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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year ago

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Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter 2)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 3K

Warnings / Descriptions of grief and depression, soft!Joel (He needs his own warning I swear), slow burn but nothing else

Authors Note / I AM SO OVERWHELMED FOR THE LOVE FOR CHAPTER ONE. I'm so glad you guys have enjoyed it so far. This fic is incredibly personal to me. I've not lost a husband or a boyfriend (apart from a typical breakup) but over the recent years I've lost several family members so grief is close to me. I hope you enjoy chapter two - if you like it then comments, reblogs and asks are always helpful - thanks as always for your support of my writing.

Main Masterlist / Series Masterlist

The sun is only starting to colour the sky when you wake that morning. It’s already warm in your bedroom, sheets pushed to one side and that’s when you realise why you’ve woken. Leg draped over the mound of sheets, hand resting on the empty side of the bed, head rested on the pillow that isn’t yours. Because it feels like him. You roll over onto your back and drape your arm over your eyes, letting the pressure bring you back to the real world.

Once you were sure your breathing was somewhere close to normal, you push yourself off the bed and pad down the hallway to the bathroom. You turn on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up before you step under the spray. There’s something about this routine that helps ground you too. Counting the steps in your mind, ticking them off the to-do list. Shampoo hair. Done. Condition ends. Done. Scrub skin. Done. Brush teeth. Done.

By the time you’re setting the coffee to filter, you’ve already made it to sunrise, and you haven’t cried. It’s not healthy, and you know it, but this little competition with yourself helps, seeing how far you can make it through the day without thoughts so deep you have to pack yourself back to bed to try again tomorrow.

Sitting on the bench on the front porch, it’s still quiet. The only people milling about the street were the people heading out on patrol, swapping with those who were coming back. No-one paid you much mind, sitting by yourself, mug cradled in your hands, which was the way you preferred it. You sat there, watching the sky changing colour as the sun rose in earnest, until you could see Maria in the distance, walking towards you. You gave her a small wave, taking your mug inside before grabbing what you needed. Ration cards. Yes. Keys. Yes. Shopping bag. Yes.

“Good morning, honey.” She greets, kiss pressed to your cheek and arms pulling you into a hug.

You wish her a good morning whilst you wrap your arms around her. She’d been your strength this past year. Never pushing you more than she thought you could take, always there when you needed her shoulder to cry on. She’d fed you for the first few months when you couldn’t bear to cook yourself. She truly was the best friend you’d ever had.

You fell into a comfortable silence as you made your way to the market hall. At one point, you wouldn’t have let go of Maria’s arm, but now, you were happy to walk alongside her, hands shoved into the pockets of your jeans. They were small steps, but steps in the right direction none-the-less.

Halfway to the market hall, you could see Joel walking towards you from the other direction. Gun slung over his shoulder, he looks as though he’s just coming back from patrol.

“Good mornin’, ladies,” He greets, “Going anywhere nice?”

“Just to the market,” Maria replies, “Good patrol?”

“Uneventful, so I guess you could say so,” He turns to you now, “I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to come by and sort that table out for you, I’m off tomorrow, how about I swing by then?”

You smile and nod, “Of course, whenever is good for you.”

He bids you both goodbye, he’d been up all night patrolling the walls and was ready to collapse, and when you began walking again, you could feel Maria’s eyes on you and the slight smirk on her mouth. It wasn’t until you were picking up a bowl of tomatoes that she decided to press the subject.

“Joel making himself at home then?”

“He just fixed one of my steps is all,” You replied, refusing to meet her eyes, “And then I asked him to build the table and chairs I wanted, and he agreed.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, but the smirk was still across her lips, “I know what you’re thinking!” You exclaim, moving to walk down the aisle from her, she jogs to catch up, “It’s nothing Maria, and it’s shameful of you to suggest otherwise, it’s barely been a year.”

“I’m sorry,” She speaks softly, taking hold of your arm, “That was wrong of me, what I really meant was that it’s nice that you’re getting back out there, making friends, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.”

“No, I’m sorry for snapping,” You sigh, raking a hand through your hair.

Maria presses a hand to your shoulder in comfort, “Let’s finish up here and get you home.”

You nod and spend the rest of your time in the market in silence. You pick up more fresh strawberries, along with the rest of your essentials. Maria helps you drop everything in your kitchen when you return and gives you another strong hug, “I’m sorry honey, about earlier, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was assuming anything.”

“It’s honestly fine Maria,” You reassured, putting the flour and honey you’d bought in one of your cupboards, “I’m trying,” You sighed, “Just trying to get back to living, and he was nice to me, I’m not interested in anything else but it sure would be nice to have another friend.”

She nods in understanding, “You know, for the longest time I hated him,” She speaks quietly, “When I met Tommy, the stories he told me, the things they’d both done to get to where they were, I thought he was a terrible person, but the more time I’ve spent with him, I know deep down he has a good heart, I think he might be good for you,” She says, “As a friend, of course.” She adds finally.

She leaves you then and suddenly it feels empty in your home. It always does. There is no sound of warm laughter, no sound of another pair of boots on the wooden floor. It’s the quiet that really tightens your chest these days. You look to the stairs; it would be so easy to climb them and collapse into bed right now. Ignore your feelings for a while. Maybe fall into a dreamless sleep and just try again tomorrow. Your feet are almost carrying you before you stop yourself. Not today, you think. It’s not going to get the better of you today. Your eyes fall to the fresh box of strawberries on your counter and you’re moving before you realise what you’re doing.

An hour later, there’s a fresh strawberry pie cooling on the side. It was a frivolous use of your flour and butter ration, but the smell of the pastry reminds you of your mother. She always had some kind of fresh pie cooling on the side when you came home from school. Always served it with ice cream after dinner. Mark was always pragmatic with rations; he would have never let you use your feeble allowance on such a thing. You’d always used the flour for bread, butter was saved for making sandwiches, or spreading on the last slices on the weekend when you toasted it as a treat.

Looking at the pie, you know you should feel silly, but you don’t. You feel proud of yourself. You can almost hear Mark’s voice in your head, he’d call you a silly girl, but he wouldn’t mean it. He’d chastise you for wasting your resources, but with a smile on his face. And then he would gladly take the slice you offered him. He’d kiss you with sugary lips and wipe the flour from your cheeks. Doing something he wouldn’t approve of was good, surely? Moving on, in a tiny step, to making your own life.

There’s a feeling of guilt beneath you though, looking at the pie. You can’t bring yourself to cut a slice. Can’t bring yourself to feel the joy of the fruit in your mouth. How silly to think that one simple thing could fix you. You shake your head and leave it cooling on the side, curling into the couch, reading the same page of the same book you’ve had on the coffee table for months.

Joel knocks on your door at 11am the next morning. He’s alone again, toolbox in hand, letting you know that he’s given Ellie to Maria and Tommy for the day, something about teaching her to ride horses. You lead him through the house and out back, leaving him to set himself up for the day.

You make two cups of coffee, remembering he likes his black. You add a splash of milk to yours. The milk is so fresh from the cows on the farm that you must scoop a layer of cream off the top. You would normally scoop it off and eat it straight from the spoon, but there’s too much today, so you scoop it into a small glass, taking the mugs to the back porch where Joel is measuring up the wood. You set his mug down on the porch railing, taking your own in your hands as you sit down on the floor, back against the wall just to the left of the back door.

The sun is shining again, warming your arms. You lean your head back and close your eyes, taking in slow, deep breaths.

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me, are you?”

You open your eyes and look at him without moving your head, “Depends how exciting your conversation is going to be today.” You tease.

He smiles and turns his attention back to sawing a piece of wood to size, “What did you do before all this?”

You scoff a little, “I was about to start my second year at college, seems like a huge waste of fucking time now, the inheritance money wasted on half a degree.”

“Well, that money would still be pretty useless now anyway,” He shrugs, “What did you study?”

You have to hand it to him, he’s not wrong, “Drama,” You laugh, “Thought I was going to be a big star, already had that Oscars acceptance speech written up here.” You tap one of your temples.

“Who were you going to thank?”

“My parents mainly, although they were already both gone by the time I’d started studying, all the usuals, my agent, the academy, everyone who ever told me I couldn’t do it.”

He chuckles, “You definitely had it all figured out.”

A comfortable silence falls between you as you finish up your coffee. The wood of the decking is hard on your back and you shift uncomfortably, moaning a little in pain when you sit further to one side than the other, your lower back aching slightly, “You know you don’t have to sit out here with me if it’s uncomfortable right?”

“I know,” You respond simply, “It’s just nice to have company.”

“You don’t have other friends here?” He asks, hammering some nails into a piece of wood.

You shake your head, “I guess I did when we first came here, but Mark was always the more likeable of us, people gravitated towards him and I guess when you spend a year wallowing in your own self-pity, people get pretty tired of telling you the same things over and over again in the hopes you’ll snap out of it.”

He nods, “When I lost Sarah, I remember the overwhelming feeling of pointlessness,” He’s not looking at you as he’s speaking, focusing his attention on what you think is becoming a chair, “She’d been my whole life for so long that I just didn’t know what the point was without here, especially in this new world,” You hum in agreement, “And the fact that the healing is never linear, you know?” You hum again, “It’s been twenty years and I still have days where it’s overwhelming, but they become few and far between – I’ll never forget her, but remembering her gets easier, and I bet it will for you as well.”

You lean your head back against the siding of your house, “You sound just like my therapist,” You point out, “She keeps telling me that I need to find something new to keep living for, but how do I do that was he was the only family I ever really had?”

Joel stops for a moment, picking up his mug of coffee to drain it, “Family is a strange old thing,” He finally speaks, “Sure, Tommy is my brother, but Maria? Ellie? I found them; you’ve just got to find your new family.”

“You’re a very wise man, Joel Miller.”

“I think I’ve just lived a longer life, sweet pea.”

The rest of the day continues in much the same way. Snippets of conversation, moments of silence, at one point you get up to water the plants as the midday sun makes way for the dip in temperature for the early afternoon. Joel is a fast but competent worker and as the sun is beginning to set, you have four new chairs dotted around the decking.

“You wanna test them out?” He asked, dropping the last of his tools into the box.

You nod, walking the one that’s closest to you, before gingerly setting yourself down on it as if it might collapse under you, “Come on, I’m a professional, have some faith in me.” Joel murmurs as he watches you slowly lower yourself onto it.

He’s right, it doesn’t collapse. The way he’s built them mean there’s a slight slant to the backrest, meaning you can lean your head back and fully relax when you sit. You can’t deny that he’s done a fantastic job.

“These are great Joel, thank you,” You say, standing back up, “Sit down, I’ve got something to say thank you.”

You disappear into the kitchen as Joel lowers himself onto one of the chairs. He can’t deny he’s done a good job either, maybe he’ll have to make something similar for him and Ellie. He’s already trying to figure out where he might find the wood for his own project when you’re back on the decking with two plates in your hand.

“Is that pie?” He asks as you hand him a plate.

“It is indeed,” You confirm, sitting in the chair next to him with your own plate, “I made it yesterday in an attempt to avoid going to bed at 12pm, you’re lucky that there was cream on the milk too.” You smile, pointing a finger to the sliver of cream you’d divided onto each slice.

“I can’t remember the last time I had anything like this,” He muses, sliding his fork through the end of his slice before eating it, “Jesus Christ, that’s good.”

You chuckle, doing the same to your slice. You had to admit it was pretty good for a rudimentary baking job, the fruit was sweet and you’d managed to make the pastry pretty well too, “I actually can’t remember the last time I had anything like this either,” You take another bite, “I was thinking yesterday as I was making it that Mark would have been cross that I’d used our butter and flour ration to make pastry.”

“I bet once he tried it though he would have forgiven you,” Joel replies, “No-one can be mad for long when it tastes this good.”

You smile to yourself and spend the rest of the time it takes to eat in silence. You sit for a while before Joel’s hand comes into view, he gently takes the plate from your hand and stands, “I better go and get Ellie, she’s probably driving Tommy and Maria up the wall with questions,” He chuckles, “Let me wash these first though.”

You follow him through to the kitchen and cut another slice of pie whilst he rinses the dishes, “Take this for Ellie,” You implore as he’s stood in your kitchen with his toolbox about to leave, “I bet she’s never had something like this.”

He takes the plate gratefully in his other hand, “Listen, I don’t want to step over a line, but I was wonderin’ if you maybe wanted to join me for a drink sometime?”

Almost immediately there’s a sense of panic rising in your throat as you imagine what he’s asking for in your mind. If he’s asking you to The Tipsy Bison, you can already feel the eyes boring into you and the whispers from everyone else. If he’s asking you to go to his place for a drink does that mean he’s asking you on a date? You wring your hands together in front of you and you can tell he can sense your internal battle.

“Just as a friend,” He reassures, “I hope you don’t mind but Tommy told me you don’t really like goin’ anywhere anymore, and well, I just don’t think it’s right, for you to feel like you have to stay here all the time, I promise I won’t let anythin’ bad happen to you, sweet pea.”

You think back to the conversation with your therapist from last week. She’d ask you what you’d done to challenge yourself recently and you had nothing to offer her. She’s suggested that you really did need to try to start ‘reintegrating’ yourself back into the community, or there would come a time where you simply couldn’t. She’d challenged you to try going to the market on your own one day without Maria, or to go for a walk through the town on your own, just one thing before you met her next that would push you out of your comfort zone and make you realise that you could do it.

“Okay,” You agree, “But if something bad does happen, you’re taking the blame, alright?”

“If I had a free hand, I would cross my heart,” He smiles, “How about tomorrow night?”

Tomorrow night. Not quite enough time to convince yourself it was a bad idea and hide yourself away. The sooner you went, the sooner it would be over, so you nod in agreement. Joel arranges to drop by at six and pick you up and then he was gone, and your house yet again felt as empty as always. It was getting dark outside, an acceptable time to call it a night and crawl into bed.

PREV / NEXT

#pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us hbo #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x f!reader #GOY #Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller Pedro Pascal #The Last Of Us fic #The Last Of Us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fanfiction

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madhatterbri · 4 months ago

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Beautiful Things | Hangman A.P.

Summary: Hangman can't seem to quit the Jackson brothers' younger sister. 18+.

Author's Note: Sorry about the ending. 😂 I had to.

Hangman Masterlist

Taglist: @plentyoffandoms @mrsarcherofinfamy @smallestsnarkestgirl

Impure Fiction

Hangman saw Y/N standing outside her hotel room. Despite the humidity from an incoming storm, it felt like a breath of fresh air. He hadn't seen her in four long months. A bullshit suspension from her brothers kept them away. Now he was going to make up for all the lost time.

"Adam," she smiled in relief when she saw him. A flash of lightning in the distance made her appear almost angelic. She looked so happy and relieved to see him. The same emotions she felt when he walked into the arena that night.

"Y/N," he greeted. They wrapped their arms around each other. Her scent danced with his nose. She wore his favorite. His tense muscles relaxed under her touch.

"I'm so glad you are finally back. I missed you while you were gone," she smiled and kissed him. Hangman's heart fluttered. It was as if the last four months she was crazy about him like he was her. His hand slid up her back. His fingers wrapped around the back of her neck. He had to keep her with him for as long as he could. "Adam, my brothers,"

Adam sighed and pulled away reluctantly. Matt and Nick were known to walk around her room to make sure she was being a good girl. Their eyes darted towards the door and then at each other. Breathless, they both seemed to be thinking the same thing. It had never gone this far before.

"Are you sure? This will change everything. I don't think we can go back to before if you have me," he told her honestly. Sure, they had snuck behind her brothers backs for a while now. This was different, though. They would take the next big step. The last step to seal the deal on them sneaking behind her brothers' backs.

She bit her lip in deep thought. Her eyes stared at her hotel room door. All the dreams she had about this very moment were now becoming a reality. Y/N had to have him. "I've never been more sure about anything,"

The tension between them grew. Y/N grabbed the key card from her back pocket. With a simple tap, the door unlocked. Adam followed closely behind her. As if her going through the threshold would suddenly make her change her mind. Make her see that she was too good for him. Once the door closed behind them, they really knew there was no going back.

His lips touched hers as she lay in the middle of the bed. Their clothes scattered around the room. Adam hovered her by supporting himself with his muscular arms. She rubbed his arms softly and lifted her head to kiss him. Her hands slid to his chest.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked one last time.

"More than anything," she admitted. Adam lined himself up at her entrance. With another kiss, he pushed himself inside of her. They panted and moaned in their kiss. He thrusted in and out of her. Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist. Her arms wrapped around his back.

Adam bit her bottom lip and pulled gently. "God, I've wanted this for so long,"

Hrr eyes fluttered closed. She felt butterflies in her stomach. The mere thought of them ever getting to this point seemed like a fantasy. Never did she think this would be her reality. The feel of his thumb circling her clit brought her back.

"Adam," she moaned and scratched his back. He hissed at the pain yet didn't say anything. Y/N rolled her hips to meet his thrusts. After a series of moans calling out for him, she unraveled .

Adam continued through her orgasm. He cursed and stilled inside of her. Waves of pleasure coarsed through him. He leaned down and kissed her. His forehead pressed to hers as they attempted to catch their breath.

After a few minutes, he pulled out of her. Adam lay next to her. His arms wrapped around her. She never felt more loved and safe. Her head rested on his shoulder. Shapes of different designs were traced on his chest by her finger. They basked in the after effect of their orgasm until they were interrupted.

A knock on the door made them both jump. The sound of her older brother's voice could be heard. "Y/N? Can we talk? It's me, Matt,"

#Spotify #fanfiction #aew fanfic #aew fanfiction #hangman fic #hangman adam page smut #hangman adam page fanfiction #hangman adam page x y/n #hangman adam page x reader #adam page x reader #adam page x y/n

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guppygiggles · 9 months ago

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Like Real People Do, Part 4! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Casper and Avery's relationship grows. Avery comes over to watch a movie that has an unexpected *scene* for Casper. Shenanigans ensue.

☁️ Warnings: Suggestive, very romantic, STUPID gay, the tickles you've been waiting for™, classic Avery teasing -- ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

☁️ Author's Note: If you feel like I didn't go off the rails enough here, stay tuned because I swear to god, I'm just getting started~

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 *you are here

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

Avery came to visit me the night after we went to the fair. And the next. And the next.

Occasionally we'd skip a day or two, if he was working on research late into the night, or if I had after-hours systems testing at my job, but before long we had spent the equivalent of a week together. Then a month. Then two.

Sometimes I would cook for him, helping him experience all the culinary delights he had denied himself due them being “unnecessary” pleasures. He found most dry food intolerable, but he loved all kinds of soup, fruit, and especially ice cream. I made sure to always have a case of sparkling water on-hand, too, just for him.

Some nights, he would take me back to his lighthouse and we would spend the evening together there, sipping tea and playing board games on his tiny kitchen table (Avery usually won). We shared affectionate hugs and glances. Sometimes, he would touch my hand across the kitchen table as I pored over how to beat him at cards, making me lose my concentration. He always carried me home before it got too late.

When we weren't together, we texted; sweet greetings, inside jokes, photos from our lives. We playfully competed against each other for who could make the most bored face while working, or who could take a prettier sunset picture. True to his word, he also texted me when he needed things; strange mechanical parts, books about advanced scientific concepts, refills for his tea cabinet.

I let him take point and followed his lead, never initiating, allowing him to discover and express his feelings in his own time. He was shy, but he could be playful at times, too – I wasn't sure if he knew it, but his teasing flustered me out of my wits. I was fairly certain he didn't know about… that, but there had been some close calls; a good-natured nudge to the ribs that sent me reeling, or a hug that ended with his fingertips lightly grazing my sides. I recalled one incident at the movie theatre when he whispered a little too close to my ear, necessitating me to hold my breath until he was done speaking. That time, I thought I wouldn't make it.

It was autumn, my favorite season. I had not grown up around deciduous trees, and I was delighted to watch the foliage in Port Oleander cycle through a rainbow of warm hues. The sun was beginning to set as I stood in my kitchen, gently stirring a pot of homemade miso soup – Avery's favorite – when my phone buzzed.

What are you doing, dewdrop?

makin soup for you :3

Ooh, what kind?

its a surprise!!

I'm sure I'll love it.

Hey, I wanted to ask you something… Do you want me to stay the night tonight?

“Wow,” I thought. That was a big step for Avery. We'd cuddled a bit before, but not in bed, and we'd never spent the night, either. My heart beat a bit faster. What if I did something embarrassing in my sleep? Would he notice if I wasn't wearing my binder? Would he care?

I took a bit too long to answer, so he followed with:

If you're not comfortable, I totally understand.

no!! i would love for you to stay over. my beds not as big as yours but i think it's comfy.

Sounds good! I can't wait to see you, dewdrop. I'm bringing a movie to watch.

which one!!!

Hehe… it's a surprise.

can't wait💙

+++

It wasn't long before Avery arrived. As I opened the door, I grinned at the sight of him in his fall outfit. It was the first really cold day of autumn, and he'd worn an alpine sweater, a blue scarf, and jeans instead of his usual slacks. I rushed into his huge embrace, burying my face in his soft chest. He was especially tall and fluffy that day – I estimated he was about six-foot-five (195cm ♡) – which told me he was well-hydrated and full of energy. I inhaled as I nuzzled into his chest -- he smelled like cloves and old books.

“Hello, dewdrop,” he said fondly, squeezing me close to him and stroking my hair. “It smells wonderful in here." He took a seat on the couch, setting a DVD on the coffee table.

“It'll be done soon! Are you hungry?”

“Casper, I'm always hungry when you're cooking.”

I giggled, sampling the soup as I walked over to him. “Is this the movie you brought?”

“Yes, I wasn't sure if you'd seen it, but you said you liked old animated films. This is one of my favorites, so I thought I'd share it with you.”

It was a copy of The Secret of NIMH. It made sense that Avery liked it – understandably, he had a penchant for fringe science and supernatural concepts.

“Oh, I love this movie!” I had a copy of it, too, but it was in storage somewhere.

I brought two bowls of soup over to the couch. Though I was pleased with how it came out, I wasn't particularly hungry; I was too riled up, thinking about Avery staying the night. I noticed that he'd brought a canvas bag with him. I wondered what his pajamas looked like. I wondered about a lot of other things, too.

“Ahh, you scamp, this is my favorite! Thank you for making it, it's delicious,” Avery chirped, sipping the clear broth greedily. I never tired of watching him eat; the liquid entering his mouth and then being swept up in the swirling vortex of his head, disappearing in an instant. The hot soup made him steam a bit, little whips of vapor rising from his skin.

I put the movie in and turned off the light, snuggling into his side. Though his sweater was soft, I wished that I could feel his bare arm instead as he wrapped it around me. His cool fingers rested on my forearm, and I could feel the wind rushing beneath his skin.

We watched the movie quietly, every now and then making comments on the score and animation of the Don Bluth film.

“Justin reminds me of you,” I said, grinning.

“Oh, really? Hehe. He is charming, isn't he? He's just like me, for real.” Avery put his hands on his hips and struck a playfully haughty pose, just like in Justin's introduction scene. The temptation to take him down a peg was immense, but somehow, I resisted.

“Dude, you cannot pull off slang like that at all,” I said, laughing.

“Got you to giggle though, didn't I?”

I blushed, but summoned some confidence and fired back anyway.

“Pfff. Just like Mr. Ages said about Justin, you're a feather-head, too.”

Avery laughed openly, causing me to get a terrible case of butterflies as he trembled against my body.

“I can't argue with that,” he said.

We watched the movie a while longer. The scene with Jenner in the auditorium ended, and the next scene featuring Jeremy started to play. He was tangled up in his string, as usual, and was involved in some banter with the suspicious old shrew, who was admonishing him for sneaking around. She paced back and forth on screen, rigging up Jeremy's string to nearby branches and hoisting him into the air.

Suddenly, I remembered this scene. My body stiffened a bit against Avery, and I felt my ears beginning to flush. Without meaning to, I held my breath.

The mice kids were calling Jeremy a turkey, and demanding to know where their mother was. One of them jumped on top of Jeremy, clawed fingers scratching his sides as he laughed, crying, “No, stop! You're tickling!”

Luckily, the scene was over quickly. I exhaled as quietly as possible, but then, Avery paused the movie. My heart dropped.

“I've noticed something about you,” he said slowly.

“Y-yes?” I tried to sound normal. I sounded nothing close.

“Whenever this topic comes up, I observe a kaleidoscope of emotions from you. You flush, stutter, look away, squirm, and hold your breath. I've let it slide many times, but now, I'm curious. This tickling… has an interesting effect on you that it doesn't seem to have on other humans.

“I know what tickling is, in theory, but it’s a human behavior that doesn't exist in Cirropa. I'm dying to know what about it gets you so… flustered like this? And why you're so desperate to hide it from me.”

I swallowed hard, suddenly and painfully aware of every contact point between Avery’s body and mine, especially his fingers resting on my arm. How could I explain this without saying it out loud?

“Ahh, well, um… it's… I just…” I babbled incoherently. My breath came in short gasps as my fingers and toes grew clammy.

Avery shifted on the couch, turning to face me. In the glow of the TV screen, his eyes were intense, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk playing around his lips.

“I am a scientist, you know. If you don't tell me, I'm not afraid to test a hypothesis. But let's clear this up first, at least – does it make you uncomfortable in a bad way? Is it painful for you? I have a feeling it's the opposite… very opposite… but I have to be sure.”

“Ahh, errrr… no…”

“No, what?”

“No, it… doesn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way, and it isn't painful.”

“Hmmm… what isn't?”

“What?”

“What isn't painful, Casper?”

“...”

“Oh, stars. This ruffles you so badly you can't even say the word, can you? Oh, dewdrop… you know I have to try it, now.”

Alarm bells went off in my head as I felt my blush flood from my ears, to my cheeks, to the rest of my face. I scrambled backwards from Avery, but with such speed I almost couldn't detect it, he was on top of me, one knee on each side of my hips.

I screamed.

“No Avery! Nohohoho plehehehehease don't hahahahaha!”

“My god, I haven't even touched you yet! I hear you saying no– do you really want me to stop?” His smirk was huge now, and I could barely stand to look at him. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I hid my face in my hands, causing Avery to giggle.

“I knew it! Humans are so cute sometimes! Here, sweetheart, I'll give you one last out. If you want me to stop, snap your fingers.”

A moment of silence passed, my hands still firmly covering my face.

“Hehehe… Alright, then. You quite literally asked for it.”

With that, I felt Avery's fingertips light on each side of my ribcage. He started softly and deftly flexing them, gently skittering along the sides of my body.

I'd been tickled plenty of times before, by previous partners and friends. Generally, they were so excited to tickle me, so caught up in a moment of playfulness that they dug their fingers into me… which did usually tickle quite a lot, but it also hurt a bit, too, and made it difficult to enjoy.

Avery's tickling was entirely different. He was methodical, comprehensive. Playful, but gentle. His fingertips were incredibly soft and dexterous as they prodded and kneaded along my ribcage. Avery worked with delicate scientific instruments, and he tickled like he did, too; it was like nothing I'd ever felt.

“Ahahahahahaveryyyy!! Hahahahaha!” I cried, squirming beneath his fingers, my unrestrained hands grabbing uselessly at his forearms; he was so strong, it didn't seem to phase him in the slightest.

“Hehehe, you are so sensitive to this! Oh, this is so cute, Casper! If I had known you liked this sooner, I would have already played with you like this so many times. I wonder where else you're ticklish? If we go by evolutionary theory, it would probably be a vital point, like here,” he teased, his soft fingertips moving from my ribcage to the sides of my neck, his cool fingers gliding merrily along my bare skin.

I blushed so hard, I was sure my whole body must be red.

“AAAHAHAhahahaha!” I squealed, reaching my hands up to protect myself. I could feel moisture beginning to bead in the corners of my eyes. Avery's fingertips tickled so much, it was like an eclipse for my mind, blocking out any thoughts and leaving only the delicious torture of sensation.

Avery stopped, looking down at me with concern.

“You're starting to cry, are you okay?” He asked, his brow furrowed as he reached out to cup my hot cheek in his soft palm, gently wiping my tear with his thumb.

“Hehehe… I'm okay, Avery… I cry when I laugh sometimes,” I said, placing my hand reassuringly over his. His cold skin was a relief, as I was already starting to sweat.

“Hmm… if you do things like cry, and say ‘stop’ out of instinct, how will I know when you're ready for me to really stop?”

“Aheh, well… time for some vocabulary, I guess. That's called a safeword, but safewords don't always work with this, because sometimes you're laughing so hard you can't get it out. I've found it's better to tap out,” I showed him by tapping my fingers on the couch, “but it's always good to check periodically, too.”

“What other words should I know?”

“Well… there is ‘ler’, which means someone who likes to ‘teekay’ other people, and ‘lee’, someone who likes to be ‘teekayed’.”

“So… does that mean you're a lee?”

I chuckled; my turn to smirk.

“No, I'm the ‘secret third thing’ – a switch. Someone who likes both.”

“O-Oh.” Avery blushed exquisitely.

“You wanna give it a try?”

“It does seem like fun…”

My heart was pounding. “Why don't we move to the bed, then? You can't really stretch out on this couch like I can. You'll be more comfortable there.”

“Hehe… lead on, dewdrop.”

#tickle fic #tickle fluff #tickling community #casper and avery #like real people do #fluffylore #writing #my fic #romance #tickling #ocs #my ocs

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cherrycola27 · 1 year ago

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Star Spangled Seresin

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Political situations. Unrequited love, one night stand, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

Specific Chapter Warnings: Domestic Violence. Violence against women. Allusions to strangulation. Gun violence. Death. Minors DNI. 18+

...........................................

Chapter 4: Take A Chance On Me

Jaycee paced the floor of her apartment. How could she have been so stupid, so naïve? How could she have let it go this far?

Sure, Jake was a great guy, but so was Hayden. That's what everybody said. Even you had said it. "Jaycee, he's such a catch! He's successful. He's smart. He's hard working." They were all phrases that you and others had used to describe him.

Too bad you didn't know that it was all an act, a show, a well played front that he put on.

It wasn't until that night, when she had called you with desperation in her voice, that you realized the "great guy," was actually a monster.

Jaycee took a deep breath when she heard Jake knock on her door. She let him in quickly and ushered him to her living room.

Before he could even speak, Jaycee stood and faced him. "Jake, I can't do this. Us. I can't do an us." She told him. Jake's eyes went wide with surprise.

"Is this about the flowers? Because I didn't mean "love" in the romantic way. I meant it in a salutations kind of way. Like sincerely or greetings." He tried to explain. He wanted to get to the bottom of what had brought this sudden change of heart on. He thought everything was fine. Hell, he thought it was more than fine, considering Jaycee had texted him to see if he wanted to eat dinner with her tonight. He wasn't expecting a breakup.

"It's not just about the card, Jake. I don't do relationships." Jaycee told him. The truth is she wanted a relationship with him more than anything. But how was she supposed to explain what happened to him.

"I've never been a relationship guy either, but I want to try with you. We have this connection. I know you feel it. I felt it the moment I saw you walk onto that stage at that last debate. I felt it when I took you home that night. I felt it every day after you ghosted me. I felt it when I saw you again in the White House kitchen, and I feel it now." Jake said.

Jaycee stood across from him and looked at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"I'm not done. I have never met anyone like you, Jay. You're smart and kind and funny. You are a hard worker, and you're determined, and you have this fire that burns inside you that's like nothing I've ever seen before. You aren't afraid to go after what you want except when it comes to your happiness. I don't know why you run, but I don't want you to run from me. Jaycee, I'm serious about you. You have lived in my dreams and haunted my wildest fantasies since the first time I spoke to you. Hell, after our first date, I called my mom to see if she knew where my grandmother's ring was at because I knew—I know that you're the woman I'm going to marry." He tells her with gusto.

Jaycee's voice catches in her throat. "And what if I did mean that "love" in a romantic way. Would that be so bad? There are far worse things in the world than me loving you. Because dammit woman, I do love you. I don't care if it's too soon to say it. I love you. I've never cared about anyone or anything the way I care about you. And you don't have to say it back, hell, you don't have to accept it, but I do love you, and I don't want to lose you again. Don't give up on us. Don't run away from this. Let me love you." Jake pleads with her.

"I can't." Jaycee choked out through the sob that threatened to rack her body. She turned away from Jake and paced into her kitchen. She slamed her palms on the counter and huffed in frustration. Jake followed closely behind.

"Why not?" Jake demanded.

"Because the last person who said they loved me gave me this!" Jaycee screamed at him as she turned around and rucked up her shirt just enough to display the scar on her side that she had tattooed over. "He gave me this, a concussion and thirteen stitches to the back of the head before I—" tears streamed down her face as she clamped her mouth shut. She'd already said too much. "Before you what?" He asked her in a voice barely above a whisper.

His firm stance immediately softened when he saw her hard exterior cracking. Jaycee shook her head as more tears came. She tried to step around Jake, but he stayed rooted in place.

"Jaycee—please. Talk to me." Jake said softly as he took her in his arms. "I—I—I killed him." She breathed out.

"Who?" Jake asked her, unsure if he was actually hearing her correctly. She opened her mouth, but words didn't come out. "C'mon. Let's go sit and we can talk." Jake suggested. She nodded, and he wordlessly led her to the couch. Jake took a seat. Jaycee sat on the far end from him and curled her knees to her chest.

"Whenever you're ready to start, I'm ready to listen." Jake assured her. She inhaled deeply and wiped her eyes before speaking.

"About four years ago, I was engaged to a guy named Hayden Samuels. We had been dating for about a year before he proposed. We went to school together but didn't date until about two years after graduation." Jaycee began. Jake took in what she said and nodded for her to continue.

"Everything was fine at first—but then—he changed. He was angry, jealous, and possessive. I brushed it off. Close to our one year anniversary, he started to get worse. He would grab my arm too tightly. He would make passive-aggressive comments. He was too rough during sex." Jaycee explained as Jake listened.

"The first time he hit me was right around our first anniversary. I should have left then. But he apologized. He—he manipulated me. He said it wouldn't happen again, but it did." New tears formed in her eyes.

"He was methodical in what he did. He slowly separated me from my friends. Even Y/N, only letting her see the two of us the way he wanted us to be seen. He broke me in a million tiny pieces and made me believe I deserved what was happening to me. I cried the day he proposed to me because I thought that it meant he had finally changed. He didn't." Jaycee sighed.

"It finally took Y/N seeing a black eye he had given me after we got caught in a storm, and my makeup smeared. She was beside herself when she found out. She blamed herself for not seeing the signs and for pushing me to date him. To this day, I don't think she's forgiven herself for not doing something sooner (you hadn't). She helped me come up with a plan to leave him." Jaycee continued.

"I'll remember that night for the rest of my life. Hayden was supposed to be home late. He had some kind of work event. I was supposed to be able to get my things and be gone with him none the wiser. But he came home early and caught me trying to leave. He was angry—so angry." Her body shuttered at the memory.

"He told me I belonged to him, and he'd kill me before he'd let me leave him. I still tried to run, but he stopped me and slammed me into the glass coffee table that was in our living room. It cut me clean up this side and split open my head." Jaycee trembled as she continued her story.

"He picked me up from the glass and held me against the wall by my throat. He told me that he owned me. That I could never leave him. He put a gun to my head and said if I ever tried to leave, he would shoot me where I stood. I panicked, and I kneed him in the groin. I caught him off guard, and he let go of me. There was a struggled and he dropped the gun. I grabbed it, and he jumped on top of me and tried to wrestle it out of my hands and it—it—" She paused to try and regain her composure.

"It's fine. Take your time." Jake encouraged her. He had been slowly moving closer to her on the couch. He was finally close enough that he could wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I really didn't. It was an accident. Everyone agreed it was an accident. But the gun went off. Shot him in the stomach. I don't remember calling 911. I think I blacked out from the shock of it all. I don't remember calling Y/N either. All I remember is that one second, there was a loud bang, and my ears were ringing. Then, the next, Y/N, a police officer, and an EMT were all kneeling in front of me, trying to coax me off the floor while Hayden's body was being carted away. I can't still hear the gunshot. I can still see the shards of glass and splintered wood covering the living room floor. Sometimes, when I'm in the shower, I can still see myself washing his blood off of me." Jaycee finished her story as she rubbed her palms across the top of her jean covered thighs.

"I—I don't even know what to say." Jake shakes he head. He can't believe what he'd just heard.

"Now, do you see why I can't let you love me. I'm a murderer Jake. I'm a monster. How could you ever love me now that you know who I really am?" Jaycee sobs into his chest.

"You're not a monster. And in case you forgot, I had two confirmed kills in the Navy." He tells her after a long beat of silence.

"You were doing your job." She replies quickly. "And you were trying to stay alive." He tells her. "So where you." She breathes out.

There is a long pause between the two of them. A silent understanding that they had both been through things that would have destroyed most people, but they both came out on the other side of it because they were built to survive.

He cupped her face and forced her to look at him. "Jaycee Rose—I—I can't change what happened to you. If I could go back in the past and fix it, I would. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. No one should ever have to be in that situation. I can't promise you that I'll be perfect. But I can promise that if you take a chance on me, that if you let me love you, I can give you a better future."

Jake kissed her forehead and tucker her under his chin. In that moment, the wall that Jaycee had been hiding behind crumbled as she let the emotions pour out of her.

She'd never let herself be this open, this vulnerable.

Not around her family, not around you, and not in therapy. But there was something about Jake that made her feel safe. He felt like— home.

"I'm sorry for telling you that I thought it was cool that you tattooed over your scar. If I had known, I never would have said anything." Jake tells her.

"It's fine. You didn't know. Honestly, it was Y/N's idea. I got it at the same time she got her RBG tattoo. She said it would make me feel empowered. It didn't at first, but now it does." Jaycee admitted as she traced over the feathered quill and beautiful calligraphy that read "The Pen is Mightier."

"Wait. Wise-woman has a tattoo?" Jake asked. Jaycee barked out a laugh. "Glad to know that was your main takeaway from what I said.

"No, that's not all I took away. I think what you did is super cool. But—Y/N, she just doesn't seem like a girl who has a tattoo. I mean, not that she can't have them—it just seems like a lot of people in politics don't." Jake rambles.

"I get what you're saying. But if it's any consolation, her tattoo is a Ruth Bader Ginsberg quote, so it's at least political." Jaycee laughs.

"So where is it?" He asks. "Where is what?" She parrots back to him.

"Where is Wise-woman's tattoo?" He asks like it is the most obvious question in the world.

"I'm not telling you. She'd kill me." Jaycee shakes her head before standing up to head to the kitchen. She grabs a couple of beers from the fridge and hands one to Jake, who has moved to sit at the island.

"Please! I'm the vice president. You basically have to tell me. It's a matter of national security." He tries to convince her before taking a sip.

"Why do you want to know?" Jay presses as she cocks her head to the side.

"Because Rooster—er— Bradley has it so bad for her. Me knowing about it and where she has it would be the perfect tidbit of information for me to use to fuck with him." Jake chuckles.

"Bradley, has it bad for her, huh?" Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so." Jaycee muses as she takes a drink from the long neck in her hand.

"Every time we are in a meeting, I swear I could choke on the sexual tension between the two of them. But it's even worse when they disagree. I wish they'd just fuck and get it out of their system." Jake shakes his head.

"Maybe we could lock them in a closet together and not let them out until they did." Jaycee throws her head back, laughing, and so does Jake.

Jaycee finishes her drink and toss the bottle in the trash before coming to stand in between Jake's legs. She rests her hands on his thighs and presses her forehead to his.

"Okay, Jacob Thomas," She begins. "If we are going to do this, if there is going to be an us. You have to promise me something."

"Anything." He breathes out. "You have to promise me that you won't give up when things get hard or when I get stuck in my head. And you have to promise me that you'll give me space when I need it, but be there for me when I come calling." Jaycee tells him.

"I promise I'll take care of you." Jake reassures her before kissing her sweetly.

"I promise I'll take care of you too. Now, how about we head to my room and you can try to find my other tattoo, Mr. Vice President." She moans out.

Jake grins a mile wide."I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Ms. Marchetti. Lead the way."

Surprise chapter 4!

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majesty-madness · 2 years ago

Text

A Past Encounter - Bucky Barnes x reader (nsfw)

Summary: Being in a relationship with Bucky, Y/N prided herself on knowing him quite well but when she’s accidentally teleported back to 1940, Y/N discovers that there is a whole other Bucky that she has yet to meet. The sweet flirt that had everything going for him before his unfortunate capture by HYDRA.

Word Count: 3600+

Warnings: flirty 40's!Bucky, small 40's!Steve, slight angst, nothing else really (I mean it's a little sad)

a/n: I started a new job and I haven't had the time to write much before hand so I hope at least one person will enjoy this. Also I'm posting this at like 11:30 at night so I'll repost it tomorrow.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Chapter Three

First thing her ears pick up on are the sounds of cars driving on the street with the occasional honking.

Despite the aching thrumming over her body, Y/N managed to open her eyes to take in the slightly darkened room.

She kept still as she took in the environment around her; at first the familiar edge of panic shot up her spine causing her to whip up in the bed she occupied. However, the longer she stared out into the room, the more it sank in.

The small bedroom complete with a bed fitted with olden sheets and a comforter, a modest dresser sitting against a wall covered in chipped paint and scrapped wooden panels acting as the floor.

It wasn’t a dream, everything that happened last night was real.

She was in Brooklyn, New York, in the 40’s.

Once the memories rushed back to her, Y/N took a deep breath, fingers carding through her hair while her arms rested on top of her thighs.

Then she wondered what time it was so she moved her eyes about the room, subconsciously looking for a digital clock and forgetting she wouldn’t find one. Though she found a small analogous clock sitting on the nightstand that read, 8:30am.

She hummed, knowing that it was about the same time she got up every morning.

Nice to know that even in traveling through time, she kept to a schedule.

Figuring she should get up, Y/N pushed the comforter from her legs and bundled them up at the end of the bed. Then quietly, she stood up from the warm mattress and tip toed over to the wooden bedroom door. Her fingers reached forward, taking the cool metal of the doorknob into her grip, the cold almost stinging the surface of her skin as she turned it. A clicking sound resonated into the room and she pushed the door open.

Y/N peaked out into the living room, seeing that Bucky and Steve were already up and running for the day.

Jeez. It seemed that even in the 40’s, Bucky and Steve were early risers too.

Before stepping out, Y/N listened in on their soft voices talking to each other.

“You think she’ll be okay? She seemed out of it.” Steve asked, as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

Bucky, taking a sip from his coffee mug, shrugged then swallowed the contents. “I’m not sure, but she seemed alright for the most part. Besides, she doesn’t have anywhere else to go; it wouldn’t do us any harm giving her a chance to get back on her feet.”

Steve nodded in agreement.

The said woman smiled tenderly, mostly to herself, at Bucky’s words. They didn’t know each other all that well at this time, and yet Bucky was putting her needs before his own.

That was a rare gift to find in any time period.

Finally, she stepped out from Bucky’s room, quietly making her way to the side of the dining table.

At first, the boys didn’t notice her presence, however, once Y/N just a few feet from the table, Bucky straightened himself up.

“Hey, good morning.” He greeted boyishly.

Steve whipped himself around to see Y/N standing there. “Good morning.”

She shyly smiled, head dipping down a couple of times. “Good morning, you two.”

“Did you sleep well?” Bucky asked, setting his cup onto the table; deep blue eyes never straying from Y/N’s delicate figure covered in nothing but his baggy white shirt.

“Yeah I did. You were right, it did get chilly in there last night.” She joked light heartedly, trying to keep the situation less odd.

“Were you able to stay warm at least?”

Y/N nodded. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, and if there’s anything else you need, just let us know.” Bucky said, seemingly distracted by Y/N’s morning beauty.

Steve looked between the two adults then let out a cough causing Bucky to shake out of his thoughts. “So Y/N, do you want some breakfast?”

Her eyes snapped to Steve who stood from the tablwe. “Oh yeah, that’d be great. Thank you.”

He politely smiled at her, proceeding to pull out one of the dining chairs for her. She walked over and sat on the wooden material of the chair; it wasn’t exactly comfortable but she wouldn’t be sitting at the dinner table for a long time.

“What would you like?” Steve asked Y/N who had spaced out for a moment.

“What do you two have to eat?” She asked as she looked between the two men.

Bucky strolled into the compact kitchen searching for food. “We have - let me see - we got eggs, bread, oatmeal, cereal and….I think that’s all we got.”

“How about uh…oatmeal?” Y/N answered though it sounded more like a question.

Bucky scoffed with a grin. “Oatmeal? Unsure are we?”

Y/N laughed. “No, I mean oatmeal please.”

Then the dark haired man pulled out a sealed small packet of, what Y/N assumed was the breakfast food itself. He rummaged through the shared kitchen, eyes dancing over the different metal pans inside to find the one he needed.

As he began to prepare the simple meal for Y/N, she pulled her attention to Steve who had sat back down diagonal from her. “Did you sleep okay?”

There it was again, the look of startled surprise appearing across Steve’s face upon hearing her question.

She wondered, was it really so odd for someone other than Bucky to be concerned for him?

Nonetheless, he answered. “Oh yeah, I slept fine. Thanks for asking.”

“What about you, Bucky?” Y/N tested out the name, feeling a bit awkward for saying it despite having said it many times.

From what she could tell, it didn’t bother him as he stood over the stove waiting for the water to heat up, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Uh…well I slept about as well as one could on that rickety sofa.” He admitted, a small groan falling from his lips as he set his hand down to his side.

A pout formed on her lips. “I’m sorry to hear that, hopefully I won’t be taking up your bed for too long.”

“It's really not a big deal. Besides I'm the one that offered, didn't I?”

Y/N tilted her head to the side, “Well technically, you both offered your beds.”

The boys laughed at her witty comment, easing some of the tension in Y/N’s shoulders.

“That’s true, but still…” Bucky snickered, pouring the oatmeal packet into a bowl and then mixing it with hot water. “I wouldn’t worry your pretty little head about our sleeping arrangement.”

He picked up the bowl from the counter and brought it to the table, placing it carefully in front of Y/N.

“We said we’d help you out until you got back on your feet, and we meant it.” He added while taking his place at the table, across from her.

She smiled gratefully at him, and spared Steve that look as well. “And I am grateful for that.”

Bucky gave a slight nod, taking a sip of his coffee. And in the corner of her eye, Y/N saw Steve take a drink of his orange juice at the same time.

Y/N gripped a hold of the spoon already buried by the thick oatmeal and took a bite. The moment it hit her tongue, it burned and in a panic she quickly swallowed to make it go away; feeling the uncomfortable sensation of it traveling down her throat into her stomach.

Should’ve blown on it first. She scolded herself in more ways than one.

She managed to keep her distress on the downlow as neither one of the boys reacted to her searing her tongue off. Honestly, it was better that way, she already felt awkward around them.

Deciding to take another bite, Y/N first blew on the food before swallowing it, much happier that it didn’t burn her that time.

“Speaking of getting you back on your feet, do you have any other belongings with you that we might be able to pick up?” Bucky asked, thumbling the handle of his cup.

Y/N thought on it, gaze dancing about over the surface of the table. “Um…no, no there isn’t. Like I said before, that purse was all I had.”

“Well that means we’ll have to go out today and replace what got stolen.”

She quirked a brow up at the implication. “You don’t mean you’re going to replace it?”

“Well yeah..” He stated matter of factly, with a little hesitation.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” Y/N objected, her breakfast nearly forgotten. “That would be so expensive.”

Steve leaned forward, clearing his throat as he began to voice his thoughts. “But we can’t leave you with nothing to call your own.”

“The question of money isn’t a serious concern either; both of us have steady jobs so getting you something like clothes won’t be a problem.” Bucky added to further support Steve’s point.

Y/N listened to the two, becoming more and more conflicted because one, she wasn’t even from this time period so it would be pointless for her to buy things when she would ultimately leave, but she wasn’t even sure that she could leave or if she could when she’d be able to leave and if she was going to stay, she did need regular household items to live in this time.

Either way, she needed at least the bare minimum for a person to live semi-conveniently.

“I would feel guilty if you spent money on me; I’m not from around here.” Y/N still tried to reason with them, but they weren’t having it.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re from around here or not. You’re here now with us, and life can be difficult on your own so let us two gents help a pretty lady in trouble huh?” He teased confidently.

Again, the familiar heat rose to her cheeks and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. She was not used to this type of flirting from him. Back home, Bucky was much more subtle with his flirting; his self consciousness made him hesitant in any kind of romantic relationship. Therefore, to know that he was flirting in the first place, one would have to look under the surface to see what his intentions were.

To have Bucky, in a time she knew nothing about, being much more obvious in his intent was a shock to be sure.

Regardless, she shyly moved her head down to her breakfast. “O-okay…”

Once they had all finished with breakfast, Steve cleaned up the table and kitchen while Bucky searched through his closet for his smallest clothes for Y/N to wear, at least until they got to the clothing store a couple of blocks down the street.

He had handed her another white button up shirt, and a pair of brown high-waisted jeans with a belt. They were the smallest he could find, but they all soon realized that wasn’t going to work because as soon as she stepped out of the bathroom, the pants would not stay up properly.

Y/N had pulled the belt over the very last notch and it still wasn’t tight enough around her waist.

Bucky stood still, thumb resting under his chin as he contemplated what to do next. Then Steve made the suggestion that maybe a pair of his pants could fit, so he grabbed a pair and waited for Y/N to change again.

When she stepped out they saw immediately that with the coupling of Bucky’s belt, the pants did indeed fit around her waist so right after that, they left for the clothes shop down the road.

Though the clothes fit, it was clear they weren’t her’s, if the slighted stares of people walking by her on the sidewalk was any indication. Luckily, Y/N didn’t care what others thought about her clothes, she’d be wearing a different pair here before too long anyhow.

The three of them mostly kept quiet until they came into view of the shop Bucky had mentioned earlier that morning. Bucky pointed it out, and they jogged across the street to meet at the front door.

Steve stepped forward to open the door first, letting Y/N and Bucky step through before he did.

The first thing Y/N noticed was the counter with a lone bell sitting on top of it and nobody occupying the space behind it though that quickly changed as Bucky casually strolled up to the counter and tapped the bell, causing a ringing sound to echo through the small inside.

An older woman, probably about fifty years old, walked out with a pair of black glasses attached to a thin chain around her neck, and a maroon colored dress. Once her eyes set upon Bucky’s figure, she smiled brightly.

“Hello, dear, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

He smiled back at her in return. “I’ve been busy with work.”

The woman then playfully slapped his arm. “Don’t give me that, James. You said the same thing when you were in school.”

That caused Bucky to laugh while the woman looked at Steve. “Hello, Steve, dear. How are you feeling?”

He gave a nod and a much more relaxed smile. “I’m feeling alright.”

“You staying out of trouble?” She asked inquisitively while raising a brow at him.

He laughed then too, bashfully, almost like she had caught him red handed. “Mostly.”

“Oh my word, boy! You’ll worry me and James to an early grave!” She let out a laugh of her own that time then her attention was pulled to the unfamiliar young woman standing between them. “And who is this young lady?”

“This is a new friend of mine, Y/N. She, unfortunately, had her stuff stolen and is in the market for some new clothes.” Bucky explained, pivoting himself to look back at the young woman.

The older woman walked around the counter to shake Y/N’s hand which Y/N politely reciprocated. “I’m so sorry to hear that dear. I’m Irene, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Ma’am.”

“Don’t you worry, now. We’ll find you something real nice, something that..” She took a small step back to eye the baggy clothes she wore, her smile falling and expression utterly perplexed. “...will suit you much better.”

Y/N watched Bucky cough awkwardly while Steve avoided Irene’s gaze all together.

“Seriously, boys, you couldn’t have found something better for the poor thing to wear? Shame on you.”

Y/N might have laughed if she hadn’t felt embarrassed that she let Bucky and Steve let her wear their clothes.

So much for not caring what others thought.

Irene then gently grabbed Y/N by the shoulders, beginning to lead her further into the store. “Now let’s pick a nice dress for you.”

“Dress?” Y/N questioned, abruptly stopping in the middle of the store.

“Of course a dress, deary! What else would you expect to wear?” The older woman gawked at her.

Y/N eyes fluttered down to what she was already wearing, briefly gesturing to it. “These?”

Irene shook her head. “Don’t you think that sends the wrong message dear? Wearing two different men’s clothes?”

“How could you tell they were from two different men?” Y/N asked, surprised.

The older woman turned over her shoulder for a moment, staring at Bucky and Steve as they avoided looking at her sight directly, awkwardly busying themselves with anything other than the woman herself.

She sighed. “Honey, I’ve been doing this for a long time, I think I can tell when the clothes don’t match.”

“Oh..” Y/N mumbled.

“Now let’s stop wasting time and get you something pretty to wear!” She insisted, beginning to lead her towards the back of the shop again.

In the span of thirty minutes, Irene has picked three different outfits for Y/N to try on, and each seemed to fit her personality perfectly while also being shockingly comfortable.

The first outfit had been a green shirt waist dress with white flowers decorating the fabric; next there was the tan lined skirt and a white blouse, and lastly, a pale blue peplum top dress with a gray cardigan and a pair of black flats with a thin strap going over the foot.

The pale blue dress had really caught Y/N’s eye, urgently pointing to it as soon as she’d seen it hanging on one of the many racks in the store. Irene seemed to agree that it was the perfect dress since she exclaimed the word beautiful once she’d stepped out of the changing room.

Y/N took a moment to admire herself in the mirror, liking the way that the dress wrapped around her curves in a classy sort of way. She thought she looked attractive with the combination of being polite, best of both worlds.

Although there was something oddly familiar about this shopping trip. Y/N couldn’t place it.

“I have to say, you are a natural at picking out clothes, Ma’am.” Y/N complimented, continuing to look in the mirror.

“Please call me Irene.” The woman waved at hand at the formality. “Besides I should be good at this, considering I’ve been doing this for twenty years.”

Y/N grinned at the woman’s carefree attitude then let the older woman guide her back to the front of the store where Bucky and Steve had been waiting patiently.

Upon catching Y/N in that pale blue dress, Bucky nearly jumped up from the chair he’d been sitting in, eyes growing wide with awe.

“Wow, you look…” He paused for a brief second to swallow hard. “..beautiful.”

Then it hit her.

She had stepped out of the changing room inside one of the various clothing stores inside the mall, watching as Bucky’s eyes grew wide and stood straight up when his blue eyes settled on the dress she was wearing.

“Wow, you look…beautiful.”

Y/N couldn’t help the giddy grin and an excited laugh that left her. “You think so?”

He nodded, completely stunned. “Yeah, I mean, god, you’re perfect.”

“Aww, Bucky.” She stepped forward, resting her hands on his shoulders and pecked his lips. “You are the sweetest, you know that?”

Bucky raised his metal arm to the small of her back with a smile that could light up the world. “Only for you, Doll.”

Suddenly, she felt like she didn’t know how to breathe as that one memory knocked the air right from her lungs.

In the short span of less than a day, somehow she’d forgotten the reason she was here, the whole point to why she had to be getting new clothes in the first place.

She didn’t belong here, but the memory and what was happening now started to merge together in a way that made her want to drag him into her arms and never let go; kiss him until they both had troubling breathing.

Unfortunately, he didn’t know anything of what they shared together, what they had.

He didn’t know her.

Fighting back the suffocating ache in her chest, Y/N tried to convincingly show she was flattered by his compliment. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“No problem.” Bucky shyly nodded, beginning to fidget in his spot. He didn’t have to fidget for long as Irene called for his attention.

“Now, James, normally I would charge you the usual rate, but seeing as how she had her stuff stolen, I’ll take fifty-percent off.” Irene explained, writing down something on a sheet of paper.

“Well that’s awfully kind of you, Irene.”

The woman huffed. “Don’t get smart with me, Buchanan or I will charge you in full.”

Bucky raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

Irene wrote a couple more things down, then turned a clipboard towards the tall brunette. “Sign here, and here and I’ll get these wrapped up for you, Honey.” She said to Y/N, already pulling on a roll of brown paper and wrapping the outfits she picked out.

It took another few minutes eventually though, they bid the older woman farewell, not before she playfully scolded Bucky to ‘take care of her.’

Being out with a pair of clothes that fit the times actually made Y/N feel a little more at ease. Now there wouldn’t be any more random strangers staring at her like she was an eyesore.

To be fair, it did nothing to release the painful ache in her heart.

Her thoughts ran rampant on all the small things that her and Bucky had done together back in her modern time. Happiness was the usual feeling that accompanied it but today, sadness tugged at her instead.

The screwed up thing was that she was with Bucky right now, but she couldn’t be with him like that. It felt like in some way, the world was teasing her. In reality, the notion of going home was futile because she had no clue if it was possible to get back home and if it wasn’t then what would she do?

Would she live out the rest of her days in time that she had no business being in? Live her entire life in love with a man she could never touch or hold?

She knew she’d never be able to live a life that way.

But how were things going to go from here on out? What were they going to look like? She wondered.

Y/N didn’t know it, nor could she, but right now in a time far away, a single man was wondering the exact same thing.

#marvel #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes series #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader

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alias-sam · 9 months ago

Text

Pierced by a Golden Soul

Chapter 37. Dodgeball is a Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Platonic Jojo's x Reader

Summary: Fate is a bizarre concept with countless more bizarre implications. In life sometimes such extraordinary events happen that the only reasoning left must be fate. The tragedies that constantly befall the Joestar bloodline for example may be the unluckiest series of cards drawn in human history, or perhaps the work of a greater power. There is no way to tell for sure. Had Dio Brando or Jonathan Joestar moved slightly on a divergent path the world itself would be left very different. The fate or luck of the noble Joestar bloodline has led to destruction of evil likes of the Pillar Men and DIO. This story is of a similar caliber to that of the other Joestars (as I am sure you are familiar with them). This is a story of lost souls, compassion, hope, and above all fate.

Word Count: 1,928

(Crosspost from Wattpad, full fic is already posted there.)

At this point, you gave up on walking to school with Jaya, so when it came time for your morning commute you simply went. You surprisingly felt good today. Who knew two days without getting your ass handed to you by an enemy stand user could make you feel so rested? You didn't even have a nightmare last night. It was your first fulfilling rest in what felt like forever. Rain from the previous evening soaked the ground, leaving a light fog in the air. The sky was still dark and overcast, promising more heavy weather to come. As your sneakers splashed through a shallow puddle, you suddenly found your leg blocked by something.

"What the-?" There, on the wet sidewalk next to your foot, sat your oddball companion Vita. He was wearing a bright yellow rainslicker, despite there being no rain at the moment. The boy slowly turned your way, looking up at your with a glare for a moment before realizing who it was.

"Oh hi Y/n!" Vita greeted, his head tilting to the side a bit.

"Sorry, didn't..." You trailed off as you noticed Vita was holding something. "See you there." You finished, not being able to help but stare at your friend's hand. Worms. In the palm of his hand, he was holding a handful of slimy, wriggling, living worms. "Do I even want to ask about...?" Hesitantly, you pointed at Vita's hand.

"Whoops! My bad." Vits scurried over on his hands and knees to a nearby patch of dirt, and gently set the worms down. "I was saving them." He explained while standing up. "They wanted help." He whispered, tilting his head further to the side and staring at you with wide eyes.

"Whatever you say buddy." You sighed, already used to the boy's shenanigans by now. After taking a few steps down the pavement you looked back to find Vita just watching you expectantly. "...want to walk together?" You asked carefully. Vita simply nodded and ran over to match your stride.

"You look well rested." Vita chirped while you pressed the crosswalk button.

"Thanks? You too."

"Really?" Vita glanced at you quizzically. "I didn't sleep one-bit last night! The sound of rainfall is too distracting. Don't you think?"

"Not really..." You admitted, examining your friend carefully as he was distracted by passing cars driving through puddles. He looked suspiciously well rested for someone who stayed up all night. If anything, he looked better than you had ever seen him. Vita, in the time you'd known him, always looked sickly in some way. It was rare to see him without dark circles under his eyes, or a bandage somewhere on his body. His skin, which usually held an unhealthy bleakness, looked warmer and healthier. He seemed more alive overall.

"Ready for this afternoon?" Vita asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" You asked dumbly.

"Aren't you are coming over?" Vita reiterated slowly.

"Oh!" Crap. You completely forgot agreeing to that yesterday. Vita was giving you an intense and serious look, the kind of look that spelled 'If you say no I'm going to kill you'. "Of course!" You laughed nervously, doing your best not to cave under the pressure of Vita's stare.

"Cool!" Vita suddenly smiled. "My Umi insisted on making you dinner, so I hope you have an appetite. She's making Koshari."

"Sounds wonderful V." You breathed in relief, glad to be free of Vita's angered expression. It was surprisingly intimidating. You now understood why nobody at school messed with the guy more than once. Before you could continue to school, you realized your walking buddy was no longer by your side. Looking back, you found him stopped stock still in his tracks. "You okay?"

"You started calling me V." He whispered, a mix of confusion and wonderment floating across his features. "I need a nickname for you."

"Oh no..." You mumbled, facepalming.

"Is something wrong?" Vita frowned.

"No." You groaned. "I already have a nickname but it's really dumb." You briefly uncovered your face, only to find Vita watching you pleadingly. Finally you sighed, caving from the pitiful expression. "Awhile back my friend Jaya started calling me Jojo."

"Jojo..." Vita tested out the name and smiled. "I like it! Jojo suits you."

"Great..." You grumbled in embarrassment. The two of you parted ways after reaching the courtyard, agreeing to walk to Vita's house together after school.

...........

PE class, in your eyes, had always been a cruel and unusual punishment. For some odd reason, your school required all students to serve a one year sentence in the class in order to graduate. So here you unfortunately were.

You hated days like this. Days where it was too wet to go outside so the coaches locked you in the gym, dumped a container of balls in the middle of the room, and told you to have a field day. The beautiful and chaotic art of dodgeball has one simple objective, dodge the ball.

The crack of cheap rubber balls hitting the brick wall behind you rang out like cannon fire. To the opposing team it wasn't a game, it was war. Meaning, you were going to die. Or....at the very least, walk out of class with a bruise or two. Maybe this was why you hadn't died fighting an enemy stand yet. It didn't matter if you were an outcast, loner, Star football player, nerd, geek, or just a plain student. Nobody was safe. In this battle, there were those who limped out of class sobbing, and survivors. It was evil, it was cruel, and it gave the most savage side of your peers some time to shine through.

At this point, three rounds had gone by. So far you had been hit in the shin, ribs, and shoulder. The hit from round one made you trip, skinning you knee in the process. Round two knocked the wind out of you. And round three left you with a sore spot on your shoulder. It was a wonder you were still well enough to endure one final round of torment. It was a miracle when you managed to be one of the last five men standing.

You managed to keep your eyes on the opposing team the whole round, but your luck had to run out eventually. As you were sidestepping a poorly pitched ball, you failed to notice you walking right into the crosshairs of a strong armed upperclassman.

The next few moments happened in perfect, succinct sequence it would be impossible to replicate. The stars aligned for you today. Just as you noticed the ball sailing in the direction of your face, a hand reached out and caught it. The catch was so close the smell of rubber wafted across your face. You stood frozen in shock at the turn of events.

"Thanks." You murmured breathlessly, still gazing straight ahead at the ball that had been barely an inch from giving you a broken nose. Looking up, you found the familiar and reddened face of Lennia Heart.

"No problem." She replied, quickly hurling the ball back to the other side of the room.

.....

Your team wound up winning the final round of the game. As your classmates quickly ran from the gym upon class change, you lagged behind, having some trouble with your bookbag. You couldn't help but scratch your head when you found the strap of your bag was completely missing. There was no way it could have come off on its own, it had to have been cut. For a moment you were worried someone had been rifling through your bag, but after a quick check, you found everything in its rightful place. During that same check though, you oddly found the metal shard among your school supplies. You didn't remember putting it in your bag yesterday, but with everything that happened, you wouldn't put it past yourself to have forgotten doing something as simple as that.

"Everything alright Y/n?" Turning around, you were once again face to face with the student council vice president. Lennia stood over you, looking curious. Her platinum blonde hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She had also changed out of her PE uniform into a black skirt and plain white blouse.

"Yeah, everything's fine." You smiled, picking up your bookbag. "By the way Lennia, you definitely saved me from another trip to the nurse's office. So really, thank you."

"It was nothing, my instincts must have kicked in." Lennia looked away, pink dusting her cheeks. As you were situating your now strapless bag in your arms until something fell out. Lennia gazed down at the object strangely. It was the bag containing the metal shard. "What is that?"

"Nothing." You momentarily panicked, scrambling to pick it up. "Don't worry about it." Lennia managed to reach the bag before you did. Out of panic and a lack of time to think you grabbed the girl's wrist. "Don't." You ordered sternly.

"Oh..." Lennia stared into your eyes, too encapsulated by the feeling of your hand to notice she was unconsciously clenching her fist. "Ow!" Lennia suddenly dropped the bag in favor on cradling her now bleeding palm.

"You okay?" You looked down to find the metal shard had cut through the bag and sliced the girl who was holding it.

"I'm fine." Lennia breathed, examining her small wound.

"No, that's bleeding a lot. Here." You motioned for her to wait a moment. In a matter of seconds, you retrieved a small first aid kit from your backpack. "Lucky I started carrying this around." You laughed, taking out a Band-Aid.

"Y/n..." The words caught in Lennia's throat as she watched you place the bandage on her injury.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I really can't afford to lose this." You quickly picked up the metal shard and put it back in your bag.

"What-" Lennia started, but you fixed her with a hard look.

"Don't worry about it." You insisted while walking towards the exit. "Trust me, you're better off staying out of it."

"Y/n wait!" You stopped, turning back to Lennia. The girl suddenly became bashful, unable to meet your eyes. "C-can we talk sometime?"

"I thought we were talking right now?"

"W-we are, but...I wanted to talk about something personal with you." Lennia paused. "Privately."

"Sure." You shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you about something as well."

"R-really?" Lennia's eyes lit up as she looked up at you expectantly.

"I wanted to ask about the whole rumor going around about you and I dating."

"Oh! That..."

"I just wanted you to know I have no idea who started it, but it wasn't me. I genuinely hope it isn't causing you any trouble."

"Right." Lennia looked away to hide her disappointment. "It hasn't caused me any trouble." She assured you.

"Great." You breathed in relief. "I really didn't want to hurt you Lennia." The girl went completely rigid as he face got redder.

"Y-you got my name right..." Lennia murmured quietly to herself with wide eyes.

"Well I hope we can move past this, maybe we could become more than just acquaintances." You gave the vice president a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Certain events recently have taught me not to judge people too quickly." You thought back to when you first met Vita and Tim. "I think maybe the two of us can be friends someday."

"Right...friends." Lennia sighed.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to get to my next class." You apologized while heading to the gym's exit. "See you in literature class."

"S-see you then." Lennia waved sadly as you left. After you were out of sight she looked down at her bandaged palm and frowned. It didn't hurt anymore. Curious, the girl slowly ripped off the adhesive and examined her palm.

The wound was gone.

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accirax · 13 hours ago

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Oh yeah, I should tell you someone put up a playlist of double greetings that get purchased and posted to youtube. Be sure to check it regularly for updates!

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-zCAWYLWAhgP-oVAOQY-CeJ8MdAbxhiO&si=mnWMd_ixvWkLVdit

Here's my fav from it - https://youtu.be/bRpx5sUooAw?si=r6IWBBMEfnRPghG2 <- THESE are the kinds of greetings I wanna see! Where All-Stars contestants, or contestants from separate seasons who have *never* met or talked much finally get the chance to.

Oh yeah, here's some more individual ones:

https://youtu.be/GLIf8WwvlIg?si=worrOiB4soqjl0ZO (according to one comment this is a Rui Kamishiro costume? Correct me on this-)

https://youtu.be/oRAq93UIEQk?si=5UY5hHKOBg3XuP83 (still waiting for someone to quit beating around the bush & ask either of them what their situation is)

https://youtu.be/poFh1LiG5wA?si=JCG1oX9V8MIcK8ax (Damn, poor Jake was getting ghosted by everybody! 😂 (also what's a stem major-) Perfect opportunity here to fulfill Dan's wish and buy a double greeting~! (*cough* with Alec or Drew or even Gabby) )

https://youtu.be/RYsrkVeoT88?si=Ao9dkCk3d-UHUe4f (Glad someone brought this back~! It was deleted for a while)

https://youtu.be/nLkks-hMht4?si=ohA1dTZUpdGTWaQZ (This was pretty much already explained in the recent episode of Nick Reacts but I'm happy it was confirmed here too (BTW you should totally start watching Nick Reacts if you haven't already, it does sprinkle some additional lore here and there on top of being entertaining)

oh, nice!

youtube

aww, that was really sweet! honestly, it makes me wish that one of the spinoff series was dedicated to showing life at the Loser's Motel instead of either the staff or tomjake. (although, both of those served their purposes decently as well.) it makes sense that some of these characters who spent a good portion of their DCAS time in the Motel together would be friends-- especially two as kind as Tess and Ashley-- but since we didn't see it, it's still kind of a "wait, what?"

also, does Tess know Will? or is Ashley just saying she should introduce them? and how good is Ashley at gaming...?

youtube

that is a Rui-inspired costume! it's from the mixed event Never Give Up Cooking, and his card A Sudden Trial-- a card which I have B) (i actually pulled on that gacha wanting to get Toya or Kaito, but i won't complain...) of course they had to dress Alec in a Rui costume before asking about his hypothetical feelings about other men. as i always say, "you can't spell fruity without Rui." (/j)

definitely a shipper bait greeting on the whole, but i appreciate getting the timeline on his and Cheryll's relationship as well. if only we knew for sure how old Daniel was. then we could figure out how old Alec was when he and Cheryll tied the knot...

youtube

so, i guess it was math that Alec was teaching Fiore in the DCAS finale! i sort of assumed it was English-- y'know... because of Alec's whole deal...-- but i guess we already know that Fiore is capable of reading some pretty intense literature for her age, so she probably doesn't need much help in that department.

and, the comic collection comeback! i wonder if Alec being a fan of comic books was always in the cards, or if all of this has just snowballed from Alec saying "quirk" in the superhero episode. either way, the more we learn about Alec liking superhero media, the funnier it is that he had no powers in the superhero episode. buddy, you missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

youtube

felt on the "bad at texting" part-- i always want to send messages to my friends, but i can never come up with anything to say. RIP Jake, though. at least he had Miriam?

apparently, in a spanish greeting, Dan said he was studying physics engineering. i bring this up because i was trying to figure out if "just living with my parents and watching DC" was literal, or if he's also being a student at the same time. he would be 21 as of DCAS, so if we assume that he started college at the average time (~18 years old), he'd only be 3 years into his degree. probably still a student, then. no shade if he wasn't, i was just trying to figure out if he was a victim of the current job market.

a STEM major is someone whose (college) major falls within the fields of Science, Technology, Engineering, or Mathematics. in the US, at least, these majors are generally considered more favorably than others by authority figures, due to being "of actual importance," "guaranteed to get you a job," and other mantras along those lines. if Dan is studying physics engineering, then he's also a STEM major in his parents' footsteps.

youtube

for some reason, when he said "love triangle," i assumed it was going to be between Jake, Tom, and Aiden or something. too many love triangles to keep track of in this show. anyways, confirmation that Nick isn't into gamer girls.

Believer is a pretty vocally demanding song (dude is basically just screaming), but i think Nick did a pretty good job with it! i'm sure Deric was struggling trying to pull it off while keeping up his British accent, lol.

youtube

ah, thanks for the reminder to go back and watch NickReacts! i watched the first (and maybe second?) episodes when they came out, but i forgot to go back and check for more. i'll probably put that on next time i need something to listen to while drawing :)

... that being said, i, uh. don't think you're going to make more than an investment broker through your youtube channel, buddy. maybe if you placed better in DC1 😅

#disventure camp #disventure camp spoilers #dcas #dcas spoilers #tess disventure camp #ashley disventure camp #alec disventure camp #fiore disventure camp #dan disventure camp #nick disventure camp #ask tag?????

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mellowthefairy · 1 year ago

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Dark Scorpions

I wanna geek out over some more of my Yu-Gi-Oh dungeons and dragons campaign that I've made, since I likely won't go too hard in actual sessions.

______________________________________________________________

The Dark Scorpions

The Dark Scorpions, traditionally in the card game, is a small series of DARK Warrior's that didn't do too much within the metagame, save for Don Zaloog and Chick the Yellow seeing niche play early on. However, in the world of Kanon, they aren't as much of a joke.

The group is actually bigger than the initial archetype we have in the card game, or at least it was back in the day. The Dark Scorpions is the name given to a band of graverobbers who reside in the Golganda Desert, doing what they do best: robbing graves. Members of the group come from all walks of life, coming together in hopes of finding great treasure and hopefully profiting from a successful haul.

The party in my campaign have actually already came across an ex member already, a goliath woman named Thekia. She was once a member, but left after meeting a pirate named Potato, choosing to stop her robbing activities to settle down with him and start a ranch together.

As bad as the group sounds, they aren't without morals. They only rob graves of royal families, disapproving of those who try to steal from the more common folk who've perished. Likewise, they don't steal from the living, only the dead, and will actually go out of their way to help travelers in the desert.

However, the group has slimmed down over the years, and have decided against staying in one large camp. After all, they are still wanted criminals, so splitting up was in their best interest. The camp that houses the members of the archetype we all know and love are stationed somewhat north of the town of Littleroot, choosing this location because the secretive temples guarded by the Gravekeepers is not too far, making for a nice big potential haul if they can infiltrate and get inside the temples. Potential big loot from ancient rulers that worshipped secretive gods? Count them in.

Now that we've learned more about the group, I'm gonna dig a bit more into the members of the camp, where each came from, and what they specialize in. ______________________________________________________________

Don Zaloog

STR: 16 DEX: 18 CON: 15 INT: 15 WIS: 16 CHA: 17

Brabrim Nursk, or as he now calls himself: Don Zaloog, is a human from the port town Porkanto. His parents are shipwrights, and Don was someone who enjoyed watching his parents work. He was an adventurous kid, and since they lived in a port town stationed in the desert, he got to accompany his father and mother out towards the Gunma Forest across the country often to collect wood and other supplies from neighboring towns.

However, if there was one thing he despised, it was the lack of authority, or rather the lack of authority OVER the authority. One man he hated most of all was the self proclaimed Mr. Volcano, the mayor of Littleroot. Since Littleroot was a town his family would travel through often, Don was always greeted with the sight of abusive power and blatant racism that Volcano thrived in. It was constantly seeing this abuse and mistreatment of power that drove Don to hate royalty and those in the top 1%, and from this he was one of the founding members of the Dark Scorpions.

Don is the leader of his camp, the one who makes the plans and makes sure it gets carried out with as minimal casualties as possible. He isn't one who enjoys jumping straight to conflict, and would rather try his best to talk his way out of situations. However, if push comes to shove, Don is willing to lay his life down to make sure his group doesn't get harmed. His preferred method of fighting is a mixed bag of both ranged and melee, as he's both proficient with the two pistols he wields and capable of going hand to hand with most people, even trained guards and foot soldiers.

______________________________________________________________

Cliff, the Trap Remover

STR: 14 DEX: 16 CON: 16 INT: 15 WIS: 16 CHA: 11

Cliff Pamal is a human originating from the town of Everguard, and knew Don when his family would travel to Everguard. Don and Cliff grew to be good friends, and shared a similar distaste for the upperclass, with Cliff being someone who grew up in the slums and was often looked down by nobles who'd travel through his port town.

Cliff is a crafty individual, having to steal and hide to survive; a textbook rogue. His main expertise was removing traps and scouting, which makes him a valuable teammate. He would often be one of the first members to go out to a hit, scouting and noting how many guards there would be, and if he is able to get close enough, get his team in by simply unlocking or busting any traps or locks that stood in their way.

He has one other crucial connection to the team, that being that he's Meanae's older brother. It was him who notified Don of his sister and Grog, who lived in Littleroot due to Cliff and Meanae's parents splitting up and moving. If it wasn't for Cliff tipping off Don about the other two, then the team would be both smaller and without two vital members of their team.

______________________________________________________________

Meanae, the Thorn

STR: 9 DEX: 16 CON: 14 INT: 16 WIS: 15 CHA: 17

Meanae, as previously stated, is Cliff's sister that was split from him when their parents divorced. Cliff stayed with his mother, but Meanae went with her father to live in Littleroot. There, although she wasn't a tiefling and thus didn't feel the wrath that Volcano's racism brought to the horned humanoids, instead had to witness the horror and anger that the tieflings who lived there had to go through and deal with. She was also a victim of several tieflings lashing out and taking their frustration out on her and other more defenseless inhabitants of Littleroot.

She made a crucial friend in the town, befriending Gorg. He was able to help keep Meanae safe, and even gave her the spiked whip she utilizes as her weapon of choice. They're like siblings, and looked out for each other at all times as they grew up. With Gorg acting as a bodyguard to her, she tried to repay the favor by using her smarts and smooth talking to help him get education, teaching him basic school teachings that he struggled to understand.

Meanae is the smartest member on the team when it comes to book-smarts, and is a big people-person. She knows how to persuade others and get information out of those that might know something they don't. When it comes down to it, Meanae may not be the strongest member, but she can help get whatever the team needs for knowledge and can hold her own in a fight when it comes down to it.

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Gorg, the Strong

STR: 20 DEX: 16 CON: 16 INT: 9 WIS: 12 CHA: 9

Gorg is your typical meathead, but don't sell him short. As both the strongest and tallest member of the group, he's the one to turn to when push comes to shove, capable of crushing boulders between his hands, and bending sharpened swords and axes in half.

Gorg grew up in Littleroot in a relatively large family. He was the youngest of his siblings, but also the dumbest of them all. Due to some sort of birth defect when he was growing up, his brain couldn't fully develop and thus he struggles retaining and learning information. Due to this, his siblings would tease and bully him, so he did what he could: fight back, growing strong enough to protect himself. As he grew older, he met Meanae, helping to save her and protect her. He viewed her as the sibling he should have gotten, and did whatever he could to make sure she was safe.

When Don recruited him as a package deal with Meanae, he was pleased that none of the other members teased him or berated him. Instead, they followed Meanae's lead and helped him out, with Don and Meanae both helping to teach him new things that he should know. He enjoys their company, and has no qualms with murdering anyone who dares to hurt his dear friends.

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Chick, the Yellow

STR: 9 DEX: 14 CON: 14 INT: 11 WIS: 10 CHA: 11

Chick is the newest member of the group, and also the youngest. He met Don in Porkanto, and nearly begged him to take Chick with him. Don agreed, and took Chick under his care. Despite him not providing anything in particular special, he is the fastest member of the team, and thus is usually the one to quickly take treasure and escape while the rest do their best to keep him safe.

Chick saw Don many of times while he was growing up, and Don's craftiness and leadership really spoke to Chick. Although Chick doesn't have any sort of grudge against the top 1%, he's mortified to hear what the other's would see and deal with, and wants to do his best to help the team in their endeavors. But he struggles often, dealing with a form of imposter syndrome and second guessing his abilities often.

Although he can't really fight, he uses a wooden hammer that he made himself, only really using it to help him make a quick escape. He may be small, and he may be weak, but regardless the team loves him and will do whatever they can to keep the young one alive and teach him what they can.

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Well, I got to nerd out about these 5, so I guess that's about it! :D

oh woops I think I dropped this-

#dungeons and dragons #yugioh #yugiohdnd

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shiftingparadise · 2 years ago

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Feitan x Reader: Much better

Hi guys, this is just a quick drabble I finished today 🥺 I thought it would be nice to write Feitan like this for once. It's just a soft and fluffy story. The beginning's a bit angsty , but nothing too serious 🤍

I'm also working on your requests of course 🥺 the next one will be another part of the Noble Reader series 🥰 . Enjoy reading!🤍✨

Word Count: 2145

‘P-please, I-I don’t know anything. M-my dad would never talk about work’, tears streamed down your cheek. You were scared, so scared. You already crawled to the wall, being there is no other place to run or hide.

You never imagined, not even once, that you would end up as a hostage. Especially not at the hands of the Phantom Troupe. Your dad always made sure there were at least 5 bodyguards with you, and every single one of them was the best of the best. He should’ve known though that they weren’t a match for the Phantom Troupe, and he probably did. He just didn’t care enough to keep you safe.

‘Let’s just kill her, it’s not like that old man is going to pay us any money for her. Greedy bastard’.

He’s got a point. The protection your father gave you was more out of concern for his public image than to protect you anyway.

‘You really think our boss would be okay if we killed her? You’re an idiot, Uvo’. ‘Not again’, the blonde sighed into his palm, ‘Uvo, Nobu. Now’s not the time for one of your petty fights. Solve it later’.

‘H-huh?’, you batted your eyelashes when you saw a strange figure hovering over you.

Red hair, a tear, and a star… He looked like a magician with the card between his skinny fingers.

‘Maybe not strong enough for my liking, but you would make a pretty little plaything’. ‘P-plaything?’. ‘Hm, I’ll even teach you a trick or two, if you behave’. The strange-looking man squatted, his eyes studying every part of your body.

A shiver ran down your spine when one of his cards greeted your cheek.

‘Bet I can arrange something with Chrollo… Or maybe not. Either way… You caught my att-‘.

‘Phinks may be busy with fighting idiots, but I’m still here’.

‘Relax, I’m just playing’.

‘Move’.

Honestly, what was even going on? Two men were fighting, one running behind them to stop them… Then there was this magician who called you a ‘plaything’ - whatever that means - and lastly, this dark-haired mysterious figure who barely talked.

‘Get up’.

‘Let me go! I told you I don’t know where he keeps his money’, you desperately tried to break away from the dark figure.

‘Hm’, Hisoka chuckled when he saw the way you fought back like a hopeless little deer, making it even more amusing for him to watch.

---

Was that the first time you met Feitan? It had to be… but it felt so long ago.

‘Boss called. Be back in the evening’. ‘Can’t wait to clean after you in the middle of the night’, you pushed the plate of food further from you. ‘Care to repeat yourself?’.

Ah, there it was again. The cold edge of a knife against your throat. It used to faze you, to scare you, but not anymore.

‘Do it’, a trembling wish you had for the past months, was just within reach. ‘Won’t kill you, you know that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you. Remember what I told you’.

Oh, you remembered. How could you forget? ‘Disobey me and your family will pay the price’. Right, blackmail 101.

You flinched when you felt his hands tangle in your hair, his lips brushing over your ear, ‘Can still give you to Hisoka. Bet he’s worse than me’. You didn’t respond. The thought alone had you shaking. You didn’t know why, but you’d rather be Feitan’s prisoner than that magician’s.

‘J-just leave’. ‘Hm’, Feitan smirked, a devilish look in his eyes, ‘You’re lucky boss needs me’.

Finally. A sigh of relief once his hands moved away from you.

‘Get up’, he roughly pulled you away from the chair you were sitting on, ‘Room, now’.

Room? The ‘room’ he kept you was barely large enough to fit the bed he’d got you. At least he had the decency to get you some books to read. Every now and then he would get you a new one - if you behaved, of course.

---

You grunted when you heard him opening the front door.

3.30 AM? Great.

You sighed at the thought of cleaning up the blood from his floor, praying he didn’t bring someone to torture in his basement. You couldn’t take it anymore, the screams.

You pulled the covers over your head. Maybe if you pretended to be asleep when he unlocked your door… It worked before, once. If you were lucky…

‘Home’.

Tell someone who cares.

‘Y/N?’, his footsteps drew closer to your bed.

Don’t tense up, he’ll know you’re awake. Relax.

‘Hm’, he softly hummed when his hand gently grazed over the sheets, as to see if you still were where he left you.

A smile on your face once you heard him close the door. You could relax, go to sleep again, and escape the hell you were living in.

‘Hm?’, you drowsily looked over your shoulder once you could feel someone laying down next to you. It didn’t take you long, however, to jump out of bed once you realized what was going on.

‘What?’.

‘What do you mean ‘what’? Get out of my bed, Feitan!’. ‘Your bed?’, he chuckled, ‘If it weren’t for me, you’d been sleeping on the ground’. ‘If it weren’t for you, I’d still be at home, with my mom and sister’.

Not again. You didn’t want him to see your tears, to see what he did to you.

‘Wrong. You’d be begging Hisoka to keep his hands to himself’. ‘Am I supposed to be grateful?’, you shrugged in disbelief, ‘Get out of my bed Feitan’.

‘It’s me or Hisoka, you can choose’.

‘Fuck you Feitan, I’d rather be with Hiso-‘.

‘Won’t tell you again’.

Your eyes widened in fear when you felt his body against yours. It was only now you realized that he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

‘Bed, now’, he easily tossed you on the mattress, his aura angrier than ever.

‘Why? Why do you want to sleep here?’. By now, your voice was barely a whisper, your heart racing with adrenaline.

Did you even need to ask? You knew why he wanted to sleep in the same bed as you. You knew this day would come. The day your tears and pleas weren’t enough anymore, when he didn’t enjoy breaking a finger or two, or running a hot needle over your stomach.

‘Why?’, you repeated yourself once he sat down on the other side, his back facing you.

‘Curious’, he sighed before laying down underneath the sheets, ‘Never slept in bed with someone’.

Great, now you felt sorry for the psychopath that tortured people for fun.

‘If you touch me-‘, ‘Won’t touch you’, Feitan replied before laying down on his side, his back facing you.

You hesitated before laying down next to him. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move. Your mind started to race. You didn’t trust him. What if he was going to kill you? You didn’t dare to close your eyes, let alone go to sleep.

It was around 7 AM when Feitan finally got up, when you finally could breathe again. You felt so scared this night that you didn’t dare to make a sound or lay in a different position, but neither did Feitan. In some way, it felt as if he was just as scared.

---

Weeks passed, and somehow Feitan made a habit out of sleeping in one bed with you. He never touched you though, not even on accident.

‘Strange’, you frowned when you saw the time, ‘4 AM? He never stays up this late if he isn’t working’.

Were you seriously worried? God, you were a mess. You weren’t only worried, but somehow it felt strange to see his side of the bed cold and empty. Was it because he wasn’t as much of a jerk over the past couple of weeks? He did get you a nice, fluffy blanket…

‘Shit’, you laid on your back, staring at the ceiling, ‘Can’t believe I’m doing this’.

You angrily threw the sheets off you. You were mad at yourself, so unbelievably mad.

‘He isn’t out, so the door should be unlocked’, you tiptoed to your door. Your heart jolted when you felt it was, indeed, open.

Within seconds, you were standing in front of the door next to yours. Since all the lights were out in the hallway, you knew he wasn’t ‘working’ in his basement, or showering for that matter.

Your hands were shaking. You shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t be out of your room without his permission… but you were worried, right?

That’s what you told yourself anyway, but you weren’t worried. You knew he didn’t leave the house. For some twisted reason, you just found it hard to sleep without him lying next to you.

You carefully opened the door, a thin stripe of light greeting you. With one eye, you scanned the room.

Reading? He was… Reading?

‘Didn’t tell you to leave your room’, he lazily flipped the page without looking at you.

He didn’t sound angry or threatening, giving you the courage to fully open his door.

‘I-I know, I j-just-‘, ‘Stop stuttering, don’t waste my time’.

You looked at the ground, cheeks burning in shame.

‘C-can I sleep here?’.

‘Huh?’, Feitan widened his eyes.

‘Got used to you lying next to me… I guess’. ‘Fine’, he placed his book on his nightstand, already laying down on his side.

Feitan’s room was a little bigger than yours, but just as plain and boring. He did, however, have a soft light burning, a light that radiated warmth and safety. Not the cold, harsh light you found in hospitals and schools, and in your room.

‘T-thank you’, you quietly replied before laying down next to him. In response, he turned off the light, covering the room in darkness.

You didn’t know what was happening, but without thinking you scraped your throat, preparing yourself to talk.

‘Which book are you reading?’.

It took a moment for Feitan to respond, as if he was debating whether he should.

‘Dictionary’. ‘A dictionary?’, you frowned. ‘Want to improve my language skills. First language is Chinese’.

That explains why he talks in short sentences.

‘O-oh okay’, you were too scared to ask anything else.

You were cold. Why was his window wide open in the winter?

‘You’re shaking’. ‘Sorry, I’ll go sleep in my room’, you replied, not wanting him to get angry. ‘No, you can have this’.

You didn't move to look where he was going when he got out of bed.

‘Here’.

You froze when Feitan pulled the sheets away from your body.

‘Soft and warm’, he gently placed another soft blanket over your body before pulling the sheets back over you.

You tried to stop yourself from smiling, but the gentle gesture wasn’t something one was used to from him. A sad feeling filled your chest when you noticed he once again was laying with his back to you.

‘Feitan?’. ‘Hm’.

Stupid. You were stupid, you knew that, but you wanted this.

‘Would you mind holding me?’. ‘H-huh?’, now Feitan was the one who froze. ‘Please?’.

Why? Why were you asking someone like him to hold you? The solitude he put you in must have gotten the best of you. That must be it, right?

‘Okay’.

He slowly turned around before awkwardly laying an arm on top of the blankets.

‘You can touch me. You don’t have to place your arm on top of the sheets’, you smiled at his innocence. Who knew someone like him could be this squeamish about holding you?

‘Okay’.

It took him a while before pulling up the soft blanket he gave you and letting his arm rest on your waist. Almost immediately, you shuffled closer to him, already melting underneath the warmth of his body. It has been ages since you felt a kind and human touch.

You hummed when you felt his bare body against yours. ‘T-this not hurting you?’.

His voice sounded kinder like this. You shook your head, already tired of how relaxed you felt.

‘Never held anyone’, he whispered, ‘But feels nice’.

Yes, you definitely pitied him. You couldn’t agree with the choices he made, or what he called ‘work’, but was it strange to be like him if you never felt the warmth of an embrace?

‘Hm’, you smiled, intertwining your hand with his and bringing it to your chest, ‘It feels nice, Fei’.

Fei. You were the first, ‘normal’ person to call him that, and it sounded so much better when you said it.

Feitan closed his eyes, a content smile resting on his face. He loved your scent; sweet like honey.

‘Can get used to this’, he whispered, too quiet for you to understand, ‘Much better than the scent of your burnt flesh’.

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spiderlilyserendipity · 3 years ago

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Places to Go

Hello everybody! Apologies for my surprise hiatus LOL but I'm back now <3 Here is the first part of the one-shot series I've been working on for a few months called No Time for Love. The plot is rich girl!Y/N going on arranged marriage dates with the BTS members. This is part 1, Seokjin's part.

Genres: smut, fluff

Tags: CEO Kim Seokjin, sir kink, tying oc with a tie, hand kink, hard dom! seokjin, rich girl! OC, brat! OC, Seokjin is a hard dom that values consent!!!, thigh grinding, lingerie, aftercare

Warnings: Seokjin uses some mean language (slut), manhandling, unprotected sex (be safe IRL!), age gap, oc is 23, seokjin is 28.

WC: 4126 (4.1k)

It’s almost like your father knows exactly what you get up to on Friday nights that he always sends you on these dumb arranged marriage dates. If not for risking your credit card being confiscated, you wouldn’t even be sitting in this stupid five star waiting on tonight’s date.

The only bright side of tonight is you have somewhere fancy enough to wear the sultry, v neck dress you bought ages ago. You’re sure whichever chaebol bastard that’s going to walk in through the door is going to ogle you, and frankly, you would too. The wine red is eye-catching but sexy, and the ruby set of stud earrings and pendant you’re wearing make you look innocent enough to deceive. You’re sure you will be able to talk your way out of another date, you have always managed to.

You have always known marriages are about power and not love to the wealthy. It’s why you never go out on double dates with your friends on weekends, giving the excuse that you’re “catching up on lectures” despite never missing a single one. You don’t have a man, and you like it like that. You’re a free spirit, only 23 years old and too hot to be tied down by any rich man trying to buy you off your parents in exchange for status. And from the little your parents have told you, tonight’s date is likely an older man. He’s the CEO of an entertainment company called BigHit, but you don’t know much more than that. You just hope he’s not some old fuck in his 50s or something, though you’d like to trust your parents to not do that to you.

But damn, does your anger go out the window when you spot the man walking in.

He’s tall and handsome, looking like a Greek god in his three piece suit. His hair is swept back in the signature colon haircut, but unlike the other chaebol heirs you’ve seen, he actually looks good in it. So good in fact, that you nearly mistook him for an actor. If this CEO is this hot, how fucking hot are his employees? You wonder.

Now this hunk, I could consider marrying. You put on your most charming smile, getting out of your seat to greet the man. If marriage wasn’t a hoax, obviously. “Oh goodness, you must be Kim Seokjin-ssi. Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You gush.

You have done this a couple dozen times since last year, when your parents decided you were “marriageable age”. You know how it goes. You go heavy on the acting, playing dumb and annoying, until the rich man who’s been oggling you decides you’re too stupid to make carry his kids. Little do they know you study at one of the most prestigious colleges in the country.

Usually at this point, you get a non-subtle ogling by the man, and a disappointing look of you’re dumber than your parents said you were. But Kim Seokjin just smirks at you, not even glancing down at your plentiful cleavage. Unexpected, but you’ll entertain his antics with joy as long as you get a taste of him by the end of the dinner date.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N-ssi. Let’s have a seat.” He gestures at the table you were waiting at. You sit down hesitantly, pouting internally. You’ve never had a guy ignore you outright like this. Maybe it’s because he’s five years older than you, a bit mature for you. Or maybe he has a secret girlfriend of his own, and you won’t have to do much work tonight at all. Or even better, maybe he’s single and not interested in marriage but would be willing to hook up. You like that idea best.

“Does this work?” Seokjin asks politely. You snap back to reality. Seokjin is staring at you, holding a menu. Beside your table, a waiter is standing holding a notepad.

You have no idea what Seokjin wants to order, but you decide to go with it. “As you wish, Seokjin-ssi.” You flirt openly. Under the table, you cross one leg over the other, intentionally nudging Seokjin’s leg with the front of your heel. You know he feels it when his eyebrow twitches, breaking character for just a second. You hold back a smile, but you can tell he sees the triumph in your eyes. Tonight will be an easy score for you.

Seokjin turns to the waiter and tells him to order steak and spaghetti, a decent enough order for dinner with a stranger. You put your elbow on the table and cup your cheek with your hand, grinning at him. “You have excellent taste, Seokjin-ssi.” You drawl.

Seokjin scoffs openly at you. You arch an eyebrow.

“Sure do, darling.” Seokjin drawls back, making you grin wider. He’s flirting back, 100% sexually and none of the blushy crushy lets-get-married-because-our-parents-said-so bullshit. The more you look at this guy, the more you like him.

But then, Seokjin kicks your foot under the table, hard enough to make you uncross your legs. Seokjin chuckles at the shock on your face. He leans in, and you mirror it. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N-ssi. I know you’re a smart girl.” The praise makes a shiver run down your spine, and Seokjin nudges your leg under the table. You shiver again as the cold leather of his dress shoe runs down your calf, and then the shoe comes to sit between your heels.

With that, Seokjin puts his performative smile back on. “So I hear you’re attending a very famous college. My cousin went there actually.” He tells you, like he isn’t fucking with your head right now.

You clench your jaw. “...I do.” You don’t entertain the talk about college anymore. None of your previous blind dates had been as prepared as Seokjin, none of them even looking up your name online. They all only focused on trying to marry you as soon as they could, getting their hands on the wealth that belongs to your family and making it theirs.

Seokjin smiles languidly at how annoyed you are. “Isn't it a bit early to say ‘I do?’” He teases. If he wasn’t so sexy, the corny joke would’ve made you roll your eyes. But since he is sexy, it makes you blush a little, and he definitely notices.

“Actually, I don’t intend to say ‘I do’ to you at all.” You clarify bluntly.

Seokjin shrugs. “Me neither. You’re a bit immature for me.”

You scoff. “And you’re a bit mature for me.” You spit back.

Seokjin doesn’t look bothered at all by that comment. “You like it.” He retorts simply, not defensively but like he’s stating a fact. Under the table, his shoe runs up your calf again. You push your chair back, about to get up. But Seokjin’s foot pins your right one down, not hard enough to hurt but as a warning. “Are you leaving? We haven’t even had dinner yet. It would be a shame to let you go without getting to know each other.” Seokjin gives you a deceivingly innocent look, making you sit down again.

At this point, you know two things for certain. One, you are never getting married. And two, you are taking Kim Seokjin home and riding him like a damn rollercoaster tonight. You hold your tongue, staring daggers into Seokjin as the waiter returns with your dinner. Seokjin smiles and makes small talk with the waiter, bluntly ignoring the look you’re giving him.

“I guess I should stay a reasonable amount of time to not embarrass you.” You say pretentiously as you pick up your fork and knife. “Even though I have better things to do.” You mutter.

Seokjin sets his fork and knife down with a clatter. You bite back a smile, then look up at him. For the first time tonight, Seokjin looks irritated. You knew you would get under his skin eventually. It’s a talent of yours.

A muscle in Seokjin’s jaw feathers, looking dangerous in the restaurant's dim lighting. “Like what?”

“Oh, you know how it is.” You stick your nose up at him, looking down at him. “Places to go, people to meet.”

Seokjin cuts a piece of steak for himself, chews it for a long moment, then looks at you. This time, the look in his eye takes your breath away. He looks angry, and damn, he is a 100 times sexier like that. “Do you have a boyfriend, darling?” He asks lightly, in a quiet voice that’s just a bit louder than a whisper.

You smirk. You try to cross your legs under the table, but Seokjin separates them again, knocking your right foot hard enough that the ankle hits the wooden leg of your chair. You wince, then glare at Seokjin. Oh, you are going to make him pay for that. “I don’t.” You answer tightly.

Seokjin doesn’t entertain you anymore. “Eat quickly.” He says simply. Something in your belly stirs at the order. And for the first time tonight, you listen. But spoiler: it won’t be the last.

🖤🖤🖤

Seokjin keeps his hand on your waist as you exit the restaurant. He gives a noncommittal smile to the nosy receptionist who asks if you’re a couple, then takes your hand and leads you to the elevator that takes you to the hotel upstairs.

“Booked this for me, Seokjin-ssi?” You tease him when the elevator doors close. Seokjin’s hand tightens on your waist.

“I had a business trip.” He answers, roughly pulling you backwards as another couple gets in one floor above you. He waits until they’re gone to look you in the eye. Then, he grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger. “Ever done anything like this before?” He asks. You nod. “Colour system or safe word?”

“Colours.”

“Tell me.” Seokjin says sternly. You roll your eyes.

Seokjin’s hand drops away. He takes a step back, pulling a set of keys out of his back pocket. Noticing your confused look, he smirks. “What? If you’re not going to behave, I should drop you home, shouldn’t I?”

“You like it.” You try using the line Seokjin used on you at the restaurant.

Seokjin smirks. He walks forward, forcing you to take steps back until your back is against the cold metal walls of the elevator. “I like brats who know how to read the atmosphere. You’re not stupid, Y/N, just stubborn.”

“Seokjin--” You say, whining.

“No. I won’t touch you until you verbally give me your consent.” Seokjin says, entirely serious now. “Tell me what you want, what the colours are, and make sure you know the title you are to call me by.”

You sigh. “Green is for ‘I’m okay’, yellow is to make you stop a specific activity or to pause, and red is to end the scene completely.”

Seokjin’s hand cups your cheek. His dark brown eyes bore into yours, completely sincere for the first time tonight. “Can I do that to you, Y/N?” You tell him yes verbally. He leans in and kisses the side of your neck in reward. You gasp a little. Most people go for the lips, even in a scene like this. But Kim Seokjin is built differently. “Good girl. My title tonight is sir, understood?” Seokjin tells you.

You nod. “Yes, sir.”

Seokjin’s expression turns cheeky again. He smirks down at you. You wish you could resent how big and tall he is, but you know it’ll feel that much better when you have him towering over you in bed.

The elevator dings, sliding open to reveal the VIP floor. Seokjin takes your hand, guiding you down the hall to the room. He holds the door open for you, letting you enter first. But when it’s shut, he drops the act entirely.

Seokjin takes your face in his hands and pushes you back against the wall, kissing you with an intensity and depth you didn’t expect from someone so hot-and-cold like him. Usually with guys like him, they’re all talk but Seokjin doesn’t bark, he just bites. And he bites hard.

You whimper as he tugs your bottom lip between his teeth before pulling back. You are both blushing, Seokjin’s ears are red from the deep kiss. But he doesn’t look embarrassed. Instead, he looks at you like you’re his prey. And damn, is that ever affecting the spot between your legs.

“Wrap your arms around my neck.” Seokjin orders. You listen, yelping when Seokjin grabs under your thighs and pulls you up. You wrap your thighs around his waist as he kisses you hard, gripping his wide shoulders. His muscles tense against you as he carries you to the bed, and you can already feel a slight bulge forming beneath you.

You try to reach for him, but Seokjin smacks your hands away, manhandling you onto your back. You hear the rustling of fabric, and then one of Seokjin’s large hands pinning your wrists behind your back. A second later, you feel a slightly scratchy material press against your wrists. His tie. “Colour.” He demands.

“Green, sir.” You say quietly, no longer bratty. You know what comes after pissing a dom off: punishment. You might be a brat, but you do it because you like being put in your place. And Seokjin knows, too.

“Such a fucking handful when we were in public, but so easy to handle after a little kiss.” Seokjin presses his chest against your back, whispering in your ear. You whimper, and Seokjin tightens the tie. “Move your fingers, is it too tight?” He verifies.

You obey. “No, sir. It’s good.” You reply obediently.

Seokjin puts a hand to your throat, pulling you up into a kneeling position roughly. You jolt as Seokjin spreads your thighs by slotting one of his own between yours. “So much cuter like this, darling.” He compliments you, running his hands up and down your sides. You shiver. Then, Seokjin tugs the front of your dress down, making your breasts fall out the front. You’re wearing a lacy, wine red bralette that’s easy to remove (just in case tonight’s date was hot), and Seokjin notices.

“Quite the playgirl huh, darling?” Seokjin mocks, tugging the bralette down too. He chuckles in your ear when he notices your nipples are already hard. He takes one in each hand, thumbing at the already hard pebbles. When you are late to answer, he slaps the side of your breast. You moan. “You should be grateful I’m taking my time to unwrap you and not ripping this dress off altogether, but you can’t even answer me properly.” Seokjin growls in your ear.

“Y-Yes sir. I-I am a playgirl. T-Thank you for not ripping my dress.” You answer, arching your back as Seokjin presses a wet kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder. You can’t help but grind down against Seokjin’s thigh, causing him to stop and slap your other breast. “Next time it’ll be your ass.” He warns, before pushing you face down into a pillow. “Ass up.” He orders, and you scramble to present it to him. Seokjin watches you rub your face against the white pillow, fighting the tie binding your arms to get in position for him. He sits down behind you and just waits, enjoying the sight of you struggling.

As soon as you’re in doggy position, Seokjin flips the end of your skirt up, revealing the matching wine red panties. “My slut must like red.” Seokjin comments like he’s talking about the weather.

“N-No sir.” You correct him. Your favourite colour is actually purple. You haven’t drank at all tonight, but it’s been a while since you subbed during a hookup so your mind is a bit foggy. Not to mention, Kim Seokjin is firmer than any dom you’ve had before. “M-My favourite colour is purple.”

“Talking back now?” Seokjin asks, smacking one ass cheek. You wriggle, and he pulls you backwards by the hips. You still completely as you feel the material of his dress pants under your exposed thighs, and Seokjin’s hard cock pressing into your abdomen through them. Seokjin hooks his hand in your hair and pushes it to the side opposite him. His finger drags in the spot behind your ear, down your neck. “Should I make your ass purple instead of red then, if that’s what my slut wants?”

“N-No sir! Please, no.” You wriggle in his lap. You have a lecture on Monday, you’re doomed if you can’t sit properly then!

Seokjin stops. “Colour.”

“Y-Yellow.” You reply.

Seokjin’s dom persona fades immediately. “What was too much?” He asks you, cupping your face. You turn your head sideways in his lap, looking up at him.

“D-Don’t want bruises.” You beg. Seokjin chuckles at how cute you are, then kisses your cheek.

“Okay. Is everything else okay, or do you wanna safeword out of the punishment?”

“No...I want to take it.” You answer, pouting up at him. “Want you to show me my place.”

Seokjin takes a sharp breath at how obediently you speak. He shifts under you, making his erection press harder into you. “Yeah baby?”

“Yes please, sir.”

Seokjin nods. “Is fifteen spanks okay, or do you want lower?”

You shake your head. “T-Twenty please sir.”

Seokjin laughs, now slipping back into his persona. “Like my hands that much?” He asks, holding up one large hand for emphasis. To be honest, you stared at his hands the entire dinner. They are shaped beautifully, fingers long and strong looking.

And well, it’s not like you can lie now, bent over his lap. “Yes. Want them on me, sir.”

Seokjin smirks at your obedience. “Count.” With that, the first two smacks are delivered, one to each ass cheek. You force yourself to lay perfectly still, not arching back or wincing against the impact to prevent getting more added. You might’ve asked for twenty, but any more than that and you’ll be too sore to come. “So filthy.” Seokjin growls, delivering four more, making your ass burn from the impact.

You count up, voice growing shakier and eventually breaking at the twentieth spank. Seokjin’s hands come to soothe your ass. “Colour.” Seokjin checks again.

“Green, green. Mm, please.” You grind down against Seokjin, no longer able to hide your arousal. You sigh as Seokjin pulls you up and turns you so you’re sitting on his lap. Seokjin runs a thumb over your bottom lip and you open your mouth automatically. He sticks his thumb inside, allowing you to swirl your tongue around it. “C-Can I suck you off sir?” You ask when Seokjin takes his thumb out.

Seokjin answers you by slipping that same finger under your panties and rubbing it against your clit. You shake under his touch, throwing your head back to moan. “As much as I’d like to do that, I have meetings tomorrow and need my beauty rest. It’s late enough and I still have to drop you home.” He looks down on you like you’re a hassle. It makes you grind down against him and he smirks. “Is that the right way to ask to be filled up, darling?” Seokjin asks.

“Please fill me, please!” You plead, and Seokjin smiles.

He makes you stand up in front of him. He takes his shirt, pants, and boxers off. You stare greedily at his cock which stands tall against his abdomen. It’s thick and long, not particularly veiny but completely solid, the head the same shade of rouge as Seokjin’s lips. You watch as Seokjin opens a bottle of lube and puts a considerable amount on his cock, working it up and down so you will be able to take it more easily.

“See something you like?” Seokjin teases, before tugging your panties off with his other hand. You come closer, and he helps you onto his lap with his hands on the backs of your thighs. Other than that though, Seokjin lets you do all of the work.

Seokjin lines himself up to your entrance and waits for you to take his length. It takes you a moment due to its thickness. Seokjin distracts you by biting at your neck, collarbone, and the tops of your breasts, leaving harsh, purple marks on you. “You said your favourite colour was purple, didn’t you?” He laughs at you, before sitting back to watch you slide down the rest of the way.

You scoff, and Seokjin smacks your ass. “Hurry up, darling. I’ve got places to be.” He grabs your ass, making you whimper against him.

You set a moderate pace, trying to avoid hitting your ass against his thighs. Seokjin knows, so he starts thumbing at your clit to rile you up. “Ugh, sir!” You complain, picking up your pace. You moan as Seokjin spreads your ass wider, allowing more room to fuck into you.

You gasp as Seokjin takes over, starting to fuck into you hard. He lifts you up slightly, changing the angle that his cock rubs inside you. You fight the tie holding you back, wanting desperately to rub your clit. “S-Sir, my clit!” You moan.

Seokjin smacks your ass again. “Still making demands? Either come on my cock or not at all.” He tells you.

You moan at how mean he’s being, but pick up your own pace. You try to push him back against the bed with your body, wanting to ride him but Seokjin’s chest is as muscular as the rest of him and doesn’t budge.

“Sir, sir!” You moan, not caring how loud you’re being anymore. You can feel your orgasm building, but you know you can’t reach it fully without your clit being stimulated.

“Want me to rub your stupid little clit that bad?” Seokjin growls back in your ear. He pushes into you even further. “When all you are is a disobedient little slut?”

“No! I’m your slut, please?” You beg him. “Please, sir! Please. I’ll be so good, fuck—”

Seokjin pushes you down into the bed and pauses just long enough to get a pillow and shove it under your hips. Then, he picks you up by the thighs and starts fucking you harder than you have ever known. “Gonna mind your fucking manners now?” Seokjin demands, smacking your clit with one hand.

“Yes, yes! Sorry sir, I’m really sorry! You can do anything you want to me, please.” You beg him, desperate to come.

Seokjin bends down and kisses you hard, pressing your tongue down with his own and swallowing up all of your moans. He kisses you so hard you forget your own name, and everything but the sensation of his cock rubbing right against your g-spot. Finally, his hips start to stutter and his thumb comes to rub rapidly at your clit. You arch your back, moaning into his mouth but Seokjin doesn’t give you permission to slip out of his control for even a second. Seokjin pins you down, thrusting all the way into you. He moans into your mouth the same time you moan into his, and you come at the same time he fills you up.

Seokjin unties you, and you collapse with him on top of you. You dig your hands into his hair as payback for the rough treatment, although you definitely loved it. “Fucker.” You call him, making him laugh against your shoulder.

“You liked it.”

You can’t lie, you did.

🖤🖤🖤

“Keep in touch?” You joke when Seokjin drops you off. It’s past midnight when you get home to your apartment, smelling of Seokjin’s body wash and hotel shampoo. Seokjin isn’t a soft dom by any means, and certainly not the type to keep in touch with a one night stand from what you’ve seen. But despite that, Seokjin’s aftercare was thorough, so gentle it could convince a girl he meant it. But you’ve had your fair share of nights like these, so you know better. But hey, the last time you teased him you got one of the best fucks of your life. So what’s a little more for the cherry on top.

Seokjin is intelligent and perceptive, knowing what you mean. He laughs self-assuredly. “Nah. Just remember me every time you sit down for the next few days.”

“A real romantic.” You scoff, grabbing your purse and getting out.

“You know it, darling.” Seokjin winks, waving you goodbye with one hand, the other still snug on the wheel.

You watch his car drive off, then penguin-walk your ass inside to the elevator. One hell of a man, that Kim Seokjin. You told him you had places to go, and he sure as hell took you.

Requests are open <3 I plan to post the second part in the next few days!

#bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic #seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #seokjin x oc #seokjin x y/n #seokjin smut #bts series

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randomshyperson · 4 years ago

Text

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your lost - Part I “I will grieve”.

Serie Masterlist here || Part II|| Read on AO3

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, hurtful behaviors, domestic wanda.

Chapter warnings: Heavy angst, death.

Author’s notes: Hello readers! I'm finally back to posting something, but I disappeared for a good reason, I was writing three new series. And here is the first of them. I really enjoyed this work and it's something I've been trying to write since I watched WandaVision, and only now I've managed to put it into words. I am not finished yet, but there is only one chapter left, so your reading will not be affected. Pay attention to the warnings, and good reading!

Tag list (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch

//-//

Chapter One - I’ll grieve.

You wished you could go back to sleep as soon as you opened your eyes. The sound of your alarm buzzed loudly throughout the room, and after putting it on snooze mode at least four times, you finally got annoyed enough to grab it and throw it across the room. But the sound continued.

Letting out a grumble of dissatisfaction, you pushed the comforter off you, and sat up in your bed. Your room was a mess, but you just skipped through the clothes on the floor to reach the phone, turning off the alarm through the new crack you made in the screen.

"Honey, are you up?" you heard your mother's distant voice calling you through the door, probably from the living room or the kitchen. "Don't forget your therapy today."

You sighed impatiently, running your hands through your hair. The damn group therapy.

Grumbling lightly, you forced yourself to take a shower, not wanting "poor hygiene" to end up on your progress report card.

A while later, when you were finished, you went into the kitchen. Your mother was using her laptop on the counter, and just waved at you.

"Are you going to take me?" You asked her with your hands in your pockets. Your mother took her eyes off the screen to evaluate the sweatshirt you were wearing, and you rolled your eyes at her disapproving expression.

"You know, you could try driv-"

"Mom" You cut her off in earnest, your heart racing momentarily. You don't drive. An she knows. Your mother sighs, putting her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"It was just a suggestion dear." She retorts as she stands up, reaching for her car key on the key rack exiting the kitchen. "But I'm busy with the store, you'll need to take the subway next time."

"Thanks for the support." You grumble as you step out in front and your mother lets out a wry chuckle.

You frown and let out a dissatisfied exclamation as you step outside feeling the sun's rays on your face.

"You're not a vampire, cut the drama." Mocks your mother by pushing you lightly to get you out of the way.

You grumble as you walk to the car. And when you are sitting on the seat, your mother is starting the vehicle and she asks:

"Are you sure you're not going to eat anything?"

Looking out the window, you just mumble that you're not hungry, and she shakes her head in disapproval before you back the car up. You don't speak any more on the way.

//-//

Your mother dropped you off in the parking lot of a gymnasium where the therapy group would be meeting. You sighed as you got out, and thanked her for the ride and the money she gave you to eat, even though you probably weren't going to use.

Resisting the urge to run away, you forced your feet to walk toward the place.

There were a few people at the door, but you didn't smile at any of them, entering the place with your head down and your hands in your pockets.

And then a woman greeted you, and put a little sticker with your name on your shirt when you gave her your papers.

Then she signaled the way you should go, and you ended up on the gymnasium court, where there was a wheel of chairs, and a table with food and drink, and several people scattered around, who you thought were part of your therapy group.

Sighing impatiently you made your way to the bleachers of the venue, hoping to be alone until the session started and you could leave.

Fortunately it wasn't long before the leader signaled for everyone to sit in the circle, and you sighed as you stood up. You ended up with one of the chairs on the far left opposite the therapist, which could be bad since he would see you clearly.

"Thank you very much for coming." Said the therapist smiling gently as his gaze roved over everyone in the circle. You kept your gaze on your shoes. He made a noise with his throat. "Who would like to start today?"

The silence lasted for a few seconds, but then someone was speaking. You forced yourself to come back to reality and pay attention.

"[...] and this is my fourth week around here." Said a woman in a leather jacket. You noticed the army lanyard around her neck. She was talking about an accident when you got distracted again. Lightly poking your eye with your finger, you tried to focus again, letting out a low sigh. And then the therapist was talking again.

"We have new faces today." He said and you felt your heart speed up. You absolutely did not want to talk in front of strangers. "Why don't you share with us, miss?"

You raised your gaze to meet that of the therapist, smiling gently at you. The rest of the group looked at you as well. Taking a deep breath, you began to wiggle your fingers on your leg.

"I don't... I've never been in a group." You say clumsily. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you wish to say." He answers with a smile. You swallow the urge to tell him you didn't want to talk at all. Realizing your lack of response, he is quick to add. "Why don't you tell us why you are here?."

You let out a dry laugh.

"I really didn't have much choice." You retort wryly. The therapist looks slightly surprised, but makes no mention of interrupting you. You let out a sigh before clarifying. "My psychiatrist, she...she didn't approve of my social ratings. She wanted me to talk to other people. People who... went through the same things I did." You count staring at the floor. When you look up again, the group still waits for you to continue, and you sigh, running your hands through your hair. "I haven't... I... I haven't talked to other people outside of my family in six months. Not since..."

You move your head, sniffling slightly as you straighten your posture. The therapist clears his throat.

"You just need to share whatever you are ready to tell us." He says gently, you nod slightly feeling extremely vulnerable. "But remember that this is a safe space. There is nothing to fear here."

And then he is talking about methods of easing the guilt, and dealing with the pain and you were distracted again. You would like to go back to bed. It must have taken a while, but the session is finally over.

The group dispersed around the room, and you went toward the therapist's desk to have him sign your schedule. He smiled as you approached.

"Miss Y/N/L, I was happy to hear that you would be joining us today." He said greeting you with a handshake. You nodded, taking the paper from your pocket. He chuckled, but accepted it. "You know, I'd like you to try to have a partner in the group, it's recommended for cases like yours."

"What do you mean cases like me?" You ask snidely, but he doesn't care.

"Doctor Harkness gave me your chart." He explained as he signed the paper you gave him while you frowned. "Extreme Social Anxiety in the first few months of treatment. Tendency to complete isolation, introverted..."

"Yeah I know my problems, buddy." You interrupt him with irritation. "You don't have to list them for me."

The therapist gives a lopsided chuckle, and holds out the signed paper to you. But he adds with a serious look:

"I'm here to help you, Y/N." He says. "Don't forget that."

You don't respond and take the paper, turning toward the exit.

//-//

Your week passes slowly and tortuously. Which is surprising because you barely get out of bed. And then it is group therapy day again, and you are making a new crack at your cell phone screen.

Your mother greets you with a pat on the back as you enter the kitchen, and she is walking past you toward her own room.

You know you have to take the subway today, and you are trying not to think about it too much. As you are walking out the door, your eyes pass quickly over your car key, and you think you have a flash of memory, but you shake your head quickly, pushing the thought away. And then you walk forward.

And you are late for the session, because you can't take the bus to the station, since your feet simply didn't obey you. But that's okay, you don't really care.

You weren't the only one who was late. When you went to enter the door, a red-haired woman bumped into you, also running to get in. She smiled slightly as she apologized, and you just made room for her to enter first.

"Sorry Stephen." She said to the therapist as soon as you two entered the gymnasium, "I had an emergency with the kids."

The man just shook his head with a smile, and waved for you both to sit down.

"And why were you late today, miss Y/L/N?" He asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I didn't wanna come." You retorted and the group giggled, and the sudden sound startled you slightly, but you just sat with your arms crossed.

"Do you want to try again?" He retorted with light humor in his voice. And you bit the inside of your cheeks. And then you looked down at the floor.

"I couldn't get on the bus." You confessed next. Stephen looked at you tenderly, though, and you didn't like the feeling of your chest heaving slightly.

"And why do you think that happened?"

You shrugged, uncomfortable.

"I don't know. I... There were too many people." You said embarrassed. And then you started twiddling your fingers, feeling all eyes on you. "I just... I knew I'd have to say hello to the driver, and the conductor. And then I would pass strangers in the hallway, and one of them would sit next to me. And I just... I couldn't."

Stephen nodded slightly in agreement.

"It's okay, Y/N. " He stated. "No one is judging you here."

You let out a dry laugh, and Stephen blinks in surprise, which spurs you to explode.

"Everyone is judging me, Doc." You say through gritted teeth, swinging your leg. "It's as if I can hear the gears in people's brains forming opinions about me." You state with a sigh. "Like my mother for example. She...she...acts like I'm past the time of mourning." You explain with tears in your eyes. "Like there's a limit, and I'm extending her goodwill. Because it's been six months, and she doesn't want me to be sad anymore. But guess what? I don't know how to move on!" You state angrily. "I can't! If I don't miss her, what's left for me? If I don't... God, I can't do this."

And you stand up, wiping your tears away, and walk out of the gymnasium, heading for the restrooms. You feel your heart racing, and it's hard to breathe.

As you rest your hands on the sink, your brain starts to wander back to the day of the accident again. You choke, because it feels like you're sinking again. You see the water rising through the metal of the car. Your hands on the steering wheel, and then on the seat belt. You shake your head, pushing the images away, and rush to turn on the faucet in front of you and pour the water on your face.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And then there is someone entering.

"Are you okay?" Stephen asks and you nod lightly, ignoring the trembling in your hands as you stare at him through the reflection of the mirror. "I gave a break to the group, wouldn't you like to walk with me?"

"I'm not good company right now." You grumble but he smiles, nodding slightly as if to repeat the invitation. You take a deep breath before turning around.

You walk silently and slowly to the outside of the gymnasium, and then he is speaking again.

"You were very brave today." He comments, and you let out a dry laugh. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I panicked today." You say. " It doesn't sound very brave to me."

Stephen smiles guiding you through the gymnasium entrance toward the parking lot.

"You talked about a trauma to a group of people." He says. "That takes a lot of courage, even if you don't believe it."

"I don't believe in anything." You grumble, but Stephen doesn't mind your hostility. He stays with his friendly posture.

"I would like you to accept my request from before." He said after a moment. "About a group partner."

You let out a sigh.

"I don't even know what that means." You retort with slight impatience as you reach the edge of the parking lot. You notice the garden a few feet ahead of you.

"It's like a therapy buddy." He explains with a smile. "We encourage socializing here. That's why Agatha recommended this group to you."

"Oh, of course you do. Agatha is a bitch." You wryly wipe your hands across your face. Stephen laughs lightly. "How does that work anyway? Do I have to hold someone's hand? Exchange friendship bracelets?"

"No, it's much better." He says with a chuckle. "You talk to that person. You exchange experiences with them. You learn to trust somebody else again."

"My god, it looks like a fucking Disney movie." You retort with irritation and Stephen lets out a laugh. And then you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders. "Okay, I'll do it. I have nothing to lose, and it seems that neither you nor Agatha will leave me alone if I don't agree."

"We want you to feel better. Don't take this as a punishment." He says, guiding you back to the gym. You nod slightly, thinking that it really does feel like punishment anyway.

//-//

You see Agatha the same week. Your appointments have been switched to monthly meetings instead of weeks as they were at the beginning of treatment, and while you appreciate the familiarity of seeing her, you can't help but feel irritated with her.

"Someone's grumpy." She comments as soon as you sit down on the couch in the room, to which you roll your eyes.

"You are always so very tender, Agatha." You mock as you cross your legs, hoping the time will pass soon.

Agatha laughs lightly, finishing tidying up a few things on her desk. And then she gets up and sits down in the armchair a few feet in front of the sofa where you are, carrying a small notebook in her hands.

"So, why don't you tell me how your your first two sessions in group therapy went?"

You let out a dry laugh.

"Like Stephen didn't tell you everything." You sneer and Agatha just smiles, waiting for you to speak. You let out an impatient sigh, before stating wryly. "It was amazing, doc. It only took two sessions for me to have a panic attack, so thank you for that."

"Why do you think that happened?"

You squeezed your eyes.

"I have no idea." You retorted. "I'm not the doctor here." Agatha laughs lightly, and then opens her notebook and starts writing something. You sigh impatiently. “Really, you're going to start that again?”

"If you don't talk, I write." She states simply, and you roll your eyes, shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

"Agatha, I just... I couldn't get on a bus, okay?" you tell her, and she closes her notebook to look at you attentively. You take a deep breath. "There were a lot of people. I don't mind walking anyway. It helps me think."

"You don't mind walking eight blocks?" She asks with a slight irony. "That's pretty athletic of you."

"It's weird that you know my address off the top of your head." You play lightly, and she just laughs, straightening her posture.

"Why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me?"

"Why don't you ask me what you want to ask?"

Agatha blinks slightly in surprise, and then she shakes her head slightly, opening her notebook again. You sigh.

"Okay, sorry." You say, and she looks at you for a moment before closing the object again. I... I thought I was drowning again.”

"Are your nightmares back?" She asks seriously, and you deny it with your head.

"I feel too anxious to sleep." You tell. "And then I black out from exhaustion in the night or in the morning. I don't dream anymore."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

You sigh.

"Of course I have." You say. "I don't... I'm having trouble keeping my mind still. Like the first few months, you know. Everything seems so noisy now."

Agatha nods slightly, becoming thoughtful for a few moments.

"I know it may sound strange to hear that, but that means you're getting better." She declares and you frown in surprise, then let out a dry laugh.

"How is my peak anxiety a good thing?"

She opens the book again, but before you can ask what you said wrong, she is reading.

"The first day you were here, you said you felt like you were empty." She narrated and you swallowed dryly. "During your first two months, you continued to describe that you felt like an empty shell. And that you no longer had any dreams, thoughts, or opinions. Without your wife, you said you were no longer here."

You felt your eyes fill with water at the mention of her. But you swallowed your emotions. Agatha turned a page, and read for a few seconds, and then looked at you.

"With your history of anxiety, your mind was remarkably quiet after the passing of your wife." She says. "But now that you're on medication, and therapeutic treatment, plus you're socializing even superficially with the world again, you're starting to feel things again. That's progress."

You look away from her, nodding slightly, trying to believe her words, and trying not to be so terrified at the thought of learning to live again. Without Nat.

You choke slightly, holding back a sob, and then Agatha hands you a box of tissues, but you refuse with a nod, wiping away the tears that have slightly escaped.

"What do you want to talk about now?" She asks after a moment. You take a deep breath, still trying to calm yourself.

"Last week I took a cold bath." You count. "It was snowing."

Agatha blinks in surprise at the information and then lets out a giggle.

"You want me to write it in the book don't you?"

You laugh, wiping away the last of the insistent tears. You just hope Agatha could help you.

//-//

You hate coffee. But you barely slept last night, and now you need to stay awake during the group meeting, so instead of walking to the chair in the corner like you used to, you detour your way to the food and beverage table as soon as you arrive at the gym.

There are a few members around, but you don't look at them, just sidestepping as you extend your arm to the coffee bottle. You pour some, and as you touch the cup, you notice. It's cold.

"Hey sorry about that." Said a girl you thought was named Val or something, as soon as she saw you touching the cup. "We mixed up the shifts yesterday and nobody made new coffee."

You rolled your eyes, picking up the cup and throwing it in the trash. Then you forced a wry smile on the girl and walked outside.

It was cold, but you are boiling with rage. It was just a damn cup of coffee, you thought as you closed your eyes and tried to reduce your anger. Just coffee.

You stumbled with fright when Stephen called out to you.

"We'll get started in a minute." He said looking at you curiously. You just nodded, following him after a few seconds.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you noticed the same coffee girl as before, now sitting where you usually sat. The universe was testing you today.

You just sighed, twiddling your fingers inside your pocket, and walked over to one of the free chairs.

After Stephen gave the briefing, he asked if everyone was all right, and the group lied in unison. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

"I would like to choose your partner today." He says and you feel your heart racing as you straighten your posture. "But I want to know if you have any preferences."

You blink in confusion, and roll your eyes.

"I don't know anyone here, but I'm sure they will all hate me equally, doc." You tried to joke, but Stephen only looked at you with concern.

"No one does or will hate you." He says and you swallow dryly, looking away as you mumble that it was just a joke. Stephen pauses momentarily before continuing. "You know that everyone here has their own experiences of loss and they are unique in their own way, even if they have similarities." He begins and you just wish he would speak soon who your partner is at once. "Usually we don't put new members together, but with the release of one of our members, the number ended up getting odd." He explains. "Anyway, I'm sure you and Mrs. Maximoff will get along very well together."

You frowned slightly at the whole explanation. Then you looked around the group, and realized that this Maximoff woman was the late redhead from the previous session who looked at you curiously. You looked away from her to Stephen.

"Thank you, doc." You said with a slight irony and Stephen just nodded smiling.

"Partners are grieving companions ladies." He says. "We will assess your progress at each session, and then switch partners once the necessary improvement has been achieved."

You grumbled in understanding, and looked away to your lap. When Stephen began to ask about the stories, your mind wandered to the departure time.

And when the session was over you wished you could go to sleep. But Stephen made a slight movement of his head in Maximoff's direction, and you understood that you should talk to her.

Ignoring the urge to show Stephen the middle finger, you just sighed as you got up from your chair and lazily walked over to the woman at the exit. She was talking to a man, and you were even more anxious to address not one, but two strangers.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly, and both of them turned to you with mild curiosity.

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" Said the man with a smile as he held out his hand to you. "I'm Bucky. James Barnes actually, but everyone calls me Bucky." He said and you shook his hand, smiling awkwardly. Then he quickly pointed at the woman. "And this is Wanda Maximoff, your grief partner."

"Hi." Wanda said shyly as she offered her hand to greet you. You accepted as clumsily as she did.

"Sorry, I don't know how this works." You say. "Should we exchange numbers or something? Or is that just a therapy thing?"

Bucky gives a little chuckle.

"Oh believe me, they'll know if you're not making it work." He counters. "My first partner was Sam Wilson and we wanted to jump on each other's necks whenever we saw each other. And then Stephen asked us to move in together." He says and you blink in surprise. "We're married now, but that's not the point. I guess I'm getting off topic..."

"Bucky." Wanda interrupts with a smile, and he smiles half-heartedly as well. You frown, annoyed by Bucky's story. You didn't want to marry anyone. "I guess we'll make it work, I hope you don't mind having the company of two tiny restless creatures on our walks."

You look at her with confusion and then you understand, smiling shyly.

"No, it's okay." You say. "I like children."

"Really?" She asks in surprise.

You nod slightly. "Unlike adults, they tell the truth."

Wanda seemed to be thoughtful, but then Bucky lets out an exclamation.

"As group guide, I have to pass the to-do list to you ladies." He says pulling a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. He pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to Wanda. "Partners need to develop these habits of socializing and coping with grief together. And yes, there is a test."

You sigh impatiently, tucking a loose string behind your ear.

"That sounds fun." You mock lightly making them smile.

"Anyway, good luck to you two." He says tenderly. "And Wanda, call me if you need help with Tommy. I know a good therapist."

You frown slightly, not understanding what he is referring to, but you prefer to stay out of matters that are none of your business. And then Bucky kisses Wanda on the cheek in farewell and waves to you smiling before leaving. You switch foot weights when you are alone with Wanda. Talking to other people is not exactly your strong suit these past few months.

"So..." You start clumsily when she turns to you.

"So." She repeats equally embarrassed. You then clear your throat and rush to pull your cell phone out of your pocket and hand it to her.

"Give me your number." You say. "That way we can arrange...whatever this is."

Wanda smiles weakly as she accepts the device, and you ignore the curious look when she notices the cracks in the screen. A moment later she hands the cell phone back to you.

"I gotta go." She says. "I need to pick up my kids from school."

You nod slightly and force a smile to say goodbye, and Wanda copies your movement before leaving.

You stare at your cell phone next, noticing the slight anxiety in your stomach as you read the contact "Wanda Maximoff" on the screen.

//-//

By the weekend, you are miserable. Just like the first few months.

You spilled some tea under your bed, and when you went to clean it up, you ended up taking the objects that were lying there. And then you found a crumpled piece of paper.

It was your farewell speech. The words you wrote down to speak on the day of the funeral. The paper you pulled out of your pocket when you got home from the ceremony and probably fell under the bed when you collapsed on the floor from crying so hard.

Suddenly your chest tightened and you couldn't breathe. But you didn't want your mother to worry, so you concentrated on remembering the exercises your therapist had taught you.

And when the room started to get too small, you left.

But because it was cold and rainy, you had just taken a hot shower and had decided to brew tea before you finished putting on a sweater, you had bent down to pick up your socks, and the liquid fell on the floor.

You went outside without your shoes, and your mother let out a worried exclamation when she saw you standing outside, staring at nothing.

"Honey?" She asked walking out the door after seeing you through the kitchen window. "Honey, what is it?"

You didn't answer. Your face was wet. Your mother's hands wrapped around your shoulders, and she gently pushed you inside, worried that you would end up getting hypothermia.

"I'm fine." You gasped as she led you inside, but she just shook her head. "I'm fine."

"No, honey." She retorted making you frown. "You're not."

"Mom."

"Sit down."

And then there were blankets around you, and socks on your feet. And your mother was in the kitchen, on the phone, but everything seemed stuffy. You began to be absent again. Thousands of memories flashing through your eyes.

An image of yourself on that living room floor, laughing while your girlfriend had her arms wrapped around you. Your mother was pouring a glass of wine for each of you, and you were happy to tell her about your engagement.

Then an image of you running across the room, trying to dodge the tickles your father tickled you while you laughed.

Then a puppy in your hands on the floor. You looked at it fondly, laughing at how cute it looked.

Looking down, you saw a hand on your thigh. It was your wife's, the ring on her finger. She smiled at you. You were happy because that was the day you told your mother about the house purchase.

You gasped slightly when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder suddenly.

"I need you to tell me three things you can see." It was Agatha. God, you should have been out of reaction long enough for her to get here. Wiping away your tears, you took a deep breath, trying to reason straight.

"I... I..." You started, but your brain didn't seem to obey you. You took another deep breath. You could see the carpet, so you told her so.

"Two more." Agatha asked tenderly, her hand caressing your back from top to bottom.

"The... table." You replied crying. "I can see the table."

"That's right, honey." She said. "Just one more now. Tell me what else?"

"My feet." You add breathlessly. "I can see my feet."

"Now breathe with me, okay?" She asks. "Like I taught you."

The exercises help you to calm down again. You apologize for scaring your mother, and for making Agatha drive to your house, but neither of them is upset with you. You feel exhausted, but the doctor wants to talk to you after she accepts the cup of coffee your mother offers her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks as you sit on the covered porch, fluffy pillows around you.

You lower your gaze to the floor, sniffling lightly.

"I found my grief speech." You count. "Under my bed. The next minute I was outside."

Agatha sighs.

"You ready to talk about the accident."

You raise your eyes quickly, frowning, because it wasn't a question.

"W-what?"

She takes a deep breath, crossing her legs.

"It's suffocating you." She clarifies. "You need to talk or these attacks will happen again."

"I-I don't..."

"It won't be today." She interrupts with a tender smile. "Tonight you need to sleep. But we won't prolong this any longer. You need to talk about it, even if it’s only to scream."

Clenching your jaw, you hold back your tears as Agatha takes one last look at you before getting up. She murmurs that she will see you on Monday, but you don't look at her.

//-//

You don't sleep well on Sunday. And it's definitely because you can't stop thinking about your appointment.

And it goes well for the first twenty minutes. Agatha doesn't pressure you, and agrees to hear about your week, without mentioning the incident on Thursday.

There is a pause after you have told her about the dog barking noise in the early morning and then you know it is time to speak up.

"I was driving." You say softly suddenly, ignoring the feeling that your throat wants to close up. Agatha has her hands folded in her lap as she listens to you. "She...she was sleeping in the passenger seat." You swallow dryly, trying to count and not get caught up in the memory again, your heart racing. Talking is almost like going back there. "I looked at her for a moment and I got distracted... and then... we just..."

You only realize that you are crying because tears fall on your hand. You blink, sniffling. Taking a deep breath, you continue.

"We fell into the water, and Nat...she just...I couldn't get her belt off." You gasp breathlessly. "The water just...kept coming up around us. And she looked at me, and... she just shook her head like she knew what was going to happen." You tell between sobs. Agatha's eyes water, but she doesn't interrupt. "I just...she pushed me. She pushed my hands away and she told me she would follow me. And god... my dumb brain believed her!" You confess angrily. "She told me she was right behind me! And I swam out and when I came up she wasn't with me."

You shut up, not being able to tell anymore through the sobs. You can't even see the office clearly because of the tears.

It takes a moment for you to speak again, your head down.

"When I swam back, the car was completely covered with water everywhere" You recount. "I...I was going to dive again.... I wanted to get her out of there. But the people who saw the accident jumped in after us. And they pulled me out of the water. And I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted, she...she would be...."

"No." Agatha interrupts by offering you a tissue. "Natasha had a stomach injury, don't you remember?" She counters and you gasp, the words echoing in your brain. "That's why you couldn't remove the belt."

And then you were remembering clearly now.

Soft music echoed in the car as you hummed the tune and drove to your friends' house. Your wife mumbled softly beside you, making you smile as you watched the sleeping figure. The red hair in front of her face.

"Hey sleepyhead." You called softly, looking away from the track for a moment. "We're almost there."

Nat muttered in agreement. You bit your lip, thinking she looked beautiful. And then you heard a noise, and a white light in the window. You barely had time to frown when the impact threw your car off the road.

Your body tensed immediately as you sat up, looking around with desperation. The car was sinking fast and you turned to Nat.

A wound on her forehead was bleeding, and she was clearly disoriented as you touched her hands. You hurried to unbuckle her belt, but it was jammed tightly in her waist, and you gasped in shock at the wound.

"N-no." You grumbled, trying to move the metal, but Nat gasped in pain, pushing your hands away. You could barely breathe in desperation. Your feet were freezing, because the water was already at your ankles. "Babe, move please. We have to get out."

Nat advanced toward you, taking off your belt. You tried to touch her, but she pushed your hands away again, intending to guide you out.

" Sweetheart, go! Open the door! " she commanded and you shook your head, the water on your knees. Nat forced a smile, the tears in her eyes made your stomach turn. "Don't worry love. I'm right behind you."

As you opened the door, the water moved all the way into the car, and you held your breath Nat repeated the words "I'm right behind you" one more time. And then you swam out.

When you reached the surface, you were alone.

Sobbing, you couldn't say anything else to Agatha, and she proceeded to stroke your back, trying to soothe you with words of affirmation.

"I need you to remember some things honey." She says tenderly. "You couldn't have helped Natasha. She got stuck. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened." Agatha whispers to you, and you sob. "Remember the investigation, okay? The police said that the driver of the truck was drunk and hit your car after he fell asleep. It wasn't your fault." Agatha says trying to remind you. You gasp, countless memories flooding your head at once. "Say that for me, will you?" She asks and you gasp. "Tell me it wasn't your fault."

You sob, burying your face in your hands. It takes a moment, but you repeat the words.

"It wasn't my fault." You whisper breathlessly. "It...it wasn't my fault."

When you leave therapy that day, you feel different.

You think that it is the healing process that is beginning to work. You still have a long way to go, but you have the feeling that a weight has been lifted off your back, because you have started to believe your own words. You could not have saved Natasha.

There is still a deep sadness in you, but you still buy your favorite drink on the way home, and try to stay in the living room for a few hours before going to your room when you are inside.

#wanda maximoff #wandaxreader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda imagine #wanda imagines #sorry for your lost #wandaxyou

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chosonore · 4 years ago

Text

part one | oblivion

oblivion [noun. the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening around one]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 3.9k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re not strictly following the manga timeline bc while i am reading it, i do have a goldfish brain, lowercase intended

a/n: hello, here’s the first installment of my sanguine series! it’s the prequel of this drabble (nsfw) i wrote the other week while i was working on the outline of the fic. it’s a little slow burn because i wanted to spend some more time exploring their relationship and the groundwork for it, so yeah. i’ll try to update it regularly, but since i’ve only planned five parts for sanguine, it might take a while bc i want to take my time with it. if you want to stay updated with the series, i’ll post the masterlist to it shortly! i do hope you enjoy it though :) and stay safe, everybody! [tagging @sukirichi the sukuna to my yuuji, who just gets spammed when i start rambling about my aus but always screams with me (´• ω •`)]

masterlist - next

"y/n!" you look up to see miwa storming towards you, thrusting a book in your direction. "could you- could you please give this to noritoshi? i borrowed this book from him like a week ago and if i don't return this anytime soon, i think he's gonna kill me."

scowling at her, you look at the book in disdain. you wanted to avoid crossing paths with noritoshi as much as possible and miwa was well aware that you didn't like hi-

"please," miwa pleaded again, taking your hands and placing the book in it. "i'm really scared of him. he always looks like he's going to shoot me soon. even todo is pretty nice if you don't interrupt his takada-chan time!"

you sighed in annoyance, you just couldn't say no. ever since coming to the kyoto metropolitan curse tech, miwa and you had been pretty close because you strongly disliked the other students. most of them were arrogant and stuck-up, thinking they were better than the other; the two that belonged to the three clans were even worse. on your first day here you'd promptly gotten into a fight with mai, disliking how haughty she was and trying to prove everyone that she was better than them. much to your chagrin, the fight ended in a tie.

"fine, but you owe me some mango," miwa's face lit up in relief and she gave you a thumbs up before dashing to her room, most likely to escape noritoshi's wrath. you inspected the book. was it even worth returning it? maybe you could just throw it in the trash. if noritoshi ever found out, he'd kill miwa first and then you. you let out another sigh before making your way towards the training grounds. he most likely was outside to practice, either with one of the guys or alone. as you were nearing the training grounds, you could already hear the sound of arrows whistling and the dull thuds of them hitting the target. it was hard to spot him through all the trees; you weren't entirely sure where he was. your ears perked up when you heard him release another arrow until you realized that it was heading your way. this bastard. fortunately, you were able to slash the arrow clean in the middle, angrily pointing your sword in his direction. you still couldn't see him anywhere.

"you fucking idiot! you could've killed me," you snarled, stomping deeper into the forest. an amused laugh echoed through the trees.

"you're acting like i can't control my arrows. it's not my fault you let your guard down," noritoshi retorted smugly, lowering his bow as he saw you approaching. you were fuming, hurling the book at him. how dare he? you watched with satisfaction as it hit him square in the chest - who was caught off guard now, huh? he deserved it anyways.

"miwa asked me to return your book," you curtly explained and turned back around to leave but apparently, noritoshi had other plans. instead of saying anything else, he just followed you which unsettled you even more.

"stop following me."

"who said i was following you? i'm just going back to the dorms. i'm sorry you can't handle me being near you."

you whirled around, sword pointing dangerously close to his neck. he smirked at you triumphantly, it was just too easy to get a rouse out of you. "another word and i'll cut you, seriously. you're pissing me off," you gritted your teeth, hating that you always fell for his stupid games. he knew you all to well, what made you angry, what made you happy, what motivated you. once upon a time, you'd thought the same about him; until he changed so rapidly, so unlike your expectations. you were worlds apart and yet you'd reserved an ounce of hope that he wouldn't turn out to be as arrogant as the clan heads. swift as the wind, noritoshi grabbed your wrist, dragging it upwards and towards him until he could lean down to you. your heartbeat sped up - holy shit why was he so close to you - and you froze in shock.

"i'd like to see you try, princess," he whispered in your ear, the grip on your wrist tightening. "you wouldn't dare to."

the first time you met noritoshi, he was sitting outside in the garden with his mum. both seemed to have a good time. noritoshi's hair was tousled from the soft summer breeze and he had a soft smile on his face, happily munching away on the snacks that were displayed on the table. while he looked friendly enough, you were wary of meeting and talking to him because you felt kind of queasy around the kamo family. you couldn’t quite place a finger on the feeling, the older members of the family intimidating you to no end. much to your dismay, you felt like you had to be watchful - your parents worked for the kamo family, so naturally the apartment you lived in was close to the estate. you avoided any run ins with the adults, they weren’t exactly friendly to you. noritoshi’s mum had befriended your mum and they spent a lot of time together when possible. and yet you’d never met noritoshi before, seeing how busy he was with his various classes.

the fit that you threw, not wanting to tag along with your mum, was long forgotten when you’d spotted the jar of cookies on the table. before your mum could react, you pulled your hand away from hers and quickly ran towards it. “hello miss!” you greeted enthusiastically, your eyes shining at the sight of the sweets. “my name is y/n! i’m here with my mum and i uhm… could i have some of the cookies? please?” when your mum finally caught up to you, she scolded you quietly and greeted the other two, taking a seat beside noritoshi’s mum. you pouted, immediately climbing on her lap as you refused to sit next to the boy. his mum handed you a cookie which you happily took and thanked her politely. noritoshi was curiously eyeing you; it wasn’t often that he saw other children around his age and he didn’t have any friends to play with. his everyday life revolved around reading books, studying, taking archery classes and sometimes spending time with his mum. noritoshi barely even knew what fun was - he’d only ever felt at peace when he was around his mum.

“y/n, sweetie, why don’t you go and play with noritoshi?” your mum prompted but you immediately shook your head, hiding your face in her chest. she simply laughed and shook her head, brushing your hair back softly. “come on, noritoshi is really nice. you can be his friend one day, right? didn’t i tell you that friends are important?”

you frowned. then huffed. when she worded it like this, there was no way you could refuse. the cartoon that you religiously watched featured a group of friends that went on adventures and helped each other out. you’d told your mum that you wanted to be like that too! begrudgingly, you slid off her lap and trudged towards noritoshi who looked at you with big eyes. you held your hand out, waiting for him to shake it. “my name is y/n. uhm… nice to meet you,” you shyly whispered, eyes darting away from him.

it took a while until noritoshi reacted, shaking your hand gently and answering: “hello y/n, i’m noritoshi.”

much to your surprise, noritoshi was actually fun to be around with. he showed you his collection of books, the bow that he was practicing with and you often played the card game you’d received for your birthday together. he was smart and witty, often explaining you things that he’d read in a book but he was also attentive when he listened to you ramble about the other kids in school or when you told him about the cartoon that you were watching. for you, noritoshi was becoming your best friend - for noritoshi, you were his first friend. he cherished you and how unabashedly true to yourself you were. spending time with you was something he looked forward to; you always made him laugh and you didn’t care whether he lived up to the kamo family name or not. to you, he was simply noritoshi. you were like a fresh breeze of air in his life.

noritoshi didn't quite understand why the elders were always so hard on him, so strict and unrelenting. they expected only the best results from him and didn't show any understanding when he exhausted. he didn't enjoy practice anymore, the lessons becoming a chore and burden on his mind. but whenever he saw your face light up at his newly acquired skills, he thought it was worth the trouble. you came to visit him everyday after school, never skipping a day. sometimes he questioned why you weren't visiting your friends from school but you shook your head, poking his chest indignantly. "you're my best friend, 'toshi. of course i'd want to spend more time with you." noritoshi was glad you always chose him, without fail.

even though your parents had always warned you to be careful around noritoshi because his family was strict and didn't like outside influences distracting the heir, you never really strayed from his side. noritoshi didn't have any other friends, who would keep him company or listen to his troubles then? you didn't understand why your parents were suddenly going back on their word. they'd always told you that family and friends were important. you couldn't pinpoint your feelings for him - but your parents saw it. it was obvious; the stars in your eyes when you looked at him, the slight blush on your cheeks when he complimented you and how happy you were when you got to spend time with him. the more time you spent with him, the more they were worried for you.

"'toshi!" you yelled in excitement as you ran towards him, waving wildly. he dropped his bow and turned to you, a soft smile gracing his lips as he opened his arms to hug you. you squeezed him tightly. two weeks you hadn't seen him due to a school trip after which you got sick and weren't able to leave the house. you'd missed him a lot and you were excited to show him the souvenirs you brought him.

"look, i bought you an omamori!" you handed him the small object, then pointing on your bag to show him the one you'd bought for yourself. "i got myself a matching one too! my teacher said it wards off evil spirits and brings you luck." noritoshi's smile was bright, so bright. he was happy you thought of him and were always kind to him. your eyes widened as he leaned in to kiss your cheek before thanking you. the two of you were blushing, neither saying a word but not minding what had just happened.

the day noritoshi's mother left the estate was the day you were slowly starting to lose him. noritoshi grew more forlorn and didn't seem to easily find joy in anything anymore. the departure left a deep, deep gap in his heart. it had shocked him deep to the core when she left him. him. why couldn't she stay? why did she leave him when she was the only person who protected him, loved him? she did say that she was hindering his growth but who was she to decide that? he didn't want to become stronger, didn't want to protect other people like she'd told him to. he wanted to stay with her. "'toshi? 'toshi!" a concerned voice broke through his trance, pulling him back into reality. "i asked you a question! you weren't even listening to me."

you were pouting at him, tugging at his sleeve impatiently. noritoshi apologized, patting your head to soothe your temper. "what do you want to do in the future? mum said it's important to work towards your dreams!" you asked him curiously, grasping his hand to hold it. the gesture filled him with indescribable warmth, drawing him in like a moth to the flames. "my mum said i have a special power, i can heal people! i want to become a doctor in the future, so i can help everyone that got hurt," you explained to him so earnestly that he felt bad for the lie he was about to tell. noritoshi didn't have big dreams or ambitions just yet. he didn't even know what would be suitable to him - he was strictly following orders, never allowed to think for himself.

but when he looked at you, he only had one wish. "i think… i think i want to help people, protect them. especially those that i love."

with each year passing, you noticed that noritoshi was putting more and more distance between the two of you. at first you'd brushed it off as the stress of his training and number of classes he was attending. but as you spent less and less time together, the weight of the situation didn’t escape you. he was easily irritable, cold and arrogant, often rude towards employees of the kamo estate. every now and then when you’d scold him for being an asshole, he’d simply scoff at you and haughtily ask you how it was any of your business. you sighed, tossing and turning in your bed as you thought about how much noritoshi had changed. it kept you up at night, just thinking about how he wasn’t your ‘toshi anymore. you didn’t know this person. ‘toshi was always gentle and kind, he tended to overthink many things and sometimes he was a little bit of a crybaby but you still loved him regardless. you sneaked out of your room, finally mustering up enough courage to ask your mother for advice. the thought of her discovering your blooming crush on noritoshi was scaring you. your parents were wary around the kamos despite working from them - even more so ever since noritoshi’s mother left and the elders had free reign over her son.

“noritoshi! noritoshi, stop walking away from me! hey, i’m talking to you!” you yelled frustrated as you were trying to keep up with him. noritoshi was crossing the garden in long strides, it was nearly impossible to stop him as you couldn’t catch up to him. you lunged forward, getting hold of his sleeve and tugged him back harshly. noritoshi yanked his arm out of your grip, glaring at you annoyed.

“what do you want from me? i have better things to do than to quibble with you,” he hissed irritated. you couldn’t believe him, he had the nerve to dismiss you like this when he was in the wrong?

“you know exactly what i want from you! you can’t just go around and talk to people like you did before just because they’re not from a reputable family! noritoshi, you’re not any better than them just because your last name is kamo.”

as much as noritoshi scared you, you stood your ground. you knew he didn’t take you serious, not with the amused look he gave you. in the past month or two, noritoshi was suddenly hit by a growth spurt - you barely reached his shoulder now and he took advantage of that to mock you, often treating you like an armrest. he pat your head condescendingly, pouting at you in fake regret. “aw, did i hurt your feelings? did i make itty bitty little y/n sad?” he mocked you, before abruptly grabbing your cheeks to make you look at him. “i don’t care what you think of me, cry all you want. i strongly suggest you hold that sharp tongue of yours if you know what’s good. know your place.”

tears filled your eyes; noritoshi had never talked to you this way. what has gotten into him? your heart broke in pieces, unable to take the pain any longer. you were no longer his equal but below him, much like everyone else.

“mum?” you cautiously knocked at the door of her study, waiting for her response. your mother was most likely still awake and dealing with paperwork like she usually did. upon hearing the affirmative noise she made, you flitted inside, closing the door behind you so your father didn’t catch any wind of this. it was already embarrassing enough and you were sure your mother could offer you better advice. you gingerly took a seat on the armchair, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to your body. how were you going to approach this? hey mum, i have a crush on noritoshi and he’s weird to me now and i don’t know why? uh yeah mum, i caught feelings for the guy you warned me about and now i look like a fool crawling up to you like this?

“it’s about noritoshi, isn’t it?” your mother interrupted your stream of thought, spinning her swivel chair towards you.

“huh? oh no it isn’t, why would it be? i have-”

“y/n.”

“ugh okay fine, maybe it is about him,” you sighed defeated, of course she would look right through you. she always seemed to know what you were thinking, even when you hadn’t confided in her before. “but promise me you won’t judge me!” the look in your mother’s eyes told you that she was going to judge you regardless but you knew she meant well - she simply wanted the best for you.

“i- i just don’t understand why he’s been such a pain in the ass lately. and he’s been treating everyone like dirt too, including me! mum, he’s becoming someone else and i… i don’t know what to do,” you sniffled inconsolably, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. she wasn’t supposed to see you getting emotional. “he’s always busy and when we do get to see each other, he doesn’t want to spend time with me. what if he doesn’t like me anymore? and i don’t like how he’s treating you! it’s the same issue with the elders, they don’t know any human decency at all!”

your mother motioned you to scoot over a little and sat next to you, wrapping her arms around you and patting your back to console you. while she meant well, it accomplished the opposite - you broke down in tears, unable to stop your sobs. “i just want my ‘toshi back,” you whimpered upset, burying your face in the pillow to muffle the sound of you crying. “i know you didn’t like that i became good friends with him but i couldn’t help it and i just really like him and- you weren’t supposed to find that out.”

“sweetheart, i know you love noritoshi,” she handed you a tissue. “you let a lot more on than you were aware of; dad and me always knew you were in love with him.” as if on cue, your sobbing stopped and you just looked at her in disbelief. she knew. she knew. you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. “i think it was always pretty obvious, to be honest. you always looked at him as if he was your entire world and no matter what happened, you were always by his side. i know it’s hard to accept when a dear friend is changing but sometimes you just have to, right? both of you are still growing, there’s no way of telling how your personalities change.”

“but i don’t want him to change like this,” you protested stubbornly, glaring at her. she was talking about it as if it was a matter of simply discarding a bad apple in the trash. it wasn’t easy and it made you anxious. you grew up together, shared secrets and memories. he was the person you’d always looked up to.

“y/n.” your mother sounded stern but you didn’t back down, not yet. “is it really worth it? if a person is changing so rapidly and you’re not getting through to them, you’ll have to let it go. there’s only so much you can do. people grow apart sometimes, it’s only natural. you have to let go of them, temporarily, so you both can heal and grow. y/n, i know you’re being stubborn about this but you’ll have to let him figure things out on his own. fate has curious ways to bring people back together.”

when the time came, noritoshi left to attend the kyoto metropolitan curse tech school without telling you a word. you were disappointed, apparently you weren’t worth saying goodbye to. whatever his reason was, it must’ve been pretty important. important enough to forget the promise that you’d always stay in contact. you wondered whether he'd change again, for the better maybe? maybe you would reconcile when you could finally attend the school as well and train together. you were excited to show him your sword skills, having received your family's heirloom, an elegant steel blue sword. though your skills probably weren’t up to par with the other students, you still wanted to show them off, show him what you’d learned in the year that you spent apart.

noritoshi had changed but not for the better. holy shit, did he get on your nerves. the first time he'd practiced with you, you realized that he had mutated into an insufferable know-it-all. he would give you backhanded compliments or make snide remarks about your posture, how you were supposed to hold your sword, how inefficient your fighting style was. sometimes you wished you could just beat him for once and have him shut up. there was no denying though, noritoshi was way too strong and you had a long way to go. judging from the reactions of the others, barely anyone had beat him either.

and just like that, your feelings for him were buried. you’d taken your mother’s advice to heart, keeping conversations and interactions with him to a minimum but somehow noritoshi always found his way to you. he was everywhere and a quarrel was inevitable. noritoshi got under your skin and he knew how to push your buttons. why he chose to pick on you was beyond your comprehension; he didn’t pay much attention to the other students nor was he particularly liked by them. just how much was he going to get on everyone else’s nerves? out of all the second years, todo aoi was the most amicable; you had the (dis)pleasure to run into him on your first day and for some reason, he took a liking to you. while he was loud and boisterous, mostly doing whatever he wanted, you couldn’t deny that he was a good friend. even though he didn’t care about anyone as much as he cared about takada-chan. at one point, he’d looked at you in sympathy when he caught you staring at noritoshi, patting your shoulder (too forceful): “i’m sorry, y/n, i’m so sorry.”

you still didn’t know what he meant by that.

ps.: todo knows and he’s kinda judging you for your taste in men

#jujutsu kaisen #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi kamo x reader #noritoshi x you #kamo noritoshi x you #noritoshi kamo x you #noritoshi kamo imagines #kamo noritoshi imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #noritoshi imagines #fic: sanguine #writing #my writing has gotten SO incredibly rusty i literally only know how to write academic papers anymore bc that's all i do in my everyday life #it makes me speechless to see all the love on my previous sukuna fic and i'm so glad people are enjoying it #hey if you're lurking in the tags thank you for reading i really appreciate it! pls stay hydrated

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fighterkimburgess · 3 years ago

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Unintentional Chapter 17 - Nadia Mairead Burgess

Summary: Kim has her baby shower and decides on childcare plans before her daughter makes an appearance. Series Masterlist Here

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: yet more angst, childbirth, pregnancy.

A/N: Folks, if you didn't see my post on Saturday, Unintentional is now going to a once a week posting schedule. When I started this fic I had a 15 chapter buffer. I'm now down to one (and that's not even edited!). I'll move back to two a week when I've got a bigger buffer going on, so hopefully it won't be like this for more than a week or so.

Wanna join my taglist?

The day of her baby shower dawned early, Nadia kicking up a storm and Kim waking up to the thuds. She’d bought a body pillow that sometimes helped, but whenever she used it her thoughts would fade back to Jay, to curling up against him and using him as a pillow. She’d thought that by now it would have faded, that her need to have him by her side would be gone. But seeing him every day made the wounds in her heart break open a little bit each time, wanting to see him and tell him about Nadia. She knew better, she knew it wasn’t the right thing. Kim could see the way he and Hailey were, she couldn’t stand in their way.

She hadn’t known how she was going to manage everything, but she’d been told to turn up at molly’s, to bring herself and her bump and smile at everyone. Kim just agreed, getting dressed and ready to go. She didn’t want to go, not really. She’d much rather have stayed home and relaxed, but Kim had agreed to turn up for her friends.

Trudy opened the door to the bar, grinning and welcoming her in. Inside was every woman she’d worked with, Julie even greeting her with open arms. Stella, Sylvie, and Foster from 51 were there, along with Natalie, Maggie, and April. It filled Kim’s heart with joy, even as she pushed down the sadness that Will’s girlfriend was there celebrating with her, but not Nadia’s uncle or father.

They played stupid party games, diapers decorated with encouraging slogans and bets placed on when Nadia would be born and the weight she’d appear at. Foster suggested hair and eye colour, something that Trudy and Hailey quickly voted against doing with a nod from Kim.

As she opened the presents Kim’s smile grew, a large pile of clothes in sizes from newborn to nine months growing around her. As the only person who knew what being a single mother was like in the group, Nat gave her a gift basket with what she called her new mother essentials - a face mask, hot chocolate, some treats, and ear plugs for if Nadia was too loud, as well as some fluffy socks and other treats that made Kim smile and thank her gratefully.

The final gifts to open were two large boxes, carefully wrapped. Kim opened the card first, the message in Jay’s unmistakable writing making tears come to her eyes.

Kim,

None of us knew what to get you, so we decided to make sure Nadia has the best furniture she could want. Everyone’s coming around when we have a weekend off so we can put it together for you and her.

The card was signed by the entire unit, and when Kim opened the wrapping paper it was the exact crib and changing station she’d wanted sitting there. She’d only put them on the registry to get the discount to buy them hen they hadn’t been purchased, but to see them actually there and purchased was amazing. They were light wood, the crib large enough to turn into a toddler bed when Nadia outgrew it, and the changing table matched perfectly with it. It was everything she didn’t know she wanted.

The rest of the afternoon passed with pizza being delivered, everyone celebrating Kim. She felt so loved and cared for, hugging everyone as they got ready to leave. Trudy and Sylvie helped her bring the gifts out to her car, neither of them letting Kim carry anything heavier than some leftover cake. The furniture was left behind, Trudy promising that they’d bring it when everyone came to her apartment to put it together.

Being heavily pregnant in the early summer wasn’t Kim’s idea of a good time. Nadia was constantly kicking in the early May humidity, and her unit had gotten used to the random thuds from Kim’s desk as she hit off the wood. It would be almost funny if she wasn’t constantly uncomfortable. But Trudy turned out to be her saving grace, almost accidentally.

She didn’t want to go home to her empty apartment. She didn’t want to sit and watch TV and count down the six weeks until her daughter was due by herself. So instead she sat at her desk, the list of necessities in front of her. Childcare was now Kim’s number one most pressing concern.

There was a CPD daycare that she would be leaving Nadia in, but because of her daughter’s age she’d only be able to be there for nine hours. Which for most cops would be fine, but Intelligence was not that kind of unit. She didn’t want to have to give it up, but something would have to give. The nanny service that Natalie had sent her was her saving grace, and she started making a list of what she wanted.

“Burgess? Shouldn’t you be at home by now?” Kim turned to see Trudy upstairs, shrugging.

“Had a few things to do, and sitting here is more comfortable than on the couch. Trying to work out the childcare situation for when Nadia’s here.”

She passed the papers over at Platt’s urging, watching her read over the ideas. It was weirdly nerve wracking watching the woman who’d helped her become a better cop go over plans for her childcare.

“This is good. Where are you getting the nanny from?”

Trudy sat in on Kim’s nanny interviews, helping her pick the person who’d spend time with Nadia. They picked Reese, who would be in college classes during the day, wanting to make money to put herself through her social work degree. She’d already had to do CPD vetting because of her degree, and that was the icing on the cake for who to choose. She agreed to come over a few weeks before she’d start to meet Nadia, to let her get used to her and having someone who wasn’t Kim around. Having her was a weight off Kim’s shoulders, knowing that she’d have someone to take care of her daughter. It was going to be worth it.

The rest of her time was spent between going to work and home. Sitting waiting for people to ask her to run searches wasn’t her idea of a good time, especially with Nadia kicking constantly and Kim being uncomfortably warm. Adam had gotten her a USB fan to plug in on her desk, which helped a little bit at keeping her cool. Everyone in the unit was careful to make sure she was ok before they left for raids or checking out scenes, filling Kim’s desk with water and food, making sure she had lunch if they were going to be a while. The only time she had to stand up was using the bathroom, happening more and more as she got closer to her due date. Heads would lift whenever she stood, everyone checking on her until she shook her head, confirming she wasn’t in labour yet.

Finally Intelligence had a Saturday off, and at noon her apartment was invaded by everyone. The self proclaimed Men Of Intelligence - everyone except Hailey and Trudy - brought the boxes of furniture up from Jay’s truck, ready to put it together. Kim smiled as Hailey and Jay arrived together, her best friends grinning and so excited for her baby. It made Kim even more sure about her decision. Hailey hadn’t said anything about dating Jay, but it was so clear to Kim that they were together, the easy intimacy between the two. It was the same way Hailey had been with Adam before that relationship was revealed, and Kim just smiled each time. With Vanessa undercover, the two women had become closer and closer, supporting each other knowing exactly what their job was like without help.

Kim arrived into the nursery to see the five men attempting to put the crib together, nearly dropping the pizza and beers she was bringing in. Adam and Kev were holding slats together as Jay and Al were using electric screwdrivers to put them together, Voight giving directions from the head of the mass of wood. It was hilarious, and she appreciated them all for it. The changing table had been fully made up, so she left the food there, a chorus of thank you from the men coming through.

Trudy arrived to help supervise them, and hearing her calls and insistence that Voight help with the hammering made Kim and Hailey laugh. But finally the furniture was done, pushed against the light grey walls. She’d wanted a mostly neutral room for Nadia, grey walls and light wood, with pastel accents and furnishings. The rocking chair she’d bought for herself was in the corner, a pillow sitting on it.

While they were sitting in the living room Trudy handed her a box, Kim putting it on the coffee table to open it. She’d always known the desk sergeant knitted - had been threatened with a pair of knitting needles more than once - but inside was a beautifully made layette set for her, but sizes bigger than a newborn. There was a knitted cardigan, booties, hat, and mittens, along with a blanket that fit the decor of the nursery perfectly. The stitches were neat and even, something Kim could scarcely believe. It was beautiful.

“Trudy…” She had no words for it.

“It’ll be too warm for her to wear it when she arrives, so I made a few sizes up. It should be perfect for winter for her. The blanket is washable, every child should have a comfort blanket.” She was matter of fact as usual, but Kim just kept grinning at it.

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

Hailey cooed over how it looked, and when Kim spread the blanket on her stomach Nadia kicked it, in the now universal sign that her daughter approved. Everyone came out from the nursery with the furniture made, complimenting Trudy on her craft. Kim had ordered Chinese food for everyone, passing out bottles of beer and glasses of wine for those who wanted it. They tried slipping her money for the takeout but she refused, insisting that the help they’d given her was more than worth it. Her phone buzzed with venmo payments from people, but she rolled her eyes and knew not to argue.

Everyone left earlier than they normally would out of consideration for her exhaustion, and Kim hugged them all goodbye. Nadia kicked against Hank and Jay, and when Jay hugged her he pushed the lightest kiss to her forehead. She should have seen it coming and moved her head but took the comfort gladly, she hadn’t had one since she’d left his apartment those months ago. And now he’d put together their daughter’s furniture, scratches on his hands from Adam’s misaimed swings with a hammer.

The last two weeks waiting for Nadia to come were painful, both literally and figuratively. She’d decided to work until she went into labour, deciding that it was better to spend as much time at home once she arrived than waiting for her to arrive. She got nine weeks of maternity leave, and it would fly by when they were home.

She was kept even more to her desk when she was in work, everyone delivering what she needed before she’d even thought about it. Kim was utterly convinced that they had a schedule worked out on how to look out for her, between cups of water and tea, and snacks being brought out to her. If she even considered staying at her desk after the clock hit five she was shooed out, regardless of whether or not there was a night raid. She argued, but when Voight sat down beside her desk and said they needed to make sure she was safe she just nodded and agreed to head home.

It was just after he’d asked her to head home, when she was standing in the grocery store picking up some ready made noodles for her dinner, when her first contraction hit. Kim just breathed through it, slow and steady, picking up her food and paying before getting into the car to go home. She had plenty of time, the next one was a half hour away and Kim had made it to her couch by the time it arrived.

Her hospital bag had been packed and ready to go in the car since she’d hit seven months, Nadia’s coming home outfit and things to keep her sane during labour in it. Instead she took a shower, the contractions so far apart she could wash and condition her hair in it, making sure she felt ready for what was about to happen. It was vain, but pregnancy meant her hair looked fantastic, so Kim just grinned at it as she brushed it out. She put on her favourite of her maternity dresses, curling up on the couch. The contractions were getting closer together, and once they were fifteen minutes apart she decided to make her way to the hospital while she could still drive without worrying. It was go time, and she was both nervous and excited for Nadia to come.

Kevin, Adam, and Hailey had all offered to be in the room with her, but she’d turned them all down in turn. As much as she loved Kevin and Adam as her brothers she didn’t want them in the room while she was giving birth. And the idea of having Hailey in there - having the woman she was closest to help her give birth to the man Kim was convinced they both loved’s child - just hurt too much. Alone would be hard, but better for her.

The trip to Med was quiet, Kim pulling over for one contraction, the Chicago streets mostly clear as she drove. The sun was beginning to peek above the city skyline, and it was beautiful. She’d always loved these kind of summer days, and she forever would love them now, because today was her daughter’s birthday.

Kim parked and checked in, ignoring the questioning glance the receptionist gave her when her answer to “is anyone coming after you?” was a calm no. She could do this, and one judgmental look would not stop her daughter from arriving. Once she had a white paper wristband on with her details on one arm, plus a green one with MOTHER in bold black letters on the other, she was put into a wheelchair and brought into a single room. The midwife introduced herself as Patti, helping Kim to put the gown on and pull back her hair. She handed over the TV remote and a buzzer to call if Kim needed anything.

She sat on the bed alone, rhythmic contractions hitting her with a rerun of some comedy on tv. It was when GMA started that she realised she hadn’t told anyone she was in the hospital, and pulled up her contacts to text Voight and tell him she wouldn’t be in work.

Checked into Med, Nadia is on her way. I’ll let you know when she arrives.

His response was nearly immediate, making her smile.

The entire group can’t wait to meet her, we’re looking forward to it.

Another contraction ripped through her when she finished reading the text, the feeling of her stomach tensing under her hand before relaxing surreal. Nadia had stopped kicking as much, and she was worried until she realised Patti was calm, telling her it was completely normal to happen.

“Are we waiting on your support person?” She asked, smiling at Kim while terror ripped through her in between pains. How could she do this on her own? What had made her think she could do it? She was a fool for even imagining she could.

“I’m on my own.” The words came through gritted teeth, but Patti just held her hand.

“Then I’m here for this whole time, ok? We’ve had Doctor Manning and Halstead ask if it was you up here, so you’ve plenty of support in this hospital. Plus, a couple of cops are waiting outside already. I get the feeling there’ll be more?”

“Probably. My unit are as good as my family.”

She held Patti’s hand when her OB came in, pushing on command. It hurt and she could barely believe she was doing it, but finally her labour was over and Nadia was there, a perfect, perfect baby girl. She cried nearly immediately, the doctor weighing and measuring her before handing her back to Kim, who grasped her daughter eight pound daughter closely. She could see the red tint to her hair, the Halstead genes coming out in force already. Her nose was Jay’s, her lips like Kim’s, and she could already tell that Nadia’s eyes would be like her dad’s, green blue already.

Their daughter was the perfect mix of both of them, and Kim cradled her closely when she relaxed after delivering the placenta. She’d brought their daughter into the world alone, but this was the last time Nadia wouldn’t know about the big group of people there for her already. A tear dropped down her cheek at how gorgeous she was, Kim counting fingers and toes compulsively, smiling as Nadia grasped her hand.

“Do you have a name for her, Kim?” Patti asked, Kim nodding immediately.

“Nadia. Nadia Mairead Burgess.” She spelt Mairead out for Patti, promising to bring the birth certificate by later for Kim to sign.

Patti talked her through getting Nadia to latch on, barely suckling anything but she’d at least tried. Kim put the small pink hat on her daughter’s head, still holding her in the white blanket.

“So, there’s a group of cops in our waiting room. They want to know if you and Nadia are ready for some visitors?” Kim smiled, not expecting them to turn up. She’d expected to call Voight later and tell him that Nadia had arrived, that they were in the middle of a case so couldn’t come out. It warmed her heart that they were there waiting for her.

“Send them in.”

It took two minutes for everyone to come in, Jay, Voight, Al, Adam, Kev, and Hailey, with Trudy bringing up the rear and grinning at the new mother. Kim pulled Nadia’s little hat down, determined to keep her hair hidden from view just in case Jay put two and two together. They looked at her expectantly, and Kim forced a smile.

“Meet Nadia, everyone,” she said, the grins splitting their faces. Jay was the closest one to her, and she handed their daughter to him as she forced a smile watching him cradle her. Kim’s heart was screaming to tell him, but she knew she’d made the right decision in the end. Even if her heart broke as Adam took photos of Jay holding the baby, pressing a kiss to his forehead the same way he had to her nearly every time they were together.

Adam took photos of everyone with Nadia, Kim smiling at her pseudo grandparents holding her closely.

“She’s perfect, Kim,” Al murmured as he handed her over to Trudy, who snuggled into her softer than anyone would have thought. Trudy passed her back with a smile and pat on Kim’s shoulder.

“After DeCotis, right?” Jay asked, and Kim nodded.

“Yeah. I wanted to name her after the bravest woman I knew, and I never got to thank Nadia for everything that time we were undercover together. If my Nadia has half the strength she has, she’s going to be perfect.”

“She already is, Kim. You’ve got a perfect daughter, and we’ll all be here for her even if her dad isn’t. She’ll be sixteen and dating and have to deal with all of us.” Kim laughed slightly wetly, her emotions beginning to bubble over at everyone nodding at Jay’s words.

“She’s going to completely love it. We’re all there for each other, she’s just the first child from us.”

Everyone left shortly after to give the new mother some peace with her daughter. Trudy was the last to leave, giving Kim a hug and looking at Nadia closely. Kim was nervous at the near inspection Trudy did, before watching the sleeping child grasp her finger for a moment.

“We’re going to surround her, Burgess. She’s going to have a family in the 21st, don’t you ever doubt it. I was never lucky enough to have a daughter, but I’ve always thought of you like one. And if it’s ok, I want to think of her as a granddaughter.”

The offer filled Kim with joy, the knowledge that Nadia would have them. That no matter what happened, she would have that family around her.

“Thanks, Trudy. For everything.”

“You never need to thank me.”

As Kim watched her sergeant, the woman who’d believed in her when everything had looked bad for her, leave, she held her tears in. But as the door to her hospital room closed, Kim held her daughter close and let the tears run down her cheeks, stopping the gasping sobs she wanted to let out. The only thing she wanted in the world was that Jay was sitting beside her, holding their daughter in his arms. But instead he was on his way back to the precinct with Hailey, and she couldn’t begrudge him the happiness he had gained.

Next chapter >>

Taglist: @kellykidd @pinkwhitebrown @dedlund82 @resanoona @harleyquinnpuddin @brookerz122493 @stephanie708 @mmacke3613 @sylvieshay @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @eviehalstead21 @upsteadlovingheart @loki-halstead @keenmarvellover @thewannabewriter @andycasey06 @brockreynolds @cynthia1guardia

#burgstead #kim burgess x jay halstead #jay halstead x kim burgess #jay x kim #kim x jay #jay halstead #kim burgess #cíara writes

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sagemusesoutloud · 3 years ago

Text

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

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