#I'm sorry if it hurts your eyes

[igniserii]

Lucemond Headers // 640 x 380

[witch-sweets]

SY$T3M 0V3RL0AD1!1!1!1!1

(Version without the windows under the cut)

[bertoyana]

something something when your best friend, your wife, and your daughter take the killing shot that was meant for you

X-Men: First Class | X-Men: Apocalypse

[saevity]

guess what i have been playing lately :^)

time is a flat circle and i will always end up digitally hanging out with the sims 2 girlies of all time. nina & dina caliente you will always be famous. truly two pioneers of women's rights AND women's wrongs!!! dont hate my girls they only did most of that!!!

[originalartblog]

Do you know who's also 15 has a final form values friendship above most things wants to keep everyone safe and has fought and won against multiple gods or god-like entities???

anyway I firmly believe a little bit of Sonic could have saved Chuuya.

[triglycercule]

would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)

i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself

which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel

and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)

a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc

and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to

i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)

[arthursfuckinghat]

Arthur Morgan 𑁦𐂂𑁦 Roanoke Ridge

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[commsroom]

eiffel's problem is that he sees every injustice as an interpersonal issue. he doesn't understand how his flippancy or apparent leniency towards hilbert might look to hera; in his mind, it doesn't contradict his support for her. to eiffel, it seems obvious - he is also one of hilbert's victims, hera is his friend, of course he's completely on her side - but he fails to fully grasp how the stakes are different for her.

ep 19: "you need to stop treating this like a joke, officer eiffel." / "hey, i'm the person for whom the joke tolls." / "i get you're scared he put something inside you. but i hope you haven't forgotten emergency code alpha victor. he put that in me." and ep 51: "they're just jokes! they don't really mean anything." / "see, eiffel, you get to have that. they can be 'just jokes' for you because you're... well, you. but we don't get that."

the issue in shut up and listen is eiffel's repeated, if unintentional, microaggressions, but it's also his general use of dark humor as a coping mechanism - jokes he feels justified in making because of how the subjects of those jokes have impacted him. eiffel sincerely believes in treating people equally, but his idea of 'equal treatment' can be idealistic and naive. he has an awareness of interpersonal harm, but he's lived most of his life without ever being confronted with the reality of structural harm - being pre-judged and othered and having his life devalued on the basis of outside categorization.

but the thing about that is that it has happened to him, too. eiffel is an addict, and a convict, and marked as from a lower socioeconomic class than minkowski or lovelace, and those things are the reasons goddard futuristics was able to buy him as prison labor and - without his consent - consider him expendable for medical experimentation. none of that is a coincidence, but he doesn't see the systems at work, only his own actions and regrets. which he then equivocates to the worst actions of people who don't share his sense of morality or guilt.

eiffel's ability to recognize and bring out the humanity in the people around him is one of his best qualities, but... on the basis of his identity, he's been able to live a life where he conceptualizes himself as the default person, and that's been reinforced by the pop culture he loves so much. that's a massive blind spot. he assumes everyone navigates the world in a similar way, and so, on some level, he sees everyone around him as an extension of or a reflection of himself. if evil is always personal, then it can always be reasoned with.

[athousandbyeol]

all about youth with tianwang [an appreciation post, something personal, a word vomit]

whenever i think about jiang tian and sheng wang, i get so sad.

i think there's a part of me, the 15 to 17-year-old na, that hasn't healed from past wounds. but the on1y one magically became a remedy for those still-bleeding pieces. jiang tian and sheng wang's relationship, their personality, and their character growth, they healed me.

tw: suicide, suicidal thoughts, depressing ideas

i was very suicidal at that time. i thought the world was better off without me being in it. i didn't feel that I held any importance. i should just disappear. quietly. and it would all be better again.

i heard voices every single day for those three years. but I couldn't do anything but hold on. i was like a ghost at school. i was lonely. i was sad. i was demotivated. i was discouraged. i was looked down by my teachers. i was utterly hopeless.

i already wrote some notes for my parents, my brother, and my late grandmother. i was so ready to go.

but i'm still here. and i passed the age of 17—alive. i couldn't believe it. i still couldn't. i thought I would just live through 17—without seeing the living daylights of 18.

while watching the on1y one, i was constantly in tears. it was such a comforting watch. it broke me. but so many things about it gave me strength. and it made me reminisce of those better days when I was 18—when I finally had a sense of purpose—when I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

"(...) almost forgetting, i'm 17. when the whole world is mine. no hesitation. no weighing of options. I'm invincible and capable of anything."

if these words were spoken to me then... maybe I could be someone different. maybe I wouldn't resent myself the way I still am sometimes. maybe I could love myself more. maybe I wouldn't be self-critical. maybe I wouldn't be an overthinker. maybe I wouldn't be a worrier. maybe I would be more composed and relaxed. maybe I could breathe better.

but i'm glad, in one way or another, sheng wang realised that he's only 17, and he could dream a little more. he could be a bit more reckless. he could be impulsive. he could be loud. he could be in love.

and i'm glad that jiang tian realised he's only 17, and he could forgive. he could forget. he could let go. he could open his heart. he could smile a little. he could laugh more. he could cave into someone. he could find a home. he could fight for his love.

and i'm glad—that this drama found me. jiang tian and sheng wang healed me. they healed the 15, 16 and 17-year-old na.

so, thank you. thank you, the on1y one.

thank you, jiang tian and sheng wang.

[decarbry]

Is there anything you could say to yabureme to get him seriously distressed immediately?

images moments before disaster

[ali3nboyfriend]

last anon here, i'm transmasc and have had maybe the worst time possible on tumblr trying to find community here wrt my gender without accidentally falling into discourse and transphobia over and over again. in the face of feeling like i don't have anywhere i belong and that everyone else fuckin hates me for no reason, your blog is just so refreshingly Normal. i don't think you're particularly extraordinary or anything but it was just nice to see you rb that post about trans guys who get pregnant after me having a weird gender morning, so thank you. i can still kill in your name if you want though

i love you so much and i'm holding your hands.

i try and look at the discourse and stuff i see re: trans men especially with like... as much empathy and compassion as i can. a lot of the vitriol slung towards us on this platform are from our fellows who are hurting just as much as we are. sometimes it's because they don't realize what they're saying is hurtful, and sometimes it's because it is an unfortunately very human compulsion to try and grab control of whatever you can when you feel like you don't have anything you can control in your life. this isn't excusing some of the stuff i've seen said by any stretch, but it does kinda keep me from getting like........ doom spiral upset or angry about it. (not that i think that's what you're doing! just that it's how i process my own feelings about it)

i also think a lot of marginalized folk never really learned how to properly unpack their disgust responses to certain situations. we live in a society 🤡 that's very reactionary (at least, a lot of western societies are reactionary by nature, esp the United States), and it makes sense that when you've been geared up to React on a dime to something you don't really feel that you have the time to sit and deconstruct what it is you're actually doing. a lot of us haven't been taught to dig through why we feel the ways we feel about different people in our community, about why some other people would want to undergo their journey w their sexuality or gender differently from us, about why other people would think about things differently from us at all. and i know that can feel contradictory, because it is, when being in the queer community is entirely about transgression against strictly adhering to what's considered "normal" or "standard" in sexuality and sex and gender. but honestly i think so many people don't realize that coming to terms w yourself and walking away from your oppressive or stifling upbringing is only step 1, and step 2 is unlearning everything you were taught. my personal motto is "if it's not hurting anyone in any tangible way, or if the people it might theoretically be hurting are of sound mind and consenting to that, why should i actually care?" i try not to reblog discourse-type posts in general unless i 100% back what they're saying.

anyways point being is that like. it's not your job to teach anyone what they're doing and saying is wrong but it helps me, personally, to understand that a lot of the time they don't really realize they're being harmful and in fact think they're being helpful and advocating for the community. and i know it's a meme to say "people need to log off and go touch grass" but i honest to god really do think a lot of the really dumb and frustrating discourse i see on this site would just disappear if everyone spouting it logged off and talked to another queer human person face to face. which i understand is not something everyone can do. does not mean it would not help them lol.

people in the community IRL often just aren't talking about the things we see from the community online. they're all fuckin living their lives and using whatever labels and naming conventions they think feel right without caring about, like.... defining them. if you have a queer presence in your area at all and you're able to go to in-person things it might help a lot of the frustration and hurt you're feeling to see if they have any meetups you can attend? literally just googling like, "lgbt [CITY NAME HERE]", you can usually find some kind of pride alliance or LGBT org, and those things are almost always doing movie nights and meetups and stuff. you do have a place and you are wanted and i'm sorry you've been subjected to seeing shit that's made you feel in any way otherwise.

[dailyfeelsjournal]

You know what, I'm trying to be positive. But it seems like a pattern now. It has happened multiple times already.

N needs to be careful with what he's saying when it comes to describing his current partner. Idk if it's intentional, but his statements has repeatedly making many people not only comparing, but also tearing his past partner down. I also don't know whether this problem stems from translators error or not as I don't know Thai, but from the translations - the things he said are painting J in a bad light. And many of his fans and his current pairing's fans seems to take them that way as well, and sadly many are happy to further drag J down. They only need some kind of leeway to bring J down and N is giving them that, multiple times.

His latest statement should have ended as, "his current partner likes skinship as much or maybe more than him". If he ended his statement there, no one would think of taking things further. But from the translations, he said something along the lines of, "He feels good his current partner is into skinship because that made him feels like his current partner is not disgusted of him." This statement can paint his former partner as being disgusted of him, or even homophobic. Some of his fans are already saying that.

Some people are not into skinship, it's just the nature of things. Doesn't have to mean anything. I am also one of the people on earth who's not comfortable with skinship. Doesn't mean I am disgusted or anything, it just made me uncomfortable. That's all. I'm sure it's the same with most people including J. Why the need to even bring liking skinship and disgust in the same statement?

I'm seriously so disappointed. Maybe N didn't mean it to sound that way, but it already did to many people. And it's not the first time either that he did this. DMD needs to teach him some proper PR skills IMO.

J never once mentioned anything that could bring N down, ever. He's been minding his own business, and yet people keep coming at him.

I've been neutral and ready to support N with his works and also his current pairing from the moment NJ separated, but N is making it difficult for me to be supportive of him. I can let it go if it happens once, or maybe even twice. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Idk if I'm being overly sensitive or what. But that's how I see it.

[fragglerockopinions]

white man experiences racism for the first time. sad!

[coquelicoq]

wretched. there it is. that's the word. i am feeling wretched. wretched is the word that describes how i am feeling today. wretched. what an interesting word. like the past participle of a verb, "to wretch", but the suffix is syllabic. wretchèd. [ˈɹɛtʃˌəd]. like beloved, but only if you pronounce beloved as three syllables, which as we know not everyone does, and not under all circumstances. is there such a verb, to wretch? was the participle ever pronounced as a single syllable? was the simple past pronounced as one? wretch'd. to speak it is an awkwardness. affricate then plosive. and would the plosive be devoiced? i suppose it would have to be. wretcht. [ˈɹɛtʃt]. i am wretcht. the day has wretcht me. my body, my wretch'd body. am i then a wretch? a wretch that has been wretch'd, a wretch that is wretchèd. how clumsy it feels in the mouth. the double recoil of the tongue, the jaw, the lips. the ricochet. not the rolling, like marbles, of "miserable". wretch'd is an implosion; miserable, a controlled fall down a flight of stairs. and wretchèd, two syllables, is a word that is spit, but only in despair. wretchèd, the sharp sting of my body describing its own misery.

[insurged]

one liner starter call? maybe? (ᵔ◡ᵔ)