#I've felt exceptionally terrible

[fairuzfan]

i seriously don't even have the words to describe what it's felt like as a native person learning about "holocaust exceptionalism" or whatever for the first time during all of this

the first time i saw a tweet talking about how it wasn't appropriate to compare any other genocide (and specifically this person was talking about the native american genocide(s), along with several others i've seen since & most of the "historians" who go this route, too) to the holocaust because unlike in those cases, where there was a clear logical reason for the wholesale slaughter of millions of people, the holocaust was senseless! it was just killing innocent people for no reason, which is completely different from when they got rid of all those dumb indians standing in the way of Progress & wasting the precious resources the colonizers needed much more... i thought they were just some random dickhead saying intentionally terrible shit online for engagement

but then i just kept seeing people saying similar things, and eventually while reading up on palestinian history, i find out that this has apparently been a zionist (and in many cases non-zionist, which maybe feels even worse) talking point for decades now?

(and increasingly, over the last few weeks, i've seen it shift to this more broad claim that comparing any genocide to any other genocide is harmful, actually... which is such a dumb argument to try to pass off as genuine when, among other things, there's literally an entire field called "genocide studies" that it's honestly almost funny)

i can't think of anything in recent memory that's felt like such a brutal slap in the face as finding out the belief that the systematic murder of my people was a completely logical, understandable course of action--arguably a net positive, even, in the long run--is now and long has been this commonly held. i've felt sick since ever since. how do you say shit like that and not understand that you're implicitly rationalizing and, to some extent, justifying it? how do you not hear yourself?

forgive me, i know it must feel very eye-roll-worthy to have someone come yelling to you right now about how badly their people are treated by zionists, but every time i see someone parroting off an argument along these lines, i swear i can just feel my faith in humanity slip a little more lol

yeah, fuck off with this bullshit for sure

oh don't apologize, i totally understand why you would want to talk about this. thank you for sending this, and I'm so sorry that youre going through this. it really is an inconsiderate talking point at the very least.... i wish the best for you and yours in these times.

[raayllum]

Why is Clauderry together / why is Terry with Claudia?

This is a question I've seen posed more than a few times in the fandom, of people feeling confused with why Claudia is with Terry (despite her dislike of elves) and more so why Terry is with Claudia despite her being a walking collection of red flags. This has, admittedly, always questions I felt the show answered quite well and obviously, but if it's still being probed, then... why not?

Let's talk about it.

Why is Claudia with Terry?

The only prior examples we have with Claudia having any kind of romantic connection is with Callum, which never came to fruition; I've also gone on record saying myself that the show made it clear Callum's feelings for Claudia were a lot stronger than whatever, if any, she held for him. However, in her interactions with Callum even just as a friend, we can see what she appreciates in her free time. For starters, we see that Claudia enjoys being a goofball:

We see that a shared sense of humour is something that Claudia cares about, as one of the only compliments she gives to Callum is "You always make me laugh" and "That was very confident Callum" as he was able to go with the flow while asserting himself.

Words of affirmation is also something she clearly enjoys. Appreciation, acknowledgement, and gratitude are very important to her.

(Side note: This is also part of why she spirals into "I did all THIS FOR YOU" on the beach in a "You owe me your life" kind of way, because she was prepared and sacrificed and saved you, and doesn't that deserve acknowledgement? Doesn't that mean getting what she wants? What she's owed? But I digress.)

We also see early fracturing in Callum not trusting her (1x03, 2x03), a subsequent breakdown in honest communication on both sides, and that Claudia reads Callum as being judgemental of her dark magic use, which is also something that frustrates her about Soren:

(Part of this is because Claudia has gone from seeing dark magic as just an amazing beautiful tool to a terrible but necessary one, so necessary that it overrules any other reservations... because she's attached to seeing herself as a Good Person—"But I'm not evil, it's me"—but again, I digress.)

Conversely, Terry has all of those things in spades. He admires and relies upon her dark magic use, he's someone she can be reciprocally goofy with, he's extremely attentive and loyal (and loyalty/devotion is something that is also extremely important to her), and perhaps most importantly, he's helpful and non-judgemental.

Terry also explains that one of the things Claudia likes about him is his smarts / creative thinking ("Goofy and glorious, just like you" / "You saved the day Ter-Bear") and his thoughtfulness:

Claudia says I think too much about everything, and that makes me weird, and wonderful, so...

This makes sense as Claudia values being prepared in her own day-to-day life curtesy of being a dark mage, and that Soren's tendency to being impatient when they were growing up together (lying about Harrow without consulting her, picking the fight with the dragon, etc) was something that got on her nerves.

As for the Elf 'elephant' in the room... Claudia also doesn't have an issue trusting Aaravos for one simple reason: he's helping her save her dad.

Even while she's warning Soren against trusting or forming friendships with other elves and dragons because they might "take advantage" of him and be fake friends, she can't see that's precisely what Aaravos is doing to her. In a similar vein, Terry also believes in her (as he says directly in 4x09) and is helping her save her father, so why would she have a problem with him even if he's an elf?

That doesn't mean there aren't problems in Claudia's worldview, or that exceptionalizing people is a Good thing to do, particularly to your partner, but it's a clearly defined and realistic cognitive dissonance. Claudia has moved past seeing all elves as Bad™ to "these ones are good" because they're helping her, and not getting in her way, and that's all she really personally cares about.

However, I think most people can understand why Claudia's with Terry, given how sweet and routinely supportive she is. The bigger thornier question then is the opposite. So let's talk about that too.

Why is Terry with Claudia?

One of the most common things people say when it comes to Terry and Claudia is that they wish we could see how they met (and presumably whether that initial attraction was there from the start or how it developed). This usually leans into an underpinning idea (and I could be wrong) that seeing their beginning would help indicate why Terry fell for her (and thereby why he stays). And I would definitely be interested in how they met, and am open to seeing it, whether in a show, graphic novel, or novelization mention.

That said, I think the show has also answered these accordingly. In a lot of ways, there's really only two reasons why Terry is with Claudia as she is in arc 2:

1) He doesn't have an Issue with dark magic.

He admires Claudia's use of it ("And your daughter's amazing, she brought you back from the dead, wow!"), is open and receptive to using it ("Dark magic has a tingly aftertaste, nobody ever tells you that"), and doesn't see anything fundamentally wrong with it ("Should I give up dark magic? Terry, tell me what to do" "Claudia, I can't"). On the one hand, this makes sense; there are spell ingredients of dark magic that aren't that different from hunting and given that Terry grew up near the Drakeriders, I'd find it hard to believe if the Drake riders don't hunt and eat meat, so even if Terry's village didn't, he was at least somewhat close to societies that did.

That doesn't mean he has zero reservations about dark magic ("I've seen you do some awful things, dark magic things" / "Are you mixing the pentapus ink with your own blood?") but that to him, it's not any different from how Claudia thinks about it. She also thinks she's done terrible things in the name of saving her father:

But I'm not evil. It's me. You know me.

I had to do things... [starts crying] I never imagined I would be able to do. (4x01)

This is also how Terry copes with murdering Ibis, citing "I had to, I couldn't let him hurt you," "and he was going to take Claudia's life, I had no choice," and "I'm going to be strong enough to do whatever I need to do and still have feelings." To Terry what matters most is exactly what he says in 4x09: why are you doing these things? Are they actually necessary?

Terry loves Claudia (and Viren by extension) above anything else. Everything he does is for them, good or bad. That devotional loyalty is something that Claudia also lives by, and is arguably her and Terry's biggest shared life value.

Doing terrible things is okay if it's in the name of love, and if it's not, then you shouldn't do them. This is why when he talks about his grief/guilt with Ibis, Terry always scaffolds it alongside the reason why he did it.

This is also why Terry steps in exclusively when what Claudia is doing is unnecessary. She didn't need to trick Rayla in order to get away. She doesn't need to kill the dragon ("It won't follow us anymore, it's trapped") as it's already helpless. They're actions without good reasons, which is also why Terry distrusts Aaravos, because he realizes:

Maybe this story started out as a story of love, but along the way it got twisted. [...] He isn't doing anything for love. He's doing it out of revenge.

So long as Claudia is doing things out of love, Terry will stick by her. And if she stops doing it out of love, then she stops being the Claudia he knows.

Which, I'll also note, is fundamentally different from the Claudia that everyone else knows, because

2) He didn't know Claudia beforehand.

Terry doesn't know Claudia as a semi sheltered girl growing up in the palace who did dark magic solely for fun, nor how most of her close personal relationships (Soren, Callum, Ezran) got destroyed in the span of 3ish weeks. He only knows Claudia who uses dark magic (seemingly) 90% out of complete necessity for flight, safety, and bringing her father back. He seemingly doesn't really know how Soren and Claudia had their falling out, nor does he have any real clue who Callum or Ezran are.

Because Claudia was his only way to know these things rather than knowing multiple people involved, or even living through experiences, Terry would've gotten sparse details or the version that is how Claudia experienced them, and he has no reason to doubt her.

To be clear, I'm not saying that their set up is perfect or that their relationships is perfectly healthy. It's not. Claudia's singular control over how Terry knows the experiences of her life when we as an audience know it's very different is an issue, but is not that dissimilar from when you meet / date new people to begin with (i.e. was their ex really that bad, or were they the problem is sometimes something that can only be known in time). Terry's passivity and mirrored worldview helps enable Claudia's even when she's being destructive to herself and others, and her treating Terry as an exception for his people is also not good in the long run. Clauderry walks this line of being incredibly sweet and uncomfortable, and I think that's one of the things that makes it interesting and with spades of tragedy, particularly going into S7. Terry may not yet have a deep seated issue with dark magic (which enables Claudia but also frees her up to grow on her own terms), but it is the reason they may be torn apart in the future for a time.

I do think they'll find their way back together eventually (even if they'll always be Divorced Eventually in my head). To me, it's clear why they love each other, and while TDP could say that's not enough (and I think that'd be a very interesting valid route to take), I don't think that they will. This scene exists, after all:

[some-pers0n]

hi hey just wanna let u know that i (this anon in particular) would always want to listen to your thoughts about The Thing youre excited about regardless of the reason or my knowledge or the time-space continuum!

YOU! Ohhh anon you poor soul. I'm terribly sorry. I have been holding onto this ask for a while, at least until the next time I felt as Energized about Them again. Shaking. Twitching. I don't quite know how to explain it. I can only take potshots at attempting to rationalize my thoughts behind them. With that said, here's more rambling about Engiemedic, the only thing I seem to care about

I've rambled about Engiemedic a fair amount of times before, either jokingly with goofy remarks about them or writing a giantass fic about them. They scratch a certain part of my brain that is difficult to really describe and pin-down.

Like I've never really "shipped" anybody before them. Did I like ships? Yeah sure of course. I've always liked considering relationships and thinking about how they intersect and are written. It's probably definitely the aroace bit of me talking, but I only really get involved in ships when there's really some substance to them.

It makes Engiemedic this weird fucked up anomaly to me then because what the hell do you mean that this decently popular non-canon pairing that's had all of like 30 seconds of shared screentime and maybe seven panels where they're in the same room at max has become so engrossing and fascinating to me. It's not like the usual ships where this happens to people; the ones with lengthy tragic tales tied to them or spend so much time with one another. It's just two silly guys

It just...perplexes me. It's odd. I can't describe what about it really draws me in, despite the fact I've written so much. I can at least try and figure out what it is though

I think the thing that made me first interested was simply the dynamic and jokes to be made. They are exceptionally silly, wherein I can fully believe them sticking together and doing weird experiments for hours upon hours. It's hard not to imagine them getting excited over whatever project they've been throwing themselves at. It's fun

Because ultimately both Engie and Medic are both unethical murderous science people, Medic obviously while Engie is a tiny bit more subtle. Their dynamic is interesting in that regard 'cause, when paired together, now you've got two weirdo freaky smart people tossing back ideas and before you know it now they're trying to create some sort of nuclear-powered contraption that explodes bones

It calls out to me in a way that other ships don't, especially Heavymedic. No shade to Heavymedic shippers out there, I think it's still a fun ship, but I don't find it as compelling with their dynamic. Heavy is a reasonable and level-headed guy. Yeah he kills people and laughs about their misery and whatever, but he's more stable than most other mercs. If Medic was to say "I want to self-isolate for days on end while I work to create the bubonic plague 2.0" Heavy would have concerns and try to stop him from doing it because What the Hell

Engie, however, would endorse it. I think Engie and Medic are very similar in that regard. They're dedicated to their crafts and understand the nuance and skill that it takes to partake in it. Engie obviously still has qualms and is there in case Medic clearly ain't right, but he's more likely to get caught up in whatever experiment that Medic is trying to do

Which brings me to my next point: the way they influence each other. When together, I think they are at their best and worst (morally at least). It's like that trope with two smart people coming together and being dumbasses, but instead it's with them making weird creations and doing odd experiments that ultimately do not benefit anyone. They simply do it for fun

On a more personal level, I think Medic draws out the parts of Engie where he tries to hide and represses. Headcanons, obviously, but I think Medic taps into Engie's more sinister nature as a maniac with a god complex and a hankering to kill and really draws it out. It's infectious and hard not to try and match his energy. Medic makes Engie want to get more creative with his projects and drives him to be more experimental and, of course, murderous

Likewise and, again, mainly headcanons, I think Engie helps Medic tap into a slightly more "human" side. I think Medic generally struggles with caring about other people, discarding them in favour of working on his own projects and being by himself. Engie is one of the first people he's encountered that not only likes him and enjoys his company, but is just as wacky and weird as he is. Engie is more charismatic and outgoing and, while still not too terribly great with the whole emotions thing, helps Medic out in case he's Not Doing Good

Their personalities intertwine so much they make me ever so slightly ill. They don't seem alike really at first glance. Medic is over the top, eccentric, and generally a giggly mad scientist. Clear to see the archetype he's based on. Yet, when you look past Engie's charming little quips about Texas, he's very much alike Medic. He has a god complex, is highly intelligent, morally bankrupt, etc and etc. He's just as eccentric and wacky as the doc is, but is only slightly better at keeping it under wraps

I just think they're really entertaining when put together honestly. Sure yeah I love me my angsty and fluffy stuff with them, but I think they're simply great when just working on some project and talking to each other. Their personalities bounce off of one another exceptionally well and it's hard for them not to get so caught up in their work that Oh No it's been Four Days and they haven't left the workshop/laboratory

Ultimately, yeah. I think they care about each other a lot that way. Their work is...intimate in a way. They're lab partners. They spend all of this time together, defying God's will with whatever unholy machination they've crafted, they got to have some sort of bond

What makes me happy is that I think a lot of people really like the concept of Engiemedic in any form. Platonic, romantic, whatever. I personally go for QPR stuff (something about their love being undefinable by normal standards blah blah), but I think it's a neat observation that makes me like it more. It's hard to deny that they're really fun together

Speaking of their connections, let's talk about their roles in the actual game. Y'all heard of the Heavymedic duo, with Heavy running around with a Medic pocketing him the entire time, but have you ever considered the Engiemedic duo?? Engie and Medic are the BACKBONES of this game honestly. All it takes is one Engineer or Medic on a team to shift the balance entirely. Everyone wants a good Engie and Medic, but it's a hard role to fill and nobody really wants it. However, they're needed. They're necessary. They're the main support roles of the game than, say, Sniper or Spy ever are. They're the underappreciated, yet incredibly vital parts of the team.

Honestly the Engiemedic duo is far more prevalent and makes far more sense than the Heavymedic duo, because tbh you can say that Medic is closely connected to any class. Soldiermedic duo where Solly just spams rockets and wipes out the entire team. Demomedic duo where Demo just spams pipes and annihilates every building. What makes the Heavymedic duo any special? God I'm sorry for being a little Heavymedic hater, I promise I think the ship is alright, but idk. I like Engiemedic a lot

Anywho, I think Engiemedic is extremely fun to write about as well as just generally experience. There's so much you can apply to them. It's hard to think of anything they can't do, really. They're great with humor, what with shoving them into a room with some cadaver and letting them have at it. They're great with angst because, with headcanons, they can be really heavily fucked up people trying to make things work. They're great with fluff because they're so silly and it's easy to think of them doing cute things with one another. The list goes on!

They're...special to me. They're certainly something. I could go into all sorts of other things too (more esoteric and metaphoric I'm talking), but eh who cares. I don't like delving too much into headcanons and my own weird readings with these more generalized rambles. I just think they're silly :]

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

...the dawn of ♥ kink!week ♥ is upon us...

(don't know what kink week is? click here!)

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

∼ those faint of heart, look away and shield thine eyes — miserable sinners, prepare; for we have entered the unholy week ∼

∼ day one brings us our beloved metallic lady ♥ Jane Murdstone ♥ ∼

∼ tags and the fic are under the cut ∼

♥ i've worked very hard on this series — it was a huge project to undertake and i would very much appreciate if you left me comments with your thoughts and impressions — you already know they make my heart sing ♥ (AO3 link — i prefer it to tumblr vastly)

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

tags: #alternate universe - modern setting #dominatrix #bdsm #bladder control #watersports #piss kink #mistress/slave #dom/sub play #fetish clothing #leather gloves #face slapping #degradation kink #humiliation #golden shower #masturbation #aftercare #kink!week

don't look away (as i bare my soul to you) (clicking on the title will lead you to ao3)

You will always remember the night you met her.

You were attending a house party organised by one of your good friends — very much a social butterfly, unlike yourself — and you weren't surprised there were all sorts of interesting people there, and that one of them just happened to be the tallest, most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. 

You could tell she was exceptionally bored as she sat on the couch alone, long legs crossed, typing on her phone and absentmindedly sipping her wine. You probably stared at her for a full minute, just awkwardly hanging by the door with your own drink, taken by her commanding presence and how stunning she looked just in her casual black slacks and blouse that was unbuttoned just enough that you could almost see her bra if you angled your head the right way. 

You surely would have stared much longer had she not lifted her gaze and raised her eyebrow at you. You immediately felt your cheeks burn and your palms sweat, embarrassment overwhelming you, as if you’ve been caught doing something terribly wrong. You opened your mouth, wanting to say something, but you didn’t know what could be said after so rudely staring at someone, so you turned to leave.

What stopped you from fleeing in shame, with your tail between your legs, was that she smirked and gestured you to join her, tapping a spot next to her on the couch. You immediately obeyed. No other option even crossed your mind — something about this woman drew you in.

“Jane Murdstone,” she said with a delicious, velvety English accent, extending her arm towards you as you sat next to her. You noticed how piercingly blue her eyes are.

“My palms are sweaty,” you said stupidly, looking at her with your mouth slightly agape, feeling as if you were in the presence of a goddess.

“Then wipe them on your trousers,” she said calmly, cocking her head. The corner of her lips barely perceptibly curled upwards.

You wiped your palms on your trousers and went on to shake her hand. You immediately noticed how big it is compared to yours, and you didn’t know why it flustered you so much. She gave you a firm squeeze and lingered a second longer than necessary. 

“Will I get a name, or just reports on the state of your palms?” she asked.

You stuttered while telling her your name, but she didn’t comment on it.

“Do I have something on my face?” she just asked, leaning back into the couch and swinging her arm over the headrest. 

“Why?” you asked back, confused.

“You stared at me for a full minute,” she answered, smirking, and took a sip of her wine. She never once broke eye contact with you — it made you squirmy, but you couldn’t look away, as if under a spell. You felt as if she was looking at your very soul — bare and unprotected and vulnerable.

“I—I’m sorry, I just thought… I just thought you were beautiful,” you managed to utter.

“Did you, now?” she asked, looking very amused .

You nodded.

“Well, thank you. But don’t you know it’s quite rude to stare?”

That finally made you avert your gaze in shame. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry — I like making people flustered. I’m having a lot of fun right now.”

You looked up at her again. She was staring at you with that piercing gaze that made you feel completely naked, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement. “And what do you do for fun?” she asked.

Oh, you were completely enraptured by her.

You spent the entire evening talking about everything and nothing. You were surprised how comfortable you felt with her, despite her commanding presence — or maybe because of it. She never paid any attention to you stuttering, nor your blushing — she just sat there and waited until she got an answer to a question she asked. It made it hard to avoid talking about yourself — and oh, it felt so good to talk about yourself for once. 

At one point you asked her what she did for work — and then choked on your drink when you heard the answer. It surprised you, even though her commanding presence could have been an inkling — but she just looked so normal, with her dark brown hair in a loose bun, her tasteful and minimal makeup, and her slacks, blouse and pumps that made her look like a businesswoman on her evening off.

“A dominatrix? That’s really cool,” you said, blushing, “I just didn’t expect it. Don’t get me wrong, but you just look very normal.”

She raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her wine. “Oh, and what did you expect? Latex? Or leather?”

You felt very silly because that is exactly what you expected. “Sorry, I just… I just never met a dominatrix before.”

“So, not familiar with that world, I presume?”

“Not really. But, I mean… I’m… interested. I mean, not interested interested, don’t get me wrong. I just, you know, had like, thoughts, and I’d never actually do it, but I think about, I mean not think about, just like… I wonder sometimes, you know, like what it’d be like, like, none of the hardcore stuff, but just, you know—”

She interrupted your pathetic rambling. “Would you want to try it?”

You froze. “What?”

“Would you want to try it?” she repeated. Her expression was completely calm and neutral, as if she just asked you about your favourite colour. 

“I—I—I mean, that would make no sense. I was always… I’m boring. I just go to my job and then I go home. It couldn’t be into something like that, like, it’d be so out of character and it… it just makes no sense that I would, you know, be like…. into it,” you fumbled.

“I didn’t ask you if it would make sense. I asked if you’d like to try it.”

You spent the next couple of seconds just staring at her, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. She just sat there in silence, calmly sipping her wine, waiting for you to answer.

And finally, you did.

“Yes.”

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

You glance at the clock. 

It’s 12pm — another five hours until the end of your work day, and you already can’t focus on anything else besides the pain in your bladder. 

You press your thighs together — you can do this. 

You take in a deep breath before turning your attention to the pile of paperwork laying on your desk — mocking you and waiting for you to go through it. And you will — you must. It has to be done by the end of the day. You won’t let yourself get fired — you’ll push through.

You wouldn’t want to disappoint your Mistress, after all.

Jane has been your Mistress for about six months now, and slowly you are starting to venture into kinks you never thought you’d admit being interested in — to anyone — ever. You were fully prepared to take those with you to the grave.

Truth be told, you once thought the same about trying out a BDSM lifestyle, and then… well. Then you sort of stumbled into it — and now it’s something you do on a Monday afternoon after working hours.

Or, in this case, during working hours.

Your belly tingles with excitement just thinking about it — no one knows you’re engaging in a sexual fantasy of yours right now.

You clench your thighs together again — both to help with the fact that you really need to pee right now and to give provide some friction. You know, however, that you absolutely cannot touch yourself, nor go to the bathroom — not until 6pm today, when your scheduled session takes place.

You smile and start sorting through the paperwork in front of you. You’re giddy with anticipation.

6pm can’t come soon enough.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

You can barely stand when you get to her apartment and ring the doorbell. Your bladder hurts — you don’t think you can hold it in much longer.

She opens the door in a black, silken night-robe. Her long hair is loose and fluffy around her shoulders, she isn’t wearing any makeup, and she’s barefoot. She seems to be naked underneath the robe. It’s unusual — she normally puts on something more fitting for her role. however, you still think she looks gorgeous — perhaps even more so than usual.

She eyes you up and down. “Come in,” she says, face impassive, then turns around and walks towards the playroom. “Coat, bag, shoes,” she commands, not bothering to turn around or look at you as she disappears into the room on the right. 

You quickly hang your coat and bag and take your shoes off before you follow her, pressing your thighs together and clenching your pelvic muscles as hard as you can.

She waits for you in the playroom, sitting on the big couch next to the window. She gestures for you to stand in the middle of the room.

“Stand here and don’t move. You’ll watch me get dressed. When I’m done, you can go to the bathroom.”

As much as the thought excites you, you don’t think you can last even another ten minutes.

“But, Mistress, I… I don’t think I can hold it in much longer. It’s been an entire day.”

“Well,” she says, tilting her head. She watches you squirm from the couch, lips curling in amusement. “If you can’t make it, you’ll just have to go right here.”

“R-right here?” you repeat. You can feel your cheeks starting to burn. “But… I can’t.”

“Well, if you can’t then you won’t,” she simply says and gets up from the couch. She walks towards the little vanity in the corner of the room and stars sorting through her makeup. “And if you can, you are welcome to. However — you don’t get to use the bathroom until I’m done.” She sits down on the little chair and starts applying moisturiser on her face. 

“But—but—” you start, but she interrupts you. 

“You will not give me attitude, or there will be consequences,” she says, looking at you through the mirror. The tone of her voice sends a shiver down your spine — cold, uncompromising, and so fucking hot. 

“Yes, Mistress,” you say and your voice sounds squeakier than you intended. 

“Poor little thing — always so flustered around me,” she coos while dabbing concealer under her eyes, saccharine condescension oozing from her voice. “You just need to be stepped on, don’t you? You need someone to tell you what to do and when to do it — even your bodily functions. Can’t even do that yourself.”

“No, Mistress,” you say, shuffling on your feet, pressing your thighs together. Your bladder really hurts. 

“Stop squirming,” she says, dusting eyeshadow on her lids and glancing at you in the mirror. “You have one very simple task and it is to stand still. Or are you too incompetent even for that?”

“It really hurts, Mistress. May I sit down?” you ask.

“No.”

You try your best not to squirm. You press your thighs together as tightly as you can, trying to take deep breaths to soothe yourself and breathe through the pain. You somehow manage to zone out — you watch her do her makeup, as if in a trance, and you’re proud of yourself for doing rather well. You make it through powder, mascara, blush, eyeliner and lipstick, and before you know it, she’s done. She fluffs out her hair and checks her makeup in the mirror, and then she gets up and turns to look at you.

“You’re doing well,” she says. “A bit too well. Is this too easy, hm?” she asks, approaching you.

“No, Mistress.”

She stands in front of you — and fuck, she’s so tall. It makes you feel all fuzzy and tingly inside. 

“Oh, I disagree,” she says. She throws the robe off of herself, revealing that she is, indeed, naked underneath. You mouth waters. “You’ll help me get into my corset.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

She turns and walks towards the couch. Her ass and thighs jiggle as she walks. You lick your lips, and your belly tingles — you hope she lets you touch her today. You’d love to worship her.

Laying on the couch, you only now realise, is the outfit she picked for herself for today — a black corset, a leather harness, black stockings, and — your favourite — black leather gloves. Black heels are on the floor next to it. You see no panties of any kind, which is a bit unusual, but not unwelcome. 

She takes the gloves first. She makes eye contact with you as she slowly puts them on, taking her time, wiggling her fingers and clenching her fist after she slides each of them on — and it’s so hot you almost forget abut the burning pain in your bladder. Your mouth gapes open and your heart beats faster.

“Close your mouth,” she says sternly before she moves on to the stockings, and you immediately obey.

She puts one long leg on the couch and slides the stocking on — painfully slowly — then does the same with the other one. You lick your lips and squirm again. “Don’t. Squirm,” she commands.

“Sorry, Mistress.”

She slides her feet into black heels, then grabs the corset before she slowly walks to you, swaying her hips. Her breasts bounce as she moves and you can’t help but stare. She’s even taller now with the heels on, and it makes you giddy. You feel so tiny next to her.

As soon as she reaches you, she slaps you across the face — hard. You gasp.

“You can’t even follow simple directions — stand still and keep your mouth closed. How many times to I need to say it, hm?” she says and grabs your jaw with her gloved hand. She presses her fingers into your cheeks so hard it hurts. “Answer me.”

“I—I’m sorry, Mistress, it won’t happen again,” you utter, eyes wide, chest slightly heaving. You have to crane your neck so far back to meet her gaze — you love it.

She lets go of your jaw, and then immediately slaps you again, making you suck in a sharp breath.

“How is your bladder?” she asks as she wraps the corset she’s holding around her torso. It’s already buckled in the front, but the laces on the back are loose. 

“It hurts, Mistress.”

“Poor thing,” she says, her face stony, as she pokes your belly with her finger. You tense your muscles and clench your thighs together. 

“Please, Mistress — it hurts,” you say. You’re doing so well — but if she does that again, you know you won’t be able to hold it in.

“Does it now?” she asks condescendingly. 

“Yes, Mistress.”

She simply chuckles. 

“Tie this. Make it tight.”

She turns around, holding the corset pressed to her stomach, and you immediately start working on the laces. The pain in your bladder is becoming worse by the minute, especially after her poking it. You can barely concentrate on your task, but somehow you manage to push through. 

She turns back around to face you. “Only the harness left. Do you think you can make it?” 

She reaches inside the corset to adjust her breasts. Your gaze wanders towards them. You bite your lip as you watch her gloved hand fondle her breast, cupping it and pushing upwards. “Eyes up.”

You look up. The intensity with which she looks at you makes you shiver — it always does. With her, you always feel like you’ve nowhere to hide. It’s like she can see inside your soul, like she truly sees you — pathetic and shivering and naked — and she never averts her eyes. 

“I can make it, Mistress.”

“Are you quite sure?” she asks, and her blue eyes twinkle, but her face is otherwise unreadable. 

“I think so, Mistress.” 

It hurts — badly — but you don’t want to give up now that you’re so close to making it.

“Wait here,” she says and walks out of the room. You watch her ass wiggle and her hips sway as she leaves.

The moment she exits the room, you squirm and press your thighs together as hard as you can. You don’t know how to feel — on one hand, it would be really hot if she made you pee your pants, and on the other, you don’t think you could handle the shame you’d feel. You like humiliation — but this? You’ve never done something like this before. You decide you’ll try your best to hold it in until she lets you go to the bathroom.

She returns quickly, carrying a big water bottle. She hands it to you. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

“Drink,” she says. “All of it.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

You start drinking, and she watches. It’s a big bottle, and you aren’t sure you can drink it all. You can feel your belly filling with water, and the pressure in your bladder is unbearable. You try to lower the bottle, pace yourself, but she tilts it and pushes it into your mouth. 

“I said, all of it.”

She reaches under your shirt and grabs your hips. You’re still drinking. She gentle runs her gloved hands over your stomach — lightly, teasingly — then under your bra. You continue drinking until you finish the bottle as she fondles you, sending tingles down your spine.

“All done?” she asks, running her fingers over your ribs. 

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Give it to me.”

She takes the bottle and puts it on the little table next to the couch, then returns to you.

“You must be so uncomfortable,” she says, sliding her hands under your shirt again, putting one on the small of your back and the other on your bloated belly.

“Yes, Mistress.” You’re sure you can’t make it at this point. “How long… until I can go to the bathroom, Mistress?” you ask.

She gently massages your belly and you whimper. “Oh, but you could go right now, and it would all stop.”

“But I can’t, I’m too embarrassed.”

“And what if I commanded you to go, hm? You wouldn’t disobey me, would you?” she asks, circling around you as she caresses your stomach, until she’s behind you and pressing her body into yours. She leans down and you feel her hot breath on your ear. You whimper.

“I can’t, Mistress, please, I—”

She grabs your neck from behind you, her gloved hand pressing against your windpipe. “Do not give me attitude.”

Suddenly, she grabs your hips and presses her fingers into your pelvis. You gasp and your muscles give in — and the next thing you know warm liquid is trickling down your thigh. Horrified, you watch a dark, wet spot form on your trousers.

Jane lets go of your waist and walks to stand in front of you as you continue to stare at your crotch, deep shame colouring your cheeks red. You can’t help but gasp in relief as the painful pressure bladder finally subsides, which makes you even more embarrassed. You hide your face into your hands and press your thighs together. It just keeps going — you have’t peed all day. You feel it trickle down your calves and onto your feet until it pools on the floor. Tears of shame prickle in your eyes. 

“Look at me,” Jane says. You slowly lower your hands and clutch your shirt, breathing deeply and trying not to cry. You look at her. She’s standing a few feet away from you, watching you, her gaze as intense as ever. “Don’t avert your eyes.”

You watch her, tears streaming down your face, your underwear, your trousers and your socks uncomfortably wet, as she walks towards the couch and takes the harness. She puts it on, but it takes a while. You just stand there — embarrassed, blushing, crying and wet. 

You aren’t wet just from your own piss, however.

Something about the humiliation makes you incredibly aroused, and Jane knows it — oh, she knows it well. She knew it from the first night you talked — you didn’t even have to tell her — and she pushes you, always pushes you just a bit further than the last time.

She walks back towards you, now clad in the elaborate harness that hugs her neck, her waist, her arms and her thighs, black leather belts crisscrossing. She looks like your dirtiest fantasy.

“Kneel,” she says. 

You kneel into the puddle of your own piss, wetting your trousers even further. 

You look up at her. As she isn’t wearing any underwear, your gaze wanders to her pussy — it looks pink and delicious and absolutely delectable. You wonder if she’s command you to eat her out, and you shiver in anticipation, heat pooling in your belly. 

She lifts her leg and puts her heeled foot onto your shoulder. “Since you’re already so filthy,” she says, “it’ll make no difference if you’re even filthier.”

You stare at her pink, slick folds and your mouth waters. “Tilt your head back. Look me in the eyes,” she says. You do as you’re told and you meet her gaze. She watches you, her lips parted and her eyes dark with lust. 

You gasp when warm liquid hits your chest. You feel her piss slowly wet your shirt and your bra and drip down your stomach into your underwear. She keeps eye contact the entire time. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she says. “Filthy girl.”

“Yes, Mistress,” you whimper, cheeks red, chest heaving. 

“Nasty, dirty girl,” she says, her voice deep and thick with lust. “I bet your pussy is all wet, hm?”

“Yes, Mistress,” you breathe out. She looks like a goddess, looking down upon you. Your mind feels fuzzy and you feel as light as a feather. You’d do anything she asked of you right now. You just want to serve her.

She removes her foot from your shoulder, and you barely notice that the heel dug into your flesh — you only feel a sort of a euphoria. 

“Stay on the floor and touch yourself. You can come.”

“Yes, Mistress,” you say and immediately slip your hand into your soaked underwear. 

“Sit down, ass on the floor.”

You do as she tells you and sit down in the puddle of piss. Your trousers immediately soak through on your ass, but you don’t care.

She looks down on you as you start rubbing your clit. “Look at you. Nasty girl. You like sitting in your own filth, hm?”

“Yes, Mistress,” you moan, rubbing your clit faster.

“No wonder you need me to guide you. You can’t do anything yourself except rub your pussy like a bitch in heat.”

“Yes, Mistress,” you whine. You’re already getting close. “Ah, Mistress, you’re so good to me.”

“I’m too good to you. Nasty girls such as yourself only deserve a firm hand.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whimper. You slip your fingers inside of your dripping cunt and start pumping your them in and out — but your trousers are in the way, and you quickly unzip them and pull them down your thighs along with your underwear, and you’re now sitting bare in a pool of piss. You spread your legs as far as you can as you continue to fuck yourself, hitting your clit with your palm every time you pump your fingers into your aching pussy.

“Look at you — so desperate. I don’t even have to touch you for you to fall apart. Such a dirty fucking slut.”

“Ah — yes, yes, Mistress,” you whine. You’re so close.

“Look me in the eyes when you come. I want you to know who you belong to — every orgasm you have is mine, do you understand?”

“Y-yes, Mistress, ah—” you breathe out as your eyes meet her icy blue ones. 

“Come for me,” she says, her voice cold and stern and uncompromising as she watches you, her gaze baring your soul. You are unable to hide from her — she is witnessing you at your lowest, in a puddle of piss rutting against your hand like an animal, and yet she never averts her gaze. She disarms you, renders you unable to do anything other than obey. You belong to her.

And you love it.

You keep eye contact as your orgasm washes over you, fast and hard and intense. For you, for you, it’s for you, you think as ecstasy overwhelms you and the only thing you’re aware of are her blue eyes, watching you, judging you and absolving you at the same time. You keep fucking yourself through the aftershocks, mumbling, “I’m yours, Mistress, it’s for you,” as you slowly come down from your high, unsure if anything you say is intelligible. 

She is silent — she waits for you to come to your senses.

A wave of shame hits you as soon as the orgasmic euphoria is gone. Tears pool in your eyes and fall down your cheeks. You want to hide your face in your hands or your shirt, but you’re covered in piss and it disgusts you. “I’m disgusting,” you cry, tears blurring your vision. You can’t look her in the eye.

“You aren’t,” she says as she takes off her gloves, and you want to believe her, but you can’t. 

You cry and you cry, and she helps you clean up. You shower together, and she wordlessly holds you while you cry, and then helps you put on clean spare clothes that you keep at her place for occasions such as this one. You cry some more, and she caresses your hair and lets you cling to her.

She isn’t a very gentle woman — you learned that quickly — but there is something about her presence that comforts you. You feel safe around her. She says few words, but they are picked carefully — and she won’t argue with the mean voices in your head. She says what she means exactly once.

“I’m glad you trusted me with this,” she says as she bids you goodbye at the door. You say nothing — you just hug her. She tenses up, not expecting it, but then she relaxes and hugs you tighter. She smells like citrus shower gel, and you know you do too. You look forward to lying in your bed tonight smelling like her. 

“See you next week, Jane,” you murmur into her chest. She pulls back and kisses your forehead — a rare show of affection.

“Take care,” she says. 

As you walk back home, you feel pleasantly light.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

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[strxnged]

KAVEH: # following a long day. comfort/platonic; 500w.

your day had been exceptionally terrible, and, showing up at kaveh and alhaitham’s doorstep, you pleaded with kaveh to let you stay the night so that you wouldn’t have to be alone with yourself.

he opened the door wide for you, of course, asking if you wanted anything to drink.

“i’d rather just go to bed if that's alright,” you told him. “i can sleep on the couch.”

“are you sure?”

you told him that you'd sleep on the floor if it meant you wouldn't have to be alone.

he decided that he would sleep on other couch in the sitting room.

he pulled two blankets out for you:

”this one was brought from some merchants in aaru village to port ormos, where i purchased it,” he told you, “and this one i got from a weaver from fontaine. sheepskin. just look at the design!”

you took one. “at least i’ll be sleeping in style.”

the couch was not uncomfortable, and you were not cold, but of course you still could not sleep. events of the day haunted your thoughts as you lay back, only light from the hall lantern and moonlight from the foyer window preventing sheer darkness.

“comfy?”

“i'll be fine.”

“that sounds like a no.”

you managed a chuckle.

“sorry, am i keeping you awake?”

“don't worry about me,” you said, “what about alhaitham? isn't he in bed?”

kaveh scoffed. “at this hour? he's probably still reading. i wouldn't be concerned about keeping him awake, friend. he can complain to me tomorrow.”

“i’d feel bad.”

“no, no. please don't feel bad for inconveniencing alhaitham.”

you felt a bit better. “and you?

“i’d rather you were here and miserable than alone and miserable.”

“well.” you pulled your blanket up to your neck. “i appreciate it, kavs.”

“kavs?”

you smiled to yourself.

he asked you what the nickname meant, but you didn't reply.

“you're a strange one, y/n. you better explain it tomorrow.”

“mhm,” you said. and again, emotion hit you out of nowhere, deafening you to anything he said afterwards. you rubbed your eyes, wishing that you could imagine anything else.

kaveh noticed your silence and asked you what had happened today.

you could not tell him all the details—you could not bear it.

but you told him some.

enough that he understood why you came over.

his voice was soft and careful when you were done.

“i'm sorry,” he said into the darkness, “i’m sorry you had to go through that. i wish i could keep you from ever feeling how you do now. is—is there anything i can do to help?”

“kaveh, you're doing plenty just by having me here.”

“nonsense.”

you didn't respond, your eyes threatening to shut.

“are you sleeping yet?”

you weren’t, yet, but you stayed quiet.

“sleep tight, y/n.”

you heard a bit of a shuffle, but your eyes were shut and so you did not look. you got a feeling, however, that kaveh had repositioned himself on the floor next to the couch you were lying on, ready to comfort you should you need it.

author's note. hello my lovelies. i've got reason to believe that you may have had a bad day recently if you read this far; here's your reminder that kaveh would want to hear you out, and that i do want to hear you out if you need to vent. my inbox is open and you may specify that you don't want your ask answered/answered publicly.

also, as of posting this, i wrote this two weeks ago, but kept it in my drafts until i was sure i wanted to post it. i had an exceptionally long day at work today and it felt right. it was a nice read, too. i love kaveh.

consider reblogging if you enjoyed!

➳ GENSHIN MASTERLIST

[theheirofthesharingan]

Why do you think shisui and itachi stayed exceptionally loyal to konoha even after the mistreatment of the Uchiha clan? Do you think they should’ve rebelled against them and sided with their family?

Initially, both the boys were aiming to find a middle-ground where without any damage — or at least without any extreme damage — they could halt the coup, which would inevitably thwart the possibility of the war as well. That is why Shisui came up with the idea of Kotoamatsukami, the only thing that could work. It wasn't him choosing the village over his clan as much as it was his last effort to unite two powerful monolithic entities that were ideologically on the opposite side of the spectrum. Itachi was in full agreement with all of this.

It wasn't about changing the mind of one person, but the whole village that had been deliberately made to believe the Uchiha clan was responsible for the deaths of their loved ones, and had carried out an attack as powerful as that. If, as one final effort, Shisui could convince the clan with Fugaku's manipulation and arrest/deaths of a handful of the radical Uchiha, the peace attained would come at a much cheaper price.

But we know what happened. His plan with kotoamatsukami most likely would have worked, and Danzo couldn't allow that to happen. Shisui never reached the point in his life where he had to make one concrete decision in an absolute term. Itachi even believed that had Shisui lived to see the day when the massacre happened, he would have sided with the clan instead of the village, and they would have fought as enemies. But that's only Itachi's opinion. Who knows Shisui would have killed all four elders even before they ordered the massacre because of what they put Itachi through.

Itachi's case is different. I've written more about it here. Please go through this. Itachi's isolation from the clan wasn't only on the ideological terms but also their suspicions and their refusal to see the other perspective. Just like Shisui he also wanted to find a solution that would bring the whole conflict to an end with only a slight whimper, instead of what it came to in the end.

He became the biggest deviant in the clan because of him witnessing the war, which essentially turned him into a ninja that began to see the clan as a subset of the village, instead of a separate institution. He might have supported the clan had they come up with something other than coup to solve their problem. The whole idea of the coup was terrible and short-sighted, that even Fugaku, for all his experiences in war, didn't realize would not have worked.

In case Itachi sided with his family. The clan takes over the village, Fugaku becomes the Hokage, then what? The rest of the village that already saw them as a threat would have accepted it that easily? No. If anything, their fears would have come true. What they were told about the Uchiha would have been proven right. The rest of the clans would express their displeasure, followed by a lot of heated arguments, and who would have the time to exercise diplomacy in those moments? Add to that the clans taking sides (and the Uchiha would have been left on their own) would result in the defeat of the Uchiha. Even then, that would already cause tremendous tumult, enough to most likely attract the attention of the enemy nations. The last bit is a strong possibility. With Obito's involvement in the matter it becomes even more obvious, who wanted to destroy both the clan and the village.

Itachi hardly ever had any choice. Many people even bring the examples of the smaller villages being attacked and WW-IV not breaking out, but ignore that Konoha is a humongous village, and any tremor in it would be felt worldwide. Civil war would even be worse.

I come from a country where the rulers in the ancient times fought each other, making it easier for the invaders to attack and rule over us for close to one thousand years. I have no doubt that's what would have happened with the village and Konoha as well. It wasn't an easy choice for Itachi to make, but once he made it, he never backed down.

[ourgreatergood]

⭐star⭐

Thank you so much! <3

So, let me tell you about the evolution of "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore"

Even though "all too well" is definitely more popular and also close second in my favorite stories, its older sister is still even closer to my heart.

I literally started writing Life and Lies almost ten years ago. I wrote it in German (my first language) and I wrote it in the span of one summer. I wrote it after I experienced terrible heartbreak and (at least emotionally) the whole impact of my dysfunctional family dynamics came crashing down on me and honestly it just felt like my world was collapsing - in short, I was suffering from severe depression and adjustment disorder. And I did what I've done my whole life to survive: I started living in my head even more than usually and I wrote to stay some kind of sane. And what did I write? Which fictional character had to suffer for me? Of course Albus. Always Albus.

You have to imagine at this point in time all the grindeldore information I have is from the HP books and from a couple interviews with the author. No CC in sight, not even dreaming of FB ever happening.

In the beginning it was three parts: Summer of 1899, Ariana incident and the Duel in 1945 and they were actually written in that order. Only much later I put them together and filled the blanks to form one cohesive story.

Now, in the very first version of the summer of 1899 Albus and Gellert kissed exactly once. I was still going by the whole unsure if Gellert returned Albus's feelings kind of vibe - I always believed he did, but at this point I believed he was only going to be aware of it much much later in life. (At this point shout out to some exceptionally inspiring fanfic, a character study of Gellert in Nurmengard. It's German, but if you understand that, give it a read! Nebel über Nurmengard)

I wrote Albus very in love and Gellert being very manipulating.

And there's more: The first version of the 1945 duel? Albus was almost ready to confront Gellert, after years of everyone begging him. Almost. He went to meet him and he still tried to talk Gellert out of his whole war one last time. Gellert, in turn, offered Albus to join him again and when Albus declined, what was the breaking point for Albus to get his courage up to fight? It was Gellert telling him that he had been manipulating him all along - and believe me, he was cruel at that. (Of course it was always up to the reader to decide whether to believe Gellert or not and the story was always going to end with making it clear that at least in later life Gellert realised that he'd loved Albus all along.)

I swear to you I think I have never written anything as painful as those early versions of Life and Lies. I remember very well that I cried writing some of it, but I'd sworn I would stay true to canon (at the time) and just fill in the missing scenes. I think, looking back now, that it was very cathartic for me, that I needed exactly that but, boy, am I glad that I get to write a different story today - canonically!

That story was edited so many times over the years, I can't even count and tbh I would have to edit it again with FB and all, but I won't. That's what it's got its sister for now.

(Honestly, feel free to ask further questions about this. I'm not sure I've still got the early versions, but I remember them so well lol.)

[riridontneedya]

Sapphire... (Pt 1)

Summary: (slight rant) life has been currently doing bits but we move! Anywho, breaking out the writing slump with amazing one shot ideas given to me, but would've been miles too long for one piece so now its in two segments. The stories follow up one another . Why are they called different things! I don't know I just felt like it and the jewel theme flowed following from "Emerald' which has the same vibe . Right also whilst this is a "Draco" one shot due to the nature of story so far I've not mentioned him by name...so if there's another blonde antagonist you fancy you could make that him lol.

I think "Ruby" (the continuation) is my fave of the two but you can decide for yourself. However don't play yourself and read both! . You'll thank me later for it lol! Cause tbh the best part about a good smut is the buildup!

Actual summary: Female Y/n reader and her best friend move to a new town.. follow along on her exciting encounters with a handsome stranger.

Pairing: Female reader x Modern day Draco

WARNINGS: Ive said it before and I'll say to again! If you forgo the warnings and you know you damn well you have no business reading it then thats on you DON'T DO IT! Mature adult themes , smut , Angst unprotected sex , Outdoors , Mature language , sexually explicit scenes.

Words: 2,490

A/NS: ENJOY! be sure to read both parts. As usual requests open! and let me know what you think! sending peace love and positivity to all xx

Time  seems to have this terrible habit of fleeting once it comes to  doing the things you love. But somehow it manages to come to a complete standstill when you’re somewhere you’d much rather not be. This was now the case for Y/n . Time was moving painstakingly slow , what had been only forty minutes had felt more equivalent to forty hours. She knew it a dramatic comparison yes.. but she couldn’t even pretend anymore  . Everything about this place sucked the life from her. Anxiously she sent a stream of texts to her friend Lucy alluding to leaving but she had yet to receive a response . Just then her phone pinged . Racing to read it she was sourly disappointed as Lucy made it abundantly clear she had no desire to leave anytime soon. Letting out a defeated groan she slumped back down into the crushed velvet settee. 

She had consumed a fairly large quantity of various drinks on offer but it wasn’t having the impact she so desired. It appeared the drunk stage was to be skipped altogether but the dull headache was to be welcomed with open arms. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy a good night out .  In fact she was particularly fond of them. It was just in simple terms tonight was .. well boring . Ever since they moved further afield and with Lucy starting a new job she was promptly recruited by a group of affluent socialites, and  their idea of fun was vastly different  from Y/ns and Lucys . As irksome as it was for y/n  she knew it was important for Lucy to make good impressions. So she set aside her reservations and traded in her wholesome fun filled nights for dimly lit swanky clubs with overpriced cocktails and vapid conversations.

The posse consisted of a fairly large group of both men and women , and much like any posse its incomplete without its ringleader .Y/n made it  exceptionally clear from the beginning  she had no desire of befriending the appointed ringleader who she found to be rather insufferable. As luck would have it the distaste for one another was mutual . So it came as no shock that she was to be ostracised from the group. Fortunately for Y/n she  remained  unfazed by these sort of ludicrous mind games, she could rest assured it wouldn’t be too long before her and Lucy would be in their kitchen laughing mockingly about them over a cup of tea .Fed up of the  doom scrolling she flung her phone into her  clutch and fastened the clasp. She was ready to call it a night, but she would find Lucy first and let her know. 

From across the room a man seemed to be peering at her from over his drink. From what y/n could see he was fairly tall with a broad frame encased in a black suit . The retched dim lights made it hard for her to notice any distinguishable features such as an eye colour perhaps but she did notice how icy blonde his hair was and how it was an absolute contrast against the sharp black suit. Despite the group surrounding him his interests did not lay with them his eyes fixated oh her. Overall intrigued at his unwavering eye contact she decided to shimmy closer. After all she intended to go in that direction to find Lucy. 

Upon closer inspection he appeared to be scowling , donning a look of disgust as if a bad stench rest under his nose. Bamboozled and quite petered she returned the glare with an eye roll for added embellishment  . Despite her retaliation he remained glaring , As she was closer now  she could now make out a his pale coloured eyes narrowing in on her scanning her up and down. What an earth is his problem! she thought, y/n had never seen this man before  so he had no right to be to so uncivil towards her, and if he were for some odd reason to have an issue she’d rather he be vocal about it. She wasn’t going to yell at him and cause a scene obviously , but she had little tolerance for this uncalled behaviour and wasn’t going to be made to feel like she did. Tossing her hair to the side she stormed pass him ensuring to curtly brush pass his shoulder, and make her way to Lucy. 

“In the infamous words of Kylie Jenner … rise and shine”  bellowed y/n as she tugged open Lucys curtains . Lucy violently tossed around cocooning herself in her duvet , attempting to shield her eyes from the sudden burst of sunlight flooding the room. “You dick , shut them now before I scalp you” she hissed. “Well aren’t you pleasant this morning” y/n laughed “ I heard you tumble in early this morning . How did it end up going last night ? ” Asked y/n handing Lucy a mug of tea. “Oh god, it was eventful for sure I’ll fill you in once I don’t feel as rough as fuck”. Y/n sniggered “Well a cocktail of drugs and alcohol will do that to you … but once I'm back I'm ready for the latest instalment of gossip!”

Y/n knew despite their appalling choices for nights out they were never short of drama usually instigated by someones idle gossiping. “Where you going ?” Lucy asked wearily. “Im off for a run first then, then I have that doctors appointment”. “Oh yeah you finally changed doctors , right well I’ll  see you later now close the curtains before you leave. If you want me to function properly I need a few hours to myself in a dark room”. “Yea yeah “ y/n chuckled as she walked back over to the other side of the room drawing the curtains. “Oh and on your way back feel free to pick me up a Maccies , thanks babes.” Giggled Lucy as she cosied up into her fortress of pillows. Y/n tossed her a playful glare as she headed out the door.

Y/n was finding it difficult to get into her rhythm with running. The lush green pastures and woods to run in were plentiful,  but she was yet to procure that perfect route. Y/n had overheard some locals saying there was a decent running spot nearby her house that veered off into the woods , so she was determined to give it a go today. Once she got into the woods it seemed to stretch for miles . Not wanting to run the risk of getting lost, she opted to keep tabs on the maps on her phone. As her attention was now on wrestling her phone from its holster and not on the path ahead it was no surprise when she collided head first into something. The force in which she hit the object caused her to ricochet off it. Fortunately for her there was a hand that found her wrist and firmly jolted her back to her feet.  “God , you really are just permanently glued to that damn phone!” came a deep voice.

Y/n looked up and gawped at the rude man who stood before her . The collision had knocked her for six and she had yet to come to her senses but she was adamant she’d seen him before. Thats when it dawned on her , the large frame ,  broad shoulders and pale eyes . But what had made it all come together was the tufts of ice blonde hair sticking out from underneath his baseball cap. Y/n immediately straightened up and placed her hands onto her hips. “Ahhh you’re that twat who was staring at me last night”. The blonde stranger cocked his head and once again his eyes bore into her with their  judgmental gaze. “Twat .. excuse me .. I should just let you eat the dirt you ungrateful shit”. Y/ns eyebrows shot up , she should’ve know he would’ve been the type to retaliate. “Well maybe you should’ve .. Id rather that than have you pass judgment about me or my phone habits”. The blonde stepped closer to y/n with his arms folded against his chest. Y/n could get a better look at him now, make out all his distinguishable features . Much to her infuriation he was rather handsome and the long sleeve shirt he had on was  on the tight side allowing the outline of his muscles to protrude. 

“Is this the part where you flip your hair and brush past me again , you don’t have to do all that next time if you’re wanting my attention darling”. “Attention” roared y/n mimicking his stance. “Don’t flatter yourself darling , God you're juvenile .. can’t communicate your feelings instead you bully the girls you’re interested in pathetic”. The blondes whole demeanour shifted . He unfurled his hands from his chest and began striding  towards y/n causing her to back into a tree. “You may of not wanted my attention but you sure as hell have it now … go on tell me more about how pathetic I am .. I dare you”. He snarled into the crook of her neck.  Y/ns pulse was erratic as his lip grazed her ear as he turned to look at her face. “Fuck you” y/n croaked. His eyes fell to her lips as he sported a sultry smirk. “Your place or mine darling” . “Ugh , no thank you I’d rather spare myself the disappointment” scoffed y/n  “Ouch” he placed his hand on his chest feigning upset . “Ill try not to take it to heart .. but if I remember rightly you assumed I was the one interested in you. “Im interested in you leaving me alone” she snapped .

With eyes still fixated on her lips he replied “Fine have it your way you little brat, maybe if you’d been fucked properly you wouldn’t be so uptight”. “Pssh ,You couldn’t make me cum even if your life depended on it”. “You sure about that sweetheart” he retorted sharply . “Try me!” .There was a devious gleam in his eye and with a swift movement he swivelled y/n so she faced the tree . His arm placed above her resting on it whilst his other arm wrapped around her middle. “If you want to act like a brat thats fine .. but be prepared for me to fuck you like one…” “go on tell me you want me right now and I'm all yours if not I'm leaving ”. The tension was palpable , The cool gravelly tone of his voice made y/ns blood run  with ferocity. Y/n could feel herself begin to buckle under his body weight . Moments ago she despised this arrogant blonde but there was something exhilarating about being taut against a tree deep in the woods by a handsome stranger. “Im waiting” . Acknowledging his responsiveness to antagonistic behaviour y/n replied mischievously with “Talk is cheap, lets see what you can really do” .

That appeared to be enough ammunition for him. He let out a hearty chuckled as he slammed her further up against the tree. Kicking apart her legs to his hand around her middle now crept into the waistband of her leggings and began to delve deeper “Are you not wearing any underwear … naughty girl” he groaned upon his discovery. Y/n let out a light chuckle as she began to moan against his teasing  touches. “Tell me have ever been  fucked against a tree hmm” just as she was about to reply he had penetrated her with his fingers. Y/ns head flayed backwards with a loud gasp at the sudden intrusion. She hadn’t had a chance to look at his hands but by the sensation of his fingers its clear they were fairly large. 

“Oh so you’re vocal both in and out of the bedroom… well woods” he sniggered beginning to increase the pace of his fingers. It wasn’t long before he could feel y/n begin to quiver around his fingers. Her moans grew louder and her body shuddered whilst she gripped onto the trees trunk for support  as she violently orgasmed over his pulsating fingers. “Good girl” he beamed, pulling his fingers from inside her he turned her to face him. Grabbing he by the forearms he hauled her in for an intensely passionate kiss.  Despite his fearsome demeanour his slow and searching  kisses told another story. Entranced by his kiss it was short lived as he peeled her away from him and slipped back into his authority figure role.

‘Get on your knees beautiful’. Happy to oblige she sank to her knees feeling the cool damp soil against them. His phallus was visibly strained against the fabric of his running shorts and eager to spring free. Disrobing his lower half she was greeted by his vein riddled cock , his length was spectacular and his tip throbbed and ached glistening with pre cum desperate for release. Taking him slowly into her mouth she began gracefully at the tip.

His breathing soon became staggered and with each breathe he took he couldn’t help but shuddered as her skilful tongue rotated around his shaft. He perched his hand on the tree in front for support whilst his other hand rested at the base of her head following the motion of her bobbing. Just as he closed his eyes, slowly  falling into a hypnotic trance, he felt a buzzing from his pocket. Despite his several attempts to disregard it , the ringing only became more and more  incessant.

Rather irate he apologised as he withdrew it from his pocket . He answered with a gruff ‘hello!” “Fuck sake .. are you joking… no no yes its fine I can be with you in within the hour … yes fine ill see you then”. He let out a laboured sigh as he began to tuck himself back into his shorts. “Im assuming that’s a girlfriend of some description” questioned y/n slowly rising back to her feet. He tossed her one of his signature glares she had become all too familiar with. “Err no, thank you very much .. its actually work related .. I only answered because I knew I was on call today .. Im usually quite lucky with avoiding it.. but sods law I guess”. Y/n raised her eyebrows. She couldn’t necessarily fault this mans story , she didn’t even know his name but she did feel rather irked about her time being cut short. “Look I’ve really gotta go angel , but that was amazing , we still have unfinished business so don’t you worry iIll be seeing you around” “oh and watch your step , ey” he winked planting a quick kiss on her forehead before taking back off down the trail. 

[irithnova]

Looking at her(?) post, myrddin is the incarnation of the stereotype of the american who thinks their country only do good vs the evils other dicatorships. I saw that post not long ago where she was talking about rusame fans and basically she saids it brushed her the wrong way that people where making content about this meanwhile russia is a pariah/mafia state waging a genocidal war since 2014 (or before if you go back to chechnya and georgia). Considering she lost a friend in ukraine it's understable that she has these feelings. The problem is that it became very hypocrite when someone pointed out that she don't gave a fuck about the countries her nation had destroyed and the thousands of civilians merely considered as collateral damage, (so it was kind of weird to ask people to cancel a country because they do horrible things but it surprisingly doesn't apply to your). And she answered by posting an article about a russian nationalist killed and called the poster a vatnik. adding the facts that often she post about nato that she considere a 100% peaceful organisation (hi libya and afhganistan who were NOT asked by UN),Usa (hi MeNa/LatAm), that people who posted about iraq war where russians trolls (no way it's people who gets hurt by us intervention, huh ?) everyone who disagree with her is paid by the kremlin and because usa are the 1st global power they should be kind of the world police. It looks like she just is an american nationalist who doesn't aknowledge that her country is as much of a terrorist state as russia, and the millions lives who gets destroyed are barely collateral damages(or they deserved it, these damn 7 yo jihadist).

Sorry for the long post and for the possible non-comprehension, english is not my first language and i wanted to talk about it without being treated as a russian agent.^^'

Disclaimer: Do not send threats to myrddin ffs

The myth of American benevolence and American exceptionalism is a plague lmao. Yeah as someone who's country (Philippines) was directly affected by American imperialism and who's suffering under American imperialism is constantly downplayed because of the myth of American exceptionalism I really don't appreciate any mention of America's imperialist reality being met with "YOU'RE A VATNIK! YOU'RE A RUSSIAN SPY!"

Yeah it's incredibly hypocritical to get mad at people for drawing hetalia Russia art because of the invasion of Ukraine but be completely fine with hetalia America art despite... Everything about America's imperialist legacy which persists to this day. The U.S helped implement a racial hierarchy system in the Philippines and the affects are still felt to this day. American imperialism/interventionism is still tearing people lives apart.

I do sympathise with the fact that they've lost a friend in Ukraine - that's terrible. However that doesn't mean that in some sort of logical sequence it then justifies running around with a blindfold on trying to ignore America's faults.

I admit that I get annoyed myself when people woobify Russia too much because surprise - I'm not a fan of the Russian state either (I despise it) despite the vatnik accusations, and I've been quite vocal about my distaste for their actions myself, but unless the content is crossing the line into Russian (or American) imperialist apologia, it's just content that annoys me/is annoying at the end of the day and that's that. By their logic they should not be America posting then? They hate rusame art/content because of Russian imperialism but... Nothing about American imperialism?

But wait - the U.S and NATO have done nothing wrong, right? And anyone and everyone who levels well founded criticisms at them MUST be being paid off by the Kremlin, right? Including people whose families' lives, countrymen's lives, and even own lives who were ripped apart due to their actions? Right?

Their lived experiences = Russian agent now I guess.

The fact that it got to the point where myrddin defended what they thought was a Ukrainian using "Mongol" as an insult towards Russians because I said it was racist/had it's basis in Nazi eugenicist science and that it should not be tolerated, and accused me of spreading Russian propaganda of "Ukrainians being Nazis"... Yeah myrddin, you're just racist lol. The fact that they had the gall to make (really bad) posts about hetalia Mongolia beforehand too. The gall of it all.

Considering English isn't your first language - if you sent an ask into Myrddin anyways they'd probably point that out and laugh at you. Because they're like that (saying this because they've explicity made fun of a LatAms grammar before when they sent in criticism) I guess.

If you're so American imperialist brainrotted that it comes to that, please get the fuck off my blog.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Trolls Band Together

At long, long last. After 45 fucking movies of insanely varying quality, I've reached the end of the Dreamworks watch. So, what kind of a note did we go out on here on the third installment of the Trolls franchise? Well...

Back in the day, Branch and his older brothers, John Dory, Spruce, Clay, and Floyd, made up the popular boy band BroZone, until a tension-driven split up. In the present, Floyd has been captured by pop star wannabes Velvet and Vaneer, who are using his essance to make themselves more talented. So it's up to the other brothers to "band together" to save him, and while along for the ride, Poppy happens to reunite with her long lost older sister, Viva. So yeah, lots of shit going on. And that's... kind of the problem.

The first two Trolls movies were relatively simple and pretty focused for what they are. But Band Together just has... way too much happening in it. Namely, way to many damn family reunions happening in it. I've joked before about how Dreamworks only knows how to tell a handful of stories, and the family reunion plot is one they always seem to come back to. This movie is a huge testament to that, with both Branch and Poppy reuniting with estranged/lost familiy members. And it's... a tad forced, not gonna lie.

The overall theme of family is absolutely heavy handed in this, from Branch and his bros having to learn to be both a band and brothers again, to Poppy and Viva reconnecting and learning how different they actually are, to even some sibling drama between Velvet and Vaneer. And its... a lot. It's just too much going on all at once and it feels... overwhelming, especially since they're also trying to throw non stop jokes and pop songs at you. As a result, you get a movie that's just... way too busy for its own damn good.

As for our characters, well our returning cast is still pretty fun, and I was really happy to see the Bergans return (Gristle and Bridget's honeymoon subplot was the best part of the movie by far). Our new characters are kind of hollow, none of them getting too terribly much focus. Like Branch's brothers are fine, I didn't hate any of them, but I felt like I wasn't too compelled to care about them either. Same for Viva who... did kind of grate the nerves a bit, she's basically just Poppy 2.0 and I can only handle so much of Poppy anyway.

As for our villains, Velvet and Vaneer are... ok. They're the usual fame-obssessed diva trope, and I do appreciate how they do give Vaneer a bit of an arc and a concious, but idk... I wanted more of them? Their designs are fun and they do have some really funny moments, but because there was so much else going on, I feel like we really just didn't see as much from them as we should have.

I had no complaints from the animation, though I do appreciate them continuing to push the arts and crafts vibes of the world (the water is literally orbeez i love that). The music is, well, its Trolls. Ya'll know what to expect form Trolls. Pop songs until the cows come home. And they're... fine. I kinda tend to space out whenever one of them starts, but they're fine.

Overall, this movie as a whole is... fine. Exceptionally mid, and I'd absolutely say its the weakest out of the Trolls trilogy. It just lacks... something that the first two had, some sort of charm or thought or pacing or... control even. Idk how to properly explain what's wrong with this movie, man, something just feels off. Which is why it's such a shame to end the Dreamworks marathon off on a mid note like this, but hey, at least I'm not ending it off on the same shit tier note I started it off with Antz. That's gotta count for something right?

But until next time (or whenever there are more Dreamworks movies to review idk), (*blows kiss to the sky*) for Dreamworks. You fucking wonderful, terrible, baffling, beautiful studio you.

Overall Rating: 5/10

Verdict: Trip so hard you wind up in another animation style entirely

Previous Review (Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken)

[chibivesicle]

If you could fix Trigun Stampede or write an alternate version of it that stays truer and more faithful to the 98 anime and the manga, not just visually but emotionally, philosophical and symbolically, how would you? Given how your in depth analyses and in general reading it to filth, I would love to know how you would fix it or rewrite it!

Hello and thanks for the question!

Sorry for the slow response, I've been busy and distracted by other shiny objects (Kekkai Sensen) to get back to this. I still haven't had time to really answer another ask but I hope to get to it in a week or so. As far as Trigun Stampede, I felt it had issues in the following areas: 1.) Technical skill surpassed all other aspects of the production. They put all their eggs in making it look very good. Which it does. I found out from the Sakuracon panel, that they spent two years working on animating the faces. Kudos for that level of work but if you write a poor story it doesn't matter how emotional they look. 2.) Paradoxical pacing. Twelve episodes were not enough to capture the original Trigun manga nor '98 anime. The '98 anime added establishing content to extend the limited manga chapters which helped to give the viewers Meryl as their entry point. It also had great pacing. Intro, build up, tension and resolution either in each episode or in two part episodes.

3.) Total emphasis of style over substance. This was the the worst part of it. They assumed making things look pretty would suffice and did not write individual episodes well or the full twelve. And since they were only working with twelve the story did not have time to just be and let us enter the world because of the paradoxical pacing. 4.) Generic character designs for the contemporary eye. In their attempt to make the characters look more 'normal' they lost the unique style of Yasuhiro Nightow's original designs. His characters are exceptionally stylized in a distinct way and they completely redid them. We also know that other studios can adapt his characters much more like in the original work both with the '98 anime and Kekkai Sensen. Madhouse and Bones anime-stylized the characters a bit for anime but not by that much compared to what Orange did. Milly is still large and clumsy in the anime, while Vash is super contorted at times. Wolfwood is still angular and Meryl still has that soft short stature. In KS, Klaus is still a giant gentleman, Leo is still dodging chaos, Chain is cool and distant, K. K. still has her confident stride, and Steven's posture is still terrible. I can watch the '98 anime and Kekkai Sensen and know that these characters were designed by Nightow. Looking at Stampede, I cannot tell by looking at them.

5.) Weak characters. Another point the Sakuracon panel noted was that the creative team spent five years developing Stampede. I can't help but feel like they wasted their energy. They came up with all this lore and information for their own version of No Mans Land - and then never tied it together. Studio Orange got lost in the weeds and never really figured out what they wanted to make or say. They also relied on characters info dumping and blatantly telling us what they are doing. That is not how Trigun or Kekkai Sensen work as stories. It is up to you to figure out what the characters are doing, why they are doing it and how to interpret their actions.

The characters were unclear in their motivations, there was no intro, mystery or payoff. After twelve episodes in, we still don't know what Rem told Vash that he has his technical pacifist philosophy. We know she told them that she loved them and she was happy to know them and that they should take care of each other. But why was Rem with Project Seeds? Why did she believe all life was sacred? Why was your ticket to the future blank?

Vash was far to passive but never said why and was not a gunslinger. Which was pretty much key to his skill and why he was infamous. Even before the July incident he was an excellent gunslinger and Western drifter. Wolfwood was meh, his natural people skills from the manga were completely gone. He was not only a trained killer but he was a natural people person and tried to be compassionate when possible. Meryl was two years older than in the manga/'98 anime and far less experienced. Yes, she was smart and by the book but so weak. Roberto was useless. He did not serve the plot. How would I have done Stampede? 1.) Trigun Maximum emphasis. Incorporate more of the manga into the anime, but cutting out some of the wandering chapters which did not serve the plot other than for some hard to follow action scenes. They lifted some elements from Maximum, but parts I was never a fan of e.g. the late introduction of the fact that Wolfwood was likely in his early 20s but will be debated until the end since his own backstories and timelines in the manga are inconsistent. My point is that Wolfwood's timeline is a hot mess.

Instead, they could have streamlined some of the fuzzy hand waving science and odd timelines for characters like Wolfwood and Livio. What they did was lean in hard to the rapidly aging aspect of things so as far as I can tell, Wolfwood is like 13 in Stampede?

They added in Elendira the Crimsonnail but made her a child who manifests nails from the air. Um, sure. If she is a she at all or genderless or nonbinary. The point is, she is not an adult trans woman with excellent fashion taste.

Added in the missing civilians from the original work. As others have commented, Stampede is a very empty world. There are no normal people. The entire point was that there were lots of normal people living their lives on the planet. They are completely absent. There are barely any civilians to protect since they aren't there. The design of the cities and towns for this were also weak. Yes, they needed plants, but most of the cities grew around the ships and dwarfed them. December was a full city with a downtown, high rise buildings and public transit. Stampede is just a weird tribute to Dune or something like that.

There was the potential to take the original anime, add in the key points of Maximum and it would have been an awesome anime.

2.) Had a clear story line for all twelve episodes and then for each individual episode. The storytelling for Stampede was an utter disaster. The terrible pacing, the inability to show characters through their actions, their lack of rational thoughts from time to time. The bad science; e.g. a town with only windmills but no solar panels. No knowledge of plants and photosynthesis? What the hell were these people eating? Apparently, they came up with worm related lore in their brainstorming sessions, but if you DON'T put that in the actual anime, we won't know that.

Too many things were like "Oh wow, look perfect timing! Always!" Dude, no. Part of the original was how timing wasn't perfect and characters slogged around for months trying to reconnect.

I think Vash being a little more upfront about his rationale to try to avoid violence would help and if he did it with his gun like in the originals. It makes his skill even better and more appreciated and highlights how he does not shoot to kill. Even though this series started with the backstory with him and Knives, Rem's moral code was not outlined. Thus, we don't know why Vash does what he does due to Rem and her influence on him.

Wolfwood was terrible, lacking all of his charm, personable attitude and willingness to sacrifice and be critical. He just comes off as a dick. Honestly, all they needed to do was make him more friendly and call out Vash for faking it like in the original. Meryl would have been better like her original with more experience and Milly as her junior. Nightow writes excellent female characters who aren't uwu/waifu types. They are women who are competent, have strengths and flaws and hopes and dreams. They are not there for you to dream about them fawning over you and acting on your every beck and call. Instead, they likely could kill you. Or at least really hurt you. They are not sexualized, nor fan service. They are just women and the men are just men. I'm not saying they aren't attractive - Meryl is still cute, Milly is dapper, Chain is curvy, K. K. is fashionable. But that isn't the defining aspect of their characters.

3.) Kept the character designs closer to the originals. In a saturated media landscape where so many anime look the same and generic, the style of the original would have stood out. Keep that lanky angular style of the original. Have those dramatic poses which showed so much about each character. I mean, they could have updated them and ditched the '90s eyes through chunky hair bit. Also, by changing Wolfwood from being a priest/preacher much of his internal moral conflict is lost. Along with the jokes which were classics by this point. With so many people not knowing the original, the jokes would have been unknown and fresh to newer viewers.

4.) Made the series 24 episodes with 12 per season. This really would have helped the series out big time. Instead of the oft critiqued terrible pacing, do what so many other series do now; split up what used to be a single season into two parts. It would have allowed for more downtime, lingering shots, characterization through interactions with the normal people. Vash playing with children. Eating donuts. Pancakes. Wolfwood giving up his food. Meryl writing reports and trying to be emotionally distant. Milly helping Wolfwood in a fight. Many of the micro-moments of characters were lost, but these help us to understand them and how they will react through very basic set up. Madhouse did not have a blockbuster budget for Trigun but it didn't matter when they set the tone up right.

They had too many blink and you will miss it moments. The this is not a problem with manga since you look at each panel individually. The original anime allowed for much better establishing shots as well as lingering on things to make it clear what that thing was. Kuroneko-sama is obvious in all the episodes, in the OP and ED and nyas (she has an entire track of 'nya' on the second donuts OST). Well, I would have made sure she does that in Stampede. I don't want it to be some sort of cryptid moment in the corner of the screen. Especially, since Kuroneko-sama still appears in the KS extras even bonding with Steven. Oh, yeah, and all the time in the KS anime; on the street in Hellsalem's Lot. Crossing the street in HL. With a monster jar stuck on her head that crashes into Leo. In the ED of B3 & Beyond.

Sure, Studio Orange put Sonic in there but the level of Kuroneko-sama in KS is much higher than KS in Stampede.

A longer series would have also allowed for more of the humor to come through. Trigun has ample slapstick/zany/situational humor that was lost in Stampede. Stampede took itself too seriously. Due to that, they never could turn off the serious mode. But even tough situations elicit humor. In the manga, Wolfwood explains how he doesn't die to Vash more or less but lays down to sleep. Vash then has a full on panic and Wolfwood is beyond pissed - since he's just trying to sleep. Even when Wolfwood is about to die, he cracks a joke with Vash in the manga.

Nightow clearly has a dark and sarcastic sense of humor at times. That could have come through in it and it was lost - to be serious. It is natural for people to crack jokes in absolutely terrible situations and Nightow loves to do this. If the Kekkai Sensen anime took out all of the sarcastic/dry/quips of the cast it would be so terrible. That is what happened to Stampede. They went full on serious sci-fi but forgot about the plot, characters and motivations.

5.) Included the strong religious undertone. Correctly. Much of the Christian and Buddhist themes were lost in Stampede. Why does Vash cling to an impossible ideal/moral code? The role of suffering and turning that other cheek. The creepy accurate angel designs for the plants. How Vash and Knives were of a virgin birth of angelic beings with one falling from grace. The oodles of Catholic guilt that trapped Wolfwood and Vash. But trapped Wolfwood more. Why do people have different lines they can and cannot cross? What is right? What is justice?

All we got in Stampede were crosses mixed with a zia (perhaps) and concept art of the Eye of Michael where all the women are hotties. This goes 100% against the modesty of the original and the lack of fan service. Nightow does not draw his characters to be hot nor does he want to put in relationships - especially with Trigun. Kekkai Sensen has only one known relationship, K. K. and her husband. Which is great, but we aren't there to examine their relationship. Instead, K. K.'s family motivate her to do her job and protect them.

I should really wrap this up as it has gotten far too long. However, what happened with Stampede is Studio Orange likely got so into making their mark on the series and giving it a new angle that they lost track of how to make it work. What story makes sense? How do you depict your characters? What type of pacing do you use for a twelve episode show which may or may not get more episodes?

If it really were in development for five years, I can't help but think Covid-19 really messed up some of their work and why things ended up disjointed. Or they had too many people involved or too much input and tried to include it all. Whatever actually happened, they needed a tighter linear story and consistent vision. Which they lacked.

[velvetvexations]

Reading the sequel to Zen at War now, Zen War Stories, and literally the paragraph after a Zen master and former soldier talks about becoming a pacifist he says he "firmly believes" Nanjing didn't happen.

Oh, but he concedes that "there may have been a little trouble with the women" because "it was wartime".

I've often wondered if and when someone will say I'm fashy for fixating on Imperial Japan despite how much I clearly judge it as both exceptionally evil even sharing the stage with Nazi Germany and ran by complete clowns who had no idea what they were doing. This is the first time I've felt a truly visceral disgust with the subject, though. Like not a moral judgement per say, I've made enough of those and will make many more in the future, just absolutely withering contempt.

I'm also annoyed because there's an old CollegeHumor video where a German character says "we made so many mistakes during the war! terrible, terrible, tactical mistakes!" and that's exactly what this guy is doing now lmao. Brain Victoria, the author of ZaW and ZWS, briefly talked with him before being sent his autobiography for use as research, and it was very touching because they had both started crying in the middle of it. That really hooked me, but, as Victoria goes on to say:

Upon reading Genjō’s words, I could not help but feel deeply disappointed. This disappointment stemmed from the realization that while I and Genjō had shed tears together, we were crying about profoundly different things.

Also very happy he proceeds to excoriate the shit out of the Nanjing comment.

[flowwochair]

Hi, I've only recently come across your art and wanted to thank you for sharing - in particular for the napoleonic marshals. 💖Also, you've mentioned in a recent post that you had found out that Soult was an exceptionally unlucky person. Could you please elaborate on that? I've become increasingly interested in Soult over the last years myself. Thanks a bunch for all information in advance!

Hi, tysm!!! I always get nervous when sharing my art so it's nice to hear that people enjoy it ^-^

Regarding Soult, it's mostly that I've noticed a pattern whenever I read stories about either his personal life or military life in which a series of coincidences or unprecedented events somehow combine and lead to him suffering unfortunate consequences 😭😭 I've read of situations like this so often at this point that I just kinda feel bad for him, be it some terrible coincidence happening to him during a hunt, or one of the many chaotic situations he had to deal with in Spain, sometimes I think maybe his bad luck is why he became such a hardened and somewhat distant person. Basically every time I find out some new story about him it's one that ends in disaster (I'm not sure if that just happens to be a coincidence that painted him as an unlucky person in my mind, but it's just so often that it stuck out to me), I would name specific examples off the top of my head but I have very poor memory 😭😭 I just remember reading about his part in the peninsular war in particular and thinking "man this guy really can't catch a break", whenever he accomplished something it would be undone very shortly afterwards, I felt bad 😭😭

[theonlyadawong]

Idk if you've played it yet but what'd you think of separate ways? 👁️👁️

:D

Short Answer: I really liked it!!!! Seeing Ada's relationships with Luis and Wesker get more fleshed out was great!

Long Answer (and I do mean long) below hehe

Okay so first things first, her outfit is so ridiculous it's not even funny. I know this has been a common critique since we first saw it, but seeing just her ripping and running in those boots really hammered it in. There's no fucking way she went to Spain in those heels. No fucking way. I thought she looked exceptionally stupid in her original 4 outfit, and I feel the same now.

Loved seeing hookshot being used to fight!!! Amazing!!! I loved it! This also made me wonder if Ada's left arm is fucked up from using it so much.

"What terrible actions will be done in its name, and who will pay it's dark cost? Because in this world, someone always pays. Best not to ask who or why. I understood that. Made my piece with it. Until that one night in Raccoon City... changed everything" YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA AMAZING! AMAZING! LOVELY! (the "dark cost" line is incredibly goofy but it gets the point across) IMMACULATE LINE!

I really enjoyed how the game made it Very Clear that Ada does not fucking like Wesker. The "nicest" lines she has to him aren't even nice, they're just her trying to appease him so she can get off her fucking back.

That being said, I greatly appreciate how

I really like how they handled her being infected, frankly I was expecting her to go through the same thing Leon did, so this was nice!

Frankly, the scene where Wesker saves Ada is so utterly ridiculous to me. You're telling me that Wesker, a white supremacist who has plans of genocide, risked his life to save a woman of color who he doesn't trust and doesn't fucking like? Not likely.

Also Ada waking up in a bed was Strange. Very Strange. Didn't like it one bit. And even if it wasn't strange... you're telling me wesker cared enough about Ada to take her all the way upstairs to a bed? No... no he would have dropped her on a couch or something. Maybe even the floor! Saving Ada and carrying her to the bed imply Wesker cares for her... which is weird... because the game shows us many times that he doesn't.

It was just very strange and frankly I can't give you a good reason why he needed to be there at all. It feels like they just wanted to make the most out of the Wesker model they no doubt poured an assload of money into.

"Easy with the threats, Wesker" <- literally one of my favorite lines from seperate ways.

I LOVED THE LASER ROOOOOOOOM AAAAAH!!!! I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!!

The Ashley scene was unexpected, I thought the shot of her in the trailer was a misdirection, but no she and Ada had like 20 seconds together. This brings me to a question I've had for MONTHS!!! In 4r, Ashley sees Ada clear as day... so when she goes back to the states and gets interrogated... what happens with that? It's not like before when it was only Leon who saw her and he could just erase her from the reports, both he and Ashley are gonna have to admit they did get help... so what do they say? I Would Like To Know.

And finally another terrible part was when the dlc ended with Wesker and I was suddenly hit with the realization that they for sure are gonna remake 5. Which. I always knew would happen but please I can't deal with that (though I do believe 5 is one of the games that actually needs a remake. Because. Um. Well just look at it)

Another thing I appreciated was that they made it abundantly clear that Leon wasn't even close to being her priority. They are quite literally two people going their Seperate Ways (ba-dum tss.) Not only that, but (and this might totally be me) every time Leon was talking to her I just had to roll my eyes, because now I know the full context of what Ada was doing, so everything Leon was saying to her felt like bullshit lmao.

Reading all of this makes it seem like I didn't like it at all lmao, but no, these are just my critiques lol.

OH! ALSO! Not to promote "Ada should have her own game where she's a lead without leon" propaganda... but... well this version of seperate ways made it Very Clear she can do her own thing without that white parasite!!!

Ummmm I think that's everything... if it isn't I can promise you you'll see me talk about it hehehehe

[frauleinandry]

just finished the repaint your heart dlc! i still had fun with it, but ultimately i enjoyed it a lot less than the main story. tbh, unless you're a huge - and i mean huge - princekechi and kasumi fan, or are really interested in guernica, i probably wouldn't bother with it. it's pretty short (i completed it in less than 5 hours doing all the content), and it was less enjoyable to play than the main game.

my full analysis is under the cut - note, it contains end-game spoilers!!

if you've read my main story tactica review, you'd know one of the reasons i loved it was because it wasn't just a persona Q game with a genre shift, and avoided all of the plot/story issues associated with that spinoff series. repaint your heart's narrative, on the other hand, has all the tropes that make persona Q bad, without having any of the things that make it good.

i know literally everyone and their mum has complained about this, but i am baffled on why atlas didn't set repaint your heart during the third semester. like... there is literally no point in hiding royal spoilers anymore. the game has been out for four years. the media restrictions have been dropped. literally No One who isn't already a persona 5 fan is going to play tactica, let alone buy its dlc.

setting repaint your heart during the third semester would have worked fine plot-wise too. have it so akechi's investigating guernica's work on a whim, and make it so jerri wants to break maruki's hold on reality and destroy the world because no human should have such power. there. problem solved.

admittedly, kasumi as a character isn't too bad. i obviously would have preferred sumire, who has a criminal lack of screen time where she's actually herself, but at least the dlc's story is personal for her either way because she intimately knows what it's like to lose a sister even when she's actualised.

akechi, on the other hand, suffers from being stuck in his prince mode a lot more, and with the exception of a couple of funny moments where he got dunked on, might as well have just been a piece of cardboard. he has no personal stakes in luca and guernica's story whatsoever. quite frankly, it would have been better if he was replaced by makoto, given her issues with sae (especially during that point in persona 5 canon, when their relationship is at its worst).

what makes akechi's overall non-importance exceptionally annoying is that if the dlc was set during the third semester, he actually would have some parallels with guernica/jerri!! like, he'd totally relate to wanting to ignite the world in fury so it burns itself down to the ground, but he'd also have the wisdom to know that that's a terrible idea. akechi could have been motivated by his desire to prevent guernica from turning into another him, but he wasn't, and that is such a missed opportunity.

the OCs and their storyline are probably the strongest part of repaint your heart's narrative. admittedly, it was nowhere near as impactful as toshiro's plot due to its short length, but luca's second death was pretty emotional, and the final boss fight was satisfying. i do find it funny though that tactica's main story and dlc both feature a cognition of a dead relative who dies in front of someone again in order to make them regain the memories of their original version's death. if i had a nickel, and all that jazz.

while i've mainly been bitching about the dlc's story so far, i've got some gripes with the gameplay too. while i did enjoy the increased difficulty (quite frankly, the main story's hard mode should have been on par with it), the painting mechanic makes the battles feel a lot less well-crafted. like, the main story missions feel like puzzles you need to solve, and just flow, for a lack of a better word. the painting effect though makes elements like positioning a lot less effective, so on the whole i felt like i was just brute forcing my way through the levels instead of taking advantage of my surroundings.

still, for all my complaints, repaint your heart definitely isn't all bad! the art direction is great, and guernica's character design in particular is fantastic. not to mention, there is one thing the dlc does substantially better than the main game...

... namely, the music. i absolutely loved royal's and striker's soundtracks, but in comparison, I found tactica's somewhat... underwhelming? not bad by any means, but there wasn't a single song that stood out. repaint your heart has some absolute bangers though - the night we stood is a fantastically catchy battle theme, and quiet storm is literally one of my favourite songs in the franchise. listening to it after the backstory reveal makes it hit so differently.

anyway, that's all from me - on the whole, i still think tactica's a great but overpriced game, though i really hope atlas learns from all the criticisms of the dlc, and makes akechi and sumire their actual selves next time they're included in a game.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

An Oyster's Pearl

Fandom: DC Comics

Summary: Shortly after moving in with Joseph Wilson, Grant Wilson makes friends with a fellow pledge for a fraternity. During this time, Grant grapples with realizations about his childhood trauma, his sexuality, and his relationships with his father and siblings.

Chapters: 5/?

Characters: Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Rose Wilson, Dick Grayson, Slade Wilson, William Randolph Wintergreen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: Grant Wilson/Original Character, DickJoey

Additional Tags: University AU, No Capes AU, Angst, Deaf Joseph Wilson, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Grant Wilson has a Sexuality Crisis, Frat Boy Grant Wilson

Chapter Five: Stable

I got up at five and met the guys at the Tau Psi house. The president was there, and he took count of all the pledges. Ken bumped into me and offered me a cup of coffee. He had a cup holder with two coffees, so I took one. "They're both espressos with chocolate," Ken whispered.

"Thanks," I replied, "I'm gonna tell you right now if they start hazing us, I'm out of here." Ken chuckled.

"Nah, this school's pretty tame. It'll probably be some dumb initiation stuff and drinking games," Ken replied, "But yeah, I get you."

The president stood at the top of the steps and told us to pair up. Ken and I stood still and watched as the crowd of men paired up. A guy in a Tau Psi sweatshirt gave each of us a snap bracelet with a number written on it. "Lucky thirteen," I grinned. Ken smiled a half-smile.

"Lucky thirteen," Ken repeated.

"Now that everyone has their number, I expect to see you guys together at all times unless you're in class," the president announced, "That includes the gym, the store, your dorms or apartments... And trust me, we'll be watching." Ken looked at me.

"Well... It looks like I'll be crashing with you and your brother," Ken whispered. I nodded, but something inside me felt weird. "Can we go get my stuff?"

"Okay, yeah... When's your next class?" I asked. It wasn't until noon, so I walked with him to his dorm. His side of the room was perfect. I stood in the doorway while he packed a few days' worth of clothes and books into his duffel. "Your room smells nice..." Small talk. I was exceptionally terrible at it.

"My roommate hates it. It's my cologne. I can barely smell it now," Ken replied. I found it hard to believe. The smell of wood and leather filled the room and spiced something else. "Grant... Do you see my laptop and charger? It's the one with the blue sticker."

I unplugged the charger from the wall and gave him his laptop. My hand brushed his, and I didn't pull away as quickly as I probably should've. His eyes darted from the computer and met mine, and he smiled at me. Something in me didn't want to pull away when he looked at me, but I had to. It was weird. It should've been weird. "Hey... Um... Have you had breakfast yet?" I asked. He shook his head. I finally managed to let go of his hand.

"No, why did you have something in mind?" Ken asked. I nodded.

"My brother gets up for school in a little bit, so I'll probably make breakfast. Eggs, bacon... That kind of stuff," I replied. Ken grinned.

"Can't wait," Ken replied. He zipped his duffel and let out a sigh. "Well, I think I'm all packed."

I drove him back to Joey and I's apartment. "My pullout is comfortable-. I mean-."

Ken laughed and shook his head. "No, I get what you mean. This is a nice-. How many roommates do you have?" Ken questioned.

"Just my brother... Why?" I asked.

"Dick Grayson doesn't live with you?" Ken questioned.

"How do you know Dick Grayson?" I asked. "Also, he's my brother's boyfriend. He stayed over. Morning, Dick. You can stay for breakfast if you want." I didn't look up at him.

Dick stepped over and looked me in the eye. His hair was wet, and he looked painfully uncomfortable. "Thanks for not letting our personal stuff get in the way of what I've got with your brother... I was worried that it'd be an issue," Dick whispered.

"He likes you. That's all that matters," I replied, "Thanks for making him so happy..." I felt like I had to say something nice to ease the tension. It's what Joey would've liked me to do.

"Hi, Dick," Ken smiled.

"I didn't see you yesterday at the gym. Everything okay?" Dick asked. Ken nodded.

"I was there a little earlier than usual, but I might be at the gym this afternoon," Ken replied, "We're also pledging this week, and the frat wants Grant and me tied at the hip. Initiation stuff."

I stepped away to wash up and make breakfast, meeting eyes with Joey as he left his room. His hair was a mess. "Slut," I joked, and he gave me the finger. I opened the fridge, opened a pack of sausages, and threw them in the oven.

"Can I have home fries? I'll cut them up," Joey offered. I nodded. "Your friend moving in?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "Fraternity wants us paired up at all times except for classes or sports. So, he's only here until the end of the week," I replied, "That's Ken, by the way."

Joey nodded. "Oh, I know, Ken. He's cute... Nice jaw, good build, tight-."

"Hey, chill," I replied. Joey chuckled, and I shook my head. "Don't make this weird."

Joey washed his hands and started peeling potatoes. It shut him up long enough for me to think of something else. Something not related to Ken. I sat across from Joey at the counter and tapped his wrist. "About our argument the other night-."

"Water under the bridge, Grant. I get it. You aren't ready, and I don't think I am, either. I texted him the other day, and it didn't feel right yet," Joey confessed.

"You texted Slade?" I asked. Joey nodded. "You talked to him?"

"No, he replied, but I haven't said anything back. I didn't know what to say," Joey replied. I nodded. I didn't have anything else to say.

"Wait, how do you and your boyfriend know Ken?" I signed.

"He's in gymnastics with Dick," Joey answered. He had that stupid shit-eating grin on his face again.

"Whatever you know that I don't... Keep it to yourself, Joe," I replied, "I don't wanna know unless he wants to tell me." Joey's smile faded.

"Are you sure?" Joey questioned. I nodded.

Dick came by and kissed Joey before letting himself out. It was the perfect distraction. Joey was so busy gushing about his boyfriend that he didn't notice me returning to our eggs. Ken sat next to Joey and started talking.

I turned around and waved a hand to stop him. I stomped on the wood floor, and Joey looked up. "Ken's talking to you," I explained. Joey nodded and shook his hand.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" Joey asked. I interpreted it out loud.

"Oh, I was saying I know Dick from gymnastics, and I've seen you around," Ken explained. Joey smiled and nodded.

"Pommel horse, right?" Joey asked.

"Oh, I got that one," Ken smiled, "And yeah. I used to vault until I fractured my tailbone. It put me out for an entire season."

I took the food out of the oven and made my plate. "Food's done," I announced.

We made our plates, and I joined them with my breakfast. Meals were almost always quiet. I think that confused Ken. "Joey, you didn't wanna pledge?" Ken questioned.

"I'm already part of a frat," Joey answered.

"Gamma Rho," I added.

"Progressive," Ken replied. No sarcasm. "I hear they're kind of wild over there, though."

"Once you guys get in Tau Psi, you should drop by a Gamma Rho party," Joey invited us. I shook my head.

"If my brother invites you to a party, just know you're probably gonna end up hungover for a week," I warned. Ken laughed.

"Lightweight," Joey teased.