#I've been making this list of sometime now... and the descriptions on many of them might not be accurate

[jackyjango]

Cherik LJ recs

I realised that I forgot to post my stash of cherik LJ recs. So here they are:

Fics recced by @gerec and @eugeline earlier can be found here

I've been reading and adding these fics to my list since before the dawn of time. So the descriptions on many of the fics are somewhat wonky. Plus, you know how the kink meme works on LJ *shrugs*. So read them at your own risk.

I'll start with one of my favourites:

Desperate Measures https://temperance-k.livejournal.com/37682.html The inhabitants of Charles' estate (Charles, his conniving younger sister Raven, his adorable but mischievous adopted children, and their live-in handyman Erik) have been growing restless. To keep the children (who range in age from kindergarten to fifth or sixth grade) from destroying everything in sight, Charles comes up with a scavenger hunt of sorts. The objective? To find his "heart" (which is actually a heart-shaped photo of everyone)

1. Shelter https://niched.livejournal.com/1456.html ���Prompt: In his attempts to help Erik let go of his anger Charles manages to break/unlock something in him and Erik takes it out on him in bed, taking him extremely roughly Erik is too rough, and Charles is too tender. They almost get it right. But the realms of each other's bodies are foreign, incomprehensibly difficult to conquer

2. Mehrdeutiges Lächeln https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html?thread=5842242#t5842242 Erik's smile frightens the children but Charles loves it

3. Silent Music a. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6527.html?thread=10707327#t10707327 b. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6527.html?thread=10707583#t10707583  domestic!Cherik dancing in the kitchen

4. photography http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/3115.html?thread=3334699#t3334699 photography in bed

5. Five Packages Charles Xavier Did Not Order [and one he did] https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=4030196#t4030196 It all started, Charles thought to himself sometimes, with that damned catalogue. It arrived with the day's mail addressed to one "Anon Y. Mouse", which was such an obvious pseudonym his immediate reaction was to wonder which of the students had sent for it. After deciding that there were some things he was better off not knowing, he hastily did a mental sweep of the house to make sure there was no one heading his way and slowly began to flip through the pages.

6. Night Time Friends https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=4288294#t4288294 Erik helping Charles through his headaches

7. Cheers https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/2532.html Charles is drunk. Slightly less drunk Erik finds it oddly endearing

8. (we're) a beautiful mess https://dastardlywords.livejournal.com/925.html The longing Erik can feel coming of Charles in waves now is not charity nor friendship nor some misguided attempt to con Erik out of his ideals: it feels selfish and human and so clearly irrational that it can’t be mistaken for anything but stupid, helpless love.

9. shake it baby now (let me know you're mine) https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/3115.html?thread=4509995#t4509995 Charles makes Erik listen to pop music (especially 'Wild Thing' or 'The Twist'), and Erik is like "how is this even music, etc etc etc" but he secretly really likes it, especially when Charles tries to teach him to do the twist.

10. The Methods (are always the same) https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=384038#t384038 Charles is taken in by the government (who managed to block his abilities). He's brutally interrogated, tortured and raped until he finally breaks. Erik finds out and he's on the warpath, saving Charles and taking him to his lair to nurse him back to help and put the pieces back together.

11. Surprise! https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html?thread=6809666#t6809666 They are halfway to the bed/or any available surface, tugging at each others' clothes before they noticed the kids were in the room, hosting a surprise party for them. So much for being discreet.

12. Hush-a-bye https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6084.html?thread=8283332#t8283332 One of the guys is shirtless and holding a baby? And the other is all, 'that is both dawww and hot'?

13. Not Wrecked with the Day's Work https://saavikam77.livejournal.com/324815.html Charles falls asleep on Erik while they're waiting for a bus on their mutant-recruiting road trip

14. The One About The Turtleneck a. https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/2910.html b. https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/3149.html c. https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/3335.html d. https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/3689.html e. https://zamwessell.livejournal.com/3892.html Charles borrows one of Erik's turtlenecks. Things quickly get out of hand

15. Be Not Ashamed https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6527.html?thread=9819775#t9819775 Charles and Erik inadvertently.... ok probably during sex or snuggles... figure out that one of them (you pick which one, I'm not too choosy!) finds suckling the other's nipples is comforting and arousing. So they fall into a routine where (dry or wet, doesn't matter to me) nursing becomes their go to for foreplay and for soothing away fear/stress/ upset/angry feelings. But I want it to be a special thing just between them, so obviously not something the children know about; and for them to remain adults throughout (i.e. different from "adult baby")

16. Blue Sniffles https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6527.html?thread=10166911#t10166911 Charles sneezing a lot? And Erik's just like "Are you all right?" and all bemused by it.

17. dirty morning sex https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/6527.html?thread=11974271#t11974271 18. Vanilla https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7315.html?thread=11897491#t11897491 Still sexy and affectionate but Erik's still got his business socks on and Charles is maybe thinking about what's for breakfast and they're both so comfortable with each other that they don't really mind when someone yawns in the middle or if someone gets called on for bad morning breath? 19. Charles yelling at Erik https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7315.html?thread=14084755#t14084755

20. Charles is protective of Erik https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7315.html?thread=14201491#t14201491

21. it's a disaster (but that's all right) https://freezer-penguin.livejournal.com/8256.html domestic cookery failure

22. Magneto analysing sleepy!Charles a. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=15216465#t15216465%2F b. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=15213393#t15213393%2F

23. Erik likes to make Charles squeal https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=15539281#t15539281 Charles is naturally a very talkative person, and that dribbles over into the bed scene a bit; he whimpers, mewls, moans and groans, laughs, and makes every little sound in between. But what Erik loves the most is when he draws out Charles' undeniably, absolutely girly squeal, because he knows Charles finds it utterly embarrassing

24. Just a Star in Your Sky https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=14945361#t14945361 Charles may have felt more for Erik than Erik did for him

25. Fast as I can https://neriwind.livejournal.com/546.html#cutid1 Erik can't say: I love you

26. Razor Sharp https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=15779921#t15779921 Erik boxing with bloody knuckles. h/c

27. Childish Things https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=14844497#t14844497 Charles is extremely ticklish. This gives Erik ideas

28. this constant state of war https://pidgeoned.livejournal.com/11844.html#cutid1 Charles and Erik are the Odd Couple. Quasi-cracky, teeth rottingly fluffy

29. My Arms Will Hold You https://koala-ecrit.livejournal.com/26907.html Charles brings three young recruits to the mansion: Ororo, Scott, and Jean. Much to Erik's dismay and annoyance, the children - especially Ororo - take up all of Charles' time. Erik realizes, however, that he and Ororo may have more in common than what first meets the eye, and that he has hidden parenting skills that he never knew about

30. A little soft https://themadwritings.livejournal.com/44817.html Erik likes sleeping on Charles' pudgy stomach

31. Try, Try Again https://and-backagain.livejournal.com/6669.html Except that this has happened before, he thinks with a start, and something in his throat closes up as he revolves on the spot, already knowing what he's going to see. Charles' back is arching as he falls, his eyes wide, and the crumpled bullet falls to the sand beside him like a calling card. X-Men: First Class Groundhog Day!AU

32. mutant school AU https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=100390#t100390 Future AU in which Erik stays with Charles and helps him establish his school/teach new mutants.

33. I CAN NEVER TELL https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=23078#t23078 Charles still gets shot and is crying in Erik's arms- but instead of leaving, Erik realizes that being vengeful will only ever hurt the man he loves. So he stays with Charles and confesses his ~feelings~ and kisses him and takes care of him as he gets better and they're beautiful and in love.

34. Belonging a. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=258342 b. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=258598 Charles and the Children celebrate Erik's birthday

35. Response https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=560166#t560166 Charles and Erik have to attend a black tie event (to spy on an evil dude, maybe) together. Before they leave, the others mention to Charles that Erik looks dapper as fuck, and Charles is all "mhmm didn't really notice," and the others are like, "uh-huh denial is not just a river in egypt" and he's all like "wut." But Erik's tux is tailored to his body, and throughout the night, Charles is unable to resist stealing glances. Maybe they end up having sex? Maybe they end up making out in the backseat of the car like teenagers on prom night?

36. Held Taut https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=615206#t615206 Erik is bleeding out fast, but help is on the way. he just needs to stay conscious, which is getting increasingly difficult. It feels like he hasn't slept in years, if only he could close his eyes for just a few moments...luckily Charles is there with his telepathy to help him out.

37. Technicolor a. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=2301222#t2301222 b. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=2302246#t2302246 c. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=2302502#t2302502 Charles don't know the meaning of 'excess'

38. Lemon Twist https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/806.html?thread=386598#t386598 Charles is the one with the nightmares, and Erik has to bring him out and comfort him. Maybe when he sleeps, Charles can tap into random minds. Or maybe he just remembers people he's touched.

39. Molten https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=3559156#t3559156 Metal Sex Toys

40. Scarred a. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1129972#t1129972 b. https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1133044#t1133044 Charles wonders about Erik's scars

41. coming back for even more of exactly the same https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1115380#t1115380 Chess turns into something more

42. wait to watch the fire https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1315060#t1315060 something tear-inducing and horribly tragic. Maybe they only realise their feelings for each other just before Erik's changing of sides?

43. Five Times Charles Taught the Younger Mutants An Important Lesson/One Time They Taught Him One https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1207796#t1207796

44. Overload https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=2603252#t2603252 Sex and Telepathy

45. Language Kink https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=2515700#t2515700 Charles gets turned on when Erik talks to him dirty in the many languages he knows

46. speed-dating https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=9705716#t9705716 Charles and run a speed-dating service, and Charles participated

47. Entangled https://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/2292.html?thread=1565428#t1565428 It's ridiculously hot and humid where I am and I just have this image of Erik and Charles tangled together in bedsheets, sticky and hot but unwilling to separate because they want/need to be close.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 137 }

like you do.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

notes: this story is going to get so meta, so my apologies in advance. also, despite my status of requests being technically closed, this one was too good to ignore. full request description and story under the cut ♡

p.s. - listen to joji’s like you do.

{ and everyone else… they don't matter now | you're the one i can't lose | no one loves me like you do… }

anonymous said: Thank you for answeringgggg. This gonna be long. Be ready to get bored✨🫶 I keep thinking about your Jinwoo post. The divergent one to be exactly. What I've been thinking is kinda similar theme. What about, a reader who's always there for Jinwoo but not visible? Like she's a system or a quiet constellation that supports him from behind but under shadow. In the early chapter when Jinwoo is running out of coffee. Suddenly he found a thermos inside his bag with a warm coffee. He didn't remember to prepare it, but since it was already inside his bag maybe Jin-ah put it in or he forgot, but it was the readers! Another chance, readers always help him in silence like, sometimes heal him a little by little, didn't want make a big question mark if he suddenly fully healed in a sec right? Helping to take care of Jin-ah and his mom whenever he's not there for them, healing the resident when war so there's no much loss happen and many little things that she do to help him. She gets jealous seeing him asking Hae-in to the amusement park, but what she can do though, she just loves him too much to be happy for him to find love. In the end, when he reaches his happy ending, the reader finds the courage to say goodbye. Whispering to Jinwoo's ear softly, saying goodbye and hoping he'll be happy. Then it felt like a snap for Jinwoo. It's... Warm, it's felt like it's always there, the reasons able to fight every problem and challenge, then it's gone, he doesn't feel complete anymore. This time for Jinwoo for searching readers! 📸📸 Sorry if my English is not good, it's not my first language 😔😔. Just want to drop this idea instead let it run around my mind and make me crazy to thinking Jinwoo and his readers who are always there🫶🫶🫶 Love you, my top list favorite person❤️❤️😼

{ ... }

it was pathetic, really.

sung jinwoo wasn't even someone that existed-

so why was it that your heart raced each time you would see his achingly handsome features against your phone's screen?

why does your heart continue to pound and fill your chest with butterflies with each new volume of solo leveling that came out?

and why did you have to get so jealous, witnessing the pure love jinwoo had in his eyes for cha hae-in?

it was so obvious that you were in love with him; genuinely in love with him despite how he would never be real.

in reality, you were bit of an introverted person, attending university with your head bowed down in a manner that let your peers know that you were closed off and shy. that you never could find the confidence to be your true self while in front of those who didn't know you.

perhaps that was why your heart was so drawn to a character like sung jinwoo. after all, he started out as being known as the weakest in the world; a meek and timid man who hid his anxieties behind a kind smile.

but you loved him all the same.

even when knowing he would never be able to see you-

or how you would never get to feel the safety of his arms around you-

or see the passion in his glowing eyes each time he would protect you from danger.

it would never be a reality for you-

yet still, you cherished jinwoo deeply,

like a lover would.

so, you spend your days reading stories pertaining to him, inserting yourself within these various daydreams as you tricked your heart into believing that he loved you, too.

after all, it was the one thing you could do to assuage the heartache you constantly felt whenever you saw jinwoo chasing after hae-in, even after he reset everything in order to protect the world.

even if you could never be his true lover, no matter how hard you tried to shift into his reality and be with him.

with a heavy heart while being surrounded by the various volumes of solo leveling, you lay still in your bed and put your phone down. you had finished re-reading the side stories that pertained to jinwoo's life after the reset and how his shadow soldiers were so happy that he found hae-in again-

and you had to stop because you felt your throat closing up due to the heartache and jealousy of it all.

feeling the warm tears streaming down your face, you close your eyes and fall into what you hoped would be a dreamless slumber-

only to be proven wrong the moment you lost your consciousness.

{ ... }

[ ... resetting ... ]

[ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ]

[ now loading ]

[ SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN ]

a strange sensation was felt coursing through your veins, and you awaken with a gasp, feeling your heart pounding as your eyes take in the scenery that surrounds you.

it takes you a minute to reorient yourself, with you standing shakily on your two feet, wiping the sleep from your eyes. you were dimly aware of the translucent screens that block your periphery. but... you weren't paying attention to that.

you allow your eyes to look around, widening upon feeling the sudden nostalgia that fills you. somehow... you knew that you recognized this city. but something felt... off.

for starters, the colors were so much brighter than what you were used to. it was as though the city were made by an artist who was passionate about their drawings coming to life. as you were left feeling awed, all while wondering why this all looked familiar to you was when you finally realized-

you were in seoul, south korea-

specifically, the seoul that was the main setting for solo leveling.

you felt the air rushing out of your lungs in labored puffs, your heart seeming to palpitate out of your chest when you allow your eyes to look in front of you, finally seeing the translucent screen and its message:

[ the system welcomes you... ]

"i... can you understand me?" you were speaking to the screen, feeling your heart jump against your chest when another message appears.

[ yes. i have chosen you to help with the development of the future shadow monarch. ]

you recognize jinwoo's title, ready to say something had it not been for the fact that you saw sung jinwoo himself running past you. your heart was caught in the confines of your throat, seeing jinwoo who had yet been awakened.

even with his frumpy appearance and lackluster clothes, your heart still managed to race for him. his grey eyes was much softer now, not attaining the edge of his post-awakened self quite yet. he was uncertain and shy, but you knew that deep down he had a heart of gold that wanted nothing more than to care for and protect his mother and little sister.

that was the sole trait that never changed-

and you loved him for it.

filled with a longing to be with him, to reach out and touch him, you didn't even think twice when you extended your hands out to him. you wanted so badly to touch his shoulder and tell him how everything was going to be okay-

that all of his dreams (and more) would come true as long as he remained vigilant and brave throughout each trial and tribulations he had to face-

yet the moment your hand was placed on his shoulder, you felt it pass through him…

your eyes became wide once more, looking down at your hands as you saw that they were also translucent. that your appearance seemed to mimic that of static itself, not quite taking a physical form despite how much you knew that you existed in this realm.

[ i am sorry, but i cannot have your existence meddle with the monarch's story. ]

you turn your gaze back to the screens-

back to the system's way of communicating with you.

[ however, i do know that your heart and soul are pure, and that your feelings for sung jinwoo remain true. ]

[ so i will grant you your desire of helping him. the system i have made for you is deeply tied to sung jinwoo. whatever item you wish to give him shall appear as the young man continues to level up. ]

[ do you agree to remain as SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN? ]

"...yes."

your voice suddenly became much stronger now, being filled with a determination that you didn't believe was even possible. just the thought that you were given this chance to be close to jinwoo was enough to bring you an immense amount of joy.

"i accept being his guardian... and helping him whenever he is in need."

[ ... very well. go on and carry out your first mission. ]

with one last nod, you await the system's next message as it read.

[ MISSION 1: FOLLOW SUNG JINWOO TO THE FIRST GATE; CONSTRUCTION SITE ]

already knowing the scene that was meant to play out, you keep your gaze honed in on jinwoo as he quickly crossed the street, with you chasing after him.

your movements were fluid, and you were so happy that the system gave you the ability to fly, allowing you to keep track of jinwoo and where he currently was at all times. you bask in such freedom of flight and stopped when you reached the construction site.

as if flight came as natural as breathing to you, you gently land next to jinwoo, seeing his forlorn gaze each time the older hunters insulted him, referring him to the weakest in the world. all you wanted to do was comfort him, and despite how you knew he would never feel you-

you couldn't stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him.

"it's okay, you will become stronger. and... i will be with you every step of the way." you say while keeping your arms hovered over his shoulders, your lips press against his skin in a phantom kiss while whispering lovingly within his ear.

suddenly, you take notice when he perks up, grey eyes filled with a newfound determination. you weren't sure what happened, but jinwoo seemed to find a bit of confidence as he steps closer to the coffee stand and speaks to the worker.

"hi, may i have a cup of coffee?"

the worker gives him a nervous smile while giving jinwoo a gentle shake of his head.

"ah, hunter sung jinwoo... i'm sorry, all the coffee ran out just now."

you watch as a look of disappointment appears on jinwoo's face, hearing him let out a sigh as you quickly called out to the system.

"please, give me a thermos filled with warm coffee, made the way jinwoo likes it."

the system then flashes you a screen, showing you your inventory as a green thermos was seen with the words FRESH COFFEE printed below it. you reach your hand and touch at the screen, allowing the thermos to appear at the palm of your hand before disappearing completely from your inventory.

with gentle movements, you manage to move the thermos filled with hot coffee towards one of the pockets seen on jinwoo's backpack, the sudden weight and appearance of the thermos making jinwoo take a step backwards.

"what the...?!"

you stand off to the side, feeling your heart beginning to race with happiness the moment jinwoo reaches into his backpack and pulls out the warm thermos, his eyes going wide. you couldn't help but gently laugh at his bewildered expression.

he was just so cute to you.

with a smile on your face, you watch as he opens the thermos, taking a swig out of the coffee while letting out a happy sigh. "wow, just how i like it, too. maybe jinah made this for me?"

"i'm really sorry about this, hunter sung jinwoo!" the worker calls out to him, but jinwoo simply smiles back at him.

"no worries! i think my sister packed some coffee for me before she left, so it's fine!"

before you could watch jinwoo enter the gate, you were suddenly pulled back by a force, preventing you from moving forward.

[ MISSION 1, COMPLETED ]

with a look of absolute yearning, you call out to jinwoo,

"STAY STRONG AND BE BRAVE! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

and for a brief second, before you were ripped away from this tiny portion of his life, you could have sworn that jinwoo turn around to look in your direction-

{ ... }

despite how this all felt unreal to you, you couldn't deny the sheer amount of happiness you felt, being labeled as jinwoo's guardian by the system.

in fact, you had felt so blessed, being a part of jinwoo's most prominent moments in his life.

from his second awakening, being resurrected due to the system's choosing while giving him several side quests and missions-

to helping him heal even the most grievous of injuries when he had to go against kang taeshik-

you were just so elated by it all.

never once did you leave his side, using your own system in hopes of making jinwoo's life easier.

[ COMPLETE ]

[ COMPLETE ]

[ COMPLETE ]

it was strange, but each mission that was given to you was tied deeply to your desire to help and protect jinwoo. whenever jinwoo had a need for a certain potion or elixir to help with replenishing his stamina or mana (especially during his earlier stages of leveling up), it would always mysteriously appear in front of him.

and during the moments where jinwoo showed his concerns for his mother and the well-being of his little sister, you would always stay behind and make sure that they were doing well. you knew that someday soon, jinwoo would make the holy water of life for his mother, but still kept watch over her to make sure that she remained undisturbed.

you kept going through the motions of his life, and once jinwoo was able to safely awaken his mother, you left jinwoo's side to give him a moment of privacy between him and her. even though you knew what would happen (burning the image of his crying face filled with relief and joy into your memories), it didn’t feel right to intrude on such an intimate moment.

yet you leaving the scene in the hospital suddenly brought you to a different part in jinwoo's life.

it had to be sometime after his mother's awakening, as jinwoo was seen dressed in all black. his hair was blowing gently with the wind as he remained seated on top of a building. his eyes were glowing, and it seemed as though he was waiting for something. you trail your gaze up towards the skies, seeing it being painted in an ominous, glowing violet hue.

you suddenly felt a strange pang against your chest, recognizing this scene as being the one that made you so jealous that it hurt.

it was the scene where jinwoo ask hae-in out to the amusement park before showing her the starry skies.

you watch with your heart clenching so painfully when he chooses cha hae-in's number and gives her a call, his voice filled with a gentle fondness as he asks if she was free. knowing what would happen in the chapter, it was clear that she would drop her training, just to be with him.

despite how you felt your throat clenching in response, you were given little time to react as the scene suddenly shifts once more, leaving your form cast to the side as you landed haphazardly against the street of the amusement park.

you could feel the heat dyed against your cheeks, finally grateful that no one could see you. you look to your front to see jinwoo and hae-in walking together, feeling your heartache reach even new levels. surrounding you were people who looked at the two hunters with awe, clearly admiring them as they stepped aside and made room for them, allowing them to walk freely around the amusement park.

if you thought reading this chapter was difficult, then your past self was dead wrong-

for witnessing this in action hurt far worse than this.

you shake your head just then, fighting back your tears as you stood back to your full height. with a determined nod, you take to the skies once more, following the future couple as they continued their endeavors within the amusement park.

you kept your focus on jinwoo, ignoring the pain in your heart each time hae-in was beside him.

like a movie playing out on the big screen, you watch as they rode every ride the amusement park had to offer. their expressions were left blank and filled with a boredom, not feeling the thrills like normal people would.

in fact, the scene was so funny and cute that you couldn't help but laugh.

after spending a few hours tailing from close behind them, you follow jinwoo and hae-in as they had lunch together.

"are you getting bored?"

"hey, no. i'm having fun."

hae-in admits to jinwoo while taking sips of her soda.

you could hear the amusement in jinwoo's voice when he asks, "then how come you haven't cried or screamed at least once?"

he sighs while playing with the straw of his own drink, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand while stating, "the games are a bit 'slow', aren't they?"

"hm, ah... yes..." there seemed to be a bit of an awkward silence when hae-in trails off.

suddenly, your heart was felt clenching once more when jinwoo gives hae-in a charming smile.

"so should we get on to something more exciting?"

her blush was evident, and you could barely breathe when the scene shifts once more.

you were back to the skies now, with jinwoo and hae-in riding on one of his shadow soldiers, a large dragon that flew across the heavens while seeming to cut through the setting sun with its shadowy wings. even as the tears were felt streaming down your face, you couldn't deny that such a scene was utterly beautiful to you.

you could not hear a single word that was being said between them, but you recall their words clearly from reading it so many times, back when your pain felt so fresh- just like an open wound against your heart.

you continue to hover above jinwoo and hae-in, allowing your tears to fall down against his cheek as his eyes seemed to widen in response.

"what... is it raining?" jinwoo trails his eyes up at the sky, and you had to move away from them as hae-in gave jinwoo a questioning glance.

"no, there are no clouds... it's not raining at all."

forcing your heart to calm down its rapid beats, you let out a shaky breath, wondering if somehow...

he could feel you after all...?

you shake your head at the thought and continue to follow them, knowing exactly where jinwoo planned to take her as the scene shifts for you once more. you watch as they arrived at a gorgeous meadow surrounded by the gentle forest, remaining up high in the sky as they admired the stars together.

"system... could you do something for me?"

[ of course. ]

you close your eyes and allow the tears to freely fall now. "summon a meteor shower... a show of the stars and heavens themselves for the lovers to enjoy."

[ as you wish. ]

you allow the system to summon a gorgeous meteor shower, hearing hae-in's gentle gasp while looking up at the stars. streaks of light trailed behind each meteor as the starry skies seemed to glow in response to the strange and ephemeral phenomena.

"it's so... beautiful."

your smile was filled with a hidden sadness, yet you couldn’t deny just how happy you felt being able to do this for him. and as you look over to see jinwoo's own reaction, you felt your heart stop in response.

for he was not looking at the skies or the falling stars-

he was looking directly at you.

"yes... beautiful."

yet before you could even speak, you saw the system's message as you were pulled away from the moment once more.

[ COMMENCING FINAL MISSION: FAREWELL ]

your heart was pounding as the tears fell freely down your face, suddenly taken to what looked like a more peaceful time.

your feet were staggering, trying to maintain your balance when you take shaky steps against the sidewalk. the sun was setting, and you saw what looked like jinwoo in his university years, standing with hae-in as he spoke to her while admiring the setting sun.

you knew what you had to do. now that you had done what your heart had always desired to do, you step closer to jinwoo to whisper in his ear.

"jinwoo, even though i am certain that you never saw me, i thank you for giving me this chance to be with you... to help with making your life even the tiniest bit better."

you let out a sniffle before shakily continuing,

"you have always been a sole source of comfort for me, and i know i need to take this chance and let you go so you can find the happiness that you deserve."

as jinwoo continues to smile down at hae-in, hanging on to her every word, that was when you let your tears fall once more before telling him one last time.

"i love you, and i'll always wish for your happiness."

with those finally words set free from the depths of your heart and soul, you felt a warmth filling you, with your form disintegrating into thin air as you felt your consciousness slowly return back to your world. yet even though you knew you would never see him again, you felt... content-

at peace, even.

[ well done, it is time for you to awaken... ]

the last thing you recall was seeing a blinding light… allowing your body to bask in its brilliance one last time…

{ ... }

there was a sudden emptiness felt within the depths of sung jinwoo's heart-

and he wasn't sure what was wrong with him.

jinwoo was never the same after he lost... something; even after he had used the cup of reincarnation while proceeding to live his life as a normal human being, there was a gaping hole left within his chest.

he remembers the feeling of a warmth surrounding him; of the sounds of a gentle voice calling out to him while encouraging him. it may have been silly, but...

jinwoo developed a great courage and strength thanks to that gentle voice alone.

yet now, he felt as though he had suddenly lost it.

no longer did he feel such warmth coursing through his veins. no longer could he feel that comforting presence that made his courage soar to new heights-

heights that he never could believe he could even reach.

such feelings of emptiness was what ultimately made his heart feel closed off from those that he loved...

from his parents and sister...

from cha hae-in.

he spent the following days being lost in a trance, and he didn't know what to do to feel whole again.

"my, i did not believe that the loss of her presence would affect you so deeply."

jinwoo lets out a gasp, suddenly finding himself within the same meadows ashborn had confronted him in; the moment he had died and was fully reborn as ashborn's successor- the shadow monarch.

the wind was felt coursing through his hair, and he could not bring himself to speak to ashborn, eyes losing what little light it once had.

had he fallen asleep? was that why he was back in the land of repose?

"you are unhappy." ashborn's voice echoes throughout the realm, and jinwoo could no longer ignore him.

"am i unhappy?"

jinwoo was dimly aware of the bitter laugh that escapes from ashborn's parted lips before suddenly changing into someone-

an unfamiliar young woman as his voice takes on her tone.

"have you forgotten? i am you and you are me."

jinwoo recognizes that voice, eyes going wide as he reaches out to the unfamiliar figure-

he was certain he had never seen such a young woman before in his life-

yet that voice-

that resounding voice who always always always seemed to comfort him when his fears had taken over him-

the strange image of the young woman and that comforting voice-

it had to be one and the same.

"who is she?! and... how come i can't seem to find her, or even know her... yet- i-i know her voice! she-"

"the woman hails from another universe, one that is like the world you currently reside it, yet different."

jinwoo could feel his head begin to spin upon hearing such a revelation. "she... she is-"

"she is not from your world. your lives would have never collided had it not been for my intervention."

the young hunter's throat began to turn dry, unable to form a coherent thought when ashborn continues to speak.

"the world she lives in is a safe one; one where the only monsters that exists are simply those selfish humans and their own dark desires. gates and the presence of rulers and monarchs have never touched her world..."

he watches with a fascination, seeing the alluring girl flash him a smile.

"in fact, your whole life may be nothing but a mere story within her world."

jinwoo finally snaps out of it, hands clenched into fists when he asks, "how can i reach her? is there a way for me to be with her with the way i am now? can i use my powers as a monarch to find her?"

"... don't you think it's foolish to give up all that you've known for her?"

ashborn's words were enough to make jinwoo freeze in his tracks.

"think carefully about my words, i told you she comes from a world where beings like monarchs and rulers do not exist.

if you decide to find her; to join her in such a world that is so vastly different from your own, then you will lose your powers as a monarch. you will be reverted back to a normal man.

will you truly give up your peaceful life here? your family, your friends- every battle you have faced will be all for naught if you decide to reach her."

jinwoo allows his hair to fall across his eyes, covering them from ashborn when he steadily asks, "why did you allow her to come here, then?”

a silence was felt permeating at the air, becoming thick with tension as ashborn decided on whether to tell him the truth or not.

"i sent her here, allowing her to live certain moments of your life together solely because of the strength of love she held for you."

that was all the answer jinwoo needed as he met with ashborn's gaze, telling him his answer with a determination seen within his glowing, purple eyes.

{ ... }

you wake up with a start, your breathing coming out in shaky breaths as the tears couldn't seem to stop. with a sigh, you cover your swollen eyes with both of your hands, struggling to catch your breath as you sorted through your every emotion.

you felt happy-

you felt love and adoration-

and the pinpricks of heartbreak coming into full fruition at the memory of jinwoo and hae-in together.

yet perhaps more so than that was the feeling of utter peace you felt after waking up from your dream.

feeling your smile going wide, you decide to wake up and begin your day.

you collect the volumes of solo leveling that you owned, making a note to yourself to buy the next volume when it came out. as you placed the solo leveling manhwa on your bookshelf, you begin to tidy up your room (making your bed and charging your phone in the process.)

it was strange; despite how you were 100% certain that you had been dreaming about being close to jinwoo as his guardian, you couldn't deny how much happier you felt once you woke up. it was true, the heartache was still there, yet you knew that as long as jinwoo was happy-

then you would be happy, too.

letting out a content sigh, you decide that it was high time that you changed your life for the better-

all while using the courage jinwoo had given you to become stronger.

{ ... }

there were rumors going around about a cute new freshman who transferred to your university, and despite how you held zero interest for any new students (because truly, new students came in troves each semester), you couldn't deny that you felt intrigued.

apparently, he was korean, with a face that could match with any current idol. according to the rumors, he had messy locks of black hair and dreamy, grey eyes. several girls had already tried speaking to him, practically throwing themselves at him-

yet he would always turn them down and tell them that he already had someone he liked.

but that didn't seem to discourage the girls (and some of the boys, too) from crushing on this handsome freshman. and admittedly, their antics seemed to greatly amuse you.

after completing your study sessions with your friends, you tell them that you had to go back to your dorm and make some dinner while working on your paper that was due soon. despite how they didn't want to see you go, you admitted to them how you would be too distracted at wanting to talk to them to get much work done.

in the end, they relented and allowed you to leave. you were simply walking back to your dorm, finding safety and comfort from within the street lamps that lit up the sidewalks. as you continued your trek, you look up to see an extremely tall young man walking down in the opposite direction.

the sight of him dressed in a hoodie and jeans makes you stop dead in your tracks, unable to look away from him. he also takes notice of your stance, yet instead of ignoring you and walking away-

he takes several steps towards you.

you were frozen on the spot, left staring up at him as the young man pulls down his hood, revealing unruly locks of ebony hair and a kind smile to you.

"hey, i've been looking everywhere for you."

his tone had a hint of an accent on it, but you couldn't deny that his english was impeccable. his presence made you feel butterflies all across your abdomen, and you weren't sure why that was.

"d-do i know you?"

you hear his rich chuckle echoing throughout the campus as he steps closer to you, allowing his large hand to gently touch at your cheek in an almost tender manner.

he whispers your name all while tracing at your bottom lip with his thumb.

"you do know me... i think you know me better than anyone else in the entire universe."

you then trail your gaze up to his eyes, only to see the perfect grey quality of them.

"sung jinwoo?!" his name comes out as a shock to you, yet before you could even fully process it, he takes you in his arms, allowing you to bury your face within his chest as a sense of relief courses through him.

"you have no idea how utterly lost i felt without you... how much my life had gone stale the moment you had said your goodbyes to me."

words were unable to come from your parted lips, your breathing coming out in ragged gasps as you suddenly felt the tears dot your vision. unable to deny the love you still held for him, you allow your arms to wrap around his back-

almost greedily.

"y-you know who i am?"

jinwoo's chuckle was a light one, and you felt something soft touching at the top of your hair when he admits to you.

"ashborn showed me your actions through the system... and once i realized how you were always there for me, i knew that i could not let you go."

he gently pulls you away from his chest, his eyes filled with emotion as tears streamed down his cheek, "i know that it was selfish of me, giving up everything that i have known just to be with you-

b-but in the end, it was worth it because i know that no one loves me like you do."

unable to hide back your happiness, you lean up to meet with his parted lips in a searing kiss. you could taste the saltiness of his tears as he held on to you, not daring to let you go as you basked in the arms of the man who loved you enough to give up everything he had ever known-

a man who would choose to cross universes, just to be with you.

a.n. - damn, this story was 5k words 🥹 but i hope that this was a story that you dreamt of, sweet reader of mine; one that would help put your daydreams to rest as i tried to bring each word to life. this is unedited, but i promise i'll make any edits after i post this absolute masterpiece of a request

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[everyonewooeverywhere]

dj.... do you think you could make a list of yunho's kinks 🙂‍↕️ I like your brain (if you don't wanna pls ignore this ily)

.........

🙂 so um.....

yeah i think i can do that (this is literally my dream ask) and i like your brain too bc it compelled you to ask me this 😘

(CW for general kinky shit. and a brief mention of cnc. nothing to graphic or descriptive but everyone read at your own risk pls and MDNI‼️)

jeong yunho is a freak. a kinky freak. and i have been saying this forever.

there are a couple things i've mentioned before, but the biggest thing to remember: yunho is into anything that makes him feel like he has control over the situation.

so yes, he's obviously a dom, but it goes a bit deeper than that.

bondage is an absolute yes. he's not particular to any methods, but anything that has your hands restricted (and sometimes your legs) is perfect for him. he really loves the control. and i think on an emotional level he takes a lot of pride and feels a lot of fulfillment over the fact that his partner trusts him enough to give up all that control.

kind of along with that, he is definitely into somnophilia too. something about you being so helpless just really does it for him. and i think there’s a lot of free use elements in the way he might go about a sexual relationship, too. so his love for somno definitely stems from how much he loves to overpower you on his terms. kinda in tie with this, yunho’s definitely in to cnc, too. it’s a power play for him. something about the resistance of it really drives him crazy. and he just fucking thrives off the knowledge that he’s in full control of the situation, not you.

now…the hands….yunho is a choker. we’ve established this many times before. he loves choking because of your reactions to it. he loves when your claw at his wrist and how you get all loopy from the lack of oxygen. but he also loves shoving his fingers down your throat to because it really gets him going when you gag around them.

i also really feel like yunho’s into exhibitionism but only in theory never in practice. like he’ll tease and tell you to be quiet or call you names when you get too loud and ask if you want the whole house to hear, if you want the neighbors to know just how good he’s fucking you. but he’s not gonna let anyone truly watch. this is his treat and his treat only.

some honorable mentions: name calling, overstimulating (giving or receiving probably), could have a size kink but it definitely goes both ways i feel like, corruption (with the right partner), dacryphilia, degradation, bro def has a foot fetish, mind breaking…(yummy~)

i can’t believe cry for me is the kinkiest thing i’ve written for yunho 💀 i really want to write something more deranged but i feel like my brain is dry 😞

[tyrantisterror]

Some stuff I learned at the Medieval Studies Congress today that will be of interest/use for Midgaheim:

There's a passage of Beowulf that, in the original old English, lists Grendel's kin/fellow descendents of Cain (the biblical first murderer). Two are easily translated to modern English: elves and giants (specifically "gigantes," one of the few times the poem uses a latin word rather than an Old English word, which probably specifically implies these are Biblical giants/nephilim like Goliath). The other two words are hard to parse because they have no modern English equivalent, and different translations use different words to try to give the same flavor. One is translated roughly as phantoms, undead, revenants, draugr, goblins, evil spirits, or demons, while the other is translated as trolls or ogres. However, both of those words mean something different than those equivalents - in the second term's case, it specifically means Jotunn, i.e. frost giants. And that's especially important for two reasons: 1, Grendel is referred to as being most closely related to that term, sometimes outright being called a Jotunn, and 2, Jotunn are VERY different than giants/ogres mythologically speaking, and the Beowulf poet would have known that. Troll is probably the best fit of all modern English monster words, since trolls were synonymous with Jotunns (and most other monsters) early in the history of Germanic languages, but the word Troll now means its own specific thing, so it's still not a good fit, and as the speaker surmised, it's probably best just to translate Jotunn… as Jotunn.

On a related note, the word "Ettin" is derived from Jotunn, so at some point I should make Midgaheim Ettins some sort of sister clade of ogres to Jotunns.

Beowulf says that giants were "wiped out in the flood," and because it specifically uses the Latin word "gigante," it's likely this is a reference to the death of the nephilim in Biblical apocrypha. BUT! Given how "Jotunn" is used often in the poem, it could alternatively refer to the flood of Ymir's blood in Norse mythology that ALSO wiped out a population of giants. OR! it could refer to BOTH, which would be an explicit instance of the poem trying to fit Norse myth and Christian apocrypha into one united mythos. It is possible the Beowulf poet may have been trying the same heretical bullshit I've been doing in Midgaheim.

A prominent theme in Norse myth was people who act monstrously turning into monsters as a result, and it's possibel that the word "Jotunn" may be rooted in the Germanic word for Gluttony, since early descriptions of Jotunns describe them as cannibals/maneaters whose voracious appetites are particularly destructive - a trait that they share with folkloric ogres across Europe.

Dragons, especially in Norse myth, have some psychopomp connotations, particularly with regards to the word "wyrm," which has always had an intended double meaning to include both serpents/reptiles and vermin/invertebrates. A wyrm is both viper and maggot, snake and worm, with the connective trait that unites all things under the category being its ability to inspire a primal fear. The Beowulf dragon specifically has connotations with Death and Rot, living in an ancient grave and ending the life of the near-unkillable hero of the poem. Nidhoggr also fills this role, as do his fellow root-chewer dragons who torment the particularly dishonorable dead in Norse Hel.

Gawain and Lancelot were disaster bisexuals. It is also probably arguable that most if not all of the knights of the round table are disaster bisexuals, but Gawain and Lancelot definitely are.

At least one incarnation of King Arthur kinda blatantly desired to be a throuple with Gwenevere and Lancelot, which would have solved so many problems. Like, he was aware both Lancelot and Gwenevere were more functional when they could fuck, and he loved them both dearly so come on, let them be a throuple.

There's a good argument that many, if not all versions of Mordred could have been gay.

One Gawain story has him accidentally kill a woman while getting into a fight with a knight over a dead white stag, and Gwenevere tells Gawain that from this day on he has to take a solemn vow to ALWAYS respect and protect women. Or, to sum up:

Lanval was a sub and that's why the fairy maiden asked him to visit her. Their dynamic also subverts a lot of medieval expectations of masculinity and feminity in Marie de France's version of the story, which subsequent authors tried to "fix" in later retellings - a big example is how in Marie's version, the Fairy Maiden steers the horse that rescues Lanval, while in subsequent retellings Lanval gets to steer despite the Fairy Maiden being the one who came to the rescue. Marie's version has both of them take on masculine and feminine roles, serving and protecting each other in turn, and seems to have this message that a good relationship should be an equal partnership where both sides shoulder each other's burdens while also caring for themselves. Marie de France continues to be my favorite medieval writer.

There was a lot of argument and theorizing about the nature of souls as incorporeal things that still can feel pain, with a lot of Christians arguing about what pain means to a spirit without a body, and how exactly hellfire can hurt a soul without a body. Dante kinds put the final word on it by drawing on the fact that angels and demons, who are beings of soul without corporeal forms, can create corporeal representations of themselves from air, smoke, fire, and light - damned souls are given substance, and thus pain, by Hellfire that wraps around their bodies, with one passage of inferno describing how the fire surrounding Ulysses curls at one point "almost like a tongue" to allow him to speak. The fire is also something that, depending on how you translate the poem, may be self inflicted - summoned by the sinner, or at least manifesting as result of their sins and faults, which goes with the theme of Dante's Hell where all the punishments are self inflicted/reinforced by the sinners themselves.

There's a medieval French poem about an island called Cokaygne (pronounced "Cocaine," no I'm serious I'm not shitting you it's called Cocaine) where the houses are made of crepes/pancakes, the rivers are made of sweet milk, food is plentiful, the weather is never bad, predators and disease are nonexistent, and the only people who live there are monks and nuns who spend all their time eating, resting, and engaging in kinky and satisfying sex. The poem is a satire of other stories of the time that attempted to describe Heaven, and explicitly says Cokaygne (Cocaine) is better than Heaven, because all you have to do in Heaven is look at clouds and grass, while in Cokaygne (Cocaine) you get to fuck nuns in your pancake house. To get to Cokaygne (Cocaine) you have to sit up to your neck in pigshit for seven years straight. It kinda reminded me of that hobo folk song "The Big Rock Candy Mountain."

Finally (for today), there's a Medieval story that's based on the story of the Buddha that fucks up the concept of "letting go of attachments" when trying to adapt it to fit a medieval french worldview, turning the concept from "free yourself from your desires" to "listen you shouldn't care about material wealth because the wealth you'll get in the spiritual world of Heaven will be WAY better, you get jewels and a throne and stuff it's sick dude," which proves white people have been fucking that concept up in stupid ways for centuries.

[detailtilted]

Index of Enhanced Edition Con Videos

I'll maintain this index in a pinned post for easy reference. Click the links to go to the YouTube videos, or click here for a more readable Google Docs table which includes these links plus a tab noting which events I skipped, temporarily or permanently, and why.

2007-11-11, Chicago - J2 Breakfast (00:23:42)

2007-11-11, Chicago - Jensen Solo (00:21:55)

2007-11-11, Chicago - Jared Solo (00:29:44)

2007-11-11, Chicago - J2 Main Panel (00:38:24)

2008-07-27, San Diego Comic Con - SPN Panel (00:50:52)

2008-11-16, Chicago - J2 Breakfast (00:26:16)

2008-11-16, Chicago - Jared Solo (00:26:20)

2008-11-16, Chicago - J2 Main Panel (00:35:04)

2008-11-16, Chicago - Jensen Solo (00:34:36)

2009-08-30, Vancouver - J3 Breakfast (00:31:53)

2009-08-30, Vancouver - Jensen Solo (00:27:17)

2009-08-30, Vancouver - J2 Main Panel (00:30:25)

2009-11-15, Chicago - J2 Breakfast (00:32:24)

2009-11-15, Chicago - J2 Main Panel (01:08:50)

2010-10-10, Chicago - Mishalecki Breakfast (00:32:48)

2010-10-10, Chicago - Misha Solo Panel (00:24:22)

I'm now working on the Mishalecki panel from Chicago 2010 that started immediately after the last video I published. After that, I'll do the J2M panel that followed immediately after that one.

Thank you to everyone who has shown an interest in these videos. The reblogs and likes all made me very happy, and I especially appreciated the kind comments some of you left in your reblog text and tags. I'm unsure of the proper Tumblr way to respond directly to that in a way that won't annoy people, but I've definitely noticed and appreciated it!

An explanation of this project and my tentative plans for it are listed below the break. A lot of it will be familiar if you've read my earlier posts, but it's more detailed -- and excessively long! There's also some info on how you can help, especially if you have any old videos or audio files that you'd be willing to contribute.

Why Do You Call These "Enhanced Editions"?

The videos I'm using are not my own, but I've spent many hours adding enhancements to them. My goal is to make these the most watchable and accessible versions of these older convention panels published to date. Credit and links to the original videos are in the video descriptions. These are the typical enhancements you'll see:

I'm upscaling the videos as best I can. It isn't remotely perfect, but it's a little more watchable than the originals. The videos I'm working with are very low quality by today's standards. and they were also recorded under difficult circumstances. Video taking wasn't permitted at most of the earlier cons, so the people who took them did so at the risk of getting kicked out. They couldn't exactly come waltzing in with a tripod, so the videos are shaky, they don't always have a clear view of the stage, and sometimes they cut off at unfortunate moments. They can be frustrating to watch, but we owe these people a debt of gratitude for capturing this footage because otherwise it would have been lost altogether.

When necessary, I'm correcting colors on the videos to try to make them look more natural and consistent. I'm very inexperienced in this area, and I don't consider it to be one of my strengths, but I'm learning.

The original videos are usually in multiple parts, but I'm editing them together into a single video as cohesively as possible. I may use videos from multiple sources to provide the most complete video possible, and I'll select the ones with the highest video quality and/or the best view of the action available. Sometimes I have to make difficult choices between the video with the best view (meaning a clear view of their actions and/or facial expressions) and the video with the best quality. I usually lean toward the one with the best view in those cases.

I'm adding extra content to help clarify references people make during the panels. The videos I've worked with so far don't take up the full width of a modern video frame, so I've taken advantage of that extra space to display the extra content to the side where it's less obtrusive. There are explanations for obscure references that are way funnier when you understand what they mean, plus episode references to help jog the memory for those of us who haven't rewatched the show a million times. In rare cases where I think it will enhance understanding, I'll insert brief episode clips that highlight what they're talking about.

I'm putting a LOT of time into adding good, color-coded English subtitles that can be turned on and off with YouTube's CC button. These videos can be frustrating to understand because the audience often drowns them out and Jared and Jensen tend to talk at the same time when they're together. I can't always figure everything out, but it's far better than the crazy, auto-generated nonsense that many videos have. YouTube can then translate my English subtitles into other languages, so this may improve accessibility for people who are less comfortable with English. The color-coding helps with telling who's saying what: red for Jared, blue for Jensen, green for the general audience, yellow for the current fan at the microphone, and white for other people such as staff.

If there's missing footage that I can't find anywhere, then if I can find a source that seems to have reliable details about what was discussed, I'll add static images with a brief summary and a link to my source in the video description.

What Conventions Do You Plan to Enhance?

I don't want to make grand promises that I'll enhance videos for every old convention, although I definitely love the idea of doing so. How far I go with this will depend on how much sustained interest there is from other people and how much spare time I have myself. My output speed will probably be erratic depending on what's going on in my life at the time.

My general plan was to start with the oldest conventions and work my way forward. For now, I'm focusing on the panels with Jared and/or Jensen since they're my main interest. I may temporarily skip over conventions that they didn't both attend, but with the intent to go back and fill those in later. If I obtain any mostly-complete videos of Misha's solo panels that upscale well, I may also do his panel if I'm doing panels for Jared and Jensen from the same event.

One big constraint will be whether I can find enough videos to work with for a convention, and just how bad the quality is. I've found that some videos are too poor of a quality to upscale. Since these videos are painful to watch in their raw form, I suspect people will be less interested in watching "enhanced" videos that don't include at least some noticeable improvement in visual quality, but please do let me know if I'm wrong. For that reason, I'll probably skip past cons if I can't upscale the videos, at least for now.

As I work through the old conventions, I'll make a good attempt to upscale the available videos. If I don't have much success, then I'll skip over that convention with the hope that I might be able to get some video files that upscale better. (See the "Can I Help? section.) After I make it through all the low-hanging fruit, I want to come back to those problematic conventions and just create a cohesive edit with color corrections, special content, and subtitles even if I can't upscale the video.

These are just my general thoughts right now but the project is young, so my strategy may change.

Can I Help?

If you have any old convention videos or audio files that you're willing to contribute, please message me! Maybe I can use them, maybe I can't, but the more I have to work with, the better chance I have of creating something more complete. If I do use your material, I'll credit you in whatever manner you prefer.

Even if your videos are on YouTube, I've found that the original files may upscale much better than videos pulled off YouTube. I think the videos were degraded when they were uploaded to YouTube, at least back then. If you send me videos that I'm able to upscale, I'll happily send the upscaled versions back to you for your collection regardless of whether or not I use them. (If you have any videos you don't want me to use for this project, let me know and I'll respect your wishes.)

Even if your video looks terrible, you might just have a missing piece of footage that I couldn't find anywhere else, or your video might upscale more easily than another. If nothing else, I might be able to hear something in the audio that will help me fill in a subtitle I couldn't figure out.

Likewise, audio files can be helpful even without video. If nothing else, they may help me fill in some subtitles. If the audio file is consistently easier to understand than the audio on the videos I'm using, I can also substitute the audio from your file in place of the video's audio. If you have audio of sections of the panels for which no known videos exist, that could also help me fill in those gaps.

If you're watching my enhanced videos with the subtitles turned on, please do let me know if you catch any errors or if you can clearly understand something I marked as [inaudible]. I can't change the videos themselves on YouTube, not without breaking the links and causing confusion, but it's pretty easy to update the subtitles because they're a separate file. It's important to me to try not to put words in their mouths that they might not have said, so I'm trying not to guess purely based on context if I can't tell with confidence that they said what I think they probably said. However, there were times when I felt like I should have been able to understand what they said but I just couldn't manage it, and I'm sure someone with different ears may be able to figure out some of the parts I couldn't.

[katsukiizmoon]

Fanfiction Writing / Reading

Hi everyone, I wanted to make a little post on general fanfiction writing and reading etiquette etc for everyone. For reference I've been writing fanfiction since I was 12, I'm now nearing 23 and I've been on tumblr since 2013. There's links to resources for those that would like them.

-> GENERAL ADVICE

Color Coding Dialogue On Tumblr: While using color can create visual contrast in things like titles or description, using it to color code dialogue can cause problems for those who are neurodivergent or vision impaired. For instance, I have trouble reading things where the dialogue for one character is bright in color. This means I miss out and can't read and support many new writers.

Showing support for your writers: I don't think demanding reblogs is an appropriate response. However, as someone who has been here for a long time, it's important. You can show your support by commenting, liking, reblogging (and reblogging with tags gives brownie points). Generally : liking will be lost in a sea of likes over time making it harder for you to find that fic again but shows you thought it was good, reblogging shows you enjoyed the fic enough to share it with those on your blog (you can even have a side blog dedicated to fics) and would like to find it again, reblogging with tags or comments says that you enjoyed it enough to share it, push it higher in the tags and that you had thoughts. This helps motivate writers ! Feel free to send them an anonymous ask if you're shy, expressing that you really enjoyed their work.

Use of italics and bold in works: Italics and bold should be used to indicate stressing or importance of certain words. EX: "no you did it!" vs "no you did it" ! You don't need to italic entire dialogue unless it's in certain situations (flashbacks, memories, whispers, etc)

Plotting & Timing: Plot and timing can be a really useful tool! Understanding what your characters are doing and having the plot move smoothly is important when writing. It prevents gaps and promotes interest. Even some of my works move a little too fast, and it can sometimes cause confusion.

READ, READ, READ: Reading is probably the fastest way to increase and broaden your horizons as an author. It allows you to gain a larger vocabularic range and new metaphors. And it helps you find what could be plot holes and more.

SMUT ; Cum Timing: I've written this before, it can happen but it's unlikely. I'll make a whole post dedicated to.. smut. But for now. Here's some other scenarios and miscellaneous notes: -> bottom cums really early on, then the top cums later -> top cums extremely early on, proceeds with oral on bottom -> top can't get it up (this happens a bit with drugs involved) for a while and gives pleasure to bottom, then stops and gives up on an orgasm

Those are a few of my main, overall tips but I'm going to link you to a bunch of resources, too. I understand more than anyone what it's like being new to this. But one of the biggest pieces advice I'm going to give you is:

Allow your writing to be objectively "bad" at first. It always comes with practice. My first fanfictions I used "~" like it was a goddamn period. It's okay.

-> RESOURCES

"writing resources : words are hard"

"describing feelings, emotions, and tone"

"au prompt list"

"how to write medieval smut"

"starting a new paragraph"

"writing resources: world building"

"writing fight scenes"

"ways to further develop main characters"

There are tons of writing blogs on tumblr. You can send them an ask anonymously if you have any questions and they may respond with some good resources. Being a little more on the accurate side, even if you accidentally fuck up a bit, gives you brownie points a LOT.

Have a nice day OwO !

[codingquill]

Why is landing an Internship as a Computer Engineering/Computer Science Student so hard ?

Hey there, dear coders!

I apologize for my long absence—life caught me off guard with a lot of work and projects. Now that I finally have some time, I wanted to make a post to connect with you all. Thank you so much for 1,000 subscribers! I know maintaining a community requires consistent posting, and I feel like many of you might have forgotten about me. But I promise to make something big out of this. I've been thinking about starting a newsletter where you can receive weekly emails from me, discussing something I learned that week or anything that intrigued me and I felt like sharing.

Now, back to our question: Is it really hard to land an internship as a computer science student? The answer is yes, and as a computer engineering student myself, I can attest to this.

I've often wondered why it's so difficult. After some observations, I discovered that almost every computer science student's resume looks the same. The portfolios are nearly identical, lacking uniqueness. If you've studied at the same school as your friends, what would make a recruiter choose you over them?

This is where uniqueness and a sense of self come in. Your portfolio or website should reflect exactly who you are as a person and highlight your strengths.

The second crucial factor is dedication. I've had classmates who are extremely dedicated. They might not have any special skills, but they show immense interest in what they want to do. This drive is palpable, and recruiters can sense it too.

Sometimes, the resume isn't even the most important aspect. For big companies like Oracle, what you say and know during the interview and technical tests matters more. The resume is just the very first step.

So, what I've learned along the way can be summed up in two words: uniqueness and dedication.

Now how to Create the Perfect Resume to Land an Internship as a Student ?

1. Keep the design simple:

Avoid extra designs or too many colors. While uniqueness is important, recruiters generally do not favor overly designed resumes.

2. Structure your resume properly:

- The Resume Header

Contact Information:

Full name and title: List your first and last name. Use the title of the role you want instead of your current title.

Professional email address: Use a clean format like firstname.lastname@gmail.com.

Phone number: Choose the number you check most frequently. Record a professional voicemail greeting if yours is too casual.

Address: List only your city and state. Let recruiters know if you're willing to relocate if applicable.

LinkedIn or other professional social media: Include your LinkedIn profile if it's active and relevant. List any portfolios or computer engineering-related sites.

- The Resume Summary

A paragraph where you describe yourself by answering these questions:

What is your professional style? (Use one or two descriptive words such as patient, critical thinker, consensus builder, excellent designer.)

What is your greatest engineering strength?

What will you add to this particular team?

What is your process for building and maintaining computer networks?

What are you proudest of in your career?

Example:

Motivated computer engineering student with a strong foundation in software development and solid analytical and problem-solving skills. Looking for an opportunity to enhance my skills in a challenging professional environment.

- The Employment History Section

Be specific about how you contributed to each position and the impact you made.

List the job title, organization name, dates of employment, and 3–6 bullet points showcasing your achievements.

Start each bullet point with a strong action verb like collaborated or designed.

Highlight significant achievements rather than just listing responsibilities.

If you have no experience, include a projects section. This will act as your experience. Highlight how you worked on each project and your passion for it.

- The Skills Section

Combine hard and soft skills. The skills section is often the first place recruiters look to ensure you have the key abilities they're seeking. Your entire resume should support the skills you list here.

- The Education and Certifications Section

List your education, including any relevant courses or special achievements during your degree. Also, mention any certifications you have, whether from freeCodeCamp, Google, Coursera, etc.

By following these tips, you can create a resume that stands out and showcases your unique strengths and dedication. Good luck with your internship search, and remember to stay true to yourself!

[stevehairingtit]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @geddyqueer for the tag~

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 24

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 72,539, which kind of makes me want to go add a word to something

3. What fandoms do you write for? Primarily Stranger Things, though I have some 911 stuff both published and planned

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Come and Turn the Tide (My "Achy Breaky Heart." My "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).")

Temperature Running High

A Kind of Magic (My lone Shadowhunters semi-hit)

Living Tissue, Warm Flesh

Slide It In

5. Do you respond to comments? Sometimes with significant delay, but yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? If we are just looking at the individual fic, I wrote a couple of episode codas during the Malec break-up in Shadowhunters that were fairly bleak. But I've never really written angst that isn't resolved by a follow-up fic or by the source material. I'm delicate. Ending author's notes don't count.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They are mostly pretty mushy! Can take your pick.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope

9. Do you write smut? Yeah, it's probably my primary vocation lmao. Though a pretty recent one! I had only written it twice ever before I started writing steddie.

10. Do you write crossovers? No, and I feel like this is not as common as it was when, like, LJ and ff dot net were the primary fandom sites.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Stucky........

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? lmao. I'm a quitter, so anything I start and don't finish in a sitting is at risk for this. My white whale, gogoboysteve, is the most fleshed out of my WIPs that I'm not sure I'll ever get all the way through.

16. What are your writing strengths? I am very funny. This is obviously good for comedy writing, which is my wheelhouse, but I think more dramatic writing is still set-up and punchline, even if the punchline isn't played for laughs.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? You know how pointing out your insecurities draws attention to them? I started listing stuff, decided that I don't want you noticing my eyebrows are more cousins than twins, and deleted it. I will say I think I am something of a one trick pony and comedy is also a bit of a crutch for me and nvm, Kam reblogged a post about finding your form as a writer, and I am not a one trick pony, I have just been called to write silly porn. My weaknesses are varied sentence structure and physical description.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done it, but I think it is fine as long as you are not using a translation software to do so.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Maximum Ride

20. Favorite fics you've written? I've said it before, but right now Path to the Rainbow's End because I finished it lmao. And I like the end product! The Floor of Heaven's Lain is also a favorite, I think the structure is fun and interesting, and I could read it immediately after I wrote it without picking it to pieces.

Tagging @postmodernau @cuips-not-cute @jamiethegardener55 @mustlovesteve

[ultimate-weirdo-tk]

Re-introduction Post~✨

Hello there, everybody! So... This is my third attempt trying to come back to Tumblr.

Many years passed by and I feel like this blog needs some changes, since I don't feel like I connect to my past self anymore. Hopefuly, my social anxiety won't get in the way this time.

Anywho, we're here to reintroduce ourselves, right? Then let's waste no more time!

Who am I?

For those who don't know me, I'm Ultimate Weirdo, but you can call me UTK for short.

I'm a sfw tickle artist who makes silly fluffy drawings just for fun and comfort.

If you're not interested in this type of content, you might aswell visit my normal account:

@sisi-chan-draws

Where I also post drawings that aren't tickle related.

If don't, you're free to explore around other Tumblrs that might be of your liking. Everyone has their own tastes and that's ok!

Where did the fandom list go?

I figured I don't wish to have a fandom list for many reasons.

But the main ones are that I'm in way too many fandoms to name, and the other one is that I prefear focusing my blog in my current fixation at that moment.

Note: My current fixation will always be stated in my blog's description, and will vary depending on the fandom I'm in at the moment.

Also, English is NOT my main language, so I apologize for any misspellings.

Things I do support and don't support in this blog

Some of the things supported in this blog are:

•OC x Canon

•Self Insert x Canon

•LGTBIQ+ Community

•SFW Tickling

•Headcanons

•Alternative Universes

•And many more!

Things that I will NOT be supporting:

•Racism

•Homophobia

•MAPs

•Animal Abuse

•Proshippers

•Any kind of Political Topics (Srry but this blog is to keep your mind away from the real world for a few minutes. Reality sucks so bad)

•And pretty much any other common sense stuff that is considered immoral

When will you be posting?

Only God knows. After a couple of tries of coming back to Tumblr (Each of them failing misserably), I've come to the realization that I will post whenever I feel like it.

I'm awful when it comes to managing my time and schedules, so you can expect a post coming out of absolutely nowhere in the least expected time.

Did I read "Social Anxiety" up there?

Yes you did, my friend. I really need to state this and it's quite important for anyone who wishes to interact with me at some point.

I suck at social interaction

That doesn't mean I don't want to make friends tho.

I just really need everyone to understand that I will not always be avaliable to interact, or that my brain tends to overwhelm so bad that sometimes I tend to leave the conversation.

This has been a trouble I've had for so many years now. And although it's theorically easier for people to interact via internet, for me that's not the case. I really hope everyone understands this, and I'm so sorry if I cause any trouble in the future because of this.

Take in mind it will not be your fault, but mine.

Well, that's about it! ✨

I really really hope this time I can keep up with this blog.

I also wanted to thank everyone who had been supporting this blog even if it was inactive for so so long. It really means so much to me and I really really want to try again and come up with more tiggle related stuff.

Take good care everyone! UTK out!

~💖✨

[indignantlemur]

I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners writing a long fanfic?

Thank you.

Hello! I actually do have some advice, though of course I must stress that what works for me is not necessarily what will work for others.

I'll break this down into two categories - general and specific.

🖊️GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

🌟FIRST: Find a process that works for you to stay on track.

Some people find making a diagram or a mind-map of ideas and plotlines helps them stay on track. Some people make a bullet-point list of what they need to accomplish in each chapter. Some don't even bother making a list at all, and write on the fly.

Personally, I've found that making an outline helps me immensely. I can flesh out the outlined points as I need to, throwing in possible bits of dialogue or descriptions that come to me when I think about a scene I've planned, and I can move each plot point around as needed. Not only does this keep me organized, but if I need to take a break from writing, I'm not left floundering when I come back to it. I can pick up the threads right away, because I know exactly how and where I left them and what they're meant to tie into. I keep all of my plot notes on a separate document that I can switch over to (or keep open on a second screen, or even just open on my phone, really) and I reference it constantly.

I do this for shorter stories as well as longer ones, and the key to make this approach work is understanding that the plot points and tidbits I have prepared are guidelines. Only the bare bones are set in stone, and even then I give myself as much flexibility as possible. Sometimes, the scene develops in such a way that I can't include the dialogue or descriptions I'd hoped to because now it doesn't make sense - and that's fine. I save the defunct bits, cut and paste it to a junk drawer document where I put all my missing and cut scenes, and see if I can reuse them in the future. No writing is a wasted effort.

🌟SECOND: Get a second pair of eyes on your work.

Find a beta-reader, or a very good friend who isn't afraid to tell you when something needs work. Ideally, both. Beta-readers are worth their weight in gold twice over (I love you @emilie786!) and will help you with the grammar and the flow of the scene, often catching mistakes you miss. Some beta-readers only want to proof-read, and some want to be more involved in your writing process - clear communication about goals and expectations is key!

Likewise, a writer-friend who's willing to look at your work while it's still rough and give you feedback on it (becoming your alpha audience, as it were) is an amazingly helpful person. They can help you by suggesting different takes on a scene, or alternate phrasing when your writing feels a bit awkward in places, or even workaround for plot problems and any difficulties you run into. I frequently chat with @the-lady-general about our different writing projects, and it's been immensely helpful for both of us.

🌟THIRD: Be prepared to kill your darlings.

So, you've written a thing. You worked hard on it, poured your heart and soul into it, and you love it to pieces. Of course you do! Only... your beta-reader had torn a scene or a character to shreds, however kindly, and now you have to cope with rewriting it.

A kneejerk response a lot of new writers have to this is to get defensive and upset - I've been guilty of this myself, in the distant past when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I'll tell you now what someone should have told me then: sometimes, a person has to be cruel to be kind. A beta-reader or a friend telling you a scene needs work is a gift compared to your story being panned by negative reviews after the fact, especially if you are the sort to put a lot of emotional value on your reviews (as many of us do).

When this happens, because it inevitably will, listen.

Step back, take a day or two to reset your brain if you need to, and then review what your beta-reader told you. Look at it objectively, without emotion. If you cannot, bring in a friend or mentor who can help you do so. Go over what's been said, the chief complaints and concerns, and open up a new document. Copy the scene. Paste it over. Rewrite the scene in the new document, taking all of the advice given to you into account. Once you're done, take a break. Make a cup of tea. Grab a snack. Go for a walk, even. When you're done, come back and read both the original and rewritten scenes.

You may very well find that your writing has benefited from the exercise, if nothing else, but I suspect you will find you like the rewrite a little better.

🌟FOURTH: Writing tutorials and guides are goldmines.

If you're struggling with writing a scene, or even if you just think it doesn't flow the way you want, look at what other writers who can write these scenes suggest. I struggle with action scenes, personally, and I've been referencing a lot of guides for Hoarfrost (which is still in the works but getting closer to completion!) to shore up those weak points in my writing.

Heck, I spent a literal week reading nothing but smut guides and writing tutorials, learning everything from phrasing to atmosphere-building, before I felt brave enough to try writing TSKW, never mind actually posting chapter 44 of Emigre. My ads haven't been the same since. The VPN did nothing.

Of course, a thesaurus is a valuable tool as a writer, but learning how to stitch your words together to create a scene is more than just knowing twelve different synonyms for the word "said." To that end, I would say that there is absolutely nothing shameful about taking inspiration from other writers and published authors, or from guides and tutorials. So long as you're not copying another's work or borrowing their ideas without permission, of course.

And, finally,

🌟FIFTH: Don't be afraid of writing badly.

I started writing when I was 8 - silly, nonsensical things with no particular plot or plan. Charming, but terrible. I got into fanfiction at 12, and the stuff I wrote was beyond cringe-inducing. Mary Sues, flat descriptions with no life to them, using too much emotion or too little, unrealistic reactions and irrational decisions from every character unfortunate enough to be involved - you name it, I wrote it.

All of this is a perfectly normal part of writing, even if I'd rather walk into the sea with a canon ball lovingly bundled in my arms rather than let any of it see the light of day ever again.

Through these horrible, absolutely godawful first steps into the world of writing, I grew. I got negative reviews, and supportive ones. I took breaks and tried again later. I wrote and rewrote. I erased entire documents and started from scratch more times than I can count (which I kind of regret, hence my advice to make a junk drawer document). I spent weeks, months, even years using my maladaptive daydreaming to hone scenes, refine characterizations, and tweak plot ideas. I have stories and worlds in my head that have been percolating for a literal decade or more, and they still don't feel ready to put onto paper yet - but if I don't start despite that, they never will be.

So don't be afraid of writing badly, and certainly don't let that fear stop you from writing at all. After all, churning out a rough, unrefined first draft is the first and most important step to learning how to write well.

✒️SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

The first, best piece of specific advice I ever got when starting out was this:

🌟Describe the scene as if you were describing it to a blind person.

(I always took this advice to mean someone who had recently lost their sight, rather than someone who would have no shared frame of reference for visual descriptions, but you're quite welcome to interpret it differently.)

The colours and shapes we readily think of when it comes to describing a scene are important, but what about texture? Scent? Taste? Scent in particular is hugely important to people because it's directly linked to our memories, but sound and touch are also very important for setting a scene. By excluding those details, you are robbing the audience of layers of immersion.

Think about the sights and scents and sounds around you as you go about your day. How would you describe them? The smell of coffee from across the room - is it earthy, bitter, burnt? Is Karen from accounting eating fish tacos again, despite multiple complaints, and now the cloying, oily aroma of microwaved fish has saturated the entire office? What about the warmth of sunlight streaming through a nearby window against your arm, the way the light catches on the hard edges of the furniture and the highlights in a woman's hair. What about the sound of your shoes against the floor as you walk, the click of heels and the shuffle and squeak of sneakers? Think about how you would describe what you're wearing, beyond bare facts. The softness of the fabric, the sturdiness of the construction, the weight of the material - how would you put them into words?

Spend time actively paying attention to the world around you, to conversations and scenery and people, and ask yourself: how would I write this?

The second piece of advice may seem contradictory, given the first, but it's worth hearing anyway:

🌟Sometimes less is more.

Descriptions and explanations are an important part of story-telling, enhancing the scene and building the world around it, but there's a time and a place. We don't need to know every single descriptive detail about the main character in the first paragraph, or even the first chapter. We don't need to know the entire history of the new alien species the moment we meet them, or even for years after the first encounter. We don't need to wade through ten pages describing how strange and bizarre the alien trees are, nor do we need three different descriptions of the shape of each leaf on every branch.

Learn to space out your expositions and descriptions. Treat them like sprinkles - they look better when they're spread out over the whole cake, rather than clumped in one spot.

My third bit of general advice is this:

🌟Don't rush it.

It's really, really tempting to rush towards that one amazing scene you have planned out in your head - the one with the big emotional impact, the plot twist, the big scene - but don't! Hold off! We, the readers, don't know about all the details that lead up to that scene. We don't know about the layers of meaning and all the build up that leads to that great pay-off. Without that, we simply won't get it. We won't understand what you're trying to convey, or why it's such a big deal.

Take the time to build up the story, to show us how your characters learn and adapt and grow with each challenge. That journey is important. It might feel tedious, like a slog you have to get through to get from Point A to Point B, but we need it! We need those scenes, those moments, in order to stand where you want us to stand when the big scene begins, to know what we need to know and feel what you want us to feel as we watch it happen.

And finally, my fourth and final bit of specific advice:

🌟Wish fulfillment is fun, but realism is what draws us in.

We have all made Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and every possible permutation of them, even if we never quite put pen to paper with them. Many folks who get into writing start by imagining a character who serves as a kind of wish fulfillment or power fantasy put into writing. It's perfectly normal - but the thing to remember is that those characters are a bit... bland. They don't struggle. They don't fail. They don't lose. Or if they do, it's not in a meaningful way. That kind of character is so divorced from reality that it breaks the readers' suspension of disbelief.

Everyone alive has a combination of talents and failings, weaknesses and strengths, insecurities and weird quirks. That's part of the Human experience. A perfect, flawless character defies that experience, and thus we cannot relate to them. The character becomes flat and uninspiring to the audience, and once that happens all that remains is apathy. When there are no stakes, there is no investment. Why should we care about a character who will never fail against even the most overwhelming odds? We already know the ending, because the character cannot lose.

So I urge you to really look at your characters. Some folks recommend taking "Mary Sue Litmus Tests" and such to get a rough idea of how your characters might be received, and those are certainly useful tools - but they are not the only tools at your disposal. Read constantly. Watch films and documentaries alike. Try out new show and book genres, even the ones you don't think you'll like. Really look at the people around you, at how they act versus what they do, and how their unique combination of personality traits and flaws coalesce into a perfectly ordinary person. Inspiration is literally everywhere around you, if you look for it.

Now, everyone creates characters differently. Some folks start with an idea, or a core concept, and build the character around that. Others make characters more procedurally (wherein those "20+ questions about your OC" posts are actually quite useful), and some even use generators to slap a bunch of traits together to see what sticks. Some characters seem to spring fully formed from the ground one day, and others can take years of tinkering to really come into being.

Look for inspiration everywhere, and you'll eventually find a way that works best for your writing.

...I know, I know. You asked for advice and I wrote you a book. If you've made it this far, kudos. Writing can be a lot of work, but never let it be anything other than a labor of love.

[autumnslance]

I have a question about carrying out an idea. I think this writing issue I've been having has been plaguing me longer than my time on Mateus; I’ve always struggled to get past chapter one or even stick to an idea, even when I started writing years ago. Are there any pointers on carrying an idea or story through?

That's a hard one, as I know I have plenty of plans and WIPs I haven't gotten past those stages myself.

So I ask myself what's the core of the idea, the heart of it? What is it I really want to say? I don't tend to write chronologically myself; I write lines, descriptions, bits of dialogue, scenes, and chapters entirely out of order. I know where they "go" in the overall arc. And sometimes, like with the Avengret storyline, I can then string them together, shuffling the order, writing new bridging scenes, removing or combining others as needed.

If I am trying to write in order, even then if a section is hard, or boring, or not working--skip it. Put in some brackets with [AND THEN X AND Y HAPPENS AND IT'S NOW THE NEXT DAY]. Move on to the next part that excites you, or that you at least know what happens. You can always double back later and add in that connecting scene...or even decide it isn't needed now, you've covered everything it would have elsewhere, and can just be summarized and moved on from.

I've recently been reading a "How To Write" series of books by James Scott Bell; there are several, but they're all pretty short. One of the pieces of advice he gives is to start in the middle (go to the midpoint of just about any novel or film, and it's somewhere very near that 50% mark in one direction or another). Find the "mirror moment" a point--sometimes a page or paragraph, sometimes just a single line--that is a frank look at the situation, self, etc on the part of the main character. What do they see? It's a moment of reflective truth. Who is the character in this midpoint? How did they get here? Who do they need to be/what must they do to get to the end? How do they realize they may fail? What forces are against them? Do they realize/acknowledge any of this?

These are recommendations more for novels than short stories, but heavens know how long some of our fics go, and short stories do still have similar, if truncated, structures and beats.

Anyway, you're not beholden to write from beginning to end. You may not know everything about your story yet--because you haven't written it yet, and these things change form, even for plotters with outlines. Write scenes. Write chapters. Write microfics that are just a couple lines of dialogue. Use prompt lists and challenges, if you gotta. Start small and build, as one of the old philosophers said.

(and eventually one day you look and realize you've written a few hundred thousand words, many of them about your OC and a Damn Rogue wending through their world...)

Writing works like exercise; you have to practice it, figure out what works for you, at what times of day, and it can be a struggle to keep up momentum. In the meanwhile, you also have to take other care of yourself.

Like actual exercise (whatever you're able to do; at least stretches, which is where I'm at some days). Remembering to eat and stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep (don't @ me, I sleep, just on a later schedule), and also do remember to intake other creative works; I got a rush of inspiration last year and spent months feverishly writing scenes and plotting and writing dialogues and making timeline outlines and writing more pages I'll never use after reading a popular novel, cuz the visceral language and a vaguely similar character dynamic in certain specific ways clicked something on in my brain. We gotta feed that persnickety little muse.

And on the days the muse is being recalcitrant...we write anyway. It's hard, it feels like it sucks, but if we want to get something done? Write something. Anything. Stream of consciousness if you gotta; complain, talk out your ideas, maybe write a little from that. And the next day look at it and realize it's not so bad as you thought and a little polish will fix it.

So don't try to be perfect first round; writing is messy. Revision and editing is where we make it look pretty (you usually don't have to rewrite entirely front to back, either; some folks like to, but for many others that's only if there's serious structure issues; mileage varies per project, too, as they're all different).

So write the scenes out of order, as they come. See what ideas stick and what are just idle thoughts. Maybe they're all true and there's multiverses and AUs there. See what starts t string together into coherence. Don't be afraid to revise, rewrite, even retcon if something better comes along months later after you already posted something.

The only way to know the story is to write it, figuring out how it wants to be written, and sometimes that means writing it from other angles and around the back way until it tells us how it got to that point (and whether what we thought was the start actually was or not).

Anyway. This got long, hopefully there's some tiny tidbit that helps!

[lunalit-river]

[Vent] Comparative Analysis of My OC and Other OCs Observed in L/f!oc fics

*Excuse my English. This post has not been revised by AI for grammar and flow.*

Introduction

Why am I writing this instead of concentrating on my own fic? Answer to myself, it's because there were plenty of doubts while writing. The fear of writing her as not likable, not logical, not complex enough, not human enough, and not acting aligns with those who have trauma, and the last, the fear of accidentally writing her as Mary Sue. Several times I was reading someone else's fanfic and their OC were very popular? Likable? Interesting- in some sort of way, in a way that I find amusing, yet the characterization is never to become my own OC's personality. And with good reason. This post is for myself, to remind me why I write her as she is and why not she is the kind of OC that I imagine modern readers would like (I want to be welcomed by readers, too, yet sadly, I cannot make my OC more loving) Or to put it in another way, this post is me being very self-aware, or convincing myself that it's okay to write her like this. This is me analyzing my own OC.

Basic Description of My WIP F!oc

Nanami Miru (七海咲来) born in England, Japanese family. Abusive parents died in a fire, then entered Wammy's House, given alias "Meredith". Only close people would call her "Meri". Different alias were taken by her in various stages of life and situations, the most used would be Meredith/Saotome Rin (早乙女凜), Later taking the code name "M", carries out Watari's assignments. For more detail, please refer to Far Side of the Moon (AO3)

Varies kinds of OCs Observed in L/F!OC fics

It seemed that categorizing OCs into these kinds was not really fair for the fics I've read, but I won't list them out specifically, so I think sorting my own observations wouldn't hurt, I think. It is noted that these OC traits can appear combined.

Mommy OCs (sometimes this can be a tag) The girl that would take care of other children in Wammy's House if she were a Wammy child. If she is not a Wammy child, then it would be shown in later chapters that when she has contact with the Kira task force, she will take care of everyone and, of course, including L. Very good at taking care of others, physically and emotionally, a motherly like persona. She may also be a great assistant to Watari.

Sassy/wild/badass girl OCs (this is also a tag) The not-obedient girl that would argue and fight L. Maybe fight Watari. Maybe fight everyone. She would teach all of them a lesson, and let them know who's in charge of this story (?) Most of these OCs can be the tough kind, but it does not necessarily mean that she doesn't have her vulnerabilities. Giving enemies to lovers trope more, instead of friends to lovers, even if the fic stated that they are "friends" (or working partners)

Outgoing OC Had to write this separately from the previous category. Outgoing girl to contrast the gloomy vibe of L's. The contrast of their personality would give an interesting take on how they view things. Mostly this kind of outgoing girl is also loved by many others, and including L in most scenarios. Not necessarily sassy wild or not obedient. Frankly speaking, it would be more like this OC is an extrovert, in contrast to L's introversion.

Practical Realistic OCs (more cerebral) <-I'm currently aiming for this, more. I think most OCs I read do have this trait, but also combined with other mentioned traits. OC being intelligent and maybe participating in the Kira case, and giving out her advice to L and Watari, or maybe conducting some missions that Watari or L handed her.

Analysis: M and the OCs mentioned previously

As I do not consider myself to read enough L/OC fics, maybe just pause here on the categorization. Now, I would apply the above-mentioned OC types to my OC and see why she doesn't/does correspond to these popular traits.

Mommy OC I could see M sometimes being watchful to other children in Wammy's House, but rarely. It's more of an act of being nice to others, but nothing more. Without receiving much affection and love from her original family, it would be hard for her to know how to take care of others, especially those who didn't have much to do with her. (If you have not received love, then how do you give love to others) She kept herself quite distant from peers as well, and maybe the only person that she spent time with was Watari, the first person to give her kindness closer to a fatherly figure, and her first emotional dependence was mostly on Watari. Later, with L. But as L himself is also quite distant and isolates himself from others, it would be reasonable when M spends most of her time with L, and only L. It wasn't until after L left Wammy's House that she would have the chance to have contact with others more, and in my current WIP, with a boy named "Adam". What she did was not take care of Adam, but only have some contact and help him with some assignments of his current courses, as she is a few years older than Adam.

Since then, Adam would continue to learn some more music theory from Meredith, and sometimes would ask for her help on the assignments that the instructors assigned to him. It was then Meredith realized how difficult subjects Adam was learning, much more challenging than what she was learning when she was his age. What he was learning maybe two years ahead of his peers, she estimated.

If M had to take care of anyone, it would only be L and Watari. But I don't think that she needs to take care of L? Like, L has Watari beside him, so why need another being to take care of him if he already has a great butler who would even dress him on a daily basis (see, L: One Day) But I've always considered the concept of a "motherly" person has to start with some kind of love that she received before, maybe in her childhood. It was never the case for M. She may know how to serve, clean, and cook (but not baking, as she sucks at baking) from learning later in life, but it only means that she knows how and not necessarily giving the motherly feeling. I've always wanted to write a story that conveyed that being a mother and knowing how to be a mother is definitely acquired and not born with it. Yes, of course, some have an instant love for their child or young children, and maternal love is in the blood, but not all women apply to this. When accepted maternal love is acquired and needed to be learned instead of born with it, I suppose many woman could be relieved from the society's emotional blackmails of "you are the mother and you should do xxx for your child".

Sassy/wild/badass girl OCs This is more like a choice, choosing what kind of personality that one's OC would have. And I did not choose this kind. If I have to give a reason, then it would also stem from the original family that M had. Suppressed feelings and hiding your thoughts from others was what she was educated on, and with the trauma that she experienced, one of the reactions I really wanted to write about was fawning. She is desperate to cling to someone who could provide her love. Therefore, she would not have the personality to be a badass girl, I suppose. She is too afraid to be unseen, to be ignored by those whom she cares about the most, to be rejected, and therefore, she doesn't really have the courage to be disobedient. To my own interpretation of this OC, it would be harder for her to stand up to Watari than fight L, as to her she may have a more horizontal relationship with L, but never with Watari. It would definitely be vertical. M struggled for praise when she was younger and even after entering Wammy's House. Watari needed patience to make her more open, and that's why the little girl likes the inventor and sees him as the fatherly figure that she did not have in her childhood. Watari was more like a father when he was around M than L. Out of my own agenda, I wanted M to be the soft spot of Watari, but it does not mean that Watari would prioritize M more than L. Watari wanted to change the world. And L was his hope to accomplish that. It was also my attempt to subtly show Watari's obsession with L's success and later to pursuit the goal of world peace, the reason for the successor's program. I know that in Another Note (AN) Watari was portrayed like the mad scientist that wanted to copy L's success, and disregard the well-being of Wammy children, but this is really different from the relationship that Watari shared with M. In later chapters, I did have an attempt to explain and adjust the reasons provided by AN, and I do hope the narrative is logical and in an ingenious way that does not go too far from canon but still maintains the warmth Watari expressed to M, and to other children of Wammy's House. I think I'm carrying away too much in this passage.

Outgoing OC This is also by choice more than reason. Couples in my own experiences mostly share similar personalities than those who had totally different personalities. L and M both are quiet introverts that only open up more when they are around people they are familiar with- well, maybe we can't really see that in L in canon, but he definitely is not an outgoing guy. There was a scene in anime when L knew that it would be his death day, and he went to Watari, with Watari asking him "What's wrong" but he remained silence. I think it was the few moments that we could see L seeking for some kind of emotional comfort from Watari, or maybe wanting to take one last look at the man that raised him, but didn't know what to say or express. L felt strange to tell Watari that he hear the bells. It was not him. It was not logical. And even he did tell Watari, Watari may not understand what he meant (It's really metaphysics, to say.) But judging from this scene, I do think that L would open up, very slightly, to those who he trusts the most. But never to others, colleagues (task force), or mere friends, let alone potential rivals (Yagami) Where am I? Ah yes, outgoing OCs. So it's only really my own preference to write a love interest of L's sharing similar personalities like him. Communication and opening up would be easier for this kind of couple, in my experience. And with M also not the outgoing girl, I could maintain that very nuanced emotional flow between the two of them. Everything is very subtle and indirect. And that is the kind of story I wanted to tell.

Practical Realistic OCs (more cerebral) So, this part, the thing I wanted to point out is that I do want my OC to be practical and realistic. The part that I am not going to write is OC engaging in L's investigations or career. I know that to showcase an OC's intelligence and make L approve of her is to make her work with him in some cases, or even the Kira case, but it just boggled me that if L really cherished another person, then would he let her engage in what he is doing? First, he knew that his career was never the kind that was considered safe. Especially Kira case is the most dangerous and difficult case for him; in my own understanding of L, he would be well aware of the danger and would not want his love interest to risk her life in such matters. Second, L has some sort of pride. Ego. this is his domain. Solving cases, whether it was a game for him or fighting for justice, gave him a sense of accomplishment and relieved the boredom he experienced as the top. Handling the case on his own would suit him more like L; he would again prove to others that he is the top and greatest of all. Even if L didn't have this thought, L is a man who has boundaries and needs ultimate freedom when he works. He would need assistance from the task force and Watari, but he dislikes to be distracted, as evident from canon.

I can't stand it when people's cellphones are ringing while I'm trying to talk. Let me start by saying nobody takes notes on anything that's said in these meetings. That means when we leave headquarters, any information we need is committed to memory. Please, make yourselves comfortable. (L, Death Note-Unraveling)

So how to show OC's intelligence and respect for L's boundaries? My answer in my story is, she has her own career, her own assignments given by Watari. L would only seek for her advice if he really needed it. But both of them would not trespass into each other's domain. By doing so it could maintain the boundaries of L's, giving him maximum freedom in investigation without having to worry about his love interest risking.

"I have confirmed that Kira is a student." L paused, bringing his thumb to his lips before continuing, "I'm just trying to gather more clues." M peered at the screens and flashed a smile. "Looks like the schedule of a third-year high school student." L inquired, "How so?" "If it were a first or second-year student, they would have club activities after school," M gestured towards the time on the screen, "but third-year students are busy preparing for university entrance exams and are not required to participate in clubs. Unless Kira didn't participate in any clubs, which is uncommon for Japanese students, it must be a senior student." (Far Side of the Moon, Chapter 2)

So here, what M only did was give a comment on L's current case but never participate in the investigations. I want to show that L respects her career, and she, too, respects his boundaries, even if she wants to help. Of course, if she ever did, I imagine with both of their intelligence, the Kira case would be solved maybe much faster (hehe), and maybe we would have an alive L. But no, for my story. I want to aim for the story that was not presented in canon. The scenes of L's private life that did not show in canon but happened simultaneously. Not really canon compliant, but aim to.

Conclusion: Write what you want to write.

Yeah. As I mentioned before, this post is a reminder for myself. Believe in yourself. Trust the plot. Trust the story. Trust how much you invested yourself in this story, and readers could feel that you put a lot of effort into the story and did your homework. There's a lot more I wanted to explore in my current WIP, other than DNverse. Feminism, society issues in Japan, mental health issues, trauma experiences, longing, relationships...etc. Trying to combine them all. And hope for the best.

[landwriter]

WIP Title Ask Game

Tagged by the inimitable @xx-vergil-xx <3

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Listen, we've been here before, but for those who missed or repressed it, all my finished and unfinished fic lives in a single FocusWriter document named Untitled 1 that's about 277,000 words, with an index last updated sometime in late 2022 or early 2023, arranged in a loosely reverse chronological order, with exception for related WIPs and also the Seventies San Francisco AU, Lighthouses, which is between chapters 4 and 5 of Oaths. No, I don't know why I'm this way either.

But I am delighted!! for a chance to shamelessly use this as an excuse to tag people and catch up on what you beautiful souls are writing! (or not writing, as the case may be)

And my own, for asks please send asks:

WIPs I remained acutely aware of who lured me back:

Lighthouses

An Eternity of This

WIPs I absolutely forgot at mental daycare pickup but totally DO want to write and get out there now that I've seen them again:

Professional Fuckers

Skin - 05.14.23

Just Like Love followup that began its life innocently as 'Hob POV missing scenes', caught some more Corinthian scenes due to this very meme on Tumblr, and then like weeds in April exploded beyond all hope into an unhinged noir/dark comedy/tragedy play-it-all-the-way-out Corinthian/Hob/Dream cerberus-monster-of-a-sequel that would be longer than Oaths if I ever wrote it and annoyingly is probably my favourite thing on this list despite the fact I will almost certainly never have the time to actually write it, or maybe because of that :)

You’ve Got Mail AU

Come getcha hot fresh snippets!!!

Tagging with puppydog eyes: @moorishflower @softest-punk @teejaystumbles @wordsinhaled @that-banhus @chubsthehamster

[isfjmel-phleg]

WIP: Sometimes There Are Secrets Trying to Understand People, if you don't mind?

Something came over me a couple weeks ago, and I actually drafted a very faulty, placeholder-ridden bit of a first chapter of this. Here's what I've got! I don't normally write characters that aren't my own, so I feel very hesistant about portrayals here. Maybe I'll get back to this someday. I want it to be a chill, no-pressure project if I do it at all, and right now everything involving writing seems like homework whether I want it to be or not.

The idea of this first chapter would be to address Greta's relationship with Cassie Sandsmark (Wonder Girl). Canonically, Greta was the one who recruited Cassie to the team and tried to make friends with her, but Cassie hit it off with Cissie King-Jones (Arrowette) instead and is also distracted by her crush on Kon, so the Greta-Cassie friendship never really took off. This chapter would force them to spend time together when Greta, with nowhere else to go now that she's been restored to life, has to stay the night at Cassie's house.

That morning, Greta Hayes had woken up [description in detail of life on Apokolips, research later]. She had had no particular plans beyond sending more people on her list to the Abyss—quite a full-time job, because there were so, so many people who had been cruel to her, who deserved exactly what they were about to get. She certainly hadn’t planned to return to Cassie Sandsmark’s house that night. Yet there she sat, in Cassie’s bedroom, on a blue inflatable chair that sank beneath her weight. She had weight now. She had breath. She had a heart that was still trembling after the evening’s events. Greta Hayes was alive. Again. And she had no idea what she was supposed to do about that.

Neither did anyone else. As soon as the amazement of her restoration had worn off, she and her friends had remembered that they all had to go home, and Greta had nowhere to go.

“I could stay at headquarters,” she had offered. It was the closest thing she had had to a place to stay ever since Young Justice had formed. She had a sort of bedroom, and at least she wasn’t entirely alone. Slo-bo lived there too—

—had lived there. And wherever he was now, he wasn’t coming back. That huge old hotel got awfully spooky at night. Normally Greta wouldn’t have minded that; she was spookier than anything that could have lurked in the shadows. But now she was flesh and blood again, and her father was gone, and her mother couldn’t come to her, and she was only—how old was she? She couldn’t remember—with no one in the world on her side except the costumed teenagers surrounding her with concern.

“That [characteristic adjective] place? No way,” said Kon. “You’re coming home with—with Cassie. Right, Cass?”

Cassie had been a little taken aback, but she was the only one there who didn’t have babies to tend to or guardians who had rules against girls spending the night. And that was how Greta had ended up in the Sandsmark house, much to her own and Mrs. Sandsmark’s shock. Cassie had deposited the unexpected visitor in her bedroom while she tried to explain the situation more fully to her mom.

“Dinner’s in half an hour,” Cassie had said before she closed the bedroom door. “You can borrow some of my clothes if you want until you can get your own. I bet you’re just dying to—” She reddened. “I mean, really wanting to get out of those old things. You know, you can wear anything you want now!”

Anything you want.

Greta didn’t know what she wanted. Being alive meant that she would have to make so many more decisions now—and she had always struggled with decisions. Except when she didn’t and then that always turned out…she didn’t want to think about that now. The decision about clothes could wait. Cassie had left her in a room full of the most fascinating things, and Greta couldn’t stop touching them. The rough texture of the thick pink carpet. The smoothness of the inflatable chair that bounced under her. The bumpiness of the speakers on the boombox. The fuzziness of Cassie’s countless stuffed animals. Scents hung in the air: nail polish and violet lotion and stale chips. Greta could inhale it, could handle every object in the room for more than a few moments. She could shake the snowglobe and watch the flakes settle like hourglass sands. She could open the CD cases and smudge the discs with fingerprints if she wasn’t careful. She could get paper-cuts from the magazines.

It was a little overwhelming.

[claudiajcregg]

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

[aniron48]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @anyawen! These were so much fun!

Answers under the cut, and tagging @sweetbabyangels, @mr-iskender, @stinastar, @aprettyspy and @thestalwartheart, in case you haven't done this already and it's of interest!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 30! That number seems astonishing to me now, considering I started writing fic in earnest like a year-and-a-half ago. 😁

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 138,358

3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond, Glass Onion/Knives Out, and I just wrote my first fic for The Old Guard fandom, which has pulled me in by the lapels and refused to let me go. And the very first fic I ever wrote was for Stardew Valley.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. A Good Man (Benoit Blanc/Phillip) 2. rain (00q) 3. open line (00q) 4. The More Loving One (00q) 5. Must Love Cats (00q)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Ok yes I definitely do and I love to *and also* I'm so sorry, I'm 288 days (yes I just checked) behind in responding to comments, because this year has been...something else. So, taking the opportunity to say that a) all of your comments are incredible bright spots for me, and b) I am working my way steadily through and enjoying your comments all over again as I re-read and respond to them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? WELP (eyes my pile o' fics warily). If we go based off the fics with "Major Character Death" as a warning, for a certain value of angst, it's a tie between offering and and the wind at their backs. But both of these fics deal with grief, and the complicated emotions that result from the persistence of love even after the object of that love is gone, and there's some hope in that, too, I think.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? lmao most of the rest of them other than the two in number 6? 😂 this is a hard one to answer, so I'll list my RomCom-iest fics for now (Must Love Cats for 00q and in a space that they belong for The Old Guard). Special shout-out to 'tis the damn season, though, because the happiness at the end of this fic feels like some of the hardest fought, to me, and some of the tenderest I've written, I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No--I've gotten a few less than diplomatic comments, and a couple people making unflattering notes in bookmarks that I don't think they meant for me to see, but nothing terrible.

9. Do you write smut? ::offers you rain and for the age of the earth, and after as if I am a sommelier presenting you with some very fine wine:: "this one has notes of--" you know what I'm just going to stop there.

10. Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, thank goodness (knocks on wood).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! #goals

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Use. Your. Words., which was a collaborative poem for 007 fest 2023. 😁

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? I spent about five minutes hemming and hawing about this but you know what, it's impossible to pick. 😂

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Like Anyawen, I have aspirations of finishing all the ones hanging out in my Scrivener app...someday. Probably the one I have the most doubts about is a 5 + 1 fic where Bond tries out different activities post retirement. I still love the idea and some of the vision I had for this one, but it lives almost entirely in my head, still.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think maybe I have a good ear for language, both in terms of the rhythm of sentences and paragraphs, and for conveying a character's voice or accent. But it's hard to assess your own strengths, sometimes, so that's just my best guess!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm actively working on trying to be better at descriptions, especially in giving details about setting or background. I realized I give these things short shrift, sometimes, and want to change that!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll do it with languages I'm fluent in (and have done it with Spanish, since I'm a native speaker).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Stardew Valley, in What Dreams May Come.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Omg, another one that is almost impossible to answer! I think I have to go with all the flags we've hung. This is one of my least popular fics--it's a rarepair, the love depicted in it is complicated (though no less real), and it deals with light topics like, you know, structural racism in the United States. As one does. But it's a fic that's incredible close to my heart, for many reasons, and I remain so proud of this one.

Phew! If you have read all of this you deserve a cupcake. 💜

xoxo, Ani