#I've been working on this for so long! honestly I finished it because I wanted to render something since i haven't in a bit
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Under a read more since this is kind of a story lol
Forcefully took up sewing since I urgently had to mend a DEAR treasure (2 of them) after an accident. It happened so soon after New Years I was thinking "what a terrible way to start this year!... uuuuuuu....uuuu...." and I tossed and turned all night. Cried. I furrowed my brow and thought about rolling over and just taking the loss. But impulsively I steeled myself and thought Hell No! I was experiencing despair and waded my way through it but I wouldn't let it become loss.
I resolved to go to the only fabric store I knew of to find replacement fabric and matching thread the next day. The train ride was nice. I felt so purposeful lol. A very rare occurrence in my life. I watched maybe 30 seconds of a video telling me how to sew and went WHATEVER! and went at it on some tests for 2 hours. Don't advise that but I was stressed haha. The tests weren't that good but they were good enough. I got the hang of things.
Took me about 2 nights to finish mending the first item. The fabric matched really well in color and texture so the fact my sewing was shoddy didn't show as much as I thought it would. I was satisfied. The next item.... took 4..... all nighters... it doesn't sound like much writing it down but I experienced so much frustration. Probably more frustration than I've felt in 3 years since I haven't picked up any new skills or hobbies in that time. I was just an observer before. It was so grueling.
But I surprised myself! The reason it was grueling was because I kept aiming for something better. I redid sections so many times and approached it from 4-5 different angles even if it undid hours on hours of work. The patching fabric for the second item didn't match as well (totally different material, texture, and thickness) and ended up being more decorative. I encountered new problems I didn't previously account for. I had to worm my way around a lot! And it was not fun. But my will was something that strangely surprised me. I would finish a section, look at it, and go "I won't settle for that" then restart. Id go up halfway, realize I was doing something wrong, then restart. I'd realize there was a better way of doing something, restart. I think there were 3 times last night I decided I was done but realized I wanted to redo something and I worked for an additional hour every attempt.
Again It wasn't fun in the moment! But something in the back of my head was so very happy. I knew I would come out of this being proud of what I did. That Will I experienced was honestly something I thought had atrophied outside of art! And with digital art, problems are easy to solve. Undo, copy, paste, save states, etc. I'm not holding a needle with long nails and thread that I can barely see to solve I problem I don't know anything about.
Even if the actual display of skill is fledgling, the mental hurdles I overcame made the end product feel more rewarding. I did everything I could with my level of skill and prep. While doing something middling is better than not doing it at all, I got too used to that and just started aiming for mediocrity. So overcoming that has been so very rewarding. I can't say that enough.
I wondered if this was because I've been watching jojo... nearly all the characters carry themselves with so much purpose and determination, regardless of their role in the story. I can't lie, on the train ride there I was thinking about how certain characters would persevere in situations that devastate them..! I was like.. I should too...!!
It's so funny how an objectively small project became so important to me. I've built a little more respect for myself this year! I think that's a good way to start it off.
I feel really good about myself lately
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You know he has to flip for it!
No text + flat under cut
I've been working on this for a bit, and it is done! Two of my f/o's interacting for a silly meme. Ichimatsu's getting held by the scruff like a cat because Harv can't be normal /j/lh
#🦇// my art#i think we have to kill this guy#meme#two face#harvey dent#ichimatsu#ososan#btas#osomatsu san#dc#mr osomatsu#batman the animated series#self ship#f/o's#I LOVE LIMITED COLOR PALETTES!!!!!!#Also I'm really proud of the colors. I'm getting better at making them harmonious#I've been working on this for so long! honestly I finished it because I wanted to render something since i haven't in a bit#the lineart and anatomy was hell but that's partly because I chose shitty angles to work with in retrospect#alls well ends well I suppose#Look at Harveyyyyy <3 my wonderful Harv <3#It's supposed to be Harv talking that's why the speech bubble is black. I wasn't going to make it squiggly like in the comics for this.#Ichiiiiiii !!!!#I'm so happy with his facial expression! also this is the first time I've drawn him in the og suit I think#Yes he has a piercing because Iru took him to get his ears pierced I do what I want#Also Two Face gets makeup because he can get it and also I dislike the red lip thing. There's other headcanons too#I'm still playing around with his design but I like the skin tone and suit I used here#Also their noses!!! I LOVE THEIR NOSES!!!! Love how I drew them#only thing is their eyes aren't that detailed or rendered like I'd like. I got bored but they look good enough#honestly this whole thing I made so I could have a drawn header :3
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Hmmm life sucks so u know what that means
Time for the FLUFFIEST HURT/COMFORT hidden in my bookmarks
#I really wanted to re-read Throw me a goddamn rope just enough to hang myself w it or always and never and eventually#(or something around that. titles are v bad for me but it's Bakugou going back on time) because both of them have the cutest dadzawa EVER#but I don’t have energy for a not finished fic so :(#anyway took a bath and listened to Faroeste Cabloco because yeah best way to deal w feelings is screaming a 9 minutes long song#I don’t remember even studying that much. like. even w the preparatory course I had a routine full of breaks and quite balanced#now however I am still adapting so sometimes I just have to spend +12 hours on college w like a 2 hours break sprinkled somewhere around it#and do it again the next day#crazy#on a much lighter note!!! my classmates are nice. like. really nice. very very kind and cool and understanding and *nice*.#i know it's the first semester and everything but GOSH it's COOL to be in a class that isn’t always fighting w each other or w the teachers#it's been like 7/8 years since I've had that? so it's very very greeeat! and helpful#crazy how life works#back to the fic thing: wanted to read some atla stuff but I *really* need the trope of sad bean being adopted by Aizawa and getting to-#-to know what a family truly is#kanene being kanene#vent#also I fell from the college's stairs so BSHVSYWGS knees huuuurt. it was nothing bad and honestly I was laughing a lot because#it was just such a sudden and weird fall that I just agefyevehevhe !!! and a classmate helped to get up like BRUH#SHAKING U BY THE SHOULDERS HOW DARE U TO BE SO NICE#anyway high emotions maybe I should sleep earlier today#or look for comforting tk fics#👀👀 hurt comfort soft playful cheer up tickles imma coming for u 👀👀
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Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important
In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway
If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing ✅️
50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now) ✅️
100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them. ✅️
200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place) ✅️
500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it. ✅️
1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended) ✅️
5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods) ✅️
10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything ✔️ (I haven't, but that person was in my room next to where the earrings are. They were 0% hidden) ✅️
20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it
April 2024: I stop procrastinating editing this post with the things I've already done. I WANT THE HAIR SO MUCH BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT
May 2024: Red hair, red hair, red hair. I'M CROWLEY, RED HAIR!!!!!
#Just my random stuff tag because I don't want to do any of this stuff#but i do want to do this stuff#fuck i really hate wanting to do things and at the same time wanting to simply... stop#fuck#jay and... jay what are you doing?
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HELLO HELOO i am. alive. ermm. ok so long story short i am very very tired and unable to do like. anything. :P oof.
here's a toby drawing i completely forgot??? that i did??? like months ago??? found it in my files while looking for any drawings I've actually finished recently and im pretty happy with it so I'm posting it here :''3
honestly i just haven't been happy with anything i've been drawing so only stuff i've done are studies because i want to improve but idk. i feel really self critical. yk how it is being an artist, never feeling happy with your skill level :p i'm working on it though, got pretty into traditional painting for a change? idk i'm trying new stuff to find inspiration. hopefully more art SOON (for sure this time) (idk if i can promise that)
okok health update:
been very very stressed out, basically. got bad again, getting better again?¿? got more help though, so i should be getting therapy maaaybe and help getting back into school, not sure, trying to make something work out. not looking at my phone has been helping
in other news; fall is awesome, love halloween !! birthday is coming up aswell, which is pretty cool 👍👍👍 been hanging out with friends again, which is very nice too. uuuhhhhh the silent hill 2 remake finally came out!!! and it's actually good!!! like really good!!! life has meaning again!!!!
TLDR: I am so very tired. but it will get better, for sure !! just need more time? maybe? in any case, i will be back to post more whenever i am able to. thank you for enjoying my art, it does mean the world to me.
#creepypasta#creepypasta fanart#creepypasta art#ticci toby#ticci toby creepypasta#creepypasta ticci toby#toby rogers#drink some water fellas#thank you for enjoying my silly little drawings it makes me so very happy. really hope i can stop being a dumb dumb idiot and make more
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니키 - Sneaking in - - — -> N.NK
Synopsis -> After a long day, Niki just wants cuddles from his girlfriend.
Pairing -> TiredBf!Niki x SleepyGf!FemReader.
Warning -> None!
*ೃ༄ click here - WC -> 0.8k
DESC - ✿︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄ This is my only account!! any other account that has my work! Please don't be afraid to P.M me and help take it down.. & All works under - #✶.enha
Niki held his breath as he slowly and quietly closed the window of your dorm room.
He closed the curtains so you wouldn't be bothered by the moonlight.
It's late, nearing two in the morning, and he knows after the day you had you've got to be in a deep sleep now.
He didn't want to wake you. At least, not yet.
So he tried to be as quiet and as careful as he possibly could.
But that was a little easier said than done as he walked through your room and had to be careful not to step or trip on anything you might have on the floor.
He soon began to tiptoe to your bed and finally, he reached it.
He breathed out a sigh of relief and then quietly took his shoes off before she crawled under the covers with you.
He wanted to get here much sooner than this but he's been busy since early this morning and just finished everything he had to do today an hour or so ago.
It felt like time had just dragged on today.
He was completely exhausted and felt very stressed.
His day was, honestly, terrible; one of the worst that's one of the reasons why he snuck in so late tonight.
Because until now, he didn't have the chance to see you and he needs cuddles from you more than he ever has before.
He curled up with you and put his arms around you to hold you tight.
But as he did so, his hand fell to your back, and your eyes flew open at the feeling.
At first, you had no idea that it was him.
The only thing you knew was it was late and dark and someone was in your bed.
You almost screamed but Niki felt you jump and was quick to shush you before you made a sound.
"Shh. Baby, it's just me."
"Nini?" You mumbled sleepily and turned over to face him. "What are you doing here? How did you get into my dorm room?"
"I snuck in through your window." He said.
"You climbed all the way up here?"
"Yeah." He answered as he tangled his legs with yours.
"I don't think you've ever done that before. Are you alright? Not that I'm complaining but it's after two am. Why are you here?"
"I had a very bad day." He sighed as you began to brush your fingertips across his skin. "It was just awful. One of the worst I've had in quite some time. I'm exhausted and I'm so stressed out and I just need some cuddles."
"Oh, niki," you cooed and curled up as close as you could, holding onto him tightly. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I know things have been hard for you lately. I'm more than happy to give you all the cuddles you want."
"Thank you." He spoke softly as he kissed your head.
"Do you want to talk about it? You can tell me anything you want to get off your chest. I'll listen to every word."
"I know you will, my love. But no. I'd rather just hold you. I want to try and forget about the entire day if I can and just hope that tomorrow is better."
"Baby, I'm sure it will be." You said as you played with his hair.
"You deserve the world. I have hope that tomorrow will be a much better day. You deserve it."
"Thank you." He said and for the first time all day, he cracked a real and genuine smile.
"Are you warm? Have some of my blanket." You said and covered him up with your blanket, letting her have as much of it as he wanted.
"The day is over, baby. You're okay now. You're here with me. I've got you."
Your words were so sweet and so comforting and they helped to make him feel so much better.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." He softly spoke as he brushed his fingers across your back. "I don't know what I'd ever do without you. You're so sweet and I'm just so in love with you."
"Niki, I'm so in love with you. You don't ever have to wonder what you'd ever do without me because I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. I promise."
He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.
Sometimes, those worries creep into his brain.
He just needs you to remind him that you're never leaving.
Because you know he isn't ever either.
"I know it was a bad day but you don't have to worry about a thing anymore. It's all over. It's just us now. I'll cuddle you until the sun comes up. I won't let go."
He smiled for a few seconds, until you put your lips on his and gave her a sweet kiss.
"Get some rest. I love you, angel."
"I love you more, sweet girl." He said and held you tighter as you put your head on his chest and closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep together.
©chxrry-lv
#✶.enha#enhypen#enha imagines#enha#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha smut#enha niki#enha riki#enha nishimura riki#enhypen x female reader#enhypen niki#enhypen riki#enhypen niki x reader#enhypen x fem reader#niki x reader#ni ki#niki x you#niki x y/n#nishimura riki#riki x reader#riki x you#riki x y/n#riki fluff#niki fluff
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Because I was asked about this today:
The reason I don't have rag quilts listed is because I have no closet space to store them. They take up more space because they can't be folded completely flat. This is due to the nature of the rag side. We have no closets in this house. Just two standing wardrobes and several plastic boxes for storage. All the smaller finished quilts and all finished quilt tops are stored in my standing wardrobe. Coasters and mug rugs are in a small plastic box I use for storing some of my loose patterns. Quilts larger than 40x40 inches are stored in a larger plastic box. All this is to avoid dust and prevent my cat from gaining access to them.
Storing rag quilts can be tricky. The one I have for myself is on the back of my armchair because it's simply easier than trying to fit it in a plastic box. For buyers, how and where you store you quilt(s) is entirely up to you, though I do advise keeping them out of direct sunlight because it bleaches the colors out of the fabric.
If you have a rag quilt, would you mind sharing how you store them?
Quick question about a quick quilt...
I can finish a lap size rag quilt in less than a week, twin size in about a week, queen size in two weeks. It's three layers of fabric, quilt-as-you-go, minimal piecing, and they are heavy. Excellent for cold weather and folks who like the weight of blankets but not weighted blankets.* These quilts aren't as hot as layers of fabric plus beads/pellets, and they breathe much more effectively. For a heavier rag quilt, it's a layer of denim and two layers of quilting cotton or flannel. I have a rag quilt for myself that's three layers of quilting cotton. My house is drafty and winters are full of rain, which means the cold sinks into your bones with the humidity. My husband keeps stealing my quilt because his man-cave is the coldest room in the house. He doesn't care that it's very feminine colors "because it's warm."
As for why it's called a rag quilt, here's a sample:
The top is the fluffy side with the exposed seams. Instead of a quarter inch seam allowance the seams under the fabric, it's a one inch seam allowance and the seams are exposed. Said seams are then cut at one inch intervals. With every washing, the seams get fuzzier and softer. They're fun to touch and feel really nice. It's also why these must be dried ALONE or all the strings will end up on whatever else is in the dryer. Three layers of fabric also means two rounds in the dryer on high heat (which is why I like using flannel rather than quilting cotton) or one round of high heat and hanging to dry for a couple hours.
The back looks like a more traditional quilt top and is often the side with denim on it if denim is used. The one is three layers of flannel and was a giveaway prize earlier this year, to celebrate meeting a ko-fi goal.
These are a delight to make and excellent for cold winters and drafty homes. Did I mention they're pretty heavy? The one I have, once all folded up, weighs about six pounds, and knocks my husband out within about ten minutes of him laying over himself. It's why I plan on making a rag quilt for him. He keeps stealing mine.
For context regarding prices, these take significantly less time to make. This one, a lap size, took just 14.5 hours, and that included the quilting. A traditional style baby quilt starts at $2125 because I have a lot more cutting and sewing, and I do the quilting by hand (though it will soon change due to soon having a machine I can use on my Cutie frame and do all my quilting on it), and can take 70-80 hours start to finish. I charge $27/hour + cost of materials to come to the final price.
*A PT I know hates weighted blankets because they cause a lot of injuries. People rolling in bed with a weighted blanket on them have ended up in physical therapy because of soft tissue tears. Most especially dangerous for people with EDS and other connective tissue conditions. Other injuries they've seen are from the pockets with the beads/pellets in them tearing open. Pets and small children have been known to choke on those, and folks who are heavy sleepers can also be injured if the pockets near their face tear in their sleep. When the beads/pellets get all over the floor, people fall and end up with serious injuries from that. Not to mention overheating under all of them because the material doesn't breathe well.
#quilt#sewing#handmade#artists on tumblr#commissions open#I need to pay off Cacoa's vet bills (totaling $1400) ASAP so I can hire a plumber before the wet season arrives. Then I can focus on paying#off one of our other debts that will start collecting interest in May 2025. Once those are paid off I can justify purchasing an#XBox Series X for myself and one for my husband. Dragon Age The Veilguard releases on Halloween. I have been looking forward to this#game for ten years. Dragon Age saved my life. When I was at my lowest I would remind myself I cannot play the next game if I'm dead.#I know it's unlikely I'll achieve the goal before Halloween and will just end up watching people play the game on Twitch. A girl can dream#though and this will be mine: pay off enough debt to afford the luxury of having a new console and new game.#Honestly? I have more than earned a long break after all the nearly non-stop quilt making I've done this year. A break is something I very#much need and want but cannot take until I receive at least $3k to cover the cost of Cacoa's bills the plumber and the debt.#I have over $8k worth of merchandise in my shop. Original paintings (two would cover Cacoa's bills the plumber and some of the other#debt) as well as quilts starting at coaster size and going up from there. New work will be added pretty much every week until my#new machine arrives and I begin practicing free motion quilting on it. The practice quilts will be sold at a steep discount and then I'll#really get into finishing quilts on the Cutie frame. The prices for all the quilts I would other finish by hand will drop because I can#get them done much more quickly. the larger quilts will be on the commission menu next year. after lots of practice first.
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You, Oscar and Hugh
You and Hugh have stared in the most talked about movie of the year, so, for the biggest night in Hollywood, the two of you are all people can talk about.
[based on the request for oscars night. I had so much fun writing this!!!! genuinely, how Hugh didn't even get a nomination for Logan is a crime! I'm working on another request for Logan and I've got like dozens of drafts but I loved this and wanted to get it out, I hope you enjoy!]
The Oscars- Hollwood's most prestigious event. Neither Hugh, nor you were strangers to the hall. Hugh had not only been nominated but even hosted and you had been nominated and performed.
But this was new. Both of you had worked hard for your nominations. You and Hugh had been on opposite ends, he was the X-man, the Wolverine while you had been staring in Marvel movies since the very beginning, a friendly rivalry becoming of the two of you which came to fruition when you both stared in 'Deadpool and Wolverine.'
Now, the two of you were in the drama everyone had been talking about- mainly because it featured the hollywood couple. Hugh was nominated for best supporting actor while you had a nomination for best actress in a leading rule.
The camera's flashed as Hugh walked the carpet, alone. Everyone noted that fact. They'd assumed you would be on his arm but there was no sign of you.
He followed his agent as he led him to the row of interviewer's calling his name.
'First of all, I wanted to say congratulations on your nomination, your second nomination!' said the interviewer.
Hugh was all smiles, dapper in his sleek black suit and tie. 'Thank you, man, thank you.'
'So, what's going through your head at a time like this?'
'Honestly, not a lot. There's- there's almost too much to think about that I can't think of anything at all,' he chuckled.
'Are you proud of this movie?' he asked.
'I've never been prouder of a project before, and there's so many reasons why. Maybe that's obvious,' he grinned, thinking of one reason he was incredibly happy to be celebrating this movie. 'Not only does it touch on subjects that need to be touched on more, but we had an incredible direction, an amazing writing team and the rest of the cast.'
The interviewer gave him a knowing smile. 'By cast, are we-'
He didn't even have to finish before Hugh was closing his eyes and nodding. 'Oh yeah.'
Almost as if that was a cue, the yelling and flashing of the camera's intensified as many people turned to look.
'Oh, who's here?' asked Hugh, peaking over peoples heads until he saw. 'Oh.'
You stepped out the car like a star from old hollywood as you waved at the cameras and gave them your dazzling smile. You, like him, were dressed all in sleek black, looking effortlessly beautiful as you took to the carpet.
'There she is, the woman of the hour!' cheered the interviewer.
'Of every hour,' said Hugh, the microphone just picking it up. 'Pleasure to talk to you, man.' He hardly waited for a reply before he was making his way as casually as possible across the carpet to you.
You couldn't hear anything over the yelling, or see much over the flashing lights. All you could do is pose as your agent told you to and smile at the right direction.
You were led away but heard your voice be called from a corner. With a grin, you hurried over to Guillermo, the best part of Jimmy Kimmel shows. 'Hello handsome,' you winked, joining him quickly.
'Hello!' said Guillermo. 'Do you want a shot?'
You laugh. 'Do I want a shot- what? A shot of vodka?'
'We can do vodka,' he said, already prepping the shots.
'Let's do it, why not?'
Together, you take a shot and the camera focuses on you squinting and coughing. 'That was tequila.'
'Oh, sorry.'
'No, I loved it. I love you Guillermo!' you call as you slowly walk away.
Any other celebrity might have wondered why the crowd suddenly got louder, why camera's shifted. But they would've seen Hugh approach you in long strides, would've witnessed your grin as his arms wrapped around your back, careful not to ruin your dress.
They would have wondered what he was saying to you as he held your arms, soothing his thumb over the skin. They would've seen the simmer in your eyes and the way his arm slid around your waist effortlessly. You leant into him and the two of you posed for few pictures, offering them like rare jewels.
You and Hugh had never made it official, whatever it was between the two of you. But everyone knew what it was without words. There was only one word to describe the way Hugh looked at you. But you kept it private, he was some twenty years older and not long out of a marriage. Fans had watched you go from co-stars to friends to possibly (almost definitely) lovers. And they loved any crumbs you'd offer them.
The two of you did little interviews, only really stopping to talk to Amelia Dimoldenberg.
'Wait, the two of you are each other's dates?' she gasped.
'Amelia, I literally sent you an email asking to be my date,' you said. 'I didn't get a reply.'
Hugh stood back, looking between the two of you. 'You asked her, but I asked her first.'
Eventually, the two of you made it into the hall, sitting with the rest of your cast and crew for your movie. You all get situated, smiling and greeting any other friends.
Hugh and you were sat next to each other, something every camera in the room ate up. Since the rumours had started, you'd been all the people could talk about, and they'd be making stories of this for years. They snapped every shot of Hugh watching you talk, arm around the back of your chair, smiling and brushing parts of your hair away. Or how you'd reach out to brush his jacket or straighten his tie.
You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
Finally, the event started and the camera's were zoomed in on you and Hugh, which you didn't trust.
'Ladies and Gentlemen, Hollywood's greatest please welcome your host, Hollywood's worst... Ryan Reynolds!'
Everyone cheered but you and Hugh who's jaws dropped. People laughed at your reactions as you watched him walk out on stage, no less, in an 'I am a child of divorce.' and a picture of you and Hugh at the bottom.
Ryan waved at the two of you as everyone settled. You hid your face from laughing while Hugh was glaring playfully. 'Yeah! I know right! Who's Oscar did I have to shine to get my very own hosting gig! Wasn't yours Jackman, as you've never got one, you know?'
The crowd chuckled.
'And looks like you'll be getting one for, yep, let me check, contribution. Hey, win some you lose some, Wolvie.'
You were still chuckling loudly, the camera never leaving your reactions as the actors and crew laughed at you. So, you sat through Ryan's opening monologue as he spoke about each film individually, most with jokes, and most about how he nor Dogpool were nominated.
'Now, my good friends, well, what I like to call my parents, are both nominated for their movie. Yes, applause, please, they're very fragile,' said Ryan. 'Y/n plays a strong, confident woman who is only ever knocked down by Hugh's character and charm. But enough about what they get up to in the bedroom- this film-' Ryan halted, waiting for you and Hugh to stop playfully smirking at him and for the crowd to stop chuckling. He gave it a few serious words, before letting the rest of the ceremony play out.
You and Hugh were called out several times. When Halle Berry came out to present and gave Hugh a flirtatious wink that you gave back to her, blowing her a kiss.
When your friend Emma Stone tried to get you up to dance and you had to awkwardly shake your head.
Or when Hugh took to the stage, getting ready to take over hosting and you came up to drag him off as a joke.
When best supporting actor came up, they had last years best actress winner- Emma Stone- read out the names.
Hugh smiled and clapped when appropriate, but you seemed more nervous for him. A hand on his thigh, the other biting your nails. He was holding your leg, stopping your jerking knee.
'And the winner for best supporting actor, goes to... Hugh Jackman!'
The crowd erupted, but nobody as loud as you. You were on your feet before Hugh, arms thrown in the air as you cheer and clap.
Hugh's eyes, though he knew should be on the stage, fell to you as he pulled you in for a hug.
'I'm so proud of you!' you yell into his ear.
Hugh kissed your cheek, your temple, your hair, anything he can. Still hugging you, he reaches out behind you to shake hands with the director.
You pull away, kissing the back of his hand as he kisses your cheek again before rushing up to accept the award with a grin and a pep in his step.
He hugs Emma and offers her a polite kiss before taking to the microphone. 'Thank you! Thank you very much, everyone,' he says as they slowly stop clapping. They take their seats as he catches the director handing you tissues.
Hugh reaches into his pocket, taking out a piece of paper. 'I wrote this in 2013 but never got to use it, so excuse me if I just change the title of the film,' he joked as everyone chuckled. 'First, I want to thank the academy for this award. To the director, who had such an eye for art in this film, to the amazing writers for telling a story that needs to be told and should've been told a long time ago. It is because of your amazing work I am able to stand here and take only a fraction of the credit. To my agent, who thanks for getting me this job.
'To my children, I love you so much. I hope you think dad's a little cooler now. To my mum, whom I love and know is watching this at home. And to my dad, who I miss every day but I know... I know is here,' he choaks on the words as you watch, knowing you smudged your make up. Hugh turned to look at you and not the room, smiling through tears.
'And to you, my love, my reason for everything I do. You are the real heart of this movie, and you are my heart. My one and only. This is your award as much as mine. And I am yours. I love you so much, so, so much. I could stand up here and talk for hours about how much I love you, but I won't because I want to sit where you are and watch you win yours. I love you! Thank you!'
He holds up the award and blows you a kiss before walking off the side of stage.
You knew the camera was on you as you stood up again and cheered, a tear down your cheek.
Ryan walked back out on stage, this time, dressed in a cosplay of the iconic Wolverine suit. They all laughed. 'Gee, Hugh, thanks. I-I love you to.'
There was an award or two and a break before Hugh was rushing back to you all.
You leapt in his arms as he cradled you close, handing his oscar to the director. His hands roamed your back, fingers bruising the skin there as he kissed your shoulder and neck. 'God, I can't believe it, I am so proud of you, baby.'
Hugh pulled back, looking down at you. 'I love you. I love you so much.' he pecked your head. He wouldn't kiss you, you guys had a plan for the camera's to get that.
Not long after you'd taken your seats, the nominations for best actress in a leading roll were led out by Robert Downy jr.
Hugh held onto you tightly, tighter than you had him. It wouldn't feel right if he walked home with one when you, the real star, didn't. But you couldn't care, you were more than happy to sit with Hugh for the rest of the night, for the rest of your life.
'And the oscar, goes to...' Robert trailed off, opening the envelope and taking his time. He took in a deep breath. 'Oh, my lovely dear, get up here. Y/N!'
Just as they had for Hugh, everyone around you cheers. Your first instinct is to lean forward, holding your head in your hands and hiding as Hugh hugs you, pulling your body into his and yelling in glee. Finally, you pull back and hug the director, keeping a hold on Hugh's hand, you say things to the writers before turning and throwing an arm around Hugh's neck.
You're still gripping his hand as he helps you to the stage, you trembling so much you dare not go without support. He kisses your hand and hugs you once more before leaving you to walk up the stage. The cheers grow louder as you greet Robert.
The man was like your father, after staring in how many Marvel movies together. He hugged you tightly, smiling at you and bowing to present you with the oscar.
You approached the microphone, tears in your eyes as you did and everyone clapped. You waited until you could hear a pin drop until you took a deep breath. 'This is stressful as shit,' the people laugh. 'Oh my- thank you! Everyone! Thank you Robert! To all the other amazing, talented and intelligent nominees, I give a piece of this oscar to you all cause you were all amazing, truly!' you celebrate.
'Thank you to the director, to the writers, the cast, the crew. This story meant so much to me but more to all of you and you worked incredibly hard every day, your talent aspired me to work harder and thank you cause now I got one of these,' you show them the oscar, laughing. The crowd chuckle with you.
The camera cuts to Hugh, who watches you with stars in his eyes, reflecting in a pool of his tears.
'Oh god, who else. My agent, thank you. I appreciate it. Um, thanks to me I guess for being a good actress,' you shrug as the room laughs. 'I should probably thank Ryan or he'll force Hugh to do another Wolverine. Hugh,' you focus on him as the crowd chuckles. 'I am so in love with you. I didn't think a heart was capable of beating with so much love but it does- mine does- for you. All time. I love you more than words can describe, more than the whole sky. Thank you all! Thank you!'
Just as Hugh had, you head off to the stage, taking Roberts hand as he smiles and kisses your temple before leading you off.
Backstage, you and Hugh took to doing the interview together. They clapped as you appeared, hand in hand. Both of you looked dishevelled. Your hairs messy, Hugh's collar tugged and your dress crinkled at the end. Your lipstick was smudged too but you still managed some class. While Hugh looked like he'd been laid for the first time.
Still, you held onto each other with one hand and your oscars with the other.
'Hello!' greeted Hugh.
You giggled, hiding your face as Hugh coax's you to stand up, but laughs with you.
Many serious questions were asked as you and Hugh tried your best to pay attention.
'Y/N you looked great tonight, I just want to know what was the process of getting to look so good?' a man asked.
You chuckled, thinking about it as Hugh hid his grin, watching you. 'The process was... um... I took a shower, shaved just in case, you know, I got lucky tonight,' you nudged your hips with Hugh's smirking, 'I raided my friends wardrobe, found this old thing, it fit thank god. And um, yeah?'
Hugh barked a laugh as the crowd laughed at your antics, you having to bend over to laugh with him. Finally, he straightened up, wiping tears from his eyes. 'Sorry, what a night.'
'What a night,' you agreed. 'We've been celebrating so.'
The crowd again laugh, guessing just how the two of you have been celebrating.
As best you can, you answer a couple more questions before you were swooped away to take pictures, Hugh's arm falling lower and lower down your back until it was reasting above your ass.
Some reporter wolf whistled as you guys went and Hugh gripped you, bending his head to kiss you. It wasn't how you'd planned, but he needed to kiss you. Sure, your lips had been all around him less than ten minutes ago, but it wasn't enough, was never enough.
The two of you took your pictures with best actor and supporting actress. All four of you posing together, when it came to just you and Hugh, the two of you were laughing messes as you angled your oscars to kiss like a kid would with barbies.
Then, Hugh wrapped his fingers around the back of your neck and drew you in until he was kissing you, his lips moulding on yours, hand gripping you and camera's flashing.
The next day, Ryan was wearing a shirt of that iconic shot.
taglist (thank you!): @oatmilkriver, @angstdaddy, @chronicallybubbly, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @th3mrskory, @wolfyychan, @chaimshelii,
#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#x men#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman wolverine#deadpool wolverine#deapool and wolverine#james logan howlett
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You are my survival
Azriel x reader
You and Azriel are mates. Az knows it, you don't, that is until a particularly hard training session when the truth finally come out.
Word count: 5k
Requested: no
Warnings: fem reader, shadow play, smut, swearing, choking kink, praise, Azriel's wingspan, oral F and M receiving, Az is a Dom, PinV, we die like men
🔥 means smut will follow
Authors note: this is the first WIP I've finished in like 2 or 3 years so be gentle on me I also wrote this with one of my friends on discord and she is absolutely amazing, constructive criticism is welcome and plz let me know if I missed any tags. Enjoy!
"Pay attention."
His words weren't harsh by any means. No, Azriel would never raise his voice at you, but he'd be lying if he said training you was easy. He watched as you breathed heavily, body glistening with sweat. You'd been at this for hours. Clearly, you'd underestimated just how difficult swordplay was.
"I'm trying my best"
He let out a small chuckle, watching your brows furrow with frustration as he managed to point his sword at your neck, Again.
"Gotcha."
"dammit!"
You threw your sword down in frustration and slinked over to the corner of the ring. Before hugging your knees to your chest and sulking.
"I'm done, I'm quit!"
Sheathing his sword, Azriel approached you slowly, his footsteps silent on the straw-covered floor. He stopped a few feet away, giving you space but close enough to offer comfort.
"Hey, hey now," he murmured softly.
"Don't give up just yet."
He hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside you, keeping a respectful distance.
"Training is hard, y/n. It's supposed to push you, make you stronger. It's okay to feel frustrated, but don't let it consume you."
He glanced at you, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.
"You're doing better than you think. You've improved so much since we started. It's just... progress takes time. And patience." He offered you a small, encouraging smile.
"And maybe some water? You've been at it all day."
"yeah well maybe I should train with someone else because your a thousand times better than me and you have 400 years of experience on me so even if I am getting better your skill just dwarfs mine..."
Azriel looked at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. He had expected such a reaction from you, and he couldn't say that he blamed you either.
"You underestimate yourself," he told you gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"It may take time, but you will get there. Just keep practicing and if you can't believe in yourself, believe in the fact that I'm starting to feel your progress in your punches." As always tried to joke with you slightly but seeing as he got nothing but a half earned smile he let himself fall quiet.
He sighed deeply, his gaze drifting down to his scarred hands fiddling with them idly. There were things he wanted to tell you, things he wanted to share about his past, but he knew you weren't ready for them yet. Maybe one day, when you were strong enough, he could tell you everything.
Following his gaze, you watched as he picked at his nails and cuticles. You had known Az for a few hundred years now and as long as you had known him he had never shared the story of his warped skin and you had never worked up the courage to ask, that was until now.
"can I ask you a question without you getting upset? You can tell me to screw off if you don't want to answer, I won't push." You said in a timid, whispered voice. Azriel turned to look at you, his expression curious.
"Of course, y/n. What is it?"
He kept his tone calm and non-threatening, not wanting to scare you off. Whatever it was, he would do his best to answer honestly.
"what happened to your hands?"
Azriel's expression softened, and he looked down at his hands, his fingers curling slightly as he remembered.
"My hands... They were burned by-" he let out a heavy sigh, flexing his hands under your gaze before continuing.
"they were burned by my brothers, many years ago. I was born a bastard like Cassian so I was treated differently, even by my so-called family. They it left me with these scars."
He lifted his hands, showing you the intricate network of burn scars that covered his palms and fingers. They were a constant reminder of his past, a painful chapter he would rather forget.
"what brings that question to mind?"
you reach to grab his hand but hesitated before touching him.
"I just always wondered if they were painful they still look painful..."He noticed your hesitation and gave you a reassuring nod, encouraging you to continue.
"It doesn't hurt anymore, physically at least. But sometimes, the memories can still be quite painful." He lowered his hands, his gaze returning to yours staying quiet for a beat.
"It's alright, y/n. You won't hurt me by touching them. I won't bite or as Cass would say 'i won't bite unless you want me too'" he says with a half honest grin trying to lift the mood slightly.
He held out his hand, palm facing up, waiting for you to make the first move. He wanted to show you that he trusted you, that he was comfortable with you touching him. "Go ahead, y/n."
you gingerly brushed your fingers over his scarred hand before taking one of his hands in both of your running your thumbs over the back before smile and saying softly
"They always looked soft still..."
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he felt his face heat slightly at the praise. He never wanted to feel anything other than your gentle touch on his scarred hand.
"Because of the burns, my skin never calloused so yeah I guess they are."
He turned his hand over, intertwining his fingers with yours. The warmth of your touch seeped into his skin, soothing the old wounds in ways he hadn't experienced in centuries.
"I never associated touch with comfort before. It feels like home." ' you feel like home' is what he would have said if he had the nerve but kept that thought to himself, thinking it to cheesey to say out loud.
His thumb stroked the back of your hand, a tender gesture that spoke volumes about the unspoken bond between you two. In that moment, the weight of his secrets and the darkness of his past seemed to fade away, replaced by a simple, pure connection with you.
you lifted your head to look at him only to find him already looking at you, your faces close enough to feel each others baited breaths.
Azriel's gaze locked onto yours, his heart pounding against his ribcage like a wild drum. The intensity of your stare was almost overwhelming, stirring feelings within him that he thought long buried.
He leaned closer, his lips inches away from yours. He could smell your scent, a mix of sweat and something uniquely you. It was intoxicating, making his pulse race and his resolve weaken.
For a moment, he considered closing the gap, pressing his lips against yours and losing himself in the warmth of your embrace. But he pulled back, breaking eye contact, reminding himself of the danger in such actions.
without thinking of the consequences of your actions you shot your hand out to cradle the side of his face turning him back to look at you and meet him with pleading look, begging him not to turn away.
Azriel's breath caught in his throat as he felt your hand cup his cheek, turning his face back towards you. He met your pleading gaze, his own eyes filled with a mix of longing and fear.
He wanted nothing more than to surrender to the desire burning within him, to lose himself in your embrace and forget about his past, his fears, and his responsibilities. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet, at least.
With a heavy sigh, he gently removed your hand from his face, his fingertips trailing along your skin as he did so.
"y/n, we can't," he whispered, his voice barely audible.
"I care for you too much to risk putting you in danger. We need to focus on our training, on becoming stronger, you need to be ready for when hyburn attacks."
your pout deepened as you moved back slowly pulling your hand away from his reluctantly as you bit your lip trying to think of something to say to make him change his mind.
"Az we can still train and I've been getting stronger for years, why can't we just," you trail off, not knowing that words for the feeling you felt for him.
Azriel's chest tightened at your pout, a pang of guilt slicing through him as he cut you off. He hated seeing you upset, especially over something he had done.
"It's not because I don't want to," he assured you, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
"It's because I care about you too much. If I give in to these feelings now, it might lead to something neither of us is prepared for, not with so much at stake with war coming."
He paused, his gaze dropping to your lips before lifting back to meet your eyes.
"We're mates. I've known for a while but even though we were designed for each other. And right now with hyburn threatening to breach our borders, our lives and decisions can't be about love or passion-it's about survival"
you pull his face back to you for a last time before running the pads of your thumbs over his cheeks lovingly
"I know that az, but you are my survival. you said it yourself that your my mate, do you really think that I can live without my mate, without you?" You plead tears starting to form in your eyes.
The words hit him like a physical blow, leaving him momentarily speechless. Your admission cut straight to the core of his being, striking a chord within him that resonated with a depth of longing he didn't fully understand.
"You need my love..." he echoed, the words sounding foreign even to his ears. He'd never been loved, let alone needed. The idea was both terrifying and exhilarating.
"I... I don't know if I can give you that. I've never been loved, and I've never loved anyone the way I think I should. you deserve all the love there is in this world, and I don't think I can give you that."
His voice cracked with emotion, betraying the turmoil of feelings welling up inside him.
"you can,"
You step closer still holding his face you pull a hand away to grab his scarred one and place it on your waist and putting your hand on his chest over his heart gingerly.
"You have so much love in your heart that you can't help but let it spill over. You try to act so cold and calloused to everyone but we all feel you how much you love us. "
At your touch, Azriel felt a surge of emotion course through him, his heart pounding wildly against your palm. He stared down at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception or manipulation, but found only sincerity and vulnerability.
"You really believe that, don't you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"That I have love to give?"
He hesitated for a moment, then placed his other hand tentatively on your waist. The warmth of your body seeped into his chilled skin, melting some of the ice that had encased his heart for so long.
"I want to believe it," he admitted, his gaze dropping to your lips once more.
"But I'm afraid of putting you in a dangerous situation that you never need to be in. Afraid of losing control and doing something that could harm you. We both know that my work is extremely dangerous and if you got pulled into that I would never fucking forgive myself"
"Azriel... Your the bravest male I've ever met, please don't stop being brave." You take a final step faces inches apart
Azriel's breath hitched as you closed the remaining distance between you, your bodies nearly touching. He could feel the heat radiating off you, drawing him in like a moth to flame.
"Brave doesn't mean fearless, y/n," he said, his voice low and husky.
"Sometimes bravery means facing your deepest fears, even when every instinct tells you to run." You whisper gingerly brushing you fingers over his leathers laying over his heart.
He reached up, his fingers curling around the nape of your neck as he tilted your head back slightly. His thumb brushed against your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine.
"I'm just scared of failing you, of not being able to protect you. But I'm also scared of missing this chance, of letting my fears hold me back from trying to give us the life the cauldron has laid out for us."
"Then don't let your fears hold you back Az, let me hold them instead." You hold his hand over your cheek and guide his thumb over your lip again gently.
Azriel's resistance crumbled under your gentle guidance, his thumb gliding over your soft, plump lips with a tenderness that surprised even him. He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours as he savored the scent of your skin, the warmth of your breath.
"cauldron..." he murmured, his voice thick with longing.
he closed the final inch of distance, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that was both tentative and desperate, holding your sides as delicately as fine china.
🔥🔥🔥
you surge you hand up to tangle in his hair and let out an audible cry of relief into his mouth.
Azriel groaned softly into the kiss as your hand tangled in his hair, the sensation sending sparks of pleasure through him. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips to explore the warm cavern of your mouth.
As he kissed you, Azriel felt a weight lift from his shoulders, a burden he hadn't realized he carried until it was gone. In your embrace, he found a sense of peace, of belonging, that he had never known before.
Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, panting lightly as he struggled to catch his breath. "Y/n, I've wanted this for so long," he confessed, his voice rough with emotion.
"Wanted to hold you, touch you, taste you now."
"then don't fucking stop now." You practically begged, chasing his lips.
Your impassioned plea sent a jolt of desire through Azriel, his grip on you tightening as he ground his hips against yours, the hard length of his arousal pressing insistently against your belly.
"Oh, god, baby," he gasped, his breath hot against your skin.
"I won't stop, not now, not ever again." His hands trailing down to your ass, gently kneading the flesh under your fighting leathers.
"You're mine, and I'm going to fuck you so hard, make you scream my name until you forget everyone else exists."With that declaration, Azriel swept you up into his arms and winnowed you back to the house of wind before.
carrying you towards his bedroom as he devoured your mouth in a frenzy of kisses, his hands roaming your curves with a hunger that bordered on desperation. your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you and you press your breasts against his chest, mewl desperately against his lips.
The sound of your moans vibrating against his lips was music to Azriel's ears, fueling his already raging desire. He kicked open the door to his bedroom, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity as he laid you down onto the plush mattress.
"Gods, babygirl," he growled, his hands tracing the outline of your curves as he knelt beside you, his eyes devouring every inch of your exposed flesh. "You're so beautiful, so perfect..."
Without another word, he began to undress you, peeling away each layer of your leathers with a reverence that belied his usual cool demeanor. As he revealed your skin to his hungry gaze, he marveled at the sight, at the swell of your breasts, the curve of your hips, the sweet dip of your navel.
"And you smell divine,"
Azriel couldn't help but lean down, his tongue darting out to trace a path along the delicate line of your collarbone, savoring the taste of your skin. He licked and nibbled his way down your body, pausing to lavish attention on each breast, his tongue swirling around your nipples before taking them into his mouth, sucking gently.
His hands weren't idle either, slipping down to cup your ass, squeezing the firm flesh as he continued his descent. His shadows hooked around the sides of your panties, dragging them down your thighs with a teasing slowness that left you squirming beneath him.
"Tell me what you want, baby," he whispered against your skin, his voice a husky murmur.
"What do you crave? Tell me how to make you come undone?"
you reached down to Palm the tent in his fighting leathers at the words and using your other hand to wrap the scared flesh of his hand around your throat.
"I want you to use me, own me Azriel."
At your command, Azriel's heart pounded with a wild rhythm, his cock throbbing in your grasp. He allowed you to control his movements, his hand tightening around your throat in a gesture that was both possessive and protective while one of his larger shadows gently brushed against the side of your face in stark contrast.
"You're mine now, babygirl," he breathed, his voice laced with raw need.
"And I plan to worship every gods-damned inch of you."
With that promise, he slid down further, his lips trailing kisses along your inner thigh, his breath hot against your sensitive flesh. He paused just above where you needed him most, his eyes locking with yours as he teased you mercilessly.
"Do you want more?" he asked, his voice a seductive whisper. "Do you want my mouth on you, tasting you?"
"gods yes please!" You hold his hand tightly around his throat encouraging him to squeeze harder what you arch your back of the bed in hopes of inching your cunt closer to his mouth.
Azriel's grip around your throat tightened slightly at your eager response, his thumb applying just enough pressure to send a thrill of excitement through you. With a low growl, he finally gave in to your pleas, his mouth descending upon your dripping folds.
He lavished your pussy with attention, his tongue delving deep inside you as he fucked you with slow, deliberate strokes while flicks of dark swirl around your clit. He explored every inch of your sex, savoring the taste of your arousal, the feel of your slick walls clenching around his tongue.
As he ate you out, Azriel's free hand roamed your body, palming your breasts, pinching your nipples, leaving trails of fire and cold in its wake. He could feel your climax building, could taste your sweet submission on his tongue, and it only fueled his own desire.
"come on babygirl, ride my face while you come."
He brought one of your hands to tangle in his hair and wrapped his arms around the tops of your thighs encouraging you to buck into his tongue.
Your hips bucked off the bed as you came hard on his tongue, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave, your juices flowing freely as you cried out his name, your fingers tangling in his hair, holding him close.
Azriel drank in your release, his tongue lapping up every drop of your essence as he savored the taste of your pleasure. He held you tight, his mouth never leaving your pussy as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, your cries of ecstasy music to his ears.
Only when you finally went limp did he release you, his face glistening with your arousal. He crawled up your body, his chocolate eyes blazing with a fierce possessiveness as he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss.
"Now it's my turn," he growled against your lips, his hands tearing at his leathers to free his straining cock.
"Get on your knees, baby, I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."
You eagerly roll onto your stomach and push yourself off the bed and onto your knees Infront of him batting your lashes and staring up at him with lust filled eyes.
Azriel watched you move, his heart pounding with a mix of desire and admiration. Your eagerness was intoxicating, fueling his own need even further. He discarded his leathers completely, revealing his veined cock, throbbing with need.
Azriel's breath caught in his throat at the sight of you kneeling before him, your eyes filled with hunger and desire. He ran a hand through your disheveled hair, his fingers tangling in your locks as he guided your head towards his aching cock.
"Open wide, love," *he murmured, his voice thick with need.
"Show me how much you need me."
you took him into your mouth, Azriel let out a low groan, his hips bucking involuntarily. Your warm, wet mouth felt like heaven, and he had to fight the urge to thrust too hard, too fast. Instead, he set a steady pace, his hands guiding your head as you sucked the tip every time he pulled out.
"Fuck, good girl," he gasped, his grip tightening in your hair. "You fucking feel incredible..."You moaned softly as you took him deeper into your mouth working your tongue over his cock, your hands reaching up to cup his balls as you continue to suckle on his cock.
The sensation of your tongue working over his length, coupled with the feeling of your hands on his balls, sent jolts of pleasure coursing through Azriel's body. He watched you, entranced by the sight of your lips stretched around his cock, the sound of your soft moans vibrating against him.
"That's right, baby," he purred, his voice heavy with lust.
"Take all of me... Show me how much you want this..."
He began to move faster, his hips rocking into your mouth, setting a rhythm that had him teetering on the brink of release. His fingers threaded through your hair, urging you on, pushing you to take him even deeper.
"fuck yes! Good girl, just like tha- oh such fucking good girl!"
You moan louder now sending subtle vibrations down his shaft, your cheeks hollowing out as you suck harder on his cock, taking him deeper each time until he hits the back of your throat. You gag softly but quickly recover and continue sucking him off as if your life depends on it.
The feeling of your throat constricting around his cock was almost too much for Azriel to bear. He grunted, his hands gripping your hair tighter as he fucked your mouth with abandon, his hips snapping forward with each thrust.
"Oh gods, baby..." he groaned, his voice ragged with need.
"You're going to make me come so fucking hard..."
His cock throbbed in your mouth, signaling his imminent release. With a final, powerful thrust, he spilled his seed into your willing mouth, his cum coating your tongue and spilling down your chin.
"That's it... Swallow it all..."
Swiping your fingers over your chin you collect the molten cream and swallow every last drop of his cum, your throat working to milk him dry, your eyes locked on his as you gaze up at him with a look of complete satisfaction and devotion.
Azriel watched, transfixed, as your throat bobbed swallowing his cum, your tongue working to milk him dry. He let out a satisfied sigh, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as he admired the look of complete satisfaction on your face.
"You're amazing," he murmured, pulling out of your mouth and offering you a hand up.
"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did."
With a smile, he pulled you into his arms for a deep, passionate kiss, his hands roaming over your body as he savored the taste of you still lingering on his tongue.
You lean into his touch, your body pressed tightly against his as you kiss him back just as passionately, your hands running over his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his skin.
Azriel dominated you mouth with a throaty moan, his hands exploring your curves with a growing urgency. He broke away from the kiss only long enough to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.
"I want more," he whispered huskily,
"but I think we should save some energy for later."With that, he lifted you effortlessly, carrying you back to the bed where he laid you down, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked down at you.
You giggle lightly as he lays you back down on the bed, your legs parting slightly as you invite him closer.
Azriel's gaze followed the movement of your legs, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth as he saw the invitation in your eyes. He climbed onto the bed, settling between your thighs, his weight supported on his elbows as he gazed down at you.
"Impatient little thing, aren't you?" he teased, his voice low and playful.
He leaned down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak before giving it a gentle bite.
"But don't worry, love. I plan to take full advantage of that"
Feeling your hands in his hair, Azriel gave a low chuckle, the vibration of his laughter traveling straight to your breasts. He continued his attentions, alternating between teasing your nipples and tracing patterns across your skin with his tongue.
"Hmm, sounds like someone wants more," he murmured, his voice muffled against your flesh.
Pulling back slightly, he shifted his position, aligning his cock with your slick entrance. Without another word, he pushed inside you, filling you completely with a single, smooth stroke.
You arch your back, pressing your breasts back into his waiting mouth as he teases and bites at your sensitive nipples, a soft moan escaping your lips. Your hands find their way to his hair, tangling in the strands as you pull him closer, desperate for more of his touch.
"Fucking hell, babygirl..." he groaned, his hips beginning to rock slowly as he adjusted to your tight warmth. impatience."
He moved to your other breast, lavishing the same attention upon it, all while grinding his hardening cock against your core. Your back arches off the bed as he fills you, a sharp gasp leaving your lips at the sudden intrusion. But as he begins to move, slow and deliberate, you relax into him, your inner walls clenching around his thickness.
"Ah... yes..." you breathe out, your hands tightening in his hair.
"Just like that... Don't stop..."
Hearing your plea, Azriel picked up the pace, his hips snapping forward with increasing urgency. Each thrust drove him deeper into your welcoming heat, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.
"Gods, you feel incredible," he growled, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dueling with yours as he fucked you relentlessly.
His hands roamed your body, squeezing your ass cheeks, tracing the curve of your waist, and finally, cupping your breasts once again, thumbing your nipples into stiff peaks.
You meet his kiss with equal fervor, your tongue dancing with his as you lose yourself in the sensation of being filled so completely. Your legs wrap around his ass, pulling him even deeper within you, urging him on.
"Oh god, Azriel!" you cry out, your walls spasming around him, milking him for all he's worth.
Feeling your orgasm ripple through you, Azriel let out a guttural roar, burying himself as deep as he could go as he found his own release. He came hard, pulsing streams of hot cum inside you, his body shuddering with the force of it.
"baby Fuck, y/n-" he gasped, collapsing forward, catching himself on his elbows to keep from crushing you before pulling out and gently resting himself on top of you, his hips still between your legs and his head resting on your breasts.
He stayed there for a moment, panting, his heart pounding against your chest, before slowly rolling to the side, taking you with him so you were draped across his chest.
"That was... intense," he panted, his fingers trailing lazily up and down your spine.
"Are you okay, baby?"
"Yeah... That was amazing." you murmur, snuggling closer to him, enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking.
As you lay there, spent and satisfied, your the aftershocks of your orgasm. You nod weakly, a contented smile tugging at your lips.
Azriel smiled, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as you nestled against him. He could feel the warmth of your body pressed to his, the steady beat of your heart against his chest.
"I know, baby," he said softly, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.
"And it's only going to get better from here."
His hand trailed lower, his fingers finding your hip, where he gave a gentle squeeze.
"Now rest, we've got plenty of time to explore more later when you can feel your legs again." He taunted with a tired grin.
You sigh contentedly with a fucked out smile on your face, feeling utterly relaxed and loved. You close your eyes, letting the warmth of his body envelope you, and drift off to sleep in his arms.
Watching you drift off to sleep, Azriel couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the moment. Here, in his embrace, safe and protected, with his beautiful mate, it was everything he could ever want. And now, it seemed, he had it all.
With a final lingering look, he allowed himself to relax fully, his breathing evening out to match yours. As he drifted toward sleep, he knew one thing for certain - this was just the beginning.
#acotar men x reader#azriel x plus size reader#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel fanfic#azriel smut#acotar smut#acomaf#rhysand#rhysand x reader#cassian x reader#lucien x reader
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make official | lhs
pairing: dad!heeseung x stepmom!reader genres: fluff, slight angst wc: 5.2k+
꒰ 𝅄 warnings ꒱ : a bit of discussion, mention of bruising and blood, mention of food, gently suggestive at the end.
꒰ 𝅄 synopsis ꒱ : you and heeseung have been together for a while, sharing life and even the upbringing of little aimi. even so, he wants to make the request official to call you his girl, but a miscommunication scuppers heeseung's plan. he may not be able to make the request himself.
꒰ 𝅄 notes ꒱ : honestly can't explain the amount of requests i've had for part two. i tried to put together a bit of everything... i thought of something a bit more distressing, but with a child in the story my pedagogical heart softened, so i didn't get something as distressing as that (thank goodness)!!! i hope you enjoy it.
꒰ 𝅄 part 1 | masterlist ꒱
"Seriously, I need to make this really official" Heeseung sighed, drinking some of his beer and placing the mug on the bar table.
Friday was the day to drink with the guys and talk as much as they could without the girls being around. And that subject was ideal for him to broach with the guys.
Looking ahead and noticing the attentive gazes of his best friends, he knew that this silence wouldn't last long, and besides, Jay was already finishing another sip of his drink so he could answer.
"Let me get this straight" the boy wiped his lips off any traces of alcohol, glancing at Jake and Sunghoon, then fixed his gaze on Heeseung who was sitting in front of him "You want to make the relationship you're having with my sister official?"
"Yes" Heeseung replied.
Jay remained silent for a while longer, choosing to take another sip of his beer.
"After more than a year you've been together?" Heeseung knew that the emphasis was ironic on Jay's part, and judging by the looks on the faces of the other two seated, he knew they were thinking the same thing too.
"I know, but it's just that there's never been a request, you know?"
"Do you want to ask y/n to be your girlfriend officially?" Sunghoon asked him. Heeseung nodded in agreement, playing with the stem of his beer mug without facing any of his friends this time.
"Dude, you made it official a long time ago" Jake laughed a little "You two live together, share the care of Aimi, and treat each other like married couples. Do you know what that is?"
Looking at it this way, Heeseung could tell that they had been official for a long time. He decided to trust what he felt from the day he kissed you for the first time in the living room of his parent's house, where you showed that you wanted to be with him and, above all, seemed to want to take care of Aimi as much as he did.
Heeseung was right. Little by little he introduced you to the little one's life, like simple things: picking her up from school, having dinner sometime at Heeseung's apartment. Aimi even cried one night when you said you'd go home and come back the next day. In conclusion, that was the first night you slept at Heeseung's apartment, wearing one of his t-shirts with Aimi's arms around you at a slumber party in the living room.
It was only a matter of time – or routine, as you both liked to think – that you picked up some clothes and left them at Heeseung's apartment. Or that you went to pick Aimi up from school because her father was leaving work late.
This brought you closer to his daughter. It brought you even closer as a couple. And neither of you could answer when the exact day was that you moved into his apartment. Neither of you could say when you started bathing Aimi and waiting for Heeseung on the sofa, to have dinner, read a story, and sleep as a family.
His friends were right, it all became even more official as he thought about the events of the last year. You never considered leaving him because he spent time with his daughter, as others had told him. You kept your promise by spending more time with her than her father did. The two of you even established things together for her upbringing, and you didn't even know how to tell Heeseung that the role of mother was filling your heart with joy.
It wasn't something to think about, nor did he think he'd have someone under his own roof playing mother to his daughter. But while you were there doing everything without a hint of effort, with a smile on your face and sometimes even tears in your eyes at the little girl's achievements, or even in moments of fever or something. He knew he had made the right choice.
"But if you want to" Jay's voice snapped him out of his reverie, making Heeseung sigh and face the boy who was now looking directly at him, "you can think about how to officially ask her."
"I need you all to help me" he said.
"We'll help" Jake smiled.
"Go to the beach tomorrow, just you and her" Sunghoon finished his drink and leaned back on the bar stool, running his hand through his hair before placing it on the table and drumming his fingers "We'll babysit our princess Aimi and you and y/n can enjoy the official proposal."
"I don't know, sometimes I think Sunghoon thinks so well" Jay whined, pretending to be thrilled.
But the reality was that the idea had been incredible.
"That's when you're not swearing at me" he retorted.
"But you deserve it!"
Jake rolled his eyes at Heeseung, leaving Jay and Sunghoon to continue the discussion while the other two thought about and came up with a weekend plan for the official proposal.
Perhaps something simple and completely romantic, as you liked and he knew very well. Jake could help you find a hotel facing the sea so that you and he could go for a walk in the evening and he could propose.
Heeseung was already getting anxious and, even though he knew you would accept, it was as if he was back in his teens. His stomach churned and his heart pounded as he smiled at Jake and thanked him for his help.
Heeseung's fingers gripped the leather of the steering wheel tightly. He was trying his best not to speed up any more than he had to, but he knew that he had already gone over the limit since he had received his call to meet him at the hospital.
He didn't even know if he had parked correctly when he stopped the car, let alone hear if anyone had said anything to him. Heeseung just ran into the building in search of the waiting room where you had informed him.
Heeseung could have sworn he was going to throw up at any moment.
Hi love, can you meet me at the hospital? Aimi and I have a little problem...
What kind of fucking problem was it? Because Heeseung's eyes were already blurring as he found the hospital room.
He stopped his hurried steps when he looked down the corridor and found you. You were talking to a doctor, with gray hair and a well-pressed lab coat. As Heeseung wandered his eyes over the two of you, he noticed Aimi lying on your shoulder.
That habit had remained from when the two of you first met. He thought it was the most adorable thing in the world that it had been his daughter's place of comfort. Almost every night, she would lie on your shoulder on the sofa and fall asleep before going to bed to listen to the story Heeseung told her before going to sleep.
One night he himself lay on your shoulder to see if it really was magic or if his daughter just liked to rest everywhere... He woke up two hours later, almost drooling and with you focused on the television, laughing softly as he got up, completely tired from the nap he had taken.
So yes, your shoulder was an extremely comfortable place to sleep.
But why was Aimi wearing a bandage on her head? Why was Heeseung running back toward the two of you? He almost screamed when he saw his little girl with that, already imagining a thousand scenarios where she'd had some suture, where that gray-haired doctor had bullied her and he was sure to end up with him and that lab coat that he now found ugly.
"Hey" he said as soon as he got close enough to the three of you.
"Hey, love" you greeted him first, turning towards Heeseung and feeling his lips on your forehead. The man bent down enough to kiss the top of Aimi's head in the process.
"So, you're the father?" the doctor asked, he just nodded.
"What happened? Is Aimi all right? Are you all right?" he could hear the tremor in your voice and felt like he was going to cry at any moment. You gave him a weak smile and then looked at the doctor.
"Usually mom is more nervous than dad," he laughed, "but I see you're the one who's calm around here, Mrs. Lee."
Mrs. Lee.
"But everything's under control now. Aimi was under observation for two and a half hours and has been released to go home."
"Two and a half hours?" Heeseung said loudly, almost scaring the little girl resting on his shoulder. He apologized to his daughter while looking at you and then at the doctor.
The man saw that he had said too much, or even knew that it wasn't a matter for him to deal with, so he just said goodbye and gave the two of you his contact details in case you needed to come back. You knew you wouldn't, so you just took Heeseung and Aimi home.
"Shall we?" you asked, cradling the little one in your arms and ready to leave the hospital.
"Two hours? What the fuck is two hours?"
"Heeseung" you warned him.
Swearing in Aimi's presence. He hissed an apology as he walked with you to the car.
"How did you get here? Two hours ago?" the irony in his voice already indicated how angry he was.
"Heejin brought us, I couldn't drive" you whispered after you reached Heeseung's car.
He carefully and calmly put his daughter in the back seat, into the car seat, and then buckled the seat belt. As soon as he closed the door, you didn't move.
"What?" he asked.
"The keys. You're not going to drive like that." He would have asked you 'like what?'. Not when you knew him so well and knew that he was shaking so badly with nerves that he could barely hold the wheel again.
So choosing to hand over the keys was the right thing to do. Heeseung going in the passenger seat and you taking the wheel to get home.
"Now can you please explain to me what's going on?"
You sighed loudly at the stoplight, looking over to find Heeseung's eyes already fixed on yours.
"Aimi fell at school and hit her head" you said. "It was absolutely nothing serious, but the nursery called me and I just thought I'd ask Heejin to bring us."
"And you didn't think to call me at the time?" he tried not to raise his voice out of nervousness, his heart completely racing at that moment.
"I knew you'd freak out more than you are now, and I think I only made things difficult because I was afraid you'd get sick."
The intention was valid and indeed true. Knowing Heeseung and how one hundred percent concerned he was, it might have been possible for the boy to faint while receiving the news of what had happened to Aimi.
There was a moment of silence while he thought about what to say. Heeseung knew you were right, but at the same time, he let his feelings go to his head, not even thinking about what was coming out of his mouth.
"What about taking care of serious matters about Aimi together?" he still looked at you, even though his attention was on the road now.
"I was just as worried about you as I was about her" your voice tried to be as soft as possible for him, both to calm him down and so as not to wake the sleepy little girl in the back seat.
"And you only let me know two hours later. Right!" he laughed humorlessly "If you were really worried about me, you would have told me what really happened and not deprived me of taking you and her to the hospital."
"Heeseung..."
"Why did you tell me at the hospital, y/n? Why didn't you wait until we got home?" he raised his voice without even realizing it.
"Heeseung" you called him again, but he didn't hear.
"Were you going to wait for me in the living room of our apartment with a heart bandage on her forehead and tell me it was a surprise?"
"Lee Heeseung!" you altered your voice a little more, stopping at another traffic light and looking at him in the process "Code orange" you finished when he looked back at you, feeling that the boy was analyzing every inch of your face.
"Dad?" Aimi called out. He turned on the spot and held her hand, seeing that his daughter had gone back to sleep.
Code Orange was a language the two of you had created so that you could use it when moments like this happened. Any argument, any disagreement around Aimi and all you had to do was say Code Orange to remind each other that she was there. And then you'd stop whatever you were saying so as not to scare her.
He didn't say anything else. He kept holding Aimi's hand until you drove home.
The routine has been the same since the three of you arrived home together. The only difference was that Heeseung kept quiet while you went to the kitchen and you walked with Aimi on your lap to the bedroom to get her things and prepare a bath.
Heeseung felt he'd blown it the moment he heard you talking about Code Orange.
He knows he crossed the line. He knows that it all hit him at once and with nerves and worry, things got completely out of hand.
Unforeseen events tend to happen in people's lives, and Heeseung knew that this triples when you become a father. He often heard from his parents, or even your parents, how things could get out of hand.
He remembers exactly the day at the amusement park when he was taking it easy with you and whatever was going to happen between the two of you. Heeseung was always on alert in case something happened to his daughter, but on the night he decided he was going to kiss you for the first time, Aimi got a fever. She felt sick and ran to meet her daughter. That unforeseen event was the first you two had experienced together.
Heeseung remembers every little event when the two of you had to change course just because things hadn't gone according to plan, and he hadn't let it get out of hand because he knew that unforeseen events happen. Becoming a father was already an unforeseen event in his life and each thing that happened made him prove his point.
He then ran a hand through his hair, frustrated by the whole thing because it wasn't that the official request had been completely sidetracked. It was because he was so worried about Aimi and ended up arguing with you just because he let his nerves get the better of him.
In our year-long relationship, he had never argued so seriously with you about anything. It wasn't the first time you'd done something with Aimi and told him hours later, but Heeseung knew it was because his heart was racing with the name of the two of you and the word little problem in the same sentence. You've never had a problem.
"What the fuck, Heeseung!" he wanted to tear his hair out as he remembered your stern eyes on him, your hands gripping the steering wheel tightly because he knew you didn't want to argue either. Whether in front of Aimi or not, neither of you wanted that.
Making amends was the only thing to do, but how? The request to make it official was already ruined and he had to come up with a plan B that he had no idea about, not least because the main plan hadn't even been his idea in the first place.
Sighing and throwing his head back, Heeseung opted to scour the app on his cell phone in search of something to eat. He wasn't in the mood to cook and didn't want to search the cupboards for something instant for the three of you, especially since he knew you'd been away from home too long and would need something substantial.
So he walked slowly to the bathroom which contained a huge bathtub, where you used to bathe Aimi every day while Heeseung prepared the food or did anything else. At your daughter's request, since she said she liked to talk to you during that time.
"I was too strong" Aimi's voice interrupted Heeseung's thoughts, as he stopped in the middle of the corridor and noticed the bathroom door open. He took a few more steps, enough to see that the bathtub was full, lots of colored foam that you only put in on days when Aimi really needed it – today was one of those days – and you were sitting on the floor, facing her.
"Of course you did, I'm so proud, actually" you said so encouragingly that Aimi clapped her hands, raising some foam and laughing along with you when one of them splashed onto your pants.
"I love you" Aimi told you.
"I love you too, my love" came your reply immediately. Heeseung sighed lovingly.
"Like my mom?"
Silence. Heeseung felt his throat go dry and didn't know why you hadn't answered Aimi's question. Whether you were thinking about something or whether it had caught you off guard as much as it had.
The truth was that yes, you loved her as your daughter. But neither you nor Heeseung rushed into things, not least because he wanted you to feel comfortable, and also because he didn't know how you felt about it. Your relationship with Aimi strengthened so naturally that outsiders thought you were mother and daughter. And when asked, no one denied it.
"Do you want me to be?" you asked after a while.
At that moment, your hands brushed some of the soap out of her hair, while Aimi played with some rubber animals floating on the water.
"I want to. I want to!" the little girl's excitement almost makes you cry if it weren't for the little arms around your neck in a tight hug. You didn't even care if you got wet or not.
And at that moment Heeseung felt his heart fill up. A few more steps he leaned against the doorframe, his eyes watering and only noticed when the scene in front of him became a little blurry. He had to blink a few times to keep the tears at bay.
"Dad! Dad!" Aimi greeted the boy, releasing herself from your embrace and making you turn quickly towards him "I want y/n to be my mother."
"Do you?" he asked.
Even though it had been in a soothing tone because of Aimi, you knew that the question had been asked as much for her as for you. Because as soon as his eyes shifted in your direction, you just nodded and turned your attention back to the little girl.
"I really want to" she sounded just as excited as the first time she'd said "Dad, did you know that mom y/n didn't let go of my hand today?"
"Really? And you want to tell me what happened at school?"
"Mom, can we let Dad in on the bath talk?"
She had never called you mom. Neither you nor Heeseung had heard it from her in the whole year of their relationship. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your mouth and you only realized you were about to cry when you heard Heeseung sniffling softly behind you.
"Of course, if he wants to" you tried not to let your voice get shaky.
Heeseung didn't want to risk saying anything or he'd cry even more, and he was grateful that his daughter was excited and didn't realize that both he and you were emotional. He sat on the toilet seat while he listened to Aimi tell the story.
How she defended herself against a little boy who picked on her at school. She also told how he didn't want to let her go down the slide, so she fought with him, but when she went down she hadn't been paying attention and hit her head on the tunnel before going down.
Noticing now that the little girl no longer had the bandage on her forehead, he saw the small cut. Something completely superficial and which probably shocked the teachers and even you because he thought about the amount of blood that came out. Confirming this as soon as you said it yourself after Aimi had finished counting the parts she could.
"How about we finish this bath and order dinner?" Heeseung let out a long sigh after laughing at some of the other things his daughter had said, hearing her giggle too.
"Sushi?" Aimi's eyes lit up at that.
"Are my girls okay with sushi?" he asked.
"We are!" you and Aimi replied together, and then Heeseung got up to order dinner.
It could have been considered a long wait until he ordered through the app, waited for it to arrive, and set everything up in the room. But he did it so calmly that you had time to finish Aimi's bath, dry her off, and put her pajamas on so that you could go into the living room and have dinner as a family.
"Can we watch it?" the little girl asked, smiling when her father agreed and let the two of you sit down on the sofa to eat.
Dinner was filled with laughter and more stories from little Aimi, a few comments about the cartoon the three of you were watching, and even the repetition of food because, according to her, it was so tasty.
After another hour the little one fell asleep on Heeseung's lap, which was something new because she always preferred to stay on your lap before she fell asleep. So maybe that's why he had the biggest smile on his face.
"Do you want some help?" you asked as you turned off the television.
"All right, I'll put her to bed then," Heeseung nodded in agreement and got up.
He walked off towards the bedrooms, leaving you to tidy up for dinner while he took great care to walk with his daughter on his lap without waking her. This had been done by him countless times, but he seemed to have lost the practice after you came into their lives because Aimi always called on you to do it.
And he loved this connection between the two of you so much. That's why he was happy. Because you had done something that he had always been used to doing alone, and by returning to it, things were fitting together more and more in Heeseung's mind.
Placing Aimi on the bed, he kissed her on the top of the head and smiled at the sleeping figure of his daughter. She was sleeping so peacefully that she didn't even look like she had bumped her head during the day – and faced a little boy at school – but Heeseung pretended not to have heard. He wanted to leave it to the girls since it was a bathtime conversation.
"I love you, little one" Heeseung whispered to Aimi as soon as he had tucked her under the covers, turning on the lamp before slowly leaving the room.
Now he needed to think about how to apologize to you and how to start this conversation. Maybe saying he loved you could also be a good thing, right? Or he could use the puppy-dog eyes tactic because that worked with you sometimes.
No, it was quite serious, he couldn't joke about it.
What would Heeseung do anyway? He started to panic as soon as he got to the living room and everything was tidied up. So you were probably already in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes, and as soon as he entered the room, you realized it was true.
"Did you get it?" you asked when you saw him standing in the kitchen doorway.
"I never miss a beat" he smiled, even though your attention was on the dish you were washing.
Not even a glance in his direction, not even a smile from the corner of your lips. Nothing. Heeseung wanted to scream and run away, but he chose to approach in slow steps and stand behind you.
At first, your posture seemed intact because you didn't notice that he had come so close, but when his hands found your waist and he pressed your back against his chest, you stopped everything you were doing.
Heeseung felt your body stiffen for a few seconds and then calm down as he slid his hands down your exposed skin from your hips to your belly and hugged you from behind.
"I'm sorry" he whispered with his lips between your hair.
"What?" you understood a little garbled because he hadn't said it clearly, but you wanted to be sure of the words or if you weren't thinking too much.
Meanwhile, you wiped your hands before forcing yourself to face him with Heeseung's hands still on your waist.
"I said I'm sorry" his voice could now be heard more clearly. Heeseung looked deep into your eyes as he heard you sigh softly.
"Heeseung, I—"
"No, I need to talk first. May I?" he asked. Your nod encouraged him to speak even though he didn't even know what he was doing in the first place.
Heeseung never got to that part where he needed to fix what he'd done or saw the person in front of him willing to listen to him. He had also never felt so much love – apart from his daughter – that made him feel complete.
He looked into your eyes, seeking even more approval as he leaned down to rest his forehead against yours.
"I'm sorry I was an idiot and broke the orange code" he whispered, a breath of air from his lips going straight against your skin. The sensation was so familiar, yet it always made you shiver "I'm sorry because as well as being worried about everything that happened, I was so frustrated."
You raised one of your hands, placing your icy fingers against his skin. Heeseung shivered at the touch, not because of the temperature, but because your hand was touching him.
"Frustrated with what?" your touch wasn't enough, you had to caress his cheek so lovingly and then slide your fingers to the back of his neck that Heeseung swore, right then, that he had to kiss you.
And he did. But it was as quick as it started because he wanted to talk and needed to get it off his chest.
"Earlier today I was with the boys and I had the desire to make things official with you" the boy felt each word come out so freely as his hands rested against your waist. You continued to caress the back of his neck and this time kissed the corner of his lips when you noticed that he seemed nervous before saying the next words "I was going to take you to the beach tomorrow. The boys would stay with Aimi and... Well... I'd officially ask you..."
Your hand stopped caressing him. He didn't know if that was good or bad, so he momentarily moved his forehead away from yours so that he could look into your eyes. They were attentive to Heeseung. Every movement, every word, everything that came from him.
"I know that after we become parents, unforeseen events happen and I've heard this from my parents, from yours, from colleagues who are parents. It really does happen" he explained so seriously that you found the pout that formed on Heeseung's lips cute "And I was frustrated because, as well as knowing that we wouldn't be able to go to the beach tomorrow, Aimi got hurt and I couldn't be there for the two of you."
"But you're with us every step of the way..."
"I know, love. I know that" he brought his face close to yours again "I think one thing joined another and I only saw the shit I'd done after you warned me. So I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it wasn't your fault" you said softly, causing Heeseung's heart to calm down a little.
He knew he was lucky from the moment he met you. He just didn't feel like he deserved it at this moment when everything seemed to make him feel bad about what had happened. Even with you telling him that everything was fine, the way Heeseung found to further derail his apology about you was to kiss you.
For real this time. Then he put one hand on your waist and brought the other up to your face to push away the hair that insisted on staying there.
Taking one last look into your eyes, Heeseung smiled before joining his lips to yours. The kiss started slowly, just longing for that touch as the wet muscles slid over each other. You allowed him to press your body to his as the kiss began to intensify, seeming more needy, urgent, and with a euphoric Heeseung pulling you even closer to him.
Neither of you felt like stopping it, both of you wanting anything that was stopping you – the clothes – to be out of the way and for everything to work out the way you both wanted it to. But before anything else, the air search was clear, so he slowly stopped the kiss, leaving his mouth still pressed to yours.
"I think the officiating was done by someone else today" Heeseung said a little too breathlessly, hearing your ragged breathing against his skin as well.
"What do you mean?" you asked.
He smiled, opening his eyes and seeing the sight of you with red, wet lips right in front of him. Something he would never get sick of seeing.
"I overheard some of the conversation in the shower today" Heeseung began. His lips went straight to your forehead, leaving them resting there as he whispered, "Her calling you mom for the first time just made me sure that making what we have official doesn't need a right place or need to be done by me."
"Heeseung…"
"I love you, y/n" he said, his lips coming away from your forehead so that he could look at you one more time as he spoke "I love you and I've known that we've been official since that first kiss in your mother's living room."
"I love you, you idiot" you said, your heart racing and full of love. You hugged him and kissed the tip of his nose as you lifted your feet to reach him "And that was definitely the best official request in the world. No beach can top that."
He laughed at your comment and pressed his lips to yours again, but without kissing them this time.
"Now how about you bath me too? I've had a busy day and I think I need to relax."
"You're worthless, that's for sure" you laughed, but under no circumstances would you deny Heeseung's request.
© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#heeseung fluff#lee heeseung#heeseung#enhypen heeseung#enhypen au#enhypen masterlist#enhypen x reader#heeseung fanfics#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen imagines#bay writes.
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Luke Alvez x Reader: Promise You'll Call
Prompt: hi first i just want to say i love you writing so much. Do you think you could write something where luke finds out the reader’s significant other is harming them (mentally or physically)? I understand this is a rough topic but i was just going through a hard time with flashbacks. I understand if you can’t, thank you!
Word count: 7k (idk how this got to be so long)
Warnings: DV mention (in detail), blood tw
A/N: ayyyyooo, it's been forever since i've posted, but enjoy! i wanted to post, so i haven't proof read yet, so please excuse any grammatical mistakes, I'll go back and fix tomorrow :)
Luke honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It just so happened that he was still in his truck, finishing up the burnt bagel he’d made in a rush this morning when you pulled into the parking garage. At first, Luke didn’t recognize that it was you in the black BMW that stopped in the middle of the garage, right behind his own truck. But when he peeked through his rearview mirror, he saw you sitting in the passenger seat, tucking a curtain of hair behind your ear.
Luke’s stomach flipped, the same way it did every time he saw you.
Except this time, he actually felt guilty for it, because he was pretty sure the guy driving the car was your boyfriend. Luke was new to the team in the last year, and while he’d done a pretty good job getting to know everyone at the BAU, he still hadn’t met partners or family yet. You were one of the few agents who never talked about your personal life at work.
But even though Luke couldn’t see the man driving the car, as soon as you cracked open the passenger side door, he certainly heard him.
Was it even considered eavesdropping if the entire parking garage could hear?
“I’m not done talking!” The man’s voice echoed across the entire garage, causing Luke to straighten in his seat.
“Will you lower your voice?” You snapped back in a hushed tone, before looking around the space, clearly embarrassed.
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!”
“The whole city is going to hear you, Justin, please.”
“I don’t care if they do– get back in the fucking car!”
Something in Luke’s chest began boiling at the sound of his tone. Did he always speak to you that way? He fought back the urge to peel himself out of his truck. You were his coworker– not his girlfriend. It wasn’t his place to knock this guy down a few pegs, no matter how badly he wanted to.
“I have nothing else to say to you right now–”
“Good, don’t talk. Fucking listen for once in your life!”
“You’re being ridiculous,” you said, voice eerily calm. It was like you were almost used to this kind of fighting– like you knew the exact steps to take to attempt de-escalating him. “I have to get to work. We’ll talk about this later.”
“If you shut that fucking door, you’re walking home. I swear to–” but the man’s voice was abruptly cut off by you shutting the door.
Luke secretly felt proud as he watched you turn and walk away from the BMW without looking back.
Suddenly, music blared through the speakers of the car before Luke heard tires squealing while the car drove away. Luke remained in place while he heard your footsteps fade into the distance, not wanting to embarrass you further or let you know he’d been heard the entire conversation that just played out.
But while he gave you a moment to catch the elevator without him, Luke didn’t like the feeling that settled in his stomach. If your boyfriend acted like that in the middle of the bureaus parking garage, what the hell was he like behind closed doors?
…
You fought back tears for the entire elevator ride. Thank God no one got into the lift with you, so you at least had a moment of peace before having to pull everything together.
Justin woke up mad– again. That had been a regular occurrence for the last year. And for the last month, he’d been convinced you were cheating on him. With zero evidence aside from a “hunch” he was apparently going on, there was no amount of convincing or location sharing or reminding him that your job came with sporadic hours that would change his mind. And things were getting worse. Each day it felt like he was angrier– more out of control. And each day you told yourself that you could handle it. You were literally trained on how to de-escalate murderers, for God’s sake. But this morning, when you woke up to not one, but four flat tires on the car you parked in the garage, you knew things were escalating again.
As the elevator climbed, your phone suddenly pinged in your pocket. You pulled it out to read the text back from your mother. You’d reached out to her earlier, letting her know what you’d suspected– that Justin had slashed your tires so that you couldn’t take your own car to work.
Mom: He wouldn’t do that. I know you are going through a rough patch, but Justin’s a good man. Did you reach out to that couple’s therapist I told you about?
You let out a sigh.
Typical.
Justin had worked at the local hospital with your father before he retired. As a world-wide renowned cardiovascular surgeon with a strong handshake and charismatic demeanor, he could do no wrong in your parent’s eyes.
In the few instances you actually had reached out to them for support in the last year, the burden always fell back on you. What had you done to piss him off? What were you doing to mitigate the situation? You should have learned by now not to reach out to either one of them. You wouldn’t get the response you wanted.
The elevator slowly climbed and you knew you had to pull it together. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You reached the fifth floor and stepped out of the elevator, trying to forget about everything that had just happened.
Within an hour, a new case rolled in. You sat around the round table and listened to Emily give the rundown while Garcia clicked through slides of gruesome crime scenes she blatantly refused to even glimpse at . You tried to pay attention– to compartmentalize your home life like you had always been so good at doing. But as soon as you heard that the case was in Idaho– across the country, worry began creeping back inside of you. One of the biggest problems that Justin had was your constant travel for work. Although he was allowed to put in consistent, 16-hour days at the hospital, he got upset every time you told him where your next case was.
Which, honestly, you understood. When you took the job with the BAU, you never expected to have much of a life outside of it. You were gone more than you were home, and you knew that sort of lifestyle wasn’t for everyone. Except when you met him, Justin had known what you did for work. You didn’t lie or keep it a secret. He said he was okay with the traveling and the long hours. Until he wasn’t.
Suddenly, there was a gentle tap on your shoulder. Every thought racing through your mind blew away and you refocused on the present moment.
“Everything okay?” It was Luke asking.
You looked around to realize that everyone else was packing up their belongings to board the jet. Turning to face Luke, you nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Just daydreaming, I guess.”
“Daydreaming with those crime scenes in the background?” he asked, nodding towards the gruesome picture still up on the screen. “You’ll have to teach me how to do that.”
You let out a breath of laughter. Luke hadn’t been on the team for long, but you realized within a few weeks of knowing him that he always knew how to make people laugh– no matter what was going on in the world around you. That was one of the many reasons he fit in so effortlessly with the team.
“We can do a mindfulness class sometime,” you joked.
He smiled, dimples popping from his dark, smooth skin. “I’d attend consistently.”
Something fluttered in your stomach.
You just chalked it up to stress and nerves.
…
Luke was supposed to be reviewing the case on the flight. Instead, he couldn��t stop watching you. Out of all the open seats, you chose one right across from him. You had the file open on your lap while your eyes scanned the page. Luke could tell you weren’t reading either, though, because the jet had already been airborne for almost half an hour and you hadn’t flipped the page.
Meanwhile, Reid, who was to Luke’s right, had already read the entire file, front to back, probably three times by now.
“Can you give me the Sparknotes version?” Luke leaned over and asked him.
“What’s Sparknotes?” Reid asked, no hint of humor in his voice.
Luke’s jaw fell open. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?”
“I don’t really think that intelligence can be measured or quantified in the way humans have tried to in the past. Technically I have an eidetic memory, which allows me to recall information with accurate precision. Meaning I’d actually have to see the information once to be able to recall it. I’ve never seen a Sparknote… or whatever you called it.”
A smirk spread across your lips, your eyes darting up to meet Luke’s.
Luke shook his head in disbelief, offering you a small smile before turning back to Spencer. He’d been with the team nearly a year now and he still hadn’t gotten used to Reid’s demeanor. He wondered if he ever would.
“You never had to Google the summary of a book when you were younger?”
Reid gave Luke a perplexed look. “Why would I do that if I have the book in front of me?”
“Because it’s faster.”
“I can read–”
“20 thousand words a minute,” Rossi interrupted as he walked by with an empty cup of coffee. “Yeah, we know, kid.”
He placed a free hand on Luke’s shoulder, patting it gently. “I have no idea what prompted this conversation, but trust me when I say it’s not worth it.”
Luke heard you stifle a laugh as Rossi walked past.
…
You’d been on edge the entire plane ride. Justin never responded to your message, letting him know you’d be away for at least the next couple of days on a case. Maybe he was in the OR today, or maybe the hospital’s cell service was just spotty.
Or maybe he really was just that mad at you.
You knew the way he treated you was wrong. You recognized the red flags that had been staring you right in the face. But slashing your tires? Maybe your mom was right– maybe there was another explanation. Because no matter how much he yelled, or got in your face, or tried to intimidate you, you really didn’t think there was any way he could do that.
You hated being this distracted while you worked. Emily was having to repeat instructions for you, JJ was throwing you worried glances, Spencer had asked three times now if you were okay… It was like you were the one being profiled in Idaho.
Of course that wasn’t really the case, though. You were in Sun Valley because of a string of murdered women, each left dumped and discarded in ditches off the parkway. Each with ligature markings around their necks. Each with evidence of sexual assault. And each deserving of your undivided attention.
You tried your best to give it to them. But in reality, when the case finally wrapped up six days after you’d arrived, you knew that everyone had picked up your slack.
And while you were grateful to be part of a team that could pick up the slack of others, you hated that you had to utilize it.
‘Unbelievable.’
That had been the only message you received from Justin the entire week you were away. You sent a practical novel back– trying to apologize and explain your side. Then you tried calling at least twice a day. But each time you went straight to his voicemail. Normally, space wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Except the jet was about to land back at Quantico, and you were terrified of what was next.
Not to mention you had no ride home.
“Hey,” a soothing voice suddenly said, stirring you from your thoughts.
When you glanced up, you saw Luke gesturing towards the open seat across from you.
“You mind? Everyone else is asleep.”
For a moment, you looked around the jet and noticed that Luke was right. Practically everyone was sprawled out or curled up against a window, passed out. You couldn’t blame them. It had been a rough case. If circumstances were different and you weren’t currently overthinking everything in your life, you’d probably be passed out too.
Eventually you turned back to Luke and nodded. “You couldn't sleep?” You asked him.
He shook his head. “Nah. I never sleep on planes. I think it’s a control-thing. I can never calm myself down enough to actually sleep.”
You frowned. “Now that you say that, I’ve never actually seen you sleep on the jet.”
“And you probably never will.”
You grinned back. “Does that mean I’ll never get to know if Luke Alvez snores?”
“I’m afraid that information is classified,” he smirked.
“Such a tease.”
Luke let out a low chuckle before casually leaning forward in his seat. “I did want to see if everything was okay, though.”
“What do you mean?” You asked, probably sounding too defensive.
He shrugged. “I mean you just didn’t seem yourself this week. Not in a bad way or anything– just off.”
Shit. You knew it had been noticeable. But even still, the small part of you that was hoping it wasn’t deflated at Luke’s words. You actually debated telling him everything, which was so out of the norm for you lately. Ever since you and Justin had been having problems, you’d turned into a shell of who you used to be– you never hung out with Penn, Emily, or JJ anymore. You never had time for getting your ass kicked at chess on the jet with Reid, because you were too busy worrying if Justin was mad at you for leaving. You never joined everyone at Rossi’s evening dinners because you felt guilty for spending nights that you were home away from the house and Justin would never go with you.
Suddenly, the harsh reality slapped you right in the face: You didn’t like who you were becoming. You didn’t like who you were when you were with Justin. The thought made you want to curl up and hide from the world– from Luke. But there was something about the way he looked at you– so earnest and intentional, like he was hanging onto every word, like he actually wanted to be someone you could trust, that felt prevented you from doing so.
“You’re chewing on your lip,” Luke pointed out. “That’s how I always know when you’re overthinking.”
You relaxed your jaw instantly. That’s how he always knew? How often was Luke paying attention to your moods and mannerisms? The thought made something flutter in your stomach, but not in the anxious way it had been fluttering recently. This was softer– less scary.
“Stupid profilers,” you muttered under your breath, desperate to break through whatever tension was boiling between the two of you.
It was enough to earn a chuckle from Luke. “We are pretty annoying, aren’t we?” He sat back in his chair, cracking his knuckles casually. “You know, my last two girlfriends have broken up with me because of this job. One was serious– the last one, not so much. But still. They said it was too demanding– that I couldn’t make them a priority. I don’t know if you remember the Orlando case last fall. The one with–”
“The fourteen year old boy. We were too late to save him, but we got his sister,” you finished for him. “I remember.” Not only did you remember, but that very same case had been burned into your brain for months.
Luke nodded. “Yeah. Well, when we got back from that case, that’s when she broke up with me. She said she was trying to deal with me being gone all the time. But if I couldn’t even be present when I was home, she was done. God, I had nightmares about that case for weeks– still do sometimes.”
You gazed at him sympathetically. Unfortunately, his story wasn’t that out of the norm. Aside from you, everyone on the team in a relationship was already married. Once you had a solid, established relationship, most times it was doable. But the reality was, it was hard to date someone and be part of the BAU.
“I’m sorry,” you said softly.
“Don’t be,” he waved you off. “They were right. I put my job first. And I’d like to think that the person I’m supposed to be with would understand how important this work is to me, even if each case takes a little piece from me.”
You thought about Justin– always criticizing, always making comments and remarks about how much you worked. You thought about the last few weeks and all the late nights you’d sat and done unnecessary paper at your desk just to avoid going home to him.
“Or maybe you’d actually want to make the person you’re supposed to be with the priority,” you suggested softly without meeting Luke’s gaze.
Luke had just been so vulnerable with you– telling you about his relationship problems like you were someone he could confide in. And the scary part was, you liked it. You liked being someone he came to with these types of things. You wished he’d do it more.
Justin never confided in you– never let you confide in him, either. You stared intently down at your lap and wondered what it would feel like to have someone who would.
“Justin and I– we’re having some issues.”
Finally, you dared to look up at Luke. His brown eyes looked black in the dimly lit jet, but they still glistened as he listened. “He’s just so mad at me,” you whispered, voice faltering. You’d barely said anything, but you could already feel all of the emotions you’d been masking and forcing down start to bubble towards the surface. “All the time. And I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I want to do anything about it.”
Luke leaned forward again, his elbows resting on his knees while he wound his fingers together. “I heard him when he dropped you off in the garage the other day,” Luke said honestly. Instantly, you felt heat rise to your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I swear, I was just waiting in my car because I was early and well–”
You took a shaky breath, embarrassed beyond belief. “Anyone in the vicinity would have heard him that day.”
Luke’s voice lowered. “Does he always talk to you like that?”
Yes, you thought.
“No. That was just a bad morning.”
Luke nodded, but pursed his lips like he didn’t quite believe you. “I know it isn’t my place, but you don’t deserve that. I mean, fuck, no one does. But especially you.”
You smiled softly, trying to believe that he was right– that you didn’t deserve Justin’s harsh comments or anger. And on some level, you knew you didn’t. But another part of you always wondered why you didn’t try harder– why you didn’t care if he ended things or not.
“Thanks Luke.”
He nodded, leaning back once again. You gazed out the jet window, seeing familiar city lights in the distance. You’d be landing soon. And then it was back to whatever grim reality faced you at home.
“You don’t have your car today, do you?” Luke asked suddenly, stirring you from your thoughts.
You shook your head. “Uh no. When I went to leave for work, my tires were flat.”
“All of them?” he asked, sounding shocked.
“All of them.”
“What’d you do, park in a pile of glass?”
“No, I think they were slashed.”
Luke’s eyes widened, a wave of concern washing over his face. “You don’t think–”
“I have no proof,” you said, knowing instantly what Luke was implying before he even said it. “But yes.”
“Jesus–”
You took a slow, steadying breath, doing your best not to fall apart in front of Luke.
“I think your place is on my way home,” Luke said after a moment. “I can give you a ride.”
You looked up, instantly ready to decline the generous offer. Luke was good– too good. And you didn’t want to ruin whatever type of friendship was blossoming between you by being too needy right from the start.
“Don’t even try to say no,” he spoke first. “Please let me give you a ride.”
By habit, you chewed on your lower lip.
“Don’t overthink it,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t have offered if it was going to be an inconvenience.”
You felt guilty– you really couldn’t help it, and you weren’t used to accepting help from others. But something about Luke’s tone was so earnest, you believed him. He wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t expect you to say yes. After a moment, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” your head hung, gaze falling to your lap. “Thank you.”
The two of you spent the final minutes of the jet ride sitting quietly, gazes fixated out the window as the pilot landed you safely back in Quantico. When the lights flickered on, your other team members stirred in their seats with exhausted sighs and groans. You grabbed your go bag and followed closely behind Luke as he stepped off the plane.
“Need anything inside?” he asked.
You shook your head. “No, I’m good.”
With that, he adjusted the bag on his shoulder and veered towards the parking garage with you just strides behind him.
Luke made small talk on the ride home. It was like he knew how nervous you were to see Justin and was trying to lighten the mood. You mostly just smiled and nodded in response, and felt grateful when Luke didn’t pressure you or point this out. Only when you got close enough to offer him instructions to your house did you actually utter any words.
Then, before you knew it, Luke was putting his truck in park on the street near your house. You swallowed thickly as soon as you saw Justin’s car in the driveway and a single light still on in the house.
The harsh reality was that you had no idea what to expect when you walked through those doors. But here… now… sitting in this truck with Luke, you felt safe. It was hard to leave that.
But of course you had to. Luke couldn’t wait here all night.
“Thanks for the ride,” you said softly, trying to conceal how shaky your voice sounded.
“I don’t mean to overstep,” he said quickly. “But… I just– I mean, I don’t feel good about leaving you here.”
You shook your head quickly. Again, not wanting to feel like a burden. “I’m fine. It’ll be fine. He can be controlling and he gets angry– but he’d never hurt me or anything.”
Luke nodded, although the furrow in his brow told you he didn’t quite believe you.
“You have my number. Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”
You weren’t used to this kind of generosity. But before you could overthink things, you nodded earnestly, believing that you would actually call him if it came to that. If nothing else, Luke had proven how trustworthy he was in the last few hours alone.
“Alright,” he nodded carefully as you slid out of the front seat of his truck, feet colliding with the pavement.
“Thanks again,” you did your best to muster up a genuine smile.
The corner of his lip tugged up slightly, but concern was still plastered over his face. “See you on Monday then.”
“Monday,” you agreed.
With that, you closed the door– putting a literal wall between you and the only person who had made you feel safe in the last week.
You turned towards your house, the knots in your stomach tightening with each passing moment. When you reached the front door, you turned one last time to see Luke leaned forward, eyes trained on you. Your chest softened when you realized he was waiting for you to get inside safely before driving off. Offering him one, final wave, you turned to unlock the front door.
When you first stepped inside your house– everything looked normal. The light above the stove was on and the fridge hummed softly. You placed your duffel bag on the floor and stepped into the kitchen for some water. As you filled up a glass, you began to wonder if maybe you’d overreacted. Maybe Justin had been busy with work this week– just like you’d been.
But your wishful thinking was short lived.
Because the second you turned away from the faucet, you nearly jumped out of your skin at the sight of Justin– standing on the other side of the island counter. You hadn’t even heard him approach you.
“Jesus, Justin–” you gasped, setting your glass of water down on the counter. “You scared me.”
Instead of replying, his eyes just narrowed. He looked angry– angrier than you’d ever seen him. An eerie chill crept down your spine, sending an eruption of goosebumps across your skin.
“Where were you?” he asked, voice menacing and icy.
“I told you– there was a case–”
His hands slammed down on the counter, causing you to take a step back as you jumped.
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I’m not lying–” you said quickly, trying to keep your own voice even. You knew how important it would be to remain calm.
But despite your efforts, Justin swiped his hand across the counter, sending your cup of water colliding into the wall, where it shattered.
You winced, unable to completely contain your shock. Because despite the yelling and the screaming, Justin had never done that before. Something inside of you told you that you had to leave… now– but you couldn’t react in time. Because before you could even turn your body to head towards the door, he was already turning the corner around the island, eliminating the only barrier between you and his violent outburst.
“Where are you going, huh?” he challenged. “Gonna take off again?”
“I was at work, Justin– I told you that.”
He took another step closer to you, sending you a step backwards. Like a choreographed dance, you alternated steps until you heard the crunch of glass beneath your shoes. You’d reached the wall. You were cornered.
Panic flooded through you. And suddenly, logic went out the window. You couldn’t think rationally– you couldn’t problem solve. Everything just went blank.
“Who brought you home tonight, hm?”
He was close enough that you could smell the alcohol melting off his breath. You lowered your head, trying to appear as submissive as you could– because what the hell else were you supposed to do?
“I saw the truck– the white one? Who the fuck was that?”
“Just someone from work,” you answered quickly.
“Just someone from work, huh?” He took another step forward. There was practically no space between the two of you now. “Look at me when you talk.”
You were trembling so hard, you couldn’t follow his commands as fast as he wanted.
“I said–” he snapped harshly. Instantly, you felt fingers wrapping around your throat, forcing your head up. Justin’s hand squeezed, cutting air off. “Look at me when you talk.”
His grip tightened. “Go ahead– say it. Tell me where you were.”
You opened your mouth, but you couldn’t even get air in your lungs, let alone formulate words.
Justin’s eyebrow raised. For a moment, he actually looked like he was enjoying this.
“No?” he asked. “Nothing? Are you finally done lying to me?”
You tried to inhale– but when nothing came, more panic settled in your stomach. You squirmed, needing air fast. Your hands raised to grab his forearm, desperate for him to let go. You tried to breathe again– but when air still didn’t come, you dug your nails into his skin without thinking– scratching him, hoping that would help. Except, you were so panicked, you had no concept of how hard you actually scratched him. Your nails broke through the skin– causing him to release your throat.
“You bitch,” he hissed. Before you could even take a breath, you felt something collide with the side of your face, sending your head whipping to the side.
Your head hung for a moment while your brain tried to comprehend what was happening.
Justin had hit you– and there was currently something warm dripping down the side of your head. As you were hunched over, you felt something then collide with your stomach– hard. His knee maybe? You couldn’t tell–
“You let some man drive you home to my house!” he yelled, hand closing around your throat again. This time, he launched you backwards, whipping your head into the wall forcefully. “And then you come in and you fucking lie about it?”
You grasped at his wrist– not scratching, but trying to get him to loosen his grip. You couldn’t breathe– no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t breathe.
“Please,” you tried to say, but all that came out was a gasp.
You attempted to look at him– hoping he could see how sincere you were being. But when you gazed up, your stomach just dropped. His eyes were menacing– black, empty. He looked like he could kill you right here and now and not care in the slightest.
Justin’s grip tightened, you could feel each individual finger as it dug deeper into your skin, cutting off your airway– crushing your windpipe.
You were going to die– You were going to die and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
You dug your nails into his skin again, you flailed– you slapped with what energy you had left. But nothing was working. Your vision was blurring– dark edges starting to create a tunnel around the world. He was too strong– and you were going to die.
Until suddenly, with no warning, Justin’s grip loosened.
Instantly, you slid to the floor– coughing and choking as you gasped for air.
You waited for whatever would come next– a kick to the ribs, something clattering over your head. But instead, you heard his footsteps retreating.
You willed yourself to look up– through foggy vision clouded by tears, you saw Justin backing out of the kitchen, his eyes wide.
“I-I–” he stammered. “I didn’t–” For a moment he paused, like he was frozen in place, before shaking his head.
You were too focused on trying to breathe regularly again to make sense of the look of remorse seemingly on his face before he darted out of the room.
Although he was out of your sight, you knew Justin couldn’t be far. And you knew that, despite the fact that you were sputtering and could barely breathe, you had to get out of that house. With what little strength you had left, you pushed yourself off the floor. Your back throbbed from being thrown against the wall, while a wave of dizziness overcame you. You all but staggered to where you’d dropped your bag earlier, doing a quick scan of the room before grabbing the strap and hauling it over your shoulder.
You hurried to the front door, hand on the knob, when you paused.
Where the hell were you supposed to go?
And then Luke’s words from earlier flashed through your mind.
Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.
You couldn’t– you thought. You’d already asked him for so much. But he did make you promise. And honestly, you couldn’t think of anyone in the world aside from him that you’d talk to about what had just happened.
Suddenly, you heard movement from upstairs.
You didn’t have time to toggle back and forth. You had to make a decision.
Before you could second guess anything, you grabbed your phone from your pocket, pulled up Luke’s contact info, and hurried out the door.
…
The second your name flashed across his screen, Luke knew he shouldn’t have left. Granted, he was only four minutes down the road– but he wished he had listened to his gut and just stayed.
He slid his thumb across the screen. “Hello?”
He was met by an eerie silence.
“Hello?” he repeated.
“Luke–” Your voice sounds so small– so choked up. “I’m sorry– I–”
He waited a moment, hanging on to each word you spoke like it was a prayer.
“Could you– maybe… could you come back? I’m so sorry– I–”
Luke was already turning his truck around before you could finish your choppy sentence.
“I’m on my way,” he assured you. “Stay right there, okay?”
He was pretty sure he heard you agree before the line went dead. But regardless, Luke was back at your house in an instant. The second he put his truck in park, he was already undoing his seatbelt and launching himself out of the car.
He had no idea what he was walking into– all he knew was that he had to get you out of there. What the hell could this asshole have said to you to have you so shaken up over the phone?
He imagined knocking on the door– finding you tear streaked and trembling. It made his insides roar with anger before even seeing you.
Except, when Luke turned the corner of his truck. He didn’t have to reach the front door to see you. He didn’t even have to walk across your lawn. Instead, you were hunched over on the curb, face buried in your hands while your whole body shook.
Luke’s shoulders fell– your name tumbling from his lips as he approached you.
He had prepared for trembling– he had prepared for crying. But what he wasn’t prepared for, was seeing your face, bloodied and bruised when you looked up at him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, everything inside of him turning to ice at the sight.
“Where is he?” Luke managed to choke out. His voice sounded muffled and distant in his own ears.
You let out a shaky breath before attempting to smile– like you were trying to somehow convince him that you were okay. The cut on your lip stretched as you did, making you wince. “Inside,” you whispered.
He nodded once. As much as he didn’t want to leave you out here alone, Luke couldn’t help himself.
“I’ll kill him,” he said through gritted teeth. And just like that, he was off– taking long strides towards the front door. He had no idea what your house looked like– no idea where he’d find that asshole lurking. All Luke knew was that he was going to pay for what he did to you.
He had tunnel vision– the only thing in front of him was a blind, rageful desire to hurt that piece of shit as much as he had hurt you. He was narrowing in on the front door– just a few steps away… until he heard something break through the fog.
It was you– your voice so soft and broken, calling out to him desperately. He turned around, blinders widening to see you standing on the lawn, chest heaving and tears falling down your cheeks quickly.
“Please Luke–” you begged. “Please don’t. I want to leave. Please, can we leave?”
He paused, but only for a second before all of his anger melted away in an instant.
He nodded, knowing right there– in that moment, that he would do absolutely anything for you at the drop of a hat. In a few quick steps, he was back at your side, hand hovering near your lower back just in case you needed extra support.
“We can go,” he said gently, purposely keeping his voice as calm as he could. “Let’s get you in the truck.”
After only a couple of steps, Luke noticed that you were limping. He felt a wave of tears burning behind his eyes. He was frustrated– angry. With your boyfriend, but mostly with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have left. He knew it in his gut. He should have been there– maybe if he’d stayed, he would’ve heard the yelling– he could’ve stepped in before things got this bad.
“Can you get up, okay?” he asked as he opened the passenger door for you.
You nodded, reaching up for the handle bar. He watched as you winced– just the extension of your torso causing your breathing to increase.
“You’re alright,” he said. “Let me help.”
He made sure to wait for you to nod before he placed his hand against your lower back. Ever so gently, he supported your weight so that you could hoist yourself up into the front seat.
“There you go,” he said, once you were safely tucked inside. He closed the door and turned to head to the driver’s side. Just as he did, he caught a flash of movement from the direction of your house. When he looked, he saw Justin standing on the front porch. Even from the road, Luke could see the tears glistening in his eyes.
He felt the familiar anger from earlier resurfacing inside of him. It tightened in his chest– burned in his stomach. He envisioned himself crossing the lawn– grabbing Justin by the shirt collar– launching his fist right into his jaw.
Luke inhaled deeply before looking back towards you. You were staring at him, crying again, your face riddled with fear. Because you knew exactly what he was imagining, and it made you afraid.
Luke’s insides softened.
No.
He would not just be another man who scared you tonight. Luke wanted to be someone you felt safe with.
Without looking back, he hurried along the front of his hood and climbed into his side of the truck. He put the truck in drive and calmly accelerated down the road– away from everything that had ever hurt you.
…
It was only when you were in the safe confinement of Luke’s truck that you realized how bad you were shaking.
The further you got from the house, the more the events from that evening sank into your brain. You’d seen this before with victims– once their adrenaline calmed down and they actually realized they were safe, fight or flight wasn’t protecting them anymore.
There was so much you wanted to say to Luke. But you could barely muster up the strength to breathe, let alone explain yourself.
But you knew that you had to say something. You inhaled shakily and picked at the loose hangnail on your thumb. “Luke, I’m so sorry,” you said, breaking through the thick silence.
He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white from how hard he was holding on. He hadn’t said a word since you’d been on the road and you found yourself wondering what was going through his mind. Was he angry? Annoyed? Frustrated?
Luke grimaced. “Please don’t apologize,” he said softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
You bit your lip to keep any tears from spilling out– you’d cried enough in front of Luke for one day. “I just meant that I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”
“You didn’t drag me into anything.”
Something in his tone just seemed so off– so curt. You desperately needed to make this right.
“Is there a hotel or something on the way to your place? You don’t have to go out of your way– you can just drop me off, I don’t want to inconvenience you–”
Luke hit the breaks, his truck coming to a stop as he pulled over on the side of the road. After shifting the gear, he turned in his seat to look at you.
“I’m not inconvenienced by you. And I’m not dropping you off at a hotel. You’re coming to my place, and I’m going to clean up your cuts, and then I’m going to make you dinner.”
“Luke–” you started to protest but he shook his head.
“Please,” he said, voice cracking. “Please, let me do this– Otherwise… otherwise I won’t be able to forgive myself.”
Your brows furrowed. “Forgive yourself? What are you talking about?”
Luke shook his head, his dark mop of curls unruly after the long day. Slowly, he lifted his head and gazed out of the windshield, like he was deep in thought.
“I knew something was wrong– I mean, I heard the way he spoke to you in the garage. After you told me he slashed your tires… I just knew. I knew something bad would happen when I dropped you off, but I tried to convince myself I was just being dramatic– or paranoid. But I knew– and I didn’t listen. I left you, and you got hurt. So please, let me make you dinner and give you a safe place to be tonight. It’s the least I can do.”
Your mouth hung open– whatever you thought was going on in Luke’s mind, it wasn’t that. Before you could think twice, you leaned forward in your seat and gathered his hand in yours. His warm skin touched yours– sending shockwaves through your entire body.
“None of this was your fault,” you assured him. “In fact, you've shown me more kindness in the last few hours than I think Justin has shown me in the last year. I’m so grateful it was you who came and got me tonight, Luke.”
The words came out so easily– probably because of how true they were.
His gaze flickered towards yours– eyes glistening with unshed tears. He spun his hand, so that your palms pressed against each other, before lacing your fingers together and squeezing gently.
“You know I’ll never let him hurt you again, right?” he asked.
His words sent chills down your spine. You did know, but you weren't sure if you were ready to admit that or not. So instead, you changed the subject.
"Are we almost to your house?"
Luke shrugged. "Not really- I'm closer to Stafford, probably thirty five minutes."
You frowned. "Stafford? That's the opposite direction. I thought you said my place was on your way home."
A smirk crept across Luke's face. "That might've been a tiny lie."
"Luke!" you exclaimed.
He let out a laugh. "What? I knew you wouldn't have gotten in the car otherwise. Am I wrong?"
You let out a huff of air, hating the fact that he was right.
As he put the truck in drive and continued down the road, you squeezed his hand back.
#luke alvez imagine#luke alvez#luke alvez fic#luke alvez fanfic#luke alvez x reader#luke alvez x reader fic#luke alvez x reader imagine#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#luke alvez angst#luke alvez x reader fanfic#criminal minds x reader imagine
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change your life ✨️
feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3
- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead
- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry
- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air
- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.
- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰
- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise
- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.
- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^
- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.
- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.
#aesthetic#clean girl#motivation#vanilla girl#photo collection#routine#self care aesthetic#self healing#self improvement#self impowerment#self love#peachy days#that girl
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So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life.
I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.
So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.
Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read.
This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.
I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.
(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut:
• The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader
Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. He’s hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.
• BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem
Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, it’s an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.
• Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader
This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.
• Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader
Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.
• He knows - @almostempty
Lucien x f!reader
The way it’s written it’s out of this world, I loved it so much♥️
• Self esteem series - @almostempty
She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because there’s nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but I’m still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)
• Paris, Texas - @almostempty
Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña
*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.
• Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peña x f!reader
The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.
• Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña
I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and she’s an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.
• Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
It’s so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 🥹 And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and I’m so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me it’s because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.
• Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York
I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And she’s another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.
• Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.
• Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
You have to know something about Adriana, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, just a beautiful soul. I’m still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, it’s so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end 🥲
• Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top ♥️ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joel’s love.
• Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.
• Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader
I thought about that for days after reading it and it’s still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.
• Pink - @netherfeildren
Joel Miller x f!reader
One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.
• Touch Tank - @thundermartini
Javier Peña x f!reader
So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt ♥️
• Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini
Javier Peña x f!reader
It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.
• Trēs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus
This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 🤣 Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month 🥹
Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert… it’s this series.
• Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x f!reader
So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.
• Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and I’m also honored that she sent me her draft to read 🥹 She’s the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazing♥️
• ma’am - @mssalo
Joel Miller x f!reader
Another sub!Joel I won’t forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. I’m so weak for sub!Joel it’s honestly ridiculous.
• So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller
It features two of my fav Pedro boys and it’s honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.
• Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime
Joel Miller x f!reader
Typical DBF!Joel? No, it’s not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol
• To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito
Joel Miller x f!reader
I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.
• Wherever you stray, I’ll follow - @cavillscurls
Joel Miller x f!reader
I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.
• Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity
Joel Miller x f!reader
I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, it’s carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.
• In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller
First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.
• How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes
Joel Miller x f!reader
Honestly so good. Wow.
• each man mad’s desire - @pascalispretty
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
This is so beautiful, it’s like a poem, I still have no words.
• The Real Deal - @strang3lov3
Frankie Morales x f!reader
Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.
• Bedridden - @strang3lov3
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m still laughing, it’s so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.
• Doctor’s pet - @evolnoomym
Dave York x f!reader
Oh this one. I mean I’m a secretary in a clinic, it’s clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.
• Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess
Joel Miller x f!reader
She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and I’m so curious to see how it unfolds.
• Smooth operator - @penascigarette
Joel Miller x f!reader
Joel calls a sex line and OMG. They’re softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.
Happy reading ♥️
#v recs#pedro pascal#joel miller#frankie morales#lucien flores#lucien de leon#javier peña#marcus acacius#lucius verus#dave york#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#ppcu#ppcu fics#ppcu fandom#fic recs#writers on tumblr
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I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.
This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.
So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.
That's a lot.
So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.
So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.
I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.
I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.
BUT
That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.
Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.
That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.
So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.
So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.
So...let me know...
#I wish I could keep writing it every week#but I need a break#a little refresh one could call it#it might do all of us some good
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Hey there!
Saw your requests were open (if it isnt,just ignore this)
But i just love your satoru x reader and co parenting megumi????and i would KILL to see like, something bad happening to reader (like a mission going wrong,she passing out or getting sick or all) and boys just panicking cause satoru loves reader,and megumi sees her as his mother???
Sorry,im a sucker for hurt/comfort trope
Lots of love!!! you're amazing!
aww this is so cute, thank you for the request anon <3 wrote it as sick fic instead of injury since i,,,, have written like 3 things with that trope recently so let's do a fluffy sick fic instead lol. hope you like it :))
cw/tags: established relationship (pet names babe, baby, sweetheart), gn!reader, some explicit language, mention of eating
"the kid thinks you're gonna die," your boyfriend says as he enters your room, setting a grocery bag on your desk and digging around for the bottle of orange juice. "you're starting to worry me too, honestly."
"i'm not gonna die, babe; i think it's just the flu," you groan, propping yourself on an elbow and attempting to sit up. you're unsuccessful, the throbbing in your head and the chills in your arms too overwhelming. you fall back against the pillow with a less-than-ceremonial thump. satoru crouches in front of you, eyebrows drawn and forehead wrinkled in concern. he pulls down his blindfold and you're met with the bright blue eyes you loved so much.
"yep. looks like you're dying soon," he declares with a curt nod and you scoff, a chuckle turning into an aggressive fit of coughing. satoru is lightning-quick, grabbing a new bottle of water and snapping off the cap before holding it up to your lips. "here, drink." you push his hands away, wordlessly insisting that you can drink on your own while still hacking relentlessly. "nuh-uh, just let me help you." with a frown, you let him tilt the bottle toward you and take a few careful sips. "you are frustratingly stubborn," he sighs.
"i have to be if i need to deal with you all the time," you joke hoarsely, sips of water becoming gulps.
"yeah, but you love me for it," he finishes and you agree with a shrug. "easy, there," he warns as you keep downing the water. "don't want you choking again."
"i'm fine, satoru."
"you've been working yourself too much, you know."
"hypocrite," you counter and he frowns, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. you were right, even though he didn't want to admit it. satoru was always the first one to say that someone was working too hard, just to take the burden for himself. it was a red flag, you said a few weeks ago over convenience store sushi; you also noted his 'concerningly inflated ego, lack of spatial awareness, and general disinterest in things that could be momentarily unpleasant.' you'd finished it, though, with a long-winded comment about how his red flags, in all their scarlet glory, made satoru himself. maybe it was just his melodrama, but he'd cut off his hand if it meant you were able to joke like that again.
"i'm serious. i think your body's shutting down because-"
"because i've been away too long, i know. i don't need a lecture right now, satoru." you swallow the last of the water and settle back onto your pillow, grumbling when you feel the side of your bed sink with your boyfriend's weight. "baby, you're gonna get sick, too."
"that means i get to take a day or two off," he points out, fitting his face into the divot between your shoulder and neck. despite your complaints, he throws off the comforter and replaces the blankets with his arms. "don't grrrr me, babe. you need to burn off your fever and i run warmer than any of these sheets."
"aren't i sweaty and stinky and yucky? how can you be touching me when i'm all gross?"
"you mean, how can i love on you right now when you're just being a human?"
"mhmm. you don't find it gross?"
"of course not, sweetheart," he reassures you with a kiss to your shoulder. "i'd be a real dickhead if i only loved you when you were feeling 100%."
"yeah, you're only half a dickhead for other reasons," you murmur into the pillowcase and he laughs, the sound reverberating against your back. before your eyes settle shut, you catch the door of your room opening and vaguely make out a messy head of black hair peeking around the corner. "megs?"
"oi, adults only," the other occupant of the bed threatens, pulling you closer and attempting to flip you to your other side to face him. you unbuckle satoru from around you, though, and manage to sit up. megumi pads carefully into the room, like you'd crumble into sand if his steps were too loud. "come in, i guess," your boyfriend says dramatically with a wave of his hand.
"satoru, i swear-"
"sorry, baby. shutting up." satoru flops back onto your bed and you reach out to megumi, who stares at your hand for a moment before rushing into your arms. "hey, megs. since you're here, you mind grabbing me a soda from the breakroom?"
"i thought you were shutting up, satoru," you remind him, voice poisonously sweet. he echoes your reminder in a mockingly high-pitched voice. "i'm gonna kick you out of my room if you don't stop, mister."
"you wouldn't dare," he gasps.
"oh, i would."
"yeah," he concedes. "you definitely would, but i love you for it." with satoru temporarily placated, you return your attention to the small child in your arms.
"you doing okay, megs?" he nods, eyes shut against your chest and holding you tight. "i'm not gonna die, buddy. i promise." you rub your hand up and down his back, combing your fingers through his hair when you're abruptly swung backward onto the bed. "jeez, satoru, what are you-"
"get the kid, it's nap time," he mumbles with finality, resecuring his body around yours and motioning for megumi to climb in. he does, and you drift off sandwiched between your boys, feeling a little lighter for the first time in days.
if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk fluff#ask iris!
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Hello! I'm a big fan of your work. I wanted to ask for advice / thoughts about an art problem I've been struggling with that you seem to have at least some sort of solution for?
So basically I'm an animator and digital artist (hobbyist), and I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for things to make. Only problem is that most of these ideas would take up to or longer than 2 months to make because, yknow, animation isn't quick, especially if you want to take your time to make it good. But with so many ideas that all take so long to complete, I often find myself tied and frozen as I can't decide what's most worthwhile to start first. I passionately want to complete all these projects, but my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control, and I've just been stuck for several months. You juggle a lot of projects- not all of them art, but it still seems applicable here. This is excluding other life responsibilities like work and stuff, I don't have problems with getting that stuff done. This is purely within my creative hobby.
If u can't say anything thats fine I'm just curious- You have a massive output with great quality. Thank you!
This is a very kind message, and one that humbles me a lot, because although I'd love to bestow upon you some sort of advice that might help, or give words of wisdom..............I feel like that would be fake of me because
I also suffer from this very same thing
That is to say, this part of your message:
my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control
It rings true for me too! I think it might ring true for many others as well.
There are stories in my head all the time. There are stories, and concepts, and IDEAS and they are all so shiny and new in the beginning, and then they slowly peter out and, since I frequently don't have time to do anything about them, they fade into the background.
I have enough trouble with this in terms of COMICS (also a lengthy medium, though less so than animation, which, OOF, you have my condolences, you are stronger than I) that I have started to just come to terms with the fact that some things are not meant to be.
Which is, I think, one of the small bits of advice I can give.
1. Some things may just be ideas, and that's okay.
I think one of the best ways that I've learned to deal with Idea-Death is making it count towards something in the future. That is to say, using them as compost.
In order for this to work, you have to actively put your ideas into the compost pin instead of the trash. That means maybe investing in either a notebook, or a sketchbook, OR just a discord server for yourself where you organize ideas and dump them all into a channel to scroll back through later.
It may seem useless at first, but honestly, it can be satisfying to PUT them somewhere instead of letting them fade away.
Plus, you may one day scroll through them and rediscover an idea at just the right time. OR you may be inspired to take parts of an old idea and repurpose it for a new idea that you DO have motivation for.
However, there's also this part, right?
I've just been stuck for several months
I.......feel this. Sometimes I, too, feel stuck for several months. There are times when even if I WANT to work on something, I just don't have the time. It takes too long to finish!
.........which is why I recommend the following:
2. Don't finish. Just start.
Now, this is the toughie. I can't exactly say that it would work for everyone. But I have learned that I am WAY more likely to return to a project and work on it again sometime in the future if I actually DO something for it the first time I get inspired.
I have SO MANY things that I have not published in my folders. I have sketches of gifs that are 10 frames long. I have concept art sketches boldly labeled with project names that will likely never get off the ground. I have Googledoc files with summary and plot outlines for stories I'll probably never write. I have discord channels with random ass concepts and a few sketches for characters.
And what I have found is that if I just WORK on these ideas when I feel like it, they are more likely to survive, even if they don't thrive right away.
I'm also a huge proponent of Procrastination Rotation.
That is to say, I have so many projects I COULD be working on, that if I ever feel frustrated or stuck on one thing, I just shift myself slightly to the left and do another thing instead. I almost never force myself to work through a block (save for a few money-motivated deadlines) just to complete a thing.
Stuck on a comic? I'll go write a few lines of fic. Unsatisfied with where the fic is going?
I'll go sketch out an illustration. Incapable of finishing an illustration?
I'll go google some references for another comic project and slap them all into an image file for later, so that I have SOMETHING in place for when I want to do studies.
And so on and so forth.
I have comic ideas, and comic sketches, and 30+ pages of original comics sketched. I don't know if they'll make it. It would take a lot of work.
But it also takes very little work - just a few extra pages sketched while I'm bored for an hour. Or a bit of lineart while I listen to a podcast. Or just a doodle somewhere which I snap a pic of and add to my discord channel for that project.
Will it work for everyone? Probably not. But I think that our creative culture is sometimes too attached to a linear production style. The truth is that art, or illustrations, or animation, or comics - none of it has to be on an assembly line. It can be tinkered with and put aside. And then, maybe, picked apart for scraps.........or maybe made into something new!
I don't know if that helps you at all, but I hope it at least helps someone.
And good luck with your animating!
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