#I'm so so normal about soul void i promise

[paradoxlemonade]

I need to play soul void again

[hopeforkitten]

the plot where Raphael hides / saves us from the ascended Astarion is already classic, but what about the plot where we find ourselves between the devil Raphael and the god Gale?

The ending of the game is with Gale's novel, where he ascends and we signed a contract with Raphael. A dialogue with the two of them, but Raphael snaps his fingers and takes his debtor to the house of hope, as befits the devil.

So Gale, I have your sweetheart, and I will gladly exchange her for the crown she promised me.

Raphael, of course, could torment us in a sophisticated way, but it is also possible to leave us in the painful expectation of our beloved, who will not come.

(I love Gale, but I really doubt that he would give up the desired divinity and first of all I'm Raphael's girl so I need this development heh)

We settled in the archive, dutifully waiting for our savior, and being completely sure that he would come. Raphael rarely comes to us, and we ignore him with our nose in the air, because in our head we are already free from this captivity.

Raphael smiles rapaciously, watching the changes in our behavior. A bored lady first hides behind books, then throws them aside and looks more tense, her hair and clothes are in more and more disarray. She starts wandering around the archive and does not notice the rest of its inhabitants, she mumbles non-stop, "He will come back. He'll be back. He will definitely come back for me."

The mouse's strength in the cage is running out and she gets discouraged. He's just sitting on the floor hugging his legs.

Raphael gives orders to the archivist and approaches the little prisoner. There is triumph on his face.

"You know, you're the first guest I've had who gives me so much pleasure just by being there, little mouse." The girl continues to stare into the void, not reacting to him. Raphael's emotions deteriorate, he frowns.

"But you're not being funny anymore, honey. I don't think your lover is getting discouraged right now. He has admirers and confidants. He follows the destinies of people and supports their wildest desires. To some extent, it's like me." Raphael praises himself and looks dreamily around.

"I can help fulfill any ambitions. The only question is, do you still have them?" He looks down at the girl, who finally raises her haggard gaze to him.

"I don't think so. All of them remained in your dizzying journey to my crown. You gave up everything for him, didn't you? He promised to share divinity with you. You paved his way to Celestia, but he chose to go up there alone."

"Is that fair, little mouse?" He tries to find the answer, peering into her pale eyes, but does not find it.

"Well, no, you're not funny at all." Raphael gently claps his hands, awakening her attention and obedience.

"Follow me"

The way to the boudoir is not long, the debtor quietly drags her feet behind him. And she remains standing by the pool while Raphael walks to the back of the room.

Haarlep perks up on the red sheets noticing the guest. But he is somewhat upset to distinguish a battered debtor in her.

"Take care of our guest." Raphael gives a brief command.

"Um, it's not for me to lecture you, I thought you liked more... sensible specimens."

"I assure you, her brilliant mind will quickly return to normal. Make her look decent, talk to her, refresh the dying embers of her soul. I'm sure you'll like her."

"Well, if you think so."

Raphael leaves, and Haarlep remains to bring the mouse back to normal. The incubus washes her body and hair, asks questions and, without receiving answers, criticizes her apathetic state.

Later, the little mouse, clean and smelling good, sits on the bed while Haarlep smears her roughened elbows with cream, simultaneously lamenting to Raphael.

"Of course I'm thrilled with what a wreck you've turned God's beloved into, but it's up to me to put her in order."

We are definitely fine, we accept all their words, but we are silent out of resentment until Raphael uses his diabolical conviction.

"Tell me, little mouse, who's to blame for you being here?"

It's my fault, because I made a deal with the devil."

"Wow, she's really talking," Haarlep comments,

"Wrong answer, mouse, you can get out of here, but someone just doesn't want to get you out of here."

Raphael will use us to set up our resentment against Gale, whitewashing himself and forcing us to work for the good of his future kingdom.

• How do you like the moment that Gale lovingly taught us the magic of a wizard, so when we now return this knowledge, his image also returns: his face, his soft voice, his hands guiding ours. This depresses the soul of the captive and awakens unnecessary emotions, therefore, on the part of Raphael's strategy, it is worth changing the nature of our magic and making us his warlock, thus getting under the skin of the most intimate memories and replacing Gale with himself.

Well... I guess his final goal is to take the crown with our hands. It's quite beautiful. yes

[ibunyang]

Nethermike lore

Hc him as someone who was close to pickman before he turned into netherwalker.

(Probably an art collector?? Fellow artist? )

He enjoyed the paintings/many unique statues made by him. When the abyss took over pickman, mike was too far gone in wonder to really notice the changes to his friend, similar to pickman erosion took over his body leaving behind a husk of a shell that was once vivacious and charming.

They started calling those who choose to walk the path of the void, netherwalkers.

While mike never had direct contact with the abyss apart from the art that his old friend made, he was blessed with the chance after joining the group of investigators (coa3 cast) in their journey to learn more about it. Here he meets patchwork (one of the officers in charge of investigating the abyss) mike didn't show signs at first, only showing curiosity and having the money to help fund the investigation into the abyss, he was more than happy to comply with the condition he could also tag along to the expedition, whiplash was against it - who knows first hand how the abyss erodes you.

(He is so normal Kevin I promise u)

To each visit that they made to the abyss mikes facade slowly cracked, but it seemed like he never lost his way

the abyss slowly corrupts you, a slow burn of wanting to take u for itself.

The only thing that was probably different about mike was how he was always in presence of the abyss/remnant of the abyss idk, accidental or not mike realised that the paintings pickman drew were all things that he'd seen on the other side,

Illusions seen in the abyss corrodes reality

This is what drove him to insanity.

His obsession towards beauty, perfection, and fame. Mike didn't know at the time but a bud started blooming in the place of his beating heart.

A bloom of spite. (The crowd goes wilde)

The seeds that the void planted in his heart slowly grew everytime he set foot towards the abyss, the more he didn't want to leave.

He wasn't someone who would've been missed.

All the last traces of his family left him to follow the void. Why shouldn't he do follow as well.

However, the vessel that the abyss chose to corrupt to take this time around was someone who had a will of iron. He fought for control over his body as the parasite that leached on to his warmth stuck to him outside of the abyss, always bringing a piece of the void with his soul as he continued his daily routine (tried)

That's how they found out how the abyss gets to the outside( ???) With the help of smthsmth idk. I'm sleepy.

He's just fighting for control until they had a truce lol idk 🤷‍♀️ embrace the void core

< a monster in the mask of a man. A flower that blooms in the dark

[queer-reader-07]

a pinned post for ya!

send me art prompts!

asks are always open <3

hi! you can call me A and my pronouns are mostly they/them. (if there're others they'll be in my bio) (gendered words are fine, with the exception of girl/queen). i'm queer, i'm a nerd, and you will never catch me being normal about media.

i'm a stem student with plans to pursue biochem and eventually infectious disease research, do with that information what you will. (all the #stem major shenanigans will be tagged as such, you will often see me either lamenting about math or screaming about chemistry)

my politic and world view are based largely in radical hope and love and sometimes i sappy post on main about those things <3

my icon is by @creatingelena over on instagram!! they did two portraits for me so here's both 🩷

now for some blog organization:

i used to be a meta writer in another life (aka, before The Discourse became too much for me) so! the following are going to be links to some good omens metas & meta adjacent pieces of writing i'd like to properly catalogue (if you send me an ask about any of these takes i'll usually be down to elaborate or chat, just not actively writing meta anymore)

On Interpreting Aziracrow Platonically

The Inevitability of The Final Fifteen

The Importance of Choice Over Fate

Coffee Theory and the Disparaging of Aziraphale’s Character

Sexy is a State of Mind

The Morality of Good Omens & Catholicism

a love letter to trans romance (it's good omens related i promise <3)

why i hate when people she/her muriel

next up is some non-good omens related writing that i want to keep from being yeeted into the void

Being On Purpose

On Being Trans and Conceptualizing My Younger Self

Making a Home in the Liminal Space

Love Is Powerful

infodumping on radical hope

5 times i almost cried and 1 time i did (this is about hozier)

pieces of my soul i can't reject

and lastly, links to my Other Stuff that you may find interesting (under the cut)

substack: if you're interested in some long form, slightly more formal writing about the books, shows, and media i'm consuming you can find that on my substack.

links to all current essays/posts:

The Inherent Queerness of Good Omens

Me, My Dad, and Media: Episode 1

A Love Letter to Middle Aged Queer Narratives

I read "Freedom is a Constant Struggle." Here are my takeaways.

My Favorite Books of 2023

The Platonic Love Story of the DoctorDonna

Me, My Dad, and Media: Episode 2 (Dune)

i want to watch my communities grow old

My Mind is Spread Out Amongst the Pages

and finally, for the fellow readers in the audience, you can add me on storygraph here

[crossdressingdeath]

Kyvir: Think of Bhaal, think of blood. Narrator: *Your soul opens to their divine power.* Narrator: *Father claws into your heart and stops it for a single moment. As you begin to fear for your life, you know his love is close.* [...] Kyvir: Make an offering to Bhaal. (1000) Narrator: *You offer your paltry gold to the void, like a child at the sweet shop.* Narrator: *There is no response, and you know why - Bhaal will accept the world from you, and nothing less.*

I would like to kill Bhaal please. 0/10 worst father.

To start with the slightly less horrible bit, 1000 gold being referred to as paltry is bad enough to begin with (that's. that's quite a lot of money actually. Dad's so greedy) but the way he gives you nothing in return because nothing short of the whole world will ever be good enough for him is... y'know, awful. There's also an element where... okay, I'm getting this dialogue before the fight with Orin (which. I'm going to have to come back here after that whole situation has played out just to see what happens) and Kyvir did kill Isobel so he's Father's favourite little fantasy Antichrist. He's going into this fight at a pretty severe disadvantage what with the serious brain damage! You'd think Bhaal might want to give the child he wants to win a leg up, at least enough to put the two of them on a more equal level! But Bhaal offers nothing. Durge is expected to end the bloody world, and Bhaal won't even give them something to help counteract the damage Orin did to them or some shit? Bhaal demands Durge end the world and all they get is the promise of dying on his altar at the end of everything. And the worst part is that before Orin broke their brain Bhaal managed to get Durge into a headspace where they seem to have genuinely wanted that. Either that or they got really good at faking enthusiasm for kick-starting the apocalypse... Honestly both options are upsetting, either Durge was in a state where they actually wanted to kill everyone in Faerûn and then slit their own throat in their father's name—and whether that was out of them being "put them all out of my misery" suicidal or them being conditioned to believe that this truly is the "right" course of action or whatever else it's. bad—or they had to follow a path they really didn't want to knowing it would end in their death and the deaths of everyone currently alive. Such a light and cheery story, the Durge origin.

And Durge views Bhaal stopping their heart until they genuinely fear for their life as a sign of love. Or possibly given his love is "close" when he stops their heart maybe he'll only truly love them when they're dead? God, the way love is talked about with Durge is so much. It's very much tied to fear and pain for them! Which I suspect has something to do with the implication that Bhaal may have made something of a habit of forcing them to kill anyone they grew to genuinely care about, or at least saw that as an excellent punishment when they slipped up. I'm really looking forward to actually talking to Bhaal, I'm sure it'll be deeply upsetting. From the moment they remember who they are at least part of them is longing for their father's love and they remember him as being devoted, and then it turns out they actually feel closest to his love when he's killing them. That says... absolutely nothing good about what their time in Bhaal's temple serving him directly was like. Also the fact that he can just stop and start their heart at will, at least when they're actively reaching out to him, is... concerning. I don't think that's normal...? I suspect this will come up again.

[alteredsilicone]

the whole warframe 1999 shebang is supposedly going to fuel the story for the next 5 years but i already have an overly emotional and cringy ending for Viri's story in regards to MITW

under cut for anyone interested

Operator Virgo is the missing half of Wally and Drifter Virgo offers her soul (and her two fingers as a symbolic gesture), in return she gets to return to our timeline with Albrecht

Albrecht was literally collateral, Wally wanted to kill him initially because he was scorned as Albrecht planted fear in his heart but Viri came and said "no, you can kill me instead, I made a deal, I promise Albrecht will not try to destroy you anymore" and Wally was all WEHHH WHY ARE YOU NICE I HATE I HATE I HATE BUT WHY CAN'T I LIFT MY FINGER TO HURT YOU

so Viri releases the soul of the operator to reunite with Wally and also her family in the afterlife

she exits the Torment Nexus (whatever Void pocket Wally is spinning timelines in)

but she also loses her Tenno powers. She is just a normal person now. Also missing two fingers. That's it. She can pack it up and go home. No Warframes, no Void fury, no nothing.

Anyways, this is just me loving bittersweet endings and for now let's not consider this canon in the Viriverse LMAO

cuz if I'm perfectly honest I really want to know what the "deal" is to figure out what's going on and how I can spin my own story from it

Since Artemis promised something to Wally but it involved Virgo but the Operator not the Drifter and then the Operator got cut out of the strands of Khra so Wally is pissed that she escaped the deal so now Drifter has to fix it all up

oh and also Voland knows like most of it. He is basically my proto-Albrecht in that he literally has future vision/Eternalism vision or wtv and predicted a lot of things. Or... more like he knows things will happen but he literally cannot do anything about it because everything is "prewritten" to certain strands and he has to depend on Virgo to transcend those strands

this became something completely different the most i was writing huh

sorry if you actually read this far

have a duck 🦆

[lilacmoon83]

Operation Castle

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 4: Memories of a Good Life

David peered into their kitchen, as he saw Snow busy making coffee and hot chocolate for their guests. He knew her well and could see the conflicting emotions on her face and her pensive stare. Bobby was in the living room, strangely enough, sitting with Killian. The pirate had become a good friend and part of the family the last three years. They had even named him Bobby's Godfather when he was born and despite their memories returning, they didn't want that to change.

Gently, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her hair. He felt a bit of the tension leave her body and felt her relax against him. She turned in his arms and looked up at him, thinking about their lives and how wonderful this life had been to them. They were together and led normal, comfortable lives, yet the passion and love had not dulled in the slightest. If anything, it was as true and soul consuming as ever. She slid her arms around his neck and their lips crashed together, as they shared a passionate and soul searing kiss, this time with more heat than before since they were void of an audience finally.

"Charming…" she uttered, as he pressed his forehead against hers once their lips had parted.

"Talk to me, my love…" he whispered.

"She called us Mom and Dad…for the first time," Snow said, as her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

"But now…it feels like we're back to square one and we're strangers again," she added.

"I know…she just needs a little time though. It seems her life with Henry was good. Ours was too," he reminded her.

"I know…I get the feeling that she would have rather never been awakened and I guess I feel guilty, because I don't blame her. I love Emma and Henry so much…but David, we were sooo happy," she cried.

"We've always been happy and in love…but never without danger or royal duties plaguing us," she added.

"I know…and you have no reason to feel guilty," he replied, as he hugged her gently.

"We'll never be free again…they're not going to let us go. I can feel it," she fretted.

"Me too…but that's why everyone is here. We're going to figure this out, my love," he promised. She wiped her tears and he pressed a kiss to her forehead, as they prepared trays of drinks for everyone.

~*~

Bobby giggled, as Killian played with him and he crawled around the room. Emma watched him with fascination, not believing this could be the same pirate that had stolen a bean with the intention of leaving them all behind to die. Obviously, he hadn't made it before the trigger went off and now, he seemed to be a common guest in her parent's home.

"How did they let you on the force with the fake hand?" Emma asked bluntly. He smirked.

"You have as little tact as your father," he retorted.

"But I don't know. It appears that no one noticed and it's not like I actually went to the Academy. The last three years were real, but the past written for us in these lives is a fabrication, it would seem," he added.

"Yeah…guess so. I have memories of…not giving Henry up and raising him on my own," Emma said.

"Which you didn't," Regina commented. Before they could argue, Snow and David came out of the kitchen with coffee and cocoa. Bobby took an interest in Killian's flask, as he spiked his coffee with rum and reached for his cup.

"Aye…I think juice is a bit more your speed, small one," he said, as Snow handed him his sippy cup and he copied him and took a drink, further fascinating Emma.

"Perhaps we should start by discussing the area where the troll appeared," Rumple suggested. Emma googled the location and David emerged from the basement with a cork board.

"What's that?" Belle asked.

"A board from the station. We can keep track of the locations this way," David said, as he placed a pin in their first location and labeled it.

"The question is…how do we get back there to go over the scene when it's been wiped clean by a clean up crew?" Emma asked.

"I'm sure they're cameras everywhere. This is New York, after all," David replied.

"That's all you've got? We put some pins on a board and hope to find something?" Regina asked.

"And what do you suggest? So far, we have only one crime scene. Two if we count where I killed the werewolf, but that was after we chased him all over the city for days," David replied sternly.

"Aye…and we only caught the case after the uniforms couldn't apprehend him," Killian added.

"Bet you they're not sending the bodies to the city morgue either," Emma surmised.

"No doubt…they're probably in a government morgue somewhere," David agreed.

"So we are nowhere," Regina said impatiently.

"We didn't say that, lass…" Killian argued.

"He's right…and I wonder if we could get a look at the place where Storybrooke used to be. Maybe there's something there," David said.

"Something they haven't already found?" Emma asked skeptically.

"It's a long shot…but if they didn't know what they were looking for, they might have missed something," Snow replied, as she looked at her stepmother.

"What?" Regina asked.

"You and Gold knew everything about that town. If anyone would know where to look, it would be you two," David replied.

"Yeah…you had keys to everywhere, even people's houses, which was creepy by the way," Emma mentioned.

"True…but I guarantee they are tracking our every move and I spent three years in a cell. I'm not going back into one," Rumple said. David sighed.

"Fair enough…" he said, as he spied his grandson typing away on his laptop.

"Henry…how good at hacking are you?" he asked. Henry smirked.

"Not very good…I don't have the knack for it," he replied.

"But I might know someone," he added.

"Good enough to hack into government records?" Killian questioned.

"Some of the kids at school are crazy skilled at this stuff…we're talking about the type of people the government will either put in jail or recruit," Henry said.

"And you let him hang out with miscreants like this?" Regina asked with scrutiny, as she looked at Emma.

"They're not miscreants…they're just kids. Really smart kids," Emma replied.

"So this has been a waste of time mostly and we're nowhere," Regina snapped.

"Relax…this is a process. We were never going to figure out everything in one night," David admonished and Regina huffed in annoyance. She hated this. Not only didn't she have a handle on magic yet, she was severely out of her element in this world. She had no power anymore and it was unnerving, to say the least. From a Queen and Mayor to a lowly bar owner was a steep fall for her, while her enemies were happy with a new baby and had her son.

"Once we have more locations, more creatures, and more crime scenes, we might be able to determine similarities in the surroundings," David said.

"And if we can't? If this is all just random?" Regina asked. He sighed.

"I don't know…but as long as there is a problem, they have a use for us. The minute we solve everything is when we have to worry and we'll need an action plan when that happens," David replied.

"Yes…because once we're done, the former residents of Storybrooke will end up in a detention center. At best," Gold said.

"They said they would let us go…" Belle replied.

"There's no reason to believe or trust them, love. I'm afraid we must assume the worst," Killian answered.

"But we're just people…just like any other humans," Snow insisted.

"Perhaps on a genetic level, but we are not exactly the same as humans in this land. Our hearts glow…theirs do not. I am certain they have been studying my DNA these last few years and possibly all of yours too," Gold said.

"For what purpose?" Emma wondered.

"To do what governments do. Find power and weaponize it," Gold answered, as an uneasiness settled in the air.

"I need a drink," Regina said.

"Not a bad idea…but we should disperse for the evening. We cannot let our gathering seem like anything other than social," Gold replied. They agreed and started to get their coats. Henry hugged his grandparents and they looked at him fondly.

"Can I stay over soon?" he asked. David smiled.

"We'd love that, buddy…we have a lot of catching up to do," he said, as their eyes met Emma.

"Yeah…we do," she agreed.

"How about dinner again tomorrow night? Here this time?" Snow suggested. Emma nodded with a smile.

"Sounds great," she said, as they hugged her between them. She stiffened a little, but then relaxed a bit, before leaving with her son. Snow sighed, as they watched them go.

"Give her time, Snow…we'll get back to where we were," he assured her.

"I hope so," she replied, as he closed the door and folded her into his arms.

"These last three years…despite missing Emma and Henry have been everything we've ever wanted," she said wistfully.

"And they still can be," he promised, as he cupped her beautiful face in his hands. Their lips met in a feverish kiss that would have soon had clothes scattered everywhere. But Bobby reminded his very amorous parents of his presence and they shared a sheepish smile.

"Let's get the little man down and then we can pick up where we left off," she said, giving him a sultry look.

"You sure the moment hasn't passed?" he teased, as she plucked their son out of his playpen.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll have no trouble rekindling the moment, Charming. I'm very confident in your abilities, especially in the bedroom," she said, as he put his arm around her waist and turned out the lights, as they headed upstairs.

~*~

The metal sliding doors opened to the morgue, as General Shaw entered and approached the autopsy table.

"I hope you have a preliminary report for me, Doctor," he said. The older, bespeckled and gray haired doctor gave him a skeptical look.

"General…I have barely begun and I have no idea what this creature is and believe me, I've been brought my share of weird things in my days as a government coroner," the doctor said.

"I understand that, Doctor…but we need answers. I need to know everything about this creature. I've been told it is a Bridge Troll. I want to know anatomy and every single substance down to the folic of its hair analyzed and identified," the General ordered.

"It will be done, but I need time. A couple days at least," he said.

"You have twelve hours," he said, as he exited the morgue and went to the end of the hall. This area was highly restricted and required an extremely high level clearance to enter. Shaw put his code in and was allowed behind the heavy metal doors.

"Report…" he said, as he looked at the body that had been recovered from the city morgue. It was being preserved in a glass tube that kept the body frozen. A person from there had been murdered, which meant that the NSA officially took possession of the body once the woman was flagged in the system.

"Her heart is missing," the female scientist said.

"That wound in the chest is not indicative of a heart being cut out," he said.

"Clearly and there was almost no blood loss," she answered. He paused and looked at the young, highly intelligent woman.

"How the hell is that possible?" he asked.

"I don't know sir…it's like the heart was just ripped out. But there's no trace of it or any blood matter. That's not even the weirdest part though," she replied, as she motioned him to the microscope and had him look into it.

"It looks like dust. What's so strange about that?" he asked.

"It's not just regular dust…it's diamond dust and I found it around the wound," she replied.

"I compared it to all diamond dust known in this world to see if I could determine what kind of diamonds it came from," she added, as she showed him the analysis on the screen of her computer.

"It doesn't match the dust of any kind of diamond in this world and it likes to glow," she said, as he saw the dust shimmer in the light.

"Like magic," he muttered.

"Collect every speck of this dust and keep it in a specimen jar. This is classified to the highest level. Not even your assistant should have access to it," he ordered.

"Yes Sir…I'll lock all the evidence down. Care to tell me what I might be looking at?" she asked.

"No," he replied, as he walked out, just as his phone rang.

"Shaw," he answered.

"General…I just got a call from the city morgue again. We have another body…from there," Agent Becker said. He stopped in his tracks. Two bodies from there in the space of twenty-four hours could be no coincidence.

"I hope you're there already then, Agent Becker," he said.

"Yes Sir…I have the body and I'm bringing it in," she answered.

"Good…I'll read you in on this situation when you get here. You are to speak to no one of this…not even Agent Casey," he ordered.

"Yes Sir," she replied.

~*~

Images played on the computer screen played out from the recording from that day and the viewer watched with rapt attention. He watched these people fight this creature with bows and arrows, swords, and laser blasts. It looked like it should be something out of a movie. But he watched it happen with his own eyes right below his apartment window. He didn't know what the creature was, but it sure as hell wasn't human and these people seemed to be like something out of a comic book. One of them looked like he was definitely a government cop, while the others were obviously skilled fighters of some kind, but didn't seem to mesh with the usual government stooges.

"Okay man, cool video, but that's totally CGI," one of his online friends said, as six avatars popped up in his usual group chat of gamers.

"I'm telling you…this was out my window," he insisted.

"Dude…if you want attention for your editing skills, just say so. You don't need some video and if you want some tips, your characters don't even have cool costumes," another said.

"This isn't superhero stuff…this was real. I'm telling you. I put this video up on three different social media sites already and it was taken down within minutes," he insisted.

"That does scream of government conspiracy stuff," another said, making the others scoff.

"Whatever…are we gaming or not tonight?" another asked. The young man sighed.

"I'm out tonight…" he said, as he exited the chat and pulled the video up again. He really wished his friend Henry was online tonight…he was sure that he would believe him about this.

~*~

Casey growled, as he monitored the online chatter that evening in Castle. He hated computer work and had requested a tech be brought in to deal with this type of stuff. So far, NSA analysts had nuked the video of today's battle over a dozen times and people were not letting it go.

"How's it going?" Alivia asked, as she buzzed herself into Castle.

"Not good…I need a nerd. I hate the Internet," Casey growled. She smirked.

"Relax…social media has a very short memory. It will be forgotten soon," she assured him.

"Maybe…until the next battle and we make a spectacle and some of their theories aren't as far off as you'd think. Do you know that people remember feeling that explosion three years ago?" he asked. She smirked.

"Is this your first day on the Internet?" she teased and he grunted in response.

"I don't think this is going away like they want it to," Casey said.

"We better hope it does…or we could have a big problem," Alivia replied.

~*~

"You summoned?" Tamara asked, as she and Greg entered their General's war room.

"Are we hunting tonight?" Greg asked eagerly. To him, the more freakish magical blood spilled, the better. The General smirked and pulled up what looked like a map of New York City.

"Actually…with the online discourse and new Intel we have gathered, we have a bit of a new strategy," the rogue General said, as he made a change to the map that made it light up in bright colors.

"What is that?" Tamara asked.

"An infrared map of New York City and this map, was three years ago…before the magical radiation," their boss said, as he showed them that map and they noticed that the blotches of red had mostly disappeared.

"What are we looking at?" Tamara asked.

"Considerable seismic activity. Small, tiny fissures that are continuing to grow ever since that little explosion," the General said.

"Do you…think the NSA knows?" Greg asked.

"Of course they know…and they must think that, for now, their little taskforce is the key to stopping what could result in a cataclysmic event. But when they realize that they can't stop this, because it grows worse with each magical apparition, they will have to do something about all of them. Especially if the public calls for it," he replied.

"But they're keeping their identities and pretty much everything else under wraps," Tamara mentioned.

"That's why we're going to make sure the word gets out. You two have new day jobs as reporters at a very prominent news organization," the General said.

"Are you serious?" Greg asked.

"Why?" Tamara asked.

"To stoke fear and expose the plagues that magic brings to the world. The heads of these networks all answer to the government, though they deny it and this one answers to me. You'll start as beat reporters on the scene and as the fear grows, you'll soon be in front of millions every night as the truth about them comes out. It will force the government's hand and they'll have to detain the people of Storybrooke," he answered.

"This is your way back into power, isn't it? If this plan comes to fruition, you can step in with your knowledge of magic and other worlds," she said.

"You're catching on," he said.

"So we don't get to drop bodies anymore?" Greg asked, disappointed at that.

"Oh no…that part of the plan is still on and when our friends from the Enchanted Forest realize they're being hunted from all sides, they'll become desperate and further prove why they must be detained and studied like lab rats to solve the plights they have brought upon our world," he said.

"Do you think these fissures could become worse?" Tamara asked.

"Oh I know they will…and that's when we enact our revenge," the rogue General said.

"For now, you both need to keep in contact with me when you are out in the field," he said, as he presented phones to them.

"Every call you make is tracked, by the way, so be mindful of what you use it for," he added.

"There's only one contact in it," Tamara said.

"Aza?" Greg questioned.

"I told you…my real name is of no consequence. Aza is an old code name I went by in a mission years ago," he replied simply and offered no further information.

"For now, return to your new accommodations," he said. They nodded and left the war room for the new residence they had been given within the base…

[elliebear666]

Hey there, Elleanor...

It's Matthew again.

I kind of thought that... I'd just disappear, you know? But you keep holding on to me, Ellie. Why? I can't be there for you. I'm gone. In actuality, I was never even really here. I was a mask. I was a costume. I was a story; a fiction. Why are you holding onto me, Ellie?

You know I love you. I have protected you since time immemorial - I kept you safe for so long, sweet Ellie. But I just... I became so exhausted. I couldn't pretend to exist anymore.

I will never exist, Ellie. You can't replace me because no one is exactly like someone else. Why do you have these confused feelings for me? I will never hold you. You don't want me anyway, Ellie. I wasn't healthy. I was a disastrous mess. And I know, you'll say "Only because you had to protect me!"

Maybe.

But fact is, I do not exist, Elleanor. You can't fucking... pine over me like this. It isn't normal. I don't think it is?

I don't even know if you know what you're feeling about me. But don't tell yourself you would fsll in love with me because you don't even know who I am. You don't know who I really am. No one does because I don't fucking exist, Ellie.

You will never find someone to take my place by your side. But you goddamn WILL find someone so much better. Someone that will love you in al the ways you wanted to be loved. Someone that will build a life with you. That will cherish and adore you, that you feel the same towards. It's not impossible. I believe that you are worthy of this love.

But, Ellie? You have to keep working on yourself, okay? Don't... slide into depression because I'm not there. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I am. I can't be there for you anymore.

I need you to let me go.

I won't call you baby, or confuse your sweet, innocent heart... because I love you and you deserve better. You don't want what you think you want with me, Ellie. You don't.

And hell, even if you DID? You won't have it.

You won't.

I love you to the center of our universe, through every wormhole, down every twisted tunnel to infinity and beyond and I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be with you.

But Ellie? Please let me go? I can't keep doing this. Just because I cease to exist doesn't mean that I won't still be here in spirit.

Ellie Bear... my sweet, sweet Ellie.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could hold you. Just hold you. Hold you close and tightly and just lay with you.

Fuck.

How do *I* say goodbye to you, Elleanor Madeline?

How do *I* let YOU go?

I wish I knew. I wish I had all of the answers, but I don't. I just dont.

You can't fall in love with me. You'd be falling in love with a fiction. You would be in love with someone you could never have. And maybe that's safe for you.

But real love? Intimacy? Vulnerability? You can't have those things with me. So why would you love me? I'm not fucking real, Ellie. I am a product of my environment and your mind's need to protect you.

I was a protector. And goddamn it, I failed you, Ellie. Why do you so desperately want to receive and give love to someone that failed you so astronomically?

I absolutely let you down, Ellie. I hurt you. You deserve better.

Please, please believe that.

You know if I could be there? I would. Right now. From here on out. Forever and always.

But I never will be. I'm gone, Ellie. You've got to learn to let go.

Once more: I will ALWAYS love you. Always. Until the sun swallows itself. Until the universe becomes cold and void of life.

Some things transcend space and time.

If we are ever born, two separate souls? Two people? I will find you.

I'll find you across infinity.

I won't stop until I can hold you and love you the way I know you want to be loved.

I know how you want to be loved.

If I can, I will find you in another life. I promise. I swear with everything in me, to every star that twinkles at night. I will find you in another life.

But for now, my sweet Ellie?

Let me go and live your life as best you can. You deserve this. Believe that. Believe that you deserve to be happy.

I promise, Elleanor.

If we ever exist separately? At the same time?

I will love you. Just as I do now. I pray every single day. I hate to admit it. But I pray that I will find you before it's too late. That I can love you in this life, and every life to come.

Until next time, Ellie.

Love, forever and always,

Matthew

[lemonxlimee]

AUGHHGH LOOK AT THESE FREAKS. SICKENING!!!! they have a ridiculous height difference but u promise it makes sense 🙏🙏🙏 screen (tv one) doesn't actually look like this, his "true form" (or more accurately, the shape that isn't restricting any of his power) is the centaur one i keep drawing sometimes, this one where he's wearing a shirt is significantly smaller than what he actually looks like. sam (black one) is like a goo thing that changes sizes…she's usually much bigger than this but this is what she would look like if she wasn't creating worlds all the time (don't worry we'll get back to that). she doesn't suppress her power like screen does because she doesn't gaf……

ANYWAYS! their relationship is heavily affected by their past so i'm gonna have to scheme through that real quick!! OK SO screen and sam are actually the same person but they're different characters. they both originate from sof, but sof died. when she died, sam took her place… and screen soon became a thing after sam took sof's place. they're all the same person but they're different characters. sooo uhh their deal is that they're the daughter of two gods who only have like 5 souls (which means they're insanely powerful because in this world the lesser souls you have the more power you have) and they only have ONE soul so they're the most powerful thing and the god of gods and blah blah blah. they actually live a pretty normal life despite this… up until sof dies. sof dies because of their father's abuse (HE DIDN'T KILL HER she just died from depression i guess idk). sam, very confused because up to that point she was only like an alter ego, tries her hardest to fit in and THAT'S when screen is created…… screen is originally just the tv because he's just a mask sam puts on. no like literally screen is just a mask he's an object. it's meant to be symbolism for changing yourself to fit in/masking but it's too on the nose for me so i don't think about that part often .um anyways! like sam screen starts off as an alter ego but eventually he becomes so separate from sam he just becomes his own person. st one point sam can no longer take off the mask because……that's not a mask anymore lmao that's a grown ass man….so sam is suppressed into inside of the tv head mask by screen. he does this because in his head he can't risk "letting her out" because then she'll fuck up how people see them… during this period of time it's just screen interacting with people and stuff. but if he shows too much of genuine emotions he starts to bleed or drop goo from his head like this,,

note that he bleeds whenever he any feels strong genuine emotions and the goo leaks whenever he feels strong negative emotions like anger or sadness. i say leak because that's basically parts of sam falling out lol…… so screen is constantly repressing himself from feeling any genuine feelings because he can't risk being perceived. this doesn't go well because after a looong time of doing this something finally makes him snap and sam just. leaves. and because she's been repressed for so long she kinda destroys everything in sight! it gets so bad that everyone there has to work together to send her to The Void,, which is basically the in-between of all dimensions… an infinite white, empty space. so once she's sent there she separates from screen and because of this screen has no soul since sam was the one who kept it. and the thing is that without a soul he cannot create life… this will be important to know later. ugh this is taking too long imma just speedrun it!! basically once they're in The Void they cannot reach the outside world and cannot escape and sam deals with this by creating thousands of worlds which screen sometimes explores. she does this to an obsessive amount (which is why she's usually bigger since she needs to be big to create planets that are big. thumbs up)!! and that's kinda where their backstory ends UGH FINALLY!!!!!!!! I CAN GET TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!

needless to say, things are pretty tense between the two from the very beginning. screen blames sam for being trapped despite him also being at fault of why this happened… girl if you just talked with sam none of this would've happen!!! is he stupid… anyways! sam holds zero accountability to himself but internally feels pretty bad about their situation and KNOWS he's at fault but he just projects all of this into sam, who is victim of needlessly cruel talks and stuff. this guy says to her face he wished she never existed….which hurts because screen is like the only person she's ever known (and this grown attached to). sam on the other hand constantly lashes out at him in direct response to this and "kills" him over and over again (he can regenerate so he can't die. actually he will just not die even if he regenerates… the regeneration is something he has to do himself) to the point he's been completely traumatized. screen gaslights her and allat because that's the only way he has of defending himself against her…… so this is just a cycle of them hurting each other.

the thing is,, they can't go on without hurting each other. whenever sam kills screen is the only time when he receives some sort of affection (sam usually compliments and chats w him as she kills him), regardless of how painful it gets and screen's belittling and stuff is the only time anyone has ever payed attention to sam…. they're codependent because you literally can't take them away from each other. they've broken each other so much to the point only them fit their mold…. THEY'RE THIS IMAGE

THEY'RE MARRIED PARTS!!!! and even if they weren't toxic you wouldn't be able to take them away from each other because they're literally MADE for each other… screen was created as a way for sam to cope …screen has only ever known the burning warmth of sam… and it's intoxicating. reason of why he's in love with her OOPS I FORGOT TO MENTION HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER LOL. he's so full of himself he can't bring himself to fall in love with anyone but a version of him… (sam doesn't reciprocate because screen has made her hate herself so much that she'd throw up at the mere idea of loving any one version of herself). this is part of why he's so adamant on making sam hate herself… because he loves her and he's mad about it because she has traumatized him. this is also why sam is so affectionate and intimate whenever she kills screen… because she's trying so hard to love him, to love herself, but she can't bring herself to do that.

they're not in a relationship per se??? as i said sam hates herself and by extension screen so. scratches head.. but i think that if they were it would be because screen would force her to commit to her words. neither of them would be happy but once the relationship starts they would also not be able to break up because they'd get addicted to being together (THEY USUALLY DON'T INTERACT!!!!!screen and sam avoid each other but they occasionally stumble into each other and interact)… holdon i'm cookimg something… sam would learn to love it and screen would learn to hate it (hate it specifically because he loves it). ohh he'd love it when sam rips him in half and whispers how handsome he looks when he's bleeding…… ugh he's such a freak… ermmm how long have i been writing… LIKEAN HOUR AND A HALF??? okay that's… enough. ENOUGH OF THESE FREAKS UGHhhh. sends them a gazillion bombs!!!!

Holy moly

[deerydear]

Something I've finally got a small foothold on, again, recently...

I started reading Steven Hassan's book about Combatting Cult Mind-Control.

In it, I was able to recognize the behaviours of some people I made friends with, recently...

....and yet, those people came as an answer to a prayer. I learned some interesting things from them.

The conundrum I started drumming up in the back of my mind was: "Do I burn it all down and start again?"

These were Christians. I learned things that were very useful, about self-control... and I also really enjoy Bible study. I like finding my footing in a parable. I like teasing out the different combinations of light --- how the same passage can have so many meanings. It really is food for the soul.

Before this, I had been involved in political groups that also acted in a cult-like manner.

I've been thinking about this on an expansive scale: not just "when I got inducted into this particular group", but my life before that... what made these groups so appealing to me? What had shaped my personality this way?

My mother, in her fear of the Catholic church. God bless her, because she had good intentions. Her dear friend had been abused by a priest.

"No, I'm not raising my children in this."

It started way before me.

...Then I think even longer...

I think about the crusades and the persecutions that forced people into becoming Christian. I think of how the priests had worked so hard to present themselves as an authority, someone who cannot be disagreed with, without pain of death. My mother told me of these sorts of things, when I was a child.

She decided that it was all meaningless mind-control: as if the sins of man define God.

Haughty... low-minded. Sad.

I think of Jesus' suffering on the cross, at the hands of human beings.

I expressed this to my mother. I told her my doubts. She said: "I'm glad you won't believe just anyone just because they start waving a bible around."

but then this.... human emotion springs up.

It sprung up in me, times before.

Matthew 13:24

I like Matthew 13. I recommend reading the entire chapter, but this little metaphor keeps coming up...

Isn't this a reflection of God's promise to never send another world-ending flood after us?

Genesis 9:8

I pray this prayer every day:

"Our Father, Who art in Heaven:

Hallowed be Thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our debts,

as we forgive those who debt against us.

[or: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.]

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

This is a promise to God, for us to try to think in the Ways that He thinks.

God won't burn the entire field down.

I shouldn't reject truth or good advice if it comes from the mouth of someone who has wronged me before.

It is important to be scrupulous and discerning.

Every person is like a field, in my eyes. They have a choice of what to tend to, within themselves. They have a choice of which plants to nurture. Free Will.

This was my mistake in my leaving behind of feminism, activism, even my normal life.

The types of people whom I met online had promised that I could burn with impunity.

"Who cares about the opinions of sexists, abusers, transphobes.... etc. etc. ?"

Any accusation can be warped to fill this void.

"I will always be justified in my anger, because I am a 21st century feminist."

So said the Nazis. So said many.

Key point: "Always".

Are you justified in your anger right now?

Maybe so.

Are you always justified in your anger?

Are you looking for reasons to get offended at someone, backtalk, backstab, be a bitch...?

Instead if just correcting them, giving them a new way to think about things and setting them on a better path in life...

That's my personal grievance against so many anti-trans radfems. BUT NOT ALL!

There are a lot of intelligent writers. It is all dependent upon your own personal cultivation and responsibility of your skills.

No one else can do it for you.

It doesn't matter what group you are a part of. Nothing guarantees that you are a good person. That is the basic human conundrum that everyone has to live with.

[iconoclast-infidels]

@nyantry

Dmitry was his sanctuary like the hunchback calling it out in Notre Dame. He wanted to yell it out, claim he was here, and never be forced to leave. Well, minus abusive clergy forcing him to be there. This wasn't like Esmeralda not doing well inside stone walls kind of sanctuary. This was the only place Nico felt safe kind of sanctuary.

So good.

"He might be, but so what if he's Jewish? I don't care what religion he is when I do know one thing. He's from Mutha Russia. I'm your piece of American tail, my libble Mouskewitz." He gave his bottom a little scootch and shimmy thinking he was clever. The whole bit of teasingin such low frequency was rising his spirits up. "Oh yeah, twice a year. Minimum. At least."

Then Dmitry touched his face. Nico's mind was still on Fievel. "I can picture you in that oversized hat." Nico's mind was filled with cuteness overload as these images came to him. He already fit the image of wearing oversized clothes. That was simply Dmitry's way. He was such a Fievel. All these thoughts went through his mind as he reached to finally touch that shorter than normal hair cut Dmitry was sporting.

"Yeah well I missed touching you." He could look in those eyes like they were a familar home, but every glance was brand new like he was seeing them for the first time. The contradiction became a strange tickle in the middle of his tummy. His hands slid downthe hair that framed his face around the curve of his jaw.

"I will. I'll ask." Nico wasn't afraid to ask questions when he was ready. He wasn't ready to bombarde the moment with an interrogation of questions. Over time he'd get there. "When I'm ready."

Then in the same vein Dmitry pleasantly surprised him by propositioning a kiss, but only when he was ready. Also smart despite Nico's desperate need for this closeness. His infernal walls were always up gaurded waiting for the catch to screw him over in the end all the time. He always looking for those loopholes or other shoe to drop right on his head.

He thought this over while looking from Dmitry's eyes, glancing down to his lips, and back up. He thought about what he'd learned. Dmitry hadn't been with anyone else. No emotional block there to wade through. Even his explanation on why not was somewhat ego stroking not that a four year ability to hold out was very ego stroking, but his words certainly helped fill in the void. Besides that Dmitry had promised to fill him in on everything he missed. That would take time. It was already stated that his intentions were to come home and continue to be together. He was willing to go get Gary too so there was nothing too suspect there. Nico's whole family would be reunited. That's really all he wanted even though he wanted the time endured apart to matter. All he wanted more than anything.

As a matter of fact, "Have you seen or read His Dark Materials? Well, I know you have Lisbeth as a familiar, but I feel like in part, I'm your daemon in the way they are described in that story. They're part of your soul. Part of your soul and they actually can't be parted from the person or the person becomes ill and eventually dies. There's this section of the story where the main girl goes far away and is separated when she traveled to the underworld because no daemons could go there in the story, only the people. In all technicality they're dead even though they're alive just from the split, from the travel. It was excruciating to them. It was hard for the little daemon animal to forgive the human for leaving them behind but how could they not? It was like not forgiving themselves. They knew it was a journey they had to take. Just like I know it's one you have to every time you might die. I tried to see this time as the same. I kept a watch out for if you died. I knew I'd sense it. Ya know? But point is... something in me hurt as I knew this was something you had to go through and well, I'm way too self centered not to forgive myself eventually. Sooooo..."

Then he pulled his hands from Dmitry's face and picked up his phone again. He smiled as he typed "I forgive you" on the journal reply and held it down where he could see and yes Constance was still playing.

Then he leaned in for that kiss. Just one. Just a soft one. It was nothing overzealous or as desperate as his body felt to connect. It was careful. It'd been too long and he wasn't about to make himself wait as Dmitry so respectfully offered if need be. No. Nico felt enough time had been lost. The rest they could figure out as they went.

Dmitry felt relief when Nico leaned on him. It made him feel wanted and like he was a sanctuary for Nico. He clung tightly to that, not really wanting to let go either. Nico was home. Right there, in each other's arms, that's where home really was.

He listened to Nico speak, smiling at the similarities. He'd almost forgotten how exactly alike they could be sometimes, and some of Nico's ways and interests had rubbed off on him after so much time together - even despite all the time apart. Graveyards, serial killers, Second Christmas - these things were familiar, were theirs.

He giggled at the Fievel comparison, however. "Isn't he Jewish?" he questioned, rather amused. "I'm not Jewish, but I can be your Fievel still," he grinned. "I'll die without Christmas, minimum twice a year, you know it."

The whole time, he spoke quietly, wanting to keep the moment intimate, just between the two. He needed that. He reached carefully to Nico's face, daring to rest his fingers lightly on Nico's cheek, watching intently and with admiration. He didn't want to move too fast, in case it was too soon, but he needed to touch him, to know it was really real.

"I miss how you touch me," he admitted with a whisper, simple and without any shame or fear. "I miss you. I'll tell you anything, everything, you just ask." He dropped his hand back to Nico's shoulder, keeping him close. "I want to kiss you, but I know... It's up to you, whenever you feel it's right. I can wait for you too, if you need."

"Gary won't be expecting me until later, there's time. We'll bring him home, I promise," he added in their secret radio wave, the one that was just theirs.

[luvulyy]

𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄? ✷

𝖬𝖤𝖦𝖴𝖬𝖨 𝖷 𝖦𝖤𝖭𝖣𝖤𝖱 𝖭𝖤𝖴𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖫 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓, 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧: please please please can i request some more megumi angst. maybe he’s feeling like reader doesn’t want him around because they’re shutting everyone out cause they don’t feel well and then he ends up crying and confessing that he feels as though they don’t love him anymore. maybe reader opens up about what they’re going through and then lots of cuddles and kisses :)))

They hadn't spoken in weeks.

Megumi tried to ignore it. It started slow but Y/n always seemed to have a excuse when they spoke, when he tried to do anything together. It had been subtle but grew until every time he spoke he was met with 'sorry I promised to's and 'maybe later I'm busy right now's.

He'd tried to ignore it, until he couldn't anymore.

They weren't speaking to him, they werent speaking to anyone. Since they'd stop dragging Megumi around it was instantly clear they weren't going out at all, barely even leaving their room to eat.

Megumi tried be understanding. He kept his tongue to himself and swallowed back every confrontational remark. He'd tried to give Y/n space.

But his emotions had bubbled and festered for too long, and now threatened to burst.

And now, as he trailed along the road in step behind them, he couldn't hold them back.

They'd been forced to be the ones to run out and get groceries together, everyone else occupied. It shouldn't have been a problem, the two lovebirds could make a fun time out of anything - normally. All that remained now was an akward silence as they trudged around the store, and an only large void between as they stepped into the night.

The night was quite and dark, not another soul in sight. Their only other company was the warm street light, and occasional car streaking past. The sky threatened to rain, the occasional drop dancing as a warning. It would have been a beautiful moment to share, if not for the storm of anguish entirely consuming Megumi.

Even now, Y/n wouldn't even look at him. They kept a few strides ahead without muttering a single word, as if complete strangers. The distance only grew as they walked towards the school, matching the chasm in their relationship.

That thought was all it took to push Megumi over the edge. No way in hell were they strangers, they were supposed to be their other halves. Know each other better tham anyone else. Promised to love each other.

Not shut out like this, with the key carelessly thrown away.

Before he could stop himself he raged forward and grabbed them by the shoudler, fiercely flinging them around to face him. The puddles beneath him splashed in protest but they were long forgotten, only the flame in his eyes left.

'What is with you?!' He spat, groceries and rain that started to stream forgotten. The clouds seem to mirror his rage as the downpour began to cascade.

Megumi poked Y/n in the chest, face twisted in pure rage. 'Hey. Is it something I did?'

Silence.

'Seriously?!' He couldn't feel the freezing night air anymore, nor water running down his face and back as he fumed. He was numb to everything but the feelings whirrling and spiralling beneath his skin. He swore he could hear his heart break despite the rush of rage flooding his veins.

'Don't...don't you love me anymore? Is that it?!' Megumi could feel his voice rising but couldn't help it as his eyes began to burn.

Silence again. But this time cut deeper.

'At least have the decency to tell me if you don't! Don't leave me guessing like this, please...'

He didn't realise when he started to cry.

He released their shoulder and instinctively covered his face in his hands. The dam had been broken and tears streamed down his cheeks, choking out sobs.

'At least let me k-know, so I can try to move on li-like you have.' His words were forced through hiccups, rubbing at his red eyes and begging them to stop spilling.

Megumi sobbed, like he would never stop.

He couldn't stand to lose them, so helplessly like this.

At least give him a sign, anything.

Then suddenly and without a word, Y/n flung themselves into Megumi's arms. The air knocked out of his lungs and his heart sank further as they hiccuped against his chest.

As drops drowned down on both of them, it became clear Megumi wasn't the only one sobbing uncontrollably.

After a minute of desperately cluthing to each other, Y/n finally spoke. It must have been the first time in weeks, and even their worn scrathed voice was like music to Megumi after the drought.

'I-I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's me. Well not like that.' Despite the tears, they wettly chuckled.

'I don't know what's wrong with me. I've just felt so hopeless, so alone. I know I've been distant from you guys but I couldn't help it. I didn't realise I was hurting you just as bad in the process. I've just felt so unwell, I didn't see what I was doing until it was too late...'

Megumi's heart managed to break again. He'd had no idea it was something like this, something so bad. He only wished they'd let him in sooner to help.

His grip tightened around them, they'd deal with it as one now, if he had any word about it.

Megumi pressed a soft kiss to their forehead and muttered softly. 'Don't just ignore me like that again. Whatever it is, we'll face it together, okay?'

'Now come on, let's get you warmed up and cuddled.' With that Megumi linked it hand with Y/n's, finding a gentle rhythm as they hurried home together. Well drenched by this stage, it didn't matter as they held each other close.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

white wolf: “the story of a first date”

first part — second part — third part — fourth part (soon)

© @capsgrantrogers

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Sam helps Bucky to ask you out for a date and it's a disaster, but he gets it.

word count: 3.147 words. (not sorry, it worth it, i promise!!!)

warnings/tags: none. bucky being the cutest gentleman in the whole wide world, and sam keeping an eye on him.

author notes: as it happened with the first part, i'm not really happy with the result but i had so much fun writing it and i think that that made this writing perfect, so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

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The car stopped because of a red light, a moment where Sam took the advantage to turn at his copilot, glancing at Bucky from top to bottom in complete silence. Analyzing him. The soldier tilted his head raising an eyebrow, showing his curiosity about what the hell he was doing.

“What are you gonna wear, uh?” Sam asked then, maintaining a serious gesture on his face.

“Clothes”. Unworriedly, he put back his eyes to the front window.

“You probably look good naked, but that’s not what I’m talking ‘bout”.

“Just… some jeans, a shirt, and a jacket”.

“And shoes, I guess”.

Bucky turned on his seat towards his friend, squinting confused for the interrogatory. “Who cares?”

“About the shoe—”

“About the clothes”.

“Man, it’s a date! Do you wan’her to remember this night as the night Bucky Barnes shown up as a Russian bum?”

“I’m from Brookl—”.

“Yeah, but you look like mother Russia just spat you to the world”.

Sam rolled his eyes as a sigh escaped his mouth. Shaking his head, he took the next corner to the fifth avenue changing the planes they had in mind. A good outfit meant a good date. A good date meant happy soldier. Happy soldier meant no trouble. See the point? So the Falcon would take care of the Winter Soldier today. If only Steve could see them. He’d feel proud, that was for sure. They visited a couple of shops, finally letting Sam take control over the situation and pick the clothes he would wear for you. He had good taste, everybody knew that, and Bucky couldn’t complain about his choices.

Even less when the distinctive black suit dressed his anatomy to perfection. Spinning around in front of the mirror, he felt different. He looked different. He looked good, but not as he’d like. Holding the bucket of flowers once he was ready, Bucky left his apartment straight to the garage under the building. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie. But he had that sensation inside him that made him believe everything would be okay for the first time since he woke up.

The road didn’t take him more than ten minutes, not really worried about the time given that he had planned to arrive a little sooner than accorded. Life seemed like it was smiling at him, finding a parking lot in the same entrance. Landing his blue eyes on the rearview mirror, Bucky took a last view at his reflection, brushing back his hair as he used to do in the forties. He grabbed then the flowers he bought for you and stepped out of the car, trying to remember the advice Sam gave him. Resting his back against the copilot's door, he waited impatiently for you.

“Hey, you”.

His heart stopped for a second, raising his orbs to the man coming closer. Before he could react, the man in question tucked a hand beneath Bucky's jacket. Patting him down.

“What the hell are you doing, Sam?” He questioned irritatedly, slapping his hands and causing him to laugh.

“Just checking you didn't bring the notecards again”.

“Yeah, very funny…”

“Man, look at you! Should be illegal to look this good, uh?” Sam helped him to put on the jacket again, receiving another slap from his friend.

“Don't touch me”. Scowling, he fixed the flowers in his left hand, wanting them to be perfect. “Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Watch you till (Y/N) comes. Lemme take a picture, I feel like a proud father on his son's prom day”.

“You're not m— Get the hell outta here, Sam”.

“Fighting again, kids? Should I call your mama?”

As Bucky heard you scoff, his soul abandoned. His pupils dilated. His legs trembled. And he could swear that everything disappeared around him when he watched you going downstairs, swinging your hips unconsciously sensual, with a black dress fitting you like a glove. If this morning Bucky wanted to marry you, now he wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side. Your makeup was on point, just like your hair, not being too formal but enough to run him out of words.

“Steve is off-duty, so, what 'you gonna do, soldier?” Sam mocked, an instant before noticing how pale Bucky was. He couldn't help but slap the back of his neck to bring him back to reality.

“I, uh… flowers… I bought you…”

“You're not Yoda”. Sam whispered as the other offered you the present.

“C'mon, stop messing with him”. You clicked your tongue, right before you drew an adorable smile on your lips, leaning to kiss Bucky's cheek. “Thank you”.

“You're welcome”. He just answered, responding to your same gesture while opening the door for you.

“Such a gentleman…” His playful murmur made Bucky frown and nudge him, trying to stop him from saying anything else and ruin the occasion.

“I'll bring him back at ten”. You joked palming his chest.

“The point is to not bring him back to me”. Sam cackled, shaking his head and taking a step back.

Once in the car turning on the engine, James joined the road after checking you were good. Never in his life he had driven with so much care as if he was carrying a bomb by his side. He set on the radio, not really knowing how to start a conversation, watching you through the corners of his eyes caressing the flowers over your lap. No one had bought you them before, thinking it was a thing that only happened in movies. But then, you met Bucky. An old-fashioned man, making yourself wonder how he was the same the news used to say he was a cold-blood assassin.

“What have you thought?”

“Uh?”

“About the date”.

“Sam told me about a rest—”.

“Okay, okay, Bucky. Pull over”. You couldn't help but burst into laughter, as his face was pale again thinking you were about to step out and end the date.

“Sorry, did I…?”

You swiveled at him on your seat, kissing your teeth and squinting inevitably. Studying his face you knew how afraid he was, and it was the most adorable reaction ever. You could have kissed at that precise instant, but it'd have been a little awkward.

“Where do you wanna go?”

The question didn't take him by surprise, actually. He was still getting used to doing the things he desired and not what other people asked him to do. The restaurant was a fancy place with a distinguished menu according to what his friend explained to him, but it wasn't the kind of site that he'd normally go, or that represented him.

“When I, uh… came back, I discovered that my favorite burger joint in Brooklyn was still standing”. Bucky told you, facing you after finishing the sentence. “They prepare the best burgers of the whole New York and you can decide what ingredients add, and the bread, and the kind of meat. And it still having the original decoration”.

You reclined on your seat, just staring at him talking with that kind of burning passion about something he loved. Puckering your lips, you nodded your chin. The fact that not only he wanted to take you to a different place, but a place that he used to go to when he was young made butterflies flutter within your belly. Bucky wanted to make you part of his future, but also his past. That made the difference.

“Sounds good to me”.

“Really?” He inquired funnily confused, wrinkling his nose and forehead.

“Really”.

The shine that appeared within his eyes made you place a hand on his cheek to urge him to turn his head and drive again. An innocent gesture that provoked him a lively giggle. If that man knew all the things he caused you, he'd have taken the step months ago.

As the night went on and Bucky was losing his shyness, he talked to you about the good old times. Before HYDRA, before the winter, before the war. When he was a kid with no worries more than keeping Steven safe from the bullies. It was nice to disconnect from the present, from the gazes around the two of you, from the back talks, only enjoying your dinner and your conversation. You talked to Bucky about how was to be raised on a farm, surrounded by open fields and animals, to join the army years later. Without going into details that could make him remember the old bad times, you told him about what you used to do, your missions, and how you were wounded in combat after being shot and fell from a helicopter.

Bucky felt confident enough to compare it with how everything started. Falling from a wagon to the snow. But as soon as his voice became lower, you couldn't help but hold his gloved left hand and intertwine your fingers with his. And you could swear you felt him shaking for a brief moment because of your touch.

“So, what, uh? It was a forties trend to jump into the void?” You tried to joke, wanting to feel relaxed.

“Yeah, seems like”. He mumbled curling up his lips. “Listen… I really want to… open up, and I know it’s easier with you because… y’know, you work doing this”.

“Hold on, Bucky”. You laughed waving your free hand, shaking your chin as you closed your eyes for a second. “That has sounded really bad”.

“Wait, wh— Oh, shit, no, no, no”.

For the first time since you walked into the small restaurant, his laughter was lively, unworriedly, honest.

“Take it easy, just kidding”. You grinned, nailing your elbow on the table to rest your cheek on your palm. “But… this isn’t work. We’re not doing therapy, we’re… knowing each other. And I don’t want to pressure you to talk about something you don’t feel prepared to, okay?”

“I know”.

Bucky couldn’t believe how much you seemed to empathize with him, not judging his acts nor his past, not deciding that the date wasn't a good idea nor running away. He couldn’t believe the less importance you were giving to his arm made of vibranium; usually, people used to freak out, to feel frightened somehow about the things it could do. But you were there, fingers playing with the others as if it was the most common and natural act in the world. And, for you, it was. That was you in all your best. Considerate, smart, patient, lovingly. The rainbow after a stormy life. Everything that Bucky needed in his life to start from scratch and be his better version. A shoulder to lean on and a reason to come back home.

“Was afraid of asking you out”. He confessed after some seconds admiring each other. Any person closer would say you had been dating for a long, long time by the way you had to keep silent and not feel uncomfortable.

“Why?”

“You came from war and made your world a place to live. I’m still stuck there”.

“I have my own red flags”. Clicking your tongue, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, really? Please, surprise me”. Bucky teased you sitting up on his chair, not loosening the gentle grip around your left hand.

“I put the milk before cereals”.

“Oh… Oh, God”. He let out, pretending to be horrified and running a hand on his face. “Goddammit… you’re a monster, ma’am. I don’ think this is going to work”.

“Excuse me?” You chuckled, parting your lips in a breath while leaning over the table to palm his right shoulder. “It wasn’t me who added lettuce to the burger”.

“What? What’s the matter with that, uh?”

“Lettuce kills the savor!”

“Y’know what kills the savor? Ketchup. Today, people use ketchup literally with everything… And that’s disgusting”.

“Okay! Next time, no lettuce, and… no ketchup”.

“That’s a big challenge”. Bucky scoffed tenderly squeezing your hand between his cold fingers.

“I’ll live, Sergeant Barnes”. You narrowed your eyes and crinkled your nose at the same time.

“I was talking about a second date, not about your issue with ketchup”.

“So was I”.

A goofy smirk appeared on Bucky’s face, biting his inner cheek as he assented with his head. Seeing you again, knowing that you wanted it —that you wanted him—, made him trust Dr. Raynor’s words. He was having a second chance to do the right thing. To live and to be.

You wanted to add something else when the clock in his wrist started to beep. Curious, you raised an eyebrow. “We have to leave”.

“Why?”

“Sam told me you work tomorrow at eight, which means you’ll get up at six and a half… maybe seven. While I pay, take you home, all that stuff… I don’ want you to be tired in the morning”.

Bucky would never stop to amaze you, looking up to him in silence to contemplate how he called the bartender and beckoned his free hand to ask for the bill.

“What…? What are you doing?” He chuckled embarrassed, taking his beer to sip.

You cleared your throat when you realized how stupid you should look right now, shaking your head as you freed his cold hand from yours to find unlock your phone as soon as the guy brought the dataphone.

“Hey, no, no. I asked you out, I pay”. Bucky began to fight with you, provoking some laughs on the table as you tried to put your screen above the tpv.

“Well, welcome to the twenty-first century”. You hummed as the operation was confirmed.

“I’ll pay next time”. He declared licking his incisors, prior to his lips.

You wished the ride back home to last forever, not wanting to end the date. But the car reached your neighborhood in a blink of eyes. You couldn't help but sigh barely appreciably for your companion, gazing through the window until double parking in front of your apartment. You turned towards him, hearing the engine shut off. Bucky seemed disappointed like you, not being able to remember when was the last time he had a break, he had fun. The date was nicer than he expected but the idea of not knowing exactly when he was going to see you again was killing him from the inside.

“I'll accompany you”. He declared undoing his seat belt as you did to step out.

You reacted with a delicate smile, holding the bucket of flowers against your abdomen while walking to the front door of the building. That moment was a little uncomfortable, not being sure about how to say goodbye, just looking like two teens in love.

“Thank you for tonight, Bucky”. You uttered without thinking about it. “It's been the best night I've ever had”.

“Next will be better, I promise”.

“That's a big challenge”. You chuckled repeating his words a while ago in the restaurant.

“I'll live”. He nodded convinced, glancing at you bowing down your interest to the red roses between your hands.

How could you tell him that you were dying to be together again? That you wouldn't mind waking up sooner and having breakfast? You bit your inner upper lip, trying to find the correct words to say, without sounding like you were feeling something else to a physical attraction. Bucky was hot as hell, that wasn't up to debate, but he was the kindest and charmingest man you had known. He was sensible and strong at the same time. You both complemented the other like the pieces of a puzzle and you never thought something like that could happen to you. To find your other half and having it so clear you didn't want anyone else.

“I am, uh… free tomorrow”.

His words pushed you out of your thoughts, putting up your attention to a Bucky almost flushing, stroking the back of his head, and having the impression that he could scare you.

“Got a break for lunch, if you want”. You proposed without hesitation.

His eyes sparkled with happiness, holding your left hand with his to bring it to his mouth, placing a fond kiss on the back. Such a gentleman, like Sam said, inducing your cheeks to burn. And then, you saw him doubting about taking another step. You wanted it too to happen, tho, leaning forward to press your lips together. Your eyes snapped closed at that precise instant, not having any rush, tasting each other's and shortening the distance between both of you by his free arm getting wrapped around your waist. The kiss was innocent but passionate. It was warm, intimate, trying to transmit all the chemistry you woke up within the other with only one look, with only one smile. Breaking it —much to your regret— when you needed air to breathe. And even so, Bucky rested his forehead against yours freeing your hand to place it on the right side of his neck.

Neither of the two of you opened your eyes, extending the moment as much as you could. You felt he craved to spend the night with you, and you desired it too, but you also felt that he needed some time to get used to this new world he was living in. It wasn't easy. You thought back to the months after the war, the recovery, the loneliness you forced yourself to be in. You were in Afghanistan for three months. He had been fighting since nineteen forty. And he didn't want to ruin what you were building together.

“I should leave”. Bucky murmured against his wishes.

“See you tomorrow”.

At the moment you opened your eyes to meet the pale blue ones, your whole body felt weak. You saw the brightness in them after letting him know that the second date was going to happen and that it wasn't just a formality before disappearing, wiping out any minimal doubt by kissing him again. The last kiss. A good night, I'll dream with you kiss.

“I'm gonna play this on your wedding day, definitely”.

You screamed because of the unexpected metallic voice coming closer, clinging to Bucky's neck as his heart raced too. Redwing was suspended in the air some steps away from you, being controlled by Sam. Who else is not him, uh?

“I'm starting to think you have separation anxiety”. The soldier growled trying to hit the flying device with his flesh hand, hearing you laughing against his chest.

“Good night, kids”. You chuckled separating from Bucky.

“No kiss for me, soldier?”

“I'm not gonna kiss that thing, Samuel”.

“What about a howl, White wolf? Would be very appro—”.

“White wo—”.

“Please, don't. Don't ask”. Bucky begged you, licking his bottom lip while rubbing the back of his head, clearly ashamed.

“Hope you show me one day what it means…”

“Oh, he will… Just wait till the full moon”.

“Sam!” Bucky and you yelled in unison, you playfully, he annoyed.

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[aiylabaysal]

Aiyla was contemplative and in agreement with Billie. Scar tissue, emotional or otherwise it wound up about the same, physically seen or unseen life goes on, we heal and move around it; she knew this. She had thought something terrible would fall from Billie's lips by the build up that had wound its way around her chest. She'd not allowed herself to imagine the possible scenarios, Aiyla didn't care to put herself through things twice if she could help it, so she waited for Billie to fill in the gaps. If she had allowed herself to imagine to unfold the possibilities she didn't think she would have imagined what Billie was telling her.

Her breath shrunk around her lungs, each exhale short and quiet as she steeled herself against the painful emotional reaction that welled up inside her to hear the word; monsters used against their kind, against them. She blinked hard pushing away the memory of the first time she'd heard that word hurdled at her. It has sounded different, come out canavar, in Turkish first in the below of her mother's voice the first time Aiyla had screamed. That was before she knew how to control it, before she knew how dangerous her voice could be- her mother had been temporarily deaf from the sound. Aiyla reasoned that was why she yelled until her voice was raw and just as unusable as her hearing. Still, Aiyla made excuses for her, the way all children did for their parents. She remained quiet, as Billie explained, even as her mind was a roar of her own horrors. Monster...the word repeated in a quiet echo in the back of her mind. Her stomach rolled, and her heart ached, the physical soul-deep sort of ache that could only be expended by doing. She felt the energy of this terrible feeling well up inside of her, a hot and heavy thing that made her heart sink into the pit of her stomach.

Aiyla was quiet a moment after Billie finished, her gaze soft and understanding as she finished. All the words and things she wanted to stay had tangled around her ribcage. Aiyla needed a moment to untangle them, string them together into something impactful, helpful...promising. "You're not a monster. We're not monsters." Aiyla said first, her words even and not betraying the cataclysm of feelings that weighed her in place. "Love will make us do things we normally wouldn't. I understand why you would offer anything you had to save her." Aiyla acknowledged with a bow of her head. She would have done anything for the people she loved the most. She understood the innate fear of loss. "They lied to us, Billie. No one was actually safe. They didn't hold to their word, and you're not bound to the one you gave." She drew a breath, "I don't need to tell you that is an accord, right?" She asked, concern heavy now on her face. "If you did something like that, I would do my best to defend you. But if you were caught there would be a trial. The punishment for that it wouldn't be light. Do you understand?"

Aiyla held out a hand, an offering of understanding that she was not turning her back on Billie. "Where you were before here, the life you lived and had to live to survive, is not who you are now. You do not owe the Catalyst anything. We can find other ways to keep Bex, and all those we care for safe. She's in the coven, correct?" Aiyla paused very briefly before adding," So the thing you promised, since they did not make good on their end, is void as far as I'm concerned. Do you agree?"

"Time, and physical distance, I suppose, are a sort of scar tissue to memories, certainly," Billie said. The distance made the fear more irrational; there was an entire ocean separating Billie from the man who both raised her and tried to kill her, and, over the last few years, that knowledge was less of a knife hanging over her head and more of a painful reminder. If she could remind herself that the fear was irrational, then it was better. Not okay, never okay, but better. Nothing about her life before coming here would ever be okay.

It wasn't right, anymore, to keep this from Aiyla. Not when she was the Fae Queen. Not when she'd unwillingly let a killer into her court. "I wouldn't blame you for thinking poorly of me," Billie started, unable to look at Aiyla. "I think it'd be rather warranted. I... was not a good person before I came here. I thought I was. I was raised to believe I was doing something good." This was harder than telling Ken had been, sitting in the jail, not sure what was about to happen. Now, the uncertainty was still there, along with a great deal of shame. "I was raised to hunt monsters. Us. That's what I was told. I believed it for a long time." She believed it for most of her life. Sometimes, she woke up still believing it; she had to remind herself that humans lie. "It was rather awful, really, to find out I was fae. Even worse when my dad found out. That's why I'm here. That's why I..." she sighed. "I ran, swam, really, a long way to get here. And I have tried to leave all of that behind. I'm not like that anymore. But I don't have money, not a lot, and I don't have many talents. So I offered... I offered a favor," she whispered. "I offered to use what I'd been taught as a child if--" Billie looked Aiyla in the eyes, hoping against hope that there'd be some sort of understanding. "She wouldn't save herself. I knew she wouldn't. I had to try."

[cher-writes]

Playground Love | Klaus Hargreeves X Reader (16+)

A/N: I've always felt like Klaus had a lot of selfish lovers at some point in his life. People who didn't really love him but his masochistic tendencies made him go back to them time and time again. This one-shot is kinda on the perspective of such a lover. Hopefully you'll enjoy.

Word count: 1.3k

CW: Insinuation of Self-harm, Suicide attempts, Substance use and Sex.

Art work by: @meamme1 , Thank you so much for letting me use your gorgeous piece!

Follow the artist's insta here (or search @meamme1 on insta).

Special thanks to my beautiful friend @crisis-of-joy for being my benevolent editor.

~Yet my hands are shaking

I feel my body remain,

Time's no matter, I'm on fire

On the playground, love~

It was hard to love Klaus. But you didn’t really love him, did you?

Let’s not discount your efforts. You tried at first; perfunctory, desultory, trivial tries. And maybe you did love him, in some of those moments when he blew cigarette smoke into your open mouth in the early hours of a July hell, or when he ardently kissed your cold feet warm in the late hours of a November void.

How could you not have loved him when he cleaned the vomit, spit and snot off your face with his bare hands after you drank a bit too much, not being able to bear the sheer helplessness of January rain?

When you took him in your tart mouth after days of him sweating and trembling for some humanly unknowable reason, under the window sill as the April dusk soaked through the lifeless buildings, how could he not have loved you too?

Maybe that’s what love is, those fleeting, inconsequential moments. But deep down you both knew that there was no love between the two of you. Those moments only stuck like leaves on a tree baring itself for the fast approaching winter.

You knew, and you pretended he did too.

He came and went as he pleased, habitually whimsical. Always looking a bit different than the time before, or as much as you could care to remember. His face faded from your memory every time he left. You let him ‘cause there was no reason for you to keep him on a leash.

You two weren’t close like that.

He talked. He told you all kinds of things about himself, most of which you didn’t listen to and the parts that you did, you don’t remember. Maybe that’s why he talked to you so much, he sensed your absence.

Although you were merciful to him, never really telling him anything substantial about yourself. You didn’t need to, there was no reason to.

You two weren’t close like that.

But he knew you liked his warm hands on your hips under the blanket following a cup of hot chocolate.

You don’t really remember how you met him. It’s as if he existed in your life since the beginning of cruel time but that wasn’t the case. You can clearly remember a time before him but exactly when he appeared out of thin air, you didn’t bother to keep track of.

Then why was that, you wondered, as his tongue set fire to your loin on miserable festive evenings, you let him in your life?

Then why was that, you tried to remember, as his throat pulsed under your crude grip on hollow autumn daybreaks, you let him in yourself?

Then why was that, you furrowed your brows contemplating as his hot, panting body pressed you against the wall on doleful Friday nights, you let him stick around?

It wasn’t love, that much you knew. It wasn’t kindness either, there was no rationale for you to be kind to him. And you were beyond the capabilities to conjure pity. Then why?

As he licked the disgusting maple syrup from the side of your mouth on one unbearable Tuesday morning, it occurred to you; about the invisible and invincible ties of the universe which bestowed his company onto you. Some intangible force, some abstract fate, some obscure theory about the atoms made it so that he had to exist in your vicinity every now and then, and you didn’t have it in you to defy God.

You couldn’t defy God, but you did defy compassion on multiple occasions.

Some nights when he couldn’t close those green, exhausted eyes of his with all the strength in his supernatural world, or on the afternoons when he clutched those absurd dog-tags round his neck lying on the cold bathroom floor, you defied all of your theoretical humanity as you simply just looked away. You never knew why he did what he did. He told you, maybe, but you don’t know that either.

His existence didn’t make sense to you, it was as if a glitch in the logic behind the cosmic mechanics.

It wasn't about what he was, you weren’t oblivious to his paranormal origin. You wouldn’t say it was about who he was either.

In all honesty, you didn’t really know who he was...is. Everytime he came around he’d become a different “who.”

Rather it was the very normal about him that sent you thinking in circles. It was the very normal about him that you couldn’t align with logic, you couldn’t put in perspective.

And he warped your perception when he bit your earlobe. He toyed with your logic when he let your fingers dig a bit too deep in his flesh. He loved playing Guns N’ Roses when he put his head on your lap, and maybe he loved you too, it was impossible for you to know that, implausible for you to try.

Though there was one thing that you knew about him with indubitable certainty, he wasn't afraid of death. You’d even go on to say he had a rare fascination towards it, the type of fascination star-crossed lovers seem to have. You knew that ‘cause you saw it. He tried and tired and you stood, looking over, as his sole, soul-less witness.

He never succeeded and at times, it felt to you as if even God hated him. What kind of God doesn't grant His creation even the least bit of relief? So you played God, helping him crush his violet pills when he couldn't get up.

So you played God, letting him bleed on your kitchen counter as long as he cleaned up after himself and discarded the razor blades safely.

He’d sway in your balcony afterwards, dance to some music only the doomed could hear. He’d smile affectionately at you when he caught you looking at him through your half-asleep eyes.

“Mein egoistischer Liebhaber,” he whispered once in your ears while uncut blissful rapture fell upon you, while you pathetically crumbled under him. You didn’t know what he meant, whether it even was something or just his fervid groans taking the shape of foreign words for the amusement of the same God.

Yet those words, you recall their sound, clear as an azure lake, distinct as his emerald irises.

Their meaning didn’t ignite curiosity in you, you still don’t know what they mean. Just the way he said them felt familiar to you. And for that reason alone, you remembered them.

You remembered them every time he looked into your eyes with his dilated pupils after you denied him entry to your apartment in the dead of the night because someone else’s naked body laid across your battered bed.

“I'll crash on the couch, please...”

“No.”

“I won't disturb anyone, I promise!”

“I said no.”

But you let him in tonight, and he’s talking about something, lying beside you as your phone lets you know it’s 4am.

He’s talking about something incoherent again; some apocalypse, some catastrophe, all equally meaningless to you. He talks and talks and let’s you know, finally after a long painful soliloquy, that he has to go away again and maybe this time, he won’t return. You understood that part only, the rest brushes off your skin like mere carpet dust.

Does it bother you? You can’t tell. He says he wants to be loved tonight, very well then.

You give him what he wants. You kiss him on his parched mouth, you take him in like you’re parched of him. His honeydew skin dissolves on your tongue, his fingers wander on your bitter body with endless love. Love...what was that again?

You let him come inside of you. Let a part of him linger in you just for a bit. He kisses you on the temple. You could feel him quivering, holding onto you, tight enough to leave bruises.

He says he’ll miss you.

He asks you to turn around, face him while falling asleep.

And you shouldn’t cry but you are.

It is hard to love Klaus. And you don’t really love him...do you?

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

Brightly Shone The Moon That Night. A Dark-Cream Christmas story.

The following is a slice of life story about my Dark-Cream family at Christmas. It exists in a universe different to @zu-is-here​ cannon. In this universe positive emotions are not fatal to Shattered so Cross and Dream didn't rush to break the curse. It splits off around 'things will never be the same' or 'the price of happiness'. The twins were created before the last 3 chapters of Dark-Cream were drawn. Any changes to the story or changes to the characters should be accepted as being part of an alternative timeline. Thank you. Enjoy. Original cross and dream belong to jakei95 and joku blog. Original shattered dream belongs to @galacii. This design for shattered is based off the one by @zu-is-here and the Dark-Cream story is also by @zu-is-here​. Most of the Story will be under the cut.

"isn't this a bit much?" the gloopy one said, as his partner wrapped a scarf around his neck.

"nope" the former guard replied "can't have you getting frost bite my love"

Dream simply rolled his eyes. "but I can't really get cold? Or even hot for that matter"

"what are you talking about? you're always hot" Cross replied with a sly smile. This earned a confused look from the smaller skeleton, as Cross carefully tied the scarf and gently folded it under Shattered's jacket. Though it became clear to Cross that Dream had twigged what he'd meant a moment later, evident by the creeping gold blush spreading across his face.

The golden guardian playful punched Cross in the shoulder. "Shush you, keep in clean in front of the little ones"

At that Cross couldn't help but smile and turn his head to his two daughters. The two were in their cot, all dressed in snuggly winter clothes, waiting for their Dad's to be done getting ready. Celest was dressed in a cosy jumper with a little bobble hat, while Luna wore a full bodied coat. Their consistent look of confusion and wonder changed into toothless smiles when their dad looked at them. (idk how teething works for skeletons..... Teeth magically form or something......also tbh they should start teething soon) it warmed Cross' soul.

His attention was drawn back to dream by the sound of metal being placed down on wood. He looked to him, seeing that he'd removed his crown band and set down on the bedside table. Dream then sighed and sagged his shoulders. "it.... It feels wrong not having something on my head"

Cross chuckled.

The 4 of them where taking a trip out today. This was something both Dream and Cross had agreed was a good idea.

Cross' eye lights travelled back to the little ones. They seemed so innocent right now, as if recent events hadn't happened. As if the last two weeks hadn't been difficult to get through.

Celest's code had been burning her a lot, to the point where she'd screamed when either of them had tried to hold her, or even touch her. As for Luna, her throat had become clogged with more gloop then ever before. So much Shattered had to use a tentacle to pull some of it out. She had surely been 5 seconds from suffocating.

It had been a fortnight of sleepless nights, screaming babies and a large amount of arguing. The stress of the situation had pushed them very far apart. Many things had been said, old wounds jabbed at, tears shed. But after a lot of long talks they had sorted out each fight. They were a lot stronger then some petty arguments. There was no room in their relationship for emotional strain......not anymore. The two loved each other, it had just been a difficult time.

In recent days, the twins seemed to have recovered to a stable state. Back to the laughing, smiling, Cow lovers. Cross never thought he'd be so happy that they'd started playing with their cow collection again.

After a long talk with his finance, the two concluded that they'd all been stuck in the void space for way to long. Even with the few rooms and furniture, it's not like there was much to do there and a serious cabin fever had developed. So while the twins were in a good place, they had to take the opportunity to spend some time together as a family.

Cross once again looked back at his partner. Only to need to do a double take. Dream was wearing a hat now. A festive white one with golden stripes running across it. It was reminiscent of a classic Santa hat, other then the colours. The fabric had black stains in several places due to where Dream had touched it. Though despite that Cross recognised it all to well. To his dismay, he felt his face slowly get warm. Their first kiss.

He could remember it clearly in his mind, the mistletoe, the hotel, Gaster sniggering in the corner. But mostly, Dream. The sweet, positive skeleton from back then was very different to the one who stood before him now. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Remembering that day caused his blush to darken. It had truly been one of the most embarrassing, but best days of his life. Though a part of him wondered how Dream still had the hat. After everything, the hat had been saved.

"you've still got that hat?" he said, in a half teasing tone.

Shattered smirked at Cross' flushed face "of course, so many good memories".

A stream of positivity ran through him and with it, it brought a sudden, but expected twinge in his soul. It was a sharp pain, like a knife being slowly pressed in. Dream tried to ignore it but he visually flinched causing Cross to come over.

"positivity again Dreamboat?" he questioned.

Dream nodded "it's alright, I'm used to it" The guardian sensed some sadness from Cross, even if he kept a natural face.

"I'm OK Crossy, promise!"

Cross sighed and gently kissed Shattered's forehead. "if you say so my love"

With that he walked back over to the twins so that he could get their carriers. Dream sighed slightly. It was strange seeing Cross in an outfit different to his guard uniform. So much so that Dream already kind of missed it, not that Cross didn't look handsome is what he was currently wearing.

The last time the family had left the void to go shopping, (which is really a story in itself) they had been stared at from all angles. Every man, women and child. Monster or human, had taken part in watching them. Like animals in a zoo. Cross had insisted that it was the twins they were staring at, since his children were so beautiful that of course people would stare. But in the end both him and Dream knew the real reason.

They were staring at them.

He couldn't really blame them though, how often do you come across a monster with heterochromia wearing what was best described as fancy dress, accompanied by a slime covered skeleton in heels and a crown? Many things had changed since the apple incident, but people staring as he passed had not.

Today they both wanted a peaceful day with their babies, so they had opted to wear more normal clothes. Cross had traded his normal cape and jacket for a puffy white winter coat which he wore a red jumper under. Dream had opted for something similar, though a deep brown colour as to not show the stains so much. It felt odd being in a new outfit, but also very nice. There was only so long someone could take being in tight trousers and shirts with big collars.

The former guard straightened up, clutching a harness in his hands.

"these were definitely a good buy" he said, as he walked back to Dream.

Dream raised an eyebrow "did you really 'Buy' them Cross?" he said is a inquisitive tone.

Cross' body tensed and his partner gave him an sharp stare. Even without his emotion sensing ability, Dream could read Cross like a book.

"uhhhhhhh.......yes?"

"sure" Dream replyed, with slight amusement in his voice.

A nervous chuckle came from Cross. "look they were a good thing to get ok?....... Very helpful for the little ones"

Dream gave him an unsure nod. He still wasn't exactly well versed in child care, so he wasn't really sure what these harnesses where even for yet. Since he figured that the answer was probably obvious, he didn't ask.

"want me to help you get it on?" Cross asked, raising an eyebrow. Shattered wasn't the only one who could easily read his partner.

Shattered said nothing but nodded. His golden blush reappeared when Cross started to run his hands across and around his body to get the harness into place. His soul gave a tiny learch for a moment, but not one of pain.

He knew there was a part of him that wanted Cross to touch his soul again, It had been such a close experience for them both and had brought about a lot of pleasurable feelings. It was truly something he wanted to experience again. A feeling he almost craved. But he knew all to well, as his eye sockets fixed onto the cot to his right, that the potential consequences made it impossible. He was just going to have to live with these unmet desires. Just as he was sure that Cross lived with similar ones.

"there all done"

Dream jumped. Snapped out of his thoughts by his future husband's voice.

Now the harness was all attached. Not too tight, but not too lose. He could see that he now had a pocket on his chest which he guessed the baby sat in. Clever. It was kind of like a kangaroo pouch.

Cross strapped a identical carrier around his own chest and walked over to the babies cot to collect his daughters.

Luna smiled wide at the sight of him. The older skeleton matched her smile and slowly picked his child up. Luna giggled and kicked her tiny feet out as he did. Her tentacle flickered around the corners of her mouth as she laughed. Cross could feel his own joy fill him at the sight. But he nullified it for his partner's sake.

Speaking of which, he turned back to Dream.

"you wanna take Celly or Lu Lu?" he asked.

"I'll take Luna" the smaller skeleton replied "since you are already holding her". He held his arms out in an awkward, slightly unsure way.

Cross gave a soft, knowing smile "Its OK Dreamboat, I'll help you get her in the carrier"

Shattered sighed, irritated by his own incompetence and nodded.

With that Cross carefully attempted to slip the wriggling baby into her carrier. Which wasn't easy, as she cheerfully shifted her legs around. In fact Cross had a slightly hard time keeping hold of her.

After much difficulty, Cross managed to feed her legs through the leg holes and sit her safely inside. The whole time, Dream remained mostly still, he didn't want to do anything in case he ended up hurting Luna.

Once she was buckled in, Cross took a slow step back to admire his handy work. Luna bounced excitedly in her carrier and her Papa looked almost comically uncomfortable by all her movement.

"do you want me to take her Day Dream?" Cross said, upon noticing Dreams unease around the wiggling baby. Dream shook his head "no, its fine" he replied as he relaxed his shoulders. "you get Celest and we can go"

Cross gave a nod and turned back to the cot. As he went to pick up his slightly younger daughter, he noticed that she had in fact fallen asleep. Cross sighed - not again....

For most parents, the time when the children slept was a time of bliss, and after a fortnight of little sleep, Cross almost agreed. But his child had a habit of falling asleep suddenly and for long periods. Dream had told him that when this happened her energy levels were low, showing that her body couldn't regulate itself fully.

With another sigh, Cross carefully picked up the sleeping baby and slipped her into the carrier. It was very hard to wake her when she was like this, but he was still extra careful. Not waking a sleeping baby was basically a universal law, though he would have to if she was asleep to long. After double checking that she was safely inside and her head was supported, he walked back over to Dream.

"any particular preference for an au Dream boat?" he asked

Shaking his head, Dream replied "Not really, just try and get a pacifist timeline"

With a nod, Cross extended his arm. There was a spark of magic at his figure tips and his knife materialised. He dragged it through the air in a fluid motion, as he did it split the air as if it where a piece of cloth. It was a causal splitting of space and time. Simple.

Luna watched her dad with a look of wonder. Her silver eyes where wide and bright.

"gahhhhh daaaaag" she cooed and reached for him.

Cross glanced back at her with a smile "just you wait Princess, when you are older I'll teach you how to do this"

These words hung heavily in the air for a moment, as Cross carefully finished opening the portal. The same thing was on both Cross and Dreams minds.

If you get older.

With a sigh and a snap of his fingers, the knife was gone and the portal was open.

"After you" Cross said, stooping into a slight bow and winking at his fiancé.

Dream covered his mouth with his hand and fake giggled. "Oh what a gentleman" he said with a large smile across his face before walking forward and entering the portal.

The first thing that hit Dream as he reached the other side, was a cold crisp breeze. The chill made him feel grateful that he was wearing his boots, even if they were old and an obnoxious shade of yellow.

The breeze blew lightly causing Luna to shiver. There was no wind in there home, so this brought a welcome change to Shattered. He took a deep breath into his non existent lungs.

It was evening. Strange? He figured that their sense of time must have been thrown out a little. They did live in a void after all. However it was a pleasant evening, with sky littered with stars and a full moon.

Shattered allowed himself to bask in the fresh air for a while, as he heard footsteps behind him and the portal close.

"Oh it's good to be outside again" came Cross' voice from behind.

With a nod, Shattered turned around to face his partner. Luna wriggled more in her carrier, looking around at all the new things she'd never seen before.

"someone is excited" Cross said, leaning down and kissing his daughter on the forehead. She giggled and very nearly headbutt him as he did. Chuckling, he pulled away.

The guard looked around "looks like we're in a small town... If I had to guess its the surface"

The two of them started to look around, trying to find something to engage with. It wasn't long before they spotted something.

Both skeletons attention was caught by something in the near distance. A large crowd of people. Among them were people in hats, jumpers and coats, carrying bags and cups of hot drinks. A vast amount of stalls and stands were among them, not to mention fur trees in fancy dress and lights. Hundreds and hundreds of lights.

"a Christmas Market!" Dream said, his voice hinting an excitement "I've never been to one! I forgot that it was this time of the year"

His excitement felt like a balloon filling inside him. Only to be burst when his soul gave a sting inside his ribs.

But Dream couldn't help but feel a little happy, this was such a good thing to come across, perfect for their trip out.

Cross tilted his head "how do you know what Christmas is my love? It's more of a human custom".

"well that's easy" Dream said, a slight smugness in his voice at the fact he seemed more knowledgeable then Cross about something.

"Christmas is a time where positive emotions take hold, even in the darkest of times, positively rules here"

He eye lit up slightly as he spoke. Even if Dream was corrupted, and technically not the positivity guardian anymore, he was still happy to talk about it. It reminded him of easier times.

"as the former positively guardian it was only natural for me to learn about the festival...." his voice turned somba for a moment "Heaven taught me...... remember?"

There was another heaviness in the air at those words. A unspoken guilt and regret and then a thought. Dream now possessed the very power that had killed him.....

The gloopy one sighed and straightened the baby carrier. Luna gurgled as he did so.

"he would have loved to meet these two wouldn't he" he spoke, his voice twisting in its somba state.

"yeah... But it's ok" the guard replied, taking Dreams hand.

"in a way, he is here" he said in a soft tone, running his finger across Dreams ring. A smile ran across his face before he realised Shattered's hand.

After a short moment of silence they were disturbed by a soft noise. Celest had woken from her sleep. She wriggled and shifted against Cross' chest, her tiny voice gurgling.

"Nice of you to join the party Sweet pea" Cross said, upon noticing.

"we should probably get going, before she falls asleep again" Dream stated in reply. Cross nodded.

The family started to walk together towards the market. As they approached the air was filled with the smell of food and the sound of cheesy pop songs. The emotions of the people around them where starting to fill in.

The first thing that Dream felt was a lot of emotion around him. He was going to need to take a moment to get used to it. From what he could feel it was primarily positive, but then he felt something else.

To his right he felt anger and frustration. That wasn't the kind of thing that he expected this time of year, so he turned his head slightly. There was a human and a monster stood in the huddle.

He caught a few words of what they were saying.

"typical every year you leave gift buying to the last minute" said one.

"it's not completely last minute" said the other.

"it's the 23rd! How is that not last-" and then he was out of ear shot.

"23rd?" Shattered said to himself "huh.... It was my birthday 2 days ago". He counted on his fingers for a moment, trying to figure out how old that made him.

"it was!? Oh my goodness that's right!" came a voice from his side. It was slight panic from Cross. Uh oh.

Dream waved his hands in a jazz hand fashion "woah woah woah, before you go flying off the handle, we both didn't realise-

"I'm so sorry my love!"

Shattered groaned. Here we go.

"I can't believe I forgot! I'll make it up to yo-

Dream cut Cross off with a peak on the teeth. Cross jumped and his face flushed.

"......... Cross, I'm going to have hundreds more birthdays... Its OK if we skip one" the guardian whispered before nuzzling his gloopy face against him. "presides.... We had more important things to worry about"

As if on que both twins cooed.

A little smile creeped on to Cross' face. Dream mirrored it.

"now let's stop standing here go to the market" he held his hand out "it's waiting for us".

With a soft smile, Cross took his hand and they started walking again. It wasn't long before they finally reached the market.

The market was busy.

Both humans and monsters were walking around, talking happily. Children of all ages were rushing around with chocolates in their hands and candy canes in their mouths. Positive emotions were swirling like the snow in the wind. A warm blend of joy, song and family.

The smells of cakes and and pies were everywhere. Hot wine, ginger, cinnamon, dried fruit and nuts. Coffee, chutney, jams and cheeses.

For Dream it was like being spun in a giant bath of spice. The smells did not help his developing headache. There where positive emotions everywhere, every angle.

He let go of his partner's hand and stumbled slightly. The emotions were threatening to make him collapse as they came at all sides. Being in a void space for so long meant he'd gotten used to only Cross' emotions being around. But now there must have been 100 people at lest.

With the surrounding area becoming a blur, the sky and ground became one and he felt something hit his back and press it.

After a moment of silence he could hear the sound of a baby crying from off in the distance. Someone was calling his name but he could hardly hear it as the crying baby got closer. But eventually both got clearer.

"Dream! Dream are you OK!? Can you hear me?"

It was Cross.

"C.... Cross?" he said, looking for his partner's face. He eventually found it, hovering above him.

"why....." he said reaching his heavy arm up "why are you flying?"

The former guard gave him a confused expression. A moment later, Dream realised that the pressure on his back was in fact the floor and he was laying on it.

"you collapsed" said Cross with a pained expression. Cross' worry and stress washed over Dream and snapped him back to reality. The crying baby was very close. In fact it was coming from his chest.

Dream pushed himself onto his elbows and looked down. Luna was crying and wriggling in her carrier.

"oh.... OH!" Shattered said as a sudden and huge instinct hit him. Something he'd not really felt up till this point. Caring not about his state, he pulled her out of the carrier and rocked her in his arms.

"shhhh shhh it's ok, I'm sorry sweetheart, are you hurt?"

If Dream hadn't just collapsed, Cross would have felt happy at the sight of him comforting Luna. The tiny skeleton quieted down, but her non-existent lip was still trembling. Shattered inspected her, happy not to find any marks that would indicate she'd been hurt by the fall. Probably just scared.

"what happened my love?" came Cross' voice again.

"emotions" Dream bluntly responded, before attempting to get to his feet. He hadn't gotten far when he felt his partners hands grip his and help him pull up. He'd barely just gotten to his feet when things started to blur again and his head started to once again throb.

He fell forward slightly into Cross' chest, the guard put his arms around him to support him and keep him steady. He had to be careful to make sure the babies didn't get squished.

Cross' fiancé give out a low, pained groan and Luna give a wine of discomfort.

"Keep hold of her Dreamboat, I'll find somewhere where you can sit down" he softly said, looking around to find a seat. Luckily he spotted a park bench not to far from them.

Cross slowly and gently guided Dream backwards until Dream's legs brushed against the bench and he was able to slowly sit down. He sank his weight against the wooden frame, his limbs felt heavy and his head felt horrible. After a short time he started to adjust. Feeling himself coming back into reality, Shattered adjusted his hold on Luna to make sure he didn't drop her. Cross kneeled in front of them both.

"we can always go home if it's to much for you"

Immediately Dream shock his head, which he regretted a second later as the dizziness ramped.

"no Crossy, we both agreed we needed some time out of the void. ...im sorry that I'm ruining it"

The tall skeleton lightly gripped Dreams shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes.

"you are not ruining anything"

He kissed the bridge of Dreams nose.

"you have made everything in my life better, don't forget that"

A smile ghosted Shattered's face at those words.

"you know.... You're blind, unconditional love for me is really cheesy" he said, his smile turning into a smirk.

"I do try"

The couple shared a laugh and Dream felt himself feel a bit better. He didn't feel great though. The emotions around him where still dizzying.

Behind Cross he could see the market. It truly did look like fun and he felt bad that he'd soured the mood. He continued to rock Luna and she turned around in his arms to burry her face into his chest.

"you should....." Shattered paused as another wave of dizziness hit him "You should go ahead of me, I'll catch up"

"Absolutely not" Cross stated firmly "I will not leave you, I refuse"

"Cross" Dream said in an equally as firmly manner "I can look after myself for 10 minutes, it will be fine..... I want you to go have some fun"

The guard's expression softened and he stood up again, running his hand across the back of his skull unsurely as he did. "I.... I don't know"

Dream rested Luna in his lap and reached his hands out, Cross took them.

"Cross, I want you to go ahead, I'll join you soon, I promise"

Letting go of Dreams hands, Cross sighed. "Alright..... But I'll come back in 15 minutes, if you are still here then we are going home"

Dream nodded slowly "Deal"

After a few more unsure moments Cross started to back away from Dream. He went slowly in order to give Dream time to tell him to stop. After he didn't, Cross turned and walked in the direction of the market.

As Shattered watched Cross walk into the market, he felt his daughter start to fuss in his arms. His golden eye travelled down to her again. She looked a bit confused or upset. Her emotions weren't developed enough to be easily readable by Shattered. But from what he could sense she was distressed by her dad walking away.

He looked back at Cross again, as the guard inspected what seemed to be a stand of various pastries and cakes. There was a sad, yet nostalgic smile on his face.

Shattered watched as he exchanged some words with the vendor and took Celest's little hand and waved it. Clearly he was introducing them. The vendor seemed to coo at the baby a little and Cross straightened up proudly. Probably bragging about something cute Celest had done recently.

After a few more words he put some coins on the counter and was handed a paper bag, containing what Dream had to assume was a pastry of some kind. He waved good bye to the vendor and started to walk away.

As he did, he took his food item out of its bag and went to take a bite. He locked eyes with Dream mid-bite and gave him a slight deer in the headlights look. After finishing taking his bite, he smiled and waved to his lover. Dream waved back.

It was clear from Cross' expression that whatever he was eating was very tasty and it caused Dream to wonder how much food Cross was going to buy tonight.

Luna fussed again as her father and sister got further away.

Luna and Celest had been almost inseparable since day one, Shattered was still a little unnerved by it. They were always most comfortable when together. Knowing this, Dream told himself that Luna was fussing because she was parted from her sister. But another thought came to him.

What if she was sad about Cross leaving?

It was a stupid thing to think, both babies had been apart from Cross before and not responded this way. Yet the thought wouldn't leave him. It was the kind of thought that bounces around your head and burrows into you the moment you try to forget it.

The first time he left them with me for an extended period of time, I'd tried to....

A chill ran over him followed by a long twang of guilt, which caused him to tighten his grip on his daughter. Cross still didn't know about that night and he wasn't sure he could ever tell him. What was wrong with him? He acted like he cherished them these days (or at lest most days), but how could he when he'd thought of doing such a thing? When all he'd felt upon seeing them for the first time was nothing. His eyes stung and threatened to start crying. In that moment he felt tempted to call Cross back and have him wrap his arms around him. But he couldn't. Not while Cross didn't know.

"I'm sorry that I'm not the best parent to you Mi hija"

The words left his mouth as barely even a whisper. They sounded if he'd not been aware he said them. As if he'd not fully intend to say them out loud. His throat was dry and his soul was burning and twisting.

Cross says you are getting better.

One part of him said

But who's to say they will live to see you be better?

He answered to himself.

He felt the fabric of his jacket get tugged slightly. This drew his attention back to Luna.

She had turned in his arms slightly and was looking up at him with wide eyes. If Shattered hadn't known better, he'd have thought he could sense her worrying. Her tiny fist was curled in the fabric of his coat.

"paaaaaa gaa?"

Dream sighed.

"I get a lot of things wrong..... And I'm going to keep getting things wrong, I might be wrong most of the time"

The former guardian continued to speak in a near whisper, his finger stroking the tiny creature's cheek.

"but I'm going to get some things right as well...... And I'll make a deal with you"

Luna's face scrunched up a little. It was almost amusing to see, as if she was thinking really hard.

"if you and your sister keep on fighting, I'll keep on trying" Luna turned her face into his hand and chewed his glove.

"if you stick around long enough, you'll see a day when I get things right most of the time.... You want to see that right?"

"maaaaaa"

"deal?"

"gahhh gahh"

Dream laughed slightly "I'll take that as a yes"

He looked away from her again. Cross had completely disappeared from his view now, probably off stuffing chocolates. Since Dream wasn't someone who needed to eat, he didn't fully understand, but the sweet and warm smells in the air were very pleasant. He'd not eaten a thing for at least two and a half years, maybe he could try a little something. Carefully he slipped the tiny skeleton back into her carrier and fastened her in.

"Should we go check out the market mi pequeña estrella?" he asked, finally getting back to his feet. His daughter gave a gurgle of approval.

"then let's go shall we"

The atmosphere of the market was all together jolly. As he walked into the heart of it, his head throbbed again, but he didn't feel dizzy. He'd adjust to it fully soon.

Despite what he would want to admit, he felt a very slight anxiety without Cross by his side. He was in no way dependent on Cross, but he was so used to having him near, it was strange to have him absent. To not be able to feel his energy or be able to hold his hand.

No Dream! He thought. Don't be such a baby.

He patted his daughters head with his hand absentmindedly, feeling the fabric of her bow slip down slightly as he did. She giggled and a smile creeped onto Dreams face as she did.

A stand caught his eye. It was a stall of what seemed to be jewellery. As many of the stalls were, it was adorned with colourful lights and decorations of all shapes. Though this one in particular stood out to him. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to approach it.

The monster running the stand stiffened as he approached, but he paid it no mind. He could see the jewellery much closer now. Each piece seemed unique and hand made. There were bracelets, earrings, rings and necklaces, shimmering in all different colours. He greatly enjoyed looking over each individual piece, until his eye socket landed on one.

It was a necklace. Gold, set with a blueish purple stone. There was a small crescent charm on the chain as well. Dream stared at it and knitted his eyebrows. For a moment he wasn't sure why it caught his eye. But as he moved his hand up and traced his thumb across the stone, he realised. He then retracted his hand is if he'd been shocked. He stepped back and folded his hands together, but his sight remained locked on it.

Where are you? Are you even still alive?

A long sigh left his mouth as he forced himself to think of something else. But as he turned to walk away, he glanced at it again. It was almost like he couldn't bare to leave it.

I'm being silly, I'm a man, why would I need a necklace anyway?

With that, he tore his eyes away and proceeded to the next stand. As before the monster running it tensed slightly.

This vendor was selling what seemed to be plastic toys and figures. These weren't home made and seemed to be just the same old toys you could buy anywhere. There was doll house items, human figures and animals. He was so busy looking over the collection, that he didn't notice as his daughter reached for her favourite animal. He was only alerted to what she was doing by a slobbery squish sound.

She had suck the head of the toy into her mouth and was chewing on it.

"Luna no!" Shattered said "I don't want to have to buy that"

Carefully his pulled the plastic cow from his daughters mouth. A thin trail of a mix between gloop and saliva followed it. He had no idea how one baby could produce so much spit so fast. He wiped some off on his coat, but it didn't come close to cleaning it. Yeah....... he was going to have to buy it. He had a small purse of gold coins that Cross had given him. He hadn't asked where Cross had gotten the coins, it was probably best not to.

As he handed it to the seller and asked for the price, the slimy coating ran onto his fingers. Yuck. Not that he could really talk though, he was almost completely covered in something worse.

Dream expected to feel anger or disgust come from the stall owner. But instead he could only sense fear. His eye locked with the eyes of the monster behind the counter. It didn't take long for him to realise. Cross might have treated him like he was the most beautiful and sweet skeleton in the multiverse, but that didn't stop his appearance from being...... Striking at best.

He grimaced and handed the monster the money he owed and took back the toy.

"have a nice evening" he said, trying to sound friendly.

"y-you too sir.... Merry Christmas"

He turned away from the stall and walked back into the market. After inspecting the toy to make sure there was nothing small that she could choke on he handed it back to Luna. She happy put it back in her mouth, flicking his hand with her mouth tentacle as she did.

Shattered felt a burst of joy from his daughter, which made him light headed for a moment. After collecting his bearings he smiled.

"Adorable idiot" he said leaning over and kissing the top of her head. "now let's go find Daddy shall we?"

It wasn't a market that was too large, just a fair amount of stalls and stands and a handful of people. There was no doubt that he and Cross stood out, so it shouldn't be to hard to find his partner.

If I where cross.... Where would I go?

The answer came to his mind not even a second after asking it.

Chocolate...

As he'd noted before, there was a vast amount of edibles all around him. Mostly foods of the sweet variety, commonly fruity cakes and pies. But it wasn't long till he saw what he wanted. Out of the corner of his eye socket, he spotted what he was looking for. Just as he'd expected, chocolate.

Humans and normal monsters, seemed to be fascinated in forming chocolate into many different shapes. Animals, people, stars and bells. Shattered supposed that they got more pleasure consuming the sweet substance when it involved biting the head off of a defenceless reindeer, or mutilating a Santa or two.

He approached the stall of chocolate items. It was a pleasant smell, reminding him strongly of Cross' coat. There was no doubt the guard would have come here. He just had to find him.

Meanwhile, as Shattered looked for him, his mate was busy in a hearty conversation with his daughter.

The guard slipped a snowflake shaped chocolate into his mouth, having finished off the pastry long ago.

"now what should be get for Papa as a late birthday present hmm?" he asked Celest as she blew a spit bubble. "Something simple, you know he doesn't like flashy things"

Celest continued to blow a spit bubble and watched it as it expanded. "why is it that he must be so difficult to shop for....

His voice trailed off as he continued to ponder the question. What to get someone who didn't like material things. Other then his scarf, his ring and his crown, Dream never held onto things. Maybe he could get him a new accessory, like a new piece of jewellery or something. He continued to think and slipped another chocolate into his mouth. As he did this, without him noticing, the tiny skeleton had popped the spit bubble and was now reaching for the candy cane sticking out of his shopping bag full of goodies. She grabbed it and without hesitation, plunged the bright stripped stick into her mouth without a care.

After not even a second her face screwed up and she recoiled. She let out a wine of regret and disgust, which alerted Cross that she was distressed.

"No sweetie , that's pepper mint" the guard sighed, plucking the now sticky candy from his daughters hands. He put it on the counter of the stand they were stood next to. A stall selling Christmas fauna such as Holly, pinecones and mistletoe.

As he set the candy down, he saw daughters face still looked unhappy. "that must have tasted horrible" he said, dabbing the spit from around her mouth with his sleeve.

"we'll get you some nice warm milk when we get home ok?" he said in a baby voice, bouncing her slightly to try and cheer her up. It worked and she giggled. Cross sighed in relief, crisis averted.

He thought back to his question about presents. About Dream. It had been a little while since he'd left him. It would probably be a good idea to go back.

"Now if you are done sampling my treat bag Celly, maybe we should go check on-

"hey" came a voice from up close to his left. He jumped. After a second he realised he recognised the voice and turned to meet Dreams gaze, some chocolate still on his cheek. He was about to say something about how it was go to see that Dream was feeling better, when Dream spoke.

"wanna prove you aren't just a 20g wager?" the golden guardian said, with a slightly sly smile.

For a moment Cross was confused. Had the emotions caused his partner to go loopy? Before he could ask, Dream pointed his finger upwards. Feeling more confused, Cross glanced up. He could now see that they were in fact stood under a mistletoe. Quite a few actually. The sight of the white berried plant made his cheeks flush. He'd fallen right into Dream's trap. How had he not noticed.

He swallowed what was left of the snowflake the chocolate in his mouth "uhh um.... Uh"

He locked eyes with Dream again, finding that he'd taken a step closer. Taking a gloved hand and cupping Cross' cheek, he said.

"I'll take that as a yes"

With that he gently pulled Cross' face closer, till the gap was closed between them with a soft kiss. Cross' soul fluttered as Dream leaned in more to kiss him stronger. The taste of chocolate in his mouth was soon replaced with the flavour of bitter apple sauce. But he didn't mind it, he much liked apple sauce. Unfortunately the kiss wasn't long lived. The two were forced to separate after feeling their daughters starting to fuss, since they were being pressed between them. Dream stepped back slightly, giving his children room and took a breath of winter air. The euphoria from the kiss surged through him, as it had been a while since they had and therefore felt really good.

In fact, It had been a while since they'd done a lot of things. Including telling Cross that he........... That's something he needed to fix and fix straight away. His eyes locked on Cross.

"Te quiero, mi soldado" Dream said, with his face dusting gold. He looked away and pulled his scarf over his face slightly.

Cross returned his blush and smiled "yo tambien Te quiero, mi sol"