#I'm sorry this is long and I kinda used it as an excuse to dump-

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

:3

No real question or anything to say other than how are you cherry?

Aw thank you Sky 🥺 I'm very sorry I haven't been very talkative and it seems like I'm ignoring you. It isn't fair to you and I shouldn't leave you without an explanation.

Short answer I'm not doing as good as I wish- but I think I'll get better eventually! Just right now it's kinda rough.

I've just been super stressed and exhausted with work and figuring out all my college stuff- and for some reason my burn out and struggling on hyperfixations isn't helping a lot. 😅 I guess I feel just really lost and disorganized I don't feel I can function like a person. I'm sorry to you and many others if I seem distant and disinterested- that's quite the opposite I love all of you and I'm lucky that I have so many of you who want to reach and and talk to me. And I can't thank you enough for being so kind and patient with me. 🩷

[gyubakeries]

Hi! Can you write a story about Junhui? He & the reader met accidentally like in a bar, Jun is kinda hiding to have some time off then it escalated to smut, kinda rough & passionate at the same time. Thanks!

𝗼𝗳𝗳-𝗱𝘂𝘁𝘆 | w.jh

a/n: hi anon! thanks for requesting!! my mind went on its own trip after reading the request, so i hope this is what you had in mind! this took way too long to answer 😭 i hope it's turned out well!

word count: 4.1k contents: NSFW content , junhui x afab!reader , idol!junhui , alcohol consumption , explicit sexual content , reader gets insecure for a sec , jun helps with that , hopeful ending , nsfw warnings below the cut!

nsfw warnings: mdni! 18+ , rough sex , protected sex , fingering (f. receiving) , using spit as lube , slight mentions of choking

it was your best friend, yerim's birthday, and to celebrate, you and your group of girls found yourselves at a bar, dancing and downing shots like there was no tomorrow.

it was an experience you desperately needed. after recently having been dumped by your shitty ex because he needed 'more in the bedroom', he left you feeling insecure about yourself.

your group of girls had been enraged upon hearing this, and they didn't let you mope around over him for a bit. so here you were, wearing your tiniest dress and filling your bloodstream up with liquid courage, waiting to find the right man for the night.

so far, your prospects weren't promising.

whatever confidence had been built up over the course of the night was slowly ebbing away, and you were a little disappointed. not wanting to ruin the mood of the other girls, you quietly excused yourself to the bathroom.

just as you are pushing yourself through the crowds of people gathered in the club, you find yourself tripping on someone's outstretched leg, and great, now you're going to fall right on your face and-

the fall never comes.

instead, a pair of arms wrap around your waist, pulling you up against a sturdy chest.

"i'm so sorry! i didn't see you walking, and you tripped on my leg. are you okay?" your saviour asks you, but the bass-boosted edm makes it hard to hear anything.

"can we go somewhere quiet? i can't hear you well!" you yell loudly, and the stranger guides you towards the back of the club. the loud music fades away as you finally face the stranger who saved you.

and god damn.

his eyes held a piercing gaze that made you feel weirdly exposed, even though you were fully clothed. his features were sharp and defined, and you were certain you could cut yourself on his jawline. it was that sharp.

"um," you mumble, taken aback by how beautiful this stranger was. "i'm y/n."

"i'm junhui," the stranger replies, and the name sounds familiar, but you can't quite place it. "again, i'm really sorry about the-"

"it's alright," you wave his apology off. "no harm, no foul." you chuckle, and the beautiful man lets out an equally beautiful laugh.

before you could take the conversation further, junhui's phone starts ringing. he shoots you an apologetic glance and steps away to take the call. he doesn't stray away too far, so you can clearly hear him talking to someone named jeonghan on the phone.

wait. jeonghan?

"sorry, my friend called," junhui says, making you snap back to reality.

"you’re the junhui? from seventeen?" you almost shriek, and junhui's eyes go wide.

he hurriedly places a hand over your mouth to shut you up, pushing you up against the wall in the process.

"don't scream that loudly, please," he whispers, and from being this close to him, you can see a hint of tiredness in his eyes. "no one knows i'm here, and no one can find out."

you nod, promising to stay silent, so he removes his hand, but never moves away from you. instead, the distance between you two seems to grow even shorter.

"are you running away or something?" you ask jokingly.

"i just needed a break," junhui sighs. "the company wouldn't let any of us near a bar without supervision, so i snuck out. are you a fan?"

"ah, i'm actually not," you reply awkwardly. "i've heard about you all a lot, but i don't really listen to music in general. my friend is crazy about seventeen though. she even carries a mingyu photocard around, hoping to bump into him someday."

junhui seems a bit more relaxed at your confession. "that's actually refreshing. usually we bump into fans any time we're outside the dorms, so meeting someone who doesn't know us is a good change."

"it must be tiring," you say, wondering how idols have the capacity to be on their best behavior at all times in case they run into fans. "anyways, i'm taking up your break time, so i'll leave you to it."

"wait!" junhui says, holding onto your wrist to stop you from leaving. "i mean, you can totally say no, but i want to get to know you more. we could, uh, get out of here and go somewhere more private? i don't mean it in, like, a sexual way or anything. not unless you want it."

you can't help but blush at how blunt he is with his offer. you're intrigued by junhui, and not just because of his job. he looks like an interesting person to get to know, and you wouldn't mind spending some time with him, especially not if its sex.

"i'll take you up on your offer then," you smile. "why don't you wait outside and get a cab, and i'll let my friends know i'm leaving?"

"okay," junhui agrees easily. and in one swift movement, he leans in to peck your cheek. the moment is over in the blink of an eye, and all you can see is his face turning red as he all but runs towards the exit of the bar.

you giggle to yourself as you make your way to your friends. in favor of respecting junhui's privacy, you just let them know that you're heading home early. after a few hugs, (and two shots that your friend forced you to take) you're stumbling out of the bar, slightly tipsy.

the crisp winter air greets you, instantly making you shiver. you regret wearing such a short dress that barely covers anything, but soon enough, a jacket is being draped over your shoulders, blanketing you in warmth.

"you should've brought something warm," junhui tsks, his arm still wrapped around your shoulders, so you nuzzle into his embrace. he's wearing a mask that covers his face, but you can't help yourself from admiring how beautiful his eyes look, the soft glow of streetlights reflecting off them.

after giving your address to the driver, the cab journey is spent in exchanging small talk. junhui encourages you to talk about your work, and you ask about his life back in china. talking to him felt light-hearted and comfortable, but the air in the cab was charged with sexual tension.

you couldn't keep your gaze off his droopy, sensual eyes, or the way his deep voice reverberated in your chest, causing arousal to stir in your gut.

he was just as affected by your presence. his eyes kept glancing down at the way your dress had ridden up, exposing more of your thigh, and the sweet, intoxicating scent of your perfume had him hooked.

it wasn't a surprise when junhui crowded you against the door of your apartment the second you entered, claiming your lips in a slow, passionate kiss.

his hands grab at your waist, and you weave your fingers in his soft, black hair, pulling slightly. a groan escapes him at your action, and he pulls away from the kiss, panting as he stares into your eyes.

"do that again."

you comply, tugging a bit harder on his hair as he covers your neck in angry, red marks, biting and sucking on the exposed skin. you gasp at the feeling of his teeth grazing against the skin of your collarbones next, adding more marks to the ones he'd already left before.

"jun- jun," you gasp. "bedroom, please."

"alright, pretty," he agrees easily, pulling away from you. "lead the way."

he intertwines his hand with yours, and you giggle at the warmth the simple gesture brings to you. tugging on his hand slightly, you lead him to your bedroom, thanking every divine force for making you clean your room before you left for the night.

the bed is perfectly made, and you had even lit up a tiramisu-scented candle before leaving for the party, the lingering scent filling up your room.

you look at junhui observing all the details of your room, his eyebrows raised as he nodded at the decor. "what, does it not suit your taste, mr. famous celebrity?" you tease, your hands going up to the back of your dress to unzip the zipper holding it up.

junhui's eyes flit towards you, and he smiles. "on the contrary, your room looks much more fit to be a celebrity's bedroom. mine is terribly messy and boring," he then moves closer to you, spinning you around and taking your hands off your zipper. "let me help you?"

you nod to give him permission, so with gentle hands, he quickly unzips your dress, placing kisses on your spine as more skin is revealed. soon, the fabric is slipping off your shoulders and you shrug the dress off.

you move away from junhui, crawling onto the bed and laying down right in the middle, propping yourself up against your pillows. "your turn," you prompt him, and he reacts quickly, untucking his shirt and pulling it off, taking his shoes and socks off, undoing his belt and stepping out of the slacks he'd been wearing. he joins you on the bed only in his underwear, slotting himself between your spread legs and hovering over you.

and then, a sudden wave of insecurity courses through you. it was unusual, because you've never felt so doubtful of your performance in bed. as if on cue, your ex boyfriend's words echo in your head.

"she was too boring in bed, i couldn't put up with that for long."

almost as if a switch has been flipped inside you, you shy away from junhui's intense gaze, wrapping your arms around yourself to hide your body from him.

"hey, what's wrong?" junhui asks, immediately picking up on your discomfort. he moves up to kneel between your legs, instead of hovering above you. "we can stop, if you want."

"i- it's stupid," you groan, your ears feeling warm because of the embarrassment you felt. "i'm sorry, i probably just ruined the mood."

"not at all," he immediately counters, his eyes softening as he looks at you with care. "is everything okay?"

you exhale loudly. for some reason, junhui's presence made it so easy for you to open up to him about whatever's been weighing you down after you broke up with your ex boyfriend.

"it's my ex," you explain. "he left me because he said i was never enough in bed, and he got bored. i guess i'm feeling a little shitty about myself because of it."

junhui's eyebrows furrow at your words. you expect him to get a little weirded out and awkwardly back out from sleeping with you, but to your surprise, he touches your arms gently. "can i see you, please?"

the soft tone of his voice soothes you, and you nod, moving your arms away. he leans down to press soft kisses to your upper body, muttering words between every kiss.

"you're gorgeous, y/n," he says, his eyes locked on yours. the heat that had been building up in your core is rekindled as his kisses become less soft and more sharp. "i'm sure your ex has no idea what he's missing out on. if it's okay with you, i'd like to prove it to you that you're much better than whatever he said about you."

with that, his tongue flicks your nipple over the lacy fabric of your bra, and you gasp sharply, arching up into his touch. "yes, please," you nod too eagerly, your earlier worries forgotten.

smirking against your skin, junhui unclasps your bra, his mouth latching onto one breast as he kneads the other with his hand. you bring up your hands to thread your fingers through his hair, keeping him pressed into your chest, the stimulation too good to be taken away.

when he moves his mouth to your other breast, one hand trails lower, slipping past the waistband of your panties. his fingers quickly reach your pussy, rubbing the folds with a sort of impatience.

"shit, you're so wet and i haven't even done anything," he taunts you, all while spreading your folds apart and pressing them together, creating a soft, squelching sound.

"please, need it in me," you whine, hips rolling up to get some friction on your clit, or his fingers inside you.

"i'll give it to you," junhui promises, sounding a bit too solemn for someone who's about to finger you, but you don't really care. "can i ask one thing before i go ahead though?"

his movements halt for a moment, and you realize that his question requires a clear answer from you, so you gesture for him to continue.

"do you mind if i'm a bit rough?" he asks, a little timid. "nothing too crazy, and if you want it to be slow, then i'm okay with that too! i just wanted to make sure we're on the same page."

you blush heavily at his question, but you appreciate it nonetheless. "yeah, rough works for me," you agree. "just don't be mean, please? everything else is okay."

his eyes light up with your permission. "how do you feel about choking?"

the next question has you, ironically, choking on air. you've never really given it a thought, which led you to think that maybe it was your ex who was boring in bed.

"i think i'd like it," you answer shyly, and junhui swoops in for a kiss, hands gripping your waist tightly.

"perfect," he breathes out, pressing his lips against yours again. "let me know if it gets too much, okay? i'll prep you now."

you hum a sound of consent against his lips, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in closer.

junhui all but rips your panties off, flinging them off in some random direction behind him. (it landed on your poor stuffed teddy bear's head.) he pulls away from the kiss, shifting his attention to your pussy, lips parted and eyes blown wide as he takes in the sight of your glistening folds and twitching hole.

"if i didn't have early morning schedules, i would have loved to eat you out," junhui remarks, humming as he licks up your arousal from his fingers.

"if it's in the cards, you can do it next time," you suggest, your voice airy. "can we focus on the present moment and the lack of prep work you said you'd be doing?"

"damn, princess, you know i'll give it to you," junhui chuckles. "don't get so impatient. i promised you a good time."

"then show me."

your words seemed to be like a trigger for junhui, judging from the way he immediately thrusts one finger into your hole, and you let out a long, drawn-out whine. it's been a while since you've touched yourself, and even longer since the last time you had sex, so every touch feels sensitive to you.

smiling smugly at your reaction, junhui thrusts the finger into you slowly, waiting for you to relax before he adds another finger, scissoring you open.

"shit, your fingers fill me up s'good," you moan, loving the way junhui's slender fingers reached places you couldn't on your own. at the praise, junhui's fingers curl up inside you, brushing against your g-spot and you cry out.

"more! there, please," you whine, clenching around his fingers. "god, you're so tight around my fingers," junhui groans, taking up the sight of your cunt swallowing up two of his fingers. "can't imagine how warm you'd feel around my cock."

"want it in me, please junnie," the endearment slips off your tongue. even though it was mindless on your end, it somehow fuels junhui further, the thrust of his fingers getting faster as he mercilessly rubs your g-spot.

"'m ready, jun," you mumble, trying to string together coherent words. "take me, i need it."

taking pity on your dishevelled state, junhui takes his fingers out of you abruptly, making you whine at the loss of it. "where are the condoms, beautiful?"

"top drawer, to the left," you instruct, and junhui leans over to your bedside table to get the condoms from your drawer. "they're the perfect size, did you know i was gonna come over?" he jokes, taking out a condom and tearing the foil wrapper open.

"my ex used the same ones," you admit. "never got around to replacing them."

something flares up in junhui at your admission. he hasn't known you for long, and certainly has no idea of who your ex was, but he suddenly feels determined to make the sex even better for you.

"well, i hope you know that i'm going to fuck you better than he ever could," he huffs, trying his best not to let his irrational jealousy show. with that, he pulls his boxers down, his cock slapping against his stomach as the fabric is removed.

your mouth waters at the sight of him, and any thoughts about your ex have left your mind a long time ago. you had no doubt that junhui could treat you much better than he did. eager to get a closer look, you prop yourself up on your elbows, taking the condom from him.

"let me do it," you gaze up at him. you wrap a hand around his length, almost moaning at how heavy and hot it felt in your palm. you stroke it a few times, the slide too dry to be pleasurable, but you come up with a quick fix. you roll the condom down his length, and then spit into your palm, stroking him again to cover his cock in the wetness.

junhui groans from above you, loving the way your hand looks, wrapped around his cock, your deep red manicure contrasting against the dark skin.

"fuck, you're handsy, hm?" he pants, trying to stay composed. "how about we get to the actual fucking now?"

"yes, please," you all but beg, laying against the pillows again, legs automatically spreading open to let junhui settle between them again. junhui grabs the base of his cock, positioning the tip at your entrance, pressing against it lightly.

"just push it in already- oh," you feel the breath getting knocked out of your lungs as junhui fills you up in one rough thrust, his length buried to the hilt inside you.

"i'll take care of you, princess," junhui assures you. "sit back and enjoy the ride."

he pulls out till only his tip is inside you, and then thrusts back in quickly, punching a surprised moan out of you. your hands wrap around his shoulders as his thrusts get hard and rough, his pace relentless. you're completely fucked out, your brain devoid of any thoughts, only junhui's name falling past your lips.

meanwhile, junhui feels like he's losing his mind. your tight, wet heat engulfing him has his hips rocking into you faster, his climax building up gradually.

you gasp at the shift in the angle when junhui throws your legs over his shoulders, his cock somehow reaching deeper inside of you. at that moment, you realize that he'd also promised you something else.

eyeing his free hand, which was just holding your hip as he fucked into you, you grab it by the wrist, pulling his hand up to your throat, looking up at him expectantly.

"you're gonna be the death of me, y/n," junhui growls, his fingers wrapping themselves around your throat, applying the slightest bit of pressure and cutting off your airflow.

the sensation is almost magical. you can't breathe, and even though the thought should be scary, you can only feel yourself getting more aroused, clenching around junhui even tighter.

tears gather in your eyes as he chokes you a bit harder, his thrusts getting faster in pace too. your orgasm is building up quickly, and you bring your hand to your clit, rubbing it harshly in tandem to his thrusts.

"so close," you wheeze, trying your best to speak while getting choked. "harder, junnie, c'mon."

junhui rams into you at an almost animalistic pace, the bed creaking under the strength of his efforts to give you your best orgasm. "i'm close too, princess. let me feel you come on my cock, please."

your eyes roll to the back of your head as junhui takes his hand away from your throat in favor of twisting your nipple as he keeps up his relentless pace, making you scream out loud.

"shit, i'm coming!" you all but scream. your body goes rigid for a moment as your orgasm crashes down upon you. your chest heaves with the intensity of the orgasm, and the overstimulation from junhui's thrusts makes you whine loudly.

"'m close too, princess, hang on," junhui grunts. his release isn't too far away, not with the way your hole keeps squeezing his cock, as if it never wants him to leave. he comes a while later, filling up the condom as his hips finally stop moving.

for a few minutes, only the sounds of your loud breathing can be heard in your bedroom.

"that was amazing," you pant, curling closer to junhui, who was now laying beside you.

"you were amazing," junhui replies, with that easy charm of his that makes you blush. "let's get you cleaned up, hm?"

with a bit of reluctancy from your end to leave the bed, junhui drags you to your bathroom. you both quickly shower together, and he gently washes your hair too. then, while you did your skincare, junhui found some fresh bedsheets to change the stained ones.

once you're both dried off, you give junhui one of your older brother's t-shirts and shorts, an old ratty band t-shirt that you had stolen from him years ago, and basketball shorts he had left at your apartment when he last visited you.

junhui wastes no time in getting into bed, and you follow soon after. this part feels awkward, even after having shared an intimate moment with junhui.

"what's on your mind?" junhui asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. you notice how he's left a respectful distance between you both on the bed, and your heart aches a little.

"it's a shame that this was a one-time thing," you smile sadly.

"it doesn't have to be," junhui frowns. "i did say i would eat you out some day."

you laugh at his words. you wish it was that easy, but reality was a bit more harsh.

"correct me if i'm wrong, but your career doesn't allow a lot of room for all this, right?" you ask, breaking your gaze away from him.

junhui reaches out to hold your chin, tilting your head up so that you look at him. "idols date around a lot, nowadays," he explains. "we'd just have to be careful with where we're meeting, but otherwise it's alright. a few of my own bandmates have girlfriends, and it's going well."

"i know, but i don't do casual sex, junhui," you sigh. "after my last breakup, especially, i haven't been doing well, as you saw. i'm incapable of just casually sleeping around without catching feelings, which doesn't always end well for me."

"hey, look i know it's too soon, but i don't think i want you just for casual sex," junhui says. "i'll be frank with you, there will be times where i may be too busy to even call you, and we'd have to text a lot more often, but that doesn't mean i don't want to try."

"it might be silly, but i felt drawn to you before you tripped over my shoe at the bar. i was just too shy to come up to you. but when i got the opportunity to talk to you, to come back to your place, it felt kinda like fate, y'know?"

you do know. even though junhui was someone you'd met a few hours ago, you already felt a connection with him, past all the physical intimacy. and you knew that he was being genuine too, you could see it in his eyes.

"i know," you nod, smiling softly at him. "i guess, we could go on a few dates and figure things out? whenever you're free of course," you add on, and junhui is practically beaming with how bright his smile is.

"i'd love that," he grins. "now, can we cuddle? i wasn't too sure if i could ask you that earlier."

"yeah, we can," you giggle, scooting closer to the warmth junhui emanated. his arms wrap around you easily, like it's natural, and you have a feeling that you made the right decision by giving him a chance.

"i'm glad we talked about this," junhui whispers some time later, the both of you drowsy with sleep. "now i really can take you up on that offer of eating you out."

"jun!"

"what? i'm being honest!"

"just go to sleep, don't you have an early morning schedule."

"and you say you're not a fan. you sure you didn't plan for this to happen?"

"do you want me to start rethinking my decision?"

"no, ma'am. goodnight, y/n."

"goodnight, junhui."

- fin.

taglist: @min-imum @sousydive

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[sserajeans]

you are in love | 24. match made in ocean

- gyuthegoofy started a video call.

- ynthesexy, hanthebitch, and wonythemvp joined the call.

audio directory: wonyoung, leehan, gyuvin, y/n

—

"so what are we supposed to be looking at here?"

"the fundraiser proposal.... again."

"someone needs to hold me back before i commit a REAL HEINOUS CRIME against that hagrat excuse of a principal."

"i'm so glad you said that over call instead of text 'cause..."

"shut up."

"wait guys focus please..."

"right sorry."

"i'm using all the brain juice i got i swear but this is so hard."

"right? i have no idea how serenades didnt pass..."

"as much as i'd hate singing around with y/n it was a good idea as a fundraiser. low cost."

"matches the school tradition too. i don't know why so many people confess around christmas time, but it could've worked!"

"for real. hagrat lim."

"you're going down with y/n."

"absolutely not! how could the ever-so-lovely scholar kim gyuvin be disrespectful to his teachers! meanwhile school jock swim captain lee y/n..."

"I'M NOT EVEN A JOCK?"

"we're definitely getting off topic."

"oops..."

"anyways..."

"i think we should definitely stick to something on the romance side. it just sells more?"

"yeah, we can make it a little general for people who wanna do it for friends or family too."

"okay so... romance... romantics... what's something you guys would like to receive?"

"flowers without pollen."

"i laughed a bit i'm sorry."

"jellies!"

"candy could be low-cost, but won't the students feel like they could just buy them from the grocery or the cafeteria?"

"flowers could work. it's quite tiresome to pass by florist shops these days, so having them close by is convenient. sorry, y/n."

"i mean... i guess i'll be fine if i take the medicine before leaving?"

"i'm sorry y/n... we'll keep this as a backup idea so we can continue looking for something better and less... life threatening?"

"it's okay guys i don't mind it as long as principal lim gets off our back."

"we'll think of something else y/n... this'll just be the absolute last resort."

"speaking of flowers and y/n's pollen allergy though..."

"i know where this is going."

"I'M SORRY OKAY.... we just, or i, just wanna know!"

"didn't i tell you already??"

"details, y/n... details!!"

"I ALMOST DIED GYU..."

"LMAO PLEASE..."

"okay so you almost died... DETAILS!!"

"fine..."

"stay strong lee y/n..."

"we went to the cafe after practice, we talked about stuff. started with classes and how she's adjusting to the workload of juniors, then how i'm going around with colleges as an athlete. speaking of which, coach gave me a semi-scolding over text earlier today, but moving on."

"god he dumps the pressure of the swim team's success on you as if he isn't the literal COACH."

"for real like y/n is human too... hello?"

"yeah, then when we got to the cafe we had a mini argument over who was gonna pay but the cashier suggested to pay for our own, so that's what we did."

"you're so... anti-romantic."

"what? what did i do??"

"you're supposed to pay for her regardless, like never back down."

"NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?"

"NEVER GIVE UP!!"

"but it was a date that dani asked for, so? kinda cancels out right, wony?"

"hm... i guess.. anyways, continue, y/n."

"well... yeah after i updated wony via text when i was in the toilet, we mostly talked about our interests and stuff. so me and movies, music, and mostly swim."

"90% swim. you might've bored her to death..."

"don't say that!"

"i'm being honest! she might've thought you were a fish in your past life or something..."

"she brought up swim in the conversation first actually! she said she swims a lot whenever she goes back home to australia during the summers."

"well isn't that a lovely surprise? match made in heaven!"

"match made in ocean.."

"she definitely knows how to keep y/n hooked that's for sure."

"oh yeah... great pair in that sense!"

"what were the other interests she talked about?"

"flowers, plants, nature in general! she's so outdoorsy."

"this is so ironic 'cause didn't you almost fail biology?"

"so that's where the park part came from..."

"no i did not almost fail bio... it just simply is my lowest scoring subject okay..."

"whatever you say!"

"but yeah that's when she brought up the park, and i just couldn't say no. she was talking about how this specific flower only bloomed in autumn and she wanted to see it at its first day."

"you didn't bother telling her you had an allergy?"

"she sounded so excited you guys i didn't want to ruin that... and i guess i kinda wanted to see the flowers too, they were really pretty! i'll show you pics."

"you couldn't say no to flowers... so you just put your life at risk instead?"

"i had a mask! and i didn't think it'd react that bad again."

"right."

"so yeah that's all that happened, really."

"sounds like you had a fun enough time to almost kill yourself!"

"OH MAN....."

"YES I DID! okay? i did have a fun time! she's really nice, cute, pretty, outgoing and all. we talked about going to a different nature park to rent bikes next time."

"i'm kicking my feet in the air right now you guys have no idea."

"we do actually."

"and don't bother showing us."

"yeah we can go a day without seeing your feet gyu."

"I DIDN'T EVEN OFFER?"

"you'd do it whether we liked it or not, unfortunately."

"she's right on that... AND DID YOU SAY NEXT TIME?"

"SHE DID!!"

"weren't we supposed to be finishing work so we could be free tomorrow? right we were! isn't that right, wony?"

"but... but that's... fine, yeah."

"wonderful! let's get back to work then!"

masterlist. next.

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[princess-of-the-corner]

enji todoroki has always struck me as a guy whose father was super ridiculously orphan beating kitten drowning levels abusive and he was like 'as long as i dont do that then i cant possibly be doing child abuse' which is. Incorrect.

yeah nah yeah nah yeah! it's

Okay so like. Canon. Canon gives us VERY little on Enji's parents other than his father's death and how that effected him. Though yes the effect does imply that he loved his father.

But I do think the 'I'm not a fucking monster so clearly I'm not awful?". Both in general because he'd have basic knowledge of abuse existing, but also he's seen Hell through his job.

In Road to Hell, the way I wrote his father is that Enji is very much repeating the cycle of abuse because he doesn't realize the things that happened were 'wrong', and is very much exactly like his father.

like like like

I'm going on a tangent because I really like the OCs I made for Enji's parents and I'm using the excuse to info dump on the dynamic sorry hold on

So! Enji's Parents!

I did give them names in Road to Hell. Rin and Homura. I have little tidbits about them that I love. High school sweethearts. They wanted multiple kids. Homura planned to start a bakery. Rin's Quirk is a mutation I've talked about before, giving him horns and a tail, while Homura's was to be able to heat things up(not full fire but temperature change). So on and so forth.

Things went sideways because Homura died due to complications when Enji was born.

Rin was now a single father. Only his own income and a newborn to take care of. So he blew through his savings to be able to take care of Enji himself the first few years.

But this resulted in kinda. Making Enji grow up a little too fast in some ways. By the time he was about five or six, Enji was already able to do things like walk himself home from school and make dinner. Rin was always working to earn back what he'd lost, so there were a lot of 'daddy calls to say he picked up an extra shift' days, where Enji would have dinner alone and go to bed.

Rin was also physically abusive in a... .I don't want to say 'subtle' way. But he wasn't just some asshole smacking the kid around for no reason. Enji had to do something 'bad', and punishment was physical harm. While Enji was a pretty good kid, he was still a kid. He'd break a rule here and there. Sometimes small like 'don't eat on the couch you eat at the table', or sometimes bigger like skipping school to see a movie. Rin very much loved him and would also be kind to him otherwise.

at the same time, Rin was very much traumatized by the whole 'his wife died' thing. Which was unintentionally used to guilt trip Enji. "She died so you could live, so you'd better be something great".

Ofc Rin also dies when Enji is in middle school. Which gives its own trauma.

all of this is stuff I have Enji repeating with his own kids.

When Rei's in the hospital, he doesn't see anything 'weird' about Fuyumi stepping up and taking on Rei's housewife duties and making dinner for the family and other such things. He was far younger when he had to do the same after all.

While Enji might not see the need to get physical over smaller rule breaking that timeout or grounding can deal with, bigger things will 'deserve' physicality.

and yeah the obvious: taking his own traumas and projecting it on his kid(s) hoping that their existence will make everything worth it/fix everything.

There's other factors too. Like Enji not seeing much issue with Toya and Fuyumi being left to watch over Natsuo and Shoto because he was often babysitting the neighbor kids or keeping an eye on the various foster siblings that rotated through.

Speaking of we can swing to the whole 'there are people who are way fucking worse' thing.

Because yeah the handful of temporary foster siblings that rolled through were the first tangible experience of the more horrific abuse. Not just 'physical harm as punishment'(which is still abuse but gets seen differently). But he knew kids whose parents would get drunk and kick the shit out of them and cause far more damage than just a bruise. Parents who didn't at least provide food for the kid to make themselves dinner even if they could cook. Not to mention worse horrors like sexual abuse!

Then there's things that Enji would see on the job. It might not be often, but he does run across horrific family situations. For example, everything with Hawks.

You also have a different example of abuse with Rei. Her parents weren't physically abusive, but they treated her as an object rather than a person.

So Enji looks at all these examples of shitty parenting. Then looks at his own kids who are, in comparison, well taken care of? Nothing looks wrong! That's totally the same normal and happy childhood he had! Even better actually because he has way too much fucking money and the kids have siblings for company!

(I do low-key have a scene written where he's talking with Midnight and just kind of like "..... I think I had a bad childhood." and girl is like 'Yeah I know.")

[riku-izanami]

Costume Chaos....3?

Team RWBY dorm

Ruby: AAAAALright team rwby! I refuse to be out done by team jnpr, so Let's show off our awesome costumes too!

Yang: *cheering*

Blake: *waving a small rwby flag*

Weiss: *rolling her eyes* how childish.

Yang: Come on, weiss cream. It'll be fun, just gotta get that stick out your ass

Weiss: Xia Long!

Ruby: Swear!

Blake: Let's get back on topic please....

Ruby: Right, Right, what was i talking about. Oh right, I know this was super sudden and we probably didn't have the money afford good ones

Weiss: Speak for yourself

Ruby: Anyways! i had Jaune make us some choice outfits based on our own personal interests *Dumps an entire box of costumes on the floor*

Yang: OOOohhhhh~

Blake: Oh wow

Weiss: * leafing through some of the costumes* Some of this material is very expensive and quite hard to come by. When exactly did you ask him to make these?

Ruby: Just yesterday actually

Y/B/W:........How the...

Ruby: Who cares, we got great costumes for free!

Yang: Can't go wrong with free stuff *looking through the pile* Oh~ momma likey

Blake: *holding up one outfit* They are very well made

Weiss: *Finally relenting* I suppose it wouldn't hurt to look through them.

Yang: *harshly, but playfully smash Weiss on her back* THAT'S THE TICKET ICE QUEEN! Dibs on the bathroom first!

1hr 35 in later

Ruby: Lookout Villians!

Ruby's costume

Its LadyBug!

Yang: *chuckling* Could have guessed as much. You love that show.

Ruby: Well at least it's better than who ever Weiss is supposed to be

Weiss: excuse me,

Weiss's costume...

I'm the first female General of Atlas! The Queen of the north, Olivier Marie Armstrong!?

Yang & Ruby:.....who?

Weiss: *throwing up her hands* Unbelievable! And who are you supposed to be Xia Long?

Yang's costume

Yang: I'm Goku, duh. Anyways what's taking Blake so long?

Ruby: Yeah she is taking a long time, *knocking on the bathroom* Blake are you ok in there?

Blake: *from inside* Yeah...just give me a minute!

Weiss: You've been in there for over 30 min, Are you sure?

Yang: *smirking* You aren't diddling yourself in there are you?

Blake: Oh my Oum, Yang!

Yang: *laughing* Sorry, but seriously what's going on in there?

Blake: umm...costume's a bit tight......having a hard time getting it on.

Weiss: Need some help getting it on?

Blake: No....I think I got it

The door opens revealing Blake's costume (just the body her head is uncovered)

Ruby: Woooaahhh

Weiss: Not bad...i suppose

Yang: *whistling* Lookin good kit-kat, really highlights your Assests

Collective sighs fill the room in response

Ruby: Not funny Yang.

Yang: Come on, look at her I had to

Blake: No no...I understand.

H̸͍͓̮̱̺̜͛̒̏̂̆̌̒̀̏͐̈́̆̿͆͛̿̊̕̚͘͠U̶̢̡͖̜͙̙̞̟͖̪̙̞̠͇͍̫̯̻̅̔ͅN̶̢̼̲̠͖͓̲͕̜͈̗͔̜̪̞̬̅̇̆̓́̇ͅG̵̨̨̢̠̝̖͕̭̩͉̣̖̚ͅR̷̡̺͈̰̩͔̳͇͓͈̩͙̦̈́͋̑̈́͆̐̽̌̆̐́̒̋̐̅̃̄̑̏̆̋͜͠Y̸̢̡̙̬̜̮̳̙̮̤̳̭̮͙̲͔̟͉͔̐͐̆͑ͅͅ

Blake's body jerked forward suddenly.

Yang: You ok Blake?

Blake: Yeah....just kinda hungry

F̵͇̼̼̹̥̔̓͜O̷̡̻͕̱̻̳̣͕̘̾͌̾̑ͅǑ̸̱͖̤̺̖͎̫̹̋̉͆̈́͑ͅD̸̠͖̭̱͚̳̮͍̣̄͐̏͠ ̶̡̡̩̬͙̙̉͊̃̆̊͒̓͘N̶̨͛O̸̭̳͂̉͘͠W̸̖̼̲͇͠!̴̰̔̑̏

Blake: *lurches towards the door* Woah..umm...ok I think i'm gonna go get something to eat now....LAter

She shot out the door, jerking and stumbling around.

Yang:......Oooooooooooooooookay....Weird

Ruby: I'll say. enom costume's right here

______________________________________________________________Why blake is wearing the venom symbiote.....eh....why not it's Halloween. things can get crazy

[cassyapper]

"I believe we did."

"you dont get to commit the sin and then ask us all to feel sorry for you when there are consequences"

uh okay minor oppenheimer thought dump. it's not gonna be super long cause im still musing i think

in terms of what it is, well made film. the script had really powerful lines and they were delivered very well by really good actors. and the score...jesus fuck. i think it might jsut be me hearing things but the film ending with the final note of a song that sounds like an air raid siren oughhg

there's definitely room for criticism (both historical--accuracy-wise and film-making wise) but i do like the movie for what it is. i didnt find it enlightening per se cause i already knew a lot of the basic facts going in (or at least, the facts presented in this movie), but the presentation of it was so harrowing it's hard not to be affected. and that being said, i do think the film does a good job of presenting the impact of the atomic bomb in a way (ie, a (white) americentric way) so that certain groups of americans can finally understand why dropping the bomb was a bad fucking idea but only time will tell if that was successful. it'd be nice if i could stop seeing people say "well we had to" as if it was fucking america's hands tied behind its back. anyway

one thing i want to say but unfortunately i'm still not quite sure how to phrase is how i feel/what i got out of this movie as a white american soon-to-be-scientist. like, some details really gathered my attention, particularly about compartmentalism (an idea very anti-modern science...hiding your work like that from your countryman colleagues/the entire world of science at large would not fly today. clarity is very important. and especially in america, the events of the mid 20th century are really why it became proper etiquette to be absolutely transparent and i just think this film did a good job of explaining that even if unintentionally), how science and politics and ethics go hand in hand despite many white american scientists pretending so so hard otherwise for so long, and how oppenheimer was perfectly fine stealing native people's burial grounds from them to gain his own glory, but only grew a conscience about it later when it was clear the government would not give the land back and would build an h bomb with or without his assistance (so no glory for him there) and how that's reflective of well...modern colonialism honestly. it's a very "it's not about control it's about science!" excuse right now (see the mauna kea incident for example). speaking of, i really like the breakdown of the like mythical figure of oppenheimer. he is presented as the coward he 100 percent was in this film and you're not supposed to feel bad for him really -- maybe just kinda somber because of the greater whole (that being said i do wish they cemented this a bit more...)

it's definitely tonally a horror movie to be quite frank. which i think is only appropriate considering its subject matter

hm. yeah that's all i can say rn. it's late and i'm tired so im sorry if some of this is worded weird, i def have some runon sentences. i hope my points are apparent nonetheless

[tamarakkoarchive]

FE:3H livetweet thread (1/3)

i'm familiar w advance wars so it's not new grounds gameplay-wise to me but i still turned off the permanent death thing because well. this sure seems an annoying as hell feature

~

after spending almost a year playing nothing but smtiva this will be my palate cleanser for a wh- oh god damnnit

~

fond of this closer-to-how-an-irl-foreigner-speaks syntax approach rather than making the character speak like a caveman or just say random words in their own language

~

the eng VAs are honestly good and often give a special touch to some characters but i ended up muting the voices fast bc games using them in every existing text box makes me dizzy

~

actually nvm comparing it to AW, calendar system w rpg jobs is the actual cursed deal here lol wondering the margin of error before i get permanently fucked

~

set everyone to wear the uniform properly to please my ocd

~

i can't help but get irked by characters going overboard on being stylish in settings that wouldn't make sense, act like the church pawns you are!!!

~

slurp

~

me: hm so tea time is probably the equivalent to that swsh curry thing 3H: would you like to zoom and observe me: huh caspar: *gives me the horniest look* me: ?????????????????????????????

~

can you refuse romancing a character like in p5 or are you locked into the first mf that you are nice to... oh my god... sorry caspar you were the primary reason i bought this game but i refuse to betray my class and go yumejo even if it's you

~

the other day i saw someone commenting that mixing dating sim with other game genres leds to the downfall of not exceeding in any (obviously implying FE and persona) and like, i think you can perfectly dislike this mix for what it represents and what appeals to regarding these franchises but strictly gameplay-wise i think it's very old man yelling at cloud opinion to get mad inherently at the mix of genres lol.

for smt i personally don't feel the need of big breaks between character interactions and the rpg aspect bc the battles are short (and actually, the demon negotiations are by themselves them lol) so i'm meh for persona but for this flavor of strategy game where you can take a whole hour on a mission i think it's pretty natural to wanting to have smth else mixed to make it less heavy on the player. i'm finding myself surprised at how long i can stay playing this per session compared to AW

~

the story progression is kinda… idk the word we barely know anything abt the cast or what the story is going to be abt and edelgard trauma dumps her whole life in the first alone night w byleth and says edgy stuff out of nowhere like girl? i just learned to fish the other day?

~

~

pretty fond of krabappel

~

ive been trying not to pay 2 much attention to it but i don't rly see the point of showing byleth's reactions and making her speak so much considering she has the personality of a dry wall lol it adds nothing to the scenes and just breaks the silent mc immersion

~

~

3H: commoners are plagued by structural racism which also happens to have a lot of dark skinned ppl in It me: well yeah 3H: it's bc nobles are inherently born w dangerous magical abilities so leadership naturally falls to them me:

~

pretty funny to see a character in the wild and remember "oh yeah. this guy. one of the 3 gay choices for the male mc where it's onesided"

~

annette watch out!!!! a male version of me somewhere might be fucking your father!!!!!

~

girl it's one thing to teach but now asking me to pick up trash like excuse me?????

~

boy, forget flayn. dive into my chest right now

~

oneeshota church achieved

~

now THAT'S what i'm talking about

~

just like irl high school

~

byleth sadly staring at her feet from the thought that she has only attracted genocidal women and boys with no pubic hair

~

[prettytanuki]

s02ep01 of Mushoku Tensei

Yay, everybody's most hated anime finally started!

"Hey, you, you're finally awake!"

Spoilers below!

So the episode starts and the first thing I see isn't the image above but... this:

Is this Rudeus? Why is he blushing? Can't trust blushing in this anime!

(it wasn't Rudeus lol!)

---

>Do I need to answer that?

Wow I see Rudeus became a snarky ass anti-social hikineet again.

She literally snapped (the arrow).

---

>I'd like a room for a month, please.

A whole month? So he's going to start searching from here?

---

lol he just left a pile of coin and went in

---

My boy, erm, man, is down bad.

This is kinda creepy ngl

---

>I'm not travelling to get over my heartbreak. I need to find Zenith.

Who is Zenith?

...

Oh yeah, his, his mom. I, I think...??? (or was it his sister???)

---

Wow now this is some tropey bullshit.

Ever since wild west movies you can't enter a goddamn tavern without everyone looking at door and making comments. It's like they sit in these tables just waiting for someone to enter through them doors. Like dude what were you even doing there before Rudeus walked through? Weren't you having a conversation? Drinking? Or were you like "hey bro keep watch on the door while I take a sip."

---

>Excuse me, would you mind helping me officially disband my party?

Oh, so that's what he went there for.

>*hesitates*

Just hand the tag, Rudeus, gosh, stop being so melodramatic!

---

>Did his party get wiped out?

Uh... no?

So did nobody notice what his party name was? I thought that would be important? I guess it's not that famous outside the... whatever that demon region was called.

---

>What about your party? >I work alone.

ok, kirito, calm down

---

wow he had a panic attack?

what... what is he touching in there

is it... it's her hair isn't it

...

okay...

bro is down bad

---

Every time I see a scene like this I can't help but think that this person only looks after Rudeus because he looks like a kid and if he looked his original way she would just kick him out.

Sad but that's what I learned from Cheat Skill: people are (jusfiably tbh) prejudiced against fatass hikineets (u_u)

---

Is he talking about his sister or Eris...?

(come to think of it, wasn't his sister already found? Gee, I completely forgot everything that happened in season 1!)

---

>touches Eris hair as a group of dudebros walk by

Rudy... bro...

Haha haha. Brutal.

Just dumping salt on the wound aren't ya!

---

>you're early

I thought he was diligent, but I guess he just didn't sleep.

---

Something I noticed rewatching:

>I can cast spells without an incantation >the girls: *didn't even hear that* >the two magic guys: :o (holy shit) >the sword guy: huh? (what are them reacting about???)

I guess you could say this is a big deal for some. And others have no idea about it.

---

>he doesn't shake her hand

Stop being so melodramatic, Rudeus, jesus christ, they aren't even dead!

---

So the leader isn't the strongest. He sounds like the weakest, in fact.

I'm glad they have a healer. If I remember correctly it's the one thing Rudeus can't do.

Tsundere girl on full power AGAIN I see.

---

>you might part ways with us and party with other adventurers someday.

No, dude, they're using her to teach YOU!

---

>They can't see well in the dark, right?

I'm glad Rudeus actually learned something in his adventures. What an experienced adventurer he grew up (?) into!

PSA: adventurer isn't a stable job. Please don't be like him.

---

Why do I feel like that's not the case for Rudeus...

>then, what if I joined close range?

RUDEUS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU'RE A MAGE

---

>the last person I saw cast silently was a teacher in my school days

It's that rare...

Wait how old is this guy.

He has lines under his eyes so I guess he must be extremely old (like 30 years old or more (sorry ;p)).

With that long hair, scarf and physique he looks like a character from some BL. Which one of the two other party guys would people ship him with?

---

THEY AREN'T DEAD. FUCKING HELL RUDEUS. STOP.

Guy you're talking to probably had his old party members die on him or some shit, your issues are NOTHING compared to *gestures around*

JUST GET IN THE DAMN ROBOT RUDY!!!

---

How nice of the monsters to stay together still in one spot where you can just blast them off the planet with one big explosion magic.

---

>mage, whispering: exa-flame >BOOOM

okay.

>he chants whispering again

Why is he whispering. That explosion was fucking loud. The monsters woke up already.

>he does it again

You know what I think that's just how he speaks.

---

What is Rudeus listening to on the ground?

---

>it's too late

Did he see it with his eye?

Rudeus???

Jesus christ, he was about to suicide by monster grizzly bear attack.

---

Stop giving everyone trouble, Rudeus. Cast some spell...

---

Wow the healer actually heals.

---

>Why isn't everyone running?

You think you can outrun a bear? Humans are better at long distance endurance you know.

>of course I know why they stand and fight

Because... they gonna die if they don't???

Sorry is this supposed to be deep?

---

>goes grope Eris embarrassing hair bundle again

>doesn't

Is this supposed to be character development?

---

I can't believe this lazy sack of shit did nothing the entire fight just to step up last moment and seize the hero spot.

---

Oh it's the melting snow thing again.

This gets a pass.

Because it looks badass.

---

This looks like it could make a good wallpaper.

---

Love at first sight!

If tsundere switches because of his power level I swear to god...

---

What is this. Blood? Mud? Fire burns? Cold burns? An EoE reference? I don't even know.

I'm glad Rudeus can actually loot things like a proper adventurer.

I'm also VERY GLAD this is actual looting in this series and none of that "monster disappears and turns into Japanese-style bath tub drop item" kind of bullshit.

---

The fact that he can say "thank you" in scenes like these is probably one of the best parts of this series.

---

One thing I noticed rewatching:

They're shaking hands NOW because he didn't shake her hand when they left. This went over my head the first time.!

---

>more tavern antagonism

Stop acting like NPCs, NPCs...

---

>everyone: fuck off foreigner >:( *xenophobes* >foreigner: we'll buy everyone a round of drinks! >everyone: uh, yeah ur alright :3

Leader is paladin class I see.

---

>Rudeus! Rudeus! Rudeus! Rudeus!

please stop

this is cringe

he just cast one spell

y'all spoiling him

---

>hand in pocket

AGAIN DUDE???

wait what

what

WHAAAATTTT

no way

It's the panties. The holy relic.

Jesus christ.

>what the hell am I doing?

What the hell are you doing really!

---

You know despite the voice actor's terrific voice acting it's kinda hard to take you seriously when you're pressing your teacher's stolen panties against your face like that.

---

I'm glad he finally came to terms that NOBODY EVEN FUCKING DIED YET.

---

Wow such an impact...ful.. scene... i... guess????

Okay, so we have both good news and bad news.

Good news is... he isn't into the redhead loli.

Bad news is... he's really into the teacher loli.

Sad news is... best loli is the crazy demon lord loli and I'm afraid we won't be graced by her absolutely psychopathic presence again so soon. But we will one day I hope. Think of it like this Rudeus was born with two eyes, right, so what I'm saying is... does that count as foreshadowing??? Please???

---

So new season starts with now-veteran adventurer Rudy getting into a new party and he will probably use their help to search for his mother (?) Zenith.

All things ranted one thing we get in this anime that we don't normally get is a character having started his adventurer job from zero in a world, leaving a party, then forming a new party and showing off his experience.

Normally it's start from zero OR start with full experience.

Refreshing that we get to see both ways for once.

[fertilize-my-eggs]

" all of this is for me? You shouldn't have. " mean dom! shigaraki x virgin sub fem! Reader smut

🚫MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI THANKS YOU ♡🚫

Author: I basically ask my friend @delfinafiore for randomly numbers so this is kinda a self request I guess lol anyway I hope you and everyone enjoy this x3

There the link if y'all wanna request nasty fanfics from me ♡

♡88: " are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop. "

♡171: I'm sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification just from stare at him if I try hard enough.

♡399: " I just wanna fuck the pain away. "

Warings: rough sex + creampie + multiple orgasm + fingering & oral sex (f) + breeding kink + corrupt kink + losing v-card + possessive tomura at the end.

You were staring at your boss for little while. you and him were at the bar drinking on this deep lonely night. you couldn't help but stare at his beauty. You made a soft sign. I'm sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification just from stare at him if I try hard enough.

He's felt it in the back of his head, your staring long, he's couldn't help but feel slightly irritated.. Why is she's staring at me? I mean I don't mind but it's getting really annoying. His hand goes up to his neck to scratch a bit then turn to look at yours." Y/n.. What's the hell is the staring problem?? Quite it. " He's made a hiss like noise, your eyes went wide didn't mean to make your boss unconfortable by your stare.

" I-I... Sorry Mr.tomura! I.. " you try to think of something that's more flirty and make it pretty obviously. You pull a small piece of hair behind your ear then did a cute caressing on his thigh. " I was.. Thinking we're could do something that very private in your room. " you felt your cheeks getting warm by the second, his narrow eyes were looking at your hand then at you as he's harshly push it away, he's get up." No.. I don't care, you're very weird person y/n. " your eyes went wide and felt well should of see this one coming, He's not used someone wanted him in that kind of way. You felt tears coming watching him leave.

You softly say." I just wanna fuck the pain away. " tomura pause at the door as He's turn his head to the side." Excuse me? What's was that.. That's you mumble. " He's could felt his cock getting hard by the second. You made a grunt noise." Nothing tomura just nothing.. " you know what's I'm gonna be bold you thought." All I wanted.. Was a good dick down because my boyfriend.. Well ex.. He's dump me last night because-.." Your eyes were getting watery by the minute. He's was still there watching you finished your sentence." He's won't do it with me.. " you turn your head to the side but tomura grab your chin making you look at his lustful eyes." Do what? "

Your teary eyes blink at him dumbly as you begin to whimper." He's said I was.. Too freaky for him even though I never had sex. " tomura bite his lips softly, He's does have a thing to corrupt your innocence before you had a boyfriend, He's just thought you would already lose it.

Tomura lean in to whisper in your ear." are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop. " your face turn super red but you give a warm smile." Yeah I'm sure-.. " you made a loud gasp when he's pick you up to take you to his room, he's quickly bite and suck your neck." Your ex is a fucking dumbass for dumping you princess." You soft moan out, kiss his head while your soft hands was playing his messy locks." He's was too vanilla for me personally. " you made a soft giggle, tomura open the door to slammed it shuted, He's walk to the bed to throw you on it. You quickly remove most the clothing, it's really happening.. You did had thing for your boss before your boyfriend but tomura was right, He's wasn't into kinkest stuff like you were and when your ex dump you saying He's would rather have someone who's basic as him and before you knew it, it's was time to make moves with your boss. You made loud gasp when he's pull your thighs toward him, his eyes watch your exposed opening twitch.

You made loud cry like whine when his hand harshly slap your entrance few times making it a pretty red, His thumbs pull your lips wide just for his heavy eyelids." All of this is for me? You shouldn't have. " He's lean in to start kisses and sucking your clit harsh, you cry his name, your hips was grinding his face fast. He's was writing his full names with his tongue, you watch him go to town eating you out like five star meal.

Tomura wrap his arm around your thick thighs to pull you closer to him, his long boney fingers slide inside your sweet walls." Mmm so fuckin' tight. " your whole face was sweating, flustered from him devouring your sweet juices. His fingers moving faster and harder inside your walls, his crimson eyes watch you begin to reach your first orgasm.

You scream out his name, your whole body goes stiff from the intense high, your thighs were twiching and shaking but he's still keep going.

He's move away to finger fucking your pussy." You like that my sweet princess? Can't wait to make you my queen. " you nod your head fast, couldn't make any words just moan out his name. He's finally remove his fingers out and shove it in your mouth, you tasting your sweet essence. He's watch you moaning, sucking around his fingers as he's remove his fingers. You made some pants as you watch him rubs his wet fingers all over his cock, He's pump it few times.

" ready my sweet dollface. " you made a whine when you felt his spongy tip tapping your sensitive clit." Please.. Put it in, I want your cock inside me please. " He's bite his scarred lips a bit as he's put his reddish tip to your entrance and push inside your tight velvet wall. You both made a loud gasp at the same time, he's was half way in and finally he's couldn't take it anymore, he's start ramming your pussy fast and hard. He's wasn't giving you any time to adjust to his size, your hands move to his back to create heavy scratch marks." Yes yes yess-! Fuck-.. Mark your King as yours baby, I'm already yours. " you couldn't listen to his rambling, his hips keep knocking your air out making you wraps your legs around his hips to pull him closer, your teary eyes couldn't see him, it's was getting too much. Your head was throw back and your back arch up for your breast to touch his chest, he's watch you in awe when you reach your second high this one was too intense." Please-!! Please... Breed me tomura." You though He's was gonna stop a bit but you saw his eyes change from deep red to pure black, it's trigger something in him. He's quickly push your thighs up to your chest as you begin to sobbing, he's reaching deeper with this position.

" yeah? Mmm fuck yeah- ! You're so fuckin' hot." He's lean in to whisper." You want to be my cumdump-... Carrying my offsprings-. Fuck~! Making you nice and round? " your eyes roll back and nodding your head fast, his hips were going in inhuman speed, his tip hitting that's spot that's making you see stars." YES PLEASE TOMUU~! FUCK A BABY IN ME PLEASE-! " you cry out, at this point you felt other orgasm hit you like train, making you feel so dizzy and making a huge mess.

He's lean in to bite your neck more, he's loving your walls getting tight around his thickness. He's made a loud grunt and shot his heavy loaded inside your pussy, his hips still going fucking his cum deeper and fast. There was some loud squanching getting very noticeable but you didn't care, you feel too good getting dick from your boss.

He's move away to look at you with possessive eyes." Mine mine mine fucking MINE~ ! " He's slammed his hips again to dump more cum inside your sore pussy, you finally feel very satisfied by the good rough fucking, your skin is glowing from him taking your virginity away. You turn your head to the side breathing heavy, you dumbly blink few times. Wait he's not getting soft..

You made a loud gasp when he's manhandle you to be on your hands and knees as he's slide back inside and you made a loud cry from how sensitive you are. he's lean in to whisper.

" what? You think it's over? we're just getting start my beauty. "

[androgynousblackbox]

Hello,so my life has been overwhelming so I just want to vent, I am have a mental illness which makes me "act dumb"(all I will tell you) unknowingly which I received from my trauma when I was a little girl,my illness caused me to be ignored, gossiped and not have friends for most of my years in school which of course made me depressed.

But my parents transferred me over to boarding school lately and I met some other girls who are trying to "change" me and who tell me that my illness is all in my head,though we had a few good times as friends sometimes I kind of think to myself whether they actually are my friends cuz they scream and throw things at me anytime my illness acts up, they can sometimes be biased like they tell me I'm rude and I apologize cuz I may be rude without realizing it but they always talk rudely to me

And they can also be insultive at times like saying I can never expect to find a guy that actually likes me if I go on like this(cuz all the guys at my school are disgusted with the idea that I might have a crush on any of them because of how I behave) and on cases where they might misjudge me they don't really allow me to explain my side of the story properly despite the fact I told them already about my speech issues

I even had to go to an adult/teacher and tell her what I'm going through but lately she's been finding excuses to keep me from seeing her and told me the reason she doesn't allow me to see her is because she thinks my mental state is all in my head and I'm not trying hard enough to "change" myself

I really wish I wasn't a sexual abuse victim at the age of 5 so I won't going through this cuz I'm just a 15 yr old and I'm supposed to be joyful, happy and enjoying my childhood not cutting myself and being depressed, even my parents are kinda disappointed in me because of my illness. I know the long story I just told you might not surprise you cuz it's just the basic life of a neurodivergent youth living in an African country/ a country that doesn't really recognize mental health and illness

I really think that they might be good friends cuz we play together sometimes but I don't think they realize how much they're damaging me especially my mental health cuz I've been harming myself lately but the thing is despite the fact I've told them about my suicidal state they still do what they do to me (though at times I'm not sure they realize what they're doing) I might also not be able to judge the situation because of my illness,so what do you think I should do about my friends?

First of all, I am so sorry you went through that. You are clearly going through a very hard time and nobody deserves any kind of friends that treats them like that. But it's very easy to say "dump them" without realizing that how hard that must be for you. So yeah, absolutely dump those asses because no fucking friend ever should treat you like that, but since you do have access to the internet, I absolutely encourage you to find groups of people who have your same mental illness or same struggles. Even if they are entirely virtual, form bridges with other people who understand what you are going through and to whom you don't have to pretend to be neurotypical just to fit in. Use whatever platform it's more comfortable for you, but find those people and make your own support system. You can enjoy being young and having fun without those people who would rather you change and conform. You just need to find them. Also, as a side note, that teacher is a fucking dick and she can fuck off. "Your mental state is all on your head", as opposed to where? On your fucking shoe? That kind of shit is really irritating to hear and, again, I am so sorry it came from an adult you actually trust in because you didn't deserved that kind of response at all. Please, seek other people who will understand you. Search for hotlines on your country for when you go through a crisis and confide on people who do deserve you.

[love-hatred-stuff]

Pieces } Lim Jaebeom [got7]

genre: angst

warning(s): none actually, mentions of murder, heartbreak

word count: about 1.5k

note: so this is just a short oneshot that I wrote, it's kinda sad and doesn't have a happy end, inspired by this song:

Prehistory:

You and Jaebeom broke up a long time ago. No, actually it was only him that broke up with you and disappeared without any reason.

But the worst thing was that your last memories together were horrible. He was cold as ice to you and stopped showing affection to you completely about a week before you two separated your ways.

And one day he came to you with a sadistic smile and told you he wanted to break up. You weren't very sensitive about those things but it truly broke your heart. Of course you had loved him, you had thought he was the love of your life for quite a while before everything came out as a pure disaster.

What made you sad the most was that you thought he had loved you as well, but obviously you were wrong and had to find out the rough way.

You never forgot how he had looked down at you while you tried to find out what the reason was for this sudden break up. Because all he was responding was that he was dumping you. He asked you if you thought that you would be special and with that all your trust for him broke. So you immediately had made your way out of his apartment and left.

The love you both had shared was broken into pieces and he knew that, he just didn't wanted to realise that.

And eventually, you never saw each other again.

But until this day you ask yourself what the actual reason was or if he really had lost all his feelings for you in a matter of six days. You found it hard to believe but continued to live your own life, without him in it.

It had needed a while until you were pretty persuaded that it was better this way, for the both of you.

~

Your relationship didn't exactly start on good terms. Because you were born into a mafia family and everyone except you were deep into this illicit business. That's also basically how you met him.

He had to kill one of your brothers but didn't in the end because he started to have feelings for you after awhile.

Skipping a few months, Jeobeom and you started dating. It never was easy with him, because he had kind of a broken character. He never learned how to give or receive love. You were the one that had thaught him everything he knew about affection.

~

Jaebeom's POV

present

I was finally back in her town and it gave me chills that rolled down my spine.

Never had I ever experienced something so intense like I did with Y/N and breaking her heart the way I did was the most cruel thing I had ever done in my life.

Not just that, it was really stupid of me.

I left her because she would be safer without me by her side. But I figured now that it didn't made any difference. We were always in danger, no matter if we're together or not.

And I want her back, badly. Since the day I broke her heart.

My heart hurts since the time we've been taking separated ways too.

I know that the chanve is low for her to forgive me, but I can't live without her in my life any longer. It's a wonder that I have made it until this day.

~

I was in the same apartment that I had been living in when I got the job to kill one of Y/N's brothers.

I never finished this mission because it just felt wrong to do that while I was loving the sister of his.

My plan was to visit her that day to apologise for all of my mistakes.

•••

I was standing in front her door taking a deep breath while asking myself if I really should do this.

But I had to, I loved her.

She thought me how to love and I had left her, alone, all by herself.

I hated myself for that. At least as much as she must hate me.

Now she deserved at least an excuse from me.

Suddenly I heard a female laughing from inside the apartment and frowned when it was followed by a male chuckling.

I didn't thaught about that until this moment. What if she's not alone anymore?

This thought scared me. What would I do if I couldn't win her back?

My eyes got teary without even having to see her face.

God, I was so broken.

I compelled myself to knock finally and waited for someone to open up.

It needed a few seconds before the door slowly swung open and revealed the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

I could see how her whole body tensed and her eyes slightly widened in shock.

I sensed, it wasn't a good kind of shock.

She doesn't want to see me.

Y/N breathed out to calm down and opened her mouth to say something.

"Jaebeom? What do want here?" Her voice was monotone and sounded like she really didn't want me here.

"I- Needed to see you." Was all I could press out, before looking down to the floor.

Afraid to encounter her stern gaze full of hate.

"We didn't see each other for a year. What makes you wanna see me now?" She asked, probably getting angry inside.

"I don't know. I think I miss you, Y/N." I guilty looked in her eyes.

She snorted out shortly and gave me a questionable look.

"You don't have the right to miss me, Jaebeom."

"I know, but I do anyways. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm here to say sorry." I explained while trying to figure out what she thought at that moment.

"Should I congratulate you for having the courage to appear after a year? No, sorry, I don't need your excuse. You made everything clear the day you ended our relationship." She stated and kept a cold look on her perfect face.

A tear slipt out of my eye while trying my best to not break down into pieces again.

"I'm deeply sorry for everything I said that night. Everything I told you was bullshit. I didn't want to dump you, I wanted to protect you. And you were special to me Y/N, the most important person in my life. I need to talk to you, please." I begged and grasped her hand.

"You broke my heart that day. You broke our love and everything we had in pieces, Jaebeom. Nothing will ever change that. I accepted that and am over you. You should move on as well. It's for the best."

I grabbed her hand tighter, not wanting to let go, as the tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"No Y/N, I love you. And only you." I confessed.

But then something disturbed us.

"Y/N, is everything all right?" A man asked from behind, causing her to take her hand from mine and turning her head to look at him.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I will come back soon." She assured him with a calming smile.

That smile that I wished she would give me some day again. Just once, once and I wouldn't complain anymore.

The man nodded and disappeared again.

"Who is that?" I wanted to know.

What if he was more than just a friend?

"He is my fiancè, if you really wanna know." She turned back to me.

I gulped in pain, feeling how my heart wrenched inside my chest.

"I said that I was over you, Jaebeom. You had your chance long ago and made me feel like I was worth absolutely nothing. But he made me feel worth the world. I'm sorry you have to find this out now. But I think you should go."

I never cried, but now I couldn't help. Now I knew how it was to feel your haert break into a million pieces.

"Goodbye, Jaebeom. Take care." She shoved me back a bit so she could close the door behind her.

I just stood there, frozen in my movements.

Everything I could do was cry.

I didn't felt capable of doing anything else in this moment.

  ●  ●

•Jaebeom•

♫"I'll be falling down,

You be watching by side,

I just need you in my life"

"Clouds keep turning black,

Baby, please just call me back,

You keep living in my mind,

Feel your soul inside"

"Falling into pieces, I'm so alone"♫

●  ●

•Y/N•

"The sadest part about falling out of love with you was that I remember how much I loved you.

I remember every single breathless, heartstopping, joy filled moment with you, and you ruined it.

I wish I could remember you fondly but you broke me so many times that I can't remember how to."

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

The last words were copies and are not my original lines

The pictures that I used for this cover are not mine, all credits to the owners

[neshabeingchildish]

03. Robin’s Telling

I’m using some of my head canons I shared when @writing-excuses​ was wondering about ones we have for Chasper in this fic. So, y’all’ll see some things that aren’t necessarily canon, but I’m trying to a certain degree to be canonical with who the characters are at their core, and trying to build the story on that. Try to be patient with me, as this ain’t really that popular of a ship and don’t really have a super amount of ‘canon fodder.’ Lol. I have about 5 chapters outlined, so after the next couple, it may slow down a little. 

Robin’s Telling or Tales from the Friendship Zone

So, whenever they were in 6th grade, Jasper and Charlotte were assigned to this team building experiment disguised as a creative writing project. They had to write a round robin story, which means that they took turns adding material to the story and had to try to feed off of the last of the information by their partner to write the installment of the story. Jasper started it off and Charlotte found it a challenge to sometimes make sense of whatever nonsense he had written, but she was a girl who could appreciate a good challenge. What she hadn’t appreciated was the ruse by their teacher to make her and Jasper get along better! But. she had to admit, it helped. 

The friends used the story and the notebook it was written in to continue this process and in turn, sort of built upon their friendship as the saga continued.  When they came to the end of the spiral, Jasper panicked. “It can’t be over! We never made an ending for it!!!” He was seriously freaking out. Charlotte happened to have another spiral notebook available at the time, and she said, “Look... We can keep it up. Maybe... this could be the second season of it. I’ll even start it out.” She opened it and started this new installment of the story, then passed it to him. “Chill out. One of these days, it has to end.”

“According to who?” He wondered, snatching the spiral from her. She rolled her eyes and walked off.

And now, they were in season 6 of Robin’s Telling, as she liked to call it (He called it Tales from the Friendship Zone), and they rarely ever really used it, but every now and then, one of them would either continue from where they left off or ask the other if they had continued yet. It was in Jasper’s care at the moment and after he left her house (which was done after he watched her sleep for a little bit, then realized that was probably weird and creepy, but waking her up was probably dangerous). He got home and his mom wasn’t even there. Typical. But, he was able to pull out the current spiral and get some writing done. He’d pass it off to her at Man Band practice.

.

Charlotte and Henry were laughing and playing video games whenever Jasper came into work. “Hey, Jasp!” Henry cheered. Charlotte didn’t say anything. Jasper wondered if everything was okay between them. 

“Hey,” he said and put his gym bag away. “What are you two playing?”

“I’m playing. He’s just losing,” Charlotte said, laughing. 

“I’m playing, she’s just being mean,” Henry corrected. 

“Neither of those statements answered my question, but enjoy.” He went back to the store and Henry gave Charlotte a weird look. She ignored it and continued playing, so he moved on, too.

Later, whenever it was time for them to go home, Henry and Charlotte were discussing plans for at Henry’s house. Apparently, they were hanging out after work, too. Eventually, Henry made some comment that seemed to elude that Jasper was invited too, but he didn’t know if he wanted to hangout with the two of them. Maybe he was just overly sensitive because he shared a lot of very intimate. personal information with Charlotte and she seemed to be acting like it never happened. Maybe she was avoiding speaking with him because he made her uncomfortable. At any rate, he said, “I don’t know how my mom’s gonna act if I spend two nights away from home.”

“No, you’ll be home later tonight,” Henry said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Maybe, you could call ahead and check in with her, to see if she’s more understanding, if you do it that way?” Charlotte suggested.

Jasper nodded, “Yeah, I’ll do that.” Whenever he spoke on the phone with his mom, he told her that he would be hanging out with Henry until later on... “Yeah, she’s hanging out too...” Then he sighed and was listening to something for a while. Charlotte and Henry looked at each other. “There’s nothing like that going on. We’re all just friends. She’s a good girl. Top of the class...” 

Charlotte raised an eyebrow and leaned into the mouthpiece to say, “HEY JASPER’S MOM!!!” Henry pulled her to the other side of himself and Jasper rolled his eyes, but they didn’t know whether at Charlotte instigating with his mom, or with his mom, obviously on the other line, trash talking Charlotte. 

“I’m sure that she’ll be home by a time that’s decent for a young lady. She’s a good egg. I don’t feel like doing this. Do you need anything? Okay. Yeah, love you too.” He hung up and asked Charlotte, “Why would you provoke her?”

“She’s trash,” Charlotte said, simply. Henry gasped and Jasper furrowed his eyebrows. “Sorry. I meant to say she was talking trash about me. My bad. Words got choppy in my head.” She really meant what she’d said, but that was a bit much to say to someone’s face about their mom. 

“Good save,” Henry said, sarcastically and wrapped an arm around Jasper’s shoulder, “But, what kind of trash was she talking about Charlotte?”

“I’m interested, as well.”

“She asked, if my little friend was gonna be there, said what’s her name, then pretended to say the wrong names. Then, she said that if a girl hangs out with a couple of boys this much something fresh must be going on.” 

He didn’t want to go into detail, but his mother had advised him to use protection, in case she had something and also forbid him to do anything with her if both boys were in the room..

“You know what? I’m gonna shut my mouth and move on with my life,” Charlotte said. Jasper’s mom had SOME nerve, after the child-rearing job she’d done. Which reminded her, “Oh! Hey, I found something that might be useful for you. Actually, I heard an ad when I was listening to one of my podcasts. I’ll send you the info. She texted him a link to a therapy connection that charged $30 a week and you could text a licensed therapist! He smiled to himself and put his phone away. 

Henry was curious about what she’d sent to him, but tried not to butt in. There was some kind of other friendship happening with those two that he knew he wasn’t included in. SO, he made a conversation topic that the three could participate in. 

.

At Henry's, Jasper seemed in his own world. Charlotte was concerned about it, because he usually was the most talkative and cheerful one. At some point, while Henry was in the bathroom, she asked, "You okay, Jasper?"

He sighed, "I thought maybe you didn't care one way or another. I'm… worried that I weirded you out with all my baggage. You're not supposed to unpack in front of people unless you're going to be there for a while. I feel like I just dumped it all over the place and then suddenly, you were distant."

"It wasn't like that to me. I thought that speaking about your trauma probably stirred up some things and maybe you could use a break from focusing on it. Sorry if I seemed taken aback. I wasn't. In fact, I feel closer to you than ever. I'm honestly glad you felt like you could come to me. Are you gonna use that service I sent you?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna check it out. Do you mind if I hug you?" 

She smiled and went over for the hug, fell on his lap and they laughed about it, but she didn't move. Jasper had a pretty cozy hug. They didn't usually hug much, but his arms were bigger than she'd noticed and he was soft and slightly cushioned. It was like hugging a life-size, warm, plushie, or as comforting, anyway. Plus… did Jasper always smell this good? That was definitely new. 

He strummed her back and she rested on his shoulder until they heard, "Whoa!" Henry was back and he was shocked and confused by the contact. 

Charlotte got up and said, "I fell. Shut up."

"Fell and landed right in Jasper's lap, into a hug, on his shoulder, huh?"

"That's what I said," she told him. 

Henry looked at Jasper. "What? Sometimes people fall." He smiled at Charlotte and her face went warm. Sometimes people fall. Such a simple and true statement. Sometimes people fall in more ways than one. Not as simple, but she couldn't tell yet if she minded it at all.

.

Charlotte was surprised to see that Jasper had handed her the copy of Robin’s Telling. It had been a long while since they’d passed it around, but the anticipation of whatever she was feeling lately about him was heightened by her memories of how this process had brought them closer as friends. Jasper was kinda cute, if she was honest. If you took away some of his weird quirks and gross habits and just looked at him - like... if she had seen him in passing without knowing that he picked at his scabs, or asked you to help pop pimples on his back... She’d have to say that she thought he was an attractive guy. And either he was going through some life changes or she just had started paying attention - but a lot of his gross habits she couldn’t recall seeing lately.

It was almost like he had been either getting better or at least pretending to be more dignified. She hoped that meant that he was talking to someone about his problems and improving himself as he felt healthier. It still blew her mind that he carried around pain in that jolly body of his. That behind that boyish smile were tears that he didn’t shed or didn’t show to even his closest friends. She hoped that he knew that he could, if he needed to. She hoped that he was gonna sleep well tonight. 

As she finished writing her segment in the notebook, she knew that her emotions would show up in it. They usually did. Whenever she had something on her mind, stress, sadness, or anything... it was generally reflected in the story. Jasper used to be able to tell. He’d always draw a cute and/or corny doodle on the page whenever he noticed that she was down via her entries.

And a few days later, whenever she got it back, he had drawn her a three legged pickle, “a tri-pickle, if you will.” 

[kiheons]

"just because you call me mommy doesn't mean I'm going to baby you" I'M SCREAMIGN PLEASE elaborate on a shitty time where Bri uses that to dangle over Aquaria's head

I don’t know why I keep writing emotional shit. This actually shows a lot of character growth on Brianna’s part. 

It’s one of the things Aquaria hates most. When Brianna uses that part of their relationship to try and invalidate what Aquaria is saying. Aquaria knows why she does it, Brianna is practically hardwired to hit where it hurts most and fight dirty. It’s helped her this whole time but it’s a shitty thing to say to your girlfriend. It comes out sometimes when they fight which is still irritating but Aquaria is like whatever it’s a fight.

Brianna uses it as a joke once. She’s teaching Aquaria how to cook and Aquaria is struggling and frustrated. “Here if you move your spoon like this it’s easy.” Aquaria frowning, and failing to do what Brianna is saying “This is not easy. Can’t we do something else?” Brianna laughing “Just because you call me mommy doesn’t mean I’m going to baby you.” Aquaria’s face falls. Putting down the spoon she turns to Brianna. “That’s not funny.” Brianna is like come on it’s a little funny. “No that’s not funny. That’s not funny Brianna don’t say that.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Aquaria looks pissed. “Yes it is. You’ve done this before. You use it as a weapon against me. That’s one thing but for you to make fun of me? It’s not funny, it never has been.” Brianna cocking an eyebrow “It’s just a joke.” Aquaria shaking her head. “No it’s not! Brianna when I call you that…it’s because I trust you.” Aquaria’s voice gets soft “I call you that because I trust you so for you to make fun of me like that? You’re basically laughing at the fact that I trust you.” And Brianna is like oh. It never occured to her that that’s part of why Aquaria calls her that. She always kinda thought of it as a fun kinky thing, she’s older than Aquaria so it makes sense.

“I didn’t know that.” Aquaria rolling her eyes. “Yeah I could tell. Clearly you don’t feel the same. Whatever, just show me how to do this stupid thing.” Brianna holding Aquaria’s hand. “Wait, baby I’m sorry I didn’t realize that. I didn’t think you actually trusted me like that.” Aquaria sniffling, Brianna can see tears forming in her eyes. “Well I do. Every time I let you do something, every time I let you take me to one of your meetings, I’m putting my full trust in you. I trust that you’re gonna keep me safe. It’s a scary thing to do that so for you to make fun of it makes me feel like shit Brianna.”

Well now Brianna feels like an idiot. “I’m sorry.” Aquaria wiping at her cheeks. “Whatever. You don’t care anyway.” Brianna shaking her head, “No I care. Aquaria did you think I didn’t care?” Aquaria nodding and Brianna feels awful. “Baby I care, I’m sorry it came off that I didn’t. I care I promise. You’re so important to me.” Kissing Aquaria’s cheek, wiping some of the tears away. “I’ll stop. I should have realized that it was bothering you. I’m sorry Aqua.” Aquaria leaning into Brianna.  “I trust you a lot Brianna.” Brianna kissing her “I know. Thank you for doing that. I know the kind of person I am so for you to do that means a lot.”

It’s fine and great but the next time they fight Brianna says it again. The second she says it she immediately regrets it because she knows what she promised Aquaria. Aquaria looks so hurt. Whatever they’ve been fighting about doesn’t matter anymore. “Brianna you promised you wouldn’t say that.” Brianna feels like shit. “Aquaria I’m so sorr-” Aquaria cutting her off. “No you can’t do that. You can’t keep fucking up and apologizing and pretending like everything is okay. It’s not okay. You know how much I hate that.” Aquaria’s started crying but she’s holding firm. Brianna suddenly feels childish. She keeps acting like Aquaria is the childish one but Aquaria is absolutely right to call her out on this. It’s ironic. “You’re right.”

Aquaria sighing “I know you’re always on the defensive, I know that you’re always ready to hit where it hurts because of what you do but please. Brianna please don’t do that to me. I can’t handle it.” Aquaria’s voice cracking and as much as she wants to go hug Aquaria, Brianna refuses to. Aquaria is right. She just keeps apologizing and fucking up over and over and nothing changes. “You’re right. I know it’s not an excuse but it’s what I’m used to.”

Aquaria looking at Brianna and she looks way too exhausted to be only 22 and it all kind of hits Brianna at once just how hard Aquaria works. She has a full time job but she still goes with Brianna to events. She has her own issues but she puts up with 20+ years of emotional problems from Brianna. She could easily be doing her own thing, not having to deal with any of the shit Brianna dumps on her but she’s still here because she loves Brianna. Holy shit, she loves Brianna. Aquaria actually cares about her and loves her and trusts her and Brianna knows she’s a monster who’s trying to convince herself that she’s maybe not a complete demon but Aquaria genuinely loves her. Brianna has never felt stupider in her entire life.

Aquaria is very quiet when she says “I know you don’t trust me. I know you don’t love me. But can you at least try?” Brianna’s entire life, her entire career has been about keeping herself guarded and keeping everyone at arm’s length. She knows if she trusts the wrong person everything she’s spent all her life working on will crumble around her. But this is also the same reason her relationship with Bob didn’t work out. She didn’t trust him and she was too stupid to realize what it was doing to their relationship. Aquaria is giving her a chance to at least try. If she throws this away it’s all over.

“I don’t trust you. I love you but not in the way you love me.” Aquaria squeezing her eyes shut and Brianna can tell she’s trying not to cry. One of Brianna’s worst fears is emotional vulnerability but it’s now or never. “Aquaria I’m scared.” Brianna has never felt this uncomfortable and scared in her entire life. She’s seen governments collapse, she’s gone toe to toe with some of the most powerful people in the world, she’s put herself in the position where one wrong move could end her entire career and possibly her life. But standing in her living room, in her pajamas, talking to a blonde, bright eyed 22 year old who loves her in a way that Brianna can’t imagine loving anyone is still the scariest thing she’s ever done.

“I’m scared. Aquaria I don’t trust people, I can’t trust people.” Brianna thinks she might be crying and she genuinely can’t remember if she’s ever let Aquaria see her cry. “If I don’t trust people I can’t love them either.” Aquaria isn’t looking at her, just nodding. Brianna’s vision is going blurry and fuck she’s crying isn’t she. “Aquaria I don’t know what to tell you.” Aquaria wiping her eyes, looking at Brianna and Brianna feels pathetic. Aquaria is a much stronger person than her. “You don’t have to explain.” She’s so fucking patient with Brianna and Brianna wants to stop crying but she can’t. “Just try. I don’t care how long it takes, hell I don’t even care if you never manage to love me. Can you at least try?”

Brianna’s chest feels tight and she feels like she’s gonna drown and she has to sit down she can’t do this. Plopping down very ungracefully on the carpet and covering her face with her hands and letting herself sob. She can feel Aquaria’s hand rubbing her back and saying something that Brianna’s can’t really hear. Brianna let’s Aquaria pull her into a hug and she feels so stupid because Aquaria’s so young and she has so much ahead of her and she doesn’t need to be here having to comfort Brianna who should have her life together. But Aquaria is warm against Brianna, she’s holding Brianna tight and Brianna thinks maybe, maybe I can let myself have this.

Aquaria let’s Brianna cry into her chest for the next 20 minutes and by the time Brianna’s calmed down she feels like an idiot. “Aqua I’m sorr-” Aquaria cutting her off with a kiss. Pressing her forehead against Brianna’s. “You don’t have to apologize.” Her voice is soft and she’s so kind and Brianna wants to cry again. “I just need to know. Can you try?” Brianna nodding. She at least owes Aquaria this. “I can.” Aquaria smiling. “Then that’s enough for me.”

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Hey, it's me again. The idiot rambling anon. I wasn't gonna spam you again, but then I read your responses. At this point, I'm convinced you're my alter ego, lol. My thoughts are all over the place, but I'll try to organize them. So, about Nick. I've purposely avoided talking about him so far, but why the hell not? Let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT of of those thirsty fangirls. But even if I was? I wouldn't get offended or butthurt, because another person likes different fictional

2) characters (of all things) than me. I mean, big fucking deal. Each to their own, no need for apologies. ;) (My tone is a little aggressive, I know, but I’m sick and tired of some people on social media –in and out of fandoms– acting holier-than-thou and sending hate messages and even actual death threats (!) to creators or people that express unpopular opinions*. It’s reached a point where many people feel the need to put disclaimers in their posts so as not to be attacked.)

3) Back to Nick. I liked him just fine back in early S1, when he was all mysterious and his background story was unknown to us. When we did learn about it and the fandom started acting like he’s that pure, handsome angel uwu? Nah. Obviously, he’s no Fred/Serena/Lydia,but he’s not a “cinnamon roll” either. (Imo, the only decent dude on that show is Luke.) I mean, if Nick was SO altruistic, he wouldn’t have joined this job. Or even after everything went down, he could have tried to help other

4) handmaids without expecting anything in return. But no, he only helps June and that’s because he’s in love with her. I’m not blaming him for trying to survive under such circumstances, but I won’t idolize him either. Now, in s2? I’m kinda neutral about him. I don’t hate him, but I can’t say that I’m a fan either. Not gonna lie, he bores me at times, because he’s just… there. No sparks, no fireworks. Not sure if it’s the writing that doesn’t do the actor any favors, but his acting hasn’t

5) really drawn me in yet. A counterexample to this? Aunt Lydia. Her personality is despicable 98% of the time and yet. Dowd’s captivating performance makes me want to know so much more about her character.) On the other hand, I’m glad that June has someone (besides Rita) to back her up in that hellhole. She needs comfort and allies. But the whole ‘tRu Love 5eva" fanon thing? No, thanks. Not only it doesn’t fit the tone of the series, but I also believe that sharing an intense, forbidden love/

6) during such a shitstorm is not the same thing as keeping it alive after all is said and done (post-Gilead). Maybe they’ll stay together (as long as Nick doesn’t die), maybe they’ll fall apart. I can’t really see June romantically reconnecting with Luke either. After everything she’s been through… She’s a completely different person now. Unfortunately, the same things goes for Emily and her wife. Even though I’d love to see her interact with both her wife and her child in S3.

———

My inbox is so beautiful right now! Never, ever call yourself an idiot, my friend. (If you are, then so am I!) Brain twins, you see.

(Also sorry about this being out of order lol.)

I was trying not to talk about him too cos generally I just … I prefer not to think about him much. The fangirls, just, *sigh*. I try to avoid as much as possible in this fandom, esp on tumblr. Just hang out in my quiet little, not-Serena-hating corner. I always feel a need to put disclaimers these days cos as much as I don’t really care about random hate, I’d prefer not to have to deal with dogpiles or to look at it lmao. Like people can go around just hating on any character here–especially if they’re women–but say one critical (not even hateful) thing about their male fav and things just go off. 

I’m more than aware the majority of people don’t like Serena and think she’s the worst thing ever. And fair play! (I get it… cos I’m not delusional. She’s awful.) Each to their own. I don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her. (There are a few posts I do engage with cos normally they seem like they want to go deeper in The Discourse but most Serena/Lydia/Eden/Janine/June-hate I just ignore.)

ITA. S1 was, like, okay. That’s Nick. What’s he up to? What’s his deal? (I don’t really care but I’m not opposed to him either. Just like I didn’t care about Luke’s backstory/escape.) He’s trying to be good to June and she needs that.When we did learn his backstory I was not pleased cos he seemed like a twerp but whatevs. Grey characters are grey. It wasn’t until S2 that I started to get irked by him (and the hypocrisy of his fans but that’s a whole other issue). 

I can’t agree ANY more with your assessment of Nick. Like that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been saying! Firstly, he was RIGHT THERE when the Handmaid/Ceremony thing was first suggested and was like “Oh, yeah, great idea!” to Fred. I get that perhaps he was pressured to go along to keep his job but that’s a stretch imo, and if you can give him that sort of leeway, why can’t characters like Eden, Serena, Lydia and June get the same benefit of the doubt for certain things? Why is Nick’s pressure to keep his job more important and forgivable than anybody else’s pressures? It’s like that entire scene doesn’t exist to fangirls and Nick is so precious and in love and wonderful. Then there’s the rape of June. Like I know it’s pretty controversial to look at it that way, but that first time, with Serena overseeing it like a fucking creepy pimp (YUUUUUUCCCKKKKK I HATE IT THANKS) was rape. June barely knew the guy and I’m pretty sure if she wanted to have sex with him it wouldn’t be like that! And sure, after that, it was totally consensual but that first time was not. And I’ve heard the justification and excuses of “Well, Nick didn’t have a choice either!” which I call bullshit on, cos Nick is not some powerless delivery boy. 

He’s a fucking Guardian who is tight with the top Commanders. He’s a man, if nothing else. Serena can act all high and mighty but she’s still a woman in a highly misogynistic society. I’m not convinced Fred would take his wife’s word over Nick’s tbh, especially if it was like “Dude, your crazy wife asked me to fuck the Handmaid you’re obsessed with”. If he really didn’t want to do it that badly, he could have taken that chance to report Serena. Even if Fred wanted to keep it hush hush away from other Commanders, he would have gone after Serena. Men are far more likely to turn on women than each other, esp in THT. But that’s just my take. Maybe I am missing something about Nick’s status. To me, it was like double rape. Neither of them wanted to do it, like that anyway. But Nick also did fuck all to stop it when IMO he did have some power to do something. He is not a helpless victim in that society, imo. Again, probably not a well-received opinion. 

Don’t even get me started on his “Poor me!” routine in S2 when June tells him to have sex with Eden. I’m glad she called him on that bullshit. (But again, over the fangirls heads. Enough about them!)

Basically, everything Nick has done wrong isn’t his choice; he’s just a victim. In a story about women, Nick’s victimhood at the hands of these nasty women and men is the real issue. Blah. Whatever.

I just find Nick lacks total self-awareness about being part of the shitty ass system. He kind of just floats around thinking nothing is his fault and he’s blameless for it all, and he certainly can’t seem to see it from anyone’s perspective except his own. He’s upset about Fred & June’s Jezebel trips, not for her own safety or well-being but mainly he’s jealous. Of course he’s concerned about her safety but I believe it takes a backseat to his jealousy. He just seems to never take any responsibility for anything.

And BINGO about the previous Handmaid. Nothing we’ve been shown has given any hint he cares about any other woman’s plight in Gilead other than June, and only cares about her cos he had a crush/fucked her/is in wuv wiv her. Basically, she’s HIS so suddenly he cares about her. Look how fast he dumped that Martha as soon as he got brooding about June. He’s done fuckall for anybody except himself and that alone makes me dislike him. He’s no better than Fred in that way for me. But where Fred can occasionally be an interesting villain, cos Fiennes is nasty good, I find the actor who plays Nick just… not engaging. And he’s not SUPPOSED to be a villain! He’s meant to be a good guy! It’s crazy. He’s not compelling, he’s not interesting. He’s bland. He’s not even good looking, lol. I was watching with a friend once and mention I thought Fred was way better looking than Nick and she just stared at me and said, “You shouldn’t say that. But me too.” So, count me in the camp that just does not get the appeal of the character OR the actor.

I don’t hate Nick generally. I am just totally indifferent to his existence. If he left the show tomorrow, I’d shrug and probably be a little glad I don’t have to see that bland moping anymore. If he stays, oh well. Shrug. And I just don’t want his and June’s star-crossed romance shoved down my throat. It’s so… I dunno. I’m not opposed to June finding solace and hope but making it some beautiful forbidden romance, I’m not buying it. Like you said, it’s all well and good in Gilead–but it doesn’t strike me as something that can be sustainable outside it. To borrow from you last time: It’s the Handmaid’s Tale, not The Guardian + the Handmaid’s Tale.

Okay, enough about that pipsqueak. I don’t even like talking about him, tbh. He’s not worth it when there’s so much else going on.

ITA about Luke/June too. I feel like the level of disconnection and trauma that they’ve sustained, especially June, they can try to reconnect but it’s pretty difficult and I think especially with June having a sexual/romantic relationship with Nick pulls that really tight. It’s just two different planets they live on now. I don’t doubt that she still loves Luke, but actually reforming the relationship they previously had seems like an impossible task considering everything both of them have been through. It’s sad, but … sadly true for many people. Relationships can fall apart for far less.

And on the same page about Emily/Sylvia too. She is just soooooo fucking broken, and hopeless, that if they have them just rekindle with no issues, it’ll be bad writing. (I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.

Back to Lydia: Exactly! There’s a character we know very little about and who is a horrible person, yet the performance by Dowd makes almost everyone go, “TELL ME MORE!” With Nick, it’s the opposite for me. I’m just like, “Please, less of this.”

[basketghost]

i also didn’t know i experienced childhood trauma until relatively recently. my panic disorder and other mental issues started as soon as i didn’t have to see my abuser (grandfather) anymore but obviously i didn’t know i was experiencing trauma from ages 4-11 so when i tried to look into what could be causing the panic attacks (~13) and particularly dissociation i was really confused and frustrated when it all boiled down to trauma because i didn’t think i had experienced any trauma like i hadn’t almost died or been physically abused. all those times with my grandpa never registered as traumatic to me i just thought he was kinda an asshole. but fast forward a decade and i stumble into therapy again and happen to get a therapist training in trauma reprocessing and EMDR. it took a long time to convince me because i had fully bought into the whole ‘chemical imbalance i was born with a broken brain’ narrative, but eventually we went through enough of my past and brought back some seriously repressed memories and i was able to kind of distance myself from it actually being my childhood and think ‘wow if i saw literally any other child being treated like this i’d at least think it’s fucked up but would probably end up kicking this dudes ass!’. and since that discovery a couple of years ago i’ve continuously remembered more and more little events and things i was told that i internalized that have really put my mental struggles into perspective. i was a poor defenseless kid with existing yet undiagnosed conditions that affect communication and emotional regulation that was being berated, sworn at, guilted, and threatened on a daily basis. of course i couldn’t do anything but try and survive to the next day. of course my brain would develop a maladaptive fear response to those in power over me or even those in close social groups like family is supposed to be. i still struggle daily and i haven’t really gone a day in my life without the ‘just make it to tomorrow’ mentality but reprocessing my childhood definitely helped me put those struggles into perspective and has transformed my everlasting journey towards getting better from one of heavy self-criticism and frustration with inadequacy to a sort of gentle compassionate healing that has allowed much more room for joy and passion over fear and avoidance. thanks for letting me literally trauma dump lol, i do hope some perspective helps though and this at least makes you feel less bad about sharing your story in your tags. stay strong friend :)

God, I'm so sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you've been able to process some of it and come out for the better. ❤️ It really does help, knowing someone else out there is having a similar experience of the hit show "I Didn't Know I Was Traumatized." And when you said the thing about being fully bought into the "chemical imbalance broken brain" thing, I absolutely have too, and so have my parents, and they absolutely use it as an excuse. I keep writing out these long paragraphs that basically turn into trauma-dumping, and I'm not gonna bother everyone with that rn, but I guess it comes down to thank you for sharing your situation and letting me know I'm not alone. It's hard and it's weird, the more I think about it, to realize that my parents just. Tried their best, sure, but have fucked up in ways that are pretty much unforgivable to me, because they've wrecked my ability to form relationships, to care for myself, and to feel like I'm a real person who deserves good things. Maybe someday I'll be able to work it out, I dunno. I hope you're doing well, anon! ❤️

[lj-writes]

wrt your kylo theory about his connection to rey specifically point 3 i'm sure you've seen the visual guide (which pablo wrote) i(.)pinimg(.)com/originals/da/57/2f/da572fafdc45305512821cc17cac6720(.)jpg he "betrayed the other students studying with luke and is responsible for their destruction" i really don't think thats very ambiguous... i suppose its possibly that if rey somehow did destroy them that he might take credit for it when he turned to bolster his reputation a bit but idk (1/4)

Note: Since each part of this multipart ask asks a different question or makes a different point I will quote each part throughout the post, and append the screenshots after a cut for those who want to view the originals.

To preface, this series of asks is in reference to my recent prediction of what the twist in The Last Jedi will be. This post comes with a potential spoiler warning much like the original theory post.

On the first part, anon, your quoted passage actually gives me more doubts. If it’s canon that Kylo slaughtered the students, why put it in such roundabout terms? We don’t even know if the passage refers to ironbound canon or conventional wisdom in-universe. Even if it’s canon, betrayal and moral responsibility can refer to a lot of things from outright murder to giving information. If Kylo murdered the students, why not say so instead of using wording that is open to broad interpretation?

This wording could also work with a modified theory proposed by @tegdoh​ in this thread, where then-Ben unwittingly betrayed his fellow students to Snoke without meaning to kill them.

None of this absolves Kylo of responsibility, of course, especially if he covered up his role in the event and especially if he hid Rey away to avoid responsibility as I suggest. But the passage you quote, much like Han’s telling in The Force Awakens, does make me wonder if Kylo Ren as a school shooter is what we have been led to believe rather than what actually happened.

also stuff like the legends of luke skywalker confirm that luke was already travelling quite a lot after rotj. i think his temple/school was actually very informal and it was more of a community of people who studied the force together rather than luke as a pt style jedi master. this is purely my assumption but i always assumed he continued to travel and learn after forming the school, passing his knowledge on to his ‘pupils’ (2/4)

Thank you for the information, and that’s a strong possibility, too. Like I have said, I am fully prepared to be (and actually hoping to be) wrong. I wasn’t saying the school, whatever its form, was definitely gone by the time of Bloodline, only that there’s no definitive proof that it existed at that point. It just seems odd that Luke and his apprentice were out of communication for such long stretches of time that it’s a source of distress to Leia.

Even if Luke was traveling a lot, it seems to me he should have been at least reachable if he was responsible for a school. And no matter how informal the community was there was at least a building that could be burned down and where the students could be found and slaughtered, suggesting some kind of fixed location that Luke needed to be in touch with.

Even if he didn’t have the kind of responsibilities that required his presence and contact, there is still the question of influence. Why had he faded almost into myth when by all rights he should have a couple of generations of students who kept his teachings alive?

(The rest under a cut for length)

also if rey was a solo why did han and leia send an infant to luke? i think it makes more sense that if she were at the temple it was because she was lukes kid and he left her with his students/extended fam while he travelled i’ve also wondered if kylo dumped her on jakku for whatever reason but if that’s the case i really don’t think he’s going to be played as sympathetically/heroically as your theory paints him (¾)

As stated in the post, the theory itself is largely agnostic on these details and can work with just about any parentage theory. She could have been Han and Leia’s kid visiting her brother, Luke’s daughter who lived there, a Kenobi scion or Random whom Luke took in and so on and so forth. It does have more emotional weight with the first two scenarios, however.

Does my theory paint him as heroic? Maybe he’s understandable as a response to trauma and manipulation, and sympathetic for that reason, but I thought it was clear that he is a very unreliable narrator and what he did to Rey was horrible.

I said in the post that abandoning Rey on Jakku was arguably abusive, but I take it back. There’s no argument, it’s abusive as SHIT. In my theory then-Ben took Rey’s fate into his sole purview, put her beyond all help by faking her death, and even tampered with her mind. That’s control, isolation, and removal of agency, three major elements of abuse.

Note that malice is not a requirement for abuse. Even if he had the best of intentions, even if his heart ached to pieces for her, good intentions don’t erase the impact on Rey in the deprivation, loneliness, danger, and trauma she suffered. Maybe he reacted badly in the first panicked moments after the tragedy, but there was no excuse whatsoever for leaving her there for the better part of a decade. And this isn’t even going into Ren’s later crimes committed directly against Rey, those she cared about, and billions of others.

don’t take this is harsh criticism i like the base idea of your theory i just think stuff like 'he had to kill han to protect rey’ is kinda garbage. imo rian is going to make him 'relatable’ but at the end of the day he’ll still be a villain. (personally i hope he kills snoke, take his place, offers rey a chance to join him and lose it when she rejects him). rian talks a lot of shit but i think kylo will be even more in the dark by the end of tlj, he’s leading those troops to crait after all 4/4

Never be afraid to criticize me, I enjoy challenges. I completely agree it’s garbage. The “had to kill Han" part was solely from Kylo’s warped perspective and it’s why I put “had” in quotes. What he should have done was seek the grownups’ help and not take matters into his own hands, especially in a way that irrevocably changed Rey’s life.

I also agree that whatever happens in the movie Kylo will still be a villain. Heck, I think my theory makes him even more of one, just one with human impulses and feelings that should keep all of us on our toes because no one is immune from doing evil with the best of intentions. And I like your speculation, too! Very reminiscent of ESB Vader, as I think the trailer was intentionally cut to be.

also if rey was so powerful and being manipulated by snoke and kylo was also being manipulated snoke when he came up with the jakku idea, why didnt snoke ever go get her? she’s clearly very powerful in the force, maybe even more so than kylo and we see in tfa and in tlj snoke has an interest in her. if kylo left her on jakku i think he did it of his own accord, not because snoke told him to. also if snoke was in rey’s head why would he lose contact with her just because she’s on a new planet?

Well, why not turn that question around–why didn’t Snoke get Kylo? There could be a lot of reasons, such as Snoke wanting to use her supposed death and the gnawing guilt of abandoning her as a way to turn Kylo thoroughly against his parents and Luke. Maybe she was too powerful, and Snoke feared he would not be able to control her without Kylo as leverage so he had to wait.

You do propose an interesting possibility, though, so here’s an alternate version of the theory: Maybe Kylo was the one who introduced Snoke to Rey, and when Snoke touched her mind disaster ensued. Maybe Snoke did want to get Rey right away, and Kylo wanted to protect her from him and prevent other such disasters. We know that whatever connection Snoke has to Kylo is not absolute–Kylo disobeyed direct orders in TFA and had his own agenda–so this may have been an example of such rebellion. I like this version better than the original, although it debunks parts of the original (such as Snoke alluding to Rey when he said Kylo would face a test with Han).

As for why Snoke couldn’t still get to her, there are two answers: First, because Kylo evaded him as discussed above, and second, because in this theory parts of Jakku have Force properties that confuse Force sense and/or signature. Maybe this was why Kylo stopped to stare at Finn after the massacre of the village, because he thought he sensed a Force signature but couldn’t be sure due to the area’s suppressive properties.

But why would Ben/Kylo continue to be in contact with Snoke if he knew Snoke was a bad guy? For one thing, Snoke by this time was effectively blackmailing him because it was then-Ben’s action that led to the students’ deaths, no matter how innocently. For another, I think then-Ben was jealous that Rey had captured Snoke’s attention so much, and it was as much an attempt to keep Snoke’s teachings and praise focused on himself as an attempt to protect Rey. This would give him very mixed motivations.and make him more of a bad guy than ever.

(This is NOT to say that Snoke’s abuse of then-Ben under this theory was Ben’s fault, or that Ben wanted it. Under this theory jealousy would be Ben’s response to the grooming, the desperate attempt to get his fix in a situation where he was increasingly being manipulated into dependence. Hurting Rey to get that hollow validation, however, is a wrongful response to the abuse. Again, this is all hypothetical of course.)

sorry my asks got so long winded! also don’t take this as me thinking your full of shit or that i hate your theory. i actually think the base idea is intriguing and wanted to discuss it a bit. sincerest apologies if my tone ever came across as inflammatory

No problem anon! I’m trained to take tough questions. I really wanted to discuss this theory too, so thanks for taking the time to send the asks. I enjoyed the conversation.

(Screenshots of original asks below.)