#I've mostly kept this constrained to discord I think but fuck it we ball my 95ish tumblr followers get to hear it too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alt0stratuscloud · 4 months ago

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y'know that one tumblr post that's like. 'there's characters that even if I don't talk about them often are still stored somewhere in my head on a back burner somewhere, still going'. I've got like that but evil now for cwilbur fuck man I care about that character a lot

#wilbur soot #cwilbur #I've like. I had a fic planned to process grief through if certain people I care about Died that used Him as the vessel #level fucked up about him #I listened to playlists themed around a ship he was in as most of my music taste for a solid year and so much music reminds me of him #I processed a huge thing that'd been wrecking my mental health for years through the lens of crime boys #I have an ongoing crisis about how communities and such keep collapsing and guess who I'd handed that emotion to in a fic! guess who's part #of that very same crisis now!#I realized I was trans by daydreaming pogtopia era self insert fanfic! he wasn't Directly involved in that scene but Fuck!#he has claws in my brain!! Shaking him and it's meant to be angry but it's too blorboish a behavior and I stop and stare at him in my hands #I still care! FUCK!#. so yeah thats how im doin #I've mostly kept this constrained to discord I think but fuck it we ball my 95ish tumblr followers get to hear it too #so. yeah. still fucked up about this 5 months later. at least im not crying Daily anymore that was getting old #it's still a good thing it all came to light but people do underestimate like. how much fiction helps people

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