#I've been having a bunch of posts sitting in my drafts for a while. I try to be consistent with the amount I publish each week/month...

[empyrisan]

2024 / 10 / 27 Back in early August, I went thrift shopping with my sister and her boyfriend. Enjoy these interesting finds! I took home the ceramic black vase with the ornate gold flora patterns (the first vase photo). I got into floral arrangement as a hobby this year, which has been really nice for my mental health, and I wanted to collect a variety of vases and bottles to put my flowers in. I regret skipping out on the lovely peacock vase (shameful, since peacocks are among my favorite birds), just because I didn't want to carry too much stuff around. I'll definitely grab it next time if it's still there. I would've also purchased the boar figurine if it weren't for the fact that he was so heavy. He really sparks my love for big, burly beasts. Perhaps someday I can bring him home...

[bomberqueen17]

ow

lol so. i'm at home after the farm season right. i have so much writing i have been wanting to do, and i have succeeded at doing some of it! i had a brief "ah chicken season is over" hiatus before The Dread Deturkening, and spent that whole thing writing frantically, hence the solarpunk tall ships idea which is still in progress btw-- I did finally start a for real draft version to solicit feedback and now I realize a bunch of people's tumblr handles is not a great way to actually connect so i need to figure out how to do that-- which is beside the point of this post--

anyway. now that it's For Real Hiatus From Farm Season I'm trying to actually get my life in order and not succeeding very well.

Dude's company laid off a bunch of his team and therefore shut down the local office, so he, being the last man standing, had to go in and clear the space out. As part of that, his former desk is sitting in our garage, and I'm trying to clear out space for it in the basement. The basement is a black hole of fuckery because one year ago, some of you may remember, we had our kitchen remodeled, and we had contracted to do it in February but they called us the last week of November and said can we do it now instead, which sure but it meant I had to haul seventeen years' worth of stuff out of the kitchen into Literally Anywhere Else and then they needed me to clear out part of the basement erroneously believing they were putting in a new support pillar, which they weren't, but then they needed me to clear out a path to the back wall of the basement because the electricians needed to install a whole new panel there, so like, ok cool but it just meant a lot of things got haphazardly hauled from one corner of the basement to another in tremendous hurry with no time for keeping track of what's what. So that's a disaster and now's the time to fix it.

I have also been hauling some of it to the attic. I had been using the desk in the spare room for sewing on the days when Dude was working from his office. Since those days no longer happen, I have no access to those machines now, which are stacked in a corner. The basement is now too crowded for me to resume using the little space I'd carved out down there, so I have put some sewing stuff into the attic, which isn't insulated and is rather drafty now. But anyway. I'm rearranging a lot of things and can't make progress on any projects while that's happening.

I got a ton of reorganizing done on Monday evening in the basement (having spent the whole morning hauling shit out of dude's former office, which is now surrendered and locked and all set), and yet more Tuesday, and was hoping to finish it yesterday but Tuesday evening I fucked up my back, it felt all crunchy, and I was really worried until I woke up Wednesday in just torrents of gore, which I realized is my new perimenopausal normal-- I've started to realize that menstruation does fucky shit to all my connective tissues, so I shouldn't actually worry about my lower back destroying itself if it's also Cramp Time. So I spent yesterday absolutely immobile, dosed up on ibuprofen and just like that scene out of the Shining except wrapped in blankets and drinking herbal tea.

I also spent much of yesterday just. Unconscious? Which was weird. I don't know why I'm so fatigued but at least I'm sleeping.

(I also cleaned the oven. Do not recommend, especially not when one's lower back is doing mysterious rice krispie impressions.)

So today I was hoping to get back to work but I do feel like I've been beaten with sticks. Maybe instead I will finish working out how to get people who've expressed interest in beta-reading into a google doc.

A not so hilarious side note is that if I do not have a desk to sit at I have trouble organizing my thoughts?? IDK it's very weird but there are several tasks I need to do where I'll need to have my laptop and a sheet of paper in front of me I think, and my brain is like "illegal unless At Desk" and that's tough shit since I don't have a desk. I had started noticing it over the summer in the cabin where I also don't have a desk. How do I organize my thoughts if I can't Sit At A Desk to do it????? One would think I'd figure it out since i've spent most of my life without a desk of my very own, but. Not so far!!! Not currently.

Also a major thing my brain is Not Allowing me to do is finish preparing for Christmas. I'm not seeing family for Christmas, for the like tenth year in a row because every year we arrange to do it together my older sister fucking flakes out, and this year it was the off year but she flaked out of thanksgiving instead-- i'm not saying she doesn't flake out for good reasons, one of her kids was real sick and i'm not mad, but the fact remains, we're not seeing that bit of the family and she's not letting us make any contingency plans, so my brain is like Fine No Christmas Then and won't let me figure out what to get people for gifts and it is actually a problem because some of those people are kids and are expecting me to figure it out anyway.

argh.

my beloved godfather, my Type A mom's little underachieving alcoholic gay probably ADHD depressed college dropout brother, never was good at christmas presents for us kids either, and still managed to hold it together better than I am despite being in a relationship with a man who wouldn't allow him to tell us nieces about him and so he just showed up to all our family events and was my uncle's "friend" and we all figured it out anyway so there was no point hiding it from us but ugh they still did and i remember us at some point in the 90s, all us sisters sitting together ranging in age from high school down to elementary school and my older sister being like "we all know they're gay right" and us all being like "yeah why can't we just say it" and the oldest sister looking at me, who even then everybody knew was the gay one, and i was like "man i don't know" and we all just solemnly agreed to not mention it...

anyway

he did better than this but he died of lung cancer in '08 so I can't ask him how he managed it. (what i have in my favor is that my dad's side of the family gave me asthma so i never could have taken up smoking, so at least that won't kill me.)

He never got an ADHD diagnosis tho so I can't find out what meds he took. Well, he took whiskey, we know that. It didn't work though. and he wasn't really a loser, i've met so many people who knew and loved him now that i'm an adult and sometimes go around in the city where he lived. even now so many people remember him so fondly. and he bragged about us, his nieces, all the time, all these people know who i am as soon as i mention him. boy i miss him!!!

this is the miracle of the ADHD brain I was fretting about house cleaning and now i'm grieving my long-dead uncle, who of course I knew mostly through the lens of my mother who literally never understood him in the slightest.

[blue-thief]

Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?

HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.

also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)

(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)

anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me

usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though

i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out

when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do

that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃

(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)

(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)

i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like

i don't plan out my fics right

i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not

(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)

and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other

then i imagined sae smiling

and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"

that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly

to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser

and sae is kinda just like me frfr

that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that

and yeah. yeah... i get that.......

it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk

(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)

and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real

anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts

now for the parallels part.

(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)

i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down

but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence

isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy

this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself

meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface

however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another

when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him

rin also depended heavily on sae on the field

now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way

rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae

...but now he's met isagi

and his obsession has found a new object

with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi

while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi

isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin

and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now

but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"

I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID

but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more

however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again

which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)

which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭

isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent

the itoshi brothers are different though

rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency

but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...

uh. that doesn't really apply to rin

sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao

there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum

in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.

however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder

then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker

while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead

many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao

errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob

[bonefall]

If you flip the spade upside down and put it on Gorseclaw’s neck, it could kind of look like a tie

Hello anon with the most convenient ask in my inbox, you have been selected to receive a FLOOD OF SKETCHES

I had only drawn Gorseclaw and Ripplestar before, and I'm about to do a redesign of Larkstripe so that she has the "hearts" motif that her son gets. I did a bunch of sketches just to try and figure stuff out so, messy post

Glossary:

Ripplestar

Gorseclaw and Spottedpelt

Larkstripe

Birdflight, Marshscar

After I post this I'm gonna jump back into Clip to play with Cloudstar next

RIPPLESTAR

[ID: A sketch of BB!Ripplestar. The text points out his major features and reads, "Heterochromia: Amber + Brown." Smooth scruff, with an arrow that points out the shape. Ginger on 1 side. Deer-eared. 3 layers with an arrow that points out the three stacks of fur on his chest. Wooly, kinda like a half-shorn sheep.]

I've actually drawn Ripplestar a lot in the margins of my notes and such, so this design's pretty solid.

I change the side the hearts are on, plus the number of hearts, literally every single time I've ever drawn him lmao. It dozen madder.

What DOES matter though is that there's a HEART over his BRIGHTER eye. I use it as a bit of a visual metaphor, if he's trying to size you up or negotiate with you, he keeps you in the bright eye. When he trusts you or becomes comfortable with you in some way, he turns the brown eye on you.

So in most scenes where he's not talking to family I imagine he's not fully looking at his conversational partner. Especially on the Highrock as leader of ShadowClan, because the layout makes the leaders sit side-by-side. Might as well play with that simple logistic fact, y'know?

He does this because I imagine this marking kind of intimidates people. It's like the ginger of his eye socket has set his iris ablaze with fire, while the other is as cold as rain-soaked peat.

The ear on the "colorful" side is also orange. All of his orange is on one side, except for his tail-tip.

He's actually distantly related to Nightcloud-- his Honor Sire (who was known but not involved) went on to have a mate. So he's the half-brother of one of her ancestors, and Nightcloud has inherited this thick, wooly fur texture.

Again, I draw him a lot so this was the easiest one. I didn't have to decide anything besides that I made his nose into a cute lil carebear heart.

The drawing I did for this synopsis of Ripplestar's Rot was actually the first time I drew him, for comparison! It's fun to see what's been streamlined.

GORSECLAW AND SPOTTEDPELT

FIRST sketches didn't feel right.

[ID: BB!Gorseclaw and BB!Spottedpelt. They have long, curly tails, long claws, and bell-shaped heads. Gorseclaw has a sharp 'tie' on his chest, and Spottedpelt has a heart]

I feel like Gorseclaw's spades look too much like diamonds in this one, but I was really going for a tie.

I've been giving him those sideburns for months, so, they don't really fit the "shape theory" but I'm having a hard time removing them lmao.

And this is the first time I drew Spots which is a shame. I love a bad bitch.

If you look at my designs, you can notice that I have a few traits that cats from each Clan "tend" to have. They're all pretty genetically similar actually and there's a lot of crossings between the groups, secret or otherwise, but some traits just get selected for more than others, and StarClan is likely to toss them into kits. SkyClan has saggy skin (like a bear) and really bendy tails.

Don't think it's come through well here, though. In future drafts I'm going to try and make them saggier.

(Why? It actually helps them against insect stings and impact damage, like falling from trees and being hit by branches)

Then I went on to draft 2,

[ID: Second draft of the characters above. Spottedpelt is fatter, with "dapples" on her back which are actually spades, and a distinctive spade-shaped mask. The ears of both siblings are now spade-shaped, and Gorseclaw's tie is different, along with Spottedpelt's heart with is now more of a medal.]

I like Spottedpelt a LOT more in this draft. That's probably going to be close to the final design I do, I'm really vibing with the dapple-spades.

I DON'T like Gorseclaw in this one though, the face shape reminds me waaay too much of Dustpelt's familial face-plate. Absolutely going to revise that, probably making it more mask-like akin to Spots'.

Also very proud of myself for the spade-shaped ears.

Hate Gorse's tie here though, that's not a tie that is a stinkhorn mushroom.

But Spots' medal is excellent. Absolutely keeping that. She is a distinguished little war crime kitty

Still not fat and saggy enough. Coming back to this. I need to learn how to draw a primordial pouch.

LARKSTRIPE

I'm trying to redesign her and I'm losing :/

[ID: BB!Larkstripe. She's a very plain cat with a string of hearts from her eye down to her leg, with a heart-shaped nose, cutie marks, and a heart-shaped tail tip]

This was the FIRST first draft of the redesign and that heart chain is underwhelming.

It felt like too much of a downgrade from the diamond-pattern Larkstripe I did, and I'm worried that maybe it's because diamonds just look so much nicer in a "chain"

I feel like I see too many perfect hearts on chests in WC designs, so when I do them, I try to do something weird with them like what I did to Heartstar

So I turned hers into a little fur tuft splash. I like the idea tbh, I might repurpose it for another design.

[ID: A version of the above sketch with bigger hearts on the chain and a single heart on the flank, followed by another sketch attempting to make the stripe more "blobbish"]

I'm beginning to think that maybe I don't like the sketches because Larkstripe is sad :( I like when I can draw her angry, before the strikebreaking broke her

And unfortunately she is the absolute most tragic character in BB. They took the fight out of her. I figure it would be symbolically fitting for the heart shape on her chest to "break" after Dalestar's decree.

For those asking questions, no, she never joins Skypelt. She is convinced she did the wrong thing and ended up unleashing an era of suffering on the Clans by having Ripplestar follow in her footsteps, though she had no control over him.

She's a character who would offer her life as an example during trials involving the Cleric's Vow, especially since I've gutted Moth Flight in BB. She argues about how important it is to avoid birthing cats who will claim their conquest is holy in the name of their parents.

She would also have something to say to Mudfur, admonishing him for breaking his Vow so openly, even saying that he's responsible for Leopardstar and all of her choices.

Basically, Larkstripe is beaten. She is a very tired, shameful spirit who repeats exactly what Silverpelt told her, during her own trial. She's so grateful to be here that she acts with devotion towards it.

Hurt people hurt people and all

But anyway, I still feel like it's a bit of a downgrade from the older design for Larkstripe, so I'm probably going to keep playing with it.

BIRDFLIGHT AND MARSHSCAR

[ID: BB!Birdflight. She's a tabby with the spades motif, long bases stretching up into hears on her shoulder, side, and flank.]

I want her to look old and tired. She's got that Leafpoolyness about her.

She's technically the very first member of the Tigerkin family, and has those characteristic long-claws.

I imagine in Clanmew her name is actually Yassgafba, "Raptor preparing to take flight." I have this really sad mental image of a majestic hawk that keeps spreading its wings, as if to take off and fly away, but never does.

Fitting, because she waited her whole life for Cloudstar to send word they'd found a new home, to come and fetch her and their children, but never did.

While I'm at the trivia, yes, Ripplestar and her were very close. Larkstripe argues in StarClan that Ripplestar started his war because of her, but it's not true. It was Birdflight who made him believe that Cloudstar would never abandon his family; if they hadn't heard from him, something was very wrong.

She died before he became leader, probably of a sickness outbreak. She likely didn't take the journey because she's immunocompromised in some way, plus the two newborns.

She was given a place in StarClan, but I'm not sure if she followed Ripplestar and Birdflight into the Dark Forest. She DID vote to accept them though.

I think she's practical about this. Leave for the Dark Forest, and you loose your voting power in StarClan.

She sees that there are very few SkyClan ancestors left here, hears Skystar scoff that the others are fools for leaving, that if more had remained then the rebels would not have been damned... and understands the value in his words.

If there's any reason for the Tigerkin Curse (which I hadn't really been working with until now, tbh, I just chalked it up to Bad Mojo on the night of Ripplestar's last stand), it's probably related to Birdflight in some way. Which is why no one knows what's causing it.

I don't know why, yet, though. Maybe it's an accident on her part. She could be crafting their litters, but every time she finishes a set, she can't help but cry about how much the fresh souls remind her of the newborns that stopped her from joining her mate, and her kits in the Dark Forest.

It's probably why the PROPER curse might stop abruptly after SkyClan's return. She joins Skypelt as soon as it's an option.

[ID: BB!Marshscar. He's a scrawny, battle-scarred old tabby with a diamond motif.]

He doesn't have any markings in-canon so I tried to just make all of his scars diamond-shaped. I don't think it works, I'm going to give him some markings.

I like the ears though, that's staying. I might also borrow from the old Larkstripe design, give him those funky diamond-spikes on his chest.

I have barely talked about him, but he is actually very important to Ripplestar. They've been mates since they were young warriors.

I kinda want to make it so that Spottedpelt was Ripplestar's deputy before being killed that night, but it was always implicit that if something happened to them, Marshscar was next in charge.

This drawing is definitely when he's older and more worn-out, he lives a long life without Ripplestar, ruling ShadowClan reluctantly, half-heartedly doing the bare minimum.

It's a downer story, and I think it really fits the theme here that Clan Culture is about to get a whole lot worse before it gets better... but still I love the fact that Ripplestar's Rot just ends with the entire cast like

[ID: Spongebob sits at a diner with his hands folded, frowning slightly, disquieted and deep in thought]

Like there really isn't a happy camper in this one lmao. Nobody wins. Alexa play 'That's Not How The Story Goes'

[pale-opal]

So

What writing projects do you have in the works?

👀

!!!

I am so glad that you asked this question! I honestly have a lot of ideas, and I have been wanting an excuse to talk about them for a while. So if you don't mind me rambling for a little bit:

So the first thing that I've been working on is a sequel to the first fic that I uploaded for this MMX rewrite that I've been working on (an AU called Collision Course). I'm trying to get a backlog of 30 chapters together before I release the second part, and I'm on Chapter 20 right now. I wanted to have it released well before this time, but I kept hitting walls with some of the chapters that came before the current one. However, I think I should be good once I reach Chapter 21 (the story will start to reach a point that I've been really excited to work on). I'm hoping to have it out before the end of the month.

@crystalclear365 and I have started planning for this one fic that we decided to write together - I won't go too far into it because we both want it to be a surprise, so all I will say is that I hope you like cooking shows. >:)

I also like to write essays sometimes, and there's been one that's been sitting in my drafts for way too long. I want to have that out by the end of the month, too (it's been a blast working on it, but I want it gone). I have other ideas for essays past that, but I think it would be best if I finally finished this one first.

I also have a bunch of AUs that I've been mentally workshopping for good while. Here are a few that I want to talk about:

There's a slice of life human + modern AU that involves Shadow Man being neighbors with the Wily family, along with shenanigans such as Bass skipping school on a near regular basis, Piano and Waltz (cut characters from the Megamix manga and the Dreamwave comics respectively) being in girl scouts, Snake Man trying to set Shadow up with Berkana, Star Man being a community theater teacher, Wily being a deadbeat (if there's anything most of my AUs have in common, it's that Wily is a terrible father and Shadow Man will adopt nearly all of Wily's kids if you let him), Zero and X being lab partners, Blues being a runaway... there's a lot going on. I'm definitely going to have to make a proper post explaining this one at some point (and not just because I feel like I'll implode if I don't write something for it soon).

I also have a human + zombie AU that has a bunch of lore, so I can't talk about it too much without giving it its own post - so to sum it up, a bunch of the characters from the Mega Man series got turned into zombies during the apocalypse, got found by some scientists that are being led by Gate, got experimented on, got some of their sentience back while losing some of their zombie-tendencies, and escaped. Now it's everyone else's problem. It features events such as Red learning how to love and be less selfish after half-zombie Axl looks at him one day and goes "Yup. that's my dad now.", Shadow Man adopting half-zombie Zero (because of course he does), Snake Man slowly succumbing to the infection because he took too long to amputate his bite (oof), and Lunime trying to convince all the other former infected to rise up against the humans. And the half-zombies can speak to those that are fully infected, while all the humans get to stand around watching like this:🧍‍♂️

I have a vampire AU I haven't put much thought into. I do have a few details though: Red is Axl's biological father in this one, and Axl is half-vampire (Red is human, though. And an ex-vampire hunter. So he's going through it). Blues is a vampire hunter who is really good at his job, but hates doing it. Shadow Man's family act like rejects from the Addams family. Dr. Light is a retired hunter. I want to write a oneshot for Mouthwashing at some point (I saw a playthrough of it not too long ago and I may never be the same (/pos)), but I'm still working out the main plot beats. There's also a bunch of lore I have for my OCs, but to talk about that would take hours (seriously). I have some other oneshot ideas for the Mega Man franchise as well, but I'm saving those for special occasions (one of them I am saving for April Fool's Day. It is November. Bear with me). But uh... yeah! That's about it. Thank you again for asking! I hope I didn't talk too much. 😅

[syuga-s]

whispers in the dark

w.c 4.7 k pairing. my loveYoongi x afab!reader genre. fluff, sUgGeStIvE kinda, just romantic first encounters a/n. he's a dream I can't believe it, guys I love yoongi so much, idek why I've had this in my drafts for like a YEAR, I'm gonna try and upload stories more often so here you go. mentions of alcohol, moderate consumption nothing extreme 🤝

You noticed when this man sat down beside you, not invading your personal space but he was close enough, letting you marvel at his delicate features. You didn't care that he would see you looking at him, he sat next to you for a reason. His presence was alluring, however, it didn't mean that you’d be the one making the first move.

You weren’t in the mood to go crazy like Lisa and Zoe tonight. They let you know beforehand that their goal was to get absolutely wasted and after all these years of knowing them, you learned that you were no one to stop them.

Tonight you were sitting on a couch, downing your drink quietly, admiring the atmosphere, noticing how everyone was eager to get drunk and you could only watch them in awe. Is that how I look when I want to get drunk too?

You got lost in your own world, you didn’t want to pay much attention to your close surroundings. This week had been crazy and getting yourself looking pretty to drink and sit in a room full of strangers felt like the right choice.

You kept an eye on your two best friends, looking after them from afar, concerned about them getting too drunk or getting themselves in a dangerous something. Fortunately, they were just having fun, dancing, being the center of attention. Every single individual on the dance floor hyping them up or buying them drinks.

You were usually with them, you also liked being the center of attention, it’s not as if you don’t like to have fun but tonight wasn't that kind of night.

Tonight you were happy drinking by yourself at your table, being the safe-keeper of your purses. You weren't even checking your phone, cause to be honest there wasn't anything to check in there.

And you wouldn't dare post a story on Instagram. That would be an open door for a bunch of DM's from people you weren't interested in or them showing up unannounced and ruining your night.

Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook almost dragged Yoongi out here tonight. It's not like he doesn't enjoy going out but on this particular Friday, he ~really~ didn't want to come to a club to just plop down on a couch and drink when he could perfectly do so in the comfort of his own home.

But apparently, his friends told him that "he hasn't gone out in weeks" and that he "needs to socialize more".

He wishes that they would take into account that he does go out for errands plus he walks Holly often. And that he can perfectly socialize through texts. Nevertheless, he ended up agreeing to go out with them for a while.

“Fine but I’m gonna complain the whole time.”

His expectations for the night were below the ground.

Yoongi noticed you and your little group of friends since you arrived. There was an aura about you three that he immediately spotted but as the night progressed he understood that whatever he had perceived came only from you.

There was something about you that made him realize he had to make an effort to catch your attention. One way or another.

He also knew it wouldn't be easy because, for the past hour and a half, he's been hesitant to do anything thanks to your intimidating stare. You haven't even spared a glance at a single individual and your gaze feels so heavy even from a few feet away.

"Why is she by herself ?"

"She came with friends so it's not like she doesn't have anyone"

“She can drink well”

It's like he's studying your every move.

Jungkook was already buzzed by now. Hoseok and Jimin were on the dance floor since they arrived here, maybe they even were with Lisa and Zoe at this point. They were like the identical versions of each other's and their goal tonight was to get very drunk too. Those four are meant to meet.

Kook wasn't on his 'bad decisions' agenda tonight so he was really happy just drinking beside his friend. But then he started noticing that Yoongi wasn't drinking like he usually did. He seemed lost in thought.

"Everything cool Yoongi?" No answer.

He scooted over closer to him and asked again, "Are you okay?" Still no answer. Jungkook now decided to take his eyes where Yoongi had fixated his. And he understood it all.

There was this breathtaking girl a few tables away from theirs. All black outfit. She was only scanning the place with a drink in hand, no phone or friends on sight. Kook grinned at this and thought "just Yoongi's type."

"She looks very mysterious huh" and with these words, Yoongi came out of his trance. "Huh? Who? What are you talking about?" Jungkook now did laugh and threw his arm around Yoongi, "you should go talk to her, she's all alone!"

Yes, I know Kookie "what if she WANTS to be alone?" Yoongi paused and turned to his younger friend, "I saw her come with her friends, if she wanted company she wouldn't be by herself." He finished his drink and started fidgeting with the glass.

Kook pursed his lips at this, his fuzzy brain not letting him register the reason for his friend's doubts. “Yoongi… I can’t believe you sometimes, just go and talk to her, I know she’ll like you.”

And he wasn’t wrong.

You felt something about him as soon as he sat beside you and immediately started to wonder why you hadn't seen him before when you were scanning everyone in the place. He exudes class, way more than everyone in here but his energy feels so calm. That feels like an odd combo.

And well, it’s not like you were scouting for someone tonight but he’s everything you like at first sight.

You can’t behave yourself when a man looks as composed as him, has long black hair, wearing a perfectly neat suit with a t-shirt, and let’s not start with his hands.

You felt like a puddle as soon as you eyed his huge manly hands.

You finished your gin neat and the sound of ice clinking made Yoongi turn his eyes at your glass. You also checked out he wasn’t drinking anything anymore and debated within yourself if you should say something right now.

Yet he beat you to it. While you were playing with your ring on your pointer finger you finally heard his deep, raspy voice.

“You don’t like to dance?” He stated without making eye contact with you, he was looking at your friends with his friends on the dance floor.

You thought you misheard him because you weren’t expecting that question. You grinned at him and he was able to see your right dimple. Still avoiding eye contact you told him, “I do, very much, but I’m not in the mood tonight” you paused and decided you wanted to know why wasn’t he dancing either.

You rested your chin on your hand and turned to him, finally your eyes on each other. “What about you? I doubt you only came here to talk to antisocial girls.” He was the first to laugh at this, the sound of his laugh as attractive as him. “You should know I’m famous for approaching girls that are alone.” You flashed him another smile after those words. Maybe he’s nervous, you thought. That’s cute.

“I’m sorry I’m joking, I like dancing but I don’t usually come to these places.” You glanced at your friends and luckily they were in the company of two cute guys, Lisa saw you too and sent you a little wave. You smiled at this, knowing you could ease up a little and turned your attention towards the man beside you.

He was anxious about this, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable because you were being really nice to him, all the opposite of what he imagined at first. “How come? Well no, I guess I get it, there are days when you don’t want to go out and ‘socialize’ right?” You were being really friendly but he still couldn’t get past your intense gaze.

“Yeah, today was one of those, but actually my friends over there — pointed to where Lisa and Zoe were, fancy seeing that now Jungkook had joined them — made me come, so here I am.”

“Oh my god, are those your friends?!” Both of you took a quick glance at the scene your friends were making and you slowly returned to give him a shocked look.

He had sensed the same thing sooner than you and confirmed “I am literally powerless to stop them.” “Happy to know we are both useless.” You giggled with him and made eye contact for a few seconds longer.

His company felt heavenly. No longer remembering that you wanted to drink alone. He was being really nice and you were feeling very attracted to him just by hearing his voice, even with all this noise. The conversation was easy with him. You honestly couldn’t stop stealing glances at him.

“You want to go out for some air?” He offered and you accepted. Quickly grabbing your three purses, you got up and made your way to the terrace.

He started walking behind and that’s when you took in the fact that he was slightly taller than you. This man hasn’t even done much and you were already feeling weak.

He didn’t want to hold your hand or your lower back on your way out. But he was dying to do so. I shouldn’t push it so soon, I don’t even know her name yet.

“So tell me, why did your friends had to drag you here?” You leaned against a railing and turned to face him again.

You made yourself take your eyes away from him right away, you literally couldn’t stop appreciating his features. How his little hair strands adorned his face, the way his earrings gave him an attitude that didn’t match with his endearing aura, his velvety pink lips begging you to lock eyes with them.

He’s not pretty, not handsome but a third grand thing that had you scared to fall in love at the end of the night. In all seriousness he IS pretty AND handsome AND hot.

Thankfully he was too busy figuring out what to say to you that he didn’t noticed the way you were staring so hard at him.

“Care to tell me your name first?” He wondered. He was dying to put a name to the attractive person in front of him.

You told him and asked him the same question. “nice to meet you y/n, i’m Yoongi.” He offered you his hand and when you took it, it felt like electric charges flowed from your hands to your whole body. You took your time shaking hands, both of you maintaining eye contact for what felt like the longest time.

The night went on and your conversation went through a lot of subjects. From the reason he doesn’t like going out that much and the reason he didn’t get to meet the extra outgoing version of you tonight; to the immense love you both have for your friends, your pets, what you do for a living and lastly, how you both really like to drink.

Yoongi’s quiet confidence and the way he listened to you with such attentiveness made you feel incredibly comfortable. You couldn't help but be charmed by his dry wit and his ability to make you laugh.

“I’m having a hard time believing you drink that much.” A teasing tone in his voice, his expression also reflecting it.

The smirk you gave him was sinful. “What can I say? I’ve developed some tolerance through my years.”

“Well, I’ll be the judge of that” a smirk on his face, perfectly mirroring yours. “Let’s go inside, I think it’s time for a drink.”

You smiled and followed him, once inside he opened a path in the crowd, it’s the first time you noticed how commanding his presence could be, just so the two of you could pass through and reach the bar counter. He held your hands really tight almost afraid you could escape from him. You noticed his hands were rough.

Once you got out the crowd, he came close to talk in your ear and said he needed to check something. You got surprised to the sound of his voice, to hear it that close for the first time. It was actually way sweeter and deeper than what you made it out to be. Maybe it was the intimacy of having him this close. If he wanted to stir something within you, he succeeded.

“You know what? I’m really… thirsty” you said.

You noticed that his hand was still holding yours when he shifted his hand position to tangle his fingers with yours and walk by your side towards the bar.

He looked very pleased to see you drinking from your glass like you had been in the desert for days. A trickle of alcohol escaped from your lips as you drank, you felt it running down your throat finding its fate on your chest. And as the alcohol trickled down your throat, Yoongi's gaze intensified, his eyes fixed on the path the liquid took. A subtle smirk played on his lips, indicating the desire building within him. The electric tension between you both seemed palpable as if the air crackled with anticipation.

Yoongi leaned in closer, his voice husky and laced with a newfound boldness. "Thirsty, huh? I can't blame you," he murmured, his breath teasingly brushing against your ear. The words sent a shiver down your spine, and a flush of warmth spread through your body.

Yoongi couldn't help but find it incredibly attractive. The way you didn't hold back, indulging in your drink with such pleasure and abandon. He had always been drawn to people who embraced their desires, and you were no exception.

The chemistry between you was undeniable, and Yoongi couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation building within him.

The alcohol kept flowing, inhibitions started to fade away and the sexual tension between you became more palpable. There were moments when your eyes would lock, sparks igniting in the air and creating an electric charge that neither of you could resist. The way he bit his lip, the way you ran your fingers through your hair, it was all driving each other crazy with desire.

It seemed like he wasn’t going to stop teasing you anytime soon.

Yoongi leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered, "I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you." His voice was husky, sending shivers down your spine as you glanced up at him, the desire evident in your eyes. You didn't even trust yourself to respond with words.

Feeling emboldened by his proximity and the shared chemistry, you leaned in, your voice carrying a hint of playfulness. "Well, what do you suggest we do about it?" The challenge was clear in your voice, your eyes gleaming with mischief.

A mischievous glint sparkled in Yoongi's eyes as he gently released your hand, reaching over to rest his fingers lightly on your waist. The touch sent a surge of electricity through you, and you could feel the heat radiating between you. "Let's just make sure that I won’t lose my chance," he replied, his voice dripping with suggestion.

Together, you made your way to the bar once more, but the intention behind the act was far from simply ordering another drink. The drinks became mere props in this intoxicating game of seduction, as you both relished in the thrill of the escalating connection.

As the bartender prepared your drinks, Yoongi's gaze never wavered from you. The air hummed with anticipation, and the noise of the club faded into the background. It was as if the two of you existed in your own world, one charged with desire and the promise of an unforgettable night.

The bartender handed you the glasses, their coolness a stark contrast to the heat building between you. You raised your glass to your lips, but before you could take a sip, Yoongi's hand gently wrapped around your wrist, his touch sending an electric jolt through your veins.

"Wait," he whispered, his eyes locked on yours. "I have a better idea." With a subtle nod, he guided you away from the bar and led you to a secluded corner of the club, where the pulsating music became a distant hum.

A flicker of anticipation danced in your eyes as you wondered what he had in mind. Without a word, Yoongi stepped closer, his body mere inches away from yours. The proximity between you was intoxicating, and you could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Slowly, Yoongi raised his hand to your cheek, his touch feather-light yet full of intent. His thumb gently brushed across your lower lip, igniting a fire within you. The intensity of his gaze deepened, and you could sense his desire mirrored in your own eyes.

In that moment, the world around you ceased to exist as you became lost in the magnetic pull between you. The anticipation reached its peak, and the only sound that remained was the rapid beat of your hearts, synchronized in a rhythm that spoke of an undeniable connection.

Without hesitation, Yoongi closed the remaining distance, his lips meeting yours in a searing kiss. It was a meeting of fire and passion, a culmination of the desire that had been building since the moment you locked eyes. In that stolen moment, the club faded away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a dance of unspoken promises.

As the kiss deepened, time seemed to stand still. The taste of alcohol mixed with the sweetness of anticipation, heightening every sensation. In that stolen embrace, you knew that this encounter was not just a chance meeting.

And so, lost in each other's touch and the intoxicating allure of the night, you surrendered to the undeniable chemistry that brought you together.

Your lips met in a collision of desire and anticipation, a delicious melding of heat and longing. Yoongi's kiss was electrifying, his lips firm yet tender against yours. There was a hunger in the way he moved his mouth, a hunger that matched your own.

His hand gently cradled the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, intensifying the intimacy of the moment. His touch was a delicate balance of passion and restraint, as if he wanted to savor every second.

You responded eagerly, your own hands finding their way to Yoongi's shoulders, feeling the strong contours beneath his shirt. Your fingers traced the fabric, reveling in the sensation of his body pressed against yours.

The world around you seemed to fade away as the kiss continued, the pulsating music and chatter of the club becoming a distant echo. All that mattered in that moment was the intoxicating connection between you, the unspoken language of desire expressed through the meeting of lips.

The taste of him was exquisite, a blend of warmth and subtle sweetness. Your mouths moved together in a rhythm that was both fervent and tender, exploring the depths of the connection that had ignited between you. Each brush and caress of your tongues only deepened the desire, igniting a fire that seemed to consume both of you.

As the kiss lingered, Yoongi's lips would occasionally trail along your jawline and down the curve of your neck, leaving a trail of soft, lingering kisses. Each touch set your skin ablaze, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

Time seemed to stand still as the intensity of the moment grew, your bodies pressed close together, caught in that surge of passion. Every breath, every sigh, was shared between you, a testament to the intoxicating connection.

Eventually, the need for air became undeniable, and the kiss broke with a gentle reluctance. Both of you were left breathless, gazes locked and hearts racing, the world around you slowly coming back into focus. The chemistry between you remained palpable, the air charged with a newfound intimacy that promised more to come.

In that stolen kiss, something changed, setting the stage for a night filled with passion.

As you both caught your breath, the lingering heat of the kiss still tingling on your lips, Yoongi's eyes locked with yours. A soft smile played on his lips, revealing a mix of desire and genuine interest. The connection between you was undeniable, and he didn't want to let it slip away.

You realized that you had lost track of time. You looked around and saw that the club was starting to empty out. Your friends and Yoongi's friends eventually found the two of you, their laughter filling the air as they marveled at the unexpected connection that was happening before their eyes.

Introductions were made, and the air was filled with a mix of excitement. Yoongi seamlessly interacted with both groups, effortlessly blending into the conversation while never straying too far from your side. His hand found yours, offering a sense of comfort and intimacy amidst the group.

As everyone shared stories and laughter, the drinks continued to flow, each round fostering a feeling of newness.

The night had brought you all together.

Yoongi leaned in and whispered in your ear, "I have to admit, I wasn't looking forward to coming out tonight. But now I'm really glad I did."

As closing time approached, Yoongi turned to you, his voice carrying a mix of concern and genuine care. "Y/N, it's getting late. Let me drive you home, make sure you get there safe."

You felt a flutter in your stomach at the thought of spending more time with him, and you eagerly accepted his offer.

Together, you bid farewell to your friends and his, the excitement of the night lingering in the air. Yoongi's hand found its way to the small of your back as he guided you towards the exit, his touch grounding and reassuring.

The night air was cool as you stepped outside, finding yourselves in the quiet embrace of the street. Yoongi's car awaited nearby, a symbol of the transition from the pulsating energy of the club to a more intimate space shared between just the two of you.

As you waited for the valet to retrieve Yoongi's car, a sense of both anticipation and longing hung in the air. The connection between you had grown throughout the night, igniting a fire that couldn't be easily extinguished. Yoongi stood closely behind you, his left hand enveloping your waist, his presence both comforting and electrifying.

You could feel his breath hot against the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. His voice, laced with desire and vulnerability, whispered into your ear, its warmth mingling with the cool night air. "Y/N, would it be too forward of me to invite you to my place? I'm not ready to let you go just yet."

His words sent a surge of desire coursing through your veins, stirring a yearning within you that matched his own. The raw honesty in his voice spoke volumes, revealing the depth of his attraction between you. You found yourself captivated by his audacity, his willingness to lay his desires bare.

As you turned to meet Yoongi's gaze, the intensity in his eyes mirrored your own. The vulnerability and desire mingled within them, baring his soul before you. It was as if he had thrown caution to the wind, offering you an unfiltered glimpse into his most authentic self.

The valet's footsteps echoed in the distance, a reminder of the impending end to this chapter of the night. Time seemed to slow, the world fading into the background as you contemplated his offer. The moment felt stuffed, as if the universe held its breath in anticipation of your response.

You felt Yoongi's hand securely wrapped around your waist, his breath teasing your ear, and his bold question hung in the air, leaving your heart racing. There was a magnetic pull between you, a connection that demanded to be explored further. At that moment, you decided to follow his path, allowing yourself to be swept away by the intoxicating energy of the man you met tonight.

A thrill coursed through your veins as you turned to face Yoongi, a glimmer of anticipation dancing in your eyes. A smile played on your lips, mirroring the desire that burned within you. "Yoongi," you whispered, your voice filled with a mixture of confidence and longing. "You can’t imagine how much I’d love that."

As the words left your lips, a spark ignited in Yoongi's eyes, a fire that mirrored your own. The world around you seemed to fade into the background as the promise of the night took hold. With a silent understanding, he tightened his grip around your waist, his touch conveying a mixture of possessiveness and tenderness.

Together, you made your way to his car, the anticipation building with each step. The drive to his place was filled with a comfortable silence that enveloped you, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine, and unspoken desire. The journey was filled with stolen glances, small touches, and a growing sense of what lay ahead of both of you.

As you entered his home, a mixture of nerves and excitement danced within you. The atmosphere was filled with a potent blend of familiarity and newness, as if you were stepping into a realm where time held no sway. The soft lighting cast a warm glow across the room, creating an ambiance that invited intimacy.

In that private sanctuary, you allowed yourselves to get lost in each other, exploring the depths of your desires and unraveling the layers that had drawn you together. The night became a symphony of whispered words, stolen kisses, and passionate embraces. The room was consumed with the sound of soft moans and the sensation of wandering hands exploring each other's bodies.

Yoongi's touch ignited a fire within you, his hands exploring the contours of your body with a reverence that left you breathless. With each caress, each shared moment of intimacy, you discovered new dimensions of pleasure and connection that fueled your desires.

As the dawn painted the sky with hues of pink and gold, you lay entwined, the gentle rise and fall of your breaths synchronizing. You woke up with a smile on your face, replaying the events of the previous night in your head. You couldn't explain how easily you had connected with Yoongi.

Yoongi woke up shortly after and he couldn’t believe it either. Still in bed with the only person that had made him pour out his raw feelings.

It was too much to be the first thing to think about in the morning.

No longer able to contain his longing, leaned in closer as he whispered, "Would you mind giving me your number?” His request lingered in the air, waiting for your response.

A playful spark lit up your eyes as you teasingly replied, "Why not? I think I could manage to see you again." You asked him for a pen and a Post-it, —giving it some kind of old-school feeling—, you jotted down your number next to a doodle of a winky face before handing it to him. The exchange felt like a secret pact, a promise of more adventures yet to come.

“You know, to continue where we left off." A spark of enthusiasm in your eyes.

A smile tugged at your lips as you locked eyes with him. "I'm looking forward to it," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of eagerness and intrigue.

[david-talks-sw]

any new Star Wars essays in the making, or are you moving on?

I don't know, honestly.

Part of it is "life gets in the way," I'm working a lot and so whatever time I have left is spent just messing around or meeting with my loved ones.

I've got a bunch of stuff in my drafts. I don't mind sharing it here, most recent to oldest:

Sort of a joke post of me pointing out how stressful being George Lucas' producer must've been, like this guy really DIDN'T WANT to write his fucking scripts, did he? Poor Rick McCallum. Abandoned because who gives a crap.

'Ask' reply on how EU-fueled fandom perception of the Jedi was flipped by the prequels.

'Ask' reply about the themes in Ahsoka and why the show doesn't know what it's about. Problem is, I go about it starting from the basics, so nobody's gonna sit through reading a tematic breakdown of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, The Batman and the original six Star Wars films before I even get to the show at hand.

"Part II" post about what Ahsoka, Rebels and TCW get right about lightsaber duels, which the Prequels never did.

Quote collection & analysis on just how complex the Prequels were meant to be (in the late 80s, Lucas intimated that the Sequels were the story that was supposed to have gray morality, not the Prequels)

Quote collection on how the themes and principles of Star Wars align with Lucas' own opinions and philosophies.

Quote collection on Lucas defining Anakin's flaws.

Quote collection on Lucas talking about the fact that we need to be more proactive, which aligns with what Lumi points out sometimes about the Jedi: they should've been more politically engaged because we all should be.

Why I approach Lucas as "word of god".

Personal life/joke-y post dating from the time of the WGA strike about how Jack Black's School of Rock lyrics "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due!" applied to me. Abandoned because I didn't wanna bum everyone out.

Correcting the notion that Dark Times-era Jedi such as Kanan or Ezra or Ahsoka represent what Jedi were supposed to be.

A comprehensive end-all outlook on how Anakin's flaws all tie together. I've written this one twice and I don't know how to differentiate it from my other posts.

A secret "Part 3" to my TLJ Luke post, in which I point out that RJ's being too "indie", while being a strong point for a big chunk of the film, hampers the film's ability to make Luke feel as badass as he does on paper. I want to illustrate a storyboard for this one, but that takes time.

The evolution of Star Wars' approach to transmedia.

Debunking Star Wars myths: a (very) comprehensive outlook on children in the Jedi Order.

Problem is that only like 2/3rds of these are fully-written... and I still need to find the relevant clips, turn them into GIFs, etc etc.

There's many other interesting Asks in my inbox btw. But I'm already behind on all these, so I haven't begun to touch them.

Then there's the drawings.

I wanna draw a comic of the meeting between Yoda and Dooku in Dark Rendezvous. I wanna finish the comic fight between Maul and Ben. I wanna draw Mace, Shaak Ti, I've got a Luminara fan-art that was supposed to be ready for Jedi June 2022 and an Anakin drawing that looks weird. No time, nor am I skilled enough. (Like, I trace, that's what I do, it's not a secret I've said so before... but it takes me a long while to do so. I'm not fast at drawing, let alone coloring.) I could commission some of these, but there are obvious obstacles there.

There's fun tidbits I've discovered here and there but nobody will care about them and I usually try to not drown my blog with bs posts.

Then there's the bigger problem.

All the things I've listed above? I'm not 100% motivated to finish. But a lot of the new stuff I wanna write about is hella negative.

I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say about Ahsoka. But it wasn't all good. It was mostly me bitching, be it about the show or the fandom's reactions to it.

I've also got more stuff to say about Filoni's take on Star Wars, but I've talked about why it's inaccurate like 8 times already, and I don't actually dislike the guy, like there's plenty of things he knows and does that I think are awesome but also people won't stop putting him and his takes on a pedestal and--

oh shit, there's Acolyte too, I forgot about that, gray morality galore, here we come. But here too, like... I've talked a couple of times about why this entire gray morality thing is actually just the gen X-ers trying to make the prequels "cool" and "complex". but I've never explored properly, with quotes and research and shit. but i've talked about it so many times that at this point it'd end up like the Filoni rants, redundant. "we get it already." as if this show didn't have haters lined round the block for absolutely sexist reasons.

Don't get me started on the mountain of lies and/or idiocy that is the YouTuber Star Wars Theory.

And yet he said one thing a few months ago which struck a chord within me and it's the fact that Andor is awesome, excels on all levels because it's treated seriously, like a proper show, not a Disney Plus one... why wasn't Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why wasn't Book of Boba Fett? And I've already established multiple times that I enjoyed Kenobi (yes, including the Reva parts) and I've established that I know what they were going for in Fett and I've established that this is mainly a "Disney Plus didn't know how to structure a fucking show pre-WGA strike" issue more than anything else... but when I think about how these could've been treated instead? When I look at the characterizations and emotional stakes of like Fargo Season 5? It's infuriating. Because it's not bad (talking about Kenobi, BOBF is awful)... but it could've been EXCELLENT and instead it was just "okay" to "good".

I just miss live action lightsaber duels, man. Like, good ones.

and i dunno. maybe I should just let it rip on all this. "go off, king!"

but I think there's so much negativity re: Star Wars that adding my thoughts on these subjects, no matter how structured and reason, will just blend into a wave of needless, un-constructive hate.

maybe I should finish the writings in the drafts and just post them with no gifs, maybe just still images?

but doing any of that feels like a step back.

So that's where I'm at right now.

[infintasmal]

Just a heads up, when I have a bunch of drafts, I tend to like to post them all at once, especially if I've been sitting on them awhile. This way I can empty out my drafts instead of like, I post one, go back to work on the rest and someone replies so the number never goes down. It makes things more efficient for me and feels less daunting. That's not to say you should hold off on replying, I love getting responses, I just tend to be slow and get overwhelmed more easily on a multimuse.

If you've noticed I've had your reply for a while and you're wondering, please come talk to me. I swear I only bite people who like it. I am like tiny creature, more afraid of you then you are of me. ;v;

[noellewrxtes]

why no more of tupelo blues snippet?

hi anon! thank you for asking! unfortunately, i have very little free time in my personal life at the moment and not a whole lot of spare time left for writing. i also have a bunch of different wips i'm juggling so when i do have time to write i'm not necessarily working on tupelo blues.

all of that said, i'm really happy that you were interested enough to ask and it's been a while since i've posted a snippet anyway so i dug through my drafts and found this flashback scene that i like a lot and i hope you do as well! <3

Itachi crept in just after three o'clock, more than an hour after the funeral had ended and Shisui had locked himself away to be miserable in peace. He cracked the door open and knocked softly on the door frame to announce his presence, eyes watching Shisui warily like he wasn't sure if he was entirely welcome and Shisui kind of hated himself for even making it a question. 

He sighed and pushed himself into a sitting position. "Hey, what's up?" 

"Should I leave?" 

Guilt reared up within Shisui's chest, though he knew that wasn't Itachi's intention. It lingered there nonetheless, tinging his words with weariness as he answered, "No, you don't have to." 

"But should I?" 

Another wave of guilt crashed over him, this one stronger. "No," Shisui promised, exhaling his exhaustion into the air between them. "No, you shouldn't."  

Itachi's brows pulled together just slightly and his gaze watched Shisui in concern, but he stepped inside and pulled the door shut behind him, the handle making a soft click as the door settled into its frame. Itachi leaned back against it, leaving an entire room full of space between them but, god, if it didn't feel like more and, god, if Shisui wouldn't give his right arm to know how to close that gap. He didn't know. He didn't feel like he knew much of anything right then, but he knew he wanted Itachi to stop looking at him like he might bite if he wasn't careful.

Shisui held out a hand for him and looked up with tired eyes. "Come here?" 

There was a moment, brief as it was, where Itachi gazed at him with caution in his eyes and Shisui thought he was going to say no and it was going to absolutely fuck him up when he did. But he didn't--he nodded his head and pushed himself up from the door, crossed the room carefully until he was within reach and Shisui could draw him slowly, ever so gently, into a loose embrace. Itachi stood above him, running a hand through his curls, and he didn't ask Shisui where he had been or why he hadn't responded to any of his texts and that kind of made it all worse. 

In all honesty, Shisui wasn't really sure he had an explanation to give, anyway. Instead he looked up at Itachi from his seat with sad eyes and said, "I'm sorry." 

Itachi, determined to prove yet again that he was a better person than Shisui deserved, hummed and pulled Shisui's head into his stomach comfortingly. "Don't be." 

And Shisui buried his face into the fabric of Itachi's shirt and squeezed him tight and didn't cry. 

[cacodaemonia]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @lyntergalactic! :D I feel like I've done this before, but it must have been a while ago. It looks fun! (also, I'm pasting just the questions at the bottom of the post if anyone wants to copy those)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 247, though I'm not really sure what the ratio is for images versus fics... Okay, apparently, 97 of them are tagged with 'fanart' and have fewer than 100 words, so somewhere around 100 image-only works and 147 fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,141,145; which includes a few collabs and fics for which I just contributed an image.

3. What fandoms do you write for? TCW exclusively 😅 Though I've done a handful of images for other things like Arcane, Dune, Trigun, The Expanse, House of the Dragon...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A bunch of my works with the most kudos are images, but if we're talking fics, then I think it's just some of my oldest ones...

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - Fives arc fix-it and my first fic.

Orbital Decay - Codywan that I haven't edited since I posted it, so I can't vouch for the quality.

Modulation - Another one I haven't touched since I posted it, but it's an 'Echo gets rescued much earlier than in canon and he and Fives reunite' fix-it of sorts.

Will You Walk With Me? - Waxer's pov from the start of the war to the (fix-it) end, and it mostly focuses on his and Boil's friendship (Waxer & Boil or Waxer/Boil pre-relationship - take your pick). Even though this certainly isn't the best thing I've written, it's my baby. 🧡

Interference - Umbara fix-it featuring minor canon characters and some necessary OCs in the first chapter, then more major canon characters later.

More stuff below the cut, since this is a long list...

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably You're Just Harder to See Than Most, which ends very sadly on its own, but it's part of a larger fix-it including Modulation above, so Fives and Echo get reunited.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pfff like basically all of them, idk XD;

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, just on one sketch dump, where someone went through 6 chapters of spicy cloneshippy images and then decided they needed to complain about it being gross and immoral 🤣 It was hysterical kjlksahfg

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes, I'm a certified smut goblin. Not really sure what the question means by 'what kind,' but I guess 'porn with feelings' is probably the AO3 tag that would most accurately describe all of the smut I've written XD

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hm, I suppose if we're defining that as like, "what ship have you intensely shipped for the longest amount of time," it would be destiel? I was veeeeeery into that ship for many years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've had one wip sitting around for over a year, and for a while I was thinking I wasn't going to get back to it ever. But I made a little vibes playlist for it and had some help brainstorming, so I'm hopeful I can start tackling it again after I get some current stuff drafted.

16. What are your writing strengths? Starting something and working on it until it's finished.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have a lot of trouble generating ideas on my own.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine as long as it's either A. very short and clear from context or B. for some reason, the writer is intending to confuse the reader and obfuscate what was said. I know I've said it before, but I'm not gonna scroll to the bottom of a fic every few paragraphs to find the translations for whole phrases or sentences. If the amount of 'other language' starts making the dialogue difficult to follow, I'm just gonna nope out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically, I wrote one thing for Gundam Wing back in like 2000, but I can't even remember what I did with it or what it was about, exactly. Other than that, TCW.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? flsdlfg that's really difficult... idk man, if it's quality we're talking about rather than sentimentality, I'd say it's a toss-up between these three 😅:

My Heart's Red Muscle - Canon-divergent AU where Waxer is a cyborg.

Kinktober 2022 - Character studies/development through smut, where Waxer and Boil find a list of sexy things to try out, so it's kind of meta. It's from my main Open Skies AU, and I'm weirdly proud of this one XD;

We Could Breathe Underwater - Force-sensitive Waxer and Boil AU

Phew! Okay this took me like three sessions to answer, but it was fun :)

No-pressure tags: anyone who sees this and wants to do it, plus @lizardberries @elismor @bilbosmom-belladonna @valkeakuulas @petrifiedforests @marbled-polecat @writegowrite @sophronist @marbled-polecat @ivalane

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[im-a-king-baby]

Hey, I love ELYN 😭❤️

So my two fave scenes/ moments were the 'keep of the lake house for now' and 'I've been in love with him since' so any commentary will be amazing. Any extra stuff will be amazing so 🪻please 😊

Hiii <3

Gonna put these 3 under a cut because length

“So hold onto that lake house for a while longer,” he says. “Okay?”

Context: i wrote the majority of the first draft of ELYN for Nanowrimo in 2022 (basically a challenge where you write a 50k novel in the month of November) and then I rewrote and edited it over a bunch of months.

So this chapter was actually very similar to the original draft, except that in Draft 1 all of the vote fallout was in one chapter which had the Simon scene first then the Nils scene. In the editing/developing process all the non-Wilhelm characters grew a lot so I knew I wanted to expand Nil's role, and add some more Felice which meant I could bump Simon into his own chapter.

(there was absolutely not meant to be a giant posting gap between the Nils scene and the Simon scene. To be completely honest if I'd known I was going to need that long to finish the fic off I'd probably have chosen to put the gap immediately after the debate because... tension 😈)

The main places where the Simon scene got extended was in the details - Simon's life and career was not well thought through in draft 1 and a lot of the extra length across the whole fic came from building that up - but the lakehouse beat was always there because it was important that Simon's rehab process had to be something he did independent of Wilhelm, so this idea of Wilhelm offering up this house and Simon rejecting it, then clarifying that it's a 'not yet' but hopefully one day when he's in a better place.

Wilhelm's 'I keep thinking about the last time you went to L.A.' was not in the original and was one of those character beats that didn't come to me until months later, but that really pulled together Wilhelm's feelings at that moment and his reluctance to let Simon leave, and that then led really nicely back into Simon saying hang on to the house, because hopefully its not goodbye this time.

“Keira asked what was different about you,” Simon says. “I said: I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen, and I have been in love with him every day since.”

Okay so this part was possibly the slowest part of the fic to write mostly because I was still figuring out how to articulate this ending which was meant to be optimistic but not magic-wand-everything's-fixed-now. This line in particular came about because I was trying to find where Simon was sitting emotionally and ended up writing a very short therapy in L.A. scene in which Simon dropped this line and I was immediately like 'well, that has to get into the main story.'

It's a nice parallel to Wilhelm's 'I'm never going to stop being in love with him.' in chapter 8, and it highlights that the issues between them have never been a lack of love or not wanting to be together, it's always been these outside forces that they need to break away from.

Also its one of those lines that you write down and then you read it and you're like 'people are gonna quote this one back at me' and its nice when you get that right 😅

And on that theme, your 🪻 is:

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” This is the worst part of therapy. “Wilhelm.” Keira’s eyebrows twitch slightly, which is the only reaction he ever gets and means he’s surprised her. “We haven’t spoken much about Wilhelm, not since you asked if you could text him. Are you ready to tell me more about what happened between you?” “You could check the tabloids.” Her ‘you know that’s not what I meant’ look reminds him of Candace, except that she hasn’t figured out how to also convey ‘and I’m disappointed and you’re exhausting and you’d be nothing without me.’ “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” Simon absolutely can’t look at her. “I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen,” he says. “And I’ve been in love with him every day since. He’s the one I think about every time I sing a love song. Still. I have slept with - I don’t know, hundreds? - of people since I left Sweden and none of it meant anything, compared to him.” “What was it like, seeing him again?” He’d been drinking steadily in the car on the way to the benefit concert so that he’d be able to smile and read a teleprompter and not just stand there staring but it was a close thing. After his performance they’d swept him into a room where he drank champagne and smiled for the cameras. Wilhelm had touched a fingertip to his bare shoulder and Simon had wanted him so badly it hurt in places he’d thought could no longer feel anything. He doesn’t have words for that, except that it was like being in love. “He showed me I could do this,” Simon says instead. “That I could get out. That these systems we were caught up in weren’t infallible.” She frowns very slightly. “Do you think he spoke out against the monarchy for you?” Maybe? He offered once. On a cold night in his ridiculous scarf in so many words that it was Ayub who figured out what he was getting at after he’d walked away. But, no. “He did it for him. Because he needed it. And I did this for me. But there couldn’t be an ‘us’ before. Because of all those things getting in the way. And now… and maybe we both did it a bit for that. For love. Or whatever.”

[solar-wing]

Im sorry, but HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WRITE SO MANY GOOD FICS WITH THAT MANY WORDS??????

Do you have any tips for anyone planning to start writing? Can you describe how your creative thinking works? Love your work!

my exact writing process:

going from left to right:

– stare at my computer, willing the idea/scene in my head to appear on the document in words while listening to whatever inspired me on repeat. – sleep after exhausting my creative energy in such a strenuous manner. – eventually, come back to the idea/story only to end up formating the story post (story cover, author's note, summary, masterlists links, etc.) and not actually work on the story itself. – EVENTUALLY, write something and feel proud of myself for all of five minutes.

– eventually, come back and cringe at the screen wondering what the fuck I wrote and how I even got to the point I'm at. – question who I am and what I'm doing while staring at the screen, attempting again to will the scene/story I'm imagining onto the screen in a DECENT format while also wondering how the fuck it got so long. – read a notification from one of you coronal mass ejections asking me when the story I've been ignoring for months is getting updated (rightfully so) – write with passion fear, because I know if I delay any longer, one of you CMEs will eventually unite the rest of you and start a mass riot.

– stare at the post after publishing it and refresh my screen every thirty seconds to see the likes, reblogs, and comments coming in. – sleep (very important step) – eventually, read over my own work after posting it, going back in to make edits after realizing I either have a duplicated paragraph/section or a misspelled word somewhere and it's bugging the hell out of me while trying to just ignore it. – look at my inbox/drafts, trying to decide what request/draft I should finally start/finish, until I don't do that and just end up starting a new random story after getting inspired from the most random thing.

and that's it (i'm so serious, it goes exactly like that)!

but, in more seriousness, there's three crucial things to my writing creative/process.

an idea that was randomly sparked from a song or likely another post I read somewhere.

a super-powered hyperfocused spawned from ADD (attention deficit disorder) that randomly turns on and off.

drafts that have been sitting in my Google Drive for months to nearly a year.

it's funny because I'm sure people have questions of how I'm pushing upwards of 30K word fics out back to back at times, and the whole time, I'm like "This draft has been sitting here and getting slowly added to since April."

One Kent Was Enough was an idea I got last year during the summer (2023), and the draft had literally been sitting in my Google Drive and Tumblr drafts for months. Like I'm pretty sure I had a draft post of it on my old account before it got shadowbanned and I made this one..

All that to say, my writing process is pretty organic to me. It's really a reflection of my personality and how I operate in real life. Though, I I'd doubt that a lot of the stuff I put in there is unique just to me.

As far as tips I would have, the first one would be don't expect to write like your favorite author off the bat. One, you're two completely different people with different personalities, styles, likes/dislikes, etc. Two, if any of you remember how Nightwing and Shadow first came about, then you know seeing where it's gotten now has been a process. I promise I did not just start writing like this.

But, the biggest tip I would give is to just write. I saw a music artist named Doechii say this in an interview: "I have the right to be bad at something when I first start." Like I said in my process, there are many points I will look back at my work and completely hate it. Sometimes, the stories won't make sense to you or you'll feel like you've just thrown a bunch a words on the screen. It's okay.

It adds to your process because eventually, you start to learn what works best for you and what doesn't. Also, the stories end up turning out to be really well-thought-out and good in the end. I'm not joking when I say One Kent Was Enough was a literal mess at multiple points, and many times, I had no idea where I was going with the story. I literally couldn't get past the scene where the boys meet their dads and the rest of the Team for months until I had a breakthrough.

you'll eventually find your own way. just start writing 💛

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 17/12/2023

Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night

Season 2 Featured on: Rips of Christmas Past Also on: SiIvaGunner: Starter Kit & Essentials

Ripped by Nape Mango

Requested by @oetaboy!

Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it was to realize, moments after posting yesterday's post on Determination is Magic, that I'd missed the 7-year anniversary of this legendary rip? Like, I've had this request sitting in my drafts for a while, it was meant to go up in a few days from now, yet here I am with egg on my face having missed its birthday in favor of a My Little Pony rip. Ugh, well, alright, better late than never - sitting right alongside The 2:28 Collab as another rip from the same game, Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night is an absolute standout rip, and one of my fondest memories from the original Christmas Comeback Crisis event all the way back in 2016.

In a way, Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night is a bit of an amalgamation of a bunch of different things I've covered on this blog already. As a smaller-scale medley, the rip was done entirely by the legend himself Nape Mango, who I've previously established as "the GOAT" back with Chillin' Like A Villain - though he's a lot less active on SiIva nowadays, he has an immense knack for good sounding shitposts. The guy was firing on all cylinders during Season 1 and 2 in particular, also being behind Battle! The Trainer Inside Your Head!, another Christmas Comeback Crisis-themed rip from that time that I absolutely adore. Beyond Nape Mango though, the soundscape of Pokémon's fourth generation games is well explored on the channel, with rips like the aforementioned The 2:28 Collab, Eterna's Cocoon, and even rips made this year like Rearranging Furniture in the Underground Secret Base. Put simply, the jazzy sound and distinctive set of instruments featured in the game are beloved by fans and rippers alike, and for good reason.

But crucially, what Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night reminds me of most, is the same feeling I described back with It's Snowy but its snowy: its a rip that feels celebratory without being overly triumphant. A lot of the content surrounding the Christmas Comeback Crisis was very triumphant, very much so cheering us in the audience on in excitement over the start of this all-new big story event. Yet in the moments between, we'd get rips like this: rips that, while still feeling like big celebrations, ask us to sit down and reminisce, rather than stand up and clap. Just about every joke featured in its jazzy, smooth-flowing arrangement is one that was made legendary through that original season of SiIvaGunner: Flintstones, Snow Halation, Puzzle Room, mm2wood, We Are Number One - hell, that last one is likely even a reference to how it was Nape Mango himself who *started* the WANO meme on the channel! Its a rip that, even back when I first watched it, gave me this immense sense of communal joy - a toast to everything the channel had done, yet not one tinged with bittersweet melancholy like File Select Fusion Collab or other rips from the Season 1 finale.

SiIvaGunner now has been running for over seven years - and it's been seven years and a day since Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night was uploaded. The continued existence of the channel doesn't really feel like something we need to worry about anymore. Yet back then, rips like this felt like a special kind of thank-you, a reassuring hug to tell us that SiIvaGunner was only just getting started. And above all, that celebration like this is all part of the Christmas spirit.

[drac-onion]

I think LFI is done. I've come up with a summary, a title (what LFI stands for stopped being as relevant during the second draft phase), and given each chapter a name. It's been beta read twice over and the little things have been adjusted. I feel like there's more to be done, but the reality is that there isn't anything else I can do. It's polished to the best of my abilities.

All that's left is to convert it all to HTML and then pick a time to release it.

The shorter thing has to go out first, mostly cuz it's shorter, but also cuz I won't want to post a oneshot while I'm in the middle of putting up a longwork. That'd be a little weird. Also the tonal whiplash would be pretty noticeable.

But who knows? Maybe I'll end up sitting on the shorter stuff for longer just to have something to put up during the inevitable drought between LFI1 and the next thing.

LFI2?

LFI1.5?

Working titles are hard. But I had tons of ideas during the writing process that I wanna work on. And a bunch of oneshots that will find their way down the pipeline eventually. I'm gonna have to make an AO3 series thing at this point, considering they all take place during the same "canon" now. BTM-verse?

Once again, working titles are hard.

Anyway. It's weird. It's just weird. I never thought I'd get this far. It feels like there would never be a time where I wasn't working on it, but I've worked on it and worked on it and asked people what they thought and it's to the point where there's nothing else to do to it. It's as good as it's going to get at this point.

I have to move on.

But man, if it isn't super hard to get into that mindset. It hasn't really hit me yet and probably won't until it's officially up. A little bit of fear has set in, but again, that will likely ramp up as I get closer to posting it.

What if it isn't good?

What if it reads poorly?

What if it's boring?

Effort isn't everything. I could spend a year on a marble sculpture but time+effort doesn't always equal quality.

Creativity is hard.

Hopefully this is the last major update before it goes up. Before the year is up, for sure. Definitely. Maybe. Hopefully?

(Shameless plug) it'll be on my AO3, so go ahead and subscribe if you haven't already. Or I'll have posts on here when the chapters come out. Either or. It's cool, promise. I should also do some promo and actually put up the summary at some point.

You may have noticed that I'm treating this sort of like a content creator would, and that's just because I find the process fun. Building hype, considering a schedule, things like that. Sure, it's in service to nobody because it's not like I'm some big name, but take it till ya make it, right? I'm not doing this for fame, just for fun, but it's fun to treat it like it's bigger and more important than it is.

It'd be more cool and stoic of me to release it without saying anything and pretend I'm so confident in my abilities that I don't care what anyone else thinks, but that wouldn't be genuine. I like seeing behind the scenes, and I think there's a lot involved in the creative process other than the actual creative process. There's a lot of doubt and confusion and hair pulling involved, so if there's someone out there who perceived creators as perfect beings that release stuff, then allow me to show you behind the curtain of the chaos and mess that is all this. It's all for the love of the craft. If I didn't enjoy the writing process so much, I wouldn't even bother. So don't worry. If you're flying by the seat of your pants, trying to figure out how other people write and seem like they know what they're doing, rest assured that I'm here to be an example of someone who's just making it up as they go along. For the love of the craft and enjoyment of the process.

Anyway. That's the end of this little update and ramble.

Stay tuned. Like and subscribe or whatever, etc. idk

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

I've been following you for a while, and I'm so happy you got published! I have a story idea but no idea how to even start writing a book, let alone get it published. Do you have any tips for someone just starting the process?

Hi Anon! Thank you!! :D

Honestly, at this stage I think the best advice I can give you is to write the damn book. It sounds super obvious, right? But if your end goal is to get published it is REALLY easy to get bogged down in all the things you "need" to do to make it happen.

But the reality is that having a huge following on publishing twitter and 50k followers on BookTok and an amazing website and a regularly updating newsletter and a selection of really fancy headshots won't mean anything unless you've also got a manuscript.

So: write it. But like. HOW.

I mean. You just gotta sit down and do it. Which sucks. Here's you vs this big empty page and you have to fill it with words and AAAAAAAAA!!! SCARY!!

So... here's my advice!

If the start is too scary, don't start there. The first thing I wrote for Hartswood is on page 277. Don't know the beginning yet, or find it too intimidating to write? Skip it. Write the bit you're mad about first.

Related: if you want to write out of order, you can. Write the scenes that have grabbed you by the lapels and are demanding to be written.

Let the first draft be hot stinky garbage. The first draft is there so the book exists. The edits are there so the book is actually good.

Write every day, if you can. Set yourself a REALLY low word count to meet every day and try to hit it. And if you can't write on any one day, that's fine! Don't beat yourself up about it: life comes first.

Make yourself a private discord server that's just for you. Make a bunch of channels - ideas you want to include, changes you want to make, memes and funny shit related to your story. This way, when you wake up at 1am with an idea/worry, you can post it in there and its WAY easier to keep track of than a notes app.

Find someone to talk to about your story - whether that's just a friend to squeal with, someone to rubber duck at or a beta reader for edits. Its so much easier - and more fun! - if you've got someone else excited with you.

Skip the bits you can't write. Not sure if you've chosen the best word or need to do more research about something but are in the flow of writing? Throw that sucker into [square brackets] and come back to it later. It's better to ctrl+F it and fix it later than derail yourself by falling down a research rabbit hole now.

I hope that helps, Anon!! I love you 💖

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

TW! Brief mention of suicide attempt (One of the imagines Im writing is kind of centered around it) Proceed with caution please! You're loved & my dms are open if you ever need to talk.

Dude... I got two imagines sitting in my drafts right now, neither of which am I sure I actually want to post because they're miles long. Honestly, the first was inspired by a dream & is unfinished but this one I've been working on for most of today has therapeutic as fuck. Both of them are Eddie Diaz x Reader. The first is like Eddie & Reader haven't been speaking bc Eddie has been ignoring her so Buck & Tommy take matters into their own hands. The other is very heavy. Reader attempts unaliving herself & lands in somewhat of a coma bc of it. While she's under, she watches a bunch of memories with the 118 & family & realizes why she never should have tried to give up, now if she can just wake up. The entire thing is heavily inspired by Hold On by Chord Overstreet. Do y'all want them or should they stay in my drafts???