#I'm willing to say shit because this is personally disgusting to me and it needs to stop

[transfemme-shelterdog]

All the transandrophobia/anti-transmasculinity has been getting to me.

It was hard enough coming to terms with being trans, and starting my transition. It was extra hard accepting that I'm mainly a feminine trans man, considering the attitudes around that.

Now with the "trans men really are the men of the trans community" and "trans men don't experience transphobia/misogyny/abuse" and "trans men haven't contributed anything to the trans community" and "these laws don't affect trans men" and "trans MRAs" and "theyfabs" and "bomb that kills all trans mascs" and "sit down and shut up for once" and "forcefem all tmes!" and "trans men are predators" and and and...

It just makes me not want to be a trans man anymore. It makes me feel like I'm bad, or lesser, or missing out on what the "real" trans and human experience is. Like my mlm love will never be as deep or as fun and my bonds will never be as meaningful as those between women.

I can't get any official help because "sorry, this program only helps women and no I don't have an alternative to recommend to you," and it feels like the queer community couldn't give less of a shit if I died. There's nothing for me, even just emotional support and the feeling of belonging. I will never belong anywhere. Even other trans men speak with derision about guys like me who just want to be listened to.

Like maybe if I went back to being a "broken girl" instead of a "gender traitor/disgusting man" people might give a shit about me again. Maybe they'd care about the violence and abuse I've survived, about my medical neglect, about my poverty and struggles and lack of support. Maybe I'd be able to access resources and maybe there'd be a community out there willing to help and comfort and love me if I need it. They tell me "welcome to being a man, isn't this what you wanted?"

But detransitioning also feels like what they want, except even that doesn't feel true because it feels like they just want me dead. I haven't even been able to afford hormones for years but I'm still very obviously trans and there's nothing I can do about that.

People say "oh you'll never encounter these opinions out in the real world" and that's zero comfort. Real people are saying these things. People are immensely capable of having horrific views and keeping it to themselves unless in "friendly" company, and their views are going to affect their actions and support of me, even if they're polite to my face, which they might not even be.

I'm sorry if this is a lot, I just have nobody I can actually talk to about this stuff.

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with all that. I can see how it would be tough, and my heart does hurt for you, and every other trans guy out there that is going through the same stuff. That's why I'm so passionate about this issue - is because I care deeply about these struggles that I see you guys facing, and I want to help you how I can.

Ultimately, it's your choice if you want to detransition or not, and nobody is going to judge you, or see you as a bad person for doing so, if you do choose to do so. But I do ask, is that something you want? Would you rather be miserable and "accepted" as a woman, and deal with all the struggles that come with womanhood plus dysphoria? Or would you rather say "fuck you" to the haters, power through the hate, and be the man you've always wanted to be?

If you can't engage with the discourse online because of your mental state, that's ok. You're allowed to log off and go outside and ignore the shitty discourse. Yeah, there's still real world issues you'll need to face, but this at least reduces the amount of stress and mental load you have to deal with.

You should be who you want to be, no matter what others say. These transphobes are shitty people, and their opinions should mean jack shit to you. They think you're a "stupid theyfab" who should be blown up with a bomb? Adopt the mantra of: Cool opinion, it would look better shoved up your ass.

Don't give any credence or put any weight in the opinions of people who hold no value, and don't value you in return. Only care about the opinions of those who love you, and want the best for you.

There are people out there who do care about you, and do want you to keep being yourself. Surround yourself with those people, and don't listen to those who hate you. You detransitioning won't make them respect you any more. All you'll get out of it is more dysphoria.

I love you Anon. I care about you. Please don't stop being yourself. <3

[jayladfanpage]

OPENED the first page of Robin lives #3 and just EXPERIENCED EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

fuCK. LIKE. GENUINELY. FUCK. going to consume raw bismuth rn im sobbubg I had hopes after they showed Shelia and just F U C KKKKKKKKKKK

I think writers forget so much of what made adtif adtif and what made Robin Jason Robin Jason. that boy was willing to give up Robin at that point for just a loving family? The issues that led to adtif? WHAT ABOUT HIS whole struggle and issues with being robin itself? what are we even doing here. Nothing is addressed. Instead we get fucking revenge story after revenge story I'm going to implode die. now I feel stupid about waiting for it. I'm half incomprehensible about most of the things I HATED. DICK. What is he saying. God.

I miss u robin Jason, he was so much... a singular character... barr's run... starlin too to a degree... UGH. HIS CHARACTER THESIS IS LOVE ??? ON GOD I will consume 2 tons of pipebombs today fucking hell on god he barely gets dialog, he barely gets shit, I liked 1 panel and that s it im

Anyhow :D yippie ! Happy to see that you're here for fanon writers and all ! Super cool of you ! And your posts are vvv cool, much love ! Would love to hear your thoughts on Robin lives#3 :) <3

Anon you are so incredibly fucking real for this

Issue #3 is... such a fucking disappointment. Exactly like you said, already the first page makes my blood fucking BOIL.

There's a fundamental misunderstanding, in this issue, of where Red Hood!Jason's ideas of revenge come from. His obsession with Joker's death specifically isn't actually out of a need to have Joker dead, it's a need to prove to himself that Bruce loves him more than he loves his mission. Which is not true for Jason or any of Bruce's other children. Gotham will always come first.

So to have Jason go after Joker with the intent to kill him (and succeed at it!) is spitting in the face of all the complicated, messy familial ties that are at the core of UTRH, for the sake of some sense that Jason was always doomed to be the way he is as an adult.

Jason also doesn't feel good after killing people. He doesn't derive any pleasure from it. He's not disgusted by or ashamed of the things he's done, far from it, but to him the murders are just a means to an end. A task to complete if he wants to save Gotham in the way that Bruce isn't able to. Murdering people sure as fuck isn't the "best thing" to ever happen to him. What the fuck.

I also really hate this page. As much as I don't expect any teenager to fully "deal" with their trauma, because they're a teenager, Jason certainly wouldn't run from it. Jason is perhaps the most openly emotional Bat character, and that's always been one of his most important personality traits. He talks about his pain and his trauma, constantly and endlessly, because Jason benefits from communicating his emotions, even if he does it aggressively or explosively.

Plus, "paralyzed with fear" ?? Jason's fear response is FIGHT not freeze. It's never been freeze. Every time Jason is scared, as Robin or otherwise, he responds by picking a fight. He flings himself head-on to the thing that's making him afraid because god fucking damn it Jason has always been good at saving himself -- which is why he's so desperate to have Bruce kill Joker, so that somebody else will protect him for a change.

This plot I'm conflicted on. I've always hated Timmy Todd and always thought that Jason should have been Joker Junior instead. However, this was not the comic to do it in. Robin Lives should have been a comic about trauma and vulnerability and healing. Main Continuity already gives us the neverending loop of Jason's trauma, of how it keeps constantly getting worse and worse, and I wanted Robin Lives to have been different. I wanted it to grab me by the shoulders and say He could have been fine. Jason could have healed. If only things had been different, Jason Todd could have been good.

But it didn't. It's just another fucking Cheer storyline where we read about a child being "doomed from the beginning" and shifting the blame of Red Hood onto Jason for being a lost cause instead of acknowledging the greater context of Jason's death and revival and it's just. Ugh. It fucking sucks.

Also, Bruce would never say this about saving like a dozen children. "Bigger fish to fry" WHILE HE IS RESCUING BRAINWASHED CHILDREN? where is my Bruce Wayne and what did you do to him

About the fanon writers -- thank you! I always find the hate for them a little misplaced. There are dozens of canons across hundreds of comics and fanfiction as a medium is supposed to have a certain degree of separation from its source. I think a lot less people would be upset over "fanon" batfam fics if the writers understood better core traits of the characters. Fanfiction isn't about "Would [x] do this" it's about "How would [x] do this" and a lot of non-writers don't understand that and just think fanon is always horrible.

[super-hero-confessions]

Listen. I feel for fat people. I really do.

I can understand the grievance of not feeling represented when you see an actor in a fat suit rather than a fat actor. Nobody deserves to get bullied for something that is a clear illness. Be it induced by trauma, abuse, or whatever, a resulting eating disorder is a cause for concern and a real reason to get help. Please do because addiction in any extreme is no joke.

Two things though.

First. You are not your fat. I promise you, you are not your fat and you don't have keep it. You shouldn't accept it as part of you either because it is a killer. It is as bad as depression or anxiety or sepsis and it will absolutely kill you if you give it the chance. And this isn't just me, a random person on the internet saying this. This is literally every possible legitimate scientifically backed major medical health organization out there saying this. Obesity is categorized as a disability for a reason. It is a detrimental medical condition. And you know the results are real about the threat of obesity to the human body because there is no profit in them telling people what is and isn't healthy. They make much more off of unhealthy people.

No. That doesn't mean you have to look like every skinny girl you see on TV either but believe me when I say health absolutely does not come in every size and we need to stop promoting this feeder fetish PSYOP shit because it is literally killing and hurting the women who are vulnerable and hurt enough to fall for it.

Women with a mental health crisis are literally dying to satisfy disgusting predatory men looking to victimize them and feed them to literal death. I really want that hard fact to sink in for people.

You matter. But your fat doesn't. You absolutely should not tie your self worth to your fat because it's not you, it's your unaddressed trauma.

Second. Acting is an artistic craft. The job is to play pretend to an extent that the actor or actress can convince the audience that they are something or someone that isn't real. In some circumstances, this will require actors to be able to do things that realistically would just not be possible without certain circumstances. I don't know to what extent that goes with Penguin and Colin Farrell. Penguin does sometimes have a particularly odd and penguin like shape to him that may have been difficult to achieve even with an actor closer to his actual size. Maybe Danny Devito didn't want the role again, but maybe they just wanted Farrell because he's a really good actor. But a good example would be, let's say Bob. From Tekken. If they decided to do live action with a character like that, realistically, they'd need a professionally trained fighter who is incredibly agile in a fat suit or at least an actor and stunt double willing and able to train to mimic the movements this guy can make. Regardless, at some point in the process, Bob's agility would require someone wearing a fat suit.

It is literally a gag in the game itself that Bob's training is so vigorous that it makes him lose the weight he gained just for a weight advantage in fights. And granted, Bob is not a realistic fat guy at all and this example I do realize is a wild one but I think it serves its purpose in representing what I'm trying to say here with acting as an art form and the expectation versus reality of what is happening behind the scenes.

Ideally, fat suits would almost certainly be involved for every project now and in the future because I would rather an actress or actor be healthy and maintain that than a studio trying to convince people or be complacent with the idea that food addiction is A-okay. In an ideal world, every single person would be healthy and happy but I do know that's not reality. It's not even realistic in the world of acting as actors and actresses will go to extremes just to modify their bodies for a role. If the argument is instead for more diverse and natural, but still healthy, bodies to be on screen, then yes. All for it. But fatness or obesity into levels that are a danger to human health should not be glorified nor expected from actors or actresses. And I would argue the same for anorexia and severe thinness. I would rather they use CGI in such cases because I don't and will never wish harm on others just so I can feel better about myself.

Neither should even touch the realm of personal acceptance. If you are at or near that level of extreme, please get the help that you need.

[according2thelore]

THE POCKMARKS!!!!! holy shit es!dean noticing the way ls!sam is so flinchy - bc he is, god bless jared padalecki for that - and blaming the shit out of ls!dean. es!dean trying to get the reasons why out of of ls!sam but sam just refuses to tell this kid version of his brother anything about lucifer bc he doesn’t need that burden!! AHHH.

every ask you answer is driving me insane. obsessed w your mind

YOU GET IT!!!!

LS!Sam shies away from ES!Sam&Dean's fights when they suddenly yell, he jumps when doors slam, he burns his fingers on the stove and doesn't even notice until both deans rush over to pull them off the hob.

he skirts the darkest corners of the street when they walk, and his head suddenly jerks to the side sometimes when they sit in the library like he's trying to get something out of his head.

and when ES!Dean leans in to finally, shakily kiss LS!Sam, sam presses down hard on his own left palm.

this drives ES!Dean up the fucking wall. he blames LS!Dean. how could he have failed to protect sam this severely? dean has spent his entire life on essentially one principle: look out for sam.

and LS!Dean failed. he couldn't do it. he betrayed who dean is at his very core. and he seemingly doesn't live his life in a pit of unconquerable despair. he doesn't handle sam with the care (read: little kid gloves) that he deserves. he punches sam's shoulder and roughs him up and pretends that he didn't fail sam in every conceivable way.

it's disgusting. it's pathetic.

and you bet your ass ES!Dean tries to take LS!Dean to task about it a few times. i would be surprised if LS!dean actually disputes any of the points he makes. just, "come on, kid, you don't want to do this shit with me. shut up, you don't know what you're talking about."

and when ES!Dean finally can't take it, he takes LS!Dean to the ground in a fit of fury. LS!Dean wins easily, but he pulls so many punches that LS!Sam asks him about it after.

he's right, and he's young, and he loves you. i want to kick my own ass about it more than once a day. i still can't process it, and he's still waiting for his voice to drop all the way. let him have it. maybe he says any of this, but he most likely doesn't.

ES!Dean begs and begs and begs LS!Sam to tell him something--anything--because this is not a sam he's used to facing. this is not a sam he can avenge. LS!Sam ruffles his hair like a child and looks at dean like he's adorable for wanting to chew through the intestines of the person that did this.

and ES!Dean is not used to not being able to fight sam's demons for him. young dean would let sam crawl into his bed when he was scared, he would offer to destroy sam's bullies, he was willing to rip every hunter limb-from-limb when they questioned sam.

but this is not a problem he can fix, and it crushes him.

sam won't tell him because he knows that it will shatter him. how can you even tell this dean, with dark freckles and shining eyes and hands shaking with adrenaline when he pulls you in for a kiss, that you spent over a hundred years being ripped apart in every single way one soul can? you can't.

it almost killed LS!Dean when it happened the first time. LS!Sam knows that even though ES!Dean begs and pleads and threatens to rip LS!Dean's dick off, that he's still so young. he thinks that azazel (still "yellow eyes" to these untried versions of themselves) is the worst thing they will ever face.

so sam demurs, and he kisses dean's forehead, and he distracts him with pieces of the future ("our best friend tried to be god, once"), but he swears that dean will never know.

and EEP! anon!!! i am obsessed with YOU!!!! these asks make my week, lol! i'm so glad you all still like these! holding your hand RIGHT NOW.

-lizzy :)

[padscomm]

ethan?

part 3

tara carpenter x f!reader

warnings: grammatical errors, so yea

a/n: I didn't expect this to blow up, but thanks alot!!

Anika · nikayoko

; anika

hey, are you okay?

you stormed out w/o hearing us say anything

I'm worried

; y/n

yea

I'm okay

nothing happened, it's just my tita auntie

was finding me because it was late

; anika

y/n, I thought you didn't have curfew?

; y/n

tita auntie made new rules ig

; anika

c'mon, stop lying to me y/n

I know that you're lying

you can tell me everything

if your not comfortable, just tell me okay?

I'll give you some space

; y/n

I'm not comfortable of talking about it

sorry anika, I promise I'll tell you when

I finally feel comfortable

; anika

take your time, don't rush.

INSTAGRAM

ynartist

liked by carpensam , nikayoko , lndry and 130 others

ynartist nobody knows my real birthday lol, do you even know me?

Ethan · @ lndry

when’s your birthday anyways?

· replying to @ lndry

Y/N · @ ynartist

i am not telling you that

Anika · @ nikayoko

I guess nobody know's you that well, even if your a talkative person

· replying to @ nikayoko

Y/N · @ ynartist

I don't tell info about me, unless your willing to know about me:))

mindymarts

liked by nikayoko , vcchad , tarafilms and 560 others

mindymarts my roman empire

tara · @ tarafilms

delete this right now!!

· replying to @ tarafilms

chad · @vcchad

but we look cute there

Mindy don't delete it

sam · @carpensam

r u fucking my sister?

· replying to @carpensam

mindy · @ mindymarts

probably he is

ynartist

liked by lndry , tarafilms , mindymarts and 1000 others

ynartist I'm gonna deactivate my account since i need to get away from shit, lol.

Anika · @ nikayoko

; Anika

mindy

have you been seeing how

y/n has been acting?

; mindy

oh yea

it's very weird

actually

do you think it's about chad & Tara?

; anika

I think so

; mindy

does she like Chad?

; anika

she said that she see's Chad as a brother figure

come to my apartment like right now

; mindy

okay?

after a few minutes, Mindy arrived at anika's apartment. “hey, baby.” anika pulled her in for a kiss, “lets talk about y/n. because I'm actually worried for her.” mindy didn't understand why anika was so worried for you, when she knew that you can take care of yourself.

“why are you so invested in y/n?”

“because, I care for her. I don't really see how you guys care for her.” anika said. mindy didn't say anymore, and just listened to anika yapping about y/n.

the both of them were on the couch, Mindy laying on anika's lap. “let’s go to her apartment.” Mindy suggested, and anika said yes.

and the both of them did, they went to your apartment, sharing with ethan. mindy didn't like ethan that much, but anika, ethan and you were the most closest people on earth. but anika alway's felt, that you and ethan had something together.

anika knocked on the door, and anika saw ethan’s tall figure Infront of her. “can i help you anika and mindy?” ethan asked politely, while mindy frowned, and wasn't buying it. mindy barged in the apartment, and knocked on your door.

“y/n? it's me mindy! can we talk?” you heard mindy knocking on your door, loudly. you didn't have any choice, and you just opened it.

“hi mindy, and anika. what are you two doing here?” mindy looked at you with disgust, “you were definitely been crying all night, judging by the looks of yours.” you were offended at the words of mindy.

“so? why do you care.”

“y/n, let's talk.” anika says, you agreed because you trusted anika, but not mindy. so you guys let her out for a bit, she didn't care.

Mindy was going to their place, of course McDonald's! and the core four was there, so she was excited since she was about to get food.

she arrived at McDonald's, and saw chad hooking his hand on tara’s shoulder. “whats up!!” Mindy says loudly. “ohh hey mindy, where have you been?” tara asked, “at y/n’s place, anika and ethan are there right now, they're having a deep talk.”

“ethan?” tara looked at mindy, “why is he hanging out with that douchebag?” tara frown’s, “well they are like something, that's what anika said to me.” mindy sense’s jealousy in the room.

“i can sense jealously in the room..” mindy jokes, and tara doesn't like it. “i need to use the restroom.” she goes directly to the bathroom, slamming the door.

“why does she trust Ethan more than me! I'm supposed to be the one for y/n.” tara thought to herself.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Okay, I just need vent space and I've run out of options, so this is gonna be a long, irregular, personal post from me. I should probably delete this later, but I'm a little panicky and maybe someone has some resources or advice in the meanwhile.

So I just had a baby back in February (woo!). My wife carried him, but he's still my son of course. His name is William and he's perfect. (I'd post pics but, y'know, the internet being what it is now...) My wife and I love him dearly, he's everything we could have asked for and everything we worked towards for years. I'm so glad and so grateful to have him. But

So, I probably don't need to tell you this, but childcare in the US Fucking. Sucks. Like, it's designed to bankrupt you. Nowhere has availability and the cost is so high, one of us might as well quit our job and stay home with him full time. Which we would gladly do! My wife and I would love to afford to stay home and raise our children because, god, we'd like to have more kids one day. But we couldn't make rent with just one of our incomes or we could, and then only eat 3 weeks out of every month. And you can say goodbye to more children or moving into a house, that shit is Gone.

So, we don't have William in daycare currently because it would be financially devastating. We both stayed home with him as long as we could but again, see above, the US would rather kill you than allow you to do healthy things for yourself and your family. I got 2 weeks off, then 2 weeks virtual, and then 2 weeks mostly in person. That's all the parental leave I was allowed and it would have been the same if I had carried, btw. My wife got 3 months which, and I'm disgusted to say this, is pretty fucking good for our area. But now we're both back at work and someone has to look after our beautiful 3 month old while we work.

My job has no daycare available. There's no union and our insurance is so bad I'm on my wife's, so of course there's nothing else available to support employees. And my job won't allow me to stay virtual for the time being, they'd sooner fire me. Even now during the summer when there's just, literally, Less To Do. But I digress. And my wife is an oncology pharmacy tech, she can't possibly take her fucking baby to work or work from home in that job. So this leaves us with an impasse.

Now my wife and I aren't stupid. We knew all this when we started down the path to having kids. We had conversations with our parents, mostly her parents, about if they were willing to watch our kids when we had to go back to work. Her parents agreed they could do this and they were given many, many opportunities to test run watching William for extended periods before the harsh reality of my wife going back to work. Well, it's a week and a half in and they'd like to call it quits.

That's not fair exactly. They'd like to have him less of the time and on the one hand, I do understand. A baby is a full time job, one I would gladly do if I didn't need money to live. I'm well aware of the incredible strain and stress and commitment it is. It's work, physically, emotionally, temporally, taking care of a baby. You are required to sacrifice your time and energy to the baby because the baby has no other options. So your house gets messy, your eating gets irregular. Of course they're struggling. Of course it's an adjustment. And, in some ways, perhaps my wife and I do ask too much. But here's the thing: they knew this a year ago. My wife and I have been painfully clear about our financial situation and about our options. We're only asking her parents because we have so few resources and because they are both retired. They have the time, if not the energy or inclination, to take care of a baby during those hours my wife and I are required to sacrifice in different ways. I cannot emphasize enough I would rather be home with my child, but for some strange reason, no one will pay me my 51K salary to do that!

I know it's hard on them. They're old, in middling health, with a badly behaved dog and a crumbling house they refuse to sell. There is much that would be aggravating about adding a baby to that mix. But I very much resent that we gave them so much time to think about it and to reconsider before this point, before my wife and I were stuck on our present course with little hope of turning the ship. I cannot help but be aware that grandpa, in particular, is not doing much to help with the situation and is in fact a large part of the problem.

He didn't raise his own children, so professes he has none of the skill to help now. And yet he expects his wife to still wait on him hand and foot while she goes out of her way to help us with the infant. His anxiety is entirely unmanaged, he's conflict averse, he has no idea how to train a dog and is the reason that poor animal is so reactive. He exhibits learned helplessness and his passive aggression drives me up the wall. But I can't fight this man head on without causing a deep rift in the family dynamic and my wife loves her family so much. He's the only reason we can't sell that fucking property for a tidy profit and then he and his wife could move in with my family and we could all buy a bigger place together and live much more happily. Financially, it would salvage the catastrophic situation my country and government has left me in. And I can't even have that conversation because the stubborn old bastard is determined to die in that moldy, pest-filled house and will not hear a word different.

This is me being unfair. He didn't raise his children because he was a cad or deadbeat, but because of his job. He was traveling and when he wasn't traveling, he was working 18 hour days because my wife's family is working class and had only his income to raise 3 children on. He did provide for all 5 people and various dogs in that house. And I'm sure he wants to enjoy retirement his way after all this time. I don't mean to detract from his accomplishments or his work ethic. But I have noticed how unwilling he is to compromise on anything that touches on his preferences, his routine. He expects the world to bend around him, in large part because it always has. His wife and children have made excuses and compromises for him this whole time because of the sacrifices he was making. But that in turn has made him inflexible and stubborn and frankly insupportable when it comes to assisting other people with their needs. Made worse by the obsequious veneer of 'oh, I'll just make it worse, really, you're better off without me' or insisting 'it's fine, no really, you go on' all the while stewing in anger that will explode at some unmitigated point further down the line, at great inconvenience and discomfort to all. His feelings are wildly unmanaged because he's convinced he's just a nice guy doing his best. Instead of an ill-bred chihuahua barking at everyone because no one taught him how to manage distress.

Regardless... being mad at him won't get me much. And I am mad, I'm mad that there's several options here that would ameliorate the situation that are not open to me because he won't allow it. But I'd have to convince at least 2, more likely 3 or 4 people to turn on a man they've known their whole lives. And that's not going to happen. Even if it did, the emotional fall out would be hell and I can't ask that sort of pain from people. If they come to it on their own, I'll be here for them, but I can't ask anyone to break from their father or husband just because I think I have a better idea.

So I'm stuck. They can't take William 5 days a week anymore, daycare is still prohibitively expensive, and my wife and I can't squeeze more time out of our work to make ends meet ourselves.

So then there's my family. My father is retired, my mother is not though she is of retirement age, and my sister is a pock-marked asteroid looping aimlessly through life. My mother is open to taking William on weekends, but last I knew, her weekday availability was scant. I will revisit that conversation though, in mad hope that there's something here. My relationship with my family is... strained. I broke from them due to how they treated me years ago. None of them have forgiven me and mostly they don't understand why I did it. But my mother is a child expert. She has 13 siblings and was raising some of them before she left the farm for college. She raised me and my sister and my father was even pretty involved. I don't think my father has much interest in tending a baby, but he does like children and will at least be interested in playing when William is old enough to properly play. Right now William is at the early grabbing stage so, we're getting there. My sister professed to me that she hates babies, but I have made her hold William on occasion so, even her asshole behavior can be tempered. Also, she could always move the fuck out like I've been begging her to do for Years. But I don't really have any guarantees of what's available here or how shit they will treat me for asking for help. Lord, I can't wait to be lectured about how I shouldn't have had children if I couldn't afford it. About how this whole mess is my responsibility, like everyone raises children alone, no one ever asks for help or calls on resources. Yes, I can't wait to be chided about my idiot decisions and how this proves me unfit to be an adult.

... just some of the reasons we didn't go to my family first.

But this is the position I'm left with. I have to ask, beg for help from people who will treat me poorly and use this fact as an excuse to discredit and disrespect me because my father in law doesn't like it when the baby cries in his very loud and disorganized house. I will have to financially devastate myself and any hopes I had for the future to accommodate his preferences. He can't take it any more, he's run out of patience, so I guess the rest of us just get to suffer.

We have other friends we can beg as well I guess. We've got coworkers with young children, I guess we can ask what they're doing. I will try to resolve this. Just right now I feel sick. My wife was sobbing and in an anxiety spiral all last night when this revelation came. There are no easy answers, only degrees of bad ones. And it hurts that the person voicing a valid concern isn't mature enough to have a meaningful conversation on it. If I came to him with the terrible reality my wife and I were left with, he'd fold like a turtle, lie and insist everything was fine and there was no reason to have us do all that, only for him to explode again the next second something inconvenienced him. That's not a mature, adult conversation, that's a child throwing a tantrum. And it's not helpful to me, it doesn't provide me with any solutions, it just means I get roped into doing his emotional processing for him, like everyone else in his life. And I am asked to cause great harm to myself and then lie to him that it's all fine because his wittle swelf percweption couldn't take it if I told him the truth. I can't fucking stand it.

So if you have any tips or suggestions about how to make childcare more affordable, if you know any avenues that could apply here... I'm all ears.

And if you read the whole thing, thank you. I'm pretty fucked up, but I feel better for having written it all down. Thanks.

[aqours]

ok i REAAAAAALLY need to make a dedicated sideblog for this shit now i realize bc this game is gonna fucking fully get me dragged into this discourse so i'm gonna make an active effort to stop putting these on main, but i can't see myself saying more beyond this in general but ANYWAAAAYS

so i recently made this post about the cognitive dissonance regarding this game and people using fucking CALL OF DUTY a game that is more or less a recruitment drive to make the US military look cool and try to get kids to join up and that GTA's wanted system is actually NOT rewarding you or something to try to play a dick measuring contest with coffin but this interaction really interested me and i wanna talk about it bc i just blocked them after they refused to answer the last question but this is a very specific kind of gaslighting tactic i'm very familiar with from my own days as an anti

i think p much all of us who are used to engaging with this discourse are used to like y'know, being called awful horrible disgusting things. this is not the first time some fucking weird random person came onto my content asking me if i was a kid didler or wanted to fuck my brother. ain't gonna be anywhere near the last time either folks, but i and Lord God knows that's not the case so i don't care what a rando on the internet says but here's the thing: you can't "win" this, but they want to win it. no matter what you say you are the absolute worst kind of dreg of society that should be shot behind a barn and no amount of anything would work. if i actually pulled a list of sourced all that would have happened was they would've doubled down on calling me an inc*s*ious p*d* that I would be willing to use articles probably written by "people like me." because YOU don't care about "winning" this argument, you just wanna get the facts out on your end. it's a catch-22 folks, nothing you say will get you out of it!

i started by calling them a karen, they immediately escalated the living FUCK out of it and tried to trap me in this catch-22 to keep feeling morally superior to me. me saying i don't have such desires and never will isn't enough because i like this game. nothing but me renouncing it will change it.

but here's the thing about antis- they fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when you turn it on them. look at the difference. look at the difference between they were the one throwing the catch-22 at me vs. the other way around. what about you? you just came onto my post to harass me, so i'll say it back. how about you? are you just accusing me of these horrible things because you are projecting your thoughts on me? you told me to get a therapist: so maybe you're the one that needs help if so!

violent video games must encourage violence, riiiiight? and you support it because it's violent. Game of Thrones had in*e*t in it so everyone who likes it also is the same. and Demon Slayer, where the pfp is from is violent, so you support it. the main protag's little sister also gets a superpowered form where she gets physically older and a tits out kinda look. so clearly YOU want to see your sister in the same way, right?

and it went as expected. you can see the tone going from smug jerking off with a shit-eating grin to just annoyed while smelling their own farts like it's a rose. and the moment i started doing the same uh i got NO fucking answers and they stormed off. i waited half an hour for a response before blocking them

so why am i typing up this walltext? because i used to be an anti. i fucking guarantee you i would've called everyone who liked this game [insert horrible things] like 7-9 years ago. so let me tell you, you know what pisses off antis more than anything? more than ANYTHING? turning this catch-22 bullshit on them. this is the only way you can end this miserable conversation without blocking them.

it's all one-sided bullshit and the moment you turn it on an anti it IMMEDIATLY shuts it down. this fucker KNEW the answer and you know it. so i wanted to share that, if you ever struggle with this shit: well the best thing you can do is block them and to give a fuck about winning their imaginary argument, but this is the only way to make the headache end otherwise. just throw the catch-22 right back and that's the end. thanks for reading!

[magicrainbowkitties]

I might be biased because I'm transmasc and it's somewhat The Goal for me to "look like a man," but it's high time we put a stop to "you look like a man" as an insult towards women. Not just trans women, but cis women too. Most often I hear/see it used by women against other women, usually some gender crit weirdos with an unhealthy obsession with other people's genitalia, and I find it imperative that we wrest any and all power away from such creepy, horrible people. And so, here's my dissection of the phrase.

First of all, masculine-presenting women exist. Some are so masc-presenting that they do in fact get gendered as men in everyday speech, to dismay or pleasure depending on the woman you're dealing with. But. What exactly does spitting "you look like a man" at her do? Congratulations, you have eyes and understand that this woman is gender-nonconforming. What now, asshole? All you've done is either state the obvious or said some bullshit she's heard a billion times before.

Second, some women are simply born with features we collectively decided are "masculine" traits. I know plenty of tall, muscular cis women. I've met cis women with facial hair, with big hands, with broad shoulders. How in the fuck do these features and more suddenly disqualify them from womanhood? And to tell such a woman she "looks like a man" is to join in a chorus of bullying she's been experiencing for a long fuckin time (and in many cases, since she was a child) over something she literally has no control over. But it wouldn't help if she just "decided" to be a man, would it, because now they don't know what they want and need to learn to "accept her womanhood," even though you never did when they said they were.

But this leans into my third point, which gets at the core of the problem:

Why is "looking like a man" a bad thing?

Outside of trans people and misgendering, I mean. Because that's just a weapon for getting at a specific aspect of that type of womanhood. However, when it's said to a trans woman, or a cis woman with traditionally masculine traits, it's usually "you ARE a man." Not "you LOOK LIKE a man."

And the only conclusion I can draw, from both my experience and others, is that this is just a long, drawn out way to call people ugly. Because often in these terfy circles, you will find some of the most vile, disgusting things said about men and their bodies. I mean... They get gross about trans women, sure, but remember... They think trans women ARE men. Monster creepy men with horrible delusions, sure, but still men. And then they discuss cis men as if they're all either sex pests, monsters, or weak-willed idiots with no place in the world.

Now I will not discount the fact that many gender crits/terfs are recruited after severe trauma of several stripes inflicted by men, and that men are encouraged in our society to treat women as objects and tools rather than thinking people with their own needs and feelings, thus causing a feedback loop of neglect and abuse that leaves everyone miserable. Not to mention, most people saying shit like "not all men" when you're talking about women's issues probably don't actually care, they just want you to stop talking.

All of this is true. HOWEVER. It comes to a point where you stop criticizing specific men for their behavior, or society at large for making men that do awful things, and you start mocking men for their appearances, disabilities, weight, body parts, ect. That's just not ok.

To anyone who's been told you "look like a man" to make you feel small and horrible:

You are not ugly. Features that society has decided are grossly masculine are not ugly. Being a feminine person with masculine features does not mean you have failed to perform femininity.

You are gorgeous.

And don't let someone that believes looking like a man is the worst thing one could possibly do tell you otherwise.

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

What really makes me laugh with sadness is rhe Fact that I'm a dravidian and trust me when I say that there is like a clear cut division between how we think about the Hindi speaking (coughs cough) belt heh.

Like I'm seeing their thoughts behind Ravana and I'm like lol he was a brown dark skinned king

Like these basic af people can't even bring in the nuance - from my perspective, and from many dravidians perspective, Rama the person was a colonizer + imperialist lol

He travelled from place to place disrupting the people around him and didn't understand different cultures and they have literally demonized the dark skin of the dravidians

They are not going to learn until it's too late

((I'm willing to come off Anon if the these people attack you))

Exactly!

I've always had this question about how all these aesthetics and shit never really had much in the way of festivals like Onam. Because Onam is a festival that throws a spanner in Hindutva canon. Its a direct opposite to idk, Vamana Jayanti or whatever bullshit that has been invented to counter the significance of Maveli (or Mahabali) coming back to earth.

Also like yeah! The Ramayana continually refers to people of the south as animals and uncivilised beings. Like even if Kishkindha was referenced as some civilisation, if you notice the way Sugriva and Vaali, and that whole civilisation was portrayed, you see more of this disgust for their hedonistic tendencies from the narrative. Which, according to the 'civilised' Ayodhyavasis, is absolutely disgusting.

Seriously, people need to put some brains into the epics they love. Whenever we bring this kind of discourse up, Dravidians only ever get stupid responses like 'India is one country lol'. So? One country means we all have to forget our own cultures and line up to whatever single idea of India these Hindutvavadis have? I urge people to think a little, geez.

-Mod G

[shmowder]

for the pjs ship thing...

whatever those are called....

could you do one with artemy and andrey? i don't think ive ever seen anyone talk about andretemy at all but it's one of the few pairings i really like for whatever reason and i wanna see what you think about them ! its so late while I'm sending this I'm going to bed snoopore

-🌈 anon

I DO SHIP THEM ACTUALLY!

I totally didn't get the spark in P2, but ever since I played P1 and watched Andrey keep calling Artemy, "Steppe man," no matter how many times the latter corrects him, just made me feel something.

Like oh oh, Artemy wants to punch him so bad but he won't because he plans on using Andrey, yk scamming him with herbs for shotguns and gaslighting him into thinking he found a new better twyrine recipe so the two brothers must stay in town and ignore the Bachelor who wanted them to leave.

Like oh my god, Artemy hates him so much. He views Andrey with more disgust than cow dung stuck to the bottom of his boots, yet he still has to deal with him because he is the only Menkhu in town.

Andrey is Artemy's biggest ever trial of patience, a constant tug on his nerves.

To rub salt to the wound, Andrey is indifferent to his hatred. He doesn't give a flying fuck what Artemy thinks of him, he knows the other needs him and he will make sure Artemy will always need him as long he remains the sweet wise Menkhu of this town, as long Peter has a taste to those steppe twyrines.

Andrey brings out the worst of Artemy but Artemy brings out the best of Andrey, does it make sense? Like when talking to Andrey in both Haruspex P2 and P1, you get the impression he is at least a decent person.

Then you do the bachelor route, and he shows his real claws and opinions of the filth around him.

Like Artemy makes him soft, which is why Andrey is so indifferent to his hatred, and kinda flirts with him every now and then.

While Artemy has every reason to hate him, especially with all the shit Andrey stirred amidst the kin in P1. The people who betrayed their own kin to sell him recipes, the herb brides made the dancers to the pub. Andrey acted like the town and the kin were his own personal playground, completely desecrating Artemy's culture under the name of his own personal freedom.

Artemy could easily snap, but he doesn't. He's smart about it. He uses Andrey's ignorance and lack of wisdom against him multiple times, if Andrey was aware of the amount of times Artemy foiled his plans right under his very own eyes he'd be filled with rage and humiliation.

Which is why I like it so much, To Artemy, the Stamatin twins are big buffoons. Two mumbling idiots who are so easy to trick. He doesn't understand the worship or reverence the utopians hold for them, he especially doesn't understand why Daniil likes them.

Best of all, these two consider Artemy kinda of a friend, more of an errand or colleague friend but still on friendly terms. Making their whole dynamic ten times funnier in Artemy's eyes who treats them like children with short attention spans.

Also, the idea of Artemy calling the polyhedron ugly to their face is hilarious. Andrey doesn't scare or intimidate him one bit, Peter is just pathetic in his eyes. They literally hold zero power and influence over him.

Side note, but I feel like Vlad Jr.'s type is men like Andrey and Artemy. All I'm saying is that he'd pay both of them to hate fuck in front of him if presented with the opportunity. Not even in a romantic way, like just full-on observing them.

If they do fuck, oh god it'd be glorious. Neither are willing to bottom–at least not to him of all people–so they'll switch and wrestle it out so much in bed. Andrey pulling Artemy's hair like one of his wenches he got so used to manhandling in bed, but Artemy leaves him with a black eye for it.

They both end up with so many scratches and bruises by the end of it, Artemy curses him out in steppe so much, Andrey gets so annoyed he doesn't know what he's saying and actually goes to attempt and learn the language the next day. Just to humiliate Artemy by openly calling him "my slut" in front of people in his own language.

Because let's face it, Andrey is used to herb brides and pliant women, to always getting what he wants and being bigger/stronger than anyone he meets. Even Eva was so sweet and soft. Artemy is literally a bull in a china shop sent to humble Andrey.

also here's Andrey's ideal uh situation for the meme above

[iztea]

https://www.tumblr.com/iztea/776568769083572224/how-do-you-deal-with-someone-being-very?source=share ''it was very vague but so were you'' LMFAO I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU WITH THE TOPIC I'M SORRY

yeah i'll just try to protect my sanity. he's my professor thesis and i picked him because i thought he would be a good professional since he has a good bunch of experience in the research field.

but i'm doing a very feminist-opinionated topic and he acts like such an ally in front of everyone and turns out he isn't!! which, that's why i called him a hypocrite in the last ask.

i want to call him out on it next time we speak but since he's in a position of power i'm afraid as hell. i either put him in his place (being assertive but without risking my mark) or either make a disgusted face and move on. idk what i'll do i'll just see in the moment ig but that's the whole problem

WELL SHIT MAN I DIDNT KNOW HE AAS YOUR PROFESSORRBCB Okayyyy ok change of plans; since you guys are not coworkers or on equal foot i absolutely advise against any sort of direct fight or confrontation ( but then again, you know him and yourself better so maybe it can work? generally speaking, i think it's better to remain polite and impersonal with superiors) but that doesn't mean you can't approach this situation from a place of (albeit fake) curiosity. Challenge his beliefs next time. This can lead to a more or less friendly debate where you try to see his point ( as much pain as that might bring you ) and argue against it. I'm sure you won't change his mind, especially considering the topic at hand, but at the end of the day, do you really have to? I have no experience in the ~social sciences field so pls correct me if I'm wrong, but does his own personal opinion on the topic of your thesis really matter? As your advisor, his job is to guide and offer objective feedback on your thesis, whether he agrees or not should be out of the equation, right? He can propose better phrasing, point out mistakes or give advice that will help nail down your point better; why would it matter if he agrees with what you're saying or not? Like,, his anti-feminist cringe hottakes are his problem he should get over himself and help you polish your writing on a topic that you're passionated and also very rightfully opinionated on

However, if the tension between you two is too high, a conversation is much needed. Tell him that if does not agree with your points, that maybe it's better if you stop collaborating and that you'll find someone else.. Show him that you are not willing to go on like this and offer an ultimatum: either he becomes objective and straightforward in his feedback or you two part ways as you fear that continuing to work with him could negatively impact the quality of your thesis. To me, it seems reasonable enough..

I know it's easier said than done, I'd shake in my pants too considering he's my superior, but at the end of the day, it's your thesis at play here and if this (im assuming) hag interferes so much to the point it's become uncomfortable then it's better to be upfront with him, and also suggest a way out for you two. You are not forever tied to him, I'm sure you can always find another advisor if you have a good enough reason to part ways with your current one. You are never stuck with a yucky person i really hope everything goes well in the end and yes protecting your sanity should be your no1 priority

[khaire-traveler]

hey, so im kinda new here but i was just scrolling and saw a post you made in like december of last year (im really late i know, im sorry) saying that the gods aren't going to harm you and won't toy with you, and um, i really mean no disrespect at all with this, this is a genuine question, and i in no way mean to bash you bc i love the greek gods too, but like don't the greek myths show the exact opposite of that? like zeus and poseidon legit flooding the whole ass earth just to get rid of humans? and so many different occasions where the gods smite humans bc of a tiny offense? or actually just toying with mortals because they find it funny? and just basically doing really questionable things to humans all the time? i love them and all, but isn't it a bit of a stretch to say that they wouldn't harm humans when they literally did for all of humanity's existance per the myths?

Hello, Nonny, thanks for the question! I appreciate that you were trying to be respectful. 🧡

Firstly, I would like to say that I made that post last year. My thoughts and opinions have shifted over time, and that post was mostly made with the intention of comforting those who needed it (including myself, at the time). Posts like that don't offer enough context to express what a person actually believes/practices. I still would like to believe that gods don't just fuck with people or harm them in really shitty ways, but this is due to personal experience, as are most things within this type of religion. It's very heavily based on each individual's experiences with the gods. I have never met two people with the same exact practice or even interpretation of the gods; something is always a little bit different, even if it's a very small difference.

Secondly, these are myths that you're referencing. Even in ancient times, they were not interpreted literally all the time. This isn't really the type of religion that I would suggest people interpret myths literally, and I don't mean that in a rude way. It simply doesn't make sense to me to do that, especially when the culture of the ancient Greeks was so vastly different from the modern day. In fact, many of the major "issues" people have with Greek myths can be explained by a difference in culture and ways of thinking. If you choose to interpret myths literally, go for it, but I personally find the gods to be VERY different from the myths people told of them.

You have to remember as well that it's not as if these myths were written by the gods themselves or something; some old ass white men were probably the ones writing that stuff down, and they lived in a culture where men had all the rights and privileges (this is all to say that many myths treat women like shit for a reason: the culture viewed women as being worth less than literal animals).

The Greek myths are not scripture. I feel that basing one's views of the gods solely on myths is extremely limiting and, in my experience, inaccurate. Zeus has treated me very kindly, even helping me escape from the worst abuser I've ever faced; Poseidon has been very respectful, gently approaching me and randomly just popping up for assistance throughout my life; Apollo has been a light in the darkness for me during many times of need, always willing to guide me when I've lost my way. The gods can be depicted in myths one way but act in an entirely different way in reality.

That said, however, the gods are complex beings, similarly to humans. They are capable of feeling any emotion - sadness, happiness, anger, disgust, etc. Of course they're bound to get upset at humans from time to time, but I don't believe they would act maliciously towards someone randomly or for a super petty reason. They can be kind, loving, and sweet, but being multifaceted, they can also be cruel, spiteful, and angry. I would argue that rarely does a worshipper experience the more "unpleasant" side of the gods, but it does happen, I'm sure. I just believe that the gods will not go out of their way to just "mess with people", if that makes sense. For example, I don't believe Aphrodite would ruin someone's life for making a one-off comment about how their partner is "as/more beautiful as/than Aphrodite". Like, why would she care? Especially if that person doesn't even worship her, why does it matter what that person says? It's just some random person, and she has much better things to do than spend her time ruining their life for a compliment to their lover. The gods simply have better things to do and/or are more mature than that. They're thousands upon thousands of years old; I'm sure they know how to handle someone who called them a mean name or said something "hubristic" in a respectful and disciplined way, especially if that person isn't a worshipper/doesn't believe in their existence.

Of course, there are people who would disagree with me, and that's perfectly fine. There is no right or wrong belief when it comes to these things. The beauty of this religion is that you're free to think whatever you want. If you want to believe that Hermes is the god of Monster Energy™, you're absolutely free to do so! If you want to believe that saying someone is as beautiful as Aphrodite is insanely disrespectful and not ok, then you're free to think that as well. There's nothing wrong with believing whatever feels right to you, but just remember that at the end of the day, religion should be a generally positive experience for you. It should make you feel good in some way, be that happiness or fulfillment or even comfort. Religion shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, and unsafe constantly. There are times where religion - especially this one imo - will test your limits or push boundaries, but it shouldn't make you feel like shit all the time.

Ok, anyway, I apologize for going into a tangent lol. I hope this gave a sufficient answer to your question. Believe whatever you feel is right, Nonny. I may believe that the gods are kind (although they certainly can behave otherwise, being multifaceted), but you're welcome to believe the opposite. There is no one single way to interpret the gods; it's different for everyone. The only recommendation/advice I have for you is to base your views of the gods on personal experience rather than myths. Myths are just that: myths. They are meant to teach lessons or explain the nature of the world. Sometimes they're even just meant to show examples of a god's wrath/why you should respect the gods. Point being here that they aren't usually meant to be taken literally, and I personally would not recommend doing so, but it's entirely your choice.

I hope this helped and gave you a good answer! Take care, and have an awesome day/night. 🧡☺️

[kalirya]

my parents but especially my mom are supernaturally adept at killing a vibe because they just can't help but spew out bigoted shit with the most vitriolic tone of voice imaginable without even thinking about it

like half jokingly chastising my dad for leaving the seat up when he's been the only one to use it that way my entire life, and when my mom joins in because he says "maybe it wasn't me!" the very first words out of her mouth are "not unless one of us became a tranny overnight!"

like was that necessary. slurs fall so easily from their lips and they do it on fucking purpose, because they think they should be able to and the fact they shouldn't is the only motivation they need. no to mention the sheer disgust the words drip with, every fucking time.

any wonder I wont even tell them I'm queer, even the few times they've asked (well, they tend to ask if I'm a lesbian because their understanding about most things but especially identities is as shallow as the mirage of an oasis in the desert), never mind any gender things. I'll stay in the closet to them until I die or they do unless it becomes unavoidable, because I genuinely just don't have the capacity to deal with them not just not understanding but belligerently refusing to understand. cruelly, at times.

my parents will never know me as an adult, as a person, and no part of them would mourn it if they knew. and that's a little sad. that i can't even let myself believe they'd be willing to try, because I know they wouldn't, just makes me fucking sad, so why bother telling or asking.

it feels a little like this in all my relationships. even my sister had an overreaction to me introducing myself to her friends with a nickname of my birth name, and it's just always like that. I don't ask because the times I have prove that there's no point, my asks, my desires, the things I want or refuse to admit I need come second the moment it inconveniences someone else or requires change from them. it has never been different.

so why fucking bother.

anyway sorry mom, one of us did become a tranny overnight. my bad.

[chrispypapas]

Chris, I need to know what you think would happen in a Xander spin-off. Because, unless I am remembering wrong, Xander was one hell of a tool.

im kissing you on the lips for asking me about btvs

season 3 ep 13 'the zeppo' is a Xander POV episode of btvs and tbh that's one of my favorite episodes of btvs. its the gang leaving Xander out of the apocalypse of the week due to him being "too weak", just for Xander to get involved in his own dangerous adventure where a group of zombies try to get him to join their gang. i think a Xander series would have been better than the angel series bc the Angel series did not know what its purpose was. its such a bad show. the only saving grace of that show is Cordelia is there, and when she leaves the show it becomes complete trash. Cordelia needed to be there to balance out the stupid shit Angel is doing. If you like the Angel series I'm so incredibly happy for you and my opinion on it should not diminish how you feel about it. I'm just some guy lol i think a POV from the 'normie' of the group would have been more interesting in terms of story telling. You would be able to put yourself in Xander's shoes and it could have been following the aftermath of season 7 of btvs; where everyone who could ever be the slayer was awakened thanks to willow unlocking everyone's potential. btvs continued its story through the comics after the show ended and the plot of the comics was Buffy running a slayer organization where ander worked as support for slayers out on missions (ala Kazuhira Miller in MGS peacewalker and MGSV). now i enter my unhinged rambling of Xander's character

Alexander LaVelle "Xander" Harris has many, as you put it, "one hell of a tool" moments in the show that I'm going to get into. A lot of them I can see as "this is a teenage boy saying stupid teenage boy shit" but a lot of it is also unwarranted and inherently selfish. Early series "tool" moments are

Xander's attitude towards Buffy for not returning his feelings and his haterid of Buffy having feelings for Angel (Season 1)

Xander blaming Buffy for Ms Calendar being killed by Angel (Season 2)

Xander exploding at Buffy for leaving Sunnydale after Joyce (Buffys mom) told her she better never return to their house after Buffy told her mom that shes the slayer (Season 3)

Xander being upset with Willow and Buffy for going to college (Season 4)

Xander yelling at Buffy for letting Riley (a good guy in his own words) "get away" when Riley gives Buffy an ultimatum (Season 5)

when Xander says hes disgusted by Buffy and can't even look at her after finding out she's been sleeping with Spike (Season 6)

and finally when Xander thought Buffy was being a terrible leader in season 7 bc she had to be a commander of an army of potential slayers (Season 7)

However on the flip side, Xander has multiple moments of being incredibly loyal and willing to do anything in his power for his friends, and that he really is the heart of the group reminding everyone of their humanity. Xander, much like the rest of the Buffy cast, is a complex character who has good and bad qualities and I think it's important to take the good with the bad. I don't agree with most things he says/does, but I also recognize that inherently he is a good person. Wanting the best for those around him even if his perception of what "the best" for his friends isn't necessarily what they "need".

BTVS is a hard series to defend. A lot of the actions of the characters are uncomfortable due to the creator of the IP, but when you create a piece of media those characters start to also belong to the fans. A lot of what Joss Whedon wrote for the characters at times felt incredibly OOC and just "we're going to torture the afab characters bc I hate women" kind of writing, but it's important to remember that there were other writers on the show and how actors wanted to portray their characters too.

That being said, I like Xander, and I like a lot of what others have done to explore his character bc im gay and like to analyze media. I think a spin off buddy cop Xander and Spike show would have been leagues better than Angel. One of the spin off Buffy comics I really like have Xander and Spike being friends from the beginning and exploring more of what their dynamic could be. I think it's an interesting alternative universe from Buffy canon and its work checking out <3

anyway ty for reading i hope ur having a good day xoxo

[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

"I’m sure I delete the transphobic ones after I’m told they’re indeed transphobic. Not sure which ones you consider homophobic. If enough people are upset about the fat phobic asks then I’ll stop publishing those. I’m just one person after all"

I'm sorry for being antagonistic in my first ask, I initially assumed you were publishing them on purpose. I apologize for jumping to conclusions. I'll provide some examples of bigoted asks which are still published, since you asked for clarification.

---

1. Transphobic asks:

"i'm crying 😭 a "butch" TIM is literally just a masculine male IJBOL"

This is the transphobic ask. "TIM" is a derogatory term TERFs use against trans women which means "trans identified male". The anon I am quoting was saying that butch trans women are masculine males. I'm pretty sure this is the same anon who mocked trans men who like Zu/kka and called them "gay man fetishizing straight girls" awhile back as well. I'm pretty sure that ask was deleted though.

2. Fatphobic asks:

"dante basco is an obese whale."

"because he's a lard-ass pig/whale hybrid who needs to put the fork down and hop on a fucking treadmill ❤️"

I don't think I need to elaborate on why these asks are disgusting. Not only are they targeting a real living person, even if they weren't, calling a fat person "lard-ass pig/whale hybrid" is not just fatphobic but straight up cruel. Dante Basco won't see this ask obviously but fat people who browse the atla tag and who follow you will.

3. Homophobic asks

This one is nowhere as bad as any of the previous, but I still have a lot to say about it:

"As a gay ATLA fan I can just instantly tell all these “everyone is q*eer” asks are coming from unimaginative heterosexual teenagers who think being gay is a quirky subculture to dress up as. I know you probably won’t post this because you’re chicken shit but I just had to say it, it’s a new age form of homophobia and it’s annoying to watch as an actual gay person who grew up being threatened and called slurs in real life."

Making assumptions about the sexualities of people who shared their harmless queer headcanons, specifically assuming they must be heterosexual teenagers who are appropriating gay culture, calling them "heterosexual teenagers who think being gay is a quirky subculture to dress up as" and calling this "a new age form of homophobia" is ridiculous because I've been using this site for over a decade and every single time I've come across an queer headcanons Tumblr post it had been done by a fellow LGBT person.

Example: I submitted one of these headcanon posts and I am a lesbian! And one who has very much been called slurs and experienced a lot of homophobia in her life. Seeing that vicious ask made me apprehensive about submitting any further LGBT+ asks or confessions. Publishing asks that target queer centric confessions, even if the antagonist ask is by another gay person, creates a hostile environment for LGBT people to share further queer submissions in the future.

---

Thank you for reading, no need to publish this ask unless you wish to, but I wanted to explain my reasoning.

I’ll try to do better. As I’ve said before, I’m just one person but I am willing to learn better. Appreciate the feedback.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Blood and sand - Chapter Eleven

“Why am I safe with you?” said Luke. “I mean, how am I safer with you than other people here?”

Arthur sighed. “Because Collins knows I'm… protective. I'll protect you.”

Written for the @malevolentmadnessmixup. Art by @aktrashpanda.

>>>>READ ON AO3 OR BELOW<<<<

----------

Chapter Eleven: The King in Yellow

“Keep it to yourself, lad,” Dennis murmured almost in his ear as they stepped back into the hall. “Anybody finds out the King has any interest in you at all, and they’d see a pressure point.”

“A pressure point?”

“A person they might think they could threaten to get him to obey.”

Luke scoffed. “That wouldn’t work.”

“No, it wouldn’t, and you and I both know that, but they don’t.”

For one moment, Luke was just so sick of other people. Slavers bothering him, bullies hounding him, now this? “What should I do?”

“We have to work on your magic. Get you some defense. Won’t be enough to just heal yourself, laddie.”

His eyes stung. “I can do this,” Luke said. “I have to.”

“So does everybody. The challenge is you’re not thinking offensively yet; you’re defensive. Responsive, not active. All someone needs to do is bite off your head, or eat you, or do something else you can’t heal. You’ve got to start thinking like a killer.”

And with a shock, Luke realized he did not want to do that.

His whole life had been doing what he had to do, miserable and mandated, but he did not want to do this. From school to work to household things to staying out of the way, he’d done what he was told, and hadn’t liked it. This was different. This mattered. “Do I have to kill?” he said, soft.

The look Dennis gave him wasn’t… disgusted. It wasn’t angry or disappointed. But it was less interested, distinctly distracted, and that seemed like some kind of warning. “Best advised, lad. Else, they’ll come after you again, with a grudge this time, and will know your tricks. You’d lose badly.”

It was so strange to find this barrier within himself. He didn’t want to have to kill. “Thank you. For… for helping me.”

The bad look went away. “We need to make you dangerous, lad. Willing to strike first. Fast.”

Luke felt a little sick.

They walked, and Dennis did not look toward the other warriors who peered, watching Luke with sharp and narrowed eyes. “I might know a guy,” Dennis said thoughtfully. “His boss owes me a favor.”

Luke looked up. “A guy?”

Dennis nodded. “You just stick by Arthur's side, all right? I ought be back in a few days.”

Luke glanced back over his shoulder. All of them were still watching. He gulped. “Are they going to attack me?” he whispered.

“Might try it if you're alone,” said Dennis, believably. “Not supposed to, but if there’s no witnesses…”

“Do you have to leave?” Luke squeaked.

“Arthur’s safe,” Dennis said, and stopped in front of a narrow, purple door. “In you go.”

“This isn’t the dorm,” said Luke.

“Arthur’s in there. Tell him I'm trusting you to him,” said Dennis, and this smile was wicked.

“Yes, sir,” said Luke, drooping, and didn’t think to say, Why don’t you tell him yourself? until it was too late and Dennis was gone. “I'm an idiot,” Luke mumbled, and pushed inside.

#

Very clearly, Arthur didn’t hear him enter.

“I don't care,” Arthur said, his back to the door, facing the uneven and sharp-edged punching dummy. “It’s fucking Parker.” He swung, slamming his left fist into the dummy with all his might. “Yes, it changes everything! You’re fucking wrong, John.”

He punched with his right hand. It missed the softer stuffed belly and slammed his knuckles right into the jagged, unfinished wood frame.

“Ow! Fuck!” Arthur shook his hand wildly; blood decorated his knuckles, which he had badly split. “That was your fault! Damn it, something broke.”

“I can help,” said Luke.

Arthur Lester jumped damn near out of his skull as he spun, head turned wrong, eyes turned right. “Luke?”

“Dennis says he’s trusting me to you,” Luke obediently mumbled.

Arthur stared. “Shit.” A pause. “Yes, very funny. Fine.” And lower, he muttered, “I need the medic.”

“No, you don’t,” said Luke, who’d been unable to heal a god, and was definitely not running on a full tank, but he’d clearly been handed off to Arthur Lester like a burden, and he was sick of being dismissed tonight. He looked at Arthur’s hands and applied his knack.

He was exhausted. It twinged in his chest a little, like the cost for this was a narrow slice of his cardiovascular. It was worth it, though, because both Arthur and his weird eyes seemed stunned.

“Better?” said Luke, who could clearly see it was healed if still bloody.

Arthur stared at his hands. Arthur stared at Luke (face to the side, eyes locked on Luke’s). “That wasn’t small magic.”

“It was my magic,” Luke said.

Arthur’s paleness returned. “You’re a natural healer,” he said in wonder. “This…” He turned his head. “I know, I know, give me a damn moment.”

Luke would not be doing that. “You were talking about Parker.”

Arthur’s mouth set. His eyes flashed. The lower half of his face looked stubborn. The top looked mad. “Yes.”

“Why?” said Luke.

“Because I want him back, too,” said Arthur, and then did something weird. His left hand shot toward Luke. His right gripped it, around the wrist and straining, and he said, “No!”

This man really was insane.

It wasn’t that scary. Luke had known so many people who were crazy after the Depression, struggling to survive on the streets. Dennis took Arthur seriously, too. “What did you come here to wish?” said Luke.

Arthur opened his mouth, stopped, and seemed to listen to something only he could hear. “What the fuck harm would it do, John?”

Luke waited. Imaginary voices did not, in his experience, like interruptions.

Arthur sighed. “I'm doing it anyway. Luke, we’re here because we’re trying to rescue someone.”

“Who?” said Luke, ignoring the thought that the King needed rescue because it obviously couldn’t be that.

“A man named Charlie Dowd,” said Arthur grimly. “He’s the King’s prisoner… and his best fighter.” Arthur sighed. “He’s had Charlie for over a decade. No one's been able to defeat him.”

Luke’s heart clenched. “But if no one’s won, there are no wishes. Are there?”

“If Charlie is defeated, there is,” said Arthur, “and we know how. We have to remove the spell the King has him under. We’re—I’m—uniquely suited to do that.”

“How come? And then you'll ask for Parker back?”

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment. “The plan was to ask for Charlie. Removing the spell won’t technically gain him freedom. Just sanity.”

But the wish…

But Parker…

But…

Arthur muttered to the side. “Oh, does it feel bad? Does it? Well, that’s what you get for wanting to be mean to a child,” he said, then turned back to Luke. “Hey, it's okay. Don't cry, all right? I'm… not sure anymore.”

Luke wiped his eyes. “What’s so special about this Charlie, anyway?”

“We were… given help,” said Arthur. “In a terrible time of need. In turn, we were asked to help Charlie because he helped the one who helped us.”

“You owe him.” Luke’s heart sank.

“It's complicated now,” said Arthur. “Worse… we can’t both ask. One person wins this, Luke. I need to think about what to do.”

“Dennis is gone tonight,” blurted Luke. “He said he’s calling in a favor and he won’t be back for days.”

Arthur sort of perked up. “Is that so?”

“Yes, sir,” said Luke, wiping his eyes again.

“No wonder he left you with me. A natural healer… people will get ideas.” Arthur sighed. “Come on. Let’s go have some dinner.”

Luke would not be alone. His exhaled, shoulders losing tension.

“So, Luke,” said Arthur as they left the little training room, and the blood he’d spilled vanished as though eaten by the arena itself. “Where did you say you came from?”

#

Luke wasn’t used to someone who wanted to hear what he had to say. Nobody was like that but Parker. But this had been Parker’s partner, so maybe that was why.

“That’s a lot of missed meals,” Arthur said gently, because he actually believed what Luke told him.

Which was good. Luke didn’t lie well. Deception was always his third or fourth thought, and never his first. “I'm fine,” he said.

“Sounds to me like you spent a lot of nights hungry.”

“Everyone does,” said Luke out of years of forced gratitude. “I was one of the lucky ones with a roof over my head.”

“So you want to go back?” said Arthur slyly.

“No!” said Luke.

“Sounds to me like you’re better off away from them,” said Arthur.

He wasn’t wrong. “I… I'm not ungrateful.”

“You’re not. I just know—as a parent—that if someone goes without food, it’s supposed to be you. It’s never supposed to be the kid.”

Luke blinked. His mouth opened and froze.

Arthur was right. He was right. Luke had never considered this, had accepted the scarcity, the choice to feed everyone in the apartment but him. But why? He didn’t deserve food over other people. He wasn’t better, or more special.

Except that Parker would have chosen to either give them both smaller meals, or that Luke—the one who was still growing—ate. Luke knew. Arthur was right.

“Well,” said Arthur, who seemed to know Luke had hit his limit tonight. “Let's go sleep. Stick with me, okay?”

“Why am I safe with you?” said Luke. “I mean, how am I safer with you than other people here?”

Arthur sighed. “Because Collins knows I'm… protective. I'll protect you.”

“Then I'll heal you,” said Luke, who refused to be useless (or ungrateful, which he’d been called all his life, or not pulling his weight, which had been lobbed at him like rocks).

“Sounds like a deal,” said Arthur, and offered his hand.

Luke shook it, feeling very adult.

He went with Arthur to the showers, and to clean their teeth. He followed him to the dorm, where Arthur waited until Luke was in his cot before climbing into his own.

It was nice, Luke decided. Nice not to be alone.

He was far too tired to even think about staying awake, and drifted off before most of the monsters had finished their threatening growls.

#

Battle began before breakfast.

That happened sometimes. Someone (usually the Butcher, but he wasn’t back yet) would step in, bellow orders—duels, free-for-all brawl, Conquer Rome (in which half the fighters were “pagans” and half were “Roman Soldiers”), or whatever—and everyone had to scurry.

Today, Luke stuck with Arthur, and they made a pretty good team.

Arthur was completely insane, but he was also completely vicious. Nobody seemed prepared for him, even true monsters. Arthur moved like he had no fear, without logic or reason, and with hands that worked weirdly independently of one another—and since no one knew where he’d lunge or what he’d do, no one had a really good defense.

He took plenty of damage, too. He had the past few fights, then dragged himself to the medic, talking to himself the whole way, but today… today, that would not be necessary.

Luke tried to avoid being hit. He ducked, spent his focus on looking around, dodging anyone who aimed for him, and fortunately, he wasn’t really much of a target: today’s game was “protect the general,” which meant two weird-looking idols with too many arms, sat at either end of the arena and under threat of destruction by the opposite team.

Arthur had no interest in the idol. His goal appeared to be thinning the herd.

And Luke kept him able.

It took so little to heal him; they were basic injuries, impact or tearing, though that one knife-wound was pretty nasty, and Luke had no trouble keeping up. After trying to heal a god, it was nothing.

Though there was something… wrong, going on with Arthur. Something that created a steady drain on Arthur’s lifeforce. It wasn’t really Luke’s wheelhouse, but he could see it, feel it, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint the source. It felt a little familiar, whatever it was, but it wasn’t good. It had to be harming Arthur over time. It had to, and he—

A trumpet blew. “Victory!” declared whoever the hell that masked cultist was, and the other team seemed to have won, and a lot of bodies littered the arena floor, and Luke tried so hard not to look at them, not to listen to the moans of those who still lived but weren’t going anywhere under their own power, and he pressed close to Arthur, fighting the urge to heal.

Arthur did the face that meant he was listening to John. “They’d just hurt you if you got near them,” he said, then, as if imaginary John somehow knew. “Don’t give them the opportunity.”

“Yes, sir,” Luke said, keeping his eyes fixed on his booted toes. The pressure (need, hunger, desire) to heal didn’t let up until they were some ways down the hall, and finally, he exhaled.

“You did really well,” Arthur said. “We make a good team.”

“We do, sir,” said Luke.

“John and I came to a conclusion last night,” said Arthur. “Here’s what I offer: let’s work together for now, as far as we can. We don’t have to decide what to do about the wish yet. We don’t have to figure out how to handle the last battle yet if it’s just you and me left.”

Oh, this didn’t feel safe at all. “We… we won’t have a plan?” Luke said, tiny.

“That is our plan,” said Arthur, moving a whole lot better than he usually did after one of these battles.

Luke didn’t like not having a plan. To be fair, he’d come into this without much of one, but that was only about him. That was not about risking another person, or trusting them when something screwball could happen.

He didn’t think Arthur would betray him. However they faced that last day, that last choice, they’d do it fairly. So. In the interest of being fair… “Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“Something’s… not quite right with you,” said Luke. “I don’t know what it is. First I thought it was cancer, but it isn’t. Something, though—maybe a curse, I don’t know—is draining your lifeforce. It’s not too bad, so you may not have even noticed, but it isn’t really good to see that in there.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. He kept walking, silent, brow knit. “That’s… unfortunate,” he said, low.

“I don’t know what it is,” Luke said quickly. “I’m not sure it’s something I can fix.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Arthur said very slowly. “I… I think I know what you’re feeling. It’s not a curse—no, John, it’s not. What you’re feeling is—”

“There you are,” said Dennis Collins, striding toward them with another man in his wake. “Saw some of that out there. Pretty good teamwork. That’s what I call entertainment.”

Arthur stared (mostly) in his direction. “No,” he said softly.

Luke glanced over. The other man was not very tall, but broad through the shoulders, and he walked with a solidity that made his black robe sway from side to side. He had black hair and light skin, and eyes that seemed kind, and…

He was missing an arm. Luke did a double take.

“Kids,” said Dennis, looking like the cat who got the cream. “This is—”

“Oscar?” said Arthur in a breathy voice.

“Hello, Arthur,” said the man in a heavy Scottish brogue.

And Arthur took one big step forward and slammed his fist into Dennis’ smiling face.

[chapter twelve] [masterpost]