#I'm very ready to not be in the city anymore so I can actually enjoy weather like this

[sagehaubitze]

Solace.

[miss-tc-nova]

The Smallest Lapse - Malleus Draconia x Reader

It's not my favorite, but I'm ready to move on.

Anyway, I remember his chef's vignette talking about how difficult it is for him to control is strength in regards to fragile things. I think people can be pretty fragile. I originally wanted to break the arm but I'm not ready to write that.

Premise: Malleus is avoiding his problem

Words: 1,334

Warning: Minor Glorious Masquerade spoilers

~~~~~

               It’s been about a month since the events of the Fluer City social and while I very much enjoyed the proper event, I’ve noticed the peculiar behavior of a certain dragon ever since then.

               Normally, we had no qualms spending our time together; in conversation or in silence—we were comfortable. But ever since we returned to Night Raven College, it feels as if Malleus is avoiding me. I can never find him at any our usual spots anymore. A few times when I’ve spotted him, I called out, only for the mage to turn a corner and suddenly disappear. Even when I go straight to Diasomnia, they always tell me that he's not around, but I swear I’ve seen him in the window.

               I know he’s his own person and that he’s allowed to do things on his own. Hell, if he wants, he never has to see me again. But I miss him, and until he tells me those words himself, I won’t give up on him.

               And I have a plan.

               Now, obviously I can’t just call out to him or he’ll vanish again. As much as I want to simply confront the man, I need to think with fae rules. So after foregoing homework and wracking my brain, I was up all night.

               And I think I finally have something.

               Ambling the school yard, I check under every tree. It takes me at least thirty minutes before I find the delivery boy I’m looking for. Fast asleep as I expected him to be is Silver, perfectly comfortable beneath the dappled shade.

               “Ever reliable, aren’t you,” I hum, tucking the envelope under his hand.

               At the slight movement, the young man hums. I immediately put space between us, afraid that his retainer skills might kick in and he’ll act before he thinks. But thankfully, Silver remains at rest and I can hurry back to Ramshackle to await the fruits of my schemes.

               I can’t help the grin that splits my face when I hear a knock on the front door. It’s exactly 7 p.m. Scurrying towards the entrance, I grab the front door and rip it open to find my guest.

               He looks unamused, his lips pursed as he stares down at me. Lifting the envelope with his name scrawled on the front that I had entrusted to my messenger, for the first time in a month, Malleus speaks to me.

               “Well played, Child of Man.” Frustration oozes from each word.

               “Welcome to Ramshackle,” I say, waving my guest into the dorm. “We’ve been expecting you, Mr. Draconia.”

               He crosses the threshold. “I’m sure you have.”

               “May I take your coat, sir?”

               My satire does not go unnoticed. “No, actually. There’s quite the breeze outside and I don’t intend on staying long.”

               I frown, following him into the commons. “Well that’s a bit rude.”

               “Unfortunately, my hands are tied. I have things to do.” Even as he insults me, his eyes never fall on me.

               “Like what? Ignore me some more?”

               “I assure you, I have not been ignoring you.” He peruses the random assortment of snacks I managed to procure for the sake of appearances. “School work and other commitments have been demanding my attention as of late.”

               “Yeah right.” Skirting around the dragon, I get right in his face so he’ll finally look at me. “Look, I’m not gonna beat around the bush and if you don’t wanna stay, I won’t keep you long. I can’t spend all my time chasing after you when there’s not a hope in hell of me catching you.” A dark brow pops in surprise. “So I just want you to be honest with me. You can either tell me why you’re avoiding me.” I let my gaze drop. “Or you can just say you never want to see me again and we can leave it at that.”

               The silence gnaws at my heart.

               “Surely you must understand by now that I would never say those words to you.”

               My lips twist in heartache. “Yeah, well, it sure feels like that’s what you want to do.”

               Suddenly, he seems to be the one trying to speak to me. “That was never my intention.”

               “You’ve sure got a shitty way of showing that.”

               This time, both his brows rise; I’m sure nobody has ever spoken to him like that before. I’m actually surprised he doesn’t snap back or even just leave—I probably would have.

               His mouth opens once, but the man rethinks his words. Then he tries again.

               “Perhaps you’re right.”

               It’s my turn to be surprised.

               “I never considered that my self-control would be lacking, yet here we stand.”

               My lack of understanding keeps my mouth shut, yet Malleus steps forward. As though my skin is paper, he coaxes my hand to rise. Fingers ghost my arm, brushing back the sleeve to bare what lies beneath.

               This is nothing new to me. The spot has faded to nearly non-existent, the faintest discoloration the only remnants of what transpired. Considering just how bad it was, it’s healing fantastically. Originally, the deepest, darkest violet had consumed my entire forearm and for days after, I could barely move my fingers without pain. Honestly, that it wasn’t broken was a miracle.

               And it was Malleus’s fault.

               Actually, it was Rollo’s, but the injury came by Malleus’s own hand. When the floor fell out from under us, his immediate reaction saved me seeing as I was the only one unable to defend myself. His grip hurt like hell, but I’d take that over slamming into the concrete below. The ensuing insanity proved a decent distraction until the following day. Even so, I thought everything was fine all things considered. We enjoyed the rest of the social, even sharing a dance between myself and the Briar prince. I’m not even sure when he discovered what he'd done—granted I didn’t take a lot of care to hide it.

               My question comes out softly awestruck. “That’s why you’re avoiding me?”

               His touch retracts. “I don’t regret saving you, but this event has shown me that even the smallest lapse in judgement could cause serious harm.” The slightest furrow of his brows reveals the guilt he’s been struggling with ever since the school social.

               His words ruminate in my heart—trying to get a grasp on the fear he’s feeling. Yet the understanding does not sway my own pain.

               “Didn’t you ever learn that avoiding your problems never solves anything?”

               “I’m sorry?”

               “You’ll never learn full self-control if you keep avoiding the problem.” I gesture to my arm. “—and that hurts more than this ever did.” There’s a trace of fear sneaking through my heart. “Accidents happen—even to you—but I’m still here. We can get through them together better than before. So please…don’t stop trying.”

               The young man seems to take in my words, but his heart still set on never seeing me again still terrifies me.

               Chilled fingers graze my face, tracing along my ear and jawline until he tips my face by the chin.

               Riddled with guilt, he says, “How is it that the person I hurt most seems the least afraid?”

               “Because I know your intention.” Again, I brandish the bruised limb. “Besides, I’d take this over a split skull any day.”

               Finally, a smile slips his lips. “Yes, I can’t imagine that would be very enjoyable.”

               It’s always been an infectious problem, but I’ll never regret the second-hand smiles I get from seeing others happy. “So…wanna hang out?”

        ��      A finger taps his chin. “I suppose those other tasks can wait. After all, I was invited.”

               “Yes!”

               Without hesitation, I launch at the dragon. Not a single muscle budges as I collide into him but his arms still support my weight. Even with all my strength, he’s not fazed by my arms around his neck. Playfully, my head bumps against his.

               “I missed you.”

               That deep chuckle twists at my insides.

               “I missed you too.”

~~~~~

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[shadowland]

Country Trip: A Talk With Gram Parsons

Fusion magazine, March 26 1969 {x} transcript ↓

Gram: "There's a very good music scene in L.A., a lot of good musicians have been playing together lately and getting together... but not so much at the whiskey and places like that, as in honky-tonks out in the valley - groups like Delanie and Bonnie, Taj Mahal, the Tulsa Rhythm Review... a lot of funky people coming from the south - Texas, Tennessee, and Tulsa - coming out to L.A. to make a little dough, and they find out that you can't really because there aren't many clubs in L.A. to play at, unless you're the Four Ragas...

Someone: "Actually, there's only one club that's left, you know, and that's the Whiskey. The city has clamped down on dancing - you can not dance in clubs anymore, which just kills the business. The Whiskey is on its last legs fighting to keep the wolf away."

Gram: "What was happening in L.A. was Snoopy's Opera House, Peacock Alley, the Laurel Room, the Prehade, the Palamino, the Ace's Club and the Red Volure, and the Hobo - clubs like that that nobody knows about that are like in the San Fernando Valley, the City of Industry, Orange County, I mean the clubs out in the Valley are really honky-tonks, and they're really funky, and they're nicer than like the honky-tonks in Nashville, because the people there are less liable to rap on you for having long hair - they see more of it - and you can go out there and Boogie all you want. So that's real nice - that's the most positive thing I can think of about L.A. - these places out in the Valley, like out on the Strip itself... with all the people addicted to carbon monoxide."

WH: "You were at Harvard-"

Gram: "Briefly - very briefly."

WH: "But up here with the International Submarine Band, and up here with country and western - and you thought you could do best with it out on the coast, rather than like going back to Nashville and playing around there...?"

Gram: "I wanted to go out where it was warm. I was really tired of the cold - here and in New York - and I wanted to go out to the coast for awhile - 'cause it was warm, and everybody was saying it was nice, and I hadn't been there yet. And in two years I sort of surmised what it was all about, and now I'm ready to go someplace else."

WH: "Is it the Bakersfield influence that comes down to people in the San Fernando Valley-"

Gram: "Yeah, it is."

Someone: "Not really, you know. Bakersfield is sort of its own little thing - Buck Owens, Merle Haggard - and southern California, from L.A. down, has always been a very big country and western thing: located in the little suburban communities like Norwalk, Downing, the Valley - all those places around L.A."

Gram: "But the Bakersfield thing is what really got me into it: like four years ago, I was digging Buck Owens, some of the people like that. I mean, I dug the older country artists before then - but I just got started getting into the real hot, electric thing they had. And I sat around and said it sure would be nice to like do a recording session and have Don Rich come down, and cats like that - that's ultimately what happened before we split there, we got together with all those guys, and we all dig each other. Maybe Liza Williams doesn't know who we are, best they do."

WH: "You yourself were in with Billy James in Laurel Canyon foe awhile, weren't you?"

Gram: "Yeah... enjoyed that you know - a nice thing to do. It's too bad that it couldn't be a little cooler - it couldn't be a little bit cooler... It's all like a great [illegible sentence] don't know who you're talking to... Mod Squad time... you don't know... chick comes on to everybody in the band... I'm beginning to wonder about Hippies in general... You can just tell by looking at a person's eyes... but they got all the gear, the blonde hair, everything, and they're so damn ready... but you don't know... When people on Sunset Strip ask you what your sign is, they're really asking if you're bisexual or not - because the chicks who ask you are the chicks who dig bisexual cats, sort of, and the guys who ask you are the guys who dig bisexual cats, sort of - and and they're asking you what your sign is, because they want to know if you're earthy or firey, or airy, or watery - you know, what are you. Nobody knows anything about astrology there, I mean very few people do. What your rising sign is doesn't mean anything."

WH: "Why not San Francisco?"

Gram: "I hate San Francisco. San Francisco is just the jivest town in the world. It's beautiful, and everyone loves its morning fog that fills the air and everything - but listen, when people start playing the 'Star Spangled Banner' by Kate Smith on the radio just to put down the United States - nothing good can come of it. And San Francisco is the home of the Onk."

Someone: "All the long hair and the Hippie freakery has filtered down no through the entire Establishment and has manifested itself in Onk."

Gram: "Both cities though, have their good and bad points, but they're due for a - I don't know - a lot of people say earthquake; I'd say that both cities are ready to pay a lot of dues, because old people and young people are jiving each other, and not getting together... It's time to get ourselves together. I mean, we can all be positive if we want to - but we've got to really love each other; we can't just do this to each other, you know, all the time. We've got to find a way and be consistent in it, or you're gonna meet with hysteria - and I think that both cities are going toward hysteria.

We're writing a song called 'The San Francisco Gold Rush' right now, and it's on the theory that San Francisco has done approximately the same thing to the music scene in the 60's that Philadelphia did to the 50's, you know, and this is really obvious to me the way that Philadelphia affected Elvis Presley with its satin shirts, and losing the real... I don't mean the clothes that he wore. I just use that to project an image of... Do you know what I mean? Well so there you go; San Francisco has made everyone want to be Ginger Baker, or Eric Clapton, and have ribbons hanging from your shirt and the whole thing. I'm using clothes because clothes are the most obvious thing you can point at... to see what a person is doing. And the other side uses clothes too; Richard Nixon and Governor Reagan see a bunch of little girls in peajackets and wearing Onks, and they think they're the enemies of educational wisdom, you know. Maybe everyone would be a lot safer wearing sequins. We're wearing them 'cause they're bullet proof."

WH: Has Bakersfield been coaslatent all the while?

Gram: "Not really, because country music is going through its fad so rapidly too. I mean, its being affected by the Nehru shirt scene, Glen Campbell, for instance, is a very, very good guitar player - one of the best, but he has been hyped, ruined - destroyed. So many of the country artists are just trying to pick up gimmicks. They always have but they're getting more and more into it - but the same thing with the spades, man, they're getting into a real jive protest scene. They're saying that we are where it's at - you can't have soul unless you're black; and country people are saying you can't have a soul unless you're white unless its one a [illegible word] in it, nothing [illegible word] unless it has a steel guitar. Now I don't go along with that, you see. I think horns are really great and everything, but I want to play with a steel guitar because it's where I'm at now. I love steel. But I'm perfectly willing to listen to B.B. King. The problem is that country radio stations are not playing the real country songs: they're playing "Gentle on My Mind" because they want pop people to get into country music. They think that's the way to do it, but it's not... Yeah, Glen Campbell sang tenor on the International Submarine Band record. He's funky you know."

WH: "What's (James) Burton doing?"

Someone: "Sessions - eighty zillion sessions, you know, work."

Gram: "We run into him a lot. I think he's on sort of the same level that we are, you know; he's eyeing the whole scene very skeptically, and he's a very funky cat-"

Chris Ethridge: "He's got real long hair now, and a beard..."

Gram: "And his brother calls him in the middle of - he called him in the middle of a session Chris and I did with him the other week, looking for a 64 Chevrolet engine in a 49 frame or something... James is really all right, you know, and he's just waiting, he's just waiting..."

Gram: "The Tulsa guys, the Memphis guys - ten years ago, they were playing with Buddy Holly, they were playing with the Crickets, they were playing with Little Richard, they were playing with guys like that; and now they're doing their brand new 1969 thing. It's the same with us. And Jerry Lee Lewis is back, Fats Domino is back - I couldn't be happier. Conway Twitty's back. He's got the hottest new country band around, and he's out of sight. In his own right, he's better than all of us new country groups - 'cause he's paid more dues, he's older. As soon as young kids start digging old funky white artists like they dig old funky black artists... Like they can listen to B.B. King but can they listen to George Jones, they can listen to George Jones, they can listen to Albert King and Ike and Tina Turner, and so on, but can they listen to Conway Twitty... You've got your Otis Redding, but you've also got your Merle Haggard. I suppose that we would correspond and parallel - we would be on the same level as the newest things that are happening in Rhythm & Blues, like down in Muscle Shoals that's our scene. It's a bunch of young white people who are starting to play white music.

You really can't put music in geographical places, because country music probably came out of the Midwest as opposed to the south. But I'd say Muscle Shoals is one of the hottest recording scenes in the United States, and it's one that we relate to more than we relate to Nashville or L.A. We try to make our recording sessions sort of like Muscles Shoals rather than Nashville. We didn't hire a bunch of X musicians, we all concentrated within ourselves on doing it. And we just hung out - and did it together.

Chris Ethridge: "You remember all of those cats that did 'Where Have You Been,' and a real good song, 'You Better Move On' - all of those tunes, remember those tunes? Those were some of the first ones cut down in Muscle Shoals, and that was like ten years ago, or eight years ago. Old Rick Hall, you know, he got himself a studio, and started getting the local cats from around there coming in. And Joe South and Tommy Roe would come in from Atlanta, and they'd cut some stuff, like 'Carol' - do you remember that record 'Carol'? there was a guy in the background going 'Ompah, ompah,' like that; well, that was a farmer from Dewy, Alabama who was a friend of Dan Penn's, and he came up to visit - so they put him on a record; and there he was, you know, he made it.

Gram: "On 'Hippie Boy' ...I mean, the album (The Gilded Palace of Sin) goes from like Everly Bros. cuts to more modern, polished things. But at the end of the album, there's like all of our friends there singing: the GTO's, Joel Scott Hill, Johnny Barbatoes, Henry Louie, Larry March, Bobby McMann - we're all like singing together, 'There'll be peace in the valley.' We had a real good time doing the album.

WH: "The thing is with that song ('Hippie Boy') - the talking kind of country song has the potential for being sentimental, and yet it doesn't become so."

Gram: "Yeah, well - that song - We had the idea from the very beginning; we kept saying, we got to do a song called 'Hippie Boy' about Chicago, and it's got to be a narrative song, and Chris Hillman has to do it; and he has to drink a fifth of scotch before he does it - just to really feel the whole thing; not smoke an ounce of grass - but drink a fifth of scotch and do a narrative. And let's see someone else do that - let's see McGuinn do it."

WH: "It seemed like the toughest challenge of the record."

Gram: "Right, it was. We went through 'Hot Burrito 1 & 2,' and we saw that we had the high polished musical thing by the nuts - we had it and we could do it. My piano playing and organ playing came back to where it used to be, before I was with the Byrds. I started getting funky again, and everybody started getting funky again; and it was time to do 'Hippie Boy' - It was time to end the album. And after we did it, it was time to beat it - it was time to get out of L.A. We would love to have our next album called 'Ray of Hope', you know. We'd like to find some place over in Europe where we're really happy and we write about all the funky nice farmers. We dig to do that; I mean, we are not a negative, put-down group, like people seem to think. They're so uptight about our sequined suits - I just can't believe it. Just because we wear sequined suits doesn't mean that we think we're great. It means we think sequins are great. We think sequins are good taste. Rolling Stone, the Free Press - they think that we're a bunch of... show offs, and we're trying to put everything down. We're merely reflecting everything, because real music is supposed to reflect reality. You can't build a reality in music, you have to reflect it. Like 'original' music was made to get people together - like religious music, to sort of form a bond between you and your ancestors, let's say. In church, you would have music that would make you nostalgic, and think of the oldies times and what the reality really was that has led you up to right now. That's where music's at You can't build your own reality - that's why psychedelic music is so jive; it's every a everybody's own bag. No, I'm sorry, you know, we're all in it together - like it or not.

To do the album in L.A., we had to close ourselves off. When the smog was heavy we had to wear tanks of oxygen, and luckily we were blessed with a fellow named Henry Louie who can just cool out. He's an engineer unlike any engineer I've ever worked with, and projected an attitude of; 'we're not in L.A. boys, we're together.'"

WH: "You had to go through three years of L.A. to do this - with the Submarine Band, and the Byrds."

Gram: "We paid a lot of dues, but we dug it. I mean, while everybody else was going to the Whiskey building up their egos, and everything, we were saying; 'Jesus Christ, man, nobody likes us. Jesus, what are we doing'. In the meantime, we were going out to places like all those clubs I mentioned, and to forget our troubles, we were getting smashed - and rocking 'n rolling every night, you know, just as hard as we could. And after three years, somebody finally bought country music, someone finally bought the Internal Submarine Band - and then they sold the name, and everything; we paid more dues - but country music was being accepted and we didn't care. And now, everybody wants to get on the bandwagon; everybody want to say they're country as Crawdaddy seems to think he is."

Someone: "I don't think he himself is trying to project that image, but that it's imposed-"

Gram: "Oh right, he's always been funky. People hated him when he started out. They said rotten things about him, but now they're trying to project the country scene onto him. And he isn't country. He's a poet-"

Someone: "He's and old fashioned minstrel."

Gram: - "a beautiful poet, but Columbia records does the same thing with him that they did with the Byrds; they hype him. And I don't know, you just can't believe that sort of stuff..."

WH: "Has A & M been good to you?"

Gram: "They have been real good. They've let us follow our concepts, so to speak. I mean, they're in it for the money like every other record company, and if people start buying out records, they'll let us run with the ball. That's all I can say. I don't know what will happen - otherwise, I don't even want to think about it. If I have to pay more dues I'm willing to because I dig honky-tonk, and rock and roll - and being on the street doesn't bug me at all. I don't need to have an image... So it doesn't matter, one record company or the other. When we got together there were a lot of record companies that were eager to sign us - and anything we wanted, they were willing to do - but we just happened to sign with A & M, mainly because of Mike Vosse, who came and got us. I mean, he was actually interested. He didn't set up appointments for us to come and see him; he came and saw us. Tom Wilkes, in the graphics department, was a friend of Chris', you know. So we had a personal contact and they took a personal interest in us. It's not the big executives - like Herb Alpert and everything did - but who cares about big executives? Who knows where they're at anyway? Herb Alpert's a nice cat, he's a brilliant cat, he's got a beautiful smile - and that's all I know."

[leasnewsletter]

6/1-2025

Dear whomsoever it may, or may not concern,

I thought my holiday was over. 'Twas not. I am writing this from the safety of my home, after we just spent almost 2 hours driving to the airport and back again. There and back again: by Lea Baggins. I just gave my cats dinner, and I'm trying to channel my inner Dua Lipa, who I am sure would be more than happy for a change to her travel plans (#radicaloptimism), and I really am, because I nearly cried when I left earlier, not feeling ready to leave yet, which is crazy because my holiday has been almost 3 weeks long. But...

Where do I begin? Like for so many others, home is complicated. I'll try and condense it a little. My parents divorced in 2020 (if you paid attention to my first entry, this lore has already been dropped), and it's been harder on my mum than my dad. She had just been diagnosed with stress at the time, and it's really been affecting her memory, which is deeply disturbing when it flares up. My dad was the breadwinner, because he's a pilot and he was away half the time and home the other half when we were kids, which meant that my mom had a part time job. My mom was not making nearly enough money to make ends meet post-divorce, and that meant going back to work before she was ready... which as you can imagine is not ideal... when you're diagnosed with stress. The divorce was for the better, but it's been hard to watch her struggle. I'm the oldest daughter and the need to fight all her battles is strong, but I don't always have all the tools to do so... and it makes me sad. My mother quit her job last year (this was good, they were fucking assholes), and is retraining to become a caretaker for senior citizens, who are entering their last stages of life. She's a champion. My mother is so strong, and I love her so deeply, even when it hurts.

Anyway, the reason we had to trauma dump there, is because three nights ago, I dreamt that she had heart problems of some sort (dreams, not very specific) and I kept urging her to sign up for a heart donation, but she kept just shaking me off... and it was so deeply disturbing for me, because I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but it felt like she was just willing to go... and that just kinda set the tone for that day.

My mother, brother, and I went to see my grandparents on my dad's side that day, which is always an experience, because it can kinda go either way. You can laugh, or you can cry because your grandfather just triggered your eating disorder (#justgirlythings). My dad's youngest brother showed up, and we all just ended up making up theories about what happened to that lost Malaysian airplane... don't ask why.

The thing about my granddad is that we all spent our childhood being mostly terrified of him. He was a police officer, who had four sons, who I don't think always knew that he loved them, and a very explosive, toxic and turbulent relationship with my dad's biological mum, who none of us see anymore. Now however! He kinda old-fashioned and stuck in his way, but he loves a good debate... and that I can give him.

While I was trying to enjoy some time off before going back to London, the dream and the family gathering kinda meant I just didn't wanna talk about how I was feeling that day.

The next night I dreamt I was friends with Bella Hadid. So I totally could invite Bella Hadid to my party.

Yesterday was meant to be my last day, so I went to a nearby city to spend it with my sister, who I haven't actually seen nearly enough the past three weeks, so I again tried to make the most of the time I had left before going back.

She took me to see 'Better Man', which I had worked on... sometime between a year and 2 years ago, I think? (Time flies). At no point during that night shoot had anyone informed anyone that Robbie Williams would be a monkey, so I was deeply confused when the trailer was sprung on me, but man... that was a MOVIE. I don't know why I was surprised, but I was.

We had a really good day... and I really missed her, which feels crazy to say because she's right there, but we're all so bad at communicating our feelings, and sometimes I feel like my whole family are standing on different cliffs, and none of us can bridge the gaps because we're not saying what we really feel. I used to think I was good at saying how I felt, but I'm not so sure anymore.

Anyway, the dots are hopefully connecting for you, and you can sense why I would have big complicated feelings about leaving. Yay because staying at home with cats and family is great, nay because of problems I can't just solve.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED, BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOT TRAUMA DUMP FOR ANOTHER MOMENT WITHOUT DEPRESSING MYSELF FURTHER, SO HERE I THINGS I WOULD HAVE TWEETED IN THE PAST 24 HOURS, IF I STILL HAD TWITTER: - Sebastian Stan won a golden globe (!!!) and it's so well deserved. Truly one of the greatest working actors at the moment. - I woke up last night because Radagast (one of my cats, my best friend really) kept yapping, and then my brain started pitching a tiktok series about my cats, where I would dress up as them and then put words to the feelings they're very clearly (to me, anyway) expressing. - Why is everyone putting 'Dancing through life' on their happy montages as if that isn't a song about disassociating and being depressed?

Okay, guys I'm going to stop here, mostly because this was super depressing. Not even pretend tweets could make it funnier. Good news though, my friend sent me a screenshot of ClubChalamet's latest tweet, where she had found what is probably the only photo sans Kylie Jenner from the whole night. She is such a dedicated hater, I must respect it. Looking at the length of this, I won't edit it until tomorrow, so read this unedited mess. Lots of Lea (Yes, this is what I initially typed, so we're sticking with it), Love.

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Hello Shi-Shi! It’s already been two months already and I am dumbfounded at how fast time goes, I swear it was just the start of June yesterday haha. I hope you are doing well!

Not much has happened since I last spoke unfortunately. I had Softball provincials last weekend so that’s exciting! We didn’t win or anything, but we played good and I’m kinda sad it ended so soon. Where I am, we’ve had a lot of rain so lots of my games were cancelled this year, unfortunately.

I’m still learning to driving! I’ve gotten better, definitely, but I still need a bit of guidance and help sometimes, especially when driving through the city. I really enjoy driving; it’s unfortunate that schools ended so now I don’t get to drive to school every morning and drive back, but I love the times that I do get to drive.

I’ve seen your recent artworks and I absolutely love them! I’m sure you’ve seen me pop up every now and then to like your posts. The Bluestreak one, with its beautiful colours and all that, is perhaps my favourite (I may be slightly biased as Bluestreak is one of my favourite TF characters,,) but all the others are wonderful too! Especially the Ratchet one haha, he looks so confused or traumatized. I also love the two grumpy children and the happy baby bug, they are all so beautiful ^^.

And the Mermay drawing of Leona! That one is so gorgeous, he looks so cheeky and the lighting is so well done! All the details, it’s just *chefs kiss*. I didn’t make anything for Mermay this year unfortunately (or maybe I did,, I’m not sure anymore, I’ve been on a drawing roll with a lot of drawings, I’m making a humanformers Jazz/Prowl right now!)

I think after all this text, that’s it haha. Don’t want to make this a whole essay, after all. I hope you have a good day/night, Shi-Shi!

-Meister/Vexian?

Hi there Meister! It's nice to see you again! I saw your message in my inbox and gave a little hop. Time really does fly doesn't it?

I'm sorry to hear that you were rained out for so much of your season. That being said, I think that so long as you had a good time with the games you played, it's a good season.

I didn't drive myself to school until college, so I had a different learning curve than yours. I also didn't enjoy driving just because it takes a while to get from Point A to Point B where I live, but I can say that learning to drive is definitely a slow process. If you like doing it, you'll be driving well and comfortably quickly (a lot faster than I did hehe).

I'm very happy you liked my latest pieces. I've been stuck in an extended rut and have had to fight tooth-and-nail for every picture I draw. But returning to comfort characters (I too have a soft spot for Bluestreak) and putting some of my more ambitious projects on hold has helped a little. Mermay is the only art-event-thingie I actually try to put something out for, and as I said on the Leona picture, I BARELY squeaked him in. Getting art ready for a prompt like Mermay or Inktober for example, can be a challenge so more often than not I'm in the same boat of "didn't make anything for it this year" Kind of like how I always say "I'll make it to the art-fight next time" and never do lol

I'm glad to hear from you and happy that you're doing well Meister, or would you rather I use Vexian now? I wish you good luck on your art pieces and that drawing roll will continue~ Have a wonderful day/night

[anxiety-thyme]

First Friday fic night is here again!

For a refresher you can see what this is about here. Last month was Snow White With the Red Hair .

In last month's poll you degenerates voted for Real Slow Burn - 100k words or more. I should've known. Since we are focused on fic type we are going to hit a few different fandoms.

Voting for next month's topic at the end!

I had a couple of requirements for myself when choosing fics this month otherwise I wouldn't have known where to start and the list would be too long. It's already really long tbh.

The 100K word count had to be for the single fic - not for a series.

The wordcount had to actually be above 100k. No cheating with those 98K fics.

The ship had to be a main part of the story, not an afterthought.

No more than two fics per fandom.

I have to have read it more than once. <- I'm aware of what this says about me. I'm the degenerate actually.

If you've read some of the fics I've posted previously you might have picked up on the very specific vibe in most of what I recommend. Yes, I am just now realizing it and no I don't want to talk about it. Yes maybe a hug wouldn't hurt. We actually have a few that won't leave you emotionally damaged this month!

I thought I'd start with some fandoms we haven't hit yet. As always mind the tags. There is definitely smut.

My Hero Academia

Pairing: Todoroki/Bakugou I'll admit, I was unsure whether to include any MHA since the fandom can be A. Lot. especially when ships are involved. That said, I live in my own little corner of the internet and there are some phenomenal writers hidden away if you go look for it.

The lights are all out (its a big big city), by shaekspeares

"Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order). He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that's another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn't leave him to his own devices anymore."

I enjoy everything shaekspeares writes in the fandom. Their prose is beautiful and their work feels fully rested within the universe while telling compelling and emotional stories.

Candy Canes and Christmas Crackers, by bigdorkenergy

“So….your huge family somehow all think that you have a long term boyfriend and are insisting that you bring him to your week long Christmas family reunion?” Despite his efforts the end of his question raised in pitch as Kirishma swallowed down a giggle.

“How does that even happen?” Kaminari added popping some of the hashbrowns Bakugou made into his mouth.

_

OR your classic holiday romcom where Bakugou needs a fake boyfriend to bring home for Christmas and Todoroki is willing to take that bullet."

I'm not big on Christmas fics. Not for any particular reason I don't think? But, I am a big sucker for fake dating fics. This is adorable and so pure as these two do the whole friends to lovers thing.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

BBC Sherlock

(I know, right?? What is this 2012??)

Pairing: Sherlock/Watson

Performance In a Leading Role, by Mad_Lori

"Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?"

I know I've said this a few times, but I don't read a lot of true AUs but of course there are always exceptions. This is done so well that I don't think you have to be in the fandom or know anything about the characters at all and you would still enjoy it. The slow build from distain to love is really well done.

Community

Paring: Annie/Jeff (don't @me) I know Community isn't everyone's thing but there is some great fic out there just sayin'

It's Always Open Season on Princesses, Elsiesnuffin

"Annie is given the opportunity to do some travelling over the summer after her second year at Greendale."

This is very Roman Holiday-esque. It's a fun romp through Italy while Jeff figures his shit out. Jeff figuring his shit out is my bias. Also, is that a fanfiction.net link I see? 👀

Attack on Titan

pairing: Erwin/Levi

Small Mercies, by Calacreda

"Levi misses Erwin in the margin between sleeping and waking. He thinks about Erwin when he steps out of a hot bath into cold air. He imagines Erwin’s new life, his new vocation, his new family, when the seasons change, or when he blows the candles out, or now, as the sun sets. The only space he does so is a space of a threshold. It does not feel good or bad. It does not feel happy or sad. Levi realises now, however, that this is not the same as it feeling nothing."

Six years after the War ends and they part ways, Levi finds himself at Erwin's door again."

I cannot express how beautiful this is. I've read it so many times and I still cry each time. Levi feels so raw and real as someone who has never really known family and doesn't have the words to put to what he wants and how he feels.

Tiny Anthem, by onthearrow

"Levi swore to Erwin he would kill the Beast Titan. But how can he follow such an order when it's Erwin himself he pulls from its nape?"

Okay, imagine that you have spent years recovering from the grief of losing someone you loved, healing from a toxic relationship, learning to be comfortable in your skin, taking on a role you never asked for and fighting to create a space for yourself in the world. Got it? Now imagine the person you were grieving turns out to not be dead. And also, they don't know who you are. Oh and they have been brainwashed by the enemy. That feels good, right?

I am embarrassed by how many times I've read this. Every time a new chapter came out I would start from the beginning again. I finally promised myself 5 chapters ago that I wasn't allowed to start all over from the beginning until the final chapter comes out. It should be soooon.

Teen Wolf

pairing: Stiles/Derek

Home, by TheTypeWriterGirl

"January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?"

Here is the thing. Not only is this fantastic, but the companion piece that is about Derek and Stiles' parents is also good. I didn't think I'd be able to read a fic about parents who are almost non-existent in the show without the characters from the show in it. I did here and I couldn't put it down.

The Hollow Moon, by thepsychicclam

"It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people."

I know this makes me awful but I'm a sucker for post Nogitsune Stiles. Nightmares? Yes. Disassociation from reality? Bring it. Add in a dash of Derek recognizing what he's going through and I'm there.

There are two fandoms missing that I would have loved to include however:

Snow White With the Red Hair: There are only 2 100+ Obiyuki fics on AO3 so they didn't feel in the spirit of this month's recommendations.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Let's be real most of what I have bookmarked is just straight up porn and not terribly long. That said, there is one really good story that I love but when I went back and looked at the word count turns out it is only like 50K words?

Tell me how much you like them on a scale of Abba to shoulder cat!

Do you like looking at fics by themes or do you prefer by fandom? Let me know.

[msith]

hii miika :D actually since x's birthday is coming up, is it fine if I can request for a social awkward reader with the n25 members? Probably a movie date or just chilling at a cafe together to celebrate their birthday? owo

"happy birthday!!"

Directed to @bl4cktourmaline's modmafuyu/X!! Have a happy birthday my fav moot:33 I hope that you enjoy this heck of a mess!! Also I suck at writing this so I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like being socially awkward!! I'm terrible at doing this..:(( AYSBSGVD PROBABLY MY WORST FIC EVER !!!

You woke up and did all of your regular things! Good thing it was a Saturday so that you have nothing to do~ you went on nightcord to meet your friends! Well... Mizuki spammed @ you to get you to open nightcord.. you opened nightcord to get greeted by kanade,mafuyu,ena and mizuki happily singing the happy birthday song to you! You blushed from embarrassment "t-thanks you guys!" You stuttered shyly "guys!! What if we hang out to celebrate [NAME]'s birthday?" Mizuki suggested "well since it's for [NAME] I'll join" kanade agreed with a small smile on her face "really at 9 am?.. isn't it too early?" "Well not at this time ena!" Mizuki replied "how about 2 pm [NAME]?" Mafuyu questioned you "erm yeah!! Sure" you agreed with a big grin on your face she smiled in return.

It was 1:20 and you were getting ready for the hang out and you're pretty nervous for it.. so as you checked nightcord again mizuki was.. rambling about something.. maybe you come to the cafe right now!

You walked to the cafe and saw that mafuyu was already there! You quietly walked to the spot where mafuyu was sitting at "[NAME]?" She spoke with a little smile on her face "should we go around the city while waiting for them?" You nodded with as she smiled at you, while the others are still in their home, you and mafuyu were walking around scramble crossing with no objectives in particular and after a while you saw ena! She hurriedly run to you and mafuyu and hugged you, you didn't expect this kind of physical touch and you immediately felt discomfort and wanting to get out form this hug as fast as possible! "Ena.." you tried to get out of the hug she immediately released you guys and she laughed it off and then there was mizuki behind her!!

You were very happy but someone was missing.. "where's kanade?" Mafuyu muttered, the four of you looked left and right for kanade and gives up pretty quickly and just... Welll walked inside the cafe waiting for kanade! Couple minutes later you guys saw kanade walking slowly and looking very exhausted! You and mafuyu quick ran out of the cafe and went straight to the almost fainted kanade and carried her inside. You rested her on the chair and waited until she didn't look like she's exhausted anymore.. and then.. well you guys hang out in the cafe! What else do you want me to say? And then you guys happily hang out together~

[des-no9]

10, 18, 23, 30 for the character asks!

Answered a few of these before so I've pasted some answers, but also added in a couple bits too ^^

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

Actually yes! Vanquish came from a family of singers, bards, actors. They travelled a lot when she, her sister and brother were tiny putting on plays and musicals with their troupe, but as they got a little older, they settled in a city and her father became quite prolific and set up his own company and theatre.

After shit happened, she kind of got out of practice with a lot of what she learned when younger, except the lyre. She kept playing that all her years, and can still play it beautifully to this day.

Although, it's rare she will.

She'd really love to learn a different instrument, though. It was picking up the lyre and playing during her journey through BG3 that brought back some of her memories - and while thankful, she also wished she could have kept them locked away, for it also reminded her why the lyre is the instrument that lingered.

18: What would your Tav be doing if they weren't kidnapped on the Nautiloid?

I think Van would probably have ended up in one of these scenarios:

1: slowly have her memory return by itself about her past and Nezarr and get as far the fuck away from this place and people as possible, maybe jump on a pirate ship or onto a travelling theatre caravan on to a new adventure, a new world 2: be picked up by Nezarr before any memories start to return and the cycle starts once more 3: her memories refuse to return for a long time and she sets up home and shop somewhere new of what she used to do - divination, tarot and tea leaf readings etc for the locals, Caiphon eventually gifting her, her pet familiar cyclops fox named Onyx

23: What do they do after the absolute crisis?

Alright. Well. This is a long one, enjoy.

Neither of the canon endings really make me happy and work for Vanquish, so I'm rewriting in that tldr; Emps and Orpheus both survive and work together after Vanquish hauling Voss in to help her talk these two into working together to defeat the brain. Then Vanquish pretty much having to body block Orpheus afterwards to stop him ripping The Emperor apart, Voss and Lae'zel one arm each.

Quietly, she says a long, meaningful goodbye to The Emperor and Karlach, who became a mindflayer, and they go off together and start living their lives as they wish, flitting between the Underdark and a home beneath BG.

After a few tense nights hovering by Voss and Lae'zel's sides with the githyanki as they recover and prepare to leave for one of Voss' hidden outposts, Vanquish is sort of, panicking really. Suddenly she'd built up a small group of close, trusted friends and those she could maybe even call more, and now just, everyone's leaving. Everyone has their own lives to fix, to recover.

And she'll once again be alone.

For while at the githyanki camp, she feels like she fits in, at least with Voss and Lae'zel, and she'd burn the world for them. And after what they'd did for them, she knows those loyal to Orpheus and Voss may as well at least listen to her. Respect her. One day see a friend, too.

Voss commands a LOT of respect over the githyanki that follow him, so them seeing him start to see an istik as an equal, they follow.

Orpheus however, Vanquish and he kinda clash. He knows he owes so much to her for what she did for him, their people, but being freed after millenias in chains and silence kinda kicks the hornets nest of emotions for a bit. He'll get there. Also, Voss adores her. And for Voss to adore someone like her, she must have worth, meaning. However, it also stings that Voss adores her.

When they leave, Voss and Lae'zel promise they'll be back for her when they're ready, if she still wants to join their rebellion, and become an honorary warrior. Voss hands her one half of a very old sending stone pair, carved in tir'su that isn't even used anymore, letting her know that either he or Lae'zel will use the other half.

And they kept to their word. Voss returns to her one day on Qudenos to pick her up, and take her to her new home, if that's what she still wants.

(all the while she'd been setting up home in a small, solitary house far outside Baldur's Gate, sometimes checking in with The Emperor and Karlach, sometimes Gale or Astarion. Vanquish used to do a lot of tarot readings, tea leaves, divination stuff etc before all this went down, so she kinda picks that up for a while before Voss comes swooping in)

So, Vanquish in the end joins the githyanki rebellion because of her love for Voss, Lae'zel. And eventually she grows to love Orpheus too, and actually they become weirdly close in that 'you're someone I can sit in a room with for 8 hours and do absolutely nothing with but feel so comfortable and make you a cup of tea without asking and the only word you'll say is thanks and that's fine'.

Also. She steals all of Orpheus' clothes. Until Voss gets her some custom githyanki leather/cloth/fur armour made, as she can't wear anything too heavy because of her burn scars.

He also might gift her a custom githyanki circlet <3

Orpheus refuses to let her have her own dragon though. It's something weird he can't get pat. An istik on a dragon, but also how the knowledge of the dragons were obtained never really leaves him. He's always had a complicated relationship with them. Even after Voss and Qudenos insisted he have his own, Qudenos picking one of his close mates for Orpheus when he and Voss were very young. She always rides with either Lae'zel or Voss. Qudenos takes her out for cheeky solo rides, now and then.

tldr; she joins the githyanki rebellion and a polycule of her, Voss and Orpheus.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Tav?

I think, despite everything that's happened to her, what she's capable of and still does, the sound of her laughter, the kindness in her smile when she adores you, the playfulness she's kept, and somewhere in there in time, her desire to just love, and be loved.

Aesthetically, her skintone is like the Astral Sea, with her navy and white freckles, along with her burn from her patron(s) that kind of melted a large patch of her skin to a strange nebula.

Also:

-her fat fucking ass -her fearlessness, that's sometimes impulsive stupidity

[purplesurveys]

1806

Are you tired? Are you taking this survey because you can’t sleep?  Not very tired at all even if it's past midnight. I finally feel the calm that's been evading me for a while because 1) I have a long weekend, and 2) I can also finally stop fooling myself about resigning 'soon,' because I did it already a week ago :)

Do you have something important to do?  Not right now but I'll be doing a lot of job hunting in the next few weeks! Also tomorrow morning I'll be heading out to get my car checked because the handbrake icon has been lighting up for a while now and I need to know what's up with that lol.

Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos?  It tastes okay but I'm generally not a fan of packed snacks.

Do you wish you had a new phone?  No but I need to start taking care of my current phone, cos I learned today that the battery capacity left on it is at 77% which is apparently already horrible haha. I'm not in any rush to replace it at least until a year or two from now as it's still a fairly new phone, so it's just a matter of watching out for how much I use it going forward.

Name one thing you ate today?  Instant laksa.

Do you like 80’s music? 60’s music? 90’s music?  I have songs I like from each decade but none of them stand out for me when it comes to music in general.

Do you find rap music annoying? Rap music, and any genre for that matter, is super broad though. There are albums I like but then there are those songs that can get superficial about drugs and sex and have a lot of autotune that just makes me go egh.

What song is stuck in your head?  I'm Fine by BTS because it was the last song I played on Rhythm Hive before closing the game earlier today lol.

Have you ever been to Germany? Never been.

Do you drink coffee in the mornings? I need to, otherwise I'd feel super disoriented and not be able to get as focused at work.

Do you become a fan of lots of things on Facebook?  Not anymore, but I remember how huge that was before. People made pages out of anything and everyone would just be fans of them.

What time do you go to bed on school/work nights? Around midnight or a little past.

Have you ever seen a therapist?  I've never had a session with one, actually. Even though there were many times in the past where I know I should've.

Do you get in trouble at school often?  No. I got scolded once for talking during a class in Grade 4 and from there made it a point to never disrupt again haha.

Do you watch videos on YouTube?  All the time. Even if I don't watch a video per se, I like having YouTube on as background noise/visuals and keep it playing all day long.

Name a song that makes you happy.  These days, Paramore's Escape Route has been giving me all the happy vibes.

Name a song that makes you want to dance. Home by BTS.

Name a song that brings back memories.  Fireflies by Owl City.

Does the song above bring back good or bad memories?  A little bit of both, but mostly good.

What decade do you think is the best musically?  I'd be the worst person to ask this as I never really was an adventurous listener. I also feel like each decade has their own styles and charms when it comes to music so as far as 'musically best' I'd find it hard to tell.

Do you take a long time to get ready in the mornings?  I need around 30-45 minutes to prep before work. That includes taking a shower, making my bed, cleaning my room, playing with the dogs for a few minutes, and making coffee.

Do you wear a lot of makeup?  Does BB cream count? That's really the only thing I apply, and foundation. But yeah in general, the answer is no.

Have you ever written poetry or fiction?  I've dabbled in both but never enjoyed it. I was always one for non-fiction writing.

Do you know how to read music?  Nope. We had drills in music class where we had to read notes and such, but I never retained those and if you quizzed me right now I'd pretty much be clueless.

Do you regularly use a blow dryer?  I don't.

When was the last time you went to church?  Three Sundays ago. The last two I missed because I watched a public Royal Rumble watch party, then had a work event to oversee.

Would you date someone who was a different religion than you?  I wouldn't date anyone who's closely tied to their religion.

What is your best subject in school?  History.

Name something you do nearly everyday.  Use a laptop.

Do you take surveys a lot?  Than the average person, absolutely. Within the community...not nearly as much as I used to. I usually have time to check in only on the weekends now.

Have you ever had sushi?  Yes, it's one of my favorite foods. I literally had sushi at least once every week in January hahaha.

[coolcattime]

3, 20, 22, 24!

Quick warning, this is probably gonna turn into a ramble about my hyperfixations! Question 22 is under the read more section and will contain spoilers for Telltale's The Walking Dead. Question 24 will also be under the read more, because I want to post some pictures with and and also this post is getting a little long 😅

3. 1-3 games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed

First! Your Turn to Die: Death Game By Majority. January 2022, my best friend came to my room and told me that we were going to play this together, a game at the time I had heard of but didn't really think was my thing, and I'm so glad they did because my god do I love this game so much. It's a horror adventure game where you play as Sara Chidouin who, alongside her best friend Joe and 9 strangers, finds herself in a death game where they will all be voting for who will die. I highly, highly reccomend this game if you find the concept interesting at all, especially because it's free. There's a Steam release coming soon (which I think is coming along with the last part of the game), but right now you can download and play for free or even play it in browser.

Second! The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles! I finally branched out from just the original Ace Attorney trilogy and I'm enjoying it! I'm currently on the 5th case of the 1st game and genuinely I missed playing Ace Attorney. Ryunosuke very quickly became another favourite messy... I would say lawyer but he isn't a lawyer for the first three cases so he became that slowly. But jokes aside, I love all the characters and also it was really fun to (by coincidence) read the Sherlock Holmes The Adventure of the Speckled Band a few days after playing the case inspired by it and retroactively realising they joke about the solution of the book in the game.

And third! The Dark Pictures: The Devil in Me! I love The Dark Pictures games and this one has my favourite type of character in it: mean lebsian! So clearly it's a 10/10 best game!

20. A boss you think is really cool

I don't play a lot of games with boss fights but I really like the Mr. Freeze boss fight from Batman: Arkham City! I think the concept of a boss literally adapting to what you do so it won't work on them anymore is awesome, even if it wouldn't work outside of the more stealth focused boss like this one. I don't actually remember if I've ever played this boss fight (gonna be honestly, I cannot remember the sequence of events in Arkham City, other than the Catwoman sections), but I have a distinct memory of watching my dad play this fight. He tried to do the same thing twice, and when it didn't work was genuinely shocked because he didn't think the game meant it. And honestly that memory stuck in my head.

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

So I thought about this for a little while, because there's a couple of different game endings that I think about a lot but there's only one ending that legitimately made me nervous to replay a play with my bff and that is Telltale's The Walking Dead Season 2. It made me turn Jane from a character that was kind of okay to one of, if not my most hated character from a video game; and god was I really scared to play season two with my friend for fear of them really loving Jane (note: they did not, they also do not like Jane).

To give a little context: I played Episode 5 when it went live, like 11pm at night, achievements still not unlockable. And I was excited. By the time of the finale of the episode, I had already cried once (damn beautiful Lee dream sequence) and was not ready for the baby to be dead. I was not ready for the fight between Kenny and Jane and like, gonna be fully honestly, the first time I played I shot Kenny. I shot my 4th favourite character from the series and cried and had a tearful goodbye. And then the baby started crying.

I think this is the biggest betrayal I'd ever felt in a video game. Like to this day, I really can't gel with the idea of leaving a baby in a car in a snowstorm in a zombie apocolaypse to prove a point. I think it's genuinely very messed up and could never really fathom the idea of staying with Jane after that.

I played through the Alone with AJ ending, though I liked both the Kenny endings a lot more and ended up getting an ending with him when I did my replay for achievements.

Being fully honest, I think this ending stuck with me not just because it made me just so angry with a fictional character but because it seems to come so out of nowhere for it to be Jane. Like I fully expected an ending fight with Kenny and Luke, but then it just isn't.

24. A game with a cool art style

Firstly! Darkest Dungeon! The first one, though I do also think the second one looks really cool, I just personally prefer 2d artstyles. I think this game is beautiful and frankly just looks how a game about gothic and cosmic horror should.

And second! Your Turn to Die (again). I think it has a kind of rough start art wise (like there is some very ugly pixel art in the first half an hour), but once it gets going, it kind of feels like playing a manga. Like there's some screens I would love to show, but they are definitely spoilers and, as much as I really want to make a full post just rambling about this game, I don't really wanna spoil the game when I don't have to. ((Also all my saves for this game are on my friend's laptop and I'm not playing a couple hours for one screenshot))

[keefwho]

May 30 - 2024 Thursday

10:36pm

5/10

Last night I recorded a good morning voice message for DS because I felt like it. Doing small little things like that is important for me because usually I'd refrain in case its too silly or something. My prompt yesterday was "let your voice be heard" and I did, literally. Its a very small thing but the intent behind it is large.

This morning I took the dogs out and showered. I made a frozen breakfast sandwich for lunch but I cut up my own onions for it and applied some hot sauce. Usually I'd eat something with it to help it agree with my tummy but I figured I could without because I wanted to eat small meals today since I've been up a couple pounds. My body handled it okay it seems. I had watched a sorta beginner art course video that explained using large areas and then using ovals to define planes easily which is exactly what i've been doing on my own.

To warm up today, I filled in all the little space left on my sketch sheet with rough gestures. Then I finished a YCH edit, did a YCH for 57, and readied a couple commissions for next month.

After work I spent time before lunch contacting people, doing some chores, and tending to my patreon. It was a very productive hour. For lunch I made soup and a grilled cheese. I gave myself ample time to chill and take a break since I actually felt like I earned it. Unfortunately I didn't know what I wanted to chill with so I watched an unsatisfying stream. The guy I like watching lately has starting playing CS:GO and similar games which actually melt my brain to watch. It's soooooo boring.

I finished this Celestia AI redraw I was working on this afternoon and worked on this Zelda drawing I had on the backburner. I asked TK if she wanted to call but she wasn't up for it today so I joined BR's server vc even though it was empty. I really needed to socialize because so few people have been around lately in general. BT joined but he's kinda weird and info dumps about stuff. Also nearly pulled me into the drama he's in surrounding other server members that I know nothing about. I also worked on my pony avatar for an hour.

After work I left the VC to play Cities Skylines. I got a couple new mods that might be crashing the game so I think I'll remove them. Admittedly I barely planned on using them. I asked DS if she wanted to chill and we did. I played Cities for a bit until it crashed, trying to relax and just have fun instead of making it feel like a chore or exercise. I realize I should be opening google earth and looking up locations for inspiration. It usually makes it very fun but feels like "cheating" as stupid as that sounds. Its the kind of mindset I want to let go of for any game I play. Its just a GAME I am PLAYing. Anyways she put on the 4 current episodes of season 2 of Smiling Friends which was a blast. Then we watched highlights of Oneyplays roasting the Nostalgia Critic and I suggested we watch a video of his so I have better context of who he actually is. I've always heard about him but never watched him. Then we did our puzzles before she headed off to bed since she has to wake up extra early tomorrow. I looked back on our evening feeling bad that I was so mellow and uninteresting. Its because I don't have anything on my mind to talk about lately with anyone really. Like I haven't taken in any new information to use. Its also possible I'm not treating myself with enough respect to speak my mind. Maybe I'm just thinking about things I don't think are worth sharing. Or maybe it's okay to have nothing on my mind really so I can just enjoy whatever is happening.

I tried playing some Roblox but my internet was cutting out like 1 out of every 3 minutes. I joined BR's server where they were watching the old ninja turtles movie which they still are as I write this.

My parents got home today so I don't have to tend to the dogs anymore. I did very good work today which I'm proud of, I have no regrets about my work ethic today. I just hope I can get out of this social rut, I don't feel like Im building relationships at all.

[blissfullybloomed]

Good Morning, and welcome to Sunday!

Sunday seems to be the day where I yoga and write the most frequently the past few weeks. The past few weeks have just been …intense. 

I am infamously known for taking on WAY more than I can handle at once. I think this is due to me having to always juggle several things as a child(emotionally, physically…)  It's something I have learned that continues to be repeated and cycled through. Typically when burn out happens I have mental breakdowns, call off work, isolate, and unfortunately shut out everyone. Well , as one goes on a journey…they learn lessons. So the lesson I have learned with this, is being self aware when I'm overloaded. This can be work, personal, relationship, or family overload. This time it was just a “newness” overload.  New house, new state, new job(s), new relationship, new friends, new family experiences…etc. Just all the new things. 

A few months ago, I was extremely excited(the manic), and I was sooooo ready to get out of Wisconsin, that I didn't actually enjoy my last two weeks I was there- I sat there just counting the minutes before I graduated massage school, and the days before I left for Ohio. 

Well…here we are …in Ohio. Fully. 

I have always been one that adjusts to any certain situation pretty easily at first, then the routine/responsibility kicks in and I just keep moving through it as if nothing new has happened. I don't think I take enough time to really just understand what is going on around me. 

We(I) live in a very fast paced world, where information gets to you from across the world in nanoseconds. So, accepting all the new things in my life, has been a very “paced” acceptance. Now, don't get confused by my demeanor…im very happy with the new. I have waited long enough for the new….it's just a little overwhelming sometimes. 

Example: The new career I'm in-Massage Therapist in a chiropractic office, a Massage Therapist for a corporate spa(tbh, I never thought I would work here…but the benefits outweighed anything), the new house I live in(with my sister and her wife-three dogs, and three cats….along with my two cats- its all new, ) my new relationship- (he is a whole ass adult) I still dig it…it's just new. Even a month in, I'm still adjusting. 

Now, let's talk about an area of “limbo” that I DO NOT do well in at all……the gray area. The in-between: waiting for money to take the MBLEX exam, and waiting to get my license for Massage…the gray area sucks. I loathe it. This stems from me being inherently impatient( Im working on it- slowly.) It also stems from fear. Fear that I'm going to mess up so badly that all this new disappears. It’s also shitty when I have to watch all my friends get all their things first because they actually planned the financial part of the license…etc. I however; did not.  Moving ain't cheap yo.

Anywho, the new is overwhelming. 

So how do we fix it? We establish boundaries to our peace. So clearly working 6 days a week, in two different cities…40 miles apart….isn't the goal. So I regrouped…thought it out, and I am going to stick with a normal 5 day work week. I need that decompression time. That's MY time. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I WAS self aware. I felt myself “turtling”, I took stock, reassessed, and made a change. I need my me time, I need my family and boyfriend time. 

Oh and speaking of the boyfriend. Yall, this one…this one has me by the heart strings. He is there when I don't even know I need him to be there. He supports and motivates me to just breathe once in a while. He tells me it's okay when I'm overloaded with all the new.

If I could just live in our bubble I'd be a happy camper. Our bubble is where I am completely safe. What an incredible feeling. It's really nice to be taken care of by a man emotionally. I will tell you this- he is the first one…I've actually allowed to take care of me. Not the other way around. I also don't fight it anymore. Hyper-independence is a trauma response. I wasn't a fan of a man doing anything for me…period…I thought they would think I was weak, and unable to manage on my own. But now, shoooooot!  He wants to buy me dinner- go for it. He wants to give me an extra long hug in a parking lot, go for it. He wants to take me to lighthouses- go for it.

Take care of me baby. I'm okay with it now, and I'm so here for all of it.  Thank you for just being you. Everyday. 

If he is a moose, I'm totally a moose. 

The new is great. It's overwhelming. I couldn't do it without my family and my boyfriend - for real. I need them all. Ha! Yeah, I need them. I need people in my life now. Maybe I needed people the entire time….I just wasn't ready. I'm ready now.

If you are someone who has helped me through the new…thank you!

Word of advice: Take stock of your own boundaries and include your time. Time is something you don't get back and it tends to slip by very quickly.

"The magic of new beginnings, is single-handedly, the most powerful magic of them all"- Victoria Bloom

[make-me-imagine]

✨ Hii Mera! Congrats on the follower milestone! I've been following you since the sherlock days, I'm not really into too much of the other fandoms you do but I'm still here 🥰✨

Can I ask for a ship from bbc sherlock and mcu if you don't mind 😊

info:

Female. 23. Christian. Irish. Librarian. No ship preference. Asexual (romance yes, sex no). Hufflepuff. INFJ. Kind of reclusive thanks to trauma induced mental illness, I am better now though but I feel like I missed on some social skills 🤷‍♀️ love language is gift giving (I looove buying stuff for people cuz I get to shop with a little less guilt cuz hey its not for me hahaa), quality time, touch (will take a long ass time for me to be comfortable with touch cuz trust issues 🙃). I live for vintage things, reading and small old cafes. 30s-40s vintage era is my fav but also 70s. Really want to go to see Barbra Streisand live someday. Fav authors are Agatha Christie and Tolkien. Hobbies: reading, sewing, trying to make vintage inspired clothes, rewatching the same comfort movies and shows, music, walking. Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga 😍 foo fighters, avril lavigne, tøp, violet orlandi, doris day, judy g. Would like to learn a new language someday and calligraphy. I love handbags and tea cups and alice in wonderland and the secret garden. I think that's enough info I don't really know what else to say

✨ 💙 ✨ ✨ ✨congratulations✨ ✨ ✨💙 ✨

Thank you! Wow yeah that is a while lol. Sorry I don't write for it much anymore :/ but I'm amazed and thankful that you stuck around! <3 <3

I hope you like your ships :)

BBC Sherlock:

I ship you with Sherlock!

You two would definitely have a slow-burn relationship. You became companions fairly easily, but were slow to friendship. Once you spent more time together you warmed up to each other slowly, learning the intricacies of each other, and slowly fell for each other.

Sherlock is not a physical type per se so he would never pressure you to do anything you weren't comfortable with. He is perfectly fine just spending time with you, whether is be sitting around the house, reading, playing music, etc. Or walking around the city together. He doesn't need anything but you by his side.

Even if Sherlock doesn't need anything, he knows your main love language is gift-giving, so he knows each time you buy him something, it is you telling him you love him. So, he never rejects a gift, and even if he doesn't need it he keeps it. It now holds a sentimentality to it that he will protect.

Runner Up Ship: John Watson

-------

MCU:

I ship you with Steve.

Though Steve doesn't mind being physical he is perfectly fine with not being as well. When/if you get to the point you are comfortable with physical touch he will be ready and very caring and gentle as to not cause you any discomfort.

He loves that you like vintage things (he jokes that this is the only reason you love him). He enjoys exploring genres of music, and you two introduce your favorites to each other.

Steve loves spending quality time with you, so he loves going on long walks and having movie nights. He will also buy you gifts when he sees something that reminds him of you (he buys you flowers once a week, and sometimes comes back with an actual plant)

Runner Up Ship: Vision

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #105

(taken january 24th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

What is the age diff between the last two people you kissed romantically? Girt is around four or five years older than Sara. I've honestly forgotten if Sara was a year or two years younger than me.

Whose birthday is coming up next, that you know in your head? My friend Alyssa's.

Who did you last walk a dog with? Colleen, when she lived in the apartment and had to take her dogs outside on a leash to do their business.

If you had to name your kid after an American state, which would you choose? Probably Dakota.

How about if you had to name your kid after a city? Uh... maybe Charlotte? London? Idk, there are WAY too many cities and I don't even know most of them.

Can you burp on cue? Not anymore. I could as a kid, but it's something I actually stopped doing after this one time I was trying to get burps out of my chest as a kid in the car and then after one, for the next three straight days, I constantly felt right on the very precipice of puking. I eventually went to the hospital, but they couldn't find anything wrong, and oddly enough, the next morning I was fine. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life because of how terrified I am of vomiting, and I CONSTANTLY felt ready to just hurl.

What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) Tumble dryer.

Are there are stickers on your computer? No; it's never something I've felt the need to invest in, regardless of how cheap they are. I receive money normally only two times a year, I'm not wasting it on stickers.

Will anything change in the next month? I'll be a year older and it would be REALLY nice if I found a job, too... I'm checking job hunting sites every day lately.

Do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry? Most likely, yeah. Idk what I'd decide if I end up marrying a woman or nonbinary individual, but I feel like I would most likely take their last name, too.

Have you ever had an STD? No.

Do you have a lot of emotional baggage? BOY, DO I

Would you consider yourself artistic? Yeah.

Do you regret your last kiss? Nope.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have A LOT, like over ten. I only regularly see my immediate older sister's three kids, though. My other siblings with kids don't live here.

Do you like techno? Yes.

Are you on good terms with your last ex? No, but it's not something I care about anymore honestly. Is what it is.

Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My dad's oldest daughter is, but I've never met her and he definitely has nothing to do with her either so I don't know stories or anything. I've seen a single picture of her in my entire life.

What kinds of questions do you not like being asked? Employment-related things. Self-care stuff.

List 3 things that peeve you off. People getting pets they can't/don't properly provide for and/or don't do the necessary research, people acting like hot shit for having the "guts" to kill snakes minding their own goddamn business and controlling the pest population, and cringe culture. It is REALLY upsetting to me when people make others feel like shit or dumb or weird because of what makes them happy if it's totally innocent and harms no one. I'm not gonna lie, there are things that illicit the "cringe" reaction out of me, like musicals, but I'm not gonna shit all over them just because *I* don't enjoy them.

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? I don't think I liked anyone, actually.

Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Most likely Alaska, if we were there at a good time to see the Northern Lights.

Do you have Verizon? I have a Tracfone. I want something new and better SO badly.

Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? No. I may like cooler showers if I'm extremely overheated, but not cold.

Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? No.

What has changed most about you in the past year? I take less shit from people, at least. I've gotten better at establishing boundaries and acknowledging and enforcing precisely how I want to be treated.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Definitely not. I'm not a big veggie person at all.

Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I once helped out at a place that was literally a combo of an ATV repair and snake breeding store. I helped clean out the absolutely massive snakes' cages as well as the feeding rats'. It was something I was excited about, but I think I lasted like... two hours because of how terrible a shape my body was/is in but even more so that the heat was unfuckingbearable and I have hyperhidrosis so I was absolutely dying and needed to leave. I sincerely looked like I'd gone swimming.

Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Uh yeah, shamelessly. Those prices are fucking unreal.

How are things between the person you like/love/are with? We're just fine.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Miraculously.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? RAMMSTEIN, FUCKIN EASY 😭

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah, a few times.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? Morning. I favored night showers most of my life, but it's been changed for quite a while now because it's just a good start to the day. Especially when you're someone who struggles to shower as much as they should, it's an ESPECIALLY good start to the day and makes me feel productive.

Are you on birth control? Yes; my period pain is unbearable otherwise.

Why aren’t you in "love" with your last ex? I was never in love with her. I don't know what we had.

What is your favourite dog breed? I have a lot I really love, like akitas and shibas, Saint Bernards, beagles, chow-chows, Mexican hairless, dobermanns...

What website do you visit most often? YouTube.

Do you have a cat? Yeah, my Roman boy. :')

Do you subscribe to channels on YouTube? A lot, even though I don't regularly watch even a third of the channels I've subscribed to. I did actually clean out my subscriptions two days ago, though.

Where do you want to be in five years? Stable job or even building my photography career, my own place with Girt, probably at least engaged if I'm still with him, way healthier and happier, able to drive/have my own car, have more pets...

What food(s) do you refuse to eat? Anything that was hunted for sport. I absolutely WILL NOT. If it was killed with the genuine intent to use it as food and wasn't made by me, then I would MAYBE do it, but I'm definitely not sure on that. You will never see me put oysters/clams, escargot, octopus, or organs like liver and shit in my mouth. There are WAY more that just aren't coming to me rn, I am absurdly picky with food.

Do you have a good relationship with your mom? Yes. I'm alive because of her, and I mean that in WAY more ways than just the fact she gave birth to me.

Do you have a good relationship with your dad? I mean I guess, we get along fine, we just don't interact as much as a father and child should. I love my dad, I do, but he doesn't get any fatherly awards, exactly.

Do you listen to the Beatles? No. I actually hated their music as a kid (not because they were "in," I hated their music when I was too young to even have any concept of that), but now I'm okay with maybe a couple songs as an adult, but I definitely couldn't accurately call myself a fan or even a deliberate listener.

Do you procrastinate often? SEVERELY.

What are you looking forward to? Wednesday so I can see Girt.

Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? They were absolutely not proper "feelings;" I knew lit-erally nothing about Joel OTHER than Jenna liked him and wanted to date. We were two pre-teens that were apparently finding out lust was a thing and I let it get way outta hand until he told me he loved me (which he absolutely, positively did not, but it made me really realize what I was doing).

Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No.

Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No.

Would you let people stare at your boobs? Uh, I wouldn't let a random person do that. If I noticed that happening, I would call them out on it. I don't really care if my partner does, but like, not in public. That's still not okay to me, have some decency.

Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is cool, but his movies are some of the cringiest horror classics from what I've seen.

Have you ever dated your girlfriend's/boyfriend's best friend? No.

What do you think of Rob Zombie? He's cool, I like a lot of his music and general aesthetic. His movies are too raunchy for me though.

Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? I sometimes found the show funny way back in the day, but I haven't watched it or followed the actors for years because I don't support religious bigots.

What kind of person were you in middle school? Weird. Random. Probably very annoying.

Do you have any major regrets in your life? I'll carry my regret for how I treated Jason after the breakup to the grave. That's the biggest, but oh there's more.

Name a TV show that you absolutely can’t stand. I could NEVER watch those shows like Monsters Inside Me that told stories about having internal parasites. FUCK that.

Are you a fast runner? I literally can't run because of my knees.

Have you ever had a concussion? Yes, and I was absolutely fucking miserable. 0/10 do NOT recommend.

Do you listen to heavy metal music? Yeah, that's my fave.

The song you last heard, does it make you think of anyone? I've gotten into "0% Angel" by Mr. Kitty and yeah, it makes me think of Jason. Kinda hurts to listen to but oh well, tired of trauma interferring with shit I can do.

Have you ever donated money to a charity? Yes.

Do you get bored easily? I have anhedonia as a depression symptom. I am very nearly always bored.

Are you good at doing tongue twisters? I'm actually not sure, I don't really try them.

Have you ever been to a drive-in movie? No. I mean, in elementary school we sometimes had movie on the lawn nights, but you didn't stay in your car or anything; you brought towels and stuff to sit in the grass.

Are you good at doing fractions? Hell no. Tbh I don't even know how to add or subtract them anymore if they don't have a common denominator.

What age did you have your first kiss at? I was a month into 16.

Do you regret losing your virginity to whoever you lost it to? I haven't yet but I know I won't if I lose it to who I plan to.

Do you get mad easily? No.

Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? High, if it was just something like weed. I ain't fucking with more serious drugs.

Do you like the Silent Hill movies? First one is fine, though it took some getting used to for me since it changed the OG story's plot so much. It still bothers me that the director chose the mother instead of the father to search for Cheryl/Sharon LITERALLY just because of sexist reasons. The second movie is a fucking catastrophe plot-wise, but I could still watch it JUST because of how much I love the franchise and Pyramid Head is fucking hot lmfao

Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past. This is one of those "it only happened once" things, but I still remember it SO clearly: in kindergarten, we were sharing our favorite sandwiches one day, I answered that mine was bologna, cheese, and mustard, and all the students were so grossed out, doing all these "EWWWW" sounds and stuff and it scarred me for life :')

[ausetkmt]

We live in a world that doesn't have any issue with leaving people in the dust. We work fast, drive fast, eat fast, and move fast, all so we can get to the next item on our agenda (which, spoiler alert, we also complete as quickly as we can). Instead of rushing your way through life, consider making a move toward slow living.

Slow living is all about taking your time so that you can actually enjoy the beautiful things and experiences around you as you go. Who wants to wake up one morning at 85 years old and the only memories you have are the to-do items you checked off your list anyway?

It's all about being intentional with the choices that you make, and spending your time more meaningfully. As someone who lives in one of the most fast-paced cities in the world, I understand if you're feeling hesitant. But even if you aren't ready to overhaul your life, there are a few practices from the slow life movement you can add to your day-to-day to fight burnout. It can be as small as following accounts like Slow Stories that encourage you to live intentionally, or buying a normal alarm clock so your phone is in another room overnight.

Recent trends like quiet quitting or how Marie Kondo isn't tidying anymore reveal how many people have realized that this crazy pace is really just running us into the ground. You're not a robot, so you shouldn't expect your body to go at a superhuman speed! It's vital to set up boundaries so that you are actually able to recharge. We talked to Danielle LaPorte, author of How To Be Loving and creator of the Heart Centered Membership, and Dr. Beth Pausic, Director of Behavioral Health at Hims & Hers, about different ways we can implement intentionality into our daily lives, and how it can benefit our minds and our bodies.

As we get older and busier, it can be tempting to speed up your life to make room for absolutely everything that comes your way. In reality, we should be doing the opposite. "Most of our personal growth is a lesson in learning to slow down. In our productivity-obsessed societies, slowing down is a revolution," says LaPorte.

"Our psyche and bodies are aching for stillness. But the very concept of slowing down can make us panicky," she continues. "The absence of distractions can make us feel vulnerable, exposed to the whims of our emotions (I'm steady! I'm falling apart! I want the city vibe! I want a 'do not disturb' sign for my entire life!)."

Even though forcing yourself to rest can leave you feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions at the beginning, it's actually beneficial for your mind to process everything that has happened over the day. It'll get easier as you get the hang of it, and will help regulate your emotions and improve your focus.

"Feeling constantly rushed will lead to increased stress," says Pausic. "There are numerous impacts that stress can have on our health, both physical and mental. It isn’t sustainable for our mind and body to remain in this state for long periods of time and you will notice the impact." Slowing down and reducing your stress can improve your sleep, decrease anxiety and irritability, and even give you a stronger immune system and improved digestion.

It's fun to discuss the benefits of stillness, but actually putting the lifestyle into practice is easier said than done. After all, it's hard to slow down when you're used to going 100 miles per hour! We've definitely come off a busy week, or even a busy afternoon, and barely been able to sit still.

"Slowing down is about sequencing. It’s not about grinding to a halt or dropping out of your career ambitions (though I highly recommend sabbaticals and radical change.) It’s about when you create stillness," says LaPorte. Make room for these moments in your everyday, like always taking a 10:30 am break for coffee, or implementing a hard stop at the same time every day of your work week.

LaPorte also recommends what she calls a 'stillness sandwich.' "It’s like this: be still in the beginning, rock ’n’ roll in the middle, and be still at the end," she says. At the beginning of anything you do (whether it's the day or a relationship), give yourself time to be still instead of jumping right into your agenda. Since your brain is a blank slate in the morning, LaPorte says it's best to not check your phone, but instead take part in rituals like breath work or gratitude journaling.

"Then, toward the end (of the day, of the project,.. or of a relationship), wrap with active stillness. Think about what you learned that day, where you felt expanded, where you felt contracted. Be still," she says.

Use your cozy night routine to let your mind wander or to practice box breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, and hold for four counts each). Being present, intentional, and grateful can help you focus on what you have instead of always working toward the next big thing. How much of your life right now did you work, pray, or wish for? Were you aware of that fact when you received it, or did you immediately shift to wanting something new?

Letting your brain and soul move slowly can also help you be more aware of the people around you so that you can be a better friend or family member to them. Let's get into some specific areas in which you can practice slow living (plus some book recs from the B+C team):

Work

It might seem counterintuitive, but slowing down can actually improve your workflow. Think of it like charging your phone. If you don't let your phone get all the way to 100%, it will die a lot faster, so giving your brain time to rest will mean that it will work better tomorrow.

"Most times, feeling overwhelmed is a combination of the reality of a hefty workload coupled with time management," says Pausic. "Be mindful about how you are spending your time at work. Be aware of how you are adding to your own stress...Understand that every priority is not a priority. Take some time to figure out what is really important to accomplish first."

Know what your limits are and plan your days and your weeks with those boundaries in mind. You have to protect your time ahead of time so that you don't end up regretting all your commitments retroactively. As far as work itself goes, a clearer focus will help you get your checklist done better and faster.

How Can I Try This?

Set aside time dedicated to only checking emails, take a full lunch break, or give yourself enough time to relax before a meeting. "Plan ahead if you are meeting someone or have an appointment so that you arrive a bit early," Pausic says. "Enjoy not feeling rushed and stressed from being late."

Mornings

Image via Sarah Outeiro/Pexels

Not everyone is a morning person, but giving yourself enough time to actually enjoy your mornings before launching into work will make your day more enjoyable.

"The idea behind an earlier wake up time is so that you don’t feel rushed," says Pausic. "You don’t want to use that time to add in more to do’s. To preserve that extra time as yours, try and prepare what you can the day or evening before. For example, have your outfit picked out or have your bag ready by the door. Use your morning time for self-care, setting your intentions for the day or simply doing nothing."

'Nothing' definitely includes staying off your phone as long as possible. "The mind is very impressionable when we first wake up," says LaPorte. "It's a blank slate, which is why it's best to not check your phone first thing — you are literally programming your brain to fire fire fire on social media's high speed dopamine race." No thanks.

How Can I Try This?

Make a full breakfast and enjoy it sans Netflix, go on a nice walk, or stretch before sitting down at your desk. Wait until you start work to check your phone, or buy a regular alarm clock so that you can keep your phone in the next room all night long.

Time Off

We've all come off a vacation feeling just as tired as we were at the beginning...right? It can feel like we're programmed to rest on vacay, but it is definitely another time where you really have to protect your boundaries and figure out what rest looks like for you.

According to Pausic, the key is an intentional schedule. "Look at ways to block times for either minimal or relaxing activity. Time permitting, set aside the last day of vacation to do the least amount of running around. Having a day to decompress before you return can help with the fatigue of an otherwise busy holiday."

The common thread between every ideal vacation is making sure you don't overbook yourself, and giving yourself permission to do nothing if that's what you need. Somewhere along the lines we decided that doing nothing was harmful instead of beneficial, and that's just not the case, especially when you're overworked.

How Can I Try This?

The most important thing that you can do is tailor your vacation based on what you know you need. If you are short on sleep and need a physically restful vacation, sleep in everyday. If your brain needs a break, spend all day walking around town or going to an art museum, and if you need to rest your hands, engage your mind with a personal growth book or some creative writing prompts.

Self-Care

Image via Brock Wegner/Unsplash

A variety of the elements that make up slow living can also be found in self-care, which means that you can engage in both at the same time! Mindfulness, self-awareness, and relaxation are all key ingredients to our favorite kinds of self-care days. "Be aware of small things throughout the day," Pausic says. "What is your first taste of morning coffee like? Notice the light during the winter afternoon or other seasonal changes."

Giving your brain the space it needs to create original thoughts and work through emotions can help you zero in on the areas of your life that need a little TLC.

"The first rule of self-care is to actually do something that is self-care!" says Pausic. Scrolling through Instagram or filling your free time with to-dos won't make you feel anymore rested.

"Self-care activities should be something relatively healthy that you enjoy and makes you feel good," she continues. "Only you can define that for yourself. If you want to set up a regular practice for self-care, then you have to be mindful about setting time aside to do those things. Don’t think of it as an indulgence, but as something to be incorporated into your routine that will benefit your well-being and make it easier to deal with things when they do get overwhelming."

How Can I Try This?

Spend time on an activity that allows you to set the pace but also engages your mind and your hands, like crafting the perfect iced coffee or doing a puzzle.

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Chloe Williams​

B+C Editorial Assistant, Swiftie | Chloe is originally from the Outer Banks (yes, like the Netflix show!). When she isn't writing or updating her blog Pastels and Pop Culture, Chloe enjoys watching Marvel movies or texting her sister about the latest celebrity news. Say hi at @thechloewilliams on Insta and @popculturechlo on Twitter!

[musikat18]

Hi! Could I request headcanons for Hal Jordan as a dad to little kids, if your still writing for him?? Thank you!!!

O sure! I have a soft spot for the Lanterns so I'm happy to churn out some Content for them, ESPECIALLY now that college is winding down and I get to Not Do It Anymore soon 😃

Hal Jordan as a Father To A Small Child (6 Months to Kindergarten) Would Involve...

He's not ready to be a dad. He is REALLY not ready to be a dad. In fact, he is very nervous about being a dad. He hasn't had one in a while, he's worried he doesn't really know what he's getting into.

Thankfully, (canon has forgotten but I HAVE NOT) he has two brothers who have done the "new dad" thing before, so they can help him at least work out the basics: how to feed a baby, how to keep them clean, how to babyproof a...wherever your Hal is living at this point. Small house, apartment, hotel room, wherever.

Depending on his Earth work situation, it might be easier to handle at some times than others. If he's with Ferris Air, Carol and Tom are more than happy to help out-- Carol seeing how she can help get him some paternal leave extension if needed, Tom offering to help babysit when Hal's wrapped up in other work. Even though he has less job security, he might actually enjoy having a small child in his Toy Salesman era.

For real, imagine him sitting the child on the floor and having them "assess" the toys he's supposed to sell. Cute City.

Also, don't forget, there are a ton of Earth Lanterns who I'm sure would be overjoyed to help Hal take care of the little bundle. If I had to pick two who are the most enthusiastic, I'd have to say Kyle and Simon. Not to mention the wider Corps members not from Earth-- you KNOW Kilowog was a rollercoaster between amusement and adoration when he met Hal's new little pal.

This isn't to say Hal is always perfect at parenting. He sometimes has a hard time reframing the kid's actions to understand them from the perspective of a child who hasn't experienced much and who everything is a little scary to, but he really wants to be a good dad to the kid. He's not going to shirk the responsibility just because it gets difficult.

The ring actually kind of comes in handy. Sometimes a guy just needs an extra set of hands between work and parenthood, and hands happen to be one of the best (and only) constructs Hal can whip up in a pinch.

It actually has sometimes forced him to be a little more creative with his ring and use it in ways he hasn't thought about before, like making little toys for his child to play with while he can't look after them.

Oh, and he cries when he takes the kid to school for the first time. He does. He doesn't really tell anyone, but he does. He has a hard time letting go of them, because he thinks a lot about when he had to let his father go-- and wasn't able to get him back.