#I'm working on it it's just a consistent and known problem with the way my brain works

[sonotdaiisy]

MAKE UP OR MAKE OUT? ⸺ Minji x reader

Minji and y/n had never gotten along, but what happens when they are paired up for a project forcing them to get along and interact and maybe even kiss…..?

GENRE ⸺ fluff, enemies to lovers

WARNINGS ⸺ fluff, jealousy and mention of being possessive, kissing (def), a post after 2months (to prove that I��m alive), requested

WC ⸺ 4.5k

You and Minji stood facing each other, your eyes locked in a tense stare. You were both students in the same photography class, and you'd been assigned to work on a project together.

The problem was, you and Minji couldn't stand each other. You thought she was arrogant and entitled, while she thought you were lazy and uncreative. The tension between you was palpable, and you could feel the air thickening with hostility.

"What's the project about?" Minji asked curtly, her voice dripping with disdain.

"It's a photography portfolio," you replied, trying to keep your tone neutral. "We need to take a series of photos that showcase our skills and creativity."

Minji snorted. "I don't need to showcase my skills. My photos are already amazing."

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

Minji's eyes flashed with anger, but she bit back a retort. "Fine. Let's start brainstorming."

You and Minji sat down at a small café, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city. You'd decided to meet up and discuss your project, hoping to come up with a cohesive plan.

But as you started brainstorming, it became clear that you and Minji had fundamentally different artistic visions. You wanted to create a portfolio that was edgy and avant-garde, while Minji was pushing for something more traditional and commercial.

"I don't understand why you're being so stubborn," Minji said, her voice rising in frustration. "My idea is clearly better."

"I'm not being stubborn," you replied, trying to keep your cool. "I just think that your idea is boring and unoriginal."

Minji's eyes flashed with anger. "My idea is not boring," she said, her voice icy. "It's just more refined and sophisticated than your silly, artsy concept."

You felt a surge of annoyance, but you tried to take a deep breath and calm down. "Look, can we just try to find some common ground?" you asked, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Minji raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's possible," she said, her voice dripping with skepticism. "But I'm willing to try."

You nodded, feeling a sense of determination. "Okay, let's do it. Let's find a way to make this project work."

As you sat there, sipping your coffee and staring at Minji, you couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for her. She was stubborn and infuriating, but she was also passionate and driven.

And as you looked into her eyes, you saw something there that gave you pause. A spark of creativity, a glimmer of inspiration.

Maybe, just maybe, you and Minji could create something amazing together.

As you and Minji continued to work on your project, you started to feel a sense of camaraderie with your partner. Despite your initial differences, you'd found a way to work together, and your project was starting to take shape.

But just as things were going smoothly, a new challenge emerged. A rival photography duo, consisting of two students from a neighboring school, had entered the competition. They were known for their cutting-edge style and their ability to push the boundaries of photography.

The rival duo, consisting of a boy named Taeoh and a girl named Jiwon, was confident and charismatic. They exuded an air of superiority, and it was clear that they were determined to win.

Minji's eyes narrowed as she watched Taeoh and Jiwon set up their equipment. "We can't let them win," she said, her voice low and determined.

You nodded in agreement. "I know. We need to step up our game."

Minji turned to you, a fierce glint in her eye. "Let's do it. Let's show them what we're capable of."

You grinned, feeling a surge of adrenaline. "Game on."

Together, you and Minji threw yourself into your project, determined to outdo Taeoh and Jiwon. You spent long hours brainstorming, shooting, and editing, pushing yourselves to the limit.

As the competition heated up, the tension between you and Minji began to dissipate. You started to see each other in a new light, as partners and allies rather than rivals.

One day, as you were working on a particularly tricky shot, Minji turned to you and smiled. "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to enjoy working with you."

You grinned back at her, feeling a sense of warmth and connection. "I know exactly what you mean," you said. "I'm starting to think that we make a pretty good team."

Minji's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Maybe we do."

As you continued to work together, you started to realize that your feelings for Minji went beyond mere partnership. You were starting to develop feelings for her, feelings that you couldn't quite explain.

But as you looked into Minji's eyes, you saw something there that gave you hope. A spark of attraction, a glimmer of interest.

Maybe, just maybe, Minji felt the same way.

As the warm evening sunset cast its golden glow over the classroom, you and Minji worked together to capture the perfect shot. Minji had set up the camera and tripod, carefully adjusting the settings to ensure that the photo would be nothing short of breathtaking.

You, on the other hand, stood behind the camera, your eyes fixed on the viewfinder as you waited for the perfect moment to take the picture. The sunset was a kaleidoscope of colors, a swirling mix of oranges, pinks, and purples that seemed to dance across the sky.

Minji stood beside you, her eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before you. But as she gazed at the sunset, her attention began to wander. She found herself noticing the way the fading light seemed to bring out the colors in your eyes.

Your eyes, Minji thought to herself, were truly captivating. They sparkled like diamonds in the sunset, shining with a warm, golden light that seemed to draw her in. Minji felt a flutter in her chest, a sudden jolt of awareness that caught her off guard.

Is she attracted to you? Minji wondered, the thought slipping into her mind like a whispered secret. She felt a surge of surprise, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

But Minji quickly shrugged off the feeling, telling herself she was being ridiculous. She was focused on the project, not on developing feelings for her partner. Besides, she'd always thought of you as just a classmate, someone she tolerated rather than admired.

So Minji pushed aside her doubts and focused on the task at hand. She watched as you expertly framed the shot, your fingers moving deftly over the camera controls. You took a deep breath, your eyes locked on the viewfinder, and then you pressed the shutter button.

The camera clicked, capturing the perfect moment. The sunset was frozen in time, its colors vibrant and alive. Minji felt a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you'd taken a truly stunning photo.

As you reviewed the shot on the camera's LCD screen, Minji couldn't help but steal glances at you. She noticed the way your hair curled slightly at the nape of your neck, the way your eyes crinkled at the corners as you smiled.

Minji felt that flutter in her chest again, the same sensation she'd experienced just moments before. She tried to brush it off, telling herself she was just being silly.

But as she looked at you, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more between you, something that went beyond mere partnership or friendship. Minji felt a sense of wonder, a sense of possibility that she couldn't ignore.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the classroom in a warm, golden light, Minji realized that she was seeing you in a whole new way. She was starting to notice the little things about you, the things that made you unique and special.

And as she stood there, watching you review the photos on the camera, Minji felt a sense of excitement, a sense of anticipation. She wondered what would happen next, wondered if she'd ever find the courage to explore these newfound feelings.

As the days went by, you and Minji continued to work on your project, pouring your hearts and souls into every detail. You'd grown closer, your mutual respect and admiration for each other's skills and talents blossoming into a strong partnership.

One evening, as you were reviewing your photos, Minji turned to you with a thoughtful expression. "Hey, can I ask you something?" she said, her voice soft and introspective.

"Of course," you replied, curious about what was on her mind.

Minji hesitated, her eyes searching yours as if seeking permission to share her thoughts. "I was just wondering...what do you think about me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You felt a surge of surprise, unsure of how to respond. But as you looked into Minji's eyes, you saw something there that gave you pause. A deep vulnerability, a sense of uncertainty that touched your heart.

"I think you're an amazing person, Minji," you said, your voice sincere. "You're talented, driven, and passionate about your work. And...I think I'm really starting to enjoy your company."

Minji's face lit up with a radiant smile, and you felt your heart skip a beat. "I'm glad to hear that," she said, her voice filled with warmth. "I have to admit, I'm really starting to like you too."

As you smiled back at Minji, you felt a sense of connection that went beyond mere partnership. It was as if you'd crossed a threshold, entering a new realm of understanding and mutual respect.

Just then, Taeoh and Jiwon, the rival photography duo, walked into the room, their eyes scanning the space with a mixture of curiosity and competitiveness. Minji's eyes narrowed, her expression tightening with a hint of animosity.

But you just smiled, feeling a sense of confidence and camaraderie with Minji. "Hey, guys," you said, waving at Taeoh and Jiwon. "What brings you here?"

Taeoh smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. "We just wanted to see how the competition is doing," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "And I have to say, we're not impressed."

Minji's eyes flashed with anger, but you just chuckled, feeling a sense of amusement at Taeoh's antics. "Well, we're not trying to impress you," you said, smiling at Minji. "We're just trying to create something amazing."

Taeoh snorted, but Jiwon just rolled her eyes, looking unimpressed. "Whatever," she said, turning to Taeoh. "Let's just focus on our own project."

As Taeoh and Jiwon walked away, Minji turned to you, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I think they're just jealous," she said, smiling.

You grinned back at her, feeling a sense of solidarity and shared purpose. "I think you're right," you said, nodding in agreement.

As you continued to work on your project, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation. You and Minji were creating something special, something that would showcase your skills and talents to the world.

And as you worked together, side by side, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and possibility. You were starting to realize that your partnership with Minji was more than just a collaboration – it was the start of something truly special.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden light over the room, you and Minji decided to take a break and grab some dinner. You walked to a nearby café, enjoying the cool evening air and the sound of birds chirping in the trees.

As you sat down at a small table, Minji turned to you, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "I have an idea," she said, a sly grin spreading across her face.

"What is it?" you asked, curious.

Minji leaned in, her voice barely above a whisper. "Let's sneak into the school's rooftop garden tonight and take some photos of the city skyline. It'll be perfect for our project."

You felt a surge of excitement, your heart racing with anticipation. "That sounds amazing," you said, grinning.

Minji smiled back at you, her eyes shining with excitement. "I knew you'd be up for it."

As you finished your dinner and made plans for your midnight adventure, you couldn't help but feel a sense of thrill and excitement. You and Minji were about to embark on a journey that would take you to new heights – literally.

And as you looked into Minji's eyes, you saw something there that gave you pause. A spark of attraction, a glimmer of possibility.

You wondered what the night would bring, and whether your feelings for Minji would continue to grow.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm orange glow over the school, you and Minji made your way to the rooftop garden. You'd been planning this sneak attack for days, and you were determined to get the perfect shot.

Minji led the way, her eyes scanning the hallway for any signs of teachers or security guards. You followed closely behind, your heart racing with excitement.

As you reached the stairwell, Minji turned to you and grinned. "Ready for this?" she whispered.

You nodded, your pulse pounding in your ears. "Let's do it."

Minji pushed open the door to the rooftop garden, and you slipped inside, finding yourselves in a tranquil oasis. The garden was filled with lush greenery and vibrant flowers, and the view of the city skyline was breathtaking.

Minji set up her camera, while you took in the sights and sounds of the garden. The air was filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the sound of birds chirping in the trees.

As Minji began to snap photos, you couldn't help but notice the way the fading light brought out the colors in her eyes. They sparkled like diamonds, shining with a warm, golden light that seemed to draw you in.

You felt a surge of attraction, your heart racing with excitement. But you pushed the feeling aside, focusing on the task at hand.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the garden in a warm, golden light, Minji turned to you and smiled. "This is perfect," she said, her eyes shining with excitement.

You nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment. You'd pulled off the perfect sneak attack, and you'd gotten some amazing photos to boot.

As you packed up your equipment and prepared to leave, Minji turned to you and grinned. "Thanks for tonight," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I had a blast."

You smiled back at her, feeling a sense of connection and camaraderie. "No problem," you said, your voice low and husky. "I had a great time too."

As you walked out of the garden, side by side, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and possibility. You'd shared a special moment, a moment that would stay with you forever.

And as you looked over at Minji, you saw something in her eyes that gave you pause. A spark of attraction, a glimmer of possibility.

As the days went by, you and Minji continued to work on your project, growing closer with each passing moment. You'd developed a strong partnership, anticipating each other's moves and working together seamlessly.

One day, as you were working on a particularly tricky shot, a girl from your class, Sooyoung, came over to chat with you. She was a friendly and outgoing person, always eager to strike up a conversation.

Minji, who was busy adjusting the lighting, couldn't help but notice the way Sooyoung was laughing and smiling at you. She felt a sudden pang of jealousy, a spark of emotion that caught her off guard.

At first, Minji tried to brush off the feeling, telling herself she was being ridiculous. But as she watched Sooyoung and you chat, she couldn't help but feel a growing sense of unease.

Why was Sooyoung flirting with you? Minji wondered, her mind racing with questions. And why did it bother her so much?

As Sooyoung walked away, Minji felt a sense of relief wash over her. But the feeling of jealousy lingered, refusing to be ignored.

Minji tried to focus on the project, but her mind kept wandering back to the conversation between you and Sooyoung. She couldn't help but wonder if you were interested in Sooyoung, if you were attracted to her outgoing personality and bright smile.

The thought sent a pang of discomfort through Minji's chest. She didn't like the idea of you being with someone else, didn't like the thought of you smiling and laughing with another girl.

As the day drew to a close, Minji realized that she had to confront her feelings. She couldn't keep ignoring the spark of jealousy that had ignited within her.

But what did it mean? Minji wondered, her mind racing with questions. Was she really attracted to you, or was she just feeling possessive?

As she packed up her equipment and headed home, Minji couldn't shake the feeling that her emotions were more complicated than she'd initially thought.

The day of the competition finally arrived, and you and Minji were more than ready. You'd spent countless hours perfecting your project, and you were confident that you had a winning entry.

As you set up your display, Minji couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and admiration for you. You'd taken charge of the project, leading the way with your creative vision and technical expertise. And now, as you stood confidently in front of your display, Minji couldn't help but feel a sense of awe.

The judges began their rounds, and you launched into your speech and presentation. Minji watched, mesmerized, as you effortlessly explained the concept and inspiration behind your project. You spoke with passion and conviction, your words painting a vivid picture in the minds of the judges.

Minji couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and ownership as she listened to you speak. She'd played a crucial role in the project, of course, but you'd taken the lead, and your vision and creativity had brought the whole thing together.

As the judges asked questions, Minji stepped forward, providing clear and concise explanations that complemented your own words perfectly. You worked together seamlessly, like two parts of a well-oiled machine.

The judges nodded, impressed, as you and Minji fielded their questions with ease. You could tell that you'd made a strong impression, and Minji's confidence grew with every passing moment.

Finally, the judges announced the winner, and you and Minji held your breath as they revealed the results. And then, you heard the words you'd been longing to hear: "And the first-place winner is... Minji and Y/N!"

You and Minji erupted into cheers, hugging each other tightly as the audience applauded wildly. You'd done it – you'd won the competition!

As you accepted your prize, a trophy and a certificate, you couldn't help but glance over at Jiwon and Taeoh, your rivals. They looked stunned, their faces pale with disappointment.

Minji, on the other hand, was beaming with pride. She grinned at you, her eyes shining with happiness, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and fulfillment.

You'd worked together, side by side, to create something truly special. And now, you'd been rewarded for your hard work and dedication.

As you walked offstage, trophy in hand, Minji turned to you and whispered, "We make a pretty good team, don't we?"

You smiled, feeling a sense of camaraderie and connection. "We definitely do," you replied, your voice low and husky.

Minji's eyes sparkled with amusement, and you couldn't help but wonder what the future held for the two of you. Would you continue to work together, creating new and exciting projects? Or would you take your talents in different directions, pursuing solo endeavors?

Whatever the future held, one thing was certain: you and Minji had created something truly special, something that would stay with you forever.

As you walked offstage, basking in the glory of your win, Minji turned to you with a mischievous grin. "Hey, want to celebrate this weekend?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What did you have in mind?" you asked, playing along.

Minji's grin faltered for a moment, and she looked away, her cheeks flushing with a delicate pink. "I was thinking we could grab some ice cream or something," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

You teased her, trying to get a rise out of her. "Oh, Minji, are you asking me out on a date?" you asked, your voice dripping with amusement.

Minji's face turned bright red, and she smacked you on the head, her eyes flashing with mock anger. "No, dummy!" she exclaimed, laughing. "I just wanted to celebrate our win, that's all."

You chuckled, rubbing your sore head. "Okay, okay, I get it," you said, grinning. "No date, just ice cream."

Minji rolled her eyes, still laughing. "That's right," she said, smiling. "Just ice cream."

The weekend rolled around, and you met up with Minji at the prescribed park. She stood up to get the ice cream, leaving you to wait for her on the park bench.

As you sat there, watching the people walk by, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement. You'd grown closer to Minji over the past few weeks, and you were starting to realize that your feelings for her went beyond mere friendship.

Minji returned with the ice cream, a big smile on her face. "I got your favorite flavor," she said, handing you a cone.

You took a lick, savoring the sweet, creamy taste. "Mmm, thanks," you said, grinning.

But as you were eating, disaster struck. Your spoon slipped from your fingers, falling to the ground with a clatter.

You pouted, feeling a pang of disappointment. "Aww, man," you said, sighing.

Minji laughed, finding your reaction adorable. "It's okay, I'll share mine with you," she said, holding out her spoon.

You smiled, feeling a sense of gratitude towards her. "Thanks," you said, taking a bite of her ice cream.

As you ate, you couldn't help but notice the way Minji's eyes sparkled in the sunlight. She was so beautiful, so full of life and energy.

At one point, you opened your mouth, expecting Minji to feed you. She looked at you, surprised, but then she smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

She fed you a bite of ice cream, her spoon touching your lips. You felt a shiver run down your spine, a spark of electricity that seemed to jump between you.

Minji's eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, you just stared at each other, the world around you melting away.

It was a moment of pure intimacy, a moment that seemed to speak volumes about your feelings for each other.

As you pulled away, Minji's spoon still touching your lips, you couldn't help but wonder what it meant. Were you and Minji something more than just friends?

The question hung in the air, unanswered, as you continued to eat your ice cream, the tension between you palpable.

But for now, you just savored the moment, enjoying the sweet, creamy taste of the ice cream, and the warm, fuzzy feeling that seemed to be growing between you and Minji.

As you finished the ice cream, Minji looked at you for a while, her eyes searching yours as if seeking something. You, on the other hand, were oblivious to her gaze, too busy admiring the view in the park.

The sun was shining, casting a warm glow over the lush green grass and vibrant flowers. Children were laughing and playing, their joyful shouts and giggles filling the air. It was a peaceful, serene atmosphere, one that made you feel grateful to be alive.

But Minji's gaze was not to be ignored. She looked at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat, her eyes burning with a passion and sincerity that took your breath away.

You turned to her, sensing that something was amiss. And that's when you saw it - the look of determination, of vulnerability, of hope.

Minji took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with the effort. And then, in a voice that was barely above a whisper, she spoke the words that would change everything.

"I have something to tell you," she said, her eyes locked onto yours. "Something important."

You felt a surge of curiosity, your heart racing with anticipation. "What is it?" you asked, your voice low and husky.

Minji's eyes searched yours, as if seeking reassurance. And then, in a voice that was trembling with emotion, she spoke the words that would capture your heart forever.

"I think I might be falling in love with you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

You felt like you'd been punched in the gut, your breath knocked out of you. But it wasn't a painful feeling - it was exhilarating, liberating.

You looked at Minji, your eyes locking onto hers. And then, with a smile that came from the heart, you spoke the words that would seal your fate forever.

"I'm already there," you said, your voice filled with emotion.

Minji's face lit up with joy, her eyes shining with tears. "Really?" she asked, her voice trembling with hope.

You nodded, your heart overflowing with love. "Really," you said, your voice filled with conviction.

And then, in a moment that was both tender and passionate, Minji leaned in and kissed you. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a kiss that sealed your love forever.

As you kissed, the world around you melted away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the magic of the moment. It was a kiss that was both sweet and passionate, a kiss that left you breathless and wanting more.

And when you finally pulled away, gasping for air, Minji smiled up at you, her eyes shining with love.

"Does that mean you're my girlfriend now?" you asked, your voice filled with excitement.

Minji laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Yes, of course, silly," she said, her voice filled with love.

And with that, you sealed your fate forever, your love growing stronger with every passing moment.

[junipers-archive]

i just read your recent Spencer Reid fic and ugh, I’m absolutely in love with your writing, do you think you could write something about him having a crush on the pilot who flies the BAU jet?

OMG sorry this is so late and it took me so long to get to this request but i hope i did it justice!! {this needs to become a consistent au on my blog!}

word count: 500

"Sorry for the delay! The maintenance engineers are just making sure the plane will be completely compliant with the controls." You're smiling brightly as you enter the cabin of the plane where sits the team you've just recently started flying for.

"I-Its really no problem! If you'd like I could help- I-I have a phd in engineering and I could-" Spencer, who you've only known for about two months now stops abruptly. Much to your dismay because the way the ends of his eyes crinkled and grin spread had butterflies swarming in your stomach.

Looking around you see why, Morgan is just barley containing his smile behind his fist, whilst Hotch has seen to busying himself with the files.

"Uh-Actually sure that would be great Dr.Reid!" You're trying to break the awkwardness but the way he gets up and trips over part of the carpet has you struggling to contain a giggle.

And he is just... starstruck everytime he see's you. Always so taken by how beautiful you look, especially in your pilots uniform.

Once you're outside once more you take the alone time as a chance to finally get to know the young doctor.

"So-uh with all the phds, I'd guess you were a professor of some kind?"

"Uh-yea-yea-well not really" he was trying his best to keep his cool but the flush that continued to return to his cheeks eveytime he was in your presence seemed persistent.

"I-I was scouted after completing my last one by the BAU and put to work with several other high functioning fbi workers-of course I skipped the well to do training in combat because-"

He stopped abruptly, which made you immediately frown. "What's wrong?"

He glances at you surprised, "Sorry, its just I tend to ramble-and it makes people uncomftorable and- and- I'm doing again aren't I?"

You stop and turn to him in a very serious manner that has him standing straighter, "You are not a burden. Do not apologize for having a brain that functions twice as fast as others. Ever."

And if he wasn't in love with you before, he definitely is now. But before he gets to quite literally confess said love or at least ask you on a date the maintenance engineers are hollering for your attention.

With a quick smile you turn to leave, but before you turn completely you see the unsettled dissapointment you're about to leave the young doctor with and decide to be a little more forward that you usually are. Stepping towards his quite fast, you give him a peck on the cheek and walk off with a grin spread wide across your face.

And Spencer, well he doesn't care that Morgan and Rossi just saw the interaction, or that he'll be teased for possibly the next years to come for the dumbfounded expression across his face at the moment because you kissed him. On the cheek maybe. But still. It counts, right?

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 4

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10)

Hiii, I'm back at it again <3

I'm not gonna write a proper introduction this time around. You know the drill. Enjoy!

(And if you're new here, feel free to check out my posts on the other episodes linked above first.)

Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. Just like in ep3, I won't do that in ep4 either because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.

To recap: Last time we saw Style, he had just been left lying on the cold hard ground with a punch to the gut after having hooked up with Fadel in a random storage room. Just like at the end of ep2, at the end of ep3 they did not part on the best of terms either.

No. 1: Blissful Dreams

Even though the hook-up ended rather painfully for Style, and even though the hook-up itself may not have been quite what Style dreamed of, it's still left quite a mark on him. So much so, that he even dreams about it that night. So much so, that this dream even affects him in real life the next morning.

"Crap," Style swears. This wasn't the plan. Style may have a bit of a problem now. And over the course of this episode we'll find out just how much of a problem Style actually has now, because the dream hasn't only affected him physically, but the reality that inspired the dream has also affected him emotionally.

No. 2: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The majority of the interactions Style has had with Fadel so far have ended with Fadel either forcing Style to leave (even to the point of physically dragging him away) or with Fadel abandoning Style. Even if from Style's perspective it may not seem like his actions have much of a positive effect on Fadel, I think deep down he does sense that he's managing to worm his way into Fadel's life after all. In any case, Style is not giving up no matter how many times Fadel will ditch him. However, since none of the strategies he's tried so far have seemed to really bear fruit, he now changes course again: disappear for a bit, so that he'll miss you. This strategy works exceptionally well, but Style won't know about it until about two thirds into the episode.

No. 3: Blue-Balled

Despite his resolution to stay away from Fadel to make him miss him, Style fails to hold out for long and is back rather sooner than later. As @secriden points out, Style "comes running to Fadel the second he hears about Fadel asking about him" (quoted from @secriden). Style even explicitly says that he hadn't planned on stopping by, but then "some auntie told me someone asked about me". Style has tried out a new strategy that he hasn't gone with before, learned that it actually did have some sort of affect on Fadel, and immediately rushes to confirm this for himself. Within the first 30 seconds (20 seconds, to be exact!) of Style entering the kitchen he asks Fadel twice if Fadel has missed him. It's literally the second and the fifth sentence out of his mouth when he shows up. This is important info to Style, he needs to know if Fadel has missed him and he needs to know immediately. Style has already started to develop positive feelings towards Fadel over the course of episode 3 and their little storage room fling has influenced that development even more. Style needs to know if Fadel feels the same way. In fact, he downright assumes that Fadel feels the same way: it's in the way he is so satisfied and smug when he walks through the door. Style is very happy about this.

Fadel, however, shoots him down. Style's smile fades, but I don't think it's necessarily because he's hurt or disappointed or wasn't expecting this reaction. No, Fadel has reacted like this to about 90% of the things Style has said to him the entire time they've known each other. Style backs up a bit, but the way he looks at Fadel seems curious, like he's searching for something, like there is a question on his mind. Why does he STILL keep insisting like this, why does he STILL go for rejection when evidence points to the opposite?

Reminder: Last time the two of them saw each other, Style was way out of line and Fadel ended up punching him. Style was also quite upset that Fadel would sleep with him and immediately ditch him. In their last meeting, they didn't part on the best of terms.

So Fadel claims he didn't miss Style (despite evidence saying otherwise) and that Style annoys him because he messes up Fadel's routine and Style thinks about it for a moment, contemplates what Fadel's problem could be with him this time that could make him act like that and then comes to a conclusion as to what it might be:

He lets Fadel know that he's not angry at him for what happened the night before. When Style says "I was asking for it", I'm not entirely convinced he's referring to his unserious behavior at the group meeting. I'm not sure he's actually realized that his behavior was disrespectful. After all, he was "rewarded" with sex for it. Plus, the next thing he says is: "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are". I think this refers to their confrontation and verbal exchange right around Fadel punching Style. I already touched on Style not being scared of Fadel in my ep 3 meta:

Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. [...] When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he [...] is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. [...] It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Style was very fearless the night before, which is why I think when Style says "I was asking for it" he's referring specifically to how Fadel was threatening him and how Style put up a fight in response. He "was asking for it", because he didn't move out of Fadel's way despite Fadel making it very clear what the consequences of Style's stubbornness would be. Fadel got scary in their last meeting, and now Style tells him "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked". While in episode 3 the "I'm not scared of you" was implicit in his actions, Style now tells him explicitly in words.

If you've read my episode 3 meta, you'll know that a running theme throughout the entire post ended up being the question of whether Style really meant all the things he said (esp the flirty things) or if it was all just empty words. Here in the kitchen? Style means every single word, every flirty sentence that he utters. In episode 3, when he bugs Fadel at the running track or when he tells Fadel that he likes and wants him right before they hook up at the end of the episode, there is such an air of loudness to his demeanor. In contrast, when Style tells Fadel "I'm hooked" and asks him what he has to do to win him over, there is much more tranquility to it. Even his voice is calmer, there is no trace of his usual dramatic flair. Style is much more grounded here compared to some of his flirting (attempts) in previous episodes.

Style is being serious when he says "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked", he really means it. But Fadel only looks at him for a moment, squints his eyes briefly, and wordlessly directs his focus back on his herbs, signaling to Style Yeah sure whatever, I don't care, you're a burden and an inconvenience to me. This is yet another very predictable reaction and Style isn't surprised by it, but he's definitely a little annoyed now that he's still not getting through to Fadel, that Fadel still won't admit that he does want Style around and has started taking a liking to him. So Style leans closer to Fadel again and asks what it will take for Style to win him over. Again, Style is being serious about it, his usual over the top flair is missing. He isn't doing this for show, he's not playing anything up because someone else asked him to or because he'll gain something out of it. Style is asking because he genuinely wants to know for no one but himself. Style genuinely cares now.

But Fadel tells Style to fuck off. Not literally, of course (his actual words are "Get out of my face"), but "fuck off" is certainly the subtext of it. And that subtext reaches Style clear as day. Instead of following Fadel's order, he's gonna be a little shit about it now.

"Fuck", you say? Gladly. Malicious compliance with the subtext. Style walks around the table. "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge."

Again, this time around I do think Style means all the flirty shit that he says. It's in the way his tone is much more calm and quiet and how everything he says is much more deliberate, much more calculated. It's a similar vibe to that time in the gym when he told Fadel to call him any time if he needed a spotter, which, if you've read my first meta post of this series, is a scene you'll know I've determined to be the first time Style genuinely flirts with Fadel for the purpose of flirting and not for any other motivations such as revenge. And now here in the kitchen he's also flirting for the purpose of flirting again. His words aren't just empty words.

Another way we can tell that Style genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants right there and then is by the way he gets handsy. In episode 3 he doesn't really touch Fadel when he spouts all the sexual innuendos at him at the running track. The only time Style touches him in that scene is when he squeezes Fadel's man boob in order to emphasize the word "heart". Or in the storage room, even though he claims to want Fadel, Style doesn't touch Fadel either during that entire conversation before they get it going. In fact, the only time he touches Fadel before Fadel starts kissing him is to remove Fadel's hand from him. In contrast, the sauna scene in episode 2 showed us that when Style actually, genuinely wants to sleep with Fadel, he'll start touching Fadel in suggestive places, will even go as far as shamelessly stick his hands down Fadel's pants (or, uh, towel in that case). And even though he didn't exactly get handsy with Fadel at the work-out bench, despite my claims of this interaction being the very first time he genuinely flirts with Fadel, well... Style may have not been handsy, but he sure got kneely:

In the kitchen in episode 4 every flirty thing Style says is an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants again (Oh, how very much the storage room fling has left its mark on Style!). Style genuinely wants this, genuinely wants him. Every single one of Style's actions underlines that as well. And then Fadel actually maneuvers him onto the kitchen table. Style is elated.

At this point I want to once again take a little detour to @clemelntine's meta on each of the boys' sexual fantasies of one other and what that means for the storage room hook-up. If you remember, she writes:

No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.

Not only do we see this play out in the storage room in the way Style gladly gives Fadel full control over his body, but we see this pattern continue in the kitchen. Style is very proactive in showing just how much he wants to get into Fadel's pants but the moment Fadel seemingly folds and goes along with it, Style lets Fadel put him on the kitchen table with no resistance whatsoever and eagerly awaits whatever Fadel has in store for him this time, letting Fadel have full control over the situation and his body again.

Whenever Fadel has blocked or rejected or ignored Style in this scene so far, it has not come as a surprise to Style a single time. This is what Fadel does. Style is used to it. It might annoy or disgruntle him at times, but overall he is used to it. But when Fadel drops "You won’t ever get what you want" and leaves him hanging? This time around it hits Style completely out of left field. Style was so caught up in his euphoria, that he didn't see this coming at all (unlike me, the audience, who was just sitting there going "ohh shit oh damn this is gonna be another fake-out" the moment Fadel grabbed Style's waist and turned him towards the table dfjkdf). After all, Fadel did sleep with him the night before, and so Style probably completely forgot that Fadel could dump him at any moment. In fact, he was probably confident that Fadel sleeping with him the night before and now asking about him at the market when Style failed to show up were signs that Fadel had started to develop feelings for him as well. And if Fadel has feelings for him now, then he would likely also want this, so why would Fadel ditch him? But Fadel does. Style is angry and he's hurt and he's disappointed, but Fadel's rejection hits him so much out of nowhere that I think he actually takes a while to process what has just happened and how to feel about it and how to react. Usually in situations like this, Style will put up a fight with Fadel until one of them wins, but this time around he is so stupefied that he immediately moves towards the door when Fadel shoves him towards it without firmly standing his ground and fighting Fadel about it first. Style does yell at Fadel that he won't let Fadel ditch him and when Fadel comes at him again, just for a short moment Style is about to stand his ground, but then Style shoves him away and leaves the kitchen angrily, instead of fighting him.

While I do think Style is hurt by Fadel's actions, I think anger and shock are his leading emotions here as he storms off. I think the hurt only really properly starts coming out and taking over once Style's shock has worn off and he's processed the situation.

No. 4: OnlyFans

The immediate shock of the situation has now worn off, Style has had a little time to process and now he's ready to fight again. There is still so much anger in Style, but now we can also see just how hurt he actually is. This is even more evident when we go back to episodes 1 and 2 where we've seen this whole thing play out before: Fadel humiliates Style in private and Style retaliates by humiliating Fadel in public. Fadel drags Style out of the diner by his feet in the privacy of the closed restaurant. Style yells at him in front of everyone at a busy market place in return. Fadel leaves Style hanging in the privacy of the diner kitchen whose only staff is Fadel himself. Style yells at him in front of every customer at the restaurant in return.

When Fadel drags Style out of the restaurant in episode 1, Style is of course angry and humiliated. And sure, it did hurt his pride, but it's mostly just that. Fadel, at this point, is mostly just some weird, grumpy dude to him that he has now been hired to hit on. Back then Style wasn't expecting that fake-out either, but it doesn't leave him as stunned as it did this time in the kitchen. In episode 1, he even tries to fight Fadel. He can't do much while he's being pulled along the floor, but as soon as Style is back on his feet he immediately starts raging at the door, pulling at the handles and banging at it. In the kitchen, Style is too stunned to put up a fight and actively runs away instead of fighting Fadel.

When Style yells at Fadel in the market place, while it comes from a place of revenge it's still something he does for show. His words are loud and dramatic and they're for everyone around them to hear more than they are for Fadel himself. It's all a public performance to Style. And the audience is everyone at the market. It's about making everyone see how "bad" of a guy Fadel is and it doesn't really matter whether Fadel is listening to his words or not as long as his words reach his true audience and they believe him. Style is clearly having fun yelling at Fadel while also using the chance to blow off some steam from his previous annoyances with Fadel. When Fadel yields, Style immediately lets it go and chills again.

When Style yells at Fadel at the diner, he's once again causing a scene in public, but this time his words are for Fadel to hear, not for the strangers around them. The fact that there's strangers around them is just a welcome bonus and I think in that moment Style doesn't even really care if any of them are actually listening in or not, as long as his words reach Fadel. Style's voice is sharp as a knife, sharper than we've ever heard it before, and every sentence he utters is a stab at Fadel. When Fadel hands him the apron and tells him to leave, Style agrees, but he speaks out a warning first ("But just keep in mind: Nobody gets to nail and bail me."). His fighting spirit has come back, and when Fadel launches a counterattack ("I’ll be the first"), Style does not back down this time around like he did earlier in the kitchen. It's Fadel who walks away this time and Style reminds him that he'll continue to fight him ("A guy like Style won’t back down"). It's only when he walks out of the restaurant that he turns his argument with Fadel into an actual public performance. It's only when he invites everyone at the restaurant to take pictures of him that his words are for show and for his audience to hear.

We've just watched a situation that we've seen before play out but this time around it's very different. Because this time around Fadel actually means something to Style. And this time around Style has already slept with Fadel, which also meant something to him. I'm not entirely sure Style has quite figured out what exactly it all means to him and I also don't think he's head over heels in love with Fadel yet, but he sure is starting to have many emotions. While Style was also enraged back in episode 1 after Fadel dragged him out of the diner, his anger has leveled up now because this time around, underneath all of that anger, Style is also very hurt. They were starting to make progress and Style even got to celebrate small victories along the way (Fadel making him a burger, Fadel actually sleeping with him, Fadel asking about his whereabouts). Style was starting to get somewhere with Fadel, was slowly starting to develop some feelings of his own for Fadel, and Fadel just goes and kicks down Style's sandcastle. What's more, Style has made it very clear to Fadel how he feels about getting nailed and bailed, and then Fadel just goes and does it on purpose.

Style is so angry and hurt that this time around just one public yelling isn't enough. This time he goes for a round 2.

No. 5: A Ruined Man

Style is back at the support group. This time it's not to find out more about Fadel's backstory, this time he is here because he has a message for Fadel. And this time Style's distress isn't cringe, because this time the situation is serious to him. He is seriously angry, and he is seriously hurt, and it's important to him that Fadel is fully aware of it, aware of what he's done to Style.

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

Oh, Style. I hope you don't end up eating your own words later when Fadel finds out why exactly you were hitting on him and trying to get him to fall for you in the first place.

No. 6: Are These Systoms of Being Pregarnt?

This time Fadel is so done with Style that he drags him away in front of everyone else instead of waiting until no one is around. And Style is finally able to have somewhat of a civil conversation with Fadel again. While he is still angry at Fadel since they still haven't cleared up their quarrel, he is no longer outright yelling at him or attacking Fadel with his words like he was at the diner or in the group meeting just now. The tone of his voice is softer and also his dramatic flair is back when he goes on and on about how he might as well be pregnant. And we also learn what exactly it is that Style wants from Fadel: "You slept with me, so take responsibility for it."

I've already talked at length about why I think Style isn't one for casual, no strings attached one-night stands in my ep3 meta, and Style's words here highlight this once again. The storage room sex mattered to Style. And I don't think it mattered to him because it was a step closer to fulfilling the mission he's been sent on and a step closer to getting the car of his dreams.

If you read my ep3 meta, you'll know that I mention a couple of times that Style is developing "positive feelings" for Fadel. Phrasing it like this rather than phrasing it as "romantic feelings" or "starting to like" was a very deliberate decision. Because I don't think Style was quite there yet in episode 3. He still had many other ulterior motivations and intentions going on, be it Kant's "hit on Fadel so I can get to Bison" mission that Style gets a car out of or Style being nosy about Fadel's lore. If you remember, at the beginning of this meta when Style woke up with a boner I said Style may have a bit of a problem now. The problem is his own feelings – this whole episode hasn't been about Kant's mission or the car anymore (or about Style finding out Fadel's backstory). Instead, this whole episode we've been exploring Style's real feelings, his own desires. Style has started to care when it comes to Fadel, has started to genuinely want him. Style is starting to genuinely like Fadel now. He even lets it slip during the support group meeting:

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

And yes, one could argue that he's been saying he likes Fadel ever since Kant set him on Fadel and that Style, in fact, has said he likes Fadel many, many times before, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. But I think this time it is in fact different. I think this time he means it. Because if it was just a lie, if those were just empty words, then Fadel dumping him in the kitchen wouldn't have hurt so much. And at this point, I think Style's hurt isn't only about being dumped in the kitchen but also about being ditched in the storage room. Style may have said he won't hold what happened back then against Fadel, but maybe deep down he does. Because the storage room sex mattered to him and at this point of the episode maybe it matters to him even more so than at the beginning of the episode or at the end of episode 3. Not to mentioned, he really doesn't like getting nailed and bailed. You slept with me, so take responsibility for it.

No. 7: I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You. Not Even a Little Bit. Not Even at All.

"You're not killing me or anything like that, right?" Style says as they're walking out of their last scene and Fadel promptly takes him out to the woods into an abandoned greenhouse. They still haven't cleared anything up between the two of them and Style is still kinda angry, which is why I think that when he says "Are we doing it outdoors? Your taste sure surprises me" he says it mostly to piss Fadel off, not because he wants to flirt or actually do it with him in that moment (oh but just you wait another few minutes 🤭🤭🤭).

Fadel once again just wordlessly walks away from Style. Instead of following him, Style stays back at the car, kinda annoyed. We don't know how long exactly Style was waiting, but either way, I think he does lowkey start to get freaked out a little. He wants to go home and starts looking for Fadel.

"I know you’re gonna kill me and hide my body in the woods." Oh Style, sweetie, no. Careful with your words. Apollo's ball of prophecy and all that. Right after that, we get yet another reference to Style not being scared of Fadel. When he enters the greenhouse, searching for Fadel while monologuing, he shouts:

But I ain't scared of you!

Fun fact, in Thai he actually phrases it as "You think I'm scared of you?":

มึงคิดว่ากูกลัวมึงหรอ [mueng - kít wâa - guu - gluua - mueng - rŏr] you - think that - I - scared (of) - you - [question word]

It is night-time, Style walks along dark aisles in search of Fadel who ran away from him and is currently nowhere to be seen, when suddenly, out of nowhere Fadel appears, shoves him into some furniture (ish) and angrily yells into his face: "Who sent you?" Oh, wait, wrong episode.

User @secriden wrote an excellent post detailing the parallels between the ep3 storage room scene and the ep4 forest scene, but I actually think that the beginning of the scene is much closer to a different scene that we saw in episode 2: the locker room scene. It's interesting because this is the third time this episode calls back to the first two episodes. It starts with the parallel of Fadel's fake-out, then we had the parallel of Style publicly humiliating Fadel, and now we have a call-back to the locker room scene, which will soon turn into a parallel of the storage room hook-up. The parallels do be paralleling this episode.

In the locker room, it was Style who dropped a "love confession": "I like you. I liked you the moment I crashed into you that night. It was love at first sight. So damn romantic. Straight out of a movie." But now in the greenhouse it's Fadel's turn. Fadel ambushes Style, shoves him against the bars and starts raging. Fadel has yelled at Style a lot over the past few episodes. He yells at Style to reprimand him, to shoot down his advances, or to tell him to piss off. When Fadel yells at Style, it's all about his feelings of disdain he has for Style. So when Fadel says "I don’t like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You’re disrupting it," Style sighs a little and braces himself for yet another fight against Fadel:

But then Fadel goes off-script. "I don’t like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market. I don’t like waiting to see if you’d show up at my restaurant or my go-to club. You— I don’t like you being in my life and changing it."

This is a new one. Style listens intently.

Fadel continues. "I don’t like feeling like this." Style has all his focus entirely on Fadel and his words now. He squeezes his eyes just the tiniest bit. And I think this is where Style starts to figure out the core of Fadel's problem.

"I don’t like it!", Fadel yells and Style looks at him with so much resolution and with so much understanding.

And then Fadel drops: "I don’t like that I miss you."

Fun fact about the word คิดถึง [kít-tĕung]: apart from "to miss", it can also have the meaning of "to think of, to think about". So another possible interpretation and underlying meaning of this line is "I don't like that I think about you."

Something vital that I want to bring up at this point now is something that @secriden has pointed out in her meta:

It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.

And get there, Fadel did. Fadel has just spilled that he thinks about Style, that he misses him. That Style's efforts have been worth it. That Fadel has started caring the way Style has started to care. Style looks at Fadel, takes it all in.

Style finally understands Fadel's problem, finally understands why Fadel has been acting the way he's been acting.

When Style kisses Fadel, there is so much purpose, so much intent to it. Style has something to say, something important, and every single thing on his mind, every single emotion, he puts it all into that kiss. And what he has to say is:

Yes. The caption in the gif is different from the official English subtitles. Because Style literally says:

มันโอเค​นะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]

And this is a distinction that is important to me personally. Phrasing it as "It's okay to be in love" is by far more specific than "It's okay to love" and I think this particular word choice hits Fadel harder as well. Fadel likes control, he likes knowing exactly what's going on at any given moment. But then Style shows up as a whirlwind in his life, bringing disorder to everything. Fadel is starting to develop feelings that he can't control and it freaks him out.

When Style kissed Fadel in the locker room it was an attack in the battle he was fighting against him. When Style kisses Fadel in the greenhouse, it's for reassurance. Style puts everything he wants to say with "It's okay to be in love" into that line. It's okay to let go. It's okay to let things take their natural course. It's okay to be in love. You're allowed to have feelings. It's not a bad thing. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.

And with this we go into the parallels to the storage room scene. If you remember my ep3 meta, then you'll remember how I said that Style didn't really mean it at the time when he said he wanted Fadel right before they hook up. This time he didn't say a single word about it, but his actions show that he does want Fadel this time. Once again I'm gonna steal a thought from @clemelntine's meta:

[Style] isn't entirely giving in/passive in the situation, though. He still has a hands on Fadel holding him close/in place, and does seem to want to touch him. No matter how much he wants Fadel to service him, he isn't gonna let him do it all on his own. He too wants to explore Fadel as well.

We can really see that this time around. Unlike in the storage room, Style has his hands all over the place: on Fadel's throat, underneath Fadel's shirt, in Fadel's pants, pulling Fadel closer with his arm around Fadel's neck. What's more, there's significantly more eye contact. Fadel actually looks Style in the eye now. It's still not as much and as intense as in Style's fantasy, because they're still not quite there yet emotionally, but it's a start. They've both started to develop some actual feelings, and this time around they're also both aware of it. Of their own feelings as well as the other's feelings. Where last time they were acting purely on physical attraction, they're much more emotionally involved this time around. Emotionally they're much more on the same page this time around. And it's beautiful.

Also, I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, but we are all aware that they show us pretty much the entire act from start to, uhhh well, finish, right? Right?? 🫣

No. 8: Be My Boyfriend

Not for the first time Style says he wants Fadel as a boyfriend. Unlike the other times though, Style actually means it this time around. His words are no longer for show, no longer a performance that will be rewarded with Kant's gratitude and his car. Style is being 100% serious about being Fadel's boyfriend. The car is more of an afterthought (and one that he will get to, because a deal is a deal, and he's been in love with the car much longer than he's had any positive feelings for Fadel for, but still. Right there in the woods, I think the car isn't really on his mind at the time).

Style means every flirty thing he says. He means it when he says "You’re mysterious and alluring. You’re quiet, but sexy as hell". If you remember, during the kitchen scene I mentioned that Style wasn't as loud in the flirty things he said, and we can really see that in the aforementioned line and also when he says "[Having a boyfriend is] great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" These lines are much less loud and less performative than compared to everything that came out of his mouth in ep3 on the sports field.

By the way, I need you all to know that this exchange:

F: I’ll stick with jerking off. S: I’m sure.

Actually goes:

F: I can jerk off by myself. กูชักว่าวอยู่เองได้ [guu - chák wâao - yùu - eng - dâai] I - masturbate - be - (by) oneself/myself - be able to S: I know you can do it yourself. รู้ว่ามึงทำเองได้ [rúu wâa - mueng - tam - eng - dâai] know that - you - do - (by) oneself/yourself - be able to

And where did we get a similar exchange before? That's right. In that very scene at the sports field that I just mentioned:

F: If you want it that much, then go jerk off. ถ้าอยากมากเนี่ยก็ไปชักว่าวไป [tâa - yàak - mâak - nîia - gôr - bpai - chák wâao - bpai] if - want - much - [particle] - then - go - masturbate - go S: I know it can be done alone. รู้มันทำคนเดียวได้ [rúu - man - tam - kon diiao - dâai] know - it - do - alone - be able to

The words they say are similar, and yet these two exchanges are very different from one another. Just like in the kitchen, Style's flirting in the woods is much more grounded. It's not the same performance as it was in episode 3. And just as I said in my ep3 meta, it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, not when he's putting up a show:

The inauthenticity in [Style's] insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes [the running track and the market]. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).

What's interesting, though, that even though this is the very first time Fadel actually engages in Style's friendly banter and amiable conversation instead of ignoring him or yelling at him or telling him to piss off, at the beginning of the conversation Style doesn't have Fadel quite just yet. Actually, no. That's not accurate. Style is being genuine, has been genuine all episode already and so he does reach Fadel in the beginning of their conversation. Fadel is finally engaging, is finally getting involved. But then Style loses him again at a certain point. And it's specifically when he says:

But isn't it better to have someone like me with you?

Up until this very point, Fadel was mostly turned towards Style. He's smiled, he's laughed, he's rolled his eyes in amusement and he's actively taken part in Style's conversation. He's been more open with Style than he's ever been before. But now? He stares at Style for a moment, then turns away from him, closing himself off from Style again.

And it's interesting that this is happening at this specific point, because their entire conversation has mostly surrounded sex (adjacent) things and physical attraction. They literally start this conversation referencing their hook-up from right before, Style calls Fadel sexy, and then alludes that he wants to sleep with him again. And I think by the time Style says "I know you can [jerk off] by yourself. But isn’t it better to have someone like me with you?" Fadel is at a point where he's like Oh, so you only want to be my boyfriend just so you can do me again, huh? So this is all I am to you, huh?

Fadel isn't cool with that and so he starts to shut himself off from Style again. Style is rejected again. Style turns his head away from Fadel, sighs, raises his eyebrows, and I think he realizes (at least subconsciously) what Fadel is unhappy about, because the next thing he says the moment he's turned back to Fadel is:

What you said to me just now... I feel the same way.

And again, he's being sincere. His voice is calm and grounded, there's not a single trace of his dramatic antics. And that line and coupled with that sincerity has Fadel listening up again:

"Be my boyfriend," Style says and Fadel listens even more closely. "Give me a chance," Style says and Fadel looks away, laughs, and replies "You don’t even know me". Fadel's words are a challenge, but this time there is no malice, no anger, no annoyance in his voice. His voice is soft. Fadel poses a challenge, but it's not an invitation to fight. Or rather, it is an invitation to fight, but it's a very different fight from before. And Style is only happy to take up said challenge: "And what about it? I’ll learn more about you when you’re my boyfriend."

And for what he says next, I'd love to share a more literal translation with you again. In the English subs Style talks about being 100% in and it being Fadel's turn to let him in, which, yeah, it's the gist of it. However, in Thai he uses the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] again, which I've already talked about in my ep3 meta because Style has used that word before during that scene where Fadel hands him the burger. The day after posting that meta, I actually asked my Thai teacher about this word in class (and nearly died in the process) because I hadn't discussed this word with a native speaker for my meta and while I had discussed this word with my Thai language learning buddy after he brought it up when I was trying to explain the German phrase "sich einlassen auf" (@ German speakers: เปิดใจ is very similar to that!), I just couldn't remember it well and wanted to double check just in case. According to my teacher, it's a word that is used to talk about opening up to something or about giving things a chance, but the literal translation is "to open one's heart" (เปิด [bpèrt] = to open / ใจ [jai] = heart, mind) and I think the series makes use of that literal meaning for a nice metaphor/image here. I think Style's choice of words is very deliberate:

I've opened my heart to you 100% already. กูเปิดใจให้มึงร้อยเปอร์เซนต์แล้วนะ [guu - bpèrt-jai - hâi - mueng - rói - bper-sen - láew - ná] I - open up (one's heart) - for, to - you - 100 - percent - already - [particle]

Only you remain. เหลือแค่มึงอ่ะ [lĕuua - kâe - mueng - àh] remain, left - only - you - [particle]

How much will you open your heart to me? จะเปิดใจให้กูมากแค่ไหน [jà - bpèrt-jai - hâi - guu - mâak kâe năi] will - open up (one's heart) - to, for - I/me - how much

Fadel, who has enclosed his heart in thick, high walls, is being asked how many doors leading up to it he is willing to open. Style subtly reminds Fadel that a relationship consists of two people, but leaves the decision of just how close Fadel will let Style get to his heart entirely up to Fadel. Because that's Fadel's choice to make.

While Style is talking, Fadel is listening intently, really taking in Style's words and contemplating them:

He's quiet for a moment after Style is done telling him You have full access to my heart now. I'm willing to give you a chance. I've done my part. The choice is on you now. Will you grant me access to your heart, too? Will you give me a chance as well?

Fadel thinks about it for a bit more, then laughs a small laugh, throws his head back, and goes "Yeah. Fine." Style is confused. Fadel then explicitly agrees to be his boyfriend. Style's eyes widen. He can't believe his ears. He has to ask for confirmation, has to make sure he really heard it right:

We're boyfriends, right? เป็นแฟนกันใช่มั้ย [bpen - faen - gan - châi mái] be - boyfriend, girlfriend - each other, together - right?

Fadel confirms. Style is absolutely over the moon and showers Fadel in kisses.

Do I think they're already in love? Not exactly. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to look at Fadel as closely as I have been looking at Style (I need 48h days fr 😭😭) but when it comes to Style, I think even if he's not in love just yet, this is the start of something real. We saw in episode 3 that he was starting to develop positive feelings towards Fadel, was starting to genuinely have a good time hanging around Fadel, but he still had ulterior motives in the foreground of his mind. I think when he hooked up with Fadel in the storage room that kicked off something within him because, as I've made very clear in my ep3 meta, to Style sex isn't just sex. Because if it was, his journey this episode would have been going very differently. But throughout this entire episode Style has cared, he has cared so much to the point he's gotten really hurt. And his joy when Fadel agrees to be his boyfriend? That's real. And I don't think it's because he's about to receive the car of his dreams as a reward. If it was, I think Style would have been much more smug about Fadel agreeing to be his boyfriend, would have been much more self-satisfied underneath all that happiness. But Style's joy here is pure. And he doesn't brag about finally "winning" Fadel over, doesn't hold it over his head in a smug HAH, you gave in to me, I'm the one who won our battle of wills, look how cool I am sort of way. Style's joy is real, but what he's feeling is not quite love at this point. But so what if they're not in love just yet? Like Style said: They can get to know each other fall in love when they're boyfriends.

No. 8: Apollo's Ball Of Prophecy Is Real

Remember how a couple of paragraphs ago I said the car was just an afterthought, that Style would still get to? Well, he's getting to it now. He shows up at Kant's place and "When should I come and get your car?" is the first thing out of his mouth right after his hellos. Kant reminds Style of their deal and asks if Fadel has agreed to be Style's boyfriend. Style says "yes", shining brightly as the sun as he says this. And the way he shines while dropping this info to Kant makes me once again think that his happiness here is more focused on Fadel rather than the car. Style is a little smug now, but it's mostly before Kant mentions the words "Fadel" and "faen" together in one single sentence (yes, I had to go with the Thai word for boyfriend just for the alliteration lol). When Style says yes, Fadel is in fact his boyfriend now, the subtext I'm hearing is not something along the lines of Yeah, I finally got him, so where's my beloved car at, bro, we had a deal???? but what I'm hearing is more like Yes!! He is!! Can you believe!! Fadel is my BOYFRIEND!! Omg!! I did it!! Just like we'll see in the flashback to the "be my boyfriend" scene right after, there is something rather pure about Style's complete and utter joy at the thought of Fadel being his boyfriend.

Style relays the "be my boyfriend" conversation to Kant and it's only after that that Style really starts bragging: "Your best friend is a genius, isn’t he? I told you I can get anyone." And yeah, undeniably this is about the fact that he's getting a car out of it, but I also think that he would have bragged about it even if the deal with the car didn't exist. Kant and Style seem to have the sort of friendship where they always brag to each other about their love lives. We were shown this in episode 1 when Kant goes to see Style at the garage and Style immediately asks for the tea on his night with Bison, pretty much begging Kant to brag about it when Kant tries to change the topic to something else. Style would have bragged about Fadel to Kant no matter what. Besides, why wouldn't he go get the car, despite actual feelings being involved now? A deal is a deal, and if he can get the car of his dreams and the boyfriend of his dreams out of it, that's even better. Best of both worlds. Who wouldn't say no to that?

But Style's happiness gets smacked right out of him via Apollo's ball of prophecy as he learns that he should really be very careful what he jokes about. He almost spoke Fadel taking him out to the woods to kill him into existence. Fadel is a hitman. Style's panic gets the better of him. He has seen, felt on his own body even what Fadel is capable of. He doesn't like Fadel that much yet, so he's outta there before he gets to experience first hand the real depths of what Fadel can be capable of if Style gets too annoying. Car be damned. Style may be unhinged but he isn't suicidal.

Kant, however, manages to talk Style into helping him and staying with Fadel anyway. Now, you could say Style is unhinged for agreeing to help Kant instead of firmly refusing his request and getting out of this mess before it gets worse, but I think in that moment Style is genuinely afraid that Fadel WILL kill him if Style breaks up with him, breaks his heart right after Fadel has finally, finally given him closer access to it. And Style has had to work very hard for said access, so he knows very well how big that decision was for Fadel to entrust Style with just a little bit of his heart. And if Style then goes and breaks that little bit of Fadel's heart that he was given in the very next moment? That's a death sentence on Style's head right there.

And another reason why I think Style agrees to continue working for Kant's mission is that Style likes to help. I've already touched on this in my ep3 meta:

Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode [ep3] when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.

Helping people is something that comes easy to Style, something he doesn't really have to think about, and so when Kant practically begs him to help Style can't do anything but agree to help Kant because not helping would go entirely against the nature of his character. Also, who could resist First's puppy eyes? Valid, absolutely valid. I, too, would fold like thin paper if First looked at me like That.

No. 9: Over Your Limit

Style is at the gym, probably in an attempt to work off some of the overwhelming emotions that Kant's reveal has left him with. What's interesting is, as @secriden noted, that Style decided to go there during daytime. From episode 2, both we, the audience, as well as Style know that Fadel likes to go to the gym at night specifically to avoid crowds. It's probably safe to assume that Style went there during the day specifically in order to avoid Fadel.

So Style sits there, lost in his memories, recontextualizing everything that happened at the greenhouse, processing Kant's news, rethinking his decision. Unfortunately for him, he's already made his choice the moment he agreed to help Kant, and so in the end Style goes Fuck it, I'm doing this.

Unexpectedly, Fadel shows up. Style hadn't been mentally prepared for that and despite his fuck it attitude just mere seconds ago (17, to be exact), his instincts kick in and he panics. Everything within him is screaming at him get away from this man, your life is in danger and so Style immediately rejects Fadel's offer for help: "I can’t do it anyway. I was pushing my limits."

Style is pushing his limits. Hitting on a guy? Sure, that's fine. Making him his boyfriend, despite said guy having walls as thick as the Great Wall of China? A little challenge, but nothing Style can't handle. But dating someone who is a professional killer, someone who is capable of taking lives and might very well be capable of taking his own boyfriend's life if need may be? That really is pushing any limit Style could ever have even as much as dreamed of. He can't do it.

But despite every instinct within Style telling him to run away, Style doesn't, because that would be suspicious and Style can't risk Fadel getting suspicious because that would seal his deathly fate even quicker. So Style hesitantly leans back and lets Fadel help him. And here at this point, I just wanna give a little shout out to Style raising his eyebrows and sighing a little after they're done, like whew, I survived that, I'm still alive, because it makes me giggle:

When Fadel alludes to wanting to have sex, Style plays dumb. Style has used this strategy before when he wanted to find out the connection between Fadel and the host club, but where in ep3 Style was playing dumb in order to gain Fadel's trust, here at the gym Style is playing dumb in order to delay having to get close to Fadel again (much less sleeping with him) while he figures out a way to get out of it. When Fadel cuddles up to him, it's the last straw. Style's panic takes over for good and he makes an escape. But then Fadel calls out to him, asking him to wait. Shit. Style's fight for his life is not yet over. Style stops, trying not to be suspicious or to do anything else that would give Fadel a motive to kill him.

Fadel walks up to him and wipes the sweat of his face. Where before Fadel's touch has recently been making Style feel good, it now feels very threatening instead. Yet, at the same time it's also a kind and caring gesture, which is something that isn't lost on Style.

Style very much notices the care in Fadel's action, but his new perspective on Fadel makes it hard for him to embrace and appreciate the kindness of it. And the kindness and care also contradicts the image of the ruthless killer Style now has in his mind of Fadel. These two contrasting aspects simply do not go together. Unable to cope, Style runs off.

The Attempt of a Conclusion

Where Style had just a little bit of a problem at the beginning of the episode, by the end of it that problem has grown much larger than he could have ever anticipated. Over the course of episode 3 we saw that Style was slowly starting to develop some positive feelings for Fadel, was slowly starting to actively enjoy hanging out around him, was starting to get curious about Fadel of his own accord and not for motives connected to the deal. Yet, the deal was still very much always there. In episode 4, however? Style might not have entirely realized it yet, but that deal is no longer relevant to him. Not showing up to the morning jogging or at the market might still have been a planned strategy in the mission Kant gave him, but that mission goes right out the window the moment he hears that Fadel had asked about him. When Style goes running to Fadel the second he is told that Fadel had asked about him when actually Style could and probably should have played his game a little longer, really letting Fadel stew, from that moment onward it's all about Style's own feelings rather than the car. And everything he does this episode is led by those feelings. Over the course of this episode we see that Style has genuinely started to like Fadel. And he had to. He had to start liking Fadel before learning about Fadel's real job. Because the higher you are, the further you fall and Style accidentally having caught feelings makes the drop down worse, for both Style, the character as well as us, the audience. Style genuinely likes Fadel now, and if that wasn't enough of a problem already, the man he likes turns out to be a professional killer.

Crap, indeed.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10)

[saeun]

intended error ! gojo satoru.

sum. co-workers! — following the higher-ups order of a double mission, you make gojo book a room for two at a hotel. gojo sees this as the perfect opportunity.

don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh.

gojo's on the verge of cackling. in order to save himself from a harsh smack on the head, he covers his mouth with his palm. his eyes shift over to you — you're just absolutely hilarious. nothing is funny, yet everything is funny.

the urge to laugh doesn't cease either. his stomach tightens each second he forces himself to not open his mouth.

"this is—" he stops, letting a laugh escape before disguising it as a cough. "AHEM! this is a small ass room."

"don't. i'm going back to the receptionist," you pick up your previously-dropped-in-shock purse to ready yourself for negotiating and complaining.

after being shoved on a twelve-hour flight with gojo, you're not gonna fit yourself on a queen-sized bed with him. maybe you shouldn't have taken on this double mission with him.

"wait," he turns on his heels, grabbing the hem of your shirt. "we can work this out."

you sighed, lifting your purse to your shoulder so you can fold your arms to express disappointment.

"how can we, gojo? that bed can barely fit you — far less for the bathroom."

"i'll take the floor. see? no problem."

"don't be an ass," irritated with his problem solving skills, you revert back to the original plan of meeting the receptionist. only this time gojo won't be able to stop your actions.

he chooses to back away from you. it's totally not because you shot him an ominous glare. he can only hope for the best with the receptionist.

ten-minutes later, you re-enter the room only to be welcomed with an already asleep gojo. there's a high possibility that it's the motherly part of you that's acting right now, but you can't just leave him sprawled out. half his body is on the bed, the other is dangling off the edge. he looks like an abandoned ragdoll.

"psst, gojo," you whispered, gently patting his head.

he doesn't budge.

"hey, gojo," you tried again.

he doesn't move a muscle.

"free all-you-can-eat dinner in thirty-minutes for all new guests."

his eyes automatically open. the pure excitement on his* face ignites a small flame of guilt. you lied, unfortunately, but it was for his own good.

it doesn't take him any longer to realize you told nothing but a sweet lie. this fact is known by his exaggerated groan and turn of his body. now he's face-flat on the pillows.

"is lying all you know?" his muffled voice speaks, though the annoyance isn't missed.

you hum, giving him two pats on the back before gathering your luggage. the noise of your bags aren't unnoticed. the familiar sounds immediately gather his attention to you.

"where are you going?" he asks, running a hand through his bangs.

"i got another room. it's the last one on your left down the hall," you educated him, jiggling your room keys in his direction.

gojo doesn't like this. not at all. this is on the same level of accusing him of murder! the sight of your keys holding another room number introduces pure irritation within his bones. rolling off the bed, gojo takes giant steps to you. once close enough, he snatches the keys when you weren't focused on it.

"where's my pho— HEY!" you gasped at the thief, immediately reaching your hand to take back what's rightfully yours.

"finders keepers, losers weepers," he recites an old saying, raising his arm higher to tease you.

the fight for the keys go on for seven-minutes. it consisted of you jumping like never before and gojo having the time of his life. unlike him, you aren't exactly built for jumping continuously. it was only a matter of time before exhaustion creeps in.

"you tired?" he tilts his head, keeping his eyes on you in case you fall forward. with the way you're hunched over, it's probably best that he moves you to the bed himself.

"c'mere and sit," he orders, positioning one hand on your back as the other holds your shoulder. the keys are still safely secured, though.

gojo's eyes scan your body. just like your case prior, he feels a little guilty for making you jump around. this may explain the sudden switch in his personality at the moment, but those keys will not be given.

"okay, i'm fine now," you inhaled a deep breath, vocally exhaling as you slap your palms together. "my keys, sir."

"what keys?"

"my keys. the one i got like twenty-minutes ago."

"i think i kinda lost it..?"

all hell breaks loose. it didn't take you a second before your voice raised ten octaves higher. gojo mentally prepares himself for the scolding of a life time. even the higher-ups don't scold him the way you do.

"my KEYS, GOJO. I HAVE TO RETURN IT SOON," you begin, eyebrows furrowing at the thought of loosing the keys.

gojo shrugs, "just stay here, then. we can find it later."

"there is no later," you facepalm, desperately trying to settle down.

"there is now! it's late, we need to shower," he claps, standing up and then pulling you up to him.

the look of defeat fuels him. it's satisfying how easy you give up sometimes. a part of him wants to tell you that the keys are in his pocket — too bad that's for "later." right now he can go back to the original plan of sharing a room and one bed with you that was truly not his doing.

[sophie-frm-mars]

I'm gonna plural discourse for a bit

There's a video that I saw that proposed changing the diagnosis of DID/OSDD to either Dissociative type PTSD or BPD with dissociative amnesia. I think this is not a wholly sensible suggestion and I get into why in the first half of The Mad & The Mentally Ill (text up on my patreon video out in a few months probably) but without getting into a deep critique of the diagnostic model itself I wanna talk about the merits and problems with that suggestion

So on the one hand, PTSD and BPD are already both dissociative in their lived experience. With PTSD you have both the dissociation of feeling like your trauma happened to someone else and the dissociation of feeling like you aren't where and when you really are when you're experiencing a flashback. BPD is dissociative in all its core mechanisms, and there is a sort of emotional "dissociative amnesia" at play when someone with BPD moves from one extreme emotional state to another, because they shift emotional reality so fast it can give them and people around them whiplash. This is a part of what gets people with BPD called manipulative - they change emotional states so fast people assume they must be faking how they're feeling to get what they want.

Therefore it makes some sense to some degree to say that someone whose dissociative identities are formed out of intense trauma has PTSD and that a system of alters that resemble different "personality states" of one core identity is BPD. Or at least it's a somewhat internally consistent model

On the other hand, the lived experience of plurality isn't like that and the best way to explain the difference is to say "it's like you are several different people". In other words I think that there's something potentially useful in this suggestion for helping plural people understand themselves but the suggestion itself is coming from a strictly singular perspective that wants to insist that the ontological nature of the self is singular and in reality the self is simply plural in all cases. "Singular self" people are radically different people who experience radically different thoughts and feelings at work, at home, with friends, with family, when stressed, when tired, when reminded of childhood. As Richard Schwartz says "parts work is for everyone" and I think this attempt to legislate plurality out of the DSM is philosophically an acknowledgement that in effect everyone is at least a little bit plural and an attempt to reconcile that by saying "therefore no one is" instead of opening up your conception of the self to a little more possibility than previously allowed.

Besides all of this, and now I am getting a bit into my critique of the diagnostic model, trauma works differently for different people, and for some people the minor traumas of simply being alive are enough to have profound psychological effects. In the plural community I've seen discussion of "endogenic systems", i.e systems where "they're just like that" rather than there being a specific root trauma. The trauma that forms something like BPD is everyday and commonplace - an environment of traumatic invalidation - just kinda being gaslit by life. Also I think there's a popular understanding that the way people heal from wounds is not their "natural" state and is therefore wrong, but you just have to accept that you are the shape you are and you have no choice but to love yourself. I guess after writing that sentence I should probably acknowledge that I'm plural and that I've known since I was a teenager but was too scared to tell anyone until about two years ago. Where was i. Okay you need to accept that every experience shapes and affects you some amount and lose the idea that trauma is a unique kind of experience which is bad and makes you somehow bad or less or deformed.

Just because someone is some kind of way because of experiences they had doesn't mean they need fixing. Everyone who will ever live is ways they are because of stuff that happened. My point is that I don't see a distinction between systems being "born this way" or formed through specific trauma as long as they are comfortable and happy existing as themselves in the world, and it's stupid and reductive to try and redefine plurality in singular terms when no one is truly singular anyway

[theesirenteller]

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫

ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ ! ! DO NOT READ WHAT'S STATED BELOW IF YOU"RE TRIGGED ➷ ➷

【 This chapter contains Gun Violence, Abuse both psychological & physical】

Chapter Five; 𝕴𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 | Masterlist

"We have a problem."

"We? No, you have a problem."

"Oh no, we have a problem."

"And how does my cousin banging some stripper affect me?" Nick questioned with a chastising grin. 

Over the last month, Christopher and Epiphany had been more friendly in the public eye. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were seeing one another or at least messing around. Annie had yet to tell Beth about Epiphany's casual bragging about her and Christopher's sex life. Despite Beth being her older sister, Annie didn't want to be seen as a rat or lose someone she had considered a friend. She liked having Epiphany as a friend and didn't want her relationship spilling into her sisterhood. On the flip side, Beth took notice of just about everything Rio did. He wasn't one to be flashy or make a scene. His behavior over the course of the three years she'd known him was either consistent or spontaneous. Nowadays he'd drop by the club more often and never on the days when Epiphany wasn't working. Drop and pick-up days were whenever Epiphany worked. The two would share smiles at one another from across the room. He would stay to watch her perform solos on stage and then they'd share a drink at the bar. Or Beth would see him leave and then Epiphany would leave right after. If not that, it was the shared touches. His hand would pat her back on his way out or if he was close enough, Epiphany would kiss him on the cheek.

And Beth loathed it all.

Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer was something that Nick learned and lived by. After Beth had set him up to be locked up and he'd gotten her back 'where it hurts' things were back to 'normal'. Well, as normal as he and his brother wanted things to be. The blonde councilwoman at her beck and call, open to being bent in whichever direction they could push her in. The brothers were still playing the long game with her. Beth was the perfect spokesperson to appeal to rich, white, privileged investors in across states better than Nick could. And when things go to shit, Beth is set to have a hard time. Both Rio and Nick would be sure of it.

"It affects you because it affects me," she hissed, "I'm not close to him like that and I doubt you two are close after…last year's events." A teasing glint in her eye and a smug smirk laid across her thin lips as she saw Nick's smile slowly diminish. "Anyway," She started off with a higher pitched voice and chirpy tone, "Your cousin, brother, whatever is involved with the Japanese. I don't know what the details are but I want in. "

"You want a percentage of that deal." Nick clarified while he relaxed back in his office seat, "How do you know he's even in business with them?"

"He moved eight SUV trucks filled with Japanese yen through my strip club and my second dealership." She informed before shrugging her shoulders with a subtle hair flip, "We're partners, it's only fair that I'm cut in."

Nick looked at her with amusement in his eyes. He was amused but still impressed with how far she had come. She was more like him than she could ever admit, if not worse, "Right," he replied casually with a slight nod."I can't be involved, that'd be a conflict of interest-" 

He was quickly cut off by Beth, "How? This affects you because then we have nothing to pin on him with the feds!"

"It's personal. I don't know how close they are or how he feels about this chick. So either one of us removing her without motive causes unnecessary heat. You can't just kill her because he'd banging her," Nick replied with a raised voice and sharp tone. He didn't miss the way her eyes widened, or how she gulped and clenched her jaw. Her discomfort was loud without words needing to be said,  "You're gonna have to create a shadow. Set her up in some way, get photos, and then you get rid of her. That'll be your reason and he'll have to understand because it's just business. Take a page out of his book." he advised.

Beth quickly grabbed her designer tote bag and stood up, "Well thank you, councilman, I heard you loud and clear." and with her passive-aggressive statement she spun on her heel and strutted out of his office.

"Happy to help, Councilwoman!"Nick ridiculed behind her with a chuckle just before the door shut.

When she arrived at her home, Beth had done exactly like she was told but not without adding her own details. Beth had a four-bedroom, two-bathroom luxurious home in a more upscale area of the suburbs of Detroit. She lived in luxury now with her new position and she enjoyed the space that was solely hers. Seeing her children every other weekend was good enough for her, nowadays. Her old life felt like another world but she couldn't deny that she didn't miss it. She was powerful now. She was somebody who people either loved or feared. She felt invincible. "Annie, could you come down here for a second?!" 

"What's up?" the short-haired dirty blonde questioned a few minutes later. 

"Hey, do you think you could set up lunch between your little stripper friend and me?" Beth asked, " I'm thinking that Ruby and you need to be there as well."

"Yeah sure, but uh what for?" Annie replied as she raised her bushy eyebrows.

"Just lunch," her voice softened as her eyes lowered to a more 'saddened' look, "I have to talk to her about Rio. He's dangerous and I don't want her ending up like Lucy," she sighed with faux-sorrow.

"Or is it that you're jealous." Annie smirked and wiggled her brows. 

"Oh please, Annie," Beth rolled her eyes, " I am not jealous of some bimbo stripper hooking up with him. Believe me, she's keeping him out of my hair."

"Mhmm, whatever you say," Annie teased with a sing-a-song tone, "But yeah I'll set it up."

And she did just that. Annie had set up a lunch date the following weekend with Epiphany at Tony's diner. Saturday afternoon to be exact. Epiphany had gotten ready at Christopher's apartment. It'd become a routine for the pair to hook up in the middle of the day instead of grabbing lunch. Sometimes, a quick lunch date was after an hour of indulging in each other's bodies. As usual, Christopher had left first then thirty minutes later, Epiphany had left. 

She had gotten into an Uber and two of Christopher's henchmen weren't far behind. They tailed behind unbeknownst to her, all the way to the diner. As soon as she walked in and the suburban mothers spotted her, almost immediately judgment flashed across their eyes. Their eyes ranked her attire thaat consisted of; A short green-camo mini skirt with green sequin scattered across it,  a tight-fitted white cropped camisole that read 'AS IF' in big bold gold letters, a dark green jean bolero jacket, and knee–high heeled boots hugged her thighs.

"Oh hell no…"Ruby scoffed. 

"Geez, you can take the girl outta of the strip-club but can't take the club out of the girl,"Beth added.

"Wow…uh…that's a lot for lunch," Annie cringed and bit at her lip.

Epiphany raised her left eyebrow as she looked at the three women before her eyes narrowed in on Annie, "I thought you said we were having brunch. As just the two of us."She proceeds to take a seat in the booth seat across from the trio. Her arms soon folded under her ample breasts as an expression remained unmoved.

"I know and I'm sorry I didn't clarify there would be more than just the two of us but-" Annie was cut off by Epiphany in the midst of trying to apologize and explain herself.

"But, you wanted to ambush me." Epiphany stated in a matter-of-fact tone, straightening her shoulders back as she sat up straighter,

"We're not here to fire you," Ruby stated.

"No. Not at all!" Annie protested.

"Look, we're just here to talk to you," Beth sighed, "To warn you."

"Oh? About what? Is the club shutting down?" Epiphany questioned them, her eyes moving across the three women back and forth until they settled in on Beth.

"Look Epiphany, I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye-" Beth attempted to reason but was cut off.

"We haven't?" Epiphany mocked with a higher pitch to her voice and a slight head tilt, "...Why would you think that?"

"Well we haven't had a full conversation over a cup of cof-" Beth giggled before she was cut off once again.

"And who's fault would that be? I've never thought we had beef. In fact," Epiphany licked across her bottom lip as her eyes swept up and down the Detroit council woman's face, "I don't think of you at all."

A look of bewilderment washed over the three women's faces. The nostrils of Beth's nose flared and her peach lipstick-covered lips curled. Before anyone could utter a word, the waitress came trotting over, "What will y'all be having?" she asked with an impatient tone.

"Well, all have Cobb salads." Beth ordered for everyone but Epiphany quickly jumped in after to switch her order, "I'll just take a black coffee."

"Look here, we're trying to warn you that you're getting involved with a very dangerous man." Beth hissed before rambling on, "You don't know the vile, horrible things he's done to people. Like our friend Lucy, he seduced her with his kindness only to kill her when she was no longer of use to him. And me, he's used sex and exploration to control my every move. It took me outsmarting him many times to get out of being murdered by him."

"And he kidnapped me!" Annie was quick to mention.

Epiphany's lips stretched at the sides into a tight smile before she started to laugh. her laugh came off as a subtle and serene giggle, "Who are you even talking about? Who is he?"

"Oh for the love god, the gang leader that's going to pound town on you!!" Ruby sighed in annoyance.

"Rio."

"Gangfriend!"

Annie and Beth both said different names at once. That was when Epiphany knew it was time to go. She had heard enough. "Sounds like you ladies have got whoever's fucking me mixed up with whatever you've got going on." She said as she stood up from her seat, "If the person you know is so horrible, why not get restraining orders? and dip out? Or I don't know…get rid of the person?" Epiphany suggested as she got out of the booth. She then proceeded to turn around and start heading out of the diner.

"Girls a lost cause." Ruby sighed.

" Good riddance." Beth scoffed.

"What do you think we should do now?' Annie asked as they watched Epiphany walk down the street from the window. 

"Plan B," Beth smirked before pulling out her phone.

Their words didn't fall on deaf ears. Epiphany thought of what they had said throughout her day on campus. She sat through her lecture in airplane mode. Denting her pen with bite marks she stared aimlessly out the fourth-floor window. These claims…these accusations…they sounded familiar. Eerily familiar. 

'Watch yourself'

'Cassius did a number on his last girl, Está locõ. Un Díablo.' 

'Do you even know what his family does to people? You don't wanna marry into that.'

The images of Cassius's brown skin covered in black and blue reddened flesh from fingernails that broke his skin. The screams and cries of men being burned alive, of it replayed in her mind. Or how the boys who spared her glance and shot her a smile at The Kitty Box ended up disappearing left & right.  'Was Chris similar? Or was he worse?' Epiphany wondered to herself throughout the day.  Why was it that she attracted dangerous men? And why did she find such jovial comfort in that? A sense of security and importance. After all, it's what she always dreamed of. She dreamed of having the life of women like Elvira Hancock, Carmela Soprano, and of course, Ginger McKenna. 

The remainder of her time in lectures blew by in the blink of an eye. Since she couldn't be bothered to pay attention in class, Epiphany decided to settle herself in a cafe on campus with a series of notes that she brought from one of her classmates.

"Hmph…I always thought you only looked best on your back but this is a slightly nicer view."

Cassius. Surely, Epiphany must've been hearing things. She didn't dare peel her eyes away from the notes that laid against the table. Her mouth grew dry. Then her palms grew sweaty. The underneath of her breasts began to moisten. Only hot air escaped her lips as she breathed outwards. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here. But he was here. In Detroit. In a cafe on the campus where she attended. And he sat right across from her. His sandy-brown-tanned hand reached over and laid upon hers. Epiphany let out a choked moan of pain, of agony. It felt as though he had burned her with a hot iron. His skin was always hot. Very hot as if he had a furnace built within his body. As she snatched her hand away, Epiphany's eyes finally settled on him. He looked exactly the same as the day she left him. Shiny bald head, Smooth, poreless brown skin, and a full, thick goatee that nearly covered his lips. He was dressed like a reaper, in all black from his leather parka-jacket to his Timberland boots.

"What the fuck are you doing here." Epiphany had finally gotten the courage to say, with her shoulders back and a sharpness to her tone, "Better yet, who told you I was here? My mother?" 

To this, Cassius scoffed, "A whore like that doesn't care for her child overnight, don't flatter yourself." He then folded his large hands together on the table. The diamonds within his chunky rings reflected off of the silverware on the table, "You called me."

"And why would I do that?" She questioned with a tilt of her head slightly to the side, her eyes nor her face gave away that she was shocked. Epiphany sat there with a stoic expression. Never would she have called him. She left Las Vegas behind and everyone in it for a reason. To be normal. As normal as a girl with a not-so-stellar past could be. But, she was only twenty-three and tried to remind herself that life was only just starting. Her childhood felt like adulthood but this era of her was her freedom. 

"Because you need me. You said it over the phone. You said what I already know. You can't live without me, you and I both know you can not function in a civilized world without being taken care of. Look at your job now, A whore on a pole." He tsked and shook his head. Cassius as always thought so low of women. Especially those who worked in the sex work or entertainment industry. Yet he and his family endorsed it all. They funded all if not the majority of the clubs in Dubai and Los Vegas. Or at least that's what he and her mother told her. 

And his words angered her. It made her blood boil and her skin crawl. Her teeth dug into the meaty flesh of her bottom lip as she stared across the table at him. Her mouth was no longer dry as she collected spit from the sides of her mouth before she hawked spit in his eye, "Hijo de puta! Even with all the money in the world, you're still a useless trick with nothing to offer but your money. You're lower than a whore."

Cassius's ears grew reddened as the corners of his jaw tightened in. His bushy brows started to narrow in as he got up at the same time she had. Only, he flipped over the cafe table causing a squad of campus security to bum rush into the spot. The man began cursing in Arabic as he lunged for her but Epiphany was quicker than him. She ran behind security and they tackled him to the floor. Her day had gone from annoying to bad. How did he find her? He said he had spoken to her and that she discussed needing him. These were the questions that plagued her mind as she was placed in the counselor's office alongside the police. She filled out various forms before the restraining order was put in. 

None of the day's events made sense. Beth, Annie, and their friend had no business 'warning' her about Christopher or as they called him, Rio. Rio had no knowledge of her and Epiphany wasn't important enough for his enemies to track down her ex to 'take her back'; Somehow, she felt like Beth was involved. Why, other than petty jealousy? Epiphany had no clue. It all overwhelmed her. The web of backstabbing, sex, personal gain, and who knew what else. Everything that transpired within the last three hours had caused Epiphany to form a severe headache along with body pain. Stress started to take a toll on her body. And after questioning and fillings were done, she was driven to her apartment and taken upstairs by police.

The moment that she got inside, she flopped herself across the couch; and let her mind go numb.

The scent of sewer water, shit, along with the feeling of a warm hand against her cheek had awoken Epiphany from her deep slumber. Her groggy eyes slowly opened and as her vision became clear, Christopher stood in front of her. She was seated on a wonky metal chair in an underground area that looked like a sewer storage locker. Epiphany, winced at the sight of her new setting and instantly latched her hands onto his forearms and stood up on her feet, "Chris? Chris what's going on?" she whimpered in fear.

His usually big brown eyes were dark. And the subtle smirk on his lips made her grow weary with fear. This was the first time she felt truly intimidated by him. His stature; The way he towered over her five foot two frame with his six foot one. Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes as her chest began to rise and fall quickly, "P-please..please don't hurt me." she begged. Not him. Anyone but him. He was the only aspect of her life that made her feel alive. His gentleness, The romance he brought to her life in such a short amount of time was overwhelming and she feared that ending more than her own death.

"Shh, relax. I'm not gonna hurt you, baby," his tone was mellow as he raised his left hand and laid it against the sides of her face. Christopher dipped his head down, his narrow nose brushing along her button one. His fingers gently caressed the side of her chubby cheek and side of her jaw, "But you tryna hurt me." his once gentle tone darkened, lowering to a baritone octave that sent chills down her spin. Before Epiphany could protest, she felt the coolness of metal riding up the middle of her breasts. His signature golden Glock kissed her bare skin, firmly pressed to the side of her temple. This caused a sequel to escape her lips and before she could utter any type of rebuttal, he hushed her with his lips placed on hers. The kiss was gentle, sweet, and slow. His right arm wrapped around her waist.

Epiphany didn't know whether to grasp him closer or fight him off. But what she could feel was his heart pounding like a punch against hers.

It all felt so surreal. Like a nightmare and wet dream all at once. Gentleness mixed in with the threat of violence. All she could feel was fear and confusion. Epiphany's body trembled against his. And she knew he felt. He had to have felt her. Her fear, her anxiety, her heart.

"Why do I got the feeling that…you're gonna be the bullet that puts a hole in my head, hm?" he hummed against her mouth with the slickness of a snake. He moved the barrel of the gun from her temple to his when he mentioned 'hole in my head' before laying back to her temple. Her tears sprinkled onto his cheek, "Did you get enough info on me to run it back to those bitches?"

"Wha-? You think I'm Beth's rat?"

Her pushing up into a frowning pout as she looked directly into his eyes. Her eyes of uncertainty changed to a look of disbelief, "Why?"

"I could ask you the same thing. That little lunch date looked real interesting,". Christopher hissed and with each movement his lips made, she could feel the brush against her mouth.

"Oh, Rio it was." she rolled her r's when she seethed his name, "Annie set me up with Beth to warn me about you."

He stood still and the menacing look he once possessed of narrowed eyes, a tightly clenched jaw, and striking eye contact had slowly begun to relax. The crease between his brows slowly smoothed out. His eyes flicked back and forth between looking at her and looking above her head. Christopher was debating. Not only with her but with himself. "And what did she say?" She, Beth. He didn't care for what the other two stiffs spoke about because it usually was a rehearsal of what she said.

"The short version? You're a fucking serial killer who uses sex and manipulation to exploit and get what you want, the long version? a lot of secrets were spilled out in the open." Epiphany replied, she spoke through her nose with a slight whisper to her voice.

An ounce of a smirk peeled on the right corner of his lips as he rolled the gun along the side of her neck. He didn't confirm or deny but he coyly asked, "What you think about that mama?"

"I'm thinking what the fuck does that have to do with me and you and why you have a gun to my head?!" she cried out, anger laced in her outburst. Her hands shook at her sides as she didn't push him away due to the gun. The fear of it going off in her face or throat was far greater than her anger. "I'm not involved!" she protested.

"Oh no, see you've been involved sweetheart." Christopher argued, "It's just a matter of whose side you're on."

Fool him once, shame on them. Fool him twice, shame on him….there wouldn't be a third time. Christopher was no fool and the moment the Boland woman walked into his life was when he realized he'd gotten a big…soft. And Epiphany just seemed eerily close to business for his liking. He needed undying loyalty, control, and if she was truly for him then he needed her in line. Love could come later…after sacrifice.

"Unless…" Christopher began to chuckle but the sound wasn't from happiness, "Unless you don't wanna be involved then you can leave right now." he took a few steps away from her and aimed the gun at the dark, wet hallway to the left.

Epiphany's eyebrows knitted together as she looked up at him in confusion. His play on words and attitude switch was causing gears to twist and bend in her mind. They spent every day together. If not day then night. Leave where?

Blinking rapidly as she stood there. She didn't move. She only stared at him. "What do you mean? " she questioned before licking at her lips, "Wi-...will I see you later?" uncertainty in her voice. And his smile made her stomach twist and turn, "You do mean I don't have to be involved with the club right or with whatever shit you've got going on with those women…right?"

She needed clarification and he gave her none of that. "Nah darlin, I'm afraid this is the end of line for us. You're off the hook." He dismissed her casually. His tone is deep and delicate. It was almost like a goodbye kiss. But he never moved, his eyes still settled in on her like a lion waiting to be challenged. Which let Epiphany know he wasn't done.

"No."

"No?" He challenged with a slight head tilt as his eyes looked her over.

Despie how fearful, how anxious she felt, Epiphany still chose to stand her ground and challenge him, "The moment I turn around you'll put a bullet to my head. Because you don't believe I'm not involved con esa perra concejal" (with that bitch councilwoman)

Sassily, she crossed her arms against her chest and cocked her hip slightly to the side as she stared at him. "Even if you don't kill me-"

"How bout you kill for me?" He proposed.

Epiphany's eyes widened as Christopher stalked towards her. "Come on champ." His hand latched to the back of her neck, forcefully making her walk in front of him down the dark tunnel. She followed him with stumbling feet and squinted her eyes in an attempt to see where they were going.

And then Christopher began to whistle and a light turned on in one of the rooms. Epiphany was led into that room and came face to face with Cassius. He'd been hung upside down with his hands and feet taped up. His left eye was swollen shut, shaded in dark plum purple and blue. His right eye was completely gorged out, by the looks of it…he'd been burned. "Actually, I shouldn't have said to kill for me. It's for you, a gift." he chuckled, "I thought the unmarked SUV was the fed tailing you but turns out it's this sorry looking Hijo de puta."

Epiphany cried as she looked at her ex-lover in horror. Sure, he was fucking vile. And everyone eventually would die. But, she couldn't take a life. "Chris, no. Please no, I can't." She weeped.

Christopher tilted his head back and inhaled deeply before he slowly straightened up and eyed her, "You will." he swiveled the gun around his finger and then offered it towards her. "He's your problem and you gotta get rid of em'. "

"You think he's gonna let you go? A girl like you…" his eyes trailed her body from top to bottom in admiration with a sinister smirk, "Ain't easy to let go."

"Someone will come looking for him!" She protested, "He's well connected in Vegas, his parents own everything."

"He ain't shit but a bootleg con artist. A janky ass car salesman at best." Christopher revealed with a dismissive tone. He then grasped her jaw in his hand with a gentle touch. Once Epiphany looked in his eyes, he leaned his head down and whispered "Do it. You don't gotta worry bout nothing else, I'll handle it. I take care of what's mine." His tone was reassuring.

"And I'm yours?" She sniffled with a flustered, wet face.

"Only if you wanna be." He rasped as he laid the gun firmly in her hand.

Breathing in deeply, She held it with two hands. Christopher switched from being beside her to standing behind her. His hands laid over hers as he steadied her arms up. His feet nudged her legs open and pushed one of her feet forward.

"Come on mamitá, show me how much you want this." She could feel his warm breath in her ear, a gentle caress of his nose nudging at the side of her earlobe. "Make me proud."

Her head hurts so bad, her chest aches as the vile metallic taste jumbles up in the back of her mouth. Christopher, Rio was all that they said he was but worse. But, she wanted him. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to keep making her feel seen, wanted, cared for, and maybe even loved. Cassius was right. She couldn't function in a world without being taken care of. Not because she lacked the skill set or had any type of disability holding her back. No, it was because she didn't want to. Her hands gripped the base of the gun. Its heavyweight in her small hands felt as though she was holding someone's heart in her hands. And in a way she was. She was holding someone's lifeline.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

[spacelazarwolf]

I've been attending a queer community group for 6 months in a small city. I don't talk about myself since I'm fleeing violence and just go to be around people I don't work with. Yesterday i was hanging out with someone from that group, outside of the group, for the first time. They thanked me for making the group more accepting by being openly Jewish. They've started making their events less Xtian, making plans behind closed doors to be more open to non xtians/atheists, and shutting down antisemitism super aggressively since they found out I'm Jewish. They threatened to kick people from group last week when they told an antisemitic joke (once I was out of the room as to not upset me). There's only one problem.

I'm not Jewish.

I grew up in a primarily Jewish community. I've attended a lot of events and gatherings at Synagogues my whole life. I can say "I don't speak Hebrew" in Hebrew. And I am not Jewish. 2 or 3 months ago people were trash talking religion but clearly just meant Xtian and I corrected them to say Xtian when they mean Xtian, citing my queer Jewish *friends* as people who have not had the same religious queerphobia, and good religious experiences in general. I was thanked, conversation kept going, and I did not know it until last night.

I immediately corrected my friend. They think this is hilarious. I am consulting a rabbi on if I can ethically only correct people when they make it known to me that they think I'm Jewish, since I'm apparently making an impact on the group in a positive way when they assume. I feel insane. Goyim will hear you don't think Jewish people are homophobic and assume you are Jewish bc there is no other explanation I guess. Feel free to toss your two cents in on this comedy of errors while I wait for the rabbi to get back to me.

allying so hard u accidentally trip into the mikveh.

honestly though, it is really funny to me how many goyim think that the only people who could possibly defend jews are other jews. this is a pretty consistent issue in progressive spaces, so i'm glad you're calling it out.

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[olderthannetfic]

A question a bit out of the usual ones, but do you have any free resources on sex ed and female pleasure?

Like, i try masturbating and i know the parts work, but I've never been able to Like, get anything more than a little stimulation. Never orgasmed, really want to

Lots of sex ed books I've seen recced are paid ( and I live in Europe and can't exactly hope to get them here) and everyone I've ever talked to is like " just wait for the right person, pleasure ks related to feeling" which, while not wrong, I don't want as my only option, especially since the same ppl told me to wait since sex isn't all that's cranked up to be

So, any advice/ resources you might know?

--

I don't have specific book recs since everything I read was on paper and from the 90s.

I also think women's masturbation isn't all that well covered even by otherwise great books. Men's habits are covered everywhere, up to and including hilarious websites like JackinWorld. Women? It's usually just advice about vibrators.

I had my first orgasm while doing math homework. It occurred to me that I'd never had one and that this was rather silly since I masturbated every day and had for as long as I could remember, so I tried a different technique.

Frankly, orgasm isn't the be all end all of sexual pleasure, especially for women, though I'm sure it depends on the person. But yes, it makes sense to figure out how to have one.

If you're on any heavy-duty medications, it's possible they're making it harder to come. In the absence of anything like that, it's probably just a lack of strong enough, lengthy enough, or a specific type of stimulation.

People telling you to wait are morons. Even a partner you really like will be better in bed if you can tell them what kinds of physical sensations you enjoy. And experimentation by yourself is one of the best and lowest stress ways to figure that out. There's no pressure to get a move on or to worry about another person's pleasure while trying to sort out your own frustrating body.

One thing that often works (though not very well for me personally) is a strong vibrator with a good variety of settings that pulse in different patterns. Even if you've tried a vibrator, if it was some namby pamby weak one or if it only provided one consistent stimulation and not a varying pattern, it may not have been enough. (There's a reason vibrator advice is so overrepresented in what little sex ed stuff there is about female masturbation.)

However, another problem I've seen is that it seems like people assume that all men masturbate basically one way and thus women must be similar. I suspect men are more varied than that stereotype, but women are much, much, much more varied. Vibrators get a relatively large amount of attention, as does using fingers on one's clit. Using a dildo shows up way more in pop culture than its actual frequency in the masturbation habits of women I've known. Some people use water (like from one of those flexible shower heads). There are many options. The one that is by far the most common among women I've talked to shows up basically never in pop culture. The only example I can think of is in Secretary. That method is grinding on the corner of a pillow or the heel of your own hand or similar.

If what you're doing currently just isn't working, try a totally different method.

It sounds like you just aren't getting enough stimulation, but it could also be the opposite: stimulation that's much too strong can just make you feel kind of numb.

[dr-spectre]

also it's a random thing but I've realized people have been using brainwashed wrong too

Brainwashing has nothing to do with actually mind controlling people and has everything to do with propaganda. And being told it constantly

For context -

<- the actual definition of doing something

if we use this definition instead of how literally everyone uses it (ie. It's just a replacement for mind controlled)

Then honestly callie being "brainwashed" makes more logically sense if you treat the hypnoshades as consistently feeding her propaganda. It's not literally taking over her mind she's literally probably being played octavios music tbh

Because it's canonically a thing that octavio uses music for propaganda

TLDR: even by LITERAL INSISTENCE INKIPEDIA DEFINITIONS that she id "brainwashed and mind controlled", she can not be mind controlled. Realistically if Callie was brainwashed that means she was just fed propaganda about Octarian.

So people can't argue that she was forced into that outfit she wears in splatoon 2 still because she probably chose to wear it maybe as a strange solidarity idea. It's not about being forced to wear something... Like that. It's wearing a uniform.

Uh that tldr is too long:

Etldr: callie can't be mind controlled no matter how much people insist, brainwashing literally is about propaganda and not "oh no my memories are lost I can't feel ::((("

You literally cannot force her to not have autonomy no matter if it's "brainwashing vs hypnosis"

It's NOT MIND CONTROLLL 😭😭😭😭

o god this is super long

I actually got a comment that was VERY similar to this!!! Someone (I forgot who) said, "I'm gonna think of cult brainwashing instead of sci-fi brainwashing for callie for my own sanity."

From my knowledge, the term brainwashing has always been this general term to describe mind control plots and shit like that and people use it poorly and wrongly. And THAT'S where my anger comes from. Because people wanna make Callie's arc in Splatoon 2 way worse, more disgusting and less interesting. It's so SOOOOO annoying and disregards any sort of arc that Callie could go through....

The word is either used in cults, or military experiments, or family drama of "you're brainwashing my child!" Or sci fi lazy bullshit where it's just "mind control and you lose all of your autonomy and memories" aka Winter Soldier, Widowmaker, etc. It's such a general term that has a trillion different meanings and it's fucking frustrating as hell.

If I try to look at Callie’s story through the lens of "standard" brainwashing where it's just psychological manipulation and propaganda from the Octarians and Octavio, considering that he is known to use music and other things as motivation to boost Octarians.... then... I actually wouldn't have a problem with people using that word... maybe...

Because Callie STILL had some amount of agency and autonomy, even with the shades on, she couldn't have been forced to do anything against her will cause of how hypnosis works. She still heard out the Octarians and listened to their propaganda. Was Octavio still in the wrong? Yeah! DUHHHH!!! NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!!! HE MANIPULATED A MENTALLY ILL SQUID WOMAN!!! YOU THINK IM RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME?!?! FUCK NO!!! But in that scenario it's WAYYYY LESS EVIL than what the fuck people and Nintendo tried to suggest that they did. I dont wanna believe that Octavio immediately grabbed and then "brainwashed" Callie with the shades after she said "okay fine I'll hear you out." And then "kidnapped" her and her memories were wiped... Ugh. (Fucking Nintendo bro god I hate them...)

It would also help explain WHY she doesn't feel any sort of trauma or suffering from those events and why she finds the Octarians cute and why she went with Octavio to the Low Water party. She probably felt sorry for the Octarians and wanted to help them willingly because her life beforehand was shitty and she was alone... Octavio probably didn't need to do much to convince her, too, which is kinda sad... She probably doesn't feel regret or pain because, well, she was going through a rough period and she wanted an escape, so the Octarians, in her mind, were the only way out...

However.... I can't see that word the same anymore, and every time that I see it, I ALWAYS think of the bullshit sci-fi definition and people just LOVEEEE TO USE IT AS A CATCH ALL TERM!!!! IT'S REALLY REALLYYYYYY ANNOYING!!!!

That word has actually caused me physical reactions when I hear it, like I was in a family dinner and one of my parents used that word and like... I fucking tensed up and felt stinging across my entire body, my heart was pounding and stuff. NO THAT ISNT A JOKE! THATS HOW FIXATED I AM ON THE STUPID SQUID LADY!!!!

Idk if I will be able to comfortably use the word "brainwashing" to describe Hypno Callie because that word has been fully engrained to me as the sci fi. one, rather than the general cult one with more autonomy and more room to dive into depth and character change.

I guess you could say that Nintendo have... BRAINWASHED me into believing that the word is only used as a way to say mind control and "oh no I lost all of my memories!!!" Heh... Heh... eh.... I wanna die.

I fucking hate Nintendo bro. I hate them. So much.

Oh Nintendo, when I find you I swear to go-

[mostlysignssomeportents]

1900s futurism

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then SAN FRANCISCO (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

I'm profoundly skeptical of the idea that the future can be predicted, and doubly skeptical that sf writers are any kind of prophet. The former grotesque fatalism (if the future can be predicted, then what we do doesn't matter); the latter is tragicomic hubris.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/07/the-gernsback-continuum/#wheres-my-jetpack

That said, few people have been more consistently useful in understanding and anticipating (and yes, building) the future than my friend and colleague Karl Schroeder, whom I've known since I was 16 years old. Karl was the first person I heard say the world "internet." Also: "fractal," "World Wide Web," "ftp," and numerous other touchstones of the future just over the horizon.

Karl is, in fact, a futurist ("foresight consultant") who approaches the work with the same shrewd insight, wild imagination and humility that he brings to his fiction. In a new essay written with both his futurist and sf writer hats on, he nails down the toxic shadow cast by the 20th century sf, or, as he calls it, "The Science Fiction of the 1900s":

https://kschroeder.substack.com/p/the-science-fiction-of-the-1900s

Karl starts by describing the odd "double vision" of the future of the 1900s. On the one hand, many of us (myself included) were convinced that nuclear armageddon was inevitable. Unlike the unhinged architects of the nuclear arms-race, realists understood that a nuclear war would effectively end the future. As Einstein put it, "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

But the flipside of that certainty that the future would end with the first nuclear strike was the belief that if we could just somehow walk the tightrope over the chasm of nuclear holocaust, we'd emerge in a future worth looking forward to: "a new era of peace and prosperity for all."

Contrast that with the existential dread of today's polycrisis: environmental collapse and political decay up to and including fascism. These aren't the binary proposition of nuclear annihilation vs Utopia – rather, they're a continuum of worse-and-better outcomes of every description. As Karl writes: "It’s not that simple. Our future now is an exhausting spectrum of scenarios, each with its own promise, and its own problems."

For Karl, we have entered a new epoch, but we've dragged in the long-expired way of imagining (and hence creating and navigating) the future with us. What makes this a new epoch? For Karl, it's the kind of future on our horizon. He cites Charles C Mann’s 1491, a superb history of the Americas before Columbus:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/107178/1491-second-edition-by-charles-c-mann/9781400032051/readers-guide/

1491 radically reframes "the patchwork of propaganda and inference" that makes up the received narrative of the so-called "New World." It describes a land of flourishing cities, art, science and culture "in the Americas while Rome was just getting its act together." Contact with colonizing Europeans was a disaster for First Nations people, who call this period "The Invasion." It was an epochal break.

Futurism is an inextricably historical discipline. The willingness of some settler-colonialists states to consider this epochal break forces us to reframe our literal place in history, the story of the land under our feet. At its best, this futuro-historical work can begin the long work of reconciliation, as with the Canadian government's promise of $23b in reparations for the First Nations people who were kidnapped as children and sent to murderous "residential schools" before, during and after the Sixties Scoop.

The sf of the 1900s is no longer fit for purpose, if it ever was. It's a literature that was steered by open fascists like John W Campbell, who explicitly saw the literature as a means of inculcating a societal narrative of the triumph of white, corporate technocracy over all other forms of government:

https://locusmag.com/2019/11/cory-doctorow-jeannette-ng-was-right-john-w-campbell-was-a-fascist/

Karl isn't the first sf writer to try to overturn this orthodoxy – indeed, it was continuously challenged by radicals within the field, as with the New Wave, personified by the likes of Samuel Delany and Judith Merril (who both mentored and introduced Karl and me):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/13/better-to-have-loved/#neofuturians

The cyberpunks took a good hard run at it, too. For plenty of writers (including me), Bruce Sterling and William Gibson's 1981 story "The Gernsback Continuum" was a wake-up call:

http://writing2.richmond.edu/jessid/eng216/gernsback.pdf

Not for nothing, William Gibson has long insisted that his 1984 classic Neuromancer should be read as utopian: after all, it depicts a future in which the inevitable nuclear war only reduces a few cities to radioactive ash, sparing the rest of the planet.

Bruce Sterling once paid me the supreme compliment of describing a 2003 story I wrote about the ways that algorithms will enshittify self-driving cars as "making everybody else in the business look like they live in a dark basement growing on the mulch from old STAR TREK scripts":

https://craphound.com/stories/2005/10/12/human-readable/

Schroeder – along with today's new radical sf writer cohort – wants to fashion a fictional futurism that is fit for this world and its crisis: "in our modern technological society, science fiction tells us what to spend our time and money on." The fact that our mediocre billionaires are mired in the sf of the 1900s means that we're getting some decidedly old-fashioned futures.

For Karl, Musk is a poster-child for this profoundly conservative, backwards-looking vision: "He’s fighting the intellectual battles of the last century, a 1900s hero dropped into the 2000s with an unlimited budget to reshape the future to fit the era he’s from." Musk's obsessions – "Space flight. Settling Mars. Cyberpunk-style brain-computer interfaces. Artificial Intelligence. Self-driving electric cars. Humanoid robots." – are 1900s science fiction.

Ironically, much of this fiction labels itself "hard sf," despite the fact that interstellar travel is utter fantasy – as is mass-scale, near-term interplanetary civilization:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/09/astrobezzle/#send-robots-instead

Karl wants "a future for the 2000s." He points to some efforts to make this happen, like Neal Stephenson's Hieroglyph anthology, edited by Ed Finn and Kathryn Cramer:

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/hieroglyph-ed-finnkathryn-cramer

The "Hieroglyph" is Stephenson's shorthand for a recognizable, tangible, meme-able gizmo or other touchstone for a 2000s-era vision of the future – a replacement for jetpacks and flying cars. Karl's story for the anthology, "Degrees of Freedom," focuses on an abstraction (governance: "the single most important thing humanity can focus its creative energies on right now"), and by Karl's own admission, it's not quite the hieroglyph Stephenson was looking for.

But Karl did come up with a hieroglyph in a later work, the "deodands" of 2019's Stealing Worlds – a software agent "that believes it is some natural system, such as a river or forest, and acts in its own self-interest, that being the preservation and thriving of that natural system":

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/18/karl-schroeders-stealing-worlds-visionary-science-fiction-of-a-way-through-the-climate-and-inequality-crises/

(My own contribution to Hieroglyph was very gadget heavy – "The Man Who Sold the Moon," about autonomous lunar 3D printers. It won the Sturgeon Award):

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/05/22/the-man-who-sold-the-moon/

I've been impressed with Karl since the day I met him in 1987. There's no one whose thoughts on the future I'm more interested in hearing. I don't think that's a coincidence, either: Karl is an autodidact who was raised by a Mennonite TV repairman – the first TV repair shop in the Canadian prairies. If you want to understand the future, try being raised by someone who takes that kind of deliberate approach to which technology to adopt, and how.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/07/the-gernsback-continuum/#wheres-my-jetpack

[kayvsworld]

my roman empire is that i’m convinced there had to have been a second surgery during tony’s captivity. listen. listen. we don’t see it suddenly he just Has the arc reactor but ok. the electromagnet looks. fairly shallow. like we can see the bit that is the electromagnet and it’s in there a Little bit it’s not Fit Your Entire Hand In There like the casing for the reactor is later. there also isn’t an obvious like… casing around it. it’s just kind of Thing On There.

they had to fit the reactor in there somehow. likely had to make the existing,,,, space, deeper. i just… i’m obsessed with all the spaces during the captivity that we don’t see. did tony tell yinsen what he was doing? at what point did they have the discussion of how to get it in there? they had cameras! it must have been obvious at some point that whatever he was making was Not a bomb. especially when they got to having install it. and also “install” is. not a word that really conveys exactly what would have had to happen holy shit.

(also again, gotta be how stane knows about the reactor in the first place, right? the rings would have known about it and he was in contact with them. it wasn’t rhodey or pepper who told him.)

also. something i cannot stop thinking about. the “it could power your heart for a lifetime/or something big for 15 minutes” conversation and how that is one of Thee thrulines in both im1 and 2. tony consistently choosing to use the reactor in ways that make it more dangerous for him.

also. do you think that tony knew it would poison him. do you think even as he was making it and preparing to get it put in his chest he knew the palladium was going to be a problem. do you think he was always, from the second he woke up attached to a car battery, operating on the assumption that he was living on borrowed time?

i just. augh. AHHHH. im1 + 2 movies that make me INSANE

OH ONE HUNDRED PERCENT I AM ALWAYS SAYING THIS. YOURE RIGHT

the electromagnet was surface level. the reactor has Housing it has a big metal tunnel into his chest that pepper can stick her whole hand down to fish out an electromagnet and she has to play operation not to have the wire touch the casing on the way back out there is a Foundation Of Metal going on. also based on how it works there's definitely a pacemaker type of deal installed at some point here

guy has a titanium pringles can in his chest and it's got to be bolted into his ribcage so it doesn't move around like the first thing he and yinsen are drafting in that cave is 100% a solution for"how do we fit this thing into my chest without killing me" there just has to be a second surgery. and tony is NOT a doctor he is NOT a surgeon so yinsen's input is definitely needed here to make sure it also doesn't. like. kill him horribly god the cave sequence is grim

(obadiah knowing about the reactor from the 10 rings is both better and worse than finding out from rhodey thanks i'm pacing around the room)

raza doesn't look that surprised when he sees the reactor in tony's chest?? so i think we have to assume that at least Some conversation was had re: "listen the thing you want him to build is going to take longer than the week he has to live, the math does not check out, we have do to this one thing first" but like how tense was it buying that kind of time. i'm fine

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ REVISION BY KADIGAN......

also YEAH i DO think he knew as he was making it that the palladium was going to be a problem i think he started keeping tabs on it from the second he got home, iron man 1 and iron man 2 are just part 1 and part 2 of the same movie they're continuous they're back to back they're so good they make me insane

[duxbelisarius]

Back to the Dance Part One: Targaryen Law and Governance, 1 AC-129 AC

Welcome or welcome back to my blog! If you've not read through them yet, here are my Military Analysis of the Dance and my First Dornish War Analysis master posts! This is Part One of a rewrite/revision of the former series, but more on that below.

I wrote my 14 Part military analysis of the Dance a year or two ago following season one of House of the Dragon. The show got me back into the ASOIAF fandom and I had just read Fire and Blood, and wanted to do a critical analysis of what I believed were the flaws in how the war was written. If the response I got on Reddit, AO3, and here on Tumblr is any indication it seems to have been well received, but much has changed since I completed that series. HOTD Season 2 seems to have had a polarizing reception, but more importantly I've analyzed other events from Westerosi history like the Velaryon Blockade and the First Dornish War (Daeron's Conquest too!). Between researching and writing those analyses and receiving feedback from those following, I decided I needed to change my approach. Reading more secondary literature and even primary sources showed me that my conclusions in the Dance series needed serious revisions, and that there were areas I hadn't properly covered in the Dance which could give new perspectives. I also needed to find a better way to critique, since castigating the writer of a work can only go so far before it gets tedious, boring, and distasteful. I'm more than a year older now and wiser I hope, and intend to apply my experience and further research to create a more detailed, informative, and hopefully constructive analysis of the Dance of the Dragons.

For those of you unfamiliar with my Velaryon Blockade and Dornish Wars series linked above, my approach consists of analyzing aspects of the event/subject in question to identify issues in the writing and worldbuilding, after which I offer a 'fix-it' section to show how the scenario could be mostly if not completely retained with revisions. The 'theme' of my Dorne series which will be carried over into this one is that of scale and managing it: as should be well known in the fandom, George has problems identifying and judging scale which stem partly from his wanting things to be bigger and more grand in his fantasy setting. I believe this scale problem can be tied to issues of perspective more broadly, stemming from his self-described 'gardener' style of writing as opposed to being an 'architect.' George has talked about how most writers have elements of both in their approach to writing but will tend towards one extreme or the other, and George is very clearly in the 'gardener' camp. This seems to consist of keeping a general idea of the progress and end point of a story in mind while otherwise writing the story more from the ground up, with 'pruning' and 'uprooting' taking place as needed while still allowing for a return to those ideas or concepts that were excised later in the plot. This process gave us ASOIAF as we know it, so I can hardly dismiss it's effectiveness, but when it comes to TWOIAF, F&B, and the short stories that were incorporated into the former two works, the faux history premise he set out with clashes with this 'gardener' style.

In George's faux histories, the POV characters that he uses so effectively to tell his stories become historians or chroniclers writing an account of events based on sources, which already give them a sense of where the 'story' is headed and how events will unfold. I believe this creates an unfortunate tendency to treat the characters featured in these narratives as mere plot devices, tasked simply with moving events in their predetermined direction without adequately developing their motivations or reasoning for taking those actions. The result is that many of these characters act in ways that cannot be justified on a Watsonian basis, ie why did the character act this way in their world, leading the reader to look for a Doylistic justification, ie why did the writer need this character to act this way, which breaks immersion and pulls us out of the story. At it's worst the writing becomes narrowly focused on progressing the plot from point A to point B, leading characters to display ignorance and a lack of perspective of their own setting and surroundings in pursuit of the pre-determined outcome.

The piecemeal nature of the Dance narrative plays into this unfortunate tendency, since the final product as portrayed in F&B is an amalgamation of different works: The Rogue Prince, The Princess and The Queen, and segments of TWOIAF that have been fleshed out and expanded upon such as Aegon II's short reign and the regency of Aegon III. Events and characters appear in one part of the narrative that are not accounted for by another while the implications of one action or character's presence are never acknowledged or realized. This is perhaps the biggest downside of the 'gardener' approach: a lack of perspective resulting from a story being built from the ground up with a limited viewpoint in mind, leading to the implications or magnitude of an event or action appearing vastly understated or underwhelming if they are even acknowledged at all. If I could take back anything from the first analysis it would be my harsh treatment of George, when it's clear that his editors, proofreaders, and other aides did him no favours in compiling the narrative of the Dance.

While there are still areas of the Dance which are fundamentally flawed outside how the narrative was edited together, I hope to demonstrate that with some revisions and a more concerted effort to tie the strands of the plot together, the Dance could have been a much better story and served George's purposes more effectively. Doing this will require a much more detailed approach to account for different aspects of the Dance; the Dorne series was twice as many words as the Dance analysis despite having half as many chapters, and F&B devotes only 10 pages to the First Dornish War versus over 200 to the Dance! Expect this series to be a long one, as I've got a lot more to say than I did before; without further ado, once more unto the breach!

Although this series will still maintain a significant focus on the military aspects of the Dance, seeing as how it was a war, Part One is concerned with the political origins of the conflict in the succession crises of Jaehaerys and Viserys. My aim is to paint as comprehensive a picture as possible of how Targaryen government and law functioned in the lead up to the Dance, making the fairly disparate information we're given by the books accessible to the reader and to illustrate why the Dance came about as a failure of governance. This is important since it directly affects our perception of how the great houses of Westeros responded to the beginning of the Dance and whether or not George was able to effectively develop that perspective. Do we get the sense that the characters of the Targaryen court and their contemporaries appreciated the stakes involved in the build up to the Dance, or are their responses conditioned by what the writer demands for the plot?

Analyzing Targaryen government requires us to start with the Conquest itself to get a sense of how Targaryen authority was established based on what we're told and can reasonably infer. The first step in establishing Targaryen authority over the Seven Kingdoms is one which we know surprisingly little about in George's writing, that being the creation of the Crownlands. We know from TWOIAF and F&B that Aegon requested the lands that became the Kingswood alongside Massey's Hook and the lands east of the God's Eye to the shore of Blackwater Bay in return for his allying with Argillac Durrandon, and these lands end up becoming the territory of the Crownlands. We have little else about how they were created exactly and how they were governed, and what little there is requires some digging outside of the faux histories. The Mystery Knight actually gives us the best glimpse into how the Crownlands are organized:

From Maidenpool had come Lord Mooton, from Raventree Lord Blackwood, from Duskendale Lord Darklyn. The royal demenses about King's Landing sent forth Hayfords, Rosbys, Stokeworths, Masseys, and the king's own sworn swords, led by three knights of the Kingsguard and stiffened by three hundred Raven's Teeth with tall white weirwood bows. (A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, 348-349)

Although this quote refers to events taking place centuries after the Conquest, the outline it gives us is consistent with the 'high school textbook' style of feudalism in George's series. Excluding Maidenpool and the other Riverlords involved in Bloodraven's army, we have the Darklyns of Duskendale whose lands are in the Crownlands but who appear to have marshalled their own forces. We then have the 'royal demenses' about King's Landing which include the Houses Hayford, Rosby, Massey, and Stokeworth, followed by the Targaryen sworn swords led by the Kingsguard. Demesne is an Old French title for lands directly controlled by the lord of a manor, and was brought to England after the Norman Conquest when the feudal structures of Normandy began to be implemented across the Channel. We can reasonably infer a hierarchy from this passage within the Crownlands, with the Targaryens at the top as would be expected, followed by the Darklyns and other lords who are sworn directly to the Targaryens but appear to possess their own demenses, followed by the Hayfords et al who appear to be tenants that have ceded their demenses legally to House Targaryen but still administer those lands on their behalf, with the sworn swords at the very bottom likely being governed directly by the Targaryens on the land immediately surrounding King's Landing.

The picture which emerges suggests that the Crownlands northwest and north of the Rosby road possess their own demenses, including Darklyn, Celtigar, Velaryon, and the houses of Crackclaw Point, while the rest of the Crownlands along the coastline of Blackwater Bay is the Targaryen demense including Dragonstone. Significant also is the fact that the Crownlands mainly encompassed territories that were disputed between the River Kings, Hoares, Durrandons, and Gardeners rather than territories that those kings had ruled consistently such as Tumbleton, Maidenpool, or Felwood. the Targaryens carved out their houses' own kingdom and did not annex large swaths of their new vassals territory, instead establishing a more or less stereotypical feudal monarchy, the government of which only reinforces this impression.

F&B makes it clear that Aegon did not seek to fundamentally overturn the existing norms and structures of the newly subjugated kingdoms:

Each of the conquered kingdoms had its own laws and traditions. King Aegon did little to interfere with those. He allowed his lords to continue to rule much as they always had, with all the same powers and prerogatives. The laws of inheritance and succession remained unchanged, the existing feudal structures were confirmed, both lords great and small retained the power of pit and gallows on their own land, and the privilege of the first night wherever that custom had formerly prevailed. (F&B, 42)

Aegon was recognized as the final authority in the realm, although he relied upon Rhaenys, Visenya, and his small council for day-to-day governance, since he spent half the year touring the kingdoms with his court including one of his queens and half a dozen maesters. These visits were clearly important for the Targaryens since they allowed Aegon to be seen by his subjects and to establish relationships and network with his vassal lords, having spent most of the Conquest itself campaigning in the Riverlands-Blackwater Bay region. The fact he was accompanied by maesters to inform him about local laws and custom also indicates he sought to be accommodating to his vassals and respect their authority, as it could have been easy enough for Aegon and his queens to travel simply using their dragons. Traveling with their court indicates that they governed through their advisors and vassals rather than imposing their authority arbitrarily as individuals, and this is in keeping with the feudal nature of the Targaryen monarchy.

Much like the creation of the Crownlands, the structure of the royal government itself requires us to do some digging in order to determine how it functioned. We know Aegon appointed Masters of Law, Coin, and Ships as advisors from the outset and established the post which came to be known as the Hand of the King; he later established the post of Grand Maester, and also sought the advice of the Grand Septon and other members of the Faith regularly. When Jaehaerys arrived in King's Landing following Maegor's death, we're told he had the King's Justice, Lord Confessor, and Chief Gaoler confined to the Black Cells, and with the end of Rogar Baratheon and Queen Alyssa's Regency we know he replaced a collection of lesser offices: the Keeper of the Keys, the chief steward of the Red Keep and his under stewards, the harbormaster of King's Landing, the Warden of the King's Mint, and the King's Justice among others. Tyrion IV of ACOK also gives us a list of royal officials and positions answerable to the Master of Coin:

The Keepers of the Keys were his, all four. The King's Counter and the King's Scales were men he'd named. The officers in charge of all three mints. Harbormasters, tax farmers, customs sergeants, wool factors, toll collectors, pursers, wine factors; nine of every ten belonged to Littlefinger.

We'll discuss the Master of Laws when we cover the legal system, but we know that the King's Justice, Lord Confessor, and Chief Gaoler are responsible for executions, interrogation/torture, and incarceration respectively. All the other offices mentioned are administrative posts concerned with the King's own authority or with collecting revenues owed to the Crown. Master of Ships is concerned with the Royal Fleet and may have some oversight of the Celtigar and Velaryon Fleets since they are also pledged to House Targaryen; Harbormaster and Purser are both connected to naval affairs despite coming under the Master of Coin's authority, the former office being responsible for overseeing the operations of King's Landing's port facilities while the latter is likely based off an Anglo-Norman office that was responsible for the financial upkeep and personnel management of royal naval vessels.

The rest of the offices mentioned above are concerned with fiscal matters: Tax farmers, customs sergeants, and toll collectors are responsible for collecting royal revenues through tax collecting, tariffs and duties on foreign goods, and use of public roads respectively. Wool and wine factors are wholesalers who deal in textiles and wine as their titles suggest, but their function is unclear; they could be responsible for selling textiles and wine that the Crown possesses through in-kind taxation, splitting the profit between themselves and the government, or they may be obtaining textiles and wine for the Royal Household's consumption and obtaining financial information in the process that the Crown can utilize for levying taxes. Keeper of the Keys, Warden of the King's Mint, King's Counter and Scales are likely connected to the Royal Treasury the Keeper of the Keys being responsible for accessing the treasury vaults and coffers, Counter and Scales being responsible for valuing their contents, and the Warden of the King's Mints is presumably in charge of supplying royal coinage and would have some connection to Westerosi mines which supply the precious metals. While most of these titles come to us via Tyrion's POV, I don't see any reason to doubt that royal finances were handled similarly in the days of Aegon and his successors; by comparing Tyrion's POV with F&B we know that the Keeper of the Keys has gone from one position to four between the reigns of Jaehaerys and Joffrey Baratheon, and there are now three royal mints instead of one.

The importance of Masters of Coin like Edwell Celtigar and Rego Draz post-Aegon suggests that fiscal unification was begun if not well under way by the time of Aegon's death. This makes sense given that Aegon was establishing his house at the top of the new feudal hierarchy of Westeros, and would have needed to collect his incomes in order to further establish his authority and that of his house over his new vassals. The existence of the Master of Coin and the rest of the Small Council does indicate that the approach of the Targaryen monarchy was to formulate policy with the council's aid and with respect to their vassals. Even when this wasn't the case as with Celtigar's taxes, the feudal tax system of the Seven Kingdoms was such that many lords avoided paying these taxes altogether, illustrating a need for the consent of the vassals in order to rule effectively.

This need for some degree of consent and the use of the council to govern is best demonstrated by the evolution of the Targaryen legal system, although we first should clarify what the monarchy's powers were. F&B gives us a clear indication of this in its discussion of 'Queen Alysanne's Laws,' where Gyldan states that unlike Rhaenys or Visenya, Alysanne did not have the power to "enact laws, issue decrees, make proclamations, or pass sentences." Passing sentences and enacting laws are relatively straightforward concepts to grasp, since we have examples of both in F&B: The Rule of Six and the Widow's Law. In the case of Rhaenys' Rule of Six, a dispute was brought before the court involving a dead woman's husband and her two brothers, the latter accusing the former of having 'chastized' (ie beaten) her excessively for adultery and causing her death. We're told that Rhaenys consulted with maesters and representatives of the Faith before passing sentence, establishing a precedent that became part of the common law (more on that later). We can clearly see a form of legal process being used and counsel solicited, and this is also at work in the enactment of laws such as the Widow's Law. Widow's Law did not come about arbitrary but through Alysanne's 'women's courts,' which provided her with information about the plight of widows throughout the Seven Kingdoms which she subsequently used to persuade Jaehaerys of the need for laws to protect them, which he then promulgated (again, more on this later).

Issuing decrees and making proclamations are more difficult to get a handle on; search of Ice and Fire turns up only two uses of the word 'proclamation,' while 'decree' and 'proclaim' are heavily used in a more colloquial sense which complicates determining their legal usage. We can say that they differ from laws which are enacted as opposed to issued or simply 'made,' while 'A Question of Succession' in F&B lists them alongside court documents as records available to the historian or chronicler, indicating they are not simply verbal orders or commands by the monarch but are written documents. Regarding decrees, Sansa V of AGOT gives us clues as to how decrees function as Joffrey orders Pycelle to "read" his decrees (confirming them as documents), while Pycelle concludes each reading with "So the king has decreed. The small council consents." When Kevan Lannister reads out Joffrey's decrees in Sansa VIII of ACOK, he also concludes with "To all this, the King's Hand and the small council consent." In ASOIAF we see royal decrees made to appoint new members of the small council, grant new titles as rewards from the crown, legitimize bastards (which can only be done by royal decree), and order punishments such as the loss of a limb used to strike a member of royalty as referenced in The Hedge Knight.

F&B offers some other examples which I believe get us closer to the role and power of a decree via the reigns of Aegon, Maegor, and Jaehaerys. We know that Aegon allowed his vassals to keep much of their old powers and prerogatives, but he was also able to issue decrees regularizing customs, duties, and taxes which was previously in the hands of the lords themselves. He also issued a decree establishing the King's Peace, making it illegal to conduct warfare without the king's permission and obligating vassals to abide by the adjudication of their liege lords in disputes. We then have Maegor's decrees referred to in ASOIAF as "Maegor's Laws," which punished and disarmed the Faith Militant for taking up arms against the Crown, although F&B credits Maegor's new High Septon with actually dissolving the Warrior's Sons and the Poor Fellows. Finally, we have Jaehaerys' decree recognizing Baelon as his heir in 92 AC, which was made after consulting with his small council and especially Septon Barth, although Alysanne dissented. Based on these examples and the information we have from the books, I believe that issuing a decree is how a king exercises their power and prerogatives which they possess via the law or laws of the land. Decrees are formulated and drafted with the aid of the small council to ensure their consent to it's contents, but do not appear to have the same force as an enacted law. Maegor was not enacting new laws but was punishing the Faith Militant as their actions were objective violations of the King's Peace, nor were they acting on behalf of the legitimate claimant Aegon the Uncrowned. Likewise, Aegon was using his own powers to ensure the economic unity of his new realm, while Jaehaerys was clarifying the status of his new heir under the law.

Based on evidence from F&B and the other books, making proclamations appears to serve a different purpose than issuing decrees. Thus in F&B we have Aegon proclaiming the Faith to be exempt from taxes with the power to try their own members in their courts; TWOIAF speaks of Jaehaerys' proclamation as rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms at Storm's End, with F&B crediting Rogar Baratheon with proclaiming him king; while Jaime Lannister and Lord Crakehall exchange words over who shall proclaim a new king and whom it shall be in the throne room following Aerys' death in Jaime II of ASOS. Proclamations appear to be a way for the king to make announcements to the realm as a whole with the added legitimacy granted by the monarch's own voice; they can serve a legal purpose of drawing attention to an action being taken, whether proclaiming the succession a new king or official acknowledgement of an heir, which appears to be consistent with how proclamations are defined under English law.

Now that we've got a rough idea of the legal powers of the Targaryen monarchy pre-Dance and how that power was expected to be wielded, we can get into how that legal system evolved. As previously mentioned, Aegon kept the laws and customs of the Seven Kingdoms largely the same after the Conquest, hence why he brought maesters with him on his progresses who were knowledgeable in local laws and customs. The lords were made responsible for settling disputes and adjudicating within their own territories, while F&B states that Aegon was responsible for adjudicating disputes between the kingdoms. F&B and TWOIAF may unintentionally provide us some evidence of the workings of this pluralistic legal system via the Rule of Six and Widow's Law. F&B states that the Rule of Six became a part of the common law from that day onward, while TWOIAF says the Rule of Six is "now part of the common law;" since the Seven Kingdoms did not possess a single common law before Jaehaerys' Book of Laws, this suggests that the Crownlands possessed their own common law separate from the individual kingdoms. This helps to explain why Jaehaerys is described as promulgating the Widow's Law in 52 AC, prior to his codification project: to promulgate means to promote or make widely known, although it can mean to make known a law or enforce it, andf he would have had to promulgate the law if he wanted his vassals to adopt similar laws in their own jurisdictions. This is both interesting and unfortunate from a world building perspective, since we have no idea what formed the basis of these laws: did it use Dragonstone's laws? Were they derived from Riverlord laws, and did Stormlands and Ironborn law have any influences?

With the political and fiscal unification of the Seven Kingdoms already well advanced by 48 AC, it was under the new king Jaehaerys that the Seven Kingdoms were legally unified. We're never given a date for when the new code was completed, but the evidence is unanimous that it was completed while he was king. F&B calls the Book of Laws Jaehaerys' greatest achievement while TWOIAF credits him with giving the realm a single set of laws. The process of researching the laws of the individual kingdoms began in 55 AC and was completed two years later, while the actual codification was said to have taken decades. F&B refers to the code as the Great Code of Septon Barth and heavily credits him with the completion of the Book, so the Book of Laws was most likely completed between 67 and 98 AC or a decade after the research was complete but prior to his death. The research phase is also significant as it clearly indicates that written laws were available to be researched, from the kingdoms themselves and/or the records of the Citadel; this is important because codification refers not to the writing down of laws but the organizing of laws according to a system or plan. No one would seriously suggest that the Roman Empire and it's predecessors lacked written laws prior to the Theodosian Code and Justinian's Corpus Juris Civilis, rather its constitutions and sets of laws had not been brought together systematically despite past attempts.

Creating a single code for the Seven Kingdoms would certainly have increased the power of the monarchy, now that a Targaryen ruler could enact laws and pass sentences which would have direct influence over all of the kingdoms. Nonetheless, the lengthy codification process indicates that a serious effort was made to reflect the traditions of all the kingdoms by consulting their laws during the process rather than simply grafting some of the laws onto the common law as it existed in the Crownlands. We can safely assume that the Lords Paramount were aware of this project and broadly supported it in light of the two years spent by Jaehaerys and his "smaller council" of Alysanne, Barth, Grand Maester Benifer, and Master of Laws Albin Massey collecting and researching all these laws. As we said regarding the tax system, consent of one's vassals would still have been important for enforcing the new code since it fell to the lords and their lieges across the kingdoms to apply it and adjudicate in the absence of the king. With that being said, establishing the broad strokes of Targaryen government, law, and their functions now allows us to assess the lead up to the Dance.

One of the first issues with discussing the origins of the Dance is the way in which the decision of 92 AC is made out to be less straightforward than it objectively was. While Prince Aemon was the Prince of Dragonstone and heir apparent to Jaehaerys at his death in 92 AC, we have no indication that the title of Prince of Dragonstone was deemed hereditary and could pass on the position of heir to his own children. To use a historical example, Edward III was succeeded by Richard II, the son and heir of Edward the Black Prince, Edward III's eldest son and heir apparent who pre-deceased his father. This put Richard II ahead of Edward III's other surviving son John of Gaunt, but this was the result of letters patent that the king had issued before his death rather than the operation of the law. On the other hand, the decision of 92 AC did not deviate from male-preference primogeniture, favouring Jaehaerys' surviving and eligible son Baelon over Rhaenys who was the king's granddaughter via Aemon. This is also how the succession was determined during Robert's Rebellion, as following Rhaegar's death his younger brother Viserys became the heir over Rhaegar's son Aegon. Nonetheless, "A Question of Succession" seems confused over this idea:

If the precedent set by the Great Council of 101 was followed, a male claimant must prevail over a female. In the absence of a trueborn son, the king's brother would come before the king's daughter, as Baelon had come before Rhaenys in 92 AC. (F&B, 358)

This seems to be George's lack of perspective creeping in, as it should not have mattered in 92 AC if Rhaenys had been born a boy or a girl; Baelon was the king's son and not his grandchild, so the succession passing to him was the correct decision.

It is to the Council of 101 that we ought to look for where things went wrong with the Targaryen succession, as it resulted in serious breeches of legal precedent by the king and his vassals. Owing to Baelon's death in 101 AC, Vaegon Targaryen's refusal to foreswear his maester's vows, and Jaehaerys' only surviving daughter Saera being disgraced and in exile, the king was left with no heir to succeed him. The choice was between the heirs of the heirs, with Viserys son of Baelon on one side and Rhaenys daughter of Aemon on the other with her children Laena and Laenor Velaryon. F&B makes it clear that those who spoke out against Rhaenys' and Laena's claims outnumbered those who spoke in their favour 20:1, but that Laenor's claim from his grandfather via his mother was deemed valid enough for the succession to be decided by a majority vote between himself and Viserys. More importantly, we know of legal precedents from Westerosi history that should have had bearing on the decisions of Jaehaerys and the Great Council, those of Joffrey Lydden and Mern VI Gardener. TWOIAF tells us that Joffrey Lydden became the first Andal King of the Rock after Gerold III Lannister died without male issue; in this case a council crowned Lydden king as the husband of Gerold's only daughter, but he was required to take his wife's family name with his claim deriving from his marriage to her, even though she was not made queen.

In the case of Mern VI Gardener, his predecessor Garth X also died with no male issue; his two daughters were married to Lord Peake and Lord Manderly respectively, and the idea of a woman succeeding was not the issue here but whether the Peakes or the Manderlys should be the ones to have their claimant sit the throne. The ensuing conflict nearly tore the Reach asunder until Ser Osmund Tyrell, the Andal Steward of Highgarden, rallied House Gardener's other bannermen to defeat both factions and place Garth's second cousin Mern on the throne as Mern VI. In this case, Garth's daughters clearly had better claims that Mern but he was chosen so as to reward neither of the warring factions for having brought ruin upon the Gardener kingdom. Mern's presence also means that there were male relatives in Garth's family at the time of his death, whereas this seems not to have been the case explicitly when Gerold III died. It appears that Garth X having male relatives would ensure that the male line of the family would continue even if a daughter held the throne, whereas the council that chose Joffrey Lydden seems to have created a new male line for the Lannisters as it would otherwise have died out with Gerold III.

This is important for assessing Jaehaerys and the Council of 101's decisions, since these historical cases clearly show that the First Men and Andals were willing to contemplate female rulership under certain circumstances. F&B also gives us examples of ladies governing great houses under the Targaryens despite the misogyny inherent in male-preference primogeniture laws, such as Jeyne Arryn during the Dance and Ellyn Caron during the rebellion of the First Vulture King. It can also be argued that Jaehaerys and even Alysanne helped the 101 dispute become the crisis it was, firstly by failing to find suitable matches for Saera, Viserra, Gael, and Daella Targaryen. This is an indictment of both Jaehaerys and Alysanne, as the matches were inferior (either men from lesser houses or far older men who already had heirs) and failed to produce Targaryen relatives in positions of power throughout the realm. This in turn meant that there was no Mern VI-style candidate who could have been selected in place of the two quarreling parties to avoid favouring one faction over the other, while also meaning there were no family ties that Jaehaerys could leverage among the great houses to de-escalate the situation, ensuring that Jaehaerys' vassals flocked to one claimant or the other, leading to division and near war.

The other way in which Jaehaerys and Alysanne helped create the crisis of 101 AC, although in this case Alysanne was long dead, is that the historical cases discussed again show that inheritance through a female line was not so great an obstacle provided some 'finessing' was done. Rhaenys' and Laena's claims might still have been set aside, but in light of Rhaenyra's later betrothal to Laenor to strengthen her claim this should have been the obvious solution for Jaehaerys. He could have declared Laenor his heir on the condition that he took his mother's family name as monarch, and that the 3-4 year old Rhaenyra would be betrothed to the 6-7 year old Laenor to unite Rhaenys and Viserys claims. A further step could have been to make Rhaenys, Corlys, Viserys, and Aemma responsible for setting up a regency council along with Jaehaerys, to help govern the realm once the king died and until Laenor came of age. This solution would have been in keeping with past legal precedent and would have offered both parties a measure of satisfaction, while allowing Jaehaerys to assert his authority as king and the final authority over the realm. Instead he abdicated his role and took the out that Vaegon offered him by leaving it up to his vassals to decide, leading to a result that both upended the existing laws of Westeros and laid the seeds of future discord, with Jaehaerys effectively handing the realm a poisoned chalice through his death.

The problem moving from 101 to Rhaenyra's succession and the Dance itself is that while George's handling of the succession issues in 92 and 101 is somewhat shaky, his handling of Rhaenyra and the Dance crisis is suspect. It doesn't help that George's own comments in Hollywood Spotlight Magazine suggest his grasp of male-preference primogeniture is tenuous at best:

Would it have made a difference if Rhaenyra and Aegon were full siblings, only a year apart? If they were full siblings, regardless of age, the son have inherited rather than the daughter. I had to make it more complicated than that. Two children by different mothers, different wives? First wife and second wife? I always look to history for inspiration, and if you look at Henry VIII and his six wives, he had a daughter by his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, and that was Mary Tudor, Queen Mary I. And then he had a daughter by his second wife, Anne Boleyn, and that was Queen Elizabeth. Then by the third wife, Jane Seymour, he finally had a son, Edward VI. He was third in line, but he was the first to become king. History is full of these kinds of conflicts.

Just so we're clear, Henry VIII's line of succession was fairly straightforward at his death. While there was some controversy over Mary being his daughter from an annulled marriage, once he died his crown passed to his only son Edward as expected. Edward's death without issue saw the crown pass to Henry's eldest daughter Mary, and her death without issue saw the crown pass to Henry's only surviving legitimate child, Elizabeth. This line of succession is not unclear or confused from the perspective of male-preference primogeniture, it's George's perspective or lack thereof which is at fault here.

This questionable perspective is where the issue lies, as we quoted F&B earlier on the subject of how 92 and 101 AC were seen as obstacles to Rhaenyra's claim versus Daemon, when they should not have been. 92 AC was the king choosing between his son and his granddaughter, 101 was a contest between his grandson, granddaughter, and great grandchildren via said granddaughter. 92 AC favoured the king's child while 101 was an issue because the king had no children able to succeed him, but Viserys has no such issues aside from the plot making it appear so. Given that the decrees of the council are just that, decrees and not enacted laws, it makes no sense why they should have applications to situations which are not at all analogous. We also have proof from the narrative itself that this is not the case: "The Blacks and the Greens" suggests that Jeyne Arryn might not be disposed to support Aegon since his claim against Rhaenyra might call into question her own claim, but this would have been a far greater issue decades ago had this been the case. We know that Yorbort Royce attended the Great Council on behalf of Jeyne as her regent and protector, and she tells Jace that her cousin Ser Arnold Arryn sought to replace her three times in the past. Viserys and Daemon are also tied to the Arryns and Royces by marriage since 93 and 97 AC respectively; if the 101 decrees were truly so far reaching and favoured the male claimant over the female in all circumstances, Jeyne's continued status as Lady of the Vale would have been a threat to Viserys' rule. We also have to think that Daemon would have seized on House Royce's support of her as reason to have his hated marriage to Rhea Royce annulled; the best answer in-world is that the Council's precedent is nowhere near as far reaching as is suggested.

The plot of the Dance is further hampered for reasons which I discussed in Part One of the first series: based on the inheritance laws of the Seven Kingdoms, Rhaenyra has no claim to the Iron Throne as of Aegon II's birth. Declaring her the heir made complete sense after Aemma's death and to fortify her claim with oaths, especially given how clearly unfit Daemon was to rule. However, Viserys unwillingness to declare an heir while Aemma was alive and able to bear children clearly shows he was aware of how the law worked, and I must stress law. Elio Garcia claimed in a 2015 Forum of Ice and Fire post that primogeniture is "customary, but not binding" in the Seven Kingdoms, and yet F&B which was published in 2018 clearly gives lie to this assertion. Aside from Aegon confirming the laws of inheritance and succession of the realm, as Maester Gawen reminded Maegor when he usurped the throne from Aegon the Uncrowned, Rogar Baratheon also reminds those arguing for Rhaena over Jaehaerys in 48 AC that "this is not Dorne, and Rhaena is not Nymeria." "A Question of Succession" reminds us that it was Aegon and not Visenya who was the first ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, and then there's the fact that by 98 AC at least, all of those inheritance and succession laws have been brought together in a single legal code, the Book of Laws. This would include the Widow's Law, which affirmed the right of the eldest son to succeed, with daughters only being able to inherit if there was no son to do so. It also made it illegal to disinherit the child of one marriage for the wife and children of another, but this clearly means taking from one son to give to another or from one daughter to another since putting a daughter from one marriage before the eldest son by another wife would contradict the law itself.

By the time of Aegon II's birth, male-preference primogeniture is well established as the law of the land, but Rhaenyra's claim was secure so long as Viserys had no sons. With not one but three sons born to Alicent, Rhaenyra's claim is supported only through Viserys' ignorance of the law and his failure to govern. For starters, if Rhaenyra's claim can be placed before those of her own blood brothers, then how do the decrees of the Great Council of 101 have any legal basis whatsoever? What is the justification for favouring a king's grandson over his granddaughter, great granddaughter, and great grandson when a king can elevate his daughter above his own sons? Unsurprisingly, these implications are never even considered since the decision of 92 AC and the Council of 101 are only ever brought up as justifications for Aegon II's claim, not that they (the latter at least) form the legal basis of Viserys' own reign and that he is undermining his own legitimacy. Yet Viserys only compounds his error in ignoring the law by refusing to govern: he never calls on the lords of the realm to renew their oath to Rhaenyra despite her now having brothers; he never issues a proclamation to clarify his intentions before the realm; he enacts no law(s) with regards to the Targaryen succession to secure Rhaenyra's claim; nor does he issue any decrees either cementing Rhaenyra's position or removing Alicent and her children from the line of succession.

This situation is made even worse when we consider the wider context of Viserys' reign and the fact that he is threatening a succession crisis by not clarifying his intentions and ignoring his council. No one points out to him that there has not been a seamless succession to the Iron Throne since Aenys succeeded Aegon, as Maegor usurped Aegon the Uncrowned, Jaehaerys overthrew Maegor, and Viserys was made heir by a majority vote of lords of the realm which was subsequently recognized by Jaehaerys. By ignoring the law, Viserys is only guaranteeing that this lack of stability will continue after his death, while the message he sends to the realm by his treatment of Alicent and her children is also disastrous. After all, the Hightowers are not just one of the most wealthy and influential families on the continent, they have also been strong supporters of the monarchy since the conquest. Alicent is now the second Hightower consort to be treated with disdain despite her marrying into the royal family, and with the exception of Rhaena, a trend begun by Maegor is effectively continuing through Viserys by disrespecting his non-Valyrian consort. What message does this send to the rest of the realm that the Targaryens insist on incestuous marriages or marriage with cousins and their Valyrian vassals, while their treatment of even their greatest supporters is contemptuous when it comes to non-Valyrian matches?

Alicent's treatment is also important because it suggests a more sinister side to Viserys' character, aside from his horrific treatment of Aemma Arryn of course. It's unthinkable that Corlys Velaryon would allow Laena and her potential children by Viserys to be disregarded or that Rhaenys would tolerate further insult from her cousin were that the situation. This alone may explain the Hightower match since F&B claims there were murmurs that Otto had desired and sought the match, but only Grand Maester Runciter's suggestion of Laena is explicitly stated in the text. While a member of House Hightower, Otto was also a second son whose power stemmed entirely from being Hand of the King, a position he could lose if the king so chose. As a knight he also lacked the personal wealth and 'hard power' of a Corlys Velaryon, while Oldtown being much farther away from King's Landing than Driftmark means Viserys could get away with more against Alicent than if he married Laena. F&B describes Viserys as amiable and not strong willed and reliant and his council for decision-making, but in the case of the Alicent match "His Grace had his own notion, and no amount of argument would sway him from his course."

It's hard not to see sinister intentions in Viserys' actions, that behind the affable, weak-willed man was a deeply insecure, almost calculating individual who utilized uncertainties and grey areas in any situation to exercise power over others. It would certainly explain why he calls Alicent's children "her blood" despite being their father, while allegedly threatening to make Aegon his heir in order to compel Rhaenyra to marry Laenor. With the exception of Daeron and Tessarion being sent to Oldtown, Alicent's other children are essentially at Viserys and Rhaenyra's mercy; Aegon and Helaena's marriage means they cannot seek allies in other houses or obtain outside income, making them and Aemond entirely reliant on Viserys and his heir for their future livelihood, while the presence of Alicent's children and their dragons also means that Rhaenyra must cleave to her father to maintain her status as heir apparent and secure her own future. From this perspective, Viserys comes off not as a well-meaning, weak-willed king forever mourning the loss of his beloved Aemma as HOTD chose to depict him, but as an abuser and manipulator seeking to maintain his power at all costs. This perspective is not entertained by the narrative however, and subsequent events show little concern for how the rest of the realm might perceive the failed governance of the King.

The disputed parentage of Rhaenyra's three eldest children is the best illustration of the failure of Targaryen government prior to the Dance, and the absence of any kind of response from the kingdoms as a whole. HOTD confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jace, Luke, and Joff were bastards, but the evidence in the books is already overwhelming: Rhaenys children Laena and Laenor show no Baratheon colouring in their hair or eyes (despite Orys Baratheon being a Targaryen bastard), and neither of Laena and Daemon's daughters are anything but typical Valyrians in appearance; Rhaenyra is conventionally Valyrian by all accounts despite her mother's Arryn heritage, and Viserys children by Alicent are likewise despite their mother being a Hightower. Yet when Rhaenyra marries Laenor, a known homosexual who she was forced to marry, and leaves court for Dragonstone in the company of her sworn sword Harwin Strong, all three of her children with "Laenor" look nothing like their parents and are dead ringers for Harwin Strong. This situation suddenly changes after Laenor and Harwin die and Rhaenyra elopes with her uncle and rumored past lover Daemon, whereupon she has two more sons who are conventionally Valyrian in their looks.

This situation means that in addition to becoming king through objectively flawed and bad-faith means, in addition to undermining his authority and Westerosi laws by placing his daughter above his sons as heir, in addition to refusing to use his powers to clarify the situation, and in addition to disrespecting one of House Targaryen's most important vassals, Viserys is allowing his daughter to flaunt the law by claiming her bastards are true born and placing them in the line of succession, while sitting by and allowing her to humiliate another steadfast supporter of House Targaryen in House Velaryon. Despite all of this, the only real blowback from the realm itself comes from Vaemond Velaryon, Corlys' nephew in the books, and his five cousins (the future 'Silent Five'). Corlys takes ill in 127 AC and members of his house gather at Driftmark to discuss the potential succession, with Rhaenyra requesting that Lucerys be made heir to Driftmark since Laena and Laenor are dead. Vaemond presses his claim based on the assertion that Rhaenyras boys are bastards, and she retaliates by having Daemon decapitate him before feeding his corpse to Syrax. When his cousins flee to King's Landing with Vaemond's wife and two sons to plead for justice from Viserys, the King has the tongues of the five removed in keeping with his punishment for claiming that the Velaryon boys are bastards.

Not only was Vaemond's death contrary to the King's decree, which specified muteness and not execution as punishment, but Vaemond is Corlys' bannerman not Rhaenyras. It is the duty of Corlys or the King to deliver these punishments, not hers or Daemons, which renders Rhaenyra and her consort murderers by default. Not only do we have the laundry list above of all the failings of Viserys and Rhaenyra, but we now have the heir to the throne and her husband being guilty of murder and the King refusing to acknowledge the crime or deliver justice. This is where the edited nature of the narrative completely undercuts the writing, because the implications of Viserys and Rhaenyra's actions here and prior cannot be adequately addressed in the Dance itself. A member of one of the oldest houses in Westeros and one of House Targaryen's most steadfast bannermen has been murdered by the heir apparent and her consort, in full view of the realm, and the King took the side of the perpetrators over the victims. The absence of the Silent Five in the narrative of the Dance until after the war ends, combined with the widespread support Rhaenyra enjoys at the outset of the Dance, cannot be reconciled with the scale of this event and Viserys' previous failures of governance. Vaemond's death alone should alter the course of the Dance given the terrible message it sends to other vassals, but because The Rogue Prince was preceded by The Princess and the Queen and no alterations were made to better edit the two together for F&B, this cannot happen.

The 'fix-its' for this part are fairly simple, since my opinion hasn't changed since I wrote the conclusion of my military analysis series: Rhaenyra must be an only child and Viserys legal heir. Rhaenyra and Viserys transgressions are easier to accommodate if the law is on their side in the matter of the succession, meaning that the conflict between Rhaenyra and Aegon's camps becomes one of politics from the start and thus a more genuinely complex and complicated scenario. George's scenario as it stands requires us and the setting to completely ignore how the laws of the Seven Kingdoms work, because the plot is at odds with the world-building. This is not a problem if Aegon, son of Baelon lives to adulthood and is the one to marry Alicent and father Aegon II, Helaena, Aemond, and Daeron instead of Viserys. Alicent's husband can die and Viserys can either marry her to silence those calling for him to remarry and have more children, or simply point to Alicent's four and say that his youngest brother already gave him 'spares.' The fact that the Council of 101 set aside the female claimants can be used in Aegon's favour, while also pointing out that Rhaenyra is the King's own child and thus a direct heir, with the issues truly arising with Rhaenyra's bastards. Obviously George placed himself in a bind since Stannis says Rhaenyra usurped her brother's throne in ACOK, but making them step-siblings could at least mitigate this problem.

That wraps it up for part one; I hope you've what I've written thus far! Part two onwards is when we'll get into the military dimensions of the Dance in greater detail than I managed to do originally. Having established the nature of the Targaryen political system and the issues with it that led to the Dance, we'll step down a level to discuss some of the overarching factors that should govern how the Dance was fought. Stay tuned next time for "Environment and Logistics in the Dance!"

[alterrune]

A RANT ABOUT THE NOZZLENOSE WEAPONS

I find it hilariously awful that directly after Grand Run, Nintendo decided to put the H-3 Nozzlenose as the FIRST WEAPON in the rotation roster for the new Salmon Run rotation...and then also put the L-3 Nozzlenose IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT for the one after that!

Now, I'm gonna go on a bit of a rant as to why I personaly think these weapons should be reworked ENTIRELY for Splatoon 4.

Every single weapon in Splatoon has one thing in common: You hold down the trigger, you can fire for as long as you have ink. It's consistent, it's great, and it makes it so you don't have to constantly tap the ZR button.

Guess what's missing from these two?

THEY. DON'T. AUTO. FIRE.

This ALONE honestly makes me want to never touch this weapon.

Personally, I think the whole concept of "constantly tapping the trigger" with this thing is incredibly stupid.

(This is just my opinion. If you use either [or both] of the Nozzlenose weapons and actually can use them really well, don't let me stop you, keep using them if you're comfy with them.)

If you ask me, the way to fix the Nozzlenose's problem without making it a full-on clone of another weapon is simple: Keep the way the weapon fires, but make it full-auto so players don't have to constantly hit the fire button. The "tap fire" thing on the Nozzlenose duo is not neccesary.

AND WE ALREADY HAVE A WEAPON THAT DOES THE WHOLE "TAP FIRE" THING, AND IT HAS A FULL AUTO MODE.

THE SQUEEZER. Tap the fire button once, you get a long-range, high-damage shot. Hold it down and you get a short-range, low-damage shot. I literally call this thing "the better Nozzlenose" because it actually has a full-auto mode, which every other weapon in the Splatoon series has.

-🔺💜🔵💕✍🏼-

Now, what about Salmon Run? That's why I made this post in the first place, after all.

Are the Nozzlenose weapons good there?

No. No it isn't. In fact, it's actually WORSE there, and I think a lot of people share my opinion on that.

In Salmon Run, there are salmonids EVERYWHERE. And not only do they come in the standard variety, there are also special event waves: Mothership, Grillers, Fog, Glowflies (called "Rush" in-game), Mudmouth Eruption, Goldie Seeking, Cohock Charge, Giant Tornado, and, of course, High/Low Tide.

A couple of those are no problem with ANY weapon, those being Mothership, Mudmouth Eruption, Giant Tornado, Goldie Seeking, Cohock Charge, Low Tide and Fog. Though it doesn't hurt to practice, as Salmon Run is known for being incredibly chaotic.

But the last 3 types, HOO boy.

The Grillers have a weak spot you need to hit, and if they have a lock on you (as shown by a red laser pointer line they aim at the player they're targeting), you need to run and gun or else you'll recieve what basically equates to a Salmonid Roller crush. And mind you, that weak spot is tiny, and the Griller constantly spins around. You see where I'm going with this? With the Nozzlenoses, you have to repeatedly tap the trigger button to hit that tiny-ass weak point. And mind you, you have to run AND shoot if they target you. Expect to see the "That's a wrap!" fail screen pretty darn quick if the last player alive in the Griller wave (either you or another player) has one of the Nozzlenoses.

Glowflies ("Rush") just sucks overall. One of the players will randomly get a bunch of glowflies following them. They aren't a helpful thing, though. It makes it so that every Salmonid on the map targets that one player. And with the Nozzlenoses, that's a guarenteed player down. You expect a weapon that has to be tap-fired to actually work well when you have about 100 enemy mooks (at BEST, mind you) all targeting you? Ehh, not saying it's impossible, bc there ARE people who use this weapon and are skilled with it, but it's HIGHLY unlikely.

High Tide is when the water surrounding the area (which, btw, INSTANTLY SPLATS YOU IF YOU TOUCH IT) raises up, limiting movement options. Even worse, it can be paired with other wave types to make things THAT much worse for you. The Nozzlenoses were not built for fighting in certain special waves, but throw in the High Tide event with it, and kiss that teammate (or you) goodbye. Expect to see a downed player you need to revive, unless, again, they're somewhat skilled with the weapon.

Oh, that's right! I forgot the whole revival system! See, in Salmon Run, you don't respawn the traditional way. In order to revive, one of your teammates has to hit the life ring you spawn back in on, and THEN you can fight again. Imagine if someone with either of the Nozzlenoses tried to revive you while fighting off something like a Steel Eel, all 3 shots fired by the Nozzlenose miss ANY player, and then they get splatted by said Steel Eel, causing you to lose the run in true bullshit fashion. Unfortunately, that's not exactly a hypothetical situation when it comes to the Nozzlenoses.

-🔺💜🔵💕✍🏼-

So what am I trying to say here? MAKE THE NOZZLENOSE WEAPONS FULL-AUTO. It would fix every single problem I have with the weapon!

That, and remove them from Splatoon 3's Salmon Run weapon roster. In my honest opinion, they should've never been added in the first place.

(Again, I have to repeat this bc people might get on my ass if I don't: I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DITCH THE WEAPON IF YOU'RE COOL WITH IT. IF YOU USE ANY OF THE NOZZLENOSE WEAPONS AND ARE COOL WITH IT, THEN YOU DO YOU. THESE ARE SIMPLY MY OPINIONS.)

That is all. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk about these godforsaken weapons. Goodbye.

[wizardsaur]

PINNED POST - ABOUT ME

🌈👻📽🎬🖼🪄🏳️‍⚧️♍️⏫️🛏🗝🌿🖤🦕🌌🎃🐝🍔☮️🌃🌈📸🎧🌹🌻🎶🐦‍⬛🔮🌳✨️🍁🦚🦓🥦🍜💀🧠🧙‍♂️🦇👨‍🦽🧎‍♂️‍➡️🧛‍♂️🕸🍀🖊🗒🖌📚👓♈️🔅🧚‍♂️🐈‍⬛🌄🌙🏴‍☠️🪩🎨📌💼✒️💿🕯

This is my main blog now. Gonna try my best to be a minimally insufferable internet tumblr personality.

I call myself a wizard, my religion is ?????

This is a witch and magic blog. But one of the cool ones, I swear. I like frogs, and being a good person. I post kinda consistently, and I've been active a REALLY LONG TIME in tumblr years.

Doing my best not to be appropriative or exclusionary in any way, also painfully human (read as: can make mistakes and will happily correct them). I also try to spread awareness about cults, misinformation, and other relevant topics in the magic community.

I have chronic pain, and am learning to use mobility aids. Dislocated my hip trying to get outta the bathtub, and my knee WHILE SLEEPING. Physical therapy and compression wear are my friends. 🤣 (getting that diagnosis figured out, I hurt a lot, All the time. I have theories 🦓.)

I thought I met God once in a cemetery in December 2018, and It told me to leave an abusive marriage. I don't really know what that means because I don't understand what Higher Power is. I just hope and try to believe it's there. Due to this and my religious upbringing, I am known to trip and fall into cults, or to be singled out by cult recruiters (Hi. Yes, this has happened literally more than 7 times).

I was raised in arguably one of the biggest cults in the world - no, not scientology. So I sincerely believe the only way to find God or Upper Whatever is to figure it out yourself. I suspect everyone is probably wrong in some ways, right in others. Ergo, I'm painfully agnostic. Again, cults can sniff me out - if I'm getting weird, please check on me. I'm learning to catch myself.

I work with Change in the form of Death - or Death as Change - I'm not sure if that matters. I also work with Uni, the Cat God Of Self. Which. I made up. I made a blog about that, if you can find it. You will see that a lot here. I struggle to actually "worship" anything, probably due to religious trauma. Having a lack of Faith is hard for me.

I write spells, cultivate cool posts. I hardcore try to peer review, please don't hunt me for sport for reblogging a shitty blog. My header has all my DNIS. Just send me an ask and call me out - I'll be reasonable. I also share stories.

I like dinosaurs, vegetarian food (not exclusively), talking about glasses, writing, movies, goth culture, history, reading, art, plants, and dark humor. I write a lot in the bathtub. I live in an old house in the US. Hopefully I become locally famous too, so I can quit my job and freelance forever with my chronic pain problems. Or be a ghost tour guide as my real job.

I'm a story worm. Which is like a bookworm, but with all forms of stories, like movies and podcasts and personal anecdotes. Sometimes, I tell stories. I hope the stories have value for you. I've been enamored with the art of sharing stories my entire life.

[emotionalsupportgoblin420]

Nothing like having an f/o who's a one-off character that only appears in a single episode, so there is literally no content of them.

This is Dale. He's from Lupin the III part 4 Episode 8. He's a part of a family of thieves known as the Mamma Family consisting of himself, his brother, and his mum. He's fairly cowardly and not the brightest fellow. That's all that's really known about him.

I made a playlist for him:

Now, allow me to infodump on the relationship dynamic between him and my s/i:

So, lemme introduce my s/i Sunshine. She's the s/i I us for most everything. I just tweak her story to fit the fandom I'm using her in.

She's a member of Lupin's gang. She plays the role of the muscle in the team. She's playful, witty, sassy, with a bit of a mean streak. She understands psychology on a whole other level and can pick out someone's deepest insecurities within 10 minutes of knowing them. Her autism the leading cause for this ability. With Dale, she's quite flirty. She also thinks he's cute like a puppy dog. Dale is a bit timid around her. Not in the "he's scared of her" kind of way. More in the "he has a huge crush on her and is intimidated by her beauty." His mum doesn't approve of the relationship one bit. She's actually very against it. The idea of her boy fraternizing with the enemy makes her blood boil. Dale's brother really couldn't care less about the whole situation. To him, it's not his problem, and he has better things to do (he is a wee bit jealous that his brother is getting more bitches than him tho lol). Sunshine often flirts with Dale whenever they run into each other during a robbery. They also meet outside of work behind Mamma's back. Oh. "How does Lupin and his gang feel about it" I hear you ask? Lupin is all for it. Downright encourages. One, because he genuinely supports Sunshine and thinks Dale is good match for her. Two, because he knows it upsets Mamma, and that is hilarious to him. Jigen couldn't give a damn. Not in a mean way. He just doesn't like to get involved in romance. Goemon doesn't care too much, either. He thinks it may cause some trouble, but not anymore than Lupin causes 24/7. Romance isn't his forte anyway. So yeah. That's my long ass infodump. Also, the ship name is Sunchip (Sun is obviously in reference to the name Sunshine, and Chip is a reference to Chip and DALE lol)