#I'm still trying to sort everything OUT BUT LIKE

[hgfictionwriter]

Revelations: Part Four

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie's family stops by for a visit and you feel the divide growing bigger. You're at a loss for how to reconnect, but try - misguided or not.

Warnings: G!P smut. Angsty, emotional smut. G!P penetrative sex. Hand job. Shower sex.

A/N: The rest of the series is here. The emotions in the story are messy. Reader is very hurt and doesn't know how to move forward. Jessie's trying to make everyone happy, including and especially Reader, but doesn't necessarily know how to do that.

"It's so good to see you, sweetie."

You returned Jessie's mom's smile as you reciprocated the sentiment and hugged her back before hugging Jessie's dad and sister.

Her parents and sister dropped off their things at the hotel they were staying at nearby and had just arrived at your and Jessie's apartment.

You proceeded to exchange pleasantries with them; something that was very easy, they were always so warm and welcoming from day one and you felt like a member of their family even before Jessie placed a ring on your finger.

This time felt different though. You tried to not get too lost in your thoughts, but you couldn't help but keep coming back to the reason they were here in the first place.

It wasn't to help with wedding planning. It wasn't just to visit and say 'hi'.

They were here to meet Zoie. And Sara.

Their grandkid - and niece - and the woman Jessie shared her with.

You did your best to smile and act normal. Like this wasn't still killing you inside.

They talked about the agenda and the logistics of their visit. When they were meeting Sara and Zoie. Where. Was Jessie still sure the gifts they brought okay? There was much to sort out and verify and you really had nothing to add. How could you? It wasn't your child they were meeting. Jessie was the one who knew Sara's schedule, not you.

So you smiled and nodded along as though you were just as much a part of this as anyone could be and like it was old news. That all of this was totally fine and so were you.

And as Jessie held your hand and smiled at you as she talked, it was as easy as it could be.

It was harder to pretend when her family talked to you one on one.

"So, how are you doing?" Her mother asked as she came up to you in the kitchen while you poured waters for everyone. You immediately clenched your jaw and swallowed before catching yourself, practicing your smile as you filled the last glass before looking up at her.

"I'm doing okay," you said as brightly as you could. As much as you wanted to act normal, saying you were 'great' would've been far too much a reach for anyone to believe.

She reached out and laid a warm hand on yours, giving a light squeeze as she offered you a small smile that immediately almost brought tears to your eyes. You laughed quietly and turned away to put the water filter in the fridge, trying to compose yourself in those few seconds.

Your eyes flit over to the diamond ring on your finger as you held the fridge door open. You were the one with the ring. You were the one she wanted. You repeated these affirmations in your head and took a quick breath before turning back around.

"It's a shock for everyone," her mom spoke gently as you returned. "I can imagine it hasn't been easy to navigate."

You held her gaze, but you wanted her to stop. You didn't want to talk about this. You were barely hanging on as is. And having her look at you with this apologetic expression - or maybe it was pity - it was just too much to bear.

"It's alright," you said with a forced smile. "It's a lot for Jessie, too. And she's been great about things - now that I know." Your chest twinged in residual anger at how she hid everything from you, but you pushed past it. "She's been really thoughtful and considerate even though she's dealing with so much herself."

You cleared your throat.

"Um, and yeah, Zoie's wonderful. She's so much like Jessie in some ways, it's uncanny," you said with a quiet chuckle. You held your smile steady. "You'll love her."

Her mom smiled and reached out cupping your cheek warmly and just took you in for a couple of seconds. You felt tears starting to burn behind your eyes. You tore yourself away with another forced laugh and gathered two of the glasses.

If she noticed your burgeoning emotions, she made no comment of it.

What was hardest of all though was when you all went to meet with Zoie and Sara at the playground.

Just as before, you did your best to fit in. To be pleasant and warm as you watched her family interacting with her daughter. You stood there quietly, feeling so out of place as they smiled and hugged Jessie's ex, getting to know her, laughing and seeing her be welcomed in as well.

It was a beautiful thing; a family so loving and open, and such a contrast to how bitter and dark you felt in the midst of all of this warmth and new connections.

It wasn't about you. You kept telling yourself that over and over as you felt your mood and mental state sinking lower and lower to no avail. You felt so frustrated with yourself that you could cry. While everyone was getting to know one another, playing and running around, you berated yourself repeatedly for how you just couldn't get on board. Why couldn't you just be happy like everyone else?

No, you were too selfish. This little girl was discovering a new family. After years of missing out, was now being showered with love and affection from the family she should've had from day one. And somehow, pathetically, you just felt sorry for yourself. It felt like you weren't meant to be here. You felt insignificant and like you didn't belong anymore.

"Are you good?"

Jessie's inquiry pulled you from your thoughts. You wanted to snap at her - immediately upset that she was even remotely aware that perhaps you were anything but perfectly okay. You caught yourself.

"I'm good," you promised with a reassuring nod.

Again. It was not about you right now.

She gave you a sweet smile and grabbed you by both hands, gently pulling you towards the action and further into the group. Your heart both melted and ached, and you let her pull you either way.

--------

"We'll be back soon, okay?"

Her parents said as they hugged you both goodbye a few days later.

"And you'll set up a video call with all us and Zoie and Sara for next weekend, right?" Her dad asked. Jessie nodded patiently.

"Yes, dad," she laughed.

"K, just making sure," he said in a joking manner.

You were hugging Elysse when her dad's hushed voice caught your attention. You glanced out of the corner of your eye to see him pulling Jessie aside.

You remained focused on Elysse, but discretely strained to hear what Jessie and her dad were discussing.

"...it's okay...don't worry about it...consider it our gift to you both..."

After her family drove off and you and Jessie went back upstairs to your apartment you watched her quietly. She was acting entirely normal. You were much more vigilant about her behaviour now after everything, but she seemed fine.

Before, you would've assumed if there was something worth telling you, she'd tell you. It was hard to feel confident about that again so quickly though.

"What were you and your dad talking about at the end there?" You asked as she began preparing lunch.

She paused briefly and your senses went into high alert.

She looked over at you, seemingly gathering her thoughts.

"Um, my parents are gifting us part of the venue costs for the wedding," she said in what you imagined she aimed to be a nonchalant way. You frowned at her.

"I thought they were paying for decorations," you said.

She continued pulling things out of the fridge.

"Yeah, they are," she said simply. You frowned further at the back of her head.

"I don't get it. Didn't our last payment for the venue go through already?"

You saw her taking a deep breath before she responded, "Yeah, it did."

You exhaled gruffly, irritation settling in your chest over her simplistic responses.

"So - what's going on?" You asked, tone growing sharp. She took another deep breath and put down her utensils to face you. She folded her arms in front of herself.

"I-" she paused, her expression shifting to an apologetic look that you'd become far too familiar with in recent times. A lump formed in your throat immediately.

"I had to borrow some money from them for my part of the last payment," she admitted, gaze dropping to the floor for several moments before she braved a look at you. She took a step forward, talking eagerly - desperately - now. "It was supposed to be temporary. It's just with the timing of that last payment...with the lawyer fees, and child support, and everything, I didn't have a lot readily available. I have it, you know that, it just wasn't liquid so...I asked my parents."

Your blood was boiling and yet again, you felt a wave of guilt come over you at how ashamed and upset Jessie looked over this confession.

"Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me?" You nearly hissed.

She exhaled roughly, her shoulders slumping as she mustered a response. "I felt terrible! You were so hurt and upset with everything already. You've made so many concessions and you've been so supportive already - I couldn't add this. This was mine to deal with; I didn't want it to affect you."

"Well guess what - every fucking thing you do affects me! So yes, when you have a kid with someone else and you have to pay a shit ton to lawyers, pay child support - including offering to help her pay for her move up here," you added seethingly, "and then can't pay for parts of our wedding. Yes - it impacts me. Fuck, Jess."

Jessie's eyes were still downcast and she frowned harshly as she withstood your reproach.

"You should've told me. We could've figured it out together," you said, tone quieter this time. "I'm so sick of you lying to me. This has to stop."

She closed her eyes. "I just didn't want to push you any more. I know you're dealing with a lot already."

"I'm your fiancée, Jess. Your partner. I know things are tense right now. Delicate. But we have to be able to trust each other," you berated her.

"It wasn't about not trusting you," she said with an imploring look, "I just don't want to hurt you - disappoint you - anymore." She took a breath as she took your hands in hers. "And I've got things sorted now. I was ready to pay my parents back, but my dad isn't letting me. Hence the gift."

You shook your head as you looked away feeling tired and drained.

A few seconds passed and she was about to speak again when her phone buzzed on the counter and her screen lit up. Sara.

You ground your teeth together and heat coursed up through your body.

"Your ex is texting you," you said flatly as you dropped your hands from hers.

Jessie sighed wearily and reached for your hands again, but you stepped aside.

"She's not my ex," she told you in frustration. "Not the way you're thinking it." You scoffed and shot her a hard look.

"No. She's the mother of your child. Which is far more significant," you said, silencing any kind of rebuttal Jessie might have had planned otherwise.

You retreated to the bedroom. Suddenly, the apartment felt far too small with no safe place for reprieve.

------

The next morning you stirred from sleep, opening your eyes to see, as usual, Jessie's side of the bed fully made. You could hear rustling out in the kitchen and you subconsciously let out a tired sigh as recollections of yesterday came back to you.

You laid out on your back and stared wordlessly up at the ceiling. The rest of the evening prior had been tense, but still ended with Jessie's arm wrapped around your waist as you both went to sleep in an unspoken truce.

As if on cue, Jessie gingerly opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. You made eye contact with her and she smiled, opening the door more fully with her shoulder and bearing two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Good morning, baby," she greeted with a soft smile as she rounded the bed and sat down next to you, offering you your mug. You sat up and took it from her, returning her smile. "Did you sleep okay?"

You shrugged lightly. "Yeah, I slept alright. How about you?" She shrugged much the same way you had.

"It was okay," she said, tone a bit down as she looked into her mug before looking back up at you. "I still felt off about everything yesterday. I'm really sorry."

You gave her a faint smile. "Don't lie to me again. I mean it."

She nodded readily. "I understand. I do."

She took a breath and cracked a half-hearted smile. You couldn't help but notice how her eyes betrayed her. "Think you'll ever forgive me?" She asked with what was meant to be a casual chuckle.

Whether she was being serious or not, you found yourself answer earnestly. You mustered up as much of a smile as you could. "I'm trying, Jess."

Her expression faltered and she let out a breathy laugh as she swirled the dark liquid in her mug. Her eyes shimmered as she met your gaze once again.

"What is it going to take? I'll do anything," she said quietly.

You sighed softly as your own eyes were now drawn to the mug in your hand while you processed her plea. You cracked a wry smirk as you looked at her.

"Well, not lying to me would be a good start," you said, but quickly moved on over the apologetic expression she gave you. Some other words swirled inside your mind and maybe if you hadn't just woken up you may have kept them to yourself. Instead, you spoke.

"I just want you to myself again," you admitted quietly, surprised at the emotion that rose to the surface so readily. "I miss you so much. And I miss us."

Jessie frowned and reached forward, setting down her mug on your nightstand and grabbing yours to do the same. She grasped your hands and inched closer to you.

"I'm here," she told you emphatically. "I'm still yours. I always have been. And I always want to be." You stared at her, looking into her glistening eyes. She moved closer and squeezed your hands. "I miss you, too. More than you know. And we're still 'us' - I still want everything with you that I did before." She released a quiet sigh. "I wish you'd let me in again."

There was something about this moment. The way she looked at you, the way she was opening up - searching for you - it felt soothing and it eased the aching loneliness that had been consuming you lately. You wanted more.

You found yourself leaning forward and capturing her lips in a kiss. You noted the mild look of surprise on her face as you closed in, but any uncertainty she'd felt seemingly melted away as she returned your kiss, allowing you to deepen it and she leaned into you furthermore.

Before you knew it, you were pulling her down onto the bed and she climbed on top of you, kissing you hungrily and your hands and hers wandered over one another in a growing frenzy.

You tugged her shirt off and she readily obliged, raising herself onto her knees as she peeled it off. Your eyes took in her glorious form, something you'd seen only in passing the past couple of months. Your eyes immediately fell to the growing bulge in her pants and you felt your core throb with want. It had been so long.

When you looked back up at her face, you saw how her eyes had grown dark with lust and need. Her hands roamed across your body like she was exploring you for the first time all over again. The tips of her fingers dug into your skin when she lost control and she was quick to remove all of your clothes, her lips kissing all across your skin as she rediscovered you.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered headily as she kissed up your torso and pulled you close. "I love you so much. You're the only one for me."

Your pulse was pounding inside your head as you pulled her the rest of the way up your body and into a heated kiss. You rocked your hips against her, feeling her hot, stiff member pressing against you. You could feel yourself dripping with need and you whimpered unabashedly in desperation. She nudged at your entrance and you could hear her breath hitch as her shoulders rounded out in tension.

"I want you inside of me," you commanded.

"Oh fuck," she said in a whimper of her own as her fingers dug into your skin and her back arched above you though she didn't enter you yet.

She released a huff as she pushed hard off the mattress and slammed open her nightstand drawer with urgency, pulling out a condom, ripping the top of the wrapper off with her mouth and hurriedly rolling it onto her cock and settled herself back on top of you.

Your stomach dropped at the action as the world outside of this moment came flooding back into your consciousness. It's not that you wanted to risk anything right now, but the condom was a painful reminder of the drama that had taken over your life as of late.

A small noise escaped you as Jessie slipped inside of your heat for the first time since all of this began. She groaned low in her chest and she held herself deep inside of you for several moments, her muscles taut before she began to pull her hips back and started to establish a rhythm.

Your arms were wrapped around the back of her shoulders and while you would normally be panting and moaning in pleasure, clawing at her as she brought you pleasure like no one else had, in this moment, you stared blankly up at the ceiling as she rocked and breathed above you.

"God, you feel so good," she panted as she thrust into you and buried her face further into your neck. You closed your eyes and clung to her as you tried to drive other thoughts from your mind.

You dug your nails into her skin and screwed your eyes close even tighter.

This was Jessie. This was the woman you loved more than anything in the world. The person you'd chosen, the one who'd chosen you. The person you wanted forever with.

The pit in your stomach persisted.

The sounds of her strong thrusts in and out of you filled the room and echoed loudly in your ears. It wasn't until her steady strokes suddenly slowed and faltered before stopping altogether, that you opened your eyes again. You blinked in confusion at the interruption. She remained inside of you, but now held herself up above you on her hands as she looked down at you with a concerned frown.

"A-are you okay? We can stop if you want," she said tentatively as she searched your face.

Something possessed you as she looked down at you with uncertainty and worry in her eyes. You reached up, pulling her down into a hard kiss and flipped the two of you over so you were on top, ensuring to not let her slip out of you as you did so.

You didn't break the kiss, instead kissing her with greater fervour as you began to rock your hips. Soon you raised yourself up so her tip was stretching your entrance out and dropped back down onto her, swallowing her hard cock to the hilt and immediately meeting her previous rhythm and even increasing it some.

Her hands gripped your hips tightly, her fingers digging into your skin and her head fell back into the pillow.

"W-we don't have to do anything," she managed to say, voice hitching with effort as she tried to blink through the haze of pleasure you were creating.

"Don't you want me," you whispered sultrily as you leaned down and tugged her earlobe with your teeth as you rode her hard.

She let out a high pitched whimper in your ear. It sounded like heaven to you and spurred on this strange self-satisfied sensation in your chest.

"Of course I do," she panted helplessly as she subconsciously rocked her hips up to meet your thrusts. Her fingers curled desperately into your skin and she added breathily, "I always do."

"Tell me I'm yours," you coaxed as you bounced on her length, relishing how her hips jerked up into you while she panted and moaned beneath you.

She groaned and reached up, pulling you down against her and holding you close while she tried to takeover your thrusts.

"You're mine," she said as she ran her fingers through your hair. You lifted yourself back up a bit to regain control of the rhythm and you smirked at how her eyes fluttered shut and she groaned once more. She let out a wanting breath. "And I'm yours." You saw her jaw flex and her head fell further back. "Fuck. I belong to you."

You placed your hands on your chest and continued to ride her, newly inspired by her proclamations. You couldn't help but be aware that in any other scenario, you'd have been cumming on her cock by now. Instead, outside of this empty satisfaction that fluttered inside your chest, you didn't feel anywhere close to a climax.

Her whimpers and moans began to grow in pitch and you knew she was close. She managed to open her eyes and look to you. She seemed to recognize that you weren't close and though she tried to hold on, she stood no chance and it was only a matter of time until her moan hitched in her throat and she pushed herself up as deep into you as she could as she spilled herself into the condom.

The satisfaction you'd felt moments before quickly faded as the heat of the moment wore off and soon you sat straddling her hips, quietly watching her as she softened inside of you.

Jessie had hardly come out the other side of her orgasm, when she moved, trying to coax you onto your back and offering to go down on you.

"Baby, it's okay," you told her though you allowed her to lay you down. You held her in place as she went to move down your body. She faltered.

"I want you to feel good too," she said with gentle, pleading eyes.

"I do feel good," you insisted and she let out a wry chuckle.

"Babe...," she said, "I know it's been a while..., but I know when you didn't cum."

"So what?" You asked, your face beginning to heat up under her scrutiny - intended or not. You tried to discretely duck your head into her shoulder under the guise of cuddling in. You hugged her to you. "I just want to lay here together."

You felt the indecision in her body, stiffening as she decided whether to push further or to just let it go. She eventually relaxed and laid down next to you while gently pulling you into her arms. She kissed the top of your head and you laid a kiss on her collarbone.

You kept your head tucked in as you stared vacantly down the bed, idly aware of how your limbs were still entangled. She squeezed you and kissed your head once more as her fingers grazed along your arm in sweet affection.

Sex with Jessie had always been incredible. Passionate. Loving. Intimate. Fun. And there were glimpses of that this morning, but they were fleeting despite how hard you tried to hold onto those feelings. Instead of feeling satiated, blissful, tired and energized in all the best ways, and above all, thoroughly loved, you felt kind of...empty.

Your breathing started to quicken as uneasiness began to fester inside your chest. While you should've felt calm and peaceful in her arms, suddenly you felt restless. You fought against the feeling for as long as you could, but eventually your fingers curled in against her skin and you gave her a fleeting kiss on the shoulder as your removed yourself from her embrace. She looked to you questioningly.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," you explained with a small smile. She propped herself up on her elbows as you maneuvered off the bed.

"I'll join you," she said quickly before hesitating. "If you want."

You stood before her, feeling unnaturally exposed and wracking your mind for an excuse before you even realized it.

"Didn't you shower already this morning?" You asked innocently as you distractedly began gathering up clothes for the day.

"We haven't showered together in a long time," she countered, her tone betraying the ease of the shrug you saw her give in the mirror. She watched you wordlessly and intently for another moment before adding with a soft smile that made your heart ache. "I don't mind at all."

You closed the drawer and turned around to face her. Your heart panged further at how she looked braced for rejection.

"Sure," you said with a quiet smile. "Come on, then"

She beamed at your response and rushed out of bed to start gathering new towels. She eagerly took your clothes from you and folded them neatly, setting them on the bathroom counter. She started the shower, checking the temperature and let you know when it was warm. She gave you another sweet smile as you approached and held her hand out for you as you stepped in.

She followed you, closing the shower door behind her and gently grasped you by the waist, moving you so you were more fully under the water. While she didn't really mind getting cold, you despised it and she knew it.

Despite your mood even minutes before, you couldn't help but melt slightly under her attentiveness. She smiled and kissed you - on the lips, on your cheeks, your nose, forehead. She lathered your hair for you, soaped you up playfully and sweetly.

It felt like old times.

You began to return the favour, and - much like old times - you felt compelled to let your hands wander. She looked momentarily uncertain as you reach down between your bodies to began stroking her. Her eyes were watchful as you coaxed her member to grow firmer and longer in your skillful hand.

To rid her of any lingering doubts of your intentions, you ran your free hand through her hair and leaned in and began to tenderly kiss her neck. You felt her throat rumble with a low groan and she allowed herself to begin to buck gently into your hand.

Her arms wrapped around you, making you feel warm and safe, and a rush of emotion rose within you.

"I love you Jessie," you said against her neck as your fingers dug into her crown. You felt her body relax, like some kind of weight was relieved of her, and soon she gently pushed you against the shower wall in a deep kiss.

"I love you too," she whispered into the kiss. "So much."

The throbbing in your core grew stronger as she began to more fully grind against you and into your hand, the head of her cock gliding against your stomach with every stroke.

You pushed her back slightly, adjusting the position of her cock so it was now between your legs. She thrust forward, her length now nudging against your entrance. You leaned your head back against the shower wall and pulled her closer as you panted in renewed need for her.

She subtly rut against you, the head of her cock spreading your entrance ever so slightly more each time as she toyed with slipping inside of you.

You lifted your leg, planting your foot on the lower ledge of the shower, inviting her in. You felt her exhale lustfully. She rocked up into you a touch more, the head pushing just enough inside that your walls fully enveloped it this time, both of you gasping at the sensation.

"I'll pull out," she told you as she withdrew before immersing herself further inside of you.

You screwed your eyes together harder as you urgently tried to stall the thoughts that threatened to invade your mind at her comment.

You just wanted to be with her. Be loved by her and to not think about how your world and your relationship had fragmented. You held her closer and she responded by thrusting up into you with greater force and pace.

She whispered sweet nothings as she drove into you, your skin pressed against the cold tiles of the shower. Her words were loving and wanting, dirty and sweet, all things that made you cum on her cock countless times before. Words, sentiments and actions that always left your body quivering while her name fell from your mouth in whispers and cries.

For the second time this morning though, your mind refused to let you be in the moment. You wanted to let go and to fall apart in the safety of her arms, but you just couldn't.

Your eyes began to tear up and you were grateful for the water that cascaded down both your bodies.

You didn't want her to worry. And you didn't want to have to talk about it. You didn't want to linger on what this all meant.

So you moaned, and whimpered, and dragged your nails down her back in all the ways you used to. You let your moans hit a fever pitch, your breath hitching and shuddering, knowing she wouldn't let herself cum before you again.

True to her word, as her thrusts grew rapid and desperate, her own breath catching as her climax approached, she pulled out at the last second and pumped her fist hard and fast over her cock a couple of times before she came with a heady grunt, ropes of cum shooting up onto your torso only to be washed away just as fast by the shower.

"Holy fuck," she panted as the last drops of cum drained from her. She released her cock and braced one hand against the wall, eyes closed. You tenderly ran your hands up and down the sides of her neck and watched her quietly. She rest her forehead against yours.

"I love you so much," she breathed, eyes still closed in the haze of her orgasm.

You closed your eyes, a strange hollowness inside your chest. A beat passed before you squeezed her tightly to you.

"I love you, too."

[unperson42]

So, one of the major inspirations for Coruscant (and the first version of the city-planet in sci-fi that I'm aware of) is the planet Trantor from Isaac Asimov's Foundation novels*. In one of the later books Asimov published, Prelude to Foundation, these exact sorts of cultural enclave become a major plot point.

If you don't know the books, a major element of the story is psychohistory, which is able to predict the future with a high degree of accuracy by extrapolating how human behaviour will effect political and social events to come. This science is invented by Hari Seldon, who is dead for most of the books, but tends to show up from time to time as a hologram. In Prelude, however, we see him as a young man, still trying to develop psychohistory.

Without going into the full plot of the book, Trantor ends up being the start of psychohistory. It turns out that a planet sized city has thousands of different ethnic and cultural groups, each explicitly shown to have their own enclave. Seldon makes a study of how these enclaves interact with each other, as well as the wider government of the Empire (different Empire than Palpatine's vanity project), and then treats that as a microcosm of the galaxy as a whole.

The reason I bring all this is up is that, given how heavily influenced Coruscant is by Trantor, I think it makes sense for Coruscant to have similar enclaves, and probably in similar numbers. In fact, they may even have people making similar studies of the different enclaves' interactions in order to better understand the disparate peoples of the Republic, and help maintain unity. I specify the Republic because this feels like the kind of thing the Empire would not care about, maintaining power through fear as they do. Tarkin Doctrine and all that.

I think Star Wars is a marvelously detailed fictional universe, but even the most detailed fiction can't cover everything. Where canon does not provide information, therefore, why not build a headcanon out of the inspirations?

* I assume all this is true of the current Apple TV series as well, but I havent seen it, so don't feel I can speak to it.

Coruscant has GOT to have different places like Ryl Town or Little Shilli or Space Harlem/Space SoHo and all that. Like they’re probably massive and stuff due to the size and population density of the planet but it’s still the same concept. Pockets of certain demographics or developing cultures…

[aangelinakii]

THE TEDDY THAT NEEDS TWO PARENTS.

— not his partner, not his lover.

summary : you're sick of this situationship you're in with tim drake. it's time for a change, and you're going to get it. one way or another.

note : mention of sexual occurances ? but it's not explicitly said it's more of like an alluded to sexual stuffs,, and also mentions of food issues and also tim is toxic !!!!!!

requested !

he's standing here, paid with his own money, throwing rubber balls at tin cans to win you a stupid teddy bear — but it's the biggest one on the shelf, so you're not too upset.

it's just... isn't this what boyfriends do? you know, for the people they're dating?

and, whatever this was between you and tim drake, it's not dating.

he throws his final ball, with a single tower of three cans left; he started with three balls, three towers, and managed to knock the first two down. if he misses this, you'll pretend to be upset, but then give him a kiss anyway as a thanks for participating.

you can't watch. your hands come to shield your eyes from the loss he's about to suffer.

ding! ding! ding!

from beside you, tim cheers and the attendant behind the stand gives a laugh. "nice one, what can i get for you?"

tim's voice grows farther away as he moves off to get the teddy bear, and you reluctantly move your hands away. he's probably just joking around to make you think he did it.

but when your eyes land on the table, which once owned three towers, you find it mostly empty, save for the few tin cans toppled to their sides. he... he did it?

you turn, and tim's coming back, his smile wide and shiny, the white stuffed teddy the same size as the length of his torso. "did you see?" he grins, holding out the bear for you, its head bobbing to the side, looking like its being held up by the scarlet red ribbon tied there. "three towers down just like that."

a surprised laugh huffs past your lips, and you have to try to pretend you're not surprised — not when it comes to tim, you shouldn't be surprised anymore.

"yeah, you were just great!" you reply, taking the bear beneath the shoulders and holding it to your side. he is really cute... or she. you should name it, but the only name you can think of is tim, and you're not sure you want to remember your new teddy by him.

seeming to mimic your action with the teddy bear, tim loops his arm around your back, pulling you snug into his side as you step away from the stand, the man stacking the towers back up again behind you. "where to next?" tim asks, squeezing the fabric of your clothes beneath his palm lightly. "i'm kind of hungry after all that throwing."

this time a real laugh comes out. "throwing? you barely threw them hard enough to kill a fly if it went past."

cheeky smile on his face, tim removes his arm to sling around your shoulders. "well, i saw a burger truck that smelled really good when we passed earlier. you up for burgers?"

"as long as you're paying." despite what could've sounded self-depricating, your tone told tim you were joking. he still squeezes your shoulder regardless.

"don't worry, i've got you tonight," he smiles, peering down at you beneath crescented eyes that come with his grin. it doesn't seem his lips are budging any time soon. "everything on me. gotham doesn't always have the carnival."

see? in this light, the purples and reds and greens flashing from the ferris wheel you tread beneath, he could be a boyfriend. the words he chooses, sure to melt your heart, if only you weren't thinking the entire time about how he could be the one to mend it.

yet he seems to break it every time.

every time he leaves your place, after spending the night in your arms, or you in his; every time he walks past you like he hasn't seen you most at your vulnerable, whether it be tears streaming down your face or stripped to your under garments. every time you're together with other people and he refers to you as his friend.

just his friend.

not his partner, not his lover. nothing of the sort.

and then he has the nerve to take you on a date to the fair like a good boyfriend would?

when you come back to your senses, you're standing next in line at the burger van tim said he wanted food from. to be honest, your appetite disappeared long ago; you can't seem to stomach food in his presence.

but he squeezes your shoulder again and smiles down at you and you think you'll ask him just to get you some fries. if you're hungry later you'll eat when you're alone.

finally the group in front moves away, and tim steps up to the cook leaning out the window, where delicious fumes of oil-soaked meats and spices of condiments are floating through. "hey! can i get a large cheeseburger, everything inside, and a pepsi max?" tim orders, and then looks down at you, the light from inside the van casting shadows on his face that make him look almost soft. almost. "you craving much?"

it takes you a minute, your mind too focused on how the light can change the way your heart beats for him; if you can't see the entire face that keeps letting you down, it seems to not think anything's wrong. "just some fries, please."

"great," tim smiles, turning back to nod at the man, and he reels his arm back from over your shoulders to dig into his pocket for his wallet. "you find somewhere while i pay, okay? i'll come with the food."

no need to tell you twice.

when you detach yourself from him, your entire side is burning with the remnants of tim drake, his casual kindness, lingering smiles, such a great contrast to how he sounded on the phone the other night when you asked him to hang out; deep sighs, long pauses. it's like he's an entirely different person.

your thoughts keep you occupied long enough to see tim return, balancing a cardboard box of loaded fries, his wrapped burger and his cup of pepsi in his arms. you found a picnic bench nearby, and purposely sat your new teddy in the space beside you so tim would have to sit opposite you instead.

maybe if you looked at him hard enough you could hate him.

tim sits down before you none the wiser. he places the food down and pokes the box of fries over to your section of the wooden table. you probably won't end up touching them, and he'll eat them all, which is fair, considering it's his money.

he begins to eat his burger like he can't read the room; not like he ever had that skill with you anyway.

still, you find it hard to believe he works alongside batman, once acting as his main sidekick — and he still can never pick up on your frustration towards him.

or maybe it's that he just chooses not to.

"tim," you say firmly, causing him to look up from his burger, but continue chewing all the while. "can we talk?"

"yeah, anything," you just about make out through his mouthful of beef and cheese and bap bun.

"can you stop eating for this?"

his chew pauses, and you can tell in the couple seconds he looks at you that he's weighing up the situation. he resumes crunching down his mouthful and places the burger down on its wrapping, swallowing his food.

now his attention is on you — fully, for what feels like the first time in months — the words feel like they're about to disappear, like you're going to back out and leave this unspoken.

no, you have to.

you have him now, you have to.

"i... guess i just want to say i'm not really sure this is," you finally say.

tim doesn't make an effort to respond, or even seem like he understands what you mean.

"like..." oh, god, here come the stupid words. "what are we?"

that seems to do it.

his lips part like he wants to say something but stopped quickly, and he flinches like you're holding your fists up at him, ready to strike, but you haven't moved, and he doesn't speak.

does he even know?

"like, i know we're friends, but it feels like we're on a date right now," you further explain, feelings hot and heavy in your chest. "and it's not like you asked me to go on a date with you, you just said let's go to the carnival, but i feel like you're treating me... i don't know. like we're actually together."

a pause.

"and you always treat me like that, except for when we're with other people, then you don't. then you act like you don't want anything to do with me at all."

his eyes have flitted down to stare at his burger, almost like he's expecting it to grow arms and legs and come to his aid.

"so i guess i just want an explanation."

seeing this as the end of your rant, tim lets out a great sigh.

he brings his hands up from beneath the table, resting his elbows on the wood and steepling his fingers, where his chin rests on the tips. he won't look at you, but he's incredibly silent, so much so that the screams and laughs of fairgoers around you seems to grow louder in the absence of his voice.

the silence alone urges you to reach out for the still-untouched box of fries, and you pull it towards yourself, reaching in for a salty chip, eager to pass the time until he dare speaks.

you've stopped counting how many chips you've eaten when you can make out his voice over the round of screams as the rollercoaster zooms past.

"i'm sorry," is all he says, but you push the box of fries a smidgen away, an instinctive reaction to him. you deserve to unlearn that.

your stare is hot on him, and even in the lack of daylight you can tell he's squirming under the pressure.

"i shouldn't be dragging you along," he continues sheepishly, avoiding your eyes like his life depends on it. "i... i suppose it's just easier to be like this than to man up and actually ask you. and you've shown me you'll just... god, this is horrible."

"no, tell me," you answer almost immediately. "tell me so i can do better. i don't want to be stupid."

"you're not—" the ghost of a smile dances along his lips. "you're not stupid. it's my fault, not yours at all in this. i was being selfish, taking advantage of what i could get. and what i could get was you, i suppose."

even though he's being honest, which you want, you can't help but feel a twang in the pit of your stomach.

"you do like me, though, right?" you ask him before you can stop yourself. you sound like a child, but you can justify it by reminding yourself of all the mixed signals he's been giving you the past few months.

this is what causes that small smile to widen, show the truth of his feelings, heart to spill out all over the table. he gives a small nod, like he can't believe he's doing it, and gingerly places a hand on the table, palm facing up.

he takes a small breath, words uncertain as he speaks next. "i totally understand if you get up right now and choose to never see me again — like, i really, really get it — but... i don't know, i really like you, i think i just need to unlearn some things about myself. would you, i don't know, stay around and teach me better?"

now is the time his eyes finally meet yours, and he's leaning ever so slightly across the table towards you. should you do it?

"i know i was stringing you along, but i don't think i waited for a minute to actually think about what i was doing."

even though every pang of sadness and ache from the past five months is telling you not to, something stronger behind your ribs is telling you to take his hand.

and so you take it.

"this bear is gonna need two parents," you muster up the courage to say, a bashful smile shining through.

tim even grins — something you're not used to being because of you — and he stands up slightly to lean into you, his hand still gripping yours, but the other comes to place lightly on the side of your head. a soft peck lands on your crown, possibly the softest tim has ever been with you.

when he sits back down, his free hand finds his burger again. "can i eat yet?"

"yes, you can eat," you chuckle in response.

although it's clear he's trying to hide it behind his big bite of burger, tim's grinning, and his eyes fold into soft crescents. "so, does this mean i'm your boyfriend?"

"it fucking better, you dick."

the words are harsh but your tone is sweet, spoken alongside a smile that causes your cheeks to hurt.

[utilitycaster]

Hi! I just wanted to add to what you said about Laudna that her motivation from the beginning of the campaign did not change at all, in that she was ok and totally moved on from her trauma, and was just helping Imogen find out about her powers. I don't recall that Delilah was much of a problem outside of talking in her head sometimes, so getting Delilah out wasn't a character motivation.

There were times were it looked like her character was going somewhere when Marisha talked about Laudna being mentally stunted and Delilah's influence being akin to an addiction, and thought maybe they can address some of that in the campaign, but we had a lot of "woe is me Delilah is making me do things" which is BAD if you address the addiction allegory (still taking into account that Marisha may have misspoken during 4sD about it)

They didn't even deal with Delilah properly, she is still there and can talk with Laudna, and I don't think by the end of the campaign Laudna is in any way more capable of ignoring her as she did the first time they defeated Delilah and she was just a faint wisp, she wasn't in any way actively influencing Laudna back then until Laudna tried to bargain with her for power (i may be paraphrasing or misremembering though it's been a bit)

Saying that Laudna's character feels very fic-y is surprisingly accurate, she feels like someone who would have been sold to One Direction

Sorry for the long ask

OK first off YELLING at the being sold to One Direction but yeah, that's the thing, she feels like this passive self insert who people give things to and like without her like, doing anything other than putting her messy brown hair in a bun on the top of her head.

I think with a lot of my frustrations with various characters, there is frustration on both sides, with Matt and the cast, and Matt bears a LOT of responsibility to be clear because I think in his focus on the core plot above all it shut down player attempts to the point that even stronger players with stronger concepts kind of gave up in the end. But for Laudna, here is the throughline.

Early on she floated the idea of getting rid of Delilah when Imogen was trying to get into the Starpoint Conservatory. This was good! It was introduced as a potential longterm goal of Laudna's! It's just...that never happened. The research was always very moon focused, and when it became clear this wasn't really an academically-inclined group the research took the form of Grim Verity lore dumps, which naturally didn't allow for side research. The gnarlrock fight famously went nowhere because she and Imogen apologized right away, but then, notably, Laudna didn't do anything to get back at Delilah nor did Delilah keep doing anything. Imogen's attempts to work with Delilah failed (this feels like part of the 'No Consequences' rule; Imogen binding herself to Delilah as well or having Delilah take on more of Laudna, something Laura as Imogen actually made steps to pursue, could have been something! I mean I'm team Jiana would have been more interesting, but this could have worked!) and so then the whole probably was kind of put on ice by the Vox Machina-helmed resurrection, and Delilah faded to a nonentity that Laudna didn't have to care about. So she didn't! Until she came back, and then she sort of cared for a bit but Delilah didn't make her do anything and then she came back to Jrusar and instead of leaning into her anger she kissed Imogen and forgot all about it until they went to Whitestone 12 episodes later (still no real consequences of Delilah coming back), she reiterated a connection to Delilah back there and had some scenes with her due to the shard but again, she wasn't really inconvenienced or changed, and then there was one last flare up with the sword and then Essek fixed everything.

Like, this would have been very easy to make compelling by having Delilah actually be a threat. Part of why I don't feel much about Laudna living out her life is that like, Delilah is just sealed away again (and fwiw we gotta at some point talk about how there was a whole setpiece about how Leaving Things Sealed Just Perpetuates A Cycle and then there's at least two sealed evils and one fully unsealed if mortal evil guy hanging out, like, thematic coherence whomst?) and throughout the story Delilah mostly just serves as an intrusive thought who broke something once and hit a couple of dudes. Chetney getting caught by the red moon and attacking people felt more real and he took more responsibility for it. If Delilah had constantly been trying to take over? that would have been interesting. If she hadn't but Laudna was furious that the woman who killed her was using her body and at all times was fighting against it? that would have been interesting. But it was just this vague blurry meh. Delilah is her warlock patron and the reason she's alive, but she can be diminished to basically nothing without any drawbacks, and Laudna sometimes hates her and sometimes wishes to wield her, but that all fizzles out every time. Again: if you wished one of these things were true and mourn the character Laudna could have been - either someone using Delilah's power at the cost of her own will, or someone fighting desperately to reclaim her own body and mind - then I'm right there with you. But as she was in the story? I wish One Direction had taken her away and we'd gotten someone better.

[dellamortethelesser]

The Wigmaker Job

Notes and Thoughts - Part 2

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4

Picking back up in the next scene, Lucanis and Illario are exiting the tavern on their way to the contract. Here, they are described as "lean with dark hair and umber eyes". ← THIS MEANS THEY PURPOSELY GAVE MY POOKIE BLUE EYES TO MAKE HIM LOOK MORE EVIL.

(I also forgot to mention in the previous scene they discuss that Illario fastidiously grooms his 5 o'clock shadow so they also took THAT from us. But! Veilguard did give him a huge ass… no, I need his brown eyes back).

"Illario was all smiles. His was a calculated handsomeness. From his smooth skin to his perfect, white teeth, everything was contrived to be enticing". ← insane thing to say i think what did caterina do to influence that so strongly. like yes, lucanis is a mage-killer and that's certainly a Niche, but let's not pretend that Illario isn't filling a different sort of niche. both of them have been trained to be more valuable Alive than Dead.

"As they walked through the crowd, he basked in the appreciative glances he received," ← unsure whether this is omniscient on part of the author or intended to be directly lucanis's pov. this specific passage i've never been able to figure it out. if it's lucanis's pov though, i would wonder if that 'basking' isn't just… a front.

I have to assume this passage is somewhat omniscient because it goes on to say that "… while Lucanis stared ahead, focused and intense. He was the kind of man you couldn't look away from—until he looked at you." ← i have to assume this is all referring to Lucanis? if so? because if it is lucanis's pov why would he… idk. 'the kind of man you couldn't look away from' could still refer to illario? idk. it's a really hard passage for me to parse i feel stupid. debate in the reblogs

This whole next part of the story makes me insane because it's just further emphasizing my point that Lucanis gives absolutely no thought to Illario as an equal working with him on this contract—THAT HE ASKED ILLARIO TO BE HERE FOR. i'll try to break this down but i recommend just reading along in your own copy alsfjk

"So what's the plan? Now that Ambrose knows we're coming" / "We were never going through the front door." ← Illario is asking here, now that there's proof the Venatori know the Crows are after them, what the new plan is. he is only JUST NOW finding out that Lucanis never HAD a plan that didn't account for this? again i'm not sure how lucanis "knew" unless it's supposed to make him out to be the better assassin, but it reads as though he was purposefully keeping Illario in the dark.

hang on let me just directly quote this next part

"I bought THIS—" Illario gestured towards his tunic. "Because YOU said we were dispatching Tevinter's 'premiere' wigmaker at an exclusive party. Emphasis on exclusive." "Uh-huh." "It was a rush order. We were with the tailor for hours." "I recall." "Why let me go through the motions of purchasing formal wear for an event we're not actually attending?" "I know how much you enjoy dressing up," Lucanis goaded and ducked under a pointed archway.

But. You are attending this event. Crucially you are in fact both attending this event and do need Illario to dress the part to get YOU where YOU need to be. Why are you goading him on like this?!

You're both on the way to this contract—and Lucanis is leading him through a back entrance, btw, AND THE FACT THAT ILLARIO DOESN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT TELLS ME THAT LUCANIS DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT PART OF THE PLAN EITHER—so why are you doing this?!

Lucanis why are you fucking with him like this on purpose? THERE'S NO REAL REASON GIVEN IN HIS NARRATIVE SO I HAVE TO EXTRAPOLATE THAT THIS IS JUST NORMAL FOR THEM. WHICH ISN'T NORMAL

quick interlude to add that Lucanis's 'bleeding heart' sympathies are here from the jump; he is aware of the cultural importance of the vhenedahl, and remarks that the magisters trying to make a statue to keep their slaves in line had the opposite effect.

Again Lucanis reveals some way into the passageways they're using—that Illario didn't know about on both accounts—and is SMUG ABOUT IT. HE TOSSES ILLARIO A SMUG LOOK OVER HIS SHOULDERS.

"I wouldn't complain if you filled me in," he grumbled. "Yes, you would." "As much," Illario conceded. "I wouldn't complain as much."

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THIS LUCANIS. The dynamic between them is just consistently reinforcing the idea that wherever Lucanis goes, Illario is expected to follow, unwaveringly, unquestioningly, and to be quite honest i would be driven fucking insane.

We're only so many pages in and there is a very clear way that Lucanis treats Illario just in the context of working CONTRACTS together, and that way is… not very good! YOU INVITED HIM HERE. WHY ARE YOU KEEPING HIM IN THE DARK?

I say this like I don't understand but a lot of people have rightly pointed out that this is their 'normal'. This is learned behavior, a learned dynamic, and I do believe Caterina is partly responsible for fostering it by showing such clear favoritism to Lucanis and likely giving him behavior to model.

Which goes back to my previous question of… why? If you're not going to name an heir and want this to be a winner takes it all relationship, why show such clear favoritism?! THESE ARE YOUR LAST TWO LIVING RELATIVES, CATERINA.

Back to the book. Lucanis's elf contact greets him with "Master Dellamorte". Cool! When she looks for an introduction, though, it is Illario that butts in with "Master Dellamorte the Lesser". ← hi my love. why did you do this? well because it reinforces the same shit we've been seeing the whole time. and calls back to how he already referred to lucanis as 'the great' in their first scene together.

"My cousin," Lucanis clarified. ← no defense or correction? fine maybe not the time or place. one of the more neutral statements that Lucanis has said to him but he's damned by faint praise and the fact there is no INNER NARRATIVE QUESTIONING ILLARIO'S ANSWER MEANS THIS IS ALSO ASSUMED TO BE NORMAL.

Heading up the passage. It's magic. the room spins

"Lucanis bit back a laugh as Illario held out an arm to steady himself." ← WHY. why is this funny to you. okay now im sounding like i'm seething at lucanis which i kind of am BUT TRUST I STILL LOVE HIM

THIS DYNAMIC IS JUST INSANE TO ME. okay anyways next bit. i'm covering one more scene and then will do another post for part 3. together we can work through this story a few pages every day. I'm gonna break up this last bit in some chunks

"You've made friends." / "You would too, if you ever left Treviso." / "I'm here now, aren't I?" ← Illario was trying to be nice. Lucanis immediately takes a shot at the fact that Illario stays in Treviso (are we implying here that Illario doesn't take jobs? Doesn't work?) and Illario reminds him that HE CAME TO VYRANTIUM FOR LUCANIS. He's here for you!

"Seriously, though, what is this place?" "A perk. Given by our mysterious benefactor." Lucanis quickened his pace, hoping to leave the answer at that. Illario did not take the hint. "Speaking of, I have some questions about him… her… them?"

1) diversity win

2) AGAIN. Illario is being kept in the dark about things and Lucanis is intentionally not sharing them. WHY? We are never given a reason WHY from Lucanis. Just that he doesn't want to share anything with Illario—ostensibly about their client but ABOUT THE WHOLE CONTRACT IS WHAT THE NARRATIVE SHOWS.

"Oh, come on," Illario urged, matching Lucanis's pace. "When have we ever taken on an anonymous client?" "Since someone could put tangible stock in the phrase 'Silence is golden'." "You're not the least bit curious?" Lucanis exhaled through his nose. "If someone wants to pay me top coin to kill a bunch of racist blood mages—who have it coming—I'm not going to complain."

again we see Lucanis's sympathies coming to light. these are not bad feelings to have obviously we should hate racists. but they are assassins paid to kill and not get emotionally entangled in the job which Lucanis consistently does in this short story.

additionally. again. the way he talks to illario. i just. can it be stated enough at any point.

Quotes are either paraphrased or taken directly from The Wigmaker Job, written by Courtney Woods.

[nightingale-prompts]

The thing in the graveyard was called "The Lover" (Harlot it too mean)

Despite what the stories say he rarely appeared. Tourists and armature ghost hunters have tried to capitalize on the popularity of the trend. A sort of fandom formed for those who guessed about the appearance and origin of the supposed ghost.

Truly to only people who saw him were lonely. The lover would appear to them as a young and beautiful young man. He didn't attack and only sometimes did he try to convince you to leave with him. Other times he'd just sit with you and listen. He'd lean on your shoulder. He'd cry for you. Anything that could ease your pain.

You couldn't film the encounters and no one could describe him in detail.

Tim wanted to investigate this. He researched every story he could find of the ghost. Some stories said he was the spirit of a man abandoned by his partner and others said he was a demon that seduces mortals to drag them to hell. Tim gathered that The Lover only comes when you are alone, arrive after midnight and come on a moonless night.

Tim chose the right date and time as he entered the iron gates.

It was a desolate walk, like walking into nowhere. Until he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. They were cool to the touch. A weight pressed against his back.

"You finally came for me." A warm voice echoed in the silence.

The sounds of wings fluttered and beat in the distance.

Tim stilled. It's him.

Tim pulled away and turned to see the fabled "Lover". And he was everything described and more. He seemed to glow in the lantern light that Tim had prepared.

"What do you mean?" Tim asked.

He steeled his nerves whatever happened next he shouldn't let the ghost use him to escape. Every time so far the victim has run away.

"You are one of her knights. You must be here to free me." He said with a soft smile as he hugged Tim tightly. "I'm so glad it over. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"I don't know what you're talking about who's knight?" Tim asked unhooking his arms and feeling how solid they were and not ghostly at all.

Tim wreaked his brain to figure out if this ghost was mixing up something from hundreds of years ago. Maybe during the rule of the queen in colonial times? No, that didn't make sense either.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now. And we can leave." His smiled only faltered for a moment but it soon returned as he excitedly grabbed Tim's hand.

"Where do you plan on going?" Tim asked trying to ignore the way the boy looked at him like he was his savior.

"Home...I want to go home." He said sadly. "I don't belong here."

"You're a ghost. Shouldn't you stay here and rest?"

"I'm not dead!" He yelled pushing close to Tim "I'm alive! I swear! Can't you feel me?! I'm real!"

Suddenly Tim felt a pain of lips on his. They were cold but...soft. I'm pushed the boy away quickly.

"Stop that! What are you doing?" Tim yelled.

The ghost boy clenched his jaw as he was shoved away. His eyes were wide as he was caught off guard.

"That...usually worked. Guys usually listen when they think they will get something out of this." His voice was cold and bitter.

"So you really think I'll let you leave if you kiss me?!" Tim said incredulously.

The ghost's expression twisted in confusion.

"I don't have anything else to give. I just...want to leave. I'll do anything. No one will listen to me." Tears filled his eyes as he spoke.

The graveyard was deathly quiet again.

"Are you going to leave me here too?" A sob broke out as he spoke. "I can't last much longer. And she let you come here. So she must have forgiven me. She'll let me go if you let me out."

Tim saw the pain in the ghost's eyes and he did something stupid. He reached out and hugged him. A real hug. The kind his emotionally constipated family rarely gave. It was probably the only affection the ghost boy was given that wasn't forced or initiated by him.

Tim was still unsure if he should go through with this. He wanted answers but now only one question was on his mind.

"What's your name?"

"Danny....my name is Danny."

Kiss of Death- DCxDP prompt

A valentine horror.

Didn't matter why you were there or why you didn't run.

There was a graveyard older than Gotham itself. The names on the grave are weathered and unreadable from hundreds of years of exposure. The only reason one should come here was if you had managed to track your heritage to this gravesight after searching museum archives for burial records since the city wouldn't keep ones so old in the government building.

Unless...

You came because of the legend.

It's a new one. So it's more of an urban legend.

The story goes that the graveyard is haunted and a that anyone who comes here late at night will die. It's a simple legend, a very cliche and uncreative one at that.

But here you are. What was your goal? Ghost hunting? Graverobbing? Or perhaps your curiosity had consumed you and you had to know.

The air was thick. Like you are slowly choking on the darkness around you. Have you ever been in a room so quiet it was deafening? Like you are sure you must have lost your hearing because not even the wind would greet your ears. It was just empty space that wordlessly told you that you are alone. But that was just a room. A room that you leave and find solace in a trip of a light switch. This however was no room. It was the wide expanse of the outside world. In a place where streetlamps were not even a flicker in the minds of the residents that rest deep below your feet.

You chose a bad time to come. Perhaps you would be spared the wondering in the dark if you had the forgiving light of the moon on you. But such things were an afterthought, wasn't it? No tonight the moon was shadowed and the light of the stars would be your only salvation...but this was still Gotham. Could their light even reach you with the distant city lights over the horizon? Could the clouds mercifully move out of the way to give you some hope that you were not abandoned?

Now you were ill-prepared but you must have had some sense to at least charge your phone before you came. It's flashlight might be enough to get you back. But you're come this far. Brave or foolish you continue forward.

Until someone approached. You couldn't see them, only hear the muted footfalls of something coming near. Your ears so starved for sensation drank it like water in a dessert.

And in the light of your torch, a face appeared. A pair of baby blue eyes simmered in the light. A relieved smile on a pair of soft pale pink lips. A young man with tousled black locks appearing holding a small arm full of lilies and tulips.

"Finally, someone else. I thought I'd be here till morning." He said in relief as he came closer.

"What are you doing here?" You ask surprised that you weren't the only person here.

"I was cleaning the graves here and I must have lost track of time. Can you lead me out of here?" He asked softly and you'd hit yourself if you said no.

He clung to your arm as you walked him down the path.

The air began to get colder.

Where there was once silence you hearabout d the sound of crows beating their wings and making their wretched calls.

He clung harder to you.

That horrible curiosity got the better of you and so you began to speak.

"Why were you out here cleaning graves anyways." You asked.

"I was...helping. I come here alot." He said simply.

Nevermind the fact he was not dressed in clothes fit for cleaning. His white button-up shirt and dress pants were not something you get dirty. In fact, he didn't have a fleck of dirt on him.

"Where are your supplies?" You ask.

"I left them behind. I'll come back for them." He said curtly.

His grip on your arm tightened and it got colder.

"Just stay close please. I don't want to lose you in this darkness." He cooed.

You begin to feel lightheaded. The cold damp air made it hard to breathe.

You hear the crows...no ravens call out again.

"Never leave!" They repeated

"Trapped!" They called.

You hear a growl come from those pink lips, only they weren't pink anymore.

You look down at your companion and see a pair of bloody lips and a smile curled into a cruel but somehow sweet smile. A pair of glowing acidic green eyes that narrowed into pinpricks like a bird locking onto its prey. His once soft ebony lock now as stark white as snow caps.

You try to pull away but their grasp crushed your arm, hands like icy claws dug in.

" Where are you going?" He asked calm his eyes baring into yours.

Suddenly he did look very scary. No, he looked...so sad...so helpless and lost. His eyes where so warm and inviting.

"Don't leave me here. Help me. I promise I'll make it worth your while." His smile was so warm and inviting.

"Leave!" The ravens screeched.

"Run!" They called.

Even the screaming of the birds where drowned out as he pressed his lips to yours. It was too late. The sickly sweet scent of death and flowers filled your senses.

Why though, was his lips so cold? Why did they fill his mouth with the coppery taste of blood? Why did you feel so empty in the space you had hoped he'd fill in your heart?

But then a sharp pain struck your head and the warm trickle of blood flowed from your wound as a bird flew over your head.

You pulled away from the cloying embraces you perked in pain. And then you saw it. His face half half-rotted and skeletal. The once handsome man was a monster.

You sprinted away from him trying to frantically call someone for help on your phone. But foolish one had you forgotten. Your phone is also your flashlight and as you tried to use it you could only run blindly in the dark hoping you were still on the path. The sound of wind slicked the air behind you as you felt his icy breath on the back of your neck. You could only guess what was behind you as you heard no footsteps behind you only the feeling of being chased.

You dared not stop not even a moment and prayed that you didn't stumble. But mercy had found you as you saw the gate come into view and the solitary streetlight just beyond the boarder.

"You said you'd get me out! You can't leave me here!" A bloodcurdling screech rang out.

But you had already won as you made it out just barely with the graze of clawed fingertips at the back of your neck.

You closed the gate behind you and as you gazed into the dark abyss beyond the metal barrier you half expected it to be there. For it to snarl at you in anger watching you leave or slamming itself at the gate. But there was nothing. Not even the wind.

[joyful-soul-collector]

Get to know your mutuals!

What's the origin of your blog title? When I was in middle school, someone told me "you dress so goth, but your personality is so happy. You're like a really cheerful grim reaper. A joyful soul collector." And that's been my username for most everything ever since!

OTP(s) + Shipname: Oooh, right now it's Jayvik, and tbh I can't think of another one, this is one of the first ships I've been really really into tbh. Other dynamics focused on my blog have actually been more platonic, like Irondad

Favorite color: Red!

Favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons! Both as a player, and DM!

Song stuck in your head: The Challenge - EPIC

Weirdest habit/trait? I download thousands of still frames of tv shows that I love so I can make memes out of them. But I have to sift through and delete all the pictures that are blurry or unnecessary, which takes hours. I think it's super fun because I'm autistic and really enjoy sorting stuff lol

Hobbies: Writing, playing DnD, making memes, and hanging out with my friends!

If you work, what's your profession? Not so much a profession lol, I work at a toy store. It's a part time job while I'm in college, studying to be a radiologist!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Radiologist. But ANY job I wish? Professional DM or Professional DnD player, like the people on Dropout or Critical Role haha

Something you're good at: I'm good at writing stories! I can write them well and write things that make people feel deep emotions, and I like that.

Something you're bad at: Recognizing when someone doesn't want help haha. I tend to try and fix things or help people when they just want to vent, and it ends up frustrating for both of us.

Something you love: I love stories. Any kind, I love so so many

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My favorite shows and stories, my dnd campaigns and characters, my stories and ideas

Something you hate: Fascism. Bigotry. Willful ignorance. Fearmongering. Propaganda.

Something you collect: Dice!! I'm a dice goblin for sure haha

Something you forget: I often forget chores unfortunately

What's your love language? Physical touch and acts of service

Favorite movie/show: Ooh right now it's definitely Arcane haha

Favorite food: Sushi!

Favorite animal: Cats!

What were you like as a child? In a word? Unwell haha. I'm a good bit better now, still struggling with a lot, but better than I used to do

Favorite subject at school? English, I was always good at that class

Least favorite subject: Chemistry. I hate that shit so much lol

What's your best character trait? I think that I'm kind and willing to stand up for others

What's your worst character trait? I can be disrespectful to some types of spirituality unfortunately. It just doesn't make logical sense to me. I have two friends that are fully convinced that a cursed doll gave some youtuber testicular cancer. And I just can't see the logic or critical thought in that

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Mmm. All of fascism shit is definitely damaging my calm so I'd love to change that specifically

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Harry Allen. Google him he's a badass transgender cowboy

Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!

@sb-essebi @glitternightingale @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @captainhollowstories @kydrogendragon @misforvendetta @poetryinmotion-author @bocularteletheric @kai-ovillager @thatoneneuvichiliauthor @4amarcanethoughts @alexspearsxoxo @kotonni @buckybucananbarnes @kakesuwolf @martybaker @patheticjayce @sleepycrowhours @aixabi @up-the-bracket @snoopyviktor @emdashflower @humanshapedstress @hellsalore @juuzousmom @softandslow @fangirlshenanigans04 @batmans-attic @lvrstrsh @bluemoyai @tearexxwrites @bodyofvvater @lifeandeathepub @areesespiece @lancesblueazaleas @monaisme @milkywaysipper @carmendyy @tseecka @heazueken @tophat-69 @velocitychroma @prjctdiva @gremlinofchaos @ourvectorviktor @kenjinx @jxmimac @gh0stedvhampir @voxconcordia @arcaneheraldslawyer

ngl I tried to tag ALL my mutuals that I have, but this was how many it allowed me to do before it made me stop lol so here's as many as I could fit!

[mj-iza-writer]

Caretaker turned Whumper

Whumpee tearfully watched as the guards pulled Caretaker up from cuddling with them on the floor.

"We can cuddle more when I'm back", Caretaker promised as they were led to the door, "everything is alright."

Whumpee nodded and faked a smile.

The door closed behind Caretaker and the guards. Whumpee was alone again.

They huddled into the corner of the room still wrapped in the blanket Caretaker had comforted them with earlier.

"They promised not to hurt you as long as I did what was asked of me. I'm going to do it because I-I need to keep you safe", Caretaker had profusely promised multiple times, "as long as you are safe, t-that is all that matters. Just behave and don't get yourself into trouble while I'm away."

Whumpee was never told what Caretaker had to do to ensure their safety. They didn't dare ask either.

Whumpee jumped when the door opened.

Another guard came in with a tray of food and set it on the metal table.

"Eat."

The guard turned, and started for the door.

"Th-thankyou", Whumpee cautiously spoke.

The guard turned back to them and huffed.

Whumpee cowarded into the corner as much as they could.

The guard reached for the door after hearing Whumpee's whimpered apology.

Caretaker stood in the viewing room.

Someone was being stripped and tied to Caretaker's work bench.

Caretaker watched through the one-way mirror to make sure the setup was correct.

Whumper came in and stood next to Caretaker.

"How's Whumpee doing this afternoon?", Whumper asked curiously.

Caretaker side glanced Whumper before turning to them.

"What?", Whumper shrugged, "I can't ask how one of my prisoners is doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out if you are being serious or if this is one of your sick games", Caretaker frowned.

"I'm being serious. They looked cold yesterday, that's how they got the extra blanket", Whumper talked nonchalantly, "I asked one of the guards to warm up the room. I don't know if you noticed."

"You were in the room?", Caretaker glared, "with Whumpee?"

"Only to give them a blanket and a head pat. They are so brave", Whumper grinned, "trusting you and all."

Caretaker stepped daringly toward Whumper... fist ready to fight.

"Uh-uh", Whumper warned as they pulled out a remote, "I'd hate to ruin their lunch", Whumper pointed at a screen that had video feed of the room Whumpee and Caretaker were kept in.

Caretaker turned quickly to look, "don't", they warned.

Caretaker saw Whumper press the warning button.

"No", Whumpee's whimpers could be heard on the monitor. They quickly reached and felt the shock collar that was locked around their neck, "please, mercy. I didn't do anything", Whumpee pleaded.

"Please don't", Caretaker turned to Whumper, "I-I'm sorry."

"That's more like it", Whumper smirked, "sorry Whumpee, my finger hit the wrong button", Whumper spoke into a mic that connected to the room.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee shakingly shrunk to the floor, abandoning the tray of food they were just about to eat.

"Please tell them to eat", Caretaker pleaded.

The screen turned off, and Caretaker blinked away tears.

"What? Is the big bad Caretaker crying... for some prisoner", Whumper mocked, "is it from the guilt you feel from what you've done to them that drives you to protect them now? Is it some sort of attempt to repent?"

"No, th-they were the only one who forgave me for what I did", Caretaker admitted. They thought back to that night, "they don't see me as the monster you've made me."

A while ago, Caretaker had acted out against Whumper. As punishment, Caretaker had been locked in a full room. Everyone they had tortured for Whumper was also locked in that room with them. Caretaker had taken refuge against the wall and had buried their head into their lap to hide from the hateful but well-deserved torment they were receiving. They were as much a prisoner as everyone else was, but no one understood that. They were just as evil as Whumper.

"That dirt and blood covered hand reached for your hand", Whumper spoke out loud, "such a touching story. Whumpee sat with you all night, even though you had just tortured them earlier."

Caretaker fought back tears.

"How dangerous for yourself to have something weighing you down like that. You are really stuck. Whatever you do could impact that one", Whumper chuckled, "you've always been good at getting answers for me. That's why I let you keep Whumpee with you as a little pet. I figured that it would keep you in line. Plus, I really didn't have any plans for Whumpee. They would have probably died had you not taken them."

Caretaker frowned, "they're not a pet."

"Whatever you say", Whumper laughed, "good luck with this one by the way", Whumper looked into the interrogation room again, "they're a real piece of work. I'll feed the questions in to them like normal."

"Please let me see Whumpee one more time", Caretaker pleaded, "I'll do what I must as per our agreement. Just please."

Whumper nodded at the person in charge of the screens.

A full image of Whumpee came up again.

Caretaker sniffled.

"Whumpee, Caretaker would like you to eat your meal", Whumper talked into the mic.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee jumped at the sound Whumper's voice.

"I hit the button accidentally. You are not going to be shocked right now", Whumper smiled as Whumpee nervously nodded.

"Now go make me proud", Whumper chuckled.

Caretaker rubbing water on fresh wip markings, which caused the prisoner to writh and gasp on the table. Caretaker dug their fingers into the person's abdomen to signify it was completed.

"It seems you think you've finished?", Whumper questioned over the radio, "you finish when I say."

"Th-they answered your questions", Caretaker looked at the glass, "they can't take anymore. They'll die if we continue."

"Someone will be getting electrocuted", Whumper chuckled, "I'm done with that prisoner. They can die now. You either turn the level up to max on the probes attached to them or I'll shock Whumpee. Do you understand."

Whumper pointed at the person, who then turned on a screen in the room Caretaker was in.

"No Whumpee, please don't make me... I can't take a life... I can't do what you are asking me to do."

"Such a shame", Whumper sighed.

Whumpee grabbed the collar and screamed.

"Whumpee", Caretaker yelled, "please stop."

"This will keep happening. Do what you're told", Whumper ordered, "protect your pet."

"I-I'm sorry", Caretaker hurried to the machine.

"No, no, no", the person pleaded.

Caretaker paused before hitting the button.

Whumpee screamed, "Caretaker help!"

Caretaker to panicked and hit the button.

They shielded themself as the prisoner sparked. The screams matched Whumpee's until both quieted.

"How far did you turn that up?", Whumper laughed, "I think you roasted them."

"I-I don't know, you said turn it up. I can't think straight when someone I love is being electrocuted", Caretaker frowned, "Whumpee?"

"A little shaken up... they're fine", Whumper laughed, "good work today. Someone will be in to get you momentarily."

Caretaker cautiously walked around the table. They couldn't look at the smoking body. They only stared at the monitor.

Whumpee had collapsed on the floor and was gasping for breath.

"Please no more" Whumpee mumbled repeatedly between gasp, "please?"

Caretaker hurried into the room and dropped to the floor by Whumpee.

Whumpee whimpered when they saw Caretaker, then tears started to fall.

"I am so sorry", Caretaker pulled them close, "I wasn't fast enough, and you got hurt. I am so sorry."

Whumpee sobbed into Caretaker's chest.

"I-it hurts", Whumpee cried.

"I know, I'm sorry", Caretaker pulled them even closer and sighed, "I'm sorry for everything."

Whumpee calmed a little now that they were in Caretaker's arms.

"I'm so sorry", Caretaker whispered continually, "I'm so sorry". It was the only thing they could say.

Whumpee jumped when the door opened.

Whumper sauntered in.

Whumpee whimpered and hid their face into Caretaker's chest.

"Aw", Whumper circled them both, "if only they knew."

Caretaker glared up at Whumper.

"I'm a bad Whumpee. Please have mercy", Whumpee pleaded.

Caretaker rubbed their back, "no Whumpee. That was my fault. I-I'll...", Caretaker bit their lip, their glare deepened, "I-I'll make sure it doesn't happen again", Caretaker blinked away tears.

They were both very stuck. Caretaker had a weakness, and Whumper was going to use it. There was nothing that could be done to stop it, either. The only way to protect Whumpee was to play Whumper's game.

"I'm glad to hear that", Whumper gleefully turned to the door when they heard someone opening it, "oh look, dinner. I'll leave you both to it then."

Caretaker sighed when they watched the guard come in with two trays.

"I need you to eat Whumpee... come along", Caretaker stood and helped the shaking Whumpee up, "I'll help you eat. I'm so sorry."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@weirdthingweee @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@risk606 @electrons2006

@paperprinxe @whumprince

@kaz-of-crows @mis-graves

@decaffeinatedtimetraveler94 @sausages-things

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@jumpywhumpywriter @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @thenormalestever

@whatwhump @galatic-worm

@starmoon-constellation @bacillusinfection

[transformers-spike]

TFA Blitzwing's part for the bots into somno has been on my brain since I saw the post and its so amazingly evil of you to include him in that😭 Now time to yap about it a bit because this is making me so ill (ironically while I have a cold🥲).

Kind of similar to what the TFA Bee anon said at first, I first see Icy crawling over his human, then maybe pulling up their pajama top to place a few kisses to try and savor it as he moves their pajamas out of the way without waking them before it gets to be too much for his patience and he is practically aching to fuck them despite wanting to savor his control in the moment. Random on the other hand? Goes straight to eating out or sucking off like a maniac. Genuinelly, its a miracle if his human didn't wake up from that alone, but if they are somehow still asleep after that? Random is ready to fuck without any sort of hesitation, tongue out and everything like as if this is a normal fuck (not rlly a surprise though because Random is THE Freak, trademark and everything). Sadly, with Hothead, I don't have any somno thoughts for him😭 Like somno probably doesn't do much for him unlike with Random and Icy.

Okay yap session over, you can 100% ignore this if you want! I just wanted to get these thoughts out somewhere (and holy SHIT this ended up being longer than I thought it would be. I'm so normal about Blitzwing)

HOHOHOHO HOW I ADORE THIS Especially because Icy to me is someone who's going to savor every little twitch and noise you make All three of the personalities are cruel in their own ways, but to me Icy is the one who gets off the most on touching himself while slowly rubbing up and down your naked body. And if you wake up? It's not over yet. Watch him deny your orgasms time after time because he doesn't think you've earned it yet

[entities-of-posts]

I found a staircase when I was in middle school. Maybe 11, 12? I can't remember. I remember the staircase, though. It was shiny new and I knew it was bad news, but… I don't know.

I started going up them. Only sometimes. I'd go up a few steps and then come back down and leave. Not like they were going anywhere, and I think I might've just been hoping someone would stop me. Eventually someone did; they told me the staircase seemed dangerous, and I agreed with them.

I don't know why I'm telling you this. Exposition, I guess? Context?

I saw the stairs again. They looked different, polished wood replaced with concrete, but I recognized them immediately. This was a few days ago — maybe a few years? I'm not sure. I wasn't in a great place. But I saw them, and I decided… what the hell, right? I mean, it's just a staircase. And I never did get to see what was at the top.

There were so many steps. Sometimes it feels like there were hardly any.

I could feel my sanity slipping the higher I got. I didn't trust anyone. I didn't trust myself. I remember thinking, quite a lot, why am I still climbing this staircase? And the more I thought it, the closer I got to whatever horror was waiting for me.

Are you sure we're still going the right way? I mean, I know this one's going down now, but sometimes they loop around and — okay. You know, it's sort of nice to let someone else take the lead for once.

It was a door at the top. A big, black door. Heavy. I don't really know how to describe it, but looking at it… it was just so obvious it would swallow up everything about me, and it wouldn't matter, because once I opened it I wouldn't be able to tell anyways.

I… I wanted to open it. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? I mean — I knew what was behind it. Sort of. I could hear the incoherent screaming through the wood and — like, I knew, okay? I'm not some idiot that sees a terrifying door and thinks "oh wonders! A mysterious door! Maybe there's a tea party on the other side!" I'd just… sunk cost fallacy, right? I'd made it so far that I didn't want to turn back without knowing.

I opened the door — just a crack, a tiny amount — and I swear to you, behind it was death. Not the grim reaper, I know how this sounds, but it was just… nothingness. A true and total absence of everything. And I realized that all the screaming I'd heard must have just been an echo, seeped into the doorframe by everyone who'd ever walked through it, because past the boundary was just silence.

I closed the door. I mean, obviously, I closed the door. And I started trying to get back down the stairs, and that's when I saw you. I've just been wandering around, trying to figure out which stairs lead down. Every so often my feet just start carrying me up again? Force of habit, I suppose. It's easier now that I have someone to follow. So, thank you, for that. Not sure I'm convinced you know the way out, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.

Statement taken directly from subject, in the staircase of my Archives. They had not entered the building, and did not leave it. When I attempted to get them to come through the door to the first floor with me, they sunk into the hardwood step by step, phasing through it with no contact, still descending on stairs that were not there. Their head disappeared through the floor, and I lost sight and Sight of them.

Ever since the Incident, the dimensional instability of my Archives lends itself to such tricks. The Spiral sometimes seems convinced the building is still part of it.

[vi0lentquiche]

Bryan Fuller on The D-Con Chamber podcast

Some actual revelations here, I gotta say!

We went to a lot of actors and they all said no, and Mads said he wanted to do it. And I was like, here's a person who wants to do it, who is amazing, and they're like, he's sort of weird? He just seems very Euro-weird, shouldn't he be sexier? And I'm like, he's sexy as fuck! There's nary a sexier!

The casting process is so degrading for everybody, but I reached out to Mads and said, "Would you audition? I hate to ask you this, but I just can't get them there." And he said of course, came in and auditioned, was amazing, and they went, nah, he's sort of creepy. ??HE'S EATING PEOPLE. And finally the last person had said no and I called Jen Salke who was running it and said, "Jen, I have to write this, I have to craft this show and believe in it. I believe in him, that he can do this, I see him in the role, it's hard for me to see anybody else." And she said, "I trust you, I trust your vision, let's do it." So that was her response. Her boss's response was, "Well, you got what you wanted, you're on your own." And they halved our marketing budget. It was a little spiteful.

Jen was amazing, she kept us on the air although we didn't have great ratings, but Jen, who is now running Amazon, thought the show was great. They were paying nothing for it, the licensing fee was the smallest that they had. And the show was very cheap, our budget was 2.25 million in the first season (we turned everything dark so you couldn't see how cheap everything looked), second season was 2.5, third season was 3.2, so it was a very economic show, and our scripts were like 33 pages long. Because all that atmosphere, and also Gillian Anderson made the most fantastic unnerving choice to speak very deliberately, so you could give Gillian a page of dialogue and it was 6 minutes of screentime, and you don't want to cut away, because she grabs you and doesn't let go.

So it was economic for lots of reasons. But Jen said, "I'll keep you on the air, it doesn't cost us anything, do whatever you want. Do the show that you want to do." And NBC didn't give us a ton of notes! The Standards and Practices was one of the best relationships that I had. Joanna was our S&P executive, and I would say, "Hey, Joanna ☺️, we have to have a guy cut off his face and feed it to dogs ☺️ howwww do we do that?" and she'd say, "Just make the blood black and turn down the lights." The only thing she didn't know how we could do was, Eddie Izzard had hooked someone's intestines up to a ceiling fan while they were still alive, so when somebody came into the room and turned on the lights the ceiling would disembowel them. And she said, "I just don't know how you're gonna do this!" and production said, "We can't afford it, you get one shot and if you don't get it there's no way for us to do a reset." So she was willing to let us try the ceiling fan disembowelment, she was the coolest lady. My assistant at the time made a book of all the S&P emails, like "When you're doing this please keep in mind that the blood needs to be black," because the redder the blood the less likely that you can put it on TV. So if you darken the blood, even if it's a dark burgundy, you can get away with it. The food that looks like blood is fine, because you're gonna eat it and it looks like meat, and Jose Andres is helping you out.

Hannibal was creatively a great experience because the stakes were so low that Jen was like, "How great for me to be able to tell you to do whatever you want!" We should have been cancelled after the first season, because our ratings were so low. I think we had 3 million, and that was at a time when 3 million wasn't enough. No, we started with 5 or 6 and it got down to 3 by the end of the run. But it was great that she gave us the opportunity, and was a great executive who supported the show when her bosses didn't because we didn't cast who they wanted.

Pushing Daisies was actually more of a struggle creatively with the network, they would say it was too weird and to make it more mainstream. And they were probably right, we would probably have had more numbers, but it wouldn’t be my show. I really don't mean to be difficult with a lot of executives, but when I resist those notes it's becase I don't know how to do them, like my brain doesn't compute. I've gotten better the older I've gotten. I've also gotten more like, it's perhaps not a hill to die on? Whereas before I'd go, noo, the art must speak for itself! It's that singular understanding for something, where it comes out and you accept it for how it is. And it's probably a little bit about being raised in a Catholic environment where you're told how to be, it’s the rebellion, and it's the intrinsic queerness of choosing something that's different, or relating to something that's different and that being a guiding principle more than an edict.

[sleepymccoy]

if you wanted to convince someone who had never seen any star trek that they should watch it, which episode (from any of the shows) would you show them and why?

Okay so I'm going to beg forgiveness and give you two episodes just cos I did this with my dad and I still think it's so so interesting

First is an episode of strange new worlds. The one where captain Pike gets told he's gonna become disabled and he tries to avoid it so they play out the plot of the balance of terror with Pike in charge and because he's a bit more reluctant to go to arms against the romulans and he obeys the word of the law, causing war to break out

Then we watch the balance of terror from tos to compare

And I think anyone who likes sci-fi or film history will enjoy that, and that gets you past the why are we watching this to oh this is interesting and then they can decide themself if they liked the show enough to watch it. But you can frame it as almost educational about film in general, not just watching star trek for the sake of it

Because the snw version is so modern. It doesn't really feel it when you watch it, they try to be a bit 60s about things and exist just as sci-fi but like. The lens flares. The increase in injuries. The drama! Oh my god the interpersonal drama. And it's always noisy, if no one's talking then the music is swelling. The scenes cut fast and change constantly. It's kind of exhausting

Then you watch tos and yeah it's the same sort of plot but it's done totally differently. Jim doesn't voice every thought he has, but you can see him thinking. Injuries are minor except the death, and even then it's not gory at all. There's long long periods of silence with only radar bleeps. I saw someone online describe it as submarine warfare and it is. You feel the mystery of the unknown and the tense parallel with chess. It's amazing

I think the TOS episode is miles better. My dad grew up with star trek so he's not the example you gave, but he hadn't watched any in decades. I made him watch these two back to back with me, snw first then tos, and we talked about film and tv editing and how submarines work and the sort of statement each episode was making and which we thought was stronger for thirty minutes after. And I think that is a very good outcome for a star trek watch

Trek is just so much more esoteric and political than people expect. So if you can get someone in a frame of mind to engage on that level they may appreciate it. And if you can do it in a way that's here compare these two pieces of film in a vacuum (like, the show explains everything. There's no series plot in tos and snw drops most of its season arc for that ep) then it levels the playing ground. It's not you as the holder of star trek lore lecturing them on what political view is being stated, it's just two mates talking about the two episodes they just watched. And I think starting with the newer one is better cos it matches what people expect more, tos is quite a tone switch if you've only seen the latest Netty dramas for the last few years. But it softens you up to being able to engage in tos with an open mind

Unless you're both drunk, in which case watch The Arena

[choccy-zefirka]

Local Qunari, with no formal schooling and background in smuggling, treasure hunting and lollygagging, gets a magic awakening at age 31. Has some questions

The ink-splattered notes are written in a heavy, clumsy hand, clearly unused to holding a quill for long, if at all

SO I'M A MAGE. NOW WHAT?

THINGS TO ASK EMMRICH

The title has been underlined three times. The letters are huge and sprawling at first, but towards the last two words, they end up careening into a chicken scratch waterfall off the page's right margin. The writer has woefully miscalculated how much space everything would take.

Underneath the title, a blotchy vertical line splits the page in two columns. The left-hand side reads:

STUPID KVECHINS QUESTIONS

Magic comes from hands. Do I need special hand balms like for Taash's throat?

I get really hungry after doing spells. Is this normal? It this because magic tires you out? Do you need a diet? Different foods for different spells? Also does magic make food taste different? Maybe I'm making it all about food cos I'm dumb

Can bigger people make stronger magic? Or does it get weaker, cos the bigger you are, the smaller your brain That's what they told me

Is there a spell to lift heavy things? NOT FOR WORKOUT CHEATING! My strength is the only part of me anyone cares about. Course I train honestly! I mean things like huge boulders. Or maybe even boats? Say I grab a boat with Antaam with magic and Taash sets them on fire.

Lords had a story about a Vint mage that made a path from ice on the sea under her feet. Chased their ship for miles. Can you do that? Can I do that?

Is there a spell for breathing underwater? I am still bad at swimming

I was once running from the guards with a mage fella from the Threads. They had us cornered, one got me with a sword, but he killed them all with lightning. It sort of jumped in between the guards, thru their armor and weapons. Thru the metal. I wanted to ask... Does it hurt when you do spells? Cos of your rings and bracelets. I am kinda worried

Neve does spells like she is writing something down with her little ice stick. Bellara shoots spell arrows. You make it look like music. Did you decide on your — your style I guess? Or did it just come to you? I am sorry if my style looks awful next to yours. You are so beautiful to look at

Is there a list of smart words you need to know, to start reading about magic? I wanna try again, but I am afraid to even start. You helped me so much last time, I wish I was smarter so you'd actually wanna talk to me more

The column on the right-hand side is labelled, now with double-checked spelling:

NON-STUPID QUESTIONS.

It has been left blank — but another, more practiced writer has circled all the questions on the left in a large, elegant oval. An arrow extends from the oval, pointing right: moving all the questions from one section to the other. Inscribed underneath it in neat round curls, is a message:

Dear Rook,

It will be a privilege to share all I know!

I cannot wait to see you again have another conversation

E

[neonpaperlanterns]

Hello! Could I request another Dog Day x reader smut?

Just like the last request it’s mainly bodily worship this time dog day is doing it, payment for last time. And because the reader had a long day at work. Upon worshiping though a new discovery about the readers affections is revealed alongside dog days…leads to steamy action.

Again romantic language/love confessions (loved how you did it last time), both nobs to the whole process, dogday being unintentional hot to the reader, and the reader makes dog day more horny then it first seems. (He admits it after the deed is done). Also these two try to be quiet…both aren’t especially dog day.

Bonus: Kissy Missy and Poppy act as if they didn’t hear anything yet they definitely knew what happened! Excellent job on the last request btw!

[A/n: MINORS DO NOT ENTER, 18+ I'm sorry this took so long and also I've never written smut before. This is probably terrible but I hope you enjoy it either way. Also Thank you, I'm glad you like my writing.]

[All of you]

Can I?

DogDay could hear as the shower turned on. The pipes groaning to life as you washed away the day. He was trying not to listen but he could focus on nothing else. The bed creaked underneath his weight as he fidgeted. Unable to stay still as he waited for you.

He wrung his hands together as his foot tapped against the plush carpet. You never took overly long showers but today he sort of wished you would. DogDay needed more time to prepare himself. 

He didn’t understand how you just did things. How you could just adapt and roll with whatever came your way. It was a stark contrast to him and how he sat here jittery, wishing he had just a little more time.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The sound of your voice made him jump. Fumbling to turn around he ended up slipping half off the bed. His arms outstretched as he fisted the comforter.

“You okay DD?” A smile was spreading across your face as you toweled off your hair. He nodded a bit dumbly as he worried the fabric between his fingers. Words caught in his throat as he watched you. There was still a subtle tension in your shoulders and he wanted to help you but his mouth felt full of cotton.

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Your mouth was set in a small pout as you eyed him. Dropping your hair towel you climbed onto the bed, gaze soft yet suspicious.

“Because if something is wrong you shoul-” DogDay cut you off by grabbing your ankle and dragging you closer. A small oomph sound left you as your back bounced against the mattress. Fixing his gaze down he rubbed circles into your skin, he couldn’t bring himself to look up at you.

Not yet anyways.

“Nothin’s wrong.” He tried to sound casual but he was anything but.

“Then what’s up?” You inquired, your patience was never ending. Swallowing around the lump in his throat he tentatively peeked up at you. DogDay could feel heat crawling up his chest as he swallowed again, his throat suddenly very dry.

“I was…” He trailed off, averting his gaze once more. “Would it be okay if I….” He let his hand slowly rise up to run along the underside of your calf. “I wanna do for you what you did for me.” He spoke barely above a whisper.

“Oh!” Your voice was pitched a bit higher as what sounded like a nervous laugh left you. 

“Would that be okay?” Alright it’s out there, he did it. He heard you suck in a breath as your other foot bounced against the bed.

“Are you sure?” A low laugh left him at your question. Shouldn’t he be the one asking that?

“Yes I’m sure.” He thinks this is the first time he was reassuring you. Looking up at you he watches your face as he carefully places a chaste kiss to the top of your foot. Your skin is still warm from the shower as he tentatively moves his mouth upward. He can feel the muscles in your legs tense as he passes over your knee. 

“Are you doing okay?” He asks against the inside of your thigh and you respond with a thin yes. Your cheeks are colored a dark crimson as he moves to the other leg. Feeling a bit emboldened by your flustered expression he plants a kiss on the juncture of your hip. An airy gasp leaves you as your back arches off of the bed. 

DogDay stalls, mouth hovering above the band of your sleep shorts. There is silence for a moment as he flicks he gaze up towards you. Something hot slithers down his spine as he eyes meet yours. Your pupils are dilated as you gesture for him to continue. Your shirt bunches up as he traces along the dip in your waist. He can feel little tremors running along your back as he moves his hands to knead at the skin of your thighs. 

“You’re so soft. You know that.” He mutters against your ribs. He can feel as your hand comes up, nimble fingers run along the back of his neck. It makes him shiver as he turns, placing a kiss on your forearm. DogDay can hear how hard your heart is beating as he nuzzles along your chest. He knew you made his heart beat this hard, he had no idea he did the same. 

“I love you.” It came out breathy as he mouthed along your exposed shoulder. “So much. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Squeezing the back of your thighs had your back arching into his chest, the originally loose grip you had on him tightening. 

“Kiss?” You asked so sweetly as your head reached up, lips slightly pursed and DogDay would never dream to refuse you. Leaning down he slotted his mouth against yours. A low sigh left you as you seemed to just melt into him. It made something hot pool in his stomach and he couldn’t help but hold you tighter against him.

Hands fumbled along warm skin, pushing and pulling at fabric exposing more to inexperienced trembling fingers. Adoration and arousal swirled in his mind as you met his every caress with one of your own. He wanted to keep going, the way you moved against him made it hard to think of anything else yet he needed to know if this was actually okay.

“Is this alright?” DogDay pulled away as he brushed along the now naked dip of your hip. “Do you want to sleep with me? Because I really want to sleep with you but only if you want to.” Doubt crept along the edges of his mind but was immediately swept away in the wake of your smile, it was a gentle thing overflowing with love as you propped yourself up.

“Yes.” You pecked him on the nose as you wiggled out from under him. “You have no idea how much I want this. How much I want you.” Your confession had him reeling and his mouth going dry as you slipped out of your clothes. 

This was happening. 

This was really happening.

Feeling bolder than he really was, DogDay grabbed for you. Hands wrapped around your thighs as you met in the middle. Lips collided as he rolled his hips against yours. It sent a shudder running along his spine and he pressed closer, needing to feel as much of you as possible. Your hands pawed at him, gently but insistently as he did his best to work you open. He was shaking so bad he thought he was going to mess up but the pleased mewls that were falling from your kiss swollen lips were helping to alleviate his nerves. 

“DogDay~” You moaned out his name and he couldn’t take this anymore. Propping himself up he fumbled as he lined himself up with your entrance. Breathing heavily he made eye contact with your heavily lidded gaze. A cheeky lazy grin spread across your face as you wiggled your hips at him. 

“You have no idea what you do to me.” And before you could respond DogDay thrust his hips forward. You moaned in unison as he slowly sunk into your heat.

“You’re so warm inside.” He panted. “And soft. How are you so soft everywhere?” He groaned, pushing a miniscule amount further into you. Your mouth opened as if you were going to say something but he wasn’t done yet, he had so much more he wanted to say. Angling his hips he thrust forward, he wasn’t entirely sure what he did but it had you throwing your head back and a beautifully loud moan escaping you.

“God Angel I love you so much.” He dug his thumbs into your hips. “You’re so wonderful and perfect.” Your arms reached up, lips pursing again as you silently asked for a kiss. 

“Not yet Angel.” you let out a whine and it almost broke him. “I know, I know. I’m sorry but ah~” DogDay gasped as you locked your legs around his waist, forcing him deeper. 

“Please?” You pet along his shoulders and really he couldn’t say no to you. DogDay would never get tired of kissing you. He never wanted to come up for air, he wanted to stay like this forever. “Harder, please~” you push your hips up to meet his thrusts. “I promise I won't break.” You say between kisses and it had him groaned. Moving his hands he shoves one under your shoulders as he plants the other beside your head.

He would do anything you wanted. 

Your nails bite into his skin as they drag down his back and you’re chanting his name like a prayer, telling him how much you love him, how good he is making you feel. It has his hips stuttering and his rhythm becoming sloppy. Your walls flutter around him as he grinds down. You nip at his ear and he grits his teeth, trying and failing not to finish. But his climax washed over him in shuddering waves, his hips didn't stop though. He can’t, not until you feel as good as he does. 

Shivers rack down his back as he feels overly sensitive but he doesn’t stop until he feels you clamp down around him. Your body goes tense as you pull him down, moaning into his mouth as you reach your peak. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

In the morning after you have untangled yourself, you drag him into the shower. It’s a tight squeeze, the space not made for him but you insist on having him here. On gently gliding the washcloth over him and mumbling sweet nothings against the now clean fur. It makes heat pool in his stomach again and he reaches for you, intent on returning the affection but there is a knocking at the door. 

It’s Poppy, her and Kissy are hungry and while DogDay is tempted to pretend he didn’t hear them because you are pressed so tight and warm against him, he knows he can’t. 

When you both emerge from the bathroom he notes that both of the girls are not, not looking at either of you. You don’t seem to notice their not looks and go about making breakfast. Humming something you heard on the radio as you whisk the eggs together and that’s when Poppy leans over, giving him a pat on the leg and a thumbs up. Embarrassment burns hot across his face as he sinks down into the chair. He should have let them go hungry.

[cantfightmoonlight]

"More like I was desperate to try to find a silver a good in a really fucked up situation?" She admitted quietly after a prolonged breath. "When they had been appalled at what had happened to me, they made me feel seen and maybe a little validated," She let out a small sigh as she pivoted from where she was sitting to face her cousin. "When I came back, I really did think it would all be okay, you know? Like if I just found you and Luna then everything would go back to the way it should be. It might not have been the plan, but we could pivot? I could adjust. I could be adjustable. I know I never really had a good track record of that in the past, but we'd figure it out. Only, Luna never really cared about me like that. I was just a chapter in her book. A mistake she had no problem moving on from and this place, filled with people I thought would be my friends and neighbors, were kind of awful. I never had people outwardly hate me before or be mean, which I know makes me sound privileged as fuck and I probably was. But, whenever everyone seemed to just expect me to get over it, move on and figure out all this vampire stuff all on my own, Lo and Dilan had been the ones who said hey, it's okay to take a moment for yourself. Grieve or something? So, that's what's this was supposed to be is all. Less fun as much as making space I suppose? As cliché as that sounds now that everyone is doing it for the lyrics of Defying Gravity. But, it was supposed to be something. You know, if they hadn't forgotten about it and all," Her shoulders lifted and fell into a small shrug.

She didn't say anything when he told her that she deserved a lot. She had a feeling whatever she could say wouldn't exactly be the best contribution. Not when the idea of hope, a mentality she once had clung so strongly to, felt almost toxic now. "They do. But, it's okay. I'm sort of used to it now," She admitted with another small shrug. "Jonah, it's okay," Her brow eyes met his as she gave him a genuine and reassuring smile. "Jake started his speech with 'I’d tell you it starts with F' and there might not have been a 'U'- his speech was actually kind of nice despite it sort of sounding like some political advisor's stance on civility. But, I'm pretty sure I'm still one of his least favorite people in this room. Aaliyah told me when I first turned to eat oranges to stop me from burning in the sun and I was nearly fried to a crisp, so I'm sure that will come up at some point too. My own best friend, last year on my birthday, told me she was scared of me, when I lost empathy. Ken's told me to my face that just because I'm friends with Leyla doesn't mean that he has to be mine, and the list goes on and on. The people here don't like me and it's okay." She didn't particularly like herself either, so at least they had something in common. The corner of her lips itched up into a hint of a smile, however deprecating, at the thought.

"You didn't make me cry, Jonah. I cried because I realized that another year has gone by. Another birthday and, despite being back for three years, I still can't shake this feeling that I should have stayed dead. I'm not trying to freak you out by admitting that, by the way. It's just my life seemed better before. I was better before. At least I liked me better and the majority of people I knew seemed to too for that matter. And that's not to say that I don't have good things going. I love Ben, so much so, and I would have never had the chance to fall in love with him if I hadn't come back. But, I also wish I came back as a human and not this." Not as some freak of nature. It was ironic really, how as a human she used to see vampires as beautiful. She had been in complete and utter awe of them, only to realize, that she might have been one of the few people who had genuinely felt that way after turning. "I cried because three birthdays have gone by and not much has changed for me. I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing. My body still seems to be rejecting what I've become and, even if it wasn't, it's not like I have a lot of guidance when it comes to figuring it out. People are still calling me a monster, a bitch and a whole other slew of names. And, while Dilan and you came to check on me, no one defended me. Not when I was called an 'entitled asshole'. That's not me criticizing you either, I hope you know, even though I know you might take it as another way you messed up, when its not. I didn't ask you to come to my defense and I probably was being an entitled asshole. But, I cried because I was upset with my life and, in part, myself. While, I'm hiding because this was about the place I could find to have a moment to do what this whole party was supposed to be about to begin with- grieve the death of the girl I lost and get over myself," She shrugged once more.

"So," She reached out and gave his hand another small squeeze. "Don't feel bad, okay? Or feel like you can't participate in White Elephant anymore. It was never about a silly game to begin with."

.

That, her not contesting or declining the offer to drink without a glass, gave away a lot into how Bri was feeling, and all it did was make Jonah slump lower into the seat. "You were thinking it could be fun. There's no way to predict the mess before that would led to this day not meeting your expectations. They did have the right idea, to close that chapter and celebrate your life, you should be celebrated, now and always, have a good birthday for once. You deserve a lot. People don't hate you Bri, there's a lot of love here for you tonight and always," he said softly. But he couldn't help the heavy feeling that sat on his chest, to know that he couldn't help make this different for her, that he lacked something or failed at expressing he cared for her, and perhaps in a way he did fail her. In a lot of way even. He certainly couldn't make anything better no matter how hard he tried to do so.

"I'll take that as a good thing. That's something I'm doing right tonight. Drinking. Maybe it'll help me to not be so…me." He laughed and took another long swig. While her tone indicated to that being sincere, he found it a little difficult to believe, given she was hiding was a prime indicator. But he nodded all the same, "Yeah, okay. We can stay here, I don't want to leave." Her question made him scoff, "What didn't I mess up?" he answered, "I know I made you cry, there's that. I think-" he said with a nod, solidifying it within himself as he spoke, "- I think I'm not gonna participate in White Elephant anymore. Does a resolution count if you make it before the new year? Whatever. I'm not doing it again. It's not worth to see you upset."

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol