#I've been searching for months ToT

[actualbird]

Statistical Report of Marius/Luke Ao3 Literature (2024)

(aka, a pet project i've been working on behind the scenes for a while. if you'd rather read it as a PDF, you can check it out here, but i've copy pasted its entirety into this text post, beginning in 3...2...1...)

Introduction

Ahhh, Marius von Hagen and Luke Pearce…such wonderful characters from hit mobile otome game “未定事件簿 | Tears of Themis.” As love interests to Miss MC Rosa Qiangwei, they each are incredibly compelling characters with incredibly nuanced backstories, personalities, and dynamics with MC.

Also, there’s a small but dedicated community of shippers that want them to kiss and make out and be in love with each other. Hell yeah!

Welcome to the Statistical Report of Marius/Luke Ao3 Literature (2024), a report that aims to capture this community’s literary contribution to the MariLuke ship by crunching the data available to the public on Ao3! 

Before going into the data, there are some notes and caveats to this census that the author would like to make clear.

This report’s data was taken from the “未定事件簿 | Tears of Themis (Video Game)” fandom tag on Archive of Our Own. This means that all works outside of this tag or outside of this website (ex. Twitter thread fics or Tumblr drabbles not crossposted to Ao3, fanfiction only on other sites like FanFiction.net, Wattpad, Weibo, etc.) have not been included.

This report’s data is as of May 31, 2024 as a cutoff date. This was so that I wouldn’t have to endlessly update the data and go insane.

Works that did exist but have since been deleted as of May 31, 2024 are not included, as the author does not have an encyclopedic memory of fanfics that no longer exist on the site :( 

Now with all that said, let’s dive in.

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Number Of Fics Posted and Surge Periods

Now, let’s begin with the number of fics posted. As of May 31, 2024, there are 166 fics in the “Lu Jinghe | Marius von Hagen/Xia Yan | Luke Pearce” tag on Ao3. This number (and subsequently, this report) counts fics as they are listed in AO3 as unique fics, meaning that if it takes up its own little box in the AO3 feed, that’s one fic in itself. This does unfortunately mean that fics that act as a collection (i.e. each chapter is a different story) are only counted as one fic. This number also excludes podfics, because that’s basically the same fic in a different format.

That being said, this number is still nothing to scoff at. And things get even more delightful when we track down the frequency of fics posted month by month in a timeline.

The earliest MariLuke fic posted on Ao3 was “You are King” by itshaku on August 8, 2021, a mere 10 days after ToT’s official global release. The folks who posted the very first few fics in August 2021 laid down the foundation and bedrock of the Ao3 tag, and as ToT’s existence to the global audience continued, more and more fic started to populate our hallowed halls.

However, while that’s the earliest MariLuke fic as is recorded by Ao3 now, I happen to know that there was a fic that was posted even earlier. A fic called “Don’t Let Me Go” by sakurei. Both the fic and the author’s account has since been delated, but I knew this fic existed because I originally started this report in 2022. When I had first put together the preliminary data, I noted “Don’t Let Me Go” as the first ever fic, and then was disheartened to learn that it was deleted. Like, no…the sacred texts… All hope seemed lost until my dear friend Z Lukevonhagen suggested I search the link on the Wayback Machine, and lo and behold, a copy of the True First Ever MariLuke Fanfic On Ao3 had been unearthed. Thanks, Z!

In the month of October 2021, the Marius/Luke tag experienced its first fic surge. For the purposes of this report, any month with 8 or more fics posted during their duration is counted as a surge. Why is 8 or more the qualifier? That number was picked solely off of vibes.

A total of 9 new fics were posted in October 2021, though the I can’t find any discernible reason for this fic. After some digging, I found no relevant fan events that occurred in October 2021 that linked to any of the MariLuke fics. In terms of in-game happenings, the only thing of note here is that this is when the Symphony Of The Night event was running, but it’s not like Marius and Luke made out on screen during that event’s storyline (oh, how I wished though…)

Our next surge happened in August 2022, with a whole 12 fics posted, when the tag suddenly and beautifully got a sizeable influx of CN fics. CN fics take up 6 of the 12 fics posted during this time period, which is half of the month’s total fic yield. Thank you for your service, CN MariLukers !

Our next surge period lasted for a whopping 3 consecutive months, ushering a Golden Age for MariLuke fics, so to speak. Month by month, what happened was:

In October 2022, another surge occurred with a total of 11 fics. During this month, Twitter account Thirst of Themis had run a ToT Kinktober fan event, and a number of new Marius/Luke fics were created and posted in accordance with the Kinktober prompts. 

In November 2022, a total of 9 fics were posted, and this was mostly because of two specific singular authors’ hard work, as they published several fics all on their own in rapid succession and contributed to the surge. Ao3 author Litchire posted a whopping 4 fics during this period, along with Ao3 author ynfzymokaihewo who posted 3 fics. 

In December 2022, a total of 9 fics were posted, though this is the month where I couldn’t find any discernible reason once again. Maybe the holiday season just made us all fic-happy? Who knows.

After that, it’s smooth sailing for a while with average MariLuke fic yields for a couple of months.

Then, the Recession came. Followed by a Revival. Followed by another Recession. 

In April, 2023, only one (1) MariLuke fic was posted. Authors recovered in the following month of May 2023, but right after in June 2023, we all died once again with a staggering zero (0) new MariLuke fics posted. I assume we all went into hibernation or something. But that’s fine, because the next month in July 2023, the crops started flowering once more and the MariLuke harvest began anew.

Our next surge happened a couple months later, in November 2023, with 8 new fics posted. The culprit here is Thirst of Themis once again, for they had run a November prompts event, and 7 out of 8 MariLuke fics posted this month were in fulfillment of the event.

Now, we arrive at our latest surge and also our biggest one. In may 2024, the MariLuke Ao3 tag saw a whopping 28 new fics posted. This is undoubtedly the result of the fan event MariLuke Week (May 2024) for 27 out of the 28 fics were posted in fulfillment of the event’s prompts. The following authors participated in MariLuke Week, with their fic counts for this event placed next to their name:

xXILoveMyFridgeXx (10 fics contributed)

wtfhoney (7 fics contributed)

quarterweeb / theobscenfraction (4 fics contributed)

reptilianraven (3 fics contributed)

lukevonhagen (2 fics contributed)

Litchire (1 fic contributed)

Congratulations and thank you to the writers who participated in the event! You all contributed to the biggest surge in MariLuke stocks THUS FAR, and you should all give yourselves a pat on the back.

That concludes the timeline of MariLuke works up til May 31, 2024! Hit the showers, everybody!

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Full List of AO3 Users Who Have Written Marius/Luke Fanfiction

The Marius/Luke writer population is a small but mighty one, with a total of 45 unique authors who have posted a fic Marius/Luke fic on Ao3 as of May 31, 2024. Before going into the full list of authors, here are some important caveats to the list:

ON ANONYMOUS AUTHORS: As this report deals with how Ao3 lists data, all authors who have opted to post anonymously will be counted as one entity. I personally know that some anonymous authors are different users, but verifying this without making any fuckups would make my tiny pea brain cry. For this reason, anonymous authors are counted as one unique author, so if you’re one of these anonymous authors, congrats on being a part of a Marius/Luke hivemind!

ON AUTHORS WITH PSEUDS: An Ao3 user who has different posted fics within the Marius/Luke tag under different pseuds will be counted as one unique author. Despite saying in the last paragraph that the my personal knowledge will not be enacted to tweak how Ao3 lists data, I’m making one exception here because it literally only pertains to three Ao3 users in the ship tag, so this won’t make my tiny brain cry at all.

So without further ado and in alphabetical order, here our are heroes:

Authors listed under the Anonymous Label

ajing_1124

artistic_gemini

asukryo

autumnsparrxw

BlazingSunflowers

CandorArchives

chechevitsa

darkbreak

doridoripawaa

dxpiarchaive / keeyamii

Eden_of_Amour / suffering_meguca

EnnTea

floweringlight

friedchickenlord

Goryo_Wataru

i_o_u_e_a

itshaku

kombat_exe

ladyhaspran

layla_wp

Litchire

lukevonhagen

m3i_day

marcipancake

monocuri

osamurice

pvsiytemhaver

quarterweeb / theobscenefraction

reptilianraven

RikuMorimachisGirl

Rxzaliya

samandspam

snocchiato

Solaste

sondepoch

strayris

Szim

Tinowenn

ThirdLibraryOfYumenosaki

turnscote

wtfhoney

xeriacat

xXILoveMyFridgeXx

ynfzymokaihewo

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A Brief Glimpse Into Ratings and Tags

Before I looked at the ratings, I had a hypothesis that Explicit fics would take the lead because in majority of the MariLuke fics I’ve read myself, Marius and Luke are written to have incredibly active libidos. Lo and behold, when I did chart down the fics by rating, is is revealed that…

…statistically, we are horny. 

Not by a whole lot though! Fics that are rated Teen and Up comes in 2nd place by just a very small margin, so that’s a lot of fics that are accessible to those who don’t want to read Marius and Luke getting nasty.

In terms of Additional Tags, I checked out the Top 5 most frequented Additional Tags and charted them below.

The Top 5 most used Additional Tags are actually Fluff, Light Angst, Comedy, Humor, and Anal Sex. However, I reasoned that Comedy and Humor are the exact same thing, so I counted them as synonyms and added in the 6th most used Additional Tag: Established Relationship. 

Anyhoo, I think it’s really sweet to see that Fluff reigns supreme! And by a large margin, too. We love to write our boys having a wholesome lovely time. Of course, we also like just a smidge of narrative spice, which is where Light Angst comes in in 2nd place. That being said, I think it’s insanely funny that Anal Sex is in this chart. It is very out of place among the rest, LMAO.

---

A Brief Segue Into The Popularity of Marius/Luke In Relation to Other ToT BL Pairings

As of May 31, 2024, Marius/Luke is the 1st most popular M/M ship in the Ao3 tag, overall clocking in with a total of 166 works. 

In addition to that, I think it’s interesting to note that the 2nd most popular BL ship is Marius/Artem, with 130 fics, while the 3rd most popular BL ship is Marius/Vyn, with 66 fics. Tied for 4th place is Artem/Male or Gender Neutral Reader, and Vyn/Artem, both at 46 fics respectively.

The reason why I think the top 5 BL ships are interesting to look at is due to Marius’ participation in 3 out of the 5 most popular M/M ships in the ToT tag. Given this, we can veritably congratulate him for statistically beating the heterosexual allegations. Marius really gave off vibes that made many different shippers go “oh there’s no way in hell he’s completely straight.”

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Accolades 

Longest Fic

As of May 31, 2024, the Longest Fic in the tag is [drumroll]...Losing Sight by pvsiytemhaver! This fic is actually primarily as ArtemRosa fic with MariLuke as an additional ship, and it currently clocks in at 90,109 words, taking the 1st spot as the longest MariLuke fic and the 18th longest fic overall in the general “未定事件簿 | Tears of Themis (Video Game)” fandom tag. Let’s take a look at the runner ups!

Here’s the list of the longest fics in the MariLuke tag:

Losing Sight by pvsiytemhaver (90,109 words)

the lips i used to call home (it was maroon) by xXILoveMyFridgeXx (58,185 words)

Five Points of a Star by xXILoveMyFridgeXx (25,494 words)

Risk of Pain by Solaste (25,157 words)

end of a decade (start of an age) by xXILoveMyFridgeXx (20,671 words)

Special shoutout to user xXILoveMyFridgeXx who consistently pumps out fics with gargantuan word counts.

Fic With Most Kudos

Next on the list is the Fic With The Most Kudos, and this title goes to [drumroll]... “standard operating procedure (x4 speedrun) by reptilianraven” which…oh, that’s me. 

This fic is not solely a MariLuke work, but an NXX Polycule work that has MariLuke within it. Weighing in with 827 kudos, it takes the spot as the 1st most kudos’d MariLuke work, while also weighing in as the 9th most kudos’d fic overall in the general “未定事件簿 | Tears of Themis (Video Game)” fandom tag. Let’s take a look at the runner ups!

Here’s the list of the Top 5 Fics With Most Kudos:

standard operating procedure (x4 speedrun) by reptilianraven (827 kudos)

every breath you take, every move you make, peanut will be watching you by reptilianraven (735 kudos)

how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world by reptilianraven (705 kudos)

the existence of a top student implies the existence of a bottom student by reptilianraven (575 kudos)

making out with your bro for fun and for profit by reptilianraven (567 kudos)

(Thank you for the kudos ;^;)

Author With Most MariLuke Works Written

And now, for our last accolade… the award for the author who currently has a large chunk of the MariLuke Ao3 tag coming from their own fics wrought by their own mind. 

This title goes to [drumroll]... oh goddamn it, it’s me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being insane about them. I don’t remember writing this much for them, I swear to god. Let’s look at the runner ups!

Here’s the list of authors with the most MariLuke works written:

reptilianraven (24 works)

quarterweeb / theobscenefraction (quarterweeb) (23 works)

Litchire (15 works) and ynfzymokaihewo (15 works) tied for 3rd place

xXILoveMyFridgeXx (13 works)

wtfhoney (11 works)

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Conclusion

I love this ship. I love this ship so goddamn much, but if there’s one thing I love more, it’s the community of shippers who write for this ship. This pet project was started as a little love letter from me to the MariLuke writing community. So, thank you, MariLuke writers!! Thank you for putting your heart and soul into the works you create, thus fashioning a beautifully wide array of fics to enjoy and read, and thank you for showing your love for this rarepair!

Alright, this report is too damn long. I’m gonna go reread MariLuke fics now. Bye! Hope you enjoyed!

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕋𝕒𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ☁️ anon request: HELLO BEE! I'M BACK!! Remember me?

Oh my- it's been awhile since I've seen your blog and requesting, I hope you miss me tho :)

Anyways, can I request emu x f!reader having taiyaki date? Also can it be oneshot and platonically?

I actually wanted to request this since months ago but I'm always late😭. And since the requests are open now, I hope I didn't late this time (Everyone is fast as sonic when it comes to requesting🥹)

Like always, take care of yourself and I hope you have a great day^^

- your first anon :D (☁️)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hiii!! OMG IT'S BEEN SO LONG How are you doing, dear? I swear I'm so so happy to see you ^^

Also yeah, I know requests can be problematic sometimes ToT But oh well, I'm happy so many people like my my writing hehe

But honestly, I really enjoyed writing this one!! So hopefully you'll like it too!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

It was no secret to Emu she loved taiyaki! And you as their partner knew it the best! She often brought it when you two were hanging out, especially at Phoenix Wonderland or at your place.

So... why not take her to restaurant that specializes in taiyaki for one of your dates? That right here was something you couldn't miss~ And what's better than making it a surprise since your girlfriend loves them so much?

"What if it's... Oh! A super duper cool slide!"

"Slide? No! Haha... I would've told you to dress comfy if I wanted to ale you to a playground."

"Slides still can be fun!"

"Well yeah but... maybe another time, yeah?"

"Sure! I don't want to ruin your plans! Let's see now... what else could o guess..."

Of course she was guessing the entire way! And to your surprise, she didn't mention anything with taiyaki?! It's a bit surprising, sure... but at least your surprise I'd going in good way so far!

And when you finally stopped in front of your date place, pink haired girl was in middle of thinking of another guess so she accidentally bumped into you.

"or maybe we're going to- Aoh!"

She took a while to look at you confused, then looked in the direction you were facing and you could see her face brighten immidietly! It's like her eyes were dazzling and she was jumping in.place, unable to hold her excitement.

"You remembered!"

"Hehe~ Of course! How could I not?"

You almost wanted to say it's hard to miss since she brings taiyaki so often and brags about it whenever she had one but... you decided to leave your little teasing for later~

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

"Yeah let's go!!"

Thinking you're gonna be the one leading was a mistake. When she spoke, she immideitly took your hand in hers and didn't walk into the restaurant... she ran right in! Naturally, dragging you behind her~

You didn't even had to speak as she immideitly asked nearest worker where you could sit and soon, were presented with various choice of taiyaki and how it's served. You were honestly surprised there was even so many... your girlfriend too but seemingly not as much. It's like she already knew about most and finally got the chance to try it!

"There's even ice cream taiyaki!! We should get lots of it too! Oh, but I want to try the one with chocolate as well! And strawberries..."

She obviously had a hard choice... and since it's supposed to be special date for her, you decided to give her free hand so she could enjoy herself more.

"How about this... we can share like... 5 different taiyaki's today and we'll come another time to try the rest?"

"Really?! Yes, yes!! I promise to pick the best taiyaki options that are here!"

She said with this determined look on her face, letting you know that despite it sounding like just few simple words, she was actually serious as her eyes wandered all around the menu, searching for the perfect taiyaki's!

Today you discovered how picky Emu can be when it comes to taiyaki... but one thing you need to admit... her choices were utterly AMAZING!! She picked 2 classics, claiming how they were her favorite and they indeed were worthy of that title. But she also got 3 taiyaki's that are rarely served the way they are... but despite them being a bit different, they were also great!

But the best thing wasn't great taiyaki's or soothing music that played at that place... the best thing was your girlfriend's face when she tried each of them. The way she smiled with those shining eyes, like a little kid who finally got their favorite candy~ it was simply charming <3

After the date was over and both of you were walking home together, she decided to do a little summary of the food you ate.

"First! Classic taiyaki with red beans! 10/10!"

"Hm... that's classic but good... Sure, let's give it 10/10. How about chocolate ones?"

"Hm... 10/10!!"

"Heh~ Well I dunno... for me it was more of a... 9/10? It just missed something to me..."

"Strawberry taiyaki!"

"Hm... 7,5/10. Not my tastes... How about you?"

"Big 10/10!"

"How are we gonna judge them fairly if you'll only rate them 10/10...?"

"But- I can't give them anything else! Taiyaki is simply too good for that!"

You could only sigh with small smile... guess she really likes taiyaki... but that only proves to you that she enjoyed this date and you honestly couldn't be any more glad~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @hayillaaaaaaa @miguelito-maruti-blog - come get your smiley girl!

[rigelmejo]

7/9/2024 random notes:

I should look up sometime why Sherlock is 福尔摩斯 in chinese. Also, for the sherlock fans: the Granada Holmes show is on youtube with chinese subs if you search "fuermosi"

Listening to so much chinese this past month paid off!!! I listened to MoDu audio drama episode 1 yesterday and understood almost every single line! I was only missing some details when Tao Ran mentioned he won't bend (wan) and said "but if" and luo wenzhou told him to shut up, and when Luo Wenzhou talks to Wang Honglian and they use words like manage/supervise him but i am not sure which words meant which in regard to that "monitoring wang honglian" bit, and when Xiao Haiyang talked I just got his "strangled victim and moved" but for some reason i just couldnt understand him talking as easily as Wang Honglian, Luo Wenzhou, and Tao Ran. That's the most I've ever followed something thats only audio! I think I can officially listen to the modu audio drama just for like entertainment.

I've been relistening to modu chapters 1-5 audiobook a few more times, and more details get clearer to me (and i remember more words i used to know in reading) each time. Phrases are easier for me to comprehend immediately as i hear them, as i relisten. I'm now listening to new chapters (chapters 6 onward) and its fairly easy for me to follow the main idea - i know what scene im listening to and can tell what actions people do and their dialogue, its just more descriptive words (that arent the common serious/simple/clearly words) and phrases (like 4 hanzi non-verb descriptives) that I'm not understanding. I'm so excited. I'm looking up a word every few minutes (like saobao 骚包 show off) when I hear a word I don't know that I'm curious about. I'm really excited! I just!! I love this novel!! It's so cool hearing it kind of voice acted, you know what I mean? It's cool to hear scenes I imagined. I am wondering what the action scenes, or all the creepy scenes in case 2 arw going to sound like. One of my favorite scenes is when the killer little girl is being interrogated by Tao Ran and Fei Du and she thinks of people as prey, and Fei Du is paralleled to her and better at figuring out how to get answers. Its such an unsettling scene.

I'm through 1638 sentences in glossika japanese, its still listing that as high A1. I guess it hasnt taught many individual words compared to the 1638 sentences. I hope the unique words increase in number eventually. Maybe im getting good grammar practice who knows. I am mulling over the idea of playing ff7 Crisis Core (or the ps5 Remake ff7 Reunion) in japanese only, sometime soon. Since I've done it before (but it was a SLOG 2 years ago when i tried... i read so slow and felt like i was drowning lol). I feel like it should be more doable this time, since i can play Yakuza Ishin in japanese only now (although it felt like i was just guessing based on Vibes when i played ishin it was not as mentally draining). On the other hand, id like glossika japanese to fucking say "low b1" before I try playing a video game again. So i can also feel like i (hopefully) studied 2000+ or more basic words before i try playing games in japanese again.

Then again, who knows with me. I often end up deviating from my plans. Maybe i'll end up playing some game in all japanese today just to spite attempts to plan ToT

[abstractlantern]

Devlog #5 (?)

Happy belated 4th of July!

I, once again, have been quite busy and unable to do a ton of heavy work on my game. We went traveling to visit family a few states away, and I couldn't bring my computer ToT

However!

I thought I'd pull together some monster designs for y'all to see, since I've been talking about sprites and stuff for a few months now.

WARNING! Some of the enemies are a little gory/dip into body horror territory. I've put the pictures under the read more, so please proceed with caution if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable!

First up, Sand Crawlers.

(Forgive the weird image sizes, that's how it looks in RPG Maker.)

Sand Crawlers reside in the barren wastes beyond the kingdom's walls, clawing through the sand to find their next victim. Their claws contain a deadly poison, capable of killing someone with just one scratch.

The Lost

Blind creatures that wander the wastes, searching for something far beyond its grasp... Though not very dangerous due to their preference of meandering, they can lash out when provoked.

It doesn't look very obvious in this picture, but the stuff coming from the Lost's eyes is crystals!

Oculus

It's uh... It's an eyeball. It floats. Honestly, it's just kind of unnerving. I don't know WHY it's like that or WHERE they came from yet, I just thought it would be neat.

New Infected

A newly turned victim of the Festering (will make a post on that tomorrow!). Just enough of the Infected's mind is left to be horrified at its new form. It attacks, not out of hostility, but in hopes that something stronger than it will lend its demise.

It's also the first mini-boss!

Those are all of the completed enemies I have thus far. I'll try and keep good on my promise for posting tomorrow, where I'll try to dig into some lore stuff! See y'all later (^▽^)

[reallyromealone]

hi, I hope you're doing fine and are safe/healthy. I don't know if you're accepting requests as of the moment and if mine is acceptable, but can I ask for bonten's son that's being neglected by the babysitter or something because they're confident that those scary dads won't ever know since they've been the babysitter for a long time now and nothing happened to them? like, they became so confident now that they forgot the dads literally run a criminal organization :D the cliché type of thing. I've just been searching for protective dads (for fluffs) and I can't find any :') if you are uncomfortable with this though, please ignore it. thank you!

but if you ever consider this, please take your time. there's no need to rush, thanks!

It's time bitches

Y'all don't even know

You don't EVEN KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING

WARNING: CHILD NEGLECT AND KIND OF ABUSE, BONTEN PROTECTIVE AS HELL, SWEARING

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(Nanny) has been in charge of watching (name) since he was around ten months old and over the past year they became cocky as hell and genuinely believed they were untouchable because they were the Bonten nanny.

Because of this cocky attitude they thought they could get away with neglecting little (name) without any of them knowing.

(Name) began missing meals as the nanny chatted away on the phone "yeah, I'm like super important in Bonten so I'm practically untouchable" they boasted while (name) sat hungry and upset while sitting in a dirty diaper.

"Yeah, the little brat learned not to cry about "I want a cookie" or "I want daddy" he's Such a brat"

(Name) was incredibly hungry and uncomfortable at this point, literally he would be down to eat anything and decided that he would go and find food.

Waddling into the expensive buildings halls, the nanny not keeping the baby gates up because they found the gates to keep (name) from getting into things he shouldn't annoying and inconveniencing to them, not to mention not keeping the special baby door locks locked.

(Name) wandered down the hall in search for food and hopefully someone to change his diaper because he was very itchy and upset about it.

"(Name)? What the hell are you doing out here?" Rindō said incredulously as the Bonten men stepped through the elevator, what was their son doing up at ten o'clock at night in the hallway to the penthouse "papa..." (Name) said upset as he held his arms up to be lifted "come here-- whoa why is your diaper so fucking full?!"

(Name) was teary eyed as he noticed papa no.1 aka Mikey eating Taiyaki and reached out to it desperately as his belly rumbled "have you not eaten?!"

At this point the Bonten dad's were livid, their poor baby was starving and waddling with a full diaper in the halls of the building.

"I'm gonna kill that fuckin' nanny" Sanzu seethed as the group stomped to the penthouse where the nanny was chatting away and even eating the snacks they bought FOR (NAME).

"The fuck is this? You let our kid wander outside with a full diaper and eat the snacks we got for him and just talk away on the phone?" Kakucho seethed as Mikey looked to ran "take care of (name), were gonna have a 'talk' with (nanny) about child care" he said seriously and Ran nodded and brought (name) to the tots bedroom "let's see here...whoa!" Ran was blown back by the awful smell and cleaned up the boy "let's get you some rash cream bud" ran said inspecting the red rash the boy sported due to the nanny not changing him enough "that probably feels loads better yeah?"

"Papa..." (Name) said blearily "well thank goodness we keep snacks in your playroom right?"

"Berry?"

"I think the housekeeper restocked your strawberries yes"

Ran didn't bother changing his son, letting him chill in his diaper as they sat on the soft foam mat, ran taking a juice box and a container of fresh sliced strawberries from that morning and the boy practically gobbled them down and periodically halted to take sips from his juice as he leaned into his dad's lap and stomach, his belly filling up "that better bud?"

"How is he?" Koko asked as he walked into the playroom, little (name) gobbling his strawberries and ran handed the boy some crackers to help fill his belly "he's got a really bad diaper rash and he's starving, oi (name)! Slow down bud"

"The nanny has been brought to the other location to be handled, don't worry (name) we will find you a suitable nanny" Koko promised his son who had strawberry all over his face "t-they no good" (name) mumbled before inevitably pushing away the berries now full "now let's get you to bed, if I remember correctly Papa Sanzu promised you a bedtime story" it was a promise Sanzu made because he ate all of (name)s jelly snacks while high.

And (name) was keeping him to that "story!" (Name) said excitedly and when they walked back into the luxury livingroom the nanny was gone and Rindō was tidying up some mess "Sanzu, you're in for strory time"

"Shit... Well let's get this story done (name)" Sanzu said taking the kid and leaving the other seven "so what are we doing until we find another nanny?"

"We will be in rotation, one of us will stay with (name) and we will trade shifts and such until then" Mikey said simply as he ate his snacks "tomorrow though were taking him to the doctor to make sure he's alright, god knows how long the nanny did this to him"

[dontcare77ghk]

Out of Depth

Eddie x reader x Venom

After being kidnapped by the Life Foundation and discovering that you were pregnant, your life had taken a turn.

You, Eddie and Venom had been hiding in Dan's beach house for a week. The three of you had decided that it was too dangerous at the moment to risk returning home, and Dan was generous enough to let you stay.

You were now five weeks pregnant, but the baby was five months along.

The three of you were still adjusting to being parents so soon and dealing with the side effects of having a half symbiote baby. 

"Ow. Ow. Ow." You grunted, holding your hand to your back.

"Nibble?" Venom asked, appearing at your side, causing you to jump.

"Jesus, Vee. Don't sneak up on me." You sighed, holding a hand over your heart. "My balance is gone these days."

"Sorry, nibble." Venom said, rubbing his face against yours. "You sounded like you were in pain. Are you in pain?"

"No. Yes, but no. It's just the baby." You said, rubbing circles on your back.

"What?" Venom exclaimed, suddenly wrapping around you.  "Eddie, get in here!" Venom shouted before dragging Eddie into the room.

"What the hell, Vee?" Eddie cried out, struggling to right himself quickly.

"There's something wrong with the spawn!"

"You got to stop saying that, Vee."

"Y/N, babe? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Eddie asked, moving to your side. "Is the baby okay?" He prodded, putting his hand on your stomach.

"The baby is fine." You promised. "They're just growing too quickly for me."

"Is that possible?" Eddie asked.

"Well, they're half symbiote. Every week of growth equals four weeks, and I'm only supposed to be five weeks pregnant, but I look like this." You said, gesturing to your large stomach.

"If you're worried about what you look like, babe, we think you look amazing," Eddie said, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I wasn't thinking about that until now."

"Nice job, Eddie."

"The doctors that took me said that my body was only mostly compatible." You admitted. "They said I might be the problem for the baby with my weaker DNA."

"That's ridiculous." Venom scoffed. "You are housing our spawn, a perfect mixture of the three of us."

"Vee,"

"I have seen how strong our spawn is. The sickness and slowness are because they need more nutrients." Venom told you. "There is nothing wrong with your DNA."

"See, Y/N? The baby is fine." Eddie promised you. "Look Dan's coming down as soon as he can, and he'll check it all out."

"Is he going to be mad if I kick him on accident?" You wondered. After your experience with the Life Foundation, you weren't sure you'd ever be able to go to a doctor without feeling paranoid again.

"What? No, Nah, he probably gets that all the time." Eddie assured you. 

"I can kick Dan for you." Venom volunteered.

"Don't go kicking Dan around. Otherwise, Anne will kick me around." Eddie groaned as you laughed. "C'mon, you need to sit." He said, leading you towards the couch.

"I'm not going to collapse, Eddie." You said as Eddie helped you sit.

"I know. But you said your ankles were hurting last night, so I figured this might help." 

"I ever tell you two that you're a godsend?" You asked as Venom wrapped around you and Eddie sat beside you.

"Not today."

"What? Not ever. I've never heard Y/N say that before."

Nothing seemed to be satisfying your cravings.

You'd woken up in the middle of the night and snuck into the kitchen in search of something to satisfy the baby.

You'd ripped open bags of pasta, sweet potatoes, tater tots, and chocolates, but nothing hit the spot.

"Y/N?" You heard Eddie, causing your head to snap up from the raw chicken you were stuffing into your mouth. "What's going on?"

"Hungry." You muttered, ripping off another chunk of chicken.

"Y/N, that's raw. You're gonna be sick." Eddie came over to you and tried to take the poultry out of your hands.

"Mine!" You shouted, inching away from the man. "Don't touch it!"

"Y/N."

"Eddie, don't." Venom said, appearing at Eddie's side.

"I'm sorry." You sobbed as guilt surged through you. "I'm sorry. I'm just so hungry." You said, throwing yourself into Eddie's arms.

"I know what you need." Venom spoke up.

"Really?" You asked with wide eyes. "What is it?"

"No, Vee." Eddie snapped before the symbiote could answer. "She can't eat like us."

"There are plenty of organs that Y/N can eat." Venom said. "It doesn't have to be a person."

"Okay, then, we can get you fish," Eddie told you. "You like fish, right? Not that I think it matters right now what you like, considering you're eating a raw chicken."

"No, Eddie, it has to be fresh." Venom told his host. "The spawn needs something rich in nutrients and phenethylamine."

"I don't care what it is!" You shouted, causing both symbiote and man to look at you. "I don't care what it is. Just make this stop! Please, please, boys."

"Alright." Eddie sighed. "Look, please, just stay right here. There's a stash of chocolate under the bed, eat that, and we'll be right back." Eddie said, kissing you.

"What? That's my chocolate!"

"It's for the baby, Vee."

"Fine. Eat the chocolate, nibble, and we'll be back with what you need." Venom said, kissing your cheek.

And then they were off. 

You'd rushed into the room you were staying in and snatched the stash from under the bed. 

The next few minutes were a mess of wrappers and sugar. 

There was nothing else for you at that moment as you tried to fill the ravenous pit that was your stomach.

And then your boys came home.

They were loud, slamming the door open and stomping back towards the bedroom.

But they weren't the only ones making loud noises.

Something was squealing, an animal you could tell that much before it was cut off with a squelch.

"Eat this, nibble." Venom said, holding something dripping in front of you.

He didn't have to ask you twice. You descended on the wet clump and gobbled it down in nearly four bites.

"Feel better?" Eddie asked as the haze lifted, and the pit in your stomach was satisfied.

"Ugh, that was disgusting. What was that?" You gagged, wiping your tongue on your shirt, only to freeze at the red stain on your shirt. "Eddie? Vee?"

"Breathe, Y/N, just take a breath."

"What, what, what did I just eat? Was it a who?" You stammered, wiping your bloody hands on your pants.

"No, no, baby, I promise it wasn't a person," Eddie said, taking your hands in his and squeezing tightly.

"I'm gonna be sick." You gagged, turning your head to the side and throwing up on the floor.

"You're okay, baby. Let it out." Eddie cooed, holding your hair back.

"It's a waste of perfectly good pig." Venom grumbled as he ran a tendril down your back.

"It was a pig?" You asked after you stopped throwing up.

"Full of all the nutrients you and the baby need." Venom promised you. 

"How's the baby feel now? Are you still hungry?" Eddie questioned you.

"No." You shook your head. "No, the baby feels full. Oh, God. Does this mean I'm gonna have to drink blood out of a fucking cup? Is this some fucking Twilight shit?"

"What is Twilight?"

"Something I'm never gonna sit through with you, bud," Eddie grumbled. "No, this isn't some vampire baby. Our kid just needs a little bit fresher meat. We're gonna figure this out." Eddie promised you. 

"I won't eat a human." You told the two. "Won't happen."

"You won't have to," Eddie told you. "Will she Vee?"

"Pig will do just as well."  Venom promised you, wrapping his around you. 

"C'mon, let's get you in the shower, babe," Eddie said, helping you to your feet. "You're covered in vomit."

"And blood." Venom added, licking some off your neck.

"Gross, Vee." You sighed. 

"Waste not want not."

It was a rare occurrence at this stage in your pregnancy for neither Venom nor Eddie to be around you.

The two were overprotective, and with everything that had happened in the last few weeks, that overprotectiveness had doubled.

But tonight, you woke up alone, and the boys' side was cold.

Pulling the blanket around your shoulders, you went off in search of your partners.

"Vee, bud, please, I'm tired." Eddie sighed. "Can't we just go back to bed?"

"No, Eddie! What if we infect Y/N and the baby?" Venom demanded.

"Eddie? Vee?" You asked, standing in the living room doorframe. "What are you doing?" You questioned, watching as Eddie paced the length of the room.

"Vee, won't let me sleep." Eddie sighed as he continued to pace. "He won't even let me sit." He said, glaring at the head on his shoulder.

"Vee?"

"Eddie is not taking the problem seriously." Venom said, flicking Eddie's head.

"What problem could you two have at two in the morning?" You wondered, cocking your head. 

"There isn't a problem," Eddie told you. "Vee's just panicking over nothing."

"This is not nothing, Eddie!" Venom snapped. "Carnage was a problem!"

"Was, Vee," Eddie stressed. "Carnage has been gone for almost three years."

"Boys, please, it is very early in the morning, and I am very tired. What are you going on about?" You cut the two off.

"Vee thinks the baby is going to turn out like Carnage because of him." Eddie dobbed. 

"What?"

"Carnage was our spawn, and he was a psychopath." Venom reminded you. "That means it was our fault."

"No, Vee. That wasn't your fault." You said, moving towards the two. "Carnage would've been just fine if it wasn't because of Kasady. It's his fault for what happened."

"But,"

"No, Vee." You cut him off, holding the side of his face. "Carnage would've been good if he had a different host. The only person who did Carnage wrong was Kasady."

"See, Vee? Y/N agrees with me."

"You are going to be a great father. Both of you are. This baby is going to grow up knowing what wrong and right are, and what love feels like." You said, taking Eddie's hand and placing it on your stomach. "Feel, Vee. Does this baby feel evil?"

"No." Venom relented after placing a tendril on your bump.

"Exactly. Now come on, both of you, come back to bed. With me, please?" You asked the two.

"Vee?"

"Alright. Let's go back to bed." 

"This is really weird, you know that, right?" Anne asked you as she passed you a mug of tea.

"After the last few years of my life, nothing's too weird anymore." You shook your head.

"Well fair enough." Anne nodded. "Did Dan say when the baby should be due?"

"Honestly, with how strange the baby's DNA is and how quickly this pregnancy has gone, the best Dan could give me was any day now." You sighed, shifting in your seat.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, baby's just sitting weird." You waved Anne's concern off. "Tell me something about work."

"I've got people suing over people and other people suing more people. Nothing new." Anne shook her head. 

"Do we know when the boys are getting back with dinner?" You questioned Anne.

"Dan said the restaurant was a half-hour away, and they left twenty minutes ago, so it could be a while. Why?" Anne asked as you stood up.

"Because my water just broke." You groaned, clutching your stomach.

"What?" Anne shrieked, jumping to her feet. "Oh my God, Y/N! Why didn't you say anything before?" 

"I didn't think I was actually in labour, Anne." You exclaimed as the woman moved to your side. "Ugh, where's Eddie and Venom?"

"Shit, I'm going to call them now!" Anne said, dashing for her phone and quickly dialling Eddie's number.

"Hey, Annie. We're on our way back now." Eddie said once he answered the phone.

"Eddie, Y/N is in labour!" Anne exclaimed. "You three need to get back here now!"

"What?"

"Her water's already broken!"

"Alright, Y/N, this is Dan. Eddie, Vee, calm down! Are you experiencing contractions?"

"Yes, and it hurts!" You shouted as you felt another strong one.

"Hang on, Y/N. We're on our way!" Venom said. You heard Dan let out a surprised sound before the call cut out.

"Well, that was helpful." Anne rolled her eyes before she wrapped an arm around your waist. "Come on, I think you're supposed to lay down."

"I'm telling you, I'm never letting either of those two ever touch me again." You complained as Anne led you into the bedroom.

"I think everyone always says that. Give it a day or two, and we'll see what you say." Anne said, laying you down.

"I hate this!" You cried, squeezing Anne's hand.

"And I hate Eddie and Venom aren't here for you to break their hands!" Anne exclaimed.

"We're here!" Venom shouted, bursting into the room with a terrified Dan in his arms.

"Never again," Dan muttered as he moved to your side. "Anne, can you get me some hot water, towels and some scissors? Sterilised, please. Oh, and some gloves!"

"Eddie? Venom? One of you want to take my place?" Anne asked, trying to wrench her hand out of yours.

"I got it," Eddie said, taking your hand. "How ya feeling, Y/N?" He asked you as Venom formed behind you.

"Like a watermelon's trying to force itself out of my cooter!" You groaned.

"Here!" Anne said, running back into the room with everything Dan requested.

"Alright, Y/N, I have to take your pants off now. Is that okay?" Dan asked, snapping on the gloves.

"Yes! Yes! Just get this kid out of me!"

"Do not look down there, Dan!" Venom snapped, smacking the doctor in the head.

"He has to so he can deliver the baby, Vee." Eddie reined in the symbiote. 

"Keep your eyes to yourself, Dan." 

"Holy mackerel! You're already fully dilated, Y/N." Dan told you.

"Does that mean I can push? Please, tell me I can push!" You yelled, squeezing Eddie's hand so tightly you could swear you heard a crack.

"Yeah, next contraction, give it your all," Dan told you. "Annie, I need you to be ready to catch the baby. They're moving fast."

"On it."

"Already, Y/N, ready?"

"Get this kid out of me."

"Push, Y/N, push."

"Holy shit!"

"Oh my God! Y/N, this is a horror show!"

"Fuck you, Eddie!" You screeched. "Neither of you are ever touching me again! You hear me?"

"One more push, Y/N." 

"I hate you two! You hear me!"

"I hate myself right now too!" 

"Y/N, you just broke Eddie's hand!"

"You're lucky it wasn't yours!" You yelled before a baby's squalling cut you off.

"It's a girl!" Dan exclaimed. "You want to cut the cord, Eddie?"

"Can I?" Eddie asked, looking between you, Venom and Dan.

"Go for it, Eddie. I'm just gonna lay here." You smiled, leaning back into Venom's chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Eddie apologised after cutting the cord. "I think she hates me." He panicked.

"She's a newborn, Eddie." Anne laughed as she wrapped a blanket loosely around the baby. "They hate the world." She said as she placed your little girl on your chest.

"Oh, hi. Hi, there, little one." You cooed. "Oh, my God. She's so small. Look at her."

"I'm not looking away," Eddie said, sitting by your side. 

"We made her." Venom purred, gently touching the baby's face.

At Venom's touch, the baby stopped squealing and looked around for a second. And then it happened.

It was almost like she flickered. One second her skin was bright red and human, and the next, it was the same as Venoms.

"Did you see that?" Venom jumped.

"Yeah, she's just like her dad." Eddie smiled at the symbiote. 

"Both of you. I think that's your nose, Eddie." You smiled.

"Oh no, let's hope she has your smile to balance that out." Eddie laughed.

"Who cares? She's perfect either way."

"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" 

Remember, all Taglists are open, as are requests. Taglists include the main taglist, individual characters, all male/female, and venom stories.

Taglist

@rvgrsbrns @smilexcaptainx @hopingforbarnes @starlingelliot @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @jelly-fishy-babie @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @reann-shitposting @skadikh @summergeezburr @buckybarton03 @sunshinepower17 @natasharomanoffismywife@keenmarvellover @bbybarness @storiesbystarlight @buckybarnesplumwhore @bromieeomieee @marvelmenarebeautiful @niki-is-a-thing @pauloonig @abyssiniapleasant @beautybyfire @officalmarvelbaby @acertainredhead @reapersan @adoreyou976 @casperlikej @songbirdcannabe @montygator17 @cecedrake2217 @nyx2021 @black-dhalias @idontwannagomrstarkk @chiyongberry @bunnyweasley23

Venom Taglist

@scpdragon @starryktin

[s0fti3w1tch]

ROTTMNT Leo-Focus fics I like

Gen fics, no ships edition

Ongoing:

Two Souls by Virgilisspidey (18/?, 105k words)

Leonardo has a friend that nobody else can see. "Aoi" has been beside him for as long as he could ever remember. AKA: A ROTTMNT rewrite where 2k12!Leonardo's soul is attached to Rise Leo's and "acts like a weird imaginary friend."

Personal note: the fic I loved so much I decided to make a ficlet of it. No serious, I love this one a lot.

Shell Shocked (Literally) by Pachinko_Lessons_101 (12/? chapters, 19k words)

Leonardo gets transported to Bayverse after a lab mishap with Donnie. Emotions ensue.

Personal Notes: Literally the story that got me into reading and writing fanfic again in 2022 after 4 years.

Every Night the Longest Day by ashtreelane (16/17 chapters, 42k words)

Leonardo gets hit with a curse that doesn't allow him to sleep. With sleep deprivation getting to him with each passing day, his family desperately searches for a fix.

Personal note: I unfortunately know from personal experience this fic is very accurate to bad sleep deprivation. Not to the extent in the fic, but damn I've stayed up.

You Are Not My Brothers by Marien0_0StrawberryMilk (3/? chapters, 2.5k words)

We have Baron "I wanted to make weapons of war but the tiny red-eared slider called me dad and I'm experiencing a moral dilemma" Draxum. In which Lou Jitsu lost one of the turtles, and Draxum accidentally becomes Leonardo's parent.

Completed, Multi-chapter:

waiting on a miracle by lydiasgrace (11 chapters, 29k words)

Leo watches 'Encanto' and he gets inspired to pull another Leo "it's not about me" move and carry the weight of his family post-kraang healing by himself. It's ow.

His World by SkylerSkyhigh (25 chapters, 124k words)

After the events of the Kraang, Leonardo starts to "hallucinate" other versions of himself, guiding him on leadership. AKA, 2k12!Leo and Future!Rise Leo work through very Leo issues with Rise Leo. Oh BTW, it turns into a musical by the midpoint. Do not be fooled, there's still ouch.

Warning: Disability erasure of a canonically disabled character in the final chapter. Something that I, as a disabled reader, care deeply about and have felt really genuinely hurt by in a fic I liked everything else about. Please remember to educate and not harass the author about this if you wish to call it out (note that I have -spoilers contained- commented about it already).

Proud Hermanos by HellsTrojanHorse (9 chapters, 8k words)

Señor Hueso teaches Leonardo how to play guitar. Leonardo expresses his emotions and love through music. ( w/ Songs from Disney's Coco. )

Cradled Close by Poppyseed20 (2 chapters, 2.9k words)

2 different points in time where Splinter takes care of sick Leonardo.

One Shots:

Tiger and Turtle by Dream_En (1.9k words)

Tigerclaw stumbled upon a crying tot!Leo. He keeps him company 'til Leo's family could find him.

a month or two by anonymous user (9k words)

5 times Leonardo comforts his family post-Kraang, and the 1 time he gets it back.

No Use Crying Over Spilt Milk by SIverfandweedo (879 words)

Leonardo drops a glass of milk and it's overwhelming.

Personal note: he's just like me!!!

"Anytime" by zesty_lemony (Lemons_are_just_cake) (711 words)

Leonardo has a breakdown and his brothers are there to comfort him.

Freezing heart by Sweet_bubbs (1.9k words)

It's winter, and the heating in Leo's room sucks. He doesn't tell anyone.

Creative title goes here by callmesummon (460 words)

Baby Leo has a nightmare and Splinter's there to help

I Don't Dance by SkylersSkyhigh (2.4k words)

A diegetic musical number between Rise Leo, Future!Rise Leo, 12!Leo fighting against the Sando Brothers in the span of a 4-minute High School Musical 2 song.

all the things that i could live without by taizi (1.3k words)

Just some family fluff with Donatello and an injured Leonardo, post-Kraang.

[biographydivider]

“Is that something you want to talk about?”

Rottmnt😉

"So...is that something you want to talk about?"

Raph leaned his full weight against the closet door, making it creak. "D?"

A long moment of silence. Then; a single knock.

No.

"Okay, tha's fine. As long as I know you're in there, bud. If I gotta organise a search party I'd wanna do it before Dad gets home." He laughed; a single awkward bark.

The Comfy Closet had been something Donnie and Dad had put together after The Great Sudsy Meltdown when Donnie was five. It was stuffed full of bedsheets and pillows, old pyjamas worn to a buttery softness, once-loved plushies waiting for their moment to shine and fuzzy, cosy blankets. Usually, Donnie just took a armful to bed when he was feeling overstimulated. Tonight, apparently, he'd simply walked in and closed the door.

It had been Raph's fault. He'd missed the signals that Donnie was approaching Meltdown Status; the glassy eyes, the snappish responses to being prompted to tidy up the common room/work on survellience for the next patrol/drink some water once in a while, the gritted-teeth insistence that they all thought he was stupid, that he wasn't a dumb-dumb, you know, and why couldn't everyone just shut up for a second...

So Raph, being Raph, had reached out and spun him by the shoulder, insisting Donnie needed to tell him what was wrong. And that was when Donnie spat back; "Do not fucking touch me, Raphael."

"Oooooooooh," Mikey had sang, sticking his head into the garage at just the wrong moment. "Donnie cuuuurrrrsed, he gon' get in trooouuu...ble."

Seeing his brother's faces, he'd swiftly retreated. That had been two hours ago, and no-one had seen Donnie since.

"Look, D," Raph continued, picking nervously as the skin of his knuckles, "I don't think you're a dumb-dumb, alright? No-one does. I just...I just blunder on ahead sometimes, y'know? Barking orders and giving you guys a hard time for...for nothin'. Like, you guys aren't babies no more, are you?"

A single knock.

"An'...an' I've always done that, haven't I, D?"

Two knocks. Yes. Raph winced. He knew what Donnie was thinking about. He was thinking about it, too.

Raph had been six. Dad hadn't been good for a month or two. Distant, you know? So Raph had been Big Brother, Playmate and Authority Figure for a while, and the younger kids were starting to rebel. He'd managed to wrestle Mikey and Leo into the bath, but Donnie was being stubborn. He liked his stink, apparently. So Raph had picked him up bodily and dumped him in the tub. Donnie had slipped, and bashed his soft shell against the taps, hard. His head went under water and he'd inhaled a lungful of frothy bathwater; triggering the biggest meltdown ever seen by man, rat or turtle. Not long after, the Comfy Closet was born.

Raph's knuckle worked its way into his mouth, and he worried at the skin with his tooth. Something he only did when he was feeling nervous. Or guilty.

"Aw, D...I'm so sorry. I just...you'd think after all this time, I'd be able to read yous guys' signals better, huh? Some leader I am."

Dont cry. Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't--

A creak. Raph stilled. The feeling of a hand inching its way along the ridge of his shell, down to his shoulder.

Pat. Pat pat. Pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat...

Raph snorted; his nose suddenly full of tears and snot. Donnie had had a lot of nonverbal spells as a tot, and it always made Raph fret. Especially after the Great Sudsy Meltdown. So his brother used to sit and drum merrily away on Raph's shell, or his leg, or the top of his head. It was his little way of saying hey, I can't talk right now, but that doesn't mean we're not speaking. I still love you.

Raph reached up, found the wrist that the hand was attached to.

Pat pat pat pat pat pat. Pat pat.

They did that for ten minutes or more, in silence. Then, Raph laughed.

"We're so dumb."

Two knocks.

"Well," Raph continued, "when you want it, the shower's free. You can have it as hot as you want, with the scrubby brush for your shell? It'd make you feel better. Then maybe we'll order takeout, play some video games...you still need to help me with my Creature Crossing island..."

The closet door bumped against his shell; once, twice. Then, Donnie emerged; shark plushie shoved under one arm, Pooh Bear blanket wrapped around his shoulders like the cloak of some disgruntled, pre-school wizard.

"'m keepin' the blankie," he muttered. "An' no-one's gonna say nothin' 'bout it. Capisce?"

"Okay, that's fair. You're a grown turtle, after all."

[dissectingkurtcobain-blog]

Hello L, I'm a huge Kurt fan and a friend of mine has recently read his journals. She said she was kind of disappointed when she had read a part when he says that he wanted " hot babes " to worship his band or something like that because he was kinda jealous of other bands having groupies. Sounded very macho coming from him and since I've never read it out of respect for him, I'd like you to clarify it so I can explain it to her? Bc it's really surprising from Kurt

lol! i think some of that may have been sarcasm and his own sense of humor. what you need to know about Kurt: he had a sense of humor where a looot of things were subversive and ironic. as in…if he was a comedian he’d probably do an entire bit/sketch where he was some gun totting red neck…do you get what i mean? that was his brand of humor, apeing and making fun of the men that he thought were stupid.

what i am saying is: ya’ll should not take everything Kurt says seriously. he was a very sarcastic and subversive dude. and his sense of humor leaned toward that and towards the absurd and the irreverent.

however–you’re going to have to give me the page number to this (please everyone, if you want me to read something in Kurt’s journals to elaborate on, please please provide me w the page number or else i cannot read the context) bc i need the context for it. it could have been a joke or it could have been Kurt lamenting over something like that bc you have to understand…lol people whose parents didn’t love them and love them unconditionally in childhood need a looot of love and affection when older and i imagine a lot of the time Kurt was feeling lonely, rejected, and dejected by society so it could have been him wanting company and someone to love him, nothing to do w any kind of macho or shallow ideas of that. but, idk, bc i dunno what page thats on, i’d need the page number so i can look at the context of this.

N has a copy of the journals she can search through for words so i may ask her when she gets up and edit this

but please guys, if you’re asking me to elaborate on something in the journals please provide me w a page number, bc its hard looking through the journals to find what you need me to elaborate upon in context, thanks

i know you don’t have the journals nonnie…and thats unfortunate tho bc i’d need the exact context for this =/ so, this is the best i can come up w if N can’t find what you’re talking about for me

alright, edit:

[Greetings, Nirvana is a three piece spawned from the bowels of a redneck town called Aberdeen, WA, and hippie commune from Bainbridge Island. Only together for 7 months. Kurdt - Guitar / Vocals | Chris - Bass | Chad - DrumsHave acquired a single on Sub Pop records. A demo’s (a song in Sub Pop’s camp), success and fame and following of millions selling their bottled sweat and locks of hair have proven to be the largest money makers so far but have made future dolls, peaches, lunch boxes and bed sheets in the works. An LP is due this April from the wonderful offices of Sub Pop World Headquarters. Talent agents Bruce Panitt (alias Henry Mancini) and Jonathan Pineman (alias Fred Flintstone) have treated the boys good and the boys hope to work on more projects in the future. Nirvana sounds like Black Sabbath - Playing the Knack, Black Flag, Led Zeppelin, and The Stooges, with a pinch of Bay City Rollers. Their musical influences are: H.R Puffnstuff, Marine Boy, Divorces, drugs, Sound Effects Records, The Beatles, Young Marble Giants, Slayer, Leadbelly, Iggy . Nirvana sees the underground music SEEN as becoming stagnant and more accessible towards commercial major label interests. Does Nirvana want to change this? No way! We want to cash in and suck butt up to the big wigs in hopes that we too can get high and fuck way figure-hot babes who will be required to have a certified AIDS test 2 weeks prior to handing out back stage passes. Soon we will need chick spray repellant. Soon we will be coming to your town and asking if we can stay at your house and use your stove. Soon we will do encores of Gloria and Louie Louie at benefit concerts with all our celebrity friends. We realize that there was once a 60s band called NIRVANA but don’t get us confused with them because they totally Suck Big Fucking Dick. Good Bye. N. Pear Olympia Way98500]

 alright, N found this one…if its this one than he’s obviously 100% joking