#I'm worthless

[i-am-trans-gwender]

I don't even have the energy to disguise this as a joke. Sorry for the vent post.

I really hate my past self. I don't like the version of me from pre two weeks ago. I was a horrible person. No matter how much I apologize and mentally torture myself I can't undo who past me was.

I have become everything I use to hate which makes me hate younger me even more.

I dont like any version of me but I especially hate who I was from the late 2010's to the early 2020's. Filled with self loathing that lead to me lashing at other people.

I have hurt so many people out of ignorance. Multiple friends of mine have left me because I'm annoying, i have trouble understanding others emotions, i have trouble communicating my feelings, I have trouble learning from past mistakes and no matter how hard I try I screw everything up.

I can't handle the bad things that happen to me but I also can't handle the good things that happen because i feel I don't deserve it. Everybody else has accomplished so much more than me.

I'm afraid of showing genuine emotion. I feel like I have to disguise all my cries for help as jokes or bury my feelings under a billion layers of irony.

[a-broken-worthless-monster]

I'm worthless and useless to important people...

Just a needy bothersome, ugly mess..

[xinheartswakeex]

I just push everyone away.. I should've died a long time ago.

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

.

[uglytrannymess]

I'm such a terrible awful ugly disgusting person and this world is better without me in it, I'll always be a fucking monster.

[king--koopa]

I saw a couple things today talking about knowing your worth.... I definitely do agree with it but they never talk about how some of us just aren't worth much. Some of us don't bring any value. Some of us don't have anything good to offer. I realized this years ago. My worth is way low. Too low for anyone else to want. Not wanted anywhere.

[no-1canfindme]

I don't think I can be selfless anymore

I think I need to die

[sovaghoul]

.

[fuckyeahstufficareabout]

What I want in life is so far off from what I'll ever have and I want to fucking die

[a-broken-worthless-monster]

I wish I was better. Just... better...

If I was, I could do more and be more useful to people...

I could be better for others too and be able to give more. Instead I'm quite useless but there's nothing to gain from saying that, though I desperately need to because the thoughts are constantly stuck and I'm rarely, if ever much good for people who are important.

I often feel like I'm just not good for others on a fundamental level, I can't even take basic care or do basic things and it sucks... that's before I'm often too much or too little.

Anxiety peaking with a meeting I'll have take because of my own failure to do anything...

I'm just a rotting waste of life.

I hate being an ugly, useless, horrible monster...

[stanleypollable]

we arent going to laugh, at least, everyone here that matters isnt. we care about you. im sorry that we couldn't overpower the soot-eaters, but once we lose hope, theres nothing left. dont give up, please :(? for me? -🥚

YEAH! we're not haters, we love you! we don't know what the story would be without you! you're important!

[sadsuddensuicide]

Never felt my soul so heavy

My heart was melting

Now drives so crazy

[uglytrannymess]

I wish ppl love black trans girls and women, I feel like no one loves me and I'm just an ugly abomination 😢😢

trans boys of color I love you all so much. You’re not a freak or an aggressive monster or a mistake. I’m so sorry you have to deal with so much bullshit from people in your communities but you’re perfect and whole and you’re gonna be just fine.

[chaosaielouros]

Aren't we meant to have one good feature.

Smart or pretty or healthy or wealthy or funny or talented in some way.

Why do I have no good features.

How have I failed so hard at life.

[uglytrannymess]

No one has ever checked on me when I disappeared. No one has ever given af if i disappeared or wasn't here or even noticed I was gone, no one thinks I'm beautiful inside or out, so why should my existence here matter at all why be surrounded by humans when humans just show me everyday how ugly we are anyway, why be here to make everything worse for everyone by being a burden when it never mattered anyway.

[mylittleredgirl]

my new thing whenever an embarrassing memory jumps up out of some backwater neuron to t-bone my present-day thought process is to declare a statute of limitations. like i can burn down an entire building in the state where i live and the law deems it both unfair and illegal to prosecute me after six years have passed, i think that thing i said in high school can be expunged from my record.