#I'm saying that making fun of men and boys as a culture and saying they should all die IS FUCKING WEIRD

[boyapologist]

no but like can you fucking IMAGINE how much shit people would get if they turned "all women should die" into pop culture slang. do you realize how bizarre that sounds when you invert the genders. that's what I was talking about on that post. you guys just read the word misandry and foam at the mouth because you need to score your online moral superiority points by stating how much you believe it's not real

[logansdoll]

Heyyy. Ok really cheesy but I’d like to request a Logan x reader friends to lovers where it’s like an accidental confession. Maybe someone makes fun of the reader and Logan without thinking about it just starts yelling and defending why the reader is great and everything he loves about her? Ik it’s a little OOC but maybe he gets so mad (as Wolverine does) that he gets all mushy without realizing lol. Thanks ❤️❤️

lotus

while on library duty, Logan overhears two girls talking shit about you... and corrects it quickly.

CW: sorry i went in a little different direction, suggestive, profanity, takes place during the timeline of the og X-Men, these girls are bitches, etc.

"I just don't get what's the big deal about her," Maya scoffed, resting her cheek in her palm as she thoughtlessly flipped through her biology textbook.

Talia nodded, glancing up from her notes with an excitement that screamed nothing to do.

"No, seriously," she agreed. "Like we get it... you can grow shit. Big deal."

That piqued Logan's interest.

With Jean and Scott off on a date, the professor away, and you and Ororo teaching a joint class, he was slapped with library duty—watching the kids during their scheduled study period.

Now, originally, he planned on simply plopping himself down in a corner and puffing his cigar, hoping to fall asleep and just ride out his sentence.

And he was halfway there, too.

But just as he was about to catch some Zs, his hearing picked up on a conversation between two older girls who seemed to be trash talking his girlfriend.

"Word," Maya turned the next page, a grimace settling on her face when she noticed the image of a flower.

One you were very vocal about liking.

"She won't shut up about these stupid lotus flowers either... Hey! Did you guys know that the lotus is considered sacred in many Eastern cultures? And it often symbolizes purity, beauty, and rebirth!"

Talia let out an obnoxious snicker, the impression not nearly as funny as what she was making it to be.

But maybe she just hated you that much...

"You sound just like her," she commended, very much amused. "Only she's always smiling. Like I've never seen her frown before... it's almost creepy."

"Seriously creepy. But Peter can't get enough of it... you know he has a crush on her, right?"

"Seriously?!"

Logan let out a quiet chuckle, tickled by the news.

He'd caught the boy staring at you during a few Danger Room sessions, but didn't think much of it, assuming he'd just caught him while he happened to be looking in your direction.

Oh, how wrong he was...

He couldn't wait to tell you later tonight.

"Mhmm. Half the boys at school nearly fall over themselves to make sure they're not late to her class... It's almost funny."

"Funny, my ass. Why'd it have to be Peter?" Talia huffed, tossing her pencil at the textbook in frustration. "She's not even that pretty. I've had dogs that look better than her."

Maya attempted to muffle a snicker, but Logan heard it loud and clear, his brows furrowing at the horrible comment.

"I'm serious. She puts up this whole nice and innocent act, but I bet she's a raging bitch behind closed doors."

That was it.

All the stuff before was just normal, teenage jealousy; something he'd—albeit reluctantly—let slide.

But calling you out of your name?

Insulting your character?

Comparing you to a dog?

A line had to be drawn.

"Tali, you can't say that," Maya chuckled, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.

"Like I care," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'd tell it to her face if I ever got the chance. Just walk right up to her and say—"

"Say what?"

The girls nearly jumped out their skin, whipping around, only to be met by Logan's arched brow, the man leaning up against a bookshelf as he puffed on his cigar.

They were at a loss for words, unable to say anything under his imposing presence.

"Don't get shy now," he goaded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Go on. Tell me what you're gonna say to Dr. (l/n)."

The two were practically frozen, frantically glancing at each other for assistance, Logan's eyes flicking between the two expectantly.

"Nothing?" he hummed. "That's funny... 'cause you both seemed to have plenty of shit to say earlier."

Both their faces fell almost instantly, the color practically draining from Talia.

"You heard that?" Maya squeaked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Every word," Logan nodded. "And what I managed to gather from it was that you both just can't stand her because she's kind, passionate, pretty, and beloved."

He listed each trait off on his fingers, glancing at the two for confirmation.

"How's that? Am I in the ballpark?"

They remained silent, hanging their heads in embarrassment as Logan's confrontation had garnered the attention of the whole library.

"Well, then, how's this..." he pulled the cigar out his mouth. "I'll let you both off this time with a warning... but if I catch either of you trash talkin' anybody again, teacher or student, you're grounded."

"'Til when?" Talia asked, nervously.

"'Til I tell you you're not."

The end of day bell punctuated his statement, a flourish of shutting books and closing pencil cases muffling the girls' sighs of relief.

"Now get outta here."

He had never seen two students pack up so fast.

They were gone in T-minus ten, and once the library was cleared out, Logan allowed himself to sit down, letting out his own sigh.

He could've tore into them infinitely worse—and he honestly wanted to for that dog comment—but he figured that was the right, and legal, amount for a teacher.

But even still...

'I dunno how a girl who can only float two inches off the ground is talkin' about (n/n) havin' a shitty power...'

[juniperpyre]

lily evans potter: womanhood, motherhood & morality

lily as the dream girl in canon and fan spaces

i want to talk about this while there isn't a current upsurge in the discourse

Lily Evans Potter is introduced to us as Lily Potter, the dead mother of Harry Potter. Lily and James potter, dead, leaving their poor, miraculous son to live with the dull, horrible Durselys. We only ever see her through, with the exception of her sister, the memory of men.

I've said before that I believe James and Lily are the ideal masculine and ideal feminine, both to Harry and in a metatextual way. parents are our introduction into gender roles, the "correct" way to be a man and woman. since Lily is dead she cannot disappoint Harry. she can be imagined as the perfect woman, which is, of course, a wife and mother. the dream girl!

Lily's death makes her a silent, ever-loving, beautiful young mother, for both Harry and the reader. James is slightly deconstructed in SWM, but Lily is not. She is a fierce protector, brave, clever, and only emotional (angry) once James, her future husband, provokes her enough.

in the text Lily is not truly presented as flawed in a meaningful way. the moral choices she makes: to build a relationship with Severus, to defend Severus, to break their relationship when he refuses to reject bigotry, to join the Order, to die for her child, are all the correct moral choices. these are the choices the narrative is telling us to respect.

women have, for the past 200 years or so, been conceived of as the moral center of the family.* Lily Evans Potter is the moral center of the series. her choice to die is mirrored by the main character, Harry, and sparks the beginning of victory. Harry's sacrifice is enabled by another mother, Narcissa, making the correct moral choice because the power of her maternal love urges her to this choice. finally, Voldemort's most powerful follower, Bellatrix, is killed by a housewife and mother, Molly, in a maternal rage at the idea of her daughter being murdered.

Lily's sacrifice and the emotions behind it are mirrored multiple times in the final battle because it and she are the moral center of the series.

that Harry is frequently told he has his mother's eyes, and that Dumbledore points out how his essential nature mirrors his mother's, further highlights Lily's character and her choices as implicitly good.

women, especially mothers, as our moral authorities, is an unconscious cultural belief we can see play out in the fandom and subfandoms that Lily is discussed in. we can all recall the characterization of Lily as the goody-two shoes that James has to change for, the characterization of Lily as "not like other girls", the BAMF characterization, the current near mommy dom to James characterization.

the characterization of Lily changes with our view of the best kind of woman. but she is, always, demonstrating a most "correct" way to be. maybe it's 2007 and she's telling James off—not fun, but right. or it's 2012 and she's not preoccupied with boys like her classmates. or it's 2019 and she always knows the right thing to say to Remus when he's down on himself. or it's 2025 and James is trailing after her like a puppy while she contemplates what size strap to use on him after she beats up a bigot.

We don't see a lot of moderate views on Lily. Above, I've discussed how Lily lovers tend to portray her. Lily haters, a smaller group from what I can tell, do not utilize these common fanon characterizations. They disparage her as an immoral, selfish, bad woman. The wholesale rejection of Lily as the moral center based on her perceived immorality is the other side of the coin.

I'll refer to people with this perspective as "Lily haters" though I am aware there are people who dislike her outside of the topics I'm discussing.

I rarely engage with Lily haters, though I am aware of their arguments that Lily was a bad friend to Severus, a social climber, a gold digger, or boring. All grave sins for the woman who's supposed to save everyone.

This perspective doesn't reject Lily as the moral center or the perfect woman, it is an argument that she's not fulfilling her role correctly. Her unwillingness to give Severus more chances is selfish, stuck-up, classist. Her desire for James is an further betrayal of Severus.

She's supposed to be the Madonna, why is she being a whore?

I believe Lily hate comes from a belief she failed at being the perfect woman/mother, and therefore she is worthless. A bitch. Weak willed. Oversexed. even by haters her role as the moral center is not questioned.

in both the og text and in the fandom supertext Lily is the moral center because of her role as mother. her status as the moral center is inextricably tied to her motherhood. since Lily being a mother is the point of her character, divorcing her from her motherhood often changes the foundation of her character.**

when her literal motherhood is removed from a depiction of her character, her metaphorical status as the perfect woman/mother is often still intact. this is seen in the characterizations I described earlier, and, I argue, in the belief that she's too good for James when it is used as a "justification" for shipping James with someone else.*** thereby, she is further purified, not even having been touched by a man. she's put on a pedestal, where she can't be touched, and is rarely noticed.

it is also frequently seen when she is written as a side character in a relationship with James, and the pair become the dual moral guides for the main couple.

this reflects James and Lily as the ideal masculine and feminine, as they are a perfectly harmonious couple when a side pairing. their implicit canonical roles are subconsciously reflected in fanon with little critique or commentary on the canon text.

Lily's entire character is crafted to be The Perfect Mother™️. whether she is literally a mother in her fanon depiction or not, she is still The Perfect Woman™️—and is still affected by the biases our culture has towards women and mothers.

thus, Lily is the dream girl in the text, the moral center only seen through a nostalgic veil, and a dream girl in fan spaces, as the moral guide for the men in her life who pegs her husband or is too pure for the touch of a man.

for more on gender in the wizarding world, based on gender in early modern england (pre the cult of domesticity) see this post

*see the cult of domesticity if you'd rather not read the article

**please like fucking do not fucking act like I'm saying you cannot do this. I swear to fucking god

***you don't need to justify your ships

[0w0tsuki]

My thing about the femboy discourse is that I don't think there's much value in trying to delineate whether femboys are "really TMA" because that's not my fucking problem with femboys. My problem is something even the other trans feminists who've talked about this have had to tip-toe around and I'm just going to outright say it.

A MAJORITY of self identified femboys/femboy attracted people (yeah because our problem is not with the identity in and of itself but how the attraction to the transfeminine body while denying the transfemininity is a core tenent to Femboy culture. This cis girl who's into femboys because she sees them as someone that she as a woman can have power over un the patriarchy is a part of this conversation too) in the WIDER online community (Tumblr is a bubble!) are OPEN transmisogynists. Open as in they loudly proclaim their view of transfems as men, their complete disrespect of transfems boundaries, and their fetishisation of all transfeminine bodies as their preferred male sex object. Open as in STEALING the identity of Transfem Sex workers for their sissy scam blogs. Open as in harassing anyone they can get their hands on about how transfemininity is shoved down their throats. Open as in they can get together and make entire social media sites unusable with their bitchfit crybaby tantrums about Transfem existence.

Everybody loves to come together and make fun of these cretins when they get together to rage about the newest Transfem confirmation as a way to virtue signal being to recognize obvious out and proud transmisogyny and then collectively snap their fingers to forget about them the instant they quite down. The instant they would have to recognize that people like this are ALWAYS this vocal about it in their personal lives they just aren't as organized. The instant they would have to recon that there is a large contingent of mspec transmisoginists who are obsessed with transfems and make it their life's goal to sexualize our existence as much as possible while denying us our femininity and humanity.

The instant that they would have to recon that perhaps femboy isn't a queer friendly catchall term for "feminine boy" and is actually a term with history. That in that history there is trauma, exploitation, and harrasment. That that history is happening daily. That there are transfems whose only history with the term IS THAT HISTORY. That there are transfems whose experience with femboys has been the most transmisogynistic hateful bile she's ever experienced.

The instance a transfem asserts that she might not be 100% comfortable being around self identified femboys. That she might not not take kindly to the assertion that they are essentially the same thing and that infact femboys are her closest ally in the queer community. She's told to put all that to the side because uwu soft bean tboys would self combust from sadness if they were forced to think for even a second that their new word for gender expression might not be the purest thing in the world and they would actually have to be considerate of how they interact with others.

Then she's an evil perisex bio essentialist who just hates men being feminine and gender nonconformity and is trying to pull the ladder up by denying eggs femboy culture. She's actually actually an anti-sex puritan whose having an autogynophilia based disgust reaction. She's a pickme trying to throw Transfem femboys under the bus.

If you want transfems to feel safe around femboys then stop attacking everyone who doesn't. Work on your own problems. Neither of you were responsible for burning this bridge but it's selfish of you to put it on her to fix it. Your going to have to put an effort into stopping those fires from being started. Do not blame her for being burned.

[nekropsii]

[Re: Twitter Cancellation Ask Game]

Anons are live for this!! If everyone behaves, I may keep them on. Answering these in bulk for less spam.

Content Warning: Long.

@starlit1daydream

It's true. I don't even know what there is to defend about them. Not as in I can't see any reason to enjoy their characters - one could theoretically count me as a fan of all three of them, just not in a fandom way - but as in I literally don't know what kind of mental gymnastics people could pull to say they're good, defensible people. I know for Rufioh, it's that He's Hot and Damara Bad, but that doesn't compute in my head as a logical reason, even if it is a tangible and consistent one. There just isn't any math there. Kankri and Cronus aren't ever given consistent reasons for defense, so they're even more incalculable than Rufioh. Cronus is also given the He's Hot reason despite literally not being even remotely attractive, Abusiveness Aside. Fucked.

@time-was-over

People are mad at me about this consistently and I truly cannot think of a single thing more juvenile and liberal to be mad at. Never am I given a good reason to change my mind on Shipping Culture and Fandom being plagues.

"It's deeply misogynistic" gets the response of "Yeah <3" "It's deeply homophobic" gets the response of "Nuh uh! You're just saying that because you hate gay men, you homophobe!" "It's deeply aphobic" gets the response of, again, "Nuh uh! You're just saying that because you hate gay men, you homophobe!", but with added "God, I hope you kill yourself you fun-hating puritan." Lol!

Shipping Culture is a disease and I hope to see it get dismantled in my lifetime. This shit fucking sucks. Not a single brain cell is involved in it. Some of the most bigoted slop in the world is ejected from its gullet.

@memeticexistence

I don't think I have particularly hot takes about Eridan, I just don't woobify him because I do not crave to turn a genocidal incel into a perfect little pretty anime yaoi prince, and I frankly think it is weird how many people do that to his character. There's a lot being said with Eridan's existence, and it all seems to have flown over 99% of the fandom's heads because some people won't keep their dick in their pants about a 13-year-old alt-righter with Harry Potter inspiration plastered all over him. I do not particularly know what you mean by "Jane Truther". What is there to make conspiracies about regarding Jane's character? I don't post about her very often.

Classic. I have gotten yelled at about this on Tumblr as well. I have gotten yelled at for this several times. It's really cool, the way the particularly fandom-brained think. Misogyny is Good if it's a part of the method you Consume Content.

They are burning me at the stake for this daily. They're calling me Crispy Jim now, on account of the burnings. I look like beef jerky with limbs. Sad!

Tumblr has called me homophobic! Several times! Mostly because I said I don't really like DirkJake. Or shipping culture. I'm a grown ass aromantic man who likes horror, I do not want or need countless images of two teenage boys kissing fervently to feel represented. I have options. I can just watch a damn horror movie. Or Dragon Ball Z, or some other anime. Dragon Ball Z never fails me when it comes to aromantic homoeroticism between adult men. Horror movies also never fail me when it comes to homoeroticism between adult men. There are just more options in this world than fanfiction and fanart of teen boys kissing. I don't need it. It just makes me feel like a creep by looking at it half the time. God damn.

[nexionswild]

IN WHICH MANEATER!reader admits their feelings for the van der linde boys. [p.2] [p.1]

includes: charles ∿ lenny ∿ sean ∿ bill

content warning: fluff, a little angsty in bill’s part, no pronouns [GN]

a/n: i think half of them are so ooc nd im so sorry omdgshjq i’m still trying to figure out how to write for lenny and sean but i promise i’ll get better with time 🦾

✦ ﹒ charles smith

you caught him off guard, that's for sure..

charles is used to being perceived as intimidating and scary, considering his origins and his size, but that's what you like about him.

he never noticed how you'd stare lovingly whenever he'd explain his cultural way of hunting down animals or practice some other things.

and you never noticed how much he had to turn his head away when he saw you flirting men according to dutch's plan. but charles have dignity, and would admit to have found himself jealous every time you'd coo love words out of those pretty lips of yours.

probably needs time to acknowledge that you're dead serious about this relationship, and really looking forward to it. he's not against it tho, he's just.. surprised.

be ready because those massive hands of his are never leaving your waist the moment he gracefully accepts your confession. like never ever. and he doesn't have any shame either, and maybe he'll refrain from being too much of a sweetie in camp for your sake, given you can be easily embarassed if he surprise you with his loving demeanour, but he won't hold back as soon as the gang members are away.

"my mother taught me all the ways to treat a lover.. i hope it'll meet your expectations."

unfiltered romantic. it makes you blush how much he says the most romantic thing out of pocket and pretend like that never happened.

your name is the only thing that comes out of his mouth every now and then, you know because arthur keeps mentioning how much charles talks about you as if you were the only beautiful thing that's plaguing his mind.

✦ ﹒ lenny summers

lenny is so flustered, i'm sorry, god, he's baby

he probably stammered like a fool after you confessed, why wouldn't he? you're perfect, so perfect and he's just some kid, trying to be a big bad outlaw. perhaps that's what you like about him. he's nervous like a little kitty, and lord knows how much nervous men makes your day.

"i- i.. ahem.. yes, yes, of course!"

you made him so embarassed, i hope you're proud of yourself.

he'll struggle telling you how jealous he felt, it didn't really struck his mind first before you even confessed, i mean, sure he did think you were charming, but he never really bat an eye at your work.

he only got feelings because you were fun to listen to, you didn’t notice how he’d watch you every time you went on your drunken rants. it’s only recently that you found out according to karen.

for most of the part, lenny would rely on you. i mean you can’t blame him, you’re popular. in a way, you are, you’re like dutch. you have a lot of contacts, and charisma, he’s been a bystander. he’s pretty awkward, he doesn’t know what to do, but you find it cute, somehow.

of course, he’ll start to man up eventually when he feels more confident by the time you’ve shown him what you’re most comfortable with in terms of love languages, and he easily adapts himself to it. i mean, he absolutely loves spending time with you, and the amount of patience you put in for him really melts his heart in a way, but he’ll never admit it. ever.

depending on what you’re most comfortable with, lenny would gladly ride all the way to saint-denis for the simple wish of getting you something expensive, or even bring you along with him so you get to choose what you want. something he didn’t expect to see is you using your flirtatious ways of getting an item for free.

“you really know how to fool a man.. please don’t make a fool out of me.”

✦ ﹒ sean macguire

“ha! i knew ya’d fall for me!”

absolutely did not know you’d fall for him.

sean likes to be confident, at least he likes to appear confident. but often mix things up with arrogance, and if you were to call him out on that, he would tone it down a little. he doesn’t mean to be rude to you, he’s genuinely happy, he just doesn’t know how to properly express it.

sean have a loud mouth, and he didn’t hide the fact that he was getting irritated when men were attracted to you, often times he’d be barked at by arthur or john for fucking up your plan for being jealous. he never understood it, he thought he was being a gentleman chasing those creeps away.

he’s a comedian, on accident. you don’t know how to describe it but there’s something really sweet in seeing him ramble to the point where he’s humorous like that. you guess that’s how you fell for him. sean is so honest. and so dumb, too.

what you most love, is when he gets drunk. that’s where he starts to be overwhelmingly affectionate. and the gang teases you about it, but you couldn’t care less. he’s adorable that way! why would you make fun of something as precious as his honesty? especially when he’s slurring on his words, too?

he’s not a charmer with words, and he knows it. that’s why the best he could do to prove his love is by teasing or joking around with you, he’s trying his best.

“these english men keeps bullyin’ ya… just tell me! i’ll shoot ‘em right between thei’ eyes, yeah?”

he wants to look strong and fearless for you, he wants to impress you in every way he can. sometimes, you’d see him getting angry about the fact that he lost something, wether i’d be a fist fight or a game, but the moment he sees you, he gets embarrassed.

you’re the only one who can reassure him that what he failed to achieve doesn’t matter much, the effort is more important.

✦ ﹒ bill williamson

doesn’t believe you. at all.

bill was always made fun of, or teased by others to get a rise out of him. and he doesn’t believe you, because he thinks it’s just another way to make him mad. but he can’t help and think how evil this is, using you, someone he truly admire, to pick on him?

when you insist that you’re not joking, bill starts to get angry. not at you, but it’s just the way he is, he’s trying his best but he’s still in doubt.

given your reputation with men, and how many times he have to ignore you on duty, he just think it’s purely for the entertainment of seeing him falling like a fool. williamson is someone who’s not joking around, and that you know.

“if you love me, why would you?” he snaps. then immediately regrets. he doesn’t wanna lash it out on you, and he’d drink himself to death if he’s actually convinced that you love him that way.

he wants to apologize, but no words are leaving his mouth. and there’s an unbearable amount of pressure on his shoulders by this point, but when you take your time and explain to him the reason behind your fondness, he softens up a tad.

you had the patience to deal with him, surely you were serious?

“fine. i believe you. but i’m warning you, if this is some sick joke, i’ll—… i’ll…”

he won’t do anything.

for the past few weeks, you’ve been awfully affectionate towards him to prove your point. and he complains about it, tho he secretly enjoy having your full undivided attention. every time dutch planned to take him for a mission, you’ve been prepping his saddle and equipments, and when he came back, you’ve welcome him back with your arms open.

and while you were acting like some kind of stay-at-home spouse, bill would be silently protective over you. when you have to talk to men and women and fake another of your identity to wrap them around your finger, bill would silently sit at a table nearby and watch carefully, making sure no one lays a finger on you.

and when you thank him for his care through kisses, all you hear are grumbling noises and a little “you’re welcome”.

he’s just an angry worked up man, but you love him for it. (surprisingly!)

[thesirencult]

MEN ARE LOOKING FOR THE APPROVAL OF OTHER MEN, NOT YOU

You know what I'm talking about. He is not looking to impress you. He is looking to impress his boys by being with you.

You are just another stroke for his ego.

Only 5%-10% of men do not care about their peer's approval. Let that sink in. You are less important to them than some of their friends are. This is why if a guy's friend makes fun of his gf he would drop her.

Now, women. We don't go around building strong relationships. Sadly, we stay competing with eachother for men's attention!! We should all create a girl circle with a couple good, strong ladies who are TRUE friends. Even if you can find just one good girlfriend or a gay friend, DO IT!

Why do you think he got you that Range Rover ? Why did he buy you the Cartier Bracelet that absolutely does not hold its own worth ?

He just wants other men to see you and feel jealous. Then they will consider him the ALphA.

When you are a high value woman you automatically raise the value of ANY MAN YOU LOOK AT.

That's why wealthy but low value men marry superficial but gorgeous women. They can play "arm-candy". Can you even imagine being with a man who does not consider you a person with their own identity, thoughts and ideas? Is the money worth it? How much does your dignity cost?

Don't get discouraged if the vast majority of men don't approach you. There are guys out there who have escaped this mindset or don't really care about the opinions of others. Sometimes I wonder if it is much better to find a "nerdy" guy rather than a boastful man. Maybe we should stop attaching value to superficial things like cars and a big attitude. Many high value men are super humble and reserved, cause they don't want anything to do with this "fast and shiny" culture.

I'm against approaching men first but I've noticed that many successful relationships start by a guy who is interested yet reserved and a girl that seduces him slowly and lets him explore her slowly.

They are only a handful of them, but look around you... How many women do you see who are truly high value in the way you're trying to be?

How many women do you see boosting men's egos and getting nothing in return?

Like I always say : Invest in yourself, build your own empire and let someone in only if they are there to support you and love you.

[storkmuffin]

Hello! I literally just came back to Tumblr after a several year hiatus because of the tiktok drama, and stumbled across your posts. It's been really fun to see your thoughts, especially getting a bit of cultural context here and there has been wonderful! You've written a lot about what you like about each member, but I'm curious about how you feel about their relationships with each other, especially as a baby atiny. I find their interconnected friendships really interesting, even outside of a shipper context (and I am curious about how you feel about that as well!) I have always had a huge weakness for found families lol

Hi! Welcome back :D Thank you for reading and commenting!

TLDR for what follows: I take a much harder, colder stance on the 'found family' narrative they keep pushing with Boy Idols than perhaps befits an Atiny about Ateez, but I do have my reasons.

I take the view that first and foremost, Idol groups are business working groups. I'm a little bit (okay, a lot) skeptical of what's presented as 'family' and 'friendships' among these people, generally speaking, because Kpop Idols are just following Korean norms of social interaction for coworkers.

Hopefully this isn't boring but I need to just use myself as an example: I am the 'leader' of my working group of 5 people in my department that has about 70 people in my Korean company. I report to 3 levels of bosses but mostly they let me 'run' the group. My one group-mate is the same age as me, the other three are younger. The woman who's the youngest (our maknae, though not by a lot) - she's a baseball freak. The rest of us dgaf about baseball, but whenever we have our monthly 'bonding' lunch (obligatory, by the way - I'm given a monthly budget that I have to spend eating with this group, all together), all of us take turns indulgently asking her about baseball news, and ooh and ahh and pamper her in her baseball speeches. Do you see what I mean? This is just how we behave. It probably looks like family, to a Westerner, but truth be told, we are none of us actually friends.

The fact that Hwa and Wooyoung have both called their CEO Father freaks me out, by the way. Absolute heebie jeebies, though this too is a feminist, gendered thing. Sexual harassers pre-MeToo always said they'd 'forgotten themselves' because they felt like they were 'family' with the woman they raped or molested. It sounded just as insane in Korean as it does in English, but that was an accepted excuse until it totally wasn't.

In addition, one of the requirements of Boy Idols is that they provide emotional succor to their almost entirely female audience (I am organizing my thoughts and what I've learned through research about why this is for another post). Korea is an exceptionally family-focused society, but that is often exploitative and terrible for women. (Which is why so many women keep saying they don't want to marry and form families - the potential personal burden is ruinous.) So Boy Idols showing what a 'family' can look like when nobody is a woman - when even the 'mommy' or the 'bossy big sister' or the 'baby sister' is all men - and are shown to always, in the end, get along, is the non-sexual equivalent of BL fiction, which I think functions to let straight women 'escape' from misogynist heterosexuality and enjoy the concept of male sexuality in an ultimately quite straight way. Boy Idol groups being 'found famliy' gets you to enjoy the nice things about a voluntary family completely denuded of even the possibility of misogyny, because women just don't exist in the story at all.

Further, because so many megastar Idols have committed suicide in recent years, and because the people who were in training for years and ultimately didn't make it also tell nightmare stories about their lives, it's become necessary for Idol groups to advertise that they are not toxic workplaces. So I see the 'miraculous getting together of pairs of friends to make a successful kpop group!' mythos as part of that counter-narrative, as well. My bet is that the 연습생 world, like any sort of prep situation in Korea, is fucking hostile. It has to be. In the normie world of just college prep, people don't share notes or pretend to be civil or anything other than competitors. Your failure increases my chances of success, type of deal.

Part of the Ateez self-narrative about how they came together to me also just seem pretty typical of people who are in the performing arts in general, as well. The School of American Ballet takes in little kids to train them, and if they manage to make it through many cuts over a number of years, they then debut with the New York City Ballet or American Ballet Theater, where they will compete against and/or partner with each other until the end of their usually short (like 10 years or less) careers, trying to get to the 'top.' The kpop Idol industry follows this system of 'growing' its own artists, often in boarding schools or specialized institutions, just like ballet dancers. It looks different because the cultural context is different, but the essence is the same.

I've seen all the K-Atiny flutterings about, THIS IS FATE and stuff, but given that K-Pop Idol has really specific physical requirements, it makes sense to me that as they got older, the kids who were really determined to do this as a job and also were not kicked/ flunked out would eventually all meet and some to become friends.

The fact that Mingi followed Yunho, and Wooyoung followed Yeosang to this small venture that had never launched an Idol group before can be seen in two ways, I think. One is that they are best friends, in a pure, childhood way. It's so sweet and moving that it doesn't feel quite real, and doesn't fit with how you expect people who in essence wanted to be child stars and then rock stars to be like. It makes them very lovable.

But, just to be the ultimate cynical bitch about it, the paths Ateez took may have more to do with the fact that Mingi-Yunho and Yeosang-Wooyoung are the tall and short versions of being 2% Off the Idol Standard, to my Korean eyes. These two sets of friendships may have come from sharing the same problem - of being almost, but not quite, 'right' or 'ripe' for debut.

Mingi and Yunho, despite the fashion for tall Boy Idols, seem to have not made the cut to become 연습생 (prep students? how do kpop international fans call this?) at any of the big houses nor get recruited off the street. And that makes sense - Mingi is in the 짐승돌 (Beast-Idol) mode, which has fallen out of fashion for some time, and Yunho suffers from being too standard and initially appears indistinct as a result.

Yeosang and Wooyoung seem to have fallen into a different kind of 연습생 hell - good enough to get a spot, do well enough not to get kicked out, but not have enough of what it takes for a 'big house' to include you in an actual group that will debut. Yeosang often being a mild person who doesn't react in a lightening fast way would have disadvantaged him for sure. Wooyoung is so handsome but like, if you compare him to say, Felix of Stray Kids, he also looks just so manly, which would have made him difficult to place. To drop out of Hybe 연습생 to try out this thing with KQ, which had never done it before speaks of a certain desperation.

Other than HongJoong, who did a really weird and unusual thing of making a company build a program around him, the 99z were all up against a fast approaching deadline of aging out of being able to debut, since they have a hard stop at age 28 each, and one of the key ways to cultivate a hardcore Korean female fandom is to have them participate in 'raising' you. Can't do that if you debut at 25, you know?

Almost 7 years later? First, they've achieved wild success, together, when none of them were necessarily the most likely to succeed, and they definitely are NOT with the company most likely to successfully launch an Idol group. That's gotta be great for bonding. Second, only the eight of them can actually really understand wtf that life is like - the hardships or pains that come with what otherwise just looks glorious. Third, all the psych studies agree that singing together and dancing together with other humans makes you love them more, and feel more bonded and more belonging, and doing singing and dancing together is these people's full time job. Fourth (sorry the cynicism is back), if they can't make it work within this group, they will have a hard time pursuing show business careers in the future. You have to have 'good character' as an Idol to not be decimated by the anti-fans, and an essential element of 'good character' in the Korean style is knowing how to be a good member of a collective. And fifth, what KQ and Ateez are doing vis-a-vis each other (Company v Contractors) as well as inside Ateez is a sort of positive-reinforcement of Mutually Assured Destruction with all this family talk. They're family and brothers and the CEO is their DAD and their producer Eden is their big brother so ... when the 7 year contract deadline rolls around, KQ shouldn't stomp on Ateez, Ateez shouldn't stomp on KQ, and the members should not go for broke as individuals. I think that's part of it.

[matriarchjojo]

⠀⠀  ⠀⠀⠀  ⠀𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐎.

KOKONOI + BIMBO!READER ‧₊˚⊹

18+, chubby!reader, friends to fwb, oral, public sex, praise, rich ass reader and koko, mutual pining, fucked out koko, (kind of) inexperienced koko, softdom!reader + sub!kokonoi, use of 'good boy' and 'mistress', mentions of bdsm and pegging,

You and your bestie koko just went shopping together and were now on your way, driving home in a limo, and.. you suggest sucking his dick.

All chars are over 18 ⊹ reader's skin color is not mentioned ⊹ mdni

The two of you were just coming out of dior after buying some heels and earrings, right on your way to Koko's limo. The driver was already waiting for you two. "And after he talked all that shit i said 'with that outfit?'" He told you about some stories back when he was part of a gang, and you two laughed. "That's so like you!" You giggled. "I wish I would have been there, ugh.."

you said as you got into the back of the car with the nice golden lighting and expensive champagne. Koko watched you get in, and as you turned your head, his gaze was very obviously on your ass.

Once he noticed you looked at him, he quickly looked away, and you had a knowing grin on your face before sitting down on the seats.

"So..we're going home?" You asked, you already knew the answer. "Yes."

All you two did was get dressed nicely to go shopping and then just sit at Koko's huge nice couch and watch movies from 1990 to the 2000s. You would watch for hours.. until it was pitch black outside and koko either let you sleep there or he would drive you home.

"Oh, koko! Do you remember that guy I mentioned I liked?" Koko remembered. He hated him.

He pretended to be this cultured man who liked art, fancy music, and all that shit.. but koko knew exactly he was just trying to impress you. He hated those fucking men, "sadly i do.." no man you ever brought up was ever good enough for you in kokos opinion.

You rolled your eyes with a grin "anyways..he invited me to a party in some fancy villa," you explained, and koko sipped on the champagne, rolling his eyes "mhm.."

"I won't go."

He didn't expect you to say that..he expected you to go and let this limp dicked fucker fuck you and leave you unsatisfied. Like every guy you wrnt on a date with..

He would never ever say this but..he could definitely make you cum so hard you'd go blind

"Ohoho~" he purred all cocky "you'll just let that amazing man go, huh?" You laughed and softly hit his upper arm with the back of your hand."I just don't wanna hear him talk anymore! God!" Koko looked at you with the most cockiest grin."Are you saying that... I was right?" He fake gasped, and you bitterly grinned at him in return "no I'm not saying that." You said.

"It's just that I just wanna be with you today," koko couldn't help but feel his heart soften a little bit. "It's way more fun to be with my best friends than with some boring fuck boy" and just like that you let his heart down again. Of course, koko loved you as a friend. In fact, he would say he enjoyed being around you more than anyone else actually. But he couldn’t help but think about 'what if'

What if he kissed you?

What if he told you he'd treat you better than anyone else ever did?

What if he told you that he'd eat you out?

What if you two were more than friends?

But he's afraid that if he did all of the above, he would lose you. And he didn't wanna risk it. Even though the way you looked at him most of the time was more than a friendly look.

"Well, that sounds perfect because I was planning on the same thing," koko said as he took a sip of his champagne with raised eyebrows. You smiled at him and then looked away to bite your bottom lip.

That's it.

That's what he meant.

Now it was dead quiet again, and there was sexual tension, it was making the air in the limousine feel stuffy. So koko just side eyed you while looking you up and down, from your cleavage that he could see through your open white button down dior shirt and the VS black bra, down to your chubby tummy that was visible through your tight and long black Mugler pencil skirt to your soft and squishy thighs wrapped in nice black back seam tights. And those beautiful red bottom Louboutins, he actually bought them for you on your birthday.

You noticed koko watching you. He always thought you didn't notice, but you obviously did. Truth be told..

You wanted to be more than friends with him.

Especially since there was always a quiet pause between you two where you could feel the sexual tension. And you were afraid that if you didn't fuck at least once..you two could drive away from eachother..

And that stare was the last straw for you. You just had to turn to him. You got a little closer than normal and said a little. "Hey." Like you were asking something. And it obviously took koko off guard. "H-hey?" He asked, confused and flustered. You were bending your upper body a bit, giving him an even better view of your tits and the pretty bra. It was making him feel hot all of a sudden.

"Can I ask you something weird?" You whispered, still leaning over to him, so close that he could smell the alcohol on your tongue. "Sure, go ahead, I guess.." he responded, still confused and filled with anticipation, deep down he hoped that you would ask him to fuck you. "Okay.." you said, taking another sip of your drink before asking.

"Have you ever thought about me sucking you off?"

Koko's grip on his glass, and the leather seats tightened that he almost ripped a hole into the expensive fabric. He was quiet for a second, knowing his face looked like he was lacking oxygen. Because he was. He didn't notice he was holding in his breath until he decided to laugh it off out of nervousness he wasnt good with women or even men. He's just a little awkward when it comes to intimacy, even when he really, really wants it. Like right now. "What??"

But as he laughed and you just kept smiling at him with that 'fuck me' look in your eyes, his palms started to get sweaty. "You know what I asked. C'mon, " you said, clearly. You knew you didn't need to repeat it. "Have you?"

Koko didn't know if this was one of your weird teasing jokes..if he said the wrong thing he'd be fucked. Not in the way he wants to be anyway..

"Uhm.." he laughed again nervously. "Is this a joke?" He asked with a suspicious expression. He wanted to be sure.

You just quietly shook your head. "No, I'm just curious." You said with an unreadable smile. Koko hated when he couldn't tell what other people were thinking. Especially when he couldn't tell what you were thinking.

Koko swallowed and looked to the side nervously until your voice made him look at you again "then I'll tell you something first.."

"I thought about it." You said boldly.

That line definitely stopped kokos heart for a second. He started shaking and sweating.

Right after you said it, you closed the small window that let the driver see you two. Koko started breathing a little heavier. Are you actually trying to suck his dick??

"And?" You started, "What about you?"

Koko actually started to relax a bit hearing you confess. Having closure is all he needed to gain a little confidence. He felt your long nails trace his thigh over his dress pants, drawing dangerously close to his crotch.

He gulped and looked from his lap back up at you, being almost on his lap.

"Yeah.." he responded. "I did."

A smirk started stretching your pretty and lipgloss covered lips. "Want me to do it?" You asked, just above a whisper. Staring at koko like his dick was already between your lips.

Fuck he was sweating so much now, of course he wants it! But he just couldn't get any words out.

He coughed and nodded with closed eyes. "I need a verbal answer." You said, tracing your middle finger over the big golden chanel belt buckle. "S-sure—yes! Please.." he stuttered.

You smiled and kissed your best friend on the cheek, and he let out a frustrated and needy sigh. You've never seen koko being flustered. You only knew him being cocky, confident, and...cunty. so seeing him being so stuttery and nervous is refreshing.

Once you put your hand on his buckle, starting to unbuckle it while placing wet and sticky kisses on the sensitive skin of kokos neck. He surprisingly let out little moans and sighs.

The belt was open, and you unzipped his pants, wasting no time to slide your hand into his pants and boxers, immediately you found his hard cock. You gasped softly at the warmth, hardness, and most of all: lenght.

You never actually saw each other naked. Ever. He only saw you when you wanted to try on your new Victoria secret underwear, and that was also the only thing koko ever jerked off to. He never wanted to think of it, but his own mind betrayed him every time.

"Fuck—that feels..really fuckin' good.." he huffed, you barely even stroked him, but you weren't judging..you know he hadn't had a date since last year January when he met a cute guy at a party..and it was March now.

You continued stroking him as you pressed your tits against his chest. You looked up at Koko's face to see him already flushed a pretty deep pink. You wanted to kiss him until he couldn't even breathe properly. But you weren't sure if this was something he wanted as he could find kissing too romantic. "Wanna kiss?" Koko chuckled in response before just kissing you. It didn't even start of slow, because neither of you wanted that.

You just wanted to feel eachothers warmth. While kissing, you started pulling his pants now to his ankles, breaking the kiss in the process and lowering yourself along with the pants.

You put your hand on his chest to make him lean back into the leather seat while you kissed his bare thigh as his cock was right next to your face.

Finally seeing you like this was more than satisfying to koko, it was all he fucking wanted all this time. "You look so fuckin' beautiful.." you smiled but said nothing back, you just wanted his long and pretty cock in your throat.

As soon as you started kissing up his cock he tipped his head back "shit—oh my fucking.." he trailed off as he started moaning. His moans were pure music to your ears, and it just egged you on to suck the soul out of him.

You put your lips on the tip of his cock and he started twitching, "o-oh fuck—" he cursed again. You found it so cute how he already mindlessly babbled. You darted your tongue out and sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth with your tongue flat on the backside of his cock. You then slowly, slowly lowered your mouth on his cock until you reached his balls and his tip was in the back of your throat.

Koko felt like he was gonna faint, his hips stayed flexed, and an inch above the limo seat. His hand was in your hair involuntarily, he just needed to hold onto something or he would lose his fucking mind.

Then, all of a sudden you started to Bob your head up and down on his throbbing cock, making koko slap his hand infront of his mouth to cover up his loud and pathetic moans. But it was no use, and he knew it, but it was more so that the driver couldn't hear what a horny slut kokonoi Hajime was.

"Mhpff!—" he moaned against his hand. He had already started to drool against it. He was disgusting, but he felt good, free even. Giving you full control over him made him feel at ease, koko did have a busy life where he had to control everything, but having someone control him and his pleasure made him feel relaxed.

"Good boy.." you hummed before you started to stuff his long cock back into your throat. Kokos' eyes widened, and he scratched at the seat. At this point the didn't give a single fuck about the expensive leather because what you just called flipped a switch in his brain and he just moved his hand from his mouth, it was all shiny from his own spit

"m-may I—shit!.." he began. "may I call you mistress?" He asked, and suddenly you felt yourself getting to the point of being as horny as koko.. you truly did not expect this.. and you think neither would have koko.

You pulled off of his pulsing cock to look up at him and use your middlefinger to wipe away some if his precum from your lips. You would die to have him call you that, and you would kill to have him as your slut.

"You may.." you said with a sultry smile as you continued to jerk him off. "Tha-thank you.." then you squeezed his cock as a warning "who are you thanking?" You asked as you stopped jerking him off and just having a tight grip on him, before he could correct himself you got lower and started sucking one of his balls into your mouth. Making Koko's head fly back onto the seat rest and his eyes roll back. "I—" he struggled to catch his breath and choked on his spit for a second. "Thank you, mistress!"

"There we go.. Remember that for next time, " you said with a knowing smirk. Koko looked back at you, and you saw that he already had small tears in the corners of his eyes. He looked so cute..

Koko bit his bottom lip to stiffle his breathless moans. "Y-yes..Mistress," his mind went racing at the thought of a next time... God, he wanted you to do horrible things to him. He wanted to see you in a matching latex bra and thong set. He wanted you to tie and gag him. He wanted you to just fucking use him. Peg him! Ride his face 'til he can't breathe! He will fucking beg for it! The once reserved and cocky koko was now nothing more than a desperate slut.

As you continued to suck on his cock your other hand went up to feel up his chest to then reach his lips, koko immediately just started sucking on them as if it was in his DNA to obey you.

Koko grabbed your hand and swirled his tongue around your digits as your head kept bobbing up and down, koko pressed his hips up from the seat, and his eyes rolled back behind his closed eyes as he started sucking your fingers more desperately.

The feeling of him throbbing and twitching in your throat while his wet and warm tongue swirled around your manicured fingers made you so wet, you knew that your tights were also soaked through. You've never felt as horny as you did in the very moment. The rush of sucking your friends dick in a moving vehicle, not knowing if the driver can hear you. and the fact that koko would literally whore himself out for you,

"M-mhh!—" he moaned loudly around your fingers. He was about to cum..and youwere going to swallow every single drop.

Koko shivered and thrashed around. His grip on your hand tightened as his hips started to rit back into your throat. You hollowed your cheeks, and koko suddenly came with choked and loud moans. With every moan, he started to relax more and more.

The bitter and salty cum shot into your mouth and you moaned at the taste of his hot cum, it drove you wild..

Koko sighed one last time, and you took your fingers out of his mouth. He looked down at you, hair messy, lip makeup smeared with spit and cum.

His mind was so clouded by lust and the after shock of a life changing orgasm that he didn't realize where his cum was. Until he heard a gulp, and you licked your lips. "fuck—did you just..swallow it?.." he asked and you just got up to lay your chest on his and he winced a bit at his cock meeting your skirt.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and your kissed him, his tongue swirled around yours and he sighed at the taste of champagne and his cum.

You then looked at him with a soft smile. "You did good.." You kissed him again. "Y-you did good..you did really good.." koko complimented you back.

After a few seconds of just staring after each other, koko asked "so..you said next time.."

You grinned and picked out a long, pretty strand of his hair to swirl it around your finger. "Yeah, I did.. Would you like that?" Koko blinked away some of the remaining tears and nodded "yeah..sure.."

"Then how about you return the favor while we watch movies?" Koko's eyes widened assist cock twitched slightly against you, it's crazy how he's still hard..this never happened before. "Y-yeah,I'd love to," you jokingly hit him on his arm. "Don't go soft on me now. On the way home, we'll still only be besties, alright?" You said while sitting up and wiping your skirt and face clean with some tissues you had in your black dior purse, you handed some to koko and as he wiped his cock clean, you took a tissue and wiped his face clean.

It took him by surprise. He looked up at you, and you smiled. "You still have so much spit and lipgloss on your face, hun"

After you two were done wiping everything, you straightened your clothes out, and you sat back down next to him. If you didn't know that, you just sucked the soul out of his dick. It would look like you two were just friends.

But then you put your hand on his thigh,

You two knew his couch would need to be replaced after fucking it up with multiple cum, sweat and saliva stains.

[birdsareblooming]

im so tired of having to defend myself on both sides

like. ok. i'm queer right. bi, demigender, aro, etc. also you know a girl, demi or not. all the time i have to defend myself from american christians who via mistranslations and misinterpretations spread by horrible leaders for generations have been led into a cult-like hierarchy that tells them to hate me when hate for us isn't in their book or supposed to be in their ways.

i'm also "christian". i hesitate to use the full term because of how bad american christianity has gotten. but i believe in the same god nontheless. every day i feel i have to defend myself from queer people as well

like. i so get it. as i have just established american and european christianity has gotten so fucked up and literally off-script that i'm shocked we haven't gotten another 95 thesis and a completely new branch. it's awful horrible and people who believe in such ideas should not be in power. to the point where calling myself a christian feels wrong. at least in america.

i need ya'll to have some nuance.

firstly the understanding that those who hate queer people, non-white people in any form, women, whatever else. isn't even in the text they follow. people have misused it since it was written. preaching just the verse saying wives should care for their husbands and not the one right after saying husbands should love their wives. taking out verses referring to god's "womb." about adam might not even being a man, as in, more likely nonbinary, the verse about david getting an errection when hugging johnathan. changing verses about cleanliness into women and men not wearing the same cloths. changing verses about cultural codes and allowing a world where people have to resort to prositution into verses condemning homosexuality. [X]

like. you know the matrix. was written as a trans metaphor. then a bunch of alpha sigma grindset rich white boys took it and appropriated it, misinterpreted it, used it to boost themselves and hurt women. it's like that. those people don't make the matrix a bad movie, they just don't know it's a trans metaphor. and trans people who enjoy the matrix are like. normal and cool.

as you can see i am passionate about this. i have all this stuff memorized not only to defend my queerness but my christianity as im doing now.

there are queer christians. there are certainly poc christians as right now, south america and south africa have the highest christian populations, to the point where they're sending missionaries to america.

again i'm asking for some nuance. when i see posts basically saying "the christian god is dumb" or "satan was right actually" and blantent misinformation about what the bible says. like those kind of posts hurt my heart. my god made me queer and loves me for it, i believe in a kind god, most good christians do. i feel like other religions don't get this treatment and it's just to spiritually piss off your catholic parents.

speaking of, in doing so you seem to forget about other abrahamic religions.

i once saw a post criticizing something directly from the old testament, out of context of course. saying god was cruel and the belives were flawed and all this due to one verse. people tend to forget, or not know, that the "old testament" is the tenoch. slightly different book order, same writings.

christians, muslims, jewish people, worship the same god. different names for god, some god, same base. if you make jokes about christianty willy-nilly, you're going to accidentally hit someone else. and even if you don't, you may hurt someone still.

it doesn't hurt because i think it's "sacrilegious" or i think you're going to hell. it hurts because my community doesn't care. my community doesn't see the nuance in people and decided a specific religion is the enemy. a specific group of people is the enemy. ive been marked as the enemy

it's casual jokes to you, to me it's making fun of my god

listen, by all means make fun of the assholes. i make fun of them every day. millionaires who use privet jets than preach and love to overlook the many verses condemning the rich and saying rich people don't go to heaven. people saying that as a woman of god you shouldn't enjoy sex. weirdos online and irl that seem to think patorizing random people will get them to church. dumb white people. it's great. fuckn. mormons and jehovah's witness leaders who are straight up running a cult based on a thread of the original intention. and it's funny because they're the assholes.

but don't attack the base religion itself. understand that the religion isn't inherently harmful, certain branches, beliefs, misinterpretations, and leaders certainly are. but please be kind to the people who are normal

before you make a post saying you're gonna. i dont know 'kill the uncaring god' that you're hurting people like me, any abrahamic religion, anyone who believes in a god possibly. also that's basically my parent, it's like you're insulting my awesome mom to my face bc my older sibling sucks. like thats just mean to her for no reason.

i'm just. tired. im stuck in the middle and i hate that i have to make this post because like. this is my home and my people and im tired of seeing this shit from my peers and family. just. have nuance. care about people. don't just say shit about a religion if you don't know its true.

im tired.

[scribl1ta]

Thank you @headinmud😘😘some books I want to read in 2025 (I don't think I have 9 lol).

sorry if I also skip specific tags.... please share any favorite books or recommendations though!! As you will see below I've already started/mostly finished almost everything here <3

Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin

The only totally new book on the list😭my little sister recommended it to me and I've heard great things about the author so I am super excited to read it!! My literary horizons are pretty small ranging from about 500 BCE-250 CE so I trust my sisters to tell me what's good after that. And over my gap year I did this translation symposium thing and one of the students read a very beautiful and striking passage she'd translated from this book too.

The Injester by Ugo Tognazzi

Found in a bookstore in my city for $21, too much money for a book that's mostly recipes, so I am going to try and get it from the library and decide if I really want to own it since monsieur Tognazzi remains silent on his most notable and (in)arguably gayest role as Trimalcione. How one could leave that out of a book about food and movies is so heartbreaking, society still has so far to go #StopHate

Hadrian and the Cities of the Roman Empire by Mary T. Boatwright

This book is amazing and I've been relying on it so much for my screenplay :) I finally got a hard copy for christmas!!! I've been skipping around a lot so I don't have much to say on the reading experience but in terms of content it is truly invaluable, and the style is very precise and clear! I have trouble finding information on Athens during the Hadrianic era specifically so to have so much in one place is a Godsend.

肉蒲團/The Carnal Prayer Mat by Li Yu

I never really followed up on my Classical Chinese sidequest (now main quest??) last summer but this is how I'm using it so I don't forget too much, and hopefully get to do some research with a really cool professor I met this past semester while I was abroad🥰the book is not classical really, but I lost too many brain cells trying to explain the Chinese language on any level to my other, 老外classics professors so I won't repeat myself at the moment.

On the Set of Fellini Satyricon by Eileen Lanouette Hughes

I already started this book but I have to pace myself and make sure to actually read everything instead of always skipping to the cast photos🥸there are a lot of amazing stories in this book, definitely more than Dario Zanelli's (which is still a good one to read & focuses more on the concept behind the film), but there were a few places where the author is pretty condescending to the women she interviews, way more than the men... nevertheless a must read for you cultured besties.

Raptor by Gary Jennings

I am almost done with this book! I randomly bought it because it was cheap and looked fun and pulpy. It has a really strong concept but it's not executed on the same level imo. It's about a Gothic warrior who is born intersex and raised as a boy and as a girl, but eventually (perhaps obviously given the society) just lives as a man and as a woman only when it's convenient. The author brings up the character (Thorn)'s complex feelings towards his gender but doesn't truly explore them in a way that feels meaningful and especially that feels sympathetic to intersex people and to women. There is a lot of thorough historical detail but as much feels misplaced and it does have a reddit atheist/epicurean tone to it lmao.

I bought some books over the semester that I want to read but I don't have them at hand right now so I sadly don't remember exactly what they are called😟I might also read more of The Golden Ass in Latin for a research thing. I lost my commentary on Lucian's True Story which is so terrible👎🏻I don't know what to do I could barely read it WITH the commentary. I am also still considering coming back to Kate Quinn's Daughters of Rome series. It is SO well done, so well researched, I literally couldn't put down the first two books, and then the third... Sigh.... just when we had the perfectly paced, stylish, woman-centered historical series... I have so many thoughts on everything from the backstory she gave Antinous (mildly irritating) to the level of misogynistic treatment MISS VIBIA SABINA endures at the hands of her supposed "love interest" male author-OC (the word: NEFAS). She would not stand for being called a bitch every paragraph BY. A. M*N. THAT IS NOT MY AUGUSTA🤬🙅‼️

[bapydemonprincess]

Poetry

Prince Soma knows he is gifted in many things these English boys are just learning. From Maths to History, to Cricket and Latin, to painting portraits and learning various instruments.

But being in the Scarlet Fox House also means unique separate assignments via the House Master.

And this time their House Master has insisted:

"I want all of you to write the most romantic poem you can, from your own words! Your own heart and soul! No cheating and copying anyone famous, now."

And this is one thing the Prince finds himself stuck on.

He certainly didn't mind all the lovely romantic stories and poetry so far that the housemaster assigned, but...

Having to make up his own poem about something romantic??

He just.. doesn't get it.

A big thing Soma assumes is maybe there is a language issue. Do English consider romance that important? Do they define it differently here??

Soma knows most of his fellow House mates, especially Redmond and Maurice, but he has a feeling they both might be too busy these days to help him.

And the House Master himself is a good fellow, fun and amusing to listen to. He keeps Soma at attention very well!

But...

"Oh, what is there not to get, Your Majesty?? It is ROMANCE! It is what everyone, man and woman, eventually find! One day YOU will join one of those lucky sorts, especially with your culture back home, I'm sure, and become a KING with a QUEEN!"

....

Soma needs to find someone else to help him with this. There has to be someone.. maybe in another House??

He... is terrified of going near Violet Wolf House. He would only go to those guys in the most desperate of times!!

He knows damn well there's a reason Green Lion House doesn't have anything to do with poetry...

And finally he finds himself at Sapphire Owl House.

And almost is tempted to even try Ciel for a question even if he knows that boy likely doesn't care about anything romantic.

When suddenly Ciel's butler is coming around a corner!

A strange noise leaves the Prince and he is frozen, unable to take another step forward.

And "Mister Michaelis" also stops just after he'd come around the corner, staring right back.

"...Prince? Whatever are you-"

"I-I GOT LOST, I'M SORRY, I'LL-"

Suddenly he's in front of him, hand pressing to the Prince's mouth.

"Prince, stop yelling, your majesty, it's too early still for such theatrics."

The sweat drenched prince nods in agreement.

And Sebastian cautiously removes his hand.

"Now, why are you here? If you are looking for young m- ah, Phantomhive, he is doing class work at the moment."

"Well, um, I..."

Soma screams at himself WHY IS HE BOTHERING, JUST GO MAKE UP ANYTHING FOR THE POEM AND TURN IT IN.

"I was.. wondering if.. you could help me with.. an assignment...?"

"Hmm? Whyever me? I am the Blue House Master, not the Red-"

"BUT THIS ASSIGNMENT WAS CONFUSING AND NOBODY IN MY DORM GETS WHY, THEY THINK IT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT FROM HERE, BUT-"

"Prince you are yelling again.."

"Augh, I'm sorry- I'm sorry I'm just so frustrated, I thought I could handle poetry and I have so far, but this.."

"What is it they want?"

The Prince bows his head, as if ashamed, and shuts his eyes tight as if he cannot bare to see the reaction to his next words.

"I need to write a poem.. about.. romance. Something.. romantic."

....

Everything is so quite. So quite the prince almost fears Sebastian left.

But he finally does look up...

And sees...

The butler looking deep in thought.

He is looking away over at the glass windows, eyes away into space. Thoughtful about this.

His eyebrows even go down.

...Confused??

"Hmm, well, the idea of "romance" is a very common topic when it comes to poetry. Especially here, for the English have so loved to romanticize even the most ghastly unromantic things..."

Soma is confused again.

"What?"

Is all he can say.

The butler lets out one of his rare chuckles, and smiles back down at the prince.

"Romance is not originally about love, your majesty. No matter what these h- ahem, English men try to put in your mind. Romance is a concept, indeed that humanity has thought of, but it has been used to describe so much more than the concept of falling in love."

".....Huh??"

Is again all the prince can answer with.

"Prince Soma, remember the day you first came here to Britain. What was that first excursion like? Do you recall how you felt?"

"....It.. was snowing when Agni and I finally took to the streets. I.. I was finally able to see snow for the first time."

Soma started to smile.

"It was so beautiful, in the dark of night, seeing this soft white stuff cover roofs and streets, while street lights glowed brightly. The way it was so small, but there was so much of it. Softer than sand! Lovelier! Prettier! And then we saw how everyone reacted to it. Children and mothers running briskly along. Horse drivers rushing to go faster to get to their destinations. The guffs of air from the people's mouths and from even the horses snorting and whinnying. And-"

Sebastian hand his hands gently on the boys shoulders.

"That, Prince Soma, is romantic."

The prince's eyes blew open wide.

"The joy of your first experience seeing snow. A moment that only happened once. You can never experience that same exact feeling ever again. It is a beautiful moment. Only for you. it is yours. That is the true concept of romanticism."

"I- I..."

Soma pushed the butler's hands off him at once.

"I MUST GO WRITE!!! THAT- THAT ISN'T THE ONLY MOMENT- I MUST GO DESCRIBE SO MUCH MORE!!!"

Sebastian smiled and waved.

"Enjoy your writing, your majesty," He called.

And the prince practically fell over, trying to stop himself.

To turn back and wave wildly to Ciel's Butler and grin.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!"

And Sebastian just smiled wider.

The poetry reading turned out brilliaintly.

In fact.. it seemed to go even better than Soma imagined.

He'd doubted all the way that his writing would meet up to the House Master's expectations, given what the man had been going on about regarding what he thought romance was.

But next thing the Prince knew, after his reading...

He was facing an entire classroom of crying, sobbing young men, as well as the House Master himself.

"BRAVO, Kadar, BRAVO!!" the House Master gushed, and stood from his desk to give a standing ovation.

And the other boys followed suit!

... Well, Maurice stayed sitting, arms crossed, refusing to look forward even though Soma HAD definitely seen tears escaping down his cheeks... in the color of his eye make up, no less...

And Soma grinned.

Yeah, this school sure was fun!

[your--isgayrights]

Seeing your answered ask about metas makes me want to share this list someone made about ORV’s literary references: https://twitter.com/Jomeimei421/status/1806147303004336632

I think this same person also said something about ORV being a blend of low-brow fiction and high-brow literature and I agree. I would like to see a legitimate academic paper referencing or breaking down ORV, and now that I think about it, maybe this has already happened and I just don’t know how to find something like that.

This list is honestly such a great resource, thanks for sharing :)))) <3333

I would add the samguk yusa and samguk sagi to this list tho, even though the references might count as 'myths' or an oral tradition that's the nature of the older historical texts. I think I have a couple breakdowns of the references to the Samguk yusa, a post about ljh's name and the historical ancestors referenced, and some stuff about JttW.

In the concept of high brow and low brow, I agree that ORV is very good at being like very respectful of anything that is a 'story' and I think good at portraying the sort of 'character' that some genres or reading types represent. I think one of my posts is definitely about how the KDJ relationship with his mom is very representative of the sort of evolution of webnovel culture out of classical literature and trauma literature scenes in the sort of 'professional,' established Korean publishing. Also as a Naruto guy I really respect the JttW arc for being like 'hey all middle grade action stories and shounen a little bit comes from JttW tbh.' I also think the premise of ORV is great as sort of the natural conclusion to like American gods or Rick Riordan type justifications for all religions being true bc people believe them: ok, then here's also one man's favorite anime boy being real because he believes in him and he's actually going to punch God now. Oh also a literary reference I guess is that metatron and etc are from the Talmud rabbinic scriptures. Though I think myths about him are mostly from kabbala / oral tradition (which stems from Judaism but even now there are Jewish people who think it's very wrong to call them Jewish beliefs. Part of that is probably that in more modern history kabbala has partially been developed and sort of appropriated by non-jewish people in a way that is kind of similar to orientalizing / mysticizing the more 'normal' Judaic beliefs practiced by wider Jewish communities ((think tiktokkers who are like I Am a Witch doinG Qabala but actually she's basically just writing creepypasta in her brain about things other people actually believe in that she knows nothing about)). At the same time, there is kabbala that naturally developed from people Jewish faith in the same way orphism or other 'occult' beliefs developed out of governmentally/societally enforced/accepted Greek and Roman religions throughout history. Fun fact: Sefer ha-bahir is apparently an influential text in the development of og kabbala and apparently literally describes the idea of transmigration so that is fun.)

Ok besides the historical stuff the media on the list I'm actually exposed to is just Han Kang and then Naruto (I watched some of one piece in middle school but retained very little of it tbh I just know who some of the guys are. Actually I just had a dream where I complimented a guy's one piece shirt and then he asked me if I liked the anime and I had to be like oh... No).

I did some research on YSA's reading 'taste' though and I think it's very fitting because they're realistic books with "literary value" that are like very relevant to society but obscure enough that you wouldn't make up reading them just to impress someone, unlike Han Myungoh claiming 'art of war' is his fave book (that's another lit reference in there somewhere I think? I just remember finding it fitting... It's the type of fit for business men who want to seem macho and smart but actually don't enjoy reading at all... I would say if they said three kingdoms was their favorite I would at least believe they read it or saw an adaptation but like art of war just isn't really a Story it's more like self help? Like there are stories but they're showing 'lessons' about war lol.)

[penroseparticle]

irreplaceable rant? to the left to the left

My irreplaceable rant is essentially:

When Beyonce wrote Irreplaceable it was like a giant stepping on an ant. Even in 06 she was shaping up to be a Juggernaut. B'Day launched at number 1 I believe? She was blowing up. Well established, producing bop after bop after banger after banger. And We bought Irreplaceable because we, fully, were on board. Beyonce COULD have another you in a minute. The mythos of Beyonce was taking shape. She was Beyonce, you were some guy. To the left.

When she wrote Lemonade it was like. Oh there are stakes now because whether you think Jay Z is great or not or a garbage dude or whatever, he's at least closer to her level than just "some guy".

Like. Of course she could have another you in a minute if you were some dude. But could she have another Jay Z in a minute? No, categorically she could not, and to say otherwise is to tell yourself fun lies because you hate cheaters or men or whatever. I am a firm believer that Beyonce is one of a kind and cannot be replicated in our lifetime as a cultural phenomenon, artist, creator, singer, you name it she is. incredible. But I'm also not going to pretend Jay Z wasn't in some ways just as singularly, powerfully monolithic with popculture just because most of this website understands rap less.

She writes the Sistine Chapel about him because like it or not, she wants to. She looks at him and sees things you could only dream of creating and I for one am just happy to be here, and could care less what you think about Beyonce's specialist boy who is the catalyst of some of the best music I've heard in the past decade, and also someone who MADE some of the best music I've heard in the past 20 years as well.

Beyonce's first solo recording was 03 Bonnie and Clyde, btw. As in, she was a feature on a Jay Z song before even releasing Dangerously in Love. Which. Also prominently has a Jay Z feature. In the lead single. That arguably launched Beyonce's career. Why would she ever write songs about the man who helped her launch her career that she has been married to for 16 years. A damn mystery.

And for the record, if she wanted to make the most beautiful art in the world about literal garbage, so the fuck what. We hate Duchamps The Fountain on this website now? Irving Penn spent years taking extremely detailed, well composed photos... of actual trash. Like Mud Glove. His photos were hanging in the Smithsonian a few years ago. Turns out beautiful art that says something, even something about trash? Still beautiful.

[uglydollyboy]

What do I feel for him¿ I get that question all the time so I decided to make a post about it. If you want, you can read it completely.

~Dennis Nilsen~

First of all, who is Dennis¿

Dennis Andrew Nilsen was a serial killer known as the Kindly Killer, The Muswell Hill Murderer and the Killer Of The Tie.

He murdered atleast 12 young men until 1983

He liked to be called "Des" by people and he worked as a police officer and a Civil Servant. He died in prison at the age of 72 years old in may 2018 in pain because of internal bleeding. He has a book, his autobiography "The History Of A Drowing Boy" and he has another book written by Brian Masters called "Killing For Company"

He had a dog named Bleep, who was put down after his arrest and he even had budgies named Hamish and Tweetles. And apparently he had a cat too called DD

I wanna clear out that I won't call him "Des" because I don't think he'll let me, or I even deserve to call him Des

Now that you have simple information, I'll put how he was.

Dennis was a very VERY romantic person. If you analize who he was by reading his book and seeing his views on some things and more, you'll notice that he was a romantic, profound, poetic, gentle and unique man. Not to mention handsome as well

He used to love music, cinema and arts. He loved the movie Psycho, loved classical music and loved a painting called "The Raft Of The Medusa"

He was a very intelligent man¡ He was very smart, he had a lot of culture in different stuff. He was a gentle and loving man because of how he acted with the bodies.

Dennis would keep the bodies and the difference with Jeff Dahmer was that Dennis would sleep, dress up, undress and even talk to the bodies. One of his victims had suicide marks on his wrists, and after getting killed by Dennis, one of the things Nilsen thought was that nobody was able to hurt him anymore.

Dennis NEVER had sex with a dead body, the only thing he did was please himself without even touching the body.

Dennis was (you can confirm this by many documentaries) known as a boring guy who had no social life and if he had an idea, he would repeat it over and over and over again.

His views are so profound and so beautiful, changes your point of view on that specific thing immediately

Now that you know that, Let's talk about my twitter.

I used to think that he was just another serial killer and that's it. How stupid I was...

He became the love of my life after I find out who he actually was thanks to someone in twitter, but by the time I find out who he was I was already in a shit position.

I made fun of him and I even talked about how I wanted to fuck him, which made that person in Twitter kinda hate me for all of those ridiculous things I said and posted about.

It was too late, I was stupid enough to disrespect who he was. It's okay to make jokes about him, but not the way I did. What I did is unforgivable.

Now with that out of the way. To finish this whole yap, This is how I feel.

I am in a very deep love with Dennis Nilsen. You did not get it wrong. I'm in love with a serial killer.

I'm in love with a serial killer. Did I cross the line there¿

He is a big part of me, I never felt such deep love and affection for someone, it might seem fake what I say, no need to remind me.

But believe me please, I feel so bad for what I did, making fun of him and more. Please... I'm deeply sorry for that.

I'm so fucking stupid for thinking that he was just one more serial killer. You have no idea how guilty and bad I feel for not sending him just one letter.

If I just knew him before... the letters I would've sent... I cry and wish every night to dream with him but It doesn't work. NOTHING WORKS. Even hugging my pillow every single night

I'm so fucking stressed about this, mostly with the fact that he would hate me if he was alive. I am not a biological boy with blonde straight hair and blue eyes, doll looking and with a lot of culture in music and cinema

I'm an ugly person who thinks he is a boy. I would SACRIFICE, I want to sacrifice who I am just for him to like me as a person or friend atleast.

I keep suffering for a dead man that would never like me no matter how much I change, how much I try. He will never like me as much as he would like Zeynep.

I try and try and try to get into his things. But still, that won't make me a better person.

If I could just see him one more time, That's enough for me. Hearing his voice one more time it's enough as well.

He would think I'm such a cry baby and a loser for the things I feel. But atleast he has an opinion of me.

I'm desperate to get something of him, just to feel like he is here again. I have lots of pictures of him in my room, all put around my bed and wall, thinking that he is listening to me talking or doing something else. But reality is that... No. He is not here.

My eyes are swollen from crying last night and my voice is shit for screaming how much I love him all the time. If I just knew him before, I would've sent all those letters I have. Even if he didn't reply to them, atleast I sent them to him, right¿

I know that he hates me, no need to remind me. But I still can't help the fact that I adore him with all my heart. All my friends and family are TIRED of me saying how much I love him.

I... I just want him to read my letters, see me and tell me what he thinks of me. But that's not possible anymore.

I'm currently crying while writing this, sorry Dennis because I'm such a cry baby and a loser.

I spoke to my psychologist about Dennis because I'm confused, I don't know if my love for him is good or bad, so she told me to make a list with good and bad things about loving him. Currently I keep doing that list

I'll keep updating this probably until I'm satisfied, one more time. I'm sorry for all the things I did and said about him, I'm sorry if I annoy you all the time. I understand if you don't wanna be friends with me.

If you reached this part, woah, thank you for reading. I love you

[ehlnofay]

I have been thinking about Nordic childhood traditions lately. As far as they go, I only found that young men in the Old Holds hunt ice wraiths in the dead of winter as a claim to full status as citizens, and that Nordic names are chosen based on omens and given in a special ceremony when a child is young. I'm interested in your thoughts on the childhood traditions of the Nords. Would they differ from hold to hold? How different would they be in a more cosmopolitan hold like the Reach compared to one of the Old Holds where the Old Ways still thrive, such as Dawnstar? Would traditions be different between young boys and young girls? What if a child were to grow up sheltered? What would they be missing out on during their childhood?

hmm, interesting question… I think most ritualised traditions pertaining to childhood are about growth and moving from one state to another, so your question is making me think mostly about coming-of-age traditions. the ice wraith thing is obviously an example of this, but not one that would be super accessible in most of skyrim, and though I can imagine it still being practised in some communities I imagine others might consider it archaic (the source for that one dates to the second era iirc, so definitely not a contemporary observation!) I wonder what other kinds of practices might stand in its place… skyrim is harsh country and socio-culturally speaking I think nords value both knowing the land and how to manage it and protecting the hearth and home. durability and community are prized and rites of passage into adulthood would need to exemplify these ideals. I’ll keep pondering this… might be fun to try to figure out what these traditions might be

(I do imagine that there are visual changes before and after earning adulthood – there are probably garments that only children wear and vice versa. and I don’t think people begin to braid and decorate their beards until they’ve recognised as an adult. they can have one beforehand, it just has to be boring. so beard care is often a point of pride)

and I DEFINITELY believe that there’s enormous variation between the traditions of different holds. not least because the environments that shape them are so different (the swamps of morthal prompt different ways of interacting with the world around you than the snow-clad pale or the mountains of the reach)… imperialisation is also a massive factor. skyrim as we see it in-game is so heavily influenced by the empire that despite the whole civil war occurring over Nord Lands and Nord Traditions and Nord Beliefs, there is exactly one character shown who gives a rat's ass about any of the old gods, or how they've been overwritten by cyrod interpretations. now I do think the game is just wrong about that and there are definitely more people who feel that way, but even so - one has to assume it's affected how traditional milestones and rites of passage are perceived and celebrated. religious traditions in particular would have had a hard time sticking around as skyrim became more used to the imperial pantheon. cities, being generally more cosmopolitan, more crowded, more imperialised, and kind of seen as separate from the land, are probably where these traditions have become rarest and altered the most (there isn't always the right cultural backdrop for them - there often just isn't space). they’re still there, just different.

(whether there’s any difference between the traditions of boys and girls – I honestly don’t know what to think! tes is in such a weird place gender-wise because it feels like the writers tried to create a world without sexism, or at least in which it was negligible, but then did exactly zero reflection on what the ramifications of that would be on anything ever. I can’t really tell if the social roles there might be different, or how, because the game never says that the roles are different but it also never really challenges player expectations either. so I respectfully bow out of answering that one because it confuses me)