#I'm sure conservatives hopped on this shit when they pulled it

[tododeku-or-bust]

Watched a doc on the Twin Flames cult and like... I did not realize that people were this serious about the divine masculine feminine shit. I figured it was a conservative ideology and we all knew that. I thought we saw that it was bullshit meant to enforce gender essentialism. I honestly figured it was like.. hotep ideology in my community and that weird brand of Christian White Woman™ faking "traditional" on tiktok. I didn't realize these people were actually like... Marketing this shit.

This was horrifying. It was like...reverse uno-ing gender essentialism by forcing people to transition according to what the leaders saw as "their true self" so that they could be in specified "masculine and feminine pairs" bc "homo/bisexuality isn't real". and that seems so violating against what exploring gender and being trans actually means (to be fair I am not trans so I am not as informed as I could be, but it ain't seem right).

And as a sidebar this guy leading the shit is the most insufferable, arrogant, immature ass man. "I'm Jesus bc I'm white with long hair and you're being a whiny bitch if you don't do what I say" sir I'll reach through this screen. Fuck you. I hate that they're thinking this abuse is love.

[taechaos]

Your Boy, No?

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: You can't stand seeing Jungkook with another girl, so you give him a piece of your mind in a stranger's bedroom by becoming his outlet of sexual frustration.

warnings: losing virginity, riding, degradation

a/n: jungkook's character is not exactly submissive, so i added my own twists to this request. i hope you don't mind @madygswich c:

word count: 2.5k

You can't stop pouting. Holding back tears when seeing a woman perched up on Jungkook's lap while they make out has proven to be difficult, but you're trying. It hurts your heart; hell, you're aching everywhere. It doesn't take a genius to know he's doing it to get a reaction out of you when his eyes are throwing daggers at you with his tongue down another girl's throat.

Following Jungkook around like a lost puppy isn't ideal, especially at a frat party. He never gives you the time of the day if it's not out of menace, but you aren't willing to give up on him. It's just not possible when you are so in love with him, and so fucking jealous.

More than Jungkook, you're mad at the girl. You want to rip her heart out, make her suffer for ever touching the love of your life. You're becoming irrational, mentally cussing her out for being a whore while you stop yourself from breaking down in a house filled with horny young adults. You don't know a single person here, and you have to deal with your pent up emotions all by yourself.

You choke out a sob when Jungkook starts kneading the girl's ass shamelessly with her skirt hiked up to her back. They're being so inappropriate in the kitchen of a stranger's house, while you can't even take a sip from your spiked drink in the bustling living room. You abruptly stand up and throw away your plastic cup when Jungkook's hand disappears elsewhere, and you have an idea of what he's about to do. You march over to him, looking absolutely tiny next to the overbearing college students and you don't notice Jungkook's sinister smile as he watches you fume.

"Let go," you sound hoarse, and not at all intimidating when you push the girl off of his lap. She stumbles at the force, but you pay no mind to her confusion as you pull Jungkook up by his arm to drag him away. You think it's the anger and adrenaline giving you so much strength, but it's Jungkook amusing himself by allowing you to take him upstairs.

"This isn't a therapy session, little girl," he yells over the music, "I didn't come here to listen to you cry."

You huff and let a single tear slip before harshly wiping it away. When you reach the hallway, you enter the first bedroom you find. It's occupied by a foreplaying couple, but you're driven as you hiss, "Out!"

They leave at your demand, and you're confusing a lot of people tonight. Jungkook is surprised by your sudden aggression, but he doesn't stop with his remarks, "the chihuahua's gone mad."

"Shut up, Jungkook!" you whirl around angrily to face him. "How could you do that to me?!"

He quirks a brow. "Do what to you? I'm sorry, am I the one who forcefully brought you here? Am I tripping or are you?"

You push at his chest, "you're a fucking whore! Tonguing a girl in front of everyone, in front of me?"

His shoulders shake in silent laughter and you cross your arms when he starts cackling loudly. The music is drowned out and muffled behind the door, but it's nothing compared to how hysterically Jungkook is laughing.

"What's so funny?" you ask lamely. He throws his head back as he clutches his stomach, and you're starting to get annoyed. You push him on the bed, but he's still laughing. "Quit it already," your voice wavers, but you don't back down as you smack his chest. You place your knees on both sides of his hips to limit his movement and cover his mouth to shut him up.

His crescent eyes turn intense instantly as he glares at you under his hooded lids. He exerts only a tiny bit of his energy into pushing your hand away and you weakly collapse on him. It's foul play to compete with his muscles, and you realize he can snap you in half if he wanted to regardless of your rush of adrenaline.

You sit back up as he lowly speaks, "The fuck's it to you? I wanted to fuck her, and I was going to until you stepped in as if you're my girlfriend. Tell me why I shouldn't go back to her right now." He clasps his hands under his head, making himself comfortable with your weight pressing against his crotch.

"You know why," you huff with a frown, and you look so cute in the dim lighting with your baggy knitted sweater bunching up on the sleeves, sitting on his bulge with so much innocence in your expression. He's smitten, but it doesn't show in his cold stare. "I'm your girl, and I won't tolerate you messing around with other women. It's slutty!" You slightly bounce for emphasis, but your knee-length skirt hides your actions. Jungkook feels it with you, and his eyes trail down to your lower region.

"My girl?" he parrots with a raised brow. He gazes back into your eyes. "You do my homework."

"I don't care. I love you," you plead pathetically, "please say you love me back."

"Wasn't I a whore just a second ago?"

"You were! Apologize to me," you harshly yank his head back by his hair. He doesn't react in the slightest, so you softly add, "please."

"Oh little girl," he sighs, "are you really trying to dominate me right now?"

"I am dominating you. Promise me you won't kiss another girl like that again. I won't forgive you a second time."

"Yeah? What's my loss?"

"Well, you're lazy in school," you bluntly state, "and no one loves you like I do. No one would try to cater to you like I do. I'd do anything for you, Kookie." You tug down your skirt to take it off and plop back down on him before saying, "Including sex. You can only use me for your sexual needs."

He's enamored by your words, but he doesn't dare share it with you. Instead, he thrusts upwards and you yelp when you jump. "Go on then," he says nonchalantly. "Show me how much of a slut you are."

"U-Um, okay," you stutter and start unzipping his black denim jeans. You've seen a lot of porn videos to make sure you were prepared for the next step with Jungkook, but you have no experience with penetration.

And he realizes that rather quickly when you're so meek with your actions. With a groan, he asks, "You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"

"I've been saving it for the right guy," you answer with offence. This is a special occasion, and you want him to take it as seriously as you do. But it's definitely not a good idea to be snarky with him when you can barely remember the steps for safe sex. "Do you have a condom?"

"It's in my pocket," he grumbles and points at his front without taking it out himself. You're excited and nervous as you tear the wrapper and take out the preservative. You have no idea how to put it on, but you're topping so you clumsily push down his briefs. Jungkook is surprisingly throbbing under you, and you blush at the sight of his erection.

He stops himself from teasing you and saying that the girl from earlier gave him this boner, but he doesn't want to be cruel yet. It's your first time, and truthfully, he jacks off to thought of you too often anyway. He can handle being somewhat nice by staying quiet, but that doesn't mean he would teach you how to put on a condom.

You slip it on with little struggle, and don't waste any time in positioning his cock in your entrance. Before he can stop you, you sink down on his length with a painful moan. He wants to tell you that losing your virginity in this position is the most painful, but instead he groans, "Holy shit, how are you so fucking tight?"

It hurts so fucking bad. Your tear ducts are like clockwork as they water instantly, but you lower yourself down to the hilt anyway. You're quite literally sitting on his cock as you try to catch your breath because God, you're in so much pain.

"Fuck, are you okay?" he asks, but he's more worried about controlling himself from fucking into you before you can adjust. It's difficult, but he's trying.

"Jungkook," you whimper quietly with your eyes screwed shut, "it hurts."

"You're so fucking dumb for doing this, but you feel so fucking good," he pants as he holds your hips.

"Thank you," you muster out in a breath. A few seconds pass until the pain starts to numb, and you move against him very slowly. Your walls are stinging, but it feels like Heaven for Jungkook who you clench down on.

"Go up and down," he instructs with a bit lip. He tries to move your hips, but you're resisting in fear of another shock of pain. "Come on!"

"Can you wait?" you hiss through clenched teeth.

He's trying to rile you up when he says, "Sana wouldn't take this fucking long."

And it works, because you bounce once. "Don't say her name!"

He groans at your tightness, and he can't believe how wet you are. You're dripping on him, and he curses himself for holding back because of your hopeless romance. He can't entertain your conservative way of going on about this any longer, so he continues, "She would have made me cum by now, but this prissy princess can't even get a move on."

It's almost pathetic how one push from Jungkook makes you start moving, and it feels less uncomfortable to hop up and down against his pelvis. The filthy sound of slapping skin mixing with the generic radio music is making you feel so slutty because it's so stereotypical, but when Jungkook moans, it brings heat all over your body. You take your sweater off when sweat begins to cumulate on your temples, and he commands, "Take off your bra too."

He's thrusting into you as you unclasp the black material, freeing your breasts as he finds his new eyecandies. You are so pretty, your nipples are so hard, and your cunt sucks him in so perfectly. It almost upsets him when he realizes how much pleasure he's deprived himself of; the amount only you seem to be able to provide, because it's beyond physical intimacy.

"Good girl," he exhales and gently slams into you with his hands fondling your tits. You smile coyly through your tears, and he asks, "Does it still hurt?"

You contemplate for a second, because you don't feel the best yet, but you don't want to disappoint Jungkook either. "I-It doesn't," you lie.

Jungkook mentally rolls his eyes; he really wants to believe you so he can chase his high, but he sees right through you. He slaps your tit without mercy and chastises you, "don't lie. I thought this was your little moment of control."

"I'm sorry," you pout as you slowly ride him.

"Another lie," he slaps your other tit more harshly and you yelp.

"I'm not lying!" you plead and hasten your pace, desperate to sell your lie. It's working, because you're starting to feel a knot in your stomach the more you adjust.

He moans with you, and you lose yourself when he stills your hips and begins to fuck you himself. It's rough, loud, and the pain is your pleasure. His balls slap against your skin as he easily slides in and out of you with the help of your arousal. Your love dawns on him when you're so turned on for him without any foreplay, and he's on cloud nine because nothing can compare to being inside you.

The setting is so unlike you, fucking in someone's bedroom with a bunch of people behind the unlocked door who can barge in at any given moment, but he finds it so sexy. You only care about being with him, and you really do look like his slut now.

His hands start holding onto your ass, kneading it until it turns red with his fingerprints, and he demands you to kiss him. You're out of it, your ears are ringing and you can only moan out his name, but you can't bear to ignore him. Your lips fall on his, and the kiss is sloppy with his tongue all over your mouth. You can't keep up, but your chest swells with pride when you realize how needy he is for you. He goes as far as to spit in your mouth, and you swallow it without hesitation.

"You want me to play with your clit?" he murmurs against your lips, and his voice sounds so airy and melodic to your ears. "Hm? Want me to make you feel good, little slut?"

You whine without a clear response because his lips feel so soft and wet, and that's the only thing you can focus on. All you want to do is kiss him and he doesn't stop you from doing so, but you're even more overwhelmed when he starts touching you while penetrating you. "No," you whimper, "I'll cum."

"A slut can take it," he grunts and rubs your clit faster, and you come undone all too soon. You moan loudly as you tremble, shaking as he rides out your high with a pinch to your clit. You're numb when you collapse on top of him, but he's relentless with his thrusts. He's using your body as you intended, and he's vocal with his pleasure and teasing climax. It's remarkable how he holds you up when you've gone limp and still fucks you just as hard.

You want to record his voice when he starts to whine pathetically, but you have no energy left within. He's panting in your ear, and it's not long before his hips fall on the mattress with a sigh. He's surprised by how powerful his orgasm was, as he fills the condom with his release instantly. His cock is still nestled inside you as both of you recover from your climax.

"Get off," he taps your thigh, and he pushes you off when you don't obey immediately. Your spell has worn off as he starts to dress himself. "I'm going back to the dorms." You listen to him with your mind in a haze. "Unless you want to get raped on your way without me, get the fuck up now."

"Can you carry me please?"

He shrugs and swings your arm over his shoulder, picking up your body with ease. He collects your clothes in his hand, but doesn't hand them to you as he steps out of the room.

"W-Wait, Jungkook, I'm naked-"

"You're my girl, no? Be a good slut and shut the fuck up."

Dangling off his shoulder with your bare tits pressed against his back, you close your eyes and drift off on the way to campus.

Boyfriends typically drop their girlfriends off anyway, right?

[aestheticseungmean]

Skater Boy-Kang Yeosang

The consequences of a dare led you to a new group of friends who hung out at a skatepark. You’ve always wanted to learn how to skateboard and now you’ve got a teacher.

7.1K words (I swear they keep getting longer each time)

Warnings: None, maybe like five cursewords

Requested by no one

Edited: once

—————————————————————————

It was a dare.

That was the only thing that was running through your small mind as you ran away from the guy chasing you, scared of what he might do. “Wait-“ He stopped for a breath but you kept running wanting to keep as far away from him as possible, “Come back you little brat.” The beating of your heart was fast, fast to match your breathing that was pumping what you thought was not enough oxygen in your body. What was the dare? You were dared to kiss a random student from your college, anyone you wanted, and in return, you’d get 150 bucks. 150 dollars that you could spend on anything, even that new guitar you saw in the music shop beside the small diner you practically lived at. The same guitar that reminded you of your grandfather who played the guitar every day on his front porch.

“I dare you-“ Somi paused for a dramatic effect, “to kiss anyone on this campus!” Murmurs interrupted in your friend group as they tried to figure out who you would kiss. Lisa stepped forward to add in her own words. “We will each chip in 25 dollars which adds up to 150.” “Kiss someone for money. Yeah sure.” The hint of alcohol buzz from the party last night made you feel light and daring. Whipping their phones out to record you, their mouths dropped as you tapped on the shoulder of a girl. “Excuse me.” Her cotton candy hair waves bounced as she turned her head towards you. “Oh hi, ______! Do you need something?” Heads turned your way, curious as to why you looked so nervous. “I’m sorry,” you whispered before grabbing her cheeks softly and kissing her. Cheers and whistles somehow seemed to echo outside if that was possible.

A large hand grabbed your shoulder and turned you towards him. Shit. Shit. Shit. You repeated under your breath. It was the girl’s boyfriend, the captain of the fencing team, and the Chinese club. “Hi, Jackson?” It wasn’t anger in his eyes, it was worry. “You better run. Her dad is here and he saw it.” Right on cue, the girl’s dad, a very influential man, ran after you. You took off running in the first direction you could escape. “GET BACK HERE!” You hoped that doing track in middle school to get out of gym class would be of help so you called on the will to run faster. But alas, to no avail, you weren’t running any faster than you were now. The first thing you were going to do if you don’t die is make the girls double the money. “I WILL NOT HAVE YOU TAINT MY DAUGHTER YOU-“ You focused on something else knowing he wasn’t going to say nice things. “Wait-“

Carefully, you scrambled up the small wall and hopped over it, landing in some thorns but those would heal, you couldn’t necessarily rise from the dead. The man’s voice grew distant as he ran further, apparently not seeing you enter the fenced area. “Hey, are you hurt?” A male on the shorter side from all the males you knew approached you. “A little but I’ll survive,” you grumbled out as you picked a thorn out of your arm. “May I help you?” He looked harmless so you agreed allowing him to pick out the broken thorns in your hair. “Wow, Hyung. We leave you for one minute only to find you playing Tarzan with a girl.” It was another boy, this time a slight bit taller with a slender and handsome face. “Shut up, San.” “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your little playmate?” You couldn’t tell who was talking this time due to the searing pain in your shoulder where you landed first in the bush from hell distracting you. “No. I don’t even know who she is.” Suddenly, all eyes were on you. “I’m _____, nice to meet you and I am covered in thorns because of escaping a consequence of my dare.”

The group of boys were a bit taken aback by your abrupt introduction but introduced themselves. San, Hongjoong, Mingi, Seonghwa, Yunho, Jongho, and Wooyoung. You observed your surroundings when you had the chance. The vast area in front of you was all concrete save for the little plant areas by the walls. In the middle of the blocked in space, there were dips in the concrete. Ramps and stairs were scattered across the length of one side. To the other side, there were rails of all sizes and lengths. The concrete was immaculate with little cracks for optimum smoothness for the people in the park. Then it hit you, it was a skate park. You watched in wonder as people on scooters, skates, rollerblades, and skateboards did tricks and flips that you could only imagine doing. One boy caught your attention with his unique style of tricks, reaching heights on flat ground higher than you could jump regularly.

Hongjoong took you out of your trance when he accidentally pulled hair instead of a thorn. A yelp escaped your lips as your hand flew up to rub at the stinging pain hoping to soothe it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he apologised. “Joong is stronger than he looks,” Wooyoung teased, ruffling Hongjoong’s hair gaining a glare in return. When you were both sure that you got every thorn from hell off of you, you stood up and stretched your aching muscles. “I think I should get heading back to college-“ your words were cut short when you saw the father outside of the gate checking out the area, looking for you. “Or maybe not.” His brows furrowed as the man looked around. The minute his icy grey eyes landed on you, he marched through the gate and towards your way seething with anger. “YOU-“ Although you didn’t know the boys well, you silently looked to them for help hoping at least one of them would be able to protect you from the wrath of a conservative father.

Jongho stood in front of you acting as a shield should the guy try anything. One by one, the boys surrounded you, encasing you in a circle of safety with Hongjoong in the front where the guy was. “Move, my business is with that little brat who had the nerve to corrupt my daughter.” Some glances were made towards you, a few surprised, a few confused, and a few quietly cheering you on. “I’m sorry sir, we simply cannot do that.” Hongjoong’s voice was calm and clear yet strong and assertive like the ocean. “I SAID MOVE! I’m a very VERY powerful man and don’t think I can’t get this stupid park REMOVED.” You flinched and grabbed on the back of Jongho’s grey hoodie. Loud noises have always scared you, that’s how you grew up knowing you did something wrong. It was the only time people ever yelled at you, the only time they had a reason too but it still made you cower when someone raised their voice. You didn’t realize you were almost choking out Jongho’s hoodie until Wooyoung grabbed your hand and held it much to Jongho’s thanks.

“Shh, he can’t hurt you. We got you, _______,” Wooyoung whispered softly, effectively calming you down a bit. “It’s not your fault he’s yelling at you.” Confused as to if he already knew you, you looked up at him and you could tell in his eyes that he’s been in a situation similar before. His soft chocolate brown eyes held guilt and pain and sympathy. “You can’t have this park removed, sir. This is owned by a friend of ours who loves skateboarding, there is no way she’d sell.” “Yeah! Especially not to you,” Jongho taunted. The man threw his meaty hands in the air in defeat but his words were the opposite. “Give me the brat and I’ll leave you guys alone.” You winced at the emphasis on brat like it was a derogatory term and honestly, it was starting to feel like one. “No.” The guy, frustrated, lunged forward to grab you. His sausage fingers got so close to your face, you could smell the fake cigar residue residing on his unwashed hands. His fingernails were dirty and unkempt, bound to give you some kind of disease if he so much as scratches you.

But he couldn’t get close enough to scratch you. Jongho, whom you assumed was the strongest since he was alone in the fight, had punched him square on the jaw. The guy’s dirty hand left its position in front of your face to go and protect his own. “I don’t know who you are but you will be going to jail for assaulting me,” he seethed but Jongho paid no attention. “Next time you think about touching someone, make sure you don’t.” By now, a few of the resident skaters had started to form around the lot of you, watching and recording, ready to jump in if need be. A girl who looked a bit older than you strolled forward with some of the police off the street who saw the last bit of what happened. “Sir, this young man will not be going to jail, you will.” Cheers erupted as the man was cuffed, screaming the entire way out. “I'M RICH, YOU CAN'T DO THIS!”

“Sir, I do not care that you are rich. I care that you get a lesson of respect in our jailhouse with Big Dan.” A sinister smile crept upon the face of the police at the mention of Big Dan. “Don’t worry, Big Dan will keep you safe...in his yard,” another policeman threw in. Unfortunately, though you were safe, you had to stay until the police came back to get your side of the story and allow you to go home. “Let me drive you home. To make sure you are safe.” The female cop stood there patiently awaiting your answer. They had assigned her to interview you for mental reasons. To make sure you weren’t going to be scared if a big, burly policeman were to interview you which in hindsight is a good idea but stupid in your mind. “Casandra, we’ll take her home.” The group of boys stood behind you ushering you to join them. “Well, I suppose that would be better for you. Go ahead, go with the boys.”

You ran over, happy you didn’t have to go home in a cop car and be the college news of the week. You still were going to be the talk of the day but it will be because of the dare and coming home with seven attractive men. “Are you okay?” You turn towards the voice to see whom they called Seonghwa. “Yeah, I’ll be okay once I get home to my apartment and take a nice long shower.” “Do you live alone?” You nodded, yawning right after. “Do you think you’ll be okay?” “He’s not a mafia boss, I don’t think he will send any henchmen after me. Besides, I’m sure the girls will be hounding me about what happened.” The apartment complex loomed in front of you, even the doors made you feel small right now. The boys followed you up to your apartment, something that would be creepy if they hadn’t been so kind and helped you. “Shit!” You cried out realizing you don’t have the keys and you sure as hell didn’t leave a spare in the hallway.

“What?” Hongjoong inquired, worried that something was wrong. “I hope the girls are here because I don’t have my keys.” You knocked loudly on the door in the famous pattern that let the girls know it was you when you visited them. “Is that a magic way to open up the door?” San joked hoping to lighten the mood. You laughed a little which made him beam in accomplishment. “No, it’s so the girls know it’s me.” The door slammed open and you got smothered in hugs. “Oh my god, I thought you died. You look like you got ran over and-“ the moment they saw the boys, all attention was on them and not you. “Who are the cuties?” “Friends, now move into the apartment before Mrs.Kwon comes out here and yells at us.” You shivered at the thought of the old lady waddling out with her cane giving you the evil eye before screeching at you.

“Would you guys like to come in? I can order pizza as a thank you.” “We wouldn’t want to impose,” Hongjoong politely declined. “But I want to impose,” Mingi said before making his way over to you. The shortest chuckled and gave in. “Alright but I’m helping pay because these guys are expensive.” A smile graced your face as you let them in, the girls secretly thanking you for blessing their eyes. You shut the door behind you and turned towards the girls. “Do you guys know where my stuff is?” “I put it on your bed,” Lisa replied, not taking her eyes off of Wooyoung once. You rolled your eyes and made your way to the room to find your phone and wallet. On your bed laid your backpack and purse with their contents spilled on your bed like a mountain of odds and in stuff. You rummaged through it countless times trying to find your phone but ultimately you were unsuccessful. “Girls, where is my phone?” “Here I’ll call it!” Jongho offered, trying to get away from the girls who were flirting with them.

He rushed to where you just came from pulling you with him. His grip wasn’t tight but it was enough to know that he was desperate to get away. He shut the door and slid down the back of it, sighing. “If I had to hear one more pickup line followed by a wink I would’ve screamed.” “They are very stubborn when they are flirting, sorry.” You tried to offer sympathy but you didn’t know how to offer it. You’ve never really known when you were being flirted with. “What is your number?” Jongho had his phone out ready to call your phone. Once you gave him the number, he pressed the green call button and listened for the ringing. You could hear a faint male hello come from his phone. “Put it on speaker.” He complied and soon the male’s voice echoed through the room. “Hello?” “Jackson?” How could he have your phone? Did one of the girls give it to him? You didn’t have to think for long as he told you why. “You dropped your phone when you took off. I tried to give it to the girls but they were busy trying to figure out what to do.”

A few more words were exchanged later and you were on your way to meet Jackson on the campus lot to get your phone back. Jongho opted to go with you for “protection” as he had put it. It was chilly out but that was expected since fall was around the corner. Jackson was already waiting on the bench by the light post. “Hey, sorry about what I did to your girlfriend.” “Wait- girlfriend? You’re explaining when we leave.” You raised your hand to his mouth to shush him. Jackson shrugged. “It’s not that personal for me. I know you didn’t do it to hurt me.” “It was a dare,” you confessed. He nodded, shrinking into his coat feeling a bit of the breeze. “Let’s not do it again, please. She might start to go after you,” Jackson joked making you laugh. “I promise I won’t. Give her my condolences for my actions and her father.” “Oh, she’s thankful for that. Her dad has been annoying her for the past 23 years of her life.” Jongho tugged the sleeve of your sweatshirt to let you know it was getting late. “Well, I got to go. Bye, Jackson!” “Bye.”

The apartment was chaotic when you reached home. All of your games were out and being played in different areas of the apartment, most likely because of the girls. Drinks were strewn everywhere also courtesy of the girls who knew they were free to pretty much anything in the area. At least they kept the boys entertained so they didn’t feel awkward. A knock sounded on the door behind you making you turn around and open it. “Pizza!” “Thank you, here is your tip.” The delivery boy thanked you and left you with the 10 pizzas teetering in your hand. Thankfully, Jongho who was right beside you, took half of them and carefully stepped over the boys, girls, and games. You tried to follow suit but you weren’t necessarily the most graceful person. Somi grabbed four of the pizzas and left you with just one and you thanked her, feeling less burden carrying just one pizza. Everyone cleaned up their games and put them back before you allowed them to grab a pizza and sit on the couch to watch a new movie.

The time went by quickly and so did the pizza. Even though you had just met the boys, it felt like they have been your friends forever. They gave you that sense of comfort and you almost felt like you could tell them your deepest darkest secrets without being judged or laughed at and it made you feel good. Maybe this newfound friendship would be a long one. Seonghwa was the first to stand up, distracting you from thinking about them for much longer. He collected the trash and attempted to clean up a little bit, not wanting to leave the house that he was a guest in messy as it would eat him up alive. Little by little, the boys all stood up, said goodbye to you, and asked for your number to be able to meet up with you again under different circumstances. You complied and walked them out. Exhausted from the day's events, you laid down in your bed not bothering to wake up the girls. Almost immediately as your head hit the pillow, sleep consumed you and dreams filled your head. Thankfully, tomorrow was a weekend so you had nothing to do.

——————————

A few of the girls had left due to papers to write for their unbearable professors. Somi, Lisa, and Maria stayed over since they were in the same class as you and also had no homework. You grabbed a quick shower washing the bad vibes of yesterday off before starting today. Once you were satisfied, you threw on a random pair of jeans and a loose shirt. “Hey, Wooyoung asked if he and the boys could come over today so I said yes,” Somi nonchalantly stated as you made your way towards the diminishing stack of pancakes Maria had made. Grabbing one, you started to shove it in your mouth. “You gotta stop shoving things in your mouth, you look like a hamster right now.” You attempted to tell her to shut up but it came out muffled. “Someone’s at the door, go get it hamster,” Lisa teased, watching you grab another pancake and opening the door. “You have something in your mouth,” San pointed out while poking your cheeks, making you swallow the now chewed pancake.

“Ooh, pancakes!” Yunho eyed the last one in your hand and you sighed before handing it to him. “What!? Did the pancake loving _______ just give up the last pancake to Yunho?” Somi asked in disbelief that you actually gave up any food let alone a pancake. “Yes I did, I’m capable of being nice thank you very much.” You allowed the boys to enter into the apartment and sit wherever they want. “We want to know if you three want to go to the skatepark with us!” “I haven’t been in years, I want to go!” Maria exclaimed which took you by shock because she’s never mentioned she knew how to do any skateboarding or such. Nevertheless, you and the girls agreed but now you had to wait for them to get ready. You plopped down on the couch next to Mingi and sighed. “Everything alright?” He asked. “Yeah, just sore. Those thorns felt like talons digging into my skin.” Jongho perked up ready to say something he hoped to make you laugh instead of cringe. “If it makes you feel any better, I think that guy yesterday is having a worse day.” You giggled remembering the bloody nose and busted cheek on the man while he was being carted away to Big Dan.

A sharp ring filled the air with its cries signaling someone was getting a call. You assumed it was Seonghwa judging from the way he reached for it first putting it on speaker. A deep voice cut through the air startling you. “Hyung, are you coming today or what?” “Yeah, we’re bringing a few friends though so we are waiting on them.” An ‘oh’ came from the other side and you couldn’t tell if it was a good oh or bad oh. “Is it that person from yesterday that decided to go over the wall into the thorns instead of walk through the gates?” The voice inquired, just slightly curious because you were the first person that had the balls to climb the wall and fall into thorns. “Mmhm. Them and a few of their friends.” “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” With that, he hung up not caring if Seonghwa had said goodbye or not. It came across as rude at first but when you saw that none of the boys paid attention to it, you assumed that was just part of his personality. “We’re ready!” You turned to see the girls all dressed in different styles which makes you wonder again, how did you all become friends when you were so different?

The park wasn’t as crowded as usual which was a bit of relief. Somewhere along the trip, the group was forced to stop so Maria could buy a skateboard since she left hers at home hours away. Lisa decided to buy roller skates to see if she could skate around in them again like she did when she was a toddler. You bought nothing knowing you wouldn’t be able to stay up that well so it was a waste of money. Maria was the first to start refreshing her memory and soon enough, she was doing tricks on the half-pipe and in the pool-like area. Feeling envious, you watched as she aced everything almost as if she never stopped. Lisa on the other hand, struggled a bit. She fell many times before she remembered the little tricks and tips her father had taught her. “They’re so good.” Your voice was laced with jealousy but your face was stoic. “Careful there, someone might think you are jealous,” San teased. “Because I am. I’ve always wanted to learn how to ride a skateboard but I never had a teacher.”

Hongjoong had stated that his friend would be there soon. It wasn’t long before Maria rolled up with a big grin on her face. “That was so fun! You guys should try.” “______ will!” Someone volunteered you and you wanted to slap them but before you could protest, Jongho had pulled you up towards the skateboard. “Just stand on it and I’ll push you.” He helped you up onto the skateboard. Just standing there, you felt queasy and wobbly. “I don’t think I can do this,” you cried out as Jongho pushed you forward on the skateboard. “Of course you can. Your balance can’t be that ba-“ His words were cut short as the skateboard flew out from underneath you. You fell forward, your eyes shut bracing yourself for the impact onto the cold, hard concrete. It never came. Hands had grabbed your arm to save you from falling as your face came into contact with a firm chest. The hands pulled you up so you were in a standing position. “Yeosangie to the rescue!” Wooyoung cheered out as you caught a glimpse of the boy in front of you.

Your jaw dropped and you let out an inaudible gasp. It was the boy you watched the day you fell in the park. “Careful,” his words were brash and empty. Yeosang turned towards the boys and headed over to sit on the concrete garden ledge with the others completely ignoring you. “Sorry,” you mumbled, not caring if he heard or not. “Be nice, Sang,” Hongjoong warned watching the interaction between you two knowing that his friend wasn't the nicest to new people. He didn’t mean it to be rude, Yeosang just didn’t know how to give the best first impressions and Hongjoong didn’t want him to scare you away. Luckily, you brushed it off not being so good with first impressions yourself. “Hey, you’re the dude with the awesome frontside heelflip!” Maria exclaimed, gushing over Yeosang’s skills. “Thanks.” This time his voice wasn’t as formed, as if he was embarrassed or flustered that someone had complimented him. “Is Sangie blushing?” “No.” He stood up and walked back towards the rails ignoring everyone for the rest of the day.

—————————————-

It’s become a ritual for you to go with the boys to the skate park. You swore Yeosang hated you or had a vendetta against you at least but nothing was clear. Occasionally, the girls would go with you but more often than not, they were busy with school or work. Today was no different save for the fact that the boys were busy as well. For some reason, you found the grinding of wheels against concrete and the here and there cheers when someone did a trick soothing. So, to clear your mind you headed to the one place you could probably find blindfolded. The sun was beating down on everything around you, sharing its warmth which was a nice change of pace from the chilly days. Instead of sitting on the concrete garden wall that has become a staple to you, you sat on a little grass patch in the corner. You brought a book in case you wanted to read but all the action made you curious. Eventually, you did get around to reading and somehow you were lulled to sleep. It was sunset when you woke up. Your book which you had fallen asleep with open was now neatly closed with a bookmark in it sitting next to your bag.

You sat up to see if everything was still in there when a coat fell off of you. “Don’t worry, everything is still there,” a familiar voice responded. Quickly, you turned your head towards where the voice came from, and low and behold, it was Yeosang. He was walking towards you with his board in one hand and a helmet in the other. You stifled a laugh at his helmet hair flying everywhere but all in all it suited him. “Is this your jacket?” Yeosang nodded and you rushed to dust it off and give it back to him. “Keep it for now, it’s getting cold out. I was waiting for you to wake up to make sure you got home safe.” It made your heart leap with joy that he waited for you but you also felt guilty. Mingi had said that Yeosang did not like to be out late because he likes to sleep and you kept him from his sleep. “I’ll treat you to some chicken in return for me stealing your sleep time.” Yeosang chuckled lightly before holding his now free hand out to help you up. “Sounds like a deal but uh…. who told you you were stealing my sleep time?” “Mingi.”

Thankfully, the chicken place was still open by the time you got there. They allowed you and Yeosang to sit at the outside tables and eat while they cleaned the inside preparing to lock the doors. “Mingi is a liar,” Yeosang stated in between bites. You were taken aback a bit but questioned why he said such a thing. “He does it to be funny and his words are mainly true but if there is food involved, you can interrupt my sleep time anytime.” You giggled at his statement feeling honoured knowing that the best apology for Yeosang is food. “So why did you come to the skate park today?” “I find skateboarding fascinating and fun looking so I go to watch people mainly. I like to live vicariously through them.” Suddenly, you found your last piece of chicken depressing and returned it to its place on the plate. “Why live through people instead of learning it?” “I’ve never been able to have someone teach me anything. Like, I don’t even know what the foot positioning is or how to stop, I just know that you push off and somehow end up standing sideways on the board.”

“I’ll teach you.” You perked up and looked him in the eye. “You’re serious?” When he nodded you jumped up in joy. “This is going to be the best day of my life.” Yeosang laughed watching you dance into the empty streets and back towards him. “YEOSANG IS THE GREATEST PERSON EVER!” He was glad that you guys were in the shopping part of town otherwise, he would’ve killed you for embarrassing him. The whole way back to the skatepark you skipped happily beside Yeosang who eyed you from the corner of his eyes. At first, you were worried about the darkness of the park but Yeosang reassured you that there were lights for people who’d rather skate at night. “We won’t be doing the fancy stuff. Just trying to get you to go like two feet without falling off for today.” “You mean, this will happen more than once?” He gave you a ‘duh’ look and opened the gate for you. “And they say chivalry is dead.” “It is, I just don’t trust you to open this gate. You might attract some random person threatening to arrest you again.”

You scoffed but walked in anyways leaving him behind. “I’ve got the skateboard.” Sighing, you turned around and walked back towards him. “That’s what I thought.” “You’re mean.” He waved the skateboard in your face as if saying ‘I’m the teacher so be nice’. “Okay so starting off, positioning. Put your foot here, just beneath the front bolts. Once you get more comfortable, it might change.” You did as he said putting your foot beneath the top bolts. “Wait.” Before you could ask, Yeosang put the helmet on your head and snapped it. “Safety first, don’t want to destroy the last two brain cells of yours.” You grumbled, mocking his words. “Last two brain cells. Asshole.” “What was that.?” Mustering up the most innocent eyes you could, you turned towards him and replied. “Nothing, sir. I’m ready for further instruction.” The ‘sure’ look on his face let you know that he had heard what you said but nevertheless let it go. “Hold my hand for balance while you push off. To get used to the skateboard, you must first get used to the bumpy feeling of the wheels against the concrete.” You grabbed his hand in a vice-like grip making him wince. With your left foot, you pushed off and move it behind you on the board. “Now turn your feet.”

By the time you had started to turn your feet, you fell off the board. “Good first run. Let’s go again.” It was around midnight when Yeosang tried to coax you into going home. “One more time, please!” You were bound and determined to get this right by the end of the night. “Fine.” Once again, you grabbed his hand and pushed off. Successfully, you managed to turn your feet and ride for a good 5 feet before the skateboard stopped itself. “I DID IT, YEOSANG!” You jumped off and high-fived him jumping up and down at your success. “Meet you here tomorrow at the same time.” “No, I’ll see you tomorrow before then. The boys asked me here to hang out.” Yeosang nodded and began to walk you out. “Where do you live?” “At the apartment complex by the college.” He walked you the entire way home making you feel warm inside. You bid him a goodbye and watched him skate away before heading inside feeling as though you just solved the mysteries of the universe.

—————————-

Yeosang didn’t interact with you much during the day except for a small wave but when night came, he was all business. You two had a deal. He taught you how to ride a skateboard and you bought him chicken. It was a fair deal to both of you and it worked out for the following month. At this point, you were able to skate so Yeosang decided to teach you a few basic tricks. It was an everyday ritual. From sundown to midnight you practiced and honed your skills with Yeosang who was surprisingly really fun to hang out with and is very encouraging. The boys were starting to notice you and their friend hanging out more and talking even to the point he’d come up to you with your favourite pop he had just bought. Two of them (WOOYOUNG AND SAN) decided to tease you and him about your growing friendship calling it a crush which led to you blushing and Yeosang smacking them upside the head.

—————————-

Your phone buzzed signaling you got a text.

You laughed at the little banter you just had and decided that you could finish your show before heading out. Being at the park in the middle of the night without Yeosang felt weird and it wasn’t like you could practice skateboarding as you had always used his. You sat on the ledge humming to yourself, waiting on Yeosang and shivering slightly. “Why did I forget to bring a jacket?” As if the world heard you, the breeze stopped for a few minutes allowing you to warm up. “You didn’t bring a jacket. Pitiful.” “Yeosang!” Your body jumped up before you could realize it and was already moving towards the boy. “I got you something. A present I guess.” “Eh? You got me a present? Are you sick?” You reached out for his forehead making him step backwards. “I’m not sick. Now take this present and open it before I return it.” He handed you a wrapped box with a cute little bow on top of it making you smile. “I uh, customised it,” his voice quavered as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously awaiting your reaction. The wrapping tore easily giving you a quick entrance to a long blank packing box.

Your hands fumbled with the tape a bit before Yeosang had to stepped in and helped you. Inside was a skateboard that was brand new with multicoloured wheels. Gingerly, you pulled it out and flipped it over, running your fingers along the cherry blossom design on the bottom of the deck. In the bottom corner stood his painted signature. “Yeosang, you did this for me?” Tears welled up in your eyes as you set down the skateboard and grabbed the helmet and pads which sported a similar look. “Oh, Yeosang.” You tackled him in a tight hug thankful that he had worn a black shirt so your tears couldn’t be seen. His arms wrapped around you in response hugging you back. The two of you stood like that until Yeosang pulled away and put the helmet on you, snapping it like he had the very first night. “Give it a try.” You grabbed the skateboard from him and set it down carefully, almost trying to preserve the prettiness of it.

The skateboard itself was smooth to ride on. The tricks you had mastered were carefully done and perfectly executed making Yeosang cheer. “I want a picture of us together with our skateboards,” you huffed, a little chilly. “Okay.” The way he said it with such ease made you realize how far you have come in the friendship. A month ago, he wouldn’t even have looked at you for more than 3 seconds let alone be in the same 5-foot area as you and now here he is, willing to take a picture with you. Your phone sat atop the bench a few feet away with the 10-second self-timer on. Yeosang pulled you closer to him and held his skateboard so the design showed. You decided to do the same, sporting a big smile as you heard the shutter go off. “I can’t wait to skate around tomorrow on my brand new skateboard! This means so much to me. Thank you.” “Stop before you cry again. People will start thinking you are getting hurt,” he teased making you laugh and the tears that tried to creep out, dry up.

“Let’s see if you can land the frontside 180.” Your face fell at the name of the truck that has been getting your hopes down for days now. “Hey, don’t give me the long face now. I believe in you,” Yeosang cheered you on watching as you attempted to push off the ground. As soon as you landed it perfectly, you yelled in joy quickly kicking up your skateboard and running towards Yeosang. “You did it.” “I’m so happy I could kiss you right now!” He stopped for a minute blushing at the thought of your lips meeting his. “Wait- Are you actually blushing right now? The Kang Yeosang is blushing because I said I could kiss you right now?” “Shut up!” His voice was a few octaves higher now that you called him out. “Yeosangie, what am I going to do with you?” “Stop embarrassing me. I know that you probably don’t like me like that so just let it go.” Now it was your turn to stop. Just those words made you feel hurt that he wouldn’t think you’d like him but au contraire.

You’ve been harvesting a crush on him since the day you fell off the skateboard and busted your knee. He had brought you to the nearest pharmacy and tended to your wound telling you it would be alright while you cried. Now, every little thing he did with you made you flustered and it’s even worse when San and Wooyoung tease you about your crush. You tilted Yeosang’s face up to look at you and you could see the fear of rejection in his eyes. “Yeosang. Why would you say such a thing?” “Because it’s true.” A soft sigh left your lips as you furrowed your eyebrows. “I think I know me better than you do and I’m pretty sure I’m telling myself to kiss you.” He started to open his mouth to question you but you cut him off with a soft kiss to which he reciprocated. His soft hands made their way up to the back of his neck and pulled you closer not wanting the kiss to end, not wanting to wake up from this dream. Your lips to him, felt like clouds with a hint of cotton candy flavouring. Odd to some but it made him feel high on cloud 9. His lips to you were soft and warm with a taste of the vanilla cola he drank earlier. A euphoric feeling that you’d never be able to get enough of.

You were the first to pull away for air leaving Yeosang chasing for more. “Will you go on a date with me?” Yeosang was surprised that you asked him out first, not expecting you to be so bold even though you were the one who just initiated the kiss. “We’ve been on like 37 dates already if you want to count our skate practices,” he said as-matter-of-factly. “Yeah but we didn’t do couple things though.” “We can do them from now on. I mean if you want to…” you nodded and hugged him, confirming your relationship. “I just realized your hands are ice cold.” “I’ve been cold for the entire night, I forgot my jacket, remember.” Without saying anything else, he took off his jacket and handed it to you. “Wear this from now on, so the boys get the memo.” “You’re the jealous type aren’t you?” He almost got offended that you’d say such a thing but he knew it was true. “I’m not that jealous. I just don’t like guys who are good looking. For example, the boys.” “Whatever, Romeo.”

—————————

The first thing the boys did when you met up with them was question your skateboard and gear. “Let’s see if you can do better than last time.” You glared at Jongho, dropped down your board and skated away from him towards Yeosang who was behind the mini-vert fixing his wheel. “Hey, babe. Looking fine today.” “Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself,” he teased making you gasp and smack him lightly. The boys watched in the distance gobsmacked that you were actually touching Yeosang. “Is your wheel good?” “Just a second. Yeah, just had a rock making the wheel not move but I got it.” To make sure, Yeosang rolled the skateboard back and forth to check. “I think the boys are confused,” he said, glancing up at the boys. “Want to make them even more confused?” “How do we do that?” You shrugged hoping he had an idea instead. “Do tricks? Kiss? Hold hands skating back? All of the above?” Why did he give the fourth option you wondered. “Which do you want to do?” “All of the above?”

Needless to say, Jongho’s jaw dropped when you did an Ollie, Hongjoong almost fainted when he saw you guys holding hands, and Wooyoung and San screamed when Yeosang caught you off guard by kissing you. “Who? What? When? Where? How?” San fired question after question not giving you or your boyfriend time to answer. “Me and Yeosang. Dating. Yesterday. Here. We both got crushes on each other.” “But you guys never talked though.” A plethora of yeahs came from the others. “Good point, Yunho but, long story short, I fell asleep here one day, Yeosang waited, I took him out for chicken, I told him I wanted to learn how to skateboard, and he taught me. He also got me this skateboard yesterday which led to some words which led to a kiss which led to dating. Kind of backwards but it works.” Seonghwa sported a disgusted face when you mentioned the kiss, grossed out trying to imagine the guy he’s been friends with for many years and has never dated in that time, kissing his new friend. But ultimately, the boys were happy that you two were together and happy. Now came the hard part, telling the girls who’d never let you hear the end of it.

[patpran]

I'm not trying to be an apologist bc fuck what they said and did. I find it abhorrent, but shouldn't we also make an attempt to educate them? I'm not a fan of cancel culture because it negates the fact that people need to be educated, learn, change and admit their mistakes. we need to educate ourselves and realise we have done abhorrent things and make a conscious effort to unlearn these biases that we have. (I get they're almost 30 but the learning can start anytime)

okay so . i have very conflicting opinions on this so here’s a me-to-me debate under the cut LMAO excuse all my errors..... it is 3:15am and this shit just had way too many compound complex sentences for my brain to follow from start to end <3

1. i agree with you. cancel culture(?) is stupid and it’d be nice if we could educate people

being harsh and just screaming CANCELLED won’t solve anything because it’ll only serve to infuriate both sides. if you try and explain things nicely, maybe they’ll get it. it’s a bit idealistic to think that some famous thai dudes with 1 million twitter followers will listen to you, but it’s worth a shot if it means helping people become, well, better versions of themselves?

i also don’t agree with this whole cancel culture phenomenon because it’s honestly (sometimes) just... so over the top. it also does not work!! my girl madison beer has been cancelled AT LEAST three times? she’s still out and about! turning your hatred into a hashtag (insert name)isoverparty turns it into a useless bandwagon that people hop on, then off again onto the next one of the next person being cancelled. was that cumbersome to read? yeah, that’s the feeling of cancel culture, honestly

so yeah, educating them would be great if it’s doable. especially when it’s someone you love and adore. none of these famous people are bad inside and out. if you can correct their problematic aspects, they’ll become the new and improved version of someone you love. you can love them more after that.

2. maybe it’s because i’m incredibly self-serving and completely deficient in the empathy department, but who has the fucking TIME or ENERGY? and why can’t they do it themselves?

yeah, they CAN be educated. but as a dumb 18 year old on the internet who has virtually no influence over anything, the fatalistic answer is: i can’t do shit to educate these grown ass men. 

additionally, from my POV, i’m watching people who are: 1. from a country way less conservative and shielded than mine 2. much older than me make dumb “mistakes” i have been teaching myself NOT to make since i was thirteen. and it’s not that resources that educate you on social issues don’t exist in non-english languages. there are plenty of big thai twiter accounts that tweet about social justice and the likes, amongst the mountains of other news sources i’m sure exist. information should never come to you -- you should be the one seeking it out for your own personal betterment.

bottom line: i don’t see how they couldn’t have, and still can’t educate themselves. i’m not saying to cancel them, because cancel culture or whatever the fuck it’s called is a dumb, dumb, DUMB concept. i’m saying that in the event they make a mistake, the process should go like this:

people call them out --> they realise something is wrong --> they do their own personal research to figure out where they went wrong --> they are properly educated --> they issue an apology --> don’t be dumb and make the same mistake again

even at 75 years old, becoming educated is not too late. god, i’m still unlearning my prejudices despite priding myself on being this walking sack of social awareness and acceptance. at 18, i’m educating myself. at 40, i hope i’ll continue to do so. likewise, these 20-30 year old dudes who are no short of access to fun resources should go get educated. i agree with you, in that cancel culture is disagreeable. “cancelling” someone should only come about when they’ve been given chance after chance to go get educated and pull an apology and changed behaviour out of their asses only to show up empty handed. however, we shouldn’t be obligated to educate them. we can nudge them in the right direction and tell them they’re wrong: i think that’s sufficient. an idol is not worth being your idol if they can’t do something as simple as doing some google searches or reading of fan comments to see what they’ve done wrong. 

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Two

Wattpad

Word Count: 3.2k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse, violence, sexual situations

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14

"Ah!" I squeal with a small giggle laced through it, Nikki's lips pressing to my shoulder while he pulls out of me and his cum spills on the inside of my thighs that are wide open.

My leg's hooked over his hip as he lays behind me with his arm snaking around my waist, between my breasts, while his hand has a solid hold on my throat.

When he's done, he's pressing one last kiss to my cheek before rolling over on his back, reaching for something on his night table.

I shift to my back, staring up at the mirrored ceiling to see him holding something out to me.

I turn my head to look at him just as he's taking my hand and sliding my wedding ring back on, pressing a little kiss to my hand before grabbing at my jaw assertively, kissing me.

"Apology accepted." I say once he pulls away.

"Yeah, ditto." He chuckles, kissing me one last time before I'm giving out a content sigh and sitting up to go shower.

Once I get out, I dry off and wrap myself in a towel, brushing through my wet hair with my fingers as I step into our bedroom to get some lotion on and get dressed.

"Wait, wait." Nikki stops me as I squeeze lotion onto my hand and I look up at him and raise my brows, seeing him grab his camera from the drawer in the nightstand. "Okay, drop the towel and oil up nice: I'm gonna need something to keep me company while I'm in the studio for countless hours the next several weeks."

I roll my eyes and hold back a smile, throwing my towel at him and it hits him in the face.

"Woo!" He cheers, tossing the towel away and I cover my chest just as the flash goes off and I shake my head a little, ignoring him collecting the dispensed Polaroid as I start putting my moisturizer on.

When I'm finished, I'm pulling on sweat pants and hooking my bra, about to pull a tank top on.

"Hey, Viv?" Nikki asks me.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Is the Lord's prayer important?"

I furrow my brows, finding it odd that's he's asking.

"Well, it's the template Jesus gave Christians to use when praying so yes, it's very important." I reply and he nods a little.

"So...like...what is the prayer, exactly?"

I drop the tank-top in my hands, my eyes widen, and I look at him like he's lost his mind.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Nikki Sixx?"

"Ha, ha." He sarcastically lets out.

"No, seriously, either you're a clone, had a bad dose of drugs, or your body is officially done with and dying and God's jabbing at you to throw one last 'hail Mary' attempt at salvation before you croak."

"No, I just wanna know what I need to say when I pray to you." He replies with a smirk and I pretend to nearly trip and fall on the floor as if it's slippery.

"Woah, woah, woah, you gotta give me a warning before you say something so slick." I tell him, grinning and he pulls me onto him, laughing. "And to answer your question, it's 'Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen'." I finish, deciding he wasn't even listening, but I have a weird feeling he's taking notes. "Seriously, though, why're you asking?" I add, my fingers fiddling with the various necklaces hanging around his neck.

A devious, childish, sneaky little tug of his lips his highlighting the "up to no good" look in his hazel eyes as his pointer finger traces the crucifix around my neck before meeting my gaze.

"Just curious."

Just a dumbass.

I finish dressing before stepping out to check the mail.

When I come back, I realize there's a handwritten note pinned to the door.

It's signed by our accountant and I roll my jaw.

It was $2,500.00 last May, which means he's been going through $5,000.00 a day.

"Uh, Nikki?!" I call coming into the house with the mail and the letter, going to our bedroom where he's plucking at his bass, waving the letter.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Sixx 1 & 2,

Sixx 1 is still spending exponential amounts of money on heroin a day. I left a warning last May, and said Nikki will either be dead or the two of you will be completely broke by May this year. That still stands because the amount being spent has doubled since then. Slow down." I read it off. "Nikki, it was $2,500.00 last time so he's saying you're currently spending $5,000.00 a day on smack?!" I raise my voice. "How the hell can someone possibly do that much heroin--or any freaking drug--in one day?!"

"Viv--"

"--That's $1.6 million a year! Did we even make that much last year!" I scream.

"We? Vivian, you've never worked a day in your fucking life. There is no 'we made', it's what I made. And because I'm the one who made the money, I can do whatever the hell I want with it so just hop off."

"Nikki, baby, we have bills, and insurance didn't cover as much on my time in the hospital and follow-ups as we had hoped so we have to spend money on necessities and not..." I trail off, calming myself down, rubbing my forehead, trying not to start crying.

"Viv, I'll handle it." He tells me after a moment of quiet between us. "Alright?"

I rub my lips together, letting out a sigh as he holds his hand out to take the stack of bills from me.

I hand them over, not saying a word more, before leaving him to continue scraping up motivation to actually write something.

He wrote "Wild Side", which completely reworks and assaults the Lord's prayer...then the bastard listed me as a co-write because, "well you told me what the prayer was to begin with so technically you helped me write it."

When the conservatives went digging around once the album was released, they dragged me through the mud when they saw my name attached to a bastardized version of something sacred to christianity and I heard every degrading, yet passive, insult any holier-than-thou Bible-biddy could throw at me.

I stopped going to church for quite a while after that because I didn't even want to face the possibility of all those people smiling in my face while thinking, "she's not the really for God."

"Valentine's Day?" I ask Doc, raising my brows. "...Really?"

"Well, they wanna get a good feel of Nikki and you're obviously a part of his life, so they figured spending Valentine's Day with you two would be pretty interesting." He explains.

"I don't want anybody getting a good feel of Nikki's anything." I reply stubbornly, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, and Viv won't let me pull out the really special techniques while someone's in the house with us." Nikki adds. "And she only lets me do them on special occasions."

"Nobody's feeling anybody else, and you two sodomites can have all the fun you want once the interview is done with. It'll take four hours, tops." Doc says, looking at Nikki. "We're gonna have to start promoting the album."

This is the selling point.

Nikki sighs, rubbing his face, groaning.

"Fine." He gives up, looking at me. "We can entertain the nosy bastard for a few hours, I guess."

"I suppose." I roll my eyes.

"Thank you." Doc let's out with relief.

"Was that it?" I ask him, glancing around his office.

"Oh, yeah." He nods.

"We drove down here just for you to tell us something you could have easily called and told us over the phone?" Nikki asks next.

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to see how you look and sure enough you look like shit." Doc states and Nikki rolls his eyes. "Which reminds me, clean up your house and make yourself seem like you're not on drugs. K?" Doc gives us a parting word of advice as we stand up to leave.

"Yeah, yeah, got it." Nikki waves him off, leaving in front of me.

"Viv." Doc says to me and I nod reassuringly.

"I'll make sure he keeps it together for the interview."

"Thank you, you two be careful on the way home."

"We will, bye." I shut the door and follow Nikki out to his Jeep.

"I really don't feel like dealing with the press." He grumbles, looking at me now with his sunglasses on and I give him a small smile.

"Maybe it won't be that bad."

"I don't like people I don't fuck with in my house. It's my house. My space. It isn't a fucking amusement park that's open for review." He cranks the car and I put my seat belt on.

"Baby?"

"What?" He says a little harsh.

"It will be okay." I pat his fluffy hair. "K?"

He doesn't answer, actually pouting like a spoiled little boy.

When he ignores me, about to start driving, I raise a brow, unbuckle, and my fingers slowly fumble with the button on his jeans as his pout falters and his smirk replaces it, followed by the sound of a content, groan-filled sigh, and the back of his head hitting the back of his seat when I get my mouth around his prick.

Once we get home I'm wiping the remains of slobber and cum from my lips and he's struggling to keep his legs from collapsing.

"Are you okay?" I ask him smugly when his leg shakes a little bit as he unlocks the front door.

"Watch it, Sixx." He warns as he points at me, his hand popping me on the ass when I walk in front of him to go inside, and I let out a small shriek, following it with a laugh.

My laughter abruptly stops when I see Vanity watching T.V.

She actually seems sober enough, but she looks like she just came off of a bender.

Nikki and I look at each other.

"Oh, there you are. Nikki wasn't answering the phone and I wanted to see him." She tells us, her eyes glued him, and he sighs.

"Well, I'm here. What do you want?" He asks her in a snap, taking his jacket off.

"Nikki, quit being rude." I tell him quietly.

"Showing up to people's houses uninvited is rude." He replies, glaring at her.

"Not when I gave her the code to the gate and a key." I state.

His eyes bug for a second and he's raising his brows at me.

"You what?"

"Tansy has the code and a key, Tommy, Vince and Mick have the code and a key. Izzy, Steven, Slash, Duff, Axl--"

"--That's different." He cuts me short.

"How? They're our friends and so is she." I point out.

"If I'm not welcome I can just go." She says, grabbing her coat.

"Bye." Nikki says just as I say, "no, it's okay."

He and I give each other dirty looks.

"I was actually about to start cooking dinner and invite some friends over so feel free to stay, please." I offer to her. "Nikki, I need your help in the kitchen."

He follows me and I yank on the ends of his hair once we're alone, scolding him.

"Will you stop being a jackass to her?!" I whisper-yell.

"Can you stop being so fucking nice to people? It's stupid."

"Oh, God forbid Nikki Sixx be married to someone who's not a complete bitch." I roll my eyes, grabbing a few pans from our cabinet and he let's out a heavy breath.

"She's fucking crazy, Vivian." He argues and I turn to face him.

"You say the same thing about me any time I piss you off. I really believe she's a good girl, Nikki. She just needs one, good, solid friend that isn't just friends with her to have someone to do drugs with." I explain.

"Oh, yeah, Viv, she's really good...at being a fucking slut."

I pop him in the side of the face and point my finger at him.

"You don't talk like that about Vince or Tommy or Robbin so why the hell talk like that about her?"

"Because she is one." He ignores me and I let out a breath. "Some of the dudes she's fucked are married." He adds.

"Tansy has slept with married men, is she a slut, too?" I ask him and he rolls his jaw. "What I thought."

"Viv, I really don't--"

"Okay, Nikki. Whatever you say." I interrupt him, grabbing some things from the fridge. "She's an awful person, got it. Can you please help me with this so I can clean up the house some?" I ask.

He hesitates for a second before opening the packet of chicken on the counter I pulled from the fridge.

"Thank you." I smile, kissing his cheek, before leaving him alone so I can get the house in nice shape.

To say Nikki projected shit onto Vanity would be an understatement. Her hands weren't clean, of course, but he would often externally put her down the way he internally put himself down for what the two of them were doing to me. It was moments like that, that I looked back on after finding everything out, and would want to hit myself.

He practically told me they were sleeping together without actually saying "hey, I'm screwing this woman that you think is your friend, and you're being too nice and naive to think we wouldn't do that to you."

"Tommy and Heather, Vince and Sharise, Tansy and Vanity, Duff, Slash, Steven, Izzy and Axl." I tell Mick how many people will be at dinner and I hear him let out a breath on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know, Viv." He tells me.

"Mick, c'mon, I haven't seen you very much the past year."

"I don't know..."

"Mick--"

"--Mick, get your ass over here so we can have a good time. We're gonna see you in the studio tomorrow, anyway, so just come celebrate the commencement of the start of the new album." Nikki says after he takes the phone from me.

Mick says something and Nikki grins.

"Alright, bye." He hangs up. "He's in." He tells me.

"Thank you for snatching the phone from me, dickhead." I say, half-joking.

"Okay, I am this close," he holds his pointer finger and thumb centimeters apart from each other. "to bending you over my knee and beating your ass."

"Promise?" I reply, grinning, and he tugs me closer to him, but just before our lips meet, Vanity is walking--more so bursting--into the kitchen.

"Nikki, when are we hanging out?" She asks him, nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Nikki's hands dig into my hips as if he's channeling his frustration instead of being rude.

I know what "hangout" means, and I don't need him cracked out, especially not now with guests coming over soon.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Vanity." I explain to her as politely as I can.

"Why not?" She asks me.

"Just not aright now." Nikki tells her, actually more tolerant than he was earlier.

I don't know if I'm shocked because he's not being an ass to her, or because he's  turning down the opportunity to go hit a crackpipe. 

Vanity looks at me for a split second--a very short, nearly millisecond--as if I'm the fucking Devil, before it vanishes and she smiles at us.

"Okay, I'm gonna be in the bathroom freshening up." She tells us, walking in the direction of the guest bathroom, and I let out a breath when she's gone.

"You mean you don't wanna greet our guests naked, waving a gun, and accuse them of being the FBI before opening fire?" I ask him.

He just gives me an unamused look.

"I'm gonna go change before that 'ass beating' is administered." I suggest.

"Yeah, good idea."

I change, put on some makeup, and run my fingers through my hair to comb it out before stepping into the kitchen to help Nikki finish up.

I'm met with uncooked food.

"Uh...Nikki?!" I call, glancing at the clock to see it's 8:00pm.

People will be here any minute.

I go looking for him, smelling the familiarity of cocaine.

"Oh my God." I say to myself, opening the guest bedroom to see Nikki and Vanity crouched over their pipes with a mountain of blow out.

They look at me with wild eyes.

As if on cue, the doorbell rings.

"Please be someone sober. Please be someone sober." I repeat, shutting the door as I step to the door.

I open it to reveal Duff and the guys.

"I need help." I tell them, sounding panicked. "Nikki and Vanity's cracked out."

"Um, w-we were gonna ask you for help." Duff tells me.

"What, why?"

They move over and I see Tansy, shaking a little.

"Are you--"

Before I can finish, a familiar "BANG" is sounding through the house and is joined with a loud, ear-shattering shriek of glass breaking, and we hit the ground, Duff securing me under him before a second shot is fired, breaking more glass, causing Tansy to start screaming and crying from under Axl and Steven.

I thank God when Nikki doesn't shoot again, instead the sound of him scrambling to get to his closet, and the sound of Vanity's heels scampering along with him has me sighing with relief. I hear him slam our bedroom door, and Duff runs his thumbs under my eyes to wipe at tears that I had no idea were even coming out of me.

"Holy shit." Izzy mumbles. 

"Are you okay?" Duff asks me and I nod as he helps me up.

"Tansy?" I ask her gently, she's got her hands over her ears, tears streaming down her face.

Axl carefully steps into the house as I continue to reassure Tansy.

"Uh, Viv?" Axl asks.

"I got it, Viv." Steven tells me, trying to calm Tansy down.

I follow Axl into the house, and I'm taken back by the sight of our entire ceiling in the living room shattered over our couches, the carpet, the coffee table, the T.V., it's a giant sheet of sparkling, sharp, shards of mirror.

It seems like forever just staring at the damage done to my house, and I'm unable to get words to come out of my mouth.

"Dude, is Tansy alright?" Tommy's voice sounds at the door and we snap around to see him.

I hear Heather and Sharise outside before Vince comes in behind Tommy, their brows raising at the sight of the mess.

"Hooollllyyyy..." the blonde singer drags out.

"You alright?" Axl asks me, and anger rolls through me, my teeth grinding together.

"Viv?" Tommy adds.

"Doc. Bob. Now." Is all I'm able to say.

"On it." Tommy doesn't waste a minute stepping through the glass to get to the phone in the living room while Axl tugs me back outside to avoid murdering Nikki.

That was the first straw that began the process of breaking the camel's back.