#I've been musing about this stuff for like two years and now you're getting to see it help | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cowgurrrl · 1 year ago

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Lavender Girl

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: A field trip [4.7k]

Warnings: financial stress, school fight, June once again introduces an ex, having a muse is creepy and weird, flirting that’s not flirting but it’s not not flirting, June putting her art history knowledge to work

Most days, you're a good teacher. A teacher that students want to eat lunch with or inadvertently include in their silly TikToks. Most days, you're patient and kind and only have to raise your voice a handful of times, if only to be heard over the blanket volume level of teenage conversation. Today is not one of those days. "Guys!" You yell, pausing the music on your computer and turning to look at your class, obviously annoyed. "We're supposed to be talking about Picasso. I don't know why I'm hearing so much conversation about lunch." It's a lie. There was a fight between two students at lunch. It'd also been the topic of conversation in the teacher's lounge, but still.

"Miss, we already talked about Picasso!" One of your kids bemoans, and you raise your eyebrows at them.

"So, if I asked you right now, you could tell me what historical event his painting Guernica is supposed to depict?" You ask. The entire class goes silent as you wait for a response that never comes, and you sigh. "Please, do your work."

The day started with getting yet another email from another gallery, this time from down south, telling you they loved your work but not enough to showcase or buy it. Then, a text from your manager letting you know that paychecks will be late because of technical issues with the system, even though you're already beyond broke. Then, a sad text from Andie about how she's feeling homesick and misses you and wishes you could get on a plane to come see her. Then, to top it all off, an email from your ex, Henry, popped up the second you pulled into the school.

Hey, long time, no talk! I hope you're doing well. I wanted to reach out and let you know I've got an exhibition going up later next week and wanted to invite you to the opening. It's about-

You didn't read any further, anger and a wave of past emotions drowning you before you could. You and Henry were together all throughout college. You met during a freshman art class and were inseparable after that. He was tall, sensitive, and had a penchant for listening to country music when he worked, leading to many delirious nights spent crooning to Emmy-Lou Harris together. He surprised you with new paint and spontaneous trips to scenic parts of Texas to fuel your inspiration. You were happy for a long time. You even thought you'd marry him at one point. He wanted to be the next young, groundbreaking artist, making you his muse, no matter how many times you tried to assure him you were also an artist. Your work would go up in galleries and exhibitions, and everyone in your small program would gossip about the two of you. "He's so talented. It's insane," you heard one of your classmates say once. "And she's so beautiful."

The compliment dug under your skin and stayed there as your relationship failed. You didn't want to be a muse anymore. You stopped letting him paint you in various states of undress and started asking for more alone time to work on your own stuff. You went from being the perfect, polished doll he could position however he wanted and started living in your paint-stained jeans and old, ratty shirt. You started arguing more and more, first about little things like why he left his paint water cups everywhere, and then about big things like your decision to pursue teaching and the "inspiration" he found in an impressionable freshman. He suddenly moved out after graduation without a word, leaving you to nurse your wounds in a half-empty apartment for the rest of your lease, and you hadn't heard from him until this morning.

There's something more than the sting of hearing from him all these years later that bothers you. You're a high school art teacher struggling to make ends meet, and he's doing exactly what he set out to do. He's getting his work in front of his eyes and receiving praise for it. "Why do you wanna be a teacher when you can just be an artist?" He asked you one morning as you studied for your certification exams. "Or, at least, an artist's wife."

"And what if I'm not good at that?" You asked. "Then what? I'm just supposed to be your muse for the rest of my life? Have kids to fuel someone else's inspiration and have no time for my own work? Wither away while you go on to make art and give talks and become a cynic? Fuck that."

You stand by what you said, even all these years later, but there is an irony in that, even as a teacher, you don't have time to do your own work. Still, fuck that. The bell rings and signals the end of another class, and you quickly stand as students start packing up their stuff. "Okay, guys. Remember, your art history essay is due in two weeks! I'm excited to read all about everything you've learned since we started this unit. I love you, and please make good choices." You announce, hoping that at least some of them are listening to you, as they spill out of the classroom and the next students stream in. Ellie's sweet face is a welcome reprieve when she walks in.

"Hey Bellie! How's your day going, kiddo?" You ask, and she smiles. You'll swear up and down all day that you don't have favorite students, but if you did, Ellie would be one of them.

"Good. I have my signed permission slip for the art club field trip." She says. After your experience with Joel outside the bar, you couldn't sleep and knocked out all the field trip paperwork before falling asleep on your couch. But you weren't safe from his lips and broad shoulders, even in your subconscious.

"Oh, my hero! I've been meaning to remind everyone about those. Thanks for getting that in so quickly." You say as she hands the paper to you, Joel's scribbly signature at the bottom. Somehow, you're not surprised that the box indicating he wants to be a chaperone is ticked. "Perfect. Your dad knows when the field trip is?"

"Yeah. He wrote it down on his calendar and everything." She says, rolling her eyes fondly, and you laugh.

"Well, good, because I'm gonna need all the help I can get when I'm dealing with you guys."

"Hey!" She feigns offense as the bell rings, signaling the end of the passing period, and the last of your students comes running in. Ellie takes her seat near the front, and you grab your silly, colorful pointer to talk about Guernica, which is still proudly displayed on the board. After a quick art history lesson, you release them to work on the projects they've been working on for a week now. They still have a few more days before it's due, so more than half of them are slacking off quietly, which you're fine with. As long as you get a finished assignment at the end, they can do whatever they want.

You play quiet music as they work to help them focus and answer some emails. One email that catches your attention is from the parent of one of your students, Dalton, who's an amazing football player but is less than passionate about art, to say the least. You emailed his dad to let him know he was missing some assignments and could still turn them in late for only a slight penalty, but if he turns in nothing at all, you'll have no choice but to fail him. You also CC'd the football coach so he'd know the academic standing of one of his star players. Needless to say, you've been subject to a few not-so-nice emails from all parties involved.

Once you're done firing off another round of emails, you decide to step away from your computer so you don't have to see the next reply until absolutely necessary. Walking around the room to answer questions, give opinions, or just hear what's happening in students' lives always makes you feel better. In one period, you helped a handful of students put the finishing touches on their projects, heard the latest gossip, and talked one of your girls out of sending a nasty text to the boy who just broke her heart. And they say teachers aren't important.

The second you get a little bit of peace during your planning period, your phone buzzes with a notification. Given all the notifications and messages you've received today, you're hesitant to even pull it out of your pocket. But curiosity wins, and you open your phone to find a text from an unsaved number.

Is there anything I should bring to the field trip? Snacks, gum, alcohol?

You laugh to yourself and start typing a message back.

Alcohol won't be necessary, but it might be good to bring some lunch and a few snacks. I think we're gonna try to have a picnic or something at the museum.

Yes, ma'am.

You still feeling up to chaperone? Teenagers are no joke.

Do I need to remind you that I've raised two? I think I can handle a few more.

Oh, I can't wait to see this.

It can't be that hard, right?

On the day of the field trip, it turns out to be that hard. The only adults accompanying twenty teenagers to the museum are you and Joel. They're excited to be out of school and doing something new, but you can feel your migraine starting before you even get on the bus. Thankfully, the ride to the museum (and the traffic) calms them down, and they're more manageable by the time you arrive. A curator meets you outside the front doors and begins by walking your group through the outdoor sculptures, giving a little bit of history of the museum and the pieces themselves. The kids ask insightful questions and take turns snapping photos or even sketching a rough outline of the piece before moving on to the next. You stay at the front of the group while Joel manages the middle and back, silencing kids with a stern look. You fight a smile when you catch him and Ellie lingering at a sculpture, whispering to each other before he urges her forward and takes a sweet picture of her smiling in front of it.

After the initial walk of the grounds, you stop to have lunch in a sunny garden and listen to the kids gush about their favorite part so far and what paintings they're most excited to see inside.

"Miss, what's your favorite thing here?" Kayla asks.

"I like Dream Village by Chagall. If you find it before me, you'll have to let me know." You say. "Do you have a favorite?"

"Not yet. Maybe I'll find it today." Kayla says.

"I like that attitude!"

"Kissass." Jacob coughs, and you both give him a look. You can feel Joel's eyes burning a hole in the back of your head as you stare at Jacob.

"What's my policy?"

"Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Yep." You say, and he sighs.

"You can be anything you want to be, but you're not allowed to be a dick." He mumbles.

"Exactly. So, please, be nice," you say as you fish around in your lunch box for something. "Here, have a cookie. It might help make you feel a little better." He mutters a little thanks and unwraps it, already in a better mood after one bite, and you smile.

"You just carry around cookies, waiting for a kid to be in a bad mood?" Joel asks, and you turn to look at him. He's wearing a plain blue t-shirt and jeans with sunglasses sitting atop his head, but you think it might be your favorite thing he's worn in your presence. You like it when he wears color.

"It was my cookie, but he needs it more than I do," you shrug. "Besides, things like that are a great morale booster. It's hard to be grumpy when you've got something sweet."

"I'm inclined to agree with you." He quips a little too smoothly, his eyes flicking across your face and down to your lips, and you feel your cheeks getting hot. Thankfully, all the kids have returned to their own conversations and couldn't care less about what the Adults are talking about.

"You're relentless." You whisper.

"Do you want me to stop?" He whispers back, and you sigh. If you were a stronger or better person, you might be able to think fast enough to come up with a response, but you're not. So, you just look at him and rack your brain for something to say but come up empty. "That's what I thought." He smiles and offers you his sweating Dr. Pepper can as a peace offering. You roll your eyes at his smug look but take a sip anyway.

Once everyone is done eating, you all stand and make your way into the museum lobby, the kids already chattering about what they want to see.

"Okay, you guys are free to roam but please, please, please remember that you're representing not only the school but also me. Be respectful and kind, and please don't act like you've never been in public before, okay? Go, be free." You say before the kids split off into their little groups with their obligatory activity in hand. Ellie stays near Joel, only a little shy, until Kayla turns around suddenly and waves her on.

"Ellie, c'mon!" She says. Ellie takes a few steps in her direction before turning to look back at Joel.

"Go. I'll be okay." He says.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Now go. Have fun." She doesn't need any more encouragement after that and skitters off with the rest of the kids, leaving you and Joel alone in the atrium.

"She's doing really well." You tell him even though he can clearly see for himself.

"Thanks to you."

"All I did was give her a push."

"Take the credit. You deserve it." He says, his lips pulling into that award-winning smile.

You fall into silence as you walk through the different galleries, Joel never too far behind you. Sometimes, he'll start at the opposite end of the room and work his way down until you meet in the middle, making a deliberate effort to bump your shoulder or hand as he passes. Other times, he'll stay right next to you, and, for some reason, it doesn't bother you. You like being so close to him and feeling his eyes work over the piece like it's a puzzle he doesn't quite know how to work. When he can't stand the quiet anymore, he'll whisper a question to you about the artist or the history, his breathing fanning out across your neck and making the hair there stand on end.

After moving through a big part of the museum together, you and Joel end up at the same painting as the dull hum of voices fills the space between you. You smile to yourself, practically hearing him trying to find something to say as he stands there and observes how the lines of bright colors follow each other. Some are stark and almost resemble lightning in how they move around the canvas, but others are muted, blended together with careful precision and patience. It's hard to imagine what West Texas could've been like in 1953, but this makes it a little easier.

"What's this one supposed to mean?" Joel mumbles, leaning ever so conspicuously into you.

"I can't tell you." You mumble back, and he finally turns to look at you head-on. You meet his eyes with an amused smile, and he shakes his head at you.

"You're really not gonna tell me?"

"I can't tell you what art is supposed to mean to you. I can't tell anyone that."

"But, you're a teacher."

"If you're asking me for an art history lesson, I'd be happy to help, but that's about all I can do for you."

"'S cruel and unusual punishment."

"If art and culture are cruel and unusual punishment, why'd you sign up to chaperone?"

"Maybe I wanted to see my friend," he says, bumping you with his shoulder, and you laugh a little too hard. "What? We can't be friends? Is there a school policy against that, too?"

"Nope, no school policy. I just," You pause and revel in how enraptured he looks at every movement, pause, and breath you take. "I already have friends, so..."

"Oh, and you're 'fraid of bein' too popular?"

"Famously." You say, and he chuckles next to you. You go back to staring at the painting quietly with him so close you can feel his body heat. You're the one to break this time, knocking him with your shoulder to get his attention again. You didn't need to. When you glance at him, you see his focus is on you, not the painting. "It's Texas. Canyon, to be more precise. Up by Amarillo where there's nothing but cattle and desert. O'Keeffe taught out there for a few years and wanted to paint something that showed how big the West is. It's supposed to make you feel like you're two feet tall and seeing the sky for the first time. For her, it might've been the first time in a long time she'd gotten to see a sunset that big. So, she painted it so other people could enjoy sunsets like that. It's like a love letter."

"How d'you do that?" He asks once you're finished explaining, and you furrow your eyebrows.

"Do what?"

"Make little things seem so beautiful." He answers easily, like you asked him what color the sky is. You don't know what to say. What are you supposed to say to something like that?

"'S just what art does." You shrug and break away from his gaze to look at the painting, if only to not feel him staring into your soul.

"No, it's what you do to it. 'S why those kids love you so damn much. You make everythin' feel like a masterpiece, even the little things." He's not flirting. He's not trying to persuade you to do one thing over another. He's genuine and heartfelt. You swear you would start crying if you had a little less sleep. You take a deep breath and lean into him for half a second, just enough to feel his body against yours, before standing upright again.

"Thank you."

"It's what friends are for," he says, leaning into you in return. "I should make sure they haven't seized the museum or anythin'."

"Oh, I can do it. You're a guest."

"And you work too hard," he stops you. "Take a break and enjoy what you love. The world won't end if you take some time for yourself." If ever there were awards to be given out for sweet talking, you think Joel Miller would win all of them.

"Okay," you say, and he walks behind you to move on to the next section. "You really wanna be my friend?" You ask before he can fully pass behind you, looking at him over your shoulder. He smiles devastatingly, light sparkling in his eyes, and nods.

"I really wanna be your friend." He says softly, his voice low and rumbling in his chest. He lingers for a second or two before finally making his way to the group of students, leaving you to scrutinize the painting you've been staring at for God knows how long.

The day crawls to an uneventful close, with you forcing all the students to take a picture in front of the museum for the yearbook. Joel takes your phone out of your hand and all but pushes you in the photo, and your students lovingly welcome you into their little group. In exchange, you grab Joel's phone and take cute pictures of him and Ellie for their own memories. They smile almost identically, and Ellie makes a fake annoyed face when Joel kisses her temple. Your fingers brush against each other when you hand it back, and for a second, you can feel the callouses from his job. It feels like unlocking a new piece of him or a new quirk.

Too bad this isn't a date. Too bad nothing can ever come of this. Too bad you had to meet this way. Too bad. Too bad.

The ride home is quiet and full of the clinking of backpacks and new souvenirs. When you get to the school, parents are waiting in the parking lot with fast food dinners and excited ears to hear all about their days. Almost everyone immediately slinks home, tired and happy, before you can even get close to the school doors. Almost everyone. Joel and Ellie help you carry your backpack and some things you bought for teaching purposes at the museum into your classroom. The school is virtually deserted, and you return to your room to find all the lamps flipped off and mostly positive notes from the sub.

"Dad, what are we gonna do for dinner?" Ellie groans as you sit in your chair and open your email quickly before you can pack up the rest of your stuff. Their dinner debate becomes background noise as you find your inbox full of annoyed messages from Dalton's parents, coaches, and even Principal Martinez regarding his grades. Under all that vitriol sits Henry's half-read message about his gallery opening, and you feel the perfect bubble of your day burst around you. Joel and Ellie seem to realize it because they're both quiet when you tune back into their conversation, and you turn in your chair to look at them.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asks, and you snap out of it, putting on your best teacher everything-is-fine face.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just some emails. It's not important." You wave her off, but Joel isn't so easily convinced. He thinks for a second before pulling his keys out of his pocket and handing them to Ellie.

"Go get some practice driving." He says, jerking his head toward the door, and Ellie's eyes light up.

"Really?!"

"Just bring the car to the front, and don't hit anything!" He says, but she's already taken off with the keys and her stuff in an excited whirlwind. You laugh at her enthusiasm, and Joel leans against one of the desks near you, crossing his arms in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Your whole face fell when you opened that computer."

"It's nothing."

"If we're gonna be friends, you're gonna have to tell me if somethin's wrong otherwise I can't help you." He says, and you fight a smile.

"I don't know how you're gonna help me with this one." You say. He bumps your foot with his and gives you a pleading look. Big brown eyes on men like him should be illegal, you think.

"Talk to me." He begs quietly, and you take a deep breath.

"When I was in college, I dated this guy. He was an artist, too, and we were like the little power couple of our program. Things ended kinda badly and abruptly, and I hadn't heard from him since graduation until last week when he invited me to his gallery opening. I really don't want to go alone because, honestly, I haven't been able to get anything showcased in years, and I'm embarrassed. Plus, he broke my heart and made me feel like shit for a few years." You can't stop the words from falling from you once the dam is broken, but Joel doesn't flinch.

"Well, you've got friends to go with, right?"

"I do," you say. "But I want to invite you."

"Oh." He says, seemingly unintentionally.

"Oh." You repeat. "You can say no. I just thought... since we're friends and all now."

"I just... I don't..." he struggles before finally giving in to what he wants to say, what you think he's wanted to say all day. "I don't think I'm smart enough to go to somethin' like that. I don't know anythin' about art. I don't even know how to dress for those kinda things."

"Nobody knows anything about art. Not really, at least. Especially not Henry."

"You do."

"Then I'll stick with you all night and feed you lines about composition or some shit," you say. "And you just wear a nice shirt and some slacks. Maybe a suit jacket if you're feeling snazzy. It's really not as big a deal as people make it seem. We'll go, drink wine, say something about the colors, play nice, and then we'll leave. I'll have you home by 9:30. Earlier if you really hate it that much." He rolls his neck like he's rattling something around in his head or thinking about your offer, and all you can do is watch him and the way his Adam's apple pressing against the delicate skin of his throat. You're convinced he's gonna say no.

"Are you asking me on a date?" He finally asks, and you laugh.

"Not a date."

"Sounds like a date. You even promised to have me home to my girl at a reasonable time."

"Fine, it's a friend date."

"A friend date?" He raises his eyebrows at you, and you nod.

"It's perfectly normal to go on friend dates, Miller. You're just behind on the times."

"Seems like I am. Maybe you can bring me up to speed during the gallery opening?" He says, and your shoulders drop in relief. "I'll pick you up if you agree to help me not look like an idiot."

"You won't look like an idiot."

"Not with you there, I won't." He says, and you want to laugh, but you also want to tear up a little at his kindness. It's been a long week.

"Thank you, Joel. Really. I owe you." You say, and he nods.

"'S my pleasure," he says. For a minute, you two just stare at each other in your empty classroom like teenagers with an obvious crush. You think that's what you feel like. You think that's all you'll ever be able to feel for him. "I should go. I've got an impatient teenager waitin' for me."

"Yeah. Go get her some dinner, and I'll text you the details." You say as you stand to walk him out. He stands to his full height, opens his arms, and approaches you. You didn't think you were hugging territory, but as his arms wrapped around you, you couldn't help but hug him back.

"Goodnight." He says into your hair, lingering for another moment before disappearing as fast as he appeared.

"Goodnight," you say. With that, he starts walking to the open door with a smile stuck to his face. "Hey, Joel," you call before he can step over the threshold, and he turns around to look at you. "Art is for everyone, and even if it wasn't, you're more than smart enough to enjoy it."

"Yes, ma'am." He says with a half-salute and a wink before stepping out of your classroom. You let yourself rest against your desk and take a deep breath. Finally, you let yourself pull out your phone and read the rest of Henry's email detailing the time and place of the gallery.

I hope you can come. It would really mean a lot to me. I miss talking to you and even though things ended the way they did, I still love you.

See you soon,

Henry Hall

"Fuck that."

TAGLISR: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk

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pricemarshfield · 7 days ago

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2024 fic wrapped

i was tagged by @wetcatspellcaster to do this tag game, and i will take any excuse to talk about myself and my writing so hell yeah. let's do it to it. y'all know the drill, below the cut because i'm a yapper. like genuinely good God this is too long

if you got tagged in this but don't have time to read the full post, i shared a fic of yours that i loved this year :) but also i'm tagging you in the game if you want to participate! and if i didn't tag you but you want to do it, consider yourself tagged :)

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

i feel like i somehow discover this every year but writing's way more fun when you write what you want to read. like whoaaa stepping away from taking requests i don't care about and writing the characters i'm obsessed with is...easier AND more enjoyable? that's crazy. who ever could have guessed this

but also on a more serious answer, i think i've learned that treating my writing as an internal deadline is just not sustainable and doesn't even work. (it works on collaborative projects with ACTUAL deadlines, to be clear to my lovely fellow zine and other project contributors fjdlkf, just not My Personal Fics For Fun.) sure it'd be nice to update every week, or every month, but viewing my hobby like that just stresses me out and then i put off thinking about it and writing at all. writing because i want to and because i enjoy it means i write more and, more importantly, that i enjoy the process of doing it. it also helps that my commenters who were nasty about updates all basically fell off lmao. bye babes, hope you've learned etiquette in whatever fandom you're on now

How has your writing developed this past year?

i think i've gotten MUCH better at hitting character voices this year, which is one benefit of latching onto the nastiest man in the world (raphael) and the weirdest woman to ever exist (my own oc, tav, light of my life and my soul and all that fun stuff). they're so strange and unusual, and i Have to get them right, and because of that when i go back to write...idk, poppy or someone, it's so easy. SO easy. oh, a rich bitch lesbian with an inferiority complex? easy work. tav's experiencing divine madness while fighting a devil to the death but like in a way where they're both horny about it. after writing that (and doing so the way i wanted to!), i find my voice for EVERYBODY is a lot easier to sink into.

i also think i got better at the flow of my sentences and i could not tell you why. i just feel it in my heart. this might just be because of the projects i'm working on Right Now but whatever, if it fits, it fits

Good writing habits?

no longer writing to beat a self-imposed deadline but writing because i want to. not forcing myself to work on a wip if the muse isn't there and instead working on something i AM inspired for or just doing something else. being more intentional with my word choice in ways that will not make sense until chapter 20 of these longfics but I'M kicking my feet and giggling so who care. making sure not All of my wips are for one fandom (or even for fandom at all) so that way if i'm burned out on bg3 or something, i can still write because i want to.

Bad writing habits?

starting so many new wips rather than finishing a fic, oh my god, we're at so many, i think we're at 45 (FORTY-FIVE. NOT A TYPO, NO HYPHEN MISSING) bg3 wips and easily more than half are raphtav alone and it's gonna be at 50 by the end of the month because i have so many ideas and so little time. (more than half of those are multichapter wips. help.) refreshing for comments even when it's been like two minutes rather than not being externally motivated (i. am trying). outlines being a fic in their own right (which is fun but not the purpose of an outline and a habit i am trying! to break).

Favorite thing you wrote?

i am picking like 6 things and no one can stop me #selflove

talk was supposed to be a 3k MAX pwp oneshot to break writer's block, and by god did all 18k words of it accomplish that goal. incredibly nsfw, raphael/tav/haarlep and tav is a freak about it and also not a good person, and i had So Much Fun writing it. it was posted on my birthday as a present to Myself and i might do the same this year with one of the other wips. EXPLICIT before anyone clicks on it, it's not that kinky compared to some other fic out there but it is Very explicit

The Complicated Woman Podcast: Tracker O'Shaughnessey was an exercise in form as much as it was a fic. i used to be a transcriptionist, and i'd been wanting to write a transcript-format fic for Ages, and so when i joined a zine literally named the complicated woman podcast i just had to. that wasn't even the point of the zine but i Did have to. and it slaps! it's been my sample for every (read: one) d20 project i've applied to since and also i love tracker and fig so very much.

eat your young, aka my tav's bad end, has haunted me for more than a year, and FINALLY. i began posting it. updates are going to be slow because every time i sit down to write, tav psychically attacks me with new ideas to make everything worse, and it's great but it takes a minute. both chapters are more than 7k. Help Me (but don't actually because i love it). a lot of people have written "astarion ascends so tav goes to raphael"--which, given fandom, not necessarily a surprise--but i am SO fond of my take on it because tav is so unwell. allying with the devil as "pragmatism". but watch out! you might start to like the guy! (and then. other things). cw canon-typical raphael (but no major archive warnings other than violence)

the ghost of her is a weird little second-person durgezel piece and i'm kind of obsessed with it. it's my durge arcaena's bad end, which is if she Doesn't give into bhaal and lae'zel chooses to go back to vlaakith. i don't know that it's the Best thing i've written but it is one of my Favorites, and that's what matters.

welcome! everything is fine. is my the good place au, and it was supposed to be a oneshot. yes i know that it says 27 chapters. yes i know that just the first two chapters are almost 16k. but it was SUPPOSED to be a oneshot. however the idea of this fic is what launched raphael from "hell yeah, devil with a villain song" to living rent-free in my mind so not really a surprise that it. escalated. (thank you @wretcheddthing, you horrid enabler who Chose to send me "raphael in the good place" when i had just finished house of hope and was unwell about it, and know that this continues to be your fault). making astarion/minsc "soulmates" in this is the funniest decision i've ever made, and i cannot WAIT to get to more of the raphael/tav dynamic in this (she knows, he doesn't know she knows) and also the astarion/tav dynamic but that i can't elaborate on because spoilers. not that a lot of people are reading this one fjdklfjd but that's okay, i'm writing it for me.

this one piece i've shared with maybe 4 people about my oc and her backstory before the world ended slapped severely and i should write more of it.

and then my last answer is one i can't share yet because it's unposted. but it's gonna be sooo fun

Favorite reads?

this one's going to be even longer. i have so much love in my heart, and also i read a lot more than i wrote this year, and i wrote [checks numbers] yikes! i'm not admitting that number!

fic

any and all of these fics are ones i enthusiastically recommend, if i were to gush about why i love all these fics i would hit tumblr's character limit (which. presumably exists) so i've just marked fandom, pairing, and if it's explicit. tags can tell you more <3 so many of these are from my friend molly fjfkd hiiiii molly sorry for tagging you a million times

Against the Tide by domestic_ice - fantasy high, adaine-centric genfic.

and i, reaching by @prettyaveragewhiteshark - arcane, caitlyn/vi, explicit.

Blood in the Wine by @atrueneutral - baldur's gate, raphael/tav, explicit (or will be! it's a slow burn and a VERY good one at that)

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored by @danielmolloystits - interview with the vampire, armand/daniel & daniel/lestat, explicit.

call me any, anytime by nevermore_evermore - fantasy high, fig & sandra lynn & fabian.

cat scratch fever strut by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, gale/tav(/haarlep), explicit.

Cooler Than Me by @wetcatspellcaster (hi yes i know you tagged me but i did love this fic dearly this past year, so!) - baldur's gate, astarion/tav.

Dying in slow motion by @librivore42 - dragon age, choose your own adventure.

esmeltar red supernova by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, karlach/lae'zel/shadowheart, explicit.

give the devil his due by thatsparrow - the devil went down to georgia (yes the song).

i wanna tear you apart by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, lae'zel/shadowheart, explicit.

let me be your friend(ly) fire by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, astarion/shadowheart(/tav but mostly shadowstarion), explicit.

lie down & get fleas by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, raphael/tav, explicit.

make a mess, lioness by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, raphael/tav, explicit.

of street names & subway wall prophecies by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, astarion/shadowheart, explicit.

Part of the Hoard by tangerine_blast - fantasy high, adaine-centric genfic.

Pieces Still Stuck In Your Teeth by @wetcatspellcaster - baldur's gate, astarion/tav.

rewind & play it back by @danielmolloystits, interview with the vampire, armand/daniel.

Sansûkh by determamfidd - lord of the rings, Many pairings.

teeter by @pouralaura - baldur's gate, raphael/tav, explicit.

to forgive is human and failure is divine by @dalgursbate - baldur's gate, lae'zel/shadowheart, explicit.

the war you've come to wage against my sins by @prettyaveragewhiteshark - baldur's gate, mizora/tav.

Warding Bond by @bravestworriers - fantasy high, fig/gorgug, explicit but like Barely. it's mostly about the Dynamics and the Messiness of it all (compliment)

when you move (how the whole world moves) by @goldfyshie927 - arcane, caitlyn/vi, explicit.

who will burn who by @pouralaura - baldur's gate, raphael/tav, explicit.

"Good Boy" by AkbaalKiin - baldur's gate, raphael/haarlep, explicit.

truly everything from the fantastic @reallyhatethiswebsite - can find their stuff collated on ao3 here! a lot of it's explicit (and Good at that)

books/comics/graphic novels/you get the gist

i did NOT read enough this year, and that's one of my resolutions for the next year. i physically felt the lack this last year, i Need to read more. what happened to being the girl who got only books for hanukkah for 8 years huh...gonna return to my roots. half of these are rereads too :( i need to dive into a novel again, it'll fix me

Hellblazer's first/original run by a variety of authors (i am not recommending it. but i enjoyed reading it)

Here by Richard McGuire

Last Flight by Liane Merciel

The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

The Sawbones Book: The Hilarious, Horrifying Road to Modern Medicine by Dr. Sydnee McElroy and Justin McElroy

Tevinter Nights by a variety of authors

Biggest win?

finding joy in writing fic again! wahoo, thanks baldur’s gate and d20 ficoff and also d20 zine jam and also all the zines and things i signed up for last year! 🤸

Goals for the new year?

finish personal problem because i need it done please god. it’s been too long. i also want to run a fic-focused fanevent of some kind that doesn’t require discord (i’ll join discords, and i get why events require it, but i want to run something for the discord-avoidant among us. maybe a bg3 exchange <- i am not committing to this yet no one @ me). also i’m gonna finish this lucanis/veryl (my rook)/spite wip if it kills me because i need to exorcise that energy before it makes me fixate on a game that, much as i am enjoying it, is easily my least favorite in the franchise lol. though maybe i'll finish it and it'll change my mind

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

adverbs, just generally. sorry that ostensibly is a fun word and it's funny to make my 8 intelligence tav use it incorrectly! sue me! i also loved what you added to it by sharing your favorite turns of phrase, dr. wetcat, so i’ll do the same 🤸

"Hubris and ambition both dog his steps even in the retelling, making him out to practically be Karsus reborn, in overreach and skill." from welcome! everything is fine. (sorry gale. for this and also for everything that's gonna happen in this fic...tav's not a fan of wizards and also not of gale specifically </3)

"The look has something wild to it, the whites of her eyes flashing like a cornered animal's, even as she visibly schools her expression into something less vulnerable." from in truth tempest can never be tamed (for real cw on graphic depictions of violence if you choose to read this one, that archive warning is Very Much Needed)

"You can have my simpering submission, my perfect, obsequious obedience, knowing you'll have earned none of it." from talk. this one is my favorite because i love writing characters who are so annoying that they're using the word "obsequious" in bed <3 AND the fic is still hot. go me

"The pawn shop, while also not hiring, let her loiter in the cool air for almost an hour before she had to make the trek back, and she could have cried from the mercy if she’d had any water left in her." from my aforementioned zombie oc piece wahoo. i miss this oc, i should write more of her

"Familiar, alive, and hot in her chest, heart beating and burning and beating ever forward." from what a horror i've become, which i know says it was posted in 2025 but it's from a zine that i worked on last year so! in this post it goes

What are you excited for in the new year?

i get to write more niche stuff for myself and my favorite people hooray. you love to see it. also i'm writing for a fangame which is just incredibly rad and that'll be coming out this year, so hell yeah. also d20 ficoff 2025!! i'm helping mod it! AND i get to write more of my beloved tav khoury, the world's worst woman! fuck yeah! honestly most of all i'm excited to have a year where i'm excited to write? had that stupid catfish situation + a few rude anons that kinda sucked the joy of writing fic from me for a minute and it's nice to have it back.

#good god this is so long. no wonder all my wips are getting to be like 30k Minimum #mayhaps another habit i should break but i'm having too much fun to commit to that yet #about me #tag games #if the cut doesn't work i'm so sorry.

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nearestend · 17 days ago

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will be moving blogs at some point in the new year. not sure when exactly (i'm busy right now) and it might just be temporary, but if you're interested in following me there, you can let me know. (feel free to like this post or send me a message on disco, anything really works.)

might make some changes? a lot of it is still being considered, but here's how i think it will go. (a lot of it is just me thinking out loud. that helps me. and i also just want to be transparent.)

canons will probably be secondary priority, if not lower. still really happy to write them with friends if we have ongoing plots or discussions, but generally not eager to put them at the forefront. for a lot of reasons. (i could say that i think a lot of canons get treated as trends that will die out eventually... and it's fine if that's your thing, but i don't really like it for myself and don't want to do that. there's a whole convo to be had about that. now is not the time for it.)

i think my general rule is going to just be, if i don't see potential for developing a character in depth, i'm not going to list them on my roster. there will still be some that are more developed than others, but if there isn't at least potential for me to do that, i won't be listing them. it's just a priorities thing right now.

honestly, if we're good enough friends and i've written someone previously that you want to continue interacting with, you can ask about it. just because they aren't listed, doesn't mean i won't write them but it will just be slower. that being said, i probably won't do this unless we know each other pretty well and you're still willing to write with the ones i prioritize.

in terms if who i will/won't follow ... eh i don't like this topic but i do think i should say that there is a chance i won't follow some people back. i don't have any actual beef with anyone, but there's been some stuff over the past year that wasn't really fun to even witness from afar (most of it pertains to how ableism and racism were handled). i don't care enough to hold that against anyone in a serious way or try to have that conversation with people who aren't willing to respond constructively, but it's not especially nice to see and better not to engage. idk. my general thing is that if it's not safe and enjoyable to engage with a certain aspect of this webbed site then i'm just not going to.

there might also just be some instances where i won't follow back because i don't know if we have anything to talk about. and that's fine! i think it's okay not to click with every person you know. but i'm not going to rule anyone out entirely — it's situational and i like to give anyone who expresses interest in being friends/mutuals a chance. no hard feelings to anyone if something doesn't work out.

i probably won't advertise my new url that much just because i like a small circle, but i'm not going to hide it either. most likely just going to privately message my new url to friends who want to follow. if you come across it in the wild, you're welcome to perceive it anyways!

in terms of what my actual priorities are ... we already know that it will always be alice (number one gal). probably lozzie and noah too (she's number two and he is number three but they're kind of interchangeable). hmmm everyone else is still to be determined because they usually fluctuate. i think mostly everyone on the current oc roster will stay though. might do a thing like "permanent roster, always available" and "who knows about these guys — they're here if you want 'em but (vague gesturing)". that being said, if i added any muses specifically for a friend, i'll keep them around because that's half the fun of this for me.

will continue to prioritize disco stuff, especially if it's for longer in-depth threads with more plotting. i think that disco's platform just makes it easier/more relaxing for me. tumblr tends to be a bit harder to write very intricate plots just because i'm conscious of perfectionism here, but i don't mind it for fun casual stuff. you can always let me know your preferences, i'm pretty open-minded.

triggers will be present. unfortunately, they will always be present due to the nature of a lot of these characters. and i'll include warnings for everything, but i do want to emphasize this very much. just be aware of your own needs and comfort, i'm available for a respectful and open dialogue as needed too, but ultimately i want us to make our own choices and not feel obligated to partake in anything just for the sake of it.

well. i don't know if any of this made sense because i did not plan this out when i began this post. but that's the general / important stuff that i wanted people to be aware of before following. i'll probably do the official move soon-ish, depending on my availability, and keep you all updated when i do.

AS ALWAYS! i'm on disco. if we are friends who talk regularly (or even semi-regularly) on there, you will probably get a follow from me regardless. pretty much anyone who i currently have an active server with will get a follow from me unless they don't want one (which you're welcome to actually say, if you want. i won't be offended even if you say "nah i'm good, see ya". honestly that would be pretty funny and i hope someone does that sincerely.)

#i got like a url picked out that i rlly like #only really holding off because idk how i want to present my layout for bios yet #i'll keep the current ones up anyways for reference. but smth condensed might also be good for this blog

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corcnaiism · 21 days ago

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;-- alrighty so i have come to my decision. i will be moving my oc and my gf muses to another blog bc i feel like there is so much lore ive created and will be creating that will require its own blog for me to dump everything in without feeling like im clogging the dash.

i also been feeling like this blog has run dry and i need to start fresh again. i will keep it with the other muses i have just in case i get inspo to write them, but so far ive been nose deep in gf, especially with my oc that is heavily involved in that verse, so i feel like i just need another blog for me to throw all that stuff into.

i also just haven't been feeling comfortable in this blog anymore even with the things ive tried doing to make it easier for me to be around. it's like ive disconnected myself/been disconnected from the rest of the community, and i honestly just need to go somewhere else and start anew. even tho i might not get a lot of interactions for gf stuff, at least i won't feel like i'm blowing someone's dash and feeling annoying or something. sure, people would've just unfollowed/block me, but still idk i just feel uneasy speaking about the things ive been super passionate about lately. i might not get much traction either once i move blogs, but at least it'll feel like i'm throwing my ideas out there to those who genuinely want to see me yap my brains out or even just to myself without feeling awkward doing so.

i blame my low self esteem tbh. i just have zero confidence in myself when it comes to putting myself out there, and sometimes it gets to me that i don't have someone to talk to about things or feel like im being ignored/annoying. it's honestly just my own fault tbh and giving myself a hard time, and this is just something i deal with on a day to day basis whether it be online or irl.

so yeah ill just stop there before i get into trauma-dumping territory but uh yeah so ill most likely be creating a new blog and pouring all of my gf stuff on there with my oc and my other canon muses. i just feel like that's the better option bc like i said there has been so much ive written and still have to write about the worldbuilding for that universe where my oc exists within the gf realm that i feel it deserves to have its own blog. ill be turning this blog into my secondary blog and come back to it every now and then when i get muses for other fandoms. i feel like this will just be better for my own mental health too and stay away from feeling isolated.

if you read this far and you have written with any of gf muses, oc included, i will be moving our threads over to the new blog and tag you appropriately if you wish to continue. i'll post something on here whenever i've moved to the new blog so you're aware that it's me tagging you just in case you're confused as well as sending dms. i'll probably have this new blog up and running after the holidays and my trip, so expect an update or two on the upcoming new year.

and another note if you've read this far, i wanna wish you all happy holidays and please make sure you do what you can to stay safe. i love you guys and thank you so much for giving me another lovely year <3

#;ooc #:^)#;cw: vent #(?)#me thinks #just wanted to get this off my chest #and also an important update concerning the state of this blog and what's to come #also side note for those who sent me the holiday treat prompt #i will have to postpone the gifts until i come back from my trip i apologize #i didn't have time this week to focus on them #but i have been working on them and want to make sure they are completed #so ill be needing more time #thank you all again for your patience really means a lot #<3

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ofandrastes · 25 days ago

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LET'S GET REACQUAINTED ! hey rpc ! lets be honest, datv brought us all back in one way or another either you're a veteran or new, i'm sure there is stuff that has changed or we don't know each other so let's have a game about it to reintroduce each other ! repost this to do the same & tag some pals if you want !

Name / Penname: Ray for veterans, did you go by something previously ? name &/or penname: nope, always just Ray age & gender ( if comfortable sharing ): 28, female what was your first dragon age muse: Does all of them count? Ha! I guess I would say Maverick though, but he was originally a BG3 muse that I converted over for the DA setting when I started this blog up again. do you have any other darp muses / blogs: Nope, this is my first. what muses / blogs do you have outside of darp: My personal blog is @sambergcrs and tbh I am so inactive on that it's not even funny. It's my general musing & gif making blog because I've spent the last like 12 years or so doing rp groups. I only made my indie last year when BG3 came out and I was ITCHING to write in that universe!! So now I'm here, took a bit of a break over the last like 5 months because of a new job, but I'm back with my Dragon Age obsession reignited (even though I have not finished Veilguard...oops). thedas has two moons: I am unfortunately TERRIBLE at keeping track of lore so truly Bioware I feel you.

single line, para, or novella: Para/Novella. I don't mind what other people do but I am incapable of shortening replies half the time. SORRY. plotting or winging it: I am fine with both but I find I typically reply a lot faster and become more engaged in threads where we've plotted things out. Winging it with memes, starter calls and such are a great way to gauge chemistry and can serve super well as a jumping off point, though. fighting threads, you bold enough for them? They scare me truthfully but I could be down! My writing style is very...internalized as far as my characters go. I can dive into their psyches and write about why they do and feel the things they do and feel all day. So, admittedly I wouldn't say I'm super comfortable with them BUT I am more than willing to as long as we plot something out in detail & my partner is patient with me. what content warnings are on your blog?: Very few, just a general NSFW content may be present. I can always add more, but in general it's just possible smeggsual content and possible violence/gore. what things do you need tagged for your comfort?: I truly don't need anything tagged for my own purposes, but if that changes I will update my rules & let my writing partners know..

shipping preferences: single | multi | no ship | polyship. Wrote up a rule about this earlier this week! I am very versatile, happy to pair my muses up for multiple ships, but when it comes to canon characters I impose a limit. For example, I probably won't ship with more than one or two, say, Fenris' (FYI, I currently don't have any wink wink) because I find coming up with so many different dynamics between multiple portrayals a bit tiring, personally. Also, if my partners have rules I will typically follow them. But! Overall, I'm a ship fiend. Happy to discuss anything and everything. Also, would love more polyship opportunities. shipping boundaries: See above regarding canon characters, but I don't have too many hard boundaries right off the bat. Nothing generally inappropriate, obviously, or outright problematic. I'll always be open to ideas but will enforce my boundaries when they come up, and I hope others will feel comfortable to do the same.

fun facts about yourself that may have changed since in the past ten years( when inquisition dropped )-- damn I mean I graduated high school and college and then went into the working world, got married, moved a bunch, bought a house. It's certainly been a hard journey, especially the past few years or so in dealing with some of my husband's health struggled, but overall it's wild to see how much growth I've had and see how long these games have endured the test of time.

be honest, did you miss darp. come on now: I have never been a part of this community before, but I love it. I've had a great time & I can't wait to interact with more people!

challenge round! put a small top five things unrelated to dragon age ! - i have a 9 year old pitbull/corgi mix named dingo, and a 2 year old tuxedo cat named suki. i would do terrible things for them - i have a degree in television production but now i market forklifts for a living LMAO - hot rod is the greatest movie ever made - diet pepsi is superior to diet coke dont even @ me - go birds!!!!!

tagged by: @alitlantern & @onlyinthedas & i think more a while ago i am SORRY IM SLOW

tagging: you!! bc i cant keep up with who did this already and im shy!!

#ooc; ray says #( this took ages for some reason my god )

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idolbound · 1 month ago

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Name / Penname: Lexie for veterans, did you go by something previously ? if so what was it if you're comfortable sharing that name &/or penname: Nope, I've always gone by Lexie. age & gender( if comfortable sharing ): 30, female what was your first dragon age muse: I want to say it was my Cassandra, originally @stabbystabseeker , then I had my Hawke and Inquis both for a hot second as well as Meredith in 2015. do you have any other darp muses / blogs: I have Cassandra, my Rook, and soon to be Rana Savas on my multi @afraidofchange what muses / blogs do you have outside of darp: Mostly still just my multi, but I did throw my D&D/Bg3 Paladin Rama on a solo blog for the time being @wolfbluff thedas has two moons: true | false - is that not the canon?

single line, para, or novella: all of the above, but I don't like single line stuff to go on for more than a few replies/single evening. I need at least some exposition and description lol. plotting or winging it: Typically memes or plotting more generally. It doesn't have to be super specific but I like having mutually shared ideas. fighting threads, you bold enough for them?: I write a villain with a boss fight; of course I'm down to write them. Meredith is also a powerful templar, and isn't afraid to fuck someone up. (this would require plotting, obviously no god modding, but yknow). what content warnings are on your blog?: Drug usage with lyrium (or cocaine in modern verse), violence, PTSD, violence, gore/blood, uh, genocide of the Circle mages, etc. I don't sanitize Meredith, but I approach these topics with respect. what things do you need tagged for your comfort?: suicide & self-harm.

shipping preferences: single | multi | no ship | polyship (sorry Meredith is polyphobic xoxo)- typically, I'm open to separate ships, but because of who Meredith is, some plotting is necessary - I do not change her character to suit a ship (but I have a greater ability to ship her in post-DA2 verses or modern verse, where she isn't as limited). shipping boundaries: Meredith is a lesbian. I ship her with other female muses. She's also between 35-45 years of age during the Kirkwall timeline, and while I'm open to certain age gaps, I prefer to at least ship her with someone 25+ and has their frontal lobe fully developed. I'm pretty selective with my ships, but if there's a vibe, I'd be interested in exploring it (casual, short or long term). favorite ships in dragon age: There are so so many canon x canons, but if we're gonna count romance options in the games: Morrigan/Warden, Isabela/f!Hawke, Cassandra/Inquis, Neve/Rook. favorite ships from the rpc( tag your friends ships ! ): There are a few whose URLs are escaping me but trust me when I say that I see you, especially those of us that have been writing the same ships w the same people for years. So shout out to @sanctamater for writing Kirkwall's Worst Sapphics together <3

fun facts about yourself that may have changed since in the past ten years( when inquisition dropped )--

I moved halfway across the country and I'm 2.5 years into writing my doctorate. (Also it's been almost 10 years since I started writing Mere). My best friend is due with twins any day now (we only know Baby A is female, we still don't know what Baby B's sex is because they've kept their legs closed this entire time), but I'll be an auntie before 2024 is out.

be honest, did you miss darp. come on now--

I missed a lot of the people I wrote with back in the day and thankfully many of them have come back. I don't miss the crazy insane drama / insane behaviour that happened in this RPC, and quite frankly, I do wish more people would branch out and write more actually sapphic women, dwarves, and villains / morally grey protagonists (beyond blood mage Hawkes for example).

challenge round ! put a small top five things unrelated to dragon age !

Let's do Music things since spotify wrapped just dropped:

Chappell Roan's rise to stardom in 2024 (but I was a fan about a year before because @magicbound recommended me Red Wine Supernova on Discord).

Brat Summer.

Katie Gavin's solo album What a Relief emotionally destroyed me because it released a week after my break up, but I still bought it on vinyl.

Cat Burns did not only a cover of I like the way you kiss me but she also did teenage dirtbag and they're both amazing!

Megan Thee Stallion is the greatest rapper of our generation. I said what I said.

tagging: @sanctamater @theharellan @theodosiani @prophetries

#OOC.#MUN.#[ thank you Lou for reposting this meme ; thank you @ elthorn for posting originally ]

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blossomwritesthings · 1 year ago

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𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐬

⬷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. drinking/partying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉

word count: 2.6k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

a/n: I wanted to get this out like, last week... but then life hit and adult responsibilities came along so this is where we're at now. 💀 i'm planning on having this be about 8-10 parts, so we're almost halfway through this little series of mine~ 😖 anyways, go vote for skz on the vmas, and stream superbowl jpn ver!!!! also, I've been working on this one minho smut piece for the past week and... it might get released tmrw, but we'll see... just, get your panties ready, everyone!! 😃👍🏼

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The moment Felix pulled up to his ‘secret location,’ you turned over to look at him with wide eyes and a dropped mouth.

“Why are we here?” You asked as you watched him switch the car off and flash you a playful smirk.

“Thought it might help to make you feel better… sweets always do that for me, at least.” He shrugged nonchalantly, like him bringing you to the ice cream shop of your childhood wasn’t that big of a deal. The Ice Cream Hut was located right on the popular local boardwalk of Bridgeport Bay and was open 24/7. Throughout your childhood, you and your friends had frequented the joint, going all summer long and tasting all the flavors of the rainbow. Felix was a creature of habit and had always chosen the mint chip for his flavor of the day, while you were always trying something new.

Over the years, you had stopped coming to the place. It held too many painful memories for you. And to be honest, you weren’t craving the sweet ice cream like you once were as a young child. You had tried to go into the place soon after Felix left for South Korea, but you ended up just running out and back into your car, in a fitful of tears as the painful memories of your last argument resurfaced.

As soon as you entered the Ice Cream Hut, the smell of freshly baked waffle cones and sugary ice cream filled your nose. “Damn, this place hasn’t changed one bit from how it was during our childhood,” you mused, as you took a peruse around the coolers that held the ice cream. There were well over thirty different flavors, but with it being so late at night, you two were the only ones there.

You turned to Felix and noticed him giving you the look. The one he always had whenever he was feeling super happy. It spread across his face, turning the corners of his mouth up and crinkling the edges of his eyes. He always lit up the entire room whenever he grinned like that.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow his way as you ordered a scoop of rocky road on a waffle cone.

Felix laughed heartily, like him taking you to an ice cream place at two in the morning on a Sunday was something the two of you did regularly. Well, it was something you two used to do. That is, until everything turned to shit and he moved away and your heart broke again and again with every day that passed. “I don’t know- I’m just happy to see that you’re feeling a little better.” He said, going ahead and ordering his usual - a scoop of mint chip on a sugar cone.

At the mention of the party from an hour before, and the way that everything had blown up in your face, you felt your heart start to throb with a dull ache. In an instant, a cool shiver was running down the length of your spine, and you were already finding a seat near the window of the shop to catch your breath.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it,” Felix started, reaching out to you from his seat across the small blue-stained wooden table and offering your free hand a gentle squeeze. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to… I totally understand if you want to forget about it all.”

You found yourself shaking your head, taking a tiny lick of your ice cream to try and quell the rising agony that was lifting from your chest and into your throat. You could feel it coating your cheeks in a healthy dose of crimson, coloring your ears in a pinky-blush. “No- no, it’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it.”

Felix offered you a frown, and you could feel his eyes scan up and down your slumped form as you took a huge bite out of your cone. “You know… it’s okay to be upset about it. I think any sane person would,” you peered up at him through your blurry eyes. The bright lights of the ice cream shop made your head throb painfully and your eyes water from unshed tears. “Just, don’t hold anything inside, yeah? That shit- bottling it all up, isn’t good for you.”

You stayed silent after that, focusing on your ice cream for a little bit. Focusing on the view that was just outside the window. The ocean could be seen in the distance, but with the time of day, it just looked like a black mass of nothingness. It almost resembled what you were feeling at that moment - bleak and cold and deep, with so many different emotions swirling in your depths all at once.

“At the moment, I was mostly just angry,” you began hesitantly after the two of you had finished your ice cream and you were sitting back in your chair. He was right - the sweetness was helping to soothe the ache of everything. Sure, it was cloying on your tongue, but at least you were concentrating more on that than the resentment that you felt buried deep in your soul. “But now, I’m just really fucking upset. Like… why the fuck would he do such a thing? And I know it was just some stupid party game and he just meant it as a joke, but-”

“What if it... wasn’t a joke, Y/N?”

His question came out a little hushed, and as your eyes flitted up to stare at him, it felt like it was only the two of you in the shop at that moment. The employee that was standing behind the counter scrolling on his phone seemed to melt away, and all you could pay attention to was the way that he was gazing back at you.

Dark brows pulled together,

Jaw stretched tautly,

Lips pressed into a firm line,

Eyes sparkling with a myriad of concerns and worries.

“W-What?” You tripped over your words, hands fiddling with the hemline of your shirt to keep yourself busy. To keep your mind busy.

“I mean… what if that wasn’t a one-off thing? Not just a party game thing?” You could tell he was hesitant to continue, as he tilted his head to one side, gauging your reaction to his words by his eyes bouncing around your form. “I mean, what if it’s something that happens quite often?”

You gave him an incredulous chuckle, “What, like Chris is fucking my best friend?”

At his quietness, you turned rigid in your seat.

Spine going stiff as a board,

The blood rushing like icy heat through your veins,

Mind spinning out of control as you began to conjure up all kinds of ideas and wonderings.

“Felix- do you… do you know something that I don’t?” Your voice came out grave and quiet, as you felt your eyes widen in shock. You could feel your heart beat against your chest so fast, it felt like you were about to break all of your ribs from the impact.

He offered you a peculiar look. One that you couldn’t quite read all of the way. Almost like, he already had his answer for you, but knew you wouldn’t like it, so he was withholding the information. And one thing that you loathed the most in the world, was when people would hide shit from you.

At his silence, you spoke up again. “Felix, if you know something, you need to fucking tell me right now or I swear I’ll-”

He threw his hands up in the air in defeat, offering you a deep frown and running a few fingers through his messy blonde hair. Even though he hadn’t drunk at the party, it sure looked like it. With the messy cuff of his violet-purple graphic tee and flushed cheeks. It almost seemed like… he had been with someone at the party. Made out in the back corner of Jeongin’s living room and stuck his tongue down someone’s throat and you didn’t know how to feel about that. It was apparent from the flush of his cheeks - the swollenness around the corners of his lips.

Finally, he was speaking again. But his voice came out hushed like he was afraid someone you knew would walk in any minute. Someone like Chris. And hear his words. “It’s just that… I’ve noticed some things between him and Yeji. Like- the air is charged when they’re together and it was so fucking obvious tonight. And I don’t fucking know, it’s really-”

In the next breath, you were shooting up from your chair. Your movements were so fast that the metal scraped against the lime-green linoleum floor and made your eardrums ring with the screech for a second. But nothing else matter at that moment, because all you could focus on was what he was saying.

What Felix was saying.

What your ex-best friend who had abandoned you was trying to claim about your boyfriend.

“Are you saying that Chris is cheating on me?” You asked incredulously, voice already starting to rise. You could feel the red start to creep up the column of your neck again, painting your entire face in a deep shade of crimson. “Sure- what he did at the party was fucked up, but I don’t think he’s actually getting his dick wet with Yeji!”

Felix sat back in his chair, eyes widening by the second at your sudden change in demeanor. And if you were being truly honest, you were more hurt about his suggestion of Chris cheating on you than the stunt that your boyfriend had pulled at the party.

The fact that he was insinuating something so horrible made your stomach churn in a fit of rage, and already, you could feel the red seeping into the edges of your vision. Painting everything in a blush-colored light.

“I’m not saying that, Y/N,” Felix protested, standing up from his chair now as well and gazing at you with a desperate look on his face. One that read of hurt and confusion. “I’m just saying… I think maybe there’s more to him than you think you know about…”

You chuckled, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in your voice. Instead, it came out all gravelly and bitter. And then in the next beat, you were scooping up your handbag from the table and leveling him with a cold stare. “Yeah, well fuck this- I don’t need your bullshit of an excuse for a therapy session when all you’re trying to do is convince me that my boyfriend is sleeping with my best friend!” You shouted, your tone coming out so hard, it cut through the air like an icy dagger. Slicing through skin and heart and puncturing right into Felix.

You could tell it hurt like a bitch, too, from the way his brows crumpled together and the look in his eyes melted from one of confusion to pain. The light that you had found shining there the entire time you ate your ice cream together vanished. That happiness that you had seen flash across his face as soon as you stepped into the Ice Cream Hut was wiped away.In an instant, it drained out of him, leaving him to be a shell of the man that he had been not even five minutes earlier. “Y/N, I-”

But you didn’t afford him the chance to reply, as you flitted out of the ice cream shop’s front door as fast as you could. You set a hellish pace down the sidewalk, and with it being so late at night, the road right alongside you was void of any cars. It was silent, save for the sound of your breath as it fell in anxious patterns in front of you.

In, out,

In, out-

A firm, slender hand clamping down on your forearm sent you careening to a stop, and you heard a sharp intake of air sound from just behind you. For a moment, you stood there, motionless. You didn’t even know where you were going at first.

You just had to get away from it all.

From what he was insinuating,

And what his words were bringing up…

Hurts from the past,

Memories from the time when you had had such a big fight about your boyfriend Chris, that you had ended things with Felix permanently.

At least, you had thought that things were permanent.

Until Lee Felix showed up on the doorstep of Angel Waves two weeks before, all sun-kissed and bleach-blonde hair and muscular shoulders.

Everything hurt, and it had grown to be too much.

“Wait- Y/N. Please, just wait for a second.”

His voice came out in a wavering line, ghosting over your ears and forcing a violent shiver down your spine.

At that moment, you couldn’t even turn around to look at him. With your heart beating against your ribcage and your mind running a mile a minute, you could do nothing but stand there, arm still being held by one of his slender hands. The tears flowing down your cheeks left wet tracks in their wake. They clouded the corners of your vision, turning everything into a murky cobalt blue.

“You don’t have to say anything else, Felix,” you began, voice cracking under the pressure of it all, as you took in a shuddering breath and leveled your gaze onto the sidewalk ahead of you. Your parent’s house wasn’t too far away, which was always why you had frequented the ice cream shop as a kid. The walk wouldn’t be that bad. “I already know how you feel - about him, about me… about us. You already expressed your blatant disapproval when you left me in shambles years ago. I’m not expecting any better from you- I don’t need your approval of who I do and don’t date. So stay the fuck out of my life and my business and my relationship.”

The words were truly cruel and heartless.

That much, you knew.

And even though you had been seeing nothing but red earlier in the ice cream shop, now everything was turned to a dull, hollow ache.

You weren’t even that upset about Chris anymore.

You weren’t upset about his stupid display at the party, or even the fact that Felix had insinuated the relationship between your boyfriend and your best friend was anything more than cordial.

No, you were upset at Felix.

Right then, you wanted nothing more but to never see him again.

To never lay your eyes upon his shining, brilliant face,

Or hear his deep timbre voice,

Or remember all of the days you had spent together as kids - good and bad.

You wished you could go to sleep and wipe all memory of him.

Because maybe then, you wouldn’t feel so much agony.

It throbbed through you, shooting up the pit of your stomach, dancing in your veins, coursing across your eardrums, and pooling in your throat as a large lump and big, fat tears that didn’t stop.

Your legs were moving on their own accord, carrying you forward, toward’s your parent's house. Your arm still burned from where Felix had touched it - it felt seared from the sharp pull you took as you drew away from him.

And the worst part about it all?

Was that the entire time,

You wanted nothing more but for Felix to catch up to you,

To throw his arms around you and bury his delicate face in the crook between your shoulder and neck and sob his heart out as he told you how sorry he was.

But instead,

You were left with complete and utter silence.

No grabbing, no crying, no pleading.

And that’s what hurt the most.

To be continued...

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doodlesdreaming · 1 year ago

Note

Writing Idea: The other Horsemen learning Death lost a fiddling contest to some random human kid

(Anyone who has watched my darksiders streams will instantly get this joke. If not...well hope you enjoy anyway. XD)

There are a good handful of words that Strife would use to describe Death. 'Sarcastic', 'Cold', 'Jackass,' to name a few. 'Hoarder', on the other hand, not in a million years... until now,

"God damn...just how much stuff do you need!? Half of these is just junk."

The gunslinger tossed aside what looked to have been an angelic relic of some sort. But the piece was cracked nearly in two, rendering it useless. Grumbling, he continued to sort through a large, self made, pile of various gear and weaponry, much like his other siblings in several spots of Death's bone built abode. The sound of steel unsteathing from leather, turned his attention up to Fury admiring a katanta shaped sword.

"Not everything here is junk, Strife." Fury spoke with a smile curling on her lips. Her eyes, as bright as the rest of the Four, seem to gleam in the light of the blade in her hands, just as the hand of her eldest brother promptly snatched it from her grasp,

"None of it is junk." Death retorted, "And if you looked as fast as you move your mouth, Strife, we would be well on our way by now."

"It would REALLY help if you remembered where you put the damn thing to begin with!" Strife glared, temper ever so slightly beginning to boil.

"How did this mess even come to be anyhow?" War questioned as he joined the rest of his kin in the 'master bedroom' of the house, "Your home, empty as it is, is at most organized. But last I was here, there wasn't much to begin with."

"Vulgrim." Death explained, sighing in annoyance. "Apparently, after I was...indisposed, he dumped all my gear in my house. While keeping some of it to himself, as I've come to learn."

"Like Harvester..." War sneered, "I still wonder how he got his filthy hands on your scythe . Or what else he might be hiding in his void holes, like your golden fiddle, for instance. I do not see it among this horde."

"Woah woah woah, his what now?" Strife froze as he was setting aside a pair of boots to turn fully towards his little brother, "His...golden fiddle? You're joking, right? Death? With any sort of instrument?"

"I would not lie about this, brother." War told him, "I distinctly remember seeing a golden instrument hanging up on his wall when I was here during the Battle of the Abomination Vault. I meant to ask about it, Death, but I had forgotten about it after the fight. And now, it appears to be missing."

Death said nothing. He appeared frozen in place, bent over a set of gear. He slowly stood up, turning to face his siblings, with the most neutral face he could pull behind his bone mask, "I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about, War."

"I could've sworn..." War mused, beginning to wonder if maybe he had mis-remembered. It had been over several centuries ago.

"Did you so happen to lose it to some kid with musical talents that far surpassed your own?" Everyone glanced towards Fury, who leaned over a rather large set of armor, smirking up at her eldest like a cherisare cat,

"There so happens to be a popular tune the humans like to sing, of a devil who went to some place called Georgia, looking for souls when he came across a young fiddle player. The devil bet his golden fiddle that he could play better and lost." Fury curled her hands under her chin, smiling oh so sweet and innocent like, "Could perhaps that devil be you?"

The silence that filled the room was nearly deafening. War and Strife looked to Death to see what he would say, only to see the Pale Rider slowly cross his arms and turn to look away from his siblings' stares.

"That brat swore he wouldn't tell a soul..."

War and Fury fought to keep rising snickers in check, but Strife did not even try. He roared into infectious laughter that broke the other two. Growling,Death tossed a leather worn boot at Strife’s head. The White Rider promptly ducked and scrambled to flee as Death gave chase.

#darksiders #darksiders death #darksiders strife #darksiders fury #darksiders war #four horsemen of the apocalypse #dorks of the apocalypse #fanfiction #writing prompt #headcanons #video games #thanks for the ask!

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vickyvicarious · 1 year ago

Note

I didn't want to clog up your post about being barefooted but it reminded me that now following Dracula Daily after having read the book many years ago, I have been clocking similarities+parallels between Jonathan and Lucy in several things such as vulnerable youth, condemned while betrothed, restless dreams, performativity, secrets, stolen innocence. I've seen -not on tumblr, other places- comparisons between the two girls, but honestly it looks like there's interesting comparative readings between the first two main victims to be had so I'm looking forward to re-reading Lucy's arc semi-blind after Jonathan's.

Yes! I completely agree, Lucy and Jonathan have a lot of super interesting parallels. I won't talk about it too much here - both because you're looking forward to going in semi-blind and because I also want to do a closer reading as we go along to see what I catch - but there have already been some really cool echoes/mirrors between them. Specific stuff like:

Jonathan's mirror getting broken/Lucy musing about looking into her mirror

The three vampire women attacking Jonathan/the three suitors proposing to Lucy

Dracula touching Jonathan without consent/the suitors taking Lucy's hands in a reassuring expression of friendship

Dracula deciding Jonathan's fate by giving him that deadline/Lucy choosing her own by picking Arthur

(There's specific posts in my "lucy westenra" tag talking about all of those, often in greater detail from people who noticed them first and elaborated really well, but I digress.)

And of course that is just so far and in addition to bigger themes and roles like the ones you've mentioned. The one I have been especially interested in watching is the (in)ability to speak freely and how that manifests in each of them when under Dracula's influence (a BIG thing with Lucy; for Jonathan, there are two different answers during and after the castle, both of which compare to Lucy in very interesting ways).

The performative one is super cool because I haven't thought about it in that specific way before but you're so right. Jonathan and Lucy both put on a really good act and try to hide their true feelings, but the circumstances and ways in which they do so is at the same time quite different and bearing some major similarities. I may have to think/talk more about that in the future once we get to a certain letter from Lucy.

I also love the mention of condemned while betrothed together with that stolen innocence and vulnerable youth, because they both have this big cocktail of that mixed together when they're attacked. Both of them are leaving one stage of life behind them (clerk, teen girl living with her mother) and have just embarked upon a new one (solicitor, engaged to be married - that one both but marriage is also equivalent to Lucy's career in a way) when they meet Dracula. But neither are settled into it yet. This is Jonathan's first big job and he's away from home, Arthur isn't there with Lucy and she's still preparing for the wedding. Both times, Dracula comes along right on that cusp of the life they've chosen and are looking forward to, and he tries to take it all away from them.

I'm starting to get more spoilery/talk about stuff I want to when it's fresher so I'll stop here for now but I am absolutely with you on finding a lot of interesting comparative readings to be had with these two specifically, and I too will be looking for/enjoying them as we go along!

#anonymous #replies #dracula daily #dracula daily spoilers #nothing too specific if you know the plot but i couldn't keep them out entirely #lucy westenra #jonathan harker

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 2 years ago

Text

Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 8

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: none actually this is pretty cute they just go on a date lol

Genre: Pretty much ALL fluff, it's cute

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

You watch curiously as Wanda shuffles through one of the boxes sitting around the guest room in her apartment. Even though you've been here a few weeks you're avoiding fully unpacking your things since you snuck them out of your and Bruce's previously shared apartment.

"You should really unpack this stuff like how do you find anything if it's all in boxes?" Wanda huffs.

"All the important stuff is unpacked. I didn't really expect to be going on dates. I mean at this point it's a good thing I even managed to go back to the apartment and get the rest of my life from my old place." You shrug. "I dunno if I should bother because like- it's not at if I'm moving in permanently."

"You could! I mean I have the extra bedroom, it's yours if you want it, you're already here. Why not?"

"We'll- talk about it later."

"OH! Where's the dress they bought you?! It's not like you could wear it with Bruce I'm sure. You could break it in now!" She says.

"It's in the other box." You point to where the dress should be and Wanda quickly pulls it out. The dress is a red floor-length off-shoulder number that looks as good now as it did when you saw it in the store. "I can't believe they bought me a dress because they liked my voice." You shake your head.

"I mean the dress is gorgeous. Put it on we have less than an hour before they're meant to arrive and you still have to decide on makeup and shoes and accessories." Wanda hands you the dress and you laugh at her frantic list as you take off your tank top and shorts to put on the dress.

"I need a different bra." You mutter.

"Do you have strapless bras?" She asks.

"Yeah I've got one- I actually hate it but I do have one." You say. You shuffle through a box until you find the bra and switch out your loungewear bra for the strapless. You shimmy on the dress and turn for Wanda to look at it. "Well? What do you think?"

"You know, exactly what looks good on you." She says with a nod.

"Lucky me since I didn't try it on before Bucky and Steve decided to purchase it." You muse.

"Okay, makeup. Do you wanna keep it simple and dramatize with accessories or go with dramatic makeup and keep the accessories simple?"

"I dunno I really like dramatic makeup." You hum throwing a t-shirt over the dress to do your makeup.

"So do dramatic makeup. We can give you a cute pair of earrings and one of those dainty necklaces of yours." She shrugs.

"The sun."

"What?"

"They gave me a sun necklace. Would it be too much to wear that and the dress they gave me? Too definitive on where we stand even though I have no idea how I feel about them?"

"Well it's gold, you'd have to match it with- wait what bag are you carrying?"

"I was gonna go with a black clutch."

"Is it black and gold or black and silver?"

"I have both."

"Well you have to go with the gold one."

"Okay." You laugh.

"Shoes? What shoes?"

"You can pick." You tell her.

"Are all your shoes in the closet?"

"Yes, those I unpacked." You tell her.

"Black heels. That way something in your outfit matches your bag." Wanda holds the shoes in question up. This particular pair of heels has gold detailing on the stiletto, a gift from your mother a couple of years ago.

"Perfect." You tell her. You finish your makeup and slide the shoes on. Your final makeup look is gold eyes and a red lip that matches your dress. You complete your look with the sun necklace and a pair of simple gold hoops.

"You look amazing!" Wanda gushes when you look over at her for a final assessment.

"Well, that's good since it's five after. They should be downstairs already." You say loading your clutch.

"I'll go down with you so I can let them know that if they mess this up I'll have their heads." Wanda says following you out of your room.

"These are mobsters Wanda please remember that before you threaten them."

"What they are is men taking my best friend out. Mobster or not I expect them to treat you perfectly and they should know there will be consequences if they don't."

"Do you intend to tell them you're a witch?" You ask her.

"Absolutely not. Then I lose the mystery factor that makes my threats that much scarier." She shakes her head and you laugh. When you exit the apartment building a man exits the vehicle parked right at the front and walks over to you.

"Miss y/n. Miss Wanda."

"Do we know you?" Wanda quirks an eyebrow at him.

"I'm Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes' driver. They're waiting in the car." The man explains leading you both over and opening the door. Steve gets out of the car to allow you to slide in between him and Bucky.

"Y/n, you look gorgeous." Steve kisses your hand and helps you into the car. Well, it's actually a truck, with tinted windows and spacious seats even with three of you in the back.

"Thank you Steve, hello Bucky." You say. When Steve settles back into his seat, Wanda sticks her head into the car before the driver can close the door.

"Gentlemen. Hello." Wanda smiles and you roll your eyes at her.

"Hello Wanda." They say in unison.

"I just want to make sure they we're all on the same page here. If y/n comes home with anything negative to say about this evening I will put you both in so much pain you won't even be able to scream. Are we clear?"

"We have no intention of seeing anything but happiness on y/n's face tonight Wanda, don't worry." Steve says kindly.

"Good. I will be holding you to that. Y/n, have a good night okay?"

"Thank you Wanda. I'll see you when I get back." You say. The driver waits for her to back up and then shuts the door before getting into the car.

"You look amazing y/n." Bucky says.

"Thank you Bucky." You nod. "Where are we going tonight?" You look between the two men.

"If it's okay with you we'd like to keep it a surprise." Steve says.

"Alright sure. I did give you permission to pick the place." You nod. You watch the streets of New York go by as you're driven through the city until eventually the car stops and the door is opened for you. Steve exits and holds a hand out to you to help you down from the car and then Bucky climbs out after you. Steve keeps his hand in yours and Bucky places one of his at the small of your back as the three of you enter one of the fanciest restaurants you've ever seen. Steve talks to the maitre d but you don't hear what he says, you're too busy looking around at the ornate interior of the place. Everyone in here is dressed to the nines, and despite knowing your outfit matches the environment, part of you feels out of place with the clientele of this place. You're all led to your table in a more secluded area of the restaurant. "This place is- very fancy." You say once you're seated and left alone by the maitre d.

"Are you uncomfortable? We can leave if you'd like." Bucky's voice is soft as he makes the offer.

"No, I'm fine. It was just an observation. I'll admit this isn't my usual scene but I am okay here. Thank you for checking though." You say.

"So this is one of those places that has a set menu, and they just bring out the courses for you once you've sat down. We thought it'd be simpler this way." Steve says.

"Oh okay. That's cool." You say. Just then a waiter brings your first course, a seafood tartlet.

"How have you been handling the new information y/n?" Steve asks.

"Which piece of new information are you referring to? Being a werewolf, my boyfriend lying to me for at least a year, you two being total stalkers, or the fact that your infatuation with me is totally out of your control?" You ask.

"All of it really. Whichever you want to talk about." Steve shrugs.

"Well, the werewolf thing is- somehow the least shocking bit of all of this honestly. That was pretty easy to accept, it didn't inherently change much for me, plus my mom has been pretty open to talking about it all so I at least have help navigating it."

"And- things with the hunter?" Bucky asks.

"I've moved all my stuff out of the apartment so as far as I'm concerned I'm done with him." You say.

"Can I ask what happened? How you, found out that we were right?" Steve asks. Your first course plates are then replaced with the entree which you miss the name of when it's brought but you enjoy the dish anyway.

"I called my mom about the werewolf thing and when I brought that up to him I just asked him if he knew and I could tell he was lying when he said no." You shrug. "It turned into a big dramatic blowout but the details aren't important really. He lied so I left. That's the moral of the story."

"I'm sorry. That kind of betrayal can't be easy to deal with, and if you ever want to talk about it more we can lend an ear." Steve says.

"It is what it is, you live and you learn." You say.

"Just say the word and you'll never have to see him again." Bucky says.

"Hm that- sounds like a threat on his life." You muse and Bucky simply shrugs. "Is that just how it goes with mobsters?"

"When necessary." He says casually.

"Interesting. I have an unrelated question though, that I've been wondering about all week."

"What's that?" Steve asks.

"If this... werewolf infatuation with me, however it all works, is affecting both of you... am I expected to make a choice at some point here? Between the two of you, I mean."

"No. You don't have to." Bucky says.

"I don't have to? You'd be able to handle that kind of dynamic? Where I just, date both of you indefinitely or, permanently? Because if you're gonna like kill each other over this I don't want anything to do with either of you. I have no interest in being the subject of some sort of contest."

"We've done it before." Steve says.

"Oh so this is just normally how you date?" You ask.

"Well- it's not exactly our default no but, this isn't our first rodeo either." He chuckles.

"You don't think it'll cause problems? Not having me to yourself?" You ask curiously.

"Not at all." Steve says and you turn to Bucky who hums his agreement.

"We told you before, we share most things." Bucky says.

"Okay. Well as long as that's the truth, moving on. I know what you do for work, theoretically, so what do you do for fun?" You ask.

"Theoretically?" Steve quirks an eyebrow at you.

"I mean I've got an idea of what the whole mobster thing could entail yeah but it's not like you're gonna give me the details, are you?" You shrug.

"Do you want details?" He asks.

"We'll tell you anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Anything? Really? You don't think I'm too innocent to know the inner workings of your crime empire?" Your question is kind of sarcastic but you are curious if they'd seriously tell you about it.

"As much as we want to protect you, we also know that if we want you to be part of our world you need to be prepared for what's in it." Steve says.

"If you choose us we want you as our equal y/n, in all things. Even our business." Bucky says placing a hand over yours.

"So- like I could be part of decision-making?" You ask, mostly to gauge how far this equal partner thing goes. Bucky and Steve glance at each other with a look you can't really interpret.

"If you want to be." Steve nods.

"It's that simple?" You ask skeptically.

"When it comes to you, things will always be as simple as if you want it, it's yours. We'll give you anything you ask of us. Always." Bucky says.

"You two are dangerously charming. Saying all the right things." You hum.

"We'll never make a promise we don't intend to keep." Steve says.

"That's easy to say now." You scoff.

"We know that hunter betrayed your trust in him, so we'll do whatever we need to, to gain your trust and we will treat it with the respect it deserves. The respect you deserve." Bucky says.

"I take it trust is very important to you? Especially with the kind of work you do." You say.

"Precisely." He nods.

"That's good to know." You hum. "So, hobbies. Do you have any or does work take up all your time?"

"We have a few hobbies. I like woodworking." Steve says.

"I like drawing and reading." Bucky says.

"We both do hunting." Steve offers.

"Like with guns or as wolves? Also is it just for sport or do you eat what you kill?"

"Why would we hunt with guns?" Bucky scoffs.

"I mean humans hunt for sport and obviously they use guns and since- I don't think we have the same dietary restrictions as like vampires I imagine there's nothing stopping you from just shooting things for fun because you can." You shrug and Steve chuckles. Your entree plates are then swapped out for a dessert, a layered slice of cake.

"We hunt as wolves. Usually, just things we can eat." Steve says.

"It's not really valuable to kill just for killing sake. We aren't monsters." Bucky offers.

"Monsters no but mobsters yes." You say and Bucky smirks.

"Hunting isn't work, it's a hobby." Steve says.

"Okay, hunting, woodworking, drawing, and reading. Anything else?"

"We- dedicate a lot of time to work. So, not really no." He shrugs.

"How do you intend to have a relationship if you're both basically married to your work?" You ask.

"We aren't married to it. We don't have much else to pour energy into yet so we dedicate our time to work but it's not the kind of thing that would take over our lives if you were in it." Steve shakes his head.

"How do you know?" You ask.

"The job hasn't always been our life." Steve says.

"And we have capable people working for us. We feel confident stepping away when we want to. There just hasn't been much worth pulling us away." Bucky says.

"Don't read into this question, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so I make an informed decision at the end of tonight. Do you realistically believe I'd be worth pulling you away from work?"

"We already know so." Steve says immediately. Bucky pulls out a phone from his pocket and places it on the table.

"This phone only calls your security detail. They are the only ones with the number." Bucky says.

"Sorry, are you still having me followed?!" You blink at him. Your gaze snaps between the two men. "I want an answer and it better be the truth." You say when neither of them speaks.

"We don't trust your ex." Steve says.

"That is not the question I asked you." You frown.

"Not... fully." Bucky says.

"Not fully?"

"They aren't following you like before they just check in." Bucky says.

"I don't need your men to check in on me. That's ridiculous. You make it sound like I'm in danger." You say.

"We won't call them off. I know you don't like them but we have to take precautions especially because you've been seen with us. We- have enemies and we will not leave you vulnerable to them." Steve says firmly.

"I don't like this. But I also don't like being an exposed target so- I'll yield." You say crossing your arms.

"Thank you." He says quietly.

"I have one last question, and then we can call it a night." You say.

"Anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Since you guys have been like- basically stalking me for a few months is there anything you don't know about me? I feel like I'm at quite the disadvantage here."

"We didn't do a deep dive into your personality or anything. We really just know general things, your job, your old address, age, birthday, and some things we could observe like that you'd rather walk than take a cab and you'll sooner call someone than send a text, and at work when the store's empty and you're reading at the counter your face gives away all of your thoughts when you're enraptured." Bucky says.

"Woah." You mutter.

"We don't know much, not anything that anyone who worked with you wouldn't be able to find out but you learn a lot from observation." Steve says.

"Clearly."

"Any last questions y/n?" Bucky asks.

"What do you want out of this? Out of me?"

"We want to make you happy. Whatever that means." Steve says.

"No, I want you to be selfish with your answer, not diplomatic. What do you want out of this? What is the ideal outcome in your minds? If you two were writing this story, how would it end?" You ask. There's a pregnant pause as you're sure Steve considers another careful answer.

"We'd marry you. Devote our entire lives to you and in turn, you'd do the same. You'd come into our world, learn every bit of information and run it all with us. You'd walk into every room with us on either side of you. You could say jump and everyone under us would ask how high. In my version of the story, we make you a queen, adored by all. It doesn't all have to be tomorrow but that is how it ends." Bucky says. Steve sighs at the end of Bucky's answer. You're quiet for a long moment as you consider his words. It's dramatic and intense and realistically it should scare you because from anyone else it would come off as psychotic.

"Is it always like this with you two?" You ask after a while.

"What?" Steve asks.

"Steve you're more calculated with your words, everything you say is meticulous, thought out. While Bucky, you seem to be a little more impulsive. If you open your mouth you will say exactly what it is you're thinking, it's why you don't talk as much as Steve, right? You're more likely to say something reckless and Steve stresses when he thinks your words might cause trouble. The if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all rule." You explain. Steve and Bucky blink at you with clear shock on their faces. "You two aren't the only ones with observational skills." You say proudly.

"That is impressive." Steve muses.

"If she chooses never to see us again after this Steve I will never date another person. I simply can't imagine settling for less, because anyone else would be less." Bucky says to Steve which makes him chuckle and you giggle.

"To answer your question, yes that is usually how things are." Steve says.

"So what happens now?" Bucky asks.

"Now, I'd like you to take me home." You say standing up. Steve and Bucky follow your lead. Steve tosses bills on the table as Bucky walks you towards the door with his hand at your back. By the time you step outside the car you came in is waiting at the curb and the driver is standing by the door. Bucky helps you into the car before getting in behind you, while Steve pulls the door on the other side open and slides in, sandwiching you between them. The drive back to Wanda's is pretty much quiet, only once the car stops in front of her building and the driver gets out does one of them speak.

"Will we see you again?" Steve asks. The driver opens Bucky's side of the car and he steps out to help you out of the car.

"I only promised you one date." You say. "But, if you leave me with the best way to contact you, we'll see." You take Bucky's hand and climb down from the car.

"Your phone." Bucky says. You unlock the device and hand it to him. He inputs his number and then Steve's and gives it back to you.

"Goodnight boys. Tonight was nice." You say.

"Goodnight y/n." Steve says.

"Goodnight." Bucky nods getting back into the car. They watch you walk into the building and don't pull off until you're in the elevator. When you enter the apartment, quietly in case Wanda is asleep, you kick off your heels and let out a sigh.

"How was it? Tell me everything!" Wanda comes rushing down the hall and nearly gives you a heart attack.

"Fucking hell were you just waiting for the door to open?" You ask her clutching your chest.

"Obviously. You went on a date with two super hot werewolf crime lords I won't be able to do anything until you tell me about it!" She says pulling you to the couch excitedly.

"It was great Wanda. They're a little intense honestly, but they were perfect gentlemen and answered all my questions even though I basically spent the night interrogating them. I think I like them." You bite your lip shyly.

"Where did you go?"

"Dinner at some really fancy place. One of those restaurants with a set menu where each course is predetermined and it probably costs like a hundred dollars per person."

"Impressive." She nods.

"Everything with them is. They are-"

"Don't say too good to be true." Wanda points at you.

"I was going to say a surprise actually but too good to be true might be the reality. They talk about me being their equal in all things, like their business, and about making me queen of their empire and devoting themselves to me. It's a little love bomb-y."

"It's only love bomb-y if they can't keep the same energy. Some people just love that intensely and I'd say the fact that they've spent months adoring you without really any promise of reciprocation suggests that's just how they are. Plus werewolves are dedicated partners by nature, I mean it makes sense. Sure it's intense for someone that didn't know they were a werewolf a month ago and it's okay to be cautious, especially after Bruce, but I already told you they're not ill-intentioned." She shrugs.

"All very true things."

"So you'll see them again?"

"I'd like to." You nod.

"Oooo I'm so happy for you!" She squeals jumping up.

"Wanda calm down." You laugh but nothing could possibly chill her out now. Things are changing for the better quickly and Wanda has always been the biggest advocate for whatever makes you the happiest.

***

Part 8/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17

#marvel fanfiction #marvel #stucky fanfic #stucky x reader #stucky fluff #stucky smut #stucky #stucky angst #werewolf bucky barnes #werewolf steve rogers #werewolf au #Just Let Me Adore You #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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littlehoundthings · 1 month ago

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Tagged by: @redemptior

Name / Penname: Jay (name AND pen name) for veterans, did you go by something previously ?name &/or penname: I think for as long as I've been in DARP, I've always been Jay? I've gone by Drake in the past as well. My blog started out as AsherielAmell, then became AnimaXSalutator. age & gender( if comfortable sharing ): 33, Nonbiney what was your first dragon age muse: Ashe, funnily enough. Back in like... early 2010s I think? do you have any other darp muses / blogs: Nope! I'm allergic to writing canon characters. thedas has two moons: Why stop at two?

single line, para, or novella: I prefer doing para tbh. I'm not quite sure on the definition, but I think I do some novella stuff here and there depending on the scene. plotting or winging it: Winging it is fun! I enjoy plotting for setting up the scene and then letting things go from there. fighting threads, you bold enough for them? Hand me the violence. what content warnings are on your blog?: You can see them all on my Carrd, but generally basic stuff related to Dragon Age (horror, blood, gore, etc). I'll generally tag if anything is blatant. what things do you need tagged for your comfort?: I haven't run across anything I need tagged really.

shipping preferences: single | multi | no ship | polyship . I'm a poly hoe IRL, and that translates to my writing. I'm comfortable keeping each ship to their own verse if that's the writer's comfort level, but also <motions to existence> shipping boundaries: As long as there's chemistry and prior interaction I'm generally happy with it. The one thing I will not do/accept is shipping right off the bat, especially if I don't know you as a writer. favorite ships in dragon age: Amell/Morrigan, Cousland/Lelianna, Hawke/Isabela, Howe/Sword to the face, Dorian/The Iron Bull, Inquisitor / Iron Bull, Inquisitor / Dorian, Rook / Emmrich, Rook / Davrin, Taash / Harding, Chantry / Exploding.

fun facts about yourself that may have changed since in the past ten years( when inquisition dropped )--

Hospitalized for mental health, diagnosed with autism, back to college for IT certificates, engaged to my two wonderful partners, went NC with bio-family, moved into an apartment with sibling + partners.

be honest, did you miss darp. come on now--

Why do you think I came back. 8)

challenge round! put a small top five things unrelated to dragon age !

Top five favorite games in no order

Rimworld

Metaphor: Refantazio

Stardew Valley

Sims 4

Warframe

tagging: @avrorean, @theshirallen, Only if you two haven't done it yet.

#About the writer!

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ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian · 10 months ago

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Hello there!

a little "about me" post

my art

♡ My AO3 ♡ My Ko-fi ♡ My Cara ♡ My Pillowfort ♡ My Wattpad ♡

I'm a very long-winded person and when I like doing something, I like doing A LOT of it. I have a lot of fandoms, I like pretty art and cats, I write and muse about stuff - it's all a huge mess if I put it in one place. So that's why I decided to split my obsessions into several neat piles, so people could have an easier time deciding whether to follow, ignore or block my stuff according to their preferences.

Order an OC commission on my Ko-fi ♡

Here are my blogs which you're free to explore and follow as you like:

» ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian

The main blog where I shout into nothingness. But where I also post lots of Star Trek, mainly about Cardassians (bc I love them). I do not do Garashir, tho, look for that particular bit elsewhere (not bc I don't ship them, but bc I'm severely overfed to the point of having an allergic rection). My focus Cardassian is Damar, followed by Dukat. I'm super open to reblogging your OCs, though. My other favorite fandoms you might come across on this blog (which I don't post enough about to make a separate blog): Mass Effect, Discworld, Tolkien, Detroit: Become Human, Apex Legends, Marvel/DC, Hunger Games. I also ramble, post about writing in general, reblog some fitting memes and pets/animals, share my own photography, reblog art etc.

» pixie-in-a-moonlantern

The initiated already know: Baldur's Gate 3 brainrot blog. I post my OC screenshots, my own and reblogged fanfiction, reblog A LOT of blorbos (Halsin, Gortash, Raphael,..), whether it's art or headcanons. I do not have any VP tools, so my screens are only lightly edited to be prettier, and that's it. I prefer to avoid posting negative stuff, so it's just batshit obsession and thoughts.

» shaved-wampa

Diehard fans surely got the joke: Star Wars brainrot, and that goes for every conceivable piece of the fandom, even the bits you might not agree with - I don't discriminate. My all-time favorites are: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bode Akuna. Yes, just the two, because I also have a huge pile of characters I love, but don't really focus on: Padmé, Ahsoka, Ventress, Plo Koon, Kit Fisto, Din Djarin, lil Grogu, Cody, infinite number of other Clones, ... soooo many. My top two are just the guys I actually write about. Bode's and Obi-Wan's fics are unfortunately on hold right now (sigh).

» cyber-vianne-77

As the name suggests, this is my Cyberpunk 2077 blog. I used to do a lot of virtual photography in that one - and yes, this time I mean real VP, though still no paid tools, just vanilla and free mods. I love Goro Takemura and ship my fem V with him heavily - wrote a dope fanfiction about them called 'Broken' (and following parts 'Gimme Danger' and 'Last Caress'). I reblog other cp77 vp (especially of Goro) and fanart. I don't currently play the game or shoot photos, but I have a large collection I plan to drizzle over the next few months, until I maybe decide to go back to cp77 for a while again and finally play Phantom Liberty that's been waiting for me for a long time now xD.

» sergeant-sassy

A mix of obsessions with one man in common: John Hopkins, a British actor :). Seen in Midsomer Murders and lately heard in various games as a voice actor. I've fallen for him for the first time 20 years ago - and he returned to me as Erend in Horizon games (Zero Dawn & Forbidden West). I love the games and its characters and take a lot of screenshots, too :). So it's a weird dump of Ereloy, Kotaloy (because Noshir) and Midsomer Murders :3

» goodness-all-around

My "assorted dopeness" reblogs. It's getting 0 attention so I just usually post shit to cardassian or to my private collection to avoid overflowing my main.

I will update the list if I happen to change things or add/remove blogs. Thanks for your attention and see you in the activity notifs! 💛

Bits of trivia: I'm Czech, cis woman (bi & poly and, frankly, hyper), 32, in a relationship, mom to a 5yo boy, a writer struggling to finish and publish her first original novel, drowning her sorrows in fanfic instead :). I got to most of my fandoms quite late in life, because where I live this info only started to properly flow in with the coming of the internet. I'm usually a casual fan, though when I hit a gold vein I can get a bit obsessed. I love writing fanfiction, which is mostly why I'm here on this site. I self-insert a lot (therapy writing) and usually ship us, with the rare occasion of finding a couple where I can identify with one of them (or mold them to my image because I like or even fancy them). I've spent my life believing I was hetero and discovered I'm not only once I (finally) was in a hetero relationship and had a kid, so... my ships are also hetero. It's a habit, not hating, I don't discredit any gay ships (maybe quietly to myself when they don't make any sense to me character-wise, lol). My AO3 account: XindiChick I usually try to write even the most niche of my ships in a way that doesn't require much knowledge of the original, so you're welcome to browse and read to your heart's content if you happen to like my style. I welcome any interactions, especially comments, because I don't get many.

I think it's something everyone should always be aware of, but I've also seen many people ignoring this unsaid rule:

HATERS NEED NOT INTERACT

- lest they get blocked. I'm not here to argue with you about why I like certain characters and why you think I shouldn't. Go simp for your own top picks on your own blogs and leave me alone. Same goes for any of my personal trivia I shared.

Also:

DISCLAIMER: My blogs are a safe space for everyone who doesn't go around hating on everyone else. I will block indiscriminantly assholes of every shape, color, faith, gender, orientation etc., just as I will happily interact with good people of any kind. Idc what your deal is, I just wanna enjoy being on this platform, so if you plan to rain on it, don't expect me to indulge you.

Icons by: @rpschtuff

By the way, a fun fact known only to people aware of my main fanfic novel, The Casualty, the Cardassian in my username was actually born Bajoran, but raised Cardassian, which is why she's a Cardassian in heart and spirit. She's your friendly reminder that not all Cardies are the same and as a nation have the capacity to be much better than how they were presented in the DS9, which is what she's trying to achieve.

#ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian blog masterlist

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