#I'm torn between it's too sad and not sad ENOUGH

[blushblushbear]

Fck it- let’s get some ANGST rolling

All the boys reacting to their S/O dying right in front of them, and they are partially responsible for it.

Doesn’t matter how; freak accident, prank/date gone wrong, ppl who have a personal vendetta against them and want revenge- I want to know how they react and how they move on from that moment onwards (if they do at all)

DO.YOUR.WORST!!!

(I’m new to this fandom btw. Hi!! 👋🏼 I rly like your writing :)

AHHHH THANK YOU! I try weirdly hard to do a decent job

but yeah okay *cracks knuckles* let's get into it B)

SHIT'S UNDER THE CUT CAUSE IT'S A LOT AND IT'S DEPRESSING

tw: character death, death in general, violence, gun violence, depression, grief, guilt, heartbreak

Nimh

So I think Nimh's is a freak accident

I think you two are just walking along the side walk together and it's nice and normal and peaceful

and then a car swerves off the road and right towards you two

let's sad for added against you pushed him out of the way on instinct

I think his vision is actually blurred at first when he looks up from his spot in a bush

he does have a heart condition so that amount of shock is gonna make him legitimately dizzy

he almost dies right there when he looks over and sees you unconscious on the ground surrounded by blood

he is full on having a panic attack and can't breath and honestly everything is a dizzy blur for the next few hours

he falls over again just running over to you and is lost to the world as the rest of the scene unfolds around him

he's full on not seeing or hearing anything as he holds you bleeding in his arms

he doesn't even notice how badly he's hyperventilating

you actually don't die right there on the spot

you're put in an ambulance and rushed to the er and then to the icu and Nimh is in the hospital with you

They're also taking care of him as well since he is actually pretty banged up and is clearly having a serve panic attack and might legit pass out if not tended to

when you finally get to the hospital and start to wheel you away to the icu as other er staff are looking over him as a patient he pretty much starts loosing his shit

he wants to go with you but they need to make sure he's okay too

he's sobbing as they take his vitals

you last a few days and he never leaves your side

his parents come by to bring him food and clean clothes and a blanket but he's not leaving you once he's found you again in the icu

it's terrifying to him how still and hurt you look

he talks to you while you're out

honestly for all 3 of those days, he still had hope

no matter what the doctors said

but when he woke up on the morning of the 4th day to the sound of your flat line he watched all his hopes and dreams crumble in front of him

his happy future he saw for himself died with you

he's honestly a depressive mess and his body has not taken to the stress well at all (heart condition and panic attacks)

it's made even worse by the fact that he keeps having dreams about you

that always turn into nightmares where he relives holding you lifeless and bleeding in his arms

I'm going to be honest

I think due to the mix of the stress this puts on his already frail body

and the fact that he's sort of lost his will to live

he actually only lasts a few months after the accident

he was already lucky enough to make it this fair into his life, lucky enough to find the strength to always keep trying and make his body better, lucky enough to find you

but I guess his luck ran out

for what it's worth, I do think he goes peacefully in his sleep

dreaming about you

but a good dream this time

it's just tragic all around

poor Nimh

Volks

Volks' is another nice day turned tragic

You guys had gone out hiking, and he had helped you climb a tree because he really wanted to show you the view

it was taller than you had ever climbed but he promised that he wouldn't let anything happen to you

and as you too are looking at the view--- well, YOU are looking at the view, Volks is looking at you pretty much the whole time (like he always does)

but for a brief moment he took his eyes off you to also look at the view with you

and in that moment a strong wind shook the branch and made you loose your balance

your security tie failed and you went tumbling

that split second moment went by like an hour to Volks

the sudden realization that you weren't there

then looking down and seeing you falling

it took all of his will power to not instinctively jump after you

but when he saw you hit the ground he never scrambled down a tree so quickly

every part of him was shaking and his heart was pounding in his ears

he came up to you and you were still alive, but badly hurt

he gently cradled you in his arms and noticed you had blood coming out of your head

he pulled you onto his back panicking

calling 911 with his shaking hand

he met them on the side of the road and rode with you in the back of the ambulance

the whole time he was just staring wide eyed and pale at you

you were alive and moving but you were so out of it

the ems said you had definitely hit your head on something on the fall (probably a rock) and that you had several broken bones

you got none of that

Volks heard every word of it loud and clear like the worst was being confirmed for him

and he was responding to none of it

just staring at you

when you got to the hospital, his mom was already rushing out to meet the paramedics

you had met her a few times, she really liked you a lot, and especially liked how happy you made her son

she was taking charge since you were already like family to her

when they wheeled you back she told Volks to follow

your vitals were starting to tank and you've lost too much blood

the er room was a panicked frenzy that you were too out of it to comprehend

and the whole time Volks just kept staring at you

in your state, you were trying to make anything out

then you looked over at Volks

and when you looked at him there was this look of recognition and almost like relief

he stared back at your eyes, dull and distant but fully seeing him, the blood running down your forehead ruining the tenderness this look would've otherwise brought him

he didn't realize it yet, but he was tearing up

you reached out your hand to him weakly

he practically jumped forward, walking to you and taking your hand

your grip was weak and there was dirt and blood on your palms

you squeezed his hand as best you could manage

and you smiled at him

gazing lovingly into his eyes

and as he gazed back into yours

he watched as your bright eyes went dark

and then unfocused

he heard the single note of you leaving

and felt a panic he'd never known before as your hand slipped from his

his vision blurred as he just stood there shaking in disbelief

he couldn't find any words or form any thoughts as tears streamed down his cheeks

in a distance he heard his mom's voice

he heard his name

she was saying something

she felt her hand numb on his back

but he couldn't take any of it in

he just stared at you

for maybe the last time

you were just here and now you were gone

he

his contact finally broke when his mom pulled him away into a hug

she was crying on his shoulder, and holding her baby boy so tight

Volks blinked and it all hit him at once

and he broke down in his mothers arms as they crumpled to the floor together and sobbed

months went by

and he barely left the house

he went back and forth between staring at the wall and looking back over pictures you took together and texts you had sent

then crying

then back to the wall

his mom checked in on him a lot

but he's barely there anymore

on one visit she brings him food and notices a rose in a vase with fresh water

it's one he brought home from your funeral

it's long dead but he keeps watering it

for the millionth time Volks' mom preaches the helpfulness of grief counseling and invites him to join her this week at the group meeting

he refuses and she goes back to unloading the food she brought him into his fridge

he's not eating much though

on her way out she kisses his forehead and tells him she loves him

she stops at the door

and looks back at the rose

then her son

'you know.... they would've wanted you to be happy... that's all they ever wanted...'

Volks is silent for a while

his mom sighs and gets ready to leave again

'hey mom....'

she turns

'...what time is the therapy group?'

Kelby

Ya know, weirdly enough, I think Kelby actually handles all this the healthiest of all the boys??

also before I give an actual death lemme just say it's really hard for me to think of something for Kelby that's not Final Destination levels of insane lol

but no, okay okay

ahem

I think with Kelby it's just a regular ol' run of the mill daily tragedy

You're driving together, he's at the wheel, you guys are probably headed to a nice day at the beach

or back from a nice day at the beach

it's late but he's careful

but the sad truth is careful doesn't matter when other people drink and drive

your car is hit head on by someone going twice the speed limit, and your side of the car takes the main impact

I think unlike the previous two guys, you don't get a hospital goodbye

you are most likely dead on impact

and Kelby's not looking too hot either

I think he passes out in an ambulance and wakes up a few hours later to a few new injuries and the shocking news that you didn't make it

pretty sure everyone can hear his wails from down the hall

He's actually basically crying off an on for the next few years

he spends time with family

time with friends

looks at pictures

reads old texts

cries and cries and cries

he goes to therapy and goes through the moitons

but no matter what he can't fight this new hole he feels

the one where all his love for you went

I think he actually becomes an advocate for safe driving

and joins a lot of support groups

He actually helps a lot of people work through their pain

and that helps him work through his

the sad truth about this kind of thing is that it really is a mundane tragedy

that feels like an oxymoron but this sudden heartbreak happens everyday

but through the proper channels, Kelby has found ways to cope

though every now and then the loneliness does get him

how can it not

but if he can't spend the rest of his life with you

then he'll dedicate the rest of it in your memory

and help others do the same

also he keeps your picture by his bedside and talks to it frequently

telling you good morning and good night and such

He never stops missing you

Eli

I feel like with Eli, it really is something outlandish

Like he convinced you to go romantically dancing in the rain and you got struck by lightening

and to other people he laughs it off

'ain't life a bitch, at least they went out in a blaze of glory, they always were electrifying,' etc etc etc

but the truth of the matter is he's deeply and unbelievably upset about this

at his core, he's inconsolable

and he probably jokes about that too

'haha I'm dead inside actually! :)'

he has started seeing a therapist

he's got a lot to unpack

also I know there's not super explicit alcohol mentions in the game

but we know Eli is a party boy

and he's def developed a drinking problem over this

he doesn't know how to handle his feelings so he stays out all night partying like he would do with you

tearing shit up and drinking his feelings away

all so he can stumble home alone and pass out immediately so he doesn't have to contemplate how utterly empty and pointless his big fancy apartment feels

or how empty and pointless he feels

he's also dabbled in some drugs but he's trying to be real careful about that since he doesn't wanna wake up in an alley way (at least not cause of drugs-- he might a few times over booze though)

I think there was a time Eli had a lot of self hatred growing up followed by full self acceptance and self celebration

but he doesn't feel like celebration himself right now

he's pretty sure you'd be disguised with what he's become in your absence

hence the going to therapy

he hasn't found the right therapist just yet but he's going to keep trying

he liked the good things about himself, he liked the good things about you, and all the good things you saw in him, even the stuff he didn't always see as good himself

he wants to like himself again

the way he did when he had you loving him

he truly felt the happiest with you around

but now

he lives in the club

and drinks till dawn

he wakes up in a haze

feeling sick as shit

slowly gets himself together-ish

and ends up wondering what his life has become without you

has a coffee

and a headache

reads some poetry or listens to a song that reminds him of you

ulgy cries for a bit until his headache is worse

calms down enough to eat (well, less calm and more too burnt out)

rinse, repeat.

He doesn't plan to do this forever

he doesn't want to do this forever

someday he's gonna find a way to be happy again without you

though nothing will ever compare to the great love of his life that surprised him out of nowhere

Anon

okay here me out this might be a little too real BUT

bitch I think he got swatted

he messed around with the wrong dude and he got swatted

it got messy

you were there when it happened

he is pressing SO MANY CHARGES

he is a wreck

there's a movement online to try and help and support him through this trying time but honestly

he sees very little of it

he's sort of logged off for a while

actually a long while

he moved houses cause he was just too scared and traumatized

he couldn't stay in the house he watched you get shot in

he's going to so much therapy but it's not helping much

well, it is actually

just not in ways he's seeing or feeling

normally he'd get his revenge asap but like

that sort of thing is what got him into this mess

he is still taking all the legal action he can though

got the best lawyers on his side

SOMEONE is going to jail hell or high water

but it doesn't help fill the hole

he spends a lot of time lying in silence

or going outside

or staring at a blank screen that isn't turned on

he's actually not sure he'll ever get out of this whole

he looks at his phone from time to time but only to look at pictures of you

it's not connected to the internet or anything

eventually he finally feels up to trying to be online for an afternoon

maybe check his socials a bit and play a game

that's when he finally sees the out pour of condolences people have left for him

it actually makes him feel better

you know that bit in that lil nas song 'strangers make you feel so loved, ya know?'

that's him right now

he will never get over this

not even a little bit

and I think he's done using his powers to fuck around

I think eventually he will get to something resembling his old self but

you're still his desktop background

and he's never not going to feel that void you left

or the crushing guilt that flows

Garret

oh man

what to do with Garret

GEEZ uhhhh

I think with Garret, he just wakes up one morning with you in his arms and you're pale and unmoving

I think for him we're gonna say brain aneurysm

you just had one in your sleep overnight and there was nothing anyone could do

he was a panicking sobbing mess the whole time he waited for emergency services with you in his arms

and he wasn't much better while riding in the ambulance with you (he refused to leave your side)

you were barely breathing the whole ride and stopped breathing before you even made it to the hospital

despite the fact that literally none of this was his fault and absolutely there was nothing anyone could do he still blames himself

you died in his arms

he should've been able to do something

I think after a few years of group therapy he finally manages to get back to something like his old self

but he still breaks down in a sobbing wreck every now and then over this all

and he misses you every day

I think he constantly goes back and forth on whether to get rid of the bed you two shared on the night you died

on the one hand you died in that bed (sort of)

but on the other that's the last place you were together

either way he still hasn't gotten rid of it

and he has a locket with your picture in it that he never takes off

Dmitri

I'm running out of way for you to die guys

I think let's go with you were visiting him at the coffee shop and one of the espresso machines exploded, injuring 3 and killing 1 (that's you) (.....shut up I'm trying)

a coffee bean was launched right into your heart

so tragic

he like all the others go into a depressive state but he does very melo-drama about it

lots of tears and wilted roses and sobbing while draped across a sofa holding a framed photo of you

love poems, robe, tissues, ice cream, empty bottles of wine

his sister comes to visit him every day but it doesn't help

I honestly think he never lets this go

he wears this sorrow on his sleeve like a memorium to you

he vows he will never love again and he keeps it

there's a lot of talking to his main framed picture of you (he has a lot) and telling you about his day or his family or how much he misses you

that last bit usually comes up

he's definitely drinking more wine than before

he's not full Eli binging but he definitely gets it down

If he had a ring he was going to propose with (and he probably did let's be real), he wears it now around his neck

a reminder of the happy ending with you he will never get to see

Ichiban

I think this one actually is a prank gone wrong

or at least a video gone wrong

he actually quits his channel for a while out of guilt

he just can't stand running it

he eventually comes back for the fans but it takes like a full year before they hear from him

he spends a lot of time being depressed in the dark

playing games and sometimes talking to himself like he's talking to you

he has a really great therapist that helps him a lot with the guilt and grief

when he does eventually come back, he has a much greater boundary between his online life and his personal life

he also doesn't do stunts/pranks EVER

he actually only updates here and there cause he's putting his focus into more artist projects

the first one is an exploration of grief and how it can change a person

he's got a lot of guests from all over the internet who are here to share their stories of loss that were going on behind the camera

it's very soul bearing all around and it actually is seen as an over all good

it made a lot of people feel seen and less alone

including him

nothing will ever replace you

but he's using his fame now to let people know they aren't alone, so hopefully that's something

William

I think with William you were at the clinic visiting him and something venomous bit you

most likely a snake

you were rushed to the hospital and given anti-venom, but it was too late, the damage was already done

I think he is actually the most functional of all the dudes after the fact

like he's very much Not Okay, but he's trying his best to get through his day

the moment he gets home though he enters into the most mournful slump

he puts a record on and drinks a glass of wine and stares at your picture and just

mourns

he finds himself missing you throughout his day but the second he gets home it's a little all consuming

he's honestly kind of resigned to spending the rest of his life alone mourning you

maybe in a few years from now, he'll try for love again

but he already knows it's not going to be the same

he's always going to feel the weight of your loss on his heart

Myx

I think with Myx it's probably a very sudden yet terminal diease

he puts everything on pause to be with you for as long as he can

he gets about a few months (it's still not enough)

after another few months away from everything spent mourning he finally returns to the stage

he has basically a whole new albums worth of songs

each one of them was him working through his loss and pain

you know those albums you listen to from an artist, and you're just like 'who hurt you???'

yeah, this one is his

except the answer is life

or more specifically death

the amount of times he cries on stage performing some of these songs is unsurprising

a lot of fans send him letters of encouragement and condolences

and flowers

so many flowers

your funeral was actually a sea of flowers

some from friends and family

some from Myx's fans

but honestly mostly from Myx

his next album isn't quite so consumed with grief but honestly-- the subject always comes back up

there's also a few songs for you in there that are really sweet

it's not all tears and heartache

a few happy memories immortalized in song

though a lot of fans and critics consider the ones he wrote during that first year without you some of his most compelling and heartfelt bits of work

and it only cost him everything...

Stirling

Let us pretend my previous post about the reader gaining immortality does not exist

Stirling loses you to time

like so many things before you

and many things after

your loss stings the most though

he stayed with you until the end of your life

loving you every moment he could find

and even making some himself

but he's learned the hard way that all good things must come to an end

and frankly you were the best thing, so your end left the biggest shadow

he misses you every moment of his eternity

so many paintings and portraits of you throughout your years hang in his walls

but none of them ever did do you justice

he's found ways, like this, to surround himself with some version of your presence

though it never fully chases away the loneliness

he embraces the end gracefully

though every so often, when the night is clear and the stars are bright

he can't help but look into the heavens

think of you

and weep

Scale

Scale lost you to an enemy assassin

He doesn't know if they were going for him and just missed

or if they meant to target you just to get at him

but either way he watched in horror as a dart flew into your neck, and you fell to the ground motionless

He never stops blaming himself

He knew he was no good for you and he stuck around anyways

and look where that got you

he spends months hunting down and killing the assassin that did you in

but even bringing justice to your end doesn't make him feel any better

okay, maybe it helps a little, but it's still not enough

he sort of slinks into solitude for several years following your death

he also takes a vow of silence (for some reason--- he won't say why)

he frequently visits your grave and mourns you

he also reads over your old text convos

and he cries

a lot

he kind of lost his heart on that day

and it's truly doubtful he'll ever get it back

not with you gone

Sven

I think this one is another car

I know it's very sudden at the least

he doesn't really know how to process it at all

he's actually in quite the downward spiral for the next few months

going back and forth between trying to remain positive and being a sobbing wreck

bruh, I think your loss kinda broke him

he's seeing like 3 different therapists

they're helping a little

he still sobs uncontrollably at least once a day

honestly, I don't think he ever truly gets back to his old self

he just can't anymore

Cole

heheheheh *CRACKS KNUCKLES*

He's not sure how it happened

all he knows is that he came to on the floor next to you

He was holding you

and there was a lot of blood

you were already cold, your warmth long gone

and his head was spinning

everything was a fog

what had he...

he remembers feeling jealous

and helpless

and angry

he sort of blacked out in a spiral

there's vague flashes

you pinned behind him as

no.

no no no no no no no.

he couldn't have.

he wouldn't have.

h-he didn't mean to.

you can't be.

he staring down at your still body, limp and lifeless in his arms.

all the pieces are coming back together.

it's all coming back to him.

he let's out a nervous laugh as he shakes you gently and says your name.

It all had to be a bad dream.

That was all a dream.

He could never have...

please wake up...

he's so sorry...

please wake up...

...just be a bad dream...

Poe

I think for Mr. Poet we're gonna have to go Byronic on his ass

that's right, it's Consumption baby! Aka tuberculosis!

basically meaning you get real sick

and he's with you every step of the way

staying by your side as your body gives out

documenting ever turn with a new bit of writing or poem

he's never been so prolific

nor so heartbroken

he doesn't share any of the poems about you

He actually might pull a Dickinson and never share them

only to have them found and published after his death

he doesn't know how many pages he filled sitting by your bed side as you slept

he keeps a book of pressed flowers from throughout your decline

flowers he brought you, or ones given by the hospital or friends, a few flowers from your funeral

He probably spends the rest of his life even more listless than before

definitely more heart broken

he moves on in his writing (at least for the stuff he shares publicly)

but he never moves on in his heart

Cashew

I'm unsure how this one happens, but the follow up is the same

I think after a month or so, he tries to go back to his usual life

tries to get up, go to classes, go about his life

but he can't really care anymore

he's just going through the motions

he reads a lot of books where there's a character death to cope

also a lot of romance

and a lot of crying

he's kind of a shut in off and on for about a year

he slowly but surely bounces back

learns to be happy again

be he always knows he would be happier with you

there's a lot of pictures of you and him still floating around

he likes to try and remember you always

even if it hurts, seeing your face still makes him feel a little better

he's also def a member of the talks to your picture a lot squad

one of your pictures is his good luck charm

he got it laminated and uses it as a book mark so you can still kinda 'read with him'

Seth

OH BOY

he thought he wasn't going to care much since he deals with souls all the time

but he truly forgot what this was and now he's pissed

cocky fucker legit forgot that he lives in hell

and that's not where you end up

he doesn't really mourn like the rest of them cause you're not really gone

but he does still miss you

and is trying to tug at every string he can to try and either get himself up there or you down here

it's his new main goal, but it's gonna be a tough one

he keeps trying to trade your soul for others but the folks upstairs ain't buying it

this honestly feels like more of a set up for a rom com manga than anything else lol what is this even doing here IT'S NOT SAD ENOUGH

Logan

oh okay his can get very sad

I think his is going to be learning the hard way that you can't save everyone

and that no matter how hard to plan for something, things can still go wrong

(maybe he should be spider-man...)

but yeah, he was definitely one of the emergency services that responds to yours

he heard your address and got there so fast

but it wasn't fast enough

this loss legit takes him the majority of his life to get over

he was honestly planning to spend the rest of his life with you and that future went up in smoke

he goes to a lot of therapy, both group and one on one

and it helps

but not by much

he's definitely a different person after this all

a little less cheerful, a lot more serious

and hard to believe it but a little better at his job

he went from eye wide newbie with a hero complex to grizzled vet who knows how bad it can really get

and hey look another member of the pictures of you everywhere and he also talks to them squad

keeps a picture of you in the pocket of his fire jacket, near his chest

I mean, he already did that but now it hits different

also wears the ring he had gotten for you around his neck

(though not while working, fire fighters tend to not wear jewelry on the job cause metal hot)

lots of tears

lots of cuddle puddles with the rescue animals

occasionally names one after you

you were the love of his life

still are

Reece

Reece's is definitely a wacky space adventure gone wrong

he's shaken by the loss of you

I don't know how it happened but I know it was very sudden

spends a while in his ship just staring into the middle distance

he can't believe your gone

he spends a lot of time traveling around licking his wounds

also marshaling his forces to go face down whatever entity took you from this universe

tried to go back and save you but it always ends the same

after his last attempt he actually goes back in time to before you two even met and watches you from a distance

you look so happy, you have no idea what's about to happen to your life

he doesn't regret meeting you but he wonders often if things would've been better for YOU if he hadn't

flies solo for a few centuries

every now and then stops by and visits you in a time where you two still hadn't met

admittedly he's stalking you a bit but just in small bursts

it hurts a lot, but it also makes him feel better

try as he might, there's just some things he can never change

and the closer to home it hits, the more it hurts

Aki

WHOO BOY another immortal/semi-immortal character!

I think for all the fox boys we're going to just have you go of natural causes, no immortality for you

it's both hard for him to be sad about this and equally as impossible to not be devastated

on the one hand, you two had a beautiful life together

and having you in each others lives made them so full

but Aki's learning for the first time that part of being a kistune is seeing all good things end while you have to keep going

honestly I think all Kistune to some degree are like Aki, then Haru, then Fuyu as time goes on

like they all start to some degree young and wild and mischievous, then eventually calm a bit more and chill as they mature, and then being a live for so long matures them to such a level they're almost un-reacting cause they've seen it all

everyone's a little different but it's always roughly the same path

and this is Aki's first

you're Aki's first

his first everything

his first great love

his first great life mate

his first great loss

like all kistune before him, this is an aging mark

he's going to be a different person on the other side of this

he's still going to be Aki, just a different version of Aki

one that knows what it means to hurt on this level

he takes about a century to get over it--- well as over it as he's ever gonna get

he may one day have another mate or take another lover

but it will never be like how it was with you

I'm actually not sure if he ever pairs off with someone else for good (I'm honestly not sure any of them do)

and no matter how much time and experience changes him

or how many years pass

he still thinks back on his time with you often and gets all warm again

Haru

SO!

Natural causes, no immortality for you, you just get old and die

so they way I was talking with Aki and how all kistune probably have a similar life path as they age visa vee experiences and firsts

Haru actually is the way he is cause he was trying to AVOID that at all costs

he ran through life trying his damnest to not let anyone get too close cause he doesn't wanna deal

ESPECIALLY humans

sad, pathetic, emotional, short lived little humans

but then you actually managed to break through

and he kind of like--- got it then

like he gets it now

he understands how a connection can be worth the risk of pain

though I will say he does start the relationship fully in denial about the inevitable

he doesn't want to talk about loss, he doesn't want to think of you dying, he doesn't want to have to figure out what a world without you would be like

I think the biggest slap to the face Haru has ever gotten is when he gave you one of his 'I'm gonna spend the rest of my life pleasing you' and you kinda gently threw out 'well.... the rest of MY life anyway...'

I think hearing it from you made him actually like--- hear it ya know???

he generally doesn't loose his cool much but he def looses it then

or anytime someone brings up that you're mortal

I think all of the kitsune do at some point try and find a way to make you immortal but with Haru it's low key a thing he never gave up on

he's not always actively searching, but he's searching on the down low

weirdly I think the person that helps him cope the most with your death is you

YOU knew what you were getting into

and you're not afraid to talk about it with him

especially cause he has a hard time staying mad at you so you can kinda say whatever

he takes a lot of solace in the fact that he made your life very happy

and he enjoys the fuck out of every moment you two have together

he tries so hard not to dwell on it

but once it actually comes and is in front of him

he has a hard time processing

he's not good at processing big feelings okay

I think he might become a drunk for a while

just a grumpy depressed drunk

he actually goes back and forth between a picture of you being the last thing he wants to see and the only thing he wants to see

he's another person whose going to come out different on the other side of the loss

I think he tried at one point to take another lover but he ended up getting upset, and kicked them out before anything could happen cause he just wanted you

and now he's alone and drunk and crying, look what you've done to him

ngl I think he becomes that like--- emotionally wounded, grizzled, often drunk samurai type (like Yasuo back at the star of his story)

he went from fuck boy to lover boy to grumpy older dude whose a little stand off-ish but honestly he's actually very sweet he just has a lot of pain to work through

also even though your face is sometimes the last thing he wants to see (partly cause he's ashamed at what a wreck he's become without you), he still keeps a picture of you near his heart

Fuyu

I'm so tempted to have your end be violent with Fuyu cause he's mr. war crimes but honestly

I think growing to trust again and learning the lesson that violence was never the answer is not only Fuyu's character arch, but low key all of the kistune boys character archs????

but yeah, so no, despite my temptations

natural causes, old age, no immortality for you

so Fuyu is no stranger to death or loss

and he has seen people he cared about die (fandom headcanons, one of them WAS Natsu and I am behind the idea that he didn't wanna do it)

but you just hit differently

he truly never met anyone like you

nor has he loved anyone as deeply

nor will he again for that matter

he tries his best to mourn your death with grace

but behind closed doors he's a sobbing wreck

I think the full time line of Fuyu at least for the parts that we see him are as follows

Angy, deep down Very Sad and Lonely, Uptight, RAWR -> Learns to chill and love and repent and be more open and is just generally still kinda stuffy and stiff but a lot more warm and happy -> still not the monster he once allowed himself to become, still a bit stuffy but also still chill, very solemn, very sad

so he didn't loose his gentleness that his time with you taught him

but he did get back his sad and lonely

He thinks about you everyday

and talks to your spirit in his moments alone

( not actually your--- you're not a ghost, making that clear--- more your memory)

you honestly made him a much better dude

and your company lead to him being able to open himself to more people

but none of them are you

and they never can be

he still writes you poetry

[noxtivagus]

i love. fiction. it distracts me so much 🥹

[leviraaaaaa]

All that's left.

“I know you’re there.”

Levi's voice cut through the stillness, startling you. You’d been watching him from the side of the wreckage, watching as the ghosts of your comrades appeared for one last time, one last salute. One last declaration of all they dedicated. One last goodbye. They had met your gaze too, shooting a small sad smile and you knew what it meant.

You two were all that's left. The last one's standing.

You stayed out of his sight even after they disappeared, giving him the privacy to mourn. God knows he needed it. You didn’t think he had noticed your presence, but then again, who were you trying to fool? His extraordinary instincts were never to be underestimated.

With a sigh, you pushed yourself to stand straight and stumbled forward, trying not to put too much weight on the ankle you had injured. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eyes. Ever resilient, ever strong, the cracks were so slight, just barely there. But you knew. You could always tell.

“Hi.” You mumbled. He stared at you as you dragged yourself in front of him.

“Nice of you to make it out alive.” He said.

“Who would’ve thought?” You shrugged.

“You made an ugly titan by the way.”

“I’m sure you would’ve looked charming.”

“Bet.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. The conversation was so unbelievably normal, it was surreal. Like nothing ever happened. Here, amid the ruins of everything, all the corpses, smoke, blood and destruction—here you were, back to how it always was. Almost as if, if you concentrated hard enough, all of it would go away and you’d find you and him back in the soggy cafeteria of the scout headquarters, back to bantering with him and arguing about silly little things that don't really deserve arguments but it’s you and Levi so of course it’d end up an argument.

You felt so old suddenly.

How come you ended up here? In this way?

And Levi looked so tired, you could cry. Hasn’t he given enough? Doesn’t he get to rest now?

“Does that..” You glanced down at his leg, the one he had spread out in front of him. It was clear it was beyond repair. The fabric of his pants were torn at the knee, from where it was crushed between the titan’s jaw, a bloody, mangled mess. “Does that hurt?”

“Not really, no.” His eyes followed your gaze. “Numbed a while ago. Can’t feel shit really.”

You sighed. "Not very humanity's strongest anymore, huh?"

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" He said. "Careful, I could still kick your ass."

"I'm sure."

You grinned. Then went ahead and dropped yourself beside him. He frowned.

“Shouldn’t we be getting up?” He said. “Why are you getting comfortable?”

“Why not?” You muttered, pulling your legs upto your chest, hugging them. “What’s it matter what we do or not? Armin’s the hot shit now, let him deal with everything.” Your head throbbed as you buried them in your knees. "We're too fucking old now anyways,"

He didn’t argue, but he made no attempt to get up either. If anything, he looked more relaxed. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to spend the rest of your life here. After all, you were so tired, and you were sure he was too. This was as good as anywhere else would be.

Because there’s no home to return to anymore.

“Do you think there’s anything left of Hange to bury?” He suddenly said.

You shuddered. What do you answer to that?

Your head pounded so hard, you couldn’t really think. Far away, somewhere in the distance, you could hear someone yelling at another someone, but you couldn’t bother to pay attention to the words. Armin and the others would figure something out surely.

You were exhausted.

“Say, Levi.” You said tiredly, nudging him slightly.

“What?”

“Wanna get married?”

Levi almost choked, he was suddenly all uptight, stiff as a board as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“What the fuck?” He asked, looking mildly horrified. “Are you seriously gonna make jokes here? Here?”

“Not joking.”

You lifted up your head, tilting it to look at him. It was hard to tell whether he was annoyed or flustered. Maybe both. "Not joking at all," You sighed. You’re not sure where the sudden boldness came from, but this is as good a time as any. Might as well. “You’re right. It’s a bad time to make jokes. So I’m dead serious.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am.” You nodded, turning your expression very serious.

“You’re weird as fuck.” He muttered out after several failed attempts to speak. The tips of his ears turned red, red as it always did whenever you used to jokingly suggest that he should date you. Except you weren’t really joking anymore. In fact, you haven’t been joking for a long, long time.

“I mean..” You closed your eyes. You were too tired to even feel embarrassed. “We’re the only ones left. Me and you. You’re all I have left, Levi. So, why not?”

He gasped at you for a long moment. Then he started shaking his head. “You’re insane.”

“You’re just realizing that?”

“No.” He muttered. “You’re insane. And it’s rubbing off on me.”

He paused for a long time, his one good eye searching your intensely, as if he was considering something. And finally, he made up his mind.

“You’re insane. And I’m no fucking different.” He sighed. “I must’ve hit my head pretty damn hard because I’m actually considering this shit.”

You grinned. “Go on, say it. You like me.”

“Wrong. I tolerate you.”

“Good enough. You don’t tolerate a lot of people, so I’ll take it as I'm special.”

He sighed, turning away, hoping that’s enough to hide his heart from you. You were special to him, always. But you didn’t need to know that. He didn’t want you to know that. He didn’t know how to let you know that.

“Can you believe us?” He scoffed instead. “We’re practically sitting in a graveyard. Half the world’s ruined but then there’s us.”

“That’s fine. Let’s keep being us. The world can go fuck itself. Meanwhile, we can—”

“Do not finish that sentence.” He glared.

You couldn’t help it—you laughed. A deep, aching laugh that left you gasping for air and brought tears to your eyes. And for the briefest moment, Levi’s lips twitched into something resembling a smile.

“We’re insane.” You admitted, still breathless. With that, you pushed yourself up, stumbling a little before you found your balance. You reached out your hand to Levi, who took it without question.

“Come on, Lev.” You pulled him up, letting him wrap an arm around you to brace himself. “Let’s go home.”

You were right, Levi thinks as he limped with you, letting you support him. It was nice to finally let himself lean on someone.

You two are the only ones left.

You’re all he has now.

The world has taken enough from him. He’s so tired of letting go.

And he’d be damned if he let you go too.

[janaelalfysblunt]

risk - paige bueckers

warnings: angsty-ish, homophobic parents (i didn't let them talk), happy ending

word count: 1694

notes: this was the most voted, so this will be the first one i publish the next one will be the ayanna one dedicated to @mrsarnold and @tndaqlifwy ❣

you can just talk, and I'll stare at your mouth it could be bad, but I wanna find out

you can only stare at her as she sits across from you, words shrieking softly past her lips. you watch how her mouth moves, wondering if she would pull back if she knew what you were thinking. you know it's dangerous. but in this quiet room with its low light, you can almost fool yourself. for a brief moment, you allow yourself to picture what it would be like to get closer, to lean in, and determine whether the fall is worth the risk.

It could ruin everything. or it could be the only thing that finally feels real.

and I feel like I could die 'cause you're not here and it don't feel right

It's too quiet in the room, the kind of silence that wraps you like a thick blanket and makes you feel more awake by every passing second. you've tried everything to distract your attention, including opening the window to let in the cool night air, reading the same page of a book five times, and scrolling through your phone until the screen blurred. all of this is done in the hopes that it will lessen the pain of missing her. missing paige. but it's useless. she isn't here, and her absence sticks to you like a lingering darkness.

It's an odd, difficult loneliness that seems to soak deeply into your bones. her laugh, the way her hand felt in yours during that one, untoward time, the silent looks you exchanged when no one was looking—all of these small reminders of her cling to your mind, and then all of a sudden she's both everywhere and nowhere. you try to picture her right next to you, close enough to reach out and calm the unease that has been annoying you ever since she left, by shutting your eyes.

it hurts, but it's for the better. we can't be together. we are both girls.

thinking I'm right when I'm probably wrong holding my breath like I met someone knowing damn well that I haven't been touched by you

"come over."

the message is a plain appeal that ought to stir up up excitement, interest, or any other emotion as it appears on your screen. you might have flirted a little, joked a little, and met him at a party. by all meanings, this should be simple because he is kind. you should want to say yes and experience the thrill of potential. but all you're doing is staring. waiting for an unfulfilled spark.

since he isn't her. he isn't your paige.

you tell yourself that comparing everyone to her is useless and would only lead to regret. yet, it feels strange and fake to consider being with someone else; it's like trying to put on someone else's skin. his blunt and explicit words appear on the screen, yet they have no meaning.

I'm gonna bend 'til I break and you'll be my favorite mistake I wish you could hold me here, shakin'

when your parents call, it's not actually to check on you. you tries to balance who you are, with who they want you to be, and they don't care about the sadness in your voice. they only need affirmation that you're "doing the right thing" and staying on the "right path."

but how do you leave someone who seems to be a part of you already? you must make a decision that could end your life since you are torn between a love that you are too scared to give up even if it's not possible and the stress of you family's expectations. because you're not sure if you could ever let go, let paige go.

she loved you. but does she still? it was years ago and she told you she would wait decades for you.

why aren't you here in my bedroom? hopelessly boring without you too soon to tell you "I love you"

sitting in your bedroom recalling everything.

flashback

it was after the first day of freshmen year. you and paige were on the phone, talking about everything. one of the things you loved about her, is that conversations could flow easily with her. if the topic is about something she doesn't know a lot about but you like it, she willings to learn stuff about it so you can talk for hours.

"i didn't knew you liked that movie." you said, suprised after your girlfriend brought it up.

"yeah. my sister made me watch it over the summer. it was alright." the blonde girl shrugged nonchalantly.

"paige. can we talk about something?" i asked in all seriousness now.

on the other side of the line, paige sat up in her bed, listening carefully. "of course, what's up?"

"i love you and i really hope you know that but..." i sighed, taking a moment. "my parents would never accept us together and you mean the world to me this is probably not a good topic to talk about over the phone but i think we need to take a break."

the silence that followed felt like it stretched on forever. you could hear paige’s breathing on the other end of the line, steady but tight.

“what?” she finally whispered, her voice barely audible, a crack in her usual steady tone. “are… are you serious?”

you closed your eyes, swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill over. this was the last thing you wanted to say, the last thing you wanted to feel, but here you were, saying it anyway. “I don’t know what else to do, paige. my parents don’t get it. they never would. they’d look at me like I’d failed them. and they keep calling, asking about you… it’s like they already know. they’ve been asking me questions, and I can’t, I just can’t lie to them anymore.”

you could hear paige take a shaky breath on the other end. “so… you’re just going to walk away?” she asked, her voice barely holding steady. “just like that?”

your chest ached. “it’s not like that. you know it’s not. this isn’t what I want. I just don’t see how I can have both you and my family. and I can’t ask you to live in secret, hiding from everyone, like some part of my life I’m ashamed of. you deserve more than that.”

for a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the words settling in. finally, paige broke the silence, her voice thick with tears. “but you’re also my best friend. you’re-” She stopped, as if she couldn’t bring herself to finish. “what am I supposed to do without you?”

her words shattered something inside you, and you nearly took it all back right then, nearly told her that none of this mattered, that you’d find a way. but deep down, you knew that until you could be honest with everyone else in your life, you couldn’t be fully honest with her. and that wasn’t fair—to either of you.

“I don’t know, paige,” you whispered, barely able to hear yourself. “I wish I did.”

you could hear her sniffle softly. “I love you, too, you know,” she said, her voice breaking. “and if this is what you need… then, okay. I just I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“me too,” you whispered, feeling like the words were tearing you apart.

after a few more seconds of silence, you heard the faint click as she hung up, leaving you alone with nothing but the hum of the empty line, and the feeling that you’d just lost the best part of yourself.

...

looking at it now, you knew what is the right thing. if your parents won't accept you for who you really are, they are not family. parents should never make her kids feel like they don't belong somewehere as if love could be conditional based on who are you keeping in your heart. paige left a few seconds ago. you're gonna follow her.

you're the risk, I'm gonna take it

right when you stepped out of the apartment door, the rain started pouring and you could see the tall blonde girl who you won't give up on. you ran. you're gonna finally get your girl back.

"paige!" you yelled, making her turn around in surprise as you caught up to her. "i'm so sorry for everything i should've found a way out of all that i shouldn't have left you for a family that isn't even a family. your arms felt more like home than my house ever did. and i'm so mad i let this drag on for too long i love you, i'm sorry."

she didn't answer. her blonde hair looked dark from the water. a few strands of hair were stuck to her forehead. she smiled. grapped your face, pulling you closer to her, attaching her lips to yours. "i miss you, i'm sorry."

you pulled away, confusion painted over your face. "what are you sorry for?" sou asked, she didn't had anything to be sorry about.

"gracie abrams has a song titled that and i know you like her so..." she's incredible. you laughed, pulling her into you, feeling the warmth of her body.

paige laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard, breaking through the rain like sunlight. “I want you to know that I get it,” she said, brushing the damp hair away from her face. “I know we’ve both messed up, but I’m still here. I still want this. I still want us.”

the relief that washed over you was almost overwhelming. “you have no idea how much that means to me,” you said, your voice breaking with emotion. “I thought I lost you for good.”

“no way,” she replied, her smile unwavering. “I’m not going anywhere. not this time.”

you hugged for a minute, then pulling away, and paige asked: "wanna get crumbl cookies?"

"yeah." you let out another chuckle, making your way to her car.

she's a risk that you're willing to take in any lifetime

[promenadewithme]

Glorious

a/n: I'm so sad that I accidentally lost the request for this! Long story short, I posted the unfinished story instead of saving it to my drafts, so I deleted it. It's been too long since I last posted and I promise I'll try to do so more often!! Also, this is my first time writing smut, so sorry if it's terrible!

Request: Cedric smut after quidditch practice

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Female! Reader

Warnings: smut (obviously), switch! Cedric (mostly sub), switch! Reader (mostly dom), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people!!), edging, orgasm denial, friends cockblocking ced (poor baby), dirty talk, slight breeding kink, praise and degradation.

Word count: I have no idea, but A LOT. More than I expected, to be honest. I want to say 4k of smut? (Don't come at me, I'm horny)

If you like this, reblog or (if you can and want to) buy me a coffee!

Glorious.

That was the word that came to mind as the one and only Cedric Diggory flew after the snitch. Autumn had just begun but summer has left its heat. And that left Cedric shirtless during training.

He was far away from where you sat, but his lean muscles glowed under the sun, leaving goosebumps on your skin despite the heatwave.

With or without a shirt, seeing your boyfriend train was a huge turn-on. His brows furrowed in concentration, his muscles straining to stay balanced on the broom, his agility and keen eye, the competitiveness of it all.

Of course, in the end, it was just a bunch if people playing with balls of all shapes and sizes. You were particularly a big fan of fondling in the bedroom, so why not cheer your boyfriend on while he did the same?

'Ok, maybe not the same. But we can't all be athletic.' You thought, just as Cedric laid eyes on the snitch.

"Come on, Ced!" You cheered, jumping up and down in the stands along with some of the other player's significant others and Hufflepuff supporters.

He flew quicker by the second, reaching out into the clouds. The golden ball was fast, but Cedric was faster. Soon enough, he caught the snitch and both teams went wild for their seeker.

Even though it was just a practice game, you cheered and jumped. Cedric caught your eyes from the other side of the field and flew toward you.

Every game he did the same thing, it became your tradition. The moment he caught the snitch, he flew your way for a celebratory kiss before touching the ground to cheer with his teammates.

"Hello, darling" he said with a huge grin before connecting his lips with yours.

Cedric deepened the kiss, urging you to part your lips with a brush of his tongue. You felt the saltiness as you swiped your own against his lips, but you didn't mind.

His warm tongue connected with yours a second later, causing a tingling sensation between your legs.

Cedric pulled away entirely too quickly, leaving you closed-eyed and chasing his lips. With a cocky grin and a wink, he flew down to where his team had already started removing their gear.

He would definitely pay for his teasing later. For now, you hiked your skirt a bit higher and went to meet him beside the locker rooms.

The two of you locked eyes and you made sure to sway your hips a bit more. His gaze scanned your body hungrily.

Due to the warm weather, you had removed your socks and tie, as well as opened your shirt. It hadn't been on purpose, but you were glad you did. If looks could kill, you'd be splayed and torn apart on Cedric's dick. Your thighs squeezed together in anticipation.

"(y/n)! Wait!" Exclaimed Luna, trotting down the bleachers.

You cursed under your breath and Cedric laughed before going into the changing rooms.

You loved Luna, she was one of your closest friends, but reading the room was definitely not one of her strong suits.

"Hi" she sighed, going in for a tight hug.

"Hey, Luna" you hugged her back just as tightly.

"Would you like to study potions later? I could use your help"

"Sure." You answered, starting down the stairs again, Luna trailing beside you "Lake or library?"

"Oh, library. The lake has too many distractions, I have to stay focused this time."

"Alright, after Snape’s class?"

"Yes, that will work perfectly." She nodded, wrote it down on her hand and turned to leave before glancing back with a smirk "have a nice time with Cedric, but do try not to get caught."

You stood there gobsmacked.

Purposely cockblocked by Luna Lovegood.

You laughed before heading towards the locker room.

Two players headed out, waving your way, as you leaned against the wall opposite of where Cedric was.

Fifteen more minutes went by and three players had left. You crossed your arms and sighed.

'What in Merlin's name is taking so long?' You asked yourself, patience growing thinner by the minute.

When your watch marked twenty-five minutes since the players went in, the 6th player left and Cedric was still nowhere to be found.

You decided to wait five more minutes.

'You're just being impatient. Calm the hell down, (y/n)' you told yourself, taking a deep breath.

But 30 minutes was too much. Not for you, but for Cedric. He bathes like there's a ticking time bomb in the showers.

'Is he hurt?' The thought crossed your mind and your feet lead you inside.

The air was humid and hot around you.

"Cedric?" You whisper-yelled "I swear to Merlin, if you're dead in here, I'll kill you."

A groan made you stop in your tracks.

"Cedric?" You called out, moving towards the deep breathing.

Rounding the corner, you found a sight picked straight out of your dirtiest maladaptive daydreams.

Your boyfriend was naked and wet. Cedric's left hand tried to grip the wall, beads of water trailing down his tense biceps and lower. It flowed down his torso and lower even, to where his right hand held a tight grip around his cock, pumping up and down in a slow and sensual pace.

"Took you long enough" he said, a smirk on his face.

Striding towards him, you smirked right back. Removing your uniform and shoes, then, ever so slowly, your underwear. A groaning Cedric quickened his pace at the sight of you.

You entered the shower, closing the water, as Cedric released his dick and grabbed your waist, pulling you into him.

He went straight for your lips, just as slow and sensual as his former pace.

Your hands went separate ways. One towards his hair, that pulled the short strands back to break the kiss. The other wrapped around his arousal, stroking till the tip.

The mixture of both sensations had Cedric moaning your name fervently.

"Who said you could start without me?" You whispered in his ear.

"Didn't mean to, didn't think you'd take this long to come find me" he replied, kissing your neck right where he knew your knees would go weak.

"You'll still have to pay for your hastiness."

"You know I love your punishments, darling" he grins and catches your lips in a passionate kiss. Tongues circling, teeth clashing and bodies drawing impossibly closer.

Your hand started stroking his swollen flesh again, drawling low and soft moans from his lips.

"I know, love." You soothed, but your hand only moved faster, your grip tighter.

A string of curses escaped his lips.

"(y/n)" he whimpered.

"You're so close, aren't you?" You cooed.

"So close, so close" he answered frantically.

"Not quite yet, I can't let you off the hook that easily." You said, halting your movements.

He let out a dissapointed groan.

"Don't be ungrateful, darling." You teased, "You'll come soon enough"

A bead of pre-cum leaked from his tip. You gathered it in your thumb and brought it to your lips, sucking the saltiness seductively.

Cedric's pupils were blown wide and an almost primal look took over his features.

You grabbed his neck and kissed him with everything you had, doing all the things you knew would drive him wild, then pulled away. He was left closed eyed, chasing your lips.

But you hadn't had all your fun yet. With a grin on your face, you turned around and headed towards your clothes.

"Darling?" he asked.

You ignored him, putting on your shirt and probably missing a few buttons in the process. You saw Cedric grab his towel, a confused look on his face. You put on your skirt and threw your lace underwear his way. He grabbed them with slightly wide eyes.

"I'd get ready quickly if I were you. If I wait too long for you, I might start by myself." with a wink, you left a bungling Cedric hurriedly drying himself.

You let out a low giggle while strutting out the locker rooms. You were leaving the field when Cedric caught up with you, shirt half open, your lace panties between his teeth, and still buttoning up his pants.

You stifled a giggle at the sight and walked faster. He tripped, but managed to catch himself.

Before long, he was fully dressed and walking fast beside you, glancing your way every few seconds with a giddy smile on his face.

That is, until Harry Potter started calling after him.

His eyes widened slightly, he grabbed your arm and said "Don't you dare stop walking"

With a playful smile on your face, you released your arm from his grip and turned towards the griffindor.

"Hello, Harry!" You smiled widely, mosty because of the impatient look on Cedric's face.

"Hey, (y/n)," he turned towards your boyfriend "Cedric, can I talk to you for a second?" the boy looked at you for a split second before returning his gaze to Cedric "Alone."

"Actually, we-"

"Of course! Take your time, Harry!" You answered, overly amiable.

As you started walking away, Cedric grabbed your arm again.

"(y/n)'s not feeling very well, I have to take care of her. Can we do this another time?"

"Oh, nonsense! You know I can take care of myself." You said, untangling yourself from him, "Besides, I feel much better now. I might even -"

Your words were cut off as Cedric pulled you against his chest.

"I'm sure (y/n) won't tell a soul, there's nothing you can say to me that you can't say to her."

Harry reluctantly started saying something about some girl. Maybe Cho? Ginny? You had no idea. You were too busy feeling Cedric's hard cock against your backside, his hands pressing at your stomach to hold you as close as possible.

You looked up at him and he had a smug look on his face. He knew what he was doing.

His lips were moving, but all you could thing about was his dick inside you, pounding over and over again until your whole body shook.

"What do you think, (y/n)?"

Your name pulls you back from your lustful state and you realise the words came from Harry. He looked doubtful and insecure. You understood him, you'd been in a similar situation after all. Who never has? Pining after someone and not knowing if they'll ever want you back? Too shy and insecure to do anything about it? It was a universal experience.

"I think that I never would have told Cedric about my feelings if he didn't make the first move. I never would have told him how I felt and we wouldn't be together now." You held Cedric's hands on your stomach and smiled at the memory of him first coming to speak with you.

"I think that you will never know how she feels if you never ask. Life is about taking risks. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but that only means that person wasn't the one for you. You are remarkable, Harry Potter. If anyone does not want you it's their loss, not yours. And if they do want you, they'll be extremely lucky to have you."

The boy was blushing by the end of your speech and Cedric smiled down at you.

"D'you really think so?" he asked, but a smile pulled at his lips.

"I do." you answered sincerely.

"Ok, Potter, cheers mate. We gotta go." Cedric said, taking your hand, not waiting for a reply before jogging through the halls, dragging you along with him.

Your laughter echoed through the halls and your stomach clenched in anticipation. Cedric lead you down the stairs and past the kitchens, his face no longer humorous.

He tapped the rhythm to "Helga Hufflepuff" on the right barrel and immediately pushed through, pulling you along with him. You both made your way to his dorm, thanking Merlin once again that prefects have individual rooms.

The click of the lock closing resonated through the room and the only noise left was your heavy breathing as you gazed as one another.

You made the first move, slowly unbuttoning your shirt and leaving it to fall on the floor. Cedric watched, unmoving, as you unzipped your skirt and let it fall as well.

You leaned against the door and he looked at you with a predatory gaze, but you both knew who was in charge.

"Kneel." you commanded and Cedric immediately obeyed, falling to his knees in front of you, holding the back of your thighs.

"Did I say you could touch me?" you asked, raking your hands through his hair.

He removed his hands from you, but begged "I need you so much, please. Can I make you come?" his pupils were blown wide, his brows furrowed, and his erection pressing against his pants.

"Only because you asked so nicely" you answered sweetly and Cedric sighed, his head falling to your mound.

His hands massaged your buttocks as he gave you kisses so close yet so far to where you needed him most.

"Now," you breathed "you are going to give me head and make me cum. Can you do that, baby?"

"Please," he whimpered, kissing your mound, "wanna taste you so bad, darling."

"Go ahead, Ced."

He immediately complied, hiking your right leg over his shoulder and licking from your entrance to your clit. You gasped, steadying yourself against the wall and he moaned against you.

"Always taste so good, my love."

Cedric licked and sucked like a starved man, tearing moan after moan from you.

"Cedric" you whimpered, gripping his hair to bring him closer or push him away. You didn't even know anymore.

He swirled his tongue around your clit before lowering his mouth to your entrance again and plunging his tongue inside. Your groan was loud enough for anyone in the hufflepuff common room and adjacent to hear as he fucked you slowly with his tongue.

"Just like that, baby."

He complied, keeping the same rhythm. In and out, in and out.

Your walls started clenching and warmth spread across your lower stomach, but it still wasn't enough.

"I need more." you said, looking down at him.

Like a good boy, he started stroking your clit with his thumb and worked his tongue faster.

Like that wasn't enough, he looked up at you and just the sight of him on his knees for you, with disheveled hair, eating you out while his spare hand stroked his cock would have brought on your first orgasm.

Your body shook and your knees gave out, but Cedric still held you and kept using his tongue to help you ride out your high.

When it was too much, you pulled his head away from your core by his hair.

"You were so good, my love." You caressed his face "Until you started touching yourself."

"I wasn't going to make myself come, I swear." He stood up "I just wanted to feel good."

"I'll make you feel good, baby." you dragged your finger and nails down his torso, leaving goosebumps as you told him to lie down on the bed.

"Finish taking your clothes off," you said, looking around "I want you naked when I get on that bed."

Finding what you were looking for, you crawled over your boyfriend's body and sat down on top of his erection. The direct contact with your heat made him swear.

You put his arms above his head and bound his wrists to the headboard with your house's tie.

"Please, I swear I won't touch myself." he pulled at the tie "I just wanna touch you, darling."

"Oh, I can't let you do that." you propped your hands on his chest and started a tortuously slow drag of your hips up and down his length, "You've been misbehaving a lot this afternoon. You only get to touch me when you've been a good boy."

"I'll be a good boy, I promise." he whimpered.

"We'll see about that." you answered, grinding a bit faster against him.

His hands were white from pulling at the tie, his breathing laboured and his hips shaking with restraint.

You leaned forward, your breasts falling to his face, "Suck on them."

He leaned towards them and captured your left nipple with his mouth. His nibbling and sucking tore moans from you and made you fasten your pace on his cock.

"Gonna come soon." he managed before turning his attention to your right nipple.

You took his jaw in your hand and kissed him passionately before resting your forehead against his.

His cock started twitching beneath you and Merlin if it didn't bring you an instant from your second orgasm, but you pulled away all at once.

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes and his dick kept spasming, his hips bulking.

Cedric whimpered.

"I know, I know." you cooed "You're doing so good, but I'm not done punishing you just yet."

You connected your lips one last time before making your way to the foot of the bed, caressing his leg as you walked. The growing wetness and incessant pulse between your thighs made you clench them.

"You did so good at training today, Ced." you praised him, "And you looked so handsome, too."

You got on the bed once more, between his legs this time, and he looked down at you.

"Wanted your pretty cock in my mouth the whole time."

He moaned as you started stroking his length, a bead of pre-cum falling onto your hand.

"Please, I want to be inside you." he begged, thrusting into your hand.

"Soon enough, my love." you answered kissing his tip, earning you a hiss "Have patience."

Your mouth watered as you looked at his engorged member, hard against his abs. All flustered cheeks, glistening skin, and shallow breaths, Cedric awaited your next move.

"Glorious." You breathed to yourself, but the seeker flushed even more from the praise.

Your eyes went back to his cock and the vein on the underside was your first target. You heard his moan as you licked him from base to tip, then took him inside your mouth all at once.

His hips bulked and his head hit the back of your throat, making you gag. Your pulse quickened everywhere.

Bobbing your head up and down, sucking harder at the head, you pushed Cedric closer to the edge.

He moaned your name like a prayer, over and over, and you kept up your pace even as tears fell from your eyes and drool spread down your chin.

"Touch my balls." He gasped and you complied, smiling around him.

You cupped and massaged his scrotum, already heavy with cum and you imagined all that inside of you. Moaning at the thought, you gave Cedric one last suck before getting up on your knees to untie him.

His hands flew to your hips and his lips to yours.

"You had your fun, darling, now it's my turn." he said, voice deep and eyes dark. His pupils were so dilated you could barely see the usual grey.

Holding your body to his, he flipped the both of you and looked down at you with one arm holding his weight beside your body, the other hand softly grazing your body.

"Hello, gorgeous." he smiled, diving to kiss you.

You kissed him back, tongues caressing each other and hands roaming.

Two fingers slid from your entrance to your clit and you shuddered.

"So wet for me, aren't you?" he took his digits to his lips and sucked them clean, you bit your bottom lip to contain a moan.

The sight alone could have made you cum.

"I need you to use your words, darling. I'm going to fuck you into the mattress right now, alright?" he said, caressing your face.

The contrast between his words and his tenderness had you squirming "Please." was all you could manage.

Taking his swollen cock, he teased you, dragging the head up and down your slit then circling your clit.

"Hurry!" you whined and he immediately obliged, completely sheathing his cock in your entrance.

Both gasping, your walls clenched around him and Cedric steadied himself against the bed.

Your mingling breaths evened out a bit before Cedric slowly pulled out until the tip and rutted back in again.

One of your hands shot up to hold his biceps while the other splayed against his back.

His length hit deep, hard and slow, making you dizzy.

He moaned your name in your ear, hair brushing the side of your face. Your legs made their way around his waist, letting him hit even deeper and you clenched harder around him.

"Fuck, darling." he groaned, quickening his pace "Need you to come for me, can you do that?"

His every thrust lead you to your second orgasm. How deep he hit, the moans and grunts he let out, how every plunge of his hips rubbed against you clit, the look he had in his eyes.

Every one of your muscles clenched and shook, Cedric moaned, and you let out a cry as blinding pleasure exploded through your body.

Even as you came down from your high, the thrusts didn't stop. If anything, they were harder and faster.

Cedric pulled out and turned you over, bringing your ass towards him. He plunged himself in again and continued his thrusts just as deep and fast as before.

You bit the pillow as he gave your ass a smack, but he still heard your low groan.

"You like that, don't you?" he spanked you again, a bit harder this time, and you cried out "My pretty little cock slut."

You moaned incoherently as he hit just the right spot over and over.

"Gonna come inside you, darling." he grunted.

Grabbing one of his hands placed on your hips, you looked back at him and, as always, the sight was glorious.

Cedric could have been sculpted by the gods themselves, with a layer of sweat that made his skin glow, veins and lean muscles bulging, and sexual prowess you were sure no human should have been made to have.

Interlacing your fingers, he looked into your eyes then shot his head up and his thrusts became sloppier. His dick started swelling inside you and you moaned. He was close and so were you.

"Fill me up, Ced. Wanna be so full of you." was the last thing you managed to say before your walls clenched tightly around him and you let out a silent scream.

Cedric poured out a string of curses and gave one final deep thrust before you felt his release coat your walls. Breathing laboured and bodies exhausted, he fell to his side and brought your body with him.

"You did so good, baby." he praised, kissing your hair, then asked sweetly "Do you need anything? Water, a bath?"

You turned around and curled into him "Just you."

He smiled and kissed your forehead "You'll always have me."

"I love you." you murmured into his chest.

Cedric's heart swelled in his chest and he said "I love you." but you were already asleep.

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Baby Come Back

➥ summary: miles misses his girl even though he won’t admit to to himself or anyone else, but when he sees her starting to move on without him, naw that settles it. It’s time to win his baby girl back

➥ a/n: this was inspired by @laaailuh fic “I Miss You”

The tension in the air was palpable as Miles Morales, also known as the Prowler, and his girlfriend (y/n) stood face to face in his small apartment. Their voices were raised, and emotions ran high, as they found themselves entangled in a heated argument.

"I can't do this anymore, Miles!" (y/n) exclaimed, her eyes filled with frustration and hurt. "You've been distant, shutting me out, and taking your anger out on me. It's not fair!"

Miles clenched his fists, trying to find the right words to express the turmoil inside him. "I know I've been a mess since my dad died," he admitted, his voice tinged with sorrow. "But I'm trying to deal with it in my own way."

(y/n) took a step back, her heart heavy with the weight of his words. "I understand that you're going through a lot, but you can't just push me away and expect me to stick around," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I need to be with someone who can share their pain with me, not shut me out."

Miles felt a surge of guilt wash over him, knowing that he had been unfair to (y/n). He loved her deeply, but the darkness of his grief had consumed him, making it difficult for him to see beyond his own pain.

"I don't want to lose you," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "I need you, (y/n). Please, don't leave."

(y/n)'s eyes welled up with tears, torn between her love for Miles and the toll his emotional distance was taking on her. "I love you too, Miles, but I can't keep being hurt like this," she said, her voice choked with sadness. "You need to confront your grief and find a way to heal, for both of us."

As the words hung in the air, the weight of their unresolved issues seemed to crush them both. (y/n) turned away, unable to bear the pain in Miles' eyes, while he struggled to find the strength to let her go.

In the following days, the silence between them grew heavy and suffocating. They tried to carry on with their lives separately, but their hearts longed for the comfort and love they once shared.

One evening, as the sun set over the city, (y/n) made her decision. She couldn't keep waiting for Miles to heal on his own. She knew that it was time to face the truth and let go, even if it broke her heart.

She went to Miles' apartment, her footsteps echoing with each heavy step. The door opened, and Miles stood before her, his eyes red and swollen, a reflection of the pain he carried.

"I can't keep pretending that everything is okay," (y/n) said softly, her voice wavering. "I need to put myself first, and that means letting go."

Tears streamed down Miles' cheeks as he nodded, his heart aching with the weight of their decision. "I don't want to lose you, but I know I've been pushing you away," he said, his voice choked with regret. "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

They stood there, facing each other, knowing that their love wasn't enough to mend the broken pieces of their hearts. Their bond had been strong, but the weight of grief had shattered it.

With one last embrace, (y/n) turned away, her heart breaking as she walked away from the man she loved. The tears flowed freely as she left behind the life they once shared, but she knew that it was the right decision for both of them.

In the days that followed, the void left by their breakup was a constant reminder of the love they had lost. Miles faced his grief head-on, seeking counseling and support from friends and family, determined to find a way to heal.

And though they had parted ways, the memories of their love lingered in the corners of their hearts. The road ahead was uncertain, but they both knew that their journey towards healing had only just begun.

•••

In the days that followed the breakup, Miles Morales, also known as the Prowler, became even more withdrawn and closed off. The pain of losing (y/n) weighed heavily on his heart, and he found solace in isolating himself from his friends and emotions. He had always been good at hiding his feelings behind the mask of the prowler, but now it seemed like he was hiding from himself too.

At school, Miles tried to maintain a façade of indifference, a mask that he wore to shield himself from the questions and concerns of his friends. As he walked through the halls, he could feel the worried glances of his classmates, but he pretended not to notice.

During lunchtime, others approached him cautiously, their concern evident in their expressions. "Hey, Miles, are you doing okay?" Stu asked, his voice soft and caring.

He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to deflect their worries. "Yeah, I'm good," he replied with a forced smile. "It just didn't work out with (y/n), you know? It's whatever."

Stu exchanged a concerned glance with Anthony, realizing that Miles was trying to hide his pain. "You sure, man? We're here for you if you need to talk," he said gently.

Miles nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to share the turmoil inside him. "I appreciate it, but I'm fine," he insisted, avoiding eye contact with his friends. "I've got other stuff to focus on."

Just then the bell rang signaling that it was time for class.

As Miles sat in his classroom, his mind preoccupied with his own thoughts and emotions, he couldn't help but notice that (y/n) was just a few seats ahead of him. His heart clenched as he saw someone pass her a note discreetly.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he strained his eyes to catch a glimpse of the exchange. He could feel a pang of jealousy stirring within him, a reminder of the connection they once shared.

Trying to focus on the lesson, he fought the urge to look again. But as the minutes ticked by, his mind kept wandering back to the note. He couldn't shake the feeling of being left out, of no longer being a part of her life.

When the class finally ended, Miles gathered his belongings, but his feet felt heavy as he made his way towards the exit. He knew he should be moving on, but seeing (y/n) with someone else reminded him of what he had lost.

As he walked past her, he couldn't help but glance in her direction. Their eyes met briefly, and a mix of emotions washed over him. He wanted to say something, to reach out to her, but his pride held him back.

In the bustling school hallway, Miles mustered the courage to call out to (y/n) as she was making her way to her next class. "Hey, (y/n)!" he said, his voice a mix of nervousness and hope.

She turned around, surprised to see him, but she managed a polite smile. "Hey, Miles. What's up?" she asked, her guard up, unsure of what he wanted to talk about.

"I was wondering if we could meet up after school," he said, his eyes earnest. "There's something I really need to talk to you about."

(y/n) hesitated, her heart still guarded, but she knew that avoiding the conversation wouldn't resolve anything. "Miles, I don't think there's a need for us to talk," she replied, her voice measured. "It's all been said, hasn't it?"

Miles took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the words he wanted to say. "Please, cariño" he implored, "I just need a chance to explain and apologize. There's so much I want to say, and I can't keep pretending like everything's okay."

Her resolve softened as she saw the sincerity in his eyes. With a small sigh, she relented. "Okay, fine," she said, "but just this once, and only because I think we both deserve some closure."

•••

After school, they met at a nearby park, finding a quiet bench to sit on. The air between them was tense, but there was an unspoken understanding that they needed to have this conversation.

Miles began, his words slow and heartfelt. "I'm sorry,cariño, for shutting you out and being distant," he said, his voice tinged with remorse. "I've been dealing with so much since my dad's passing, and I didn't know how to handle it. But that's not an excuse for treating you the way I did."

She listened attentively, the wall around her heart slowly starting to crumble. "I know it was hard for you," she said softly, "but it was hard for me too. I felt like you pushed me away, and it hurt."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Miles replied, his gaze downcast. "I never meant to hurt you, (y/n). I just... I didn't know how to handle my emotions, and I thought if I pushed you away, it would protect you from my pain."

Her heart softened as she saw the vulnerability in his eyes. "You don't have to protect me, Miles," she said gently. "I wanted to be there for you, to help you through your grief."

He reached out and took her hand, his grip gentle yet pleading. "I wish I had let you in," he said, his voice filled with regret. "I wish I had talked to you about everything, instead of shutting you out."

Silence settled between them, the weight of their emotions palpable. (y/n) finally spoke, her voice tinged with sadness. "I miss you too, mi amor," she admitted, her eyes welling up with tears. "I miss us, but I don't know if we can go back to how things were."

Miles nodded, understanding the complexity of their situation. "I don't expect things to go back to normal right away," he said. "I just hope that we can find a way to move forward, even if it's not together."

Her heart ached, torn between the love she still felt for him and the uncertainty of their future. "I need time to heal too," she said softly. "But I'm willing to listen if you want to talk."

And so, beneath the setting sun, they started to open up to each other, their words filled with both pain and hope. As they talked, they realized that they needed to be honest about their feelings, even if it meant facing the difficult truths they had been avoiding.

Their conversation was raw and emotional, but it was a start. A start towards healing, towards understanding, and towards finding closure. Whether their paths would converge again or lead in different directions, they both knew that they had grown from their experiences and that they would always cherish the love they once shared.

[yorshie]

Hii, I just Saw that your request are open and I couldn't help myself because i just love your work so much, especially "Pick Up the phone", i just want to know more! Could you do after the incident how the relationship grew and if the turtles ended up together with her??

hmmmm...listen. I knew exactly where Pick Up The Phone was going eventually when I wrote it, I just got a wee bit distracted writing other things. I guess it's about time I completed the story, I'm just really sorry because I'm sure you weren't thinking there'd be this much angst in it. Thank you for requesting this, hope you like it enough to wait til the third part before you write off the story as just sad.

PICK UP THE SLACK

Bayverse TMNT x Fem Reader Part One

Length: 5.7k

Summary/warnings: SFW, reader deals with the fallout of witnessing the turtles commit violence on her behalf. Warnings include: angst, trauma and coping with that trauma, panic attacks, complicated relationships, and, because when I wrote the first part the relationship was a bit vague, we're going with turtles have caught Feelings but reader isn't aware. Set in 2023 - turtles are 24-25

Tag list: @jackalope-in-a-storm @tmnt-tychou @spooneyes

[Hey Angel! Would you like to come hang out for a little bit? I’m grabbing some noodles and Leo’s pulled out some of his old tapes?]

You stared at the text, thumb hovering over the keyboard, torn between answering- even if it was just a few words- and not responding at all.

Outside your apartment, an early summer storm curled its way in-between the buildings, fog pressing up against the window like a hand pressing its palm flat against the glass. While it wasn’t raining yet, the way your soft hair clung to your sweater said it would soon.

Your arm itched in it’s colorful cast, and your phone screen dimmed from inactivity, pulling your attention back to the problem at hand. You sighed, set the little device to the side before curling in on yourself and scrubbing your free hand over you face.

You didn’t mean to avoid the turtles. It just sort of happened… before you realized it was happening.

Memories of that night were a little hazy, a little blurry when you tried to focus on them. You remember Donnie and Leo dropping you off at the hospital in the wee hours of the morning, Donnie clipping something to the back of your ear to help them keep track of you before Leo nudged you towards the emergency room doors.

You remember the nurses fussing over you, asking questions. You gave them the answers Donnie whispered to you over the little comm, too tired and out of it to keep anything straight. You were barely aware of the way people danced around you, the pointed questions, too preoccupied with the burn in your arm and the fog in your head to worry about what anyone else thought.

They tried to get you to talk to a social worker when you doggedly reiterated your story over and over. When you refused, the nurses traded looks, and it bothered you more that they thought you weren’t aware enough to clock the silent messages than their obvious conclusion to your injuries. 

Finally, after hours of dancing around, they confirmed that your arm was broken, but the break was clean and not all the way through, the doctor coming in to set the cast correctly before leaving you to the nurses once more.

They tried to keep you overnight for observation. When you refused that as well, they slapped a prescription in your hands to help with the pain and you were finally free, too far gone to worry about a tail following you out despite Donnie whispering in your ear.

You left by the front door, not really sure but walking on autopilot, unaware you were moving away from your watching protectors. Leo had scooped you up at the first alleyway you’d crossed, gaze curious. You knew he wanted to ask what was wrong, but you didn’t have an answer to give him. Not one that you could articulate, anyway.

The trip back to your apartment was a blur, but you remember distinctly standing in the middle of your living room, aware that someone had been in your space recently. Things had been moved. It wasn’t quite a good feeling, but you were too spaced to do more than blink and watch silently as Leo brushed past you and headed for your bathroom. He returned with a small bag of toiletries, and you hadn’t had the clarity to wonder how he knew what to grab.

“Why?” You’d asked, and maybe you’d tried to get out more words, but your throat was still so tight, the rest of the sentence trailing off into a slurred hum that had Donnie reaching for your arm.

“Raph forgot your toothbrush. “Leo said like it was common sense, tone gentle despite his tilted head, and you blinked again, an errant, floating thought wondering why Raph was even here in the first place.

Without thinking, you had looked around at your little space again. You swayed, silent, until you clocked movement in the corner of your vision and you realized both turtles were watching you worriedly. 

“I want… to stay here.” You slurred out, pressing a hand up to your eye to keep your brain in place.

“You have a concussion.” Donnie interjected softly, practical and no nonsense. His hand slid up your arm to palm the side of your face, to cover your hand. “It’s really not a good idea for you to be alone right now.”

“But…” You tried to tilt your head up to look at him, failing somewhere around his shoulders.

“No buts,” Leo said, and you realized you had trailed off mid-thought. “You’re going to the Lair where we can watch over you. I don’t like how fast you’re deteriorating.”

You didn’t want to- might have even opened your mouth to slur out a weak protest, but Donnie was already hoisting you up, curling his lean arms around your torso and legs to keep you close against him as he followed Leo back out the window.

You had conceded to staying the night in the Lair, let the four turtles take turns making sure you were alright, suffered through the wake up checks before being lulled back to sleep against one of them while the tv played softly in the background, low enough that the sound garbled everything around you. 

You weren’t exactly sure who was who, but you knew you woke up to each of them at least one, vibrant eyes staring into your own and fingers smoothing over the angles of your cheekbones, too close and too personal. You weren’t sure if it was your skin or theirs that felt feverish. Weren’t sure if it was your dreams or them that kept you jolting awake, crying and sweaty, but you were always aware of how strong their hands held you, how alien the rumble in their chests sounded, and the inky darkness always pressing at the edge of your vision.

In the morning you had bullied Mikey into taking you home, claiming the need of showering in your own space. He had conceded after you had threatened walking,  sweet face falling into sadness when he had waffled and you had started outright bawling at the overwhelmed feeling gripping your chest.

Mikey had dropped you off at your apartment, and you had locked the window, turned off your phone, and bawled in the shower for an hour straight.

That had been two weeks ago. Now, the weather was turning, the first pings of rain occasionally hitting your window, and- and your phone was vibrating on the couch seat next to you.

“Please.” You whispered into your hands, before unfurling and letting your head rest against the couch cushions to stare at the ceiling. “Please, stop checking in on me.”

The phone stopped buzzing as if it heard your plea, and you had a moment of blissful numbness, your eyes sliding to half mast as you stared at the opposite wall.

You didn’t know what was wrong with you, why your thoughts moved so slow, so tepid. You didn’t understand why you were avoiding the turtles, your friends, but somewhere in the back of your mind you were scared and tired of the way your hands shook, of the way you kept looking around for the next thing coming. It had to stop.

All at once, you felt that awful ball of emotion in your chest again. The one that hadn’t fully disappeared since you had broken down in the harsh light of Donnie’s medical room, when the turtles had held your breaking pieces together. The seesaw of emotions teetered violently under your skin.

You needed to be held together. 

Your phone started buzzing again, and this time your palm landed down on it with an audible smack, hand curling around to answer before you could think about the consequences.

“Mikey?” You rasped into the speaker, not quite sure what exactly you were asking but hoping he’d have an answer.

“Um… no. It’s me.” Came Leo’s apologetic tone, and you winced hard, but before you could apologize he was barreling onwards, “I can- I can get Mike for you-”

“Leo.” You wanted to shout his name, but it came out quiet. He stopped though, mid sentence, silent as he waited. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally choked out. “I saw Mikey’s message, thought it was him calling.”

“Ah.” Leo breathed into the phone, and your lips almost twitched, the sound familiar despite all the times you’d tried to teach him how to angle his phone so the air wouldn’t whistle. “That’s… why I’m calling, actually? We thought maybe you hadn’t seen it.”

“I saw.” You were quiet for another minute, your mouth opening and closing several times, trying to get the words you wanted to come out but they stayed lodged in the back of your throat, tasting more awful with every passing second.

Leo was patiently quiet through it all, though you know he must have heard you lick your lips and your breath stutter each time you tried to start. Finally though, just as you were on the brink of whining at whatever it was you were failing to articulate, he spoke, his words a low rumble that rubbed against your ears.

“I wish you were here.” He said, and it unfurled something tight in your chest. “We miss you.”

And just like that, whatever was in your throat came out like a sob, and you pressed your arm across your eyes and leaned forward, emotion running from your throat to your chest in a heady rush until you couldn’t tell if it was elation or a sharp stab.

“I miss you guys too.” You got it out, somehow, too raw to know if you were telling the truth, but it was ripped out of you. 

Leo made that low noise that you had only heard a handful of times before, where he was concerned but stuck, and the sound had you hiccuping at the knowledge that with this he couldn’t just pick you up and run from the danger.

“Can… can you come get me?” You started, stopped, powered through, and he answered too quickly, like he had been waiting for those words to leave your mouth.

“Raph’s on his way.” His tongue clicked, voice disappearing for a moment in what you assumed was his head pulling away to check on something. “Should- he should be there any minute.”

There was the heady rush of elation, the swoop at the top of the roller coaster you were waiting on. It felt a lot like falling though. You dug your nails deeply into your leg to stay focused.

“Stay on the phone?” With me, but it felt a little too much like an admission to breathe it out, but he didn’t hesitate in his answer.

“Of course.” 

You breathed out low, letting the soft sounds from his side of the phone lull you back into a sort of calm numbness. You weren’t sure if a minute passed, or ten, but all too soon there was a tap at your window and you startled. 

Leo must have heard the way your breath hitched. “Raph?”

“Y-yeah,” you pressed your palm into you eye, trying to steady yourself. “Guess… I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, yeah. You will.” He promised, stubborn enough to make you be the one to hang up. 

You don’ think Leo warned his brother, because when you drew back the curtain to unlock the window, you could feel Raph burning a stare into the side of your head despite the way you kept your eyes stubbornly on the tricky task of unlocking the latch one handed.

He took over the job as soon as you lifted it enough for him to wedge his fingers under the pane. The window rattled a bit when he shoved it upwards with a grunt, and you flinched at the sound, before cutting off all movement at the feel of a heavy hand settling on the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“Sweetheart?” He asked, thumb moving across skin made sensitive from you scrubbing at it. “Who- whose ass am I-”

“It’s nothing.” You whispered up at him, ducking away from his hand before chasing it with your own on instinct. You shivered at the way his hand swallowed yours whole and had grip left over for your wrist. “Just… feeling a bit-”

He pulled you closer, and you heard the sound you had gotten acquainted with the night they had watched over you, that rumble deep under his plastron that lingered at the edge of your auditory range. “Are you ok?”

No. “Yes.” Your eyes burned at the outright lie, and he leveled a shoulder against the edge of your window, raised his other hand to slide a knuckle under your chin. “Not… really.” 

You whispered the confession with eyes fixed just over his shoulder, and he tilted his head until all you could see was the color of his bandana. “Talked to… Leo, about it… a bit. Just- well.” You brought up your free hand to press at your forehead, and the hand under your chin slid away. “Not really sure what’s… going on. Sorry.”

“You don’t gotta be sorry.” Raph assured you, tugging your other hand down when you started scrubbing at your face again, grip gentle on your cast. “As long as no one needs a lesson on not messin’ with ya.”

You shivered at the reminder, and the feeling of his hands swallowing yours became just a little to visceral for a moment. When you tried to tug out of his grip, he let you, though his rough sigh showed his frustration at the action. 

You turned your head to the side to avoid the feeling that sound pulled up. “Can we… just go to the Lair?”

“Gotta say somethin’, first.” Raph argued, and you sighed roughly, but nodded for him to continue.

The ledge under the window creaked as he leaned through it, and you felt his fingers whisper over the nape of your neck before he cupped it, finger nudging the far side of your jaw to convince you to look at him.

You did, slowly, hand coming to absently rub at the thin skin above your cast where it suddenly itched. 

“The last thing I ever wanna do,” He spoke lowly, holding your gaze, “is hurt you, sweetheart. I need you to know that, ok?”

You stared into his green flecked eyes, the color starting to swim as you felt tears well up. You blinked hard, nodding when he made a questioning rumble, and didn’t stutter at the feel of his thumb wiping across your face.

“Good. S’long as you know that.” He blew out a breath. When you reopened your eyes, and gave you a small crooked smile that looked like a shadow of the one he normally threw your way. “You ready to get going?”

You nodded, voice still locked in your tight throat, and took his offered hand to help clamber over the sill, straddling the worn wood before he leveled his weight backwards and you had enough room to sling your good arm over his shoulders.

The rain was soft pricks of cold across the back of your neck, Raph’s shell icy where your arm was pressed against it. You had a moment to wonder if you should climb back inside for a coat, but Raph’s next words drowned out the thought.

“Hold on tight with that arm.” He warned, his own arm slotting under your thighs, hand curling around one knee while the other squeezed just under his shell. “Taking the fast route through the tunnels, so might be best to close your eyes, princess.”

You nodded into his neck, breathing out slow when he abruptly let go of the ledge and you both free fell through the fog.

Leo was the first one you saw when you and Raph entered the Lair through the turnstiles, arms crossed and swaying back and forth, eyes trained on the floor as he listened to Donnie speak. The purple turtle was leaning against the table, long legs crossed in front of him, gesturing with his hands as he made some point to the leader in blue.

“-perfectly normal to come away from that with trauma, we should have been on the look out for it.” 

Leo made some low sound at that, shaking his head in denial. “You know for a fact this wasn’t suppose to happen, whether or not we were on the look out for-” He broke off when he caught sight of the two of you, straightening and going still, and the change in his stance was enough to have Donnie turning around to squint as well.

“Mother hens say ‘what’.” Raph groused, large hand only tightening around the bend of your knee when you tried to slide out of his grip. The added height meant you didn’t have to crane up to meet the other two’s gaze, and after a moment you leaned back against Raph’s covered shoulder, let his shoulder pad bite into the slope of your head as Leo moved to stand in front of the red turtle.

“Hey.” He said, gaze flicking to your arm before settling on your face. You could see Donnie’s lips compress out of the corner of your eye, feel the tendons in Raph’s neck flex as he no doubt rolled his eyes.

You gave Leo a tight lipped smile, knew from the way both his and Donnie’s eyes jumped around your face that it was still rubbed raw from crying and scratching at it. “I was told there would be old movies and noodles?”

Leo blew out a breath at your words, his shoulders sagging, but Donnie stepped forward, hands careful as he gestured towards your cast and ran his thumbs along your limb when you held it outwards.

“Any new pain?” He asked, and when you shook your head no he seemed pleased, one hand sliding to cup along the back of your shoulder. “Well that’s good. I’ve projected that you should only have six more weeks in the cast, but I’d still like to take a proper look sometime tonight.”

The thought of going back into the sterile medical room had you swallowing heavily, pulse jumping as nausea rose up to press at your throat. “I don’t- I don’t think-”

“You don’t have to if you don’t wanna.” Raph said from behind you, and your head dipped, pulling your arms back in to hold them tight against your sides. “Don doesn’t have’ta poke-”

You didn’t really hear what he was saying, mouth moving on autopilot, a small voice prompting you to explain instead of keeping everything wrong wedged up under your ribs. When you interrupted him, Raph’s jaw all but snapped shut. 

“-I don’t… want to go in that room again.” You said, more to the hand still locked around your knee than anyone else.

Donnie’s thumb rubbed a soothing stroke across your shoulder, and you made yourself relax into the motion, finding it comfortable when the digit repeated the trek. “Alright, that’s perfectly fine.” He bobbed his head, glasses catching on the light. “As long as there’s nothing new, it should be fine.”

You nodded to show you understood, and Leo spoke up again. “Mikey’s still getting the food, but would you mind waiting on the couch while we do some last minute cleaning?” 

You shook your head no, not missing the way glances were traded over your tendency to remain non-verbal. 

“Ok, then. I’ll start one of those movies to keep you company until we’re done.” Leo murmured, then led the way into the living room area, bending to shuffle an old tape out of its cover and into the player. You were distracted from watching him when Raph finally released your knee and let you slip onto the blanket covered couch. 

“Be right back.” He tapped the top of your head to make sure he had your attention. “Don’t go disappearin, kay?”

“Kay.” You made yourself say, just to break your silence. You were rewarded with a little quirk of his lips, and a searching look from Donnie before the three shuffled out of the room and left you with the tv turned down low.

The movie was about a blind samurai, you thought, the opening scene a little familiar. Leo must have shown it to you before, but the monotone coloring was soothing, the subtitles large, blocky and blurry before you closed your eyes and just listening to the way the voices ebbed and flowed, uncaring that you didn’t have any idea what they were saying.

It wasn’t… as difficult, now that you were here. As long as you didn’t go into the medical room. And it was good to see your friends again. Something tight slowly started to ease in your muscles. The Lair was always a safe space, had always been a place you looked forward to visiting when you were invited. You repeated the mantra as the music from the movie started to swell.

The skin above your cast itched again, and you snuck a finger into the space right at the edge, dragged a nail along the little area. A lull in the movie’s soundtrack, and you hummed, knowing a fight scene was coming up, before faint voices had your eyes cracking open.

You sat up slowly, turning just your head to better catch where the words were coming from. 

That was Donnie’s voice, just out of sight, and a harsh answering whisper that sounded like Raph had you moving on autopilot, feet quiet as you slipped a little rounding the couch. The whispers led you to the edge of Donnie’s half dome of monitors, the voices tucked behind the half closed door that led deeper into the Lab space.

“-get your head out your shell and stop pushing.” It was a patient tone you had heard a couple of times, a patent Leo Lecture, as Mikey called them behind his brother’s back to make you and Donnie snort with laughter.

Raph’s voice was much rougher in answering, “‘M not pushin, Fearless. All I did was tell her I didn’t want to hurt her, that’s it.”

“That’s obviously enough to set her off, Raphael.” Leo's stern words were followed by the sound of a palm shoving a face, and you wondered who shoved who before Donnie’s words cut between the two, and in-between your ribs.

“None of us thought it would turn out like this, but we shouldn’t jump to conclusions until we figure out what the problem is exactly. Obviously,” he lingered on the word, “she’s experiencing some fight or flight response concerning us, but it could be left over from the ‘experience’, not our feelings for-.”

“She doesn’t know anything about that.” Raph cut in. “Or it’s not what’s buggin’ her. Came right to me when I got there.”

Your heart stopped, then thundered over itself to make up the difference, and you swallowed hard enough to feel the pull in the tendons on either side of your throat protest. 

“Whether or not she knows, it’s enough that she’s on edge.” Leo’s voice came out clipped, tight, and you took a little step to the side, fingers finding the edge of Donnie’s desk as you struggled to listen through deep breaths. “We had a plan. It was working.”

“If that fucker hadn’t needed a beatdown, we wouldn’t be back to square one, but it is what-”

A hand, palm cool and callused, skirted up your cast free arm, and you shrieked, jumping backwards, hitting Donnie’s desk and sending half the bobbits strew across the surface clattering into the floor.

You were crying before you even registered it was Mikey, the orange turtle cooing and apologetic as he tightened his grip on you and tried calming you down. “Hey, babes- baby, I’m so sorry, please-”

You were shoving at him, ineffectively, palms scraping across the buckles of his backpack, but the sound of the heavy door you’d been eavesdropping at opening violently had you babbling out your own apologies at the green blobs with splashes of color across their faces crowded around you. Your heart thundered in your chest, color high in your face and nose running like a leaky faucet as they tried again and again to get you to calm down.

When they realized you weren’t calming down, and your breathing was turning into high pitched wheezes as your throat closed up in panic, you found yourself picked up, carried through the Lair. You squawked in panic when you thought they were heading for the medical room before whoever was holding you split to the right and the bathroom door loomed up instead.

It wasn’t until you were plopped down in front of one of the personalized sinks that you realized Leo had apparently lost the battle with his ‘get you someplace safe’ instincts, but his distraction with checking you over allowed you to shove your cast into his beak and duck into one of the widened bathroom stalls, effectively putting a barrier up between you and the four turtles.

You slid the flimsy lock home, and braced your arm across the door, shivering and heaving for breath between sobs. The four turtles were murmuring to themselves, not being quiet at all but the roaring in your ears kept you from making out words. With a stilted heave that whistled through your closed throat, you banged your fist against the door, the action sending vibrations through your muscles and tethering you to the ground.

The outside door shut, and for a moment you thought you were alone, that they had left you to settle. The thought had you pressing your forehead against the inside of your elbow, a stifled sob hitching your shoulders.

“Babes?” Michelangelo asked, and every muscles in your body went taunt once more.

He was quiet, though you could hear the sound of his palm sliding across the closed door, before the heavy sigh of him sitting outside the stall had you peering down, just seeing the bottom of his shell tucked against the tile.

“I’m sorry for grabbing you.” He said plainly, and as if a rope was cut, you breathed shakily into your arm, pressing your open mouth hard against your skin. You sunk down slowly, knowing he could hear you moving, until you crouched just behind him. If not for the door, you’d be splayed against his shell.

“You mean so much to me.” He whispered. “Mean so much to us. I should have thought before I grabbed you like that.”

You leaned your head forward, until the edge of your brow gently pressed against the cold plastic. It took two tries, but you finally pulled your mouth back from your skin, licked your lips, and whispered. “I wasn’t- suppose to find out yet, was I?”

You hoped he wouldn’t try and turn the question on its head, knowing he knew what you were talking about. His hearing was better than yours. Still, he made some low, wounded sound at the way your voice rasped broken and raw over the words.

“It certainly wasn’t how I envisioned it.” He offered with self deprecating humor, and you blinked, thinking the tone didn’t suit him at all. 

“Who- who else?” God, it hurt to talk. Your knee hit the tiled floor as you readjusted, and Mikey’s shell shifted on the other side of the thin barrier between the two of you.

“Um….” He trailed off, but you heard the silent all of us, thinking back to the way they’d held you together the night your arm, and heart, had broken.

“Oh- God.” You choked on the word, coughed and brought your arm back to your mouth to muffle the sound. 

Mikey moved, and for one terrified moment you thought he was going to try breaking the lock, but his steps moved away. Water running in the sink, and then he returned, shoved a glass under the little opening below the door.

You didn’t thank him as he returned to his spot, reaching down slowly and grabbing the chilled glass. 

He waited until he heard you take a few sips, before asking. “How’s your arm? You shoved it into Leo’s face pretty hard.”

“It hurts.” You breathed into the glass, aware you’d been holding the cast tight against your chest.

“I’m gonna go get Donnie.” Mikey’s hand appeared under the door, splayed against the tile as he pushed himself upright.

“Don’t-” You cut off, until his hand turned, brushed against your shoe. “-go.” You swallowed. “Please.”

“I won’t, babes,” he promised, “Just gonna go get Dee, ok?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see, and sat down heavily as you listened to him moving for the bathroom door.

It was… a lot, to take in. Too much to do so right now, with your arm burning and your mind swirling around like a shaken fishbowl. You wanted to bury it, until the realization felt a little more distant. A little more manageable. You couldn’t-

You brutally squashed that train of thought, sitting down heavily with only one arm to balance yourself with. You stretched one foot out first, then the other, sticking your sneakers out from under the partition and leaning forward to place your fevered, sticky cheek against the door again.

You must have spaced out, because the sound of Donnie’s knuckles rapping gently against the plastic had you startling, pulling your feet back against your chest and scooting to the corner.

“Dove?” He called, and you saw the shadow of his hand on the handle. “I’m going to open the door, ok?”

You hummed in acknowledgement, staring at your shoes as he opened the lock from the outside. The door squeaked when he cracked it open, and you looked up finally, meeting his hesitant smile from where he craned around the door.

“There you are. Are you ready to come out, now?”

You weren’t, but you still moved, letting him grip under your bicep and help you find your feet when you wobbled.

“Good, that’s good. Let’s sit on the edge of the tub.” He led you, and you felt more than saw Mikey hovering just out of your space, watching you with concerned eyes. 

When you were finally sitting on the tiled edge of the basin they called a bath, Donnie felt you for a moment, and Mikey returned to sit next to you, just shy of touching.

“Heya, babes. You’re ok.” He gave you a tilted smile, a little watery, and you scrubbed at your cheek at the realization you probably looked like you had indeed been blubbering in a bathroom stall.

“Alrighty, then.” Donnie was back, and you tipped your head towards him without thinking. His hand came up to grip your chin, tightening when you tried to flinch away. “It’s just me, dove, relax just a little bit.”

The cloth he wiped over your face was warm and sudsy, and you closed your eyes on instinct, leaning into his touch as he wiped away the gunk and the tear stains. The soft, repetitive motions had you sighing unconsciously, shoulders slumping in relief when the cloth ran over clean skin. 

Donnie traded the cloth for his thumbs, stooping to peer into your face as his wide digits scrubbed across your cheekbones. “There you go, that’s better, right?”

You nodded, feeling his knuckles hook around the edge of your jaw, before his snout swung to the side and he focused on your cast. “Can I take a look at that, now?”

You bit your lip, nodded again, free hand casting out to find Mikey’s arm and latch onto it when Donnie lowered his goggles and peered at your arm, hands softly probing at the ends of your cast.

Mikey captured your hand, let you squeeze his palm as Donnie worked. After a moment, his thumb came out to slide slowly over the back of your hand, and you looked up, caught on the baby blues that stared back.

The door to the bathroom creaked open, and Raph stuck his head in. “How’s it goin’ in here?”

“Fine, despite your lack of patience.” Donnie quipped without taking his eyes off his task, and the muscle in your cheek contracted at the heavy eye roll Raph gave his brother before his green eyes focused on you. 

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“…fine.” The word was scratchy, and you cleared your throat before trying again. “How’s… Leo?”

Raph gave you a smirk, “ah, he’ll live, he’s just getting some ice for it. Good shot, though.” 

Donnie made some little noise at your side, pulling your attention back to him. “I don’t think there’s any new damage.” He gave you a soft smile. “Just don’t go shoving your arm into anyone else’s face, kay?”

You sighed, tried to pull your hand from Mikey’s grip, but he wouldn’t allow you to, slotting your fingers between his to maintain the grip. “How bout we go get those noodles before they get cold, babes? I got the spicy ones you like.”

Your stomach rebelled at just the mention of food, but there were sharp eyes on your face, taking notice of every twitch. “I think… maybe just the movie, Angelo.”

Mikey, bless him, looked happy you were just agreeing, tugged you to your feet and almost into Donatello before the taller turtle ducked seamlessly out of your space. 

“Wait, wait-” your head heaved at the quick movements, and Mikey lurched to a stop, that concerned look back. “Just, slow, Mikey. Slow.”

You… weren’t just talking about heading to the living room area, and while it might have gone right over Mikey’s head, you saw the traded looks between the other two turtles, and it made you swallow heavily. No time for that now. The thought got sloshed back to the back of your head when Mikey’s free had touched your shoulder and led you backwards into the main room. 

[kinascum]

INVISIBLE SMOKE PT2 - CHRIS STURNIOLO

warnings: crying, sad chris, sad reader, angst with comfort!!

summary: Chris was on the phone with his girlfriend. He had made a mistake and was determined to fix it. The boy said sorry many times, and begged Y/N to forgive him.

..

Tears streamed down his face, leaving a trail of salt on his rosy cheeks. He was holding his phone, listening to his girlfriend who was on the other end. Her face was etched with hurt and disappointment, and her eyes were glistening with tears. He was begging her, apologizing profusely for his mistake. "Please, I'm so sorry, ma," he choked out, his voice trembling with emotion. He knew he had made a grave error, and the thought of losing his girlfriend was too much to bear. He rubbed his hand over his puffy lips, trying to keep his composure. Despite his regrets, he knew it was up to her to decide whether or not to give him another chance.

As he pleaded with her to forgive him, his voice trembling with emotion, she stopped him mid-sentence. The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing, both of them acutely aware of the gravity of the situation. She stood before him, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her eyes fixed on his. He knew he had hurt her deeply, and he was desperate for her to forgive him.

"I don't know what to say, Chris," she finally spoke, her voice devoid of any warmth or affection.

She took a deep breath and continued, "I want to believe you, but I'm not sure if I can trust you again. You hurt me so much, and I don't know if I can go through that again."

Her words hung heavily in the air as she weighed his apology. Her expression was inscrutable, giving nothing away. He could see the turmoil in her eyes, the struggle to decide whether to forgive him or to walk away.

The tension in the room was palpable as they both waited for her to speak again.

With trembling hands, she tightened her grip on the phone, feeling the weight of the conversation bearing down on her. The sound of his voice pleading with her tore at her soul, but the pain in her heart was too much for his words to ease. She knew he was sorry, but the question that lingered in her mind was whether he was truly remorseful enough to change his ways.

"Please let me make it up to you," he begged once more, desperation creeping into his voice. But she remained silent, her mind racing with thoughts of the past and doubts about the future. Memories of the hurt he had caused her flooded her mind, making it hard to trust his words.

As she considered his plea, her heartbeat quickened, and she felt the weight of her decision bearing down on her. She longed to believe him, to give him another chance, but the fear of being hurt again held her back. So she remained silent, unsure of what to say or do, and let the weight of the silence hang heavily between them.

As she sat there, her mind was in turmoil, trying to sort through the complex emotions that swirled within her. She loved him deeply, that much was certain, but his past mistakes had left her feeling hurt and betrayed. Could she ever truly forgive him, and learn to trust him again? Could they build a future together, free from the pain of the past? These were the questions that haunted her day and night, as she wrestled with her own heart.

Despite her inner turmoil, she remained outwardly composed, struggling to maintain a stoic facade even as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Inside, she was a storm of conflicting desires, torn between her love for him and her fear of getting hurt again. She longed to give in to him, to surrender to the feelings that still burned within her, but the wounds he had inflicted were still raw, and the thought of being hurt all over again was almost too much to bear.

Then, suddenly, his voice cracked on the other end of the line, and she heard the telltale sound of tears. That was all it took to shatter her resolve, as her own emotions surged to the surface and threatened to overwhelm her. She knew that she was on the brink of a momentous decision, one that could change the course of her life forever. But for now, she could do nothing but listen to his tears, and let her own tears fall in response.

The moment was intense as he spoke those words. His voice was filled with the pain that he had been carrying for so long. As she listened, she felt a deep sense of empathy and compassion for him. It was as if his pain had become her own.

At that moment, she realized the depth of her own feelings. She had been fighting to keep them locked away, afraid of what might happen if she let them out. But now, as the reality of her emotions sank in, she knew that she could no longer keep them hidden.

The dam burst, and she released all the feelings she had been bottling up for so long. It was a flood of emotions that she couldn't control. Her throat ached as she cried, her body shaking with each sob.

She tried to speak, to tell him how she felt, but her voice was raspy and weak. All she could manage was a croak. Her face was wet with tears, and her voice was an unsteady quiver as the pain became too great to hide.

As he looks at her with a worried expression, he asks, "You what?" His voice is filled with caution and concern. She takes a deep breath and wipes away tears before speaking. Her voice is quivering as she asks, "You know that I still love you, right?" He can feel his heart racing as he takes in her confession. He replies, his voice trembling with emotion, "Of course I do. But do you love me enough to give this a second chance?" He waits for her response, hoping that the answer will be in his favor.

She felt a lump rising in her throat as she took another deep breath and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out. It had been a long and difficult road to get to this point, but she was finally here. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mix of emotions: fear, hope, and love.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for her reply. He had been waiting for this moment for what felt like an eternity. When she finally spoke, it was just one word, but it held so much weight.

"Yes."

As he heard her answer, his heart plummeted and he let out a sharp breath of relief. It was all he could do to keep from breaking down in tears. He had been so afraid that she would say no, that he would lose her forever. But now, he had a chance to make things right.

He took a deep breath and gathered his courage. "Will you take me back?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Her response was another simple word, but it was all he needed to hear.

"Yes."

The words that came out of her mouth were like a melody to his ears, soothing and calming. It was the most reassuring thing he had heard in a long time. Her answer was like a balm to his soul, and he felt a strong sense of relief wash over him as he processed her response.

A warm and fuzzy feeling started to rise inside of him, like the gentle waves of the sea washing over the shore. It spread like wildfire throughout his body, illuminating every cell with joy and happiness. It was a feeling unmatched by anything else in the world.

The emotions inside of him became too much to contain, and he couldn't help but smile. His heart was filled with love and gratitude for the person in front of him. The corners of his lips stretched into a wide grin, and a single teardrop rolled down his cheek as he whispered, "I love you."

Their love had been built on the foundation of simple words exchanged between them. It was those words that had given them a second chance at love. As they spoke, it was as if time had stood still, and they were transported back to a simpler time when love was all that mattered. But as their conversation continued, the emotions they had been suppressing began to surface. They both started sobbing uncontrollably, overcome with a mixture of joy, relief, and sadness.

The intensity of their emotions was overwhelming, and they struggled to come to terms with what they were feeling. But despite the pain and grief that lingered within them, they were determined to make things work this time around. They knew that they had been given another chance at happiness, and they were not going to let it slip away.

As they wiped away their tears, they looked at each other with new eyes. The sight of one another was no longer filled with hurt and guilt, but with a tender familiarity that warmed their hearts. They knew that they had a long road ahead of them, but they were willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. For them, the exchange of simple words had been the foundation of their love, and it was those same words that would see them through the challenges that lay ahead.

-------------------------------!!

[morathicain]

Rewatching the final of The On1y One after the second season announcement and because sometimes pain and heartbreak and good acting and longing symbolism are a must.

Still baffled though, how some people see Tian's breakdown on the stairs as a teenage temper tantrum. Like how???

Of course, emotions probably get heightened by those teenage hormones but it's no wonder Jiang Tian is breaking down? Like, he's so torn between care and sadness and anger. And not because Sheng Wang is switching to another classroom, but because Sheng Wang did it on purpose. Because Sheng Wang, after being so close to kiss him during that one night and giving a glimpse of hope that the love might be reciprocated, CHOSE to go away from him. Sheng Wang, who promised to stay by his side, who'd become his home, Tian's personal safe space, the one who promised to be honest with him, messed up an exam to the point that he now has to stay away (to make himself fall out of love). This isn't about a little distance while learning (although Jiang Tian will miss him for sure) but after so many years of getting abandoned and not daring to believe he has a place, the one he finally gives a chance again, basically betrays him.

Of course, it's all about unspoken words and misunderstood feelings. Sheng Wang calling Jiang Tian "Big brother" in the end as a damn reminder to himself to keep his proper distance and be a good younger brother and for Jiang Tian it means a forced distance that pushes him away and also Sheng Wang burying whatever spark of hope there had been. He's drawing a clear line between them and keeping Jiang Tian on the other side. And all of that after months of bonding and getting closer and Sheng Wang pushing himself into Jiang Tian's life and comfort zone.

And he knows or at least guesses and that guess becomes clearer with everytime Sheng Wang avoids his gaze and acts so fucking guilty, literally curling into himself. Let's not forget Jiang Tian is able to read him so well because he cares and watches. And even when he's about to cry angry tears because Sheng Wang won't even admit he fluked it on purpose and doesn't give a reason (which proves the point that it's because of Jiang Tian and that hurts double) but curls into himself and is lying so obviously, Jiang Tian cares so fucking much, he brings mint and lemon water. But while he's still there, Sheng Wang won't even touch that. Not even talking of the bracelet ripping in the most beautiful of symbolic choices.

And then he feels as if he's getting replaced in Sheng Wang's new classroom and yes, Sheng Wang being away now, out of touch and reach, especially emotionally (and the distance is a physical and emotional one, a symbolic even) does hurt him and make him devastated. Because that way, Sheng Wang can keep the mask on way too well.

So yes. Yes, he might be a teenager and his emotions might be heightened but this is not an unreasonable tantrum (and even those often have reasons but might be harder to get from the outside). I'm in my 30s and if the person I loved and finally let into my life and who was my home and promised to stay, lied to me and made sure they had to stay away from me on purpose, avoiding me and not even admitting to any of it? I'd be angry and devastated, too.

WE know Sheng Wang's reasons for trying to keep his feelings in check and forcefully turn his love back into what's right again. He's had his whole sexual awakening and self realisation all at once, together with the shame and guilt for feeling that way. We know but Jiang Tian doesn't and for him, this all comes out of nowhere and leaves him alone where they'd walked together before.

But Jiang Tian can't keep his care hidden and still cares so much. Ngl loved when he claimed Sheng Wang's seat, angry at Wang for leaving but possessive enough to have this spot for himself now. As if to keep it for Sheng Wang or as if to have whatever is left of the boy he loves and this is something, no one can take away.

So yeah, yeah, I am in my feels and they're deep and crushing and painful and I love it. Can't wait for the next season!!

[erikahenningsen]

26 Janis/Regina

26. “Here, let me help you.”

Janis still has mixed feelings about Regina George.

Sure, she's still the demon who ruined her life. Inadvertently got her kicked out of school. Made her lose all her friends. Never apologized.

But after the bus... Regina is different. Well, Janis doesn't know if Regina has changed. Maybe she's still a mega-bitch. But the way people react to her is certainly different.

It's become clear that Regina doesn't have the same power she used to. People still give her a wide berth in the halls, but it's not out of fear. People stare, but not because they're analyzing Regina's outfit and trying to figure out how to replicate it. The looks are pitying, not envious.

Janis isn't sure where Regina spends her lunch period. She hasn't seen the girl in the cafeteria since that fateful final lunch that solidified Regina's fall from power. But when Janis skips lunch to speed-write an assignment she forgot about for her seventh period class, she does a double take while passing through the shelves in the library.

It's Regina—without the neck collar, which is new. She's just standing there, seemingly trying to reach something on the shelf above her, but she keeps wincing as soon as her arm gets above shoulder height. Janis watches for a moment, strangely fascinated. When she's had enough watching Regina torture herself—and she's surprised at how quickly she reaches this limit—she clears her throat awkwardly and steps forward.

"Here, let me help you," Janis says.

Regina startles and turns. When she realizes it's Janis, she takes a step back, seemingly reflexively, like Janis might start swinging.

"Hey, relax," Janis says, holding up a hand. She points to the shelf. "Which one?"

Regina stares at her for a long moment before quietly saying, "The Color Purple."

Before she can stop herself, Janis lets out a laugh. "For real?"

Regina narrows her eyes. "Why is that funny?"

"Do you not know—" Janis cuts herself off. "You know what? I won't spoil it for you."

Standing on her tiptoes, Janis grasps the book by her fingertips and then hands it to Regina. Enjoy your lesbian awakening, she wants to say, but doesn't.

Regina looks at the book in her hands, frowning intently.

"Is... something wrong?" Janis asks hesitantly. "Do you need a different book?"

Regina looks up, eyeing Janis with the same scrutiny. "You're being nice to me."

"I'm a delightful person," Janis replies, rocking back on her heels.

Regina seems skeptical about this.

"Well, I'm sorry," Regina says, sounding a little like someone is forcefully pulling the words out of her—but hey, it's more than Janis has gotten in five years. "About everything. You know, the stuffed animal and the—"

Janis realizes with a mild amount of panic that Regina's eyes are a little glassy, like she might start crying, and Janis is torn between sprinting away before they start having A Moment in the middle of the fucking library and asking what drugs Regina is on and if she's willing to share.

"Yeah, um, thanks for that," Janis cuts in, because if Regina starts breaking down she doesn't know what she'll do. She has this tangled ball of feelings inside of her, fighting competing urges to wrap Regina in a hug and to dig the knife in deeper, to make Regina suffer the way Janis has.

"Let's not do this here," Janis says, noting the way Regina's face falls, just a little, and the way it kind of makes Janis's chest hurt. "But, for what it's worth, I'm sorry, too."

Regina just nods, again looking at the book in her hands, looking sad and a little embarrassed and absolutely fucking exhausted.

"You know what?" Janis taps the cover of the book. "Text me after you've read this book. We'll talk."

"Okay," Regina says, her voice quiet and hopeful in a way that makes Janis want to reach over and squeeze her hand. She shoves it into her pocket instead.

"Alright, well..." Janis says, gesturing vaguely towards the main part of the library. "See ya."

Regina doesn't answer, just gazes at Janis with a look on her face like she's seeing Janis for the first time ever.

For some reason, Janis feels the same way.

[peachyloveswriting]

How about vash n reader are in a relationship and vashs insecurity and fear gets the best of him so he tries to break it off to protect reader but reader aint fucking having it and is all like “if you truly mean it then look at me in the eyes and tell me you dont love me” and OBVIOUSLY he cant cause hes so in love and shit then they makeout makeup

I absolutely love the possibility of angst here, the hurt/comfort is calling my name right now. Thanks for the req anon. I know the Gif is from Trigun Stampede but this one will take place in the original, I just think it better fits the story.

YOU'RE A BAD LIAR --- Vash the Stampede

SUMMARY: A very short story about Vash finally admitting his insecurities. But how could he be so foolish, it's written all over him and you're not a fool.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

You stare at Vash, leaned up against the side of your house while he gazes off into the distance. He's wearing his shades again just to hide the look in his eyes, just so he doesn't have to look at you. He's so bad at hiding his emotions, even with the shades covering his eyes you can read the pain all over his face. His voice really gives it away.

"Why haven't you left yet?" Vash's voice rings out into the night, stirring the distilled silence floating around you. Even further he looks away from you.

"Because I love you." A simple answer for a simple question, but vash's instability isn't moved. He digs his hands deeper into his pockets and lowers his gaze to the wooden boards below his feet. "You shouldn't."

You frown, stepping forward to rest a hand on his arm. He shrugs you off. "Vash, don't be like this." From the moment you met him, he warned you time and time again about the dangers of crossing his path. You know well and good just what dangers he poses to you and yet you fight back against his word. "You know I won't leave you, it doesn't matter if it kills me-"

"it matters to me!" You jolt at his sudden shout. Surely it must have woke the neighbors. "I can't have you dead because of me. I won't let it happen. I'm done, I'm breaking this off now." He points to the ground and lightly stomps his foot.

Behind the shades, tears build in his eyes and threaten to spill. He can't stop his bottom lips from trembling with the urge to cry. He looked at you, damnit. He knows if he looked he would breakdown on the spot. How could he ever think of leaving you? He doesn't want too, but he's torn between keeping you close and cutting ties. Both burn the edges of his heart, daring to light his whole body ablaze.

"If you truly mean it, I want you to look at me in my eyes and tell me that you don't love me." You grasp his arm with a vice grip. His eyes meet you and the glint off his shades moves away. Eyes now fully in view, you can see right through his facade. He trembles in your touch.

"I can't." He sobs. "I can't say it. I won't." Every hard emotion he tried to portray crumbles in an instant. Longing for your comfort he pulls you close and wraps you tightly in his arms. His head is tucked away in the nape of your neck where you can feel his tears wet your skin and his breath tickle you. Smoothing your hands over his back you rub his through his coat while you shush his quiet crying.

He's given you his soul, the very gentle and kind soul that might break if you hold it the wrong way. Such a soft man melting right into your arms while he shudders and shakes. You're his world, he can't take the chance of getting you involved with him yet you're already in so deep. People will come after you soon enough, and the law will come for you too. Not a single person leaves his hold unharmed and it's sad.

Vash lifts his head. "Come with me. You can't stay here by yourself anymore." Despite the dangers he knows will find you out there with him, Vash knows he'll at least be there to keep you safe. As long as you're by his side nothing bad will happen. "I can't let you be here alone. If someone comes and I'm not here-"

You cup his face in your hands. "I'll be right by your side as long as you'll allow it." Your words are so kind and welcoming, it makes Vash's heart swell. Even knowing what fate might await you with him you always stick by his side, never daring to stray far from his grasp and keeping his insecurities away.

"I love you. I'm so sorry I even thought of breaking up with you." He presses a kiss to your forehead. "It'll never happen again, I swear."

With a kind smile you rub his cheek with your thumb. "It's ok. Just shut up and kiss me. That'll be your apology."

He nods and without question and presses his lips to yours. They meld perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle while you move in tandem. He is gentle and firm, not wanting to pull away in fear of it never happening again. Instead he nibbles at your bottom lip, his sharp canines poking a hole in your skin. Gasping for but a bright moment, you're stopped by his tongue intruding your mouth. You don't resist and close your eyes to let the feeling wash over you. The feeling of comfort and safety in his grasp. The one he offers to you anytime he's nearby. This is home.

[merbear25]

Love your writing!!

Can I request Doflamingo for prompt 19 : "Rules are made to be broken." For a F!reader and NSFW is fine for me if you feel like it (I love NSFW but whatever you'll want will be fine!)

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Hello, hello! Thank you for your kind words, lovely! I had a lot of fun writing this for you, so I hope you enjoy it 💜💜

A taste of what you've been missing

CW: NSFW!!!! MDNI!!! fem!reader, slightly rough sex, public sex, vaginal penetration, cream pie

Forming alliances had never been your style; they eventually crumbled from your "partners" getting too arrogant and making a sad attempt at stabbing you in the back. With that being said, the Strawhats earned your trust and you theirs. You'd been tagging along with them for a few months and over that time developed mutual respect. There were, however, significant differences that they'd yet to discover.

Despite your loyalty, your moral compass was in need of some fine tuning: drawn in by promises that were seldom kept being the most common to spin the needle. Was it the mystery of what they had in mind that seemed to do the trick? You couldn't quite pinpoint the reason.

Seeing hell freeze over in Punk Hazard together, it was a given that you'd work with them to free Dressrosa from the iron grip of the tyrannical King. However, even with discussing the groups and the overall plan, the overlap in ideas made the whole thing convoluded: the spats between Law and Luffy only continued, leaving threads of ideas unwoven.

Even if a plan had been agreed upon, you'd been with them long enough to realize that relying on such was all too wishful. With that in mind, getting separated from them was inevitable. No matter―you were well aware of the end game, so there was no use in worrying. There was a clear vision to accomplish, and you were eager to make it a reality.

Going off on your own was its own challenge―a true test to your agility, your keen eye, and power that you yielded. However, such excitement for what was to come gave you tunnel vision, which subjected you to negligence. Hurtling towards the palace, being under a watchful eye flew under the radar.

Upon finding a sure way to sneak in, you were abruptly cut off by a large figure plummeting inches infront of you. The crazed mass of pink feathers swayed as a guttural laugh seeped from under it. You backed away to distance yourself between whatever had just crashed landed infront of you. The staggering motions ignited a spark of fear in you, as you came face-to-face with the King of this ill-fated country himself―Doflamingo.

Refusing to die like a coward, you were well-equiped with a warrior spirit. Chuckling at your brave face, he made his observations known, "You don't quite fit in with the Strawhats, do you?"

Taken aback by this, you immediately denied it and add a spiteful, "And what would you know?"

"It's written all over your face," he took a step closer, "it's screamed through your movements." With him gaining ground on you, you made a meek attempt at keeping him away.

Your true desires being apparent in you eyes, you realized you had to justify why you were still hanging around the Strawhats. But, nothing came out. It was as if your soul was being torn between following the safe path and taking the one less known.

He sensed your heart swaying towards the former, and being the opportunist that he was, he wasn't going to allow you to slip through his fingers. Leaning in, he informed you, "Rules are made to be broken. Follow me and I'll show you a world beyond your wildest dreams."

The slick, venomous words coiled around your heart before sinking their fangs in, when it dawned on you―perhaps this was the thing to quench your thirst.

The needle on your, now abandoned, compass spun uncontrollably as you took him up on his offer. "Show me what I'm missing," you say in a hushed voice.

A devilish grin crept on his expression, as he took you by the hand and pulled you close to him, "Of course, my dear." With his fingers gathering the fabric at the bottom of your dress, they clenched into a fist, sending butterflies which could be felt fluttering throughout your person.

Slightly fearing the man who was branded a devil, you couldn't ignore the fire building within you: a dangerous move such as giving into his lust, wouldn't be for the faint-hearted. And you were feeling especially daring today.

The sultry flutter of your lashes was the only lead he needed. Yanking you further into cool opening of the underpass, he shoved your front against the stone wall, leaving a chilled touch to your cleavage.

You felt him pressing himself against you, his breath hot on your ear, "Then let me give you a taste."

Feeling his long tongue trail up the side of your face sent shivers down your spine. Your fingers made a desperate attempt at clinging to the stone as you felt his hands glide under your delicates and promptly tug them down.

Your body tensed as soon as you felt him tease the tip of his cock against your pursed lips. Not even bothering to wait till you relaxed, he pushed in, greedily claiming as much of you as he could. Unable to contain the pained moans, they echoed around you.

Smirking down at you, he was generous enough to allow your body to adjust to his girth, but as his hunger for you increased so did his speed. Quickening his pace, each assult to your g-spot further sent you into a downward spiral of insanity.

Having you unravel on him was one of the greatest pleasures that day had to offer. The delectable sounds of your wet folds slapping aginst his pelvis were too perfect of an opportunity to pass up spanking your ass. Those mewls and yelps seeping out of your lovely mouth were hitting all the right spots.

As your walls clenched around his length in preperation of your approaching climax, his appetite had been satiated enough to give into tempation in unison. With one final buck and growl, you were roughly forced against the unforgiving cold, branding you with a scratch against your chin.

Trembling from the lingering trauma biting at your lower half, the dribble of his lust trickled between your thighs. The flush on your face was prominent while you shakily fastened your panties back around your hips. The reality of what you'd just done was setting in and the dread of not being able to take it back was casting itself over you.

When you turned to look at the man you'd signed your soul over to, doubt as to whether or not this was the thrill you'd been searching for was becoming more and more gnawing.

[sankta-starkova]

THE OUTSIDERS

001; start of something new

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

summary: the one where daisy returns to camp from college and is blinded by her love for him, even as the world ends

wordcount: 1.8k

The winter Solstice was creeping up on Daisy Valance. She knew she had to head to camp to see her friends again and it helped that her mums new boyfriend Nick had taken her on a trip so she didn't feel so guilty.

Last summer had been her fifth at camp and she loved it like it was home to her. Because it was.

She felt safest there. Although she loved her mother and she loved going to NYU, she still loved Camp Half Blood.

She was wrapped up at in a coat, her suitcase in her hand as she looked around at the place she called home.

Daisy waved at Chiron as he walked over, or galloped, she was never quite sure how to describe it.

"Miss Desdemona," he said, bowing his head.

She chuckled, "You are the only one that calls me that Chiron," she said, walking alongside him as he walked further into camp.

She remembered coming into camp years ago and seeing it all for the first time. The feeling never went away.

"Look who the minotaur dragged in," a voice said and she turned around when she heard the voice.

She recognised him in an instance. It was her best friend in the whole world, the only person who ever truly understood her.

"Luke Castellan, charming as always," she said, dropping her suitcase down as she walked over.

He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. The last few weeks had been hard without her.

She was his best friend and that was it. But he had always wanted more.

His dreams were getting worse and worse. He could see him standing there, taunting him, telling him that he had things that he needed to do.

He was torn between it all. He wanted to fulfill what he thought was his destiny but he wanted her as well - that's something he hadn't even managed to say to her yet.

"Good to see you again," he said, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"You too Luke," she said, "I'm sorry I missed your wins at capture the flag,"

"It's fine, a boy doesn't wins twice in a row often," he joked, looking down at her.

"Shut up," she said, stepping away from him and hitting him on the arm, "Now, help me with my bags?"

She looked over at where her bag was to see Chiron standing there, a smile on his face.

He had been working at this camp for years and had never seen a couple quite like them. Having spent years to admit their adoration for one another.

The issue was that he had heard of Lukes fate. That something bad would happen to him even if he didnt know what it was.

He hadn't told anyone but knew that something tragic would occur. He didnt want the couple to falter because of that.

He leaned down and picked her bag up, handing it over to the boy.

They started walking, side by side. It was like they were joined at the hip and couldn't seperate.

They didn't hear the whispers of their camp mates as they walked past. Luke and Daisy were icons in camp so to see them together was news to them all.

They walked into the apollo cabin and they cheered when she walked inside of the room.

She laughed, a blush spreading over her cheeks as she listened to the cheers of her coming in.

Daisy loved her cabin. She had never felt a home like the camp before and they all meant a lot to her.

A little blonde boy rushed up and she pulled him in for a hug.

"How was college Daisy?" He asked, looking up at her.

He was the closest thing she had to a little brother. She had been the one to bring him here and she looked after him fiercely.

"Good Will, its nice there," she said.

She couldn't tell any of them how lonely it felt sometimes, being the only demigod there. Always watching her back to make sure there weren't any monsters.

"I don't get to see you enough," Luke said, leaning against the empty bunk bed. He knew the top one was hers.

She shrugged, a sad smile on her face, "You see me often enough,"

"You don't come back enough, I agree," Will said, walking closer to Luke.

Luke smiled, leaning down and ruffling the kids hair, "Thanks for standing up for me kid,"

"Where's Lee and Michael?" She asked, changing the subject. 

"They're somewhere, dealing with the new kid who just joined," Luke explained.

"Very nice," Daisy said, looking at Will, "You should tell me all about what's happened since summer,"

He started talking and then Luke looked down at his watch. He really needed to talk to her.

"Actually, can i borrow her for a minute Will, I need to talk to her," he said.

He had a solemn tone to his voice and she knew that meant that something was wrong.

She worried about him all the time. She didn't want something bad to happen, for those nightmares to take affect him him.

Will nodded and then Luke turned to Daisy, "Can we go for a walk?"

He was serious. Too serious. Her smile faded, "Sure,"

There was silence between the two as they walked through the woods, muscle memory taking them to their favourite spot.

When she saw the lake, she remembered all of her best memories that occurred here. Her eighteenth birthday party.

The moment she realised she loved Luke.

It was here, at this very lake and now, as she sat down next to him on that very same log, she knew something was wrong.

There was a prolonged silence. It was awkward and neither knew what to say and that was new for them. They were always comfortable around one another so what changed?

"You okay?" She asked, looking over at him.

He shook his head, silent. There was this moment where he looked like he was going to say it but he didn't.

His Adams apple bobbed as he fought back the urge to tell her everything. He had to be careful with what he was going to say.

"You gotta tell me what's going on here," Daisy said after a while. She couldn't wait for him forever.

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see her reaction, "I had another one of those dreams,"

She scoffed, "Luke. I told you not to listen to those," she said, almost scolding him.

These dreams had been occurring for years, ever since he was 17 and went off on that quest his dad sent the two of them on.

She could remember him afterwards. She had been injured but his internal problems were worse than anything she sustained.

Daisy had told him that those dreams were dangerous, that he should tell Chiron but he had ignored her ever since; his pride was getting the better of him.

"They're making sense. They all make sense," he tried to explain.

He reached over, hand on her knee as he tried to convince her that these were right.

She shook her head, "They don't. He's trying to manipulate you,"

She was desperate at this point, trying to reason with him. Nothing good would happen if he kept on going the way he was.

Daisy couldn't lose the man she loved. She had lost so much in her life and he was the only one that stuck around. She loved him, even if he didnt feel the same.

"He is right, our parents don't care about us," he said.

She scoffed at his incredulous statement, "I could have told you that," she knew they didn't care but that wasn't reasoning for war.

He reached forward and took her hands in his. Only then did she realise that she hadn't been looking at him.

Luke rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and she looked up at him, eyes meeting his. She could see the vulnerability in his face - he really thought he was doing something important.

Her face blushed a little bit at the intimacy of the moment, her hands in his, his eyes locked on hers.

"Come on Des, this is it, this is our time to take charge of our future," he begged, desperate.

This was Lukes moment to achieve everything in his life that he had wanted. But the other thing he wanted was the girl in front of him.

He couldn't let her down.

"Don't listen to him," she begged, feeling the tears burning up behind her eyes at the thought of losing him.

He brushed his thumb over her hand again, trying to sooth her as he heard the break in her voice, "I should. He's right about everything,"

He wasn't looking at her. He couldn't bare to see the pain in her eyes.

"Luke," she begged.

He looked up at her now, seeing the tears welling up in her waterline. She never cried so to see her like that meant that this was important to her.

"Please, listen to me." He asked, desperate to get his point across, "He wants me to take something from the God's and I'm going to do it,"

Her heart pounded in her chest. This could completely ruin his life and the world. She couldn't let that happen.

"Promise me you won't," she begged.

He hated seeing her like this, "I have to," he muttered, voice breaking.

"Prmoise me you won't. You're my best friend Luke, promise me," Daisy was desperate. She had to stop him.

He watched the tear slip from her eye and roll down her cheek. Luke reached up, the pad of his thumb brushing across her cheekbone.

"Okay, for you," he said, hand staying on her cheek, "I promise,"

She pulled him in for a hug, holding his against her for a little while.

Daisy wanted to believe him, she wanted to hope that he would stick to his promise and maybe it was the rose coloured glasses that prevented her from seeing the truth.

"I won't let anything happen to you, ever," he promised, words muffled as he spoke them into her shoulder.

He pulled away, brushing a strand of hair away from her face so that it was behind her ear.

"Okay," she muttered, hoping that this was all real. That he wouldn't hurt her because why would he?

The nightmares that she had after his quest came back that night.

The image of the man in the middle of the woods came back again, cloacked in darkness, covered in fear.

She woke up in a sweat, eyes pooled with tears. She didn't know that this was the start of the end for her, that this man would ruin her life.

Daisy closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep in blissful ignorance about what was soon to come.

If you would like to be added to a tag list then you can comment here or send me an ask :)

[lady-z-writes]

Pieces - Butcher x reader [1/?]

In which reader was once a counselor, had a fall from grace, turned barkeep. Butcher can't help but find comfort in her...What do they say about misery and company?

He won't ever admit it, but he enjoys it; the silence, the space she makes for him.

He's sure it's partly the demeanor of a counselor - refuses to think too hard about it - like he's some kind of case to her.

But here he can just be.

She doesn't push for information. Doesn't ask the questions he's sure linger between them.

So they sit and they drink (him way more than her) and they fuck.

"You never ask," he offers to her one time, a particularly bad day after a particularly bad job. But a particularly good lay, which helps a little.

She smirks at him, shakes her head, rolls over in bed. "If you wanted to share, you would. Billy, I'm not here to be your shrink. We're just passing time, aren't we?"

And weren't they?

She'd said it to him once before: world's ending. We're all fucked anyway, aren't we?

---

He asks. Of course he does. The bastard. So fuckin curious about so many fuckin things. Can't leave well enough alone. Can't help but ruin a good thing. Ain't it like him.

To his surprise, she shares.

Shares about a bad time in life. About tough luck. About loss. A miscarriage. A marriage torn apart by treatments and wishing and wanting. By not enough. A husband so far gone, they'd been over before the anniversary effect took hold. A story about ache and empty. Kids clothes with new tags. A closet full of a hope chest. Separating into boxes and selling house. The lonely that's left. The whispers of promises of bare feet on wood floors. Weeds growing through concrete. Time passing. The hurt never left.

"So, I left the practice," she admitted. "When a counselor goes through a crisis, we aren't good at taking our own advice." His sad eyes meet hers and she looks away for a moment. "I had plenty to turn to, tons of resources - I knew them all. But I didn't want the help. I wanted to live in the ache. Let my grief consume me, I guess. So I threw it all away. And now I'm left in pieces, aren't I? " She shrugged. "One bedroom apartment, sold the ring, quit the cushy job, started tending bar in this shithole. It's like counseling. In it's own way."

He's had enough then, realizes he wasn't built to take on the trauma of another. How did she do it?

He pulls her in close, lets her skirt fan out around his lap like an art piece waiting to be seen.

Doors closed. Customers out. It's like this almost weekly; his little bar babe.

And he fucks her in that booth seat - slides right between her thighs, panties long gone, affection out the window. They grip onto each other like they're junkies in need of a fix, a distraction.

He'd pick up the pieces if he had to.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Looking for Home: Louis, Claudia & Daciana

They flip between siblings and parent so much even I was getting whiplash--no wonder Lou's confused. U_U

This was EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL, AMC! 😭 Louis carrying Grace's wedding portrait, and using it to FAKE his identity in Europe, after Grace couldn't even go to Europe for her own honeymoon cuz Paul died--STOP IT! 😭😭

And you can hear just a few quick seconds of the DPDL lietmotif that always plays for Grace, Paul, and sibling!Claudia, before it takes this SUPER dark and ominous tone--the song has been tainted, just like Lou's relationship with Grace and Claudia was tainted.

Go AWF, Claudia!

And then she finds ONE, and it was so heartbreakingly touching.

I was hoping she was Alessandra, but nope, she's an AMC!OC, Daciana. I'm assuming they were nodding to one rando revenant:

And she is obviously the same "Anna" the kids were singing about--(very Gaunter O'Dimm of them, I love it 💀)--living like frikkin Baba Yaga in a grimy castle in the woods.

Daciana killed her own fledgling after Claudia blinded him--after the revanant AND Daciana attacked them first, but whatever. Cuz she said he wouldn't be able to hunt/feed with no eyes--so it can't heal; her fledglings are too effed up. She's officially the last one in the area.

And I get it now--the bear(?) head Claudia breaks off of the dead vampire's sarcophagus was a heraldric figurehead. Claudia showed it to Daciana, as a way of asking her who that dead vamp was.

She didn't want to tell them her story or hear theirs--but she wanted them to know about Cezare Romulo (RIP). (It's crazy how in 5 minutes The Vampire Daciana was way more effective than a whole hour of Dierdre Mayfair. 🙄😒) She complimented Claudia's blood, saying it tasted like the cream of the crop. Daciana only told them her name, and that she was waiting for her children--fledglings or real ones, who knows (I bet both).

Only for Daciana to kill herself right in front of them (RIP). 😔🔥

This is so sad, but it was obvious she was gonna do that.

Stop teasing the Children of Darkness after this Alessandra fake-out. She's got the same darkness in her that Nicki (AND Louis) had. And we know where that means. 🔥💀🔥

These vampires are STARVING--hungry for family, love, home: LIFE.

So is Claudia! 😭😭😭 She wants a blood spouse! She wants a companion!

So I LOVE that Morgan clocked Louis on Grace's photo--that ain't yo wife! The gaydar was beeping the second your pretty arse walked in!

Like, it's been established that Louis is a terrible liar-you don't need an investigative journalist to figure that much out. Louis is TOO honest--he was dumb AF for telling Morgan his real name! I get why he did it in the book--again: desperate to make a connection.

But on the show it comes across way different--Louis almost immediately tells Morgan his name (he doesn't do that for Emilia, even though SHE called him pretty! Istg I was picking up some flirtatiousness with Lou & Morgan; put those pheromones AWAY 😂). But you come across MIGHTY SUS if your Black arse is going around switching identities on all these twitchy Europeans, Louis!

Like baaaaaasicallllllyyyyyyy!!! 🤦 You see them shooting up corpses just to make sure--you think they won't shoot YOU!?!

Anyways, it's so cool that they made Morgan a photographer--so is THIS why Louis starts taking photos!? 🤩📸

Cuz I've been wondering how Louis makes money in Paris so they don't have to pickpocket anymore?

I love that they included this.

No matter where they go, they have to pose as Black servants and maids and VALETS and SLAVES, white folk are the same regardless of the country.

Which was an interesting parallel with Daciana, and how much they were hyping up America.

She was clearly nuts, but smart & sane enough to realize that 2 (two!) Black vampires had fled their oh-so-great "land of the free" to come to HER busted AF blown up war-torn country, so why should she expect to have any happiness over there?

I don't know a lick of Romanian, but I wonder if the "another one" she was referring to was the soldier, or the country. As Daciana realized that no matter who she made her new fledgling, and no matter which country she ran to, she'd be alone & unhappy without the people she loved--her HOME.

Home is where the HEART is! Claudia's been homeless this whole time! Daciana's got that huge castle, but lives all alone--she can't make proper fledglings. Meanwhile Louis still thinks NOLA is home, even after they killed everyone who knew them--"including" Lestat!

*sigh* I hate this effing show, it's so dang good. 😭

[peterparkouryo]

consuming devotion | ੈ♡˳

prompt: You can't help but love Peter, even if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings

warnings: heavy angst, heartbreak, sweet sweet unrequited love and one sided pining (obv)

word count: 1.5k

"I'm left wondering why the stars align, but your heart doesn't seem to find a place for mine."

a/n: it’s sorta unfinished but not rlly? also who’s excited for rebound four?? ;) (edited: it’s unfinished but there’s like a sort of part 2 that’s connected and i’m working on it)

ੈ♡˳

There's something so beautiful, yet so so painful about being in love. On one hand, you have these intense emotions that are so heartwarming, joyful, happiness and you're content with being around the person you love. On the other hand, your mind is a battleground of emotions. You're plagued by self-doubt, wondering if you're good enough, if you're worthy of their love. You question whether they truly care for you, or if you're just imaging things. You're torn between revealing your feelings, or risking heartbreak.

That's the thing, you have felt every emotion of being in love that there is. The truth is, it sucks.

The distance between you and Peter feels like an insurmountable chasm. Time seems to drag on, and you always, always ache for his presence.

You know there's a mutual understanding that he only sees you as a friend, he has said it on multiple occasions, and thankfully you weren't stupid enough to actually admit to being hopelessly in love with the boy.

You're not entirely sure if he is aware of your affection for him, and you surely doubt that he is, considering its, well, Peter.

What you do know, that you are positively sure of, is that you've probably loved Peter for the better half of your life. There were countless times that proved it too, such as the movie nights, the boy offering to help you with your dreadful homework, walking you home after school, and pretty much anything else that made a vulnerable warmth settle in your heart.

After that realization, you became hyper-aware of every little detail about Peter - his likes, his dislikes hobbies and interests. You hung onto every word he ever said, dissecting his actions for hidden meanings. You started craving his attention and validation, yet you feared the vulnerability the came to revealing your true feelings.

You always had a mix of emotions all at once, sadness, frustration, and sometimes even jealousy. You alway questioned yourself, wondering what could possibly be wrong with you, why you weren't enough for him. It's a battle between your heart and mind, trying to rationalize your while your heart keeps yearning for the unattainable.

Peter's heart was truly pure gold, always thinking of others before himself, helping out whenever he could, he was perfect. And no matter what he did, you still loved him.

Even if he continuously rejected your feelings. 

You both knew he wasn't exactly doing it on purpose, he's told you countless times that he only strictly saw you as a friend and nothing more, but like the stubborn person you were, you ignored those words and lived in this pathetic delusion that you'd actually have a chance with him.

Finding yourself caught in a constant cycle of hope and despair, wavering between moments of elation whenever he showed you kindness or affection, and moments of heart-wrenching despair when he seemed distant or unresponsive, which wasn't an uncommon thing. You always, despite already knowing where the boy stood, tried to decipher he feelings, to find hidden signs that he might just feel the same way, but the uncertainty gnaws at your sanity.

"Party, my place, tonight." A voice interrupts your quiet studying, the girl plopping her lunch tray down on the rectangular table quite harshly, the action gaining your morbid attention.

"I don't know, last time I went to one of your parties, I had to clean up after you." You point out, paying close attention to the way Liz's smiles slowly turns into a frown.

"Well, this party is different, and it's not like I made you do that." She argues, shaking her head with an eye roll.

Liz has been your best friend since you both could ride a bike. She's been your better half for as long as you can remember, knowing everything about you and vice versa. The transition from middle schoolers into high school was tough to say the least, puberty doing its job for her, and you....not so much. So it was not a shocking factor that the girl quickly became popular.

Yet, despite her social status, she always stuck to you like glue, and you couldn't be more thankful for that.

You give her a unsure glance, before turning back to your textbook.

"Peter'll be there."

You swear you thought you were subtle when your head practically snaps up at your friend's sentence, but given the way she snorts at your action, you highly doubt it and you clear your throat before you hurriedly look down at your textbook again.

"Okay." You shrug, picking up your pencil to vigorously erase a problem that was probably right or wrong, but you didn't care, your only goal was trying to pretend to seem nonchalant.

Truth be told, you do try to move on from Peter, but the love you feel is stubborn and persistent. It's a constant ache gnawing at your soul, a wound refusing to heal. 

Liz tilts her head at your nonchalant response, not buying into your tone.

"Okay?" She repeats.

"Okay." You confirm, placing the pencil on the table, out of your anxious grasp.

Liz was well in the know of your one-sided affection for Peter. Always encouraging you to talk to him, entertaining the very thought of you two ever being a couple. Oh, how respectful she was toward you when she knew at one point during your high school years Peter harboured feelings for her. You don't know exactly what made the boy stop liking her, but you were glad in the end.

"Well, alright." The girl says carefully, picking at her food.

"You don't have to come, but it'd be great if you did." She states with a sweet smile, and you don't find it in yourself to retort it and only nod.

Liz mumbles a quiet bye, standing up with her lunch tray in hand, most likely going to hang out with her other more sociable friends, letting you be left alone with your thoughts.

Unfortunately, those thoughts last for a good five seconds.

"Just the girl I was looking for." You recognize the voice almost immediately, straightening your position to look more presentable.

Peter was effortlessly gorgeous, it was unfair, truly. It was almost like he was purposely taunting you with the knowledge of knowing you can't have him because he doesn't want you to.

He sets his belongings in the empty seat next to him, unzipping his backpack, grabbing a small piece of paper with a pencil, zipping the bag back up before sliding over the gathered materials in your reach.

You look in-between him and the objects in confusion.

"I need you to write me a letter." Peter says, quickly noticing your bewilderment.

"For?"

"My birthday."

"Your birthday's not till August?"

"Well, not my birthday, MJ's." Peter corrects with a small chuckle.

You nod slowly, sliding the objects closer to you, avoiding Peter's intent gaze.

"Isn't her birthday in like, June?" You quiz, writing your 'to' and 'from' as Peter shrugs from across you.

"Yeah, but I'm planning a surprise party that'll at least take a month considering its Michelle, and I know how much you love writing letters." The boy explains and your eyes go wide as you look at him, raising an offended eyebrow.

Of course, it was certainly no secret that many of your love confessions were most of the time in the form of letters, those of which he rejected, continuously, and it was a heartbreaking experience every time. But having the boy use the very thing you couldn't help but show your expression with, against you, hurt worse than any rejection (you're lying, obviously).

"You're so funny, I almost laughed." You deadpan, slamming the pencil down on the table, startling Peter slightly as you push the pencil and paper back to him.

You quickly gather your things, turning to leave the lunch room, though it was nowhere near over, ignoring the calls of your name from Peter.

-

One-sided love is a tortuous experience. It's such a devastating thing knowing that your love is nowhere near as close to be reciprocated. Always filled with such despair. A constant battle between your heart and reality, between your dreams and the harsh truth.

After your "storm out", Peter was quick to text you with a million apologies, which to all of those you hesitantly ignored, and it was a no good feeling, probably the hardest thing you ever had to do.

It wasn't like he had never joked about your feelings towards him. You think its better that way, but sometimes he could go a little too far and you never understood why you allowed him to continue with the humour you never found yourself to laugh at. It was almost like a coping mechanism, coming to terms with the whole ordeal in a way that wouldn't be so heartbreaking.

Maybe the reason Peter only did joke about it was to help you get over him because he can only ever see you as a friend, and he wanted you to see it as well.