#I've been sitting on these for a while and I just need to talk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

charmedimsure · 13 hours ago

Text

THE NEXT EPISODE || thanos

pairing: Thanos/Choi Su-bong x f!reader

summary: You and Su-bong reunite after his stay at rehab. No debt/no games AU.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: rehab, drinking, drugs, addiction, depression

A/N: i've been working on this for like two weeks and i still feel like i could work on it more. i love this mini series i made and i'm excited to see how other people like it :) if you find any mistakes no you didn't <3

Part 1: Wake Up Call

Today is the big day. The day Su-bong has been working towards for the past six months.

Today he gets out of rehab.

He originally tried to quit on his own, but after multiple relapses, he decided he needed help. Due to his multiple addictions and how long he's been addicted for, the doctors at the facility suggested a longer stay for him, to which he agreed.

Before he left, he gave you the keys to his apartment, putting you in charge of managing the place while he's away. You also promised to get rid of anything in his apartment that could potentially be abused.

Rehab had actually not been bad. It certainly wasn't easy, but Su-bong felt better about it knowing there were so many other people there going through the same thing as him. He had ended up making some really good friends there, friends that he was excited to see again once they all got out. A few of them had made plans to meet up at a coffee house soon, about a week after Su-bong is released.

The thing Su-bong has been looking forward to the most while in rehab is seeing you again. The only visitors that were allowed were family members, so he had to settle for just talking to you on the phone.

"Can I see you soon?" Su-bong asks into the phone.

"I have to work today, but I'm off tomorrow if you want to come by?" you say. "Oh, and I left something for you on your counter."

Su-bong smiles into the phone. "You didn't have to do that."

"Don't get too excited, it's not much," you laugh. "But I just wanted to give you something to congratulate you."

"I'll be happy with anything you give me," he says.

"Cheesy," you groan, making him laugh. A small gasp comes from Su-bong's phone. "Shoot, my boss just texted me I have to go in early. I'm sorry, I gotta go. Text me when you get home, okay?"

"All good," Su-bong says. "Yeah, I'll text you. Let me know when you get to the club and back home safe."

"I will," he can hear the smile in your voice. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Su-bong walks into his apartment. A chill washes over him. It's been so long since he was here, and he's changed so much. He puts his things down, walking into his kitchen.

A feeling of dread fills him. Was six months enough? Is he really able to do this?

A glint catches his eye, and he sees a small chain sitting on his counter. Attached to it is a dog tag. He picks it up, examining it. When he notices a clasp on the side of the dog tag, he opens it, revealing a small note in your handwriting.

'I'm proud of you <3'

A comfortable warmth fills his body as he smiles at your note. He closes the tag, immediately putting the chain around his neck.

He looks around his place. It holds way too many memories of his time before rehab. Waking up with a headache so bad he's worried his head might implode, turning over to see some random girl in his bed who's name he can't remember. That's not how he wants to live anymore.

He takes a water bottle from the fridge, which you must have put in there for him, and sits on his couch, looking up listings for available apartments. Preferably one close to you.

Su-bong feels his heart race as he stands in front of your apartment door. He's been waiting for this moment for six months. With a deep breath, he knocks on the door.

Footsteps are heard from the other side of the door. Something makes a loud bang and he hears you curse, making his lips twitch upwards.

The door opens and there you are. He swears you've only gotten more beautiful since he last saw you.

"Woah, I almost didn't recognize you," you smile.

He smiles, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. He hadn't dyed his hair since before rehab, leaving it at its natural dark brown. "Yeah, I've been getting that a lot."

"I like it," you say. "You look much more like Su-bong."

He feels his face heat up, muttering a shy 'thank you'.

You step to the side, opening the door wider. "Come in! I'll go grab a snack."

Su-bong walks into your apartment, a smile playing on his face at the familiar set up. You move to the kitchen and he sits on your couch. He chuckles at the new blanket laying next to him, clearly having been used recently.

He looks up as you walk back into the room, placing a bowl of pretzels and a bottle of blue Gatorade on the coffee table in front of him. You remembered.

He gestures toward the blanket. "That new?"

You put a pretzel in your mouth and smile at him, nodding enthusiastically. "My mom got it for me. You have to feel it, it's so soft." He chuckles as you cover your mouth with your hand, too excited to tell him about the blanket to wait until you've swallowed your food.

He reaches out to the blanket, eyes widening when his fingers graze the fabric. "Holy shit."

"Right?!" you laugh, picking up the blanket and sitting down. You toss it over both of your legs. You take a moment to study his face. "You look really good, Su-bong."

He feels himself blush, turning away in embarrassment. "Yeah, my pupils are finally the correct size."

You laugh at the comment. "Yes, that. But you also just look much healthier. Much happier."

He nods. "I feel happier. I thought I was happy all those nights at the club, drinking away my life. But now I know that wasn't real happiness." He looks at you, looking deep into your eyes. "This is real happiness."

Now it's your turn to look away, feeling heat rush to your face. "I'm glad. You deserve happiness."

He smiles.

"Even though you once tried to pay me to take off my shirt."

Su-bong cringes, bringing his hand to his face as you laugh. "Can you please stop bringing that up?"

You shake your head. "No way. This is the punishment you get for that. Me making fun of you. I think it's a fair exchange."

He laughs. "Fair enough."

You continue talking for the next hour or so, telling each other about everything and nothing. Su-bong's heart soars every time he is able to make you laugh. He's made music his entire life, but no song could ever compare to the sweet tune of your laughter.

"On Sunday I'm gonna meet up with a few friends from rehab at that new coffee place around the corner," he says. "Do you want to come?"

You shake your head. "Thank you for the invitation but I don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding," he assures. "I, uh, talked about you a lot and they really want to meet you."

Your face heats up at his admission, nodding. "In that case, I'd love to go."

He smiles. "Good."

You put on a movie to watch, saying you saw one while he was away and couldn't wait to show it to him. Throughout the movie, Su-bong sneaks glances at you. He's wanted you ever since he first laid his eyes on you. You were the hot bartender with a fiery personality.

Now, though, as he watches you chew your lip in concentration, he sees just how amazing you truly are. You're the beautiful girl who changed his life for the better. The amazing girl who gave him a reason to become a better person. The kind girl who talked on the phone with him every day while he was in rehab.

You're his best friend. And he's deeply in love with you.

Su-bong opens the door to the coffee house, letting you walk inside first before entering as well.

"Hey, Su-bong!" a voice yells, getting his attention. He smiles when he sees his friends, waving at them. He motions for you to follow him as you head over to the table.

"Hey guys," he greets, giving each of them a small hug. It feels nice to see them on the outside. They all accomplished the same thing, and they'll forever be close for doing it together.

He looks to you. "Oh right. This is Jung-su, Shin-il, and Ji-hae."

Each of them wave and smile at you as he says their names. Once he introduces you, they all seem to get a similar look on their faces.

"Oh, so you're the girl he keeps talking about," Shin-il smirks. Su-bong lightly smacks his arm, making the boy laugh.

"Shin-il, be quiet!" Ji-hae rolls her eyes. She turns to you. "He told us about how you helped him get sober. We're glad he had someone so supportive helping him."

You smile. "I just wanted to help any way I could. He's the one who ultimately chose to get help." You smile at him and he feels his heart melt. "And I'm glad he was able to make some great friends in there, from what he's told me."

"Aw, you talked about us?" Jung-su flashes Su-bong with puppy eyes, making the ladder roll his own.

"Plus, now he doesn't call me 'Señorita' anymore, so really I got something out of it too," you say.

The table bursts out in laughter and Su-bong hides his face behind his hands. "Maybe it was a mistake bringing you here, I didn't realize you were all going to gang up on me."

You laugh, rubbing his arm. "I'm just kidding. Come on, let's go get something to drink."

You move to stand but he puts a hand on your shoulder. "I got it. What do you want?"

You tell him your order, thanking him as he walks to the counter.

Ji-hae leans across the table to you. "He really likes you, you know," she smiles. "Talked about you all the time."

You smile. "He's a really great guy. I wish I could've talked to him sooner, maybe he would've gotten help sooner. He's my best friend now."

"You should go out with him," she says. "Based on how he talked about you, he'd treat you right."

You turn to look at Su-bong, smiling as he rocks back and forth on his feet while waiting in line.

"I do like him," you say, turning back to Ji-hae. "I just want to give him some time first. He just got out of rehab, I feel like he should have some time to figure out what he really wants and adjust to sobriety, if that makes sense."

"Totally," Jung-su says, nodding his head. "I've been out two months now and I still feel like this is all new."

"Just please be there for him," Shin-il asks.

You nod. "I'm not going anywhere."

On the other side of the coffee house, while waiting for your drinks, Su-bong feels a hand grasp his shoulder.

"Holy shit man," a familiar voice says behind him. "You dropped off the face of the earth!"

Su-bong turns to see the smiling face of Nam-gyu.

"Where have you been, dude?"

Su-bong opens his mouth to answer but is cut off when Nam-gyu continues.

"You know what, it doesn't matter." He pulls a small bag out of his jacket pocket. "I just got some new shit. It's fucking insane, man. You gotta try it."

He stares at the pills. This is the first time that drugs have been so accessible to him since before rehab. A cold sweat breaks out and his breath gets quicker. It would be so easy. All he'd have to do is pop one little pill.

He turns back to look at the table. You're sitting there, laughing with Jung-su. The sound flows to his ears and a soft smile graces his face. The sweat stops and his breathing goes back to normal.

He doesn't need pills anymore. He has you. And you make him so much happier than pills ever have or ever will.

He turns back to Nam-gyu, straightening his posture. "No, I don't do that stuff anymore."

Nam-gyu gives him a look. "Are you kidding, dude? You can't get this shit anywhere, and you're turning it down? What the fuck happened to you, Thanos?"

"It's Su-bong, actually," he says.

"No more Thanos!? What's going on?"

Su-bong opens his mouth to respond, but is beaten by another voice.

"Nam-gyu, leave him alone, please," you say, putting a hand on Su-bong's shoulder as you step beside him.

Nam-gyu looks between the two of you before a knowing smile spreads on his face.

"Oh, I see," he says. "So this is the guy you've been calling all the time." The barista calls out his name and he takes his cup. "Knew it was only a matter of time before you two got together, I should've bet on it." He turns, walking toward the door. "I'll see you at work!"

You wave to him as he leaves, turning to Su-bong. "Are you okay? He didn't give you anything, did he?"

He shakes his head. "He offered, but I said no. I was expecting him to be a lot less understanding."

"I've been talking to him the past few months at work, turns out he's not bad when he's not constantly sticking his nose up someone else's ass," you say, making Su-bong laugh. His name is called and you take the cups from the barista, thanking them before handing Su-bong's drink to him, taking his hand and leading him back to the table.

"Welcome back, Señorita," Shin-il smirks.

The table bursts out in laughter again and Su-bong stands from the table, waving goodbye to everyone. You grab his wrist before he can get too far, laughing along with him as he sits back down next to you.

It's been about five months since Su-bong got out of rehab. He's been doing very good, resisting every time he feels even the slightest temptation.

He's gotten back into music and is working on his next album, which is going to be the first he's releasing that's not under the name "Thanos", instead rebranding as Choi Su-bong. You're of course his biggest supporter and he plays you all of his songs to get your opinion. You've even helped on a few songs, and he plans on crediting you as a co-writer.

Remembering what you told him nearly a year ago, he surprised you one day with your own guitar, taking the time to teach you how to play. You're still learning, but he loves everything you play, nearly as much as he loves your laugh whenever you play the wrong note.

You've been dancing around each other for the past few months, both aware of your feelings, but liking what you have going on between you for now. As time passes, though, Su-bong can feel himself getting closer to the edge, ready to take the leap.

One day you're both sitting in Su-bong's new apartment when he turns to you.

"Hey," Su-bong says. You look up from your phone at him. "I uh, I want to play something for you, if that's okay."

You smile, locking your phone and putting it face-down on the couch. "Yeah, I'd love that."

He stands up and reaches his hand out towards you. You take it, standing as he leads you to his piano. He sits on the bench, making room for you to sit beside him.

"I actually wrote this for you," he says, shyly looking at you. You smile at him, giving him a nod of encouragement. With a deep breath, he begins playing the notes before singing.

"I text a postcard sent to you Did it go through? Sending all my love to you You are the moonlight of my life every night Giving all my love to you."

You feel your eyes start to water as you listen to the words. His words reflect exactly how you feel, put in a way that makes it more beautiful than anything you could say to him.

You've heard him sing more ties than you can count. But sitting here next to him, listening as he pours his heart out to you, you don't think any song will ever compare.

"With every breath that I am worth Here on Earth I'm sending all my love to you So if you dare to second guess You can rest Assured that all my love's for you."

Su-bong puts his entire heart into the song. He had started writing it on the piano they had at the rehabilitation center. He had written a few songs while he was there, but this one was specifically inspired by you. The lyrics were from notes he would write down while talking to you, things that came to his head as your sweet voice drifted through the speaker of his phone.

"My beating heart belongs to you I walked for miles till I found you I'm here to honor you If I lose everything in the fire I'm sending all my love to you."

He stops playing, bringing his arms to his sides. He slowly looks up at you. "You've done so much for me. I don't think I can ever pay you back, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying if you'll let me."

A tear escapes your eye. You sniffle, nodding your head.

Su-bong reaches out to cup your cheek, wiping away the tear with his thumb. He looks down to your lips before looking back up to your eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

He leans forward, closing his eyes as his lips make contact with yours. Su-bong has kissed girls before, more than he'd like to admit, but he feels like a teenager kissing their crush for the first time.

This is a moment nearly a year in the making. All of his longing for you, his adoration of you is put into the kiss.

He pulls back, regaining his breath as he looks over your face. Your kiss-swollen lips are just begging to be kissed again, but there's something that needs to be done first.

"I love you," he says. "I've loved you for a long time. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and there's nothing I want more than to be with you."

You smile at him, and he feels starstruck by how beautiful you are. "I love you too, Su-bong," you say. "I'm forever grateful that you showed me the real you that day in my apartment. Because I love the real you. So much."

Su-bong's face lights up in a smile, leaning forward to capture your lips again in an awkward kiss that makes you both laugh.

All his hard work is paying off. He is finally worthy of happiness. He is finally worthy of you. And he's going to spend every day making sure he stays worthy.

Song: Last Night on Earth by Green Day

Squid Game Tags: @thebiggestigurosimp @vvnbxz @lov3yy @miltzzy @l5byrinth @come-as-you-are-111 @starkeyszn @learninglinesintherainn @galactict3a @sawlover353 @jspidey5 @skywalker0809 @zannispppp @lianobody

Pt 2 tags: @dweeebazoid @apookalypse @jxsibat @fallout-girl219 @senorittaaaa

lmk if you want to be added to the taglist

#squid game #squid game 2 #squid game season 2 #squid game fanfic #squid game x reader #thanos squid game #thanos x reader #thanos #choi su bong #squid game thanos #player 230 #choi su bong x reader #t.o.p

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rosenclaws · 2 days ago

Note

Could I pleasssse request a smut/fluff fic with Logan where he secretly likes the reader and doesn't like the readers bf? The reader is in their early to mid twenties and has been best friends with Logan for years and he snaps one night when her bf is being an asshole 👀 thank you so much 😭

warnings: Angst to fluff, asshole boyfriend, he's mutant hating low key, threats, fighting

a/n: Hehehe i fucking LOVE a good jealousy fic, also I based the asshole ex on multiple asshole exes of my own lol.

Things were well and truly complicated. You always knew what being a mutant meant for your relationship life. Having to dip your toes into the water to see if they the kind of person who wanted your kind dead or if they were more open to the idea of mutants.

Even then you ran into all kinds of assholes. If you could even get past the first date then you'd have to drop the bomb that you work at a mutant school with mutant children. Safe to say your dating life was pretty empty.

"You here again sweetheart?" You roll your eyes when you hear Logan's voice. It's Friday night and you're sitting in the living room of the mansion with a root beer.

“Yeah, so are you.” You bite back. He just chuckles and takes a seat next to you. Spreading his legs until his knee knocks into yours.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with that kid, what was his name Jacob or��”

“Jason. Yeah he canceled when he saw the pick up address.” You remember the absolute terrified voice he spoke to you in, afraid you were going to melt his bones through the phone or something.

“You really know how to pick em.” You shove Logans shoulder as he laughs.

“Fuck off, I don’t see you getting any action lately either.”

“That’s because I’m not interested in dating some stranger.” He grumbles.

Truth is Logan hasn't been interested in anyone except for you for a while now. Its been years and as pathetic as it sounds Logan was too afraid to say anything. But there's no reason to mess up a good thing right? Plus it's not like you've been showing any interest in him.

“Look, any guy would be lucky to have you sweetheart, you just need to find the right one."

"Feels like I've been searching forever. Feels like I should make a marriage pact or something." You say with a groan.

"A marriage pact?" "Logan questions.

"Yeah you know, if we haven't found someone by the time we're forty we just, get married."

"We?" Your eyes widen and you start to flounder. The last thing you want is for Logan to think you're a creep or something. It's not like you fantasize about Logan or anything. Totally not.

"Not you, I mean if you wanted to then sure but I was just talking hypothetically you know. I mean god could you imagine you and I?" The words tumble out of your mouth with no filter. You just can't stop yourself. Logan cocks and eyebrow and you pray for something, anything to happen to help you shut up.

"Yeah...hard to picture you and I" Logan's face hardens as he talks.

Like he thought before, you don't want him. You could just burst into flames right here and now. The tension is palpable. Logan has been your friend for a long time but he never fails to make you a little nervous. He shouldn't have this hold over you but god he's just so big and intimidating.

"You know what? We should go out." You say abruptly.

"What? Hey give that back!" You grab the beer out of his hand and he looks at you confused.

"It'll be fun please, I'll buy the first round." You offer and he thinks for a second.

"Fine."

You don't really know what drove you to want to come here. It was loud and crowded and you and Logan had gotten separated after the first drink. Maybe you just wanted to avoid the odd feelings you get whenever you're alone with him. Plus that last conversation was awkward as hell.

You sigh as you swirl your drink around. You spot Logan across the room. He's leaning against the wall while a very pretty red head is all in his space. Your heart clenches as you notice the cocky smile on his face and how he's not pushing her away. Guess someone is getting lucky tonight and it isn't you.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice a beautiful girl all by herself." You look to your side to see a guy slide into the seat next to you. He seems nice enough. He's cute and all.

"Oh I'm here with a friend." You say looking back at Logan.

"Yeah, he seems busy to me. The name's Carter. Let me buy you a drink, no strings attached I swear." He offers. You take one last look at Logan, that woman's hand snaking up his arm. Fuck it.

"Alright deal."

Things since that night have been, a little off. You went home with Carter after Logan had disappeared. Carter was nice enough, at least he was at first. He treated you nice, bought you flowers. He didn't care you were a mutant or that you worked at a mutant school. He was the perfect gentleman. For the first couple months.

It happened so slowly you didn't even notice at first. You spent less time at the mansion, instead now spending it with him. The kids started to miss you and so did your friends but you were happy and they were happy you were happy.

You rarely saw Logan anymore. Ever since you came home from the bar he had been avoiding you, or something. Carter would come by the mansion but his nice guy persona seemed to fade the more he spent with everyone. It didn't help that one of your students accidently lit him on fire once. That's when the fights started.

He didn't trust the kids there, said they were dangerous. He would tell you that he liked mutants but h was worried for your safety. And he really didn't like Logan. The first time the two of them met it ended in a fight on the car ride back to his place. Logan was a strong personality and the two men clashed.

Soon every time your job got brought up it ended in a fight. He'd talk bad about your students, about your friends, about Logan. Carter wanted to keep you away from there because he loved you but they were your family.

He loved you, you had to believe it was all because he loved you. I mean you had spent so long looking for a man who didn't care about your job or your mutant abilities and Carter was that guy. At least you thought he was. You won't find anyone better. Carter liked to say that. It's hard to come by someone who's okay with what you are. So you just had to believe he did it all because he loved you.

"Do we really have to go to this stupid thing? Can't we just stay in..." Carters hand snakes up your leg but you bat his hand away making him huff.

A pissed off look on his face as you drive to the mansion. It was a simple staff party but it had been too long since you got to relax with all your friends. Carter had insisted on coming along but right now you wish he had just stayed home, especially if he was going to complain the whole time.

"This is really important to me. We don't have to stay long I promise." You say in a cheerful tone but Carter just rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." It was exhausting. To Carter anything he wanted to do was fine but as soon as there was something you wanted to do it was a chore.

"Don't understand why you're so obsessed with being around these...people." He mumbles under his breath. Not this again. You plaster on a fake smile as you pretend you didn't hear him. He loves you for who you are right?

The party was in full swing by the time you get in. You greet your friends, trying to hide your feelings as Carter says something about getting a drink.

"You finally made it." You turn to see Logan standing behind you.

"Logan! Didn't expect to see you here." You tease. Parties were never Logan's thing.

"I heard you might show up, can't miss that now can I?" He opens his arms and you don't hesitate to hug him. You missed this. Your nights used to be filled with movie nights and late night snacking with Logan. It's been so long since you got to do any of that.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Logan clocks the fake smile immediately. He's noticed the ways you've changed. You're deflated, tired. It's all that assholes doing and he knows it.

"Yeah every things fine," Logans hands rest on your arms, he's about to press you a little further but Carter comes back.

"Hey man get your hands off my girlfriend." Carter almost seems to puff out his chest as if he was trying to appear bigger than Logan. Logan rolls his eyes.

"Calm down bub, just saying hi to my friend."

"Well she's my girlfriend."

"Yeah she's also a person not a fucking object." Logan growls and you step to get in between the two of them. The last thing you wanted was a fight right now.

"It was great seeing you again Logan." You smile as Carter wraps his hand around your wrist.

Logan reluctantly lets go of you as you're taken away by your boyfriend. He feels this anger burning inside of him. Every time he sees that bastard touch you he wants to rip off his damn arms. Every time he sees your smile fall or hears your fake laugh.

"Jealous much?" Scott comments, a smirk on his face as Logan turns to glare.

"I ain't jealous." Logan snaps as he stalks away.

Yes he is, he's very jealous. He's jealous that asshole is your boyfriend and not him. He's jealous that he's not the one who gets to hold you at night and call you his girl. But he was too late. So he's got no one to blame but himself.

Carter hadn't left your side since your moment with Logan. Normally you'd be happy about this but he was doing nothing but complain every chance he got.

"Can we just fucking go home already. You saw your little friends."

"It's barely been an hour Carter. All I asked for was this one thing! These people are my family would it kill you to try and act interested." You snap, finally fed up with his attitude. He scoffs and crosses his arm.

"I am trying. It's not my fault your family are freaks! Especially that fucking monster." He says with an extra glare towards Logan. Heads start to turn as he raises his voice.

"They're not freaks and don't call Logan that! He is not a monster!" You hiss. You've had it up to here with Carter. Everything you thought about him was crumbling down. If this is what love was then you'd rather be single.

"Of course you come to his defense. What are you fucking him on the side?" He spits.

Logan looks ready to pounce but he's being held back. If he could he'd maim this guy until he's nothing but blood and bones. He doesn't care what insult this guy spews his way but the second he disrespects you, all bets are off.

"He's my friend that's why I'm defending him. I will not let you talk about anyone of these people like that! You are nothing but a hateful asshole. You can go home and don't wait up because you're done."

You're seething with anger but there's a sense of relief that washes over you. You can feel every ones eyes on you but you don't care. You turn around to walk away but Carter grabs onto your wrist.

"Don't fucking walk away from me!" You wince at how hard he grabs you and that's when Logan snaps. Like an animal he's on Carter in an instant. Claws out and a murderous look on his face.

"Get your fucking hand off her before I slice it off." Whatever arrogance Carter had was gone in an instant. He lets go of your wrist and grabs at Logan's arm but Logan is unmoving.

"Listen here bub, you're going to get your sorry ass out of here and never come back." Logan leans in, just close enough that Carter is the only one who can hear his next words.

"If you even think of contacting her again I'll find you and I'll rip you limb from limb." Carter scrambles out of Logans grip and falls to the ground.

"You're all fucking insane." He yells as he runs out the door.

There's a weight that falls off your shoulders the second he's out of your sight. You let out a sigh as you turn to face everyone. Some of them were looking at you with pity and others were happy he was finally gone.

"I am, so sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't ruin the party sugar, we're glad he's gone. Now we can really party." Rouge says with a smile, you're grateful for her as this breaks the awkward tension.

Things seem to go back to normal but you slip outside, not really feeling a party mood anymore. You hear the door open and foot steps behind you. A root beer is placed in front of you and you gladly take it. Wordlessly Logan takes the spot next to you. Man you can't remember the last time you got to sit down with Logan.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." You say. He shrugs and throws an arm around you, pulling you closer.

"Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, asshole had it coming." He takes a sip of his beer and you sigh, leaning a little closer to him.

"How could I be so stupid, things went south way before tonight. I just...didn't want to see it."

"Hey, you're not stupid. You were in love." Love makes you do a lot of things. Turn a blind eye or in Logan's case. Pretend like the feelings aren't even there.

"No I wasn't. Not really. I think...I was so afraid of never finding someone that I latched onto the first guy to give me an ounce of attention." You groan. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved huh? Nothing. But you deserve a guy who isn't a complete asshole.

"There will be other guys, anyone would be lucky. to have you"

"Yeah? Like who?" You say with a snort.

"Like me." Logan says simply. Your eyes widen as you taken in what he just said.

"What?" You ask in disbelief.

Logan shifts where he sits. Fuck this isn't how he imagined telling you, in fact he thought he never would. But Carter made him so angry and he'd be dammed if he let another dick come and take you away again.

"Like me, I want to be the lucky bastard."

"I...Logan how long have you felt this way." You ask, a hand coming to rest on his chest.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Yes it does, please. I need to know how much of an idiot I've been." You beg and Logan frowns, he doesn't like it when you call yourself an idiot.

"Years sweetheart, I've been in love with you for years." He confesses.

All this time. He's been there. As your friend, as something more. Too wrapped up in his own shit to say something at first and then by the time he worked out some of it, it was too late. He hates to admit it but that asshole did one thing right, it pushed him to stop hiding how he really feels about you.

"Logan..." You whisper as your lean in close to him.

His hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. Your lips ghost each other for just a moment, before he leans closer and kisses you. Your lips move together slowly. Logan groans against your lips as he pulls you even closer, if anyone were to look outside they'd see you practically crawling onto his lap.

His other hand cups your cheek, keeping you right there for him to kiss over and over. A part of you is kicking yourself for not saying anything to Logan sooner. So much pain and annoyance could have been avoided had one of you just confessed, but the other part of you is too happy to care. Too happy knowing that he felt the same way and that he was finally yours.

"I wish we had done this sooner."

"Me too sweetheart, but you have me now." He says as he kisses you again. A thought lingers in your mind and you pull away from Logan much to his dismay.

"Fuck, I need to get my shit from Carters place." You say with a groan.

"Don't say his name ever again," Logan grumbles and you laugh.

"I'll take care of everything so you never even have to think of that asshole." Logan buries his face in your neck, kissing every bit of skin he can reach.

"Now, lets ditch this party and make up for some lost time." Logan purrs.

God there's so much time to catch up on, you mourn what could have been but Logan taps your cheek. Snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

"You alright sweetheart?" You nod, shaking your head free of those thoughts. That's all in the past now, it took a while but you found your way to Logan and that's all that matters.

"I've never been better. Now, take me home."

#logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #logan howlett angst

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lesbianalanwake · 1 day ago

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Severance S2E2:

--holy shit. I see why the season is 10 episodes instead of 9. two episodes to resolve the S1 finale and wind up to the pitch. there was so much legwork in this episode, and so much tension that I could barely sit still.

--I hope they paid Milchick a big overtime bonus in addition to his new salary!!! man did all that in 48 hours!!!

--Mark and Devon.... Mark being in denial about the possibility that Mark S could have been talking about Gemma, when we later see that it's been weighing on him heavily and he needed to talk to Cobel to confront it. it's such a small, small hope.... if he believes in the possibility that Gemma is alive, and it turns out that she is not, it would destroy him completely, and he's already come so close to destroying himself while grieving the first time. but Devon! Devon is so sharp! she knows her brother, and she glimpsed a younger, lighter version of her brother that she hasn't seen in a long time, and she clocked his tone and body language and everything about the situation correctly! and she can't live with the unanswered question of whether Gemma could be alive, because she misses her sister-in-law and misses who her brother used to be! she can't stop thinking about it while Mark is doing everything in his power to not think about it! aaaaah!

--Cobel bookending this episode by being as unhinged and mysterious as ever. we don't even know if she accepted the advisory council position! what is she up to! the final scene is so fucking good because I was like "I bet she's thinking about hitting Mark with her car," and then she screams like a bat out of hell and almost does just that LMAO. and she's still telling him to quit, even though Lumon is doing something significant with Gemma and "Cold Harbor," enough that they need Mark back to finish it, and Cobel knows what it is and wants something from it, and now Mark knows for sure that Gemma is alive because he needed to look Cobel in the eye and ask. I love their weird fucking dynamic. she's so fucking mad at Lumon, but maybe cares about Mark in her own unhinged way?? and his feelings were HURT that she lied to him because he went straight for the only thing that could maybe hurt her feelings a little bit in turn ("I ate your shitty fucking cookies").

--makes me hope that Cobel gets a "villain turned weird ally" arc, and that Milchick is right behind her, because he's already getting a taste of how thankless the severed floor manager position is, getting no guidance beyond "let Kier guide your heart" and having to defend the feat he managed to pull together in 48 hours.

--which brings me to: HELENA. HELENAAA. class traitor arc INCOMING. the "behind the scenes" bit reinforced this too: she is living in a gilded cage (the shot of her on the top floor with the windows acting as bars!) and seeing that her innie of all people gets affection and respect in a way that she never has, and she is enthralled. you can do it baby! I hope you kill your dad!

- I'm glad they clarified that the correct term for complex innie/outie romantic dynamics is "throuple" because Mark/Helly is finally compelling. by itself = eh. as part of Helena's development and possibly some kind of villainous fixation that can't possibly end well no matter how you slice it because Mark/Mark S is also going through a throuple thing with his dead wife who is actually alive, and don't think I've forgotten whatever thing that Helena and Milchick had going on in S1 (which is the only thing I was missing from this ep and hope they revisit) = now we're cooking with gas. not to mention Burt spying on Irving! throuples for days.

--tentatively believing that it really is Helena down there, and they sent her to play the part of Helly R to keep Mark complacent so that Cold Harbor gets finished, because Helly is too much of an unpredictable wild card but Helena is controllable (for now!). which would add another juicy flavor to Mark/Helly. they really did it, they really made the ship pop.

--it is so, so compelling how innies/outies are opposites. Helly is bold and rebellious, Helena is calm and subservient. Mark S is sweet and mild-mannered, Mark is cold and sarcastic. Dylan G is confident and driven, Dylan George is nervous and hesitant. Irving B is obedient and proper, Irving Bailiff is defiant and unconventional. and yet! bits of the other shine through, and we see it more and more, and they're slowly but surely on a collision course.

--the Good Doors interviewer says "you remind me of myself" and looks like Dylan, and I love this show because I can't tell if it's to continue the visual motif of doubling/reflections and show a "what could have been" path for Dylan, or if it's because there is truly something FUCKED going on across this whole town. or both.

--Lumon is in such a precarious position. they're a major global corporation, and they have politicians in their pocket, but there is also a lot of hostility and mistrust from the general public, enough to make a severed employee unhireable. (which further entraps their employees and keeps them dependent on Lumon.... Dylan. 😭) Lumon has to walk a fine line to continue, uh, whatever it is they're doing, without turning the public against them in a way that they couldn't recover from, hence the placating attempts at damage control. but all it would take would be a sufficiently strong spark to light that powder keg.

--because like, man.... I hope Helena and Cobel and Milchick all get their "fuck you Lumon" arcs. god. so many threads poised to unravel out of control and snap with the right push because the line that Lumon is walking is THIN. they do the most to try to control their severed employees, but they seem to take their non-severed employees for granted, and I'm wondering if that will be their undoing.

#*posts #severance spoilers #severance #i want to eat this episode #f: severance

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rorasjournal · 1 day ago

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Comfort in shadows | Azriel

lil short azriel fluff to start off my journey on tumblr hehe

pairing: azriel x reader

synopsis: y/n is stressed out about her responsibilities, and there’s only one person who can soothe her anxiety

word count: 819

warnings: none really, maybe some light man handling

The balls of my knuckles turn white as my grip on the terrace rails tighten while I stare out at the night swept view of velaris laid out in the distance, anxiety plaguing my mind. I've been trying to distract myself from all the thoughts gushing around for the past hour, but nothing has been working.

There's just too much going on right now, too much that I feel the need to deal with all on my own, and I'm fucking tired.

Whispering shadows cling to my skin, dancing along my body before strong arms are wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against a familiar chest.

"It's cold out here," Azriel mutters, tucking his face into the crook of my neck and pressing a soft kiss there. Closing my eyes, I lean my head back against his shoulder.

"I know."

"So why are you out here?"

When I don't reply, Azriel spins me around, sandwiching me between the rail and his body and forcing our gazes to meet. "What is it?"

I don't want to talk about any of it, especially not to Azriel. He's always so calm and collected, dealing with his responsibilities with so much grace and without complaint. I don't know how to be like that. "Nothing."

He lowers his face to mine, our noses brushing together and pulling the air from my lungs as he whispers, "I thought we were done with the lies."

"I'm not lying," I insist, ultimately webbing myself up in more deception regardless of the fact that Azriel clearly sees straight through me. He doesn't even need to use his shadows to figure me out.

A breath passes through his nose before he scoops me up, dangling me over his shoulder and walking inside while I yell out in detest.

"Put me down, asshole!"

"Gladly," he says, flipping me so my back hits the mattress of our bed. He's on top of me in a flash, his mouth attached to my neck as he sucks on my sensitive skin. My breathe hitches in my throat, a hand instinctively reaching to his head and threading my fingers through his dark hair. "What's going on?" he asks again, mumbling the words against my neck as he continues his work.

So that's what he's doing. Azriel is turning my mind to mush so he can get an admission out of me. Slick bastard.

Smart bastard though.

"I just—" I'm not sure if I'm struggling to get the words out because I don't want to say it out loud, or because his tongue is running up the base of my neck. "I'm stressed out, I don't know. Rhys wants me dealing with the Autumn Court and Beron is just such an asshole, I don't know how to handle all of this at once."

Pulling away, Azriel looks at me with furrowed brows. "Why was that so difficult for you to tell me?"

I turn my cheek against the mattress to avert my gaze, but Azriel grips my jaw, forcing me back.

What is with him and male-handling me today?

"Can you not see how it would be embarrassing admitting that I'm overwhelmed to the spymaster, the shadow singer who always keeps his head level, who always knows what's going on and how to deal with it?"

With a sigh, Azriel sits up, grabbing one of my hands to urge me up as well.

"I think you of all people should know that I've lost my cool a few number of times.”

“Yeah, a few," I reply with a roll of my eyes. "That's a few hundred less than me."

The corner of his mouth ticks up. "Y/n."

"Azriel."

That just makes his smile grow. "You know it's okay to ask for help, right?" he whispers, tenderly tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear as I lean away. "Especially from me."

"But that's my point, I shouldn't need to ask for help. I should be able to deal with this on my own like everyone else does."

"There's not one person in this court that hasn't needed assistance from the others at one point or another, and I'm pretty damn sure you should know that considering it's usually you that's doing the assisting." He chuckles. "You don't even realise you're doing it, do you."

I sigh, leaning over and resting my forehead on his chest as he drapes an arm across my shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"You're the strongest person I know, that's not going to change just because Beron is pulling your strings."

"I wish you didn't always sound so wise, it makes it hard for me to not listen to your advice."

His chest rumbles as he laughs quietly. He completely scoops me up into his arms, dragging me onto his lap as he whispers, "I will always be that reassuring voice in your ear."

#azriel #acotar #x reader #reader insert #fem reader #fluff #azriel fluff #short #azriel shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses

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wowzees · 3 days ago

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no matter what

lando norris x reader

y/n is not used!

a/n: this is a short story from uni- i have to make a collection of them

the one i posted earlier was also one, but these have not recived feedback from my professer or have been majorly edited. enjoy!

High school felt like the longest four years of my life. Days blurred into each other, routines became a way of life, and I thought I had everything figured out. I was one of those kids who had his group of friends, the sport he played, and the classes he took, all laid out in a neat, predictable order. Nothing ever really changed.

And then, there was her.

She’d been there from the start. The girl who wasn’t just a friend,she was something more, though I never said it out loud. We’d grown up together, laughed at the same inside jokes, gotten in trouble for the same stupid things. She knew me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I knew myself. She was the one I could count on for anything. She was the one who could make me laugh on days when nothing felt right. When life got heavy, when there was uncertainty about my future, she was the one I turned to. And I thought that would never change. Or maybe I didn’t think about it at all. Why would I need to? She was always there, like a constant in my life, something I could rely on. But looking back, I see the warning signs. Small things that I chose not to notice.

At first, it was little things— how she stopped coming to my house after school everyday. How she stopped calling me for big milestones. It’s easy to ignore changes like that. Until they hit you all at once. And then, it was too late.

Without her presence, I started hanging out with the kids from my soccer team more, and more. I told them about all my problems with her. Their solution? They wanted me to prank her. I wanted to fit in. So, I agreed.

Maybe I was too busy with soccer, or maybe I just took her for granted. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her the way I always had. I saw how my actions hurt her. But, somewhere along the way i stopped seeing that. I stopped seeing how my actions hurt her.

But I didn’t think much about it at the time. After all, things had always worked themselves out between us, right? I guess I never thought I’d lose her, guess I thought that she’d always be there.

How wrong I was.

And seeing her now after graduation, getting ready to go to college and saying goodbye to friends for one last time, I can't help but remember a time when things were so much simpler.

Age, 7. Grade, 2

“Lan, wait up” she yelled, peddling her feet. I slowed my bike down and turned to face her.

“Hurry up! You're being slow.” she peddled faster. Too fast. I watched in slow motion as she rides over a rock, flies through the air as if it’s molasses, then falls in what seems the same way a feather falls through the air. Then promptly crashes into a trashcan, scattering trash all around and on top of her.

I quickly stopped my bike and ran to her. She was sitting there, covered in trash from the trash can, pouting. As I stood over her, and saw her covered in trash, I almost laughed. “Stop! It’s really not funny” she sniffled, though she now seemed a little happier.

“I've bin waiting for this to happen” I joke, hoping to make her laugh.

“It's really not that funny” she snorts while giggling.

“Yeah, well you’re still laughing” I argue. As she struggles to her feet, I realize I should probably help her. As I move to put her arm around my shoulder, she shoves me off.

“I don't need your help, butthead” she says, crossing her arms and stares at me with her lips pursed.

“Sorry, man, chill.” I say, not really understanding why she didn't want help.

“I got worse when I first started playing volleyball, it's just a little scrape on my knee. It’ll heal”

"Ok "I mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

As we walked home, we talked about silly things, like how funny she looked covered in trash, or about the people we didn't like at school. Before we parted ways, she threw her arms around me and pressed a quick, fleeting kiss that was gone as soon as it started to my cheek. “Bye Lando! I'll see you tomorrow at school!” she said over her shoulder as she ran home.

“Bye” I yell, after she had already disappeared into the house, my cheeks still red.

She had always been brave in her own way. Whether it was running into a trash can then getting back up with a skinned knee and no tears, or hiding her fears behind that stubborn smile of hers, she never changed. She was always the same, brave girl I had known since I was a kid. I wish I had known then how much that bravery would change the course of our friendship.

Age, 12 Grade 7.

The ferris wheel creaked more and more the higher up it went, carrying us higher, and higher into the night sky. Below we could see the rest of the fair, all the people enjoying themselves just like we are.

Her posture was slumped, and she was practically shaking on the little metal bench that lines the side of the carriage.

“Are you scared?” I ask. This wasn't a very normal occurrence, and I was honestly a little surprised.

“What? Me? No! Of course not. I don't get scared” she responded, her voice shaky, and honestly not very convincing.

“Hey, it's okay if you are scared. We all have things we are scared of; it doesn't make you weak.” I say in a soft tone, understanding when to tease and when to be comforting.

“I'm not scared.”

“Yeah? Good, me neither. Honestly, it's really nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. It’s really nice being up here.”

“I guess it is pretty nice.”

“It's really pretty,” I say with a sigh.

“It is,” she responds with an airy voice.

Little did I know that while I was staring at the sky, she was looking at me.

Ever since that night on the ferris wheel, I had developed a liking for stars. She learned more about stars for me, though I didn't know that then. I thought it was just a coincidence, not something carefully planned. Ever since then, we would spend nights under the stars together, gazing upwards.

Age, 15. Grade 9.

“And that one’s named Altair” she said, pointing up at the brightest star in the sky.

“How do you know this?” I ask while chuckling.

“I learned it when I was in 8th grade for my science fair project. I won.”

“I know, you’ve only told me like a million times.”

“I have not!”

“Uh, yes you have.”

“Excuse yo- wow, it's like, really cold.”

“Here,” I say, shrugging my sweatshirt off. “Take it.”

“No, it's fine really. I don't need it, I’m fine.”

“If you don't take it, I’m actually gonna go insane!”

“Fine” she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“You're welcome.”

“Lando?”

“Yeah?”

“We'll always be best friends, right?”

“Of course we will. No matter what.”

“No matter what.”

Back then, No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep. Before our future became closer and closer, before I found out she would be going to Yale. No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep under the soft lighting of the stars, but under the fluorescent lights in the highschool hallways, and the pressure from the guys, the promise broke apart.

“Hey Lan!” she exclaims, coming up to me “Hey,” I respond. “Where are your glasses?” I ask. She has always loved her glasses. She always said it gave her more personality, though I disagree. She has plenty of personality already.

“Oh, I just switched to contacts for volleyball! It's too impractical to have to play without being able to see, ya know? Do you like them?” I actually think that she looks stunning with or without glasses, but since my friends from the soccer team are with me, I just say

“ I dunno man, it kinda makes your eyes look too close together.” I feel absolutely terrible as I practically see her deflate. Her normally radiant smile disappears, her shoulders begin to tremble, and her eyes go glassy. At first, she didn't say anything. I could practically see her brain thinking of ways to respond. She was trying to act relaxed about it, but I knew her well. She doesn't do relaxed about these types of things.

I hear the boys snickering from behind me, making stupid comments about how “he is so right” and “how can she not see that herself?” and “why does she talk so much?”. I'm actually about to turn around and tell them to shut up, and that I am the only one allowed to tease her like that, but before I can, she says something.

“Oh. Well, uh, I should be going to class. I'll see you later, Lando,” she mumbles. Her normally confident posture seemed impossibly timid and shy. Her posture didn't say ‘see you later’. It said ‘leave me alone’.

While she walked down the hallway, the only thing I could focus on was the fact that she didn't call me Lan .

The next few days, I tried finding her, though she kept on avoiding me. Finally, I found her sitting outside at the tables, eating her lunch alone.

“Hey” I greet softly, sitting down at the table outside.

“What do you want?” she responded, her tone sharp. She was wearing her glasses again.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said on Tuesday.” I say, barely audible.

“If you're going to say something, say it louder.”

“I wanted to apologize for what I said.”

“Do you? Do you really? Or is this just another sick prank you and your friends are playing on me, huh? I stood there and took it in tenth grade, when you made fun of my brother, who, by the way looks up to you, in the cafeteria. I stood there and took it in eleventh grade when you texted everyone from my phone things that I would never, ever say about someone and especially TO someone, posted things on instagram that I would NEVER post, and then humiliated me by making me think that you were seriously hurt, then jump up and say “it's a prank” after i started crying? I even stood there and took it when you told me that my eyes were too close together! The one thing you know I'm insecure about, and you make fun of it? You’ve changed Lando! You and your stupid friends have made high school horrible for me! And even though you've been rude, and you've been mean, and you've in general been a nightmare to be around, I'm still in love with you, and I have been for the last 10 years! And I'm done with this! I will not, will not sit here and let you bully me because I’m your ‘best friend’! I stayed your friend because I thought you would notice me! I thought you would realize, but you didn't! And I’m done waiting, okay? I’m done. Bye, Lando.”

By now, she was crying. Before I could respond to her and apologize, I hear laughing and jeering coming from behind me. I turn around and march over to where the boys are standing. They chuckle upon seeing me, and I absolutely lose it.

“Are you guys actually stupid? You made me lose the most important thing in my life, because you ‘thought it would be funny’? She is worth more than you guys will ever be. She was a better friend, a better athlete, but most importantly, a better person than you guys! I’m done with y’all.”

I turn back to where she was standing, but she's not there anymore.

The next few days, I look for her. I see her a couple of times, but she always manages to avoid me.

One night, as I’m packing for college, I hear someone knocking on the front door.

I run down the stairs, thinking it’s the pizza I ordered for me and my sister, but it’s not. It’s her.

“Uhm, I just wanted to return this.” she says, handing me my sweatshirt that i gave to her 3 years ago. “I just thought I should return it before I leave for Yale.”

“When do you leave?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“Tomorrow.”

The second I hear that word, my world stops. I hazily thank her for bringing the sweatshirt back, then slam the door. I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs, and sitting down on my bed, my mind running a thousand miles a minute.

I’m going to have to live without the person who was there for me at every problem, at every bad game, at every milestone in my life, and I lost her because of my own mistakes. I lost her because I let those stupid kids influence my decisions. I lost her because I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. And now, I’ll never get her back.

I was right. I never got her back. And deep down inside, I knew I was never going to get her back. I knew this when I met Emma. I knew this when I proposed to Emma. I knew this when I invited her to our wedding. But that truly, did not prepare me for when I saw her.

“And do you, Lando Norris, take Emma Sand to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part? ” asked the priest, his voice echoing through the church that held all of our friends and loved ones.

“ I do.”

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see her, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. After years of knowing her, I could almost hear her thinking ‘that should have been me.’

And I feel horrible and disgusting and gross thinking this on my wedding day, but I'm inclined to agree. It should have been her. And it would have been, if not for my own stupidity.

And seeing her, brought me right back to all those years ago. And made me wonder; what happened to ‘no matter what.’

#f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris angst #f1 angst

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farfaras · 2 days ago

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I think I got an ex but I forgot him.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Ao3 link.

“Do you really think this is necessary?” Asked Jonathan. “I mean, in what context would we even do this?”

‘This’ being kissing.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I'm a PDA fanatic, Jon. And most people in the party know this. They saw me with Nancy.”

Jon seemed to be debating this. “That's… a point.”

“What's wrong with kissing me? Kissing is not that big of a deal. It's good with anyone.” Steve sighed, he didn't understand why this was an argument.

“Okay,” Jon put his hands up. “Say we kiss and it's normal and not weird, even when we used to not like each other not long ago.” Steve motioned for him to continue. “I say we establish a limit of kisses per day.” That sounds fair.

“How many?” Steve asked.

“How about, say four?” Jonathan proposed.

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Like four times? Or just four kisses? Be specific here.” Steve needed confirmation, and he was hoping it was times, because who counts kisses?

“Four times. Sure, Steve. Whatever.” Jon managed to read his mind somehow.

“Okay then, kiss me.” Steve said.

“Now?” He seemed hesitant.

“That's the whole reason I came over today, we were gonna practice our displays of affection.” Steve explained. He called Jonathan in the morning. Talked about how his hand holding during the coming out was great and those cheek kisses were cute and all, but they needed a bigger repertoire.

“Just thought we were gonna start smaller.” Jon muttered, kinda sassy like a kid uttering something under his breath so his mom doesn't hear.

Steve laughed. “Like what?”

“I don't know.” Jon was lost in thought for a moment. “Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “We do movie nights sometimes.”

“Okay. What does that have to do with anything?” Steve asked. People really needed to learn to explain themselves better.

“We can practice how we'd act there. You know, during the movie. How would we sit?” Jon finally explained his line of reasoning.

“Huh.” They could do that. “Ideas?”

“Well, we could do a simple arms around the shoulder.” Jon said.

“Boring!” Steve sing-songed. “That's not me at all. Doesn't even feel like something I would do.”

“It seems exactly like something I would do though.” Jonathan said. “What would you do then?”

“Making out, kissing necks, I don't know!”

Jon's eyes widened. “While other people are there? No, you wouldn't.”

“While they're sitting on my lap even.” Steve wiggled his eyebrows.

“Huh, maybe that's it.”

Steve’s face was back to confusion. “What?”

“The middle ground.” Jon continued. Steve just gave him his best please explain what you're saying eyes. “An arm around shoulders is too boring for you, and making out seems too much for me. So maybe being on someone's lap is the compromise.”

“Without making out.” Steve just wanted to confirm he was understanding.

Jon gave him a flat and unimpressed stare. “Yes, Steve. Without making out.”

“Okay, I knew you were smart, Byers.”

“I thought it was,” Jon was using air quotes now, “‘that's babe to you.’”

Steve lowered his voice. “I can call you babe” he also fucking winked.

“Save it for the show.”

Steve got up and sat on a chair near Jonathan's desk. “Okay, come here then.”

“Did we just assume I'm the one who's gonna sit on your lap?” Jon raised his eyebrows.

“Oh my god, if you wanted to feel my ass on you, all you had to do was ask.” Steve used a fake put upon voice so Jon'd know he was just teasing. He stood up and waited for him to sit.

Jon just stared at him, then burst out laughing. “Okay, we can try your way first.”

Steve sat back again on the chair. Jonathan didn't seem like he knew what to do next, he was just standing in front of him. “What are you waiting for? An invitation?”

“I don't think I've ever been this close to a guy before.” Jon pondered.

“Jesus christ,” Steve rolled his eyes. “We've definitely been this close before, maybe not while being friendly, but we've been close.”

“Right.” Jon turned around and sat down. Steve’s hands moved, his right hand on Jon's waist and the other grasped one of Jon's hands, after trailing on his arm.

“Put your arm around me, Jon.” Steve said and Jon listened.

After he did that, they were able to be face to face. “This is not so weird, is it?” Jonathan said.

“Nah. Actually ‘s kinda nice.” Their faces were close, so Steve backed up a little to send a smile Jonathan's way. “Can we kiss now?”

Jon just rolled his eyes at him and giggled. “You're persistent, Harrington.”

Steve just shrugged. “We're going to have to do it eventually.”

“Fine.” Jonathan sighed, looking at his ceiling. So resigned.

“You're acting like it's such a chore, should I be offended?” Steve quizzed. He wasn't actually offended, he thought it was funny. And also hoped Jon wasn't uncomfortable or anything.

“I'm just teasing. It really isn't a chore to kiss an attractive guy at all.” Jon put their intertwined hands on his lap.

“I knew you thought I was hot.” Steve got closer.

“I never told you because I know you're full of yourself and self absorbed, of course.” Steve mocked offense to that. “But we're friends now, so. I like you even if you're full of yourself and self absorbed.”

“Aw, I like you too Jonny boy.” Steve cooed.

“Please don't call me that.” Jon cringed.

“Do you prefer sweetie pie?” Steve rubbed their noses together to maximize the cheesiness.

“I thought we were gonna kiss.” Jon pulled back.

“Oh, now you wanna be kissing.” Steve teased. Jon gave him one of his many flat stares, Steve was getting used to them. “Okay! I'm gonna kiss you now.”

Steve moved the hand that was resting on Jon's waist to put it under his jaw, while Jonathan put his hand on the back of Steve's neck. They were still holding hands, it seemed like a natural thing a couple would do, right? Anyway, Steve guided him until their breaths were mingling, Jon just seemed to be waiting on him. So Steve closed the gap between them.

The kiss was innocent, chaste and close mouthed, lasted a couple seconds and then they were parting. Steve made a face, he communicated through his expression that they could do better, so he went back in. This time his lips were slightly parted, and he thumbed Jon's jaw so he'd do the same. That was moderately successful, but Steve felt like it wasn't enough. He put his fingers on Jon's chin so he could lead him to a more open mouth kiss. The way his tongue entered Jon's mouth was languid and deliberate in his exploration.

Jon made a pleased sound, it vibrated through him and it was like a reflex, the sound of someone being kissed and liking it just made him act on instinct now.

He started trailing kisses on Jon's jaw, then the neck. He let go of Jon's hand, which Jon just used that freedom to sink it in his hair. While Steve rested his on Jon's thigh, trailing a little higher than anticipated. Steve went back to kissing Jonathan. It punched out a tiny whimper out of him, maybe Steve surprised him a bit. This kiss was still slow, like the last one. The difference is that Jon was giving him tongue now, too. They weren't fighting for dominance whatsoever, it still felt like Steve was leading. He felt himself getting a little hot under the collar, and they were running out of breath so he backed off.

Jon's eyes were still closed. “Wow,” he opened his eyes. “That was way better that I thought it was gonna be.”

Huh? “You thought I'd be a bad kisser?!” Steve exclaimed. Even though he was thinking the exact same thing, for different reasons though. Jonathan was into dudes, and Steve considered himself to be a good kisser so it shouldn't be a bad experience for Jon at all! However Steve wasn't into dudes (right?), so it was a surprise that he didn't think this experience was at all bad. It was even pleasant. Could straight guys enjoy kissing a guy? It was just kissing after all.

“I didn't say that!” Jon huffed. “I just thought you'd be more awkward about kissing a guy, that was not awkward at all.”

“It wasn't. I wasn't.”

“It was actually kinda nice.” Jon stated.

“Oh, come on.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Just kinda?” They were still in the same position, Jon's hands had moved to his shoulders. But Steve still had his hands on Jon's waist and thigh. Since Jon's head was above his, it was easy to flutter his eyelashes for him.

Jonathan just laughed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, it was very nice.” He gave in.

Steve impulsively gave him a quick peck and moved them to sit up. “Okay, let's try that again but now I get to sit on your lap.”

Jonathan looked confused, kinda whiplashed, but complied and sat down. Steve, instead of just sitting like a normal person, actually straddled Jon's lap like a crazed little guy. Jonathan, in a turn of events, blushed and didn't even know where to put his hands. Steve easily placed his on Jon's neck.

“This is not what we agreed on.” He wouldn't look Steve in the eyes.

“I just wanted to see if I could fluster you,” Steve lied. “I see now that I could, now back to the original programming.” How anyone didn't realize how much of a dork Steve was, was still a mystery to him. He mirrored Jon's position now. His hands still on Jon's neck. “You can touch me, I'm not gonna bite.” Jonathan shot him a look with suspicion laced in it. “Okay, maybe if you want me to.” Steve joked. He was almost sure it was a joke, anyway.

Jonathan hugged his middle. It was cozy, sitting like this. “Now what?” He asked.

Steve shrugged. “Wanna make out? It was fun.”

Jonathan looked at him like he was crazy. “For fun? You'd do that just for fun?”

“Got anything better to do?”

Jon thought about that for about five seconds before he was shrugging and shaking his head no.

As Steve was driving home, after a make out session with none other than Jonathan fucking Byers (they made out for like 20 minutes before Will actually walked in on them, the horror, which actually just helped them gain credibility for this fake dating spiel), he started to contemplate a possibility that maybe and just maybe a straight guy wouldn't have done what he did today.

And listen, kissing has always been one of Steve's favorite things to do. So he thought that no matter who it was it'd be good, or at least okay. But it wasn't just okay. It wasn't even just good. It was hot, and it was sensual, and if they kept going or changed positions he's almost positive that he'd have ended up with a problem.

So now he was confused. When he got home he needed to call Robin. Wait, what was he gonna tell her?

“You what?!” She yelled. Robin was pacing around the room. “You're an absolute moron. Oh my god, you're a moron and you're my moron.”

“You gotta understand! I- I panicked completely and you of all people should understand!” He tried to justify himself. Steve was just digging his own hole at this point.

He wasn't going to tell Robin about him fake dating Jonathan. He wasn't! But then he called her and she didn't even let him talk, said she was bored on their day off and invited herself over. Next thing he knew, he was spilling his guts all over the living room with Robin as his witness.

He really can't keep secrets from her.

“If you ignored him, he would've left you alone eventually!” She was talking about Dustin.

“You don't know that!” His voice was high. “Besides you didn't see the look on his face when he told Jon and me that our relationship might help someone who's struggling with their sexuality!” He still remembered that stupid and concerned face. “He was so concerned as a friend and he wanted to support them but didn't know how!”

“Oh god, does he know about me? Am I that obvious?” Robin paled.

“He was trying to set you up with me, he doesn't know about you.”

“Then… who…? Oh.” She calmed down and inhaled quickly just a second later. “I've had some suspicion about that kid for a while.”

“Yeah, well. Apparently Dustin too.”

“His heart's in the right place.” Robin sat down next to him on the couch.

“This isn't even what I wanted to talk to you about.” He complained.

“There's more to this absurdity?”

“So, Jon and I were practicing our kissing,”

“Of course you were.” She said.

“Shut up.” He fixed her a, hopefully, stern look. “We actually ended up making out for about 20 minutes, my suggestion by the way, and I found myself,” He should've thought about his words sooner.

“What?” Robin asked. She seemed patient with him, a ridiculous change of pace from a minute ago.

“Jon is a guy, and I enjoyed making out with him.”

Silence.

“Would you, do you think,” Steve needed to think before he spoke. “Do you think you'd enjoy kissing a guy?”

Robin made a disgusted face. “I would most definitely not enjoy kissing a guy.”

“Okay, but see, I always thought that kissing is just kissing and it would be good with anyone.” Steve explained his point of view, even though it was starting to sound like he was weird for it.

“Even before you knew what it was to kiss a guy?” She asked slowly.

“I mean, yeah, I've thought about guys I'd kiss before.” He responded.

“I've never seen a guy I'd be willing to kiss, Steve. Never even considered it.” She was shaking her head. Her eyes were so inquisitive, and Steve was starting to feel like he was under a microscope. “Maybe think more about that.”

He nodded.

“You want to watch a movie?” He needed a distraction.

“Always.” He really loved her.

The movie nights they had weren't strictly planned on a calendar, but they had them at least once a month it seemed like. Tonight was one of those. Steve liked having all of his friends at his house, it was comforting.

Tonight he wasn't even sure what they were watching, it was Lucas’ turn to pick a movie and he must have gone and rented it at family video while he wasn't working ‘cause he didn't remember Lucas renting anything.

The first people to arrive were obviously Robin and Eddie. They usually hung out a bit before the actual movie night, sometimes they stayed the night too. They let themselves in as always and sat down with him.

“Hey guys, want something to drink?” He offered.

“No, thanks, if I want anything I'll get it later.” Robin replied.

“You got coke, Stevie?” Eddie stood up to rummage his fridge.

“Yeah, it must be somewhere in there.” He followed Eddie into the kitchen. “Thought you'd want a beer.”

Eddie emerged with his drink in hand. He shrugged. “Night's still young.”

Steve smiled. “It isn't even night yet.”

“Exactly.”

Once everyone was there, all the kids and Jonathan too, they settled in to watch the movie.

Normally, Steve was in between Robin and Eddie for movie nights. However now that Jonathan and him were “together” they put their plan in action. Before, when they practiced their PDA, they decided that Steve was the one that would sit on Jon's lap. They just felt more comfortable that way, maybe because they spent more time that way but now that was irrelevant. They wouldn't change plans right at that moment.

So Jonathan sat on an individual couch and Steve followed. Right next to them was the couch he normally sat on with Eddie and Robin. He saw Robin visibly pout when she realized she wouldn't be able to sleep on his shoulder when she inevitably grew bored of the film. She gave herself a whole five seconds to mourn her bestie and then she schooled her expression and melted on the couch.

He was so amused with Robin's reaction that he hadn't noticed Eddie's. He actually looked mad. His brows were furrowed, his eyes didn't look happy at all. And his arms were crossed like he couldn't even believe what he was seeing. When he realized that Steve had caught his eye, he looked away and tried to relax. Emphasis on tried.

Steve really wanted to believe that Eddie's reaction was because he was gonna miss Steve being next to him and Robin, and not because of the nature of the relationship that Jon and Steve were portraying. He liked cuddling with Eddie and Robin during movie nights. They're his best friends, and he liked to think they enjoyed that time with him too. So a reaction to that change wasn't totally unwarranted, he just hoped that was the whole reason for it.

At some point during the movie, Jonathan and Steve did share a kiss. It was brief, nothing serious. But right after it happened, Steve heard someone standing up, and he turned to see Eddie leaving to enter the kitchen. He, of course, followed him.

Eddie was just standing in front of the sink.

Steve cleared his throat to announce himself. Eddie soon pretended to be looking for something in the fridge.

“What was that?” Steve asked.

Eddie looked back at him, finally. “What was what?” He closed the fridge, with his hands empty ‘cause he wasn't looking for anything really.

“Is there something you want to tell me Eddie?” He really, really didn't want something to be there.

Eddie crossed his arms. “What are you even implying?” His tone wasn't entirely defensive, it was also hesitant.

“You just, walked out right after,” Steve sighed. “Do you have a problem with me and Jon? I know I already asked you the other day but, you really are acting weird and it's making me nervous because you're one of my best friends and if you do have a problem it's gonna be so-” Steve didn't get to finish because Eddie was right in front of him suddenly and his hands were on his shoulders.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie used the tone of voice he used when he calmed Steve down from a nightmare. “You, you think I'm homophobic?” Eddie sounded pained.

For some reason, Steve realized he was misty eyed. He shook his head. “I would never think that about you, but the way you're acting…”

Eddie crushed him, he was hugging him so tight and Steve will always hug Eddie back.

Eddie stepped back. “I'm not homophobic. Quite um, the opposite actually.”

Steve did not understand subtlety, why did everyone forget that? “I don't- what?”

Eddie smiled fondly at him. He looked down, seemed to be finding courage to say something. He looked back up determined. “I'm gay, Steve.”

“Oh.” Steve nodded. “Thank you for telling me, you know for, trusting me.”

“I trust you the most, sweetheart.” They hugged again, it was longer this time.

When they separated, the look of confusion that was so common on Steve these days came back in full force. “Then why have you been acting so weird lately?” Steve asked.

Eddie opened his mouth, then closed it. He repeated that one, two or three other times. “I- you know, I was totally just,”

“Yeah?”

Eddie shrugged. “I guess I was jealous?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Steve thought that Eddie didn't seem completely sure about what he was saying.

“I'm lonely, okay?! I'm single and you parade around with your new boyfriend, which I should just be happy that you can because let's be honest, where could you guys act like this? Nowhere else!” Eddie was rambling now, but Steve understood what he was trying to say, mostly. “It's just, hard. You know?”

“I'm sorry.” Steve found himself saying.

“Eh. What are you gonna do?” Eddie seemed genuinely sad. Steve hated seeing him like this. He squeezed Steve’s shoulder and went back to the living room.

Steve just stood there for a really long time contemplating what just happened. He had another friend who was into guys. Eddie liked guys. Steve maybe also could like guys. Maybe. Did he? And why did this news leave him so shook? He felt like he could float but also like his stomach had a weight to it that had never been there before. And- god now there was a flutter.

Steve was so fucked.

Taglist below.

This is actually the last time I use the taglist (that is over a year old btw). So if you want to keep reading you can either follow the tag "I think I got an ex but I forgot him" or "mer writes sometimes". Thank you for reading!

Tag list.

@iliedaboutthechocolates @my2amgaythoughts @frostbitesoul @kaylakenobi @octopus-in-cripsis @leethegay @yourebuckingkiddingme @marvel-ous-m @messrs-weasley @thevidaren @princessdave @gleek4twd @ntwolf69 @lololol-1234 @fruitmix @thelady-mary @duckyreads @tauntedperfume @pyrohonk @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @raisedbylibrarians @flwerkitty @goodolefashionedloverboi @clumsiluni @lexyvey @martinskis-lydias @gay-stranger-things @gregre369 @woven-of-stingers @addelyin @suddenlyinlove @random-thoughts-004 @trashcanniballecter @weirdasshomo @i-have-three-feelings @finalmoondragon @fancyorangepeels @infinitetrashbag @tartarusfairy @cattywompus1 @eddielives1986 @daleyeahson @simplycodey @satan-is-obsessed @paintsplatteredandimperfect @thefailcollection @alohastitch0626 @r0binscript @ledleaf @evix-syne666 @robin-is-sleepy @unhealthobsesions @estrellami-1 @catlovesfandoms @hellomynameismoo @stardust-era @omgshesinsane @emma-elsa-0000 @bye-zai @contraclockwork @beckkthewreck @newtstabber @aceflavouredyougurt @mistlafey @justalittleobsessedhere @chaoskiro @vhelt @u-a-wizard-jamie @callas-shitshow @pineapplecrispy

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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago

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Another weird thing about the TME/TMA thing is that the people who push it often believe that any suffering or bigotry we face for being transmasc is by nature lesser. When like I can list on and on the social alienation and violence we face and have faced myself as a transmasc person.

And also it doesn’t fucking matter what intent a bigot has behind their violence, if they’re pointing their violence at me I’m still a victim of that violence! I had a friend almost got attacked while walking down the street cause he’s a trans dude who was wearing drag. Like aw man sorry you got attacked by violent bigots, it seems however your labels don’t match up with that bigots intent. Guess what happened to u doesn’t mean anything!!!! What a weird concept.

i'm sorry you experience it as well. it sucks ass, i'm so tired of people trying to weigh transmasculine oppression vs. transfeminine oppression on a scale to see which one's heavier. like stop that, why are we trying to compare situations to see who has it worse? why are we telling people who are also oppressed that their struggle is "lesser"? what does that accomplish? all it does is hurt the person being downplayed. it doesn't uplift trans women to put other people down. that's not how this works.

i really don't fucking understand this current mindset of "person who has it The Worst gets to talk all the time forever for as long as they want and be as rude as they want and everyone who has it Less Bad has to shut the fuck up and sit with rapt attention and listen and never speak or comment or have an independent thought of their own on what they got lectured on." those people still have problems even if they're ""less"" bad, why do only certain groups of people get to talk about them? everyone in the queer community has problems, it doesn't matter the "severity," they all deserve to be discussed. and yet.

i'm really sorry that happened to your friend, holy shit. that is terrifying. but it happens. you're dead on the money. it doesn't matter what their intent is. they committed an act of violence. it does NOT matter what was going through the attacker's mind. they chose to commit an act of violence. sitting there on your petty ass high horse going "well akshually, i have a transfem friend who got attacked by TWO bigots and it was way worse so be grateful and shut up," isn't helping a goddamn soul. please stop shutting people up when they talk about their pain and trauma.

i don't know how else to tell every other transfem and trans woman on this website that we are not the only trans people who suffer. like i really need every single one of us to step down off the damn horse already and admit that we aren't the only fucking queers that suffer because we're not. we can't keep controlling the narrative like this. that's what we're doing at this stage. we are COMPLETELY controlling the narrative, making it ENTIRELY about us and our suffering and how we have it bad. we DO have it bad. but other people do, too. y'all GOTTA accept that other people suffer. y'all GOTTA accept that trans men are assaulted and killed every single day for being trans men. y'all GOTTA accept that most trans men don't and will never benefit from patriarchy. y'all GOTTA accept that transmascs and trans men have it really, really damn bad too.

i am honestly just so sick of the victim complex already. can we finally discuss how these currently emerging transfeminine and trans woman victim complexes are just out of fucking control at this point. i've wanted to talk about this forever and it's just getting worse right in front of my damn eyes. i've been in transfeminine spaces for a long time, but lately i just don't have a single desire to spend time in them. way too much arguing. way too much hostility. way too much anger directed at the wrong people. yes we are miserable, yes we suffer, yes we are heavily oppressed, yes we ARE very much victims. but so many transfems and trans women make that their entire ass personality and it's gotta stop.

womanhood isn't about being a victim. i don't know if i like the idea of making "woman" and "victim" synonymous. that's not empowering. that's not feminist. if you only see yourself as a victim, that's what you'll be. you will never progress to being a survivor if you keep thinking like that. you can't turn being a victim into a personality. it's a state of being, but it's not an identity. you are relinquishing power when you voluntarily identify as a victim. you are surrendering your control voluntarily if you keep throwing your hands up in the air and giving up like this.

someone else talking about their suffering doesn't diminish ours. someone else talking about their pain is not somehow an attack on you. trans men and transmascs talking is not an attack on you or transfemininity or trans womanhood. trans men existing are not an attack on you! stop with the victim complex already! it's not empowering! not everything is an attack! the world sucks but not everything is an attack on trans women and transfems!!!

i don't fucking care how much it offends you that people other than you suffer, but they're not talking about their suffering to make you feel like yours is lesser.

so why are you doing it to them?

#asks #answers #transandrophobia #assault mention #assault tw #abuse tw #abuse

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f4rtnite · 3 days ago

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Bkdk online dating AU Preview!

Midoriya went home, took off his shoes, and greeted his mom. He went straight to his room and on the computer. Discord was already open and now Midoriya could finally relax, talk with his online friends, and forget about the struggles of his daily life.

While online he would mainly talk with his friends and moderate chats. He would always share fun facts about All Might and was constantly showing off his collection. A lot of people would turn to him when they needed to find specific merchandise. He was also an expert at spotting differences between bootlegs and official products.

He gets a notification, “@exsplosive_might111 has joined the server”

Midoriya immediately welcomed the new user and sends them the rules and verification process. Afterwards the new user posts an introduction. The introduction had quickly caught Midoriya’s attention since there weren't that many 13 year old boys like him in the server. This made him super excited and he started up a conversation with him as soon as possible.

@allmight_is_the_goat0715

Hey @ explosive_might111 you're the same age as me, that's so cool :D There’s not that many young ones here :(

@explosive_might111

Omg really? That’s so cool! can I send a friend request??? :3

Shortly after, they immediately start talking about everything All Might. Midoriya was impressed by how much this guy knew. They started talking about limited edition All Might merch. They both challenged each other to see who had the most/rarest merchandise. Midoriya had more by a long shot, but they noticed that they both had the same limited edition holographic all might card.

Allmight_is_the_goat0715

Wow where did you get that card??? :0 I've hardly met anyone who has it :DDD

Explosive_might111

Got it from a vending machine. Weren't they exclusive to only a few cities here???? I got mine in Musutafu :333

Allmight_is_the_goat0715

OMG ME TOO!1!1!1!1 we must live around the same area :DDD

They had stayed up talking all night. Despite it being a school night and the fact that Bakugou usually goes to bed early, they never stopped chatting. Midoriya, or his online nickname Mikumo, had told his new friend all about his life. He mentioned how he gets bullied but did not bring up that he is quirkless.

Bakugou, or nickname Aka (means red) had told “Mikumo” bits and pieces about his daily life. He felt bad for his new friend who was unfortunately getting bullied, but he felt guilty because Bakugou knows that he's a bully himself. They shared many things about themselves with each other. It was 3am before they had finally decided to go to bed.

Midoriya logged off of discord. He didn't expect to chat with the new user for so long, but he's glad that he did. Most of his online friends were much older than him so it was nice to be able to talk to someone his age and be able to relate to them.

Midoriya turned off his computer and put his phone to charge. He was really looking forward to the next day. Perhaps classes will be easier to sit through since now he has his new friend that he can talk to throughout the day. Midoriya just hopes that he's as active as him so they can talk all the time. He also got excited knowing that his new friend Aka could potentially live close to him. It's been so long since he last had a friend in person. His mom told him to never ever meet up with people he's met online, but Midoriya wouldn't mind meeting this guy sometime.

Did you enjoy reading this? Read the full completed fic here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/58319551/chapters/148525768

#bkdk #mha bkdk #ao3 #ao3 writer #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #bkdk fic #bnha bkdk #izuku midoriya #mha fanfiction

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erumai-maadu · 2 days ago

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part 2 to this post of analyzing everything we see of Tenten from the show and data books to help me get a consistent character for her!

this one is gonna go over moments from all the post-series filler arcs she’s in from naruto original, or her genin years. this will also include the three genin-era fillers from Shippuden that she's in, up to the second chunin exams arc. These are all anime-only fillers, so these can be as canon or non-canon as you’d like them to be. We get quite a few moments where Tenten feels OOC to me (because yknow. filler), and I’ll point these out.

Some of these episodes aren't particularly important for Tenten's character, but I'll go through them anyway bc all that she ever gets is crumbs anyway. If you ever wanna do a Tenten rewatch of the show, these are some good filler arcs to watch.

I’ll be going in chronological order of the show’s (terrible and unclear) timeline. Unless specified to be from shippuden, the episode numbers I’m referencing are from the original series.

Jounin Leader! (Shippuden 360)

This is one episode of a long set of flashback episodes to Kakashi’s past, so this is more focused on him angsting than on Team Gai, but we get a few moments here. This one is about Kakashi and Gai’s time as a jounin sensei, and gives us more insight into Team Gai's first year as genin.

We get to see Team Gai’s “bell test” which is them just fighting Gai and showing him their determination. We get a few moments of Tenten using pure taijutsu, which is cool!

This isn’t about Tenten but I have to say it anyway. Gai is such a good sensei.

Just one scene earlier, we watch Kakashi brutally beat up three 12 year olds, and then we see Gai with his kids and he barely even touches them during their fight. He’s pretty much entirely on the defense, just redirecting blows and making space for himself. His most injurious attack is a kick that creates enough wind to blow them back several feet.

He really just wears them down and pushes them to their limit stamina-wise to see if they continue to fight. And they do! And he’s so excited by it!! it’s so cute, I love Gai so fucking much.

They take a little break after they all pass, and end up talking about Kakashi, who failed his team back to the Academy. It’s Tenten who brings this up, going “Good thing we didn’t get that other sensei that everyone talks about.” and looks around like she’s about to share some shady gossip. I love her sm, little busybody. She’s the one that tells her teammates all the tea in that scene, and they’re just sitting there like omg whattttttt :0

I think this dynamic absolutely continues on forever, with Tenten keeping her boys up to date on all the gossip and goings-on throughout the years.

Then we skip forward a bit to the chunin exams for that year, where Gai asks his team if they want to participate. Lee says no, because he believes he isn’t ready. Gai asks Neji, who also says no, and Tenten. She says that they’ll all train hard, and then take the exams again next year, together.

Their bond is so cute to me, and Gai clearly agrees because this drives him to youthful tears and he’s seen bragging to Asuma and Kurenai that he’s so lucky to have students like them.

Anyway, clearly some development happened with their bond during their first year as genin, and now Tenten doesn’t want to leave either of them behind or take the exam without them. She’s grown to care for them a lot in that first year. Neither want to leave Lee behind, even if Neji won’t admit it, and I love that sm. Team Gai forever 😭😭😭

The Neji Chronicles (Shippuden 192)

I already went over most of the Tenten moments in this episode in my last post, but a few more small details.

When Neji mentions that "perhaps I've made too many blind assumptions about the way things are", Tenten looks more relieved than surprised by this. It feels like something her, Lee, and Gai have been telling Neji for a while. I think Naruto was the push Neji needed to actually listen to/internalize everything that his teammates have already been saying to him.

Tenten actually looks annoyed to have Kiba along, probably because he was talking shit about Neji literally five seconds earlier and she yelled at him for that, but she accepts it because she knows they need the numbers.

She tells Neji to go ahead without her, and gives him a little wink, which is important to me bc Tenten is so cute! I love her sm

This episode also ends with the iconic ending 15 of Team Gai sparring with Naruto.

Deploy! Team Tenten! (Shippuden 184)

This episode takes place after the Konoha Crush arc. Tenten, Neji, and Naruto are sent out on a mission to get ninja tool supplies for the village from a research laboratory. This also my all-time favorite episode of Naruto.

Gai picks Tenten to lead the mission, and she's immediately surprised. Gai admits that he would usually pick Neji, but she's better suited for it on this mission.

We get a lot of Naruto and Tenten being cute asf in this episode, I love their sibling-like bond so much. She makes fun of him like I do with my brother, saying that he's lame, and when he tries to say maybe Neji should lead the team instead they start fighting.

Neji tells them to lay it off because it's just a D-rank mission, and then once she says let's get going Naruto's immediately back on board. Peak siblings.

I headcanon that Tenten and Naruto knew each other from the orphanage, and that's why they act this close with each other.

Through this whole episode, Tenten is more excited about new ninja tools than the actual mission, which is why I think her interest in weapons has been there for much longer than Shippuden 237 implies. She can immediately tell that all of the inventions he shows them are kind of useless, which isn't hard but again, shows that she knows weaponry very well.

She's also rather... I wouldn’t say rude, but not particularly well-mannered wth Io. At least in the english dub, she speaks fairly casually, and ends up yelling at him quite a lot. This goes with the first headcanon from this post from @tentenismybitch that Tenten isn't quite as well-mannered as Lee or Neji because nobody ever taught her that at the Konoha orphanage. It's not quite as bad as Naruto, but it's actually pretty close to that level of informality so. I'm sure she picked some stuff up from Gai during her first year as genin and that's why she's a little bit better than Naruto, but still a bit abrasive and not perfectly well-mannered.

She explains Team Gai's usual formation to Naruto, which is Neji, Lee, and Gai doing close combat with Tenten backing them up from a distance. This makes good use of Tenten's pinpoint aim, and to me, also shows that she has very good eyesight, like 20/10 vision (I'm a glasses wearer this is stuff I think abt sometimes LOL). She expresses a desire to fight on the front lines herself instead of always being backup.

Tenten can tell that Io and his apprentice have a passion for invention, which I think she also recognizes so well because she feels the same.

When they go through the trap that Io's set up, Tenten hands it off to Neji first, and he fails, and only then she says she's got it and gets through easily. This is really just supposed to show that even Neji can't do it but she can. I interpret this as a moment of Tenten's insecurity, reflexively leaving it to Neji because she underestimates herself ever since her fight with Temari.

She instantly recognizes the quality of the tools Io kept hidden, again showing how much of an expert she is with weapons. She also admits that getting through that trap was easy for her.

She relegates herself to support when the rogue ninja attack. When Neji gets knocked back, she quickly covers him by throwing some Fuma shuriken to put them on the defense and giving Neji some time to get up and recover. A good insight into Team Gai's usual formation and battle strategy.

Tenten figures out how to use Jidanda very quickly, and even Io comments on how well she uses it even though she's only seen it for maybe 30 seconds before starting to use it. He lets her take all the other tools she wants, and she seems a little disappointed, but takes Neji and Naruto's compliments.

Ah, My Hero Lady Tsunade! (Shippuden 237)

This episode is a full recap of Tenten’s genin years all the way up to Lee's surgery, so in a chronological sense it can fit anywhere before the second chunin exams arc. I’m just putting it here with the other shippuden genin era episodes.

This episode is pretty much entirely focused on Tenten and her self-worth, and while I talked about it a lot in the previous post, there’s a few more details I wanna go into.

In the opening scene, Tenten is shown on a playground listening to other girls talk but she doesn't really join in on the conversation. Interesting to me, since she grows up to be someone very personable and friendly, even with people she doesn't know well, so why is she different in this scene? We also don't see her with any sort of parental figure, implying that she likely doesn't have one.

So we move on from early childhood to her first year as a genin, and Tenten is shown to be the least physically strong of her teammates, lagging behind and struggling with most of the exercises they do. I will actually accept this because her main skill is accuracy and precision, not doing 1,000 pushups or running 500 laps. Every time they're doing the pushups or pull ups or whatever she's lagging behind after they get to like 1,100 so honestly she's not even doing bad at all.

When Gai tells her that Tsunade inherited the talents of the first Hokage, Tenten immediately asks him "are you saying talent is more important than determination?" This seems to be a real sore point for her throughout the episode, as she brings it up again and again. Again, she puts herself in with Lee in terms of talent, implying that she doesn't have any.

Clearly she underestimates herself, because even when she was trying to learn medical ninjutsu, she makes it up to the lecture of high-level medical ninjutsu, implying that she did make it past the lower levels! She fails to do the Mystical Palm Technique, but even Tsunade herself says it's hard to master in a different episode with Sakura. Tenten just doesn't have the fine-tuned level of chakra control to do higher levels.

I do disregard this sometimes, outright saying that she can't do any kind of medical ninjutsu because it really sets her apart from every other girl in the series and feels more right for her.

Tenten learns she's good at the summoning technique when Gai has her try to summon a weapon from a scroll to test if she's suited for summoning an animal. This inspires Tenten later after she fails to be like Tsunade to pursue becoming a weapons' specialist. Again, I tend to disregard this because I prefer the idea of her having always had an interest in weaponry, for various reasons.

Either way, Lee's determination to get stronger at what he's good at, taijutsu, inspires her to start working on seals and weapon summoning. She makes her own summoning scrolls, and clearly learns it all from books, which is really cool!

Given that she's described as a research enthusiast, this fits really well. She probably spends a lot of time at the library, and does a lot of her learning on her own by trial and error.

Again, because Gai doesn't have expertise in this, I think he sees her interest and gets her higher-level books from the library, talks to people for her, and helps her in any way he can since he can't directly train her on this.

Lee calling what she can do amazing, and calling her a ninja tool specialist makes her so happy, it's really cute how much she relies on him and how much it means to her that he admires her.

After his injury, when Tsunade tells him to give up on being a ninja, you can see Tenten's admiration for her kind of go down, which I think is fair. The image of Tsunade she made up for herself is very different than the reality, and when that illusion is shattered, Tsunade isn’t really much of an idol to her anymore.

She stands on the same roof that they first met on with Gai and Neji and starts crying, saying "so it means determination means nothing. so if you don't have talent, then..." and Gai stops her, tells her to trust Lee's resolve, and her own. Gai clearly recognizes that when Tenten talks about Lee, she's talking about herself as well, and that she clearly doesn't believe in her own strength. He does everything he can to uplift her.

"Trust Lee's resolve, and your own. It got you this far, and it will take you even further." This means so much to Tenten, and it makes her start to cry.

We flash back to the present, where Lee is stuck underwater, and Tenten jumps in to save him, saying "you never give up Lee, that's why I promised myself that I would never lose you, and I was able to give it my all too!"

Tenten and Lee's bond means SO MUCH to me. The two non-geniuses of Team Gai, they clearly rely on one another so much, and take inspiration from one another to push themselves further. Tenten equates herself with Lee a lot, especially in terms of how much they have to work to keep up with Neji, and I think it's really important how deep her and Lee's bond is as a result.

The Third Super Beast (Episode 195 - 196)

This arc is cool! It focuses on Lee and Gai's bond, as Gai takes on a new student who knows taijiutsu a little too well for a rookie genin. I think (??) this arc takes place before the other fillers, simply because Lee seems to still be fresh post-surgery, still not quite able to be on active duty and not able to train fully, so i'm putting this arc here in the timeline.

Naruto gets out of a medical exam (iconic Tsunade line of "you're not sick, just stupid"), and Tenten is waiting outside with Neji. She asks how it went, and he tells her he's all good, to which Neji responds snippily and walks off.

Naruto asks her what's wrong, and Tenten just rolls her eyes and tells him Neji's just "in one of his moods". She sounds annoyed herself, and I'm 100% sure Neji was being bitchy to her too. She isn't afraid to call him out for being moody, but she does give him a bit of leeway in not saying it to his face.

Given that Tenten is observant and good with people, I think during their first year as genin, she recognizes that Neji’s whole thing with fate and all comes from something deeper. Maybe not immediately clocking it as trauma, but at least understanding that there is a serious reason why he’s being Like That, so she’s a bit more lenient with him when he’s in a MoodTM or talking down on people.

She doesn’t let him walk all over her—she’s got more self respect than that—but she is a bit more forgiving than most. And this doesn’t go unnoticed by Neji. We see him being far kinder to her than anyone else, and letting her in on things he doesn’t normally share, and I think this is where it comes from.

All this to say: this is another of those moments. Neji is in a mood, and Tenten lets it go because she understands there’s something else going on there.

They bring in Lee for his exam, and he comes out looking sad because Tsunade told him to chill out on the training or else he risks permanently injuring himself. Tenten and Naruto see him looking all sad, and Naruto fully misunderstands Tenten saying that his diagnosis must have been very grim to mean he's going to die soon. In his defense, Tenten also doesn't correct him on this. I think it's because she thinks it'll be funny. Very sibling-coded.

Naruto and Tenten run to the training hall where Gai has introduced his temporary new student Yagura to Lee and is about to make them spar. They spar, and Yagura is as good as Lee is, and nearly breaks his ankle with a move that ends the spar.

Naruto asks Lee why he's trying to train, and "didn't the hospital say your condition was grim, very grim?" and when he looks to Tenten to verify this, she goes "well, they didn't exactly say that..." LMFAOOO what a little shit.

Then they all go to ichiraku with Neji to fill him in on the gossip, with Lee outside listening to them, and they all start talking him up, saying that they owe him a lot and that he's amazing, which is so stinkin' cute. They love him so much. Neji even admits that hard work and perseverance can mean more than natural talent.

Tenten does concede that if he pushes too hard, he might risk permanent injury and that would be impossible to recover from, and Naruto immediately yells at her for being negative all the time and calls her "the voice of doom" which made me laugh for no good reason.

But we can tell that Tenten generally seems to be a bit... I hesitate to say pessimistic outright, but she's very realistic and down-to-earth. She's not a constant damper on the mood, but she does cut in and remind us that yes, Lee's situation is pretty precarious because his injuries are severe, his surgery was life-threatening, and that's something to keep in mind.

It seems like a perfect in-between to Neji and Lee, where Neji is a major pessimist, and Tenten is optimistic enough to balance that out, but also real enough to balance out Lee's wild dreaming and overboard optimism. She warms Neji up and cools Lee down to bring them to equilibrium.

Tenten says she has a lot to thank Lee for, and the thing she immediately think about is... Gai trying to give them all those green training suits. She really respects Gai but she definitely still thinks he's lame, especially when she's a genin, and thanks Lee for taking the brunt of his attention and enthusiasm so her and Neji don't have to also become Green Beasts.

Yagura goes on a mission with Gai after shit-talking Lee, but he turns out to be an imposter so Tsunade has to get a team to go after him and Gai, and everyone please look at Tenten's ninja registration photo. She's so cute I love her so much. What a diva

After this we see Tenten fighting alongside Naruto, Neji, and Lee to save Gai.

As soon as Neji tells them that the enemies have Gai trapped in a structure infused with their chakra, Tenten is quick to start attacking the jutsu users, which seems to actually stop them from attacking Gai within the structure.

Neji also tells them the training dummies they're using to attack are controlled by seals on the back of their heads, and removing them will disable them. Tenten fires out kunai with perfect accuracy and just shreds a ton of the seal papers on the dummies, disabling many of them in a single attack. And then goes "Man, that was too easy!" Cocky ass mf, I love herrrrrrr.

Given that this is so soon after her fight with Temari, she's probably working slowly to regain her confidence, so it's nice to see her feeling good about herself!

We spend the rest of this episode with Lee and Gai and focus on their bond. Naruto even comments on how Gai and Lee have a really good bond, and that he wishes he had something like that with his teacher too. It's a super cute arc, and I really like it.

Curry Of Life Arc (Episode 152 - 157)

This arc is my favorite of the post-series fillers.

Gai gets deeply upset that his students have to go with Naruto on the mission and begs Tsunade to let them go alone, which I think is so funny. this is the iconic "why can't it just be my students who are beloved by all the world" line.

After Naruto embarrasses all of them and Neji pisses Tsunade off, Tenten leaves her office after telling Tsunade "Sorry about them! They have no manners, ahah", which is funny coming from her, given her behavior for the rest of this episode.

Tenten disses Gai, and Lee gets mad that Tenten thinks Gai's information might be wrong, and I just paused here and thought this screenshot was funny.

Tenten says that Raiga burying people alive is the worst thing she's ever heard, which fits with my headcanon that she's a little claustrophobic. It's not debilitating, but she gets a little uncomfortable in tight spaces and has trouble staying in them for extended periods.

Through this whole mission, and honestly a lot of the filler arc missions, Tenten follows Neji's orders in a way Lee and Naruto don't. Like him, she's a little more calculating and takes her decisions based on logic more than her morality, like a shinobi is supposed to. She’s always the one to get Lee and Naruto to try and see Neji’s viewpoint when they question his decisions, explaining the logic to them.

She's also the first one to notice that Neji is on edge when he spots Raiga for the first time, and immediately asks him what's wrong.

After Raiga is killed, they leave Ranmaru tied up in a cabin and go back to the town. When they get ambushed by the rest of his gang, Tenten gives them this look as they're about to fight, which I think is so cool.

She seems to like a challenging battle where she can really test her skills, and she's the first of the group to attack once they go on the offensive, clearly excited to fight.

Once they come back for Ranmaru, he tells them he has no reason to be alive, and Tenten immediately starts shitting on him. She says that everyone ought to be able to live on their own, at least the basics, and that she can't stand weak, indecisive people. Even as he tells everyone his tragic backstory, Tenten is the only one who reacts with barely any sympathy.

I like to think this mentality comes from her being an orphan. She's had to do these things on her own since forever, and she doesn't like people like Ranmaru or Haku who rely entirely on another person as their reason to live. She hasn't really had anyone to rely on like that until Team Gai, so to her, being able to live on your own without needing anyone is a basic skill.

Her disliking weak and indecisive people also explains why her self esteem is so low after losing to Temari. She felt so weak and useless in that fight, and she hates herself for it.

When they're back at the Curry Of Life shop, Neji sends Tenten back by herself to check on Karashi and Ranmaru. When Karashi comes back and tells Neji that Tenten slipped and fell off the cliff, Neji is the only one that knows immediately that it's a lie. He trusts her skills, and knows damn well that Tenten isn't clumsy like that, no matter what anyone says.

There's an awesome fight scene between Tenten and Raiga, where she very nearly overwhelms him, quickly binding him with her chained sickle and flinging a scroll's worth of weapons at him with one hand. She fights very smart, switching to a wooden staff after getting struck by lightning through her chains, and also noting she still can't hold her staff up too high because of the storm.

She flings dirt into Raiga's eyes, and even manages to disarm him of one of his swords by catching it with her staff and throwing it away, all in one movement. She gets knocked out after getting her staff broken and blasted with lightning, but overall, she handles herself with great skill in this fight.

Tenten is also weirdly uninjured for having been struck by lightning thrice during this fight, which fits with my headcanons of her having lightning-natured chakra.

Once she wakes up again, Tenten grabs Ranmaru, who passed out after bringing back Raiga, and brings him to a safe place. She takes care of Ranmaru and tries to nurse him to health. When Ranmaru says that he'd rather die, Tenten tells him that she won't let him get off that easily, and that he has to live and take responsibility for all the people he killed.

She's not completely lacking of sympathy for him though, because when Ranmaru starts coughing and looking worse for wear, Tenten stops yelling at him, and wraps him in a blanket to head to the Curry Of Life Shop, and takes him there through the rain. Even in the shop, she expresses her determination to save Ranmaru, and sits there taking care of him while Grandma makes the curry of life.

She coerces him to eat by saying that if he feels nothing after seeing Karashi and Grandma work so hard to make him the curry, then he's a "horrible human being" LOLL. She really does not like this kid. But it's her expressing all of these things to him that finally gets him to eat, and know what it is to feel alive. Even though she yelled at him more than anything else, it's her strong morals and worldviews that move him.

Just like we saw in the Forest Of Death, Tenten's medical care when it comes to Lee seems to be "shake him really hard and yell at him until he wakes up".

Her medical care for Naruto is to put a plateful of curry in his mouth, force him to chew it, and call him an idiot for passing out. And then she calls him a dumbass when he says he thought she fell down a cliff.

And then with Neji, she gets annoyed and tells him to get up and get going, feeds him like four spoons of spicy curry, and kills him immediately. I love her so much.

She really has great bedside manner LOL. Another reason why I think people see her as unfit for medical ninjutsu + more proof for those headcanons on her being a little bit rude because of her upbringing.

This arc is really fun overall and I think it's a good rewatch for some cool Tenten scenes.

Academy Student Leading Mission (Episode 158)

Tenten is in this one (1) frame of this episode, but it’s important to me because look at her using the Dynamic Entry!!!! We don’t get a lot of Tenten Taijutsu moments and this is one, so I just needed everyone to see her using her dad's sensei's move.

The Appearance of Strange Visitors (Episode 161)

This episode is really funny actually, and it features Tenten, Sakura, and Tsunade being absolute little shits, which is always a treat. This is just a very brief Tenten moment. Two people come into the village disguised and Lee and Gai, but nobody is fooled... except for Naruto.

So to drive them away, Tsunade, Tenten, and Sakura assign them missions to get them to go away. Tenten is the first one to take a crack at them, and we see her coming out of an apartment building to talk to them. She's also wearing her green outfit instead of her usual pink one!

Character-wise this episode isn't anything to write home about, but it's confirming that this green outfit is her "casual" clothes, while the pink is her ninja clothes, and that might be her apartment??

In the shot of her apartment from Shippuden 237 (and later in the RTN filler), we don't see any relatives, and she seems to be by herself in the apartment, much like Naruto. I think this is evidence for her being an orphan, living by herself after making genin.

This also raises the possibility that she met Naruto and/or Lee there when she was young.

Cursed Warrior Extermination Arc (Episode 162 - 167)

This arc feels like it should not be this long for some reason, there's just always some dumb bullshit going on. Either way there's not any noteworthy moments here, there’s just one thing I want to mention.

This arc features Neji, Tenten, and Naruto out on a mission to the Land Of Birds to stop The Cursed Warrior, who’s been haunting the land. After encountering the Warrior once and fighting it, they regroup and discuss who could be dressing up as it, and decide to come meet Lord Sagi, the feudal lord of the land to see if he knows anything and will tell them.

Tenten sees him and immediately calls him "a cutie" and "totally her type" so... her type is quiet and refined pretty boys?

Real quick, Tenten's type being "cool people" also speaks to how she wants to be perceived as well. Her embarrassment toward Lee and Gai's antics, her general refusal to participate in them unless one of them forces her to, it all shows that she really wants people to see her as cool and competent. This is also shown with the people that she admires or finds cute. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sagi here, who is shown to be somewhat similar to Sasuke in personality and motivations, all have a similar disposition.

Tenten doesn't try to emulate the cold personality type they have, she still acts like her usual personable and open self. She just wants to be perceived the way she and others see them. People look up to and admire Sasuke and Kakashi and Tsunade, and that's what Tenten wants too. To be admired and respected. She wants to be "cool".

In the end, the feudal lord turns out to be Sagi's sister pretending to be him, so actually a woman, and Tenten doesn't take back the fact that she called Sagi cute soooo... personally for me? Bi Tenten confirmed. thank u naruto filler.

Star Guard Arc (Episode 178 - 183)

I won't lie, this arc is barely interesting the first time you're watching it, and any rewatch gets super boring quick. They sing this one song so many times and for like 2 mins at a time too. I skipped so much of this on 2x because it's so slow, and with very minor Tenten moments.

Anyway so it's Team Gai + Naruto going to the Hidden Star Village because they called for help from the Leaf Village and Tsunade sends them out. They meet a boy called Sumaru who wants to be the village's Hoshikage and make their village great again or smth idk and they're supposed to be guarding a star that some mysterious ninja keeps trying to steal.

There’s not a lot of big Tenten character moments here, this arc really just has her on screen and doing stuff so it’s here.

Lee and Tenten get assigned by Neji to keep an eye on the village leader's men, and it's Tenten who keeps Lee from confronting them directly, as Lee feels there's no honor it in. Tenten has to keep yelling at him to just be quiet and follow along, and Lee is reluctant to do it but listens to her anyway, which is also a testament to their bond and his trust in her, if Lee is willing to put aside his principles if Tenten really insists that this is what they have to do for the mission.

Tenten also just seems to be very good at convincing Lee to go along with her ideas in general.

We have a really silly scene of Tenten and Lee literally just hiding under a barrel with a peephole as a disguise, and Lee questions if this is really the way of the ninja.

There’s not really many big Tenten character moments here that I could gather.

Konoha Plans Recapture Arc (Episode 197 - 201)

I really love this arc! It's a fun one all around and it's one of the few where we get to see all of the k11 working together. It keeps the tension up all throughout, and has a good mystery element to it.

We don't see Tenten until midway through the episode, when Shikmaru is ordered to form a group to find the stolen blueprints. Team Gai + Hinata all go to each of the construction sites to check if the spy Genno had left any traps there, but find nothing. They reconvene in a dango shop and Tenten quickly notices that the only places Genno went to are restaurants around town.

Team Gai + Shino and Kiba then get assigned to go check the site of Genno's "death", and Tenten notices and points out that some trees are burned on both sides, which isn't normal unless the explosions came from multiple places, not one like originally suspected.

She analyzes the positions of the burns on the trees and determines that a ring of bombs on the outer trees was set off first, and then the one in the center, and that if he'd timed the explosions right, he could have made it seem like one blast.

When they find the escape tunnel Genno used after the explosion, Tenten also recognizes that the construction of the tunnel allows for it to collapse on itself.

Clearly she has a knowledge of traps and other such things, and is crafty. The vibes are giving engineer tbh. I really like this detail! I think from what we've been shown of Tenten as this smart and observant character that likes weapons and tinkering, traps and escape tunnels seem right up her alley. When Team Gai sets up camp she's probably the one putting up traps and stuff around the perimeter.

This also plays into her strategic mindset, and I think in any kind of ambush missions she gets, she does the same, setting up traps and escape routes. She's exacting and detailed in her work, and likely self-learned all of this from books or other sources, since Gai's expertise is not in this.

When they find the first paper bomb, Tenten is the one to disarm it, once again showing her expertise in not just weapons, but also paper bombs and the like.

This is also the arc that we see Tenten using this sick fucking bow. It has a scope on it and can shoot 4 arrows. I feel like it's kind of hard to reload?? but I'm sure there's some cool ninja way they do it so.

Menma Memory Arc (Episode 213 - 215)

Tenten doesn't appear until the second episode of this arc, where her and Neji are assigned on a mission with Naruto to take this guy Menma to the Land of Rice Paddies to help him regain his memories.

There's not too much notable here, since this arc focuses more on Naruto and Menma than Neji and Tenten, but there's a few things.

Tenten's observant nature is really put on display in these two episodes, as a lot of the time, she's the first one to point out surrounding details to the others. At one point, when the enemy is in a tree observing them with a spyglass in a tree, Tenten notices the glare of the sun off the glass and warns everyone that the enemy is there. To me, this also supports my idea that Tenten has really good eyesight.

This episode, like many, also shows Tenten having to physically get Naruto to be quiet. She does this with Lee as well. I think it's kind of funny that it's always her having to quiet down the two impulsive and loudmouthed ones, and she always does a pretty good job at it, appealing to their sense and somehow managing to talk them down.

This once again shows that not only is Tenten physically strong enough to restrain Lee and Naruto physically, but also shows her people skills and how well she can convince the two of them to chill out.

Suna Support Mission (Episode 216 - 220)

Tenten only gets one scene in this last arc of the original series, and it's in the very last episode, complaining that she was literally the only member of the Konoha 11 to not go on the mission.

I adore this scene too because we get to see Tenten sparring with Lee using pure taijutsu! And she wins! Another instance of her using the Dynamic entry!

Chunin Exams 2: Electric Boogaloo (Shippuden 396 - 413)

This arc is some of the best Team Gai content we get from this show, since it focuses on on them primarily for a lot of it. I'm not going to summarize every single thing that happens but I'll go over the major Tenten character moments.

During the written exam, Sakura mentions this test would be with Naruto here because he'd just score a 0. Tenten says things would be easier for their team if Lee were as dumb as that. So Lee is not completely stupid, as we well know, and Tenten knows that well.

Lee tells them they should try to arrive first, and Tenten tells him there's no advantage to that. Tenten tends to be laid back, so unlike Lee, she doesn't like exerting more effort than she has to, as we see during some training flashbacks later in the arc. She doesn't want to do anything that won't directly benefit her, and she's... a bit lazy LOL.

Still, they end up going at full speed anyway, which is absolutely because Lee and Neji are both competitive little shits and made Tenten go along with them at top speed. I bet she spent the whole trip complaining.

Lee says that they've never been to the Sand Village before, so I think they actually haven't taken any missions there as genin. This actually is accurate because in the Gaara rescue arc, they also don't go to the Sand, they head for the Waterfall Village in between. Neji says he went there once on an errand for the Hyuuga.

During the dinner scene, Tenten makes fun of Kiba when he calls the shinobi from the Sand "mean-looking", telling him that he's also pretty mean-looking. I think it's cute that she teases all of the other konoha 11 like this, especially Naruto and Kiba.

When one of Shira's teammates mentions a cactus, Tenten also realizes that it was the cactus flowers that caused the genjutsu they were put under. I have a headcanon that Tenten studies genjutsu, or at least has a passing interest in it and that's also why she gets stuck in the Road To Ninja world instead of the full genjutsu during the war. I'll elaborate on this when we get to that arc.

Tenten pulls out this giant ladder from a scroll to get her team out of the sand waterfall pit. We're shown at various points that Tenten is a bit of a hoarder. She has everything in her scrolls, from cooking items to tents to giant metal shelters. Any item that's vaguely useful to her, she'll just toss into a scroll. But she clearly has some kind of organizational system because she knows exactly which scroll and which seal every item is in. Likely, she organizes everything by scroll—so a weapons’ scroll, a food scroll, a camp setup scroll, and so on.

During Lee and Shira's battle, Neji is seen explaining all of the intricacies of their taijiutsu to Tenten. We also see in a flashback that he does this for Tenten all throughout their training, whenever Lee and Gai are sparring or when Gai is explaining a technique to Lee. It’s very cute that he does this, keeping Tenten up to speed with the rest of them. This is also an indication that while Tenten is still fairly knowledgable in taijutsu (since she knows enough to ask Neji follow-up questions), it's not her main focus and is more like something she relies on in a pinch.

After this we spend two episodes with Team 8 before going back to Team Gai and their encounter with Ajisai. Tenten pulls out dinner from a scroll, which like I mentioned before, she's a hoarder and a packer. What's interesting to me is that she has food stroed in there, which means you can store food in storage scrolls. I wonder how good it stays in there. If an item needs to be refrigerated, would that change the seal? Much to consider.

Tenten gets irritated at Lee calling her convenient, because she feels that it makes her seem like a tool that's convenient for her team, rather than him saying her technique is convenient.

She storms off, and during her training flashback, we see her and Gai training with nunchucks. I absolutely think Gai was the one that taught her nunchucks, since it was one of the few weapons that he has a lot of expertise with, so he helped her out there. It made him very happy to be able to teach her something new rather than having to just give her resources and letting her figure it out.

Gai calls her convenient in the flashback and she has the same reaction, telling him not to talk to her as if she's some kind of tool. To his credit, he really didn't mean it that way, but it still irritates her. This is another sore point for her, clearly. It directly goes against her want to be seen as cool and admired, since it makes her seem like just a utility, a bag to pull out whatever they need in the moment, and she wants to be admired for her skills, not dismissed as a convenient thing to have around.

There's a funny moment after Tenten's flashback when Lee calls to her and tells her dinner is ready. She asks if the okunomiyaki turned out okay, and Lee looks nervous and says "I have my doubts about them..." which made me laugh.

When they start to fight Ajisai and her team, Tenten immediately picks Ajisai as her opponent after seeing she uses the same jutsu as her. She clearly still has a competitive spirit, even if it's not as strong as Lee or Gai's.

There's a flashback to her training with Gai, and Tenten doesn't seem to progress very far in the span of two years, especially compared to Neji and Lee.

Even after two years, she says she still struggles with chakra control and that her chakra level isn't very high. Plus she seems to not know that she has skill with the Summoning Technique, which is directly contradicted by Shippuden 237 where she's introduced to it in her early genin days and told directly by Gai that she has the skill for it.

I find this inaccurate and reject it.

Tenten is shown to be a quick learner, an enthusiast for research, and deeply upset over her loss to Temari. There's no way she hasn't spent nearly every day in the past two years honing her skills in more complex fuinjutsu, weapons, and other space-time ninjutsu in an effort to beat Temari, and also prove to herself that she isn't weak.

And about her chakra level not being high enough for summoning an ocean, I think Tenten has much larger chakra reserves than average. That's why her chakra control isn't very good (like naruto) and she can use the Treasured Tools. So it doesn't make sense to me that her chakra level is too low for what she does in the show or that she has to work to increase it.

I think her training with Gai is more about chakra control than about increasing her chakra. She hones her control so she can do more complex seals and can control how much water or fire she releases from her scrolls. To this end, Gai has Neji help her, since he has good chakra control. I think Gai also makes Tenten train with Sakura, though Tenten is slightly reluctant at first, and that’s how they grow to be eventual friends.

I think her aptitude for summoning implies that she could also summon animals if she could get along with one long enough to sign a contract. Personally, I think she should get bears.

The flashback ends with Tenten falling off of a cliff that her and Gai were climbing as training, and then she wakes up in the tunnel. We actually never see what happens after she falls which is really weird.

While Tenten walks with Ajisai, she finds her unresponsive to her small talk and giving her attitude, and points it out directly to her. She doesn't take attitude from Ajisai but is still kind, and doesn't raise her voice or start arguing for the sake of it. She very calmly lays out a logical counterpoint, still sounding pretty friendly, and still jokes around with Ajisai when she's done.

I feel like this is also a fairly good insight into how she used to deal with Neji before the chunin exams.

Once again showcasing her observant nature and situational awareness, she hears the ants coming well before Ajisai does. Tenten also gets grossed out by the dead ant, which is fairly consistent with the rest of the show. Tenten is shown getting uncomfortable when she sees bugs or just anything traditionally "icky". Not human blood and guts tho. She's funny for that.

She also asks Ajisai for advice with the summoning jutsu, which I still reject that she needs to, and gets disappointed when she doesn't have any. She sighs and says "I guess it's just sheer talent," looking visibly upset. Even after two years, this insecurity hasn't fully gone away.

Tenten is also visibly insecure when Ajisai starts sealing the rocks into her papers, and when Ajisai asks her to help, Tenten says she can't, because... she doesn't have the chakra for it, I think?? That or she's not confident enough in herself to be able to do it. But then one flashback later she summons an ocean??? How does this work oh my god.

Anyway, we get a flashback to Team Gai at a restaurant when he asked his students if they want to participate in the second chunin exams. Neji and Lee say a very confident yes, and Tenten goes along with them but looks upset. Gai asks if something is wrong, and Tenten asks if she's gotten stronger since the last exams. Gai says she should have, and Tenten says that it seems like she has nothing to show for it. Neji and Lee immediately turn to look at her and both seem shocked at this.

I actually really like this moment because in accordance with my headcanons from earlier, Tenten has very much improved in the past two years, but due to her insecurities, and specifically her insecurities surrounding the chunin exams, she doesn’t see it.

Lee and Neji are shocked because they can’t believe that Tenten thinks she hasn’t improved over the past two years. And they know best, because they’re the ones who have been training and going on missions with her. This is cute to me, a “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you” moment.

I headcanon that whenever Tenten has these moments of insecurity after the first chunin exams, Lee and Neji both encourage her in their own ways and help bring up her confidence.

Gai tells her that “hard work and determination will never betray you” which really seems to be Team Gai’s second motto, right after “stronger than we were yesterday”.

When they're waiting out the sandstorm in Tenten's little shelter, Tenten looks a bit uncomfortable the whole time, again supporting my headcanon that she's a little bit claustrophobic.

Once the jinchuriki are attacked, the focus goes to Neji and his strategic knowledge to show why he gets double promoted to jounin.

At Neji’s request, Tenten pulls a scroll out of what looks like either a waist holster inside her shirt, or her bra since she reaches into her shirt to grab it, and gives Neji a chakra blade, which he uses to cut into Fu's cocoon.

The chunin exams end after the third round is canceled, and everyone in the k11 gets promoted to chunin, with Neji getting a double promotion to jounin. Lee thanks his teammates, and Tenten says "Our three man squad is forever, right?" and SP clearly hates me specifically because they zoom in on Neji and have him say "yes I certainly hope so" and that's just plain rude when we all know he died literally one arc ago in shippuden.

Now one thing I want to mention here that always stood out to me about Tenten. We never get any backstory for her the way we do with any other character. The most we get of her childhood is a single scene of her declaring when she's young that she wants to be like Tsunade. Almost every other character shares pieces of their backstory with others. Not Tenten though.

I think this shows Tenten to be a very private person. Neji's told her everything about his clan and she talks about his backstory at times, or talks about Lee's, but neither of them ever mention hers. She doesn't talk to others about her past or her motivations. She keeps her goals and hopes to herself. I don't think she's cold about it, but she probably redirects conversations about herself when they come up.

I think eventually, she begins to share stuff with her teammates, but at first, I think she keeps quiet about her backstory, no matter how mundane or interesting it could be in comparison.

Anyway, this wraps up Tenten's genin years! Next we move on to her chunin years in Shippuden!

#tenten #for reference #part 2 done! everyone look out for part 3 where we analyze tenten's part 2 screentime. most of which comes from two big filler arcs #and then also the last databook and some moments from the light novels if I have room. otherwise i'll have part 4 #trust me guys I did watch all of these episodes but at 2x and skipped any parts where tenten wasn't immediately on screen LOL #i love winter break. (whiny college student on break voice) cant believe i start a 9-5 in a week. everyone pray for me.#dude oh my god my first post was 2.8k words and this is 8.2k words of tenten analysis. what the fuck.

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