#I've gone back and forth on whether or not to post this but here we go

[onlyherefortheshowmances]

*deep breath*

[please note: I'm not fully caught up on C3, so my understanding comes mostly from tumblr posts and reading the episode recaps on the wiki, so some of these details might be wrong, but the end results is what I'm concerned about.]

So I have two potential outcomes I'd kind of like to see from this night of having Vax back on Exandria with his family.

Option 1 (most preferred). The first part of next week's episode is basically just roleplaying that night and then as the Raven Queen appears once more to take back her champion, Matt cuts for break (before Vax actually goes), and when we come back, they're back in C3 seating and we're on Ruidius watching that end of things (over the same time frame) play out, because we can't actually be sure the Raven Queen WOULD be there to take him back until we know for sure whether The Nein Hells are able to stop the Gods from being destroyed. That is probably going to take the rest of next episode and at least 1-2 more episodes afterwards, possibly even putting us to the holiday break, to leave us in suspense for several weeks, on the very last moments of the battle, to not know whether they win or lose, save the gods or not. Then instead of actually showing us that result (or even playing it out entirely), the very next thing we see is them back to the C1 seating with the Raven Queen's hand outstretched to her champion, beckoning him back to her realm and his duties.

Matt/DM: And then, just as suddenly as she appeared, she's gone.

[long pause of looking at each other in confusion.]

Laura/Vex: Is my brother still here?

*Everyone staring at Matt*

Matt/DM: He is. [long pause] Vax'ildan, you hear and feel it occur, as your vision of the Matron before you vanishes, there's a sense of disconnect that you've never felt before. The memories and abilities of the Champion begin to fade, even more quickly now.

Liam/Vax: Is... is she... gone?

Matt/DM: It's unclear, but you definitely feel a wider divide between yourself and her presence than you felt even as a mortal the first time. [long pause] Lieve'tel, you also feel this separation set in a disconnect from your deity, your source of divine magic, a wider gap than ever before.

Liam/Lieve'tel: I'm going to step so I'm more than 5 feet from everyone else and then attempt to cast Word of Radiance, to see if I still have my powers.

Matt/DM: You take a few steps away from everyone else, your mind reeling at what any of this might mean. You attempt to cast the cantrip you've used on so many occasions... [dramatic pause in which people, especially Liam start freaking out] It works as it always has, a bright burst of radiant light erupts from you into the five foot radius around you.

Liam/Lieve'tel: "So, she can't be totally gone, then, right?" She looks to the Champion. "You're still here, you wouldn't still be here if she was really gone, right? You'd just be dead. She's the only reason you're here to begin with, right?"

Liam/Vax: "I think. I do not know. I've never felt this disconnected from her before." I start looking at myself, concentrating on my heartbeat, making sure I'm not withering away.

Matt/DM: You feel as alive as you did before this moment. Almost as you once were before she even sent you back the first time.

Liam/Vax: Wait, am I... alive-alive?

Matt/DM: You certainly feel alive.

[silence as both Laura and Marisha stare back and forth between Liam and Matt]

Matt/DM: Pike. [long pause] You, too, a few minutes into this begin to feel your connection with the Everlight pulling away until it is more disjointed than you've ever felt it before, her presence suddenly... missing.

Ashley/Pike: Similar to what Lieve'tel just did, I'm going to attempt to cast Light on the end of my mace.

Matt/DM: It works.

Ashley/Pike: "Everlight????" EVERLIGHT!?! Are you still there?!?!"

Matt/DM: There is no response.

Ashley/Pike: "Oh no."

Matt/DM: "What would any of you like to do?"

[This continues on for the first half of that episode, then eventually determining through medicine checks and other such things that Vax is in fact alive-alive, by some strange happenstance. It's later revealed to Liam, off camera, by Matt, that he now has celestial blood beyond his own though, so he also has some of the racial characteristics that Aasimars or similar beings would. The second half of the episode would be back with the other group as they fail to prevent the Gods from being destroyed, though they seemingly aren't actually destroyed so much as banished more permanently and further away from the mortal plane(s).]

...

Option 2 (also valid, but extreme amounts less likely/plausible - this is just me being delusional, okay? just go with it): The same through cutting just before we know if the Nein Hells have succeeded or not, and then again back with Vox Machina. [just note: for this one to fully work out, Keyleth will have to give completely in to accepting that Vax is back for the short while that he is because certain things would need to occur during that night *cough*.] In this instance, the Raven Queen does, indeed reclaim her champion as Vex and Keyleth both sob in his wake once more. [flash to the nein hells succeeding.] Then I'm gonna need a time jump to a couple months later when Keyleth shows up in Whitestone feeling not quite herself, hoping to see Pike and that perhaps she would know what was wrong. Pike does a medicine check and maybe even tries a greater restoration or something, but determines that there doesn't seem to be anything "wrong" with her, per say, maybe it's just something she ate? But Keyleth tells her that she's felt like this for weeks and Pike has this a-ha moment with one last medicine check (or something of that nature) and well, do you see where this is going yet? Pike becomes noticeably overwhelmed and that of course freaks Keyleth out, but Pike insists they have to go find Vex before she tells Keyleth what she saw, which Keyleth is confused by, but they set off for the castle where they locate Vex (and Percy, probably), and Pike makes Keyleth and Vex both sit down before revealing what she saw/noticed/etc., which is that Keyleth is pregnant. And, yeah, that unravels a whole nother thing to contend with, but it could be very interesting and an almost poetic end, but does not feel like something that will actually happen even though it would be very interesting indeed.

[pebblysand]

hello! you may find the entire playlist on spotify here. below is some more information on my song choices for part one.

<LINK TO PART TWO> <LINK TO PART THREE>

.

Castle by Eminem: if you have finished the fic, you will understand. if you haven't, i don't want to spoil you :).

Things We Lost In The Fire by Bastille: it's funny, i'm a massive bastille fan but it didn't really hit me how castles that song is until i went to see them live last summer. i remember being in the crowd and thinking to myself: god this is so on point. i think the lyric that gets me most is: the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again. there's such a dichotomy to that and it's so representative of what is happening in this chapter, which is harry and the trio sort of reconning with the concept of time and the post-war state of things and: now what? the excitement of: we survived and the future's in our hands, but also we'll never be the same again because we lost all these things (people) in the fire (war). i just find it very apt.

O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: firstly, i love that song, i thing it's beautiful and it just nails that post-war tone of the early chapters. the cleaners are coming one by one, they measure the room, they know the score, etc. secondly, this is obviously the harry& hermione song, which is a massive vibe and plot point of this chapter. i will defend the dance to my dying day, i think it's one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole film and those who don't like it because of the harmony vibes are wrong. that's it 😅.

UNHEALTHY by Anne-Marie: this is a more recent addition, but doesn't this song kind of have early harry/ginny vibes? i'll let you listen and be the judge.

Wonderwall by Oasis: harry mentions oasis in this chapter, so of course i had to add this. i have listened to this song so much in the past 20 years, i can't even tell if i like it or not. anyway, here's wonderwall 😅.

Pompeii by Bastille: ah. the infamous break down of everything. as i've already said, absolutely love bastille, and this one is a classic.

Shadow Preachers by Zella Day: i added this one more recently but i feel like it also had very strong early harry/ginny vibes. i also like that it sounds a bit similar-ish to pompeii in that sort of break down of everything vibe. there's a sort of desperation to that song that i feel really fits well.

Place de la République by Coeur de Pirate: firstly, if you think of coeur de pirate as comme des enfants and don't know anything else from her, i am begging you to open to your heart to her other songs/albums, she's incredible. secondly, i've always loved this song. it so well captures this sort of regretful break up situation where she is breaking up with someone because of distance and giving them one last chance to show up and they don't. i feel like it's very much a ginny song in chapter 3, this way she doesn't really want to break up with harry but has to. it's just 😫.

Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi: i've gone back and forth a lot on this song, whether to include it or not. it's almost Too Much. but, also, harry is a bit Too Much in this, so it just fits.

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths: this is... very literal, i don't think i need to explain. i will say, for a very long time, i didn't know where the french bits were from. it sounded like some sort of documentary about suicide, which i thought was odd, but it's actually a reading of the myth of sisyphus by albert camus. i've never read it because i've only ever read camus's fiction, but he is one of my favourite french authors, so i was happy to find that out. it works with the song incredibly well, obviously.

Hell or Highwater by Passenger: we're back with the break up songs. i love this one because it very much is about the confusion and the not knowing what caused the break up, which i think is very fitting for harry, here. i also just love the writing in this song, the way he uses the "hell or highwater" saying in a different way - it's a song i very much love, even outside of castles.

Six Degrees of Separation by The Script: idk, this song has such strong 2000s vibes, and it's so break-up-y dramatic - it just fits, you know? 😅.

Giants by Dermot Kennedy: this playlist supports irish artists! ✊🏻 jokes aside, i kind of see this song as having a bit of a double-meaning here. like, of course, it's hinny break up song and plays - again - to that lack of understanding (we used to be giants, when did we stop?) but i also see it as reflective of harry's broader state of mind. it's this post-war confusion of: we used to do these great, important things, and what is our purpose, now? obviously, this first arc is very much about finding a reason to live after the war, so i feel like this song works for both plotlines.

As It Was by Harry Styles: i'm not a massive harry styles fan so the first time i ever heard this song was when he was on tour and the 'LEAVE AMERICA' trend was all over tiktok. and, i don't know, the moment i heard the song as a whole i was like, 'fuck, this is such a castles song!' especially of that early, post-war, confused era of: 'harry what are you doing sitting at home on the floor, what kind of pills are you on?' it just had to be in this playlist.

Fear of Fear by Passenger: this song is just a mood. i feel like it could play over a montage of the weeks passing in chapter four, and harry just going to work, trying to sleep, and going running in the night.

Le vent nous portera by Noir Désir: there's two reasons why this song is here. firstly, i feel like it signifies healing and the passage of time, which works very well with this chapter. it's a gorgeous song and has this idea of the wind just blowing the hardships away, an "it'll be alright" motto that i love. but also, what my international audience might not know is that this song is highly controversial - bertrand cantat, the lead singer of the band, beat his girlfriend - french actress marie trintignant - to death in 2003. he was arrested, went to jail - if you are french, just know that i'm not going to get into the Debate of whether he should still played/be listened to, etc. we all have our opinions and whichever way you're leaning i'm not going to change yours but i just wanted to note that i wouldn't have put this song in the playlist for any other chapter. but with the added theme of DV in the case giulia and harry work on here, i felt it was fitting.

Brave by Sara Bareilles: this is obviously giulia's pep-talk song haha! harry, get out of your rut, and be brave. i love it.

You're Not Special, Babe by Orla Gartland: i love this song. and, again, it's very giulia. i feel like both of these last songs for this chapter have this vibe of her telling harry to just get off his arse and do something, which is what he needed at that point. quit moping around, quit blaming yourself, you're not that special. it's really the kick off, onto chapter five.

Insomnia by Ren: ah, ren. if you've been following the playlist for a while, you will have noticed that i had a major ren moment between the end of 2023 and the start of 2024 and added, like, fifteen millions of his songs to the playlist. i feel like castles generally has such a ren "vibe" to it, which is wild because i didn't find him until well into writing the story. this song has this incredible line: i used to use drinking as a way to stop thinking and my problems with drinking made me feel like i was sinking, so i dried up my drinking and then i couldn't sleep a wink, and now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking about nothing. fucking nothing. and everything and nothing - i hate not sleeping. this is so on point for this chapter, which has harry's insomnia stalking those post-war months, and i absolutely love it.

The Last Unicorn by Passenger: ah, the first mia song 😫. my child. this is so scarily on point.

J'écoute du Miles Davis by Navii: this is really one of the core, OG castles songs as far as i'm concerned. i remember listening to it on loop very early on, writing the early chapters. i love the chorus of 'Et le temps passe' (and time passes) - it's this factual statement that i feel is very castles. "Time just - passes."

The Way I Am by Eminem: i was so mad to find out i couldn't use this song in text because it came out in 2001. obviously, very related to the press, fame, etc. which are topical for this chapter.

Dominoes by Ren: i added this one fairly recently. it's one of those songs that isn't precisely topical to the chapter itself, but i really liked the riff of "we fall like dominoes, dominoes, falling". it echoes that thing harry says about how he's afraid to fold because if the "leader" falls, then everyone comes cascading down. i felt like there's an interconnection in that song that resonates, here. and also, i think the thing about public perception and body shaming is also somewhat related to the treatment of girls in harry's life in the press.

Read All About It, Part III by Emili Sandé: i thought most people would already know this song because it was featured so prominently in the 2012 London Olympics, but i suppose it still didn't make it to america, 'cause i've had quite a few comments from people saying the playlist was the first time they'd heard it. anyway, it's obviously about harry using his voice and finally talking to the press, and it's amazing :).

Babylon by Barns Courtney: the vibes of this song feel like the fall of a civilisation and "the walls are caving in, you're paying for your sins" and... yeah. idk, i see this as the theme song to the whole battle scene at the lace mill.

What He Wrote by Laura Marling: this was always Giulia's "song" in my head, i'm not even sure why. it's got nothing to do with her but just based on vibes. i listened to this on loop writing her death. and, also, the connection with Peaky Blinders, which heavily inspired the first act of castles.

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens: this is just... a beautiful song about death lol. how cheerful 😅.

All My Tears by Ane Brun: and... another one, lol. also, another connection to PB.

Jimmy by Moriarty: i only have two songs for this chapter, probably because it used to be paired with chapter six so i initially didn't think of it as an independent item. anyway, this is one of my favourite songs in the world, and it's recently come to my attention that it fit quite well in here, with this idea of "coming home" (to the burrow, in harry's case. i feel like it works well with the general mood of the chapter.

CORALINE by Måneskin: ah. coraline, coraline, di me la tua verita... this is the beginning of harry, and ginny, and the letters, really.

Zombie by The Cranberries: canonically, Mia is a fan and while two cranberries songs are mentioned in this chapter, i always felt like this one fit better. first, because it's about a civil war that, in many ways, resembled the wizarding war. second, because i've always sort of thought as amycus as a bit of a zombie. like, he's dead but he still plagues ginny (and later harry) with the things he's done and their ramifications.

Rather Die by Barns Courtney: obviously, i'm a massive fan of barns courtney and i've always felt this song is very ginny during the war. basically, 'i'd rather die than give in.'

Repeat After Me by KONGOS: this song is obviously about the absolutist christian faith and someone trying to escape it, but i think there's something so rhythmic about it. in my head, i could see it playing over a montage of the DA pulling off stunts, getting attacked, getting back up again, fighting again, losing again, etc. there's also the 'repeat after me' of indoctrination that could very much apply to the ministry's propaganda. i remember listening to this song so much as i was writing this chapter, just to remind myself of the relentless sort of pacing i wanted to achieve.

Dopamine by Barns Courtney: okay so. this is the song of this chapter. i know it feels like it's not really about this chapter (it's clearly about drug addiction) but you cannot possibly imagine the number of times i listened to it as i was writing. i don't know. i love everything about it. the loud rock and instrumentals, the production, the lyrics. if we end it all, at least you're by my side. we could never die. and this: it's always the same. see the drink couldn't wash out the taste of your name. i literally think it's one of my favourite songs ever, and one of my favourite sentences ever written. i think in my head it's a bit about ginny sinking, about amycus, about harry. about everything. i would say dopamine is probably one of the most important songs in this playlist. i am so attached to it.

Thirteen Thirtyfive by Dillon: and... the last song. i will say this: i have since learnt that this song is about a woman who has lost a child (either through miscarriage, abortion or death after birth, it's not clear) and is reminiscing about what her life could have been. that is... not how i initially interpreted it. you may listen and come to your own conclusions. if you interpret it like the above, maybe it fits with pansy's story. if you don't... well. you'd be thirteen, i'd be thirty-five, gone to find a place for us to hide. be together but alone, as the need for it has grown. make of that what you will.

[arcane-vagabond]

Okay, so I've gone back and forth on whether or not to post this, but here we are. Long post under the cut.

I realize that I tend to post updates fairly often. However, I am not a machine, and I do actually have a full time job. The only reason I've been able to update like I have is because we've been in the off season. Eventually, things are going to pick up quite a bit and more than likely, I won't have as much free time to post like I do now. With that being said, I will try to get updates to you guys as much as I can, BUT there seems to be an attitude going around (not just towards me, but towards many other authors on here) that we should be updating almost every day. This is not feasible. Do I love that you guys love my stories so much? Absolutely! And I love talking about them with y'all. However, this is a hobby first and foremost. I am not being paid to write these stories and everything that I do post, I post for free. So, it's a little aggravating when I get asks in my inbox asking when I'm updating again after it's only been a week. It's a little aggravating when I get asks in my inbox for requests with not even a please or thank you, just a demand for something.

Which brings me to the next point. I don't mind taking requests. In truth, I'm a little backlogged right now, so until I can catch up, specific requests are closed. I will still talk about the stories with you guys, but I wouldn't necessarily expect a drabble until I can catch up on some of the ones that have been sitting in my inbox for about two months now. Along this same line, I really don't appreciate people coming into my inbox and telling me that you like my writing and then turning around and insulting it. I also don't appreciate when people come into my inbox and ask me to write an entire AU with specific scenarios while also insulting the way I write my characters. I love hearing about the different AUs you guys wanna see me do, but when you are sending me paragraphs of specific things you want to see in the AU, then it's no longer just an idea. At that point, you should be considering writing it yourself because it's not my original story at that point.

To clarify, there's a big difference between "I think it would be really cool if you wrote a mob AU and the reader could be a waitress or work in a bookshop or something" and "You should write a mob AU where the reader is a waitress and gets caught in a shootout and this character saves her! But then it turns out the waitress is secretly working undercover to bring down the mob boss and there's a shootout where this thing happens and then the characters have this specific conversation and then..."

I'm not trying to be a bitch, I swear I'm not. But it's frustrating when I can tell some of you don't even read the actual stories before ragging on them and then submitting a request in the same breath. It's also getting a little frustrating when I have the tag list at the top of my posts (with the trigger warnings) and I'm still being asked to add people to the tag list. I try to be accomodating and understanding, guys, but things have been a little much recently, and I just felt like I needed to say something. I know I'm not the only author on here experiencing this sort of stuff, and I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm speaking for them, but please start reading the author notes and the trigger warnings and what the author has posted before the actual story. And please stop pestering the authors on here about when they're posting. I know some people post daily, hell, I used to be one of them back when I was unemployed. But we have lives outside of this website guys, and a lot of us have plans with the holidays upon us as well as mental health problems with the changing seasons.

Again, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I think people tend to forget that there are actual people behind these accounts, and while we love interacting with and giving you guys content, sometimes we need a break too. I know I have other hobbies other than writing, and sometimes I just need to take a step back so I don't get burnt out and stop writing altogether. Just show a little compassion and courtesy, y'all, that's all I'm asking.

Happy Holidays, and I hope to have something out for y'all this week if not a couple things. I have the entire week after Christmas off, but I don't know how much I'll be able to write given I have to go get my car fixed now and I have plans with some friends.

[kelieah]

life updates and a long awaited face reveal <3

hi my loves. it’s been a long long time. i miss you all so much. the friendships i’ve made on here, the stories, everything. i’ve been so back and forth on here, saying i’ll start writing again and blah blah. so just to explain why i’ve been gone so many times, i’m going to give you all a semi-quick update/summary.

first of all, whether you know me or not… hi, i’m kelly! i’m eighteen, almost nineteen (may second is my birthday) and this is me :)

also now that i've faced revealed and am comfortable sharing more of my socials, here you go! instagram: @kellymagtibay (main) @pterscindy (aesthetic spam) @pterscindyspam (sht post spam), tiktok: @kellymagtibay (main), @pterscindy (spam), snapchat: @keli.hm

i am most active on instagram and tiktok! and if we're pretty close and or you prefer to text, feel free to ask for my number.

been pretty occupied with going to work and school part-time. and finally having friends, whom i’m still trying to keep in touch with and spend time with. all while still trying to take care of myself. i’m finally and fortunately on anti-depressants and going to therapy now so yay! lots of ups and downs, a lot more ups now. so again, yay. one thing i've definitely learned so far, is that getting back into the groove of things takes time and that i shouldn't try to go back to being my old self. i should focus on growing, flourishing, and becoming myself again, a different but the same self. anyway, one of the things i would love to get back into is writing. so if any of you would like to help, by all means, whether it’s reaching out, sending me your own work to read or help out with, requesting or giving ideas, please. i’d love it. i miss you all. i miss it here. i miss the beautiful works and creators. i promise i promise i’ll be more consistent. because i want to be back, i want to write again.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you. i hope we catch up, or i can’t wait to get to know you. much love, kelly

going to tag some a bunch of friends and people i follow in hopes to catch up!

@devotion @yourstrulyamour @darlingholland @kyber-crystal @toms-gf @asonofpeter @neverstaisfied @spideyspeaches @yelenasdog @saturnpeter @evermoreholland @evermoresilk @arvinsescape @arvinsvintage @ms-misery @parkerpeter24 @deaddovecoterie @peterbenjiparker @peterpparkerwrites @marvelouspeterparker @ptergwen @moonys-bf @sourholland

@ellebutnotwoods @reawritesthings @itsalyssajo @thatwriterkei @lovers-liability @lilbeatlebear @dhtomholland @selfcarecap @petersgroupie @venniespee @petershbw @peanut-butter-lys @vendettaparker @claireunoia @refairy @veryholland @moonys-bf @supremethunda @harry-hollands @t-lostinworlds @lovelybarnes @greenorangevioletgrass @allegras-sunflower @tommysparker

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/wishesofeternity/699562103667851264/daemon-targaryen-rant-incoming-warning-its

curious of your thoughts about this post?

Disclaimers: None of this means you have to like Daemon or approve any of his earlier actions or think he's a good person--bc that was never the argument.

And this post will also be long. There's so much to address, and there's a character limit, so I might miss some or summarize too much.

A)

Them:

Daemon Targaryen, like every other character, possesses the capacity for good and evil and the ability to choose. But morally? Daemon was a child groomer and a pedophile who had physical relations with his teenage niece and a 17-year old girl (he was 50 at the time), and enjoyed sampling young virgins at brothels.

So the quote that they pull, firstly, is this:

“Over the centuries, House Targaryen has produced both great men and monsters. Prince Daemon was both. In his day there was not a man so admired, so beloved, and so reviled in all Westeros. He was made of light and darkness in equal parts. To some he was a hero, to others the blackest of villains.”

And I'll just say that this is written by a character in-world, Gyldayn. It's valuable to keep reminding ourselves that this is a maester who is compiling sources to try to get pictures of who these people were so we can consider how the narrative is being framed. Let's get into it:

1)

Daemon didn't fuck Nettles.

2)

He was however, likely to have been including virgins in his use of sex workers at brothels. I doubt that he only went to brothels for virgins with a Valyrian look, there's no evidence of that. Gross, bc buying sex work itself is already problematic [post abt Mysaria and sex work]. Add deflowering peasant girls maybe as young as 15? yeah...smh

So I would still concede a bit here. Definitely the "darkness" of his past and the "darkness" part of his character.

3)

I've gone back and forth with how we label what he was doing with Rhaenyra after he came back form the Stepstones. Can you put some labels on it, bc under scrutiny there are flaws.

When we think of grooming, we consider it as the older person trying to get the younger psychologically detached from their support system by convincing them that they can only rely on them...and unfortunately, I'd say that of all the people Rhaenyra had then, Daemon was the person who actually was there for her more than any other in her entire life (except maybe Aemma). And I really think he entered KL with the intent to marry Rhaenyra, not to use her up in a similar way that show!Viserys does Alicent. The issue with Dameyra people have is whether or not Daemon married her just to be her consort and rule through her, when by the evidence of F&B, he never tried to overpower her and willfully became her political subordinate similar to how he still followed most and the more important of Viserys' orders (sending Mysaria away the that was literally his first child). A groomer wouldn't tolerate such a gap in power relations.

Rhaenyra didn't follow his advice concerning the Rosby & Stokeworth debacle; his was a kinda suitable compromise even as it shunted the Rosby and Stokeworth girls and I am making commentary on how Daemon tried to plan according for Rhaenyra's future. Daemon might have showed his displeasure, but here and in all their years of marriage, he never seemed to try to overpower her directions until the very last And in that last moment, I suspect that Nettles was either a surrogate daughter or his actual bio daughter.

(I explain about Viserys multiple times, but people can start HERE.)

A difference here is how the relations helped Rhaenrya vs Alicent; Rhaenyra, for better or worse, was Viserys' heir whereas Alicent was a Hightower lady from a second son who could have had any man and still live a better life and has had no other benefit to anyone other than her father, house, herself, and Viserys.

Rhaenyra needed a husband and heirs to be more assured in her queenship role, which in turn could have provided that precedent of female rulership for other women and girls. And quite simply put, the court knowing Laenor had no interest in women presented a glaring problem for the paternity of Rhaenyra' heirs and gave more ammo to her enemies. Yes the Velaryons have their fleet Rhaenyra could use, but a marriage pact with Laena's kids to Rhaenyra's PLUS Princess Rhaenys' relations to Rhaenyra, Viserys, & Daemon had some way of allying Corlys' ambitions to Rhaenyra. It's highly doubtful bk!Rhaenys would just go green, even if Corlys wanted to and neither Baela nor Rhaena existed bc the greens are just more tied to the Hightowers.

Like yes, Daemon giving the gifts to Rhaenyra and spending time with her and making fun of Alicent and her kids for Rhaenrya's amusement--with the knowledge that it didn't come with his pure intentions but partly because he wanted to become her consort--comes across as dangerous for a young girl like Rhaenyra and is certainly has cunning in it. HE also knew that Viserys wouldn't like that Daemon was partly giving such attentions to marry her bc he knows Viserys (stupidly, I might add, again, refer to the post abt Viserys) doesn't trust Daemon to actually work towards the family or really his own political interests, so we can't say that it is exactly Daemon courting her. I also suspect him of being jealous of Daemon, bk or show, bc of their history and what I said about Viserys' insecuriites in the linked post.

To officially "court" someone, their parents or guardians would have to allow the interactions. [again, refer to the linked reblog abt Viserys]. Simultaneously:

Rhaenyra was already being arranged to get married at her age of 15, and by Westerosi larger patriarchal structure she was eligible for marriage even not by being 16, bc exceptions are made for girls in ways they aren't for boys; it's not totally conducive to use her age to something to discourage Daemon from pursuing her IN THIS PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCE or this world and in their traditions....which is why I hate real-world modern AUs for ASoIaF characters....her interactions with Daemon before Viserys found out, therefore, arguably display her having more "choice" than otherwise, even though we'd have to now examine how Daemon's specific actions, words, diction, etc. [WHICH WE DON'T HAVE BC THIS SGYLADYN DOESN'T HAVE ACCESS TO SUCH!] are unambiguously him deceiving Rhaenyra, how much are gray-room manipulation, and see how much "choice" Rhaenyra really has and it still wouldn't be the end-all-be all bc of the world they all live in

Viserys would have never let Daemon marry her for the wrong reasons. I don't think Daemon went in with the mind of taking advantage so much as unofficially "court" Rhaenyra in the absence of the permission he'd never obtain to force Viserys' hand. And because of this circumstance limiting both Rhaenyra and Daemon's actions, the whole thing slides into an area of where the already questionable practice of courtship and age gap relations that Westeros already has

One of the best interpretations of Daemon's interactions with Rhaenyra at this time and what I describe are written in sweetestpopcorn's fanfic The Blacks and the Greens HERE. Their Daemon is an asshole who manipulates there. He also becomes, as in canon, devoted to her herself and her cause to become queen, so he willingly serves to be, again, her political subordinate in a way that groomers can't and never can be.

B)

Them:

He was a warmonger and war criminal who began a conquest of the Stepstones, taking all but two islands, ensuring that the people there "learned to fear" his dragon, before abandoning the entire thing because he got bored.

This is what "warmonger" means:

a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups

The Triarchy, or the Kingdom of the Three Daughters (Lys, Myr, Tyrosh), did not manage to keep the pirates they would eventually enable out of this critical piece of land between Essos and Westeros. Traders were getting assaulted and girls were getting kidnapped and trafficked. In the show, Corlys appealed to the crown for years and both bk/show!Viserys ignored the situation in the Stepstones for a long time ("A Question of Succession"):

Yes, Daemon saw in the Stepstones an opportunity to make a name for himself as what is valued in men in this system. But he certainly provoke or encourage the wars' existence because the fighting began 10 yrs before he ever even approached Corlys. There is also no evidence of him manipulating the situation where the fighting actually stopped and it began again due to any action on his part. There simply was a resurgence of enemies to fight.

If they are defining him as a warmonger because he doesn't care too much about stopping fighting or has a bloodlust for it, that's neither what that word means nor is it pathological as they seem to imply it of him. Again this is a feudal world....that rules that the "best" sort of man is a warrior who wins battles. How do young men and boys make names for themselves? By fighting in battles and winning most if not all of the, showing physical and military "prowess". Even Jaehaerys honed his physical skills at 14-15 to prove to others he was a fit king AND tried to get his son Vaegon out of his books and learn more swordsmanship through Baelon. Jaehaerys subscribed much into that warrior-male ideology as most people in their circles did. Rogar sought glory in battle as a way to fix up his reputation from trying to usurp Jaehaerys. Orys Baratheon sought to re-position himself as useful to Aegon I through battling more Dornish. So Daemon's hardly unique enough for his using battle and war to build his reputation or having that desire to use war to advance himself, esp when he knows he's good at it.

This doesn't mean that he is a good person or that we should default back to feudal times or kill people. It means that the OP has a distorted view of Daemon and makes him uniquely evil when he hardly is. If anything, he's in this weird middle area of having that "respect" and having nothing substantial in terms of power on his own besides Caraxes, being good at this one soceity-valued thing, and being related to Viserys or Rhaenyra. So he rather took an opportunity that Viserys left open.

His efforts at the Stepstones actually brought the Stepstones more (if not totally) into Westeros' political hegemony and overall relative "peace" for a time until the new war the greens began ruined it. And unlike Rogar, who died in Dorne and stubbornly refused to go back to his home (bc he didn't want to really face what he did to Alyssa Velaryon AND the "humiliation" of Rhaena's confronting and threatening him), Daemon "tires" of the Stepstones & marries Laena to settle down ("A Question of Succession"):

I mean, if U.S. soldiers cite being "tired" of being away from home, why can't we also assume Daemon was in a similar place? He's been at the Stepstones for more than 5 years, including the time he was exiled afterwhatever happened b/t him and Rhaenrya in 111. I don't see how this perosn thought he left bc "he got bored" when it's still war...you are going to get reasonably tired of being in a battle no matter how good you are at it. Especially when you're also trying to maintain control of an island or two when the larger authority, the government (in this case Viserys and the council) does not send materials for those fortifications. To take HotD at face value, or "Watsonianly, "HotD!Daemon goes off on his own bc Viserys has just now decided to send reinforcements when he could have done so way before but refused to, again, stupidly and pridefully. So Daemon wanted to make a personal point to Viserys as well as a broader one. "Doyistly", or to criticize HotD, that whole situation of Daemon going off on his own was dumb even as it was thrilling: he couldn't have avoided all those arrows or traversed the field all by himself like that. I doubt that bk!Daemon would have done it that way.

And in the show, Alicent presses that he actually hurry up and put an end to the war not "for the realm"'s most vunerable's peace [once again, those kidnapped girls and the traders], but bc it's costing the crown money. She says as much in the 6th episode. Refusing to do as Rhaenrya suggests and build some fortifications to keep the Stepstones as they want them and even ensure future protection and eventually reduce the fighting to almost nil. Alicent's concern was not for people's lives or safety but for money and to maintain a picture of control. Viserys, too. But I digress.

Finally, we see Daemon at the black council saying they shouldn't go to war until they absolutely had to and actually had the soldiers an d support they needed. That dragons are a last resort & he agrees with Rhaenyra "surprisingly" ("The Blacks and the Greens"):

All belies this idea of him being a crazy warmonger with no restraint.

Let's just say that Daemon is definitively a war criminal. Would he be so unique in that? I don't see how Otto, Aegon the Elder, Criston Cole, Aemond, Daeron, the Hightowers, even Alicent, are all "war criminals". Daeron--Bitterbridge and those battle-damaged refugees, the raped people, Lady Caswell's end. Aemond: the Strongs, Alys Rivers, and the burning of the riverlands. And yet OP, again, makes Daemon out to be the instigator of many things....[below]

C)

Them:

He was a child murderer responsible for the brutal murder of a 6-year old boy and the threat of rape to a 6-year old girl. He encouraged the continuation of the Dance and vengeance against his enemies, dismissing his Hand's proposal for peace. He had the selfishness of Aegon IV, the brutality of Maegor, and the tyranny of Aerys II. And that’s just scratching the surface of the things he did, both before and during the Dance.

...Aemond was a child murderer in killing Luke, which prompted Daemon's reaction. Daemon didn't begin that. Again, I speak to this idea that Daemon instigates. No, he responds.

He didn't threaten any rape of a 6 year old, Cheese was quite clearly trying to hurry Helaena up and threaten that. That shows Cheese's character, not Daemon.

Now, that Daemon at all arranged for a murder of a child? Yes, horrible, which shows he's never bene a good person. (As if there was a great and consistent argument people used to say he was?) This is different from him instigating things or causing the war. No, Aemond did that by killing Luke unprovoked. And before people bring up the eye, I already wrote about that HERE, HERE and HERE. Even if I didn't, it had been years, Aemond made as if he was cool with it....so why did he run after teen-Luke or (bk) allow himself to be so triggered by Maris Baratheon's words about his manhood to go for straight up physical intimidation and murder?!

By "his Hand", I'm assuming they are saying HotD!Daemon refused Aegon the Elder's Hand--Otto--'s terms for peace.

Not only was it that in the bk, Rhaenyra refused the terms the green council sent Grand Maester Orwyle to deliver to her (her big speech about his not being a loyal maester/subject -- HotD removes/reduces Rhaenyra's fascinating assertion of power through calling out others' trying to redefine her worthiness as heir)...

This is Otto and Daemon in that last episode.

We need to remember that Otto is just as willing to risk a war if it gets him what he wants. He made that choice as soon as he pimped his daughter out to Viserys and kept insisting that Rhaenyra's position was defaulted once Aegon was born, as he says in this own. He is and never was willing to stave off a war. He is the one to insiste that Rhenyra is not even a "true" heir despite the fact that Viserys, time and time again, reinforced her position PUBLICLY. Otto explicitly says Rhaenyra is not the true heir. He was never about "protecting" anyone, much less the peasants who'd be caught up in this war.

So, again, I find it strange OP missed that and says Daemon is at fault for the war bc of a supposed bloodthirstiness for war and violence itself...when the man even backs off from Otto by Rhaenyra's order of "No" in that scene. Yes he was preparing the castle in case the greens attacked it as they coronated Aegon...wouldn't most of us one we hear news of a someone depowering or usurping the person we are tasked to protect?! Daemon is rather responding to what happening, which is Rhaenyra being usurped and pressing for her rights to the throne as Otto is trying to assert Aegon's right to the throne. Why is Otto figured as this righteous seeker of "order" and "peace" and not someone enabling an event where Rhaenyra is losing a thing due to her gender...esp since Otto is both the guy who suggested her appointment as heir in the first place AND the guy who explicitly said to Alicent that the reason he did so/and is plotting against her is bc she is a woman?!

He had the selfishness of Aegon IV, the brutality of Maegor, and the tyranny of Aerys II

He can't have any sort of "tyranny" if he's not the ruler or final authority of anything...so...

He's certainly self centered and only thinks about his own family's needs or desires. However, to say he's equal to Aegon IV, who willfully and purposefully and consciously set up a situation where a war could happen just to spite his son, wife, and brother out of pure jealousy is disingenuous. Aegon IV betrayed his own family; Daemon died for his family. And again, he canonically allowed himself to be subordinate to Rhaenyra. Can we really say Aegon IV is the same, when he rapes his sister after she explictly told him she didn't want to have sex with him anymore, threw away his various mistresses and daughters for new mistresses, neglected most of his kids?

As for being as "brutal" as Maegor...yeah, he wasn't opposed to torture and he, again, was no stranger nor repulsed or against using violence. He was brutal.

However unlike Maegor who tortured two of his wives and raped another (Rhaena), Daemon doesn't flagrantly use torture against those who--again--haven't already presented themselves as critical enemies. Alys Harroway was completely innocent even if she had had affairs bc she didn't endanger Maegor's life. Tyanna was unequivocally evil and carried out Alys' gruesome murder, even though she absolutely was being sidelined for not giving Maegor heirs--having to become "useful" to him otherwise [which is another discussion about class and misogyny in those spaces]. And she would have done so to the others if she had the chance. Tyland Lannister, though? He was hiding the secrets of the stolen royal treasury. (Aegon stole the throne, the greens moved funds that never should have been in their possession, and they did it specifically so they could diminish Rhaenyra's ability to really establish herself at KL in their absence. Which explicitly shows us that they aren't "legitimate" rulers bc Rhaenyra had still been alive and someone they had to get rid of. So yes the funds were stolen.)

So Daemon's brutality is of a different quality than Maegor's; the slight but very important difference between them is that Maegor hurt those closest to him while Daemon never stooped low, that far nor ever looked for a fight that wasn't there already.

D)

I think there is also a conflation of grey morality with unpredictability. Daemon was unpredictable, with his sudden elopements and kickstarting of wars and general mercuriality. The moral complexity of this, however, depends on his motives, and none of his are particularly complicated or difficult to morally pin down: he is primarily and consistently motivated by self-interest. If they happen to benefit others, it’s purely coincidental, and always secondary. Unpredictability does not automatically make someone morally grey, and it certainly doesn’t with Daemon. [...] If the narrative had leaned into his awfulness, he could have potentially been a fun villain.

I believe that once we realize that the "greyness" of Daemon stems from his insistence to put his family before his own search for power as a man about his being "good" to people not-his family, the greyness works. Because much of the Dance was also about defending the family you think or you really are defending. HotD!Alicent (and for some people, bk!Alicent, too) thinks she is protecting her kids from people using Rhaenyra and harming her kids (lying to herself)...but she really troggers a war that will end with ALL her kids dead and only 4 of 7 of Daemon and Rhaenyra's surviving. A war that lead to many sacks, the Riverlands burning the Strongs going extinct. All because Otto wanted more power and Viserys was an idiot and Jaehaerys was a misogynist and Aerys was stupid and Aegon I didn't take a chance.

Daemon of HotD explicitly says to Otto that he doesn't trust his sons with Aegon, the "drunken usurper cunt of a king"....and he was right to. If the show continues to make Aegon as he was in the bk, Aegon will threaten to mutilate Aegon III, castrate him, etc. so that Rhaenyra's line "must end". Aegon explicitly says as much in his conversation to Alicent abt how to stave off Rhaneyra's supporters.

'I rather think Daemon is one of the most predictable characters of this story. What is "unpredictable" is that because he doesn't try to be a "good" knight or typical protector or try to make people "love" him as Viserys does; or try to flatter others, he's "unpredictable" to those people who would have wanted him to be more like what Loras Tyrell puts out. And that sentiment, that reputation he built as being that more "shameless" bleeds through various tellings of his actions, esp with him & Nettles [refer to the very first link abt Nettles I have above].

There is a morality in how one treats one's family, as I implied through my comparison to Maegor. I also think of Jaehaerys and his treatment of Rhaena, Alysanne, his daughters, how he handled his succession, etc. Jaehaerys--through his abusiveness and sidelining of important, critical women around him--sets up the Dance. Yet many in the fandom think of him as an absolutely good king instead of a relatively good one. And through Jaehaerys and Aegon Iv and the rest, we see how protecting your family and valuing them above their roles contributes tot he overall stability of a dynasty's grasp on power bc all these sidelined women were able to politically contribute...but were sidelined and forced to make separate lives for themselves.

As I said, Daemon is motivated in part by legacy...as much as Visenya was with Maegor. But again, he didn't die at the Gods Eye for selfish ambition...otherwise he would have never allowed himself to die in the first place and even hand Nettles over. Even if he had been just sleeping with her, what would stop him from being totally selfish and handing her over to be killed similar to how several lords abandon their mistresses or one night stands? do we think that Tywin Lannister would advocate or try to help out Shea if she were to ever get into trouble? Sacrifice himself or disobey an order form another force/authority for here to live?!

Daemon was never going to be a villain, bc villains are characters who are amoral antagonists to the protagonist. "Villain" is a specific literary/media term, it's not a term you apply whatsoever just because the person is evil. Even protagonists can be amoral or eveil (Dorian Grey). But Daemon is actually one of the protagonists. The greens are the antagonists; they usurped the actual, main protagonists, Rhaenyra, and Daemon is on the protagonist's side. Once again, who loses more? The greens or the blacks? Whose line ends? Who has their last member (Jaehaera) killed in a manner similar to how Alicent became Viserys' queen consort? The greens. (Unwin Peake had Jaehaera killed to make way for his own daughter to marry Aegon III...Otto may not have killed Aemma or had her killed, but he & Alicent certainly was looking for power through a nonTarg Queen consort). Everuone is certainly punished for the war...but the greens lose utterly and didn't accomplish what they set out to do, which was to establish their own line of rulers.

It's like with Macbeth, who got to be king. But one of his killed adversaries and the scion of the past king he murdered--actually got to propagate the next line of kings. I also have to remind everyone that when Corlys said that Aegon the Elder should name Aegon the Younger as his heir, Alicent got pissed...showing that she and the greens banked on growing their own Targ line...so yeah this matters ("The Sad, Short Reign of Aegon II"):

No one ever said that unpredictability = moral greyness. The moral greyness was that he was a good dad and only cared about protecting his family in a way that many people even now would just think about protecting those close to them.

E)

Perhaps the most damning aspect of this blatant favoritism is how Daemon is turned into the essential protagonist of the Dance of the Dragons.

This line contradicts what the OP said about him being a villain...what gives?

Like I already said, villains in a story are antagonists, never the protagonist! Out of the story, amongst those discussing, we can maybe say that a protagonist is a "villain" in the nonliterary and colloquial sense but these should not erase/overpower the basic structure of the story being told. (if they are "villains" to your own personal set of values, that makes sense. but not for the story written)

And no, he's not the essential protagonist, he's one of them. Rhaenyra is rather the protagonist. The story is about a woman usurped of her throne and position because others took advantage of her being a woman and being the first female heir apparent that was actually intended to be Queen. The question of female rulership (and agency) is the center of the Dance alongside what the "price for power" is, which contextualizes Dany's own struggles from being a woman AND ruler. Learning how to be a better sort of ruler in the face of societies that already say she can never be so because if her gender AND the result of this Dance war that lead to more Targaryen women losing power the more it became embedded in Andal patriarchal culture for the dynasty's grip on power. Rhaneyra's foils are Aegon and his mother, Alicent. "Princess an the Queen"? And Aegon is the model for the Targaryen male royal who exemplifies all the unusual allowances this society gives to men while women like Rhaenyra are subjugated or condemned for doing mush less or simply things no one can say are immoral but somehow trouble the men's grip on power. Which is why Daemon is more of a positive force in her life than a negative and is "morally grey", bc he subordinates himself for her. Again, he fights for her and has his legacy through her winning. Rhaenyra's son Aegon derives his claim through her, not Aegon the Elder nor though Daemon ("Lineages and Family Tree"):

G)

His wives are all overshadowed by him and primarily defined by their relationship with him. Rhea Royce is an unfeatured non-entity who exists solely for him to hate, and conveniently dies in time for him to remarry. Laena is a beautiful, fiery, perfect companion who dies tragically young and in a conveniently gendered manner, once again in time for him to remarry. Rhaenyra is sidelined and eclipsed in her own war and her own story in favor of him. Nor should we forget his lovers: more time is spent describing Nettles and Mysaria’s relationships with Daemon than actually telling us more about them as individuals. Once he’s out of the picture for good, the former completely retreats from civilization, and the latter is gruesomely murdered by his enemies. Once again, all I can say is: Convenient.

Once again, Nettles was never his lover.

If you feel Daemon is more "interesting" than Rhaenyra, that's your own thing. However, again, Rhaenyra is the true center of the Dance, not Daemon. This is the basic structure & purpose of the narrative. Ignore the stupid dudebros. It is the rumors and Mysaria's deciding Rhaenyra that Nettles is Daemon's lover that springboards' Rhaenyra's fall. After Daemon dies, she still lives and has her own tragic end that has its own commentary on women in power and femicide.

For the story of Rhaenyra targeting Nettles to work, it has to be true that DaemonxNettles was never a thing...bc Rhaenyra became paranoid of betrayals after Ulf and Hugh defected and destroyed Tumbleton PLUS her grief from her two sons getting killed before she landed on KL.

Also, again, I very much doubt that he struck up an affair with Mysaria when they landed. Once again, this is a book written by a maester who was not there. Septon Eustace--who hates Rhaenyra...oh look more proof that it's all abt Rhaenyra--says that Daemon slept with Mysaria...he also says that Rhaenyra cut herself on the throne while wearing full armor and tries to say that this indicated she would never be a good ruler...Even f she had cut her palm, us as readers have to remember that even Aegon I was cut. Aegon IV, however, was never reported to be cut. Arguably one of the worst rulers Westeros ever had. This was a superstition, it was a chair made out of swords....come on, now! And if Mysaria were sleeping with Daemon, why would she choose to have him killed?! Especially when she stood to gain so much more from his being alive than dead as the their mistress of whispers? Rhaenyra was also very possessive of Daemon and more likely saw Mysaria as not trustworthy (without the context of Mysaria working for her) as she did Laena those years past. Proven by how she acted with Nettles. I doubt that she would allow Daemon to sleep with Mysaria without going crazy and putting a stop to it so Septon Eusatce can have more to write gleefully about.

What narrative purpose would Rhea Royce serve? What would she do for this purpose of the Dance but to be as she was--a minor character whose marriage to a specific Targ rather shows Jaehaerys and Alysanne bungling marriage alliances? If F&B doesn't give Rhea as much attention as it does Rhaneyra or Laena or Rhaneys or Alicent, it's because the story isn't about these "lesser" lords and ladies who are not there to not build up the central character's characterizations. that's how stories work. But perhaps more importantly, Gyldayn is writing F&B as its onw historical volume. F&B is a work against female rulership. Rhea being so used and so poorly matched with Daemon AND both Alysanne and Viserys' refusal to have this marriage annulled emphasizes the pattern of shallowly-described/de-personed women (like Ceryse Hightower, Alys Harroway, Jeyne Westerling____Yandel of AWoIaF--Barbra Bracken and Bethany Blackwood, Serenei of Lys, etc) are all because their authors--and those who related the tales to various people for the author to write into their histories--are uninterested in them bc they were women made into wombs. Rhea had no other political purpose but to tie Daemon down. That's Jaehaerys, Alysanne, and whoever was responsible for Rhea's faults. And again, it's meant to show us that Andal patriarchy-Targ monarchy paradigm that vicitmizes and suboridnates women.

Similar can be said of Laena, but because she cam from a much more important, wealthier family and was a dragonrider where she's allowed to express herself AND was best friends with Rhaenyra...there was no way she wouldn't have had soem more relative attention than the other women OP listed (except Rhaenyra). Laena was another supporting character, not a main one. And she also dies so Rhaneyra and Daemon will have Aegon III, from which we will have Dany, ASoIaF's savior. Just as Laenor and Harwin had to be removed somehow (Laenor through death bc there was no such thing as divorce) so Rhaenyra will marry Daemon and give us Dany.

Not to say that Laena's death was morally justified nor that it wasn't in a gendered manner...it's that it has a specific purpose in terms of ASoIaF's themes and structure. It's part of a larger commentary than what we just see in front of our eyes in this moment of HotD being the present ASoIaF project everyone's watching now. Basically, I'm saying: yeah, that's the whole point.

Should GRRM have reduced the number of women dying by childbirth? Maybe. Idk, there's a theory out there that I like where the maesters are the ones who stopped the Targ women, including Laena, from having more children or surviving childbirth. Not Alysanne because Jaehaerys was clearly the "dominant" of the two and they both more or less were pretty integrated into Andal patriarchy and supported the Faith, who the maesters have shared interests with. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Let's put it this way: if we say that if you impose childbirthing on 15-17 year olds (Rhaenys and Jocelyn Baratheon were both 16 at marriage; Rhaenyra 17; Alyssa Velaryon 14; Alyssa Targaryen 15; Helaena 13; *Laena 23) AND we see that on average Westerosi noblewomen marry at around 16-19 and start getting pregnant not long after, then why is it that the Targ women (except Alysanne) keep having under 3 kids and/or dying of childirth? But, again, I'll say this is a theory. It could very well be this AND the Westerosi practice of marrying noble girls off & having kids too young. Which is part of the allure of ASoIaF, but that's another thing.

H)

Narratively, the Greens suffer the most from this. All of them are caricatures meant to oppose the Blacks rather than individual characters in their own right

Easy; bc they started the war, their goals were simple, this is a book written by a guy who wasn't there, Alicent and Otto clearly raised their kids to see the blacks as their enemy bc they said the throne was their patriarchal birthright.

...Daemon compared to his nephew, Aemond Targaryen. Both of them are clearly meant to be narrative parallels: second sons, dangerous swordsmen, the heavy-hitting wildcards of the war, one of them claiming Visenya’s dragon and the other one possessing Visenya’s sword. Both of them committed heinous atrocities on equal proportion, the only difference being that Daemon lived longer and thus had the time to commit more. Yet the way they are portrayed could not be more different: Aemond is rightfully depicted as war criminal and a murderer, and is both one-dimensional and over-the-top in his awfulness; Daemon, on the other hand, has far more pagetime, is explored in far more detail, and has all his crimes contextualized as part of his glorified and non-existent “grey morality”. (And while this is not a direct criticism, it’s also a little weird that while Aemond is justifiably called Kinslayer, Daemon is not, despite the fact that he was responsible the death of his young grand-nephew, a suspect for the death of his good-brother, and the eventual killer of Aemond himself.) The narrative rightfully condemns one while painting the other as someone who was “made of light and darkness in equal parts”. The bias is very, very evident.

That's because Daemon is older and grows out of that fighting for glory's sake that Aemond is still in BUT unlike Daemon, Aemond--bc again he was raised by the ambitious greens who are basing their cause on reinforcing patriarchal privilege, Aemond was...unlikely to get where Daemon was bc he was still in that place of "proving himself" a "true" Targaryen warrior. Because he was raised to think a lot less of his own sister and see her as a threat to his own masculinity and power (similar to how Jaehaerys I will see Rhaena), he is that sexist and misogynist. IDK, I rather think he's very much like many men even today.

Daemon never burned down "civilians" just because he was angry and wanted to draw out an enemy. Nor did he have a sex slave. Mysaria, though a sex worker, was not a slave. Alys Rivers was a war prize, thus a sex slave. One that was made into a war prize by Aemond's own doing. Just bc the line seems thin, doesn't mean it's not there nor substantial. Aemond abandoned Alicent & Helaena and refused to go down south with Criston Cole because ("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

If he had taken Cole's advice, they could have rejoined Aegon and gotten rid of the Winter Wolves...oh well.

Returning to harming civilians yeah, Daemon swept through KL castrating and cutting people's hands off. In terms of sheer scale, no, this still isn't "equal" to Aemond's burning down the Riverlands, killing all the Strongs, etc.

Finally, just as Aegon serves as Rhaneyra's literary foil to emphasize her being the morally & politically better of the two, Daemon's foil is Aemond. As Robert Baratheon was Rhaegar's.

I)

(I’d also like to point out that a 50-year old man challenging his barely 20-year old nephew and winning against him is nowhere near as glorious or awe-inspiring as the book or its fans make it out to seem, but is in fact one of the most pathetically embarrassing things I've ever read about. I also don’t think it was realistic at all, and would have made more symbolic and literal sense for both of them to mutually kill the other. But that would result in GRRM’s favourite character getting the equal end of the stick for once, which is probably why it didn't happen)

...Aemond wanted that battle? He hungered for it?!

Most of All, and before anything else: the reasons why Daemon is considered the winner of his battle with Aemond despite both dying is that:

of the two, it is Daemon who succeeds in his intentions for this battle: to keep Aemond from being a threat to Rhaenrya & their family....Aemond went into battle believing he had a sliver of chance at survival AND winning--he risked it all for his own personal sense of glory and power...and he didn't get what he wanted

Daemon, unlike Aemond, never faltered or hesitates in his plans or intent or the trajectory before nor during the actual battle and its' pretty clear how in sync he was with Caraxes (written and explained below)---it belies a level of self control that we do not see in Aemond

Yes, absolutely this uncle & nephew trying to destroy each other in is terrible by their relations; their battle was one of the conflicts within the war that represented an element of one of the overall tragedies, which was the Targaryens splitting into competing factions and not only losing most of those they loved but also destroying several communities while they were at i for power. However, this doesn't erase the fact that once again, even when we make Aemond and any green more "complicated" and not caricatures...the fact of the matter is that the greens were in the wrong for beginning the war with their insistence on male primogeniture...bc the principles behind their reasons So Daemon is the more admired party precisely because he's defending the person the wrong has bene done to AND destroying the very person who triggered this war in the first place. That's the first layer to the excitement of this scene that dude-bros would probably never appreciate, and I think that because some people do not really think about the implications of many stories about F&B and discrimination even against noblewomen in Westeros (because they take it from granted), many of them end up being so neutral or taking the anti-Rhaenyra/black tone of the narrative as it is instead of examining how and why it's written, section by section. So they also miss the point about how the Targs assimilated into Andal patriarchy and sexism and women losing more and more power and agency and it becoming more and justified, leading to the Dance. And it's bc people do not look at the Dance nor the entire book feministly or at least with a woman-centered lens, they ended up not really engaging with the stories. Putting it all off as "unreliable" on time when they are questioned as to why they think certain things happened despite yada, yada....and then going on to make arguments about characters as if they understand them, read them, and/or have lived in that world alongside them. Again, issue d they claim that we can't understand the characters or th0ier true motives and don't bother to understand how Gyldayn wrote the book for a particular purpose...and then go on the claim that he/the book is telling all truths.

Another layer/reason why it is as glorified as it was was because, as this OP mentions, it was expected for Daemon to lose since Aemond had Vhagar. He new he'd lose his life...but he went in anyway with no backup bc Aemond was one of Rhaenrya's--again, Rhaenyra at center--biggest opps and she had a better chance of winning without him in the picture. Plus, this is the same guy who killed a 14 year old Daemon raised as his own for more than 10 years in the book and 6 in the show. Once again, unprovoked. Does it matter that he was 20 to Daemon's 49 when he killed Luke when he was 19 and Luke was 14? When Aemond pushes a 3 year old Joffrey when he was 10 in his way to get to Vhagar? that he beats up his younger nephews and cousins. Yet somehow many fans say "he had to" or they say he was "cool" and praise him for it?!

And this is not as criticized as much as people saying Daemon "unrealistically" kills his nephew....

Also, I already wrote a post comparing Jaehaerys I v Braxton Beesbury to Daemon v Aemond HERE. It goes into the "realism" of an older dude against a younger one. Excerpt:

Caraxes also making sure he stays connected to Vhagar so Daemon can do his thing

We have to pay attention to the language of the battle. there is a synchronicity b/t Caraxes and Daemon that Aemond lacked with Vhagar AND may clue us in on the Targs and how they view/interact/bond with their dragons ("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

Caraxes dove down upon Vhagar with a piercing shriek that was heard a dozen miles away, cloaked by the glare of the setting sun on Prince Aemond’s blind side. The Blood Wyrm slammed into the older dragon with terrible force. [...] Locked together, the dragons tumbled toward the lake. The Blood Wyrm’s jaws closed about Vhagar’s neck, her black teeth sinking deep into the flesh of the larger dragon. Even as Vhagar’s claws raked her belly open and Vhagar’s own teeth ripped away a wing, Caraxes bit deeper, worrying at the wound as the lake rushed up below them with terrible speed. And it was then, the tales tell us, that Prince Daemon Targaryen swung a leg over his saddle and leapt from one dragon to the other.

Despite them both falling, Caraxes remains gripping Vhagar and having to know of the danger, Caraxes still holds Vhagar. Daemon won't let Aemond go; Caraxes won't let Vhagar go. Vhagar is trying to get Caraxes off her; Aemond is trying to get his chains off him to escape Daemon. Caraxes is holding onto Vhagar so Aemond cannot escape from Daemon and Daemon has a stable edge over Aemond to plunge Dark sister into Aemond's head. They see to work together and take their final turns to eliminate this threat. These are all why this passage--for all the stuff about how we nor even the few witnesses there (Alys Rivers and some fisherman) can't possibly know it definitely happened this way--is so important, impresses people. It also needed to be there bc the alternative--a mere summary of Daemon killing Aemond and people finding the sword/bodies--is comparatively more boring. (Daemon at Harrenhal, waiting for Aemond, as set up for the narrative value of their deaths)

Why didn't GRRM treat Luke's death the same, with as much detail? Luke had no substantial degree of advantage over Aemond as Daemon did. They were not even close to being on any "equal" or footing? Luke had no chance; the moment was meat to highlight how little chance he had, how much of a victim he was. It wasn't a battle--it was just ordinary murder and served to make Aemond one of the critical the instigator of the war. What would it add/reveal?

Even if he "accidentally" killed Luke, he still decided to fly after him and "teach him a lesson", provoked into killing for glory or proving a point alone even at the cost of endangering his folks at home. It doesn't matter, really, whether he meant to murder him or not. It began the war--the end. What would a details of a victim's murder (in the context of a historical text) do for the story that the murder itself doesn't already? Or corresponding advantages vs disadvantages that Aemond and Daemon had?

Whereas Daemon's killing Aemond has many layers about:

him

dragon bonds

Rhaenyra

the sides' motives and deterioration into the state they were in, of which I already described

I'll say this about HotD!Aemond "accidentally" killing Luke; it may provide a a layer of Aemond deciding at every turn to dig more into his heels about destroying the blacks because then he won't have to justify his errors and wrongs if he just wins. thus his stupidity during the war, esp the one with Cole going south and him staying behind...perhaps he will think he's "making up" for that mistake...idk.

And we know that Daemon managed to get Aemond through the eye bc the text explicitly states that people found said sword in Aemon's eye when he was left there, still tied to Vhagar at the bottom of the lake at the Gods Eye ("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

Sometimes, in fiction, what seem to be smaller concessions of logic are simply fun and/or have a larger purpose and/or supply basis for something bigger and have ther own valid "logic" that is critical to other themes. This is one of those times.

You may not like GRRM's writing of Daemon and you may hate Daemon no matter what...but to make interpretation errors because of that dislike and allowing that dislike to color how you see what's actually written doesn't make for a sound literary critique. There are fair critiques of how GRRM writes his female vs male characters, especially Tyrion, Shea, the constant childbirth death...Daemon being, say, the "center" of the Dance is certainly not one of them. You have rather bought into some of the propaganda and rumor mongering prevalent that is meant to degrade Rhaenyra. Which I guess make F&B so good; it accomplished what it set out to do.

[oceandiagonale]

OC Sunday is back!! I've been a little hesitant to send anything because I know you've been doin a LOT lately and didn't want to overwhelm you, but seeing people talk about their OCs got me excited enough to get over my nervousness ksjdhf. I mostly wanna talk about her because her relationship towards Volo is so vastly different from Gene's relationship with him and it's fascinating to me!

Without further ado, here she is! Her name is Alessandra, and she was who I played with during my first PLA Playthrough. She's also who I played during my Brilliant Diamond playthrough, sooo she's canonically pulled from my Brilliant Diamond world post-championship and saving the world. She's chipper, spunky, and determined to see the best in people no matter what.

Having come from a much gentler world though, she was... not prepared for the trials Hisui would throw at her. She ended up getting some kind of scar for every Noble fight I had trouble with (as well as a marking from Arceus when she got eebie-deebied).

Over her time in Hisui, she started losing some of her memories from Sinnoh- and though she tried to hide it, this freaked her out to NO end. The only person who knew was Volo, who she immediately got attached to because of how much he resembled Cynthia who she had seen as a big sister figure before her fall.

When the Red Sky spread across Hisui, she willingly left the village to try and find out how to fix things. Volo quickly joined her, amd her gratitude towards him only grew. As they went to contact the Lake Spirits, Mespirit sensed that there was something wrong with the vibes and tried to warn her, but she didn't listen.

And then, well... the confrontation at the Temple happened. Alessandra was so in shock that she thought it had to be a nightmare, some remnant of her memories of when she fought Cyrus trying to taint her current life. But it was soon clear enough that it was reality, no matter how unbelievable it was to her. Through tears and confusion, she sent out her Typloshion and the fight began.

After a long drawn out battle, her Leafeon almost dying after jumping in the way of Giratina's surprise strike aimed directly at her, Volo was defeated. She had won, but she couldn't even bring herself to speak. She simply sat there, the rest of her injured team huddled around her to protect her with the last of their strength, but it was unnecessary. By the time she snapped back to reality, Volo was gone, the plate he had been taunting her with left in his place.

Alessandra spent the next several weeks despondent, a total opposite to her normal self. Eventually she got herself together enough to do missions again, and there she encountered Volo again in the Solaceon Ruins. They argued back and forth for a while about whether this world was still salvagable and capable of change, and Alessandra offered to help Volo find a place in the world again if he helped her in contacting Arceus. She had never admitted it, but she had her own frustrations with Arceus dropping her here away from everything she'd ever known and knew if anyone could help her get answers, it was him.

Now the two have an awkward, uneasy alliance- Volo still confused on why she would offer him kindness after everything he'd done, and Alessandra just relieved to know that not everything Volo had done was a facade and that the man she'd grown to see as a brother was still in there.

TLDR;

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, HER DESIGN, HER STORY, 100% WOULD READ MORE ABOUT HER IN A HEARTBEAT 😭😭😭😭

I'm so glad she got to meet volo after everything, it's so 👁️👁️🥊🥊🥊🥊 that we NEVER get to see him again in game and like, resolve anything, and it's like so unfulfilling, so MAN thank goodness her story actually has some catharsis and healing in it 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

also her character design is literally just so cute, the freckles being from arceus is such a unique take on a blessing mark, just 🥺🥺🥺

[wordthieve]

9-1-1: In which I started digging around and now there's a big ol' hole in my yard and I'm not sure what it means.

I really do go back and forth about whether 9-1-1 will ever have Buck and Eddie become something more for each other. Don't get me wrong: they absolutely should. But I fluctuate on whether it will actually happen. Sometimes it seems inevitable. Other times I think it's a procedural and I'm not sure the higher ups have the guts or the inclination.

So, for the purposes of the following essay, let's presume in good faith: let's say they are laying the groundwork deliberately and let's say the producers are on board and there's a plan in place. And let's look at the season 6 finale, because I've realised two things.

One: season finale is not series finale.

It did kind of feel like maybe the showrunners were concerned that the show was getting cancelled, and were looking to wrap things up as neatly as possible. Or maybe that's not fair - maybe that's something we (or maybe just me) the audience put on things. But just because Eddie is dating Marisol doesn't mean he's marrying Marisol. In FACT, given all the revelations that he's never actually dated, maybe it's more likely that he's just going to ... date.

At this point, I'd like to point you all towards this incredibly thoughtful post by @andavs about Eddie's characterisation of someone with PTSD, because it is incredibly well written and interesting and kind of astonishing - whether there was this much work put into his character by the writers and the actor, or whether both of those groups took the character outline and, simply by moving intelligently in that direction, landed on something true.

In light of that, I can see Eddie's decision to date Marisol as one he makes, at long last, for himself and himself alone. He is going to allow himself to date for himself.

And Buck ... is with Natalia, and that's ... something. Yes, the implications of the finale for the couch theory that the show itself created and acknowledged is ... disappointing. BUT.

If you're still here ... I mentioned I'd realised two things.

In the final moments of the finale, what song is playing?

This show is never subtle when it comes to music, which is part of the hammy fun of it. Season finale final songs, though:

In season 1 "Shake It Out" by Florence + the Machine was underscoring Bobby and Athena starting to date again.

(Season 2 doesn't help this, so I'm skipping it)

In season 3 Yaz's "Only You" is probably most geared towards Maddie and Chim expecting a baby, but it's also Athena healing surrounded by her family.

Season 4, after the sniper attack, Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper" is about rising up out of trauma, but most of the lyrics are about the work necessary to get there - the singer is not standing tall right now, but they will. Which is optimistic for Eddie and Maddie, but of course healing is not linear.

Season 5's "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls is SUCH a good song, and it's celebrating feeling better, but it's as much about the dark things the singer waded through to get here - Eddie is back with the 118 but it's been a hard slog to get there. Buck breaks up with Taylor and moves towards something more optimistic, knowing what he wants a little more. But mostly Eddie is back. YAY!

Now. NOW. Season 6 ends with Buck and Natalia, and Eddie dating Marisol, and the rest of them doing other things, while they do yoga on the roof and it's magic hour and it's tempting to think of it as a "happy ending". But the song playing is "Myth" by Beach House. And the lyrics to that song are interesting.

Consider:

Can’t keep hanging on To all that’s dead and gone If you build yourself a myth Know just what to give What comes after this momentary bliss?

So the yoga moment on the roof is a good one, and everyone is content, but ... what about the next moment? Is this a cautionary tale about the way we try to make our lives fit a certain narrative and -- importantly -- what that costs? Is Buck, who has spent the season focused on Becoming, on being At Ease, finally finding that ease, or is he creating a myth of one? And what might that cost? Is Eddie, who seems like he's finally putting himself first in some ways, starting to build a life in the shape he wants?

The chorus is: "Help me to name it".

To be honest, I'm not sure if I've landed on anything definitive or even significant. But here we are. And it's very possible I've convinced myself this is a thing so that I can maintain the hope for Buck and Eddie becoming BuckandEddie, but, well. I guess I'm interested.

What do you think: is this anything? Do I fill this hole with water and make a swimming pool or just fill it back in? Is this metaphor really, really stupid?

[snarky-gourmet]

necessary context: x

I'm posting these all together to more effectively address these-- thank you for taking the time to write this out. I'm not going to lie, for several days I've gone back and forth between whether or not I'd direcrtly answer you or not because some of the wording you used set off alarms not only to me but to other people I asked their thoughts on all this. I'm choosing to still take your words in good faith, and I hope that isn't the wrong decision.

I straight up don't know what you mean by "people in the leftist sphere deliberately engaging in dual loyalty blood libel." I know what dual loyalty is, I know what blood libel is, but when I tried to gather context for that combined phrase, all I got were zionists claiming it was antisemitic to claim that the israeli occupation was deliberately targeting palestinian children in the genocide. That is what the israeli occupation is doing. To be clear. Like that is what they are doing and that is what supporting zionism is also endorsing... it's not feeding into a conspiracy theory to state that they are killing palestinian children, on purpose, for the sake of committing a genocide, and I'm remarkably concerned with not being able to find anything not highly suspicious to help sort out what you meant.

Out of an abundance of caution and desire to be as clear as possible, I also don't wish for this to descend into a back and forth argument of "what you said was suboptimal" "oh yeah well what you said was also suboptimal", however I want to make clear to anyone who reads this that your words are your own and I am also not necessarily in agreeance with bringing up and emphasising OP's status as a muslim while trying to discern their motives, or the (accidental?) condescending tone that accompanies "i think they're hurting But(..)", nor am I particularly comfortable delving into the topics of religiosity in this context, as you said it is a separate issue, but also because I think it's a road to nowhere for two people who are not jewish, and presumably not muslim, to weigh in on. However I want to thank you for bringing up the contents of their blog, and their habitual conflation of zionism with judaism, because if you hadn't, I would not have gone to check, nor been made aware that there actually are more relevant examples of blatent antisemitism on their blog that inform the place in which they wrote the post in question from earlier. Someone who makes that sort of post is not someone I want to engage with or agree blindly with on any level.

I think despite both of our best efforts, this will ultimately still boil down to a case of semantics; we seem to have different understandings of why exactly general comparisons between nazism and zionism have been made, as well as why it persists, and colloquial use of the terminology with regards to what constitutes someone or some entity receiving accusations or a label of specifically nazism over fascism.

My understanding of the greater topic at hand, apart from the OP's post--which as established, has a bias attached to it that renders it in need of criticism--is that fascism and nazism are not being conflated 1:1 and used interchangably in these instances, nor is the label of nazi being thrown around to punish or weed out "bad jews", as you imply. (As an aside, I honestly am quite wary of bringing up that sort of terminology here when we are talking about an ethnostate abusing judaism to justify its end goals; I'm unsure it's situationally appropriate to liken this to practices of tokenism, and I can see it being read a bit too closely to the common talking point that zionism being criticised is inherently antisemitic, due to misconstruing the point and insisting that it's not the colonial violence, establishment of an ethnostate, racism, apartheid, genocide, etc, that's wrong, but that it's a jewish state doing it that people simply don't like, which is not something I wish to impart, nor do I think that was your intention for that matter, but I do not feel comfortable posting this while not offering a disclaimer.) Rather, it is the label being applied to a geopolitical entity that has adopted ideals, apart from "just" textbook fascism, that are also inherent to those of the broader nazi ideology, specifically--such as but not limited to the topics and practices I previoisly mentioned in the last reply--and also the way in which the israeli occupation upholds ideals of racial superiority, white supremacy in particular. It's nowhere "just" the weaponisation of forced starvation where the similarities lie. If you were to hear someone call a group of people "human animals", or paint themselves as "the children of light" and their targets "the children of dark", for example, it would be reasonable to immediately label this nazi rhetoric, regardless of who is saying it, because things exactly like this were and still are said by those who are nazis. By extension, if you were to see an ethnostate practice and enforce eugenics, such as forcing ethiopian jewish women to take contraceptives against their knowledge as a condition of being allowed into israel, or the marriage laws that exist within israeli society barring jews from marrying non-jews, and argue ethnic superiority, it would be kind of wild to choose to die on the hill of insisting that people not liken that to nazi ideology. Not all fascism is automatically nazism, but if something mirrors nazism specifically, this closely, there are going to be people calling it that, because that's what it looks like and that's what it operates like. I do not believe it is any coincidence either that those who aren't jewish and are on the alt-right very often wind up being outspoken zionists, even in cases where those same people are also outspoken antisemites and even self identify as nazis, neo-nazis, or white supremacists. The ideologies ironically do not conflict like they seem they should, and I firmly push back against the insinuation that pointing this out is feeding into the israeli propaganda that says all jews are only safe as fellow colonisers in an occupied palestine, especially when zionists target non-zionist jews with particular ferocity.

Ultimately, I'm unsure if either of us, as not just one, but two gentiles, are actually in an acceptable position to debate the broader appropriateness of this matter definitively, and how it pertains to the language that we use. But I do think it's remarkably important to pay mind to who we share words from, and how those words may come across, and exercise due caution to avoid missteps.

Among the people whos stances and words have informed my understanding of matters as detailed above, I have seen a remarkable amount of jews themselves liken zionism--and the methods of genocide the israeli occupation implements--to nazis, nazism, and the holocaust, calling to attention their own familial trauma and experiences while doing so, as well as detailing the massive slap in the face it is to all jews for the israeli occupation to weaponise judaism while committing acts of such incredible depravity, especially in cases where defenders of and active participants in zionist violence continue to say "never again". But this very well could be one of those things where it's okay for some people to say, and not others-- and as in cases like the OP of that post, there is a clear problem with someone saying that while also partaking in blatant antisemitism. I'm not sure, as it's not something that everyone most affected are likely to agree on collectively, but I don't think that everyone who makes these comparisons is inherently operating in bad taste, have intentions of malice, or are throwing around words carelessly. I want to make it abundantly clear that I am not out here saying "well I'M going to be saying it, because if they did it then it's ok for me to" or anything of the sort-- because I'm not, and I don't feel it'd be an appropriate response reflective of our conversation's goals. With such an issue, I think it's important to recognise as much nuance as possible, while also treading as carefully as possible, in any given situation, and to carefully examine sources for potential prejudice that alter the overall message being conveyed and the wording used, which are all things that drastically changed the perception of the initial OP's post, and I do want to stress that I am thankful for you bringing that to my attention

[spnhunter4life]

End Up Here Chapter 5

Chapter Summary: When the weekend rolls around again, Dean and Emily go on their second date.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: Thanks to everybody who has been keeping up with this story! I know it's a little slow and probably boring compared to some of the other things I've written, but I just really enjoy a chill, drama free story every now and then. I know that's not for everybody though. I'm getting this ready to go on the same day I posted chapter 1, so I have no idea what the response will be, but hopefully there's a few people enjoying it!

Masterlist Series Masterlist

I didn’t hear from Dean on Saturday, which I was disappointed about. But I reminded myself we’d gone out just that morning and I shouldn’t expect him to message me so soon. Nothing from him on Sunday either. No problem, I assured myself. It was still way too early to worry about it. When he still hadn’t contacted me on Monday, I had a harder time convincing myself not to stress about it. Which was ridiculous anyway. I barely knew the man. If he never talked to me again, what was I really losing?

But when I got a text message during my lunch break on Tuesday, the hopeful anticipation I tried to ignore but nonetheless felt every time my phone went off recently was finally validated. I couldn’t contain my grin. Jackie, Hannah, and Morgan, who were all eating with me, noticed my reaction.

“You look awfully happy. Who’s texting you?” Hannah asked.

“Yes, Emily. Whoever could it be?” Jackie added with a teasing smile.

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, so you might as well just come out and say it,” I told her. I was still smiling though as I answered his text. It was just a simple ‘how are you doing’ message, but I was just thrilled to finally hear from him.

“It’s that guy I saw you with a few days ago, isn’t it?” Jackie said more than asked. “He was cute.”

“Yes, he is very cute,” I agreed. “As everybody keeps pointing out.”

“Well it’s not like we’ve had a chance to talk to him. Cute is all we have to work with,” Morgan said.

“If that’s your way of asking to meet him, you’ll be disappointed. I just met him. We’re not exactly at the introducing to friends and family phase yet.”

“Of course not. We’re just all so happy to see you so excited about a guy. It’s about time,” Morgan teased.

We’d been texting back and forth at irregular intervals – just whenever one of us had a free minute – ever since. 

Now it was late afternoon on Thursday and I was sitting at my desk with Ziggy curled up asleep in my lap, finishing some paperwork while I waited for the last class of the day to finish so I could go home. It was Lauren’s class, not mine, but as head instructor and the only person on staff who was PATH certified, I was required to be around for all the classes, whether I was teaching them or not. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I finished the file I was working on before taking it out to check it. I smiled when I saw that the text was from Dean. My smile grew even bigger when I read what he’d said.

I think I’ve had enough of all this texting. I’d rather talk to you in person. How does tomorrow night sound?

“Ooh, is that Dean again?” Hannah asked, noting the look on my face as she walked into the office. “What’s he saying?”

“He asked if I want to go out tomorrow night,” I told her. She gasped.

“That’s so great! I’m so excited for you!” She squealed.

“What? What happened?” Morgan asked, jogging in from the other room.

“Emily has a date with Dean tomorrow!” Hannah informed her.

“That is great news! What are you guys doing?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to even answer him about going out yet.”

“Well answer him!” Hannah ordered me. “And then tell me all about it tomorrow because unfortunately I need to leave. I’m supposed to pick up my niece from daycare and I can’t be late.”

“See you tomorrow!” I called as she walked out the door. 

“So? What are you gonna tell him?” Morgan asked.

“I’m gonna say yes, of course,” I told her.

Then Lauren opened the door and walked in with a big sigh. 

“Paperwork at the end of a long day. My favorite thing,” she said. “What are you guys talking about?” She asked when she was sitting at the desk the other instructors used to fill out rider files.

“Oh, nothing.” Morgan smiled. “Just Emily’s upcoming date with Dean.”

“Shut up. Really?” Lauren asked. “When are you going out? What are you doing? When did he ask you? Tell me everything!” 

“There’s really nothing to tell,” I said, standing up from my desk. I set Ziggy down on the floor and put the file I’d been working on back in the desk drawer. I heard sounds of protest from Lauren as I walked around the room collecting my things. “Seriously. He only asked me like five minutes ago. That’s all the detail I have.”

Then I walked out of the office, holding the door open for Ziggy to follow and throwing a goodbye over my shoulder. A quick peek through the window saw Lauren sticking her tongue out at me. I just laughed and walked to my car. Once alone, I pulled out my phone to text Dean back.

That sounds great! What did you have in mind?

Once my message was sent, I connected my phone’s bluetooth to the radio and drove home, spending the trip trying to decide what I would wear tomorrow.

~~~~~

The next day seemed to drag on way too slowly. The morning wasn’t too bad. Rose taught the three classes before lunch and I always used the time to catch up on other things that needed to be done. I easily kept myself busy and distracted. 

I ate lunch with Rose and Jackie. We discussed how classes were going and the upcoming trip for our local Special Olympics.

“I think I want to get Justin off of Trixie and onto a bigger horse,” Rose was saying. “Not until after Special Olympics, obviously. I’m not going to put him on an unfamiliar horse just before that. But he’s starting to outgrow her.”

“Yeah, I think so too. He’s outgrowing the saddle too. The stirrups are just barely long enough for him. Which horse are you thinking of switching him to?” I asked.

“I haven’t decided for sure. I figured I should check with you and see what you thought, but I was leaning towards Blaze. She’s still a relatively small horse so it won’t be too drastic of a change for him. And she’s really tolerant of squirmy, noisy riders.”

Trixie was our smallest horse, a cute little bay pony that all the small kids wanted to ride. Blaze was – in my opinion – our best horse. With 12 years of work here, she had been here longer than any of our other horses. She was just a couple steps up from being a pony herself, a great size for small to medium riders, and she was the most patient, even tempered horse I’d seen in my life.

“Yeah, Blaze would definitely work. Or maybe Captain.”

“Oh yeah, I didn’t even think about him. Justin would probably love him.”

Somehow, by some miracle I wasn’t going to question, neither Jackie or Rose brought up my date with Dean tonight. I was grateful because keeping my mind off of it was the only way to keep time from dragging. 

But the later in the day it got, the slower time seemed to go. By the time my second to last class rolled around, I was itching to get out of here for the day and found myself checking the time more frequently than I should. 

Just an hour and half to go, I reminded myself.

Dean and I had talked more last night to figure out a plan. I told him I wouldn’t be available until 7:30, maybe a little later. He assured me that was fine. Our plan was to grab something to eat at Applebee’s and then play some mini golf. It wasn’t anything fancy, but I preferred it that way. Simple and fun.

I had just said goodbye to the last riders of the day and was getting ready to put everything away for the night when Hannah and Morgan walked out.

“We’ll get everything put away tonight. You just go ahead and get home to get ready for your date,” Morgan said.

“Are you sure? It’ll just take me a few minutes,” I said.

“Exactly. Just a few minutes. We can spare a few minutes,” she answered. 

“Ok. Well, thank you!” I told them as I headed for the office.

I would once again have to do class notes another day, but I did jot down a couple things I didn’t want to forget. Then I gathered up all my things and went home to get ready.

~~~~~

I pulled into the Applebee’s parking lot feeling like I was overflowing with nerves and excitement. I spotted a big sleek black car parked a few spaces down. This had to be Dean’s car.

He beat me again then, which obviously wasn’t a bad thing. I just hoped he hadn’t been waiting for a long time. I was only five minutes late though, and I’d warned him while I was getting ready that I might not quite make the agreed upon meet time, despite my best efforts.

I’d showered as quickly as I could, putting gel in my hair once I was out to combat the inevitable frizz once it dried, and then put it back in a low ponytail on the left side of my head, draping it over my shoulder. I wore light colored ripped skinny jeans paired with a green shirt whose sleeves had the shoulders cut out, an outfit I’d laid out on my bed this morning in an effort to save time. I even had makeup on tonight, something he hadn't seen yet. It felt good to put the time into looking nice.

I took a deep breath to try and calm my nerves a little and then stepped into the restaurant. Dean, who had been sitting in the little waiting area, stood as soon as he saw me. He was looking very handsome in a pair of jeans and a red button up shirt. The sleeves were rolled up just past his elbows, exposing his strong forearms.

“Hey,” he said when I reached him.

“Hi,” I answered. “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s no big deal,” he said, waving off my apology as we walked towards the hostess. “Especially since you warned me ahead of time.”

“Just the two of you tonight?” The hostess asked.

“Yes,” Dean confirmed.

“Alright. Follow me,” she said, grabbing a couple of menus and leading us to a table.

The waiter came by to take our drink orders as soon as we were seated.

“I listened to the songs you gave me,” I told Dean when the waiter was gone.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, perking up. “What’d you think?”

“They were good!” I said. I liked all of them, even really enjoyed some of them. “I mean, if I’m being honest, I probably won’t be adding any of them to my playlist, but I wouldn’t change the station if they came on the radio.”

“Well you must not have liked them that much then,” Dean smiled wryly. “Which is fine, by the way. I just wanted to know what you thought of actual good rock music.”

“Good by your definition. I bet there are plenty of people out there who would argue that your music sucks and the real good rock music is like… I don’t know. Fall Out Boy or something.”

Dean wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Well they would be wrong then. And clearly have no idea what they’re talking about,” he said. I laughed.

“It’s an opinion, Dean, not a fact. You can’t be wrong about an opinion. And by the way, I really did like the songs. I’m just picky about what I put on my playlist.”

We were both quiet for a couple of minutes as we scanned our menus. The waiter came back with our drinks, took our orders and then collected our menus.

“You know, if you wanted to give me a list of songs to listen to, it would only be fair,” Dean said.

“Oh. Thanks for the offer, but no,” I said.

“What? Why not?”

“Because you’re not gonna like my music,” I told him.

“Well the point isn’t to find something I’m guaranteed to like. It’s just to give me an idea of what you like.”

“Yeah, but… my playlist is a little bit all over the place. I probably have some stuff in there you wouldn’t mind. But if you ask me to pick favorites, it’s going to be a lot of pop stuff that you would hate. Plus it would be really hard for me to narrow down my favorites.”

“Alright,” he agreed, realizing how strongly I felt about this. “If you ever change your mind though, you’re entitled to ten songs that I have to listen to.”

It was sweet of him to offer. And I did love sharing songs I liked with people. Just… usually people I was a little more familiar with. People who already had a clear understanding of what music I liked. 

“I guess I do have two songs for you,” I told him after I thought about it for a minute.

“Great! What are they?”

They were two of my favorites and there was even a chance he might actually like one of them. The other… I wasn’t sure what he would think of it, but he was much more likely to like it than a lot of the other stuff I liked.

“The first one is Soldiers by Otherwise. That one’s actually what I would consider more on the rock side of things. You might actually like it.”

“You don’t have to sell me on it,” he chuckled. “I’m listening to it no matter what. That was the deal. What about the other one?”

“Legends Never Die by Against the Current.”

“Interesting title. You might have to remind me what the names are later, but I’m looking forward to checking them out.”

We spent the rest of dinner talking about everything from movies and hobbies to embarrassing memories and favorite vacations.

Dean paid again, despite my protests, and then we made our way out to the parking lot.

“You can ride with me if you want,” Dean offered. “There’s not much point in us both driving when we’re going to the same place. I’ll bring you back here when we’re done.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “As long as you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” he assured me. 

I followed as he headed in the direction of the car I had correctly assumed to be his. 

“Nice car,” I said, knowing he would appreciate the compliment, even if it came from someone that had no idea what they were talking about.

“Thanks!” He smiled proudly as we both got in. “She used to be my dad’s. I remember even as a kid looking at her sitting in the garage and just admiring her. Then Dad got into an accident about five years back. He was ok, but the car was a mess. He wanted to just sell her to a scrap yard, but I couldn’t stand to see that happen. I fixed her up myself and Dad gave her to me after that.”

“Wow. You must be some mechanic,” I said. “I would have never known this thing had been in an accident.”

Dean just brushed off the praise. He put the keys in the ignition and the car rumbled to life. 

“I think I know how to get there,” he said. “But if I take a wrong turn or something, let me know.”

We weren’t far away at all, probably less than five minutes. If he had any sense of direction, I didn’t think he could really get lost. I agreed anyway, though.

“So you said this was only your second week here?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“How’s it been? How are you liking the new job and your apartment and the town?”

“I’m liking it so far,” he told me. “The job’s good. It’s been a little slow at times, but I much prefer working by myself at a privately owned business than one of those big name places. I like the shop, I like Joe… it’s been a good start. Which isn’t always the case.”

I was glad to hear things were going well for him. Maybe they would continue to go well and he would stay here. Not that he had any immediate plans to pack up and move somewhere new – at least not that he’d told me – but I did wonder if this would be the town he finally decided was a good place to make his home.

“The apartment’s good too. Rent is a lot more reasonable than I’ve had in a while. It’s in good shape, it’s close to work, and I don’t have noisy neighbors. It’s definitely not where I want to be long term, but it’s a good starting point.”

“Yeah, that’s the nice thing about this town. Rent is usually very reasonable. People typically charge what the place is actually worth. Doesn’t guarantee a great apartment, but at least you’re not overpaying for a shoebox apartment that hasn’t been updated in thirty years.”

I’d stayed in a couple such places while I was in school because I hadn’t been able to afford anything better. I wouldn’t ever want to go back to either of them, but at least I knew I got my money’s worth. 

“What about the town?” I asked again.

“It seems nice so far. Clean streets, thriving businesses, nice people. I usually find small town midwesterners to be pretty friendly and easy to get along with though, so that’s not a surprise.”

We pulled into the parking lot of the town’s indoor mini golf course. There was an outdoor one too, which I preferred, but it was getting too late for that one. It was almost dark out, so they probably were just letting people already out there finish up but not allowing new games.

“There is this one girl in particular that I’m really enjoying getting to know,” he continued once he’d parked and shut the engine off. He turned to look at me with a small smile pulling at one corner of his mouth. “She might be my favorite thing about this town so far.”

I blushed and looked down. I tried to push some hair back behind my ear – a nervous habit of mine – only to realize it was in a ponytail and I couldn’t.

“You haven’t gotten out very much then,” I told him. He chuckled.

“That’s probably true. But I’m pretty sure that even if I had, that wouldn’t change things.”

“Alright, well let’s go play some mini golf,” I said, opening my door and stepping out. I looked over and saw him stand up too. “I’m telling you now, I suck at this. I don’t know how good you are, but don’t go easy on me. Because you’ll probably still win anyway.”

We both walked around to the front of the car and then towards the door.

“I thought you said you liked mini golf,” he said.

“I do. You can enjoy something that you’re bad at.” 

He smiled widely at me and I nearly lost my breath at the way it lit up his handsome face. Oh, he was dangerous. I didn’t think he was even doing it on purpose.

“I like that attitude. Just because you suck at something doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.”

We got up to the front desk – Dean paying again, of course – took the clubs, scorecard, and pencil they handed us and each picked out a ball. I took a red one and Dean grabbed blue. Then we wandered over to the first hole.

~~~~~

“How’s work been going for you?” Dean asked when we were in his car on the way back to the restaurant. It turns out he wasn’t an amazing mini golfer himself, but he had still beaten me as I predicted.

“It’s been alright. Really busy,” I answered. Then I huffed out a small laugh as the mention of work brought to mind the people I work with. “My coworkers have been quite the nuisances lately.”

“How so?” He asked.

“Well you know my friends from the bar?”

“Yeah.”

“We all work together. So of course they noticed when we left together that night.”

Dean smirked a little, clearly catching on to where this story was going.

“I see,” he said knowingly.

“Yeah. Well, anyway, of course they made their assumptions. And then Jackie – she wasn’t there at the bar, but she’s another person from work – saw us at Ricky’s the next day. She’s a bit of a gossip and I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a date. So apparently this was big news that she immediately told to everyone else we work with.”

“Which didn’t help with the assumptions I’m guessing,” Dean continued.

“No,” I smiled. “No it did not. They ambushed me at work.”

This statement earned a laugh from Dean. I was just glad he could laugh about it. As I told the story, it occurred to me that it might freak him out a little. 

We were back at Applebee’s now and he pulled in next to my car. He turned his own car off, then hopped out and walked around to open my door for me. He shut the door behind me and then we both leaned against it, enjoying the night air while we finished our conversation.

“Anyway, I finally managed to convince them that we didn’t go home together. But then of course they turned into a bunch of twelve year old girls at a slumber party, trying to find out everything about you. And that’s pretty much been the state of things ever since.”

“Are they asking for your benefit, or out of their own interests?”

I scoffed.

“Why? You thinking of trading me in for an upgrade?” I asked.

“Definitely not,” he assured me with a smile. “Just trying to figure out what your friends are like. Speaking of people seeing us together, I had a very interesting gentleman bring his car into the shop the other day. He also saw us at Ricky’s I guess, and wanted to know what my intentions were.” He sounded like he was barely containing his laughter. “Any idea what that was about?”

I had a hunch I knew who it was, but I asked anyway.

“His name was Travis,” Dean informed me.

“That’s what I figured,” I sighed. “He volunteers at Freedom Reins. He’s been volunteering for about eight years now I think, and as one of the only men out there, he kind of sees himself as the protector of all of us women. As I’m sure you noticed, he’s a bit of a strange character. I suppose it probably doesn’t help that he has a bit of a crush on me,” I admitted with a rueful smile. “Or so I’m told anyway. He’s never said anything of the sort to me. Sorry if he made you uncomfortable.”

“Not at all. I thought it was pretty funny actually,” he told me.

“Small towns,” I sighed.

“Gotta love ‘em,” Dean concurred.

Tags: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

@123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28 @suckitands33

[trivalentlinks]

there has been a question raised of whether animals can be infected with cordyceps in The Last of Us, and unfortunately I have some thoughts:

so i think we are pretty safe from crows with cordyceps, because the premise in the show is that cordyceps traditionally could not survive at high temperatures, that's why previously only insects and cold blooded animals would get infected, but because of global warming, the fungi mutated to be able to infect humans

most birds (including crows), though, have even higher body temperature than humans (41C for crows vs 37C for humans (106F vs 98F)), so the world would have to warm significantly to encourage cordyceps mutations that would affect them. those lucky birds.

(many bats also have body temperatures close to 41C, which is why when humans get infected by bat viruses, it's often very difficult for our immune systems to cook the viruses, since they were evolved to survive in much higher temperature bodies than ours)

monkeys, though, have similar body temperature to humans and are thus probably screwed :-(

of course, all of this is tlou specific. in real life, the mechanisms for who's more likely to get zombified are quite different

there are certainly many species that can get infected by diseases that control their behavior, ants getting hijacked by cordyceps (like in TLOU), and also by brain-controlling worms, and make them climb stalks of grass so that they get seen by predators. also crickets can have behaviour controlled by hairworms (nematodes)

... but it's not just insects/cold blooded animals, either

rats can be infected by toxoplasmosis, a protozoa parasite that makes them approach cats (so they get eaten and the toxo can reproduce inside the cat). and then there's rabies that can infect larger mammals (including humans), and make them bitey and aggressive, though in some cases they can make them tame and friendly instead, which is why you're supposed to avoid friendly wild animals

so it's not body temperature that's protecting humans so we don't all turn into zombies, so I guess the question is, what is it?

((warning: I have tried to be as sensitive as I can here, but I am a neuro-typical writing about neuro-divergence; I've gone back and forth on whether to post this, but I do find this idea fascinating and thought others might, too. if you're a mutual or a follower, I hope you would do me the kindness of assuming good faith on my part.

that said, i'd be happy to take this down if asked to!))

one hypothesis i find very fascinating is this idea of Del Giudice that what's saving us (and other large, K-selected animals) is weird brain chemistry and neuro-diversity. (also explained in a more down-to-earth way here, which is where if first learned about it)

to illustrate this, let's compare shrimp (called 'gammarids' in the paper if you want to check) to rats in terms of susceptibility to mind-controlling parasites. shrimp are constantly getting their brains hijacked by parasites, whereas rats are susceptible to toxo but this is an anomaly

with shrimp, the parasite controls their brain by increasing serotonin. toxo controls rats by increasing their levels of dopamine.

so far so similar.

where it becomes different is the way that the parasites increase the chemical: shrimp parasites hijack their brains by directly injecting serotonin into them. toxo does NOT just inject dopamine into the host. instead, it takes a much more circuitous route:

toxoplasma cysts do not directly secrete dopamine into the host’s brain; instead, they release a key enzyme in the synthesis of do- pamine (tyrosine hydroxylase) to increase its production by infected neurons (…). In male rodents, toxoplasma also invades the testes, where it stimulates the production of testosterone. Elevated testosterone increases vasopressin expression in the medial amygdala, a neu- rochemical alteration that seems to play a key role in the onset of “feline attraction” (…).

and that's only part of it, because scientists still don't understand the whole picture of how toxo controls rats; the reason that toxo can't just inject dopamine is because it wouldn't work: it actually makes rats avoid cats more:

Injecting serotonin in gammarid crustaceans is sufficient to reproduce the full syndrome caused by helminth infection (…); but increasing the availability of dopamine in the brain of ro- dents fails to evoke the “feline attraction” in- duced by toxoplasma—if anything, it seems to prompt avoidance behaviors rather than approach (…)

(emphasis mine. also when quoting the paper, I have removed their citations to make the text easier to read. you can find the citations in the link.)

The point being, our brains are really freaking complicated and all the chemical mechanisms work differently from what might be expected, because if they were simpler we'd all get hijacked by parasites all the time.

According to this hypothesis, this has the effect of making many mental illnesses very hard to treat: like you would hope that if some feeling is associated with low dopamine, then giving people the enzymes that go into creating dopamine (as dopamine itself can't pass the blood-brain barrier), would simply make them feel better, but, as in rats, this doesn't work, and sometimes causes psychosis

but, of course, there are parasites, like toxo, that can hijack even the brains of animals with complex mechanisms, like rats, so why haven't they zombified all of us?

One possible answer is variations in brains within our species (aka neuro-diversity). Just like how everyone's immune system is different so that parasites can't evolve around them, our brain chemistries are different from each other, so that parasites can't evolve around their mechanisms

To be clear, I am NOT saying anyone's struggles or difficulties with brain chemistry weirdness is a good thing/worth it to save humanity from all being zombified by parasites; i know that for many people brain chemistry struggles can be brutally hard to work with and is sometimes even fatal, and i would absolutely not be so presumptuous as to say someone else's pain is worth it for our species--indeed isn't part of the message of TLOU that saving humanity from all getting zombified may not be worth a child's life? though if you like your particular brain chemistry weirdness, then of course it's a good thing, and i celebrate it with you!

this also manifests in our responses to drugs; serotonin is known to make people feel better, and one major class of anti-depressants are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which inhibit serotonin reuptake, so that your cells end up with more serotonin around them

but apparently, while they work for many people, they cause some people to be more depressed, and may even cause some people psychosis, which can be very frustrating and terrifying for these patients,

According Del Giudice's hypothesis, if it weren't this way, we'd all have been zombified by some serotonin-reuptake-inhibiting brain parasite millions of years ago;

this variance in human brain chemistry may be a byproduct of our million year war with zombie-ism

.

Anyway, it's just some guy's theory, and many scientists are critical of evolutionary psychology anyway, but I find this idea that neurodiversity is part of what's saving us from all getting zombified somewhat interesting

[5sosxqueen]

Luke Appendicitis

< Part 1 , ~Part 2~

I totally kept up with the updates last week... 😅 Welp, I'll be posting three today. (All Luke. Hope you guys like him!)

Warnings: surgery, hospitals, minor descriptions of the surgery

Written in 2018

Published (Wattpad) - Jan 28, 2018

Word Count: 1628

Updates are every Tuesday and Thursday

Also Available on Wattpad and AO3!!!

Part 2:

Michael's POV:

"SOMEBODY HELP US!" I was the worst kind of mess as I carried a, seemingly lifeless, Luke into the ER, Aston, Matt, and Calum not far behind me. "PLEASE, WE NEED MEDICAL ATTENION!" A couple nurses instantly ran over with a gurney and told me to lay him down.

"One of you needs to tell us what happened." One of the nurses told us while the other looked him over. Luke was beyond pale with a hint of green to his face, a sheer layer of sweat that glistened in the lighting, semi dried blood plastered onto his face and shirt, and his was hair disheveled.

"He's showing signs of appendicitis. I've had it... But I noticed he has redness and swelling on the left side of his abdomen, rather than the right. How is that possible? I thought the appendix is always on the right." Ashton informed them. The nurse checked Luke's stomach and sure enough, it was just as he had said.

"Ok we need to get him back right now! Page Dr. Moore." One of the nurses anounced to the other as rhey rushed him into the back. We were told to have a seat in a private waiting room and wait for his prognosis.

We had been really quiet for what seemed like forever. 10 minutes later I spoke up through silent tears. "Do you think he's going to be ok. I don't want anything to happen to him..."

"He will be fine Michael. Remember Ash has been through this as well and he's fine." Calum said wrapping me into a hug as I quietly sobbed into my hands.

"I'm so scared Calum... He looked so lifeless." I could no longer hold it in, I was bawling loudly by this point. He started rocking me back and forth slightly. I felt Ashton throw his arm around me and Matt's gental touch on my shoulder.

"It's ok to be scared Mikey, but he will be ok. Just breathe buddy." Matt cooed. We all stayed in that position until we heard a familiar name being called.

"Family for Hemmings. Are you guys here for Hemmings?" We all nodded. "Ok, are all of you his brothers?" Once again we all nodded. "Very well," he said with a smile. "Well we have confirmed your suspisions on it being appendicitis, but Luke also has something called Situs Inversus. Now, there are two subtypes of this disease. There is one called dextrocardia, which is where a persons organs are a complete mirror image of that of a you and I and there's another one called levocardia, which the heart is on the left, but the other organs are reversed, which is what Luke has. Depending on whether or not his appendix has burst, he could be in surgery for 30 minutes to a couple of hours. He will need to stay here for a few days to recover, however if it has ruptured he could be here anywhere from 1 week to a month, depending on whether his body develops an infection. We need one of you to sign these consent papers to perform the appendectomy." Matt reached for the papers and signed them before handing them back. The doctor nodded, rapidly retreating back into the double doors.

Another nurse came out and led us to another waiting room. We had been talking for a while and after 30 minutes had come and gone, we we're getting really worried. "It's been 45 minutes..." Calum stated looking at us with clear worry on his face. "You guys think it ruptured?"

"Unfortunately, I think it's highly likely, but it's also only been 15 minutes so we can't fully go based off of that speculation." Ashton reminded him. Another 15... "Shit." He said looking at his phone.

"So more than likely, his appendix did rupture." I added and everyone agreed. "I'm going to go see if there are any updates. I'll be back." I walked over to a reception desk nearby. "Excuse me, I'm not trying to be impatient, but it's been an hour since my friend has gone back for an appendectomy. Have you heard anything?"

"What is his name sir?" The attendant asked me.

"Oh sorry..." I smirked at my forgetfulness. "Luke Hemmings."

"Ohh... I thought I recognised you... I just didn't want to jump to conclusions." She said happily. "Oh, um, it says here that his appendix has ruptured. He's still in surgery Michael."

"Damnit... Ok thank you ma'am." I said with a sigh as I walked back to the eager boys.

"Any news?" Matt asked, beating the other two boys to the punch.

I sighed. "It's not good... His appendix did rupture. How long has it been now?"

"It's only been about 5 minutes... So an hour and 5 minutes since he's gone in." Calum explained. "Well would anyone like something to eat or drink? It's about to be 7:30am."

"Yes please, coffee and surprise me." I said. I don't normally drink coffee, but since I've been up since around 2am I need it desperately.

"You know what I like Calum, thanks." Ashton said, slowly falling asleep on Matt's shoulder.

"Just a coffee for me, thanks Calum. We will let you know if we bear anything." Matt responded.

Calum walked out of the waiting room and went down to the cafeteria while we sat in wait. Calum came back up after 20 minutes. "Matt, here is your coffee. Michael, I brought your coffee and a chicken salad for you."

"You trying to tell me something, huh, Cal-Pal?" I chuckled out giving him a huge grin.

"No, shut up Michael." He said playfully smaking my arm. "Ash, I brought you a parfait and a coffee. You look like you could use some as well." Ash nodded and we all thanked him once again. We ate our probable brunch within 10 minutes.

"It's almost been 2 hours guys. He should be out soon." No sooner than Ashton saying that, the man we assumed to be Dr. Moore reentered the room and appeared before us.

"Hello guys, I believe I hadn't properly introduced myself earlier. I'm Dr. Moore." He shook all of our hands. "So I'm not sure if you had heard, but Luke's appendix had ruptured. The laparoscopic appendectomy had taken much longer due to massive amounts of puss that we had to clean before we could suture the incision. He is in recovery now and you may see him, but you need to be wary of his stomach for a while. He is asleep for the moment and when he wakes up we will move him to a private room for observation. Now if you folks will follow me..." He turned around and started walking toward the double doors. He led us back to the post-surgery room and we all gathered around Luke cautiously and waited for him to open his eyes.

"Mmmmn..." Luke slowly opened his eyes and started looking around. "What- what happened?"

"Your appendix burst buddy." Ashton told him.

"So they cut me open..." He said making a disgusted face. "I feel so violated." Luke was still very loopy from the anesthesia. It made all of is chuckle.

"How do you feel though." Matt asked rubbing his hand through his hair.

"Very happy..." He said making the goofiest face. I covered my mouth turning around and busted up laughing, nearly falling to my knees from lack of oxygen. He turned to Calum. "What's funny Cally poo?" He was confused about my laughing, but his nickname for Calum only made me die. My damn sides hurt like hell.

"Boy, do I wish I had my camera..." Ashton said wiping a tear that was escaping his eye from cracking up. "This is gold... Oh my gosh... Huh. Glad to have you, somewhat, back Lukey."

"I think we should try asking him when he's a little more alert. What do you guys think?" Calum said through a teethy grin.

"Definitely." I said as I gained composure.

"I'm tired guys." Luke said as his eyelids started drooping.

"Go to sleep bud. We will be here when you wake up." He nodded and instantly fell asleep. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes again. I pressed my palms into them.

"Awe Mikey, what's wrong?" Calum walked over to me and threw an arm around me.

"He's going to be ok... I'm just so thankful he is alive. I was so worried." Everyone came over to me and enveloped me in a hug.

"We told you he'd be ok Michael." Ash said rubbing my hair.

Luke woke up an hour later and looked at all of us. "Hey bud, how are you feeling?" Matt asked again.

"I feel a bit sore, but my stomach no longer feels like it's being torn open... What happened?"

"Well that's ironic isn't it? You had your appendix taken out." Ashton said.

"Oh. So you were right then. Well I'm feeling a lot better now. How long do I have to be here?" Luke asked just as Dr. Moore walked in.

Luke ended up staying in the hospital for a week with no infection. He was almost back to his perfectly happy, healthy self, he was just a bit sore from the surgery. The stitches we're removed before leaving the hospital. He was really excited to get out and eat pizza and perform for his fans once again.

"Hello Luke, I'm Dr. Moore." He shook Luke's hand. "I can answer your question on how long you will be here. Since you had a rupture, you are going to be staying here for at least one week under observation. We will be checking your temperature periodically along with having you hooked up to telemetry. Hopefully you don't develop any infection." Luke nodded and soaked the information in. "Now that you are awake we can get you into your room so you can rest." We we're all able to walk with them as they transferred him to his room. Luke was already starting to fall asleep on the way there.

[gronjon44]

So a Personal Life/Update Post for those i do/don't talk to

I've been going through... a bit in my personal life. Alot of mental dilemma, personal issues, helping family through tough times. And for the past 2 years it's something only certain people know about and I've mostly kept away from Social Media.

Within the next week or so I'm going to be moving irl to a new state closer to family and within that change I've been debating on whether or not that should extend online as well.

I've had Tumblr for... God knows how long, as I've made some incredible friendships along the way and even if I don't always talk to you I genuinely love and cherish every moment I've gotten to know you all and I wouldn't change it for the world.

But with that being said... I think I need to leave Tumblr. No I won't be deleting my page I'll still leave it up and everything I've ever posted will still be here. But I'm going to be deleting the app from my phone and stepping away to find myself again from the online part of my life.

I don't know what my page is anymore, and to an extent that bothers me. I used to just float around fandoms, then I became a Godzilla Page and then a Transformers Page and so on and so forth. But even through all that there were alot of other changes, both on my main blog and other side blogs I've made/deleted.

This isn't the end of my Tumblr, who knows I may come back and start fresh again. But for now I think Tumblr and I need a break. And don't worry! I'll still be around. Just elsewhere.

As recommended by a friend I met on another platform, I'll be moving over to BlueSky. It's basically Twitter/X but without the involvement of Elon and honestly I think it might be good for me. If you want to stay in touch if we aren't added on Discord or otherwise, feel free to add me!

Like i said I don't know how long I'll be away from Tumblr. I may be gone only a few weeks, months, i may like BlueSky and this becomes permanent. But I know that right now I've been stuck in a very uncomfortable loop and my gut is telling me that Tumblr, while not a cause, is part of the issue.

I've had so many good moments, and so many bad. But I'm not gonna regret anything that happened to me ok maybe a little on this app.

I hope to see you all around. Until then, thank you

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Also before I forget no I won't be deleting Tumblt immediately, I'll fully remove it on Monday but after that i will not be posting on Tumblr from then on

[thorongil82]

Total Drama: Destination Stardom

Fandom: Total Drama series

Chapter: 1/?

Chapter Word Count: Roughly 20,000 (yeah, you read that right)

Can also be read on AO3 and FFN

Summary:

30 competitors. 3 teams. $5 million dollars on the line.

Who of our returning cast members will walk away with a sizeable fortune? Will it be from Gen 1? Gen 2? Gen 3? Or one of the few from The Ridonculous Race? Will friendships be tested? Will anyone fall in love? Will any lovers bite the dust? And will Chris McLean stop asking all these pretentious questions?

Find out the answers to all of these, plus more twists and surprises here, on Total Drama: Destination Stardom!

----------

A/N:

Hey, all! I'm back! If you're new, nice to have you here.

This is my first Total Drama fic, though not the first one I've planned. Although, once I'd gone on a bit of a deep dive back through the series and fanworks, this one came to my mind. A mix of old ideas (from coming up to 6 years ago) with a blend of new ones.

Couple of short things to address before we kick off. Firstly, I haven't seen the reboot yet, so there's going to be very little reference to it. I am aware that they do address some timeline and there's some weirdness around that, but that'll be mentioned right out of the gate.

Secondly, I don't have things particularly set in stone just yet. I have an idea of when people will get eliminated, but things can be moved around depending on how I'm feeling at the point of writing and how things end up linking together. Why is this important? Well, it means that things aren't set in stone until they're posted, so there could be every chance for a surprise. If nothing else, I do aim to make it all work logically and make sense, so don't think I'm just going to pull some nonsense out of nowhere. It also means that there's no set schedule for uploads. I'll try to get things out as quickly as I can, but I make no promises.

Finally, because it does link in, I am more than happy for you to make suggestions or predictions or anything like that, whether that be for challenges, eliminations, commercials (yep, I'm writing those), alliances, relationships, etc. If I do end up using your idea (and it wasn't one I was already cooking up) then I'll be sure to extend credit where it's due.

Now, without further ado, let's get on with it!

----------

Chapter 1 - Wish Upon These Falling Stars

The camera opens up on a choppy mountainous island vaguely similar in look to those that have previously hosted Total Drama competitions, but not matching – a legally distinct island.

“After two successful seasons featuring a brand new cast, we at Total Drama knew that all you rabid, loyal fans would be starving for any glimpse of our former contestants."

From out of shot, one Chris McLean jumps into view, his iconic look having been maintained with no signs of Slowtox in sight.

“So we, meaning I,” he innocently points to his own chest, before bringing his hands together as his eyebrows furrow heavily, “thought what better time to bring back some of our former competitors – along with some new surprises – to duke it out for a massive cash prize.”

An image of a closed briefcase before a revolving golden background is shown as Chris' voice continues, “They will be competing for not one, not two, but …”

The briefcase opens, showing a massive amount of green notes that spill forth from the metallic confines, with some landing outside the briefcase.

“Five! Million! Dollars!”

An angelic chorus sounds out at the reveal, before the shot snaps back to the case in Chris' hands as he stands on a wooden dock, a couple of interns dressed in plaid crimson shirts crawling at his feet to retrieve the fallen notes.

“Who will snap under the stress?” Chris asks, dropping the heavy case onto one of the interns with a solid thud as the host flexes. “Will friendships be shattered?”

Straightening back up, he reaches down off camera to retrieve the now closed briefcase, holding it up as the priceless prize that it is.

“And who is willing to risk it all for what could be their last shot at fame and fortune?”

The intern initially crushed by the heavy cash-filled briefcase shakily limps back up into shot before Chris drops the briefcase on top of them again, both disappearing off-screen as the host points to the camera.

“Well, you'd better stay tuned to find out here, on …”

The image jolts back to a view of Chris standing on the dock with arms wide open, one intern crushed under the briefcase while the other is slowly crawling to pick up the remaining fallen notes.

“Total!”

The image jolts back even further, showing a more zoomed out view of the dock and the island beyond.

“Drama!”

The final shot jumps out to the initial view of the entire island from afar as before.

“Destination Stardom!”

----------

Opening Sequence

Two production lights swing into shot in two quick cuts, before a third cut as a camera pops up from a hole in the ground. A fourth and final cut shows a second camera shooting out of a tree burrow with the edges of a bird's nest poking out, startling the two squirrels chittering on the branch and pushing out a three-eyed blue bird from its nest.

A clapboard snaps shut as the view changes to a wide shot of the main camp area; including the main lodge and the three cabins. One of the cabins looks just like the old musty rickety shacks of Wawanakwa past, the second is a rather beautifully crafted log cabin, while the third is far more luxurious akin to the reward cabin from All-Stars.

“Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine,”

The view quickly darts through the campground, catching Chris sitting on the top floor balcony reading a newspaper with a mug of coffee in his hand.

“You guys are on my mind.”

Zipping away from the facilities, a sky shot shoots up the sharp forested rise before panning round and plunging down the cliff, catching three rings set up in floats of green, yellow and red respectively in the lake below before diving beneath the water.

“You asked me what I wanted to be,”

In a rush of bubbles, the view shows Scott swimming off to the right before freezing up and letting out a silent scream as a rush of bubbles billows out. The dirt farmer quickly scampers to the top left of screen as the mutated shark Fang chases after him with a toothy grin.

“and now I think the answer is plain to see,”

Surfacing, Shawn and Jasmine are paddling a canoe out on the lake when Scott jostles their craft in his panicked swim. With Fang's arrival swiftly afterwards, Shawn jumps back while Jasmine stands up and smacks the mutant shark away with her oar. Both their sudden movements help further unbalance the canoe as it capsizes, taking the couple with it.

“I wanna be famous!”

As they tumble into the lake, B zooms by overhead wearing his own makeshift jetpack. As the silent genius rises up into the clear sky, some sort of projectile slams into him and makes him careen into the ground with a big rumble. He pushes up from his wreck and glares over at the smirking Scarlett, standing besides her own launching contraption looking a little like a small trebuchet tapping a wrench against her crossed arms.

“I wanna live close to the sun,”

The shot shifts away to Amy and Sammy riding in an inflatable raft down a river, being carried along by the water flow. The evil twin is facing away from the current yelling at Sammy through a megaphone as the nice twin looks quite resigned as she paddles them along as well. Neither cheerleader notices the waterfall coming up until too late as they tumble over the top.

“Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won.”

Underneath, Alejandro walks across a thick log spanning the length of the valley as he glances up, before reaching out and catching the falling twins. Amy squeals and snuggles up to the Latino, before kicking Sammy out of his other hand, the nice twin barely managing to cling to the log.

“Everything to prove, nothing in my way,”

From out of shot, Sierra comes swinging by on a vine, one hand up to her forehead as she searches round in the opposite direction she's swinging before suddenly slamming into the outhouse confessional, causing Cody to spill out. Cody dusts himself off before looking back in horror as the giggling Sierra staggers round the outhouse, before dashing off as the super-fan stalker chases after him with arms stretched out ready to grab him up, the two running past the main lodge.

“I'll get there one day.”

The camera slides in through the dining hall window, showing DJ at the stove looking extremely pleased as he takes a deep whiff of the soup he's brewed, only to flinch back as Chef barrels his brew off the hob with his own gurgling sickly broth, glancing back at Cameron, Jay and Mickey all sat in the dining hall. Cameron flinches while the Adversity Twins seize up, Mickey falling off his seat from his shuddering.

“'Cause, I wanna be famous!”

Next to the scrawny horrified boys, Eva and Jo are using the dining bench to arm wrestle one another, with Noah glancing up from his book monitoring the bout. Both competitive women quickly throw their other hands into the fray, still unable to win the match as they push with all their might. Both Jo and Eva grit their teeth and growl at one another, while Noah's eyes widen as he glances between the two.

“Na na na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na!”

Coming out of the dining area, Jacques is laying down on the sand sunbathing before Lightning runs into shot ahead of Sky. The two run over the Olympian before Sky vaults up onto Lightning's shoulders and flips forwards, gaining the lead while Lightning looks wide eyed. Jacques glares at the two.

A hand reaches over and drags the camera over to show Dakota as she gives the lens a kiss, smearing her lipstick as she does. The cameraman wipes the lens down as Dakota steps back, leaving her to pose again and again with Jen and Justin, Jen in the middle of the two.

“I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"

With each “I wanna be”, a vengeful Sugar dumps a bucket of rotten fish onto Dakota and Justin respectively. As the two models cower in anguish, Jen is spared from the third bucket as an umbrella pops up to shield her from the sickening mixture, with Brick having jumped in to protect her.

“I wanna be, I wanna be,”

The fashionista smiles and grabs the umbrella, holding it aloft and twirling before she leans up against the now blushing cadet, one arm rubbing the back of his neck as he gives a sheepish smile. Jen tosses the umbrella up into the air as the camera follows, catching it flipping round following the shape of the sun before the blue sky fades to night in time with the umbrella falling, a full moon taking the place of the sun in the sky.

“I wanna be famous!”

As day falls to night, the glowing embers of the campfire float up as the camera pans down to Duncan on the left of screen, Courtney and Gwen on the right, and Dawn placed between. All bar Dawn glares at the other side as the moonchild's turns between the three, placing her hand on Duncan's shoulder. Suddenly Chris jumps up between the four with arms raised and a massive toothy smile, while the other contestants sit round the fire whistling the end of the tune.

----------

The camera cuts back to Chris standing on the docks, with no sign of the interns or the cash prize in sight.

“Welcome back to Total Drama Destination Stardom! Set here, on the Starfall Archipelago,” Chris states, holding his arms wide open. “It contains the usual commodities of old; same disgusting cabins ...”

The interior of one of the cabins is shown, showing off the rickety wooden floor, the scratchy rough sheets atop the wobbly bunk beds, stains on the windows at the far end, and cobwebs spun in the corners of the room. As a mouse crawls across the floor, Chris continues to speak off off-screen.

“Same reeking outhouse confessional …”

The view cuts to the familiar confines of the outhouse confessional, with the mouldy seat top flipped open and flies hovering around the disgustingly visible green odour emanating from the loo. The view suddenly blurs as a purple haze is all that's caught by the opening door, before revealing a sasquatchanakwa crammed into the confessional moving to sit down on the toilet and opening up a newspaper.

“Same ruthless wildlife.”

The sasquatchanakwa is now shown walking across the campground, a rolled up newspaper tucked in under its arm and a takeaway cup of coffee in its hand. The camera pans with it, till Chris comes back into shot. The camera on Chris, while the sasquatchanakwa keeps walking away.

“Plus a few new surprises.”

A loud bellowing roar sounds out in the background, shaking the camera and seemingly the very island itself. Chris glances over his shoulder and laughs, before turning back to the camera.

“Got them shipped in special,” the host points his thumb over his shoulder with a chuckle, before clapping his hands together. “But, more on that later. I'm sure you all just want to see who will be competing for our grand prize.”

Chris walks back out onto the docks, moving up to the edge.

“Well, as the old saying goes, 'age before beauty'. So without further ado, let's introduce our first generation victi- I mean, campers.”

As Chris chuckles, a white boat sails by the docks, stopping ever so briefly as a couple of grunts are heard off shot, with the camera focusing in on Chris' celebrity mug.

“First up, giant animal lover and full-time momma's boy, it's DJ!”

DJ picks himself up and walks up to Chris. While he's still dressed in an outfit nearly identical to the one he's known on the show for, DJ himself has gotten a bit bigger. His muscular bulk fills out his shirt even more, while his skull-cap has gone in favour for showing off the tuft of hair curling round the top of his head.

“Hey, man, did we really need to be thrown off the boat?” he asks, rubbing his back.

“Did you really need to ask that?”

DJ slumps a little at that. “I guess not.”

Chris smiles and looks beyond DJ. “Next up, the perennial snarker and lousiest assistant in showbiz, it's Noah!”

The snarker in question comes into view, not only with his iconic outfit but also not really showing any signs that the years have physically changed him.

“Nice to see your material's as outdated as your films, McLean,” he quips as he walks on by, getting a glare from the host.

[Outhouse Confessional – Noah]

“Seriously? I only took that dumb job to try and get an entry into the business,” Noah grumbles, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “That maniac is easily the worst boss I've ever had to work for.”

The snarker sighs as he slumps back in the confessional, before giving a deadpan look to the camera.

“I'd rather take a deal with the devil.”

[Confessional Ends]

“Next, looking to strike gold after crashing and burning in just one season, it's Eva!”

Eva stomps across the dock completely straight faced and radiating her intensity, making the softhearted DJ shrink back while Noah just raises an eyebrow. Appearance-wise, other than her gained muscular bulk, Eva's ponytail has gone as the stunt woman now opts for a spiky pixie cut.

“Well, Eva, what do you think? Think you'll make it any further this time round without us bringing you back?”

DJ lets out a little whimper and shrinks back even further. Eva just gives a small grunt and walks by Chris without giving him an answer.

“Ooo-kay …” Chris stretches out awkwardly before recomposing himself. “Anyway, here's our next competitor! Our first season runner-up, and stealer of boyfriends, it's Gwen!”

Similarly to Eva, the goth stomps her way across the dock up to Chris. In the few years that have passed, Gwen has grown her multi-coloured hair out letting it brush past her shoulders with a slight wave. In addition, she now has on a couple of striped arm sleeves matching her colour scheme that cover most of her forearms, along with a dark moss green skirt that sits over her shorts, the back studded belt holding it up sitting at a slant.

“Is that really all you have, Chris?” she presses, getting a shrug back.

“Pretty much.”

“Fine. Whatever,” she huffs as she stomps off. “If it wasn't for this stupid contract, I wouldn't even be here.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Gwen]

“Seriously?!” Gwen growls as she kicks the side of the outhouse. “Four seasons on this life sucking show and that's still all I'm known for?! I'm not even dating Duncan anymore!”

She puts her head in her hands and draws out a long sigh, before finally looking back up.

“At least he managed to mention me being a runner-up …”

[Confessional Ends]

Chris watches her stomp off with a smirk. “And speaking of contracts …”

Gwen comes to a sudden stop as her eyes go wide. “Oh no!”

“A former CIT with a gaggle of bloodsucking lawyers at her beck and call, welcome back Courtney!”

Courtney steps up to Chris with her arms crossed as the boat she arrives in sails off. Her beautiful brown hair has grown longer, similar in length to Gwen's, though hers is completely straight. In addition, a rather expensive looking watch adorns her left wrist, along with a pearl-like ball earring poking through her locks.

“No loopholes in our contracts for you to try and weasel your way out of, McLean?”

“You know, you'd think a law school graduate would actually read what she's given before signing it, right?” Chris jabs back, getting a huff from Courntey.

“Hmph! Well, if there is anything wrong-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, lawsuit, lawyers, yada yada, we get the drill,” Chris cuts her off, pointing over towards the other arrivals. “Go stand with the others.”

Courtney's eyes narrow as she walks by Chris and gives the already arrived campers a once over – giving what actually seems like a genuine smile to DJ and getting one in return – before freezing up as she notices the goth.

“G-Gwen … h-hi …” stammers Courtney before trailing off.

“Courtney …” Gwen tries to start before she too falls silent, rubbing her arm.

[Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

Courntey lets out a loud groan as she rubs her temples. “Why? I just wanted one last shot to try and repair my standing. Why did Gwen have to be here?”

There's a slight pause as Courtney keeps massaging her temples, before throwing her arms up in the air.

“Oh, who am I kidding? Of course Gwen would be here. It's Chris.” A pause. “Why does this have to be so hard?”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional - Gwen]

“Oh god, this is awkward …” Gwen groans with her head in her hand. “At least it's not Duncan.”

[Confessional Ends]

Courtney takes her place amongst the currently gathered original cast, taking a spot as far away from Gwen as she can.

“Hmm … seems a little tense, eh? Well, why don't we fix that?” chuckles Chris as he rubs his hands together. “Quite possibly the most conniving competitor in Total Drama history, yet only the runner-up in World Tour, it's Alejandro!”

“What?!” exclaims all four campers.

The handsome Latino gracefully slides off the boat railing onto the dock below, giving a smirk and a raised eyebrow at the group. Not too much has physically changed about the devious Spaniard, although a rugged five o'clock shadow accompanies his well groomed soul patch. The top of his locks have been pulled back and tied into a man bun, while the base of his hair hangs free.

[Outhouse Confessional – Alejandro]

“Twice this hellish show has managed to disgrace the honour of myself and the vaunted Burromuerto name,” Alejandro states, one knee drawn up so his stylish boot rests on the wooden platform. “Three times if you include the shameful display put in by my brother José during his little cameo. This is a travesty – one that must be righted.”

[Confessional Ends]

“Hola, mi amigos. It has been far too long,” Alejandro waves as he walks up to them. “Especially for the hermosas flores.”

“The what?” asks DJ.

Alejandro winks at the three female competitors as he replies, “The beautiful flowers.”

Both Courtney and Gwen's eyes narrow as they look at him, though they do also carry the faint fluster of a blush on their cheeks. Eva, on the other hand, looks quite transfixed.

[Outhouse Confessional – Gwen]

“I know. I know! He's-”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

“-a snake! It means nothing!” Courtney closes her eyes and turns her head away with a look of indignation. However, after a pause, her eyes open back up. “But-”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Gwen]

“-why does it have to feel-”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

“-so intoxicating?” She giggles, before freezing up and smacking her cheek hard. “No!”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional]

“I mean, why would anyone ever want to kiss the lips that have been kissing Heather?” Gwen finishes with a smirk before pretending to gag.

[Confessional Ends]

“You know, I wasn't sure where I was going to find a greased eel for my new unadon recipe, but now …” Noah decides to speak up with his signature level of sass.

“Ah, Noah, I see getting a free meal ticket into society still couldn't improve your manners,” Alejandro shoots back, seemingly unfazed by Noah's obvious dig.

“Well, you know what they say. You can't teach a dead donkey new tricks.”

That one, however, got under the Latino's skin as his eyes narrow, shooting daggers at the snarker who simply smirks back before getting a nudge from DJ

“Meal ticket?”

“Don't worry about it,” Noah shrugs him off and looks the other way, only to see Eva still in a bit of a daze. “What's with you?”

[Outhouse Confessional – Eva]

“Soooooo dreamy …” Eva swoons with a dreamy expression, before jerking upright and – like Courtney – hitting herself to snap herself out of it. However, instead of a slap, it's a full on punch.

“No! The girls at the gym already rubbed my face in for letting Justin talk me out of all that money back in season one. No pretty boy is going to make me lose focus again.

[Confessional Ends]

Eva catches Noah's look at her before rapidly shaking her head to clear it as Alejandro takes his place amongst the arrivals.

“Well, seeing as how one handsome devil seemed to turn the heat up to eleven, let's see what bringing in a second will do,” Chris continues on. “The supermodel with hypnotic good looks and a twelve-pack to match, it's Justin!”

Justin rides in on the front deck of the boat as it speeds in, the sun shines from behind, birds fly overhead, and the model gets a glint that sparkles from his pearly white teeth as his signature music plays behind him. He has managed to maintain his undeniable good looks despite the many physical traumas he has undergone during previous seasons – particularly Action.

[Outhouse Confessional – Eva]

The confessional camera shows no-one inside. However, a loud cacophony of destruction sounds out off-screen and the outhouse shakes, all while Eva can be heard screaming and raging.

[Confessional ends]

Justin walks across the dock in front of a grinning Chris, before he gestures to another boat coming in.

“And rounding out our heart seekers, he placed third in World Tour and thinks himself a casanova ,” Chris emphasises this with air-quotes, before following with a mocking laugh, “let's welcome back Cody!”

The boat comes to a stop at the dock as Cody walks down the path, wearing a puzzled expression. He has undergone the greatest transformation of any cast member introduced so far, having undergone quite the growth spurt. He now stands around the same height as Alejandro – perhaps even being slightly taller – while his skinny frame has bulked out to a more lean build, filling out his clothes. His hair has also grown a bit thicker, while he maintains a small bit of scruff on his chin.

“Hey, what do you mean 'thinks'?”

Cody spares a glance at Chef who nonchalantly walks past towards the boat, before looking back as a few poorly contained snickers can be heard from various sources – a quick look showing them coming from Justin, Alejandro and Courtney.

“You're kidding, right?” the host asks.

Cody sighs and scuffs the dock a little with his foot as he walks up to the others, picking himself up a little on the way to put back on his 'charming bravado'.

“Hey guys,” he says, shooting finger-guns at the group. Eva rolls her eyes at his act, though he doesn't notice. Instead, his eyes widen a little and his smile gets bigger as he notices the goth already in the group. “Hi, Gwen.”

Gwen winces a little as she gives a little finger wave before rubbing her arm. “Cody, heeeey … What brings you back?”

“Honestly, I still feel like I need to make my mark. Even in finishing third, I don't feel like I deserved to be there. I want to prove myself, even if it's just to myself.”

There's a slight beat as several look surprised by his answer.

“Huh, that's actually pretty mature of you.” Gwen notes.

“Plus, I really needed to get away from Sierra,” he adds on. “I've gone through five different phone numbers and thirteen new email addresses. My family even moved to a different province. She still kept finding me. At this rate, I may need to change my name.”

Noah and DJ share a look.

“And in wanting to get away from Sierra …” DJ starts.

“You thought this would get you that freedom?” Noah finishes.

“Yeah, kinda. At least until this episode airs. Why?”

Cody barely finishes asking the question before a harsh squeal comes out of shot and Cody is tackled to the ground, somehow skidding across the dock as Sierra grips onto him tightly. Her appearance hasn't changed much, though where she had one long braid she now has two. Her hair is also a little frayed with strands coming out in various spots, while if you look carefully you could maybe see the slight markings suggesting a tattoo on her back covered up by her shirt.

“Ah! Ah! Codykins!” Sierra giggles madly, nuzzling her head up against his. “It's been so long and so lonely but now we can finally be together properly after all this time!”

“Oh, I don't know ...” deadpans Noah.

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” Cody flails around in her grip. “Why?!”

“Sure, Sierra, ruin my intro, why don't you?” Chris huffs as he watches on, before catching Chef walk back from the ship. “Weren't you supposed to keep her contained till the cue?”

[Outhouse Confessional – Chef]

“I've dealt with enough of the crazies thanks to Izzy to know that there ain't no way anything was gonna stop that creep,” Chef notes, tapping a finger up against his tree trunk arms. “Sierra'd already woken up early from the tranquilliser, broke outta her chains, and busted open three of the four safes she'd been locked in by the time I got to the hold.”

He pauses, looking off to the side before adding on, “I almost feel sorry for that kid.”

[Confessional Ends]

“Well, whatever, super-crazy superfan fandom fanatic, Sierra everybody.”

Sierra is still pinning down Cody underneath him completely unfazed by Chris' lacklustre introduction for her, while everyone else watches on uncomfortably.

DJ is the first to speak up as he asks the others, “Should we help him?”

“Do you want to get rabies?” Courtney whispers back.

DJ lets out a little whimper as Sierra finally stands up, holding a struggling Cody tight against her while everyone else scoots a little away from the 'couple'.

“Anywho, our final member from our original cast, give it up for …” Chris trails off as he notices that the boat he was expecting to have arrived already is nowhere to be seen. “Seriously? Is it too much to ask for my intros to go as they should?”

A ringtone calls out as the host pulls out a phone from his shorts with a click.

“Yeah? Hey. You know we're on a schedule, right? Fiiiine …”

Chris tosses his phone away in a strop before spinning back round to face the original cast.

“Well, looks like someone's being troublesome,” he explains, before glancing at a watch on his wrist, “and the timing for the next gen was set to their arrival … So, guess it's time for a commercial break! You've seen the first gen slackers we've had to pluck back from obscurity.”

“Hey,” Courtney shouts back to no reaction from Chris as he continues on.

“Has this season's winner already appeared? Who else will join this hopeless lot? Find out when we return after this break!”

----------

Commercial Break

“Are you tired of being ignored by the one you want?”

A female voice plays over footage of a pimply teen girl waving at a jock in a school hallway, only for the jock to completely ignore her. Her lip quivers as she sags up against the line of lockers.

“Do you want to be the one they all drool over?”

A new scene comes in of an adult standing at a bar, absentmindedly stirring her drink as she watches a handsome hunk chat up a younger woman wearing rather revealing clothing.

“Does your body sabotage you with its icky smell?”

A third scene plays as a panting woman in a heavy sweat stained tracksuit takes a smell of her armpits before gagging and passing out. A voluptuous woman clad in a form-hugging blue cocktail dress steps over the fallen lady and points to the camera.

“Then you need Desperado; The Fragrance of Last Resort!”

A close up of the fragrance bottle is shown, crafted to look like the drumstick of a roast chicken.

“Our company utilised the same cutting edge research shopping centres found to attract customers to their stores and bottled it ready for you.”

A scene plays of the teen spritzing herself with the fragrance as the jock walks by her again; though this time he does stop. Sniffing the air, he turns around and comes face-to-face with her with a wide smile.

“Let the irresistible smell of roast chicken do the work for you.”

The teen girl winks at the camera as the object of her affection leans in with hearts in his eyes and a small line of drool leaving his mouth. The image dissolves back to a close-up of the bottle.

“Desperado can be found in all good stores. Or you can go to our website and order from there.”

It zooms back to show the bottle being held by the voluptuous model, still standing over the fallen – and now twitching – third woman.

“Desperado! Just one spritz and he'll be finger licken' smitten!”

She sprays the lens in a cloud of fragrance, the cloud parting away as clips of Beth feeding the liquid fragrance to Owen in Total Drama Action is played with a big red X over the top.

“Warning; Desperado is not meant for consumption. We are not liable for any poisoning caused by ingestion. Please report to a hospital if you have any health problems.”

----------

“Welcome back to Total Drama: Destination Stardom!” Chris says, still on the docks with the nine already arrived campers. “We've already re-introduced the returning cast members from our first three seasons – minus one who's late. So, we're just going to move right on to the next generation of campers. And, because I need some cheering up …”

He pulls out a remote and looks out across the water at the incoming boats before pressing the button, making the vessels explode one after another, with a bunch of cries coming from the destroyed ships.

“Ah, much better,” Chris laughs as he wipes a tear from his eye. “Nothing like an explosion to lighten up my day. And, without further ado-”

“Sha-score! First to the island!”

“From second place in Revenge of the Island to second out in All Stars, it's Lightning!”

Lightning stands up dripping wet on the dock with arms raised. The uber-jock has bulked up even further in his time away from the competition, his definition showing clearly as his soaked training top clings to his body. There is also now a rather prominent lightning bolt tattoo on each of his biceps. His white hair still remains from being struck by his nickname-sake, though his sideburns have been grown out a little further with lightning zig-zags shaved into it. He pumps his fist against his chest a couple of times just as Jo pulls herself up out of the water.

“Followed up by the competitive triathlete who got out-schemed by a bubble-boy, it's Jo!”

Jo's appearance doesn't appear to have changed much, though it is difficult to tell underneath her drenched clothing, with her water-logged hoodie still retaining a lot of its bulk – even picking up more with the absorbed liquid. The most telltale difference to Jo is that her hair is shorter, though what she would naturally keep it as cannot be known as it has all been flattened down from her swim.

“Whatever,” Jo scoffs, slicking her hair back. “Enjoy it while it lasts, Brightning, 'cause I'm the one winning this thing.”

“Sha-na-uh! Lightning retorts as he flexes his muscles. “Lightning's in it to sha-win it! Ain't no way he's leaving the winner's circle!”

“Oh, I'm sorry, Lightning.”

Chris jumps as he suddenly realises Dawn is standing behind him. The other campers also jump after noticing her there as well, with the moonchild being completely completely dry unlike Jo and Lightning.

Dawn hasn't seemed to change much since her last and only season on the show, with the only noticeable differences being shown with her hair. A few strands from each side of her hairline have been braided together and looped round to the back of her head, with flowers threaded throughout, while the long mane of hair running down her back has been tied up with a sky blue ribbon. There's also a light green band running round the top of her head with another larger flower holding it in place.

“I could've arrived later if you'd preferred,” she adds.

“What? Lightning wasn't first? Lightning's always first!”

Lightning drops to his knees with his head in his hands, while next to him Jo slumps forwards, staring at Dawn incredulously.

“How?! Why are you not wet?! Again?!”

“Oh, there was a shortcut.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Jo]

“What shortcut?! Jo exclaims, raising her hands up before crossing her arms as they fall back down. “How does Pixie keep doing this?!”

[Confessional ends]

“So … uh …” Chris stumbles a little, visibly trying to recompose himself, “animal whisperer and seer of your deepest darkest secrets, welcome back Dawn!”

Dawn purses her lips at him with narrowed eyes, while everyone else gives her a weird look save for Cody and Sierra.

[Outhouse Confessional – Sierra]

Sierra squeals loudly as she stomps her feet.

“It's Dawn! Perhaps the biggest fan favourite in Total Drama history! Oh, except for my Cody-Woady, obviously.”

She pulls out her communications device and presses a few buttons on it, before showing the screen to the camera and revealing an image of Cody's face poorly edited over the body of a bodybuilder.

“All his blogs got so much more traffic after his performance in World Tour. The fans were going crazy! There were also a whole bunch of crazies who kept trying to get his attention.” Sierra growls at that, getting louder and angrier. “All over his socials. Sending unwanted emails. Trying to steal my man!”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Cody]

“Wooooow … she's preeeety …” Cody swoons, rocking back and forth before leaning back and cracking his knuckles. “Guess it's time for the Codemeister to get back into gear.”

He flashes a grin to the camera and clicks as he shoots his finger guns.

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Sierra]

The superfan gasps loudly as she sets her device down on her laps, leaving her hands free to clap frantically.

“Oh, I wonder if Dawn could help identify if anyone here is a threat to my Codykins? I need to find out just how her powers work – it's such a huge mystery!” Sierra picks her device back up and starts to type. “None of my extensive research techniques could gleam any answers.”

[Confessional Ends]

Jo rings out part of her hoodie as she walks up to the original cast, eyeing down the contestants she faced in All Stars.

“If this is all that Chris has brought back, there's no way that prize won't be mine,” she scoffs as a large stream of water is wrung from her hoodie. “Time to put you fallen stars back in your place – behind me.”

Gwen raises an eyebrow. “Uh, didn't you get kicked off before the rest of us All Stars?”

“That's only because dumb Old Heather interfered with my capable leadership. If she'd just followed my lead, everything would've been fine.”

“You lost,” Eva speaks up rather bluntly. “Get over it.”

Jo scowls and steps up to Eva – the stuntwoman doing the same – as the two size one another up. At least, until Chris leans in between them.

“Look, not that I don't mind the tension – actually, I love it – but can you all get back into position at the far side of the dock? We've got … something … coming in on the water.”

“Whatever,” they both snarl, jostling each other as they rejoin the other contestants, with Dawn and Lightning joining the group. Lightning ends up standing next to DJ, giving his fellow dark skinned a nod and fist bump, while Dawn stands off to the side on her own, glancing at some of the others. Cody tries to make his way over to her, only to be squeezed even tighter against Sierra.

Out on the water, three people are positioned on a floating jumble of debris pieced together into a rather solid and buoyant raft. Brick and B are on the sides of the makeshift raft rowing it in with warped scraps of metal, while Cameron stands at the back edge hacking up water.

Of the trio, Cameron is the one who appears to have changed the most physically. While he's still rather scrawny, he has at least put on a few inches. His hair has grown out a little, adding a bit more fuzz to the top of his head, while he has also grown a thin moustache that twists down to his slight beard covering his chin. Brick's hair has been buzzed even shorter, while he now displays a couple of medals proudly on his chest. B's only real difference appears to be the signs of a ponytail poking out from under his cap.

The three men glide up to the dock as it hits the wooden support beams, with Brick jumping up first and reaching out to help B up. “Excellent job crafting such a fine raft so quickly, B. I've trained on ships that were far less stable.”

B smiles and nods before both turn and offer a hand to Cameron, the bubble-boy easily being hoisted up by the two stronger men.

“I agree,” Cameron adds. “It never seemed like we were going to tip over once.”

[Outhouse Confessional – B]

B puffs some air onto his fist before wiping it down on his jacket, basking in the praise.

[Confessional Ends]

“Lookie lou, a three-for-one special,” Chris pipes up, getting back into shot. “First up, the soldier who still sleeps with a night-light …”

“Sergeant Brick MacArthur, reporting for duty!” the soldier jumps in with a salute, before his eyes widen as he realises what Chris said. “Hey!”

[Outhouse Confessional – Jo]

“Great. First Jockstrap and now G.I. Joke?” Jo groans, rolling her eyes. “What, Chris still needs me to prove I'm the most dominant competitor here? At least with Soldier Boy here, I can at least use him as an asset for a time, till I crush him like all the rest.”

[Confessional switches – Outhouse Confessional – Brick]

“It's great to be back! Especially since I was unable to compete in All Stars.” states Brick as he rubs the back of his neck. “It was a shame, but this time I'll be sure to represent my platoon honourably. Of course I'm searching to win, but I also aim to prove to Jo that I am a worthy competitor even if she wants to mock my code. And if I can outlast her, all the better.”

His fist comes down into his palm at that.

[Confessional Ends]

“Next up, a genius of few words – or, rather, none at all, Beverly !”

B glares at Chris not just for using his actual name, but also the heavy emphasis placed upon it.

“And third, graduating from being a bubble boy to a bubble-man with his win in season 4, only to have his reality burst by being medevaced out in All Stars, it's Cameron!”

Cameron gives a little wave to the contestants, only to shrink back a little as some of the more villainous competitors either glare at him, or eye him up like a lion eyeing a fresh carcass.

[Outhouse Confessional – Cameron]

“While my injuries have fully healed, my mom was still rather hesitant to let me come back out here,” Cameron gingerly admits. “Ultimately, I believe it was the optimal decision to compete once again. I would like to prove that my win was completely earned and deserved. Plus, I feel as though there's still so much more for me to learn – things that I may only learn being out here.”

[Confessional Ends]

The three new arrivals walk up to the gathered campers and start to interact – mainly to those from their same generation. B ends up walking towards Dawn, while Cameron and Brick move towards Jo and Lightning.

“It's so lovely to see you again, B!” Dawn greets as she puts a hand upon his arm. “Your aura is radiating your confidence. Have you been doing well?”

B nods and gives her a thumbs up.

“Jo, Lightning, how have you been?” Cameron asks politely, getting cold looks in return.

“Never you mind, little boy. Lightning's still owed his championship rematch with you.”

“Wha- rematch?” Cameron steps back, although Lightning fails to notice as he keeps going.

“And Lightning's gonna make sure to crush you when that happens. Sha-bam!”

Lightning punches his palm hard, causing a hard crack to sound out which – coupled with his declaration – brings Cameron to give a very audible gulp.

“Much as it pains me to say, what he said,” Jo adds on, jabbing a thumb in Lightning's direction. “You'd better stay out of my way, Toothpick. You won't stand a chance against me this time.”

“Hey, that's no way to talk to a potential teammate,” Brick interjects as he Brick marches up to Jo, standing between her and Cameron.

“Well, well, well, Sir Leaks-A-Lot. Ready to fall once more to my superior strength and leadership?”

“Negative, ma'am. This time I will make sure to lead my platoon to victory.”

“Yeah, right. The only team captain that'll be winning will be me. That is, unless Chris is dumb enough to include a pants-wetting competition.”

Cameron slowly backs away as the two rivals continue to bicker, before jumping at the slight touch on his shoulder.

“Gah!”

“Sorry, Cam!” Gwen apologises as she takes a step back. “Didn't mean to scare you.”

“Oh, Gwen. Don't worry about it. How have you been?”

“Eh, so-so. Art college has been a bit of a pain. Not that I don't love it, but still … What about you?”

“Oh, I've been wondering what to study for my next Masters. I've already covered Astrophysics, Biochemistry and Psychology, but I'm not sure what else to cover.”

“Wow, that's incredible! Hey, maybe you'd like to join me studying Art History. Could be nice to have someone who can help.”

Cameron taps his finger against his chin. “Hmm … It could be nice to study something a bit more unusual to my tastes. I'll think about it.”

Gwen chuckles a little at his seriousness. “You know it was a joke, right?”

“Well, even then, I'll still consider it.”

They laugh, until Cameron catches Courtney looking at them through the corner of her eye.

“Hello, Courtney. How have you been?” asks Cameron.

“Fine,” Courtney curtly replies as she looks away.

Cameron and Gwen's eyebrows raise a little as they glance at one another.

Seeing how all the others have started talking to one another, Noah takes it all in before looking over at Eva. “You ever get the feeling you're being ignored?”

Eva shrugs before pulling out her music player and putting in her earphones.

“Of course not.” deadpans Noah.

“Don't worry,” DJ says as he puts a hand on Noah's shoulder. “I'm sure it's just because we haven't competed against them. It's nothing personal.”

Noah raises an eyebrow, before looking the other way as Justin is seen to be too busy admiring himself in a handheld mirror. The snarker's eyebrow lowers at that as he drones, “Perfect.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Noah]

“Look, DJ may be right, and normally I wouldn't care about this at all. But, having only been on two seasons – and one not for very long – this is the sort of thing that could cost me allies, especially with that snake Alejandro around.”

Noah's eyes narrow as he brings up the Latino.

“If I'm going to show what I'm really capable of, and eliminate that greased eel while I'm at it, I'll need some help. And frankly, there's not that many candidates right now.

[Confessional Ends]

“Excuse me, Chris, but is this everyone competing?” queries Alejandro.

“Not at all,” he answers as Chef takes off to the skies wearing a jetpack and some protective gear. “In fact, there's still some-”

The host is cut off by the sloshing of water, with B's raft being smashed apart as it's scattered into the air. Bursting up from the wreckage is a large shape dripping with water – larger than any normal human. With tail protruding, a vibrant orange tinge to her skin, and a glowing green hue to her hair, the mutated form of Dakota bursts out from beneath the water and lands on the deck, growling loudly. Everyone else scrambles back with most screaming in shock, while Chris yelps and trips up over his own feet, collapsing to the deck.

“WHERE'S CHRIS?!” Dakotazoid roars.

The other competitors quickly point in his direction, with Chris glaring at them until Dakotazoid stomps towards him.

“Uh ahaha!” Chris freaks out as he crawls backwards. “The uh … th-the heiress of a vast h-hotel chain a-and inheritor of mutant powers … Da-da-dakota-a!”

Dakotazoid continues to stomp up to the host, before Dawn suddenly appears between the two with arms outstretched.

“Dakota! Please calm down!”

“BUT CHRIS!”

“I know. This heinous man must pay the price for his deviousness. And karma will strike her fury upon him for his crimes towards Mother Nature.”

“I fail to see how diversifying nature with a sprinkling of toxic waste is a bad thing,” Chris pipes up. “Look how well it turned out for Dakota.”

The mutant snarls at him, making him yelp and shrink back, forcing Dawn to continue her appeal.

“But it would not do for you to tarnish your hopes and dreams by attacking this villain. What if it leads to you being kicked off?”

“BUT. DAKOTA. SO. ANGRY! CHRIS BLOW UP SHIP!”

“Here, try sitting down with me,” the moonchild says as she sits down in a lotus position, with Dakota reluctantly following along.

Dawn: (smiles and closes her eyes) “Close your eyes,” she instructs with a smile as she closes her eyes, Dakota following along. “Now, think about what makes you happy.”

“SAM!” Dakotazoid says with a toothy smile. “DAKOTA MISS SAM.”

“I know, I know.” Dawn pats the mutated knee before continuing. “Now, breathe in.”

Both do. “And out.”

Both do. “And keep Sam in your mind.”

As Dawn continues leading Dakota in some calming breathing exercises, the mutated heiress slowly starts to transform back into her far more human figure. Save for the still vivid green hair, her appearance looks just like when she first appeared on Total Drama cameras. The moonchild opens her eyes and brings her hands together as she takes in Dakota's reversion.

“Better?”

Dakota nods, “Better.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Dakota]

“Chris better watch his step. Part of the reason he can be back at all is because of the settlement between the show and daddy because of my mutation,” Dakota explains as she pulls out a phone and holds it off to the side, posing with a peace sign as she snaps a selfie. “They improve their medical facilities and response, their liability clauses, and get my adorable self back on for more camera time – I still need my spin-off series, after all – and daddy won't sue the show and Chris for everything they're worth because of my mutation and treatment.”

As she goes down the list, she takes a few different poses – pausing each time as the shutter effect sounds each time. Following the pout, the duck lips and, lastly, running her free hand through her hair, she pockets her phone before finally giving the confessional cam her full attention.

“Still, that doesn't mean I'm going to let Chris get off that easily. I'll be sure to run that tired old momma's boy into the ground.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Dawn]

“I really don't think it's a good idea for Dakota to be back on the show,” Dawn says, sitting cross-legged as she holds out a finger for a butterfly to perch on. “While it can certainly be a good idea at times for victims to face the source of their trauma, I sense that Dakota's rage towards Chris is only going to regress any healing she may have already faced. Not to mention being away from Sam …”

The butterfly flutters back up off her finger as she lets out a sigh.

“Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Jo]

“While Daddy's Little Princess can really grind my gears, I honestly wouldn't mind wrestling with Dakotazoid,” Jo admits with the crack of her knuckles. “It's about time I got a nice challenge from someone, and it's not like anyone else here's going to give me that.”

[Confessional Ends]

Chris picks himself up as Dawn and Dakota walk back past him, with the host pausing briefly as Dakota glares at him. Getting to the rest of the combined casts, Dakota pulls out a handheld mirror and makeup brush as she quickly touches herself up, before blowing a kiss to the camera – a fair amount of the contestants giving her uneasy looks. Chris finishes brushing himself down before returning to his usual bravado.

“Alright, now that that situation has been sorted out, it's time to …” Chris pauses and looks over to the gathered cast, eyes flicking over each person. “Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen … huh, seems like we're missing one.”

As he finishes saying that, a loud scream comes from offscreen as a blue shoots out of the water past Chris. Stuck to Lightning clinging desperately to the uber-jock's muscled biceps is Scott, breathing rapidly as he jitters with shaken arms.

“Dude, get your arms off the Lightning!” Lightning fusses as he tries to pry Scott off his arm to little effect, as Scott continues to cling on with a vice-like grip.

“F-F-Fa-Fang!”

Most of the gathered contestants who'd competed in Revenge Against the Island and All Stars gasp and look into the water as the top of the mutated shark pokes up above the surface. He gives a wide toothy grin at the lot as he eyes up his favourite chew toy, before disappearing back down into the lake. Lightning, being one of the ones not phased by – or perhaps even noticing – Fang, starts to rapidly shake his arm up and down, finally managing to fling the dirt farmer from his arm as Fang submerges.

[Outhouse Confessional – Lightning]

“Man, Lightning don't judge, but he does not want dude's clinging to him outside of competing,” the gifted athlete protests with his hands on his knees. “Lightning gets it, he's irresistible.”

At this, he flexes his biceps, adding, “After all, look at this sexy beast,” and giving one bicep a kiss, before folding his arms. “But the Lightning does not swing that way. Now, the ladies? The ladies can join him whenever they please.”

[Confessional Ends]

“Ah, there you are,” the uncaring host beams, loving Scott's visible terror. “The final returning member from the second generation, the challenge throwing dirt farmer loved by all kinds of sharks, it's Scott!”

“Why the hell is Fang here?!” Scott demands as he picks himself up off the dock, getting a shrug from McLean. In the few years since he was last seen, the dirt farmer has grown out a short scraggly beard, mostly covering just his chin, while a tuft of chest hair is poking up from the cut of his tank top.

“Why not?”

Chris has a nice chuckle before stopping as he realises the farmer is growling quite angrily.

“What sort of show do you think we'd be running if we didn't bring that killing machine back?” he continues. “Especially with you back in the game?”

Scott scoffs and crosses his arms over his hairy chest, looking to collect himself. “Whatever.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Scott]

The ginger farmer leans back against the left outhouse wall, bouncing a rock against the right.

“It's not like it'll matter whether that F-F-Fang,” he seizes up at his own mention of the vicious mutant shark, “i-is around.” 

He looks side to side before relaxing a little.

“Papi didn't raise no wuss. I'm winning the money this time, and ain't no m-m-mutant sh-shark …” Scott seizes up again as he stammers through the words before bringing himself back under control, “o-or anyone else gonna be able to stop me.”

He gives a smile to the camera, though it is obvious that it is not reflected in his eyes.

[Confessional Ends]

Chris shoves Scott back, the ginger sliding back into the rest of the contestants. He comes to a stop as he bumps into B, with the silent genius glaring at him along with Dawn.

“Anywho, now that you're all here and I've had my fun,” the host starts as he peers down at his phone, “and a certain someone is still being a hassle … guess it's time to bring in our returning campers from Pahkitew Island!”

McLean turns to the sky and holds a megaphone to his mouth. “Chef!”

The current arrivals all look up at the sky to see a large military helicopter hovering above them, with what looks like a shipping crate attached underneath. From within the cockpit, Chef pressed down a big red button. With that, the bottom of the crate opens up, and several contestants shriek as they're dropped out of the sky.

“Introducing the Aussie Amazon with a giant fear of tiny places, Jasmine!”

Jasmine is shown plummeting with her arms flailing, a parachute pack strapped to her back. It doesn't appear like the survivalist has changed much during her time away, outside of a rather long scar running down her right cheek.

“Not this again!” she cries out, clenching her eyes shut as she pulls the cords for her parachute. The pack opens up and the white chute unfurls above her, the dark skinned Aussie looking up in relief.

“You bloody ripper!” she sighs in relief before glares at the ground. “Not funny, Chris!”

“I beg to differ,” the host retorts as the camera cuts back to him. “Especially seeing who's next.”

Back in the sky, Jasmine's glare disappears as a different scream comes from above her. Quickly panning up, Shawn is plummeting at quite the rate. The zombie fanatic's hair has grown even thicker and wilder over time, unkempt even while being contained under his beanie. Otherwise, he also shares a scar similar to Jasmine – though his is on his left cheek.

“Don't be a zombie, don't be a zombie, don't be a zombie …” Shawn winces, clutching onto this parachute cord before pulling it. The pack opens, letting a mix of acorns, almonds, cashews, hazelnuts and pecans come spilling out. “Ah, nuts.”

Shawn comes to an abrupt stop as he is now hanging upside down. Confused himself, he looks up to see Jasmine holding onto his leg, having caught him mid-fall.

“Jasmine! Thank goodness!”

“Her zombie obsessed boyfriend and winner of Pahkitew Island, Shawn!” Chris introduces from off-screen.

“Please don't let go!”

“Wouldn't dream of it!” his girlfriend says with a smile.

The two quickly right Shawn back head up as he now clings onto Jasmine's waist while the survivalist wraps an arm around him.

[Outhouse Confessional – Shawn]

“Of course this happens after I choose to forgo the wingsuit,” he complains. “Being able to glide up and over the zombie hoard makes getaways much safer – especially if you get cornered up high. But, with the reduced funds I had after splitting the million with Jasmine, it was either the wingsuit or the UV light panels to cover the ceiling, walls and floor of the path to the entrance of our bunker.”

He pulls out a notepad and pen before scribbling something down. “Well, guess that's now going to the top of the necessities.”

[Confessional Ends]

The couple continue their much slower descent down to the ground with a bit more peace of mind now. That is, only until both Amy and Sammy plummet past them, screaming all the way.

“Next, it's the drama inducing cheerleader, the better twin, it's Amy!”

“You better break my fall, Samey!” the evil twin shouts as she plummets, looking over at her ever so slightly younger twin.

Back on the ground, McLean's expression drops as he slumps a little, his enthusiasm vanishing. “Oh yeah, and the cheating lesser twin, Samey.”

Back in the sky, Sammy gives a worried glance to her sister before pulling on her cord. The pack on her back opens up. It stays open. And yet, nothing comes out.

“Nothing but air! How very not surprising!” jabs Amy with a nasty grin. “Useless as always!”

Sammy screams and reaches out, clinging to her twin as they continue to fall. That is, until Amy pulls on the cord to her own pack which brings forth a parachute. The quick change in velocity causes Sammy to slide down her sister, managing to keep herself clinging on to Amy's legs.

With the two no longer plummeting as fast, their hair and outfits no longer buffeting through the air – the camera can reveal the twin's changes far more easily. Amy's hair has grown a little longer, including a long portion of her bangs that have been swept over to partially cover the right side of her face – obscuring that eye and her beauty mark. Her red and white-trimmed cheerleader uniform also appears to hug her figure a little snugger than before, in turn showing off a touch more skin than before. Whether this is down to the outfit being a size or two smaller, or the mean twin having grown in more areas than just her hair remains difficult to tell.

Sammy has opted not to adopt the sweeping bangs that her sister has, instead keeping her hair back with a red hair ribbon – adding one more difference between the twins besides the beauty mark. Unlike the other contestants who have arrived, Sammy is the first to have any difference to her iconic outfit. While still in a matching red and white-trimmed cheerleader outfit to her sisters, the sleeves of the nice twin's uniform are long, covering her arms completely. She also has a pair of black stockings covering up the skin that would be on display between her skirt and knee high boots. With these changes, it is a little hard to see if she's physically developed in the same way that her sister potentially has, although at a glance any difference between the two is not obvious.

“Ha! See?! Clearly I'm the better twin!” Amy gloats as she looks up at her parachute, though with the slightest touch of relief threaded through her tone. “Like, obviously they'd want to save me over you!”

Samey can only whimper as she responds, “Yes, sis ...” with a downcast look, though that is overcome with panic as she's suddenly rocked back and forth by Amy swinging. “What are you-?!”

“Well, you're clearly not needed now that I'm safe.”

“N-No! Amy! Please!” Sammy screams.

Amy keeps swinging trying to fling her sister off her legs. Chris watches their fight – if it can be called that – with a satisfied grin.

“She can't really make her fall, right?: Courtney steps up to Chris, looking up with him. “She's got an emergency parachute?”

Chris gives her a strange look. “What kind of show do you think we're running?”

Courtney's mouth drops open as Brick dashes up to the two. “Shouldn't we do something? In case she does fall?”

“Not my problem,” the host replies with a shrug. “Contract's already signed.”

Many of the contestants gasp, their eyes wide with shock.

Dakota starts to stomp forward herself, the rough edge of a growl building at the back of her throat. “Chris, you better not-”

“I'll have you know, Dakota, that I'm not breaking any part of our agreement with your daddy,” Chris interrupts. “So zip it!”

Dakota's eyes seem to blank a little at that before she lets out a rather dangerous snarl.

“But you can't just do nothing!” the soldier pleads.

The host focuses on the three who stepped forwards with a rather unamused expression.

“Alright, fine. You want me to do something?” he asks, before putting his host-face back on. “I can introduce our next competitor!”

Brick looks stunned, along with a few of the campers in the background. Although the camera does catch B at the back of the group appearing to run off from the others, his quick departure seemingly unnoticed by anyone else. Instead they are looking at the soldier who sputters at a loss for words, only managing to find his tongue a few beats after.

“Wait, what?! No, that's not what-”

“She's an aspiring Olympic gymnast and the runner-up of Pahkitew Island,” Chris pushes on, completely ignoring Brick's protests, “give it up for Sky!”

Sky's cries are heard from up above, the camera quickly panning up to see her with her parachute already open and working, instead having to deal with being buffeted by the wind. Sky's hair has grown out more in the few years since Pahkitew Island, with the gymnast keeping it tied back in a ponytail. Otherwise, she appears to look the same, though her lower half may be slightly thicker than before – a subject discussed on various fan sites and blogs, including a couple of Sierra's.

“Woah! Wo-o-o-o-ah!” she cries out as she grips onto the straps of her pack rather tightly, continuing to be knocked around by gusts of wind. Her nervous look quickly morphs into horror as a tearing sound is heard, with Sky glancing up to see some holes forming in the fabric.

“Oh no! Nononononononono!”

The parachute continues to tear apart as her descent speeds back up much to her distress, having already been blown over land instead of water. Desperately looking around, she manages to correct her course ever so slightly before taking off her increasingly useless pack and falling towards a fir tree. Tucking her legs into herself, Sky manages to catch the tree trunk at just the right angle that she rolls off a rather strong and curved branch, launching herself towards another tree. Reaching a branch on the next tree, she comes out of her tuck and lands on the edge of another branch, using it to springboard up and over towards the beach. As she comes down onto the sand, she once again tucks her legs in to roll across the beachfront, only to then turn the rolling momentum into three forward flips hand over feet followed by a corkscrew flip that – thanks to her momentum – sends her up onto the dock, landing with perfect form. She looks around at her surroundings for a quick moment, before sagging into herself with great relief.

“Oh, thank goodness!”

Several contestants look surprised and impressed with Sky's recovery, in particular Jo's stunned look with her jaw hanging open, and Lightning's wide-eyed gaze with his mouth caught somewhere between slack-jawed shock and a broad smile. Of all the group, the only one who can muster up any words at all is Eva.

“How the hell?!”

[Outhouse Confessional – Lightning]

“Sha-wow! That girl's got skills!” Lightning complements, a rare display of genuine appreciation considering it's not for himself. “Of course, Lightning doesn't need a team – he is a team of one!”

In a return to form he kisses his flexed bicep once again.

“However, if Lightning must be part of a team, then he guesses that being with her wouldn't be too bad. Better than that sha-traitor Jo, anyway.”

[Confessional Ends]

As Sky starts to walk up to the large group, the continued bickering of the twins causes everyone to look back up.

“Like, you've been weighing me down all your life, Samey. Let go!” Amy barks, still swinging back and forth.

“No! Please!” her sister pleads, getting even more panicky as she does appear to be slipping down.

“I. Said. Let. GO!”

With one final swing forwards Amy delivers a kick to knock Sammy off, the younger twin shrieking as she falls while taking one of Amy's white boots with her. The cast members gasp and yell, except for the returning B who grabs ahold of Brick and DJ and brings them out into space on the dock. He hands each of them a corner of a rope net and takes the other two for himself, before quickly positioning the three of them while glancing up above. Sammy comes falling down but lands in the net, held with enough give that it doesn't bounce her back up like a trampoline. While the gathered campers mainly seem relieved, Sammy still screams a little as DJ and Brick lower their corners and help her to her feet.

“Calm down, soldier. You're safe!”

Sammy still lets out some anxious breaths as DJ holds onto her shoulders and Brick stands beside them, the nice twin eventually calming down.

“I-I'm alive?” Sammy breathes, patting her body with her hand – and Amy's boot held in a vice grip – in a need to check that it is true. When it finally sinks in, she lets out a shaky laugh and a disbelieving smile. “I'm alive! Thank you! Thank you!”

On each 'thank you' she gives first DJ and then Brick a tight hug – her sister's boot still held fast in her grip.

“No problem,” DJ returns her hug with a gentle one of his own, before letting Sammy dash to Brick who also gives a gentle hug to her.

“Of course, ma'am. Though you should also thank B.” Brick releases Sammy and turns to B with a salute. “Excellent thinking, soldier!”

B pauses rolling the net up to give a thumbs up with a soft smile, before his eyes go a little wide as Sammy comes up and hugs him too, the genius holding his arms wide of her along with the trailing net.

“Thank you!”

B gives a smile and a couple pats on her shoulder before they look up as Amy comes down. “Ugh! Fine! I guess you can stay.”

Amy touches down, putting most of her weight on her remaining boot while she ignores the glares sent her way. Sammy, meanwhile, quickly detaches herself from B.

“Even though you're so useless you couldn't even break my fall,” Amy tacks on with a slight shrug as she undoes the straps for her parachute pack Once it's off she glares down at her boot-less leg, before glancing back as Jasmine cuts in.

“Are you kidding me?!” Jasmine yells as she and Shawn land onto the docks, Shawn letting go of his girlfriend as the Aussie wastes no time removing her pack before storming up to the evil twin. “What the bloody hell was that?!”

“Um, what was what?”

“You could'a killed her!”

“Ohmygosh!” the mean twin huffs, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Like, what is your problem?”

Shawn now steps up to Jasmine as the Amazon towers over the mean twin. “What's my problem?! What's yours?!”

“Why do you even care? It's not like she's your parasitic twin.”

Jasmine growls as Shawn gets in the middle of the two, trying to hold Jasmine back. Meanwhile, Sammy shrinks into herself further, almost hugging Amy's loose boot. The rest of the cast watch on with rather wide eyes, save for Justin looking into his hand mirror and Chris who's watching on rather pleased.

“Easy, Jaz,” Shawn warns, making an effort to try and pull Jasmine away from Amy.

“No, she's my friend!” Jasmine replies to the mean twin, seemingly ignoring her boyfriend – who's efforts to pull her back also appear to be ineffective. “And clearly I care about her more than you do! You tried to kill your own sister!”

“Oh my god! I did not! I was just helping Samey get down so she could do her job as the lesser me and break my fall.” Amy spits out before pointing behind her at the remaining campers. “Besides, it's not like this bunch of bozos tried to help her anyway.”

“What?!” a bunch of them exclaim.

“Clearly they all thought Samey would be fine,” she continues. “Or didn't care if something happened to her.”

“How dare you?!” a visibly cross Courtney yells back.

[Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

In comparison to her fuming visage just before, the Courtney present in the confessional looks oddly nonchalant.

“I mean sure, I'm not too fussed what happens to Samey. If she got injured, then that's one less competitor standing in the way of my million dollars,” she explains. “Still, I'm not an idiot. At least by making a show that I do care, it puts her far, far below me on the list of who'll be sticking around. You know, in case I get the great misfortune of being put on her team.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Sierra]

“Death warrant, signed and sealed,” Sierra bluntly puts, pretending to squiggle a signature in the air. “No one alienates the majority of the competition and lasts long. That is, unless she's managed to inject herself with Heather's unusual knack for survival along with her attitude.”

She pauses with that, suddenly switching to a thoughtful expression as she taps a finger against her chin.

“Then again, Chris may just try to keep her around for the sake of drama ,” this she puts with added air quotes, “by having her swap teams during an elimination ceremony. TL;DR, by my calculations, she won't last long.”

[Confessional Ends]

Brick steps forwards as B gently pats Sammy's shoulder, shaking his head as she looks up at him trying to convey how he thinks what her sister said isn't true.

“Begging your pardon, miss, but my comrades and I did all jump in to protect Miss Samey,” Brick points out, though he misses the slight wince Sammy makes when he calls her the wrong name. He's instead busy gesturing over to B and DJ, both men standing by Sammy and glaring at the evil twin.

Amy gives them a look for a beat before sighing and rolling her eyes. “Whatever.”

With that, Chris walks back into shot with a clipboard in his hands. “Yeah, much as I'm enjoying this fantastic spat, this looks like it's turned into all chatter with no splatter.”

“Splatter?!” Brick repeats with wide eyes.

“Whoops, sorry,” the host says, sounding like he's trying to keep a laugh down. “I meant splashing. Anyway, mind joining your fellow campers?”

“Fine,” Amy whines, though she first heads towards her sister. “Just give me back my boot. I am not getting a splinter from this awful dock.”

She snatches her boot back and puts it back on before marching over and standing in front of the large group of campers with a huff. Having folded her arms over her chest again, she taps her fingers against her bicep for a few moments before shouting out to her sister.

“Well what are you waiting for, Samey? Get over here!”

Sammy just whimpers and nods as she walks over to her sister's side. Jasmine looks concerned and shares a look with Shawn, before sharing another with B, Brick and DJ. The five head back over together and join the gathered cast. The camera focuses on Sammy's very downcast look and poise and Amy's very smug expression as they stand in front of the others, seemingly ignoring the many glares sent Amy's way and the few sympathetic looks to Sammy.

“After all that, it looks as though we've only got one competitor missing. I was kinda hoping for more,” McLean admits as he pulls out a walkie-talkie and starts speaking into it. “Chef, we're missing one down here.”

A slight burst of static sparks out before it cuts to some indiscernible chatter.

“What do you mean 'a hanger on'? How did that happen?”

Some more indiscernible chatter comes through.

“Well, did you try the crowbar?”

Another burst of feedback, which then brings Chris to suddenly beam brightly.

“Excellent.” he puts away the walkie-talkie and turns his focus to the cast. “Looks like she's on her way down.”

Everyone looks to the skies as Sugar comes plummeting down, screaming loudly and clutching what looks like half of a cushioned seat, with a couple of bits of fluff coming loose and getting caught in the air. It doesn't appear as though she's had any obvious physical changes over the last few years, though it is a little tough to tell.

“Please welcome the pageant queen whose play style comes with lots of spice, and has never been accused of being anything nice, it's Sugar!”

“Save me, wizard!” Sugar hollers loudly, squeezing the cushioned seat a little tighter and pushing a little more stuffing out.

Hearing her cries, Noah looks around before asking Sky, “Was Leonard on the helicopter?”

“No, but she was convinced he was.”

“She thought he was invisible,” Jasmine adds on.

“Wizaaaaaard!” the pageant queen screams, her pitch causing many of the cast to wince and cover their ears with their hands.

“Pull your cord, Sugar!” Shawn eventually shouts up with his hands cupping his mouth, getting a weird look from his girlfriend for his actions.

[Outhouse Confessional – Shawn]

“Hey, I may not like her, but it's not like I want her to die. Besides, she could be carrying a dormant zombie virus that'll activate upon her death. You can never be too careful.”

[Confessional Ends]

“No way!” Sugar angrily yells back. “You're just trying to stop the wizard's magic from working!”

“N-No, no! It's … uh … It activates a magic cloak that'll amplify Leonard's spell!” Sky hesitantly joins in, though it seems to convince Sugar as her anger fades away.

“Oh, well in that case …”

Sugar flings the torn half-seat away from her and pulls the cord. However, with the force of her action she spins round so she's now falling back first as her parachute opens, causing the fabric to spill out and engulf the falling commercial model.

“It works! Leonard's wizard cloak-!”

Sugar is cut off as the falling ball of fabric and pageant queen bombs into the water, causing a large splash that brings a slight drizzle to shower the other competitors – other than Chris who's managed to pull an umbrella out from somewhere to keep himself dry.

“Finally! That was perfect! Chris cackles, wiping a tear from his eye. “Will anyone else make a splash on the scene? Who else is waiting in the wings to compete?”

“Aww, there's more?” Dakota moans.

“Seriously, just how many of us are there?” Scott adds.

“Ahem!” McLean loudly interjects with a glare at the two before returning to looking down the camera. “Find out these questions and more in the most stacked season of Total Drama right after this!”

----------

Commercial Break

“Ever wonder what it's like to have a rotten toddler ruining your life?”

A scene plays of a young toddler wailing loudly, banging his drinking cup against a coffee table while his parents grimace, their hands pressed up hard to cover their ears.

“Want to see what it's like to have a child before taking the plunge?”

A new scene plays of a young girl running around the house with a freshly broken vase left behind her, her father's face turning a bright red as a vein bulges on his forehead.

“Or do you just like to laugh at parents having a miserable time?”

A third scene plays of a mother completely drained of energy while two toddlers run around bouncing off the walls. One wears a pot like a helmet while clanging two pans together, while the other smears some brown … something … on the carpet.

“Well, no matter what your answer, come watch as Dr Jill gets these mental patients-to-be through their new teething problems on Tan-Trauma Center; airing new episodes on the Total Drama Network at 8pm Pacific on Terrible Twos-days!”

----------

The camera cuts back to a long shot of the docks with all the currently introduced competitors, Sugar having been fished out of the water and still dripping wet – her soaked hair a testament to this as it hangs heavy over her face.

“Welcome back to Total Drama: Destination Stardom!” Chris says. “Before the commercial break, I may or may not have alluded to the idea that there would be more people joining you here on the island.”

“But the show's never been this stacked before,” Sierra notes. “We've already broken the most cast members, unless you want to count each individual racer on-”

“Zip it, Sierra. I wasn't done,” the host cuts her off, leading her to cross her arms in a huff. “Although, that does segue quite nicely to our next group. A little while back the Total Drama machine was behind a different type of competition; a race around the world!”

“Different formula, better host,” Noah pipes up with his usual deadpan tone.

“Different host,” Chris stresses, “not better. Besides, I had other obligations to fill.”

“Maybe the wizard's curse got all up in Chris' insides and made his tummy gurgle something fierce?” Sugar theorises, gripping her own belly and giving it a shake. “Y'know, because of his screwy elimination?”

“I wouldn't be so smug, Sugar. It was the crummy ratings and reception Pahkitew pulled in that forced us to look in a different direction.”

“That's because they all knew should'a been the one to win that pageant,” snaps the pageant queen, whipping her hair back over her head and getting a few complaints from the campers standing behind her who are given a bit of a spray.

“Nah, you lot just weren't all that good,” Chris quickly shoots her down. “Why do you think there's less of you than the other gens?”

Those who competed on Pahkitew Island give him a glare, except for Sammy who's still miserable. Scott is shown smirking at their reactions.

“Yeah, don't be too glad, Scott. All-Stars sucked hard too.” McLean jabs again. “Dunno what happened, you all kinda lost your marbles.”

The All-Stars cast now join in on glaring at the host. Who just continues on with his speech.

“Anyway, in order to help get that different show up and off the ground for its first – and so far only season,” Chris looks quite pleased at that last bit, “a number of our Total Drama contestants were accepted onto the show to compete. In exchange, we could use the same number of racers on a proper Total Drama season. Five for five.

“Guess your mind is slipping in your old age, because there were only four of us on there,” Noah points out before counting them out on his fingers. “Myself, Owen, Geoff and Leonard.”

“Actually, my mind is perfectly fine in my youthful vigour,” McLean smugly retorts. “You see, while it was indeed you four that went along, a certain surfer chick and Aftermath host was also supposed to compete before she was cut at the last moment on special request for a charity run. But, because she was already contracted, the five still stands. And so … Chef!”

The military helicopter that had been flying above the island that dropped off the Pahkitew crew comes descending quickly, stirring up a bit of vapour from the surface of the water. At the press of another button within the cockpit, the shipping crate detaches from the base of the vehicle and plunges into the sea below. Several contestants gasp, though some for different reasons.

“Ah yes, because the mark of a better host is trying to kill your contestants outright …” Noah drones, keeps up his sarcastic backchat.

“Don't you know it!” Chris replies with a beaming grin, one that quickly withers under the scrutinising looks thrown back at him. “Relax, they aren't in there. Makes it easier to land and get rid of the crate at the same time.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Dawn]

“I'd hoped that Chris would've learned not to dump his waste unsafely after his encounter with toxic waste. Unfortunately, he is still committed to his wasteful ways.”

The moonchild brings her hands together in a praying position as she looks upwards. “Oh, I pray to the Earth Mother that her aquatic life can survive this desecration to their beautiful home.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Cameron]

“While it's certainly problematic, I've read about many scenarios where the creatures of the sea claim shipwrecks and sunken goods, transforming the ruins into new reefs for them to live amongst.”

Cameron's eyes lighten up at the thought.

“Perhaps this will be a chance to observe the changes myself!”

[Confessional Ends]

As the shipping crate sinks beneath the surface, Chef flies the helicopter over the dock before coming down onto the beach that Sky had previously flipped along, the rapid whirl of the rotors picking sand up and blowing some over to the contestants who enter a coughing fit along with Chris. The whirl of the blades power down before Chef walks out of the cockpit, standing over by the sliding door on the side of the vehicle while McLean walks over, letting out a last couple of coughs and brushing his outfit down of any clinging sand.

“First up,” he starts as he holds out a hand which Chef puts a file into. The host opens it up and quickly gives it a once over, his eyes lighting up with each line scanned. “She's a glamorous diva with style, fashion and athletic ability to boot, give it up for Jen!”

Chef rolls open the sliding door as the fashionista and one half of the Fashion Bloggers steps into view, getting into a few different poses as camera flashes light up the view. She practically looks the same as she did back on The Ridonculous Race, her gorgeous image having been meticulously maintained thanks to her dietitian and beautician. A group of paparazzi kneel before the docks on the sands taking picture after picture, while Dakota glares down at them.

“Um, hello?” the heiress whines. “You're supposed to be taking pictures of me!”

The paparazzi don't turn around, causing Dakota to pout with her hands on her hips. Turning her head away in a huff, she suddenly freezes up as she notices a good percentage of the single male contestants are transfixed on Jen's posing, watching with interest.

[Outhouse Confessional – Justin]

“Wooooow,” the male model swoons, “she's gorgeous.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Cody]

A rosy-faced Cody clears his throat a little as he tugs at his collar, his eyes darting from side to side.

“I-Is it getting hot in here all of a sudden?”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Justin]

“Couldn't you just imagine it? A diva like her and my beautiful model looks?”

He pulls out a handheld mirror and leans back, admiring his own handsome visage.

“We'd take the world by storm.”

[Confessional Ends]

Jen holds a couple more poses before finishing with a kiss to the cameras. Her posing finished, she gracefully exits the chopper – taking Chris' hand as he holds it out to her to help her down.

“Thank you, Chris. By the way, I love your hair. The windswept look totally suits you.”

“I know!” the host boasts looking extremely pleased.

“The rest of your ensemble works too …” the fashionista continues, placing a couple fingers on her chin as she looks Chris up and down scrutinising his appearance. “Although, it looks a little too ruffled, like you're trying too hard to make it look like you're not even trying.”

He takes a look down at himself at her observation. “Yeah, the chopper kinda did a number on it.”

“Hmm … maybe … guess I'll just have to see later.”

Jen leaves him behind, not noticing leaning over to Chef and cupping his mouth with his hand.

“Remind me to call my stylist once we wrap up here,” he whispers to Chef who nods and hums in confirmation.

Ignorant to this, Jen struts across the beach over to the rest of the contestants.

“Oh, hey guys, it's so great to meet you all!”

Dakota just sulks while the others give her relatively friendly looks at worst, save for a glare from Amy and Sammy looking down at her feet.

[Outhouse Confessional – Jen]

The fashionista starts off by waving to the camera, using both hands vigorously.

“Hey hey hey, to all my fashion blog followers! I was so surprised to get contacted by Total Drama asking me to come over. Of course, it would've been great for Tom to join me here, but don't worry! He'll be maintaining our blog and posting while I'm competing here. That's Now Trending with Tom and Jen for all you newbies out there looking for some fashion tips.”

[Confessional Ends]

“And with that ...” Chris flips over to the next page in the file before trying to hold back his snickers. “Ok, ok …”

Chef leans in and has a look, catching a snigger himself, before both men start howling with laughter.

The camera switches to focus on Noah watching with an eyebrow raised, before turning as he gets a nudge from DJ who leans in.

“Any idea who it could be?” DJ whispers.

“Not really,” he shakes his head with his answer. “I can't really think of anyone those two would be that amused to see except ...”

Noah trails off as something seems to be nagging at him, the snarker mentally going through The Ridonculous Race teams. It isn't long before his eyes widen, as if the answer suddenly clicked into his mind.

“Oh no!”

Chris and Chef wipe their tears from their eyes before Chris composes himself somewhat.

“Yeah, this is going to be good!” he beams before finally bringing himself back to his 'professional' self. “Next up, two contestants with the most problems anyone's ever heard of, with the determination to face everything the world throws at them, it's Jay and Mickey! The Adversity Twins!”

Stepping into sight this time are the two identical twin brothers, both looking rather similar to when they previously competed. Both brothers have gained a few inches in height and have had their mops of auburn hair get thicker. They had also gained a few pimples on their faces, with Jay also gaining a small blotch on his neck. Mickey also still wears his protective helmet, helping to tell the two apart.

“Um, hi …” Mickey tentatively waves, with his brother stepping in.

“It's nice to meet you-”

Jay starts to walk forwards only to trip up and fall out of the helicopter, collapsing down on the sand.

“Oww!” he cries out as he hits the beach before bringing out a sniffle. “Uh-oh ... ACHOOOO!”

Jay's sneeze kicks up a cloud of sand which partly obscures his brother.

“Jay!” Mickey calls out, jumping down in order to aid his brother. That is, until his eyes go wide as he stands in the sandy cloud.

“S-So i-itchy …”

“ACHOOOO!”

Jay's next sneeze kicks up another cloud of sand, leaving Mickey to start furiously scratching himself.

“ITCHY! AHHHHHHH!”

Mickey quickly starts running away, scratching himself as he goes, with Jay struggling to pick himself off the ground.

“M-Mi- ugh ... Mickey! ACHOOOO! W-Wa- ACHOO! Wait! Ugh ... Up!”

Jay starts running off after his brother, still continuing to sneeze as the two run off-shot. Chris and Chef start crying with laughter yet again – Chris even falling on his back, before the camera pans across the faces of the other contestants who are all either wide eyed or wincing.

[Outhouse Confessional – Noah]

Noah draws out a long sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose before looking up and looking down the camera.

“Those two are just a glutton for punishment, aren't they?”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Alejandro]

Alejandro just lazes back against the outhouse wall wearing a blank expression.

“Ok, that's just sad. Funny. But still sad.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Cameron]

“Wow. Seems a bit harsh to subject those two to this kind of competition if they have such varied disadvantages.”

Cameron pauses, his eyes widen as it seems like something clicks in his mind.

“Wait, was that what everyone thought when they first saw me on this show?”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Mickey & Jay]

The Adversity Twins are sat together, Mickey absentmindedly scratching his arm and Jay holding a tissue to his nose.

“Yeah, at first glance this doesn't look like we should be here,” Jay sniffles.

“But, that's what everyone thought about us competing on The Ridonculous Race as well,” Mickey adds on. “And look how we went then.”

“Yeah! So no matter what they can throw at us, no germs-”

Mickey freezes up at that. “Germs?”

“Bugs-” Jay continues on, not noticing his brother's reaction.

“Bugs?!” Mickey whimpers.

“-or monsters they throw our way, we'll face it head on.”

“Monsters?!” Mickey squeaks out.

“Huh?” Jay finally glances over at his brother, curled into himself with his eyes twitching and teeth chattering. “Mickey?”

“GET ME OUTTA HERE!”

Mickey runs screaming from the outhouse confessional, the view pushing out with a loud crash before panning back in with the door closing revealing Jay all on his own. The remaining twin looks blankly for a moment before his shoulders drop and he sags forwards.

“Yeah, this was a terrible idea.”

[Confessional Ends]

Chris picks himself up off the sand as he and Chef start to come down from their laughing fits.

“Boy, am I glad those two get to compete! Let's see who else we've been sent.”

He reopens the file and takes a look, quickly adopting an impressed expression.

“Well, well, well! Looks like we get a real competitor,” the file snaps shut as the host looks down the camera. “He's a professional athlete who's won gold everywhere he's gone, except for in the Olympics and in the unnamed race, it's Jacques!”

The ice skating Olympian steps out to a magnificent trumpet fanfare, blowing kisses to each side as he stands with a broad confident smile. Unsurprisingly, the champion figure skater hasn't changed much since his finale appearance, continuing to wear his pink and magenta leotard with the wool vest slung over the top. The only new addition is the pair of violet lensed sunglasses – once part of his and Josee's dark ensemble – that sit perched atop his golden pompadour.

[Outhouse Confessional – Sky]

“Oh, I remember them!” a giddy Sky says with a bounce. “They only got silver because she hit the ice right at the climax of the performance. It was a real shame, though I always thought she over-rotated and caused that mistake.”

She pauses as she furrows her brow, tilting her head ever so slightly.

“Mind you, my sister did say that they were both a nightmare to be around ... I guess not all Olympians have winning personalities.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Noah]

“And here I was thinking Alejandro was going to be my biggest nightmare,” Noah groans as he facepalms. “Silly me.”

He pulls his hand back and gives the camera a blank look.

“Well, it could be worse. It could be Josee.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Jacques]

Jacques stares at his surroundings in disgust, keeping his hands up to avoid touching anything.

“After that utterly disgraceful finish to The Ridonculous Race, Josee nearly destroyed half of New York! It was a miracle we managed to get her out of there without any injuries.”

A quick clip reel of the Ice Dancers being eliminated in third place during The Ridonculous Race is played, showing Josee leaping up on top of the fountain at the chill zone before she starts to tear it apart with her bare hands. After she hurls a stone wing away, the camera cuts back to Jacques in the confessional, his arms crossed over his chest and his hands now covered in a pair of sparkly shimmering gloves.

“Still, this is my chance for redemption. Nothing will stop me from taking the gold! Anything less and Josee will throw another tantrum.

[Confessional Ends]

Jacques walks across the sand and takes his place beside Jen – the twins still missing.

Chris: “Well, if this is the entertaining competitors we're getting, I can't wait to see who our final racer is!” McLean says with a bright smile. “Ok, last but certainly not least ...”

He flips the file to the last page as he finally takes a look, only to visibly deflate.

“... Seriously?”

Chef leans across and takes a glance at the file. “Guess Don wasn't too thrilled with you throwing Leonard onto him.”

“Never mention that name again …” Chris grumbles, tacking a loud sigh on to the end. “Fine then, last and certainly least, friends with a fake wizard and just as delusional, here's Tammy …”

Tammy appears at the door to the helicopter, throwing up a handful of rose-pink confetti up in the air, to basically zero reaction or fanfare. The dedicated LARPer remains clad in her Viking inspired gear, complete with horned helmet and studded leather gauntlets. There is the addition of some markings and symbols along her otherwise bare arms, plus some also adorning her outfit – although how authentic they are remains to be seen.

[Outhouse Confessional – Sugar]

“That Chris don't know what he's saying, Leonard ain't no fake,” Sugar pouts, before adding in a grumpy mutter. “Non-magic believer ruining reality.”

As it is, it doesn't take long for her to perk up as she reacts like a lightbulb has gone off in her head.

“Hopefully the new girl knows magic too. That way she can magic me to the final round of this here pageant and the tiara I rightfully deserve.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional - Tammy]

“With the aid of my magical friend, I made sure to enchant myself and my gear to offer the protection I need to face the hardships of this adventure,” Tammy explains as she gestures a symbol drawn on her gauntlet – a shield that upon closer inspection seems quite wonky – before pointing to a three-leaf clover and a shooting star drawn onto her arm. “See? A greater enchantment of shielding, a rune of luck, and a charm of heavenly wisdom.”

She gives a confident smirk to the camera as she pulls out her sky blue ocarina.

“Coupled with a few new spells and my legendary Temporal Ocarina,” she holds aloft her 'magical artefact', “the haul of the ancient dragon's lair will be mine!”

Another handful of confetti is thrown up before she starts playing the instrument, a few off notes getting in before the camera lens cracks.

[Confessional Ends]

Tammy walks up and stands next to Jacques and Jen as they join the contestants, with the Adversity Twins joining in from the other direction – Jay sniffling into a tissue and Mickey whimpering as he scratches his arm and neck.

“Can't lie, that last one was kind of a bummer,” Chris glumly complains. “Way to end the newbies intros … Could really do with something to lift my spirits-”

He is cut off by the ringtone of his phone, the host pausing to quickly – and desperately – answer.

“Yeah, McLean here.” A pause. “Finally! It's about time!” He hangs up and turns back around. “If you'll all turn your attention to the incoming boat.”

The cast turn to see one last boat sailing in, with a couple of interns stepping forwards to the end of the docks. As the ship pulls in and sets its anchor down, the interns climb aboard the lowered gangplank.

“This to do with the first challenge?” queries Jo.

“Not quite. See, since it's been so long since we've had many of you back, the producers and myself were a little concerned that some of the drama and angst between you all would have diminished. So, we made sure to pull out all the stops to bring in contestants that could light a fire under several of you.”

Many look at Chris with confusion and a little apprehension as the camera pans across, coming to a stop on B. He shares much the same expression as the others, though he looks away as he notices Dawn's rather rigid poise as she stares at the vessel. A tap on her shoulder breaks her concentration on the craft as she turns to the silent genius, who raises an eyebrow in way of a quiet question.

“There's a presence radiating off the ship, B,” Dawn answers his unspoken question. “I sense an oppressive shroud over that vessel. As if a malign blackness is at work ...” she trails off as she squints in her reading, … and yet also faint touches of a great ache.”

Upon hearing Dawn's reading, some of the contestants around her suddenly look a lot more worried, with Chris' expression becoming all that more satisfied. At the top of the gangplank, the two interns start to wheel down a figure strapped onto a hand truck.

“Introducing the psychopathic brainiac willing to let an island blow up with everyone on it, it's Scarlett!

The interns turn the hand truck to face the contestants, with the Pahkitew Island contestants looking particularly shocked. Scarlett is strung up like Hannibal Lecter – complete with straitjacket and muzzle – her untied red hair strung out wild and glowing red eyes shooting daggers at everyone.

“What the hell?!” shouts Sky.

“What is that c**t doing here?!” Jasmine shouts, the censors quickly beeping out the particular curse that causes Chris to cringe.

“Kinda pushing the censors with that one … This isn't Australia, Jasmine.”

“I don't care! She was going to fucking kill us!”

“Yeah, man. What made you think bringing her back would be a good idea?” pipes up Shawn, backing up his girlfriend.

“Frankly, your reactions already prove how fantastic a decision it was,” Chris points out.

Everyone focuses back onto Scarlett only to see her eyes practically screaming a manic smile as she gets wheeled off to the side away from the others.

“I-Is the muzzle really necessary?” Cody stammers.

“Considering her mental state during her previous outing, I'd say it is a necessary precaution,” answers Brick in a hushed tone, though not quiet enough to avoid Jasmine's ear.

“It doesn't go far enough ...” she grumbles.

“Really?” Cody looks uncertain.

Noah leans in and whispers, “Do you think that'd stop your crazy stalker?”

Cody looks over to Sierra who is one of the few who looks rather unfazed by the situation, instead looking down on the object of her affection with adoration.

“Ok, I see the point.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Brick]

“Yes, I watched the previous seasons to gather intel. Information is the greatest weapon a soldier can have. I can't say I was prepared for how far Scarlett was willing to go for the million. Still, should she find herself looking to strike like that again, I am willing to charge into the enemy fire for the sake of my comrades.”

Brick punctuates that with a proud salute.

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Jasmine]

Jasmine is still seething as she scowls towards the camera. Her hat is unusually off her head, instead gripping the brim tightly in both hands.

“If that devil tries to hurt anyone again, I will rip her bloody head off!” she snarls, inadvertently wringing her hat in the process. Her grip loosens as she notices what it is she's doing. “Shit ...”

The Aussie lays her now somewhat crumpled hat on her long legs and tries to smooth out the creases. After a few pats and rubs she puts it back on her head, though it does sit a tad off kilter. She readjusts it with a sigh, before resting her head in her palm.

“The producers have completely lost the plot …”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Scarlett]

Scarlett remains heavily restrained in front of the confessional cam, cackling maniacally. While the muzzle does a little to muffle the sound of her laughter. Rather than trying to say anything, she just continues to cackle for the entire time the confessional runs, right up till it cuts to static.

[Confessional Ends]

The sound of footsteps walking across the dock mixed with the jangling of chains brings everyone's attention from Scarlett back to the boat. Appearing at the top of the gangplank is a greying male police officer leading forwards someone in a jumpsuit whose head is covered up with a black rag, a female officer following closely behind.

“Last, but certainly not least, the destructive delinquent and the only player in TD history to make the merge four times!” the host introduces, raising four fingers up to the camera. “Welcome back, Duncan!”

The rag is pulled off his head to reveal it is indeed the delinquent, looking a little worse for wear from his time in prison. A few cuts and small bruises litter his face, while he is also sporting an extra piercing on his ear. A rough unshaven stubble clings to his jawline, while his hair has grown out. Rather than the short cut with the green mohawk he once had, he now has a mop of black hair with tinges of green still coating his tips and the occasional streak through his mane.

The collective expression from the majority campers – particularly the original cast and the All Stars additions – is one of shock, though none more so than Courtney and Gwen as they both scream, “WHAT?!”

[Outhouse Confessional – Gwen]

“Okay, maybe I could've had a chance to finally patch things up with Courtney and move on. But Duncan?!” Gwen groans and hugs her knees, resting her head against them. “This is going to be a nightmare … “

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

Courtney can't be seen in the confessional, but can certainly be heard screaming as a cacophony of destruction is heard, the very outhouse shaking from whatever destruction she is unleashing in her emotional turmoil.

[Confessional Ends]

“What is he doing here?!” Courtney screams as she shakily points towards the delinquent.

“Yeah, weren't you in jail?” the goth adds.

“He just got put on parole,” McLean explains. “Our treat, really. Once you two were drafted, I knew we had to bring Duncan back. So we pulled a few strings.”

Duncan just stands there with his pierced eyebrow raised as the officers unlock the cuffs on his wrists and ankles, before looping up the chains. No longer restrained, he gives his wrists a little rub and twist before folding his arms across his chest, stepping past his police escort.

“Not like I'm entirely thrilled to be here either, princess.”

“Don't call me that!” his exes glower at him simultaneously, only to then look at each other in surprise. “Huh?”

Chris can't help but laugh at their reactions. “Yeah, I knew this was going to be great!”

“Uh, Chris? Isn't it dangerous to have two criminals competing on the show?” Sky asks, having raised her hand yet querying anyway. Her question gets a flat look from Duncan, while Scarlett just fixes her gaze on the gymnast.

“Already way ahead of you. But, let's all head to the campgrounds first.”

They all start to head off. Duncan looks to follow at the back of the pack, though he stops as he gets a hand on his shoulder from the male officer.

“Keep your head, alright?” he checks with a low rumbling voice. “I don't want to see you back there.”

Duncan breathes out a sigh through his nose before giving him a nod. “Don't worry, Warden. I know.”

----------

The campers follow Chris into the camp area, with a pair of interns still needing to wheel Scarlett around. They come to a stop in the space between the dining hall and three massive white tarps covering up some rather large somethings – with one being far larger than the other two.

“As you're all well aware, except maybe the five newbies, the game is the same as normal,” the host begins his explanation. “Compete in teams to complete the challengers, the winners get rewards, the losers get to send someone home at the campfire ceremony. You also get the good old comforts of Chef Hatchet's expert cooking, along with the old faithful outhouse confessional.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Duncan]

The delinquent cringes and brings an arm over his mouth as he retches.

“What, did McLean get Owen to stew in here after a truckload of beans to get this rotten stink?” he complains, waving a hand in front of his nose. “This smells worse than being in right after him and, honestly, I'd prefer that. At least I'd get to see the big guy …”

[Confessional Ends]

“But, we also have a few new amenities to make things interesting. For one, there's a couple of new confessionals dotted around the islands.”

[Kitchen Confessional – Chris]

“Such as the one here in Chef's kitchen,” he adds on, the cut working seamlessly.

McLean is standing in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen bench-top that the camera has been placed upon. A couple of dirty pots are stacked up in the corner of the shot next to a half-filled sack – the contents of which are unknown. In the background the saloon-style doors can be seen, along with the servery window to the dining hall.

“Pros, it'll be hard for anyone to spy on you with Chef Hatchet maintaining watch over his domain. Cons, you have to contend with Chef Hatchet getting you out of his domain.”

He ducks as a large cleaver is thrown over his head, Chris looking to the side as a dull thud is heard off camera.

“See what I mean?”

Chef can be heard growling as some loud stomps sound out, with the host looking over with some fear.

“AHHH!”

Chris dives out of the way as a boiling pot is tossed at him right as the scene cuts to static.

[Confessional Ends]

“Secondly, we'll be taking a page out of World Tour and splitting you up into three teams,” McLan continues. “Not only will the losing team be sending someone home, but they'll also have to stay in the crummy old cabins from Total Drama past.”

The white tarp closest to the dining hall gets pulled off by a group of interns, revealing the old looking cabin – the doors to the two sides barely being held on the hinges.

“They will also be stuck with the communal bathrooms for any of their needs, unless they'd rather go outside.” he chuckles at that, with a few of the more self-concerned campers looking a bit grossed out. “Teams finishing second will get an upgraded accommodation – a new log cabin.”

A larger group of interns – thanks in part to the interns unveiling the original cabin joining in – pull off the tarp, revealing a well crafted and rather beautiful log cabin, sporting a solid balcony and a single door. The campers on screen all look impressed at the sight. The camera cuts inside to show a common room with two doors at the far end, a fire pit within a stone ring, a couple of tables, shelves and lounges around the fire pit and a black metal cone chimney suspended above. A voice-over of the host continues as the shot lingers.

“This log cabin comes complete with a well furnished common room leading to the two sleeping quarters which each have an ensuite.”

“The show finally decided to spend money on us?” Justin asks as the camera cuts back to the cast.

“Yeah, don't get too comfortable with that. You can thank Dakota's father for making these changes part of the deal.”

The camera focuses on the heiress as she looks down the feed with a wave. “Thanks, daddy!”

“That said, even I'm a little jealous about where the winning teams will be staying.”

They all turn to the largest surprise, where all the interns have gathered together along with Chef on his jeep. Chef drives forwards pulling along a few ropes tied to the tarp, as all the other interns pull off the tarp to show a rather luxurious cottage-style manor, three stories tall and even larger than the McLean Spa Hotel from All Stars.

“Meet the McLean Spa Deluxe Hotel! Complete with two butlers, a laundry, a ten-person hot tub and sauna, air-conditioning, a gym, 24-hour masseuses, fully kitted out kitchen and a games room, plus plenty of bedrooms. Still not quite as good as the cottage I'll be staying at, but hey. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Courtney]

“He better not be calling anything like where he stayed in All Stars a cottage!” the Type A shouts. “For the last time, it was a mansion!”

She does pause at the end of that, humming a little as she thinks.

“Maybe we could trick Duncan into blowing it up again? Get rid of two birds with one stone.”

[Confessional Switches – Outhouse Confessional – Sugar]

“Now that's the kinda place a beautiful queen like me should be stayin'!” she boasts, pointing both thumbs towards herself. “Whatever teammates I get better be good at their competin', or else I'll make sure they're gone faster than a greased pig on a mudslide.”

[Confessional Ends]

“And finally, without further ado, let's put you into your teams for the foreseeable future. If I call your name, come over and stand here by my left.”

He gestures to his left before starting to rattle off the list, the camera focusing on each individual when their name is called.

“B.” The genius gives little reaction to his name being called.

“Cody.” Cody looks a little nervous.

“Sky.” The wannabe Olympian wears a small smile.

“Amy.” She wears a haughty smirk as she runs a hand through her bangs.

“Samey.” The camera widens from Amy to then show Sammy, with the mean twin growling and stomping on her sister's foot.

“Alejandro.” The son of a diplomat gives a little wink to the camera.

“Brick.” Sergeant McArthur brings his hand up in a salute.

“Jen.” The fashionista blows a kiss.

“Sugar.” Sugar hollers and tries to blow a kiss to the camera too, though it speeds away from her before she can complete it.

“And Justin.” The male model gives a wink and a smile to the camera, his teeth bringing a bright sparkle.

They walk over together into a group, as Chris holds out a rolled up green piece of fabric.

“From here on, you are the Sacrosanct Snakes!” he reveals, throwing the fabric to Brick. It unfurls to reveal a flag containing their team logo – a coiled snake with a halo above its head radiating an aura”

“Sir, yes sir!” Brick salutes, the removed hand making the flag curl in slightly, before B steps in and holds it out straight again.

“The next group of you can come and stand by my right.”

“Shawn.” The apocalypse prepper fiddles with the hem of his beanie.

“Jay.” Jay gets a little jittery as he bites his fingernails, small cuttings of which fly away from his fingers.

“Mickey.” Jay suddenly looks relieved with the camera panning out to catch the same relief on both brothers' faces upon the announcement they'll be on the same team. The two of them share a hug before breaking apart, still keeping an arm around each other's shoulders.

“Gwen.” Gwen closes her eyes and crosses her fingers.

“Jo.” She crosses her arms and holds herself proudly.

“Lightning.” Jo's proud poise ends abruptly as she scowls at Lightning, the uber-jock glaring right back at her.

“Cameron.” Cameron looks a little nervous, that trepidation doubling as he realises Lightning has broken off of his stand-off with Jo to glare at the former bubble boy.

“Eva.” The stuntwoman rolls her eyes at the antics of her team members.

“Sierra.” Sierra looks down at her feet as the bottom of her lip quivers.

“And Scarlett.” Shawn jumps a little at Scarlett's mention, while the redhead's reaction is masked up.

Like the Snakes, they all come together in a group – Scarlett being wheeled over by interns. Sierra sends a forlorn look over towards Cody on the separate team. Chris has in his hands a rolled up gold fabric. Jay and Mikey glance around nervously at most of their teammates, specifically the jocks and Scarlett.

“From here on, you will be the Pugnacious Panthers!”

Lightning is thrown the golden flag, unfurled to reveal two panthers taking swipes at one another.

“The What Panthers?” Jo asks, looking a bit confused – though not as much as Lightning.

“Pugnacious. Meaning quick to argue or fight,” Cameron explains as he readjusts his glasses by the frame.

Shawn nods and narrows his eyes towards Scarlett. “Yeah, I can see that.” Scarlett just rolls her eyes.

“And for the rest of you; Jasmine.” The concerned Aussie looks towards her boyfriend.

“Dawn.” Like B, the moonchild barely gives any reaction.

“Tammy.” The LARPer looks over her ocarina, giving it a little shake.

“Noah.” The snarker looks fairly unimpressed.

“Courtney.” Courtney has her eyes clenched shut as she repeats a mantra to herself, trying to keep herself calm. It doesn't seem like it's working too well.

“DJ.” The gentle giant anxiously looks around him.

“Scott.” Scott frowns at the host and growls a little, though he ends up glancing in Courtney's direction and quickly looking away.

“Dakota.” Dakota gives a bright smile and a finger wave to the camera before blowing a kiss.

“Jacques.” The Olympian beams and looks down the camera, bouncing his eyebrow up enticingly.

“and Duncan.” the delinquent glowers at the host. “Bunch up now.”

They do as he says, with Courtney fixing Duncan with a look and trying to keep herself as far away from Duncan as she can. That is, until she realises she's next to Scott and moves around again. Chris has in his hands a furled up red flag.

“Your team will be the Recalcitrant Rabbits!”

DJ catches the flag and opens it up, showing off the logo as two rabbits butting heads.

“What's a re … re-recalcitrant anyway?” Dakota asks.

“Uncooperative, particularly towards discipline and authority,” Noah rattles off before looking at Chris. “Did someone buy a thesaurus or something?”

“We wanted something a bit more unusual to alliterate the animals. Plus, you can't say they don't fit, right?”

Noah looks over his own team, before giving the same observations to the other two, finally settling with a shrug. “Guess so.”

“Uh, Chris?” Courtney speaks up with her hand raised. “Is there any way that Duncan can be put on a different team? I'd rather not be on the same team as a convicted criminal!”

“Yeah, same here with Scarlett. No way do I want to be with someone who was going to kill me,” Shawn adds in, though the two named competitors don't react much to their protests – not even Duncan to the venomous stress Courtney spat his name out with.

“Why bring them back anyway?” queries Gwen. Chris opens his mouth to answer, although he gets cut off completely by Sierra.

“Drama and ratings, why else would Chris and the producers do anything?” she notes. “BTW, your reactions are just proving to them that they were correct to do so.”

“Right you are, Sierra,” McLean nods. “But, considering the considerable dangers these two could present with their destructive ways, the producers did draft up some extra special rules for them on top of the general rules for disqualification that everyone abides by. If they break any of them, they'll not only be immediately removed from the competition, but also sent straight back to whichever facility they were pulled out of.”

“And these special rules are?” Scott jumps in.

“For me to know and you to find out. Can't have anyone forcing them into breaking a rule.”

The dirt farmer snaps his fingers and grumbles to himself, “There goes that plan ...”

“Of course, maybe we could be persuaded to tell you all …” the host proposes, a lot of the campers perking up at this. “However, if we were to do that, then anyone who even remotely pressures either of them into breaking a rule – should they do so – would also be immediately eliminated. It would be quite a shame if that's how you lost out on winning five million dollars. So, anyone game?”

The ones who had perked up appear far more hesitant to take the deal now, everyone remaining silent with only a few like Courtney and Scott putting up an annoyed front.

“Suit yourself. Oh, speaking of rules, we may as well go over this now. Since we're under Canadian law, because you're all nineteen and over, you can all legally drink and consent. However, there's going to be very few opportunities for drinking out here – unless it's a challenge. So, go easy on it.”

There are a few disappointed looks from some of the cast at this, from Duncan, Jasmine and – surprisingly – Courtney in particular.

“Also, no sex outside the cabins or any applicable sleeping quarters.” the host continues. “We don't need to be cutting around that. In the quarters is fine-ish, just try not to make it a habit. We still have split quarters for a reason. Unless you don't mind having an audience there.”

Quite a lot of faces turn varying shades of red at this.

“Do we really need to go over this?” Eva questions, being one of the ones not as reactive to that in comparison.

“Legal wants me to make sure you all know. Lastly, while you are older, this brand does still attract a younger audience and still has a prime-time spot. So, while we can allow some curses and swears, try to keep it to a minimum. And that particular word you Aussies keep in your vernacular is off limits, Jasmine. You'll get away with a warning for earlier.”

[Outhouse Confessional – Jasmine]

“Honestly, it's not like I use it often. Hell, a lot of us Aussies don't. The amount of usage the 'c-word' gets depends on where you are.”

She does pause a little as she rubs the back of her neck. “Admittedly, where I'm from is a bit freer with its use than other parts, but I try not to use it. It just slipped out 'cause I was angry.”

[Confessional Ends]

“So, is everyone happy?”

A few hands still go up, notably from Courtney, Duncan and Amy, plus a couple others lost in the mass of bodies.

“Good,” Chris smiles, completely ignoring them. “Now get your things and get changed into whatever you're comfortable getting wet in. Your first challenge may look a tad familiar …”

DJ's eyes go wide as he seizes up. “No, please … Not that!”

The camera cuts to the cast standing in their respective swimwear on a beach before a lake, with a steep rise to a large cliff in the background.

“NOOOOOOOO!” the mama's boy screams, dropping to his knees and getting a delighted chuckle from McLean.

“It's good to be back,” he says before looking down the camera. “How will our campers fare with their first challenge? Will anyone go splat? Which team will fall flat? And who will be the first one to be voted off? All those answers and more next time on Total Drama: Destination Stardom!”

----------

A/N: Well, what do you think?

While it's not completely necessary right now, I will be putting in a running elimination order when they come through, plus I might also put down who voted for who. Don't think I'll go over the why in notes. If it's needed, it'll be addressed in story. Although, something that does need to be put down now, the teams:

Sacrosanct Snakes: B, Cody, Sky, Amy, Sammy, Alejandro, Brick, Jen, Sugar and Justin

Pugnacious Panthers: Shawn, Gwen, Jo, Lightning, Cameron, Jay, Mickey, Eva, Sierra and Scarlett

Recalcitrant Rabbits: Jasmine, Dawn, Noah, Courtney, DJ, Scott, Jacques, Tammy, Dakota and Duncan

Fun fact, I used a randomiser to get the teams. The idea was I would randomise it till I got close to what parameters I wanted, and then tweak it to get the rest. I ended up using the first random set I got. It was so close to being perfect. All that needed tweaking was getting Amy and Sammy on the same team (yes, I know), and that ended up splitting up Jasmine and Shawn, though both ended up on different teams to where they started. Duncan and Courtney also somehow managed to be on the same team every time I randomised the list. It was outrageous.

Another small fun fact, this was originally only going to have 24 contestants. At least until I realised I really wanted to have both Jay and Mickey in this. That then bumped it up to 27, but then looking over it I noticed I didn't really have many who stood out as early boots, so another three were added to be cannon fodder. Doesn't mean they won't have an arc, just that it may be a short one.

Anyway, like I said, feel free to let me know your thoughts, any suggestions or criticisms you may have. I'm more than happy to talk and respond to questions, though I will try to keep things spoiler-free. At the very least, I will try to ask you all one question each chapter, along with one very over-arching question per chapter. Both will be the same for this introduction; Who do you think will win? Who're you gonna root for? Who's it gonna be?

I don't currently have a schedule. I will try to get the next one out soon, though I could end up making a schedule where I go between this and one of my Pokémon fanfics (probably Forgotten But Not Gone). So please wait patiently. If nothing else, I don't think I'll manage to get chapters out quite as long as this one was; this is the longest chapter I've ever written after all.

Finally, if you're interested to see more, you can find me over on YouTube, FanFiction and AO3. FFN and AO3 are more for story upload while YouTube is me gaming, though I may go into fantasy writing/booking scenarios and possibly audio roleplays as well. Who knows? Either way, they're all under Thorongil82, so by all means check 'em out.

Anyway, that should be all for now. Until next time, folks!

[chibiseakraken]

I have seen this quite a few times and honestly gone back and forth on whether it is anything or not. I like the idea of the T hand signal as being a time out, Aziraphale mouthing a message to Crowley being a callback to 1941.

Here is my phonetics analysis. I'm sorry if it is super long winded. And, I hope it has not been too affected by other analyses I've read. I tried to approach it without bias, but that is impossible at this point.

[TL;DR phonetically there are a lot of clear "ee" mouth movements preceded by consonants, ending with a popped "p" in a very short phrase. It is very likely he says "We need help", or he is just fidgety and tense.]

Aziraphale is tense and that affects the way he holds his face and speaks. He is also fidgety. This is why I dismissed this at first. But, it really does look like he mouths something. In choir, if you want a specific tone you would think of a certain vowel and if he were singing he would be using "ee." This, I would guess, is because he is excited/tense. This clouds the view of some mouth movements and thus the ability to lip read.

That being said, I think I see his lips come together in a brief pucker for a "wh" sound, followed by a distinct "ee". Next looks like a bite down of the teeth, which could be a hard "N" followed by a longer "ee". If there is something after this, I do not see it. What I see next is a light bite down and release, which is likely a "T" (could be an "S" too but that usually requires more forward lip).

The next is difficult for me to read. This is the part that very biased. I believe I see a "heh" because his mouth stays open after the end of the last unknown vowel, but I see a burst of air and jaw movement. The lighting and his semi-clenched teeth make it hard to see his tongue. So, what happens next is difficult to make out. After that I see a clear ending, which very likely could be a hard "p". I see his lips come together and pop as only a "p" can.

I've seen others say it could be "We need time". I don't see how those mouth movements he made would work with that sentence.

Edit:

This hidden message also goes in line with what I read in the book Crow Road. I won't post spoilers here, but the ending would be similar if this were a hidden message. I am fairly sure I have seen others mention this under the crow road/good omens tags.

So, those are my thoughts. Thanks @kimberleyjean , for asking me!

Baby made their first .gif, yes yes, thank you i am proud of myself for braving technology!

What is everyone’s take on what he mouth’s here? To me, and have it be known I am incredibly bad at lip reading, it looks like:

“We need help.”

It also looks like he’s miming a ‘timeout’ signal.

please discuss and let me know your opinions lovebugs! and no, there is no dialogue that takes place during this gif if you’re unfamiliar. all these mouth movements are *silent* 👄

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I was rudely tagged by @tripleaxeldiaz for Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day to share my five favorite fics that I’ve written (even though she knows I hate talking about myself). Unfortunately I’ve been unable to sit down and do this until now, so sorry this is late!

I’m sticking just to 911 fics for this one since I am sure as hell not going through the *cringes* 200+ fanfics I’ve written over the years. So let’s get cracking.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) - Spy AU

So this fic was the first I had written in a long time that I was happy with after a long period of disliking everything I wrote. It was a fic that was more vibes than anything else, but I dearly love those vibes, and I think I managed to deliver a full and layered story in a relatively short amount of words which is difficult to pull off. Also spies are sexy.

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals - Fake!Married/Marriage of Convenience/Friends to Fiancés

Fun fact! I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this, but the title was inspired by the Richard Siken quote that you “construct elaborate rituals that allow you to touch the skin of other men.” The idea was that Buck and Eddie have constructed these elaborate unspoken/subtextual rituals that allow them to almost but not quite have what they want, and that there comes a time when, as a queer person, you must drop the rituals and speak/act directly in order to completely have what you really want (but in doing so you risk everything).

...which all sounds rather serious for a fic that is basically fluff the entire time whoopsies. Anyway, this fic was written while I was in the throes of dramatic frustration over certain choices in the season four finale, and the lovely @extasiswings coaxed me back off the edge of the cliff. I wrote this fic to take the idea I’d had of “what if Buck moved in with Eddie after the shooting” and spun it from there, and I’m actually really fond of it. This fic helped me to work through my frustrations and rediscover my patience. I was also going through a deeply bad time in my life, so it was nice to have something to escape to during the hiatus. I’m really, really proud of how it turned out, especially the idea of Buck and Eddie “falling gently” together - that they’re already dating, so taking that final step would be small and soft.

The Monsterfucker’s Symphony - a collection of oneshots where Buck, Eddie, or both is some sort of supernatural creature

Oh my God she picked the monsterfucker one who would’ve thought - LISTEN, THIS ISN’T ABOUT THE SMUT, OKAY? I actually really love this series because of the worldbuilding I put into each of the monsters. What does a succubus look like? What is the color of Buck’s angel wings? How does merfolk anatomy work? Exploring the physical and social stuff for each of the supernatural creatures I chose was a lot of fun, and I’m delighted with how each entry turned out - especially the last one featuring Angel!Buck. That one was the one closest to an actual plot and was inspired by quite a few things including the TV show Lucifer, the works of Lois Lowry, and all those trashy fun angel romances that stocked the YA shelves when I was thirteen.

Another reason this is one of my favorites is that I’ve had a lot of people tell me they don’t usually read monsterfucking - it’s just not their thing - but that they took a chance and read one or more of the entries in this collection, and that they really enjoyed the emotion and worldbuilding. That’s such a huge compliment to me. I’m always here to deliver you guys some fun smut but I put a lot of work into characterization and relationships, and to have that shine through enough that even people who don’t have that monsterfucking kink enjoy my writing?

(Shit fuck I’m tearing up please hold)

Anyway I’m really proud of this work and absolutely floored by the responses to it.

Let My Ink Stain Your Pages - Castle!AU

First off, this piece of shit was not supposed to exceed 50k so please note that for the record. Second of all, this was a blast to write. I had so much fun with this, especially since I was working on it after I’d needed a hell of a break thanks to another fic (we’ll get to that one) and needed something less serious. While wrangling all the aspects of the cases and translating them from the TV show to this fic could be a real strain on my patience, I had sooooooo much fun writing this. I needed something more fun and lighthearted after the heavy angst I had last written, and I’m proud of how I incorporated the Castle series’ plotlines with the 911 characters. I understand why television writers drag out slowburns, because writing this slowburn was delightful. I think I did a good job of not dragging it out too far, and balancing the comedy and banter with the heavier subject matter of, well, homicide.

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) - Reincarnation!AU, Soulmate!AU, Cowboy!AU, dash of Gilded Age and the kitchen sink

This fic was the product of a challenge. Because I love challenges. Especially challenges that nobody actually set and I end up doing them to myself. I asked @extasiswings what her five favorite kinds of AUs were, and she said among other things Reincarnation AUs and Historical (including Gilded Age). At another point she answered a question about liking soulmate fics but being picky about them. And my stupid ass decided to combine all three things into one fic. Because I hate myself.

This fic was one of the most difficult, if not the most difficult, that I’ve ever written. It was a massive labor of love and I’m really, really proud of how it turned out. I knew that I was taking on something really big with this - I needed to balance two timelines, make it historically accurate, come up with a system of reincarnation... I bit off a lot, and I knew it, and I wanted to really make it all work and fit in with canon as much as possible. There was also a lot of heavy emotion, one might even say (temporary) tragedy in this fic - definitely heavy angst for sure. Which made it a very heavy fic to write (I cried a couple times) and I worried I was getting too maudlin on occasion.

All that said... maybe this is tooting my own horn too much? But I think I pulled it off. I know that Leading with the Left is my most popular 911 fic, but to be honest, I think this is my best 911 fic.

[its-vannah]

Illicit Affairs - Bill Weasley x Reader

A/N: Hey, guys! It's been a few days (almost a week) since I posted. Here's a little something I've been working on. I'm quite proud of it. The perfect amount of angst and fluff. Hope you guys enjoy! Click here to check out my other Bill x Reader fic, All Too Well.

Song: Illicit Affairs - Taylor Swift

Part Two

Word Count: 3,155

Warnings: Cheating, crying, mention of "shagging" (just the word used), kissing, saying goodbye, fluff, angst.

"Look," He said softly, brushing the hair away from your face, tucking a strand behind your ear, "It's… complicated…"

You shook your head, "How is it complicated, Bill? I'm in love with you."

"Kid…"

"Don't call me kid!" You exclaimed, your whole body shaking as tears began spilling down your cheeks. Your fists were clenched by your sides as Bill wrapped his arms around you.

After debating whether or not to return the embrace, you felt yourself leaning into his chest as he stroked your hair. His button-up was stained with your tears, but you couldn't care less. Clinging onto him, you allowed the tears to fall, not caring who saw or heard them. And Bill held you, shushing you softly, before lifting you into his arms and carrying you to bed.

Holding you in one arm, Bill pulled back your quilt, setting you down onto the mattress, pulling the fabric back up over you.

By the time your head hit the pillow, you were fast asleep, your chest rising steadily as you sunk into the sheets. Bill climbed into bed beside you, opting to stay above the covers, his hand sliding up and down your side until he was sure you wouldn't wake up.

When you woke up a few hours later, you couldn't bring yourself to open your eyes. Because deep down, you knew he was gone. You could feel it. The emptiness of your bed without him. Your heart ached for him to be back with you, so you did the only thing you knew how to do: you shut down. Burying your head into your pillow, you allowed your sobs to take control over you. But you kept your eyes closed. You knew that if you opened them, you'd see what was right in front of you: an empty space.

Bill walked up the steps of The Burrow, waving his wand and muttering "alohamora" to open the door. Once inside, he slipped out of his cloak, placing it in the closet by the living room. Slipping off his shoes, he made his way up the creaky steps to his room. But he seemed to have forgotten one important detail: he wasn't alone.

Before he could even reach his room, Fred and George appeared before him, pretending to check an imaginary watch and shaking their heads.

"You're late, Billy." Fred said, placing his hands on his hips.

George snickered, "I didn't think Fleur would be the type to keep you out all night."

When Bill didn't respond, Fred let out a gasp, "Unless…"

"You weren't with Fleur." George finished, casting a glance to his twin before shoving his older brother in his room.

Once the three Weasley's were crammed inside Bill's bedroom, the twins ushered their brother to the bed, forcing him to sit.

"Mind telling us what's going on, Billy?" Fred asked, tapping his foot, "Fleur's a very beautiful girl, what is she- one thirty-forth Veela?"

"No, Freddie, a quarter Veela." George smirked, nudging his brother in the ribs.

Fred grinned, "Even better!"

Bill rolled his eyes, "Are you guys done yet?"

"Not until you tell us what's going on."

"Nothing's going on," The eldest Weasley hissed, "And if something were, it wouldn't concern either of you."

Fred raised his brows, "You see, Bill, it does. Because we know exactly what's been happening. You can thank our newest invention for that. An extendable ear. Quite handy, if I do say so myself."

Bill's eyes widened, "What exactly do you know?"

"Oh, no, we're keeping that to ourselves. No need for you to know."

"None of your concern," George quipped, earning a laugh from his brother.

"Tell me!" Bill screamed, his eyes filled with anger, "So help me Godric if you two don't tell me what you know-"

Fred held his hands up, "Woah, woah, Billy, no need to be so hostile."

"We're not telling you anything until you 'fess up. So go ahead and tell us about your little lady friend."

He sighed, laying back on his bed, "You won't give up, will you?"

"Nope," They answered, sitting on the edge of his bed, "Go on, Billy, tell us."

"It all started in my third year…"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 2

Bill watched as you waved your wand, sending a blast of fire towards a practice dummy, sending it flying back. A smile spread on his face as you turned towards him, excitedly grinning from ear to ear. Before either of you knew what you were doing, your arms were wrapped around one another, holding each other in a tight embrace.

"You were fantastic, Y/N!' Bill exclaimed, pulling away from the hug, "I reckon we'll be breaking through that cursed ice in no time."

"You really think so?" You asked, gazing up at him through your lashes, feeling the heat on your cheeks.

He nodded, taking your shoulders in his hands and craning his head to be at eye level with you, "You're going to do great things, kid."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Seems innocent enough." Fred said, crossing his arms, "But remind me how much older you are than her?"

"Two years," Bill answered, "We met when I was in my fourth year and she was in her second."

"So you were falling for a twelve year old?" George asked, sticking out his tongue in mock disgust.

He shook his head, "No, it wasn't like that. Not then, at least."

"So when was it like that?" George questioned, raising a brow.

"I'll tell you when I get there," Bill grumbled, "Now let me tell my story…"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 2

"Bill!" You exclaimed, rushing over to him to break him free from the ice. His freckled face was turning blue, ice beginning to crawl up his throat.

"Incendio!" You shouted, waving your wand. The ice surrounding him broke away, leaving a shivering Bill who rushed towards you, pressing an innocent kiss to the top of your head as you apologized.

He let out a breathy laugh, rubbing his arms up and down to warm himself, "I'm alright, kid."

"Are you sure?" You asked, voice quivering as you looked him up and down.

Nodding, Bill smiled, "I'm more worried about you, honestly."

"What about me?"

"It's not important, let's get this ice under control, yeah?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"You never told us you got trapped in ice!" Fred huffed, his forehead creased, "That would've been so much fun!"

"Believe me, it was not."

George smirked, "But you had someone to warm you up…"

"George! She was twelve!"

He held up his hands in mock defeat, "Continue…"

"In our third year, I told her about this girl I liked. Her name was Emily. I claimed to be in love with her, so I tasked Y/N with asking her if I had any chance with her."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 3

You clenched your fist, brows furrowed in anger as Emily mocked the Weasley family.

"The Weasley's may be good-looking, but that's about the only thing they're good for," Emily snorted, "They don't have money or manners, and there's too many of them to keep track of for my liking. Honestly-"

"Shut it!" You hissed, stomping your foot into the ground, "The Weasley's are the kindest, most welcoming Wizarding Family I've ever met, and I won't take you dragging their name through the ground! Bill Weasley is a better wizard than you'll ever be. He's kind, he's smart, and talented, and he certainly wouldn't disrespect another family! You don't deserve him, Emily!"

She raised her brows, "Maybe he doesn't deserve me."

"He doesn't deserve to be treated badly by you," Anger flared in your eyes as you spoke, "You're just jealous that he's too good for you."

Emily stuck her nose up, "So be it, I wasn't interested anyway."

The two of you walked separate ways, with her heading towards The Three Broomsticks to gossip and you stomping away with your arms crossed, determined to reveal Emily's true colors to Bill.

But unbeknownst to you, he had heard the whole exchange. Although he was devastated that Emily had broken his heart, he was disappointed that she had disrespected his family, but he couldn't help being proud of you for standing up for him. In that moment, his heart beat faster. You and him… Could it… but he shook the thoughts out of his head. No, it couldn't.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Remind me what her name was?" George said angrily, "I've got some Wildfire Wizbangs coming her way and-"

Bill shook his head, "Good luck getting to her. She'll have your names plastered all over the paper. Works for Rita Skeeter now."

Fred rolled his eyes, "I'd like her to have a piece of my mind… no one talks down on the Weasley's and gets away with it."

"Can I get on with it now?"

The twins nod and their brother continues, "In my sixth year, I had a new feeling… something I hadn't felt before…"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Year 4

As soon as Charlie sauntered into The Three Broomsticks, a model of a dragon clutched in his hands, Bill knew he had made a mistake. Your eyes lit up upon seeing the second-born Weasley brother, and you extended your hand.

Charlie looked down at you awkwardly, shaking your hand with three fingers, "Charlie Weasley."

"My younger brother." Bill interupted, tapping his foot aggressively on the floor.

"Y/N L/N." You smiled, returning your hand to your lap.

As Bill watched you and Charlie talk among yourselves, he was hit with a pang of jealousy. So he threw back butterbeer, hoping the sweet flavor would wash over him and throw his jealousy out the window. But it didn't. It got worse. And all he could do was sit there and watch it happen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"You're telling me that Y/N had the hots for Charlie?" Fred questioned, staring down at his brother.

Bill groaned, "She swears she didn't, that she doesn't, but in the moment, I got ahead of myself. I was beyond jealous and I couldn't bring myself to realize why."

"Oh, Billy, you're in deep." Fred laughed.

George let out a sigh, "Keep going, Billy, we don't have all night."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 5

You chewed at your bottom lip, standing before Bill with your hands clasped behind your back. Your eyes were stinging with tears at the thought of saying goodbye to one of your closest friends. You had known this day would come, but you hadn't been prepared for it.

"Bill, I-" But you were cut off when his arms wrapped around you, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. You placed your hands on his bag, tears spilling onto his robes as he rubbed circles into your back.

"Y/N, can I be honest?" He asked, his cheeks a shade of pink.

Nodding, he continued, "Out of all the friends I've made here at Hogwarts, I think I'm going to miss you the most."

"Bill, I'm going to miss you, too," You said through the tears.

He pressed a thumb to your cheek, wiping the droplets away before they could fall down your face.

"You'll visit, won't you?" You asked, "In Hogsmeade?"

"I'll be there," Bill smiled, "But only if you promise to visit the Burrow."

You nodded, a sad smile on your face, "I promise."

Bill looked behind him, watching as students moved towards the exit. Looking back at you, he pressed a kiss to your head, "I'll see you around, kid."

"See you…"

Your heart broke a bit that day, watching him walk away. But nothing could prepare you for what would happen years later.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 6

Walking into Defense Against the Dark Arts, you felt a flutter in your chest. For the first time in nearly a year, you'd be able to see Bill Weasley- and you couldn't be happier.

You walked in with a slight skip in your step, Charlie trailing behind you.

Upon pushing the door open, a certain ginger smiled at you, "Miss me, kid?"

Rushing towards him, you practically knocked him to the ground, "More than you know."

It wasn't until Charlie cleared his throat as other students began piling in that the two of you broke away from your embrace, looking nervously in opposite directions.

"Now that the reunion's out of the way, we can move on to the big question: What are you doing here?"

As Bill began explaining, you couldn't help but notice the empty space on his robe. He didn't have his prefect badge anymore. Not that he would, having graduated, but it made your heart sink even further in your chest. Things were changing, too fast.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Not twelve anymore, is she?"

"Shut it, George." Bill huffed, rolling his eyes.

George shook his head, "Really, Bill, two years isn't that bad."

"It's bad when she's in her sixth year and I've already graduated."

"Depends on how you look at it." Fred noted, "So when did you see her next?"

"With dad, actually."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Year 7

"Y/N? Is that you?"

Turning around, you saw a familiar ginger standing behind you, his hair swaying by his shoulders. Within seconds of seeing your face, he was stumbling towards you like a child in Honeydukes, gripping his father's hand and leading him towards you.

After seeing a knowing look on his father's face, Bill let go and cleared his throat, "Y/N, this is my father, Arthur Weasley."

"Bill," You laughed, "We've met."

Turning to Arthur, you smiled, "It's good to see you again, Mr. Weasley."

"Good to see you, too, Miss Y/N."

"So what are you doing here?" Bill asked, searching your eyes for an answer.

You sighed, shaking your head, "It's a long story that I'll explain later. Now, I've got to convince them to allow me in without credentials."

"We can vouch for you, if you'd like." Bill offered, a dreamy smile on his face.

"You'd really do that?"

He nodded, "Anything for you."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Almost forgot she came over on holiday." Fred said, crossing his legs, "She was stunning then, I want to know how she looks now."

Bill grumbled, "She's too old for you, Fred."

"And according to you, too young for you." George quipped, turning to face his brother, "So, tell me, Billy, how exactly did you end up where you are now? You've got the job, you've got a girl, but you keep going back to her. Why?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It had been four years since you had seen Bill Weasley. And now, seeing him walk into the conference room, cuts littering his arms, you couldn't help but take it all in. He had a fang hanging from one year, his ginger hair was combed back, and he was dressed far nicer than you had remembered.

Once his eyes met yours, he made his way towards you, slipping into a seat beside you as one of the Head Auror rambled on about protecting Gringotts.

The two of you stole small glances at one another during the meeting, which seemed to last for ages. When it was all said and done, your chairs were mere inches away from each other, your hand slipped in his. It was innocent. At least, that's what you kept telling yourself.

It wasn't until you started getting frequent owls from Bill that you started wondering if the two of you had something more.

Your first kiss had happened fast. Bill was going on about Gringotts and how little budgeting they had, on the brink of hyperventilation, when you had pressed a kiss to his lips. You hadn't expected him to lean into it, but you had been wrong. Before either of you knew what was happening, you were pushed up against your desk as he deepened the kiss, your hands running through his hair as he held your face in his hands.

When he had pulled away, he muttered a small goodbye and left without another word.

Not even a month later, he was galivanting around Diagon Alley with Fleur Delacour on his arm.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"That was your own bloody fault, you twat!" George exclaimed, whacking his brother in the stomach.

"Oof!" Bill groaned, propping himself up, "It was a mistake, alright? A big one."

Fred was silent for a moment, a rarity for him, "Which part?"

"What?" Bill asked softly, a frown on his face.

"Kissing her or leaving her?"

He shook his head, "Leaving."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When you saw Bill a few months later, you could hardly be in the same room as him, let alone look at him. He kept waiting for you to meet his gaze, so he could ask you to speak with him privately, but you never did.

It was until the meeting was over that he barred you from leaving, begging for you to hear him out.

You told him he had a minute to state his case and then you were leaving.

So he used that minute as best he could, "I'm in love with you, Y/N. I always have been. Granted, it took me a while to figure it out, and an even longer time to admit it, but I can't not be with you. We make sense, kid. So few things make sense."

He allowed you to process the words. And next thing you knew, you were kissing him all over again. You knew it was wrong- he was with Fleur. But in that moment you didn't care. He loved you like you loved him. And that was all that mattered.

So when a few months later, he hadn't called things off with her, you were starting to get nervous. You hated the secrecy and betrayal of it all. You felt bad for Fleur, you ached for his company, and you felt sick thinking about the two of them together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So are you going to call it off?" George asked with a sigh.

"I dunno," Bill admitted, "I love Y/N more than anything. But I'm scared I'll screw it up again."

Fred rolled his eyes, "You already have. You're shagging the both of them!"

"Fred," Bill warned, "Not now."

"All I'm saying is that you have more history with Y/N. Mum likes her more, anyway. You're her golden child, she'd want you to marry her."

"We're not getting into marriage right now, Fred."

He nodded, "Exactly, not now. But Fleur's a beautiful woman, too, and she'll be waiting for a proposal. You can't keep seeing the both of them. No wonder Y/N's a mess. She's having to share you. And poor Fleur doesn't even know! Look, I'm a bit of an arse-"

"A bit?" Bill interupted, receiving a glare from his brother.

"But I wouldn't do that to a girl. Any girl. Make it right, Bill."

The twins left shortly after, leaving their words behind. Bill layon his bed, staring up at his ceiling and then at his nightstand. A picture of you was haphazardly framed on the top, a bright smile on your face as you drank butterbeer.

He had to make a decision, and he had to make one fast.