#I'm talking a decade bro 😭

[luckyyyduckyyy]

I

AM

GOING

GO-KARTING

TONIGHT!!!!!

LET'S GOOOOOOOO-

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

The Brothers Sun ep8

Understandable that the Tea Leaf guy won't talk unless Big Sun is brought down

Aw, they're staying in a motel

Mama Sun is so done that Bruce couldn't get the name for dragon head right 😂

She makes her son drive at night because she gets lost😭

She bought 6 pasta strainers just because they were on sale

"You are not a crime boss. You're my mom." She can be both

I get where she's coming from, but it never sits right to be mad at the kid who didn't

NOOOOOOOOOO Charles nooooooooooooooo

Oh thank god, he shot above his brother's head

The mom's hand on Charles shoulder 😭 I bet she came running

I love that Bruce said that it's going to lead to decades of therapy (that his brother was sent to kill him by their father)😂

Charles don't hurt your brother! He has a point about killing your father

The fact that Bruce said he'd do anything to protect his brother 😭

The way the mom admitted that the chairleg incident was a test and she didn't push back against the father when he forced Charles to kill the first time😭

At least she's showing the remorse and guilt she feels for sacrificing

"Forget dad, you can be Charles -churro baker Sun"😭

The way that the mom has a charger for her son's phone😭

Oh, Charles just realized how he was betrayed

Xing telling the Wang bros that they need to shut up makes me hope she at least feels some guilt for betraying

The dad is such an asshole

Good for you Charles, telling your dad you want to stay. I'm proud of you❤️

The way I cheered when Charles shot those douche bags😂

Oh no, Xing is going to kill the mother and brother 😭

Well fuck indeed, Charles, fuck indeed

Alexis saying that they don't have shrimp chips😂

Him asking for a charger is not permission to track his phone

Alexis is far worse than Charles ever could be

Mama Sun wearing an oversized jersey is so cute

Yeah, Xing sucks and blood boots would never

The fact that the mom is immediately chastising Bruce for getting the wrong milk😂

FUCK YOU ALEXIS. FUCK YOU

Bruce is absolutely playing her😂 the improv classes work!

I love how Charles is just as shocked that the mom can fight 😂😂

Bruce planning to kill their dad😂

I mean, him being good at Laser Tag and also beating his actual assassin brother at a shooting video game is hilarious and actually makes sense

Bruce: "Neither of us are who our parents thought we were."

Charles"Yeah, but both our parents are crazy."

Bruce: "yeah."

Bruce, hugging Charles: "I don't think we've ever hugged before."

Charles: "Well, you're probably gonna die, so might as well get one last one before you go."😂

Bruce: "Right."

Bruce, handing his visitor badge to Alexis: "The Brothers Sun don't work with cops." HA!

Oh no, Bruce don't listen to that serpent of a father who's telling you to join him.

I love that Charles made sure to shoot his dad and missed the internal organs 😂 It definitely pays

The way that Bruce said he'd use his spit to make his taco dumplings 😂

I'm pretty sure that it was Bruce's plan all along to get his brother and mom to cook for him forever😂

FUCK YEAH! THE MAMA INJECTING THE DAD'S IV BAGS WITH INSULIN IS WICKED AND GENIUS AND I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER!

Awwwww she bought her son a bakery 😭🥺

Hopefully that other girl isn't

The way she brought gifts to her friends

I love that she wants her kids to have lives and be happy 🥺❤️

Good for Alexis that she got a tower of her snack

The pictures in the mom's room with both her boys🥺😭

I'm crying with Bruce and Mama Sun too😭 nothing bad better happen to her

Oh nooooo, Charles is leaving too😭 I mean I'm happy that he's gonna get some time with his mama and that she's finally getting what she wants

I love that June has dinner reservations already 😂 she's got her priorities straight

The fact that Bruce still struggles to drive his car is hilarious and relatable af😂

I really hope we get another season, just because this was so well written and I enjoyed this show so much. But it also ended on a great note.

Ooooooo I wonder who that guy with the sunglasses sounds like he's being sent after Tea guy

Also still curious about who the man was that Eileen had been dancing with in Taiwan

[goblin-the-clown]

Okk I wanted to talk about this drawing bc bro's in the gorillaz community all have very strong opinions on it. Noodle is a fully grown adult here and it's not even really that sexualised she's just showing her underwear.

HOWEVER people are allowed to not like this drawing, that's completely valid. I think the reason people don't like it is that Jamie was drawing her as a little girl not too long ago, plus it's not really in character for her ig. If I catch u using this image as an excuse to be misogynistic u will catch these hands (same thing with Paula leave her tf alone 😭).

"Oh BuT mUrDoC iS dRaWn SeXuAlIsEd AlL tHe TiMe!!" It's not the same thing!! I hate to be the one to say it, Murdoc is a man. Noodle is a woman. Jamie is a straight man. Do u understand where I'm going with this? Men aren't the ones who have been non-stop sexualised in mainstream media for decades even when it's not necessary. I know there are a lot of over sexualised male designs but it's much more common with female characters.

Anyway, feminist rant over. Draw whatever tf u want but if u want to write a good female character don't sacrifice character development and traits so u can make a one dimensional bimbo. I think this drawing is actually really good, she just looks like she's having fun and being silly. Jamie Hewlett is an incredible artist and his work has inspired me so much since I started liking gorillaz. Plus they're his characters so really he can draw what he wants lol.

[itsabea]

i'm in a dilemma and idk what to do :''))))

do yk my oc clio, the one i talked about lats time,

well i was planning on making her aroace bcs i thought it'd be cool representation and didn't want to ship her with anyone bcs not every oc should be shipped (bonk on my head bcs i fail that)

BUT THEN i had a fic idea about her and balor meeting in the capital by coincidence while they were both on their way to mistria and deciding to make the trip together (still haven't decided if they're gonna bond and be besties to rip each others throats)

now i can't stop thinking about them together and i hate it 😭😭😭 so much for representation shfkjtkzgztjatktjrjfjrqrhggz

oh. meh. GOODNESS!!

bro- pal- mate- IM aroace!!(and i will now yabber my tune about aroace vil-)

ok- so, first things first.

aro(aromantic) is the romantic label for people who feel little to no romantic attraction - and ace(asexual) is the same, but with sexual attraction.

i bold attraction because that's where most get confused and jump the gun- ATTRACTION AND DESIRE ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

you can be aro and have a romantic partner

you can be ace and have sexual experiences

the confusion usually stirs with misunderstanding - and while it's fully okay to misunderstand! - a lot of people tend to think that their misinformation is correct(when it's not)

so, here is my advice: research, and then make up your mind.

but as an aroace that someday wants to find a partner suitable for me, i personally think it would be great if your oc clio got together with balor :))

there's also a thing called being demi(sexual and romantic), it's like a sub class of ace/aro where you end up developing feelings over time once getting to know someone.

this is such a cool thing to get to talk about! and if you(or anyone else) has questions, i am more than happy to answer them to the best of my ability!

while i am aroace, please keep in mind that my experience is not universal. in my whole life i have only been romantically attracted to one irl person(and that was over a decade ago) and no sexual attraction to anyone irl so far - but other people will obviously have differing experiences.

overall, the choice is yours!

but remember that you aren't hurting anyone with an oc, and that you get to choose their fate, personality, and attractions :))

[floweringsweetheart2]

📧 | [ I envy and am jealous of fakeboys ]

Wednessday, (20/nov/2024)

➣ Welcome paragraph🎀

Hello my fellow incubators in training, sluts/slaves, desperate bimbos and dear followers! Here it is another post of mine discussing about.... guess what? FAKEBOYS.

For your information, I am not actually a TERF!! Nor I condone actual transphobia, even though my vent is kind of way too genuine to the acceptable standarts of today, and I'm really wondering if my blog or post is gonna get taken down for hate speech because many of you might not understand what I'm acyually tryna say😭

Some implicit intonations of my text are clearly related to the kink (even though im kinda too masculine to be seen by others as a cisgender girl unfortunately) but others are genuine vent. Since I want to still let some mystery behind some of my intentions, I won't clarify ALL of my statements. Why? Because it's midnight and I'm lazy asf, even tho I only played for the past couple hours roblox lmao)

If you're not fine with my vent for a list of reasons (e.g.), please, I kindly invite to consider arguing with the wall. My blog wasn't made for everyone to enjoy its content (even though my main objective here besides mindlessly posting stuff I feel like is entertaining my "followers". The block button is just a few couple clicks away so, why bother in the comment section when you can pretend you've never seen my vent before?

➣ Why so many warnings? 🎀

Because this topic (dysphoria in general) is something that hugely impacts on my life, especially since I had been forced to submit to the overwhelming psychological burden and "debt" that is integrating to womanhood (even though I didn't even had completed two digits before I had been introduced).

The instability that is being an unnatractive woman in womanhood, especially when put in it against my will had generated a really profound trauma inside my head which I avoid talking to, but since this blog is kind of a vent account when I post "seriously" (cos no one can take me seriously actually) , I will talk abouy it to you guys :)

➣ Struggling at the most basics🎀

I am NOT a fakeboy. Because, if I were financially and aesthetically allowed, my expression of gender will be higly feminine, since I am afab and had been identifying with my designated gender at birth :/

But, as I mentioned before, just as socially expected, I am unnatractive. I can't show no pics of me but I'm ugly as hell, but like, I had never felt comfortable in my own skin and it IS about naturally manifesting your gender spectrum.

Cuz like, first of all... You all guys know that I'm straight but I simply LOVE TITS!!!! Maybe because I was raised in a male-dominated humor culture (not men humor, plsase!) And, for most of my womanhood life (idk, almost a decade??? idk) I have been considered a quite busty girl for soemone my age. I am actually a 38E cup but they look like something in between C cups and B cups... Weird...

So, when I see all the girls having some rapid breaat growth (obtaining in a couple of months what I slowly achieved in 3 years or so) makes me genuinely so fucking mad... I must be the curviest girl in any room!!! How can this happen!??!?!?

And it it of common sense that FtMs use binders so their sillouette doesn't look too feminine, but something that infuriates me (not just a tiny bit... like, A LOT) is that they ALWAYS have the sluttiest and tiniest waists to touch... Always the biggest udders to grope in family gatherings... The juiciest thighs to lick, the curviest hips to birth and bear, THE SHORTEST HEIGHTSSSSSS!!!!! THE TINIEST NOSED AND HANDSSS

Like, I understand that gender doesn't work that way but... Isn't it so unfair that we, cis girls who struggle to make ourselves more feminine then there's someone who milks money out of their sketchy tumblr blog for literally trying to get rid of those udders... Like, uhm, at least give us some???? wtf bro

I am genuinely almost bawling my eyes out after this vent post because... idk man IT'S SO UNFAIR, SO UNFAIR URAGHGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What have I done to be born in this miserable body? I literally look like an ogre :(

[mostly-delusional]

I tried posting this shit like 3 fucking times but tumblr just won't go through with it so i had to make a whole ass separate post sorry 😭 this is in continuation to this post (for those who have no clue what I'm talking about) @abla-soso

yes, as it so happens, i am considerably new to the fandom. which is probably why i haven't seen the side of it you're referring to. and yet i still stand by my initial point of not throwing around words at random. you can't go around calling anyone a misogynist just because the fandom overall is shitty. you can't go around calling me a misogynist even tho I haven't ever participated in any of the stuff you mentioned above (idk why the fuck do i have to defend myself lmao but apparently i do).

the post this all started with was simply a meme referencing a scene from the latest episode. there are a thousand ways you could've taken it instead of straight up assuming I'm a raging women-hater lol. and then you mentioned another one of my posts where I called her misinterpretation a foolish mistake, again assuming the same thing.

"if the king's words are law [...] then Alicent would have been obligated to respect the king's dying words".

are you fr rn? 😭 "blaming a woman for what men did?" did you not read what i wrote? or maybe you just couldn't be bothered to understand? or maybe you would rather pick and choose and come to conclusions based on whatever conveniently furthers your own rigid opinion of me? not once did i throw all blame on alicent's shoulders. not once did i say she was the only one responsible for the events that went down. what i did say was that she was complicit in the act (which, according to the dictionary, does not equal to me saying she is the only one to blame).

"Otto is the fucking snake who schemed for decades to usurp the throne (the prophecy is fucking irrelevant to his plans). Viserys is the fucking dumb bitch who never undermined his daughter's claim by having legitimate sons and not bothering to codify her claim through a binding legalised law (giving any lord the legal justification to dismiss Rhaenyra's claim). Amond was the irresponsible brat who charged at Rhaenyra's brat and killed (being the actual one who kick started the violence)."

bro where did i excuse or defend any of the men you mentioned above? otto is a piece of shit and i won't bother talking about him (will agree with you about him being the mastermind of the entire usurping and the one behind all of alicent's suffering).

i multiple times agreed with you about viserys being a shitty father/husband and you still somehow think I'm defending him. so I'll state it here again to appease you: viserys was a shitty father to every single one of his children. he sidelined his own fucking daughter because all he wanted was a son. which led to his wife losing five of her children: one dead in the cradle, two stillbirths, two miscarriages. aemma was forced to have children over and over again despite everything she went through as a result of those pregnancies. and that bitch of a man killed his wife (there's no other way I'm going to interpret that scene), had her cut open just so he could have the son he always wanted (even tho aemma kept insisting she was scared and she wanted them to just fucking stop). he only named rhaenyra heir because daemon was too rash and impulsive for the task and there was no other better option. he considered marrying a literal fucking child only to turn around and marry a slightly older child. alicent was manipulated and disgustingly pushed into a marriage (by her greedy dick of a father) with a man who was decades older than her (not saying viserys was resistant to the marriage before you go ahead and call me shit for that too). she was maritally raped, forced to have children when she herself was a child. then comes aegon. viserys had the son he always wanted. and although he had already named rhaenyra his heir, he should have been there for his children. he should've played a role in their upbringing. instead he was— like you mentioned earlier— a deadbeat father. he couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the things happening right under his nose. he couldn't be bothered to acknowledge and do something about the resentment festering between rhaenyra, alicent, and their children. he was downright horrendous for a lot of shit that he did. nobody is fucking defending that. i'm not defending that.

you're right about aemond and I'll agree with you on that. him killing luke was one of the major reasons behind the dance and why everything went down to shit so quick.

i had no fucking idea that if i don't explicitly mention how i hate every man in the show and say that they were a piece of shit every time i talk about alicent, I'll be labelled all kinds of stuff. but there you go. does that make you feel better?

i said all that and i will still stand by the fact that alicent was complicit in the entire plan. she was a part of it. most of what i said was centred around alicent because that's who my original post was about and that's who we were talking about.

and i knew you'd make the "she was protecting her children argument". to that I would say: so was rhaenyra. alicent never left an opportunity to call rhaenyra's children bastards. she instilled hatred for luke and jace in her son's minds for years. to the point where aemond almost bashed one of their heads in, leading him (aemond) to lose an eye. yeah, she was protecting her children when she let aegon bully aemond to no end, so long as it didn't happen within public eye. yeah, she was protecting her children by completely ignoring her rapist of a son (I'm sure you have some kind of explanation for that too). she was being protective of her children when she spread rumours about the legitimacy of rhaenyra's children. it was only out of protectiveness over her children that she shamed and ridiculed rhaenyra for years. it couldn't have possibly been anything else. sure. (I'm never going to be convinced her attitude towards rhaenyra was solely a result of her fear for her children).

"her snake of a father convinced her they'll be killed for merely existing as potential rivals to Rhaenyra's claim"

that was the same argument used by the greens as an explanation for why rhaenyra and her children had to die. since they so graciously placed aegon's ass on the throne, it was only reasonable to kill rhaenyra and all her children because they were the biggest contenders for the throne and had a rightful claim to it. right. this was the same argument alicent used to ingrain resentment towards jace and luke in her son's mind.

and yes, she is also responsible for starting the war (as most of the characters are, in one way or another). because— might come as a shock to you— alicent went along with everything her family was planning. she is not as innocent as you want her to be but that's not a conversation you're willing to have (again, because apparantly everything has to be explicitly stated, I'm not saying she's the only one who's ever done anything wrong in her life. every single character on the show has done some or other awful shit. neither side is completely innocent. but alicent is the one I'm particularly talking about in this post). you're so adamant about alicent being oh so innocent and saintly that you're taking away all kinds of nuance, complexity, and moral ambiguity from her and turning her into some kind of mary sue with absolutely no fucking agency. because— "this might blow your mind"— but having trauma doesn't absolve someone from being wrong or making mistakes or facing the consequences of their own conscious fucking actions. there's only so much about someone that you can excuse using their past suffering. there has to come a point where a character needs to be held accountable for their actions and choices instead of justifying all of it in the name of trauma. but that's clearly not something you're ready to talk about.

I'm sure you'll still manage to pick something up from what i said and turn around and say "look!! misogyny!! you're a disgusting piece of shit!!" because apparently saying anything negative about a female character is a heinous crime. female characters aren't supposed to be morally corrupt. they aren't supposed to be wrong. they are only two dimensional. they can't have depth. they're all fucking mary sues.

this is the last time I'm adding anything to this argument conversation because we'll start going around in circles after a certain point and the whole thing will be pointless. so whatever opinion you hold of me after reading all of it is going to be your problem.

(also,,, I'm sorry if my tone offended you, i wasn't trying to be condescending or anything, i was just too goddamn pissed when i wrote this. have a good day <33)

[felixknow]

Wait idk why this one popped into my head so randomly but you mentioned you were (/is?) a directioner. What do we think about Larry 👀?

(Me: writing this question Spotify: yeah let me play you Act my age LMAO 😭)

LMAO Spotify said hey I heard you want some One Direction rn 😏

I will always and forever love One Direction and if they ever do a reunion tour I'm fucking THERE

My thoughts on 1D ships + Minsung below, don't cancel me, the 1D part is a decade old drama at this point, and also I will not respond if anyone says anything negative abt Minsung rn 💀

I was very much an anti-larrie I'm not gonna lie to you. I hated it with my full chest and I fought bitches day and night who said and did weird shit regarding Louis/Harry. There's just absolutely nothing between them, their friendship visibly died in 2013 and I doubt they even talk anymore 🤡🤡🤡🤡

I fully had a Niall/Harry ship blog though so I'm not as clean and anti-ship as you may think jkydncjdkdksks I never thought they were GENUINELY dating though, but I love a fruity friendship and sometimes fanfic is just an outlet when you can't/don't want to make your own original characters

So it's not a surprise that I'm about to write a minsung fic bc I have a history of writing boyband ship fics. Even though I could totally see Minho/Han being together (bc there is a TON of fruity shit between them, unlike anything Larry ever had LMAO), I'm still ultimately in my "i don't think they're dating but I think they're cute so I'm writing a fic" mindset (like w Narry....bc sometimes its just fun to be fruity w the bros)

I have super complicated feelings abt writing ship fics with irl ppl as characters bc I don't want to cross a boundary or make anyone uncomfortable so honestly the second anyone in SKZ says it's too much I'll delete my entire account LMAO not even kidding. I sometimes sit and think about my fics and feel super guilty and want to delete everything. I almost did recently but decided to take a week off instead lolllll

Anyway!!! That's it for now (:

Btw I keep saying fruity bc I'm a fruit and I think it's funny 🏳️‍🌈🤓☝️🏳️‍🌈

[gamerbearmira]

queenofthemultiverse, I'm doing good bro!! also, I had an au idea in mind. So, I was thinking back on the encanto lord of the rings au I was thinking, what if the triplets met Galadriel first?

Like say casita sends them there just as a break sort of thing, they wake up in Galadriel's castle at night, hang out, and be back home in the morning like nothing happened.

Galadriel knows all about Alma, she doesn't despise her, but she doesn't understand why such babies are forced to work so young. And to her, 8 years old = newborn.

She has tried to talk to her, but the triplets always tell her it's ok and that they are ok with it. The triplet's kind of see her as the mother they've always wanted, they love their birth mother, but Gala is more there emotionally and affectionately. And Celeborn is technically the father they've never had.

Can you please draw Galadriel with the triplets please! I think that would be adorable. By the time they meet her they would be about 8 years old.

Art prompt: Gala dressing them in royal garments (I'm eternally squealing at the thought)

Art prompt 2: Celeborn teaching P, B, and J how to use a sword or bow & arrow.

Art prompt 3: The triplets venting to Gala how tired they are, with Gala eternally getting more upset as the seconds go by.

Art Prompt 4: Gala and/or celborn showering them in gifts and pampering them. (I'm smiling at the thought of this)

You don't have to do all of them, you can do whichever one you like.

Ayo⁉️⁉️⁉️ Galadriel taking care of the little triplets <333 gotta love her for worrying. I mean by elf standards, they are like. Literally infants.

I was gonna do the second one with Celeborn, but. Imma do it next time though‼️‼️‼️ I did however do the first, I like it <333 the thought of Galadriel making them clothes is so cute <3 def sticks to their color schemes as well, just cause she likes the blue, yellow, green aspect they got going on.

hope you like it too 😼

Also time passes by faster in Middle Earth relative to the encanto, so if they don’t come back for like a year, that’s like a decade to Galadriel 😭

[hoshigray]

okay im gonna day a LOT because its been 8 years since i been here

1. fic was great but u always write good shit so lets pretend to be shocked

2. lmk when ur requests are open again bc i got a freaky one

3. i saw megan live and wow i love that woman

4. i genuinely keep crying everytime i see gojo with them stitches pls just let toji comeback to live so he can tag team sukuna w maki w a glock and we can ve free

5. gave up on my main nigga so now im talking to his friend and i like his friend a lot!!

6. everyone tryna act like they understand shoko to where they can criticize her decision of her being ok w yuta using his body is so upsetting to me bc yall dont know my wife

7. i miss when jjk was silly n fun

- megan anon

It's so wonderful to see you after a whole decade, Megan noonie 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

1) omg YIPPEEEEE, you read the fic!! And awww, stop you're too kind, Megan, mwah 🤧💕 bye "let's pretend to be shocked" you got jokes, lmaoo

2) I will !! Lowkey, I think they'll be open sometime next week, but idk, we'll see how fast I can get to finishing reworking my rulebook.

3) LUCKY ASSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Omfg ik you had a grand time, seeing the fancams have me jelly!! My time will come!!!! I need to see my Queen fr

4) NAH I'M SAYING THO, LIKE IF THIS MANGA IS GONNA KEEP GETTING RIDICULOUS, MAKE IT EVEN MORE ALL OVER THE PLACE!! bring toji back for one last scare for whatever reason, and have a mentor-apprentice vs kuna fight w/ maki and and he's just gonna blow this mf with the Mac (yeah ik this is delusional and they would be nerf3d but shiiiiiit, would've been a lot more fun than all this fiasco we've been undergoing for the past 10 chaps, lol).

5) Oh my, so you dumped the main guy (even though you said he's not really ya mans lmfao), and now you are hopping to his homie!?!? Well, as long as you're having fun, then that's all that matters 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️💟💟 (and hopefully, your ex doesn't be an ass about it if he knows)

6) Mmmm tbh yeah, ngl in the beginning I was a bit too critical of th3 decision planning (prob bc I was so bombarded with the information about the plan + her being one of his last dear friends and not showing a bit of restraint/reluctance to the plan); but now, that's just how Shoko is since she was neutral on Geto becoming anti-sorcery, so it makes sense that she's the Gojo body plan (and I'm sure she has feelings about the plan as a whole, but is probably pushing them aside as we're dealing with a huge threat to the modern world right now). But I get it, tho bc the hate she and Yuta got for that was so unwarranted like???? Calm tf down????

7) bro, I'm just waiting for this manga to end for me to turn around and make Canon convergence and rewrite some of this tomfoolery, starting with after Hidden Inventory arc 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[vegasvictor]

reese, i hope it’s alright but would you mind sharing your thoughts about house & his (nonexistent) relationship with half-bro anthony? reading your fic made me think soo much about how the loss of that family inheritance ultimately shaped his worldview leading forward.

tbh, i’d love to hear your thoughts just in general 🐥💗

you can pop in my ask literally anytime you want 🥰

okay so i feel like from a very young age he was already like, i don't need help, i'm on my own anyway. i've interpreted his childhood differently and i can't remember which way i liked it LOL but either way, that's how he feels about anthony. i don't need you, i don't need anyone, i'll change the world and you'll be sorry :)

i do feel like house at one point had this naive hope that one day anthony would like. see him as an equal-- we're talking deeeep down buried under decades of rightful resentment. i think that's why he decides to start taking down h&h tools lol. like he realizes there's no getting through to him so that's fine, he'll take their father's legacy back the hard way. not that he cares about that per se- he did more in 30 years than his father did in his entire life- but he deserves it a hell of a lot more than anthony ever did.

what i would've given for you to tell house that you went there and what you saw and everything 😭😭😭

[zahlibeth]

BINGO!

I'm still in love with the pilot there's just So Much going on. thoughts under the cut because i don't shut up

starts with a classic voice-over! i miss the cheese sometimes. Abby is absolutely a main character in S1 and also i love her

Hen calling Bobby "Captain" with two syllables?? who ARE these people??

Buck and "c'mon kid" with that first victim, Buck and kids just a theme from the start huh? him sweettalking the tiny baby later just fucking GETS to me

Bobby's "I've been where you are, I know how you feel" to the jumper?? s o b b i n g 😭 we see later that you can't always trust a story Bobby tells to a victim but this one? yeah this one is real and it hurts

also not reaching out for Bobby's hand vs Devon in the next episode!! I'm not counting this for the """foreshadowing""" square btw because I was explicitly meaning this to be unintentional-looks-hilarious-in-retrospect stuff, not legit storytelling

didn't remember that the audience got Bobby's backstory way way before the team!

"some are sex addicts" immediate scene transition into firehose!Buck!! love it when they do Scene Transitions with capital letters. the "can I get your actual number" bit hurts, I knew I was going to fall for Buck from here p much

"oh dang" Buck is SUCH a fucknig frat bro omg

"THIS IS NOT A FAMILY" says Bobby, you know, like a LIAR

"see the fire, put out the fire, the rest is blah blah" oh Buck you complete fool

Chim: "you know you're not helping him by going easy on him ... I'll remind you of that after he gets you killed" OUCH

the whole scene with Athena and Buck outside the hospital? yeah that's when I knew for sure I was gone for Buck. because he's a punk ass frat boy and literally every other character knows it and is not going to put up with his shit. as soon as he did his confident psshh demeanour and the camera panned to everyone else deeply unimpressed? chef's kiss, perfect. you know they're gonna buff those rough edges right out and he's gonna be a giant fucking softie all the way through

Michael & Athena's arguments were also when I knew I was down bad for the whole show because there's actual fucking NUANCE in them, they both have points, there's no easy answer

Buck: "as far as I'm concerned the world started the day I was born"

Hen's "why is [violence] always the first option for you white boy macho tough guys?" i love her i love her

also still not over Buck's ARMS in his "I always choose to save the more attractive one" scene like REALLY please

deeply in love with bitchy Bobby this episode. why DON'T we talk about what a bitch he is more??? straight up calls Buck a moron, his line about Athena saying Buck is an asset and him saying she's half right??? ICONIC. I'm counting this as a fanon violation honestly

Hen also is perfect, marching to the beat of her own drum as always "for what it's worth everyone things this sucks" / "it's my own fault" / "yeah, everyone thinks that too", i love her. also "I told [Bobby] he should just get a dalmatian instead" pffffft "I'm legit sorry to see you go, you got some skills, just not a lot of discipline" my boy has adhd and Hen reads him for filth so fucking fast

Buck with his "you're the real hero here" for Abby is perfect, he's a sweeheart, I ship them so hard in season 1 they're delightful together

Best look: ruffled firehose Buck in the engine obv, interesting that we barely get anyone in civvies

Worst look: the unflattering dispatch polos

Character notes: Bobby is "50 years old" though it would be fair to take that as a general estimation rather than an exact number, "lost a decade of my life in and out of rehab ... back in the job 18 months"

Chim is terrified of snakes and Hen apparently Knows Snake Facts

Buck knows neither Rambo nor Conan the Barbarian

[todayisafridaynight]

Prior to sending the ask I was just guessing what matrophobia meant based on the root words but I looked it up after and went ohhhh and then you confirmed that extra dimension to it and I went OHHHHH

I think that gets to the heart of what I've been thinking about, that bittersweetness, because despite his best efforts... of course he could never end up anything like Yoko, but he still ended up with an abusive "household." Because in addition to Masato ending up how he did, he has to see those same situations play out, feel that same tension in the air between Jo and Ichi, over and over for almost a decade straight.

Like, in a way, he's forced to put himself in Toshio's shoes when that happens. He can't really get through to Jo, in the same way Toshio can't get through to Yoko, but he can try to step in before lasting damage is done, and he can try to make it bearable for his son. You know. Have a nice talk. Treat him to Peking duck. I'm SO normal about the (drawn-out) parallels of those scenes

So then with Jo... he kind of does become his father, even if he never wanted to (no one wants to), both through his ruinous neglect of Masato at birth and through how he comes to look at discipline and corporal punishment. I'm sure it's not lost on him in Masato's case (owww), but with Ichi, it's not like he has any reason to see him as his son... But How Far Can That Take You.

Because it's like, at the start, he was openly beating Ichi in front of Arakawa and not letting up much when Arakawa intervened. But then you have The Yubitsume Scene and Arakawa walking in on All That and... he looks sorry. Sorry for being caught, probably, but sorry nonetheless. Like... what changed between then and now... have you two had a Heartfelt Conversation... do you know where Arakawa got that scar... are you unable to change your "nature" even then...

Side note bro your SHOE is the size of his TORSO I promise you do not need to kick him with all the strength you've got like what the hell is this 😭😭😭

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE thank you so much for delving into the symbolism! Wonderful read. I don't really have an eye for symbolism, so that makes it all the more enjoyable to revisit the comic and everything with what you've gone into. I think a lot of your experiences resonate with mine, so conversely I'm not sure what others would take away from it, BUT I think there's enough there that's so insightful and evocative that it's effective without personal experience. I don't think there's anything I could add, so. Yeah. For once I am happy to sit back and take it all in... On that note, definitely looking forward to your next comic!

AUUUGH YEAAAH YEAHEYA HYEAH THAT EXACTLY OUUUGH OWIEE OWW.....

that's literally it though. like no extra notes. except The Obligatory Few i dont think it was an accident that arakawa is set up as the beginning of the game's 'protagonist' and planting that 'troubled family' taste first thing in our mind. i remember how i felt when i first saw arakawa walk in on jo and ichi and then arakawa taking ichi out for dinner i was just like🧍‍♂️Girl No The Cycle.... It's Continuing...... //screams// LIKE UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BUT ALSO OWWW STOPPP and then on the REPLAY it just hurts more cause with the added context to jo's character its like Oh No...... You're Your Father's Son....

and youre right: jo doesn't have an implicit reason to see how he treats ichi is wrong, hence he similarly doesnt have any reason to stop- not unless arakawa intervenes of course (and i will stand outside my window thinking of the possibility arakawa ever did try to have A Conversation with jo... arms folded behind my back and all like Man™️....)

oh but yeah, absolutely no problem ! im lowkey of an egotist so i do like to talk bout the stuff i make. More In Depth (though thats obvious considering the fuckin essays in the tags i always leave ☠️☠️) gerjlgaELKjg. so i was happy to explain ♪(´▽｀) !! what i like about symbolism is that it can be intentional or not, and the fun is always finding it just by chance. i cant explain it properly, but i just think its a neat 'seasoning' of sorts to drawings (❁´◡`❁)

[cakejerry]

Listen whatever is the deal with jungkook right now I just know that something seems very sinister. Like there is something very wrong happening here. Doesn’t he have any real friends to tell him to maybe not broadcast his quarter life crisis to everyone to see? And mingyu and eunwoo aren’t real friends by the slightest😭😭😭 where is his family? His brother? Anyone? JIMIN?? Like whatever road he is going on won’t end well. Trying so hard to succeed in Hollywood which is known to be the most toxic industry on earth and the people in control are willing to take everything away from you just so they can get their money. And he is with scooter Braun out of all people. Literally the worst. Like he is literally throwing temper tantrums. Boy this is the industry you chose. Like I understand you had to give up a lot but like he needs someone genuine in his life. Someone to guide him before he throws himself in some serious shit just because he can’t control his phases and wants to seek “cool”. Like bro we get it many people think your cool and have been thinking that since you debuted. Koreans and international fans alike.

I don’t know what his current relationship with jimin is and if they were even ever more than friends because he just seems like a very lonely person. I think ms will be a very big change for him. He needs to step off the limelight for a good while and reassess what he wants and who he is. Because it feels like he has been in a constant battle for quite a while now lol.

anon ily 😭😭 you're literally putting into words everything I'm too scared to because I don't want people to call me a hypocrite for judging JK but... it is, truly, 'sinister'.

I'm not expecting jimin to parent him or anything but do they even talk about the big things atp or do they just fuck? because how did jk not learn anything from him? has that man not conquered his public image perfectly? jk was literally in the studio working on face, was that not what that album was about? finding yourself???

I feel like his 'friends' and family all tell him 'what's there to complain about you're literally bts' and management only sees the media buzz of 'loving idol who meets fans frequently' and no one cares that he's obviously going through something in these lives? pointing a camera at himself saying "I'm just doing all of this naturally with no thoughts" but his brain is so scrambled up with thoughts that he can't go a second without contradicting himself. trying to make a coherent sentence but failing. doesn't know what to do with fans, doesn't know what to do with fame. he doesn't even know what he wants except MORE. just deep deep in some type of denial or just plain immaturity

he needs to be humbled, and quickly. looking at the average idol lifespan since literally the start of kpop, when jungkook debuted he should have been expecting nothing else but to be RETIRED by now. it was only through sheer luck that bts did what they did and are still even active a decade later I don't think he understands how close he was to being a failed solo singer turned gym instructor by now. all he ever knew was steadily going UP and now he's moved the goalpost so far for himself he can't see how ridiculous he's being. fucking scooter brown...

he himself is the sole argument we need against debuting idols underage because bro has internalized the panopticon and is struggling to grow up in every sense of the word and I feel bad for even being one of the eyes on him. he's a person for real but most people (including himself) only see him as our entertainment.

no matter how we look at it, the military will be a much needed reset...

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hey!! this might be really long and if so i'm sorry for that, just trying to figure some stuff out.

okay basically, i'm a cis female and idk what my sexuality is. i've never been in a relationship, never had strong feelings for anyone, i've kissed three boys all in club settings, and i am so confused.

i think women are pretty?? and i love looking at them in a respectful, 'you're so gorgeous way', and men are good looking in a very different way to me but i still think i'm attracted to them

i'd like to kiss a girl but i can't ever see myself being in a relationship with one. and i don't know if that is some sort of internalised homophobia that i need to address or if it's just lack of experience, bc i don't think i can see myself with a guy. or maybe a can because it's what i see all around me???

and then the idea of being approached by a women in a sexual/romantic way scares me. is that just lack of experience??

and then i've had multiple people say to me 'are you sure you aren't gay?' and other things along those lines in a non-serious way, and if i am queer, i feel like i'm proving them right, and how did i not see or realise this sooner?? like i should've known right?? if everyone else did??

and a lot of my friends are queer and i feel really safe and accepted with them, so i don't know if i just want to be apart of that and am simply creating issues that aren't even there to begin with??

but then i've dreamt about being with women and straight women don't have them?? right?

then i tell myself i don't have to know right now, but it seems like everyone else but me knows. i'm 20 yrs old and i have NO idea about anything, and maybe that's okay? plus sexuality is fluid? and always changing so maybe i'll never know?

this was very messy and i'm sorry for that, but if you have any advice or thoughts, i'd be so grateful, i'm so overwhelmed right now. - a <3

Hi hi hi A!! Don’t worry about it long rambly asks are totally fine I’m here for u homie

Wow bro ur getting some action 😭 😭 can we switch places lmao

Oh wow you’re 20?? Okay disclaimer, I am a teenager haha so take everything I say with a pinch of salt bc I explored this whole sexuality thing when I was like 13, so we’ve had v different experiences but I’ll try my best to help u out bro I gotchu

What do you mean by “in a different way?” That can mean two things. Do you find women pretty objectively and men like ATTRACTIVE, or are you attracted to both men and women in different ways?

The whole being scared thing is, as my generation would say, a Big Mood. It could be either internalised homophobia or lack of experience or maybe you just don’t like women at all.

In terms of dreaming about being with women, that could mean anything or nothing. Dreams are just your subconscious putting everything in a blender and pouring the smoothie of hell into your sleep brain. It could mean you want to be with women or it could mean that shit in ur skull is just fucking around.

Honey you do NOT have to know right know. You’re twenty. That’s like. You’ve lived like 25% of your life, approximately. That’s jack shit. That’s not even the pass mark on most tests. You have got SO MUCH of your life left to live, you’ve got like decades and shit man, you don’t gotta have everything down right now. Talk to like ur parents or older friends and see *how much* life you have ahead of you.

It’s possible that this may also be contributing to that whole young adult early 20s “oh my god everyone else knows everything and i’m floundering” but honey trust me EVERYONE is floundering. Everyone is fucked. People seem put together but trust me dude we are all goddamn messes. You’re not alone. So many people are trying to figure themselves out, just like you.

Imma be fr thinking about this shit? Overrated. You’ll just think urself into another spiral and it’ll be the mental equivalent of doing like 19 buzzfeed quizzes titled “Am I Gay?” at 3:41am and wondering where ur life is going.

Just. Stop thinking. I know it’s hard trust me I have shitass anxiety and it’s so so hard to stop thinking but stop. Tell ur brain to stfu

And then just think of one thing. what makes you HAPPY?

Because that’s all that matters in the long run, doesn’t it?

Kiss a girl and see if it makes you happy. Kiss a guy and ask yourself the same thing.

If I were you, what I would personally do is just uhhh fuck around and find out? Go to a bunch of clubs and just be really slutty til things eventually make sense lmaoo

But once again that’s not for everyone so maybe just try and think about it. Does the idea of being with a girl make you happy? With a guy? Being single?

Also one idea might be for you to explore the aromantic label—you said you’ve never had strong feelings for anyone and it sounds like you might be aro. Look under my #aro questioning tag and check out these posts:

Remember, A, there’s no time limits on these things. There’s no deadlines. You’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, so take it slow and just be HAPPY and be true to yourself. Bend society to fit you—don’t bend yourself to fit labels, yknow what Im saying? Labels aren’t all that important at the end of the day. Just. Just *be.*

I hope I could help you out A!! Sending so so much love <3333 If you ever wanna talk again feel free to drop me an ask!! Have an awesome day <33

[6okuto]

how'd u know i love to talk about myself and overshare. Wehehe... thank u for the tag!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️

started writing: Omfg. tried writing a luke hemmings x reader fic on wattpad when i was definitely not supposed to have wattpad almost a decade (🤯) ago. i don't think i wrote more than a few chapters before deleting it so my irl could follow me LOL

also tried writing one (1) jungkook thing when i was like 14 (it had like no plot & was mostly metaphors. sooo embarrassing thinking back on how my irls read it 😭💔), but then i didn't write again until tumblr 😭 some of you have watched my main writing journey from the start

started blogging: well known(?) nia lore… first post was december 2021… accidentally posted my asra relationship headcanons and here we are! but i was a lurker for a couple years i think

followers: 5.6k.... bizarre considering the long droughts i've put u all through + i only Rlly write for haikyuu 😭 i'm sure many are inactive or bots but 5k is still nonsensical like i'm just a girl fr… love u guys 🫵🩷💌 thank u 4 rocking w me.

communication: i don't. it's bad. i'm so bad dawg i'm so sorry to u all 😭 but i appreciate Every interaction and message !!!! 🥹🥹 i see an inbox/dm notif and go (!! :D !!)... i smile at my screen and think about ur message and how i could respond.. i pinky promise U r all Always On My Mind!! even if i don't reply to ur reaction I see it and go !! :00 YIPEE !!

really sorry i don't approach people…even moots... i DO really want to talk but i Still struggle to even follow people (back) because i get nervous. what if u don't want me to follow u. what if u think i’m stupid. i still only follow like 60 blogs because of this. fawk my stupid Baka LIFE bro IM SORRY 😭💔 i'm trying. i feel miserable and lonely when i think about this IMGONAN TRY HARDER PLS WAIT 🫵!!! thank u everypony who messages me despite it all. I will cry and wail and sob in front of u /pos /very grateful ☹️🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

for me,, i Love leaving long reblog tags but i can get overwhelmed(?) at the thought so it can take ages to actually reblog ;; i also try 2 make it clear i rock heavy w interaction.. i hope i give off a friendly aura. pls. how i talk here is exactly what my irls get too,, ur all my friends. it's just that i'm akin to a scared cat that takes months to be comfortable ☹️

likes: they're alright!! i don't mind spam liking, it's kinda fun to watch and i've never dealt with any shadowbanning because of it.. i don't know where that idea came from to be honest 😭?? i appreciate them & i get why leaving tags can be nerve-wracking or awkward to do at first, so don't worry ! 👍👍

i do wish the ratio of likes to tagged rbs/comments was better, but i found a post from a couple years ago where i talked about how my ratio was also only like 10% rbs (not taking into account which actually had tags) so it's never been very good/gotten better… it was better with multi-chara posts—i'd post late at night and wake up giddy to read all the tags but that doesn't really happen anymore.. probably both because of my posts and how the community has changed.. it's disheartening to say the least so i try not to check a lot anymore 😭 just try to write what makes me happy 👍

requests: general relationship hcs r OK to ask for. but other than that they'll stay closed… i push myself to write a certain amount minimum and then get tired… and i feel so bad when i don't get to one/i'm not inspired… they sit there for months and months like girl just let it go.

i think they're still good and fun for events though! and i like when people ramble or just share thoughts with me so i don't Have to write a full post ^__^

writing: let me get all of This out of the way. i think i've gotten less creative over time tbh.. and a lot of my ideas are fun to daydream about but feel flat or boring or too short when i try to write them… and i wish i was more concise,, had better descriptions,, filled the work with more than action beats and movement (or Stopped adding them and just let the dialogue exist),, could write fun au’s and stuff other than fluff oneshots…

i have a lot of thoughts but,, it's all still fun when i've locked in!!! i really like writing and i'm probably not as bad as i think, but i'll keep trying 2 improve on the things i listed. i think i've gotten a little better atp at least!!! 🙂‍↕️🫡

hcs are generally easier to write, plus i get to be silly and ramble 👍 that's why i didn't even Write oneshots in the beginning… twas scary.. especially bc i had no experience w them...

i don't even consider myself a Slow Writer i'm just not creative. LOL. literally just no ideas. if i had them i'd write more 😭 will try to do more short .txt posts..

dialogue is still my strong point. pretty much all my fics start as what could be described as scene scripts 👩🏻‍💻 i try hard to make it fun but still realistic,, and i think my characterization is pretty good.. hopefully... (;ﾟ∇ﾟ) maybe not my smaus LOL

and i don't really write angst anymore but i'm alright at it! 👍 i also have my moments writing nsft stuff and part of me wants to make a sideblog for it but,, IDK. we'll see.

i also want to write for more fandoms but.. scary. scawyyy... scawy... or just more for the ones i Have written for tbh. LOL. cove... may ask for ideas 4 him 🫡

works i'm proud of. umm. …

notes wise idk for sure, i'm assuming it's clingy boyfriends with 14k and flustering moments with 12k. all my old multi-charas did well. I ROCK W THIS! they're rlly fun to do when i actually have an idea to work with, and they Take Time, so i'm not mad they did so well tbh. i'd like to do some again ^^

i liked the iwaizumi sitting on the lawn one but i didn't like the ending… confusing mood and not what i wanted so i deleted it ;; you know it's serious when i actually delete a post guys. but i was cooking! tried hard on it and it was fun to do :3 will maybe go back and revise the ending some day...

i also liked “the most attractive person in the room” !! largely because i got to write banter, but also i was pushing myself to write more than Action beats and Movement so i was happy with myself ^__^

the smau where they react to your new post... i don't even like the actual reactions that much,, but people liked the different reader pics and that made me really happy !! 🙂‍↕️ i want to do another part but i'd have to remake all the accounts so 😮‍💨😭

#THROWBACK, this post for LL where mc wanted to go back to earth. who's rocking with nia 6okuto angst. i miss writing it sometimes LOL i remember really liking writing this one.. the ideas just kept coming...

and here's a Bunch of parts of fics i'm probably never going to finish / post bc i have nopony to (not nervously) tag so. u might as well get something + i like them. yaaayyy!!! ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦）ノ

(1 + 2, 3 + 4 (copium fic. mb if the beginning is cringe.), 5, 6, 7, 8)

Behind the scenes of a Tumblr Writer - Tag Game

Hey there, I love behind the scenes and since this is something that's rarely talked about, let me start the chain... if you feel uncomfortable with a question, just skip it. You can add some if you want as well.

Started writing: I wrote my first Harry Potter fanfic at age 10. Started posting around 15,16 years old. I'm now 31, so...

Started blogging: I started on a German fanfiction site around 2010/11 I think. Might have been earlier too, but back then I was mostly reading, no posting. I really started when I got into One Direction (very late, tbh)

Followers: Currently at 961, which is wild to me. I don't even know that many people IRL. I convince myself that half of them are bots tbh, so I don't freak out all the time.

Communication: The people I talk to regularly are: a few writers who answered after I constantly reblogged and commented on their works and a few people who commented and reblogged my work. Writing and blogging on here can be pretty lonely, depending on your personality and the time you're active (I'm from Europe and a lot of my followers seem to be living in Northern America, so there's the Timezone thing) ... And I found that the best way to strike a conversation is to reblog, comment, and to not be shy. I do wish I got more asks, though....

Likes: I actually filter them out. I have 793 original posts up at the moment. It doesn't give me anything to know how many likes a fic has other than to tell me which characters are liked more than others or maybe that one fic does especially well. My activity only shows me comments, asks, reblogs with tags, and answers to my own asks. I live for the tags and the comments.

Requests: I love talking to people about ideas. That's how I started the plotbunny game because I have so many ideas and so little time. And sometimes an idea just doesn't want to be written out fully. Requests are fun because YAY, I get some mail... but then I freak out because I don't really know how to write this NOW and then I freak out because it's been a week already, two weeks, wait, two months? I'd rather have suggestions where people tell me vague things like "I'd love to read something about this side character" or "Have you ever considered this character with a soulmate trope"? because then I don't have the feeling of failing the request when I write it a little bit differently.

Writing: I am a fast writer. I know that's one of my talents. I can churn out a oneshot of 1k words in less than an hour. People read slower than I write. That can suck sometimes because you've just posted this and you want to know what people are thinking but they're not as fast as you are. I do have a lot of ideas. I want to write constantly but my brain doesn't always want to. I am trying to respect that.

There are also certain things that I just feel wrong writing. I cannot write anything suggestive (I also don't like reading it) and everything past that gives me panic attacks. I can hardly write mean characters and jealousy feels so wrong to me that I cannot write it. I've also overdone it with the soulmark trope and now I feel like everything I write about it feels lifeless.

I write best in the mornings before going to work, but I don't have much time there. I don't need special music (but it helps), but I need to have at least some energy left and at best, no distractions. But I have been writing for over 20 years, so I will say experience helps a lot.

Tagging: @revasserium @shoulmate @lemurzsquad @screamin-abt-haikyuu @toomanygoldfish @satorisoup @emmyrosee @reverie-starlight @alienaiver and @writingsofanomnivore and everyone else who wants to join