#I'm shy and too anxious to voice my opinions

[oceannist]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I think the FT ships don't need to have the same children as their Edolas counterparts? We already saw it with Edo!Jerza having Irene, while official art shows Earthland!Jerza with a son.

Nothing wrong with the Edolas kids ofc, I just think it would be cute if the Earthland pairings had the opposite set of genders (e.g., Nalu with a son, Gruvia with a daughter) and the kids in both dimensions even got to meet or interact somehow? Their parents proudly showing them off to their counterparts, like they did themselves back in the day.

[fanfiction4sooya]

yeojin her as a camgirl

I'm slowly getting back into my writings, so hope you like it anon! thanks for your request by the way!!!

tw: +18, smut, size kink, strapon use, exhibitionism, hair pulling, etc; Minors do not interact.

It was an awkward start, specially since the Im Yeojin directly contacted you offering a deal for you to appear on her only fans.

You laughed, a bit taken aback by her bluntness as her eyes scanned you and she began explaining that she overhead your conversation with a friend about your family's money problems and that she could help.

"So, what do you say?" She leaned on your dorm's doorframe, her small figure seemed way too intimidating for you. "I'll make sure to cover your face, no one will ever know that you are the one with me" She stared at your face, impatience eating her insides with each second passed.

"I still have to think" You said, gulping and lowering your eyes. That whole ideia was ridiculously insane and so out of pocket.

She was somewhat famous, didn't care about people's opinions, drop dead gorgeous and she wanted to have sex with you? Like, you knew you weren't ugly, but no one knew you. You were just happy to go through life without anyone noticing you.

That's why her offer, 10k just to let her fuck you live, was way out of anything your mind has ever thought about.

"I searched about your site..." You told her, licking your ice cream after she took you shopping for lingerie just to "make friends" as she explained. "I saw you are one of the best selling content creators..." You timidly said, trying to avoid her piercing gaze. She hummed in response, leaning back on her chair.

"So now you know I make a lot of money" Her voice sounded always so cheerful that it never seemed like she was talking anything near the 'Sex on camera' thing. "Are you still not convinced?" She leaned forward very close to you, boldly licking a stripe of your ice cream. You shivered.

"Well it's not that like... about money and stuff..." You stammered, your eyes locked on hers. "I just feel shy on showing myself to..." You cleared your throat. "All of those people" She smiled up at you, clearly a predatory one. "What if I don't like women?" You whispered to her ear and she nodded.

"You don't have to like me..." Her small hand brushed a hair strand out of the view of your collarbone. "You just need to keep quiet and let me fuck you on live" You gulped. How could such an angelic face have these dirty things to do and say?

"What do you gain with this?" You managed to ask, trying hard not to let your cheeks get redder than they were.

"I gain..." She clicked her tongue. "I want it to be you" She bit her lip. "You seem perfect for what I want. You are taller and bigger than me, which is definitely...exciting"

Your eyes avoided hers again, your mind running wild for a lot of reasons.

"I want 15k" You licked your ice cream one more time, eyes locked on hers now. Her small smile opening wide and her eyes twinkled with excitement.

"Deal" Was her response.

🌸🌸-

You got in her car and she drove you to the hotel room she rented for the two of you. It was fancy and everything was carefully set, the camera, notebook, lighting, everything.

You heart was beating fast as you carefully put on a set of white lacy lingerie, your hair was down. You stared at the mirror, shame and excitement eating your brains.

She was wearing a red set, that color giving her a more sexy look to contrast with her angelic face. She fucked you with her eyes the moment you stepped out of the bathroom, a robe carefully put on over your taller frame. She reached her hand for you and sat you on the edge of the bed with her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her hand carefully on your thigh. Hot and so inviting. You hummed, nodding. "She fixed your hair a bit leaning over you, her breath hot on your cheek. "Can I kiss you?" She carefully asked and you nodded, squeezing your thighs in an anxious, horny way.

Your heart jumped on your chest when her lips touched yours. Smooth and soft at first, but you could feel on the way she pulled you into her how she wanted that, how she thought about it over and over. Her tongue immediately massaged yours when you parted lips a little and your breath hitched, melting into it. Her hand went up and down on your thigh, making you shiver and you grabbed the sheets under you as she took off the robe from you. When you finally parted ways you felt as if you were on cloud nine, whimpering in a more needy way than you intended because you knew that as long as the live kept going you wouldn't be feeling her tongue on yours because of the mask.

"We are about to start" She said lowly, her pupils blown. She placed the mask on your face, tying it up behind your head. It was a kistune mask, white with red flowers in it. It was picked carefully by Yeojin because it covered your whole face, leaving only your beautiful eyes to be seen.

You felt a little suffocated, but you felt the need to do that. No just for the money but honestly because Yeojin wanted to and you were kind of into the idea of being seen. Just kind of, of course.

"I told you guys I had something special for today" She gleefully said starting the live, pulling you to her lap as if you were just a doll.

Your heart was beating loudly, not really paying attention to what she was saying, just to her hands on your waist and how her small boobs were pressing on your back.

"I know, I have a pretty doll right?" She smiled to the camera grazing her index and middle finger on your covered nipple. You tried really hard not to squirm, but it was almost impossible.

The comments were wild, from asking her to take off your mask to them asking for her to manhandle you, to fuck your ass and do all sorts of unthinkable things to you.

"Oh you want me to fuck her in the ass?" She said, turning you around and laying you across her lap, your ass towards the camera. She massaged it, still talking to the viewers.

You felt yourself growing aroused with all that dirty talk and her hands roaming your ass, massaging it.

"Fuck, don't worry" She said reading the comments. "I get horny just by speaking to her..." She lightly slapped your ass. "This beautiful thing makes me crazy everyday" She sounded a bit out of breath. "Oh is it?" She sounded surprised, turning to your masked face. "They say your panties are getting wet" You wanted to respond but she specifically oriented you not to.

She slowly pulled your panties down and they were sticking to your wet cunt, the cold air hitting your exposed intimacy. You bit your lip, gripping the sheets again.

"Look at this..." She touched your slit to gather your wetness on the tip of her finger, creating a thread of that sticky fluid between your cunt and her hand to show on camera. "Her pussy looks pretty, yes. The prettiest..." She dipped one finger inside you, making you moan. "Oh, I think she likes that..."

She dipped it in again, but this time she pushed it further inside and you clenched, closing your eyes. She started pumping her fingers at a strong, rapid pace and almost losing control over her own actions. She was trying her best to put on a show for her viewers, but she underestimated how badly she wanted you.

She wanted that since she first saw you on the hallways with your cute shy smile and amazing body. Since then she knew she needed to have you.

She grabbed one of the vibrators she placed nearby where she wanted you, turning it on and grazing it from your back to your thighs and next to where you wanted it the most. You were shaking like a leaf on a windy day. She took off her fingers from your wet pussy, licking them and mumbling how delicious you tasted.

"Isn't she such a cute doll?" Her voice dripped with arousal, and you could feel by how her free hand grabbed your hip that she was hitting her breaking point. "I'll fuck her good, don't you worry" She said.

Next thing you knew the vibrator was on your clit.

"yeojinie..." You whispered, taking her off guard. She gulped and exhaled sharply, pulsing hard. No one else could really hear your voice or what you said, and honestly she didn't want them to listen that part. She wanted to keep that cute way you said her name engraved on her mind and her mind only.

Without a warning she pushed it inside your hole and you could feel how thick that thing was, hitting your walls repeatedly as she kept talking to the camera as if nothing was happening. You were staring to feel yourself getting wetter, the pink vibrator coated on that thick white liquid coming out of you.

Suddenly she stopped, leaving a warm kiss on your hip and lightly pushing you off her lap, pulling the vibrator out of you. You whined when she pulled you entirely onto the bed, carefully placing you on all fours with your pussy still displayed on camera. You heard the notifications go insane with the chat and donations, but yeojin wasn't even paying attention to that anymore.

The only thing she could see was you. And she wanted you.

Getting on her knees, she kissed the back of your thighs admiring how beautifully exposed you were for her. That feeling of ownership was growing alongside with her wish to make you feel good. She looked back at the camera and the laptop to make sure both of you were on the frame, smiling and then licking a long wet stripe from your clit to your slit. Your scream muffled by the mask made her grin and grab your thick thighs to push her face further onto your pulsing cunt.

"God, your taste is so addicting" She told you, moaning while taking one hand to her own pussy and lightly rubbing it over her red thong. She shook, knowing damn well her viewers were going insane with that little action of hers.

They liked to see how her petite self fucked you hard and good and honestly? She did it too. Yeojin was honestly used to the fact everyone loved to manhadle her given her smaller frame, but she wanted to experience that too. She thrived on the idea of making someone her doll to play with.

She let go of your swollen pussy with a pop, putting on a show to make them see how wet she got you.

"Stay like that, don't move" She told you, massaging your folds then getting up to the bedside table. You could see when she put on the leather harness, a big dildo attached to it. You gulped, moaning and swaying your hips unintentionally to the camera.

'Fuck, I'm so aroused' Was the only thought inside your brain as she approached you, positioning your body in a way they couldn't see your pussy anymore, only your arched back and the profile of your bobs.

She picked up the camera from her tripod to film herself stretching you, her mischievous tone dripping lust. Your hips were in the air and your face down and she felt herself go weak, her heart also beating fast as hell inside her chest.

"Look at this..." She said, tapping your slit with the tip of the strap and making you jolt. "I always dreamed of doing this... fuck" She slowly pressed the tip to your aching hole, entering you little by little as you squirmed. "My little fuck doll" She cheerfully said, zooming in on your stretched hole.

Her free hand held your hip tightly, roughly pulling you into her and knocking the air out of your lungs. You moaned, your left hand instinctively seeking hers and scratching her arm as she pounded into you.

"Yeojin, oh my god" You loudly said and she slapped your ass, pulling your hair next and lifting your masked face from the mattress.

"I didn't knew dolls could talk" She continued her hard pace, placing the camera on the mattress in an angle that your body could be seen. She held both your wrists behind your back as she kept slamming her big cock inside you and you rolled your eyes to scream into the mask.

You were sure you came, but the way she fucked you felt so fucking good that you didn't wanted to stop as the arousal was still there.

"Fuck, I need to kiss you" She said onto your ear and you shook your head negatively, still very conscious of the fact that you were the one that couldn't be recognized. "I'll stop the live then" The rhythm was slower now that she was speaking to you, only that wet sound was more audible than your voices.

"You'll lose m-money" You managed to say between sobs and she scoffed.

"I don't care" She pulled it off, picking up the camera. "I am sorry babies, we had a slight inconvenience now but soon we'll be back" She immediately turned it off on the laptop and went back to where she left you, turning you around and ripping that damn mask off.

That kiss was rough and needy as your tongues sloppily battled against each other, she placed you on your back on the edge of the bed and slammed the fake cock inside your pussy one more time, her breath was heavy and there was sweat dripping from her forehead to her chin but she looked absolutely beautiful.

Animalistic, but beautiful.

"You have no idea how many times I pictured your pussy stretched out for me like this" She growled, kissing you.

"Please please, keep doing that" You held her face with one hand and the other pulled onto the harness, kind of guiding her hips into yours. "y-yeojinie, don't stop please p-lease fuck" She kept that hard pace, her eyes locked on yours and her tongue deep inside your mouth.

"If you call me yeojinie one more time I'm going to fucking cum too" She said smiling against your lips as her eyes rolled, her clit extremely stimulated by the strap as well.

"Yeojinie... yes baby, argh" You did it on purpose, your pussy clenching hard against her dick as you felt your climax wash over you, your body beautifully arching off the bed as she kept fucking you. Her orgasm hit as well, her eyes closing. Your moans and hers mixed up in a beautiful harmony.

She kept bucking her hips into yours with her eyes closed, kissing your lips kind of in a haze, hypnotized by the way your body felt against hers. You and her slowly stopped the kiss, her wet body against yours in a delicious way.

"I think you turned the live off too soon" You said, feeling a bit guilty for not wanting to take off the mask.

"I don't care" She rested herself against you. "They've seen you enough" She kissed your neck. "But don't worry mask girl..." Her thumb playfully grazed against your nipple and you hissed. "If you are that worried about my viewers, we can do this a second time" She kissed you in the lips and you returned it.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

[reisolate]

100Kano autism headcanons

I initially wrote this post on Reddit a few months back, but I thought it we could fit better on Tumblr instead, so that's what I will do.

Introduction

We all know that Rentaro's girlfriends are all pretty eccentric in some manner, with all sorts of unique traits, so naturally (heh) some of them might exhibit characteristics associated with autism. So I thought I'd make one post discussing them. Full disclaimer, these are observations I make based on personal experience (I'm autistic and know a bunch of autistic people), and you may have differing opinions.

I'm going to go through the girlfriends that I think demonstrate autistic traits. I'll give my first impression, discuss traits that I've observed, and state whether I think they're autistic. So, let's begin!

Shizuka

Our cute book-loving cinnamon roll. Not sure about her without thinking about it, because her cuteness is so distracting.

Autistic traits

Special interest in books and literature, to the point she's memorized the locations and pages of particular phrases in her favourite books

Selective mutism, as she doesn't speak unless it's absolutely necessary or if she's singing karaoke

Is she autistic?

Maybe. While she does show some traits of autism, I find it hard to make a judgement. You could see her as autistic if you wanted to, but you could also see her as someone who only has social anxiety (though being able to memorize locations of certain phrases in books tilts things towards the former too).

Nano

The intelligent and efficient paragon of beauty. She seems pretty obvious because of everything about her.

Autistic traits

High level of intelligence

High degree of skill in various tasks

Memorization of various pieces of knowledge

Monotone speaking voice

Stimming (reciting the digits of pi whenever faced with uncertainty)

Focus on efficiency can be seen as rigidity

Social difficulties, partially due to her limited regard of social conventions and initially not seeing the purpose of friendship

Compared to an alien, which is a thing that happens with some autistic people

Is she autistic?

Definitely. Her traits definitely fit the classic image of being the straightforward autistic genius that we often see in media. I'd be more surprised if she wasn't.

Kusuri

Our age-shifting drug addict. A bit hard to tell at first glance because of how chaotic she is. Then again...

Autistic traits

Intense special interest in chemistry and making drugs

A prodigy in chemistry, to the point where she has been courted by at least 2 drug labs over the course of the story

Verbal tic of saying "nanoda" could count as a stim, potentially

Intense focus when developing drugs or doing anything related to them.

Infodumping about various drugs during the shopping trip chapter

Is she autistic?

Definitely. Her infodumping was what solidified it for me. In fact, I'd go farther and say she has ADHD too, given how she focuses on developing drugs so much she doesn't even go to the bathroom, as well as seeing how energetic she gets. Probably doesn't help that she has to switch between a child and teenager form too.

Meme

Our shy beauty. She just seems socially anxious, but...

Autistic traits

Shown to be very skilled at knitting, could be a special interest

Incredibly shy (this needs no explanation)

Is she autistic?

Maybe. She definitely has severe social anxiety, which I personally lean towards, but she also can be interpreted as autistic, particularly with her knitting skills, which is why I mention her. I will make no comment on her disappearing abilities as they are far beyond the bounds of neuroscience (or physical science, for that matter).

Chiyo

The order-obsessed younger cousin. She seems like she could be.

Autistic traits

An extremely strong desire for things to be orderly

Has that "rrrgh" grumble when she sees something out of order, which could be a stim

Has rigid moral principles

Melts down when she doesn't have her glasses

Is she autistic?

Likely. Given how much she focuses on things being orderly, as well as her personal sense of justice, it does seem like it. However, there's also the argument that her personality is partially like this due to losing her mother so young. However, given her other personal quirks, my judgement leads me to believe she's on the spectrum. OCD is also likely for her, though to what extent I'm not sure.

Momiji

Our masseuse and soft things enthusiast. I didn't think of her at first, honestly.

Autistic traits

Special interest in massaging and soft things

Able to assess the body muscles of a person on sight

Near-perpetual flat expression on her face, with her lips curled up

Has a more subdued style of talking, and the way she starts her phrases with a mumble makes it seem like it's a stim

Enjoys the sensation of soft things in general, women's bodies in particular, which is an attraction to certain textures

Has a certain disregard for normal social expectations as she regularly gropes others with no concept of boundaries, and doesn't realize how others feel about it

Is she autistic?

Definitely. Now that I think about it, that would explain a lot of Momiji's eccentricity, particularly her enjoyment of soft things and her disregard for personal boundaries. It just makes sense. I really wish she would get more development and story focus.

Suu

The foremost fan of numbers. The fan reaction when she was introduced speaks for itself.

Autistic traits

Has a highly intense special interest in numbers, to the point where her personality dramatically changes when they come up

Socially isolated because no one understands her love for numbers, and she finds it hard to communicate

Usually has a flat expression until numbers come up, at which point her face can be the most adorable thing ever

Is she autistic?

Obviously. Given that she was called "the autism GF" by many when she was introduced, it's quite a no-brainer. She really emphasizes the social struggles autistic people have when others can't comprehend their interests the way they do. In fact, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that if you disagree with this, you’re just plain wrong.

A concluding note on Rentaro

Doing this list and noting these things down just further made me appreciate how devoted, caring, and understanding of a character Rentaro really is. Finding a partner who gets you is hard enough, and it's even harder if you're autistic. The way Rentaro is in tune with the emotions of all his girlfriends, even those harder to understand, just goes to show what an absolutely overpowered character he is.

And that's all. I spent way too much time on this.

[bbyquokka]

Hiii 💞 hope you're having a good day/night/evening

Just wanted to say that I stumbled upon your fics and I loved them sm I finished reading them all 😭 I'm obsessed, I specially love the way you write about Jisung I think he's so close to how I always imagine him 🥺 so I was wondering if you could write something about him, where he and reader are a new couple and he's spending the night at her place for the first time and he's all cute and nervous 💖 thank you sm 💖

hiii! i hope you're having a good day/night/evening also! thank you for reading my fics! dont be afraid to give me feedback on them! thank you for also requesting and i hope this is what you expected. lemme know your thoughts and opinions – i welcome all feedback!

⌢ : ⤹ 💤 sleepover

→ PAIRING: Han Jisung x gn!reader

→ GENRE: fluff | suggestive.

→ SYNOPSIS: you and Jisung have a sleepover

→ WARNINGS: pet name (baby) | established relationship | some suggestive themes, nothing too extreme though

→ WORDS: 1.2k

→ have a request? send it to me here. read my rules to learn about my guidelines before submitting requests!

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

→ m.list — → ao3

"So, you're staying over at y/n's tonight? Minho asks your current boyfriend, Jisung, who is packing an overnight bag.

"Yeah, I am." 

"First time?"  Jisung nods slowly, packing some clean underwear and clothing before zipping up his bag. Minho disappears for a second before reappearing, slipping something in Jisung's pocket.

Jisung frowns, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the item Minho slipped in. He sighs softly and rolls his eyes as Minho belly chuckles, clearly amused by his little ‘gift’

“Seriously, lino?” Jisung sighs, hand outstretched as a condom is lay flat on the palm of his hand.

“Hey! You never know. Better to be safe than sorry.” Minho shrugs, speaking in a sing-song tone of voice.

“You’re a menace.” Jisung mutters before putting the condom back in his pocket. He doesn't have any plans on doing anything tonight with you, but as Minho said; better to be safe than sorry.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A soft knock on your door brings you out of your train of thoughts. You've been worried, anxious but also excited about Jisung sleeping over for the first time. You're a fresh couple so you’re still learning about each other. You both agreed to take things slow, deciding it was best for the relationship; neither of you wanted to rush things.

You open the door, smiling lovingly at Jisung. Dressed in standard jeans and t-shirt with a beanie on his head. His overnight bag over his shoulder.

"Sungie!" You grin. Jisung blushes at the nickname, looking at his feet in a shy manner.

"Hi baby." You grin, excitement and nerves bubbling in your stomach. You step to the side to allow him in, closing the door behind you. He takes his shoes and coat off, placing them to the side neatly before taking off his beanie. He ruffles his hair, trying to fix the static state his beanie hat has caused before giving up.

You take his hand gently in yours, your action catching Jisung off guard. You giggle at his flustered state, his nerves getting the better of him.

"My hand is sweaty!" He mumbles, trying to escape your grip.

"I don't mind. Plus, mine is too, so–" You shrug, grinning. Jisung softly chuckles, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it gently.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look?" You flush pink, butterflies exploding in your stomach and filling up every cell in your body.

"All the time, Sungie."

"Mhm. Then, I shall keep doing so." You shift your weight from one foot to the other, your heart doing tiny skips.

"Let me show you to my room." You whisper before dragging Jisung through your apartment. Jisung looks around, taking in every small detail of your apartment. From the house plants to the picture frames hanging on the walls; he makes a mental note at how the decoration is so you.

You open the door to your bedroom. You spent that extra hour to make sure your bedroom is clean as a whistle. Fresh sheets on the bed, your plushies neatly situated in their place. Fairy lights on the wall to give it that cosy vibe. The smell of flowers from your perfume you put on earlier is still hanging in the air around you both.

Jisung hums, looking around. It's cute and simple. It's you and that's what he loves about it.

"You can place your bag down on the bed if you want." Jisung snaps out off his thoughts, nodding before placing his bag down. He looks around again, noticing there isn't a spare mattress for him.

"Sorry to ask but, where will I be sleeping?" You flush a deep shade of red, your palms getting sweaty as you chew your bottom lip.

"Uhm. I thought– I thought we could sleep together." You paused, before your eyes widen, noticing how that sounded, "Not in that way! I mean, we could if you wanted to but, i mean like – We sleep! In the same bed!"

Your arms flay around as you stumble over your words, desperate to not make it sound sexual or that you're implying anything. Jisung laughs, cupping your cheeks in his hands gently.

"Hey, I understand." You breathe a sigh of relief, Jisung's lips pressing gently against yours.

"Sorry." You mumble against his lips.

"Don't be. You're cute." You hum, pulling away slowly.

"I'll go make some food or something." 

"Sure! I'll unpack then." 

After Jisung unpacked his bag, he made his way to the kitchen. You're humming a soft tune, cutting up some veggies. Jisung wraps his arms around you gently, kissing your shoulder blade.

"Can I help?" He asks, stroking your sides gently. You hum, handing him a knife and a cutting board. He takes it off you before getting to work.

Making some delicious food and eating it caused you both to become tired all of a sudden. You both agree on getting ready for the night, deciding on settling in bed with a classic movie; Howl's Moving Castle.

Jisung is in the bedroom, stripping himself of his clothing whilst you finish the last of your skincare routine. You walk out off the bathroom, making your way inside your bedroom as Jisung strips himself from his t-shirt and jeans.

You swallow, stopping in your tracks as your half naked boyfriend is standing in your bedroom. Jisung looks at you flustered, trying his best to cover himself up with his hands, feeling semi-naked.

The tips of his ears red, your gaze taking in every detail of his skin. You take in his body proportions. His broad shoulders, his tiny waist and toned skin. He works out occasionally but he takes care of his body by eating and drinking healthily and it shows.

"You're so–" You breathe out, unable to tear your eyes away from him. A sense of shyness explodes in Jisung's stomach, washing over him in waves. You pull his arms away from his body, taking in every detail of his firm chest and abs.

"Perfect." You finish your sentence off, causing Jisung to blush a deep red.

"Thank you." He whispers. You stroke his rosy red cheeks, giggling softly. You strip yourself of your clothing, changing into your nightwear as Jisung does the same.

He picks up his jeans to fold them and puts them to the side neatly, the condom that Minho gave him falling out of his pocket. Jisungs eyes widen as you pick it up, looking at him with a raised brow.

"I– It's not what you think!"

"No?" You question, slowly walking to him. He gulps.

"No! Minho, my roommate, gave it to me! I didn't plan anything, especially when it's our first night together! I'm not like that, please don't think I am."

You laugh at his flustered state, his words spewing out of his mouth at lightning speed. You wrap one arm around his neck pressing your body flush against his. You look at the condom that's held between your fingers before looking at Jisung in a suggestive manner.

"I mean, we could."

Jisung holds your waist gently, biting his bottom lip gently. He swallows, feeling heat rush down south at your implication.

"We could..?" He carefully questions. You hum, nodding.

"We could and I think, we should."

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @purple-belle | @laylasbunbunny | @dilucpegg3r | @chanssmiles | @meltheninja13

[wild-wombytch]

Ok, I'll pin this before shits go insane. The TL;DR is that I'll be temporarily uninstalling social medias so I have no idea whether I'll reply to about everything or when. All the following posts on this blog are queued. I'm probably not leaving radblr, just going on hiatus.

Putting the rest under the cut because I feel the best thing to do is being open-hearted and honest. I want to explain the reasoning nobody cares about behind it and I don't want to spam everyone's dash about this : (TW negativity, mental health, trauma dumping?, personal, pretty lengthy, blah)

I'm definitely overdramatic due to my own mental shits, but I'm getting SERIOUS anxiety from my reply to this post about poverty and middle class.

I don't regret it per se. I almost chose to ignore it because this is a painful topic and those who never experienced it wouldn't believe the amount of spits in the face you get from the middle-class as someone poor in the form of about daily microagressions and what trash you interiorize from it (you don't get much from billionaires because they don't even know we exist and they clearly don't frequent us, they fuck with us as a class but not on an individual level). As everything engaged with emotionally, it can quickly become a bomb. Yet, radblr has made (and still makes, we're all WIP after all) me someone less passive and more inclined to speak up. I'll never be grateful enough for that. So I chose to "woman-up" and make my voice heard. As insignificant as it seems. Because no one can talk for me better than myself.

Maybe it's absolutely nothing for a lot of people (and I guess it objectively IS nothing) but it is ENORMOUS for someone battling crippling anxiety (and I'm not choosing the word "crippling" lightly. My mental health literally gives me such tangible physical pains, gluing themselves to my already existing back issues/arthrodesis that I am physically disabled. I am heavily medicated. I am in a day hospital. I recently genuinely considered asking for a full-time internment in a mental hospital for maybe a month or two because I am becoming dangerous for myself and a burden). I used to be so passive, shy and anxious that I wouldn't voice my opinion at all in fear, that's how I got into the TRA movement so obediently. Exactly the example of Solanas about women completely conditioned out of their female power and inner worlds by their fathers, then becoming the emotional rags and handmaiden of every other men. I'm slowly unlearning that. Participating in something like that was part of the process. I don't know if I dose well. If I should dose and not be too "spicy" at all. Probably not. Radfems showed me the key to my shackles and I'm just starting to understand how it works. Yet, now I'm projecting all of my past experiences on this and fear I'm from one hand encouraged in a direction and going to get my neck broken for it from the other as a punishment. I shouldn't care, yet I still do at this point of my journey.

Again, I'm a mental mess. All is a bit blurry and unreasonable when we talk about anxiety/ptsd. I fear I'm going to get terfed out the terves and cancelled, do to speak. And it is oddly terrifying due to the mess I internalized and how highly and gratefully I look at radfems, with my tendency to idealize.

So when I was about 70% of my reply and I rechecked the whole thread to see it was Tepkunset out of all the Tumblr users I was "siding with"...fuck, did I stutter a nervous laugh. When I made this blog, I made a point to avoid interacting with hers, because I also used (and still do, to some degrees) highly look up to her. Like radfems, she is smart, brave and outspoken and I was all starry-eyed for her. She doesn't know of me and would probably block me on sight now (and probably will if that's not already done by seeing my reply), but she had genuinely been a model to me and got me in social justice and to think deeply about a lot of things, including myself as someone existing within bigger systems. I'm not making shits up when I say she changed the course of my life and I wouldn't be here in my journey if it wasn't for her. It was a process for me to actually embrace "heresy" and accept that I disagreed with her, my icon, about gender issues (which is a shame, because I think if cancel culture wasn't such a thing, she would genuinely be an amazing person to debate with). I've never been into celebs cult but that definitely was a close one. That's why I didn't interact with her blog, other than sometimes paying a visit and reblogging through other blogs as to not be blocked by her. Because I genuinely still respect her and want to hear about her thoughts even if I don't necessarily agree with them anymore, and want to see if she's okay and sometimes I rake my drawers to send money her way when life gets Bad™.

So that's some bullshit irony there that I feel torn in my "loyalties" among people I deeply admire yet disagree with and who themselves probably only intereacted with me anecdotally and know of me as much as they know of the flies in their kitchens. So essentially all that noise is in my head only yet what if I told you my back pains that almost miraculously vanished after seeing an osteopath yesterday just came back and now I can't lay on my back at all, no matter how many painkillers I take? Yes, I'm stressing out that bad over a Tumblr post no one cares about. If it was a telenovela it would be one of these scenes where a character is caught between a fight between their current crush and ex and has to pick a side and gets rightfully dumped by both.

So yeah, it also stirred a lot of things I haven't processed yet about my TRA days and even shittier moments of my life. I definitely wasn't ready for that.

I also genuinely internalized that I shine in society by not being very smart or useful or assertive like the women I admire so much. I'm not even sure about what I write, because I have no inner voice, my thoughts happen as I voice them, my brain is barren cotton, a perpetual state of dream. I don't know which of my memories are exact and which are dreams and past thoughts. I have amnesia of full discussions I had and consents I gave and I am completely stunned when people prove me I said something, because, in all good faith, I have not a shred of memory. Maybe a drop of a hazy memory you'd have in a dream. My past self and my current self both seem unreal, like other people. So I stick to ideas I have of my identity, shards of it, labels. I fiercely defend them because they are the only sense of self I perceive at all. Because I don't even feel human outside of thel. So I still have the same fear as during my TRA days that a breeze can make everything crumble. Most women here are very bright, it would take nothing to unmask the lack of ability I have to counter, to emotionally rein myself in, to construct a consistent data-based retort. That's why I was afraid of radfems in my TRA days already.

Anyway, that plus my irl social life being toxic currently makes me cope by going on social medias, which I know are awful for my mental health, yet I persist inflicting that on myself. There are several medical leaves at the day hospital so I'm ~aLoNe~ with my shits. Then you know the shit circle of life it is : not sleeping, not eating, being more anxious, sleeping less, being more anxious, eating less, reflecting too deeply on which way of sabotaging myself is the most reasonable...

So radical times call for radical measures. I'm deleting temporarily all of my apps instead of seeing notifications all the time and obsessively checking if everyone hates me yet or if nobody cares and pondering which is worse by looking at a wall for a whole day trying to not think about SH. That's stupid, and cowardly and pathetic and unfair towards people who reads me and puts thoughts in their replies and it's many other ugly things probably. But if I don't I'll implode. I just want to break the circle of feeling like shit and back pains that ruin my life so I can get back on my legs and maybe tackle one thing at a time. And I quite literally need to touch grass, even if I don't want to see anyone in my irl circles for now.

I don't know if any of this made sense. I'd probably also regret dumping all that tomorrow. Sedation is finally starting to work, so I guess that's why I m so talkative so I'll surf on it, post this, delete everything and pray I'll also forget about this until it randomly pops into my mind and gives me an existential crisis 20y from now. Should I even be given a right to vote and access to internet until I'm fixed? Are those rights part of the reconstruction process and of creating a sense of self?

Idk, I'm just tired. I wish you all well during this time. Radblr is wonderful despite occasional disagreements. I hope we can still be sisters after that and hope you won't think less of me. If you do, well, you're probably right, I also think less of myself every time I dare to exist and open the mouth. I am also the daughter of my father, after all, so I have plenty of reasons to think I deserve my own hatred and other people's.

I said I needed to be honest and open hearted so I've been. That's also why it's the over sharing website I guess? Here's a random gif to conclude this because I don't know what else to say and this is all fairly embarrassing:

[nar-nia]

Café date and coffee art

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

~~~

Sunghoon always looked forward to his morning coffee. It helped him wake up, gave him a few minutes to himself before training started, and despite popular opinion it actually tasted good for him. But since a few weeks ago there was another, new, reason. You.

You had started as a barista in the hybe café, and Sunghoon felt himself instantly drawn to you. Perhaps it was your friendly smile that you gave everyone you talked to, or how you instantly seemed to click, or maybe it was as simple as the latte art you always did for him. Well, not just for him - but he couldn't help but feel like you just put extra effort into the ones you made.

"Good morning!" You already greeted him with a wide grin, your finger hovering over the little computer where you saved your orders. "The same as usual?"

"Yes, please." Sunghoon, normally shy with new people, easily slipped into a grin too, his hand grabbing for his card to pay.

"So, tell me. How are you feeling today?"

"How are you?" Sunghoon looked at you, eyes open with curiosity, but you just shook your head.

"I asked first. So, tell me."

"Well," the boy started, leaning forward against the counter. "I didn't really get a lot of sleep tonight so I'm a bit tired. And we're learning a new choreo today which makes me a bit nervous."

He didn't really know why it was so easy to tell you those things. It just felt natural, especially since he figured out that you didn't ask those questions to have small talk, but to get an idea what new art to put on his coffee. Maybe that's what made it easier. But then again, Sunghoon couldn't help but think that you showed actual interest in the things he had to say, that you really listened and cared.

So he decided to be bold. He leaned forward again, looking up at you under his long lashes, and grinned. "So, tell me. How are you."

He noticed your eyes widening in surprise, the smile on your face widening slightly. "I'm good, actually. I watched a pretty interesting movie last night and I had a great breakfast this morning."

"What did you have?"

Was Sunghoon mistaken or was there a slight blush spreading on your face?

"I was trying a new recipe for chocolate croissants! And they turned out well if I can say so myself."

"You should share them with me." He was shocked by his own words, not really sure where they were coming from. Or how he got that boost of confidence.

"Oh." You looked like you thought the same, shortly freezing in your movements. "I can bring one for you if you want? Tomorrow?"

"I'd like that a lot." Now it was Sunghoons turn to blush, his confidence disappearing into thin air as his eyes focused on his hands. "Thank you."

If he had looked up he would have seen your smile growing bigger than before as you took in his figure, your stare lingering on his reddening cheeks. But he didn't, not until you signaled that his coffee was ready now.

He was ready to take it and leave, but suddenly he was filled with another spur of confidence and he turned back towards you. "So what did you make out of how I am? On my coffee?"

Your eyes lit up again as you bowed over the counter to look at his coffee, your finger pointing at the different things you made appear just seconds before. Sunghoon could have sworn it was magic.

"So you mentioned you didn't sleep well, right? So I made a little teddy bear. And it says 'fighting', so you can hopefully be a bit less anxious. Oh, and I gave the bear a tie because you wore one the other day!"

"That's so cute," Sunghoon mumbled, making sure to take in everything he heard and saw. "You always put so much effort into it."

"I'm trying my best." Your voice had gotten quiet, a blush creeping all over your face. "I'm glad you appreciate it."

"Do you have a lot of work?"

You looked at him, your hair whipping as you shook your head. "Not really, I think most groups are on tour right now? And the trainees don't seem to like coffee so much."

Sunghoon was hoping for that answer, but he still felt incredibly nervous when he heard it, his hands slightly starting to shake. "Uhm... would you like to have coffee with me then? Now?"

Your eyes widened slightly, and Sunghoon feared for a second that you would decline, but then he saw another smile spreading on your face. "I'll make myself a coffee then."

He nodded, his heart lifted with relief as he grabbed his coffee. "I'll wait."

"Oh no, you should sit down and drink already. I don't want it to get cold."

That made sense. Sunghoon nodded again, looking around the room to find an empty seat - which right now was every seat in the room. He settled on the one closest to your work area in case you had to go back there quickly, his eyes resting on your focused form as you put together another coffee for yourself. But he didn't expect you to turn around so quickly, catching him looking at you. His head dropped down, an unsuccessful attempt at hiding his previous actions as you walked up to him with a grin.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long."

"You didn't-" Sunghoon started, but then his glance fell onto your coffee. "You didn't make art for yourself?"

"Oh." You shrugged, also looking down onto your bland coffee. "I don't know, I never find inspiration to draw something for myself."

"Can I try it?"

"Your coffee will get cold."

Something about you told Sunghoon that you didn't really mind. That you would like it if you could show something to him. So he just simply shook his head, smiling at you. "I like my coffee cold too."

"Okay!" Both of you jumped up, Sunghoon excitedly following you to the coffee bar. "Is there anything you'd like to learn?"

"Something easy please," he laughed, scanning all the equipment you were surrounded with daily. He was already impressed.

"A heart maybe?" you blurted out, cheeks almost immediately tinted in a new shade of red. Sunghoon couldn't help but think how cute you looked with it, his own cheeks blushing too. "Just because- I mean-"

"A heart sounds good."

You sighed in relief, busying yourself with getting all the materials you needed and foaming up some milk. Sunghoon couldn't resist looking at you again, following your every movement in awe.

"Sunghoon?" He flinched, his head jerking up to look at your face. "What were you thinking about?"

"I'm just really impressed by all of this. You make it seem so easy."

"It's easier than it seems," you mumbled, cheeks darkening with every new word of him. "Once you know the drill you can do almost everything."

Sunghoon wasn't sure if he'd ever get the drill, because to be completely honest, he wasn't really focusing on what you were trying to teach him right now. He didn't know himself what was happening right now, but he was completely mesmerized by you. The way you kept pushing your hair behind your ear, suddenly wishing it was him that could do so. Mesmerized by the way your hands moved when you tried to show him how to perfect this little heart on your coffee, by the way your eyebrows scrunched up in concentration. The way the corner of your lips were curved upwards…

He slightly shook his head, trying to focus on what was happening right now. You were doing this effort because of him, the least he could do was paying attention. But how if there were constantly new small things he noticed on you that kept him captivated, kept his thoughts far away from coffee-

"Would you like to try it now?"

Sunghoon flinched, his thoughts catapulted back into reality when he noticed you looking at him. "Sure... I'll try!" More like he struggled. He managed to get a circle, yes, but it just wouldn't turn into a heart. He felt your shoulders shaking next to him, one look at you confirming that you were desperately trying to conceal your giggles. "I give up."

"Nooo," you managed to say in between laughing fits. "I'll teach you, come on."

"Please do." Sunghoon pouted, pushing the cup closer towards you.

You smiled, nudging his shoulder with yours before you went back to the coffee machine. "We need another coffee first. Will you pay for it?"

"Sure."

You turned around to look at him, eyes wide open. "What?"

How were you so cute? Sunghoon didn't know. But it felt more and more like his heart was bursting with every interaction. Why didn't he have the courage to talk this intensely with you before? He suddenly remembered that he still owed you an answer, shrugging as he looked at you. "I'm kinda rich, I think I can afford another coffee."

"Right." Your face was deeply red by now, and judging by how quickly you focused on the coffee again you seemed to feel embarrassed too. So Sunghoon decided to stay quiet for now, watching you as you did your work.

"Okay! Start just as you did earlier," you finally said after a while, handing him the little can with milk. Sunghoon followed your order, focusing on his task when he suddenly felt your hand on his. "I'll guide you."

You almost whispered, but Sunghoon held his breath too. His eyes were more on your hand than on the little heart that appeared in the coffee now.

"Just like this." You looked at him, taken aback to see him already looking at you. "Uhm- you did great."

Sunghoon wanted to kiss you. Your face was right in front of his, eyes looking right into his, and all he wanted right now was to kiss you. But he held himself back, not wanting to overwhelm you or bring you in an uncomfortable situation. Oh, but he wanted to kiss you so bad.

"Thank you," he whispered instead, slowly prying his eyes off you to look at his coffee. You were right, it was displaying a little heart. How cute. "So what does the heart stand for?"

You chuckled softly, your hand still placed over his. "See how it gets bigger? That's my heart after you- someone showed interest in my work."

"You have a very pretty heart," Sunghoon mumbled.

"Thank you."

If Sunghoon could have read your mind he would have heard it screaming, realizing you wanted to kiss him just as bad as he did right now. But he couldn't read minds. And so the air was filled with tension as four pairs of eyes looked at each other, not daring to look away. At least not until the coffee machine started whistling, smoke coming up from one of the pipes. You murmured a curse, rushing towards the machine to turn it off before you looked at Sunghoon again.

"I'm sorry… that was supposed to foam milk but since it didn't get any milk… yeah."

Sunghoon just nodded, his eyes wandering to the cup of coffee with the little heart on it. "Want to have that coffee with me now?"

Your frown was quickly replaced with a smile again as you both made your way back to the table. The air was filled with comfortable silence this time, you two busy with enjoying your drinks and each other's company.

"In my culture we always look at the remains of the coffee once we're done with it," you spoke up after a while. "We believe it tells you something about yourself."

"Oh really?" Sunghoon perked up. "We should try that with our coffees."

There was another smile spreading on your lips, one you tried to hide with taking another sip. "I'd love that."

"Me too." And it wasn't a lie, Sunghoon was really open to try it. He finished his coffee, eyes squinting to see anything inside it. But for him it was just a weirdly shaped circle. "What does yours say?"

"What do you think it looks like?" You pushed your cup towards him, waiting for his reaction while Sunghoon studied your cup.

"Hmm.. maybe a flower? Multiple flowers?"

Your eyes lit up, your face suddenly filled with excitement. "I thought so too! Perfect."

He couldn't suppress a laugh, looking at you while he rested his head on top of his hand. "So it means something good?"

You nodded, mimicking his actions to look at him. "A flower bouquet stands for good luck and success in your friendships and-" you stopped for a second- "love."

Sunghoons heart was speeding up again, almost close to bursting. Good luck in love? "That sounds really good."

Your face had turned all red again, your eyes staring right at your cup. "Thank you."

"Can you help me read mine?"

It took you a second to nod, eyes prying away from your own cup to look at Sunghoons. You could have taken the cup, but instead you were scooting closer, your shoulders and legs now touching. You seemed to hesitate for a second again, but as Sunghoon didn't show any intention of moving away your body was relaxing.

"It's a heart! That means good things are coming to you."

"Oh." Now it was Sunghoons turn to blush - and to gather all his courage. "Can that be interpreted for something in the past too?"

"That something good happened? Why, is there anything you're thinking about?"

Now was the time. Sunghoon took a deep breath before he moved towards you, looking in your eyes. Your legs were touching even more now. "Talking to you."

"Why's that?" The air was filled with tension again, you sounded like you held your breath when you asked that question.

"You're really nice," Sunghoon answered, still trying to gather all of his courage. "And I'd love to actually take you out for coffee if you'd let me."

Your eyes widened, just like the smile on your face. "Are you serious? I'd love that a lot."

"I am. I'd love to go to a date with you."

You nodded, and Sunghoons heart started beating faster. And he was so incredibly relieved that you seemed to feel the same way. So he gathered his courage one last time, taking one of your hands in his before he looked you in the eyes again.

"Can I kiss you?"

You nodded again, and so Sunghoon came closer, uniting your lips in a soft and gentle kiss. And Sunghoons heart was exploding.

~~~

happy birthday mash 🩷

permanent taglist: @maeum-your @sunoona @hoonsmarsbar @soobin-chois @sjyuniverse @taekbokki

[orifumioshi]

ASDFGJDLIABAIDUIRUWBKWISHDKVDAUZHDEHF HSDJFAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHNALSJEBSOSJSBFNDDJKWFJDOFHAK!!!!!!!!!!????!!!)($2+$9@+$(_2(#!!!!!!!!

*ehem* Sorry. I'm ok. Anyway... Digimon Survive uwu and as an extra: I, myself, was supposed to be born on Feb 29 but I went ahead of time and ruined my mom's telenovela finale by being born on Friday 23rd (ง ื▿ ื)ว

Ok so, I just came back home from watching and I'm still shaking.

02beginning SPOILERS AHEAD!

Because I went to the very first screening at 12 pm, we were only 6 in the room and one guy went cosplaying as Dukemon (was too shy to ask for a proper pic because he was with his girlfriend).

*ehem* well, onto the movie... THANK GOD HERE IN MEXICO FOR THE LATAM SPANISH DUB WE NEVER GOT THE EVOLUTION SONGS DUBBED BECAUSE LISTENING TARGET AND BEAT HIT IN THE CINEMA WAS SUCH A DELIGHT AND A BLESSING I COULDN'T STOP SHAKING and yes, I cried a bit.

The experience of being welcomed with Bolero with an overwhelming audio is something I'll never forget but onto the plot.

Because I thought I would have to wait years to watch it, I actually looked for spoilers but nothing very explicit tbh, I also saw people saying there was body horror but honestly, Ghost Game had it "worse" xD so I wasn't that bothered by what Ukkomon did; he never did it with malice anyway, of course it was kind of... wrong? Awful? But he did it because he genuinely wanted for Rui to be happy; no one told them they had to talk in order to have a healthy relationship.

I don't think I ever felt so close with Daisuke before despite being a Dai oshi; I felt so angry with how Rui's mom treated him, being a 4 years old baby... this was the second time I cried in the movie (the first being listening target and don't believing that I was there watching xD) and I swear I wanted to cross the screen and scream at her a couple of things. Rui was genuinely a good boy (still is), going to talk to his sick dad about their day, I thought that was very sweet.

At the end, the "time travel" didn't really felt like that to me but rather a very immersive memories.

The evolutions sequence were beyond amazing so, nothing to say really xD just thankful that XV-mon and Stingmon were actually "drawn" rather than staying as CG and even so, the CGs were very neat.

I was quite worried about the dub but it seems the dialogues were done properly, at least taking in consideration what I remembered from the PVs. Thankfully we got Hikari, Iori and Ken having their same VA from Adventure along with the Digis; Daisuke and Takeru had their same VA from Lastevo and Miyako got a whole new voice but they did decent, they actually got quite well how the 02 gang is.

And Daisuke, oh my boi being the man I trust to ruin it with the police xD "why didn't you stopped me?!", I love you uwu and how he was the only one to tell Rui right to his face what he had to do.

The battle sequence was nice as well, I was worried for a moment to be honest and loved that scene where Miyako "ships" Daisuke and Ken-chan uwu

I knew we had to go in a big fight but I genuinely felt bad that the only solution was to defeat Ukkomon. I actually stayed until the post credits scene and I was happy to see Rui smile ;w;

So, in my humble opinion, it's a very good movie to add to the Digi Lore, it's very enjoyable and was what I needed for 02.

I saw people say that the movie doesn't solve the losing partners issue presented in Lastevo but I think that's not the case: Ukkomon gave the chosen children the Digivice via Homeostasis; considering that this "superior being" is indeed Homeostasis, this giving the partnership a tangible item to tie Digimons with Humans but, is that all?

I personally think that Takeru being anxious over losing their partners was justified after all, Yamato lose Gabumon so I understand why he would hesitate to kill Ukkomon; at the end, the Digivice was just that, a tangible bond but, they don't really need it, do they? Just like how in Adventure, Taichi and co. didn't needed the crests to evolve because their hearts were the actual crests.

The Digivice ties Digimon and Humans, yes but even without it, the bond is there so how does this solves the partners loss? As long as they have a bond, they will come back I mean, Ukkomon is coming back and Rui's Digivice is no more plus even after losing their D3s, Daisuke and co. still had their partners, right? This just shows that Digimon Survive was right in not giving their protagonist digivices: KIZUNA. We don't need the bond to be tangible, right?

Also, I almost screamed when Wallace was on screen with Terriermon and Lopmon ;w; it was nice to see Chichos too xD How did your dubs named her anyway? Here in Mexico it was changed to "Guadalupe"; Chichos sounds like "chichis" and that's a way to say "boobs".

Anyway, because I want more cards, I'll go to watch it again on Sunday because it's the only day I have free ;w; hope they don't run out of them, I want all my kids OTL

[leviismybby]

Hey Klara 🫶

I hope you're alright ;)

For the ask game : palm tree (& also ivy, I'd like to know both lmao !)

Küss 🥰

Hey Val! ❤️

I'm alright, hope you are too.😊💓 Thank you for sending me an ask. ❤️

palm tree- do you have a fictional villain you shouldn't like but love regardless?

I have a few but the one that I can talk about for hours is the joker from the dark knight. Such an incredible performance by Heath Ledger, that it made the movie iconic. I love how his every move was calculated, he knew what he was doing and it always worked. I love how he had no justification for his actions because he didn't have a reason for them. In movies villains usually want power, money or to destroy the world, the joker just wants the attention of Batman for no other reason than to make him snap. I don't think that I'm alone in this opinion tho, almost everyone loves that version of the joker.

With that being said, in other versions, he is usually too much, so the dark knight one is probably the only one I like. In the killing joke, be it a comic or a movie, I hate him.

One honorable mention is Sukuna from jjk, I really shouldn't like him but I do however for him, I know that I'm not alone in this boat, lmao. 😂

ivy-what are your 'telles' for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you're happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

It depends on how well you know me, I usually try as much as I can to hide when I'm anxious or overthinking but my silence gives it away. If I become silent suddenly it's usually because I'm upset or anxious about something.

Happy, you notice by me being very talkative, I'm shy around new people or people who I haven't seen in a while so if I talk non-stop just know that I'm comfortable with you and in a good mood. I also smile a lot.

Tired, I become very cranky, not to the point where everything irritates me but I just want to go to bed and become annoyed by some things.

Annoyed, definitely by the tone of my voice, though, I rarely get annoyed by people. Just by my brother sometimes but that's normal if you have a sibling.

Küss😘

[hailtothemightystarwarrior]

The Star Warrior Nutcracker Ch. 10: The Charms Of A Vibrant Hue

“Now remember,” daroach whispered to the squeaker guarding the door to his chambers, “under no circumstances are you to disturb us. Well, unless, of course, if there’s an emergency like the castle’s on fire or something, but other than that, you are not to open this door! Understand?”

The guard saluted “Yes, you’re majesty”

“Good”

daroach took off his hat, licked his paw and slicked back his fur. he figured an hour was enough time for her to compose herself, and he was too anxious to wait any longer.

"Alright," he said, clapping his hands together, "here it goes"

he reached for the door handle and was about to unlock it when he paused

How should he go about this? ask her straight out or woo her a little first?

"Come on, this shouldn't be hard" he told himself "you already did this to the fairy queen"

but it had been different with the fairy queen. his intentions then been solely for power and hadn't held any affection for her. he didn't want adeleine to just say yes. strange as it was, he wanted her to like him at least. that was something he wasn't really good at.

then again, he had managed to charm the fairy queen into making him her advisor, but he didn't think crawling on the floor like a wounded animal would have the same effect, and a young lady like adeleine most likely wouldn't be interested in his economic proposals

"Come on, if you can take over a kingdom, you can talk to a girl"

He took a deep breath and opened the door to his bedroom.

Adeleine sat on the bed, she turned her head slightly to who had come in and stared at him in terror. this wasn't their first time alone, but it was their first time alone without the brooch protecting her.

For some reason, Daroach found himself speechless.

she waited for him to say something. if she can just smile for him, her smile could nearly blinding daroach with all the joy she seemed to bubble with most of the time. however all that came out of his mouth was "Hello there"

she just stared at him for one second before turning away again

he stepped forward "You comfortable?"

Adeleine gave no answer but moved back away

“Sweet Heavens, She’s Pretty…” He Thought, She Looks Too pretty, Even when she’s startled. He’d never seen such a beautiful figure. the way she glances at him,his heart just melted into a gooey mess inside his feet. but the girl was very cute, even at just a glance. He Knows She Is Too Adorable For Words.

Daroach shook out his thoughts courting was so much easier when he wasn't attracted to the girl

“I’m assuming you are, my dear” Daroach said, casually sitting on the far end of the bed. “You know,” he patted its surface and rubbed the silky sheets, “it’s my opinion that there is nothing softer in the world than feathers and downy fluff for such a good, cozy bed”

Again, Adeleine did not reply. She just turned her head further away and closed her eyes, preparing for the worst. Daroach just turned his head and twiddled his fingers as he thought of another approach. He’s Thinking about her just being too shy for his charms.

"You Hungry?"

again, she did not reply

then he thought of a comeback and pulled out a small Strawberry Shortcake in front of her

"I heard you like them. you know the ones spinni and elline gave you? I made them. so if you want more…

"No, I'm not hungry" Adeleine whimpered

daroach frowned "You thirsty?" he pulled out a wine glass and a bottle of fizzy pink liquid. he topped it off with a small red ball that dissolves into the drink. "I should imagine one would be thirsty after spending all this time in…"

“Why don’t you just get it over with?”

He tilted his head “get what over with?”

"You're here to torture me, aren't you?" she said in a cracked voice. "or are you here to kill me?"

Daroach was taken back “What? Kill you? Oh, no, no, no, no, no! That would be…” he paused as he slowly raised his paw to her hair, “such a waste…”

She snapped her head around before he could touch her “Then what are you going to do to me?”

He grinned as he lowered his paw “Yes, I was just getting to that…”

when she saw that that he was scooting closer, adeleine backed up more until she hit the pillows

"as you have probably guessed, my dear," Daroach began, "I have everything. thanks to this bell, I have ultimate power to get me whatever i want, whenever i want. i hold the land of dreams in the palm of my hand! Oh Yes, I have everything, Except…"

He trailed off as he gazed at her, imaging what would be like to run his fingers through her hair

"…Somebody to share it with" he cleared his throat. "which is why I've been searching for a queen"

"i Know" adeleine said "that's why you want to marry the fairy queen

"what? her?" he huffed. "oh, she's old news. no i have somebody else in mind"

“Really?” she rolled her eyes. “I feel sorry for that girl.”

“Oh I Think you’d like her. After all, what’s not to like? She’s the,” he scooted closer, “the sweetest” closer, “gentlest,” his hand reached out, “the most beautiful girl in all the whole world, maybe in even the whole universe”

He sighed as his paw made contact with the soft black silk. “And to think she’s the only girl ever to get the best of me… until now, that is”

Adeleine’s eyes widened when she felt his paw atop her head. She gasped in shock

“You don’t mean…?”

Daroach leaned forward with a wicked grin on his face "oh, Adeleine Are you really that blind?"

Her heart raced as she backed away from him "M-m-me?! B-b-but…I don't…what?"

"don't tell me you Didn't feel it," he chuckled as he crawled towards her "Didn't your heart stir when we stood before each other? Didn't it feel like an eternity when we held gaze? Didn't your skin tingle whenever we touched?"

Adeleine yelped as she fell off the bed. Daroach caught her and brought her to his face. he pinned her onto the bed.

"Didn't you ever think of the possibility of what we might become?" he asked. reaching his paw to her face.

she slapped his paw away and got up out of his grasp. Daroach only laughed

“There’s nowhere to run now, my sweet!” he said playfully. “It’s just the two of us and you don't have that brooch to protect you!”

Adeleine shrieked as he pursued her. After a few circles around the room, she put the bed between them

“Why me?!” she demanded “I…I’m not even that pretty!”

Daroach chuckled as he slithered around the bed, only for Adeleine to jump over to the other side

“Don’t sell yourself short, my dear! You’re the finest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on!”

“w-well ,” she stammered, “I…I’m not a princess!”

He huffed “As if that matters! I mean I wasn’t born royalty myself”

“But why me?! You can have any girl you want!”

“Exactly! And I want you!”

He leaped over the bed, only for her to dodge out of the way, which made him fall flat to the floor. as he got his head up, daroach groaned in annoyance.

“This is getting ridiculous”

Adeleine rushed to the door. And right when she is about to grab the door handle, daroach grabbed her by the wrist.

He wagged a finger at her in mild reproval.

“Tsk tsk tsk, what a naughty girl” he teased.

“Think carefully, child” daroach warned “I rather best resort into other ways and that would be an ugly way to win a pretty wife”

Still, the scolding was nothing but a wag of the finger

Daroach pulled out a key and locked the door tight so Adeleine can’t escape.

“I’m Sorry, daroach, if you Please, but I hope I didn’t Mean to be ungrateful, But…” adeleine begged in a timid voice, trying to respond to daroach

"Oh, now now, don't think this is a bad thing, darling. After all, once you marry me, you'll be Queen of the land of dreams"

she looked up at him in horror "You're not gonna put a spell on me, are you?"

he tapped his chin "Hmm, not a bad idea" he shook his head "No, no. I was thinking more along the lines of…"

"This!" daroach said as he took a red rose out of a vase above the mantel and put it between his teeth

adeleine gasped as he grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a dance. she panted as daroach jolting her around in a tango

"Ugh naw haw mhm," he said between his teeth

"Huh?" adeleine questioned

daroach spat out the rose "I said i'm not all bad”

she yelped as he dipped her

"I'm not a complete stranger to the ways of love"

her eyes widened at his puckered lips

"I, uh," she stuttered as she attempted to push away his face "I don't really"

"at least give me a chance,my love" he whispered

Adeleine shook her head. "Love? I don't think you know the meaning of the word"

"You're right," he grinned as he laid his paw on her waist. "I didn't" he brought her closer "Until I met you"

she narrowed her eyes "Do you think this is love?" she huffed "You're only interested in me because you think i'm pretty!"

"That's not true," he said as he moved behind her "You're not merely pretty, my sweet" he pulled her up and whispered into her ear "You're more beautiful than the orange sun of Orange Ocean setting into the night where the auroras from Rainbow Resort glows with their vibrant colors"

"Humph!" she grunted, crossing her arms and turning her face away from him

"Oh come now, darling, don't be so bitter. If you're my…"

"Wife? or plaything?"

Daroach was taken aback from this remark

"Of course not, you would be my idol! I’m a very rich man, My Dear. I would give you riches, fine clothing, sweet purfumes…"

“and dress me up like a doll?!" Adeleine spat "That's all I'd be to you! You'll treat me just as you are right now!"

she tried to let go of the gray squeaker's paw "You know nothing about real love! If You want me, I won't be your idol, but a pretty doll that you can play with!"

Daroach scowled "strange that you use that analogy! don't you have friends that you play with whenever you like?"

"That's different!" Adeleine declared "I actually cared about them! What about you? If I wasn't beautiful anymore, would you still want to hold me?"

he blinked "Of course I would"

"Exactly what I th…" she paused "what?"

Daroach whispered "I don't want you because you're beautiful, although the sight of you is breathtaking"

"b-b-but," she choked, but you…I…wha…?"

"Remember when we were in the cave? he asked softly "And I was on fire? Most People would've let me burn, but you…not only did you put out the fire, but you tended to my wounds. no one has ever dared to touch me or even… look at me. not in the way you did"

she said nothing, only stared in amazement at the sincerity in his eyes

“I have longed admired you, gazed with wonder at your sweet and lady virtue, marveled by your tender loveliness and charm.” daroach said, being swooned,looking down at his beauty. “I Am Asking You To Become My Wife”

"it's not just your face i'm in love with," he breathed, his eyelids sliding closed as he leaned forward. "It's your, gentle, colorful soul…"

adeleine's eyes widened as she snapped out of her trance. she slipped her hands out of his grasp and backed away

"No," she said "you're…you're just toying with me! you're just only doing this get back at metaknight”

daroach opened his eyes and shook his head "no, no, no. if this was all part of my revenge game with nut boy, i'd be pursuing the fairy queen, not you. besides, she didn't fall for my charms anyway"

"You Are Magic Too I Think."

"Oh, No… "

“Oh,You Are,My Dear. I Know. Magic Cannot Hide From Me. Magic Is My Friend.” Daroach Wraps His Arms Around Her from behind. “You Belong Here… with me.”

"so i'm just the next big thing?"

"oh no my darling. you're even better!"

daroach gently patted her head "now be a good little girl"

he then pulled her in again "Young Lady, May I have this dance?"

"un deux trois, un deux trois, Very good, you doing splendidly”

"Daroach, this is getting.." she started to say

she was interrupted as he started slowly twirling her

she scowled as his paws moved down to her waist

"what makes you think i'd be that lady?"

Daroach carefully bringing her up to his chest "You treat me differently…"

he smiled as he twirled her again. "Then why did you help me in the cave?"

her face flushed as he slowly dipped her "Well, I…i was, um…I…"

"Just admit that you felt something between us. remember those little moments where we were both struck speechless and nothing else seemed to matter?"

Once again, they were trapped in each other's embrace. daroach stared in awe as the blush rushed to her soft baby pink skin. her big brown eyes were wide with curiosity. it was as he could read her mind and knew that electricity was passing between them

Daroach uses his cane to make snowflakes fall gently in mid-air as a result of the sensations stirring within the squeak king. This did not go unnoticed by either of them, but all they could think of was what had occurred the night before

Daroach’s eyelids drooped as he leaned forward, intending to finish where they had left off.

“My dream,” he whispered

Adeleine blinked back into consciousness as soon as she heard these words

“WAIT, WHAT?!”

She pushed his paws away, not realizing he had been holding her in midair and thus dropped to the floor. Daroach looked at her in worry

“What’s wrong? What did i say?”

She immediately recovered and backed towards the wall

“Y-y-your…” she stammered, “dream?”

He blushed suddenly, something adeleine would’ve never expected the squeak king to do

“W-well, you see,” he said with a shy smile. “Last night, I dreamed of the two of us dancing in a snowy forest…”

“Were there fairies?” adeleine beseeched

He blinked “why…yes, how did you…?”

His answer was given when she turned away from him, but not before he caught a glimpse of the pinkness in her cheeks. Adeleine tried to hide the intense blush

“Wait,” he uttered. “You…you dreamed it too, didn’t you?”

Adeleine gulped “N-n-no”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“No! I did not dream of us dancing in a snowy forest at night!”

He crossed his arms “I never said it was at night”

Adeleine stiffened as she tried to come up with an excuse, but daroach was alreadly stalking towards her with a hopeful expression on his face

“You know what this means, don’t you? He said as he laid his paw on her shoulder.

She spun around and shouted, “No!”

“Yes,” he grinned, taking a step foward. “It’s our destiny”

“No,” adeleine uttered as she backed away. “This…this is a trick! You just planted these thoughts in my head!”

“I didn’t! I swear! look!”

He held up the bell around his cape, which was pulsing with light

“See?” he insisted “I was told that this bell would point me to my destiny and it glows whenever I’m around you! And your brooch, it was doing the same thing! Don’t you see, adeleine? This means we’re meant for each other!”

“No!” adeleine repeated as her back reached the wall “You…you…you’re evil! You…you feel nothing for me!”

He raised an eyebrow “funny. I don’t hear you denying you feeling something for me”

She looked off to the side. “I…I don’t!”

“Oh, but I think you do”

“What would you know about my feelings?!”

He sighed “I know that whenever, for a moment, we stopped fighting, you feel a strange, tingling sensation within you” he touched her chin and turned her face towards him. “That when we hold gaze you feel like time has stopped and we are the only two people in the world”

He leaned closer. “That you also feel curious as to what would happen if…if we weren’t adversaries, if the distance between us were to just disappear”

Adeleine inhaled sharply. Then turned her entire body away and pressed herself against the wall. Daraoch sighed sadly

“I suppose I’m not expecting you to love me right away, adeleine, but… do you think you could at least give me a chance?”

After many minutes of silence, adeleine finally got up the courage to look at him again.

There they were again: those sad, pleading eyes staring right into her soul, leaving Adeleine to try to make sense of everything…or, at least, her own version of “sense.”

He had been right about one thing. She was curious. Curious about him. What had made him like this? Had he really meant everything he had said?

A part of her told her not to trust him. After all, he had lied to her to get her brooch

But another part told her not to judge him harshly. His words had confirmed her theory that no one had ever cared for him enough to make him care for anybody else.

And The look in his eyes told her that he truly and honestly wanted her to do just that

Then something else occurred to her. This could be her ticket to saving her friends. If he really did care for her, perhaps she could convince him to stop his evil ways… even a little?

The beating in her chest then clouded her mind. She felt something for him. That she could not deny. Whether or not it was love, she wasn’t sure. But if… yes if she did… what would happen?

Daroach was anxiously awaiting her answer. She glanced at him and looked him boldly in the eyes.

“Y-you,” she stammered. “You take my hand”

Confused, but curious to see where this was going, he gently took her hand

“Put your paw around my waist”

He arched an eyebrow, but complied with her request. They found themselves back in the dipping position they were in before

“N-now,” she said with a blush, “K-k-kiss me”

He stiffened “What?”

“It’s okay,” she breathed, meeting his gaze again “I…I want you to”

Daroach wasn’t sure if it was his surprise at hearing these words from her mouth or his realization that his angel was lying willingly in his arms. Either way, he hesitated. He finally had the girl of his dreams and he was hesitating. His mind was such a muddle that for some reason, he couldn’t go through with it.

Eventually, adeleine lifted her hand to his cheek, closed her eyes and brought his face towards her.

Then he couldn’t keep it in anymore

He darted forward and closed the gap between them. Her lips tasted better than he had imagined, like a blend between honey and buttercream. He wrapped his arms around her and moaned happily as he relished in the heaven he was in.

It’s his first kiss and he had never felt happier

What made it even more incredible was that adeleine, much to her surprise, was enjoying every second of it

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Metaknight, tiff, ribbon, and kirby peered over the cliff and beheld the heavily guarded castle before them.

“There it is,” the nutcracker whispered “The dream palace”

“Also known as,” tiff growled, “Daroach’s fortress”

“So what’s the plan?” ribbon asked

Metaknight surveyed the palace “Okay. daroach most likely has the fairy queen imprisoned in one of the towers. We should get to her first”

“What about adeleine?” ribbon inquired

“The source of the fairy queen’s power comes from the great crystal in the center of the throne room. If we return her to the throne room, she will regain her strength and might restore order to the land. That way, she’ll have a chance against daroach”

“But how do we get in?” ribbon asked

“I remember an underground tunnel was used for emergencies. it ‘s supposed to lead to the cellar. We can sneak in and surprise them by…”

“What was that you said about surprise?” a familiar voice spoke behind them

They turned and gasped to see a pack of squeakers. Tiff growled at the source of the voice.

“Storo”

“And this time,” storo laughed, “you don’t have your little army to back you up. Get ‘em boys!”

Tiff smirked as she pulled out her whip ”didn’t you learn your lesson last time?”

The squeakers pounced on them and tiff’s pupils shrank when she realized their numbers tripled theirs. But that didn’t stop her from cracking her whip, however

Ribbon levitated her shoe but froze when kirby screamed. She turned to see kirby struggling in doc’s metal arm. This distraction was enough for three other squeakers to tackle ribbon to the ground

metaknight tried to fight them off with his sword, but they surrounded him and eventually pinned him down from behind. Tiff wrapped her whip around storo’s paw, who only smiled. He tugged the whip, pulling the rebel off balance. She didn’t have time to recover as a squeaker pulled her hands behind her back

“You see, old friend?” storo chuckled “without your little cappy followers, you’re nothing. But don’t worry. You’ll see them all again very, very soon”

[dojae-huh]

My opinion about the trainees:

Seems like we all thought that Jungmin's voice would be great in a rock song lol I wonder if the judges chose Jungmin over Minjae because his voice would be better in a recorded version (I think BoA was the one that said so?). I like both but if they don't learn to loose up on the stage and enjoy then there won't be any impact. When I was watching their performance I remember Ningning, she has stage presence but is kinda limited by aespa concept (AI without expressions), the difference is that Jungmin and Minjae are limiting themselves and even if someone is hearing their amazing voices, watching them tensing up is boring.

What I liked about Riku is that even if he was worrying about his voice condition, there was an effort to keep the performance going as planned. He tried to express with his body (I liked his hand gestures) to portray a more confident image, although I would prefer if he had more years of training to refine his rap... I really really really want this guy in NCT, his voice is pretty unique in SM.

Ryu's voice didn't appeal to me but at least he isn't boring to watch. I don't know why they got him in the show with his period of training tho? Well... There's nothing to loose if he tries, who knows maybe he has the potencial to improve fast.

Anderson and Haruta's performance was enjoyable for me. Anderson's open character overshadowed Haruta tho. Is he the only extrovert? I can't say anything about the japanese guys because... They are japanese (Shotaro is one of those weird japanese that are open with people lol), but the koreans also seem shy, hesitant, robotic. I understand they're anxious due to their first live performance, we'll see on the next episodes once they relax themselves but it would be funny if Anderson is the only one doing all the socializing in the future... I guess Anderson is gonna be like Shotaro with great dance skills and rapping good enough to fit in a song, I hope he shows improvement in that area because even with his 8 months period of training his korean is BASIC, (maybe his pronunciation will be the problem in the next missions?), Shotaro improved his korean faster.

I don't remember anything about Kassho and Heitetsu's performance. The only thing a thought is that Kassho's face has interesting features for an intense concept, he HAS to experiment more with that.

Sakuya and Ryo, hmmmmmmm... Honestly, I rather see them in other group, not NCT. Sakuya's deep voice in his rap really surprised me and if I have to choose someone to be in the group it would be him but still I don't know why I can't see them as future members.

-------------------------

I expected more from Yuushi and Sion. Do they have unique voices or something? I thought "Ohhhhh, they are dance geniuses, right? It has to be that. At least a great charisma" but their abilities are at the same level of other 5th gen boygroups and I couldn't see their unique characters expressed in the performance, they have been training for 3-4 years and it doesn't seem like it???? Maybe I'm being too harsh on them, they already have the pressure of expectations, it's just that I compare them with other trainees (Riize members) and wonder why they didn't exploit their full potential?

I don't like rock as I'm negatively sensitive to certain types of sounds, and electric guitar is one of them, however, I still listen to j-rock from time to time because I like Japanese tenors. I was actually surprised how many of the trainees, who are young, already had relatively deep voices. Is it a Japanese thing?

Here is the judges ranking for the 1st episode. The top picks are the same as ours. My original list was 1,2,3 and 5. I dropped off Sakuya because he is small, and I think there are high chances he will be left for the next upcoming goup.

On the second listen, not so late at night this time around, heh, I could hear that Jungmin was tense, but the tone is still nice. Minjae wants to be like Doyoung, so there is hope he'll continute improving his vocals after the debut. He is too normal for a neo...

Koreans are also shy at first. Remember Jae's stories about Doyoung, how timid and polite he was the first few weeks in SM. We haven't seen the trainees in the dorms, only before the judges, they naturally were very nervous.

NingNing's solo stage. She is improving. Hm... I like their concept. Even with the AI concept the girls are more attractive and engaging, with more personality, than the majority of 4th gen. The "be pretty like a doll" curse has gone nowhere, girl boss or not.

It is relatively easy for a Japanese to learn Korean. Hangul is learnt in a day, while Korean grammar is very similar to Japanese grammar. Both languages are difficult for English natives. The need to reverse the order of a sentence, politeness levels, etc. Doyoung has been learning English for many years, he still prefers to talk in Korean if there is an interpreter in the room. That being said, Shotaro did a good job learning Korean so quickly, he didn't slack.

Kassho reminds me Levy from Attack on Titan, small and intense looking. He did say to the younger trainees supportive words before their turn, so he isn't as closed off as he looked in the make up. I doubt he'll be chosen in the end, but I think he can be a unique element in a group, like Haechan. I expect him to sing well (maybe rap, but he didn't look like a rapper). As a rule, small in stature male idols are the best singers in their group.

5-6 years. I'm OK with them being timid, everyone is at the debut stage, but the dance level... Either SM really lacked great trainees that also had visuals, or they rely on Japanese liking to see their idols growing up. "gambare" and "isshoukeimei" are more important than the real result.

[fluffytsukino1009]

VICTON when you make a collab

Summary: VICTON members reaction to writing a song / making a choreography with their s/o. (REQUEST)

Warning: None?? Correct me if I'm wrong

A/N: Took me longer than expected but I didn't want to come to you with the same scenario 7 times lol

Also... Feel like I made Seungsik too bitchy for a moment but it just turn out like that... Sorry all my Seungsik biased fellas

Masterlist

Seungwoo

You visit him at the studio very often, so it feels like an eternity until the moment it finally cross your mind to write a song together. For a while you both felt a little bit shy, you were nervous of making a song that may not be good enough for his comeback, and he feelt you were good enough to write the song without him and didn't need of his part on it, but once you got the first verse, everything start going naturally. You didn't even noticed the time passing, both were so lost in the deep of your composing, he gasped after look at his phone and realised it was past 4:00 a.m. "Damn, you should be sleeping by now" No questions, he start picking up things, ready to take you home so you could rest a little before continue with your exhausting schedule later that day. Stopped you at the door and hold your hand, you almost feel ashamed under his glare full of love. "This was amazing. Thank you."

Seungsik

Talk about it for months before you finally accept to make a collab, he was so excited by it that you never thought he would get so bossy over you and his members once you were at the studio. After seeing him scolding Chan countless times for not getting the note right, you call him over. "What's wrong with you today?" He fight himself and groan stressed out. "I just want it all to be perfect... for you" You tild your head not sure to understand what he said. "But it's already going flawless, love. Don't be so hard on us we're..." He cut you off holding your face to force you focus on him. "This song, jagi, it's all for you. About you, about your light and strength... It can't go wrong." You smiled briefly and then laugh out loud "Stop stressing us out, then. We work better under a peaceful environment". He accepted to change his leader manners and turn the studio into another home for everyone, that's how you make him feel, so sure that's what he wants the song to express.

Chan

He was dealing with the coreograpy for days so naturally you offered yourself to help him put it through. It was all fun and games until you realised he was accepting every single one of your ideas "Impossible everything I sugested was a great addition" You joked and he smiled shy "Why not? You're very talented" Still had to fight him for a while before accepting there was a few things he would prefer to keep off. Left the discussion aside you continue working on it, called the guys to come over to see the advance and make some opinions, they were amused by how fast you got in sync and how your ideas matched each other so well. The morning after the coreography was finally set, he arrived your place bringing breakfast with him "Babe, I have no idea how to thank you enough for helping me with the coreography..." He stand before walking inside your house "but maybe some waffles is a good start."

Sejun

Honestly he was kind of nervous when he was called to make a collab with your band, of course, he was excited to work with you but keep thinking that it would be difficult to stay professional having you around. All your bandmates know about your relationship and obviously didn't lose the chance to make jokes about it, you didn't mind much, jokes was a regular thing when he visited the dorm, exactly the same you had to deal with at the VICTON dorm, but for him it was just one more reason to be anxious. Your company thought it would be good if the fans start getting used to the idea of both of you, so they insisted on giving you "an special moment", your voices mix together so well that seems like a completely obvious decision, you also made it to adjust a killing move in the choreography for that part of the song. When the MV was released you spot a grind of satisfaction when your part pop up, forget about the nerves, it was all worth it.

Hanse

It was him who insisted in having you as a dancer in their MV, knowing damn well people will notice just another random idol dancing along, but none of you mind because after all you usually help each other so much with choreographies, so why not?. He took the chance to show off his lover to everyone on set, even if Seungsik keep coming around asking him to be more discrete, and didn't lost track of the progress of getting you ready, he has this idea of how your hair and clothes must look like and the stylist tried to make it all as close possible to his demand. Maybe you just make it to be part of the MV for a few seconds, but for him it was the best seconds of all their MV, and keep playing it in repeat until you forced him to stop.

Byungchan

He was so satisfied to be part of the same drama as you that didn't care at all the fact your love interest was a different actor. At the beginning the actor was worry Byungchan could get jealous and become rude towards him, but you knew how much he trust you, so at least for you it was not surprise to have him hyping you up behind cameras even during your kiss scene. Everyday at the set was a whole adventure with him, because he was trying hard to make as much memories possible with you, he was there for you even if he wasn't part of the scene, so he spend most of the day in set, and you were a little bit worry he could be neglecting his duties as an idol, but don't worry, your man knows how to have everything under control.

Subin

For months you were working in a song together, never meant to make an official release of it because you consider it more like a couple project. You tried really hard not to make it cheesy because none of you are into that kind of things, but still wanted to be so romantic you could ever play it for each other. No idea how but when your boss found out about it asked for your permission to put it forward as a drama soundtrack, and you accept it thinking there was not a real reason to keep it hide. At the beginning you were happy to hear how much the public and drama cast and crew loved it, but after a while you start thinking thesong would be more meaningful for you if it would have stay unreleased, you casually mention it to Subin and he sighed in relief, he agreed with you, and were already craving to work again together, but this time to keep it all for yourselves.

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[emeralddaydream]

𝙸𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝙾𝚏?

Kit x GN!Reader

Rating: General

Word Count: 2848

Warnings: None, just lots of fluff✨

Requested by Anon: Mayhaps prompt 84 (“No, Mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”) with Kit Walker, but instead he's talking to Jude, Thomas, and Julia. Kit had been dating you for a while and he accidentally had let it slip that he loves you to his family (they all tease him about it constantly). You were planning on visiting later (so everyone could go to the park together or do some other adorable activity) and Kit just knows that someone is going to tell you, and he is trying desperately to avoid that

A/N: Okay, firstly, anon, thank you so much for your lovely message. I haven't been too kind to myself lately (workin' on it), so I really appreciate you being so understanding💜

I kind of went off the rails with this one, and it doesn't actually include the prompt sentence, and the prompt itself is a lil different, but same basic idea, I think... I really hope you like it!!

Also, Jude is healthy bc I refuse to make this angsty.

The title comes from 'I Think I Love You' by The Partridge Family, and on that note, I'm also dedicating this to one of my favorite humans. She's not really into AHS, but David Cassidy is her mans, so Sierra, this one's for you!! Thank you for always being a wonderful friend💜💕

“Jude, I need your help.”

In general, Kit Walker considers himself to be a pretty easy-going guy; usually, there isn't much that gets to him. But today’s different. There’s something that he’s simultaneously ecstatic about and dreading.

Today's the day you’ll be meeting his family for the first time.

“With?” Jude’s smirking amusedly where she sits across from him at the kitchen table sorting dish ware and arranging it carefully in the picnic basket in front of her. Kit glances at the clock on the wall and sighs; he's got just over an hour before he, Jude and the kids are supposed to meet you at the park, and he couldn’t be much more anxious about it if he tried... Not for nothing, though.

“I just wanna make sure today goes well.” He finishes wrapping the sandwich in his hand, placing it in the basket to join the plates.

“And you don’t think it will?” Jude raises an eyebrow; she may be a particularly perceptive woman, but it isn't very difficult to see that there's something Kit isn't saying.

His mind drifts for a moment to the other night, when he and Jude sat in the living room, chatting quietly after the kids had gone to sleep. She’d asked about you, and before Kit knew it, he was spilling his guts to her, finally speaking the words he’s been unable to say to you. It’d felt amazing to finally get them out... until he noticed Julia peaking around the door frame, brown eyes trained on he and Jude She scurried off, giggling quietly down the hall, and when he asked her about it the next day, it was clear to Kit that his daughter had heard the entire conversation. And it didn’t need to be said that she had told Thomas; the two of them have never kept anything from each other in their lives…

“I hope it does.” Kit replies after several moments of silence. He’s not at all concerned about whether or not you’ll get along with his family. There’s no doubt in his mind that Jude will be taken, and the kids are going to adore you. “I just need help makin’ sure they don’t say anything.” He glances toward the two small figures in the next room where they lie on the floor, markers in hand as they draw colorful pictures and fill out puzzles from the day-old newspaper Jude had provided to keep them occupied.

“About?” Jude's smirk grows into a playful grin. She’s having fun with this; a little too much, in Kit’s opinion. He scowls and she laughs quietly.

“About... y’know?”

“About how you love them?” Jude’s voice carries into the next room a bit too loudly for Kit’s liking, and his eyes go wide. He places a finger to his lips, eyes darting to the children to make sure they’re still distracted; so far, so good.

“Yes.”

“Well, when are you going to tell her? You’re not getting any younger, y’know.” Kit's unable to stop the smile that breaks across his face.

“Soon. I just… need to find the right moment.”

“There’s no such thing as the right moment, Walker," she chortles, rolling a bundle of silverware into a napkin. “But…I’ll do my best.” Kit smiles gratefully, but she shakes her head continuing. “But they’re kids. Kids'll say whatever they want to.” Knowing she's right, Kit groans, running a hand through his hair before feeling around in the pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes.

He's in for an interesting day.

——

The worn wood of the bench feels rough under your fingers as you tap against it anxiously. You take a quick peak to your right again, in search of the vehicle you’re waiting for. It’s a big day. In just- you glance down at your watch for the fifth time – two and a half minutes, your boyfriend is supposed to arrive with his family.

It terrifies you.

It’s not that you have any issues with kids. You love them. Becoming a parent has always been a part of the plan for you. However, you don’t have much experience with them and, this is the first time you’ve ever been with someone with children of their own. It’s... intimidating.

Kit, however, has been nothing but reassuring. A small smile crosses your face, thinking of the last thing he’d said to you when he'd called last night. Don’t worry, babe. They’re gonna love you.

God, you hope he’s right.

Kit’s told you so much about his kids over the last several months the two of you have been together, and you can tell by the warmth in his voice, by the way his eyes light up when he tells you something funny one of them did, that they are his world. As they should be. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

There's absolutely no doubt in your mind that you've fallen head over heels for this man... That’s what's so frightening; you don’t want to screw anything up. For anyone's sake.

You’re in the middle of reciting some of the things Kit had told you about the kids- ‘Julia’s really into football right now, a little chatterbox, and Thomas loves readin’, but he’s pretty shy’- when you hear tires making their way along the narrow dirt road. Turning your head again, your stomach flips when you see the familiar station wagon- much fuller with people than normal- pull into the small parking lot. You smile, raising your hand in a wave when Kit sees you, and swallow hard.

The driver’s door quickly opens, and Kit makes his way over, basket in hand. The passenger, Jude, stays behind to help the kids out of their seats.

“Hey, you.” Kit murmurs, a smile on his face as he leans down to press a tender kiss to your cheek.

“Hi.” With a shaky breath, you take your bottom lip between your teeth when he pulls back. With a sympathetic smile, Kit takes your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“They’re gonna love you,” he reminds, and you huff a laugh. Julia begins speaking excitedly as she hops out of the car; you can’t make out what she’s saying, but she sounds enthusiastic, so you’re taking that as a good sign.

“If you say so.” You grip his hand more tightly and he chuckles as the two of you make your way toward the sound of the animated voice.

Now or never.

“Y/N!” You jump at the sound, completely taken off guard- even more so when something barrels into you, wrapping around your waist. You look down to see the small girl- the one that you recognize from the many pictures Kit has shown you -beaming up at you. Kit laughs, scooping her up into his arms as Jude moves to stand in front of the three of you. Thomas hangs onto her hand, hiding behind her dress.

“Y/N, this is Jude, Thomas, and you’ve already met Julia.” He shakes his head, tickling his daughter’s ribs until she’s leaning into him, in a fit of giggles.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you all,” you say, hoping the smile on your face doesn’t come across as uneasy.

“We could say the same to you. This one,”- she gestures to Kit- “is talking about you constantly.” You smile widely at this, eyes moving to Kit to find his cheeks turning rosy.

“Oh, really?”

“Uh-huh!” Julia chimes in, Thomas slowly nodding his agreement.

“Oh, you.” You nudge Kit’s arm gently, and his eyes shift quickly back and forth between the children. Jude lets out a trill of laughter then, taking Julia’s hand in hers.

“Why don’t we find somewhere to sit? I’m sure we’re all getting hungry.” The kids agree enthusiastically, taking off in a sprint toward a nearby gazebo where several tables sit. “Hey, slow it down, you two!” Jude calls, following them.

You turn to Kit, who brings your hand to his lips, placing a kiss there; there’s something about his expression that you can’t quite place, but he seems happy, so you’re happy. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, letting your hands fall and dangle together as the two of you slowly make your way to the table where the children sit, awaiting their lunch. Julia laughs beckoning the two of you over, and there’s a shy little smile on Thomas’ face. Your nerves are slowly fading, and you let out a breathy sigh, smiling up at him.

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

--

The meal is fantastic, and by the time you’re wiping your mouth on your napkin and placing it down on the empty plate in front of you, you can hardly remember why you were so panicky about this meeting in the first place. The food is delicious, Jude accepting your compliments on her potato salad graciously. The two of to you discuss your job, her asking about the intricacies of what you do. Not in a prying way, though; she seems genuinely interested.

It’s not long before the kids take to you, either. Julia already has, it seems, as she insists on sitting across from you while you eat. She tells lots of stories; everything from the science project she and Kit have been working on for school, to the time that Jude took her and Thomas to the zoo.; you find out that hippos are her favorite animal. “Isn’t it so cute when they wiggle their ears??” she asks.

Thomas takes a bit more coaxing, but not much; not when you decide to ask him what his favorite book is. His eyes light up and he brings up several, speaking excitedly about a chapter from the one he's currently in the middle of.

“Daddy, can we play now?” Julia asks, setting her fork down; she bounces around like she’s ready to jump out of her seat, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Sure,” Kit chuckles, placing his empty glass of iced tea on the table. I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick, but go onnahead.” He stands, patting your shoulder. Shooting what he hopes is a discreet glance Jude's way, he moves toward the small bathroom stalls a few yards away.

Jude laughs, a soft smile on her face, watching as Julia moves to cling to your arm. “Alright, Thomas, it. looks like it’s you and me. What do you wanna do first?” She takes the small boy’s hand, and he leads them in the direction of the sandbox.

Julia glances around, and when she sees that everyone’s out of earshot, she leans into you, bringing a hand to her mouth to ask, “Y/N, can I tell you a secret?”

Her over-exaggerated whisper and enthusiasm make you giggle, and you nod. “Sure.”

She climbs into the seat beside you, leaning in closer to speak into your ear. “My daddy loves you.”

You’re quiet for several seconds, having absolutely no idea how to respond. You look down at her, eventually stuttering out, “O-oh… really? How do you know that?” You're half expecting a nonsensical answer, but when she opens her mouth, the young girl is serious.

“I heard him and Nana talking about it the a couple'a nights ago when I got out of bed for a drink of water.” She grins up at you. “…But I can just tell.”

“H-how can you tell?”

She shrugs. "He smiles when he talks about you." Her answer is so simple, so pure, and it holds so much meaning; you're sure there's a dopey grin growing on your face right now.

“Well, your dad’s pretty great. And I think you’re pretty great, Julia.” Her smile grows impossibly wider as she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you into a tight hug. You hold her tiny frame and are on cloud nine when you spot Kit closing the door to the restroom behind him; when he sees the two of you still sitting there, he makes his way over.

Kit chuckles to himself, overcome with joy when he walks out of the bathroom to see you holding Julia in an embrace, smiles on both of your faces. He walks slowly toward you, silently praying that his daughter hasn’t said anything she shouldn’t have. So much for Jude’s help… Should'a known better. He glances at his friend, sitting on the edge of the sandbox with his son. Jude looks up, smirking, and he rolls his eyes at her.

Nevertheless, he’s decided. It has to be now.

“What’re you two doin’ over here?” He places a warm hand on your arm as he stands behind you, appraising his daughter. “Jules, I thought you wanted to play? You’ve been sayin’ how excited you were for the jungle gym all week.” Julia’s small legs swing back and forth as she watches her father, with a shrug.

“I wanted to talk to Y/N first.”

“Well, we can keep talking while we play, then,” you decide, standing quickly, but Kit grabs your hand, stilling you.

“Actually, I wanna talk to you about somethin’ real quick.” His voice is low in your ear, and he watches his daughter tensely.

“Oh, o-okay.” Your eyes move to Julia and you smile. “Why don’t you go down the slide a few times, and I’ll be over there in a minute?”

“Okay!” The little girl jumps from her spot, sprinting toward concrete of the playground.

“Be careful!” Kit shouts after her. With a chuckle, he takes his previous seat and pats the one beside him. You smile happily, leaning your head on his shoulder when you move next to him.

“They’re really great, Kit. All of them.”

Kit smiles proudly, watching as Jude helps Thomas make some sort of sculpture in the sand. “They are,” he agrees with a nod. “Jude likes you. The kids really like you.”

“I’m so glad.” You sigh in relief, turning to meet his gaze. “I was so worried they’d all hate me.”

“How could they?” he asks, leaning in to place a sweet peck to your lips. You smile against his mouth, your own tingling as he pulls back. You can’t help but glimpse toward playground to see if the kids have noticed. They’re still preoccupied, but Jude’s noticed; she sends you a wink and your cheeks grow warm. Seeing the exchange, Kit scowls playfully, waving a hand at her. She laughs, turning back to the sandy masterpiece Thomas is working diligently on.

“So,” Kit begins... Deep breath. “There’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. “What’s up?” …Could it be?

“It’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while, actually. He’s looking at his hands as he says this, biting down on his bottom lip when his gaze finally meets yours. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone in… a long time. Not since...” He trails off, but you know he’s thinking of the kid’s mothers, so you nod in understanding. “Honestly it’s a little scary, but I think I- I mean, I know I-“ He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “Christ. I dunno why this is so hard, I just…” He sighs deeply.

“…Kit?”

“Yeah?”

“…I love you, too.”

“You… you love m- wait, what?” His eyes grow wide, and he groans after a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Julia told you?” You can't help but laugh quietly, nodding your confirmation. “I shoulda known. My little blabbermouth.” A wistful smile grows on his face, and the amount of adoration you feel for this man in this moment is staggering.

“So… it’s true, then?” you ask, taking one of his hands in both of yours.

He nods, smiling as he leans in to press his forehead to yours. “I love you, Y/N. I do.” His voice is hardly above a whisper, but it feels like a shout; a declaration. Your returning smile is bright, certainly one of the best Kit’s ever seen- one he’s sure he’ll remember for the rest of his life -and when you wrap your arms around his neck, his own widens further, the muscles in his face beginning to ache, but he couldn't care less.

“I love you, Kit Walker. So much.” You move in for a kiss of your own; it’s short, but full of more meaning than any you’ve ever had.

Pulling back, you pat his knee gently. You stand from your seat, offering a hand out to him. “C’mon. Earlier, I promised Julia I’d watch her on the monkey bars.” Kit laughs, taking your hand and slinging an arm around your waist once he’s standing. You make your way to where the girl is currently whizzing down the largest slide in the park, squealing with laughter. Glancing at the sandbox, you see Jude eyeing you, a knowing smirk on her face; you blush, but smile back.

Right here, right now, moving toward the laughter of Kit’s loving family, there isn’t a sliver of doubt in your mind that this is meant to be.

This is where you belong.

taglist: @therenlover, @tatestripedsweater, @kitwalker02, @ladyfogg, @mossybank, @undeadcortez, @sallyscigarettes, @xmaximoffic, @samsassinparvismagna, @liandav, @kitwalkerangel, @elaineygrace, @milly-louise @americxn (please feel free to fill out this form to be added/removed for future fics)

[lythea-creation]

Strong - Mariam x fem reader

summary: (f/n) brushes all attempts of Mariam and Dina to befriend her off. But there's a bigger reason behind her cold, apathetic behavior.

warnings: (past) bullying

word count: 1.229

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

----------

„Hey, (f/n). Do you want to join our group?“, Dina offered as she was sitting in front of me.

Miss Abeer had just announced our next group project and I dreaded it already.

My gaze wandered through the classroom. Everyone else had decided for a group. So I did not really have any choice but to join Dina and Mariam. Why them out of all people?

“I guess it can't be helped”, I agreed with a sigh.

“You know you could at least pretend to be happy about working with us”, Mariam considered while placing her chair next to my table.

I scoffed and concentrated on the task instead, ignoring the irritated looks of the two girls.

“How about each one of us works on two pages and then we explain it to each other”, Dina suggested.

“I take the first two pages”, I mumbled.

“Okay”, Dina agreed happily. How could anyone be in such a great mood all the time?

After explaining everything to each other we started to work on the poster.

I pushed it toward Mariam.

“I want to write”, Dina declared.

“No way in hell”, I shot back.

“Why not?”, she protested.

“Because you'll decorate it with drawings and use pink and glitter or whatever”, I claimed. “Mariam. It's your turn”, I decided.

“What if I don't want to”, said person alluded.

“Stop that shit”, I growled.

Mariam sighed and fulfilled the task anyway.

Unfortunately we did not manage to finish the poster during the lesson. So we would have to work on it in our leisure time. Group projects were definitely the worst. Now we were supposed to meet up without really having a choice.

“Do you have time today? We can meet up at my place”, Mariam assumed.

“You can finish it without me. My information is already on the poster anyway”, I pointed out.

“But it's a group project. It's not fair if we have to work more on it than you”, she considered.

“So what? Are you gonna sell me out if I don't show up at your house? I'm not exactly rejoiced to work with you and I bet you aren't either by now. So if you don't mind just fuck off”, I proclaimed.

“Whatever. Then do what you want. You're right. We won't sell you out”, Mariam concluded, her voice sharp and dripping with disgust.

After the group project Mariam and Dina did not try to approach me again. I did not know whether I should feel relieved or sad. But what I did know was that it was my fault for pushing them away. Had it been the right decision?

I observed them getting bullied by Layan and co. without interfering.

How could Mariam still stand up for herself? She was incredibly strong. Mariam and Dina were apparently able to be happy despite other people's opinions and actions. I wished I could do the same, but it was not that easy.

Breaks at the corner of school grounds, unanswered questions in class, alone all the time. I could not risk to draw any attention to me. Whenever someone approached me I scared them away.

When I saw that Mariam had been severely injured I was shocked.

Of course she had always been bullied by Layan and her friends, but it had usually been emotional and not physical bullying.

And when Layan lied at the assembly to settle the truth of what had happened to Mariam I could not retreat anymore. Layan had gone too far and I could not just take that silently.

“Miss Faten. Layan is lying”, I proclaimed drawing all the attention toward me.

The look of my mom was torn between anxious and proud. I could not blame her. I did not want to be in my position either, but I could not let Layan manipulate everybody and lead the amazingly strong Mariam into misery.

“Mariam never touched Layan. Actually Layan's the one tormenting Mariam and manipulating and scaring the other students all the time. Mariam is the victim. Don't let Layan fool you”, I declared.

My appearance did not falter. I was wearing a poker face and on the outside no one could tell how much Layan's stares actually scared me, or the oppressing silence that had captured the room.

The discussion about the truth continued for a short while and in the end Miss Faten decided to give both girls an equal amount of suspension. Obviously Layan's dad was even more powerful than I had thought. Great …

“Hey (f/n)! Wait!” Mariam's voice made me stop in my track as my mom and I had been on the way to our car.

Our moms were considerate enough to give us some privacy.

“What?” My voice was apathetic.

It was either all or no emotions. I definitely preferred the latter.

“Thanks for standing up for me. Honestly I didn't expect that”, she stated with a smile.

“I just told the truth. It's no big deal”, I brushed it off.

“Yes, it is. Obviously I judged you too quickly. Maybe you wanna hang out once after all?”, she suggested.

When our eyes met my mask fell. I could not keep up my act anymore and the tears started flowing.

“Oh sorry! Did I say something wrong?”, Mariam worried.

I immediately wiped the tears away with my sleeve and shook my head. “Just forget it”, I mumbled.

“Sorry, but what's up with you? That you supported me is a big deal. Then you start crying and now you pretend to be the mean one again?!”

“It's nothing personal, Mariam”, I attempted to reassure her, but my plan backfired.

“What is it then if it's not personal?”, she questioned.

“I just know how it feels, okay?” I averted my eyes.

“What do you mean?”, she continued her little interrogation.

A sigh of frustration left my lips. “I've been bullied myself. That's why I switched schools and why I tried to stay alone and don't arise any unwanted attention”, I explained. “I especially can't stand you. Seeing you defending yourself against Layan reminds me how weak I actually am”, I ranted.

“I don't think that you're weak”, Mariam proposed. “Layan's going to target you now. You know that, don't you?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever.”

“But you could have two amazing allies if you want to”, Mariam offered grinning slightly.

Doubts started filling me. Would this really work out? I did want to spend time with Mariam. She truly was stunning in many ways, but was it alright to grand myself that?

“I don't know what happened at your old school. But at least you wouldn't have to fight on your own anymore”, Mariam suggested.

“Fine then”, I agreed reluctantly.

She took a piece of paper and a pen out of her backpack, wrote something onto it and handed it over. “Just call or text me”, she assumed.

She sent another smile my way while approaching her mom who was talking to mine. “And thanks again”, she called out before leaving together with her mom.

I could not help the smile that was adorning my face. Maybe school was not that bad after all.

[ransprang]

Heeey can I get a Naruto and/or HXH pairing please? I don't care if it's nsfw or sfw. I'm a 4'9 female and bi. I don't have a preference for HXH, but for naruto i'd prefer men fjskskfj

I'm an ENFJ or an ESFJ, and I'm very, very extroverted! I call myself a compulsive extrovert because I'll talk to anyone who I think I have a chance of befriending, depending on my social battery. I like to make people laugh and I have a very strange sense of humor. Sometimes I don't realize how loud my voice is, and I'm very, very opinionated, and I don't shy away from confrontation if it's needed. I'm always open to listen to people vent about their issues, though I don't have the best memory so sometimes I'll forget what people have and haven't told me. I try and be as kind and caring as I can to those around me!! Despite my aggressiveness I'm surprisingly a pisces. I'm really emotional and anxious despite all of the impulsive things I do. If you treat me well I'll cling to you as hard as you'll let me !!

Writing is a big hobby of mine, along with drawing though I'm not very good. I write poetry mostly, and create characters and become too focused on fleshing them out to actually write a plot for them. I'm not athletic in any way, shape or form. I love the sciences, cats, video games, and napping! I'm constantly exhausted. I also try and do theatre sometimes!

My type is someone who understands my humor and isn't afraid to banter with me. Setting boundaries would be a good thing too for a romantic relationship, since sometimes I do tend to overstep. Kindness and loyalty are absolutely key for any romantic relationship w me !! My love languages are quality time, affirming words and physical affection.

I hate passive aggressiveness. I can get along with shy people, just as long as they aren't icing me out or treating me differently than how they treat others. I also have a mild fear of big dogs.

hey thanks for the request <3 hope you like your match ups

Your HxH match up is... Stick Dinner!!

- We pray that your wacky sense of humor and his constant stream of bad puns can synergize and support each other.

- He's a fun guy and a... fungi cuz his head kinda looks like a mushroom cloud

- Stick dinner's a friendly, laid back fella and definitely smokes pot. You guys would probably become fast friends first before getting into a relationship~ 

- He wouldn't be passive aggressive or any kind of aggressive really so you would have to be the one to talk with the food service people if they get your order wrong.

- Just like the rest of Kite's team he's kind, loyal and full of love! Just make sure the tall boi doesn’t squish you accidentally. 

Your Naruto match up is....Sai!!!!!

- Since Sai doesn't understand social norms he has a wild sense of humor too. You guys would banter well together as long as you don't beat him up for saying something offensive

- Underneath Sai's cold exterior there is a genuine desire for human connection. He would really appreciate your extroverted nature and ability to make friends and try to learn from you.

- You like to draw? Well so does he. He even wrote that little book about his brother leaving. You both can hone your art and story crafting skills together

- Sai has proven his loyalty several times since leaving Root and even if he isn’t great in the kindness department he’s a good person deep down.

- The poor boy still has a lot to learn on being a functional member of society and not being a mindless murderer. So he might not be able to handle your emotional or anxious side but he would do his best to help!

Your small dog,

admin san

[whaleofatjme1920]

I'll take a SO matchup!! I'm a 5'5" and average body type with a little curve. I have a grown out split dye that is about to be half purple, half black, shoulder length, and curly, and green-gold eyes. I'm greyromantic demisexual with a preference for males. I collect balisong knives and you can normally catch me flipping out, especially when I'm anxious. I'm very hard to insult and don't really care about people's opinion of me, unless I'm close to them. Speaking of people I'm close to, I'm viciously protective of them. Like, hurt my found family in any way and I'll probably threaten that I'll have your heart in a jar.

I like animals, specifically dogs, cats, raccoons, big cats, wolves, and lizards.

I really appreciate being out in nature and my camera reel is full of pictures that I take during walks in the woods.

I'm trying to learn how to draw, and while I'm not great, I'm not bad either. Unfortunately my best drawing times are when I'm having a bout of insomnia, and that's backed off for the time being.

I'm a huge audiophile, and listen to everything from bops from the 50's to Metallica to The Talking Heads to MCR, and everything in between. I can sing, but I'm really shy about it.

I was going to ask for a rival matchup but I would just stomp Alex Kraille's ass into the ground. I hate him so much 😒

Your matchup is... Hoodie/Brian Thomas!

In general:

I chose Brian for you because it's just the super strong vibe that I got here. Besides, mentioning Alex Kralie and wanting to throw hands with him seems like a very Brian thing to say.

Things he likes about you:

Physically speaking, your hair is just so beautiful to him. He's always going to want to touch it. He finds the purple so pretty and the split dye so aesthetically pleasing. Your eyes are actual gems to him. He likes your knife collection and will show you his knife collection as well - but admittedly, Brian is much more focused on guns. He finds the animals you're into as really cool as well. You also mentioned liking being out in nature and really liking photography and it's just - just straight Brian behavior lmfao. He likes that you're getting into drawing. Your music choice also vibes pretty well with him as well, so that's really cute. AND he loves your voice!! Even if you're shy about it

General cute things:

I feel like Brian would take up sketching with you, drawing in general. It'd be super cute, source dude trust me. He will buy you butterfly knives once and a while,,,,, He appreciates that you like being out in nature because that's exactly what he likes too!! Warm summer days, just taking pictures of things, all the fun little memories the two of you would have? I think that's super adorable oh my goodness. I also think he would play with your hair too, braid it and brush it and remark how pretty the colors are. The two of you listening and trading is an absolute must. Like that's it that's the rule. Also he will tell you animal facts!! Brian plays the guitar and sometimes sings himself, so the two of you just out on some grassy hill, watching the sun go down as fluffy pink clouds pass over head just singing and having a cute time? MY HEART

You two as a couple:

So, first thing is first, Brian is going to help you manage your anxiety. He understands what that feels like and I guarantee you he knows how to handle it. He's also really good friend and boyfriend shaped so like, let him take care of you. If he has any problems, he's just going to communicate them with you, he will never insult you. He likes that you're super protective of people you care about but he absolutely has you beat Brian is a protector through and through. He knows about your insomnia and your drawing phases and honestly he's going to try to get you to rest. Wants your body to be safe, happy and healthy. Just honestly let this man take care of you the way it seems you take care of others.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, gotta agree with Brian, your hair sounds really cool. I used to have purple hair a few years ago and honestly it was my favorite color out of the rainbow I used to put in. I honestly laughed at the ending note with Alex so like, thank you so much for that. I feel like you and Brian are two peas in a pod, just getting along from the get go. The nature dates, a wall of pictures, laughter, all that cute stuff. It just works. That's it. As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!