#I've missed ya Peanut

[magicalqueennightmare]

Things Change

Daryl Dixon x Reader

This started as a drabble about Daryl wanting to know where the rest of your tattoos are....it became this. Enjoy

Warnings: Violence, cursing, slightly suggestive at the end

"Flirtationship" that's what Maggie called whatever was between you and Daryl. You weren't sure what to call it. One minute it seemed like he was near admitting something then he'd shut back down. You knew you were friends but then there were times he'd get jealous when some of the transplants from Woodsbury would talk to you too long or get a little snippy if you went on a run with someone else. You knew one thing for certain, you weren't breaking first.

You slowly walked through the abandoned store, careful of every step you took. Michonne was two aisles over and Daryl was somewhere under the same roof. So far the three of you had gotten lucky, only two walkers had been hiding within the shadows of the old Piggly Wiggly.

This run had gone pretty well. You'd worked on the supply list for Hershel and had picked up pretty much everything actually.

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You made it to the end of the aisle and Michonne stood there with a mischievous looking grin and her hand behind her back "What ya got?" You asked and she pulled her hand out to reveal two protein bars "The last two peanut butter ones"

You took one with a little giggle of delight. As the two of you tore into the treats you heard Daryl's footsteps behind you before he said "You sound like a damn chipmunk girl" you glanced over your shoulder at him "Don't be mad cause you didn't get one"

He stepped up close enough his chest was tight against your back. With one hand on your hip he leaned down and whispered in your ear "I could always do this" and before you could ask what he'd reached around you with his other hand and snapped a piece of the protein bar off and popped it into his mouth.

You gasped dramatically "Daryl Dixon! Stealing from a helpless woman" he shook his head "Woman, yeah. Helpless? hell no, you ain't.

Michonne shook her head and laughed "Did both of you finish your lists?" You nodded and Daryl did too so She waved towards the door "Lets get back"

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The three of you walked together back towards the front of the store and passed a still intact magazine rack. You stopped to examine a tattoo one.

As you flipped through Michonne leaned over your shoulder looking as well. "There's some nice ink in here" you commented and she shrugged "I like your tattoos myself" Daryl looked from you to her "The rose on her arm?"

Michonne cut her eyes at you, a slight smirk working its way onto her face then shook her head "No, her other ones" "Other ones?" Daryl asked with a raised eyebrow so you tossed the magazine down and quickly changed the subject to needing to get back to the prison before everyone started worrying about the three of you.

You didn't miss how Daryl's eyes flicked across your body like he was trying to figure out where you were hiding the other tattoos, causing a trail of heat to raise across your skin as if his touch had followed his eyes but eventually he nodded "Yeah, let's get going"

A few days later you were helping Carol cook in the center of the yard and felt more than heard someone walk up behind you even before a smile worked its way onto her face. "Hey Daryl" you spoke without turning around.

She looked a little more than amused because you'd told her about the whole him questioning the location of your other tattoos thing. He bumped your shoulder with his "Wanna get out the fence for a while? Was gonna go hunt"

You cut your eyes at Carol and she nodded "I've got it covered" you turned your head slightly to look at Daryl who was standing close enough to your back he was nearly touching you "I'm gonna go grab my bow and my gun. Meet ya at the gate?" He nodded so you turned to walk off.

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Daryl watched you walk away then looked back at Carol who was watching him with a grin. "What?" She shook her head "Nothing. You're kinda obvious though"

"About what?" She shook her head again and went back to turning the food. He stood there for a minute and considered just walking off but ever since you and Michonne had mentioned your other tattoos the thought hadn't left his mind just where those other tattoos were. He shouldn't he thinking this hard about it.

"Carol.." he started but she cut him off "Yes, I know where all her tattoos are. No, I'm not telling you. And the thing you're obvious about is that you're head over heels for her and can't figure out how to approach it. She won't bite, well i mean she might if you ask her to"

"I didn't...I'm not..." he stammered, feeling his face warm but about that time he heard your voice echo across the yard "DAMMIT DIXON. DON'T KEEP A WOMAN WAITING"

Carol looked back at him and started laughing at the look on his face "Go catch up with her. You and me both know she'll go out on her own" "Yeah, I'll catch ya later" he mumbled before heading towards the gate where you stood with your bow over your shoulder.

So far the only thing you and Daryl had managed was a half dozen squirrels, two rabbits and to kill four walkers.

You were walking shoulder to shoulder with him, careful of every step to avoid unnecessary noise. You could feel his eyes on you every now and then but assumed it was the usual "making sure you're walking right" watching.

"Think we'll luck out and find bigger game or should we just try finding a few more rabbits then head back?" You asked, turning to face him and nearly ran right into his chest.

His bow was in his right hand so his left went to your hip to steady your footing "We can make another loop to check for deer tracks" he answered and you nodded slowly, a little too focused on how tightly his hand was gripping you and on how fast your heart had started beating when he'd grabbed you there.

You took a step back making his hand fall away, readjusting your own bow in your grip "Yeah. Let's get on it"

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He hadn't missed the way your eyes had got wider when he'd grabbed your hip so your footing wouldn't slide. This thing between the two of you was getting harder to deny.

You took a few steps ahead of him then looked back "ya coming?" He nodded "Yeah, I'm coming" the two of you continued your way through the woods, looking for any movement that could bring meat to the prison.

There was one particular transplant from Woodsbury that was on very thin ìce with Rick. Like one complaint and you were fairly certain he'd catch a bullet and get thrown to the walkers at the gate.

Francis Martin. He was a lawyer pre fall and apparently still considered himself better than other people. Even Hershel wasn't too particularly fond of him. What was worse? He was misogynistic as hell.

He couldn't understand why Rick had so many women in the group that he trusted and respected the way he did you, Michonne, Maggie and Carol. Beth was luckily still young enough to be under his radar a bit.

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You and Maggie were working with a few of the women from Woodsbury. Some of them had no knowledge of self defense or basic weapon training so you were doing what you could.

Glenn had of course volunteered if the two of you needed someone to show how to fight with. He was slightly taller than Maggie and had a few inches on you.

--------------

You were showing one woman how to tuck her hand to throw a punch when you heard someone laugh and looked up to see Francis leaned against the wall watching. "Something funny Martin?" He waved a hand around "This"

You saw Glenn out the corner of your eye and shook your head slightly. As much as you loved Glenn for being protective you didn't need a man coming to your rescue because he'd never back off. You took a step towards Francis "What's funny about it? Your governor never taught them self defense or weapons training. We're trying to help them have a chance at surviving"

He pushed off the wall and took a step towards you "Women teaching women survival. It's a joke honey" you felt yourself bristle at him calling you honey. "I haven't seen you lift a damn finger to help anything. You haven't taken a guard shift, haven't helped the farming section, you damn sure don't hunt. You don't clean the kills. You don't cook. You don't help with laundry. You don't help with the water supply. You don't help with the solar panels we scavenged. What do you do?"

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You could feel a crowd growing and knew Glenn had more than likely summoned Rick or went in search of him but you weren't taking your eyes off the sorry excuse for a man in front of you. "And you do so much? I always see you hanging off Dixon" he spat and without thinking you swung, connecting a solid punch to his jaw. He staggered a bit then spit out a mouthful of blood "You're gonna regret that you little bitch"

"Make me regret it" He recovered and swung, landing a punch to your jaw. It was a solid hit but not hard. You'd been hit a helluva lot harder. You spit the little blood it caused from your teeth slicing your lip out "That was weak"

You kicked out and it connected with his knee. He went down and you started to walk off but heard one of the women Alice scream for you to watch out. You side stepped the knife in enough time it just barely grazed your arm.

You jumped back out of his arm's reach, a shocked laugh escaping you "A fucking knife? Really" you heard Rick's voice but didn't move your eyes off the threat. "RICK, THIS FUCKING MANIAC IS TRYING TO KILL ME"

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Rick appeared over your shoulder "Francis put the knife down and you might walk away from this" "Not before I kill that bitch" Francis seemed like he was fucking possessed, the fragility of the male ego mixed with the stress of the apocalypse?

"Fair enough" you heard Daryl's voice right before a crossbow bolt landed dead center of Francis' left eye.

He dropped like a rock. Rick grabbed your shoulder and turned you to face him "Are you ok?" You nodded "I'm fine" his eyes raked across your body before landing on your bleeding arm "He cut you" you shook your head "Barely a graze"

He leveled you with a look so you sighed "I'll go see Hershel" he nodded "Good girl" then looked around "It's getting late. Everyone head inside. Me and Daryl will clean up"

You cut your eyes at Daryl who looked from your split lip to your arm. "You good?" You nodded "Asshole just caught me off guard with the knife and trying to make sure he didn't hurt anyone else"

Rick nodded "We need to reevaluate everyone from Woodsbury" you shook your head "he was the only weakling. It's solid now" both men studied you for a moment then nodded "Go get stitched up then head to bed" Rick said and you nodded "Yes sir" then headed inside.

Once you headed inside Rick looked at Daryl "Are you good?" "Yeah" Daryl answered quickly but Rick wasn't buying it that easily. He'd seen the anger in his friend's eyes when Francis had threatened you, mixed with how little hesitation he'd had with putting him down with the entire yard filled with people.

Rick studied him for moment before speaking again "I missed it too. I'm just as guilty for her getting hurt" when Daryl didn't say anything he added "Why don't you go talk to her when we get through here?"

Daryl finally looked up at that, "About what?" Rick raised an eyebrow "You didn't hesitate. Nothing would've stopped you from putting him down. Not because he was dangerous to everyone here but because he was threat to her directly. That means something. I think it's time you two figure out what"

Daryl just grunted in reply before kicking Francis' body "Lets get this asshole out"

You finally made it into your cell and collapsed across the cot. Your mind was going a little too much for your liking.

After you'd gotten cleaned up you'd made your way to Hershel for stitches. While you'd been sitting on top of the table in the main area people had started trickling in. First it was your group. Carl and Beth with Judith in tow. Then Michonne and Carol, ever the protectors they were. Then came Glenn and Maggie.

Your group hadn't affected you. You were family which meant you were used to all of you checking on each other if an injury happened.

What bothered you was the Woodsbury women. The ones who talked about Francis. How uncomfortable he'd made them. Comments and actions you hadn't noticed. You shouldn't shoulder the burden alone, it was the apocalypse but you felt responsible because like it or not too much of your attention had been on Daryl and the question of what were the two of you.

The guilt of if Francis had hurt someone was unbearable. You knew you had to talk to Daryl, lay your cards on the table and let them fall where they may but that didn't mean you had to like it.

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You were half asleep when you heard a light tap on the bars. Your eyes flew open and your knife was in your hand before your brain caught up completely.

You recognized the shadow outside your cell immediately and relaxed, leaning up to lay your knife on the top bunk "Come in Daryl" you said it loud enough he could hear you but still low enough to not disturb anyone else.

He pushed the door of your cell open then pushed past the orange shower curtain you'd scavenged a while back for privacy. He pulled the cell door closed behind him then leaned against the wall just inside the door.

"How ya feeling?" He asked, eyes going to your arm where it still rested half across your face. You ran a finger down the bandage "Ten stitches. Hershel gave me the usual aftercare of keep em as clean as possible, change my bandages and when to take em out"

He nodded slowly as you sat up then scooted back so your back was against the wall then you patted the bed next to you "Cmon Dixon. Sit down" he laid his crossbow down next to your bow then sat down next to you, ducking his head.

Once he was through moving around in a bid to get comfortable you saw his hand reach out for your injured arm so you let him take it. His fingers lightly grazed the bandage "You kicked his ass even before I showed up" you laughed lightly despite the guilt you felt and leaned your head over on his shoulder "Yeah, thanks for that by the way" he nodded, "I got your back. Always"

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After a moment he tucked you under his chin and you wanted nothing more than to curl up against him and ignore the guilt, the conversation that needed to happen but you couldn't.

"Daryl, he'd been harassing the Woodbury women. Worse than I realized" "That ain't your fault" he offered but you shook your head "I've been distracted"

He pulled back to look down at you "You ain't never gotten distracted easy" you stared at him for a moment then felt the tips of your ears warm. Was he that oblivious?

"Hell I only swung first because he said all I do is hang off you" at that Daryl laughed "Carol says I follow you around" you laughed lightly. His hand came up to brush your hair back from your face and your heart flipped in your chest. "You take care of everyone you can as much as you can. Don't feel guilt for what that asshole did"

You swallowed hard then smiled "I'll try not to" you hadn't realized you'd been staring into each other's eyes until Daryl shook his head and looked away "Ya want me to let you get some sleep?" "No" you replied without thinking and it was nearly comical how fast his eyes came back to yours.

You shrugged "I like being around you. I feel comfortable and safe" he nodded and you thought that was all would be said until he asked "That all it is?" And you were stunned with the forwardness from Daryl of all people "No, it's not" you admitted and he smiled "Good. Cause that's not all it is for me either"

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You laughed and started to lay your head back over before a thought occurred to you, "Still curious about the tattoos?" His smile turned into a smirk "Yeah?"

You climbed off the cot, Daryl watching you carefully. You took your boots off and set them next to the bed and when you unzipped your jeans, the look in his eyes made your stomach do that little flutter thing. You slid your jeans down off your hips and laid them on the top bunk leaving you in just your panties and tshirt.

You were nervous because you liked Daryl. He was one of your closest friends and how you felt about him well honestly you were fairly certain you hadn't ever had feelings like that for anyone even before the world ended. You weren't a blushing virgin either though.

He was quiet for a moment then moved up to the edge of the cot and held a hand out. You took his hand and he used it to pull you to him "Can I?" He asked and you nodded.

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Daryl watched as you slipped your jeans off, the moment your legs were free of the denim the ink came into view. It started at your hip and ran down the full length of your right leg down to your ankle, twisting and turning. Vines, roses and different flowers decorated your skin along with a few other designs hidden that blended in.

It was gorgeous and fit you well. He moved up to the edge of the cot and reached a hand for you, hoping like hell you'd take it and when you did he pulled you to him. "Can I?" He asked, nodding towards your leg and you nodded so he leaned forward letting his fingers trace across the patterns inked into your skin "Why ya been hiding this?"

"Even in the Georgia heat shorts aren't really practical" you replied, resting your hands on his shoulders as he explored the tattoo further. When his thumb brushed a little higher on your thigh a light sigh escaped you and he grinned to himself. Did he really have that effect on you?

He looked up at you and you smiled "Whend ya get em?" "Eighteenth birthday. Got in a pretty bad wreck at fifteen. Dad was driving and walked away without a scratch. I had four surgeries and pins in my leg which left lots of scars. He felt like shit because he ran a red"

He nodded slowly, fingers still trailing across your leg "Looks good" you smiled again "Thank you" he leaned forward and let his lips just barely brush against the rose that was on the bend on your hip, nearly hidden under your panty line and you sucked in a harsh breath "Daryl"

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You knew he was doing it on purpose when he looked up at you "Somethin wrong?" "So we're doing this? Us?" You asked and he nodded "If you want it, I do" you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth chewing on it and saw the look in his eyes. He was as turned on as you were. "We'll have to be quiet"

He grinned "We can try but the kids are upstairs at least" you started to roll your eyes but he leaned up to press another kiss to your leg, this one a little higher and you gasped "Damn you Daryl" he laughed against your skin "You can cuss me all you want woman as long as you keep saying my name like that"

[thefallennightmare]

While I love a good whore on my shoulder thot, there are moments I need a soft whisper from the whore on my shoulder, one that reassures me everything is alright. I've been in a weird funk so here's a little Soft!Noah blurb for once. It's kind of a long one. Please act surprised I mentioned The Crow. It's my comfort fic and its heavily needed right now.

CW's(talks of sadness and depression, soft!Noah, language, and feelings like you're not good enough.)

Noah immediately knew something was wrong when he stepped foot into your apartment, seeing all of the lights turned off and the pile of dishes in the sink. He'd been gone only a few days, a festival overseas, but when he left you, things were good.

Or so he thought.

"Angel?" He called out into the even darker hallway as he reached your bedroom; the door cracked.

In the small sliver of light, he could barely make out the lump of blankets on your bed. But he knew you were part of that lump. Noah knew checking your bedroom was the first place on his list of where you'd be because you missed the last three of his phone calls. He would have worried but according to your LIFE360 location and the most recent Instagram story of you watching a movie, you were home.

"Angel," Noah spoke again, this time stepping into the dark bedroom, only lit up by the television; the familiar opening line of The Crow reaching his ears.

The original version. While the remake was something you found yourself watching from time to time for obvious reasons, nothing compared to the classic. It was your comfort fic, something you always watched when you found yourself in these moods. It became a part of not only you but Noah as well. He could recite the opening scene word for word.

Your eyes peered over the top of the blanket but that and the mess of hair on top of your head was all he could see as he stood at the end of the bed.

"When did you get home?" Your voice was meek, pausing the movie quickly. "I thought I was going to pick you up from the airport."

He nodded while kicking off his shoes and climbing into bed with you. Typically he had a rule of immediately jumping in the shower once he returned home from your but there were more pressing moments at hand.

Your happiness.

"Jolly dropped me off," he explained before lifting the three blankets and snuggling up in bed next to you.

Now up close, Noah could see that it had been a few days since you brushed your hair. He wouldn't have been surprised if you were sporting the messy bun since he left.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked after pulling you into his chest, large hands dragging up and down your back.

You hesitated in his embrace for a moment, unsure if now was the right time to talk about how you'd been feeling since he just returned from an overseas festival. Noah had to have been tired, surely the last thing he wanted was to talk about your depression.

"Don't listen to that voice, angel," Noah murmured into the skin of your forehead, already knowing what you were thinking.

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you let out a shaky breath before burying your face into the warmth of his hoodie. He smelled like stale peanuts and the airport. But also, him.

It wasn't until that moment you realized how much you missed him.

"I don't know," you began, trying to find the right words to explain how you felt. "I just feel so down; sad. Nothing happened besides you leaving but you've left for tour without me plenty of times before so I'm not sure why it was so bad this time."

Noah hummed but let you continue on, your fingers sneaking underneath his hoodie to graze over his heated skin.

"Work has been kicking my ass and trying to please everyone while feeling like I'm a machine makes me not want to get out of bed. Almost like what's the point, ya know?" You finally peered your eyes up at him, seeing the bags underneath his.

His bangs were brushed across his forehead and even in your sad state, you marveled at your husband's beauty.

"I told you to come with me," he said. "It would have been a good break for you."

Your face fell, knowing that he tried for weeks before he left to get you to come with him but your reasoning was always the same.

I can't miss work for that many days.

Now you were regretting not going with Bad Omens to Australia, the pictures Noah sent you of him with the kangaroo your new phone wallpaper. He looked so happy yet sad that his wife wasn't with him.

"These episodes come and go in waves. I can't explain why I feel so sad but I do. Maybe I need some vitamin D or something," you muttered.

Noah gave you a playful wink causing you to smack his chest with a soft giggle, one that made him smile wide. Leave it to him to make you smile when you were feeling low.

"I think you also could benefit from a vacation. Both of us deserve one."

You nodded in agreement. "Where to?"

He shrugged while propping the arm that wasn't wrapped around you behind his head. "Wherever your wings want to go, angel. I'll follow."

The line from your vows made your heart flutter in your chest.

"I love you," you pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You've only been home for ten minutes and you already lifted my spirits."

Now he brushed his lips to yours, saving the taste of something you drank earlier.

"Do you want to finish watching the movie?" He motioned to the television.

"Don't you want to shower first?" You asked while sitting up and went to run your hands through your hair, only for it to come back greasy making you cringe. "Maybe I should be the one to shower."

Noah was quick on his feet, extending a hand towards you. One you took.

"I'll run us a bath and even wash your hair," he wrapped you underneath his arm. "Then we can get some snacks in bed and watch the movie."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you spoke into his chest.

[daytaker]

Chat Log: A Human Child Arrives in the Devildom

Beelzebub: I don’t remember. Beelzebub: I don't remember that either. Mammon: Oi, Beel, what the hell are you saying? Satan: That isn’t Beel. It’s “the new human exchange student”. Mammon: Why are ya sayin’ that in quotes? Satan: You’ll see. Mammon: The hell does that mean?! Beelzebub: I fell. Beelzebub: I fell out a tree and then I was here. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. I thought I said to look after the human child. Why is it sending nonsense in the chat? Asmo: It can’t talk, so we’re asking it questions out loud and having it answer like this! Lucifer: Why did you not create a new chat where you could interrogate it without annoying the rest of us? Satan: Convenience. This chat already existed. Mammon: Whoa whoa whoa, did you say human CHILD? Why the hell did you guys recruit a child? Lucifer: We didn’t. Something appears to have gone wrong in the summoning process. Barbatos is attempting to resolve the issue as we speak. Mammon: Is the kid still in the chat? Asmodeus: Yes, Beel loaned it his phone. Mammon: Hey kid, ya like ice cream? Beelzebub: Yes. Mammon: Well, I got a massive chocolate cone for any human kid who’s willing to come hang out around the central plaza for a few hours. Demons’ll pay good money to get a look at a genuine human child.  Mammon: Hey, Asmo, is it cute? Beelzebub: They want me to tell you I'm not going anywhere with you. Asmodeus: Yeah, leave the poor thing alone! It probably misses its parents! Asmodeus: And yes, it’s adorable! ♡ Mammon: Good, folks’ll pay more for that. Leviathan: Whaaaaaat? Sorry, just backread, but wow! You guys isekai’d a BABY to RAD? LOLOLOLOL Beelzebub: I’m not a baby. Lucifer: I apologize for the delay in sending this message. I was occupied with Diavolo and Barbatos. Lucifer: Mammon, if you take that child out in public and it gets eaten, I will flay you alive. Beelzebub: Do demons eat kids? Mammon: Yep. Mammon: They’re pretty freakin’ delicious too. Way better than old people. Mammon: ‘Cause they’re softer. Lucifer: Shut up and listen. Lucifer: Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if this issue is going to be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. Lucifer: Mammon, if I leave you in charge of the human until tomorrow, do you think you can keep it alive? Mammon: What? Why me? Ain’t Asmo and Satan there already? Lucifer: I hesitate to entrust a child to either Asmo or Satan for any extended period of time due to certain personality defects each of them possess. Asmodeus: Rude!!! Mammon: What about Beel? Lucifer: Beel would certainly eat it. Mammon: …Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. Please take the human to the school gates and wait for Mammon to retrieve it. In the meantime, Diavolo has graciously offered to lend it the D.D.D. he had prepared for the original transfer student, so stop by the dean’s office to pick it up. Asmodeus: Fine, we're going. Mammon: I really gotta do this, huh? Lucifer: Yes. Mammon: :( Leviathan: LOLOLOLOL!!! This is hilarious! Lucifer: Don't think I've forgotten about you, Levi. I'd like you to prepare a few dishes Barbatos says are in vogue with human children. Leviathan: Wait, are you making me its personal chef? Mammon: Ha! Serves ya right! Leviathan: Shut up, Mammon. Lucifer: Macaroni and cheese. Lucifer: Chicken tenders/nuggets (in the shape of dinosaurs, if possible) Leviathan: Dinosaurs? Lucifer: Apple juice. Lucifer: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lucifer: French fries. Lucifer: Cheese pizza. Leviathan: Do I have to make all of this right now? Lucifer: Chocolate chip cookies. Lucifer: Human-world grapes. Leviathan: Am I being trolled right now? Lucifer: Absolutely not. Prepare one dish immediately using whatever ingredients we already own. Lucifer: Human, if you are still here, I would like to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the Royal Academy of Diavolo for this unfortunate mistake. Lucifer: I hope we are able to resolve this in a timely manner.

[daryltwdixon]

The Ruins of Us: Chapter 16

Summary: You meet more of the Greene family as you begin to adventure around the house, and end up trapped in a confrontation with Lori of all people. She's suspicious and cold as she warns you to stay away from Shane. In a flashback, you're sick and tired of Daryl's missed calls, the kiss he had with your friend. So you decide to go to the Dixon residence to confront him, only to be left with an empty feeling of the end of a friendship.

notes: sorry for the multiple chapters in a day lol I'm just excited to be writing again! these chapters have me so emoshie lately

no warnings apply, lmk if I've missed any

x flash forward x

After a few minutes of closing your eyes in the bed, you begin to sit up, sick of laying there any longer. Wrapping the thin sheet around your body, you lightly swing your feet to the side of the bed, where the hard wood is warm under your touch from the sun peeking in through the drapes. Keeping both eyes on your feet, you begin to rise out of the bed, your legs sore from not moving the past few days.You reach out to steady yourself, fingers gripping the cool metal of the footboard.  As you carefully take more steps, you look out the window into the sunlit yard. Leaning up against the warm glass, you take in the farm that seems to stretch far for acres. 

The tree line along the edge of the property feels familiar—must be where you came from when searching for Sophia with Rick and Shane. Your eyes land on the RV parked beyond the house, and you spot some of your group: Andrea, Glenn, Dale, and Carol, all busy setting up tents. An older man stands by an old blue truck, talking to Rick and Shane. Daryl’s there too, his crossbow slung over his shoulder, Your palm itches with the memory of his kiss. 

Before you can dwell on it, the door to your room creaks open.

A woman with cropped brown hair and bright green eyes enters, carrying a heap of folded clothes. She stops short when she sees you standing, a quick apology slipping from her lips.

"Didn’t think you’d be up and about just yet,” her Georgia accent is thick, and she approaches you gently, holding out the pile of clothing in her arms, “Looks like you might be needin’ these. They’re mine, hope you don’t mind. Didn’t think you’d fit into Beth’s anymore,”

“Beth?” you ask quietly, taking the clothing with one arm while your other hand clutches at the sheets around you. Your brows furrow as you look up to her with your question.

“My little sister,” she smiles at you, “I’m Maggie,”

“Y/N,” you reply simply.

“I know,” she breathes a little laugh, “you’ve been the talk of the house for quite a few days now,” you smile back at her, and turn to set the clothes on the bed.

“I’ll give you a moment and make ya a plate of lunch,” she excuses herself out the door. 

Lunch?

Eventually, you make your way out of the bedroom, the hinges squeaking as you close the door behind you. The clothes Maggie gave you fit well, and you were surprised when even the bootcut jeans sat comfortably on your waist. The green halter top leaves your shoulders bare, and drapes loosely on your body. 

The floorboards creak under your steps as you slowly walk through the house. It’s a cozy, lived-in space, so different from the world outside. The photos lining the walls show Maggie with her family—brothers, sisters, parents. The house was too quiet, you knew not all of them were here anymore. Your gaze lingers on a large framed picture, the smiles frozen in time before everything went to hell. Maggie looks younger, happier, the light in her eyes brighter than it was today.

Your head turns as you hear a clattering in the kitchen. As you turn the corner into the room, you see Lori and Maggie standing in the kitchen. Lori is over the sink, scrubbing dishes while Maggie looks to be cutting something up on a plate. When she sees you, she cracks a small smile, pushing the plate across the island countertop.

“Hope you like peanut butter and jelly,” her smile widening. 

You nod and step closer, your mouth watering as you take in the sandwich with strawberries and carrots on the side. They look like they’ve come straight from a home garden. 

“Thanks,” you say quietly, and bring the sandwich up to your mouth. The simple taste feels like a small luxury. 

Lori glances over her shoulder, her gaze lingering on you for a moment before turning back to the sink. There's something cold in the way she looked at you, like she was sizing you up. Maggie, oblivious to the tension, continues wiping the counters, and then she suddenly turns and heads out the kitchen and through the front door. As you’re finishing your plate, you slowly make your way over to the sink where Lori is still working. When you stop beside her, you lay the plate down warily by the side of the sink. You watch her for a moment, studying her long dark hair with bangs that cover her eyes from this angle. 

“Lori, how are you?” you ask quietly. She’s hard to read, and you can’t tell why she has been so cold to you from the start, “How’s Carl?” you add. 

Her eyes flicker up to you, “You and Shane have known each other a long time, haven’t you?” she doesn’t answer either of your questions. Her voice is tense, and she looks back down to the pot in her soapy hands.

You stand straight, caught off guard, “Yeah, we’ve been through a lot together,” 

There’s an edge to Lori’s smile, something that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. "I noticed."

For a moment, there's a heavy silence, the tension between you is palpable. She looks up at you again, longer this time, as if you’re being studied.

“You saw us talking, didn’t you? At the CDC? At the church?” Lori asks, her voice too calm. It’s a question, but also an accusation.

Your chest tightens. You don't answer right away, unsure of where this is going. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I just—”

“It’s just funny,” Lori cuts you off, her tone still sharp but measured, she looks down again at her dishes, resting her hands tensely on either side of the sink, leaning now. “You’re always around when Shane’s involved. Almost like you’re still part of whatever he had going on before everything changed.”

You frown suddenly, feeling the tension grow. "I don’t know what you mean by that."

Lori pauses her scrubbing again, her expression hardening. “I don’t know what you two had before, and frankly, I don’t care. But whatever it was, it ends now.”

You bristle, feeling a mix of confusion and defensiveness rising in yourself, “There’s nothing going on, Lori. Shane and I—our history is done. I don’t know what he told you, but–”

Lori’s eyes narrow, her voice dropping to a cold edge. "I don’t know what’s going on, but ever since you showed up, Shane’s been different, and you’re too close to comfort. And honestly? I don’t wanna know why you and Daryl can’t seem to stay out of each other’s orbit. Y’all are joined at the damn hip.” 

Your throat tightens. You try to find the words, but Lori is wiping her hands off now with a cloth, shaking her head.

"Just stay away from my family," Lori finishes coldly before walking off, leaving you standing in the kitchen, speechless.

x flashback x

It's been a couple days since you met with Shane. You’d been ignoring his calls–not that he called much these days. But when he did, you let your phone sit unanswered. You were angry and frustrated with him. How he didn’t care about your deepest friendship, and things had only gotten more confusing between you, him, and Daryl. You thought about the night a week ago or so ago when Daryl was kissing Dana and the calls he left unanswered since then. Except for the other day, when he barely spoke two words to you.

You couldn’t take it anymore, so you’re in a cab, hoping to see him. You spent your last remaining cash to go all the way home. Hoping to get answers.

As you pulled up outside the Dixon place, the familiar rusted-out cars and scattered tools are exactly how you remember them. The house looked like it hasn’t changed at all, but something feels different. Colder, maybe. You spotted Merle on the porch, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he watched you step out of the car. His eyes were sharp, always calculating. You closed the cab door behind you, leaning in to give the driver your cash. Turning around, you see Merle still watching you.

“Well, look who’s come back from the land of the learnin’,” he said with a smirk, standing up from his chair. “What, they kick ya out already?”

You rolled your eyes, but there’s no real bite behind it. “Where’s Daryl?”

Merle chuckled, flicking his cigarette to the ground. “He’s around. Ain’t gonna be too happy seein’ ya, though. College girl like you don’t belong in a place like this no more.”

You frowned, walking toward the porch. “Cut the crap, Merle. You know why I’m here.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying himself. “Daryl’s been actin’ all squirrelly, huh? Bet you’re wonderin’ what’s got his panties in a twist.” He stepped down from the porch, his voice softening just a little. “But I’ll tell ya one thing—he ain’t been himself lately.”

“What do you mean? Where is he?” you asked, quieter now.

Before Merle could reply, the door swung open, and Daryl stepped out. His hair hung in his face, and the bruise you saw at Henderson’s has turned a nasty yellow and green on his eye. You froze, taking in the sight of him, and your heart sank. What the hell happened to him?

“Daryl,” you called out, but he didn't look at you. He walked past you, not saying a word, heading toward the shed like you were invisible.

Without thinking, you followed him, your emotions bubbling over, “You’re just gonna walk away? After everything?”

He didn’t answer, his hands clenched tightly at his sides. You grabbed his arm, his skin hot under your touch. His arm tensed in your grip as he spun around to face you. 

“Talk to me, Daryl! What is going on with you?”

His eyes flickered with something—pain, maybe anger—but he quickly pulled his arm free. “Ain’t nothin’ to talk about.”

“Nothing?” you scoffed, your voice rising. “You kiss my friend at a bar, ignore me for weeks, and then I come back to see you like this? Don’t lie to me, Daryl. What happened?”

Daryl’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you think he might actually tell you. But then his eyes hardened, looking away, and he shook his head. “You don’t belong here no more. Just go back to school.”

His words hit like a slap to the face. “Don’t do this,” you pleaded, your voice softer. “Don’t push me away. I’m not gonna leave you.”

“Yeah, you are,” he muttered, turning away again. “You got a whole new life now. Ain’t no place for you here.”

Your throat tightened, eyes burning with the threat of tears, “Is this because of Shane?” you asked, the words slipping out before you can stop them. You know something happened between them, you just don’t know what.

Daryl froze, his back still to you, but the tension in his shoulders gave him away.

You stepped closer, your voice barely a whisper. “Why won’t you just tell me? Did he do somethin’? Is this jealousy? I thought we were past all that–”

“I ain’t jealous of no one!” his fists clenched at his sides. You reached out your hand, almost brushing up against his arm again.

“Then, please. Just tell me what’s going on.”

He reeled back, and for a second, it felt like he might’ve broken, like the weight of it all was too much. His chest heaved as he stared at you with daggers, like he could scream. But then he stepped away from you, his voice low and rough. “Ain’t your problem. Just... go.”

Tears blurred your vision as you watched him walk away, his figure disappearing into the shed. You stood there, the ache in your chest growing, feeling like you’ve lost him for good.

[laurfilijames]

Like My Dreams

Part 3

Pete Dunham Masterlist

Intro Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Pete Dunham x female reader

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: 18+ only. This is not smut yet but ohhh we're close! Swearing. Alcohol consumption. Sexual tension. Steamy make-out sesh and partial nudity. Dry humping. It's just so fluffy and romantic.

Summary: You and Pete are finally able to have your date, making up for lost time while hoping it stands still so you can indulge in the excitement of the start of your relationship.

A/N: I will continue to shout from the rooftops my love for this hooligan until the end of time and now I'm making it your problem. I've had two songs inspiring me for this portion of the story so please have a listen to help set the mood of the chapter.

---

"Eh, Ned, what's that pasta recipe you're always going on about?" Pete asked, straddling the stool as he sat down with a fresh pint.

"Easy, mate," he shrugged, popping a handful of peanuts in his mouth before listing off a slew of ingredients used to make his pasta that they all fought for leftovers of, Pete scribbling notes down on a napkin.

"...tomatoes, then some fresh basil…"

"Wait, hang on…"

"Add in the cream, but after the sauce has simmered, you don't want it too hot when you add it in-"

"I said, hang on!" Pete shouted, finding himself frustrated by how loud the others were being as he was trying to get everything down.

"Nah, mate, you've got to save some of the water from the pasta after it's boiled instead of cream," Swill chimed in, obnoxiously leaning over Dave to get his advice in.

An argument broke out between Ned and Swill over the best way to make the sauce, leaving Pete to sigh out of disbelief at how something so simple could go so awry when it came to his friends, and he looked at Dave exasperatedly for help, opening his hands so his palms faced upward in defeat.

Dave shook his head and smirked, leaning closer so Pete could hear him over the chaos, a heated debate whether canned or fresh tomatoes were better the current topic causing the scene.

"A little bit of both, mate, makes the sauce nice and silky and helps bind it together. Clair swears by it."

He knocked his glass against Pete's and took a long drink of his beer before helping him complete his list of ingredients and recipe to follow, allowing Pete to feel more confident about making sure this meal would be perfect.

The plan was for you to come over to his the following night, a way to make up for the missed date due to your car accident, wanting to stay in since you still weren't feeling completely back to normal from your injuries despite it having been nearly two weeks since it happened.

"You excited then?" Dave asked, catching Pete lost in his thoughts.

He grinned, "Yeah, mate. Really looking forward to it." Pete spun his glass on the lacquered table, unable to stop himself from grinning even more.

He had seen you briefly over the span of your recovery, visiting as much as he could, but now that you were on the mend and starting to feel more yourself, the anticipation of finally having that official date with you had him buzzing.

"So, how did you…know?" he asked Dave, rubbing his hands on his thighs before returning them to the table to fiddle with the paper peeling at the edge of the Foster's coaster he'd been working at for hours now.

"Know…?" Dave questioned, his brows knitting as he took a drink, not breaking eye contact with Pete.

Pete sighed and gestured as if his question was the most obvious thing, making Dave nod and quickly swallow his beer.

"Oh!" he choked. "Know? Yeah, I mean, it sounds cliché, but you just…know."

"So that's how it was with you and Clair?"

Dave nodded, his smile big and genuine. "I immediately knew it. It was different."

Pete hummed, looking up at the telly.

"You think it is then, eh?" Dave nudged his arm.

"Yeah, mate."

"Pleased for ya, mate, I really am." Dave smiled. "Don't hold back on it either."

Pete nodded, knowing he wouldn't, not after life had nearly left him without the opportunity to find love at all outside of football and his firm and feeling more than ready to go all-in on it.

Pete's Saturday had been spent shopping and cleaning, prepping all his supplies for the full Italian dinner he was preparing for you while frantically making sure his mangy flat was looking as good as it could, his usual contented feelings toward it replaced by an inadequacy he rarely experienced.

He debated untacking the West Ham United flag from the wall that he had made when he was about eight years old, the juvenility of it screaming at him each time he passed it, ultimately ignoring it altogether as he got distracted in tidying his poor excuse of a kitchen and attempting to organize the chaos that was his record and book collection that had been shifted into piles around his coffee table rather than their rightful places on shelves.

His heart stopped each time his phone vibrated with a text, assuming it would be you canceling because you weren't feeling well enough or something else finding its way in to disrupt your date again, only to breathe a heavy sigh of relief to see it was one of the lads.

Hours passed, and finally he was beginning to prep dinner, wanting most of it done so he would be able to spend as much time focused on you as he could, but also abiding by your wishes to help him cook as you had insisted on wanting to do the last time he spoke with you.

A knock on his door stopped him from chopping garlic, smiling as he wiped his hands on the tea towel sitting on the counter and walked through to answer it, turning down the volume on his record player as he passed.

"Hiya, gorgeous," he greeted, his smile stopped from spreading across his cheeks when he took in the sight of you, biting his lip instead. "Wow!"

"Hi, Pete," you purred, your voice making him thrum with desire.

He stepped out of the way to let you inside, his eyes locked on you the entire time, watching your own smile grow as it was clear you felt him admiring you.

"What?" you asked, peeling your jacket off and handing it to him as he held out his hand to take it.

He frowned and shook his head. "Nothing," he lied. "You just seem to get more beautiful each time I see you."

"You saw me four days ago."

"And you got more beautiful since," he whispered, leaning in close as he reached behind you to hang your coat on a hook amongst his own on the wall nearest where you stood.

"It smells incredible in here," you complimented, referring mostly to his cologne that made you feel a different sort of hunger, needing to speak in order to distract from the tension that hung between you, the yearning to kiss each other heavy in the air.

"Thanks," he smiled, strutting over to the small kitchen, stirring the beginning of what was the sauce in the pan.

Pete absentmindedly whisked as he looked at you looking around his flat, no longer feeling nervous or ashamed about having you here thanks to your genuine curiosity in his space and things, your presence in his home and amongst his belongings seeming so perfectly natural and effortlessly comfortable.

You loved it from the moment you stepped a foot inside; his flat homey and welcoming, filled floor to ceiling with all the things that held importance to him and helped make up who he was.

West Ham paraphernalia was scattered everywhere, alternating between band posters and shelves and cabinets containing CD's, books and records, the little spaces left fitting in the necessary everyday items, making it clear what held the most importance to him.

Your fingers slid across each record as you scanned over his collection, reading the familiar names of all the same bands you loved and had listened to your whole life, the edges of each sleeve worn from use and time.

"A lot of those were Dad's," he explained, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

You turned your head to look at him, a sort of solemn expression present on his face.

"Steve was pissed that he'd left them all to me, but they wouldn't have gone with that wanker's stuffy, modern decor," he laughed. "It's been close to twenty years, and I still feel close to him whenever I play them."

"That's really nice, Pete," you said, smiling at him before stepping over to one of his book shelves, stooping and tilting your head to see the titles. You pulled one off the shelf and flipped through it, the musty scent a welcomed one, and your heart swelled when you came upon his notes scribbled across some of the pages. Tucking it back in its place, you breathed in and continued to look around, admiring the varied compilation of things accumulated over the years that told the story of him and put on display a physicality of his personality, his character portrayed in all the words in those books and lyrics in the music he listened to.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, watching you from across the counter that he leaned against.

"Hmm? Yeah," you replied, your answer somewhat distracted as you were lost thinking about how perfect he was and how you longed to know everything about him. "Is there anything I can help with?"

Pete frowned and shook his head, unfolding his arms from his chest as he stirred the noodles floating in the bubbling water. "Nah, you're alright. You just stay there and continue to give me something nice to look at."

The wink he shot you went straight to your core, finding yourself unable to do as you were told as you slowly made your way around the counter and into the kitchen with him, standing as close to him as you could get. You picked up the bunch of fresh basil sitting beside the bowl of freshly grated parmesan and began to carefully tear each of the leaves into small pieces, the fragrant herb mixing in with the intoxicating smell of garlic and tomatoes, your arms brushing against each other as you both worked.

"I'm happy you're here," Pete whispered, glancing over at you, licking his lips while his blue eyes held an intensity you hadn't seen in them yet.

"Thank you for having me."

You hadn't noticed your hands halting in their duty, letting the leaves you held fall onto the counter as you turned your body to face Pete while he did the same.

The brightest smile spread across his cheeks, his hands reaching up to cup your face, and still smiling, he leaned into you and gently met your lips with his, a light chuckle sounding from him as he kissed you.

You couldn't stop the soft moan that passed through your mouth as he continued to tease your lips with his, carefully exploring and tasting and feeling you against him, the dizziness you felt when you closed your eyes and let yourself melt into the moment not on account of your lingering concussion.

Pete inhaled deeply, his fingers tightening their hold on your cheeks ever so slightly as he breathed you in, deepening his kiss before pulling away.

The way he looked at you as he licked his lips had you wanting to feel his tongue against yours again, but seeing his satisfied and entirely sweet smile made you hesitant to want to miss such a view in exchange for his craveable kiss.

"I couldn't wait to do that," you admitted, your tone breathy.

He smirked, his thumbs grazing your skin as his gaze dropped to your mouth, "Me neither."

Pete flicked the burners off on the stove and gave the sauce a quick stir before turning his attention back to you.

"Now forgive me, because I don't think I'll be able to stop."

It was your turn to smile and laugh as he captured your lips with his again, more boldly this time, your hands roaming his body as his wrapped around your back and pulled you closer into him.

"That was by far the best pasta I've ever had," you praised, taking a sip from your wine glass as Pete stood and collected your empty plates, his strut full of confidence as he took them into the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I mean it! Thank you."

"My pleasure," he winked, returning over to the table where he braced his arms on it, leaning down to kiss you slowly and sensually.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from you, standing tall while he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded over to his sofa, holding his hand out for you to take as you stood from your seat.

"Oh, I love this song," you said excitedly, hearing "In My Life" by The Beatles start to play, making Pete stop in his route and turn to look at you curiously.

"Do you?"

"Mhm…" you hummed, nodding as he faced you and smoothed his hands up your arms.

"Dance with me," he requested, slipping his hand into yours as his other landed on the small of your back, allowing you to happily step closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder. He swayed on the spot with you, the focus of your dance not on moving too much but rather to feel each other and have an excuse to be close, the sound of his heartbeat sweeter than the song could ever be.

The two and a half minutes seemed to fly by faster than usual, disappointing you slightly when it ended and the next tune began, but like Pete sensed your disappointment and felt the same, he kissed your forehead before releasing his hold on you and went over to the record player, moving the needle to start the track over.

He walked back over to you and wrapped you in his arms again, holding you tighter and closer than before, his forehead resting on yours as he resumed moving in subtle motions. You tipped your head so your nose brushed along his jawline, inching your mouth closer to his where he graciously accepted your offer and parted his lips for you.

Sighing into his mouth, your hands traveled up his back and into his hair, the buzzed cut of it feeling incredibly soft and almost velvety on your palms, and with each pass of your tongues and brush of your lips, you sank further and further into your growing feelings for him.

Every part of you that his hands and mouth touched sparked with electricity, leaving a reminiscent tingle that you swore you would be able to feel for days after, and with your dancing having been abandoned now for the duration of the song plus another, you thought how stopping yourself from kissing him was going to be impossible to do.

Pete briefly paused the movement of his lips, peeling himself away from you to guide you over to the sofa, sitting on it with his legs spread wide as he looked up at you adoringly, his thumbs rubbing over the tops of your hands that he still held.

You freed your hands from his, gently carding them up the column of his neck to his jaw, watching him close his eyes as he relished in your touch, bringing your face down to press a kiss on his perfect lips again.

Letting your hands fall from his cheeks down to his shoulders, you used him for support as you straddled his lap, eliciting a low groan from him as you seated yourself on his groin, his mouth flying to meet yours enthusiastically in response.

Your breath shook out of your lungs when you felt his cock hardening against you, the noises that spilled from his mouth into yours encouraging you to grind and rock lightly as you kissed each other harder, your hands tearing along his toned upper back and up over his head, raking your fingers carelessly through his hair.

"Pete…" you murmured, losing yourself in the euphoria of this, his lips marking a trail along your jawline and onto your neck, his teeth nipping and grazing your skin that caused goosebumps to erupt on you from head to toe.

He loved the sound of his name coming off your lips half as much as he loved your smell and taste, and a desperate feeling to discover all of you overcame him, his breathing ragged as everything began to intensify.

Time passed by without notice, the record that had been playing stopped long ago, the only sounds filling the quiet of his flat those of your wet lips eagerly meeting and your panting breaths. Your quiet moans and whimpers were driving him mad in the most craveable way, something he would endure endless hours of torture in order to hear, feeling constantly torn between wanting to take things slow and giving in to every desire that roared in him.

Aware of your healing injury, Pete carefully slipped his hand under your shirt and ghosted his fingers along your waist, feeling you contract slightly and press your mouth harder on his. Worried he had hurt you, he went to move his hand away, only to be stopped when you grabbed it and placed it back on your tender ribs, silently granting him permission to continue, your trust in him to treat you delicately coming off loud.

Slowly, and with a small wince, you lifted your arms above your head, allowing him to pull your shirt off, his hands smoothing over your warm, soft skin after tossing it somewhere on the floor.

His lips found your collarbone, kissing across it and onto your shoulder, then slowly back again where he caressed up your neck, his nose brushing along lightly as he drank you in.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, his lips moving on your skin when he spoke.

The way Pete made you smile was unimaginable, and even in this tender and intimate moment, you couldn’t help yourself, feeling radiant in his worship of you.

He placed another kiss on your neck before glancing up at you, seeing you beaming, his seriousness replaced by joy the second he saw your face.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed him close, giggling when he rubbed his face in the crook of your neck, his own laugh resounding against you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Pete,” you whispered, your smile fading as you took one of your hands and touched his lips with your fingers, your eyes focused on every little detail of his face. The scars on his cheek and right eyebrow where the hair refused to grow back, faded bruises and the mole on the left side of his face between his nose and mouth, the bleached stubble that had been working its way up through his skin after a couple of days of being left unattended; all things that made him the gorgeous man he was and that you would never tire of seeing.

His eyes closed as he relaxed to your touch, his head tipping back slightly, allowing you an even better view of his perfect features. Blond eyelashes danced on his cheeks while you traced your fingertip down his nose and into the crease that flanked his mouth, over his bottom lip to the other side where you matched the same pattern, his deep sigh blowing out on your hand.

There were moments Pete could've sworn he actually had died, that there was no possible way things could be this perfect and the only answer for it was that he was either dreaming or in heaven, proving to him there was no such notion as hell existing.

This was one of those moments.

Your hands smoothed up his chest, parting his shirt where the buttons that held it together had been undone, his heart racing the longer you made contact with his bare skin.

As much as he wanted to have all of you tonight, he was desperate to savour every moment and experience you little by little, falling more in love with you with each kiss and caress, content in waiting to get to the sex if it meant prolonging all of this.

His mouth kissed along your shoulder, pushing the strap of your bra down as he went, his hands occupied by slowly rubbing your back and bum.

It was difficult to control his breathing, his lungs filling and emptying quicker than normal, feeling completely intoxicated and worked up the more he attempted to keep calm.

He wanted to taste and smell each part of you, committing it to memory so even when he wasn’t with you he could recall it, the sweet flavour of your skin making his mouth water as it transferred past his lips and onto his tongue.

“Fuck…” he muttered, his growl restricted in his throat, his spit smearing across your shoulder as he moved his mouth over to your neck.

The soft whine of his name echoed in his ears as it spilled from your beautiful pout, drawing him into reality where he peeled himself away from you enough to look at you as he leaned his back against the sofa.

He licked his lips, watching as you carefully finished removing the straps of your bra down your arms before reaching behind you to unhook the clasps, his heart hammering in his chest while more blood rushed to his throbbing cock.

It was hard to remember having anticipated anything more, time standing still as an anxious energy filled him, waiting with shattering patience as you slowly peeled your lace bra away from your chest and exposed yourself to him.

Swallowing thickly, he admired you for a moment, bringing his hands up to hold your face and pull you into him, meeting you in the middle where he claimed your mouth with a loving demand.

Shivers erupted down his spine when you tore his shirt off his shoulders, and he hurriedly assisted in tugging his arms out of the sleeves in order to get back to grasping onto you, the heat of your skin radiating onto his palms.

You broke the seal of your lips so you could see him, Pete smiling faintly as he allowed you to, your fingers brushing over his chest where his West Ham tattoo was etched proudly.

Your hands slipped up his neck and onto his face, bringing yourself closer to him again with an arch of your back, your lips crashing into his in a heated kiss, your torsos flush to one another.

The sensation of your bare skin against his was euphoric and more proof that this was too good to be true, your hard nipple and soft breast gliding along the claret red, pale blue and gold crest inked into his pec seeming incredibly erotic and visceral, your body melting into his.

Minutes that turned into hours ticked by like this; you sitting firmly on his lap, languidly grinding yourself against him while you kissed until your lips were made raw, causing Pete to become an addict, the thought of letting any amount of time between his next fix of you unbearable.

He was in love and he knew it, his heart beating with yours in a steady thrum that he had never experienced before, the wonder of you so new yet so familiar he could hardly wrap his head around it.

The contentment he felt in simply kissing you and discovering all the intricate details of your body was awe-inspiring, his patience to wait and indulge in exploring everything about you a contrast to what usually happened; rushing to scratch an itch with someone he wasn’t even fussed over, each meaningless shag a quick fix out of convenience more than anything else.

His lips and fingers took turns skimming over your form, floating over your collarbone and chest, brushing gently enough it filled you with an ache for more, your pleas coming out in needy moans and shuddering breaths.

Aware it was late but unsure of exactly what time of the night it was, Pete hoped you were also happy to ignore the clock and everything else that would serve as a distraction from each other, wanting you to stay in his arms for as long as he could possibly have you.

He smiled when you seemed to be reading his mind, your lips moving against his cheek when you spoke quietly.

“I don’t want to go home,” you admitted, the way you whispered it revealing your hesitation in doing so.

“You don’t have to,” he offered, looking up at you with all the adoration he held for you in his heart, feeling a sense of nervousness drum in his chest at the prospect of you staying the night.

“You sure?”

“Stay with me.”

Pete let out the breath he had been holding when you smiled and tugged your bottom lip in your teeth, nodding excitedly while shifting on his lap, your arms linking around his neck. He flashed a crooked smile, feeling his eyes brighten amidst everything else in his body, chuckling slightly as he leaned into you for another kiss while your fingers raked another path through his short hair just as they had countless times already.

You eventually made it into his bedroom, opting for the comfort of his bed rather than his sofa, your arms and legs tangled in a mess as you continued to kiss and cuddle until your lips stopped their movements and sleep took over.

Even though it had only been for a couple of hours at most, you woke up feeling rested and elated, being in Pete’s arms while wearing one of his jumpers and only your panties the perfect way to slowly wake, knowing you wanted to start each day just like this from now on.

You risked disturbing him by touching his lips, carefully tracing the borders of them as he slept, feeling desperate to feel them against you again despite having had them grace nearly every part of you all night.

You yelped when Pete suddenly chomped at your finger, his laugh sounding out through the otherwise quiet of the room as he rolled overtop of you, caging you in under his body. His face dug into your neck, kissing and aggressively rubbing his stubbled cheeks and chin against your sensitive skin, tickling you enough he had you squirming beneath him and laughing hysterically.

He stopped his attack, his laugh dying out into a smile as he peered down at you, his hand reaching up to your face where he trailed his fingers across your cheek lovingly.

“Morning, sunshine,” he purred.

“Good morning, Pete,” you greeted quietly, admiring the way his blue eyes lit up even more at the sound of his name.

“I quite like having you in my bed,” he said pointedly, his fingers plucking at the material that covered your otherwise bare skin. “Wearing my jumper…”

“I hope you know how happy I am to be here.”

He smiled bigger and leaned down to kiss you once, then twice, before pulling away with a small growl out of restraint.

“I do know it.”

“Good.”

Pete met your lips again, forcing the grin on your face to fade out as you became consumed by the feel of his tongue moving against yours, his lips pressing into yours eagerly.

Before getting carried away, he stopped, biting his lip to help prevent himself from crashing into you again, pulling himself off of you with a groan.

“I’ll make us a brew, yeah?”

“That sounds perfect.”

You happily watched as Pete strode through the room with as much confidence as ever, admiring the way his track pants hung low on his hips, a glance back over his shoulder accompanied by a cocky smirk making you melt into his sheets even more.

Returning a few minutes later with two West Ham mugs in hand, Pete kneeled on the bed and waited for you to prop yourself up against the headboard, adjusting the pillows so there was somewhere comfortable for you both to lean against. You took one from him and cupped it appreciatively, the warmth of it spreading through your palms like a welcomed hug as he somewhat carefully plopped himself down on the mattress beside you, his tea threatening to spill out over the top.

It was hard not to stare at him, and you found yourself grateful for him sitting directly beside you rather than in front of you, the constant need to cast your eyes on every inch of his bare, sculpted torso and the tattoos that decorated his ivory skin too much to deny.

Pete looked at you, his grin making you beam, and using your mug to hide your smile, you took a long sip, savouring the heat of the perfectly made cuppa as it slipped down your throat.

His hand landed on your thigh and gave it a squeeze as he took a drink of his own, facing forward to stare at his wall that was adorned end to end in a Hammer flag as he relished in this new reality, finding it hard to believe this was how things were turning out.

Last night was perfect. Being with you, holding you, kissing you, feeling your skin against his, talking about anything and everything whenever your lips didn’t find themselves locked together; all things that had him looking forward to more and everything in between.

“This is the best brew I've ever had,” you praised, your sweet voice bringing him out of his thoughts.

His brow hooked high on his forehead as he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, lifting his cup to his mouth again.

“How do you figure that?” he asked after swallowing the hot tea.

“Well…” you began, your hand covering his, lacing your fingers together. “I'm drinking it with you, in your bed, half naked and wearing your shirt…” you sang, your smile accessorizing your words.

Pete chuckled, nodding his head at the same time he looked down at your interlaced fingers, giving your hand a squeeze three times. “It is the best brew, innit?”

Whether it was still morning or sometime in the afternoon when you finally managed to peel away from each other, you weren't sure, your false goodbyes drawn out and spilling into the hallway over the span of many minutes, your ignorance of the clock and everything else carrying on steadily through your stay.

Pete would press himself into you again every time you managed to convince yourself to back away, his cheeky laugh and undeniable look that hinted at all he was wanting to do to make you stay persuading you into another kiss that turned into two more, your back planted firmly against the wall leading to his flat.

The click of a neighbouring door opening distracted you only slightly, the draw of Pete’s lips luring you not to care who saw you, the feel of his naked chest and back under your palms as you roamed freely over his form capturing all of your attention.

It wasn’t until the sound of someone obviously clearing their throat at your public display broke the silence that you stopped, Pete moving his face back from yours enough to see who was disturbing him while still cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“Morning, Mrs. Platt,” he sang, his charm shining brightly and charismatically just as it did any time you witnessed him talk to anybody.

She raised her brow while giving you a thorough up and down, using her cane to press the button to call up the lift.

“It’s after noon, young lad,” she croaked, not taking her eyes off you for a second, her judgment making you feel like a teenager in trouble rather than an adult who worked a serious job and paid bills.

“Nice day, innit?” he carried on, his efforts clearly one of many attempts he had tried to win over his disapproving neighbour.

The lift door dinged as it opened, and you watched as she hobbled inside, feeling too afraid to move in fear she would make more unsolicited comments, staying frozen in place like a skittish animal.

“You’d know, wouldn’t ya? Face buried in hers.”

The door slid closed, marking her descent to the ground floor, both of you relaxing the moment it did and bursting into laughter at the interaction.

“You’re gonna get me in trouble…” he drawled, dipping his face back to yours before hungrily capturing your lips again, his body leaning into yours forcefully until you were happily wedged between him and the wall once more, feeling the growing hardness between his legs pressing into your thigh.

“I think you're already in a world of trouble, Pete.”

A dark chuckle rumbled through his chest as he humbly agreed, his grin full of mischief and promise of committing to whatever acts of passion would label him as equally guilty in the sinful pleasures you had yet to discover, his mouth hovering beside your ear as he whispered darkly, “You have no idea, darling.”

---

Part 4

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! Please share the love of the story and know how grateful writers are to hear what you enjoyed! 💗

As always if you would like to be added or removed, please comment or DM!

Taglist:

@theesirenteller @inbar-thomas1980 @lilac13 @stealfromthedevil

[celestialspiritbabe]

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest episode 18: thoughts + opinions

the fight between Natsu and God Seed Aldoron has been looking good so far!

GUESS WHO WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH, ALDORON?

GSA: ''Did you think you could defeat me with physical attacks? With your pathetic mortal limitations you'll never land a blow on—'' N: ''LOOKS LIKE I GOT YA'!''

''The God Seeds will eventually revive and my strength will be restored once again.'' // *laughs in power of friendship*

GAJEEL(ZILLA)!

Cana = Aquarius?

forest of swords? well, these look more like toothpicks than swords to me, but alright...

some Gruvia for the soul! 💙🩵💙

some Gajevy for the soul as well! 🖤🧡

LUCY THINKING ABOUT NATSU! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

WE GOT ROBBED OF SUCH AN AMAZING NALU MOMENT! THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY PUT MORE EMPHASIS ON NALU IN THIS SCENE, BUT OF COURSE THEY MANAGED TO FUCK IT UP AND MAKE IT MORE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE OTHER THAN NATSU AND LUCY SPECIFICALLY (well, at least the Edolas/Elentir arc is coming up so it should be a good palate cleanser after this nothingburger of an arc for us Nalu shippers)!

let me tell you, Natsu's big ass fights against the big bad guys and Todd Haberkorn's amazing voice acting go together like peanut butter and jelly!

''I'M JUST ME. I AM NATSU DRAGNEEL OF THE FAIRY TAIL GUILD!'' // WELL, YOU'RE ALSO LUCY'S FUTURE BOYFRIEND!

BYE BYE ALDORON, YOU NASTY PIECE OF SHIT! NOBODY'S GONNA' MISS YOU AND YOU'RE BETTER OFF BEING USED AS A FIREWOOD INSTEAD!

LUCY CALLING OUT FOR NATSU! 😭😭😭

Selene >>>>>> Ignia

YES, GET HER MADMOLE!

K: ''Damn that cocky lightning dragon...'' M: ''You love him, cha.'' K: ''Yeah, I can't wait to devour him completely.''

Suzaku looks really good!

GRUVIA! 💙🩵💙🩵💙

J: ''I'm so glad my icy hot hunk is safe!'' G: ''Yeah, likewise.''

JERZA! ❤️💜❤️💜❤️

E: ''You've changed, for the better.'' J: ''It's all because of you, Erza. I'm finally ready to share my heart with someone.'' E: ''I'm glad.''

Look, I really don't want to shit on whoever Gajeel's new English VA is, but they'll never be able to capture the essence of Gajeel the way David Wald was able to. I know that might sound really harsh, but I'm still entited to my own opinion anyway!💁🏻‍♀️

BUT OH MY GOD, THAT FINAL JERZA SCENE! IT WAS DONE SO BEAUTIFULLY (PROBABLY EVEN BETTER THAN IN MANGA AND THE JAPANESE VERSION) AND IT ALMOST MADE ME CRY TEARS OF JOY!💕

Anyways, next week's episode should also be awesome because we'll finally get to see both Nasha and Greige, and I've already seen some screenshots from the episode, and both kiddos look so stinkin' cute!

[famousfilmsfan]

Criminal Case. Famousfilms edition.

Case #1. return to Slender

Chapter 1

Chief: Welcome new recruit. I’m Chief Schmidt, and welcome to the Crystal City PD, we got reports of a murder inside the neighborhood of Prepview. Go check it out with James he’ll meet you there

James is a brown haired man with black eyes.

James: Hey there, i’m James, your new partner, Jeeze what the hell happened to this guy?

The victim was a man with black hair and no…eyes. He was wearing a black suit with a yellow tie. His head was swollen and his throat was red, there was an envelope nearby that was open, and a package on the porch.

James: Hmm, okay this is anaphylaxis if I've ever seen it the victim's name is Davis Ramirez . But what's with his face..or lack of one? You think that envelope might be important? Then let's send it to the lab, and that package doesn't have any stamps, must have been hand delivered. Let's check it out

Kat: *panicked* officers thank God!

James: Wow ma’am calm down, this is a crime scene

Kat: And that’s my fiancee in that bag! What the hell happened?!

James: Oh uh, Miss you should stay put so we can question you.

Kat

Kat: What the hell happened? I got a call at work and I come to find this?!

James: Ma’am we’re doing our best to solve this, now did your fiancee have any enemies?

Kat:..none that I knew of.

James: are you sure?

Kat: yes i’m sure!

James: Hmm she isn't telling us the whole truth

The body

Janet: Hey there i’m Janet, the coroner for our precient. And let me tell you, whoever killed this guy really had it out for him.

James: How so?

Janet: Well he died of anaphylaxis due to a peanut allergy he had but there was nothing in his stomach, but there were vapers of it on his face, so he was shot in the face with it. The suddenness made him panic and didn't have time to react.

James: Great the killer didn't even touch the victim, no leads.

Janet: Actually, I got the dust on his face tested, and only one brand uses the exact formula, ‘Jonas Peanut Brittle’

James: So the killer eats peanut brittle, good to know.

(Info; The killer eats peanut brittle.)

The package

James; Okay let's inspect this package. It says it’s from Bryan Deville. What is

He tries to open it but red paint gets splattered all over him and a note is revealed.

James: Ugg, i’m gonna need to change my clothes, wait what's this? ‘Prank’d ya -Bryan’

James: Well, annoying or not this Bryan must have known the victim we should speak with him…after I changed my clothes

The envelope.

John: Hey there rookie, i’m John the forensics expert of the team. Let me tell you this envelope definitely has some surprises

James: Like what?

John; First off I found traces of peanuts in the paper, so it definitely had something to do with the murder, but there was something else. The envelope was purchased at a stationary store at the mall. So the killer had to get it there since they don’t have a website

Chat with Bryan

Bryan: Hello there officers how can I help you?

James: Well you can tell us why you decided to Prank Davis Ramirez with a paint bomb.

Bryan: Oh that, he was retiring from Fazbears so I decided to play a joke on him. Wait did he call the cops on me for a joke? That’s classic him.

James: No sir he was killed earlier today

Bryan: Oh my god. Honestly i’m not surprised

James: Whys that?

Bryan: He wasn't particularly liked in the company, he was a very…critical person, very angry, Pestered everyone about every tiny detail, he even scolded me for the brand of fake snow I used during the holidays. He said a child might eat it. Who would eat fake snow?

James; Anyone you think may have wanted him dead?

Bryan: Not really, it sucks he’s dead though.

The store

James: This place is creepy, where's the attendant? Oh, you found clues? That torn photo looks strangely out of place, and look this rack has the same type of envelope the killer must have taken it from there, let’s see if they left anything behind

The photo

It shows Davis yelling at a black cat animatronic

James: Is it me or is this guy yelling at Charlie the Cat from the Barnyard Bash?

James: Okay, I’m looking on the website it says our victim owned it…wait you want to question the animatronic in the picture? Alright if you think it’s necessary.

The rack

James: Hmm there’s a postcard here, it’s addressed to the victim. ‘Death is something you can’t escape such as death or a cheesecake that has curdled both of which always turn up sooner or later’ what the hell? This is utter nonsense. The part of death seems like a threat, let’s send this card to the lab, our profiler will get to the bottom of it.

Charlie the Cat

James: Okay we’re at the restaurant. Uh. Hello Charlie? Mr…. the cat?

Charlie: Uh, how can I help you?

James: We’ll we’re here because your owner has died.

Charlie: Died?

James: Oh crap you’re a machine, okay death is like when you loose battery but you can’t recharge it and-

Charlie: I know what death is, that’s a stereotype.

James: Oh good that was like the birds and bees talk. Anyway did you have a good relationship with your owner?

Charlie: He was alright I guess, he was here a lot but wasn’t ‘here’ you know, in his own head a lot. Mumbling to himself too, the craziest thing

James: Okay then, uh call the station if you have anything else

You both leave

James: Okay uh. That was super awkward.

The postcard

Russel: Hello there detective I’m Russel the stations profiler, and I must say the postcard is quite interesting the handwriting shows whoever wrote it definitely wanted the victim to know who it was, the bold letters and perfect lining show it’s an educated mind

James: Okay. And what is the quote?

Russel: The quote is from famous children book series. ‘Series of unfortune events’ so your killer definitely reads that good.

James: Good to know.

Info: The killer reads Lemony Snicket.

James *sighs* Okay this whole day has been a mess, a man with no face is killed on his porch, we have a distressed fiancée, a less then upset former coworker, and a robot cat. The only thing we’re missing is a clown and it will be my worst nightmare

James: Yeah your right, we do know the killer eats peanut brittle and reads children’s books, but it could be anybody and-

Chief; James, detective drop what your doing there’s been a break in at the victims home!

(Should I continue this?)

[noneuclideanwhimsy]

I wrote. more.

His hands shook as he dialed up the number Corey had given him. This time she picked up. She sounded a bit tired, but still had a sort of pep to her voice just like last night. Hearing her talk instantly made him knew why Zircon would like her so much.

"Hello?"

Gimothy leaned against the wall, trying hard to keep himself calm.

"Howdy. How are y'all?"

"We're holding up here! Still a bit shaken, and we're still worried about Zircon. Xe doesn't seem to have anything too bad done to them."

Gim didn't mean for his sigh of relief to be so audible.

"Thank the stars. Say, miss, you mind if Raven and I swing on over around two? We'd love to see the whole gang and have a little chit-chat, get to know each other and all."

"Of course! We'd love that. Do you know where to find us?"

"Raven will figure it out, thank you kindly miss. Oh, before I head off, make sure to check xir ankles and back and neck, won'tcha? Raven has some weird metal things there, wouldn't want Zircon to have 'em too."

"Thanks! We'll check that right away. Any way to get them out?"

"Sorry, can't help you there. You can disable em, you just get a magnet real close and it confuses the little buggers. We don't know if they are just for shockin' or for trackin' too. Better to be safe, eh?"

Gim could hear a small sound of distress after he mentioned shocking, but Corey seemed to be able to keep her composure pretty well as the worry only tinger her voice.

"Got it. Thanks for everything, Gimothy. Can't wait to see you!"

"You got it, miss. See ya soon."

Gim hung up and sighed. It was far less painful then he expected, and at least he knew that everyone was safe now. Yeah, he didn't know the rest of the group very well, but anyone important to Zircon was important to him. He was actually pretty excited now that he made the call.

"I am very proud of you, Gimothy."

Raven couldn't work wonders with a brush because her face now looked much less sallow and muspch brighter. She must have polished her mask too, it was glinting in the light.

"Thanks."

She smiled at him, and put her arm around his shoulders.

"Does your accent always get so thick when you're nervous? I've never heard you talk that way."

Gim blushed and looked away, and Raven gently pinched his cheek.

"I am just teasing you. Anyways, shall we bake something to take over?"

"Yeah! We could make peanut butter cookies, those are always good."

"We don't know about allergies. How about jam thumbprints? I know we have jam, and the cookie dough should be simple enough to make."

"We can do that."

They both began scouring the kitchen for what they needed. By some miracle of probably Raven doing their last restock they had everything they needed. She insisted on handwahsing before Gimothy touched anything, and he did with minimal complaints about time and such. She responded by flicking flour in his face. He made sure to leave a big white handprint on her back in retaliation, and so on and so forth until they had two dozen jam thumbprint cookies all ready to go. It did in fact take themtwo hours to bake them all.

AAAAA I LOVE THIS-

You wrote Corey really well!!!<3

[jellibelli123]

If you like me had a lot of shit going on, not much but depressed stuff, to avoid being draining I learned that it's best to intersect those opening up moments with other topics, neutral or positive.

Mostly neutral let's be real. Talk about things you're interested in or found out, find stuff. Avoid politics like the plague, talk about deepdives, biology games, etc especially stuff you know your friends like (prime your friends to talk). Find positive good news, etc.

There's a plentiful amount of strategies to combat both depression and mental illness, some I'll talk about later.

Don't close up bty, you are not barred from opening up with this. All you do is break those moments of opening up with neutral or positive stuff. Recharge your listeners, and you (it will)!

This will improve your mental health, thus compounding the effect.

Incoming deepdive :3

Let's talk about burnout:

Depression is often not alone, often you may just be burnt out or have another mental program or illness your brain is running on.

Often enough, you may just be burnt out.

There are two types of burnout: The neurotypical kind, and the neurodivergent kind. I'll be talking about the latter as I am neurodivergent (Autism, OCD, adhd too (yes this can happen but still testing things out)) but the links I posted can also be helpful to neurotypicals especially the specific video mentioning where you're at on the burnout scale.

When it comes to autistic burnout, you experience a lot of guilt or fear or obsession whenever you rest. A nagging thought in your mind to just do productive somethings, yet your body refuses to budge and often digs its heals in harder.

Everything you've been taught to do just doesn't work.

That's because: you have a brain with a different software built in. You're a Windows computer that's been taught to be a Mac.

So what do you do?: Little Miss Abyss explains it best and has a ton of incredibly helpful videos.

For instagram

For TikTok

Her username is: @little.miss.abyss

She talks about how to regulate, how to get out of burnout, everything absolutely everything on how to exist with a different software :3

Start here for burnout and go up:

TikTok

Instagram

If you have ocd like me:

You experience a lot of intrusive thoughts that often feel like they come outside of yourself or from another person in you.

Trust me, there isn't another person these are coming from NOR is it your own personality and thoughts.

With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, your brain is wired to respond to trauma differently. Frame it as not a person, but an alert mechanism that is false firing over and over.

Now I'm new to this particular disorder, so here's what I've found that helps.

- Frame it as a mechanism that's false firing alerts (The obsessive part). This helps you disassociate from the fear that you are the type of person your intrusive alerts are saying.

- ERP :3 Emotion Response Prevention haha, got ya there didnt I? No? Awh shucks. This is the most effective way of treating OCD so when looking for professional help, seek out someone who specializes in ERP

- There are apps: I've used the free features of NOCD with surprising internal reactions. I have not tried their professional help features, so utilize reddit and tumblr for more information when using DuckDuckGo. (Fuck Googles restrictive algorithms! Especially if you want news that isn't american tailored on the first few pages. 🍉)

And that's all I got the energy to share, plus neurodivergency varies in spiciness so I only wish to be a starting point in order to avoid misinforming.

do you ever get scared that you’re unintentionally toxic or draining to be around, like you’re the bad guy

[saltpepperbeard]

**REWRITE** These Words are a Lie ~A Joshifer Fanfiction~ Chapter Two

A/N: Holy moly does it feel weird to write that title again. But hello everyone! This may seem a bit odd, but trust me, this has been a long time coming. I was super hyped when I published chapter two back in 2015. Over the years however, the chapter has gotten uglier and uglier to me, the characterization/motivation just BEGGING to be fixed. And of course very recently, my writing motivation has returned home from war lol. So naturally, I FINALLY decided to rewrite this chapter as a fun little exercise!

I have to say that I’m much happier with how it turned out. It ended up longer than the original of course; no surprise there lol. But I’m really glad I did this, and I had so much fun diving back into the TWAAL universe again! (And yes the banner got a glow up too lol)

Disclaimer: This chapter contains strong language and explicit sexual content.

The original/old chapter two can be found here [x]

All chapters can be found here [x]

And without further adooooo....

After a plethora of love-soaked reveries and heated dreams, I awake with a start. It takes me a moment to come to terms with where I am, come to terms with reality. The second I do, I’m met with a lifting relief and a crushing sadness.

The clock on the night stand reads 3 AM, and I’m still in my Berlin hotel room, Josh asleep in bed beside me. I’m so happy he’s here. His presence alone takes a giant weight off my shoulders. His presence alone hoists me away from all the bullshit I’ve dealt with for the past few weeks. It reminds me that life is hopefully headed in a simpler, happier direction, one where my ex isn’t constricting me.

Losing Nick however, and having Josh to fill the holes, unfortunately has problems of its own. Looking at him as my best friend, Josh does wonders with making me feel better. He always knows how to make me smile, always knows what to say, and always makes me feel like I’m home. I suppose he’s a little too good at making me feel better, because even to this day, he still surpasses the “best friend” title in my heart.

After everything we’ve been through, after all the twists and turns our lives have taken, I still long for him like nothing else.

The thought is amazing, but so incredibly frustrating.

I’m away from Nick, sure. But I wish I could undo even more. I wish I could go back to our first break up and never look back from then on. I wish I could go back to Hawaii and fully commit to who I’ve deeply loved after all this time.

But I can’t. The damage has been done. And now I’m stuck here in limbo.

A long sigh slips from my nose as I eye Josh in the darkness. Even though he’s turned away from me, he looks absolutely conked out, his body sagging heavily into the mattress. My expression shifts to a sad ghost of a smile as I continue to stare, the dreams picking back up even in my wakeful state.

What would it be like if Josh was lying in bed beside me not as my friend, but as my partner...

What would it be like if Josh and I had spent the night peppering each other with kisses instead of platonic hugs...

What would it be like if Josh and I had fallen deep into each other and fucked the night away...

I sit up a bit more with alarm, almost feeling ashamed of myself for having such a thought cross my brain.

God, I’m such a mess. My emotions and composure are really such a mess.

Any sane woman wouldn’t jump from guy to guy like this. Although, perhaps I never fully “jumped” from the start. Nick and I definitely weren’t in love weeks ago, months ago. Anything we did wasn’t even remotely genuine. What I’m thinking about Josh however...

I bite my lip and decide that a bit of fresh air might do me good. I definitely need to clear my head.

As carefully and quietly as I can manage, I roll out of bed and head out onto the balcony. The cool night air is instantly refreshing, and I greedily inhale deep lungfuls as I attempt to calm myself down. I focus on anything and everything that can distract me from thinking about the man still asleep in my bed. The Berlin traffic down below, the gentle whisper of a breeze in my ears, the sound of the sliding door opening behind me...

A bolt goes up my spine, followed by a slight sense of dread. Guess distracting myself isn’t in the cards for tonight.

Another sigh huffs from my nose, and I pivot to see a very sleepy Josh, still rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes as he steps on to the balcony with me.

“Hey...” he murmurs, his voice thick and raspy.

“Hey...” I whisper back.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, moving to stand by my side.

I chew my lip nervously, avoiding both his gaze and question as I turn to look over the city below.

“Just couldn’t...sleep I guess.”

Josh seems to consider this, a slight silence following my answer, before he continues.

“A lot on your mind still?”

“You have no idea...”

Another pause. And consequently, without either of us saying anything, my thoughts begin to whirl.

God, I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him everything, tell him the truth. I wish I could be perfectly open and honest with my feelings, and have everything work out just the way I want it to.

But I’m stuck. I’m trapped. And there’s no telling when things will come out.

I grasp the edge of the balcony, the metal cool against my fingers. Just when I’m about to truly spiral, a gentle hand against my back shifts things, if only for a moment. Josh rubbing soft circles silently comforts me, but then sends my thoughts reeling once more.

He’s such a great friend.

He’s such an amazing person.

He’s an absolutely perfect man.

God, I love him so much.

My grip turns so hard that my knuckles begin to white out, tears threatening to build in my eyes. I must tense up as well, because the hand against my back slows to a halt.

“You okay?”

I nod, but the moisture I was fighting to keep away ends up pooling in my vision.

“Jen...” Josh murmurs, his tone a bit more solemn.

Just like earlier, just like when he came into my room, he breaches the barrier of my composure. Because when I turn to look at him and open my mouth, all that comes out is a sob, followed by streams of tears.

This time though, he doesn’t say anything. His face falls, his mouth setting into a tight line, before he simply holds his arms out for me to fill. I do so without question.

He holds me tightly as I cry for everything I’ve lost, everything that could have been. Though I’m so incredibly fortunate to have him in my life, call me selfish, but I want more. I want all that he is.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he murmurs, breaking me out of my thoughts, “Everything will be alright, Jen...It’ll get better...”

I could cringe at those words, giving a few more sobs into his shoulder.

“I just want everything to be...simple for once, you know? I want everything to just...fall into place...”

He lets out a sigh against me, nuzzling his head against mine. He allows me more time to cry, more time to get my more extreme emotions out, before I can practically feel his demeanor change. He perks up a bit, his entire form running warm and sunny against my stormy attitude. When he leans back a bit, I cannot help but follow, pulling away a tad to catch his eye.

“Well,” he starts, and I cannot help but notice the twinkle in his gaze, “I don’t know if I can mess with how your life unfolds. Manipulating time and space wasn’t included in acting training.”

Despite my tears, I let out a snort, one that’s enough to bring out the crooked grin I’ve fallen in love with over the years.

“But I can however, at least try and make things a bit better tonight?”

He then reaches up with a hand to brush a few of my tears away, his thumb gently swiping across my cheek. It’s enough to bring my smile back, which only intensifies his.

“So since we’re already up, how about weeee order some food and drinks through room service, put on a shitty movie, and...stay up until things fall more into place?”

I laugh despite myself, despite everything still circulating around through my head.

“You’re an idiot, Joshy...It’s three in the morning...”

“I didn’t hear an answer,” he chuckles.

I give a shaky inhale, contemplating if it’s wise to interact with him more in such a state. But who knows; it might be beneficial to spend the night with him as a friend, and break myself out of the thirsting cycle I’ve got going on.

Anything’s better than lying awake trapped in my thoughts anyway.

So pushing my hesitance aside, I sniffle and return his smile.

“Yeah...Let’s do that.”

xXx

We go back into the room, and it isn’t long before we’re surrounded by various forms of alcohol, munchies, and movies. I’m quick to turn to drinks to numb myself, to white out my mind, getting buzzed faster than I planned to. While he initially gives me shit for using alcohol to cope, teasingly calling me Haymitch and what not, it doesn’t take Josh long to follow.

We laugh and talk, eat and drink, attempting to pay attention to the chosen movies as much as possible but barely doing so. The entertainment is more between us, a stream of drunken jokes and jabs pouring out of us.

It’s just what the doctor ordered, spending time with him like this. It’s just the two of us acting like idiots in their twenties. It puts me in my place.

Three turns to four, and four turns into five. Though the booze continues to run rampant in our systems, we begin to wind down a bit, flopping against the bed and trying to focus more on the television.

And just like usual, the whole friendship element begins to chip away, something far stronger attempting to win me over. Just when I happen to be at my utmost weakest as well.

In my state of growing mental and physical exhaustion, I find myself laying against Josh, my arm thrown messily across his chest and my head atop his shoulder. He holds me in a loose embrace, the two of us quieting down as we try our best to watch whatever’s on the TV.

“I needed this...” I murmur after a bit of a pause.

“I know you did. How are you feeling?”

“Reaaaaaallly good,” I reply, my voice clearly coated with liquor.

Josh snorts, before laughing a bit at my intoxicated state.

“Glad to hear it. Sorry if you wake up with a headache tomorrow, though,” he chuckles.

“Whatever. I was probably going to have one anyway.”

He chuckles a bit again, before snuggling closer and starting to rub my back once more. I let out a long breath and relax even further against him, getting lost in his touch and comfort.

A bit too lost I suppose, because before I can even process what I’m doing, I press a soft kiss to his chest, my lips brushing against his skin. It’s a silent thanks for everything. It’s a hint of my longing towards him. It’s definitely not how two friends should be acting.

My logic eventually catches back up, and a bolt of fear runs down my spine. God dammit, I’m slipping. I’m slipping something terrible. I can feel the alcohol washing away any and all self-control I may have. I can’t fuck things up for us. Not again. No matter how much I may want to, he’s my friend. He’s...

My argumentative thoughts are cut short by Josh’s hand stilling on my back. I hold my breath, wincing as I prepare for him to question my motives. Oddly enough, he does the exact opposite of what I expect; he leans down and presses a gentle kiss against my temple.

God, I love it. It sets me completely alight, warmth shooting from where his lips touched my skin to every nook and cranny of my body.

Josh and I have always been a bit more physically affectionate with each other. Platonic kisses have never really been out of the question. But with my current circumstances, in my current state of mind, a simple kiss takes me to a whole different state of being.

It rekindles my romantic thoughts. It makes me want to kiss him until the sun comes up, until the liquor runs dry. It makes me want to get locked in his embrace and never come out. It makes me want to smother him with all the pent up love I’ve been accumulating over the past few months, past few years.

And of course with love, stronger, more salacious thoughts are quick to follow...

My breath catches, soft shivers beginning to course through me. It’s like I physically have to hold myself back from falling victim and completely ravishing him. I have to aggressively restrain my impulsive side, my eager side, and hold on desperately to my more logical, calm thoughts.

But as the warmth spreads, it gets harder, and harder, and harder, and harder.

I have to come up for air, pushing myself up off of Josh and sitting beside him instead. I avoid his gaze for a moment, attempting to reign myself back in with deep, collected breaths. I’m almost about to leap off the bed and take some time to myself, to ensure I don’t do anything stupid.

When I chance a glance at Josh however, when blue looks into warm, wonderful hazel, I lose it. I lose everything.

His stare appears to be soft, loving, curious. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say his pupils are quite enlarged, like he’s gazing upon me with the same desires...

I shut my eyes, trying so hard to hang on to whatever composure I have left. But I can still see him behind shut eyelids, and so I feel the last bit of willpower crack into pieces, a subsequent twitch rolling through me.

My breaths turn shaky, and I open my eyes so I can reach forward and cup Josh’s jaw, desperately begging him to help set me straight.

But he doesn’t. I don’t see any hint of confusion, disgust, or any other negative emotions really. He just continues to look at me with those enticing, handsome eyes of his.

“Fuck...”

My whisper comes out slightly pained, slightly ashamed. That doesn’t stop me from leaning forward though, everything directing me to get what I want.

“Fuck, Josh...” I whimper, almost in a sort of messed up apology before I pounce.

And pounce I do.

It’s like time skips forward; maybe we do have the ability to manipulate it after all. Because in one second, I’m still hesitating, and in the next, I’m crushing my lips to the mouth of the man I truly desire.

It’s heaven. It’s everything. I haven’t kissed him this way in so long. All of our more recent kisses have been for the cameras. I haven’t had him all to myself like this in what seems like an eternity.

It’s almost like my lips were made for his, gliding and sliding perfectly through them. His lips and stubble provide a wonderful mixture of velvety soft and scratchy gruffness that I grow all the more lightheaded, all the more eager to drink him in.

As I greedily kiss him however, as I suck and smack and coax, he doesn’t appear to be doing the same. And when I realize my actions aren’t being reciprocated, I snap a bit more to my senses, a slew of worry flowing through me.

He doesn’t want it. I was just convincing myself otherwise. I threw myself onto him without him feeling the same way. The alcohol painted lies and fed me with false hope.

I almost start to panic, and though it pains me to do so, I start to lean away to break our beautiful connection. Josh has always been one for surprises though; instead of letting me go, he finally comes to and chases after my mouth.

I could almost cry from his silent permission, the kiss entirely mutual now. And so I eagerly hop right back in, gaping against him and hoping he follows my lead. He does, joining me in the lascivious, messy, amazing kiss.

Our lips meet and clash in a continuous stream, like we’re just as desperate to get that forbidden taste from each other. When his hands reach up to frame my face, tugging me even closer to him, I cannot help myself; I begin to moan and whimper through each advance.

It was stupid to think that I would be satisfied by just a good make out session alone. Because sure enough, the deeper and deeper we kiss, the hungrier and hungrier I get. I quickly start to crave more, quickly start to want to connect with Josh in every way, shape, and form.

God, if I could fully have him tonight...

Caught up in the moment, in my emotions, in my intoxication, I need him. I need a taste of what could have been. I want to experience this with him before it’s all ripped away again; the universe never seems to bring us properly together.

So naturally, stubbornly, I want to take advantage of what’s happening here and now. I want to go through with what we’re both feeling.

Though every part of me is already on fire, my pelvis completely goes ablaze, raging the strongest of all. It practically takes hold of the rest of my body, leading me to climb onto Josh’s lap, straddling him as our kiss continues. He groans as I do so, but suddenly, he begins to slow down, not returning my advances as much.

“Josh...” I whimper against his mouth, breaking our seal to pepper his jawline with kisses and nips.

Again, he vocalizes, letting out a heavy sigh. But he doesn’t chase after me like I thought. He seems to still even more.

“Josh, I want you...” I whisper into his skin, solidifying my desires.

Another heavy sigh puffs from his lungs, and his hands creep up to my shoulders, pushing me slightly.

“I...I can’t...” he heaves.

My heart flips within my chest, and I quickly go back to kissing him, attempting to rekindle his spark.

“Shhh, you can...” I murmur into him.

“Jen...”

Now he chooses to be persistent. Now he chooses to stop us. He gives my shoulders a harder push, guiding me off his lap and onto the bed again. When I look into his eyes, I see the same pain, the same look of attempted self control, that I was showcasing earlier.

“No...We have to stop.”

I open my mouth to argue back, before floundering and biting my lip instead.

“It’s not a good time right now,” he continues, panting softly.

“Josh...” I start, stubbornly trying to keep things going, despite being well aware of the consequences, “There’d be no repercussions, no problems. And definitely no regrets from my end.”

“I’ve heard that before...”

My heart sinks into my stomach, his words transporting me back to years prior. When we were crazy for one another. When things were just as complicated. When we fell victim to such deep intimacy that we came out hurt on the other end.

A slight glaze of tears well up in my eyes. I just want him without problems. I want him freely. I want him without having to worry about a care in the world.

“Josh...Please, I...”

“Jen,” he starts again, cutting me off, “You’re not in a good head space right now. You need some time to process everything. I think we both do. So how about we just...take it down a few notches?”

I let out a shivering sigh, looking down and preparing to accept defeat. It’s at that moment though, that I notice a very telltale sign of arousal. There’s an unmistakable, definitely difficult to ignore bulge in Josh’s pants, the fabric practically tenting with his erection. I bite my lip, feeling myself clench down below. Josh must follow my gaze and read my thoughts, because I hear him inhale so sharply that it could cut right through the sexual tension.

Slowly, my eyes travel back up to meet his, the air growing hotter and hotter between us. We share a simmering stare, our eyes both swirling with dark lust. But Josh somehow manages to cut it off, closing his eyes and swallowing hard.

“No...” he groans, slightly shaking his head, “No...”

And proving that he’s the stronger-willed individual, he pushes himself off the bed, grasping the back of his neck as he begins to walk away.

“I just...Give me some time alone, okay?”

With that, he departs towards the balcony, leaving me alone, frustrated, and increasingly ashamed of myself.

“I’m...I’m sorry,” I attempt to say to him, but my voice comes out in a barely audible whisper.

I feel crushed. I feel sad all over again. It’s like a painful reminder that Josh and I will never be, were never meant to be together.

Before I can feel too sorry for myself and break down completely, I decide to go into the bathroom and shower. I feel like I need to wash all of this, wash all of my emotion, completely away. And I’m sure the warm water will feel soothing in Josh’s cold absence.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door, not bothering to lock it behind me. I’m sure Josh will leave once he collects himself anyway. I strip away all my clothing, and pause for a moment to grasp the counter, eyeing myself down in the mirror.

My appearance matches what I’m feeling inside; disheveled, chaotic, and upset. I blow out a long breath and hang my head, cursing at how everything currently is. But I can’t control anything. I can’t do anything about it. So after a moment, I simply prepare myself to step into the shower. A distant call of my name freezes me solid.

“Jen?”

I can’t bring myself to answer him. I fear what follows will be something along the lines of “I’m leaving for the night.” And I can’t have that. I don’t want him to go. I refuse to believe I’ve messed up things further. I can’t.

My name leaving his lips draws closer, and closer. Even when he’s right outside the door, I bite my lip, unable to find the strength to reply. But to my surprise, he barges into the bathroom without caution, practically throwing himself into the room.

“J-...Oh, fuck...”

I can practically feel his stare, his eyes leaving small fires as he flits them over my bare form. Without the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment, I turn to face him, perhaps even flaunting my body a tad. And I find a very frustrated, very handsome, very hard Josh in the doorway.

I watch him curiously, and admittedly delight, as the last bits of his composure come crashing down. He practically falls against the wall, nostrils flaring, eyes squeezing, biting the back of his hand as he fights to the end. I can hear him groaning and letting out a slew of expletives, my heart speeding up as I watch. I reach out with my mind and figuratively wrap my flames around him, enticing him to come back on the same plane of passion.

“You...You drive me insane, you know that?” he grumbles against his skin.

“I know.”

He lets out a series of sharp breaths, before he finally makes eye contact again; but not without giving my nakedness another sweep.

“Dammit,” he whispers, “...No repercussions?”

My heart flips within me, practically skipping beats at his question. We’re so close to having each other. So so close.

“No repercussions,” I breathe, “I promise.”

“This is stupid...”

“Probably.”

He gives me one last look, and then I visibly see the final walls come down, his body slacking as he gives in to his wants a well.

“Fuck it; c’mere, Jen...”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

I skate across the tile, my feet barely touching the floor as I rush to him. And in seconds, I’m eagerly pressing my body into his, locking us into another kiss. He moans and I capture it, before sending the noise back, mewling my utmost need. Having him like this, kissing him so deeply, feeling his erection pressing into me...

I instantly go lightheaded with lust, my body and mind a bursting firework of emotion and feeling.

He must want this as much as I do, because without really giving us time to kiss, he’s leading me backwards and out of the bathroom. I eagerly chase after him, continuing to claim his mouth as we go along, excitement and anticipation rushing through my veins.

We quickly weave back into the bedroom, and the moment we reach the bed, he pivots me so I’m poised against the edge, sitting against it. I’m immediately on the same page as him, and spread my legs wide open with a sigh, welcoming him to be as close as humanly possible. The air quickly perfumes with my scent, and I watch as his eyes roll, taking every bit of me in.

He takes my invitation and steps up between my legs, fiddling with his drawstring pants. In his desperation, our desperation, he pushes both his pants and boxers down just enough to allow his length to spring out.

I take a moment to appreciate him, sighing and smiling at how large he is, at how ready he is for me.

He returns the expression, grinning crookedly, dirtily. I watch with interest and admiration as he takes himself in a hand, pumping a few times with subsequent grunts from his throat. I take my bottom lip into my mouth, before brazenly taking him as well, wrapping my fingers around his length. He lets out a hissing noise through his teeth, which shifts into a groan as I tug him forwards, leading him to my entrance.

I rub his head through my damp, swollen folds, shutting my eyes and savoring the feeling. We both let out moans and gasps, before Josh takes over, giving a small thrust of his hips and nestling the tip of his erection into my depths.

“You want this?” he growls, “You really want-”

“Don’t talk; just fuck me,” I breathe, wrapping a hand around his neck and pressing him to get on with it.

A visible shudder rolls down his form, his eyes rolling slightly once more. When he doesn’t immediately take me, I give the situation more fuel by adding, “...Hard.”

And with that, he brazenly latches his mouth to my neck, and sheathes himself deep inside me with a strong, fluid thrust.

Instantly, I see stars. Just from his entrance alone, I already want to scream in pleasure, my body completely at his mercy. It is absolutely astounding, the difference it makes when I’m experiencing this with a man I truly adore. After years of waiting, years of wanting, it feels like nothing else I’ve experienced before.

Josh goes through with my request. He doesn’t give me time to process things. Right after his initial thrust, he takes me carnally, driving his pelvis into mine again and again. We both sing out our pleasures, utterly delirious with the feelings we’re granting each other. He stretches and pounds me perfectly, and I swallow him up and clench around him with equal precision.

It feels right. It feels so right. It’s like each thrust erases reality away, hoisting me to a place where it’s just Josh and I. It’s like each movement deep within is Josh taking me back, claiming me as his once more. It’s like each hard shove of his length slowly turns the tables back to Hawaii, erasing every trace of my ex and going back to a time where Josh was my only focus.

It’s extraordinary. It’s everything I’ve wanted for the longest time. I could live in it forever.

“Mmmm fuck,” Josh’s pleasured grunt sounds, breaking me out of my trance, “God, Jen...”

“Don’t stop...” I croon back in return, holding on to his neck and riding the force of his movements, “Oh God, Josh...Please don’t stop...”

He certainly doesn’t. If anything, he intensifies his thrusts even more, driving into me so hard that I’m forced to fall back against the mattress. He reaches down to hoist my legs up, grasping my hips to give himself more leverage as he continues his wonderful assault.

I’m writhing and screaming and tossing my head, completely lost in the pleasure he’s giving me. It must be equally as good for him, because he’s far more vocal than I remember, grunting and moaning and yelling my name.

I can feel my release approaching quickly, and for the first time, I don’t want it to hit. I want to prolong this moment as long as I can. I want to have him this close, inside and out, for the rest of my days. But unfortunately, our bodies dominate our minds, racing to orgasm even if we don’t want them to.

When I feel myself beginning to tense, I almost try to fight against it. When I feel Josh’s fingers atop my clit, coaxing me to race ahead of him, I almost want to slap his hand away. But damn if it doesn’t feel divine, his body working me straight to my glorious finish.

I’m overrun with pleasure so intense that I’m surprised my keens don’t break the lights. My entire body explodes with sparks and fire, shooting up from where Josh is touching me to every ounce of my being. My vision whites out, and for a moment, I really do feel like I’ve entered heaven.

But Josh is quick to ground me, just as he always does. I come back just in time to hear his final, cracking yell, before he shoves deep inside me and lets out numerous spurts of his release.

I lay on the bed in a wondrous daze, clenching tightly and swallowing up every last bit of him, like I’m fighting to keep a piece of him forever.

Completely satisfied, completely satiated, and completely exhausted, my eyes droop as the room fades from existence, practically floating on cloud nine. I don’t have the strength to stop Josh from slipping out of me, but he’s quick to fill the gap by flopping down on the bed beside me.

The two of us simply lay drunkenly together in post-coital bliss, the once chaotic room only filled with our quieting pants now.

I don’t think too hard about what we just did. I don’t take anything into consideration. I simply enjoy the moment, appreciating it for what it is.

When Josh crawls further up the bed to rest near the pillows, I lazily follow, nestling my bare, full body against him. He flops an arm atop me, and the moment I snuggle into his chest, it’s no surprise that a much needed slumber overtakes me, falling into a perfectly content rest filled with nothing but the man of my dreams.

xXx

Though I do indeed awake to a rather nasty headache the following, my body feels lighter than the pillows behind my head. I let out a long and content sigh, stretching my limbs and enjoying the warmth still radiating out to my extremities. What happened just hours before still feels like a dream to me, reality not fully sinking back in yet. Still halfway locked in my reveries, I reach out to caress the man beside me, hungering to continue and to never wake up from this.

But when my fingers dust across an empty, cold mattress, I do.

I snap awake, sitting bolt upright in bed. And when the sheets fall off my form, revealing my still-naked body, reality hits with an excruciating force.

Josh is gone.

Josh and I had sex last night.

Oh God.

Anxiety and dismay are both quick to set in. Though I vaguely remember us promising each other that there would be no repercussions, we were obviously too out of our heads to fully commit. Because we’re best friends. Two best friends who are still pretty much linked to other relationships. Two best friends who have been cut deeply by this same thing before.

Oh God.

I wanted it so bad. I wanted him so bad. And as messed up as I was last night, there was no stopping it. I hungered for that little taste of him like nothing else. But for what? Messing us up again? Messing him up?

Shame pours through my veins in droves, manifesting as tears that are quick to coat my vision.

“J-Josh...” I whimper out, praying that he’s in one of the other rooms, that he’ll reply to my call.

My suite is just as empty as my bed.

Moisture pours down my cheeks as I throw myself out of bed, slipping on a robe and searching around. My heart sinks further and further into my stomach the longer and longer I search, the hotel room feeling very much vacated. But as I pass by the window, I catch a glimpse that sends a sob of relief from my throat.

Slowly, cautiously, I open the sliding glass door and step out onto the balcony, next to a rather pensive-looking Josh. Though I’m so glad he didn’t leave, I can’t bear to look at him. I’m feeling increasingly guilty, all the memories and visions of last night pouring in one by one. It was mutual, yes, but I was the one who initiated it, the one who pushed it.

I can feel his eyes on me, his stare forcing more tears out of my own. He continues to look at me, and I know I have to say something. I know I have to apologize.

“We...We shouldn’t have done that...”

I hear his intake of breath, and still feel him staring, so I’m quick to continue, “I mean...I shouldn’t have done that...It was all my fault, Josh, I’m sorry...”

I wait for him to step in with his two cents. I wait for him to chip in with his eloquence and maturity. When I’m left with silence however, I cannot help but sob.

“Josh, I’m...sorry...I was way too worked up last night and....it just...got to me.”

More silence. I’m starting to think nothing I say will come even close to fixing the situation.

“Can...Can we just forget this ever happened?...Please?”

He lets out a long sigh, and finally speaks up, his voice hoarse and low.

“I think that’s easier said than done...”

My composure, as fragile as it’s been over the past couple of days, snaps right in half once more. My sobs pick up, audible hiccuping-noises sounding from my throat and visible shudders rolling down my body. Though my eyes are now shut from the force of my cries, I can practically feel Josh deflate beside me.

“Jen...”

I don’t look at him. I don’t move. A pair of gentle, warm hands on my shoulders however, coax me to do so, beckoning me into my favorite embrace. I’m still devastated, surely, but I feel immensely better that he’s hugging me. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and bury my face into his collar, continuing my weeps and never wanting to let go. To my utmost relief, he holds me back just as firmly, his hands rubbing soft circles against my back.

“I...I didn’t want to...” I hiccup into him.

“Didn’t want to what?”

“I didn’t want to...fuck things up again...for us...I was so...fucking stupid...I’m sorry...”

“You’re...”

I hold my breath as he inhales deeply and lets it out with another long sigh.

“You’re not stupid,” he murmurs, “I acted out of impulse too. I mean, I think it was pretty obvious that I was caught up in the moment as well. So we’re both guilty in that respect.”

My heart flutters a tad at his words, a hint of comfort trickling back in. Anxiety is still in the lead however, making my arms wrap even tighter around him, locking him into my embrace.

“Please don’t leave me...” I moan.

I feel his breath catch, before he hugs me closer as well.

“I’m not going to leave you...”

A particularly sharp sob sounds from me, and I feel one of Josh’s hands venture up to cup the back of my head, cradling me and rubbing his fingers soothingly against my scalp.

“Jen, I’m not going to leave you,” he murmurs firmly, “I promise.”

His words flood me his warmth once more, and I feel my sobs letting up a tad. I snuggle closer into him, nestling my face against his skin.

“I mean,” he starts with huff of laughter through his nose, “What’s a drunken fuck between two friends?”

I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, shaking my head at the both of us.

“God, Josh...Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

“Yeah, but I guess we’ve never been ones for being normal,” he huffs again, before his voice takes a more serious tone, “And it’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

I let out another puff of mirth, but my heart sinks again as his last words do. I chew my lip for a moment, before leaning back in his arms, meeting his eyes for the first time this morning. When I’m met with the usual gentleness, the usual warmth swirling around his hazel depths, I gain the strength to continue.

“You’re more to me than just...a rebound, by the way...”

His eyes search through mine, blue and hazel silently communicating.

“I didn’t just jump on you to forget Nick...There was more to it than that...I just...”

The truth poises itself on my tongue. The need to admit my true feelings wells up dangerously in my chest. But as per usual, it all crashes, my body deflating as the truth blips away once again.

“I don’t know...”

“Regardless of why it happened, what’s done is done,” he says, still continuing to rub my back, “So how about we just...try and look past this?”

I can feel my heart crack a tad at the missed opportunity. Another chance to be with Josh, gone, obliterated. But inwardly I know he’s right. Inwardly, I know we have to, for the sake of our friendship at least.

“It’s going to be weird...”

“Maybe at first,” he agrees, before I see that teasing glimmer in his eye, “I mean after all, I’ve seen my ‘annoying sister’ naked. And we ended up doing it. Pretty hard to look past that.”

“Josh!” I gasp, rolling my eyes with a groan that eventually shifts into a few huffy rounds of laughter, “Oh God...Why’d you have to bring up the fucking annoying sister thing again...I hate that. And you just made things worse.”

“No I didn’t!” he chuckles, “We’re from Kentucky. Totally normal.”

“Jesus,” I laugh, “You’re awful.”

We both laugh together, chasing the anxiety within away. It comforts me immensely that we’re still able to banter as we do, even after such a life-changing incident.

When we quiet down, smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes again, I have to proclaim at least something.

“You mean a lot to me, Joshy...”

His stare softens, his smile turning solemn and gentle.

“You mean a lot to me, too. There was no way in hell I was going to throw you away over a slip up.”

My smile must fade a tad, because he’s quick to add, “A mutual slip up.”

Tears well up in my eyes again, but they’re happier, relieved. Even though yes, I am still worried about the future, worried about if this will end up impacting us in any way, it comforts me tremendously to know that Josh is still by my side.

“Thank you...” I whisper, throwing myself back into his arms.

“You’re welcome...”

He inhales as if he’s going to continue, but instead settles on hugging me back in return.

I don’t think much of it, simply glad that we’re okay, that nothing erupted from our impulsive act of passion. As I continue to embrace him under the light of the rising sun, bathing in warmth and contentedness, I can finally feel myself starting to relax.

I guess things will be okay after all.

[icy-watch]

From @just-a-randomperson

#thats Agent Walker to you

From @frostsstuff

#AHHHHHHHHHHH-

From @zeeboomblebee

#WOOOOO

From @penofwildfire

#JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#AGENT WALKER BABEYYYYYYYYYY

From @fantaghoul

#who is this Jay you're talking about?#this is Agent Walker

From @boundlessjoyreblogs

#JAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!#SFYKSTISSTIGJS#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---#*combusts*

From @pandemonium-kidz

#Hey Jay; how's going?#Also that's clearly Agent Walker#Idk who is this Jay ur talking about#Finally tho; i've been waiting for you to reach this part lmao

From @lady-gravity-129

#HI JAY!!!#see he’s doing fine#ANYWAYS#THE MANNNNN

From @psychologicalwarclaire

#THERE HE IS#MY BOY#Jay jumpscare#he's amazing#poor adhd guy in the absolute worst place go be#i love him#jay in a suit

From @c-r-ash-crash

#The boy!!!!!!!#When I tell you I went feral at his appearance#Uggggghhhhh I can't wait to see more of him

From @peanut-with-wifi-access

#𝙅𝘼𝙔 𝙒𝘼𝙇𝙆𝙀𝙍!!!!!!#hey man what's up?#how's the new job treatin' ya?

From @nyaskitten

#jay!

From @toastingpencils37

#JAY!!!

From @omgjayaaa

#JAYYYYY

From @officercooks

#jay!!#the guy!

From @stellarxjewels

#heh

From @nokkomo

#JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

From @kis5ki5skai

#the wife 😍

From @user-without-a-cool-acronym

#JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY#I mean#Agent walker#HE IS BACK#VEHMTUJRTBTHJBJCF FGBECERHNZN

#JAY/AGENT WALKER/BASTARD JAY MY BELOVED

From @spinjitsuburst

#YAAAAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYA#i screamed. SO loud. watching this for the first time HSKDHDKDH

From @rainofthetwilight

#JAY JAY JAY#JAY WALKER!!!!!!!!!!#UAGSHDHSHDHAJDVABDHAJSJ#HERE HE COMES FOLKS#I SWEAR I WAS LITERALLY LIKE#MOVING SO MUCH ON MY SEAT#I WAS GOING CRAZY LMAO#AGENT JAY WALKER!!!!!!!!!#THESE 30 SECONDS HAD YHE ENTIRE FANDOM IN A FRENZY#LIKE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#THE AMOUNT OF SUIT JAY ARTS ABD POSTS WAS INSANE

From @lori-the-dragon-ninja

#i think you mean agent walker

From @s0ull3ss-p3rs0n

#HEEEEESSSSS BAAAAAACCCCKKKKK#JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY#MY BELOVED JAY

From @helpmyinterestsareverywhere

#THERE HE IS!!!#WE'VE FOUND HIM - HES BACK#JAY I'VE MISSED YOU#screamed at this when i watched it for the first time 👍

From @little-nightfury17

#tada!!!!

Jay?

J-Jay?!?!

JAY!!!!

[mytheoristavenue]

sundrop x single mom reader headcanons??

FNAF SB Sundrop x single mom!Reader HCs

Hey, of course, thanks for the ask!

-Bashful at first. The first time you met Sunny, you were dropping your four year old son off at the daycare on the way to work. You had been in a rush that day, having been late, due to your son not wanting to get dressed. You burst into the daycare, ready to hand off your child, instantly being greeted by Sunny. He tried to greet you as best he could, but you cut him off, rambling about (S/N)'s allergies, upsets, and comforts, and that you'd be back to pick him up around three. Sunny was instantly taken by you, speachless as you continued a flustered ramble. Finally, you kissed your child's forehead, and tore out of the Pizzaplex at light speed.

"Hello, how are you new frien-?"

"I'm so sorry sir, I have to go, my name is (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), this is my son, (S/N), here's my drop off ticket, okay, he's got this weird thing with velvet, so if he touches it, he'll cry, but just pat his back and he should calm down, he has caps on his teeth, so please no sweets, oh and he's allergic to peanuts, okay, I gotta go, I'll be back around three. (S/N) be good, okay, bye!"

-He asks your son about you. After you left, and Sunny had (S/N) settled into the daycare, he found a chance to ask him about you while they were coloring pictures. Your son told Sunny that you like flowers and the smell of vanilla, and went back to drawing a crude representation of the bot looking after him.

"So, friend, your mom, what kinds of things does she like?"

"Hmmm, well she really likes flowers, and she likes to smell like vanilla, so that, I guess?"

-He began making crafts for you. That day, when you came to pick up (S/N) from the daycare, you entered the doors, dragging yourself as you went, exhausted. You were suprised to find your son running up to you, dragging Sunny by his index figer, with the biggest grin you'd ever seen on his face. He explained to you that he and Sunny had made you a boquet of multicolored chrysanthimums out of tissue paper and pipe cleaners. Your child eagarly showed the bunch into your arms, encouraging you to smell them. To your suprise they smelled like vanilla. When you asked, he told you that Sunny had had the idea to place scratch and sniff stickes in the middle of each flower to make them smell nice. You were so flattered, blushing a bit with a wide smile.

"Well, Mr. Sundrop, that is very sweet of you. Thank you."

"O-Oh, you're very welcome miss! Heh Heh."

-He becomes sweet on you. After that first day, Sunny became more and more infatuated with you, memorizing the exact minute that you usually came in to drop (S/N) off, and waiting by the door. Sometimes, he even had a muffin or something of the like waiting for you, knowing you tended to not eat in the mornings for fear of running late. He gathered information about you daily from your son and added it to his priority database, feeling as if any detail about you was of the upmost importance.

"Goood morning, Miss (Y/N)! I've got a blueberry muffin with your name on it! How was your morning?"

-(S/N) becomes his favorite charge. As Sunny's feelings for you developed, so did his for your son, He came to love having your son in the daycare, adoring the time they got so spend together. They'd spend hours at the crafts table drawing pictures for you or making other small keepsakes to hang on your refridgerator. You were also aware of how fond (S/N) was of Sunny. He adored the daycare attendent, constantly talking about him at home, and begging for any merch with Sunny's face on it. He even gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he left, and when he arrived every single day.

"Bye, Sunny! I love you!"

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Shining Star! I love you too!"

-Eventually, (S/N) starts calling Sunny 'Dad'. It was shocking at first, and even bothered you a little. Your ex husband had been asent most of his life, but he was still there on occassion. You later got passed your hang ups about it, even referring to Sunny as his 'dad', and his biological dad his 'father' to avoid comfusion. After all, Sunny adored, (S/N), so who were you to take away something that made oyur child so happy?

"Come on, sweetheart, let's get going so you can go see your dad."

-Sunny asks you to marry him. It was jarring yes, and of course, you declined. Not only for the fact that he was a robot, and you legally oculdn't marry him, but also for the fact that you hadn't been dating. Sunny reasoned that you both should just get married so the three of you could be a real family, you the mom, him the dad, and (S/N) the child. You had to admit, it was very sweet. Finally, you caved, suggesting that you both try dating, and then see what happens.

"Miss, (Y/N), good morning, will you marry me?"

"Say yes, Mom, say yes!"

"What? No! Sunny, we've never even been on a date, we can't get married!"

"But if we get married, we'll be a family!"

"You silly, we can still be a family without being married!"

"We can?!"

*Sigh* "Why don't I try being your girlfriend before I become your wife?"

"Deal!"

[crossbowking]

Life Before You

Summary: (Set mid-season 6) A quiet night between the archer and reader.

A/N: OKAY, HELLO, MY DARLINGS. It's literally been two months since I've posted a one-shot so here's a short, random, little one that popped into my head because I like to project my feelings and deepest desires onto fictional characters, BOO YAAAAA.

Oh, and it's Daryl POV :)

Thank you all for being so patient and understanding with my absence - I'm hoping to post more frequently now that life has calmed for the time being. I'm still feeling a little rusty so please bear with me as I get my footing back!

(Also, if you were the anonymous person who donated to my Kofi this morning...please, let me know! I'd love to thank you personally because what the heck, that was so kind of you!)

Okay, happy reading! As always, I'd love to hear any feedback :)

xx Jess

Masterlist

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“What’d you miss most?”

The question caught Daryl off guard, the silence that’d lingered having almost lulled him to sleep. He craned his neck, looking over at you then — you were laying on your side, one arm tucked beneath your pillow, covers drawn to your chin, your features softening as you stared at him.

He swallowed the lump that grew in his throat. “What’d ya mean?” he grunted in response, brow furrowing as he propped one arm behind his head, the other draped over his midsection.

“You know,” you urged, the corner of your mouth lifting as you nestled a little bit deeper into the bed. “From before.”

Daryl pressed his lips together, turning his attention upwards, watching the moonlight pouring in through the window dance against the ceiling. “I dunno,” he finally mustered. “World’s always been kinda a shithole if ya ask me.”

You snorted a soft laugh and the archer found his eyes flickering towards you once more, something in chest tightening at the sound. He tugged at the sheet pooled around his waist, drawing it further up his body — like some deep-rooted subconscious part of himself needed to shield, to protect himself from the strange feelings you seemed to so effortlessly evoke in him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you shrugged, unaware of the effect you had on the man. “I miss going to the movies,” you continued then, pushing up onto your elbow. “There was this local theater down the block from where I used to live — it was a small town, so they never played any big-name movies, you know? They played the classics — Jaws, Exorcist, When Harry Met Sally,” you waggled your eyebrows and the archer scoffed a breath.

You grinned before continuing. “Oh, and they also served alcohol — which was super cool — so every weekend, I’d go get a beer and a bucket of popcorn and some peanut M&M’s and — and God, it was just the best.”

Daryl couldn’t help the sort of nostalgic pull he felt as he looked at you — like he was getting a glimpse of who you were back when life was different, back when the dead stayed dead.

He made a mental note to search for peanut M&M’s the next time he went on a supply run.

But then, your smile dimmed, a familiar hollowness slipping back into place, shattering the moment you’d shared.

Without another word, you laid back down, this time rolling onto your back, your gaze faraway as you stared up at the ceiling. A quiet settled between you, heavier than before.

Sometimes it was so easy to forget the way things changed.

“I miss my bike,” Daryl suddenly rumbled, unsure where the confession came from — all he knew was that he’d do damn near anything to change that look on your face.

You glanced over at him, intrigued. “Your bike?” you asked softly.

“Mhm,” the archer nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment before huffing a breath. “Found it in the junkyard behind the high school when I was fifteen — all torn apart an’ bashed ta’ hell,” he shook his head absently. “Spent a whole summer fixin’ the damn thing up — me an’ Merle.”

He felt you shift beside him, coming to a sitting position, your legs crisscrossing beneath you. “Really?” you questioned, grabbing onto your pillow and hugging it to your chest.

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded once, pulling himself up and resting his back against the headboard instead. “He wasn’t ‘round much when I was a kid — always gettin’ his ass locked up or sent away,” he scoffed a breath before continuing. “But that summer…yeah, that summer was alright,” he rasped fondly, the sensation uncommon when coupled with stories of his brother.

The archer felt you watching him, his skin flushing beneath your gaze. A small, somewhat sad smile ghosted across your features. “So, what happened to the bike?”

Daryl huffed, fighting back the urge to roll his eyes. “My dumbass brother crashed the damn thing trippin’ on shrooms.”

Your eyes widened suddenly before a laugh spilled out of you, surprising both you and the archer. “I’m — I’m sorry,” you managed between laughs, covering your mouth with your hand. “I just — I wasn’t expecting that.”

Daryl felt the corners of his lips twitch at the sound, snorting a soft laugh himself and shaking his head as he settled back into bed. You followed suit, laying your pillow back in place and slipping under the covers— though this time, you nestled into his side.

He instinctually wound his arm around your form, pulling you nearer, your hand resting gently against his chest.

Another bout of silence settled between you, this time more comfortable, lighter, in a way.

The archer found comfort in the rhythmic beating of your heart, strong and steady, mirroring his own. He drew circles against your back, breathing in the sweetness of you.

“I wouldn’t change a thing, you know,” you suddenly murmured, your voice growing tired.

Daryl held his breath, his movements faltering.

“All of this — the way things are now — I wouldn’t change any of it,” you whispered. “It gave me you.”

The archer had never been more grateful for darkness — for you surely would’ve seen right through him, into the parts of himself you’d shattered with your light, your goodness. If he’d been able to catch his breath, he would’ve told you that he felt the same way — that every day he woke up with you beside him, that every night he fell asleep with you in his arms, was enough to give a meaningless world purpose.

He took a moment to build up the courage, to finally have the gall to tell you just that.

But then, your breathing evened out, your body resting heavier against him, and he swallowed the words.

He began brushing his fingertips against your back once more, his lips turning up into a small smile as he closed his eyes and exhaled.

You were right.

He wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Fin.

A/N: Not me, single as a pringle, vying for this type of love??? But no one in real life??? Will ever??? Amount to this???

I'M FINE, EVERYTHING'S FINE :))))))

Lmfao, anywho, I missed you! I'm happy to be back, my friends.

P.S. Feedback is incredibly important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Also, please consider donating to my Tip Jar. Every little bit helps!

P.S.S. I can no longer tag people on this account, so my tag list has been transferred to my side blog @crossbowking2. If you’d like to be added/removed, please let me know!

[fruitcoops]

Hello Eve! Hope you are doing well!

I've just been rereading your master list, as one does, and Roots and Veins got me thinking and I had a thought that perchance you may like to write? No pressure of course! But in that fic Remus was missing his cap cuddles since, ya know, rib injury, and I thought... Does anyone try and replace cap cuddles? Or even some Remus and James bonding and falling asleep in the couch leaning against each other?

Just supportive James / Lions and platonic support cuddles, ya know? I think we could all use some support cuddles once in a while lol and we all *know* the Lions are all just cuddly teddy bears under that tough hockey man facade.

Oh, yes, all the platonic cuddles! I think James was helping Lily with newborn Harry at that point, but this was combined with an ask for some Loops/ Logan friendship. Hope you enjoy! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove

Remus didn’t even have time to fully look up before a lump of muscle and backwards baseball caps settled down in his lap with a sigh. “By all means, keep going,” Logan said after a moment of dead silence, gesturing at his open book.

“Can I help you?” Remus half-laughed. He could hear some of the others snickering around them—if Logan was going for some sort of prank…

“No, I’m just here for company.” He tossed a peanut in the air and caught it in his mouth, shifting so his legs were slung casually over the armrest. “Comfy?”

Remus snorted at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. “Yeah, I guess. Is this a joke, Tremz?”

“Why would you think that?”

“My lap isn’t usually your preferred seat, if memory serves.”

Logan tilted his head back for the next nut and pouted slightly when it bounced off his nose. “Cap cuddles.”

Remus waited for a moment; when Logan continued snacking rather than offering any explanation whatsoever for his cryptic and unhelpful comments (not that it was a new phenomenon), he sighed through his nose. I’ll bite. “What about Cap cuddles?”

“You’re not getting them. Fuckin’ sucks, eh?”

“I—yes?” Remus glanced at the other side of the room, where his friends were going about their business as usual. No cameras, no recordings. Logan was being dead serious. “Sirius isn’t supposed to have any kind of pressure on his bandages right now, but I’d say the whole ‘broken bones’ thing is worse than missing some cuddles.”

“Hmm.” Logan surveyed his face before he nodded decisively and shifted to lean against Remus’ chest. “I can fix one of those things.”

“…what are you doing?”

“Cuddle me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Jesus, Loops, I’d think from the general dopey look on your boyfriend’s face that you’d be better at this,” Logan snorted with a sideways smile, dragging Remus’ arm over his shoulder and cozying right up to him. “You smell nice.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Remus laughed, though he rubbed a vague oval on Logan’s shoulder more out of instinct than anything else. “You’re tapping in for my fractured boyfriend by sitting on my lap and demanding to be snuggled?”

“You get used to it,” Finn called across the common area without looking up from his book. “Let me know if he starts to bite.”

Logan flipped him off, but didn’t move from his spot. “Loops, you’ve been melancholy without the big, strong arms of our captain to keep you warm—"

“Sweet Jesus,” Remus muttered.

“—so I’m here to make everything better.”

“You know he usually cuddles me, right?”

Logan closed his eyes. “Variety is the spice of life.”

Remus watched him for a moment just to make sure it wasn’t a joke before returning to his book, then grudgingly wrapped his other arm around Logan’s torso and moved the book around for a better angle. He couldn’t deny that it felt nice to have someone curled up with him after nearly two full weeks of being all by himself even while he and Sirius shared a bed—Logan was about the same density, too, so his lap didn’t feel too light. He didn’t even realize he was dozing off until his forehead hit Logan’s shoulder, and by that point he was too drowsy to do anything about it.

-------------------

“Mon loup.” Something touched his shoulder, shaking him lightly. Remus grumbled and kept his eyes shut. “Mon loup, it’s time to wake up.”

Whoever it was, they were laughing at him. He pressed his face closer to the soft thing in front of him and heard several more voices join the first in their amusement. “Go ‘way,” the teddy bear in his arms mumbled.

“Uh-uh, Tremblay, you’re not stealing him that fast.” The hand disappeared from his shoulder; the thing in Remus’ arms began to shake and made a cranky noise before it shifted its weight. He cracked an eye open to glare, only to be met with a face he would know anywhere.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said sleepily.

“Bonjour,” Sirius answered, still laughing a little. “Comfy, much?”

“Don’t bend over, ‘s bad for your ribs,” Remus reminded him before settling back in. Reality struck a moment later and he bolted upright, nearly launching Logan off him in the process. “What the—Logan!”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you leave?”

“I fell asleep!” Logan defended, obviously still disoriented. “You’re soft and warm!”

“Watch it,” Sirius warned with playfully narrowed eyes.

Logan glared right back. “I am doing you a favor, asshole, be grateful.”

“Off,” Remus reminded him with a nudge to his lower back. His whole left leg from the hip down was numb—his spine ached from being twisted around for God knew how long. He shook his head to clear the naptime fog and blinked hard at the sudden brightness of the hotel lights, counting six different people that were still grinning like idiots at them. “Or else you’re gonna break my ribs.”

Sirius offered him a hand up, but retracted it after Remus leveled a pointed look at his ribcage and hefted himself out of the chair. “Good nap?” Sirius teased. “You two looked far too cozy.”

“Please don’t tell me anyone took pictures,” Remis sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with an absent kiss to Sirius’ shoulder.

An arm, much longer than Logan’s, settled easily around his waist and pulled him in for an almost-hug. Sirius’ lips brushed his temple; he let out a slow exhale at the familiar feeling and nuzzled into the side of his neck. “Just a few.”

[the-bau-quinjet]

Hygge

Summary: Y/N introduces Bucky to the little things that he missed out on since the 40s.

Warnings: Absolutely none, just fluff :)

Word Count: 3527

a/n: Hygge is a Danish word, and from what I can tell it perfectly encompasses finding happiness in the little things.

This request honestly had me smiling the whole time I wrote it. Thank you to everyone who gave me suggestions of things to introduce Bucky to (including my sisters who don't know why I asked them that question lol)

Also, I find happiness in looking at this gif so I would like to thank @thebritishstanfan for its existence on this app

You heard the door open just as you finished running the bath.

"Bucky!" You ran out to the living room, throwing your arms around him in greeting.

"Hi, Doll." He whispered into hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He instantly relaxed at your touch.

"I have a surprise for you." You grabbed his hand, leading him to the bathtub. "I thought you might want to relax a bit, so I ran you a bath."

Just being in your presence was relaxing to him, but he wouldn't turn down a bath, especially one with the potential of you joining him.

"Are you going to relax with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively eliciting a laugh from you.

"Maybe later, this is about you right now." You smiled softly, eager to help him unwind.

He undressed quickly, lowering himself into the warm water as you searched through a shopping bag.

"Okay. Big Blue, Intergalactic, Love Boat, or Goddess?" You looked at him expectantly.

He stared at you, confusion evident on his face.

"Oh, do you want to smell them and then decide?" You questioned with a tilt of your head.

"Smell what?" His brows furrowed, mouth slightly agape.

"The bath bombs silly." You smiled brightly, bringing the bag closer to him.

"Why would I want a bomb in my bath?" He questioned your odd behavior.

"It's not a real bomb, Buck." You shook your head, randomly removing one of the bath bombs from the bag, Goddess. You held it out for him to take.

"Smell it." You instructed.

He was apprehensive in his movements, but slowly moved the purple ball to his nose.

"It smells like flowers." He stated plainly, waiting for you to explain more.

"Yep. Here, smell the rest of them." You handed him each of the bath bombs, waiting to hear his verdict on each one.

"Oh, that's surprisingly citrus-y." He held out Love Boat for you to take back.

"This one smells too clean." He shook his head, dropping Big Blue into the outstretched bag.

"I like this one." He held Intergalactic in his hand, smiling proudly.

"Perfect. Lower it into the water." Your eyes were filled with love as you watched him follow your instructions.

"It's fizzing." He looked at you, concern evident in his bright blue eyes.

"It's supposed to. It dissolves in the water, coloring the bath and also adding scent from essential oils." You did your best to explain.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"It's just... have you ever heard of hygge?" You waited for his answer.

"Yeah, I've heard the word. It's like feeling cozy and happy from little things." He looked to you for approval.

"Exactly. That's what bath bombs are for, at least to me. They make me happy, so I thought you might like to try one."

The bath water had turned a dark blue, glitter floating throughout.

"Nobody thought to explain bath bombs to me, I guess." He smiled at you, relaxing into the bath. "What else makes you happy?"

"You know what, I'll make a list of little things that I love and then we can spend a day together where I show them to you." You bit your lip in anticipation of his response.

"I'd love that." He grinned.

"Yay! I'm going to get started!" You quickly left the bathroom, leaving him to relax on his own.

-

"What's got you so excited?" Sam gestures to your bouncing knee.

"Oh, I didn't even notice. I'm just showing Bucky some things that he's missed out on since the 40s." You smile grew as you thought about the list you had made.

You were just about to find Bucky and show him the list when you had to leave for an impromptu mission.

You were definitely annoyed your plans had been delayed, but it made you a force to be reckoned with while fighting.

"So that's why you were so ruthless. You've got a hot date." Sam winked.

"Whatever you say Sam." You shook your head. "I've got to drop by Starbucks before they close. See you later!" You called as you ran from the jet, still in mission gear.

The disheveled state of your clothing and hair earned you some looks from the Starbucks employees, but you were too excited to care.

You quickly stopped in your room to change before heading off to find Bucky.

"BuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBucky!" You said his name over and over as you ran to the common area.

Skidding to a stop, you held up the drinks in your hands. "Bucky! Are you ready?"

He seemed to be in the middle of something with Steve, but abandoned it immediately at the sight of you.

"Sorry, punk. I've gotta go." He grabbed a drink from you, sliding his other hand into your newly empty one.

"Wow, jerk. You get a girlfriend and replace me!" Steve yelled after you in a joking tone.

"Don't worry Stevie. Nobody could replace you." You called back over your shoulder, dragging Bucky to the kitchen.

"Okay, I've got a few different categories. The first one we're going to tackle is food!" You smiled brightly, nearly bouncing in anticipation.

"Can you preheat the oven to 350 degrees?" You asked as you grabbed a bag from the freezer.

You swiftly dumped the contents onto the tray, shoving them into the oven while it preheated.

"Aren't you supposed to wait until it's hot?" Bucky watched as you slid around the room.

"Yes, but I've always been impatient. It'll be fine. I promise! While those are cooking, I've got a few other things for you. These are from the 90s."

You handed him a bag of flamin' hot cheetos, watching with bated breath as he opened it and sniffed the contents.

"They smell bizarre. Why are they so red?" He looked at the cheeto in his hand with confusion.

"It's the flamin' hot cheeto dust! It may be unnaturally red, but it's so satisfying to eat." You grabbed the bag from him, eating a cheeto of your own.

He eyed you carefully, slowly popping the cheeto into his mouth and chewing carefully.

"Doll, these are terrible." He deadpanned, grinning when you pouted.

"Bucky!" You whined. "You have to eat more than one for the full experience. It doesn't matter that they aren't the best flavor wise, there's just something about them that's addicting." You laughed, eating a few more cheetos.

"Alright, alright. I'll follow your lead." The two of you snacked as you brought his attention to the next item.

"Okay, these don't really go with the cheeto flavor, but they still make me happy. Starbucks only does holiday drinks around the holidays, obviously. These are my two favorite."

You handed him one beverage, gesturing for him to try it.

"Minty..." He waited for an explanation.

"Yes. Peppermint mocha!" You swapped the cups, letting him try the next drink. "That one is an eggnog latte."

"They're both pretty good, although I still like my coffee black." He placed the cup back on the counter.

"Yeah, I thought you might say that. There's just something about them. Probably because they're seasonal drinks. It makes me associate them with the holidays and spending time with friends and family and that makes me smile."

He pressed a kiss to your nose. "You are too cute."

"I know!" You scrunched your nose, knowing he finds it adorable. "Next item!" You presented him with three different packages of Oreos.

"Why so many?" He questioned.

"Because, they're different flavors. I now Oreos were originally produced in like 1912 or something, that's why I got different flavors."

"Actually, I don't think I've ever tried one." He eyed the blue package excitedly.

"Ahh, while I got double stuffed because they're obviously better than the regular ones. I've also got peanut butter and mint. Honestly, pretty mild flavors all things considered." You laughed, picturing the key lime flavor you avoided.

Bucky grabbed one of each, excited to try all three.

"I think the mint one is my favorite. It really goes with the peppermint mocha." He nodded as he spoke, as if he needed to convince himself.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." You smiled, watching as he ate three more cookies.

Before he could reply, the timer went off.

"The dino nuggies!" You reached for the potholder, pulling the tray out of the over. "This is the last food item."

He looked at the tray, confusion clear in his eyes.

"Doll, are these just chicken nuggets?" He picked up a brontosaurus from the tray.

"Well, yes." You huffed. "But! They're shaped like dinosaurs!" You bit your lip in excitement, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

"So? They still taste the same..." Bucky clearly did not understand the hype.

"Right again. It's so much more fun to eat though. Gives you a childlike enthusiasm, even as a fully grown adult." He eyed you skeptically as he bit off the head of a dino.

He couldn't help but smile as you watched him, anticipating his reaction.

"Ya know, you might be right. That was weirdly satisfying."

The two of you spent the next few minutes eating chicken nuggets, hot cheetos, and oreos, occasionally sipping from the holiday beverages.

After quickly cleaning up the kitchen, you lead Bucky to your bathroom.

"Sit down." You gestured to the toilet.

"Why?" He still did as he was asked.

"Because." You answered petulantly. You filled a paper cup with water, carefully dumping it on his head to get his hair wet.

"Y/N!" Bucky jolted from the cold water.

"Sorry! I forgot it was cold!" You quickly plugged in the blowdryer, letting the warm air waft over his head.

"You know, if that thing was quieter, I think I could fall asleep right now." Bucky stated calmly as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to evenly distribute the warm air amongst the hair.

"I know, right! There's something about someone else blow drying your hair that is so soothing."

You spent the next few minutes drying Bucky's hair and massaging his scalp.

"All done!" you exclaimed, unplugging the blow dryer and putting it back in the cabinet.

"Are you sure you don't want to do that again?" Bucky questioned, still sitting on the toilet.

"Yes. We've got more things to cover!" You pulled him off the toilet, nearly dragging him to your bed.

"Next category is entertainment, I guess." You brought out your laptop, certain apps already open to show him different things.

"We'll start with animals!" You were buzzing with excitement, and caffeine, as you opened two different browsers.

"Doll, animals existed in the 40s." He shook his head, endlessly amused by your behavior.

"I know that. Have you ever seen a Highland Cow?" You raised your brow, challenging his statement.

"I can't say I have." He shook his head slightly.

"Well, there you go. Animals it is. Actually, have you ever used Alexa?" You questioned him.

"No... Who is Alexa?" His confusion earned a laugh from you.

"An AI." You explained before bursting out into laughter again.

"Oh, like Friday?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but Alexa's not nearly as advanced. Here, watch this." You cleared your throat, making sure to speak clearly. "Alexa, show me pictures of Highland cows."

After a brief buffer, the AI responded. "Here are pictures of Highland cows." The google search appeared on your screen.

"So you can ask her anything?" Bucky questioned.

"Sort of, Friday knows way more. Alexa's good for little things though. Tony gets annoyed if you ask Friday to do too many small things because it can take up too much RAM and... You know what, it's not important." You decided against explaining since Bucky already looked confused.

You shifted your screen so he could see the many pictures displayed.

"Okay, so what's so special about a Highland cow?" He scrolled through the images, unaware of the smile forming on his face.

"There's just something about them. You'll find that same explanation for a lot of things I'm showing you, but it's true. They just make me smile. Look at how cute they are!" You emphatically gestured to the screen, nearly squealing at the adorable display.

"I actually see what you mean. Looking at them just makes you smile." He nodded his head thoughtfully, a small grin still pulling at his lips. "What other animal are you introducing me to?"

"Well, I assume you know what a puppy is." You said in complete seriousness.

"I do, indeed." He matched your tone, mocking the seriousness. He was really enjoying the playfulness you were showcasing.

"Well, here is a video of actor Tom Holland... you know Tom Holland, right?" You turned to face him.

"Tom Holland. Tom Holland... What's he in again?" His brows pinched together in thought.

"We've watched a few of his new movies together. Chaos Walking, The Devil All the Time, a few animated films, In the Heart of the Sea."

"Oh! The British one?" Recognition crossed his features.

"Yes! That one. Okay so, this is an interview of him..."

"Okay?" Bucky was more confused now than any other point of the night.

"Playing with puppies!" You're mouth dropped open in a wide smile, clearly excited about even the idea of puppies.

"I think I understand this one without even watching the video." he laughed, laying back with you to watch.

-

"You can't have pitbulls in England?" Bucky was affronted.

"I know. It's so sad." You pouted, still staring at the puppies on the screen.

-

"I have actually always thought puppies smell really good." He easily commented, agreeing with the famous actor.

"I know, Buck. I know." You shook your head playfully.

-

"Twinkies are pretty gross, he's not wrong." It was your turn to comment on his answers.

"I see your point." Bucky agreed as well.

-

"I definitely understand why this one makes you happy." Bucky smiled, kissing you on the cheek. "You know, he kind looks like Peter."

"I mean, maybe a little." You shrugged moving on to the next thing on your list.

"Still in the realm of entertainment, I've got some music for you." You knew Bucky was going to pout here.

"Doll, you know I'm just fine listening to my 40s music and calling it a day."

"Yes, but this is my list and you have agreed to be subjected to it." You queued up a few songs. "The first one, again, just makes me smile. I babysat a lot when I was younger, and there's something about this theme song that really hits different."

"Hits different?" Bucky stared at you like you had two heads.

"Yep. Just listen."

I was a girl in the village doing alright, then I became a princess overnight. Now I gotta figure out how to do it right, so much to learn and see.

You bobbed your head, mouthing the words as the theme song to Sofia the First played.

"I don't get this one." He figured honesty was the best policy.

"You say that now, but a week from now... You'll be singing it while you punch a bad guy in the face." You deadpanned, earning a laugh.

"Okay! Actual songs now." You took a deep breath, tring to prepare for his rejection. "Taylor Swift."

"Taylor Swift?" He repeated, waiting for you to say something else.

"To quote one of my favorite tik toks I've ever seen... 'If you don't like a single Taylor Swift song, I'm taking a crowbar, and I'm propping open your chest to see what's powering that thing in there, because it's not a heart.'"

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think." He eyed you cautiously.

"No. It's true. Her discography is so versatile, everyone can find at least one song they like." Your playful mood from earlier was still present, but hidden behind a slightly threatening glare.

"Which song are you going to play for me?" He was honestly nervous to hear it.

"Actually, you can pick. This playlist is songs of hers that make me smile, so pick whichever one you want." You smiled, eager to see his choice.

He scrolled through the playlist, reading each title carefully.

"Okay, You Are In Love or New Year's Day?" He asked your opinion.

"Both good choices, why those two?" You eyed him curiously.

"Well, You Are In Love because that's how I feel about you and New Years Day because you put it last in the playlist, so I know it must be one of your favorites."

You couldn't hide the way his words made you smile if you tried.

"I love you so much." You kissed him quickly. "Go with New Year's Day, I think it will resonate with you a bit more."

He smiled, tapping the screen gently to play the song.

The two of you remained quiet through the song, just enjoying the soft melody and storytelling.

"Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere." He quoted when the song ended.

"I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and your crawling home." You sang softly in response.

He cleared his throat. "I think I understand this one."

"I'm glad. I mean, it obviously doesn't have to be Taylor Swift, but everyone should have at least one song that makes them smile." You leaned into his embrace, enjoying the time spent together.

"What else have you got for me, Doll?" He held you close.

"Two more things. Here." You handed him two slightly sticky balls.

"What the hell is this?" He laughed, prying the toy from his metal hand.

"Throw it at the ceiling." He did as he was told, following your lead.

"Friday, can you turn off the lights?" You asked the AI.

"Of course, Ms. L/N."

The two of you were quickly shrouded in darkness. The balls you had thrown at the ceiling were glowing.

"How do we get them down?" Bucky whispered, his voice matching the darkness of the room.

"Just wait..." You stared at the ceiling, waiting a few seconds before the balls began to fall.

"So you just throw it and catch it?" Bucky questioned, again following your lead.

"Yep! It's weirdly relaxing after a long day." You smiled, catching and throwing the neon balls over and over again.

"You're absolutely right." He laughed, catching the blue ball before it could hit him in the face. "Especially just laying in the dark."

"Exactly! I'll go get the last thing, you can keep going." You pressed a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. You tossed a few stuffed animal heating pads into the microwave.

While they were heating up, you grabbed yours and Bucky's water bottles to fill up with the fridge filter.

The beep sounded, indicating you could grab the animals and head back to Bucky.

"I'm back!" You called softly as you closed the door again. The room was still dark, causing you to turn on the lights. Bucky was frantically catching and throwing all four balls.

"It's a bit less relaxing when you've got to keep track of so many." He laughed as one fell and stuck to his elbow.

"Yeah, more like a game then." You smiled, happy to see him having so much fun.

"So, what's the last thing?"

You held up a bright yellow duck and an equally bright green frog.

"Stuffed animals? Doll, how old do you think I am?" He laughed lightheartedly.

"They're not just stuffed animals. They're also heating pads." You smiled, handing the duck to Bucky.

"What do you do with it?" He questioned.

"Men." You couldn't help but mumble it under your breath. "Well, after a mission, when you're feeling sore you can cuddle with one of these and it helps soothe the ache."

"Really? Nothing else you've shown me has been this practical." He chuckled again.

"That is true, but the fact that it's a stuffed frog makes me happy, even after the worst day."

"I guess you have a point." He pulled the duck close to his body, snuggling with it. "I like cuddling with you better." He pouted.

"I like cuddling with you too Bucky. Promise." You turned to face him, holding the frog to your chest with one arm.

"Thank you for sharing all this with me. I honestly don't remember the last time I smiled this much." He looked at you fondly, still smiling.

"Me either. There is one more thing that makes me really happy, though." You whispered.

"Yeah, what's that?" He watched you eagerly, waiting for the last thing.

"You." You watched his smile grow. "Even just spending ten seconds with you makes me happy after a totally shit day."

"Y/N, you make me happier than anyone I've ever met, Steve included." He joked. "I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love someone."

"I love you too. So, so much." You rested your head on his chest, cuddling as close as the stuffed frog allowed. "Goodnight, Bucky." You whispered softly, eyes already falling closed.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, sighing contently.

"Goodnight my love."

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[trappedham]

4, 10, 14, 18, 23

4. Mythical creature you think/believe is real?

I'm not really sure about real, but you know in games of telephone how things gradually get warped until it barely resembles the original. yeah that. but yeah no actually I do believe that theres something funky about like big mountain forests and the deep sea like deep deep sea like theres stuff there. probably.

10. On a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

I'll ask for applejuice cuz that is THE comfort juice and immediately fuckin regret it cuz i have no self control and turn around and do it again. I only ask for orange juice if I have a sore throat/cold cuz it kinda burns ur throat but not in the actually burning way but in the Oh This Is Hurting For No Reason IM GONNA GIVE IT A REASON. Just need to bully the cold outta ya sometimes. eviction notice. like Get Out bruh.

14. Do you think you're dehydrated?

No but my stats beg to differ. Istg I drink like a HORSE. so much SO MUCH goddamn water AND FOR WHAT. No lie every time im like Dying (/hj) and have to go to the emergency room they ALWAYS tell me I'm dehydrated like Fuck You WHAT DO YOU MEEEAAAN

18. Your boba/tea order?

I've never tried boba but strawberry sounds kinda good. I have like no basis for boba but I'm hoping I'm right and the strawberry has Vibes. Unless its the fake strawberry flavor with the fake sugars, but there IS a Good fake strawberry flavor like have you ever had strawberry milk I havent had strawberry milk since i was like 6 and Fuck do i miss it

23. Do you wear jewelry?

I've always wanted to be a jewelry person like I've Tried but its never really stuck. When I was a baby my parents tried to pierce my ears for baby photos but I had some sorta reaction to them. I think I wanted to get my ears pierced awhile ago to see if I outgrew that allergy like I did my peanut one but the stars never really aligned on that one. Think I'm gonna leave them unpierced for now tho