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#I'm so stressed rn i got so much work to do
ventique18 · 1 year
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A married 🐉 who has to fill out a form, giggling like a schoolgirl when he has to check "married" as his status and write down his spouse's name. He accidentally puts a heart sign at the end of their name and has to redo the form again lol.
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arcaneyouth · 3 months
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aheem heem...... whimper..........
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apocalypticdemon · 10 days
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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emodennis · 1 year
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why did i decide to take a job at an extremely active and sport-focused camp this summer.
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vilelittlecritter · 1 year
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If I wasn't so busy all the damn time I'd do commissions, and also the fact I suck major ass at digital and don't have a printer/scanner.
One day, one day I'll steal people's money with mediocre art.
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poptartmochi · 1 year
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unfathomable emotions after showering
also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😨
#it is frustrating that overall it is fine for customers to use retail/service employees like punching bags. this guy will have no#repercussions for cussing me out beyond the pre-existing frustration that his order isn't ready because it was placed after our deadline#it is frustrating that you can't really defend yourself because 1) it takes too much time and there's too much else to do.#better to let them have the upper hand in their minds 2) they can take anything you saw and spin it against you in a review#like... 😞 i couldn't even get a word in against this guy. honestly i think he was using me as a stress toy because his kid is getting in#trouble for not having uniforms. which really sucks‚ I understand and empathize with that! but to react in such a way is unacceptable#it's common sense that a mom and pop shop will not process your order until the next business day if you ordered outside of their business#hours. i had to explain the way this particular school's ordering system worked to this guy the last time he was in. i provided multiple#alternatives to contacting us that he never utilized. like.. he had the tools to understand everything and instead of using them he decided#to erupt. and because I'm the poor fuck that works the counter‚ i got to be on the receiving end of this. i should know better than to be#upset about it (the eelness talking. everyone else was mad when he left) but. it's also fair to not want to be cussed out over something as#small as school uniforms! 🤨#and don't even get me started on school uniforms.. yes my entire job rn is selling them BUT oh my god. i hate them. they shouldn't be a#thing. especially when these schools cost an arm and a leg in admission + then the uniforms easily cost another#*$100. the entire practice seems evil to me but also it's the family business so. 😭. the way these schools do it also undermines the entire#point of school uniforms which is. uniformity! 🤨 i feel like the minute differences in brand and so forth and so on give kids easy ways to#compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only#one wearing a plaid jumper while everyone else has khaki bottoms on‚ they're going to stand out!#so what pray tell is the point 😭 imo it's best to let kids have the freedom of self expression and show up to school however they'd like#in an appropriate way ofc. but i digress 😩 this business is just. deeply frustrating + as if the work itself was not overwhelming‚ the#parents have to throw tantrums about it... I'm so tired! 😭#and they insinuate you fuck around + or say you don't give a shit.. ma'am I've worked so much overtime this year + that's not even counting#the relentless shifts I've worked in my nightmares that occur every night. like.. literally the only thing i do is give a shit about your#order!! at the expense of my sleep and wellness lmao! I don't eat lunch and i barely hydrate because I'm constantly working#but it is thog mode.. thog don't care... 😑 it'd be funny if i didnt care either 🥴😐#to sum up a long rant ig i entered the shower feeling very depressed and I've left angry 🤯 but this is normal methinks#anyhow l + ratio + you work at your family's store + you work customer service + u trip over yourself when u talk etc etc etc 😑😑#one day i will blow that store up with every parent ever. it will be so funny 💖😐😩😑#sriracha.txt#negative cw
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i'm just like ugh i gotta figure out where to get this x ray and when i should do it this week and i'm just worried about walking in without an appointment even though it says you can and like them not having the machine or a person to do it or whatever since i went into one place on the list already and they did not have x-rays
and then i've got this birthday thing which idk where it's going to be so idk if i should take a lyft or not and then i'll have to either exercise in the morning or choose that as my skip day
and then i'll just be worrying about my test results and not knowing if the doctor is going to call before my follow up or WHAT is going to happen and i just. cannot relax.
i just want to be done with doctors i really fucking do like just tell me what's wrong and let me be DONE like this follow up is gonna be the eighth fucking time i've seen a doctor in some form since all this weird shit started and if i don't get any answers i'm gonna be mad. i mean i'd rather not get bad news of course but i figure things are already mildly crappy in my body so like it's not like i can't get used to that i just can't stand the idea of it getting worse
#personal#like it'll be nice to see my friends but idk i'm just like too stressed#i thought it would be okay to say yes bc i hadn't gotten horrible news yet#but i just have that ugh i don't feel like being social rn especially bc i know people are gonna be asking what's going on#and i really don't like talking about it bc if i DID have answers it might just be like ah well it's not that bad#but since i don't have answers i keep thinking of how horrible it might become and everything it might take away#including my ability to say yes to plans every time they come around which already is a rarity#like how much less could i end up seeing my friends when this is the only person who ever actually asks to see me#i feel so bratty but like. why does no one else include me in anything except for their birthdays if that#this one friendship that i kind of assume is over doesn't really bother me but at least i sometimes got invited to hers with everyone else#though there were plenty of hangouts that i knew happened seemingly often without me#but yeah at least when she was in the mix i had a chance even if they weren't hangouts i particularly enjoyed#like it was better than nothing#and this year has already been so hard that feeling like i'm even more isolated than i was the couple years before#just makes it all that much more impossible#i just want to be thought of and like i know i do plenty of thinking about loved ones without reaching out#so it stands to reason it works the other way around#but the thing is i very rarely initiate plans so i know i'm not like inviting one person and never another or whatever#whereas SOMEONE has to be making the plans and i'm virtually never invited#i used to have the luxury of being invited often enough that i didn't have to go to a random hangout if i wasn't up for it#and now it's not like that and i have to say yes when i'm too mentally exhausted. who knows what the physical limitations are gonna be now
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lumchan · 2 years
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I NEED TO GO HOME NOW 
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miniimight · 1 year
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Gotta admit the way you write midoriya is just so... Literally can't find the words to describe it. I had this scenario I wished to request of you it's okay if you don't want to do it. Midoriya with an significant other that hears people taking about them, not deserving of him and how they are using him for his fame and all, then he teaches them a lesson?
DEFENDING YOU the gossip around the office gets on his nerves a lil bit
with izukuuuuu :heart: + gn!reader
notes absolutely in love with this request ! thanks for reading my stuffs <3
a while after you were revealed as his girlfriend, izuku was faced with many backhanded comments about his relationship. sure, they were few and far between, but when they did happen he felt his self-control diminishing way faster than usual. especially if that person had the balls to say it to his face.
to be completely honest, he thought that everyone else should mind their own fucking business. he doesn't kid around when it comes to the people he cares about. the fact that he wants and needs you is enough.
but, nonetheless. people will still run their mouths.
it was another casual day in the office. you had the day off work and he was stuck at the agency headquarters, flipping through paperwork.
you were excited to see him. izuku had been holed up in work for what seemed like forever, and you were so happy to get the chance to spend time with each other during the coming weekend.
as you walked through the halls, you noticed the eyes following you. they were hard to miss, but they were part of the routine at this point. you soon found yourself in the elevator, head ducked as you pulled out your phone.
izu: you coming up soon baby?
you: yeah, i'm like 5 mins away
you: okay im in the lobby, heading up rn
izu: yayyy can't wait to see you, love :3
you smiled softly to yourself. when you looked up, the elevator was packed; all you could see were the backs of the seven or so individuals in front of you, pushing you into the corner. your stomach felt a little uneasy, thinking about how you'd have to tell these people to move to let you through, but you remembered izuku was on the top floor. there was no way they were all heading there.
the hushed voices of a few employees made your heart pound.
"you're talking about deku's s/o?"
"yeah! aren't they... i dunno. a little out of his league?"
"i'm saying! like i'd get it if they were maybe a model or something. but they're literally just a civilian. how disappointing is that? like uravity is right there."
"i'm sure they're just using him for his fame. he's in the field so much with other badass heroes, they probably barely get to see him. if deku wasn't deku, they'd dip in a heartbeat."
they all laughed.
you wanted to stop listening. flood your mind with meaningless thoughts to distract you. but you couldn't resist tuning in, feeding your insecurities and doubt.
the ding of the elevator saved you. they filed out of the elevator, leaving you with the cheerful jingle of the lift.
you were quiet as you walked down the long halls of the top floor, their words echoing in your mind. you knew they weren't true—and god, would izuku reassure the fuck out of you—but negativity was negativity. and negativity had a way of finding cracks and slipping through.
the giant glass doors slid over the tiled floor soundlessly, yet izuku's head popped up from behind all the papers and files at your arrival.
a huge grin bloomed on his face as he sped over to you, paperwork forgotten. "hello, honey. did you get up here okay?"
"yeah," you smiled and held up a takeout bag. "i got some snacks for us."
izuku's calculating gaze bore into you as he gingerly accepted the bag. "you alright?"
"hmm?" you tilted your head in confusion. of course he noticed. "yeah, i'm good." the last thing you wanted to do was stress him out even more.
his brows furrowed. he stepped closer to you, his hands resting on your waist. "don't lie to me, sweetheart." his tone was scolding but his eyes were gentle. "what's bothering you?"
you pursed your lips, sighing. "just a couple people talking about us, 'n how i don't deserve you—"
you felt him stiffen, his expression going cold.
"how i'm using you for the fame, blah, blah, blah." you forced a smile, trying to play it off in an amusing light. "you know, the usual."
izuku was tightlipped, responding only with a "hmm."
he was staring at the wall behind you, eyes narrowed as if he'd seen a villain or something. you knew that expression well.
you cupped his face, guiding him to look at you. "hey. it's okay, izu, i'm used to it. don't mind them, alright?"
izuku's gaze softened and he leaned into one of your palms, the other lifted off his face by his own hand. he pressed a little kiss to your wrist, rubbing his hand up and down your arm soothingly as you both walked out his office.
he decided to drop it, and just love the shit out of you as an apology for experiencing such disrespect. even if he did everything in his power to make sure everyone knew he belonged to you just as much as you belonged to him, he still felt guilty when people attacked you.
he still had many questions: who were they, what floor did they get off, and how can i discipline them? he usually felt sympathy for when employees messed up, but suddenly... he wasn't against firing them all.
the ride down to the lobby was filled with many adoring employees who giggled at the sight of the pro-hero, a phenomenon you were also very familiar with.
soon, you were gliding through the lobby, so close to freedom when he picks up on the idle chatter he hates so much.
"i think that's them!"
"it is. woah, his s/o is way more dull when you see 'em next to each other."
izuku grit his teeth. his eyes glanced down to you, seeing the way you blinked and pursed your lips. he suddenly paused. you walked forward a couple steps before you were tugged back by his stationary hand.
you looked at him curiously. "izu..?" your eyes darted around, lingering on the three that said those things about you.
he smiled, bending over you as he kissed your lips gently, pecking your forehead as well. "why don't you go to the car, love? i'll catch up in a second."
you gave him a warning look, noticing how he was drifting to where the three sat. "izu... really, let's just go."
he kissed you again and your head was swimming. "i'll only be a minute, angel. go on." he pat your back and watched as you left the lobby. when he turned around his expression was completely different.
he walked over to the three people, who instantly straightened at his approach. they shared glances with each other, both a little scared and confused.
"hello." izuku smiled, but there was no indication that he was happy. "i'm deku, and you all are..?"
they meekly listed their names, to which izuku took mental notes and nodded.
"great. uhm, i overheard you talking about my s/o?" he cocked his head to the side. "please, i'd love to hear your thoughts." he chuckles. "i'm kinda obsessed with them, or whatever."
"o-oh..." they stutter and avoid his gaze, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "no, it was nothing, really."
"hmm? nothing?" izuku and his months of public appearance training only made him more intimidating when angry; the joyless smile he wore as annoyance bubbled through him was ten times worse then any outright show of anger. "are you sure?"
"yes! promise." one nods eagerly.
he laughs mirthlessly and the three weakly chuckled along, thinking they were out of trouble. leaning close to them, his voice dropped into a low hum. "i'd like to keep it that way, yeah? let's not make them sad just so you could feel like you have an opinion about something that does not concern you whatsoever."
the three held onto each other, eyes rounded with shock as they listened to the pro-hero before them.
izuku's head tilted ever-so-slightly. "well?"
they began to trip over each other with their agreement, yes, of course! we wouldn't dream of it. consider it done! whatever you say!
izuku flashed his famous smile. "glad we got that sorted out. and just so that we're crystal clear, if i—or anyone for that matter—catch you talking down on my s/o again..." he pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing in thought. "i'd hate to have to terminate your contracts... it's a lot of paperwork, you know?"
they shook their heads, bowing deeply to the pro-hero. "never again, sir!"
"great!" izuku chirped. "bye!"
[]
your leg bobbed nervously in the car, wondering what izuku was doing and if you should go in there and see for yourself. just as you were about to act, you saw his green hair bob over the cars beside you, eventually coming into view.
you exhaled in relief as he slipped into the driver's seat, sighing happily. he turned to stare at you, leaning dreamily over the steering wheel. you smiled, though your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"you're so pretty." he sighed.
"i—" you blinked, laughing. "thank you, baby."
"i'm so lucky to have you..." he continued, leaning over the compartment separating your seats.
you giggled, matching his energy. "mhmm."
he gave you a lopsided smile. "you deserve everything i have and more."
your face felt warm as you shy away from him, knowing why he was spouting all these affirmations. his fingers hooked under your chin, tilting your face. his hair brushed against your forehead as he captured your lips. he grinned at you when he pulled away, staring at you with such adoration.
"so..." you ignore your racing heart and try to regulate your breathing. "are you gonna tell me what happened?"
he squished your cheeks before turning back in his seat, starting the car. "nope!"
you smiled and rolled your eyes, uncertainties gone and doubt erased. in the end, you weren't ever bothered. and strangely, you never saw those three faces again.
© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3
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floydira · 10 months
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₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ
brozone, creek & king trollex with a reader going through a breakdown, overthinking and panicking and how they deal with them.
note ; I somehow(?) accidentally deleted the person's ask for this. I don't remember exactly what they asked word for word. (I'm down on my knees apologizing to you rn, I'm so sorry anon 🙏) so hopefully based on my memory this is at least close to what you asked for. I also hope this headcanon is to your liking.
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☆★﹒🎧 ﹐BROZONE
John Dory
erm. well. let's just say when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions, he's not really the best guy to depend on...
BUT considering he spent years by himself (and rhonda) with no other socialization, plus leaving his brothers behind and coming back to them after awhile out of conscious but seeing them nowhere to be found, he definitely felt lonely and HAD his own breakdowns before.
so he'd understand how you're feeling, or at least try to understand.
when he first saw you breaking down, his first instinct was to ask you questions "why are you breaking down?" "did something happen?"
if he doesn't get a reply from you, he'll respect your boundaries and not ask any further questions. he'll just focus on comforting you in the present, awkwardly patting your back and giving you words of affirmation that he thinks would work. like those motivational phrases or quotes online, maybe even those ones that facebook moms use.
if you do give a reply, he'll sit down next to you and hear you out. sipping a drink and lending his ears for you to vent. he'll keep quiet (internally, he's restraining himself from outing his own opinions on whatever you vented to him about).
In summary, he's a listener. If you let him voice his own opinions, he'll tell you his thoughts and views. more often than not, if he does give advice, it's probably best you don't actually follow them. I feel like he's bad at giving advice...
at least, he's got the spirit!
Spruce/Bruce
this troll has a wife and kids. I'm sure he's knowledgeable in comforting someone when they are breaking down or overthinks a lot.
if you're overthinking, he'll support you and keep you company but he's also honest that helps you actually evaluate your overthinking thoughts and not stress too much about them.
once you come to him looking vulnerable, he'll immediately try to soothe you by rubbing your back gently. yk like those back rubs that puts babies to sleep? yeah, he'll do that.
while he rubs your back, he urges you to take a deep breath and let it all out. so you do. unknowingly you ranted and ranted, every little detail spoken word to word. he just has that affect on people.
lets you know that what you're going through is valid.
once you're all done, he'll give you advice to ease you or if you're not looking for advice, he'll just comfort you until you feel better.
Clay
he literally is in a sad book club, he'll have the knowledge about it and how to deal with it. except...he's slightly bad at executing it.
he'll snap you out of overthinking by yelling positive stuff to you, that are actually...effective???
if you rant to him, he'll listen to you attentively and pat your head afterwards. it's just something natural that he does, honestly head pats are soothing ok.
if you're okay with physical touch, he'll caress your face while giving you actually reassuring words. (LIKE. have you SEEN him literally pinching and squishing branch's face when he first met him after 20 years?!) of course, it's effective, combined with his already nice vibe (I feel like he naturally has a healing presence, he's just a sweet little boring cutie)
his method of comforting you naturally makes you feel better. he doesn't have to try hard because just watching his body language and mannerisms are dorky enough that it'll make you smile. he's unknowingly comforting in a silly dorky way. even with how badly he persists to be a very "serious" guy.
he'll definitely give you a big warm hug after everything.
Floyd
he's literally called the sensitive one. out of the brothers, he's definitely the one who understands you the most.
I don't think I even need to explain, you already know how perfect he is with dealing with stuff like that. like the time he talked to veneer about how his sister treats him and how he shouldn't let her be like that to him.
his face is full of worry if he sees you in a vulnerable state.
he literally gives the best hugs, it's canon, I know it's canon.
this emo mf knows exactly the right words to get you out of your vulnerable state for a while (bc the phrases he gives to others are probably what he wants to hear given to him).
he'll be really patient with you and help you with every step along the way even if you're having a hard time changing your bad traits.
he's also attentive at listening, he'll caress your hands with his thumb with a reassuring smile.
he'll be really sweet at tackling your situation and never makes you feel overwhelmed.
will cry with you tbh.
he's kind of helping himself when he helps you, because he's similar in a way.
Branch
branch was quite the panicker himself during the times when bergens ate trolls.
so he'd also know how to help you deal with it because he understands you.
he had to figure it out himself and was mostly alone to deal with his own vulnerability so he's happy to help you.
he'll look calm, composed and collected externally but even he, himself is slightly panicking on the inside. afraid that he'll let you down or he won't be of much help. don't worry though, he has it all put together after a bit.
If you're panicking, he'll help you focus, calm down and ease your hyperventilation.
"concentrate on your breathing, okay?"
once you've calmed down, he'll provide you with reassuring words.
he'll keep you company and stay with you until you feel composed enough to talk about it with him. he'll lend you an ear.
afterwards, he pats you on the shoulder and gives you advice that worked on him before.
━━━━━━━━━━
Creek
as bad as he is, he's literally the best when it comes to relaxation. he has that zen-like wisdom, so he'll calm you down and help you relax if you're panicking or overthinking too much.
just like floyd, he also knows exactly what to say to reassure or cheer someone up.
he'll give you a more positive outlook on whatever happened to you so that you don't overthink it.
tbh his voice itself is enough to calm you down.
he encourages different methods and ways(that he knows of) to you that could help.
King Trollex
this sweet goober offers you all his emotional support.
he feels upset, if you're upset. he's all frowny when he sees you vulnerable.
"can I give you a hug?" ofc he asks for consent.
will hug you tightly (he thinks hugs are a remedy for everything, besides music), quiet sobs are heard as his face is smooshed against your chest. just like bruce, he'll also rub your back soothingly while hugging you.
Intertwines both of your hands and encourages you to put your thoughts into words so that he knows what's going on that head of yours that's overthinking a lot of stuff.
keeps eye contact with you as you rant to him.
"you can get through this." he'll say with his cute smile.
the most he can provide is listening and comfort. he wishes he could help you more.
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kalki-tarot · 8 months
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A conversation between you and your future spouse – timeless pac 💌
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Disclaimer : this reading is for entertainment purposes only and does not guarantee any possible outcomes. Tarot is not 100% correct all the times. Your life is in your hands and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions.
Pile one 💫
This situation seems like some third party is affecting your relationship. The third party can be anything from people to things to addictions etc. You assumed thay future spouse may have lied to you about something which caused a fight between you guys. Remember that fights are normal in a relationship. And can be resolved with proper communication and understanding.
Your fs : See, I'm too disappointed with this situation and i deeply regret it. But you see, it's not entirely my fault..
You : I'm completely heartbroken because of you
Your fs : I clearly left and ignored that woman when she approached me darling, I walked away! I don't even know that woman!
Your anger calms down when your fs explains themselves. And you feel relieved. You may have insecurities about your fs leaving you for some other woman, so you got angry.
You : You know that I'm scared of you leaving me alone for someone else
Your fs : I know that, and i will never leave you sweetheart! Do you get that!? Don't get insecure about anything. I'm always yours. You are my better half and you are the only one with whom i feel at home, at peace.
Your fs comforts you and tells you how much you mean to them and you need not worry about anything or anyone. They also hug you and rub your back for sometime. This situation may take place while you guys are on a trip or traveling somewhere.
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Pile two 💫
Wow, this conversation will take place when you are getting married or about to get married to your fs. You are happy and excited but you are also having racing thoughts and a restless heart. You are just feeling nervous about the whole thing, some of you guys actually suffer from overthinking and anxiety. And you are having intrusive thoughts at this moment.
Your fs : Hey honey ~ why are you standing there all alone? Come! Have fun with all our friends and relatives. Let's have a drink together ^^
You just stand there silent and say : Umh, I'm actually kinda scared.. to get married i guess..? This all seems to fast to me. I'm having intrusive thoughts, my mind is thinking of all the possibilities ahh! I'm getting frustrated... this feels like a big change for me. It's not that i don't want to get married with you it's just.. too fast for me!
Your fs : Hey hey hey! Calm down! I'm here for you. This may feel too fast but think of how joyful you were when we first decided to get married! It's a new beginning for both of us, i can understand you. You just need to relax. Don't worry about anything, I'll take the lead and do everything for you. You just take a deep breathe and calm yourself.
Your fs calms you down and assures you. You feel better when you hear them talk about taking care of you well. And you know from the deep corners of your heart that they will make a good spouse. Your anxiety feels relieved. And you are happy to have them in your life as a counterpart.
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Pile 03 💫
This conversation can happen when you are going through a tough time in regards of your career. You are struggling between work and deadlines. You are completely exhausted but you are still working hard. Even people in your workplace may not appreciate you enough and you feel disappointed with yourself.
Your fs : hey nerd ;) where your eyes lookin' at? Come let's have some fun, take a break would you? Let's go out somewhere shall we?
You : Can you please not disturb me? I'm doing something important rn. And I'm not going anywhere till i finish this !
You frown and continue with your work. Your fs notices that.
Your fs : what happened dear? Is everything alright ? Are you stressed about anything?
You : yes! I am! Anything to do with you?
Your fs : why are u getting mad sweetie? 😋
You : AHHAHASAHAH, I'm so f**king stressed about this damn work i have to do. no one even notices my hardwork and patience! I'm sick of this!
Your fs : I appreciate you, your family appreciates you and you should change your godamn job if it keeps you hurting all the time yk? You have so much money already you should start some business or smth.
You : You know what! You are absolutely correct. I should start something of my own.
Your fs motivated you to leave your toxic work environment and start something of your own.
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sxorpiomooon · 2 months
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How do they feel about you - pac reading
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Pile 1
Pile 1 I'm sorry, the first thing I noticed was that my eyes kept forcing themselves to shut down for some reason it's like when you are thinking about someone and you sort of force yourself not to that's the vibe. I feel as if this person feels like you are walking away from this connection. I want to tell you that you are very brave for making this decision as I can see how stressed you look. Pile 1 might be extremely exhausted I heard "it's time to go" and had a vision of a clock tickling a brown one very light or dark academia core I think it was 9 o clock? I heard "i let go off what no longer serves me". This person has a victim complex they still that they are the victim here, the one who was wronged they are refusing to see the truth it reminds me of the first thing I mentioned while writing this the eye thing. This person self sabotages things and then cries about it. It's like someone is crying with their eyes closed to everyone that they are tied with rope and can't move but they don't realise that they are never tied in the first place. OML im so mad😭😭😭 this person has placed everything in your power I'll tell you what this is the kind of man who would NEVER plan ANY dates or anything and will ALWAYS say "we'll see" etc I'm so mad this person refuses to put any efforts and wants you to do all the WORK and they might also Gaslight you oh my pile 1 you are doing right throw this son of. A bitch away this made me mad too. Also for those who need it, the flower that you guys choose is lotus and the reason why lotus is my favourite flavour is because even while being surrounded by mud, it never loses it's beauty and goodness. I hope you remember that<3
Pile 2
i like this whoever this person is they might be really forgetful air signs if you are asking about a man ooo he good looking might have good eyes but dark circles I'm seeing a dark blue tshirt and very dim yellow lights is this a party no idea a libra is involved anyways this might be a new connection or you guys might be starting a new cycle. Also the second thing I got and I forgot to include was that whenever this person remembers you they might do it in a very pleasant manner it's like a bunch of people talking about you and all a sudden they'll be like "ooooooo xyz? Oh yea they're good they're nice they're very nice i like them" that's the vibe I'm seeing whiskey??? This connection has alot of raw potential only slowly unleashing or revealing itself now, you have the power to take this connection wherever you want it go rn. There are endless possibilities. Apples keep playing in my head SOMEONE STPP IT. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I feel like either they feel like this or its both of your energy but there's something about childhood trauma here I keep hearing something shattering like plates or glasses broken family and disharmony is what I heard. And this person might also think that you might be a loner or someone who just really enjoys their own company I had a vision of painting? I guess this might also be interpreted as this was a connection with alot of potential but past trauma kinda ruined shit for the both of you and if that's the case I'm so sorry to my pile 2
Pile 3
Someone here might speak like singing as in even while saying normal sentences you might say it in a very melodious manner something about singing also had a vision of a takeaway as in the window and vibing alibi started playing YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT UUST HAPPENEDNNOTONCE BUT TWIECE OKAY MY RUMBLR CRASHED OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEN OPENED AND I WAS SVARWD THAT MY 3NTIRE READING WILL BE WASTED BUTBIT GOT RESTORED AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN BUT AGAIN IT WAS RESTORED. Anyways for some of you something might have happened in this connection that destroyed it as in there was so much hope and light which all ended up in darkness for some reason "all this rage was once love" came to my mind and a very nice warming instrumental played in my head. This is a pile for a very few of you, you might be asking for a past connection. I think there is hope however there's also a need to let go off your emotional baggage in order to continue to connection or for anything. This person also feels this way, that you might have walked away or both of you did because of the unreleased trauma. I hope everything works out in your favour pile 3 <3
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boydepartment · 11 months
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enhypen texts + scenario - when you ask them to call
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a/n: i am procrastinating on eng 102 hw. that’s not due until sunday but STILL. i just don’t wanna do it rn 🫶
warnings: cursing
MASTERLIST
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jungwon-
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when jungwon finally called and you answered you perked up...
"hey my baby! are you feeling any better? i know this cold has been messing with you..." his voice sounded worried. you sneezed and hummed softly. "i've been trying to get better so i can see you again, i dont wanna get you sick or anything!" you whined, you missed him dearly but you could not get him sick. especially with a comeback around the corner. "do you want to play a game or something? that always cheers you up!" you smiled at jungwon's kindness, "i'd really love that."
heeseung-
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when heeseung answered he set his phone up his phone at his desk so you could see him...
"hey my favorite person! i missed you..." heeseung mumbled as he clicked away at the computer. "i thought i asked you to stop playing league!" you teased him, joking of course. he started giggling and pushed up his glasses. "after this game, i'm in the middle and leaving would make me a shitty friend!" he was focused. you really didn't mind when he played games while you called him. you got to see the eye candy in front of you, and you got to listen to him talk to himself, cursing under his breath. so safe to say you were not complaining <3
jay-
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when you finally got a call it felt like a breath of fresh air to you...
"i am so stressed right now..." you leaned you head down on you pillow, you resorted to studying in bed. "i know my love, do you want to teach me what youre learning? i heard that can help..." he suggested, jay's voice was soft. you smiled to yourself, "i think that will help, but can you tell me about your day first?" "of course darling..."
jake-
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when jake finally answered you, you kicked your feet a little, not that he needed to know that...
"hiiiiii!" jake said, in his usual cheery tone, he was always happy to hear your voice, so you didnt answer, you hummed. "y/nnnnnnn!!!!! i want to hear your voice please!" he started acting overdramatic, whining, being loud, the whole thing. you started to laugh and snort. "that works for me too, your laugh is my second favorite noise!" your brows furrowed, "what the hell is your favorite?" "YOUR VOICE ITSELF?????" jake sounded offended, "I AM NOT SOME PERV? I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT!" you started laughing again, jake never failing to making your mood lighter.
sunghoon-
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you did not think sunghoon was actually sprinting, so when you answered the face time call and saw the phone looking like it was being thrown, you started laughing.
"AH! I AM FINALLY IN MY HOTEL ROOM!" you heard his door shut and saw him flop on the bed, "hi my love!" you were still giggling, "you didn't have to run!" "i did have to run! i missed you! and you missed me!" sunghoon spoke like it was the most simple thing on earth. "i love you." you spoke softly, sunghoon put his face in the blanket. mumbling out a weak, "i love you too."
sunoo-
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"NOW WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS FROM ME?!"
you jumped back from your phone, sunoo was LOUD. "i didnt want you to think i was clingy!" you cringed out. sunoo let out an appalled noise. "y/n l/n i love you more than anything in the world! do not be afraid to say you miss me! in fact i miss you ALL the time!" you heard him huff at the end, solidifying his statement in a very sunoo way. he never failed to make you smile. "okay okay! i miss you everyday too! now talk to me please!" you said in between laughs. "THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
riki-
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you read over his lasts texts trying to comprehend them until he called you
"you okay? you seemed mad." riki spoke, you head him rustle around a bit so you assumed that he was in bed, you were too. "no, i am just really tired of human interaction right now." riki chuckled slightly, "that's ironic." "shut up i thought we already established you are something else." you spoke quickly and defensively, this made him laugh and accidentally drop his phone. "FUCK!" you started laughing, "what the hell just happened!?" you didn't know this, but the fact riki made you laugh by purposely dropping his phone made his heart warm. you also didn't need to know that risking shattering his phone was on purpose either just to hear you laugh again. "I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY PHONE AND I CANT FIND IT BECAUSE IT IS DARK IN MY ROOM!"
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star1ight0 · 5 months
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Katsuki Bakugou x Reader "could've said something"
Guess what! I have issues and crave comfort so HERE WE ARE AGAIN. (It's 11:48pm as of rn send help) (Just finished it's 1am and I fell asleep halfway through)
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Your quirk: Light manipulation. You can move and summon light, light bending, summoning balls of light ranging from small particles to large masses
Bakugou was always a.. scary kid to say the least. You two grew up together and he had a soft spot for you to say the least. When you got your quirk it was a lot to say the least between shining light in your faces and burning holes places. Eventually you got the hang of it. It did however make you wary of when and how you used it. Katsuki on the other hand seemed to get how to use and control his right away. The two of you trained together and Katsuki taught you how to make explosions with the light you could summon. The 2nd year of middle school you had to move because of your moms job and as much as he made it seem like he didn't care he made a point to ask you to keep in touch.
It was the second semester of classes yet you were just now starting UA high, class 1-A. Your mom had decided that because it was a little too far you'd move into your old house and she'd find work elsewhere, UA was a top school how could you say no to that argument? Late transfers and acceptance was rare enough for a top school. But it also meant you get to see him again. You thought about calling him and telling him but you thought it'd be better to wait till you saw him in person, you were next door now.
Most of your stuff was in your dorm by now, having the first day before settling in was a true blessing.
It was starting to get dark and the stress of it all was starting to hit you, thinking of how much you had to catch up being in 1-A and all. You made your way up the stairs finding the roof door. Making your up you got a text:
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Kat: Hey. You busy?
You: Never am
K: got a new person in the dorm next to me, if they are loud I swear I'll end them
Y: I'm sure you'll be fine, don't kill anyone please.
K: Not that I care, but you've been radio silence for a few days
Y: I think if you have to say you don't care you do. Sooo talk to me when you can process your emotions then maybe I'll talk about mine
Love you.
K: whatever
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"Everyone this is Y/N L/N, now be nice and be on time tomorrow" he said quickly walking away right after, a few people walked toward you to ask questions when they are all promptly showed away by the blond hot head. "The hell?! What the fuck were you just not gonna-" he was cut off by a hug. As he was debating on hugging you back you hear a girl's voice "GUYS THE NEW PERSON JUST HUGGED BAKUGOU!" the crowd of people grew and you felt a hand grab your wrist pulling you away. They all clump together continuing the conversation. You take the lead pulling him up the stairs onto the roof.
If anyone else had even remotely talked to him that way you were sure they'd be dust. But you cared about you too much to even yell at you unreasonably. Now at the top staring up at the cloudy dark sky you sigh mumbling to yourself "guess I'll make my own stars" you lied down on the roof making small glimmers of light float into the sky.
Not sure of how long you'd been out you looked at the time on your phone, bolting up at the time. Your new teacher Aizawa had instructed you to be in the common room by 7:30pm to introduce you avoiding using class time for it. It was 7:28. You bolt down the stars finding a room for people sitting with their teacher. You stand next to him with an apologetic face. You look around looking for something to focus on when your eyes land on blond hair and a familiar angry tone.
"Hi, I go here now. " You said with a smug look on your face you summon a little ball holding it for light between you. "Still gonna kill me if I'm loud?" You say in a teasing tone. You look up at him seeing a light pink on his cheeks. "I thought.. I wouldn't get a chance to see you again after I got kidnapped and everything. The least you could've done was say you were in town" he says a shift in his voice and body language making him self more guarded. "sorry I wanted to surprise you" you say wrapping your hand around his.
"I- I know we only ever all and text but I've missed you and being around you. A lot. "
"i missed you too. Ass hole."
"you love me"
He flinches at the words spoken feeling his grip tighten on your hand. Pulling you into a hug.
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mariii1 · 11 months
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♡YOUR NEXT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP♡
(These piles are hella long, a lot came thru, this is open to everyone including ace/aro peeps 🤗 got this idea from FairySagMother on yt <3)
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☆ Piles start from top left with pile 1 ☆
YALL messages came throughh, I made a good choice buying this new oracle deck. ALSO the theme card of this reading is the waterfall card because it was in FIVE of the six piles 😭. The oracke deck is Herbiary by Maia Toll if you wanna buy it 😜. I definitely won't be super active in the next 6 months tbh because I'm incredibly stressed out and a lot is happening especially with my physical health, just a heads up...ALSO THANK YOU FOR 777 FOLLOWERS 😘 FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸
1. If you felt like people in the past were very selfish in relationships including your parents, this person is the opposite. They don't have you around just cause they want your attention, they genuinely care about your feelings and interests. You'll actually be able to connect with this person without feeling like things need to be transactional. If you feel you struggle with this concept especially if you have a low self esteem, working it out will bring this relationship in much faster. There's also no rush, no lovebombing and then ghosting, or trying to get you to commit quickly. This person seems very reassured within themselves and they expect you to not abruptly ghost/leave them without communicating why. I'm listening to Sociopathic Dance Queen and Feel Complete (by Pink Panthress); this person is the opposite of the antagonists in these songs. I hate being really woo woo but everything will happen as it should within this relationship. Your lives might be a mess but this relationship might be the only stable/secure thing when you get into it. I'm mostly getting romantic vibes but this could be platonic as well, although it will most likely start as a friendship and progress.
2. The cards were flying out so you either have a lot happening in your life rn and I'm getting for most of you, several healthy relationships will come in at the same time. If you're monogamous, you'll have several healthy options to choose from; if not, get ready to be to busy. You'll at least have a really good friend. I'm getting that with all of these people you are able to be vulnerable and specifically you're able to share interests especially if they're niche. Many or most of these relationships will last for a long time even if you do walk away from them at some point. If you're spiritual or religious your either going to meet someone who challenges your religious beliefs, particularly those that are restrictive or oppressive. They are not an atheist, they could actually be in the same religion as you but the are more self-assured and self-sufficient. If you're someone who often relies on the universe or a higher power to do things for you or to make them come your way, this person is going to force you out of that mindset. I'm specifically getting this will happen because you don't want to lose them and you'll see this mindset isn't actually working for you. They let you know it's ok to chase sometimes, especially when it comes to your own personal goals. This is specifically coming from that longterm friend I was getting at the beginning. I'm not really getting romance still, so love might be on the backburner for awhile.
3. I'm strongly getting this is a healthy s€xua1 relationship. It's not even a situationship tbh; you could be learning from a dominatrix or shibari master or maybe you pay to have that experience one day. I'm getting this might sound outlandish for some of you but a few of you are from pile 2 and this might come randomly or you might decide to do it on a whim. This person is very attractive and they take their job or interest seriously. They genuinely want you to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself. Especially if you are a s£x worker, this is someone you go out of your way to see orrr it's a new romantic partner. The emphasis may still be on s€x especially if you do OF, they'll probably help out, but they actually still have a personality and you can get along with them. I'm specifically getting a femme woman, or someone just who's afab but not super masculine. They are very sweet and attentive during play and have good aftercare. If this person does something you don't like, they'll listen to you without complaint. Even if this is a man, they are genuinely experienced and not weirdly misogynistic or abusive in any way. Boundaries are realllyy important to this person. They're just really good at creating a safe space.
4. Money, Money, Money by ABBA came up; this person will most definitely take care of you financially even if they are just a friend. I'm actually getting for some you, your get to get someone from a species that almost extinct: a man who treats you and is perfectly fine with just being friends NO S£X OR NUN in return🤯 this might make you attracted romantically to this person but I'm getting they could actually be married (they could be gay or queer in some way too) or they're just not interested in your romantically/sexually and just want to be besties. If you have anyyy health issues including paying medical bills they will help you out without a second thought. Some of you might unfortunately be in a situation where you get very hurt, like a car accident or sum, and this person is the first to visit you. They view as someone self-sufficient and extremely independent so they never get scared that you'll start to rely on them or leech off of them. Both of your goals and morals align especially if you have alternative politics (not conservative but extreme left, marxism, socialism, anarchism, etc.) and you'll be able to talk and debate without feeling like your friendship will fall apart. If this is someone that is romantically attracted to your gender, I really don't think they'll entertain the idea of dating you and even dating in general until much later in your friendship.
5. Right off the bat your most probably going tobget married if not, you'll be roommates for a very long time. This could honestly be a QPP for few of you, the rest I'll think you'll have a family with this person if you're interested. Even if you know for sure you don't want to get married, you will treat this person as if they are your spouse. You might've felt drained at the idea of a family or maybe yours and other ppl's was very chaotic to be in, but you'll genuinely feel like you can do it with this person without it being a risk for getting retraumatized. You might travel a lot with this person or live in a very nature filled area. I'm not getting much so I guess you don't really need to know more and I'm really getting this will be a surprise anyway, even at each stage of the relationship, you never expected to feel so emotionally secure with someone else constantly on your mind.
6. You might be connected to pile 4 or drawn to it. This is someone very new, as in you've never met anyone like them before. They either have a very unique appearance they put effort in or they really surpsie you with how deep they're personality and thoughts are. I'm getting for a lot of you, you might think this person is probably just annoying middle-aged person (😭) specifically man but then your talk and you're like woahh I was not expecting that. Their voice might not fit they're appearance either; they could have an extremely deep voice but be average height in whichever country they're from or their voices are quite animated even though their appearance might make them look gloomly or uninteresting (damn you guys are flaming this person during your first impression of them 😭😭) They point out a lot of things you don't notice or just know random facts that are helpful. They could even be a polyglot and travel a lot. However, this person is very stable in they're life, they feel ok at they're job or have a very specific idea of what they want to do with their career. If you end up working together, they are much more helpful than you anticipated. I'm getting for a lot you they aren't nice or super polite but they are very kind and generous. Like they don't smile much but ask them a question and you'll get a succinct answer. (Ughh this is my type 😩) They're very real and I love people like this cause they are genuine in wanting to help you and you don't have to constantly decipher they're words especially in a corporate context. There will definitely be an age gap and possible height gap. They could be almost 10 yrs older than you but you somehow have a lot in common although they are definitely not immature. I don't think they dated a lot or they had one really long relationship that they got out of when they met you.
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haveateadude · 4 months
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bleak horizons iii.
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summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ opening up it's not easy, isn't it?
warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm mention, and disordered eating (not explicitly mentioned but you can clearly see it's there)
author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ helloooo welcome to part 3!!!!!! i think this might be the last part (if u have an idea on how this can continue feel free to tell me. u can send a request or just leave the idea in the comments). also just saying, this stuff is based on MY issues and experiences with mental health, so this might not be truthful to everyone. my insta is @/starsfinder_ if anyone wants to vent or just talk :))
remember you're not alone if you're going through a shitty moment, trust me!! ik everyone says to ask for help, and even if that's soo fucking true i know some people are not listened (even if that's literally a fucking RIGHT). so, as i said, you can dm me <33 take care of yourselves pleaseee. can't stress enough how much i want y'all to know you're not alone. hi. hello. i care!!!!!!!! and i'm here!!!!!! so please listen to me when i say everything's going to be alright :)) i love youuuuuu
also, sorry for any mistakes. i'm sooo tired rn lmao
pt1 — pt2 — pt3
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I told you a lie, désolé, mon amour
I'm trying my best, don't know what's in store
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The next week, I stepped out of therapy crying. I got into the car, slamming the door.
“Hey,” Ellie says softly, looking at me with her hands resting on the wheel, her gaze full of worry. “You okay?”
“Drive.”
“But—”
“Just drive.”
“Okay.”
Ellie starts driving. I wipe my tears, feeling overwhelmed. My mother had called yesterday and made me feel like shit. I wasn't doing my best at school. Ellie and I hadn't gone out since Christmas. So basically, everything was shit. I've also had urges to relapse, and they're just not going away.
I cry. Ellie drives. This is okay. It's okay. Except that it's not, and I haven't told my therapist anything about myself yet. My mother hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and my father sent a cat video on WhatsApp this morning. And Ellie’s knuckles are turning white from how hard she’s gripping the wheel, which makes my heart ache because I know she cares. It makes me want to tell her everything, but the words are stuck in my throat, and I can't seem to get them out.
We arrive at the apartment a couple of minutes later. Ellie doesn’t immediately open the doors, and I've calmed down enough to answer when she asks, “Baby? Are you feeling okay?”
I nod, looking away. The people that I see walking around look sad.
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay if you’re not, though,” she says. I stay quiet, doubting it. Ellie nudges me with her elbow, looking for an answer. “Hey.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I know.”
Ellie pats me on the thigh before getting out of the car. I get out, too. I don't bother eating dinner that night; I just go straight to bed and fall asleep.
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The next few days felt monotonous. I've fallen back into my sadness, the type that isn't bitter but sweet. It doesn't make me want to relapse. It makes me want to stay in bed more hours than I'd like, takes my appetite away, and leaves me feeling nothing but numbness.
I wake up, go to work, study, attend uni, come home, and sleep. The cycle repeats and repeats, and I'm so, so very tired.
Today, I took the day off. I knew I was too tired to do anything, so I planned to rot in bed. Ellie knocks on the door, but I don't answer. I hear the door creak open and the light from the living room creeping in.
"Hey," Ellie says, her voice coming from behind me. "Mind if I lay next to you?"
"It's fine," I say with a hoarse voice. I feel the bed sink at my side, and then Ellie is behind me, wrapping her arm around my torso and nuzzling her face into my neck, leaving a kiss right there. I feel cozy and comfortable. I don't know if this will last. I hope it does because it's a feeling I've never experienced before—someone comforting me? That has never happened.
"Do you want to talk about what's going on?" she asks. I stay quiet. "I care about you. I'm worried."
I do want to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't.
"I'm fine."
"You always say that… You haven't gotten out of bed since you came from work, and the frozen lasagna you were going to make for yourself last weekend has been in the fridge since then." She stays quiet for a second, her fingertips caressing my arm. "You're not doing fine, baby."
Millions of thoughts go through my head. Thoughts I don't say. I don't want her to leave; I don't want her to see how I feel.
"I'm trying, though." It's easy to say since Ellie isn't looking at my face directly. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I blink them away; I blink, blink, and blink again. Fast.
Ellie stays quiet, her breath tickling my neck. She kisses the back of my head again, her hand holding mine. I hold it to my chest. "I know. But you don't have to be alone in this."
That hits me like a truck. I wasn't expecting to be held by her, let alone her saying I don't have to be alone. A tear falls from my eye, landing on the pillow. I sniff, and Ellie holds me tighter, not saying anything. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with her free hand and kisses my temple.
"I'm sorry," I say, in a moment of pathetic weakness. She hugs me even closer.
"Hey, no. Don't apologize. C'mon, turn around."
I let go of her hand, turning around. Her left hand cups my face and she kisses my cheek, then my forehead, and then she kisses the tears that fall on my cheeks. When she pulls away, she gives me a small smile, "You're going to be okay."
She doesn't want you. She's your friend; she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think, she'll leave.
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I wake up on Ellie's chest, it feels good to be comforted, I've found. Her phone is on the nightstand, so I just reach it and look at the time. It's eight o'clock. I've fallen asleep for two hours. I try to make myself more comfortable on her chest, attempting not to wake her, but my movements fail and she stirs.
"Hey," she says, her voice still laced with sleep. "What time is it?"
"It's still night," I say, closing my eyes. "We slept for two hours.'
"Feeling better?" I feel comfortable enough to shake my head. "Do you want to talk about it? I told you, I'm worried. And don't bullshit me with the whole 'I'm fine' shit, yeah?"
I stay quiet as her thumb caresses my back, "Did I tell you why I'm going to therapy?" Ellie shakes her head. "Well—back home I had some… issues. Mental health stuff related. I kept going back to depressive episodes. And one day I just asked for help from my mom, because I—I just couldn't stop self harming."
"Baby," Ellie says, hugging me tighter and kissing the top of my head. "What happened? Did your mother react well?"
"Yeah. Surprisingly. I got help. Got better. Sometimes it comes back, and I still get urges sometimes, but I can control it. It isn't as bad as it was before. But lately, it's just—yeah."
"You don't do that anymore, do you?" She asks, worried.
"No," I shake my head. "Not anymore."
"And what about the urges, do you still get them?" I nod, slowly. Ellie plays with my hair. "And therapy? Is it helping?"
"I haven't told her anything, yet. I—I don't know, I can't talk about it."
"What if I go to the next session? If you're okay with that, of course. If you still don't feel comfortable we can look for another therapist or another way to get you help."
I hide my face in her chest when she says the last word. I don't know why I've been refusing to get help. I don't know why I don't like that word. I sigh as Ellie stops playing with my hair and begins rubbing my back.
"I think—I think I would like it if you go with me."
"Okay. Okay, then. I'll go." The room falls to silence again for a few seconds. I feel ashamed for telling her. "I'm sorry you have to go through this… I wish I could do more."
"You're doing more than enough," I assure her. It's my time to hug her tighter. "You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this."
"Yeah?" She seems surprised. "I'm glad you talked to me. I'm here for you if you need anything—I mean it. You just have to tell me, I will listen… You could've told me sooner."
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't apologize. I’m just saying, I'm here for you. I've been there for you, always. And… is there something I can do to help?"
"Just be there," I say. "That's enough."
"Mhm, I'll stay."
I think she wants you, a little voice in my head says. I think she loves you, and I don't think she'll ever leave.
Maybe I'll be okay, after all.
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