#I've been writing too much and it is so hard to write
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nicverse · 2 days ago
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crawling back to you
where jason can't stop coming back to you every night.
jason todd x journalist!reader
warnings: small mention of blood and wounds. just a little bit of fluff.
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You were too busy writing your next article about the last incident in Gotham, too focused on the sound of your fingers against the keyboard that you didn’t even notice Jason’s body slipping behind you, resting his body on your couch.
It had been a long, long night. He was tired and probably didn’t have a good night's sleep for weeks, so as soon as his head touched the soft material of your couch, he dozed off.
His own apartment had been long forgotten since the first time he entered yours. Yours was full of life, small little cosy lights instead of the cold ones he had, lots of books and music records you loved to play when you were cooking. Everything was so nice and warm, like you. Jason always told himself he kept coming back to your place because he just loved the good decoration it had, but mostly, he loved the person who was living there.
He really loved the pretty thing that was sitting in front of him, quickly writing on her laptop.
You didn’t notice his presence until you stood up from your desk and saw his body passed out on your couch. Your heart jumped in your chest as your soul left your body for a few seconds, you were not yet used to his late night appearances in your house. You walked very slowly towards his face, gently removing his mask as your fingers slowly caressed his face. He had a few deep cuts but the worst one was in his brown; an ugly, deep cut that started to bleed a little.
You went for your aid kit. It wouldn’t be the first time you stitched him up and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Your fingers lingered against his skin carefully, starting to clean his wounds.
Jason was a light sleeper, so he noticed your presence as soon as you touched his skin, but he didn’t open his eyes. He felt your fingers taking care of his face so carefully as if he would break. His heart started to pound like a horse running, so hard that he was afraid that you would feel it too.
Your hand was a rose petal cleaning the skin of a killer, and the worst part was that he didn’t even flinch. He just closed his eyes and relaxed in the warmth of your body close to his. Jason never thought he was worthy of so much love, especially you, a broken body like his would never be able to get better.
But you made him believe otherwise. From the first time you took him in your arms and cleaned his wounds he knew deep down that maybe there was hope for him to be better.
"I know you are awake, Jason," you murmured with a chuckle, patching up his wounds. "You're the worst light sleeper I've ever met," Jason opened his eyes to find your pretty face looking down on his as your body knelt beside your couch, "You don't have to patch me up, you know," he replied, biting his cheek to stop the smile that threatened to appear on his face.
He never wanted you to stop patching him up, though. Every night, he would crawl back to you and seek your warmth.
"I know, but I want to," you said, fixing the hair that covered his face. Your eyes pinned in his, no, you didn’t look at the scars in his body, you never looked at him with fear or anger but it was always love and affection.
He wanted to kiss you so badly, to hold you close and never let go, to feel your soft embrace melt into his.
But he couldn't. He didn’t want you to get involved in his world or in his life, not because he didn’t love you, it was because he loved you so much that he wanted to keep you away from his problems— from him.
“Just sleep a bit, Jason, your eyebags make you look like a raccoon” you passed him a blanket, his favorite “could say the same ‘bout you, princess” Jason responded as you rolled your eyes.
"Good night, Red Hood," you said as your body disappeared in the door to your bedroom.
Maybe he should be keeping away from you, but he didn’t want to— not anymore.
—there's something about this type of jason, he loves you buy is too afraid to fuck everything up. yet he can't stop craving your love!
—this is something i took out of the fic im writing about jason x journalist!reader and I love these two already
—i'd love to do requests! feel free to ask them <3
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wangxianficrecs · 12 hours ago
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Rewind 2024 - A few more recs...
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WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2024
Before the year ends, here are a few more recs of stories of 2024 that found their way into our inbox! I wish you all a Happy New Year and hope, that we can discover lots of fun fanfics next year as well! - Kay
Follower Recs
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Think I've missed the 2024 Rewind follower recs but I've been absolutely loving this story!
WIP Modern Cultivators AU where WWX and LWJ have just agreed to a betrothal contract - for supposedly purely political reasons but in actuality because they fell hard and fast for each other during the prior fic in the series. POV switches between the two of them as they face up to (and increasingly embrace) the concept of being cared for and loved for being exactly who they are. Beautiful writing and brilliant characterisation, every update feels like a treat ☺️ @slothwithwifi
🔒 I'm Much Older Than I Thought I'd Be
by MajorEnglishEsquire (@chuckwinchester)
E, WIP, 81k, Wangxian
Summary: “Now. Before we break for the evening, as the topic has arisen between Lan Xichen and myself, directly, in accordance with an inquiry from the Lans,��� Uncle passes him the copy of a draft agreement. “I wonder if you recall your lessons on the cross-clan arrangement of cultivation partnerships.” Picks up after The Further I Go, The Less I Know.
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Hello! I want to submit this fic for Rewind because I love cherry magic AU and lwj pov is so rare. It’s very funny to listen to wwx pining in his head and lwj panicking over it. - Anon
My Heart is Yours to Fill or Burst
by anancites (@ananc1tes)
E, 67k, Wangxian
Summary: On his 30th birthday, Lan Zhan gets struck by a mysterious curse: suddenly he's a mind reader! As much as he dislikes most people talking too much, hearing their unfiltered thoughts is even worse. To top it all off, he learns that his old friend Wei Ying might not be flirting with him just to be a nuisance. He might be flirting with Lan Zhan because he's actually really into him? (a WangXian AU very loosely inspired by Cherry Magic)
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Delightfully hilarious. I read it over a month ago and still laugh sometimes when I think about wwx in this. @alyseofwonderland
Living Art
by relenafanel (@relenafanel)
E, 8k, Wangxian
Summary: Broke artist Wei Wuxian takes a hard look at his finances and shrugs his way into becoming a content creator on OnlyFans. Jiang Cheng sighed. “These columns are negotiable. If you want to keep this subscription, you have to replace something to break even.” Wei Wuxian stared at the spreadsheet. He hummed in thought. “I need to break even.” “Yes.” “In order to keep my OnlyFans subscription I need $65 a month. On OnlyFans.” “No,” Jiang Cheng said quickly. “If I become a content creator and earn $65 a month--” “I am begging you--” “Then I can keep the subscription. Thanks A-Cheng!” The account in question? Hanguang Jun's Reading Livestreams.
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🔒 Only with Time
by adrian_kres (@Bichen-Suibian)
E, WIP, 66k, Wangxian
Summary: Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were arranged to be married as is tradition. Throughout their thirteen-year-long "courtship," things were not always as they seemed. Now, newly married, old secrets have ripped open wounds they thought were closed, and they must work together to rebuild a trust they never had and a love they always did but couldn't see. Told from alternating points of view between LWJ and WWX with frequent flashbacks to memories of their "courtship". Updates weekly.
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Proud Author Spotlight
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I can't believe I almost forgot to shout-out my own fic that I started this year! It's a modern AU with cultivation where Wei Wuxian loses his hand, gets taken in my Wen Qing and her family, starts a prosthetic start-up and schemes to take down Wen Ruohan from the shadows feat. Wen Yuan having a big sister, Wen Zhuliu redemption and all the Found Family vibes!
Black Sun
by thelastdboy (@thelastdboyy)
E, WIP, 51k, Wangxian
Summary: Within one afternoon, the Yunmeng Jiang Clan became a mere branch of the Wen Clan. They lost their estate, all of their assets, and Wei Wuxian – He lost an arm. All to appease Wen Ruohan. To the Jiangs, the name Wen became a curse to be hissed out between gritted teeth. To Wei Wuxian, the name Wen became something dear after Wen Ning and Wen Qing saved his life and took him in. Years later, Wen Ruohan and his sons have long since died under mysterious circumstances and Wei Wuxian has been branded a traitor to the high society of the cultivation world. Together with the remaining Wens, he turned to the civilian world and revolutionized the medical field by developing prosthetics controlled by spiritual energy. Enter: Lan Wangji. After their fight against the Tulu Xuanwu, his leg never really recovered. Years of countless surgeries and feeling as if he was living inside a gilded cage while being patronized by his family passed, until Lan Wangji finally took his chance and absconded. To Yiling.
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(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)
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the-universal-sun · 3 days ago
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in NEED of some sad little stan with ford comforting him.. maybe him telling ford about his past being homeless and regressing from talking about the memories
Thank you for the request and very sorry it took so long to get to it, I hope you're still here to read it! I enjoyed writing it very much, even if Stan doesn't regress until about halfway down. I do have some drabbles in the works that are lil' stan all the way through though...Enough about that, thank you again for the request, I hope it lives up to your expectations! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was a good prompt and I thank you again, Anon, for the ask! Sorry if the tone seems to flip flop around, I took a long break to finish up some chores when writing this.
As always, I'm open to helpful comments and advice, please enjoy!
TW: Stan talks a little about his time in the back of a trunk, but it's essentially just Stan describing his feelings and dropping when telling Ford. If you want to void that paragraph, it starts at "It was about the time I spent in Mexico" and ends at "get his words out without blubbering. "
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It was a rough night for Stan. There was a storm going on out on the water and the violent rocking of the Stan O' War made him stumble and burn his tongue on the still hot stew was made, then he just couldn't find the right position to sleep in, his back hurting on his side, his front, when he was laying back on his orthopedic pillow, nothing was right. And when he did finally manage to get to sleep, nightmares and memories he wishes stayed forgotten clawed at his mind all night, finally jerking him awake too early in the morning for anyone to function. Anyone but Ford, that is, who seemed well rested and eager to start the day. Stan swears his brother was whistling a tune while he made coffee he was just that damn chipper. Stan wasn't. He wanted to sleep, but he knows even if he could, nightmares would find their way back in, and he cannot deal with those right now, not with how close he was to dropping and regressing-which he honestly wasn't in the mood for right now, his body and mind to anxious and exhausted to focus on that allure. Instead, he just grunted when Ford asked him about how he slept. And he only gave short one word answers throughout the day, his mood souring further and further as the humid sun beat down on them. He thought he was doing well in hiding it from Ford until, around late afternoon, his brother turns to him, arms crossed and an expression that was identical to their mother's when she got annoyed with their attitudes, and demanded an explanation.
"Stanley, what is the matter with you today? You've been crochety and grumpy all day, and it's starting to get on my nerves." He stands there, waiting for Stan to respond. Jesus, can't Stan have a bad day without it being turned into a big deal? He heaves a sigh after a few moments, not wanting to get into an argument with the way he's feeling.
" 'S nothing, Stanford, just had a rough time getting to sleep, s'all. Nothing for you to worry about." He shrugs, trying to keep it casual and not alert his brother to just why he had a hard time sleeping. Stan hopes he'll drop and they can go back to setting up fishing lines. Stan doesn't think he can keep a good grip on his pole today, so he's got the rail grip out for it. He just wants to sit back and relax and not think about bad dreams and phantom body aches.
"Hard time sleeping? Was it the storm, Stanley? It was pretty rough last night, but it ended around 2 am and I've seen you sleep through rougher. Though I do recall hearing you complain and grumble about your back periodically throughout the night..." Stan, knowing his brother will reach some sort of conclusion on his own, whether accurate or not, just sighs again and starts putting up their fishing gear. Once Stanford got started, it took a while for him to finish, and once he comes to his conclusion, whatever it is, he's going to insist Stan go and get some rest or, god forbid, talk about it. Yeesh, just thinking about it made his whole body cringe. He's finished packing everything up and is halfway to the door back inside before Ford pipes up with his conclusion as to what Stan's problem was.
"You had a nightmare! Probably of a memory that just came back to you! Why didn't I see it before! You're always in a dour mood when you have a memory come to you in this form, it should've been my first thought, really! I was too absorbed in writing down my latest findings...that...I..." Ford stops, wincing at the sight of Stanley's blank stare from the doorway, eyebrow raised. Stan only rolls his eyes up, earning another wince, before he gestures to the open door. If they're going to have an emotional talk, Stan would rather do it in air conditioning. He leaves the box of fishing gear by the door and heads to their room, he'll need the comfort of his teddy bear if Ford's going to make him talk about his nightmare. And trust him, Ford will make him talk, probably by sheer annoyance and pestering. He grabs his Teddy and heads to the kitchen, bypassing Ford loitering in the door way and ignoring the stare aimed at him. He doesn't need to feel like he's going to regress to have Poindexter, the stuffed toy has been a comfort for him since he was 19, and it's still one now, no matter his headspace. He settles in the kitchen, grabbing a diet Pitt Cola, more for something to do with his hands and mouth than desire to drink it. He adverts his eyes when Stanford settles down in front of him, staring silently.
"Stanley, you know we need to talk about this, if it was a memory, it needs to go in one of your memory books, just in case you have a lapse. You also need to talk about it for your own mental health, you know what Mabel says, bottling your emotions will only lead to explosions." Stan loves his great-niece, he truly does, but she was all on abord with his brother when he got into his "caring about peoples (Stanley's) emotions and helping them with their mental health." phase, which is seeming less like a phase every day.
"Yeah I had a nightmare, it was about an incident during a drifter days. It was sucky and I hated it, and I'll write it down in the Bad Memory journal later. There, we talked about it, I'll go rest now. We done?" Stan starts to get up from the small table.
"No we are not done! You actually have to talk about it, Stanley, share the details of your nightmare with me. And I know you won't write it down! So we are going to sit here and you are going to talk. And trust me, I can play the waiting game. I can play it all day." Dang it, Ford's stern about this, and Stan knows he means it, waiting for him to talk. He's done it before, they sat there from sun rise to almost sun set before Stan gave in and talked. He sighs, cracking open the soda and setting his bear next to him at the table, talking more to it than to Ford, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. He takes a while to gather his thoughts, to think about the best way to get through this. He grabs his teddy with his free hand, just to hold and pet so his nerves can calm down.
"It was about the time I spent in Mexico, there was an-uh-incident and," Stan blows some air out of his mouth, wondering why it was so hard to talk about this particular memory with Ford. "I had to chew my way out of a trunk." He still refuses to look at him, staring down at Poindexter, his worn but well loved Teddy who's been with him through everything. Stan's amazed he's never lost the poor thing, with how many times he's been on the run and in jail-thankfully they keep the stuff you had when you went in and kept your car impounded if you were in for less than 3 years, so no one was able to throw him away. He keeps his grip on Poindexter tight as he talks about his nightmare, how terrified he felt and how he truly believed, for the first time in his life, he was going to die. He recounts the experience, and not without a few barbs and poor tasting jokes, going from holding Poindexter to hugging him tightly, needing his comfort. Stan can feel his headspace creeping up on him, already so close to dropping and getting even closer to it the more he talks. He doesn't even realize he's started rocking until he knocks into the table, startling him into silence until Stanford quietly urges for him to continue talking about his nightmare, his brother writing down his words in a memory journal. Stan starts slipping further and further as he gets to the part where had to chew through the harsh metal of a car trunk, he can feel the tears sting his eyes, but he can't worry about them, too focused on being able to get his words out without blubbering.
He finishes telling Stanford about his nightmare, was it really a nightmare if it was a memory of his, with a joke about his dentures. Stan doesn't know if it didn't land because of the situation or because it was actually bad, he's still refusing to look at Ford, burying his face in Poindexter's fur, feeling so close to dropping, he's teetering over the edge, and so upset about his nightmare. He wishes he never remembered that situation, he could've gone the rest of his life clueless and he would have preferred that. He flinches when he hears Ford get up and sit next to him, is he going to tell Stan what a disappointment he was for getting mixed up in such a bad crowd? Will he sigh and say he should've taken better care of himself? Stan doesn't know, and he's scared to find out.
"Oh, Lee," Ford sighs next to him, a six-fingered hand curling through the strands at the back of Stan's neck, his gentle touches breaking away the last of the dam holding back his tears and pushing him over that edge. He curls into Sixer, clutching his sweater and sobbing, sobbing over how scared he was, how scared he still is, the nightmare's affects lingering throughout the day. He never wants to think about that moment ever again. Stan's finding it hard to breathe his how hard he's crying, coughing harshly every couple of minutes. His brother slaps his back to dislodge his coughs, rocking Stan's body with his own. He sniffles, wiping his face on Sixer's chest, and wraps his arms around him, making their rocking go faster. Stan likes it when his brother rocks him, it's better than his rocking, it calms him down way faster, too. They just rock together for what feels like eternity, he's stopped crying at some point, but he still clutches Sixer, enjoying the touch and the sensations, the nice a comfy warmth he brings. His brother always knows how to chase away his scary feelings and thoughts, he really loves Ford.
Stan panics when he feels Ford pull away, clutching at his sweater and whining, he's so scared he's going to leave him again, Stan doesn't want to be alone, he wants his big brother to hold him and rock him!
"Lee, it's alright, I'm just getting a warm cloth to wipe your face, alright?" Stan just blinks at Ford, not really understanding what he said. He just stands when his twin stands, he doesn't want to be alone, he has to follow Sixer. Stan holds his hand as tight as he can and follows Ford to the bathroom, he cries when the lights get turned on, they hurt his eyes, they're too bright! He flicks them off, rubbing his eyes, they sting and burn even more now. Stan just wants to go and get out of these itchy clothes and cuddle Poindexter, but Ford's got to be in the bathroom for some reason, which means Stan does too, even though he doesn't have to go potty now. He flinches when the cloth touches his face, it's got but it does feel good, Stan hums and lets his brother pat his face with it, lightly rocking on his feet and clutching his stuffy to his chest.
"There we are, the hot water might help soothe some of the irritation in your eyes from crying, but if your eyes start to swell, I've got an ice pack in the freezer if you're amenable to that." Stan doesn't know what Sixer's talking about, his head's too fuzzy to pay attention to all the details and the big words his brother's using. He hums again as Ford smooths his hair back, he loves it when his hair's played with, it makes his body feel just like jelly-or is it jam that jiggles and falls down? Stan doesn't know, but he smiles at Sixer, he's still rocking away, but it feels nice to do, it's a nice rocking, a happy rocking, not a bad and tight tummy rocking. His brother looks, now that his glasses are back on, sad and all frowny, and Stan doesn't like that, so he lets Poindexter hug him, that's sure to cheer him up. Poindexter's hugs always cheer Stan up, why wouldn't they work on Ford.
"A-ah, thank you, Lee and Poindexter, for the hug. I appreciate it very-um very much." Ford rubs the back on his neck, giving the toy a hand armed hug and hesitant tap on it's "back", still unsure about hugging a stuffed animal.
His brother always looks so awkward when he hugs his stuffies, but, and Stan gives him a big hug, too, he looks happier than before, so Stan was right, as always, his friends hugs cheered up Sixer! His brother is the one grabbing his hand this time, walking them to the bedroom, Stan swinging their joined hands together between them for the short walk. "Lee, how about you go pick out some comfortable clothes while I fix the bed up. I'll help you get dressed when you've got them picked out, yes?" Stan understood enough of that to know that Sixer wants him to get some jammies out, he already knows which ones he's going to pick, his absolute favorite pair. He nods and gives a little salute, giggling when Ford tickles his chin, moving his face to escape the tickling but the hand keeps following him until he pushes it away, wanting to get changed. He watched his brother go to his bed, staring at it for some reason, before he goes to his dresser and pulls out his Special Jammy Drawer, the words capitalized to show how special and important this drawer is; it had all his fun and comfy pajamas and socks. Stan doesn't even need to look for his jammies, his favorite pair is right on top. It's a pair of fuzzy brown footies and it has a hood, but even better than the hood is the ears and tail on it, they look like a bears! Now he matches with Poindexter when he's got them on, that's why they're his favorite! Sixer always gets a kick out of it when he roars and rolls around on these, too.
"Have you got your clothes out yet, Lee? I've got the bed all fixed up with your special blankets and special pillows on it. I've even laid out a heating pad, it should be warm enough to feel once you've gotten dressed." Oh boy, Stan's special blankies are his favorites, and he gets a heating pad! He's got an achy back, so he sometimes needs a heating pad if it gets real bad, his special pillows are for his back and neck, too-Sixer likes to say something about "proper support" but Stan just likes how it makes his body feel like he's a giant laying on hills. But his blankets he can't rest without. One is a giant and heavy blankie with dinos on it, but the other is his tip top absolute favorite. It's a big and warm quilt with so many different patches and patterns-Stan added some teddy bears to it himself and they only made it look better-and some nice old lady gave it to him when he was really cold at a shelter once, it was just before he got Poindexter, which means it's also been with him forever and ever and he doesn't know what he'd do without it.
Stan's snapped out of his thought when his brother takes Poindexter out of his arms, Stan cries out and tries to follow him but calms down when Sixer puts him on the bed, right, he needs to get dressed and can't hold his friend to do that. "Steady now, Lee. Hold on to me." Ford always helps him get dressed, scared he'll fall and hurt himself, it's only ever happened one (or thrice or five times), but Stan likes it, it gives him a warm gooey feeling in his chest and tummy, he likes that his big brother wants to take care of him and soothe his ouchies when he gets hurt from falling. "Step in one leg at a time, Lee, we don't want to fall. Left leg in, perfect. Right leg now." Ford's voice is soft, so are his movements, he gently holds and guides Stan, helping him step in the legs of his jammies and threading his hand through the sleeves, zipping him up almost all the way but not to the top, Stan doesn't like things zipped up or buttoned up all the way, it makes it hard to swallow. "There we go," His hood is flipped up, the bear ears sticking out, "one Big Bear ready to lay down and rest easy." Stan does a little "roar" and makes claws with his hands, but he doesn't think it scares Sixer, his brother just laughs and rubs his head, which makes him pout before a tummy poke brings out his ticklish giggles.
"Alright, lets get tucked in to bed now. Ah-" Ford tuts at Stans returning pout, tapping his lips to usher it away, "You don't have to sleep, Lee, but I just want you to lay down in the quiet, okay?" Stan can do laying down, maybe not quiet, but he can 100% lay down in a comfy bed surrounded by Sixer and Poindexter and his blankies. "Perfect, let's get your glasses...alright, let's get you settled, Lee." As Ford tucks him and Poindexter in, Stan wonders if Ford will get in with him if he asked. Is Ford going to stay with Stan? The thought of Ford leaving makes him whimper, clutching his brother's sleeve. He can't leave, Stan needs him here with him! To protect him from any scary dreams or memories or monsters!
"Lee!? What is it what's wrong?" Ford panics, thinking something, another memory perhaps, caused Stanley's panic. His face crumples when all he gets his a whispered and broken "stay" and teary whines, did Stanley think he would leave? After what his memory was about? He gets on his knees, the joints cracking, before he speaks:
"Oh, Lee, I'm not going to leave you. I'm going to stay right here by your side, I always will be by your side, for the rest of our lives. So please, don't cry, I'm not going anywhere." He rests his forehead against Stanley's, one hand holding his, the other grabbing the pacifier he laid on the side table, bringing it up to his brother's mouth-which immediately latched on and began to chew, the repetitive movement obviously soothing, his body goes lax soon after.
Sixer said he'd stay, he always says that and he always stays, so Stan settles back down, chewing on his pacifier and hugging Poindexter, and lets his brother finish tucking him in, the blankets tights around him, the pressure is soothing. He keeps his head turned to face his brother, needing to see him, to make sure he's really going to stay, snuffling when his hair gets soothed back, the hand resting on the top on his head. Stan doesn't feel tired, not sleepy tired at least, but it feels nice to let his body relax against his bed and brother, just letting himself float in his fuzzy headed feelings, not really thinking of anything, just existing.
It felt nice.
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eerna · 13 hours ago
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tlt is so bizarre because it's the only series i'd rate 10/10 for all 3 books but completely understand why someone would do 0/10 for all 3 too.
"characters are ass and unlikable" no they're very thought out and charm is subjective but admittedly gideon's first line of dialogue pops straight out of fanfic. "world-building is ass" no it's very intricate and says a lot of this resultant society but admittedly it's bizarre we have interplanetary travel but terrible means of informational exchange. "themes are ass" no there are many themes at play and some play across all 3 books but also you're gonna have to get there to understand why it's so important that the dramatis personae refers to the seventh house as the eternal rose. "tonal whiplash is off-putting" it's mental warfare, actually, but i can't blame you there. "meme humor is redundant, forced and unfunny" somehow, somehow, it's internally coherent with the world-building and the only characters who utilize it align with this, but also it was certainly a Choice to incorporate them into the writing. "these books aren't remotely lgbt" it's a very specific brainwave of lgbt and if it does not register for you it probably never will and it is not remotely your fault.
dear god these books are so hard to recommend i've been trying for a year and only hooked 1 ;-;
YEAH YEAH YEAH IT IS SO CORRECT..... It is my fav book series. HtN is my fav book. But that's because it works for ME. Because Tazmuir is laser beaming this story STRAIGHT into my MIND. I can rationally say that I usually hate memes in books, love stories that lead nowhere, characters created to suffer, and whiplash. But those rules don't apply to these books because I get them too well and all of it makes so much sense to me. Those who get it, get it. Those who don't, don't. Nothing has ever reminded me just how subjective literature is as trying to recommend someone these books. Stay strong, if you keep trying to get people around you into them, someone insane enough will be caught and you will be vindicated
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rockybloo · 3 days ago
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With it nearing the end of the year, I feel like it's a good time to just have some real talk about why I create art.
At some point during in high school, during those years where you are pressured to figure out what you want to do when you grow up and what you want to major in when you go to college, I had wanted to go to art school after high school. I decided against it ultimately because I just didn't see a true appeal for me. I started to realize that I enjoyed my art so much more when I didn't have the pressure on me to create something for a fancy final product. Yeah, I could go but then I'd have to change aspects of myself I didn't really want to change but had to because that's what the world says I gotta do if I want to be a good artist.
And that's the thing I sort of hate the most about being able to create anything. You have to be good. Otherwise you are wasting your time. You aren't allowed to just make stuff for fun and for a hobby - you have to constantly be striving for improvement at a pace others have set for you. You can't just have it as a hobby. If you make art then it's expected that you make good art.
You're not allowed to be satisfied with being mediocre.
I've been actively posting my art online since I opened a Deviantart account way back in middle school. I'm 26, on my way to becoming 27. And as someone who has spent a solid decade online, I feel more certain than ever that I am a hobby artist. Having a fulltime job DEFINIATELY has helped me come to that conclusion but even before, I knew I liked to draw for fun. I don't like to stress about what I am sharing to cyberspace, I like just having this digital archive of stuff I've made and stories I've written.
I call myself a self indulgent artist because I'm incredibly selfish draw things I want and write stories I'd enjoy.
That's not to say I don't care that people enjoy my work and feel represented at times. I love it when people share how happy they feel when they see my OCs and read my stories. I'm happy I can fulfill some niches for people. Honestly, it'll always be crazy to me when I make something so damn specific that I wanna see and share it just for some other people to get excited. There are benefits to having a public digital archive your art and reactions people may have are one of them.
But ultimately I don't create to make others happy. If I did focus my art on just doing that, I promise you that my online presence and art would look DRASTICALLY different.
I share my stuff online because it's a whole lot easier to archive all my art as well as being able to share my stuff with the world and occasionally make some friends. Posting my art shows I was alive so MAYBE JUST MAYBE I will not be watered down when recalled in memories and people will always know I was insane about my OCs.
I'm pretty satisfied with be a mid artist. My finished work makes me happy, and what I care about is managing to create something of the fellas that reside in my head because seeing my OCs makes me happy...AND I'M THE ONLY SOURCE OF CONTENT FOR THEM SO I GOTTA COOK MY OWN FOOD AND EAT IT TOO--
ANYWAYS I am in no rush to level myself up. I'm 27 and human lifespans are pretty long. Even though it's slow and subtle, I have def been making improvements in my work...but mainly because there are aspects about my OCs that I occasionally realize I am struggling with and pull a "Do it for her" as I work on what I am having a hard time with. SURE they might not be improvements others would like to see but they are improvements that make me happy. And I am excited to see how my art develops over my existence on this planet.
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...I am also excited to see if my black ass can finish any of my webcomics before I die. I KNOW I CAN DEF FINISH ONE OF 'EM I JUST DUNNO WHICH ONE IT'S GONNA BE! IT'S A RACE TO SEE WHO MAKES IT TO THE FINISH LINE BEFORE I KEEL OVER
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twig-tea · 2 days ago
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GL odds and ends 29 December 2024
The end of the year kicked my ass, but I wanted to get one last one of these out for 2024! The last one before this was 10 November. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list through Feb 2024 and my #gl recs tag for the other odds and ends posts. New series marked with an asterisk*.
Currently airing (with thoughts up to 29 Dec):
The Fragrance You inherit 5/8 (Japanese, Friday/Saturday-ish, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog [thank you Siiri!] I have been really enjoying this show and have been writing when I have time (last post was for ep4). At its core this is a gentle show about kind people who love each other doing their best, which is always my favourite thing. Subs are on pause for the moment so you have time to catch up before the finale!
Pluto ep 11/12 (Thai, Saturdays 9:30 AM ET, YouTube) This plot continues to be absolutely wild. There's a lot of discourse around Oom this week, to which I'll just say: Setting a test to see if the people you love will hurt themselves in order to make you feel better is not loving or healthy behaviour, even if your motivations are understandable and sympathetic. Namtan is doing a great job making these twins feel like different people, and she and Film are still gorgeous together. And I have no idea what's up with the messy lesbian sides, but I'm on the side of all of them need a time out! I've been pretty dialed out of this show because it's not my thing, so I'm not that invested in any of the relationships going into the finale, but it's been a wild ride and it seems to be holding together for those who enjoy the high drama of this plot.
*Petrichor ep 5/10 (Thai, Saturdays, 10:00 AM ET, iQIYI) The procedural aspects of this show are unfortunately not well executed, but Engfa and Charlotte have fantastic chemistry. I'm also really loving seeing Na and Max again even though I am very worried about getting too attached to their characters. It's always hard for me when a show is about a police officer trying to do good work in a corrupt system because the only takeaway I can accept is that that is not possible lol but I'm enjoying seeing these two on my screen every week (except this week, because we sadly did not get a new episode today).
*Mate, 6/12 (Thai, Tuesdays, WeTV (uncut version)) This one is hard to describe. It seems to be trying to do for trauma in a GL what Love in the Air and Bed Friend did in BL--show a realistic depiction of trauma in one of their characters and have them fall in love, and be taken care of and healed that way. But that also makes it extremely hard to watch. The trauma flashbacks and trauma responses is rough. The main character is not very likeable but that's kinda the point, I'm not minding that part of it so much. There are a lot of things I like about this show, so I don't want to discourage views. Just go into this one informed, and make the decision that's right for you.
*INTP 1/? (Korean, Fridays (?), YouTube) This is the latest short series from RedQ, who produced some of my favourite GL short series including More than or equal to 75 degrees C, and To the Ex who Hated Me. No info on how long it will be or if it will be weekly, so that Fridays release schedule is a total guess. The setup of this one reminded me of Semantic Error if SangWoo realized he was attracted to JaeYoung at their first group assignment meeting.
Recently Completed:
Apple My Love 6.5 50-min eps (Thai, Oct 12-Nov 16, GagaOOLala and YouTube) I ended up feeling like this one bit off a bit more than it could chew, as much fun as I had with it, it was a wobbly landing. I was ok with the ending at the end but I spent a lot of time watching the finale uncertain about how I felt about all of it. There's a 30 min "episode 5.1" that is an important bridge between episodes 5 and 6 (and also includes a 10-min fingering scene, thank you show) that I think resulted from either poor pacing or realizing they needed to set up the episode better? It was odd but something to make sure not to skip. The show does a lot of what I love about Kongthup's latest BLs: it avoids the worst drama pitfalls and calls them out in the show itself when it uses them, and it is largely about being kind to its characters who are figuring themselves out. Warning for extremely hard to watch secondhand embarrassment in the first couple of episodes lol Kris is such a cringefail lesbian I love her. With the caveats above, if you don't mind secondhand embarrassment and want a comedy GL and are willing to be a little patient with the ending, give this one a try!
The Loyal Pin 16 65-min eps (Thai, Aug 4-Dec 1, YouTube) Anin was the bravest right through to the end. I really liked a lot of this show, but I found the pacing a bit uneven and the finale a little rough. It's hard, because I actually am happy with the way the show ended--it makes perfect sense and was where I was hoping they would get to the entire show. What I didn't like was how we got there. It seemed wild that Pin and Anin didn't at least talk about this possibility before we got there; and didn't feel like we ever resolved the disparity between the two leads, though the show was aware of it the whole time which I did like. And you may have seen the shouting about the prank in the finale, it was in really poor taste. In the end, this show was beautiful, gave a platform for promoting Thai culture (food, clothing, history), and had excellent intimacy. I really enjoyed the slow burn between Anin and Pin, and I loved that every character had and used the agency they had, but that the show was realistic about what was in and outside of their control. If you want a slow-burn and high-heat romance and are willing to be a little frustrated for the sake of the drama, and/or you really like a pigtail-pulling romantic dynamic, you should watch this show.
Red Whisper 8 10-min eps (Korea, Oct 2-Nov 11, YouTube) Honestly this show never got better after what I wrote about it a month ago about how its portrayal of bisexuality and nonmonogamy was upsetting. For the record one last time: Not all bisexuals are nonmonogamous, and entering a monogamous relationship under false pretenses and then acting like your partner is being unreasonable by not wanting an open relationship is shitty behaviour. This one is sadly not recommended.
The Nipple Talk 10 30-min eps (Taiwanese, Nov 8-22, GagaOOLala) I highly recommended the first half, and so I am so sad to say that I can't say the same for the second half of the show. I was really enjoying how much the show seemed to support a mix of monogamy and nonmonogamy, but the second half of the show leaned heavily into 'everyone wants a monogamous relationship when they meet the right person', which disappointed me. The show also tried to introduce some themes that felt very dated in terms of how they handled them (e.g. HIV) and I ended up just not really liking the Pony character as a person by the end. The lesbian relationship was super messy in a way that I did not find fun too. Mama was the best part of this show, and I hope we get more characters like them in future (better) shows!
*Soul Sisters 24 12-min eps (Chinese, iQIYI) This entire show dropped this week so I binged it in one go. The basic setup is a GL version of Meet You At the Blossom, except the gender fuckery lasts for most of the series and they don't actually ever get to kiss. I loved this little show; it is a frenetic, very silly and censored comedy, so calibrate your expectations accordingly. But it walks the line in a way that is palatable (or was for me, anyway). Without giving too much away, it is an open happy ending. The caveats for this one are that there is no wasted tape, so the pacing is rollercoaster fast, and the cuts are sometimes jarring. But it's a surprisingly beautiful show for the budget, and I really appreciated all of the ways they came up with to give these women shippy moments. Also, good lord this main character is so competent, which is a major weakness of mine. I had a great time!
*Whisper Me a Love Song 12 25-min eps (Japanese anime, Apr-27 Dec, HiDive) This started airing in April but there was a delay and the last episode didn't air until yesterday. High school lesbians in a band having embarrassing confused and misunderstood feelings all over the place (with good endings including a kiss for at least one of our couples). I appreciate that this anime is not playing with the 'are they friends who joke about wanting to touch each other's boobs or are they more' line, they outright say they want to be more than friends and then kiss. The music is good too! Recommended if you are feeling like a high school dramedy with good tunes that stays pretty light and is in the 'bubble'.
Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:
My Hot Butch Roommate (actually a 2-parter) aired on bilibili 1, 2) and was subtitled by @douqi7s on YouTube (1, 2) These two are very cute, and this little short does a ton with the very tiny 5 minutes of total runtime it uses. Give the original bilibili uploads a stream so they get views, even if you watch the YT subbed version!
Fufuknows put out a new lesbian short titled The Choices of Two Lesbian Couples in Love on YouTube This was a great short (11 min) film featuring the story of two couples at different stages in their relationship, and the different choices they make about their futures. I really enjoy Fufuknows as queer short filmmakers, and I appreciate that they regularly include lesbian and wlw content in their bi-weekly (as in, every other week) fictional shorts that they produce and release. This one is recommended!
Aim's Lesbian plotline in the new Love Sick 2024 remake concluded (this was not a plotline in the 2014 version and it's one of the changes I really like and that I think works really well) Spoiler: she doesn't get a romance happy ending but her story ends with acceptance from her friends about who she is, which was lovely to watch
There was a brief of-the-week lesbian couple who wanted to marry in Spare Me Your Mercy Spoiler: their story is tragic, which is par for the course in a murder mystery
I am suspecting wlw sides in See Your Love I may end up eating these words but I was getting vibes, and so I'm putting this out in the universe now in hopes I'm right lol
There is a new Korean shorts production company on YouTube called Lovememory (Their first BL ep is out and the GL, First Love, has a trailer)
Mom Ped Sawan started airing but I don't have a source so I can't give any info or links unfortunately. If anyone knows of a subtitled source for this show, please let me know!
My Ex's Wedding came out in Thai theatres waiting for an international source for this too
Korean short film What's In my Bag was uploaded to Matchbox I haven't seen it yet but the trailer is on YouTube if anyone is curious! The film is available now for a small fee on Vimeo (runtime 12 mins).
Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out
Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!
Starting soon:
Us the series, Thai, 18 January 2025, most likely YouTube (as this is a GMMTV show) Caveat that this date is a rumour, see comments
Fragrance of the First Flower s2, Taiwanese, 18 February 2025, GagaOOLala ok this isn't that soon but I'm just so excited we're getting this second season after all!
It is so, so nice that we have this much GL to keep track of, I can't complain! This covers a whole month of content and it was a month I was very distracted from my QL consumption so while I always welcome anyone pointing out stuff I missed, I would particularly appreciate it this round.
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yinwaryuri · 22 hours ago
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Random QL Superlatives 2024
Got tagged by @baseballmomlesbiandad and yeah, I definitely have been wanting to do one of these, so let's do it before the year is out!
There were so many shows that happened this year, I literally had to make a list by scrolling through mass post editor to see what I had watched. I cannot keep time straight (or my watching habits lol)
Favorite New BL Pairing
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TopMick
I think several people can agree with me, they swooped into this last quarter totally unknown and Every You, Every Me stole all of our hearts. As SunDol, PinFirst, XNamping, BlueSian, and PunInn???? All of those???? And both of them dealt with different flavors of queer men (and gender expression) so well. I would gladly be a third for XNamping or BlueSian in the fic of my dreams - I was drooling over each of them (BlueSian, you horny bitches, you made me feral like nothing else 🥵🫣). Namping especially, baby, you live in my heart forever. Honorable mention to Fiat Patchata, boy I've missed you! The Gifted lover in me will always miss my son Korn and Fiat was fantastic as him, and I loved seeing his characters here too.
Fave Guy Who Was In Everything
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Title Kirati
I only watched Wandee Goodday, Kidnap The Series, and Pluto The Series with him in it, but he also was in We Are, Ploy's Yearbook, and Perfect 10 Liners. His 2024 schedule was booked! And for good reason. He's showing a fair amount of versatility and I have enjoyed every character he's gotten to play so far. I chose Blue to show though, because as someone on the ace spectrum, his character being an understanding partner to an asexual character meant so much to me. Plakao deserved it, and we were not disappointed.
Top-tier Crossdressing
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P'Jessy/Jessie
The MomentTM, Miss Thang, Star of the Year, my pookie, sweetheart #1!!!!!!!!! We need her back. Just one chance???? I am blushing and giggling so hard as I write this asdlfkjclbndfldkfsdljd 🥰❤️💕😘😍💞💖💘
Most Comforting Watches
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1000 Years Old/Monster Next Door
WeTV really put out some of the cutest couples (Caged Again is getting everyone on board hehe) and both PunYoh and GodDiew are so special to me. Let's give it up for the weakest vampire Pun and his collection of umbrellas, and his enduring love for Yoh, a silly boy obsessed with aliens. Big win for autism. Meanwhile, we have one of the sweetest romances by way of God and Diew learning how to communicate with each other and enjoy who the other person is despite vast differences in their personalities. Save that turtle though.
Best to Worst Grandma Awards
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Jack's Ama - Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart/ Ai-Oon and Oab-Oom's Yaai - Pluto The Series
Ama - I wish she'd adopt me. She is so understanding, hard-working, patient, supportive, and badass. A few months with her and my life would be sorted. And I'd do anything for her in return.
Yaai - Waste of a caretaker. It took me so long to even find a gif. I'm sending you back to the Laws of Attraction universe where you support your puppy dog grandson and his insane lawyer boyfriend, and play dress-up with Silvy Pavida Maya.
Gift Show of the Year
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Meet You At The Blossom
UNCENSORED CHINESE BL IS OFFICIALLY IN!!!!! Boy was this whole thing fun. The hype beforehand, seeing the censors attempt to make it flop and getting the opposite effect, and getting one of the most unhinged shows for our viewing pleasure. Mercenary malewife x jingle bells for braincells, collarbones and torture, aphrodisiac sex, toxic yaoi, murder and betrayal, several kisses, and a happy ending!!!!! Sign me the fuck up a million times. Personal thanks to @guzhufuren for doing all the PR, where is your paycheck?
Unexpected Topic of the Year: Euthanasia
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Spare Me Your Mercy/Every You, Every Me (implied)
I'm not here to really discuss the subject itself or which show did a better job with it, especially since Every You, Every Me left that factor up to interpretation (I'm including it anyway, even if it wasn't intended). What I appreciated in both shows was the empathy they showed toward the people whose conditions toward the end of their lives left them wanting to choose for themselves how things would end, and they showed loved ones around them supporting their decisions. I'm not an older queer who was around for most things regarding the HIV/AIDS pandemic, but the use of queer characters for these stories does hit a particular chord in regards to how important respecting the choices of the dying and their supporting circle should be.
Lookalikes?
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Toh - Secret Crush On You/Kluer - This Love Has No Long Beans
Seng and Aon should do a show together as brothers. I am constantly on my actors-who-should-play-brothers agenda (ask @thisautistic), and they're on it. I could've added a lot more here, but I'm currently watching Secret Crush On You for the first time and immediately went 🫵 when I saw Toh. Also both of these boys are so precious to me.
Prettiest Mindfuck
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Uranus 2324
I waited to receive this film for months and months and months after it was announced and then released and boy did I RECEIVE. FreenBecky really get to show off their chops in this. I loved how it straddled the line between sci-fi and psychological thriller on top of the sapphic romance. Kath and Lin are both fantastic characters in every single storyline. I especially enjoyed the part where they have guns with a bonus of Lin getting a knife. When do they get their action gl?
My wishes for 2025 in no particular order:
GIVE MEN MORE LONG HAIR. Namping and Sian were fantastic, Top Piyawat really gave us so much. I also found out that Sailub Hemmawich used to have long hair and I am so upset it's short now!!!!
More butches in GLs. Short-haired ones even. Jeab Lalana, thank you for existing; I am so excited for 3 Minutes 2 Love.
Give Papang a lead BL role! I'm going to apologize to all the PapangPodd girlies now, while it's great that they're a secondary couple, I just wanna finish the business he had with Pepper Phanuroj in Dangerous Romance. Pepper deserves a lead BL role as well! I'm excited with whatever is going on between him and JJ Chayakorn in The Heart Killers, and hell JJ can join Papang and Pepper. If GMMTV can come through on more polyamory like they're hinting at in Pluto, then we should have this. PapangPepperJJ 2025? Wow. I had some opinions there.
On that note, more polyamory in general
Boun's vampire show???? Is it still happening????? Pretty please????? Also can they get Boss Chaikamon to stay in it somehow? 🥺
All the Chinese QLs. Drown me in them until they absolutely take over my life
In my wildest dreams Oreo Puwanai gets out from Wabi Sabi and joins Yacht at GMMTV so we get the WaanTul story continuation I need desperately
I know everyone is saying this but: COOHEART ADULT ROLE 2025!!!!!! POR FAVOOORRRRR. DÁLE UN PROYECTO ADULTO 😤
Get my man Peter Knight back on my screen. Just wave a scene of him being a dj at a bar or something to get him interested, idc
Dancer BL! Like I previously mentioned in a post about Fiat, we have enough dancer boys to put in the bracket for this!
If I already mentioned you, considered yourself tagged (if you wanna). Also tagging: @sunshinesanctuary @loveable-sea-lemon @firstkant @writerwithoutsound @shubaka @benkaben @scarefox @dommingjeffsatur @chaotic-aro-incarnate @poetry-protest-pornography
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nonotnolan · 1 day ago
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No Not Nolan's Year in Review
Once again, it's time for the traditional "year in review" post. Since I've also been collecting prior years in these posts: here's 2021, here's 2022, and here's 2023. This year has more than 12 posts, and that's because I posted a few shorter stories to celebrate the release of my eBook.
I'm not planning to abandon this account anytime soon, but I'd be lying if the thought hadn't occurred to me once or twice. Every year I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing this, but then every year the support and feedback I receive keeps me going. So if you ever wonder if notes and reblogs help-- yes, they do motivate me to keep going. But more than that, I'd encourage you to message the authors directly. I'm not always the best at carrying a conversation, but it really does mean a lot whenever I hear from you all.
17) Side Effects - 71 notes - January 2024 Okay, well... I like this one. If you've already caused a lot of irreversible damage... why stop now?
16) Labor and Materials - 83 notes - December 2023 Sometimes I can just sort of tell the photos aren't what the average people are wanting, but I like the text too much to toss out the idea. Mass commercialization of body swapping isn't a new idea by any means, but I love exploring all of the low stakes uses and scenarios that would appear if that technology existed.
15) Shapeshifter's Night Out - 111 notes - January 2024 Honestly, this one was mostly just an excuse to pull out a few of the weirder photos I'd come across. I think it holds up well enough, though.
14) Fiverr Warlock: Holiday Magic - 183 notes - December 2023 The thing about the Fiverr Warlock series is that a lot of story ideas work better without the added baggage of the lore and narrator. This one holds up pretty well, and the photos do exactly what I need them to do, so I'm quite fond of it.
13) The Ends Justify The Means - 204 notes - February 2024 See, I thought this one was great, especially for the Valentine's Holiday. Sometimes I have no idea what the average reader wants from me, and this is a prime example of that. No regrets, though. I'm never going to apologize for striking more sentimental than erotic.
12) Jock Cock, Part 3 - 219 notes - July 2024 Speaking of which... I can't be too surprised something this sentimental didn't do better. But I still love it, and I don't feel bad about it. (It does, however, make me less inclined to write sequels to other works. My idea about how the story continues vs how people want me to continue the story are seldom in alignment.)
11) Drawing Straws - 235 notes - January 2024 I love trait swapping, and I wish I could get inspired to use it more often. I have to be satisfied with an idea before I'll set it to the page-- it needs to have some amount of characterization and plot outside of "hot guy does a hot thing and it's hot" for me to be happy with it-- so trait swaps don't happen too often for me.
10) Treat Day - 241 notes - January 2024 This is my least favorite of the 5 promo-stories, so naturally it's the one that received the most notes. Revenge swaps are hit or miss for me, but needlessly cruel swaps seldom appeal to me. I like the photos, I like the ending wordplay, but overall it's not one of my favorites.
9) Swap Broker: Social Climbing - 250 notes - October 2024 If there's any story whose low placement on the list hurts to see, it's this one-- I absolutely love this one. Photos, concept, resolution, all of it. Ahh, well. A few people asked me what happened to the original Aiden, which I don't have much interest in writing, but... his father would have given him a one time chunk of hush money, which he would have burned through in a matter of months, at which point he'd probably be forced to start doing hard work for the first time in his life. It's not a happy outcome, which is why it's not a story I'm particularly interested in telling.
8) Jock Cock, Part 2 - 285 notes - June 2024 Like I mentioned for Part 3-- I don't regret writing it, even if I don't quite understand why it wasn't as well received. I'm not sorry for mixing sincere emotions into your casual smut-- it was intentional, and it will happen again. Also I've been doing it for the past 5 years, so presumably you noticed me doing that at least once before? I'm sure it's not a photo issue. Anyway.
7) Spring Break - 313 notes - March 2024 I love it when both parties can get what they want out of a body swap. I've had quite a few stories involving out of touch rich people, now that I think about it-- but then, every idea has already been done before if you simplify it enough.
6) Bodily Betrayal - 319 notes - December 2024 I'm so thrilled to be working with photo-manip artists for future detachable limb stories. You all may not be bothered by my attempts to create suitable pictures, but I definitely am. I mean, look at these pics-- head/body swap? Headless with head in hand? I wouldn't have been able to do that without a lot of practice and training.
5) Trial Period - 351 notes - November 2024 I don't do much with ghosts, and I'm honestly not planning to change that anytime soon. Still, I love the idea of supernatural entities shopping around to choose their next host.
4) This Happens all the Time, It's Detachable - 376 notes - August 2024 This is another one that I absolutely adore, and as a bonus it's a detachable story that requires no photo-manip work whatsoever. Obviously, I had to go with the King Missile reference in the title.
3) Roommate Rehab - 407 notes - April 2024 I still think my photo-manip work is clunky, but it gets the job done, and that's what matters. The interesting thing about writing more detachable works is that I'm really not familiar with any of the tropes. I'm so used to subverting expectations when I write body swap fiction, but it's a lot harder to subvert tropes that I don't know.
2) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 I'm glad this one did well, because it's definitely a lot more vulnerable than what I normally write. It's equal parts sincere and sexy, and I adore it. The thought of what stays with the body and what stays with the mind is one of my favorite concepts to explore with body swapping. On a different tangent, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to find good photos for a twink model that pass tumblr guidelines.
1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 This story came out of nowhere and completely surpassed all of my expectations. I have no idea what it is about this story that appealed to so many people-- probably obvious, given how few notes the other parts pulled. Is it the photos? The idea of using an athlete's body for sex without him knowing? Unfulfilled sex-with-teacher fantasies? I sure as hell don't know. Whatever the reason, I'm flattered.
Above 500 Notes - All Time
1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 2) Soulmate Swap - 704 notes - August 2022 3) Gym Merchandise - 654 notes - September 2022 4) Overbearing - 572 notes - May 2022 5) Finals Week - 568 notes - May 2021 6) Group Project - 566 notes - November 2023 6) Revenge, Reversed - 540 notes - August 2020 7) Rookie Mistake - 530 notes - May 2023 8) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 8) Information Overload - 501 notes - August 2021
Well, Jock Cock Part 1 has officially dethroned... uhh, literally everything else. Finals Week, my first piece to break the 500 notes mark, is quickly dropping out of the top 5. And some of these works received random resurgences several months (or years!) later, so that's always fun to see.
Enough time has passed that I have a sort of note rubric to determine success. Anything below 100 notes, I consider flopped. 100-300 is average, and 300-500 is a success. So to have this many stories above 500? It feels pretty good.
Here's hoping next year will see more additions to this list!
Special Mentions
Reunion - 151 notes - February 2024 Once again, @mergeman and I wrote each other stories for Valentine's Day. I do really love the idea of a support group for people affected by body swaps.
I'm always honored whenever I end up tagged in someone's recommended post, and @sanzaibian 's compliment of "someone who writes really sweet love stories ^^" is no exception.
Also, like I said earlier-- I live for compliments and discussion, both given and received. If you've dropped a line or responded to one of my outreach attempts, I appreciate you. If we've talked in the past but it's been a few months since you or I sent the last message-- I'm too ADHD for friendships that follow the constraints of linear time. If we go months between messages, know that I still appreciate you.
Is it too cheesy to end this with a "thanks for viewers like you" sentiment? Maybe, but I'm doing it anyway. I'd be having these ideas with or without an outlet for sharing them, so I really do appreciate the likes and reblogs. Here's to another year!
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echoingbirdsofprey · 2 days ago
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Delicate (Jake's Version)
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24 - Fade (Into You)
Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky
Rating: EXPLICIT (MDNI!)
Warnings: SMUT. SMUT. SMUT. Discussion of a safe word. unprotected sex (wrap before you tap) piv, like deep in the v, like as deep as Jake can get without breaking Sam. Glorification of Jake's shitty emotional state also??? but honestly this is the SEXUAL HEALING both he and Sam need.
A/N: This is literally just 2500 words of SMUT. And raunchy smut too. Jake is an absolute animal. Please enjoy! Likes, comments, reblogs are appreciated as always! I loved writing this by the way hehehe. I've added a few more songs to the playlist so check the masterlist for that link, but I've linked a song that inspired me to write this chapter the way I did. Also if you get the Yellowstone reference, kudos to you!
Tags: @djs8891 @mrsevans90 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03
As they pulled into the driveway, in remarkable time, Jake’s eyes had darkened significantly. He nearly ran to the passenger side to help Sam get out of the truck. She left her heels on the floor of the F-150 and grabbed the skirt of her dress, lifting it so that she could make it into the house and up the steps easier. As soon as they were inside with the door shut, Jake was on Sam like a predator to it’s kill. 
He pinned her up against the door, both hands running the skirt of the dress up as high as they could. Sam couldn’t help the moan that fell from her lips as her hands grasped Jake’s head, steadying him for a hard and fast kiss that turned into many many more. Jake was the one who pulled away, wiping his mouth and backing away.
“ Fuck. I need a second, Sam .” He growled. He felt like a beast. He felt like a fucking Corriente bull, ready to fuck anything that walked. Had this been deep inside of him this whole time? She was panting and she sunk slightly against the door, her eyes wide. His lust was clearly palpable in the air and he wasn’t sure if it scared her, excited her, or both.
“Are you...okay?” She asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, I just...I don’t wanna do this right here.” He chuckled and held his hand out to her. “I don’t want to hurt you either. I didn’t realize how pent up I was until we were here, now.” 
“Jake...” She stepped toward him, taking his hands for a moment, but then she slid hers up his arms and to his chest. She toyed with the buttons on his jacket and glanced up at him through hooded chocolate brown. “I want to feel how much you want me. I want you to fuck me, remember?” 
“I know, but I...” He stuttered, his brain going fuzzy as her fingers tugged at the buttons, carefully taking them apart. 
“Jake please. I’m begging you, handsome. Please me . Make love to me. Fuck me. I want it all. I want all of you, every bit of unhinged , every piece of your fucked up soul . I want it. I want you to show me just how wild you are, because I know it’s in there. You’ve been so patient , and so exhausted. But I know you’ve been clawing at your cage and you want out .” Sam’s voice was sultry and seductive as she undid the buttons, one by one, until she got to the end. She pulled his jacket open, exposing his white dress shirt and more buttons. Jake removed it and hung it on the end of the banister at the bottom of the stairs. He knew Javy and Maisy wouldn’t be home for a while, but just in case it was a good signal that Jake and Sam were occupied upstairs. 
Sam’s fingers met his belt buckle and she unbuckled it and unzipped his dress pants. Jake hadn’t realized how hard he was until then because he felt immediate relief, at least for a few moments. He hadn’t been thinking about his own sexual desires for the past couple of weeks. They’d just been too busy, but now that it was the only thing to think about, it was clear that Jake needed release. 
And he was out of his sling. His metaphorical cage. 
Jake kicked his shoes off and Sam tugged him closer by the waistband of his pants. She smirked and glanced down, then palmed his length through his pants. He groaned, a long and low sound that sent a jolt straight to Sam’s core. His head fell back and tipped slightly to the side and his eyes fluttered closed. He was already losing himself. 
“I can’t...lose...control...babygirl.” He murmured as her lips met his neck. She nipped at his skin as she began to undo the buttons on his dress shirt. He had nothing on underneath and the golden hair that dusted his chest had begun to poke out. Sweat beaded at his brow and his neck with all of his layers on and he couldn’t wait to get them off. Sam licked a line up his neck, tasting the salty, taut flesh.
“Jake, let go. You can. I can take it.” She said, finishing the last of the buttons. She slid his shirt off his shoulders and threw it on the floor. Sam hadn’t removed a damn thing yet. 
“We need a fuckin’ safe word. Or something to tell me to keep goin’ because I can already tell this is gonna get rough.” Jake mused and Sam caught his eyes as he tipped his head down to meet her mouth with his. 
“Green.” Sam said seductively, and as if Jake’s pupils could be any wider with lust, they seemed to cloud over more. Jake’s fingers met her hips where he’d bunched up her dress and they dug in, leaving tick marks under the fabric for sure. She whined into his mouth. 
“Goddamnit, Samantha.” He made a guttural noise, rumbling deep in his chest and he swept her up off her feet bridal style, and carried her up the stairs. Sam yelped in surprise but she grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss as they headed to their love nest. He kept one eye on where he was going and his lips locked with hers, their tongues battling. It wasn't a contest for dominance per say, it was more of who could get who more aroused. Who could drive who more crazy and which one of them would break first.
Jake elbowed the door open and then kicked it closed in the same breath. He threw her on the bed, which made her giggle wildly. He yanked the top of her dress down and assaulted her perfect, naked breasts with his mouth and hands equally. He sucked one nipple into his mouth and flicked the other with his fingertips, earning a loud moan from Sam. She threw her head back, allowing Jake to nip at her neck too. He bit down at the top of her collarbone and when she half screamed, half moaned, he backed off. He gazed down at her, his breath coming in quick bursts. He needed a few seconds, as he was about to bust just from the noises she was making. 
“Jake! Fucking green! Green! Green! Green!” She said desperately, impatiently grabbing for him. He pulled away and she whimpered in protest, but he wasn't teasing her. He was tugging her dress down the rest of her body to expose her beautifully tanned skin to the cool air. The motion left goosebumps racing across her skin. Jake threw her dress on the floor and for a second he thought how sad that such a gorgeous piece of clothing had been discarded in that way, but only for a second. As his eyes settled back on his fiance, he didn't feel so bad about the dress anymore. He tilted his head and from lowered lids he took in every inch of her incredible body. 
“God, you're fuckin’ perfect, y'know that, honey bun? Fuckin’ absolutely perfect.” He purred, then descended on her again, using his mouth first and foremost. He licked, sucked, nipped, and kissed his way down to her core, down to the skin just below her belly button. With his teeth, he pulled her panties down, then sent them the rest of the way with his hands, and roughly spread her legs apart. She was glistening, damn near dripping for him. 
He pushed his pants down the rest of the way quickly, throwing them behind him. Her eyes were locked on him, her lips parted and cheeks rosy red. She was beautiful, staring at him with so much neediness. He took a deep breath and kneeled between her legs. 
“You want me to fuck you right now?” He asked, his tone husky.  She shook her head and he smirked. “Too bad. I want dessert first.” 
He hooked his arms around her waist and moved her further up toward the top of the bed, then bent down and swiped his tongue through her folds and in and out of her entrance several times before taking two fingers and pushing them inside of her. Her walls pulsed around them as he curled his fingers up and massaged her spongy g-spot expertly. His thumb worked in fast circles on her clit at the same time. Jake ceased his movements, only for a moment while he buried his tongue inside her again. He covered her clit with his lips and sucked hard, pulling a gush of her arousal from her along with some of the most sinful sounds he'd ever heard. He then returned his fingers to their magic spot to finish the job.
She saw fireworks at the edges of her vision as Jake coaxed her rapidly over her first peak of pleasure. Fire raged low in her belly and exploded as she clenched hard around his fingers and he immediately pulled them and watched her pussy flutter at nothing. Her abs tightened hard rhythmically for a few moments and she broke out in a sweat as her orgasm faded. 
“So fuckin’ wet, babygirl. I'm not quite done with my dessert yet though.” He said, wiping his mouth with his hand. He then proceeded to swipe his fingers through her folds again, and coated his shaft with her juices. He took his length and pressed just the head in her still pulsing pussy. Sam moaned his name and he hovered over the top of her, leaning down to capture her lips in a hungry kiss. As he did this, he let his cock slide into her and he moaned at how easily it went. He pulled back and completely out, his cock twitching, his abs drawing up tight. He was doing everything he could to not come so soon. He swore, his tone harsh before he pressed another passion filled kiss to Sam's awaiting mouth. She reached up and hooked her fingers around the back of his neck so he couldn't leave. She pressed her nails into the back of his scalp and he smirked. 
He took his cock and pushed inside her again, repeating his previous actions. He pulled out all the way and felt himself spasming. He was cursing in his head and out loud at how fucking good Sam felt. He breathed out a ‘fuck’ and tensed all the muscles In his lower half like he would up in a jet to help with the g-forces, which he felt like he was under right now. He repeated this several times before thrusting into her again.
“Jake, stop teasing me!” Sam whined and he covered her mouth with his hand for a moment. She whimpered, her brows knitting. He leaned in close and pulled his hand away as he dipped his cock into her entrance again. 
“Samantha, do you even realize how fuckin' good you feel? I'm trying to stop myself from blowing my load too soon here, cause I wanna make this first round last. You're so fuckin’ needy right now, fuck.” His voice had an edge to it that made Sam shudder with excitement. Jake spoke again and the words that came out only served to bring her closer to the edge of her next orgasm. “Want you to feel every inch of me this time. I know how much you love the feeling of my cock inside you. And I know you want me to fuck you silly but I gotta make sure you're good and warmed up for that, honey bun. Nice and warm and wet.” 
Sam's pussy fluttered around Jake's length at his words and his smirk only grew more sly, more satisfied. Jake settled his hips then, almost flush against hers, bottoming out as his tip pressed against the deepest parts of her. 
“Fuuuuck. Sam. I fuckin’ love youuuu.” He groaned, as Sam dragged her fingers down his back and then grasped his biceps. He flexed in her hands and breathed deep into his lower half. She could feel his cock throbbing, ready to explode with even the slightest movement. Jake drew his hips back and forth, long and sustained strokes, once, twice, and a third and last time before his whole body tensed and he spilled inside of her, hot and thick ropes coating her innermost parts. He stilled, panting above her, as euphoria spread across the epicenter of his brain, making him feel like he was floating. 
Sam's hands traveled back up to his neck, and she ghosted her fingers over his cheeks. He hadn't even realized he'd closed his eyes until he was opening them and looking down at Sam's gentle expression of satisfaction. His lips met hers once again and then he raised a brow. There was a silent agreement forged between them then and Jake only asked one thing before he went to work. 
“On your back or ass in the air?” 
“I want to look into your green, green, green eyes while you fucking rail me, Jake.” She said, the blush that he loved so much returning quickly to her cheeks. It didn't take him long to get hard again, as he just stayed inside her and began a slow rhythm at first. His cock was still a little sensitive so it made him chuckle somewhat nervously to begin again. Sam was still teetering on the edge of her second orgasm and she'd been there for a while, but Jake vowed to get her there this time. 
He pulled her legs up and hooked them over his shoulders. He lifted her slightly off the bed and she grabbed onto the sheets as they were the only thing within reach. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and picked up speed steadily. She was so wet and the mix of her arousal and his cum leaked out with a squishing sound around his cock as his thrusts became deeper and harder. Their skin slapped together rapidly and with such force that his balls ricocheted off her ass with every thrust. Jake bared down, increasing his speed, rutting into her, and earning a new note from Sam. It was a moan so satisfied, coming so deep from inside her that Jake could only describe it as primal. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy and her tits bounced hard with the force Jake was exerting. He felt her pussy clamp down and he watched as her orgasm washed over her, catching in her throat and leaving her speechless and gasping for breath. Jake emptied his load once more with a last soul shattering thrust, breaking his conscious mind at the seams and ascending him to a higher plane. 
Everything became silent as Jake collapsed beside Sam. He pulled her against him and kissed her temple gently. She turned her head, their breath mingling in labored pants. 
“Are we gonna sit in our mess or take a shower?” Jake asked softly, a lilt of humor etching his words, letting his fingers trace a line from her belly button up to her sternum. 
“Can we enjoy our mess for just a few more moments?” She asked, her voice raspy from how loud she had been. 
“Sure can, babygirl, we sure can.” He said, even softer than before and Sam watched as his eyes closed. They would be asleep in no time, post-coital exhaustion creeping in quickly.
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churrorat-art · 3 days ago
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Mouthwashing headcanons post I've been chipping away at for a while
Not really specifically on the ship, some would be like, modern au, but some definitely only apply to in game/ board the tulpar
!Tw for sh mentions in Jimmy's section!!
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Anya
- loves disco music! The only music she plays and everyone on the tulpar eventually gets sick of disco /kinda reference to smth if u get it u get a gold star
-Is a lesibian lebisain lesabian lesbian aroace she/they
- has a specific pen she always writes with, gets very annoyed if its lost or she has to use a different pen
- enjoys crocheting and has made a few sweaters n quilts. Finds it very relaxing
- erm. Glasses wearer. One time she shattered her glasses and felt super bad about it. She also wears contacts occasionally
- BOOKWORM. gets so invested in the plots and could yapp abt books for hours. Murder mystery/ just mystery in general are her favourites. She tells curly all abt the books she reads alot. more less daisuke cuz he jokes around alot and isn't much of a book fan.
- such a sore loser. Says she loves board games!! Then she loses and what the shit! Once curly beat her in scrabble (like HOW?!) And she ignored him for a month after. Curly like "anya pls...I'm sorry I thought you'd be over this..."
- cant swim, hates swimming
- loves crocks! Has a pink pair of crocks daisuke got her that she wears all the time
- has broken multiple clipboards
- favorite board game is scrabble and shes Really good at it
- loves salad so much. Totally DEVOURS a good salad
- shes such coffee addict. I don't drink coffee but I think she likes it dark
- watches those medical type shows like house and greys anatomy
- is a cat person but never owned a cat b4
- could fall asleep standing up .
Daisuke ( @k9mackenzie wanted my daisuk headcanons)
-looves board games.
- highest subway surfers highscore
- chronic nail biter
- interrupts awkward silence by saying "meow" out loud. Probably makes it more awkward but he finds it hilarious
- loves to draw, often draws stuff for others as an act of friendship. Once Jimmy said his art looks like shit and he bit him.
- has a fursona
- very emotional. But bad at crying, just sadly stares at the wall whimpering
- hatesss getting yelled at
- he audhd
- pansexual he/she/they
- pokemon fan!! Brought a DS on the ship with him 2 play pokemon yellow and loved showing anyone who'd listen about the pokemon he caught
- Really high spice tolerance, but cannot stand sour stuff. Once anya gave him a sour warhead and told him it was just a regular candy. He spat it out and had a seizure(not really). He felt SO betrayed. But he can eat like a deathly spicy pepper with a straight face
- he has braces and HATES IT. eats popcorn anyways!!
- chews on his knuckles when stressed or bored much like nail biting
Curly
- super messy sleeper (when he does sleep) half off the bed, pillow on opposite side of bed and blanket in another universe type stuff
- he snores like TRUCk bruh
- loves jigsaw puzzles, very good at them. Him and anya like 2 do them together
- wins EVERY staring contest. They're so dazzled by his beautiful blue eyes teehee
- he IS Scottish. U cannot change my mind no matter how hard you try.
- doesn't like coffee but loves tea
- bisexual asexual he/him
- very good at baking
- he spaces out so muchh. Edit; no what I was talking about was dissociation. He just dissociates a lot. He knows this too and hes so ashamed and so mad at himself when it happens.
- HATESSSS disco music. But doesn't wanna tell anya cuz he doesn't want to make her sad by being a hater
- loves physical affection, doesn't show it much tho
- he has BEAUTIFUL hair .its so curly and fluffy and soft and no one could believe its natural
-takes pride in his hair and hes so irritable whenever he has a bad hair day
- daisuke asked him what hair products he uses LOL
- curly is transmasc
- nobody really knows hes trans though he just doesn't really tell anyone. One time though, daisuke's nosey ahh self came up and asked him "hey are you trans??" And he told him
- hes too scared to tell his best friend Jimmy tho
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- SO oblivious .
- played hockey in high school. Was good at it too.
- has a little tooth gap mostly courtesy of jimmy. Jimmy absolutely punched his face. Actually maybe he threw a brick at him idk
- noticed daisuke sneaking the sweeteners. He left a few out on the counter for him with a sticky note that read 'hey daisuke please stop stealing the sweetners :) if you wanna then just ask' but didn't say anything to his face. Daisuke was super embarrassed he got caught (he ain't slick)
- in the cryopod, he was not found. He eventually died slowly.
Swansea
- straight man. he has a wife and 2 kids
- cracks his knuckles SO EFFING LOUD!!
- says "augh my backk.." after getting up .lol
- loves eating peanuts and m&ms. Trail mix is his lifeline /silly
- dancing queen fr. Daisuke was like "no way YOU can dance lol" and then swansea totally breaks it down
- makes really good card towers
- taught daisuke to play card games so now they all play together in free time
- (used to?) walk his dog all the time, sometimes with his wife too. Gets up early (like 5am )to walk the dog
- really good at making meatloaf
- sleeps like the dead (he slept through the crash AFDBCMV)
- hes really good at bowling.
-he got that uhh southern accent ykwim
-
Jimmy
- always complains abt being cold
-sleeps with like 5 different blankets. Likes those weird furry blankets that almost look like animal fur (eww I'm retching at the thought)
- he grew up poor and is an only child (his brother killed himself)
- not sure to call this schizophrenia, but he has like hallucinations and delusions often. Voices in his head are. so. Loud.
- rather DIE than drink alcohol. Used 2 alot drink a lot tho
- used to self harm aalot with like shards of smashed bottles and anything sharp he could get his hands on. One time curly saw all the scars on his arms and asked about it but Jim said it was from a cat or smth and told him to fuck off. Curly believed him and Jimmy actually felt sad that hed thrown away his only opportunity to let someone know
- rlly dry skin
- so effing gay but would NEVER admit it. Literally dreams abt gay yaoi but says hes straight
- Doesn't know what pronouns are (he/him) once daisuke asked his pronouns and Jimmy just looked at him like "wtf is that"
- impulsive control disorder
- sleeps with socks on, sometimes even still wearing his shoes
- got 4 teeth punched out once
- wears clothes til they're falling apart at the seams
- pulled some of his hair out once and got super terrified
- hes dyslexic
- shitty ahh posture
- he has a crush on curly. But like he hardly knows it hes like no I'd never like a boy. One sided jimcurly yaaa..
- sometimes when it's just curly and him sitting silently he'll tell curly to shut tf up. And curly's like ????
- if he gets any sign hes losing in a board game he flips the table and storms away
- hes a mlp fan. Says "hey everypony"
@aznack
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howlsofbloodhounds · 1 day ago
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I've seen you're a pretty big Color fan; are there any fics you'd rec exploring Color through the lens of DID/OSDD/multiplicity? (If they also include him shipped with Killer, I don't mind that)
I have this little Color Spectrum Duo collection on AO3 if you want to try to get give it a look through.
Unfortunately, however, Color is not a very well known character—even less so on other sites like AO3, and it’s extremely hard to find any Color centric fics at all, let alone without Killer or through the lens of DID/OSDD1/ or even multiplicity/plurality.
However, @stellocchia has written a few Color centric fics before, and is currently(?) working on a Color focused fic that seems to involve the souls (and also Killer, Chara, and the characters from Something New and seemingly covers characters of Othertale as well through Color.)
I don’t know too much about the fic yet, as it seems to be still being written, but stellochia is makes up pretty much the bulk of color fics at the moment—and a lot of color fics on ao3 could’ve also been lost too, thanks to how tagging works over there. (Everybody say thank you to stellochia and every other creator who writes and draws color 🙏 )
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zepskies · 10 hours ago
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hi lovely!💗 first, I wanted to say that I hope this next year is filled with lots of love and light for you!!🫂 may all of 2025 be kind. 🫶🏽🙂‍↕️
you are for sure one of my favorite comfort blogs, besides how amazing your writing is you are so kind to everyone, your blog is filled with lovely interactions and it just feels like a big safe space <33 you have without a doubt helped me get through this trainwreck of a year lol :’)💕
for the asks, there are so many good onesss lol but i’ll only ask a few 😅 👉🏽👈🏽
1. describe your journey this year (in three words)
7. comfort character to create for
8. most challenging character to write
12. a concept you’d like to develop next year
13. a fic or artwork by another creator that made you happy
sidenote: I can’t wait to get home & read the final part of ATW :p have a wonderful day!!🤍🤍
Hello my lovely!! Same to you, friend! A lot of us have had a crappy 2024, me included, but you know what, we're here and we're getting through -- hopefully with a little kindness and support from our friends here. 💗
Wow, I'm honored to be one of your comfort blogs. 🥹🥹 I really appreciate you saying that mine feels like a "safe space" because that's exactly what I've tried to do. I'm truly grateful people who read my writing and interact with me on here. Like you, a lot of them have become mutuals and lovely friends. 💕
I talk to some people on here on a weekly basis now, and tbh those connections have not only fueled my creativity to keep writing, but have also just made me happier as a person. Or like you, they've gotten me through the hard times I've gone through this year. (I do reread comments and reblogs btw -- yours have never failed to make me smile. 🥰)
But yep, on to your EOY Asks before I just keep rambling on and throwing hearts at you. 💓💓💓
**Lots of fic recs/author recs below the cut!!
#1. describe your journey this year (in three words)
Oh God lol. Like I said, I've had a rough year personally. But in 3 words?
Exhausting. Painful. Creative.
I've been mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted for the better part of 9 months. I've been in physical pain and discomfort for much of that time and have had 2 surgical procedures, countless doctor visits, and too many life changes to list.
But through all of that, I feel like I've also done some of my most creative writing in 2023-2024 than ever before, including starting a Patreon, and dipping back into writing the fantasy romance novel I've been working on since grad school. Use the pain, I guess. 😅
#7. comfort character to create for
It's changed over the years depending on my fixations, but right now (and for the past 2 years), it's definitely Dean freakin' Winchester.
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#8. most challenging character to write
Lmfao. Definitely this guy:
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#12. a concept you’d like to develop next year
Oof, how much time you got? 🤣
I have a few WIPs that are already drafted and in the editing phases for next year -- including all of my remaining fics for @jacklesversebingo. (Jacklesverse Bingo24 Masterlist here!)
More specifically, I have plans to write sequel fics for the following series:
Break Me Down (Soldier Boy x Reader): Their son's first birthday, with a flashback to their wedding day.
Unravel Me (Soldier Boy x POC!Reader): The prequel series to Lost in Translation, in which Ben meets the reader (afro Latina).
Every Second Counts (Russell Shaw x Reader): Can Russell make good on his promise to "get out" and start his brewery? (AKA: his past comes knocking, and might just put the reader in danger. Diving deeper into the Shaw family history too.)
Take Me Home (Beau Arlen x Reader): @luci-in-trenchcoats put the idea of Beau and the reader from this series getting married into my head, and I feel like it would be a fun and somewhat angsty road to get there lol.
#13. a fic or artwork by another creator that made you happy
Again, how much time you got? 😂😂
I can rec so many of my mutuals and favorites here, so here's a few:
Dean Winchester
The Dangers of Hope (Endverse!Dean x reader) - @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior
Things Learned and Unlearned (Dean x reader)
Some Sunny Day series (Dean x OFC) - @talltalesandbedtimestories 💞
That’s How It Should Be (Sheriff!Dean x reader) - @rizlowwritessortof - and all of her Jackesverse bingo fics. 🤌🏽❤️‍🔥
NSFT Alphabet [Dean Winchester] - @chevroletdean
Feral (Alpha!Dean x reader) - @luci-in-trenchcoats
Wild Flower (Dean x reader) - @deanbrainrotwritings (so many rereads 🥵)
Remind Me (Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader) - @justagirlinafandomworld
Worthy (Dean x reader) - @thatonewriter15
Girls, Girls, Girls (Dean x OFC) - @spnbabe67 - plus so many of your other Dean x Tori fics.
Run Baby Run
I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight
Five Star (Dean x Indian POC!reader) - @artyandink
Taste (Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader) - @kittenofdoomage
A Simple Kinda Man (Dean x reader) - @impala-dreamer
Sam Winchester
Samnesia - @princessmisery666
English Cottage-verse - @sam-is-my-safe-word
Soldier Boy
Power Play (Soldier Boy x reader) - @venus-haze
She’s Out To Please, She Pouts Her Best (Soldier Boy x reader) (So many rereads 🥵)
Take a Chance on Me (Soldier Boy x supe!reader) - @lamentationsofalonelypotato
If The Stars Wish It So (Soldier Boy x soulmate!reader)
Beau Arlen
The Change (Alpha!Beau Arlen x Omega!Reader)
The Change: Beau - Sequel from Beau’s POV.
Polaris (Beau Arlen x reader) - @waynes-multiverse
Taken for Granted (Beau Arlen x reader) - @pink-sparkly-witch
The Fix (Beau Arlen x reader) - @waywardxwords
Russel Shaw
Tuesday's Gone (Russell Shaw x reader) - @pamwritessometimes
He's My Man (Russell Shaw x reader) - @luci-in-trenchcoats
Waiting for the Real Thing (Russell Shaw x OC) - @rizlowwritessortof
Thank you again @wvffles for being such a lovely support and friend to me this year! (Aw I hope you enjoy Part 4 of ATW! 💕💕)
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Suites & Sweets
freshman year at Jujutsu University Tokyo seems like it will be uneventful. and, well, that's true... until you meet the boys in the suite across the hall, and one in particular piques your interest.
satoru gojo x reader | jjk college au | no curse au | fem! reader | fluff, angst, & slow burn | SMAU & writing <3
introduction | previous | next PSA: mentions of panicking! ALSO: listen to kintsugi by lana del rey for the best reading experience <3 okay bye love you
₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.
ˋ°•*⁀➷˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 22. 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓒𝓤𝓡𝓢𝓔𝓓 𝓢𝓟𝓘𝓡𝓘𝓣𝓢: 𝓛𝓘𝓥𝓔 𝓘𝓝 𝓒𝓞𝓝𝓒𝓔𝓡𝓣 ⍣ ೋ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ ... wc: 9.3k (oops)
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You're finishing your eyeliner when Shoko appears behind you in your mirror, walking into your room. She's in a short black dress and has a vape in her hand - something she swears is helping her quit cigarettes. ("I said I'd quit smoking, not quit nicotine," she had told you when you noticed earlier, to which you scoffed out a "Sure.")
"We gonna leave soon? It's 7, didn't you wanna get there at 7:30 to catch Choso before he starts playing?" She asks as you watch her reflection in the mirror move closer.
"Yeah, almost finished," you answer, looking at your friend and smiling.
"'Kay," Shoko clicks her tongue. You look to face her as she reaches you. "'Cause the boys are coming any second to take our traditional round of shots before going out."
"I know, I know," you roll your eyes. You turn your head back toward the mirror to finish the last touches when Shoko's hand grabs your shoulder, stopping you.
"You don't have to force yourself to go out, y'know?" her voice is quiet, as if she doesn't want anyone else to hear.
You take a deep breath and stare back at her attentive eyes. "I want to go," you affirm. "I've been wanting to see Choso play for a minute now. I think it'll be nice. Good for me." You nod, though it is more to yourself than her, eyebrows furrowing for a moment before adding, "Plus, I'm getting tired of being so..."
"Stuck?" Shoko finishes, but the word carries so much to it. You have had years of friendship to learn about each other and form the close bond between you, that she probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Which mean she can likely tell you have a bit of shakiness to you, which is why your eyeliner has had to be been redone three times by now. She might have an idea that you're second guessing yourself from the number of clothes thrown on the floor from failed attempts at outfits. Which means she's already come to this conclusion: you're panicking.
You sigh in submission, looking down at the eyeliner in your hand. "Yeah, I guess," you admit, trying to smile but aware you're failing to make it look convincing. "I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of this."
Shoko watches you with bored eyes as you pivot to try to finish your eyeliner. She's quiet, but you know the gears are turning in her head. Her expression softens as she takes a couple paces to sit on the edge of your bed beside you at the mirror.
"I see," she thinks out loud. "You're not forcing yourself to go out because you want to see Choso," she says gently. "You’re forcing yourself to do this because you think it's what you should do. You're scared of staying home and letting yourself feel, aren't you?"
Her words hit you like a ton of bricks, too accurate for comfort. You swallow hard, trying to push the sudden wave of anxiety down. She is really the definition of tough love sometimes.
"Maybe," you mumble, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress. "But I don't want to just... hide away forever, you know? I can’t keep running from it."
Shoko’s gaze doesn’t waver. "You don't have to run. You don't have to act like everything’s fine either. It's okay to just... be, for a while." Her voice is soft, the calm tone only making the weight of her words feel heavier. "You don’t owe anyone anything tonight."
You turn to face her, the lump in your throat growing bigger. It’s hard to look at her, because Shoko knows how to call you out without making it feel like an attack. She sees through you, and she always has.
"I know. I just I thought if I went out, maybe I’d feel like myself again." You press your lips together, biting back the frustration building in your chest. "I don’t want to keep letting other people control me."
"You’re not controlling anything by distracting yourself, though," Shoko says quietly, her hand reaching for your arm, giving it a light squeeze. "You're just putting a bandage on it."
You close your eyes, feeling the sting of truth in her words. You feel tears forming, your face becoming warm in attempt to suppress your emotions. "I'm tired of feeling like this," you whisper.
"I know," she says, and there's no pity in her voice, just understanding. "But you're not alone, okay? You don’t have to hide it from me."
You nod, swallowing the lump invading your throat, and finally give her a small smile. "Thanks, Shoko."
"Listen," she begins. "You got through this last time. You will this time. And you'll be even stronger on the other side. You have me, Hime, and Mei. And Satoru - and, by the way, you need to catch me up on what's going on between you-"
"Nothing is going on between us!" you interject, but she continues talking as if you said nothing.
"-because I can tell something has shifted and I need to know everything. But that's for another night. Right now, you have all these people here for you, who miss you. We want what's best for you." She grins, nudging you with her shoulder. "So, if you want to go out, we’ll go out. But if you change your mind, we can always bail. Choso would understand," her voice is stern, yet so gentle and caring. She takes a deep inhale, putting her hands on your shoulders. "No pressure. Just... please don't do it because you think you have to."
You pause, thinking it over, before nodding again. "Yeah, you're right... I've been a bad friend-"
"Nuh-uh, no. Not that. We are not doing that. Are you aware of what you're going through right now?" Her tone is assuring as she looks down at her feet. "It's okay to not be able to give 100% all the time. Like I said, we're here for you. I'm here for you."
Tears begin to well in her eyes, and you reach out to her. She wraps you tightly in a hug. "I just want you to talk to me. After junior year, I promised myself I wouldn't let Naoya get to you again," Shoko says while releasing a shaky breath. "And I failed. I'm sorry-"
"Sho, no," you cut her off, backing away and grabbing her face. The two of you are a crying mess. "If I have no control over the situation, you don't either. Please, Sho."
Guilt wracks through you. Has she been feeling this way the whole time? But she's been holding it together, feeling responsible.
Wow.
Maybe this is really the reality check you needed.
You wipe the tear that escapes your eye, guilt mixing with a deep sense of gratitude as you look at your friend. "I had no idea you were carrying this too," you say, your voice cracking slightly. "I didn't mean for you to feel that way. I swear, I didn't want to burden anyone."
Shoko takes another large breath, letting it out slowly. "No, not a burden. Or an obligation. I want to carry this. I want to be there for you. You don't have to carry this all alone." Her hands are still on your arms, but there's a softness to her grip, as if she's reassuring both of you. She wipes her eyes, smirking through the vulnerability. "You're my best friend. I’m not gonna let you get torn down by this by yourself. If you ever need to cry, or yell, or just be a mess, I’m here. We’re all here, okay? Because, luckily for you, you have some stubborn ass friends. We're not going anywhere."
You let her words sink in, a weight lifting off your chest, a smile tugging at your lips. It doesn’t solve everything, but it’s a start. You’ve been so caught up in trying to manage things on your own, thinking that by pushing people away, you could somehow make it all better. But Shoko’s right. You don’t have to do it alone.
"Can- Can we make a pact?" she looks at you hesitantly.
"Depends on the pact," you laugh through the tears rolling down your face.
"If one of us says the magic word, we have to say what's on our minds," Shoko offers. "No matter what."
"What's the magic word?"
"Um...," she looks around the room, then seems to come to a conclusion. "Kintsugi."
"Why kintsugi?"
"Because why the hell else would we be saying kintsugi?"
"Fair point," you say and hold your pinkie out for her. "I promise. Kintsugi is the word."
"Promise," she mimics, then interlocks her pinkie with you own, sealing the deal.
You lean your forehead against hers for a brief moment. The look you share is one of words left unsaid, of forgiveness for mistakes, and of pure unconditional love between you and your dearest friend.
"I love you, you know that?" you say, emotion flooding every syllable. "I don't deserve you."
She scoffs lightly, pulling back and giving you a playful shove. "Shut up, you deserve everyone. Even me."
From the hallway, you hear a knock on your front door, Mei screaming she'll get it, a creaky door, and four male voices entering your suite.
Shoko turns to her reflection in your mirror, widening her eyes at her now messed up mascara. "Well, that's an issue." She giggles, standing up and brushing off her dress. "Let's fix this and go take that shot?"
A small laugh bubbles up from you.The tension in your shoulders loosens as you look at her, appreciating her more than you could express in words. "Sounds like a plan."
You grab some emergency makeup wipes and cotton swabs you had sitting in your vanity, handing some to Shoko. The weight of the conversation settles in your chest, but not in a way that weighs you down; for the first time in a while, you're hopeful. You're excited. You're ready to be happy.
Footsteps echo down the hall and closer to your room until, from the reflection of your doorway, a tall, white-haired man leans against it, hands in pockets as he looks at you in your leather jacket and red mini dress.
"Hey, pretty," he says when you turn to look at him. He's wearing a black button up, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and top few buttons undone, with black pants and sneakers. He then notices Shoko wiping her eyelid with a cotton swab and says, "Shoko."
"Freak," she greets without bothering to look at him.
"Hey, Satoru," you smile. His presence always finds a way to calm you. "One sec, we're doing the last touch-ups."
"I'm done," Shoko says, turning to you and giving you a look, her eyes saying oh you are so explaining this to me later and leaving the room.
"I'm almost done, I swear," you tell him, grabbing the eyeliner to finish the last little bit of your makeup. Satoru watches you from the entrance to your room.
"Take your time, sweets. I don't mind," he says, pushing off the doorframe and walking toward you at your mirror.
The day had gone by smoothly up to this point. Classes, which weren't as bad as you were expecting, then lunch with the Suites crew, and a spontaneous trip for boba with Satoru where he asked about ten times if you were certain about going out tonight. "Keep asking me that and I'll throw my shoe at you," you threatened, and although he conceded, you know he is still wary of how you are feeling and paying extra close attention to you.
Satoru rests a hand on your vanity, leaning down slightly to look at you in the mirror. His expression softens when your eyes meet, and a small smile pulls at his lips. You return it, turning to him fully, your eyeliner finally satisfying you. He takes his time memorizing your figure while you stare so innocently up at him, your soft grin emphasizing your radiant beauty.
“You’re gonna steal the show tonight,” he teases and pokes your cheek. There’s a sincerity in his tone that excites you.
You roll your eyes, though a faint blush creeps across your cheeks. “Please, Toru. I’m just trying to look somewhat decent."
“Decent?” he scoffs, straightening up. “If this is your idea of ‘decent,’ then I am very interested in how you look put together all fancy-like.”
You laugh, shaking your head as you finish the last stroke of your eyeliner. “You’re so dramatic.”
“Comes with the territory,” he replies with a grin.
“That, it does,” you say, You set it down and meet his eyes, and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart flutter. His gaze is warm, soft in a way that feels almost intimate, and you’re suddenly grateful for the light blush you applied earlier because it hides the one he’s causing now.
“So." He reaches out to gently tug on the sleeve of your oversized jacket. “Are you ready to steal hearts tonight, or just mine?” Satoru teases, his voice light but carrying that familiar undertone that always makes your pulse quicken.
You shake your head, a small laugh escaping. “I think stealing yours is more than enough work for one night.”
“Good answer,” he says, his grin widening. His hand lingers on your sleeve for a moment before he lets it drop, as if reluctant to pull away.
Before you can respond, Mei’s voice cuts through the air from the living room. “Guys! Are we doing this or what? I could be on my third shot by now!”
Satoru rolls his eyes but offers you a hand. “Shall we, my lady?”
You take it, his hand warm and firm in your own, and let him lead you out of your room. Shoko is already in the living room with Mei, Utahime, and the guys, who are gathered around the kitchen island. Mei is pouring some alcohol into shot glasses, glass bottle almost empty from previous nights of fun.
“Finally,” Utahime drawls when she sees you. “Thought we were gonna have to send a search party.”
You stick your tongue out at her playfully. “Beauty takes time, Hime. Don't you know this?”
“And some of us need more time than others,” Mei quips back, earning a chuckle from Shoko.
Satoru steps in, his arm draping over your shoulder casually, though the gesture feels protective. “Leave her alone, you two. She’s already putting all of you to shame.”
"Judge, I object," Utahime puts her free hand up as if telling Satoru to stop, turning her head away in disgust. "He is obviously biased."
"I second that," Yu nods his head.
Satoru lets out a dramatic gasp, clutching his chest. “Biased? Me? I am offended—nay, wounded—by such accusations.”
Shoko rolls her eyes. “Wounded my ass.”
Mei chuckles, setting the shot glasses on the counter. “Okay, stop fighting, let’s get this over with so we can actually leave. Tequila waits for no one. I'm sure Choso's band doesn't either.”
In response, everyone gathers around the kitchen island, Satoru slides a glass in front of you and himself.
"Here’s to making it through the week," Suguru says, raising his glass in a toast.
"And to not running away," you add with a small grin, your heart feeling a little lighter as you clink your glass against his.
"To not running away," everyone echoes, and you take the shot with a sense of camaraderie, feeling the warmth spread through your chest.
Maybe, just maybe, you can do this. One step at a time.
The group erupts into playful banter, but Satoru doesn’t move his arm, and you don’t make him. You feel a sense of belonging in the warmth of the room, in the laughter and teasing, in the way Satoru’s thumb absentmindedly traces small circles on your shoulder, a subtle method to ground you.
-----
The bar isn't too far from your dorm, but the autumn chill nips at your bare legs for the entire walk. Inside Levi's, however, is quite the opposite, hitting you like a wave of hot, stuffy air.
The room is bathed in moody neon lights - red and purple hues bouncing off the brick walls, casting shadows that move like living things. It’s packed but not suffocating; it's the kind of crowd that feels alive without overwhelming you. Your group files in, Mei leading the charge with a confident strut as if she owns the place. Utahime follows, muttering something about needing a drink immediately, while Shoko scans the room with her usual cool detachment.
Satoru stays close to you, his hand placed near your lower back as if silently guiding you through the crowd. The touch is light but reassuring, and you feel a little less out of place with him at your side.
"I have to find Choso!" you announce soon after walking in, speaking loudly against the loud music. "You coming, Yu?"
"Yeah!" he grins and gives you a thumbs up.
Mei turns to you, already setting her sights on the bar. "What do you want to drink? I'll get it for you," she asks.
"Hmm, vodka cranberry?" you reply, glancing over your shoulder at her.
"I got you," she says with a wink, turning on her heel and heading toward the bar.
"Grab us a table with a good view," you say to Utahime, who salutes, then follows after Mei, who raises her hand to grab the attention of a bartender. Shoko waves, and Suguru and Kento walk with them, chatting amongst themselves as they make their way to the alcohol.
You turn to notice Satoru still standing next to you. "You can go with them, if you want," you offer, voice louder than usual to cut through the pulsing of the DJ's speakers. "If you want to stay with everyone else-"
"Nah," Satoru leans closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he cuts you off, voice a smooth whisper in the cacophony. Shivers are sent down your spine and you swear you have goosebumps, even with how warm it is. "I wanna tag along. Just lead the way, baby."
A teasing glance over your shoulder is all you can offer before you slip through the crowd, Satoru staying right behind you, a constant presence you can feel without having to look. Yu follows, his excitement tangible as he navigates the sea of people with ease.
The music envelops you. Its bass vibrates through your body, a pulse that feels like it's coming from the very walls of the building. The lights flicker in time with the beat, casting a surreal glow over the entire room, giving everything a euphoric quality. The crowd moves in sync, almost hypnotic as they sway to the rhythm like a living being.
Levi's isn’t just a bar - it’s a maze. It's a labyrinth of bodies and lights that shifts every time you look away. Each step feels precarious, like a game of chance. One wrong move and you’ll be lost, caught in the tide of people that ebb and flow with the music.
Your eyes scan every corner of the room until you finally land on Choso. He stands near the back, tucked beside the slightly raised stage. He’s dressed in all black with a focused look on his face as he tunes his electric guitar.
"There he is," you say, nodding toward Choso. You turn to Satoru, who’s following closely behind, and he gives a short nod of acknowledgement before continuing to trail behind you.
Yu’s excitement skyrockets. "Yay!" he practically shouts, taking the lead and weaving through the crowd with surprising speed. You watch him speed up, practically running to Choso, who looks up and notices. With a smile, he puts his guitar down to greet Yu with a side hug.
You follow behind with Satoru close beside you. His body brushes against yours once in a while, the briefest contact, but enough that you’re acutely aware of how close he is, how the rhythm of his movements somehow aligns with yours.
“Hey,” Choso greets once you reach him, his deep voice somehow cutting through the music. His gaze flicks to Satoru briefly, giving him a polite nod before returning to you, then to Yu. “Glad you could make it!"
“Choso!" you greet, wrapping your arms around him excitedly. "Of course! Wouldn’t miss it,” you let go of him, backing up and offering him a genuine smile.
"Yeah, man!" Yu says. "Of course we'd come!"
You gesture to the blue-eyed boy beside you. "This is our friend Satoru, by the way."
Satoru gives a playful wave, his usual easygoing demeanor shining through. “Pleasure to meet you, Choso.”
"Nice to meet you, too!" he says with a small, genuine smile, the kind that reaches his eyes.
"I'm sorry we got here so late," you say, feeling a twinge of guilt. "I-"
Choso waves it off with a soft chuckle, his expression warm and unbothered. "Hey, no, it's okay. I'm glad you're even here at all!" his smile is so genuine, it makes you smile. He glances between you and Yu. "Where are you sitting?"
"Not sure yet," Yu responds. "Our other friends were grabbing drinks and a table."
"But I told them to try and get close, so hopefully they listen!" you add.
From behind the stage, someone calls Choso's name. "I'll look for you after," Choso chuckles, ruffling your hair before giving you a thumbs-up. "Gotta go, thanks for saying hi!"
From behind a curtain hiding the backstage from the general crowd, a boy with pink hair comes out. "Um, hey, bro. You ready to play?" he queries.
"Yeah, yeah," Choso says while already in the process of grabbing his guitar. "I'm coming."
"Good luck!" you say to both Choso and pink hair.
Choso gives you a quick nod and a smile before disappearing behind the curtain, his guitar strap slipping over his shoulder as he walks toward the stage. The pink-haired boy follows, his energy buzzing with anticipation, and he gives Choso a playful nudge. You watch them go, the atmosphere in the room seeming to shift with their departure, as if everyone is waiting for the performance to begin.
The air around you is thick with excitement now, everyone’s eyes starting to turn toward the stage. The DJ’s music transitions into a softer, more ambient beat, setting the tone for the performance. A sense of collective anticipation fills the space, and you can feel the energy in the room begin to build. You turn, scanning the crowd again, and spot your friends at a table on the side wall, the perfect spot with a great view of stage. Mei is holding space for your group at a table with an impressive view of the stage, a drink already in her hand, while Utahime lounges in the corner with a mimosa in front of her. Shoko, as usual, looks perfectly composed, her attention flitting between the crowd and her phone, glass of something dark and definitely strong at her lips. Kento sits back, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches the chaos unfold around him.
"Found them," you say, your voice lifted just enough to be heard over the DJ. Yu grins, excitement still evident in his eyes as he speeds ahead, his long legs helping him navigate through the crowd faster than the rest of you. Satoru stays close behind, his hand placed lightly against your back, the small connection grounding you in the whirlwind of lights and music.
As you approach, Utahime notices you, her eyes lighting up. “Finally!” she calls out, waving enthusiastically. “Took you guys long enough!”
“Yeah, this place is like an obstacle course," you say. You slide into the seat beside Utahime, grateful to be out of the crowded space for a moment. Satoru and Yu sit across from you, Satoru's long legs knocking against yours as he relaxes into his spot.
Kento offers a nod of acknowledgment from across the table, his calm demeanor never shifting. "Glad you made it through the chaos." His gaze sweeps over the table, a slight smirk curling on his lips. "You guys didn’t lose anyone, did you?"
"Not yet," you chuckle, stealing a glance at Yu, who is already deep in conversation with Suguru, likely discussing the music lineup. His energy is almost tangible, electrifying in a way that could power the entire room.
Shoko raises an eyebrow, her eyes shifting from her phone to you. “Found Choso?”
“Yeah,” you answer with a grin. “He’s back there getting ready to play. We’ll catch up with him after!”
And the next thing you know, the lights are dimming and Choso is walking out onto the stage, guitar in hand. The pink-haired boy follows, and a tall, muscular man walks on after.
Pinky boy reaches the center microphone and says, "Hello, again, Levi's!" He raises his guitar in hand and shouts, "I'm YuujI!"
Yuuji as in... Sukuna's brother?
They both have pink hair, so it makes sense. Plus, you're certain Yuuji is his brother's name. That's who Ino mentioned in his texts to Satoru, right?
The world is getting smaller and smaller.
"Todo." Muscle boy sits at the drums, tapping his drumsticks together, starting a beat in the background of their introductions.
Your attention is regained by Choso speaking into the mic, "I'm Choso, and we're The Cursed Spirits!"
Their music fills the air, loud and exciting.
Utahime gasps. She has to scream over the music, "You didn't tell me Choso is so hot?!"
"Yes I did!" you respond loudly. "I told you he played guitar! What do you think that meant?"
Shoko, drink in hand, shouts over the growing noise, "She's got a point!"
"They're not bad," Kento comments, his voice slightly drowned out by the music as he takes a casual sip of his beer.
"Yeah! They're good, right?" Yu agrees. Choso has shared his music with you two before, in class and getting coffee, but hearing it live is a completely different thing.
It's an entire experience.
The music flows through the room, the energy vibrating in the air as Choso's deep voice fills the microphone, Yuuji's harmonizing perfectly. Despite the slight unease that lingers from your earlier conversation with Satoru, the atmosphere of the club lightens your mood. It’s a welcome distraction, a chance to escape the tangled thoughts in your head, if only for a moment.
You smile, eyes landing on Satoru across from you. His face artwork, you think as you stare at it, eyes tracing the curve of his nose. To your dismay, eyes meet yours, and for a brief moment, the noise and chaos of the club feel distant, like it's just the two of you in this tiny, quiet world.
You quickly look away, pretending to focus on the band again, but your smile betrays you. Satoru notices, of course, and his grin widens in response.
By the time their set is over, you feel like you've lost your voice. They played old hits, like Zombie by The Cranberries and The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. It was mesmerizing, and they were all extremely talented. The whole band was on fire, their energy infectious, and you can’t help but feel a little lighter than when you first walked in.
With a final goodbye, Choso thanks the crowd, and the band members exit the stage.
After about ten minutes, your rockstar friend finds his way to your table, his brothers in tow. Without a second thought, you leap from. your seat.
"You were so good!" you exclaim, almost breathless from the excitement.
"Thanks! I'm glad you liked it." He shrugs. His eyes sparkle under the club lights, still full of adrenaline from the set.
"Gonna introduce us?" Utahime pokes into your conversation from beside you.
"Right!" you say, turning to your friends. Skipping Yu in front, you begin with the girl beside him. "Choso, this is Utahime and Shoko. That's Mei. Those three are my roommates. That's Suguru, Kento." Kento puts his hand up in a polite greeting." You met Satoru already."
"Hi everyone," Choso greets. "Thank's for coming!"
"Hi, I think I'm in love with you," Utahime deadpans, eyes wide directed at Choso.
A laugh erupts from the bo beside her. "Consider us your first fan club," Yu announces, making Choso laugh.
"New fan club?" Mei chimes in, her sharp eyes flicking between Choso and the rest of the group. She leans forward, resting her chin on her hand with a sly smile. "Hm, I guess I'll join."
Utahime, who hasn’t taken her eyes off Choso since he walked out on stage, glares playfully at Mei. "Don’t scare him off, Mei. I think he actually likes us so far."
"Don’t worry about me," Choso replies, a hint of humor in his tone. "I think I can handle it."
You giggle. "Just you wait."
People from the club compliment them as they walk past, some girls going so far to ask for a picture with the bandmates. Choso humbly obliges with a soft smile gracing his features as he poses between Yuuji and Todo. The three brothers radiate charisma, their energy still buzzing from the performance.
At some point, Mei rises to grab some more drinks from the bar.
Choso returns to the table after taking a couple more photos, looking sheepish. "Sorry about that. Happens sometimes after gigs."
"It's fine," you assure him with a grin. "I mean, it’s not every day you see someone you know getting fangirled over."
"You really have a following, huh?" Shoko remarks.
Utahime, still clearly infatuated, mutters, "For good reason."
Choso chuckles, running a hand through his hair, clearly still a little embarrassed by the attention. "I guess I’m not used to it yet. It’s all a bit overwhelming." His gaze flits toward the crowd, where a couple more fans wave at him from across the room. "But, uh... I’m glad you all came out tonight. Really means a lot."
"Of course we came!" Utahime says, still giddy. "This was so much fun! Your band is ah-maze-ing."
"Thanks," Choso replies, a shy smile tugging at his lips. "We’ve been working on some new stuff, so it’s good to see people enjoying it."
"So," Shoko says, leaning forward with her glass in hand, her eyes gleaming with mischief, "any chance we get to see more of you performing live? I think I speak for everyone when I say we’d love to see another show."
Choso laughs, a soft blush creeping up his neck. "You guys would really come to another one? I mean, I’d love for you all to come. We’re still figuring out our next gig, but yeah, I’ll let you know."
"Yeah! You guys are great!" Yuuji says. "Do you go to Jujutsu University, too? My brother goes there!"
You nod. "I'm guessing it's Sukuna?" you query.
Yuuji looks to you. "Yeah! What gave it away?" He gasps. "Was it my hair?" His hand rubs the top of his hair.
"Wait, I thought you and Choso are brothers?" Kento says, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"Yeah, we are too! Same with me and Todo! The family is a little complicated, I guess," he smiles in amusement at the joke that is his family tree. His cheeks start to turn a little pink as he leans back, looking at Choso with a hint of embarrassment for having overshared.
Choso lets out a low chuckle, shrugging slightly. "It’s not that complicated, just a bit messy," he says, a modest smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "But it works."
"When isn't family complicated?" Satoru asks. "Or chaotic?"
"He has a point," Suguru chimes in.
"Yeah," you giggle. "Though, you’re much less… intimidating than he is."
Yuuji lets out a loud, hearty laugh, visibly pleased by the compliment. "I’ll take that as a win!" He grins, his eyes sparkling. "Sukuna’s got that scary vibe down, huh? I try not to be too unapproachable."
"You're doing great!" you giggle, and with that, the topic shifts to Todo's drumming skills.
As everyone chats, the club’s energy swirls around you, with each new conversation creating more threads between you and the people around you. Despite the chaos of a club, there's a sense of comfort in knowing you're surrounded by good people, even if the world around you keeps shrinking in ways you didn’t expect. It feels like things are settling into place.
Loud music continues to play in the background, but the noise of the club fades into a comfortable hum in the background. Choso, still flushed from the excitement of the performance, lounges back in his chair, his fingers absently tapping against his drink. He's engaged with your table's conversation, and while the attention from a fan in the audience catches his attention every now and then, it doesn’t seem to faze him as much anymore, though there’s still a slight awkwardness when people come up to him. It’s clear that the spotlight, while flattering, is something he’s still adjusting to.
Looking across the table, your eyes land on Satoru, who sits comfortably, something of a casual confidence emitting from him. He’s leaning back casually, watching the conversations unfold with a slight grin. Again, to your dismay, his eyes meet yours, and there's a flicker of something behind them - maybe amusement? He catches you staring and raises an eyebrow, a silent challenge in the way he looks at you, as if daring you to ask him what’s going through his mind. You smirk, turning your attention back to the band members.
Mei slides back into her with a flourish, holding a tray of shots. "Miss me?" she asks, her mischievous grin widening as she sets the tray down on the table. "Answer correctly, and I'll give you a shot."
"Always, Mei," you tease, your grin matching hers as you reach for one of the shots. "You're the life of the party - only if you're not drinking wine."
"Okay, fair," she laughs, then passes a shot to you, your friends all taking turns grabbing one from the tray. The club’s lights flicker as the music shifts, but for now, your group is content in your own little bubble.
"Cheers to the band!" Yu declares, raising his glass.
Everyone joins in, lifting their drinks and echoing her sentiment. "To the band!" The clink of glasses is barely audible over the music, but it doesn’t matter.
As the shots are downed and the buzz of alcohol adds to the already electric atmosphere, Yuuji turns to Choso with a mischievous grin. "Dude, you have to tell them about that time you fell off the stage during rehearsal."
Choso groans, already bracing for the worst. "Why would you bring that up? No one needs to know about that."
Yuuji grins wider, clearly relishing the opportunity to embarrass his older brother. "Because it was epic! He tripped over his own mic cable, like, mid-riff, and then-" Yuuji doubles over with laughter, barely able to get the words out, "-he landed on top of Todo! The sound Todo made- oh my god, it was like he got hit by a truck!"
Todo, wise smile on his face, shakes his head, a small but amused smile tugging at his lips. "To be fair, it did feel like I got hit by a truck. Choso's not exactly light."
The table erupts into laughter, Utahime nearly spitting out her drink. "Oh my god, I need to see this. Please tell me there’s a video."
Choso’s face flushes as he waves a hand dismissively. "There is no video. And even if there was, you’d never see it."
Yuuji smirks, clearly enjoying himself. "That’s what he thinks."
Utahime leans forward, her eyes lighting up. "Yuuji, you’re my new favorite person. If you can get your hands on that video, I’ll buy you a drink."
"Done," Yuuji replies instantly, and Choso buries his face in his hands.
You feel a foot tapping yours and look up to find Satoru staring at you. His smirk grows when your eyes meet, and he nudges your foot again, this time with more purpose. You raise an eyebrow, and turn away, back to the conversation.
You can play whatever game he's playing, too.
"The setlist was well-curated," Kento comments as you're tuning back in.
"Thanks," Choso says, genuinely touched. "We’ve been working on some originals, too. Maybe next time we’ll debut one."
“Yeah, that was definitely one of the best crowds we've had,” Yuuji adds, his enthusiasm contagious. “I swear, the crowd was louder than we were at some points. It’s crazy to think that all these people are here for us.”
"I was screaming, like, the whole time," Utahime brags.
"Clearly, Utahime likes you more than us already," Satoru pokes, shooting a teasing glance at her.
Utahime turns bright red, her eyes narrowing at Satoru. "I—! That’s not—! Satoru, shut up!" She grabs her napkin and throws it at him, but he catches it mid-air with a smirk.
"You wound me, Utahime," Satoru says dramatically, pressing the napkin to his chest as though he’s been shot. "I’m just trying to help you live your truth."
"Why can't you help by being quiet? That'll sure help me live my truth," she snaps, but there’s no malice in her tone, only the exasperation of someone who’s used to dealing with him.
"Hey, don’t fight in front of the band," Yu interjects before Satoru can say anything. "They might think we’re not cool."
Choso laughs softly and shakes his head. "Don’t worry. It’s nice to hang out with people who aren’t afraid to give each other a hard time. Makes me feel at home."
"Is that your way of saying we bully each other?" Shoko deadpans, raising her glass. "Because you wouldn’t be wrong."
Choso shrugs with a sheepish grin. "Maybe."
Yuuji, clearly enjoying the moment, leans forward with a mischievous grin. "Yeah, definitely. Bullying each other is basically how we show love, right? That's what Sukuna does, at least."
You take a sip from your drink, watching the group interact with each other. There's something about this moment, the ease and comfort of being surrounded by your friends, that makes you feel grounded.
After a beat of watching the banter continue, a question crosses your mind, and you casually ask, "Do you guys ever get nervous before a performance?"
"Yeah," Choso smiles, blush creeping up his neck. "Honestly, tonight was nerve-wracking because I wanted to impress your friends."
"Really?" you ask, your voice teasing but warm. "You were nervous about impressing us? You killed it!"
"I just didn't want to disappoint you all. I hope I didn't!" Choso's nerves start to get to him.
You smile, touched by his sincerity. "You didn't disappoint anyone. You were amazing, Choso." You lean over to him slightly, offering him a reassuring look. "Seriously, everyone had a great time."
Choso meets your gaze and gives a small, appreciative nod. "Thanks!"
"We should go talk to our crew," Todo says. "And there's others we gotta thank, so we should get goin'."
"Yeah, sorry guys, gotta go!" Yuuji says, smile wide as ever.
After exchanging goodbyes and a final few thank yous, they walk toward the stage and the workers beside it. The chatter doesn't stop, however; your friends and you continue enjoying each other's company, the conversations flowing effortlessly. The dim lighting in the room, the soft hum of music, and the clink of glasses create a cozy atmosphere as everyone settles into the comfortable rhythm of the night.
Once more, your foot is nudged by someone else's. You look to Satoru who's watching you with a playful, knowing glint in his eyes. His foot taps yours again, this time with more insistence.
You turn away again, smiling to yourself at the fun little game you started.
"Wait, Mei," Yu says all of the sudden. "Didn't you say you were bringing someone?"
Mei looks at him confused for a moment. Then, she makes an oh sound as if understanding the question and asks, "My pookie?"
"Yeah, I think so!" Yu says, and Mei leans her head against her han
"Shit, I forgot about that," Shoko comments.
"I forgot to tell you guys, but her lame ass bailed. I think I'm done with her. The rooftop was nice but she seriously needs to get over her boyfriend and, maybe, figure herself out," Mei rolls her eyes.
"Weird," you grimace. "Was she even real?"
"Honestly, maybe not," Mei sighs. "A girl can dream."
"Maybe she was just a figment of your imagination," Suhuru grins, clearly amused. "Like a ghost from your past, haunting your texts."
"Stop," Mei groans, rolling her eyes. "I don’t need you adding more fuel to the fire."
The group erupts into laughter, and you smile. It’s moments like these that make everything feel right—surrounded by people who accept you for who you are, flaws and all. You’re all misfits in your own way, but together, it’s like everything just clicks.
At some point, Kento breaks everyone's hearts.
"We have classes tomorrow, we should leave soon."
"Do you hate fun?" Mei groans.
"No, he's right," Shoko counters. "It's midnight, and we still have to walk back."
"I hate that you're always right," Utahime mutters under her breath.
"We going, then?" Suguru checks.
Quickly, you send Choso a text: leaving now jsyk!! thanks for the invite :), and he responds almost immediately with: thanks be safe!!! i'll let you know when our next show is!
Following your friends, you exit the club. Satoru's pace beside you matches yours as you exit. Once outside, he nudges you with his elbow.
"Hey, angel," he says.
"Hi Satoru," you return with an innocent smile. "What's up?"
"Nothin' much. Just wondering why you were starin' at me so much, hm?" He pokes your shoulder.
"I don't know what you're talking about," you respond, and he chuckles.
"Oh, you definitely were," he teases. "You got all flustered, too. You're adorable when you're embarrassed."
Satoru's teasing lingers in the air, but there’s something comfortable about the silence between you two. The cool night breeze wraps around you both, and the sounds of the city - honking cars, distant chatter, the hum of life - seem to blend together with the lightness of the evening. You glance at Satoru out of the corner of your eye, catching the playful spark in his gaze as he walks beside you, his hands tucked casually in his pockets.
“You sure you don’t know what I’m talking about?” he presses, his voice low but still full of that teasing tone. “Because, you know, when someone keeps looking at me like that, I can't help but wonder what's going on in their head."
You let out a small, amused sigh, not wanting to admit how much his attention actually affects you. "Maybe I was just lost in thought. Ever think of that?" you counter, your voice lighthearted, trying to brush off his question.
Satoru smirks. "Mhm, sure. Those thoughts seem a little... distracted." He pauses for a moment, his tone turning serious. "Are you alright, baby?"
"Yeah, Toru, I'm good," you send him a quick smile. "Why?"
"Just checkin' in on you. I'm proud of you, y'know?" he says, and you furrow your brows. "I'm serious."
The sincerity in his words catches you off guard, and for a moment, you're speechless. You hadn't expected this side of him, especially after all the playful banter.
You smile, the warmth in your chest spreading as you meet his gaze. "I appreciate it, Toru. It means a lot, especially coming from you."
He gives you a gentle nudge, the smirk returning to his lips, though it's not as teasing this time. "Just make sure you keep kicking ass," he adds with a wink. "It's hot."
You choke on air. "Will do!"
Shoko calls your name from ahead. "Hurry up!" You glance up, catching Shoko's voice cutting through the quiet air, and see her standing a little farther ahead with the others, waiting for you and Satoru.
You nod, trying to recover from the moment of embarrassment. "Yeah, yeah, we're coming!" You quicken your step, pulling ahead of Satoru just slightly, though you can still feel his presence beside you, the easy confidence he exudes somehow calming even in the chaos of the night.
You fall in line with Shoko, and for the rest of the walk home, your group stays close as you walk together through the quiet streets, past homes, heading to the path that leads to your sleepy university. The stars shine above you, lamps dimly illuminating the ground. It's a beautiful campus, and even more beautiful during a full moon.
A yawn escapes you, and you laugh. "So, I'm definitely going to need coffee in the morning," you joke.
"Same," Kento replies with a groan, rubbing his eyes dramatically. "I'm already planning my entire morning around caffeine. If I don’t have it, I’ll probably end up asleep in class."
"Honestly, I’m just hoping I make it to class in the first place," Yu laughs, his voice light and carefree. "You know, one of those days where you just pray you wake up on time."
Suguru gives Yu a playful shove. "Sounds like a you problem. But I guess I’m not judging. I’d probably skip, too, if I could get away with it."
"Don’t even joke about that," Shoko grumbles. "If I have to drag you all out of bed, I will. I’m already considering bribing my alarm clock to work harder tomorrow."
You laugh at the image of that in your head, knowing full well Shoko is serious about that kind of thing. "We’ll see how well that works," you tease. "God, we’re all going to be caffeine addicts by the end of this semester."
"I already am one," Mei quips, flashing a grin. "Don’t even need to wait for the end. I’m fully on the coffee train."
"Don't you think it's weird how we've only known the guys for, like, a month?" Utahime ponders out loud.
"Yeah," Yu agrees. "I feel like I've known all four of you so long already!"
You glance at your friends, your heart light. It’s strange how quickly you’ve all connected, how easy it is to laugh together, to just be together. Despite the differences, the chaos, the occasional miscommunication, there’s something undeniably comforting about this group.
"It's like we're a little family," you agree.
Satoru giggles. "Shoko's our mom, Kento's dad. Obviously."
"You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to being the cool aunt," Utahime adds with a wink, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I could definitely get behind that role."
"Then I’m the rebellious cousin," Yu says with a grin, hands making wild gesticulations. "Always getting into trouble and dragging everyone else into it."
"At this rate," Mei says, a smirk on her face, "we should just start a family reunion next weekend. What do you think?"
"I’d be down," Suguru agrees, grinning. "Could use more of these chaotic family dinners."
The conversation lulls for a moment until you hesitantly say, "Sorry for being MIA the past week, guys."
"Hey, don't apologize! Did you have fun at least?" Yu questions.
You look at him walking behind you and smile. "Yes! Lots. I'm glad I went."
Utahime nods her head beside Yu. "That's all that matters, then."
"You looked happy to be there," Suguru comments.
You smile softly at the unexpected sentiment, feeling grateful for the friends around you. "You all make everything better, you know that?"
Reaching the dorm building, Mei opens the door. Kento rushes to grab it from her and backs away to hold it open for the rest of the group. Everyone files in, scanning their JJU IDs to allow access - a safety procedure for campus.
The walk to your respective Suites was short and quiet, sans the sound of everyone's footsteps. At the intersection between 12A and 12B, you're sad to see that it's time to part.
You give each of the boys a quick hug goodnight, hugging Satoru last, and longer. His grip is tight, his body warm against you. You feel his lips press against your forehead, then he murmurs into your ear, "Night, angel."
"Night, Toru," you say back, smiling at him before you enter your dorm, Utahime following and closing the door. The girls are already talking about plans for tomorrow, but you can’t help but feel a little caught up in the tenderness of the night.
"Okay, okay," Mei says after lookin in the peephole to be sure the boys are in their suite and couldn't eavesdrop. "Satoru seems to be the reason you're all mushy now."
You laugh, rolling your eyes. "No, I'm just grateful is all."
"Be honest," Utahime leans kitchen counter. "You like him or not?
There's a tense silence that thickens the air in the room as everyone looks at you, awaiting a response.
Suddenly, you chuckle softly. There's a playful glint in your eyes as they glance between your roommates. "I think you all know the answer to that..."
The teasing smiles on Mei and Utahime's faces widen as they exchange knowing glances. Shoko leans back, raising an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the moment.
"Do we?" Mei raises a challenging eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "You’ve been a bit... coy about it."
You shrug, trying to keep up the act. "I don’t know what you're talking about. I’m just... being myself?"
Utahime laughs, clearly unconvinced. "Being yourself, huh? You like him. It's that simple."
"Okay, okay," you give in with a dramatic sigh, throwing your hands up in mock surrender. "Fine. I like him. I like him a lot. Happy now?"
There’s a brief moment of silence before all three girls burst out laughing.
"Yes!" Mei exclaims, pointing dramatically at you. "Told you! I knew it."
Shoko leans in, her smile softening as she crosses the room to sit beside you. "It’s cute, you know. The way you two look at each other. But don't rush it, okay? Take it one step at a time. No pressure. But you're gonna tell us everything."
You nod, relieved by the sincerity in her voice. "I know. I’m just... trying to figure things out. It's a lot to process."
Mei, noticing the seriousness in your voice, softens a bit, her teasing tone giving way to something more understanding. "It's okay to take your time. You're not in any rush!" She gives a playful nudge to your shoulder. "And we’re here for the ride, no matter what. Satoru's a good guy, you know. He’s been pretty obvious about how he feels."
Your face scrunches in thought. "Huh? I don't even really know how he feels," you add.
The girls exchange glances. Mei shifts a little closer, her voice softer now. "What do you mean? He's obvious, right? He's always with you, talking to you, about you. He's all over you, really."
You sigh, leaning back against the couch. "I know, but sometimes I wonder if it's just his... well, Satoru energy, you know? He's always like that - so confident, always playing around, acting like it’s no big deal." You fidget with your sleeve, unsure of how to put your thoughts into words. "I guess I just don't want to make anything weird between us. He's been so great, but-"
"Wait, you think Satoru doesn't know how he feels?" Utahime interrupts, arching an eyebrow. "Girl, he definitely knows. And so do you. Don't act like you're not into him. You wouldn’t be this shy about it if you weren’t."
You bite your lip, trying to suppress a smile. "I’m not shy," you mumble, but the way your heart skips a beat whenever you think about him says otherwise. "Okay, maybe I’ve been overthinking it. I just don’t want to mess it up, okay? After Ino...."
"I get it. After everything with Ino, it’s normal to be cautious. You don’t want to rush into anything or get hurt again." Shoko's voice is laced with understanding.
Utahime leans in, her tone more serious than usual. "That's why you’ve got us, right? We’ve got your back, no matter what. You can take your time with Satoru or anyone. Don’t let the past dictate what happens now. We’re all learning, growing, figuring things out as we go."
You smile, touched by her words. "Thanks, guys. I really needed to hear that."
Shoko gives you a gentle nudge. "And remember, Satoru’s not going to pressure you into anything. He’s been patient, so he knows what’s up. He’s got your back, too, you know."
A warm feeling spreads in your chest at the thought of Satoru. "Yeah, he does. I just... I don’t know what to do with all these feelings sometimes."
Mei, with her usual mischievous grin, teases, "Well, at least you're not trying to hide them anymore. That's a step, right?"
There’s a comfortable pause as the girls nod in agreement. Mei, ever the one to break the tension, grins mischievously. "And, just remember, when you’re ready to make it official, we expect an invite to the celebration dinner."
You roll your eyes, trying to suppress your laughter. "If that ever happens, I’ll be sure to let you know."
Utahime smirks, her arms still crossed. "Oh, it’ll happen. We all know it’s only a matter of time before you two become official. You can’t hide that kind of chemistry forever."
"Now, let’s get some rest," Shoko insists. "You have an eight A.M. class."
"Ugh, don't remind me," you say as you drag a hand across your face. "But fine. Night everyone!"
With one last laugh, you head to your room, feeling a little lighter than you did earlier. You felt genuine joy today, and you're glad you pushed yourself to go out. You missed your friends. They really lift you up.
As you make your way to your room, the weight of the day starts to settle in, but it's a comfortable kind of exhaustion. The laughter and teasing from your friends linger in your mind, a warm reminder of how lucky you are to have them by your side. It's easy to forget how much they've become a part of your life in such a short time, but tonight, it feels like everything has fallen into place.
You close the door behind you and shed your clothes, slipping into something more comfortable. You sit on your bed for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting the silence wash over you. Your thoughts drift back to Satoru, his smile, the way he looked at you tonight, the challenge in his eyes, the softness of his touch. It’s easy to get lost in the warmth of those moments, but you push the thoughts aside for now.
You know you need to rest—class comes too quickly in the morning. But before you settle in, you pull out your phone, letting your fingers hover over Satoru's contact name for a moment. There's a hesitation, an uncertainty. What if you're reading too much into it? What if he's just being his usual self?
The thought nags at you, but you decide to send him a message anyway.
A notification of a text from Satoru tells you he beat you to it.
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hi everyone :3
this was a challenge to write. I thought it was going to go a very different way but then my fingers typed this... sigh anyway
i hope everyone likes it, because ive been trying to weave in yn's connections and relationships with other character than just gojo, like choso too! i feel like it adds a depth that is hard to find with focusing on just one relationship. just wondering (if anyone wants to respond to this or even reads it lol) if you guys would prefer me to just stick to gojo or find the shoko conversation boring or unnecessary?? lmk pls!! i wanna make this as enjoyable to read as it is to write!!!!
guys we haven't even reached the most dramatic part... that's a few chapters away. but i wanted to thank everyone for all the love i've been receiving lately <3 it makes my heart so warm. I've been feeling really motivated lately and i'd have to credit a lot of that to everyone who supports me :))) just want everyone to know i really really do appreciate you and am so happy you are (hopefully) enjoying this series !! it's been a blast to write and I can't wait for you all to see what I have planned !!
i love you all <3 - c
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delulukaisen · 2 days ago
Text
Valentine's Chocolates
a/n: hi i've been reading too much jjk smut on here and uhhh decided to write my own I hope you like it thank you >///<
It was inspired by a drawing on here of giving Toji valentine's chocolates but I lost the post so if someone knows it so I can credit that artist pls lemme know!!
CW: gratuitous smut, cunnilingus, unsanitary sex acts (you'll get a uti don't do this), c'um eating, dirty talk
---------
You had been seeing Toji for a while now. It was hard to call it dating, per se, as he flitted in and out of your life with very little communication, but you certainly preferred when he was around to when he wasn’t. He’d been gone the entirety of the holiday season, ghosting you for nearly a month before he suddenly showed back up on your doorstep, making your heart skip a beat with his knowing smirk when you pressed your thighs together just at the sight of him. 
Perhaps the biggest reason you never fussed when Toji showed back up is because he fucked like an animal. You were too easy on him-- it would barely take him five minutes of entering your apartment before he’d have your thighs for earmuffs, slurping over your cunt and teasing you over how loud she would be. He would shove two fingers inside to hear you squelch before sucking on your clit, sometimes spending hours between your legs before he would finally fuck you proper, filling you up with his massive cock. 
It wasn’t just the sex you liked about him, though. As elusive as he was, you liked what you had gleaned in the little moments between feral fucking sessions. He was a bit of a bully, far too aware of his size and strength, always putting on an air of knowing you couldn't toss him out if you tried. Even so, he was capable of being sweet. He often restocked your fridge before you would get home, or bring food when he came to visit, though he clearly preferred your cooking more. And anytime you managed to leave the apartment together, he made you feel safe, pulling you closer the moment anyone else so much as looked at you. 
You felt silly the whole time you made valentine's chocolates. Toji wasn't a particularly romantic man, and you doubted he would show up that day even if you asked, but you wanted to take the chance to tell him how you really felt. You wanted more than occasional hookups and the constant worry that you were probably just one in a rotation, though he said a few times his absences were due to his freelance work. He never explained what exactly that meant.
You had nearly given up any hope of him visiting you on Valentine's day as the evening got later, and felt foolish for putting on a fresh red lace underwear set, when the doorbell rang. With a pounding heart, you got up to answer the door, unable to hide your smile when you found Toji leaning against your door frame. He looked you up and down hungrily, going as far as to lick his scarred lips.
“Dressin’ up just for me, ma?” He asked, taking in the new black dress you were wearing. It always made you damp when he called you ma, filling your head with the thought of being bred by him. You blushed and stood aside so he could enter.
“Why would I dress up if I didn’t even know you were coming?” You shot back. He laughed and wrapped his big, strong arms around you, so tall that his arms squeezed your breasts to your chest, pulling you close against him so he could kiss just below your ear.
“Hm? But I always cum,” he teased. He nipped at your earlobe, his hands starting to explore you as soon as the door closed. It felt good to give in as he fondled your tits over the dress, but when he groped your thigh and ground his hard cock against your back, you wiggled out of his hold, face red and hair a little messy already.
“W-wait! Just, before we get distracted…” you started and went to the kitchen. Toji watched you with curious eyes. You never stopped him for anything. It was something he loved about you, and if you were anyone else, he would have ruined you for it. Somehow, he just couldn't bring himself to take advantage of you when you looked so damn happy to see return. It kept him coming back to you again and again, paying the price for your excited smiles with the best dick he could give. One taste of you and he knew he didn’t want anyone else. He would just keep bugging you and fucking you until you got a backbone.
Still, he was surprised when you returned, holding something behind your back. You blushed so cutely as you held up a small flat wrapped box. He took it, feeling a little dumb.
“I made you chocolates. Maybe it's stupid of me, and I'm sure you don't feel the same, but, I want to be with you for real, not just waiting for you to drop by. I like you a lot, Toji,” you confessed. You were fully ready for rejection, already braced for him to tell you he was happy just hitting it when he felt like it. His silence made you look at him for real.
Toji stared at the box of chocolates, completely stunned. No one ever gave him homemade chocolates before, not that he had anyone sweet enough to want to. But more than that was what you said. Transactional relationships and mooching was all Toji knew. He’d spent so long hopping from woman to woman, needing a bed to crash in, some cash to gamble with. None of them wanted him around for more than a good fuck, and he never asked for more emotions than that. 
“You should have higher standards, ma,” he told you with a shaky breath. You shrugged, grinning.
“I'm pretty hopeless. Besides, when will I find another man as big and handsome as you?” You teased. He set down the chocolates on your coffee table, popping one in his mouth before pulling you close.
“Y'know, you’ll regret letting a dog like me stay in the house,” he threatened, running his hand through your hair, the other gripping your hip. You melted like putty in his arms, your hands touching his firm chest.
“So be a good dog,” you told him with a smirk. His eyes widened and he barked out a laugh before kissing you. The chocolate had melted in his mouth, and he kissed it into yours. It was messy and sensual, tasking the sweet treat along with pure him, his tongue sliding against yours, uncaring of the saliva that slipped past your lips as you groaned into his mouth.
“Like it? Now I taste as sweet as you,” he told you in a deep gravel, making your knees go weak. He manhandled you until you were laid out on the couch, dress already yanked off. He grinned wolfishly when he took in your fancy underwear.
“You sure like dressing sweets up, huh?” He teased as he grabbed your legs by the back of the knees and propped them on his large shoulders, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh before nipping the flesh. You whined, needing more than his teasing.
“Toji, please,” you whimpered. Your panties were already wet, your clit pulsing with every huff of breath you could feel. He ran his finger down your slit over your underwear, laughing when you squirmed.
“You're gonna make me fat, spoiling me with all these treats,” he continued to tease, brushing a knuckle against your clit before nipping your sensitive thigh again, making you gasp. “What if I enjoyed them together?”
“Wha--” you started to ask, but he slid off your panties (not so subtly going into his pocket) and put another chocolate in his mouth. You watched him smirk as he closed the distance between his mouth and your pussy, pressing a kiss to your inner folds with a loud smack of his lips. 
Toji always ate you out like a starving man, but today he chose to be a tease. He licked through your folds, tongue flat and slow as he avoided your throbbing clit. He watched you with amused eyes as his tongue circled your hole without fucking it, using one hand to spread you wide open. 
“Toji, more,” you begged at his light touch, needing more to get off. He pulled back, laughing and smeared with chocolate.
“Can’t help it, ma. I'm savorin’ these tastes,” he pouted, though his grin gave him away. Just before you could huff back a response, he dove back in, attaching his lips to your clit and sucking. You let out a shriek at the unexpected sensation, his laughter reverbrating through your cunt. The tip of his tongue circled your clit while he sucked, letting up only to make out with your pussy. His tongue swiped up and down, exploring you thoroughly as he kept his mouth glued to you before plunging it inside. His strong arms wrapped around your waist and held you down as you bucked while he ate, trying to escape the overwhelming sensation. He rubbed his nose on your clit while fucking his tongue inside, his face and your thighs smeared with melted chocolate. The sight of him between your thighs, so messy and so focused on your pleasure did you in.
“Toji! I'm gonna cum,” you moaned. You could see the delight in his eyes as he sucked on your clit once more, sliding a thick finger inside you while he worshiped your clit. His finger curled deliciously inside while he stroked your clit with his tongue, eyes watching for your ecstasy. Your own rolled back as a powerful orgasm crashed down, making your legs shake as he held them open, back arching off the couch. Your mouth silently chanted his name, unable to take in air as you were blissfully high. He didn’t stop his worship for a second as you came, working his mouth over you even as you started to push at his head.
“Please! I'm too sensitive!” You pleaded. 
“I'm still hungry,” he growled back, firmly holding your legs open so he could keep feasting despite you trying to wiggle away. His insistent mouth brought you over the edge again, filling his mouth with your slick while you screamed, fingers tangled painfully in his hair. He moaned into your pussy, drinking you up faithfully. 
“God, you’re delicious,” he groaned, finally pulling away. Your relief was short lived as you watched him shuck his clothing, still looking at you like a delicious meal. He licked his lips, shining with your cum, and smiled. 
“You’re sweeter than any chocolate,” he told you before leaning down and stealing a kiss. He shoved his tongue inside your mouth, making you taste yourself. He was still kissing you when his bulbous tip pressed against your entrance.
“Never gonna let you go, ma. Gonna make you all mine,” he promised before bullying his way inside. You always felt so fucking full with Toji, his cock nearly too much for you to take, especially after his longer absences. You tried using a toy similar in size to him, but could never hit your own special spots quite the same way. He rolled his hips to bury himself deeper and deeper, pulling out slightly just to slam in twice as far until he was buried in you to the hilt. He pressed on a small bump in your abdomen, making you jolt at the sensation.
“Feel that, ma? That's me rearranging your guts. Gonna have a good time makin' em all sloppy,” he moaned. Fuck, his dirty talk always made you gush. He pushed your legs up until they were pinned by your shoulders, his weight pressing you into the couch until you could barely breath. You fucking loved when he did that, moving you around like a doll. You loved how weak he could make you feel, the danger he oozed. He could snap you like a twig in a second, and that made you wet.
His cock was relentless as he fucked you, his heavy balls slapping your ass as he rode you. He panted against your neck, completely covering you in the mating press. You could just barely reach your arms around his back, nails digging down as he drove you towards a third orgasm.
“Gonna mold this pussy to only fit my cock. Won't stop til you're always stretched just f'r me. Perfect little cocksleeve, aren't ya?” he babbled, hips snapping. You moaned in response, all your words driven away as his cock made you dumb. The entire world was his length stretching you so good, rubbing against every perfect spot inside. His hands were bruising as he gripped your thighs, and you could tell he was close to the edge.
“Cum in me, Toji, fill me up,” you begged, cunt pulsing around his cock.
“You want my cum? Naughty girl. Don't worry, ma, I'll stuff you full,” he promised. He put his arms on either side of your head to brace himself before increasing his pace, splitting you open deliciously.
“Open your mouth,” he panted, and you immediately did, moaning when he spit in your mouth, immediately grinning.
“Dirty fuckin’ girl! I'm gonna break you,” he groaned. You came at his words, squeezing down around his cock. He cursed as he came in response, painting your insides with his hot cum. You could feel it filling your womb, making you shudder. Toji's cock slipped out and he watched his cum start to drip out before plugging you up with his fingers. You were still catching your breath when his mouth descended on you again, slurping up his cum as he tongued it back inside of you.
“Hey I just shot this in here, don't spill it now,” he chided, gently nipping your clit before lapping at you again. Your eyes rolled back as he attacked your overwhelmed pussy, his tongue electric on your clit. Fuck, he was nasty. 
“Too much,” you whined, but he continued as if he didn’t hear you. In fact, he grabbed your wrist to force you to grab his hair, groaning when you did. It wasn’t long before you were spasming on his tongue again, crying with pleasure.
“Enough, please!” You cried. He mercifully stopped and rested his head on your abdomen.
“But I thought you wanted to be with me? I'll be with ya all night, doll, so let's get comfortable,” he promised, the sparkle in his eyes promising mischief as he dove in again, the start of an unending night of hedonism. You deserved it, after all, for being dumb enough to want to date a sex fiend like him.
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tswaney17 · 6 hours ago
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Happy New Year Tay! You are one of my favorite writers in this fandom. I wanted to ask you a few questions about your writing process:
What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)
What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?
How do you find new fic to read?
Who do you read?
How do you decide what to write?
Are there any tropes you dislike?
What's your favorite AU that you've written?
What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?
If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?
If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?
If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?
f you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?
What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?
Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?
How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.
Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?
Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?
What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?
Do you visualize what you read/write?
Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?
Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?
Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?
Link a fic that made you think, "Wow, I want to write like that."
Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
What's something you've improved on since you started writing fic?
Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?
What's the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?
What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
Aww, nonnie. 🥲 Thank you so much! And Happy New Year to you too!! 🥂 I hope I answered these okay. LOL.
What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) Oh man, that's hard. I'd say Secret Sessions for canon-related, and IDBTWY or Accidental Chemistry for modern.
What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? Probably slow burn. And pregnancy AU. I know it's not everyone's favorite, but I always end up writing Elriel pregnant. LMAO.
How do you find new fic to read? Frankly, since I've stopped writing, I've been devouring fanfic. I hit up AO3 nearly every day to see if there's anything new. And I have this logic that if I subscribe to a crap ton of fics, I'll hopefully get an update to at least one of them weekly. It's not a flawless system but I get the most out of it.
Who do you read? I honestly read everybody as long as I am confident that Elriel is endgame. I will side-eye anything that as El*cien or Gw*nriel as a potential pairing and will skim first to ensure I'll be able to make it through the story. But I have my go-to's like @nikethestatue and @dottielovegood (amongst many others), and I've found some newbies (or new to me) on AO3 and have been devouring their fics. A few that come to mind are @jasmineandcedar and @merakimoonglade but there are many more.
How do you decide what to write? Through utter chaos that is my brain. Sometimes I'll see little things on Insta or Pinterest that'll spark ideas while others will just kind of hit me out of nowhere. Kind of like this feral Az/Elriel miscarriage that's been floating around in my brain for weeks.
Are there any tropes you dislike? I am over the girlboss warrior trope. There's so much of that written that it's just boring to me. I also hate the cheating trope. I just can't read those.
What's your favorite AU that you've written? Honestly, that's hard. IDBTWY has a very special place in my heart, but Secret Sessions might be the best writing I've ever done. I'm also a sucker for Accidental Chemistry too.
What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? Probably that feral Az/Elriel miscarriage I mentioned above. It'd be very angsty and heartbreaking but so delicious. Oh! I also have this Archeron-witch AU that's been wracking my brain forever that's based on The Originals. I have a few scenes of it written but just couldn't get into the right headspace to bust it out completely.
If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? Hmm. Secret Sessions deserves an epilogue and I did start to write one a long time ago. But the idea sputtered out and I never got more than a page written. Also, my fic Queen of Monsters would definitely benefit from a sequel but I'm just going to leave that one alone.
If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve? I could see writing a spin-off for IDBTWY for each of the other siblings tbh. I have no idea what those stories would include, but I think it's the best setup for any sort of spin-off. Or maybe a next-gen for IDBTWY. I have thought of things for the kids if that ever came to pass.
If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? Frenemies would probably benefit from a prequel. You very much jump right into the mess but elaborating on how Elain and Az worked together before they fucked would've been interesting.
If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be? Lucien realizing the bond is broken in Secret Sessions. I had so many people ask about what he felt and if the bond was gone and I just left it up to interpretation.
What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write? I honestly don't use a lot of resources when I write. I Google things when I need to do some research and I have Grammarly to assist with the grammar side of things (which is far from perfect), but other than that, I really don't have much else. Big fics get inspo boards on Pinterest though.
Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue? No dialogue. There are some really amazing writers in this fandom that can invoke such an intense emotional response from readers simply by describing the scene without having the characters speak at all. I feel like both @dottielovegood and @violetasteracademic are exceptional at this. I would love to be able to do this as well as them.
How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process. IDBTWY took four years and it was chaos. I didn't really have an outline that went further than chapter 7 until I was well into the 20s and finally outlined the remaining 15 chapters. Do not recommend at all. I'm honestly surprised how much I was able to loop back in later on in the fic despite my unorganization of it. @nikethestatue can tell you I often went to her and asked if something occurred in my fic because I couldn't even remember. LOL.
Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who? No, I don't have a beta reader and I probably should. I do give out snippets to friends though, but mostly to be a tease.
Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? LMAO. Unholy (my Azriel priest fic) was so far outside my comfort zone. Not just because I'm not religious and likely wrote phrases and scenes that didn't make sense to the setting, but just the idea of having Azriel as a priest fuck Elain on the goddamn altar of the church. Good lord, I blushed writing it and I blushed reading it even to this day. I honestly haven't written anything since this, but I think it helped me to push through my mental barriers of writing something so outrageous.
What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life? I know I've said this a few times, but Accidental Chemistry is loosely based on my best friend. Some of the things Elain experienced happened with her and the fic honestly hit home because of the close, personal ties. Also, Elain's obsession with creamer in every fic is my self-insert and you can't take that away from me. LOL.
Do you visualize what you read/write? Always. I often think of scenes when I'm laying in bed trying to sleep at night. I don't know if it helps put me to sleep or keeps me up because I'm constantly turning things over in my mind.
Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? Who's Afraid of Little Old Me, my Tangled Retelling fic. I absolutely loved writing this one and doing the role reversal swap on Elain and Az was such an interesting story to write. It barely got any traction in comparison to others and I was honestly surprised by it.
Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful? IDBTWY became fairly popular tbh, likely because the fandom was wildly engaged at the time when I first started writing it. But A Surprise Bun got more popularity than I thought it would. Enough so that I wrote two extra parts for it (technically three since it was originally intended to be a one-shot). I loved writing the dynamic between Elriel and Cassian.
Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? I'm a heavy rereader. I will go back and reread specific scenes, entire series, etc. Don't threaten me with a good time.
Link a fic that made you think, "Wow, I want to write like that." There are so many creative writers out there and I know that I'm missing a lot, but @impossiblescissorspeachpaper, @merakimoonglade, and @violetasteracademic have incredible prose and dialect in their writing. I am envious of their talent. Truly.
Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason? I've received such amazing comments from readers and I treasure every single one. But there's been a handful of times where somebody has said that my fic was the first they read in the acotar fandom, or that it's their favorite ever, or that they were so invested in it even though they don't ship Elain and Azriel...and just reading those comments makes me feel so valued. To say that about my writing is such an honor.
What's something you've improved on since you started writing fic? I think my style of writing has definitely improved since I started. If you compare the first part of Across the Hallway (my very first fic) to my most recent ones, especially ones like Wildest Dreams or even my A Hundred Lifetimes, A Hundred Worlds, I'd Choose You series, you can definitely see the difference in my writing.
Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write? I'm a laptop writer. If I write on my phone, I'll note it because it will likely have more errors. I've only written two fics on my phone tbh. My "fast phone fics."
What's the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I read Wonderstruck by @mirrorballpages and it is phenomenal. Highly, highly recommend it.
What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! Oh man. I've got wips for Accidental Chemistry, this Italy-based heartbreaker that will likely never be published. I've got pieces of a post-acosf fic that will never see the light of day. Random scenes for that witch AU. I haven't been writing fic since Elriel Month, tbh. I've been more focused on my IDBTWY rewrite for publishing. But... I suppose if I do end up writing fic again, it'll be Accidental Chemistry. So here's an unedited snippet of it.
It was something he noticed the other night when he cradled the boy to his chest, promptly getting him to finally settle enough to fall asleep. He wasn’t sure if it was the sound of his heartbeat or the warmth of his skin or the deep sound of his voice as he softly sang a lullaby his mother used to hum to him or a combination thereof, but Oliver always seemed content in his arms.
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matchadobo · 18 hours ago
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👋 for the 3rd dialogue of hurt to comfort, can you write it like when y/n is insecure about themself and they don't feel comfortable enough to sleep 🔞 with Kid (IYKYK 😉). i really like how you write hurt to comfort 💙 thank you, cha!
wc: 1793
dialogue: "show me all the parts of you that you don't love, so i know where to begin."
warning/s: semi-nsfw (bc there's no p in v)🔞, lotsa foreplay, established bf/gf, virgin reader, fem reader, soft but k1nky kidd ;)
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you and kidd have been together for a while now but you still hadn't open up the sex talk with him. but that's because of two things: you're a virgin and you're insecure about it. he had never really pressured you into doing it. if anything, he's been nothing but so respectful about it.
but when make outs get too heated and you two badly needed to destress that one time, it all boiled down to you on the verge of having a panic attack.
"hey, it's alright." despite his usually coarse approach, his tone was gentle as he held your face in his hands. "i kinda went too far. my bad, bonnie. we can stop 'ere, yeah?" he ruffled your hair to apologize.
moments ago, he subconsciously clipped your bra off and then your breasts came loose. you then consequently squealed and pulled away.
"n-no, you shouldn't have to." you said through shaky breaths, disheveled locks, and swollen lips. "i'm sorry, kidd. you probably think you're the unluckiest man in the world with a girlfriend like this." you covered your face, fighting off your tears as you tried getting off his lap. but he fixed you in place and yanked your hands off your face so he could look at you properly.
"hey. oi look at me." kidd started. "piss off with that crap. we talked about this. we're fuckin' if you wanna. and you know, i like it this way. somethin' new, right? 's like a challenge and i'm no loser." he poked your chin playfully. you know he was just trying to lighten up the mood but you already feel so bad depriving him of this.
"no but, what about you? you're... hard." you two looked over his boner. you were sat on his lap so you could see it very well.
"what do you wanna do then?" kidd's tone was mischevious and you already knew why. you were silent. kidd held up his laugh but gave up immediately. "...i'm just kiddin'. we can do somethin-"
"no!"
"now you're just confusin' the hell out of me."
"i'm insecure about how i look. i-i think i won't look good when i'm all... naked before you. i just don't think i'd make you feel good because you won't like how my body will looks." you looked away, trying to find the right words because you felt really small and embarrassed talking about this.
kidd blankly stared at you before bursting into laughter. he couldn't breathe really, it's all so fucking crazy to him all he could do was laugh.
"is that all?" he asks, holding your hand after and placing it above his boner. "cuz this is what you do to me, bonnie. if you would just know how i think about you, how i fuckin' fantasize each night about you, it's criminal." he watched how shaky your eyes got, not taking his eyes off of you as he palmed himself with your hand simultaneous with his words.
"k-kidd i..."
"and i've been waitin', for a damn long time for you to say it. to say you want it. you want to do it with me." he rested his forehead against your shoulder, his firm grip remained in yours as he continued with his filthy act using your hand.
"everytime i look at you with your cute little skirts, when you wear clothes around me that show a little too much skin, or when you become a little too needy during kisses." he started giving you kisses up to your neck, precarious on where your quickening pulse resides.
"hell even when you wear these ragged shirts, i lust over you." kidd pulled away and chuckled to himself, he soon met your eyes with a dark haze on them. "and you're worried about shit like that? insecure about what? i don't fuckin' get it. did you forget why i had a crush on you?"
you blinked at him, cheeks so hot you had to fan yourself. "i-i don't know i gained some weight lately, w-would you still like that?" you kept your head down, fumbling with the hem of your shirt. "i don't love it, okay? you might be getting annoyed but the truth is, i'm really scared of how you'll react. i don't want to disappoint you."
kidd sighed. running his fingers through his hair to compose himself. he's not annoyed at you or anything. he's frustrated that you still feel like this even if he sees you as a fucking goddess. he doesn't wanna force you onto it, he wants to do it with you on your own volition. he's fine taking care of it, he's got a pretty wild imagination.
but it doesn't sit right with kidd that you feel like shit when he can do something perfectly well about it. it just rides on you if you'll push through.
"show it to me." kidd blurted out, leaning back with his arms. "show me all the parts of you that you don't love, so i know where to begin."
you were a bit confused but your heart wasn't. it's as if kidd always knows what to say to make you feel this way.
"hm? cmon, i don't like waitin'." kidd raised a brow to see you still frozen. "or do you want me to do it for you?"
"e-eh? what- hey!" kidd wasted no time carrying you bridal style out of his lap and headed to the other side of his room where a wall mirror resides. he finally placed you down for you to stand up.
"just gimme a squeal if you wanna stop, otherwise i'd keep going." kidd stood behind you, reaching over to hold the hem of your shirt on both hands before raising it. when he exposed your torso you immediately pulled his arm back down.
"k-kidd?! what the fuck?!"
"i wanna do somethin' about that insecurity of yours, trust me on this. do you trust me?"
you looked at him with shaky eyes, but he just smiled at you. knowing you'd agree. so you took a deep breath and trusted him, like you always had.
kidd had always shown you the world. the amount of hesitance you had matched the daringness he had. it was perfect really, you prevent him from getting too carried away and he prevents you from missing out on having fun. so whatever he had planned right now, it would be scary for you but kidd wouldn't do anything that'd hurt you.
kidd began pulling your shirt over your head, tossing your shirt somewhere in his room afterward. you felt cold and small. his hands warmed you up as he roamed the expanse of your shoulders, sweeping off your hair to the other side so he could plant kisses on one side your neck.
"tell me when to stop." he said in assurance, sparing you one glance in the mirror before sucking on the juncture of your neck and shoulder.
his hands soon explored the surface of your stomach, playfully squeezing the flesh on it before crawling up precariously on your breasts. he gave you a look at the mirror, gauging any discomfort you may have. but you seem to be enjoying it, it's just that you were keeping it in with the way you lean onto him as you melt in his touch and the evident and embarrasing flush of your cheeks.
"do it," you were somewhat eager, as he teased his fingertips on the wire underneath your bra. both of you watching each other on the mirror. kidd grinned, pulling down your bra pads and squeezing onto your mounds.
"this? this makes you insecure? look at yourself, bonnie." he said with one hand playing with your breasts while the other had a firm grip on your hips, tinted fingernails digging on your pelvis. "you're fuckin' beautiful."
you mewled at him, looking up at him as your knees felt like jelly. but kidd wanted you to not look at him, he wants you to look at you. how you're melting as he strips you and makes you look at yourself. he held your jaw and he positioned it so you're staring at yourself in the mirror.
"mm-mm, you've been way too busy lookin' at me, princess. focus on yourself." his firm grip on the expanse of your jaw and neck had your breath constricted while his other hand was busy teasing his fingers on your clothed, sensitive cunt. "look at yourself while i make you feel fuckin' good." he barked out as if almost an order.
you squirmed, feeling overwhelmed with the fact that kidd's got you figured out in the right places. as you look at yourself, you got even more turned on with how he's handling you perfectly well even if it's your first time together.
"i-it does~ it feels so g-good, baby." you mustered out with pants, trying to hold onto both of kidd's arms but your grip was way to weak.
"aye. i want you to see yourself the way i see you. always so damn hot." kidd squeezed onto your bum, biting your earlobe as he maintained eye contact with you by the mirror.
"but let me tell you somethin' because from here on, i might lose control of myself when i take those pretty fuckin' panties off." kidd stopped palming your cunt, and instead returned to rest around your waist. he appears to have a penchant for stroking your stomach. "i already know you're soakin' in there and i know you can feel how hard i am."
you nodded. he was still on his boxers yet it kept poking your back, sliding down your bum. it made you sweat to imagine how big he really is, because you know he is. you've seen the bulge of it when he wears leather, or just his boxers, or when he gets hard. and kidd is a big man, there's no denying how much he strays further away from the average.
"...if you're asking if i want to keep going. i do, baby." you turned your head to the side to look at him, really tell him that you're serious and this is your choice. "i'm sorry this scared me so much, it's fucking ridiculous." you laughed to yourself. "but if it's my first time, i wouldn't want it any other way than to do it with you. i mean, you did all this poetic shit just for me to wake the fuck up or something. so do it, don't hold back. i didn't date a vanilla, did i?"
"aye."
you kinda regret telling him to not hold back and provoke him with that vanilla joke. he took it way too personally and you suffered the consequences.
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thank you sm for the request anon! 🌷
this was actually pretty fun to write! i somehow had it right off the bat as soon as i read the request, it just took so long bc of the previous requests that piled up 😭 i think this is very canon of modern kidd to do heheheheh🥵
it's currently new years' eve in ph! happy new year my loves! thank you for the support always 🌷 hope everyone has a great start to the new year 🫶
if you're interested for my 500 follower event, you can check out this post
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