#I've had my fair share of silly comments from people but I do not get stopped and searched

[virtualcarrot]

Always sparring a thought for how essentialist racism discourse has become, but especially today as I think of this guy that I met two days ago, whom I sincerely believed had origins from the Maghreb/Middle East, and who it turns out is merely part Spanish--with all that entails of historical intermingling, sure, but far away enough that he didn't have anyone to point to as a reference of racialization

Anyway, that "white" dude keeps getting stopped and frisked whenever he's in an airport

[starleska]

hey guys, listen. it means the world that you like my stuff and are eager to see more of it, but i literally posted a wip just two weeks ago and have so many people asking when it's going to be done. the answer is: i don't know. this month has been tremendously difficult for me, and i'm really, really exhausted.

i've been posting art, vids, text posts, writing articles, etc. all for the sake of fandom while trying to keep on top of the huge amount of asks and messages that have come my way. i was supporting a loved one in the hospital, my laptop is broken, and i experienced a really horrifying situation earlier this month that left me sick, that i'm still recovering from. please do remember that i'm not a content factory, and neither are any other fandom artists you like. i know some of you are just reaching out because you are excited, but a lot of the time it's coming across as a demand, and it's making me just want to log off and not work on anything at all. this isn't my job - i'm just a person who gets excited about stuff and likes to write/draw/talk about it, that's all. i recognise some of this response is just burnout from a really terrible month, and i probably wouldn't be reacting this way if i was less at the end of my tether, but this is something i've always been vocal about. as a prolific fandom creator i've had my fair share of 'WHEN'S THE NEXT CHAPTER???' comments on fics, and 'OMG YOU SHOULD DRAW THIS!!!' replies on art that's just been posted. zero acknowledgement of artistic merit, of what they liked about what was made...just an insatiable hunger for more. i don't know if it's because i'm in so many fandoms, or because i make such a wide variety of fan content and make a lot of posts that seem to draw strangers in. but none of my fanworks come with a release date. i make them because they make me happy, and i release them when they're ready, and if i want to. i shouldn't be logging onto Tumblr and feeling dread looking at my askbox, messages and replies because i know there'll be more demand. for real guys...my stuff isn't that good? it's just silly self-indulgent nonsense and autistic overthinking. this is the place where i go to release the fixation energy, not to come to another workplace 😓 my apologies if this seems ridiculous or overblown. it's a feeling i've been sitting on for a few months now, and it's one i've had following strong/frequent/demanding interactions in larger fandoms before. i don't think there's a fix for this, because people are always going to be crossing boundaries and treating fanworks creators this way. but i think i need to stay firm and say that i don't owe anyone a schedule of the art i make for fun. thanks for reading ��

[sequinsmile-x]

The Games We Play - Chapter 4

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her.

She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death. 

A Hunger Games AU

-x-

Hi friends,

Well, here we are - the final chapter of the most insane fic idea I've had yet. Thanks for all the love on this silly little AU it really means the world.

Please let me know what you think, your comments mean the world <3

-x-

Words: 3.6k

A full list of warnings can be found on the series master list

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He grunts as the knife enters his chest again, the pain barely there, not matching up with what he thinks it should feel like. He looks up at George, at the crazed look in his eyes, and he knows this is it, that he’d got so close to surviving, so close to fulfilling his promise to Emily, and he’d fallen at the last hurdle.

Emily. 

He thinks of her smile, of the way she’d laugh just when he needed to hear it. He thinks of her beauty, not diminished by what she’d survived but enhanced, her endless strength making her impossibly more gorgeous. 

He had to make it back to her. 

He growls, an animalistic sound escaping him as he surges forward, taking George by surprise as he flips them, the knife scattering out of the other man's hand as he gets the advantage. He hits him, his fists aching and splitting open as he carries on, not stopping as he feels bones crack beneath his knuckles.

He carries on, all the anger he’d ever felt surging through him. Anger at his father. At himself. At the world he found himself living in. 

He only stops when he physically can’t do it anymore, his arms giving out from under him as he collapses off of George, who was eerily still, his eyes, one of the only recognisable parts of his face left, staring straight ahead.

Aaron collapses, his head swimming as blood loss catches up with him, his eyes drifting shut as he hears a canon crack in the air around him.

___

He sucks in a panicked breath, his eyes flying open as he looks around him, his body heavy as he tries and fails to sit up.

“Aaron.”

His head snaps to his left, his eyes wide and wild as he looks at Emily, a mix of relief and disbelief painted across her face, “Emily?”

“It’s okay,” she says, still in her seat, seemingly glued to it as she looks him over, her shoulders tight, “You’re okay. You’re in the private wing of the hospital,” she says, looking around them, “I shouldn’t even be here,” she flashes him a quick smile, “Dave can talk anyone into anything.” 

He nods, taking in his surroundings a little more now the panic has passed. Everything looked opulent, expensive in a way he never would have been able to imagine before he came to the Capitol. He looks past the open door to his room and sees the nurse sitting at a computer and typing, the clack of the keys clear even from where he is lying in his bed. 

“My hearing,” he says, placing his hand over his right ear, “It’s back. After the explosion with Kate…I could barely hear.”

“They restored it for you,” she explains, her smile tight as she sits up straighter in the chair next to his bed, “Nothing but the best for their victor.” 

He nods, blinking heavily a few times before shaking his head, trying to dispel the sleepiness that threatened to overtake him, “What else?” 

“You have a fair number of scars on your chest,” she says, her eyes fixed on his gown as if she could see his damaged skin through it, “And on your knuckles from where you…” she presses her lips together, the memory of the sound of George’s face giving way under his fists sending a shiver down her spine, “They can get rid of the scars too if you want to. Some people keep them.” 

“Did you keep yours?” 

His question takes her by surprise, and for a moment she forgot he didn’t know, that in all the nights they shared a bed he’d never seen her without her clothes on, had never seen the constellation of scar tissue that spread across her abdomen. Pink lines and creases that had faded to white, skin that was still numb to the touch and likely always would be. 

“Yes,” she says, subconsciously placing her hand over the scar through her shirt, “I kept it.” 

He stores the information away for later, not wanting to pry now, but he thinks he’ll make the same decision, not wanting to lose the evidence of what he’d survived. 

“What else happened?” He asks, and she frowns, her eyebrows knitting together as she tilts her head and he smiles softly, “You looked like you saw a ghost when I woke up.” 

She wonders how she should feel about the fact he can read her so easily, that, despite everything, they’d seemingly picked back up right where they left off when she’d been reaped for her own games and her life had changed forever. She thinks she should hate it, but she doesn’t. She likes that he knows her like that, that he understands her. 

It had been so long since she’d felt known. 

“Your…” she clears her throat, her teeth clenched as she tries to breathe through the emotion threatening to overwhelm her, “Your heart stopped when they got you out,” her voice shakes a little, “You were dead for almost a minute until they brought you back.” 

He frowns and places his hand against his chest, his ribs aching, his entire body on fire from pain that the medication in his system barely dulled, “They brought me back?” 

She chokes out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and she nods, “Yeah, they brought you back.” 

“Why?”

His question surprises her, makes her breath catch in her chest as she looks down at her hands, her torn up cuticles something she can focus on instead of him, “Because they need a winner,” she whispers, “None of this works if they don’t have a winner and George died in the arena. So you’re their winner.” 

He stares at her, his focus on the way she absolutely avoids looking at him. He can’t help but wonder how she felt when she was in his place. When she was laying in a bed, stitched back together after barely surviving the unthinkable, alone and wondering what came next. He feels selfishly grateful that he has her, that she can guide him through this next part. 

“So,” he says, offering her a half smile when she looks at him, “Looks like I’ll be able to take you on a date after all,” he jokes, wanting nothing more than to lighten the mood, to feel anything other than despair for the first time since his brother’s name was called during the reaping. 

She scoffs, shaking her head as she crosses her arms over her chest, Dave’s words from just a few days ago weighing heavily on her chest, “I wish it was that simple.” 

He frowns at her, lifting his hand from his bed and offering it out to her, grateful when she stands and takes it without any further prompting, as if she was magnetised to him, moving against her will, “What do you mean?” 

She isn’t sure how to put it into words. She wanted him, wanted whatever sense of happiness was possible in the reality they lived in, but she knew there would be a cost. She’d always known that, it’s why she’d cut him out of her life until he volunteered for his brother, fate intervening and putting them back firmly in each other's paths. She sighs as she sits on the edge of his bed, his warmth even with the small amount of distance between them intoxicating.

“There will be expectations of us,” she says, her chest hollowed out, aching and empty, ready for the heartbreak she can already feel, the heartbreak she’d endure for the rest of her life if it was what he chooses. She reaches out to push some of his hair out of his face, the strands longer than they usually would be, unkempt from his time in the arena, her fingers ghosting across his forehead. “If we do this. Our life won’t necessarily be our own.” 

He catches her hand as she pulls it away from his face, linking their fingers together and squeezing, desperate to keep her close, “What do you mean?”

She looks over her shoulder to make sure they are alone, to check the nurse who was assigned to him wasn’t in earshot. She’d learnt a long time ago that no one could be trusted, that even those who seemed to be her friends here would give away her secrets for free. The only person she did trust, other than Aaron, was Dave. He’d never lied to her, never been anything other than almost painfully honest, their shared burden of what they did year after year something that had bonded them in a way she’s sure she’d collapse without. She leans in and makes sure she talks quietly, her voice low so only he hears her. 

“We’ll get married,” she says, a smile flitting across her face at the treacherous hope that flashes in his eyes, something that even what he’d just been through couldn’t kill. She liked to think that would one day be the country’s downfall - the hope that existed between them all no matter what they had done to them. Hope that planted seeds and bloomed even in the darkest of circumstances, its flowers too bright and beautiful to be ignored, “And we won’t…there won’t be a lot of choice,” she says, hoping he’d understand, that he wouldn’t make her say it, “We would be expected to do our duty as victors.” 

It’s the desperate look in her eyes that makes it click for him. He thinks of their conversation on the train, the way they’d casually agreed children weren’t on the cards for either of them as they drank liquor he’s sure cost more than his parent’s house. It was a moment in time, something that had led him back to her, his volunteering for his brother a crossroads in his life that had changed everything. A decision that, in the grand scheme of things, hadn’t been that long ago but may as well have happened to a different person. 

“Oh,” he says, feeling her hand go slack in his, her expression tight as she starts to pull away, taking his silence and lack of a reaction as confirmation he would change his mind. He holds her hand even tighter, and feels her bones pop against each other, “Well, if there was anyone I’d want to do any of that with, it would be you.” 

She scoffs, disbelief catching on every rib as it forces its way out, “Aaron, it’s not that simple,” she says, looking down at their joint hands, his tanned skin from the artificial sun in the arena making hers look even paler than usual, “We’d have to have children. If we didn’t Barnes would punish us, our families.” 

“Em-”

She carries on as if he hasn’t spoken, as if she can’t hear him. All of the fears she’d pushed down for years finally burst to the surface, escaping from the box she’d hidden them in because he’d knocked it over, his love and kindness tearing her defences to pieces. 

“And as much as I always said I don’t want children, I’d love them. I’d love them so much and then having to send them off to the arena when they turn 12-” she’s cut off as he sits up, groaning at the pain that spreads through his chest, his entire body burning from the points where Foyet had stabbed him, “What are you doing? You’re hurt.” 

“I’m trying to hug you,” he says through gritted teeth as she lowers him back down to the bed, her hands firm on his shoulders as she raises an eyebrow at him in disbelief. He breathes through the pain for a moment and then rests his hands on her hips, “Em, I understand what you’re saying,” he says, encouraging her closer, her face close enough that he can feel her breath skipping across his skin, “I know it won’t be easy, but even if we had a kid tomorrow, 12 years is a long time. You never know what could happen.” 

She huffs out a laugh and presses her forehead against his, “You think the world is going to change enough between now and then to mean we’d be safe.” 

“I think you haven’t even kissed me yet,” he says, his hand on her back, his palm splayed so his fingers sneak under the hem of her shirt, smiling softly as she shivers as his heated skin touches hers, “Everything else will happen as it happens.” 

She thinks she should hate him for being so sure, for the hint of optimism she knew time would kill over the next few years, but she can’t bring herself to. Instead, she allows herself to feel the relief that she’d been holding off since she’d arrived at the hospital. It fills her lungs, her chest fully expanding for the first time since she’d last seen him before he went into the arena, and she shakes her head, pressing her forehead against his for a moment before she pulls back, her smile fond as their eyes meet. 

She leans in and presses her lips against his, her hand on his cheek to hold him in place, as if he’d rather be anywhere else even if he had the strength to move. It’s everything she’d ever imagined it to be and more as he pulls her closer, his hand insistent on her back as his other one finds its way into her hair, anchoring her to him. He tastes of the sugary medicinal drink she’d been made to have when she first woke up when she won the games, a boost she’d never known the name of, a hint of something she knew must just be him lingering underneath. 

He sighs contentedly as she sinks into him, her tongue running across the seam of his lips before he opens his mouth. He’d thought about this moment for so long that it didn’t feel real, almost too good to be true. For a moment he wonders if he really did die in the arena, if this was the last thing his subconscious was doing for him, a moment of heaven before he slipped into darkness. 

He knows it’s real the moment she pulls back, a concerned look on her face as he groans in pain, the two of them having got carried away as he pulls her tight to his chest, the pain reverberating throughout his body. 

“Sorry,” she says, her hand slipping from his cheek to his throat, the reassuring thump of his pulse against her skin calming her down. 

“Never apologise for kissing me,” he replies, encouraging her back in for another kiss, a quick thing stamped against her lips, “But we might have to wait a little while for our date.”

She smiles and nods, resting her forehead against his, taking a moment to breathe him in, “I should get going anyway. Let you rest.”

He shakes his head, “No, stay.”

“Aaron-”

“Please,” he says, wincing as he tries to shift in the bed, making room for her to slide in next to him, “I want you to stay.” 

She hesitates, not sure what people would say or think if they found her in his bed, but she realises she doesn’t care. For the first time in years, she doesn’t think about anyone other than herself and she nods, slipping off her shoes before she carefully slips into bed with him, her head on his shoulder as she snuggles into his side. A sense of peace she hadn’t felt since they’d last slept next to each other washes over her and she tilts her head to look up at him. 

“I love you,” she says, the words not seeming as heavy as they had on the rooftop the night before the games started. It was no longer something she’d only get to say to him once, no longer a rushed confession borne out of a misunderstanding. It was softer, impossibly more real.

Something she would say to him every day for the rest of her life. 

“I love you too,” he replies, kissing the top of her head, tightening his hold on her the best he can with his injuries, “And I’ll spend the rest of my life doing that the best way that I can.” 

___

At first, she’s not sure what wakes her up.

She’d never slept well on the train, not from the very first time she’d boarded it. It was eerily quiet given the speed they were travelling and it left her feeling uneasy, a stillness to it all that felt unnatural. 

She rolls onto her back and groans, rubbing her hands over her eyes as she considers going to watch the sunrise in the back carriage, and then she hears a moan next to her, drawing her attention to Aaron as he sleeps fitfully. As he thrashes in the bed, his fists clenched at his sides, she knows what woke her up and she sighs sadly. She sits up and turns on the light, folding her legs against her chest and wrapping her arms around them as she watches him, waiting for him to wake up. 

The first night he’d been back from the hospital, the same day he’d had his interview with Gideon, she’d tried to wake him up. She’d put her hands on his face and tried to pull him out of it, her words soft and reassuring as she eased him back to her. He’d grabbed her wrist, his grip tight around it, as he woke up, leaving a bruise that hadn’t quite faded yet. He hadn’t forgiven himself, had refused to sleep next to her again until she promised she wouldn’t try to wake him up again, and she hated how he sometimes looked at her. 

As if she had something to be afraid of when she was with him. 

It feels like an age passes before he wakes up, his chest filling quickly with a breath that’s clearly painful as he sits up, his eyes wild as he yells, his fists clenched so tightly she’s sure he could break the skin on his palms. 

“Aaron,” she says quietly, not wanting to startle him. He looks at her so quickly it must pull at his neck, his eyes still wide as they meet hers. She knows that look, she’s seen it on her own face in the small hours of the night as she splashed water on herself in the bathroom after a nightmare. He was in the arena, his mind playing tricks on him even though he was now as safe as he ever would be. “You’re okay. It’s a dream. We’re on the train home.” 

“Emily?” 

She smiles and nods, shifting closer to him as the fog in his eyes starts to lift. She reaches out and places her hand on his cheek, her heart twisting in her chest as he leans into it, seeking out the affection she always had waiting for him. 

“It’s me. I’m right here,” she assures him, shifting closer again until she’s in his lap, something in her stomach easing when he wraps his arms around her and holds her close, “I’m right here.” 

He sighs, his eyes drifting closed as he rests his forehead on her temple, taking the chance to breathe her in, to replace the blood he could still smell with the scent of her, “I’m sorry.” 

She pulls back and cups his cheek again, “You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

His eyes drift to her bruised wrist and guilt churns in his gut just like it had every day since he’d woken up to find his first wrapped tightly around it. He clenches his teeth and shakes his head, familiar anger he hadn’t been able to shift since the arena burning through him. 

“I don’t know how you can even look at me.” 

She frowns as he looks down, avoiding her eye contact. He barely lets go of her though, as if she was the only thing keeping him grounded, so she wraps her arms around his shoulders to hold him close. 

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” She asks, the moniker slipping free without her meaning it to, her focus on playing with the short hairs at the back of his head, providing comfort in any way she can. 

“I hurt you,” he says, his tone flat as he continues to stare at the wall, “I killed people, Em,” he finally pulls away to look at her, “I killed a guy with my bare hands.” 

“If you hadn’t, he would have killed you,” she reasons, an edge of desperation to her voice that she ignores, “And I’ve killed people too. It’s the only reason we’re both still here,” she smiles sadly, her hand on his cheek as she holds him in place, “Does that make it hard for you to look at me?” 

He shakes his head immediately, his eyebrows furrowing as if the mere idea was ridiculous, “Of course not,” he says emphatically, “Never.” 

“Then it’s not going to make it hard for me to look at you,” she says, making a point of reaching for his hand, of smoothing her fingers over the still healing cuts on his knuckles, “We survived,” she looks up at him, making eye contact as she kisses his hand, soothes away the damage both physical and mental, the scars she couldn’t see but knew were there, “We survived, and now we’ve got to try and live. As best as we can,” she kisses him, her lips firm against his, and she barely pulls back, her breath skipping across his face as she speaks, “Together.” 

He nods, pulling her closer, his grip on her fierce. She holds him back just as tightly, seeking comfort as easily as she gives it. 

“Together.” 

-x-

Me to me: you will not write a sequel…you will not write a sequel…

-x-

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[havendance]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

Thanks to @androxys for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

81! A fair number of those are drabbles, but still. Writing fic for (checks notes) 8 years really adds up.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

335,515

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, I am very invested in writing for DC comics and not doing much else, but in the past I've flitted from fandom to fandom, writing for various cartoons/tv shows and video games mainly.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

v) #Justice4Gotham -- My NML epistulary/blog fic. I think this one has the advantage of being a social media AU of sorts, but I really am quite happy that one of my No Man's Land fics made it into the top five. I still think this one is very fun.

vi) You Can't Spell Kuzon without Zuko -- My Zuko and Aang are childhood friends fic. I do like this fic and I'm glad that I was finally able to finish it after sitting blocked on it for nearly two years, but I honestly don't consider it one of my top fics in terms of response. It clearly has picked up a good number of kudos, but it felt like commenters were more interested what potentially happened next rather than the Aang and Zuko of what I'd put on the page that was what compelled me to write it in the first place.

iii) One Scar to Find Them -- This was my AtlA platonic soulmate AU where the entire gaang shares scars. I really liked soulmate AUs when I was younger, mainly because I liked all the various mechanics and I think this was the last hurrah of that. And also I thought it would be wild if everyone had Zuko's scar. I remember writing this all out in my notebook in bright pink pen and then letting it sit there for ages before I finally cleaned it up.

ii) Let's Steal a Fire Prince -- My Leverage x AtLA crossover. This was the first multi-chapter fic I actually finished so I am proud of it for that, even if looking back I can see some of my growing pains. I was really glad that other people loved this crossover idea as much as I did and I would've loved to come back to this universe more if I a) could actually write heists and b) didn't get sucked into other fandoms 😅

i) Former Hopes and Future Scars -- Another AtLA fic. I'm not surprised that this is my top fic since it's a) focused on Zuko, b) features Time Travel, and c) is a contained one-shot under 2k .

All but one of these are for Avatar: the Last Airbender which I think is a reflection of me writing during the pandemic-era AtLA renaissance and it also just being more broadly approachable compared to my comics stuff.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep! I wasn't always super consistent with it, but I try and respond to every comment now.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, this one's a hard one, there are so many good contenders! Probably You Will Live Forever (the dragonslayer!Willow fic I co-wrote with my bro Baz for the Owl House), but I would also like to give an honorable mention to I just keep falling now that you're gone the angsty next generation Miraculous Ladybug fic I wrote early in my fanfic writing career in which Adrien becomes the next Hawkmoth and his and Marinette's kids have to go up against him.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably some supremely fluffy fic I wrote for a ship event back when I was doing those. Other than that, maybe Robins Don't Make Great Roommates or Top 10 Secret Identity Fails? I don't think I really write super fluffy/happy endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never really gotten hate per se on the fics themselves. I did get a review on a fic I posted to fanfiction.net once that was complaining that I had rated it K but used like, a single swear word I think. I also got a couple of anons on tumblr that were really didn't like the premise of one of my fics, but I just thought it was kind of silly that they were that upset about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes. I have written so many crossovers. I'm honestly a little surprised the crossover bug hasn't bitten me for my comics fic more. I've done a couple Batman/Sandman crossover fics, but it feels different with them both being comics and also both published by DC.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of fortunately!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have written several Owl House fics with my beloved bro and co-conspirator @horatiocomehome. I'd love to cowrite something with him again some time but we are sadly currently obsessed with different fandoms. I'm also not opposed to trying co-writing with someone new!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not super into shipping so this one's kind of tricky. If I had to choose maybe Ireneides from the Queen's Thief series or Celes/Locke from FFVI. I was also deeply committed to Sakura/Kaze from Fire Emblem: Fates, when I was younger, but the secret super AU version with a ton of lore from the elaborate AUs I daydreamed up.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

For wips I have published, I'm either confident in my ability to finish them, or else have just excepted that I won't. In terms of wips that haven't made it to the light of day: Black Queen. I started writing this and got stuck but oh, it would be so fun.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think coming up with AUs. I like playing with all the pieces and figuring out how things ripple and change.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I've done much with this, but if I did I'd probably use dialogue tags so like "'My name is john," John said in Chinese' if the narrator knew the language and "John said something in Chinese' if they didn't.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Fire Emblem: Fates, baby

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Picking favorites is so hard ;; It would be a lie to say I love all my fics equally, but I do think I can say that I do love them all, even the very first ones I wrote. I guess for purposes of this game, I'll go with World Gone MAD because I am still very satisfied with how it turned out, but because I can't just pick one, I'd also like to give a shout out to Neither Heir nor Spare (The Sole Survivor) for being the fic that I think is pretty up there in terms of ones I reread the most and Turnabout Traitor! for being a very fun She Ra x Ace Attorney crossover.

Tagging, uhhh, @horatiocomehome, @acediscowlng, @dustorange and if anyone else is interested, consider yourselves tagged in spirit!

[not-poignant]

if ur still doing the writing meme (i've liked all ur answers even the 'unpopular' ones a haikyuu fic i loved once got rewritten and i'm still sad i never saved the first one because i didn't realize the author didn't like it and i wish i'd commented more or sth to make them know we loved the og so much) -> 13 and 34 plz

Ahh I'm sorry you went through that anon re: the Haikyuu! fic. Please don't guilt-trip yourself for it. Authors have lots of reasons for rewriting a fic, or deleting a fic, and sometimes even when it's had thousands of kudos they will still do it.

It sounds like you commented in general (since you say 'commented more' instead of just commented) which is like... really awesome. Who knows, maybe the author thought they were giving you the better version! You can always leave a comment and ask if they still have the original chapters on file somewhere if that author's still active, and if they'd be willing to share them with you somehow.

Now to the meme:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I was going to answer this with 'easy, everything I don't write' lmao because I just avoid the stuff I find hardest. But that's kind of...not the point. So in all seriousness:

Big ensemble scenes with big ensemble casts. I don't know why I insist on writing these a fair bit, but anything that has more than two characters in a scene is a struggle. More than four is like 'OH GOD.' It's just a lot of work in a different kind of way.

Happy endings. It's not that they're difficult to write, exactly, it's that I'm often...kind of sad to be letting go of the story and I feel like I've already let it go at the point that I'm writing the happy ending. Like, I am not happiest when I'm writing the happy ending, though I want it to feel really really good for readers. I love happy endings, but I also get really noticeable lag and slow down a bit towards the end of stories, because I have less motivation. An ending means letting go of that version of the world, or that installment, and my brain is like 'dun wanna.'

Beginnings/openings. I don't really enjoy the first few pages of a first chapter and I know I'm not often good at beginnings which further preys on my 'everyone is going to hate this story' insecurity I have at the beginning of a new thing.

Action scenes used to be in this but they're not as much anymore. But I do really struggle with sex scenes too! And I think that's a reason I don't write them as much as I used to. It's not a bad thing, one of the reasons they're harder is because I want them to be good and I just don't want to do carbon copies of previous sex scenes and I've now written like 200 of them.

As for things I find easy, hmm. I'm going to go with broadscale characterisation and dialogue. I also think generating character and place names is really easy, and inventing species to populate a new world is easy. I also think describing nature is easy for me, though I sometimes feel silly or like...I'm boring people when I describe it, so I try not to do it toooo much.

I'm bad at writing description but hilariously I don't find it difficult. x.x Maybe that's why I'm bad at it.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

*takes a breath*

Since you don't mind unpopular opinions I hope you don't mind this one: I fucking don't rate the Oxford Comma and try to avoid using it wherever possible. It's really easy to avoid some of the errors an Oxford Comma can prevent through context, and frankly, the Oxford Comma can create its own issues which can be prevented through not using it. You can avoid or introduce ambiguity whether you do or don't use it, basically, one solves some problems and introduces others, the other solves some problems and introduces others.

In that sense, it's understandable why it's not mandated in many style guides. It is preferable in US English, but damn, I'm not from the USA. And the Oxford Style Guide recommends it but the Oxford Style Manual recommends against it. Australian Style Guides, including the one issued by the government, generally oppose its use, but it's not mandated, so it's really at the author's discretion.

I've tried using it. Like, I've sat down and thought 'right I'm going to give this a good shot' and I just really don't like it. So you'll see a handful here and there in my writing where I thought 'okay let's try it' and then just been like nahhhh.

I have no problems with other people using it, and those people can have all the extra commas I'm not using because damn, they'll need them. :D

--

From the Weird Questions for Writers meme!

[rollercoasterwords]

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

[myshadesofwrong]

I have such mixed feelings about seeing Edvin, Felicia, Fabian and all their friends in Italy on vacation.

Mostly, I'm happy for them. They look like their having fun and enjoying life and that's all I ever want for most people.

That said, I am also quite jealous for numerous reasons. One is simply money. It must be nice to have enough money to travel to another country, rent a beautiful house, and spend at least a week there. Last week alone, I worked over 50 hours including one 13 hour day and my paycheck will barely be more than average. I know for many people including actors, that can be normal but compensation makes a difference. I'll give you one guess what glorious (*sarcasm) country I live in. I'm tired of working every extra hour I can and barely having enough for bills. I'm just tired.

Mostly, though, I'm jealous of their friendship and that they even went together on vacation. Let me explain. I don't have any friends. I rarely did. Growing up I had "friends" in the sense of having people to hang out with at school but we rarely hung out after school, rarely did things together unless it was dances or something like that. And when we graduated, I never heard from anyone again. And the older I got the worse it got. I've tried and tried to make friends but they all leave or they say we're friends but never invite me to join them or hang out and eventually shut me out. I never had any close friends and never had what should be very common experiences.

It really slammed home last week when I was reading some asks on an Edvin blog and someone made the comment of it was obvious some fans were never close enough to have never followed the parents of their friends. I've never done that and it was such a strange concept to me. Though, keep in mind, I'm a fair bit older than most of Edvin's fan and social media didn't really become a thing until I was in college/university. But even now, I'm simply not close enough to anyone to do that and would actually feel a little awkward to do it to be honest, but that's me.

Anyway, the fact is that I just don't have friends. No one to hang out with, celebrate birthdays, have dinner with, go on vacation with, no one to post silly pics on birthdays or just because. No one to fangirl over things like Young Royals, Disney, Taylor Swift, or anything else. I don't even have anybody to text with really. Seeing Edvin and Felicia and all their friends just reminds me of how very lonely I am and have always been, all much I missed out on. I'm envious of something that is so natural and easy for most people. Most people have friends. Most people have these kinds of experiences. And I just never did.

Again, this is not on Edvin or Felicia or Mimi or Wilma or Fabian. They don't know or care that I exist and I hope they have many more vacations with their friends and continue to be comfortable to share them. Like I said, I truly love seeing people getting to have those experiences and living life the way it should be. I hope everybody does.

This was more just to get my own thoughts down about it. It was something that has been on my mind since last week and I needed to get it out.

It's interesting though. Most people dream of romance and finding that perfect partner. All I have ever wanted was friends.

[truckfreaks]

had such an funny array of experiences the other night at that bar and I've been reflecting on it and wanting to write about it very much.....

on one hand i saw my friends sibling who i haven't seen in quite a while, and he was more outwardly open and excited and chatty than hes been for probably the whole ten years I've known him. like, he even invited me to his bands show? he never invites anyone! he's notorious in our crowd for being very, like... idk. ive heard lots of things - "particular", "difficult to work with", perfectionist... but he was totally different.

he brought his new boyfriend along, and we all had a long silly talk about sneaking into cons when we were kids, navigating the precarious world of gender soup (he understands my soup probably better than anyone, cis trans or otherwise, that I've ever met! it felt great!), the different creative projects were working on (he went to college for video game soundtrack composition at a really prestigious school - super talented!), got really excited when we realized we never had any idea one another had bugsonas and excitedly shared art of our respective bug guys... oh and his boyfriend recognized Dr. Habit on my phone lock/background?! it was the first time anyone's ever recognized anything SFM related on me in the wild ! so that was cool!

and on the other hand... my friend (his brother)'s girlfriend who i've been trying to give an honest fair shake in getting to know was there as well. and like, i think surface wise most people look at her and assume she's like, very ... leftist? and I'm sure she thinks she is, too. but every time i talk to her she sneaks in some kinda backhanded comment about women. i get a big internalized misogyny plus Italian familial politics vibe. and i found myself talking to her abt similar topics, because she said to me she's never seen her boyfriends brother so animated before! and i said well this might be my personal experience coloring things, but being out makes a massive difference in someone's ability to just, like, exist happily! and she wasn't sure what i meant by that, so i explained, and she was like "oh, well i guess i don't understand why you're choosing to identify in a neutral or masc leaning way but you dress like a girl?" and i explained that first off, i appreciate not getting it, but the first step is recognizing that there is no one right way to be a man or a woman, and if we accept gender nonconforming behavior from cis people then why don't we accept it from trans people? why do i have to be a caricature of manhood for you to see me as transmasc? and it kind of got through to her but... not entirely, because her line of questioning was a little ... invasive and unkind in a bad faith way (i have a LOT of patience for folks who may "get it wrong" but engage with me in a good faith way). like she was tryna play gotcha or something.

and i suppose the juxtaposition - people who are quietly queer suddenly becoming loudly queer and, as a result, happier, vs. people who are vocally supportive, but only when a person fits their narrative of what a queer person should look or act like... well. it was not lost on me!

and it also reminded me that sometimes, when you get a vibe about a person, you should trust your gut! it's ok to think, yeah, this isn't a nice person, im gonna protect myself! because if i continued engaging with her, the conversation might have gone very poorly. it certainly has in the past. (for example, apparently bee and puppycat was, and i quote, "too woke" for her. she got really mad when i laughed about it and realized with horror that she wasn't kidding). i feel bad for my friend (her boyfriend) for being in the middle of it, sorta. he's a easygoing simple dude who is wildly supportive of his brother and however he chooses to identify, and frankly i don't think he knows a whole lot about this side of his girlfriend because to him, he doesn't really seek out those kinda conversations. not obviously that it's never come up, but yeah. i know him well enough to know he doesn't share those feelings with her, and it's always really shocking to me to hear her express them - but always when he isn't around. so much so that in the past when I've expressed concern about it, he didn't believe me at first! (then other folks started saying the same thing.)

idk. life is cool and weird and i am happy to be a cool and weird little guy.

[eldritchsurveys]

1166.

Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? >> I don't remember if Sparrow's parents separated and got back together or divorced and remarried. I think it actually was the latter, I seem to recall having commented on that specifically because of how that must have went over from a Catholic perspective (which is what they are). Personally, I couldn't imagine giving a fuck about what two other people do with their relationship, particularly people that mean nothing to me.

Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? >> I don't. Sparrow used to do that, long ago. I wonder why they stopped. Doesn't matter, I guess.

Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? >> I don't much care for Johnny Depp's specific brand of acting in general anymore, but my favourite role of his is still Edward Scissorhands.

Why did you/your parents choose to live where you do now? Would you move right now if you were able to? Why/why not? If so, where would you like to go? >> I didn't choose to live here, exactly, but this is where Sparrow lives, so this is where I ended up. I would move in a heartbeat if I could, especially if it gets me closer to the Equator where I surely belong.

If someone broke into your house and robbed you, what could they take that would piss you off or upset you the most? To what lengths would you go to get it back? Has something like this already happened to you before? >> Anything out of my room. I don't know what lengths even exist to go to in that situation, because I've never been in it (I've had various things stolen from me, but I just let them go because I knew I couldn't get them back).

Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? >> I was afraid of thunderstorms and other forms of inclement weather as a child, and that doesn't seem silly to me even though I definitely am not afraid of them now. Inclement weather can be dangerous. It's a perfectly sensical fear. The only part that's a bit silly is that I didn't seem to grok that the stuff I was reading about in books about strange weather phenomena were, well, strange. Not things that were liable to happen on any given Thursday. So I was afraid of, say, ball lightning, as if ball lightning could just come shooting through my house at any second.

Do you like coffee? >> I do.

When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? >> I don't do this.

Do you eat your dinner at a dining table, coffee table or just off your lap? >> I eat on my bed, which is where I do everything. Did you go to high school with your current best friend? . Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? >> I can't do that, I don't have an income. How many cars can fit in your driveway? >> I don't know, three or four? No one parks in the driveway, there's a garage.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face? >> I have.

Last person you took a nap with? >> Can Calah.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? >> I don't automatically feel sad when anyone cries.

Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them later? >> I did this twice (same person).

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? . Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? >> I know Can Calah has feelings for me. I can feel them. Have you ever been punched in the face? >> Several times.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? >> I'm not, but I do have my fair share of vengeful ideation. I just can't be bothered to enact them. Vengeance seems very high-risk low-reward.

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with? >> Sure. Who is the last person to call you gorgeous? . Do you think a lot before you fall asleep? >> Sure, if I just lay there aimlessly waiting to feel sleepy.

Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? .

Do you like it when people call you babe? >> I have no feelings about it whatsoever. Sparrow sometimes does it (not as much as they used to... huh, there's a pattern here), and it didn't make me feel one way or the other.

Would you ever get your nipples pierced? >> I did strongly consider it for a while but I was afraid of losing sensitivity. So I never did. Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? >> It does bother me and it does hurt. But it's a brief experience, at least. Besides, everything about the dentist is awful for me, so getting a shot barely registers as worth mention.

Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? >> Never.

Do you have a lot of self-discipline? >> I don't know, I'm not interested in self-discipline in the first place. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? >> I haven't. What’s something that has upset you lately? >> I don't remember the last thing that upset me. The last time I was upset, it wasn't directed at anything in particular.

What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? . Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? >> I have.

What’s your favorite kind of soup? >> I don't know, but I had HopCat's roasted red pepper bisque again yesterday and I'd forgotten how good that was.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? >> I haven't.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? >> I will not.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? >> I can't think of an anniversary that I actively celebrate. I technically have two wedding anniversaries and still don't really do anything for them, lol. What will be the next concert you attend? >> I wish I knew. Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? >> Not in person.

When was the last time you had a hangover? >> I've never been truly hungover.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? >> I don't own many, I own a few.

Who was the last person you texted? .

When was the last time you felt like letting it all out and having a cry? >> Thursday morning, according to my diary.

When was the last time someone made you feel like an idiot? . Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? .

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? >> I think that was Mertens Prime, for our pre-Goth Prom dinner.

Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? >> I don't listen to audiobooks at all, so. What is your favorite book? >> The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell.

What is something you're insecure about? >> Just... *waves hand vaguely over my entire existence*

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment? >> Not killing myself or otherwise dying? I don't accomplish big things, otherwise. Small things, certainly, but not big.

[cbncb0280]

Inequality Between Different Generations

A/N: This is based on something that happened irl to me and my cousin, going against traditional views of the older generation for good reasons...

All Rights Reserved - only copied onto a writing contest with my permission.

I was having dinner at the table while not being interrupted by anyone since they were all planning to go out somewhere. Sure yes, I'm not the greatest fan of art museums or historical houses, but I didn't want to ruin the fun of my family.

I prefer water activities and things which help me released dopamine and serotonin. So this is why I decided to write some funny quotes me and my cousins shared of our parents and other family members.

Unfortunately, my father saw.

"Essiana, you don't write in your notebook at the table as it's impolite. Put it down please." He spoke.

"But Dad, no one is talking to me and I'm only writing my own personal notebook, so what's the point?"

"Essiana, I won't tell you again."

"Dad, I will not let you boss me around like this as you and Mum always do! It's my book and I'm not harming anyone."

"Essiana, do I have to get up and take it away?"

"No, I won't let you!" I began to shout rudely since I was getting angry. "Why is it so impolite when no one is speaking to me?"

My cousin, Catherine, seemed to go against my father's wishes.

"Essiana, this is your final warning." He got up and stood by me, as though he was taking control of the situation. Everyone across the table heard me shout.

"What's the point? Your views are just irrational and unfair! I never did anything immoral or cruel to anyone!"

"Give it to me."

"What's going on?" My aunty Patricia asked.

I refused and became silent. I told him to go away and had just as much power over the situation as he did. We are two very stubborn people with different views on the world.

He was just like Mr. Birling ('An Inspector Calls' character) in that way by promoting ridiculous traditional views. He told me not to do it again then he went away.

I was really mad and looked stupid to everyone else. My grandparents supported my father's views along with my aunt and uncle.

My uncle was like a practical man of business orientation, who seemed to worry a lot about money and reputation. Just like Mr. Birling, except he's not as bad and uncaring as the character.

As for myself, I deeply oppose money and even question whether it should even exist or not due to all the problems it can cause to several people around the world. "Money is the root to all kinds of evil." This is a Bible quote I strongly agree with.

Later on once me and my cousin were nicknaming my mum just for a bit of a laugh, my mum stated that we should show her more respect despite being mostly soft-spoken and not really taking it as an offense.

"Honestly Catherine. I should expect more respect from you. Same for you Essiana. I am your mother."

"But Mum, I'd tease anyone like this unless they seriously didn't like it," I commented.

"Goodness me, we'd never speak to our relatives like that. It's just not something we'd do and you should feel the same way."

"But Mum, you're a human being like the rest of us. Your parents and relatives are humans beings too. Is there anything wrong in having a little laugh?"

"I am your mother though. The Bible says to respect your parents."

"Only if they give you the right sort of wisdom, e.g. not to murder or steal."

"Essiana!" My mum said in shock.

"But why should I respect silly rules such as answering you whether I've brushed my teeth or been to the toilet? You ask me this constantly and I can't answer such silly questions."

"But I don't trust you. You wouldn't get on with it if I didn't ask you to. I know that."

"That's not fair or true. Just cus I leave things 'til the last minute..."

My cousin then started to agree to what I was saying. She had witnessed the ways my mother constantly bossed me around.

Without stopping, I carried on speaking out and challenging the traditional views. No one would stop me.

"Mum, I watched a film called 'Ariel's Beginning' once. In the film, Ariel's father Triton had banned music because he was upset about the death of his wife. Then once he spotted people listening to it, he got really angry and especially when Ariel spoke out against it."

"Yes, but we never banned music. This is different."

"She's just giving an example, Rayla," Catherine commented.

"Yes, but we don't give rules like that."

With this quote stated, I started to cry.

"See why I don't respect what you say at times? It's because I'm constantly bossed around with the most basic things. I'm not usually being taught the right kind of wisdom."

My father mimicked me.

"Progesterone and oestrogen..." he laughed.

That's it. He had really pushed the limit. Everyone else except myself and my two cousins seemed to agree with my parents' words. I cried even more and Catherine stormed off out of the dining room and into the garden.

I had no idea that she was crying. Our relatives were wondering where she had got to and my Aunty Patricia believed that I had upset her.

My mother explained the situation as I left the room in my anger. Then I heard them discussing the situation.

"Essiana just doesn't think, does she?" My grandfather stated as though it was a matter of fact.

"She'll find out the truth when she's older." My father had a good laugh at my words.

"Typical teenager!" Aunty Patricia stated boastfully.

What pure ignorance! How dare they say that! With courage, I went out of the house into the garden too, whether I had permission or not. Seriously, it's just the garden and neither myself or Catherine would travel anywhere else. Neither would we mess up the garden and trample all over the plants especially, as if!

Without surprise, I found Catherine crying. She was moaning to herself about everything that had happened in the dining room while wandering around a small sort of hut in circles. Immediately, I walked over to her and asked her if she was upset because of what had just happened.

"They just weren't listening to you!" She commented while sulking.

"I know," I replied calmly, "they don't seem to understand us as the Younger Generation. They tend to view us as stupid and naive with our words and quotes."

"If only I could get Inspector Goole involved! He would not be happy with them at all!"

"So true!"

We shared a good laugh. Inspector Goole (from 'An Inspector Calls') would more than likely not have been happy with the Older Generation's views at all. I was only speaking out for myself and not trying to make fun of my mother in really bad ways.

"Essiana, your mum just never listened to you and took on board the example you said about Triton and Ariel. Everyone looked at you as though you were stupid and ignorant."

"They were the ones who were being ignorant. It's like putting younger people down and treating them like inferiors when such people state to 'respect the wisdom of your elders', unless it's about true morality or something absolutely essential. As if!"

"I totally agree. People in the Older Generation are promoting old-fashioned views and that we need to get money and a job as an almost every day life task to survive off. They've made money become everything and think we'll need to survive with a lack of free time off!"

"Exactly! Unless someone personally enjoys their job, why can't people have more than just 5-6 weeks of time off a year? It's extremely unfair and makes no true purpose in life. To be honest, I will sound very dark here, but unless I get the free plus self-employed job I want, I may even consider committing suicplus since there would be no point living just for money!"

"I understand where you're coming from. Our parents and grandparents believe that a 9-5 job is the only way to survive."

"However, we as the Younger Generation can help to change things one day. Such as fighting for more freedom and equality between all people."

"Yes but the world won't listen."

"Not unless we keep fighting for what is right. To be fair, I actually question what are true morals. I mean like... universal morals. What three things would you consider to be true morals?"

"Hmmm... perhaps not to kill, steal and cause harm and violence to others?"

"So true! Do you really think that getting a 9-5 job and not having enough freedom while being miserable is a true moral?"

"No. Not at all. That's the complete opposite of one since the world would be making someone feel miserable."

"This is probably the case with our parents. Deep down, they controlled while they want their freedom. Since rules are generally more strict for adults, it's highly possible that they feel used and helpless somewhere underneath them. So they pass their 'wisdom' onto the Younger Generation. Having said that, history does not have to repeat itself. Truly, if we work together and never give up, we can change it."

"True. I absolutely agree with you."

Suddenly, my mum came walking out to find us then we both walked in front of her.

"Hello, you two. We were worried about you. Why don't you come in?" She asked.

"Rayla," Catherine began to speak, "we just needed some space."

Eventually, we all walked in and Aunty Patricia was very cross with Catherine.

"Cathy, why didn't you let us know where you had been?" She sounded really annoyed.

"Mum, I just needed some space," Catherine answered glumly.

"Next time, please tell us where you're going in future."

"But Patricia," I began, "I also went outside."

"I don't need to tell you off. I'm not your mother. Catherine is my daughter." She replied.

How dare she say that!

"That is so immoral!" I courageously spoke out.

"Essiana!" My mother started to speak. "You must never say that to your aunt! You should apologise!"

"But she's a human and has the right to understand actual morals," I protested angrily.

I was now exploding. I stormed off and cried while my poor cousin was unfairly told off. For crying out loud, not even my parents would do this to me. How mean!

Needing space, I went onto my tablet and released all my emotions onto my activity on Quotev. My friend, Anci felt rather sorry for me. She related to the situation too since she had been through a somewhat similar experience from what she implied.

With all this, I decided to post it as a story onto Quotev and spread my word of inequality between different generations. Here is an example of one I have just explained.

A/N: This is copied from my Quotev. But thanks for reading dis anyway and feel free to tell me whatcha think. :)

[espies-galaxy]

8 Things I'd Do If I Won The $454 million Mega Millions Jackpot

Dear World,

Here I am on my way home with my parents, and we stopped for some lottery tickets because, one, why not, and two, because the Mega Millions Jackpot is $454 million. There is a lot I could do with that sort of money. I'll let you know what I would do if you told me what you would do in the comments.

1. I could donate money to charities of my choice. Those charities would be Special Olympics, S. June Smith Center, The Alpha Sigma Alpha Foundation, and Habitat for Humanity. I know a fair share of those are from my sorority, but it shouldn't matter. Everyone can use help in some way. But it is more than just charity I would donate to. I would donate to my university and help them build more excellent buildings for housing and such. I'd like to develop a scholarship for students in Mass Communication because although there are scholarships, there are few. So I would like to help out my fellow mass comm friends.

2. I would move...It sounds silly, but I would like to move to Florence, Italy, and have a nice little apartment above a shop which I would turn into a bakery. I have always wanted my own bakery, and if I had that sort of money, I could do it! And I would contemplate maybe buying a castle somewhere just for giggles, and well, what else would you do with that much money.

3. Bye-bye student loans. I would still finish school because education is really important.

4. I would probably travel. I have an app called Been, and it is an app that lets you track where you have been. So like, I have been to Spain, France, Monaco, Italy, and the Vatican, so I would mark those down. For the United States, you can mark the states you have been to, so I've done that as well. Who wouldn't want to go any and everywhere they could?

5. I would invest money in stocks. Not that I need anymore money, but because I feel like that is a cool adult thing to do.

6. I would help my family pay off school loans as well. They have given and done so much for me that it is only fair to give back.

7. I would help my sorority chapter overturn the dumb law that says no more than five unblood-related women can live together because it is considered a brothel, that is why my future sisters could have a house. I feel like that is a huge part of the experience for sororities.

8. I would love to start a foundation for homeless veterans that would give them the help needed to get back on their feet and be able to live healthy and safely.

Some of this may seem trivial to some of you, but it really doesn't matter because it would be my money. However, I think it is interesting to see how people would spend that money.

Sincerely,

I Didn't Win The Lottery

(originally written by me on July 11, 2016)

p.s. as of 4.25.2023, I still haven't won the lottery...

[mangostarjam]

to be fair to us both, i ALSO forgot about read mores and i use them for writing asdfkjlgkl

omg that's so cute... we're writing letters to each other... like pen pals !! i did save this to reply to for when i got on my computer bc i wanted to be able to yap freely HAHA and now it feels even more like writing a letter

it does make me feel like i'm cosplaying an adult (i am an adult) (legally anyway) when i mention my assistant lmao but it's really just the nature of my job that kinda requires me to have one! waiting for the day he can do things without me supervising and i can devote more brain space to all the things i wanna write for fun

panes con pollo looks SO DELICIOUS WHAT. omg i can't wait for you to learn it and have that in your back pocket! you're sooo lucky she's willing to teach you gah i love when people share recipes like that it's like a love language to me. i just laughed out loud at the image of you grinding up dried fig leaves and your bf like, sleepily rubbing at his eye to make sure he wasn't seeing things in the middle of the night HAHA

YEAAAAAH BUDDY okay honestly you can spell cambodian food however sounds right to you and i will most likely get it and will not be offended LMAO i don't think english letters really gel well with khmer sounds. anyway that sounds so bomb. clay pot pork belly... was it like. kaw sach chrouk? oh but with prahok... hmm... INTERESTING i wanna try that it sounds pretty good! absolutely i will share if i think of anything helpful!! ah but while i have recipes in my head, my family does a lot of freehand instinctive cooking (and i didn't grow up in the kitchen, so i've been sticking to baking (thank you, clear instructions!) until i have the freedom to experiment in my own place) [insert silly family trauma backstory here] but ooh i fucking LOVE samlor kako the pumpkin bits are my favorite! i can't believe i've found someone in the wild who loves prahok HAHA but if it was going to be anyone, it does feel like it would be you with your incredible tastebuds!!

i think we had opposite growing up experiences LOL i could not and would not shut up as a kid and now it's like... you've gotta be in my inner circle if you ever wanna hear my personal thoughts. i can do small talk and coworkers and whatnot just fine but good luck prying anything else out of me unless we are Vibing from the get go. omg though not class president!!! that's so big i'd be nervous as hell too!!

YES SHARE YOUR CANDLES!! i am currently banned from getting more candles but i recently got gifted the honeycrisp apple candle from trader joe's and i'm so basic but it smells SOOO good i'm burning it today bc i did a full bedding-sheets-blankets wash and flipped the mattress and worked out and showered and did a face mask and it's just. dreamy. okay though that nest holiday candle sounds DIVINE?? even if it's the size of a small trash can LMAO and i love that you keep it tied to the holidays!! this isn't a scent thing but now that i no longer work in retail (where holiday music would haunt me), i play n*sync's "home for christmas" album every weekend of december bc that's what i listened to as a kid and it immediately makes me feel like the holidays can be magical again.

oof okay i feel like i'm really yapping a lot right now but i love citrus scents any time of the year, apple and pear for fall, and green tea scents for spring. i'll dig out my candles sometime to give you a proper list haha but overall i don't tend to enjoy the really reaaaally floral scents (i do love jasmine though)!

also can i just say. i am about to go into your ask box to say this again but waking up to your comments and tags on my writing like. made me tear up. made me feel like i should keep sharing my writing if that means people like you will enjoy it!! with so much love in my heart (wow that sounds so corny but it's TRUE) thank you 💕

fuji!! how are you doing on this fine day lovely lady? i'm responding to our thread here bc idk what the etiquette is on reblogging long ass conversations on the same thread lmao so to be safe i'll just send u a new ask.

soupmates is so cute and i love when typos become canon jargon in friendships hehe. you've made me crave croissants again and i am wistfully thinking of how we have a rule that while we're in france, if one of us asks "what time is it?" the other is legally obligated to respond "croissant o'clock" and then we go find a boulangerie. this is how we end up eating 8 croissants/day whenever we're there.

wttcsms is on my deep dive list too!! every time i see them on my dash i'm like how does it feel to never be wrong? ack i've just been so busy that the only time i have to trawl tumblr is during my unhinged insomnia hours when i'm only half aware of what i'm keyboard vomiting lmao NO FILTER only screeching.

okay not mushrooms but this weekend i was busy running around the kitchen experimenting with my lil hoard of fig leaves! i made fig leaf syrup, fig leaf oil, and experimented with dehydrating and freezing the leaves for preservation. i also tested different ratios of toasted fig leaves and pandan in creme brulee and panna cotta so i could see how the flavors bloom in dairy in preparation for the idea i had for my cake. then i gave all the excess treats to baristas at our fave local coffee joints bc i'm not a huge sweet tooth and this was tew much dessert! after i found a ratio i thought worked, i made the cake except i'm afraid it's going to turn out hideous (it's still in its cake ring rn) but it's basically a first draft cake and i can refine it next time! you should see the notes i took on it. i always try to start with a neat plan and end up scribbling all over it with ideas and corrections.

tonight we've invited a couple of our friends over so i can do a fig leaf-inspired dinner with hamachi crudo with fig leaf oil, tomato bisque with fig leaf oil drizzle and crouton, slow roasted salmon in fig leaves (finished with a sear from our bernzomatic + searzall bc crispy salmon skin is life), and the fig leaf and strawberry cake. my friend also got cheesybf a new cocktail set for his bday so we can use the fig leaf syrup to make some nice gin cocktails or a fig leaf strawberry mocktail!

right now i'm munching on leftover crying tiger steak and nam jim jaew for lunch with jasmine rice that i steamed with some of the leftover pandan leaves for extra ~aroma. i still have a ton of leaves so i think i'm gonna make a pandan simple for my favorite matcha pandan lattes.

re: urls haha YES chopsticks are the best way to eat flaming hot cheetos and no one can change my mind. i always think of puffins when i think of my own username. those cute lil round birds. with like a lil cheese hat. i also associate you with apples now as we move into fall. but mentally my picture of you is a swirl of the colors in a kent mango, scented by mango skin by vilhelm and just a hint of kilian's apple brandy on the rocks. maybe a waft of mfk 724 and something like clean cotton or a soft white floral.

HAHAHA totally fair i just realized it was getting long maybe i should put my responses under a read more LOL

i'm responding a day (??) late (time is fake) bc i had to recover from how gorgeous your cake looked and sounded tbh. but i'm good!! my new assistant at work is picking things up quickly and has common sense which is sadly in short supply around here lmaooo

there's a vietnamese bakery in my hometown that makes the BEST croissants i've ever had in my life (though tbf i have not been to paris yet!) and they supply all the local taquerias with bolillo so they are Churning Out Breads but i cannot emphasize enough that it's like. a warehouse space. with a door on a side street and the price list handwritten and they only recently started accepting anything but cash. i love them. the croissants are huge and lightly buttery and delicious. i will now be declaring it's croissant o'clock any time we happen to drive nearby haha

wttcsms and dee my beloveds!!! on behalf of all writers though i will say no filter unhinged screaming comments/tags are GREAT to read. i hope your busyness is the good kind!! it's always lovely seeing you pop up on the dash or inbox or wherever but i hope you're having a good time here >ᴗ<

oh my goddddd your fig leaf experiments... divine. glorious. something about the description of "seeing how the flavors bloom in dairy" is just. dreamy?? you sound like a wizard creating your own magical spell book tome with your scribbles and notes and ideas (saying this in SUCH a complimentary way). crispy salmon skin IS life i just had some last night hehe i had to look up crying tiger steak and nam jim jaew but YOOO this reminds me of duk prahok... yum. and oh my god crying tiger steak is like. a summer staple for us. i never knew it had a NAME. not to over share but my family is from cambodia and i have so many recipes in my brain that i just figured were things my dad created LOL

AND I LOVE PUFFINS!!! in like second grade i did a report/presentation on puffins unprompted unsolicited to my class. i read a book about them and was obsessed i wanted everyone to learn about them (yes i am/was a nerd) (bless my teacher for letting me present lmao). and i do love apple scented things mmm. one of my favorite candles ever is autumn air from elder&co (notes of wild apple and pear and fallen oak leaves). i'm so glad it's getting cloudy and cozy season is coming bc i can light my candles without feeling too silly. do you have any favorite candles?? oh these other scents are SO GOOD. i love that!! brb going to find a way to smell these immediately

[turnaboutimagines]

its been 2 years, how are you doing ?

It... It's actually HAS been over two years, hasn't it? That feels wrong, but I know it's not. I'm okay, though, mostly! Things aren't great, but they could be so much worse so... I'll take it.

I will say that I still have notifications for this blog, my side blogs, and my AO3 in these two years away. I have seen every single comment, message, like, reblog, and kudos. I'm so glad people have continued to read my silly little AA fanfic pieces, it means so much to me. Writing for this blog was (is?) such a joy that it still brought a smile to my face to see someone engage with my tumblr and AO3. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

... Anyways, I'm playing the AA games again for the first time in a while so I may get back into writing? A very tentative maybe. Things will be different around here if I do! I'll be making new posts soon and revamping the blog. So keep an eye out! :> But for those of you who see this and are curious about where I've been or life updates, it's under the cut!

The most important thing though: I am very sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth. I didn't really want to come back here until I felt like I could stick around for more than just one post, which in my head meant potentially returning in some capacity or deciding to shut this blog down for good. And so, two years of silence has passed as a result. I am what I've always been: an anxious, awkward, and indecisive disaster.

But to those of you who read my stuff years ago and totally forgot you followed an AA imagines blog or just have no interest in AA content now, I see you and there's no shame in unfollowing as I dust things off. I just appreciate that you were here at all, pal!

Okay, now onto the personal shenanigans. Since I was last on here, I started playing with my beloved weekly D&D group (we've been playing for over 2 years now and are on our second campaign! <3), got REALLY into Critical Role and Dimension 20, graduated with my master's, landed a job right out of my practicum, read SO many wonderful books, and I'm 26 now! ...Which means that I've got way too many games and hobbies I'm interested in and not enough time/energy for any of them. :"D

I'm still just as in love with stories as ever, but I've barely written anything outside of D&D fic in 2 years.

Of course, it hasn't all been good, I've had my fair share of grieving, family drama, mental health issues, work as my personal hell, and grappling with my sense of failure and hopelessness. I've barely left my house in two years and I honestly don't remember how to socialize or be a person among other people anymore -- I barely knew to begin with. But I'm just going one day at a time and taking my time to catch back up.

But I miss writing. I'm apprehensive to post again because it's gonna be bad for a while. I am rusty. But I wanna pick it back up again. And I LOVE Ace Attorney. I love these characters. I love this setting. And I've dearly missed the whimsy and heart of this series.

My inbox is open for messages, I'll do my best to respond to things? I'll probably leave old asks in my inbox to rest, but I'll respond to any new things! For those of you who sent in anons checking on me, consider this an open letter to you, too! I got quite a few of kind anons in the past two years and I appreciate y'all taking the time to check in on me.

Thanks for reading all of this. Keep an eye out for future posts and some blog modifications but I'm signing off for now!

[lfcology]

swatches | sirius black

summary: you had loved sirius black for longer than you could remember. through two wizarding wars and a harsh time in azkaban: you were head over heels. what happens when he misunderstood your relationship? everyone lives au lowkey as it should be! 

pairing: Fem!Reader x Sirius (post books so they’re slightly older)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: misunderstandings, mention of pregnancy/getting pregnant

*

Two wars. You had survived two wars against the most powerful dark wizard ever and had no inclination to tell your longtime friend you loved him. You'd been head over heels for Sirius Black for the better part of two decades yet opted to keep your feelings to yourself – stating something about the timing not being right. But if not during a war – nay, two wars – when would the time be right? You'd been with other people, trying to get over the raven-haired beauty yet no one ever made you feel anything close to what you did with him.

He'd served years in Azkaban, convicted of some of the most heinous crimes against muggles and the reason behind his best friends death, but you knew he was innocent. Sirius Black was a lot of things but a traitor was not one of them. Now, years later, he was finally free – an innocent man to the world. Once the dark lord was defeated again, and things started to calm down, 12 Grimmauld Place wasn't needed for the order anymore so you insisted on helping Sirius clean it up.

Though you couldn't wash away the painful memories of his childhood, it didn't mean you couldn't try. Harry was old enough to live on his own now but after years apart he and Sirius wanted to catch up on lost time. The first order of business you planned was putting that horrid painting of Mrs. Black in the basement. It took a lot of spells to detach her from the wall but the relief that came across Sirius' face once she was gone was worth it. The two of you worked together tirelessly to bring brightness into the home for the first time since it was built. The Black family tree tapestry was peeled off and replaced with a fresh coat of white paint and a photo wall.

Photos of James, Lily, Marlene and other friends lost over the years lined the wall and memories flooded your senses. There were moments in time captured that reminded you of easier days. Your times at Hogwarts. Your summers at the Potters. You, Sirius and Remus, admired your handy work on the wall. You three had lost so much but the thankfulness you felt to still have each other was beyond you. Sirius wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple. Remus excused himself to spend time with Teddy, leaving you and your love alone. "Should we start clearing out some of the rooms?" You suggested despite not wanting to leave Sirius' side just yet.

He hummed in confirmation before (rather reluctantly) letting you go. The house had been empty and cold for years so in an attempt to revive it Harry, Remus, Tonks and baby Teddy were due to move in. You two started with the guest room that would become a nursery for Teddy. Magic made cleaning much easier but being around Sirius meant more time joking around than actually being productive.

"This whole bloody house smells like dirty boxes." He said with a huff and a wave of his hand to open the window.

The two of you sat for longer than you'd like to admit trying to put a crib together the muggle way. Soon you gave up and used magic, much to Sirius' dismay who insisted "it'll just be 5 more minutes". With a wave of your wand, the walls were coloured a soft sage green compared to the drab mud brown it was before. Things were finally coming together.

"Do you wonder what it's like?" Sirius asked as he set a few toys out onto the shelves.

"What what's like?" You asked from your spot at the bookshelf.

"Being a parent." He clarified.

You shrugged and put down your copy of ABCs with Merlin. "I suppose... I kind of assume I won't have kids. I'm too old now."

"Nonsense!" He replied quickly.

You raised your brows and crossed your arms. "I know you're about to mention something about Moony but shall I remind you he didn't carry the child?" You countered.

"You make it sound like you're ancient." He scoffed. "Don't rule it out, darling."

You let out a laugh and returned to your task of sorting the shelves. "It takes two to have a baby and I don't exactly have a lineup of people wanting to impregnate me.”

"I sure hope not." He said incredulously. "Now, what colour should the walls in the master room be?"

You furrowed your brows. What on earth did he mean by I sure hope not? Instead of letting yourself dwell on it later, you decided to outright ask him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked perplexed. "What? The colour of the master room?"

"No, no... that you sure hope there isn't people lined up for me?" You said crossing your arms a tad defensively.

Sirius, to put things simply, had a habit of being rude sometimes without realizing it. So, you were expecting a backhanded comment about your looks or a joke about how long you've been single. "Well, wouldn't exactly be the best for my odds." He said with a chuckle. "Now, the room colour." He repeated holding the swatches up.

"To hell with the swatches Sirius! What are you talking about!" You all but yelled at him. Was this a joke? Did he find out you were in love with him and decided to subtly tease you about it? How had he even figured it out? You felt yourself going into overdrive. You were going to kill Moony. He had to be the one to tell him after all!

"The swatch is for your room too so it does matter," Sirius said bewildered.

"What?"

"What?" He repeated making you huff. He could be so frustrating sometimes.

"What do you mean my room?"

"Well, it's gonna be our room." He clarified.

You were surprised if that's what you could call it. Sirius thought you were moving in? And sharing a room with him? What on earth was happening? "Sirius, I'm not living here? I thought it was just you, Harry and Moonys family?"

"What? Why? It's meant to be a family home!" He protested with a pout that reminded you of the ones he wore as a student not getting his way with Professor McGonagall.

"We don't have room for me if Teddy has his own room. He'll need one as he grows up." You explained.

"That makes no sense! We would share a room."

"Why the hell would we share a room? We're adults we can't just be dormmates like we're kids." You said and he gave you a disgruntled look. “We've been sharing beds for 20 years why does it matter now?" He rebutted and crossed his arms.

"Don't you want privacy?" You asked.

"For what? We're dating so I don't see why you're being so weird about this."

Now that shocked you.

"DATING?" You shouted and he chuckled softly as he took a step towards you. "Since bloody when?"

"Well, we've had a weird relationship for 20 years I just assumed? Two wars change people." He said and you gaped at him.

"Bloody hell Sirius." You said rubbing your temples. This was not how you expected to find out your feelings were returned. Was this his loneliness speaking? His trauma?

"I'm sorry if I overstepped in thinking that..." He said rubbing the back of his neck and losing his confidence. He became sheepish under your scrutiny. Maybe it wasn't so outlandish of him to assume that. You two did kiss and cuddle a fair bit more than the average friends. But Sirius had always been fond of physical affection with his friends and you chalked it up to that. You honestly never expected him to feel the same way you did.

"I-" You began before swallowing down in an attempt to collect your thoughts. "-You weren't wrong. I just never really thought you'd feel that way about me."

He scoffed. "I've felt that way since we were in 5th year!"

"That makes no bloody sense! You hooked up with half the damn school but didn't look at me." You scoffed back.

"Because I was trying to hide my feelings like a dumb teenage boy! It killed me seeing you all over Peter so I deflected the only way I knew how." He countered. You rolled your eyes. You and Peter had gone out twice before realizing you were better off as friends.

"You don't get to do this Sirius. You can't just say you've liked me for more than 20 damn years and not made a move." You said pointing your finger at him accusingly.

"Need I remind you I was in prison for half of it. And I just asked what colour you want our room to be." He replied with a huff.

You were silent. He wasn't wrong after all but in your overflow of emotions, you chose to place all the blame on him. "I..." You looked down. "I'm sorry. I just always thought I wasn't your type."

He took a step closer and gently held your shoulders. "It's my fault for not letting you know how utterly in love with you I am."

Hearing those words come out of his mouth shot electricity through your body. It was a euphoric feeling you could definitely get used to feeling all the time. You looked up at him and cupped his cheek softly. For the first time, you realized the way you looked at him was the same way he looked at you: with utter love and devotion. You were so worried about not letting your feelings for him spill that you didn't realize you'd been dating the man of your dreams this whole time. The man you'd longed for but thought was unattainable.

"I love you too..." You said through happy tears. "I have for so long."

"Now darling, what colour for our bedroom?" He said with a perfect smirk and a kiss to your temple.

It took two wars but you and Sirius were creating the silly little family you always dreamed of.

*

taglist: @writing-wh0re​

[babygirlkiki1016]

Masterlist

Chapter 1: The company

Chapter 2: The Journey Begins

I pulled the rope, fastening my bag to one of the ponies. I didn't speak to anyone the next morning, besides no one was going to try to talk to me anyway. The company would only speak to their kin, and as I passed by heading to the front of the line I was given dirty looks. Except for Kili, he smiled and waved but his brother shoved his arm down, scolding him for even looking my way. I sighed and walked past some more dwarves, and each scowl gave me a funny feeling in my heart. I couldn't understand what it was, but it hurt deeply, like knives to my soul.

"Y/n." Gandalf greeted me with a smile, letting me pass by. "Once we're out of the shire, you will scout ahead and report anything back to us." He leaned down slightly, so I could only hear. "We're also making a bet on if Bilbo is coming, wish to participate?" I looked towards the rest, they all seemed to be having fun. The talk of the Hobbit showing up again brought them entertainment.

"No, we're heading into a dark path Gandalf. If I were to partake in their silly affairs I'd only ruin the fun." He groaned, standing up straight to get on his horse.

"You know, it won't hurt to have a little bit of fun. You'll be riding with Thorin, for now, being in the front will give you the advantage to take in your surroundings." He was right, in the front of the line I would be able to listen to the woods, there was something dark out there. Something will be following us, I don't know what, but whatever it is it's not good.

"Are you sure he's alright with the idea of me riding with him?" He grimaced at the question, I should have figured Thorin wasn't going to accept it.

"He's not happy, just don't antagonize him and you'll be alright." My very presence puts him on edge, speaking of the devil he came up behind me with those blue orbs piercing into mine. He didn't say a word to me, he just climbed onto his pony looking ahead. Hesitantly I go to climb on but his hand stretched out, he was waiting for me to take it.

"Hurry up we don't have all day." He growled, quickly I pulled myself on and sat in front of him. I gasped at his warmth, it felt nice with his chest against my back. "Lead." His gruff voice made me shiver, I kicked the pony lightly and she went off. We made our way down the path, passing multiple Hobbits that were nearby. One was a child, a small girl about half the size of me. She waved with a wide grin, I couldn't help but wave back eagerly. It's been a while since I've seen children, my kind barely has any men around. The cold blast killed most of our soldiers who were men, so not a lot of children are born these days. Let's just hope those reports will save my people, and we can have a fresh start with alliances. "So, does all of your kind have wings like yours?" His question surprised me, he wanted to know more about my kin? Why? Was he planning for war?

"Why do you want to know? Are you planning to kill us all already?"

"I am just curious about your race, I haven't heard much about it. From the tales my grandfather and father told me, most don't have wings unless they're born with it."

"Hm." I knew all about their race, and the fact that he wanted to know more about mine intrigued me. "Some have wings, it depends on if you have a certain gene in your blood."

"How big is your homeland?"

"It was huge, bigger than the city of Erebor. Yet where we live now, is small considering your kind took our home." I snarled, he took a deep breath, probably to calm himself. His hands then gripped my cloak, and he pulled me against his chest roughly.

"I suggest you don't annoy me, for I won't be responsible for what happens to you on this trip." He was threatening me, I bet if we were attacked he'd leave me for dead.

"And I suggest you let go of me, I won't kill you but I think you'll be fine with a few fingers missing." I turned my head to face him, he was extremely close, our noses almost touching. Reluctantly he leaned back slightly, releasing me from his hold.

"I can't wait to reclaim my homeland, then I'll have you out of my sight. I won't have to deal with your kind anymore, your murderers. I don't know what Gandalf was thinking."

"He was thinking, that your weak, too weak to take down a dragon. If you want me to help you, I recommend you be friendly for I can easily leave you behind. I'll find a way into that mountain myself, so watch your words Thorin Oakenshield." He went to protest but was interrupted by shouting, it was Bilbo running from the entrance of the shire. We were in the middle of the woods now, I pull on the reigns to stop from going any further. Bilbo ran towards us, waving the contract in his hand, panting heavily.

"I signed it." He exclaims, panting heavily as he handed the contract to Balin. Balin pulls out a monocle to check the paper. It looked like Bilbo had brought everything from home with him.

"Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin smiles, and surprisingly it didn't disappear when his eyes met mine. The warm smile made me happy, didn't he hear the rumors people had spread about my kind? Why was he so nice to me?

"Give him a pony," Thorin ordered, nudging me to keep going which I obey.

"No, no, no, no. That-That won’t be necessary. Thank you. I’m sure I can keep up on foot. Yeah, I’ve done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frog Morton once." Bilbo refuses, but they didn't listen to his cries. Suddenly two of the dwarves grab hold of his arms, pick him up, and placed him directly on Minty. As we all rode along in the woods, I could hear the dwarves talking to each other.

"Come on, Nori! Pay up!" Oin demanded, the sound of coins clinking together reached my ears.

"The rest of the dwarves took gambles on if Mr. Baggins would show," Thorin explained, however, I already knew this due to Gandalf.

"What about you Thorin? Did you participate?" I said looking at him, he shook his head laughing slightly.

"I don't participate in silly affairs, though if I did I would've guessed he wouldn't have come." I can see how that's true, sometimes people just don't want to leave home. They'd rather stay in their safe comfy beds, and I was one of them. "You seem deep in thought." My cheeks turned red as I realized I had been staring at him the entire time.

"I'm alright." Clearing my throat awkwardly only to hear Bilbo shouting about something else.

"Uh-wait, wait. Stop! Stop! We have to turn around." Thorin groaned and I slowed the pony down, waiting to hear Bilbo's excuse.

"What on earth is the matter?" Gandalf wondered, he was riding a larger horse than the rest of us.

"I forgot my handkerchief." We can't just stop and go back because of some handkerchief, it would only be a waste of time.

"Here! Use this." Bofur rips off a bit of cloth from his robe and throws it to Bilbo, who looks at it with disgust.

"Move on!" Thorin announces, and I continue down the path of our journey. Later that night, we stopped by the entrance of a small cave. I slept close to the edge of the entrance, my wings keeping me warm and hidden from the others. That's when I heard shuffling behind me, it was Thorin setting down his sleeping bag.

"Did you miss me already?" I joked, making him roll his eyes annoyed.

"One of us has to watch you, you might try and kill us in our sleep." I just turned back around, curling back up into a small ball. It was colder outside than I expected, I should've brought warmer clothes. I shivered as a gust of wind blew our way, it took a while for me to fall asleep. The cold wasn't helping me at all, but I finally managed to sleep into unconsciousness. That is until I woke up to howls, not just any normal howls, wargs. I sat up, searching the area, getting ready to strike if I had to. The orcs were far off into the distance but I saw them, I could feel the evilness radiating off of them.

"You think that’s funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" Thorin yelled making me turn to him, he stood up abruptly, his fur coat missing. That's when I realized it was on me, he had laid his coat on me to keep me warm but why? What was his reason for being kind to me?

"We didn’t mean anything by it," Kili stated, looking down at the ground in shame.

"No, you didn’t. You know nothing of the world." Thorin angrily walks off, I had an urge to go try and cheer him up. He did give me his coat, after all, I could at least do something nice. Slowly I made my way over to him, he hadn't sensed my presence yet.

"Thorin?" I called letting out a small yawn. He didn't face me, instead, he kept his gaze pit on the horizon.

"Go away." He ordered but I refused to listen, my feet made their way next to him. He scowled at me, but said nothing else, he only just crossed his arms. His hand caught my attention, it was bigger than most, his fingers were twice the size of mine. Without thinking I tugged on it, making his eyes avert to me. I placed my hand against him, comparing the sizes. "Y/n?" He mutters, wondering what I was up to.

"Your hands, they're so much bigger than mine. For such tiny men, you certainly have large fingers, it's fascinating." I looked up at him, his eyes widened at my comment. "You know as a child I used to wonder what the tiny men of our world looked like, I tried to learn everything about dwarves that I could. My kingdom's library had multiple books about your culture, I have to admit it was interesting to learn about your courting styles."

"You know of our courting ritual?"

"Of course, I know everything about each race. I was a very strange child at that age, yet one question remained unanswered. Why do dwarves keep their hair long?" He smiled at my curiosity, those deep blue ocean eyes stared at me in adoration. Though those furious eyes returned, and he angrily pulled his hand away.

"You shouldn't be asking questions about courting, it's not as if anyone would marry your kind anyway." He lifted his hand, glaring at it in disgust. "Now I have to wash away the filth you have spread upon me." My heart broke a little as if a piece had shred from the flesh. As he stormed off I wondered what ran through his mind, he was the sweet innocent man a few seconds ago. What made him irritated with me? Thorin went back to the place we had been sleeping, and he grabbed his cloak moving to the other side of the camp. Each dwarf turned their head my way, and only three of them grinned at me.

"I'll keep watch," I spoke as I returned to my make-shift bed. It would be better if I stayed away from the others, at least that's not what Kili thought. Cause a few seconds later he plopped down right next to me. "What are you doing? Won't the others scold you for sitting next to me?"

"Who cares, they can argue all they want. No one should be alone, I'll keep watch with you." My heart swelled at his kindness, why was he being so nice to me? Did he believe me than those foolish rumors the others had heard? He frowned slightly, he was serious now. "Are you ok Y/n?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? I've dealt with stubborn dwarves before believe me. Their rudeness hardly bothers me anymore." I lied, staring down at my hands. How could this world think such cruel thoughts about my kind, why did Thror have to lie about us? Kili placed his hand on mine to try and calm me, and lightly he caressed it with his thumb.

"You know not all of us hate you, me, Balin, and my brother Fili we know the truth. I told my brother what you told me, and he sort of believes it. You don't seem like the angry ravaging digonisks we've heard about, and besides the reports in those mountains is evidence that your kin is innocent. Speaking of Balin however, he wanted me to tell you that when you get a chance he wishes to speak with you." I glanced over the white-haired dwarf who gave me a small smile. I wonder what he wants to talk to me about? Maybe his politeness was just a ruse to kill me in secret, what if Kili is doing the same? Ever since I've joined the company I haven't thought of the consequences, I treat them as if they're normal men. I have to be more careful if I am to get to the mountain. "You know you should probably get some sleep, we'll need those wings again."

"No, they're orcs not far, they're watching us. I need to be awake just in case they decide to come our way. I appreciate the gesture, sleep Kili, you and your kin are the most important people here after all." He opened his mouth to protest, but kept quiet and snuggled up in his bed. I kept my eyes on the frontier, watching as the orcs scattered away but I knew they would be back, they always come back.

~♪♠♪~

The harsh wind blasted against me, the building fell apart from the ice that covered the bricks. Shouts were heard from all over, but the only I could focus on was my mother's. My legs hurt bad, but her condition was worse, there was an ice shard in her side. It no longer looked like liquid water, instead, it was nothing but a melting ice block of blood.

"Mommy!" I reached out for her, my hand reaching out to try and save her from the man that stood close. His sword was raised ready to strike, and that's when I saw his face. Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of our company.

"Die filth!" His sword came crashing down hard, and as it decapitated her head I shot up. My chest beating fast, it was just a dream, just a dream. Most dwarves were asleep, the only one awake was Kili who was taking over my shift. I had fallen asleep, how could have been so stupid? He could've hurt me, or worse slaughtered me like the rest of my family. My body trembled as he came close to me, worry showing in his brown eyes.

"Kili stay back!" I warned, he raised his hands as a symbol of peace.

"I won't hurt you, I promise...are you alright?" I was shaking violently, and it wasn't because of the wind that blew our way. "Are you cold? Here." He sheds his cloak going to hand it to me but I shake my head.

"N-Nightmare." That was all I managed to get out, he dropped the piece of clothing on the floor and slowly made his way over showing that he had no weapons. When he was close enough he wrapped his arms around me, making me gasp. I didn't hug back, for I was waiting for any sign that this wasn't a nice gesture. It didn't come, he just pulled me closer, and I have to admit the hug was very helpful. I listened to his breathing, and eventually, it helped my heart stop beating at a rapid speed. He smelled of sweat and pine wood, surprisingly it was a soothing smell.

"Want to talk about it?" He whispered, pulling back to look at me as his thumb rubbed softly against my skin as a way to calm me down.

"No, it was just a silly dream. It's not as if you would care anyhow."

"I do care, and just in case another agonizing fantasy comes across your mind I'll sit right here. So if you do have another nightmare I'll be here to help." He gently pulled me into his side, which I hesitantly accepted, and soon I went senseless, succumbing to the darkness.

For the next few days when I wasn't flying above them to keep watch, I rode with Thorin. The more we rode together, the more he didn't mind it. Soon it was like second nature to him, and every morning when it was time to leave he would hold out his hand to help me on the pony. Although he was extra grumpy today as we continued our journey in the woods while riding in the torrential rain.

"Here, Mr. Gandalf? Can’t you do something about this deluge?" Dori begged, but to no avail, nothing could be done. Well at least for them, considering I was a dragon slayer and immune to fire. One of my abilities was magic, and that magic included creating ablaze. I felt Thorin shiver from behind me, and I felt bad. I never did thank him for letting me use his cloak the other night.

"Thorin take the reigns," I ordered, turning around on the horse, immediately he grabbed the reigns as I let go.

"What on earth do you think your doing woman?" He growled, his eyes piercing into my own. Resting a hand upon his chest, he blushed slightly at the contact I used just a little bit of my charms to summon some heat. "What curse are you putting on me? Get your filthy hands off of me!"

"It's not a curse, it's a spell to keep you warm you ass. Now hold still or I just might burn you." He growled and lifted his head to try and see in front of him, I wasn't that tall. After a few seconds of straining his neck to see, he eventually rested his chin on the top of my head lightly. "I'm not your headrest you know."

"Well, I can't see around your thick skull."

"It's not that big! I'm shorter than you!"

"Shorter, but your head is certainly wider. Are you sure you have a brain in there?" I burned him slightly, making him wince.

"Keep talking 'Oh great one' and see where it gets you. Your lucky I'm even giving you warmth, I could just keep it all to myself." I returned the heat to normal and leaned my head on his chest. His breathing went rigid for a second, then slowed down but his heartbeat sped up.

"...What other powers do you have?" He asked, moving closer to my hand to get warmer. I slipped it down to his side, making him jump. "Watch it."

"Other than fire, I have a vast amount of strength. I could rip a tree out of the ground, second I can fly at fast speeds while spreading my wings. Soldiers with wings are called our airborne army, they attack from above and can kill dragons a lot easier. Last but not least, only the royal line can take on the form of a dragon. At least we used to, The Power of The Black Dragon was lost long ago. It is passed down from generation to generation, but the Queen with the ability died along with it." My mother, just a year before my coronation to take on my birthright was gravely injured from the frozen blast caused by men. She passed away, I never got to tell her that I loved her. The last thing I ever said to her was 'I'm scared'. Though I will never forget her last words, 'don't take revenge.'

"How many more are there?"

"Once there were millions of us, and now because of people like you, there is only 1,000. I hope your happy, cause soon we'll be extinct."

"No, cause soon you'll get those reports. And you'll show the world the mistake we caused." He whispered, his comment made my heart swoon. Had he said what I thought he had confessed?

"Thank you." It was all I could say, I felt him smile as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. He was trying to keep me warm like I was doing to him, perhaps he's not like the monster from my dreams.

@fili-is-my-lover @kirenia15 @lunariasilver @depressedchilipepper

[imagininggintama]

Hey so I think you ship kiana with hijikata but do you ship her with anyone else? And do you ship tsukiko with anyone?

So, like, I've had this in my ask box for a while now and I REALLY wanted to hold off until I had written some more imagines, but I keep getting really excited and bouncing at the idea of what I could reply to this whenever I think of it.

So, without further ado~

I SWEAR THE SPIRIT OF TSUKIKO POSSESSED ME FOR A BIT LOL. Also I kind of ended up writing these like lil snippits of how their relationship would go... so uh, I hope it makes sense???

Picrew here

Most of my shipping so far has been really self indulgent roleplays, so first I'll just list characters I like and may have paired her with in roleplays. (Crossed out ones are typically AU specific ones or haven't had enough interaction in rps to really count much imo.) 😗😗😗 Here's the list of characters I like:

Gintoki Sakata, Toushirou Hijikata, Isao Kondo, Utsuro, Shouyo Yoshida, Tsukuyo, Kotarou Katsura, Shinsuke Takasugi, Mutsu, Ayame Sarutobi, Abuto, Kouka

A good number of the people on that list would actually work with Kiana for one major reason: she's extremely patient and sympathetic.

Also most of them fight, and could benefit from a doctor/chef. 😗

I'll do more in-depth explanations under a read more.

For Tsukiko, I'd never really thought about who she might be shipped with, but here are some characters I think she might end up liking:

Kintoki Sakata, Isao Kondo, Sagaru Yamazaki, Shimaru Saitou, Tetsunosuke Sasaki, Nobu Nobu Hitotsubashi, Oboro, Bansai Kawakami, Matako Kijima, Tatsuma Sakamoto, Rappa Momochi, Shirino Douman, Seimei Ketsuno

Again, more in depth under the cut. 😗

Who do you ship Kiana or Tsukiko with?

I'm sorry but most of Kiana's will be more in depth than Tsukiko's... Her spirit possessed me to say "he's hot, she's hot".

Kiana:

Gintoki Sakata - Ignoring the fact that he would give her a second glance purely because she's not stalker-like or incredibly violent towards him (😂), he'd probably first notice her for her cooking. I've written it before, but I believe that Kiana and Kagura would be fairly close, thus leading to her coming over to the Yorozuya to bring food for the growing girl. As time would go on, she would just naturally start to make extra food for Gin and Shinpachi, and maybe even bring some food for Sadaharu too. As much as Gin seems like the type to take advantage of things, he'd start to feel bad for having next to nothing in return for her. She brings them home cooked food, or even just groceries which she uses to cook a meal with. Their pantry has never seen so much food, honestly. He would end up starting to talk to her, getting more curious about her overall life. It would start with an unintentionally insensitive question, "how the hell did someone like gorilla end up with someone like you for a daughter?" Her explanation would make him feel a bit bad, but patience with his ignorance made him feel better. It'd be at this point he starts noticing things-- how good she is with Kagura, getting her to be more polite and well behaved in certain situations, Sadaharu always jumping up to the front door whenever he hears her coming, Shinpachi sharing his interest in Otsu with her... When she become such a big part of their life? He enjoys the nights when she stays over, because the two of them can talk late into the night when Kagura's fallen asleep. While he's not usually one to let his emotions come out, he can't help but end up teasing her with little flirts and silly comments-- she's just too easy to embarrass.

Toushirou Hijikata- To be 100% fair, in a lot of my roleplays or writings, these two like each other but neither realizes the other does. For Kiana, she thinks he and Mitsuba made a cute couple and didn't want to push her way between that... A lot of times in rps or writings, she gets called stupid by... almost everyone for this decision. 😂 As she does with anyone she bothers to cook for, she remembers their favorites and just how they like things. She does try to make them more dietarily healthy for said person, but she still does what she can to appease the taste of whoever is eating it. This is obviously a big thing for Hijikata, as he has to have just the right amount of mayo on his food or else- It's obviously not just about the food, though. He's always admired the way she's able to calm down anybody she talks to and figure out the best way to help them. He honestly thinks she'd be better suited as a doctor in a hospital or regular office somewhere, away from the gruesome life that they lead, but he also can't imagine anyone else in her place. Part of why she works so well is that she's grown up with a lot of the men there, and know how they work. Her selflessness sometimes pisses him off, just because he thinks she deserves so much more than she gets--- but it's not something he can just get rid of either. He likes buying her gifts because some of his soul ascends to heaven whenever she gives him that child-like excited smile when she gets it. He gets pretty protective over her, even when he doesn't know she likes him too.

Tsukuyo- We already know that Tsukuyo is kind of like a moth and is attracted towards bright and warm things. She's also protective of women, so depending on how the story ends up going, she would definitely gravitate towards the dark haired girl. (One AU I did in RP was that Kiana got kidnapped and sold to Yoshiwara, to which Tsukuyo helped her leave.) She would encrouage Kiana to open up and share her troubles, which may or may not include telling her about her crush on a certain Vice Chief... Tsukuyo would end up trying to get her to come around more often, since she sees the Shinsengumi as not appreciating her enough--especially the idiot who didn't notice she had a huge fucking crush on him. During their times together, Kiana would end up openly holding her hand or onto her arm, leaning against her when they sat together... Poor Tsukuyo would be so flustered, and yet Kiana still wouldn't understand her feelings towards the blonde-- just that she felt safe and comfortable. After they end up sharing their feelings and start dating, Tsukuyo is even more protective over her. She insists she stay the weekends with her, since, as she would say, "they don't deserve to have you working on and off the clock, you need a break." She doesn't accept no for an answer. Despite being seen as a super violent drunk with Gintoki, she becomes super cuddly and affectionate with Kiana--to the point she refuses to let anyone tell her about the nights she got drunk. Do NOT tell her that she almost cried when Kiana said she was taken...

Kotarou Katsura- While he would initially be hesitant about even interacting with her, one day it would just happen. She doesn’t recognize him, and if someone tells her... It’s not her job to arrest people; especially if she’s treating him medically. It would be against protocol to tell anyone about a patient she’s treating. She understands why the Shinsengumi are after him, but she honestly doesn’t see him as a bad person-- and she’ll tell him that. Unlike a lot of other factions, there aren’t nearly as many casualties from his. It would take longer for these two to become close, as he can’t casually take a stroll in the park as others can. He ends up coming about the Yorozuya more often, hoping to run into her on a day she’s hanging out with Kagura. There’s something about her warmth and kindness that draws him to wanting to just... be around her. Perhaps it’s that he sees Gin likes her and he wants to cuck him. He tries his hardest to not bring his more hectic problems of his lifestyle into her own, but it can happen from time to time.  He is curious about her wide array of knowledge and is really impressed by her loyalty to her family. He understands what it’s like to fight like hell to stay near the ones you love and care about. When he’s with her, he feels the world is a bit of a calmer and more peaceful place, even if he knows this isn’t true. They have an agreement that he won’t tell her about how he almost died, but to call her if he ever needs an emergency surgery or anything of the sort.

Shinsuke Takasugi- Their meeting usually in my writings ends up being because she was kidnapped, believing her to be Tsukiko. If they can work through the initial barriers, it can actually be a fairly cute relationship. Another one who would tease her relentlessly, though. He’s not usually one to let her know of his plans, though, as he does know whatever they might be will surely upset her. While not usually one for PDA, he will certainly overdo it if he’s also dating Gintoki or Katsura. (or if he even knows they like her) He’s another one who would benefit from her patience and empathy, though. She’ll never pressure anyone into talking about a subject that bothers them, but is always willing to lend an ear should they want to talk. While she doesn’t agree with the way he’s going about things, she wouldn’t try and make him stop. She just asks that he be careful when fighting, and if he can try to avoid killing certain people she’d appreciate it. 😭 (I might add onto this later, but my brain is giving me sudden writer’s block for him.)

Mutsu- Kiana would definitely know exactly how much food to give the Yato, as she’s used to feeding Kagura (who can almost eat as much as the Shinsengumi.) She would grow very curious of Mutsu and her life, asking her questions about space and being in awe of the stories she tells. Kiana hasn’t left Earth before, so she’s very interested in what it’s like out in space or on other planets. The two end up spending a lot of time together, which leads to Mutsu growing fond and protective over the human girl. Don’t mess with her squishy girlfriend, she’ll rip you a new one. 😂

Ayame Sarutobi- Sacchan would end up first starting to grow fond of her during those times that Gintoki ignores her, but Kiana is asking if she’s okay or if she wants some food. This would happen again and again, her bringing food to one of her hiding places at the Yorozuya, or bandaging her up after she’s been kicked roughly by Gin. She may be an M, but she loves teasing the girl after she’s grown attached to her. She gets so squirmy and flustered and she just thinks it’s adorable. Bonus points if both she and Gin are dating Kiana, because then she can enjoy Gin teasing Kiana. 😍

Abuto- A lot of times these two end up meeting during one of those kidnapping scenarios, to which he’s actually very sympathetic towards her. He’ll try to make her more comfortable in the situation at hand and ends up just sitting and talking with her for a while. He wants to know more about her as a person, since by this point they obviously know she’s not the model. He’s impressed with her knowledge, especially after she’s read every single book he’s offered her to read, and even more so with her cooking. He usually ends up sharing his room with her when he tries to make her more comfortable, which ends up with her falling asleep on him a lot--especially if she’s refusing to put a book down when she’s tired. By the time he’s started liking her, whether she likes him or not, he’ll help her escape. He signed up for this kind of life... she didn’t deserve to be there. If he goes to Earth to hide, she’ll help him find a place and a job and pay for things until he can fully afford them on his own. She becomes very protective over Abuto when they’re together, even though she knows he can hold his own. (In one RP, she almost refused to go back to the Shinsengumi because Hijikata and Okita kept pointing out that Abuto was a pirate and couldn’t be a good guy. This was after she invited them to come meet him, so of course she was upset they were just trash talking him.)

Tsukiko:

Kintoki Sakata- Okay, okay; I can see Tsukiko openly trying to date Kintoki PURELY to fuck with Gintoki. She has absolutely 0 interest in him, but in the situation he and Kiana are dating... she would think it’s absolutely hilarious how much Kin annoys Gin. Could their relationship work beyond that? Possibly, but I think they would both find it hilarious how much it annoys Gin. Tsukiko wants to be close to her sister, and thus would bring Kin along whenever she knew Gin would be there.

Tae Shimura- The two would bond over stalkers, and honestly? That sometimes leads to relationships. (bonding over something you hate). It might not ever move past the friendship phase, but it’s a big thing they would bond over.

Isao Kondo- In a universe where he’s not her sister’s adoptive father, she would actually find him pretty cute. She would definitely be willing to wait for him to get over Tae and notice her... and if that doesn’t work she’ll shamelessly flirt with him. 👀

Sagaru Yamazaki- The next three have one major thing in common: men she could tease and make them super flustered. She thinks it’s adorable, honestly. Although she would probably laugh her ass off if she ever saw Mountain Zaki.

Shimaru Saitou- Something that would be really cute here is, Tsukiko would understand he has trouble verbally speaking and while she does tease him relentlessly (she would never go overboard and would stop if whoever she’s teasing asks her), I think she’d be willing to learn sign language and teach it to him so they could communicate without verbal words.

Tetsunosuke Sasaki- Someone she would just aboslutely love to tease and beyond that, would be supportive of him. While she teases him, she understands that he’s hard-working, loyal, and so very determined.

Nobu Nobu Hitotsubashi- He just thinks he’s hot. 🤷‍♀️ She knows he’s an ass, but again... He’s hot? Might’ve given him a chance when he actually steps up. 👀

Oboro- Another one she thinks is hot. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Would be willing to give him a chance, but she might give up after a few rejections.

Bansai Kawakami- ANOTHER ONE she thinks is hot. Doesn’t think they would work out, but would totally be down for a make-out session. 👀👀👀

Matako Kijima- Bad girls are hot. 👀 Would definitely ask her out more than once, but would give up if she honestly showed no interest.

Tatsuma Sakamoto- She thinks he is HILARIOUS and loves it, but doesn’t think they could be in a serious relationship.

Rappa Momochi- Honestly??? She wants to play dress up with her. Def thinks she’s hot though. 💯

Shirino Douman- Bad boys are also hot. 👀 willing to actually give him a chance though.

Seimei Ketsuno- Aside from being hot, she admires his dedication to his sister. Finds it comforting since it’s similar to herself. Is not weirded out by the occult, so could definitely work out. 👀