#I'm sorry if it hurts your eyes

[witch-sweets]

SY$T3M 0V3RL0AD1!1!1!1!1

(Version without the windows under the cut)

[bertoyana]

something something when your best friend, your wife, and your daughter take the killing shot that was meant for you

X-Men: First Class | X-Men: Apocalypse

[saevity]

guess what i have been playing lately :^)

time is a flat circle and i will always end up digitally hanging out with the sims 2 girlies of all time. nina & dina caliente you will always be famous. truly two pioneers of women's rights AND women's wrongs!!! dont hate my girls they only did most of that!!!

[originalartblog]

Do you know who's also 15 has a final form values friendship above most things wants to keep everyone safe and has fought and won against multiple gods or god-like entities???

anyway I firmly believe a little bit of Sonic could have saved Chuuya.

[arthursfuckinghat]

Arthur Morgan 𑁦𐂂𑁦 Roanoke Ridge

[dailyfeelsjournal]

You know what, I'm trying to be positive. But it seems like a pattern now. It has happened multiple times already.

N needs to be careful with what he's saying when it comes to describing his current partner. Idk if it's intentional, but his statements has repeatedly making many people not only comparing, but also tearing his past partner down. I also don't know whether this problem stems from translators error or not as I don't know Thai, but from the translations - the things he said are painting J in a bad light. And many of his fans and his current pairing's fans seems to take them that way as well, and sadly many are happy to further drag J down. They only need some kind of leeway to bring J down and N is giving them that, multiple times.

His latest statement should have ended as, "his current partner likes skinship as much or maybe more than him". If he ended his statement there, no one would think of taking things further. But from the translations, he said something along the lines of, "He feels good his current partner is into skinship because that made him feels like his current partner is not disgusted of him." This statement can paint his former partner as being disgusted of him, or even homophobic. Some of his fans are already saying that.

Some people are not into skinship, it's just the nature of things. Doesn't have to mean anything. I am also one of the people on earth who's not comfortable with skinship. Doesn't mean I am disgusted or anything, it just made me uncomfortable. That's all. I'm sure it's the same with most people including J. Why the need to even bring liking skinship and disgust in the same statement?

I'm seriously so disappointed. Maybe N didn't mean it to sound that way, but it already did to many people. And it's not the first time either that he did this. DMD needs to teach him some proper PR skills IMO.

J never once mentioned anything that could bring N down, ever. He's been minding his own business, and yet people keep coming at him.

I've been neutral and ready to support N with his works and also his current pairing from the moment NJ separated, but N is making it difficult for me to be supportive of him. I can let it go if it happens once, or maybe even twice. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Idk if I'm being overly sensitive or what. But that's how I see it.

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[commsroom]

eiffel's problem is that he sees every injustice as an interpersonal issue. he doesn't understand how his flippancy or apparent leniency towards hilbert might look to hera; in his mind, it doesn't contradict his support for her. to eiffel, it seems obvious - he is also one of hilbert's victims, hera is his friend, of course he's completely on her side - but he fails to fully grasp how the stakes are different for her.

ep 19: "you need to stop treating this like a joke, officer eiffel." / "hey, i'm the person for whom the joke tolls." / "i get you're scared he put something inside you. but i hope you haven't forgotten emergency code alpha victor. he put that in me." and ep 51: "they're just jokes! they don't really mean anything." / "see, eiffel, you get to have that. they can be 'just jokes' for you because you're... well, you. but we don't get that."

the issue in shut up and listen is eiffel's repeated, if unintentional, microaggressions, but it's also his general use of dark humor as a coping mechanism - jokes he feels justified in making because of how the subjects of those jokes have impacted him. eiffel sincerely believes in treating people equally, but his idea of 'equal treatment' can be idealistic and naive. he has an awareness of interpersonal harm, but he's lived most of his life without ever being confronted with the reality of structural harm - being pre-judged and othered and having his life devalued on the basis of outside categorization.

but the thing about that is that it has happened to him, too. eiffel is an addict, and a convict, and marked as from a lower socioeconomic class than minkowski or lovelace, and those things are the reasons goddard futuristics was able to buy him as prison labor and - without his consent - consider him expendable for medical experimentation. none of that is a coincidence, but he doesn't see the systems at work, only his own actions and regrets. which he then equivocates to the worst actions of people who don't share his sense of morality or guilt.

eiffel's ability to recognize and bring out the humanity in the people around him is one of his best qualities, but... on the basis of his identity, he's been able to live a life where he conceptualizes himself as the default person, and that's been reinforced by the pop culture he loves so much. that's a massive blind spot. he assumes everyone navigates the world in a similar way, and so, on some level, he sees everyone around him as an extension of or a reflection of himself. if evil is always personal, then it can always be reasoned with.

[athousandbyeol]

all about youth with tianwang [an appreciation post, something personal, a word vomit]

whenever i think about jiang tian and sheng wang, i get so sad.

i think there's a part of me, the 15 to 17-year-old na, that hasn't healed from past wounds. but the on1y one magically became a remedy for those still-bleeding pieces. jiang tian and sheng wang's relationship, their personality, and their character growth, they healed me.

tw: suicide, suicidal thoughts, depressing ideas

i was very suicidal at that time. i thought the world was better off without me being in it. i didn't feel that I held any importance. i should just disappear. quietly. and it would all be better again.

i heard voices every single day for those three years. but I couldn't do anything but hold on. i was like a ghost at school. i was lonely. i was sad. i was demotivated. i was discouraged. i was looked down by my teachers. i was utterly hopeless.

i already wrote some notes for my parents, my brother, and my late grandmother. i was so ready to go.

but i'm still here. and i passed the age of 17—alive. i couldn't believe it. i still couldn't. i thought I would just live through 17—without seeing the living daylights of 18.

while watching the on1y one, i was constantly in tears. it was such a comforting watch. it broke me. but so many things about it gave me strength. and it made me reminisce of those better days when I was 18—when I finally had a sense of purpose—when I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

"(...) almost forgetting, i'm 17. when the whole world is mine. no hesitation. no weighing of options. I'm invincible and capable of anything."

if these words were spoken to me then... maybe I could be someone different. maybe I wouldn't resent myself the way I still am sometimes. maybe I could love myself more. maybe I wouldn't be self-critical. maybe I wouldn't be an overthinker. maybe I wouldn't be a worrier. maybe I would be more composed and relaxed. maybe I could breathe better.

but i'm glad, in one way or another, sheng wang realised that he's only 17, and he could dream a little more. he could be a bit more reckless. he could be impulsive. he could be loud. he could be in love.

and i'm glad that jiang tian realised he's only 17, and he could forgive. he could forget. he could let go. he could open his heart. he could smile a little. he could laugh more. he could cave into someone. he could find a home. he could fight for his love.

and i'm glad—that this drama found me. jiang tian and sheng wang healed me. they healed the 15, 16 and 17-year-old na.

so, thank you. thank you, the on1y one.

thank you, jiang tian and sheng wang.

[decarbry]

Is there anything you could say to yabureme to get him seriously distressed immediately?

images moments before disaster

[ali3nboyfriend]

last anon here, i'm transmasc and have had maybe the worst time possible on tumblr trying to find community here wrt my gender without accidentally falling into discourse and transphobia over and over again. in the face of feeling like i don't have anywhere i belong and that everyone else fuckin hates me for no reason, your blog is just so refreshingly Normal. i don't think you're particularly extraordinary or anything but it was just nice to see you rb that post about trans guys who get pregnant after me having a weird gender morning, so thank you. i can still kill in your name if you want though

i love you so much and i'm holding your hands.

i try and look at the discourse and stuff i see re: trans men especially with like... as much empathy and compassion as i can. a lot of the vitriol slung towards us on this platform are from our fellows who are hurting just as much as we are. sometimes it's because they don't realize what they're saying is hurtful, and sometimes it's because it is an unfortunately very human compulsion to try and grab control of whatever you can when you feel like you don't have anything you can control in your life. this isn't excusing some of the stuff i've seen said by any stretch, but it does kinda keep me from getting like........ doom spiral upset or angry about it. (not that i think that's what you're doing! just that it's how i process my own feelings about it)

i also think a lot of marginalized folk never really learned how to properly unpack their disgust responses to certain situations. we live in a society 🤡 that's very reactionary (at least, a lot of western societies are reactionary by nature, esp the United States), and it makes sense that when you've been geared up to React on a dime to something you don't really feel that you have the time to sit and deconstruct what it is you're actually doing. a lot of us haven't been taught to dig through why we feel the ways we feel about different people in our community, about why some other people would want to undergo their journey w their sexuality or gender differently from us, about why other people would think about things differently from us at all. and i know that can feel contradictory, because it is, when being in the queer community is entirely about transgression against strictly adhering to what's considered "normal" or "standard" in sexuality and sex and gender. but honestly i think so many people don't realize that coming to terms w yourself and walking away from your oppressive or stifling upbringing is only step 1, and step 2 is unlearning everything you were taught. my personal motto is "if it's not hurting anyone in any tangible way, or if the people it might theoretically be hurting are of sound mind and consenting to that, why should i actually care?" i try not to reblog discourse-type posts in general unless i 100% back what they're saying.

anyways point being is that like. it's not your job to teach anyone what they're doing and saying is wrong but it helps me, personally, to understand that a lot of the time they don't really realize they're being harmful and in fact think they're being helpful and advocating for the community. and i know it's a meme to say "people need to log off and go touch grass" but i honest to god really do think a lot of the really dumb and frustrating discourse i see on this site would just disappear if everyone spouting it logged off and talked to another queer human person face to face. which i understand is not something everyone can do. does not mean it would not help them lol.

people in the community IRL often just aren't talking about the things we see from the community online. they're all fuckin living their lives and using whatever labels and naming conventions they think feel right without caring about, like.... defining them. if you have a queer presence in your area at all and you're able to go to in-person things it might help a lot of the frustration and hurt you're feeling to see if they have any meetups you can attend? literally just googling like, "lgbt [CITY NAME HERE]", you can usually find some kind of pride alliance or LGBT org, and those things are almost always doing movie nights and meetups and stuff. you do have a place and you are wanted and i'm sorry you've been subjected to seeing shit that's made you feel in any way otherwise.

[fragglerockopinions]

white man experiences racism for the first time. sad!

[insurged]

one liner starter call? maybe? (ᵔ◡ᵔ)

[emilyblame]

I didn't want to explain the INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY album art right away because normally I like to let people draw their own theories and conclusions. However, I think context here will amplify themes of the album and make people appreciate it more than if I didn't talk about it so, here it is.

What you'll find come April 14th is that a large part of the album has to do with processing and growing past religious guilt. This is something I've struggled with and done a lot of work on over the last couple years after finding that it's the root of a lot of issues and emotional tension I face so often. It ranges from sexual guilt or even down to the way I live my life, but that's a large part of why there are notable hyper-sexual elements to some of the music in this story; it's growing past the guilt it comes with, normalizing the feelings, and defying those learnings.

You'll find it all over the album, from more quick, playful moments like lines in FUNERAL GREY, to more in-depth and analytic in songs like A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH.

Let's get to the frog.

I learned that frogs in a biblical context are viewed as dirty, vile, and impure; the way I've felt so many times, even before I realized what it was all rooted in. In a metaphorical sense they're even representative of "unclean spirits."

However, outside of a biblical lens, in other cultures and religions they're seen in a positive light. They're signs of prosperity, fertility, luck, etc. On top of that, they've been my personal favorite animal since I was a kid.

I thought it was so interesting that these beautiful things that bring such light and are perceived as good omens to so many people can also be seen as so foul and awful. And the only difference is the lens they're being looked at through. I had considered putting two frogs on the cover to show each side of it, but ultimately decided that the point is to show that it's the same thing: that a singular subject has such contrasting perceptions through a modern/spiritual lens and through the context of traditional religion.

On top of all this, I chose a poison dart frog because I loved the juxtaposition of how beautiful they are and how deadly they can be.

Now the colors.

I've always identified with the color blue even back to album one, where I felt volatile but consumed by someone else, hence the blue grenade/"sweetness" being surrounded by someone else's color. (Also, honorable shoutout to I'm A Natural Blue)

I liked the frog being blue, not only because it places me in the position of the frog, but also because that color brings me back to my naivety and most vulnerable "self." However instead of yellow, on this cover it's surrounded by a gritty, loud red. This is a color that represents a lot of different themes of this album like sexuality for songs like FUCK ABOUT IT and BRAINWASHED to violence and grandiose audacity in songs like REAL SUPER DARK and RITUAL.

To wrap this up,

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY is wordplay on the "mental real estate" or space you let someone or something take up in your head. THE PROPERTY is the "world" in which this album and its narrative take place. By naming it, and trying to "materialize" it, it's almost creating a real space for that release and catharsis of feelings I'm expelling on this album that can someday be closed and left in the past whenever it's time to leave this all behind.

Thanks for reading, love me for my typos

A

[pileofsith]

Nameless Part Seven - Boga Page 3/5

Boga says the Inquisitor's vibes are rancid.

🡨 Previous Next 🡪

Part I Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part II Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 Part III Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 Part IV Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part V Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part VI Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part VII Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

(Full view for sharper image.)

[dollsandmasks]

You know that moment where you have a crumb of free time and you could be writing, you could be finishing that fic, you could be catching up with your friends, you could take out your sketchbook and draw the most self-indulgent things, you could at least be reading or watching something interesting, but you happen to have a minor task that you don't want to do, your body is slightly uncomfortable from typical body things and your work has been a bit stressful today, so now you are in a restless scrolling more and opening the same three social media apps hoping that something will give you that hit and send your brain in motion and make you either work on tasks or do something fun.

Why am I procrastinating making a single phone call, and then doing fun things forever.