#I'm taking today and tomorrow off from all school activities and need something to watch at work tonight so I think I'm going to start this

[voluptuarian]

the amount of horny I'm seeing over the ghoul in this new Fallout show is giving me faith in it. This is like, the coalmine canary but good. If a show is successfully providing one half of what a Fallout experience should be, wild ghoul-thirst is Exactly what I should be seeing.

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Black Reader - Volunteer

Summary - Ruben wants to celebrate Man City winning another PL title. However, Reader won't be able to join him.

Enjoy!

You thought that your life would change, dating someone like Ruben Dias. Although there were some drastic changes, mainly the sudden invasion of privacy from strangers claiming to know and judging everything about you. Other than that, your life was normal.

You were even able to keep your day job as a middle school teacher, at least up until the point that it became irrational for you to take as many days off as you did when traveling with Ruben to his many away games. Although your hours as a teacher were reduced by quitting your job, you never forgot where you came from and always went back to volunteering whenever they needed you. Like this weekend, for instance.

The summer holidays were closing in. Although most children were looking forward to it, others, less fortunate kids, dread the feeling of being trapped at home without anywhere to go for ten weeks. Especially children from troubled backgrounds where their parents were known alcoholics.

In this case, the school always used the last days of the term to cheer up the children with fun activities, sponsored by the local churches and volunteers like yourself signing up to help out.

"If we win the league, I'm taking you to Ibiza."

"If you win?" You giggled. Ruben came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth. He was so eager to start the last game of the season for Man City. Today was the day his team could make Premier league history by becoming the first team to secure four back to back titles.

"Yes, if we win. Nothing is for certain." He said, darting his toothbrush at you.

You shook your head. Ruben was just being daft. City would win their game today against West Ham, and they would win it easily.

A few hours later, as you watch the refeee blow the final whistle, Manchester City were champions once again.

"Baby, what did I say!" Ruben cheered. "Start packing your fucking bags."

It was hysterical. The scenes at the Ethiad stadium were very hysterical, with fans invading the pitch from all directions. You were a little afraid to step onto it yourself. However, Ruben would be very disappointed if you didn't. In the joyous state that he was in, he would've probably climbed the stands and carried you onto the pitch himself.

"Did I tell you how much I fucking love you?" Ruben pressed a wet kiss to your forhead before running off with his teammates, all of them celebrating like a pack of hooligans. It was all very hysterical and brilliant at the same time.

"I can't find my mommy."

Walking around the pitch, taking it all in, how happy and proud Ruben must be of himself and his teammates, you suddenly bumped into a child who seemed a bit dissoriented and anxious to be reunited with his parents.

"Have you lost your mother?" You asked, kneeling down to be at eye level with the boy.

"Yes, I think she went with daddy?"

"Alright, let's go find mommy and daddy then. Would you like that?"

The boy nodded and felt safe enough to accept your offer to hold his hand.

"Oh my God, Rome!"

It didn't take long for you to find out who the child belonged to. You had practically been looking for each other.

"Shit Y/N, you found him."

"He actually found me." You smiled and watched Kevin de Bruyne reunite with his son.

"I don't know how to thank you. Michele was so worried."

"All is well now."

"Yeah, thanks to you."

It was something, seeing a father's relief. Sometimes you wonder if Ruben would be like that, a caring father?

"Will we see you tonight?" Kevin asked, little Rome in his arms.

"Tonight?"

"Yes, for the celebration party?"

"Oh, that." It sounded fun, truly. But you had a long week ahead, starting tomorrow.

You had to get to the school early to help the other volunteers set everything up. You explained this to Kevin, who seemed to understand.

"To be honest, I'm not one for parties either. It's sounds like fun, volunteering."

"You should try it." You said. And with that, Kevin left to find his wife and their other children while you went to collect an ecstatic Ruben before he hurt himself.

"What do you mean you're not coming with me to the party?"

Unlike Kevin, Ruben didn't take the news as well. The two of you returned home, with Ruben noticing that you weren't getting ready to go out, like him.

"Well, I have to get up early tomorrow."

"So?"

"Ruben? "

"Come on baby, it's not everyday I win a championship?"

"Four in a row, Ruben. You've literally won four in a row." And you had been there to witness two of them.

He grinned. "Isn't it lovely?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Come on, baby." Ruben trailed your steps through the apartment. "What about Ibiza, we leave right after the City parade. Please tell me you're coming with me to that?"

"The parade, or Ibiza?"

"You're kidding me right?"

"Ruben." You sighed. "I've told you how important volunteering for the kids is to me."

"But won't there be other volunteers?"

"No, Ruben, they're gonna need all hands on deck, we're already very short staffed."

"Because the school is so run down. Why would anyone want to volunteer there?"

You paused, mouth wide open.

"What?"

"I can't believe you just said that."

"It's the truth."

"Ruben, that school has been there for all my life. I grew up going to that school." You felt yourself getting rallied up. How could Ruben be so stubborn about this when he knew how important your job was to you?

"Okay, look...." He whipped out his phone in one last attempt to win you over. "Just give me the number of the principal, and I'll make sure to forward a nice little donation to the school, of course in the return that you will come with me to Ibiza. There, problem solved."

"No, Ruben!" You groand. "The only problem I have right now is you not hearing me out."

"Come on baby, let's not fight. The car will be here in a minute."

"Ruben! Do you even hear yourself right now? I get wanting to celebrate with your teammates, but you're gonna have to accept the fact that I'm NOT coming with you!"

That seemed to do it.

That was the end of the shouting.

Disappointed, Ruben left for the party without you. And you went to bed with a headache that would last all week.

It was only around Wednesday that you no longer thought of your heated argument with Ruben. By then, the title celebrations in England were over, with Ruben hopping on a plane to take him and his friends straight to Ibiza.

Perhaps it was for the best that you spent sometime apart. You were too emerged in your volunteer work anyway.

"Miss Y/N, can you go on the waterslide with me? I'm scared."

"Scared?"

With the church donations, the school was able to set up a blow-up waterslide. All children seemed to enjoy it, although you admit that the construction looked very steep.

"Yes, I'm scared so will you ride it with me?"

"Erm....I don't know Nelson. I didn't bring any swimwear."

"Oh, okay." The boy muttered.

"I'll go with you on the slide."

The boy gasped, eyes wide as he perked up. "Kevin de Bruyne!"

You snapped your head back and were equally surprised. "Kevin? What are you...."

"Hey everyone, it's Kevin de Bruyne!" Nelson shouted, alerting a flock of children to head your way.

Kevin smiled. "Ruben forwarded the address and said you might need a hand."

"He did?"

Cheering children cane running towards you, and soon Kevin was ambushed by all of them.

Behind him was his wife, Michele, and their kids. "I guess my kids better hurry up and get on the slide now, while my husband distracts the others." She smiled.

"Um...help yourself." You stammered, not really sure how this came to be.

"Y/N?"

And as if things weren't strange enough, John Stones and Kyle Walker came walking through the school gates. They had also brought along their families. "Ruben promised there would be food." Kyle said.

"Um, there is." You pointed towards the table next to the grill.

"Great. Kids, run along. Daddy has to eat."

"I'm sorry about him." John smiled, giving you a hug. "It was all pretty last minute of Ruben to invite us. I didn't even know that the two of you were volunteers."

"Neither did I." You frowned. "You said Ruben invited you?"

"Yeah." John nodded. "I think he messaged everyone in the Man City group chat. The rest are probably on their way."

"The rest?" You looked to the gates, and indeed, some very nice cars were seen pulling up to the school parking lot. You recognized everyone of Ruben's teammates, including their family's. Even some of the City staff members were seen entering the school yard.

"I think we're gonna need more food." The principal, who appeared behind you, said. She looked more excited than anxious, peering her head to see who was next to walk through the gates. Your heart skipped at the sight of him, Ruben, carrying the child of his teammate Bernardo Silva.

"I know he is your sagnificant other..." The principal said as the two of you watched Ruben make his way over. "But I figured he'd be too busy with the celebrations of winning the league. I didn't want to come off as too forward by asking you to invite him. You know....for the children."

"Right."

"I'm glad you did it anyway."

"I actually...didn't." You turned around to see that the principal was gone. She had joined the children to watch Kevin de Bruyne go down the water slide.

"I think that's everyone?"

You turned around to find Ruben and Bernardo standing before you. They were looking around the crowded school yard, kids mixed with the newly crowned title winners. It was surreal, with everyone, even the volunteers looking to enjoy themselves.

"It's a good thing you got going here." Bernardo said, unhanding Ruben his child. "Make sure to invite us to the next one."

"Um...sure." You stammered, to which Ruben smiled. The two of you were left standing. Ruben towering over you like a tree. He stretched out his arms. "Suprise."

A smiled crept your face. You gave in, stepping forward to let him warp his giant arms around you.

"What about Ibiza?" You said, tilting your head.

Ruben looked down, eyes beaming brightly at you. "I was wrong, and you we right, I'm sorry."

You smiled. "Thank you."

He bent down, capturing your lips with his own. "You're there for my important stuff." He whispered. "It's only right that I should be there for your important stuff too."

"Oh, Ruben."

He kissed you again, assuring you that he was indeed in it for the long hall.

[sirsell]

I'm here

Quick authors note: This is the sixth chapter of my story I'm here. You can find the first chapter here.

I'm more active on Wattpad so feel free to come check out my page over there

English is not my first language so please correct me if you find any mistakes.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Three weeks had gone by since then and now I was sitting on the couch in Scarlett's New York Apartment. Our flight had arrived around 5pm and now it was 7pm and I was sitting on the couch, after I was told to sit and wait while she made dinner. "Baby. Dinners ready, if you want you can come into the kitchen." I turned my head and saw Scarlett standing in the kitchen, her back to me. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and she was wearing a big, white sweater. I got up and walked towards the kitchen. "You need help?" I asked, looking around, trying to find something to do. "No, it's all good. Go sit down and wait. I thought maybe we could go shopping tomorrow. To get some stuff for your room and for the school." Scarlett suggested and I nodded. "Okay, but you really don't need to pay for me. I've got everything I have." I quickly said, giving her a short smile.

"Lottie. Your shoes are like two numbers to small, you don't have anything for your new school and almost new clothes. We need to get you some stuff." She answered quickly and I just shrugged, but she just smiled and put the pot with noodles onto the table, before she set the table with two plates and cutlery.

"What do you want to drink? We've got water or apple juice." "Uhm water please." She nodded and poured water into my glass. "I hope you like it." She smiled and we started to eat. Even though it was a simple dish it was nice and better than anything I would've had at home right now. "I was thinking we could watch a movie after dinner." I nodded a little, but didn't give her a specific answer. So she just sighed but nodded. "If you'd like, we could watch one of your old movies. You know one of those you played in as a kid." She asked and gave me a big smile. "Sure. If you'd like." She laughed out loud. "Most actors don't want to see their old movies." "Well I've never seen them apart from the premiere."  She looked surprised. "Really? We gotta see them. Which movie was it again. The last Mimzy and The legend of Longwood. Right?"  I nodded and continued to eat. Scarlett was dine and waited for me to finish. But I was slowly getting full. "I'm done." I mumbled and she nodded but I could see that she wasn't satisfied and wanted me to eat more. "Alright. I'll clean up. You go sit down and see if you find the movies on Netflix or something. " "Kay." I got up and sat back down on the couch, turning the TV on and scrolling through the Pay TV options till I found The Last Mimzy. 

"Look what I found." Scarlett took a seat next to me and put down two small bowls with sweets. "Let's start." I leaned back as I watched the movie. Every now and then I started to laugh at the memories of filming the movie coming back. "Thanks for watching this movie with me." 

"Come on let's get you to bed." She gave me a little smile while turning the TV off. I nodded and followed her up the stairs. "This is your room. Tomorrow we'll pick up some stuff you like, but if you need something tonight. Just tell me okay?" I nodded and gave her a short smile. "Thanks."She nodded and gave me a short hug, before she left the room. I opened my bag and pulled out my Pj's. The lamp in the bathroom flickered when I turned it but it illuminated the small room. I slipped on my Pjs and brushed my teeth before turning the light off and curling up under the blanket. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, since I was absolutely exhausted. 

The next thing I knew was Scarlett gently shaking me awake. "Good morning." I looked up at her before lifting my arm and putting my hand over my eyes, in hopes to block out the light. "Morning." I mumbled back. "Get up Lottie. We have a lot to do today." I sighed but sat up and started getting ready for the day. Scarlett was already waiting in the kitchen, fully dressed, wearing makeup, completely awake and most importantly she had finished preparing breakfast. "After we finished breakfast we'll go shopping. You need new clothes and some stuff for school and if you want things for your room." I just nodded while drinking the hot chocolate she had put down in front of me. She handed me a bowl of oatmeal and fruits.

"I think we should go there first."  She said about forty minutes later in the middle of a shopping center. I followed her gaze to the H&M and just nodded, not caring as long as we'd be home soon. "Do you like this?" She held up a dark blue sweater and I nodded, thankfully she wasn't showing me a dress. "Yeah that's nice." She sighed, but nodded. "Why don't you take a look for  yourself and pick some stuff you like? When you come back I'd like to see five things that you'd like to wear, okay?" "Okay." I started to walk around the store and look at the clothes just to come back with three sweaters, two black with a white print and one dark blue, and a checkered shirt. She nodded and started to pull out stuff in exactly my style, almost every thing she showed me I liked. 

"Okay now shoes and school things." The blonde said as she pulled me to the register and paid, making me feel bad. "I'll pay you back." I promised but she just shook her head. "You're officially my daughter, stop thinking about it." I nodded, but was still biting on my lip. "Now let's go there." I followed her into a stationary store, where apart from dozens of pencils I also had to choose notepads. "You'll need them once you go back to school." Because apparently I'd start a new school here in New York in a few days. A new school with new teachers and new students. I had tried to persuade Scarlett to teach me at home but she was against it. 'You need friends your age'. Was her argument and afterwards she ended the discussion.

By now we were back in the apartment, where I was laying on my bed trying to sleep. Tomorrow we'd decorate my room and since we had been out for most of the day Scarlett had sent me to bed early, but I couldn't sleep. Restless I turned from side to side, trying to relax, counting sheep, but nothing helped. After a whole while of restless moving I got up to get me something to drink. "Lottie why are you still awake?" Apparently Scarlett was also awake, since she was sitting at the table, looking through some files. "Can't sleep." I mumbled, pouring myself a glass of water. "Why not?" She had closed the files and gave me her whole attention. I started to drink my water to get a second to gather my thoughts, but in the end I just shrugged and put the glass into the sink. "Come I'll get you back to bed." She gently pulled me with my hand back into my room, where she got into bed next to me and started to stroke through my hair. "Close your eyes baby." She whispered and her fingers were lightly scratching over my scalp, my head was laying close to her chest, so I could hear her heart beat slow and calm. Lulling me to sleep. "Good night." I heard and felt her lips onto my forehead and fell asleep.

*Scarletts P.o.V.* 

I watched the sleeping child in my arms. Her hair was open and framed her calm face. Her breath was calm and I felt her whole body relax. While watching her I remembered the file I had read just before. It was a recommendation from her social worker to take her to a psychologist, before the trial would start, because she had to give her statement and we were worried she wouldn't be able to give it, without breaking down. I already knew she'd hate it, but it would probably help her. Maybe she'd sleep better and feel less scared to do something wrong.

[bestruction]

Getting high with them for the first time

N/A: If you do drugs do it safely

My masterlist

- Eren Jaeger

He's not the type of guy who pressured you to use, let alone say you're immature or coward for it. When you decide to try it, it's genuinely your idea, and who better than your boyfriend to teach?

That's how you end up in his room, with the door and windows lock to make sure the smell doesn't catch his parent's attention. You sat on the carpet while he carefully rolls the joint so that the cigarette holder doesn't fall.

“Tighten your lips like this and take a deep breath through your mouth” He took a short drag before releasing the smoke “But not too long since this is your first time your throat is not used to the smoke”

You nod and accept the cigarette doing as he said. You feel the smoke warm your mouth, watch it hoover before your eyes after blowing and wait for...Nothing. No different sensation, no tingling, literally nothing.

"I don't think it worked"

“It is not like a switch. Wait a minute, babe ”

You talk a little about the day-to-day of the two and then go to play something new that he had bought. After a few games and a few more huffs, you still don't feel any difference or anything. You even try to hold the smoke in your mouth for a longer time, which results in you coughing incessantly and Eren laughing in your face. Hearing him laugh has always been one of your favorite things. The way he bends his body and laughs out loud without shame until he blushes always makes you laugh together with him, like now.

You laugh, laugh until your body asks for air and needs to alternate between laughter and breathing. You feel calm, relax as if you had lifted a weight off your shoulders. You lay on the carpet feeling the softness of the fabric against your skin ... Was it always that soft? So silky? So comfortable? You close your eyes and rub your hand over the texture, and then the smell of Eren's citric perfume invades your nose. When you opened your eyes, jade eyes were watching you closely.

"I think it has taken effect now, huh?" He says stroking your hair. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" He asks, getting on top of you.

"A few times"

“Then I’m going to tell you again: you’re beautiful” he kisses your lips “So damn beautiful” He kisses your chin “Every single part of you” And now your jaw.

You two spent the afternoon making out on the floor and praising each other. Not because you were high, I mean, not only, but because being so sensitive brought it even more evident how much you wanted each other.

- Levi Ackerman

You had a horrible week. It seemed that everything that could go wrong over the course of seven days had made a point of happening even worse than you imagined. When you got home even after taking a long hot shower and lying in bed, you're unable to relax.

"If you keep turning from side to side, I won't sleep either" Murmured Levi.

"I know. Sorry"

"I'm not complaining. Come here" He pulls you to lie on his chest "Better?"

"A little bit"

"Just a little bit?" He smiles softly "You can try what I do when I get like this"

"Do you mean the mushrooms?"

"If you want to"

You two get out of bed and go to the kitchen. He takes a clear plastic bag from the fridge and places it in front of you. Levi is not the type of guy who gets high all the time. It's more like an escape for when his stress is too high, like yours. He already used it when you met him, and even if you didn't, you never saw a problem with it.

"Just it?"

"I can make tea if you prefer"

"Why don't you use weed like everyone else?"

"Too much work. To roll, check for purity. With mushrooms, I just need to buy and chew them ”

"Well, bon appetit"

You two eat the frozen mushrooms. The taste is not so bad, but it is not a good thing and the smell reminds you of something that had been removed from the forest, which makes sense. Levi suggests that you lie down on the sofa in the living room to watch a movie. There was no need to worry about tomorrow as it would be a day off for both of you.

Lying on Levi's lap and watching the TV, the colors start to shine before your eyes. You didn't remember the white wall looking so vivid, or the pixels on the TV seeming to slow down when you focused on a specific point. It was your house, but it didn't look real. You felt inside a peaceful dream, and inside that dream, you fell asleep forgetting about your nightmare week.

- Armin Arlert

It's your idea. It's Mikasa's birthday party, and Connie had taken some ecstasy pills from whoever wants to use them. So you take two, drag your boyfriend to the bathroom and lock the door.

"You don't have to do it with me if you don't want to, Armin"

"I'm curious too," He says, staring at the little pink pills on your hand.

Armin swallows one, and you do the same after him.

Armin swallows one, and you do the same after him. You want the experience to be as safe as possible. Then both sit in the bathtub and wait for the effect while talking. About half an hour later, you notice how dilated are the pupils of the blond in front of you. Your hearing is a little muffled, and you feel happy and light for no apparent reason. A slight tingle comes and goes through your body, like a wave spreading that sensation across your skin.

You go over to Armin and sit on his lap. He smiles at you, and more than ever, you want to kiss him until you're out of breath, and he's not different from you.

Armin takes your hand between his and brings it to his mouth. He spreads small, short kisses on your hand. You focus on the feeling of his lips running over your skin. You are so damn sensitive even his breathing makes you shiver.

As if a magnetic force pulls you both, you two kiss, letting that soft cloud of pleasure envelop you both. When Armin presses you against his body, deepening the kiss and tasting your mouth, you want to break the laws of physics and be able to occupy the same place as him. You want to become one with him.

And the two of you may not be able to do it, but you certainly tried A LOT in that bathroom.

- Jean Kirstein

Jean is handsome, tall, friendly, and intelligent. So when he starts to be invited to every possible party in college, you’re not surprised. You two have been dating since high school, and you don't feel jealous if he goes to parties alone but he always finds a way to convince you to accompany him with some excuse. Like,  that it would be a lot more fun if you're next to him.

Today, this is one of those times when he convinces you. It's not that you don't like parties kind of, but a party full of strangers doesn't seem like the most attractive thing to you. Then after dancing and talking to people for a long time, he drags you to one of the rooms in the house to give you a well-deserved break.

"Thank you for coming with me," He said, hugging you from behind after closing the door.

"I'm going to want some compensation for that, Kirstein," You said, sitting down in an armchair that was there.

"How about ... That" Jean takes a bag with two white pills out of his pocket and tosses it towards you.

"What is it?"

"LSD"

"What kind of people have you been involved with?" You joke “If your mom knew what you've been up to, Jeanboo”

"Shut up" He sat next to her "If you want to try, I try"

It wouldn't be his first time getting high, he used to smoke weed with Eren in the basement since high school, but it would be yours. As I said, Jean is smart. You knew he had been wanting to try acid for some time. So of course, he had researched on.

Honestly? You are curious but afraid after so many speeches “don’t do drugs, kids”. Jean would never propose anything that could endanger the two of you, which is exactly why he only suggested it when you were alone, and if you said "no" it would be like it never happened.

"Is it just swallowing?"

"Put it under your tongue and let it dissolve"

You lie down on the floor and take it at the same time. It tastes bitter, but unlike any medicine, you've taken in your life.

It takes some time for it to start taking effect, but when it finally did you know. The sound of loud music, muffled by the walls of the room seems to be inside your head now. The colors tremble in front of you, mixing, moving, becoming more intense. You raise your hand towards the ceiling, and you don't feel like that's your hand. Everything seems surreal. You feel calm but active. It's like being very drunk, but the other way around.

Jean pulls you into his chest, and you can hear his heart pumping blood at full speed, like yours. You feel your throat dry, your body sweat, and your hands get cold.

If I could define that feeling with a word, it would definitely be intense.

You spent the night like that. Watching the furniture move and change shape, lying on the floor and without detaching from each other. At some point, you ended up sleeping, and after having the weirdest dream of your life, you woke up with Jean calling you carefully. The sun had already risen, and the house was silent, indicating that the party was over a long time ago.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, helping you to stand.

“Hungry and hungover”

He mumbles something about also being, and you go out to eat at the nearest cafeteria.

[fairestwriting]

Hi there and Happy spring! I'm new to your blog, so I hope I'm doing this right- anyway, can I request some fluff/romantic headcanons for Malleus, Silver, Sebek, Vil, and Epel sharing their first kiss with their fem s/o on a picnic please? Thank you!

happy spring to you as well!! i hope you enjoy your stay in this blog ^_^

as a side note, i just noticed i write so much stuff set outside the pomefiore building...and the diasomnia boys have picnics around ramshackle because near their building its just. thorns.

(by the way, i have a ko-fi now, so if anyone feels like supporting my writing you can do it there!)

Malleus Draconia

You’ve known that Malleus liked outdoor dates since you two started going out like this, so you decide to surprise him with a picnic date.

It wasn’t anything too...fancy. You ask him about his favorite snacks and do your best to prepare them, then lay down an old tablecloth near the Ramshackle building, somewhere you two could see the moon well.

It’s the evening when you’re bringing Malleus to the spot you’ve picked, chirping about your surprise for him, and when you get there and tell him about your picnic plans, he’s a bit confused -- You’re nervous, thinking he might not have liked it, but then you realize he just didn’t know exactly what a picnic was.

It’s up for you to guide him through the motions. You explain to him that it’s just eating outdoors, really, usually on the ground like this. He follows you curiously as you instruct him to sit down, and you go on about the things people commonly did during them like storing the food in a basket, and the tablecloths...

“I thought you might like it, since we go for walks here so much.” You explain, nervously fidgeting with your hands a bit. Malleus hadn’t said much yet, just watched.

He’s inexpressive enough you’re afraid he really didn’t like it, so you ask him about it, but then a small smile appears on Malleus’ lips.

“I must say I’m surprised." He admits, with a tenderness in his eyes that you haven't seen before. "I'm sorry for the silence, Child of Man. I was thinking about how to thank you. But I believe I've figured it out now."

You're about to question what he means -- But then Malleus kisses you softly, your thoughts leave your mind as your eyes flutter shut.

When he pulls away, he's still smirking. Maybe he had been planning that, somehow...

Silver

After a couple of dates with Silver, you had noticed you needed to come up with more... low-energy ideas, at least for a while, because his perpetual sleepiness seemed to have gotten especially bad.

You two brainstorm a bit over lunch, when Lilia butts into your conversation and suggests a picnic -- And it's actually a good idea, especially now that the spring weather left the outdoors feeling more pleasant than usual. You two agree on meeting up next afternoon near Ramshackle for it, where maybe it wouldn't be the prettiest date spot, but you'd definitely have some time for yourselves.

Each one of you bring some snacks that you like, you arrange a tablecloth, and soon you were ready for your quaint picnic date -- Silver sits next to you over the cloth, head leaning against your shoulder, and you eat some cookies he bought while chatting idly about school.

When he falls silent in the middle of you telling a story about what one of your classmates did yesterday, you already know what to expect -- And when you turn to look at him, your suspicions are confirmed.

Silver is asleep, leaning against you cutely. You know it's not because he's bored, by now, and you planned this date so it's okay if he dozes off, so you don't mind.

But he looks so cute like this, eyes fluttered shut and expression so peaceful. You set the cookie down on the container, letting your hand pet at his silky hair for a while as you stare. He really was so pretty -- You leave a gentle kiss on his forehead, letting your fingers sort through his whiteish locks, and he stirs, eyes beginning to open.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." You tease, smiling. Silver, still a bit half asleep, looks at you with half-lidded eyes. You're just about to assure him there's no issue he's dozed off -- Then suddenly his lips are on yours in a chaste, yet slow kiss.

"Retribution for you kissing me before." He explains, voice and smile drowsy as he does so, and returns to cuddle up to you.

Sebek Zigvolt

The picnic date is a product of your and Sebek’s current situation -- You’re his first girlfriend so he doesn’t know a lot of interesting date spots, it’s been exam season lately and you’re both tired, so something easy and simple seems ideal.

Today at lunch, right after your last exam, you tell him you have a surprise for him after all his activities. Sebek gives you a lecture about how he won’t put off any of his duties to see you, but after some coaxing you get him to cut some time from his studying, since exams were already over... and he comes to see you in the evening, at the exact time you had planned.

While he had been busy, you set up the picnic for both of you, and you show off proudly the food you got, put together over the tablecloth as you tell him to sit down -- Some you bought, some you made yourself. It’s mostly simple snacks, but there’s a sparkle in Sebek’s eyes.

You tell him it’ll be like a celebratory dinner for getting through such a difficult period in your school lives, and he’s actually quite excited for it. You sit down together and begin to eat, you listen to him talk about his day, everything is pretty sweet.

Pulling out some nice glasses you’d found stashed away at the Ramshackle attic, you suggest to Sebek that you have a celebratory toast, Sebek likes the idea, and you pour some juice for yourselves in it.

You two toast to your success in your exams cheerfully, he’s smiling quite brightly, happy to know that you’re proud of his efforts too -- As you sip your juice, you notice his face grows pink, you ask him what’s up. There’s a pause.

“...can I kiss you?” He asks, blurting out the question. You blink in surprise, blushing too, but you nod. Sebek blushes a bit more, he tentatively reaches forward... and his lips are on yours, all sweet and gentle. He smiles at you when he pulls away, happy to have had his first kiss with you -- Then you probably spill the forgotten juice on yourselves.

Vil Schoenheit

Isn’t really outdoorsy, so a picnic date isn’t the first romantic outing to come to his mind -- But when you two are taking a stroll on the woods close to Pomefiore and you mention how nice it’d be to have a picnic there, he gets the idea.

Vil liked surprising you like this, putting together all sorts of different dates to impress you, so he takes a couple days to make sure everything’s arranged nicely. He picks a nice spot on a flowering field, fills the basket with your favorite food, and on a Saturday morning, he comes to your dorm to tell you to wear your best sundress, you two are going on a picnic date.

You set up the picnic and eat together like any other meal you’d share, Vil points out the recipe for his favorite food items and fusses over you when you get breadcrumbs on your cheeks. The weather is nice, the sky is a bright blue, everything is so pleasant and you’re here, smile brighter than the sun itself.

He didn’t really bring you here with any second thoughts in mind but when you two are sharing a place of apple slices and you look around at the flowers with this dreamy look in your eyes, your beauty is so blinding to him, and he can’t help but remember he hadn’t kissed you just yet. Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“You’ve got something of mine on you,” He mutters, scooting closer, and during the second that you’re confused, about to ask what it was, Vil holds your chin delicately, tilting your face up as he steals a kiss from you.

Epel Felmier

Epel had been nervous since you two started going on dates, he really liked you and he wanted to do this right! So, lately he's been looking for good date ideas to impress you, and a picnic comes up.

He makes it a surprise! Tells you on Friday, fidgeting with his hands, that he wanted to meet up with you on the garden near the Pomefiore building tomorrow morning. When you get there, after some walking around the flowering bushes, you find Epel standing next to the little picnic setup, awkward but excited smile on his face.

It's a very classic setup -- The straw basket, the red checkered tablecloth. Epel actually has a sort of sappy, cliché romantic side to him. He announces the surprise, opening the basket to show you the food he's arranged for you two, mostly apple based snacks and some bread from the cafeteria. It's all so simple but so earnest you can't help but smile.

You two hang out like usual, chatting the pretty morning away, though it's visible in Epel's sudden cheerfulness that he's trying to impress you, and he feels as though he's succeeding, proud at himself for making his cute girlfriend happy.

"A-Ah, can I feed the cake to you?" He asks when he sees you've picked it up from the basket, and you decide to humor him. His eyes sparkle. You hand him the tupperware and the fork, and he takes a piece off the slice with it. "Say ah!"

You follow his suggestion, letting him feed you the piece of cake. You're a few forkfuls in now, all chuckles and content smiles as you chew your food, when his previously peppy expression falters a bit, and you see his face growing more red -- Well, he had been mostly just hyped about this, and being a good boyfriend, and all, but... he's taken off guard by how cute you can be.

You ask him what's wrong when he's setting the tupperware down, blushing like crazy, and he acts on impulse -- Even in all his clumsiness, Epel cups your face and surprises you with a kiss that lasts a while.

"What was that about?" You'll question, breathless and flustered, and he just mumbles, embarrassed, that you were acting too cute for him to handle, before quickly and excitedly asking to do it again.

[lis-likes-fics]

Intoxicated

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Reader Word Count: 7,877 words. JFC. I know, I know Warnings: Alcohol use, drug use, accidental overdose, and a lot of angst. Author’s Note: Okay.... I know. I got a little bit carried away again. Bite me. This is part two of Concussed. I’m super happy with it.

~~~~~

Y/N sighed as she stepped out of her car. Carlisle gave it to her after the accident, her car had exploded after the wreck. She didn't think Jacob would be able to fix that.

She just came back from her day at work at the Carver Café. She'd already graduated and decided to get a job for the money, but mostly just to keep her busy during the day when Carlisle was at work.

She locked the car and walked up to her door, digging in her bag for her keys while moving a strand of hair from her face. When her hands wrapped around the keys, she unlocked her door and walked inside, kicking off her shoes while closing the door behind her.

She set her bag on the table, picking up her phone to call Carlisle after her long day of work. The phone rang a few times as she waited, taking the dollar bills and loose change from her bag and moving it to her money jars.

When the phone didn't pick up, she furrowed her brow and called again. He never missed a call.

When the phone didn't pick up the second time, she started to get worried. She walked to her kitchen, stopping at the door as she looked at the counter. There was a paper, a letter.

She eyed it, wondering what the letter could have said. She saw the flawless signature at the bottom, Carlisle.

Why didn't he call or tell her in person?

She picked up the note and read it carefully:

"My dearest, Y/N,

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart because our hearts have come to dwell together as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Loving you is the only thing that makes my life worth living now.

I love you and I always will until my existence may come to an end. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.

You gave me comfort and confidence where there was doubt. I want to be there when you need to talk. I want to be the comfort for your soul. I want to love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I need you to be a part of my life. All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true.

But I can't be here for you without putting you in danger. You are my love, my life, my heart, my soul, and my everything. If I were to be the reason you get hurt, or worse, I would never be able to forgive myself.

So my family and I are leaving. In time, I hope you are able to move on and find someone who makes you feel whole, who makes you feel better than I ever could. You are a strong woman, so you don't need me. I know that you have the strength to pull through this so you can live a full, happy, and safe life.

I'm sorry for any pain I have ever caused you, I'm sorry for any pain I may cause you. I love you, and I will always love you.

Goodbye, my love.

Forever yours, Carlisle."

Her brain worked to process the letter, trying to let the words sink in. When they did, they hit her hard. It was worse than the car crash, the pain sinking into her body, followed by a cry.

Her legs came out from under her, unable to hold her up and support her. Tears sprang to her eyes and were instantly free falling. A strangled cry left her throat and she dropped the note.

Her head was buried in her legs. She didn't know how long she was there crying. The pain blinded and deafened her. All she could hear was his voice repeating "We're leaving."

Her whole being hurt, she felt her heart being torn in two.

He called her strong. He said she would be able to move on, in time.

He must have not realized just how self-destructive she was. He had become her life and he was leaving her. How could she move on from that?

"I don't want to lose you." Those were the words he told her that same night. Why was he leaving her without those words hanging in the air?

Why would he leave her?

~

Months had passed. Y/N was a wreck. She attempted going to the Cullen's house to see if it was some sick joke, but she could bring herself to go. She couldn't face the emptiness of that place.

She tried to check up on Bella, but she decided against it. Her mental health was crumbling, she would never be able to help Bella.

Y/N focused on work at the diner. Everyone noticed how lifeless she had become in such a short period of time. She was visibly deteriorating.

When she wasn't at the diner working herself to death, taking double shifts, triple shifts, quadruple shifts to keep her distracted, she was at her home with a bottle of something strong.

Since she lived next to the Chief, she was one of the people in town who people usually knew. Charlie had some sort of guardian responsibility over her after her grandfather died, people knew her.

Because of this, she had to drive all the way to Port Angeles to get her bottles of sweet drunkenness. The longer she was sober, the longer she had to deal with thinking of him.

She didn't want to think of him. Thinking of him meant thinking of him leaving her. Which led to some eternal outlet that would lead to the end of her existence.

She didn't like thinking of him.

If he would just come back to her, she would finally be okay. All she needed was for him to come back.

But that would never happen. He left, he's gone.

Y/N plopped down on her couch, a glass in her hand and a bottle sitting on the table for her refill. She searched through the TV to find something to watch. There had to be something to distract her, something to watch drunk. She knew better after learning from her mistake the first time she got drunk with the door unlocked and her keys in hand.

It was a long day of waiting for her bus back home. She had no idea how she wound up in Montana, but she did.

There was a knock on her door and she groaned loudly, hiding the alcohol in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, putting the jug of dish soap in front of it.

There was another knock on the door and she spoke in the clearest voice she could manage, "I'm coming."

She sighed and grabbed a bottle of water and a mint before opening the door. Bella stood on the other side, bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep and that spark she used to hold gone. Y/N was surprised to see her out of her house or school, she wasn't really active these days.

"Hey, Y/N. Sorry to come over like this," she said, looking at her.

Y/N shook her head, "No problem. Come in."

"Thanks," Bella mumbled as she walked into the house. Y/N scratched her head before closing the door, seeing Bella standing awkwardly in the world.

"Please, sit down," she told her, having a seat herself on her couch.

Bella took the offer, sitting in the chair next to the couch. Y/N asked hesitantly, "How are you holding up?"

Bella chuckled humorlessly, "I don't really want to talk about that."

"Yeah," Y/N muttered, "Me, neither." She stood with a sigh, headed to the kitchen to get a snack or something. "How are your nightmares?" Y/N asked, tripping slightly when she got to the threshold of the kitchen. She muttered a curse word under her breath.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, concerned about the slip up. Y/N nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine." Despite her best efforts, the slight slur in her tone had managed to escape as she grabbed a bag of chips and poured it in a bowl, taking it back to the living room.

She sat back down on the couch and Bella nodded strangely, "My nightmares are…just the same as they usually are."

Y/N sighed, "Yeah, Charlie tells me sometimes. Says he's wearied- worried about you. Wants me to try and help but… if it's anything like me… I won't be able to."

Bella furrowed her brows, looking at her closer. Bella blinked and shook her head, "Y/N, are you...drunk?"

Y/N looked at her, shaking her head quickly, "What? No! No, I'm not-I'm not drunk. I'm fine… I'm perfectly…completely…fine."

She looked down at a small dog figurine on the table to distract her before looking up to meet Bella's gaze. Tears began to make their way to her eyes, one managing to slip as her lip quivered slightly. She sighed and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm… a mess."

She couldn't stop the tears now, so she opted to ignore them. A downside to her being drunk was the spontaneous decision to either be void of emotion or ambushed with it. She always either ended up crying herself to sleep or staying up almost all night long before passing out with an hour of sleep under her belt.

She wiped a tear away, "I don't know what to do. Sobriety makes me think of him and I don't want to do that…"

Bella understood, nodding her slowly as she turned away, her own eyes filling with tears as she sympathized her pain with her own.

"I don't have anyone. My parents are dead, my grandfather is dead. I don't have any other family and I'm here alone," Y/N shook her head, sniffling and turning away from Bella completely.

Bella was always easy to talk to. She didn't judge, she didn't criticize. She would sit and listen and just be there, as a friend should.

Bella nodded, "For what it's worth, you'll always have Charlie and me."

Y/N took in those words. Charlie was always right next door when she needed him, no matter how little that was. He was there, his door was always open. Bella knew the same things Y/N did, so they could empathize with each other. They'd become somewhat family to her.

She just wished she could have her life back. He left with that.

"Thanks, Bells," Y/N told her gently. She looked around her house before her eyes landed on Bella again as she wiped her face, "Uh, can we keep this under wrap? No one in town knows and I want to keep it that way."

Bella nodded, "Won't tell a soul."

"Thanks."

For quite a while that night, the two allowed each other company and open ears. It was nice to have someone who knew, someone who knew.

No one else knew about her relationship with him. She was just out of high school, it would be strange if they got together when he was supposed to be in his late twenties to early thirties, at least to the humans.

Y/N fell asleep sometime after Bella had. It was late and they were both tired, Y/N especially.

When Bella started screaming in her sleep, Y/N bolted up quickly, easing her awake and telling her she was dreaming. Bella apologized heavily and Y/N told her not to worry. She found herself having nightmares of her own some nights.

Bella went back home after she'd woken up and Y/N poured herself a glass before trying to catch sleep of her own.

She went to her bed after cleaning up and was able to pass out from exhaustion. When she dreamt, she couldn't tell how much she wanted to.

Her dreams were the same for months.

~

"Y/N," her name was called by a voice she never thought she would hear again. She looked around in search of the angelic voice she had missed so much, "Where are you?"

She ran, searching frantically. She couldn't find him, he wasn't anywhere in reach. All she could hear was her name being whispered, as if carried in the wind.

"Where are you? Please!" She called, desperate to see her love again. She needed him, she couldn't go on without him.

"Please! Carlisle, come back!" She called, the name falling off her lips like both honey and poison. She couldn't tell which one. It was a bittersweet taste that drove her mad to think about.

"Please!" She cried, "I need you!"

"Y/N," his voice was closer now. She turned to see him, afraid that, if she wasted time, he would be gone again.

Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn't feel any different. When she saw his face, it was somehow paler than it normally was. His eyes were dark and tired, his hair was a mess. She stared at him in shock.

She reached a hand out to touch him. But just as her hand touched his cheek, he was gone.

"No, Carlisle!" She yelled, panting as she woke in a cold sweat. Tears covered her face and sweat covered her body.

She bent over and sobbed, her face buried in her knees as she let out the pain she was feeling that curled in her chest like a snake coiled around its prey. Pain filled her head as her headache ripped through her with a vengeance from both the drunkenness and the tears.

It was hard to breathe through her tears when everything hurt so much. It felt like she was being ripped open from the inside. Saying his name out loud only brought back to memories she worked so hard to drown out with alcohol.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much. Her throat hurt from sobbing. She stood and headed downstairs, pushing past her bottles of dish soap to grab the alcohol bottle waiting for her.

She wished he would just come back to her. She wished he would bring back her heart, be with her again so she could stop hurting. Y/N just wanted him back.

~

Weeks past since this, she was no better. No one thought she would be. She dragged herself to her kitchen for a drink and something to eat.

Her hands grabbed at air as she dug through the cabinet under the sink and she sighed heavily. Y/N turned regrettably, her last bottle was in the trash. She'd finished it last night.

Y/N groaned loudly and stood, replacing her drink with water. She checked her phone, she had the day off of work. So no work to distract herself.

She knew she would be heading out of town today, so she made a checklist of things she would need.

Dinner. She needed food, her fridge was empty. She worked so late that she forgot to go to the store. She sniffed and sighed, she'd go later on today.

She also needed to do her laundry before it piled up. She would do that first and head into the city when that was finished.

The day was long and sober. She couldn't escape her own thoughts as she was left thinking of him with every move.

She hadn't seen Bella lately. All she knew was that she was hanging out on the reservation quite a lot with Jacob. She wondered if that's where she was right now. She especially hadn't seen Bella in the past couple of days.

Y/N would have joined her on the Rez with Jacob, but she thought it best not to. Bella needed this. She seemed better with Jacob around.

When the clothes were folded and put away and the laundry was all done, she headed out. She was running out of tolerance with sobriety.

The drive was about an hour as she came up on the grocery store. After the quick run, she went to the liquor store she always visited for her drinks.

"Ran out again?" The clerk asked as he checked her. She nodded, "Yep, I'm glad you've got me."

"Always do," he chuckled lightly before she paid and left. She went to her car, her bags on her arms as she sighed heavily.

"Psst," she turned around and saw a woman leaning against the side of the building. The woman gave a smile and asked, "Is the liquor satisfying you?"

She raised a brow and just stared back at the woman. She shrugged lightly, "I can give you something stronger. I've seen you around here a couple times a month, for the past six."

Y/N sighed, "I don't want what you're selling. I'm sad, not suicidal."

She laughed, "This stuff won't kill you, it'll just make you feel good. First time I tried it, I had a good time doing it. It'll make you feel real happy."

Y/N bit her lip and thought for a moment. She actually thought about it. She promised herself she wouldn't do anything worse than liquor, but even the liquor was losing its touch. She sighed, "What is it?"

"Just the happy stuff, give it a special name and you get cops on your back. It's nothing you need a needle for, if that's what you're worried about."

That was good. She hated needles. She bit down on her lip before asking, "Normally, it's two hundred."

Y/N's eyes widened slightly. The woman smirked, "But I'll make it one if I can have the best thing you got in there." She motioned to her bag and Y/N thought some more.

She nodded and grabbed her wallet, taking out the two fifties she had. She thought about it a little more, this was a big decision.

But she was too far gone to care. She sighed and handed it over, along with her best bottle, "Here."

The woman smiled and dug in her bag, pulling out a tiny baggy that held a large pill. Y/N grabbed it and put it in her pocket before turning to leave before she made any more big mistakes.

"Have fun," she said as she popped open the bottle.

Y/N got in her car and drove back home. Quickly unloading her food and liquor, she put everything up. She locked the door behind her as usual, grabbing a bottle and pouring herself a couple glasses.

She had completely forgotten about the pill in her pocket until she changed into short shorts and a t-shirt, the baggy falling out of the pocket.

She looked down at the pill, putting a little more thought into it. Unfortunately, it was hard to think. She was already drunk, she got better at downing her liquor with each cup.

But that's why she bought it, wasn't it?

She picked up the pill and sighed, putting it on her tongue and swallowing it, following it with liquor.

The pill worked quickly. At first, she could see how the pill made you feel "happy". She was dancing around her house, tripping over things and enjoying herself.

Then her pulse sped up and she felt nauseous, but she couldn't feel herself puking. Nothing was coming up, she only had the feeling.

When her energy went down dramatically, so did her pulse. She bumped into the table in the living room and tripped slightly.

She got back to her feet, her vision blurry. She was sweating like crazy and she felt horrible. Then she tripped behind the couch, her head fuzzy and her body numb.

Her mouth started foaming a little, her vision fading in and out. She didn't know when she passed out, but she did. She kept coming back to consciousness, but it was hard to feel. Her body hurt, but she couldn't move.

The door opened at some point as her eyes opened lazily. She couldn't see anything, she still had foam coming out of her mouth. It tasted disgusting.

She tried to make a sound or move, but she couldn't. She heard the footsteps but her eyes closed again and she faded out.

~

The door swung open and his eyes widened as he saw Y/N laying behind the couch, foaming at the mouth.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, kneeling beside her as he tried to listen closely to her heartbeat. It was slow, too slow. If he could cry, he would have.

He placed his cool hand on her cheek, "Y/N, love, wake up. Please."

He looked up and rushed to her bathroom, searching through her cabinet in search of something to use. When he found the activated charcoal, he sighed in relief and snatched it.

He paused when she saw the antidepressants sitting next to it. It was mostly untouched, it didn't seem like it'd been used in months. She'd given up on them.

He frowned and swallowed hard before heading back downstairs to her. He opened her mouth and put one of the pills in her mouth, following it with water to get her to swallow it.

"Come on," he muttered to himself, "Swallow it. Please, take it."

She managed a small noise as she tried to mumble, but her lips barely moved. When he saw her swallow the pill, he nodded and sat her up against his chest.

"Come on," he said, "You'll be okay. It's okay." He picked her up and set her on the couch, her head propped up on a pillow. "You'll be okay," he told her, his face was pained as he watched her.

He stayed with her, giving her a little bit of water at a time after wiping her mouth of the foam and sweat.

He could hear her heartbeat return to normal, the sweat died down and he laid a blanket over her. He sighed with much relief as she slept. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. This wasn't supposed to happen.

He looked around the house, the house he'd missed walking into. He saw the bottle of liquor and the cup on the table and frowned.

He turned to the kitchen, the fridge had food in it, but it wasn't as full as it needed to be. He sniffed the air and bent down in front of the sink, opening the cabinet to see the fresh bottles hiding behind the soap.

He sighed again, wiping his face before glancing back at her sleeping on the couch. He wandered around the home, trying to see what all was different. He went back to the bathroom to put the charcoal pills back in it. He picked up the bottle of antidepressants, looking at the date written on it.

It was sometime after he'd left.

After a while, he'd heard her scrambling downstairs, followed by a retching sound as she puked. He rushed downstairs to her, taking her hair in his hands to move it out of the way.

She jumped slightly at the touch but was too caught up in throwing up. When she was finished, she collapsed on the floor next to the trash, wiping her face.

He knelt in front of her, not sure if he should offer her a smile or a sad look. He gave her a sad smile to even it out.

Y/N blinked at him and muttered quietly, she was in shock and disbelief, saying his name still hurt. This was some illusion, he wasn't coming back.

"Carlisle?" She spoke, her voice wavering as she ready had tears welling in her eyes at saying the name and seeing him.

"Y/N," Carlisle sighed, reaching his hands out to touch her, "What happened to you? Why would yo-"

She cut him off, standing up as she flinched away from him. She thought him coming back would make everything better. She thought she would throw herself into his arms and tell him how much she missed him.

But she was just pissed.

"What the hell?!" She yelled, moving away from him, her eyes burning in anger.

Carlisle watched her, silently getting back to his feet. She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears, her voice wavering drastically.

"You leave me here alone and then show up after six months with no explanation? I thought you were never coming back! I spent weeks trying to convince myself that you would return and then it turned into months and I lost all hope of ever seeing you again," she sobbed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I was trying to keep you sa-"

"Keep me safe?" She scoffed, "That's not an excuse, Carlisle. I wish it was, but it isn't." She shook her head and another round of sobs left her, shaking through her violently.

Carlisle hated seeing her cry like this, he hated seeing her so broken. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"You left me here alone. I didn't think you would ever come back. I thought I meant nothing to you."

He tried again, "Y/N-"

"I'm not finished," she told her. She hadn't raised her voice, she had strained it by crying and she knew she wouldn't have to raise it to stop him. He would listen to her.

"I thought you loved me. That's what you told me," she shook her head before allowing herself to look up at him.

"I do love you," Carlisle told her quickly. He couldn't bear the thought of her not knowing that he loved her.

"Then why did you leave?" The room fell silent as she stared him down. He looked away from her, he couldn't take the look in her eyes as she stared at him. They were heartbroken, beaten, she looked hopeless and broken. She continued, "You could have brought me with you, or just stayed. You hurt me, Carlisle. You were supposed to protect me, but I needed protection from myself and you weren't here to give it."

She fell silent and Carlisle hesitated to look up at her, but he did. She was still staring at her feet, tears dropped from her eyes as her lip quivered uncontrollably. Something in him made him move closer to him, his arms out for a hug. He just wanted to calm her, to help her, to wrap his arms around her to tell her that he was here and would never leave her again.

But he couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed, holding her arms around herself. She looked back down at her feet with blurry vision.

Carlisle's eyes held grief, pain, and sorrow. He didn't like seeing her like this. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Y/N sighed heavily and went to her couch, sitting down and pouring a glass of scotch. Carlisle was by her side in a split second, his hand grabbing the bottle and pulling it from her grip.

"You shouldn't be putting this stuff in your body, you almost just died because of it. You've polluted your blood, it smells different," he told her gently.

Y/N didn't look at him, she stated at her glass and sighed, "You... get no say… in what I choose to put in my body."

Without looking at him, she grabbed the bottle again and poured her drink, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. He looked away from her, unable to watch her do this to herself. Or rather what he did to her.

As she drank the liquid, it burned down her throat. She expected it to calm her nerves as it always had, but she only grew self-conscious. Having him see her like this, down at her lowest low as she downed a glass of alcohol, she felt unclean and poisoned. She felt invaluable and dirty. She felt like she had lost all of her importance sitting next to him so hopelessly.

She set her glass down soundlessly, standing up from her spot on the couch to get to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would help to cleanse some of that feeling out of her.

But it didn't. Sure, the water was refreshing, but it didn't help.

Carlisle spoke into the silence, eyes glued to a picture hanging on the wall where she was smiling brightly with her late grandfather. She looked so happy in that picture, a vast contrast to how she looked now.

"I spent every day wishing I was with you. I wanted to come home but I didn't think it was safe. I thought I was putting you in danger simply by being here," Carlisle admitted sadly. His honey smooth voice was clear but anything was calm. It was sad. If he was capable of it, it would have broken multiple times throughout his words.

She sunk down to her knees as he spoke, she didn't want to look back up at him as he spoke, her head against the wall. She didn't look over. "You put me in danger by not being here…" she said softly, "I thought I lost the one I loved the most. It hurt. It especially hurt thinking that the one I loved the most didn't love me." Her voice cracked at the end.

He turned to her, but she did not turn to meet his gaze. It hurt too much to look at him. "I do love you. In all my years, I've never loved like I do with you. You're my everything. I never meant to hurt you."

"All you had to do was stay," she shook her head as she spoke, still refusing to look up at him. She brought her legs in front of her and tucked them to her chest, setting her chin on her arms.

The room fell back into uncomfortable silence. She stared at the cabinet filled with liquor in disgust, thinking back to the pill she took earlier that night. How could she be so stupid?

She swallowed hard as she felt another lump in her throat, more tears threatening to spill. Carlisle licked his lips and closed his eyes, "All I wanted to do was help people. I dedicated my whole existence to doing just that. Then I find someone as special as you and hurt the person I wanted to protect the most."

Carlisle was gone in the next second. He'd left so quickly, there was no sound from the door opening or closing behind him. She saw lights flash outside her window as he started his car, pulling out of the driveway and leaving her alone in her house.

Y/N's face scrunched as tears left her. They streamed down her face, her eyes puffing once again and her body shook. She thought over their conversation in her head. She was too hard on him, she knew that. She should have accepted him and let him make everything okay.

But she didn't, she pushed him away. Even after he just saved her life…again.

"Carlisle," she said. She hadn't spoken his name in months, it hurt too much to say. But after seeing him again, knowing he was real, after all. It was so good to say his name again, it was a release she didn't know she needed. She repeated his name through her sobs, like playing a broken record. It felt so good.

She didn't know how long she was crying. She grabbed the scotch bottle off the table and began to bring it to her lips before stopping. She sighed and looked at the bottle. She shook her head, turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain.

There was a small part of her that was screaming at her to stop, to think about what she was doing, but that part was too small against this new need, this old and new desire in her body.

This desire to make it up to Carlisle.

She couldn't go on the way she was, she knew it wasn't healthy from the start, but she didn't care because it was a distraction, it made her feel somewhat good.

But she was going to do her best to be worthy of his love again. Hopefully, getting rid of the pollutant, the poison she'd been giving herself would make up for an inkling of the harm she inflicted upon him.

She didn't care that he hurt her now that she had hurt him. She just needed to make it up, and she would spend the rest of her life doing that.

She grabbed every bottle she had, pouring it down the sink. With each drop down, she felt unsure of herself. Would she be able to stick it out? This was what she used to cope, this was what she had been using for strength these several months.

Her instincts tried to make her stop what she was doing, but she needed to change her instincts. She needed to get them back to how they were. She needed to be strong for Carlisle.

When the liquor was gone, she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt this strange freedom, this strange pride in her being. She was proud of herself, but only a little bit. It wasn't enough to make her crack any type of smile.

She threw all the liquor bottles in the trash, getting rid of her demon. When she was finished, it was roughly five in the morning. She was practically dead on her feet.

She had terrible sleep over the past couple of weeks, it was so bad that she resulted in not sleeping at all in the past few days.

She was really dizzy and she felt herself swaying, struggling to keep her on her feet. Normally, she would just down a glass of liquor and keep running on that. But seeing as she had just disposed of every single drop she had, that wasn't an option.

Another reason for being so tired? She neglected her body of the water she needed to survive. She was extremely dehydrated.

In short, her body was barely holding on to what little life it held.

She shook her head and declared herself awake, headed to the door to go to Carlisle. She needed to see him. She needed to be with him and reassure him that they would be okay. They had to be okay. She couldn't lose him twice.

However, she didn't make it past the couch before she collapsed, falling to the floor as she passed out instantly.

~

She might as well start getting used to being woken by people because she collapsed on the floor. Bella was waking her up anxiously, Charlie by her side-- he was probably the one who got the locked door open. Both Charlie and Carlisle had a key.

"Y/N, wake up!" She exclaimed. Y/N's eyes opened slowly and she saw the two hovering over her, fear written across their faces. They relaxed a little when she opened her eyes fully and slowly sat up. She had a pounding headache, though.

"What happened, kid?" Charlie asked, helping her sit up.

Y/N laughed humorlessly, "I guess I was so tired I passed out." She was dizzy as she looked around the room. She struggled to her feet, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge to try and soothe herself.

When her vision settled and she wasn't seeing four Swans in her house, she sighed. Charlie looked over at the trash can filled with liquor bottles.

"What is this?" He asked, eyeing her with a hint of disappointment.

She spoke quickly, "I wasn't drinking any." She thought with the speed of a vampire. She'd spent so much time with the Cullens, she'd picked up on their ability to lie so quickly, "I saw them near the house just laying there, I think someone dumped them, so I threw them away. I passed out because I got tired and dehydrated from so much work at the diner."

He nodded and thought about her answer. It was a legitimate answer to him. He's known this girl her whole life, she wouldn't drink that much, especially at 19. But, in her defense, she would be twenty soon.

He nodded and told her, "Just…be careful, you scared me, kid."

She gave him a reassuring look, forcing a smile, "I will, Chief."

He nodded to her again and looked between her and his daughter before turning to leave them alone, it looked like they had something to talk about.

When he was gone and well out of earshot, Bella rushed to her quickly, "Are you insane? Edward told me what you did. Overdose, really?!"

Y/N sighed, "It was an accident. I was getting… really bad… and someone offered and I was too far gone. It was one pill but I was drunk and it didn't go well… He found me and helped me. We argued and I'm just… I'm trying to fix it."

She watched her as she spoke, she believed every word she said. Y/N was in no position to lie to her at the moment. Bella sighed, "Get some sleep first, at least. I know I can't tell you what to do but you fainted, so I think we can both agree that you need to sleep before you turn into ash or something."

Y/N sighed and agreed to at least that. She knew she needed sleep before she passed out while driving to the Cullen's and really died.

She got in the shower to soothe her body and release some of the tension in her muscles. She'd been so stressed lately and last night with seeing Carlisle for the first time in over six months, arguing with him, and almost dying (technically almost dying twice), she needed a healthy outlet.

After the long shower, she was able to get herself to drift into sleep. After seeing Carlisle again, her nightmares calmed down and allowed her a dreamless sleep. It was nice to have sleep, she hadn't gotten much of it in a long time.

~

After getting healthy sleep, even if it was only three hours, sleep was sleep, she quickly ate to calm her growling stomach.

She was grabbing her keys when her phone rang. She sighed and turned to pick it up, "Hello?"

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay. Charlie told me what happened," Billy’s voice said on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Didn't mean to worry anybody," she told him. She internally sighed. Word spread quick around Forks, she would be surprised if the whole town called to ask if she was okay. But she would rather answer that many phone calls in one day.

Billy wasn't the last to call either. As soon as the call ended, the phone rang again as another person contacted Y/N to make sure she was alright.

What a great town this was to show their concern for her.

At the wrong times.

By the fifth call, she decided to just email all of the people she knew would be calling who hadn't called yet. She wrote the email, reassuring everyone that she was A-OK and didn't need any help. That seemed to shut up the phone and she was able to leave.

She groaned loudly when she looked at the time again. It was already late as it struck five in the evening.

She waited a few more minutes to make sure the phone didn't ring again before getting in her car. During the car ride, she kept herself hydrated, learning from her mistake. She wasn't too keen on fainting from lack of hydration or sleep.

She sped down the familiar path to the Cullen House. She wanted to get there quickly, she had wasted enough time with her mundane activities. She needed to see him.

When she came through the trees and pulled into the Cullen's driveway, she got out before the keys were even out of the ignition. Y/N walked up to the house, seeing Carlisle standing in a window. He saw her and, even from where she was standing, she could see something in eyes when he met hers.

She swallowed hard and held her arms out in front of her, a proposal. He zoomed out of the window and out of the house. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

She instantly broke down again, she was getting tired of crying. Her arms held him to her, never letting go. She was so afraid that if she left go of him, she'd lose him all over again. She couldn't go through that twice.

Even if it wasn't the same as before, it was still her scent Carlisle breathed in as he hugged her tight, careful not to crush her. Everyone else must have been out hunting if they hadn't shown up by now.

Y/N let out a sharp breath before sucking another back in, sobbing into Carlisle's chest. He felt good. He felt like home. She was home.

She let out a breathy laugh and sniffled, letting him hold her to him. It was as if all of their troubles had washed away so that this moment was the most special of all.

Y/N pulled her head out of the crook of his neck just so she could kiss him. She missed him more than anything, she missed his hugs, his kisses, his words of love. This was perfect.

They were wrapped up in their moment, wrapped up in each other. It felt so amazing to have their lives back. They were home again.

She breathed deeply, holding the breath in as her lips moved in sync with her mate's. She then let the breath out in a moan, but she was too focused on the moment to let the sound embarrass her. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

He pulled away enough to speak, still so close that he spoke against her lips, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."

She shook her head, "Stay." She didn't care about what happened, she cared about what can happen.

He smiled, "I will." It was her turn to bring him back into the kiss, kissing him deeply and passionately. It had been too long since she felt his touch.

When her mind came back to her drinking briefly as she spoke into his lip, "I'm quitting."

"Good," he smiled, once again kissing her. They weren't going to waste any time to be near each other, touch each other, love each other.

When the kiss slowed, she took a deep breath in, his scent filling her senses. She missed his scent. She opened her eyes to stare in his, they were beautiful, honey gold, sparkling as he gazed at her. She missed those eyes. She expected them to be darker like they were last night, but they were just as golden as the sun.

She smiled, her first genuine smile in months. He smiled back at her, captivated by her. Their foreheads were still pressed together and they swayed slightly, reveling in each other.

Y/N spoke, intoxicated by him, "I love you." Her words were a whisper, a breath that delivered the sweetest of air.

Carlisle beamed down at her, a light laugh escaping his throat as he gazed at her, his face looking like he was going to cry while his eyes stayed clear of any tears. "I love you," he told her sincerely. The only thing they could think of doing after the heartwarming confession was to kiss each other again.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning again at the feel of his body against hers. She felt amazing with him.

He set her on the hood of her car and continued to kiss her, mumbling against her lips, "I'm going to marry you one day."

She smiled, "What's keeping you back?"

"Absolutely nothing," he told her genuinely.

They stayed like that, just kissing each other's pain away the best they could. There was no way they could ever leave each other's sides. After the ordeal they just went through, they could never.

He told her in that soft, smooth voice she missed with all her being, "I will never leave you again. No matter what, I will always be right here with you. I love you."

"I know," she replied just as gently, "I love you. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me. I love you so much."

The confessions were falling freely, leaving their lips faster than they could think. "After all this time, I still can't believe I'm yours. I can't imagine my life without you now, Carlisle. I obviously wouldn't last. If you hadn't stepped in, I'd be dead. Here I am, only living and breathing because you were here to care for me."

"I don't want to lose you, Y/N," he told her that same thing the first time they kissed. They held so much gravity then and they only seem to hold more now, "I don't know how I'd survive without you now. You're my life now and I will never let you go ever again. I promise you."

They thought they were going to be there forever confessing their feelings over and over again, drinking each other in with each kiss. They knew that they would eventually have to go inside and spare the others.

They went inside and eventually everyone came back from their hunting trip. They expressed how good it was to have her around again and how much they missed her. After a talk with Alice about how Carlisle knew she was in trouble, she went up to Carlisle's room with her hand grasped tightly in his.

There was a bed in his room that he had bought specifically for her so she could fall asleep in his arms. They were talking quietly with each other for a while before she finally fell asleep in his embrace.

He promised her that he would never ways protect her and that he would never leave her again, he promised that he loved her deeply, that he would always love her and he would always be here. He kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my darling. I love you."

She smiled in her sleep, holding him tighter as she allowed her dreams to run wild. It was the best sleep she'd had in what felt like forever as she held tightly to him, never once letting him go as she slept.

Carlisle could have sworn she heard her mumble his name in her sleep and he smiled, breathing in deeply to enjoy her presence.

She muttered to herself, lost in her dreams of him, "I love you, Carlisle…"

[galacticxcosmos]

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 ❣︎ ᵏᵗʰ

Pairing :- Taehyung X Reader

Genre :- Bestfriends to Lovers AU, Erotic, Angst, Romance and Fluff.

Rating :- 18+ ( M )

Word Count :- 4.4k

Summary :- "Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people" that's what you thought after your terrible breakup which led you to your bestfriend's appartment at midnight to seek comfort until things went way beyond just 'comfort'.

Warnings :- It's CEO Taehyung (but no office romance shit), Broke college student, Dom Taehyung, Sub reader, Some angst that idk how I managed to write, Sexual Tension, Buried feelings, Past feelings, Teasing, Morning Sex, Daddy Kink, Pinning, Oral (M receiving), Unprotected Sex, After care (omg) with fluff (omg).

A/N :- I know that I haven't been very active on Tumblr, but trust me I am trying my best, also I am still working on the next chapter for "Chemicals Collide", so please be a little more patient. Also I got inspiration for this Oneshot from Jungkook's cover, I think you guessed it already, but then I saw I had already written a JK Oneshot, so I gave this to Tae baby. Enjoy~

Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people.

I could feel the numb pain in my stomach, feeling like I am going to throw up, going back and forth between feeling nothing and being unable to stop the tears. All I  could think about was if this is really the end. I picked up my pace, now breaking into a fast jog towards Taehyung's house. Tears we're rapidly streaming down my face, uncontrollable at this point. I sprinted through the apartment complex, my legs moving as quickly as they could to get to him. I wiped my face with my sleeve as I got to his floor, a failed attempt to make myself look slightly okay.

I knew Taehyung would see right past these attempts though, he'll quickly understand that I've been sobbing with one glance in my direction. He knew me too well. After knocking on the door, there was a faint thud before someone cautiously opened the door. Taehyung stood there, slightly disheveled with the smell of alcohol dripping off of him. Right, Saturday means Taehyung gets shit faced every night. Although intoxicated, he quickly realised I wasn't okay. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to go and fight someone?" He slurred slightly, stepping outside. I chuckled, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back into the apartment before he got the both of us locked out.

"How many have you drank?" I asked, going to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle to give him. My legs were threatening to give out, but he should property drink something besides alcohol before he puts himself in a coma. I walked over to where he sat on the couch, handing him the water bottle before going to pick up bottles. Sure, drinking was absolutely terrible and Taehyung may have developed a problem. I just never comment on it because we all have our own ways of dealing with things, not all of them being good. After cleaning up his expensive ass apartment, I went to sit down with him. He was quietly watching TV, taking interest in some show that showed people getting hurt. He was slowly sipping his water, showing barely any interest in the almost full bottle he held in his hand.

"Tae, I asked, how many have you drank?" I asked again. "I counted like 10 while cleaning up." Taehyung didn't say anything, just shrugging as he propped his feet up on the ottoman. I sighed, following his actions and getting comfortable. It must be nice to have an apartment to yourself and not be stuck in a crammed dorm room with another person. Must be nice to not go to school and struggle everyday. Nice to not have your heart broken on the day of your anniversary. Without noticing, a small sob fell from my lips, catching Taehyung's attention instantly. Worry was written across his face as he peered over to me, one eyebrow raised.

"What happened?" He mumbled, moving to wrap one arm around me. He held me close to him, a mix of his cologne and alcohol filling my nose. "He broke up with me." I mumbled, another sob falling from my lips. I wrapped my arms around Taehyung's toned torso, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. "Isn't it your anniversary? Didn't you text me earlier today about everything?" He asked gently, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. Another sob fell, making him realise that maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull on that string. He sighed, moving so he could easily pull me into his lap. I quickly straddled him in order to bury my face in his neck.

My arms still held onto his torso as he wrapped his arms around me. He must've closed the water bottle and tossed it aside sometime earlier, deciding it was more important to comfort me. So, how the hell did a broke college student become best friends with one of the youngest CEOs in Seoul? It honestly still amazes me that we're even still friends, that I get the pleasure of being his best friend. He's everything you'd want in a person. Caring, beautiful, fit despite his work schedule, one of most hardworking people you'll ever meet.

We've been friends since we were teens, simple freshmen stuck together for a lab experiment. Thinking back on it, it's sort of funny because the first thing he ever said was I like your shirt. I smiled slightly, thinking back on the fond memories. Taehyung and I are some of the closest of people, and we're always joined at the hip when we aren't busy. I mean, we grew up together, figured out college together, lost our virginity to each other. I chuckled slightly thinking about it. Two teens frustrated and scared to lose it to someone who didn't know us. It just sort of played out one night, safe word established quickly since Taehyung was so worried. Taehyung shuffled slightly under me.

"What are you laughing about, Miss?" He teased, jabbing my sides. He's always loved fucking with me, and knew how to get on my nerves in just a few attempts. I decided to lie, figuring that, if he even remembered that night, he wouldn't want to hear about it. I shrugged, shoving my face into his neck further. "I was thinking about science when we were paired together." I said, my focus going to my shirt that was riding up slightly. Taehyung paid no attention to it, his hands resting on the bare skin of my back.

"Ugh, don't remind me." He laughed before mocking himself. "I like your shirt." I laughed, shaking my head at him. I sat up, my hands placed on his chest. He seemed tired, but sobering up a bit. His hands released my torso, going to wipe the tears off my cheeks. I smiled slightly before climbing off his lap and standing back up. "Finish drinking your water." I said, tossing the bottle over to where he was sitting. I walked into his living room, opening up the fridge and seeing what was there. I shrugged, settling on leftover takeout I'm assuming was from the shop near his work. I tossed it into the microwave before calling out to Taehyung.

"Do you want anything?" I asked, waiting for a response. "You." A small reply came, unsure and small compared to his normal loud ass. I laughed at him before asking the question once more. He simply said nothing, stating he wasn't hungry. He usually isn't when he drinks anyway. I took the takeout out, walking back into the living room. I sat and ate, making sure not to spill anything because I definitely couldn't afford to buy him a new one. This couch is probably my salary, the boy's got money. "Are you okay?" He asked, reaching over to rub my thigh. "Didn't I tell you he was a dick though? You should date better people. Like me."

I laughed at him, playfully swatting his hand away from me. I went back to my food, not paying attention to the hand creeping up towards my thigh once more. He rubbed his hand up my thighs once more, smiling slightly. "Taehyung, you're drunk." I mumbled, shoving food into my mouth once more.

Taehyung moved once more, placing his hand on my arm. Whines immediately came from me, complaining about the food and expensive couch. "Taehyung, I'm going to spill this on your couch and you're going to be mad at me" I threatened. "Fuck it. I can buy a new one." He mumbled, reaching up to smack the food out of my hand. I jerked my arm away, setting the tray down on the coffee table. "No you can't you drunk cunt." I mumbled, jumping over and pulling him down on the couch. I curled up under his arm, my face buried in his chest while I placed my arm on his side. He smiled, looking up at the TV after placing a kiss on my forehead. He held me closer, and continued to hold me until I drifted off to sleep.

∆∆∆

The sound of shuffling woke me up, my eyes barely adjusting to the bright light. Taehyung was shuffling next to me, struggling to get up. I let out a small grunt, moving so he could easily stand up. He apologized before running off to what I assumed was the bathroom. I smashed myself into the corner of the couch, trying to gain back the warmth that just left. Taehyung's chuckles filled the room as he passed by the living room, walking into the kitchen. He was probably going to go grab pain killers and a water. He waltzed back to the couch, plopping down. I let out a small grunt of disapproval.

"Come on, go and do your classes." He said, pulling me by my shirt towards him. He's always used his strength to do whatever, and it gets annoying every now and then. "Would you stop pulling me around like a ragdoll?" I said, rolling over to look at him. He had a smirk on his face, missing his shirt that he was previously wearing. "Go get a shirt on" I said. "No." He said, dropping a water bottle and laying down. I rolled over, cuddling into his warm embrace. His golden skin always give off warmth, and god I loved it. "Shouldn't you have classes to attend?" Taehyung asked, wrapping his arms around me. I rolled my eyes at him, wondering how stupid he has to be to not understand.

"I just got my heart broken yesterday, why would I want to do anything?" I mumbled, "I just want comfort and to rest for awhile." Taehyung nodded, holding me. He mumbled something that I didn't quite catch, but I was too lazy to ask what he said. "Why do you date douchebags? I mean, they don't give you the love you deserve and end up breaking your heart. You should find someone that actually cares about you." He mumbled, tangling his legs with mine. "Why does it matter to you Taehyung?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Because you come to my apartment at like 3 am sobbing usually. And you shouldn't even be out at that time, with someone else or alone for that matter. It's not safe. And you deserve better." He mumbled. "Would you stop worrying about that? I'll be okay." I could barely even finish my sentence when Taehyung crashed his lips onto mine, our lips molding together within seconds. Taehyung pulled away slightly, attaching his lips on to my jaw. My breath hitched, hands moving to grab at his arms.

"Taehyung, I don't think this is a good idea." I mumbled, his movements coming to a stop and his body stiffing. "I just mean we're probably just confused and I just broke up and you're a famous CEO hooking up with a college st-" I knew if I asked, he would immediately stop. It's not that I was afraid of him doing something stupid, I was afraid of the underlying feelings I had for my best friend. The feelings that make me want to cherish and love him just as much as have him fuck my brains out.

"Tell me y/n, do you really think I don't notice?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Think I don't notice the looks you give me when you think I'm not paying attention? You rubbing together your thighs when you're around me?". "Taehyung I still don't think-", "You don't think this is a good idea because you're afraid. You'll have a real man now, someone that will love and appreciate you as well as please you? Listen, I have no problem with that as long as you return it." He mumbled, moving over to whisper in my ear. "Do you know how much you affect me?"

He licked my ear, sucking slightly causing me to whimper. My eyes were screwed shut, head cocked to side. He climbed around so he could be on top, grinding our hips together slightly. His bulge rubbed against my thigh, rock hard. "Taehyung-", "Waste it on me y/n. Your love, please just this once. You waste it on everyone else, so why not me? Why not your best friend that's in love? Please, it's not going to hurt if it's just once." He mumbled, locking eyes with me. "Taehyung-", "Daddy." He corrected, is he serious right now?? He wants me to fill in his kinks now??

"Taehy-", "Did you not hear me babygirl?" He said, staring down at me. I gripped his torso, wondering how the hell I got myself into this situation. How I ended up here, with him. "Daddy, please." I said, coming out more whiny than I expected. He smirked slightly, a look of confidence flushing over his face. "What babygirl? Tell me so I can please you." He said, moving so his face was a mere millimeters away. "Kiss me."

He did, quickly getting rid of the space in between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling slightly. His hips slightly rolled into mine, pulling a moan from the both of us. Taehyung's hands slipped down, running up and down my sides, stopping to squeeze slightly. His hands found their way to my ass, squeezing and rubbing. "Daddy~" I whined, rolling my hips up into his. He let out a small groan, moving to place hot, open mouthed kisses all along my neck. He stopped to suck a small bruise here and there, making sure to leave his mark.

His hands slipped into my shirt, squeezing my sides. I giggled slightly, jerking away from the ticklish action. Taehyung smiled up at me before slipping my shirt up and eventually over my head. My arms instinctively went to cover my skin, Taehyung clicking his tongue slightly. "Come on babe, don't make me tie you up." He mocked, smirking at me. My eyes widened slightly, taking Taehyung back for a moment. "God, I don't remember a freak in highschool.", "Oh my God. Please don't." I said, staring at him. He's referring to losing our virginity to each other, embarrassing.

"So shy and innocent-", "I don't remember such a cocky shit in the bedroom either? You think you've gotten better?" I challenged. "I know I've gotten better." He answered. He's so full of himself. "Whoever cums first, loses." I challenged, staring up at him. He looked taken back. I smiled, sitting up in order to push him back on the couch. I straddled him, sitting on his hips as I took my bra off and tossed it somewhere across the room. Taehyung's hands flew up, squeezing and pinching what he could manage. I let out a small whine when he took a sensitive bud in between his fingers, twisting it roughly. My hips involuntary rolled, Taehyung's hips jerking up. I moved, going to pull on his shorts. The more I pulled down, I realized he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"This was your plan all morning?" I questioned. "Nope, just when I seen you over here looking like a fresh baked snack." He said, making me laugh at how stupid he was. I rolled my eyes, kissing his hips slightly. Once his shorts were off, he wasted no time kicking them halfway across the room. I giggled slightly, laying down on the couch so I was level with his cock. Taehyung threw his head back, his breathing becoming uneven. I licked a long stripe from bottom to top, stopping at the top to flick my tongue along his tip. I slowly wrapped my lips around his tip, sinking down slightly before coming back up. I took inch by inch until he hit the back of my throat, sinking down a bit more before coming up. A low moan fell from Taehyung as I swallowed around him, his hips involuntary bucked up into my mouth.

I fought off my gag reflex, hallowing my cheeks around him. I let him face fuck me, his hands roughly controlling my head to please himself. A loud whine fell from him, grabbing my hair and pulling my head up an off. He wrapped his fingers around his base, squeezing. Once he calmed down, he looked up at me. "Okay Miss, your turn." He said before basically pouncing on me. Our lips connected in a rush, molding together as his hands slipped into my jeans. He popped open the buttons with ease, sliding my jeans down my legs. His warms hands squeezed my thighs, coming up to link his fingers with my lace panties.

He pulled away from the kiss, locking eyes with me quickly before sinking down. He gently pulled off the lace, tossing it aside. After a bit, he nipped at my thigh, sucking a bruise. He continued nipping at my thighs, making me get more and more impatient. "Daddy! Please!" I whined, my hips bucking up. He moved, licking a long stripe. I whined as me began sucking on my clit, flicking his tongue every now and then. My hands were buried in his hair, resisting the urge to crush his head with my thighs.

I felt Taehyung's smirk, wrapping his arms around my thighs and pinning me down. I bucked my hips into his mouth, a low moan falling from my lips. "Taehyung, slow down." I whined, my legs shaking in his arms. He did, slowing down his tongue flicks. He let go one of my legs, moving his finger to me gently. Slowly, he pushed his finger in knuckle deep. I couldn't fight the loud moan that fell from me.

"God I fucking love your thighs." He mumbled, drawing circles where one of his arms was still wrapped around me. "So thick and full, so much better than the sticks that throw themselves at me." A small laugh came from me, shaking my head at him. "I'm sure you've had plenty of those sticks in here." He shook his head, drawing his finger out slowly before pushing it back in. I grabbed his wrist, positioning it a bit differently and told him to curl his fingers next time. He followed, hitting exactly where I needed him to. My whole body jerked, making him smile up at me.

"Fuck I've missed you." Taehyung groaned, talking to himself more than anything. I wasn't sure if he meant me, or my heat. I decided not to ask, not wanting to get hurt over something so stupid. His fingers picked up their pace, hitting exactly where I told him. Moans fell from my lips, my head thrown back as I held onto his head. Slowly, I felt an orgasm coming upon me. "Taehyung!" I whined, grabbing his arm and jerking him away. He could easily continue, overpower me completely with just one hand. But Taehyung isn't like that. He became instantly worried."Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?" He asked, panic striking him from all sides.

I laughed, sitting up. I pulled him to me, kissing him as deeply as I could. "No, you're okay. Just, a bit overwhelming." I smiled. He nodded, sitting up. "Is it okay if I continue, I need to stretch you out. I'd hate to hurt you." He said, slightly hesitant with each word he spoke. "Of course. And what happened to the man that was just so cocky seconds ago?" I asked, teasing him. He scoffed, continuing. He started with one finger, slowly adding a second and beginning a scissoring motion.

Small moans fell from me, gripping his arm where I was able to. Looking down, Taehyung still wore his arrogant smile. After he deemed me stretched and ready enough, he sat up and in between my thighs. He looked around for a few seconds, for what I'm assuming is for a condom or something like that. "No condom." I mumbled, making his attention snap back over to me. His cheeks were slightly flushed and eyes full of concern and slight worry. "I'm on the pill." I reassured. "Yeah, but that's not a 100% you won't get pregnant." Taehyung mumbled, still worried. I laughed, shaking my head at him.

"It's pretty damn close, but if you're really that scared go find one. I'll be here waiting for you." I teased, watching his eyes narrow at me slightly. I giggled as he pounced on top of me, pinning my arms above my head with ease. A small smirk grew on my face as I nibbled slightly on his earlobe. "Daddy, please fuck me." Taehyung couldn't resist anymore, positioning himself before easily sliding in. He let out a loud grunt as he bottomed out, his head falling into my neck. "Fuck, when's the last time you've had sex?"

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, slightly panicking at his question. Taehyung slowly pushed himself up, sitting back on his legs with my thighs in his palms. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching as he slowly slid out before slamming back into me. I jolt of pleasure shot throughout my body. "You haven't been fucked in awhile, no? You're so tight." Taehyung said, placing on of my legs over his shoulder to give him better access. I let out a loud moan as he picked up his pace, gaining a steady and rather quick rhythm. Taehyung was letting out small grunts, his face becoming sweaty and his bangs sticking to his forehead.

"Ah, Taehyung" I whined, grabbing onto his arm as he pounded into me. He scoffed, leaning forward to nail my g-spot. He was folding me in half, basically. "I'll let that one slip, babygirl. But next time you're getting punished." He growled, crashing his lips onto mine while still maintaining his thrusts. As the kiss became rougher, so did his thrusts. The sound of skin hitting skin soon filled the room accompanied by moans. Taehyung's grip was harsh, holding onto my waist and thighs like it was the only thing keeping him alive. I could barely see straight anymore, pleasure washing over me. I smiled, remembering something Taehyung was absolutely weak for. I reached up, taking one of his sensitive buds in between my fingers and flicking it roughly.

He let out a throaty groan, head falling forward slightly. He was focusing on his thrusts, speeding up and slamming harder than before. Profanities spilt from the both of us, gripping onto whatever we could to keep us in place. "Fuck, I'm going to cum." Taehyung moaned, making me smirk up at him. I mumbled a small, then I win. His head shot up, completely forgetting about the dumb bet set long ago. His fingers went straight to my clit, roughly stimulating me. I yelped, holding onto his wrist for dear life while clamping down around him.

His thrusts we're sloppy and more desperate than before, quickly reaching his high. With a few lasts thrusts and moans, he came deep inside of me. As soon as he came, the stimulation caught up and sent me flying over. Bolts of pleasure shot throughout me, my toes curling and head thrown back into the sofa. I ripped Taehyung's fingers away from me, becoming too sensitive. He smirked, sliding his fingers into my mouth. I licked them, rolling my tongue in between. He watched, shaking his head.

My body was shaking, something Taehyung was quick to notice. He laid his body weight on top of me, kissing me with the most passion he ever has. The shaking came to an eventual stop, both of us relaxing for a few seconds. "Well, I guess we both lost." I mumbled, not really knowing how to not make this awkward. Taehyung laughed, shaking his head violently.

"Let's not do that weird thing where you think I'm going to suddenly leave you." He smiled, running his hands up and down my thighs. "I'll go run us a bath." He got up, jogging into the bathroom. I heard water turn on followed by a few drawers opening. After a few moments, he came back and scooped me up into his arms bridle style, making me laugh. Taehyung sat down first, then helping me sit down in between his legs. I let out a small hum, leaning against his torso and relaxing. "You know Taehyung, this is really nice." I smiled, letting him trace little patterns onto my shoulders and chest.

He smiled, kissing my shoulder gently. "Your girlfriend is going to be so lucky, she just doesn't know it yet.", "Well um, I was actually hoping you'd be my girlfriend. And I mean like, official official like dating and going out and doing things together." He laughed, "Not just hook-ups at 3 am.", "Are you serious? You're messing with me?" I calmly said, acting as if I didn't care but the frantic beating in my chest told another story. "Yeah, I've loved you since like high school." Taehyung said, becoming cheesy and acting offended when I made fun of him for it.

"I'd love to be with you Taehyung. I just think it's weird that the youngest CEO in the world is dating a broke college student." I said. "And don't get me wrong, I'm not dating you just because you're a CEO. I actually do love and care about you a lot. I always have cared about you in a more than friends way.", "Stop referring to yourself as a broke college student. You're my best friend since high school, my first ever love and my love now." He said, a dumb smile plastered across his face. I laughed, making fun of him again.

"I'm glad Taehyung. I love you too." I smiled, looking back and pecking his lips. He wore the brightest smile, kissing my shoulders while wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I smiled, "Jesus Christ I'm happy that dick broke up with me." Taehyung laughed in response, "Get broken up by a dick and then dicked down after. You fucking slut.", I laughed, turning around to punch him in the shoulder. "Says the one that was willing to fuck me right there, on the spot." I said, mocking him. "Hey, you never told me to stop. And if you did you know I would've." He said, beginning to ramble and get cheesy again. "Okay, relax. You just fucked me, don't get all phycological about it." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"You know what?? I am glad that this time you wasted it on me" he lovingly kissed your cheek.

The End.

Feel free to like or reblog, comment down any requests you have and you can follow me inorder to stay updated.

~peace out.

[cherryhanji]

rain and you

bulleted scenario. skz x reader

genre: pure fluff (coz i'm feelin soft af), high school au

words: 2.5k

warning(s): none

description: a not so nice weather is approaching and sadly, you didn't bring an umbrella with you.

➤bang chan

• "i'll walk you home, the weather's not good"

• you lift your gaze to the sky, and he isn't wrong, but the fact that chan, your high school senior and also your /crush/ offers to walk you home, shyness enveloped in your whole being making you refuse to his offer.

• "no, oppa. it's okay. our house is just nearby. I can run though."

• "are you sure? you brought an umbrella with you?"

• smiling sheepishly, you shook your head

• "it's okay, oppa. I promise. But, I need to go home now."

• you bid your goodbyes to chan and he did the same before you head to the direction of your home.

• but being the unluckiest human being you are, the strong rain pour making you slightly damped.

• you ran to the nearest convenience store and decided to stay there until the rain stop pouring.

• while waiting for the rain to stop, you turn your gaze to the store's entrance and saw chan, who immediately found you sitting, hair sticking to your forehead and damped uniform thanks to the rain.

• shaking his head, he went near you putting his umbrella at the side.

• "what did I tell you? The weather's not good."

• he grabbed something inside his bag, a big jacket and hand it to you.

• "wh-what will I do with this oppa?"

• "maybe put it inside your bag? Haha! Just kidding! Wear that first and let me take you home. No more buts."

• you just nodded and try to stay calm while your heart is now drumming inside your chest. Your crush, /your crush/ will walk you home. Maybe not bringing an umbrella isn't that bad.

***

➤minho/lee know

• this day maybe the worst day you ever had in your life

• flopping the math exams because you didn't copy the notes you supposed to be reviewing, not able to pass the activity on time. Procrastination sucks, but you still do it. (like mate, stop procrastinating)

• and not bringing an umbrella in this bad weather. seriously?

• stomping your feet because of your stubbornness, you wait for the rain to stop at the school's waiting area.

• you keep on checking the time on your phone when a voice called you.

• you lift your gaze to find the direction of the voice to see Minho, your classmate aka mortal enemy(aka again, your crush) waving at you. Your heart skip a beat but tried to composed an annoyed face. You just furrowed your eyebrows as he went to you.

• "what now minho?"

• "looks like your lonely at the middle of this sad weather. Don't have an umbrella?"

• you grunted at his annoying manner

• "shut up, i'm not in the mood."

• "i think that means no. want me to walk you home?" He said and winked at you and you swear, your cheeks are like tomatoes because of its redness.

• "n-no need! I can go home by myself, i just need to wait for this to stop."

• minho just furrowed his eyebrows and tutted at you.

• "looks like this rain will keep on pouring for hours. Are you sure you'll wait for it to stop?"

• you look at the sky, dark clouds welcomed you and you contemplated to retort because he isn't lying.

• minho chuckled and raised his eyebrows at you.

• you just puffed your cheeks and let out the air in it to calm your insides. Minho is just looking at you.

• "fine!" You just gave up making Minho chuckle and put his arms on your shoulder making you jump at the sudden contact.

• "you can't resist my charms, don't you?"

• you just huffed and rolled your eyes at him

• "shut up! it's, it's just that I didn't have an umbrella with me!"

• he just shrugged and opened his umbrella, "okay! If you say so!"

***

➤changbin

• you and your classmate changbin went to the convenience store after your classes to buy some food when the rain suddenly poured making you frown

• "screw me for being forgetful dude, i forgot my umbrella."

• changbin turned to you and chuckled as he knew that you were a forgetful human being

• "i'm not surprised y/n. you even forgot our assignment in biology a while ago."

• "yeah, okay. poor me. i guess i'll stay here until the rain stops"

• changbin smiled and tapped your shoulder making you look at him.

• "don't be sulky. I can walk you home you know." he winked and showed you his umbrella.

• "hey, is it okay? I mean we don't have the same way going home."

• "it's okay. I can't just leave you here alone waiting for the rain to stop."

• "you can wait for the rain to stop too.." you said matter-of-factly

• changbin stayed silent for a while, realizing you were not wrong.

• "w-why? you don't like me to walk you home?"

• "I didn't say anything."

• "good, now let's go."

• changbin grabbed his bag and yours making you gasp slightly.

• "hey you don't ha--"

• "it's okay. let's go"

• "Uh... The umbrella is not that big, so..."

• changbin wrapped his arms on your shoulders making you moved closer to him.

• "stay closer so you won't get wet."

• you just nodded while your heart is already thudding in your chest.

***

➤hyunjin

• after watching Hyunjin's basketbball practice, you decided to go home now.

• You have a huge crush on the school's varsity player so you won't let the opportunity of watching him play go to waste.

• even if the weather is not that nice since noon and you didn't bring an umbrella with you..

• You just sighed and decided to run to the bus stop even if the rain is already pouring hard.

• you were preparing to run when a guy's voice called you making you stop at what you're planning to do.

• you turn your head and saw hyunjin smiling at you.

• because of how flustered you are, you turned your back at him to hide your blushing face.

• "hey. you're y/n, right? are you going home now?" you eyes widen when you heard his voice near you.

• you slowly turn your head to him and smile sheepishly.

• "ah yes. I'll just run to the bus stop, tho."

• "I'm also going to the bus stop. As I can see, you don't have an umbrella with you. do you mind if I walk with you there?"

• hyunjin offered you as he showed his umbrella with him.

• you just stayed silent as the fact that you're crush is offering you to walk with him at the bus stop.

• "uh, y/n. still there?"

• you shook your head going back to reality and looked at him.

• "uh, sorry. What is it again?"

• "I asked you if it's okay if I walk with you at the bus stop. Since you don't have an umbrella and it's getting darker now."

• you look at the time on your phone showing that it's already 6:30 pm.

• you just accepted his offer even of your heart almost jump out of your chest because of the fact that you're near, and walking with your crush.

• the cold weather is contrasting with the warm feeling that is now lingering on your cheeks.

• "let's go?"

• you nodded and just shed yourself under hyunjin's umbrella.

***

➤jisung/han

• you bid your goodbyes to your friend as you separate ways going home

• but it seems like the weather is not on your side today.

• rain is already falling but you forgot to bring your umbrella with you.

• frowning, you just wait for the rain to stop.

• "y/n!"

• you lift your gaze to the guy who called you who turns out to be jisung, your classmate.

• "h-hey, jisung... why are you still here? dance practice?"

• he nodded and sit beside you. you just hummed and turn your attention to your phone. awkwardness start to envelop between you.

• all your classmates knew that jisung likes you, a lot. Little did they know, you also feel the same, making this situation awkward for you.

• "aren't you going home yet?"

• "not yet, the rain is still pouring, i guess i need to wait for it to stop."

• "uh... i have an umbrella here. i can walk you home if you like."

• your eyes widen out of shock. you felt your heart skip a beat. is this even happening???

• "oh, i... is it okay? i mean are we having the same way home?"

• he just nodded at you and smile sheepishly as the thought of walking his crush home, which is you, makes his heart do somersaults

• "oh, okay... if you say so. thank you..."

• "no prob. i guess you're friend already went home."

• "yeah, because i thought i can go home with no problem. but the weather is quite mean to me."

• "let's go? Before it gets any stronger."

• jisung scooted you closer to him so you can't make yourself wet.

• you slightly jumped at how his hands are warm and soft making your heart again jump.

• jisung is quite shocked because of his newfound confidence but he just brushed it off so it won't make the situation more awkward.

• "thank you, jisung."

• "you're welcome."

***

➤felix

• you are calmly waiting for the rain to stop inside the library.

• you were stucked there for almost 2 hours, because your groupmate already went home. Luckily you have some books there to avoid the seeping boredom in you.

• "y/n?"

• you stopped reading ang lift your gaze, seeing Felix. You smiled at him as he went near you.

• "hey, still studying?"

• "nah, just to kill boredom. I'm waiting for the rain to stop. I can't go home under the rain."

• felix just shook his head as his arms are propped on the table while resting his chin on his palms.

• he straighten his seat as an idea popped into his head.

• hey y/n! i can walk you home. I have an umbrella with me."

• a smile appeared on your face after he said that.

• "really? you're a lifesaver, lix! but, is that okay?"

• "of course! Why not?"

• "i mean, your house is far from ours. You might come home late."

• "it's okay. I'll just tell mom that I helped out a friend."

• "thank you lixie!"

• "come on, while it's still early."

***

➤seungmin

• "that's all. don't forget to bring the stuffs tomorrow okay? so we can prepare earlier for the fair."

• seungmin, your student council president finally dismissed the meetinng for the preparation for the school fair next week.

• "y/n, don't forget to bring the curtains for the stage design, okay? gotta go, my mom is already outside"

• you just bid your goodbyes to yeji and fixed your things, it's already 5 pm and the thought of hearing your mom scold you for coming home late makes you frown.

• but as you take a look at the window outside the room, strong rain greeted you.

• you opened your bag to check if you bring your umbrella with you but you saw nothing.

• "urgh! why does it have to be today??"

• "hey, y/n? is there any problem?"

• seungmin approached you as he heard you groaned

• you thought you're the only one left inside so you were quite shocked to hear seungmin's voice.

• "uh... uhm yeah. I forgot my umbrella. And it's raining outside. but i cannot wait for it to stop, my mom will scold me if i go home late again."

• you blurted out while seungmin is intently listening to you.

• you just sighed and sit down on the chair near you.

• "hey, want me to walk you home? i have a quite big umbrella with me. I think we can fit in here."

• seungmin offered to you showing his umbrella.

• you looked at seungmin for a while, registering what he said to you.

• seungmin is the type of student who is quiet, and has the looks of a smart, intimidating student, that's why you really admire him. and he's also the reason why you joined the student council. In that way, you can have at least some interactions with him.

• seungmin is not the type to talk to people casually especially if he's not really close with them. So him, offering to walk you home, makes you shock and makes your heart flutter.

• "a-are you sure? I mean i can just wait here. I'll just tell my mom I had to wait for the rain to stop."

• he just sighed and grab your bag.

• "come on, i just can't leave you here. And besides, we're on the same way home."

• seungmin said making your eyes wide.

• "really?? how did you know?"

• "it's because I saw you one time. I just didn't call your name because... because I'm shy..."

• he said and you can't be wrong. you just saw his cheeks slightly turned red making you chuckle. he's so /cute/.

• "you know what? Let's go."

• you just nodded and head out of the room.

***

➤jeongin/i.n

• you just finished doing your project and you're getting ready to go home.

• when you heard the loud pouring of rain outside your classroom window.

• you grunted as you realized that you forgot to bring your umbrella with you..

• jeongin stopped at what his doing as he saw your mini tantrums.

• "hey, y/n. you look like you lost from a game. What happened?"

• "i forgot to bring my umbrella with me! And it's raining outside."

• you just slumped yourself at your seat and closed your bag.

• "i'll just need to wait for it to stop."

• "uh, y/n. i think the condition of the sky says no. Look, it's quite dark outside."

• you turn your eyes to the window to check the sky, and jeongin isn't lying.

• "i think i need to run to the bus stop while raining."

• you huffed out of frustration and leaned on the chair.

• "i'll walk you there, perhaps i want to go home too now."

• you straighten up your seat and looked at jeongin.

• "really?"

• he nodded at you and stand up.

• "come on, i badly want to go home now."

• you just nodded at him and grabbed your bag and head out of the room.

• "thank you, innie."

• "no prob, princess."

______

it's been a lifetime since i posted a bulleted type of scenarios and all i can say is-- none. Yeah, anyways this fic was made a long time ago. but i just got the courage to post it today after lots of edits ajd rereadings. I hope u like it and thank u!

--

Special thanks to my forever vivi @peaches-writes for helping me with my struggles. u the best girl💖

[sacredmouche]

Pavlovian Conditioning | Kageyama x Reader

Word count: 1.8K

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff (?), College!AU

College!Kageyama x College!Reader

"Damn you, Kageyama! I've been doing this for TWO FUCKING MONTHS, and you haven't fall into my obvious hints that I like you!" is what you wanted to tell him for a long time now. You have been dropping hints to him and he doesn't seem to notice. Helping him with his homework voluntarily, asking him to eat with you during lunch (coz boi he eats alone all the time), and writing his notes when he falls asleep during class, those are some things you do for him that obviously say "I like you, Kageyama!" but you don't know what is wrong with this boy. Is he that stupid or just numb? You don't know but what you know is that you are not going to give up until he realize that you like him and make him like you.

Another day, another stress brought to you by being a college student with Kageyama not taking your hints on the side. What a great time to be alive!

Today is one of those days when you feel like not dropping hints to him, you're tired and you have something big carrying on your shoulders. You’re a leader of your research group for fuck sake.

"We're only freshmen but why the fuck do we have to comply with all these activities?" you whispered with unbelievable look in your eyes. A day in university just come to an end and you are in your favorite cafe with all your school papers on the table, waiting for the barista to call your name and sip on that delectable coffee you just ordered. Studying in this cafe is relaxing and the ambiance is perfect for you to focus, so it is a part of your day to stop by here and study.

"It's because you're a college student, stupid" a familiar voice made you raise you head and it was your childhood friend who study in the same university as you.

"Oikawa!!" calling him with tears in your eyes, nope you're not sad you're just happy to see him.

"Hey hey, don't tear up cry baby!" he pulled the chair in front of you and sat down, looking all the papers scattered on the table then looking at you in disbelief.

"What in the hell- this is a lot" you looked at him and gave him a look that says "I fucking know, right" then letting out a big sigh.

"Yes, great king this is a lot, but that's not all! I have a quiz on my major tomorrow, and I need to study three chapters," you complained, pulling your untied hair into a messy bun.

Oikawa did not speak but you still feel comforted with his presence, but then he opened the topic you really do not want to talk about.

"So how's it going with-"

"For customer y/n?" the barista cut him off mid sentence, great maybe he'll forget talking about him. Goddamnit Oikawa, y u gotta bring him up?

You stood up and went to the counter to get your order, doing everything slowly so he'll forget what he was about to say a while ago. But it's Oikawa we're talking about, he'll never stop until he knows the answer to his curiosity.

Reaching you seat and as soon as you sat down, he asked "So anyway, how's it going with Tobio-chan?"

You gave him a look that throws knives that could kill him.

"W-what? I'm just asking, just wanna know!"

"well... I don't fucking know what is wrong with him! He doesn't take all my hints and I do not want to tell him directly. Is he that stupid?" Oikawa laughed and you raised your eyebrow making him stop.

"Yes, he's stupid. You're a Psychology major why don't you use psychology instead of doing common things that common girls do. Then, bye! I gotta go, good luck with school... and with Tobio-chan!" then he made his way out leaving you confused and thinking.

Use psychology?

You shrug it off for now and just start working on your school papers that is due tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.

"I'm home!" you announced your arrival as soon as you stepped inside your house, going straight in your bedroom and changed into a pair of pajamas and comfortable shirt.

You set up your study table with your psychology book in it, a notebook, and some pens and highlighters.

You've been studying for half an hour and you just started on the second chapter out of three chapters, you don’t really mind sleeping late if you go to school with confidence that you’ll ace your quiz.

"Hmm, Classical Conditioning... by Pavlov. Okay okay. Hmm okay I understand" you muttered while reading the textbook definition of the term. Studying the three types of learning as indicated on your Psychology book, an idea – a brilliant one – came to the magnificent brain of yours. A smile forming in your lips as you continue your studying.

I bet this one will work so be ready Kageyama.

------

“Good morning Tooru-chan!” you cling your arm to your friend who’s giving you now a disgusted look, but you just gave him a wide smile.

“What’s gotten into you? Why do you look happy? Why are you happy? Are you okay? And why the fuck did you call me Tooru-chan? I’m older than you, you know?”

“Woah easy boy, eaaaasssy. Why flood me with questions? My mind is already flooded” flooded with thoughts of Kageyama.

“Flooded with thoughts of Kageyama” he said that earned a laugh from you, he looked down on you and furrowed his brows.

“It’s because of you that’s why I am thinking of him more than usual, idiot. You’re a genius. I complimented you, take it or leave it” You sassed and walked faster.

“Why? What? What are you talking about?” he asked as he ran to close the big distance between the two of you.

“You’ll know it, I’ll tell you when the time comes. I have 10 AM class, I gotta go. See ya!” You left him there, this time he is the one who is confused and thinking. Why is she so happy? Why did she call me a genius? Not that I do not think of myself as one, but why did she call me a genius?

Making your way to your classroom, you stopped by to a vending machine, buying two cartons of milk. This class is your major and Kageyama is in that class too, so it makes you extra excited to reach the room. This subject last for two hours but you don’t really mind since learning is everything, right? And you’re a flirt and seeing Kageyama for two hours is too much to make your heart go boom boom.

After the quiz, there was some time left so a little discussion took place until it’s time to wrap up.

Lunchtime. Okay, this will work. I trust you, Pavlov. Don’t let your bitch down!

“Uhh, Kageyama–”

“Damn!” his loud voice made you jump; you were stoned in your place. Heart beating faster with a little bit of pain, thinking that he was irritated by you. You are about to tear up and take your leave, but he spoke.

“Hey, you were saying something? I’m sorry, it’s just that I forgot to bring my milk” your eyes sparkled. Heart skipped a beat. You’re in cloud nine, thanking the Gods.

“Yes, uhh let’s eat lunch together and here, wait a sec” you rummage through your things to get that extra carton of milk you bought on the way here.

“Good thing I bought two milks, it must be destiny” you laughed and handed him the milk and it’s his turn for his eyes to sparkle, he was so touched because it’s milk, duh. He wouldn’t share his milk with everyone, but you shared yours. Now he thinks of you as a goddess… of milk, who give free milks to those who needs it.

“Let’s eat lunch” he announced. I am not going to let this opportunity slip, a goddess asked me out. He thought.

Yo what the fuck? He agreed! Yes, this is it. A love story will emerge.

The two of you made your way out of the classroom and walked towards the university cafeteria. Now, what to do? You don’t really know what to do now, you both are eating in silence.

Come on, brain I need you please don’t leave me hanging!

But your brain is not cooperating with you, lunchtime ended and you both parted ways. It’s okay, you feel contented, you ate lunch with him and tomorrow you are going to ask him again because giving up is not on your vocabulary.

You are so eager to make him like you, so you are pulling Classical Conditioning at him to make that happen, all thanks to Oikawa for giving you that idea.

-----

It’s been seven days since you started using classical conditioning. Giving him his daily milk, you bought at the vending machine, watching as his eyes go sparkle.

You noticed the changes of him. Whenever you showed up, a big smile is forming on his lips just like the smile you see when you bring him his milks, his face painted with happiness just like when he is drinking his milk, and how his eyes sparkled when you give him his milk.

You rummage through your things just like the past seven days and give him his carton of milk. You stretched out your arms and handed him the unopened carton.

“Here you go, Kageyama. Your daily dose of milk” you said as you sip on your own milk.

He eyed you and took the milk

“You don’t really have to do all this for me to like you” your eyes widened at his words. Shocked. Wondering if he knew it all this time.

“Huh?” is all you can say

“I know you’re pulling Classical Conditioning on me to make me like you, did you not realize that I am not going to like you if you do that?” Oh. It hurts. Pavlov, you let me down. I hate you. You thought. Standing there in front of him, waiting for him to say another word even if it pains you. He is so straightforward it hurts, right there in my heart. But what the fuck? I thought he was stupid. He understands what classical conditioning is when all he does is sleep in this class!

“How long have–” he cut you off mid-sentence

“You associated yourself with my favorite milk, it’s not you who makes me excited, it’s the milk” he continued. Why am I still standing here? Every word he’s saying hurts.

“But that will be the scenario if I don’t like you,” Huh? You looked up to him, teary-eyed. A confused look emitted through your eyes.

“But I already like you, your presence alone makes me excited. With or without the milk. So stop.” he confessed and all you gave him is a wide smile that is filled with pure delight.

Thank you, Pavlov. You did not let me down.

THANK YOU TO MY FAM @teentitannns and @gaydistriss!! I couldn't choose which character suits the plot and they helped me. Luv u.

[junipersgarden]

metanoia 1. | Recover

PAIRING: Peter Parker x Superhero!Reader

SUMMARY: 8 months later from Tony’s funeral and the promise Peter and you made, where do you two stand now?

WORD COUNT: 4119 words

WARNINGS: N/A?

a/n: i did not expect this to blow up so quickly so thank you all sm!! ill be updating every Friday/ re uploading from Wattpad and converting it to here!! hope you enjoy this chapter and ill see you next Friday ; )

[NOT MY GIF] 

...

8 Months Later...

...

"I have a plan. Okay. First, I sit next to Y/N on the flight."

"Mhm."

"Second,  I'm gonna buy a dual head phone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time."

"Okay."

"Three, when we go to Venice; Venice is super famous for making stuff out of glass right?"

"True."

"So I'm going to buy her a white gardenia necklace because it's a really pretty flower and... because... well-"

"Is it because of the-?"

"Because of its meaning yeah. Step 4 is when we're in Paris, I'm going to take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace and 5, I'm gonna tell her how I feel. And 6, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way."

"And don't forget Step 7."

"Step 7?" Peter questions and clicks the top of his pen to write down Step 7, ears perked to listen to Ned.

"Don't do any of that."

Peter lets out an annoyed and frustrated sigh as Ned gave him a look that expressed 'what? what did i do?'

"Why?"

"Because we're gonna be bachelors in Europe Peter!"

"Ned."

"Look, I may not know much, but I do know Europeans love Americans."

Peter had little belief in Ned's statement that he scrunched up his face and looked at Ned.

"Really?"

"-And more than half of them are women!" Ned exclaims to make his point.

"...Sure but, I really like Y/N man. She's awesome, she's super funny like in a kind of dork way, and whenever she looks at me I feel like- she's coming over don't say anything!" Peter quickly shuts himself up.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Don't say anything!" Is the only thing you hear as you walked up to Peter and Ned's table.

"Sup guys? You excited for the science trip?" You greet them, rocking your body with a smile planted on your face, your assignment folder occupying your hands. Technically you got up from your, F/N's and MJ's table so you could photo copy your guy's group project but you heard Peter and Ned rambling about Europe and thought you could start up a conversation.

"Hey! Uh, yeah! We're just talking about the trip."

"Yeah and Peter's Plan." Ned confidently slides in the conversation.

Peter's Plan?

You stop moving and shift yourself to Peter, averting your eyes so yours meet his.

"...You have a plan? For what?" You nervously smile and laugh at him, playing with your bracelet on your wrist. The bracelet was silver but held a black cross (similar to a crucifix) in the middle of it.

"I- I don't have a plan." Peter mumbles, fiddling with his pen and looking at you with anxious eyes.

"No he's just gonna collect tiny statues while we're travelling to other countries." Ned blurts out and you can see he exchanged a look to Peter.

"I didn't know you liked-" You stopped speaking immediately, your response lost in your mind, something else distracting you.

You looked past Peter's head and your eyes meet with the dozens of drawings and tributes to Iron Man, to Tony and his sacrifice.

It seemed like yesterday you were on the battlefield, when you found out Peter was Spider-Man and all of those emotions and memories swept and flooded your mind in a tidal wave.

You can feel the whole room spinning even though your feet were planted on the ground, the voices of Peter and Ned fading as the sobs of Peter replaced them and Tony's dying breath.

It's been 8 months and you thought you had finally moved on from all the grief and suffering, the sleepless nights full of insidious nightmares and the suffocating feeling that came from all those panic attacks.

"You can rest now..."

"Did you photo copy it?" Someone asks and you whirl yourself around suddenly and possibly too fast, loosing balance and landing into someone's arms. F/N.

"Oh shoot sorry F/N I was talking to Ned and Peter about Europe and got side tracked?"

"It's okay! I was just checking since MJ was sorta getting antsy since she wanted it to all be done before you guys leave tomorrow." F/N beams at you, still holding you up.

"I-I'll go do it now-"

"Y/L/N, did you firstly ask me and secondly get a hall pass?" Ms. Warren spoke up and alarmed you. She was sitting at her desk and was staring at the 4 of you.

"N-No Ms. Warren..."

"I'll go!" Peter shot straight up from his seat. Ned shook his head and F/N laughed at his eagerness.

"No Parker you've got work to do. Y/L/N, Davis can take you."

Davis... Brad Davis?

Just on cue, Brad lifted his head up from being preoccupied at his desk and sent you a friendly smile and wave. He stood up immediately and from his demeanor, seemed over the top that the teacher asked him to escort you to the printers. He looked so familiar but no matter how heard you tried, you couldn't conjure where you'd seen him from.

Brad walked over to you and was still smiling from before so you nicely smiled back. Brad offered you to go first so you walked to Ms. Warren's desk and grabbed the huge hall pass with Brad trailing after you.

"We won't be long Ms. Warren!" Brad yelled out as he closed the classroom door.

You shot F/N a look that said 'okay guess i go and also what just happened?' and F/N shrugged back with no explanation and return back to MJ. You saw Peter looking at you as you left and saw him sigh heavily and immediately get back to his work. I hope Peter's okay.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The cold, crisp breeze whirled through the dim lit streets of Queens as you walked back home;  the streets were always alive at night with people hurrying from one place to another, lights shine brightly, beaming against tall, towering buildings and billboards, apartments until rooftops could reach the sky. New York was always cold in the night and what lurked in the darkness was even colder. Robberies, assaults and muggings were a regular sighting in alleyways but with yourself as Saviour and Peter as Spider-Man, the number has been decreasing over time thanks to the both of you. School was weird today with the whole Peter and Ned thing and especially with Brad. He was nice taking you to the printers but he kept asking way to many questions about you and you caught him staring a couple of times... weird.

You gripped your coat tightly around you, wrapping it as much as you could around your body to fight the wind, shivers being sent down your spine. Your mind had been blurry lately; balancing the lifestyle of school, social life and duties into one while trying to properly rest and to be there whenever anyone needed you was a struggle; the biggest fear you had was if you just took one, innocent day off that'd you regret it for the rest of your life. You also found it hard to escape your thoughts,  insecurities and nightmares whenever you'd zoned out or even closed your eyes for a second. Despite it all you had your anchors though; the people who were holding you down from losing yourself from all the madness happening. You slip out a smile at the thought of those special individuals; friends that you put above anything or anyone else. Peter, Ned and even Michelle were all you had and all you were relying on to help you back up.

"Help! Someone!" A stranger cries into the night, pleading for a saviour, followed by the sound of gunshots and glass shattering.

Show time.

Reacting instantly, you check for your surroundings before fleeing into the shadows of a lonesome alley and with a single flick of your bracelet, it lets of a white glow, letting you know its activated.

"Hello Ms. L/N, how may I assist you tonight?"

"You know the drill ARIS: suit up."

"Right away Y/N."

On command, the familiar cool and sensational feeling of the nano tech being released from your bracelet began spreading all across your body; you loved the feeling of your suit coming alive just by wishing it, AI on the ready and that the suit was also with you, being a part of you.

As you relished in the moment your suit was fully on your body, you rushed out of the alleyway, concealing your true identity under your mask, prepared to fight,  you begin to follow the cries of the citizen in need.

You felt your heart beat and pace fasten, senses heightened and the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

A shift in your vision changes as you feel your pupils fill fully black and steady themselves with your mask lenses,  you exert all your energy into a singular jump and successfully land on the rooftop.

"ARIS, scan for location of activity."

"The distress signal appeared from 21st Street."

Ahhh, classic bank robbery.

"Okay ARIS, are all systems ready to go?"

"Affirmative. Initiating heads up display and initializing flight power."

You roll your head back and crack your knuckles, jumping up and down on the spot, ready for take off.

Nodding your head, you extend your arms out and feel the palms opening up and see the infinite blue glow from your thrustsers and feel the energy spreading and going to the soles of your suit.

Staring down the run way of the roof, you start walking before speeding up into a full sprint, running across the abandoned roof top. Steps quickening, you can see the end of the roof nearing with each step you take; you're going to jump. Before you know it you've leapt off the roof and it feels like time has stopped and you're floating on nothing; it's only you, the sky and the city's blurred noises and lights.

"Flight power fully restored."  ARIS states, crashing and hauling you back into reality.

The euphoria of you floating has started to turn into the immense awareness that you are plummeting straight down with such speed to the lively streets and roads of New York below.

Extending your arms and legs, you point them into the direction of 21st Street and hear the whirring of your suit taking control and then, you're off. You're flying, just like Tony did, in the late night sky of New York City to stop a robbery.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Positioning yourself, your eyes meet with the victim in front of you; the typical situation.

"Hey."

The criminals all stop with their actions and immediately turn their heads to you. The hostages look up at you with hope and desperate, tears of fear and joy being to stream from their eyes.

"Looks like you forgot your credit cards huh fellas?"

2 out of the 4 robbers stand up and you took the chance to fire an energy blast, distracting them you slide on your knees towards the captives.

"Go! Go!" You beckon as you freed them from their constraints, they hurried out of the door shouting 'thank you's'  and praises for your service and gratitude.

Getting up from the ground quickly, you turn around and see the 2 robbers running toward you.

You spring off the floor, back onto your feet and observe your surroundings; the 2 robbers are still sprinting towards you. You ball your fists and stance yourself ready to fight.

"Guys, guys, guys! You can either return back the money and nothing happens or we can do this the annoying and hard way."

One of the robbers racing towards you pulls back their gun and you hear a gunshot and feel a little ting and flick on your suit; the robber was really dumb enough to shoot you and your bulletproof suit.

"Well, guess you chose the hard way."

The 2 robbers still at full speed rush towards you but before they can even touch you, you step to the side and they loose control and crash into the wall.

"Ooooh! That's at least gotta leave a bruise.' You mock them.

You dart towards the fallen robbers, dizzy and dazed from the impact. You hit your right wrist twice on your suit and it opens up and greets you with what you were looking for; your trusty tool and invention of electric rope. The rope appeared as a blue wire with white sparks that shot out of it and you used it to tie up criminals and lets say if they were to hesitate or make a runner, they'd get a bit of a shock.

Grabbing the 1st and 2nd robber's hands, you wrap the wire around them both so they are both stuck together and unable to escape.

2 down, 2 to go.

The other 2 robbers that were still looting money had stopped since they'd heard the crash and the groaning of pain from the one's you'd taken on.

One robber stands up and places his fingers in his mouth and whistles.

You tilt your head in confusion but see that 3 more step out from the remaining safes.

"Aww brought more of your friends for me? How sweet..."

They all attack you at once, bullets ricochet off you and bounce back, flying back at them.

In unison they all duck down behind a counter from the bullets and curse out profanities and you take the opportunity to dash forward and leap onto the counter and land in front of them.

They all jump to their feet and a robber steps in front of you and tries to land a hit. You grab their arm and twist it and they let off a howl of anguish, you tasered him with your bracelet and flipping and throwing him to the floor.

Another takes his place and goes to hit you but one from behind tackles you and pins your arms, locking them in a firm and harsh grip.

Even through the suit, you can feel sharp fingernails attempting to latch and pierce you.

The guy in front of you clutches a solid grasp on both of your shoulders, forcefully yanks you down into his knee and hits your stomach. Already you can feel a bruise forming on your lower abdomen.

Jesus this one will be hard to cover...

You groan at the extensive, burning sensation building, your skin becoming tender and aching from the hit. The guy holding your arms down is tightening his grip and

"Given up huh Saviour?" The robber in front of you spits.

"T-that's the thing...." You let out a breathless chuckle, "I'm only getting started."

The robbers stare at each other and back before laughing furiously at you, the rest approaching you with guns.

What the robbers were thinking is that they'd won; they had successfully robbed Queens County Saving Bank and had taken down one of Queen's own superheroes. You on the other hand, had plans and knew perfectly well how criminal's minds worked; allow them to think they've won, they'll loose all focus and control on the situation, so you'd gotten them in the spot you wanted them: busy getting ready to celebrate a fake victory and not realizing the black smoke manifesting around them.

"As I said, I'm just getting started." A smirk lies on your covered face as you look deeply into the taunting robber's eyes full of bewilderment and fear.

The black smoke begins flurrying around your body finds it way around the robber's hands, instantly making him let go you. You lunge forward and punch the one in front of you with full power, he stumbles back and falls to the ground defeated. You then sharply turn and kick the other in the face.

The two out of the three still left go to attack you but you raise your arm in defense and send a gust of smoke flying to them. They stagger back and remain frozen as the smoke curls around and drags them to the ground. You rush over and deploy more of your rope onto the two and wrap it tightly around them, restraining them to the one place.

The last robber you spot is kneeling on the ground, trembling slightly with fear and piling as much money possible into one bag, trying to make a clean getaway.

Slowly and antagonistically, you make your way over to him and stand there, staring at him and waiting for him to notice. So busy and frantically he continues filling the bag he doesn't take care of his surroundings or even the cries of his comrades.

"I'll take that thank you." You cleanly snatch the bag and kick him to the ground with your heel.

He lands flat on his chest, hands out to the side you grab them and wrap them around once more.

People emerge from hiding and cry out cheers of joy and appreciation, a few giving you a pat on the shoulder, hugging you and the occasional asking for photos. The sound of police sirens ring in the distance, signaling its time to go. Waving your goodbyes, you turn to flee the scene but you hear and notice the vibration of a tap being played on your suit. You pivot back around and see one of the bank accountant's smiling frailly at you, evidently anxious and nervous in your presence.

"T-thank you so much Saviour, how ever can we repay you?" The accountant's eyes full of tears and lost distress begged.

"You don't need too; this is my job. Saving people's lives is what I do." You reply to the accountant, taking off into the night.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"You did quite an excellent job tonight might I say so myself Y/N."

"Why thank you my Another, Rather, Intelligent System."

"Was that perhaps what you call, a flex?"

"...Yes ARIS, that was a flex." You mumble with a hint of embarrassment.

Currently soaring in the air with another criminal taken down, the fresh and cool wind rattles against you. Patrols were always 'relaxing' in a sense to you; gliding around the city and if your AI or you come to the attention of any law breaking activity, you swoop in (literally) and handle it. At times, you would bump into now and then into Spider-Man and the two of you mixed with your skills, would work together as a dynamic duo to take down the enemy. Queens loved and adored the both of you as individuals but as partners as well. Before knowing Peter was Spider-Man, there was a bit of tension and jealously and bickering from both of you: 'Dibs I had him first!' 'No, you know I patrol this area!' arguments occurred so many times that even the Avengers were pulled into it.

"I apologize for interrupting your thinking but it seems to be you have approximately 3 missed calls from your mother and from Pepper Potts accordingly."  

Missed calls from Mum is bad but wait- Pepper called?

"W-when did they call ARIS? Any voicemails?"

"Your mother called to say to be home earlier from 'study group' to prepare for Europe tomorrow and that not to miss dinner again... which you did and Ms. Potts left nothing for you."

"C-can you auto text Mum that study group when longer than expected and that Y/F/N's offered dinner so I stayed and that I'll be home soon?"

"Already on it and for Pepper?"

"Don't text her anything."

"Text sent."

Pepper? The Pepper Potts? It's been 8 months; what does she want and is that Peter?

Drifting down from the air, you land quietly behind a wall and crouch down behind it,  peering out carefully and you see Peter in his Iron Spider suit, eyes red and wet with tears as he stares at a piece of graffiti.

What's so bad about- oh.

The piece of artwork was of Tony; no wonder he was so distraught.

"You okay Spider-Man?"

"Y-yeah, I j-just c-crashed into a w-wall?" His voice high pitched, obviously lying.

"Uh huh... mind if I sit?"

"O-oh uh... no! No, you can sit!"

Giggling at Peter's awkwardness, you slide next to him and take a seat. You knew something was wrong by the way he was breathing and that his eyes were wet and red but how do you bring it up?

"So..."

"So...?"

"H-how is everything Spidey?" God that was awful.

"T-things could be s-so much better... just, the whole Blip thing is, it's getting to me."

"Blip?"

"The Blip? W-where the alien guy on Titan s-snapped his fingers and e-everyone d-disappeared?"

"Wait that's called the Blip?"

"Well that's what everyone is calling it."

"It sounds better than something to do with a maniac murdering half of the Earth's population... plus it's easy to say and remember."

And for the first time in a long time, you actually heard Spider-Man and Peter laugh. It was more of a sad and dry chuckle but, at least it was something.

"I'm assuming you didn't hear about 21st Street then?"

"21st Street what now?"

"Just now there was a robbery; apparently some of uhhh, what's his name? The macho, pacho penguin looking guy? Sends out his henchmen to do all the dirty work?"

"K-Kingpin?"

"Yeah! Pretty sure that's the one! But, really? Kingpin? Sounds really dumb; reminds me of bowling or something instead of an evil business man."

"His head does look like a bowling ball..." Peter murmured quietly.

You smiled brightly and threw your head back as you laughed; that's the Peter and Spider-Man I know.

From his mask, you could tell he was smiling since the corner of his mouth was showing the little peaks from out of it.

Your and his laughter began to die down you two just stayed silence  and looked up into the cloudless sky.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"It really is... makes my night."

"And mine as well, I mean besides your company." Spider-Man, well more like Peter coughed, trying to cover up what he said.

"T-thank you though.. this was a nice chat Saviour. Not to alarm you or anything, but I'm not gonna be here much longer-"

"W-woah, what the hell do you mean-"

"N-no! Sorry, I worded that wrong don't panic! What I meant to say is I'm not going to be here because, I'm going on vacation."

Parker I swear...

You lightly hit his shoulder and let out a breath of relief. "Don't scare me like that! I did not need that!"

"S-sorry! B-but yeah... I'm going on vacation.. can you handle Queens without me?"

"I already do. Besides, there's always the other Avengers who can."

"Y-yeah... the Avengers... a-anyways Saviour, I-I'm gonna go now. I'll s-see you soon?"

"See ya Spidey and don't go crashing into any walls!"

"When did I- oh."

"Ratted yourself out. Bye Spideyyyyy!" You call out and wave as you watch him swing away and make tracks home yourself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I dunno how I did it, but I snuck back in ARIS."

"Well, your mother is asleep-"

"Shhh lemme have this!"

"... Congratulations Y/N."

"Thank you ARIS-"

"Even though I do not condone this behaviour."

Rolling your eyes, you shrug your body and switch your bracelet and your suit slowly peels away from your body, the nano- tech shrinking so it all fits inside the bracelet. You stretch your body but wince from your stomach. Cautiously, you lift your shirt and see the enormous bruise left on you from the robber and his knee.

Bye, bye crop tops...

Plopping yourself on your bed, you lie down and sigh in exhaustion. Closing your eyes slowly, you feel yourself falling to asleep. Until the chime of your best friend's ringtone plays from your phone which causes you to lurch up and open your phone to look at the text.

from: F/N ✌️

yeah.... i'm really sorry that I can't go to Europe...

from: you  

i get it, it's totally fine! your family needs you.

don't feel bad trust me it's all g.

from: F/N ✌️

...if you say so dude. just, have a great time,

take photos and promise to text me when you can?

from: you

you know I will 😤

from: F/N ✌️

kk. well, I better go. it's late and unlike you, people have school tomorrow.

from: you

haha, very funny... well, goodnight nub > : (

from: F/N ✌️

see ya geek : P

Reaching over you place your phone back on the charger and look at the ceiling and sigh.

New York has been chaotic since the Snap- Blip. The Blip. And the amount of crimes has only doubled since before then and everything with school and my friends, Ned, MJ, F/N and Peter and oh god...

Hopefully Europe gives me a break.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

TAG LIST !! < 3

@eridanuswave

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

[ryan-spinel]

CHAPTER THREE

“Heavenly Bliss”

“What are you doing out so late Spinel.” Connie challenged

“I wouldn't call 5:45 in the afternoon last Connie. Seems like you've been somewhere, caring paper bags.” I smirked

“Well, Valentine, going grocery shopping after school is better than hanging with drug dealers.” Connie provoked

“Well I guess someone was doing more than shopping, I was helping a friend get a date.” I sassed

“Sure you were.” The whore snickered

I have to say, I alway hated passive aggressive bitches. I mean, if your going to be angry show it, instead of being a dick about it.

“Listen to me Spinel, I don't know what kind of stuff you're involved with the Black Hawks. But my father is the chief inspector of the local police agency, and I will have to report any unusual activity your involved in.” Connie warned

“And that's suppose to mean something, my mothers a lawyer.” I bragged

“Sigh, look Spinel. I don't want any trouble. I don't know why you hit me yesterday, but all I ask for. Is that you stay away from Steven, or you'll regret it. He doesn't need someone like you in his life.” Connie threaten

It's cute that she thinks she can scare me. It's you who will be sorry.

“Connie. You sound like Steven belongs to you, you do realize he has a life outside of you.” I smirked

Connie was about to say something, but then she gave be a defeated look. Looks like I won this battle, but haven't won the war just yet.

“Just, please don't go near him. You're not his friend.” Connie added, walking towards me.

Of course I'm not his friend, I'm his girlfriend, his babey, his sweetheart.

At the moment she walks by me, I pulled out my Italian stiletto and used it to tear the paper bag open. Causing the groceries to drop to the ground.

“Gasp, oopsie daisy.” I gibed, walking by Connie irritably picking up her groceries.

It brings me joy to see someone like her struggling. Now time to go home before my folks worry about me.

It's now sundown, I just arrived to my place. I hope my moms aren't worried.

I walked up to the entrance and was going to open the door, however I stopped. I was hearing muffled screaming inside the house, so I ease dropped to find out what they're talking about.

“This has gone on long enough mother, we can't keep denying the problem with Spinel!” Mother argued

“You watch you're tone with me young lady, Spinel is fine. How is her liking someone so awful.” Grandmother Whitney retaliated

“Liking someone, you mean this boy Steven. I got a call from the school that she punched a girl in the face.” Mother retorted

“How is that a problem, Spinel probably had a good reason to do so.” Grandmother Whitney denied

“She hit that girl, over a piece of cake. I was told by Dr.Maheswaran, that her daughter asked for a piece of cake Steven had, and then all of a sudden Spinel hits her trying to slap the cake out of her hand. Accidentally hitting her in the face, causing her to bite her lip.” Mother shot

There was a silent pause, until I heard Momma speaking.

“Whitney, this isn't normal behavior for a girl like Spinel. Ever since kindergarten she's been very violent towards kids her age. We can't keep hiding and ignoring on what she did to Spin-.”

SLAP

“Never, and I repeat never mentioned that women again.” Grandmother Whitney snapped

“Mother what is wrong with you, don't hit Bella again.” Mother raged

“Or what, you won't defend me in court. I had to teach her a lesson for disobeying me.” Grandmother Whitney threaten

“Bella's right Mother, somethings wrong with Spinel. Sigh, God we should have never given her that knife.” Mother muttered

“The reason why I gave that knife is because that's what she wants. She doesn't want makeup and all that girly crap you get her. I know my Granddaughter.” Grandmother Whitney stated

“You can know Spinel inside and out all you want Whitney , but you gave her a weapon. In the past we got calls that Spinel threaten students in elementary, once I got called into a meeting with the principal because Spinel got suspended for bitting a kid, in middle school. Now she's attacking girls out of jealousy. Sigh, Whitney. Spinel is sick. This can't continue, because if it does Spinel will get herself hurt or go to prison. So if you really care for her, you need to stop defending this toxic side of Spinel. She needs help-.” Momma screeched before being interrupted

Ding, dong

“Hey guys I'm back from the library.” I announced

“Come in starlight.” Grandmother Whitney answered

I opened the door and walked to the dining room. I saw my three care-givers sitting at the dinning table drinking tea. Although I noticed Momma had tears in her eyes, and having a red handprint on the left side of her face.

“How was school today Spinel.” Mother coaxed

“It was a wonderful day Mother, I had lots of fun with Perri today.” I clarified

“That's good sweet-pea, did you have dinner at the Fitzgerald home.” Momma faltered

“Yes Momma, don't worry about wittle old me.” I reassured

Although I wouldn't call a tray of onigiri dinner, even though I'm still a little hungry. But I can wait until tomorrow, I don't want momma to stress about me.

“Okay darling, please get ready for bed.” Grandmother Whitney asserted

“I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

Once I finished getting into my cute bun-bun themed pajamas, I walked to my futon going to bed. Saturday is going to be a big day for me, because that's the day Steven and I will be all alone. No Connie to interfere with us. I'll just have to ask him tomorrow at school.

Ring ring

Another day of school went by so fast, and Friday is the perfect day to ask out Steven. Because that bitch Connie has tennis practice on Fridays, that means Steven will be all alone without any interruptions.

In the distance I see the gullible hunk walking off school grounds. I have to catch up to him before it's to late. I raced like hell to catch up to him, trying to catch his attention.

“Steven!” I exulted

“Wha.”

Finally, I got his attention.

“Hey Steven, huff puff huff puff.” I listlessly

“Oh, Spinel. I didn't expect to see you. Are you okay, from Wednesday.” Steven Gasped

“Ya everything is just swell.” I said trying to ease his nerves

“Anyway, sorry to bother you. But would you like to hang out tomorrow. Like get a milkshake, do karaoke or something.” I hesitated

Please say yes, please say yes.

“Sure, why not.” Steven responded

Yes, yes, oh god yes. I feel my heart racing and I'm sweating like crazy. I honestly had my doubts.

I wanted to reply to his answer, but I was so happy I lost my sense of reality. I couldn't stop smiling and my cheeks were like two hot tomatoes. My heart has never been this happy before, it's going to explode.

“Ah, Spinel. Are you okay.” Steven guessed

Just him looking at me made me paralyzed with joy.

“Oh, oh Stevi your so cute. I just want to cuddle you and feed you cookies.” I mumbled

“Ahhhhhhhhhh, okay. Well, meet me at my place tomorrow at noon. Bye.”

And just like that, my man is gone. Tomorrow I need to look my best, also I need to ask a favor from my geeky bud.

“Congratulations on your date Spinel.” Perri cheered

“It hasn't started yet, but thanks. How was your date with Lexi.” I grinned

“Well, I wouldn't call it a date. At least the clan allows me to hang with her.” Perri hummed

“Does Brooklyn know.” I doubted

“Ah, not yet. She still doesn't want me around the Black Hawks. But I still want to see Lexi, I just want her out of the gang.” Perri worried

“Hey, don't worry. Things will turn out okay, Lex is a smart gal and she'll get out eventually.” I encouraged

“You're a great friend Spinel, how can I repay you for what you did.” Perri offered

“Well, I hate to ask but. Can you keep Connie away from Steven all day.” I begged

Please say yes, please say yes

“Your in luck friend, I'm working on a science assignment with Connie. I'll tell her to come to my house to work on the project.” Perri reassured

“Ah, thank God. I owe you big time.” I burst

“No need, that's what friends do.” Perri acknowledged

It's 30 minutes until noon. I have to make up an excuse to go out.

“Hey Momma.” I shouted from my room

“Yes dear.” Momma groggily

“I'm going to the karaoke club with some friends. I'll be back before sunset.” I lied

“Yawn, okay sweetie. Please be safe.” Momma sleepily

I didn't expect it to be that easy, now time to see senpai.

It's a good thing Steven lives less than five minutes away, I would hate to take the bus. But if I had to I would.

I finally arrived at Stevens house, or tiny home to be exact.

His house wasn't as fancy as mine, although it's a cute little home. But what do you expect when your dad is a Uber driver, and rarely gets the dough at one of his garage concerts.

Speak of the devil, I see Greg Universe. On a lawn chair outside his house, playing his guitar and drinking beer. Although I have to admit, even though Greg looks like a loser he's still a good father. Obviously Steven got that suave charm from him.

“Hello Mr.Universe.” I burst

“Oh, you must be Conn- Ah I mean Spinel. Stevens happy that you asked him to hang out. By the way, call me Greg.” Greg sputtered, sounding like he's one more bottle to being wasted.

“Is Steven almost ready.” I inquired

“Don't worry, he'll be out shorty.” Greg reassured, but still looks like he has more to say.

“You know. I'm actually glad that you asked Steven to hang.” Greg confessed

“Really.” I doubted

“Ya I am. Steven doesn't really hang out with other kids outside of school. Even since his mom passed away, he's been very antisocial. Sure he may be out going at school. But when he isn't at school, he just sits in his room. Or sometimes hangs out with his friend Connie.”

I hate the thought of that bitch being mentioned today.

“Steven may hang with a lot of kids, but they're not his friends. I hate to talk behind someone's back, but I feel like Connie and Steven spend to much time together. I'm not saying that they can't hang out, but Steven needs a variety of friends. Because if they don't stay friends Steven will have trouble finding new ones. Ha, I'm sorry I burden you with all of that. It's just my way of saying thanks, I hope Steven has lots of fun.” Greg rattled on

Wow, you think you know a guy. I really misjudged Greg, he must want Steven to have as many friends has he wants. I'm just glad that we're one the same page that Connie is bad for him. That's what happens when two loners become friends, they're obsessed with spending so much time with each other.

“I'm sorry about your wife Greg, she must be very lucky to have a kid like Steven.” I comforted

“Thank you Spinel, it really means a lot to me.”

“Hey dad, I'm going now-oh hey Spinel. It's good to see you.” Steven beamed

“Hey Schtu-ball, here's so cash to have fun with your lady friend.” Greg happily offered

“Dad, it's not like that.” Steven spluttered

“Loosen up Lil-man. I'm just messing with you.” Greg smiled

Then all of a sudden, Greg was whispering in his ear. I couldn't hear want they are talking about. But what caught me off guard was that Greg secretly slipped a condom in Stevens jacket.

Oh Lordy, Steven and I haven't even got to the batters box's yet. Already Greg gives him a condom on the first date, I guess it's better to be safe then sorry. Now Greg has my full respect now, thinking that Steven and I would get dirty. He really wants Steven to have more friends.

Although poor Steven, he must be so embarrassed that Greg is giving him condoms and advice on girls.

“Okay Dad, I heard enough. Come on Spinel let's go” Steven spluttered

“Okay okay, see you crazy kids later.” Greg joked

“Jesus Christ.” Steven mumbled

After Steven got the talk, we made our way onto the bus.

“So Spinel, What would you like to do.” Steven asked

“Well, lets go to that 50s style dinner. I heard they have to best burgers and milkshakes there.” I suggested

“You mean Krazy Kats, (chuckled) it's been so long since I've been there. After that lets go to the karaoke club.” Steven cheered

“Steven Universe, I didn't know you can sing.” I teased

“Well. I can't, the only song I can sing is twinkle twinkle little star.” Steven joked

“Well it doesn't hurt to try.”

“No, it doesn't.” Steven hoped

After a long drive, we finally arrived at Blossom valley Mall.

As the gentleman Steven is, he helped me off the bus. Such a chivalrous lad.

“We're here, so do you want to do first.” Steven advised

“Lets go to the karaoke club first.” I responded

“Cool, lets go.”

“Wait Steven.” I shouted

“Yes Spinel.” Steven smiled

“I, I need you to hold something for me.” I avowed

“Sure, I'll be happy to help.”

I took out my right hand and reached it out to Steven, palm up.

“My hand.” I cackled shyly

Steven looked at me for a little bit, trying to get a grip of the situation. Until he started to smile.

“(Giggling), your adorable Spinel. Of course I'll hold your hand.” Steven beamed while grapping onto my hand.

He. He called me adorable. Wow, he called me adorable, on our first date. Oh god, I feel like I'm having a heart attack because my heart can't stop beating. He's now holding my hand, his soft skin rubbing onto me. How a I going to make it the whole day without fainting.

We happily dashed to the karaoke club. Inside was just like the interior of the Double Deuce in the movie Road House. It was also very spectral, with smoke, flashing colored lights and giant speakers. It was like a rave in here. Steven and I quickly found a place to sit, now looking at which songs we're going to sing.

“Wow, there's a lot to choose from. What are you going to sing.” Steven asked

“(Giggling), that's a secret. You'll find out soon.” I teased

“Always full of secrets I see.”

Well you got one thing right.

“Okay, you can go first. I'll still need some time to choose.” Steven convinced

“Alright kiddo, I'll go first.” I joked

I walked up to the counter and asked for my song. They told me I was on in five minutes. I walked back to Steven to tell him.

“Hey Stevi, I'm on in five minutes.”

“Cool, I picked mr blue sky electric light orchestra.” Steven mentioned

“Interesting choice bud.”

“Alright everybody give him around of applause. (Laughing) okay folks it's time of our next performer, please welcome to the stage for Spinel.”

(Applause)

I skipped up to the stage, getting ready to sing. Although some people would need to read the lyrics on the screen, but I know this song off by heart.

The song began

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me 🎶

I still feel your touch in my dreams 🎶

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why 🎶

Without you it's hard to survive 🎶

Here comes the chorus

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

'

(Freestyle dancing)

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky 🎶

They wipe away tears that I cry 🎶

The good and the bad times we've been through them all 🎶

You make me rise when I fall 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

(More freestyle dancing)

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

(Applause)

“Spinel that was amazing, your singing voice is beautiful.” Steven praised

“Your so sweet Stevi, it's now your turn to shine.” I encouraged

Now as expected, Steven sucked. But we had a good laugh about it. So far this was the best day of my life. This was true heavenly bliss.

Steven and I weren't really hungry, so we got takeout milkshakes from Krazy Kats. We then found a nice place to sit and catch. On a small green hill under a cherry three.

“How's your mint-chip, butterfingers, Reese's PB cups, Hershey's chocolate syrup with no cherry.”

“It's just delicious, how's your plain boring strawberry milkshake.” I joked

“Hey, it's just as good as yours.”

“(Giggling) I'm just messing with you, you look so cute when flustered.” I teased

“Okay now your just being silly.” Steven gushed

“Puff, (laughing).” Steven and I giggled

“Ha ha hah, Spinel this day was amazing. I'm having so much fun with you.” Steven cackled

This is an amazing day, I just want to relive this moment for the rest of my life. I never expected Steven to have fun with someone like me.

Wait, why's Steven frowning. Did I do something wrong. Fuck, I thought I did everything right.

“Spinel, I should have never given that cake you gave me to Connie. I thought I was doing something nice, but I didn't reconsider on how you'll feel. Although it wasn't right that you hit Connie. But, it was my fault that I blown out of proportion. I'm sorry Spinel.” Steven apologized, on the verge of tears.

“I can just act so stupid sometimes. I don't mean to do anything to hurt anyone, but I do it without knowing. I don't know why I'm like this. Ever since my mom was shanked in an ally by Black Hawk thugs, I just find was to mess up. Dads always stressed about paying the bills and taking care of me. He doesn't need that kind of stress I'm giving him. I'm just a burden. I'm a burden to my friends, my teachers and even my closest friend Connie. I just don't want to keep annoying people all the time, telling me to go away and play kid games. And them saying “your bitch mom got what she deserved”, one time I got a note I found in my locker, saying that it would be better for everyone if I just kill myself. (Sobbing). I feel like the whole world is against me, that everyone has some reason to attack me. Because I keep fucking up all the time. I'm just one. big. fuck up.(sobbing).” Steven bawled

Oh god, I had no idea Steven was in this much pain. It seems like on the outside that he's this layback happy guy. But no one notices that he's breaking and dying inside. Like me.

There was only one thing I can do, I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a tight hug.

“I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, is this why you wanted to hang with me.”

“No!” Steven screamed

“No, no. I really wanted to spend time with you. I felt guilty for hurting you. But I still enjoyed today. (Sobbing).”

“It's okay daring, I'm not going anywhere. You're never a burden Steven Universe. I know things are stressful for you lately. But please don't consider it. I'll miss you, your dad will miss you, your friends and even your pets. You're important to a lot of us.”

“Lets just say this, you off yourself last year. That means you missed all those precious memories to this day. Your birthday, Christmas and even Halloween. All those events are gone, disappeared.”

“Remember last year. When I started the first year of high school. On Monday during lunchtime, I was waiting in-line to by the canteens fresh baked cookies. I was a limited time offer, only on Mondays. When I walked to the counter and asked for one of their cookies. They said “Sorry kid, we're sold out.” So I started to get upset. I wanted those cookies for so long and now there gone. But out of no where, you saw me. Out of the kindness of your heart you game me half of your homemade chocolate-chip cookie. Even though it wasn't as good as the canteens ones. It was still special that someone as kind as you, would share with me.”

“Don't you see goofball. Your actions have an impact on people's lives, a good impact. If you disappeared, that special moment would never happened. I know we don't know each other well, but I really care about you. Because you cared about me, and I would love to hang out more with you. Those last couple of hours were the best moments in my life so far.”

“(Sniffling) you really think so.”

“I know so Steven, you have a big heart and you care and love everyone. But you need to start loving yourself.”

Steven then wrapped his arms around my petite waist.

“Thank you Spinel, thank you so much.”

“I'll never leave you Steven. Never ever.”

To be continued

[lady-indiana]

Practice Challenge {pt. 2}

Read PART 1

Part 2

An hour after I had heard the news, I was driving through the streets of downtown Lauderdale.

My hands were clutched tightly to the wheel as I turned into the library on the west side of town. This library, once surrounded by overgrown grass and falling apart at the edges, was now the nicest building on this side of town. 

It had a parking lot, even though most of the people and children who used it didn’t own cars. It was made of bricks, some discolored from the repairs done in the past year. 

On the pathway leading up, there were cute little signs with frogs and bunnies that said sayings like “reading is FUN!” and “Reading takes you on adventures!”

I parked the car, taking the keys out of the ignition and walked up the path to the door. In the entrance of the library, there was a little foyer with more posters and signs with positive sayings and quotes. 

To the left, there was a pinboard displaying different activities and demonstrations they were holding. I walked down the hallway, heading into the main room, and looked around. I spun slowly, gazing up at the Illéa approved books that lined the shelves.

In the corner of the room, there was a line of new computers.

I thought back to my childhood when this little building was a refuge for all of the other homeless kids I ran around with. We were all in the lower castes, and this library was open to the public, specifically the lower castes. Now, there were almost triple the books they had back then. There also used to be only one old computer.

And when I finally took control of it over some kid was playing an online game that took forever, it was where I edited my first short film at the age of thirteen. The short film that changed my life.

I was spooked by a voice, “Oh! Indie!”

Meredith, the 70-year-old something woman who had been running the library as a volunteer for as long as I knew came out from her office. She was a sweet woman, who cared a lot about education and creativity and making the world a better place. I really liked Meredith.

“Hi Meredith,” I said, smiling in her direction.

“I can’t believe it! I really can’t believe it, Indie! You’re one of the Selected!”

I giggled, watching her get all excited.

“I know, I really can’t believe it either.”

I looked down, sudden feeling… embarrassed, overwhelmed, unworthy?

“Oh, sweetie, you will be great. The prince is going to love you! I just know it!”

I chuckled softly at her optimism. 

“Just to think,” Meredith continued. “Almost ten years ago you were hanging out here, trying to run complex editing software on that old dinosaur of a computer, and now you are about to head off to the palace!”

I looked around at the place, smiling contently. “It is amazing, isn’t it?”

“You deserve it, sweetie.”

“Thanks,” I responded, though I wasn’t sure if I believed her. “I just wanted to come by, and ask if you and the library will be alright while I’m on gone. If there’s anything you need before I go, let me know, and I’ll make sure it gets done. I’m not sure how much communication I’ll have access to while I’m there.”

“Oh, honey, you’ve already done enough. Look at this place! Look at everything you’ve already done to make it better!” she said, gesturing around at the room.

“I just want to make sure,” I said, smiling kindly.

“Well, the only thing I can think of is that we’ll have to postpone the camera seminar that you were supposed to teach. That’s no problem though! I’d teach it myself, but you know I don’t know how to work technology to save my life.”

“Maybe I can see if I can get one of my friends from Angeles to fly in and teach it. I know a lot of the kids were looking forward to it.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m sure you are going to be busy in the next few days.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

“Really, sweetie, I want you to focus on yourself. This is a big opportunity. If anyone could be our future princess, I’d want it to be you.”

I sighed, grabbing Meredith’s hands in thanks.

“Well, then,” I said. “If you do need anything… repairs, books, lunch for the kids... put in on my tab.”

Meredith smiled, pulling me in for a hug that I reciprocated. “We will be fine. Have a great time, kiddo.”

I smiled, stepping back and looking around the room again. Finally, I waved goodbye and headed back out to my car, so I could go home and get ready for my life to change. Again.

---

I arrived to the airport early. It was a habit, really. Engrained in me from day one on my film internship when I was younger: Being early is being on time. And being on time shows that you care.

The plane was much like one I had flown in several times. Private planes were always rented out by the studios when we had to travel cross country for a shoot, so it was nothing new.

The leather seats, however, were surprisingly soft, and I placed my carry on bag in one of the overhead bins.

I knew there were supposed to be three other girls joining me for the flight. They were all from different provinces and were also selected. I had done minimal research on each of the girls, not because I didn’t want to know, but because I didn’t want to psych myself out. 

When I researched something, I researched it intensely. I wrote notes all over, I made webs, I scribbled one-liners-- another habit I had developed from filmmaking. So, instead, I opted for just looking at their names and faces and provinces. Though, there were too many to remember for now.

My leg shook as I waited for the others to arrive. Suddenly, I was regretting my no-research strategy. I was going in blind, and I had no idea if I would even get along with any of these girls. What if they thought I was pretentious because I am two? What if they hate my movies?

Not a real concern, but I had seen some nasty haters before.

Just then, a girl walked onto the plane. Her golden hair made her shine in the sunlight, and she smiled brightly.

“Hi! I’m Evalin!” she said, walking further onto the plane.

I smiled back, happy that so far, Evalin seemed very kind. “Hi Evalin! I’m Indie.”

She sat down in the chair across the aisle from me, and turned so she was facing me. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” she said. “You’re from Clermont, right?”

Clearly, Evalin was more researched than I was. I only had to remember three other girls and their provinces for this plane ride and was already drawing a blank. I suddenly felt dumb.

“Yes! I am... and you're from... remind me again?” I responded, smiling sheepishly.

Evalin, cool as ever while smoothing out her skirt said, “Carolina. You’re a movie director, right?”

So, she knew me knew me.

I tried to give a kind smile, hoping to come off as humble but I worried about failing. “I am. What is your profession?”

“I’m still in college, but I’m studying biology.”

College. I thought that was pretty cool. It had always seemed like an interesting path, but by the time I graduated high school, I was already in the film industry and no one thought I needed to pursue a degree. I guess they were right because a year later, I was nominated for an Illéan Oscar Award.

“Oh wow,” I said. “That's really cool. I could never do science.”

It was true, science was a nightmare in school. That, and math. 

“Thanks! It’s second nature for me, really. I grew up around it,” she said, smiling sheepishly. “I think it’s really cool what you do, though! I’ve never had that kind of artistic vision!”

Evalin, though going into a field much different than mine, was clearly just as passionate as I was. She was sweet, and I was really liking her so far. I hoped that she liked me too.

“Aw, thank you. It's the only thing I could ever do, and I'm glad. I truly love it. The profession saved me in a way.”

Another truth. Without film, I would be nothing. 

“That’s amazing!! That kind of passion is very admirable!”

I grinned, feeling great and confident now that I had one good interaction under the belt. Besides, this type of conversation I was used to. The film industry was all about networking after all. And passion pays off. It’s easy to talk about one’s passions and Evalin and I were both clearly passionate.

Suddenly, I glanced over at the digital clock on the wall of the plane. The schedule had said the plane would be leaving in a few minutes. We were still missing two girls.

“We are still waiting on two more right?” I asked. “The plane is supposed to leave soon.”

Evalin looked over her shoulder out of her window. “Looks like one is coming now!”

Just as she said that, a girl came rushing into the plane. She was distracted, glancing back over her shoulder ever few moments with a stare of curiosity. 

“Sorry, sorry, my parents kept saying goodbye,” she explained, but then, she turned, smiling. “Idalia Moretti. What about you guys?”

She walked over to an empty seat and plopped down. I couldn’t help but stare at her amused. She was a chaotic force but still seemed like she was excited and nervous. She reminded me of the interns on a film set.

Evalin responded first. “Evalin Berg. It’s nice to meet you!”

I responded right after. “Hi! I'm Indie!”

Just then, the last girl entered. Her name, I actually remembered. Shala Lie. She had headphones in and stared at the ground, ignoring all of us. She sat far away, and stared at the window. We all watched for a second, before turning back to one another.

“Are you guys excited?” I asked, grinning.

“Very! A little nervous too, though. What about you?” Evalin said.

Idalia then added, “It should be an interesting day. Tomorrow is when I’ll be nervous. Or... I guess whenever we meet the prince.”

I nodded, agreeing with both of them.

“I'm definitely a little bit of both excited and nervous. But, you're right. Tomorrow is when things get really real.”

“True. Today is just makeovers and getting settled in, right?” Evalin commented, wincing slightly as if she was embarrassed she didn’t know. “Sorry, this whole thing has been a bit of a whirlwind. It’s kind of hard to keep track of all the details.”

She didn’t need to feel bad. The only reason I knew is because I had studied the schedule like a call sheet.

“Yeah, I think so,” I supplied. “I'm sure there will be people telling us what to do, and where to go. I wouldn't worry too much.”

In a way, I realized that this Selection wouldn’t be all that different from a film set. There would almost always be a plan, a place for us to go, expectations to be met, and a hierarchy to listen to.

“It’s kind of weird, being thrown into the spotlight like this!” Evalin pointed out. “Do any of you know any of the other girls? I’ve only gotten tidbits of information that my sister has dug up.”

I did know one of the girls. Emily Rose White. She had acted in a couple of my movies. She was really sweet, and I wondered when I would see her when we got to Angeles.

“Yeah, I just know the details because I have a friend obsessed with this stuff. She sent me a PowerPoint of ‘the most important things to know’ on everything and everyone,” Idalia said.

“I know one of the girls, Emily. She's acted in a few of my movies. And I know some of the other actors just from the industry talk and stuff,” I admitted. “A Powerpoint? That's iconic.”

It was. I found it highly amusing, and I couldn’t help but smirk at the idea.

“Oh wow!” Evalin responded, laughing nervously. “Dare I ask what it said about us?”

“Oh, Evalin... never read the reviews,” I joked, chuckling softly.

Though, I’m not sure Evalin understood I was joking because her face flushed, and she laughed nervously as she said, “Ah sorry! I’m used to my work being peer-reviewed.”

Idalia laughed slightly at the interaction before stepping in and looking at me. “She is iconic like that. She liked your last by the way. It was in her PowerPoint.”

“Oh, really? That's sweet!” I responded. Though, it was probably hypocritical considering the joke I just told.

It was just nice to know that people didn’t hate my movies.

“I’m pretty sure your slide just said, ‘bio smart but I have no idea what any of her work says,’” Idalia continued, looking at Evalin.

Evalin blushed even more. “Ah, I haven’t really done anything of note. I held a research position under my genetics professor last semester, but it was mostly just me using a microscope.”

That sounded so cool, I thought. So important. Evalin must be really smart.

“That sounds way more intelligent than anything I've done so... kudos to you,” I applauded her.

She was so shy about her work. I wanted her to know she should be proud of it.

“What movies have you directed?” she asked, suddenly turning the conversation around to me.

I blanked for a moment, feeling like a fool, who forgot her own movies.

My brain came back, and I was left listing off a few of my works. “Uh... a few. Some of them you might know are Lady Bird and Little Women. I've also done The Greatest Showman. But, I also direct episodes of TV series sometimes.”

Evalin’s face lit up. “Oh, I loved Little Women! That and Pride and Prejudice are the two movies my sister insists we watch whenever we have a family movie night!”

My heart warmed. To think, my movie, was being played next to the Pride and Prejudice.

I grinned, responding, “Pride and Prejudice is amazing. I'm glad my movie sits along beside it at your family movie nights.”

Idalia returned to the conversation with, “Funny. My house is usually filled with suggestions of Megamind on family night.”

I also gasped out loud, laughing, but I contained it with an amused smiling, responding sarcastically. “Hey, I mean, Megamind... important stuff.”

Evalin asked, “Do you have a lot of siblings, too?”

I replied easily, “No, actually. I don't have any siblings. You?”

I looked to both Evalin and Idalia.

With an amused smile, Idalia said, “I only have a younger brother but Megamind is usually not his idea.” 

I laughed, responding the again sarcastically, “Like I said, Megamind... important stuff.”

“I probably tease him more than he teases me,” Idalia said.

I chuckled again along with Evalin, who said, “I have 3 brothers and a sister. Megamind is a classic.”

Megamind… Megamind was something for sure. I hadn’t seen it in forever, and it was probably on once. 

Instead, I thought more about her four siblings. I couldn’t imagine having even one sibling, let alone four.

“A big family! That must be nice,” I said.

“It is, for the most part, but we can get a little antsy,” Evalin explained. “There’s plenty of teasing and pranks to go around! Having time to yourself must be nice, though!”

I smiled again. 

“Can be. But, at least I get to live vicariously through my characters,” I added whimsically. “Oh, hey, Idalia, we never asked what your profession was. You seem like a prankster, it has to be something interesting.”

She grinned, leaning back in her seat. “Interesting assumption. I fence sabre. Or saber if you want.”

Fencing? Also very cool.

Evalin must’ve also thought it was cool because her eyes lit up and she and Idalia went back and forth for a little. 

“Oh wow, that’s awesome! I thought your name sounded kind of familiar! You fenced in the Olympics, right? My youngest brother had the games on 24/7 when they were being broadcasted!” Evalin said.

At the mention of the Olympics, Idalia brightened. “I did. I’m going again next year. Or at least that’s the plan.”

“Ah, congratulations!” Evalin exclaimed, but then bit her lip nervously. “Are you nervous about the possibility of this selection taking over a year? I know the officials said it shouldn’t, since it should display the Prince’s decisiveness, but I have to wonder how into the Selection he’s going to be, what with his engagement to Evie Waldia being cut off so recently.”

Idalia takes a moment to take that in a looks up at the ceiling, “Time will tell. But I doubt they will say I can’t go. Illéa, like everyone else, sends people that can win. If I‘m still one of the candidates when the time comes, it would be foolish of them to deny my participation.”

So, she was confident then. I didn’t mind that. In fact, I sort of admired it. But, too much confidence can get you into bad places, from what I had seen in the film industry at least. I silently hoped she would be careful.

“That’s true,” Evalin said with a sigh. “It must be so cool, being able to compete for your country like that!”

Finally, I chipped into the conversation. “That really is cool, Idalia. I'm sure you'll get to go. It's probably even better press for Illéa if they send a Selected.”

Evalin nodded, agreeing with me. “That’s a good point! You’d get to be serving the nation in two ways at once!”

Idalia chucked. “I guess that could be said. So we got a film director, bio major, fencer and…,” she trailed off, looking over at Shala. “An unknown.”

Shala was still looking out the window.

I leaned in closer to Evalin and Idalia while looking over at Shala with a slide glance. “Should...should we try to talk to her...or?”

“Shala?” Evalin tried to call out to her. When Shala didn’t respond, Evalin frowned and turned back around. “Maybe she’s just very nervous.”

“Yeah, probably...”

More time passed, and we continued to talking to each other for the whole trip.

I shrugged. “Well, anyway, you girls seem really nice. It's definitely made me feel a lot better about this whole process.”

I truly was happy that this entire conversation had gone well so far. I had no idea if the girls would be at each other’s throats, but these two, Evalin and Idalia, seemed really sweet.

“Likewise,” Evalin responded, smiling. “It’s good to know that we’re not in this alone.”

I nodded and Idalia said, “I’m sure Prince Arin must be having a similar feeling.”

I nodded again, and then grinned, leaning forward.

“Speaking of Prince Arin... thoughts?”

Evalin blushed, “Well, he is quite handsome, don’t you think?”

I smiled, sitting back in my seat. 

“He is quite handsome,” I agreed. “I'm excited to get to know him. Or, at least I hope I get a chance to know him.”

Evalin nodded, “Me too. I’d love to be able to talk to him and get to know him. I’m sure he has lots of interesting stories to tell.”

“Yeah probably. It's just crazy that we are going to be living in the palace of all places,” I said excitedly. “Hanging out with the Prince of all people. Feels like a fever dream.”

Honestly, I felt like I was living in a fairytale. But, then again, I had felt like that for a long time.

“Truly! I never imagined that this is where life would actually take me!” Evalin said, looking out the window. “It looks like we’re about to land!”

I nodded, looking out my own window. We were just barely starting to descend. The city of Angeles glimmered below, a city I was familiar with. A city I lived in most of the time. I had missed it, and it definitely would be weird to not head back to my house, but instead, to the palace.

“Yep. We should keep in touch down there. I think it'll be nice to have some friendly faces around,” I added, trying to come off as genuine.

Because I was, I just wanted to make sure they knew I was.

“Certainly!” both Evalin and Idalia agreed.

We continued to talk as the plane descended, speaking mostly about room arrangements. I was sad to find out that Idalia and Evalin were in the same hall, and I was in another, but I tried to stay positive. That would just mean a better chance of getting to know more people.

“I’ve heard there’s a woman’s room. And also the etiquette lessons,” Idalia said, as we talked about how we would see each other around.

“True! I’m kind of excited for the etiquette lessons. It’ll be nice to learn something different,” Evalin explained.

“Oh it’ll be something for sure,” Idalia responded, clearly amused. “How to be photographed, how to curtsy! Maybe which spoon is for the salad as well.”

I laughed a little, but warned, “Trust me, that’s not the hard stuff. It’s the learning to talk to the press that’s hard.”

That, I definitely knew. After all, I had been given etiquette lessons before-- right after my short film had taken off and I got sponsored to go to a school for threes. And then, my film career had taken off, and I had to learn how to do interviews and walk red carpets and how to be a proper two.

It was exhausting, but I was thankful for it.

“I wonder if they’ll make us learn how to walk with books balanced on our heads,” Evalin added.

I laughed, picturing it in my head. Evalin and Idalia were pretty funny.

“That would be funny to see,” I said.

Not long after that, the plane landed. We were escorted off, and into a limousine. We didn’t talk much during the ride, each of excited and nervous about what lay ahead of us.

As for me, I was happy to be back in Angeles and ready to try my chance at change and love.

[mentions: @evalinkatrineberg​ , @idaliamoretti​ , @emily-rose-white​ ]

[captainmeowvelwrites]

You Times Two (Ch.4)

Pairing: Marinette/Ladybug | Adrien/Chat Noir Words: 4208 Summary: Ladybug knew this was necessary. She was the Guardian. He had the Cat Miraculous. But when his suit evaporated in a glow of pale green, she sure hadn’t expected him to have something far more precious: her heart. Cross-posted: AO3 and FFN

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | ...

Recap: Previously, on You Times Two… To the dismay of everyone here, Mari’s Multimouse shenanigans mostly fooled our precious bean. But praise be, at least he and Kagami aren’t official. Not to him. Not yet. After a cheeky eavesdrop on our two favourite kitties, Clumsy Girl fears Sunshine Boy’s onto her. And of course, of all the times Papagreste could let his son have a social life, he does so in the midst of our girl’s existential crisis. Will Hotstuff stay single? And will Marimoo do something silly with her newfound suspicions? Read forth to find out!

---

Chapter Four

Marinette collapsed into her hot pink office chair, heaving a sigh. "What a day, Tikki." Using her feet, she launched herself toward her desk, the wheels of her chair whirring on the wooden floor. "Maybe I really wasn't exaggerating when I called this the apocalypse." She slammed her head against the desk, a stray pencil wobbling near her ear.

"Don't be silly, Marinette," said Tikki, hovering over her shoulder. "You've been through trickier situations than this before."

Marinette held up a finger. "I called him Chadrien," she garbled, her cheek squished against the desk. "As Marinette and Ladybug."

"Well," Tikki drawled, "things could always be worse."

Marinette groaned, peeling her cheek from the white wood. "But you heard him, Tikki. He suspects I'm Ladybug." She buried her face in her hands, peeking through her fingers to pout at her kwami. "I can't risk him knowing who I am before I even know if he should!"

Tikki tilted her head. "So, what are you going to do?"

Marinette's hands dropped from her face to reveal hardened eyes, now shining with purpose. "I'm going to keep our interactions to a minimum," she said, slicing a decisive hand through the air.

Tikki blinked at her owner like she'd sprouted antennae. "How do you plan to do that? You see him every day at school. He sits in front of you in class. He'll be at Alya's tomorrow. And let's not forget, he's Chat Noir!"

Marinette giggled. "I don't plan to avoid him as Chat Noir, silly. I know that's impossible." Her eyes wandered toward the ceiling as she placed a pensive finger to her lips. "But avoiding Adrien… surely I can manage that for a while?"

A smirk crept across Tikki's lips. "How long is a while?"

"Tikki!" Marinette cried, snorting back laughter as she tickled her kwami's belly. "Not for two seconds, if that's what you're thinking." Laughter continued to line her words. "Just until this whole Marinette might be Ladybug thing blows over, however long that is." She pushed off the desk and slumped into her chair, lips pursed. "Maybe I need to throw him a bone? Or should I say catnip?"

Expecting her kwami to giggle, she was surprised to instead find a worried frown on Tikki's face.

"You know, Marinette, I don't think avoiding Adrien will be as easy as you think."

Marinette slapped the air with a dismissive hand. "Come on, Tikki. How hard can it be to avoid the busiest boy in school?"

Three knocks bounced off the hatch in her floor. "Marinette?"

The girl in question nearly fell off her chair.

"It's Adrien." His voice was muffled through the wood. "Are you in there?"

Marinette flew from the chair so fast she sent it spinning. "Adrien," she squeaked, arms whipping in front of her as if to shield herself from an incoming train. "What are you – Uhh – Hi! I mean, what?" She slapped her forehead. "I mean, err… just a sec!" She pried her side bag open, watched as Tikki zipped inside it, and snapped it shut in an instant. Her steps were fast and heavy as she hurried to the hatch, almost tripping on the edge of a round rug.

Lurching the hatch in the floor aside, she found a pair of green eyes smiling up at her. "Hey Marinette!" He briefly let go of the stair railing to wave at her, drawing attention to a paper bag that crumpled as it swayed from his left arm. She glimpsed a golden emblem upon it and knew it was from the Dupain-Cheng Bakery.

He looked uncomfortable, hunched on the stairs to her room and unable to reach his full height. And yet he continued to smile as she gaped like a weirdo.

Finally, a giggle hiccupped in her throat. "Adrien, hi." She mirrored his wave with a little too much vigour. "Fancy seeing you here. In my house. As opposed to, uhh… school."

Adrien peered up at her from through his bangs, which remained a ruffled mess from this morning.

To her, they were like a giant neon sign on his head that read "I AM CHAT NOIR".

The sight of them had eased her a few times today.

Now, not so much.

"Sorry…" He rubbed at his neck, his cheery smile shrivelling into something more reserved. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" His eyes travelled over her shoulder, as though searching for someone. "I thought I heard talking and I—"

"Talking? Like, with another person?" Marinette shot ramrod straight. "What? Notally! I mean totally. I mean no, you totally weren't hearing that. I was just, uhh…" She managed her best take on Tikki's high-pitched voice, and sounded more like a pre-schooler with a really bad cough. "I was just talking… to… myself." She quickly gave up on her imitation of Tikki. It was already itching her throat, not to mention Adrien was blinking at her as though she had three eyes. "Yeah, so I was just… conversing… with myself. Y'know, like I said I do this morning. Some of the time. Not, y'know… all the time."

"Uhh… Okay then?" Adrien showed a smile, despite the confusion that riddled every inch of his face. "Well, in that case, I—"

"Oh, how silly of me!" Marinette held a hand out to him. "Come on up!"

His eyes twinkled, first at her and then at her hand, which he reached for willingly.

But something caught her eye.

And surprisingly, that thing wasn't the many photos of Adrien that had once littered her walls. She'd taken those down a few weeks ago, save for a couple on the corkboard above her bed, which were spritzed amid pictures of her other friends.

Ahead of her sat the trunk that housed Adrien's birthday presents (now for the next forty-eight years). And upon that trunk was Master Fu's phonograph.

Terror tainted her face. What if he recognised it?

Before he could accept her hand, she slapped it to her chest. "Actually, no. My room's a mess. It's super embarrassing." She ducked through the hatch and gripped his shoulders, coaxing him down the stairs. "Let's talk somewhere tidier."

Wait.

Had Adrien even been to Master Fu's?

She didn't think so.

Marinette ripped her hands from his shoulders, instead grabbing his wrist. "I mean, uhh. It's not that messy. Come on up." She took two steps toward her room, before screeching to a halt.

What if he had been to Master Fu's and she just didn't know?

"That'd be a disaster," she breathed.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that?"

She bolted upright. "Uhh… My room. It's a total disaster. Let's talk downstairs!" Her hand remained around his wrist and before he could even open his mouth, she was all but dragging him to the foot of the stairs. She didn't miss the line that had etched between his brows.

In fact, it had her biting back a groan.

Maybe she should write a book: How To Look Stupid In One Minute Or Less.

What genre would it be? A comedy? A horror? Maybe a tragedy?

She couldn't decide.

All she knew is it wouldn't be a self-help book.

"So, umm…" Marinette tapped her pointer fingers together, her lips wiggling in thought. "What are you doing there? I mean here. In my house." Her shoulders seized. "Which I totally mind, by the way. I – I mean, which I totally don't mind." She faked a long yawn. "Sorry, I'm being a freak—I mean, it's… uhh… been a long week. Yeah, that's what I meant."

Adrien held up a hand and smiled. "It's okay, Marinette. I know you didn't sleep well last night." He slid a familiar pink bag from his back and she barely resisted the urge to smack her head against the nearby bookcase. "That's probably why you left this in class. I was stopping by the bakery anyway, so I thought I'd return it." He held the bag out to her, still wearing that warm-hearted smile of his, and she accepted it with rigid movements.

"Th – Thank you, Adrien." She pulled it over one shoulder and peered up at him, a blush grazing her cheeks. "That's very curious—I mean sweet of you."

And it was.

But why not just leave it with her parents?

Surely that would've been way easier than delivering it to her in person.

Marinette sucked in a breath. What if he was trying to figure out if she was, in fact, Ladybug?

That would involve being around her more. And annoyingly, it also happened to sabotage her own plans to avoid him.

Suspecting she was Ladybug due to her word vomit was one thing. Didn't he know better than to actively seek out her identity?

She hoped so.

Maybe she was just reading into this too much.

Adrien had always been thoughtful. This might've just been one of those times.

"Oh, it was nothing," he insisted, tearing her from those thoughts. "You've done far more for me since we met." Remembrance lit up his eyes like the flick of a switch, and he glanced at the paper bag around his wrist. "That reminds me." He strode over to the kitchen, set the bag on the counter and dipped his hand inside. "Your father mentioned his pear and pineapple cheesecake is a favourite of yours. And if your designs are anything to go by, you have really great taste." He pulled out a small carton that brandished the same golden emblem as the bag. "So, I thought you might like a slice."

"Adrien, I…" She gaped, first at him, then at the carton. "You – You didn't have to! Thank you." They exchanged smiles as she accepted the carton, and placed it on the nearby counter.

"Again, it's nothing." Adrien waved his hands out before him, as if to emphasise his point. "Honestly, I was there to get something for another friend anyway." He glanced at the paper bag, now containing two neatly stacked cartons rather than three. "But it looked so delicious, I just had to get myself a slice. And there was only one left after that, so… I thought it might make a nice start to your weekend."

Marinette felt resistance as she swallowed, her throat closing. The other slice of cake must've been for Kagami.

"That's—" Her voice cracked and she hoped he hadn't noticed. "That's, umm, really thoughtful of you." Her eyes sunk to the counter as she smoothed her hand across it, its surface cool against her palm. "I, um – I hope Papa didn't make you pay for my piece."

He gave a half-smile. "Worse! He insisted I have it for free."

She giggled. "Yup. That sounds like Papa."

Adrien set his hand flat against the counter, as though mirroring her stance. "In the end, he settled for giving me a discount."

When he leaned in close and revealed a sly smirk, her first thought was that it should've come with a warning. Chat Noir had done this a million times, but Adrien? Only once that she could recall – after Troublemaker – when he'd leaned into her personal bubble and teasingly accused her of lying about why his face was all over her room. In hindsight, that had been a very Chat thing to do.

Again, how had she been so blind?

Adrien’s voice snapped her back to the present. "Don't tell your father," he whispered behind his hand, "but I may have slipped a few notes in the tip jar when he wasn't looking."

Before she could stop herself, Marinette snorted with amusement. "I won't tell him," she said, a twinkle in her eyes, "but only because you're bribing me with cake."

"You're too kind," he actually teased—and for a second, she stopped breathing. Heck, she even snuck a glance at her arm, just to make sure she wasn't transformed. When had this become an exchange not unlike the ones shared by their alter egos?

Adrien fished his sleek smartphone from his school bag and spared it a glance. "Well, I should probably get going. I've got fencing in less than half an hour."

"Sure," said Marinette, watching as he plucked the paper bag from the counter. "I'll see you out then." She led him to the front door, opening it to reveal the dimly lit stairwell beyond. "Thanks again for bringing my backpack, Adrien. And thanks for the cake. You really didn't have to."

Adrien held up a hand. "At the risk of sounding like a broken record player, it really is nothing." He tugged the strap of his bag a little higher on his shoulder. "And I hope you enjoy the cake. It was made by the best baker in Paris"—he winked—"so that shouldn't be hard."

Marinette giggled. "I'll pass your compliments onto the chef." She glanced at the paper bag on his arm, and drooped as she eyed the two cartons within it. "Well, you'd better not keep Kagami waiting." In that moment, she was reminded of the lacklustre way she'd reacted to his new girlfriend joining them tomorrow for video games. "Uh – Actually, I – umm – I just wanted to berate—congratulate you on, well… you and Kagami." As her grip on the front door tightened, she could only hope her smile seemed sincere. "You guys… You make a cute couple."

"Oh, I – Thank you, Marinette." His eyes dropped to his feet, but not before she caught sight of the thought that hazed their depths. She recognised that look; Chat had worn it just last night, when gathering his words.

Marinette remained silent, as Ladybug had, and allowed him some time to think.

Only a few seconds ticked by, both of them still and quiet in the doorway. "Hey… err…" His eyes inched up to meet hers. "Remember the advice you gave me about Kagami?"

Marinette stiffened. "I – Uh. About the ice rink? Yeah. I remember." She laughed, but there was no real joy to the sound. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," Adrien drawled, pink painting his ears, "I was kind of hoping you could give me some more advice about her… if that's all right?"

At this point, she was stiffer than the mannequin that lived in her bedroom. She hoped and hoped and hoped he wasn't wanting her to tag along on another date. She was all for helping him out, but in hindsight, that trip to the ice rink had been agony—and that was before she knew he was the cat who'd been incessantly asking her out for over a year.

"I... uhh..." Her voice sounded as though it'd been shoved through a strainer. "Sure. Um. Go away. I mean, fire ahead. No – uh – go ahead." If he hadn't been right there, she would've smacked her forehead for sure.

Adrien pressed his hands together, his eyes sinking down and to his right. "Well, you see"—he looked back at her—"despite what the media are saying, Kagami and I aren't actually official yet."

Shock flashed across Marinette's face. "Really?" She shot straight. "I – I mean, uhh… carry on."

"The thing is… Kagami thinks we are official, but I'm, well…" He looked back at the ground, his bangs falling across his eyes to frame his steadily flushing cheeks. "Promise you won't laugh?"

Marinette smiled. "Of course not."

Adrien peered up from the ground. "Honestly, I'm kind of a hopeless romantic." She bit back the urge to burst out 'same'. "So… I've always imagined getting a girlfriend would go a lot differently than this."

She bit her lower lip, as thoughts of a black cat on a Parisian rooftop affronted her mind. "You mean things like"—she practically squeaked her next words—"love poems and roses and candlelit dinners?"

His eyes shot wide. "I – Yes. Yes, exactly like that, actually." His brows gathered, light fading from his eyes—and her insides twisted at the sight.

Was he thinking back to that rooftop dinner date he’d put together?

Of all the times Ladybug had rejected him?

All the times she’d rejected him?

"Anyway," Adrien said, that light re-sparking in his eyes, though a little dimmer than before, "I guess the thing I want to ask you is, well…" He bit his bottom lip, something that shouldn't have been so darn cute given the circumstances. "If you were Kagami, what would you want me to do? Should I tell her what I've just told you? Or should I just… I don't know… go with the idea that we are official?"

Her heart hammered in her ribcage, so hard its every beat seemed to pop her eardrums. Maybe her luck really had run dry back on the Eiffel Tower. It had only been a matter of time, right?

"You can't tell her," she finally said, only to backtrack. "I mean, you should tell her. I – I mean…" She stopped to draw in a breath, taking a moment to reclaim her composure.

Right now, Adrien deserved the guidance of a friend—and he'd chosen her. Even if her heart was coming undone at the seams, she’d never let her kitty down—and she refused to start now.

"If I thought we were already together, I'd still love it if you asked me properly." Her words flowed with a surprising level of ease. "Maybe you could even ask her during that candlelit dinner. And even better, you'd get what you were hoping for from the beginning and you'd clear things up all at once."

Adrien had hung from her every word, his face steadily brightening with each syllable that left her lips. "You're right," he said, purpose filling his voice. "Thanks, Marinette! You're always the girl with a plan."

Marinette threaded her fingers in front of her, a shy smile lining her lips. "Yup, that's me." Her smile twitched. "Oh and I hope Kagami destroys—err, enjoys the cake!"

Adrien rubbed the nape of his neck. "Actually, it's for someone else." He gripped his chin, guilt straining his next words. "But now that you mention it, maybe I should've gotten a piece for her too."

"Oh. Well, umm—" She scoured her brain for a solution. "Why don't you just… uhh, give her mine?"

He shook his head. "No need, Marinette. It was meant for you." Smiling, he held up the paper bag around his arm. "I'll just give her mine. Problem solved."

Her eyes went round. "But you have to try Papa's pear and pineapple cake, Adrien. It's delicious!" Tenacity transformed her face. "Come with me." It was a statement, not a suggestion—and before he could protest, she'd grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the kitchen.

"Marinette, you don't need to—"

"Yes, I do." She plucked a small plate from a nearby cupboard and a knife from a drawer. "There is no way I'm letting you leave without your own slice of Papa's cheesecake."

Marinette sliced a sliver from her cake and shifted it to her plate. The larger piece, of course, stayed in the carton, while the plated piece was stowed in the fridge. She soon faced him, the carton gripped within two pale hands; it nearly slipped through her fingers when she saw his smile—so light, so familiar, so full of fondness. When being stubborn, Ladybug often found herself on the receiving end of it.

It was such a Chat Noir smile.

And in that moment, she realised it was such an Adrien smile too.

"Thank you, Marinette." That smile didn't once waver as he placed the carton in the paper bag, atop the two others. "You didn't have to trouble yourself like that."

"Hey, it was a piece of cake." Marinette immediately knew what she'd unleashed and quite frankly, she didn't care.

Awe filled his face. "Was that a pun I just heard?"

She held a hand to her lips, hiding the way they quirked up at the corners. "Mhm. And a pretty sweet one, if I do say so myself."

"Puns and baked goods. Isn't this just the icing on the cake?"

"I guess today you get to have your cake and eat it too."

Adrien laughed, loud and hearty. It was a laugh she rarely heard, and cliché as it may be, that sound was like an entire symphony to her ears. "Wow, Marinette," he said, a grin bright on his face. "I never realised you were so punny!"

She shrugged. "Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me." The phrase came innocently enough, but the moment it sunk in, a strangled croak crept up her throat. "That is, err… things like, what I ate for breakfast this morning or – um – what my favourite kind of potato is and – uh – my second favourite colour. Yeah, things like that. Y'know?"

A chuckle shook his shoulders. "Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me either,” he said, a spark in his eyes—it was snuffed within a second. "Err – By that I of course mean…. uh… things like my least favourite food or my… favourite flavour of macaron."

"Hey, isn't it pass—" Marinette slapped a hand to her lips, heat rising to her cheeks. "Uhh… Past the time you wanted to leave by?"

Recollection flared in his eyes. "Oh – Right! Thanks for reminding me." He glanced at the time on the nearby microwave and sucked air in through his teeth. "Okay, I definitely need to get going." He rushed from the kitchen to the entrance, his right hand gripping the shoulder strap of his bag as his left reached for the bronze doorknob.

Marinette beat him to it, pulling the door aside with a smile he returned without hesitation.

"By the way," he said, just as he stepped into the stairwell, "whenever you've got any puns in the oven, feel free to throw them my way."

"I'll keep you roasted."

He slipped her a side glance, his smile crossing into smirk territory. "Oh and don't think I didn't notice you gave me the bigger slice."

Her lips seemed to move of their own accord. "I'm sorry. Can Mr Teen Model not handle all the calories?"

For a moment, he seemed incapable of forming words, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. And then he simply beamed at her. "See you tomorrow, Marinette."

She nodded, her eyes gleaming. "Enjoy your cake!"

"I'm sure I'll enjoy every single calorie of it." And with another of his classic winks, Adrien left.

Only when Tikki spoke up, peeking out of her side bag, did Marinette realise he was long gone and she was still holding the front door wide open, a goofy smile across her lips.

"I thought you were planning to avoid Adrien."

Marinette could almost hear her kwami's unspoken 'not flirt with him'. She slapped the air, a pained laugh prying her lips apart. "Pffft. Ha! No. Don't be silly, Tikki. I was just—"

"Keeping his calorie intake in check?" Tikki said, fluttering her eyelashes dramatically.

"I – I didn't look like that!" Marinette shoved the door shut, a pout on her lips. "I – I was – He was—" Unleashing a groan, she slumped against the door and sunk to the ground, the wooden floorboards cold against her bare calves. "He was acting like Chat Noir and… I don't know… the Ladybug in me just… just took over."

"Uh huh," Tikki drawled, mirth thick in her voice. "So, you're still going to Alya's tomorrow?"

"Of course!" Marinette said, throwing her hands out for emphasis. "I already said yes to her days ago. And it's not like I expected Adrien's dad to say the same to him. He never lets him hang out with his friends!" She chewed at her bottom lip, thoughts of tomorrow dragging her down from her Adrien-induced stupor.

Tikki floated out of her side bag and hovered at eye level. "Well, you have a joint patrol tonight. At least you can get some more practice at acting normal around him." There was a glint in Tikki's eyes and a cheeky smirk on her lips. "Though by your flirting just now, I'd say you're already well on your way."

Groaning, Marinette hid her face behind a hand. "I'm pretty sure talking to Adrien like that is not normal."

"You're right." Tikki's smirk stretched as she zipped closer to her owner. "But talking to Chat Noir like that is."

"Tikki!" Marinette shrieked, leaping to her feet. "He has a girlfriend! Well… a not-girlfriend. Or a… might-as-well-be-girlfriend. I… You know what I mean. And besides, I'm kind of… I dunno… sort of seeing Luka?"

"I know, I know." Tikki giggled as she floated onto her chosen's shoulder. "I'm just teasing."

A small smile soon painted Marinette's lips as she tickled Tikki's belly. "What am I going to do with you?"

Tikki giggled in her ear, remaining on Marinette's shoulder as she scaled the stairs to her bedroom. Her latest encounter with Adrien raced through her mind, bringing with it a thought she'd previously dismissed. "My reaction last night as Ladybug must've really freaked him out if he's bringing cheesecake to patrol." The light of clarity brightened her eyes and she snapped her fingers triumphantly. "But that gives me an idea."

[strsburn]

sounds perfect

sounds perfect

summary : reader not only gets a surprise birthday party but a date with her longtime crush Peter Parker, could this day get any better?

see also : reader has the best birthday yet.

pairing : peter parker x female!stark reader

genre : fluff

words : 836+

side notes : this one shot is dedicated to my good friend whom I call, Mer @marvelsswansong. Happy Birthday Mer, I love you and hope you have an amazing 18th birthday. ________________________________________

"Well, look who finally decided to wake up. I'd call you sleeping beauty, but the beauty part seems a little bit far fetched right now." You half heartedly sent a glare your dad's way as you made your way to the counter top, taking a seat begrudgingly while a plate of buttery pancakes was slid your way. 

"Fight me, dad. I don't care that you're Tony Stark, I'll fight you right now." You held up your fork as if to show you meant business but Tony only chuckled, reaching over to ruffle your hair. Much like he did when you were seven.

"Hmm, cranky and violent in the morning. You are your father's daughter." Your fake glare turned into a warm smile as you looked up at your dad.

"I love you dad."

"Love you too, pumpkin. Now hurry up and get ready for school. Just cause it's your birthday doesn't mean you get to be late." With a grin, you hugged your dad tight and headed for your bedroom.

________________________________________

"Y/n! Wait up!" You turned at the familiar voice as you reached your locker, smiling when you saw your best friend and your dad's intern, Peter Parker.

"Hey Pete, what's up?" You asked. 

He smiled at you, skidding to a stop as he ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Right, so uh, I know we had plans today to go to that new comic book store around the block but I- uh Mr. Stark has something he needs me to do, so I can't make it. I'm sorry." He rushed out causing you to frown. You didn't remember your father mentioning anything about it.

"But-"

"Sorry, I gotta go. Don't want to be late to chemistry." Before you could say anything more, Peter took off leaving you confused. 

"-It's my birthday." You finished quietly. Frowning you grabbed the rest of your books and headed for English. 

_________________________________________

"Hello? Dad?" You called out hoping to hear from someone. School had just ended and you were looking forward to spending some time with your dad on your birthday, hoping to forget some of the stress from school, as you had been assigned a shit load of homework. 

When all you were met with was silence you huffed, heading for the living room where you could sulk and maybe catch up on some new episodes of Miraculous Ladybug. 

You headed for the living room calling out to F.R.I.D.A.Y. as you did. 

"Hey Friday, turn on the lights for me would you?"

"Surprise!" You jumped as the lights switched on revealing your dad and all the avengers as they stood with smiles on their faces a "Happy Birthday Mini Stark" written sloppily across a banner that hung from the ceiling. 

"What? Oh my God, you guys." You teared up as you spotted Peter and your father at the front of the group, both wearing wide grins on their faces. 

"Dad? This was your idea wasn't it?" You accused with a smile. 

"Actually, pumpkin. This was all underoos' idea." He patted Peter on the back, causing the boy to burn a bright red. 

"W-well I wouldn't say it was all my idea, I mean, Mr. Stark-"

Before he could ramble on you rushed forward, bringing your arms around him causing him to stumble as he put a hand hesitantly around your back. 

"Thank you, Pete." You gave him a kiss on the cheek, watching as he turned shy, mumbling a quiet "you're welcome."

"Alright underoos, you can let go of my daughter now." Peter pulled back so fast you were surprised be didn't snap his neck. He turned to face your father, his eyes wide and cheeks void of color. 

"S-sorry, Mr. Stark.I-your daughter just gives really nice hugs and-" Tony rolled his eyes patting Peter on the shoulder.

"Calm down, spider-ling. You like my daughter, she likes you, so there's nothing I can do about that. But if you hurt her, I promise you I will activate instant kill." Both you and Peter blushed, as your father chuckled before leaving the two of you alone.

"Well, that wasn't how I planned to tell you, I liked you." Peter mumbled after a few moments of silence. 

You turned to him, eyes shining bright.

"So, seeing as we both like each other. When will you be picking me up, Parker?" Peter turned to you, eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Picking you up?" 

"Yes, for our date." You giggled. Peter fumbled for his phone, pulling up the calendar app. 

"I- how about t-tomorrow at eight? I'll take you to Delmar's for a nice sandwich and t-then we could go for a swing around the rooftops?" He gulped, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

You smiled, reaching over to give him a light peck on the corner of his lips.

"Sounds perfect." You winked before walking off, not missing the small fist pump and little skip Peter did, from the corner of your eye. 

Best birthday ever. 

[lemonadegarden]

Prompt: Bruce, Jason's grave, first christmas after he died. Make me cry pls and thank

Anything for you, Ren, my sweet sweet angst goblin.

Dick came home a week and a half before Christmas, carrying enough gifts with him to feed and clothe all of Gotham penitentiary, and a few orphanages to boot. He insisted that Bruce open one every day, and afterwards they would go looking for trees, or Christmas parties, or to a wreath making class, or learn how to make gingerbread houses.

Once they even went ice fishing. Dick caught a walleye. Ten pounder. Bruce caught nothing.

After their assorted Christmas themed activities, they would come home and Dick would make him open another present. Then it was a joyful long dinner, with pot roast and cranberry sauce and jellied consomme and roast beef with Yorkshire pudding and eggnog.

And then Dick would make him watch Christmas movies with him until long past midnight, and then Bruce would have to insist he had to go to bed, because they had a long day of opening presents and competitive skiing and glazed shrimp scampi ahead of them the next day.  

He lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. It was not easy to sleep, most nights. Dick had firmly told him that he was not to be patrolling around Christmas time this year. Kate would handle it. He sighed, turning over.

The house was quiet, save for the muted sounds of the TV from the downstairs lounge, where, no doubt Dick had fallen asleep without switching off the system.

 He got up a few minutes later, scrubbing at his face. Sleep would not be coming to him tonight. Tomorrow was Christmas Day. Perhaps it was why Dick had been extra enthusiastic in his gift giving attempts. He’d given Bruce a set of jade cufflinks, and a five hundred dollar espresso machine.

When he saw Bruce staring at him, Dick grinned. “I made the down payment a week ago, and I'll have paid the rest off by February.”

When Bruce shook his head, he saw Dick's face fall a little. “You don't like it?” Dick said.  

Bruce studied the espresso machine, trying to think of the best way to put it.

“I do like it,” he said finally. “But you need to stop trying so hard.”

There was a silence for a while. An unspoken weight.  

“You're not trying at all,” Dick said, his eyes on his shoes. His voice was quiet.

“I don't–”

“Can we– can we talk for a sec, Bruce?”

Bruce shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to do that. “We're talking now,” he said.

“It's like, it's like you don't even want to move on!” Dick said, his hands up in the air, “after what happened to– what happened, you don't think I gotta live with that too? That I don't stay up nights thinking about how I could have done things differently and maybe, and maybe he wouldn't have–” Dick stopped talking, and went quiet. He was still look at his shoes, only now his jaw was clenched hard.  

Bruce realized with a start that Dick was trying not to cry.  

“Dick,” he started, “I'm–”

Dick was shaking his head. “You just want to die,” he was saying. He swiped at his cheek with the back of his hand, an abrupt, embarrassed gesture, “you don't even care.”

“That's not true.”

“It is,” Dick said, his voice low, “it is.”

Bruce looked away. “Dick, we don't have to talk about this now.”

Dick said nothing. “You mean, you don't want to talk about it,” he said.  

“No, I mean this is Christmas Eve and I don't want to ruin it for everyone,” Bruce said, quietly.  

Dick laughed a little. “Who's everyone, Bruce? Kate? Selina? Clark? No one's here. No one's coming to see you because you don't return their calls. You don't talk to them.”

“Let's talk about this later.”

“And I know you still haven't been going to work regularly, because Alfred called me up last month and told me. So all you do is sit at home or go to patrol, pretty much, huh?”

“Dick,” Bruce said.

“You act like this is all your fault and guess what, B. You're not that special. It was just a random, horrific thing that happened, and it's not all on you, you goddamn–”

“Dick!” Bruce snapped.

Dick fell silent. Through the windows across from them, Bruce could see the snow fall. It was going to be a white Christmas.

He sighed. His skin felt too tight on his face. “I'm sorry,” he said.  

Dick nodded stiffly. “Me too,” he said, after a while.

And that had been that. An hour later, Dick was back to normal, forcing Bruce to go to the the Neimann-Bauer annual Christmas Eve benefit, and making sure that he wore his new jade cufflinks and drank coffee out of the new espresso machine. After the benefit, they drove home in the Bentley while Dick talked his ear off about the new Radiohead album or something like that.

Then they came home, and went to bed. Or tried, in Bruce's case.  

He walked over to a window and looked outside. It had stopped snowing, at last. Tomorrow morning would be beautiful. A dreamscape, something out of a surreal painting. The whole lawn of Wayne Manor swathed in white.  

He pressed his forehead against the glass. Closed his eyes.

*

Bruce drove to the cemetery.

He couldn't explain why he did it, especially in the dead of the night, and just after it had snowed, too. He just felt as if he had to. His mother had always told him it was impolite not to wish family members Merry Christmas. Even ones that lived far away. You were supposed to call. It was the right thing to do. In the morning, he was going to apologize to Dick. Make things good with him. He just wanted to wish Jason first.  

He got out of the car, turning up the collar of his overcoat. It was deathly cold. The cemetery was far from the manor, situated in Gotham proper. It had been near Jason and his mother's house, back when they had still lived there.  

At the time, he had felt that Jason would want to be buried next to his mother.

He walked along the neat row of graves, his hands in the pockets of his overcoat. His breath came out in puffs of mist. Jason's grave was in the third row. He stood in front of it, coming to a stop.

“Hi,” he said. Then he cleared his throat, because his voice had come out all rough and strange.  

“Hi,” he said again. “Merry Christmas.” He paused again, unsure of what to say.  There was a long silence. “Alfred made plum cake again, Jay. It was perfect. You would have loved it.” He looked away.  This had truly been one of his more idiotic ideas, driving down here through the snow and the iced up roads in the middle of the night, to talk to a rock about a cake.  

He clenched his jaw. “Maybe it's stupid, talking like this. I don't know where you really are. Maybe you're nowhere at all. I don't know what– what I believe.”

Jason wasn't in heaven, he thought. He wasn't in hell either, or anywhere in between. He wasn't six feet underground, listening to Bruce as he talked. Jason just… wasn't.  

And yet something strange in Bruce's chest kept him talking. Kept him from acknowledging the horrible decision that this had been, and driving back to his house and getting back into his warm bed.  

He brushed away some of the snow from the gravestone, idly. “I'm sorry,” he said, “you know I'm not good with words.” He realized that he'd forgotten to wear gloves. His hands would be numb soon. Right now they were just cold.

“That was always Dick's strong suit,” he continued, in a low voice. “Words, I mean. He always knows the right thing to say.”

“He's been trying really hard this Christmas. To forget, I suppose. He needs that,” Bruce said, “I owe him that.”

A wind had started to pick up, and he could hear a faint rustling coming from somewhere. Possibly just a rat. “He said something to me today. He said that I just wanted to die, now that you're gone.”

Bruce furrowed his brow, “It's true,” he said, “isn't it? I don't think I knew it myself.” He shrugged.

“Wouldn't be so bad,” he said, thinking. “Dick could handle things in place of me, in Gotham. I trust him. And everyone else would just carry on, I suppose. And I'd be with you. No one would mind too much, I think. Clark or Selina or any of the others.”

He looked at the gravestone, frowning. “People move on,” he said.  Other people, he thought. It was a thing they did. Moved on.

If Jason was here he's have done an elaborate snort. Apparently not you, you emotionally repressed asshole, he'd have said, or something as equally sardonic.

“No,” Bruce said lightly, “not me.” He touched the freezing edge of the gravestone again, with light fingers. “In my defense, it's only been three months. And I did love you so much,” he said quietly. “I didn't say that enough, how much I loved you. I'm so scared that you died not knowing. I lie awake at night thinking about it. Did you know?”

The gravestone answered him with an expected silence, and Bruce almost half-smiled. He truly had gone insane. Asking questions to a grave.

He reached into his the pocket of his coat, and took out a pair of car keys. He knelt down, and placed it in front of the grave.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, smiling. “It's only a  Honda Odyssey, so don't get too ahead of yourself. I bought it almost six months ago. Wanted to surprise you for Christmas. I just thought, with you turning sixteen next year and all. You might've wanted me to start teaching you. That's all.”

He knelt there for a while, the snow soaking through his pants and the cold going straight to his knees. “That's all,” he said again, his voice low. “Just thought you might appreciate it. You could drive to school and back, and go out with that girl you wanted to ask to homecoming. Take her to the movies or something,” he smiled, “I know you think that I didn't know about her, but I overheard you talking to Dick about it. And she came to the funeral with her mom. She seemed like a very nice young lady.”

She'd cried a lot. An uncomfortable amount, and Bruce had had to look away.

He hadn't felt much at the funeral at all. Only a faint sense of embarrassment at all the crying around him. Jason would have been amused.

He hadn't felt anything after that initial night in Ethiopia. And even that couldn't have been strictly classified as feeling, so much so as his mind just shutting down and focusing on getting the body home. He could barely even remember it now. A feeling like there was a stone in his stomach, something that got heavier and heavier as the days went by. At the funeral, while he watched everyone cry, in the kitchen, when he saw a half empty box of Reese's puffs. At conferences at work, when he could feel all the interns staring at him while Lucius talked about EPA regulations in their factories in Detroit. When he saw a pair of socks that one of the maids had mistakenly put into his drawer instead of Jason's.  

All along, the stone in his stomach was turning, solidifying, building on itself, layer by layer. Getting heavier and heavier. And he had foolishly believed that he was going to feel nothing forever.

It had only been the morning after the funeral, when he'd gotten into the shower before going to work that he'd just… stopped. He'd looked at the water swirling down the drain, and some strange, anomalous part of his brain had decided that it was time to snap. The stone had split open. Cracked in half.

After that he had gone straight back to bed. And he hadn't gone to work for a week, until Alfred called Dick and made him come down to Gotham and talk to Bruce. That had been September.

This was now. His brain still felt snapped. Broken into several pieces, chunks of them floating aimlessly in cerebrospinal fluid, gray and useless. Shattered, was the right word. Shattered.  

The car keys lay in the snow. Bruce stared at them. A car. What a naive idiot he had been.

“I think he's having a breakdown or something,” he had heard Dick whisper into his phone, that morning that he'd driven down, a week after the funeral. He didn't care what Dick said. He didn't care about anything at all. He lay in bed, staring at a patch of wall. His son was dead. His son was dead.

“Bruce,” Dick had whispered when he'd hung up. He'd put a hand on his shoulder. “You have to get out of bed,” he said.  

Bruce had closed his eyes and pretended he was asleep.  

“Okay,” he said now, “okay. Bye, Jaybird.” He stood up, brushing the snow off his legs.  

Tomorrow morning he was going to smile when he opened his presents, and he was going to give Dick that picture of the two of them that he had had framed, of when Dick was very small and they had gone to the zoo the first time. And then he was going to give him the paperwork that said that Zitka officially belonged to Gotham Zoo now, and no longer the circus, which had stopped showcasing animals. Bruce had donated enough money to the zoo that they had had an enclosure made, with plenty of room for her. Another elephant was being shipped in from a zoo in Arkansas, so she wouldn't be alone.

Because that was the last thing anyone wanted. To be alone.

To new beginnings, he would say into Dick's collar, as they hugged, and then they would take a family photo with Alfred, without only three chairs instead of four, and that night they would eat a pot roast they wouldn't be able to finish because Alfred had used his old recipe that accounted for four people. And they would pretend not to notice and Alfred would pack the leftovers and the next morning Dick would go back to Bludhaven.  

And Bruce would just have to carry on, with his snapped brain and the shattered stone in his stomach, and he would wave goodbye as Dick pulled out from the driveway.  And then the rest of his unbearable life would go on and on forever until he was dead.

To new beginnings, indeed.

He gave the gravestone one last look. Then he walked off, towards the car. The car keys lay where he'd left them, in the snow.  

[pbandjesse]

My back is really hurty right now but today was a really nice day. Just long and rainy.

I was very tired last night. I'm very tired today. But it's all right. I slept okay last night. I woke up with James's alarm around 6 and fell back asleep until 7. He was gone when I woke up. He had gone to his parents house to get the car to get the last couple things for my other apartment. The plan now is for me to go on Saturday and Sunday and clean. Trying to make it as nice as possible. Then we will go in with are U-Haul when he has a day off. And get my bed and my bookshelf. I'm still stressed out about it all but it's fine. I think I'm going to bring some cleaning stuff and trash bags and things like that over this weekend. Try to just do as much as possible.

I felt okay when I got up. It wasn't thrilled about being awake. Are going to work but I had some positive feelings for the guy. Last night at around 10 p.m. Tiffany called me and asked if I would feel okay leading the older kids science class. And honestly that's what I thought we were doing from the beginning so I was fine with that. I left here around 7:40 and went down to the bus stop.

I got to work at 8:15 and went upstairs and sorry it's setting things up. My fabric was missing but I found it underneath I dropped off. No idea why it was there. It's all good. Set up and then I went to talk to Edina about changing the stem project. And then I went to go talk to Tiffany about the schedule. Because one of the reasons I am leaving stem is so that a Dina can see how the project should go. So having her do stem first doesn't make any sense.

But after some phone calls and stuff we were able to work that out and I got the schedule and I want it. My art is the same. Then we have reading lunch and recess. And then I go to stem with the older kids. While the little kids go to book arts. And then the little kids come to stem and then the older kids go to book Arts. And that worked really well. Today was so much more chill than it has been and it was great.

I set up some stuff for science. Mixed up watercolor paint in bottles. Made some examples. We were doing sneeze art. And it was very silly. But we started the day with some annoyances because I am very much all about organized chaos. And one of my kids ask to go to the bathroom while we were at breakfast and I told him to go ahead and he ran out the door like a first grader will do. And the new principal admonished me and Marcus for not watching our kids. And it was just very rude and the very first interaction I've ever had with this woman who has not introduced yourself to us yet. So I just felt some kind of way. But whatever. Hopefully she can redeem herself to me because so far is not looking good.

But besides that today was great. We went upstairs we did yoga. I did yoga with the little kids first and then went did with the big kids. With the big kids they also introduce some of my ballet stretches and that was really fun. Getting them to use their brains a little bit. Not all of them are participating but the ones that are I can tell her having a good time.

Art went really well. I was worried about Jeremiah for a while because he just did not understand that he was moving from beading to Patches. But really that was because yesterday he didn't actually do beading because he kept spilling the beads all over the place. But that's fine. He ended up sitting with our youth worker Trinity and he drew these little characters that he likes on a patch that we've been hot glued on. I was so proud of him I took that picture up there with him smiling all big. So sweet. I just wish that he would stop whining. That's my only thing that I cannot stand. We're working on it though.

Reading was great. We drew pictures on the computers of a book we've read recently. I drew some stuff from Flowers for Algernon. And then we talked about them and we had to have some conversations about critique and how you talk about other people's work. Even if you don't like it. You have to be kind. I doubt with some little kid tears but everything was okay. We were having fun.

Lunch and recess we're fine. I think I'm supposed to be having my break during recess now but that's very early for me and I don't want to have my break then so I just didn't. I stayed outside and just chilled. Then we went inside for stem.

It was very confusing for the kids because they had to go into a different room that they've been used to for the last 2 weeks. But we got everybody in the right place and then I had to take it sit down and I kind of gave them a mini introduction on myself and explain what we were going to do and my expectations for them. That if they did the project they would get free time. It's an incentive and honestly they need it. It's summer camp it's not school they should be able to have free time. Especially because I just read that article last night about how not having free play and free time outside of a structured adult activity is really detrimental for your kids and their ability to self soothe and self direct. They need to be able to learn how to do that. So it's very important for me to figure out places in the day where they can have that.

And it worked out really well. They were loud. And they weren't always listening but we explained the project. We talked about how you sneeze at a hundred miles an hour and you cough at 50 miles an hour. And then we got our watercolor paper and are smocks and we went outside.

For both classes it works very well. But the little kids were actually better at it because Miss Adina only left a little kids Spritz their paper twice. And I let the big kids do it as much as they wanted. So some of the big kids ones fell apart because they were so wet. But they were having a really good time and they were color mixing and they were being messy and exploring the medium. And they were learning but it wasn't like a lot. It was just fun. And that's what I wanted. You're outside and it's too hot and so after about 15 minutes we went back in.

We all later artwork down put her smokes away I check back in with them make sure they understood the two facts that I thought them. And then I told them guys you did the project you get 20 minutes of free time. So they got their laptops out and they got their phones out and they were having a good old time. And then at the end we close the laptops and cleaned up and they said thank you Miss Jessie and they headed out. It was so much smoother than every other day I have experience seeing the older kids. It was great. I hope that we can keep that momentum.

For the second half. When I had two little kids do it. I stepped back. I let Adina handle that. I only said a couple things. They all were smocks. They got four colors instead of six colors. Mr. Marcus was there to help. We went outside and we all did our thing. The kids work was much nicer than the older kids. They weren't as wet. You actually saw the spray pattern. It was good. Had them bring them all upstairs we laid them out too dry. I'm going to hang them up tomorrow probably. And then we went in. We watched a video and it was nice. I had a good day.

We finish up the day with some snacks and some hanging out on our yoga mats. Took the ball downstairs to go home. Hung out on the hill until everyone was picked up. And I was able to leave at like 3:45.

The bus took a little while and it was really hot out. Just so heavy and humid. And that's because rain was coming. When I was getting off the bus it wasn't raining at. And when I got to my bike it wasn't raining yet. But about two blocks down the street it was starting to rain. At first it was just light. And I thought I would be able to make it home. But then it started to pour. Just absolutely downpouring on me. It felt nice but there was lightning and a lot of wind. The few other people I saw outside trying to get stuff together and run in for looking at me with the same Panic I'm sure was on my face. I was soaked to the skin. But it was just funny at that point. There was nothing else I could do so I just went upstairs and told James to take my off of the day photo. Because it was funny. And then I took a shower.

James to pick up pizza for dinner. He seeing Hamilton with his parents and sister tonight. Which is great because it's the anniversary of the Duel at Weehawken. That's amazing. I don't know if it was on purpose but it's great. So he hung out with me for an hour and then went to go have dinner with them. And I've just been hanging out at home.

I worked on my Furby project for a little while. I've been watching videos and playing with sweetpea. Sweetpea loves pipe cleaners so he was very excited about those. I painted my toenails and now I think I'm going to get up and maybe go do something but I have no idea what my eyebrows? Play with my makeup? Who knows!

Tomorrow is the last day of camp for the week. 5 days is very hard. I do not like working 8 hours. I love my job it's very easy. But it is still a lot. I don't think I was built to work eight hours a day. I am a baby. But it's going to be a good day. I'm slightly concerned about the project tomorrow because I'm not positive we have the right materials for it. But still going to be fun. And then me and James are going to go see to Apartments. It was nice. But they're both of Mount Vernon and we're both really kind of committed to moving to Bolton Hill now. So we'll see what happens we'll make it work. I'm excited to see places because it gives us some good perspective of what the other wants. We both are pretty sure we want the same things and we know what the other one likes but it's still fun. Even if we're not going to rent these ones.

Hope you guys all have a good night. I'm sending you all Good Vibes through the universe. Sleep well. Be safe. Try not to get rained on.