#I'm thinking about those school trips I wanted to go on in hs

[pinolitas]

I think there should be a lot more scholarships out there that are purely need based bc I can't write 😐

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

have you ever had to cut ties with friends, especially bi female friends, over homophobia? i lost my entire friend group and community recently because of this. it was just online, but i don't have friends in person right now. i don't feel depressed about it anymore, i just wonder if other lesbians have had the same experience. you're right that us gold stars need to speak up and be visible. i'm working on making lesbian centric art and stories while i have time to myself now.

Hi anon!

Yes I have and I think a lot of lesbians can relate. We first become friends with bi women because we think they are like us because we are all attracted to women, but a lot of bi women are lesbophobic and treat ssa as some crazy phase that you're supposed to grow out of. Obviously that's going to destroy some friendships. In my case, I've been friends/acquaintances with over a dozen bi women and I stopped talking to almost all of them. A few examples:

High-school friend who had a crush on me and said her love for me gave her an eating disorder (as a way to guilt-trip me into dating her), started dating a guy one month after I rejected her and bragged to me about watching lesbian porn with him

Two other high-school friends turned extremely lesbophobic and bullied me

Another hs friend married a man very young, became some sort of catholic fundamentalist and ranted against same-sex marriage on social media

College friend who harassed me for months to get me to have sex with her to "experiment", only for her to stop talking to me and publicly call me a dyke when I told her I could be ok with kissing her (it would have been my first real kiss and she knew it...)

Long-time internet friend I met IRL, she flirted with me while she had a boyfriend (I wasn't interested in her) and wrote a story about a self-proclaimed "dyke" having a lot of orgasms with a random dude on a one-night-stand (while she has a girlfriend who's fine with it) but still claiming to hate it because she finds men annoying and clingy

(Also special mention to a het friend who used me as her "I can't be homophobic I have a gay friend" excuse while she ranted against same-sex marriage online, my last message to her on social media was to publicly tell her she was homophobic and I was embarrassed to be her friend ✌️)

All of that to say that I can definitely relate haha That's cool that you're starting to reach out to gold stars here though, that way you can make new online friends and forget about those idiots :D

Anyway, I can't wait to see and read what you'll make! Some time ago I created a discord server for gold stars who want to share their art/writing/etc and possibly create things together, it's dormant right now so I hope to find some active members 💪

[samsspambox]

(⌒▽⌒)☆ hi sam! So 4 the 2 truths & 1 lie I think the lie is the aerospace one just bc, & the other ask game, I think a fic I'd wish youd write about(sorry if Im wrong I dont remember) anything that has gwendolyn in it I love her so much( ´ ▽ ` ) or maybe ur interpretation of Artems old beta card where it looks like mc is leaving him in the rain, that's all have a good day! (About the last I sent in in the dead of night haha sorry (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

hi cutie!! how you been?? god those asks were a trip and a half to find but i found them!!

actually the lie is being able to see jwst before launch and that they all happened in high school!

the aerospace firm one DID happen when i was in hs (i had to be escorted by security for an interview it was so cool) but happened mostly bc they got back to me late. i've written some base code but that happened in my first year of college! was fun lmaoo

i am slightly salty that i didn't get to see jwst when some of my peers did get to,,, but my childhood friend gave me a pin they stole from there so eh fuck it LOL

as for the fic ask! i can give you some bullet points rq!! god gwen was so fun to write maybe i should make a sequel

i'm pretty sure the first order of business for vyn once gwen gets freed of all legal bindings would be to celebrate

the rest of the nxx would definitely be on board with it too!! they do ask gwen what she wants tho and well... she's never been to an arcade before

so they go to a dave and busters-esque place (which is basically just a big arcade with adult level games)

artem makes them all eat his dust at the basketball free throws

vyn and gwen get stupid high scores in ddr and somehow get a crowd around them

racing games are luke's dominion and fucking dominates them all

marius and lyra get really competitive in the ball drop games but they're not good at them lolol

marius somehow finds a way to finance the whole trip even though everyone doesn't want him to

they all pitch in and give gwen their tickets and she picks the gaming console which has everyone very surprised but they brush it off quickly

they end up taking photo booth pictures in the end

very found family of them but also they get to know gwen better too 🥺

thank you for the ask!!! i hope you have a really good day!!!

[sunflower-swan]

Not fandom related. TW for Covid content. I just need to put this out there.

...

...

...

One year ago this week...

Wednesday, March 11, 2020: My HS Choir sang the national anthem at the opening game of the state basketball tournament. We had lunch on Mass Street. My Mom came to see me and have lunch together. Dad was busy with farm stuff. My kids were excited to meet my Mom. On our way home we visited the capital building because they had never seen it before.

Thursday, March 12, 2020: HS Music trip to St. Louis cancelled. We were supposed to leave in a week. The kids had been fundraising for a year. We still haven't taken this trip. I'm hopeful for next year.

Friday, March 13, 2020: All of my groups had fantastic rehearsals. We were on the right path to having another great contest season. I told my kids I would see them Monday. We had four more days until Spring Break.

Sunday, March 15, 2020, around 5pm: Schools in my state shutdown until further notice.

Sunday, March 15, 2020, around 5:15pm: Calls and texts from crying and hysterical seniors who just lost all of their lasts. Who had been practicing their solos for months because this was going to be the year they received top marks at state music. Who had their final day with their band and/or choir family and they didn't know it at the time.

And then...

November 2020: A staff member tests positive. I was sitting next to them in a meeting the day before. We were both wearing masks and socially distanced. I was not quarantined.

Also November 2020: Three of my students test positive. I sit next to one of them during band rehearsal the day before. We were socially distanced and I'm not quarantined.

Still November 2020: My BIL tests positive. Sister and kids are quarantined. Family Thanksgiving is cancelled. We'll get together for Christmas.

Day after Thanksgiving 2020: My Uncle calls me to say he was in the hospital a few weeks ago for Covid. My Uncle never calls me. I probably hadn't talked to him in... A year? It was nice to talk to him but apparently thinking you're going to die changes a person.

A week before Christmas 2020: My Dad and his parents admitted to the hospital for Covid. My Dad and Grandma come home. My Grandpa does not... He passes away on New Years Eve. We did not have family Christmas.

Two weeks ago: We made an impromptu visit to see my family. It did not suck as much as I expected it to, to be at my grandparents house. It was the first time had seen them in person in four months. My Grandma is having surgery to remove her thyroid soon. When she was in the hospital for Covid the doctors found early stage cancer.

It has been a real turd of a year for everyone. For educators I feel like it has had an extra special suck. In my classroom (band & choir), kids are literally projecting their breath forcefully into the air. Kinda scary in an environment where kids are often unknown carriers of a dangerous virus that is transmitted through droplets expelled from one's mouth.

In August, when I found out my school was going completely in person with no mask requirement, I did some serious soul searching for a couple of days. In the end, I took the gamble that if I got sick, odds where good that I would feel lousy for a week or two but ultimately be ok. If I wasn't at school, then my kids would not be able to play their instruments or sing, and what's the point in being in music if you can't do those things?

I still feel like that was an unfair choice I was forced to make. The choice between my future health and my students education. For many kids, their elective classes get them out of bed and at school every day. A couple of teachers chose to teach remotely. I'm glad they had that option. The way I looked at it, if I wanted my program to survive beyond this year, and I did, then I had to be at school.

Not gonna lie, that first month of school was rough on me. I hadn't been around anyone other than close family in about six months. I went to the store a couple times with my husband early in the spring. Apparently I don't hide my fear as well as I think I do because we got home and he said that he wouldn't make me do that again. And he hasn't, bless him.

Except... Our weekly trips to the store were fun. We don't really go out so that was our time together outside of home. And we lost that. He still does the shopping on his own. It's the only time he leaves the house other than when we walk the dogs in the evening. (His job allows him to work from home.)

Which brings us to today. I got my second Covid shot on Friday. Saturday I spent the day in bed. I didn't feel "bad" I was just too exhausted to do anything. Yesterday I felt better but still kinda tired. I don't like needles or shots, and the thought of receiving an emergency vaccine really scared the hell out of me.

Teachers in my state were part of group two, right after senior citizens and health care workers, to have the chance at the vaccine. Some of my colleagues chose to opt out. In the end I decided to get it because my Grandpa couldn't. He was gone before it was an option.

And then my Dad sends me this picture this morning:

I was probably about six years old here. And that's my Grandpa helping me ride a bike.

Tell your loved ones you love them every chance you get. Don't take a single second for granted.

...

This ended up way longer than I expected it to be. When I started it was just going to be what happened a year ago. And then it sorta snowballed into everything from the past year. If you've made it this far, well, congratulations I guess. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[soup-crime]

Rant ahead

God this fucking sucks. I really fucking need irl friends and shit so I can actually go out instead of sitting on my ass doing fuck-all on my computer but to get friends I need to go out more but the only people I have any real opportunities to go out with are my sibling and their kid. No offence to the kid. I love her she's great but when every excursion is us going to the store and then maybe to a park and the entire time basically everything is revolving around the nearly 3-year-old. Whenever we do go out, I'm nervous/anxious any time we are around other people cause I always try to present feminine but I can't do it very well at all since I have barely any of the right clothes and my boobs are too goddamn small for anyone to actually notice a VAST majority of the time and also if I talk the whole thing is ruined anyway since I have spent zero time doing voice training despite my want to and I feel like if I talk then either I'm gonna fuckin die (unlikely) or people will just think I'm some weird guy in some girl's clothes and then the whole 'illusion' is ruined and I hear people talking about "that guy over there" and it makes me sad and disappointed and regretting the whole trip out. And I can't really do anything about those problems because I don't have the money to buy more feminine clothing, or buy food that I will/can eat so I can actually get calories that will make it so my boobs can grow at all, or get appointments with a professional for voice training (and its not like there's anyone in my area who does that anyway) cause I don't have the self-discipline to do it myself. My only source of income is my sister giving me $70 to watch her dog for the weekend like once a month and I always have to spend that on cat litter/food and gas (I can't get unemployment cause I left my previous job cause I was moving). I know I need a job but every ounce of some part of my brain brick-walls me whenever I try to do anything about my unemployment. Resumes are hard and I don't have any real skills and I don't do anything and I don't want to work at a place where I would have to interface with the public for reasons similar to why I hate going out. And the few resumes I have turned in got me nowhere despite me turning them in to place that are desperate for workers cause no one actually wants to hire anyone anyway.

So I end up hiding in my room all day hoping the next time I go out, something great will finally happen like I get offered a job that I can actually do or I meet someone and we end up friends suddenly, neither of which is likely to happen in any situation that isn't from a movie or someshit. My life feels endlessly empty because of situations that I probably could end up doing something about if I was a stronger person. This feels worse than High School. Yeah in HS I never went out with people and I never got any of the life experience having a group of friends will give you and I always felt like I was missing out on all the things I would never get the chance to do again and the things that I should be doing at that age and the things I should always be able to do if I have friends to do shit with, but in HS at least I had a place to be and do shit and feel needed (I was a very good tuba player for the school band) nearly every day. Nowadays I don't get that. I am trapped in my bedroom because I don't have the resolve to get a job to solve all my problems. I don't want to get help filling out a resume or anything like that cause I always need help with things because I don't have any real experience and I feel useless when I have to ask someone to help me do something I don't know how to do that I would have known how to do if I weren't a goddamn coward. Like I could maybe have had friends in HS if I actually tried. I felt like I couldn't because I'd been in the same school district my whole life so everyone there already knew me and probably remembered the stupid things I did when I had less self-control in elementary and middle school and that was a lame person who no one liked. But all of that isn't necessarily true. I'm sure I would have been fine. No one really treat me with any real animosity as far as I could tell past my freshman year or so (the seniors those years were terrible. I barely did anything and apparently that meant I looked like I was the one responsible for the school shooting threat)

I have a few online friends (All here on Tumblr except one who I grew up with in my hometown) and they always say shit like 'come and talk to me if you ever need to' but I don't want to take them up on it because since I am absolute dogshit at initiating contact so I feel like I'll only ever contact them when I'm feeling sad and that all our conversations will be just bummerfests and I'm terrible at conversations anyway so I might end up turning any conversations that either of us start into me complaining which is not a good way to keep a friend. And I have so many problems that I'm always gonna have something to complain about.

If I ever tried to open all this up for real to an actual person, they might want to try and help. And I make helping me quite the endeavor. I'm always complaining and thinking of problems to suggested solutions and am just so used to people's help not working at all because I grew up while having ADHD or something and I couldn't do stuff and adults were always trying to suggest solutions that only neurotypical people could make actual use of and so apparently that means any time anyone tries to help their help is gonna be something that doesn't work at all and I'm unwilling to try according to my brain

Whatever. Sorry this is terribly formatted and unreadable. Its a rant what do you want me to do. There's probably more I could say and more context I could give that I can't remember but I am tired and out of steam so I'm just gonna cut it off here.

[thebloggerbloggerfun]

Hello! I have an idea for the ficlet (feel better btw!). Okay: HS AU with popular!Dean and popular!Cas, they're those two annoying guys who make funny (but also obnoxious) comments in every single class, and make stupid, flirtatious remarks to each other like "Cas looks pretty hot today guys" or "I'm totally dating Dean, everyone" etc. Only thing is, they're secretly in love, but neither will admit it. I've had this idea for a while and I'd LOVE for a talented author to execute it.

Aaaahhh it’s been too long since I’ve done a High School AU and I’ve missed it. Thanks for this one and thanks so much for asking me to fufill the prompt! I hope I do it justice :)

AO3

“Please take your seats quickly. I want to discuss your quiz scores so we can go over any questions you may have before the final test.” Ms. Mills said with a stack of papers clutched against her chest.

Dean stretched his arms above his head as he flopped into his usual seat on the third row, next to the wall so he could lean up against it in times of extreme laziness. He sprawled out accordingly, dropping his backpack to the floor and draping his letterman jacket over his seat until the air conditioning kicked in during the middle of class like it usually did.

“Hey, hot stuff.” Dean said with a nod as Castiel sat down in the seat next to him.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel said, barely looking up as he aligned his binder and world history book neatly on the small desk in front of him.

“How was that student council thingy yesterday?” Dean asked, popping a piece of gum into his mouth.

“Absolutely dreary without your shining personality to brighten all of our days,” Castiel murmured, completely straight-faced.

Dean winked as Ms. Mills began talking again.

“Some of you need to look at your notes from the beginning of the year again,” she said as she began passing back the quizzes. “And some of you need to remember that - if you want full credit on the final test - the answer to ‘What are the seven wonders of the ancient world’ is not ‘Castiel Novak’s Ass’ written seven times.”

She frowned when she got to Dean’s desk, dropping the paper on his desk as the rest of the class laughed.

Dean clicked his tongue and made a finger gun at Castiel with another wink.

“Really, Dean? Don’t be childish.” Castiel said, just loud enough for everyone to hear. “We all know that’s not true. I haven’t done any squats in at least a month.”

Dean hummed as he leaned back in his seat, obviously inspecting Castiel’s rear end. “Hmmm. Doesn’t show.”

“If you two are quite finished -” Ms. Mills rolled her eyes and made her way back up to the front of the room and rested a hand on her hip. “Now, did anyone have any questions on anything that you’d like to go over?”

Dean leaned forward and raised his hand.

“Besides you.”

Dean let his hand drop to rest above his heart in a faux-wounded position.

“Ms. Mills. I’m shocked and offended that you would deny me my right to receive an education. I wouldn’t dare waste your time with trivial questions.”

Ms. Mills raised an eyebrow.

“Mmhmm. What’s your question.”

“I noticed that you maked me down on question twelve? We had to name one of the causes of Enlightenment?”

“Again, the answer is not ‘Castiel Novak’s Ass’.”

The class broke out into laughter again as Dean leaned back in his chair and did - yet another - finger gun at his best friend.

“You can pay me after class,” Dean said teasingly.

Castiel nodded seriously.

“Cash or credit?”

The laughter finally died down, ending with a long sigh from the front of the classroom.

“… anyone else have any questions?”

***

Dean leaned back against the wall with the rest of their gym class while Castiel and Meg, who had been elected by Bobby (who’d be damned if any of the students called him Mr. Singer) stood up front, picking teams for dodgeball.

“Ruby,” Meg said with a lazy wave, and Ruby skipped over to stand next to her.

Dean smirked as Castiel pretended to survey the rest of the group before pointing at directly and predictably at Dean.

“I guess I’ll take that fine specimen over there.”

Dean flexed as he practically pranced over to his friend, posing next to him while the rest of the class either chuckled or rolled their eyes.

“Raphael.”

“Anna.”

“Abaddon.”

“Jo.”

The choosing continued until there was no one left and both teams had made their way over to their prospective sides for a pre-game huddle.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Dean said in as loud of a whisper as he dared. “When the whistle blows, Cas, you stay behind and I’ll run ahead so that you can stare at my ass.”

Jo snorted.

“C’mon, Dean. Be serious -”

“No, no,” Castiel interrupted, holding up his hand. “He has a point. I think it’s a worthy sacrifice.”

“You guys are ridiculous.”Jo said, shaking her head. “Anyway, I think we should all run for it and damn the consequences.”

Castiel nodded along as Jo spoke.

“Yes. In all seriousness, Jo’s correct. As team captain, I think that we all should do whatever we can to get our hands on those balls.”

“Cas, you know you can always get your hands on my -”

“Shut the fuck up, Dean,” Jo said in exasperation.

***

Dean stripped off all of his football gear and took a quick shower before running back outside to the bleachers where Castiel usually met him after practice. He didn’t always stick around after school, but when Cas had student government stuff after, he’d watch what was left of Dean’s practices as they tended to go longer.

“How was practice?” Castiel asked, snapping his book closed and hopping off the bleachers to fall in step with Dean.

“Same old, same old,” Dean said, tugging up his shirt to rub at his damp hair. “Coach yells, we run, Lucifer trips Michael, and Benny tries to set me up on a date.”

Castiel tucked his book under his arm and nodded. “Sounds exciting. And you said?”

“That all a man will ever need is a cool drink of water like yourself.” Dean placed a hand over his own heart, bowing his head in reverence.

“A good answer,” Castiel said, nodding in his approval as they neared Dean’s car. “So, what’s your mom making for dinner tonight?”

“The best goddamn mashed potatoes you’ll ever have.”

“Wonderful.” Castiel grinned as he opened the Impala’s passenger side door and slipped inside. “I’m starving.”

They drove the ten minute drive to Dean’s house with the radio turned all the way up, singing the lyrics of various love songs to each other as dramatically as they could, with Castiel reminding Dean to watch the road as needed.

“Mom!” Dean shouted as he opened the front door. “Do we have enough food for a plus one?”

He dropped his backpack and stripped his shoes at the front door, watching Castiel do the same.

“Of course!” he heard from the kitchen. “Who’d you bring?”

“Adonis reincarnate.”

“Dean, you know Castiel is always welcome.” Mary said, and poked her head out from behind the doorframe. “Hello, Cas.”

“Hi, Mrs. Winchester.” Castiel waved before turning to Dean with a raised eyebrow. “Adonis reincarnate, huh? That’s a new one.”

Dean grinned.

“Only the best for you, babe.”

***

“Listen, Dean.”

Dean looked up from where he was shoving all of his clean laundry into its respective drawers while Cas lay on his bed.

“Yeah?”

Castiel’s hands drummed on his stomach.

“I was thinking… what if we went on a date?”

Dean paused and turned completely around, a pair of boxer shorts still in his hand.

“What?”

Castiel propped himself up on his elbows and licked his lips.

“You know. A…. date. You and me. Doing something together.” Dean watched Castiel pause and clear his throat. “Would you want to?”

Dean tilted his head and let a slow smile creep across his lips.

“Cas, I think that’s an amazing idea.”

Castiel’s mouth fell open, and an even wider grin split his face.

“Wait - really? You think?”

“Absolutely! You’re a genius! People will think that’s hilarious!”

Dean burst out laughing at the thought of everyone’s faces at school when they found out. It would really be the icing on the top of the cake for a lot of people. Not only would they flirt with each other at every opportunity, but now an actual date? Incredible.

“Right. Yeah.”

Dean glanced over at Castiel, who was looking away, his smile nearly gone.

“No, it really will be funny! Jo will probably die laughing. It’s a great idea, Cas.”

Castiel chuckled, but even that sounded forced, like he no longer found his idea funny.

“Thanks,” he murmured, flopping back down on the bed and staring out the window.

Weird.

Still, even though it would be a joke, the idea of going on a date with Cas… it was nice. Nicer than he’d thought it would be.

Not that he’d ever…you know.

Thought about that.

“So, what did you want to do for it?” Dean asked, though he already had a list of possibilities that he was running through. Dinner and a movie was up there at the top of the list, just because of how incredibly cliche it was.  

“I don’t care,” Cas mumbled, picking up his book again and turning to his bookmark. “You decide.”

Dean tossed the boxers into his top drawer and rubbed his hands together.

This was going to be the best date of his life.

***

It was not the best date of his life.

It was…okay. Very average, if he had to make a guess.

Definitely by no fault of Dean’s, he finally decided. He was making sure to go out of his way to be especially flirtatious with Castiel on their date by holding doors open, being more touchy-feely than usual, and absolutely drowning him in pet names.

Cas, however, wasn’t playing off of him as well as he usually did.

“Here you are, sunshine,” Dean said, opening the passenger door for Castiel with a flourish. “I hope you enjoyed the meal.”

“Thanks,” Castiel said, sliding into the seat and shutting the door himself, nearly wrenching it from Dean’s grasp.

Dean pressed his lips together as he walked over to the other side of the car to let himself in.

“You doing okay?” he asked and started the car, sparing a glance over to Castiel.

Castiel let out a breath and shot him a quick smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yes. I’m fine. Just a little tired, I think.”

“Oh, okay.” Dean drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove, the silence making the drive a little more awkward than it usually was.

“And here we are,” Dean said cheerfully when they stopped in front of Castiel’s house. “Home sweet home.”

Castiel smiled and leaned his head back on the head rest. “Well, thanks Dean. It was a fun date. We should - what are you doing?”

Dean paused in the middle of opening the driver’s side door.

“Um, walking you to your front door, of course.”

“Oh,” Castiel ducked his head and the dim lighting made it almost look like Castiel was blushing. “Dean, you don’t need to do that. I think I can find my way on my own.”

Dean scoffed and shook his head, as if the very thought of such an act wounded his honor.

“What kind of gentleman would that make me? Please.” he winked and quickly shut the door behind him to get to the other side of the car before Castiel opened the door. “It’s my pleasure.”

Castiel looked up at him as Dean opened the car door, and Dean’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat.

Oh. Well.

He’d probably just had a little too much fun pretending to be on a date with him, is all. It was just muscle memory for him by now.

Castiel climbed out. Dean shut the door. The two of them walked up to Castiel’s porch.

Just like they would do on a real date.

“Again, thank you, Dean. It was fun.” Castiel said, smiling at him from just a foot away.

“Are you gonna leave me without a goodnight kiss?”

Dean wasn’t sure why he said it, probably because that’s what he did at the end of every date, but the moment it was out of his mouth he knew there was no taking it back. Part of him wasn’t even sure that he wanted to.

Castiel’s lips pulled into slight frown, and Dean realized that’s where he’d been staring for quite some time now.

“What?”

“You know. Goodnight kiss.” Dean pointed to his own lips with a smile.

“Why?” Castiel was squinting now, like he usually did when he didn’t understand something the teacher was saying or when he was working out a math problem.

“To like, make the date official. It’ll be funny.” Dean shrugged.

Castiel’s frown deepened.

“No.Goodnight, Dean.”

“Oh, come on, Cas!” Dean reached out and rested a hand on his forearm as Castiel turned away to open the door to his house. “It won’t mean anything. Just a kiss so we can tell people we did!”

Dean could see Castiel’s grip on the doorknob tighten minimally, and when Castiel looked back with a face full of hurt -

Dean took a step back.

“That’s why I’m saying ‘no’.”

And Dean was left alone on the porch.

***

Dean closed the door to his house as quietly as he could, and rubbed at his eyes in confusion. Something had gone very, very badly and Dean’s mind was experiencing a little too much turbulence for him to figure out what exactly that meant or where it had happened.

“Dean? Is that you?”

Dean rubbed at the back of his head as he made his way into the living room, following the sound of his mother’s voice.

Mary was sitting on the couch with a book in her lap; her hair was pulled back into a messy and reading glasses rested on the tip of her nose.

“Hey, mom.”

Mary looked up and smiled.

“Hey, hun. What were you up to?”

Dean sighed and flopped down on the couch next to her, resting his hands on his stomach.

“Went on a date with Cas.”

“Oh? And how’d it go?”

Dean shrugged and made a noncommittal grunt.

“Well, what did you do for the date?”

“Dinner and a movie.”

Mary raised her eyebrow.

“Really? I thought that was something you only did on first dates.”

Dean frowned and glanced over at his mother as she calmly turned a page in her book.

“It- it was a first date.”

Mary made a face at Dean and tutted as she shook her head in disappointment.

“You’ve never taken your boyfriend on a proper date? Dean.”

Dean sat up.

“Wha - but I - we’re not - it’s not like -” Dean steepled his fingers together and pressed them against his lips. “Wait, what…what makes you think that Cas and I are dating?”

“Well,” Mary pursed her lips thoughtfully and folded a dog-ear in her book. “Besides the intense amount of flirting that’s sort of a giveaway? Two things. One is the way that you look at him.”

“The way I….” Dean trailed off, a question in is voice.

“The way you look at him. Dean, the way you stare at Castiel reminds me of the way people stare at stars. It’s like there’s nothing else in the world you’d rather be looking at.”

Dean felt the a light blush begin crawling up his neck.

“Oh. Um. What’s the second thing, then?”

Mary smiled.

“The way he looks at you.”

***

“Cas! Hey, Cas!”

Dean shoved his way through the crowds of lunch period, trying to catch up to his best friend. Castiel had been extremely successful in avoiding him throughout their classes and even the teachers had noticed that he’d sat on the opposite side of the room from Dean instead right next to him as he usually did.

“‘Scuse me. Pardon me.” Dean used few well-timed elbow jabs until he could finally tap Castiel on the shoulder. “Cas. Hey.”

Castiel glanced over his shoulder and squinted.

“Oh. Hello Dean. How did everyone take the news about our date last night?” he asked, folding his arms in front of his chest and not bothering to hide the slight venom in his voice.

“I uh, I haven’t told anyone.” Dean said, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Look, can we talk?”

Castiel shrugged.

“Sure.”

Dean grabbed Castiel by his hand and led him outside where there weren’t so many people surrounding them before.

He took a deep breath, quickly running through the major points of long speech that he’d prepared in his head. It was full of eloquent apologies and deep confessions that he hoped would help Castiel realize how he felt and maybe help him forgive what an ass he was.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Dean blurted, then slapped a hand over his mouth.

Castiel’s eyes widened almost comically.

“What?”

“Shit, wait. That was supposed to come last.” Dean licked his lips, feeling the panic set in. “Look, Cas. I’m so sorry about last night. I played it off like it was just a joke but…I don’t think it was. I don’t think any of this has been a joke for me and I’ve just been too much of an idiot to realize it. What I’m trying to say here is, I uh, I really like you, Cas. I don’t want any of this to be pretend anymore. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Castiel continued to stare, and Dean didn’t blame him for taking his time while he digested the word-vomit that he’d just dumped.

“So…” he said finally. “The date was real?”

Dean shrugged, letting himself smile a little.

“It should have been.”

Castiel nodded to himself and slowly reached out to grab Dean’s hand, giving him plenty of time to move back if this wasn’t something he wanted.

He wanted it.

“Then I think I’d like that very much, Dean.” Castiel murmured, intertwining their fingers together with a grin.

“Awesome.” Dean breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed his hand tightly, not bothering to hide how giddy Castiel’s simple answer had made him. They were holding hands. Of course, they had before, but all of those times were just screwing around being funny.

This wasn’t funny anymore.

It was so much better than that.

It was real.

“So, uh, Cas?” Dean said, ducking his head a little to hide his playful grin.

“Mmmhm?”

“If that date was real, does that mean I can get a goodnight kiss now?”

Castiel raised an eyebrow, a teasing look on his face as he slowly leaned in, causing Dean’s heart to nearly burst from his chest in anticipation-

And pressed a finger against Dean’s lips.

“I never kiss on the first date. I’ll see you later, darling. ”

Dean laughed as Castiel slipped from his grasp and walked away, a slight skip in his step.

“Then I’ll pick you up at eight, hot stuff!” He called after Castiel’s retreating silhouette.

A few meandering students paused and stared at Dean curiously.

“That’s my boyfriend.” Dean said with a nonchalant shrug and the biggest goddamn smile that he’d ever had on his face.

[luvdsc]

sadly no, we use box pasta 😑 we're not that advanced lol. my parents have had the panini press for 20 years and it makes some good ass paninis 🤠 i'm almost fluent, i'm doing ap next year so 👀 what languages does ur school offer?? omg the pink slips sounds so annoying like in middle school the dress code used to be super strict but in high school i feel like it's too awkward to dress code a student (like a male teacher dress coding a female student and vice versa) [1/?]

I honestly have no idea ab online classes/the platform we're gonna use, but my friend just told me that standardized testing isnt happening this year/there aren't extra days in the school year so that's a little better. i'm glad ur friends decided not to do that spring break trip bc ur right!! this is quarantine not vacation!! my friends don't have the masks but they also think that just because it doesn't kill them it's fine (no shade on them lol) [2/3]

give it up and a couple others really made me pay attention to ariana and be like 'she's gonna be a star some day' 💕 i lit watched 10 things i hate about you last night bc it was on free movies and yess!! cameron!is!such!a!sweetheart 💖 really woulda wanted to see them sailing together 👀 it would have been so cute!! heath ledger was perfect for the part like I'm just like 👀🤩😍 joey really deserved that punch. 90's romcoms are feel good movies that i absolutely love 💕[3/4 (oop i miscounted)]

some other movie recs are 'get out' and 'crooked house' if ur into the thriller type of genre.. honestly anything agatha christie is fire and i also like jordan peele from his comedy sketches. for romcoms i would have to think ab bc i can be really picky 😶 but i love easy a and clueless. real random but u wanna be mutuals 👀 [4/4]

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box pasta is just as good and a lot less time consuming!! ahhh i wish i cooked with my sister too, but unfortunately, she’s terrible at it rip. and yesss, we have one at home too, and it’s just to die for. that’s amazing!!! 💖 are you bilingual or do you speak more than two languages then? :o my hs had only french and spanish, and there’s a variety offered at uni, but i just did spanish for two quarters since i already did that in hs. omg middle school was way stricter for me, too ): yeah, it’s definitely more awkward for a male teacher to dress code, but they did it for more obvious violations, like not wearing formal dress on required days or wrong socks. 

and that’s good!!! i’m glad your school isn’t adding extra days. omg your friends should be more careful though ): even if they don’t get sick, they can still be a carrier, and if they live with older people or people with respiratory issues, they can pass it to them kjaaskljdfasag

yeah same, you can definitely see the sheer amount of talent ariana had from the few songs she participated in on victorious.  ahhh omg same, i rewatched it since it’s available on disney+ and it made me so happy :’) and YES even though bianca mentioned going sailing with him in the end, i wish they added a scene of it 💕 heath ledger is indeed the perfect one for the movie, and i miss him ): oh god yes, 90′s rom coms make me so happy and relaxed 💘✨

oh, i’ve watched get out!! it’s really good, and i’ll have to check out crooked house next! oooo i love mystery books, but i’ve never watched any agatha christie movies before :o oh! jordan peele is the one who directed and produced get out and us, right? i haven’t watched his comedy sketches before, but i’ll check those out too! i really love his wife in b99 and i’m still sad she left it ): omg easy a is such a good one and so is clueless!!! (although the whole ex step siblings thing is kinda...) and yeah, for sure, honey bee!!!! also, who’s your favorite(s) from each nct unit and overall? is it jaemin? i just realized i never asked this and !!?!!!?