#I'm so sorry this is so long and pointless
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hard to not come off anti-intellectual sometimes when people on the internet hurt my brain damaged dropout feelings
#kal.dir#i don't actually think being smart is Super Extremely Important For Everyone but like so many ppl take that to be like#oh well it's STUPID and POINTLESS to try to get smarter haha. kind of thing.#i don't think i'm articulating my point very well but luckily it's about time where i can reasonably lay down#liiiiike idk man. people are so mean to people who are not and cannot be intelligent. and i know that like#idk people are just shit. they're just shit.#like sorry but intellect isn't everything. saying stupid people shouldn't be allowed to have children is. literally eugenics#but of course so many people are fine with eugenics as long as you don't call it that 🤷♂️ and even sometimes when you do
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video called "pirate shirt tutorial that actually makes sense" with a thumbnail clickbaitingly copying bernadette banner's style, which does the exact same thing as bernadette banner's video but more confusingly and without a diagram in the video itself, also failing to understand that bernadette banner's channel is primarily a history channel and not a sewing tutorial channel so telling people they don't have to hand-sew the pirate shirt or they don't have to thread-pull is unnecessary because bernadette banner literally said "do this however you want, i just do it this way because it's how i learn about historical dress practices" in her own video. couldn't ask for better youtube entertainment
#source: i'm an idiot and i've made two of bernadette's pirate shirts and they're fantastic#understanding that her diagram is not a pattern but a guideline on how to make your own pattern#is like. not that hard to get. she gave her measurements and then explained how to get your own#to be fair!! everyone learns differently! there are many comments saying that this other video made sense and helped them#which is absolutely fair and good. more knowledge is never a bad thing#it's just the presentation of this other video that i find so funny#'yes i CAN explain how to make a historically accurate men's shirt better than the actual historical dress historian'#[footage not found]#just the way of explaining the shoulder seams...........so much more confusing than bernadette's diagram#also calling the reinforcement patches on the neck/cuff splits??? useless/pointless??????#sorry i want my garments to not fall apart because i can't afford really nice fabric lmao i will be reinforcing those points. thanks tho#also 'no one is talking about neck gussets i couldn't find any info' HUH ???#i just want to know if they looked anywhere besides youtube because there are absolutely people talking abt neck gussets#i should not be such a bitch about this. it's not that big a deal. again in the end: more people sharing knowledge is Good#but my friend!!! come on now!!!!#aster chat#ah fuck lads i want to make another poet shirt because that's exactly what i need going into what i'm sure will be a blazing summer#another long sleeved shirt with three yards of fabric to smother myself in#that do Not go with any of my work appropriate trousers
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OUGH ALRIGHT magni backstory ramble time under the cut. was putting this off just in case i wanted to make changes but now i'm committed.
and later im not going to be able to stop myself from rambling abt his companion connections at length so i'm dropping this here as the starting point to keep me CONSISTENT.
refers to mild act 2 spoilers because I need to be a little bit unhinged about things. currently in act 3, but i'm saving that for later because there is so much happening. anyway

bullet point backstory bc it's 11 pm. what up.
used to be a priest(ess) of lolth. raised among devout lolth-sworn, which of course gives him baggage he doesn't even realize exists until like halfway through the game.
'i had a normal childhood' - guy who very much did not have a normal childhood. am i projecting my religious trauma here. who can say
very committed. basically used serving lolth as an elaborate excuse to get away with whatever selfish whims popped into his head
worked alongside two other, equally terrible priestesses under the mutual understanding that they were only 'allies' until they could stab each other in the back
last one standing is loth's fav. you know how it is
did in fact get stabbed in the back when one of them uncovered a secret of his and used it to oust him
fully accepted he was going to get sacrificed to lolth. was pretty chill with it, actually. as far as he was concerned it only made sense.
the priestess who ousted him decided it would be meaner to banish him to the surface instead
she was correct.
became SO INCENSED at being told he was not a worthy sacrifice that it became ALL he cared about
like. he refused to wrap his brain around it, so he just went 'fine, i will claw my way up from the dirt and eat bugs or whatever and i WILL become so fucking impressive that when i come back DOWN here you will HAVE to sacrifice me. that's how good i'll be.
'also maybe i'll trans my gender while i'm at it bc at this point I Have Nothing To Lose'
lost ability to use magic in the middle of this and just refused to think about the 'god abandoned me' implications
knew nothing about the surface. broke into places, stole, and murdered to survive. discovered life was easier if you got good at lying, just in case you got caught stealing. and he was already Very good at lying.
once he got it all figured out, he fell into organized crime VERY easily, while still secretly holding onto his General Disdain for everyone around him. this was not hard to do. people are shitty to you when you're a drow.
spent a couple decades fighting, stealing, and occasionally murdering if you paid him or annoyed him enough. mentally tucks away all of the crimes he does as 'for lolth' even though he's lowkey aware that's not how that works. there's a bunch of complicated stuff going on in his brain up there and he is avoiding all of it.
basically he starts the game an expert manipulator who FULLY expects to just eventually murder these people he keeps picking up because it Has to be that way, except thru act 1 he. doesn't. and then he starts to get used to them. enough that at camp he starts to drop his Eternal Performance, which everyone initially writes off as 'magni being weirdly dismissive and blunt for some reason' until late act 1 when they realize 'oh wait. that's what he's REALLY LIKE. he was LYING.'
his feelings towards the companions and himself and his goals get incredibly complicated. sometimes he sucks. sometimes he doesn't. gale makes him ask himself questions he does not want to know the answer to, but he can't just let it GO now that he's asking them. the people around him are trusting him with their deepest secrets and desires and it is FREAKING HIM OUT because he doesn't know how to do anything with secrets except destroy. so he drops the act further thru act 2. except they're still doing it. because they know what he's like by now. and they know that sometimes! he refrains from doing the mean selfish thing! because they wouldn't like it! and he hates that he feels that way and is occasionally halfheartedly mean and petty later like it's going to make the uncomfortable taste in his mouth go away but he is forming attachments to these people and there is NOTHING he can do about that
anyway. i'm going to shake my laptop later re: gale being asked to Explode by his god and how it forces magni to look literally his Only Driving Goal For Decades (getting eaten by spiders) in the face and ask himself if that's really what he wanted, but i'm in full hyperfixation mode. also he just rly loves astarion. he can't say that word though. feels wrong in his mouth
it's also put him in the weird act 3 spot of being the person who has already ASKED himself the hard questions that everyone else is now asking. he is, for the first time ever, somewhat the reasonable one. which means he's gotta accept he thinks differently about things than he used to. which he doesn't like. but he's embraced the softness, he just doesn't want you to mention it.
and sometimes he just goes and stands in a cold lake at 1 am so he doesn't have to think about anything. you know how it goes
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#I've been drawing random things all morning#bc our teacher asked for a tattoo design for our next lesson#and like????#suddenly i can't think concepts or decide on a subject#it's amazing how my mind will come up with things all the time#until I'm specifically asked to come up with something ANYTHING and my mind gets empty#at least I'm drawing and using my sketchbook#i hadn't really touched it in so long#i think it's bc i no longer like the paper but also bc time#anyway I'm gonna try to digitally clean my sketches now#this post was pointless i know#I'm sorry if you read it all
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hi!! i love your fics theyre highkey my fav rereads🤭idk if youre taking requests but if you were, could you possibly do a hurt/comfort fic with toji and shy reader where shes mad/upset with him? hope youre having a great day btw!
A/N: Five years later... 👍 I'm sorry this took so long. I really, really appreciate your support 🫶 I hope this turned out at least okay, it's been a minute since i've finished any writing 🥲 Anyway, I hope you're having an amazing day :))
Thank you for sending in this request 💙
Toji and His Shy Girl
It's been a week since you and Toji have spoken, not for lack of effort or opportunities, but because the one sided attempts are not corresponded. It's hard to think about him, it's hard to read his words through your screen and see his name flash briefly, before your phone does its job of sending him to voicemail.
'Maybe we shouldn't be together, Toji. If me simply trying to talk to you is such a burden... I don't know if I should keep trying.'
You said this to him a week ago. You clicked the door shut and he sped off in his car, bleary-eyed, brimming with rage and regret the whole way home. He couldn't get the sound of your voice out of his head—the cracks, the occasional sharp inhales that came with your suppressed emotions. Even in the moment, he knew it was so, so wrong for you to be looking the way you did.
The instant he got home, all hell broke loose. His fists were clenched as he treaded towards his bedroom, and as if possessed by the force of a natural disaster, he tore apart his room—demolished it—throwing things blindly, uncaring if they broke beyond repair. The picture he keeps on his nightstand of the two of you was not safe. The encased memory was thrown with all the strength he has, at the wall, the frame instantly falling apart and the glass shattering to pieces.
He couldn't stop, it all hurt so much. His chest burned, his head was pounding, he felt like he couldn't breathe, and once there was nothing left to throw, nothing left to break, he finally broke down—wholly. Harsh, uncontrollable sobs racked his entire body as he sat there in the debris—the aftermath of losing his mind over you. Barely any sound came of it, his voice was shot, courtesy of the tormented screams that accompanied his meltdown.
This all happened a week ago. You won't talk to him and these days have been hell without your company. You won't respond to his good morning messages, and if he asks to meet up, you always have something to do. He calls you whenever he can, but you don't pick up. You're avoiding him like it's your job.
Everything feels pointless without you around, his little sunshine, the reason he wakes up motivated every morning, the light of his life. His routine has been altered in the worst way. It's work, home, work, home, and he absolutely detests it because if it weren't for that damned day, he would be with you, smothering you with the borderline overwhelming love he holds for you, making you laugh and watching you get flustered over the words he whispers in your ear. He wants it back—all of it. He can't let you go, it would break him entirely.
You don't want to let go of this love you have for Toji, either. You miss being in the warmth of his embrace, and you miss the sound of his voice, and the way he calls you 'sweetheart' when you're not focusing on him. You see every single one of the messages he sends you and the phone calls.
Good morning, baby.
Morning, sweetheart. Make sure to eat breakfast and lunch. One meal isn't enough.
Saw those fields of flowers you point at all the time on my way home. I miss you.
Baby, will you talk to me, please?
[Missed Call]
And you cry, because all you want to do is respond to every one of those messages and hear his voice again, but something always stops you. The memory of when he snapped at you. The sound of his voice—cutting and utterly spirit crushing. The furrow of his eyebrows that made you feel like everything you did was wrong. It hurts to think about the whole situation, and all these notifications only serve as reminders. Reminders of the way you immediately wilted when the door shut, chest heaving as you cried your way to bed and then to sleep, wondering what you did to deserve being lashed out at.
You're lying in bed, scrolling through your phone when he calls again. The instant you see his contact picture, your heart plummets to your stomach, but an irrepressible giggle escapes you. The picture on your screen... it's kind of blurry because he was chasing you and you were laughing so hard that you couldn't hold the phone steady, but you love it. You love the man in the picture, you love that he can make you smile through memories, even during tough times.
"Baby?" You hear through the speakers of your phone. A lump immediately forms in your throat and you painfully swallow. "Baby, can you hear me?" He tries again.
"Yeah, I'm here," you respond, quietly.
"Holy fuck, doll. Can I... Are you busy? Are you doing anything right now?"
"No, i'm home," you mumble.
"Can I come see you?"
"Toji..." you start, your tone conveying what you haven't even said yet. Your uncertainty.
"Baby, we have to talk. It's been a week and-- This can't be it. Please, just... just five minutes. Five minutes and i'll go."
You know it won't be five minutes. You can't force a solution out in five minutes—not a sincere one at least. Some part of you is soothed by the sound of his voice, regardless of how frantic and desperate he sounds. That's your love right there, and no matter how much hurt lingers from this whole dilemma, there's nothing you can do about your heart's response to him. So you open a door for him.
"Okay, Toji. I'll be here waiting for you."
"Thank you, pretty girl. I'll be there in a few. Love you."
There's a heavy, tense pause. Neither of you has hung up the phone, because something hasn't been done yet and he knows you know what he wants to hear. It would be enough for him to believe that you haven't forfeited. It would make him feel even the slightest bit of relief if you said those words he's been aching for.
"I love you, too, Toji," you utter, hanging up a couple seconds after.
Toji would be bouncing off the walls if he wasn't in such a hurry to get to you. He's been deprived of any form of love from you for a week and he was starting to go crazy, but hearing you say those words was all he needed for now.
Twenty something minutes later, you get a text from him, letting you know that he's outside. Your heart is in your throat, your stomach keeps flipping, and yet you use all the strength you have to get out of bed to meet him. Though you decide to take your time to get to your front door, you find that you're still there too soon, no time left to mentally prepare yourself for what is about to happen. With a final deep breath, you turn the lock, twist the doorknob, and open the door.
There Toji stands, hand suspended in the air with your spare key pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He steps back instinctively when you step aside from behind the door.
"I uh... I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with me using it, but you were taking a bit, so I thought maybe you'd want me to come in and we can talk inside or... I don't know."
He's rambling, there's a light stubble on his face, he's smiling at you like he always does—like you're his everything. Him being there doesn't actually process in your mind until he speaks up again.
"Hi, baby," he says, softly, observing you like you're some majestic painting hung up in a museum. Your eyes well up and it feels like there's a red-hot metal sphere lodged in your throat. "You're a saint for letting me come here and see you, you know that?"
Out of habit, you nod and mumble out a small, "yeah."
"I'm sorry, doll," he says, reaching for your hands to hold them. He barely manages to grab them, get a feel for your soft skin after so long, before you're pulling them away from him. "No, come on," he pleads, grasping your hands again. "Please? Please, look at me."
"You can't talk to me like that, Toji," you utter, voice unsteady because you're not used to having to stand up for yourself against the one who loves you like it's his life source.
"I know. I know that, baby, and I'm so fucking sorry," he says, nearly tripping over his words. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of the shit I said. I was having a bad day, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I don't know what the hell got into me, but please..." he mumbles, bringing your hands up to his lips, pressing weightless kisses on your fingers and knuckles. "Please, I love you, you have to believe me."
"You said..." you inhale sharply, doing all you can to get through this without choking on your emotions. "...you said you didn't have time to listen to me talk about nonsense, and that you wanted peace and quiet for once. Isn't... Isn't that all you get from me?"
"No tears," he says, warm palms moving up to cup your cheeks, thumbs brushing away the crystals that glide down them. "No tears," he repeats, softer this time. "This is gonna get worked out, my sweet girl. I swear."
"I don't know how you want me to be," you admit, your voice wavering. "And I don't have the ability to read minds. You acted like everything was fine when you texted me, and then when you got here..." You let out a shaky breath, your hold on your emotions slipping. "I don't want to be upset with you, anymore, but i-i'm trying... It's not right."
It's as if someone is jabbing at his chest over and over again, relentlessly, even when his skin starts to bruise and little pinpricks of blood begin to appear. He hates seeing you this way, especially when he knows he's the reason for why you're hurt this bad. He wants it to stop and for this enormous raincloud above both of you to just dissipate.
"Come here," he says, low, almost inaudible. His hands lower, arms making contact with your sides. It's been too long since he's held you, yet, pulling you in feels as natural as breathing.
Your hands come up to rest on his abdomen, keeping him at a distance. It feels unnatural, because you're so used to letting him handle you like you're a stuffed animal, pulling you around when you're adventuring together and picking you up just because he feels like it. Your mind immediately clouds with guilt at your denial of his embrace, you can't even meet his eyes, opting to look down at where your hands are.
"Please don't," he says, his voice so soft that it makes your chest feel tight again. He grabs ahold of your wrists, just to have some sort of contact with you. His grip is almost entirely loose and you're in control, he won't move until you pull your hands away. "I'm not gonna hurt you like that again."
You love him and you know he needs this—holding you in his arms, your confirmation that it's all going to be okay. You've said it before and the words have become one of his greatest comforts. What could be so bad when you tell him that it'll all turn out just fine?
"We've been apart for too long. A week shouldn't have gone by like this... and, fuck, I know it's my fault. I don't blame you for not wanting to see me, but... please, baby." His thumbs brush the insides of your wrists, eyes never leaving the sadness of your face, regardless of whether you look at him or not. He'll take this over not getting to see you at all, any day.
"Sweetheart."
You sniff, unmoving for a few more seconds. Your heartbeat is thrumming wildly in your ears, almost suffocating you with its relentlessness. It's all you hear, words lost in a spiral of ongoing silence. You still don't look at him when you finally pull your hands away, but you can feel his heavy, unwavering attention on you.
You're glad he doesn't wait for you to give him the green light to pull you in, because you have nothing to say at the moment, and it would be another test of patience. Instead, the second your hands are balled up at your sides, he moves at the speed of a lightning strike, your body colliding with his in an almost aggressive manner—there's an audible thump. His body heat mingles with the cologne on his shirt, the smell coiling around you and rushing through your nose with every breath you take. The feeling is familiar—love, safety, comfort—a second home, all wrapped up in your favorite person.
His hands scrunch up the back of your shirt like he's afraid you'll push him away again. "Baby," he mumbles, his voice almost inaudible. "Don't disappear like that again." A soft breath is expelled from his chest, riddled with the genuine fear he felt that he would never get to see you again.
"I know it's unfair of me to say this. I was an asshole and you were hurt, but, doll... I thought you were leaving me." There's a pause. Toji stares at the ground behind you, his hands deepening the creases he made on your shirt due to his unfaltering grip. "I don't want that."
"I'm not," you respond, heart shaking. "That day... it felt like you didn't even want to see me and you only came over because I asked not because you wanted to." The familiar ache in your chest stirs slightly, but you give it your all to get everything out in a steady and clear manner. "You can tell me you're tired, Toji. That you want to rest in the comfort of your own home, and I'll understand. I don't want to be another cause of stress for you."
It pains him to hear that because you're the one who keeps him sane, the one he thinks about when he settles into bed but can't get to sleep, the first person to know that he's still alive in morning, the one who has made him feel so safe, that he feels no shame when he occasionally calls to confirm that he's still loved by you.
"You're not," he simply murmurs. "It's not true."
"You don't have to worry about protecting my feelings."
His arms loosen around you, the back of your shirt wrinkled but freed from his clutches. Your heart is beating too fast, attempting to leave your chest. Now you're standing up straight, doing your best to not avert your gaze from the man before you.
"You're not a burden to me. Okay?" He says, and you want to believe him because of the way he's looking at you, like he's searching your eyes for even the smallest bit of confidence from you about the fact. "Say it."
The words are stuck, it's visible. Your lips twitch, but your voice doesn't progress. You just look at him, feeling the sadness seep into every part of you.
"You're not a burden to me. I need you to get that through your pretty head, right now," he says, only to feel his own heart skip a beat at your reaction.
"Sorry," you mumble, unable to instantly straighten out the curl of your lips.
In this moment, Toji knows that everything is going to be okay. He hasn't heard you laugh in a week, and though it was only a small, congested giggle, he savors it along with your inability to regain your bearing, like it's his last sip of water while he's stranded in the desert.
"Gets you every time, huh?" He says, his own faint smile emerging.
'Right now', a habitual phrase of his that is meant to comfort you. You've told him before that not everything can be fixed or healed in an instant—things don't work that way—but he never backs down. You've translated it into something akin to a bandage—the words are meant to cover you while you take the time to fully and properly heal. The joy you find in hearing them is a small beginning.
"It's funny," you respond, taking in his amused little grin. God, you missed his handsome face and the way he looks at you like everything about you makes perfect sense to him.
"My impatience is funny to you?" He teases, loving the way you press your lips together before proceeding to nod. He can't even be playfully offended, too entranced by the way you're actually smiling at him. He sighs through his nose and just watches you—admires you for a couple seconds, and when you start nervously shifting on your feet, he pulls you closer to him, his hands on your lower back as your body presses against his once more.
"Can you just say it, please? For me?" He murmurs, recognizing every one of the stars in your eyes. Though he thinks it's a tragedy to have gone a week without this view, he'll make up for lost time by creating new constellations.
"I don't know," you say, softly—filler words, your brain short circuits whenever he looks at you like that.
"For me, baby," he pleads once more. "Just wanna hear you say it."
You hum, unsure of whether you can say something you don't entirely believe. You want to make him happy, you want things to be better, you want to believe what he said—what he wants you to repeat to him, but it's hard. Damage is easy to inflict and hard to heal. It won't go away immediately, no matter how much you love the person who is trying to fix their mistake.
"I don't know-"
"Please?" he blurts.
"Toji, I don't-"
"Pretty please?" he cuts again, seeing the way your seriousness falters like before. Your laugh finds his ears once more, a sound he just wants to keep hearing. The sound embraces him. "With a cherry on top?" he adds, a sly little grin on his lips.
It's getting harder and harder to turn him down. He's precious, he's trying, and you cherish his effort. It's not going to kill you to just say it.
You sigh, "I'm not a burden."
"To who?" He questions, seeking elaboration from you.
"To you."
"Damn right," he says, proud. "We'll get you there. I'm not gonna leave you like this, alright?"
"Okay," you confirm, nodding slightly.
"Can I get a kiss?"
Again, you nod, expecting a quick peck—maybe a few quick pecks, but no, he goes on to kiss you like its been months since he last saw you, not a week. He's desperately chasing after your lips, seeking more and more of what he's been deprived of for too long. In his mind, he says 'never again, never again, never again', because he can't imagine going so long without your sweetness again. Without the softness of your lips against his, without those pretty smiles and laughs being thrown at him. It sounds like hell 2.0. when he thinks about losing it all over again.
"Fuck, I missed this," he murmurs, still just a breath away from your lips.
"Yeah," you respond, eyeing the short little pins of hair that sprinkle over his jaw and upper lip area. It makes you smile, you don't always get to see his face when it's not clean shaven.
"I was in a rush," he explains, unnecessarily, following the way your eyes trace his face.
"Mm," you hum, smiling. "Can I shave your face?"
"You wanna clean me up?" he asks, almost as if he's surprised.
"Only if you want me to. It was just an idea," you say, smiling sheepishly.
To that, he chuckles, a low sound that makes your stomach flip and your cheeks feel warmer.
"Oh, I want you to," he says, leaning forward to peck your lips, luring quiet giggles from you when he doesn't want to pull away.
-
Now, you sit on the counter of your bathroom sink, with Toji standing between your legs. There's a slight tremble in your hand, spurred on by his hands resting on your hips and the way he watches you with so much focus, trusting you enough to let you do this without a word from him. You drag the razor carefully along his cheek, making sure not to move too fast or use too much pressure.
Toji waits until you're cleaning off the blade to make his move of leaning in to press kisses to your face. Small peaks of foam are left behind on your skin, wiped away by gentle strokes of his thumb.
"I'm about to start again," you say through a laugh, leaning away to avoid ridding his face of all the protective spume on it. The razor remains beside you until he finally behaves himself. He huffs like you've been rejecting his affection the whole time, but nonetheless stands up straight and as still as a statue.
After some time, longer than it would have taken him alone—longer than it would have taken you if he didn't smother you every time you paused to clean the razor—you got it done. You brought back the smoothness of his skin.
"Am I pretty again?" he jests, drying his face with one of your towels.
"Stunning," you quip in response, shifting on the counter to signal that you're going to hop off.
"You're stunning," he says, low, unmoving from where he stands between your legs. "My gorgeous, gorgeous girl," he adds, seeking more of that feeling the flustered smile on your face gives him. "Missed you lots, you know that?" You just laugh and shake your head, like you're silently calling him crazy. "What? I'm serious," he says in response, a soft grin on his face. "Did you miss me? Even a little bit?"
A single second passes by. You can't lie to him and say you didn't. You missed him every single day, through the hurt. Your chest ached and your heart dropped every time you remembered the incident, but your love for him never wavered. You couldn't stop thinking about him, and with how often he tried to reach you, it was nearly impossible not to have him on your mind.
"Of course I did. I took the time I needed, but that doesn't mean I wanted it."
"I know, baby. And I would never hold it against you. I'm just... glad I can see you again, is all."
You smile. The gleam and sincerity in his eyes is a wonder to witness and well worth the butterflies that overly crowd your stomach.
"I really did miss you," you mumble.
"Yeah?" He asks.
"Mhm," you hum, nodding. "'Lots.'"
A soft chuckle rumbles in his chest, then he leans in close for nth time, peppering kisses across your cheek until he reaches your lips. He can feel you smiling into the kisses, a sensation he yearned for with every fiber of his being for the past week. One of his hands rests on your thigh, caressing the inner part of it, while the other slides up your shirt and settles on your waist. The lip-lock steals your breath away, but even then, you challenge your lungs for your lover's sake, only pulling away when you're a panting mess and Toji's breathing is more audible.
The tension is palpable, the silence loud as you look at one another like you're still taking in the fact that you can be loving towards each other again, in a manner that doesn't derive from guilt for the time that you didn't get to demonstrate how much you truly love each other. Enough to not be able to leave a fresh wound alone, enough to forgive while outwardly expressing that you have not healed but are patient enough to work towards regaining that strength.
"I don't wanna go home," he murmurs, eyes flitting between your eyes and lips before focusing on solely your eyes.
"You don't have to," you respond. "Stay as long as you'd like."
"And if I said I wanted to spend a week here with you? Would you hate it?"
You shake your head. "No, but I think you'd get tired of seeing me all the time."
"You're wrong, pretty girl. Is this your subtle way of saying you're tired of looking at my mug, already?" He asks, lips curling with amusement at your giggle.
"No, I want you to stay," you say, honest.
"Promise?"
You nod, followed by an affirmative hum.
"Say it again," he requests, heart thudding just a little faster when you smile.
"I want you to stay, Toji," you repeat, his name on your tongue causing your cheeks to warm up.
"Again." His hands mold around your hips—squeezing, loving.
"Stay," you say, softer.
He sighs, heavy, an enamored look in his eyes that you have never been able to comprehend. Those dark, viridescent eyes, have a brilliance to them as he looks at you like you're the last good thing he'll ever be able to call his. You're good for him, you're good to him, and there is nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you because you gave him your heart.
"Yeah... you're stuck with me here for a week and you're come with me to pick some stuff up from my place, tomorrow. Okay? Okay."
"Okay," you respond, with a laugh.
"Now, we get you off this counter," he says, lifting you like you're a teddy bear that he carries around for protection. He doesn't miss the way you gasp at the suddenness. "Hold me tight, baby," he says, allowing you to wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist before moving anywhere. A kiss is planted on your shoulder as he turns around to exit the bathroom.
"And now you let me show you some love," he says, low, carrying you to your bedroom.
#toji#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fluff#toji angst#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji x reader#jjk toji x reader#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk#jjk fluff#jjk angst#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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People's reactions to my small talk post have really made it clear to me how much people think they should be able to opt out of society whenever they find parts of it boring or inconvenient.
"If someone engaged me in small talk I would just ignore them because it's pointless." Cool okay that would get many people fired.
"If someone engaged me in small talk I would just tell them that it's none of their business so I'm left alone." Wow impressive you're really showing that random stranger who asked you if you think it'll snow tomorrow.
"Why don't we ban small talk at work and school to help with efficiency?" Because we're not automatons, life is not just about efficiency, and asking your coworker how their weekend went or your classmate if they got stuck in the subway delay this morning isn't harmful or bad.
I recognize that there are people who are not capable of doing small talk or engaging at all verbally with anyone in a casual way, but some of the ways that some people have reacted feel a lot more like the "we don't owe our friends a ride to the airport or help moving" type vibe.
Community and society are built not just around our small group of extremely close friends and family but also our casual acquantainces, our coworkers, our classmates, the people with engage with professionally, the people with see at clubs or group lessons or religious meetings, the people we stand next to at bus stops.
And being autistic or ADHD or depressed or anxious or anything else doesn't mean that you get to opt out of society without consequences.
If the person sitting next to you at your knitting club asks how your day is going and you tell them to fuck off because you don't believe in small talk, you have just made this space less welcoming and safe for them, and you have cut off an avenue for yourself to meet someone. I'm willing to bet that that person will never try to talk to you again, and they'll probably tell other people what you said, and the space will become less friendly to you, all because you were unwilling to say, it's going fine, and you? or not great. I'm not great at small talk, but I'd love to learn more about what you're knitting instead or even I'm sorry, I'm having a long week and just need a little quiet right now.
#actually autistic#here's the thing: i can't opt out of small talk even if i wanted to and still keep my gainful employment#but also i just don't have the right to be a jerk to someone just because they asked me a casual question?#we all live in society
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Hotch request ♡ for pre-relationship Hotch and Reader where he takes care of them on a case where they don’t feel well (maybe giving them his jacket when they have to investigate somewhere chilly at night, or keeping an eye on them!!) I thought this would be a cute one !!
if you only knew
cw; fem bau!reader, mutual pining, no established relationship, touch starved aaron, sick descriptions, fluff <3
After being out with the flu last week, color was just beginning to return to your face. Liveliness was present, contrasting the dull pale Aaron had witnessed when you attempted to come into the office. One look at you, and he sent you straight home.
You were on the upswing, otherwise he wouldn't have let you travel. Your fever had gone, you were on antibiotics, you promised you felt better - pinky-promised even.
But now he was beginning to think he should've momentarily grounded you back at Quantico, aiding Garcia rather than being in the field with the rest of team.
The further you ventured, the further the temperature plummeted. Surely it wasn't good for your vulnerable immune system, especially since your symptoms had yet to fully disappear, and why had he insisted you come? Prentiss could've accompanied him to the crime scene. Or JJ, Reid - anyone else.
He knew the answer already though; after not seeing you for nearly a week, he was guiltily needing to make up for lost time.
Aaron did, however, have a set of tissues waiting in his pocket, which - judging by the increasing rate of sniffles exiting you - would come in handy soon. He had to subtly conceal retrieving the items (he packed cough drops also) as the two of you left the precinct, knowing the cheeky grin or words Dave would offer him if caught.
"How are you doing?"
You considered saying you were fine, but lying was pointless - he’d see right through it before the words even left your mouth. And you couldn't lie to him.
It was nice, having someone know you so well.
Your voice was hoarse, barely more than a rasp. "Honestly, not great. My head is so congested it feels as if it's going to explode."
He grimaced in compassion, meeting your eyes with sympathy - which deepened at the sight of your red nose. Induced by the cold or your cold, he wasn't sure, "I'm sorry."
"I can't tell if I'm shivering because of post sick chills," you admitted, and right on cue, a quick shudder overtook your body. "Or I'm just freezing."
"You could head back to the car. Warm up a bit."
As tempting as the suggestion was, you gave him a look. Wittiness danced in your eyes and it eased his tense shoulders; if you felt that bad, you wouldn't have bothered with such a display. "And leave you here alone?"
Aaron chuckled gently, "I can manage."
"I know you can." You responded simply but picked up your pace to lead the way, as if to prove to him you were more than capable. Unbeknownst to him, you were making up for lost time too.
Spending solo time with Aaron, or cooped up in a stuffy police department? The choice was obvious.
"Wait-" you paused, and he took a few strides to catch up. "Take my jacket then, at least."
"Hotch-" You began to protest, but Aaron shrugged his puffer off his shoulders anyway, ignoring your concerns of him now being susceptible to the frigid air, and how you'd hate to be the reason he'd succumb to hypothermia.
He couldn't care less, as long as you were warm. He persuaded your arms through the sleeves and pulled the zipper up, fastening it snugly at your chin to preserve warmth.
"This shouldn't take long," Aaron promised, a brisk burst of wind hitting the two of you. It caused a strand of your hair to fall in front of your face, and he immediately had the urge to tuck it back behind your ear. Get a grip, Hotchner.
He withheld his temptation for a moment, but then came to the conclusion - fuck it. While brushing it out of the way, his finger touched your skin. Briefly, but your cheek wasn't flushed, confirming your fever had definitely gone. But then again, the weather could've been contributing. "We'll take a look around, make sure CSI is taking adequate photos, and head out."
Your response was delayed, partially convinced you hallucinated his actions as your heart fluttered in your chest. Maybe your fever was returning. "Okay."
"Once we get back to the hotel, make some tea for your throat." How did he know your throat killed? Was it that obvious? "Take a hot shower, bask in the steam. And most importantly, get some sleep."
"Is that an order?" You countered, a weak smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
"If that's what it takes, yes." He answered playfully, but the expression on his face indicated he was serious. Lips pressed into a soft line, eyes steady and clear with quiet determination.
Aaron was walking alongside you now, the back of his hand brushing against yours. While you weren't touching - only a few centimeters separated the two of you - it was electrifying.
Right before you reached the victim, a sudden sneezing fit seized you, and without thinking, his hand settled at the small of your back in support. It comfortably stayed put until you finished.
You peered up at him as your hand hid your snotty nose, eyes watery and quite pitiful. It broke his heart in the sweetest yet saddest way.
"Do you have tissues?"
"Check your pocket."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds drabble#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch imagine#criminal minds x fem!reader
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୨୧ rock ୨୧
pairing: Bob Reynolds ♡︎ Reader
warnings: ୭̥⋆*。 lots of negative self talk, nudity (in a non-sexual way), kissing, Bob being confident, not proofread
summary: ʚ you always take care of Bob but what if you needed caring for? ɞ
Words: 1.7k
A/N: self indulgent… also I haven't written a full fic in like 8 months lolz

As you gripped the steering wheel the cold air from your car's AC blasted through the vents and what felt like right into your eyes. That plus the urge to break down and cry was making you white knuckle your grip on that steering wheel you desperately clung to. It was just one of those days.
Nothing seemed quite right for you, no matter how much you wanted and needed it to. You felt so ugly and stupid. And after everything that happened, you had yet to cry. So here you are driving home from a very annoying and pointless meeting with some higher-up in Val’s team.
You sat waiting at the red light, and your mind started to flicker with thoughts of a warm shower, good warm food. And a nice clean bed… wait. Shit. You were supposed to clean your sheets, but you never did… well, you’d have to wait for those to be done, but at least you’d be home, right?
You zoned out waiting for the light to turn green so long that you missed when it was your turn. But thankfully, someone blasted their horn from behind to remind you it was time to go. You let out a broken sigh as you approach the underground tunnel for parking beneath the old Avengers tower.
Your face scan lets you in as you park your car and head to the elevator for a very long ride up to your floor. You had the topmost floor of any other member of your team. You liked it. The distance you could see New York was beautiful.
But right now it feels cold. It feels cold as you walk in and set your keys down on the counter. You stepped into your bedroom and collapsed. Finally allowing the tears to spill from your eyes. Leaving a wet trail in their absence. You let the worry and anger from today spell from your eyes. Your small sobs started to wrack through your body as you let yourself go of everything you held in.
You hadn't seen Bob yet, but you knew he had arrived when you heard the small pitter-patter of his feet slowly bring your attention to the door. He peeked his head in. Your light wasn't on, but he could clearly see your tear-stained cheeks.
His eyes filled with worry as you sat up and just looked at him. He stands staring at you. You let your head fall as he rushes up to your side. “A-are you hurt?” he asks, unsure of how to help or even if you wanted help.
You don't answer simply by holding your arms out begging for intimacy. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around you, terrified as you didn't speak to him. Your tears fell onto his shirt. “What's wrong?” he whispered.
You take a shaky breath in, pulling away from him slightly. He doesn't take his arms off you. Just looking at you, begging you to please let him know what was wrong. “I-i’m fine,” you say, your words nearly catching in your throat. “I've just had…” You pause, looking into his eyes.
“Just had a really hard day,” you say, your lips slowly quivering into a small child-like pout. “Oh, I m-I'm sorry,” he said.
You dismissed his worry as you continued to cry. “No, it's fine. I'm fine,” you repeated as your voice cracked.
In a lot of ways, you were Bob’s rock. You kept him grounded, safe, and happy. You were always there to take care of him. To ward off any evil thoughts that plagued him. But perhaps he had been too selfish.
So selfish, he hadn't noticed your struggles. “D-do you wanna take a shower?” he asked. His voice was small, but he meant well. Whenever Bob had bad days or weeks when he couldn't get up, telling him to take a shower was always the first thing you said.
You told him it not only helped calm his nervous system, but it also got him clean and moving. At first, it was just a suggestion from a friend. Then you started waiting in his room for him to be done. Then, once the romantic feelings of your relationship bloomed, you started showering with him.
Holding his body close to yours as you bathed him. So that's why he suggested it. Metaphorically, you could clean all the stress of today right off. And physically get clean and cozy for a night of good rest. You nodded your head sadly as he softly guided you into the bathroom.
You sat on the counter as Bob began to prepare a shower for you both. He slowly fiddled with the packet of smelling diffusers. You had a few scents, but the lavender was his favorite. It sorta smelled like the lotion his mom would use, and while not every memory of his mother was a good one, the smell brought him so much safety.
He hoped it'd feel the same way with you. The shower's steam slowly built with the diffuser as he turned a lamp on and turned the overhead light off. Everything was prepared as it should be for a nice shower, and he turned to you.
His face was half lit in the glow of the lamp. You felt so broken. You were a protector. Bob needed you to be strong for him. You were failing miserably. “Did you wanna take your makeup off? Maybe…” his voice was quiet, but you could hear the tremble in it. You nodded sadly, scooting off the countertop.
You faced the sink, even with low lighting, the only thing you saw was all your imperfections staring back at you. You robotically took your things out of the drawer and began to remove the makeup that caked your face. Bob, being unsure of where to put his hands, slowly wrapped himself around your waist. Holding you flush against him as you finish your task.
You slowly turned around, his arms still loosely holding your body. “Shower time?” he asked tentatively. “Shower time,” you confirmed. It was the first time you had spoken in minutes, your throat was dry and sore from your sobbing earlier. He slowly slides his hands up to the bottom of your shirt, looks up, and asks for permission to remove it.
You nod your head, allowing him to remove the article of clothing. Even though he had taken your shirt a thousand times at that point, he always made sure to ask. If not with words, then his eyes. He slowly pulled it off of you and removed each piece of your clothing, You took a breather as you were finally bare and free from your restrictive formal pants.
Bob then took his clothes off and opened the shower door for you. Yet another perk from living in the Avengers tower: big showers. Big enough for two, that is for sure. Steam swirled around as you stepped into the water. The warmth filled the cold, empty part of your soul. Breathing in the lavender scent puts your mind at ease.
Bob yet again slid his big hands around your waist, and you fully leaned into his touch. The water hits your skin with a calming effect. Bob knew he wasn't very good at comforting, but he wanted to try. You deserve someone who would try. He just held you, trying to ground you.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked quietly, his voice tickling your skin. You sighed, and your tongue peeked out from your lips. “I just- I feel so ugly and worthless sometimes. It's not just insecurity, it's like it consumes my whole being. And that meeting today, I just…” You shook your head.
“Y-you aren't ugly.” He whispered, his hand finding the side of your face. “And you are far from worthless. Y-you have helped me so much, you've helped his team so much.” His voice was quiet but strong. You've never heard him sound so sure of himself before.
“You have been there for me. For every good day, every bad day.” His face was getting so close to yours, your nose nudged him. Your mouths collapsed under the water, feeling his entire body against yours as he slowly started to consume you with his kiss.
He pulled away from your lips but not from your body, his lips dragged down your jawline, and neck. Each kiss was a promise. A promise that none of the awful things you thought about yourself were true.
“You promise?” you whispered, which did cause him to pull away completely. “I promise. I couldn't be in this world if you weren't in it with me,” he said, his eyes holding yours for what felt like years. “I love you so fucking much Bob.”
You could see his face and neck turning a bright crimson red. “I-I love you too,” he said in a quiet voice. Your worries for the time were gone, and you could just enjoy showering with your boyfriend. That's what you did as you lathered your soap on yourself and him. It's what you did as you rinsed off.
You dried yourself and put on lotion as Bob went into what was basically your shared bedroom. You stepped into the room and looked at your bed, a pair of your comfy clothes. (Bob’s shirt and some Sweatpants.) You changed into them as he sat on the edge of the bed, just admiring you.
As you changed, your body felt the exhaustion creeping in and how badly you wanted to lie down in bed, but at last you must still wash your bed sheets. And as if Bob could read your mind, “Oh, I washed the sheets today. Well, I did all the laundry. So we can just go right to sleep, or maybe we can eat food and watch TV,” he said with a small smile, proud of cleaning today.
“Sleeping sounds so good,” you whispered, sitting next to him. His hands hold the sides of your face. It was a small gesture, but one that made your heart swell. He moved his hands, scooting up the bed, opening the blanket for you to curl up on his chest, and that's exactly what you did. Lulling yourself asleep to the beat of his heart.
#bob reynolds fluff#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds imagines#bob x reader#bob reynolds#bob thunderbolts#thunderbolts fan fiction#thunderbolts#lewis pullman#lewis pullman x reader
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part 1 hehe
notsobaddasssoldier!reader that is so incredibly under prepared for everything. and the 141 really do forget that you're actually still very green - very new to this life.
especially with things like interrogation.
for once, price is putting you on the sideline BUT you have to interogate the person they have captive for valuable information.
they'll give you whatever things you need in order to pry out any sort of information from the captive. they don't even second guess you asking for a guitar. they get one then they continue on with the mission while you interrogate the person.
their expectation may have been very high. they were betting on all the little fun bloody pain you could potentially do to the captive. seriously,
"knife, they're a knife person" *ghost*
"definitely not. fire. they're definitely using a blowtorch on em as we speak." *soap*
"sod of the both of ya - waterboarding. for sure." *gaz*
"choking." *price shrugs*
obviously, they were excited to come back and see who was right...
it really humbled them to see they were all wrong.
"please make them stop. i'll tell you whatever you want"
*captive yelling that can be barely heard over reader.*
"AHHHHHHHHHH *strum strum* AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH *strum strum* AHHHHHH-"
*reader who is loudly strumming the guitar out of tune, screaming in the captives' face over and over again.*
the guys don't know if they should be impressed or concerned. they were gone for nearly 5 hours.
5 hours you had been screaming in the captives' face 'playing' the guitar.
later on you get a lesson from ghost about what interrogations are supposed to be like - it ends with you vomiting and price patting your back and gaz holding a bucket to your mouth.
"what did you think was gonna happen when ghost showed ye what to do?" *soap*
"i don't know... go boo?" *scarred reader*
yeah... you're not allowed to do interrogations anymore or be involved in interrogations- you are also most definitely not allowed to talk to captives or guard them because -
"why're you doing this?" *captive*
"honest to god, i ain't got much goin' for me and i had hella stu-"
*reader's mouth suddenly gets covered, gaz looking at you like an idiot*
"hm? what is your little task force plan, huh? go on and blow the place?" *captive*
"well actually no. they plan too-" *your mouth gets covered just in time and you're getting dragged out the room by a very frustrated price*
you very much get ANOTHER lesson about what NOT TO DO when in the same room as a captive - it's pointless though because you're still not ever allowed in the same room alone with a captive.
HAHAHA
i can't stop thinking of reader who is watching a captive be interrogated for information by getting choked and reader just piping up like
"i don't think they can breathe..."
*ghost, long exhale, continues choking captive*
"that's the point, kid" *price*
"oh..."
*they continue choking the captive, waiting for them to crack-*
"if they can't breathe how are they going to talk-?"
"out." *ghost snaps pointing at the door.*
maybe they do give you a second shot at attempting to interrogate the captive. the 'correct' way this time, though. giving you ALL the necessary tools...
and you are ready, you're pumped. you can do it. you're not going to vomit - you're going to do it right.
you grab the pliers and walk towards the captive who is obviously panicked, very much expecting you to do your worse. which you are.
you grab their mouth and force their mouth open, ready to pull their teeth out - sucking a deep breath in as the captive starts to cry and beg.
but then you start to cry and beg.
"please just tell me the information i don't wanna do this"
"you don't have too!" *captive, crying and begging too*
"i do! i'm sorry..."
"no." *captive*
"yes."
"no" *captive starts screaming, making you start screaming as you pull on their tooth both of you staring at eachother and screaming your heads off.*
"I'M SORRY!"
"STOP!" *captive*
"I CAN'T!" *pulls tooth with pliers* "EW EW EW EW-"
you don't even do it right. you're pulling at their tooth with pliers and you're not strong enough so you're awkwardly just tugging the captives head. but the both of you are too busy screaming and begging to notice...
but you actually manage to successfully get the information - you're still not allowed to do interrogations... only being the very last option.
it does mean that you have to go on missions... even if you're useless omg idea?
*gasp* someone claims reader is a traitor - oop?
more parts, perhaps?
a/n: wrote this while trying to work through an anxiety/panic attack !! xx honestly tho these would be my genuine reaction. btw drink water and try sleep cause i can't xx
#my post#boowrites#cod mwii#x reader#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#notsobaddasssoldier!reader x 141#notsobaddasssoldier!reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#john price x reader#john price#captain john price#ghost x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#john soap mactavish#captain john price x you#john price x you#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader
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Can I make a request? Homelander falling for a reader who is completely unaware of it. Not because he's good at hiding it but because, they genuinely can't fathom the thought of someone being that intense with their feelings about THEM of all people👀 but their the only person who's genuinely kind to him.
I'm sooooo sorry this took so long
Love and Devotion

pairing | homelander x supe!reader
word count | 5.8k words
summary | homelander becomes increasingly obsessed with the new kind and unsuspecting supe, and fixates on her as his perfect match, believing she belongs to him. his possessiveness reaches new heights after discovering intimate details about her powers, pushing him to claim her as his own, regardless of her obliviousness to his feelings.
tags | canon homelander??? obsession, possessiveness, season 4 timeline, major fluff, tell me if you think it ooc homelander, lactating kink
a/n | first homelander fic, this was sooooo fun to write and yes I did rewatch season 4 for this
likes, comments, reblogs are always appreciated ✨
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫����𝐢𝐬𝐭
You were perfect from the moment he laid eyes on you.
"Her?"
Homelander’s voice dripped with disdain as he watched Firecracker spewing her rant about family values and patriotism, all while waving her hands around. She reminded him of a third-rate talk show host. He grimaced, turning to Sage.
"Yeah," Sage responded, standing at his side.
"Really?" he sneered, barely able to mask his disgust.
"Mhm," Sage hummed in affirmation.
"Seems like she fell off her Jet Ski one too many times," Homelander muttered, his lip curling.
Sage, unbothered by his sarcasm, simply shook her head. "No, now that Starlight’s back leading the Starlighters, we need someone like her."
Homelander raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Mm. And that’s gonna shut them up?" He knew exactly what "them" meant: the endless critics, social media commentators, all the noise that clawed at his mind.
"No," Sage replied, her voice low and cryptic. "She’s going to make them louder."
He shot her a look. "You gonna trust me or not?" she added before he could question it further.
Rolling his eyes, he turned his gaze elsewhere. He was growing tired of these briefings, the endless parade of new supes Vought was parading through. But then, his eyes landed on you.
You were surrounded by a group of eager reporters, microphones pushed into your face. Unlike Firecracker, who couldn't stop her loud, brash performance, you were different. You weren't reciting hollow slogans or pandering to anyone. You stood there with an almost serene composure, answering each question softly, with a gentle smile. There was something…sincere in the way you spoke, like you actually cared about the answers, not just the headlines they’d create.
"And what about her?" Homelander murmured, his gaze locked on you as if he were seeing something unexpected for the first time.
"The Pink Dahlia," Sage said, repeating your supe name as though it was obvious. "She’s going to be the new Starlight."
Homelander frowned, feeling a flicker of confusion. The new Starlight? That seemed impossible. No one could ever replace that bitch's popularity, her…adoring fanbase. But Sage seemed to sense his thoughts, elaborating with an almost bored tone.
"The only reason Starlight is liked is because of her sincerity. Her kindness," Sage explained, nodding towards you. "Pink Dahlia is going to be America’s next sweetheart supe."
Homelander hummed, though his mind was elsewhere, distracted by the sight of you. Sage was talking, but he was no longer listening. Instead, he watched as the cameras captured your every move. For a moment, you glanced in his direction. Not out of fear or awe, but with that same quiet softness you gave to everyone. It unnerved him how unaffected you seemed by his presence, by who he was.
He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t.
Sage dragged him into yet another pointless debate, but his attention was only half there. He knew she’d eventually let it go once she realized his disinterest, and sure enough, she did. He was quick to pass her along to the vultures—photographers desperate to get the next "supe girl" in their lenses.
As Homelander turned, his gaze landed on Ryan, sulking in one of the chairs at the back of the room. Frustration boiled inside him. He couldn’t stand seeing his son like that, so withdrawn, when the whole world was theirs.
But then, his brow furrowed. You had walked over, leaving the cameras behind. Quietly, you sat beside Ryan, the two of you almost invisible in the flurry of the room. He watched as you offered your hand to Ryan, a gentle smile on your face. His son, who had been lost in his own thoughts, blinked in surprise before hesitantly shaking your hand.
For the first time in hours, Homelander saw the tension leave Ryan’s shoulders. His usual sulk was replaced with something lighter. He listened to whatever you were saying, nodding slowly. Homelanders listened carefully to your sweet words, and watched how they were clearly having an effect on Ryan.
Interesting.
Homelander had too many fucking things going on for his mind to keep circling back to you. It irritated him, gnawed at him like an itch he couldn’t scratch.
First, the rage that boiled up every time he saw those goddamn Starlighter protests. He could hardly walk outside without hearing people chant for Starlight’s bullshit message, waving their signs, spewing their anti-Homelander garbage. It infuriated him. Then there was the constant frustration in dealing with Neuman. She was slippery, always too clever, too calm, and it made every negotiation with her feel like wading through quicksand.
But every time his temper cooled, his thoughts went back to you. You. That sweet, unassuming smile that you flashed so casually, like it wasn’t the most perfect thing he’d ever seen. And then there was your body—tight and perfect in that small pink and green suit, looking like you belonged on a magazine cover instead of here, in this hellhole with people like him.
It made him furious.
How could he let himself be distracted by you, when everything else around him was crumbling? He was supposed to be in control, but instead, he was falling apart. First he let that fucking loser Hughie get away. Then, Ryan—his own son—had the nerve to run off to see Butcher after everything Homelander had given him. After all the time and care he’d put into Ryan, after showing him the world, how was he still not good enough?
It made him sick.
And then... and then there was the other thing. His reflection. The part of him that never shut up, that always knew where to strike. His other self had looked at him and sneered. Told him he was weak, that he was a joke. That no matter how much power he had, no matter how feared he was, he was still nothing.
And maybe it was right. Maybe he was losing it.
So he decided to visit home. The lab. Where they had made him. Where he had been molded into the strongest supe to ever walk the earth. He’d slaughtered every single one of the scientists who had "raised" him. He stood in the sterile halls, the faint hum of the machines still active around him. The silence made him feel grounded, like this was the only place in the world where he could truly be himself.
But it wasn’t enough. Not anymore.
Not when the image of you—your smile, your soft gaze, your kindness—kept seeping into his mind. You were a weakness he couldn’t afford. And that filled him with even more rage.
And yet the moment he saw your face, all that rage he had been holding onto evaporated like steam. The blood, the anger, the frustration—it all seemed distant as he took in the worried expression on your face.
He had strolled back into Vought Tower like nothing was wrong, though his suit was still soaked in the blood and viscera of the scientists he’d butchered in the lab. It didn’t matter—he was Homelander, after all. No one would dare question him. But fate must have been laughing at him because, of all people, he ran straight into you.
You froze when you saw him, your eyes widening in pure shock at the sight of him covered in carnage. Anyone else would have been horrified, would have run or screamed, but not you. Instead, your lips parted and, with that same quiet softness he had come to expect, you said, “Would you like some help?”
Homelander just stared, his mind slowing to a crawl as the words sank in. He was a god, covered in the blood of men, and here you were, offering help. Something inside him shifted in that moment. He nodded, feeling strangely empty and vulnerable, like a child waiting for instructions. In the back of his mind, he realized this was the first time you had actually spoken to him directly.
His chest tightened as you stepped closer, your eyes flicking up to his with cautious concern. You reached out and gently placed your pink-gloved hand into his red, blood-stained one. Homelander nearly closed his eyes, focusing intently on the warmth of your touch. That warmth—it spread through him, melting away the sharp edges of his anger. No one touched him like that, without fear or calculation.
You led him silently into the elevator, your hand still in his, guiding him like he was something fragile. He couldn't help but glance down at your hand in his, his mind spinning as he tried to commit the sensation to memory. The touch wasn’t just physical—it felt like a lifeline, something pulling him out of the darkness he had been sinking into.
As the elevator doors slid shut, the quiet hum of the building surrounded them, and Homelander found himself focusing solely on you. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t recoil. You just held his hand, gently, as if leading him somewhere safe. He didn’t feel like a monster in that moment, not in your presence.
The elevator dinged softly, and you led him down the hall to your floor. The sight was unlike anything in Vought Tower—lush greenery, vibrant pinks and soft petals blooming everywhere. It felt alive, warm. This was your power after all, to bend nature to your will. And it was a reflection of you, full of life, soft but powerful. He was surprised it was even still Vought Tower.
He hadn’t expected you to bring him here. You could’ve taken him to his own floor, left him in one of the pristine, sterile bathrooms of his suite. But no—you’d brought him to your space, a sanctuary. It was so unlike the cold, artificial world of Vought. And so much like you.
Slowly, you guided him to the bathroom. The plants trailed along the walls, the air fragrant with the scent of blooming flowers. You looked up at him, blinking those wide, soft eyes of yours. A single word entered his mind: Fawn. You looked like a fawn, delicate and innocent, standing before something dangerous without any idea of what it could do to you.
“Do you want me to leave?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He shook his head, unable to find the words to speak. Still entranced by you, he wondered how you could be so kind, so gentle, to someone like him. Anyone else would have left him to clean himself up in cold silence, but you…you stayed.
You nodded quietly, as if you understood, then turned to the bath, filling it with warm water. He watched you bite your lip in thought, and all he could think about was biting your lip himself. His gaze lingered on your mouth, and for a split second, he imagined pulling you close, feeling that softness against his own. But instead, he remained silent, his breath heavy as you carefully and gently began to undress him.
He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him with such care. You didn’t fumble or stare, didn’t sneak a lustful glance as you removed his suit piece by piece. You were entirely respectful, your touch light, focused on the task. And when you led him to sink into the bath, your hands still guiding him, he realized that you weren’t treating him like Homelander. You weren’t treating him like a god. You were treating him like…a person.
The warm water surrounded him, washing away the blood and grime. But what made him feel truly clean was your touch. You knelt by the tub, peeling off your pink gloves, and began washing him with your bare hands. He could feel your skin against his, the warmth of your palms gliding over his body.
He had to fight to keep from shivering. The sensation of your skin on his—bare and vulnerable—sent a wave of euphoria through him. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt. This wasn’t lust. This was something deeper, something far more dangerous. He was intoxicated by you, not because of what you were doing, but because of who you were. The softness, the care, the genuine kindness…it was all so foreign to him.
And as you worked in silence, cleaning away the blood, he realized with a start that he never wanted this feeling to end.
Homelander couldn’t take his eyes off you as you washed him. Every gentle stroke of your hands sent a ripple of pleasure through him, and though his eyes begged to close, he refused. He needed to see you. To watch you, to take in every movement, every touch. Your fingers slid through his hair, and for a moment, he almost gave in—almost let his eyes flutter shut and just melt into the sensation. But his gaze stayed locked on you, intense and unyielding.
You could feel his stare, that much was clear, yet you didn’t say a word. You just kept working, silent and serene. And it started to bother him, gnawing at him. How could you be so quiet, so unaffected by his presence? He needed to hear your voice again. He craved it, like a drug, something to soothe the irritation building inside him.
“Talk to me,” he said, the words slipping out in a petulant tone he hadn’t meant to use. But he didn’t care. He wanted your attention, your words, your everything.
Your eyes met his, wide and curious, like you were studying him, trying to figure him out. You tilted your head, and once again, the thought struck him—fawn. That was what you reminded him of. A fawn, delicate and gentle, standing before a predator without realizing the danger.
You pursed your lips, thinking carefully about what to say, and for just a second, Homelander finally closed his eyes. He wanted to focus solely on your voice. Nothing else mattered. Just you.
“I named myself Pink Dahlia because my favorite color is pink,” you began, your sweet voice filling the room like music, “and dahlias symbolize love and devotion.”
His eyes snapped open.
Love and devotion. The words echoed in his mind like a gunshot, shattering every other thought. You kept talking, explaining something about flower meanings and other potential supe names you’d considered, but Homelander didn’t give a fuck about that. None of that mattered. All he could focus on was love and devotion.
It was a sign. It had to be. You were made for him. There was no other explanation. How could it be a coincidence that the one person who treated him with kindness, who looked at him without fear, had chosen a name that embodied exactly what he wanted from you? Exactly what he needed. Love and devotion.
His chest tightened with the realization, his mind spinning with the possibilities. You would love him. You would be devoted to him completely. It was inevitable. Fate had brought you into his life for a reason.
As you continued to speak, your voice soft and calming, he stared at you, consumed by the thought of it—how perfect it would be. You, by his side, loyal and loving, filling the void that no one else could. The world would bow before him, but you…you would worship him in the way he craved, in a way no one ever had.
You were starting to seriously piss him off. The way you acted, pretending like nothing had happened between you, like the connection between you wasn’t so strong it practically vibrated in the air. You carried on as if the two of you didn’t share something deeper, something unspoken but undeniable. It was infuriating.
Then again, if you had acknowledged it—if you’d brought it up and confronted him about it—he probably would’ve blown a fucking gasket. His control was fragile enough as it was.
But trying to talk to you? That was a whole other level of frustration. Every time you looked up at him with those soft, gentle eyes, and gave him that sweet, unassuming smile, all the words in his head vanished. Just gone. Like you had some kind of power over him that even he didn’t understand.
So, he did the only thing he could think of to get you closer—he forced The Deep to move, ordering him to sit somewhere else, so that you could sit right next to him. He wasn’t subtle about it, either. He didn’t care if anyone noticed. As long as you were close, that was all that mattered.
Then came the Vought V52 Expo, and Homelander could feel the agitation building inside him. He needed to talk to you, to make you see what was right in front of you, but the timing was never right. On the bright side, things were going well with Ryan. He was bonding with his son, teaching him to stand up for himself, to say no when he needed to. It felt…good, like he was finally getting through to him.
But by the time they got to the V52 Expo, the agitation had grown into something much sharper. His eyes tracked you across the stage, watching as you announced your new environmental awareness project—the Dahlia Project. Fans were cheering for you, screaming your name, and you looked so damn perfect up there.
You were smiling, waving to the crowd, talking passionately about your cause, and the noise of the crowd was deafening. But all Homelander could think about was how you hadn’t even looked at him once. Not a glance. Not a dedication. Nothing.
He watched you with cold, calculated eyes, trying to keep the growing frustration in check. You were good at this, at drawing people in, making them adore you. But how could you not see that you already had him? That no one else in the crowd mattered compared to him?
And as the fans continued to cheer, his grip tightened around the milkshake he’d bought for you. He needed to speak to you. To make you understand. And the longer you went on, the more he realized—this wasn’t just about getting closer to you anymore. It was about making sure you knew that you belonged to him.
Homelander was standing with Ryan, guiding him through yet another lesson in asserting control. Ryan had been eager to "help" people, to really understand what that meant. So, when Homelander saw an opportunity, he called over Adam—the Vought employee who had been making his assistant visibly uncomfortable with inappropriate advances.
Ryan’s eyes narrowed skeptically, his young face twisting in uncertainty as he looked at the assistant. “Um… is he making you uncomfortable? You can tell me. You won’t get in trouble.”
The assistant bit her lip nervously before nodding, her voice hesitant but honest. “Kind of… yeah.”
Homelander raised an eyebrow, turning his attention to Ryan. “Ryan, what do you think we should do about that?”
Ryan hesitated, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. He still hadn’t fully grasped the power he held, and Homelander could sense his uncertainty, the hesitation that made his own patience wear thin. With a sigh, he glanced away—only for his eyes to land on you, walking past with that usual air of calm about you.
“Dahlia,” he called, his voice a little sharper than he intended. “Come over here.”
You looked up at him, eyebrows raised in that sweet, expectant way that only made him more agitated, and walked over without hesitation, your eyes scanning the scene as you assessed the situation.
“What’s up?” you asked simply.
Homelander smiled, the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and gestured to Adam. “Adam here has been making some inappropriate advances toward his assistant. What do you have to say about that?”
Even Ryan turned to you, waiting for your response. Homelander watched you closely, studying the way you furrowed your brows in genuine concern as you looked at Adam.
“I think,” you said carefully, “that there’s no excuse for making someone else uncomfortable. And it’s even worse when you know you’re doing it.”
Homelander’s smile widened at your answer. It was perfect—clear, direct, and moral, just like he expected from you. There was a subtle pride in the way you spoke, and it fed into his own sense of approval. You were playing right into his hands without even realizing it.
Your words seemed to be the push Ryan needed, as he turned to Adam, his voice gaining confidence. “Apologize,” Ryan commanded, the hint of authority in his tone surprising even himself. When Adam hesitated, Ryan’s jaw tightened. “Now.”
Adam stated an obviously insincere apology, and Ryan, growing bolder by the second, looked at the assistant. “I want you to slap him.”
Homelander’s gaze snapped to you, watching intently for your reaction. You didn’t flinch. Instead, you seemed to consider the situation with a quiet thoughtfulness, your expression showing no sign of discomfort. You didn’t object or look shocked—in fact, there was a hint of agreement in the way you nodded lightly. You understood the need to make a point, to assert control.
Homelander couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. Not just in Ryan, but in you. The way you navigated the situation with clarity, how you stood by his side and reinforced his lessons without even realizing it—it only confirmed what he already knew.
You belonged with him.
The moment his resolve truly snapped was at Tek Knight’s party. Everything had already spiraled out of control. A-Train and Firecracker were nowhere to be found, MIA at a critical time. And when it was time for the big speech to the GOP donors, Sage was acting as if she’d had a fucking lobotomy, leaving Homelander to take over.
The minute he started speaking, they questioned him. Him. They criticized him as if he wasn’t the most powerful man in the room, as if he wasn’t Homelander. His hand twitched, and he was one second away from lasering through every single one of those smug, entitled bastards. But then Neuman stepped in, pulling the conversation back on track and rallying the support he was seconds from obliterating.
He stalked away, seething. And that’s when he saw it—him—one of the donor’s sons talking to you. But it wasn’t just talking. He recognized the look in that guy’s eyes, the casual leaning in, the way his hand brushed against your arm like it was nothing.
Homelander’s chest tightened with a slow, burning jealousy, the kind that clawed at him from the inside. His grip on the glass tightened, but for the moment, he held himself in check. Barely. When that loser touched your arm, though, that’s when it snapped. His entire facade shattered.
In his mind, that small touch was a violation. You belonged to him. Whether you knew it yet or not, it was already decided. And this idiot was crossing a line no one should ever have the nerve to approach.
His reaction started subtly—at first. His smile stiffened, his eyes narrowed with an icy focus. He moved toward you with the kind of charm that made people believe he was still in control, but inside, he was already a storm waiting to break.
Homelander slid smoothly between you and the man, a calculated smile plastered on his friendly. “Everything alright here?” His voice was polite, but there was an edge, a tension simmering just beneath the surface.
You blinked up at him, surprised but unsuspecting, nodding lightly. “Yeah, of course. This is Jason Wilson, the District Attorney’s son. We’re just talking.”
Just talking. Homelander’s smile grew tighter. Logically, he knew that. But logic had no place here. The jealousy gnawed at him, irrational, violent, and all-consuming. Without hesitation, he slipped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer in a way that left no room for doubt. “We wouldn’t want things to get inappropriate, now would we?”
Jason froze, his eyes widening slightly, clearly unnerved by the sudden shift. Homelander’s stare bore into him, a silent warning not to take another step, not to even breathe in your direction. Jason stammered an awkward excuse and quickly retreated, leaving you and Homelander alone.
You frowned up at him, clearly confused by the sudden shift in his mood. “What was that about?”
Homelander didn’t answer right away. Instead, his grip on your waist tightened, enough that you’d feel the strength behind it—enough that you couldn’t pull away easily. He quietly steered you toward a more secluded corner of the room, away from prying eyes. His voice dropped to a low, dangerous tone, his lips close to your ear. “You shouldn’t let people touch you like that,” he said, barely keeping his rage in check. “Not when you’re with me.”
You blinked, utterly confused, your brows knitting together in that way he both adored and despised. “I don’t understand. I’m not… with you.”
His jaw clenched. The words stung, hitting him harder than any physical blow could. You didn’t understand yet. You didn’t see what he saw, didn’t feel what he felt. But you would. You had to.
Homelander let out a hollow chuckle, raising his hands in mock surrender. “You don’t understand. It’s fine, I’ll forgive you for that.” His tone dripped with condescension as if he were talking to a child. He then pointed between the two of you, his expression hardening. “You and me—we belong together. Which makes you mine.”
You stared at him, completely lost, your mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. The confusion in your eyes only seemed to amuse him further. You were so oblivious, so innocent, and it both frustrated and thrilled him. Finally, you managed to speak, your voice soft and uncertain. “I thought you were interested in Firecracker.”
Homelander’s face scrunched up in pure disgust, his lip curling as if you had just said something vile. “What? No. Ew. No.”
“Oh,” you mumbled, looking around as if there were hidden cameras capturing this bizarre moment, half-expecting this to be some kind of elaborate joke. “Oh.”
Then you turned back to him, your wide eyes filled with genuine surprise, lips pouting slightly as you asked, “You… like me?”
The way you said it—so innocent, so utterly unaware—made his chest tighten. Like wasn’t even close to what he felt for you. He needed you. You were everything he’d been waiting for, the one pure thing in a world full of filth and betrayal. But the fact that you couldn’t even comprehend why someone like him would be interested in you… It only made his obsession stronger.
He smiled, soft and almost tender, his previous irritation and jealousy melting away in the face of your cluelessness. “Like doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he murmured, his voice lower now, dripping with an intensity that sent a shiver through the air. He stepped closer, his gaze locking onto yours with an unsettling focus. “You’re perfect. You’re everything.”
He reached out, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture intimate but laced with possessiveness. “You just don’t see it yet. But you will.”
You blinked up at him, still dazed, still confused, your mind struggling to process what was happening. But in his mind, it was already decided. You were his—had been from the moment he laid eyes on you. And soon enough, you’d understand that too.
Homelander cupped your face as though you were the most delicate thing in existence, his touch surprisingly gentle for someone capable of such monstrous strength. His heart raced as he leaned in, finally close enough to taste the softness of your lips—something he’d craved for what felt like an eternity. He could already imagine how perfect you’d feel, how right it would be.
But before his lips could meet yours, your hand quickly covered his mouth. "Wait," you said, eyes wide with sudden embarrassment.
His eyes snapped open, irritation flashing in them, his impatience barely concealed. "What?" he grunted, his voice muffled by your hand.
You hesitated, biting your lip nervously, avoiding his intense gaze as you finally explained, “My lips… they’re poisonous.”
His brows furrowed in confusion, and you removed your hand, looking even more embarrassed. “They contain a toxin,” you said softly, as if confessing a dark secret. “It gives anyone who kisses me a high, raises their heart rate until they get a heart attack… and die.”
A heavy silence followed as you waited for his reaction, expecting rejection or disgust. But Homelander’s eyes gleamed with something entirely different. Instead of pulling away, he just shrugged as if the danger you posed was trivial to him. "Fuck it," he muttered with a smirk, his hands tightening around your cheeks.
Before you could protest again, he pulled you into a kiss, his lips crashing against yours with a hunger that bordered on madness.
The moment your lips met, Homelander let out a low, primal groan of pleasure. The sensation of your mouth against his was everything he’d imagined—and more. He could feel the toxin you had warned him about seeping into his bloodstream, but instead of fear, it only fueled the euphoria rushing through him. His tongue forced its way into your mouth, deepening the kiss, his desire consuming every rational thought.
The high from your poison made him feel invincible, like every dark, twisted part of him was being set free. The world outside—its chaos, its disappointments, its endless betrayals—faded into nothing. All that mattered was you. He felt light, weightless, as though he could fly to the edge of the universe with you in his arms.
And as the toxin worked its way through his system, the sensation of bliss became all-consuming. He didn’t just want to kiss you—he wanted to devour you, to possess you completely, body and soul. Every kiss, every taste of you, made the thought of losing you unbearable.
He deepened the kiss, his grip on your face tightening, every muscle in his body screaming with pleasure. He didn’t care about the risk, didn’t care that you could kill him. In that moment, he belonged to you, utterly and completely, and he’d die a thousand deaths for this feeling. The darkness inside him surged, but for once, it didn’t feel like a curse. With you, it felt like freedom.
Homelander had never been high in his entire existence, but if this was what it felt like—well, it was fucking spectacular. Every nerve in his body buzzed with euphoria, his muscles relaxed in a way that felt almost foreign to him, and everything around him suddenly seemed amusing, even absurd. He laughed—really laughed—as he flew the two of you back to Vought Tower, the wind whipping through his hair as if the world itself couldn’t touch him.
When he landed on your balcony, a wide grin stretched across his face, a rare glint of pure joy in his eyes. You looked up at him, bemused, as he stumbled slightly, his usually poised demeanor replaced with a boyish charm. He couldn’t stop smiling. “How long does this last?” he asked, his voice light with the toxin’s effects.
You chuckled softly as you led him inside, your touch warm and steady while his hands wandered over you, unable to keep still. “Max? Maybe two hours before the average human dies,” you murmured with a teasing smile.
He let out a breathless laugh, his hand still brushing against your waist, intoxicated not just by the toxin but by you. “How many people have you done this to?” he asked, voice low as he buried his nose in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. It was almost possessive, his need to absorb every part of you.
You leaned back slightly, a soft sigh escaping your lips. “Two… high school boyfriends.”
Homelander’s hands slid over your body, but then something caught his eye—a small jar on the kitchen island. His gaze sharpened instantly, curiosity piqued. “What’s that?” he asked, tone suddenly playful but underlined with a dangerous edge as his fingers drifted toward the jar.
He could feel the tension in your body before he even turned to face you fully, sensing the shift in the air. His smile twisted into something more predatory as he turned to you, eyes glinting with amusement and a hint of menace. “Look here,” he started, his voice low and smooth, “since we’re now officially together—”
“Officially?” you murmured, your eyes slightly hazy from his intoxicating presence, a dreamy smile playing on your lips.
He scrunched his nose in a mock expression of annoyance. “Yeah, officially. And there’s one thing you should know about me—I hate secrets. Can’t fucking stand 'em.”
You flushed, your face heating with embarrassment as you shifted on your feet, clearly reluctant to answer. “It’s… nipple cream,” you mumbled.
Homelander raised an eyebrow, his expression uncharacteristically patient, though the intensity in his eyes never wavered. “I can see that,” he said, his voice slow, almost mocking. He leaned closer, a smirk tugging at his lips. “But why do you need it?”
You hesitated, then looked away shyly before finally answering, “I lactate.”
For the first time in a long time, pure shock crossed Homelander’s face. His smile faded, replaced by an unreadable expression as your words sank in. Lactate? He couldn’t process it at first, the information almost short-circuiting his mind. “What?” he asked, his voice lower now, the question almost a growl.
You swallowed, explaining softly, “Just like how some plants and fruits produce milk… ever since I got my first cycle, I’ve been producing milk too.”
Homelander’s throat went dry, his eyes dropping instinctively to your breasts as his thoughts spun wildly. “Only during your cycle?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“No,” you admitted, your voice softer still. “Every single day since I got my cycle.”
A long pause hung in the air between you, the weight of your revelation settling in. Homelander’s heart pounded, and for a moment, the effects of the toxin couldn’t compare to the sheer awe and hunger he felt. His gaze drifted back up to meet yours, and something primal flickered in his eyes.
“Oh,” he murmured, a slow smile creeping back onto his face, but this time, it wasn’t just euphoria driving it. No, this—this was something deeper.
Somehow, impossibly, you had just become even more perfect in his eyes.
Reader's Aesthetic

(only her supe name is Pink Dahlia)
Hope you enjoyed!
#homelander x reader#homelander#the boys#homelander x you#homelander x y/n#antony starr#the boys x reader#homelander fanfiction
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Hello so I have a Daisuke x reader request if you don't mind! I loved the make out story you did and so if you don't mind Daisuke and reader making out an Daisuke bitting HARD on reader skin like this 😨 hard so hard that the EVERYONE could notice it and how it go to that point like if you don't mind
You don't have to do! If you don't want! Have a nice day!
Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader
Warnings: BITING; marking; hickeys, SUGGESTIVE (kinda nsfw, so mdni I guess??), cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): I had a little bit too much fun writing this😨 THIS IS SO GROSS AND CRINGE WHAT DO I DO😣 Btw I like, haven't posted a fic in so long lol, I'm really sorry and all, I'm a bit late🤠 -> m.list
Daisuke's hands were both on opposite sides of your head, your legs wrapped around his waist and hands thrown loosely over his shoulders.
His lips were pressed to yours in a deep, heated kiss. He gently bit your bottom lip, as if asking for you to open your mouth. You let out a soft gasp and slowly parted your lips, his tongue immediately finding its way inside and twirling around with your own.
After a few moments, he pulled away, panting. You were breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as you stared at him, watching him gaze back at you with love filling his eyes. You adored the way his hair fell down and over his face most of the time when he was looking down at you, when you were in the same exact position as you were in right now.
Daisuke smiled at you, his face burying into your neck as he started leaving soft kisses down to your shoulder. You chuckled at the ticklish sensation, with the way his lips barely hovered onto your skin, lightly pressing kisses. One of his hands went to hold onto your waist, the other supporting him.
His gentle kisses slowly turned to sucking, earning whines from you. He left a few faint red marks on your shoulders that would surely fade away in a few hours, luckily not too visible.
Daisuke trailed his kisses to your jaw, your hands tangling in his hair. All of the sudden, he bit down on your neck, digging his teeth into your skin and drawing out a yelp from you as you pulled on his hair. He gently licked the mark, sucking to soothe the pain.
Daisuke pulled back as he chuckled, staring down at you with nothing but joy in his eyes. He admired his work, eyes scanning over the faint red splotches, until he came upon the one he just gave you a few seconds prior. It slowly turned into a dark purple spot, right on your upper neck, on display to anybody passing by.
"Sorry." He smiled at you, to wich you raised a brow in confusion.
"You might need to cover that up." He added, nuzzling his face into your neck as you slowly came to the realization that yes, he did leave a noticeable mark.
"I thought we talked about where you place your kisses." You sighed out, fighting a smile at his stupidity.
"We did?"
You shook your head, knowing it was pointless. Just how would you walk around the ship now?
...
...
You thought you were slick enough.
You pulled your uniform collar a bit higher, covering over the mark perfectly.
What you didn't know, was that if you even tilted your head slightly, it would be completely evident.
...
...
CURLY
You were hurrying out of Daisuke's room, hoping not to be seen by others, scanning the area and making sure no one was there.
You fixed up your hair a bit, pulling the collar of your uniform higher.
Your shoes tapped on the floor, rushing through the hallways. You weren't even looking up ahead, eyes glued to your feet.
You raised your head just in time to prevent yourself from crashing into your captain, forcing your legs to stop abruptly.
You smiled nervously, looking at him and giving a short nod as a greeting, to wich he reciprocated.
Although his eyes seemed to linger on you for a while longer, his brows furrowing as he studied you.
"You okay?" He asked, his expression one of curiosity and hesitance.
"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be?" You replied, your brow arching in confusion.
"No reason... Carry on." He nodded, giving an unsure smile as he walked away, leaving you dumbstruck.
...
It HAD to have been a hickey. He knew it too well. He was aware of how one looked like... But that mark specifically looked more like teeth marks to him. As if someone bit down onto you.
Curly was a bit perplexed. He didn't remember there being a rule against relationships among the crew... But then again, who was it?
His suspicion was aimed at Daisuke, since you two are in close age range and always hang out together.
JIMMY
Your feet dragged on the floor lazily, humming to yourself on your way to meet Anya.
Just then, you saw Jimmy walking towards your direction. You didn't like Jimmy.
You almost rolled your eyes, but you gave a quick wave so he doesn't think you're an asshole.
He gave a nod back, before stopping briefly to look at you. He stared you down, eyes going wide and a frown forming on his lips.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked in disgust, studying you.
You raised a brow as you tilted your head to the side in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
He sighed and shook his head, looking straight ahead again.
"Nevermind... slut." He mumbled the last part, chuckling as he walked away.
You swore you heard him insult you, but you just didn't hear him well enough, therefore there was no evidence.
...
He knew DAMN WELL.
Fingers pointed proudly at Daisuke.
Jimmy always had a feeling you two were a bit TOO close, not co-workers type of close, neither friends type of close.
He just didn't expect the dumbass to have a chance, let alone manage to get into your pants.
ANYA
After all of those uncomfortable encounters and awkward situations, you finally stopped in front of the medical room, where Anya was currently working.
Before you could enter, Anya herself came out of the room, a bit surprised to see you there as she flinched, before smiling quickly.
"Oh, you scared me..." She spoke, her eyes studying your face before they stopped at a specific spot.
Her brows furrowed a little, seeming concerned.
"Are you alright?" She asked, thinking it was maybe a rash, or possibly even allergies.
"Hm? Why wouldn't I be?" You questioned, squinting your eyes at her.
Everybody's been acting weird today...
Anya's eyes widened for a brief second as she took a closer look, her lips parting before they shut closed. She felt a weird burning feeling through her chest, and her mind just fogged up. Did something bad happen to you?
But you seemed happy... Maybe a little tense, but happy nonetheless. She thought back to all the times she's caught you and Daisuke in each other's rooms, brushing it off as just "friends talk", or all the times she's seen you two chatting a bit too smug in the hallways, also every single time she's heard you two flirt with each other. The corners of her mouth were fighting for life, trying to hold back a smile.
"No, nevermind, I think you should check up on that." She suggested, patting your shoulder and walking past you.
"Wait, I wanted to tell you something!"
"Check up on Daisuke while you're at it..." She whispered to herself, letting out a quiet giggle.
Your brows raised, lips forming a thin line. Just what the hell was going on?
...
It was hard to believe that YOU would actually do such a thing. She just couldn't think of her friend doing stuff like this.
She knew all too well it was Daisuke.
Another thing is that she was incredibly shocked at the fact that Daisuke managed to leave such a mark on you, she pondered for a while and came to the conclusion that it must've hurt like hell.
SWANSEA
You felt weird, getting scanned by your crew members' eyes and maybe even judged by some.
So why not try and find Daisuke, pretty much the only person who know how to comfort you best?
Of course, he'd be with Swansea.
You opened the door, but your boyfriend wasn't there, only the same grumpy man.
"What do you want?" Swansea asked, before turning to look at you.
"Just looking for Daisuke." You replied, taking a quick glance around the room.
"Are you okay?" He asked, squinting his eyes at you.
"Everyone's been asking me that, I don't get it!" You didn't bother responding, your brows furrowing as you started getting a bit irritated.
"Pull up your collar or something. Damn animals..." He muttered that last part, going back to his work as you stood there in utter shock.
So that's what was wrong.
...
Swansea already knew it. All too well.
Daisuke was just praising you so much, talking his ear off, mentioning every single detail you had.
Since the airhead can't keep secrets too well, he managed to accidentally spill it out one day.
But it wasn't like Swansea didn't know, he's caught you two together a couple of times, he just never talked about it.
...
You felt your cheeks heat up as you tugged harshly on your collar to pull it up, wanting the ship to crash right at this moment.
Screw you Daisuke. Screw your boyfriend for embarrassing you in front of everyone.
★yoyomiko ★miko
#reader#x reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing anya#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing x reader#daisuke x female reader#daisuke smut#daisuke x reader#daisuke x you#daisuke x y/n#daisuke#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing smut#x you#★yoyomiko#★miko
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are you still awake?

Chris and y/n had a stupid fight, but he refuses to go to bed angry
part two
vibe check: fluffy and suggestive towards the end, softie!chris, mentions of fighting etc, you get the jist bro
900 words
A/N: I LOVE CHRIS he's so fricken cute I wanna pull my hair out. kid said he can't go to bed angry at his brothers and I died. anyways enjoy this blurb of my little angel baby princess
love and cigs, merc
You and Chris were laying back to back in his bedroom, feet tangled in each others at the foot of the bed. The room was completely dark, a light patter of warm LA rain creating the perfect atmosphere in the room for you to slip into a peaceful sleep. You were stretched out in his bed, hugging the cold side of your pillow as you dozed off, having had a long and stressful day, all you wanted to do was sleep.
Chris on the other hand, was wide awake. He had been tossing and turning for hours, unable to quiet his mind. Earlier that day, you guys had a stupid argument that was so pointless you didn't even remember how it started. After a back and forth of who's right and who's wrong, you took off in a huff and told Chris you were going to bed, because you couldn't be bothered to argue with him anymore. In the moment, he didn't care, angry enough to let you fall asleep by yourself.
But that was earlier, and after he crawled into bed, the sight of you peacefully tucked up in his sheets stripped him of any lingering anger, and all he wanted was to make sure that you were okay.
"baby" Chris whispered, turning to place a gentle hand on the side of your shoulder.
you didn't respond, only hugged the pillow tighter with a soft groan.
"baby" he repeated, "are you still awake?"
you groaned slightly, face smushed against your pillow as your eyes fluttered, "I am now, Chris"
Chris' arm gently wrapped around your waist and he peppered soft kisses on your bare shoulder, "I can't sleep after what happened earlier" he said softly.
"what are you talking about?" you sighed, turning round to face him, desperately trying to pry your eyes open.
He hovered over you, brushing your bed tangled hair from your face, "I can't go to sleep if I know we're not okay"
A long exhale left your nose as you rolled your eyes slightly, "we're fine, Chris, please go to sleep" you said, attempting to turn back to your comfortable position.
Chris couldn't accept that, he pulled you by the shoulder back over to face him, "what if tonight is the night one of us dies in our sleep? d'you really want to have to go on knowing that our last conversation was a fight?"
You tiredly chuckled, "you're ridiculous" you said, rolling your eyes slightly as a smile crept its way onto your face.
" m'serious, baby, I can't sleep knowing we're not good" he whined slightly, "m'sorry for everything I said, y'know I didn't mean it"
Your hand found his face in the dark, the light from the moon illuminating his soft features slightly as it crept its way through his blinds. An uncontrollable smile lingered on your lips as he pushed his cheek further into your touch.
"I'm sorry too, my love, it was stupid"
Chris grinned and lowered his lips to yours, pressing a soft and tender kiss over them, his hand hooked round your jaw. He broke the kiss gently, rubbing a caring thumb over your cheek as he did.
"can I go back to sleep now?" you muttered, your tiredness creeping back up on you.
"yes, baby, go to sleep, I love you" Chris replied, shifting so he was tucked behind you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him so tight you'd think he was afraid you'd slip away
"I love you more" you said with a sleepy groan, nestling yourself back into him, his frame engulfing you in a comfortable warmth.
"not possible" he whispered, pressing a loving kiss onto your shoulder.
You let out a tired hum at his words, pushing back into him even more as your legs intertwined with his. The feeling of your skin against his, your nearly bare ass pressing back into him and the sound of your sleepy whines all going straight to his crotch. The blood in his body started to rush downwards, and he found himself absentmindedly grinding his hips against the soft flesh of your ass.
His movements brought you back out of your approaching slumber and you instinctively pushed back against his now painfully hard length, the feeling of his hard cock making you giggle slightly.
"Really, Chris? now?" you whispered
Chris groaned slightly, grinding into you harder, "I cant help it, baby, y'know how I get after our post fight make up convos" he whined, referring to how every time you guys would fight and make up, you telling him that you loved him and that everything was okay just did something to him.
You brought your hand up behind you and raked it through his long curls, tugging at the root slightly as you massaged his scalp, giving in and grinding your ass back against his movements
The sensation made Chris whimper, and he began to nip and suck at your neck, "s'that a yes?" he said, still grinding into you
you chuckled, moving your hand down to palm him over his boxers, "yes, Chris, but you're doing all the work" your words muffled by your pillow.
Chris' hips bucked up into your hand, a boyish excitement filling his brain "s'fine by me, baby, you don't have to move at all, I jus wanna put it in for a lil, need t'feel you around me"
A/N: smutty part two? lmk
taglist: @sturniozalt @mattslolita @shaquilles-0atmeal @blahbel668 @sleepysturniolo @le4hsblog
#©sturnsdarling#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut
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study date - j.g
"angel- i-"
"shush."
you were barely letting jason get a word out, relentlessly kissing him, alternating between his face and his lips whenever he tried to stop you. he tried to be stern and make you focus, but he was smiling and kissing you back the entire time, so it was primarily pointless. he leaned back against the headboard, book tossed aside, almost giving into you before coming back to his senses.
grabbing your face between his hands and pulling away, jason pleads with you, "angel, i'm serious, please, i have a test tomorrow."
you huff, "jace, you've been studying all day. and it's your fault you look pretty when i kiss you and you turn red."
at your words, jason turns impossibly redder. with a final kiss on your lips, he says, "i will kiss you as much as you want, for as long as you want after my test. please?"
you sigh out dramatically and climb off his lap, saying, "sorry for helping you relax, maybe i'll try not caring about my boyfriend next time."
he chuckles and shakes his head, going back to his textbook. leaving you staring at his stupidly gorgeous face.
"y/n.... are you going to look at me all day?" jason mutters without looking up, fighting a smile.
"yes, why?" you quip unabashedly, reaching to push his glasses up his nose.
"this was supposed to be a study date."
"study date, key word: date."
"study date, key word: study," jason replies with a light laugh.
you laugh with him and lean your head on his shoulder, tangling your arm with his. you flip a little through your own book, but eventually give up and absentmindedly doodle on jason's forearm. silence envelops the two of you, until jason laughs endearingly at the dinosaur tattoo you gave him.
"i'm never studying with you again," he mumbles into your hair, placing a sweet kiss on your temple.
a/n : this is too short but tbh i dont care? i kinda just want a jason to study with this is me coping
#jason grace#jason grace x reader#jason grace x you#pjo x reader#jason grace imagines#riordanverse#riordanverse x reader#hoo#hoo x reader#jason grace x y/n
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Still You Want Me
Main Masterlist - Dean Masterlist
Read on A03!
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pregnancy, a little angst if you squint, pre-established relationship.
Summary/Warnings: Dean's fought the worst evil in the world, but only one thing has really managed to scare him. His pregnant wife.
Author's Note: Request from an anon!! I got emotional with it, and I'm very sorry about that but I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!
Word Count: 2.9k
“We got three hours left.” Dean returned to the parked Impala, sorting through the bags in his hands. “But we can make it back in two if I-“
Sam shook his head, taking his bag of bird feed—trail mix, but the pointless kind without any M&Ms—from Dean with a frown. “Two’s a bit stretch, don’t you think? I mean even for you, Dean, and it’s not like we’re in a rush-“
“You’re not in a rush, Sammy.” Dean muttered, dumping the rest of the snacks in the backseat. “I got a pregnant wife who’s left me three voicemails about how she’s either gonna castrate me or give me head, and-“
“Gross, dude.” Sam walked around the car, making a scrunched bitch-face of disgusting. “All you needed to say was that’s she’s got mood swings-“
“Don’t call them mood swings.” Dean dropped behind Baby’s wheel, saying Her name with a sigh. “She hates that. And you can’t charm your way out of like I can.”
“I think I could.” Sam shrugged. “She likes me more.”
“She’s my freakin’ wife-“
“She loves you.” Sam grabbed his phone as they pulled out of the lot. “She likes me. I’ve never been threatened with castration-“
“Yet.” Dean muttered. “Cas thought he was safe until he got a shade of yellow that was too red for the nursery. I mean, yellow is yellow, Sammy, but she threatened to cut off his wings-“
Sam frowned. “I don’t think she could do that-“
“Trust me, man.” Dean sighed, running a hand over his face. “She’d find a way.”
Sam just nodded, because they both knew Dean was right. He was pretty goddamn sure that, if She wanted—or if Dean pissed Her off enough—She’d figure out how to send him somewhere worse than the Empty, bring him back, then start sobbing and apologizing on Her knees all within a ten-minute span. Then She’d probably give him a blowjob, he’d saying the exact wrong dirty talk, and she’d bite off Little Dean. Shit, he’d only been gone four days for the hunt, but half that time had been spent on the phone, reassuring Her he was being safe, the hunt wasn’t a part of any world-ending scheme from a new big bad, and he’d be home soon. The time that Dean wasn’t on the phone, Sam was, promising he wouldn’t let anything happen, that Dean was sleeping well and looking at the baby names list She’d sent, and that he’d called Eileen so she wouldn’t worry either.
Annoyingly, Sam had been keeping his promises to Her. Dean read the baby names list because Sam wouldn’t let him leave the table until he did, Eileen had gotten two calls, and Dean was being safer than he’d ever been in his freaking life. At this point, he was pretty sure the pregnancy was just one long scam to make him take care of himself. He was drinking and hunting less after Her breakdown that she’d lose him, driving a little slower—just a little, he wasn’t a blind old lady—after the ice incident got him the silent treatment for three days, and he’d even tried some of Sam’s rabbit food. He’d spat it out, but he’d tried it. For Her, for the baby, and because he was terrified for his life.
Dean loved Her more than every pie in the freaking universe, but She was freaking terrifying right now. She might be the only thing he’d ever really been afraid of. Planes he could avoid. Ghosts and monster he could kill. Hell, even Lucifer had been better. At least the son of a bitch hadn’t begged to give Dean a hand job, then started sobbing because Dean tried to move it to sex and they didn’t feel pretty enough for sex. And if Lucifer had done that, Dean wouldn’t have cared. He didn’t give a shit about Lucifer.
But he gave a shit about Her. Every time She cried it felt like someone was stabbing him, but he had less and less of a damn clue for how to help her the more pregnant She got. She’d said she felt ugly, he’d told Her she was beautiful, and that her tits looked better than ever, and She’d started accusing him of not loving her tits before. He’d missed one phone call and She’d sent Cas to teleport him home. He’d gotten the wrong candy bar and She’d had a breakdown about him not loving her enough to get the right one.
That last one was why the gas station had taken so long. Dean had triple checked every single snack he’d bought, and added a few extras just in case she changed Her mind. He’d even had Cas text him a second list after She’d told him all her requests over the phone, out of fear that he’d missed even a single one. Even now, on the road, he was running through everything one last time, because he’d gotten five different Gatorade colors, but maybe She’d want a sixth, or two of the same color, or only one color and he’d get yelled at because She didn’t even like orange-
“Hey!” Sam pulled Dean out of his thoughts with a shout. “Phone!”
“Wha-“
Sam said Her name, holding Dean’s phone in front of his face. “She’s calling you-“
“I got that.” Dean snatched the phone, shooting Sam a glare. “And that’s not safe, Sammy. Gonna get us fuckin’ killed-“
“Yeah, sure, Dean.” Sam just shrugged—even though Dean was right, that was dangerous—and nodded to the phone. “I’d pick up if I were you-“
“Shut up.” Dean muttered, ignoring Sam’s laugh as he answered the call. “Hey, baby, we’re-“
“Dean!” Her voice was a half-shriek through the phone, and Dean winced. “Holy shit, you’re alive, that’s good-“
“Course I’m alive, I promised I would be-“
“But it’s not up to you!” She was pacing. Her voice had grown frantic and high, so She was pacing. “Monsters don’t ask before they kill you, and they’d defiantly want to kill you, and Sam told me he’d take that bullet but I don’t want him to die either, and you’re both amazing hunters but if you die now, you can’t come back, and I’d miss you, I miss you now, why aren’t you home, you dick, I fucking hate you-“
Dean swallowed, saying Her name slowly as Sam snickered at his side. Asshole. “Take a breath-“
“Don’t tell me how to breathe, Winchester, I’ve been breathing my whole fucking life-“
“I know, sweetheart, I have too-“
“You’ve never had to breathe while pregnant-“
“And I’m not planning to, ever, but- just listen-“
“We should get you pregnant, it’s only fair-“
Sam started to cackle, Her voice loud enough he could obviously hear every word. It wasn’t really helpful.
“That’s not gonna happen,” Dean muttered, giving Sam a death glare that just made him laugh more. “Sweetheart, we’ll be there soon. I promise.“
“Okay, but don’t go too fast, if you’re far, because you promised me you’d drive carefully, and you need to be safer. I don’t want to lose you.” She started to sniffle. Shit. “I can’t lose you, De, I need you, the baby needs you, and Sam and Cas are cool but they’re not you and I want you and the baby wants you. It wants you more, it hates when your gone, it just keeps kicking me and if you die I’ll be a terrible mother with a baby who hates me-“
Dean snapped Her name, pressing the Impala’s pedal to the floor. He needed to be home soon. “Listen to me. I’m not gonna do anything stupid like die, and you’re never gonna lose me. Plus, our baby won’t hate you. It’s half me. It can’t.”
There was a slightly static hum from the other side, and Dean sighed.
“I know you miss me, baby, and we can get you whatever you’re craving, but-“
“I do miss you, De.” Her voice was soft and pleading through the phone.
But it wasn’t Her crying voice. That was her-
“I miss your cock, too. I miss touching you, and why is your bed so stupid and big-“
Dean chuckled, shaking off the whiplash. “Because I’m stupid and big-“
He could hear Her pout through the phone. “Don’t say that. You’re not stupid, and our baby’s gonna be a genius-“
“Because they’ll get their brains from you, pretty girl.”
“Shut up.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Dean leaned slightly forward, checking a highway sign. “Hour and a half, okay? Then I’ll be home.”
“Fine.” She mumbled. “I love you. Be careful.”
“I love you too, baby. And I’m always safe.” Dean waited for Her sigh, letting her hang up first. He’d learned to do that the hard way. “Not a word, Sammy, or I’ll shoot you.”
Sam raised his hands, palms up. “I didn’t even open my- got it.”
Dean turned his scowl back to the road, and he could be safe and get home in an hour. Both could be possible, and She’d never have to know that he’d been going 15 over the speed limit. And if She started to catch on, Dean could distract Her with his hands and dick and mouth, because—as hot as she was when she was pissed—Sam said stress wasn’t good for the baby.
They made it forty-five minutes of mostly safe driving—Dean’s hands gripping the wheel and listening to the music at a deafening volume, Sam texting Eileen and pretending he wasn’t bothered by the deafening music—before another incident.
Cas appeared in the back seat, said Her name instead of hello, Dean—already a bad sign—and looked almost genuinely scared. Dean had never seen his face do that before—red and sheepish like a child being scolded by a dinosaur—and it was a little off-putting.
He was used to Cas doing this enough to not swerve off the road, but he was still pissed. “Fucking hell, Cas, a warning would be nice-“
Cas frowned, then leaned forward, turning down the music. “Did you not hear what I said.”
“No, the music was on, I know you said-“
Cas said Her name again with Dean. “It was her message. I would, ah, prefer not to repeat it.”
Sam blinked, turning in his seat. “Why, is she-“
“She is well.” Cas’ eyes stayed on Dean in the rearview mirror. “She is feeling some very… confusing emotions. Towards Dean.”
Sam frowned. “Confusing? How-“
“She told me to relay to Dean that she hates him, and she hates hunting, and if he’s not home in forty-five minutes she’ll leave him, but she can’t leave him because she loves him more than life and she cannot live without him. Specifically his smile, voice, hands, stupid flirting that did this in the first place, and,” Cas swallowed, his voice dropping slightly as his face grew red. “Big cock.”
Dean smirked slightly—she was a menace, but damn it if he didn’t love his girl—as Sam paled next to him.
“By this,” Cas mumbled. “I assume she was referring to the baby. Which is in good health. I checked this morning.”
“Good. Thanks, Cas, but,” Dean sighed. “This could’ve been a phone call-“
“I was instructed to deliver it in person. To make sure you were safe, and driving carefully.” Cas leaned forward with a frown. “The speed limit on this highway is meant to be-“
“I know what the speed limit is.” Dean grumbled, refusing to ease his foot off the gas. “I’m tryin’ to get home, Cas.”
“I believe she would prefer you get home slower, rather than sacrificing your safety.” Cas let out a long sigh. “Although, I will admit I’d prefer you return quickly. I am not equipped to handle a pregnant woman alone, despite reading all of the books on the subject I could find. And, uh,” Cas said Her name with a red face. “Is frightening in this state.”
Dean sighed. “Thirty minutes, dude, can you hold down the fort-“
“He could take you now?” Sam cut in with a small frown. “Cas could zap you back to the bunker, and I could drive Baby home.”
“Sammy-“
Cas nodded. “I agree with Sam’s plan. If you could pull over, Dean-“
“I’m not gonna pull over!” Dean snapped. “I can get back just fine myself!”
“But I could-“
“You won’t always be there, Cas.” Dean grunted through his teeth. “I gotta be able to take care of my family by myself. Shit, I’m doing all the safety bullcrap for it, and I’m hunting less.” He said Her name, his grip on the wheel painful. “She’s gotta know I can take care of her, and the baby. I said I’d drive home, so-“
Sam cut Dean off a sigh. “Dude, she’s gonna care way more that you’re home with her.”
“Sam is correct.” Cas said, and Dean could feel his gaze through the mirror. “I attempted to make her breakfast this morning, and she started crying. When asked, she told me that you make it better.” Cas frowned. “It was cereal.”
“C’mon, man. Let Cas take you home.”
Dean glanced over to find Sam giving him puppy eyes—the bitch—and groaned. “Fine. But if I see one scratch on Baby-“
“You’ll kill me, yeah, I know.” Sam unbuckled as Dean pulled over, not sounding nearly threatened enough. “Let’s move.”
It took a minute for Dean to get all the snacks, but the moment the last bag was in his arms Cas grabbed him by the shoulder, the world because a spinning rush, and he was home.”
“Dean!”
He was barely on steady legs when She slammed into him, sending him stumbling slightly back as his arms wrapped around her, careful not to push too far into the baby bump.
“Hey, Sweetheart. I heard you missed me-“
“Of course I missed you, you asshole!” She pushed off of him, shoving his chest slightly. “Do you have any idea how many pies are just rotting in the fridge for you! You said the hunt would be fast, Dean, but I was stuck alone for four fucking days-“
Dean frowned. “Wasn’t Cas-“
“Cas doesn’t count!” She screamed, and over her shoulder, Cas didn’t look that offended. He’d probably gotten this outburst—and the following, tearful apology—at least twice already. “Cas isn’t you! He didn’t knock me up and then leave me-“
Dean thought about pointing out that he had not left Her, but thought better of it and let her keep shouting. She usually calmed herself down.
Usually.
“And Cas is an angel, and he’s been okay, and I feel so bad because I was such a bitch to him, but he deserved it! He wasn’t you! And I missed you and I hate you, Dean, I fucking hate you, why weren’t you home-“
Dean caught Her hands in his, pressing a gentle kiss to Her knuckles. “I’m home now, baby-“
“I know.” She whispered, crumbling in half a second into Dean, clinging to him like a koala. “And I missed you so much, De. I can’t do the laundry with this stupid bump, I can’t do anything, I’m useless and I’m a bitch and I think made Cas cry-“
“I’d pay to see you make Cas cry,” Dean muttered Her name, running a slow hand through her hair. “And you’re not useless. You’re growing a person, that freaking awesome and insane-“
She tilted her head back, pretty eyes glossy and wide on Dean’s. “But what if I mess it up? What if I fuck the baby up and you leave me-“
“I’m never gonna leave you.”
“But I’ve been mean-“
“You’re always mean, baby.” Dean grinned at her, letting his affection show in his voice. “And it’s always pretty freakin’ hot. And you aren’t gonna fuck up the baby, and I’m not gonna leave you, but,” he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “If you wanna make Sammy cry a little more, I think he’ll deserve it.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling again. “I’m not making Sam cry-“
“He said you had mood swings.”
She gasped, hitting Dean’s chest. “You’re a snitch-“
“Gotta spread the love somehow.” Dean shrugged, squeezing his hands on Her as he dropped his voice down. “But I can think of a few other ways, just you and me, to spread some better love.”
She flushed—already putty in Dean’s arms—and almost dragged him back to their room.
And this made it worth it. All the screaming and flying objects and threats, all the living in cautious fear in his own damn home, was more than worth it for this. Not just the awesome sex—sex was always awesome, sex with Her was better than almost anything, and sex with pregnant Her was what Dean imagined crack was like—but the way that, in the end, She smiled at him no matter what. She smiled and giggled and moaned, proving to Dean in a million ways both between the sheets and after that she didn’t really hate him, and he got to rest his head on her stomach and feel a small kick near his brow. Her fingers combed through his hair peacefully, all her noises made of content, and everything was more than worth it.
Worth pushing through the worst of the screaming and moods—just like She’d pushed through all of his world-saving bullshit—to see Her peaceful face as she slept by his side. Worth letting Sam drive the Impala just once, so Dean could get home faster.
Worth the family he was finally getting to have, and being here with them.
End Note: Sam Winchester once again being a true trooper in my stories.
Title from Next to Me by Imagine Dragons
If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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#x reader#reader insert#romance#canon typical violence#jensen ackles#jensen ackles characters#godmadeaterribleerror#dean winchester x you#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#sam winchester#dean x reader#dean x you#dean fanfiction#dean if you want a hug I'm free saturday#request#tw blood#pregnancy#tooth rotting fluff#fluff
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Irresponsible [Lando Norris x reader]
description: Lando has an irrational fear of a cab driver kidnapping you once- Or something like that.
Lando usually didn’t mind when you went out without him. You had your own group of friends in Monaco, and as long as your best friend, Sasha was there, Lando didn’t worry much. He really liked her because she was nice and responsible even when she drank, keeping you away from trouble.
What he did mind, however, was you taking a cab home alone. It didn’t matter how safe Monaco was or how many times you had done it before - just the thought of you, possibly even drunk, sitting in the back of a stranger’s car made his stomach twist. What if the driver wasn’t who they seemed? What if something happened, and he wasn’t there? Lando knew it was probably just in his head, but that didn’t make it any easier. It was the one thing he hated about your nights out - waiting for that text saying you were home safe, hoping that nothing had gone wrong.
At least now that Lando finally had a whole week at home, he didn’t have to worry about that, and he could just pick you up himself. Besides training, he still had tons of work to do on his laptop, so he was busy, but he was available.
He didn’t mute his phone when he went to sleep as he usually did, so you could reach him whenever you wanted. However, when you left you noticed how exhausted he looked, so you didn’t want to bother him. At 2 a.m. you were more than ready to leave, and that was when you noticed your credit card was almost empty. You had two credit cards, one to use in your day-to-day life and another one for clubbing.
You didn’t want to wake Lando, but eventually you had to. He was fast asleep when his phone rang. He picked it up half asleep when he saw your number come up. Sitting up, he wiped his eyes and yawned. “Hey babe, is everything okay?”
“Uhm, hi, sorry to wake you up,” you started.
“No, no,” he said, slowly coming to his senses. “It's okay,” he added with a yawn. “What is it, love?”
“Could you maybe send some money to my blue card?” you sighed. Lando knew exactly what you meant as he used the same method when going out. If the card got lost or stolen, it was a much better situation when it was not the majority of your money disappearing.
Lando stifled a sigh as he turned the light on. “Why, did you forget to transfer money again?” he asked while he opened the bank app on his phone. Lando was a bit annoyed at you for being careless with your stuff again, but he sent some money to you anyway.
“I’m sorry,” you replied, noticing the tone of his voice immediately.
“Don’t apologize, just try to pay attention the next time.” He suppressed another yawn. “Are you guys going to stay out?”
“No, I was just about to call a cab,” you explained.
He was silent for a minute, then you could hear the soft ruffling of the sheets as he moved. “Why didn’t you call me before? I would have come to pick you up.”
“Cause you needed rest,” you mumbled. You knew he didn’t like it when you took a cab, so you expected the question.
“Well, I'm up now, so I don't think it matters anyway,” Lando said with a hint of sarcasm. “I would have come to pick you up at any time for you, love, you know that,” he added, trying to sound sincere. He didn't want to pick a fight now that he was awake, but it was a bit of a sensitive spot for him. Lando didn't like that you would just jump into a car with a stranger. He worried about your safety more than you realised.
“I know,” you sighed.
There was a brief silence on the line. Lando knew you were being considerate by not calling him earlier, yet he couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated. He wanted to voice that but held back, knowing it would lead to a pointless argument. “Where are you, anyway?” he asked instead.
“At Aurora. We're still inside at the smoking area cause it's quiet and warm here,” you added. “Why?”
“Just wondering. Aurora is on the other side of the city, and at this time of night I'd rather not send you in a random cab,” Lando replied, his concern growing. “Are the girls with you?”
“Yes, they are. But you really don't need to come,” you pushed.
Lando knew you were trying to not bother him, but he also knew that this was pointless to argue about. Besides, he would be restless if he just stayed home now that he was up. “I'm coming,” he said with a finality in his voice.
“Baby…” you sighed.
Lando was already getting up and putting on some clothes. “Stop protesting, Y/N. Half of the cab drivers barely even speak English here,” he retorted. “You’ve been drinking, you’re wearing that small dress, and you’re- You’re not going to call a cab. Just stay inside. I’ll be there soon.”
For a moment, you didn’t know how to reply. You could hear the frustration in his voice, but it somehow warmed your heart. “I love you,” you spoke eventually.
“Love you, too. See you at the club,” he added before he ended the call.
He didn’t know how to explain what he felt. It was just that- So many things in his life could be taken away within a second. And he barely had anything stable to hold onto, considering how much he had to travel. He knew what people and social media were capable of, and he was just so afraid of you getting hurt. You’ve been dating over three years now, so his followers knew who you were, and he was also aware that people didn’t always have good intentions.
Twenty minutes later he was parked outside the club. He called you, so you quickly grabbed your belongings, hugged the girls goodbye, and then hurried to his car. You sat in and closed the door behind yourself.
Lando winced at the sound. “Hey, careful.”
He had taught you not to smack the door of his car, but apparently you were too drunk to notice or remember.
“Oh, sorry,” you bit on your lip when you realized what you had done.
You checked your phone to see the time, and that was when you saw the notification of your bank application. You frowned and checked your account. Lando sent you money despite that he decided to pick you up, but you only expected an amount that would cover a cab ride. You huffed when you saw the numbers.
“Baby, I wanted to call a cab for a ride home, not to buy the driver with the car,” you glanced at your boyfriend, who had just started the engine.
“Consider it as a precaution,” he replied, his eyes never leaving the road as he started driving. He was still a little frustrated. “Better safe than sorry. And you know I don’t like you being in cabs with strangers at night.”
“I know, but this is extensive. Did you think I’d have to pay a ransom for myself or what?” you sighed. “You know I have my own money, right? Just not on this card.”
“I know,” he said, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “But sometimes you can be irresponsible when it comes to money, like leaving your card behind or not checking your balance,” he said, recalling past incidents.
You just hummed. That was right.
“Besides, this most likely wouldn’t be enough for a ransom,” he added.
“I was just joking,” you mumbled. He wasn’t in a funny mood tonight.
“I know,” Lando sighed. He stepped on the break at a red light and looked at you. “Y/N, I don’t even know how to approach this anymore. I’m not saying that I would pick you up because I’m trying to be nice. I’m saying it because I’d much rather pick you up by myself than wait until some creep kidnaps you. I know, you’re a strong, independent woman, but can’t you just let me have it my way for once?”
Your eyes widened slightly at his words. “No one is going to kidnap me.”
“Y/N,” he pressed. “Please. Seriously.”
You couldn’t force back a small smile. Even though he could annoy you to death by being overprotective sometimes, he was still very cute.
“Okay,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. Meanwhile, the light has turned green again.
“Okay?” he glanced at you again quickly before looking back at the road.
“Yeah. Okay.”
His shoulders visibly relaxed and he sent you a small smile back. Oh, how you loved him.
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a beautiful little lie. [chapter 3] l Harry Castillo
Summary: you are the personal assistant of Harry Castillo, a wealthy entrepreneur who asks you to go with him to his friend's wedding. there you meet your ex-boyfriend and things get out of hand
Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, friends to lovers (maybe?), some wine, mentioning ex-boyfriend,
A/N: my head has been having bad days lately. it took me a long time to start this chapter and I had moments of doubt whether it makes sense at all. but here it is and although it's not perfect I'm giving it to you. I hope that at least a few people will like it. thank you for reading my scribbles.
your feedback is very important to me and I want to thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. I secretly hope you like this story.🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
[my masterlist] [Harry Castillo masterlist] [a beautiful little lie- series masterlist]
Harry Castillo: Is everything okay between us?
You: Sure! Don't worry.
He stared at those three words with childish hope, even though his insides were full of fears and worries. You were his assistant, his friend, and he really cared about you. The situation that had arisen that evening was a bit awkward, and Harry was even ready to apologize to you for it. But maybe he shouldn't have mentioned it at all?
He breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened at the appointed time and you stepped out. The dress you were wearing beautifully accentuated your figure, which moved gracefully as you walked to the car.
“Stay.” Harry said quickly to the driver and got out of the car, then went to open the door for you. “Hi. You look stunning.”
A shy smile appeared on your lips. "Thank you. You don't look too bad either." You replied.
A few seconds later, you were both sitting on the leather couch in the back of a limo as the driver drove you through the crowded city. The silence between you wasn't unbearable, but it certainly wasn't natural. You could feel Harry's quick glances at you, but it took you a few minutes to decide to say something.
"Mrs. Kruger-Waltz should be here after the weekend. I got an email this morning."
Speaking of work, a safe topic. Harry cleared his throat. “Good. Sorry you had to deal with that today, you probably had a lot of work to prepare for.”
"Not really. I just put on what was hanging somewhere in the back of my closet. You should be glad it's not my prom dress."
You both chuckled and the tense atmosphere seemed to ease a little.
"I wanted to apologize." This time, Harry spoke up. "I made you feel awkward yesterday. That could have been very uncomfortable for you."
“It’s fine, really.” You replied, looking at him as if you were waiting for him to finally end this conversation. “We know perfectly well that nothing will happen. You and I, we only work together.”
"Right. But either way... I'm sorry."
You instinctively reached out and lightly squeezed his forearm. "It's fine."
You exchanged uncertain smiles. In reality, you had all night to think about everything that had happened. The conclusion was simple - you had both succumbed to the moment, but luckily your brain reacted at the last moment before it became a disaster. It was comforting, because you really liked Harry and you didn't want something like this - stupid? irrelevant? pointless? - to ruin a really great relationship. Besides, Castillo was your boss, and no normal person kisses their boss, even if he looked like...
You quickly glanced at Harry sitting next to you. He looked really good in that suit that was tailored to his order. No matter if you saw him in a formal or casual version, the man always looked good, even though he put in minimal effort. How on earth had no woman ever kept him around for longer? It was a mystery to you.
"Get ready." He said as the car pulled up in front of the building. Brown eyes looked at you and after a moment he added. "If you want to leave, just say so. There's nothing keeping us here."
You nodded, feeling your stomach twist into knots.
Even though you and Harry had been to a few of these types of parties, you hadn't learned to behave yourself around the distinguished guests alone. Suddenly, the dress you were wearing looked cheap and boring, and you certainly weren't as pretty as most of the women there.
But Harry was always there, making sure you didn't get lost among the people and every now and then throwing in some funny remarks that relieved some of the stress.
“You have to come visit us sometime, Harry. L.A. will give you everything you want.” Mr. Murphy, the older man Castillo was talking to, patted him on the shoulder paternally. “And bring your lovely companion. Have you ever been to the City of Angels, young lady?”
You smiled at him over your glass of champagne. “I haven’t had the chance.” Harry shot you a quick, furtive glance. “But I trust your word, it’s certainly stunning.”
"Not like you, not like you!" Murphy laughed "I have to apologize now. I see Mr. Donovan is heading our way, and I need to talk to him."
You said your goodbyes and were alone again for a while. The party really wasn't that bad, except for a few boring speeches and weak toasts. Harry was often approached by guests, and you politely stepped aside, trying not to bother them. However, when another businessman approached him, you quickly signaled to him that you were going to the toilet and disappeared among the crowd.
The clock in the lobby showed that it was slowly approaching 11pm as you passed more and more people. You enjoyed watching them. Perfect looking, dressed in expensive clothes, adorned with jewelry straight from the best jewelers, smelling of the most exclusive perfumes. It was Harry Castillo who gave you the opportunity to see this part of the world, and you still felt like a tourist there.
"We've been running into each other a lot lately, don't you think?"
You turned around and spotted him immediately. Daniel was smiling as he walked over to you. The knot you had in your stomach the entire party tightened even more.
"Daniel!" you plastered a smile on your face, "It's nice to see you again."
The man looked around, then leaned in slightly towards you. "You're not alone here, are you?"
"No. I'm here with Ca... With Harry." At the last moment, you bit your tongue, and warmth crept up to your chest. You didn't want to continue with this lie, but the situation demanded it. "And you? Is Beth here too?"
He shook his head. "She wasn't feeling well today. It would have been better to stay home."
"Right."
You looked at each other for a moment until Daniel finally offered to walk you to the hall where the guests were gathered and where you had left Harry. You were going through all the possible sentences you could say to get rid of Daniel when someone gently took your arm.
You turned to see Mr. Murphy, who was smiling politely at you. “Sweetheart, please tell Mr. Castillo I’ll call him next week. Of course, my offer still stands—I think your boss should take you to Los Angeles with him. We’d love to have you over for dinner.”
"Of course, Mr. Murphy. I'll tell him everything. Are you leaving now?"
"Yeah, yeah. I've got an early flight and I'd like to catch a nap. These parties..." he looked around the room and laughed, "they're all for the young. Take care of yourself, darling."
He bowed once more and quickly walked away towards the exit. Only when he disappeared from your sight did you realize that Daniel had been listening to you the whole time, and now he was watching you closely.
"Are you Castillo's assistant?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am. We work together." you replied, feeling a cold shiver run down your spine. "Is something wrong?"
"No." Daniel shook his head and smiled uncertainly. "I just thought that you and him... I thought that you..."
"Oh! I finally found you."
You felt a familiar scent and a strong arm wrap around your waist. Harry. You didn't know he had been watching you since you entered the room, and Daniel's presence next to you intrigued him a little. He decided to appear next to you the moment he noticed your figure becoming more tense. He knew your body language very well.
"Mr. Castillo." Daniel nodded, greeting the man. "Again, I met your lovely companion first."
"Careful, I'm starting to suspect you want to steal her from me." Harry joked, his fingers lightly squeezing your side to signal 'I'm here with you'.
Daniel smiled again, his eyes darting between you as if he wanted to catch any little gesture or grimace that might tell him something more. “Don’t worry, I already have my own assistant. Although I assure you, yours is just as good.”
“She's the best, right, honey?”
You were so surprised by what Daniel had said that it took a split second for you to realize Harry had leaned down and brushed his lips against your temple. It was barely noticeable, but it achieved its purpose because something in Daniel's gaze changed. You could almost see his brain working overtime.
You didn't know what to do, how to escape this place. But Harry was by your side, which was a small relief. You weren't alone. The lie continued.
“Forgive us, Daniel.” Castillo spoke again. “We wanted to go home. It’s been a long day.”
"Of course. It was very nice to see you again, Mr. Castillo."
They nodded at each other, and then you felt Harry steer you toward the exit. Your legs struggled to carry you down the hallway. The knot in your stomach was so bad you were sure you were going to throw up. If bad things came in pairs, that was likely.
"He's watching."
Harry's quiet voice echoed by your ear. You turned your head slightly and looked at him in surprise. "Who?"
"Daniel." Harry replied. "He's watching us. I think he's starting to suspect something."
You blinked quickly, taking a deep breath. “Does it still matter? Murphy told him I was your assistant.”
"That doesn't have to change anything."
You stopped at the door to let a larger group of guests pass. You didn't dare look at Daniel, you couldn't. But you saw Harry's face and there was something indescribable in it. A mixture of concern, support for you, kindness.
"Do you want him to think you're just an assistant?" he asked. "Of course, you're more than that, but he doesn't know that."
"He thinks we're together." you mumbled, looking down. "Just take me home, Harry. I feel bad enough for tonight."
When he took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, you didn't even flinch. Harry gently tilted your face up to look at him, it seemed so natural that you didn't know what to say or how to react.
"You don't owe him anything." he said, his voice quiet and warm, soothing. "And you can definitely give him something to think about."
"You think so?" your voice was close to a whisper.
"Yes. That's a brilliant idea."
Harry leaned in, your lips inches apart, until you finally felt his warm breath. You didn't resist, you didn't run away. It was so intoxicating that you even waited for it. When your lips touched, you felt something incredible happen. A soft and tender kiss, just a brush of lips. Nothing that would make you uncomfortable, but it was hard not to sink into it completely.
When Harry pulled away a quiet sigh escaped your chest.
"Come on, I'll take you home."
You didn't know why you cared that Daniel Stevens, your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, thought you and your boss, Harry Castillo, were together. It didn't make any sense at all. But lately, fate really hadn't been on your side, and every time you'd met up, you felt like you were sinking deeper into a senseless lie.
God! It wasn't even a lie at first. Just an understatement. Now everything was changing faster and faster. You were losing control of everything.
That kiss, it shouldn't have happened at all. Harry was your boss and you really liked him, but it wasn't right. But when you got in the car, neither of you said a word. The emotions and thoughts were so intense inside you that you preferred to keep your mouth shut before something you might regret later slipped out.
The car drove you home, Castillo opened the door for you again, and you said goodbye. No more words, no sign that he was thinking the same thing. Lying in bed, you almost envied him—your head felt like an amusement park in the height of the season, and he was probably already asleep.
"Please, hold the elevator!"
At the last moment, a hand held the door open, allowing you to slip inside. You gasped, “Thank you,” leaning against the cold metal wall as someone next to you shifted, then said your name.
“If I didn’t know you worked for Castillo, I’d think you were stalking me.” Daniel stood next to you, smiling nonchalantly as if this meeting was the most normal thing in the world.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you.” You replied, embarrassed, straightening up. “At this hour, I’m a bit…”
"Yeah, I know." He finished for you.
The elevator slowly began to rise, and you were silent for a few more floors. Finally, you spoke up. Maybe too nervously, but you had to ask. “I’ve never seen you in this building before. Do you have a meeting here?”
"Yes!" Daniel smiled and lifted his briefcase. "My client is already here."
"Oh. That's good."
But when the elevator stopped on your floor and you got off, you realized that Daniel was next to you again. The anxiety in your heart grew with each step, and when you reached your desk, you heard Daniel talking to Susan.
"I got a message that Mrs. Kruger-Waltz is already here. She's waiting for me."
"Yes, please hold on a moment." Susan reached for the receiver and dialed Castillo's internal number. Soon her voice filled the room again. "Mr. Stevens is here... Yes, she's already here too... Of course. Thank you."
With a soft click, the receiver returned to its place. ��Mr. Stevens, you may come in.” And then your name was called. “Mr. Castillo is expecting you as well.”
Susan smiled politely, not even realizing that you felt like she was inviting you to the gallows. But you couldn’t refuse, so you grabbed the bare necessities and headed for the glass doors, trying to remember to breathe.
The office was brightly lit, and you immediately noticed Harry, who was sitting in a comfortable chair by the coffee table. He smiled when he saw you, then nodded towards the woman sitting on the couch. She was beautiful. Long blonde curls fell over her shoulders, and ruby lipstick adorned her lips. She looked like a classic beauty, dressed in a well-fitted dress.
“This is Mrs. Diane Kruger-Waltz,” Harry said, and the woman nodded politely. “And I think we already know each other?”
Only then did you remember that Daniel had come in with you.
“Yes! Good morning, Mr. Castillo.” They shook hands, and the man moved toward Kruger-Waltz to sit some distance away from her. “I hope I didn’t miss anything.”
“Easy, Daniel.” The woman laughed lightly, showing white teeth. “It was just a very nice chat for now. You didn’t tell me that Mr. Castillo was such a charming man.”
"I asked you to call me Harry." Your boss reminded her, and then he showed you the other chair.
You sat up, feeling like you had “liar” written all over your forehead, and you hadn’t even done anything wrong. But you couldn’t let anything show. As conversation filled the office again, you took a deep breath and opened your notebook, ready to write down everything that was said there.
You were an assistant after all. Castillo was your boss. And this was your job.
Shit.
☆☆☆☆
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