#I've been smiling and sweet an thoroughly beaten blowing my chance

[verfound]

WIPWed: Festering Folder Edition: Legally Blonde AU

@mintaka14 asked about the Legally Blonde AU, which the Disco witnessed the birth of and was briefly mentioned in the notes for "Move Like Jagged". So. Yeah. This is the latest crack AU I've been working on. 😂

See, for my last project for those unit classes I had to take for work, I was talking about different reasons conflict can pop up in your kitchen and how to deal with them. And one of the ways to deal with conflict is by staying positive - you can't control what other people do/what happens, but you can control how you react to it. And that got "Positive" from the Legally Blonde musical in my head, which got me thinking who would be who in a LB AU, and...it all just ran away from me so hard. We have a Plunny Adoption channel in the Disco, and I dropped it there because I did not want another WIP, and the next thing I knew I was 1700 words into the Bend & Snap scene and no one else had adopted the plunny come on guys. 😂

So. Yeah. This is happening. I'm maybe a third of the way through the outline with about three scenes fully written out. 😂

The setup: Marinette is an aspiring fashion designer in her senior year at UCLA. Her life is all set up: she's going to graduate and marry her perfect boyfriend Adrien Agreste, who's on his way to becoming a lawyer and future president of the United States. Everything's perfect until he suddenly dumps her, claiming he needs someone more serious. He moves back out East to start at Harvard in the fall, where he's now dating childhood friend and fellow Snobby Harvard Girl Kagami Tsurugi. Marinette realizes that if she's gonna get her man back, she's got to be someone serious, too - someone lawerly! Someone who wears black when nobody's dead! So Marinette follows him out to Harvard, where she's...let's face it. The laughing stock of the school. But with a little determination (and the help of her super sweet TA Luka Couffaine, who's convinced she's not as Dumb as the others paint her) she's going to show everyone she belongs there - and win her Adrien back in the process!

So Marinette's Elle, Adrien is Warner, Kagami is Vivian, and Luka is Emmett. I'm putting Gabriel as Callahan, with the idea that part of the pressure on Adrien is that his father is this super successful lawyer & professor at Harvard who's expecting him to follow in his footsteps. (Also there's a line in the finale of the musical that says "Warner quit / Says he makes more modeling anyhow!", so while he's at UCLA I have Adrien modeling on the side and he totally goes back to it. 😂) Mylène is Paulette and Ivan is Kyle (the UPS guy). Rose and Alya are Marinette's Delta Nu sisters/best friends, and Juleka is still Luka's sister; Rose and Alya come out and the end to cheer Marinette on at the final trial, where Rose and Juleka meet.

Jagged is Brooke. He's being accused of murdering Bob Roth, his former label owner. He's innocent, but he refuses to give Gabriel his alibi (he was...getting...botox). He was Marinette's neighbor back in LA, and she designed his favorite leather jacket - so he freaks when Marinette walks in with his Estranged Son as part of his legal team. Luka and Jagged have a...tenuous relationship. Jagged is Luka's father, and Luka used to love music/want to be a rocker. He toured with Jagged for a year or two when he was younger as his opening act, but it really disillusioned Luka to the Music Scene. So he ended up pursuing law (thinking he could get into the legal side of things, and Anarka's always in and out of jail anyway so she'll need a good lawyer?), and finds out he's good at it & really enjoys it? It wasn't the career he thought he'd have, but he's happy.

I'm still kicking stuff around & writing the outline, but that's the bare-bones. 😂 And as much as I love the LB movie, the musical is one of my favorites. There's...guh ok I'm not gonna start gushing on how perfect the musical is bc we'll be here all day. 😂 But it is absolutely perfect, and this AU is going to be a blend of the movie and the musical.

Case in point: the song "Take It Like A Man", where Elle repays Emmett by giving him a makeover. It's the scene where Emmett realizes he's fallen in love with Elle and absolutely adorable ("God, I love shopping for guys - watching them change right before my eyes!" "...stop watching me change.").

As for a scene y'all haven't seen yet...I think you've seen a handful of sentences from this one? It's all new for Tumblr, but I think I shared a few sentences on the Disco. 😂

“Hey, Luka, what are you doing tonight?”

Luka looked up, his eyebrows lifting at the smile Marinette was giving him. Her chin was propped in her hand, her eyes looking over him like…well, a little like she was undressing him, if he was honest, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.

“Er…prepping for tomorrow?” he hazarded. “Big day in court? Opening statements? Have to make sure we’re ready so my dad doesn’t swing.”

She rolled her eyes, and then she rolled her chair over to his. He jumped when she laid her hands over his.

“You’re ready,” she said. She squeezed his hand, and he swallowed thickly as she continued to look at him like that. Why did his throat suddenly feel so dry? “Can we go somewhere? I…I want to do something. To thank you. For…everything, really. Please?”

“You don’t need to thank me, Marinette,” he said, wondering what exactly she had in mind. Maybe dinner? He was getting kind of hungry, and he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t mind spending more time with her away from the law books…

“I do, though, Luka,” she said earnestly, squeezing his hand again. “You…you’re the only one who’s believed in me this entire time. You’ve done so much to help me, and…I just wanted to do something for you, too.” She took his hand and held it to her chest, pouting her lips and batting her eyes at him, and when had the heat kicked in? It was almost May – it shouldn’t be so hot in the old, draft library! “Please?”

“I…um…ok?” he finally squawked out. He cleared his throat when she hit him full-force with her mega-watt smile, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt as she squeezed his hand tighter. She gave an excited little squeal-giggle-bounce that had him smiling fondly. “What…what did you have in mind?”

“Well,” she said, releasing his hand and turning towards the table. She began gathering the files they’d scattered over the surface, tidying up. “You know I used to want to be a designer – you’ve heard Jagged go off about that coat.”

“His little frock star,” Luka snickered, and she gave him an exasperated little smile.

“If I had the time, I’d love to design you something,” she said, tapping the folders against the table to straighten them, She turned to him, hands on her hips. “But given we need you ready by tomorrow, that’s not possible. So, Luka Couffaine, I am going to give you…a makeover.”

That…was definitely not what he’d been expecting.

“Er…thanks?” he asked, because by the little hitch in his voice he was definitely asking, because he was definitely confused. A…makeover? But…why? Her expression fell a little, and he coughed as he reached up to loosen his tie. “I mean…it’s just…I didn’t think I needed one?”

And I was kind of hoping you’d suggest dinner?

“Luka,” she sighed, still exasperated. She grabbed his hands and hauled him to his feet before dragging him over to the fireplace. She gestured to the mirror sitting above the mantle, where he could clearly see his…ok, yeah, he looked a little disheveled, but they’d been in the library all day! He was expected to look rumpled! “Look at yourself.”

“I am,” he said, trying not to sound offended. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders, trying (unsuccessfully) to even out the wrinkles in his shirt. He tried to ignore the shiver that wanted to race up his spine at her touch. Focus, Couffaine, he thought. She sighed, turning him towards her, eyeing his clothes rather critically.

“Luka, you know I adore you,” she said, and he tried to ignore the way that made his stomach flutter, “but look at you. This is a high-profile, celebrity case. It’s going to be televised, and you’re going to show up looking like your only suit came from a Goodwill?”

“Hey,” he protested, weakly. He could feel the heat rising on his cheeks again. He looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have two suits, thank you very much, and only one came from Goodwill.”

He glanced up at her to find she had lifted one of those perfectly sculpted brows at him, and he grinned sheepishly before adding: “…the other came from Salvation Army.”

“Luka!” she laughed, squeezing his arms, and his grin warmed into a smile. He liked making her laugh like that. He… “That’s my point, you dork!”

Her laughter petered off, and she started fiddling with his tie. He glanced down at his outfit and tried to see her point, but he honestly thought he looked fine? Rumpled, sure, but that wasn’t anything a good tumble in the dryer or some ironing couldn’t fix. The gray slacks weren’t bad, and the white dress shirt with the thin, dark blue check matched his dark blue tie. Sure, his shoes were a little scuffed, but no one was going to be looking at his shoes. Marinette sighed again, and he looked back up at her.

“Luka, do you remember what I told you I did? Back at UCLA?” she asked. He nodded.

“You had a 4.0 in fashion merchandising,” he said, making her smile. “You wanted to design clothes.”

“So let’s just say this is something I’m actually good at,” she teased, and he frowned as he reached up to lay a hand over one of hers. He squeezed, making her look up at him.

“Hey…you’re good at this, Marinette,” he said. Her smile said she didn’t believe him, so he squeezed her hand tighter. “I mean it, Marinette. I may have helped you study, but all of this was you. You got Agreste’s internship all on your own. You went from the bottom to top of your class on your own. You put the work in, Marinette. You’re so incredibly smart, and you’ve got this…this…gift. You see things others don’t. You aregood at this.”

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Marinette to throw herself at him in a bone-crushing hug. He stood there for a moment, dazed, but before he could move or think or respond she was already pulling away and wiping at misty eyes. She smiled up at him, and he wondered if it would be ok if he hugged her again. He kind of felt cheated out of the last one.

“Thank you, Luka,” she said, shaking her head to clear it. “Ugh, ok, but seriously! This is what I was originally good at – so let me shine, ok? Look. You’re good at this, too. You’re such a talented lawyer, and if Agreste gives you half the chance you’re going to blow them away in court – but no one’s going to be thinking about how brilliant you are if you show up looking like a bum. Luka, it’s…it’s me showing up to a costume party dressed like a bunny!”

He blinked at her, remembering all too well that night he’d bumped into her at the bookstore and she was dressed in nothing more than a one piece, bunny ears, and tail.

“The look is half the fight,” she said, taking his hands in her own. “Don’t give them a reason to judge you just because your shoes are old. Please? Let me buy you a suit. Let me do this for you, Luka.”

He still didn’t get it – not really, if he was perfectly honest – but when she looked at him like that…

“…ok,” he said, and the smile and second hug she gave him made it all worth it.

[housecatclawmarks]

####aesthetic:

EMMETT

(spoken) Whoa, Elle? What's up, Doc?

ELLE

Love

EMMETT

(spoken) Excuse me?

ELLE

I put my faith in love

I followed where it led

EMMETT

(spoken) Love led you here?

ELLE

To my personal circle of Hell

It has not worked out well

I wish that I were dead

Cause instead of a wedding in love

I'm flunking out of school

A total laughing stock

Someone he and his friends could just mock

So go on, here's my head

Just hand over the rock!

EMMETT

(spoken) Wait, go back!

(sung) You came out here to follow a man

Harvard law was just part of that plan

Man, what rich romantic planet are you from?

ELLE

(spoken) Malibu?

EMMETT

Instead of lying outside by the pool

You stalk some guy to an ivy league school?

That's the weirdest reason I have--

ELLE

(spoken) Oh, why'd you come?

EMMETT

(spoken) Okay

(sung) I grew up in the Roxbury slums

With my mom and a series of bums

Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail

I got through law school by busting my ass

Worked two jobs in addition to class

So forgive me for not weeping at your tale

ELLE

(spoken) Well excuse me,

just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder . . .

EMMETT

(spoken) You know what? You're right.

(sung) There's a chip on my shoulder

And it's big as a boulder

With the chance I've been given

I'm gonna be driven as hell

I'm so close I can taste it

So I'm not gonna waste it

Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder

You might wanna get one as well

ELLE

(spoken) I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative. Wait!

Two jobs PLUS law school?! How do you do it?

EMMETT

Well, I don't go to parties a lot

Not good use of the time that I've got

Can't spend hours doing my hair and staying in shape

ELLE

(spoken) I don't spend hours!

EMMETT

But I know it'll all be worthwhile

When I win my first lucrative trial

And buy my mom that great big house out on the cape!

ELLE

(spoken) Oh, that's so sweet!

EMMETT

No! That's the chip on my shoulder

I hugged my mom and told her

With the chance I've been given

I'm gonna be driven as hell

Though I can't take the day off

I just think of the payoff

You need a chip on your shoulder

Little Miss Woods comma Elle

ELLE

(spoken) I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious!

EMMETT

(spoken) What you need is to get to work! Where are your law books?

ELLE

(spoken) Ummm . . . Well, I know they're here somewhere . . .

EMMETT

Ya know, this vanity's real picturesque

But it started its life as a desk

Clear it off, and find some room for books instead

ELLE

(spoken) What are you doing?!

EMMETT

Can you live without this?

Can you live without that?

I don't know what this is

ELLE

(spoken) It's for hair!

EMMETT

Wear a hat!

Spend some time improving what's inside your head!

Out, out, put it in storage, sell it on eBay, leave it behind

Out, out, what, are you angry?

Good, so get angry! You may find

The chip on your shoulder

ELLE

(spoken) ARGH!

EMMETT

The room just got colder

ELLE

(spoken) Hey!

EMMETT

But with the chance you've been given

Why are you not driven as hell?!

There's just no way around it

You gotta plow through til you've

ELLE

(spoken) Found it!

EMMETT

Been reading it hard, I can tell . . .

GIRLS

Tis a gift to be simple

Tis a gift to be free

Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm

ELLE

(spoken) Bye, Warner! Have a great Thanksgiving!

Say hi to your mom and dad for me! And Grandma Bootsie!

EMMETT

(spoken) Define malum prohibitum.

ELLE

(spoken) Malum prohibitum is, ummm . . .

EMMETT

(spoken) An act prohibited--

ELLE

(spoken) An act prohibited by law like jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore.

EMMETT

(spoken) Therefore malum ensae?

ELLE

(spoken) Is an action. That is evil in itself.

Assualt, murder, white shoes after labor day.

EMMETT

(spoken) Good. Where are you going?

ELLE

(spoken) Home, of course! It's Thanksgiving break, remember?

EMMETT

(spoken) Interesting.

ELLE

(spoken) What?

EMMETT

Well, I predict you will probably pass

ELLE

(spoken) Yes!

EMMETT

In the bottom percent of your class

ELLE

(spoken) What?

EMMETT

If you're going for mediocre, you've done great!

ELLE

(spoken) That's not fair!

EMMETT

Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you

We can't win if we don't follow through!

Might I venture your vacation plans can wait?

ELLE

(spoken) Why do you always have to be right?

GIRLS

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! (Latin chanting)

ELLE

(spoken) Bye, Warner! Merry Christmas! Enjoy Bayo!

EMMETT

(spoken) Ho-ho-ho!

ELLE

(spoken) Emmett!

EMMETT

(spoken) For you! Not as good as going home for Christmas, but . . .

ELLE

(spoken) You are too sweet.

EMMETT

(spoken) It's a real time saver. Shampoo and conditioner in one!

ELLE

(spoken) Ah! (giggles) Thank you. You are so adorable to think of me.

WARNER

(spoken) Elle, hey!

ELLE

(spoken) Warner!

WARNER

(spoken) Have you seen Vivienne? I've been looking for her everywhere!

ELLE

(spoken) Yeah . . . I-I mean no.

WARNER

(spoken) Great! We're gonna miss our flight!

EMMETT

(spoken)Um, Elle?

(sung)I don't know if you've noticed before

But each time Warner walks in the door

Your IQ goes down to 40, maybe less

ELLE

(spoken) Huh?

EMMETT

Though it's hardly my business to say

Could it be the real thing in your way

Is the very guy you're trying to impress

ELLE

Yes! I've been smiling and sweet and thoroughly beaten blowing my chance

Let's not chase him away

Let's face him and say

"Hey punk, let's dance!"

This chip on my shoulder

Makes me smarter and bolder

No more whining or blaming

I am reclaiming my pride

Grab that book and let's do this

Instead of doodling hearts all through this

Now there's a chip on my shoulder!

Let's see him knock it aside!

GIRLS

Ah-ah-ah-ah Daughter of Delta Nu

Show him that you're no fool

Daughter of Delta Nu

Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder!

WARNER

(spoken) Mr. Ladimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation.

Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist!

CALLAHAN

(spoken) Now you're thinking like a lawyer!

Yes, Miss Woods.

ELLE

(spoken) Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point,

but did the defendant keep a log of every sperm emission made throughout his life?

CALLAHAN

(spoken) Interesting. Why do you ask?

ELLE

(spoken) Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter

to find out if a child resulted from those unions,

he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever.

Why now? Why this sperm?

CALLAHAN

(spoken) I see your point.

ELLE

(spoken) And by Mr. Huntington's standards,

all masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg would

be called reckless abandonment.

CALLAHAN

(spoken) Miss Woods, you just won your case.

ELLE

Ohmigod . . .

GIRLS

Wait, hold on, we just won the case!

ELLE

Omigod . . .

GIRLS

Elle got all up in Warner's face

ELLE

Omigod . . .

GIRLS

I am starting to like this place! Yes! Omigod!

CALLAHAN

(spoken) Miss Woods, excellent work today.

I assume you're applying for my internship. Do you have a resume?

ELLE

(spoken) I am one step ahead of you.

Here you go, and thanks in advance for your consideration.

CALLAHAN

(spoken) Dear God, it's scented.

Three months ago, I would have recycled this. Make sure to put it on file.

EMMETT

Guess she got a chip on her shoulder

Maybe some wise man told her

With the chance we've been given

We gotta be driven as hell

She was something to see there

I'm just happy I could be there

First big test and she aced it

She's so close she can taste it

She got a chip on her shoulder

Guess you never can te-e-ell . . .

With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

GIRLS

Elle Woods

Woods comma Elle

Chip on her shoulder

Elle Woods

Woods comma Elle

Chip on her shoulder

EMMETT

No you never can tell

GIRLS

Elle Woods

Woods comma Elle

Chip on her shoulder

ALL

With little Miss Woods comma Elle