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netherfeildren · 5 days ago

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Busy, Dying. Part 1;

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: In an in-between place called his life, Joel Miller is alone. In search of a cure. In need of a miracle. In want of God.

Can I interest you in a cure for loneliness? She'd asked him in a language without words. Taking it is the easy part. Letting her go is impossible.

-OR-

an a/b/o soulmates AU

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: No Outbreak AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Soulmates AU, Infidelity, Cheating, HEA!!!!!, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Mating Bites, Knotting, Heat Sex, Breeding Kink, Group Therapy, Social Experiments, Basically puppy training for unsocialized Alphas, And by God that man will be house trained by the time she’s done with him!, Complicated family dynamics, Discussions of self harm, Depression, Existential Angst, Author returns not with a whimper but with a KNOT, I wrote this in a very unserious state of mind beware

A/N: Gray November, I've been down since July - but we're so back, baby. I’ve missed this so bad. I’ve missed you all, I won’t drone on and on. I hope you enjoy, and please talk to me in the comments. Update me on what I’ve missed, let me know how you’ve been and what’s happening in your life.

A great heartfelt thank you to all of my wonderful friends who so supportively cheered me on while I struggled to write this. Sincerely the best people I know.

Love you all madly.

Word Count: 6.5K

Read on AO3

Part 1;

The old linoleum tiles are the most peculiar shade of puce, and Joel has realized that there is someone sitting at the back of the room who smells… strange.

More brown than purple—an ugly color. There’s something about it that fascinates him.

The woman that is currently speaking tells of her husband; it’s the only tale she has to tell. She’s been doing it for weeks, and they all know it well by now. Older, omega, the woman, and at the latter and less comely stage of life. Most of them here can say the same. They usually give their names, those that get up to share—although it’s never a requirement when you attend, it is highly encouraged—the sharing, he means—but he never pays much mind to them—the names, that is. That’s not what he’s here for after all—to make friends. Although, he does see how that’d be the initial assumption.

Joel Miller is here for something more specific.

Six weeks he’s been showing up to these things now, and he’s yet to take a turn. He tells himself he’s working up to it.

What that specific thing is…he hasn’t quite figured out. He’s listening for it, though, and intently, even if he does skip over the names. It’s the details of what they’re telling that matter to him. The hows and intricate whys of what it is that brought them here today.

Her youth had been spent on a drunk, the woman is saying—her husband—and he’d been cruel to her in those days when there was still currency to spend in the form of her vitality. Joel nods at the puce—yes, he thinks, that’s usually the way of it. But later, there’s more to the story she reminds her audience, he drank himself into a fit, and had never been right since. The cruelty had been taken away from the marriage after that, and she’d been put in charge.

“But I wonder,” she says, “If sometimes I don’t miss it, the way he’d been,” —if the reason she was here now, with all of the rest of them that were just like her in their own unique ways, was that she’d been left lonely after her cruel husband had been exchanged for a sick one.

Joel nods again and wonders what sort of face the woman wears as she confesses but doesn’t bother to check. No matter, he knows they’re the same. If not in designation, then in heart.

It’s easy, that thing, he does it too, to wish for the bad. To want to hold on to it, the thing that hurts. Addictive, even, in some cases. Missing it is easy.

It’s why he’s here.

And it’s what they promise you. In their flyers and pamphlets, when they stand on the corners of streets talking people up wearing that look in their eye and that slouch in their step, when they smell it on you—or in the lack there of—a mate or a purpose.

Welcome to our meeting. We’re here to find the cure for loneliness.

That’s what they promise you when you come here.

It’d been that word: loneliness, actually, that had caught him. L-O-N-E-liness. There was something attractive about it to him. Not a label but a state.

You see, it was like this: Joel had seen a therapist once, several years ago, against his will and at the behest of another, who’d said all the wrong things in all the wrong ways.

“You sound depressed, Joel,” the therapist had told him.

He’d worn horn rimmed glasses and had a shiny bald head he could see the reflection of the overhead lights in. And worse—the non-scent of a beta which told him they’d never understand each other in the ways Joel longed to be understood. He’d—not hated him, necessarily—but felt an immense apathy for the man; more so than the regular apathy he felt for most things in his life.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Very, very sad,” was the official diagnosis.

Joel hadn’t liked the sound of the word. The label. He did not like that a word so succinct could be ascribed to him and all that had happened to him in his life. There was no word for it. It just was.

But there was something different about a state of aloneness, which if attributed to himself, he could accept. He had been left alone, in ways. It was a tangible thing he could look around a room inside of himself and recognize.

They’re meetings, is what this place is—encounter groups this coalition offers where lonely demi humans can come to congregate, discuss their aloneness, what had led them to such a state; their lack of attachments, connections, mates—alpha, omega. Held in the basement of the Emmanuel Episcopal Church on Newbury street, right between his shop and house, although they never talk about religion which he likes because he doesn’t believe in religion.

God is still under review.

He wonders if the Catholics wouldn’t have them.

Sitting forward in his seat, the metal folding chair that always leaves his back aching something fierce, he presses his elbows into his knees to distract with alternative pressure. Focusing on his fingers woven together between his spread legs, he tries to pay attention to the man who’s stood up to speak now. Older than himself, late sixties, no children, no family, no nothin’; he’d run them all off.

But Joel is distracted.

The smell is stronger now. Stranger too. Something full bodied, but metallic like rust, astringent bleach, built in a way that forces saliva to pool heavy between his suddenly aching gums. A mask that sits atop something of a much different chemical architecture—that’s the strange part.

Or—no. The back of his neck itches, and Joel lifts a palm to cup his nape, quell the sting, feel the tender mark. No. The strange part is not the illusion of the smell. What it is, actually, is that he’s fairly certain what he’s smelling is someone else's blockers. Something which he’s positive he’s never consciously noticed on another person in the thirty plus years since he’d presented as an alpha.

He has, suddenly, the quite intense urge to peek over his shoulder, certain that he’ll be caught smelling things he has no business smelling. That there will be someone just there, breathing down the nape of his neck with accusation on their tongue—boo!

Silly. But he’d known today would not be a good day.

It’d started off wrong. The milk had gone sour overnight, the check engine light had come on in his truck, all his socks were suddenly mismatched with not a single pair to be found, and his usual route to work had been waylaid by some freak accident. A tree split in half, one side into a house, the other into the road. Not a sign of lightning in the sky all night long.

Perhaps he might be compelled to believe in God after all.

Joel does not like it when things are out of order or out of the ordinary. His life was organized in a way that never caused him strife or excess. And it was not that he was stuck in his ways, only that he enjoyed his routine and disliked when things were not as they should be. And this—whatever it is he’s smelling, whoever—is not as it should be.

The older gentleman, an Alpha too, is still speaking. He had a daughter, has, who no longer speaks to him. Won’t even take his money. He’d had a long career in government that’d filled him with greed and paranoia and a radical view of life that refused to align with the way young people saw the world now. Perhaps he’d tried to change at certain times, but he was old and set in his ways. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to change as badly as he should have when he still had the chance to. Happily stuck in the past. His wife had died, and his daughter had gone away from him. Too tired of his mediocrity as a father to give him another chance.

The man sounds like he feels sorry for himself. Like he thinks himself the victim, and this one, Joel does look up at. He looks old and worn down, heavy beer pouch and thinning hair and sagging jowls. A sad and lonely man. Joel wonders if that’s how he looks to the other people in this room, as well.

“No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good.” Joel blinks, looks at him more closely, tries very hard to find similarities between themselves. But no—not quite right, not the thing he’s looking for. Their plight is different. This man is not alone, he’s got his weakness to keep him company.

The one thing Joel had fought like hell to keep out of his repertoire of issues. He’d run from even the possibility of it as soon as she was dead, left Texas straight for the Northeast and from thereafter, everything he’d done, he’d done with a staunchness of character. If at the end of it, that staunchness was made up of apathy or numbness or dissociative fury, well, then at least he wasn’t still that man who’d been too weak to save his daughter.

That counted very much in Joel’s book.

An overabundance of cold numbness, little anger, everything a static haze—an abstinent winter. That was his whole life. But then, look at him now, he was here, wasn’t he? He’d taken that brochure handed to him on that last warm Tuesday weeks ago as he’d headed back to the shop from lunch.

Hello, sir. Could I interest you in a cure for loneliness? The young omega had said.

It’d started like anything—an experiment or a desperate ploy. The monotony had been steady going the past few years, getting older, colder. He’d grown hard and solitary around his wound, loneliness spread like a fungus, and he’d longed for any sort of change.

“A cure…how?” The terrible shrink had come to mind.

“Oh, nothing to fret over.” The young man had a nice smile, Joel remembers. Kind and straight toothed. Honest in the way that a stranger knocking on your door to sell you a Bible seems honest. “We call it an encounter group. People come, share, tell the tales of their designation and their lives. In the end, the result is different for different people. Some move on to a second step if they need more. Others find what they’re looking for just through the connection of sharing. But no matter the result, you’ll see, you’ll be cured. Promise.” He’d winked, smile deepening, giving him an appreciative once over at the end of his spiel. Joel had blinked back, surprised, confused, but curiosity peaked enough he’d obsessed over it for three short days before he’d found himself stepping into the molted incense smell of the belly of a church so dimly lit he was sure not even God peaked in this sad space any longer.

“It’s that easy?” Joel had asked, childlike in his throat-strangled hope.

“That easy.”

It seemed the smile had been honest enough to sell him the Bible.

The scent insists upon itself as the older gentleman finishes up, and Joel’s nose tickles with whatever it is it’s whispering at him. He wants to get up and walk out, run away, but suddenly his gut is tight and hot, and he isn’t sure he can actually stand up without disgracing himself in front of all these people. A wash of agonized heat moves through him, confused at what’s suddenly happening to his body.

“We have a newcomer today sharing for the first time,” Maria, the woman who leads the group, says at the front of the room. “Everyone give her a warm welcome, it’s her first day and already she’s brave enough to jump on up here.”

There’s the shuffling of bodies in their seats, a cleared throat, the man sitting behind Joel breathes so loudly he thinks he’s gotta have some sort of medical condition, the puce turns more hideous by the second, and his own heart is beating so hard in his ears the rush of blood is dizzying. He feels each thump of the thing against his breast bone in some sick imitation of a fist begging to be let out.

The new voice begins as nothing but a murmur.

An introduction—he misses the name. His breathing goes shallow, he’d tip over in his seat if he didn’t have both boots planted firmly against the puce. The voice gains strength and with it, Joel wishes he’d been paying attention from the start. He didn’t get to hear her name.

It’s a girl.

She’d run away from home in the spring of her sixteenth year to join the opera, she tells them. Had come upon the city in roaring spring and thought the rest of her life would be exactly like that, pure novelty in bloom, nothing like what she’d left behind. And was deeply disappointed when the reality was nothing such.

And Joel hears it, that disappointment in her voice at what she’d not been able to find after searching for it so religiously. This is what makes him look up at her. This, unlike all the others, he thinks he can relate to—just by the sound of her voice. The search for a thing lost which can never again be found. The fruitlessness of it all.

At that first vulnerable, terrified glance, she’s already staring at him, eyes catching like hooks.

He blinks once, twice—color—is sure he can hear the movement of his eyelashes passing through the air, the stick of his lids meeting—color—bright. This is it.

That wash of heat turns into a blaze, every single bead of sweat blooming on his brow is a tell evaporating into the ether. This is what he’d sensed from the start of the evening. Maybe even from the moment he’d seen that split maple.

“My mother always said I needed to be stronger, bolder, not so sensitive.” She looks away from him now. “I grew up in an angry house where you had to fight tooth and nail not to be overrun. Because of this, I left it at a very young age, and it was the greatest fight I could muster, abandoning that house of anger. I found myself something to bring me what I thought would be joy, a job and a city, and for a time, it was enough. But starting your lonely life so young…it’s hard.” After a pause of breath, “It’s been hard.”

“And it’s made me never want to have to—exert myself,” she says, searching for the right words, smiling when she finds them, and Joel has the urgency to smile back. “Now, I never want to have to be strong. I never want to have to try. I want to only be the way that I am. If that’s weak or sensitive or whatever it might be at any given moment, I don’t care. I don’t want to have to fight. I never want to be in an angry house again. I want someone who’ll see this in me and understand and never make me work for it, that they would give it to me willingly, easily, without me having to ask. Do you understand?” She looks about the room, and he hopes her eyes will land on him again, and even though they don’t, he feels she’s speaking directly to him. He nods, the hook of her temptation cast beneath his chin. “This is a fantasy. And it makes for a lonely existence. This idea of how I need it to be for it to be right—love.” She looks down at her hands folded atop the podium where they go to stand at the front of the group and share, and he wills her gaze to find him amidst the crowd again. “It’s so difficult. And this might seem very bad to you, weak willed, but it’s not. It’s only very honest. Which can never be a bad way to be.” That’s why she’s here, she tells them.

Finally, she looks back at him, and it’s that loneliness of two people amidst a crowd, facing one another, knowing themselves mirrored against the other and yet still disparate. There’s something indecent about the way she looks at him in front of all these people, the way he, in turn, looks back. A little bit like finding your own face on a stranger's body in a crowded room. Color rises to his face, and she gives him that same elusive smile from before.

He’s the one to look away this time.

As the crowd disperses for coffee and pastries after the last of the speakers, he searches for her. He needs to ask her name, feels as if he’s some blighted creature without it, swears he’ll never forgo attention during a meeting again if he can fish it out of her.

He finds her at the dessert table, Maria at her side and a hand at her shoulder. Something of a thank you is being imparted between the two women. The girl is saying she’s grateful for the welcome, grateful that they’d found each other.

Joel has things to be grateful to Maria for, too. His brother, mainly. It’d been pure chance that Joel had met her here, that she knew Tommy also. She’d met his brother on a summer trek to Wyoming where they’d become friends and had kept in touch afterwards. The woman has a thing about her that ingratiates people by sheer force of will. Perhaps it’s that she’s an alpha, too. Perhaps it’s just the charisma and wide smile. The fact that she has a countenance that takes no shit from anyone, that makes demands of a person whether they’ve got any give or not. But whatever the case, they’d realize their connection through Tommy, and she kept Joel updated on his brother whom he’d not spoken with in many years.

Watching the two women stand together and share that easy thanks that Joel so urgently owes, and yet which he cannot voice, he feels, suddenly, so angry. So awkward. So humiliatingly inexperienced. So unable to grapple with the pain of human contact, the fascination of it, the humiliating necessity.

That decade old anchor weighing him in place and the guilt of even thinking of it as such.

I feel decrepitly alone and odd, he thinks. And how strange, no? He was a normal man. He has a normal job. He lives in a normal house. Unexceptional in every sense. Everything in his life had been ordinary up until that one great tragedy. And then, as if none of the before had ever existed, it was as if everything afterwards was one great landslide of wrongness. The filth of it slinging mud all over his life so that nothing had ever been right after her.

So that now he cannot even approach this girl whose name he needs to know, and Maria, to whom he owes the last surviving connection to his brother.

As Maria turns to go, she gives him an encouraging nod, sending him into an agony of shyness. She’d sensed him hovering.

The girl remains at the dessert table, perusing the pastries. He can see her fingertips dancing over the golden, sugared confections, before she settles on a plain, glazed donut. He watches the bend of her elbow, bringing it to her mouth and thirty seconds later, the empty hand reaching for a napkin. He can’t help the huff of laughter it draws from him.

Watching the unknown creature with her back turned, he peers down the length of himself. Wood stain marred t-shirt, old work jeans and scuffed boots, he’d come straight from the shop. Looking back at her, she seems perfectly packaged and pristine. The two of them, different as chalk and cheese. He tells himself he shouldn’t do it, turn around and go, leave her alone, as he steps up beside her at the table.

Immediately, there’s the heat of her skin, the smell of her shampoo, and he realizes, and it’s silly because it should’ve been obvious from the get go, she’s an omega. The epiphany, not that she is one, but that he’d been too stupid and oblivious to notice, leaves him feeling vulnerable and angry.

Any sort of hello that’d been coming alive on his tongue immediately dies. And he’s about to make a run for it once again when she speaks up from beside him, “Would you like a donut?” Her small fingers are dancing over the pastries, searching once again. “I haven’t had one yet,” she lies, “I can’t decide which looks best.”

The dancing hand pauses over a golden brown puff pastry, seemingly coming to a decision, when she turns to look up at him. The scent of her isn’t just shampoo, not just the blockers he’d shockingly picked up on before, sharp, burning his nose. It’s her skin now, too. The dry sweat from hustling under her coat to make it to her first meeting on time salted along her limbs. Hot, sweet almonds. The shocking vermillion of the morning’s split maple comes to mind. He can smell her.

“A puff pastry?” She presses, quizzical crook to her brow at his silence and glower. “I think you really need something sweet. It’ll make you feel better.”

He wants to agree, to say he also thinks he needs something sweet. All he can manage is a short grunt because she smells…indescribable. Honeyed musk, something heady, like she herself had just got done baking, straight out of the oven and full of sugar into his waiting mouth.

That earlier anger, it kicks up a notch. Why isn’t he fucking saying anything?

She shrugs, as she lifts the puff pastry to her mouth he finally manages sound.

“You stink.”

He doesn’t know when he became such a liar.

A pause, mouth open, straight, white teeth ready to bite into the fluffy sweet bread. He can see her small, pink tongue, and it makes him go a little woozy.

He might be losing his mind.

She’s got elegant eyebrows that shoot straight up her smooth forehead. The look of her skin is glorious. “Excuse me?”

Now, there seem to be too many words spilling out of his mouth. “You need better meds or somethin’. Need to sort your shit out. Can’t go gallivanting about the world smellin’ like that.” Oh god, shut up.

“Excuse me!” She takes a huge bite of the pastry. “I do not gallivant,” she shoots back, mouth full of sugar and Joel goes hot everywhere. “What is wrong with you?” she demands, the pursing of a prim little mouth as she chews, eyeing him maliciously.

He hasn’t the damndest clue.

She is not wary of him in the slightest, which in turn tells him he needs to be wary of her.

Another large bite, inexplicably she extends her free hand towards him—potentially going into shock and entirely out of his depth when he takes it, the vulnerability of tendon and muscle soft beneath his strength—offering him a firm shake. She gives him her name.

In that moment, she has a look about her that tells him she’ll bite back if he isn’t careful, even if she hurts herself in the process.

And now he knows you.

“We might as well acquaint ourselves if you’re going to insult me. Don’t you think?” Peering up at him, he’s tall, well over six feet, and broad shouldered. Older, distinguished, but in a rough way, hewn oak, gray. “Are you typically this rude? Or is this a special occasion?”

Incredibly handsome.

“I’m being serious.”

“I do not stink. No one has ever said that to me, and my blockers are quality. It must be a you problem.” The puff pastry really is very good. And this man really is very handsome. Coming here today was a good idea.

One of the girls from the theater had suggested it, handing you a pamphlet with Looking for the Cure for Loneliness? emblazoned across the top, and even though she’d done it kindly, any other person would’ve taken the implication as an insult. Hey girl! No offense, but we all in the company think you’re super weird and have you heard about this support group for losers? Kind of like Omegas Anonymous!

Those hadn’t been her exact words, and you hadn’t taken offense. After the initial agony of embarrassment, you’d warmed to the idea. You’d heard of groups like these before. Congregations of demi humans where one could come to find community or connection. Be it socializing or support for people struggling with their designations and all that they implied, they served their purpose. And anyways, you weren’t in a position to be nitpicky.

It’s true, you’re alone.

So alone, in fact, that even the people around you could tell. Strangers, coworkers, your roommate and her girlfriend. Like some noxious cloud of loneliness following you around virtue signaling the desperate need for love and companionship and understanding you’re so in need of.

You increasingly saw yourself as a dancer on her toes, trembling delicately all over, vying desperately to survive to the end of the song. A monster with too many heads. A Cerberus of the richest caliber.

Two or three would’ve been acceptable—heads—but you'd long surpassed that and moved on to something unrecognizable and unpleasant. Desperately in need of a solution.

“Maybe you’re the one that stinks. Maybe it’s your upper lip.” And voila, the monster makes her debut.

“My—” The rude alpha, obvious, that one, lets out a choked sound, a deeper wash of color immediately flooding his cheeks. You dip your head sideways, appraising him as you polish off your second pastry. He has pretty bone structure, masculine, and after he’s done choking and spluttering, he can’t help but laugh a little bit. You see it.

Beneath a mouth that looks forbidding, perhaps even a little cruel, you can sense that he is not an unkind man.

Yet you’re not so green that you can’t recognize the gnawing hunger of loneliness in others. There’s always a reason people find themselves in places like these. His face, edged with the weariness of age, makes this obvious. He has good reason for subjecting himself to this.

Reaching for the lovely eclair you’d been deciding between earlier, you take a large bite of it. Almond cream and a thick layer of icing on top, humming happily as you chew while he stares at you like the three headed dog.

You hold the dessert out towards him, offering. Palm up, he shakes his head no, slightly disgusted look on his face.

“So. You come here often?”

He blinks. “Really?” Patronizing look on his face now.

“Why not? I am actually interested to know if this is worth my time.”

He rolls his eyes. Oh, he’s fun. “Yes, I come here often. Every Friday, for the past two months just about.”

“And you like it?”

“Is this the sort of place one likes?”

“Oh, come on. You never know what you might find.” He watches your mouth as you finish the eclair, swallowing hard. “Anyways, I think the world is kind of over out there. Don’t you? Might as well make the best of it in here.”

Thumb pressed against the edge of the table, he looks down, suddenly awash with shyness once again. A shy alpha, who’d of thought.

“What did you used to do?” He asks, motioning at the crowded room full of chatting alphas and omegas. You wonder how many of them will go home together for a fuck after this.

“When?” You ask, sure he means in lieu of this group, if you’d ever had another form of demi human community.

“Before this.”

“Before this? Nothing.” Smiling at him, certain he isn’t picking up on your teasing.

“Nothing?”

“Nope. I’ve always been here.”

“But— Don’t you…I thought...” He’s cute, shaking his head like you’re just too confusing to sustain. “You sing, right?” He pivots.

“Sing? Me? Whatever made you think such a thing?” The sly look on your face goes completely over his head and slides to the rest of the sweets. If he wasn’t watching, you’d have another.

“You said. You said you’re in the opera,” he gruffs back, looking visibly aggravated now.

Such fun.

“I’m a supernumerary,” you concede as you turn, making your way to an old relic of a pew along the far wall, tragically abandoning the desserts.

He follows as you go, sitting a respectful distance beside you.

“I don’t know what that is.”

“We’re the actors that fill the stage at the opera.”

“No singing?”

You shake your head, flirting with him. “I’m a wench, I’m a courtesan,” You bat your lashes, fingertips pressed coquettishly beneath your chin, “Part of a harem. I’m every woman you’ve never known. It depends on the opera.”

“I’ve never heard of that before.”

“I started as a stagehand when I first got to Boston. Worked my way up.”

“How’s it work? Lines or somethin’?”

“No lines. No anything. I’m a background actor—an extra, basically. If anything, I’m given some simple choreography direction, laugh, sigh, show fear, horror, shock. Whatever. I’m playing pretend without actually having to do anything.”

“No working for it.”

Your smile melts to blandness. So he’d been listening, then.

“Did you want to sing?”

“No. I wanted to be a supernumerary.”

“Strange. I’ve never heard of that,” he repeats.

“You did say, yes.” Now, the smile turns auspicious. Everyone’s here for something. “What do you do?” Perhaps this is it for him.

You eye the rest of the congregation, at the far exit, there’s a large alpha helping an omega into his coat.

“Got a shop, furniture, woodworking and such.”

“You make things?” He nods. “Ah, a man of creation.”

Sitting back to take him in, he’s got the beginning insinuations of silver speckling the dark hair at his temples, a well groomed beard, and large, intimidating hands.

His small huff of laughter is bashful, tinged with something disappointed. “No, nothin’ that grand.” And he’s got an accent heavy at the ends of his words, not Bostonian. Southern.

“But you know, I wanted to say…”

“Yes?” You press when he loses his courage, leaning towards him, inhaling deeply.

“Well, that I know what you meant earlier. Sometimes I can be the angry house.”

You blink once. Sit back. “I see.”

“It’s hard work. I have to try every day at it.”

Hard work being the house, or not? Two opposite sides of the same coin.

“How do you stop yourself?” You cast a line, fishing for his character.

“Don’t know. Keep myself cold, I think.”

“That’s no way to be.”

“No. It’s not.” He sounds amused. You want to bite him.

Everyone’s here for a reason.

“Ah, well. Perhaps that’s what’s brought you here then,” you say, twisting the toe of your sneaker against a scuff on the old hardwood, leaning forward on your palms wrapped around the edge of the pew.

“Maybe,” he says, but a sort of pained, exasperated sound follows it. Your hung head turns to peer at the handsome face, and he’s already looking at you.

There’s something animal afoot. Perhaps in terms of designation, sure, of course, like the rest of the alphas and omegas here. Your designations weigh heavily in the air. But also intrinsic to your two personalities. You feel you know him. That the two of you might have the same sorts of problems, desires. And as you stare at him, you think you may be equally measuring each other’s character, finding that similarity in one another.

His eyes move quickly between yours, over your face, and you can tell that prolonged eye contact isn’t his norm.

He has the most surprising set of bright hazel eyes like river stones.

Suddenly, you feel desperate to pull out a flicker of sexuality in the man, hear it in his voice. Sure, that with him, the experience would be entirely different, exhilarating. Perhaps a challenge. He seems to be more quiet and more patient than any other man you’d ever come across, but also more stern—taking in that soft mouth held so firmly. Far more remote too, by the far away look in his gaze. You want to see how he could be moved and what the sight of it would look like.

“Maybe not,” he finally continues. “I’m looking for something, I think.”

“Something like what?”

“Someone like me.”

“An alpha?”

“No,” he looks away, cringing. The word out loud seems a shock to him. “Did you listen to the woman at the start—missing the bad thing? I struggle…with that. Holding on, not letting go even when I know I should.”

You’re at an age now which sometimes makes it hard to realize or accept that what you’re living is your life. That it’s been time to grow up. That you have to remember to move forward when it’s your turn in line.

Which is to say, that you understand him—the difficulties of knowing when to hold on and when to give up.

“Sometimes you hurt yourself because you don’t have anything else to do. Sometimes, because the alternative is much worse.”

“Holding on ‘cause there’s nothing else to do?”

“Sure. Or you’re used to it.” You’ll be gentle with him, you decide. He’s in need of gentle handling despite the stern face; not a puzzle so arbitrarily solved. And those eyes are still so bright, he doesn’t seem like he needs any more hardship.

“Don’t know why I’m tellin’ you this,” he says, accent heavy.

“Well you did come here for a reason. Didn’t you?” Discreetly, you slide closer to his side, but he doesn’t notice. Apparently lost in the realization that perhaps this was what he’d come here for, to talk to someone, to have someone listen and relate. You’re almost positive he’s never gotten up to share with the group before in all his time coming to the meetings; doesn’t look like the type.

“I came here because I’m going to take better care of myself,” you tell him. “I’m going to try harder.”

“Harder at what?” He blinks as if attempting to come out of a dream.

“Everything. I don’t want to end up like my parents; drunk, angry, alone. I’m scared of it. I’ve avoided at least two of them.”

“I’m afraid of getting older,” the dream moves in his eyes. “That I’ll forget,” he says, but you don’t ask what.

All of a sudden, he seems very real. The swells of grief and loneliness moving through him so similarly, so close to the surface.

Springing up, you turn to face him and he follows to stand too. You can hear the crack of his knees unfolding, and when he lifts his left palm to stifle a gruff cough, the band of gold around his finger is paralyzing.

All of a sudden, he’d seemed like what you’d been looking for here too. There’s laughter coming from the church rafters.

“You’re a widower?” He wants to forget, he’d said he wants to let go.

Hadn’t he?

But instead, “What? No.” You stare pointedly at the ring, and he looks down at it also. “No,” he repeats.

“So’re you looking for a fuck, or what?” You try and hold back the bite it comes with, but you can’t.

“No. No. That’s not what I’m looking for.”

You don’t understand, impaired by your youth, you forget you’d chosen to be gentle with him. “Maybe it’s what you need,” you tell him, turning towards the exit before you can watch him cringe.

He follows at your heels, grabbing his coat from the hook by the doors before he’s stepping out after you into the fall blister. It’s cold and wet and glorious out.

“Don’t you have a coat?” He demands.

“Nope.” You start walking towards Arlington Street and the park.

“Did you walk here? It’s freezing out.”

“I did,” you turn back towards him, still moving, and he starts to follow.

“From where?”

“Downtown.”

“Where?” He scowls at your uncooperation, the married man. Alpha. The truth was that he’d smelt strange to you too. Like no one ever had before. As glorious and shocking as the cold. Like if snow had a scent. Disappointment churns in your gut alongside the excitement at the sight of him stalking after you.

“I don’t think you know it.” Your backward walk is interrupted as a hurrying stranger bumps into you, sending you staggering. Watch it, the Boston snark spits. The alpha turns to scowl, heavy boot forward like he’s half a mind to follow after the person you’ve just inadvertently assaulted.

And it occurs to you, “You didn’t tell me your name.” How silly of you. You’d been so distracted you’d forgotten to ask, and what if you never see him again after this? What if you can’t muster the courage to come back again next week? What if he can’t?

“It’s Joel.”

You think it sounds right.

“I might—know it.” Where you’re headed to. You smile at the dog with a bone. The disappointment pulses. “Is it far?” He presses. You shrug, looking over your shoulder. You’re going to lose yourself in the garden for a few hours, forget about him. “Why don’t you drive?”

“I like to walk,” you tell him, turning back.

He looks at you like he doesn’t like the things you say much less the way you say them much less the way you’re grinning at him. Perhaps he can see the disappointment and is disturbed by the sight of it, but the possibility seems too altruistic.

“You should try it sometime, Joel. You might like it too.”

His huge body seems to be shivering in the cold.

“I think…” The look on his face has turned suspicious now. He takes a step towards you. “You’re very strange. And you’re very young. I don’t think we should be friends.”

Your heart gives a demanding thump. “We’re not going to be friends.” When you’d first spotted him in the crowd, the strangest feeling had come over you. A tug behind your belly button, a scalding heat at the back of your neck, at your wrists. Perhaps it’s merely imagination, the look of disappointment you think you see on his face right before you turn away from him to continue on walking. “And I’m not that young anymore.”

You’d known today was going to be a good day. Extra cinnamon in your latte, a late start to your morning, warm in bed, no rain in the sky despite the cloud cover. And your director, late for rehearsals after some freak accident had befallen the roof of his house.

“That’s what all young people say.”

Part 2;

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog

#busy dying fic #vic fic #joel miller fanficition #the last of us au #joel miller x you #joel miller

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flagellant · 2 years ago

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Hello/good morning, new people. Thanks for stopping by. I got a couple hours of sleep and I'm probably going to spend all day today working more on the Blanche Appleton case.

Here's where the story currently stands:

-Blanche Appleton, at first, appears to be a hoax invented by Kikkoman, possibly to appear prestigious and influential during the postwar occupation of Japan. There is shockingly little (i.e. apparently none) evidence of her existence outside of sources citing back to Kikkoman.

-After further investigation, signs right now are pointing to Blanche Appleton being a real individual working in the Economic and Scientific Bureau of the General Headquarters at the time. However, there are still many questions I want to find answers to.

-In a picture on Kikkoman's website, a woman stated to be Blanche Appleton is standing next to a clan head, Toshihiro Shoda, who was involved in Shoda Shoyu, a current shoyu brewery. Kikkoman would be put on trial for price fixing and found guilty along with three other major breweries, and would be subject to trustbusting and apportioning of assets due to it.

-Shoda Shoyu inherited Kikkoman assets during the dispersal, profiting off of the trustbust. But if so, why would Kikkoman have let him into one of their main factories as an apparent honored guest alongside Appleton? What is his relationship to Appleton and this story as a whole?

-Right now I'm trying to get all my current information composited/compiled, along with where I've found it. After that, I've started investigating the history of zaibatsu and yakuza clan organizations in businesses. I want to see if I can't track connections from the antitrust actions taken against Kikkoman directly to organized crime, or if I can't find implications of pseudo/semilegal methods used to ensure Kikkoman didn't truly get busted.

I'm grateful to everyone for their interest, and I promise I will keep all of you updated as things come; your involvement has been important as well. I'm very grateful to have such a dedicated audience to call on for help. I would prefer not to contact any third party investigative youtuber-type deal; this is something I want to be my own. If you'd like to support me during this time, my pinned post has some information for paying me--I'm currently a college student and goin through a real rough patch trying to get food on my table, so some coins in the tip jar would be the best way to allow me to encourage myself to keep on this story.

Once I decide on a properly appropriate name for all of this, I'm going to start tagging all my posts/additions about this with that name, that way people can follow the tag to get more reliable notifications about new developments.

#the mysterious appearance of miss appleton

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luvvixu · 6 months ago

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mind over matter pt. 4

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

content: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: ok, im such a bad author now huhu, i always broke my promises about updating the new chapter :((( should've just wrote in advance but i'm afraid i don't have that enough free time oqsjjanswjaj anyways, here's the anticipated chapter!! THANK YOU FOR Y'ALL PATIENCE <3 MWUHEHEHHEEHHE

previous / masterlist / next

the next day comes and you've got yourself some visitors. megumi, yuuji, nobara, maki, and inumaki was in your room and they were all seated around you as you talk.

panda and your two third years were not around at the moment because this is a non-sorcerer hospital and people would freak out to see a big ‘talking’ panda. during your two third years, they were out of town and were on a mission but they still text you to get well and even send you some fresh flowers.

“wait, i still can't believe that he's your husband.” nobara couldn't explain his shock at the revelation. out of all, she didn't think that her goofy teacher was someone's husband.

you chuckled at her reactions as you turned your gaze on megumi, who's still his mouth hanging. “megumi, i thought you're getting a hint?” you tease the boy. although it was true, you actually thought he already had an idea because you've known him for almost his entire life and even once lived with you as a kid.

“no…” was only his answer.

“so, gojo-sensei was the one you're talking about when you said that he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower you with love and he is making sure that you two would still communicate despite his busy schedule?” your eyes widened when yuuji literally just said what you had said from before, word-by-word!

“i—i supposed he is.” everyone in the room sweat dropped at your answer.

what do you mean you supposed?!

“y/n-sensei, is it okay if we ask your baby?” maki chooses the gentlest approach because she heard that post-pregnancy can make the mother quite crikey, sensitive, and is prone to depression. but to her relief, you respond to her warmly.

“oh, the baby is being treated since they're premature. i really can't wait to meet them once i get better. but right now, shoko was the only one who had seen my baby.” you smiled softly at the thought of your baby.

“gojo-sensei still hadn't seen the baby?” maki’s eyes went wide.

you nodded. “yeah, he said we should go together so i must heal quickly for that to happen.”

the door suddenly opened and it revealed your husband with food in his hand. you smiled at the packages not because you're hungry, but because you had finally persuaded satoru to go out and leave you even for just a few minutes.

how did you do it? well, you just give him an earful after what he did yesterday night and he's like;

“i don't know how you did it but you should've just gone to the convenience store or the hospital canteen just for an oatmeal and eggs. and look, i'm not upset over the fact that you just had the ‘very easy to get’ food delivered on this doorstep. what concerns me is you seem not to trust me very well to handle myself— well in fact i've been doing it since i was a kid and blah, blah, blah, blah…” it was your turn to yap but a little longer than he did. you even probably bought up some of his minor mistakes like not taking out the trash on random sunday night.

and he was like, “i'm sorry. i won’t do it again ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)”

“y'all done backstabbing me?” satoru teasingly smiled at you all.

“oh, we're just getting started. so why don't you take a seat and hear us out?” you patted the empty space of your bed beside you.

satoru playfully huffed and gave the foods to his students and let them distribute it themselves. sitting beside you, he gave you the separate plastic with food and helped you feed yourself. the two of you had your moment with you telling satoru to just let you be and stop feeding you like a kid, but satoru was like nuh uh—and it goes on and on.

meanwhile, the students watch you two with surprise in their eyes. they still couldn't digest the fact that you two had managed to hide your marriage for like five years or so. and out of all spouses out there, they couldn't believe their eyes that you married a guy that is a total opposite of you.

“i still cannot really believe that you're married and have a baddie wife.” nobara almost never tears her gaze towards you two.

“yeah, much more is that they look so in love!” yuuji agrees to what nobara said as his words made you two stop bickering instantly.

like a cold water being poured, you two were suddenly experiencing a reality check that this so-called in love was very far from the two of you actually is. coughing slightly to hide his awkwardness and nervousness, he just let himself chuckle. while you? you're an expert at this, you maintain a smiley expression and wordlessly (and also forcefully) agrees to what the boy said.

“oh my, do we?” putting a hand on your cheek, you smiled with your eyes closed. your act looks so legit but satoru has seen this multiple side—he knew this facade was all fake.

maki suddenly puts herself into attention by calling your name. “anyway y/n-sensei, i've noticed you two don't have a ring—” before she could even finish her sentence, you already beat her to it.

“that's because the two of us, mostly him, are constantly fighting curses and both involve using our hands when we use our techniques. it would be risky to wear it and we're scared that we might get it lost or damaged.” you explain meticulously.

you watch the students agree to your explanation, while satoru is looking at you with meaning. you stared back at him too, hoping that he would get your telepathic message.

“alright guys, your y/n-sensei needs to rest now. we'll just see you guys soon or you can all just drop by tomorrow after your training.” satoru called everyone's attention by clapping his hands then started to playfully shoo the students.

you watch them pack their things and wave you a happy goodbye, in which you return their enthusiasm as well. when they all left, you let out a sigh and started to gently lie your body on the bed. satoru, who was done cleaning just now, sit at the end of your bed and carefully massage your legs.

“did you have fun with them?” you just lazily hum at his question and proceed to rest your eyes.

“i…i'm surprised you managed to convince them about our marriage.” satoru continued quietly.

opening one of your eyes and looking at him, you said, “of course, i've been doing it to a lot of people for the past five years.”

that alone made him shut up.

satoru looked down to his hands, which were still busy massaging your legs. you've noticed that his eyes were casted down and his behavior was somewhat familiar to you, he's feeling something that is related to guilt and regret.

clicking your tongue, you're in no mood to deal with his behavior today. so to find a solution to this problem, you just put yourself to sleep and let all of this just go on without a single care.

it has been two days and you're getting better day by day. today was probably the bestest day so far because you're about to finally see your own baby!

“calm down, mama. do you want your stitches to open again?” shoko holds your knees to stop it from shaking anxiously as you were currently sitting just right outside the neonatal intensive care unit (nicu) where your baby was.

you understand that the doctors need to prepare the room first before you all come in, but you wished that they speed it up.

“but sho, i'm finally seeing my baby!” you squeal at your friend who just ruffles your hair and tells you to be patient—in which you definitely can't.

meanwhile, satoru, who was standing beside you while you and shoko were sitting together, has been eyeing you since this whole waiting. he understands that you're excited about seeing the baby because he is too, he is excited. but he couldn't help but to feel a sensation that you would rather share your excitement with others than him.

he knows that he sounds ridiculous and undeserving to say that in the first place after what he did to put you through, but he still couldn't help it and he wouldn't even dare to say it to you.

the door of the nicu just opened and it revealed the doctor who was wearing protective gear to keep bacterias and viruses from entering the room and harm the baby. before he lets you all in, he first instructs you all to change the same gear as him and then proceeds to give you all some explanation in which you actively listen and take notes.

and after that, he finally lets you go inside.

the moment your eyes traveled on a crib, you saw your child laying down there with some breathing apparatus that is connected to their little body. you could feel your eyes swell with hot tears as you inch yourself towards the bundle of joy who's their crib was also protected with glass and only small holes on both sides were there.

satoru and shoko watched you with pure warmth at your sight—it was a nice scene of mother's love. finally, a tear escapes your eyes the moment you get a whole view of your child.

“isn't he pretty?” shoko said beside you, someone who you didn't notice had come near you.

you gasp, “he? m-my baby is a boy?” your cries go even harder, but it was just pure happiness. you couldn't bring yourself to tear your gaze away from your child even though he looks fragile for being premature but you love him dearly.

“can i touch him?” you look at the doctor who assisted you earlier without caring that you might look like a crying mess. you're far more thrilled to be with your child than to be pretty at this moment.

the doctor smiled at you and he agreed. he pointed out the small hole on the side, telling you to stick your hands out to feel your baby. you do what he said with your shaky hands, and when your fingertips touch his warm skin—you feel like you could die from the burst of euphoria.

“my b-baby, my baby is n-now here!” you really can't hold your emotions back as you keep on passing your fingers through your baby's arm until it reaches his closed hands where you slightly and gently open it for him to grab index finger. and when he does, your smile becomes even wider.

“hi baby~ this is me, your mommy. it's so nice to finally see you.” you whispered softly, hoping that despite the glass, he could hear your words.

this is the bestest day of your life. your baby was here and that's all you need.

the scene continues to unfold with you still getting emotional and shoko was just watching you with a smile on her face. while satoru, the father of the child, the husband of the mother, was a little distant but he could still see the baby. he was all quiet and couldn't bring himself to utter a word but he's not speechless.

his eyes behind those glasses were trailed on the child, but most of his gazes were on you. satoru watches you become all smiley—this is probably the happiest smile he had seen on your lips for the past years of your marriage.

and he would absolutely never forgive himself if he breaks it—but he already did.

shoko notices his odd behavior and promptly leaves your side for a while (but you're busy having a baby talk with your baby to notice her leaving) to go talk to him.

“what? you're just gonna stand there and watch y/n?” yup. still the same as before, hostile towards the man. satoru let out a sigh and didn't give her attention. instead, he walked towards y/n and just focused on his family.

“you’re so tiny!” you continue to cooed at your son who keeps on moving slightly which is a good sign that your son is responsive and fighting. you also noticed that satoru was now right beside you and is looking at your son too with adoration tinted in his eyes.

“i don't think i could let myself be away from him anymore.” you said. your cheeks were now hurting from constant smiling but you don't mind.

satoru only looks at you briefly because his attention was now on his son, fully. “hello, it was nice finally meeting you.” his eyes trailed on his own flesh and blood with the most care of all.

on the other hand, you're not dumb to not notice that satoru was acting hesitant towards this scene and you knew what his reason was. you think that satoru thinks that he was undeserving to be here, and you're correct about his assumption.

but as a woman who grew up with an experience of being inside a shattered family, you absolutely would not want that to happen to your own child. and as much as you would also like to satoru be away at least for now because you're still that sensitive about what he had said during those conversations in the clinic and hallway, you respect his role as a father.

you'd give him a chance to prove his worth as a father to your child, but he's far worse to have a chance to prove his worth as a husband to you. if he messes this up real bad and without any proper explanation, this will be all over—satoru would no longer have you and your child as his own family.

“stick your hand on his hole, that way you could feel him.” you guided his hand towards the hole that you had said before and watched his hands turn shakey as he reached for the baby.

once satoru had finally experienced a skin-to-skin touch with his baby, he wanted to cry so badly but he didn't allow himself to, at least not yet. he felt like this was one of the best moments in his existence.

satoru would like to punch himself for questioning the baby for his plans as he seemingly thinks it would affect him. but just when he look and touch his baby, all of his recollection about the mixed emotions he felt when the baby is on the board has suddenly vanished and it was replaced with gratefulness and adoration for both of you.

it was like a full 360 degrees turn was done after the early birth of his first born. plus, he had seen you be ever so happy that you are with him. and deep inside him, satoru deniably hopes that this kid, this child, can at least help him save this marriage that was destined to fail and doomed.

because he now finally realizes that you're slowly wrapping him around your tiny fingers.

your tears had made him be a better person, your recent experience had made him behave. it almost cost you and your baby's wife just for him to realize the importance of your five years of marriage, and he's planning to tell you that soon.

“have you finally decided what name we should give him?” shoko asked you and she didn't fail to see your eyes sparkle at the mention of name.

ah yes, baby names.

that was something that a mother and father should decide together because it comes very crucial because the name that your baby will get is a symbol of you two's relationship. but the thing is, you and your husband hadn't talked about a single thing or just anything related to this matter.

that's probably why you're still embarrassed whenever you think about nanami accidentally seeing you open a website into one of the school's computers about unique baby names with its meaning.

you're four months pregnant at that time and you're spending your free time in a teacher's lounge. you're very invested in your mini research to the point that you didn't notice an old friend peeking at your screen. you actually only notice his presence when you're about to stretch but accidentally bump his torso, and to your surprise, he was there.

and then the rest becomes a story and history. nanami helped you pick baby names for both genders or even unisex until you came out with…

“kazuki. let's name him that.” a soft smile was decorated on your lips as you watched satoru, who's looking at you, plays with the hands of your son.

“kazuki…that's a nice name, y/n.” satoru said happily. however, you can see his disappointment behind those words and you know why. you didn't even invite him to search for your baby's name because why would you?

“does it have any special meaning?” shoko asked you.

you nodded and said, “of course, kazuki means hope of peace—and i really need that.”

taglists: @mistymuii @kalopsia-flaneur @sherryuki-callmeyuki @aish777 @tttttttf @slyhersophia @rirk-ke @labelt-san @shinruo @testrella @sad-darksoul @kurookinnie @mountvesuvu @chwesuh-imnida @cole-silas @elernity @maddie-jayne @yozora7154 @kawaiivillainess98 @forourpoets @aishies-stuff @numblytemporary @souyasplushie @catarinemirandax @aerithsthingss @h1gh4ru @ssetsuka @jskodn @khoiyyu @the2ndl @vebbiewuzhere @kouyoumarryme @dreamyescapesfromreality @local-mr-frog @haesify @blkmystery @bleppt @leavem3al0n3 @arminloverlol @megumisthirdog @shirabane @sheismaryy @tragicgirl444 @vampsins @miizuzu @kurobo @anxious-chick @p1nkliquor @mshitachin @chxrv @lolsasuke @username23345 @netyxms @lvstru @roscpctals99 @buttermilktea11 @berenevenstarzetaestelar @jiupark @hotsauce247 @veryverysadauthor @skepticalleo @opentheyoor01 @slowlyshycomputer @babybarbs12 @thickemadame @yaninnaacu @foggypostshark

[part 5 will be just there right around the corner — ��luvvixu2024]

#gojo satoru #anime #gojo satoru x reader #fanfic #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo x reader #luvvixu #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru angst #satoru angst #gojo angst #jjk angst #angst #arrange marriage

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plussizefantasia · 7 months ago

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More Body, More Money

Anthony Bridgerton x wife!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

warnings: Allusion to smut towards the end, references to a female body and that body being bigger

an: holy shit sorry for disappearing for so long. I make no promises as to when I'll come back as I seem to have a habit of breaking those. I've been in a Bridgerton mood recently though and typed this on my phone in like an hour so no promises that it's all that good. I will say though that I've been working on a request recently and it's currently at 4k and counting which is by far the longest fic I've ever written and I'm not even to the good part yet. I've also finished outlining the rest of the parts for my Kili x reader fic. I think that's it though, thanks for reading this far if you did and for putting up with my bs.

“Darling, could you come here a moment?” Your husband called from his desk. Recently you had taken to reading while lounging on the couch in his study. It was a great way to spend time with your busy husband while also letting him get his work done.

You didn’t exactly know what he was working on at the moment but apparently, your presence was needed to solve whatever issue he had stumbled upon. It wasn’t until you got closer to his desk that you noticed the receipts and ledgers sprawled across his desk. He was updating the families' books and tracking the spending that you and the rest of his family had done that month.

“Yes, my love?” You moved to rest your hand on his back and traced it across his shoulders and on his neck. It was as if you two were magnets, unable to keep apart for very long. If you were close enough then you would feel your hands gravitating towards him. And if the way his arm moved to rest on your back as well, he had the same urges when in proximity to you.

“I’ve noticed something odd in the charges from the modiste.” Anthony handed you the papers. Both you and Eloise had gone to the modiste at the beginning of the month to be fitted for some new gowns to prepare for her second season in the marriage mart and your first season as the Viscountess.

“I’ll admit to not being the most knowledgeable about gowns and other frivolities my love, but is it normal for the cost difference to be this large? I mean when Ben and I get new suits the price is almost always similar.” He pointed to the two prices listed on the bill from Madame Delacroix.

You didn’t know how to respond to this, you knew the reason behind the price difference between yours and Elioises dresses, of course, it was something that you had thought of already. After all, it was the same reason that your younger sister always got more gowns than you every season that the two of you attended growing up. You were larger, and as the modiste you had gone to grow up with had said “More body means more fabric means more money.” more money that your father had deemed unnecessary so you had only ever gotten one or two new dresses while your sister would be fitted for five or six of the newest and most flattering styles.

But how could you explain this to Anthony? That your dresses cost more than his sisters because you were bigger, and that meant more money.

You knew Anthony loved your body, he worshiped it often in fact but there was a difference between getting lost in the softness of your embrace and seeing the real-life sometimes the financial consequences of living in a bigger body.

“Oh, Anthony, it is uh- just a matter of resources I suppose.”

He raised a brow at you. “I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean by resources?”

“Well dear husband, you and your brother are very similar in height and build which means the two of you have very similar resource usage, whereas myself and your sister are quite different in the… resource usage department.”

“My love, I need you to speak to me as if I am an idiot.”

You deeply sighed and prepared yourself to have the conversation that you had been trying and failing to get out of. “Eloise is small, therefore it does not take as much fabric to make her dresses, whereas I am quite well endowed and my dresses require more material. More body means more fabric means more money it is as simple as that.”

“That is preposterous, are you both not getting dresses?” His tone was getting more defensive, and it warmed your heart to know that he was willing to get upset at the simple fact that Madame Delacroix had charged you more because your dress was bigger. You had expected him to be embarrassed, and deep down somewhat afraid that he would realize that he had signed himself up for these extra expenses for the rest of his life by marrying you.

“Well darling, think about it, would you expect to pay the same amount for a child as you would for yourself? Do you not pay more for your suits than you do Greg’s?”

“No, I see your point darling.”

“That is all this is my love, different sizes of clothing cost different amounts. If it is a problem I can just see about getting some of my old gowns altered to make them somewhat nicer for the new season, that way you would not have to spend as much.”

“What? No. Darling, this is not about the money, I was merely worried that that woman had tried to take advantage of you, charging you far more than Eloise for the same thing. I couldn’t care less about the money. In fact, I think you should get ten more gowns made, show everyone in the Ton that I am married to the most voluptuous, sensual, and desirable woman in the world.” He pulled you closer to him so that you were standing in between his spread knees, you still standing over him as he leaned back in his chair.

Anthony began training kisses up and down the arm that he had grasped within his hand. Turning your wrist over so that he could place one at the center of your palm.

“I do not need ten new gowns, Anthony, that is far too much.” You giggled and protested, feeling more enamored with the man you married with every word out of his mouth.

“Perhaps I shall buy you ten diamond necklaces then so that I can have an excuse to stare at your chest as often as I’d like.” You snorted and gently smacked the back of his head. “Anthony Bridgerton, that is scandalous talk and you know it.”

“Nothing is scandalous between husband and wife, especially when the two are alone.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and lifted the corners of his lips into a sultry grin, one that had your knees feeling weaker by the second.

“All I really need, dear husband, is you.”

A smile that you could only consider adoring spread across your husband's face.

“And I you, my love.”

“No Anthony, I need you.”

His grin turned to a full-blown smirk spreading across his face, “Well, what the Viscountess needs she gets…”

;)

#anthony bridgerton #Anthony Bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x wife!reader #anthony bridgerton x plus size reader #x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton imagine #plus size reader #fanfic #plus size!reader #fluff #requests open #requests wanted

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thepixelelf · 2 years ago

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Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

51. Don't Freak Out

chapters loading...

52. Bad Guys

53. Everything is Fine

OBY Ask the Characters Game

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con-dientes · 1 month ago

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Shared Smoke pt. 1

(TW: 1nc3st, b1g br0 x l1l s1s, 🍃 1nt0x)

I kinda rushed thru this so lemme clear some things up: I haven’t written since 8th grade on wattpad so pls dont kill me, thanks. Idk when I’ll be updating bc I have a really busy month 😭

I loved my brother. No matter how much of a jerk he was, I loved him, so when I caught him digging through my drawer for money, it didn’t bother me much.

“Hey, kiddo, I was just… uh, looking for you!” my older brother lies. I look at him, unimpressed.

“You were looking for me in my drawer?” I ask, glancing at my scattered panties. He freezes, realizing the mess he made. “I thought I saw a spider in here. Just making sure it was gone,” he stammers, but his twitchy movements give him away. I notice his withdrawals kicking in.

“Look, sis, I’m sorry. I really need some cash. Got any I can borrow?” His voice is strained, and I know he has no intention of paying it back. “I don’t have cash, bro,” I reply. “Gave it to the needy.”

He groans, rubbing his temples. “Come on, lil’ sis, not even a few bucks?” His desperation is hard to ignore. “I…” I hesitate, and he notices. He steps closer, his tone softening. “Please, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. I need your help.”

“I… I don’t have money, but…” I struggle to meet his eyes. His eyes light up, sensing a chance. “But what, sis?”

“I have some weed…” I finally say. “Weed? Shit, that’s perfect,” he says, relief washing over him. “You’re a lifesaver.” His hand trembles as he reaches out. “Can I have some? Please? I promise I won’t smoke it here—I’ll go outside or something. You won’t even know.”

“Smoke it here… with me.” My brother’s eyes widen, surprise quickly turning into a grin. “Are you serious?” he asks. “Not that I’m complaining, but… what brought this on?” We’ve always kept our habits separate. But if I’m offering now, who is he to refuse?

“Got a lighter, or should I grab mine?”

"I've got my stuff." I reply, bending over to look under my bed. He watches as I bend over to look under the bed, his eyes unconsciously trailing over my form. He shakes his head, trying to focus on the promise of getting high rather than his sibling's body. "Nice," he says, his voice a bit hoarse. "So, uh, where do you wanna to do this? Your room or mine?" He glances around, half-expecting our parents to burst in. Running a hand through his hair, he grins. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d want to smoke with me, sis. I’m kinda impressed.”

“We can do it in my bed…” I pull out my stash. “I… kinda need this high, too.” My brother’s eyebrows shoot up. “On your bed? Alright, cool,” he says, trying to sound casual. He sits on the edge of the bed, watching me. “You need a high too, huh? What’s going on?” he asks, his tone a mix of curiosity and concern. “Everything okay?” Despite his own desperate need for a fix, he can't help but worry about his sibling. He leans forward, studying my face.

"Let's..." I bite my bottom lip, avoiding his question as I roll the joint. "...get high." I press the joint to his lips, and he looks surprised but takes it, inhaling deeply as I light it. Smoke fills the air, and he exhales, his body relaxing. "Fuck, that's good." He passes the joint back, a lazy smirk on his face. "Your turn," he says, his voice rough. "Didn't know you had it in you, sis."

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, big brother,” I reply, taking a hit. His eyebrows shoot up, surprise and intrigue flickering across his face. He takes another drag, holding the smoke before exhaling slowly. “Is that right?” he says, his voice low. “Sounds like there’s a whole side to you I’ve never seen.” He watches me through half-lidded eyes, the smoke curling around my face. There’s something different about tonight, something that's making his skin tingle in a way that has nothing to do with the weed. “So, what other secrets you been keeping from me?” he asks with a smirk. He leans back on his elbows, his body evident even through his clothes. "Cause I gotta say, I'm kinda digging this new side of you."

"Things you probably don't need to know." I reply softly, beginning to get high. I smile lazily, biting my bottom lip once more. "Fuck~ that feels good~"

My brother’s eyes soften as he watches me take a hit, my words and actions igniting something primal within him. The weed is starting to kick in, making everything feel hazy and intense. "Oh yeah?" he says, his voice low and gravelly. "Maybe I wanna know those things, baby sis. Maybe I wanna know everything about you." He leans in closer, the scent of smoke and something uniquely me filling his senses. His lip quirks into a smirk as he notices me biting my bottom lip. "Feels good, huh?"

The tension in his body is melting away, replaced by a warm, tingling sensation. He can't help but notice how raw I look right now, all relaxed and flushed.

"You look fucking hot like this, you know that?" The words slip out before he can stop them, fueled by the weed and the strange, electric atmosphere between them.

I laugh softly, playfully pushing him. "Don't say shit you don't mean, man!" His eyes widen at my playful push, a grin spreading across his face. "Who says I don't mean it? You're fucking beautiful, sis."

"Promise you're not saying that just because I'm your little sister?" I ask, blowing smoke on his face. He inhales the smoke I blow into his face, feeling it tingle pleasantly in his lungs. He holds it for a moment, then exhales slowly.

The high is starting to really hit him now, making his thoughts hazy and disjointed.

"No, I'm not," he says, shaking his head vehemently. His hair falls messily over his face as he leans in closer. "I've never seen you as just my little sister..." I gasp softly, the weed making me feel like this wasn't a big deal. I look at him, unsure of how to react.

My brother’s heart races as I gasp softly, the weed making them both feel uninhibited and reckless. He can't believe he just confessed his true feelings like that, but the high has stripped away his usual caution. "What?" he asks, his voice low and rough. "You never thought about it before? About us?"

"I... think we're both high." I reply. "Don't kill it, don't kill the vibe."

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polarisjisung · 4 months ago

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LOVE ON THE COURT | 09 ENEMIES TO WHAT

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing, kys/kms jokes, sexual innuendos, mention of Jesus? it's respectful I promise, a slight mention of some shitty exes, idk where all the death talk comes from it just happens 🧍‍♀️

NOTES |I have a feeling this chapter is confusing but idk anymore my brain is fried 😭 gang, the past few chapters have not been getting us far but trust we will be gettin deeper into the captain x captain action soon also omg I've had like negative motivation to be writing these chapters so please forgive me for the late update 🙏 I'm in that awkward writing phase where I know the start and end but writing the small details in the middle of this story is making my brain do overtime also I need some show reccs so if anyone has seen anything good send it my way PLEASE 🫶

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TAGLIST (open): @jenobubbles @justalildumpling @nanawrlds @222brainrot @sungookie @pepperedthot @dinonuguaegi @haechansbbg @90s-belladonna @bath1lda @jeongintwt @daegalfangirl @ahnneyong @jammingjaem @paper-boats-rose @iraa567 @errrrrat @kyusqult @suzayaaa @jising-jisang-jisung @soonyoonswoo @nctrawberries @wonbin-truther @sunghoonsgfreal @lotties-readings @onlyhyunjin @swee7dream @girlz4jaem @beomgyusonlywife @nanaxwi @nosungluv @tommina @sinisxtea @20sdiary @otblous @p-d1ddy @lostinneocity @soobs-things @odxrilove @buns-inhiding @busy-daydreaming02 @starfilledgaze @papichulomacy @grassbutneo @iwilleatyourgod @jeeluv @soheendo @mystverse @meowtella

#jaemin smau #nct dream smau #nct smau #nct dream social au #nct dream social media au #jaemin social media au #nct dream fake texts #nct dream texts #nct fake texts #nct texts #kpop smau #jaemin #nct #nct dream

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buckets-and-trees · 3 months ago

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The Silence of the Hushed Sublime

Collection: CEDAR TREES Characters/Pairings: King!Steve Rogers x Queen!Reader Word Count: 4.8k Summary: A morning one month after the Spring Equinox. You savor some of the precious time before you as king and queen have to take up your royal duties - but this morning will be different than any that came before.

Content & Warnings: royal au, pregnancy conditions, discussion of pregnancy and children, smut: breast play, unprotected vaginal intercourse, brief cock stroking and vaginal fingering, edging into a pregnancy kink (probably)

Author Notes: I PROMISED I'D UPDATE SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE 2200 FOLLOWERS, AND HERE IT IS!While a few others put up a fight, and even temporarily edged into the lead, King Steve came out triumphant in the end! It's been a busy summer with other projects, so I was thrilled to see him leading most of the time because it gave me the perfect excuse to prioritize him! Also... even though I've been planning this chapter for months with very clear ideas of its outline, the muse still surprised me, but I won't say more than that for now...

Narrative Notes: To read previous pieces chronologically, refer to the masterlist for the Cedar Trees Collection.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

The soft song of birds coaxes you into consciousness, and you are susprised to find yourself awake before Steve - a rare thing. Before him, you were never much for mornings, but now you enjoy the time bathed in the glow of the warm morning sunlight and blissfully showered in his attention, woken up with kisses and soft murmurings, and his beard against your neck, your shoulder, your cheek.

But this morning, as you slowly come into consciousness, you roll to your side, careful not to disturb him, and smile as you get a rare opportunity to study his face without distraction and without him knowing.

Your eyes trace the strong line of his jaw, softened by his beard, and you resist the urge to reach out and run your fingers through it. His lips are slightly parted, and you can hear the soft, steady rhythm of his breathing. His brow is smooth, free from the creases of concentration or worry that often mark it during the day. In sleep, he looks younger, more carefree.

You let your gaze wander down to his broad shoulders, exposed above the sheets. The early morning light casts a golden glow on his skin, highlighting the contours of his muscles. Even in repose, there's a quiet strength to his features that never fails to captivate you.

As you watch him, a wave of tenderness washes over you. This man, your husband, your king - he's everything you never knew you wanted or needed. The love you feel for him sometimes overwhelms you with its intensity.

Your hand drifts down to rest on your belly. You haven't told him yet, wanting to be absolutely certain, but you're fairly sure now. The nausea that's been plaguing you in the mornings, the tenderness in your breasts, the absence of your monthly courses - all signs point to the fact that you're with child.

As if sensing your scrutiny, Steve begins to stir. His eyelids flutter, and a small groan escapes his lips as he stretches. When his eyes finally open, they immediately find yours, and a sleepy smile spreads over his face.

"Good morning, my love," Steve murmurs, his voice husky with sleep. He reaches out to pull you closer, nuzzling into your neck. "This is a pleasant surprise. Usually, I'm the one watching you sleep."

You can't help but laugh softly, running your fingers through his tousled hair. "I couldn't resist. You looked so peaceful."

His arms tighten around you, and you feel the familiar warmth of desire spreading through your body. After months of marriage, he ignites fire along your skin every time he touches you.

As he holds you, you can feel your heart racing, the weight of your secret pressing upon you. You want to tell him, to share this joy and excitement with him, but a small voice inside your head whispers caution.

It's still early, too early. You don't want to get his hopes up, or worse, disappoint him if something were to happen. You feel you should wait a little longer, just to be sure.

Steve senses your hesitation and pulls back slightly to look at you. "Is everything alright?" he asks, concern etched in his features.

You force a smile and nod. "Yes, everything's fine. I was just thinking about how fortunate I am to have you."

He smiles back at you before leaning in for a soft kiss. His lips are gentle against yours, full of love and warmth.

"I'm the fortunate one," he says as he pulls away.

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, Steve begins tracing circles on your cheek with his thumb. "I've been meaning to ask you something," he says after a moment of silence.

"What is it?" You ask curiously.

"I know we've talked about starting a family one day," Steve starts nervously. "But I was wondering if...if now might be the right time?"

Your heart swells at his words and the butterflies in your stomach flutter frantically. Does he already suspect? Or is this just a coincidence?

"I think that would be wonderful," you say softly, unable to keep the happiness out of your voice.

Steve's face lights up in excitement and relief all at once. He wraps his arms around you tightly and presses kisses along your neck while whispering words of love and excitement.

As he peppers small kisses along your jawline and collarbone, tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You can't believe how lucky you are to have found such a caring and loving partner.

Your legs tangle with his, and you pull his lips to yours, engaging him in a long, languid kiss. Your bodies move together, easing into lustier territory, but neither of you feeling the pressure to rush things along.

After a few more minutes, you break off the kiss and rest your forehead to his. He breathes you in, and your chest tightens in contentment.

But then suddenly, you’re overcome with a wave of nausea rolling over you. You quickly sit up, pressing a hand to your mouth.

"My love?" he questions, reaching for you, voice full of concern.

You shake your head, unable to speak as you fight the urge to be sick. Steve sits up immediately, worry etched on his face. He rubs your back soothingly as you take deep breaths.

After a moment, the nausea passes. You look at Steve, a mix of excitement and trepidation in your eyes. Your heart races. This is the moment, you realize. You take a deep breath, gathering your courage. "Steve, I have something to tell you."

His blue eyes widen, a flicker of understanding passing through them. He takes your hand, his thumb stroking your knuckles gently. "What is it, my love?" he asks softly, though there's an undercurrent of anticipation in his voice.

You take another deep breath, your free hand instinctively moving to rest on your stomach. "I believe I might already be with child," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, Steve is utterly still, his hand frozen on your back. Then, his face transforms, a look of pure joy and wonder spreading across his features. "Truly?" he breathes, his voice filled with wonder and joy.

You nod, tears of happiness welling in your eyes. "I'm not entirely certain yet, but all the signs are there. I've been starting to feel ill in the mornings, I’ve now fully missed my courses twice…”

Steve's arms are around you in an instant, pulling you close to his chest. You can feel his body tremble with emotion, and he presses kisses to every inch of your face, exuberantly showering your forehead, your cheeks, your eyelids, lips, nose, jaw, temples with his excitement.

Steve pulls back slightly to look at you, cupping your face in his hands and brushing away a stray tear that has escaped down your cheek. "This is the greatest news I could have ever hoped for," says, voice thick with adoration.

You smile radiantly, bursting with happiness, thrilled to finally be sharing this with him, the one who holds every piece of your heart.

You're overwhelmed by the love and joy radiating from Steve's eyes. Unable to contain your emotions any longer, you pull him in for another kiss. This one is different from the gentle, sleepy kisses you shared earlier. It's filled with passion, promise, and the excitement of your shared future.

Your lips move against his with increasing urgency, and Steve responds in kind. His hands, which were cradling your face, now slide down to your waist, pulling you closer. You can feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of your nightgown, igniting a fire within you.

As the kiss deepens, you part your lips, inviting him in. Steve's tongue meets yours, and a soft moan escapes you. The sound seems to fuel his passion further, and he gently lowers you back onto the bed, his body hovering over yours.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, as you deepen the kiss. Steve's hand caresses your side, sliding down to your thigh and hitching your leg over his hip. The weight of his body presses you into the mattress, igniting sparks of pleasure everywhere you touch.

He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your neck, pausing to lavish attention on the sensitive spot just below your ear that never fails to make you shiver.

"My love," he murmurs against your skin, his voice husky with desire. "My queen. The mother of my child." Each endearment is punctuated with a kiss, each one sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you.

Your hands slide down his back, feeling the play of muscles beneath his skin. You arch into him, craving more contact. Steve's hand skims down your side, over your hip, and then slowly pushes up your nightgown. His fingers trace patterns on your bare thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Steve," you breathe, your voice a mix of pleasure and need.

Steve's eyes darken with desire at the sound of his name on your lips. In one fluid motion, he flips you both over, rolling onto his back and settling you atop him. The sudden change in position elicits a gasp of surprise and delight from you.

Your nightgown has ridden up, bunched around your waist, leaving your lower half bare against his skin. Steve's hands slide up your thighs, over your hips, and finally come up to span your waist. His thumbs stroke the soft skin just beneath your breasts, sending shivers of anticipation through your body.

Steve's gaze roams over you, drinking in the sight of you above him, bathed in the soft morning light.

"You're breathtaking," he murmurs, voice rough with want.

It sends shivers up your spine, and you place your hands on his broad chest for balance, feeling his heart racing beneath your fingertips. Slowly, deliberately, you roll your hips

Your movements elicit a deep groan from Steve, his fingers digging into your hips. The friction sends waves of pleasure through you, and you repeat the motion, savoring the way his body responds to yours.

Steve's hands slide up your sides, taking your nightgown with them. You raise your arms, allowing him to pull the garment over your head and toss it aside. His eyes darken as they roam over your newly exposed skin, lingering on the subtle changes in your body that hint at the new life growing within you.

"So beautiful," he breathes, his voice filled with awe and desire.

Steve's hands explore your body, caressing every curve and plane with reverence. When his palms brush over your breasts, you gasp.

He chuckles. He’s always loved your breasts.

Steve's thumbs brush over your sensitive nipples, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. You arch into his touch, craving more. His hands cup your breasts gently, massaging them with just the right amount of pressure.

"Are they more sensitive now?" he asks, his voice low and husky.

You nod, unable to form words as he continues his ministrations. Steve sits up, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you as he brings his mouth to your breast. The first touch of his lips against your sensitive skin makes you cry out softly.

His tongue swirls around your nipple before he takes it into his mouth, sucking gently. The sensation is almost overwhelming in its intensity. Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close as waves of pleasure wash over you.

Steve lavishes attention on both breasts, alternating between gentle kisses, licks, and soft suckling. Your body writhes atop his, pleasure building with each touch. Steve's hands roam your back, your hips, your thighs, as if he can't get enough of feeling your skin beneath his palms.

You can feel his arousal pressing insistently against you, and you roll your hips again, relishing the groan that escapes him. Steve's head falls back, exposing the column of his throat. Unable to resist, you lean forward and press your lips to his neck, trailing kisses up to his jaw.

"My love," Steve breathes, his voice rough with desire. "I need you."

His words send a jolt down your spine. You capture his lips in a passionate kiss, pouring all your love and desire into it. Steve's hands grip your hips, guiding you as you slowly lower yourself onto him.

You both gasp as you sink down onto him, your bodies joining together. The sensation is exquisite, and for a moment, you simply hold still, savoring the feeling of completeness. Steve's hands tighten on your hips, his breath coming in short pants against your neck.

"You feel incredible," he murmurs, pressing hot kisses along your collarbone.

Slowly, you begin to move, rolling your hips in a steady rhythm. Steve matches your movements, thrusting up to meet you. The pleasure builds with each motion, waves of sensation washing over you.

Steve's hands roam your body, caressing every inch of skin he can reach. His touch is reverent as it always is, but there’s also an almost imperceptible change in it, more protective. When his fingers brush over your stomach, where your child grows, a surge of emotion wells up within you.

He looks back up into your eyes, his blue irises bold with an intensity that always takes your breath away. But they’re also glassy with unshed tears of pride.

You lean down to capture his lips in a passionate kiss, your bare skin pressing against his chest, his coarse chest hair playing deliciously against your nipples. You grind down on his hips again, needing more friction.

Steve groans into your mouth, his hands gripping your hips tighter as he matches your rhythm. The pleasure builds with each movement, waves of sensation washing over you both. Your bodies move together in perfect synchronicity, a dance you've perfected over months of loving each other.

You break the kiss, gasping for air as you arch your back, changing the angle slightly. The new position sends sparks of pleasure shooting through you, and you cry out softly. Steve's eyes are fixed on you, drinking in every expression of pleasure that crosses your face.

"That's it, my love," he murmurs encouragingly, his voice rough with desire. "Let me see you."

His words spur you on, and you increase your pace, chasing the building pleasure. Steve's hands slide up your sides to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your sensitive nipples. The dual sensations of him inside you and his hands on your breasts send you spiraling higher. Your movements become more frantic as you near your peak.

Steve senses your urgency and slides one hand down between your bodies, his skilled fingers finding that sensitive bundle of nerves. The added stimulation is almost too much, and you cry out his name as waves of pleasure crash over you.

Your inner walls clench around him, and Steve groans deeply. His hips buck up into you as he follows you over the edge, his release pulsing inside you.

For a moment, you both remain still, panting heavily as you come down from your shared high. Steve's arms wrap around you, holding you close against his chest. You nuzzle into his neck, pressing soft kisses to his skin.

"I love you," you murmur, your voice heavy with emotion. "So much."

Steve's hand comes up to cradle the back of your neck, gently guiding your face to his. His eyes, still dark with passion, search yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch.

"And I love you," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I ever thought possible." His thumb strokes your cheek tenderly.

Then he gently rolls you both onto your sides, keeping you close as he softly strokes your hair. His other hand rests protectively over your lower abdomen, a gesture that makes your heart swell with love.

"Our child," he murmurs in awe, his eyes shining with joy as they meet yours. "I can scarcely believe it."

You smile, placing your hand over his. "I know. It still feels surreal to me too."

Steve leans in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "You've given me everything, my love. You brought vibrant color to this kingdom, and now a family and a future brighter than I could have ever dreamed."

You feel tears prick at your eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of his love and the enormity of the moment. Steve leans in, pressing a soft, reverent kiss to your lips. When he pulls back, there's a hint of mischief in his smile.

"Though I must say," he adds, his tone lighter, "if this is how your body reacts while pregnant, I may have to get you with child more often.”

You laugh, playfully swatting his chest. "Careful what you wish for, my king. We may end up with a whole brood of little ones running about the castle."

Steve's eyes light up at the thought. "And what a joyous chaos that would be," he says, pulling you closer. "Our own little kingdom within these walls."

You snuggle into his warmth, relishing the feeling of his strong arms around you. "It would certainly keep us on our toes," you muse, imagining the pitter-patter of tiny feet echoing through the corridors.

Steve's hand moves to your belly again, his touch gentle and reverent. "I can't wait to meet this little one," he says softly. "To see your eyes in their face, or perhaps your smile."

You place your hand over his, intertwining your fingers. "Or your sharp nose, and your strength.”

His expression softens as he gazes at you, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your stomach. "How are you feeling? Truly?"

You take a moment to consider, assessing your body. "A bit nauseous still," you admit. "But mostly, I feel happy. Excited. And a little scared," you add softly.

Steve's arms tighten around you reassuringly. "It's alright to be scared," he murmurs. "This is new territory for both of us. We will face it together, as we always have."

You nod, burrowing closer into his warmth. "I know. There is simply so much to think about. So much to prepare."

Steve nods thoughtfully, his fingers gently combing through your hair. "Indeed there is. But we have time, my love. We will take it one step at a time."

You smile, feeling comforted by his steady presence. "You are right. Though I suppose we should start thinking about when to make the announcement."

Steve's eyes light up at the thought. "Ah yes, sharing our joy with the kingdom." He pauses, a hint of concern crossing his face. "Though perhaps we should wait a bit longer, to be certain?"

You nod in agreement. "My thoughts exactly. I would like to consult with the royal physician first, to confirm everything is progressing as it should."

"Of course," Steve says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "We will keep this our little secret for now."

“I do think it in order that we soon bring Lord Barnes into our confidence on this,” you said, drumming your fingers lightly over Steve’s chest. “And Viscount Coulson.”

“You need not feel obligated, we can alter our morning routine and breakfast privately again,” clearly thinking you felt it would be necessary to explain the morning sickness when it plagued you in their presence.

“Oh, no, no,” you counter. “They should know. They are your closest advisors and our trusted friends, are they not?”

“Bucky all my life, and Coulson these many years I’ve been king.”

“Then we will tell them over the next few days,” you insist.

“And the Duchess?” Steve queries.

You bite your lip and drop your gaze for a moment.

Steve lets out a teasing but incredulous laugh. “She already knows.”

“She suspects. But you know she knows everything - she is the one who said something to me a few weeks back to get me questioning my condition myself.”

Steve shakes his head. “Unsurprising, really.”

“You have no idea,” you laugh.

Steve is pensive for a moment. “Did you say a few weeks ago?”

“Mhmm,” you nod.

He searches your face, and you try briefly to hold back a smile. Your brilliant king is putting pieces into place.

“Spring solstice, in the forest…”

“I was only hesitantly starting to think I may be with child then.”

There is no unease in his face, only love.

His hand splays protectively over your stomach once more. "I swear to you both, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy."

You place your hand over his, intertwining your fingers. "I know you will. You're already an incredible husband, a stalwart king, and you'll be an amazing father."

Steve's eyes twinkle with mischief as he pulls you closer once more. "Speaking of being an amazing husband," he murmurs, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "perhaps I should demonstrate my devotion once more?" His hand slides teasingly along your thigh.

A shiver of anticipation runs through you. "Oh? And how do you propose to do that, my king?" you tease, running your fingers through his beard.

"Well," Steve says, rolling you onto your back and hovering over you, "I believe it starts something like this..." He dips his head, pressing a trail of hot kisses down your neck and across your collarbone.

You gasp as his lips find a particularly sensitive spot, your body arching into his touch, fingers tangling in his hair. “My, my, Your Majesty, you are insatiable."

He grins, pulling you closer. "Only for you, my love. Always for you." Steve captures your lips in yet another searing kiss, rolling you onto your back. His body covers yours, warm and solid, as his hands begin to roam. You arch into him, always ready to be taken by this man, nay, yearning for it.

As Steve's hands roam your body, igniting sparks of pleasure everywhere they touch, a sudden wave of nausea washes over you. You break the kiss abruptly, turning your head to the side and taking deep breaths.

"My love?" Steve's voice is filled with concern as he pulls back slightly, his hand gently cupping your cheek. "Are you alright?"

You nod, still focusing on your breathing. "Just a moment of queasiness," you manage to say. "It will pass."

Steve immediately shifts, gathering you into his arms and cradling you against his chest. His hand rubs soothing circles on your back as he presses a tender kiss to your forehead. "Perhaps we should rest a while longer," he suggests softly.

You nestle into his embrace, feeling the nausea slowly subside. "I'm sorry," you murmur against neck.

“Do not apologize, your body is engaged in an arduous and demanding task.”

You take a few deep breaths. “Perhaps some water?” you ask.

Steve’s action is immediate, gently extricating himself from you and swiftly crossing the room to pour a glass of water from the crystal pitcher nearby. He presses it into your hands, and resumes his spot next to you as you drink.

“Better?” he asks once you have finished sipping down the cool and calming liquid.

“Mostly,” you answer, reaching to set the glass on the bedside table.

“What else do can I do?” he asks.

Truly feeling the nausea melted away, you turn back to him, an impish grin on your face, and reach for his hand. Steve's eyes darken with renewed desire as you guide his hand between your legs. He groans softly, feeling your warmth and wetness against his fingers. "Are you certain?" he asks, his voice husky with want but tinged with concern.

You nod, pulling him closer. "I am. I want you, Steve. Always."

He needs no further encouragement. His skilled fingers begin to stroke and tease, drawing soft gasps and moans from your lips. You arch into his touch, craving more. Steve's mouth finds yours in a passionate kiss as his fingers continue their ministrations.

Your hands roam his body, tracing the familiar planes of muscle and sinew. When you reach between his legs, you find him already hard and ready. Steve groans into your mouth as you wrap your hand around him, stroking slowly.

"Please," you breathe against his lips. "I need-”

A soft knock at the door interrupts you both. You freeze, eyes wide, as Steve calls out, "Who is it?"

"It's Lord Barnes, Your Majesty," comes the muffled reply.

Steve withdraws the two fingers that were buried in your cunt, and you whine softly at the loss of him.

"I apologize for the early intrusion,” he explains, “but there's an urgent matter requiring your attention."

Steve groans softly, resting his forehead against yours. "Of course there is," he mutters, then calls out, "One moment, Bucky."

You can't help but giggle softly at his frustrated expression. "Duty calls, my love," you whisper, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

He shoots you a playful glare before nipping at your jaw. "Don't move," he whispers. "I'll be right back."

Steve rolls out of bed, hastily pulling on a robe. You admire the view as he crosses the room, enjoying the way the fabric clings to his muscular form. He throws you a knowing smirk over his shoulder before opening the door just enough to speak with Bucky.

You can't make out their hushed conversation, but you see Steve's posture stiffen slightly. Whatever the matter is, it's serious enough to warrant immediate attention. You sit up, pulling the sheet up to cover your you. After a few moments, Steve nods and Bucky leaves.

Steve closes the door methodically, and his brow is furrowed in worry and thought as he turns back to look at you.

“Hydras forces are mobilizing near our northern border. Our scouts report they may be planning an incursion within the fortnight."

You are no stranger to the bloody and barbaric history Hydra has unleashed on many kingdoms over the last century. They showed no preference for where they tried to conquer, striking at kingdoms all across the continent. They moved swiftly, always emerging out of the unknown and shifting shadows they grew in, rising up in violence, brutality, and chaos. They tried to mount a campaign against your grandfather’s kingdom before you were born, and luckily, with the aid of allies, he was able to fight back and send them back.

They had struck many others before, and had struck twice on the other side of he continent since then.

Now, it seems, they were here.

“I must-”

“Yes,” you nod. “You must act with all wisdom and haste. Go.”

He nods solemnly, turning to go.

Steve hesitates for a moment, his hand on the door handle. He turns back to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of love, concern, and determination. In three long strides, he's back at your side, cupping your face in his hands.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "Both of you."

Before you can respond, his lips are on yours, soft yet urgent. Steve's kiss is deep and passionate, conveying all the words left unspoken between you. His fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer as if he's trying to memorize every detail of this moment. The rough texture of his beard against your skin, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours. You melt into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pour all your love and support into it.

When Steve finally pulls away, his eyes are dark with emotion. He rests his forehead against yours for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"I love you too," you whisper, your voice wavering only slightly.

"I'll return as soon as I can," he promises softly. His hand drifts down to rest briefly on your stomach, a gesture that makes your heart swell with emotion.

You nod, your hand coming up to caress his cheek. "Be safe, my love. We'll be waiting for you."

Steve's gaze lingers for a moment before he straightens up, then turns away with visible reluctance. But his steps grow purposeful and full of determination as he strides towards the door. The air around him seems to shift and crackle with raw power, his posture regal and commanding as his shoulders square and his jaw clenches. By the time he reaches the door, he has transformed into the king revered and respected by so many - every inch of him radiating authority and strength.

You are no fool, you know he’s walking into dangerous paths, and though you are fearful of the threat and how it will play out over the days and possibly weeks ahead, there is a fire of hope that you will guard and fan the flames of because you believe in him.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

OKAY

I have vague plot points that I did intend on incorporating later in this collection, but THIS HYDRA ONE WAS NEWS TO ME! I thought we were just in store for a nice pregnancy news sharing morning, and then BAM, the muse was like, "YOU WANT SURPRISE NEWS, HERE'S SOME SURPRISE NEWS!" Definitely threw a wrench into my original plans! BUT HYDRA GOTTA HYDRA, AS THE KIDS SAY. no, they don't, they don't say that...

READ THE NEXT PART: COMING SOON read more of the Cedar Trees AU

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

#steve rogers #steve rogers smut #royal au #steve rogers x reader #chris evans characters #royal steve rogers #aspen wrote something #cedar trees au #female reader #tw: pregnancy #2200 followers celebration

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chvoswxtch · 10 months ago

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Court baby i've waiting for this moment! I have this idea for a fic living rent free in my head. Its Frank x fem!reader. They were in a very cozy and confy moment when the snap happened and reader was blipped! You could write how Frank deald with those five years and with reader coming back. With a lot of angst moments and flufly and maybe spicy after she comes back. I would love if you accept this request! Thank you, I love you ❤️

i'm not gonna lie to you, the blip is my least favorite marvel storyline, but I love you so I put myself and frank through it just for you 🖤

I would say sorry that i'm about to emotionally wreck you but in my defense, you did ask for this so...enjoy or don't

warning: swearing, mentions of blood, violence, guns, & alcohol, heavy angst, very brief allusion to suicide (blink and you miss it) word count: 4.1k

the blip.

A split second. That’s how quickly Frank lost you. He turned his back for a second to refill his mug of coffee, and when he turned back around, you had vanished seemingly into thin air. At first he thought maybe you had gone back into the bedroom to grab a sweater or something. It had been a bit chilly in the kitchen, and you were always cold. But then a few seconds turned into a few minutes, and Frank didn’t hear any shuffling or soft footsteps. He didn’t hear anything at all. The crisp silence had an icy sense of dread trickling down his spine, and when he didn’t hear your sweet voice responding to his cautious calls of your name, he went into a full blown panic.

You were gone.

Year One.

This wasn’t happening again. It couldn’t be. There was no way he had survived losing Maria and the kids just to find you, to let your endless patience and irrevocable empathy fill the gaping void in his chest, only to lose you too. It had to be some kind of cruel joke. Frank didn’t consider himself a good man; he was well aware of and acquainted with his demons. But he didn’t deserve this.

Did he?

It was forty-eight hours before anyone even knew what happened. One giant asshole snapped his fingers, and half the universe’s population ceased to exist. Frank had stopped believing in God a lifetime ago, and he certainly didn’t believe in aliens or otherworldly creatures. He had seen first hand during his time in the Marines that mankind was the real monster. But it didn’t matter that he didn’t believe in it, because it happened, and not even the fucking Avengers could stop it. Hell, half of them were gone too.

Two weeks after the snap, news broke that Thanos had been killed, and that the Infinity Stones were destroyed, but the remaining members of the Avengers were trying to come up with a way to bring everyone back. For months Frank was glued to every news outlet, frantically waiting for even the smallest of updates. Anything was something. He refused to believe that the snap was permanent. The Avengers were going to find a way to bring everyone back. They had to.

Your pillowcase had stopped smelling like your shampoo, and Frank found himself using it and your body wash just to keep your scent on the sheets. He burned your favorite candles and read your favorite books. He wouldn’t stay gone longer than fifteen minutes in case you finally came home. He wanted to be there when you did. Frank kept himself busy with little projects around the house, things that you had mentioned changing or updating that he had promised he would get around to and never did. Frank swore to himself when you came home, things would be different.

He would take that trip you wanted to go on. He’d take you to the shelter to pick out a dog like you had been talking about. Maybe you two would finally start a family. Whatever you wanted, he’d give you. He’d find a way to give you the goddamn moon and every single star in the sky if you wanted them.

As soon as you came home.

But then a year went by, and nothing had changed. The anniversary of the snap came and went, and everyone seemed to give up hope on bringing everyone back, or they just decided to move on and accept that no one was coming back.

But Frank couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He refused to believe you were really gone.

Year Two.

The worst part about the snap was that Frank couldn’t collect his vengeance in blood like he had with his family. The one who took you from him was already dead, and even if he hadn’t been, Frank had no way of reaching him. Thanos was a Titan, someone who was revered as a God to those that followed him, and Frank was just a man. A man poisoned with rage and an insatiable thirst for revenge. So, he did what he was good at. He punished. Even though half the universe’s population was gone, that didn’t mean there weren’t still monsters left on Earth.

Frank killed without mercy or prejudice. There was no sin too harmless for his wrath. His fists collided with skin and bone until there was nothing left but ivory fragments tainted crimson and torn flesh. He didn’t stop, not even when his destructive blows caused his own knuckles to crack. It had gotten to the point where he hardly reached for a gun anymore unless he absolutely had to. He preferred to use his hands or serrated steel. He wanted to inflict every ounce of pain that he felt inside on whoever was stupid enough to get in his way.

It was like he wasn’t even mentally present anymore. His conscience had been shut off somehow, and all that was left was a relentless killing machine. Whenever he ran out of targets in the city, he moved on to hunt in the next one, and the next one, and the next one. He lived primarily out of his van, or whatever dingy motel he came across on the road. He hadn’t stepped foot in your home in almost a year. He couldn’t. It was haunted by your memory, and he couldn’t desecrate the home you two had made together with what he had become.

You would be ashamed of him. You would be disgusted and horrified by the things he had done. That thought echoed in his head as he watched the water continue to run red while he stood under the weak spray of the shower head. He didn’t know what town or even what state he was in. He didn’t know what day of the week it was, or what month it was. He didn’t care. All he knew was that you were gone, and he had nothing left.

Nothing left but the white hot fury that infected his veins and had him seeking out blood like water in the desert.

Year Three.

Frank couldn’t visit you, not like he could Maria and the kids. He couldn’t even have the closure of burying you, because there wasn’t a body. There was no final resting place for you, and he didn’t think that was fucking fair. Today was your birthday, and Frank had been drowning himself in whiskey trying to dilute the painful memories that played in his head like a haunting home movie.

The angelic sound of your voice as you read him whatever book your nose was buried in that week, your fingers slipping through his dark tresses while he laid his head on your chest and listened in pure content. The feeling of your soft lips on his heated skin and delicate noises of pleasure as your bodies connected like they were made for each other. Your melodic laughter, the silkiness of your skin, slow dancing in the living room with the moon acting as a spotlight.

All the words he never said. All the promises he didn’t get to keep. All the dreams that wouldn’t come true.

Somehow Frank found himself in a church. He couldn’t remember the last time he stepped foot in one. Maybe it was Sunday school back when his parents still forced him to go. He had stumbled in, his heavy boots thudding along the aisle, the only other sound coming from the amber liquid sloshing around in the half empty bottle in his hand. He stopped when he got to the front, looking up at the stained glass depictions of angels, until his weary eyes landed on the savior that was nailed to the giant cross.

Frank glared at him for several minutes before hurling the half empty bottle right at the head of the statue, causing a firework explosion of shimmering shards of glass to rain over the altar and various candles that had been lit for loved ones that had passed on. His rough voice boomed throughout the empty space.

“You son of a bitch! Why didn’t you take me, huh? Why not me? She ain’t never done a goddamn thing wrong. I’m the one you want. I’m the one that deserves it. I’m the goddamn killer here, huh? I’m the fuckin’ Punisher. So you bring her back, and you take me!”

Frank started grabbing bibles from the pews and hurling them at the statue with all his strength. In his inebriated state, some of them flew right past the statue and knocked over other small figurines and candlesticks. He let out a guttural war cry every time he threw a new one, and by the time he ran out of steam, he was panting heavily, and tears had formed in his eyes.

Dropping to his knees, he looked up at the melancholic face of the statue that matched his own, and he did something he hadn’t done in years.

He prayed.

“Please. Please, just bring her back. I’ll take her place…I won’t fight…just…just bring her back. I’m beggin’ you…I’ll do whatever it takes, alright? Just…you can’t…you can’t do this to me again. You can’t. I may deserve it, but she don’t…okay so just…just…”

Frank was tired. Three years without you was too long. He hadn’t been able to find the peace that he had found after Maria and the kids. He spent a year waging war on everyone, and it did nothing. He spent the last few months drowning himself in booze, and it didn’t help. Nothing helped, and there was nothing to keep him going. You were gone, and you weren’t coming back, so what the hell was he still getting out of bed every morning for?

Reaching into the pocket of his coat, Frank pulled out a revolver and stared down at it. There was only one bullet in the chamber, and it wasn’t meant for anyone but him. If God wouldn’t bring you back, then he would go to you.

As soon as he cocked the hammer, a familiar voice sounded behind him.

“You don’t wanna do that, Frank.”

Turning his head to look over his shoulder, Frank squinted his blurry eyes before turning back around, shaking his head with a dry laugh.

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me. Half the goddamn universe gets wiped out, and I get stuck with the fuckin’ altar boy.”

“Frank-”

“Mind your fuckin’ business, Red. Just cause there’s only one bullet in this chamber don’t mean I won’t handle your ass.”

Matt let out a deep exhale through his nose as he took a few cautious steps towards where Frank was on his knees in front of the altar.

“You’re drunk-”

“And you’re fuckin’ relentless. Go home.”

“Look, whoever you lost-”

“Whoever I lost? I lost everyone, Red!”

Matt didn’t flinch when Frank suddenly rose from his knees and stormed over towards him, his loud voice booming in the silence as they stood barely an inch apart. Matt cocked his head to the side slightly, his lips pursed as he grit his teeth.

“You think you’re the only one that’s lost everyone you’ve ever cared about, Frank?”

“Then what the hell are you waitin’ on, huh? You too much of a fuckin’ pussy to do it yourself, huh? That it? You need me to do it for you?”

Matt carefully reached out to place his hand on Frank’s arm, lowering the gun that was in his hand while he spoke in a calm voice.

“I don’t want to die, Frank. And I don’t think you want to either. You just want the pain to stop. But if you do this, it’s permanent, and you’ll never know if she came back.”

Frank shook his head and blew a puff of hot air out of his lips, his dark brows scrunching up in pure annoyance and frustration.

“She ain’t comin’ back-”

“You don’t know that. She’s not dead, Frank. She’s lost. Maybe she’s with Karen and Foggy. Frank, someone came down from another planet and wiped out half the universe. Is it so crazy to think that could be undone?”

The anger that was simmering inside Frank from Matt’s intrusion seemed to be burning through the alcohol in his system, and Matt’s question was igniting a tiny ember of hope that Frank wasn’t prepared to tend to. His body physically deflated as he dropped his head between his broad shoulders. There was a heavy tide of tears on his bottom lash line threatening to flood at any moment.

“Don’t do that.”

“You have to have faith, Frank-“

“I don’t, Red.”

“I do.”

Frank didn’t know when Matt managed to slip the revolver from his grasp, but he didn’t feel the weight of a permanent decision in his palm anymore. Matt had planted a tiny seed of hope, and what if’s were taking over Frank’s brain like wild ivy.

What if there was a chance you could come back? Matt had a point, you weren’t dead. Not really. Even if the probability of it happening was one in a million, didn’t Frank owe you the same unwavering patience you had always shown him?

“Look Frank, just…give me a year. One year to show you things can be different. If you still want to make that call in a year, I won’t stop you. I’ll leave you alone. But Frank…you’ve gotten through this once before. You can do this again. If not for yourself, just try for her.”

A year. A year was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Frank had already been without you for three years now.

What was one more?

Year Four.

Matt’s apartment was fucking obnoxious due to that goddamn billboard across the street, but it was better than the shitty motels Frank had been staying in. He still couldn’t step foot in the home he had shared with you. It had been three years now, and even though he wasn’t fully convinced you could come back, he couldn’t let it go. Everything that was you was there, and if he sold the house, that meant every trace of you and your existence was gone.

Matt had one rule for Frank staying with him; no killing. For a week, Frank lounged on the couch trying to figure out what to do with himself. He would start to read a book, but could never get more than a few pages because he remembered how much you loved to read, and then he would get stuck staring at the pages while memories of you played on loop in his head. There wasn’t a TV because Matt didn’t have use for one, and Frank didn’t care to watch anything anyway. It didn’t take long for Frank to go stir crazy. He had never been good at staying idle.

While Matt was out making the world a better place, Frank had managed to find a construction job. Busting down walls all day long allowed him to get his pent up anger out while not breaking Matt’s golden rule. Most days it felt like Frank was on autopilot. He woke up, went to the job site, smashed a sledgehammer through a wall until his hands bled, came home, tried to sleep, inevitably had a nightmare about losing you, and laid on the couch staring blankly up at the ceiling until the sun rose.

Every single day was a repeat of the last until they started to blur together. Frank didn’t speak to anyone at the job sites. He didn’t speak to anyone at all. Between Matt’s busy court schedule and his nightly patrols, they didn’t see each other often, and even when they were home at the same time, Frank still hardly spoke to him. He wasn’t sleeping, he barely ate, and on the days he had off, he didn’t leave the couch. He felt like a hollow shell of the man he used to be.

Matt knew what he was going through. Hell, he had been there himself after the second time he lost Elektra. He knew what it felt like to lose the person you loved most in this world, and that had happened to Frank twice now. He did his best to be patient, but after four months, he couldn’t take it anymore. Matt was fortunate that he’d had people that helped him combat his depression to find his way back to himself, but Frank didn’t have a soul in his corner.

Except for Matt.

And even though Frank wasn’t shy about not wanting Matt’s help, Matt didn’t care. Frank could be stubborn, but he didn’t have the energy or the drive to match Matt’s stubbornness, and Matt used that to his advantage. He was relentless in pushing Frank to participate in life again. He purposely antagonized Frank, even if it meant being reduced to a human punching bag, because that meant Frank was still in there somewhere.

Matt started small in getting him out of the apartment, like guilt tripping Frank into joining him on trips to the grocery store.

“You’re not gonna help your blind roommate get groceries? You know, a lot of items don’t come with braille labels. So when I die because I accidentally put bleach in my coffee instead of creamer, you have to say nice things about me at my funeral.”

“You don’t need labels, Red. You got that goddamn bloodhound nose. Would you stop lookin’ at me like that? Jesus fuckin’ Christ, fine. Get your fuckin’ jacket and let’s go.”

After a while, he even managed to get Frank to join him at Fogwell’s from time to time.

“No wonder you became a goddamn lawyer. All you know how to do is fuckin’ argue, makes sense you made a livin’ outta it.”

“I’m not arguing, Frank. If we got in the ring, you would lose. That’s a fact. You don’t know how to box, you just know how to run at people and slam them into things. And you’re too bulky to move as fast as me. None of that is an argument, it’s a simple observation.”

“Why don’t you observe your ass in that ring so I can shut you the fuck up, Red.”

The more time they spent together, and the more Frank put in an effort to move forward one step at a time, the less empty he felt. The nightmares still came every so often, and there were days where the weight of your absence was too much for him to bear, but for the first time in four years, he didn’t feel so hopeless.

He could think about you without breaking down. He could see something that reminded him of you, and it warmed his heart instead of ripping it out. He had finally reached a point where he had slowly crawled out of the deep pit of grief that he had been digging for the past four years.

As much as he hated to admit it, Matt had helped him find a semblance of peace.

Year Five.

The sound of a dog barking caught Frank’s attention. He pulled his head out from under the hood of his truck, looking over at the grey and white pitbull that was standing a few feet away from the front door of the house you and Frank had lived in together that he’d finally moved back into six months ago. He glanced between the front door and the dog with his thick brows furrowed.

“What is it, Daisy?”

The dog turned her head when she heard Frank’s voice, the movement so fast it made her long velvet ears flop. She turned her attention back to the door and continued to bark. Something inside had caught her attention. Eyeing the front door warily, Frank rubbed his grease stained hands off on a small rag and walked over towards where Daisy was, kneeling down beside her to gently scratch that spot between her ears that she loved.

“Hey, shh shh shh. C’mon now, what’s got you so worked up, huh? What do you think is inside, huh? You smellin’ that-”

The sound of the front door opening caught Frank’s attention, and he instantly snapped his head in the direction of it. All of a sudden, his warm brown eyes went wide, and time seemed to freeze in that very moment.

“Sweetheart?”

His quiet whisper was dripped in disbelief. There you were, looking exactly the same as the day you had vanished, looking between Frank and Daisy with an expression of surprise and perplexment.

“Frank?”

God, your voice. It had been five years since he had last heard it. That was all the confirmation he needed that this was real. You were real. You were really home.

Without wasting a second, Frank stood and ran over towards you, tears filling up his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your frame and hugged you as tightly as physically possible. His heart was thrashing against his ribcage, and he was terrified this was just a vivid dream, but then he inhaled the scent of your shampoo intermingled with your perfume, felt your hands gently pressing against his back, and heard your soft angelic laughter.

“Frankie…baby…you’re crushing me.”

Frank pulled back only slightly, bringing his large hands up to cup your face to study your features, taking in every single inch of you. He caught the way you frowned softly, looking up at him in pure concern when thick tears streamed down his cheeks. You lifted your hand to delicately brush them away with the featherlight touch of your fingers.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You’re really here.”

“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? Baby, why are you so upset?”

As you ran your hands through his long grown out curls, a crease of bewilderment nestled in between your brows when you took in his appearance.

“Wait…what happened to your hair? It was just short five seconds ago…and you didn’t have a beard. How…how did you do that? And when did we get a dog? Frank, what-”

Five seconds ago.

Is that all it was for you? Frank could see the visible disorientation on your delicate features, and he had a lot of questions of his own, but right now nothing mattered but you. He leaned in and captured your lips in a deep kiss, pouring every emotion he had felt in the past five years into it. He kissed you like the world could end at any moment, because for him it did the day you vanished.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a deep exhale of relief.

“You…you were gone, sweetheart. You were gone a long time…a long goddamn time.”

“Gone? What-”

“I’ll explain everythin’, I promise. Just…just give me a minute, please. Just let me hold you for a minute, can you do that for me, baby? Please?”

Frank had always been able to read you like a book, and he could tell by the look in your eyes that you weren’t just confused. Hearing you had been gone for a long time infused you with a sense of panic and uncertainty. But you trusted Frank, and you knew whatever hard truth he was going to tell you, he wouldn’t let you go through it alone.

“Okay.”

As Frank embraced you again, you suddenly felt a pair of paws on your back. Glancing over your shoulder, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the happy dog wagging its tail while looking between you and Frank. Reaching down, you gently pet the side of her face with a soft smile.

“Hi there, precious.”

“Daisy.”

Glancing up at Frank, your lips parted slightly when Frank told you her name. A soft smile covered his lips, the first smile to do so in five years. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear slowly.

“You always said if we got a dog and it was a girl, you wanted to name her Daisy.”

Tears welled up along your bottom lash line as you looked up at Frank, a gentle smile covering your lips. After a moment, you glanced away from Frank to look at Daisy again, letting out a soft laugh.

“I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Daisy.”

Frank gave your waist a light squeeze, leaning in to press a soft lingering kiss to your cheek.

“And we’ve been waitin’ a long time for you. Welcome home, sweetheart.”

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess @kdogreads @heimtathurs @mars-rants-a-lot @casa-boiardi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @hazallem @avencol @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @ninejlovebot @purrrfect @pennylovey @firesunflamed @oscarisaacsleftknee @ameliaswife @Vane28282 @kmc1989 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @utterlynuts

#frank castle #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle request #frank castle fic #the punisher #the punisher request #the punisher fic #matt murdock #daredevil

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f1rodrigo · 9 months ago

Text

ᡣ𐭩 valentine's day with f1 boys ᡣ𐭩

summary: valentine's day posts celebrating love with your favorite formula one boy. featuring: lando norris, charles leclerc, and daniel ricciardo ❤︎‬ a/n: well, it's two days after valentine's i had this idea pretty late & it took me longer than expected! but here it is nonetheless! hope you enjoy! for anyone waiting on my series to continue i am so so very sorry there hasn't been an update in so long. break was busy and i feel like i haven’t not been busy since then. not sure when an update will come but i can promise you it will at some point<3.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 892,619 others

yourusername wish i could express how much better life is with you in it. thank you for loving me i promise to keep on loving you right back, this valentine's day and all the rest. happy valentine's day my love<3

view all 3,212 comments

maxfewtrell just threw up actually

⤷ yourusername shut up you know you love us

⤷ maxfewtrell 🦗🦗🦗🦗

⤷ landonorris your jealously is showing mate

pietra.pilao awwww love you both sm

⤷ yourusername 😙😙 love u more sweet p

landonorris the last photo... was that necessary

⤷ yourusername absolutely

landonorris loving you is the easiest thing i've ever done

⤷ user1 just gonna walk into an open flame don't mind me

landonorris happy valentine's day baby i love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

⤷ yourusername i don't think that so was long enough :/

⤷ landonorris sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

⤷ yourusername i guess that'll do

⤷ user2 literally how could you not love them

riabish the cutest couple ever 🫶🏻

⤷ yourusername ria!!! ily

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

yourusername added to their story

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc, and 671,910 others

yourusername no doubt that i am the luckiest girl in the world. to love you is the greatest joy of my life. happy valentine's day charles, i love you so much 🫂

view all 2,109 comments

charles_leclerc mon amour, i am the lucky one. i love you even more. happy valentine's 😙

⤷ user1 "i love you even more" hahahahaa when i take a long walk off a short pier than what

⤷ user2 real 🫠

charles_leclerc the last slide........

⤷ yourusername am i not allowed to profess my love for my boyfriend

⤷ charles_leclerc well when you put it like that

⤷ yourusername thinking of getting it printed on a shirt tbh, new race day fit

⤷ charles_leclerc now let's not get ahead of ourselves.....

⤷ yourusername too late, arriving in a week 🥰

⤷ user3 don't be shy share with the rest of us......

⤷ user4 omg new charles merch just dropped

user5 literally name a hotter couple....... you can't

lewishamilton ❤️❤️❤️❤️

⤷ yourusername hope you enjoyed your valentines lewis<3

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

yourusername added to their story

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

liked by danielricciardo and 1,291,819 others

yourusername danny, you make everyday feel like valentine's day. you never, and i mean never fail to make me smile. to know you is to love you. let's just do this forever ok? 💌

view all 2,871 comments

danielricciardo yn, forever isn't nearly enough. i love you so much happy valentine's💖

⤷ user1 "forever isn't nearly enough" i'm choking on my tears

danielricciardo have to say i've never looked better than in that last photo

⤷ yourusername have to say i absolutely agree

maxverstappen1 happy valentine's day @danielricciardo

⤷ yourusername MAX STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY MAN

⤷ maxverstappen1 can't steal what was mine first 😁

⤷ danielricciardo ladies, ladies there's enough of me to go around

⤷ maxverstappen1 who are you calling a lady-

⤷ user2 glad to know maxiel is alive and well

⤷ user3 PLS i know yn is tired of both their dumbasses

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

yourusername added to their story

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .°

find my sweet relief series here!

#lando norris #formula 1 #formula one #f1 2024 #lando norris imagine #lando norris x you #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #valentines day #lando norris x reader #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #charles leclerc imagine

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xoxoemynn · 11 months ago

Text

For OFMD Tumblr friends who want a S3 and are scared of Twitter

First, no judgment from me. I very much get it. I resisted Twitter for a long time, and even though I'm now a bit more comfortable on it, it's still not my Fandom Home. There are a TON of valid reasons not to be on Twitter, but if you REALLY want to keep OFMD visible right now and help its chances of returning for a third season, Twitter is the best place to do it. Like it or not, Twitter is still the best social media platform for raising awareness and for instant news updates.

Tumblr posts don't make headlines. Topics that have been trending on Twitter do. And if we want this show to come back, we need to make OFMD impossible to ignore.

By now you've probably seen just how close we came to a S3, and if you're like me, you are RAGING and donning your battle jacket. But I get it can be intimidating to get on Twitter for the first time, so I thought I'd address some common anxieties I see. I'll put below a cut because this got a bit long, but I promise it's a quick read.

I don't know what to say! Where do I even start? That's okay! You don't have to create your own tweets (although it's great if you do). Amplifying other people's posts is also important. Go ahead and like/retweet/reply to other people's posts. This may also help you get an idea of what you may like to say in your own tweets.

Hashtags...yes? Yes! Although don't use too many or you may get flagged as a bot. The biggest one that seems to be emerging is #SaveOFMD. Other popular ones are #RenewAsACrew, #RenewOurFlagMeansDeath, and of course, #OFMD and #OurFlagMeansDeath.

Should I just be tagging all the streaming services? Per @renewasacrew, no. It's counterproductive. You'll want to tag one streamer at a time and be specific. Below is an example of a tweet I made the other day -- use specific reasons why that that particular streamer may benefit from picking up OFMD.

I'm scared. People are mean. Yeah, people are mean. But I will say the vibes over at OFMD Twitter are currently the best I've ever seen them. People seem to have united for the greater good and are being overwhelmingly positive and just trying to do whatever we can to save the show. (That said, again, I already had a pretty curated feed, and was very liberal with blocking users/terms I didn't want to see, but I've been able to spend so much more time in the For You tab than I ever have without being jump scared by something.)

But I don't know anyone there! Wouldn't I just be shouting into the void? Not if you use the hashtags! Fans are being really good about following those and engaging with the tweets. Plus, [Stede voice], I'm your friend. I'm xoxoemynn over there as well, I'll follow you back and engage with any of your posts that I see. Plus, what's been REALLY lovely to see is that SO many lurkers have come out of lurkerdom to support the efforts, and they are being welcomed with open arms, so you will not be alone. Again, I am telling you, vibes? Best I've ever seen them.

I can't get sucked into another social media platform, I don't have the time. The beauty here is you don't need to spend a lot of time. I've been on Twitter more in the past week than I have in the entire year I've had an account, and I'm still only on for maybe an hour total the entire day? I open the app, I check a couple accounts, I engage with a handful of posts, and I close the app. It takes all of five minutes. It's an extremely small lift that can have a very big impact.

My bet is on Zaslav expecting us to be upset, and that there may be a day or two of outrage, but then we'd move on. I'm sure right now he's trying to convince everyone that this is a fluke, and that it'll blow over soon. Don't let him win. Keep OFMD in the news. Be loud (but polite) and make Max and other streamers take note of what a passionate, loyal fan base this show has. Make their stocks continue to drop. Make it clear this is NOT just a fluke, it is NOT business as usual. It's a BIG fuck up with lasting consequences.

Twitter, for all its sins, is the best place to do this.

Now let's get our damned show back.

#ofmd #our flag means death #renew as a crew #truly BELIEVE ME I get wanting to stay away!!#and if after we get picked up again you want to delete your account please go ahead and do that!#but this is a really easy and tangible way to show Max/other streamers #just how beloved the show is and how it would benefit them to save it #I love tumblr but it's not going to give us the kind of impact we want #it's for fans - not for external folks/key decision makers #ANYWAY I am by NO MEANS a twitter expert but I'm getting better #and I've seen some people be nervous about getting on the platform so I thought I'd try to help <3

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weediee · 4 months ago

Text

All so oblivious

HUMAN ALASTOR X FEM WIFE!READER (She/Her pronouns)

Summary: Y/N has a neighbourhood friend over, Margaret. A regular talk with some tea and cakes quickly turned into a much more sinister and bruting talk.

E/N: Thank you all for the support in the last one, really, I am so grateful. I'm very glad you all enjoy my writing - I will continue to keep everyone updated! ❤️

Trigger warnings: This story contains talk of murder, blood, and abuse and is not suitable for young audiences. Please let me know if I missed anything!

"You know, it really is unfortunate. So many young people, innocent people, suddenly going missing." Margaret said solemnly. I was standing in the kitchen, cutting an apple Danish I had made for Margaret and as I hummed quietly in response, not paying much mind to her theatrics.

"I mean, what person could go and do such heinous things to such lovely people with long lives ahead of them." She pinched the space between her brows.

I paused, the knife in my hand scraping gently across the board as it came to a halt. "It's surprising you think all these people are innocent, Marg. We really don't know." I mumbled softly.

"Innocent or not, nobody deserves to die. Especially all those young boys." Marg scoffed at my response. She had always been this way, devils advocate. It was one of the few reasons that over the years I'd begun growing a dislike for Margaret. She was too sympathetic for the wrong people.

"Those 'young boys' with 'promising futures' were nothing but abusers! Every last one of them." I spat aggressively before composing myself. "Each of them had no right wandering our streets."

Margaret's voice quickly halted, one of the rare occasions she kept quiet.

"You're disgusting." She growled, I could hear her glass being placed on my table and the sound of the wooden floors creaked as she stood up to her feet.

"Why are you so against these people being alive. It's almost as if you have something to do with this all you know?" She added onto her statement.

"Me? knowing something you all don't?" I let go of the knife, turning to face her as I leaned against the kitchen countertop. "Margaret you're being silly. You must really go home, you're probably having post partum delusions again-" I was about to step forward before she stopped me.

"Don't come near me! You had something to do with this didn't you. I've been trying to tell everybody you and Alastor are too perfect for your own good, nobody listens to me. You're sick." She yelled.

"I'm not sick, Margaret. You are the one spitting nonsense!" I screamed back, my voice raising ever so slightly above hers. "How dare you come into my home and accuse me of these crimes." I shook my head in disappointment.

I moved my hand behind me, grabbing the knife slowly. "I will hand it to you though, you are correct." I shrugged.

"W-what?" She asked softly, hands dropping to her sides and clenching into fists.

"I know, Marg. It's a shame... I really did like you, but you've always been so loud mouthed. So nosy, always in somebody else's business when it's not yours to be concerned about. Me and Al can't have that. We have a reputation to uphold." I smiled softly.

"I mean, what would the papers say if they found out?" I laughed softly.

"You're a psychotic bitch! You know that." She screamed.

I hummed, nodding my head. I glared Marg up and down, tears could be seen falling from her eyes as they formed over a glossy shine.

"Before you die, I'm going to tear that tongue out of your mouth so you never speak about me or my husband again." My smile quickly dropped into a flat line.

I was as she quickly attempted to scramble to the front door, which was unsuccessful as she tripped on the rug. I quickly ran over, flipping her in her back to look up at me.

I smiled, pulling the knife atop my head with my hands before plunging it into her chest repeatedly. Once, twice, a fourth time, a fifth, as far as twenty before I stopped counting. There Margaret laid, in a pool of what looked like melted rubies. I stood up, leaving her in her final resting spot as I carried on with my day.

Cutting the Danish, doing the laundry, pouring Alastor his whiskey for when he got home. He could deal with Margaret when he arrived, but the whole time I finished up my jobs - the only thing on my mind was "They're all so oblivious."

E/N: How do we like this one? Yay or nay? Feel free to be honest (and feel free to send ideas)

Reminder to have a dandy day everyone!

- Weedie 🌹

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yuyu1024 · 7 months ago

Text

Babe

Pairings: S.coups × y/n

Genre/tags: protective/possessive bf

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 fluff but smut, unprotected sex, pet names, cursing, semi public, handjob

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 3k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: looong time no post. ✨️I was away... got sick and mentally not doing okay... and I dont think im 100% okay yet...Its been hard but still trying my best :)

i might be coming back to writing here and there... but not consistent. Hopefully you understand...

meaning, i will be a 🐌 in updating nor posting and won't be online mostly. 🖤

(i cant promise i can jump back to the Yoongi/Suga series yet also sorry 😭 hopefully one day but not soon.)

Me writing... is depending if im okay.

Also, Thank you for the kind messages in DMs. I really do appreciate them...even tho i don't reply 🖤 pls know its very helpful.

Thank you.

P.S its been a long time since i wrote anything so.... rusty.🥲 this is my just trying to get back to it.

-----------------------------------------------------

Seungcheol, your boyfriend, texted you to meet him at school. Which surprised you the second you read it because it has been weeks since he went to school.

He has been doing special online classes these past weeks as he can't walk. Yet. He slipped while playing soccer with the boys two months ago causing an injury on his left leg. It was very painful to watch him yell in pain during that game. It was supposed to be just a fun game with his friends and you and their other friends watching but yeah, accidents happen.

"What are you doing here?" You gasp the second you enter the University clinic and saw your boyfriend sitting and chatting with the school doctor.

"Babe." He smiles and opens his arm, asking for a welcome hug

"Babe!" You squeal and immediately run and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." He mumbles lightly lifting you off the floor even he's sitting on the clinic's bed.

He never lost his strength.

"Ditto." You say and kissed him on his cheek before letting go. "Wait... why are you here?" You ask again. "He can go back to school now?" You turn to ask the doctor behind you

"He can. But I still suggest no." He folds the folder his holding and sits down on his desk. "He can walk now with crutches easily yes... but... going up and down... walking building to building to classes...." doctor shakes his head

"I'm just here to visit, babe." Cheolie says caressing your back. "To report my health to him... to let know the team..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry..." he press his lips together and giving you an apologetic look.

"I'll leave you two to talk... I have to go on a meeting now in the faculty. Just let the nurse know when you leave okay? So she can assist you with the wheel chair."

"Okay, doc. Thank you."

And as soon as the doctor leaves and shut the door close behind him, Seungcheol immediately grabs you by the waist, pull you close to his body and leans in to fully kiss you.

It feels rushed at the beginning but as soon as you find the perfect spot to lean your body weight to his, it felt smooth and just sensational. You even opened your mouth completely to let his tongue explore you.

You two haven't kissed for awhile. The rent is due.

"I missed you so much." He whisper as he pulls away to take a breather.

"This is the longest we've been away from each other..." you say as you straighten your stand

"Yeah... I got busy healing..."

"And I got busy at school... and at home..." you answer as you sit down beside him. "How are you feeling at the moment?"

"Good....well.. better now that I've kissed you." He smirks and plants a tiny kiss on your temple

"Babe..." you lean on his shoulder

"You know you always make me feel good..." he chuckles. "Also... Doc said my leg is healing pretty good..."

"That's good to hear..." you stand up once again. "So... can I--"

And before you could ask him another question about visiting him soon at home Seungcheol kisses you on your cheek and then on the back of your hand.

"Thank you for always calling me... every night... making sure to check on me... give me updates at school and being an understanding girlfriend. Even though you are tired yourself."

"I didn't do that much." You say holding his hand. "If only I could visit you personally I would..."

But you couldn't. It's not like he leaves far away from you. It's just that you wanted him to just rest. You know how he is when he sees you. He gets excited and acts everything is fine even though he is in pain.

He would probably force himself to get up when you visit him. It's kind og his thing to show off he is strong. Especially to you. He is your alpha lover.

"No...babe. just you calling has saved me from a lot of bad moods and not doing my therapies because... I'm not in the mood." He kisses your hand again.

"Well I'm glad... I could help..." you say smiling.

"And also..." he then bites his lower lip whilst smiling. You already know what he's about to say with those cheeky smirks.

"Hush..." you cover his mouth with your hand, scared that he might say it outloud and the nurse from behind the door might hear. "That's for us only..." you whisper.

He is referring to the video call sessions you do every now and then. To help him when he is... sad and horny.

"You promised... no one should know..."

"Of course..." he murmurs, his mouth is still covered by your hand. "The images are for my eyes to see and for my dick to feel only." He adds and then playfully licks your palm, making you jump a little.

"Hey!" You slap him on his shoulder

He is grinning so much. He is enjoying your reactions. "You're so adorable being shy..." he puts his arm around your waist, securing you between his legs. "My shy little fairy..." he mumbles just before he kisses you again.

You don't deny him of any sort of making out. Even at the clinic. Why woulf you? You missed him so bad too.

So bad that even his hands is skimming your body and even lifting your short A-Line skirt, exposing your bum, just to squeeze it is fine. Perfectly fine.

"Wait." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "You are wearing a skirt this short... with no protective shorts under?"

"Hmm?" You look at him, confused for a second. "Oh."

He is yout alpha, yes. And one trait of him that is very dominant is him being protective of you. He does not like anyone hurting you, being mean to you and most especially drooling over you. You are his and only his.

"What you mean oh?" He raises a brow. "Well? Why aren't you wearing one?"

You don't have a good excuse. You just forgot. Well... you have been forgetting since he have been away.

"Y/N..."

"You're now calling me by name...." you move back away a little. "I'm sorry... I have no excuse..."

"What if some maniac sees you? When you go up stairs? Or the elevator in the media building? You know its glass right? They can see... what if wind blows and..." he sighs, frustrated. "You know how most guys are."

"I know... I'm really sorry." You pout. "I didn't purposely forget it..."

You see the change in his mood. He is very possessive of you so you know that just the idea of any guy looking at you because they find you cute or have interest of being close to you and whatever, he's already on guard.

He sighs again and also he's already grabbing his crutches.

"Leaving already?" You say in the softes tone.

"Yeah..." he stands up and calls on the nurse for assistance.

"Okay..." you lower your gaze.

You are not sure how to tame your boyfriend since this time you know you are at fault for forgetting and breaking a promise you told him after he was told to stay at home.

You stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Just... call me when you get home."

"I will not call you." He says as he sits down on the wheel chair. "You're coming home with me."

"Wait. What?" You ask

The nurse enters the room and greets the two of you.

"Ready to go home?" The nurse asks

"Yes." Seungcheol smiles at her. "I have a scheduled therapy this afternoon..."

"Oh... I see... goodluck then." She says as she helps to push your boyfriend

"Y/N..." he calls your name out again.

This is the second time he called you by name. He is clearly not okay with the skirt situation. This never happened before.

***

You both arrived at his parent's house. They welcomed you and hugged you even. They thanked you for being a support system for their son even though physically you can't come because, well, they know how their son acts around you.

It's not a secret that their son is so in love with you that he's very clingy and trying to act cool and such.

"I already made food for the two of you so just reheat it if you decide to eat later."

"Oh. Thank you Mrs. Choi." You say

"It's nothing dear... also... thank you for being his care taker for tonight... we will enjoy our night on out staycation at the city." His mother says

You are stunned to hear what Mrs. Choi just said. You can't react beside just smiling and nodding. "Ah... ahm... don't worry about us... I'm going to take good care of him."

"Thank you, again." Mr. Choi says.

"We'll get going now... see you tomorrow afternoon, dear." She says to her son who is sitting in the sofa drinking his cola.

"Have fun, Mom and Dad!" He waves at them

And as soon the door shuts and you hear the car engine from outside.

"What the fuck was that?" You stomp you way towards him. "Care taker... tonight?? Babe?"

Nonchalantly he answers. "You will be staying for the night here with me... until tomorrow..."

"Why?"

"Why not?" He looks at you with a coldest stare. "Do you have any other plans? Are you meeting with anyone?"

"No..."

"And then... stay...."

"But... my parents..."

"I already told them... they are fine with it."

"When?"

"I called them earlier... before I texted you to come to the clinic."

You are in complete shock. "Cheolie..." you whine

"Now, you're calling me by name?" He raises a brow. "Why are you acting like that? It's like you don't want to stay with me."

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

You sigh. You are lost for words.

Yes you should be happy you are spending time with your boyfriend but he could've told you. You would say yes if he asked or told you.

You are just stunned maybe or confused with him doing this too since he's been being snappy at you since earlier.

"Whatever." You mumble throwing your bag to the floor and just sitting down at the chair opposite of where he's sitting.

Now you are the one in the bad mood.

"I still have the clothes and undergarments you left from last time..." he then says in a much calmer tone.

"Okay." You answer not looking at him.

You are not mad at him. You are just not happy with what he did. He probably wanted to surprise you with the idea earlier but since it got ruined during your clinic make out session. Now things are...

"Babe." He calls you

You turn your head to look at him. He looks serene now.

"Can you please come here..." he says

You get up and make your way to him, to sit down beside him.

"Not there." He says holding on to your wrist and leading you to move somewhere else. "Here..." he gestures for you to sit on top of him.

"But... your leg..."

"I can manage..." he breathes and then tugs you down so he could kiss you, cupping your face with one hand.

Your hands are now on his chest for balance support. You tried pulling away from the kiss but

"Sit..." he says in between the kiss.

And you do as he says. Kneeling down on the sofa, legs spread between his thighs, you sit down on him and slowly put your arms around his neck.

"Cheolie..." your lips part ways as you spoke and he tries to chase the kiss again but you bite your lips together. "Wait..."

"Why...?" He pouts

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" He runs his hands from your legs to your thighs and then underneath your skirt.

"You were just so cold to me... not even talking to me like I'm your girlfriend... and now you're kissing me and touching me..."

He throws his head back for a second and then sighs. "Babe, I'm sorry.... I was... well..."

"I said I'm sorry about the skirt... Don't worry. I will just wear pants starting on monday...."

"You sure?"

"Yeah... I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose. "I will just wear skirts when I'm with you."

"Really?" He raises a brow with matching smirk, biting his lower lip.

"Yeah..." you move your hips forward knowing what this tiny move will do to him. "I know you like to have easy access with me when we're together..." you softly say

He grunts as he feel you move a bit more. Rocking your hips over his erection that's sort of protected by his black jogging pants.

"I know what you're doing..." he hums

"And I know you like... what I'm doing..."

His smile goes ear to ear. "You're lucky I can't stand on my own yet... If I could..."

"What will you do?"

"Carry you over my shoulders and spread you on top of my bed..."

"And...?" You put your forehead to his.

"And...fuck you 'till dawn..."

Just the thought made you horny and wanting him. But since he can't do what he usually does to you, you decide to handle this on your own.

"You can still fuck me..." you say, grinning. "We have all night till tomorrow to find a way... a position you want me to be in."

"Fucking hell, babe." He grunts, sounding excited and turned on.

You adjust your position, making sure you can access him easily. Him meaning his long veiny length that's already leaking.

"Shit! Ah!" His mouth drops the second you hold onto him. His eyebrows is showing how he's loving the way you stroke and pump him. "Babe..." he moans. "Babe... aaaaahhh..." he throws his head back, his hands on his hair, trying to hold on to reality coz he is floating in heaven right now.

"Should I... let the tip touch me?"

"Touch... you?" He looks at you, brows furrowed from the high.

You already removed your panties off without him noticing.

"Yes... like this...." you then adjust your position back on top of him and lowered yourself just enough for the tip of his dick feel your entrance.

"Babe, fuck!" He snarls throwing his head back. "Your so damn wet already..."

You let him feel the wetness for awhile before you ease him in you.

"Holy... shiiiiit!"

"Ngggeeeaaah..." you breathe in as you suck him in whole.

"You're doing great babe." He pushes the hair off your face. "Don't rush it... just... feel it... feel me..."

When he's completely in you, you didn't move. You just hugged your man and took a breather.

"I can't believe my little fairy is being so daring..."

"Because I want to give you what you want... what you need..." you mumble on his neck.

"Babe, you know I can wait till I'm healed and ready to fuck you..."

"I know..." you look him in his eyes, "but I miss it too..."

"You do?"

You nod. "Us video calling... while we... you know... is not enough... I thought it was enough... but when I saw you earlier... I really did missed you more than I can imagine."

"You miss my dick?" He tease

"Babe!" You hide your face on his neck again.

"Ugh..." he suddenly moans. "Wow. I didn't know you get tigher when I tease you."

Seungcheol starts to move his hips a little, to ease dipper into you.

"Ah..." you exhale shakily. "Cheolie...hmmm...."

"You like that?"

"I do."

Then you start to move yourself.

You leaned back a little, pushing forward and pulling backward in motion to meet his slow but deep thrusting.

"Cheolie..." you cry his name as you feel like reaching your climax.

"Just let it go..."

"Fuck!" You throw your head back, panting and shaking. "Come with me..." you say, "come....with me..." you clentch more down there, making him feel the tightness.

"But babe..." biting on his lips, hissing and trying to control himself. "We don't have condoms."

"I don't care." You lean in for a sloppy kiss. "Come with me. I need to see you... melt with me..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Babe..."

"Please..." you beg, "I want to feel it..."

"Fuck it!" He snarls as he goes to squeeze your ass under your skirt as he picks up the pace with you

It's amazing how strong he is. Even with an injured leg he could lift his hips to meet yours.

"Aaah!!" You moan as loudly as you can as you felt something in you pop.

He growls as soon as feel his length starts to release and feel the warmth in you.

"Fuck babe..." he is panting. "Our first time you being on top..."

Embarassed after your orgasm, you hug your man and hide your face again. "I only did what I know and can..."

"You did amazing... your handjob is what I needed to get me into the a frenzy." Then he kisses the top of your head. "I fucking love you... whatever you do... makes me love you even more..."

"I love you too..." you go for a kiss again. But then burst into a giggle when you felt him move. "You are still in me... I can feel you."

A smile spread over his lips, "Maybe we should continue this on my bed. I can do other positions and pump more in you if you want."

You grin, blushing. "I'd love to."

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