#I've been debating for the past few days who i wanted to use... I was thinking Childe because I'm obsessed with him fr fr

[snowflop]

It's time to bust out my traditional festive icon, heres my standard "I'm changing my icon" warning so nobody gets confused ^w^)b

[httpswritings]

discovering true love — alexia putellas x reader

Warnings: mentions of past sexual abuse (without getting into detail on how that happened) and what it leads to for reader, therefore mentions of anxiety, fear to be touched, etc. 

Word count: 1392

Summary: Alexia and reader get into a relationship together, and reader have the need to tell Alexia about her past. Alexia comforting reader.

A/N: I've already warned about these sensitive topics above, so please only read if you feel like you can. 

You had been debating how to tell Alexia what happened to you in the past. 

You warned her about not sleeping with someone on the first date nor on the second or on the third, and she had no problem with it.

“I'm not interested in you because I want to take you to bed.”

Her smile was sincere, but somehow you couldn't believe.

Alexia did not question why you wanted to wait to have sex, many people need to get to know the other person better before they have it, so she didn't pay any attention to it.

What Alexia noticed was some behaviours, like tensing your muscles or flinching, you had, especially during physical contact.

It was not something regular, as if you'd only experienced that a few days a week, but you had a worried facial expression every time that happened.

Alexia kept asking if everything was okay and you nodded. 

You didn't want her to feel bad for wanting to touch you, but you knew the truth would eventually have to come out one day.

And that's what happened during an afternoon where you went to Alexia's house to have lunch and then watch a film.

As you were cuddling with her, she lowered her hand until she reached your elbow.

You instinctively flinched slightly, and she took it as if she had tickled you by accident.

She laughed and began tickling you, and you told her to stop.

For someone who didn't experience what you had to endure, tickling was something funny, but for you was a nightmare.

“Please, Ale, stop.”

You said it in a quite low voice, but she heard you perfectly.

Your heartbreaking tone alerted her.

“I'm sorry, my love, what's wrong?”

You knew you had to tell her what you were going through, but you didn't want to have that conversation, as you knew it was going to be a really tough one.

“Thank you for stopping.”

Alexia frowned. 

The look on your face screamed fear, accompanied by your chest showing a rapid rhythm of breathing.

“Of course. Why wouldn't I?” 

You shrugged and suggested to keep watching the film.

Alexia could feel how tense your body was, as if you were on alert, but she didn't know how to start the conversation.

At first, she thought that you had misinterpreted her, thinking that she wanted to take you to the bedroom, as you insisted quite a lot when you got with her that that was not going to happen until some time later.

-

[...] When you turned around, you saw a stunning blonde woman looking at you, holding your wallet, as it has fallen out of your purse.

You kept thanking her.

“I'm Alexia, by the way. Do you live around here?”

Her hazel eyes mesmerized you, making you respond some seconds later than expected.

You told her your name and the area where you lived.

Her vivid smile made you bit the corners inside your left cheek, making you more appealing to Alexia, knowing she had to try to get your number.

“Only if you want to, don't feel pressured to give it to me. You seem lovely and... yeah. I'd love to get to know each other.”

You accepted her request, making her smile even more, which send you over the edge.

“You seem lovely, too, Alexia.”

As you were about to say goodbye, you warned her about not sleeping with someone until you had known them better.

You were worried about if you had offended her, but she just shook her head, thinking you were probably tired of people only being attracted to you, and judging by your appearance and how appealing you were to her, she thought that used to happened more than you wanted.

“Don't worry. Just a casual date.”

-

But when Alexia remembered how you looked at her, as if you were a little bird on the street begging for some mercy, she knew something was off. 

Alexia did not touch you as you watched the film.

Many ideas crossing her mind explaining why you were behaving like that, most of them with the worst outcomes.

The film ended, and you turned around to looked at her. 

She smiled at you.

You recognized that smile.

It's the one people usually have when you told them about your past.

A compassionate smile that made you uncomfortable.

You didn't want compassion, you didn't want to have to go through the same conversation every time someone got closer to you.

There was no way Alexia knew it with certainty, but you could see in her eyes she could guess the problem.

Her hands were resting on the sofa.

You got nearer her face, tilting your head to the left to then ask if you could kiss her.

Alexia's smile changed.

She nodded and you kissed her delicately.

You placed both of your hands on her cheeks, laughing at the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, making her laugh too.

As you broke the kiss, you noticed her hands were still in the same position.

As if she didn't want to touch you, just in case you were going to break.

Sighing, you knew the time for the conversation had come.

“Ale, I want to talk to you about something.”

She simply nodded, as Alexia didn't know how to face that situation.

“Just... Don't get scared, okay? If it's too much for you, tell me, and I'll stop talking.”

You saw her frowning, so you decided to go for it.

As you were explaining to her what happened, you could see Alexia's face changing its expression.

Your eyes got teary, but you felt as light as a feather. 

Whatever Alexia's reaction would be, getting that off your chest was something you desperately needed.

“I know it's a lot and I still have a long way until I heal, so that's why I'm giving you the opportunity to break up wit—”

She didn't let you finish your sentence when she shook her head.

“I guess it's going to be challenging for both of us, but let's leave some things clear. Firstly, it was not your fault, therefore, do not feel as if you were a burden or as if it was your responsibility. Second of all, we'll have to have a few conversations about this topic, but do not feel pressured to talk about it. Third of all, we are not going to do anything you don't want to, as well anything I don't want to do. No matter how far we've gone, you can refuse to continue if you don't feel comfortable. And last, if I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, please let me know. I will stop at that exact moment. I'm so sorry about the tickling before but—”

She broke down crying and you rushed to hug her. 

“I'm not crying because you made me feel bad about it but because of what you had to go through. I promise you are going to be safe and understood with me.”

You looked at her eyes, who were covered by tears, and for the very first time, you believed you were going to be safe around someone.

“I know, Ale, I know. Also, I want you to have one thing clear. If you feel like this is too much, or you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. I know you want to take care of me, but this can be really tough for you, too. So, let's have a good communication about it, okay?”

She nodded and sniffed, and you thought you had never seen something more adorable than that.

You took her hands.

“I'm going to place them around my waist. I'll probably flinch a little bit, but do not worry, I really want to try this.”

As she encouraged you, you placed her hands around both sides of your waist.

Your body tensed a little bit but you nodded at her as a way of agreeing to feel her touch.

You kept looking from her hands to her face, making you know that it was her who was touching you.

“Good job, my love. Let's leave it here for today, if that's alright? Little by little and step by step.”

You placed a quick kiss on her lips, finally tasting what true and genuine loved tasted like.

[zombvic]

enemies to lovers w kenan??🙏🙏

EYE TO EYE (kenan yildiz x reader)

summary : in which y/n and a certain turkish-german football player dont see eye to eye

face claim : no one exact

notes : thank you for the request !! hope its like you wanted :3

pairings : kenan yildiz x reader , childhood "enemies"

Ever since you can remember, Kenan has been a constant presence in your life. From childhood, you two never saw eye to eye. He was always around, whether it was a family dinner, a holiday gathering, or a neighborhood barbecue. The day your families became intertwined marked the start of what seemed like the ideal love story—the boy and girl next door. But reality was far from that.

As your families grew closer, it seemed like opposites attracted for them. Kenan was considered the typical jock: charismatic, popular, always surrounded by friends, and stereotypically, a football player. You, on the other hand, were far more reserved but possessed a strangely attractive confidence.

Kenan always challenged you. As the years passed, your dynamic didn't change. Your parents wanted you to be friends, but neither of you made the effort. Despite your parents' close friendship and frequent attempts to foster a bond between you, neither cared enough.

As you both grew older, the dynamics shifted subtly. The teasing evolved into playful banter, and the challenges turned into a mutual respect for each other's strengths. Yet, beneath the surface, there was an unspoken understanding that perhaps there was more to your relationship than met the eye.

"Y/n, the Yildiz family invited us for a get-together. Make sure you're on your best behavior," your mother said. You never really understood it; it wasn't you who made a huge deal out of your petty arguments. Hell, it wasn't even you who started the arguments. But it was never Kenan who got scolded; no, he was too perfect for that, wasn't he?

"And please, no more fighting. The last barbecue was more than enough." Ah, yes, the last barbecue—it ended with a small fire and a broken ankle. Obviously, it was my ankle; his football career would be in shambles if he broke his ankle during a friends and family event. But it wasn't my fault; he brought up the famous debate of who's the GOAT of Formula 1. I mean, you're literally German, what do you mean you don't think Schumi is the GOAT? The debate was supposed to be settled by a friendly game of pingpong, but it didn't end so friendly. What was I supposed to do, not dodge the racket he THREW at me? In my humble opinion, my actions were more than justified.

As my mom knocked on their front door, we were greeted by Engin, Kenan's father. Their house was cozy, shared between the parents and three boys. Every time we went over, the atmosphere was welcoming.

Kenan stood at the doorway, a sheepish grin on his face as he welcomed us inside. "Hey, Y/n," he greeted me, his tone surprisingly friendly despite our history.

"Hey," I replied, trying to mask the uneasy feeling his presence always seemed to stir in me. His eyes held some sort of amusement, as if he could sense my discomfort. I walked past to enter the familiar space of their kitchen connected to the backyard entrance.

Engin ushered us towards the backyard where the rest of the family and a few guests were gathered around the barbecue grill. Kenan's brothers were playing football in the yard, their laughter blending with the hum of conversation.

"Hope you're hungry," Engin chuckled, flipping a burger on the grill. "We've got plenty to go around."

Kenan slid next to me as we walked to the table, his voice low. "So, how's life?" he asked with genuine interest.

I hesitated for a moment, surprised by his sudden sincerity. "Um, it's been alright," I replied cautiously. "Busy with school and all."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get that. Are you still into that video editing thing you were doing last summer?"

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of surprise that he remembered. "Yeah, actually. I've gotten some offers from certain companies."

"That's really cool," he said with a nod, a hint of admiration in his voice.

We reached the table where the food was laid out, and Kenan held out a plate for me to take first. I couldn't help but notice the small gesture of consideration, a far cry from our usual banter or tense interactions.

"Thanks," I said quietly, feeling a flicker of warmth towards him that I hadn't expected. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to Kenan than the cocky football player I always assumed him to be.

As the evening went on, the atmosphere at the barbecue shifted from tentative civility to a surprising ease between Kenan and Y/n. Engin's expert grilling skills were matched by his knack for storytelling, keeping everyone entertained with humorous anecdotes from his youth. The smell of grilled meat filled the air, mingling with laughter and the occasional cheer from the ongoing soccer match in the yard.

Kenan and Y/n found themselves drawn into a playful banter over who could stack their burger higher with toppings, each trying to outdo the other with combinations that ranged from classic to unconventional. It became a mini competition, with Kenan daring Y/n to try his "ultimate burger creation" while she countered with her own daring concoction of flavors.

"You're seriously putting pineapple and jalapenos together?" Kenan raised an eyebrow, eyeing Y/n's bold choice of toppings skeptically.

"Why not?" Y/n grinned mischievously, carefully balancing the overflowing tower of burger ingredients. "It's a winning combo."

Kenan chuckled, shaking his head in mock disbelief as he expertly flipped another burger on the grill. "Alright, I'll admit, you've got guts. Let's see if it actually tastes as good as it looks."

As the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the backyard, Kenan's brothers approached with mischievous grins on their faces. "Hey, Kenan! Y/n! How about a friendly game of football?" they called out enthusiastically, kicking a soccer ball playfully towards them.

Kenan glanced at Y/n with a raised eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "You guys sure you want to challenge us? You might regret it," he teased, his competitive spirit already rising to the surface.

Y/n chuckled, feeling a surprising rush of excitement at the prospect of playing alongside Kenan instead of against him for once. "Bring it on, boys," she replied confidently, flashing a grin that mirrored Kenan's.

With a nod from Kenan, they divided into teams—Kenan and Y/n against his brothers. The game started with playful banter and competitive energy, but something shifted as they played. Kenan's skill on the field was undeniable, his passes precise and his movements fluid. Y/n found herself naturally falling into sync with him, their teamwork surprisingly effortless.

They communicated with quick glances and nods, strategizing on the fly and covering each other's positions seamlessly. Kenan's brothers put up a good fight, but Kenan and Y/n's teamwork proved to be a formidable force.

"Nice pass!" Kenan called out as Y/n dribbled past Eren with skillful footwork, earning an approving nod from him.

"You're pretty good at football, Kenan. You should consider becoming a professional," Y/n joked with a playful smirk.

Kenan chuckled, shaking his head modestly. "I don't know about that. I'd probably miss all the glamour of backyard games like this."

"Get a room, lovebirds," His brothers teased from the sidelines, a mischievous grin on their face.

Y/n rolled her eyes, playfully nudging Kenan. "Ignore him. They're just jealous that we make a better team than they do."

The game continued with laughter, cheers, and occasional playful taunts exchanged between teams. As the friendly competition progressed, Kenan and you found themselves enjoying each other's company in a way they hadn't before. The usual tension and rivalry gave way to shared goals and a shared sense of accomplishment each time they scored or defended together.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky and the game wound down, The brothers conceded defeat with good humor, congratulating Kenan and Y/n on their victory.

"You guys were awesome!" Kenans brother exclaimed, grinning broadly as he bumped fists with Kenan and Y/n. "We'll have to challenge you again sometime."

Kenan chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder. "Anytime, little bro. Just be prepared to lose again," he teased playfully.

As they gathered their breath and laughter echoed in the cooling evening air, Y/n couldn't help but feel a newfound sense of camaraderie with Kenan. Working together had brought out a side of him she hadn't seen before—the focused, determined athlete who also knew how to have fun and appreciate teamwork.

"Thanks for the game, Y/n," Kenan said quietly, his tone sincere as he glanced at her with a soft smile.

You nodded, feeling a smile tug at your lips in response. "Likewise, Kenan. It was... refreshing," she admitted, surprising herself with the honesty of her words.

As they shared a meaningful smile, the evening continued with laughter, shared stories, and the hope for more moments like this—where they weren't basically on the verge of killing eachother, but actual friends, if not more.

im sorry this kinda doesnt have plot and sounds kinda npc but erm ! ignore that plz

[another-lost-mc]

a/n: You know me so well bb! I've been thinking about this all day. 💚

barbatos x gn!reader [nb] | 0.6k words | sfw (fluff)

content/warnings: hinted established relationship with og!barbatos, solomon slander. 😈

Barbatos invites you to the castle for a late supper because someone has to look after you properly. He knows you spend so much of your time caring for everyone else. Who can he trust to feed you if not himself? Lucifer and his siblings? Solomon? No, he won't rely on the fallen angels to think beyond their own problems to worry about yours, nor will he subject you to more of that damned sorcerer's definition of edible food.

He’s worried that a detour to the castle will make your long day even more exhausting for you, but he can’t resist the temptation to offer his assistance. He dampens his cautious optimism and prepares himself for your apologetic refusal, but eagerness blooms in his chest when you thank him profusely for an excuse not to return to Cocytus Hall just yet. (You tell him that you could smell Solomon's food from outside the building, and you were lingering outside contemplating what to do next.) It doesn't take long for you to arrive at the demon lord's castle, and your eyes brighten sweetly when you notice him waiting for you on the front steps. You look relieved to see him, like you're greeting an old friend, or like you're coming home. He wonders what he’s done to deserve such admiration.

He realizes that he should've thought this plan through because once he leads you to the kitchen, he has no idea what meal to serve you. Dinnertime was hours ago, and everything has been cleaned and put away. He urges you to sit and relax at one of the countertops while he debates what he can make for you. He doesn't want to simply reheat leftovers for you—it feels like a waste of his talents. He can do so much more for you. He knows your preferences by now; he's seen the dishes you pass over and the ones you take seconds from. He hides his unpreparedness by distracting you with lighthearted conversation.

After a few minutes, you stand up and fill the kettle for a pot of tea. He can’t help but sneak glances from the corner of his eye as you move around the castle kitchen like you know it as well as he does. It doesn't escape his notice that you place two cups on the counter, or that you reach past the sugar in the cupboard and grab a jar of honey instead. You always seem to remember the little things he likes and doesn't like, the same way he remembers those things about you.

Dinner is plated not long after the tea is steeped and ready to drink. He looks forward to finally being able to focus on you, showing you the utmost respect and attention you deserve. He sits on a barstool next to you while you both chat idly over a plate of sandwiches and a light salad. He’s not used to this type of quiet intimacy and he hopes you don't notice. Your fingers nearly brush against his own when you both reach for food off the same plate. He sips your delicious tea and hides his smile behind the rim of his cup when you tell him amusing stories about your work earlier in the day. Your murmured words of appreciation for inviting you tonight are pleasing. Sometimes you nudge his shoulder playfully like you crave his closeness and not only the services he offers you. It goes against everything he is—professional, poised, collected. He shouldn't like this as much as he does.

Maybe he's simply not used to having friends, with the exception of the Young Master he dutifully serves. He's cooked elaborate feasts for demon lords, of course—spending hours in the kitchen to ensure everything was made and plated to perfection, watching blandly as hours of his hard work is consumed within minutes, bowing at the waist when he acknowledges each polite compliment they offer him. Once he's walked you home and he can retire to his room to contemplate, he’ll wonder why your praise for his simple cooking and modest company feels so much more satisfying in comparison.

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #5: clothes

I only noticed this after remembering what he went through as Kim Rok Soo but I think Cale actually likes or prefers to wear dark-colored clothes. That, or there's another reason why he wears them.

It's not as obvious in the manhwa because the artist probably wants him to have bright colored clothes (fair) but it's been mentioned a few times in the beginning of the novel.

Cale, who used to enjoy wearing fancy clothes and showing off until just two years ago, was suddenly only wearing dark clothes, and had a completely different demeanor about him.

Chapter 43: Somehow

I'm not completely sure if he likes the color (shade?) but I remembered seeing Kim Rok Soo wearing them behind Cale Henituse in a cover.

[SPOILERS for the first part of TCF👇]

Dark clothes could mean a person wants to look cool and stylish or it could mean a person is boring. And in some ways, the person wearing black is grieving.

I looked it up because I wasn't too sure (and I don't want to offend anyone) but Koreans apparently wear black clothes at funerals.

And knowing his past, it could be that he never stopped grieving even as Cale Henituse.

Like I've mentioned before, and what most readers know about him after reading the novel, there are a lot of funerals back in Korea and he attended some of them.

People die everyday in his world and some of them don't have anyone to grieve for them. It's why he's the one who showed up in Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo's funeral.

One of the things that changed the most was the funeral tradition. The reason was simple.

Too many people had died.

And even more continued to die every day and will die in the future.

- Chapter 719

Him constantly grieving for those he lost could appear in what he's wearing.

Yes, there are moments when he wears them to look intimidating in front of the nobles or his enemies but there was this one scene after the Plaza Terror Incident when he actually wears dark clothes, albeit more luxurious.

“It is a beautiful day today. Probably because we are here to respect the fallen.”

Cale’s red hair fluttered in the wind and created a stark comparison to his black outfit.

- Chapter 48: Somehow

It's a sad thing to think about if this is actually the reason why he wears them.

Another preference that was briefly mentioned before is him liking simple clothes. It could mean several things for him.

Simple clothes could mean he's lazy (which is debatable but probably true). Simple clothes could mean he's a guy with simple tastes (also debatable). Simple clothes could mean he was poor or doesn't have the more luxurious type of clothes. Or simple clothes could mean he's used to wearing them in a world where the apocalypse is real and he needs to move comfortably to survive.

I'm thinking he's so used to getting too injured, he never allows himself to wear something different. Like if you're gonna get cuts all over your body after using an ability, I doubt you'll bother wearing something nice.

It's intriguing how a simple mention of his clothes can mean several things.

I really didn't consider the possibility of something more by judging what he wears.

From his words, to his actions, and even to his clothes, you can make different opinions and theories about him and that's why I'm having so much fun reading this novel.

[aibidil]

In honor of Debate Day (I'm cringing already, and I have to watch with my kid for a school assignment): I keep seeing political posts on here that demonstrate a misunderstanding of the American electoral system, and I want to explain a few points. Because I have a PhD in Political Science and apparently I can't help myself.

E.g. "You people keep saying to vote for the (blameworthy) democrat and then force them to the left, but then you never force them to the left!" <- in a way, this statement is true enough, but not for the reasons that it seems to imply.

The US Constitution doesn't establish a two-party system. However, it does establish the Electoral College, which is a major way in which the US electoral system diverges from a popular vote. The manner in which each state chooses and constrains its electors (the people who make up the Electoral College) is left to the states, but 48 of the 50 states use a voting system called "First Past the Post," or first-preference plurality. FPTP is a system in which voters choose one candidate and the candidate with the largest number of votes (a plurality) "takes it all," even if they do not secure a majority of the votes. So if there are three candidates—say, Gore, Bush, and Nader—and Bush gets the plurality of electors, Bush wins. Even if more voters voted for Gore than Bush. Even if Nader voters indicated in exit polls that their second choice was much more likely to be Gore than Bush. US Congressional seats, likewise, are elected in single-member districts with FPTP winner-takes-all. So in a FPTP system, the makeup of the electoral body is not proportional to the votes cast by voters, and in the Electoral College, it may lead to results in which a candidate with a plurality of overall votes doesn't win the election.

Single-member FPTP systems therefore discourage voting for smaller parties and encourage, as the rational outcome of the electoral system, strategic voting for one of two big parties. This is in direct contrast to electoral systems that run on some variation of proportional representation (ranked preference voting, multi-member districts, etc), where the percentages of votes for each party are reflected in the final makeup of the elected body.

So even though there's nothing in the US Constitution saying we have to have a two-party system, in Political Sciencey terms: Duverger's Law states that all FPTP systems will become two-party systems. This is true because it is the logical outcome of rational actors operating in the system.

Okay, but who cares if we have a two-party system? We can still push democrats to the left, right?

Well, kind of? But ultimately, not really. Because think about it: if you have two parties competing for votes among the entire populace, they can only position themselves against the other party. You've got one candidate on the right and one candidate on the left. Committed leftists and committed right-wingers are going to vote for their party (or not vote at all). There's no incentive for a party to make any concessions to those voters. Whose votes are they trying to get? The people in the middle. Those are the only people they should care about, if they want to win. So the voters in the middle can exert influence over the platforms, and that has the effect of pulling both sides toward the very middle.

(One thing that has happened in recent years is that the Republicans have been successful at moving the entire distribution of votes farther to the right. This hasn't changed the fact that the two-party system will always pull both parties toward the center of the vote distribution, but it's definitely fucked us over. If the democrats had any way to enact this sort of shift, I would be all over it, but I don't see how they could. The entire system is fucked even beyond all I've already said by gerrymandering and the fact that leftists are geographically isolated in cities, both of which systematically benefit the right, so it doesn't seem likely that the democrats could be successful at a shift like that without changing some of the laws about gerrymandering, if not also the Electoral College.)

On the other hand, in systems that have more than two parties, you end up with bimodal distributions of votes. Why is that? Because say you have three parties on the left, and voters know that they aren't throwing their vote away if they vote for a smaller party. What will happen? The three parties on the left will be vying for the votes of the leftists. And the same thing will happen on the right. In this way, the voters will pull the party platforms farther from the middle, out to each side. The leftmost and rightmost "fringe" parties will each get a small proportion of the votes, and the more mainstream parties will get more, but those fringes have much more power than they ever could in a two-party FPTP system.

So when people say, "You say, vote for the democrat, then force them to the left, and then you don't force them to the left"—correct. There is no clear way to force a democratic candidate to the left in our two-party FPTP system. How would one even do that? The only thing leftists can threaten is to not vote, when not voting will certainly benefit the candidate on the right. So, sure, you can do that—if you want your behavior to benefit the right as a way to threaten the left. Some people will make that choice, but not many, because it will help the right!

To be clear: this is fucked! I think this is fucked! But we get nowhere by sticking our heads in the sand about how the electoral system actually works.

I'm not pretending that there's only one right way to act. Our system is fucked and has been for a long time. What I do think is key is understanding how the system actually works and making your decisions from there.

For me, I've often said, "Vote for the democrat for harm reduction, because that will absolutely reduce harm compared to the republican candidate. Then, fight the system." But I realize this maybe wasn't specific enough. What I mean when I say that is: I will vote for Kamala with zero qualms. Because I believe that Trump would be worse for literally every demographic in the world that I care about. To me, that's the only thing the vote is about. Do I agree with Kamala on Israel-Palestine? No. Do I think Trump would be worse for Palestinians and for American Jews (probably for Israeli citizens too)? Absolutely. Do I shudder to think what happened last time Trump had control over creating the Supreme Court? YES.

But when I say, "Then, fight the system," I mean specifically: the number one thing that leftists should be doing if we want to make any headway, if we want to shift that distribution of votes back from the rightward journey its taken in recent years, is to fight to overturn the electoral college and gerrymandering. Every tiny step we take in making our electoral system closer to the popular vote favors both principles of democracy and the left. If we can amend the constitution (this is enormously difficult) to get rid of the Electoral College, then we can turn to changing the electoral system to something other than FPTP.

I do not mean "vote for Kamala and then spend 4 years yelling at democrats for not being leftist enough." I agree: that is a terrible strategy, and will do nothing.

We can't keep ignoring, in between elections, that the voting system itself is where our focus should be! We can't keep pointing fingers at each other, even though we're all acting within the constraints of a fucked system, every time an election comes along! Maybe I'm getting old but I am so weary of this! We can't somehow willpower our way out of the system in which our votes are being cast! We have to change it!

[captainsophiestark]

At Peace With You

Finn Mikaelson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Day 30 Prompt: "Are you with me?"

Summary: When Finn is undaggered and starts conspiring with his mother to destroy the Originals, Elijah calls in the one person who might be able to convince him this immortal life is worth living: his wife.

Word Count: 3,898

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

After more than 900 years of being a vampire, not a lot surprised me anymore. But when I woke up one morning to a call from Elijah Mikaelson, surprise bordering on shock was the overwhelming emotion.

I'd picked up the call without thinking about it, without checking the number. Even though I hadn't spoken to Elijah in hundreds of years, I still recognized his voice in an instant. He asked if he'd dialed the right number to reach me, and all I could do was exist in shocked silence for a few long moments.

I waited to respond for a few extra moments after snapping out of it, briefly debating hanging up. If it had been a different Mikaelson sibling, I would have done it. But if Elijah had tracked down my number to call me, I figured it must be for something important.

"...Yeah, Elijah, it's me. What do you... what do you want?"

I could hear his heavy sigh on the other end of the line, and I had to bite back a laugh. Once upon a time, I'd started to consider that sigh of exasperation the familiar gesture of family.

"Niklaus has broken his curse," he finally said. My heart stopped dead, but I tried not to let it show in my voice.

"Okay. And what does that have to do with me?"

"Niklaus also managed to kill our father, Mikael, and now that he's succeeded... he's undaggered our siblings."

"What?" I breathed. This couldn't be real. I must've been dreaming or something.

"He kept his word to me, albeit after taking advantage of a loophole," Elijah continued. "Finn has been undaggered, along with Kol and Rebekah. We're in Mystic Falls."

I sat down heavily in the nearest chair, my mind reeling. I'd been in love with Finn from the moment I'd met him, literal ages and lifetimes ago. We'd been inseparable from the moment Finn first started courting me, and although his family initially had mixed feelings, Finn had turned me and we'd gotten married with (mostly) full support.

And then, about fifty years into our marriage, Klaus had gotten angry at Finn, and daggered him. I'd spent about another fifty trying to get him back, until Klaus had almost killed me. He'd told me the next time I made a "rescue attempt", he wouldn't hold back. I was ready to keep going anyway, until he also threatened to dump Finn's body in the ocean, never to be found. I couldn't risk him following through. So I'd mourned the love of my life as if he was dead, and then I'd ditched every last other member of his family for good.

Until now. The thought that he was back, finally, free from that stupid box... It didn't seem real.

"Elijah, I've had very little issue with you in our long, long lives, but all the same... why should I believe you?"

"Why would I lie?"

"For Klaus."

"To accomplish what?"

I paused at that. I racked my brain, but I couldn't think of anything the middlest Mikaelson would possibly want with me. If there was something, I would've heard from him before now. And I hadn't. He'd left me alone for the past 850 years.

"Finn has been undaggered for a few days," Elijah continued, correctly reading my lack of protest as a green flag to continue. "I used my connections to track you down because we have a problem, and it seems like one you would be best able to solve."

Now it was my turn for an exasperated sigh through my nose.

"So you did call me for an agenda."

"One that serves you and Finn both." I rolled my eyes, and although Elijah couldn't see it, I had a feeling he knew what I was doing. "Our mother has mysteriously returned from the dead. Like our father, she is determined to wipe us off the Earth, as she feels our current forms are abominations. Unlike our father, she's been trying to talk us into agreeing with her and choosing to end our own lives."

I gasped, a scowl making its way onto my face. I didn't exactly love all of the Mikaelson siblings, but for a mother to try to convince her own children to kill themselves was absolutely horrific, no matter how many times I'd thought about killing her children myself.

"She hasn't made any inroads with any of us," Elijah reassured me. "Except... for Finn."

"You're joking."

"I'm not. Since being undaggered, my brother has expressed freely his feelings that immortality, especially as a vampire, is a curse that he wishes to end. My mother has only fed this mindset, and now I fear the two of them are working together to end all of us."

"And what do you want me to do about that, exactly?" I asked, even as I moved around my house to start packing a bag. If there was even a glimmer of hope that I could help Finn, I would. Even after 900 years, I knew if the positions were reversed, he would do the same for me.

"I'm hoping you can talk him off the ledge, so to speak," Elijah answered. "Keep everyone alive and well."

"I'm going to stop you right there, Elijah. It feels like you're building to threatening Finn, and I've had enough of that from your family for a million more lifetimes. I'll be there later today. Just tell me where I can find Finn."

"...I'll make sure he's at the Mystic Grill. It's a restaurant in the middle of town, you can't miss it."

"Great. See you in a few hours."

I hung up before he could say anything else.

Quickly, I finished throwing my things into a bag, then hurried out to my car. I had no time to waste if I wanted to save Finn.

Luckily for me, the drive only took a few hours, which gave me time to process everything Elijah had told me and that I'd have to face in Mystic Falls. It still didn't feel quite real that I was about to see Finn again.

That hazy dream finally faded when I walked through the doors of the Mystic Grill, my bags still in the car. I scanned the room and like a heat-seeking missile found Elijah in a corner booth, sitting across from someone who still had their back to me. The last time I'd seen Finn, he'd had hair down past his shoulders. But even from the back, with a new haircut and modern clothing, I knew it was him.

I quickly crossed the room, my heart speeding up with every step, until I stood before both of them. Elijah immediately turned to look at me, but I only had eyes for Finn.

He looked remarkably good, considering he'd been in a box for 900 years. He stared at Elijah with a raised eyebrow, then slowly turned to follow Elijah's gaze until he saw me.

The world stopped, and everyone else in the room disappeared. Finn, my Finn, the one I thought I'd lost any hope of ever seeing again, the man I loved beyond all else, was here. Sitting before me, looking at me with familiar hazel eyes. Alive.

"Finn," I breathed, the smallest of smiles tugging itself onto my face. An instant later, thanks to vampire speed, he had me wrapped tight in his arms. He breathed my name into my hair, so quietly that even Elijah's super-hearing probably didn't catch it. I squeezed him tight, a few tears leaking out as I did. He was back. He was really back, and alive. No dagger or gray skin or anything else that haunted my nightmares.

"How did you know I was here?" he finally asked, pulling back with awe on his face. I smiled and nodded towards his brother.

"Elijah found my number and called me. Can we talk?"

Finn glanced back at Elijah with slightly narrowed eyes, then looked back at me.

"...Yes. Lead the way."

I didn't know the town any better than he did, but I also didn't want to hang around the Grill in earshot of Elijah for this reunion, so I pulled Finn towards the door. We wandered towards the park, and after a quick scan of the area to make sure we weren't being eavesdropped on, I led him to a bench where we could sit together.

"I'm... so happy to see you, Finn," I said, taking his hands in mine and fighting to hold back another round of tears. "I hope you know... I tried to get you out sooner. I really did. I just... I wasn't strong enough. I am so, so sorry."

He shook his head, squeezing my hands a little in reassurance.

"It's alright. I'm glad I'm getting to see you again."

"Before you let Esther kill you?" Finn's eyebrows shot up, and I pursed my lips. "Elijah told me what you're planning to do, Finn. It's why he called me in the first place. I would've come running no matter what, but none of your siblings would've reached out to me without some other motive. We both know that."

Finn sighed through his nose and shook his head.

"And that is exactly why our time on Earth needs to come to an end. Monstrous behavior like that has become normal for them. For us. It has to stop."

"Does that include me?" Finn's gaze had wandered to other parts of the park, but it snapped back to me at my words. "Your umbrella of monstrous vampire behavior that has to stop. Am I under it just by virtue of being one?"

He sighed, staring down at our joined hands for a long, long time before looking up at me, pain in his eyes.

"I wish I could say no. My heart wants to say no. But... you've lived a long life in the years I've been gone. I don't really know you. Not who you are now."

I looked away, the gears turning in my brain as I nodded thoughtfully. He had a point; I had changed a lot in my 900 years wandering this Earth without him. But I still loved him, and I hadn't changed so drastically that he wouldn't recognize the new me.

"I have an idea," I said, turning back to him with a smile. "Let's go away together. Come back home with me for... a week. Let's get to know each other all over again, and I can show you why I've decided it's worth it to stick around all these hundreds of years. Alright?"

Finn frowned. "I don't know... my mother-"

"Has had her time to make her case. And if you really want to, you can come back here to her whenever you want. But you're my husband, Finn. Nine hundred years, and I've only ever loved you. So now it's my turn."

The barest hint of a smile quirked up the corner of his mouth.

"It seems like you haven't changed much, in a few ways at least."

I grinned. "I didn't need much longer than we had together to get good at telling off pushy family members of yours. The only one who's ever bested me was Klaus, and I don't intend to ever let that happen again. If your mother's trying to walk you off the ledge... she's gonna have to go through me."

Finn sighed, pulling me to my feet with him as he stood. I worried for a second, until his small smile reappeared and he met my eyes.

"Let's go home, then. For a week. Wherever 'home' is for you."

****************

I wasted absolutely no time loading Finn into my car and getting the hell out of town. It was going to be a lot of driving for one day, but it would be worth it. I had no intention of letting any of his family members get in my way. I'd never even had to unpack my bag.

As we left Mystic Falls behind us and pulled onto the highway, I put on my favorite playlist and shot Finn a grin.

"How much have your siblings caught you up on everything you missed over the last nine hundred years?" I asked. Finn frowned and shook his head.

"Very little. Do we really need to be going this fast?"

"Yes," I said, pointedly hitting the accelerator as I got up to speed with the rest of traffic. "Don't worry, I'm a fantastic driver. I promise it's normal and safe."

"Hm." Finn nodded, still looking a little unconvinced, so I reached over to take his hand.

"First lesson on the wonders of life, Finn: Road trips are the best. We've got about four hours to cruise, talk, listen to music, and stop for the most deliciously, bad-for-you food imaginable."

Finn huffed a small laugh. "I suppose that could be fun."

I grinned, cranking up the volume on the song playing, one of my favorites.

"I'll take it!"

****************

Slowly, over the course of the rest of the drive, Finn loosened up a little. He'd always been the most formal and reserved of his siblings, but when we were together, he'd always relaxed around me. This time, it took a little longer to get there, but around the second hour he started laughing at my stupid jokes and asking questions about things he saw that he found interesting. By the time I pulled up in front of my house a few hours later, he had a smile on his face and the tension had mostly eased out of his shoulders.

"How long have you lived here?" he asked, eyes surveying the house as I grabbed my unused bag out of the backseat.

"Oh, probably close to a decade. I've had the house for a lot longer than that, but I move in and out pretty regularly, since it would be obvious to my neighbors after a while that I'm not aging."

Finn nodded thoughtfully. "And does that ever bother you? The constant moving, the lying. The leaving."

"Sometimes," I said with a shrug. "But I like traveling and exploring the world. This way, I get to do that while also having a home to come back to after everything. It's more often than not been the best of both worlds for me."

"Hm. And do I need to be invited in?"

I grinned. "Nope! The house is mine. Unlike your siblings and quite a few other vampires, I haven't spent my eternity making enemies, so at least so far I haven't needed to keep other vampires out."

Finn chuckled, and the sound made a warm feeling grow in my chest. He looked happy, and seeing him glowing as he walked towards the front door of the place I called home was exactly the thing I'd been dreaming of for 900 years.

As if on-cue to interrupt my moment, my phone rang. I glanced at it to find Elijah's number staring back at me and huffed a sigh.

"Finn, would you mind taking my bag inside? I need to take this."

"Of course, my love." He gave me a soft smile as he took my bag, then headed for the front door. I watched him for an extra second, the fading light of twilight painting the world in a soft glow, then answered my phone with a sigh.

"What do you want, Elijah?" I said, not bothering with a hello. I turned my back to Finn and walked a few steps away, hoping he'd be too focused on the house to listen in on my conversation with his brother. I didn't want anything messing up our week away, especially not family drama.

"Where is Finn?" Elijah asked, his tone a bit demanding. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because, as I remember mentioning to you, he's in the middle of trying to plot with our mother to kill all of us. I'd like to be aware of his location and progress for my own sake, and the sake of my family."

"Finn is family, and family you left rotting in a box for nine hundred years," I spat. I took a deep breath, getting my anger slightly more under control, then continued. "Finn is with me. I'm going to spend some time with my husband, thank you very much, and hopefully throughout the course of that I'm going to convince him it's worth telling your mother to go to hell to stay here with me. Our goals are aligned in keeping Finn from letting your mother destroy your entire family, Elijah, and that knowledge is just going to have to be good enough for you. We're supposed to be family, too, so you at least owe me that."

I hung up before Elijah could get another word in. I shoved my phone back into my pocket, then took a couple deep breaths before finally turning back around to head into the house. I was going to enjoy my week with Finn, and I was not going to let anyone get in our way.

I wandered inside to find Finn just sort of standing in the middle of the room, looking around. I showed him around and helped him get settled, and the two of us spent the night the same way we'd spent the drive, talking and telling stories and catching up after being apart.

We made dinner together, and I introduced Finn to the wonders of boxed mac 'n cheese before convincing him to sit down and watch my favorite Disney movie with me. It was late, so we went to bed right after the first one, but Finn seemed to enjoy it enough that he'd probably want to watch more after we got some rest.

For the first time in a long time, I drifted off with the comfort of Finn next to me, alive and well. I was determined to do whatever it took to avoid losing him ever, ever again.

****************

The next week felt like heaven on Earth. Finn and I quickly fell into a new, easy, happy routine together, exploring the place I'd called home for so long during the day (while also getting him more caught up on the modern world) and watching ridiculous movies on the couch together long into the night. I didn't want it to end, but I knew that if we disappeared for too long, Esther or one of her other kids would come looking for us. Finn and I needed to settle the issue once and for all, sooner rather than later.

But first, I had one last trick up my sleeve.

"So... we're supposed to go back to Mystic Falls in the morning," I said, leaning my elbows on the counter as I met Finn's eyes across the island. "But there's one more thing that I do as a regular part of my vampire life that I'm going to keep doing, no matter what. Fortunately for both of us, I think you might like it too."

Finn raised an eyebrow, and I gave him a soft smile before pushing off the island.

"Come on. Follow me."

He did, without hesitation. I tried to hide just how much that made me smile.

Finn and I walked from the house deeper into the downtown area, where people still walked back and forth despite the late hour. Finn carefully took in all our surroundings as I led him along, falling back into my normal routine.

As an immortal with superstrength, superspeed, and mind control, I was safe walking around at night basically no matter what. But also as a woman, I remembered plenty of times where I hadn't been safe. Or where I would've been in serious trouble if I hadn't had superpowers on my side. So, on a regular basis, and even more often when I started feeling down about being a vampire, I walked around at night acting as an avenging shadow, making sure any woman I came across got home safe. Crime rates tended to drop, at least for a little while, in whatever city I lived in and various muggers realized they had a real-life, superpowered Batman going after anybody trying to hurt people in the shadows.

I ducked into a dark alleyway, and Finn followed me, still looking curious. I smiled at him, then explained what I'd been doing for the past 900 years. As I spoke, a smile appeared on his face and steadily grew to a beaming pride I hadn't seen since our first few years together.

"That is... an excellent idea," he said, still looking at me like I'd hung the moon. I smiled back.

"Thank you. I've been back here long enough that I don't think we'll find too many things to put a stop to tonight, but... what do you say we look anyway?"

Finn nodded. "I'll follow you."

I took Finn's hand and pulled him along with me down the rest of the alleyway, ducking into the nearest bar on the other side. After grabbing a few drinks and compelling a few leering men to change their behavior, we popped back out onto the street to clear the next place.

Finn and I worked like a charm together, like we'd been working as a team for the last 900 years instead of just me by myself. Although the city was fairly safe, we still found plenty of ways to make an impact, and had a blast together going from place to place too. When we finally went back home around two in the morning, we were both laughing, and I swear Finn seemed lighter than he had all week.

"Well, that was my pitch," I said, flopping backwards into bed. Another perk of vampire speed was how quickly I could get ready for bed, especially when I was this tired. "I hope you liked it."

"I did. I liked it very much."

"I'm glad." Finn laid down next to me a beat later, and I rolled over to fix him with a smile. "So, how about it, Finn. I say we ditch your mom and the rest of your siblings, like I've been doing for centuries. Live our eternity together, doing good and just being happy. What do you say? Are you with me?"

Finn sighed, his gaze roving over every inch of my face. With every second the silence stretched my stomach churned, worried I'd failed, or that I should've waited until morning to ask, or a thousand different things I should've done differently. Finally, Finn's jaw clenched and he sighed through his nose before bringing his eyes to meet mine.

"I am with you. Always and forever."

I surged forward, rapidly closing the distance between us to wrap Finn in the tightest hug imaginable. After a second he wrapped his arms around me, too, holding me against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, steadily reminding me he was here with me, and I absolutely never wanted to let go.

"I'll call my mother in the morning," he muttered into my hair, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Tell her I'm not going to help her. There's too much worth living for, and plenty of ways to exist without being monsters."

"And I'll call Elijah. Tell him you're officially stepping back, and to keep the drama the hell out of our life together once and for all."

Finn chuckled, the sound vibrations rumbling through his chest. With Finn officially here to stay, with me, the way we should've been a long time ago, I felt more at peace than I had in a long, long time. And I was going to make sure nothing ruined that peace, ever again.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21

[writerscall]

bruises.

spiderwoman!hazel au. she's known about hazel's little secret for a while now and she's done giving her excuses a free pass.

author's note/s: 1.2k words. trigger warning for talk of injuries, switched to the use of 'you' here for reader cause third person wasn't working for me

It's routine for you to replenish the contents of the first-aid kit in your bedside table's drawer now. You even keep one in your locker and have had many silent debates with yourself on keeping a small one in your bag, just in case. For the past four months, Hazel Callahan has been climbing up to your window to ask for your help with treating a bruise or two. Because of that new women's self-defense club - the "fight club" that started up at school, she said.

Which was incidentally formed about a week after the first news headline came out about some masked vigilante swinging around the city. Fighting crime and saving civilians and beating up bad guys and all that.

Now coincidental rather than incidental for you though, since the day you saw Hazel rushing into her house then saw the infamous Spiderwoman spring out of her bedroom window mere seconds later. You were stunned, but it wasn't hard for you to connect the dots. Your already had your suspicions about some of the bruises Hazel supposedly got from her club; you doubt any of the girls there could actually land a hit that could damage her that badly.

But it's not an easy thing to bring up or just ask about, so you've kept quiet about it. Until that night, however.

You're half-asleep when you hears the incessant knocking at her window. You try not to groan as you throw back the covers and get up, knowing exactly who it is, but whatever irritation you have is gone once you see Hazel's face in the moonlight.

"Jesus Christ," you mutter as you pull her inside, hurriedly moving across the room to switch the light on. "Are you okay?"

"Pretty sure I've been better." Hazel smiles, actually smiles with that joke. But you can only sigh at her in response. Hazel literally looked like she got her face smashed into a wall or to the ground repeatedly - considering the people and things you've seen her fight against, that might've been what happened. There was a bruise along her jawline that you were sure you wouldn't be able to help cover up with make-up the next day and a cut on her forehead where a previous one just healed.

"Let me guess. It's from fight club again?" You manage not to make air quotations at 'fight club' but can't help the disbelieving tone when you say it. There's no way she expects you to believe that.

But as usual, she does. "I was just caught off guard cause we were practicing 'til late at night today and... and I was tired, cause you know, we had a whole day of school earlier and," Hazel stumbles out. The tone you used clearly got to her. "And when I fell it was to the ground and not the mat cause Sylvie got in a really, really good punch. You should've seen it actually."

You say nothing as you let her sit on the side of your bed and take the first-aid kit out, still quiet as you start wiping her face gently. She watches you intently, mouth opening and closing a few times before finally saying, "Don't be so worried. It's not the first time you've seen me like this and I'm always fine after."

"Yeah, sure." Until it happens again, you want to add. You get up to throw the wipes and tissues away and you can feel her eyes on you with every step. Hazel's never been good at dealing with friends being angry with her; you knew how sensitive she could be, which was why you were always quick to reassure her whenever it seemed like she was taking something to heart. It's why you've been patient for so long with her keeping the whole Spiderwoman thing a secret, but you didn't know how much longer you could take seeing her all beaten up and hear one lie after the other on how she supposedly got them.

"Please don't be mad—"

"When are you going to stop lying to me?"

Something shifts in the air at your question. You don't have to look at her to know how her eyes have widened and how her mouth was probably hanging open in shock, or how her mind was definitely racing at what you could possibly be talking about. Even though deep down, she knew.

You turn back around, sighing. "I know, Hazel. About your secret web-slinging life."

Hazel sits up straighter at your admission then stands up abruptly to pace the room, a panicked look on her face. "When did you— how did you even—"

"Does it matter? Why didn't you tell me?" You walk towards her and grab her by the arms, forcing her to stop. "You know you can trust me. I would never, ever tell anyone."

"That's not the point!" She shakes out of your grasp. "That's not the point," she repeats in a softer voice, continuing with, "You can't know. Nobody can because anybody who knows gets put in danger, and they'll come after you eventually to get to me, and I can't let that happen. Not to you, not to my mom, not to any of the girls in fight club. Especially not to you."

Your chest tightens at that. Quietly, you ask, "Why?"

There's a resigned, expectant look on her face when she says, "You know why."

And you do. The two of you have always been great friends but there's always been something else there, something a little more that neither of you were brave enough to acknowledge in fear of ruining what you had. You'd be lying if you said you never noticed the drop in her energy and expression every time you so much as made a passing comment that one of your classmates was cute, and you'd also be lying if you said you never thought anything about the weird feeling you got in your stomach when you saw how much closer she and Stella-Rebecca have gotten since joining the fight club together.

"I need you safe," Hazel says after a moment.

"You'll keep me safe. You'll protect me." You walk towards her again, reaching out to hold her roughed-up face in your hands. Almost instinctively, Hazel leans her cheek into your left palm. "I know you will because you would've done it whether I knew your secret or not. Because you're a good person and a fantastic superhero, Hazel."

Hazel just looks at you for a moment, clearly having some internal argument with herself, before she surges forward to kiss you. You press your lips firmly against hers, kissing her back soundly in case she'd panic and pull away too soon. But Hazel only pulls you in closer, a relieved sigh escaping her as she tilts her head to the side for a different angle.

If a kiss between the two of you was ever going to happen, then it was bound to be in some big reveal moment like this.

Reluctantly, you push her away after a moment because you couldn't let her or yourself get carried away; that first-aid couldn't be put away just yet, plus, your parents might've been dead asleep but they were still home. Both of you would have to put a raincheck on... whatever could've come next.

"Can I stay over tonight?" Hazel asks breathlessly, still eyeing your lips. You smile at her fondly and let out a chuckle, pushing her bangs away from her face.

"Yeah. I still need to fix up that cute face of yours, you know."

[ingravinoveritas]

Babe not wanting to put more attention on this pathetic person but there’s someone here on tumblr who made a mock account of you

Hi there! I've been debating whether to address this publicly, but I received numerous DMs about this last night and have been made well aware of the blog in question.

For context: Over the last few days, the person behind the mock blog has used their main account to make their presence known on my blog, having reblogged one of my posts just to add a nasty comment to it, replying to another one of my posts and attacking my followers, and sending me a hateful Ask, all in escalating succession. This culminated in the creation of the new account last night, which had a name that was an almost identical dupe of my blog name.

To be clear, I have no intention of linking to this blog publicly, as this person's goal and aim seems to be for me to engage with them--someone I do not know, and to whom I have never spoken or responded in any capacity. It also seems that the URL of the blog has changed from being a copy of my blog name to something else, and given that I had a lot of people DMing me indicating that they reported the blog to Tumblr, my guess is that the name change is the result of that.

The only other thing that I will say regarding this is that I'm obviously not thrilled that someone created a blog for the purpose of harassing me (while ironically accusing me of harassing Georgia and AL, despite me repeatedly stating that I do not follow either of them on social media and am strongly against anyone leaving harassing comments on any of their accounts). At the same time, however, I have been subject to far worse in my previous fandom--most notably, one vile incident where someone falsely accused me of distributing pornographic material to a minor, and another incident where the same person contacted my employer in an attempt to get me fired in the middle of lockdown in 2020. So all things considered, this blog is relatively mild in comparison.

And while I'm enormously grateful for the support that I have received from so many kind folks, I would urge you to not engage with this blog on any level, and please especially do not send this person threats of any kind on my behalf. I've said many times on my blog that people are welcome to disagree with me, and that I'm happy to hear the opinions of others who do not share my views as long as they are civil and respectful. What this person is doing is neither of those things, and they've made it clear that engaging with them would be a fruitless endeavor, but that still does not make it okay to send anyone hate. And if the desired outcome here is attention, then the best course of action would be to not provide it.

Again, my deepest thanks to you @phantomstars24 and to everyone else who has let me know about the situation and offered their support, as it means more than I can describe. I'm hopeful that we can continue sharing the joy so many of us have felt over Michael and David these past few years, and leave the rest where it belongs...

[forestkniight]

I'll Be Seeing You

✯ Chapter 1 ✯

Okay, it's been a while since I've written a fic that wasn't a one-shot, so I'm really hoping that it's something I can keep up with. I currently have about four chapters planned, but they are still developing. Even in this chapter, I changed a few things to make the story flow better!

Pairing: Fizzarolli x reader (still debating if I want to make it a polyamorous relationship eventually)

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 3K

When you’re a kid, the sky's the limit regarding your dreams. No one expects you to have it all figured out, and for the most part, a little voice in your head tells you that you’ll make it out of your situation. Little did you know, it would come at a cost. 

~~

Clutching your chest, you quickly sit up as you try to calm your frantic heartbeat. Several weeks have passed, and you keep having dreams of your past and all the choices that got you where you are today. You take a breath as you look at the slivers of red that pass through the opening of your curtain. 

How long has it been since you fell asleep?

You sigh as you reach for your phone to catch up on anything you might have missed while sleeping, which wasn’t much. Nothing new there. You lay back in bed and stare at the ceiling. These days seem to be going by slower, and you blame it on the lack of sleep due to the dreams. 

Flashes of red and white. 

Of horses.

Of black and white horns.

You shake your head as you check the time. It was still early, and you wouldn’t have to check into work until later on. You currently work as a singer at a live music club in the Pride Ring. You didn’t live an expensive life, but you were content for the most part, especially when you got to sing. When you were a child, all you ever wanted to do was perform in front of people and make them feel something. You never got that opportunity as a child, though. You wince as a memory enters your mind.

“Blitzo! I have to clean that up,” you pouted as you picked up the garbage your friend tossed everywhere on the floor. 

“It’s not my fault you got me a gift and made it impossible to open,” Blitzo says while trying to untape the gift box that was previously in another taped-up gift box. 

You couldn’t help but smile widely as you waited for Blitzo to finally get to the actual gift. You glanced at Fizz, who was just as excited about the gift as your other friend. As if sensing your gaze, he looked up at you and stuck his tongue out at you.

“This is low, even for you! You know Blitzo can’t resist a gift,” Fizz teased.

You giggled as you saw Blitzo’s frustration at opening the gift box and finding yet another gift box inside. 

“Well, I couldn’t make it easy for him,” you said, reaching out to grab the discarded tape Blitzo had thrown to the side. " Besides, his gift is in the next box.”

Fizz smiled and shook his head at you. He looked back at Blitzo's hand, and he was close to opening the final gift box. Once he managed it, he removed its contents.

“No way,” Blitzo’s eyes lit up as he took out a little gold figurine of a horse and a heart-shaped locket.

“I was walking around some shops in my free time and saw it in the window. I knew right away that it was meant for you,” you said as Blitzo launched himself at you, nearly tackling you.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he said as he hugged you before releasing you to admire his new figurine some more. 

“It’s no problem, Blitzo! You deserve it and more. Now,” you turn and take another gift box from close by, “I couldn’t forget a gift for my second favorite clown!”

Blitzo giggles as Fizz slightly frowns.

“Not funny.”

“Awww, come on Fizz. I’m just joking. You know you’re my favorite,” you giggled as Blitzo’s jaw dropped. 

Fizz instantly beams at the use of the word favorite. 

“Anyways, I saw this in the window, and I-”

“What’s going on here?”

The three of you turn towards the voice belonging to Blitzo’s dad, Cash. 

“Look, Dad! It’s a gold-”

“Shouldn’t you be cleaning the bleachers,” Cash turns to look at you, “They’re not cleaning themselves, girl!”

You felt your face flush in embarrassment at being talked down to in front of your friends, especially when they had acts in the circus. You were just a janitor for all intents and purposes. 

“Sir, I was just taking a little break with my friends,” you said with a tiny voice.

You hated feeling so small—not in a childlike way, but in a way that made you feel like your life was worth less because you were there to clean everybody else’s mess. 

“If you want a break, how about I fire you now, and you get all the breaks you want, huh? And what did I tell you about distracting my star,” Cash snapped at you. 

You felt your eyes tear up as you looked at Blitzo, whose head hung low. You felt bad for him. His own father preferred another boy as his son. You remembered the time his father had sold him for such a low cost and made him steal. That felt like so long ago now.

“I know, sir, but we’re kids too…We just want-”

“I don’t care! Fizzarolli, do you think that big clowns get to where they are because they spend their time talking to the help,” Cash said cruelly.

You turned to look at Fizz. He looked down at the unopened gift box in his hands before setting it slightly off to the side. 

“Fizzy?”

Your voice cracked as you realized he wasn’t going to respond. You looked up at Cash and saw the shit-eating grin he had on his face. You couldn’t help the tears beginning to pool in your eyes.

“I’ll get started right away, sir. I hope you enjoy your gift, Blitzo. Sorry for distracting you from your work, Fizzarolli,” you said bitterly. 

Cash watched as you picked up the last remnants of trash from Blitzo’s gift. You stood up and were getting ready to leave, but not before quickly snatching the letter attached to Fizz’s gift. You could see Fizz’s distress at your action, and you watched him throw a random piece of trash he had been playing with in front of him. Still, you walked forward. You wanted to walk away with some dignity.

“Aren’t you going to pick that up,” Cash barked at you, looking at the scrap in front of Fizz. 

Blitzo and Fizz looked at you as you slowly walked before him and picked up the scrap of trash, a tear running down your face. You couldn’t even bear looking at either of them at this point. You sprinted out of the small tent to head to the main tent and begin your work.

Your heart tugs as you push the memory out of your head. It was bad enough living through it. You don't need to be reminded of it anymore, considering you’ve seen commercials of Blitzø and Fizzarolli as adults. It hurt seeing their faces, especially after the way you left. Still, you wouldn’t allow yourself to dwell on it for longer than a few minutes. There was no point. Thinking about it wouldn’t change what happened. 

~~

After lazing around all day, you finally begin walking to work. You could take a car there, but it was so close, and you enjoy the time it gives you to mentally prepare. While performing was always your dream, it still got you nervous, especially if the crowd in the club was bigger than usual. Some days, the line would stretch outside the club door’s entrance. 

As you walk down the street, looking at the sights, you catch sight of a locket in one of the shop windows. You stop as you instinctively reach up to your locket tucked away under your shirt. You feel a ghost of a smile as you remember the gift you had given Blitzo and Fizzarolli. Your locket had pictures of a young Blitzo and Fizzarolli, Blitzo’s had a picture of you and Fizzarolli, and Fizzarolli’s had a picture of you and Blitzo. You sigh as you wish you could have seen Fizz’s reaction to the locket (and the letter, but that was neither here nor there). 

You see the club fast approaching and notice people already arriving for the night. So much for practicing on stage when you arrive. It must have been one of those nights when they would open the club a bit earlier. 

You quickly step to the side entrance and are let in by one of the bartenders on break. You shoot them a quick smile before finding your way to your dressing room. You always need a moment to take a breath and warm up. You begin humming as you apply minimal makeup. You just required enough so that the spotlight wouldn’t wash you out. You hear faint music in the background as you look at the door of your room through the mirror’s reflection, another memory sneaking back up. 

After cleaning the main tent, you decided to retire to the secret location you went to when you felt sad. You would typically watch your friends perform, but you didn’t want to talk to anyone about what happened earlier. You figured you could stay there until late at night before sneaking back into your tent. 

You finally made it to the location, which consisted of a lot of open space and a giant tree you liked to sit under. You softly threw yourself under the tree as you looked up at the sky, which always seemed to be the same shade of red despite the time. You closed your eyes as you tried to find a way to pass the time. However, your eyes shot open when you heard a tree branch rustling. Before you knew it, something, or more like someone, swung down from the tree branch to sit next to you.

“Heya,” Blitzo said, throwing his hands out and laying beside you. 

You rolled your eyes at how he seemed to have forgotten what had transpired earlier. 

“Blitzo, I told you to stop coming here! This is my secret place,” you whined. 

Blitzo turned to look at you, and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“It’s not exactly a secret if people can easily walk to it from the circus.”

“Still…” 

You wanted to be alone, but Blitzo always had a way of showing up when that was the case. Some part of you was glad. Even though you wanted to be alone, it didn’t mean that was what you needed, and being around Blitzo always made you feel better. You were content to stay silent, but that wasn’t what Blitzo had in mind.

“Oh! Fizz wants to see you after the show. He wants to talk to you and get the complete gift,” Blitzo said as he sat up, looking down at you.

You quirked your eyebrow as you sat up as well. The complete gift? He must be on about the letter. 

“I wouldn’t want to distract Fizzarolli from all the important stuff he has to do,” your words are filled with sarcasm. 

“He’s coming here whether you like it or not. My dad can’t be the reason your friendship goes down the drain,” he plays with his hands, “he can’t ruin anything else.”

You feel your attitude drop at that last part. You make eye contact with him and nod to confirm that you will give Fizz the complete gift. He smiles slightly, and your eyes catch the locket around his neck. You feel a smile start to spread. He follows your gaze and rolls your eyes.

“Yea, yea. It’s not a big deal,” he stands. " Anyway, I've got to get ready for the show, but I’ll see you after, okay?”

“Alright,” you respond hesitantly as you watch him start the walk back to the main circus tent. Eventually, he walks into the tent, leaving you alone again.

You reach down to your pocket where you had folded up the letter you would give to Fizz. You had spent so much time ensuring everything was perfect, only for the moment to be ruined. You sigh and throw yourself back again, allowing the tears to reappear. This was a safe place to do so. 

The wind was blowing slightly, and you couldn’t help but reflect on your life at the circus. You had joined after you were left alone due to…circumstances. Luckily for you, Fizz and Blitzo found you on the street and asked if you were alright. If only little you could see where you were now. Would you have taken their outstretched hands? 

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you did know it wasn’t long until people started flooding out of the tents. You felt your stomach do flips. Were you ready to tell Fizz what the letter said, especially after his silence today? Your love for him was unconditional. You only ever saw Fizz, your best friend, not Fizzarolli, the performer. You cared so deeply for him and Blitzo. They saved you and made a home in your heart that would never disappear, but you were dreaming if you thought they would ever forget your place at the circus. 

But what did that mean for you? Would you be willing to stay in a place that would lead to you yearning for something that would never happen? Were you willing to stand by and watch your friends move on in life without you? Fall in love without you? Watch Fizz fall in love with someone? 

You sat up as tears began flowing faster down your face. Your heart was in your throat as years of self-hate and pain started pouring out. Your sobs become audible. 

No, you wouldn’t become the pathetic friend who fell in love with someone they couldn’t have, the pathetic friend who thought that what they did didn’t matter as much as who they were. 

You looked up at the circus, a decision being made in your mind. You stood up and quickly ran back to your tent. You tried to listen to the performance and realized it was two acts from the end. You quickly grabbed your backpack and packed only the most valuable things you owned. The rest could be replaced, but things like gifts from your friends, items from your past before the circus, and even a hoodie from the circus were something you couldn’t part with. 

The final act was beginning—Blitzo and Fizz’s duo act. Your heart pounded as you thought about what you were doing. It wouldn’t hurt to try to see just the beginning, so you left your backpack hidden by the circus’ entrance. You snuck into the main tent and climbed to a location where only Blitzo and Fizz could see you. They still hadn’t dropped down, and you saw them messing around from across the space. Blitzo saw you first, and he beamed at you as he waved. You couldn’t help the smile that automatically appeared as you waved back. Fizz turned to see what he was waving at and saw you. He gave you a soft smile with a hesitant wave, and you felt your smile falter. 

Your first love. That’s what it was. Boy, was it frightening. But you wouldn’t fuck up his life. You knew he would make it far without you. You gave him a sad smile and noticed both of their concerned expressions. 

‘Why?’ You see Blitzo mouth, and your eyebrows raise. He mimes tears, and you reach up and feel them. 

You quickly wiped them away and chuckled to yourself. You’re terrible at leaving, but you had to, and their entrance was fast approaching.

‘It’s fine, I’m okay,’ you mouth back with gestures to match. 

They look at each other before turning to look at you worriedly. They can’t do anything, though.  They won’t. They have their jobs to do. You watched Fizz grab the rope nearby that he would swing down on, but not before turning to look at you again.

‘See you after,’ he mouths before raising his voice to ask Blitzo if he is ready. You begin making your descent, and you walk out of the tent. You quickly grab your backpack and take off at full speed towards the tree. 

FIzz was the one who showed you this tree. You liked pretending it was a secret space just for you, but it was all of yours. You stared up at it, and you felt the tears come back. You were okay, though. This was for the best. You pull out the letter you wrote to Fizz and place it at the tree's base. You didn’t bother weighing it down. If it flew away, it’d probably be a sign. Part of you hoped it would blow away, just like you. You turn towards the main tent and notice the early leavers are already spilling out. 

“There’s the rest of the gift, Fizzy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed getting to know you—the both of you. You saved my life in more ways than you know. I know you’ll do great things,” you whisper as you turn to leave. You hear the sound of people getting louder, and you run—for the second time in your life. 

Your eyes focus on your figure in the mirror, and your mascara was running a bit. 

“Damn it,” you move to get tissue papers, “I need to stop thinking back. We’re all better off now.”

You look unconvinced in the mirror and try on a smile to trick your body into believing it is okay. 

“It’s fine, you’re okay,” you whisper. 

You hear a knock on your door, followed by the stage manager’s minute warning. You take a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror again. 

You looked like a proper singer. You smile gently and head out to the club's backstage area. The curtains are closed, and you can hear the hum of music and people having fun. You hear the emcee announcing your act next, and you can’t help but think about how far you have come. 

You did it. You made it out.

The curtains open, and the spotlight lands on you.

I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter! I'm really pumped to get the rest of these chapters written and published. I don't have a set timeline since I'm currently in college, working a job, and performing in a theater production, but I will try to work on this whenever I can!

Also, just a little spoiler: in the next chapter, we will see someone from our main narrator's past (outside of flashbacks)!

Edit: The original name of this fic was "Dream a Little Dream of Me," but I have decided to change it to "I'll Be Seeing You" since this song fits the story a bit more!

[just-a-creep-babe]

A Demon’s Ache — Part 2

Eyeless Jack x Reader (NSFW)

Part 1

Commissioned by @cookiereblogss tysm darling, I really appreciate the support <333

I've given it a title so therefore, I have officially made it a ✨thing✨ The outline has 6 parts rn, but I'm far from done~

AND once I finish Dirty Little Secret on my patreon, I'm thinking I'll rewrite this series but in like,, the reader's POV. So anyways, all that to say I've very much been enjoying this and I'm excited to keep it going uwu 💕💞💓

I've also been having some formatting issues on this one, for some reason?? I tried fixing it up but please lmk if there's anything off AND lmk if you enjoyed <3

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Join my Patreon if you’d like to support me <3

Masterlist: x

It comes as no surprise when he ends up in bed, hard dick in his hand, thinking of you for the god-knows-how-many-th time

Try as he might to fervently rut into his clenched fist, he knows no feeling would ever compare to you bouncing on his cock instead

The taste of you on his tongue had dissipated much too quickly, but that doesn’t stop him from desperately trying to reimagine your arousal on his lips

He grunts, his hips grinding up, cock tensing and twitching in his hold

It’s torturous

He needs you

Precum beads up at his tip, and all he can think about is the way you’d lap it up with your tongue

Friends

Every time he imagines all the ways he could fuck you senseless, the word friends interrupts his fantasy

Really, he knows what he’s doing is wrong

He shouldn’t be having such depraved thoughts about someone who doesn’t want anything to do with him beyond friendship

But he can’t help it

You drive him wild

The sounds of your pretty little moans and whimpers are stuck on repeat in his head

The way your body writhed in his touch, the way your perfectly wet cunt tightened around his tongue—everything about you gets him drunk with lust

His room feels unbearably hot

Try as he might to relieve the throbbing ache of his stiff cock, it’s no use

He can’t be satisfied without you

And he realizes, fuck, you’ve triggered a heat

The next few days are absolute hell

He’s on and off his heat

Every time it’s on the cusp of dissipating, his thoughts scramble back to you, and it starts all over again

He waits at least a week before leaving his room—just to be sure seeing you won’t jeopardize anything

And it’s only a day or two after he leaves his room that he runs into you again

It’s an early morning, with pale sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows

You’re at the table, sipping on a coffee, and a few other creeps are scattered about the dining room and kitchen

He doesn’t know whether he should be irritated or grateful that there are other people around

Probably the latter, considering he wouldn’t know how to act if it was just the two of you

But it’s hard to feel grateful when Jeff decides to take a seat right next to you

And god, does he ever hate the way that guy looks at you sometimes

He debates staying or going as he makes his coffee

Staying might aggravate him if he notices Jeff trying to pull any moves on you

But on the other hand, leaving might risk something developing between you and Jeff

The more he can interfere between you and other potential suitors, the better

He can’t let anyone else have you

So even though he’s, admittedly, being childish when he takes the other open spot next to you, he tries to play it off like it’s nothing

Like he hasn’t been jerking off to the thought of you for the past week

You don’t seem to notice, but Jack doesn’t miss the way Jeff glares at him when he sits

Try me, Jack wants to say

Jeff huffs out a breath when he realizes the hybrid won’t back off

And the sheer audacity of that guy—thinking he can just waltz up to you and have you all to himself—it unlocks something primal within Jack

“What’s wrong?”

Your voice, as angelic as ever, suddenly breaks the mounting tension in the room

Jack feels like a filthy perv when the first thing that comes to mind is all those pretty sounds you made when you came against his mouth

He just wants to fuck more of those precious sounds out of you

Deep breaths, deep breaths

“What? What do you mean what’s wrong?” Jeff answers your question with his own, trying to act dumb

And thankfully, the grating sound of his voice is enough to snap Jack out of his fantasy

“Why do you look so aggravated all of a sudden?” you ask, your tone lighthearted and joking as you sip your coffee

“Yeah, Jeff, is something wrong?”

Jack tries to keep his voice as genuine as possible when he backs you up, but he knows Jeff is fully aware of the cocky grin he’s wearing beneath his mask

And he has to suppress a snicker when the guy glowers at him

“Just… life,” Jeff haphazardly grumbles, not wanting to admit Jack’s ruined the alone time he wanted with you

A cruel joke comes to the demon’s mind

It’s dumb and immature, and he knows he shouldn’t say it, but he wants to say it

So, he does

“Oh,” he hums, “is it that problem you’ve mentioned to me before?”

Jeff’s eyes meet his, brow arching

“What problem?” he asks, taking the bait

“You know,” Jack continues, trying to act as natural as possible, “that issue you’ve been having. I told you, you might need to change your diet. More fiber would help you become more regular…”

His chest practically swells with pride when you snort out a laugh

“Oh my god, is that what it is?”

You burst out laughing even harder at the expression on Jeff’s face

“The fuck!? That’s not even true! Why would you say that—what the fuck is your problem, man?!”

He can try to say whatever he wants, but it’s no use; he knows Jack’s gotten the best of him

With an angry snort, he stands

“Whatever, I’m over this,” he growls

And just like that, he walks away, leaving you and a very self-satisfied Jack alone at the table

He finally has you all to himself

Well, minus the creeps coming in and out for coffee and breakfast

But at least none of them seem particularly interested in you

Not in the way Jeff seemed to be, anyways

“Christ, he’s so dramatic,” you chuckle, shaking your head with a smile on your lips

There are suddenly butterflies in Jack’s stomach

God, you’re so fucking cute

“Was that even true?”

You look at him when you ask the question, and he almost forgets how to breathe for a minute

He shrugs, hoping you don’t notice the effect you have on him

“If he’s constipated? I mean, I don’t know if I should say anything about it. Seems like he’s embarrassed about it…”

You shake your head with a snicker

He wants to kiss you

Fuck, he really, really wants to kiss you right now

Crash his lips into yours until he’s all you can think about

He wants to wrap your legs around him, slam your back against the table and make out with you until you’re a pretty little dazed mess beneath him

Blood rushes to his junk

He shifts in place, trying to ignore it

Friends

As unwanted as ever, he’s reminded of that fucking word again

But even despite it, he isn’t entirely sure where the two of you stand

Hell—he’s more uncertain than ever

Did you really want to forget that whole thing happened in the first place?

Go about things like normal—as if he hadn’t buried his face between your thighs?

As if you hadn’t pulled his hair and whimpered his name when you came against his lips?

He takes a sip of his coffee in a vain attempt to distract himself

But it’s hard to think straight when his dick keeps throbbing for attention

He quietly clears his throats, as if that could help anything, and he shifts in place again, subtly trying to readjust himself in his grey sweats

It’s only when his knuckles accidentally graze your bare thigh, only when he hears your quiet little gasp, that he freezes in place

The sound was barely audible, but he knows what he heard

He glances down, and he almost groans out loud when he notices what you’re wearing

It’s those same fucking shorts

He’s at a loss for what to do

The both of you are in the middle of the kitchen dining room—for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t be having half the thoughts he’s having right now

But even then, he can’t bring himself to pull his hand away from your thigh

The minimal amount of skin-on-skin contact is making his head spin

He needs more

He’s never felt so insatiable

He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist stroking at your leg

The motion is slow, soft, calculated, so that he can enjoy every inch of your perfect skin

Neither of you move as he gently traces over your thigh with the back of his knuckles

His chest is pounding

He can hear your heart beating, your breath hitching in your throat whenever he gets closer to the edges of your shorts

He wants you

God, does he ever want you

That pesky word keeps coming to mind again, but he forces himself to forget about it

For now—at the very least

You don’t make a move to stop him

You almost seem to welcome his touch

But that uncertainty is still there

Which is why he takes things unbearably slowly when he moves his hand between your legs to grasp at the flesh of your inner thighs

You make what sounds like a quiet whimper

And the sound goes right to his cock

As if a whole week of jerking off to you wasn’t enough

Inch by inch, his touch dances further up along your thigh

And though it’s subtle, he can’t not notice the way you part your legs just the slightest bit more for him

You’re giving him permission to touch you—right here, right now—of all places?

He breathes in, and when he gets a whiff of your scent, he decides fuck it, there’s no way he can let this opportunity slip him by

So under the cover of the table, even despite the few creeps still lingering about, he pushes past the material of your shorts to access your sex

You’re wet

You’re already turned on for him—he can feel it through your underwear

Screw anyone around to see, he wants to bend you over this table right now and fuck his cum inside you

He wants to breed you and mark you and make sure everyone knows by the sounds of your screams that you’re all fucking his

He strokes your slit up and down through your panties, and he adores the way it has you squirming in place

Fuck, you’re so cute

He wants to ruin you

But he also wants to enjoy every second of this

So he takes his sweet, sweet time running his fingers along your covered sex until he can feel you getting wetter and wetter

It isn’t long for you to thoroughly soak through your panties

And all he wants is to taste you all over again

He swallows down a growl at the thought

His body’s burning for yours

You keep squirming and quietly gasping as he teases you

And he’s so entranced by you, he nearly forgets you’re in an open room

All he can focus on is the way your body’s reacting to him

Whatever delicate threads of control he’s still grasping onto feel like they’re slipping from his hold

When you whine his name out, so cute and desperate and needy for him, it’s all the approval he needs

He pushes your underwear to the side and runs his fingers up and down your slit

The way your arousal gathers on the pads of his fingers almost makes him lose it

He just wants to pull you into his lap and fuck up into you until you’re gushing around his cock

But somehow, he manages to hold himself back

He teases at your clit very, very briefly, before then slowly sinking two digits into your opening

His chest rumbles with an involuntary groan as he immediately feels you clench around him

You bite back a moan, but he can still hear the way you sigh at the feeling

You’re so wet, so perfectly tight around him

He imagines how good you’d feel wrapped around his dick

You shift in place, breathing his name out in a shaky moan, and it’s a miracle he still has the self-control to not screw your brains out yet

He’s about to suggest taking things to your room when Hoodie walks in and locks eyes with you

If Jack were any more coherent beyond his lust, he’d probably pull his hand out of your pants

But he’s beyond giving a shit at this point

The proxy pauses, almost curiously, and instead of going for the fridge or pantry, or wherever he was going to go, he makes his way towards you

Jack feels you stiffen

You clench around his fingers, your breathing uneven

He knows he should stop

But he’s not done enjoying the warmth of your tight cunt fluttering around him

And so what if Hoodie notices?

At least then, he’d know who you belong to

The demon is entirely aware he’s being selfish

But he can’t bring himself to care

He’s too far gone

So even as he watches Hoodie greet you, even as he watches you, dazed and horny and sex-drunk off his fingers, struggling to greet the proxy normally, he doesn’t pull away

Let him know

Let him know who you’re allowing to do such depraved things to you

“(Y/n), you missed our training session this morning,” Hoodie says, and a bout of anger flares up in Jack’s chest

Oh how he loathes the thought of another man getting physical with you

It makes him curl his fingers inside you to reach right up against a spot that has you cinching around him

You squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip briefly before you can recover

“Y-yeah, uhm, sorry about that”

Your voice is shaky, your face visibly flushed

But you haven’t even tried to stop Jack yet

You want this as much as he does

“I, ah, I meant to let you know, but I—I forgot… to mention it”

In and out, the hybrid painstakingly slowly pumps his fingers inside your velvety walls as you try to talk normally

He flattens his palm against your clit, and your hips buck against his touch, which you quickly try to pass off as shifting in your seat

“Hm, that’s alright,” the proxy hums, then tilts his head curiously. “Is it because you weren’t feeling well? You look kind of… off”

Jack stiffens as the man reaches out to press his hand against your cheek

It’s just to check if you’re feverish, the logical part of him knows that, but the irrational part of him despises that he’s just laid a finger on you

A warning growl emanates out of his chest—low enough that it seems to slip Hoodie’s attention, but loud enough that you seem to notice it

You’re his—what’s not to fucking understand?

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just… ah, j-just didn’t sleep too well—“

Something like a choked moan evades you again, and you have to pretend to cough to avoid suspicion

Jack grinds his hand against your clit, and your whole body reacts to his touch

“S’alright,” the demon hums, and he briefly wonders if Hoodie notices the unusually husky timber of his voice when he does, “she might have the flu, but I’m checking up on it. She should be fine, nothing serious”

You squirm, and he teases at your sweet spot again, the calloused pads of his fingers rubbing right where you need it most

You can’t look Hoodie in the eyes as your thighs start trembling

Your hand looks unsteady as you bring the coffee to your lips, but you manage to drink it down without spilling anything

The proxy glances between you and Jack, and Jack wonders if he’s caught on yet

Either way, if he has, he doesn’t show it

“Well, alright, I hope you feel better soon. Let me know when you want to train next time”

You nod, humming to hide another whimper as Jack’s fingers don’t relent

And then finally, finally, Hoodie leaves

As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jack crams his fingers into your inviting heat in a slew of rough thrusts

You gasp, almost moaning out very loudly before you manage to cover your mouth to muffle it

It doesn’t take long for you to cum around his digits

And god, you’re breath-taking as you do so

Your back arches, body tensing as your teeth bite down hard into your lips to prevent a scream from escaping

How he wishes those were his teeth biting into you instead

And just like that first time he made you cum, he can’t seem to bring himself to stop

It’s only when you’re shaking from the overstimulation, only when you reach out to pull his hand away, that he finally relents

His fingers are dripping with your arousal

He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist bringing them up to his mouth to taste you off his digits

And fuck, you taste just as good as you did the first time

You’re panting, chest heaving, a perfectly unfocused look in your eyes

He wants to pick you up, take you to the nearest bedroom and fuck you stupid

Friends, fuck-buddies, potential partners—he doesn’t know where the two of you stand

But at this point, labels don’t matter, he thinks, not really, anyways

He’s not letting anything come between the two of you

You're his

[walkingstackofbooks]

AITA for being "too dedicated" to my job?

Unfortunately I can't give too many details, my work is pretty strict on privacy, but let's say I (48 m) work as for this security company. I'm in charge of recruiting and vetting new candidates - as you can imagine, this is a pretty rigorous process, and there is no room for mistakes. I wish I could say how bad the consequences would be if we hired someone with bad intentions, but that might pinpoint what I do too accurately.

So there's a doctor (m 33) who works for one of our sister companies - obviously there's a lot of information that needs protecting in the medical field - and we've had our eye on him for a while. About a year ago, it turned out he'd been lying about his background to cover up some illegal activities he'd done in the past - strike one. Then, a few months later, he was involved in a conspiracy to release strictly controlled information into the hands of people who would have done unspeakable things with it - strike two.

Despite this, the powers-that-be decided to keep him on - he is, admittedly, an immensely talented doctor, and there were enough mitigating circumstances in both instances that our sister company felt that he was free of blame. We, however, felt he needed closer monitoring, and so over the past few months I've been sending people in to observe him closely, so we could be sure he's working for us and not outside influences.

We didn't get anywhere. The trouble was, while he wasn't doing anything "suspicious", he was also acting so perfectly in line with regulation that that in itself seemed suspicious. Trust me, I've been working in this business for a long time - very few people are *that* good for *that* long.

So this got us thinking - either he was a very serious threat and needed to be dealt with, or else a ridiculously talented, ridiculously good doctor who would be an asset to our company, right? But the usual methods weren't getting us anywhere. And with his skills of deception (that law-breaking I mentioned? He'd hidden it for fifteen years) and capacity for sudden actions (the secret-selling was planned spontaneously within 24 hours), I know we'd have to do something slightly... off the books, let's say, to get the results we needed.

My plan was very simple - we arrested him and questioned him, using an implanted relay to record his neuroelectric responses so that we'd know for sure if he was innocent or not. Admittedly, we didn't want to cause a stir in the sister company, so on one of his days off, we carried out the whole thing in a holosuite, so that the responses of his colleagues etc. were all controlled by us, and he believed that it was real. Part of the investigation included sharing our suspicions with him that he was working for some other organisation with harmful intent, and we manufactured some evidence to see how he would respond.

Fortunately for all of us, it turned out he was innocent. It seemed our sister company had judged the mitigating circumstances well, and that those incidents truly were things in the past that he regretted - and he certainly wasn't working for anyone outside the company. In fact - just like me, it seems - he is a man who works with the company's and our clients best interests at heart, at all times. Naturally, we debriefed him, congratulated him on passing our test, and invited him to join us as a medical consultant - to put his talents to even greater use. He declined, though, and we parted ways.

So here's where the debate comes in. Some of my colleagues think I went too far in my methods, but I stand by my actions. The doctor absolutely could have been a security risk, and I'd argue, in fact, that all evidence pointed towards him being a traitor. At any rate, everyone in my company who knew about him was anxious about his loyalties before I did this, and now we don't have to expend any more resources on figuring out what his deal is.

I also believe that I wouldn't be facing this criticism if the doctor had agreed to join our company, which is a decision I had no control over. Some of my colleagues feel that he would have been a real asset and are frustrated that my actions put him off our company - however, I would argue that if he can't understand the reasons for what I did, he's not a good fit for our company anyway. And besides, it's only been a week, he might well change his mind in the future. It's really too early to tell.

Tl;dr - my job is investigating security threats. I used a simulated environment to arrest and interrogate a doctor about whom everyone in my company had extreme concerns, and discovered he was not a threat. Now some people are saying I went too far: I say I was just doing my job.

(in response to this challenge set by @the-last-dillpickle and @hellostuffedtiger for Sloan AITA posts)

[misc-obeyme]

For the event, may I request “Let me try.” with Solomon? (Not sure if that prompt has been taken already lol)

Anyhow, have a wonderful day/evening ^^

Hello, anon!

That prompt was indeed available, so you're good! I really debated with myself about whether to make this one angsty or not, but in the end I went with fluff. This is because several prompts have been chosen for Solomon and I have no doubt that at least a few of them will end up on the angsty side of things! Also I took some artistic liberties with potion ingredients, so there's that lol.

Thank you for participating!

1,000 Followers Event!

GN!MC x Solomon with prompt "Let me try."

Warnings: none!

There was something all consuming about trying to master a potion, especially when the ingredients needed to have precise measurements, the concoction called for exact swirling motions, and the complexity of it both challenged and excited you.

It was already past dinner, but you couldn't tear yourself away from the potions lab at RAD. It was your last class and you had told Belphie to go on home without you. The professor had given you permission to stay late and work on it. Neither of them had likely realized just how long you would stay there, completely distracted by your attempts to make the potion work.

The table you were working at was full of discarded bottles, bits of ingredients, and several loose pages of notes you had been making as you went along.

You had turned off the sound on your D.D.D. so that you could concentrate. It was sitting face down on the table nearby, most likely full of notifications from concerned demons. You were sure that Belphie had told the others you had decided to stay behind, but they likely thought you'd have come home by now.

You didn't have time to worry about that, though. You were going to make this potion work if it meant staying up all night long.

It wasn't that this particular potion did anything that mattered to you. In fact, you were pretty sure it was only meant to give the drinker heightened hearing. A fairly basic thing, but for some reason the potion itself was complicated. You'd likely never use it for anything, but that wasn't the point anymore.

You carefully poured a flask of sparkling liquid into the little bowl you were using to mix ingredients.

A single drop caused the potion to explode.

You yelped, backing up and waving at the air around you, which was now full of noxious green smoke.

"MC?"

You whirled around, startled. Who would be here at RAD at this hour?

You relaxed as you recognized Solomon standing in the doorway to the lab.

You let out a breath. "Solomon, you scared me."

Solomon came into the room to stand beside you. He smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that. I heard you yell, so I wanted to make sure you were all right. What are you doing?"

You told him about the potion and how you couldn't seem to make it work right.

"Hmm," Solomon said, looking over your piles of ingredients and pages of notes. "I'm sure you won't be happy to hear this, but I think you've mixed up some of the ingredients."

You frowned. "That can't be right. I've been using this list all night." You picked up a page from your pile, indicating the list you had jotted down during the lecture earlier that afternoon.

Solomon took the paper from your hand and leaned in to show you what he was looking at. He pointed at one of the items on your list. "This says you need devil grass, but the ingredient is actually devil sweetgrass. And this lists powdered devilstone, but it should be powered bloodstone."

"How did I write down two ingredients wrong?" you asked.

Solomon chuckled. "I don't know, MC, but that's likely the problem. Do you want me to help you try it with the right ingredients?"

You turned to look at him, about to refuse his help, but you paused. Solomon had been standing quite close to you so that you could see the ingredient list in his hand. Now you found yourself looking into his eyes. You took in the soft smile on his lips, the way he seemed to be looking at you with an overwhelming fondness.

And even though you were determined to get the potion right because now it was a matter of pride, you found you also didn't want him to leave.

"You don't mind?" you asked. "I know it's late."

"You should know by now that I don't mind helping you at any hour," Solomon said. "You're my apprentice, after all. What kind of teacher would I be if I left you to struggle with this alone?"

You huffed and took the list out of his hand. "I just can't believe I wrote these down wrong. I have to make the potion now or I'll never be able to rest."

"You're almost there," Solomon said, looking at the ingredients on the table. "You just need to change those two things."

Solomon found the missing ingredients in the lab's supply closet and brought them back over to you. The potion's meticulous instructions required the devil sweetgrass to be chopped in a specific way. You had been chopping the wrong ingredient, but you were fairly certain you had been doing it correctly.

You picked up the knife and were about to start, but Solomon stopped you by putting his hand over yours.

"You need to tilt the knife a little more like this," Solomon said, repositioning your hand.

The feeling of his hand on yours, the way you could sense him standing so close behind you, made you forget what you were doing momentarily.

You took a deep breath and began to chop. "Like this?"

"You're doing great, MC," Solomon said, still standing close behind you.

He lifted his hand from yours and let you continue on your own, but you instantly missed his touch. You scolded yourself mentally. You were here to make a potion and Solomon was here to help you. You shouldn't be letting yourself get distracted like this.

You were hyper aware of everything Solomon was doing as he guided you through the steps of making the potion. Every time he passed you some ingredients, your fingers brushed against his. You found you had a hard time looking away from his hands when he was demonstrating how to stir the potion properly. And he was always meeting your eyes, causing you to feel a little twist in your stomach.

You did your best to pretend that you were completely focused on the potion you were making. You hoped it was enough to cover up how distracted you were just by Solomon's presence.

When the potion was finally done, you looked down at the bowl and smiled. It was the correct shade of light green and nothing had exploded at all.

You grinned at Solomon. "It worked! Finally! I thought I was going to be here all night!"

Solomon smiled back at you. "Are you sure it worked? Don't you want to test it?"

You looked back down at the green potion. Certainly a potion for enhancing your hearing wouldn't be dangerous to test, right? But for some reason you were apprehensive. Probably because you had seen all the failed versions of it you had made previously.

Solomon seemed to know what you were thinking. He laughed lightly. "Why don't I test it, instead?"

You were about to protest, but you didn't have a chance. Solomon picked up the bowl and took a sip of the potion you had finally finished making.

You stared at him, eyes wide. "Did it work?"

Solomon met your eyes. "I can hear the clock ticking in the next room over. I would say that's a success."

You slumped in relief. You had been afraid something terrible was going to happen to him.

Solomon put a hand on your arm and smiled at you. "Well done, MC. I'm proud of you."

These words, his touch, caused a thrill to go through you. You tried to act nonchalant, smiling back at him.

Solomon cocked his head a little, as though listening. "MC, I can hear your heart racing."

All hope you had of keeping your composure vanished as you felt the heat rising in your face. You instantly covered it with your hands, backing away from him in your embarrassment.

Solomon laughed a little, reaching out to stop you. "You don't have to be embarrassed."

You peeked at him from between your fingers. "You're teasing me on purpose, aren't you? You've been doing it this whole time."

Solomon's amused chuckle revealed all. "You got me. How can I make it up to you?"

You turned your back to him, face still covered by your hands. "You can't!"

You were truly embarrassed and you didn't think your blush would be dying down any time soon.

You didn't move as you felt Solomon come up behind you, putting a hand on your back.

"Let me try," he said quietly into your ear.

That fluttering feeling returned to your stomach. You let him turn you around, let him gently pull your hands away from your face, let him tilt your chin to make you look at him.

When Solomon kissed you, you let yourself step into the circle of his arms, let yourself embrace that flutter in your gut, let yourself forget your embarrassment as you lost yourself in the feeling of his lips on yours.

You let yourself give in because you were beginning to realize just how much Solomon meant to you. When you were struggling, he was there to help you, even if he teased you along the way. It was how he let you know that despite his status as the most powerful sorcerer in the three worlds, he still just wanted to be with you. And who were you to hold that against him?

1,000 Followers Event | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[hms-no-fun]

i just want you to know that i read... i think Most of godfeels and had to stop because i was not enjoying it. but i think its really good and i really respect what you do. i think it's all too easy for people to mix up "this is not my cup of tea" with "this is bad and/or problematic". they dont take the time to see the artistry in it, why it is what it is, what it might be saying beyond their surface level read and the kneejerk reaction to it.

i also wanted to note that ive always been kind of scared of sharing fanworks for fear of writing "out of character" - and ive also even been afraid of it in original works. character isn't real and concrete, so anyone can decide something's out of character. so your exploration of that concept gives me more confidence as a writer. i really appreciate that and everything else you do. :)

thank you so much for this message! i'm glad you tapped out rather than force your way through something you weren't enjoying, that's a very mature response and something i wish more folks would recognize as a perfectly valid option. in fact i think pushing through and reading long after you've given up on the material, so to speak, is a great way to wind up angry at a writer for having "forced" you to endure such a trying experience. as i've said before, an author can't force you to do anything. you can close the book any time you like.

as far as the tension of "in character/out of character" goes, i think a lot of people in fandom struggle with the fact that "character" is very much in the eye of the beholder. sub-groups form within fandoms based on identities, politics, sexual predilections, etc, and typically gather around the fire that is their particular interpretation of a character. but from within that sub-group, it's rarely considered "an interpretation" so much as the obvious intended truth of the text. it's that intoxicating mood of finding people who share a perspective you rarely see elsewhere, like oh my god, you GET it, finally someone GETS it!

in homestuck fandom, for instance, quite a lot of people hate vriska and think she sucks, with a vocal sub-group of that sub-group still actively beating the drum that everything about her arc after [S] Game Over is the worst part of homestuck. but i love vriska, and my corner of the fandom very much organized around a full-throated defense of her. some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who's right and who's wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there's plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors' stated intent. the debate can never end because we are only ever talking about the version of a character or story that exists in our heads, based on the things that stuck with us when we read the thing (however long ago that was-- which is important because i find a LOT of people adamantly defending their headcanons haven't read the source text in a number of years. as time passes, your perception of the media you've experienced in the past morphs and distorts. someone who was right five years ago can be wrong today and not even notice the difference).

something i've realized in the last year is how much godfeels emerged from a very specific milieu, not just in terms of how we interpreted certain characters but in our approach to analyzing and talking about the text altogether. i believe most of the important stuff in godfeels is "in character" in most of the ways that matter, but it's built on a very specific meta that centered vrisrezi and transness and radical leftist politics and experimental hypertext. really, it's a post-Epilogues fanwork even despite the fact that godfeels 1 predates their release by a few weeks. and i think to this day a lot of homestuck fans haven't read the epilogues but have read fandom posts about how terrible they are (quite a lot of which will have either been written by teens, by people who already didn't like homestuck very much, or by one of the regressive stalkery weirdos prominent in the homestuck reddit/discord), and that misapprehension keeps them in the dark about just how many amazing tools the epilogues introduce to the homestuck formula that exponentially expand the expressive possibilities of attentive fanworks. and it of course elides the fact that the homestuck epilogues are a story about being in your 30s. i think we'll be getting a big re-appraisal of the epilogues in 5-10 years. it'll be the "twin peaks: fire walk with me" of homestuck, just you wait.

so these readers see my version of dirk being an unhinged murderous dick to a newly-out trans woman and go "he would never do that." then if i point at the epilogues, they'll say "i didn't read them/they're not even canon/that wasn't in character either." at which point there's nothing really to say, because we have two completely different perceptions of the text. who's right and who's wrong is almost always infinitely subjective, a circumstance that humans are notable for being very good at handling in a mature and politely discursive manner.

so i've got an "author's introduction" to godfeels baking in my docs to provide some context about the meta this story is built on, the milieu it came out of, that sort of thing. it won't make much of a difference in practical terms, but it'll at least be something i can point to.

in any event, thanks for this message. all i ever want is for people to give it an honest shot. i hope you can continue harvesting confidence from wherever it can be found. it takes a lot of audacity and backbone to be an artist, especially when you have something worthwhile to say. remember that you're not writing for the haters, you're writing for the kind of person, like you, who wants to see more stories like the thing you're writing. they're the ones who'll get it, they're the ones who'll stick around long after the haters have lost interest.

[vaspider]

I genuinely hope this isn’t too prying or intrusive, I am strictly asking out of curiosity but…. What…. Is going on with that 16 year old and why is it on a post about a house coat? Are you ok?

I'm fine.

That kid has been fixated on me since I said, basically, that the French Revolution killed a bunch of innocent people and isn't something to be emulated.

For the past 3 weeks, since I told her to leave me alone on Tumblr, she's been stalking me across the internet, digging up every possible way to contact me, and sending elaborate death threats along with suicide threats. I've turned off the contact forms on my professional website and NK. She's sent asks here and contacted me from multiple Tumblrs, multiple Facebook and Instagram accounts, TikTok, LinkedIn, Reddit, YouTube, BlueSky, and multiple email accounts. I'm pretty sure I'm missing something, though I do have it all screenshotted and saved. She found my phone number and left multiple threatening voicemails, and she kept contacting my business, sending death threats to places where my employees, including my younger brother, had to deal with them.

She seems to think that I'm a man, and that I'm attempting to use magic on her, and that she can threaten me into doing whatever it is she wants. I don't really understand what's going on in her head, and I'm not trying to do so. I don't really read the things she writes.

At this point, the FBI is involved - she's been sending death threats pretty much every day for about a month now with a few breaks here and there - and I've been declining to respond to her for the vast majority of that time, hoping that she'd get bored, or, hopefully, that someone who cares about her would realize how deeply, deeply unwell she is and get her help before this becomes a criminal matter. I really, really don't want to be put in that position, but I also can't ask the people who work for me (some of whom are my family) to deal with a constant barrage of messages detailing how if I don't publicly apologize for ... fuck all if I know or care... she's going to "slit [my] throat like a Sicilian" and throw my body in the Willamette River.

I really, really, really just want this kid to leave me alone. I didn't seek her out - she sought me out - and I'm not interested in talking to or debating with a 16 year old. But, also, the things that she's been doing for the past month are crimes and truly beyond the pale.

As to why that's on a video about a housecoat... your guess is as good as mine. Her last comments before this were on the two public videos on my abandoned YouTube account, both of which were process videos about making patches, and she left death threats on a post on my old personal Instagram that I made on the day of the Tree of Life shooting. It has nothing to do with me or what I'm saying - she seems to just randomly pick things to add her bizarre urban fantasy VASpider fanfic to.

Please leave that person alone, everybody. She is a third my age and very clearly deeply unwell. I'd been ignoring her, but I'm kind of hoping against hope that knowing that, yeah, actually, what she's doing is a crime, people take that seriously, and I really really really don't want her to fuck up her life? will convince her to stop.

I'm not afraid. I'm mostly just tired and very, very sad. It is really upsetting to see someone who is so out of alignment with consensus reality, and it's even more upsetting when that person is so young. I feel deeply sorry for her, both that she's unwell in a way that's clearly causing her harm, and that she doesn't seem to be getting the help she needs from the people around her. I hope it's just that the people around her don't realize what's going on and that someone can make them aware, because it is just... rotten... to see someone that young making such a mess of things.

I don't want to talk about this further. I've been avoiding talking about it publicly at all, but at the point where we're closing on a month... I dunno. I hope saying something directly and making it clear this isn't going to go the way she thinks gets it through to her.

I'm gonna go play with my dog.

[nightlyrayne]

TW: Lying, Manipulation, Cheating, Gabe Hicks

I have spent the last few days debating on whether or not I should speak up about my own past relationship and experience the TTRPG Gabe Hicks otherwise known by his handle as GabeJamesGames. I've decided to do so, in hopes that I may reach anyone that dated him and believed the were exclusive be given the same chance to know the truth as I have been given.

I'm going to cut this as short as I possibly can, mostly because everything is still very much scrambled in my head and trying to go through our past conversations has already been incredibly painful and difficult. I'm also sorry if this is a bit of a mess, or doesn't make sense anywhere. I tried to go back through our messages to be as accurate as possible, as I know I have a poor memory and an even worse sense of time.

Gabe and I started talking around late July of 2020 after I made a TikTok duetting him in his Matt from Dream Daddy cosplay. Things quickly become very flirtatious and suggestive between us. It did not take very long after that, somewhere between August and September we decided to be exclusive without labeling. I had firmly believed us to only be talking romantically and sexually with each other and expressed interest in becoming "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend when we met each other in person. Gabe agreed to this. Expressing he only had an interest in me and was more than happy to be exclusive.

In mid October I flew from Arizona back to my home state of Pennsylvania to meet him in person. He rented an Airbnb, though I did visit his home to meet his mom, one of his sisters, and his dog Leo. At one point during my stay, I was present for a live stream by his side as we carved pumpkins. I received no introduction when the stream began. Not my name, who I was, or what I was to him. I was simply there. And as a shy person who also has social anxiety, I said nothing because I was too nervous and didn't want to make things awkward. Though it felt awkward nonetheless. And immediately after the stream ended, he himself brought up the fact that he forgot to mention me. In the moment my only thought was "Well, at least he realized". And let it drop because I didn't want to have a fight.

Going home was extremely rough for me. I am the type of person that when I fall, I fall hard. I become very attached. And leaving was heartbreaking. The only thing that has helped was that he'd given me one of his shirts and had spoken about the possibility of moving in together down the road.

After that, things remained steady for a few more months. Though the issue of him wanting to remain completely private bothered me greatly. I brought up the fact multiple times, already apologizing while bringing it up because I felt like I was being too needy. In a way, I suppose I was gaslight myself, which made it all the easier for him. Especially when all I had ever asked was for him to put he was in a relationship on his social medias to help ease my anxiety. I expressed that my confidence in relationships came from having a partner who at least expressed that they were in a relationship. I didn't ask for my name nor my social media to be given. Though a part of me had definitely wanted that has well. I asked him for a compromise of just having "Taken" or "In a relationship" on his social medias. But every time I brought it up, he would claim he was already compromising by letting me meet his family and having his friends know about me. (Though whether his friends actually knew about me is unknown, as I don't remember having met or spoken to anyone of them.) At one point he even told me he had a stalker in the Netherlands and was worried about possibly upsetting her and having her come after him or I.

Things got harder after he got his new apartment February. Messages got less and less. By March hadn't received any 'I loves you's or 'I miss you's since January. I was getting more anxious about his growing number of followers and flirtatious behavior online, so I was being up being slightly public more and more. Around late May, early June, I could tell he just was no longer interested. He wasn't pointing in any effort. And while I had desperately wanted to make it work, I could tell he did not want to make it work. So I suggested stepping down from being romantic to just being friends. We never spoke after that, but we remained mutuals on TikTok and I would occasionally see him liking me stuff. Which, unfortunately, gave me more hope that I still want something to him than I would have liked.

I believed he had truly cared about me at some point during our relationship. But on Wednesday, my friend sent me a reddit post about him. I spent the whole day going through everything I could remember and wondering if he had been cheating on me as well. I posted my timeline of dating him on the Reddit post and was unfortunately informed that my timeline over lapped with TWO other people. One of them being the person he had claimed to me was a stalker.

I tell my story, though I was clueless until now, in hopes that anyone else who was hurt knowingly or unknowingly will find my story. That if they didn't know what kind of person Gabe was, they do now. And if they had already found out and haven't been in contact with any of his other exes, please know you are not alone. Please, please, please feel free to message me. And I am so sorry for the pain he has caused you, myself, and who knows how many others.