#I've been feeling more souless
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I think it's angst time >:)
Maybe Pav and Gayatri are having their first-ever serious couple argument, and Reader just happens to walk in the room at the wrong time, causing them to either snap or yell at you. Or maybe Readers teasing goes too far, and feelings get hurt?
Maybe there could even be a chase scene, I think that would be pretty fun :3
(Anyways, this is the first pavitr gayatri anon, I've decided to name myself "Partly Cloudy Anon" based on the current weather here lmao. The Yandere Pav and Gayatri honestly had been kicking my legs!! I really love you you emphasized they weren't just lovesick for you, but also for each other!
Most yandere couples I've read had them be normal about each other and while that is fun to read, there's just something so intriguing about Pavitr and Gayatri being just as yandere for each other just as they are for the reader. I can't really put a word to it right now, but I'm just so invested in them <3. I've been rambling for quite a while now, so have a good day!)
-Partly Cloudy Anon
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙯𝙚

Cw: Poly!gn!reader x Pavitr Prabhakar x Gayatri Singh, arguing, aged up!characters, gaslighting, manipulation, toxic relationship,
Notes: For the most part is not yandere, but I imagined this as the moment the relationship would become more consuming eventually leading to the things I said in the yandere headcanons.
Thank you so much for your words 🥺 and I'm happy you picked an anon name, sorry if this took kinda long, I hope you have a nice day<3
You came back from work, took the key from your pocket and before you opened the door, you heard your partners raising their voices, this isn't an unfamiliar noise to get to, but this time you didn't heard any laughs along with it, you entered the doorway and as you came to the hall, the words being _yelled_ instead of spoken became more clear, you stood worried in the doorway outside of the room
"You don't understand what I'm trying to even say! You don't want to listen!"
"Maybe I don't want to listen because it's all shit excuses!"
You slightly flinched at their voices being so aggressive, you figured it'd be best if you left for a bit until they solved whatever they had going on, so you walked towards the front door, moving carefully. The fighting seemed to get closer, but you heard one particularly loud yell, it was Pavitr's.
"I don't want to hear anything from you!" The door was slammed
You cursed your luck as you stood very rigid and still while Pavitr approached. "Y/N... Are you going away?" His voice cracked and he sounded out of breath, he reached for your wrist, never hurting it. Gayatri followed him "What do you mean she's going away?" She sounded so hurt, almost mad.
You spoke, calmly, afraid they'll get you in between of what they were fighting again, you never head them had an argument before, in all the years you were together, but this one seemed bad, and you'd hate to take sides, you were dating both and loved them both, and it was okay if they had disagreements sometimes, but you didn't want to think about what would happen if it escalated. "I want you to resolve your differences, I really don't want to be in between" fear flashed past their eyes, so you quickly shut down what they were thinking "I mean going somewhere else for the afternoon, I'll be back, I'm not leaving"
Pavitr's grip became tighter.
"But you are, you are leaving." He said shakily
"You can't leave, I- it's not my fault, you can't leave if I-" Gayatri's sweet voice sounded darker than ever
You've never seen him like this, and it started upsetting you "You don't decide when I leave, I told I'll be back" you stand firm, setting a boundary, you shake your hand hoping he'll let you go, but he doesn't, he just stares at you.
Gayatri looks at you with the same souless expression. "Don't." It's all she says
"Let me go!" You are bewildered at both their sudden change of demeanor, and how rapidly they forgot their feud.
You violently shake your hand and Pavitr lets go out of surprise, you hurry to the door and start running outside, you never thought you'd have run from your loving partners, your highschool sweethearts. You run towards the street market, hopefully it'll be easier to hide.
You feel them running towards you, they see you disappear into the crowded street, Pavitr feels the urge to run and run no matter what, until he finds you, but he refuses to leave Gayatri behind, she's slowly dancing on the edge of goal-directed apathy and losing her mind, at one moment she begs her boyfriend to find you no matter what, but then she sees him get away and fears for abandonment, she needs him close, she loves, she can't lose him, she doesn't care for an argument, she doesn't even care for morals, she cares about having the people she loves by her side. Always by her side
You heard them get close, you moves in circles, waves, careful mentally choreographed steps, with so much intricacy it felt like you were dancing. Like a tango, no, not like that, you weren't being seduced, you were getting chased. Like a cueca, you evaded, dodged their advances, while they ran and showed their might, their craving to have you.
You reached a dark alley, and you realized there was no way out, you reached the end, you turned your back to the wall and looked at both in the eye, Gayatri's usually slicked and perfectly styled hair was now sweaty and messy, Pavitr's golden retriever smile was now a manic gaze and tensed muscles. You stand on your feet firm, straightened spine, talking with authority, hiding the knot of complicated feelings you had building inside you.
"I won't love you anymore if you hurt me. I want an explanation to why you chased me down the streets like I'm a runaway prisoner."
"We won't hurt you, we just wanted to talk"
"You think you can fight and take it out on me? Is this what this is about? Because you seem pretty damn close since you started chasing me"
"We'll never do that, I was scared, we were scares you wouldn't love us because we were loud and mean, it was just a disagreement, you didn't do anything wrong, Y/N" your boyfriend was so sickeningly sweet you would have find him cute if not for the obsessive dark look in his brown eyes, paired with his buff figure blocking your way, keeping you from escaping.
"You just ran into the street, we were worried, right Pav? You were erratic, we thought you could hurt yourself" Gayatri sounded so genuinely concerned you could believe her if you hadn't been there. "Relationships have bumps, meeri jaan, that doesn't mean you can run away like that" she came closer, you flinched.
"I'm sorry we triggered you, we should've known better, knowing everything you went through" she was using the things you told her, the things you trusted her to know "but as you see, we worked it out, we just want you back so we can talk about it" she held your hand in hers, oh so delicately.
You mourned for your lovers, for the truly beautiful love you had, for the ones that wouldn't snap at you for being near the door, wouldn't gaslight you and treat you like you were stupid or crazy, for the ones that wouldn't make you feel small, unworthy. And you looked at them now, nothing left of them.
They couldn't have changed just one day, and you wonder when the switch truly went off, when does a man become a monster?
#I feel like this one wasn't particularly angsty so feel free to request again#atsv x reader#atsv pavitr#gayatri singh#pavitr prabhakar#pavitr x gayatri#pavitr x reader#gayatri x reader#spiderverse pavitr#pavitr x you#pavitr prabhakar x reader#yandere spiderverse#yandere pavitr#yandere pavitr Prabhakar#pavitr prabhakar x you#partly cloudy anon
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AI Art and Goth
I'm going to be yelling into the void here, I know, but I want to get this out there because it's frustrating and I just need to yell about it okay lol. It's my blog, I'll complain if I want to.
So, recently there's been some discussion online about bands/record labels in the goth scene potentially using AI generated "art" for their album/single covers. Why does this matter, to me? It matters because as an artist myself, I know the time that goes into creating a piece. The hours, months, and years I've spent laboring away at something that means so much to me. A piece of my soul is in every little drawing or painting I make with intention. My art is my mark in this huge world and evidence that I existed. It's an extension of my feelings and thoughts and loves. That's what art means to me.
On the other side, you have ai generators. On top of frankensteining images from the internet at large, they can also steal pictures or artworks and overlay filters on top of them to make them look like the generator made them. (So I've learned today, which makes me very upset and I also learned what "scraping" means.)
So with that said, I'm sure anyone would understand why record labels maybe using ai instead of hiring artists to create an original piece OR using the huge selection of public domain works that are available is frustrating and an ethics issue. Right? Especially those people that are a part of a subculture that is based on an art form - music. Right?? Apparently that's not the case because there was waaay too many people for comfort arguing that it doesn't matter. "Who cares if they're using ai art?" ... "It doesn't look like ai art to me, stop this holy crusade." ... "This is just rage bait." ... "What about sampling used in music? It's the same thing." To that last one especially, NO IT IS NOT, THANK YOU LOL. Artists interacting with another artist's work and transforming it is not the same as a computer stealing images and spitting out a monstrosity. You might tune your inputs to get a certain outcome, but that computer is doing all the work, all the composing, it's placing everything in that image. Why don't people understand what art means?
Whether or not these suspicious cover arts are in fact ai is up for debate, I'm not arguing that. (Though after personally reaching out to one record label about it and having received the most vague answer possible where they didn't even address my questions fully, I'm even more convinced that they're probably using ai.) What I'm arguing here is that it shouldn't be acceptable, from an ethical and moral standpoint. I don't want souless ai generated pictures to become the norm in the subculture. I want artists to support each other. I want the goth community to support it's artists and musicians. The use of ai art cheapens art in the worst way and harms artists and I cannot vibe with anyone who thinks otherwise.
If you read all this, thanks for taking the time.
#gothgoth#goth music#aiart#aigenerated#noaiart#antiaiart#downwithai#please send help i'm going to explode
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How to train your dragon Live Action rant
Full disclosure, I've never really cared either or about the live actions, I'd rather they didn't exist but I'm not hugely vocal about it purely because I'd rather just draw or watch the originals. The only thing about remakes that, I guess, interests me are the soundtracks. Since Disney has remade a lot of their old classics made in the 1900's, I am always a little intrigued to see what they do with the songs since they're so iconic. But overall, still not a fan of the remakes, and would pick the originals anyday
But the HTTYD remake...I'm genuinely really pissed off that Dreamworks is now making live action movies. Not only that, but I've been seeing on instagram that there are now HTTYD BOOKS, with illustrations done in the style of the Live Action movie and, I didn't expect this to bother me so much, but it genuinely makes me feel sick and gross that this is happening to HTTYD
Whenever Disney has made a live action remake the internet is so quick to shit on it, and fair enough, why is it Dreamworks gets a pass?? I love HTTYD, the ANIMTED movie, but all I see for the live action movie is praise
I'll be one of the few to say it: This movie isn't that great. While Toothless's live action design is very loyal to the animated design in the original, his big eyed, round stubby design makes him feel off in basically his own movie. When you compared Toothless to the other dragons he looks cutesy-fied, which is likely for marketing, but Toothless in this live action remake just..doesn't feel like a nightfury. He doesn't embody the "unholy offspring of lightning and death itself" that made Toothless from the first movie so mysterious and cool!
I've said this already but Toothless in the original animated movie felt so swift and savage, elegant and fast. In the Live Action he feels too big and clunky, his design looks like he should be plodding along kinda like how a bear would move. He just doesn't feel right
The dragon designs outside of Toothless feel fine they look okay, but if you put them next to Toothless they look like they're from two different movies
The director of the live action is the same director who worked on the animated film, and has said that they're going to remain loyal to the original script. They have literally admitted they're recycling the script from the original movie, slapping some CGI in there, and branding it as a ''New Live Action Version'' - when no, that's not how you make a movie
With the bangers Dreamworks has been pushing out lately like The Wild Robot (though based on a book it is a stunning movie for the emotions it gives you), Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and the recently stylized Dogman (which I believe is also based off a book), as well as other amazing movies they've made like Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2, HTTYD 2, The Bad Guys, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, The Prince of Egypt, Megamind, I could go on...foolish of me to think Dreamworks would be above making the easy choice to create Live Action movies of already perfectly beloved animated movies they've made
I've seen people make complaints about Nico being cast as Astrid, which I don't think is even worth getting upset over, and is also hugely unfair towards the actress when you consider how I have seen NO BODY make this same fuss about the casting for the twins. It's just her that's been getting backlash as far as I know. To clarify, I've never been all that fixated on castings in movies, if an actor can successfully bring a character to life then fair play to them....my main gripe is that the actors also feel off in their performances, mostly Hiccup
Hiccup in the live action movie, based on the trailers, feels more like an angsty teenager. In the original animated movie Hiccup was seen as whimpy, but he had moxy, he was sarcastic at times but he was also a hugely anxious and awkward kid. In the live action, it feels like all his charm has gone
This entire film just feels so...souless and void of passion, the CGI looks great from a technology standpoint, but otherwise? There's no creativity in this film, they're just replaying the animated movie in a different way. And what's saddest is that I KNOW this movie is going to do well, it's HTTYD, I just know it's going to do well at the box office
Which means Dreamworks, especially with the opening of their new HTTYD park, will most definitely try to remake the second and third movie. Which we DON'T NEED
This movie is gross, uncreative, boring, garbage. It's made purely to cash in on nostalgia in an effort to make easy money from fans, branding it as Live Action even though 50% - maybe more - of the movie will be CGI to make it seem more "adult like" because "animation is just for kids" and can't be enjoyed by a wide range of ages
HTTYD the original movie is a heartfelt classic, and as a young kid, was not only the first dreamworks movie I watched that got to me emotionally, but also kicked off my dragon phase. I still had my Toothless action figure I got for my birthday
Live action movies can suck an egg, go watch the animated movie instead to give the finger to whatever shmucks at Dreamworks approved this idea
#rant#I genuinely hate the httyd live action movie and that it exists#The executives at Dreamworks can keep their grubby greedy mits off my boy Toothless#infact keep your grubby hands off this franchise#you don't love it like I do#HTTYD
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Thoughts on Rumble and Savage?
I LOVE RUMBLE AND SAVAGE!! I actually have a bit of mixed ideas for what I've wanted to do with them, but I've never been able to settle on anything, mostly due to a lack of feedback. Which I realize Tumblr could be helpful with.
Putting em under a cut cuz I feel like I ended up talking a lot pffft, I haven't really gotten to talk about my ideas much.
So I really like the common concept of them being the children of Macaque, I've dabbled with it the most since it's truly the most fun to work with, in my opinion. 3rd pic is my most recent concept with specifically Rumble having the more canon skeletal face (black/red version optional) and thin body while Savage looks more like Macaque themselves with just skeletal facial markings.
The idea was Rumble unknowingly being a reincarnation of a certain bone demon... S5's end including elemental abilities only helps to make this work out better.
I'm honestly more stuck on Savage specifically, though. I don't really have too much personality in mind for him yet and I've almost considered just making him more like Macaque's concept art for the twins in being more "souless" since I considered the idea that originally Macaque was meant to reincarnate into Savage's body once LBD succeeded in her reset, but since that never happened Savage was left as a (more feral) husk of sorts.

Aaaand obviously an alternative origin for them is on my post for my Possessed Macaque/Samadhi Fire AU title the "Samadhi King AU", which can be found here.
#lego monkie kid#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#macaque#six eared macaque#rumble and savage#lmk rumble#lmk savage#lady bone demon#ask#anonymous#// I'm bad at talking and will kinda just word vomit thoughts sorry
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Uuuuuuuuu
I've been seeing alot of omegaverse asks,
If you don't mind, what are your thoughts on Alpha!Souless Sam?
Since Souless!Sam runs purely on apathetic logic, would he feel entitled to O!Dean as per his Alpha instinct or would he simple default on logic? (Because being reliant on his Alpha instinct serves no actual purpose in irl)
(Like, if he wants some action, he could just go to the nearest bar/corner and get his fix, why does he need Dean for anyway?)
hi!!!!
i cannot even express to you how excited i am to talk about this!!!!
in general, i think while a kind of detatched logic would pervade his attitude towards dean, soulless!sam has been established to be somewhat of a hedonist.
he pays for sex, he takes advantage of it whenever and wherever he can, even if it gets in the way of a case (e.g., the fairy/ufo episode). instead of picking an innocuous convenient car, he picks a flashy new model with nice amenities. he pushes sam's body into extremes of physical fitness despite it not being strictly necessary for his lifestyle.
so i think a lot of his interactions with an omega!dean would be ruled by...well...his dick. and what he thinks he's entitled to.
honestly i can see this going a lot of ways, and will discuss all of them now, lol!
path one: dean lets sam mate him as soon as he gets back
in this path, dean probably begged sam to mate him before sam jumped into the cage, but sam said no. he knew what it would do to dean, so he refused.
but as soon as dean wakes up in that shack, and sam is rightthererightthererightthere, dean is on him and they probably go at it absolutely ferocious style in that ramshackle lean-to, and dean is dripping wet and freaking out because he absolutely thinks he's dead and this is heaven.
he begs sam to mate him, and sam thinks, all-in-all, it'll probably be convenient to be able to have more of a handle on dean, whom he knows is a bit of a wild card.
in this one (assuming we're going with mating bites can communicate some kind of emotion/sense of self), the mating bite hurts. it's fucking agony, because dean is flooding sam with so much raw hurt, relief, joy, and lovelovelove and dean is getting NOTHING back.
dean has heard all this stuff about mating bites from other omegas, and from his dad especially, who when he was drunk would describe how empty his mind feels after mary died.
and this...kind of feels like that. it's no fucking fairytale, but dean doesn't need a fairytale, he needs sam, so he can deal with the rest.
he thinks so, anyway.
because sam doesn't sleep. and dean never feels anything from their bond at all. dean thinks maybe he's suppressing parts of it due to trauma, so he's even more freaked out when sam shrugs him off like 'hell wasn't even that big of a deal...so...don't remember anything ig want to get hot dogs?'
sex with sam is...empty. sam throws him around like an alpha would and only takes him from behind in a proper mating position and leaves right after.
it's like sam is reciting textbook steps on how alphas are supposed to be, and none of it is dean's little brother.
for probably the first time in dean's whole fucking life, he refuses sex. and sam...doesn't even care. he shrugs when dean finally fights him off, and goes out to a bar.
having dean's emotions so readily available is really fucking annoying for sam, but at least he can know when dean is suspicious of him. he can approximate an appropriate response when dean is feeling sad or hurt or betrayed. it takes a lot of the guesswork out of dean's reactions to things, which is helpful.
but a cunt is a cunt, and sam can fulfill his needs elsewhere.
sam would probably find it interesting when he cheats on dean. he can feel the physiological changes that come with a mating bond shattering, and picks at the open wound of his mating bite with the cool assessment of someone pulling off dragonfly wings.
he doesn't feel the agony that comes with it, of course, just the twangs in his chest, the weird chanting in his brain that this is wrongwrongwrongnotmatenotmatenothimhimhimhim
while dean is writhing back at the motel, throwing up so hard he feels like his teeth are going to fall out, sweating through his shirts and ripping at his hair just to get this thing GONE.
he knows exactly what sam is doing. knows that the thing in his brother is snapping the tethers in his mind, can almost feel the way sam's hips are slamming into some anonymous body miles away.
(secretly, in my head, i like to think that sam actually offers dean up to some locals for a night in exchange for information because he literally owns this bitch and sam knows he's not getting dick from anywhere else. the only reason it doesn't work is because the bartender gets so furious he kicks sam out and when dean comes running out like hey man what happened, sam just shrugs and says the other guys tried to start a fight.)
path two: they were mated the whole time
in this one, dean's barely alive. whether he convinced sam to mate him in the week leading up to the cage, or they were mated as soon as dean got back from hell, they're together.
which means that when sam died at the cemetery, dean's been a shell of a person for a year. he shows up on lisa's doorstep as practically a dead man, the snapped mating bond tearing his psyche into ribbons.
when sam practically kidnaps him, dean collapses into him, completely and utterly and completely at peace for the first time in a year and change. he can't believe it. his mate--his brother--is back back back back back. it's like being let above ground after a year of being chained to a rock in a cave, and dean gulps down breaths of fresh air greedily.
something's...not right, of course. sam probably takes dean to bed that night and bites on the bond, and it doesn't feel...right. not like when sam gave it to him.
i think in this scenario, sam looks at dean a lot more like property than he would otherwise. he orders him to do things. he snaps at him quick. he doesn't like that dean doesn't do what he says.
and, unfortunately, i think this would probably translate into more violent things. dean is sam's omega. his only job is to be a hole, why doesn't he fucking get it?
i think this is how dean would primarily know something is wrong with sam. sam treats him like a fleshlight. he treats dean like every knothead from here to alaska has always treated omegas like dean.
i think sam would eventually logic his way into dean not being worth the fight. if his omega has moved on, sam should too. he starts sleeping around, and we end up in the same position we do in path one.
i also think sam's alpha instinct in this scenario would irritate him the most, because it's the deepest, and he's had it the longest. he can't feel the fury that dean being hurt would usually inspire, but he feels antsy like a bodily need isn't being met.
sam's probably also the least physically satisfied in this pathway, as the line between emotional and physical satisfaction is inextricably linked through the mating bond.
when this one breaks, it's a physiological nightmare. sam doesn't understand why he sometimes passes out in the middle of the day, why he can't force his brain to focus, why his body is stuck in a constant fight-or-flight. he feels the constant need to hover over dean, so he over-corrects by avoiding him as much as possible, leaving dean to mourn a ten-year-bond completely alone. dean is a walking corpse again, deadly and furious and devastated.
he won't let sam near him for almost a year after sam gets his soul back, and the emotion of the returned soul breaks sam in half when the broken bond registers.
so not only has sam essentially been raped by his body, his one tenuous link to sanity has been severed. stone number one is their first conversation where dean touches him, and sam completely collapses. he falls at dean's feet a cries and cries and cries.
path three: they were never mated, and they don't mate
this is probably the one with the least consequences for them both, so i personally think it's the least fun, but let's still talk about it!
they can still absolutely be having non-mated sex. if this happens, sam might try to manipulate dean into mating, just so he can have that insight into dean's emotions/reactions as i mentioned in path one.
it's a chess move, but dean probably mistakes it at first as being territorial since dean just spent a year with lisa and ben. he's probably a little flattered, until sam says something "off" about it. sam also kind of presents it like getting food from burger king instead of mcdonalds. like "we can mate tonight if you like? or we can try tomorrow if you're tired."
and sam, who at age 12 tried literally biting the hand off of an alpha that cornered dean in a gas station, would literally never ask something like this, dean is like hm....something is wrong here...
sam still absolutely sleeps around, maybe even just because dean is in the shower and sam is horny. dean can't feel it per se, but smells other omegas on him.
as the season goes on, sam gets less and less interested in dean, and barely reacts at all when dean is threatened or upset or harassed by alphas in public.
or, if their feelings are still in Repression Mode, and they are, for all intents and purposes, two regular brothers, sam still gets annoyed when dean doesn't fall over to his commands.
as you mentioned, anon, alpha instinct has no logical purpose, but hierarchy does.
he remembers that dean would obey dad's orders, and as the now reigning family alpha, expects obedience. maybe this gets violent, maybe it doesn't, but he doesn't take kindly to some omega trying to get a rise out of him.
it's never to the point where sam goes, like, alpha rage, because that's not what he's about. it's annoying that a hole thinks he knows better than sam does. but if a fight doesn't fix it (i'm talking WWE smack-down full-tilt fight) then sam shrugs it off. the hole has a nice ass. and eyes that make something in sam feel...off. like the feeling of almost sneezing but not quite being able to manage it. something should be happening, for sure, but...nothing ever does.
you probably weren't looking for a 1.7k word, multi-focal analysis of how i think their established and continuing relationship dynamics would affect them but uhhh...here we go?
thank you so much for this ask, anon!!! this was super interesting and fun to think about! <3 mwah!!!!
i hope you found it fun to read :)
-lizzy
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Playing Persona 4 Golden again from the start. Aiming to actually finish it this year and play consistently so that I don't run into the issue I've been having where I don't play it for months and forget literally everything that's happening lol.
I will say, and this is similar to what I think about Persona 3, I don't think it needs a remake. It would be great if it got one, sure, but it really doesn't need it. Because a remake, I think, would fundamentally change how the game feels: it's atmosphere and it's tone. Whilst Persona 3 Reload looks absolutely stunning (especially the menus - holy shit), you can't really deny that it feels different to the original (and FES and Portable). Yeah, it's probably because those games are way older, and were made for different hardware with different hardware limitations, but the original just feels like it captures its themes better because of the way it looks and plays. Granted, I haven't finished P3, either, but yeah. I feel like Persona 4 (and Golden, as well) would lose a core part of itself if it was remade in "today's standard"/a post-Persona 5 world. And I'm not talking about the story, although the visuals and overall vibe can help inform and convey the story. I'm talking about how it looks and feels. I take in the muted colours and the hazy environments and the fog and the noise and the way sunlight and the sky looks and I just don't know how or why they'd even attempt to replicate it when they've already hit the nail on the head. Same with Persona 3. The limitations those game had placed on them in terms of how it could look and feel made them look and feel better, in my opinion. I booted up Persona 3 and I felt scared. I felt out of my depth. Something felt off, and oppressive, and unknown, and it was gritty and crunchy, and the visuals and gameplay pushed that, and I feel like that was what it was meant to convey. I booted up Reload and it felt polished and shiny, and it looked amazing, but I didn't feel that same sense of dread, or feel oppressed, or really get to experience a slice of how the protagonist viewed himself or the world, which was definitely conveyed in how the original looked. But then you also have the stunning lens flares and sunlight streaks and rainbows and particle effects in the older P3 games that Reload can't even rival. Not to mention that the original P3 was quite an experimental game, especially from an aesthetic point of view (it's visuals; it's music; it's presentation). It definitely wasn't in the mainstream eye when it came out in the same way that Persona 5 was. I'm not saying that something being more mainstream is bad or that it ruins everything and makes it look souless. I don't think they set out to intentionally make Persona 3 Reload "worse" (even though it's not worse, per se, it's just different in a way that I don't think captures why the original worked in the way it did). I don't even blame them for wanting to remake it in this way. But I just don't vibe with the remake as much. I don't know if this makes any sense, and, of course, Reload looks and plays fantastically, but, from an atmospheric standpoint, it just doesn't feel the same, and I don't think that's necessarily a good thing in this regard, at least for me.
Anyway, the only reason I'd want a remake of Persona 4 Golden is if they actually make Yosuke a romance option in it, because it makes his whole storyline and relationship with Kanji more interesting. Obviously, and I feel like I don't even need to say this, homophobia is bad even if it's internalised, but it would just make so much more sense if Yosuke was a romance option considering how he reacts to and interacts with people and situations in the game already. I do love that his relationship with the protag can be viewed as platonic or romantic or anything in between or removed, but just having the option there would do his character a world of good, I think.
They should port the older Persona games (the original; 2; etc.), or, if they must do more remakes, remake those ones, even though I think they'd run into the same issue I just described regarding the games feeling entirely different due to their visuals and such being remade. But I feel like they should give the older games some love, y'know? I haven't played them, but I fully intend to, because I've heard great things about them. And I feel like if I played them for the first time and there were remakes, I'd want to play the originals for the same reasons I've mentioned.
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40 days
The house had gone quiet after a book had been slammed shut with such a force the sound had leaked through the closed door and reached out their ears as a threat, the low groan that followed startled them as though a lightning had struck their chests. In silent agreement the inhabitants of the gloomy manor tiptoed upstairs towards the room where the muffled screams were coming from.
"I am aware of the fact I must do as you say, however on this occasion my final answer is a no".
A deep sigh was audible, and the eavesdroppers could picture the eyes rolling that accompanied such sound.
"Lucifer..." the always friendly yet commanding voice uttered with a slight hue of a plead. "I have no option here, refusing it could lead us to another war, you know. And that's not good for anyone, it won't change anything, it's just a protocol... he promised".
"I know better than trusting father's promises", as usual, the words were expressed with resent, however, this time, pain could also be perceived in his voice.
Silence followed to such statement, they were surprised father was mentioned, and they knew that name could only mean trouble, the curiosity they had been feeling was slowly replaced with the growing concern encroaching their hearts, they held their breaths for some minutes waiting for the conversation to continue.
"You have to do it, Lucifer, I wish I could do something in order to prevent that from happening because I know how much pain it brings to you, but as the next in line for the Devildom's throne I seek for peace between your father and us".
Another sigh, one that made the ones listening on the other side of the door feel sorrow.
"Tempting this new favourite human of his to prove if he'll remain loyal after he makes him go through more suffering than his body and heart can bare sounds souless"
"I have to agree, especially since he claims he's his son, the best one, but I don't have any right to interfere".
"He hasn't changed one bit, and I still don't understand what he wants from us... I used to be his favourite too at some point, he punished me and my brothers for my lack of obeying due to unfair matters, now he's repeating his actions, maybe he's afraid he'll turn his back at him as I did when he finds out he only cares about power, for his own good I hope he's able to thrive".
"Even if he does..." Diavolo muttered, and then stopped himself.
"Even if he does? What's that supposed to mean?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow, fearing about that man's fate.
"I've heard he's been condemned ever since he was born, he's had plans about his death, which are not pleasant by the way".
Everyone including Lucifer felt a shiver running down their spines.
"There must be another option".
"You know your father better than I do. You have to leave tomorrow and take water with you because these thirty days in the desert will be tough, that guy will be put on a test, and he'll be fastening for the thirty days, at least you won't have to do through that, come to my office tomorrow, I'll hand you the instructions given by the Celestial Realm".
Everyone was in shock after hearing those sentences and five out of the six demons listening, trembled, as they remembered the pain and suffering, they had been forced to face and feared for the fate of the man Diavolo and Lucifer were talking about. They looked at each other, sharing their sorrow, except for Satan who seemed oblivious to it, as he knew the story but had not witnessed it completely. Heavy steps reached the door and it soon opened without notice, the sorrow was replaced by surprise, the now uncovered six demons ran towards their rooms and Diavolo chuckled at the sight, it had not annoyed him, he always found the demon brothers' shenanigans hilarious.
"So... Lucifer has to tempt this guy" Leviathan summarised while his body trembled... "Because father wants to prove if he'll stay by his side even if he tortures him?"
"And Lucifer will have to do the dirty work? How's that fair? Everyone will think he's all evil" Asmodeus stated with a concerned look on his face.
"He's not though?" Satan frowned; he had been trying to retrieve his memories from the celestial war, he had been able to see a bit through Lucifer's eyes, but it was like a blurred picture, where everything he was able to distinguish was blood, "He's a sadist, that's what he does".
"It'll be humiliating for him". Beelzebub sighed and left the rice he was having aside. "Having to fulfill father's orders after being treated the way he was treated and having to pretend everything that's happening it's because of him... that's sad".
The six of them remained silent and thinking and left early to bed, Lucifer didn't leave his office for the rest of the day, and they knew probably they'd find a brief explanation letter about his absence the next morning.
No demon in the House of Lamentation was able to sleep that night, all of them remained quiet within their bedrooms as they were too concerned and didn't want to create additional trouble for their eldest brother, except for Lucifer's archenemy who left the house without being noticed and way earlier than the eldest.
"It has to be him?"
Diavolo nodded, but Satan could see the lack of confidence in his eyes, something that was not usual.
"It's not stated in the instructions, but Michael said it had to be him".
Satan took the sheets of expensive paper covered with golden letters that resumed everything Lucifer had to do.
"Let me do it, as long as his name is not in the contract it doesn't matter", Diavolo knew Satan had acquired vast knowledge due to the time he spent in the library, and while it was a risky decision, yet Satan was willing to help and it would save Lucifer from the humiliation, so he nodded, "leave before your brother finds out".
It took Satan two days in order to get to the dessert where the appointment was, he knew by then Lucifer was far behind, when he arrived he wrapped himself in a black sheet that covered him from head to toes just leaving his green eyes at sight. He noticed a young man on his knees praying by a huge rock. Satan intentions were not following the instructions as they had been told because while he still hold some kind of resent against Lucifer and he loved to annoy him, he didn't appreciate the Celestial Realm meddling in their affairs, they had been kicked out of it, now why they should obey them? It definitely had nothing to do with the fact he didn't want Lucifer to be humiliated by his father again.
Satan took a second but finally walked towards him.
"So, are you the son of God?" he asked casually, feeling the awkwardness of the situation raising, he could see the other man was nervous and scared, he didn't even dare to look at Satan directly in the eye as he continued praying in silence with his eyes closed, Satan sighed and cleared his throat, he didn't like to be ignored.
"Go away creature of darkness, no matter what you say I won't not listen to your evil words".
Satan sighed and sat by his side, surprisingly he didn't feel anger, even considering he was the avatar of wrath. Seeing that man in such condition made him feel bad. He was nervous, scared and he could see the uncertainty in his face, he was holding on the hope his father would come and rescue him at the very last moment, and he felt sadness knowing what the plans for him were.
"He'll forsake you, you know". He muttered as someone else's memory crossed his mind and his body... a memory of distress and abandonment, it overwhelmed him at a degree he didn't expect until he found a tear rolling down his cheek that he had to cover, he was supposed to be all evil and yet he was now crying because of a stolen memory from Lucifer.
"He won't" the other stated with a trembling voice, he was determined and had hope. Hope was a good thing, he decided no one should be deprived from such sentiment, so Satan just sighed and took the book he had been carrying while the other man kept praying for a couple of hours, after all, even if it was a bit boring, he had asked Diavolo to allow him to go and now he had to at least remain there.
"Do you want some?" It had been hours and Satan was getting rather peckish, he had been prepared for the trip and so, he offered the other man a bit of his beloved apple pie he had taken with him.
"I will not fall into temptation, you demon". Satan frowned and wondered what fastening had to do with anything, he looked tired and hungry.
He shrugged and started eating, since he could not bear it anymore.
"You know, it's very good you're not a cat or you'd very soon be having issues with your liver".
The man looked at him, frowning.
"What's... what's a liver?"
Satan frowned, then he remembered humans were still way behind when it came to science.
"It makes your body works" he explained. "Anyways, do you know cats can only survive a week without food? Still, it's very dangerous because their health condition could be severely damaged".
"I had no idea" the man responded, it was a bit odd a demon was talking to him about cats.
"How's that possible? Are there not cats in your hometown?"
"There are but I have never paid attention to them."
Satan took a hand to his chest and her mouth dropped wide.
"How's that even possible! Cats are beautiful creatures and fascinating, you know they can fall and always land on their feet without suffering any kind of damage, that's quite fascinating"
The interest of the man grew as Satan talked about cats in such a way, he was surprised, and for a considerable amount of time, he forgot it was a demon, and by the time the night fell upon them, he had to accept he was making his staying in that desert more bearable.
"And where's this book conference being held, Diavolo?" Lucifer frowned in suspicion as he crossed his arms over his chest, it had been a month or more since last time Satan had departed, Diavolo had said he had sent him to a book conference because he knew he'd enjoy it, it was only a coincidence the Celestial Realm didn't longer needed Lucifer to go to tempt that poor man, of course.
"In the East" he shrugged, "don't worry the event will end soon".
Lucifer didn't have too much of an option but to wait, he had a lot of work to get done so he committed himself to it, a letter buried in his previous paperwork then appeared in his desk.
It's been forty days, the temptation was supposed to last only thirty, go and pick up your young brother.
- Michael.
Lucifer rolled his eyes but forced Diavolo to disclose the location of Satan, and he picked him up, he saw how the human and his brother exchanged a hug while Satan wished him good luck and the man walked away while the demon looked at him with a saddened expression as he knew what future held for him, he thought he was a nice man and he was also smart even accounting to the fact humans had not discovered anything about their world yet... and by the end his new acquaintance was now also a cat lover due to the information he had shared with him, yet he could feel the pain of everything that was going to happen, he could perceive the same kind of pain Lucifer had once felt... The eldest frowned and Satan gasped as he saw Lucifer, no words were needed, they both began their way home.
"You didn't have to do this". Lucifer spoke in a low voice, always looking at the path that would lead them to the door to the Devildom.
"I did it because I wanted, not because of you". Satan lied.
Lucifer nodded and once they reached out the Devildom he smiled at him.
"Thank you".
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me fanfiction#obey me lucifer#obey me shall we date#lmp:obeyme#lmp:obeymeff#fanfiction#lmp:ff#no mc#obey me satan#no proof read#ill be checking#and editing#based on someone's imagine#tell me if you wrote that imagine#sorry I cannot find it anymore
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Just watched final episodes of Buffy and my spuffy heart is insanely happy about Spike's speech in touched and how Buffy finally seems to understand just how much she means to him.
And you right, the Bangel kiss was so forced and Buffy basically told him to get out of her show 'cause she had a new man lmaoooo
Spuffy in "Touched" is on a whole other level of greatness. Everything about Spike's speech to Buffy is perfect.
For starters, Spike told off everyone for being absolute dicks to Buffy and daring to kick her out of her own home and wander through a completely apocalyptic Sunnydale by herself. Not wanting to go along with her plan was one thing, but stabbing her in the back like that was horrible - and Spike calling them a bunch of sad traitors was PERFECT (plus, him giving Giles a piece of his mind after the plot to kill him was so satisfying).
Spike is just so sweet to Buffy during the entire conversation - with the ocasional "You're insufferable for not believing how awesome you are" and "Want me to kill Faith for you? 'Cause I would totally kill Faith for you."
(Compared to the time Angel told Buffy to get out of his show because he had a new slayer girlfriend, and it's just soooo clear who Buffy and Angel should be dating instead of each other XD)
The most important part of the speech is not even how it makes Buffy understand the depth of Spike's love for her, but how, like he said, he truly understands her like no one else did.
"I love what you are, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength, I've seen the absolute best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy"
Spike was Buffy's sworn enemy, reluctant ally, willing ally and supportive friend, toxic boyfriend, sweet boyfriend she mistreated, and now he is her champion, the one that will help her save the world - again. OF COURSE he knows her in a way nobody else did.
Him calling her "the one" - both as in "his one true love" and "the chosen one" - is also perfect, because Buffy's entire conflict is feeling she will never have a fullfiling life, with meaningful relationships, because, like the first slayer said "The slayer doesn't walk this world" and "death is your gift." She fears she's too much of a hero to be a person.
And then in comes Spike. The dude that regularly calls her just "Slayer." The guy she's treated worse than she ever treated anyone else (including herself, which is saying a lot) BECAUSE of her struggly to deal with being the Slayer AND in love with anyone, let alone a souless vampire.
And he just embraces both sides of her. The kind, vulnerable girl longing for connection. The ruthless, powerful hero that doesn't need anyone. He LOVES both sides of her.
But, more importantly, said love is at it's most selfless on that moment.
"I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not 'cause I want you, or 'cause I can't have you. It's got nothing to do with me"
It doesn't matter that Buffy isn't perfect, that she mistreated him in the past, that she feels she doesn't deserve him. Hell, it doesn't even matter if she can't reciprocate Spike's feelings (even though we know she does). He still loves her, and his love will always be hers regardless of anything and everything.
Spike is being incredibly honest and vulnerable in this scene - and it allows Buffy to finally accept not only his love for her, but to give him her heart too.
I've already said over and over that I don't think Seeing Red worked, but my God, it is such a big deal to have Buffy ask Spike to come to bed with her after it, especially since the episode deliberately compares it too all the other couples in the show having sex. It's the proof that she has not only forgiven him, but also managed to fully trust him to never hurt her again (remember her saying to Giles "You sent away the one person who's been watching my back" and her chosing him as her champion instead of Angel).
But THE thing that makes me insane about this moment, and that the Spuffy fandom surprisingly doesn't talk about nearly enough, is the implications of their conversation about their night of cuddles.
Everyone is always going on and on about how that was the best night of Spike's life, and how that would have been his moment of "perfect happiness" if he was under the same curse as Angel - yet I haven't seen nearly enough people going crazy over tha fact that Buffy then confirms to Spike that SHE FELT THE SAME WAY, IT MEANT JUST AS MUCH AS IT DID TO HIM.
Buffy went through hell that night, as being pushed away by all of her loved ones confirmed her worst fears - and it was still what led to her moment of "perfect happiness" just because Spike was there to support her through it all. She even goes as far as saying she only got the weapon that will help her defeat the bad guy because of the strength Spike gave her that night.
Also, the way she gently touches his face during that talk, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Anyways, they are soulmates and if you don't agree, you're wrong.
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🎸AXON HEAD-CANONS!!🎸
This silly freak won't exit my mind, so here are some thoughts I've had about him and his character !
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• Says he's too good for 'simple affections' but will absolutely melt if someone he likes gives him a hug
• please give this man a hug.
• His favourite band is Qbomb
• Undiagnosed ADHD/ADD
• Bites his nails 100%
• oh he was definitely bullied in school
• Has a collection of his old, broken guitars. He lost all of them because he smashed them. He was either getting carried away with a sick ass solo or got really fucking angry
• frequently shoplifts
• Has stolen multiple things from stores, he says all the stuff was overpriced.
• One of the things he has stolen still had it's little price sticker thing and has it attached to his coat for funsies
• Someone called him 'Billy Boy' one time and that person has never been heard from ever again.
• Don't call him 'Billy Boy'.
• Has his art projects littered throughout his apartment, each category of things has its own little corner and place.
• His apartment is a mess btw, especially his bedroom.
• Clean room???? Never heard of such a thing. He calls it his ‘natural work of art’.
• Has actually made some really beautiful paintings but never presented them due to anxiety.
Although he does mainly listen to rock, he definitely listens to all genres. He loves all music, EXCEPT. EDM.
•He’d say ‘It sounds like some kind of… souless noise. W-Where’s the meaning? The soul??’
• He wears his mask in public, he made it himself!! And he wants the whole world to see his creations.
• Has SEVERAL past models and tests of said mask on his workbench, he wants to learn and understand how he can improve by looking at his past stuff.
• been looking at some posts on the official twitter and it looks like he has different styles of masks. I like to think he likes to make an outfit for each one he has.
• Sorry babe….. the mask stays ON during sex……
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I am definitely going to add more if I think of any,, I've got a feeling this brainworm will be here for a WHILE.
I've got headcanons for the other Lancers, Axon just has the most lol
I'll post those at a later date :3
#i love this freak#he won't leave me alone#I LOVE HIMMMMM#he's SO FINE#He's my best friend#he's my pal#he's my home boy#my rotten soldier#he's my sweet cheese#my good time bOY#fragpunk#fragpunk axon#is my beautiful baby boy ❤️❤️❤️#fp axon#imlosingoverthisgame
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Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space Retrospective: Ice Station Santa (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)
Hello all you happy freelance police and welcome back! For those just tuning in for the better part of the year i've been taking a look at Sam and Max: Save the World courtsey of patron WeirdKev27, falling more in love with this franchise and these games each chapter. If you'd like to catch up, I've put links to each review into one masterpost
RIGHT HERE
So with season 2's production.. I don't have a lot. I tried but most articles I could find from the time are "Sam and Max Season 2 is happening and it's better than ever" and not much else.
It makes sense: Season 1 was Telltale Games big coming out party: while it wasn't the first game they made, that would be....
It was their big breakout success. So while season 1 was proving themselves by this point Telltale was a big name, Sam and Max were once again big names, and the episodic model had worked. So it's not a huge suprise that season 2's production was more: Let's do it all again but bigger and better!
So for season 2 the models are slightly more expressive, there's more mini games and the originals had widescreen support back when that was a feature. '
So what actually happens in this sequel? Well a lot so join me under the cut as our heroes take on a bloated hairy pagan god to save christmas, embark in a rigged trivia night, traumatize bosco for fun and profit, and run over some muppets. In other words it's another day at the office and i'm glad to be back.
We open season 2 with our heroes returning from a case, some time after season 1 which is said explictly to be last year, only to get a nasty suprise. A giant robot smashing up the place

It's not that souless abomination but the maimtron 5000. With our heroes assuming it's their goldfish plotting max's death, that old chestnut, we head outside for the first puzzle.. well okay we're SUPPOSED to head outside but I choose to instead dick around the office. The trophy closet continues to grow and i'm happy to see a jar of bliss join the stuff. It's not a big or flashy trophy granted, it's not a melted ted-e-bear heard or a whole human being. There's some nice new touches to the office too: the photos from hit the road and bad day on the moon are replaced with ones from season 1. IT's a nice little touch that helps vary up the office and allows it to feel refreshed while still recycling the set from last game.
The biggest and best addition though is some stuff swiped from Ted.E Bears charred ruins. I get the feeling they WANTED to include these last season but it simply wasn't fesable. At any rate you now have a mounted mafia anamatronic head over the desk and the wack a rat game is now free to play any time in your office. I did again, because I had fun and it's even more fun when you just touch the screen.
So we walk out onto main street.. and quickly get our first of many status quo shake ups for the season: Sybil's is thrown through the air and lands squarely between your business and boscos where the space for rent used to be. Or on top of it more likely. It's also teling just how used I got to Sam and Max's street that I know it like the back of my arm hair. Thankfully she's not inside but it was still unnerving to see such a key part of the first season tossed aside.
Thankfully the Maimtron himself... is pure comic gold. He's waxing lyrical incarnate, quoting countless pop songs. My faviorite bits from him are giving his number as "6875309" and "All the cops in the donut shops say way oh way oh". That one's more for Max's response "That's it no one quotes walk like an egyptian at me and lives!"
However bullets can't do anything against him. Thankfully he has a big wind up dealie on his back so you simply need to ask why do birds suddenly appear every time he is near. I mean the obvious answer as given by Lorne
Is just like me, they long to be, close to you, but since he's in metal box at the bottom of the sea since Max took office, it instead gives you an opening to turn the robot off. The sender turns out to be a hairy pagan god with powers untold. That right it's old saint nick and time for Christmas in late august.
One opening sequence later we're at the north pole and it's here we get some interesting structuring for this episode. For the first act of it you can't leave the north pole. Which was annoying at first as I wanted to see Season 2's settings and what's changed, but in hindsight works perfectly: it keeps you at the pole and thus keeps your options kept there. Likewise apart from a puzzle or two that requires you to go to the north pole, most of act 2 is on main street and the last one is a bit back and forth. It creates a nice gameplay loop without leaving you TOO overwhelmed.
But before we can get to the wonders of Santa's Workshop... we reunite with some old faces. Yes folks, the dreaded dark day of prophecy fortold in the scrolls has come. THE SODA POPPERS HAVE RETURNED
As you can imagine i'm not remotely happy their alive and survivied the great dakota wars with only a removal from office. Their mad about their christmas presents. Specs got.. something, Peepers got a night gown he just dosen' thave the hips for, and Whizzer got Tuberculosis. Same thing Sam got max. It's why they don't do secret santa any more. Those gags are funny, and at the very least Sam and Max are now as visably fed up with them as I am. They also aren't in this one too much and the developers make up for using them at all out of plot necsity by allowing you to throw snowballs full of bleach at them. Repeatedly.

It was one of the best days of my life. Also helping with the strain of these morons and specs returning is a little something from the past. See before I got into this chapter, Kev reminded me of what was INTENDED to be a running gag, but I simply never updated it. Persons of all ages I present the wall of misery
It was supposed to be a runnnig tally of characters I just.. flat out hated in fiction. Not just disliked, not just was mildly annoyed by in one version or another, the ones I CANNOT FUCKING STAND , the ones who truly bring out the rage in me. It ended up largely forgotten due to a combo of two things: my short term memory being shoddy.. and me simply not getting THAT angry that often when reviewing. I try to be fair to a work as much as possible, and prefer to focus on the positive. I"ll still be objective, i'll still come down on a works flaws, but at the end of the day the reason I got into this wasn't to let out my anger issues (which I do have and try hard to control), but to simply look at things I liked or things other people like as fair as possible. I WILL tear into something if it truly pisses me off, see my review of the boys comic, but I generally don't get my hackles up that high that often.
That being said.. as I looked at the wall I realized it had a place for that exact reason. If a character can not just annoy me (as a lot of this prototype do), but really make me hate them, really make it harder to watch an episode or read a scene if their around.. why SHOUDLN'T they get a badge of dishonor for it? Pissing me off is harder and harder these days, so why shouldn't someone get an award for it for somehow pulling that off? So I present to you
With thing one and thing two front and center. Thing three is absent because he's not a carnival of dicks crammed into one character model. If your curious whos who
First Row: Julie Powers (Scott Pilgrim (Comic)) Helen Lovejoy (The Simpsons) Billy Butcher (The Boys (Comic) ) Daisy Duck (Legend of the Three Cablleros Version, the rest are fine) Second Row: Mindy's Mom (Animaniacs Peepers (Guess) Whizzer (Oh come on) Roger Raincomprix (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir) Yivo (Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs) As for what the Soda Poppers have to do puzzle wise...
Yup my anguish, my bringing back and old bit, my pelting them with bleach and possibly elf urine, it all amounted to... well okay you DO get to pelt them all with bleach and possibly blind them for life. I"ll give the developers that. This appearance gets a pass.
So we finally get inside the Workshop to find this is the night santa went crazy, as Santa is holding anyone trying to come into his office at gun point and has been having the elves making more militarilzed toys. And tourture me elmer. Naturally Max loves that last one. He even screams like a real person.
I will say Santa holding everyone at gun point.. is more than a bit unsettling and is very "product of it's time" given the.. well everything that's happened since this chapter happened. While mass shootings happened back then, they weren't nearly as common. and... I need a moment.
Okay back. I didn't even notice it while playing it oddly enough, probably down to it being a product of it's time and my brain treating it that way. Or the situation being silly enough that the horrible crushing reality simply didn't hit me and thus the chapter holds up okay.
It helps the workshop has a genuinely... creepy atmosphere> The music, a more offputting carol of the bells, the lighting it's all more ominous than previous settings. It contributes to the episodes depressing vibe as when we get to town in a bit it's also a bit off. Thankfully this is sam and max so while I was a tad unsettled.. it really didn' tstay that way for long as you can stick your guns to the north pole, talk with the elves on how things hav edeteroriated and how the elves sang a song when they left "It wasn't very happy" and make an elf cry to progress.
Elf Tears make trees grow
So we need to make one of the elves cry. And given this is sam and max it's naturally one of the most darkly hilarious things as the elf WANTS to cry.. but even threatning to rip out his eyes or kill his dog dose'nt work.. I mean the former at least makes sense. You know I forget sometimes how much horrible stuff these games make you do till I sit down and play this month's chapter.. or how much comedy gold you get out of the suffering.
Now we have a pail of elf tears.. .which I didn't even know you could pick up. I assumed growing the tree was what you did to progress. This one's on me for both not using the button to show you everything you can react to.. and on not turning the hint system up. See last game I honestly forgot half the time Max gave you hints, not helped by the fact a majority were just max being max instead of offering any advice. So for this game they instead worked out a better hint system. I mean you can still talk to max for giggles, but instead if you turn it on and the game thinks your stuck, he'll shout out what you specifically need to do. I needed to crank it up to get him to do it, and evne cranked up it's nicely just if you've been idle or wandering around long enough.
Thankfully once Kev told me I could us ether elf tears, I grabbed them and used them on a coinvent little tree outside. This gets us into Santa's Office, but dosen't really fix the problem right away as he still outguns us. And given this is sam and max we're talking about that says a LOT. Thankfully we get our lead in to act 2: an exorcism diagram. It's actually quite simple they simply need a magentic pole, which they have and the four horseman of the apocalypse action figures.
So collecting all 4 is our next goal and we're finally back home. And each area has one of the four horseman.
The first one I encountered, and ironically the last one I grabbed, was Boscos. And boy oh boy was I not prepared. So.. since the end of Save the World Bosco's somehow sunk further down the conspiracy whole. Besides dawning his most hideous disguise yet, himself, he's torn the store apart, taking all the fun and helpful condiments from season one and replacing them with a presumibly useful in the future set of photography equipment. The lights are dim, the security's somehow MORE draconian and bosco himself seems on a shorter fuse. That dosen't mean we can't light it as there's two really fun bits. The first is since bosco is hiding from a group called "T-H-E-M", who i'm not doubting exists since he was at least SOMEWHAT on the money about most of his paranoid delusions, any time someone says them he gives out a high pitched shriek. Props to Oogie Banks for making it so damn hilarious. You can just.. say it over and over ot hear it till Bosco eventually uses the security system on you. Btads is back baby!
You can also ask if he has any, which of course he dosen't this isn't a store.. but the payoff is what makes the joke:
As for bosco's horseman it's in his package
And that joke was ALMOST as subtle as the jokes the game makes. Bosco won't open it because he thinks it has a bomb inside but won't NOT open it because it might have his broom. So once again we have to ruin bosco's life. Id' feel worse but given he's taken trillions of dollars from us simply because he could, let's scar him for life again!
This requires the present machine. You can send random junk to people. We only need to send two gifts for plot progression: a ticking stopwatch to bosco for obvious reasons and a footbath to stinky's diner for reasons i'll get into in a moment.
The watch makes Bosco think the present is a bomb, and while he's disposing of it you can steal from him again. And if he has any problem with it.. them.
Onto our next one at Pimp Le Car, another very 2000's joke but one that holds up as it's just plain funny a custom car place would decide "you know what we need to not get sued by xibit? FRENCH!"
And running Pimp Le Car are The C.O.P.S.
The COPS are like the anti-soda poppers to me: their instantly likeable, made their chapter better by existing and every time they show up gets a smile out of me. And lucky for me Telltale clearly felt the same as their upgraded to Bosco's old role of shopkeep, via their custom car buisness. Their also as funny as ever.
Naturally their task is the best. To get their figure (a free hood ornament) you have to run over as many torture me elmers as possible while they spit out things likes "I have rights" and "I'm an american citzen"
That's 1/4 horseman, but before we go we can also get Stickers
For the desoto. Turns out you can get 5.. I only got one assuming it was a once a chapter thing. It's pretty neat.
Moving on, we have Stinky's Diner, our second new location and our replacement for Sybils. And I have to admit while I miss both Sybils and Bosco's as it was this shakeup was necessary: while the gameplay loop of visiting the duo worked for a game, changing up who does their roll was necessary. Telltales smartly kept both characters, they simply changed up their gimmicks: Sybil's focused on her relationship with Abe LIncoln and Bosco has gone deep down the paranoia rabbit hole.
Stinky's isn't ENTIRELY new, having shown up in Hit the Road as a quick gag and Season 1 as a background feature. Our heroes were mentioned being fond of it's salty order who hoped to cull the weak with his questionable food.
Sadly for our heroes and about a wash for the rest of civlization, Stinky is gone, apparently having passed between games with his daughter taking his place. The boys are suspcious. The fact Stinky is a habitual liar who has rigged her trivia contest so no matter what you answer you loose so she can feel superior doesn't help.
Winning at trivia is a lot of fun and a clever puzzle: the pattern is simple enough: Sybil and Abe are on a date and while their relationship is going fine, the date itself is not great as both want to murder Girl stinky but neither wants to ruin the date for the other, and my boy the Army Bug whose dealing with some ptsd and the recent loss of his father. Poor guy. I'm glad he's here but he needs some bug therapy. Maybe Buster Blaster can branch out
YOU ARE NOT YOUR FATHER
YOU ARE GREAT
YOU CAN DO THIS
GIVE ME 5.50
Since the bug and Sybil always give the same answer, a and d respectively, you simply need to tell abe whose desperate for advice to choose b or c, choose whiche ver one he didn't and you win. Stinky begrudginly gives you your prize.
As for the footbath I mentioned you mail that to Girl Stinky, and she's thankful enough to let you take her old sock.
Note this is just me personally. If your into that, good for you. It's just not for me.
Anyways the sock will be useful later, and the less I have to talk about someone else's dirty sock the better.
So that leaves us with our final horseman to grab, and that takes us back to the start.. the giant robut. Thankfully kev told me when I was stuck to go back there. So Jimmy Two-Teeth and co have turned the robot into a boxing league. Thankfully you can aquire a boxing doll from the north pole and engage in the rat equilvent of punch out.
The boxing mini game is painful. It's main problem is simple: it's a punch out homage.. that isn't designed to work like punch out. So if you say spent a LOT of time playing punchout in college and have all your reflexes for a game tied to this where you assume you can dodge either way when your instead supposed to go the same direction your opponents punching, your gonna have a bad time. Spoiler: I had a bad time. Not helping is the final fight with Jimmy gives him a super punch that can knock you out in one hit. Why they didn't tune this up for the console versions better is beyond me.. and probably time and space.
Our heroes win.. which leads to Jimmy Two Teeth, sad his wife left him, to perch on a ledge and prepare to commit suicide. Honestly i'm suprised this episode didn't have you kick a puppy or 12 at this point. We can't help him yet though, but we CAN help santa. Using a record from his office, we play the summoning chant the friendly demon song!
youtube
Jared Emerson-Johnson continues his hot streak from last season and shame on me for not looking up who was writing and singing these things. Admitely the puzzle itself is frustrating if you don't get it but the solution.. is neat. The beast possesing santa left a bunch of clues around the workshop.. and it turns out it's our old friend Shambling Corproate Presence! I'm so delighted they brought it back.. granted it's just a pink monster.. thing, but it's still neat they brought it back.
Turns out though while this does draw it out Santa actually left out the instructions as a way of fighting from the inside.. and our heroes didn't look on the back. The only way to restrain the thing is the ghosts of christmas past, present and future. And thus we've come to our final act. You have to get the help of the spirits of christmas past , present and future to help. And in a nice and, as you'd expect for this episode, fucked up twist, it's all undoing shit our heroes did. Well for the most part, one is saving them but two are christmases our heroes genuinely ruined.
So first is past, and this is where we help our old friend Jimmy Two Teeth. Kinda. We go back to season 1 and while Christmas Past dosen't care about them kidnapping Leonard for keepsies, they do care about Jimmy's son needing money for his toureets or jimmy's wife about ot leave him. The only way to fix this.. is to kindap jimmy's wife, bring her to him, and then take his boxing glove so his past self can get the tourettes surgery money, fixing the problems we caused in his life with more problems in his life.
Then we have christmas present. Earlier when we got the figure from Stinky, Max pressed it. And since that one was pestlience it summoned the bug's awful family. We throw a snowball at him, it triggers his psd, and this gets the others to leave thinking he's his own dad.
So it's on to our final one which thankfully isn't comitting any crimes. Horay! We simply have to save ourselves from hell in the future. We do so by firing up the sleigh, which has been sitting outside waiting for some coal. And we just so happen to have a terrible persons' sock. We use it to coal up, go rescue ourselves and max hits on his past self suprising no one.
So now we can release the spirits of christmas. They try appealing to the corprate presence's better nature.. and once they get that off their quota beat it. Unfortuantely it goes back into santa.
Fortunately this final boss fight.. is pretty neat. See earlier in the workshop there's a bunch of stuff to play with but none of it comes into play, a tad annoyingly at that.
And while I still contend it was a bit much.. I can't fault telltale for the payoff, as you use all the stuff in santa's workshop to knock him out. The package that brought shambling corprate presence here turned out to be for satan so we send it back.
The problem is who will save christmas? Turns out it's the soda poppers who like me Max wishes were deead but for once turn out useful. WEll okay peepers and specs are, Whizzer's only fucntion is "unrinate on stuff" but frankly it's a funny enough gag he can live till the end of the season. JUST TILL THE END OF THE SEASON. Speaking of great gags our heroes drop off. And why not.. it's only mid november.
Ice Station Santa is a mixed bag for me. There are a lot of great gags shoved in here as usual, the puzzles are mostly fun, and while the first act can be frustrating the atmosphere can't be beat. It's mostly great stuff. The more I wrote about it though the more it became clear that the tone.. is a bit of an issue. Some jokes like making the elf cry or the muppet slaughter are so dark they work, while other bits just .. don't quite land. There's enough of the old sam and max goofiness to make the chapter not get to ounsettling but there's a more mean spirited tone in this one i'm really hoping isn't a trend for this game. Sam and Max works better when it's more over the top insanity and our heroes being over the top callous instead of just depressing. Still i'ts a solid start to the season Next Month..ish: Sam and Max take a vacation! Naturally they have to save the day to actually enjoy it. Thanks for reading.
#sam and max#sam and max beyond time and space#telltale games#skunkape games#sam#max#freelance police#sam and max freelance police#sam x max
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Relatable
I have mixed feelings on this movie, on one hand I'm excited for it for many reasons. 1 is because in the trailer it actually looks like its paying tribute to the original film unlike most other Disney live action remakes where it just feels souless, I think the actress who plays Lilo is adorable and all the other actors seem great. Stitch is as adorable as always and the CGI is a lot better than I originally thought (well thats when it comes to MOST of the alien characters)
Most of all my little sister is absolutely obsessed with Stitch and our Mam is gonna take us to see this movie when it comes out. Because of that me and my sister have been going on a Lilo and Stitch marathon watching all the movies and the series, I've been really enjoying it. And at the very least if I end up hating this movie when I see it, I'm sure my sister will enjoy it
On the downside, obviously there's Pleakley (who is my favourite Lilo and Stitch character I've been obsessed with him for the past few weeks) he looks... Not great (pretty much OP described it perfectly), most of the other alien characters I thought looked fine, but poor Pleakley looks almost terrifying, but to be fair we only saw him for like 2 seconds in his alien form so maybe he'll look a bit better in the film. Though I am worried what Jumba will look like 💀
Also I wish Stitch's fur was just a tiny bit more vibrant, but that isn't a big deal in my opinion
my honest reaction to the new Lilo and Stitch trailer:
Why does Pleakley look like Mike Wazowski's meth addicted cousin that just escaped rehab
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Castlevania Nocturne review (S 1 & 2)
As much as I loved the og series, can't say the spin-off is as good.
Obviously, //SPOILERS Disclaimer: there are a lot of very subjective (and perhaps questionable) opinions, I'm definitely not forcing them on anybody, these are just my own impressions.
The show brings up very important topics about colonialism and class and there really not many media that cover it up so openly. The idea behind the show and its message are great.
But if we go into details about characters and plot...
The show feels like it's almost good, there are things I like, but they are not quite.. there? Let me explain.
I liked many new interesting powers like Annette's and Maria's. Maria's development is this regard was pretty complete, but Annette just stuck to creating swords when she could probably go in full earth-bender from avatar style. She has more potential than she's been shown I feel like?
The elaboration on Nightcreatures being actually souls of people and their memories affecting their decisions instead of just being weapons is good. Thinking about it, it feels way too op, no? It's like a full-on resurrection with keeping their concience and they even gain powers? There be the thing like oh no we look like monsters but y'all strong af and don't even have downsides like vampires??
I'm quite upset of forging masters just disappearing altogether. There's been an interesting metaphor to being a creator and changing world for the better or worse in og Castlevania series, but now it's basically gone. If they decided to go full-on catholic theme and have a corrupted priest, at least add some allegory to a human deciding he's a god and facing consequences or something but he didn't even got killed off by vampires, Maria just fried him up. Make the corrupted priest learn dark arts and become a forge master and start thinking he's a god. But we got a random-ass souless machine which ended up being even 'better' in forging than humans were before?? Hell nah.
Mizrak questioning faith and allegory for repressed homosexuality and catholic guilt is tasty, we're coming back to the roots of vampire genre and it feels more of a tribute, than trope overuse. I just wish him and Olrox weren't that much of a background characters. I've seen a lot of people posting about this plotline just to find out they have like 10 minutes of screentime lol you people of tumblr tricked me again I can't.
About gods btw. How do we get Sekhmet being a real entity (a strong 'vampire' as I figured) but catholic god is nowhere to be seen or heard? Like we know hell canonically exists (because it appears in many religions ig). Mizrak keeps talking about his and theirs gods and we are supposed to judge this hypocrisy, but the creators themselves seem to pick and choose.. Is it just me noticing it?
The pacing is not that good. Long flashbacks do not do the story justice, it would be better to show history in the beginning (first Tara, then Richter as a child, then Annette and Edouard, and then make them meet in present time) and then see the story progress. Constant back and forth is a little annoying..
Especially when you kill a character, you should show their story before their death scene, because audience just has no emotions about it?? Like show us the story of Edouard first, and then kill him off. Watching flashback when he's already dead doesn't do much, unfortunately. Like yes, he continues to live later, but we don't know about it going into the series. It's shown as if he was living and just continues living, but his death is supposed to be a big thing! He didn't just continue living as if nothing happened, or did he? Here comes back on my take on new Nightcreatures plot not making sense. Make us feel like they lost a part of themselves at least? The show fails to do so.
Main character being a smug and confident young dude with his parent dying as traumatic past is so much of a shonen trope my ass just can't make myself take him seriously.. I almost liked him when he got ptsd from seeing Olrox in season 1 and had some personality.. But then he even got a typical anime scene of awakening his powers and suddenly becoming strong without any training.. yeah no. Sorry. His entire character is so anime-like it makes me cringe. All of Richter's fights are anime cliches from moves, to camera angles, to his one-liners. I like the og Castlevania because it's an animation, but in such a different style from everything that's been out at the time. Just to have creators make the spin-off an american take on anime. I'm not buying it at all, sorry. This one is likely just my personal opinion and taste.
Also Belmonts just being magic users is a bit dissapointing. Like yeah, before Trevor they used magic, it's just him who cannot use it, but with overpowered mc the whole theme of Belmonts being just humans but still stading up and fighting evil because they are the only shield humanity have against vampires is just lost. Btw why is there magic as a colourful beam when it's always just been elements or some supernatural stuff vampires have, am I missing something? We got a fucking magical girl Richter, oh, sorry, I mean the anime protagonist with heavy aura Richer, yeah.
Now the last, but not least. The entire plot. Idk where to start even it's just confusing as fuck.
The whole revolution plot? I know vampires are originally a metaphor for the rich doing whatever they want, but this is a bit too much on the nose, no? Just personal opinion ig
But okay, whatever. The question is, why are we bringing Egyptian gods to the French fucking revolution? Why would Erzsebet, a white-ass lady in a white-ass country be a reincarnation of Sekhmet?? Make it make sense. Like yeah, Sekhmet herself told Drolta it was fucking cringe, but it was a creative choice in fact.
Edit: found theory that it's showing how tyrants often deceive and appropriate imagery from colonised countries to gain more power.
Listen, I get that creators wanted to make a story about Sekhmet and all, but then just make a story about revolution in Saint-Domingue? Annette (and many others apparently) get powers from Sekhmet, so show her use them in that fight. Because the fight that we got did not free the people from French colonisation, Maria even said in the end that they fought pure evil and not the regime. I can't bro. Like I guess we will get more seasons and it's just a first part of the story, but in this case creators should have made more back and forth in present time with France and Saint-Domingue (you know, where it actually makes sense, and not in Edouard's story).
It feels as if creators made too complicated of a plot and struggle to follow it themselves kinda situation..
All in all, Castlevania Nocturne feels way too generic of a show? The storytelling, the pacing, the characters - we have already seen all these before.
Original Castlevania series was a breath of fresh air in comparison with other media, and this feeling is completely gone, unfortunately.
Though have to give it the credit for bringing up such important social and societal topics.
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I just feel like every film, album and TV show made after Barbenheimer summer is so dull. Souless. Painfully empty. Like they're not even trying to make it seem like a genuine piece of art anymore. They just exist to sell. Hyper consumption is truly consuming everything.
Like the way that people this days are saying 'im not over brat summer 🍏💚' as if something that happened 6 months ago is now supposed to be nostalgic. It isn't. All albums should have that impact in culture. The whole year and not just 3 weeks and a tiktok trend.
I feel this way about Wicked. About Deadpool and Wolverine. About It ends with us. Everyone is trying so hard to be a Barbenheimer just to sell and it's exhausting. Even more so because it kinda works. Because the 50 Wicked collaborations did get sold out. The beauty of Barbenheimer is that it just kind of happened because of the people and the internet and now they're shoving it into our mouths every time. "The new Barbenheimer!!" - no it's fucking not.
And that 2023 summer was truly one of the happiest I've been. And everything since then is a copy of a copy of a copy. How to be excited about going to the movies, about Taylor Swift dropping her new album, about Euphoria getting a new season. It's all to be forgotten in the next two months. It all blurs put together.
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Been a while since I've posted anything. But I had.. a thought. Fair warning. It's a long read... That's probably already been done. Kinda hope not, though.
Anywho. So. Everyone remember music boxes with the ballerinas in them, right? Cool. And Laughing Jack in the box? Rightyo. So, what if... something like what he is.. but the ballerina in a music box.
But for the ballerina. It'd be more like an unintentional abandonment thing. Where the music box was gotten rid of against the owners' pleads. And the owner suffers severe abuse after the loss of it. And when this manifestation of the ballerina finally hunts her down, probably with the intends to kill (idk yet), she watches as the previous owner appears broken spiritually as they suffer through a more subtle side of the abuse they go through. So, this manifestation acts and protects the old owner despite the anger they hold. And the owner remembers them. Crying in joy (for the first time in years) at the sight of the ballerina. Aaannnnd idk from there. But i know that eventually, the owner dies, and the ballerina ends up a broken killing machine who targets anyone and everyone she deems interesting enough.
Now please stay with me.
Unlike Laughing Jack, who hates children due to past shit and targets them. This ballerina just targets people she thinks is interesting. Watches them through her music box and invades their dreams, not necessarily in nightmars, though. But more in eerie ballet concerts where the target is the only viewer surrounded by masked and souless beings. She eventually creeps her way into their reality. They can always see her in their preifials (i forgot how to spell it). But no matter what, they can never seem to get a clear look at her. As she gets closer and closer to killing them. She appears more and more often in reality. The errie dreams go from concerts of dance. To her staring at them unmovingly while the masked beings are nowhere to be seen. The room of the dreams gets smaller and smaller as she gets physically closer and closer. Eventually, she'll drive them to madness, once they're there. She'll appear behind them in mirrors full veiw. An unnerving and too wide smile on her face. Her presence ALWAYS there. Until one day. The day before their death. She leaves them alone. She stays in her music box. She lets them either fool themselves into a thin peace, or an even higher paranoia. And the next night. The target is dead. The ballerina and her music box being nowhere to be found.
And the best part (to me at least). Each victim has a different type of death. She finds it boring to kill people the same way each and every time. She loves variety. She's the type to even adopt other killers killing ways for a few days to have a new experience. She doesn't like to be bored. If she's bored... well, it's not a good thing for her to be.
That was my idea!! And i want to desperately write the story about it and everything. But I can't write creepy or horror based stories. (especially phycological, which ironically is probably what this one would be.) So i wanted to at least share this idea rather it was made or not to see what people thought.
Thank you for reading all the way through, by the way. It means the world to me. Please feel free to comment to let me know your thoughts on this!!
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It hurts so much, I dont know why I can never do anything right. Especially when I try to. I only hurt wveryone and cause fights and make everything wrong and im sorry i know im not supposed to be alive, i should've died but idk how or why im still here. Maybe I should've just given in back in 2019. Maybe they'd have been better like that. Without me to annoy and make more bills that they'd need to pay. Maybe if I stopped eating and slowly used less and less things it'll make them happier? If i made myself invisible they wouldn't be able to be mad at. If i died then i wouldn't be a problem anymore and it hurts because im rrying my best i promise i am but its never enough how can i ever be enoghj? I want to make them happy but im so useless i cant even do basic stuff im too useless to even keep myself alive and even more useless to just kill myself already and get rid of their problme because if i hadnt been born everyone wouldve been happier and lived better and i wouldnt be there to make expenses and make people upset and do everything wrong because even my name i manage to get wrong and im so rieed i dont know what to do anymore and the only thing i deserve is pain and bad things but im so selfish that i still crave to be able to relay on somwone to be able to tell them my fears and woeries and then hug then when my heart feels heavy and my lungs refuse to breathe and everythings too much and i cant cry i just want to die but its Selfish because people depend on me and itd just prove how fucking useless i am because id be letting them down just cuz my family is always angry at me and everyone says my family doesn't hate me but if they dont, then im so fucking scared of the moment i take a wrong step and they hate me because this is horrible and im constantly scared of everything and i cant even losten to voice messages because I get scared that it'll be just them screaming at me for something while on good days i can baeely pay enough attention to pass my classes and i only manage to make friends because thwy probably pity me and i probably wouldnt make a single difference if i just vanished and maybe thats what i should do. Maybe i should just run away and die far away, maybe by the time they found my body everyone would've forgotten and moved on. I mean, people have already done that while im still alive. My mom simply left and pretends i never exosted, tells everyone i hate my brother even when I'd kill myself if it meant him being okay and happy. Im not religious, and i certainly dont believe on fairy tales, but all my wishes and prayers are that the 2 people that still matter to me, will be fine and happy. Even if ut costs my own happiness. Wven if it costs my own life. I would rather die in miswry and alone rhen know that i could've made them okay and prefered to keep this shitty existence going. They matter. They are important. Im just a fucking accident that should've died years ago and everyone probably regrets saving from each and every single i almost died during these 17 years. Maybe its not too late... Who am i kidding? I couldnt simply go and diaturb the school's calendar. There's group projects that depend on me and I've already done too many wrong things for me to just do more as if it'd be okay. Yhey dont deserve that stress, they already deal with so much. But me? I deserve every single bit of pain and anger that is inflicted upon me. I deserve to be hated and screamed at. I deserve every single horrible thing that may happen to me because im just a swlfish souless useless piece of trash and i should die already because im good for nothing other than taking up space and using up resources that could've been used for something better and more important. And evne if i wrote for the rest of my life i wouldnt be able to get everything out and im just so tired on so many ways.
Im sorry. Im truly very sorry. Im going to sleep now.
It'll be fine.
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Where do I start with my souless endeavor? Staring blankly into the spaces of my mind until a thought succombs to a memory.
This memory is not something.
It is a feeling.
Some days it comes off as a dread like sticky honey left over from a cap not closed tight enough. Even if you try to drip it into your honey or on toast right, the damn thing stays sticky.
It's sometimes a oversensitivity to touch.
The rememberance of the last time I've ever eaten a peach is far too long.
What is it? A feeling of an uncomfortable nature looking for someone that won't be there.
Or the fear that someone will.
What is it? I still smile and gaze through different vectors of my personality. Drawing closer to my creative spin until I let a distraction settle in.
Am I happy? Am I okay? Do I care about others? Do I still feel the need to make friends?
Has romance left a bad taste in my mouth?
Do I run or do I stay?
The feeling comes back to being fine as long as my Spotify playlist is on point.
Thinking about how this life is too short yet not long enough in one breath. So we eat, move, explore, and embrace everything that is possible.
There is some pain in soul on a certain side that knows a name.
It'll never be a person to blame.
There are just many things that I hate and one thing is to remember how hurt became a name.
With these conflicting feelings I still wish to smile and be at peace
I love corny jokes and working with my hands, learning new things until my heart's content.
Trying not to look up to expect anything at best, to no avail I still become disappointed.
A feeling of 'I knew it!' cloaks my super ego with a brand new twist; I'll just keep moving forward.
How selfish.
Where is the integrity of only helping those you see fit, even if you do try checking in with mindless small talk.
Just trying to grow but not enough.
Am I disappointed in my self?
Then why does my pain feel good as long as I design?
What is this feeling when insults arise even thought my body is mine to love, whether I share it or not.
Why does it fuel me to try to better myself until I crash to thinking and believing I forgot something.
Nutritional values and other demands that simulators couldn't mimic. So where is this feeling of sanity that I should keep doing this?
Its just another feeling of deceit to say I'm okay when I've cried so many nights that it feels like the right thing to say now.
That even though I feel blessed for the love and care that has been shown, I don't trust many but love with what I can.
So this feeling of independent love and genuine chatter isn't to implement being selfish, I am honestly regretting not putting myself out there more by just doing everything I could back in the day. From walking to hitch hiking was a life that became a real hazy since trusting strangers than the people I've ever dated, befriended, made acquaintance, and even worked with to where most things said about me I let run at this point.
So why is it that I found peace but still dissatisfied?
My creations have collected dust, calling out to me in my dreams and developing words to corner me into submission. In a disray of restlessness due to stress and honestly working out gave me some leftover energy. After roughly 45minutes I found my rotary tool I've been thining about for two days.
So this feeling of suffocation wasn't just the nicotine cravinga, alcohol overconsuming, self-indulgent media binging queen was just a cry to find it so I can get back to what I love.
Love.
There it is.
This feeling of consistent rises and fall is my love towards knowing this feeling is true. How I am described doesn't matter as long as this love is near, I will remain sincere.
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