#I'm sure that'll come with time ... but I hope you guys know how much I've appreciated your patience and support /gen

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I do need to get to bed, now ... I didn't mean to stay up this late.

[samandcolbyownme]

i forgot to reupload this - enjoy again!

Summary: Anon request - "Heey, i hope u're good and i hope u're accepting requests. I'm in love with ur works and i was wondering if u could write a very smutty piece about Sam and the reader being best friends (she's living with snc, bc they've been best friends all their lives). Maybe lately both Sam and the reader start noticing each other a lot more than before, like y/n is studying one night and Sam comes back from his run, they have a late night snack and it's all blushy and cute. But the upcoming days there's a lot of sexual tension between them until Sam just decides to put an end to their friendship to become more. I hope it's ok ♥️" 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, angst, hair pulling, choking, scratching, oral (f rec), fluff with filth 

Word Count: 5.7k | Not Edited Yet 

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You sat on the couch, lap top on your lap as you typed up your paper for school. It was quiet since Sam and Colby went out to meet someone about a possible exploration, so you put your headphones on to drown out the silence. 

You were too zoned out on getting this thing written that you completely missed the text Sam sent which stated that they would be home soon. 

After ten more minutes of typing, you close your lap top and stand up, letting out a scream as they laugh, "Honey, we're home." Colby says with a laugh and you sigh, "I see that." 

Sam smiles at you, and you hated when he did that, mainly because it made you fall more in love with him, and you couldn't do that.

You guys were best friends. 

Emphasis on the friend's part. You knew them, pretty much your whole life, and even though they haven't ever really said it, you knew that it would even be weird to talk about it, or so you thought. 

"How was the meeting thing?" You ask as they walk over towards you. Sam shrugs, "They're going to let us in, it's just a matter of finding out when exactly." He plops down onto the couch, "Get that paper done?" 

You sit back down, opening your computer back up, "Almost. I need like two more paragraphs." 

"What's it on again?" Colby asks turning your computer towards him, "Geoengineering technology? You are way too smart for your own good." 

You laugh and you can see Sam staring at you lovingly but you don't want to get your hopes up, "Yeah, sometimes I wonder if that's why I get headaches, too much knowledge up here." 

Colby laughs, "You know you don't have to go to school right? You can just fully commit to joining the xplr squad." 

You roll your eyes, "We've been friends for how many years? I've been a part of that squad before it was even thought of." 

Sam laughs as Colby nods while laughing, "You got me there. I'll give you that one." You smirk and look over at Sam, "Did you beat your time this morning? I wanted to ask but I had to leave before you got back." 

Sam sighs, "yes and no. I did but not by much, so.." 

"You'll get there. You have plenty of time." You smile at him and stand up, "I have an evening class tonight so I'll see you guys after five or so." You walk up to change, and right before you enter your room, Colby speaks, but it's not as quiet as he thinks, "You gotta tell her, bro."

You perk up, curious as to what they're talking about. 

"There's no way. No, Colby. I can't just spring that on her." Sam argues back and his voice goes quiet, making it hard for you to hear. 

You shake the thoughts out of your head and continue in to get dressed. You throw on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and one of the new hoodies from Sam's collection.

You grab your backpack and head back downstairs, "I'll see you guys later, do you want me to grab dinner on my way back?" 

"Yeah, that'll be good." Colby looks at you and nods, "Get whatever, you know what we get." You smile and nod, "Okay." 

Your eyes meet Sam's and he smiles at you. He loved seeing you in his own merch. You are his favorite model, but you didn't know that, for sure. 

Sam's eyes stay on you as he watches you search for your keys,"by the microwave, y/n." You look over and lo and behold they're there, "Thank you!" 

He yells out a quick, "Welcome!" as you leave the house. You make your way to your car, the thoughts running rabid through your mind, 

He's got a girlfriend and he's going to ask me to move out because he knows I like him and it's weird. 

You get in, sitting there for a moment before starting your car and driving to campus. 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"It's not weird at all." Your friend Lacey says leaning back in her chair, "You've been friends for a while, and I always say the friendship stage is the most important thing before dating someone. And you my friend, have it perfect." 

You sigh, "But the way they were talking I just... I feel like he's going to tell me he is talking to someone and he knows I like him and- Gahhhh." You groan quietly and take a deep breath as she leans over, "I've witnessed you and Sam together in a room full of people, and I can tell you that he doesn't look at anybody the way he looks at you." 

"Really?" You ask, her words giving you a little bit of hope and she nods, "Really. And just a little f.y.i, best friends don't look at each other the way you and Sam do." 

You smile slightly as you think about what she said, "I just don't know how to tell him, like.. my anxiety about the friendship ending gets the best of me because I don't want to lose him, and I know him and Colby are a package deal, so I'd lose them both and it just-" 

"Take a breather. Why don't you talk to Colby about it? I'm sure he knows a lot of their end." 

You shake your head, "I couldn't do that. I feel like Sam is the one I need to talk to or not at all.. I just.. I just have to get over myself." 

As your professor starts talking, you keep thinking about everything, but little did you know, Sam and Colby weren't editing videos like you thought, they were having almost the same conversation you and Lacey were having. 

Growing up, the adults would pick on you and Sam for claiming to be just friends, and for a while there, it was really true, but as you got older, the truth was covered up.

Each video you have done with them, the fans have pointed out things about you and Sam. Some would be simple comments, basically what Lacey said, about how you look at each other.

Then others would be making a big deal out of you picking to run to Sam after something scared you during the investigation. Most of the time it's because Sam is right there, you'd run to Colby too if you needed to, but who are you kidding, Sam is your safe place so of course you'll run to him first. 

You never commented back to it, because that would just lead to more confusing things, so you just brush it off most of the time. You've never say anything to Sam about it because you know more than likely already seen them, and if he hasn't said anything, why should you? 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You pull your phone out as you walk to your car, texting the group chat, I'm just going to go somewhere close, I have to study for a stupid test tomorrow and I don't want to be up all night. 

You toss your backpack into the passenger seat and get in, reading Colby's reply, that's fine 

Sam replies after, whatever is easiest for you.

You set your phone down and start driving, going where you need to go before heading home. 

You see someone walking towards your car which makes you kind of skeptical about getting out. You reach up to lock your doors until you see the big X on the front of it, letting out a sigh of relief. 

You push open your door and lean your head out, "Don't scare me like that." 

"Like what?" Sam asks as he pushes his hood down, giving you a smile. You get out and stand up, "Walking towards my car when it's almost dark out with your hood up." 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just threw it on, I figured you'd need help carrying stuff in." He takes your backpack from your hands and slings it over his shoulder, "Anything else?"

You shake your head, "No I can get the rest. Thank you." 

He nods, smiling at you for a few seconds before cleaning his throat, "Colby is hungry so we should probably get back in there."

"Of course he is." You laugh, grabbing everything else before walking inside with Sam. You wanted to blurt it out on your way up to the house, but it was like you couldn't speak at all. 

"Finally." Colby teases as you walk in through the door that Sam held open for you, "Thanks." You mumble quietly, going back to normal volume when talking to Colby, "There was a line, I'm sorry." 

He laughs as he points to you, "Don't let it happened again." 

You salute him, "Yes sir, Colby sir." 

"Yeah that's right." He laughs, making you laugh and Sam smiles as he enjoys how comical you and Colby are. 

After dinner, you find yourself on the floor of the living room with your books spread out across the rug, "I'm so screwed." You mumble to yourself, "I should know this." 

"Have trouble there Einstein?" Sam asks as he walks over to the couch and sits down. You look up at him and nod, "This stupid surprise test, that actually isn't a stupid surprise because I knew about it, I just forgot.." you laugh slightly, "Will be the death of me." 

"Just relax, don't overdo it. When was the last time you took a break?" 

Him being so caring makes it harder, no one has ever cared about you the way Sam does, "dinner."

"Y/n that was two hours ago." Sam laughs slightly and sighs, "Take a break, go shower or something. Reset and come back." 

You push yourself off of the floor and sit, "Maybe you're the one who's too smart for their own good." You stand up, stretching and Sam can't help but notice your shirt ride up your stomach a little bit. 

He shakes his head as his voice is low, "If that was the case then.." he trails off as Colby comes down the steps, "you're having a party and didn't invite me?" 

"Yeah, you can help me study. We'll call it a study buddy party." You laugh as Colby stands right back up after sitting down, "No thanks. I'm out." 

You laugh and toss your pen down, "I'm going for a shower anyway. I need a break." You hike it up the stairs and when you look back, Sam looks away from you quickly.

You look away smiling and make your way to the bathroom. 

After a while of being upstairs, finding things to do to avoid going backstairs to your books, you sit down on your bed and lay back. 

You think about what you want to say to Sam, or more of what you need to say. 

You decide you're going to talk to him. Right now. You get up, and walk down the steps to find Colby sitting alone on the couch. 

"Where's Sam?" You look around as you walk over to Colby. He looks up at you, "Said he was going for a run." 

You look at the clock, "it's almost ten pm?" You furrow your brows, Sam usually never goes on late night runs like this, "Is he okay?" 

A smirk grows on Colby's face and you point, "No. no. Don't even." 

He holds his hands up, "My lips are sealed." You roll your eyes and look at your books, hoping to change the subject, "Can you just help me study for a little bit?" 

He sighs and sits up, "Fine." 

An hour goes by and Colby went up to work on some editing, leaving you alone in the kitchen as you worked on making yourself a snack. 

You whispered questions to yourself, answering them, then celebrating when you got the right answer. 

You hear the door open and Sam walks in, freezing slightly as he wasn't expecting you to be up, "Oh, hey." 

"Hey." You smile and turn back towards your book, "How was the run?" 

He shuts the door, shrugging as he sets his phone and headphones on the counter, "Not what I expected really." 

"You want to talk about it?" You go back to putting peanut butter on your banana slices and he walks over, looking over your shoulder as he reaches around and takes one, "i don't know how to talk about it." 

You nod slowly, "I know that feeling." 

He leans against the counter, "We've been friends for a while, y/n." 

You glance over at him, a small smile resting on your lips, "Longer than a while, Sam." He chuckles and nods, "a lot longer than a while." 

You set your knife down, licking your lips as you work your the courage to ask what you want to ask most. 

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Sam asks, reading you like an open book, "You can always talk to me. Or Colby. You know we both care so much about-"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" 

He's taken aback slightly, "What?" He laughs and shakes his head, "No, no. I don't." He looks up at you, crossing his arms, "What makes you think that I have a girlfriend?" 

You turn towards him slightly, "When I went up to get ready before my class.. I heard Colby tell you that you have to tell her, and I didn't.." you trail off, sighing as you close your eyes, "Nevermind." 

Sam stares at you for a few seconds, "Oh.." he chuckles, "That.. yeah no.. that was about a girl who I've been talking to.." he follows up quickly, "..but not in the way you think." 

You nod, your heart sinking slightly, "Ah, I see." 

"Yeah, I have to tell her that I'm not interested in her." Sam tilts his head towards you, "She hasn't gotten the hint yet, and I don't want to be douche about it." 

"Yeah, no of course not." You smirk slightly, "You're only mean to me." He laughs, "Well yeah, but you know what they say.." He sighs and leans over, taking another banana slice, "if a boy picks on a girl?" 

You try to fight a smile, but you fail so you look down, "I've heard that saying before." 

"Then you can probably put two and two together." He smiles at you as you look up at him, "I'm going to bed, we have to meet someone in the morning about the exploration." 

"Maybe don't be up so late."

"Could say the same to you." He winks and jogs up the steps, leaving you to ask yourself, does Sam like me back?

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Over the next few days, the energy between you and Sam was different. 

You felt drawn to him. 

And he felt drawn to you. 

You looked at him with so much love, and lust. You needed Sam, now. It felt like you were aching for him, but after the kinda, yet not-so cryptic conversation you had with him the one night, you just weren't sure what was in store for you and Sam. 

You've been flirty, almost feeling like you and Sam were closer. You would pass each other and his hand would land somewhere on your body, usually your lower back, and it would send a shock up your spine. 

"Morning." You say walking down the steps, "How'd your investigation go?" 

"Sam, why don't you show her the footage?" Colby says nudging Sam's arm. He takes a deep breath, "I don't think.." 

"You're coming back with us tomorrow night. That's all I'm saying." Colby holds his hands up, shaking his head and you look at Sam, pointing to Colby, "What's he talking about?" 

He licks his lips and sighs with a smirk, "Come on. I'll show you." You nod, following him back up the stairs, "Did it go good?" 

You follow him into his room and sit on his bed as he sits in the chair infront of his computer, "It was a loving spirit, basically, so yeah, it went good." 

You lean forward slightly, eyes on Sam as he clicks on things. A shy smile grows on his face, "I know you're not looking at the computer." 

He slowly turns his head towards you and you keep your eyes on him, "So what if I wasn't?" He cocks his jaw to the right as he smirks, "Never said it was a bad thing." He nods towards the computer, "Come here." 

You stand up, moving over to stand next to him. You press your hand on the desk and lean down slightly, watching as he presses play. 

You can tell he's watching you, but he's waiting for your reaction. 

"Can you repeat that for us please?" Sam asks on the video. After a few moments, you hear your name, clear as day and it wasn't from either one of the guys, "What the hell?" 

You look at Sam and he holds his hand up, "Just wait." 

You look back at the screen, "Something moved in that doorway." You lay your finger on the screen and Sam leans forward, "What? No way." 

"Rewind it... yeah.. there stop." You glance at Sam and nod towards the screen, "Now watch." He presses play, eyes on the screen and he leans back, eyes wide, "How did we miss that?" 

You laugh slightly, "I don't know."

He watches in shock, "Why don't you ever come with us anymore?" 

You hoped this question wouldn't ever be asked. 

"School, you know that Sam." You look at him quickly before reaching for the mouse to hit play, but he stops you, "That's the fake, I don't want to talk about it reason. Tell me the real reason." 

You stand up, letting out a quiet sigh, "I just didn't want to get in the way." He tilts his head, "In the way of what?" 

You shrug, unsure of what to say. 

"Is it the comments? About us, and what people think we are?" Sam crosses his arms and looks up at you. You laugh nervously, giving him a nod, "I guess so." 

He chews on his lip, "Uh huh." He smirks and leans forward, "Well they'll have a hay day with this." He clicks play and pulls you to sit on his thigh. 

You lean forward, listening to Colby speak on the video, "What does y/n have to do with this?" 

".. Sam .. it's time .." 

You furrow your brows, continuing to listen to the video, 

"Sam.. Sam.." you see Colby grab Sam's arm and Sam looks terrified, "Colby.." 

"Sam.. she's a good spirit.. she's made it known she doesn't want to hurt anyone." Colby assures him, "you think she's telling you that you need to tell her?" 

"Tell who what?" Sam shoots back and you look back at him. He's resting his chin on the palm of his hand and you look back at the screen. 

"Y/n.. tell y/n that you like her more than you're letting on, man." Colby's voice is low, almost like they tried to keep it a secret but forgot the camera was rolling? 

"Yeah, yeah. You're probably right, Colby.. I just.. how do they know that?" Sam is confused, "I just don't.. oh my god.."

"... together..." 

"Should y/n and Sam be together?" Colby asks, "If you say yes, make that little light go off for us." Instant light and Sam pauses the video, "Lady Zeroni was known as a match maker back in her day but it turned deadly when a man who wasn't happy with the person she chose for him came back and went on a total murderous rampage throughout the entire house." 

You lean back slightly, "So what you're saying is..." you laugh slightly and rest your hand on the top of his chair, "A ghostly matchmaker is saying we should.. what? Be together?" 

Sam stares up at you, "The whole time, I kept thinking about you. Here alone. Like we don't know what we deal with sometimes and when your name is said, my immediate thought was you in danger and I just.." 

You listen as he trails off, "When I asked about you having a girlfriend, I was scared you were going to ask me to move out because of how I feel about you." 

"Wait.. how do you feel about me?" He tilts his head and tries not to smile and you laugh, putting your hand over his face, "Shut up." 

He takes your hand off his face and holds it gently in yours, playing with the ring that's on your middle finger, "I'm scared as hell to want you.." his voice is quiet, "But here I am.." he looks up at you, "..wanting you anyway." 

You look up at him quickly and your eyes meet his, "I know that feeling, too." He smirks slightly, letting out a breath of air, "We've been friends for a wh-" he stops himself, smiling as he corrects his words, "We've been friends for our whole lives basically, and I just.." 

"Don't want to ruin the friendship?" 

He nods, "Exactly." 

You nod, "Since we're being honest.. I don't know when it happened, but all I know is that you're the first person I run to when I'm scared, happy, sad, anything." You tilt your head, "I mean, when we're doing a video, I run to Colby too, but mainly because he's close, but everything is just.. it's just very different with you." 

"You look at me way different than you look at Colby, I know that for a fact. Actually, Colby was the one who brought it to my attention and I honestly tried pushing it off because I wasn't sure if it was too weird.. like we've known each other for so, so long and we've reached that max level of comfortability with each other... it's just.." 

"It's a real amazing thing, Sam. Not many people, or should I say, many people would kill to have the type of relationship we have." You run your hand through his hair, and he closes his eyes, "Lacey told me that best friends don't look at each other the way we do." 

His eyes flutter open and he smiles, "Colby told me the same thing." 

"And I read the comments on our videos, and I just didn't want you guys to stop getting views or have your name being drug through the mud because we were being too touchy with each other." 

He pulls you closer, "Your safety is my number one priority during those and if me keeping an arm around you while we're in some sketchy ass haunted house makes you feel secure, then I'm going to do it." 

You smile, laying a hand on his chest, "I may have overthought a lot of it." 

He nods, "Oh me too, one hundred percent." 

He runs his bottom lip under his teeth, "I've been waiting years to do this." He slides his hand up, pulling you in so he can press his lips gently to yours. 

Your hand moves to his cheek as you deepen the kiss and he pulls back, scanning over your face as a smile forms on his lips, "Now that I think about it, we'd make a great couple." 

You tilt your head and scrunch up your nose, "You think so?" He pulls you in to kiss you, mumbling against your lips, "Know so." 

You hum against his, "You know what else?" 

"Hmm?" He tilts his head back to rest against his chair, looking up at you as he waits for you to tell him. 

You stand up, his hands still on your hips, "We know everything but one thing about each other."

He raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? What's that?" 

You slide your hands to his, "Come on." He stands up, following you over to his bed, instantly picking up what you're laying down for him, "Mm. Are you sure?" 

You turn around, slipping off your sweatshirt, "You have no idea how long I've thought about getting you into bed, Golbach." 

He chuckles as he slips his own shirt off, "I think I have an idea, y/l/n." His hands lay on your hips and he gently sits you down on the bed. 

You lay back as his body moves over top of yours, his hips resting perfectly between your knees. It's like you were made for each other. 

"Tell me what you want, babe." Sam's voice is low as he moves to kiss down your neck, "I'm all yours now." 

You felt a wave of calmness wash over you before you take his hand and slide it to your throat, "Prove it." 

He smirks with a slight hesitation before slowly tightening his grip, "As you wish." His lips crash into yours, kissing every once of skin he can as he makes his way down to the top of your sweats. 

He bites your waist band, looking up at you as he lets them snap against your skin with a smirk following the release, "Can I take these off?" 

"You don't have to ask." You go to sit up and take them off, but he presses a hand flat to your chest, "Let me, do it baby." 

You bite your lip, nodding as you lay back down. 

His hands slide up your clothed thighs, squeezing them before slipping his fingers between the band and your skin, "I want to take my time with this." 

You needed him now, but you understood. 

"Okay, baby." You whisper and smile down at him, lifting your hips as he tugs your sweats down. His lips part slightly, leaning little open kisses up your legs.

He moves back up, hovering over you he grinds against you, "You have no idea how many times I've thought about you.." he leans down and kisses you, "Thought about you." 

You smile, "I relate."

He kisses down your neck, "When you came down wearing one of my hoodies, I wanted to make you so late for class." 

"Would have been worth it." 

He smiles and brushes hair from your face, "Fuck, why'd we wait so long?" You shrug, "Good things take time, Sam." 

He smiles and looks from your lips to your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. He rolls over and you follow, straddling him as your lips reconnect with his. You grind down on him, low moans escaping the seal of your lips on one another.

"Please." You whimper out, "I need you." 

Sam grips your neck, squeezing slowly, "Say it again." 

Your lips form into a smile, and you whimper. "I need you."

He sits up, wrapping his arm around your back, "You're so fucking beautiful." His lips press to yours, moving slowly as he uses his arm to make your body move. 

You wrap your arm around his neck and grind down, moaning his name quietly. He leans back, "lay down for me." 

You move and lay on your back, watching as Sam strips the rest of his clothes off, "Take them off for me." He nods towards your panties that are still on your body and you comply by taking them off and kicking them off the bed. 

"You know, I've also thought about being between those legs.." he gets on his knees, moving towards the middle of the bed by your feet, "multiple times actually.. I was so close to pulling you into the bathroom at that party we went to last week and getting on my knees for you.." his eyes move up your naked body with a smirk, "You looked so fucking good." 

Your heart skips a beat, remembering that, even in your drunken state at the time, Sam wouldn't stop looking at you. 

"You should have." You whisper watching as he kisses up your legs, alternating sides with each kiss, "I wouldn't have minded." 

"Trust me, the next party we go to, I'll make it happen." He winks before dipping his head down and taking your clit between his lips. You let out a gasp, laying a hand on the back of his head, "Sam!" 

Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling slightly as you arch your back, "Oh god, yes." You moan as you grind your hips against his face, whining out how good it feels. 

His tongue sinks into you and you pull his hair, causing him to groan against you. Your other hand searches for something else to grab for leverage. 

His hand throws your leg over his shoulder and your heel instantly digs in to pull him closer, "Fuck, Sam. Sam. I'm so close."

His fingertips dig into your skin, pinning you down as his tongue works its magic inside of you. 

Your eyes roll back and your back lifts up off the bed as he brings you to orgasm, "Shit shit shit." You moan out, "Fuck." 

He pulls away, immediately coming up to kiss you. His cock rubs against your pussy and you reach down, rubbing it up and down your soaked slit a few times before he pushes his hips forward, his cock slipping inside of you for the very first time. 

You both moan, clinging to each other in anyway you can. 

He slowly pulls out and slowly slides back in, taking in the feeling of you, "Fuck, you feel so good." 

"S-Sam.." you press your chest to his, "Fuck me. Please." 

He smirks and tilts his head, watching your face twist with the best pleasure you've ever received, "Fuck, yes." Your nails dig and drag up his back, "I love you." 

Sam leans up, stopping his thrusts as he looks at you. Your face goes shocked, "I-I don't know where that ca-" 

"He smiles and leans down to kiss you, "I love you more than words can say." 

"Then show me." You say quickly before you press your lips to his, "and you don't have to be gentle with me anymore, Sam." 

He smirks and shakes his head, "You're fucking perfect." His lips crash into yours and he pushes his hips all the way into you, moaning lowly against you. 

He slides a hand down your body and hooks his arm under your knee. He pulls it up and the new angle causes you to gasp, "Fuck."

He starts out thrusting slow, but quickly builds up to a faster, punishing pace. He tilts his head back, moaning before looking down at you. 

He sits up slightly and reaches his hand down to cup your chin. His thumb slides across your bottom lip and you part them instantly. 

He watches as you take his thumb between your lips, hallowing out your cheeks as you suck. He groans lowly, "I'm never going to get tired of you in this position."

You smile, teeth gently biting down on his thumb and he takes a sharp breath, "Oh yeah. Never getting tired of you in general." 

He pulls his hand away and lays beside you. You automatically roll over, straddling him to ride him. You tilt your head back with a moan as his cock slides back inside of you. 

His hands immediately grip your hips and help guide you up and down, "Fuck." His eyes are glued to his cock disappearing inside of you, "Doing so good, baby." 

Your eyes light up at the praise and he raises his eyebrows, "Like a little praise do we?" He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, "You're full of surprises aren't you?" 

"You have no idea, Mr. Golbach." 

He sits up slightly, "But I will." 

He bends his legs up and your hands press to his knees as you bounce up and down, "Gonna cum." You whimper out as you slide all the way down and roll your hips, cursing out as you cum.

Sam is in awe of you, his eyes are moving all over your face, your body, "That's it, baby. Good girl." 

Your eyes snap open and you lean down, kissing him as you move your hips up and down, "Only for you." 

"Say.. say it again." He drags his fingers up your leg, "Please." 

"A good girl, but only for you." 

He flips you so you're back to being on your back and he's on top, thrusting into you, "Fucking right." 

You smile, moaning out as you wrap your legs around his waist, "Fuck, fuck yes." 

"M'so close." He mumbles into your neck, "Fuck. You're so good to me." 

His thrusts slow down and turn kinda sloppy as he gets ready to break the grasp of your legs locked around him. 

He pulls out to cum on your stomach and you lay there breathing heavy. He lays beside you, kissing your shoulder for a few seconds before standing up to grab you something to wipe off with. 

He comes back, hanging you a towel with a smile. You take it from him and smirk, "What?" 

"You're my girlfriend." He smiles and bites his lip, quietly celebrating. You tilt your head, "And you're my boyfriend." You smile at him and wipe up, tossing the towel on the floor before being met with a Sam laying his body over yours, "Should we go break the news to Colby?" 

You sigh, "I can picture his celebration dance already." 

Sam peppers kisses all over your face, getting you to laugh, "You're so cheesy." You turn your head, pecking his lips, "One of my favorite things about you."

He smiles and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You.. are my favorite thing about me." 

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thanks for reading! I love you all so much! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[spearsillustration]

🐝 RID Stressed Bumblebee X Cybertronian Reader

Notes: I've been currently rewatching RID, when I was younger I didn't finish it. It's not as bad as I remember it being. I usually have it playing in the background when I'm working on something but I kind of love it. And I just love this version of Bumblebee. He's just a silly little guy doing his best. I think the only reason I didn't like this version is because I watched TFP first and that gives a person high expectations. 

Word count -  4,083

Page Number - 10.7 (How? This was meant to be short and sweet.)

 I've noticed Bumblebee's been far more quiet lately. I didn't think too much of it until Bumblebee snapped at Strongarm and Sideswipe for never listening to him. Yes, he yells at them for bickering from time to time, but this time was different. His voice was louder, scarier even. As he left the scene I could see his hands trembling, smoke practically coming out of his receptors. I followed him to try and talk about what was bothering him. 

        Before leaving I reassured the others that Bee was probably just having an off day and to forgive his actions. I slowly followed after to see what was wrong but I knew I had to be patient since he was obviously going through something.

        "Wanna talk about it?"

        The yellow autobot stopped in his tracks when he heard my voice, letting out a frustrated sigh before looking back at me He was clearly pissed off, but he was able to calm down once he saw it was me.

        "I'm fine," he said, voice harsh and stern but his eyes said otherwise, they were filled with stress and worry.

        "How about we leave base for a bit and go for a little drive? I know a place that'll help clear your mind a bit. You'll love it." I smiled warmly hoping he'd come around. 

        Bumblebee looked down at me, his optics slowly softening as he let out a small sigh and nodded. He still looked as stressed as ever, but at the promise of some time away from everyone, he'd feel much better.

        "Yeah, sure...I could use a drive right now," he said in a low tone.

        "Alright let's go then. I told the others we'd be gone for a while." Me and Bee transformed and I started leading us to our destination.

        Bumblebee followed driving in silence beside me, not saying a word. It had been a while since the two of us were able to be alone like this, so it seemed he slowly became more relaxed. I would usually try playing around or racing with him, but I knew he wasn't in the mood so we kept driving silently. He was in a bad mood so of course I wouldn't play around. I just understood his need to get away for a bit. After another 20 minutes of driving, he spoke up, "...Where exactly are we going?"

        "You'll see soon. It's a surprise, but you'll love it. It's just what you need."

        Bumblebee let out a small sigh but didn't object. He trusted me enough and if I said he would love this place, he would. He continued to follow me, now curious about where I was taking him.

        I turned onto an old backroad that led into the forest. The road was hardly visible so it was easy to pass up if you weren't looking for it. It led to a beautiful pond that was fed by a creek. The water was beautiful and clear completely untouched by humans. It was surrounded by trees and the waterfall on the far side across from us made the sight even more unworldly.

        "How do you like it? I found it about a month ago when patrolling."

        Bumblebee stared in awe the moment we both made it to the pond. He seemed speechless as he slowly transformed back and walked over to the edge of the pond, eyes wide as they gazed upon the water.

        "....I-Its..I..."

        He couldn't find the words for it, he just kept staring at the water, a small smile appearing on his face as all the stress seemed to slowly melt away.

        "I figured you needed to relax and this is the best place I could think of." I looked away from the water and back at him.

        Bumblebee finally managed to look away from the pond to look back at me. His optics held a gleam to them as the smile stayed on his face, he seemed thankful. 

        "I..Yeah.This is exactly what I needed...I can't believe a place like this even exists here..." He spoke, finally finding his voice. He walked closer and pulled me into a tight hug taking me by surprise. 

      He held me close wrapping his arms around my body almost holding too tightly. He let out a small sigh as he closed his eyes. I could feel how tense and wound up his body was, holding himself together at the base in front of the others had left him exhausted. 

        "Let's sit down and relax here for a while." I offered.

        Bumblebee silently nodded in response. Then laid down on his back, letting out a relieved sigh as he stretched out a bit in the grass. He patted the spot beside him, gesturing for me to come lay with him.

        I smiled and quickly joined him. "So do you wanna talk about it? If you don't I understand."

        He looked at me as I lay beside him, he reached out an arm and pulled me closer to him so I was pressed up against his side. He stayed quiet for a while, just staring up at the sky above.

        Finally, he let out a sigh "I have a lot on my mind, I don't think you even want to hear it." He mumbled, his eyes still looking up at the sky

        I looked up at him with a worried expression. "You know you can tell me anything. And I'll just keep it between you and me."

        Bumblebee hesitantly looked away from the sky and back down at me. His eyes slowly became softer as he saw the worry in my expression. He carefully rolled onto his side, facing me instead of the sky. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "...Sometimes it just gets too much, you know? Trying to keep everyone in line, keeping everyone from getting into trouble, keeping everyone safe... It's tiring, I feel like I'm failing.."

        "Oh Bee." I sigh. "You do so much for us and overwork yourself. You're not failing. You're new to this and you're still learning. Being a leader is hard, I could only imagine how hard it can be."

                Bumblebee slowly nodded as he tried to look anywhere other than my eyes, feeling a sense of shame and disappointment in himself for not doing better.

"Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, especially when it seems like everyone just keeps ignoring me. They don't take anything I say or do seriously.." His voice became bitter as memories of the others came to the forefront of his mind.

        "They're young, foolish, and a bit annoying at times. But, over time the team will get better I know it. And you always have me around to help."

        Bumblebee's optics slightly widened at my words, and a feeling of warmth spread through his chest as he looked down at you again. He reached out and placed a hand on my cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb.

        "I don't know what I would do without you...You're the only one who listens and I wish the others understood. How did I get so lucky to have someone so caring and understanding like you?"

        I blushed and looked away. "I-it's nothing, I just care about you is all," I said super awkwardly.

        Bumblebee chuckled when he noticed my obvious blushing, finding it cute how awkward I was in this situation. He moved his hand up to my chin and gently tilted my head to make me look him in the eyes, a small smirk on his face.

        "It's definitely not nothing. You're everything. But you're adorable when you're nervous, you know that?"

        "Stop, this isn't about me. We're here for you." I said changing the subject, but I was right.

        He smirked as he saw how flustered I got due to his words, he decided to drop the subject but he loved getting me flustered like that. He rolled back onto his back and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

        "Alright, alright. We don't have to talk about that...but there is another thing I wanna talk about if you're up for it.. " he said in a serious tone.

        "What is it?"

        Bumblebee's optics shifted away from me as his arm tightened around me, he was clearly nervous about what he was about to say. "It's about...how I feel about you, I guess. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring it up, I don't want to ruin anything, I just-"

        "...Just what?"

        Bumblebee's cheeks had a slight blue tint to them seeing my flushed expression unable to look me in the eyes.

        "I just... I have feelings for you- I have for a while now, but I felt unsure about whether it would actually be a good idea to say anything or not. I-I don't wanna ruin what we have-" He said in a low tone, his voice becoming more nervous the more he spoke.

        "I'm glad. I was worried mine were one-sided. I like you too Bee." I was barely able to get out.

        For a moment, Bumblebee's optics widened as he heard those words, a look of surprise on his face. "Wait...Really? You like me too? I didn't think this would happen, I thought it was one-sided-"

        "Y-yeah, I love ya Bee. I covered my mouth. "It's scary to actually say that out loud."

        A large smile appeared on Bumblebee's face and his optics shone brightly with happiness as he heard those 3 words. 

        "I love you too," He said, his voice softer and full of love as he spoke.

        My spark could just explode from joy. "You look better now that you're smiling. I missed it."

                Bumblebee chuckled as he heard me say that, he was still smiling, it was a smile that refused to go away anytime soon. He suddenly let out an amused hum, his smile turned into a smirk.

        "Oh, so you like my smile, do you?" He teased, his grip on me becoming a tad bit tighter.

        "Of course, I do Sweetspark."

        Bumblebee's smirk turned into a soft smile again at that cute nickname, he let out a small sigh of contentment. 

        "I like it when you call me that," He mumbled, "Sweetspark...Has a nice sound to it"

        "You'll definitely have to get used to it then."

        "Oh, I'll get used to it just fine, as long as you're the one saying it." He said, optics gently looking down at my lips.

        I leaned over and gently gave him what I knew he wanted. I gave him a gentle loving kiss.

        Bumblebee's hand slowly slid down to my waist to pull me closer. When I suddenly leaned forward and kissed him, his optics widened briefly before they slowly drifted shut. He let out a small sigh against my lips and slowly deepened the kiss.

        Once we pulled apart I prepped his neck and face with kisses. "I've wanted to do that for the longest time."

        Bumblebee chuckled at my cute gesture, letting out a hum of contentment as I peppered his face with kisses. His optics slowly fluttered closed once again as he tilted his head to the side to give me more access to his neck. He let out another soft sigh as my lips left a trail of gentle kisses on his neck.

        "Careful-" he mumbled, a hint of a teasing tone in his voice "-I might get addicted to this, you know."

        "I wouldn't mind that."

        "As much as I want this to continue, I think we should probably head back to base before the others get worried. As much as I want to keep you all to myself."

        "Fine. Since you can't stand being around me." I said sarcastically.

        "Don't make it sound like that, you know I enjoy being with you." He smirked as he gently tapped my nose with his finger as if he was trying to get a rise out of me.

        "I just like to play with you sometimes." I quickly gave him another kiss before standing up.

        Bumblebee rolled his optics but he didn’t mind this little back and forth between the two of you. He let out a sigh as I stood up and slowly sat up from the ground. A small smirk appeared on his face as he held a hand up to me.

        "Help me up will ya?"

        I squinted my eyes at him feeling he had something planned but I decided against it and gave him a hand.

        Bumblebee chuckled at the look I gave him, he could tell I knew something was up but decided not to question it and just helped him up. When I grabbed his hand, he quickly used the opportunity to pull me down onto his lap.

        "I figured you would do that."

        Bumblebee chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me sitting in his lap, he looked at me with a teasing smile on his face. "And yet you still fell for it"

        "Because maybe I didn't mind it."

       "Mhm? You didn't mind, eh? So if I did this, you wouldn't mind that either right?" He teased, as he reached a hand up to my chin to tilt my head down closer to his face.

        "Aww, did you want another kiss before we left?"

        Your faces were so close, that the tips of your noses were almost touching. He chuckled, his optics looking down at my lips again before looking back into my eyes again

        "Yes, very much so. If you would give me another one."

        I quickly gave him a light almost fleeting kiss. "Now as much as I'd love to make out here in the woods by this beautiful pond, like you said we should probably head back."

        "Mhm, you’re right. We can continue this later back at base...if you want to, of course" He said with a playful wink. 

        "Alright, then let’s get going then. The longer we sit here, the longer we have to wait to continue this later" I said before I lightly punched his shoulder before standing up.

        I transforming transformed and revved my engine.

        "Wanna race back?" I asked playfully.

        "A race? Hm.. let's see if you can actually keep up with me"

        I quickly drove off leaving him in my smoke. "Let's see if you're right."

        Bumblebee let out an amused gasp as I suddenly took off, the smirk on his face widened into a cheeky grin. "Cheater!-" he yelled out, revving his engine again to speed up. He quickly gained speed and raced after me.

        I didn't let up and raced back to base. "You're gonna have to do better than that Sweetspark."

        Bumblebee huffed in annoyance at my words. He revved his engine once more and suddenly sped up, pulling up right beside me. 

        "Oh, you're going to get it when we get back to base, you know-"

        I'm glad he couldn't see my blush. "Uh-huh. We'll have to see."

        He was enjoying the banter as he kept up the speed to stay right beside me. "You're not gonna be saying that when I have you all to myself later," he teased, increasing speed easily pulling ahead of me.

        "B-bee." I wined in embarrassment and accidentally slowed down enough for him to pass me.

        Bumblebee noticed my small stutter and the fact that I had suddenly slowed down enough to let him pull ahead. "Oh? What’s the matter? Did that comment get you all embarrassed? Hm-"

        "Shut up." I stuttered out only adding to my embarrassment. I was happy we were close to base. But I tried to speed up and beat him to save myself some face.

        He noticed me trying to speed up and beat him to base, so he suddenly sped up as well to keep himself in front of me.

        "Ah ah! No chance!" He shouted back. He was enjoying every second of this, especially making me stutter from embarrassment.

        We reached base with Bee ahead of me at least a full car length. I drifted into base and transformed back gracefully but still blushing from him comments. Once he transformed back to bot mode, he leaned against the wall and looked at me. 

        "And you said you could keep up with me"

        "Well, better the most can." I shrugged.

        "Mhm, doesn't matter though. You still lost" He teased, a smirk still on his face as he gently grabbed my waist to pull me closer to him.

        "Guess we'll have to do it again another time and get a rematch." I leaned up and kissed his cheek since he was already so close.

        "A rematch sounds nice, I'm up for it whenever you are"

        I noticed the two younger bots and jumped a bit in embarrassment. Bumblebee was about to say something when he saw my sudden reaction and followed my gaze, he looked over to the side and saw both Strongarm and Sideswipe not too far from where we were. His optics widened for a moment and he realized they saw everything.

        I pulled away and cleaned myself off awkwardly. "H-hay guys."

        Sideswipe chuckled and crossed his arms "Well, what do we have here?-"

        He started but was quickly cut off by a smack to the back of his head by Strongarm "Sideswipe shut up" She said in a stern tone, before looking over to me and Bee.

        It was so awkward because the reason we left was because Bee was pissed off and now we're back all lovey-dovey out of nowhere.

        Sideswipe was still rubbing the back of his head to soothe the pain from the smack but still had a smirk on his face as he looked at us. "So, care to explain this?" He asked.

        "Um w-well me and Bee are kind of a thing now," I answered awkwardly hoping Bee could say it better. He was the leader after all.

        Sideswipe looked dumbfounded for a moment but that quickly turned into a teasing smile "A thing, huh?" he said in a slightly sarcastic tone

        Before Sideswipe could say anything else, Bumblebee spoke up. His face didn’t look pleased or amused but just blank, his expression showing annoyance. "Yes, we are a thing," he said bluntly, as he gave Sideswipe and Strongarm a small glare.

        It was clear that Bee was still upset with their earlier behavior.

        Sideswipe held his hands up in mock surrender but still had a smirk on his face. "Hey, no need to get all pissy, I was just curious," he said casually.

        Strongarm gave Sideswipe another glare and smacked the back of his head again, causing him to let out a small "Ow-" in response

        "You should learn to show some more respect Sideswipe. Bee works hard as our leader, more than you could understand." I said also annoyed with his attitude lately.

        Sideswipe rubbed the back of his head again he heard your words, and The smirk on his face slowly fell. Strongarm nodded in agreement with my words and turned to Sideswipe with a scolding look on her face. "Riley's right, Sideswipe. Bumblebee is still our leader, and you ought to start respecting him like one"

        "Both and Sideswipe get into annoying arguments all the time. You two need to find a way to work better today. Since we're a team we have to work together or it will never work." I didn't realize I was about to give out orders like this. I guess seeing Bee so upset got me riled up a bit.

        Both Sideswipe and Strongarm looked like they were in shock from my words. Sideswipe still had his hands up and a dumbfounded look on his face from scolded, while Strongarm stood stunned for a moment before her face shifted back to a more serious one and a small nod came from her.

        "You're right, I apologize. I'll try to do better" She said apologetically.

        "I know you two can do amazing things but you need to work on some things we all need to work on things," I said trying to make the atmosphere a little less tense. 

        Sideswipe's hands slowly lowered and he let out a small sigh as he regained his composure once more. He put his hands on his hips and looked at me with a slightly sheepish expression on his face.

        "Yeh.. I guess we both do have some things to work on" he said quietly.

        Strongarm nodded in agreement and looked down at her feet in shame. 

        "Thank you guys. That's all we can ask for." I smiled warmly.

         I looked back at Bee hoping I didn't make things worse or anything. "I'm sorry if I stepped out of line or anything. I know you're the leader and it's your job to talk to them but I just hoped I could help."

        Bumblebee looked at me with a softened expression when I turned back to him. He gave me a small smile before shaking his head "No no, it's alright. You didn't do anything wrong. You helped a lot more than you think. Thank you for doing that"

        I stepped closer. "Anything to help you out."

        "Thank you, I really appreciate it. You helped a lot more than I thought you could"He said with a small smile on his face. The smile soon turned into a hint of a smirk. "And it was pretty attractive seeing you tell off Sideswipe and Strongarm"

        "Oh those two, it's like dealing with sparklings."

        Bumblebee chuckled at my comment and nodded in agreement "Yeah, but they're a bit more difficult to deal with than actual sparklings"

        "Oh really, how's that?"

        "Well the usual, them arguing with each other all the time like they're trying to rile each other up, getting into trouble, causing unnecessary problems- the list goes on. It's a pain to deal with in the long run"

he explained.

        "I suppose you're right. But they're still learning. Once they mature a bit they'll be amazing teammates to work with. I can just see it now. And I have a feeling their bickering will turn into something else in the future."

        Bumblebee nodded in agreement once again and chuckled softly. He was enjoying this little moment as we talked about the other bots.

        "Yeah, it's just a matter of time. If their endless arguments and bickering don’t end up killing me first" He joked, referring to the endless arguments Sideswipe and Strongarm had.

        "Well, that won't happen with me around. Don't need you dying on me yet. I don't think I could work with those two alone, so you can't leave me yet."

       "Trust me, I have no plans to leave you alone. Besides, you're one of the main reasons I'm still sane around here" He said jokingly but with a genuine hint in his tone.

        "Well, you had to have at least one other adult on the team."

        "Yes, exactly. You’re like a breath of fresh air whenever everything becomes chaotic and annoying”

        I was glad to see him in a better mood than earlier this morning. "I do my best.

[fallenhooman]

Why do you ship Sans x Frisk? As a person who ships them myself, what do you see in them, like about them? Personality traits, situations, tropes etc, anything that comes to mind, what makes you enjoy them and continue to breathe life to them?

Oh geez I did not expect this deep question. But good question! I guess I just feel like they are fit together, their personalities, situations and brings them to met and the way they treat eachother. But well in Undertale canon, I would prefer Sans and Frisk as besties! The age are not confirmed and I would not try to risk anything. I really like Sans and Frisk as duo when I was younger, very young I dunno why but I feel like I love them when I first saw them both on internet, I remember that it was Secret Garden animation. It sparked something in me as a kid but I was young and don't know things much. Years later I learned more about Undertale because of one guy that I love. I learn about all characters, their lore and everything I was obsessed with Undertale so much I have never thought about ships or anything until I remember about flowerfell again. And I really like Sans and Frisk as duo so... yeah that's why I really love them being together. I find comfort and relatable with them. But seeing people are being so hateful and misunderstood about these, I decided to keep it as secret that I ship Frans and draw it in private for long time. But something changed when I listened to Overgrowth find every fanfics about it as much as I could and my love for Flowerfell grew more and more then I found the truth about dramas, I read about what happened. And I think, this is not fair for all those people who are hiding from society just cause society misunderstood about them and never try to understand. I stand up again and don't really care who'll report or hate me. Cause I did not do anything illegal and I'm sure about that. If they will be disrespectful then so be it. How I feel for Sans n Frisk? It just that I feel like they're soulmates(?) In my opinion. They are uhh meant for eachother. No matter what universe, time, place I just feel like there would be something that'll bring this two together again as friends, lovers or anything. It made me felt brighter, have hope for things I cannot explain. It feels like I'm not alone. I like everything about them, everything. I see hope, heart warming, understanding, determination, caring, honesty, acception, and love in them. I just find comfort in them both- I relate to them both somehow, somehow. And I think they are fit with each other, despite how difficult it would be. Almost every fanfictions of them, It all just, perfect. And I can't help but love it and being obsessed with it. I uh remember that one time when I found out that there are good stuff about Frans out there, it makes my heart overwhelmed and shaking in excited. Even all words that I've said, still cannot explain how much I love it. Seeing them just, somehow always made me happier when I had bad days. (And deep inside of my heart, wishing that maybe someday somewhere somehow I'll find another half of me like they did too.) That's all! Also here's little gift for you, from me :]

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Seven Days to Fall Again | Wednesday | Jeon Jungkook

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Starting out fresh. Jungkook comes over to help you but he wants to be given a chance to show you his side. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 2.6k~ Warnings: A little bit of explicit language but that's pretty much it lol a/n: I wasn't sure how I was going to go about this one because he's Wednesday and oml this is my favorite look/scene but I hopefully did alright lol let me know what you think <3 Start from the beginning

Waking up just like I did yesterday I reach over to check for him on the other side of the bed again and groan in frustration. Most days he would be up and out of the house before I even woke up when we were still together so I don't know why I keep checking. 

This was what I wanted though. I wanted peace and serenity, not watching and waiting in the silence for Jungkook to come home, just for him to barely acknowledge me. I wanted to live life on my own terms, so why am I still looking over my shoulder, expecting him to be there. 

I get out of bed and look around to make sure I have all of our dirty clothes so I can get ready to go to the laundry room downstairs. Seeing as I haven't given him a chance to come and collect everything yet I should just wash his laundry along with mine, it's the least I could do.

I walk around my room one last time to see if I could find something like a rouge sock thrown somewhere but before I'm able to even look under the bed I hear a knock on the door. 

Walking up to it and looking through the peep hole I see yet again to my displeasure Jungkook looking bright eyed and bushy tailed on the other side. "What is it this time?" I ask through the door, hoping I could find an excuse to send him away without having to face him this time. 

"Today's Wednesday right?" he says, stating the obvious. "Yes. Your point?" I ask waiting for him to continue. "I thought I would help you do the laundry. Or do it myself if you would prefer, since some of my clothes are still mixed in with yours" he says, trailing off a bit at the end. "I got it. I'll call you when they're ready" I say and walk away, hoping that'll make him leave. 

"Can I at least carry the basket for you?" he offers a bit louder, making sure I can still hear him. I wait a second or two to weigh the pros and cons of this to figure out if letting him help would be to my benefit.

Pro, I wouldn't have to go to the laundry room alone or carry the heavy basket downstairs. Con, Jungkook would be there. Pro, if that creepy guy is there like he always is then hopefully Jungkook's presence would be enough to keep him away. Con, Jungkook would assume that I need him there.

Before I'm able to come up with another sequence he knocks on the door softly again. "Noona please let me help you" he pleads quietly. He sounds so broken that my body moves on it's own before my brain can catch up and I end up opening the door and see his eyes light up immediately before I can even try to stop myself.

"Just carry the basket there and then you can leave" I say holding my hand up to stop any words he had planned to say to me. "Yes Noona" he says softly and trails after me to the bedroom, picking it up and walking towards the door again.

"Do you have everything you need?" he asks once we're about to head out, hoping to be helpful. "I'm pretty sure I do" I say looking through the bag that I always have set aside with all of the products I'll need. "Did you grab the fabric softener?" he asks, sporting a slight pout knowing that I've sometimes forgotten it. 

Huff in annoyance seeing that I have done just as he had thought, knowing me well enough to still remind me like he used to. "I'll go get it!" he says, placing the basket down next to me and running into the bathroom to grab it. I roll my eyes and lean up against the door, waiting until he runs back up to me with a bright smile. 

"Got it!" he says placing it into the basket for him to carry instead of giving it to me. "Let's go" I say in a monotone voice, trying to sound as unamused as I can so I can keep myself from smiling at him. I'm still in love with him as much as I hate to admit it but they say if you really love someone then you should let them go. 

This boy on the other hand refuses to 'let go' since he sticks to me like glue, following my every move no matter what I say. 

"Jungkook stop" I say while going up to one of the washers, putting some of the dark clothes in. "What?" he asks, feigning innocence. "I told you to leave after you carried the basket down for me". He makes no moves in response to what I've said as he is still perched up on top of one of the dryers. Legs dangling down, looking comfortable as ever he shamelessly checks me out and does so even once I've turned around to face him.

"So?" he asks clearing his throat after he's noticed how long the pause in our conversation had been, finally noticing that he's expected to respond. "So why are you still here?" I ask grabbing the empty basket and going back to continue separating the rest of our clothes.

"I said I wanted to help" he says while jumping down from the dryer and following after me. "And I told you that I didn't need your help" I say focusing on the task at hand. "Well either way I'm gonna stay" he says and starts to help, making me throw down the shirt I was holding. 

"I told you that you had to leave after you carried this down here and you agreed" I say starting to get impatient with him. "I changed my mind when I saw that old man hanging out outside. Has he ever bothered you before?" he asks quietly, trying to avoid confrontation before knowing all the facts.

"Yes he has but that doesn't concern you anymore" I say walking around the table, trying to end the conversation but he continues to follow me nonetheless. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, getting upset that I let myself go through that on my own. "Because you were never around to tell" I say, starting to raise my voice. "Baby please" he say trying to calm me down while unknowingly doing the opposite. "You do not get to call me that" I say sternly backing away from him. "I'm sorry, can we just talk about this?" he asks taking a step closer. 

"I told you I don't want to talk to you. We're done!" I state and grab some more clothes to throw in another washer. He still watches my every move and waits for me this time instead to come back towards him. He walks up to me and opens his mouth to say something once I get closer but I have to cut him off since I can feel my determination to tell him 'no' faltering. As much as I would like to say 'yes' to him, we're just not compatible. 

"I really don't have time for this Jungkook so can you please just leave?" I plead, this time going at it with a different approach. "You keep on saying that we've talked about why we should break up but you never really gave me a chance to tell you what I thought and why we shouldn't break up" he explains, showing me some sense of maturity that I had forgotten he had. 

"Just please let me fix things, I want to fix us. I promise I can change" he begs, flipping a switch in my brain. There we go, there's that sad excuse for an apology and a horrible way to start off this sort of conversation. 

"You know you've said that before right? When we had this same sort of talk about our relationship six months ago. You told me 'oh I'll stop bringing work home' and 'oh I'll make sure not to come home late'. See where that's landed us again? Our lives are not progressing or changing for the better. We're just going round and round until we get to this point again where I can't deal with it anymore. No, I'm done" I say and walk away from the table to get away from him. 

"Noona please I jus-" "Stop following me!" I say while shoving him away, catching him somewhat off guard. He stumbles back a bit and ends up stepping on the hose to one of the washers, ripping it out of the wall and making water spill out all over the floor. "Shit!" he says and quickly looks around for any sort of tap he could use to stop the flow. 

I roll my eyes at him and walk up to the exact one he's looking for and turn the water off on my own. He looks over at me with a somewhat guilty expression, "I'll go um, tell the landlord what happened" he says scratching the back of his head awkwardly and makes his way over to the office with his tail in between his legs.

I decide to just head back up to my apartment and come back to switch over the clothes later so I can get dressed and hopefully gain some more distance between Jungkook and I. If he doesn't find me in the laundry room then he would just leave right? 

My theory is proven wrong though when I hear yet again another knock at the door soon after I've gotten ready for the day. 

"What?" I ask opening the door, not even bothering to check to see who it is. I look down at his clothes, seeing that both his white shirt and grey zip up are soaked through. I gulp when I see how the shirt clings to him and shows a hint of what he's hiding underneath but I quickly flick my gaze back up to his.

"Do you think I could come in and change and well, maybe take a shower too?" he asks brushing some of his equally wet hair out of his face. 

"What happened to you?" I question, surprised as to how he could've gotten that wet. "I tried to help the landlord fix the washer but when he tried to turn the water back on it started pouring out all over again and because I was crouched down in front of it, it just..." he explains, dropping off at the end and motions at his wet clothing. 

I stand there for another second or two and drink him in. Not having seen a sight like this from him in a while it brings up old memories of nights we spent together and I ju- "So...can I come in?" he asks, cutting off my train of thought with a little lilt in his voice from clearly noticing what I was doing. 

"I- um- yeah do whatever you need to do" I say opening the door wide for him and he walks in, stopping right next to me to take his shoes off. He slips a bit when he steps out of one of them and I on instinct pull him towards me to keep him from falling leaving his hands planted on the wall above my head and his body looming over me. 

"Noona" he says in a deep voice causing a jolt of electricity to run through my body. "Huh?" I let out while looking up at him, not being able to formulate any words with this sort of proximity held between us. 

"Are you gonna let go?" he asks and I look to see the iron grip I have on his jacket on a spot that is right in front of his peck and I can now notice the rising and falling of his chest against my hand. "Oh" I say surprised at what I had done and let go of him quickly and duck out from under his arm, creating some space between us and going to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

"Have you eaten yet?" I ask busing myself with getting some ingredients together. "No" he answers and follows right behind me. "Go take a shower or whatever and I'll have some food waiting for you when you get out" I say and start cutting up some fruit. 

I look up for a second since I haven't heard a sound after I had said that and see him just leaning up against the doorway gazing at me longingly. "What are you doing?" I ask raising a brow at him. "Just admiring you" he says with a soft smile. "Jeon Jungkook you better take those wet clothes off and go take a shower or I'll throw you out right now" I say pointing the knife at him. 

He holds both of his hands up and backs away, giving me a crooked smile and chuckles as he makes his way down the hall. "Yes Noona" he says and the next sound I hear is the door to the bathroom closing behind him. 

~~~~~~

After Jungkook comes out of the shower he sits down to eat and looks up at me confused. "You're not gonna eat?" he questions taking a bite of the toast I gave him and taking a sip of orange juice. "I ate while you were in the shower" I say as I start to clean up and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Leave that there I can take care of it later" he tells me instead of offering. "You really just don't know when to quit do you?" I say and continue to scrub the cutting board so I can take some of my physical frustration out on something. "What do you mean?" he questions with a tilt of his head looking almost clueless which is even more infuriating.

"Just because I let you take a shower and made you breakfast does not mean that you get to tell me what to do. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to break up because the way you speak to me, although it might sound like something small to you, makes me feel like you're belittling me" I explain after having taken a second to gather my thoughts.

"I was just trying to help" he says looking down at his plate and not bothering to take another bite. "I know, believe me I do, but the way you say things can sound so commanding and I hate it. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself so please just stop" I finish and dry my hands off after finishing up the dishes. 

"You can just put your dishes in the sink when you're done and lock the door on your way out. I've gotta go study" I say walking back into my bedroom and closing the door behind me. I hear him leave soon after that but I can't bother to get up and check to make sure he's actually gone. 

This somehow was more painful than it was when I broke up with him. It was like we were back to how we used to be, doing the laundry, taking a shower, making breakfast, the mundane things in life. But the whole thing was tainted by the present and the choices we had made in the past led us to where we are today and I just want it all to stop. 

I can't live like this anymore. I won't.  

Tuesday / Thursday

Series Masterlist

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[rearranged-fanfic]

(Update 6/3)

Sit down a spell, weary traveler. Come and sit by my fire; bask in the warmth of the flame and rest your aching scrolling finger. You'll be sitting a while, for I have a tale to tell:

Okay, so I've had a Toshiba laptop for the better part of ten years. Maybe a little longer. That laptop has survived being struck by lightning, submerged in a bathtub, and literally having a whole bookcase topple down onto it. I thought it was immortal...

I was sadly mistaken.

About six months ago, I noticed that the typing was getting sluggish. I'd patter away at the keyboard and the letters would appear with a bit of lag. That's fine, since I use Dragon to talk-to-text for quite a bit of my writing. I really only use the keyboard for final assembly, editing, and doing quick rewrites. So, it really didn't bother me. Fastforward to April, which we will call The Great Depression. The time discrepancy between typing and having letters appear on screen became a whopping 40 seconds. Yes, I timed it.

But that was okay, because I could still use my Dragon headset.

Until I couldn't.

It would connect, but the words wouldn't appear on screen. I made sure that all of my programs were up-to-date, and that everything was working. The headset connected to my family's computers just fine. So that meant it was something wrong with mine.

Without being sure if it was the hardware or software at fault, I backed everything up to OneDrive and Google Docs.

I factory reset.

Twice. To no avail.

Over the next few days, my laptop stopped registering any keyboard input at all. It got to a point where I wasn't able to turn it on or off.

Taking it to an electronics store to get repaired didn't help, either. No luck. They said that it would be more cost effective to just buckle down and get a new one, since the age of the laptop meant that I would probably be constantly maintaining it.

My poor Toshiba died kicking and screaming, putting up a fight worthy of an epic ballad.

I saved up for a few weeks, got a new laptop, and went through the rigmarole of getting all of my programs back on it. My files are in order. My life is in shambles (but that's normal, LOL).

I DID do some story work without my computer, but... it's bad. Like, I'd die in shame if I posted anything that I thumbed in. So. Many. Spelling. Errors. How people write on their phone is beyond me. That's a talent I simply don't possess.

At this point, I'm thinking of renaming this story "HIATUS" lol. JK. But I'm seriously peeved that this happened after my last big break. Why couldn't the Depression and laptop breakdown coincide nicely? I guess that's too much to ask of the universe *Shakes fist at the sky*.

I'm creating a damn bingo card for every stupid thing that happens to me while I try to write. Because this is getting ridiculous. I broke my fingers, there was a total solar eclipse, I had a major-ish mental breakdown, and my computer bit the big one. With a free space, that's a bingo. Let's hope I don't get a blackout before the end of 2024.

I doubted the fanfiction curse. I really did. But it's apparently real. And this writer's curse has teeth, people. It bites hard.

I have my MerMay two-shot pretty well done (because I was typing it during The Great Depression), but the next chapter for REARRANGED is still rough. Crimson Chapter 3 is halfway done, but who knows how long that'll take.

The bottom line is that I'm alive and still working on the stories. The next update on this blog will be the posting of several chapters for a few different works. Fingers crossed.

Also, I'm very, very slowly answering the comments in my AO3 inbox. Some of them were pretty lengthy, so it might take a bit. Oof.

If there ever comes a time that I drop this fanfiction or am unable to continue for whatever reason, either I or my husband will be posting the entirety of my outline, as well as anything that's been pre-written for you guys to enjoy. That way there are no questions left unanswered or mysteries unsolved.

[baseballbitch116]

Don't Leave Me - Daryl - Part 2

Prompt: You are trying to earn Daryl's trust back after being broken up for 2 months and having a fling

Word Count: 3455

Warnings: Language, mild sexual content

Don't Leave Me Part 1

Masterlist // Fandoms

Getting back together with Daryl was the easy part, but earning his trust back was a whole other battle. Given that Ayden had just left from spending the night as Daryl stood in the doorway, there were definitely some things that needed to be resolved. You didn't want to spoil the mood, so you didn't bring him up until later that evening.

Daryl had been helping out with some repairs on the fence throughout the day after he left your house, so you hadn't really seen him since your little fight and makeup. The sun was setting now and you were bringing some wood from the stockpile in the garage with Rosita to start the evening fire. You spotted Daryl as you passed by the spot where he was working with Aaron. He met your eye as he held up a large piece of siding for the fence. His biceps were flexed as he held it up, and you could see the sweat glistening on his arms. Your heart skipped in your chest as you thought of how the evening could possibly play out. You wanted to make up with Daryl in the best way possible, but doubted it would happen, especially given that he knew you had just recently been with another man. Daryl didn't let it show much, but he was definitely the possessive type. You knew that he was not going to forget that fact any time soon.

You shoot him a shy grin as you walk by, which he acknowledges with a small grin of his own.

"What's that all about?" Rosita nudges you with her shoulder, smirking at you. You blush and shrug, embarrassed to have been caught. "You guys make up?" She presses.

"Yeah, earlier. Thank God. He said he was gonna go stay at the Hilltop and we got into this big fight." You explain quietly.

"That's making up?" She asks, clearly confused. You laugh, realizing you left out the actually making up part of the story.

"Well we made up after the fight."

"Ah," She shakes her head playfully. "So is he gonna move back in?" She asks, dropping her logs on top of the growing pile of wood where Eugene is arranging it to create an ideal shape for the fire.

"I dunno, I hope so. We haven't really talked since earlier. He should be done the fence once its dark. I don't wanna push him though, cuz of what I've been doing lately..." You trail off, taking in your surroundings briefly to see if Ayden was around. Rosita nods.

"Does he know?" You nod too.

"Well if he didn't before, he definitely did after this morning. He left the house as he showed up." You roll your eyes and shudder at the memory, embarrassed.

"Ooh, he definitely didn't like that."

"Yeah, I'm dreading having to elaborate on that topic to him. But I know him." You sigh, following Rosita back for one more pile of wood, passing by Daryl and Aaron again. They're well over ten yards away, so they can't hear your conversation, but you still spoke lower.

"Have you even talked to Ayden yet?" She asks, lowering her voice too. You shake your head, your gaze dropping from Daryl's back to your feet, feeling ashamed. You know that you shouldn't -- you were broken up for two months, you didn't cheat.

"I have to though. He's probably expecting to see me tonight. I don't know how to though." You start, holding your arms out for Rosita to fill with logs. "I don't know if I should tell Daryl first before I go talk to him, or if that'll cause a fight. But I know damn well if I go talk to him and he doesn't know, especially if he sees and I didn't tell him... He's gonna get mad all over again." Rosita nods.

"You should tell him first, I guess. So he doesn't think you're going behind his back." You guys start heading back. The sun has almost fully set and it is nearly dark out now. You see Daryl packing up with the other men and your hopes raise that he will come over to sit with you at the fire. You aren't entirely sure that he will, given it has been two months since you guys have been together in any way at all, other than fighting walkers or saviors. Your heart flutters as you remember how he subtly watched your back all those times too, even while you were fighting. Daryl always had your back, it didn't matter how angry he may be with you.

Speak of the devil, you saw Ayden off in the distance walking from his house that he shared with another Hilltop member. "Shit," You mutter, glancing back toward Daryl, who also locked eyes with you. "Shitttt."

"Oh boy, you got a problem." Rosita chuckles sympathetically as she drops her pile beside Eugene. Ayden starts approaching you guys and you panic.

"What do I do?!" You whisper yell, trying to drop your wood faster in hopes to get away without looking like you are running from him.

"What is the matter?" Eugene asks from where he is crouched, lighting the fire.

"Hey, guys." Ayden smiles as he stops on the other side of the unlit fire.

"Oh hey Ayden." Rosita smiles, catching your eye. You can practically feel Daryl's eyes on you, but you don't dare turn around.

"Hey," You respond, forcing a smile.

"Can we talk, Y/N?" He asks. You are a little caught off guard but figure now is as good a time as any.

"Uh yeah, of course." He starts walking over toward the side of the street, where of course it is less lit, probably for privacy. You look back toward Rosita but she shrugs and gives you a thumbs up. "What's up?" You ask, standing a few steps away from him, crossing your arms awkwardly. You know that if Daryl saw you, he's definitely watching.

"So what was up with Daryl this morning?" He asks, getting right to the point. You are caught off guard again, surprised by his forwardness.

"Oh uh, he needed to talk to me." You respond, unsure of where this was going.

"Is he trying to get you back or something?" He asks. You furrow your brows and shift your weight uncomfortably, not appreciating the way he was addressing you. "Because I gotta say I'm not super comfortable with your ex coming by the house unannounced like that. You weren't even wearing any pants." You bite your lip to keep from laughing at that point.

"So? He's seen me naked." You know that may have been a little uncalled for, but you couldn't help it. His face hardens and he exhales deeply.

"Yeah that's why I didn't like it." He reiterates.

"Yeah I got that. Look Ayden, Daryl and I are gonna try to work things out after all, so this... We can't be doing any more." You try to be nice, but to the point.

"Seriously?" He seems pissed. He probably deserves to be a little.

"I mean, yeah. This was always casual." You respond, shuffling again, anxious to finish the conversation.

"And you really wanna end this to go back to him? You think that's worth it?" Now you're getting angry.

"Hey, watch it. You don't need to start getting angry. We agreed this was just sex. That's all it was to me." You can clearly see him growing more frustrated, but you don't really care at this point.

"Yeah but I figured that was changing. Does he even kiss you? I mean that guy is serious and angry all the time-"

"Okay ima stop you there. This is none of your business and he's not angry all the time. He's the best guy I know and I am one hundred percent sure I want to be with him over any other guy left on this planet." You exclaim. "Goodnight, Ayden. I'll see ya around." You turn around on your heel and sure enough, Daryl is watching you from where he leaned against the side of the house beside the growing fire. His one leg is kicked back against the side and his large arms are crossed over his chest, an intense look on his serious face. You gulp and head over in his direction.

His eyes are on you the whole walk over to him, making you more and more anxious. He definitely read into that conversation wrong. You are expecting him to be mad. You haven't spoken since you made up this morning and the next opportunity you get to, you are talking to the guy you have been sleeping with. You'd be mad too.

"Hey," You force an anxious smile on your face, standing a few steps away from him. He takes a moment to look behind you, probably at Ayden, and then return his hard eyes to yours.

"What was that about?" He asks.

"He was asking about you. Why you came over this morning." You respond quietly, taking a step to the left to be further from the fire, trying to keep the conversation private.

"Mm." He responds, standing up from the side of the house and facing you, his back to everyone beginning to gather by the fire. "And?"

"I told him. I ended things with him. He's pissed but that's not my problem." You shrug, trying to be casual. You are really worried about saying the wrong thing and impacting his trust even worse. He looks at you for another long moment and chews his thumb nail.

"Ended what, exactly? What was that?" So he wants clarification. Okay. That's either good or bad, you can't tell yet. You drop your eyes and shuffle awkwardly, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

"Uhh, casual?" You respond.

"That a question?" He presses.

"Daryl. Come on. Don't make me say it. I ended it. As soon as I could. I don't care about him." You mutter the last part quieter, afraid he may hear - you don't want to be mean for no reason.

"So you fucked him." He says blatantly. You sigh and figure this is leading to another fight. You turn around and walk over to the porch stairs a few paces, looking back to signal him to follow you. He huffs and does so.

"Yes Daryl, I was sleeping with him. I was trying to keep my mind off you. It was casual and it didn't even work. Okay?" You mutter sternly. He stares at you again and looks at your body for a moment, then sighs.

"How many times?" He asks.

"What?"

"How many times did that asshole touch you?" He growls, stepping in closer to you. You gulp anxiously and your stomach drops.

"I don't know, why does it matter? He's never going to again." You reach out and touch Daryl's bicep lightly for just a moment, then shoving your hand back in your pocket.

"Damn right." He grumbles after a long moment. Your stomach flips again and you sigh in relief. You take a step closer to Daryl and smile up at him softly.

"You're the only one I want to be with, Daryl." You reassure him. He nods and chews his thumb again, calming down.

"I'ont want ya round him anymore." He mutters, dropping his gaze. You know he doesn't normally tell you what to do, and you're actually pretty surprised he set a boundary with you. You nod without hesitation, touching his arm again.

"Not a problem, love." You respond. He meets your eye and nods, chewing his bottom lip.

"C'mere." He pulls you in and wraps his large arms around your smaller frame, enveloping you in a comforting hug.

"I missed you so much," You sigh into his chest. When you pull away, you take his hand and guide him back over to the fully lit fire. You take a seat off to the end of the fire more and let him sit beside Rick. You scoot closer to him on the log and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. You look up and notice Ayden looking at you from where he sat across and down to the left. Daryl sees him too, but doesn't react. You press your knee into his and look across from you to Ezekiel.

"All good?" You hear Rick ask Daryl, and look over at him. He smirks at his friend who nods at him, and Rick smiles at you. "I'm glad. You're good for each other." He shoves Daryl playfully and turns his attention back to Michonne. You smile up at Daryl and he rolls his eyes, but rests his weight on his hand that he places on the log behind your butt. You get goosebumps at his close proximity and lean into his side, happy to be near him again.

You guys didn't stay long at the fire, Daryl said he was calling it a night and asked you if you were joining him. You said yes of course, but you were unsure of what this meant. Was he coming back to your place - your formerly shared house. Was he dropping you off? You followed his lead and he started walking toward your house, but you tried not to get your hopes up.

"So uh, are you gonna stay with Carol tonight or.. Do you wanna come back with me?" You ask awkwardly after he stops by the stairs of the porch. He shuffles his weight and glances around awkwardly.

"Do ya want me here?" He asks, meeting your eye.

"Yes. Of course I do. I just don't wanna push you, I know I gotta earn back your trust." You respond honestly. He shrugs and takes a step closer to you, making you holding your breath, anxious to be near him still.

"I'll stay here, then." He brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face, letting his hand linger against your cheek for a moment.

"Good," You mutter, just above a whisper. You start heading up the porch stairs after he drops his hand and look back to him, waiting for him to follow you. You leave the door open, and he comes through and closes it a moment later. The air is thicker now, there is an intensity in it. You feel the desire in you growing, but try to keep your cool. You can't tell what Daryl is really thinking. "I was gonna shower before I go to bed... I'm all sweaty." You chuckle, meeting his eye as you take your boots off. He's biting his lip as he watches you.

"Mmkay," He drawls. You head up the stairs and he follows close behind. Suddenly though, you feel awkward as you step into your formerly shared room - where you'd had another man in your bed just this morning. You look back at Daryl, who is staring at the bed, and you can tell he's thinking the same thing. Without a word, you decide to start stripping the sheets off of it. You hope that there is nothing in the room of Ayden's as you do so, making haste to get it over with.

You can feel his jealousy and anger radiating off of him, but he doesn't say or do anything other than lean on the wall and watch you. "Ya sure this is what ya want?" He finally speaks up as you finish putting new sheets on. You furrow your brows at him. "Me. Us. I'm not forcin ya. If ya wanna be with someone else..." He trails off. Your heart breaks a little and you walk over to him, taking both of his hands in yours.

"Daryl. You are the only person that I want to be with. I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I don't want anyone other than you. I promise." You kiss his bruised knuckles and he nods, shrugging his hair out of his eyes.

"I love ya, too." He mumbles, kissing your forehead. You look up into his eyes and then at his lips. He catches on and lowers his head a little, leaning in. You close the space between the two of you in a slow, sweet kiss. You reach up and twist your fingers into his hair, pulling his body against yours. His hands trail down your back to your hips and he holds you close, deepening the kiss. He suddenly turns the two of you around and presses you against the wall, gently, but with need. You drag your nails down his biceps and groan into his mouth before pulling away. "I should really shower. I feel gross." He leans his forehead against yours and chuckles.

"Ain't shower out on the road." He reminds you, trailing his fingers over your arms, sending shivers down your spine.

"Yes and I hated it." You giggle. "I'll be five minutes." You smile.

"Fine. I'll get one too, then." He grumbles, knowing how you liked to be clean. He didn't care, but he knew he was sweaty and covered in dirt from working on the fence all day - so he would clean up for you.

You took a quick shower like you promised and actually beat him back to the room. You dimmed the lights and put on one of his shirts that he had left here and panties, knowing how he loved you like this. You bit your lip unintentionally when Daryl stepped into the doorway shirtless, his black cargo pants hanging relatively low on his torso, showing off his defined body and v-line. He shook his hair like a dog playfully and you laughed. "That my shirt?" He asks, a smirk on his lips. You nod your head and slowly walk over to him. He grabs your hips and just when you lean up to kiss him... You hear a loud knock at the door downstairs.

You guys look at one another in confusion, and then Daryl's face hardens. "Better not be.." He mutters and lets go of you, turning around and heading down the stairs, still shirtless. You gulp and follow after him anxiously. Sure enough, it is Ayden on the other side of the door. Daryl throws the door open, chucking the towel in his hand off to the side aggressively.

"Oh, how nice." Ayden rolls his eyes, looking around Daryl at you. You feel exposed once again, standing there in Daryl's shirt and no pants, in front of both of these men who have seen you naked. "I'm here for my shit." He grumbles. Daryl looks back at you and then back at Ayden.

"Couldn'ta just asked for it back tomorrow? Hm?" You touch Daryl's shoulder.

"What stuff?" You ask, confused what he is even talking about. Is this just a ploy to start a fight?

"My clothes and my hat." He grumbles, avoiding your eye.

"Fine." Daryl practically growls, moving back and taking you with him, behind his back a bit. You tug at his shirt on your body, but it won't cover you anymore. Daryl glances down at your legs and as Ayden heads up the stairs, he grabs your jacket that is hung on the wall hook and hands it to you, giving you a possessive look. You quickly pull the jacket on over your body and close it over your chest, trying to cover up more. You both head up the stairs and Daryl watches Ayden gather his stuff in the corner of the room that you hadn't even known was there. He walks out of the bedroom past Daryl, barely missing shoving his shoulder, and glares at you. "Nice outfit." He spits, looking down at your legs. Daryl takes a step at him and balls his fists.

"Keep walkin." He growls.

"Daryl."

"Enjoy, man! I sure did." He hollers without turning around as he heads out the door, slamming it behind him. You wince and feel embarrassed and angry.

"Daryl," You repeat, worried about his reaction. He looks down at you for a long moment, making you more anxious, before he grabs you by your bare thighs and picks you up with ease. You let out a yelp and grab onto his shoulders as he carries you into the bedroom, where he places you on the bed and looks down at you, his legs between both of yours.

"Ya okay?" He asks, pausing for a moment to take in your reaction. You grin and nod, which makes him grin. He pulls you up to sit and starts taking the jacket off of you... And the rest of the night was perfect, with no more interruptions.

[journey-to-the-attic]

Hi Kin. I wanted to ask, how did you manage things like writer's block or creative burnout while writing JTTA? I'm midway through a longfic now and it's kind of exhausting. I feel like I'm whining but I barely get any comments or asks or anything.

hi anon! honestly i'm not sure if i was the right person to ask this, because i... kind of didn't? as in, i didn't really have these problems - boring answer, i know!

i got lucky because i hit a sweet spot where the base story and characters were strong, but with just enough gaps in plot, worldbuilding, development, etc. such that the momentum of filling everything in carried me through the whole process. but there were definitely a lot of occasions where i sat there thinking "okay i have no idea what to do now"

in those cases, often i had to just step back and ruminate on it for a little while - i've pretty much constantly got little ideas bouncing around my head, and sometimes they hit each other like snowballs and form into more fully-fledged plot points, scenes, dialogue, so on. i try to keep track of these in notes apps, personal discord channels, etc, and dip into them if i'm stuck on something!

not sure if your fic is for obey me, but this could still apply even if not - with all the pop quizzes and devilgrams that put the characters in a bunch of new contexts, it's helpful seeing how that character's static vs dynamic traits persist/change depending on them, and often that'll give you inspiration as well. depending on what you've got available, you could browse through source material, or brainstorm aus, whichever you enjoy most

i'm really not sure HOW i've stuck with obey me for so long, but somehow it's just stuck with me. i don't remember being so invested in it before jtta, so that's probably why, but i just really love these guys, and i suppose that's why i never burnt out of it? i think it was also because i knew what story i wanted to tell, and i really wanted to make sure ik got her happy ending, and that carried me through as well

seriously, though - do take breaks. every writer's mileage varies, so take a step back whenever you need to. writing fics should be fun! sometimes it does feel like a chore, and it becomes more like 'the only thing i hate more than writing is not writing', but it happens to all of us. sometimes you've just got to rest until your second wind comes along

in terms of comments and such... yeah, it's a tough one! the unfortunate thing is that a vast majority of readers - even if they really enjoyed your writing! - won't leave a comment. don't take this as a direct reflection on your writing! often the reader can't think of what to say, is too shy, or quite simply forgot

again though... i'm not sure if i'm the best person to ask for advice here! i started publishing jtta without much expectation for an audience, given the genre of game it's written for, so any attention was more a nice surprise than anything. i suppose that, later on, when the fic was more well-established, i did start holding some expectation of response - and it really is tough when you don't get as much of one as you were hoping for

i've seen people talking about how the ask culture on tumblr has died down a lot in recent times, so i'm sure you're not the only one feeling like this! all i can suggest is trying to find more friends (mutuals?) and... networking, i guess? i've seen advice saying to share your fic within communities of writers, too

i can't honestly say if these things'll work, because i'm very bad about interacting with a wider fandom in anything - i usually keep to myself, so often i don't have much of an expectation for how and when people come chat. as in real life, i'm only a chatterbox when approached first haha

i'm not sure how helpful this has been, but i'm rooting for you! if you'd like to share your fic here, please do - though i understand if that's something you'd rather keep to yourself as well.

creating things is a joy - it might take some searching to find a circle, but the beauty of the internet is that you will, somewhere out there! wishing you the best ^^

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No Following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 12

*Author's note*

Now that I'm back from my mini-vaca at Hershey Park, I can once again start posting for this story again. Now I've officially ended the DOTPOTA movie and so after I post up the last chapter I've got for ya'll today, you will see events that'll play out between DAWN & WAR. But be prepared, for once War starts, I'll really be pulling on the ANGST for this story.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@waddles03

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queen-paladin

@psychosupernatural

___________________________________________________

My head was spinning with too many thoughts that night so I didn’t really sleep at all.  Just lay there in my tent with Toboe’s head resting over my stomach and my hand stroking through his red fur.  His ears soon perked up as he woke up and let out a curious grunt before peeking outside the tent.  I crawled after him and stood over him and saw a sight I’d never thought I’d never see again.

A bond between Man and Ape in a positive light.  Alexander and Maurice were both sitting side by side while Alex was reading to Maurice his graphic novel.  Pointing out each word slowly and telling him what ‘hanging out’ meant.  Maurice seemed intrigued by the word as he began grunting and waving his arm about.

It brought me back to the days when Caesar was a young chimp and I was teaching him how to read.  He always got so excited when it came to reading and learning new words, sometimes you’d have to wrestle a book away from him.  I smiled at the sight as I scratched Toboe’s ear and he let out a few pleasured grunts and huffs.

If only people could see that any animal, no matter what they are aren’t just mindless beasts. But intelligent, gentle creatures whose soul can reflect your own.

I patted at his side and he allowed me to come out first before following me.  Maurice and Alexander soon looked up at me and I gave them a soft smile.

“Don’t mind me, just needed to stretch myself out.” I reached up to the sky as some of my bones began popping back into place.  Maurice then signed to me.

‘Caesar is allowing you until nightfall to finish your work.’

“Tell him thank you for us. And succeed or fail, we’ll leave and never come back. As agreed.” I told him.

“What did he say?” asked Alexander.

“We have until nightfall to finish up with the dam. So we better get started now.” Everyone soon got out of their tents and we all gathered up the tools and equipment we needed this time to get the generators working as well as the pipes running that were now accessible thanks to the apes and Toboe who cleared out the debris.

We arrived back at the dam and we all got to work until nightfall came.  Currently Ellie and I were standing on top of the stairway that lead down to the tunnels where Malcolm was preparing to start the pipes back up in order to switch on the power, while the rest of the guys were triple checking to make sure the hydro’s were ready to go.

“We’re lucky we got as much time as we did today.” Stated Ellie.  “Even if this was all for nothing, we can at least tell Dreyfus we tried.”

“It won’t matter in the end.” I told her.

“Lin.”

“You know what humans are really like Ellie. At the first sign of trouble or at the thought that we’ve lost control, we retaliate with violence and rage. That’s what sets us apart from the apes. At least they have a semblance of peace and will only attack if provoked. Humans, we don’t need a reason to kill, to rape, to seek out war. We just do it because we can.”

“What happened to you to make you think this way Lin?” Ellie asked me.

“Let’s just say…..there’s a part of me you wish you never met. And I hope you never do. Or the people who turned me into the woman I am now.” Before Ellie could say anything else, the loud humming of the hydro generators surrounded the entire dam.  The continuous humming and whirring sound gave all of us hope but we still waited another few minutes for something to happen.

However after two minutes of continuous running, there was no doubt about it now.  We got it working.  Soon the overhead lights above started flickering for a bit until finally they stayed on.

“It worked.” Gasped Ellie.  “It worked!” she then ran off to go call Malcolm.  My throat went dry as I hoped that the power would eventually reach the city and that Dreyfus’ threat of a war would be forgotten.

As the sky grew darker, we soon received word from the ape scouts that there was light shining within the forests.  Caesar along with some of his trusted apes guided us down the mountain and back onto the main road where we came upon the old gas station.  The entire place lit up with power. 

By god it was a miracle.  Kemp and Alexander raced inside the gas station and while Alexander was looking around inside to see what remained inside, Kemp went straight to the old record player that was by the register and began looking through various records.  We watched as he picked one out and placed it into the record player.

The speakers briefly gave a feedback sound before the gentle strums of an acoustic guitar sounded off playing a song.  It was a country song and even though I wasn’t a huge country fan, it still felt good to hear music that wasn’t the Star Spangled banner. Ellie and Malcolm could hardly believe that they were finally hearing music again, Foster smiled widely and began doing a little dance while inside Kemp and Alexander cheered and started dancing with each other.

As the artist’s voice continued to sing the song, Caesar urged his horse from the front entrance of the gas station towards us.  He soon stopped before Malcolm and Malcolm said.

“It worked. Well, at least here it did, we’ll know when we get back to the city.” Caesar looked back towards the repowered gas station, his green eyes shimmering against the lights before he turned back to Malcolm and he told him.

“Trust.” He extended out his hand to Malcolm and he accepted Caesar’s hand.  Toboe looked up at me, his ears softly twitching at the sound of the music playing.  I scratched his head before standing on the other side of Caesar.  He then turned to me and I said with a grateful smile.

“Thank you. We really couldn’t have done this without you and your people’s help.” My heart sunk as tears built behind my eye lids but I refused to let them out.  I won’t let the final moment between Caesar and I be one with tears again.

I soon felt his finger slowly lift my chin just like he did when we said our goodbyes all those years ago.

“Follow.” He said to me.  I tilted my head before he touched my bicep and pulled me closer to his horse.  I looked up at him and he gave me a look as if he were telling me to get on.  I adjusted myself before mounting onto Caesar’s horse, scooting up until my chest met with his back.  He turned back to Malcolm and said to him, “Follow.”

His horse soon moved forward and Malcolm and the others followed shortly behind us.  But just as we left the gas station, I took notice of how Toboe briefly stopped before racing off in a whole new direction further down the road.

“Toboe? Toboe!” I called out.  But he didn’t return to my command.  Caesar turned to me wondering if he should stop but I figured the pup must’ve found a rabbit or something.  Had been awhile since he’s eaten and since he couldn’t hurt any of the apes, his hunger must finally be getting the better of him now.  “It’s fine, he’ll be fine.”

‘You are sure?’ he signed to me.

“He’s gotta learn on his own right? And I gotta give him room to grow into the wolf he is. Let’s continue onto camp.” Caesar nodded and we proceeded onward.

Now I had thought we’d be heading back to our camp to pack everything up so that we could head for the city to check and see if power had been fully restored all the way to them.  But Caesar surprised all of us when he took us to his home.  We first got off his horse before helping me off and lead me in first followed by Ellie, Malcolm, Alexander, Foster and then Kemp.

The apes all looked at the new members who had never been here before with curious eyes and anxious gibbering.  Caesar lead us towards an incline near his family nest and helped me and Ellie climb up it safely until we reached the top of it.  As soon we all got to the top Caesar pointed outward and said to us.

“The….lights.” and there it was.  The San Fransisco skyline.  Jesus I had almost forgotten just how beautiful the city was when it was lit up at night.  My breath was taken away by the sight of it all, oh if only Will, Caroline and grandpa were here to see this.  Soon mine, Caesar’s Malcolm’s and Ellie’s attention was drawn upward to the sound of a baby chimp gibbering.

We looked up and there stood Caesar’s wife Cornelia standing and walking like nothing had been wrong with her.  Ellie you did it again.  I felt Caesar’s hand take mine and he gave me a soft nod as he smiled warmly at me.  He then lead me further up the incline to where Cornelia was and as he walked up to her he signed to her.

‘Feeling better?’ Cornielia nodded as Caesar cupped the back of her head and the two lovers pressed their foreheads together.  I almost felt like third wheel but that’s when both Ape King and Queen turned their attention to me.

‘Hello.’ I signed to Cornelia.  ‘My name is Lin. I’m a fri…..’

‘My sister.’ Caesar then signed.  My heart skipped a beat, old feelings of being referred to as Caesar’s older sister came flooding back as Caesar continued to sign to his wife with a warm smile, ‘Lin is my big sister. She was the one who played the violin for us.’

Wait so—Cornelia was at the San Bruno shelter too? Cornelia walked up to me, cradling the baby in her arms as she looked at me softly hooting.  The light from the torches reflected her warm green eyes before she placed a hand behind my head and pressed my forehead to hers.

She hooted lovingly as her hand continued to hold my head to hers.  I closed my eyes and accepted the offer and I even placed my hand behind her head.  After we separated she signed to me.

‘Thank you. And I remember your music. Gave me comfort when I was taken to human lab.’ I looked at her empathetically and signed.

‘I’ll take credit for the concert. But the healing all goes to my friend down there.’ I signed to her.  The baby chimp soon caught my attention as it reached out to me wanting me to hold him.  Cornelia then transferred her baby over to me.

I was nervous at first but she was adamant as she helped me hold her baby in the correct manner.

‘Deserve to meet youngest nephew properly.’ Nephew? Wow….I softly laughed as a sense of pride stirred inside of me that I hadn’t felt since the first day Caesar was brought into my life and uncle Will and I stayed with him in that steamy hot bathroom.  The baby took a hold of my finger as he curled against my chest and I looked to Caesar and said to him.

“Reminds me of you when you were first born. Clingy and adorable.” Caesar let out a huff as he signed with a cross look.

‘Don’t embarrass me.’

“I’m your big sister it’s my job.” I teased mockingly to which both Cornelia and I laughed as I transferred the baby back to his mother.  Caesar then lead the three of us to another part of the incline as Cornelia and I got better acquainted with each other.

‘You still perform music? I’d love for my sons to hear it one day.’ She signed to me.

‘Unfortunately I haven’t played music in the last 10 years. So many bad things happened to me and I….lost the music within me.’ I signed to her.  She hooted sadly.

‘Never truly gone. You once said that to us. Even though ape not be able to produce music like human, music still lives on inside you.’

“I knew I shouldn’t have given you guys such an important lesson in music. Getting my own words thrown back at me is not cool.” I verbally said.  Soon our attention turned towards a familiar young male blue-eyed ape.

He looked past me to his mother and signed as he looked at her in shock.

‘Mother…?’ the two of them walked towards each other and Cornelia reached out and lovingly stroked the back of her eldest son’s head.  Before he went in and tightly embraced her, the two of them rocking back and forth as Cornelia stroked her son’s head.

I could understand what this young ape felt, the last time he saw his mother she was at death’s doorstep and now to see her in picture-perfect health once again, he must’ve been so relieved to know that his mom was going to be okay.

After they separated, Cornelia gestured over to me and she told her son.

‘Go meet your aunt Lin.’ The young male ape looked between his mother and me skeptically.  Cornelia let out a firm hoot before pointing at me again.  The young male chimp slowly walked over to me and he looked me right in the eye.

‘You stopped man from killing me at river…..why?’ I had a feeling that’d be the first question he’d ask me.  I remembered the confliction on his face after that day, after his father and Koba fought at the dam.  But before I could sign back to him, a loud gunshot pierced the night air.

We all turned and I saw how Caesar was holding his left shoulder, just barely above his heart as he remained still.

“Caesar?” I softly called out to him.  He didn’t answer, only fell forward before disappearing into the dark abyss below the incline.  “CAESAR!!!! NOO!!!!” I cried out as I dove over the edge of the incline desperate to find him.

A panic soon rang out as the apes all cried out, Cornelia’s heartbroken cries shattered my heart as I desperately tried to find Caesar’s body but he was nowhere to be seen.  No, no, no he can’t be gone! He just can’t be gone! I won’t lose him again! From the light of the moon I soon saw a familiar shape resting on top of a log.

A colt M4A1 rifle.  My whole body went numb before I let out a rageful cry.  I ran down the incline and frantically searched until I found Malcolm and the others.  I saw nothing but red as I raced towards them and tackled Malcolm to the ground.

“WHOA LIN!” Ellie exclaimed.

“LIN WHAT THE HELL!?” cried out Foster and Kemp.

“WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS CARVER!?!?” I roared in Malcolm’s face.

“He-he’s down at the trucks where we left him. He….wait did he…..”

“Caesar’s dead! He’s dead because of you! BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T SAY NO IN BRINGING HIM!! IT’S YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT!” I roared as I slammed him into the ground repeatedly (much like Caesar did to Koba yesterday) but just before I could punch his face in, I felt a hand grab my wrist and when I went to turn and attack whoever it was that stopped me, my other wrist was grabbed and I was now staring into the eyes of Maurice.

He grumbled and pulled me off of Malcolm as the panicked apes finally brought the weapon into the light.

“HUMAN. GUN!” exclaimed a young male voice through his hoots.

“Run.” Maurice said as he looked to all of us.  Malcolm and the others immediately went running out of the colony.  I went to go after them but Maurice held me back as he cupped my face.  ‘Must not engage. Save yourself first. Koba will find you and kill you.’

“HUMANS. KILL. CAESAR!” Koba’s voice soon roared.  I turned and saw as the scarred bonobo began rallying all the apes to him as he held the very gun that was used to kill Caesar. “BURN. APE HOME!!” I finally took notice of how their sacred home was now turning into nothing but flames.  “GO! GET THEM! APES MUST ATTACK. HUMAN CITY!” I turned to Maurice worried for his safety when he told me.

“Run nightingale.” His deep, rumbling voice sent shivers down my spine but I obeyed his order and raced out as Koba’s voice continued to roar in anger and rage.

“FIGHT BACK! COME, FIGHT FOR CAESAR!!” I raced out the backway and through the darkness I could hear the sounds of all the apes running after me.

Running would be pointless at this point, I needed to find a place to hide.  I ran and jumped over boulders and hills to try and put more distance between me and the apes until I finally found a good tree trunk to hide under. 

I leapt over the tall roots and buried myself into the trunk of the tree and watched as all the apes hopped over me and raced on ahead to find Malcolm and his team, as well as head to San Fransisco to begin the war between Humans and Apes.

I held my hand over my mouth and nose and tried to keep as silent as I possibly could as the endless amount of apes continued to run past my tree.  The roots shaking as dust and dirt sprinkled down on top of me.

The only thing I could do was hide and pray that none of them turned around to search the roots.  I spent another sleepless night waiting until I heard the last of the apes leave the forest completely.

[devilishmango]

Kenneski [DEVLOG 5/5/2024]

Hey guys!

This isn't an update to Kenneski, but I just wanted to bring you guys a devlog so you know how things are going and what to expect. ☺️

I'm about half-way through chapter 2, which is exciting. I'm not entirely sure where the chapter is going to end up, because I only have a basic outline of how I want the entire story to go. [Yes, I know, I'm horribly disorganized 😅] So for now, I'm just kind of going with the flow, and waiting for that pivotal, important part to pop up and stuff. The good part about that, though, is that I'm not afraid to go off on different paths and stuff for you to take. I think that'll definitely be fun to play through the story multiple times to see all that you can find out in each one.

Anyway! Down to more technical stuff- I rewrote the beginning of chapter 1, and added a bunch of new coding and whatnot. So, when the time comes to play chapter 2, you will need to re-play the entire thing. But, you will definitely want to, because I've improved a lot of different parts in the first chapter!

Relationship and character-wise, you get to learn A LOT more about each RO, because you get to spend some quality time with each of them. I'm already so excited to get to the romantic parts, but I have to keep restraining myself and let the relationships develop naturally. This can't be a PWP 😂 [I mean, if you guys are interested in some PWP side-stories, I can definitely oblige you... 👀] You also get to learn a little more about MC, one thing being kind of a major spoiler so I can't say anything about it for now. You'll just have to wait to find out about it when I upload the demo!

SO! Speaking of uploading the demo: I'm hoping to have chapter 2 finished by the beginning of June... But it may reach towards the middle of June. It all depends on how much writing I can get done THIS month. 🥲

Anyway, that's all I have for now! I'll hopefully get you the update next month. See you guys then!

CURRENT WORD COUNT: 30,635 45,440 [+14,805]

Also, as promised, there's a little sneak peak under the cut!

With a quick glance back at the door, I make sure no one is watching before I quickly pick up the little dagger and hold it in my good hand, feeling the weight and cold metal against my palm. Then, I realize that I have no idea how I’m going to keep this weapon hidden away in my sleeve without it falling out… That is, until I see a few pieces of thin rope lying on the floor.  Deftly, I pick the rope up and place the cold dagger against my left arm, careful of the stitches. Then, after some finessing, I’m able to wrap the rope around my arm a few times, before tying the ends into a knot with the help of my free hand and teeth. After I pull my sleeve down, I can feel a sigh of relief escape my lungs when I realize that the sleeves are //just// loose enough that the dagger is unnoticeable. Feeling rather proud of myself, and a little reassured that I now have a weapon, I continue my search of the storage closet.  Farther into the storage closet, I can barely see anything except for vague silhouettes on the wall. There seems to be some sort of handle, but I’m unsure what it’s connected to. Is it another door? Why would there be a separate entrance to this storage closet? Where does it go?  I stumble my way into the dark, my good arm out to guide me, before I suddenly stop dead in my tracks. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as a cold breeze drifts through the storage closet, bringing along //something else//… A feeling. A feeling that I’m being watched.  Looking around is pointless, as I can’t see much of anything. But that means I’m unsure if there’s actually someone in this closet with me, or if I’m just being paranoid. And if I can’t see my surroundings, how do I know if it’s safe to retreat?  Something catches my attention- a small movement in the back corner of the storage room. I squint my eyes, trying to see into the inky blackness… only to realize that I’m staring at a //figure//. Whoever this figure is, it’s hard to see them clearly. They must be wearing dark clothes since they blend into the darkness so well…

[stars-mischief]

I think i’m in love with your oc and its the darn puns. I’m a sucker for terrible jokes

aww, thanks, nonnie!

hehe~~

let me tell another one, just for you, nonnie!~

what does corn say when it gets complimented?

aw, shucks!~~

i'm glad you guys like my jokes!

but.. don't be afraid to tell me if i say too many, okay?

i'm all for having fun - but i don't want to annoy anyone.

SNIFFLES. THANK YOU so so much.

you really don't know how much it means to me to see people who actually like star.

on more than one occasion both he and i worry that everything going on here - with all the jokes and how much we interact with others - that it tends to get a bit annoying after a while.

with that in mind, if we ever sent an ask and you either a) don't feel like answering it or b) don't want to answer it - you don't have to! plain and simple.

i will never hold it against someone for choosing not to answer something (whether it no longer fits or you simply can't think of a response. i know there are only so many times you can say "haha, that's funny!" before it feels more like a chore than actually laughing at something..)

chances are.. we probably even forgot it was sent - to be honest.

star.. i don't know how to explain it but he's different from my other little guys.

i was so terrified to bring him forward and let him meet everyone

but, i did and.. i honestly think that was one of the best decisions i've ever made.

and, to think, none of this would've happened if it hadn't been for rott and his sam account. (honestly he deserves compensation for how many times star interacts on a regular basis LOL. rotts, if you're reading this, thank YOU in particular for putting up with us! gold star for you ⭐️)

i'm really grateful for everyone & their continued support and love of my silly guy.

there are moments when.. i get so caught up in my own head that i forget people CAN and DO view the things i make positively. reminders like this mean so, so much to me - yoj don't even know.

i know you probably think "oh, he just says this to everyone" and, sure, yeah, but that doesn't make it any less true.

i really can't thank you guys enough for the kind interactions you've shown star (he appreciates them too) and i know he loves each and every one of you so much.

the interactions - whether it be the platonic ones from anons/friends or the romantic ones from his partners - all mean so much to me (and him).

we get so excited to long onto this account and see all your asks - even if it takes some time to answer them. we really do appreciate everything that gets sent in or the little notes you leave in the comments or reblogs. you guys are great.

so.. i hope you guys love him just as much.

there's still so much that hasn't been uncovered about him and i really do want to share it with you guys, but you have to find the specific things that'll make them happen.

ANYWAY. you didn't come to hear me yap so.. i'll stop rambling now. but tldr: both star and i are so grateful for all of the love you guys have shown him. it means a lot.

love you guys /p

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: Anon request - “Heey, i hope u're good and i hope u're accepting requests. I'm in love with ur works and i was wondering if u could write a very smutty piece about Sam and the reader being best friends (she's living with snc, bc they've been best friends all their lives). Maybe lately both Sam and the reader start noticing each other a lot more than before, like y/n is studying one night and Sam comes back from his run, they have a late night snack and it's all blushy and cute. But the upcoming days there's a lot of sexual tension between them until Sam just decides to put an end to their friendship to become more. I hope it's ok ♥️”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, angst, hair pulling, choking, scratching, oral (f rec), fluff with filth

Word Count: 5.7k | Not Edited Yet

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You sat on the couch, lap top on your lap as you typed up your paper for school. It was quiet since Sam and Colby went out to meet someone about a possible exploration, so you put your headphones on to drown out the silence.

You were too zoned out on getting this thing written that you completely missed the text Sam sent which stated that they would be home soon.

After ten more minutes of typing, you close your lap top and stand up, letting out a scream as they laugh, "Honey, we're home." Colby says with a laugh and you sigh, "I see that."

Sam smiles at you, and you hated when he did that, mainly because it made you fall more in love with him, and you couldn't do that.

You guys were best friends.

Emphasis on the friend's part. You knew them, pretty much your whole life, and even though they haven't ever really said it, you knew that it would even be weird to talk about it, or so you thought.

"How was the meeting thing?" You ask as they walk over towards you. Sam shrugs, "They're going to let us in, it's just a matter of finding out when exactly." He plops down onto the couch, "Get that paper done?"

You sit back down, opening your computer back up, "Almost. I need like two more paragraphs."

"What's it on again?" Colby asks turning your computer towards him, "Geoengineering technology? You are way too smart for your own good."

You laugh and you can see Sam staring at you lovingly but you don't want to get your hopes up, "Yeah, sometimes I wonder if that's why I get headaches, too much knowledge up here."

Colby laughs, "You know you don't have to go to school right? You can just fully commit to joining the xplr squad."

You roll your eyes, "We've been friends for how many years? I've been a part of that squad before it was even thought of."

Sam laughs as Colby nods while laughing, "You got me there. I'll give you that one." You smirk and look over at Sam, "Did you beat your time this morning? I wanted to ask but I had to leave before you got back."

Sam sighs, "yes and no. I did but not by much, so.."

"You'll get there. You have plenty of time." You smile at him and stand up, "I have an evening class tonight so I'll see you guys after five or so." You walk up to change, and right before you enter your room, Colby speaks, but it's not as quiet as he thinks, "You gotta tell her, bro."

You perk up, curious as to what they're talking about.

"There's no way. No, Colby. I can't just spring that on her." Sam argues back and his voice goes quiet, making it hard for you to hear.

You shake the thoughts out of your head and continue in to get dressed. You throw on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and one of the new hoodies from Sam's collection.

You grab your backpack and head back downstairs, "I'll see you guys later, do you want me to grab dinner on my way back?"

"Yeah, that'll be good." Colby looks at you and nods, "Get whatever, you know what we get." You smile and nod, "Okay."

Your eyes meet Sam's and he smiles at you. He loved seeing you in his own merch. You are his favorite model, but you didn't know that, for sure.

Sam's eyes stay on you as he watches you search for your keys,"by the microwave, y/n." You look over and lo and behold they're there, "Thank you!"

He yells out a quick, "Welcome!" as you leave the house. You make your way to your car, the thoughts running rabid through your mind,

He's got a girlfriend and he's going to ask me to move out because he knows I like him and it's weird.

You get in, sitting there for a moment before starting your car and driving to campus.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"It's not weird at all." Your friend Lacey says leaning back in her chair, "You've been friends for a while, and I always say the friendship stage is the most important thing before dating someone. And you my friend, have it perfect."

You sigh, "But the way they were talking I just... I feel like he's going to tell me he is talking to someone and he knows I like him and- Gahhhh." You groan quietly and take a deep breath as she leans over, "I've witnessed you and Sam together in a room full of people, and I can tell you that he doesn't look at anybody the way he looks at you."

"Really?" You ask, her words giving you a little bit of hope and she nods, "Really. And just a little f.y.i, best friends don't look at each other the way you and Sam do."

You smile slightly as you think about what she said, "I just don't know how to tell him, like.. my anxiety about the friendship ending gets the best of me because I don't want to lose him, and I know him and Colby are a package deal, so I'd lose them both and it just-"

"Take a breather. Why don't you talk to Colby about it? I'm sure he knows a lot of their end."

You shake your head, "I couldn't do that. I feel like Sam is the one I need to talk to or not at all.. I just.. I just have to get over myself."

As your professor starts talking, you keep thinking about everything, but little did you know, Sam and Colby weren't editing videos like you thought, they were having almost the same conversation you and Lacey were having.

Growing up, the adults would pick on you and Sam for claiming to be just friends, and for a while there, it was really true, but as you got older, the truth was covered up.

Each video you have done with them, the fans have pointed out things about you and Sam. Some would be simple comments, basically what Lacey said, about how you look at each other.

Then others would be making a big deal out of you picking to run to Sam after something scared you during the investigation. Most of the time it's because Sam is right there, you'd run to Colby too if you needed to, but who are you kidding, Sam is your safe place so of course you'll run to him first.

You never commented back to it, because that would just lead to more confusing things, so you just brush it off most of the time. You've never say anything to Sam about it because you know more than likely already seen them, and if he hasn't said anything, why should you?

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You pull your phone out as you walk to your car, texting the group chat, I'm just going to go somewhere close, I have to study for a stupid test tomorrow and I don't want to be up all night.

You toss your backpack into the passenger seat and get in, reading Colby's reply, that's fine

Sam replies after, whatever is easiest for you.

You set your phone down and start driving, going where you need to go before heading home.

You see someone walking towards your car which makes you kind of skeptical about getting out. You reach up to lock your doors until you see the big X on the front of it, letting out a sigh of relief.

You push open your door and lean your head out, "Don't scare me like that."

"Like what?" Sam asks as he pushes his hood down, giving you a smile. You get out and stand up, "Walking towards my car when it's almost dark out with your hood up."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just threw it on, I figured you'd need help carrying stuff in." He takes your backpack from your hands and slings it over his shoulder, "Anything else?"

You shake your head, "No I can get the rest. Thank you."

He nods, smiling at you for a few seconds before cleaning his throat, "Colby is hungry so we should probably get back in there."

"Of course he is." You laugh, grabbing everything else before walking inside with Sam. You wanted to blurt it out on your way up to the house, but it was like you couldn't speak at all.

"Finally." Colby teases as you walk in through the door that Sam held open for you, "Thanks." You mumble quietly, going back to normal volume when talking to Colby, "There was a line, I'm sorry."

He laughs as he points to you, "Don't let it happened again."

You salute him, "Yes sir, Colby sir."

"Yeah that's right." He laughs, making you laugh and Sam smiles as he enjoys how comical you and Colby are.

After dinner, you find yourself on the floor of the living room with your books spread out across the rug, "I'm so screwed." You mumble to yourself, "I should know this."

"Have trouble there Einstein?" Sam asks as he walks over to the couch and sits down. You look up at him and nod, "This stupid surprise test, that actually isn't a stupid surprise because I knew about it, I just forgot.." you laugh slightly, "Will be the death of me."

"Just relax, don't overdo it. When was the last time you took a break?"

Him being so caring makes it harder, no one has ever cared about you the way Sam does, "dinner."

"Y/n that was two hours ago." Sam laughs slightly and sighs, "Take a break, go shower or something. Reset and come back."

You push yourself off of the floor and sit, "Maybe you're the one who's too smart for their own good." You stand up, stretching and Sam can't help but notice your shirt ride up your stomach a little bit.

He shakes his head as his voice is low, "If that was the case then.." he trails off as Colby comes down the steps, "you're having a party and didn't invite me?"

"Yeah, you can help me study. We'll call it a study buddy party." You laugh as Colby stands right back up after sitting down, "No thanks. I'm out."

You laugh and toss your pen down, "I'm going for a shower anyway. I need a break." You hike it up the stairs and when you look back, Sam looks away from you quickly.

You look away smiling and make your way to the bathroom.

After a while of being upstairs, finding things to do to avoid going backstairs to your books, you sit down on your bed and lay back.

You think about what you want to say to Sam, or more of what you need to say.

You decide you're going to talk to him. Right now. You get up, and walk down the steps to find Colby sitting alone on the couch.

"Where's Sam?" You look around as you walk over to Colby. He looks up at you, "Said he was going for a run."

You look at the clock, "it's almost ten pm?" You furrow your brows, Sam usually never goes on late night runs like this, "Is he okay?"

A smirk grows on Colby's face and you point, "No. no. Don't even."

He holds his hands up, "My lips are sealed." You roll your eyes and look at your books, hoping to change the subject, "Can you just help me study for a little bit?"

He sighs and sits up, "Fine."

An hour goes by and Colby went up to work on some editing, leaving you alone in the kitchen as you worked on making yourself a snack.

You whispered questions to yourself, answering them, then celebrating when you got the right answer.

You hear the door open and Sam walks in, freezing slightly as he wasn't expecting you to be up, "Oh, hey."

"Hey." You smile and turn back towards your book, "How was the run?"

He shuts the door, shrugging as he sets his phone and headphones on the counter, "Not what I expected really."

"You want to talk about it?" You go back to putting peanut butter on your banana slices and he walks over, looking over your shoulder as he reaches around and takes one, "i don't know how to talk about it."

You nod slowly, "I know that feeling."

He leans against the counter, "We've been friends for a while, y/n."

You glance over at him, a small smile resting on your lips, "Longer than a while, Sam." He chuckles and nods, "a lot longer than a while."

You set your knife down, licking your lips as you work your the courage to ask what you want to ask most.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Sam asks, reading you like an open book, "You can always talk to me. Or Colby. You know we both care so much about-"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

He's taken aback slightly, "What?" He laughs and shakes his head, "No, no. I don't." He looks up at you, crossing his arms, "What makes you think that I have a girlfriend?"

You turn towards him slightly, "When I went up to get ready before my class.. I heard Colby tell you that you have to tell her, and I didn't.." you trail off, sighing as you close your eyes, "Nevermind."

Sam stares at you for a few seconds, "Oh.." he chuckles, "That.. yeah no.. that was about a girl who I've been talking to.." he follows up quickly, "..but not in the way you think."

You nod, your heart sinking slightly, "Ah, I see."

"Yeah, I have to tell her that I'm not interested in her." Sam tilts his head towards you, "She hasn't gotten the hint yet, and I don't want to be douche about it."

"Yeah, no of course not." You smirk slightly, "You're only mean to me." He laughs, "Well yeah, but you know what they say.." He sighs and leans over, taking another banana slice, "if a boy picks on a girl?"

You try to fight a smile, but you fail so you look down, "I've heard that saying before."

"Then you can probably put two and two together." He smiles at you as you look up at him, "I'm going to bed, we have to meet someone in the morning about the exploration."

"Maybe don't be up so late."

"Could say the same to you." He winks and jogs up the steps, leaving you to ask yourself, does Sam like me back?

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Over the next few days, the energy between you and Sam was different.

You felt drawn to him.

And he felt drawn to you.

You looked at him with so much love, and lust. You needed Sam, now. It felt like you were aching for him, but after the kinda, yet not-so cryptic conversation you had with him the one night, you just weren't sure what was in store for you and Sam.

You've been flirty, almost feeling like you and Sam were closer. You would pass each other and his hand would land somewhere on your body, usually your lower back, and it would send a shock up your spine.

"Morning." You say walking down the steps, "How'd your investigation go?"

"Sam, why don't you show her the footage?" Colby says nudging Sam's arm. He takes a deep breath, "I don't think.."

"You're coming back with us tomorrow night. That's all I'm saying." Colby holds his hands up, shaking his head and you look at Sam, pointing to Colby, "What's he talking about?"

He licks his lips and sighs with a smirk, "Come on. I'll show you." You nod, following him back up the stairs, "Did it go good?"

You follow him into his room and sit on his bed as he sits in the chair infront of his computer, "It was a loving spirit, basically, so yeah, it went good."

You lean forward slightly, eyes on Sam as he clicks on things. A shy smile grows on his face, "I know you're not looking at the computer."

He slowly turns his head towards you and you keep your eyes on him, "So what if I wasn't?" He cocks his jaw to the right as he smirks, "Never said it was a bad thing." He nods towards the computer, "Come here."

You stand up, moving over to stand next to him. You press your hand on the desk and lean down slightly, watching as he presses play.

You can tell he's watching you, but he's waiting for your reaction.

"Can you repeat that for us please?" Sam asks on the video. After a few moments, you hear your name, clear as day and it wasn't from either one of the guys, "What the hell?"

You look at Sam and he holds his hand up, "Just wait."

You look back at the screen, "Something moved in that doorway." You lay your finger on the screen and Sam leans forward, "What? No way."

"Rewind it... yeah.. there stop." You glance at Sam and nod towards the screen, "Now watch." He presses play, eyes on the screen and he leans back, eyes wide, "How did we miss that?"

You laugh slightly, "I don't know."

He watches in shock, "Why don't you ever come with us anymore?"

You hoped this question wouldn't ever be asked. 

"School, you know that Sam." You look at him quickly before reaching for the mouse to hit play, but he stops you, "That's the fake, I don't want to talk about it reason. Tell me the real reason."

You stand up, letting out a quiet sigh, "I just didn't want to get in the way." He tilts his head, "In the way of what?"

You shrug, unsure of what to say.

"Is it the comments? About us, and what people think we are?" Sam crosses his arms and looks up at you. You laugh nervously, giving him a nod, "I guess so."

He chews on his lip, "Uh huh." He smirks and leans forward, "Well they'll have a hay day with this." He clicks play and pulls you to sit on his thigh.

You lean forward, listening to Colby speak on the video, "What does y/n have to do with this?"

".. Sam .. it's time .."

You furrow your brows, continuing to listen to the video,

"Sam.. Sam.." you see Colby grab Sam's arm and Sam looks terrified, "Colby.."

"Sam.. she's a good spirit.. she's made it known she doesn't want to hurt anyone." Colby assures him, "you think she's telling you that you need to tell her?"

"Tell who what?" Sam shoots back and you look back at him. He's resting his chin on the palm of his hand and you look back at the screen.

"Y/n.. tell y/n that you like her more than you're letting on, man." Colby's voice is low, almost like they tried to keep it a secret but forgot the camera was rolling?

"Yeah, yeah. You're probably right, Colby.. I just.. how do they know that?" Sam is confused, "I just don't.. oh my god.."

"... together..."

"Should y/n and Sam be together?" Colby asks, "If you say yes, make that little light go off for us." Instant light and Sam pauses the video, "Lady Zeroni was known as a match maker back in her day but it turned deadly when a man who wasn't happy with the person she chose for him came back and went on a total murderous rampage throughout the entire house."

You lean back slightly, "So what you're saying is..." you laugh slightly and rest your hand on the top of his chair, "A ghostly matchmaker is saying we should.. what? Be together?"

Sam stares up at you, "The whole time, I kept thinking about you. Here alone. Like we don't know what we deal with sometimes and when your name is said, my immediate thought was you in danger and I just.."

You listen as he trails off, "When I asked about you having a girlfriend, I was scared you were going to ask me to move out because of how I feel about you."

"Wait.. how do you feel about me?" He tilts his head and tries not to smile and you laugh, putting your hand over his face, "Shut up."

He takes your hand off his face and holds it gently in yours, playing with the ring that's on your middle finger, "I'm scared as hell to want you.." his voice is quiet, "But here I am.." he looks up at you, "..wanting you anyway."

You look up at him quickly and your eyes meet his, "I know that feeling, too." He smirks slightly, letting out a breath of air, "We've been friends for a wh-" he stops himself, smiling as he corrects his words, "We've been friends for our whole lives basically, and I just.."

"Don't want to ruin the friendship?"

He nods, "Exactly."

You nod, "Since we're being honest.. I don't know when it happened, but all I know is that you're the first person I run to when I'm scared, happy, sad, anything." You tilt your head, "I mean, when we're doing a video, I run to Colby too, but mainly because he's close, but everything is just..  it's just very different with you."

"You look at me way different than you look at Colby, I know that for a fact. Actually, Colby was the one who brought it to my attention and I honestly tried pushing it off because I wasn't sure if it was too weird.. like we've known each other for so, so long and we've reached that max level of comfortability with each other... it's just.."

"It's a real amazing thing, Sam. Not many people, or should I say, many people would kill to have the type of relationship we have." You run your hand through his hair, and he closes his eyes, "Lacey told me that best friends don't look at each other the way we do."

His eyes flutter open and he smiles, "Colby told me the same thing."

"And I read the comments on our videos, and I just didn't want you guys to stop getting views or have your name being drug through the mud because we were being too touchy with each other."

He pulls you closer, "Your safety is my number one priority during those and if me keeping an arm around you while we're in some sketchy ass haunted house makes you feel secure, then I'm going to do it."

You smile, laying a hand on his chest, "I may have overthought a lot of it."

He nods, "Oh me too, one hundred percent."

He runs his bottom lip under his teeth, "I've been waiting years to do this." He slides his hand up, pulling you in so he can press his lips gently to yours.

Your hand moves to his cheek as you deepen the kiss and he pulls back, scanning over your face as a smile forms on his lips, "Now that I think about it, we'd make a great couple."

You tilt your head and scrunch up your nose, "You think so?" He pulls you in to kiss you, mumbling against your lips, "Know so."

You hum against his, "You know what else?"

"Hmm?" He tilts his head back to rest against his chair, looking up at you as he waits for you to tell him.

You stand up, his hands still on your hips, "We know everything but one thing about each other."

He raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? What's that?"

You slide your hands to his, "Come on." He stands up, following you over to his bed, instantly picking up what you're laying down for him, "Mm. Are you sure?"

You turn around, slipping off your sweatshirt, "You have no idea how long I've thought about getting you into bed, Golbach."

He chuckles as he slips his own shirt off, "I think I have an idea, y/l/n." His hands lay on your hips and he gently sits you down on the bed.

You lay back as his body moves over top of yours, his hips resting perfectly between your knees. It's like you were made for each other.

"Tell me what you want, babe." Sam's voice is low as he moves to kiss down your neck, "I'm all yours now."

You felt a wave of calmness wash over you before you take his hand and slide it to your throat, "Prove it."

He smirks with a slight hesitation before slowly tightening his grip, "As you wish." His lips crash into yours, kissing every once of skin he can as he makes his way down to the top of your sweats.

He bites your waist band, looking up at you as he lets them snap against your skin with a smirk following the release, "Can I take these off?"

"You don't have to ask." You go to sit up and take them off, but he presses a hand flat to your chest, "Let me, do it baby."

You bite your lip, nodding as you lay back down.

His hands slide up your clothed thighs, squeezing them before slipping his fingers between the band and your skin, "I want to take my time with this."

You needed him now, but you understood.

"Okay, baby." You whisper and smile down at him, lifting your hips as he tugs your sweats down. His lips part slightly, leaning little open kisses up your legs.

He moves back up, hovering over you he grinds against you, "You have no idea how many times I've thought about you.." he leans down and kisses you, "Thought about you."

You smile, "I relate."

He kisses down your neck, "When you came down wearing one of my hoodies, I wanted to make you so late for class."

"Would have been worth it."

He smiles and brushes hair from your face, "Fuck, why'd we wait so long?" You shrug, "Good things take time, Sam."

He smiles and looks from your lips to your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. He rolls over and you follow, straddling him as your lips reconnect with his. You grind down on him, low moans escaping the seal of your lips on one another.

"Please." You whimper out, "I need you."

Sam grips your neck, squeezing slowly, "Say it again."

Your lips form into a smile, and you whimper. "I need you."

He sits up, wrapping his arm around your back, "You're so fucking beautiful." His lips press to yours, moving slowly as he uses his arm to make your body move.

You wrap your arm around his neck and grind down, moaning his name quietly. He leans back, "lay down for me."

You move and lay on your back, watching as Sam strips the rest of his clothes off, "Take them off for me." He nods towards your panties that are still on your body and you comply by taking them off and kicking them off the bed.

"You know, I've also thought about being between those legs.." he gets on his knees, moving towards the middle of the bed by your feet, "multiple times actually.. I was so close to pulling you into the bathroom at that party we went to last week and getting on my knees for you.." his eyes move up your naked body with a smirk, "You looked so fucking good."

Your heart skips a beat, remembering that, even in your drunken state at the time, Sam wouldn't stop looking at you.

"You should have." You whisper watching as he kisses up your legs, alternating sides with each kiss, "I wouldn't have minded."

"Trust me, the next party we go to, I'll make it happen." He winks before dipping his head down and taking your clit between his lips. You let out a gasp, laying a hand on the back of his head, "Sam!"

Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling slightly as you arch your back, "Oh god, yes." You moan as you grind your hips against his face, whining out how good it feels.

His tongue sinks into you and you pull his hair, causing him to groan against you. Your other hand searches for something else to grab for leverage.

His hand throws your leg over his shoulder and your heel instantly digs in to pull him closer, "Fuck, Sam. Sam. I'm so close."

His fingertips dig into your skin, pinning you down as his tongue works its magic inside of you.

Your eyes roll back and your back lifts up off the bed as he brings you to orgasm, "Shit shit shit." You moan out, "Fuck."

He pulls away, immediately coming up to kiss you. His cock rubs against your pussy and you reach down, rubbing it up and down your soaked slit a few times before he pushes his hips forward, his cock slipping inside of you for the very first time.

You both moan, clinging to each other in anyway you can.

He slowly pulls out and slowly slides back in, taking in the feeling of you, "Fuck, you feel so good."

"S-Sam.." you press your chest to his, "Fuck me. Please."

He smirks and tilts his head, watching your face twist with the best pleasure you've ever received, "Fuck, yes." Your nails dig and drag up his back, "I love you."

Sam leans up, stopping his thrusts as he looks at you. Your face goes shocked, "I-I don't know where that ca-"

"He smiles and leans down to kiss you, "I love you more than words can say."

"Then show me." You say quickly before you press your lips to his, "and you don't have to be gentle with me anymore, Sam."

He smirks and shakes his head, "You're fucking perfect." His lips crash into yours and he pushes his hips all the way into you, moaning lowly against you.

He slides a hand down your body and hooks his arm under your knee. He pulls it up and the new angle causes you to gasp, "Fuck."

He starts out thrusting slow, but quickly builds up to a faster, punishing pace. He tilts his head back, moaning before looking down at you.

He sits up slightly and reaches his hand down to cup your chin. His thumb slides across your bottom lip and you part them instantly.

He watches as you take his thumb between your lips, hallowing out your cheeks as you suck. He groans lowly, "I'm never going to get tired of you in this position."

You smile, teeth gently biting down on his thumb and he takes a sharp breath, "Oh yeah. Never getting tired of you in general."

He pulls his hand away and lays beside you. You automatically roll over, straddling him to ride him. You tilt your head back with a moan as his cock slides back inside of you.

His hands immediately grip your hips and help guide you up and down, "Fuck." His eyes are glued to his cock disappearing inside of you, "Doing so good, baby."

Your eyes light up at the praise and he raises his eyebrows, "Like a little praise do we?" He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, "You're full of surprises aren't you?"

"You have no idea, Mr. Golbach."

He sits up slightly, "But I will."

He bends his legs up and your hands press to his knees as you bounce up and down, "Gonna cum." You whimper out as you slide all the way down and roll your hips, cursing out as you cum.

Sam is in awe of you, his eyes are moving all over your face, your body, "That's it, baby. Good girl."

Your eyes snap open and you lean down, kissing him as you move your hips up and down, "Only for you."

"Say.. say it again." He drags his fingers up your leg, "Please."

"A good girl, but only for you."

He flips you so you're back to being on your back and he's on top, thrusting into you, "Fucking right."

You smile, moaning out as you wrap your legs around his waist, "Fuck, fuck yes."

"M'so close." He mumbles into your neck, "Fuck. You're so good to me."

His thrusts slow down and turn kinda sloppy as he gets ready to break the grasp of your legs locked around him.

He pulls out to cum on your stomach and you lay there breathing heavy. He lays beside you, kissing your shoulder for a few seconds before standing up to grab you something to wipe off with.

He comes back, hanging you a towel with a smile. You take it from him and smirk, "What?"

"You're my girlfriend." He smiles and bites his lip, quietly celebrating. You tilt your head, "And you're my boyfriend." You smile at him and wipe up, tossing the towel on the floor before being met with a Sam laying his body over yours, "Should we go break the news to Colby?"

You sigh, "I can picture his celebration dance already."

Sam peppers kisses all over your face, getting you to laugh, "You're so cheesy." You turn your head, pecking his lips, "One of my favorite things about you."

He smiles and tucks your hair behind your ear, “You.. are my favorite thing about me.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[bistaxx]

Hey guys, sorry for vanishing suddenly I just needed to take a bit of a break- I think I'm going to continue to take some time off from here and at most will just lurk around for a bit, not sure how long that'll be.

I'm going to talk a bit about the current situation under the read-more and another post about it scheduled after this one. I'll be using the tag 'the forever situation' for blacklist purposes.

As of right now I don't feel comfortable commenting on it because this is a situation that needs to be handled delicately and I don't want to rush into it. I've been busy with work the past two days and (during the time of me writing this) am about to go into another shift today in a few hours- so I haven't had as much time as I'd like to read about what's going on.

I'm not fluent in Portuguese so I'm going to primarily rely on information provided by Brazilian's in the fandom and their thoughts on the matter- I highly recommend other non-Brazilians do so too- especially regarding anything related to what the victim has said about this. It's important to not be dismissive of what's going, but so is taking the time to understand what happened before commenting on it especially if you don't speak Portuguese.

It's also just a topic that can be hard for me to focus on. I don't feel right discussing why on this blog, all I'll say is that it brings back memories that sometimes make my mind go all blank and foggy. I'll be fine, I just want to take in it at a pace that doesn't cause my brain to shut down every 5 minutes.

I hope you guys understand, I'm terrified of coming across as if I'm ignoring or don't care about what's going on when I very much do. I just don't want mishandle it and it's something that's difficult at times for me to speak about. I have tomorrow off, I'm gonna use that day to look into this all more after getting some rest.

I think there's like an event going on in the server today, but I just want to take today 'off' from qsmp including on Tumblr. I just feel all over the place right now- we'll just have to wait and see how things go I guess. I also just wanna say you guys have been a bright spot in a very rough time of my life, thank you all for that.

I'm writing this very early in the morning. It'll be posted sometime in the afternoon for me. I won't know if anything else has come up since then until tomorrow- I really do hope by the time I log back i we'll have a clearer picture of it all by then...

I'm putting my queue on pause for now too. I don't know for how long, I just want to take a break from here for awhile. Take care <3

[tobiasdrake]

At long last, it's time. The siege has begun.

I'm going to bring this place crashing into the ocean. While on fire.

I hope you got everything out of your miserable unlife that you wanted, Aephorul. Because I remember exactly how I felt that day, and the blood hasn't left my eyes since.

Alright, team. This is it. You know what this is and you know what we're here to do. By the end of today, I want to be holding Aephorul's heart or the nearest desiccated organ left in his rotting skeleton of a body in my bare hand.

Erlina will be waiting for us in there. We're going straight through her and not even looking back.

Let's paint the sky red.

I shouldn't be surprised that Aephorul's idea of a locking mechanism is disgusting. I am, however, impressed with his commitment to the bit. Dude loves his fleshy shit.

Um. Hi? I don't think we've met. Yes, we are here to either liberate or butcher you. Please specify which of the two you would like to order.

One order of butchering coming right up.

*sigh*

You know, I'm starting to develop a love/hate relationship with alchemy. I love it when it's on our side and hate it when it's on theirs.

We don't have time for this.

Goodbye, some dude I've never heard of whose name is probably a Monkey Island reference.

...well. Fuck.

Sure would be nice if there was an alchemist in our midst who didn't abandon me like everyone else and could instead mix up more of that anti-psychic juice. But I guess we'll have to deal.

As tempting as your illusory robot flirtations are, I am currently fueled by far too much homicidal zeal to sleep. The adrenaline coursing through my veins won't let me.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN HERE YOU BASTARD. Shut the fuck up.

...why....

...would that ever be a thing that is happening to me....

What could possibly have occurred in my journey that would result in this taking place? That last one was pretty decent, 7/10, but this is a solid 2. You need to up your psychedelic game, Aephorul because this acid trip just got a lot less convincing.

See? Like that. You dream-vision me into the Humble Boast and send me into the kitchen to see the chef, I expect to see fucking Garl at the cookpot. That would be a potent vision. I might even be inclined to forget how obviously fake it is because I just want to see him again so badly.

Instead, you give me a mole man. Great. Because that's something that's going to win me over and make me want to forget why I came here.

This is the shittiest predatory illusion I've ever been under the influence of. Hall of Illusions, I demand to speak with your manager.

THERE YOU ARE. You better listen the fuck up and listen good because I've got about a dozen--

Hey, wait a second. Serai, isn't this that other guy you wanted us to murder? I guess he transferred departments after finishing up with Repine, and now he has a new job. That he fucking sucks at.

You should believe her. We're kind of on a streak in the blood vengeance department.

By the way, body covered in eyes? Not a great choice. You've riddled yourself with vulnerable spots. You're basically giving her a whole mess of options for what to stab.

Yeah, just like that. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

That one looks like it hurt. I didn't think a face consisting solely of a gigantic eye wouldn't be capable of pulling off the "OH GOD MY TESTES" face but there it is.

He's trying so hard to save face and not look like he's fleeing for his life while whimpering because he just got stabbed in the junk.

Oh, you've got fanboys with glowsticks now. Yep, that'll do it. Sure to keep you safe. You've definitely--

Oh no, your useless trash goblins all died unexpectedly. It is a mystery.

By the way, you probably shouldn't have kept your eyes on me because--

AGAIN! I KNOW! Man, she's really got it out for you.

This is the most fun I've ever had filing a complaint.

The "I'm going to go get my big brother to beat you up" energy going on right now is amazing. Delivered in the smuggest possible tone.

The new bodyguards are nice, they look tougher than the last, but they don't exactly protect you from....

...that. They don't exactly protect you from that.

You gonna suck it up and take your-- and he's running again.

This wasn't quite what I was expecting when I stormed in here to commit a murder but honestly, I'm so glad I was here for this.

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (15/10/23)

it really does feel weird watching so many shows I'm used to reading a ton of stuff but I haven't watch this many things in years anyway next week should have another big catch up but not gonna say it'll happen for sure cause something might come up but anyhoo

green - new series/new to me

Anime

Hoshikuzu Telepath Ep1

very cute show as you'd expect from a kirara series god it's been so long since I've watched a CGDCT show but it still slaps, as usual, so I'll be looking forward to this cleansing shot for this season also main cast is all newbies, except one of them randomly is aoki shiki which is p funny to me also also, op and ed are good tho op feels like an ed too (it's mikku tho so it's good 🙏)

Frieren Ep6

great ep once again, I know the frieren fight with the demon guy had some sakuga but I certainly didn't expect to see some this ep too it was really good. and also the interactions between fern and stark are p funny they got good chemistry

Undead Unluck Ep2

extremely good ep, might even say it was better than ep 1 like it was just that great. the direction is still great, I especially liked how they lined up the ep title card with andy saying the line and it didn't break up the action much, hope that's a recurring thing tho also hope they're a bit more ambitious with it. it was also pretty funny seeing all the shaft style shots, which makes sense cause there's a buncha old shaft staff in this but still. the sakuga was really good too. also we got both the op and ed and they're both great, visually and musically, tho the OP visuals go hard as hell. anyway next week we're getting gina so I'm very pogged up for my queen yuuki aoi getting to shine for 2 eps

Pokemon Horizons Ep24

pokemon's back from it's 2 week between cours break with a very lore heavy ep which we already knew would be the case from the previews but I expected to get a lil more action near the end. anyway despite being so lore heavy it was mostly about riko's grandma and not the lucius stuff the plot is built around like I expected. wasn't a bad ep tho. next one looks like it'll have a lot of action so that'll be fun. and in 2 or 3 more eps that new gaki girl will get some more screentime which should be good too

Adult Precure Ep2

DON'T YOU HATE BEING RIGHT??? last week I said: "I just hope they have new cure forms as adults instead of transforming into their younger selves." and guess what the hell happened? MAN I'm so mad. and toei only did it to save costs too cause they reused the stock footage from the old show, man this is so disappointing... but the rest of the episode was really good, even the action after the transformation was good (yoshiyama yuu 🙏) I'm just let down they chose to do this instead of giving them new adult cure forms 😔

Imas Million Live Ep2

great episode, as you'd expect from imas, with an especially good performance from shizuka at the audition at the end. also got to see a bunch more girls do stuff, like anna streaming, so that was fun. I was thinking that it's a shame that the show is only 12 eps (despite being cg) cause I wanna see the girls more but then I realized U149 was also just 12 so it should be fine. it's imas anyway so I'll enjoy my time with it while I can

Manga

Blooming Love Ch15

yknow, at the start I did say I could see this series being p short, but this chap skipped so much time and made it seem like it's ending soon which feels p abrupt. it could continue after this but I don't think it will, we'll see in some weeks I guess

Kill Blue Ch25

I thought we'd get at least 1 more chap of this but it was still p good, just a comedic chill thing to break up the tension after that little action arc

Witch Watch Ch129

we got to the end of this longish arc but shinohara really fooled me, ofc it wasn't gonna be that easy. I'm not gonna spoil the twist at the end of the chapter but WOW really didn't see that coming. I thought this was nearing the end but I can see it going quite a bit longer now

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Relationships

While Sigrid was out and after school hours, Sabrina and Robin took the kids to visit one of the other next-door neighbors who recently moved into the area. As usual, Audrey and Juno were quick to introduce themselves to the youngest member of the family, but little Abram seemed less than thrilled to have visitors 😆

By the time the group returns to the Legacy House, Sigrid is already back and changed for a workout.

Sigrid: Aha, there you guys are! It was odd returning to a quiet house without the littles here!

Sabrina chuckles.

Sabrina: We went and spent some time at the Meskins' house. Nothing too crazy.

Robin greets his fiancée.

Robin: Hey, how'd everything go?

Sigrid: Space is coming along. Anya says hi.

Robin: Love to hear more about it, but looks like you're about to get a workout sesh in.

Sigrid: Want to join me for a quick jog? We can chat after?

Robin: Sure.

Once Robin changed, the couple had a very chill evening jog. Being able to bond over their shared love of exercise is helping these two fix the distance they've been feeling between each other, which has been taking a mostly silent toll on their relationship.

And after returning, putting the kids to bed, and showering, they get another quiet moment together.

Sigrid: ...and the ceremony space is really coming together. It's so nice and peaceful and intimate. Anya and I went in there and were blown away, and it's not even fully done up yet.

Robin: That's awesome! I can't wait to see it for myself. Did you and Anya get some time to catch up?

Sigrid: Yeah, she said Colt's been moping around the house lately because he and his girlfriend broke up. Poor thing.

Robin: Ah yes, the growing pains of teenagedom. Seems like just yesterday we were in high school together, falling in love.

Sigrid: It may feel like yesterday for you, but it feels like centuries for me.

Robin: Why is that?

Sigrid: Robin, so much has changed since we were those two lovestruck teenagers. I've certainly changed a lot. My body feels it.

Robin: You look great as always, my love.

Sigrid: Doesn't change the fact that I'm not getting any younger. Teenage Sigrid seems so foreign to me. She was slim and in shape, full of energy, and had a natural bite to her. Now? All these new rolls and stretch marks, aches and pains while chasing around two toddlers. I don't know... they always say motherhood changes you, and for better and worse it definitely has changed me.

Robin: Do you have any regrets?

Sigrid: Not regrets per se. I love the girls and I love motherhood despite its hardships. I love being a part of a family. I just... I don't know. Sometimes I worry that I'm losing myself in the process.

Robin: It's not been easy. I can see that. I still hope I've been doing what I can to make it easier for you.

Sigrid: You're a great father. The girls love you to bits, that much is evident. You're so attentive and hardworking, and I know they'll continue to love you so deeply as a result of that.

Robin: But what about with you?

Sigrid falters before breathing through her nose audibly.

Sigrid: I love you. I love what we've created together. Things have been hectic ever since the pregnancy but you've always encouraged me and doted on me in any way you could.

Robin: But...?

Sigrid: I don't know if there's really a "but". I just think that things are different than they once were. That's life. I just want to continue being intentional with one another so there's never a point where we begin to resent one another.

Robin: Are you worried that'll happen?

Sigrid: I-I don't know, maybe? I'm just saying it's important to me that we don't allow ourselves to be in that sort of situation. Keep open dialogue. Talk through things.

With that, Robin himself takes a moment to mull over Sigrid's words before responding.

Robin: Sometimes... I'm worried I can't give you everything you need no matter how hard I try. There's always going to be something you're missing.

Sigrid: Why do you feel that way?

Robin: Sometimes you get so sad... and it's hard bringing you out of that. And you know, me being asexual and all, I also worry that you're missing some forms of intimacy that I'm not always able to give you.

Sigrid: You know I've always been supportive of you. We don't need that to enjoy intimacy. I don't want you to feel responsible or guilty about that, ever.

Robin sits up on his knees, turning towards her.

Robin: We can't pretend that it may not affect us, though. I don't want anything driving a wedge between us.

Sigrid: Robin, I love you. We're getting married. We have two kids. If you being asexual was an issue, something you confessed to me very early in our relationship, we wouldn't be where we are today.

Robin sighs and nods softly.

Robin: If you're sure.

Sigrid: I am.

Robin: Okay.

Robin pulls Sigrid in close for a hug.

Robin: I can't wait to marry you.

Sigrid: I can't wait to marry you, too.