#I've gotta vent
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I Have To Vent --
I find it so funny how Kaustin shippers will blatantly ignore constant signs of the Kaustin relationship being weird, and Kaia being kinda disrespectful to Austin (imo) just to keep their precious ship alive and looking good. 🙄😒
We've had pictures and DM sightings of Kaia:
Full on kissing and making out with other women
Getting cozy and making out with other guys (Bazi - Nov 2022)
Flirting with male costars on the red carpet (Corey Michael Smith)
Supposedly being flirty and "all over" her costar Marcelo Hernandez
Pictures of her making out with her girlfriends
Going on "honeymoon" trips with her girl pals
Like, come on. Make it make sense. 🙄😒
This relationship is weird and you all know it.
And say what you will about Vanessa, but Vanessa would never. And I hope the next woman that Austin gets with treats him better too.
At the very least, I hope Austin's next girlfriend is much more mature, and doesn't have any rumors about her making out with other people, being flirty with other guys, and making out with guys in clubs. 🙄
Everyone knows good and well that if the roles were reversed, and Austin were the one with these pictures and rumors, he'd be ripped to shreds. 😒
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#messyr#artists on tumblr#vent post#vent art#tw sui ideation#being busy keeps me distracted as f from these behaviors and thoughts;#keeping distracted bc idfk how to get rid of the urges from intrusive and harmful thoughts#every scenario is just like: hey we can try attempting again today maybe we'll succeed this time!!!#then i'll be rational (focusing on the present) and go : nah cant bro we busy#got clients. gotta graduate. got people to take care of. got people waiting blah blah blah#the endless list where i never catch a break and maybe I've grown used to it.#i yearn death but i don't take its offer. I can't really leave. Not yet. not when there's still too much to do.
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Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE
#Like you can. You can technically analyse ai work for theme and visual literary etc motif but it's all fucking slop to me man#It's making me so cynical about like. Art. I guess. Given the state of corporations and capitalism and the endless stream of#MAKE MONEY BY ANY MEANS. FOR EVERY SECOND THE LINE DOESN'T GO UP WE EXECUTE A HOSTAGE#Like FUCK#I saw that fucking coca cola ad on tv and I wanna get violent man. Like the ad as a representation of all of. This#I know an ad isn't the same kinda thing it's just on my mind#Like nothing means anything anymore it's all gotta be slop it's all gotta be easy corporate slop to appease the market. Every fuckin thing#Ai generated shit is just an endless meaningless hole of malicious thieving garbage and I want to commit a crime#Sorry hi I've been back on that doing art professionally (kinda) grind and I haven't slept in a solid three days it's kinda wearing on me#Gonna be real lads#Oh also that's another thing this is my fucking. Like career path. I do art. And I have to monetize my one great passion. In order to eat#And pay for the constantly exploding rent prices. And now corporations are like hmmmmm#What if we didn't even pay you for that#What if. Hear me out. We stole people's work and made a computer do it#AND THE STUFF THE COMPUTER IS DOING IS GARBAGE#MEANINGLESSNESS SHIT ON TOP OF MEANINGLESS SHIT. FOR PROFIT#Uh anyways I'm going to bed now I have to get up in 3 hours I hope everyone has a better night than this and gets some rest!!#ai mention#vent post
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woke up crying, boys. you know what that means <3
#my period has started#woke up nearly throwing up amd in so much pain that i couldn't speak 🥰#it took me by surprise. didn't even feel the bitch coming#anyways im pissed about it cause im home for the week and my tens machine is at my college apartment THREE HOURS FROM HERE#so I've gotta touch it out with meds and searing my heating pad into my uterus#thanks for reading my vent guys#whispers in the void
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Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum#but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone#and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things?#YOU DONT#IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE#AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM#I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through#and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry#had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood#idk just venting and rambling lol#aroace#ace spectrum#gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp#and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks#its annoying but it is what it is#aromantic#asexual#lgbt#queer#talking#rambling
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litwtc come back PLEASE
#i need my coping mechanism back 🙏🙏 /hj#litwtc#life in the world to come#VENTING BELOW!! AND ITS KINDA OFF TOPIC!!!!! don't read if you don't want to#i've got so much shit to do and of course someone's gotta mention something related to an interpersonal drama#so now i'm on the edge of a guilt spiral and questioning everything i've ever done#i am stressed and overwhelmed. and i miss having something i could look forward to every weekend#obviously litwtc isn't my only comfort but it was one and it's missing now :(
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gotta be honest.
i sometimes feel a tiny bit sad when i watch the scene where glûg gets it from sauron... but then, i really don't.
like, sure, adar wasn't handling things perfectly. but in the situation, what else exactly was he supposed to do. he had to make sure his children didn't fall into sauron's hands, and no, he didn't do it in the best way; but he was traumatised by everything he'd seen before - his children being sacrificed for sauron's rituals - and he knew full well the horrors that would happen under sauron's rule. he knew that only pain and death would await them. he knew sauron wouldn't care about them at all.
and what was the first thing sauron did when approached about a crisis? what did their new master do when he was being told that many uruk were in danger? how did sauron, the one they killed their father for, react to this?
he stabbed one of them directly through the chest. he didn't even grace them with a facial expression or a noise of exertion while he did it. he proved adar completely right and showed that life under him would be dangerous, that it would be far worse than what they had under adar, that sauron did not care about them.
so, sorry glûg.
maybe you should've stuck with your father, huh.
#rings of power#adar#i'm so sorry this is such a personally fueled rant but#ughhhhhh#i am Still sad about adar being gone so i've gotta vent about it akdnakxnskxn
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My DM has pointed out a very funny trend with my kid's attachment to people.
Shout out to anyone that has played Extinction Curse and might recognize some of the NPCs ;)
#dnd#pathfinder 2e#Wren#my oc#my art#I'm sorry to people who follow exclusively for fanart#I've got pathfinder on the brain and am unable to play for at least 2 weeks#I gotta vent SOMEHOW#this was meant to be a quick comic BUT NO I had to render it.
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I wish I could make imaginary friends as well as I did at 2 years old, now I just imagine someone saying they love me and start crying out of loneliness
#Time to be painfully honest on main again#I gotta I've been holding back a bunch of different vents for the last IDK how many hours#own post
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skyglow:







(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid I definitely didn't edit and cut this comp up myself I definitely didn't add the stupid ass music myself stupid stupid stupid I definitely found this online and just took it from there dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb I want to banish him to sitting in a corner permenatly he doesn't. Shouldn't. Get. Take him OUT of the driver seat of my brain he doesn't need to be there he d9esnt get a say in this take away his seat at the table gone removed out of this he doesn't get rent free, in fact he has to pay the most massive fee conceivable and I know that if I said this out loud I'd probably sound exasperated and a little breathless and fumble my words and groan and sigh and huff and make incoherent things to where I almost sounded upset but really with each muttering and long sigh there'd be a hint of .nof. of ....mfif8fifuidis soossssssssom.ssson.mthibg. something.mor.e.more. something more. Than that. The way someone sighs when walking past the bakery section of the grocery store and trying to pretend and act like they don't want it. They sigh and mutter that they don't need it but you can hear it and see it in their expression. Alas. This is over TEXT. And clearly I. Have been nothing but oh so the upmost convincing in my endeavors that. Scrolls back up. Scrolls back down quickly. Blankley stares at my keyboard. I want to slam a plank of wood sideways horizontal-motion across the back of his head.
#using every last ounce in my being to not answer that ask from the ask game about him.#“for whoever youre thinking about most right now!!!” my brain has been d9ing some hard pingponging but.#today.ghhhhhrhrrhhrugguigigughhruhhgggg#today he. I run away Loney Toons style where a cloud of dust in the shape of me is all that remains.#I actualt have a second cli0 i want to talk about but nay. not. yet. im already in shambles judt doing this one.#im so. DISGUSTTINGLY not not in love with him. that it makes eberythint i feel about him worse.#im extra freaked out about him and what he would think about me because i extra care about him and.#Im still in that stage where I. have uet to pro0erly wrap my mind around the idea of the. feeling being reciprocated.#I got the hang of it lately with Aziraphale and Crowley. so I've been so kuch gorgeously free-er to imagine many rhings with them.#And to talk about them a bit m9re freely.#But gee this is. this is like. like. im Sisyphus or something. aka that onr greek guy sentenced to pushing a rock up a hill for enternity.#And any time it neared the top it rolled back down.#VET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!@@! Shaking my head until he pops out lleasirrhusd88s7dye#plucking him out with a pair of tweasers i just.#youre giing to hear me say all this verbatim nearly anytime i mention him for a good while but. my goodness.#He's got me so nastily messed up he needs to atone to his crimes. at least i. at least I dont want to hit him square in the face anymore.#I would be a liar if I said it hasn't gotten better. but i swear smoke just starts pouring ojt of my head.#hello everyone. here is the biggest prime example of where I break so hard that my brain shuts down into insults.#this isnt denial this is just a failure to convince.#i almost want to start another epipsde but it is late and I fear qhat I may come across and dont wanna upset myself this late at night.#But at the same time like i said i have gotten a bit better about it. I'm not. not every thought i have about him anymore is etched in pain.#As my first few posts may have indicated. where I got so grossly upset I had to wip up some technical vent art over it.#Im not getting as chronically upset im jus.t MAN WHYS IT SO HOT IN HERE.#nono guys im. naturslly like this. my hands are always sweaty. huh? what? no. forget about that. ehat are you? a lawyer? go away. shoo.#i gotta quit before i run out of tags to rven add his tag. which i should also obliterat.e#Doctor🤎💙#i hope he chokes on his next drink for making me feel like this.
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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Living in a crucial swing state is a fucking mess in the lead up to an election like i'm getting seven million texts a day, gotten FULLY stopped in traffic on three separate occasions this week because candidates are visiting (police cars everywhere, highways closed, etc), and you genuinely will need a snowplow to clear all the campaign signs once this thing is over plus I had to wait three hours in line to early vote last week BUT I DID IT
#plus i had to drive past that orange fucking asshole's plane today when i passed the airport and eugghhhhhhhhh#election bitching#i was stuck for half an hour in one spot the other day and was like 'guess i've gotta look up which candidate is here now'#pls nc can we go blue again i believe in us#I'm so stressed about this fucking election#like i know everybody is i'm just venting about it
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Woe, furry art upon ye.
I'm trying to experiment with a more toony style with my furry art. This was a test doodle but why not share it?
Feast your eyes on this accursed beast.
#colors arent final#same with antler designs#also i gotta name him#furry#anthro#deer#wolf#toony#digital art#my art#lowkey call him my edgy furry cause i draw messy vent art with him#I've only drawn him like 4 times tho
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i hate the dishonesty of applying for jobs. i hate the theater of it. i hate the way you're supposed to bend and twist and reword your experience in a way that it doesn't even tell anyone what you actually did, what you can actually do. i hate the contradictory advice and the dishonest postings and the repetitive questions and every single placation you receive when you know no one even looked at your resume.
i'm a writer but fuck this isn't writing this is sales so is it any wonder that it feels like i'm selling myself and selling myself and selling myself and hating every moment of it and wishing people would look away and wishing desperately someone would pull out their damn wallet?
i'm so fucking tired
#this past year has been for discovering things i adamently hate about the world#unrelated note a part of me is so tempted to nuke my internet presence and start from scratch#or maybe it's related#i've been feeling on the verge of crisis since long before i lost my job#it's just not helping that i now have very little to occupy my time with#and money worries to boot#sorry guys#just gotta vent
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💭
#do tags even work???#i've never really tagged anything but gotta be honest...#not to whine too much but i built up my blog for 6yrs and now all of that is gone and im like...#just bc all of my blogs are gone i still wanna post things??? that urge isnt gone#but idk where i should even post it all bc i had like an organized thing going#where do i post all my vent edits????? and random things???? like idk wth...#also yeah do tags even work??? bc when i do use tags like nothing happens... i mean i get that#but like ugh im just so frustrated#they just took everything from me i wanna cry!!!!!!! that was my diary !!!!!! im a mental hoarder i need 2 feel like ive saved stuff
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