#I'm reminded why I disliked him so much to begin with | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gothcsz · 4 months ago

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imagine javier peña as a pornstar holy shit-

Summary: You're a camerawoman that shoots pornos. Javi's the pornstar you can't stand. So why is it that you're so affected by him during this honeymoon scene between him and his co-star?

Tags: smut, voyeurism(?), unprotected p in v sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), no use of Y/N, reader doesn't fuck javi in this i'm sorry, yes it's steve murphy as the sound guy, unbeta'd asf we're here for the dirty vibes, other shit i’m probably forgetting.

A/N: well my beloved, this spiraled into something i wasn't expecting but i hope you enjoy, hehe 🖤 shoutout to my lovely mutual @almostempty for summoning the threesome demon that inspired me to finish this.

You’re not a prude. Sex isn’t aversive to you. And you suppose it can’t be considering what it is that you do for work.

A camerawoman for dirty films. Not a director, just the lucky girl that points and shoots. It’s not a bad gig, even though sometimes you do wish it paid a little more. Then you’d be able to drop your bartending job.

Recording people fucking all day then tending the bar all night, you rarely ever have time for yourself or any of the hobbies that you’ve attempted to start but haven’t nurtured simply because there aren’t enough hours in the day.

During your downtime, you’re either sleeping or tending to your shit apartment that’s conveniently located above Lucky’s–– your night job. The only reason you can afford to live in Los Angeles is because of the cheap rent there and well, beggars can’t be choosers.

You hit the button on the elevator, currently taking you to the sixth floor of the surprisingly nice hotel the production company has booked a room in for tonight’s shoot.

Once you make it to room 606, you’re greeted by Steve, the sound guy. “You’re early.”

“Daddy got us a new toy and I wanted to test it out before we shot.” There’s a playful smile on your lips as you carefully show off the brand new camera bag with the device inside.

Steve whistles lowly, stepping aside to let you into the room. Looks very typical. Nice, grand bed in the center of the space. Desk, television stand, blah blah blah, and a bar cart.

You suavely make your way towards it, eyeing the small bottles that littered the glass top.

“Surprised you even got that thing. He’s as cheap as they come.”

You shrug, uncapping the small Fireball plastic bottle and swiftly downing it, the burn familiar and taste delicious. “I know, but considering how much money we’re making him, maybe he’s starting to realize our worth.”

You both share a knowing look then laugh. As if. That man would find any way to cut a corner. It’s honestly surprising how well his pornos do.

“Who are we shooting today?” You ask casually, beginning to set out the camera and all its attachments neatly on the desk.

“Lexxie Gold and…” He trails off, lanky form walking over to where his equipment is half set up, pulling out a tattered notebook that he flips through until he lands on the intended page. “Javier Peña.”

You can’t help the grimace that crosses over your face. Great. You’ve shot Peña a few times, each with a story that reminds you how much you dislike the guy.

Sure he seems to be a good fuck— but man was he cocky, annoying, and so damn full of himself.

Just because you have the biggest dick in the world, doesn’t mean you have to act like one.

“How fun.” Your sarcasm isn’t lost on the blonde man across from you and he doesn’t press— knowing you don’t get along with the star.

You curiously start messing around with the camera, flitting through its different settings, taking random videos of Steve as he finishes setting up while you chastise him playfully from the other side.

Your fucking around is disrupted by a heavy knock on the door then the familiar voice of your boss and the director, Robbie, and you let him in with a brief hey.

The scene is simple enough: a honeymoon. How romantic. He wants to focus on close ups, hence why he bought the new camera.

“Gotta show them how pretty and erotic it really is.”

“I don’t really think they’re watching for the riveting cinematography.”

He shoots you a look and you raise your arms defensively before shrugging your shoulders and getting back to making some last minute camera adjustments.

Steve helps you finish dressing the place up, making the hotel room look like a lover’s getaway. Rose petals everywhere, moody lighting, it helps that the sun has fully set to really set the scene.

Not long after do Lexxie and Javier show up, his arm thrown around her shoulders, seemingly having met up on the ride up the elevator. She’s giggling over something he’s whispered in her ear, pushing at his chest playfully.

You suppose that’s why he’s so good at what he does— that goddamn charisma that seems to charm the underwear off of any woman, hell even some men, that cross his path.

His chemistry with his co-stars is what’s made him so popular in the industry. Aside from his appearance: cut jaw, full and fitting pornstache, golden lean body and nice cock; Javier ate pussy like his life depended on it and fucked women into oblivion— he usually ended up leaving set with one on his arm.

You remember one time his prowess had been so magnetizing, that he ended up taking the makeup artist home. The fucking makeup artist.

But things with you are different, somehow. You can feel it, he can too. Maybe it’s because you’re a no bullshit type of person that just shows up to do your job then you’re out.

In the beginning, he had attempted to flirt with you, but you weren’t really in the market to reciprocate.

A shock to anyone who meets him because what do you mean you didn’t jump at the chance to be charmed by Javier Peña?

You don’t mix business with pleasure, no matter if the pleasure seems to outweigh the business.

And since then he’s made it his life’s mission, it feels like, to push your buttons until you’re lit up like a fucking soundboard.

The flirting, petty comments, sometimes weaponized incompetence just to get you to move the camera into a more desirable position for him— yeah it really irks you.

With it being a simple, smaller shoot today: it’s only you, the director, Steve and the two stars in the room.

As Lexxie finishes doing some last minute touch ups in the bathroom, Steve and Robbie head out to the balcony for a quick smoke, leaving you in the room with Javier as he checks his appearance in the full-length mirror by your equipment.

The shoot is starting with them already half undressed, so he’s got an unbuttoned white collared shirt on, his toned chest on full display, with a pair of dress pants hanging low on his hips. He’s not wearing underwear, so you get a peek of the prominent V of his pelvis and the enticing trail of dark hair leading below the fabric.

Goddamn him.

“Lookin’ like somethin’ crawled up your ass and died, sweetheart. All good?” He asks, no real concern in his voice but the typical condescending tone he uses when he speaks to you.

You ignore him, wiping off the lens of your camera, lowkey wanting to down another small bottle of liquor.

“It’s rude not to speak when you’re spoken to.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m not exactly thrilled to have your balls slapping against my new camera.”

He smirks at the bite in your voice, “With the amount of times you’ve seen my sack, I figured you’d be used to that by now.” You roll your eyes and bite your tongue because he’s right and that wasn’t the best retort you could have given him.

You’ll admit, sometimes his attractiveness throws you off and that only pisses you off further.

“New camera, huh?” His eyes meet yours in the reflection, thick brows raising in amusement, “Honored to be the one to christen it. ‘Specially with Lexxie.” He whistles lowly, brown eyes flickering over to the cracked door of the bathroom, “She’s a sexy little thing, isn’t she?”

You ignore him again so you don’t get tongue tied by trying to outwit him, breathing out a sigh of relief when Steve and your boss reenter and the older man begins to throw out orders for everyone to follow.

“I want this to feel real. Aside from the close ups, I need some filthy, dirty talk. Sell it, make those horny bastards bust their load over the believable newlyweds.”

Lexxie is leaning against the doorway to the bathroom, a beautiful white lingerie set on her curvy body, obscured by a silk robe.

You’re both jealous of her for looking so goddamn pretty and jealous of Javier for having the pleasure of getting to fuck her.

“We’re not amateurs, Robbie.”

Okay, so maybe Javier isn’t all that bad and you do tend to overreact sometimes.

It’s just hard not to, he has a penchant for getting under your skin like no other. Kind of like the annoying boys you used to go to high school with that would relentlessly tease you for being you.

No time to project your insecurities. You’re at work, you remind yourself, listening intently as your boss turns to you and begins to describe how he wants you to shoot the scene.

Intimate. Very. Intimate.

He yells action and the scene begins to play out naturally.

Lexxie stands by the window, her white silk robe loosely tied around her waist, revealing glimpses of her smooth, brown skin. The moonlight accentuates her curves, making her look like a vision of desire against the backdrop of the shimmering city.

Javier watches her from the bed, gaze dark with anticipation. He can’t take his eyes off her, the way the silk clings to her body, hinting at the treasures beneath.

She turns to him, a playful smile dancing on her lips, and slowly walks toward the bed, her hips swaying seductively with each step.

Steve holds the boom mic above them, out of the camera’s view, as you follow Lexxie’s movements with careful precision, zooming in on her long legs then panning up to her thick thighs.

As she reaches the bed, she unties the belt of her robe, letting it fall open. Javier licks his lips, the outline of his cock prominent against the fabric of his pants.

She climbs onto the bed, straddling his hips, her hands gliding over his chest.

“I’ve been waiting all day to get you alone.” Her voice is a sultry whisper as she traces her fingers along Javier’s jawline. “I can’t believe we’re finally here, just you and me.”

There’s a lopsided smile on his lips, large hands sliding around her waist, pulling her closer. “You look incredible, baby. Couldn’t take my eyes off you all night. My pretty wife.”

She leans in, her breath warm against his ear. “Tell me what you want. I want to hear you say it.” Her words are a teasing challenge, her teeth biting down on his earlobe.

He groans softly, hands roaming over her curves. “I want to touch you, taste you. Feel you shiver under my hands, hear you moan my name.” His voice drops to a near-growl. “I want to make you mine, over and over again.”

You’re on the bed with them, knees digging into the comforter as you hold the camera at eye level, the small screen that extends from it giving it that grain that makes it look even more erotic.

All of this is beginning to feel too intimate but you block that out, even if it’s fucking hard to. This is what your boss wanted, anyways.

You feel your clit pulsing, heat pooling at your core as you watch them and it’s infuriating.

She smiles, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she kisses him deeply, her tongue dancing with his and you make sure to get a good shot of it. “Then take me. Show me why I married you.” She pulls back slightly, her gaze locked with his.

He pulls her closer, his lips capturing hers in another passionate and hungry kiss. They’re absolutely unbothered by your presence.

“I’m going to worship every inch of you.” His tone is thick with promise, bringing his hand up to wrap around her neck. “I want to hear you scream for me, break that little throat then soothe it with my cum.”

Your breath hitches at his words and for the life of you, you don’t understand why you’re being so affected by this.

While faint, he hears your reaction and you don’t miss the subtle smirk that tugs at those pink, pouty lips of his.

“Yes. I want you. I need you. Fuck me like it’s our last night on earth.” Her words are a plea, filled with raw desire and feigning love.

A little corny, but what the hell, that’s half the appeal of these things anyway.

Their bodies press together, the heat between them palpable that you can feel it from where you are.

Her fingers tangled in Javi’s hair as she deepens the kiss, her body moving rhythmically against his.

The passion they exacerbate is undeniable, an electric charge that ropes you in as you move the camera closer, igniting your every nerve.

His skilled fingers move to pull down the cups of her bra, freeing her breasts and he uses his hold on her neck to tilt her back slightly, leaning down to wrap his lips around her stiff nipple. He suckles on it, drawing out a moan from the star on his lap as his wet tongue darts out to flick rapidly against the pebbled flesh.

He does the same to the other, you following his movements and your own nipples hardening, the friction of them rubbing up against your sports bra with each deep breath you take enough to gradually turn you on even more.

After lavishing her chest with his attention, leaving her tits glistening with a layer of his spit, he goes to kiss her again and they share more of that porny dialogue that usually makes you cringe.

But not today.

Not as you watch how they touch up on each other, the way he slowly releases his hold on her neck and she pushes the shirt off his shoulders then shimmies down his body, pulling his pants down and revealing his cock.

You’ve seen it dozens of times, it shouldn’t phase you (just as how he reminded you of earlier), but fuck— with the way you’re so heated right now by unofficially being part of this twosome, you can’t help how your mouth floods with saliva at the sight.

It’s got just the right amount of hair surrounding it, looking real heavy and swollen with arousal as she wraps her fingers around it.

You move down to get a good POV shot, bending at the waist and accidentally wagging your ass in his face.

While Lexxie begins to blow him, showcasing her skill to the camera, Javier’s eyes are glued to your ass and how good it looks in the jean shorts you’re wearing.

You can feel it, his stare heavy as lead, as one of his hands comes down to make a makeshift ponytail of the woman’s curly hair while the other just barely grazes the back of your thighs.

If you weren’t so hyper aware of his touch, you would have missed it. Your hips involuntarily moving subtly and you play it off as you shuffling to get more comfortable to record the oral he’s currently receiving.

Sounds of her gagging and his grunts fill the room. Steve’s brows are furrowed in concentration, picking up every single thing and you pray that he doesn’t hear how ragged your breathing has become.

You didn’t even notice it until the camera in your hand started shaking just a little.

So unprofessional, this shoot is gonna haunt you for weeks.

But Robbie doesn’t seem to mind, and you wonder if you’re the problem with how Steve and him seem to be so locked in while you’re sitting here, all hot and bothered, trying not to think of Javier despite seeing his spit slick cock slipping in and out of her mouth so filthily.

The director orders them to switch and you try not to be too hasty when you move off the bed, allowing the couple to do as they’re told.

You avoid Javier’s eyes, the ones looking for yours, as he settles in between Lexxie’s spread legs.

He comments on how wet she is, tongue darting out to lick his lips as he begins to kiss her over the lacy fabric of her fancy panties.

There’s an obvious wet spot from both her slick and his saliva. You alternate, panning the camera from his ministrations, up her gorgeous body, then to capture the look of pure fucking bliss on her face.

She squeezes her tits, moaning obscenely as he pulls her underwear to the side and begins to suck and lick at her pussy— wet sounds of his lips smacking against her folds and clit has your own cunt dripping and the rough fabric of your jean shorts rubbing against your underwear is just embarrassingly pleasurable.

It’s like you can feel his tongue on you as it flicks over her flesh, her arousal coating his face and dampening his mustache.

Javier begins to finger her and the director urges you to get a closer shot of it, which you do and it has you so close to their intimacy; you can smell her pussy.

Your thighs clench.

She cums all over his fingers and he pulls back, traversing up her body slowly, his lips marking their path until he’s kissing her messily again before shoving those sinewy digits into her mouth, and she expertly cleans them off, not breaking eye contact with him.

You lick your lips, practically tasting her, and they’re directed to start off in missionary then end in doggy.

“Put her head on your lap, get a shot of her tits down with his torso in view. Lexxie, scream his name like it’s the best cock you’ve ever had inside you.”

“Won’t be hard to do. It is the best I’ve had.”

You roll your eyes at the smug smile that tugs at Javier’s lips at her words, that statement enough to calm you down as you shift into the optimal position, her head on your lap as Javier strokes his dick and rids her of her panties, leaving her with the cups of her bra still below her tits and the garter belt on her waist.

The white stockings brush up against his thighs as he hitches her legs up on his hips.

He begins to fuck her, each thrust sending her further up your body and you grip onto your camera as you zoom in on the way her body moves, her back arching and needy whimpers pushing past her plump, glossy lips.

Your eyes are glued to the small screen, his toned body looking like a sculpture and a thin sheen of sweat making him glow.

Yeah, this tape is going to fucking sell.

“Get over here and get a shot of her pretty pussy when I push her legs up.” Javier instructs you and you can’t help but drop your jaw at the audacity.

There’s an insult on the tip of your tongue, waiting to be lashed out but Robbie agrees and you fight the urge to fling the camera at him.

Javier senses your irritation and fucking smirks, but you pay it no mind (or at least try not to) as you move away from Lexxie, off the bed, and beside him.

He spreads her thighs and pushes her knees up to her chest, her pussy on full view as his cock continues to piston in and out of her.

It really is so hot. Usually, some stars would have to use lube to get the process going but not Javier. Never Javier.

He eats pussy so messily and knows just how to treat his girls, they’re usually fucking drenched and dripping by the time he’s ready to fuck them. He doesn’t need anything artificial to help him out.

Lexxie is moaning and spitting out pure filth as he continues to fuck her, you’re doing a good job at capturing it all.

Suddenly, Javi leans over to whisper into your ear.

“Bet you’d look just as pretty like this, nena.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, camera once more shaking slightly in your grasp and your skin warms. What the hell is his deal?

And why does the idea of being spread out like this for him suddenly so fucking enticing?

Your eyes flicker over to Steve, who both watched that little interaction happen and picked it up on his mic, an amused expression on his face.

You shoot him a look that basically translates to Don’t and he shakes his head lightly, holding back a snicker.

They’re directed to switch again, both stars getting closer to their orgasms, and you use this a chance to take a step back and fucking collect yourself. No doubt that your cunt is an absolute mess right now.

Maybe you’ll rub one out before going in tonight. That is if you have the time. Maybe if you’re not so tired after, you’ll pick up one of the men at the bar and use him to fuck Javier Peña out of your mind.

Now bent over, her ass and pussy are on full display. Javier, once more acting like he’s the goddamn director, moves aside so you can get a good shot of it. You do, bristling as he brushes against you whenever he gets back into position behind her, entering her pussy in one swift motion and beginning to fuck the shit out of her.

Jesus. Christ. It must be because of how fucking weird this shoot has been but man, is he giving it to her good.

A few delicious spanks are brought down to her ass, his large palm making the meaty flesh jiggle and he grunts loudly at how it feels against his dick.

There’s more dirty talk, him telling her how good this pussy feels and that it belongs to him now. Her doubling down and telling him that he’s the only cock she’s ever going to take.

You move below his spread legs, getting a good view of his heavy balls slapping against her clit, his precum and her arousal coating the flesh of his sack, the sound of it smacking against her is for sure going to make some poor soul release their spunk all over their keyboards or whatever it is that they’ll watch this on.

Getting more footage of their full bodies, you maneuver yourself all around the bed, knowing that when this sucker is edited together, it’s really going to feel like an intimate telling of a couple’s honeymoon night.

You’ll give it to Javi and Lexxie— they’re good at what they do.

She reaches her peak first, shouting that she’s coming and her body flails and tenses, squeezing his cock and gushing cum out of her hole.

You make the mistake of looking up at Javier, finding that he’s already staring at you and he growls, stilling inside her and filling her up with his load.

It’s like everything else melts and disappears, leaving just you two suspended in this moment. The way his brown eyes twinkle with something you can’t quite decipher has your entire body quivering and your heart beating wildly in your chest.

What the fuck is going on?

“Get the money shot!” Robbie barks at you, seeing that you’ve been lost in a fucking daze and you shake your head, snapping out of it and moving off the rose petal covered sheets, again moving next to Javier as he pulls out.

Lexxie positions herself sexily, and not long after does her pussy flutter and milky cum begins to seep out of it, an obscene squelching sound as it drips lazily onto her engorged clit then the mattress.

It’s so fucking hot, you’ll admit it. That’s the point of these things, isn’t it? To turn others on. You can’t blame yourself for the way its intended effect washes over you.

Except your mind is still hazy from how Javier had looked at you while coming inside of another woman.

The pornstar shakes her hips erotically, giggling as Javier smacks her ass.

“And cut. Great fucking job team. You guys just made me a whole lotta money.”

You quit recording, licking your lips and moving off the bed quickly, closing the camera and making a beeline to the other side of the room, not being shy about the way you snag up another travel sized bottle of Fireball and shoot it.

“Drinking on the job?” Javier tuts, walking over to you with his soft cock hanging between his legs and you do your best to not let your eyes drop down to it. He’s got an unlit cigarette hanging from between his lips. “Very unprofessional.”

Lexxie has disappeared off into the bathroom again to clean up, Steve and Robbie discussing who knows what.

“Yeah well.” You’re flustered and hate how you’re conveying it. He’s reveling in the sight of you. “I got thirsty.”

“Hmm,” he hums, gaze narrowing ever so slightly, “Camera like what it saw?”

You clench your jaw, turning from him to begin packing your stuff up. You don’t have time for this, for him. You need to leave and get ready for the bar.

“You heard Robbie— just made him a whole lotta money, so what do you think?”

“Let me rephrase that. Did you like what you saw? Like watching the way I fucked her but was thinking of you the whole time?”

You freeze, static in your brain like an interrupted television broadcast and your body feeling feverish. You need to get out of here.

“And you say I’m acting unprofessional.” You scoff, trying to act like you’re not affected by him and his stupid words and that dumb mustache and his fucking bare cock.

He snorts out a laugh, prepared to say something else to grate your nerves but you don’t give him a chance, slinging the strap of the camera bag over your shoulder and grabbing your purse, pushing past him.

“Alright, Robbie I’m out. I’ll swing by the office tomorrow and drop this off after I’ve reviewed the footage.”

You can see Javier from your peripheral, tight jeans up on his hips and moving out into the balcony to smoke.

You feel like you can breathe a little easier now.

“Sounds good. I’ll have your check for it then.”

You nod, saying bye to Steve who has a shit eating grin on his face. “You workin’ at Lucky’s tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there ‘round eleven for a beer… and to discuss whatever the fuck all that was.” He motions vaguely and you roll your eyes.

“I’d rather not.”

“S’too damn bad. I drink Michelobs, by the way.”

Your face scrunches up, “I shouldn’t let you in based on that alone.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips at his reaction, but it’s all in good fun.

This little interaction is almost enough to make you forget about… all that. Almost. The door to the balcony slides open again and you take that as your cue to get the hell outta dodge.

“Alright, whatever, I’ll see you then. Hopefully we’re not too busy.”

You say goodbye to Lexxie over your shoulder, briskly walking down the hall to the elevator, looking forward to the cold shower you’re about to take to cool down your heated skin.

#javier peña smut #javier pena smut #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #💌 you’ve got mail!

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r--kt · 7 months ago

Text

Where actually was this betrayal line for Obito that Kakashi had crossed?

about the whole "anyone got Kakashi, but not Obito" thing that @komihoyinsblog said. I remembered where the culmination of this theme was. no, like, this whole topic is real!

let's talk about the scene after when Jubito was defeated. here I will analyse kkobkk relationships and Obito's arc specifically.

contents | context · meaning of the scene · where's a mistake and where's a betrayal

CH. 655

Context

during the battle with the shinobi alliance, Obito came face to face with a deeply repressed desire for another life, which he did not realize due to his position as the only one who can fulfill the tsukuyomi plan. the battle itself as well as the conversation with Naruto reminds Obito of the aspirations and values dear to him that he had to sacrifice. all this has noticeably hit Obito and now he is disarmed and stripped of his armor, which is metaphorically reflected in his half-naked body (and cuz fans love men's boobs).

CH. 652. god, look how happy he is, I'm sobbing. love the way he never regrets about his scars, they're with him even in his imagination, that's a reminder of his core values.

structurally, in Obito's arc, this scene is the Collapse point and the end of the second act. here, the previous methods (the tsukuyomi plan) have shown their inconsistency, and the goal (peace for everyone and for him, too) has not been achieved, and he must find a new way to achieve this goal. at the beginning of the scene, he is confused, defeated and not ready to face the consequences.

why isn't he ready? he's lying there, seemingly resigned. yeah, not exactly. here, he accepted the impending death, and it's even not bad to die by Kakashi's hand to some extent. another question is, is he ready to talk to him, is he ready to accept the defeat and find the strength to continue the journey?

Meaning of the scene

once again, it is important that the battle with the alliance and the conversation with Naruto influenced Obito, but did not convince him. it was Kakashi who did it.

in fact, this conversation with Kakashi is a crucial reason for Obito to return to his ideals. before that, he was in doubt (the second act is a reflection of the character, as if hesitating from one side to the other), and after that he takes the side of the alliance. what did Kakashi say that made Obito come back?

three questions Obito is asking.

how can you be sure that Naruto won't fail on his way, unlike me? [pic 2, above]

why are you so attached to Naruto, what's the difference between him and me? [pic below]

why are you willing to help him (and not me)? [pic below]

they don't talk about different paths here. Kakashi emphasizes that Obito's path is not exactly wrong, so that's not the deal. it's about Obito and Naruto as people, and, more, about Kakashi's opinion on Obito.

finding out why he is not the one whose path Kakashi is ready to defend is essential for Obito. he wants to understand why Naruto (aka Obito's previous self, too) is closer to him, why Kakashi does not support the actual one for whom he grieved so much. why, even recognizing the possible correctness of tsukuyomi, Kakashi refuses to support Obito in this, prefers to go the same way. and also look at how damn emotional he is at this moment, his feelings go from anger to anxiety in a couple of frames. that's what happened when the central conflict "I'm never good enough to be loved" is raised.

Obito's questions are a subconscious appeal to Kakashi — "why don't you choose me? I could make you happy. what's wrong with me again?!" he thinks that the reason Kakashi doesn't take his side is not because of the correctness of his path, but because of Obito himself. subconsciously, he thinks that it's because of Kakashi's personal dislike of this "new" Obito, and he is very afraid of this might be true. just look at his face at the bottom of the page, he's really worried about hearing Kakashi's answer. oh, and it's actually the same meaning as "I thought, maybe you could love me like you used to, even though I'm different" [ Jinx's quote from Arcane, yes, I like to compare these two sometimes ].

what Kakashi says in this situation means "let me help you." Kakashi said he would be ready to help Obito if he let him in, if he allowed him. this is literally the only condition (which is important to mention here) under which Obito did not pass, because of his desire to reject Kakashi's help, believing that he must put his life on tsukuyomi plan and cut off all ties. but this does not mean that he wanted Kakashi to cut off this tie in return.

Obito was an individualist, and he only scoffed or got angry at Kakashi's offer to help/sympathize. now they're in a situation when Obito finally hear that Kakashi said "you've made mistakes, but that's okay. I can be with you, if you need me to, and I'm okay with you continuing your life and reaching peace. I accept you and I believe in you." and I want you to appreciate that this is the tipping point of Obito's arc.

so, that's why Obito changes his way of acting. Kakashi shows that he accepts Obito the way he is, and thus significantly reduces Obito's need to prove his worth through his own hardships and overcoming difficulties. yes, Kakashi had already said similar things before, and it didn't work, but here this line is resolved precisely because of this deep conversation they had.

Where's a mistake and where's a betrayal

oh, maybe Rin's death was a thing Obito considered a betrayal from Kakashi's part? everything's much less trivial. would he offer to help Kakashi if he thought he was a traitor? and well, he offered.

CH. 630

no, look at his face on the bottom right, why would you say that with such a gentle face to someone you consider a traitor? what is it, a genuine smile? so something happened besides that.

the betrayal was that Kakashi preferred his other ties to the connection with Obito. here, betrayal is not about killing Rin, and not about breaking a promise — all these are mistakes that Obito is able to forgive.

all the moments when Obito says something like "you had the opportunity to kill me, but you didn't do it", "you can't deal with me because of guilt?", "still blaming yourself for the broken promises?" - all this is an attempt to increase his own value, to show the importance of Obito for Kakashi. and it's also a projection. Obito says, "you had so many opportunities to kill me, but you..." although he does the same. like, why would he leave Kakashi alive after the kamui battle? intentionally inflict a non-fatal wound on him and leave him in a dimension that only he and Obito have access to? "I don't care if he's alive or dead," but at every opportunity he chose the option "alive", even if it's less profitable for him. my baby loves to deceive himself so much.

all this time, Obito believed that he was striving for their common dream, and therefore the condemnation from Kakashi (there should be a couple more frames from the manga) feels like the most painful blow for him, especially when Kakashi says that Rin would not want it either. before that, Obito had compared himself and Kakashi a couple of times, put them on an equal footing, and after being rejected by him, that's where Obito feels really lonely.

the point of no return was precisely the fact that Kakashi shows with his own words that he does not accept the current Obito and everything he's been striving for years. all this, taken together, he considered a betrayal, as if he's not enough, as if he fucked everything up again.

therefore, their conflict is resolved by the acceptance of one person by another, this is in fact exactly what Obito's heart wanted — to hear that he could be accepted after all that had happened. the same thing happened after his death, when he finally met Rin, by the way.

hope the text is not that messy. oh, and! that kkob video I've made with mitski's song. this fits the topic so well. love these guys

#obito uchiha #kakashi hatake #naruto shippuden #naruto #kakaobi #obikaka #team minato #kakashi #obito

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etoiile · 1 year ago

Text

CLINGY

starring suna rintaro!

synopsis: when suna pushes your hug off of him, it makes an insecurity grow.

notes: first time writing for hq! def very very ooc for him but wtv im working on it

your possibly biggest fear ever was being annoyingly clingy.

your main love language was physical touch, and you had a very clear way of showing your love and affection. any one of your friends could easily say, "yep, they're really clingy," because you were. you'd greet them excitedly with a hug, cuddle with them during movies, and sling an arm over their shoulders when sitting next to each other.

you knew that you were clingy, and it didn't bother you much. no one around you seemed to dislike it and you knew yourself how much you'd like it if someone paid that much attention to you. you felt most loved when you felt seen, and having someone shower you in hugs made you feel that way, so you did it to other people, to show them how special they were to you.

one of the things that came with being clingy, however, was fear. fear that even though it was something you knew you'd appreciate, it was something annoying to others. the last thing you ever wanted was for someone to find you annoying to be around. that sounded like an absolute nightmare.

so, when you surprised rin with a backhug and he stood there, not reciprocating your hug, and then gently shoved you off, telling you he wasn't in a good mood, not to bother him, and to please, "stop being like a fucking mosquito clinging onto him all the time," you could feel your body trembling as you quickly retreated, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

when he later apologized to you, telling you he was sorry for lashing out at you, you accepted his apology, but the insecurity still lingered.

----

suna was in a great mood.

he'd done really well at practice today, they got let out early enough that the sun was still out and shining, and he practically skipped home at the thought of coming home to your arms.

he unlocked the front door and yelled an, "i'm home," as he pulled his shoes off and set his bag down. you came over to greet him and he found his body tingling with excitement, ready to grab onto you and hold you tight.

"welcome home, rin," you smiled warmly at him, but then turned around and went back to your laptop. he stood there, dumbfounded. what just happened?

he followed you suspiciously, wondering what was going on. you always greeted him with a hug. always. why were you being different today? had you simply forgotten? no, it doesnt work like that. you didn't forget, you chose not to. why?

"...is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly. you didn't seem to be in a bad mood, so why were you acting weird?

you looked up at him, confused. "yeah? why, is something wrong?"

"yeah." he replied, plopping down next to you. "with you."

you frowned, your heart beginning to beat faster. first, you had stopped yourself from throwing your arms around him, which you so desperately wanted to do, in order to be less annoying, but there was still something wrong? what did you do? how were you still annoying him?

"...what do you mean?" you asked, trying your best to mask the nervousness in your voice. you really, really, really didn't want to be annoying. you wanted to be someone rin wanted to be around, not someone who pissed him off when he spent time with you. you really did want to work on the things he didn't like, and improve yourself for him. you braced yourself for what he might say next, reminding yourself that you can't cry just because someone brings up an issue about you.

"you didn't give me 'welcome home' hug." he muttered a little sheepishly, rubbing the bag of his neck. he looked up at you, his hazel eyes making your body feel like jelly. "did i do something wrong?"

you could feel your lower lip trembling as you tried to stop it. "..no! no, of course not. i just...thought that after what you...said yesterday, you'd want some space! i know im clingy, so im gonna work on it, ok?" you mustered out, trying to keep a smile on your face.

suna's eyes widened. he'd lashed out at you yesterday, but he'd apologized for it already, so he thought that meant you knew he didn't mean it. plus, you two were people who joked around a lot and spewed random shit all the time. he knew you knew that, so he didn't think it was on your mind and he didn't think you you thought what he said was true, because it wasn't. at all.

though, seeing as how you were struggling to keep it together, and how you hadn't welcomed him home with a hug for the first time since moving in together, he realized his words had cut deeper than he realized.

"hey," he turned to completely face you. "look at me." he gently guided your chin to meet his eyes, as you were apparently very keen on looking everywhere but him, and forced you to look at him.

"what i said last night... i didn't mean it. at all. you know i love your affection, right? i was just in a bad, bad mood yesterday, and 'm real sorry i lashed out at you because of it. i know i might be shit at expressing it right, but i love you and your clingy ass so much, and i'm sorry if it didn't seem that way. i love your touch and affection, really."

and with that, all of the fear came rushing out of you in the form of tears, and you jumped onto rin as you held him tight, your heart soaring in relief when he did the same. embarrassed to be seen, you buried your face in his chest and just sniffled silently.

"...you really mean it?"

"yeah,"

"it's not annoying? 'coz i want you to tell me if it is, and i'll work on it. really."

"it's not,"

"...you're sure?"

"i'm sure."

you then wiped your tears and giggled as you peppered his neck with kisses, laughing more when he scrunched up from the ticklish sensation.

"i love you," you said, stopping your flurry of kisses for a minute.

he gave you a boyish grin that made you melt and ran his hand through your hair. "i love you too, doll."

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

#ami writes 💌#this is ... kind of bad HAHAHA #first hq fic so im working on it!#wrote this js to get the juices flowing coz im having a hard time w my rqs #trust my next hq work will be better. promise!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #suna fluff #suna x reader #suna drabble #suna imagines

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oliversrarebooks · 2 months ago

Text

a good grade in being brainwashed: the perfect pet

tw: pet whump, bbu, dehumanization, brainwashing, memory wipe

Previous > Masterlist

"You need more than good looks to get the lead part, you know," said Toby, casually coming up behind Vinay and leaning against his chair. "That's why they'll undoubtedly go with me. No hard feelings. If you're very lucky, though, you'll get to play a supporting role in helping my star shine that much brighter."

Vinay suppressed the urge to point out that it was Toby who convinced him to sign up for theater in the first place, knowing full well that he was the idiot who let Toby talk him into things. "I'll have you know I've been practicing for this audition all week. You shouldn't assume it will be easy."

Toby sighed and rolled his eyes. "You've been practicing all week and yet you're still so stiff. Stiff as a board!" He shook Vinay lightly as if to make a point. "The lead role isn't stiff. He's adventurous. Dashing! Charismatic! And right now you look like a tired accountant three years from retiring, whose idea of adventure is to buy medium salsa instead of mild."

He scowled, because unfortunately Toby was probably right. He wasn't sure he was cut out for acting at all, and the thought of going up on the stage and delivering his monologue before a judging panel… "What do you suggest, then?"

"Here, I've got it." Toby circled around behind him and put his hands on Vinay's shoulders. "You have to let your muscles relax."

"What are you doing?" said Vinay with considerable alarm.

"I'm helping with your stiffness, obviously." Toby was kneading at his shoulders, and unfortunately for Vinay's resolve, it felt amazing.

"You're just trying to get a rise out of me."

"And even though you know that, it's still working."

Of course it was. Vinay never knew what Toby was thinking, giving him a massage in front of everyone gathered for the audition, not that anyone was really noticing.

Actually, no. Vinay knew exactly what Toby was thinking, because it was what Toby was always thinking. He wanted attention, and as usual, Vinay was a convenient source for it.

"Let all that tension out of those muscles," said Toby in a tone that might have been soothing if it weren't Toby. "Just let your mind go blank. And think about what it would be like if you weren't terminally boring."

"Thanks," said Vinay, dripping with sarcasm. "I'll do my best."

"You're so very welcome. I'm always happy to help a fellow thespian!"

Vinay knew he had to do something to take his mind off of warm hands on his shoulders, lest he start to get uncomfortable feelings for his irritating roommate. "I wanted to ask you, have you studied for organic chem yet?"

"Eh, nah. I don't need to. I see organic chem as more of an art than a science really."

"…It's very literally a science."

"So I can probably intuit all the answers. I'll be fine."

That's right, Vinay needed this reminder of how absolutely infuriating Toby could be. He didn't take anything seriously but acting and inflating his ego -- although Vinay suspected there was more going on there, a lot more.

Ever since the very first day they'd been paired together in the dorms, he had an uncanny knack for getting on Vinay's nerves. He seemed to have a supernatural ability for pushing Vinay's buttons just enough to drive him up the wall, but never quite enough that Vinay could truly dislike him. Whenever Vinay wanted peace and quiet, there he'd be, demanding attention. And whenever Vinay was lonely… well, he'd usually be there too. And perhaps that wasn't so terrible.

"You should really study after this. I'll help you."

"Hmm… I suppose I could help you study, if you really want me to. But only if we order Chinese. I can't study on an empty stomach, you know."

"Fine. Deal."

The auditorium went quiet as the director got up on stage. "All right, we're going to begin auditions. Everyone auditioning for the male lead, please head backstage now. When your name is called, you'll have five minutes to deliver your monologue."

"Oh, here we go!" said Toby, cracking his knuckles and grinning. "Time to shine!"

"Right." Vinay tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as he followed Toby backstage. He probably wasn't going first, so at least he'd have five minutes to take some deep breaths and calm down before --

"Vinay? You're up first."

Shit.

"Knock 'em dead," said Toby, clapping him on the back. "Break a leg. Break both your legs."

"What?"

"Shatter your collarbone. Suffer third degree burns to over sixty percent of your body."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Well, if breaking your leg is lucky, more injuries must be extra luck."

Vinay groaned and brushed Toby off as he walked out onto stage with a stride he hoped was confident. He turned to the front and looked at the director.

And his mind went immediately blank.

---

Vinay's mind went immediately blank when he saw the discount pet in the case in the corner, B211.

Toby. It was Toby. But that wasn't possible.

He looked so different from the last time Vinay had seen him. His hair was neatly done and he was wearing a tailored uniform, nothing at all like the tousled hair and loud colors he'd normally preferred. But the most striking thing about him was the smile. It was no longer that cocky grin he always wore when he'd gotten your attention. It was a customer service smile, a meek and submissive smile, a smile tinged with desperation.

But it was Toby. Even though that didn't seem possible, there was no mistake.

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend that one," said the salesman. "He's a bit more high maintenance than our other Romantics, and you're looking for a pet that's very independent, right?"

Vinay nodded and let the salesman lead him away to a different pet on display, but his mind remained behind.

How the hell did Toby end up as a pet? Vinay had spent so much time with him in college and never suspected that he might be a pet. Sure, he struggled with his grades, and was a bit on the unstable side, but surely that didn't mean he was a pet. Had he signed up voluntarily? Had he gotten himself in trouble, the sort of trouble that got him designated a risk to himself? Did he have a nervous breakdown?

And did he remember Vinay? No, he couldn't possibly. Pets all had their former memories erased through what was said to be a very humane process, to ease their transition into a better life. Toby likely didn't remember anything at all about him.

And that thought made him slightly ill.

"I can tell this one's not to your liking," said the salesman, and Vinay realized he'd been making a disgusted look in the vague direction of the pet the salesman was showing off. "Well, I think you're going to like this pet. He's low maintenance and is trained to cook…"

"That sounds interesting," said Vinay, trying to regain his focus.

He'd come here to find a companion pet on the recommendation of his therapist. His job left him with plenty of money but even more stress, he'd had little luck with making friends or dating, and he'd been getting desperately lonely and touch-starved. His therapist quite reasonably pointed out that that was one of the primary functions of pets, to ease loneliness.

Vinay had never considered it before. He'd never been fond of his family's Domestics. His father had preferred them unseen and unheard, so they tended to flit around the house like ghosts. Vinay certainly didn't want a pet like that. He wanted a pet with some personality, who could brighten his days and give him something to do other than work and sleep.

And he absolutely could not buy Toby, not that he would even consider it. However Toby had ended up as a pet, it was not his business, and Vinay was a stranger to him now anyway. Even if he didn't have his memory cleaned, Toby would no doubt hate being stuck with Vinay again. Most importantly, there was a rule in the Pet Owners' Handbook warning against keeping pets that the owner knew before they were pets. After all, pets had their memories erased so that their training would take well and so they wouldn't experience any unnecessary duress. Digging up those memories could cause psychological harm.

There was another customer in front of Toby now. Vinay had no reason to worry about him - he probably made a great pet, and would be bought up quickly.

That thought didn't make Vinay feel better at all.

The salesman directed him to the largest case at the end of the show floor. "And I've saved the best for last. This is a premium model, one of the finest we've had in this showroom. He does it all, and does it in style."

The premium pet was perfectly coiffed and very handsome. His smile looked much more natural than some of the other pets', warm and inviting, as though he truly wanted to be your companion. The salesman eagerly listed his attributes: independent, intelligent, capable of being a personal assistant, eager to please…

This one was everything he had wanted in a pet, just the sort of thing he'd been looking for. The pet was expensive, but Vinay could easily afford this indulgence. He'd be the perfect addition to Vinay's lonely condo, one he'd be proud to have.

"If this pet is within your budget, I think he'd be best suited to your needs, sir."

"He does seem like an ideal fit…" said Vinay with a lack of enthusiasm that surprised even him. After all, wasn't this exactly what he wanted? An ideal pet, perfectly trained, quiet, obedient, affectionate.

Just the right boring, corporate addition to his boring, corporate life.

"Would you like to spend a little time with him? I'm sure once you do, you won't be leaving this showroom alone."

Who was this premium pet before he was a pet? He wasn't meant to worry about that. They were all supposed to be volunteers or those who otherwise couldn't live a normal life, and the pet process was supposed to be humane and gentle. It was good for them, and good for pet owners.

But when he glanced over at Toby's blank and docile face…

"Maybe, but I'm still interested in that one. The one I saw when I first came in."

What was he doing? He couldn't buy Toby. That pet wasn't even Toby any more. He wasn't the roommate that drove Vinay up the wall at every given opportunity. He no longer knew any of Vinay's secrets, shared with him in late night conversations. He was a pet, now, and this premium pet was much better suited to Vinay's needs, just like the salesman said.

His needs. How often did he really think about his needs? What were they? Was a premium pet really what he needed?

Every rational part of his mind was screaming "bad idea" as he walked back to Toby's case. As he approached, a tiny spark of light appeared in Toby's dull eyes, and Vinay knew, against all of his sensible judgement, that he wasn't going to leave here without his old frenemy.

It had to be delusional, leftover feelings from his college years, all the time spent tutoring Toby and trying to get him to take his work seriously, all those times they'd spent laughing and talking about subjects both deep and ridiculous…

Vinay didn't really know what he needed, but he couldn't help but feel that Toby needed him.

"Are you sure?" said the salesman, clearly confused as to why Vinay had gone back here after being shown the premium model. "This one's a refurb. That's why he's on a discount."

A refurb. Someone had previously owned and sold Toby. He'd had his memories wiped at least twice now.

"Do you know why he was returned?"

"Ah, his original owner simply found a new relationship, and was displeased with the amount of attention this Romantic required. He's been wiped of those memories, and we've done our best to train out his unfortunate need for attention, of course…"

Vinay made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a choke. Of course Toby was attention-seeking as a pet. If there was one thing Toby couldn't stand, it was being ignored or bored.

And his previous owner hadn't appreciated that. He could imagine Toby's desperation as his bids for affection were rebuked by a busy owner. Lonely. Rejected. They surely didn't know how to handle him. Vinay knew, though. He always had.

"I want to buy this one."

The salesman was as surprised as Vinay was, going on about how they don't accept returns on refurbished pets. That hardly mattered. Vinay wasn't going to be returning him.

He was actually going to go through with this. He was going to own Toby.

No, he was going to own the pet that was once Toby. He wasn't the same, and Vinay couldn't treat him that way, lest he damage his new pet.

It would be fine. He'd stick to the rules in the Pet Owners' Handbook, the thick tome he'd already read half a dozen times, and it would be fine. He wouldn't bring up old memories. He'd give this pet a good life and all of the attention he deserved, at least when he was off work. It'd be fine.

And so he'd ended up in the sales office, signing mountains of paperwork to make him the legal owner of B211.

"We'd be happy to offer you any of our very affordable add-on packages," said the salesman. "We have additional skill training, discipline courses, and a wide variety of modifications we can make to your new pet before he goes home with you. For this particular pet, I would strongly recommend additional obedience and docility courses, to make sure he's well suited to your busy lifestyle."

"No, that won't be necessary," said Vinay, thinking of Toby's -- no, B211's -- eyes. Vinay had never seen him so quiet and docile. More obedience training seemed like the last thing he needed.

"Very well. If you change your mind, you can always give him discipline and obedience refreshers as necessary, although it might be more difficult for the pet once he becomes attached to you."

"I understand," said Vinay, signing another packet of papers. His brain was already swimming with how best he should welcome his new pet into his home. He'd planned for it extensively, read all the books, and of course Toby -- no, no, B211, damn it -- had to throw a wrench in his plans.

He was sure of one thing, though. B112 would be safe and happy with him if it was the last thing he did.

Previous > Masterlist

I'm sure this will go well.

@there-will-always-be-blood @kisa-writes @andithewhumper @handsinmotion @whumperhive

@eventide-triptych @pumpkinsncoffee

#whump #whump writing #pet whump #brainwashing #bbu #conditioning #dehumanization #good grade in being brainwashed #toby #vinay

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bunnwich · 2 months ago

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Say Bunnwhich, I'm kind curious...

What got ya to love Lil Lion Leona in the 1st place? :3

WHY DO I LIKE LEONA???

Sorry for the long yap as usual but, I feel like every once in a while ppl ask me this very question and I feel like I have been in twst hell for so long it’s like ancient history now. VGBHNJMK

TBH I very strongly disliked Leona's character when he came on screen when I first started to play twst. I found Chapter 2 to be very flat compared to Chapter 1 and I had very little sympathy for him and his backstory. To me, it was clear he was just the "hot, brooding character" archetype and I had no interest in him whatsoever.

HOWEVER, when I became more active in the fandom, my friend @comingyourlugubriousness and others began to ship my Yuu with him as a joke bc of my said dislike. And, yeah I begin to write lil scenarios where they’d interact and challenged myself to make a logical way he would even be interested in my Yuu in the first place?

THAT GOT ME THINKING and I saw how he used to be characterized in fics and stuff and I really just didn't agree??? Even to this day, I feel like some ppl go in two extremes with him. 1.) Where they wash down his personality in order for him to fit in into this “prince charming role" OR 2.) They make him the worst bastard ever, which can lead into certian problematic connotations.

When I went to write my own fics I had watched all of his vignettes and understood better what his true personality is. The main story does not do much to make him likable to a general audience sometimes IMO. And so I became interested in how and why so many ppl interpret his character so wrong?? (My opinion ofc)

And so my journey began as prob one of the biggest Leona apologists ever.

To answer the question better I guess. What do I LIKE about him?

I like him bc in order to enjoy him you really have to read between the lines and do your own work as a fan to find the intriguing parts of him! It's just fun!

I actually find him very relatable, his burnout and seemingly ultra competitive but still “work smarter” not harder attitude is something I gel with and feels very realistic for someone his age.

YES, I think his design is nice but honestly it's the least interesting thing about him to me. I will always enjoy long hair on men that's no secret. According to some friends I "have a type” but eh.

I like that he uses his sorta rude and grumpy ruse to scare ppl off. I personally subscribe to the idea that underneath all that sass he's just a lil cantankerous grandpa stuck in a 20 year old’s body, who likes to yap about chess and dead languages.

He’s a nerd and likes books.

He's a true hater. 💚

I feel like he'd never judge your appearance, for eating too much or being lazy.

I feel like he's a caretaker and would always look out for you.

I think he'd be a good teacher and big brother and a lot of his more amiable qualities remind me of my own S/O who is so, so smart and charismatic and who I love very much!

I say "I think/feel" on a lot of this bc TBH the headcanons I have made for him over my time in the fandom are probably 80% the reason I like him, yk?

SO, if I had to sum it up that probably why! I could say more but I’ll spare ya’ll. 💚💚💚

#ask #ren speaks🌱#leona kingscholar #From a character perspective #he's just so interesting to talk about idk #like there's even so much I wanna ramble about with the new event but I will save my thoughts.

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odo-apologist · 14 days ago

Text

Okay so Rimmer's middle name being Judas *does* make sense in the context of traditional Christian beliefs because he is hated by his parents, his father, from the start. What better middle name to call the child your wife had through the betrayal of adultery than that of a man infamous for betraying a person considered a savior in your religion? Arnold is marked from the beginning, Judas is destined to be damned, etc. etc.

But then we get the episode "Lemons" and we learn that Rimmer's middle name actually has a positive connotation in his mother's religion, which is why she named him that. And that's odd, right? Rimmer's mother, who seems to have as much contempt for him as his father does, who makes it clear she prefers her other sons more, who openly tells him she wants to "sue the sperm that made" him, apparently didn't name him after a reviled figure in her faith, but a revered one.

I'm not too inclined to believe that she harbored any sort of secret affection for him- though, if she ever did, she might have been forced to hide it in the face of her husband's dislike for this child that isn't his; I doubt he was much better as a husband than he was as a father. Was it a positive name given to Arnold to keep up appearances? Perhaps his brothers didn't get the name first because their father decided on their names (which seems likely to me, given how controlling his nature seems) but he cared so little for Arnold that he left his naming to his wife? Maybe the name was an act of aggression/defiance, a dig at him from his wife? She probably had to give up or tone down her faith to take on his; the name might possibly serve as a reminder of the difference/division between them- the kind that could drive her to have her affairs.

I don't know, I just find thinking about this interesting

#Also correct me if I'm wrong #(I still haven't finished the novels nor read the Smegazine)#But there is no canonical name for either of Rimmer's parents?#I like to think his mother's name is Lilith :) She gets to have a damned name too :)#Also I feel like his father's name is Howard #he definitely has the vibes of a father that would name his firstborn after himself #His wife calls her son Howie but she still calls her husband Mr. Rimmer #Anyways sorry I'm just fascinated by thinking about the Rimmer family in general. Their whole deal is so fucked #They are kinda like the Roys to me (shoutout to one of my IRL friends following me who'll enjoy that ref)#Hope this all makes sense!#Red Dwarf #Arnold Rimmer #Original Post #Edit: Just had my world rocked. So actually Rimmer's father is John. Still stand by the other stuff though lol

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critical-twenty · 2 years ago

Note

I'm kinda new to the cr fandom so i only know c1 stuff... could you write something with the prompt "is it okay to hug you?" from the part 2 list! Maybe something with the party having a s/o who struggles with touch and being vulnerable who has been having a very stressful day? Cries easily when they are frustrated or upset? 😢 If thats too much maybe just something with Vax or Percy cause i love them the most. 💖

sorry this is so late! it’s been sitting in my notes for ages, i’ve just been too busy to post it!

S/O who struggles with touch has a stressful day!

Vax

Vax never really has an issue with the lack of touch in your relationship

Sure, he likes to hold your hand, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t want to

He’s able to fluster you with just his words anyway

But when you come home one day with tears in your eyes and tension in your back, Vax is unsure of what to do

His first instinct is to reach out to you. It’s what he does for Vex and the others, so why wouldn’t he?

He stops himself when he remembers how much you dislike being touched without express permission

Even when you start crying, Vax doesn’t want to make things worse, so he just stares at you as he tries to ask what’s wrong

You look up at him through tearful eyes and ask ‘Can I hug you?’

Vax is immediately scooping you into his arms, letting his warmth invade your senses and comfort you

He tentatively begins to rub a hand up and down your back, continuing when you don’t tell him to stop

He’s relieved, in all honesty. He’s relieved he can help you and he’s honored that you let him hug you in such a moment of need

When you finally calm down enough to talk, he draws away to give you some space

His fingers stay connected with yours though, as you won’t let him go

He smiles at this, before pressing a kiss to your head

‘I’m sorry you had such a hard day, sweetheart. I’ll be here as long as you need me to be’

And he is 🖤

Grog

It took Grog a while to understand your reluctance in touch

It wasn’t that he thought it was weird, he just couldn’t read the signals as to how uncomfortable you were with his physical affection and you didn’t want to say anything

Finally, though, you told him about how you weren’t the biggest fan of touching

He nods, but it doesn’t fully register

Still he tries his best to remember, but he forget sometimes

He apologizes when he forgets and you can’t really get mad at him when he’s so genuine

When you come back home from a really rough day, Grog can instantly tell that something is up

He’s not the smartest, but when it comes to your happiness, he’s learned to become more attentive

He also knows that you don’t always want to be touched when you’re like this

(Pike had reminded him enough that it stuck with him)

So he watches you until he really can’t stand the sight of it anymore

‘Can I hug you?’

You look up at him with tears ready to fall and nod

Grog gives the best comforting hugs. He’s gentle but firm and he won’t let go until you ask him to

He’s not perfect, but he’s trying

Percy

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III was never a man who thrived in touch

He rarely initiated physical contact with you and whenever he did, he asked for your permission first

It was like he already knew about your dislike for touch without you even telling him

(He definitely did. He’s observant enough to see your subtle emotions and tells)

You were perfectly content with a dynamic mostly built on quality time and acts of service, rather than physical affection

This wasn’t always the case though

You had had a particularly hard day at work. There was so much to do and you felt like not enough time to do it all

So, when you walked into Percy’s Tinker Room, he instantly noticed your tense demeanor

He is the king of stress himself, he knows the signs

However he doesn’t know what to do. He knows that he likes to be alone when stressed, but by seeking him out you seem to want to be around him

He contemplates in his head for a moment as you tell him about your day, waiting for you to finish before he stands up and comes over to you

‘May I hug you, darling?’

You immediately look at him, before barreling into his arms

He’s quick to wrap them around you, pressing a light kiss to the crown of your head as he tries to ground you

He’ll hold you as long as you want. He’ll even offer cuddles

Needless to say, he’s done working for the day. You need him and that’s 10x more important than anything else

Scanlan

It took Scanlan awhile to adapt to your feelings on touch

He’s a naturally extroverted person and he’s usually the first to initiate physical contact with anyone, so it’s an adjustment for him

However, once he finds out that it’s even more fun to fluster you with his shitty pick-up lines and love songs, the physical touch thing becomes easier

He slips up every once in a while, but he tries to make it up to you (he is a secret romantic underneath that… sexual persona)

You go find him, sitting with his lute, after an awful day

You were tired, and stressed, and part of you just wanted to go to sleep and wake up when this project you were working on was over

Scanlan knew the minute you walked over to him that something was up

Not wanting to be obvious in his effort to comfort you, and not wanting to touch you when you were clearly already tense, he decided to do what he does best: talk

He began to make small talk, talking about his songs and his day and whatever was going on with his friends

He thought it was working, until you said his name and looked up at him with tired eyes

‘Can I have a hug?’

He was stunned for a moment, obviously not expecting it, but he got over it quickly

He lightly wrapped himself around you, holding you close and just letting it be

It was rare that Scanlan was so silent but, for once, the only sound was breathing

It was a small moment, but it was more than enough for you

Keyleth

Keyleth was awkward at first

Not because she had a hard time without physical affection, but more because she didn’t know what to do in general

Romance was still foreign to her

Still, she read your body language with perfection

You didn’t even need to tell her that you didn’t like physical touch… she just knew

You were thankful for that

It had been a stressful day and you were really just looking forward to hanging out with Keyleth

Sitting in the forest and listening to her talk to the plants always calmed you down

But even as you sat there, the stress didn’t go away

Keyleth noticed immediately, of course

She’s not great at words but she is more than adept at movement

‘…Is it okay if I hug you?’

You looked up with wide eyes and Keyleth immediately backtracks

‘We don’t have to, of course! You just seemed a bit tense and I thought maybe a hug might help be we don’t have to do that if you don’t-‘

She’s cut off by your arms gently wrapping around her waist

She freezes for a moment, before embracing you

It’s warm and comforting and Keyleth suddenly understands why people like doing this so much

She’ll hold you as long as you need. After all, she’s enjoying herself just as much as you are

Vex

Vex’ahlia is the queen of subtle touches

She loved resting a hand on the shoulders of her friends, or bumping into them playfully as they walked

It took a bit of self-control to not do those things with you

It wasn’t hard, per say. It just required a bit more focus and awareness of her movements

But, Vex would do anything for you, so she learned (quickly, as expected)

It was after a fight, while everyone was setting up camp, that Vex noticed the look on your face

It was the same look she saw when you were stuck on a particular puzzle, or when everything seemed to be piling on your shoulders

‘My dear, are you alright?’

You shrug half heartedly

‘Would you like to accompany Trinket and I on a walk? I think it will be quite relaxing and the moon is especially gorgeous tonight.’

Vex waits for your reply when finally you look up

‘Vex, will you hold me?’

Vex doesn’t even falter

Sure, she’s surprised, but the urge to comfort you overrides everything else

She hold you as close as she can without it being uncomfortable, rubbing circles on your back and whispering sweet encouragements into your ear

When you part, she tells you to take your time joining the rest of the party, before turning around and giving hushed threats to anyone who dares make a comment

You hear them, but it’s endearing. It shows that she care.

Pike

Pike is a very affectionate person

Not in the same flirty way as Vax or Scanlan, nor in the subtle way as Vex

Pike was just a very loving woman. Physical affection (including hugs) were just commonplace to her

Which is why she was a little stunned when you told her that you weren’t too fond of physical touch

It was hard for her, at first, because she had to find new ways to express all the love that she had for you, but your comfort came before everything

She always asked before initiating anything and you were always so thankful for that

One day, you came back to find Pike kneeling in the garden, mumbling under her breath

You assumed she was praying (for what, you weren’t sure) but you really needed her

Today had been hell and Pike had always known how to make you feel better

Sitting behind her, you gently rested your head on her shoulder

She tensed, knowing it was you, but confused by the display of touch

Still, she didn’t saying anything

‘Pike…’

She knew with that one call of her name what you needed

‘Do you want me to hug you?’

A small nod was all it took for Pike to spin around and gather you in her arms

Her hugs were like sunshine embodied

You felt all your stress and tension slip away as she held you close

Maybe she was a God herself, with the way she made you feel so safe in her embrace

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aleksanderscult · 3 months ago

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I don't understand how Leigh Bardugo could write something as bad as King of Scars and a trilogy as average and problematic in its messages as Grisha ?!

Knowing that she also wrote Six of Crows which was very good for me, limits most people to only knowing that about the Grishaverse (even if, if you take it in the context of the original trilogy, that makes the fate of the Grisha and of the Darkling even worse)... The Language of Thorns with some really cool stories, the Demon in The Wood (which makes you wonder even more why the Darkling is supposed to be the fucking bad guy in the original trilogy and die at the end ?!). Not forgetting recently The Ninth House which has 2 very good volumes and the beginning of The Familiar.

I have a hard time understanding how she can produce good things and such bad things.

I hear that not everyone is perfect, but for me the gap is still huge.

And the most paradoxical thing is that while she seems to gradually improve her way of writing, at no time does she acknowledge having made questionable choices in the writing of Grisha ?

Just see her attempt at moralizing backpedaling with the King of Scars duology...

TW!: Genocide

I don't think she knows or even cares about how genocide and prejudice in real life are not how she portrays them. And they definitely don't vanish by magical means. Clearly she put them in her story as a dramatic effect but she handled it with such unrealism and carelessness that makes you wonder what was the point of putting such issues in her book in the first place. She places such importance to the romance part (Mal × Alina, Kaz × Inej, Nina × Matthias) that the problems of her world take a third place in her books.

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom weren't such flawed because the heroes there did some personal jobs and didn't have a humanitarian goal. Kaz, in particular, has made it clear that he doesn't give a fuck about the world, only about his pocket. So they were some pretty straightforward books and well-written enough that you cannot see the issues.

But in the trilogy we have this huge war going on while the protagonist wails about her love interest, kills her enemy at his weakest (so no flex of her powers against him) and other people vanish the Fold for her.

In the duology Bardugo wanted to get back to her own readers:

- "People dislike Zoya. Hmm... Let's make her Suli with a very sad background. Also let's make her the most important character among the heroes just for these haters to shut up. Because if they don't, they'll be racists and misogynists"

- "People love the Darkling. Hmm.... Let's remind those readers of mine what he has done by having Zoya conjure up every delulu thought about him. Also let's have Mal, Alina, Zoya, Nikolai and freaking Misha make him shut up and look stupid"

- "Ah shit they love Aleksander too much. Ok how about this. I'm gonna make the Starless Cult out of them to prove how blind they look"

- "People didn't like the R&R ending. Hmm.... Let's bring Alina back and have her say how happy and peaceful she feels with her current state"

- "People hate Mal. Hmm... Let's have him be likable and funny while thwarting Aleksander's comments like a pro. It's not like he isn't a hot-tempered guy or smth"

(and about bringing the Darkling back, this was lazy writing. Instead of making the heroes face new foes from the north and south, she recycled villains)

By the way, when the TV adaptation of S&B came out she said that she wanted to fix the diversity. Can you imagine that? Not book!Alina as a character, not the trilogy's ending (not protesting on that cruel scene on the show where the Crows gleefully kill the Grisha that stood with the Darkling) but the diversity. Season two's ending was the showrunner's idea as well as Mal's change of personality, not Bardugo's.

Anyway, she should stay on writing short stories. I really love the Language of Thorns and Demon in the Wood so why ruin your fictional world further?

#you can expect either something really good or really bad from her #she is to literature what Ridley Scott is to cinema #her works either flop or shine #anti leigh bardugo #grishaverse #shadow and bone #anon asks #the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #six of crows #kaz brekker #alina starkov #anti zoya nazyalensky #anti nikolai duology #grishaverse trilogy #pro aleksander morozova

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iitodoiidas · 2 months ago

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got a bit of time tonight, so i want to ramble about my boy Iida Tenya, and my own thoughts and feelings about the manga's ending.

this is long, LONG, and rambly and perhaps filled with grammatically incorrect sentences, and i dislike capitalization, so click read more at your peril!!!!

---

as an Iida fan, the ending of the manga is a huge, HUGE let down. i'm actually expecting to be disappointed tbh, with the slow and steady pushing of Iida as a character off to the side to make way for the Midoriya-Bakugou-Todoroki power trio.

and you know, i get it! thematically, they are the inheritors of All Might and his spirit of Heroism. and they deserve the spotlight too, given how much they grew as characters vs the start of the story.

(((

i'm not a big Bakugou fan (tho i find him v funny at times, like how you'd find a rabid racoon funny) , but his character arc is very satisfying for me as a reader. love that even in the end he's still a lil shit ahha! but the way he initiated and funded the whole armor thing for Midoriya means he's still trying to atone for all the shit he did in their past. which! good on him tbh.

Todoroki, my sweet summer child, has been abused physically, and emotionally suffered enough all his life, and i'm so glad he's on the path of healing now, and also away from his dad's shadow too.

Midoriya… hmm, personally, i would have preferred for him to have remained a teacher instead of going back to heroics. it would have been a great call back to the original premise of the story that questions "can a boy with no super power become a hero too?", because the answer will be "yes!" because you know damn well he'll be looked up to by every class he handles. and given his expertise upon analyzing quirks, think of how valuable his battle advice and tactics must be, especially to kids who are just beginning to understand their quirks!

generations of student heroes, learning from his battle/fight strategies, his ideals on heroism, and most importantly his kindness and desire to help people, and then putting those values in practice in the real world. wouldn't that be a great way on how you begin to establish a truly peaceful society?

)))

but… Iida. i think... Iida's been left behind by the story by the end of it.

i almost didn't include this pic bc it offends me so much. like why is my boy banished off to the corner!? HE DESERVES A SPOT ON THAT COUCH TOO GDI!!

bias aside, you cannot tell me that Iida's contribution to story isn't IMMENSE. he is very much essential to Midoriya's growth as a hero and Todoroki's path to healing (and Bakugou's... as a classmate and a non-dear friend lmaoooo) that neither would be possible without Iida's presence and influence.

Iida (and Uraraka) being the first to offer friendship to a very insecure Midoriya, and how important Iida reaching out his hand again to Midoriya was again later on when Midoriya needed help the most; Iida reminding Todoroki of himself when Iida's going down a dark and dangerous path away from his ideals, saving him, and then being saved in turn, because of how well they relate to and understand each other. Iida being the foundation of their entire class, the way he's offered steadfast support to every one of them.

just... sighhhhh...... we didn't even hear his graduation speech as a senior? i like Mirio well enough, and i also get that the war's just happened before they graduated which is a bummer sure and that needs to be addressed, but i feel like we also deserve parting words from OUR student representative. it would have been a nice send off too to the Class A as we know them, by having their class president acknowledge their efforts and hard work.

and then... the timeskip.

---

sighhhhhhh.................

ok i'll get to timeskip Iida later.

i've mentioned before how utterly wasteful i find it that Hori didn't flesh out the Iida family, as a foil against the Todoroki's.

like you have these boys from two families, similarly deeply rooted in the hero culture but with such highly contrasting upbringing. on one hand you have the Todoroki's, led by the no. 2 hero of all of Japan, who bc of ambition, had abused and traumatized all members of his small, nuclear family. and on the other, a multi-generational family of heroes, not high enough in the rankings, but successful enough to be known and respected by most of the population (also they're def super loaded too, like they have a damn BUILDING with their signature hero name!!!)

Tensei's presence in the story was underutilized too. here you have a well-known, well-liked hero who was established to have a team of sidekicks who work well together (as per Vigilantes). how interesting it would have been to have Tensei (and the Iida fam) to appear again in the story just as the hero society is collapsing? this family who made it their identity and business to help and save people as quickly and efficiently as possible? like... how could they have dealt with the fallout of the common people no longer trusting them and being actively hostile against known heroes?

knowing what we do about Tensei though, i doubt this will stop him. he'll for sure still be trying to help out people in need, even if he's already retired and while wheelchair-bound. which i also think is super unfair btw like we have Mirko with her super cool prosthetics, why can't Tensei have robot-assisted legs too??? and that's considering the Iida family who seem to primarily have mobility/tech hybrid based quirks, for sure they must have a team of tech experts specializing on mobility on hand as well????

imagine Tensei calling Tenya up one day saying he's got a surprise for his bb bro! and Tenya comes over all curious and stuff, and then Tensei greets him standing up with prosthetics, with a design that is inspired by Tenya's own leg-Engine quirk. then Tensei goes to explain that even if Tenya keeps saying that Tensei is his hero, Tensei would also like to declare that the new Ingenium is his hero, whom he'd like to honor with the design, and that someone he'd hope to work with in the future, even as a civilian background support. and in a few moments after that sinks in, Tenya will just bawl his eyes out (and then Tensei joins in in a bit bc let's be real these brothers adore each other v much)

and also..... i keep thinking what a reunion it would have been if Stain himself could have witnessed that "altruism" is well and truly alive, not only from the younger, but also from the elder Ingenium, both of whom he'd failed to kill?

siggggghhhhhhhh......

---

anyways, back to Iida Tenya. (i'll use Tenya now to refer to him, since i'll also mention Tensei a lot.)

i mentioned Tensei and the Iida fam first, bc somehow i thought we'd see a glimpse of them again before the manga ends. like an acknowledgement that Tenya had indeed proven himself worthy of the Ingenium name. wishful thinking, considering Inko (main character's mom!!!!!!) wasn't even given the chance to comfort and acknowledge her son (the main character!!!!!) as a hero as to what he has gone through to save their whole society!

anyways, so the last we see of Tenya, he's working with others, touring elementary schools, and spreading awareness and expanding quirk counseling headed by Uraraka. it's a noble pursuit yes, and beneficial too, if it could help kids with misunderstood quirks like Toga. but i can't help but feel Tenya's talents and skills could have been better put elsewhere.

like... rebuilding the Team IdaTen for example.

now, everything from this point on is all wishful thinking on my part, as an Iida Tenya fan who loves his character and story arc, and thinks he deserves a better ending.

Team IdaTen, as per Vigilantes manga, comprises of Sidekicks working under Ingenium, and their credo is (not verbatim, sorry) "to come to people's aid as quickly as possible". And this is a credo that Tenya has taken to heart, and is the core of his heroism. As the inheritor of the Ingenium name, isn't it a logical conclusion to have him step up as the new leader of the team?

in an Iida-led manga, maybe Tenya's challenge for this is how to prove himself as a capable leader amongst his brother's veteran Sidekicks. For sure they already know Tenya as their former leader's baby brother, but how about as a leader? maybe some of them won't be able accept Tenya as a replacement, being too loyal or different from his older brother.

or... is there stil even Team IdaTen? maybe many of them quit when Tensei retired, maybe some got disillusioned and quit too during the collapse of hero society. and for sure many of them also died or got injured during the war.

Tenya's goal could be to search and recruit his own Team IdaTen, a team which specializes as first responders. like if there's any disaster or accident, you'd be sure Team IdaTen is first on the scene!! they'd be helping who they can, and relay info to other responding heroes and other pros.

hmmm..... maybe that can explain Tenya's presence in Uraraka's advocacy to improve the quirk counseling? maybe he's recruiting potential, future Team IdaTen members. he'd be on the look out for speed-based, or mobility-based quirks, but would also be welcoming of other types for sure! the only important thing is their desire to help people and that they agree to the Ingenium credo, which is saving people takes priority out of everything.

and yknow, maybe this is also his way to help curb Vigilantism, which is another problematic issue in a hero society, and help set people on a more lawful path into becoming proper heroes. like how Tensei tried to recruit Koichi after seeing his potential and desire to help without having the means. it would have been a great callback to the values Tensei had inspired on Tenya, which he would then be able to pass on to a new set of heroes/sidekicks he'd lead as a team.

siiighhhhhhh.......

okk i'm running out of steam now. i will just continue being sad over Iida's wasted storylines for the foreseeable future. ( ; ^ ; ) </3

#//own #//text #iida tenya #i know i missed a lot of stuff here and perhaps even misunderstood a bunch of things #i'm not the very best writer there is so all my rambling here may be a bunch of nonsense in a story-telling perspective #but idk man #i just want my boy iida to have a much better send off in the story than what we got #:'(

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xanyiaz · 4 months ago

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guys i AM 'the' gavin, avior, porter and camelopardalis fan 🙏🙏‼️and here's why @plaqying :

I MADE GAVIN IN THE SIMS 💀💀 and also posted several fanarts of him (on my friend's behalf):

also i wrote this essay about him:

lemme just write an essay about vincent and gavin for a second-

so i was relistening to this audio earlier *the vincent audio after lovely got kidnapped*

and he talks about how he was kind of an asshole before because he was only ever thinking short-term and only ever flirting with people as a means to eventually feed from them. but lovely and what they went through with adam changed him because it made him realise that he had changed. he had become different from how he was as a human, but lovely made him remember that version of himself - like they awakened the vincent that, although still being very flirty, he sees and embraces them as they are, and doesn't just flirt to feed but because he wants to, because he loves to, since he loves them. it reminds me of my other favourite character gavin - how he's also an asshole in the beginning (i have a type ig 💀) but it's only because other people only saw him as sex, as a tool to get off with, but not as just he is. they ignored the best part of him - his heart. they forgot he even has one because they were too busy wrapping themselves up in a fantasy with him, only to then throw him away once they're finished. but freelancer stuck around. they saw him for how he is. not as an incubus, just as "gavin". i love characters like this - that, at first glance, just seem a certain way, but underneath all that, the flirty exteriors, are the most beautiful beings with hearts of gold. and both of them are so patient; they didn't expect anything in return, after all, why would they? everyone else only wanted them for their flirty self or to use them for their body, not for their soul. lovely helped vincent realise that he had grown too used to putting up a false flirty front and that because of that, he had forgotten who he was underneath all that - a caring, loving person who also encourages lovely to become a better person; and freelancer, who got helped by an incubus and some silly lil elementals to realise that it's ok to reach out for help sometimes and that doing so isn't a burden on others, helped gavin realise that people want to be around him for more reasons than just sex, he is deserving and worthy of much more than that.

in short i'm so incredibly sane about them and love them a totally normal amount i promise.

---

wrote 2 POEMS based on avior and starlight:

also i imagined this: if starlight had/has pimples or spots or freckles and disliked them or felt insecure because of them i just KNOW avior would like- compare them to the stars and the night sky and kiss every one lightly, showering them with love until they start believing themself that they are as beautiful as avior says. this is how i imagine it:

slight sovereign state spoilers ig ??

starlight: "i'm breaking out so much, look how many pimples i have showing."

avior: "hey, don't say those things about yourself. all your spots and details and everything about you considered an "imperfection" by yourself, or anyone else, are my favourite parts of you. they paint star constellations all over you, and every time i look at you, i just want to plant kisses over each and every one of them. we may not have had any indicators of what time of day it was when we were stuck in hell together, but you were and still are my night sky, my sunshine, my whole universe, all the stars in my galaxy. every time i look at you, i see that all over you. your so called "imperfections" ignite my soul. you're my everything, starlight. never hate anything about yourself. and do not doubt even for a single second that the way i feel about you would change because of all your beautiful details. you are the stars that light up the galaxy of my heart. starlight, star bright, the stars in your eyes light up my life."

---

look how many porter headcanons i wrote RAAHHHHH:

- under people's skin or in contrast, how to charm and flatter people, he's SO charismatic and knows exactly how to get what he wants

- he has dyed tips of his hair- like i imagine it being either white/light grey or black and then like red or purple or blue dyed tips and like it's longish shoulder length but styled like miyamura from horimiya

- he likes board games but ESPECIALLY cluedo

- he likes wine-tasting

- he has heterochromia eyes- either like blue and red or blue and purple

- he wears corsets 🤭

- he wears HELLA jewellery- skull rings and loads of ear piercings and like a tooth necklace or something and just LOADS of vintage jewellery

- he knows how under people's skin or in contrast, how to charm and flatter people, he's SO charismatic and knows exactly how to get what he wants

- but also- he's so used to charming people or putting on a show/facade that, when people do genuinely want to get to know him and be close with him, he's reluctant and inexperienced- most people don't stick around after they get what they want from him, which is why he's so interested in & curious about treasure, why he's so enamoured with them bc they also seem so enamoured with him and he wants to understand why.

- also he has the sluttiest waist ever and he's so babygirl- wbk but i had to say it anyways 💀

also i made a playlist for him ofc <3

---

i also made these edits of gavin, gavin (again) + cam and porter (edited him twice) (can't believe i haven't edited avior yet smh):

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---

camelopardalis my love <33

---

i have made more posts about all of them but it would take too long to scroll so you'll just have to take my word for it 😭‼️also i LITERALLY have most of gavin's audios memorised by now- and also porter's first audio- trust i am all of their biggest fan 🙏🙏 but also if i don't win- that's fair enough lol good luck to everyone 🫶🫶

#redacted awards 2024 #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted fandom #redacted gavin #redacted cam #redacted camelopardalis #redacted avior #redacted porter #Spotify

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nofomogirl · 4 months ago

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Before the Beginning (part 2.4.)

Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.3.

In my previous post, I looked at the Bandstand Breakup, and how it hits differently after S2, where we learned that the end of the world most likely means the end of the entire universe, not just Earth.

Today I want to look at a scene from S1E4, which takes place the very next day in the canon. The one where Crowley is at his flat and utters his famous monologue, starting with considering his options for escape and ending with chastising God. Here's the whole thing, in case you need your memory refreshed:

Where should I go? England's out. America's out. Atlantis? Didn't exist yesterday. It exists today. Still out. The moon. No atmosphere. No nightlife. Alpha Centauri. That's always nice this time of year. Beautiful nebula. Look at that. I helped build that one. I only ever asked questions. That's all it took to be demon in the old days. Great Plan? God, you listening? Show me a Great Plan. Okay, I know you're testing them. You said you were goint to be testing them. You shouldn't test them to destruction. Not to the End of the World.

It's S1, with God as an omniscient and reliable narrator. Crowley is alone and in his private space with his glasses off. Which means we're seeing his most authentic self, being dramatic but not acting or performing for anyone's benefit except his own.

In other words, we have no reason to question this scene's credibility. What we see is how things are.

And what I see is Crowley spectacularly avoiding thinking about what the End of the World really means; about the magnitude of destruction it would bring.

He plans to escape Armageddon and yet he contemplates places that are on Earth! More than that, he actually starts with England, which, okay, isn't any better or worse than anything else, considering Crowley doesn't know about Adam at that point and therefore doesn't know where Armageddon will start, but still, it could hardly be called running away. The fact that Crowley considers moving meagre several miles within a portion of a small island he calls home - even if it's only to rule it out - shows us how much he dislikes changes. I believe that the reason he looks at the globe at all - the in-universe reason that is - is because his first instinct is to change as little as possible. Only go as far as strictly necessary. His brain searches for ways to stay and has to be reasoned with. Has to be reminded that no, the planet is about to be lost.

Now, I'm sure you're all familiar with the rule of three. If not, well, the short version is that just like God likes 7s, the human brain really likes 3s.

Now please note that Crowley considers (however briefly) three locations on Earth - England, America, Atlantis - but only two beyond it - the Moon and Alpha Centauri.

A list of three elements implies a full sequence. Having it followed by a very similar list of two elements strongly suggests we're looking at an incomplete version of the same pattern.

We all accepted it as a fact that Crowley simply made up his mind right then and there. He chose Alpha Centauri because it was an option he liked best and we created a great deal of meta about why. About what's so special about this specific system, what it may mean to Crowley, and how it connects to him and Aziraphale.

But what if the real reason Crowley got so fixated on Alpha Centauri wasn't any special quality of the system or its hidden personal significance, but simply the fact that this is where our demon hit pause on a train of thought he wasn't ready to see reach its destination?

Crowley names and rejects three places on Earth before he accepts the unpleasant truth he knew from the start - that there's no place on Earth where he could run from Armageddon.

The headcanon I am trying to sell you in this series of posts is that on some very deep semi-conscious level, Crowley knows that the entire universe is going to be annihilated. But he suppresses that terrifying truth with all his might. He'd rather reminisce about his time as an angel and attempt to plead with God than face the fact that there truly isn't anywhere to run.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #post series #before the beginning #ineffable husbands

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bonefall · 1 year ago

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I’m not sure if you talked about it, but what do you think about A Thief in Thunderclan? I actually liked it, though it definitely had a few ehhh moments

Eh, honestly? Im kinda disappointed that James Barry had to go out on such a low note. I did not like it, it felt like a waste of time.

It wasn't like... offensively bad but I have very little good to say about it. It was fine. If you want to see more ThunderClan you can check it out?

(A lot of Thief in ThunderClan critique below the cut, I didn't like it much)

First of all, the mystery was just bad. I'm sorry. An owl? Swooping in at night for dead animals and leaving perfect scores in the dirt? It felt like a real "running out of ideas" type plot.

Brightheart was NOT fun to follow. She was uncomfortable for most of the story and secondhand embarassment is an emotion I really don't enjoy. Even moments that were supposed to be thought-provoking (like the Brambleclaw name confrontation) just felt like cringe because they were written so poorly.

Like, seriously? "Firestar why did you name Bramble after his father who disfigured me?" "Oh its because i uhhhh wanted to remind ppl of it so they would stop being reminded of it eventually" WHAT? That was a brainless enough choice when it was FIRST made, you can't fucking tell me any cat with a brain cell would go "wao... really makes you think... hngsociety"

I disliked the fact they decided to give Brightheart serious suspicion towards people like Longtail and Brambleclaw, I strongly disagree she would be like that. She feels so much to me like someone who would feel awful for doubting people she logically knows are innocent, and express to Cloudtail that it makes her feel like a bad person, but she CANT help it. She is such a kind, loving, and self doubting sort of cat... or, was, I guess? Or maybe it was never there at all and I'm the fool.

On that note? Her character arc was a mess. As much as I hate Shadow in RiverClan, I can say that Feathertail's arc was a competent *story*. Brightheart is having nightmares, suspects Bramble and Long of treason, is trying to figure out this mystery, trying to help train Rainpaw, the fact she resents not being his mentor is mentioned and dropped, she is pregnant... so much shit is going on and it feels absolutely unfocused.

And even worse, because it's overlapping with the beginning of Firestar's Quest, we end up having to Show Off The Continuity instead of telling a cohesive story. Oop Willowpelt died and Rainpaw is kind of sad about it! But wait we have to say bye to Firestar, make sure to squeeze in the Brambleclaw name confrontation before he goes! GO BACK Longtail has been blinded!! ALSO THE OWL! HERES WHY THE OWL WASNT MENTIONED IN FQ!!

And DUDE if there's anything that's a SERIOUS problem, it's Brightheart's stupid ass cutesy "look who's being USEFUL in here!" When blinded Longtail is helping out in the medcat den

First of all fuck you for the wording of that line! Second of all, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD that disabled people shouldn't have to find a way to be "useful" to belong to their society.

The fact we're getting a book from Bright's perspective as a disabled person and the whole thing is chock full of "useful" language as she struggles with PTSD makes the fact this is COMMON in WC sting so much more.

Anyway back to just, normal critique and not frustration with ableism in wc.

I feel like they really wasted Brightheart's family. I enjoyed finally getting Cinder and Bright hanging out as sisters, but we got a MENTION of Frostfur, and barely anything with her brothers. It's already a mess so why not go the whole way?

Ashfur also has his post-TBC personality retcon which absolutely kills me. Why do we need this shitty "foreshadowing"? Why do we need him to have been so obviously controlling and argumentative? Why are these writers fucking allergic to having a villain that people thought was nice and normal once?

NITPICK: if i have to see another cat gently picked up by a large bird of prey without at LEAST getting a cracked rib I will shapeshift into 10,000 crows and fly away forever

I have some good feelings towards it though, and I have to be clear, this is actually Ambivalent Bones. I'm only mad at the "Usefulness" rhetoric, the rest is just my normal amount of whinging lmao.

I do really like Cinderpelt and Brightheart finally getting some interactions. It's long overdo lmao

I like Cloudtail and Brightheart as a ship so it's nice to see them hang out.

Uhhh this is a bit of a backhanded compliment but I liked how she was upset at not getting one of Whitestorm's children to mentor? I don't like how it bodes for the wider narrative though, because we know this ends in her getting shafted FOR YEARS and unable to get an apprentice. But I liked the plot setup of her having resentment for Cloudtail because of this. I thought that would make a really good plot point for putting a wedge between them to work through. Like, stop being cowards, LEAN INTO Firestar making some very serious, insulting, short-sighted mistakes, and it interfering with Brightheart's ability to heal. Kill your darling.

There were some nice lines. I do remember Ashfur's lame "greedyclaw" insult, which was funny.

I enjoyed the cute moments between the cats in ThunderClan. Ferncloud chasing after her kids, Brightheart convincing people to help her investigate, the Willowkin being upset about their mom. It's a mess but there's some nice stuff in that mess, y'know?

Overall, my memory hasn't been kind to it. I think I was giving it a 6/10 when I first saw it, but it's dropped down to a low 5/10. Not (very) offensive but too messy and pointless to revisit.

#bone babble #Also funfact in bb im turning cinders weird purple snail into a special leech #Little gave it to her because there is literally no stronger display of autistic affection than gifting your best friend a favored creature

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utilitycaster · 1 year ago

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What would you say are the CR cast's individual weaknesses? I'm always trying to improve for my own games and also curious to see if I can spot them in the episodes.

Hi anon,

This is super subjective, heavily biased towards my own personal likes and dislikes, etc, so I don't think you should per se use this as your own metric, and also a lot of these are not mechanical but more broadly about structure or acting.

Travis: bias immediately begins here; I think he's one of the strongest actors and one of the strongest people mechanically at the table. He also really knows what he wants and likes to do, which, spoilers, is essentially my biggest criticism of almost anyone else; and I think as part of that he addressed what would have been my biggest criticism in the past (namely, a hesitancy towards emotional roleplay which was present in C1 and was very much part of what he proceeded to push his boundaries on with Fjord and in some ways even more so with Chetney). Anyway I think my current main critique is that I would like to see him play a character who really isn't good with melee/is a full caster and I think he's been more hesitant on that, but also, it's valid to have a strong preference for one type of build so like. he can keep doing what he's doing and I will not be mad.

Marisha: I've talked about this before but I think she really needs to do more involved backstory planning that dives into motivations more, or, failing that, simply have very goal-oriented characters. I think that even when there's been vagueness in the backstories of her other characters (basically everyone but Keyleth) their motivations were enough to carry them through, but this has been a campaign-long struggle for Laudna. I will also admit that I find her acting choices as Laudna specifically to be rather overwrought in a way that doesn't particularly, work for me but I have a really strong personal bias towards naturalistic styles. She's also capable of much subtler work, and both Bee and Patia I think showed that off.

Sam: Kind of a weird in-between situation in comparison to the above. I think Sam knows his sweet spot and capacity for humor and so he rarely goes as dark as say, Oscar Grimm, but he is absolutely killing it already over there. In general I think Sam needs to be more willing to leave his comfort zone and push himself more because he can play it a bit safe. I think he does have a sharp learning curve re: complex mechanics (this is why early FCG was rough) exacerbated by the fact that I think he really tends to assume what he can do is way more limited than it is, and I suspect the much simpler Candela system is working to his favor, but like, he does eventually get there and, should we get a campaign 4, I'm going to tape "BE PATIENT WITH SAM, HE ALWAYS GETS THERE" on my laptop to remind me.

Ashley: Bit like Sam actually! I think she can and should go harder on mechanics (and for the most part has been; I think she underestimates herself a lot), and I also think she needs to make wilder choices. Fearne has been a delight in this regard but I want to echo the cast at one of the recent convention Q&As: please push the red button more, please go absolute as hard as you want. Will say her acting is maybe my favorite in the cast.

Laura: ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO PUSH MORE BIG RED BUTTONS. Like...man. I feel this mindset; I don't really play video games other than stupid phone games but I'm That Person who's like "I only have 100 erasers in Two Dots, I must ration them". But I think she's doing a fantastic job with Imogen and my one criticism would truly be Go Bigger And Weirder And Harder. This is why I mentioned her; she was willing to take such massive risks as Arlo, and I think part of that was because it was a short campaign and she didn't feel that need to hold back but like, please, press buttons and take more risks. Her RP is always stellar though. Like, truly, I think Laura, Ashley, and Travis often appeal to my personal taste in acting choices and themes the most, and I just want Laura and Ashley to make similarly wild choices to Travis sometimes.

Liam: This is 100% purely a very me thing; I find he acts like a stage actor (which he is!) when there is a camera like 10 feet from his face and it can at times be a bit much for me, a person who is annoying re: subtlety. When he hits, he fucking hits though. Vax sometimes got a little overwrought for me but when he went quieter it was top notch; Caleb was fantastic because I think he counteracted this tendency; and there's been a couple moments with Orym I haven't loved but so many that I have. Mechanically he is great and while I'm a noted Rogue Disliker, Wizard/Fighter/Cleric are all flawless and much as I'd like to see him play other classes he is valid for his core four choice.

Taliesin: Here is the thing. I think whereas Laura takes a somewhat hesitant, afraid to let her character die stance, Taliesin does in fact have sort of a parallel issue of taking huge risks and then being very pikachu face when his character does die. Big swing of the pendulum in the other direction. However, Taliesin tends to hit on themes I find fascinating, consistently, and has a truly impressive breadth of mechanical skill. Even when I don't like his characters (only happened once) I absolutely respect what he's doing, and perhaps most importantly, he truly does not care what I or others in the fandom think, which makes me respect him more. Like, you know what? Molly isn't for me, and that's valid! Anyway. I hesitate to suggest more caution bc episodes 3x77-78 were so good and I loved all the wild shit Percy got up to (I also loved Caduceus but he was a much more laid-back character by design) but I do think that lack of caution is his weakness.

Matt: Judging more on the basis of being a DM than a player here just for sheer quantity but I think that his two greatest weaknesses are first, communicating highly specific risks (the main ones being the Iron Shepherds and the Otohan fight; you can't do that in pitched combat my man); and for lack of a better way to put it, I do still think he needed more firmness in the character creation stage of c3 and then looser reins during the campaign itself. I've been thinking about this a lot because I think that when I have frustrations with Aabria's style it's weirdly sort of...needs slightly looser reins but in a totally different way, and like, when Matt needs to loosen up, RP moments fall by the wayside and plot is fine, whereas when Aabria needs to loosen up, RP is still stellar but plot suffers.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #cr spoilers #candela spoilers

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