#I'm too hyped to call it a card review

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K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Finale!!

Hello all! Sorry for not posting Yesterday, I... forgot. That's really all there is to it, I forgot and lost track of time before I had to go to work, and was too tired to post when I got back. So, to make up for it, I'm posting the ENTIRE Finale review, Parts 1 and 2, today! I hope you all enjoy.

Okay, cards on the table: This finale was crap. I'm pretty sure I tackle most of the issues inherent to it in the main review that I'll be posting below, but at it's core? This 2-Parter is just a crappy attempt to try and recreate the success of Heroes' Day, and it does it BADLY. The Miraculized is an honestly interesting concept, I think, in that it shows that Gabe and Tomoe have essentially jailbroken the power of the Kwami into something capable of mass production... which is presented as a bad thing. But on its own, it is genuinely impressive; if it weren't for the lazy and honestly nonsensical brainwashing plot with the "Perfect Alliance" app, it could've been interesting to see them gather and recruit genuinely willing agents to fight for them, acting on their behalf without dealing with the idiosyncrasies of Akumas in favor of totally loyal professionals.

But, what really kills the first part of this 2-Parter is that they keep hyping up these nightmares as being this super-traumatic thing... but aside from Adrien's, which doesn't make much sense, and Alya's, which her reaction is just stupidly exaggerated in regards to, they all just come off as ridiculous and stupid rather then traumatizing. I just can't take them seriously. The fact that they go out of their way to detail the specifics of their nightmares hurts it more because it exposes just HOW ridiculous they are, rather then keeping it vague but still giving the audience an idea of WHY they are so traumatized by it.

Not to mention that, despite Felix having SPELLED OUT that "Gabriel is Hawkmoth/Shadow Moth/Monarch" it seemed to have never actually clicked to Marinette until now that "oh crap, Gabriel is Hawkmoth!!" Which makes the prior play Felix put on all the more stupid since it ultimately did nothing to give Marinette more information if that's true, and instead focused entirely on making Marinette believe Felix's excuses for his bad deeds. So... what? I just don't get this continuity at all.

But what I think the biggest case of wasted potential in this finale, for all that it's a lazy Heroes' Day clone, is how it squanders the idea of their being more heroes, non-Miraculous connected ones, out in the world to help her... and instantly ignores how the Miraculized are able to TRACK the Ladybug and Black Cat's powers. When Marinette unified them, they should've INSTANTLY started swarming her all over again, like they did the first time she transformed. THAT would've made for an actual good reason for all the heroes around the world to appear; because they are tracking the movements of the army and are stopping them from mobbing Marinette while she's duking it out with Hawkmoth.

And just... Hawkmoth. Gabriel. How can a show just drop the ball so completely on such an awful character? I mean, I get how, they have been priming this for several seasons by having everyone around Gabe insist "he used to be better," but every thing they dredge up as evidence of this ultimately amounts to either scenes without context or detail, or someone claiming he used to be different but has now changed, without any word or detail on HOW he has changed. It expects the audience to just... take their word for it. To see Marinette showing him compassion, despite the fact that she should know damn well by now that Gabe has always put what HE wants for Adrien over what actually makes Adrien happy, every single time. And the way it insists upon itself by calling Gabe's actions "Madness." No, being deluded is not the same thing as being insane; Gabe knew full and well what he was doing, what the consequences would be, and ultimately decided "I don't CARE."

His delusions stopped and ended at his egotistical insistence that he's the one in the right; he didn't become a supervillain because of "Madness." He didn't decide to keep his son isolated from everyone around him for YEARS, long before his wife died, because of "Madness." He didn't cultivate plans specifically meant to isolate and hurt others so as to make them vulnerable to his powers because of "Madness." Everything Gabe has done, he has done because at his core, he is a selfish, egotistical failure of a father who refuses to accept that he's the bad guy. It's like if The Owl House had Belos, after literally driving himself to the brink of death in his obsession with wiping out all Witches, be given sympathy by the heroes because "it's not his fault he's so awful, he was raised to be that way" and had his demise be because he "let" himself be killed after somehow destroying all magic but leaving the inhabitants of the Islands unharmed. It's excusing the actions of a man whose deeds are inexcusable.

And you want to know what makes all this worse? Adrien never once gains closure. For the entire finale, he's stuck hiding in his room, against his will. Despite his father tormenting him and isolating him from all his friends, despite his last fight against Hawkmoth as Nighttormentor involving him verbally ripping his dad a new one for how much of an utterly awful parent and human being he is... after the world is erased and rebuilt, his clone is basically told "oh no, your abusive father was actually a good man, you should want to be like him." It's a slap in the face of anyone and EVERYONE who has had an abusive parental figure, who has dealt with someone they are supposed to be able to look up to but who instead abused their authority to hurt and control them. Never in my life have I been so contemptful of people who try and deflect criticism of this show because "I don't work in the industry;" anyone who thinks THIS is acceptable, who excuses the writers who felt PROUD of putting together this abomination, screw you. It would be one thing, however low of a bar it would be, if the writers really COULDN'T present Gabe as being the bad guy in the end... but that's not the case. They were proud of it. This was "always the plan." I have no further words for how messed up that is.

Onto the main review. As always, warning for any profanity on my part... and there's a bit of a doozy of that today.

Episode 25: Finale Part 1 - Conformation

Alright, opening things up, and we immediately jump to the first day of Summer Break, and apparently the hot topic is the election, and the tourist scene... and for some reason, Nadja feels the need to call attention to Adrien's arrival in London, alongside Kagami.

Also, "arrived yesterday"?!? Just, what the HELL!? Again, how the fuck is all this time zone BS going on!? For fuck's sake, it's showing their arrival like it happened when it was bright and early, but there's no way the flight should've been that long! Paris is not that far from fucking LONDON of all places!! I'm also confused on why Adrien's personal life is important enough to warrant this kind of news; he's a teen model, not some kind of billionaire playboy or whatever. I'm thinking that Gabe might be astroturfing things by paying news groups to give attention to the little "arrangement" he and Tomoe are trying to set-up, to control the narrative. It would fit with his speech to Marinette about controlling what people want and aspire to obtain.

Yup, Gabe's manipulating things. It's not directly stated, but given that the news report mentioned a direct report from the Gabriel brand on this, I'd say it's likely. Also, regarding Kagami, WHAT "SUCCESSFUL MODELING CAREER!?" SHE HAS NEVER BEEN A FUCKING MODEL IN HER ENTIRE LIFE!! HECK, HER BEING ON THE ALLIANCE RING AT ALL WAS BECAUSE HER MOM USED HER IMAGE AND VOICE WITHOUT HER CONSENT!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!

Also, yeah, creepy insistence on "Perfection" again. Seriously, the obsession this show has with the concept of "perfection" is disturbing, and I don't mean it in the sense of villains using it, like Gabe and Tomoe do, but even the HEROES use it way too much. It gets thrown around so much, I can't even begin.

Oh, and I got my answer on where the "successful modeling career" for Kagami came from; from my point of view, Tomoe is allowing Gabe to appropriate Kagami's image to make ads, all designed to sell the idea that she and Adrien are a couple. And Kagami chucks something at the screen playing the ad for "Perfection, the Drink that hydrates to Perfection." Again, they are using "perfection" too much without seeming to get what it means.

And apparently Gabe's spying on Kagami and Adrien trapped in their creepy white rooms. Just, just, WHY!? Why the fucking ROOMS!? These things are just utterly disturbing, why the absolute FUCK do Tomoe and Gabe think they need to use "WHITE TORTURE ROOMS" for their kids!? Are they insane or just fucking stupid!?

And Gabe references this "Perfect Alliance" thing, which I just know I'm gonna fucking hate. Just, just why the HELL does he think they need to be in LONDON to be safe from whatever it is!? Is it a death laser? A bomb? WHAT!? For fuck's sake, GABE HAS LITERALLY ALLOWED CITY DESTROYING AKUMAS LOOSE BEFORE WITHOUT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THE DANGER THEY POSE TO ADRIEN, AND IF TOMOE HAS ALWAYS BEEN HER PARTNER THEN SHE HASN'T SHOWN ANY MORE REGARD WHEN IT COMES TO KAGAMI, THEY COULD LITERALLY JUST USE BUNKERS IN PARIS AND ACHIEVE THE SAME RESULTS!!!!

Honestly, that's what makes this so stupid to me; they are framing this scene as if Tomoe and Gabe are isolating their kids to "keep them safe," yet Gabe hasn't even TRIED to stop Akumas capable of wiping out Paris while knowing full well Adrien is there, so why is this time different? That same line of reasoning goes for Tomoe regarding Kagami; if she's always been Gabe's secret partner, and Kagami means this much to her, where were her complaints regarding incidents like Syren, when the literal city was FLOODED by the Akuma? What THEN!?

For fuck's sake, they are like overgrown children!!

"One day they'll understand that we did this all for their own good" NO THE FUCK YOU DIDN'T TOMOE!! YOU DID THIS TO SATISFY WHATEVER WEIRD AGENDA BETWEEN YOU AND GABE THAT YOU HAVEN'T ELABORATED ON!! YOU ARE ARBITRARILY TRYING TO DICTATE THEIR LIVES EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU ARE MAKING THE MISERABLE!!!

...These two are abusive. Like, no duh, that's obvious, but this is LITERALLY the kind of reasoning you see in abusive parents; it's the coldblooded rationalization that they are in the right for how they treat their children, and that it's everyone else who says differently that is wrong. Now Tomoe mentions something about a "poison" and a "remedy" which I can't begin to make heads or tails of but is probably super fucking stupid.

Yup, it's fucking stupid; I still don't know what the overall "plan" is, but Gabe just reakumatized himself into Nighttormentor (for some fucking reason), is loading up on the powers of the Mouse, Horse, and Rooster Miraculous... okay, it's apparently some fucking stupid plot to give the whole world nightmares, probably in some dumb as hell rehash of the Scarlet Akuma plot.

"The nightmare has finally begun." "And our wish to bring our child together can finally come true." I just... what? What the fuck does ANY OF THIS relate to getting Kagami and Adrien together?? Like, literally NOTHING about this scene or this plot have anything to do with them beyond Gabe spying on them while they sleep! (Which is creepy as fuck, by the way) It's just the writers shoving in relationship BS when it doesn't even relate to what these idiots are doing.

Alright, now we get an utterly stupid as hell scene of Marinette dressed up in a Ladybug-themed suit of armor like a knight while riding a red motorcycle... this is her nightmare, and it's literally doing the entire "flipped fairy tale" BS of swapping the gender stereotypes but otherwise leaving them totally unchanged, isn't it? And it's gonna end in disaster since, well, it's a NIGHTMARE.

...Yup, this is stupid. In addition to this honestly giving the vibes of a pretty sexist "role reversal" of the stereotypical "knight saves the princess," it involves Marinette "slaying the dragon holding the prince(ess) hostage" with said dragon being revealed to be Gabe, and accidentally "killing" Gabe by... lightly brushing him with her sword on the arm? And Adrien asking "why did you do that, Marinette?" I just... I cannot even FOLLOW whatever shit this is trying to BE!! It's like they are trying to say "Marinette/Ladybug would KILL Hawkmoth and break Adrien's heart!!" which already doesn't make any sense since yes, he's dying, because OF HIS OWN FUCKING STUPIDITY!!! Marinette's Lucky Charm isn't even directly harmful; the only way she could kill someone would be if she was actively TRYING to do so, and she's not the type. Why the FUCK are they trying to frame this as an actual concern she could EVER EVEN HAVE ABOUT THIS SITUATION!?

...Given I already know how this finale is gonna play out, my best guess is that this idiocy is them trying to foreshadow Marinette's "big moment" at the end, but it falls apart because it is utterly fucking contrived by implanting a fear that, like the bullshit dream sequence of a nightmare that Chat Noir was subjected to despite lacking any reason to even CONSIDER IT A CONCERN, has no real basis for. It just EXISTS to generate conflict and drama. And I'm not gonna get into how "dreams are irrational" and all that, because yes, they are; but for things like nightmares, they have to be based on things a person would already be afraid of or be having concerns over. Neither Chat nor Marinette have ANY reason to have had those particular nightmares at all!!

"I have to free him from the dragon- I mean, from his father!" Marinette... no. Shut up. Shut the absolute FUCK UP. This? This entire fucking mess is not something you need to "save" Adrien from; yes, he needs to be gotten out from Gabe's thumb, but the primary fucking REASON he still IS under Gabe's thumb is because he's been sitting on his ass and avoiding actually confronting his problems, AND YOU HAVE BEEN ENABLING HIM ALL THIS TIME!!! For fuck's sake, it's the stupidity with you trying to defend to Adrien that Gabe has "Changed" despite him threatening your career and making it clear he's never going to let you be with his son if he has any kind of a say in it, ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTED TO THIS BS. You don't get to freak out about "saving him" when you can't even woman up enough to be genuinely honest with him and let him face tough times on his own instead of constantly trying to spare his fucking feelings!!

And apparently the stupid nightmare power thing causes people physical pain as well as emotional distress, because why the fuck not!? And Marinette ends up seeing one of Gabe's new ads (still doing that stupid as fuck "Perfection" thing) with the images of Adrien and Kagami. Who thinks she'll take this the wrong way? (Raises hand)

"His father won't tell you a thing, will he?" Oh, I dunno Tikki, I think the man who has kept Adrien socially isolated from everyone for nearly his entire life, actively has fought to keep him out of public school and people his own age, is secretly a terrorist (SOMETHING YOU TWO SHOULD KNOW AFTER THAT LITTLE FIASCO WITH FELIX AND KAGAMI YESTERDAY!!!), and has micromanaged every aspect of his life down to the minute would absolutely share information on where his son is with the girlfriend he doesn't approve of! /s

"Maybe he won't, but maybe his assistant Nathalie will!" Why? Why would you have ANY FUCKING REASON TO THINK THAT? This isn't even a matter of Nathalie being trustworthy or not, point to a SINGLE MOMENT where Marinette and Nathalie have interacted positively or Nathalie has indicated any willingness to go against Gabe's BS in front of Marinette that would support her having any fucking reason TO THINK THIS!!!

"Adrien told me that she was always kind to him." Why the fuck would you believe that? Seriously, this is the same guy who spoke up for Chloe (which this season went out of its way to tear apart) and let Lila run wild by "taking the high road," why the FUCK would you think he has any fucking clue what he's talking about? He speaks well of his own father half the time despite the man transparently being a complete and utter piece of shit, Adrien isn't exactly a sparkling judge of character!!

Marinette immediately runs off to find Nathalie (why the hell would she even think Nathalie's in Paris, and where the fuck would she even find her?), but is blocked by her dad. Also, something confusing occurred to me; that stupid as hell play that Felix and Kagami put on happened the same night that Adrien left (SOMEHOW), and Marinette woke up in an abandoned classroom the next morning. How wasn't she locked in? Why weren't her parents worried about where she went and why she didn't come home last night without telling them where she was? It's the BS of the show trying to pretend ANY OF THIS MAKES ANY KIND OF SENSE WHEN IT DOESN'T.

Apparently Tom is worried about his daughter running off without eating breakfast first; to be honest, that's a healthy concern to have as skipping a meal can seriously affect your energy, and it's not like taking a few more minutes is gonna make Nathalie suddenly disappear. Ooh, and then Marinette gets hit with the conveniently awful headache that stupid as fuck Nightmare power causes! Why do I call it stupid as fuck? Because currently, we aren't seeing anyone else exhibit that symptom, despite Gabe having apparently spread his nightmare power across the globe... for SOME FUCKING REASON. Seriously, why the FUCK would he bother spreading his power like that when all his efforts have been focused on PARIS!? All he's doing is making it more likely that the international community is going to come for his fucking head.

"This has nothing to do with Adrien!" No, Marinette, it has everything to do with him (unfortunately) and you saying it doesn't is, if anything, MORE of a red flag for them. Plus, your mom was ON YOUR SIDE, so you trying to shut down her reasoning to get your dad to calm down just makes things worse. Okay, NOW we see someone else get hit with the stupid as hell headache; and again, Marinette, just be HONEST WITH YOUR PARENTS, idiot!!

Apparently Tom's nightmare was about how Marinette ended up starving herself over being upset over Adrien leaving. For fuck's sake, HAVE NONE OF THESE PEOPLE HEARD OF A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!?!? Like, him just being worried about Marinette starving is a perfectly valid fear all its own, you don't have to tack on Love Square BS into the mix!! Also, his nightmare was stupid in that he thought Marinette not eating would make her physically shrink until a mouse could eat her, instead of, you know, her just plain DYING from hunger.

Sabine's nightmare was about how TOM ended up Akumatized over his worries for Marinette. Apparently something something "trapped her in a giant brioche with an army of croissants to protect her." Like, this entire stupid scene would be less idiotic if they just left their nightmares at the most surface level explanation; getting the details just makes them sound corny and stupid, not something to actually be worried about, and makes the fact that they are still fretting over them obnoxious and hard to take seriously rather then concerning. It's hard to give a shit about people having had bad dreams when they are unironically being concerned about their kids shrinking from not eating to the point of getting eaten by a mouse, etc.

And Marinette immediately bumps into Alya, who is freaking out and convinced that Monarch is gonna find her and she'll blab the secret. See, THIS is a genuine fear to be worried about, as it actually has something resembling a basis in reality. It's still fucking stupid as Monarch DOES NOT KNOW THAT SHE KNOWS, but it's more reasonable a fear then what Marinette's parents were going through.

"We can't be seen together!" Alya, ONCE AGAIN, no one knows that YOU know Ladybug's secret (you would've had to leave like Luka and Alix did, idiot), so no, no one is going to connect you to Ladybug's secret identity, grow the FUCK up already!!

Seriously, WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE STILL DEALING WITH THESE STUPID AS FUCK HEADACHES!? We have NEVER had it indicated that the powers of an Akuma persist after they are de-Akumatized!! And no, Stoneheart's minions don't count because they were the result of the original Akuma multiplying. They are trying to artificially generate drama by making everyone on edge and freaked out, but it just does not work when everything is so utterly stupid about it!!

And after Marinette drives off, we now get a look at Adrien still dealing with that stupid as hell nightmare. What makes this nightmare stupid as fucking hell is the fact that, once again, THERE IS NO BASIS FOR IT!! Heck, the ONE THING that could be used as a basis for it, his hitting Monarch with a Cataclysm and setting up the idea that using his powers on other people utterly terrifies him, is shot to pieces by the fact that he has DELIBERATELY tried to Cataclysm TWO other people, ones who are a lot less fucking irredeemable compared to Monarch, for no good reason. This drama BS is annoying as hell. Seriously, why the hell is Adrien so torn up over a non-existent Akumatization based off of another Akumatization that neither he nor Monarch have any knowledge of!?

Adrien snaps awake with a gasp, and here we are. Adrien panting and gasping just doesn't work because the tone doesn't FEEL like something to be worried about; it's literally just a kid having a nonsensical bad dream. He then tries to demand the door be opened; wow, what a great time to gain a spine to stand up for yourself with!

Okay, and it's revealed that this entire fucking BS with the nightmares is to try and make people dependent on a self-help app designed to give people advice on relaxing activities to "help with their negative emotions." ...Why? WHY!? WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DID THEY JUST NOT INCLUDE THAT STUPID APP AS A NON-OPTIONAL UPDATE TO THEIR STUPID AS HELL RINGS!? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IT ISN'T THAT BIG OF A FUCKING CONCERN!!! YOU DID NOT NEED TO GO THROUGH THIS ENTIRE SHITHOLE OF A PLAN JUST TO DISTRIBUTE THIS THING!! HECK, IF YOU WANTED ADRIEN TO USE AN ALLIANCE RING SO BAD, YOU COULD'VE JUST FORCED HIM TO DO SO!!

"This is insane! My father is out of control!" NOW you realize that!? What, did the pure white room he's locked you into didn't give it away? Also, I'm more shocked that he's only saying that in relation to the ring being presented to him after having a bad dream. Honestly; it's so contrived that THIS is his breaking point.

And then we get a scene of Plagg FINALLY trying to talk Adrien into running away (by transforming into Chat Noir), and so far, Adrien's limiting his objections to the fact that there are cameras that would see him transform... when Plagg can just phase into the systems and break them. Honestly, Adrien blinding and drowning out the SECOND Camera by using the Alliance Ring's inability to stop asking people to ask for the "Perfect Alliance" is pretty clever... and then they have Adrien intending to give up the Ring and going full damsel.

"I'm too angry. at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and rings that use my image, it makes me sick. This nightmare gives me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll get Akumatized and destroy everything with my Cataclysm! Marinette, Ladybug." And he took off the ring, which somehow didn't cause Plagg to get sucked into it. It's almost funny; if it weren't for the fact that his dream is entirely BS and he's angsting over LITERALLY NOTHING, as well as the fact that HE KNOWS REJECTING AN AKUMA IS POSSIBLE AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO NOT BE ANGRY TO DO SO, this would be an honestly heartfelt scene. As it is, the fact that this season has been wall-to-wall "random people reject the Akuma's influence" just makes this scene stupid as fuck; it's BS like THIS that should make it so you don't throw around "rejecting the mind-controlling villain's influence" so willy-nilly. It took what little believable tension this scene had, and shot it in the fucking foot. Good job! (Deliberately ignoring the Love Square shilling and too-little-too-late efforts of showing Adrien having a spine)

What's so obnoxious is that ALL OF THIS is too little, too late. It's trying to act as if this is some kind of tipping point for Adrien, like this is something that he had no reason to see coming, yet all of this? He's known it's been coming FOR WEEKS, more even, or it's just a rehash of abuses Gabe has already put him through. It's genuinely hard to care about what he's going through when he's been doing nothing, his character has been at a fucking STAND STILL, for the entire show.

"If I ask her for help, I'd have to give her information that would jeopardize my secret identity." NO!! YOU WOULDN'T!!! YOU COULD LITERALLY JUST HAVE PLAGG SHARE THAT SOMETHING MESSED UP IS GOING ON AND YOU HAD TO HAVE HIM INFORM LADYBUG THAT SHE NEEDS TO RESCUE YOU IN "CHAT NOIR'S" PLACE!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! They are digging for any and every possible excuse to delay having Adrien do something smarter. Is his secret ID really that big of a fucking deal if it means finally being free!? Heck, NOW, of ALL TIMES, is the best possible moment to have her find out the truth!!

And thus Adrien's journey from "independent spirit chafing at his father's control" to "gender-flipped damsel in distress" is now complete! God this is fucking pathetic. Oh, and rather than maintain his efforts to not give in to his father's control, he puts on the ring, conveniently forgetting that he's not the only person in the world capable of having a bad day.

"Adrien, focus on the thing you like the most; the soothing sound of the foils brushing against one another." ...That's it? The big 'reveal' surrounding the "Perfect Alliance" is "basic advice on how to not think about something upsetting you by thinking about something else"? THAT'S ALL THE FUCK IT IS!? Also, the fact that this response is both A) wrong, Fencing is not the thing he likes the most, and B) rather blatantly tailored to Adrien by his parents, makes it pretty fucking obvious that this is an engineered scenario to push more forced shipping BS on the part of Gabe and Tomoe.

"The stimuli that Adrien is receiving on his ring are relaxing his nervous system; the images he's watching are now associated with the feeling of well-being. He's forgetting all about the nightmares he'd previously been obsessing about. Soon he'll calm down and later, fall sound asleep." ...I cannot for the life of me make heads or tails of whatever this fiasco of a plot is even supposed to be about. For starters, Adrien wasn't watching the images at all, he was just listening to the Ring's advice. And forming those kinds of mental associations take a lot stronger emotions then what amounts to a kid being a little stressed over a nonsensical bad dream, and given that these dreams are apparently targeting (really dumb) TRAUMA, then NO, they are not going to "forget all about the nightmares," it's distracting them from them only. And how in the FUCK would they have any impact over superpowers-derived NIGHTMARES!?

Seriously, you cannot make a set-up be all about how the nightmares are a supernatural phenomenon and then introduce a technological "solution" to them. It doesn't work because just getting BASIC FUCKING ADVICE on how to handle stress is not gonna change the fact that all those people are still under the influence of Monarch's power.

"Perfect Alliance is a success, Tsurugi-san." HOW!? You haven't even made whatever point it's supposed to be about!!

Oh, now Marinette FINALLY arrives at the Agreste Manor in Paris, and is intending to break into it to find Nathalie. Tikki tries to warn her off using her powers to break in, on the basis that using them for personal gain has never turned out well for her, which is a good point! Too bad she's not gonna listen.

She counters that it isn't personal this time, it's for Adrien. ...Marinette, how the absolute FUCK have you forgotten that even if it's for Adrien, you aren't doing it for him, YOU ARE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF!! You literally once broke into his room to sniff his stuff AS LADYBUG. You don't get to claim a moral high ground on this.

Oh, and now we are in Nathalie's nightmare, which is a disjointed weirdness of her being bothered by giant ads for the "Perfect Alliance" and "Monarch making his Wish." What the fuck is even happening, I couldn't say. Oh, she's making a video diary for Adrien "for when she's no longer here" and bringing up Emilie... and she couldn't even finish it, due to another ad for the "Perfect Alliance," and tries to grab her old hunting gear despite being extremely infirm. Hmm, it's almost as if she's been wasting MONTHS AND WEEKS of time that she could've used to get the proper authorities or just flatout TELL THE HEROES WHO MONARCH IS, and is now on death's door when Monarch's "brilliant plan" is right around the corner.

Oh, and apparently, instead of trying to find Nathalie, Ladybug was just snooping in Adrien's room! Of course. She only even NOTICES Nathalie trying to leave because her tech-brace is loud.

Brief look of Plagg flying to Paris with the Ring, I wonder how long that'll take him?

And now we get a look of Tom using the Alliance Ring to relax. Him and Sabine are literally too relaxed in this scene; is the Perfect Alliance some kind of brainwashing device? BECAUSE THIS IS NOT HOW RELAXATION WORKS AND THE NIGHTMARES ARE STILL A SUPERNATURAL PHENOMENON!!!

""Adrien and Kagami really form a Perfect Alliance."" Okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure this is meant to be a brainwashing thing. EXCEPT THIS IS NOT HOW BRAINWASHING WORKS YOU FUCKING IDIOT WRITERS!!!

"If I'd known it'd take so long, I'd have made myself a cheese sandwich!" I feel like the writers having Plagg state this is them trying to justify the time zone fuckery, which really doesn't work since Plagg can both A) avoid having to go by Land Routes, and B) Planes fly much higher and much faster than Plagg does skimming just above the water.

Okay, and it looks like, rather than TALK TO NATHALIE like she said she would, Marinette/Ladybug has instead decided to break into her room and snoop through her stuff! Nope, nothing morally or ethically questionable about that! Oh, and she spots a pic of Nathalie, Emilie, and Gabe in safari gear and "makes the connection" that the third woman in the picture is Nathalie wearing the outfit she's right next to. Marinette, why the fuck are you shocked by this? What is there even to be SHOCKED OVER!?

And Plagg FINALLY makes it to Paris!! And is somehow surprised to find that Marinette doesn't spend all of her time at her house. After snooping in her room a bit, he spots a picture that has Marinette and her female friends on it; I wonder where he's going with this...

Okay, now we get a scene of Tsurugi in front of a monitor screen! ...She's supposed to be blind, right? So why the hell is she always presented as not being visually impaired at all, staring at monitors and screens and other forms of visual input without any way to bridge the sensory gap?

Okay, apparently the "big plan" is them having set up this entire convoluted BS is all to facilitate making people dependent on their stupid as fuck brainwashing app, and then take it away from everyone... okay, I just, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NEED AN AKUMA FOR THIS!? You literally could've played the long game, revealed the "Perfect Alliance" MONTHS AGO, and just gradually waited for the numbers to build up before yanking it away!! For fuck's sake, this is dumb.

I also don't get what Tomoe means by them going to the "next phase of the plan" not having a great enough shock with only 80% of all Alliance Users having downloaded the app. Like, again, you could've gotten a much bigger shock if you had played the long game, lady.

Now Plagg's at Anarka's ship and all of Marinette's friends are doing nothing but lounge around with the Alliance Ring. STILL NOT HOW BRAINWASHING AND DEPENDENCY WORKS, ASTRUC.

Oh look, here's Mylene, the "no-tech" member of their friend group whose hyper-aversion to all non-recyclable technology was shoved in out of nowhere probably just to set-up this stupid as fuck scene that's coming!

...Wow, her nightmare is honestly the dumbest one yet. Like, no joke, "all the trees uprooted by extraterrestrials." I just... what even is that supposed to mean!? Why the fuck does she think that was a "prophetic dream"? Did they seriously turn her into a full-on "New-Age Hippy" oh who the hell am I kidding, OF COURSE THEY DID.

"Put this on, Mylene. You'll feel better." ...I really, REALLY fucking hope that having Nino, the guy who looks like he's of African descent, say something like you'd expect from a drug dealer is just a mistake, because THAT LOOKS AND SOUNDS FUCKED UP.

"I refuse to touch an object that was made without respect for the Earth's resources!" Then how the fuck do you even make it outside, Mylene? HOW!? Also, yup, new-age hippy.

Yeah, this whole thing feels like it's combining internet addiction with drug addiction, and it falls flat on its face because NONE OF THIS IS HOW DEPENDENCE WORKS, and making MYLENE of all people the one pushing back against this stupidity is kinda the worst way to use her. It's reducing her to just "environmentalism" in the worst possible way. Yeah... they are just gonna keep trucking along with this, aren't they? I'm probably gonna just vibe on through this point, since nothing else of substance is happening.

Oh look, something happened with Emilie's weird as hell coffin thing that we still don't know what it does. And back to the good old "Gabriel monologuing to his wife's corpse" scene! Been awhile. Yadda yadda yadda, "I've given up my ambitions (lies), my morality (true, VERY true), but I've never given up on you," and all it cost you was your son's love and respect, not that you had it before given you haven't changed how much of a toxic control freak you are in the slightest.

"I only have a few hours left now," HMM I WONDER WHY!? SURELY ALL THE TIMES YOU HAVE WASTED ON LOOPING THROUGH TIME HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!

And after nearly, FINALLY admitting Emilie is dead while monologuing about bringing her back, Nathalie finally bursts onto the scene with her crossbow... she's not even remotely a threat, she is a fucking moron, and this "act of defiance” is utterly fucking stupid. She had her chance, and she fucking blew it. She's gonna die here, and it's all her own fault.

"If you make the wish to bring her back, someone will have to go in her place." Yeah... you are the last person to say that, given what you've been doing.

"Emilie would never have agreed to this!" Again, last person to be saying this. You could've stopped him at any time, this is entirely your own damn fault.

"Do you think I'd be monstrous enough to sacrifice a human being!?" Oh, I dunno, you haven't given any kind of fucks about enabling others to do just that (Pharaoh), when you aren't also enabling villains capable of rendering the entire city devoid of life (Syren). So... yes, she has every reason to believe you would do just that.

"Do you really think that I'm a monster?" YES!! DUDE, YES YOU ARE A FUCKING MONSTER!!!

And he knocks her out cold. Big surprise there.

Now we're back to Marinette snooping in Nathalie's room! Hmm, it's almost as if she's totally forgotten the reason she broke into this place entirely! Hey, she found Fu's stolen tablet. It's almost as if she hadn't learned that Gabriel Agreste is Monarch a day or two ago!

"It can't be!" Marinette... YOU LEARNED ALL THIS LESS THEN TWO DAYS AGO FROM FELIX AND KAGAMI!! Then again, given that Felix hyper-fixated on his "play" being all about making Marinette feel sorry for him in spite of his crimes, it's possible it just slipped to the back of her mind. But no, you should ALREADY KNOW THIS BY NOW.

Oh, and Monarch entered while carrying Nathalie into the room.

And Gabe begins monologuing about how he knew she would betray him and had been prepared... the FUCK YOU DID!! Seriously, she hasn't done anything to act against you all this time, even when she actively said she was betraying you she did nothing to try and stop you, and even after she DID interfere with your attempts to control Adrien, you STILL let her keep the means of doing so!!! Oh, and Marinette's trying to inform Chat Noir in the background.

"You will be loyal to me until the end, after all." So, either he intends to sacrifice HER to bring back his wife, or something like that, because otherwise, this is all just BS posturing on his part. I'm honestly surprised he isn't planning on, I dunno, sacrificing Marinette or something so that she'll cease to be a diversion to his goals of keeping Adrien and Kagami together.

I would hardly call being locked up in a stark white room, the kind used for White Torture, is "safe."

"Monarch is going to send all of human kind after you and Chat Noir." ...HOW DOES THAT RELATE IN ANY WAY TO THIS BULLSHIT PLAN!? For fuck's sake this is dumb.

Them having this weird filter thing going on with Marinette at the moment is dumb. It just looks out of place, and using it over and over again is just distracting from the tension of the scene.

Oh, now I get it, they are intending to have all their brainwashed minions be conditioned to hate Chat Noir and Ladybug by having them interfere with their images on the ring. Once again, this is not how brainwashing or dependence work, so this is just BS. Seriously, how can people who are using the Ring in the same room fall for this? Why the fuck would ANYONE fall for this!?

...And this is where it all falls apart. They are literally having people think that "Adrien" and "Kagami" were kidnapped by "Chat Noir" and "Ladybug." Instead of, you know, some asshole hacking the Perfect Alliance APP!? How fucking stupid ARE THESE IDIOTS!?

Seriously, how the hell have these idiots forgotten that what's shown on the Alliance IS JUST AN AI IMAGE!! IT IS NOT THE REAL PEOPLE!!! For fuck's sake, some of them were literally having totally different "relaxation programs" running while in the same room, they should KNOW that it's not possible for two people to be doing multiple different activities simultaneously! Oh what am I talking about, this is just stupid.

Oh, apparently Monarch found a way to weaponize his Cataclysm wound. That'd almost be clever if it weren't something he absolutely hadn't planned ahead of time and amounts to a BS asspull to artificially increase the stakes.

Seriously "Miraculize me?" ...Honestly, it isn't the worst phrase ever. I might even like it. If it weren't part of the most bullshit asspullery this season has had to date; how the absolute FUCK does this make any sense!? How were they able to, I dunno, recreate the power of transformation that all Miraculouses possess in those Rings? Probably via however the hell the Transfer system works, admittedly, but COME THE FUCK ON THIS IS LITERALLY JUST A CHEAP RIP OFF OF HEROES DAY!!!

What makes this stupidity even worse is that it's deliberately presenting this as those who have "Miraculized" being fully aware of their actions. Ugghhh...

Seriously, Alya, JUST TAKE THE FUCKING RING!! You getting Akumatized really isn't a risk since, you know, you can just RESIST IT LIKE YOU HAVE ALL THE OTHER TIMES.

Also, how everyone who is "Miraculized" doesn't realize that they are using the stolen Miraculous powers makes no sense to me. This is stupid. Then again, I'm getting the feeling that this is some new spin on Akumatization.

And with that, we get the debut of... sigh... "Bug Noir." Lame name aside, not the worst costume ever. This is just stupid... And with THAT, this episode is DONE!

Episode 26: Finale Part 2 - Re-Creation

Opening with a creepy room with, oh look, Tomoe's missing laptop, so this is obviously Lila's current base. For some stupid reason, we have Alec's new "empowering" show playing in the background, instead of something like, you know, the news so she could stay up to date on what her nemeses are doing!?

And she's apparently smirking over seeing Alec having a meltdown because of that stupid as hell Nightmare power. Seriously, there is NO TENSION here. I'm not even sure what this scene is supposed to convey; is she just being sadistic and getting a kick out of his nightmare? I don't know what this is supposed to mean. Nothing of progress is happening here.

Oh look, a breaking news story in the middle of Alec's breakdown. Apparently Nadja, who was the one to spread the very obvious lie that Adrien and Kagami had been kidnapped by Chat Noir and Adrien, is now reporting on the Miraculized villains. Kinda funny how everyone apparently recognizes that they are villains when, by all accounts, the transformation is AN INTENDED EFFECT OF THE RINGS THAT GABE JUST MADE PUBLIC!!! I wonder if that'll be relevant at all going forward? I doubt it.

And with a quick costume change, Lila hops on her bike and takes off to do... something.

Now back to our regularly scheduled fight between Monarch and Marinette, with Monarch realizing that he should've known Marinette was Ladybug; how? Dude, you fucking KNOW that the Transformations obscure the wielder's identity, you wouldn't have gone to the utterly idiotic amount of trouble of making a step counter in the Alliance Rings that would alert you if someone wearing one performed superhuman feats! There's no reason you should've "known" she was Ladybug, unless you are counting that one time you attempted to Akumatize her in Derision that failed to take hold and didn't result in you somehow realizing who she is like you realized Luka KNEW WHO SHE AND CHAT NOIR ARE!! (Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit~!)

He comments on how many times he's nearly Akumatized her, with Marinette emphasizes the "nearly" aspect of it, which is a fun way to tweak the edgy drama king's nose. He remarks that that's only because of her outrageous luck... which is spot on. Marinette averting Akumatization so often boils down to either dumb luck or deus ex machina on the part of the writers.

"Luck is something you make." Got to admit, a line like that right after her dropping a piano on him is actually a good line. If only it weren't ruined by the fact that this scene involves Marinette completely and utterly stealing any and all of the spotlight from Adrien because "reasons."

Okay, it looks like the show is abandoning the pretense that the Miraculized need to consent to it, given that two random people on the bridge just transformed without any sign they asked for it to happen. Oh, and Rose shows off a surprising degree of athleticism by shoulder-checking Ivan so that their friends can take his ring off; and after smashing it, he turns back to normal. I don't know why they'd need to smash it, but at least it shows that the Miraculized are exactly what I said they are... a lazy ripoff of the Scarlet Akumas during Heroes Day. Heck, they are WORSE than the Scarlet Akumas, since they are apparently weak enough that random civilians can pin them in place, and they have nothing but the same pool of powers to tap. You know, this nonsense could've been slightly interesting if they had made it so that the Miraculized being able to channel all the powers of Monarch's Rings was harming them, since people aren't MEANT to be able to have so many of those things active at once... but we all know the show isn't gonna mention that.

And apparently the Miraculized are still stuck under the bullshit Nightmare Akuma powers, going by Ivan getting a group hug.

Now we get a scene of the Miraculized attacking Marinette's uncle for some dumb as fuck reason. I say "dumb as fuck" because whatever coolness would be had at seeing Wang be badass is completely undermined by the fact that THE MIRACULIZED HAVE NO REASON TO GO AFTER HIM!! Seriously, they can TRACK CHAT NOIR AND LADYBUG!! Why the hell would they have any reason to think the two of them are currently in a Chinese Restaurant?!

Oh look, it's Fei, the living example that Gabe has already caused permanent casualties in his obsession with bringing Emilie back and thus the permanent rebuke of him being "redeemable" since her adoptive father is dead as an explicit result of Gabe's actions! Apparently she's also suffering the bullshit nightmare power for some reason. Apparently she's been staying with... Wang for some reason? Which, I guess it'd make for an interesting plot, Fei being like an adopted cousin for Marinette, if only something like THAT was being given focus instead of the utterly pointlessness of them being harassed by the Miraculized.

...Okay, I call bullshit. When the absolute FUCK was it ever hinted at that Penny and Jagged were getting training by Su-Han? WHEN!? Hint, IT WASN'T EVER HINTED!! And once again, the Miraculized really have no reason to be attacking them in the first fucking place!!! Oh, and Luka too; him, admittedly, I could actually see getting training, if it weren't, I cannot reiterate this enough, NEVER ONCE HAVING BEEN HINTED AT OR ALLUDED TOO!!!

Oh wow, we are getting all the bullshit today. Bunnyx pops in just to let them know that they'd be more useful in Paris. This is in spite of the fact that, despite retransforming and even UNIFYING the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculouses while fighting Monarch, Marinette hasn't seen a hint of the Miraculized since throwing them off her fucking trail!!

Oh, now we're in New York, and guess who's the first hero we see getting harassed by the Miraculized? Not Aeon, not Liberty, not anyone like that... no, it's a guy themed around Hot Dogs of all things, and who gets his powers from... I am not even kidding... Magic. Hot Dogs. They, they really aren't even TRYING, are they? Okay, now Majestia is on the scene, and... I'll be blunt, she looks kinda weird. I just... do not like her design. And for fuck's sake, why are the Miraculized showing up like this to attack NON-Ladybug heroes? Seriously, THEY CAN TRACK HER!!! Also, wow, Majestia's nightmare is basically "I'm not perfect enough" wangsting.

Now Knight Owl's on the scene and is apparently no longer disguising her gender. I'm genuinely baffled on WHY, since I can't recall her ever alluding to needing to make a change.

Oh look, it's Eagle, the very on-the-nose Superheroine who looks like an incredibly racist Native American stereotype, wondering what the heck is causing all the Miraculized to have shown up. Aeon shows up, I refuse to call her "Uncanny Valley," and remarks that she can detect the Quantum Imprint of Miraculous Powers, which I'm sincerely confused by since her only prior experience with Miraculous Powers are the Butterfly, Eagle, Black Cat, and Ladybug; I guess this is either confirmation that the Miraculization transformation is based on the Butterfly's Akumatization, or the others having the characters say things as a hand-wave to move the plot along.

"Something must have occurred in Paris!" ...Yeah, no fucking DUH. Leaving to the side why Gabe would even HAVE Alliance Rings outside of Paris, given that it's not as if Hawkmoth has a habit of showing up anywhere but there, all the Miraculized ranting about needing to find and demanding to know where Ladybug and Chat Noir are SHOULD HAVE BEEN A VARIOUS OBVIOUS CLUE that something had happened in Paris. Also, the fact that they don't know already REALLY makes the Media in London's focus on Bustier's running for Mayor bizarre.

Now, back to the fight against Monarch! Ladybug cuffed them together, and declares she'll take back all of the Miraculouses. That would be more impactful if she hadn't squandered TWO key opportunities to get them all, or at least a solid majority, back prior to this. Apparently she's gonna just try and yank them off mid-fight... yes, that is something utterly stupid to do, why do you ask? Doubly so because they are HANDCUFFED TOGETHER meaning she's got one less hand to grab with and defend herself with.

Seriously, she'd have much better luck just defeating him THEN grabbing the Rings. It is not that alien of a thought, is it!?

Hawkmoth makes a good point that, between the two of them, she's honestly the more foolish of them in how she came right into his lair wearing the Miraculouses he needs. Ladybug counters that he always loses. Which would be a weak comeback if it weren't true; Hawkmoth has routinely squandered every advantage he has possessed, failed to leverage his powers for maximum effectiveness, and has largely gotten as far as he has off of dumb luck and other people grabbing the idiot ball. Neither of them come off as particularly competent here, so I'm not really engaged with the fight. The fact that Marinette thought it was a good idea to Handcuff herself to the villain currently wielding a paralysis power kinda highlights that.

The fact that she keeps insisting on trying to Cataclysm the Shell-ter he puts up around his fist instead of, you know, hitting him unconscious with her staff, really highlights how her priorities in this fight are both dumb and actively harmful.

"The Kwami are my prisoners, pathetic little beasts in cages! There are people content with following the rules, and people who bend the world to their wishes!" This really evil rant would honestly be pretty badass if he weren't collapsed on the ground, coughing up ashes. Seriously, WHY IS LADYBUG NOT YANKING OFF THE REST OF HIS RINGS WHILE HE CAN'T MOVE!?!? It's the same exact shit the last two time, she's got him right where she wants him, and is doing NOTHING to actually try and fucking stop him!!

"You played Guardian of the Miraculous, I reinvented their magic!" Again, this would be a lot more threatening if he wasn't monologuing while struggling to pick himself off the ground while Ladybug just stands there and listens to him. Also, he's kinda right; horrific abuse of the Kwamis aside, he actually figured out a way to fuse their magic with advanced technology and made their powers into something anyone can access.

And after one last threat at Ladybug, he manages to escape using Voyage, once again showing off why Ladybug not doing all she can to disarm him when she KNOWS he's in no shape to stop her is SUPER FUCKING STUPID!!!

I'd say that his making the portal open up above her to perform a superman landing directly on her head (or attempted to at least) WOULD be cool if he hadn't been struggling just to MOVE right before he did so. She used her Lucky Charm to create some kind of... giant flyswatter I guess? Instead of, you know, attacking using the staff she still has access to. Big brain move right there.

Also, never mind, it's a giant hammer.

After blasting Hawkmoth through a wall, we return to the Miraculized wandering through Paris, with one being followed by boxes shuffling around. Hmm, I wonder who this could be- It's obviously Nino and the rest of Marinette's friends. For fuck's sake, why the HELL haven't the Miraculized realized she's still in the Agreste Manor!? They are tracking her by the signature of her FUCKING SUPERPOWERS, and she has both the Ladybug AND Black Cat active, they should be right on top of her all over again!! This would be the perfect time for a badass moment of all the Miraculized attempting to swarm her again, only for all of Marinette's friends and allies from around the world to be holding them off so she can focus on Monarch, but because they SOMEHOW haven't realized where she is, we get THIS SHIT instead!!

And apparently they went to all the trouble of de-Miraculizing... Principal Damocles. WHY!? Then the superheroes of New York show up and De-Miraculize Nora; which is... kinda dumb that they wasted time not immediately rushing her, taking her down, and then moving on to the POTENTIALLY MILLIONS OF OTHER MIRACULIZED IN THE FUCKING CITY!! Seriously, They have someone with superspeed on their side, AND someone who can undo the Nightmare Power (again, WHY is it still in fucking effect!?), so... I'm not sure why they emphasized taking Nora down so much.

Back to the fight against Hawkmoth, and Ladybug revealing she knows who he is... and all this fucking does is highlight how absolute BULLSHIT IT IS THAT CHAT NOIR ISN'T THERE!! For fuck's sake, we literally got TEASED with how much he's itching on the inside to tear his dad a new one for all the shit he's caused and put his son through just two episodes ago, so this reveal is just such an absolute fucking WASTE!! What makes it even worse is that both A) Monarch himself now knows who Ladybug is yet still is unaware of his son's alter ego and B) that he didn't seem to realize that monologuing about how Ladybug had "walked into the Monarch's Den" would BE A MASSIVE FUCKING SIGN TO WHO THE FUCK HE REALLY IS!!!

And, once again, we get someone capable of using Cataclysm using it on a person. For fuck's sake, we literally had Marinette have a fucking NIGHTMARE over this exact set-up, harming Gabe and Adrien hating her for killing her dad, why the FUCK would she think that using Cataclysm on him is a FUCKING GOOD IDEA!? Not even mentioning that she FUCKING KNOWS HE HAS THE OX, WHY IS THE FACT HE'S ONLY NOW USING IT TO BLOCK CATACLYSM IS SUCH A BRILLIANT IDEA!?!?

Also, why did she call it the Power of the Buffalo...? For once, I'm just gonna go with "that was a genuine mistake" and not the Writers being fucking morons.

Oh, and NOW the fact that she's under that Nightmare Power makes itself known, after the ENTIRE FUCKING FIGHT UP UNTIL NOW hasn't had it negatively effect her at all.

Seriously, we once AGAIN FUCK THIS SHIT TO HELL have a case where Ladybug essentially wasting her time and not taking the initiative in the fight to disarm Hawkmoth biting her in the ass. Since, you know, she literally had the perfect chance to strip him down of his stolen Miraculouses, and did NOTHING with the opportunity!!

And after a brief moment of Ladybug having "Resistance, Voyage, and Venom" highlighted with her "Buggy Vision," she ends up Cataclysming the floor.

After which, we immediately swap over to the "Resistance" getting chased around by the Miraculized... FOR SOME REASON. Like, WHY!? That is my root issue with this, WHY are the Miraculized going after anyone who isn't Ladybug or Chat Noir!? They are explicitly hunting them, and are equipped with tech that lets them TRACK them, so why in the world would they give a crap about random civilians that aren't their targets!?

Seriously, whatever tension could be found here is completely undercut by the fact that THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON FOR THEM TO BE GOING AFTER MARINETTE'S FRIENDS!!!

Now we get Su-Han and his "students" arriving to help fight, with Su-Han shouting "Storm of Justice!" Like... why? Just WHY!? It sounds like something out of a cringy, badly dubbed Chinese film. Even ignoring the vaguely racist-sounding quotes from Su-Han, the fight is... bad. Like, no joke; the moves are stilted, low-energy, and look more like something you'd see at a Martial Arts demonstration, and those typically aren't happening at the speed of an actual fight.

Then we get Juleka and Luka reuniting. Oh look, her "stutter" is completely gone, what a surprise. She's also curious on where Luka learned his moves, something I'm curious about as well. And of FUCKING COURSE it gets brushed aside with "That's a long story." Yeah, almost like it's a more interesting plot then this shoddy knock-off of Heroes' Day. Because more and more, that's what this is; there is no reasonable explanation behind the Miraculized going after random folks who aren't also Miraculized, especially not when they have tech designed to facilitate their ACTUAL GOAL, they are just copying Heroes' Day's "all hands on deck" set-up.

Okay, and now the "United Heroez" (really cringe name, Astruc) have shown up to bail the Guardians out. Which kinda reminds me of Marinette's angry rant to Socqueline during her debut; the show has a strong vibe of "you need superpowers, or tech advanced enough that it makes no difference, to be a hero" vibe to it. Also, I'm genuinely confused on how Su-Han is effected by the Nightmare; for fuck's sake, this is the guy who no-selled being Akumatized BY SLAPPING IT, he should absolutely have some mystic technique thing that lets him resist mental influences that aren't possession-based.

Knight Owl going "I am the nightmare" does not feel impressive, Astruc, it feels dumb. It's just a lame knock-off of Batman's routine, and it doesn't work when said during broad daylight in a costume that uses soft shades of violet to color it; it makes her look dumber more than anything. Oh, and it adds nothing to the scene since it explains NOTHING on how she can actually resist what is a literal magical curse on people.

Oh, now we got Ladydragon on the scene in Dragon Form. I'm sincerely confused on how in the WORLD she could target a literal blast of lightning so that it only damages the Alliance Rings. They... really aren't even pretending to give this fight real stakes, are they? It also highlights the issue with Fei's Dragon Form, in that she's so overwhelmingly powerful while using it that she can no-sell all but the most OP of enemies in the Miraculous-verse.

Hey, one of the Miraculized actually gave a reason why they are being targeted "They are Ladybug and Chat Noir's accomplices!" Which makes sense NOW that they are actually making progress in stopping the Miraculized... but doesn't explain WHY THE HELL THEY WERE TARGETING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE UP UNTIL NOW!!!

Seriously, this entire fucking FIGHT is utterly stupid since, as I will keep repeating, THESE IDIOT VILLAINS CAN TRACK THE MIRACULOUSES!!! Or rather, they can track the power they generate while in-use. Hmm, didn't Orikko say Hawkmoth couldn't ask for a power that would do exactly that since it would "be a wish"? Not looking like much of a wish right now.

"Ladybug, what are you doing?" Alya, think for a second and consider what in the world could make Ladybug not intervene with a situation like this. Like, I dunno, maybe the fact that whenever a "big scheme" like this is set off, the culprit is always Hawkmoth and he always directly confronts the heroes, so she's probably off fighting Hawkmoth directly. That, or she's getting FUCKING SWARMED BY THE LITERAL ARMY OF SUPER POWERED BRAINWASHED MINIONS!!!

She isn't, but the fact that Alya hasn't thought of this is eye-roll inducing.

And now we are back to the fight between Hawkmoth and Ladybug!! Hawkmoth demands Ladybug hand over the Miraculouses so he can make his wish... instead of, you know, attacking her while she's scrambling for a weapon in the dirt and yanking them off her. Why is he so fixated on the idea of someone GIVING him the Miraculouses rather than sincerely getting his hands dirty in nabbing them?

Oh hey, he finally actually attacks her when she leaves herself open! That happens so rarely these days that it is genuinely noteworthy.

"Are you so sure that no Wish is worth that price, Marinette?!" Dude... YES!! You have crossed so many fucking lines in your obsessive pursuit over obtaining it that it really makes you and you alone the bad guy in this instance. Even if you WON, you have utterly failed as a father, disrespected your wife's wishes, are implied to be planning to KILL your old friend in the pursuit of disrespecting said wishes, and have been tormenting the city for nearly a fucking YEAR with massive risks of lost lives!! You are not the only person in the world who is hurting! You are not the only one whose feelings and opinions FUCKING MATTER!!! You are a monster, and all this BS is just you trying to ensure that you control everything!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

"No, this is impossible!" She says as she sees Emilie's corpse in a glass coffin. HOW is it impossible!? You KNEW Emilie was "gone," and as much as the show dances the hell around the topic of death to the point of stupidity, why the FUCK is the reveal that Hawkmoth is such an obsessed maniac that he's preserved his wife's corpse so fucking impossible you idiot!?

Hawkmoth now going on a ridiculously obnoxious rant on how Emilie being back will allow Kagami and Adrien to become the eternal "perfect icons of this world, and we will be here to witness their absolute triumph!" Note how all of this involves this lunatic utterly ignoring how he is ignoring what LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED WANTS except for himself; this is not about bringing back his wife for his son or their family, this is all for HIMSELF. He is doing all this FOR HIMSELF. Always has, always will; he STILL refuses to accept that Adrien is unhappy with his controlling and toxic BS, and probably hates him by this point for him being an abusive piece of shit, because doing so means admitting that he doesn't actually CARE about Adrien's happiness, just his own, just how HE gets to make everything fit into neat little boxes.

"How many lives are you going to ruin in the name of your crazy dreams!?" YES!! For the first time in this fucking season, MARINETTE IS TALKING SENSE!? Also, still annoyed that she's not trying to keep fighting him since he is LITERALLY JUST STANDING THERE WITH HIS ARMS SPREAD AND NO LONGER HAS THE TURTLE RING TO SHIELD HIS RINGS FROM BEING STOLEN BY HER!!!

And here we get the part where Hawkmoth spells out that he knows full and well the consequences of the Wish, that it'll mean forcing his suffering of the Cataclysm onto someone else as well as killing someone to bring back Emilie, and basically asks why Marinette isn't willing to suffer for "Adrien's happiness" all while conveniently ignoring that HE has been sabotaging Adrien's happiness for YEARS because it wasn't the "happiness" Gabe decided he should have.

Now we get Marinette calling Gabe out on him putting his own butthurt feelings over Adrien's wellbeing and thus being a total failure as a father, and Gabe, being the projecting asshole that he is, claims that Adrien would CLEARLY do the same thing, despite the fact that Adrien's prior episodes that involve the lost of Emilie have all basically spelled out that he's made peace with it and MOVED THE FUCK ON!!! Something Gabe refuses to do because doing so would mean admitting he can't control this situation.

It's kinda hilarious in a bad way how Marinette says to Gabe "Adrien means nothing to you anymore," implying that he ever meant anything as a son to him at all, despite the fact that Adrien has basically been a prisoner in his own house SINCE LITERAL CHILDHOOD. Gabe stopped giving a damn about what Adrien wanted a long time ago, well before Emilie got hurt or sick. The fact that the show glosses over the fact that Adrien's isolation predates Emilie's death is one of the most sickening aspects of this show, as it shows how committed they are to ignoring the truth they've crafted in favor of their own BS narrative.

Oh, and we get a short clip of Lila using the stolen laptop to open Gabe's security system and entering the manor.

"All I want is for him to be happy" He says after having forced Adrien to leave his entire life behind, forced him into a fake relationship with a girl he isn't in love with, actively tried to sabotage any chance of Adrien getting together with Marinette despite her, on paper, making a far better partner in terms of optics compared to Kagami, who is utterly out of place in the Gabriel brand and the fashion/modeling industry altogether. Dude, pull the other one, YOU DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIS HAPPINESS.

And after a needlessly complicated rube goldberg device to disarm Hawkmoth (ignoring how she literally has had MULTIPLE CHANCES TO DISARM HIM BY JUST YANKING THE STUPID THINGS OFF OF HIM!!!) that also brings down a support column/elevator down onto the general direction of Emilie's coffin, Marinette has finally bested Hawkmoth, yanking off the Butterfly Miraculous and rendering him powerless! Now all that's left is for her to bring him to the police, expose him to the world, and who the fuck am I kidding there's no chance the writers will let that happen.

Okay, and now the Butterfly Miraculous has fallen into the water!! With Hawkmoth now ordering Nooroo to bring his brooch back; funny how we get scenes like this when the end of S3 had the Kwamis deliberately ignore Chloe even while she actually WAS wearing the Miraculouses.

Now Ladybug is hauling him away from the edge... slowly. And says... this:

"I'm still the Guardian, and the Guardian just took the Miraculous of the Butterfly back from you!" ...No. NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T. YOU KNOCKED IT OFF HIM AND ALLOWED IT TO FALL INTO THE RANCID WATERS BENEATH THIS WEIRD-ASS SECRET BASE GABE HAS BENEATH HIS FUCKING HOUSE. They are seriously fucking trying to use "the rules" to defang Gabe, instead of, you know, having had her YANK THE FUCKING THING OFF WHEN HE WAS HELPLESS, and citing some unexplained magical BS as the reason this works instead of, again, JUST YANKING THE THING OFF OF HIM.

Seriously, they are just acting as if Marinette knocking the thing into the water is this magic "cure all" that just... prevents Nooroo from being compelled to obey Gabe. What the hell is this even supposed to be based on!? It's not as if any Guardian picked Gabe in the first place!!

"Someone that I'll be choosing!" ...Marinette, literally the ENTIRE FUCKING REASON you were even chosen in the first place was to take the Butterfly Miraculous out and off the playing field, because the Miraculouses are meant to be used SPARINGLY. How the fuck do you even know if you'll even be ALIVE by the time a new wielder would even be NEEDED!?

Then Gabe tries to use Venom, despite the fact he isn't transformed anymore and has already been disarmed of his rings by this point. Really clutching the idiot ball hard.

"I can just say the word, and the rings will be destroyed." ...WHEN THE FUCK WAS THAT EVER ESTABLISHED YOU FUCKING IDIOT!? WHEN!? WHEN WAS THIS STATED!? "You'll be powerless." HE IS ALREADY POWERLESS!! YOU HAVE WON!!! JUST KNOCK HIM OUT AND HAND HIM OVER TO THE FUCKING COPS ALREADY!!! Also, the WAY she is saying this sounds like something a villain would say; just saying.

Seriously, even when she is phrasing her actions as good, you know freeing the Kwamis, undoing the harm Gabe has caused with the Ladybug Miraculous, and getting Plagg back to Chat Noir, the way she is talking right now, that is villain talk. The style of speech is just EERIE. Call me petty, but it just sounds disturbing the way she's monologuing; seriously, why the fuck are you wasting your words on this guy who has already established he is willing to burn down the world for his fucking selfishness.

"Everything will be back to normal." ...Somehow I doubt it.

And again, I must reiterate, WHY IS SHE WASTING HER WORDS ON HIM!?

"Except you will only have a few hours left to live." Yes, yes he will, BECAUSE OF HIS OWN FUCKING STUPIDITY. He WILLINGLY forced Chat Noir to hit him with a fatal attack, despite him having the perfect means of defending himself at the time; there is NO ONE BUT HIMSELF TO BLAME FOR HIS OWN DEATH.

"So does Nathalie, a victim of your madness." NO!! NO SHE IS NOT!!! SHE WAS HIS WILLING ACCOMPLICE FOR HER OWN SELFISHNESS, JUST LIKE HE WAS!!! NO ONE FORCED HER TO USE THE FUCKING BROKEN PEACOCK!! SHE CHOSE TO USE IT DESPITE KNOWING WHAT IT WOULD DO TO HER!!! GABE EVEN WARNED HER AGAINST USING IT!!!

And all while she is trying to "reach out to him" he's just staring at the fact that she's holding his hand with the one that has the Black Cat Miraculous on it. Nothing she is saying is effecting him at all, he is just waiting for her to give him a fucking opening. You can TELL he doesn't give a damn about what she's saying.

"And Adrien will be miserable." I mean, he'll have learned that his father, who has been abusing him emotionally for literal years, is a terrorist. Like, YOU are the fucking one who went out of her way to call out Gabe on clinging to the past while Adrien has moved on with his life; YES he is going to be upset that his dad is gone, NOTHING YOU DO CAN CHANGE THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! Bad things happen, and Gabe is a terrible father who Adrien probably despises by now. THIS is why Chat having been taken out by those stupid fucking "nightmares" is so obnoxious; Marinette is arbitrarily speaking on his behalf to his father, without any regard for what HE would want!! It's just like when she tried to talk up how much Gabe has "changed" when all that has "changed" was that he swapped one form of exploitation for another and he has even LESS free time now then he did back when he was a model, all by Gabe's design. Gabe is a terrible person; yes, Adrien would be sad at the loss of his father, because he's not a psycho, but NOTHING Gabe could say or do would make Adrien change his feelings about how Gabe has hurt him without any regret or restraint.

And what makes this all such a fucking joke is that they are describing Gabe's actions as "Madness," as if he wasn't fully aware of the consequences of his actions and choices. Because no; Gabe is fully, fucking sane. He is just a spiteful, petty, selfish asshole who doesn't give a shit who he hurts if he can get what he wants, even his own son. You don't need to be crazy to do shit like that, so trying to rationalize his selfishness as him being "insane" is an insult to the mentally ill. Grow the fuck up.

"If you meant what you said earlier, then we both want the same thing." Marinette, shut the fuck up; this is the guy who explicitly threatened your future, your CAREER, because HE can't stand the idea of anyone but HIMSELF choosing who Adrien will spend his life with. Heck, it was apparently something PRE-PLANNED. He NEVER gave a shit if Adrien would actually even LIKE Kagami that way, or if she would reciprocate; all it was was two awful older folks being awful.

Trying to appeal to his wife's memory isn't liable to work given that this entire fiasco was based on him IGNORING her wishes for his own selfish obsession, and he has kept Adrien alone and isolated long before she passed away. Why the hell are you giving this asshole the benefit of the doubt? Why the hell should you when he spelled out that he was fully intending to kill someone just to bring back his wife, and curse another person with THEIR eventual death in exchange for his own life, all while having trampled upon his son's autonomy? WHY DO YOU THINK YOUR WORDS ARE GONNA REACH THE GUY WHO HAS MADE FINDING A NEW LOW TO SINK TO HIS MISSION IN LIFE!?

(Inhales angrily) Put. The fucking. VIDEO. OF EMILIE. AWAY!!! IT WAS LITERALLY ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT GABE HAS ALREADY SEEN THEM AND CHOSE TO IGNORE THEM!!

Also, her describing creating her own son as a "mistake" is super classy. /s

And once again the video diaries pretending Nathalie wasn't fully complicit in keeping Adrien under his father's thumb and that she was never portrayed as close to Adrien EVER. And them acting like him "having his father" is such a big benefit despite the fact that Gabe has kept Adrien miserable LONG BEFORE EMILIE DIED. STOP TRYING TO PRETEND GABE WASN'T A SHIT FATHER LONG BEFORE HIS WIFE PASSED AWAY!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHE DIED LITERALLY LAST YEAR!!!

STOP CALLING WHAT GABE IS DOING MADNESS!!! MADNESS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU "GIVE UP!!" HE FULLY KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING, HE JUST DOESN'T CARE SO LONG AS HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS!!! It's telling that they are insisting that what Gabe is doing is an anomaly despite so much of the entire series going "no, this is how he's always been" and trying to act like him doing monstrous things is because he "isn't in his right mind," whereas when it's Chloe doing awful things "it's because she's a brat, nothing more." Funny, isn't it? /s

NO HE WOULD NOT!!! HOW COULD HE BE HAPPY BEING LOCKED UP INSIDE A HOUSE WITH NO FRIENDS TO TALK TO OR ANY CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE ON HIS OWN FUCKING TERMS!? YOU ARE BASICALLY SAYING THAT HE SHOULD BE KEPT IN A GILDED CAGE!!!

"Adrien has learned to live, and build his own happiness." Yeah, because he kept trying to escape the cage Emilie and Gabe BOTH PUT HIM IN. Losing someone is not this absolute, insurmountable obstacle in life; plenty of people lose loved ones every single fucking day, Gabe has long crossed the point where grief could explain his actions, and it does NOTHING to absolve him of literal YEARS of forcibly isolating Adrien from everyone around him. Seriously, him going to your class was HIS FIRST EVER DAY OF PUBLIC SCHOOL, OR ANY KIND OF SCHOOL OUTSIDE HIS OWN HOME. He "learned to live" by getting out from Gabe's thumb and escaping a prison he's been in for years by this point; Gabe's abuse is nothing new. His toxicity is nothing new. Emilie is not an explanation for his behavior; he has always been this monster before you.

"While cherishing the memory of his mother." He never even mentions her.

"I just can't live without her." Cool motive, still an abusive piece of garbage; if you actually cared about your son or your wife's legacy, you'd turn yourself over to the police for however long you have left.

"I loved her so much." Yet you apparently never gave much of a shit about your son, given that he's been kept trapped in your house for basically his entire life without any friends besides a girl he used to know when he was a small child, and forced to be a model, and exploited his image anyway even when he said he didn't want to be one.

The sketch-drawings of Adrien's childhood is kinda contrasted by the fact that you LOCKED HIM IN YOUR HOUSE HIS ENTIRE CHILDHOOD. Seriously, STOP GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BOTH KEPT HIM ALONE AND WITHOUT FRIENDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

"Adrien was not alone, he had Nathalie and me." No, he was still extremely alone since the two of you are adults who have jobs to do, yet you never once let him go out and have friends or live his own life.

I CANNOT REITERATE HOW FUCKING OBNOXIOUS THEM GLOSSING OVER ADRIEN'S FORCED ISOLATION IS.

There is a vast difference between not being very outgoing and thus not having a large circle of friends, and being deliberately KEPT from having ANY FRIENDS AT ALL. I am speaking from personal experience on this; seeing how the show is trying to romanticize Gabe's toxic as fuck behavior and ignoring how he has been abusing and neglecting Adrien long before Emilie died is fucking annoying. It is telling in all the worst ways that the only images we get of Adrien this scene are of his very early childhood, yet Emilie only passed away around a year ago.

"I've ruined everything." Yeah, who knew that grabbing the idiot ball in ways that are now costing you your life, alongside your accomplice doing similar, would have consequences?

"Adrien will have no one left!" He has. A fucking. GIRLFRIEND. One that YOU have gone out of your way to try and keep him from to forcibly pair him with someone he isn't into. That's hardly 'no one left.' Not even getting into all his other friends, all of which he made AFTER breaking out of the cage you shoved him in.

"I'm sure we can figure out a solution." THERE IS NO SOLUTION!!! YOU SAID AS MUCH YOURSELF, HE IS DYING!!! For FUCK'S SAKE, if "closure" means so much to you, just use Voyage to go to where Adrien is and have him apologize to his son for being such a bad father so that he can at least do SOMETHING in his final moments that means something!!!

Also, it's "funny" how utterly superfluous to the plot Tomoe is at this point; it's almost as if she was only brought in to give a reason for Gabe to try and shove Adrien in the direction of someone who isn't Marinette!

Marinette, he has barely a few hours left, and you just watched as part of his finger crumbled to dust. There is nothing that can be done in this situation; STOP BABYING THE TERRORIST.

SEE!? THIS IS MY EXACT POINT!! Even after she TRIED trying to talk him down, his first solution is have HER make the Wish!! He refuses to accept that there isn't something that can be done and that Emilie will probably NEVER FORGIVE HIM for what he's done up until now, or that no matter what 'impossible solution' she comes up with, someone ELSE will still have to suffer for it. The idea that HE HAS LOST refuses to click to him. He's beyond help.

I'm just gonna tune out what's being said until the inevitable betrayal occurs, otherwise I'm gonna blow a gasket. This is such bullshit.

Yup, she turned back to normal and, right after Plagg and Tikki warn her not to trust him (LISTEN TO THEM!!) he immediately Venoms her... somehow. Despite not actually being transformed and thus the Rings shouldn't work (how the fuck DO they work anyway!?).

After taking the Miraculouses, he orders Tikki and Plagg to "reveal themselves." Also, them being forced to obey him once again contradicting Marinette's claims THIS EPISODE about how as the Guardian SHE decides if someone can use a given Miraculous (apparently!!) or can just order the Miraculouses to break (APPARENTLY!!), and once again insisting that Kwami HAVE to obey their wielder ("Miracle Queen" says "Am I a joke to you?"). Fucking BULLSHIT!!!

And now... ugghh... the reveal of "Gimmi." Absolutely stupid as fuck name and color scheme aside, I've got nothing to say past my unshackled anger and loathing at this petty as fuck jackass getting away with his evil plans.

Once again the show proves unable to not try and make a bad joke out of what is supposed to be a serious situation. Seriously, we didn't need Gimmi to demonstrate the idea of a Wish requiring Balance by having them describe "garden peas to turn red, Strawberries would turn green."

"Marinette, make sure Adrien never learns about the villain that I was, and that instead, that he remembers the times I tried to be a good father." NO NO NO FUCKING FUCK NO!! FUCK THAT BULLSHIT!!! YOU HAVE NEVER TRIED TO BE A GOOD FATHER!!! YOU HAVE BEEN THE ABSOLUTE WORST FATHER IN THIS FUCKING SHOW TO DATE!! YOU HAVE ISOLATED HIM!! ABUSED HIM!! LIED TO HIM!!! TRIED TO DICTATE EVERY ACTION HE TOOK IN LIFE SO THAT IT WOULD FIT YOUR DISGUSTING NEED TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AROUND YOU!!! GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF AND DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND MAKE THE GIRL YOU HAVE THREATENED THE LIFE AND SAFETY AND HAPPINESS OF ACT AS YOUR PERSONAL STOOGE SO THAT YOU CAN ONCE AGAIN ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS YOU FUCKING COWARD!!!

"What do you wish for?" "Read my heart." "What do you sacrifice?" "Read my soul." ...[CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] WITH A FUCKING [CENSORED] WHILE [CENSORED]!!! GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING PUSSYFOOT AROUND HIS WISH, NOT AFTER FUCKING YANKING OUR CHAINS ALL THIS FUCKING TIME YOU ROTTEN BASTARDS!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO DO THAT!! YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT GET TO ACT AS IF THE SACRIFICE IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN PICK AND CHOOSE, SINCE NOTHING THE SERIES HAS DONE HAS INDICATED THAT THAT IS POSSIBLE!! Oh yeah, AND WE ALREADY HAVE IT ESTABLISHED THAT MAKING THE WISH ERASES THE UNIVERSE AND MAKES UP A NEW ONE!!!!

DON'T YOU JUST FUCKING LOVE HOW THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE BEING REBOOTED IS JUST GLOSSED OVER AND TREATED LIKE IT IS THIS HUNKY DORY GOOD TIME FEELING!? I DON'T!! I HATE IT!!! I HATE ALL OF THIS ENTITLED, SELF-SERVING BULLSHIT WHERE A FUCKING TERRORIST GOT AWAY SCOTT FREE FOR ALL HIS BS!!! I HATE EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!!

Oh, now here we are in the new reality with Marinette's clone kissing Adrien's clone awake! WRITERS THE STUPID AS HELL FAIRY TALE SYMBOLISM IS NOT FUCKING CUTE YOU ASSHOLES!!!

Then we get an infuriating scene of everyone acting like it's all a happy fun time, as if reality wasn't undone and remade at its seams. Then we get the start of a broadcast featuring Alec who looks... really different; and I don't just mean the hair. He's interviewing Miss Bustier, who SOMEHOW won the position to be Mayor. HOW!? She's apparently "completely changed Paris." Oh boy…

She describes her getting her position as a "revolution by the people of Paris that forced the Bourgeois' out of power." THAT IS NOT HOW RUNNING FOR MAYOR FUCKING WORKS!!! NOTHING WAS STOPPING PEOPLE FOR VOTING FOR A DIFFERENT MAYOR!!!

"The Eco Rule; It consists of very simple principles. Don't take more from the Earth then what it can give us, distribute its riches equitably, and don't pollute more than it can recycle." ...HOW THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO FUCKING WORK!?!? ON WHAT STANDARDS IS "MORE THAN IT CAN GIVE US" DETERMINED!? HOW ARE THEY BEING DISTRIBUTED AND WHAT DETERMINES THAT DISTRIBUTION!? AND MAYBE JUST DON'T POLLUTE AT ALL AND PROVIDE SERVICES MEANT TO FIGHT POLLUTION INSTEAD!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT IS JUST AUTO-ASSUMING THAT THIS "UTOPIA" IS JUST GOING TO FUCKING WORK WITH NO BUSINESSES FIGHTING IT OR OPPOSING IT ON ANY LEVEL!!!

"We've reorganized everything to remove the need for cars, wrappers, and it's been working great!" HOW!? HOW THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DOES ANY OF THAT WORK!?!? HERE IS A NEWS FLASH, MOST PEOPLE LIKE OWNING CARS AND TREAT IT AS A STATUS SYMBOL, SO EVEN IF YOU INCREASED PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION PLENTY OF PEOPLE WOULD DRIVE THEIR OWN CARS ANYWAY BECAUSE RELYING ON A FIXED TRANSIT IS NOT PRACTICAL!! I SHOULD KNOW AS I AM RELIANT ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION TO GET TO AND FROM WORK, AND I HAVE TO CUSTOM SCHEDULE RIDES BECAUSE IT ISN'T POSSIBLE TO USE THE NORMAL RUNS!!! AND GETTING RID OF WRAPPERS ISN'T PRACTICAL AS DOING SO WOULD MEAN GETTING RID OF NINETY PERCENT OF GOODS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE GO BAD IN THE OPEN AIR, OR GET PEOPLE SICK!!! IT WOULD BE MORE FEASIBLE TO SWITCH OUT WRAPPERS FOR MORE BIODEGRADABLE MATERIALS INSTEAD!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

"All the Alliance Rings that were Hijacked by Monarch have been recycled to design the statue in honor of the great Gabriel Agreste." GET THIS FUCKING SHIT OUT OF MY HEAD!!! HE WAS MONARCH ALL ALONG!! WHY DID YOU FUCKING COVER FOR HIM, MARINETTE!? WHY DID YOU LIE TO THE CITY, LETTING THEM BELIEVE THE MAN WHO HAS BEEN TORMENTING THEM FOR OVER A FUCKING YEAR FOR HIS OWN SELFISH STUPIDITY WAS SOME KIND OF FUCKING HERO!?? WHY!?!?

"Beyond a visionary entrepreneur, and a genius creator, it's the hero who we celebrate today." OH LOOK IT'S TOMOE, BITCH MOTHER OF THE YEAR RUNNER-UP AND MONARCH'S ACCOMPLICE!!! I know that Marinette SOMEHOW never found out Tomoe was Gabe's accomplice, but for FUCK'S SAKE WE NEVER EVEN LEARNED WHAT SHE EVEN WANTED FROM THE WISH IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! AND SHE IS ENABLING GABE BEING GLORIFIED AS A HERO!!! FUCK YOU BITCH!!!

"And tomorrow it's his legacy that I will continue on." WELL NOW ISN'T THAT AN OMINOUS AS FUCK STATEMENT FROM SOMEONE WHO FUCKING EMOTIONALLY ABUSES HER DAUGHTER!! Seriously, now would be the PERFECT moment to show Kagami cringing back and being comforted by her friends at the facade of compassion her mother is putting up to the world. TOO FUCKING BAD WE GET THIS SHIT INSTEAD!!!

"Why don't you tell us about this new school you've imagined?" "Oh, it isn't my school, but the result of a collaborative effort; in this new school, there will be no classes, or struggling to get good grades. Children of all ages will be able to intermix and freely access all kinds of activities. They'll be able to try their hands at everything, learn at their own pace, and help each other until they've figured out what they want to do later in life. This school will be their second home. Children are our future. If we want it to be bright, we must help each child to shine."

(Breathes in deep) To keep from screaming and possibly breaking a wall, I'm gonna break down this BS as fast as I can:

"No Classes" is a terrible fucking idea. The entire POINT of classes is that unless LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SCHOOL is self-motivated to learn, NO ONE IS GOING TO LEARN because you NEED to ensure that kids show up and are actually trying to learn.

"No grades" THAT is slightly more reasonable, as that is something that is done in some schools IRL, but I don't know the details, and all it does is compound the idiotic design of this place.

"All Age Groups intermix" THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA!!! Kids of different age groups typically have radically different interests and emotional experiences, having no set boundaries is a time bomb waiting to go off.

"All can freely access all kinds of activities." This is a mildly good idea, as many electives correlate to skills that can be genuinely valuable in life, or just plain a relaxing break... but it's the kind of thing you would still need an overall standard plan on what you are going to teach kids, not just "kids do whatever when they feel like it."

"They'll be able to try their hands at everything" This statement means nothing. It's literally just a platitude.

"They'll learn at their own pace." That is literally how learning works; the issue IRL is that schools follow curriculums that are designed to keep moving forward because stopping and making personal deviations for people who either can't keep up or are going too fast is impractical and doomed to make everything crawl to a stop; it's better just to have free and round the clock tutoring services designed to help kids approach lessons from a variety of different avenues until they find a way to learn that works best for themselves.

"They'll help each other until they figure out what they want to do later in life." I've said it once, I'll say it again THIS IS NOT SOME REVOLUTIONARY CONCEPT. This is LITERALLY how education basically already works and anyone who thinks that what they want to do in life NOW is what they are always going to want to do is an idiot, and that what they want to do may not even be possible due to the constraints surrounding it, it's just throwing meaningless shade at a nonexistent problem of schools 'forcing kids to choose early on in life.'

And the rest is just empty air. Fuck that.

"Ladybug gave it to me, she told me how my father helped her to defeat Monarch, at the cost of his life. I don't know if I'll ever manage to be like him." YOU SHOULD NOT WANT TO BE LIKE HIM!! HE WAS AN ABUSIVE PIECE OF FILTH WHO TREATED YOU LIKE SHIT AND KEPT YOU LOCKED UP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE FOR YEARS, INTERFERED WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE, AND LATER SUBJECTED YOU TO WHITE TORTURE!! MARINETTE, YOU HAVE GASLIT YOUR BOYFRIEND INTO IDOLIZING THE MONSTER WHO MADE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL!!! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR BULLSHIT PROMISE!!!!

"You don't need to be like him, just be yourself." That would be more touching if you weren't ACTIVELY LYING TO HIM ABOUT HIS FATHER'S IDENTITY AND RETROACTIVELY ENABLING THE ABUSE HE WENT THROUGH!!!

"You're the only one who can decide what to make of your life." Yeah, something his father DID NOT BELIEVE AS HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF HIS LIFE!!! SERIOUSLY WHY IS ADRIEN NOT MORE CONFLICTED OVER THIS!? HE KNOWS HIS FATHER WAS A FAILURE AS A PARENT AND A PIECE OF HUMAN TRASH, HIM "LEARNING" THAT HIS DAD APPARENTLY HAD A MORAL LINE HE WOULDN'T CROSS DOESN'T INVALIDATE ALL THE ABUSE HE PUT HIM THROUGH!!!

"You always find the right words, Marinette." NO SHE DOESN'T!! OFTEN HER WORDS JUST MAKE SHIT WORSE!!!

"When I'm with you, I feel so... free!" SINCE FUCKING WHEN!? IT IS REALLY IRONIC TO SAY THAT GIVEN THAT SHE IS TRAPPING YOU IN A CAGE OF LIES!!!

The whole "kiss scene" going on is ruined by the fact that Marinette is lying to Adrien and that Adrien never once was allowed proper closure for how much of a failure of a parent and an abusive piece of crap his dad is. This is a toxic shitstorm of gaslighting and mutually enabling toxic behaviors between the two of them.

Oh look, a news report where that scientist lady who created the Pigeon Dinos is on the screen, I wonder why she's the special guest being called up to talk about how crazy things have been, given that she's apparently someone who works with DNA.

Apparently Marinette SOMEHOW remodeled the Rings back into their original forms. I'm genuinely BAFFLED as to HOW, and I honestly think it could've been more interesting if they'd been kept as Rings with the heroes having to work out how to use them in their new configurations while Marinette has to research a way to get them back to normal in the next season... all except 2 1.

"Still no sign of the Miraculous of the Butterfly?" Hmm, given that the last ANYONE saw of it involved it falling into what I can only imagine is water that leads to the sewers after getting knocked off of Gabe's chest, I wonder WHY it's gone missing again!!!

Her saying that now all the heroes are responsible for their own Kwami is something that should've probably happened AROUND SEASON THREE, NOT SEASON FIVE!!! Also, really annoyed seeing all the Temp Heroes with the awed and overjoyed expressions at being reunited with their Kwami, considering they barely even KNOW the Kwami and didn't really have any emotional attachments to them, last I checked. The fact that fucking ARGOS is counted among the heroes is something I will NEVER forgive.

Damocles is sorting Paperwork and just got a voice message from a "mysterious new student" who is clearly Lila as she didn't even BOTHER DISGUISING HER VOICE. For fuck's sake, here we go again. SOMEHOW Lila got the Butterfly; Don't even FUCKING START WITH ANY "but she showed up at the Agreste Manor" BS!! She showed up to find a GIANT GAPING HOLE SEVERAL STORIES DEEP and there was a massive battle raging in Hawkmoth's lair and Marinette took out the Elevator, there IS NO POSSIBLE WAY SHE COULD'VE GOTTEN DOWN THERE AND GOTTEN THE MIRACULOUS AFTER IT FUCKING FELL INTO THE WATER!! IF SHE HAD MADE A DIVE FOR IT, THEY WOULD'VE HEARD HER!!! And it ends with some kind of energy portal opening up behind her. Why do I hate where that stupid cliffhanger is leaving off...?

And with that, I am FINALLY FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SEASON!!!

[rigelmejo]

Oh also, to hype up this app Smart Books even more (apparently its on app store as Parallel translations of books. Which. Yeah thats literally what it is and it's great:

So in this app, it shows book statistics. Which I'm always fascinated by. Here's my current stats for Guardian:

It shows how fast I'm reading in words per minute, how often I'm looking up words (caveat here that I keep clicking some words I know reading wise for pinyin pronunciation), shows my progress (4% is pathetic but also impressive considering I restarted today and the book is over 100 chapters). It shows how long I have read total and I'm happy to say the timer does NOT count when you minimize the app or switch to other apps with it still open, making the time read quite accurate (and really calling out my ADHD for taking a break from reading every 5-20 minutes ToT). And it shows estimated time to finish the book. Which is a feature I love in any reading app. And I have to say, personally? I am VERY motivated to see the estimated time go DOWN. So when I see it, it motivates me to kick up my reading speed, and remember fucking words so I don't slow down to look them up again. I like motivation, so I love the estimated reading time. And a fun fact about Guardian, the audiobook is around 55 hours if I remember correctly. So the closer I get to seeing that estimated remaining time go down to 55 hours, the closer I'm getting to spoken reading speed! I've already improved a lot as when I started reading it estimated 98 hours, now after a bit of reading its estimating 72 hours. Huge improvement. (And yes, if you load a Chinese novel in this app you'll be hit by the reality a fuck ton of Chinese web novels are from 20 hours for SHORT SHORT ones to 100+ hours to read... for a fast reader). For comparison, I'm also reading 坏小孩 which is only 124k words compared to Guardian at 304k words... and 坏孩子 is estimating ill finish reading it in 28 hours (I think it's audiobook is 20 hours so that's at spoken reading speed).

And Guardian word statistics:

This fun word statistics area lists the words by order of how often they appear, so its great for if you want to pre-study vocabulary for a book. Or if you want to review common words in it. Or if you're curious how MANY fucking unique words are in a book. Fun fact, 坏小孩 has around 8000 unique words, compared to Guardian's 16,740 unique words. Despite this, I find 坏小孩 harder cause apparently of my lexicon of Chinese words I know how to read, it's mostly words priest uses. And the 坏小孩 author uses a word I am not familiar with about every 20 words ;-; to be fair, Guardian leans heavier into case investigatkom stories/supernatural which is the bulk of Other novels I've read too. Whereas 坏小孩 has many more every day words for card games, school, building descriptions, orphanages, which I do not read about as much.

Anyway my point is: this app is free and pretty dang useful if you're trying to read a language you're learning. It generates parallel texts!

[ftalos]

[Renascent Chronicles] Portalcraft Cards: First impressions.

Renascent chronicles’ cards are up!

Now we got more time for pre-launch analysis and the set looks fun. I like the focus of this set: Epilogue’s of the Isunia, Naterra and Aiolon stories, with some of the card texts expanding their lore. Yes, I really love the story mode and I’ll read all of the flair texts.

And the cards themselves aren’t bad; machina and natura traits are back in a way that won’t restrict deck building, every deck got a new playstyle that won’t kill the previous ones… well, except for those strong decks at the end of the Darkness over Vellsar expansion. Gremory is rotating out, forcing shadows players to find new ways to make big boards without losing lots of shadows… Will Chris still be an option, or will everybody shift to Machina combos? Portalcraft is losing a lot of support too, most of the artifact cards that started the paradigm shift playstyle are leaving rotation, hindering those decks, with Syntonization the biggest hit as the card was so versatile. Although Resonance/Magna Zero Portalcraft is still strong (I can’t believe how good it got during the mini expansion thanks to Absolute Tolerance, got me 4-1 in A Finals), new robots and my favorite boss are coming up to change the game.

So yeah, let’s check out the new cards.

(Click on their names to check the cards)

Legendary Cards:

Maisha, Purgation’s Vessel: Have you ever been so biased you shift the order you read cards to start with your favorite villain? This card is simple and amazing, her fanfare is a great removal tool at every stage of the game and will also greatly reduce Absolute Tolerance’s cost for early threats, but the best part is her evolution effect: the same effect she got through her token spell is back, now restricted for having 8 remaining play points that she won’t even consume. As great as always, some new cards will also aid us portal players to get evolution points in the late game; but, as I don’t know how easy it will be to get there, I’ll rate her as a 4/5.

Belphomet, Ultimate Creator: This guy is so great he even came back with his own skin. For just 1 Play Point higher than his last iteration, fusing cards one at a time will pay you back in the form of armored and assault tentacles, and playing him having fused at least three cards on him creates a board of himself and his furies, who also got new and stronger versions. The Megaera token, in special, recovers you on Evolution Point, synergizing great with Maisha and, given your opponent has to deal with Belphomet and his furies, builds an overwhelming threat in the late game. 4/5.

Gold Cards:

Mega Enforcer: A Machina follower that draws you one card, deals 4 damage on evolution and recovers the Evolution point he used if you have 3 Machina cards in hand. Allows you to play with resonance for some possible Magna Zero clears on turn 7 (I might be onto something here, I will have to test tho), but the best part is it recovers you Play Points for Maisha and Evo playstyles, though this one hasn’t been starving for evopoints. 5/5

Nefarious Invasion: This card seems good in a vacuum, it helps you deal with the pesky early aggression, and its enhance opens up for mid/lategame plays and control; but I think it will be the first one to be fused into Belphomet except against sword and shadowcraft. 3.5/5

Silver Cards:

Threadsnipper puppet: Puppet/rally support! By herself is a 1/2 but she also let’s you play one puppet that won’t leave the board, upping your rally count and your board presence. A reminder that Maisha used to win thanks to puppets, Threadsnipper and stringmaster are your go-to’s when playing rally/destruction portal. 4/5

Enforcer: Silver Machina follower that has rush and puts two machina cards into your hand, this card is really good as a removal tool and as an enabler of your Belphomet Fusions in case you want to save your other machina cards. 5/5

Dual Swords of Longing: Yes, more Maysia, let’s go. A spell that adds two token spells to your hands and can reduce their costs. Both spells are great removal tools, raising the control options Maisha and Belphomet need to reach lategame.4/5

Bronze Cards:

Iron Hero: This guy can deal with board, up the rally and destroyed followers count as puppets do, but with 1 pp cost each time; overall a nice addition in certain decks, that enhance made me laugh, though, I will definitely try to make it work.  3.5/5

Plucky Coil Wrangler: Listen, I think this card is bad. I love her accelerate and the fact golems are still alive thanks to her, but I am not sure about the state of artifacts after WUR leaves rotation and her high cost. I would definitely draft her in take two, though, and a part of me expects me to be wrong about her strength as I was with Double Arm Mechanic in my last review. 2/5

Tiniest Tank: LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE UNIT. He’s quite expensive, and his way of upping the rally count is behind Last Words effects, but you gotta love that art and the fact he summons an Automaton Knight. 1/5

Unnamed determination: MORE. MAISHA. ART. I don’t think destroying 10 followers or more will be difficult to achieve during this expansion (I know there’s a lot of banish around, but where Last Words Shadow could, Portal will), so I really believe this spell and the silver one will see a lot of play, draw two cards and recover one evolution point is really good to let it pass. 5/5

Overall, the new cards are good without making the deck building too restrictive except for Machina decks who need to fill as much slots as possible with the trait (good thing Magna Zero exists), I’m really hyped for this expansion and the state of portalcraft in it, even if it stops being top tier, because I love Maisha a lot. Besides my main classes (Portal, Haven and a bit of Forest), some other playstyles I’d like to tamper with are Machina Shadowcraft and Natura dragon, Valdain makes me forget my hate for dragoncraft.

And let’s hope haven’t run out of luck after getting Laramia and Spinaria this month, I’d like the Belphomet Skin (It’s not the Aiolon Belphomet, but he’s alright). Stay on.

[keepinventory]

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[millennium-puzzle]

Ok so overral review:

All voices are EXCELLENT, as i said no one's voice is exagerated and everyone sound really natural unlike 4kids

Sadly maybe too much natural as most male characters' voices are kinda unrecognizable from eachother (except Bakura who desperatly needs cough syrup)

As for females, they are incredibly nostalgic, SPECIALLY TEA! her VA pretty much voiced almost every female anime lead from the 90s/00s, Mai and Serenity were also popular choices, even tho this kinda made me realize probably there weren't many female VA back then 🤔

This is 100% a comedy show now btw

YM calls EVERYONE "buddy" and "dear friend" with the smuggest intonation humanly possible

"When you see my father, bring me this message from myself, say to him i will never thank him enough for generating me! AHAHAH"

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS DUB

YM and Mai just said "good luck!" and "you too, ladies first though" with the most sincere tone i can't even

Mai's cleveage and boobs are 100% uncensored

Mask Des Bondage Woman isn't censored either despite being VERY FAR from family-friendly....

Also just FYI italian YM is the fusion of a trollface and Lava Golem because he is snarky as hell and everything he says is a burn

Mai: Ok Marik you had a couple of lucky hands, but now you are done, things are about to change

YM: Exactly 😏, more than you could ever image 😏

Trash son

Occasionally YM says something really badass tho.... i love him

YY immediatly realized that Tea was eraesed from Mai's memory somehow?

They always call him Seto, never Kaiba, i guess it makes the dialogue more natural

Yami's voice has amazing Cool Big Bro vibes and i'm HERE FOR IT

The dub is way less shippy abt polar and it still makes Mai's struggles and friendless angst feel so real

THE DUB REMEMBERS AND MAKES YM CALL OUT YY FOR USING HIS MP POWERS JUST LIKE YM AND YB

I stan whoever wrote his dialogue

Crosses and religious symbols aren't censored either

Rewatching this duel made me realize that Mai really hold herself well, YM still stands out for having a real strategy rather than everyone's else "i mixed some cards i really like and that's now my deck" but Mai still has strong cards and multiple tricks up her sleeves

Mai briefly hyping up her beloved harpie sisters 🥺

I wish the anime recognized that Mai could have won if she used them and said something like "she was like Icarus..... she wanted to touch the sun but she got burned" but i don't think they even realized it ensjwneiwiwj

"You can't read the text on Ra's card? Oh well i will gladly read it for you"

YOU ASS

They upgraded middle-class icon Yami Marik to "nobilty" buuuuuuuuu

Also he is just straight-up SPOILING the story by saying not only Seto but "many people" here are connected to Ancient Egypt

"Instead i rebelled! I couldn't stand anymore being the servant of someone that was never present! Why should i renunce my life to continue serving a royal that died (yes they use those words) 5000 years ago?!"

Oh shit, thanks the dub for spelling out YM's motivation

Also rewatching this reminded me that YM does wants to destroy the world to "rebuild a new one" too, a world where everything is destroyed and dark, his personal utopia, cool stuff

Joey...Mai... you are about to die it's not time to be sassy...

YM: now i will go to control the damage, and provoke some more~

HE IS THE DEFINITION OF "I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE

I'm going to see the italian dub of YM and Mai so i can discover a new emotion again