#I've been having a great time but part of that is the inherent charm in his devil's saddle news clip upload

[falderaletcetera]

okay who wants a fucking great country-ish song about the 401 highway, apparently the busiest highway in both canada and the US and an absolute nightmare to drive on?

(because I didn't think I needed this but apparently really do, and it has single-digit likes on youtube, so I figure it can stand to be seen by more people.)

this guy has minimal online presence and only two songs actually for sale anywhere but @darkfinch managed to find this, which has some info and songs on it.

and now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go relisten, because this song goes hard and is quite happily stuck in my head <3

~

lyrics:

this is a long highway and it might take a day to drive from detroit back to montreal where the big rigs roll down through ontario and cars go speeds they should never go (never go, never go) take a look ahead flashing lights of red another crash out on the blacktop run on the news it says another driver's dead that brings the toll this month to twenty one (twenty one, twenty one) I took a ride today out on the king's highway from montreal to toronto bay justice will have its day with your life you'll pay better pay heed, so the people say keep your hands at ten and two do what you have to do keep them there until the drive is done or you may walk this road a lost and lonely soul another death out on the 401

just between you and I how can you justify the life you took with the pedal down (pedal down, pedal down) the ghosts they roam the road looking for their home and if they spoke you never hear the sound (sound, sound) I took a ride today out on the king's highway from montreal to toronto bay justice will have its day with your life you'll pay better pay heed, so the people say keep your hands at ten and two do what you have to do keep them there until the drive is done or you may walk this road a lost and lonely soul another death out on the 401 another death out on the 401

~

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Great BLs That Are REALLY hard to find (but worth tracking down)

You may want to go hunting anyway!

Seven Days

Seven Days: Monday-Thursday

Seven Days: Friday-Sunday

Japan 2015

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

Cherry Magic AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii

Japan 2020

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great.

Cherry Magic Thailand

Thai 2024

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. I personally like it slightly better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. Also all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be from Thailand.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Thai 2023

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

All about the ecstasy and the agony here.

Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Japan 2020

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning.

Given

Japan 2021

Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The singing is terrible, fast forward through that but with the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either.

Make a Wish

Thai 2023

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who tf cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and all the swagger. The cast is excellent even if the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. Definitely recommended.

2 Moons The Ambassador AKA 2 Moons 3

Thai 2022

A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs prior, with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and satisfying to watch than they started out. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples. All that said, I find this show oddly appealing and rewatchable and I have no excuses for that except, I enjoyed it probably more than it deserved. Nostalgia & d**k, it's what's for dinner.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai

Japan 2022

This is a beautiful well acted piece of cinema, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura pines after outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no). If you want something stylish, this is it.

Triage

Thai 2022

BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for the doctor! Unfortunately... stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikable, as required). If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show.

HONORABLE MENTION

Great Men Academy

Thai 2019

Bodyswap involving unicorns turning a teenage girl into a boy makes this questionable as a BL (because, ya know, gender). But the fact remains that James is killer in the lead, and I (who do not like bodyswap) loved this damn show. Look, there is actual plot, hotties at boarding school, "bully the one you love" trope, some weird VR shit, very bad CGI, and yes, the boys end up together... whether they boys or not, so to speak.

Some of these shows may appear on a smaller streaming service, like WeTV, or they may be on a legal platform in your territory. I hope it goes without saying you should check there first.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that went missing (or was added to a platform) after that date.

It's it last in a series the rest of which are:

[hermajestyimher]

Individuality Series Part I: Do You Really Need That Relationship to be Happy?

It seems like for many the thought of living life without a companion by their side, even if for a short period of time, is unbearable. And it's hard to blame them for it. From birth, we are bombarded by society to believe that we must be inadequate if we don't pursue romantic relationships and prioritize them in our lives. This is especially true for women and girls.

I am here to tell you that not only is there nothing wrong with singleness, but it can actually be a blessing in disguise.

I've always been an individual, since childhood I've stood out from the crowd, and while like many other children my age I daydreamed of fantasies of being with prince charming and what my life may look like as I grew up with a boyfriend and later husband, dating was never at the forefront of my life growing up. Now, as a young adult who is working very hard to make a name for herself, I've come to realize that much of the pressure we often put on ourselves to be in a relationship is unnecessary and quite frankly, toxic.

Not only is today's dating scene completely awful in many ways - especially for women with high standards for themselves and others - but the hyper fixation we often times give to having a partner often times derails us from our long-term goals and puts us in situations that can potentially harm us n many ways. From STDs, unwanted pregnancies, soul ties, abuse, and control, or simply bad influencing from someone we consider a romantic partner, giving our time, space, and body to those who do not deserve is a recipe for disaster.

There is power in solitude and individuality. There is power in having a clear focus on the things we want out of life and finding joy outside of romantic relationships. Life is full of so many beautiful experiences awaiting for us to tune into them, but we need to have a clear and clean state of mind to do so, and this is impossible when all our attention goes towards trying to impress and be with people who can only push us down.

This isn't to say that romantic relationships are inherently harmful - far from it. But for those who are interested in being in one, it's always best to allow them to develop naturally when you least expect it. To ensure that you aren't desperate to be in one and end up settling for people you know are not a good fit for the sake of being in one.

When you are secure in yourself and you know you don't need someone to be happy and feel fulfilled, is when you can allow those who are truly great for you into your life at the right time.

[pbear]

One thing I've always felt about Miraculous is that it has good potential and the ideas are there but they're not developed in the right ways that make it a good series. After watching the movie, I just felt it even more.

The animation. Gorgeous. Looking at this movie felt good.

The songs. Not great. Especially since they didn't get Cristina Vee to sing (why?). They weren't bad songs but they weren't anything special to me. Although, I did like how the song about Marinette first becoming Ladybug was to the tune of the theme song.

I've seen so many people saying how Movie!Gabriel is better than Show!Gabriel and they're right. I felt like I got his motivation a little better from the scenes where he remembers Emilie.

Master Fu is so extra in this. It's funny.

I'm not sure how I felt about Tikki and Plagg running off to find their own users. In the show, I liked that Master Fu chose Marinette and Adrien after they showed him kindness (and that happens with Marinette), but I also do like that these mystical creatures have their own judgment on who holds their power.

Honestly, more Alya and Nino wanted. More of Marinette and Adrien in their everyday lives instead of as superheroes would have been interesting too.

Definitely more magical aspects to the powers of the Miraculous. Like, that yo-yo was dragging Marinette everywhere before she had control over it. Cat Noir didn't show as much as that which was something I liked from the show. That Adrien felt more comfortable in the superhero role before Marinette.

Also, NO LUCKY CHARM????

We saw Cataclysm once, although it didn't work out in their favor and Ladybug fixed everything at the end but I was waiting on that Lucky Charm.

Also, no Chat Noir transformation sequence. I would have liked if he got at least one dramatic one like Ladybug.

Bro, they're finally equals and working as partners and that's the importance of taking down villains is to work together. The show could never.

The intro painted the Butterfly miraculous as inherently evil which I get because you need it for the plot. But I always believed that the Miraculous were powerful objects and that one is not evil or good. It depends on the person wielding it whether that power is used for good or bad.

The movie shows you can have a satisfying reveal without needing over a hundred episodes for it.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It summed up the parts I liked about the show and put them together nicely. The show isn't bad. The biggest problem I have with it is that it's unsatisfying because everything is drawn out and it feels like we're going nowhere at times. That's why I dropped it so to be fair I cannot speak on most of season 5.

I don't know if we'll get another movie like this one (the ending suggested something). I don't think we need one if we don't because this wrapped things up well.

[leagueofgardens]

Assault Lily × Ludvico Private Girls' Academy: The Blade of Truth

For obvious reasons, I'm not writing the full title of the play.

Ever since The Gleam of Dawn had its run earlier this year, my opinion has been that it was the best individual one of the Assault Lily stage plays, but the Ludvico quartet (in their revival versions when those existed) are the best series. And though The Blade of Truth was by no means bad and a worthy finale to the series, my opinion hasn't changed.

Extensive spoilers for the play below. Don't click unless you want to be spoiled! (Also, I talk about death, so a content warning for that.)

The Blade of Truth is actually the only one of the Ludvico stage plays that I've watched the original 2019 performance of, because there was no alternative at the time I was first watching the series. It was… okay. Definitely rough compared to the revivals, but I wasn't sure how much of it was inherent and how much was because of the lower budget those plays were working with.

It turns out that at least a little of it was inherent, but I'll focus on what was good first.

BoT 2023 (I'll abbreviate it as that from now on) was excellently produced. Assault Lily's stage tradition of projecting video onto the stage came out crystal clear, for nearly the first time ever, and was used to great effect every scene it happened in.

Though the choreography wasn't quite as fancy as The Gleam of Dawn's, it was frequently impressive, and the playwright/director duo of Sakuragi Sayaka and Hayashi Shuuji elevated their trademark of simultaneous scenes to new heights by occasionally having important conversations take place on one half of the stage while battles occurred on the other.

The story was an improvement over the 2019 version with a variety of small changes to the script, and possibly also thanks to the years of extra experience the actresses and staff have. Asahi and Nagisa were adorable together, the flashback scenes with Kazane made her feel less like just Mirai #2, Ichika and Karen both got even cooler, Himari was a lot more likeable, and Nonoka's scenes were somehow even funnier.

In the back half, Professor Amamiya "installing" himself into Kosaka the same way various other characters have makes a lot more sense than the 2019 version's brain transplant. I feel really bad for Kosaka, since she seems to momentarily regain her original personality just before she dies… well, no one ever said Assault Lily stories have happy endings for everyone.

Also, Pius seems to have mostly recovered from whatever issue they had in 2022 where the stage cameras and microphones precipitously dropped in quality (maybe Bushiroad gave them loaners and took them back when they pulled out of the Assault Lily project?)

What wasn't so great? Well, it's an ongoing thing with the Ludvico series, but the plain-looking hairstyles/costumes and boring CHARMs are disappointing coming from the other stage plays. They provide the advantage that they avoid having the occasional ugly-as-sin wig (like Kasumiko's in The Gleam of Dawn,) but I wish the crew had at least used different shades of natural hair so the characters are easier to tell apart. I don't see why Yuko couldn't be a blonde and so forth.

In BoT 2023, a reasonable amount of characters have custom CHARMs (or at least less common ones like Kazane's Triglav,) but I'll be quite happy if I never see another Dainsleif Carbine or Gungnir Carbine again in my life.

I'm still not a fan of The Blade of Truth's plot, particularly the second half. I've always been disappointed by Assault Lily's dull villains and feel that Toda Kotohi is the only one, in any part of the media mix, who's genuinely a great character. A bunch of nuns and Kosaka-sensei repeatedly screaming "This is for the good of humanity!" haven't changed my mind on that.

The fights were really cool, and Makabe and Kosaka in particular have their moments, but I wish we knew more about what they were actually trying to accomplish instead of them just seeming crazy.

While Sakuragi may have felt she couldn't make a change that drastic to the script in a revival, I think Ichika should have died when Makabe shot her. It really undermined the impact of that moment when she was just fine later, and more broadly I feel that Assault Lily's aversion to allowing even a single Lily to die in the present clashes badly with how its strongest plotlines are based on the deaths of characters in the past, like Mirai.

If Yuria had died in the previous Ludvico play, that would be fine too. Just kill someone. Anyone!

I feel very edgy saying that, but I really believe AL tests the limits of our disbelief with how everything, all of a sudden, always turns out just fine for the Lilies. (Unless you're a teacher, in which case you have a 75% chance of dying horribly.)

Anyway. BoT 2023 is a solid play, not the best Assault Lily stage play and not the best Ludvico one either (I think that's probably Schwester's Secret), but well worth watching. Don't miss it… though it's a little late to say that now.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e8 time for a wedding! (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

i read a summary of all the becky episodes after seeing the first one. had some feelings (derogatory) about previous episodes. i was dreading this one

okay i got a question about "guano". every time they use this word i have to do a little mental lookup. is there a region in the US that uses guano regularly for going batshit/insane etc? i haven't lived everywhere but i have lived in the southwest, west, upper midwest, miami (lol it's its own region) and new england. and i don't remember ever hearing it said by anyone. john was in the military, was it something from him? anyway. stalling!

WAITRESS Yeah, okay. You came in here looking like somebody shot your puppy. DEAN Well, things are looking up now that your shift's over. All right. Uh, here's the deal. I have this friend. He's got this younger brother. Right? Cannon's a little loose. You know, his reactor blew a while back. It's not good. Um... My friend – he's, uh... He's kind of been sitting, waiting to see if he goes guano again. WAITRESS And I assume it just hit the fan? DEAN Well, that's the thing. It didn't. The kid's all reasonable now, considering he's crazy. Well, he's – I mean, he's not crazy. He – he's starting to seem like things might be getting a little better. WAITRESS Well, that's a good thing, right? DEAN It's a freakin' miracle. Except... when it happens during their, uh... their sacred annual pilgrimage to Vegas... and he goes off on some granola-munching hike in the desert by himself.

WAITRESS Well, maybe he just needs some time alone. DEAN Yeah. WAITRESS We all need to face ourselves sometime. DEAN Maybe he does. WAITRESS Wasn't talking about him. DEAN Speak of the devil. He's four blocks away? WAITRESS See? Baby bro needs you after all.

(of course, forever and ever amen.) when a stranger can diagnose and therapize you in 60 seconds flat. what a lot of backstory and happenings got dumped in that conversation. a yearly vacation, sam bailing to go vacation alone in the wilderness.

the way his hair is falling it looks like the mutant sideburns suddenly gained a lot ground 😂 (stalling)

how does his hair look so different every episode?

okay, leslie odom jr. i know the name, i've never seen/or listened to hamilton but i gather that's what he's known for? (i love music but don't vibe with musicals generally) i did watch smash though and he was in that, and the second knives out movie. shame he got stuck in this episode.

smash s2e1 on broadway - leslie odom jr as sam strickland

ok extra dumb murder of the week. splatting a dude's face with the baseball pitching machine

(live reaction)

SAM You know, I went after her, Dean. Maybe that's what's bugging you – that I'm moving on with my life. I mean, you took care of me, and that's great. But I don't need you anymore.

having an actress that's about the same age as dean play becky, and having her act so juvenile... it's just all bad and insulting and weird. and then adding in the inherent joke she is about fans... will i save the noncon rant for later? ha ha she raped him too right? heavy sigh

cannot figure out what i know him from. maybe the core?? but also he was a one-off in episodes of a lot of shows i've seen and he has such a distinctive face, i think it might be one of those i think is more familiar but really isn't. also maybe the movie roadtrip? which is so very much not my kind of movie but i definitely have seen it.

having garth be incompetent as a hunter is... again, a choice.

the core (2003) dj qualls as rat

now they tell us there was no sex. see it's funny, guys! just the drugging and the concussion and the tying up and gagging.

GUY Yes! And I'm very protective of my ass. It's one of my best features.

he's so charming in this part. say again it's a shame he got stuck in this episode

you know. it's not just the writing and the styling of becky. but the way she plays her... it's like every moment she's just making fun of a certain type of person.

crowley, sight for sore eyes

SAM Becky, look. You're not a loser, okay? You're a good person, a-and you've got… a lot of… e-energy. So, you know, just do your thing, whatever that is, and the right guy will find you.

no. *gets out the squirt bottle*

was this all just to have some goofy bonding experience to mend things after The Incident with the stabbing and the lying (mutton chop status 66%)

SAM Look, man, uh... When I was all dosed up, I-I said some crap. DEAN Oh, you mean, she – she wasn't your soulmate?

no, because dean is sam's soulmate duh. lol this show. sometimes i'll just be sitting here and think "canonical soulmates" and boggle all over again

SAM Shut up. I mean, I do need you watching my back. Obviously. DEAN Yeah, when, uh, crazy groupies attack.

DEAN I'm just saying. It's stupid to think that you need me around all the time. You're a grown-up. SAM Right.

SAM I mean, you basically have been looking out for me your whole life. Now you finally get to take care of yourself. About time, huh? DEAN Yeah. DEAN Right.

haha this is like, straight out of fic. both of them "ha ha you don't need me anymore :D" and they're both😟

made it through. they really like to shove good brother content into bad episodes, like Bugs.

[goblin-enjoyer]

Uh homestuck review type thingy before i go to bed.

reading homestuck has definitely been a trip. having to deal with and figure out how to work with some signs of old internet age, despite using the collection. trying to download some kind of app only for it to work worse than the main one. having to go to the original site as some of the more special links didn't work on the unofficial collection. having to sync up music. all these and probably more I had to deal with to read homestuck. definitely got me more invested ill tell you that much! liked a decent chunk of the humor, disliked another decent chunk of it as well, am neutral on other jokes n' such. some of the stuff early on doesn't age well but it gets better the farther you get in. the 4th wall stuff and all the non main story stuff swung a pendulum (hekekkek) between very fun and enjoyable to grading and annoying. I liked most of the characters though a few I wish got more screentime and interactions and a few I wish were a bit less president in some parts. the "shipping" stuff was inherently confusing and at times annoying for me, nothing stable, often felt like some pairings, both friend and relation ship, could be in the forefront in one part but then completely dissipate over a timeskip. though i will admit i did get somewhat interested at around the end when things were starting to get more stable. (favorite pairings friendship or relationship go as follows: terezi and dave. some of my favorite characters with a great dynamic, really wish they got to interact more, even after the offscreen hook up and break up. > Rose and Kanaya. great solid pairing to the end! also could have used a bit more time for development, but overall better off than most. they work really well as a dynamic duo. > John and Vriska. eh I could take or leave the relationship but I did like their friendship and wish their interactions didn't end so abruptly as they did) Speaking of confusing things, time travel. I feel like that and the fact that this is a early to mid 2010s webcomic should clue you in to how confusing this aspect can be at times.

Overall thoughts: I liked quite a bit of it, though I also disliked a decent few chunks of it. unlike most things I cant quite say I'm neutral on homestuck. not actively positive, yet not actively negative. but I still have some feelings on the thing, I just cant really make them out as the line between "thing I like enough to start putting the characters in situations" and "thank goodness I'm finally done with this piece of crap". Would I recommend reading it, even if you get it working better than I can? no, not at all. Did I enjoy reading it? other than a few issues, Yes! it was fun to read and experience, a real bit of ancient internet history and time capsule from right around the time i was first exploring the internet as a wee unknowing child of roughly 7-13. despite not going around that area much at the time, it still felt a bit nostalgic reading an mspaint internet comic from that era. an enjoyable romp threw a time before the internet was as part of daily life as it is today, while not quite being from back from the dawn of the thing. Reading homestuck definitely had me in awe with hindsight at times with finding out how deep its roots were in the internet. I will never roam the internet the same way again. but i think I've rattled on about homestuck being stuck in that sweet spot of old internet for too long so ill try and give my summarizing words here without going off on side rambles for too long, its like 2:30 am and i should probably try and get my sleep schedule back after having it messed up for like a week. (thank you eternally obnoxious BRAIN. and to a lesser extent the new world of warcraft expansion and homestuck cliffhangers)

Summary of sorts: I wouldn't call homestuck "good" but I wouldn't call it "bad" either. It is confusing, annoying and doesn't work half the time but when it does it oozes with charm, humorous bits that can crack open the core of anyone who likes older memes and internet humor and great music that gets stuck in playlists but not in your head. (in a good way) I would not recommend reading it as it takes time, effort and patience for a variety of things as well as a high tolerance for a bunch of stuff I'm getting to tired to mention. but i am glad I experienced it and I doubt you would too if you did dropkick my and many others warnings into a ditch and read the accursed thing. heck your on tumblr, you probably already accustomed to humor like that in homestuck! I don't know how to finish this so here's a funny skeleton gif to tide yall over as I go spellcheck everything and go write the tags.

[firecoloredwater]

🥺🎢💖👀😬 for the ask game? -💙

<3 <3 <3 Thank you!

...you know it'd help if my computer would actually display all of these emojis. Luckily my phone does so cross referencing time!

(...oh yeah that length thing.)

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

...I can point at it but I'm not sure how to put it into words, but: people understanding and caring about each other, not because they Just Get It When No One Else Does, but because they're okay with not getting it so long as they know what the other person wants/needs.

Also people prioritizing each other in unconventional ways and despite not being expected to. (Whiiiich mostly means 'while not in a romantic or parent/child relationship.')

Basically I like it when characters are important to and care about each other (especially in ways that are very specific to the characters and not culturally standardized), but I want it to be... organic isn't a good word; I like when characters click and I like when they've built something powerful over time, but I very strongly prefer that they could have built something equally good and strong and valuable with other people if they'd made different choices/the situation had been different (or maybe even they have! I love when characters have multiple strong and different relationships), and I tend to be :/ about anything that feels too much like Destined One True Love No One Else Will Ever Love Or Understand You Like This.

(Except that I do enjoy soulmate fics. I am vast and bewildering to myself as well. Although I like a lot of tropes that make things I am otherwise uncomfortable with explicit and a major part of the worldbuilding.)

It's also very easy to get me with characters that are... hm, not rejected entirely, but conditionally tolerated? "You're weird and annoying/otherwise disliked, but you're useful, so we'll be polite, but you're only welcome so long as you're being useful, not as a friend or anything." Or characters that have internalized the idea that they're only acceptable to the extent that they're useful.

Also it's not exactly feels, but I love snarky characters and good banter.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

...hard to say, but it's probably a Girl Genius fic. That fandom is just wild inherently.

I think if I'd gotten very far with it Yet To Be A Legend probably would have won, since it was meant to be Agatha POV as she broke through and learned that she was a Heterodyne while escaping/adventuring through the wastelands. Buuuut it only got two chapters, so that didn't really happen.

As it is, Somebody Else's Dream might win, because while the actual in-story emotional arc is pretty standard, the context is... I believe @songwithnosoul called it "a charming tale of kidnapping and coercion" and, well, yeah. Yeah. Girl Genius is Like That.

💖 What made you start writing?

Genuinely no idea. The first story I remember writing (outside of school assignments) was because I wanted a character who had escaped her abusive family in canon (Menolly, for those who know Pern) to go home and Show Them All how great she was so they would be forced to recognize how wrong they'd been about her and feel bad about it. So I just started writing it, with full plans to mail it to the author, be praised for how great it was, and have it officially published as part of the canon, because I did not yet know what fandom or fanfic was and thought I was the first person to ever have this idea.

(Luckily I was about 10-11 and abandoned it after about a page and a half, or else Anne McCaffrey, the canon author, would still be suing me.)

I'm pretty sure I'd been writing before that, though, so I have absolutely no idea where it started. It's just a thing I've Always Done, which is actually very inexplicable since my family is fully STEM-oriented and all encouragement was toward Being A Scientist. I was an obsessive reader as a kid though (like, I recall being about 8-9 and being able to read while I walked through the hallways between classes, because I would not put books down even that long), so writing was probably a result of that somehow.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Currently all my writing energy is going into either original(ish) stuff or Blessed Sacrifice AU (cowritten with @denialcity/@codedredalert, Naruto Founders "hey what if we took this ship-enabling trope and went WAY into the deep end of worldbuilding and consequences for it? ooh look, a shiny supernatural idea--").

I don't want to get very spoilery, but I'm slowly working on a few side fics (oneshots probably, with another POV, but no major plot developments/not actually necessary to read to know what's going on in the main fics), one from each of Izuna's parents' POVs.

There's also the (not yet titled) next main fic in the series, which will be Tobirama's POV (ooor maybe shared with other Senju), and get into how other clans view the Uchiha and their whole Thing with red-eyed people and yomotsu-shikome. Also Uzumaki religion!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

*sliiiiides the 45k of problematic city alpha/omega AU behind a curtain*

I feel the need to specify: the alpha/omega is not the source of any of the problematicness. The characters are just awful all on their own. If anything they're actually less problematic in the alpha/omega AU.

Anyway though that one's not getting posted, so really if my... okay well basically all my friends are in fandom one way or another and have probably been linked to my AO3 at some point, that's not saying much.

But if family/coworkers somehow found my AO3, ehhhh whatever. I don't really write smut so, I guess there's the dramatic sort of poetry from when I was 15? But nothing is particularly embarrassing or more personal than People I Know Reading My Writing is in general. If anything family reading my fanfic might be less awkward than them reading my original writing, because the canon provides a bit more interference between me and whatever they read.

Thank you again!

[gold-pavilion]

Red-san お疲れさまでした! ♡

Enjoy your days off as much as possible and rest a lot!!

For the ask, I have two things in mind hehe I hope you don't mind! You don't have to super deep analyze it (if you don't want to), it's more like your opinion.

First, I've just finished marathoning bsd manga, anime, spin offs, novels, fics lol, and I'm in a BIG Chuuya mood and as I also know he's your favourite, I was wondering what your fav canon moments of him are! Like, scenes that most caught your attention or something.

Thank you Anne-san!! Oh don't worry, that's perfect!!

This is one of those things where Chuuya being a side character in the grand scheme of the mainline story (not the novels, ofc, where he gets his protagonic time) is actually nice, cause it makes each of his appearances SO significative. Thinking of each time he's appeared in the manga/anime, each of them has a huge significance in regards to his character, so I love all the moments dfgfdhfg.

The first encounter with Dazai, when he's captured by Port Mafia, introduces the character interestingly but ALSO shows a great deal of the back and forth they've got together, Chuuya knowing that Dazai is underhanded and tricky, Dazai preparing plans cause he just adores messing with Chuuya, plus their banter and inside jokes (the 'rich lady Chuuya' bit).

The brief moment at the end of season 1 where all he does it stand there and bow down to Mori as mafia leader, showing that rowdy guy we've just met as humble and respectful before his superior.

That time where he meets the ADA for negotiations during the 3-part conflict with the Guild, where he's just charming as HELL, approaching the others with such confidence and carrying out his negotiation orders to the T cause as much as it's not his intel work, he follows orders phenomenally.

The brief appearance where he's helping protect civilians along with the rest of the mafia while the city is in chaos over the effect of Q.

And at that, the small scene where he's speaking with Mori about fallen mafia comrades and how much that stings for them both to see!

His drink and cheers with Kouyou and Mori at the end of season 2, showing his relaxed demeanor in down time with his coworkers n family.

His moment as interim mafia boss in season 3!! It's such a power moment, as well as heart-warming to see him operate with his beloved organization in Mori's stead, plus how funny his showdown with Ranpo is.

Of course, can't forget about his stellar participation in Dead Apple, from the amazing battle scene to the lil moment with Akutagawa to everything between him and Dazai.

And the yet-to-be-animated helicopter rescue, around when the Hunting Dogs first appear in the manga!! I've pointed that as my favorite manga panel of him, having such a TIME fighting and letting his passionate character shine through.

Every time Chuuya has appeared, his time has been anything but wasted. He's always having amazing character moments, he's utilized carefully and fantastically in that way.

But if I were to pick, I'm going with the entirety of the season 2 Double Black episode and its manga equivalent. That moment of Q's rescue where Chuuya threatens to kill him, testing and mocking Dazai's new morals in the process as well as keeping steadfast on his own, even though the thought of "his comrades in bodybags" tests his patience... followed by the first use of Corruption, it's just unforgettable. Corruption is the peak display of Chuuya's character to me, the abandon and dedication that's so inherent to his nature, the trust in Dazai that can never be buried away and, of course, the amazing visuals of that moment (I'm a sucker for fucked up powers and his slashed pupils and the pattern on his skin drive me nuts HAHA).

[momtaku]

i feel like one of the biggest issues in the levi fandom in general all comes down to superbowl. i know you're convinced you're right which is cool. but i've read many different metas and takes and i have to say all of them are pretty well supported too. in my honest opinion, i truly think it could go either way. the way u view the super bowl really defines how you view eruris relationship. i just wish people could accept that. we have peoples on both side claiming theyre 100% right and there’s no other way to view it, both using parts of interviews and smartpasses that appeal to them. i wonder why it’s so hard to understand that isym left it so vague that it could go either way. eruris devotion is not as “obvious” as you claim. before stumbling across your blog i didn’t even think it was that significant a relationship. i cant deny it now but i wonder why it’s so hard for you or tsuki to get that not everyone is going to agree with your takes just because you think it’s textually supported. there’s soo many fans who watch the show and have no idea eruri is a thing until they join the fandom. it doesn’t make them stupid it just means we took different things from the manga. for some the devotion was plain obvious, for others it wasn’t. for some the devotion is interesting, for others it isn’t. why not just accept that?

Oh god please don’t lump Tsuki in with the likes of me 😂 What I am about to say about Tsuki has a Disclaimer for mistakes and misinterpretation because what follows are my thoughts about her--but I’d say her bias is best summed up as “the intricacies and possibilities of language”. If you’ve perceived a ship bias on her blog, I think it’s more that she sometimes pushes back on mistranslations she sees. She takes translation more seriously than anyone I’ve met. She’d rather lose an arm than contribute to a false narrative running loose in the wild. She realizes translation is a powerful weapon and wants it wielded fairly.  For instance, one thing she’s expressed to me is that the Japanese ship fandoms are usually careful to preface “this is one way you can read this”, but when those thoughts come over to tumblr it becomes “this is the only way to read this.” I think that bothers Tsuki both because it’s unfair to the language she loves and to those who don’t speak it. And argh... let me just toss heart eyes all over tsuki. I really appreciate what she does. Helpful fandom translators are a gift. I appreciate that she’s open to eruri and levihan. I respect that she enjoys both ships and can see both sides. She’s not the enemy here. She’s helped me be more balanced and fair. 

But otherwise this is such a good ask and I agree with much of what you're saying.  I want to be clear that I don’t see it as my job to convince people. I'm not writing for that reason. I'm offering a viewpoint, so I'm not pressed or bothered by the existence of other viewpoints. I'm happy they exist because thinking about things from various angles has benefitted me and is a great way to consume media.

I make it clear on my about page that I write my opinions and not the canon thoughts of Hajime Isayama. My blog description plainly states my shipping bias. With me you can say the ingredients are clearly on the tin.  I don’t try to hide that. There's not a lot that ruffles my feathers in fandom but I will say that when I happen upon "unbiased" meta writers I do sigh deeply. We all have biases and like it or not it’s obvious to anyone reading. 

I will say at this point though in the manga there are topics where I'm done looking at all the angles. I've followed the snk meta community for 7 years. I've been open minded. I've read everything there is to read and spent my time examining my ideas to see how they hold up. I've changed my mind on plenty of topics because of this. My shipping preference being one of those actually. My words probably have a level of confidence that they didn't in my early meta writing days. So yeah, there are topics where I think I am 100% right, but the important point is I don’t call anyone else 100% wrong. I don’t take potshots at other shipping communities. 

I think the main thing I’d push back on from your ask is that I’d say the way people define serum bowl is less about how you view Eruri and more how you view Erwin himself. At least that's what I've seen. Erwin’s negative qualities are a starting point for many. In sports terms I’d say it’s like some people automatically handicap him at -20 and he has to pull out from there. Part of that may be the anime’s harsher portrayal. I’ve heard some say his trope is one they don’t like. Others admit to an inherent bias against strong male authority figures. As you say, we all see things differently. We all bring baggage and bias into what we read. Cultural bias is there as well. Some themes go down better with certain audiences. Erwin being viewed as a cold emotionless leader who wrongly hid his motivations is a largely Western read. Some of Tsuki’s writings have touched on this.  I’ll link to a few if you want to read more: cultural consideration about Erwin in general, chapter 72 from a cultural lens and a Japanese article on Erwin’s charms.

Regarding your last sentence, I don’t know what you want me to accept here.  As I said initially, I’m not interested in convincing anyone. I don’t think anyone is stupid for thinking differently. I’m writing for me. I’m writing for anyone who wants to read my thoughts. The anons I get have asked for my opinion so I share that with them. I’m sorry if this frustrates you. 

One thing I’ve been told is unique to the AoT community is the prevalence of meta writers and the authority they wield. Basically the criticism is that meta writers are the BNFs and not the artists and fic writers. I haven’t been in many communities so I can’t say if that’s true, but the idea has always bothered me. My meta is opinion and bias spoken in a (hopefully) coherent and entertaining way. It’s to be read, weighed and then discarded as a reader forms their own opinions. If I haven’t made that clear enough, I am now.

Thanks for the ask and the discussion it opened up.

[resinatingbeauty]

Witchcraft & Expectations

What do you really expect from the Craft?

I had considered writing this for a while before actually doing it just because I didn't want anyone to feel like they were being attacked or singled out. Offending you isn't the purpose of this post, so please do not be discouraged by anything you read here. There is no wrong way of practicing your Craft and to each their own. I was just curious about perspectives when it comes to your expectations regarding Witchcraft, magick, and spirituality as I have dealt with many different people following many different paths since focusing more on my Craft and art through my shop which began on Mercari and grew enough to become more established on Etsy.

I do sell many spiritual / witchy items from personalized spell kits to witchy mystery boxes compiled with Intuitively chosen and my own handmade, one of a kind items. Among the most popular spiritual offerings are my 'buy one get one miniature spell jars,' which allow my customers to select two general purposes or a personalized request from which I assemble and enchant a miniature glass spell jar containing herbs, crystals, essential oils, and other objects based on their needs and requests. I wanted to make these little portable vessel talismans more available to everyone price and purpose wise, compared to others that have been charged with a more specific intent or devoted to a specific deity.

I have a long history of using spell jars myself for various purposes whenever I feel compelled to create one or a special occasion arises. I'm picky about larger jars and bottles, however, so they are usually created in small corked jars or in larger jars that I will sometimes embellish or try new things to integrate that allow the spell jar to also be an appealing or intriguing piece of handmade everyday decor while serving its spiritual purpose, such as the one in the photo above.

For the most part, I have found a surprisingly amount of success with my spell jars. Not just myself, but others as well have reported events that they thought were directly related to their spell jar. I had created one for my neighbor a couple weeks ago who had been searching for a better job than the one she had at a preschool. The day after I gave her the jar, she received a text from an old coworker who notified her that a position at a bank she had applied at months ago that had nothing available at that time had just opened up.

This actually exceeded my expectations. In my experience, magick takes time. Others who have commented on the success of their spell jars or magick in general would contact me a few weeks or so after using their spell kit or receiving their spell jar. I created a spell jar back in January to help jumpstart my small business selling my crafts and Craft and didn't really start to see a huge change until mid-March-April where I was more successful than even I anticipated.

This was about on par with what I expected in terms of time, as most spells I've ever done have taken days, weeks, or even months to start manifesting results that couldn't be passed off or ignored. To be sure, I include a scroll with each of my kits and jars explaining how they are best utilized, to have patience, how to set a purpose and intentions, the power of thinking positively, and that magick rewards those who are willing to work and make sacrifices for what they desire. To me, all of these things are virtues that this path teaches us and are part of what makes the Craft so empowering overall. Whether it was the spell or your hard work, you are the catalyst for change. You made things happen. I mean, what is more empowering than that?

This is part of the reason why I personally chose to over spell kits and magickal tools rather than offering to cast spells or perform rituals on one's behalf. It was my desire to make YOU feel empowered and you are the one ultimately responsible for your own success or failure, whether spiritually or otherwise. I'll gladly steer you down the road of success and provide you with my knowledge, experience, and guidance, but I am always clear about what to expect.

Unfortunately, we live in a time where instant gratification is anticipated and expected, which I never considered in terms of Witchcraft. I knew that no matter how many times I write 'set realistic expectations, focus on your purpose, be patient, and keep doing what your doing' that some people would just blow through all that hoping that they just bought a quick fix for all their problems for $6.99 + a buy one get one deal.

Two weeks or so ago, I had received an order for said jars from a young man who simply said he wanted a personalized spell jar for lucid dreaming and dream work and selected his second 'free' one for self empowerment. I reached out to clarify and answered some of his questions. My immediate impression from him was one of discord. He expressed a lot of turmoil in his life over the past few months and claimed to have taken on a lot of responsibility. He seemed young and eager, with a ton of questions regarding magick in general. I answered his questions the best I could, but reiterated the same values I expressed in the previous paragraph when asked why such and such spell wasn't working, 'should I not have done this,' etc. Magick takes time to manifest, especially when it comes to financial purposes like he explained which are inherently unlikely to resolve themselves overnight.

He seemed happy enough with his purchase and said as much when he received his package. A couple days later, I received a notification about a review he had left which was negative, saying one of his spell jars didn't work with a message delivered in tandem asking what purpose I had set for his spell jar.

Let me say this: I am not upset with him or complaining about his review. He is entitled to his own opinion, although I was annoyed with how quickly he had come to the conclusion when in the instructions I provided him I specifically said that these things take time to work. Anyone who receives results instantly or within the next day or so are exceeding my own expectations. Which is great! Hooray!

But this is definitely not the standard I've come to expect in all the years I've been practicing the Craft.

I continued chatting with and answering this young man's questions and ultimately uncovered that he was upset about a variety of things that had been going on in his life. In his mind, he felt entitled to have these things work for him sooner rather than later and was frustrated and angry that nothing he tried had been working out the way he expected.

In the time that I have opened my little shop, I have (thankfully) only run into one other person like this- where their understanding of Witchcraft seems to have been compiled from television and movies. After the first, I learned to tread lightly around these individuals because, whether it's their fault or not, they have been mislead.

Television shows like old school Charmed and the newer Salem and Witches of East End are really entertaining. I enjoyed watching them, but they are the absolute enemy of those who practice magick / witchcraft as a form of religion or spirituality. Sure, some of these shows actually do their research. Even Buffy the Vampire Slayer was ahead of its time introducing Wiccans, Technopagans, and New Age practices to pop culture and in many ways helped to show people an obscured version of the truth during the 'Satanic Panic' period when even witches hated being called witches and the pentagram / pentacle difference became an actual difference that wasn't just a choice of words.

Newer generations growing up with Harry Potter, which is hardly a great introduction into magickal traditions, were at least more open minded than the previous generation to the actuality of witchcraft and magick as a spiritual practice.

I mean, who doesn't want to snap their fingers and make the house tidy in one fell swoop?

I sure do. But even when I first started practicing at 11 I understood that that just isn't how it is.

This young man who was saying he lead a coven sounded more like he was LARPing than legitimately asking for spiritual guidance. I realized real quick that I couldn't do anything for him. What he wanted and expected, no matter how many times I referenced the instructions I provided (he evidently hadn't acknowledged) and relayed to him my own experience and expectations, he was looking for that 'quick fix' and someone or something to blame for when it didn't work the way he thought it would. The main reason for his complaint? The night after he received his spell jar, he said he just dreamnt about the moon.

My understanding of lucid dreaming was having direct control over ones dreams. The more I talked to this person the more it became clear that this wasn't his understanding of lucid dreaming. I tried to ask what he had tried to gain that control, as many of you know that I suffered from sleep paralysis for years and taught myself how to realize and 'break out' of it over time. He referenced making offerings to a goddess. I had to stop.

I'm sure that another business minded witch would have sold him something else or offered an exchange. I (stupidly) tried to make him understand that he has the power to manifest his desires. All I did was provide him with a tool to help things along.

This was the same for the woman I had dealt with months ago who said that she had been told by this coven owned business that she was a vampire reincarnated to be with her lover. That was the ultimate end of our conversation because she didn't seem very open to anything I suggested. Whether the things she bought were 'effective' for her or not we will never know. When she started messaging me to the point of harassment I deleted her messages and flagged them as spam. All this time and effort spent consoling someone who really isn't in the right frame of mind for magick or witchcraft.

The main point in writing this ranty post is to get the perspective of the community. What are your expectations for your own spells? What do you tell others when they ask? If you are also a 'witch shop' owner or own your own spiritual practice how do you deal with clients that have set unrealistic expectations for you and your Craft?

[galvanizedfriend]

Klaroline Fic Rec - Day 1

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 1: Canon-ish Title: All I Need Author: @euvixen Summary:  In which I vaguely follow TVD cannon and write the soulmate/werewolf mating AU which absolutely no one asked for. OR The one in which Klaus finds his soulmate, gets bitten, hides his mating mark from her and waits for the day she'll let him give her one back. Fluffy, mildly angsty slow burn with possible super hot hybrid smut in later chapters. Warnings: Some HOT, HOT NSFW scenes, spoilers for TVD S3. Status: Complete

Why you should read it: 

As much as I can appreciate a good AU, nothing makes my heart sing like a good canon-divergent fic, and this rewriting of TVD Season 3 has EVERYTHING. 

It takes off from the Episode That Doomed Us All (aka, Caroline's 18th birthday), but with a twist: the second Caroline bites into Klaus' wrist, he realizes she is his mate. From that point on, the two of them start to experience a load of things - shared emotions, pain, cravings. The most significant of all is that Caroline is hungry for his blood, to the point she needs it just to stay alive. A consequence of a mating bond that demands to be completed. It won't be, however, until Klaus has marked her back, but he decides not to take it by force, instead letting her dictate the rhythm of their growing intimacy. Caroline has no idea what's going on, of course, but she finds herself drawn to him in ways she cannot avoid - and, much to her surprise, she realizes it's not all weird sensations and cravings. The more time she gets to spend around Klaus, even as reluctant as she is, the more she realizes she does not find him nearly as terrible as an evil dude of his calibre should be.

The way @euvixen weaves the whole of season 3, with all its major Klaus-related plot points and all those beautiful moments that have ruined us forever (seeing as, seven years later, we're still here) is a thing of WONDER. She keeps enough of the show, adding her own spin to it, and makes everything SPARKLE. It's so well written and so well crafted, and I simply could not stop reading. I love, love, love that despite the fact Klaus is his well-documented trash-for-Caroline self, he's not at all happy about this development, and his conflicted feelings are so interesting to read, and so, so IC. I love a well written Klaus, when he's not magically turned into a puppy or a prince charming type of character. @euvixen 's Klaus is irresistible, charming and yet temperamental and dangerous in just the right measures. And oh! The way she describes his struggle with ruling over his recently-conquered wolf side is PERFECT! I had honestly never read a story that treated that in such a way, almost like Klaus' wolf is this second entity inhabiting his body and making all these demands that drive him out of his mind, split between how desperately he wants to give in to its animalistic instincts and the pleasure he drives from the struggle and subsequent pleasure of having wrestled it into control.

I talk about Klaus, but Caroline's also amazing! It's everything I've always loved about her character, and built in a way that gives her more agency, apart from her friends and Tyler. Her newly found craving for hybrid blood and all the time she spends with Klaus means Caroline has a secret she can't share with the others, which makes her majorly conflicted, but also much more independent within the story. Suddenly, it's not about Klaus wanting Elena, or Klaus controlling Tyler, or her approaching him to serve as bait anymore. It's Caroline making her own decisions, for herself. Of course she's still loyal and caring because that's the fabric of who she is, but I for one always longed to see a moment when Caroline would have a chance to consolidate all that growth and character development into a story line on the show, and that never happened. I absolutely LOVE this Caroline, who's endearing and strong-willed and inherently good, but also learning how to see past the black-and-whiteness of her morals.

And Kol! I don't care AT ALL about Kol, but all the parts with him here had me cackling. The dialogue is so spot-on and so funny! I swear to God, if this had been real Kol, I might've liked him better. I think this is Kol as he was intended to be, but the show's execution butchered him. @euvixen to the rescue!

You can see the mark of a great writer and a well-thought out and built story when it GROWS as it advances. There's never a moment when I felt frustrated or like the story had slowed down. Everything that happens caused an impact, and it flowed SO nicely. By the time I reached chapter 10, I had ALL THE FEELS SCREAMING inside of me!! There were many moments I loved to bits, but I won't go into details because spoilers. I'll just say that the first chapter is a thing of ART and probably one of the best opening chapters I have ever read.I was hooked before I'd reached the halfway line. 

If all that is still not enough to convince you, it also has A++++ sexy times, folks!

The best of season 3, made even BETTER. Honestly, this is flawless.

Thank you so much for writing!

_____________________

Because I have written several recs over the years, here are other brilliant canon-ish stories from past recs of mine that I think you folks should read and shower with love:

The Tale of a Hybrid and a Vampire by @idiot--wind

I Miss You by @klavscaroline

All The Dirty Thoughts by OneTrueBear

This is a Harvest by @highgaarden

Wild Hearts by @itsnotacrimetoloveyou​

Like a Wedding Dress Needs Dirt by @itsnotacrimetoloveyou

[pigeontheoneandonly]

OC Interview

Thanks @bardofheartdive​ and @citadelsushi​!  I've been wanting to do this one.  :)

Tagging @maxrev​, @practicingproductivity​, @not-plaidweave​, @thexgrayxlady​, and anyone else who wants to do this!

Answering for Nathaly Shepard, circa post-ME2.  She's not one to really open up, so I've answered as if she were talking to herself or someone else she trusts completely.

By FAR my favorite image of her is by @kauriart​: https://kauriart.tumblr.com/image/188072982445 

But I'm not sure if she'd be cool with me re-posting it, so have a screenshot of exasperated Nathaly (pre-freckle-mod, because all of those are still laying in a giant pile):

name ➔ Nathaly Zelena Shepard.  Zelena was my grandmother, and Nathaly was my great aunt.  Someone gets tagged with Nathaly every generation, so we were overdue.

are you single ➔ I'm not sure.  I don't feel single, but in strict technical definition, I guess I'm not not single either.

are you happy ➔ I'd like to think I'm getting there. it's been awhile.

are you angry ➔ Yes.  All the time. It's… getting old.  But there's no simple way to move on from things you couldn't control.  Admitting you had no control is almost worse.

are your parents still married ➔ My parents have been married for thirty-five years.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ An Alliance Kodiak, tail number AS7842, en route to Arcturus.  Right between the fire extinguisher and the pressure relief valve if you believe my mother.

hair color ➔ Red.  It's natural.  You'd be shocked how often I'm asked.

eye color ➔ Blue.

birthday ➔ April 11, 2154.

mood ➔ Hell if I know.  I wouldn't turn down a sandwich.

gender ➔ Female

summer or winter ➔ Fuck planets. Fuck seasons.

morning or afternoon ➔ Morning.  Hell, when I was active duty, I got up so early afternoon was basically evening.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ Yes. Because the universe is a cruel place.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ I do not.  Like at first sight, sure.  And I'm not talking about lust-- though that happens too.  Sometimes you meet a person and immediately know you'll get along.

who ended your last relationship ➔ It was mutual. Once trust is gone, you don't have a relationship anymore.  All we had was a formal acknowledgement of that fact.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ Yes.  I would've given anything not to.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ Afraid feels too strong. I'm not really compatible with commitment, or putting other people first.  But it doesn’t terrify me.  

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ {laughs} You know, I have?

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Do you know what "secret" means?

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ More than once.  And more than twice.  Pretty regularly, if we're being honest.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ Love. Absolutely.  Maybe.  Sex is wonderful and it doesn't hurt as much.  But--- No. Love, definitely.

lemonade or iced tea ➔ Neither tempts me, but if I have to choose, iced tea.

cats or dogs ➔ I've never had a pet. Gut feel says cats, but I'm not familiar with either.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ You can't put a price on being understood.  No amount of casual acquaintances fill that void.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ I've had enough wild nights.  God, I’m old. {sighs}  Make me a drink and let me sleep, and I’m yours forever.

day or night ➔ Day.  Usually.  Night has its charms.  

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ A lot less frequently than I wasn't caught.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ I've experienced the occasional localized spatial rearrangement whereby the stairs became proximate to parts of me other than my feet.  It's something quantum, I'm sure.  Commander Shepard isn’t clumsy.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ Sure.  Who hasn't felt that ache? Sometimes feels like I've done nothing for the past year but want things I can't have back.

wanted to disappear ➔ How do you think I wound up at the ass end of the Terminus?  Sometimes the only way to get a moment to yourself is to outright vanish for a little while.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ {glances away and smiles to herself, a little silly} Eyes.

shorter or taller ➔ Not many people are taller, so I can't say I've ever had the pleasure of comparison.

intelligence or attraction ➔ Someone used the term sapiosexual in my presence once and my soul fled my body.  I think by attraction you mean are they hot, but attraction is the sum total of so many things, and the difficult part is that chemistry is different for every person that draws you.

hook-up or relationship ➔ Depends.  You only want relationships with particular people, and if they're not available, a hook-up does just fine.  Better, actually, than a relationship with the wrong person just for the sake of having one.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ I think sometimes arguing is how we show our love.  Especially between mom and me.  But dad's sometimes worse, because how I live makes him worry, and the way it comes out… I'll take mom's lectures over hurting him like that.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ Yes.  I resent the implication that this is an inherently bad thing, or needs fixing.

have you ever ran away from home ➔ I never really had a home to run away from. Where would I go?  Space?  The Martian planitia?  

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ I sort of got thrown out at eighteen. Thrown directly into the navy, but I was well aware of the alternative.  Hard to blame them, considering.  I was a handful.  Since then? Kicked out of bars, sure.  Got kicked out of a Home Spun once on account of unintentionally shooting up the place.  I'm banned for life.  The duvets of the world miss me desperately.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ Hate is a strong word.  But sometimes experience binds you more tightly than how much you enjoy someone's company.  Sometimes in a life as weird as the one I've led, it's more important.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ Not all of them.  That said, it's amazing how close the past several years made the those I have left. If I've been lucky in nothing else, I've been lucky in my friends.

who is your best friend ➔ Kaidan.  Before he was anything else, even if he's never anything more again. I don't think I knew what a best friend was before I met him.  

who knows everything about you ➔ Kaidan always sees straight through me, and it's damn annoying.  And wonderful, being seen like that.  But mostly annoying.