#I'm sorry to bring negativity here but I feel like a bit of an imposter sometimes in this fandom as someone who actually didn't like-

[cassmouse]

To this day I don't understand how Ghostbusters Frozen Empire had the budget to hire all of these absolutely incredible actors, a surprisingly excellent cinematographer, a SFX team that's second to none, AND a phenomenal composer (HE WROTE THE 2005 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE SOUNDTRACK FOR FUCK'S SAKE)- and yet STILL couldn't manage to hire even semi-decent writers (this also applies to Ghostbusters Afterlife actually)

(whoever came up with the Phoebe/Melody plot goated tho)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I feel like a failure. A huge failure. A waste of space. All I see is people doing better than me, being recognised and loved, and here I am, a weird nobody noone wants... I'm not unique in that experience, I am not the centre of the universe, I know... I just feel so isolated and invisible and worthless it hurts... And I have tried. I am trying. It just never seems to matter to anyone at all... eg. if I left the fandom, if I deleted my fics, noone would miss them, or me... or even notice...

Hi Nonny *hugs*

Before I begin, I need to tell you that I love you, and you are not a failure, nor a waste of space, and you will be missed. I know this because that’s how I feel about you, even if I don’t know you, or if we haven’t talked before. There’s only one of you in this world, and I’d say that makes you pretty darned unique! I can’t find another one of you anywhere! <3

Secondly, my standard disclaimer: I’m not a professional, so take my following words with a grain of salt. I am simply a shoulder to cry on who offers personal stories to help soothe souls, so I hope my words bring you a bit of comfort.

So, I can relate SO MUCH with this ask. I feel like I try and try and I can’t get ahead, and I feel like I’m unliked and unloved in my real life since I can’t seem to make friends or meet an s/o, and in turn it leaves me with a sense of frustration, self-loathing, and loneliness. It’s a very heavy feeling, one that grows worse if you have S.A.D. / reverse S.A.D. or self esteem issues and it makes you think that you’re not good enough for literally anything. I’m here to tell you that sometimes our inner demons are louder than we can sometimes bear (depression cw under link), and at that point, you may need to consider professional advice (suicidal ideation / depression cw/tw under link). Have a talk with your family physician if you think you may need therapy, or if a life itself is feeling like a burden to you.

Another thought I had while reading your ask is that you might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome (which is something I did a panel on at 221b Con last year), and it’s very common amongst creative-types. Essentially, it’s the feeling that you describe almost exactly in your ask:

Impostor syndrome […] is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. [x]

It’s also used to describe when you do stuff and you think that you’re never going to achieve your perceived goal, which constantly changes based on what you’re doing (essentially, you keep moving your personal goalpost so much that you never reach a satisfying end). In our panel we talked about how we can overcome such creative pitfalls as this, and if I recall correctly we discussed amongst ourselves that we need to learn to NOT have these perceived goals, and to accept the praise and support our family and friends offer to us. A year and many advice asks later, I’m also going to add to it that you need to not necessarily get rid of your goals, but learn to celebrate the small achievements. Doing this helps rid the negative thought cycle that we creatives tend to get ourselves into. It’s not a quick solution, but if you have the patience to let yourself try this instead, eventually you can come to a point where you’re happy to do your creative work for yourself, and to see small things (ie. you posted a new story!! THAT’S AMAZING!!!) as a success!

As for your creative work, let me tell you these two things that took far too long for me to accept and understand: 1) work is more enjoyable if you do it for yourself and not expect to get anything out of it, and 2) even with that in mind, every single thing any of us posts, either here or on Ao3, you will have at least ONE kudos or like or positive comment or hit count. In turn, that one person will miss you if you stop writing or drawing. 

Many people are too shy to interact with authors, bloggers, and artists, and instead lurk and admire from afar. As a creative myself (and as one of my followers who recently contacted me after a long while of lurking can attest to), when that ONE person finally is brave enough to express their gratitude for your work, it’s humbling and overwhelming to know someone would miss me if I left the platform. And really, Lovely, it SUCKS that we creatives don’t often get the comments that our souls feed on, but KNOW with certainty that at least ONE person out there loves your stuff and your work. Honestly, like, it’s sort of how I came to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never “make it” with my art here and in real life. When I shook off the stress of doing it for others and just enjoying the craft because I like doing it, even when I only get a few likes on something now, it makes me feel good knowing at least ONE person likes my stuff. It took a long time to get to that point, but really, it makes the imposter syndrome a bit easier for me to cope with.

THAT ALL SAID, Nonny, I know I probably didn’t really help you out much here, given this entire ask is mostly all just personal anecdotes, but I’m very VERY serious Nonny when I say that I LOVE YOU, and I APPRECIATE YOU and what you have contributed to the fandom. Smaller, lesser known creatives don’t hear that enough, and I’m here to tell you that 1 bajillion times:

for every time you feel like you aren’t “worth anything”: bollocks! I think you’re worth the moon and stars!

for every time you have a negative thought in your head, know that I am here for you to offer you my hugs and love and help you banish them!

for every time you’re lonely, I am here for you to talk to!

and, for every time when you want some help promoting your work, when you’re ready, please do NOT hesitate to submit it to me, and I will promote it as much as you need me to, because I support our smaller, lesser-known creators!

I’m sorry that I can’t really do more for you, Lovely. My heart has hurt for you the entire time I wrote this, so I really hope that you’ll at least reach out to either me, or if I intimidate you for some reason (I found out a couple days ago I intimidate people LOL! <3), there’s hundreds of other smaller blogs who would love to help you feel better. Please take care of yourself Nonny, and please, I need to stress again, that if what you’re feeling is an ongoing constant thing, if you feel like the world is better off without you (it’s not!!), to please seek a professional, who can at least help you talk through your feelings.

I love you Nonny <3 Please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’m slow as molasses answering people, but I get there eventually <3

If anyone has some stuff to add to this, or if I erred in some way, please feel free to comment! <3

[dxmedstudent]

What is your impression/impression of your colleagues towards physician associates, particularly American PAs that come to work in the UK? I'm currently exploring options as my husband can transfer to the UK for his work. We've both always wanted to live abroad for a time. However, as I look more deeply into the interwebs, I get the feeling that PAs, particularly American, aren't well received. Thoughts?

Hello! Long time no see. Sorry for the late reply. I actually went back to forums and had a re-read after getting this ask because I wanted to present the arguments (whether wrong or right) that I saw. I hope it helps, though I want you to remember that not everyone feels this way; people who don’t have any strong feelings just don’t bother debating things like this online. In real life, I’ve heard very little negativity about PAs from other doctors. I think most feel pretty neutral about the whole thing. But I don’t want to sweep things under the carpet. Personally, I’ve only ever worked with doctors’ assistants (more limited duties, mostly helping out with odd jobs, bloods etc, no clerking) but I have no problem with the idea of PAs, as long as their role is clearly defined so that everyone gets what they need. One of my good friends from biomed went to PA school after graduating, and I think she’s having great fun. So I want to approach this with the attitude that PAs are our people, too.  I’ll be honest, the topic of PAs seems to still be pretty be divisive amongst the medical community, from what I’ve seen on the big junior doctor forums. I’d say that there are people who are very pro-PAs, and others who are less enthusiastic. Though the reasons why are complex.

I don’t think the reception is anything to do with people being American, in the sense that i’ve never seen PAs’  nationalities be described as an issue. Despite occasional jibes, Americans are generally well liked here, and I’ve never overheard negative comments about a colleague’s Americanness. Is that a word? Feels like it should be. I’m actually sure US PAs might even be assumed to recevie a more comprehensive one than our own, if only because our own PA profession is very recent; we didn’t have PAs at all when I was younger. US-based training tends to be well-respected, as far as I know. The reasons for tensions between doctors and PAs here are many. First of all, PAs are a very recent invention. They have only been around for several years in the NHS. As such, we have a system that was built without their role, meaning that in order to have PAs at all, we need to make sure to carve out a role that does justice to what PAs can do, without taking away important opportunities from senior nurses/nurse prescribers/ANPs and junior doctors.This means that a lot of hospitals structure the role very differently, hence what a PA at one hospital does might not be the same as what a PA at another hospital does. This means if anyone wants to be a PA in the UK, it’s worth really shopping around, if you can, to see if you can get the most support and best role for you. I’d be really careful to make sure that the role made it clear what support is available for decisionmaking. PAs should have oversight from at least a registrar, ideally. I’ll come back to this later, but if anyone is making clinical decisions, it’s important that they are supported appropriately; I’m against giving nurses or paramedics or PAs or pharmacists prescribing privileges, just enough responsibiltiy to get them into trouble, but not giving people the right support for if they aren’t sure what to do. As a doc, having senior support is a big part of my job, and I think any one of my clinical colleagues deserves this, particularly if the government are trying to save money by getting them to do more doctors’ jobs so they don’t have to hire as many docs. And where PAs have in theory to get more junior docs to sign off on their decisions, lots of juniors aren’t comfortble with that idea. Because you generally have to be a bit more experienced before you can take repsonsibiltiy for others and their work. An FY1 or FY2 ‘supervising’ a PA wouldn’t be appropriate for either. And deep down msot of us docs feel that bringing in more ANPs, bringing in PAs, allowing pharmacists and paramedics and nurses to prescribe, a lot of it isn’t ultimately created with the interests of the clinician in mind. Ultimately the government does everything it does to save itself money, and given what they put junior doctors through in recent years, we are very, very bitter and wary with ANY government scheme. A lot of people worry  that bringing in PAs is just a way of the government trying to provide people to do doctor jobs on the cheap, without supporting them or training them up properly. And given that they’ve structured nurse training in such a way that trusts try to get by with as few senior nurses as possible, because it’s cheaper to have lots of HCAs and lower band nurses, I think all NHS workers have reason to be wary.   I’m going to spend most of this post outlining some of the issues that people have brought up in various threads, which aren’t necessarily issues I myself share, but I feel I have to discuss why some people are still adjusting to PAs cropping up. Not all doctors like the way having PAs works in practice, at least where they have worked. Some people grouse about the pay, because some of the PA slots advertised give a higher salary than you get for the frist several years of being a junior doctor, whilst most of them don’t do nights or oncalls, and have to take less clinical responsibility.  On the surface, it doesn’t seem fair; why should someone working better hours, and taking less legal responsibility be paid more? But I don’t believe in bringing everything down to the lowest common denominator; if anything, it should be an argument for better pay for nurses, doctors, physios, pharmacists etc.  In reality, I suspect they have made a few posts that pay unusually well to entice senior nurses to train up as PAs, and sort of get the ball rolling. The numbers are much smaller than the number of docs and nurses, so they can afford to pay more. Also, my colleagues have a point that that’s a PA’s final salary and that the job role is more limited, whereas junior docs (in our system, at least), get to train up to do different things, and eventually earn more.  Some act like PAs get a bad deal, others are envious; I think both jobs can be good if you’re the right person for that job. I’m sure it’s a better role for some people. Now, a small part of me can see why my colleagues are concerned. When you’re stressing about fulfilling the things you NEED for training, because otherwise your deanery and seniors will totally make out that you’re an inadequate doctor, it puts a lot of pressure on you to get your procedures and cases signed off.  I’ll be honest; medical training as a doctor once you graduate in the UK is minimal; we do our own exams. We have to arrange our own attendance at clinics (which is compulsory), we have to make sure we can get to compulsory teaching. We have to make our own opportunities to do the procedures we need to do to get signed off, see the cases we need, etc. We need to mke our own opportunities for audits, publications, etc. Apart from the occasional nice senior, literally nobody helps you to get all the things you absolutely need to do done. And that’s on top of the usual ward rounds, saving lives, dealing with pts and relatives thing, whilst often being extremely busy and understaffed. And rotating around every few months, so that nobody in the hospitals you work at Junior doctors are genuinely exhausted, overworked, and scrabbling around to get the opportunities they need to get by. Some of my colleagues report working in hospitals where because the PAs were permanent (not rotating) staff, they were given preference for audits, projects, research, procedures, surgery etc to the point where junior doctors felt sidelined and unable to get the training they need. Where they felt that rather than PAs taking on some of the “jobs everyone doesn’t like doing”  on top of clerking, they were given preference for the things both they and docs like doing, but also that docs NEED to do. And I’ve been in situations where I’m tired, struggling to get what I nee to do done, and I can see where they are coming from; I remember having an unpleasant evening, and wondering they were giving a GP trainee a chance to do a lumbar puncture when they’ll never need to do one in their line of work, when there are trainees in the dept that will need to do these procedures independently soon, but never get the opportunity. Of course, I reined in my childish brain, but the reason I felt that way wasn’t really because of my lovely colleague, but because of my stress at the lack of opportunities I got, which the system dictated I needed, but didn’t help me with. I’d never begrudged or been jealous of a colleague before so it was a low moment for me. But I’m sharing it because even generally nice people can feel jealous or let down if the system pits people against each other. And in scenarios like that, it’s not the fault of PAs at all; it should be up to hospitals planning their rota to ensure not only that staffing is well covered, but that trainee docs get enough opportunity to do what they need to do. And that PAs aren’t screwed over. I think blaming other employees is wrong, when the real culprit is a system that pits people against each other or doesn’t give people what they need to get things done. Now, there’s also a bit of rivalry between PA students and med students, more so than grads. Some PA students seem to go into it with the attitude that “It’ll be just like being a doctor, but you graduate faster”, and med students being med students, some of them will treat other clinicians with smug, unearned superiority. I have no time for either of these imposters, personally. Med students who think they are better than everyone don’t make good doctors until they get taken down a peg or two. We’re part of a team, and we can’t do what we do without nurses, physios, pharmacists etc, even PAs if they are part of our team. And people choosing beteeen the two courses shouldn’t think, wrongly that PA school is just the easy way into medicine, or “basically makes me a doctor”, because it’s dangerous to assume a level of competence or practice you don’t have. And because if you don’t understand the role you’re getting into, you may well be disappointed if it doesn’t meet your expectation. I think med students and PA students like this let both sides down, but I hope that real life will knock them into shape. The good news is that a lot of my colleagues on the group report that they’ve worked in places where having PAs worked really well. I think a lot of people would love having more people on the team to help. I’m certainly not against PAs if they are well supported. I think it has a lot of potential, and I’d like to see hospitals develop it properly. Where there were enough opportunities for both, and where PAs . I saw a lot of people say wonderful things about PAs, and defend them when things on the thread got more negative. I have hope for what our PA colleagues will do, I just think we’re still going through a transitional period with its own teething problems. We work well with nurse prescribers, with ANPs and with pharmacist prescribers; I believe we can work well with PAs. I just hope that trusts and the govt will do well by both docs and PAs, and that the relationship we eventually build will be fair to both sides. I suggest doing your research to see the kinds of jobs beingoffered, because they might not be as varied as they are in the US; some places definitely seem to offer jobs for PAs that are mainly paperwork, minor jobs with some phlebotomy, whereas other trusts have scope for clerking or more varied practice. And I would want to make sure that there’s an appropriate level of senior support for decisionmaking.

[everythingthemoontouches]

Hii so here goes

I'm sorry for sending you on a bit of a wild goose chase 😂🤭

You have this incredible light energy that made me feel super bubbly and happy 🕯️💖I legit laughed out loud when I read your fact.like, yep, me too🎠🎪🛺

⚡🍇♐Do you have any major Sagittarius placements? It's this super playful vibe, the kind where people want to laugh and have a good time with you.

Your card happens to be the Sewer Mermaid. This tells me you're likely throwing away Gold in the Gutter 😬 #sorrynotsorry

It sounds like quite a silly thing to do. Except it nots really. You've been misled to believe that there is something shameful, dirty or inherently worthless about your skillset/sexuality . Or you could have grown up without being appreciated much for your looks? There's this energy of thinking that somehow your looks are not good enough.

I have determined that is a lie!!!

This could be either in the way you look, how you dress / carry yourself, the way in which you express love or how you go about achieving the big O. You could have grown up in a family situation where you were taught that romance and sexual relations are something to be ashamed of. Sex is something that just married couples engage in? Or that sex for recreation is something to be looked down upon. If you're a woman you could have been shamed or had your dressing sense policed.

The Sewer Mermaid steps in to say, look here, love, Idk who has been feeding crap and their own guilt onto your head, you need to stop wasting your youth? / age not enjoying your own sexuality. Flirt, laugh, dance, show off your physique if you like. Beauty + raw sensuality is a gift and if the gods have been kind enough to bless you with these it would be an insult not to revel in them. In not saying go out and have a string if casual meaningless sexcapades but there's nothing wrong in having a little fun.

I felt like light was an offering whole doing your reading. So perhaps there's some wounds or some ideas that you would like to bring out of the storage cupboard and into the light. Don't hide away. You're beautiful.

Release any shame around your femininity. It's okay to be soft. I'd suggest looking up femininity blogs. 💖

When we speak to ourself in negative ways, and we begin to feel we are not good enough. The results of this can be that we begin to create negative experiences, blockages, difficulties because we believe that's all we deserve. It's the law of attraction. Thoughts have consequences. we push people away rather than attract light souls. You could be hiding in fear that what people will see will not be good enough. Something like imposter syndrome? But this mermaid of hidden spaces swims out to show you that your dark thoughts have told you lies about your beauty :

This is the energy we want you to lean into.

You are your own self, and all that you are is perfect, whole and complete.

She knows that you're gonna try to crack a self deprecating joke. She is patient enough to stick by your side, to help you shed all that negative baggage and will cheer you on, as you grow to believe what she has known all along -

No matter what, You are a beautiful being, healthy, attractive, and one who deserves love, respect and affection.

Personally, I've always held that disrespect has to be earned. Not the other way round.

The bare minimum isn't enough. You deserve the world. You are worthy. Do you see how she gleams golden in the light? If she were shrouded in the dark, one could easily mistake the emerald gold scales for moss.make no mistakes. You're irridiscent. Gleaming golden in the light.

So how do you get better at believing in yourself?

First off, stop watching shows, reading books, catching nsuming sad media. I've had this as a coping mechanism, reading 300,000+ dark fanfic and crying.i thought I was avoiding my own heartache by doing so. But when I stopped reading and actively, planning out what I'm gonna do the next day. Telling myself I would succeed. Or atleast make incremental progress, I noticed a slight change. On waking up, I'd have this quietly optimistic + curious voice of excitement. A bit of let's see what the day brings.

So speak kind, encouraging words to yourself. Before bed, when u wake up, and once after lunch ( to go with dessert)

Take a shower.

Sit by a window

get some sun.

Eat a fruit

spend some time in front of the mirror. Blow yourself a kiss. Gaze into your eyes and tell your reflection you love her.

Don't worry about looking silly. Repeat to yourself : 'I care about you'

I know stargirl the practical witch has some beauty videos where she talks about standing naked in front of a mirror and just kinda running your hands over yourself. Saying positive affirmations. It won't change your body but it will inspire you to workout, eat healthier. When you're fit, you will better. That's just how exercise works

I feel compelled to remind you : We are all unique expressions of the Divine-and that truth most certainly applies to YOU. Let us not be ashamed anymore. Let us celebrate who we are, and learn to love the differences, and be greatful, for all that we have, are, and will be 😊💖⚡

Release the stink of negative conditioning. Rise and shine, my love, cuz you're a treat for sore eyes. You just have to believe in it.

Wear something pink. Paint your nails. Spritz on perfume.

🌹💙Rose Quartz is a beautiful crystal for encouraging self love.

I wish you all the very best 💖

Homework:

If this fits, Tell me 2 things you could change today?

Hi! Can i do the oracle game too ?

A fact about me is that i love to travel!

Wish you a great day :)

OK, but first tell me what your user name means please 😋😂