#I'm trying real hard to be the shepard

[corpocyborg]

you know what would have been really cool if they wanted a franchise "reset"? a dragon age game set in the age of andraste. that way they wouldn't have to worry about whether past choices matter because they haven't happened yet but it also avoids the problem that andromeda has (in the sense that it doesn't really feel like it's actually the same setting as mass effect) because the narrative would still be deeply tied to the lore of the original games

[average-mako-enjoyer]

crying screaming throwing up 1/3

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I just bitched about the lazy writing and world-building in Mass Effect, but I wouldn't love these games if they didn't have moments where everything was on point (or close to it): the writing, the animation, the voice acting, everything.

Here's one of my favorite scenes, it's very short and I bet you've never thought about it before, but it's so, so good, I'm obsessed with it and I have to scream.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that the only time that Shepard really freaks out is after the Mars mission. It happens right on screen, we don't hear it from someone else, we don't have to headcanon it, we get to see Shepard not as a protagonist, not as a savior of the galaxy, not as a soldier, but as an actual human being, simply scared shitless.

I also love that it starts with Liara immediately realizing what's going on. You can see that she freaks out too, because Shepard is freaking out, and the camera lingers on her reaction as it shifts from fear to sadness to understanding. And then we finally get to see the condition of our favorite Virmire survivor, and it's just oof.

When we go back to Liara, she already knows what to do.

And then we finally get to see Shepard. All these erratic movements are completely out of character. Throughout the three games, we only see Shepard move with some sort of intention (yes, because it's a game, and it's supposed to be that way, but think beyond that; it's also Shepard's characteristic as a person), and there's no intention in this. Shepard is holding on to the examination table, trying to lean down or move forward, and that's because now, in this situation, he can do nothing. No amount of self-sacrifice, quick thinking, tactical advantage, or stupid badassery will help. There's someone on that table he clearly cares about, and he has no say in the matter.

And Liara knows it. She leans forward to look Shepard in the eye and draw his attention to herself. She starts soft and pleading:

And dude, Shepard's expression is everything. It's sad and scared and open... again, completely out of character.

And then we can watch Liara's expression change when she sees that Shepard heard her. Her tone is no longer soft, it becomes quite aggressive.

It is all very deliberate. And it works! Shepard is still terrified, but he furrows his eyebrows and his expression closes. Now he looks more like the Shepard we all know and love.

Another change of tactics, and oh my god. Say what you will about my girl Liara, she is a real MVP here. Notice how she goes soft again and just gives Shepard a suggestion. She knows the best way to snap him out of his panic and sense of sheer helplessness is to push him to start giving orders again.

And again, it works! This sounds and looks like our usual Shepard.

Oh, I love these animations. The change from something hard-assed and in control to something vulnerable... Whoever animated this, let me kiss you on the mouth, let's ride into the sunset. You're beautiful and I love you.

✨Gentle touches✨ Not like our usual Shep at all.

Now to part 2 because I have even more gifs

[callme-holly]

Can you do headcanons for Dally,Ponyboy,Johnny(All separately) dating the Shepards little sister please 😋Like maybe she’s a twin of Angela or just another sister whatever is fine and she’s genuinely got a good heart but is tough and badass and good looking

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐝!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐝𝐞]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - i did my final show last night so im done with everything for a solid six weeks. i'm still taking requests !!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 770 words

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - brief mentions of fighting (i think)

Ponyboy Curtis - 

In the book, we know that Pony and Curly are friendly with one another so you two probably met through Curly. 

I'm getting the vibe that Pony came over to help Curly with homework or something (not that curly bothers with homework) and saw you for the first time and just developed a fat crush on you 

It would probably take a lot of courage on his part to finally ask you out because, not only are you pretty intimidating, but the rest of your family? Scary. 

Honestly, I don’t think the rest of the Shepard siblings would have a problem with you and Pony being together. 

Angela would be so incredibly supportive and she’s definitely there to prepare you for every single one of your dates. She’ll also sit up late with you just to gossip about your relationship because, let's be real, she’s a girl’s girl 

Curly would be a little put out at the fact that you’re dating his buddy but he’d get used to it pretty quick. Be prepared for a lot of teasing on his end. 

I think Tim would be insanely protective of you. He doesn’t show it, but he only wants what's best for you and he’s always got an eye on Ponyboy, even if he’s a nice kid.

He’d probably talk to Darry just to have an extra pair of eyes on the two of you to make sure there’s nothing going on.

All in all, your relationship with Ponyboy would mostly be accepted among your siblings 

Johnny Cade - 

Nobody would expect you to get with Johnny Cade, and honestly, he probably hadn’t expected it either

He probably let it slip to Dallas that he found you absolutely stunning but was too afraid to talk to you because you’re totally badass

Dallas for sure set the two of you up and Tim for sure beat his ass for it afterwards

Johnny is such a sweetheart though, so your siblings weren’t too mad when they found out about the two of you getting together  

Once again, Angela is nothing but supportive and she ships you two so hard that it’s crazy

If Johnny needs help or advice, he’ll go to her because Angela definitely knows you best

Curly probably wouldn’t care all too much. 

It’s not that he doesn’t support, but he doesn’t have a connection with Johnny at all, therefore he probably won't tease the two of you as much. 

Tim, much like with Ponyboy, will be a little wary at first, mainly because he knows Johnny is Dallas’ best friend 

But after he sees that Johnny has nothing but good intentions, he’s definitely supportive

I’d almost go as far as saying he lets Johnny sleep over when he needs it because he understands what it’s like to be apart of a shitty household and he also knows that he isn’t gonna try anything with you

Dallas Winston - 

Oh, Dallas…

He first met you when he was crashing at the Shepard house and he would not stop flirting with you

He kept asking you on dates until you agreed to go out with him

Y’all probably kept it a secret for a while because you know that your siblings wont be too happy about it and boy were you right

They probably caught the two of you in your room one night after Dallas snuck in and it’s safe to say it took a solid week of begging on your part before you were allowed to even look at him again

Angela would send so many death glares to Dallas, it’s a shocker the bullet got to him before she did 

She would be so protective of you, that whenever he;s round, she’s always by your side to make sure he doesn’t hurt you

Curly would make pointless little jabs at the two of you every chance he gets

Either that, or he’s doing everything he can to ruin Dal’s life

Dont even get me started on Tim’s reaction. 

He’d beat the shit out of Dallas for even thinking about you. Nobody touches his sister. At least nobody who goes by the name of Dallas Winston. 

I think after a while, and after they see that Dal has mostly good intentions, they’d let him off the hook a little. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have a constant eye on the two of you.

You and Dallas would honestly make such a power couple though. Y’all are definitely the most feared duo in Tulsa and he loves that 

[m-jelly]

actress reader x levi where reader does a seggs scene with someone else and levi sees it on film and gets jealous? all fluff!

The panting and slight hums didn't seem familiar, but it was still you. Clearly, you were wearing something to cover your body, but it was still you. The way you smiled at the alien lover was believable to everyone but Levi because he knew your real smile, but it was still you.

"Levi?" You walked into the living room with a gift you'd bought him. "Leviii?" You looked up and saw what was on the TV. "Oh, that's my new movie!" You hurried around the sofa and sat next to Levi. "What do you think?" You hugged his arm and smiled. "I finally got to do a space movie like I always dreamed of!"

Guilt hit Levi hard, he felt bad that he'd gotten jealous over a sex scene in a movie you had dreamed of doing. He knew you loved space and now you were this incredible space Captain like Commander Shepard from a game you adored.

"I uh..." He shifted in his seat. "You are incredible in this movie. You play the Captain so perfectly. Your fight scenes are so impressive. Your character is so kind, sweet, strong and fair. You're impressive." He released a long sigh. "You..." He pouted hard. "Your romance...with the handsome alien man?"

You tilted your head. "Mm?"

"It was...it..." He huffed. "Did you have to have sex with him?"

You frowned a moment. "I didn't?"

He pointed at the TV. "You're naked with him right there!"

You looked at the TV to see the morning after. "Oh, you mean the sex scene? God, those are so fucking awkward. You have to be all taped up, there are hot lights over you, lots of people watching. You get directed to do every single move. They keep saying cut to adjust makeup and hair. I had makeup in odd places. Every blemish, mole or tattoo had to go. I felt very far from me possible. Plus, my co-star's makeup and prosthetics had to be fixed cause he had them all over his body."

Levi's jealousy slowly reduced. "Really? Is it that bad?"

You whined. "Yes. I really hate doing them for movies. I ask for them to take them out. I don't think they add to the movie or TV shows at all." You hugged your legs. "Plus, it's out there for everyone to see. Makes me feel a bit sick knowing some guy has it on repeat and he's just.." You sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see it. I'm trying to stop them."

He yanked you into his arms and held you. "I didn't realise they're so awkward and what it could mean also." He kissed your cheek a few times before kissing you. "I love you."

"I love you so much."

He held you against him. "My precious brat."

You snuggled up to him. "I did love that movie. I'm excited to do a second one with the character, but it will also mean possibly another sex scene." You threw yourself against Levi. "I don't really want to."

Levi rubbed your back. "Poor brat." He massaged his fingers in your hair. "How about I be the body double?" He smiled when you gazed at him. "I know some actors and actresses get their partner to stand in for kissing scenes and sex scenes so it's less awkward. So?"

You grinned. "That'd be amazing! I'd love to suggest that." You cupped his face. "You'd look sexy as an alien." You kissed the end of his nose. "I just want to ravage you."

Levi dragged you onto his lap. "That sounds exciting."

You straddled him and cupped his face. "Levi, you're the only man for me." You gasped. "I got you a gift!"

"Really?"

You showed him a ring box and opened it. "I saw this on my way back from my interview and I thought it was perfect for you."

Levi gazed at the black ring. "It's incredible...I can't believe you're proposing...I was going to this weekend on our date!" He shifted you off him and hurried to his office before running back to you. He sat on the sofa and presented you with a ring. "See?"

You gazed at the ring, it was so perfect and delicate. "Levi..."

His smile slowly faded and a blush consumed his cheeks. "You weren't proposing."

You giggled. "Well, I have been thinking about it. I love you, Levi. I want to marry you. So, will you marry me?"

He growled as he said your name. "Will you marry me? I was thinking it first."

"Yes."

He kissed you. "Yes." He slipped your ring on your finger. He took the black ring and put it on his hand. "I can't believe that a sex scene led to our engagement."

You dove at him as you giggled. "Yes. My handsome Levi. I love you."

He gripped you tightly. "I love you more."

Tag list under the read more.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a

@youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity

@nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08

@levistealeaf @pelicanpizza @hideandgopeep @notgoodforlife

@demonic-bird @searriously

[ghostofthemost141]

"What's this?" Alejandro demanded.

You were confused seeing Graves and the Shadow Company people surrounding the gate to you and Alejandro's base. You took notice of the Shadow people surrounding you and your colleagues. It brought a chill down your spine and you immediately got a bad feeling in your gut. Something was not right.

"This is the immediate future, step away from the gate." Graves announced.

What? You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"What?" You cried out in disbelief.

"You heard me." Graves snared at you.

Your blood boiled with anger. You never heard such disrespect from someone, let alone someone who isn't even on your team.

"You're crazy, this is my base." Alejandro said.

You stood close to your boss, to hide the fact that you were gripping the small pistol you had in your back pocket. This could get ugly real quick but you would do it in a heartbeat to not only protect your Colonel but Task Force 141 that you have grown fond and close with.

"It's not a base," Graves started which only made you want to pop his head even more, "this is a sizable covert facility and I admire it. So I'm taking it."

No. No, he can't do that. There's no way he can do that. This was our base, our facility, our everything. Our home, you frantically thought. Your heart raced even faster than it did.

"You boys and gal," Graves made a point to smirk at you as he said that, "thank you for your service."

"No, no, no I don't take orders from you." Alejandro said.

You could feel that your Colonel was trying to keep himself cool and collected as he should be, but it was getting hard to do so.

"Didn't Valeria say that?"

He did not. You started to pull out your gun but felt a strong hand push down on your hand as Graves kept talking. You turned to see who it was and it was Sergeant Soap. His blue eyes pierced at you, and he shook his head at you. He knew what you were thinking and you felt as though he wanted to do the same thing as you did, but he knew it would turn real ugly. You sighed, removing your hand from your gun.

"What the fuck did you just say to me, pendejo?" Alejandro growled, stepping forward towards Graves.

You immediately pressed your hand onto the Colonel's chest, preventing him from doing any damage, Soap's small action towards you getting through to you. Alejandro looked down at your hand on his chest, knowing immediately it was your hand, but kept his scowl on Graves.

"You're out of line, Graves." Soap sternly said, approaching Graves as well.

"Don't do that. Don't.." Graves paused to glare at the three of you, "do that. No needs to get hurt here."

There was a small, intense pause with silence between all of you with the hard rain pattering on the road to accompany the silence.

"Are you threatening us?" Ghost's voice came from the corner.

The Ghost. Just from what you have seen in the short time y'all have done missions together, you knew he was a great fighter and solider. His alias name was very true to it's name.

"Soilder, I don't make threats."

Yeah right. You felt Alejandro shift his footing, causing your hand to fall from his chest. Same with Soap, realizing that it was taking two people to stop your Colonel from plummeting Graves.

"I make guarantees. So let's not do this." Graves eyed everyone, feeling the tension in the air get thicker.

"I'm calling Shepard." Soap announced.

Yes, their boss. Do it Soap.

"General Shepard sends his regards."

What?

"He told me y'all wouldn't take this well."

I couldn't believe it.

"He knows about this?" Ghost frantically asked, who visibly had the same reaction as you did or what you could tell from his mask.

"He has put me in command of this operation from here on out. So y'all need to stand down and it's time to let the pros finish this." Graves announced.

Chills rapidly went down your body. You were scared for once in your life. You didn't know what was going to happen. You stood closer to your Colonel who then pushed you back.

"Cam, stay back." Alejandro whispered and called you by your call sign so quietly that you could barely hear.

You had a feeling that your Colonel knew what was going to happen.

"Why the hell are we talking like this is some kind of negotiation? It's not. I've got my orders, and you have yours." Graves finished, adding fuel to the fire.

"And who the fuck do you think you are, cabrón?" Alejandro snared with rage, "my men are inside!"

"I'm afraid not."

Fuck.

"Your men have been...detained."

Oh my god. Oh shit. He is going to pounce. You just knew it. And he did. Before you could even jump in, you were pushed down onto your back, taking notice of Graves zip tieing his hands together.

"Colonel!" You cry out as shots were staring to fire.

You try to crawl over to help him, but a Shadow kicked you upside your head, causing your vision to blur. Shots were being fired, everyone was shouting, but the only person on your mind was your Colonel, Alejandro. Just as you were about to reach him, Graves took the butt of his gun and hit him up against his head with it, knocking Alejandro out.

"NO! Tu jodes!" You screamed, attempting to tackle Graves.

You managed to scratch his face until he kicked you down, hitting your head against the hard road. His gun was pointed at you and you felt your heart race as if you knew this was the end. At least you didn't go down without a fight.

Suddenly a gunshot rang out, hitting Graves right on his shoulder and knocking him back.

"Cam, let's go!" A deep accented voice called to you.

It was Soap and Ghost. You immediately took Soap's hand as he helped you to his feet. The two of you took off running, with Ghost trailing behind y'all. Soap tried to prevent you from looking back but you couldn't help yourself as you had seen your beloved Colonel get shoved into the G-Wagon. Before he was even fully into the vehicle, the three of you were gone from sight, disappearing into the deep woods of Las Almas. Once the three of you were far from Graves and the Shadow Company, the three of y'all stopped to recollect.

"Fuck! Alejandro." You croaked, coming to terms with what happened.

"We will get him back, Cam." Soap tried to comfort you.

And while you appreciate it, your mind was racing so much to even realize he was trying to pull you into a hug.

"Mierda.." You mumble, feeling the tears peak out of your eyes.

You truly felt defeated. You embraced Soap's hug, knowing he was trying to keep you calm.

"Alejandro is a tough guy. He will be okay." Ghost piped up.

"I know. It's just.." You paused, wondering if you should tell the two Brits.

Both Soap and Ghost were silent and looking at you, waiting for you to finish.

"Well, Alejandro and I.. we are seeing each other."

Soap's eyes went wide while Ghost remained neutral.

"I had no idea. You both hide it well." Soap complimented.

"You two act like no one can see the two of 'ou holding hands in the vehicle, but everyone knows." Ghost remarked.

You roll your eyes at him.

"Thanks, man." You say, "we need to make it to Alejandro's safe house. There's equipment there and everything we need to fight back."

"How do we get there?" Ghost asked.

"I know the way." You say.

"Well, lead the way Mrs. Vargas." Soap said.

You couldn't help but chuckle at that, knowing Soap meant good intentions behind it. As you led the men to Alejandro's safe house, you just hope they can manage to keep it a secret, like Rudy has, until you both retire.

END

A/N: A little drabble I came up with! I hope y'all enjoyed it.

[mediawhatwiveswatch]

The Wives Watch: Supernatural S2 E11-E13

Passing the halfway point! Things are heating up at the Winchesters!

E11 - Stop demolishing pretty buildings

The house is so pretty who cares about the ghosts

Haunted dolls!!

Everytime the boys talk emotions we gotta break the meme back out

Brits insulted, scooby doo mentioned, voodoo spotted, hotel trivago

So like everyone assumes their dating? It's like 2007 were people this chill about sharing beds?

"You look the type" - Gay or Antiquers? Basically the same thing. ('but antiquing is so fun!' 'we aren't breaking the stereotype')

Very pretty dress nailed to the wall. Thats not how decor works

Butler: "All my family has lived here and I'm very sad that I might have to leave" Dean: "I wonder who would want to do hoodoo to keep this place open"

Homophobe Dean vs Ally Sam. Who will win

The truest of sibling behaviour: Making up lies to embarrass your little bro

Who puts their grandma in the attic?? That is asking for evil spirits

On the ghost's side again, demolishing pretty house should be a crime

Every so often they swap Dean and Sam's opinions on whether dad is a dick. This time dean gets to right

Sam sleeping on his front is the most evil thing he's done

Do people not like hearing old people tell stories? It's fun!

"I've never had a home" DEAN STOP TRAUMADUMPING TO THE MAYBE EVIL BUTLER

We went from secret evil twin to secret evil fake sibling

If we had a nickel for every time there was a haunted evil car on this show we'd have two nickels. That's one each

You don't get to call the boys insane after witnessing the most stereotypical haunting ever

Maggie is a Little Freak (derogatory)

This pool is so pretty!!!

This house is really well built?? Very strong glass??

None of these morons know to do CPR on a newly drowned girl

Good to know this little girl can dress normally when not being haunted by her evil great aunt who just murdered attic grandma

E12 - Mandroids Play Among Us

Do we fear the FBI more than the demons? Yes

Dean says ACABATJ (All Cops Are Bad At Their Jobs)

Ronnie boy knows whats up

Cybermen!! Doctor Who Reference!!

MANDROIDS?? Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis are playing copyright games

Poor Ronnie getting his dreams crushed

Sam too good at being a cop. He was made for this. Pre Law babyy

"I like him, he says okie dokie"

This hostage is a snitch. Let the guy keep his knife

Locked in a safe with a girl who's got a crush on your brother is Sam's idea of Hell

Free Goop! Yum!

The boys once again run into amateur hunters and teaching them basics

The cops continue to be useless <3

Rip to Ronnie. He was built different

ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ

Honestly feel bad for the Winchester assigned FBI agent. Must be a hard life

NGL telling the hostage takers that you don't wanna be released and will just vibe in the vault is a powermove even if its because your a shapeshifting murderer

Its even more of a powermove when you aren't a shapeshifting murderer!!

Mr FBI agent giving FHJY Agent Clark Energy

NGL telling the hostage takers that you don't wanna be released and will just vibe in the vault is a powermove even if its because your a shapeshifting murderer

Its even more of a powermove when you aren't a shapreshifting murderer!!

Mr FBI agent giving FHJY Agent Clark Energy. He's on the hunt for the most elusive german shepard and will never win

Sam and Dean said "Free disguises!"

E13 - Priests Fail To Understand Theology

Spent most of the time trying to guess if this is a Protestant thing or if they're just wrong

The Whole Episode:

Televangelism is scary and we're right for saying it

Sam you are not a medical professional PLEASE STOP GIVING THERAPY

ANGEL EPISODE?? IS IT TIME???

The brothers can't get mad at being considered gay when their booking rooms together at sex hotels. You can afford separate rooms please!

Insane bed. Are those real??

Can you have demons without angels? Does Dean consider demons non-religious?

Love finding some fingernails in the walls. A great thing to happen in a murdered guys cellar

Supernatural implying that demons are front line workers and angels are line managers

Good Omens crossover continues

Is the B plot going to be about the sex bed??

Hacker man Sam

All these guys went to church? How shocking!

In todays episode we learn about being innocent until proven guilty

Hard turn into religion from Closet Christian Sam!

They have implied that Spongebob is holy

Dean really said only one person gets to murder strangers

This priest didn't study. You ain't holy you just got shot. Men don't become angels, they get sainted, which you didn't

B Plot (C Plot?) of Dean getting to do a car chase!

Creep got final destinationed. Good.

In todays episode we learn about being innocent until proven guilty

Hard turn into religion from Closet Christian Sam!

They have implied that Spongebob is holy

Dean really said only one person gets to murder strangers

This priest didn't study. You ain't holy you just got shot. Men don't become angels, they get sainted, which you didn't

B Plot (C Plot?) of Dean getting to do a car chase!

Creep got final destinationed. Good.

{{11% through}}

Spent way too long making that among meme. Paint crashed and had to redo it all. Deserves more respect

Looking forward to the boys getting FBI'd again soon

[omegastation]

Once saw someone describe ME as copaganda and honestly... I feel like that's a 100% accurate statement. It honestly dampens my enjoyment of the saga. Genie is out of the bottle, as they say.

Open contempt for civilian agencies, check. Repeated instances where they present fascism as a Good Thing Actually, check. Cops and military almost unilaterally depicted as correct and just, check. Ones like Harkun are treated as merely bad apples and hand-waved away whereas any and all politicians are treated as incompetent at best or outright corrupt/malevolent at worst. Not to mention the whole thing with Khalisah al-Jilani.

Idk. It all just feels so dim-witted and mean-spirited.

There are a lot of good things that make me love it with all my heart, and things that are not so good. I try to do my best to acknowledge the bad stuff and remain critical. So yeah, I do agree that some elements of the trilogy should be analyzed closely because it's kinda fucked-up.

Genie is out of the bottle, I find that the expression explains a lot. Because Mass Effect is a product of its time and place, and /insert the speech from LOTR/ the world has changed. I don't mean to say that it was never this bad, because I think it was, but we now are getting images, videos and live updates all the time showing us exactly how bad it is. We see so much suffering and injustice. And it's us "outside". Some are inside, and they're the ones showing us how bad it is. So... It's harder to see specific themes, stories and characters that are unchallenged. It's harder to see injustice being portrayed, even if the content doesn't always condone it.

I also think we are more critical in general. We are, unfortunately, used to specific issues so it's easier to recognize when they appear in fiction. I can really see that in the way people talk about specific characters. People idolize less, and I honestly think that's an improvement, because idolatry, at least how I see it, is not about seeing characters or stories as they are, but putting them on a pedestal. Characters are complex and flawed, and that's what makes them interesting. Real growth happens when characters change and adapt and rethink their position. Sometimes it means they have to look inside themselves and see the ugliness, and that means we get to see the ugly too. Not only that, but we can also contemplate what is ugly inside us, and see what we can do to change and grow. But not so long ago, before my hiatus, it was really hard to step away from "this character is a god" or "this character is flawless and if you don't see it you're not a fan" and "no no i can't see this issue at all, doesn't exist, lalalala" talk. Now it's harder for people not to see the issue. But the issue was always there.

You talked about Khalisah. I saw a meme on FB recently that says that if we can't hit someone like Khalisah in the new Mass Effect, we shouldn't bother playing it, which to me is 1. disturbing, 2. missing the fact that wars need journalists and reporters, even someone like Khalisah who is not always playing fair. I don't understand the option to hit her. I've ranted about it enough here. If you don't hit her, you get to encourage her and reassure her. It's obvious she's falling apart and she needs to be reassured. One of my favorite quotes in the game is what Shepard tells her: "Keep asking the hard questions." That's what is needed in a time of war. And sure, this one beautiful interaction and line won't take away the fact that some choices can feel mean-spirited but to me, it means it's not black & white. I see the ugliness, I do, but I also see the beauty.

IDK where I'm going with this. I guess that Mass Effect was never flawless and unproblematic, and in a way, I think it's a good thing that issues are seen and we can have a critical look at the worst parts of the trilogy.

But what is very specific to you, anon, is what you can tolerate, appreciate or enjoy. Some parts of the trilogy make me sad and or angry but it doesn't stop me from really enjoying the whole. If you find that you don't get to enjoy it anymore, because too many elements make it difficult to appreciate and it's now a real dislike, don't forget that you can step away. I'm not telling you that you have to do it. You can do what you want, but don't forget that you don't have to force yourself to love something. It's okay to move away from things because you now find them disappointing.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

If you're so inclined, you should say more about Casseiopeia! She's so pretty, I always love hearing about people's Shepards ♡ she's spacer/survivor, right? what class? who's your favorite squadmate so far? welcome to mass effect!! (Don't forget, you're here forever 😈)

Hello!!! Thank you for asking I LOVE getting asks like these about my ocs and characters ❤️❤️❤️ people have been very welcoming into this fandom space too which fills me with such joy!

This is Cassiopeia Shepard; shes a soldier, spacer and survivor. I'm about halfway through the game so Im not fully caught up in everything, so plez bare in mind certain lore gaps I may have.

Cassi grew up travelling from space ship to space ship with her military parents; she's adapted to be likable, pleasant, fine to be around; but nobody is CLOSE to her, you know? She's a popular kid, but she doesn't have any friends, because what's the point in making close connections when everyone leaves anyway?

She didn't think much about whether to join the military; it's just what you do right? Her parents did it, she was gonna do it too. If nothing else it would mean she'd get to stay out in the stars. Cassi wasn't born in space, but she might as well have been. Real gravity feels more artificial to her than the artificial stuff. She loves the stars. She just wants to be out with them. It's where she feels the least lonely, the happiest.

When she joined up with the alliance, she worked a bit harder to become a bit closer with some of her squad mates; the first time she ever had been. But then...Akuse. they all died. And so she learnt; well. The first time she tried to get close to people properly she lost them. She always looses people: they die or they go away so there's no point trying to hold on tight.

This uhhhh has kinda messed up her concept of relationships. she's got Hella commitment issues. She thought Liara was hot but she came on too strong and so Cassi cut and run. As for Kaiden...well. their flirtings pretty subtle given the difference in rank. She's excited to sleep with him! They're good friends. She might cut and bolt the moment it gets too serious though, which WILL be hard because shes not aware how far she's fallen down that hole.

Her bestie on board is Ashley, because she gets it. She had military parents too, and she might have grown up on world but she's still on Cassis wavelength even if Cassi is deeply jealous can't relate to the whole huge family loads of siblings thing. Ashley is chill; they drink together and play cards and if Ashley ever asked Cassi would try her damnest to get over her commitment issues because she's maybe a bit in love but maybe that's just because Ashley is unattainable or maybe it's because she's hot and Cassi would like to [Redacted]

I'm so excited to keep going with her and learn more about her and her personality!!! I'm sure I'll share with as we go but thanks for asking about her!! Always happy to answer questions about Cassi (or any of my ocs tbf)

(also thanks to @oh-no-who-took-my-sushi for being a soundboard for literally all my ideas but especially my Cassi ones and listening to me ramble about her as she forms in my head)

[oldxenomorph]

can I be absolutely cuckoo bananas insane for a moment and ask, from one yapper to another, for ALL THE QUESTIONS from that meme 😤😤😤

CHARACTER ASKS.

as part of the national yapper coalition, i have to oblige. let me just put everything under a cut because man this got long. i yap and i am a sap. i love the reaper emperor so much 😭💕

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

originally, i played mass effect and mass effect 2 on my cousin's xbox 360. the series changed my life and the rest is history.

but eventually i learned that there's so much more joy and light when you hunt the original canon for sport and send it to the anatomical opera to be vivisected and experimented on. eventually the emperor and her version of mass effect became an outlet for me to be cringe, but free. everything i enjoy (mass effect, cthulhu mythos, alien, dune, wh40k, hellsing, hades) all gets thrown in there.

How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

i think i made my first sketches of the emperor in 2012, back when mass effect 3 came out. so over 10 years. the difference between then and now is pretty drastic. she's had different iterations over the years, but eventually i shaped her and shaped her until i was finally happy with how she looked.

the things that have remained constant for all these years: alien pale skin, vantablack hair, black lips, red cybernetic eyes and scars.

this final version of her forms bring me a lot of joy. she is true to how i envision her, and she continues to be the entity/story i pour most of my time, energy, and inspiration into. she's my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time centipede. (she's the reason why it's so hard for my to make other oc's, i'm dedicated to her. i dream about her, i think about her.)

What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

appearance, probably. i thought it was very cool that you can make a goth shepard who looked even more cool in mass effect 2 with the renegade scars and red cybernetics in her eyes.

And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

personality. i think for a long while, as i was trying to adhere to the canon the best i could. renegade shepard as she is presented in the game didn't quite match how i envisioned her, she didn't feel quite right whenever i wrote her. for a long while she was a brutal hard-ass and a stickler for military regulations. i didn't feel creative, nor did i feel any real joy.

How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

this would require you knowing what the emperor's true name is, haha. [i get yoinked into a vent by a xenomorph tail]

in-universe: only immediate family members and nyx know the emperor's true name. neither azathoth nor shai-hulud know how she got her name, other than it was probably given to her by the thing that created them. it was the sound they heard when she was born, it was the word seared into their minds. they don't refer to her by her name because they feel it is too sacred to ever be uttered so freely. hence why they refer to her as "precious extinction", "precious emperor", "o precious centipede", "o end of all things," etc.

out of universe answer: when you grow up in the 90s/2000s and your name is also the same as a very popular disney character and nobody your age believes you when you say that you were named after a character from shakespeare's the tempest (your mother's favorite play), you learn to hate your name. i think giving shepard/the emperor my name was a way for me to feel good about myself and it just stuck. very corny, i know.

(i obviously don't hate my name anymore. i'm also fairly certain that because of the source of my name, my brain internalized the idea of an immensely powerful non-human who has a love for humanity.)

What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?

well first came the renegade scars and red cybernetics, i loved those, but i wanted to redesign the way the scars looked so they were more.... mysterious. more.... brutal.

as i sent the canon off to the anatomical opera, i began to shape her to be something that i think reflects her strange nature, her connection to her family, and visually indicate that she is the mother of the xenomorphs.

i'm also someone that uses faceclaims as they help me visualize my own character better (when i have no time to draw). the emperor's gone through a couple (lady gaga when her hair was black, cate blanchett as hela) before i finally settled on rhea ripley as i think she best represents the emperor's facial structure, body type, and aesthetic.

for her true form, i had a slightly more eldritch version of a xenomorph queen in mind. ultimately i changed it when i received inspiration after seeing some cool centipede-monster-hybrid art on my dash and pictures of centipede mothers. so her true form is more like a colossal, 30ft xenomorph-centipede hybrid with her face. also thematically, it fits more in line with azathoth and shai-hulud as ancient worms. the youngest and most beloved and most worshipped sibling should be a beautiful centipede.

What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?

if i say everything, that would be cheating i'm sure.

aside from her face, i think what i like the most about the emperor's appearance is her second form’s body. i didn't want her to have a femme biomechanical body as it didn't really suit her, felt ill-fitting. her very masculine, muscular xenomorph-biomechanical body, making her 15 ft tall, giving her tentacles and a xenomorph tail feels right to me. i wanted both of her forms to be both very strange, but also very beautiful. i didn't want her appearance to adhere to any gender binary, she exists and operates beyond that.

What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

little to no projecting, lmao. our only similarities is our place of origin, our love for nyx, the xenomorphs, our families, and humanity? i guess?

but the emperor's personality is very different from that of canon shepard, because oh my god there are some things She Would Not Say or Do.

the origin of a lot of the emperor's personality is alucard from hellsing: arrogant, cruel, sadistic, but she is also unashamed of her love for humanity. she believes that the cycles of organic life should be as diverse as possible, that the stories of civilizations should be equally triumphant and tragic. the cycles of extinction are a necessity, yet she also revels in brutality, violence, and eating, eating, eating.

she loves deeply, with all her heart and all her soul. she will do anything to protect her wife and her daughters and her family. she hates deeply, with every every fiber of her being. she takes greatly enjoys eating stars and organic life and lesser beings. she loves who she is, knows what her purpose is, knows exactly what she is.

How big is their role in the story? Do they make a frequent appearance or are they a character with little "screentime" but big influence? Or are they just a favourite background guy?

shepard is the main character of mass effect, thus the entire canon mostly revolves around the emperor/shepard. the perspective shifts to the great family and nyx when she's asleep for 8 million years until her second shape (shepard) is born. it also changes when you get into different universes and worlds where the emperor is just an unseen force that shapes the way civilizations evolve and advance.

it's been interesting exploring different universes where the emperor is the latter, like in dragon age and warhammer 40k. i like exploring the idea of the looming dread of her arrival in a far future and the race to prepare the world/galaxy for extinction. also, i have a hard time making other oc's, so everything is connected back to the emperor.

What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?

the emperor-as-shepard's time amongst humanity and organic life was to learn and develop a reason for why they must be harvested: to preserve the history and diversity of organic life, to make way for new civilizations and new histories. she could only do this by living amongst humanity, by enduring what she endured as a commander.

of course she gets a happy ending. she gets a second form that she loves along with her first one, the wife that she adores, the daughters she cherishes, the machines that were made for her, and reunited with the family that worships her. there are no sad endings here, that's just not my style.

Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?

as i mentioned before, alucard from hellsing is the blueprint for the emperor. her appearance, her personality, her beliefs about organic life. it all goes back to him. even though she's not as sad as him nor does she wish to find a worthy opponent, most of what she is as an eldritch being that is equally brutal as she is empathetic all stems from him. underneath all of her horror and strangeness is a sense of humanity.

in terms of physical appearance, it also kind of goes back to alucard. hellsing was very much a core formative influence for me and he just immediately imprinted upon my brain. one of my oldest muses. i give him a kiss.

i think the funniest sort of resemblance i've noticed that the emperor of mankind (wh40k) looks like a healthier, more human version of her. or maybe it's the neurons in my brain activating when i realized that they both have long black hair. that's all they really have in common.

(maybe nyx can ask the mi-go to make the emperor a black and red crown of laurels with little young black holes scattered amongst them? but the little xenomorphs would probably yoink it off her head constantly to play with it.)

Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?

i do have one, but it's in a perpetual un-finished state. i'm very picky when it comes to making playlists.

the genres i typically associate with the emperor are noise, experimental, dark ambient, dark techno, industrial. i like songs with harsh, unsettling, or unusual sounds. (i know people hate to see me make playlists because i put lorn in almost every single one.)

i mostly try to find things that would either sound like what it's like inside of a reaper, or inside the ziggurat. i also try to find things that give the feel of what high level indoctrination sounds like.

Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?

when the emperor speaks, her voice is that of soveriegn's but deeper. it is an immense and cold sound, like that of a machine; alive, immortal, infinite, and eternal.

i also pull inspiration from the voice of magos dominus reditus from wh40k: mechanicus.

(i watched the venture bros. a lot on adult swim when i was a youngin' and dr. girlfriend permanently altered my brain chemistry. and maybe my perception of gender.)

Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?

from sovereign's dialogue.

"there is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. i am beyond your comprehension." "we are eternal. the pinnacle of evolution and existence. before us, you are nothing. your extinction is inevitable. we are the end of everything." "we impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. you exist because we allow it. and you will end because we demand it." "we have no beginning. we have no end. we are infinite. millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure."

from the reaper on rannoch's dialogue.

"you represent chaos. we represent order. every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. it is inevitable."

Have you ever made a moodboard for them?

i have a pinterest board for her! i'm not super active on pinterest (as it's become mostly generative ai slop) but i occasionally poke my head in when i'm looking for something.

Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

nyx likes to lightly tease her, which she doesn't mind. (anything to hear nyx's beautiful laugh.)

out of universe jokes? o great reaper emperor, can you help me connect to the wifi?

i do think that a kind of running joke/theme in my writing is that the great family seems to be in competition for who spoils her the most.

nyarlathotep can try his hardest, but doesn't come close to shai-hulud, who kills millions of little sandworms so it can send her crates of the water of life. which she has consumed ever since she was a baby and the universe was brand new. the old worm of eternity also sends her spice, in face she is the only being who it gifts spice to and is allowed to enjoy it recreationally.

Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

puts my hands on my hips and exhales. man.

the sign of extinction - the symbol of the reaper emperor and her house. beautiful, sacred, holy, embroidered in vibrant red upon the black veil she wears to conceal her face when outside. a representation of her and her presence beyond the reapers. it is an eye, a gate, a mouth.

black holes - her imperial crown is formed from an ancient black hole and was placed upon her head by nyog'sothep and nyarlathotep, her stomach/endless appetite, her vantablack hair, the pull of gravity, event horizon, her black lips, her black teeth, her heartbeat, the mouth of god.

the black tar - annihilation, thick and viscous black liquid, bloodline, the material from which she birthed the xenomorphs and the tyranids, that which she fills nyx with every night, black ichor mixing with black tar to create new xenomorphs, new daughters full of stars.

tonalli, teyolía, ihíyotl - the head, the heart, the liver. the soul in three parts. each favored to be devoured by extinction.

death of the sun - her eyes, the death cycle, red giant, the end of earth.

tentacles - thick and black tentacles, strength, instruments of love and pleasure, home, safety, the horror her presence and beauty, the immensity of her presence and power, the reach of her influence. she holds her daughters close, she caresses her wife; writhing, dipping into flesh, crushing gravity.

machine voice/biomechanical body - the reapers, harbinger, indoctrination, cycles of extinction.

some of these overlap with each other and there's probably a lot more i can't think of at the moment.

Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?

me, becoming the girl crying while drawing meme whenever i try to chart out the great family. (also this is by no means accurate to ol' howard phillips lovecraft's original tree and/or the additions made by authors after him. this is my personal real estate.)

azathoth - nyarlathotep - yhouneh (marriage) - slaanesh (consort) - lilith (child) - alucard (consort) - nyog'sothep - yog-sothoth - shub-gorgoroth (marriage) - cthulhu - idh-yaa (marriage) - ghatanothoa, ythogtha, zoth-ommog, cthylla (children) - kassogtha (consort) - nctosa and nctolhu (children) - hastur - cassilda (marriage) - camilla (child)

(not including all of the extra lovers taken and children sired by various members of azathoth's line because then this list would be stupidly long and my brain hurts.)

shai-hulud - sandworms (children) - chani kynes (granddaughter)

the emperor - the xenomorphs (children) - tyranids (children, as they were created from her blood) - nyx (marriage) - nemesis - celestial xenomorphs (children with the emperor)

(also not including the rest of nyx's children that she had on her own because they mostly are not involved with the great family)

What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

my favorite thing(s) about her is that she is so beautiful and strong and she loves her wife, her daughters, and her family so much.

my least favorite thing is that i overdesigned her and now she has too many details i have to keep track of. i did this to myself.

Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

continues to show everyone this incredible art of the emperor by @fatherentropy like i'm a beauty influencer.

a thing i want to write more of is nyx and the emperor interacting with other people, be the great family or other members of the house of hades. because i mostly write lemons and/or them being sweet, loving mothers of the xenomorphs and tyranids.

and mostly because i want to utilize the emperor's size more, especially in the gestures and touches nyx does in order to show everyone that the emperor belongs to her. (especially if she's wearing something nyx commissioned for her. hehehe.) oh look at all these ovomorph-shaped lemons i have acquired.

[pumpkinsy0]

I saw a post that said pony would b the awkward one standing at the back of the room during family reunions and I'm SOOO curious how this would go down if curly invited him to a shepard family reunion (and vise versa honestly) sooo hcs for that??

whoever said that was SO real (im totally not saying this bc i do the same all the time u til its time to go home)

•ok now look, out of his while family, like extended included, the shepards were like the ONLLLYYYYY ones to move to TULSA, so if this whole family reunion thing is going down, that would mean the shepards have to travel out of tulsa to whatever other state be it ny or florida, some other state where theres a more present haitian group!! pony tagged along cause curly offered and its like a free vacation but dude,,,,ponys wayyy out of his element here fish out of water, we gotta give him some empathy

•literally the only white guy in the whole place and everyone else is speaking kreyòl, he dunno what anyone is saying, he refuses to make eye contact w anyone, its sooo bad😭😭

•words cant explain how many times hes heard ”kiyès blan an” “li avèk nou” “oh?”, he even does that white person smile and a small wave, god bless him. he wouldve stayed in the back the while time but curly was dragging him around to meet everyone

•speaking of meeting everyone, ponys not ashamed of his name but he’d prefer not to get made fun of by ppl hes only gonna see once and curlys told him how long his aunts can talk shit, he was worried how they would react to his name and internally cringed seeing them laugh at it, a part of him wished he just faked a name this one day

•the shepards family was pretty accepting of pony they didnt just flat out ignore him, which pony has mixed feelings over bc thx for not kicking me out but at the same time let me back to my comfort corner,,,please,,,

•there wasnt a lot of cousins curly had that was specifically around his, angela, and ponys age, so the small group that they did make up?? u couldnt tear them awayyyyyy. the younger cousins kept pulling pony away to try and get him to play w them (it wasnt fun pony came out that hoe w 5 different bruises)

•hearing the many stories of curly from haiti he sworreeee he would never tell pony made everything worthwhile, pony has so much more material to use against curly now

•for curly meeting ponys extended family, i cannot say he rlly gaf, like he cares wayyyyy more for the gang and it shows bc curlys more chill, just sitting till its all over and pony cant blame him, hes not close to his extended family either and wants to go, no hard feelings but they arent much to talk about😭😭

•ponys family isnt dismissive of curly, but they dont have a huge interest of getting to know him and they arent exactly hiding it, whoops!!! curly could at least give them that props, just a bit if his respect for that, he hates when ppl try to act all buddy buddy w him

•curly fucking hated the food they made, im sorry but thats so important for me to say, the food was probably the only thing rlly motivating him to go other than just getting to know pony better and feel more connected to him as a person but the food being bad was just the nail in the coffin😭😭

[idolbound]

DARP Advent 2024: Day Six HALFWAY THERE!

Let's talk about INFLUENCES and ADMIRATION!

Mun Portion!:

1. What inspired you to get into DARP? Former RP experiences? Just a love for the games?

I first got into RP in January 2013 with my Miranda Lawson blog and the Mass Effect rpc. I developed blogs for my Shepard among other characters, but it was shortly thereafter that the hype around DAI started; while I'd try to do DAO on console, I found it hard so I gave the copies to a friend and then bought them on PC later. But I played Inquisition at release in a speed run to kiss Cassandra, and made a blog for her ( @ stabbystabseeker for those who remember). I loved Cass a lot, enough that I didn't care that I had to play as a man to kiss her lol. Anyway, that's how I got into DARP - I also had blogs for my Hawke and Inquis when I eventually got through my canon playthrough of all the games from the beginning!

2. Name one (or a couple) of your fellow writers that you think are neat, and why! Can be famous, on Tumblr, in your real life, on AO3, whatever.

I would not be here half as much if it were not for @milfyclaus / (normally @ sanctamater). Claire has kept going with me to write this ship for almost 2 years now and has single-handedly made me want to keep writing Meredith unlike anyone or anything else; and to that, Claire, your writing always captures such a unique voice interlaced with exposition that I admire!

3. Has anyone in DARP (past or present!) really helped to define or reimagine a character for you? Or made you rethink perceptions that you held?

Honestly, Elisa with @extravagantliar has really fleshed out not just Varric but Kirkwall, and all the careful intricacies of worldbuilding that go with it. I would also say honestly, Erran @thesxmmersword who may not rp Ser Cauthrien anymore, but they really took an NPC in DAO and fleshed her out so well, and added much more depth to another morally questionable woman, and we started shipping these two from a what if meme and let it go from there.

4. What other fandoms/works/writers have influenced your writing style and the way that you view writing and creative expression?

Honestly, I think I still draw on a lot from Mass Effect and some of the themes around moral decisions, and the weight of those choices, as well as fighting in the name of something or someone that we see in DA as well. Truthfully, I have not been able to read a lot for fun because it's basically my job to read while doing my doctorate, but I do love a lot of fiction that can convey serious themes in the body of its work. I have a book that I got at a vendor sale that I'm excited to read, titled "This is How You Lose The Time War" by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone.

5. Do you have any friends that have created a Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor/Rook that you've basically adopted?

I guess 'adopted' in the sense that we, as good friends, have made all our Rooks connected. I've talked about this on my multi but basically, my Rook's maternal uncle Jar has a husband named Alain, and together, they are the adoptive fathers of Chels' qunari Rook, Oskaar. Alain has an adoptive elf sister named Kahari and that's Ker's Rook. We are slowly fleshing out their family shenanigans.

6. What's a fandom work (writing, art, etc) that you think is super cool and you wish more people would see it? Share it with us!

Again, see the above point where I don't often have a lot of time to read for fun - this extends to fanfics as well. But honestly, I have a few ... m-rated fics featuring Meredith that have been a bit of inspiration to me in the past lol. (if you DM me, I will link them but this is a "we listen and we don't judge" situation).

Muse Portion!:

1. Who or what are some things/powers/people that your muse admires?

Meredith herself is always drawn to power; typically, this is in a political / leadership sense, as well as physical strength and abilities. Again, typically she will not care much for men in this role, but when it comes to women? She can admire a good swordswoman, or a woman in a political role with great influence. She will always admire someone who is career-driven, and seeking to better themselves, especially for fellow women.

2. Does your muse have a "hero" that they look up to from canon?

I think Meredith is very much a history nerd just as much as she is a religious zealot, but when it comes to historic figures vs. her personal beliefs, she will always hold Andraste as her most powerful "hero" to look to. She models herself after Andraste, after all, to look like her and to embody her sense of JUSTICE.

3. What legends, tales, or stories helped to form your muse's ideas of power and heroism?

Definitely the Chant of Light. Taken in as a ward of the Chantry as a child, she was educated through their teachings, and grew up entrenched in the Chant of Life. It is what dictates her life, and it guides her; those are the stories she turns to, to guide herself as Knight-Commander and beyond.

4. Conversely, what sort of legends, tales, or stories formed their idea of what a villain is?

To her, her own sister's story of being an untrained mage acts well enough to know that magic is the evil within, and that mages are inherently villains until they take responsibility for themselves and what the Maker has cursed them with.

5. Are there other muses in DARP that your muse admires? Or reviles/fears? (be careful with that second one and be RESPECTFUL.)

@milfyclaus Lady Amelia is her... (homoerotic) business partner (a forge supplying silverite weaponry to the Templar Order) turned wife girlfriend in their time in Kirkwall. @kirkwll Sioned has tested (and continues to test) Meredith's patience on the daily. and with our thread still in infancy, Meredith very much admires the man @tobebrutal 's Cullen is becoming. That's her son and Knight-Captain!

6. If your muse is someone who has companions or is one of the groups of companions from canon, how do they and their companions play off of each other? Are they friends? Enemies? Two dudes who'd cross the street to avoid each other? What are their most powerful connections within their "group"?

Unfortunately, Meredith as an Inquisitor is awful and most people rightfully don't like her. lol.

[lovingbuckley]

Tommy didn't grow up or come out in an accepting time. He's about 40. Straight off the bat, that means two major things. That he would have been 14 when Matthew Shepard was murdered and that he was also growing up and probably realizing he wasn't like everybody else in the aftermath of the worst of the AIDS crisis. There are enough bad things said about gay men in the context of HIV and AIDS that I assume that part of self explanatory but gay men were often viewed as dirty or diseased by default.

The murder of Matthew Shepard was a big and traumatic thing for a lot of gay men because a lot of the messages during the trial were essentially you will be murdered because you are gay and they will stand up in court, try to paint you as a predator who came on to them, and say that you deserved it.

Then we have the fact that Tommy would have served under DADT, which ruined lives and even after it was repealed they made the people whose lives were ruined apply to have it changed.

And on top of that, the main thing we learned about his family is that his dad was similar to Gerrard, something he mentions the episode after Gerrard calls him a homophobic slur by way of mime. I'm closer to Buck's age than Tommy's, but I've heard from older gay men what their families said about Matthew Shepard's murder and how they used to talk about gay men.

It's deeper than Glee. It's deeper than gay being used as a casual slur and way to say things suck. It's a baked in trauma because your life is over if they find out you are gay. You are dead. Or your career is over with a permanent mark on your life that would make it nearly impossible to find employment anywhere that cared if your discharge was dishonorable.

The problem is that this isn't something the show intentionally included, but it's also something that if you're a gay or bi or queer man (or often just a queer person who's out of your 30s), it's hard not to think about. They included the assault and riots in Athena Begins and DADT in Karen's backstory so we know they can think about it. The problem is that the writers probably didn't recognize the context that they created Tommy in.

Hi, Anon!

This is a really good answer, it’s really good in the context of older gay men in real life. The last part you summed up what I was sort of saying because he’s not a character that has any backstory that we have really heard about.

While I see the relatability of his character for some people, most of this that you’ve been kind enough to answer, is an assumption of what he’s been through or and assumption of another assumption.

That’s what I was really trying to understand with people who have loved Tommy’s character. We’ve seen his character be a terrible person to Hen and Chim, and because they forgot that he did a lot of wrong in those episodes they didn’t give any context to either Hen or Chim forgiving him in any way.

Again I don’t hate Tommy! I feel like the show did a good job at making it really difficult to feel any good feelings about him. I’m also not seeing him in the same light where some people are saying they think buck should’ve been written off the show instead??!? That is an extremely weird thing to say in my opinion cause we have so much for Bucks character, in comparison to the small amount we know about Tommy.

I’m mainly hoping for some insight into the character that people have seen on screen and how he’s likable in the show. Because I will admit most of what I saw in Hen begins and Chim begins did make me wish to never see him again. They made him out to be a sort of villain in those episodes, granted I don’t think they had any plans to bring him back so they didn’t do any type of character growth for him to no longer be seen as a terrible guy.

Thank you so much for taking time to write to me about how you feel about the character! I’m open to more messages.

[scratchandplaster]

FEBUWHUMP DAY 7 - Suffering in silence

CW: emotional manipulation, parental Whumper, hypnosis, conditioning, mind control, interrogation, forced betrayal

Previous | [Masterlist] | Next

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Shepard cradled his son protectively, hoping to increase this state of suggestibility to a usable scale, despite or especially because the walls Reuben had built up were nothing more than gravel on the road.

"Listen carefully now. I'm not trying to fool you again, I'm just worried about my children. That's why I need to know if Lukas is alright, you understand this better than anyone. You remember what always happens when the stress gets to him: he doesn't eat, just lays in bed until sunset and doesn't go outside for fresh air. We don't want that, do we?"

His youngest nodded his assent. Luke, in one of his moods, couldn't cope on his own and he was all alone now too, but Ben was here and ready to support him from afar.

"You always help me out, that's your special talent. And I wouldn't dare to ask you bluntly, I bet Lukas told you that awful things would happen if you reveal details about his new...current home to me."

Ben agreed again, he was thoroughly briefed to hold his peace. Luke's horror stories about how they both would be dragged back and forcefully introduced again made goosebumps blossom at the back of his neck, which Shepard carefully stroked away: "But I'm not asking directly, so it's okay, we can play by Lukas' silly little rules and help him at the same time. Isn't that great?"

Shepard watched a lightened smile spread across his son's face, always eager to assist his dad.

"So, to achieve this, I need you to stay down, stay calm, stay open to my words. When you're ready to talk to me, I will listen."

After swallowing a few times, his jaw loosened with a click. Ben was thoroughly poised. Perfect.

"You lived together with Luke?" Shepard tried to suppress any judging tone that possibly snuck its way into his questions.

"Yes," Ben whispered, his voice sounding like it detached to flow freely throughout the tent.

Just as suspected: same city, same vicinity. Shepard would siphon Luke out of the masses until he was sure he was close enough.

"And others too?"

"Yeah." 

Shared flat. Close to campus, more than likely. Luke had surrounded himself with many people, many friends, which certainly acted as an extra barrier. Nothing his dad couldn't get out of the way.

"That's so nice, it's important to stay close to the people you love."

Ben nuzzled into the crook of his neck, a compliment Shepard gladly accepted.

"Imagine something for me. Imagine you're back in the house you lived in. You wake up like every morning, the warm sunbeams on your skin welcome the new day, and get dressed in your favorite outfit. You already prepared it the evening before, that's how exited you are to take a stroll through the city."

Ben could see Lukas' room so clearly: the spare sleeping mat he and his roommates had dug up and cramped under the desk. Everything had been cramped ever since he followed his brother out into the real, wild world, but that never stopped them from finding a way for themselves.

"Ready for the day, you step outside. What is the first building you can see?"

The question took a while to settle in, the cogs in Ben's mind worked at a snail's pace: "A restaurant."

"Is it a nice one, an expensive one?"

"Yeah." Luke had invited him there once or twice, only when his paychecks arrived.

"Can you see the name?"

Despite their makeshift living conditions, Shepard wondered if his boys, lacking papers and any kind of formal education, managed to settle in a high-end neighborhood. Meanwhile, Ben smiled weakly, remembering the intense aroma of cinnamon and sprinkles on his tongue.

"What does it say?"

"IHOP."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Shepard coughed and bit his lip hard to hold in his laughter. This narrowed the area down. His Reuben was incredibly helpful indeed, even if he was unable to grasp why.

"Taking in the morning air, you stride along the sidewalk to the nearest street sign. They are fixed on a post, a little plate with letters on it."

"I know, Dad!" he could practically hear Ben roll his eyes if he were in a different state of mind, "I'm not as stupid as you think."

But sweet Ben never paid attention to bland signs that couldn't spark his curiosity, and currently his brain wasn't active enough to produce a dream image.

"What street are you on?"

Ben shrugged innocently: "I dunno."

Prodding further would just risk him getting defensive, a possibility not worth sacrificing his results for. Lukas was practically gifted to Shepard on a silver platter, rushing it was not the way.

"That's alright, Ben. You're doing great, just go back to the house for me and tell me what color it is."

"Bricks," he muttered.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the tired man tried another strategy: "You walk up to the front door now, please. Slowly, dear, we aren't in a hurry."

A foul lie to calm his all too eager son down; complex assignments usually made Ben confuse himself into a stupor.

"Arriving at the entrance, you look at the facade and somewhere above the doorbells you will see a number. If you tell me which one it is, I'll stop bothering you."

Bother wasn't a word Ben would ever use to describe the breathwork they did together, he may not understand every word that was said or left his own mouth, but nevertheless appreciated this embrace for his soul.

Before his inner eye, the path he walked up countless times before showed itself in great detail: the clear view made of old beer cans and crumbling plaster he never quite got used to. It had to be there somewhere, a few stairs further inside a big circle. Slow, calculating head pats were exchanged for treacherous information.

"The number, sweet thing." If listened closely, maybe one could hear a trace of impatience.

"Four-two-seven," Ben murmured under great exertion.

"There you are. Thank you very much, Ben." A gentle kiss on the crown of his head sealed the deal.

Dad was so proud of him, he did a good job! All was forgiven.

The hard part was over, now Shepard had to ensure that his nestling didn't fledge again. He was truly fortunate that he had such a big heart and dutiful mind.

"How about one more favor for your old man?"

"Okay," Ben's warm breath against his father's chest let them tighten the hug.

"Are you sure? You already did so much for us."

In response, Reuben nodded avidly. He could always assist Dad, he could always prove his worth.

"Well, then. I want you to forget this conversation, Ben. Let it drift out of your head into the world, mix with the wind and get carried far, far away. It would hurt me too much to have you burdened with my worries."

Followed by a deep exhale and final sign of agreement, Ben was placed back on the sea of cushions and blankets beneath him and kindly tucked in. All that was prepared beforehand had found its use, as father and son laid beside each other, hand in hand.

"I'm going to talk to your subconscious now, but you can just simply float along. You don't have to listen to my drivel anymore, starshine, a deeper part will do all the work required. Let go and follow me."

At this final command, the last string that tethered Ben to the waking world slipped from his grasp.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2024 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

[515limit]

jack x miranda

NOTE: this is just my opinion :) giga word doc incoming

Jack and Miranda is honestly my favorite non Shepard ship, I've always been a big fan of both of them and seeing them grow through the series is honestly one of the more interesting aspects of the game, not just for them but most of the characters on general. Jack goes from just a generally hateful person to genuinely caring individual no matter how hard she tries to act otherwise. Miranda obviously goes from being a blind follower of Cerberus for the purpose of recognition to finding her own path and purpose in life. I love seeing them interact after the fact in the Citadel dlc, where you can tell they try to keep that sense of normalcy as best they can so it's not awkward through their empty insults and banter, but i genuinely think they were happy to see they one another was alive. But still i kinda wanna break down their whole dynamic because they deserve it, and i'm bored, nothing else. I think they're an underrated ship with more evidence?? than people think. I don't like to say evidence necessarily because nuance is a thing, and i think their relationship in general was supposed to be something you read between the lines not entirely blatant.

So to start as soon as we start Jack's recruitment mission we hear about how mean and hatful she is, and get shown that as we play through it looking for her. She's clearly extremally powerful and portrayed as being kinda unhinged, not just in her actions but she tells us herself how bad of a person she is overall. However, as you spend time with her you see that's just not true, at least to the extent that she claims or is initially portrayed. She's scared, she's tortured. As a child and now as an adult in her head. She can't mentally escape Pagia, and it makes her lash out. She can't trust people, or maybe she doesn't even want to. She doesn't want to let people in. Jack is clearly a very emotional person, all of her noteworthy scenes in ME2 come from emotional outbursts. She's hurting and you can tell the most in her poetry that she writes and can read in the SB dlc. All of that is to say, Jack and Miranda don't hate each other. They hate themselves. I'll get to Miranda in a minute, but Jack and Miranda have no real reason to beef with each other initially, neither has ever done anything directly to the other, except they're famous fight after Jack's loyalty mission. The thing is Jack has a thing for just saying mean shit, she speaks before she thinks, just like when you're talking to her and trying to get to know her as a person. Jack calls Shep "Cerberus lapdog and a military stooge" even though she has no real way of knowing that. Depending on how you play Shepard that could even be the exact opposite, BUT she feels threatened. Shepard cares. At least enough to talk to her and get to know her, so she gets defensive and says the meanest things she can think of just to get a rise of of Shepard. She's not mean because she's actually a hateful person, but more as a defense mechanism to keep people away.

I'll come back to this! I wanna talk about Miranda now. Miranda desperately needs approval, it radiates off her. From the second we meet and are actually able to talk to her she's noticeably jealous of Shepard even if she denies it, you can tell she isn't happy about how much trust and importance has already been placed on Shepard over her (a loyal and dedicated Cerberus agent). and this isn't the only time either, later when you talk to her she says she doesn't get it. Why Shepard is great and she isn't. For renegade Shep she even brings up their lack of family and education, lamenting over how much better they are than her. She's has extreme self worth issues, something she can't get past to the point of bringing up how Shep is great even though they were poor and lived on the streets and whatever. She says those things and continues to talk about her dad and how she was supposed to be. Miranda doesn't see how that might upset Shepard because it's technically true, it's not meant as an insult, but just a statement. She just sees it as i was "born" better so i should have been. She's extremally tone deaf all of ME2. Just like how the illusive man, didn't know about the Cerberus facility Jack was at. That being said, i do think at that moment it was definitely something she said to upset her, because she's just being petty, but the point is her and Jack don't get along initially because they're extremally similar and they both know it.

When Jack comes abord, the first person she talks to is Miranda, she mentions that she'll go out of her way to read all of Miranda's files. For what though? They know nothing about each other, all she knows is Miranda works for Cerberus, but so does the whole damn ship. She doesn't mention anything to Jacob or anyone else ever, just Miranda directly and the general Cerberus umbrella. (or at least i don't remember if she does so if that's not true just ignore that bit i'm going off memory) Anyway when it comes to Miranda, I don't think she even hates Jack at all, just her being so disruptive, she doesn't think she belongs there. Jack was in prison and in her mind that's probably where she thought she belonged, and she wasn't gonna change her mind about it either. In her mind Cerberus didn't know about Pragia so why is it there fault. Miranda is kinda dumb to think that way but she's blindly loyal to them and taking any chance she can to defend them because it's the only place she's found that she belongs. They're both angry but honestly it's just not at each other. They're both so stuck in their heads with their beliefs because they're insecure and cling to the only things they can to cope. In ME2 they're both still the insecure scared kids they were growing up and they found each other, and i think it scared them both. Being so different, but so similar at the same time. Jack thinks Miranda is so preppy and above everyone else, but maybe she reads her files and realizes it's the opposite. That she craves recognition, that she genuinely works hard for everything she has. That Miranda understands maybe more than anyone what she went through. Neither were enough, neither could live up to the impossible expectations given to them, and both decided to break away from that to find their own way, and are still haunted by their pasts as of ME2.

By the time ME3 comes around both have grown. Like a lot. You see the real Jack, she's still abrasive, maybe more out of habit than anything but she's a caring and honestly warm person now. She's responsible and loving towards the kids she looks after and they all look up to her, she's finally found somewhere she belongs. She seems genuinely happy even with the reaper war going on, she seems like the happiest person we talk to the whole came, she's laughingly and looking forward to the future, instead of the day someone will betray her. She has such a genuinely good 180 from who she was after realizing there were good people, there are people that care, that WANT her to be around. They don't just use her and throw her off to the side afterwards.

As for Miranda she's calmed down and loosed up a lot, she sees that her own self worth is more important than anyone else's recognition and is able to find her own path for one, she decides to do good after realizing what Cerberus truly is and is actively working the whole game to deter Cerberus and turn people away from sanctuary later on.

They are both completely different people, and that's why in the citadel dlc, they're just sharing drinks and genuinely enjoying each others company. I don't think Shepard mentions them getting together for no reason, i think they were meant to find each other from the beginning. This is more speculative than anything, and i'm not taking into account Shepard romances with either, so if you disagree and think they're just friends that's okay! This is just how i interoperated them. I think they do like each other and maybe to some extent have for a while, and just refused to acknowledge it to themselves or each other. They're polar opposites at first glance, Jack is covered in tattoos, reclusive, aggressive, and rude. Whereas Miranda is "perfect", no marks or blemishes and well put together, extraverted, generally tries to act like she's polite, and wants to take leadership roles. But on the inside they're the same, both just want to find their places in the galaxy, both want desperately to belong somewhere. Jack found her place, maybe Miranda will find her place too, and maybe it's by Jack's side. Helping the biotic kids and working with the alliance. Maybe she can finally do what she thought she was doing in Cerberus and help humanity the most by rebuilding and proving her knowledge to other people.

They're both genuinely caring and loving people at heart, their war crimes aside. (sadge) I think Miranda ending up with Jack honestly makes sense considering everything, it'd even help with her wanting kids and all since she can't have any naturally. Her and Jack could happily teach the biotic kids together after all is said and done.

That's all for now, thank you for coming to my tedtalk and reading my rant if you got this far :)

I may add more later if i think of anything!

[writtenjewels]

Day Sixteen: Place

Shepard took a step inside, jaw dropping. This was where Anderson lived all this time? The apartment was huge! He could easily imagine the CIC of the Normandy fitting in the living room. And that was just one section of the apartment. There were so many more rooms, and that wasn't even factoring in whatever was upstairs.

Still a little dazed, Shepard accepted the QEC from Anderson. They chatted a bit before Anderson gave him the news: this apartment now belonged to Shepard. The words buzzed around in his ears without fully sinking in. It didn't feel real. Anderson kept talking, insisting that Shepard take it. He just stared at the admiral's image, mouth still open.

“I can't,” he finally managed. “I can't accept this.”

“Sure you can. You need a place to rest and recharge. Besides,” Anderson added, “the more I'm here on Earth the less I want to leave. You'd be doing me a favor.”

Shepard shook his head. Leave it to Anderson to make giving away an apartment sound like a favor to him rather than the receiver. It made him think of the talk he and Kaidan had in the hospital while the major was still recovering. He's a hard man to say “No” to.

“Thank you, sir,” Shepard said, admitting defeat.

He disconnected, staring at the blank screen for a few minutes trying to absorb it all. Growing up, he never imagined having anything else other than a mattress. Joining the Alliance gave him a bunk (when they were available) and when he got the Normandy he had his own private quarters. Cerberus expanded the room but it was still part of the ship.

This was so much, and entirely separate. Shepard was more than willing to take on any role given to him, but as this war drew on and on, he could feel the weight of all that responsibility on his shoulders. Here, he might just be able to breathe.

There were a lot of rooms to explore. For now, Shepard headed straight for the couch. He stretched out and stared up to the ceiling. He didn't know if he could get used to this, but he sure as hell was going to enjoy it.

[carnalapples]

Hey Ad! I want to know about everything in your WIP folder!! It's so hard to choose what to ask about. But maybe I'll just keep it to "Cross the rooftop, run away" and/or "more envy demon stuff?"

Hi Grey!! Thank you for asking!

"cross the rooftop, run away" is a post-destroy mass effect fic where Shepard is trying to contend with her choices, and ends up recovering in Vancouver with Miranda and Kaidan's mother. It's a little celebration of female friendship and recovery. I haven't worked on it in a year or so, but I think it's almost finished and I might be able to get it out early next year!

The opening snippet:

In the end, she is able to snake one hand out of the rubble. A warning sign, leave me be. She can’t even feel her other arm; she’s numb save for the insistent burning of her lungs. Just one more corpse in the trail that led her here. 

It’s one of my favorites, Ashley sighs, before launching into another verse of Keats. Shepard wants to tell her to give it a rest, or at least to request something more apt for her situation, something funereal, but her throat is dry to the point of pain. When she closes her right eye, everything gets dim; to avoid the suffocating panic this knowledge sparks in her, she keeps her gaze firmly from the left. 

Time must pass, but all she has to track it by is one shaft of artificial Citadel light which never dims. Ashley moves through ages and nations, bouncing between poets she doesn’t even remember knowing. Turning and turning in the widening gyre. Shepard always did prefer novels. She used to spend all of her time back in college in the library, and half of it reading instead of working on her diagrams. 

Surely some revelation is at hand, surely the Second Coming is at hand—she feels the shift, like the Citadel is yawning back to life. A sharp pain flares in her stomach as a shard of something digs into it. That reinforced glass, maybe, the kind that’d really lodge into you if you broke it. 

“Spirits.” She blinks up into the glassy eyes of a shaking turian. His face swims before her, morphing into something grotesque.

Ashley laughs. Who’s like us?

/ / /

And then "more envy demon stuff" is a Cullen/Ashna fic--basically, I love the envy demon lol. But I like the idea that Ashna is struggling with newfound power, freedom that is not really free, confusing feelings for Cullen, and then she goes on this Wonderful field trip to Therinfal Redoubt and gets to have that all used against her... And then after Haven falls she gets a little bolder and asks Cullen to help her Work Through It. This one is floundering a little, so I'm waiting to see if I can find a better angle for it!

I think I shared this snippet before, but it's the best one I have haha:

“It…” Ashna closes her eyes, but the image comes back to her. Sure hands, broad frame, the smell of a thunderstorm, and she opens them quickly. 

“Was it someone you knew?” he asks. 

Feeling bold, she opens her eyes and looks at him. After a moment, something seems to dawn on him. The flush spreads down from his cheeks to his throat, a brilliant pink.

“When I was at Greenfell, a long time ago, they would have us separate reality from the dream.” He hesitates. “By mimicking what happens in the dream in real life, we would see how improbable it was.”

She’s flushing now. This is not happening.

“Would it help you, do you think? To divide reality from the dream?”

“It would help, yes,” she says slowly. 

“Well, what would happen in these dreams?”

The reality of the situation slams into her like a crashing wave. Cullen, sitting here, his knees barely touching hers—that is what needles her most, the chastity of it all—asking her to tell him how he takes her apart every night. 

“Commander, I don’t think this is possible,” she says quickly, moving away from him. He looks up, startled, and she feels bad, just for a moment, for drawing and redrawing these lines between them. 

“All right,” he says finally, reaching for his gloves. He fumbles to fit his hands inside, and Ashna watches this like a hawk. 

/ / /

Every time I open these I also try to write a little more, so this is helping a lot!!