#I'm only a burden and thats all im ever going to be and no one can convice me otherwise

[old-man-spine]

Would you still like me if I got worse

[kholnt]

I just wanted to say how much I looooooovvveeee your Lost Link fic! I love the idea of what would happen if Wild remembered his past. I wanted to know how you think his knight training went? I definitely think that it was a terrible experience that gave him a whole wagon full of horrible coping mechanisms and bad habits(and from where the fic is going, I'm guessing you think similarly), but I wanted to know how you thought his training went. Anyway, just wanted to say how much I appreciate and love your work, Thank You!

WAAAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS!!! (but give all of the writing credit to @/eponatheestallion <33 cannot emphasize that enough) BUT! you basically got it in one! his knight training was NOT kind to him in the slightest. i mean, even with the canon material we HAVE it still doesn't particularly spell a good time. (staring at mipha, zelda and purah's diaries respectively. and creating a champion. and possibly aoc but thats a different timeline + i barely know anything abt it so its there In Spirit) i will warn you that this ones gonna be long bc botw diaries TEND TO BE YAP SESSIONS! AND im a yapper so i'll just give you the tldr:

lost's knight training was abhorrent for his mental health and plays into a LOT of his mannerisms and why he is the way he is

ANYWAY! i'll just talk abt things that have been established either in the au or in botw canon :) any blanks you can fill on your own

as for canon things heres some things that stood out to me (formatted to be paragraphs for my sanity):

"A youth named Link was brought to me a hundred years ago, covered in wounds and on death's doorstep. Link… So young, yet so courageous. He was the youngest knight to have ever been appointed to the Imperial Guard at Hyrule Castle. He was also a gifted swordsman who was selected as captain of Princess Zelda's personal guard. I thought his skills would be enough to defeat Ganon in glorious fashion…

It was the best we could do…" -Purah's Diary

~~~~~

"When I finally got around to asking why he's so quiet all the time, I could tell it was difficult for him to say. But he did. With so much at stake, and so many eyes upon him, he feels it necessary to stay strong and to silently bear any burden.

A feeling I know all too well… For him, it has caused him to stop outwardly expressing his thoughts and feelings. I always believed him to be simply a gifted person who had never faced a day of hardship. How wrong I was… Everyone has struggles that go unseen by the world… I was so absorbed with my own problems, I failed to see his." -Zelda's Diary ~~~~~

"At the request of Hyrule's king, a group of outsiders came to greet us at the domain. One of them was a Hylian child of only about four years of age. His name was Link. He made quite a first impression. He was curious and full of energy, with a ready smile. Are all Hylian children that way?

One thing that surely sets him apart is his swordsmanship, which I hear is exceptional. He has even bested adults. He must be somewhat reckless, however, as he was covered in bruises. Wishing to be helpful, I healed his wounds for him." ~~~~~

"Link came to visit the domain. It feels like forever since he was here last. He no longer resembles the child I first met. He is now an accomplished knight and keeper of the sword that seals the darkness. I am so proud. However… He hardly speaks anymore, and smiles even more rarely. He is still the kind soul I knew, but something has changed.

I asked him if something had happened, if something was wrong. He merely shook his head. Perhaps it is his newly acquired height, but I feel he is ever looking past me, into the distance beyond…" -Mipha's Diary

~~~~~ "The details of how Link obtained the sword a hundred years ago have been lost to the mists of time, but since he was in possession of it for a number of years prior to becoming a Champion, he was likely around twelve or thirteen years old when it happened."

~~~~~

"After the Champions for the Divine Beasts were chosen, there was an incident at Hyrule Castle. A Guardian went berserk during a test run. Link deftly defeated it, earning himself a great deal of recognition. Impressed, King Rhoam made him Princess Zelda's appointed knight. With no regard for his own personal safety, he loyally fulfilled his duty to guard Princess Zelda with his life." -Creating a Champion

(there will be another thing later but its separated for a Reason.) ANYWAY! these are like. BIG things in canonical material that I feel like are important, especially if they're highlighted. i'm not really going to elaborate much since its kind of spelled out already but i'll say a few things nonetheless (also for consistencies sake i'm going to say lost but do know this ALSO applies to wild) he was the youngest knight appointed in history. like even that alone is FUCKED??? i don't remember if it was something in canon, fanon or something kay n i made up (but it doesnt rlly matter since its canon to the lost hero au ANYWAY!) but he became a knight at TWELVE soon after pulling the sword. then proceeded to become a royal guard at 17. this is a kid surrounded by adults in a generally Unsafe Environment, that alone is enough for some level of fucked. ill explain the "hes been training since he was four" later since i have Thoughts about that, but on a unrelated note do notice that mipha makes the assumption that lost is reckless and not through actually seeing him being clumsy. hyrulean guard when i get you now, to me the vow of silence was something that stemmed from before the calamity and started up in his training. because thats a twelve year old being forced to be a hero when he never got the choice to. OBVIOUSLY hes going to shut down. again, this will be expanded upon later also. lost is canonically self sacrificial. VERY self sacrificial. no further comments, just saying OKAY. NOW ITS LATER BC ITS TIME TO YAP ABT THE "inspired by canon but like. its canon plus." canon is bent in specific ways bc the way link is characterized (in cac specifically) makes him very uh,,,, inhuman i suppose. i love looking at scenarios where decisions have consequences, and it's that specific reason why i enjoy "what if" aus so much.

yes, lost was still trained when he was four. no it was not formally. to me, lost had an interest in swordsmanship because his dads a knight! hes going to be exposed to at least a little bit at an early age. he was insistent on wanting to learn, so with the power of sticks, pot lids, and a lot of positive reinforcement, he learned how to do the movements of swordfighting. he'd never been given a proper sword until the guard brought him to zora's domain. lost's dad never wanted to force the position of hero onto him, so he never gave him a sword. everyone knows that he's the hero except him, and lost's dad would rather keep it that way until he's old enough to climb mount lanayru (it happens much earlier than that) now abt the fucking "According to tales told by the long-lived Zora, Link visited Zora's Domain when he was younger and formed a bond with them, defeating a Lynel and teaching various skills to Zora children. This story sheds light on both his physical abilities and his strength of character." from creating a champion just like. isn't canon in this. the only other recorded time lost fought a lynel in zoras domain was when he was already zelda's guard and he was not younger. so by proxy it must've been when he was four WHICH ISN'T HAPPENING SORRY GUYS!!!! i'm not having a four year old fight a lynel hero or not!!!! it's referenced in lost hero canon (the soldiers accompanied made jokes and tried to egg lost on but it got shut down real quick since a. his dad was there and b. literally anyone who have thinking caps would go "yeah um... no actually!") and now its fanon time :))) when lost was in the army, he was usually trained separately from the other knights, mostly because of skill difference. as a CHILD he was able to clear soldiers, he needed different training period. as for the actual formal training, it was extremely strict. terrible conditions stemmed from an awful reward "system" (that usually led to lost being extremely fatigued and starting an endless loop of punishment. there is a reason why lost can push through awful conditions: hes used to it) all blanketed with the justification of "he's the hero of hyrule." they trained him to be a weapon, not a person. he doesn't have a sense of self nor an identity outside of "hero" "champion" or "weapon." things like "brother" got stripped from him when he joined the academy. they didn't bother with setting up a future for him. he eventually figures his shit out but thats YEARS down the line, and even then he's still suffering from this,,,, self objectification? idk how else to describe it when he wasn't getting grilled for "not swinging his sword hard enough" or having his foot a centimeter off even though he hasnt had the privilege of Basic Necessities To Survive in (insert timeframe) he was usually doing something in the coliseum. as it turns out, having the hero show off in front of an audience by fighting a lynel (or multiple) is a GREAT money maker! shame he wasnt usually told beforehand!

being forced into heroism is a big reason as to why hes the silent knight. he never wanted this. being separated from his family (whom of which i have Many thoughts about. same for his childhood honestly) and surrounded by strangers who have no care for who he is but rather what he stands for was absolutely awful, and only made worse by his age. being silent and just dealing with it is how he coped, and its eventually going to boil over (just give it a few years) his knight training was one of THE worst things to happen to him, right under failing to save his kingdom and inadvertently being the cause of hyrule's demise. it's the reason why he acts the way he does. he wasn't allowed to forget, so instead it influences almost everything he does, says and thinks. SO YEAH IT WASNT A GOOD TIME

[natasha-in-space]

I got a yoosung angst prompt cuz its fun to put the most sunshine guy through the worst traumas

How do you think his relationship will mc be post Bad Ending 3. Yeah its the ending where Unknown kidnaps and tortures him. Lets assume that he eventually got rescued and nearly died in the process (cuz Unknown badly hurt him in a fit of rage) but he survives....he lives

But whats gonna be after that how the whole ordeal is gonna affect his relationship with his S/O because it is going to be tough for both the parties. Ofc yoosung who was directly affected by the ordeal will need alot of therapy, and love and support. But it was quite tough for mc too.... if anything yoosung route does, it shows us the fact that losing a loved one is traumatic, nearly losing one too as well and MC also was traumatised and is guilt ridden (maybe i should have tried harder to stop him had i knew this would happen is a constant thought in her head) she also becomes somewhat protective of him because he has been through enough and deserves to get the best of the world.....but while mc is well intentioned in her actions....it somehow stings Yoosung, he is the one who should be protecting her, he should be the proactive one in the relationship....thats what he thinks. It makes him feel small....besides he can also see her running herself thin for him....and he just wants to not be a burden to her...

I rambled alot im sorry but i wanna see your take. As always i just wanna let you know I love your writing

Well, the unfortunate thing that I just can't help but bring up is that... Bad Ending 3 happens due to the player's (MC's) actions. That's not how it works in real life, of course, but with the structure of MM's storyline, that's how it plays out, and that's how it's meant to be interpreted by the player. In that ending, MC prioritizes themselves first, and encourages Yoosung self-sacrificial tendencies for their own benefit (or, well, safety, to be more exact). MC's actions are what led Yoosung to sacrifice himself in that ending in the first place. And that's also the reason behind his seeming resolve with what Unknown is putting him through in the aftermath.

'It's okay. I'm protecting them. They wanted me to keep them safe. So they wouldn't be scared. I need to stay strong for them. I'm doing this for them. Because I love them. Because I don't want to be in the dark and not do anything like it happened with Rika.'

So both sides of the argument are dealing with a messy tangle of emotions to deal with. And if you do want to imagine a better resolution to all of this, it'll probably involve a lot of conversations between the two.

Your dynamic between each other is unbalanced in that particular ending. And that's something that needs to be fixed. MC should take more care of Yoosung's well-being first before their own and believe in him, while Yoosung needs to work on his anxious attachment style.

It is difficult, though, because Yoosung's worst traits got the best of him as a direct result of MC's actions. The situation is pretty similar to those who want to imagine a better solution to Jumin's 2 Bad Ending. While it's possible, it needs to be acknowledged that MC is the one who needs to put most of the work in.

In my opinion, what would their relationship be like? Well, if we assume that MC does feel guilty for everything that happened, that's a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. Yoosung got hurt. Bad. Both physically and mentally. And he'll probably dismiss it too. It's important to remember that in this particular ending, he's devoted to you to an unhealthy extent. Not the same as in his 1 Bad Ending, but in a very self-sacrificial way. He'll probably just smile at you and say that he's happy you're safe. That that was the only thing he ever wanted. And that he held out for so long because he remembered what you told him, and how scared you were.

So... it's a pretty heavy situation for MC to be in. It's one thing to have your loved one disregard their well-being for you, but it's completely different when it's the direct consequence of your own actions.

Many apologies need to be made. Even if Yoosung doesn't understand why you're apologizing to him. Lots of talks to be had. And lots of very slow and steady progress to be made.

It's possible to come up with a better resolution to this mess. But it'll require a lot of work and patience from both MC and Yoosung. It does make a very interesting story to think about, though!

[dear-diary-mood-apathetic]

brb im fucking bawling

life story/rambling under cut

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately. A lot of revisiting things Id have been much happier to leave in the past.

I always hated hearing how one day it would get better. Because I knew that it wouldnt be that easy. I knew I wouldnt just wake up one day and feel fine. And I think more than anything, I was scared that being okay meant losing the most integral part of my child/teen self: my rage.

I was an emotional kid growing up. I'd cry at everything and anything and all I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. It was a burden I undertook personally at far too young of an age. Be it the eggshells I took my first steps on or the guilt I'd never let go of simply for the inconvenience of being born a baby. I saw things a child shouldnt have to see and handled emotions and situations far too grown up for a second grader. When I started to understand this, thats when I started to get angry.

I knew that the way I was treated wasnt okay, and by the time I would turn ten I'd gotten violent. I escaped into the comfort of horror media and would often find myself locked away in my dark bedroom on my phone for hours at a time scouring the corners of the internet for the next disturbing thing I could find. But I was just a kid. And that would send me down a multi-year psychotic episode that left me feeling isolated and terrified. And even more angry. I started getting into fights whenever the opportunity arose outside of the house. I wasnt even in middle school yet, but I was filled with blind, white hot rage already.

Once I made it to middle school though, some of the anger had festered into a chronic depression that felt like emotional rot. I developed a lot of awful habits and worsened a few Id picked up prior. I hurt a lot of people in my spiral downward and I still regret many of those things to this day. I was hurting and determined to make other people hurt too. But it only felt fair to me at the time; if I have to go home to my dads cruelty every single day, what did it matter who I hurt? They were supposed to feel bad for me.

It wouldn't be until about 2020 that things started to finally look up. I got my first job against my dads will, and this would be the decision that changed my entire life. I finally started to understand that I wasn't bound by my dads judgement. I met the people who would let me move into their apartment after a shitty roommate situation. And most importantly I met my boyfriend.

I went through a few relationships and there were a few roadblocks before it finally worked out for us to get together. Including my dads impulse choice to move himself, me, and my pregnant stepmother to South Carolina with no actual shelter built except a camper for them and a tent for me in July of '22. But after being friends for about a year and a half, we finally started dating in August. That November, he and one of our then mutual friends made an 8+ hour drive to pick me up on my eighteenth birthday. I turned 18 on November 6th and they started driving on the fifth. If it werent for them I'd still be stuck in South Carolina!

I really think I have my boyfriend to thank for who I am today. When we met I was sixteen and didnt plan on making it to eighteen. I dont think I wouldve without him. Hes been the most supportive and patient person as I've worked to heal a lot of wounds he didn't cause. Ive only been able to do the reflection and self help I needed because of him. I've been allowing myself to let go of the anger Ive defined myself with for so long and its scary. But I think Im going to like the gentler version of myself. The version he deserves.

Because for once in my life I feel like I'm safe. The eggshells are gone. A quiet house doesn't mean tension and a loud one no longer means violence. I can breathe and rest for the first time in a long time. I slept with an eye open for a while, but I think its finally safe to close them both.

[linawritestwst]

hello!! can i request a twst matchup pls?? ty!! my pronouns are they/them and im intp-t and my zodiac sign is virgo.

my pronouns are they/them and im intp-t and my zodiac sign is virgo. 

my personality: im really shy and kind of awkward when socializing others bcos im not really good interacting with them so i just stay in the sideline where i observe people and their behavior and thats the reason why people depict me as intimidating and hard to approach and also bcos of my stoic expression too but when im with my close friends, im really bubbly and more comfortable with them. im really quite moody sometimes and i also tend to overthink things. i always listen to my friends whenever they're having a problem and just be there for them sometimes pitching in some advice now and then. im also the type of person to run away from their problems and tend to push people away bcos i dont want to burden them, i also laugh at small things, im also the type of person to read a body language very well bcos of my observant nature. i also get insecure with my appearance too 

my hobbies/likes includes writing stories and reading books, poetry composition, learning about stars and outer space, watching horror videos on yt especially analog horror, staying up all night writing down my ideas about my next stories, sleeping, i also have a fascination to ocean and i tend to stare at it, dark academia, i also like abandoned places especially if its haunted, i also love matcha green tea, i also like dark clothes, i like simple baggy sweaters and jeans, i really love a meadow full of lavenders 

my dislikes are loud people including loud places too, vegetables (depends on my mood), worms, hot weather, arrogant people 

what i look for in a partner: someone loyal and kind, will be there for me through thick and thin, someone who i can trust since i have trust issues

i would prefer not to date someone who is a cheater, playboys bcos i really despise those kind of people, secretive, someone who doesnt appreciate me, abusive, toxic in general.

i also prefer not to be match with the first years bcos i only view them in a platonic way but second and third years are okay!! ty!! 🍂💫

YAY I'M A VIRGO AND INTP-T TOO LET'S GO!! and i hope you like your matchup!

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

malleus draconia!

i'll explain why i chose him:

you don't have to worry about being "too shy" or anything like that when you're with malleus. you don't have to talk a lot or act in a more extroverted way if you're uncomfortable, but if you're in the mood for that, malleus would love to hear your thoughts and talk more. and oh, people think you're intimidating too? he sure can relate to that. and please, don't think of yourself as a burden to him. don't push him away, you have no idea how happy you actually make him.

malleus would find your observant nature quite interesting as well and he would think that it's amazing how you're capable of noticing the small details that no one else would think about. he finds your interests and hobbies fascinating, you sound like one of the smartest people he's ever met. and hello?? you love abandoned places too?? that's it, most of your dates are going to be you two visiting places like that now. haha, don't worry though, malleus is probably definitely gonna try to come up with something else. also he can be your dark academia bf

malleus would be a very loyal partner, he doesn't want you to feel as lonely and left behind as he feels sometimes. he's still learning how relationships work, so he may ask lilia for advice and he may make mistakes sometimes, for example, he may be a bit clingy since you're so precious to him, but he's willing to grow as a person and learn how to be a better partner for you.

[lesbianpepsi]

You don't have to respond or anything. I actually feel bad for writing this bcs i don't wanna burden anyone with this but if i don't say anything I'll lose it.

TW for R-word, PTSD, Depression, Self-harm and just really bad thoughts overall.

I'm honestly going insane. I don't even feel real anymore and it sounds corny and dumb but I truly don't. Nothing is helping, no therapy or any amount of pills are working for me. It's like, everytime I'm left to my own thoughts, I go crazy.

I hate it, I hate how I can't remember anything from 6-11 years old other than my cousin and his friend, the only childhood memories I have is my cousin and his friend r-wording me. They're 6 years older than me, I was just a kid. Barely 6, they were preteens. I don't understand why this happened to me and I'm so angry. I can barely sleep, 2 hours a night is amazing for me. But even in my sleep I have nightmares. They're awful, I wake up crying and covered in sweat. When I'm at school, one second I'll be fine and the next all I can feel is him and his friend. Its been years since I've last seen them but they're still there and they won't go away. I can still smell them, feel them, hear them. It's like it's happening all over again and I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do with myself. Everytime I think about having to live with this for the rest of my life, I feel an overwhelming sensation of just straight up agony. My chest hurts, my throat closes up and my eyes get watery. I'm tired of crying every night. I can't live in peace, these flashbacks I get are awful. It's like a flash of pictures in my head and my body reacts to it, like I'm a little kid with two grown men hurting me all over again. I tried fighting back of course, he just didn't feel pain. No matter how hard I kicked and punched and bit him. He wouldn't even flinch, it felt like God or whoever is supposedly up there, was on his side. It still feels like that. I can't even begin to understand why, if God is so powerful and real, why did he let that happen to me? It feels like it's my fault, God punished me for something I did and I just have to deal with it.

I hate how I'd let it happen all over again. Because at least it was just me, he threatened to hurt my sisters if I didn't let him and his friend. I didn't really have a choice, I couldn't let them go through that. So I'm grateful that he stuck to his word and my sisters are fine, I don't know what would happen to me or what'd I would do if they were hurt like i was and honestly still am. I'm sorry, I just feel so lost and faded. If that makes sense? I don't know what's happening to me and I'm scared of that. Thank you and have a goodnight, sorry for this shit I sent you but I wholeheartedly would snap if I stayed silent.

hey anon, it's alright i totally understand just wanting to say anything you've been thinking about.

i firstly wanna say im so sorry for everything's thats happened to you, nobody on earth deserves to go through that, im so sorry my love. and it was not your fault, the only person that's at fault is that scum, not you. you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.

i understand it's really hard and finding it so incredibly hard to find the point in trying to continue when you feel like you aren't getting better at all, but from my experience it does get better, it might take days, months or even years but eventually it does.

if you ever want to talk it vent anon feel free to send me a private message, i'm always here to help absolutely anyone, even if it's just to vent and get everything off of your chest.

i'm so sorry, my love, you're loved and i hope everything gets better for you❤️🫂

[possessionisamyth]

things i need to unpack

-the gender thing

I remember bringing up the possibility of talking T to a sister in university to which she immediately dissauded me saying i didn't need it and shouldn't do that, no idea what her intentions were or if she was trying to be supportive but i guilted that idea out of me by doing research and convincing myself its not worth the effort, i still dont know if i think its worth the effort or not, but i do need to sort through this

i also remember discovering the term androgynous and running with it only for a group of well meaning friends to further prod me on the definition as if that weren't enough (this was during the time where a bunch of lgbt terms were being brought back into the normal language while others where being created) so I don't blame them but it did kinda make me hate labels if mentioning one meant id be asked to constantly elaborate

-the sexuality thing

I floated between a lot of labels as i was learning them, the first one being bisexual since in highschool there was only gay straight or bi, and a lot of queer online discussion changed between me graduating high school and me leaving university

did latch onto the term "demisexual" when it dropped because it felt like me, but was questioned again when trying to explain it and was told "isnt that just what everyone does?" didn't take this response as maybe they were on the same wavelength and proceeded to have the most uncomfortable and irritated relationship with the concept of asexuality ever since, resorted to sorting myself into simply having a low sex drive and maybe not having met the right person yet, didn't help that the people i was dating or interested in at the time were all some level of shitty or uncommunicative sometimes with the bonus of expectations on me I couldn't meet

realizing now that ive guilted myself out of the idea and it just mixed in with my weird and fluctuating relationship with my body making me feel justified for being a dick

-other thoughts

Also realizing now my people pleasing habits, desire to not be a burden on anyone, and letting my own feelings be ignored or bottled up for the sake of other people's comforts did just as much hindrance for my personal journey as learning all the new information helped said journey

i lashed out at people i shouldn't have, over stepped boundaries i didn't comprehend, and came off all wrong when i was learning to set my own boundaries and trying to hate myself less, there were a lot of pivots trying to curb that self hatred, some better than others, others that resulted in me having to navigate around these coping methods i no longer need and no longer help me

I think i do have a lot of unspoken anxiety about whether im allowed to be angry or sad or upset about myself and my relationships because there have been many times where i try to voice those feelings and I'm told I shouldn't respond that way, and ive unfortunately done the same to others, and i think i do need to let myself sit in my bad moods so i can actually process them instead of trying to constantly shove it to the back of my mind and pretend it isnt there

and i can recognize ive said things that have hurt people or made them upset because of all of this shit ive listed and i cant go back and fix most of it because my running into those people are very slim and thats just the nature of life

But, i think to really sort of heal I'll need to start saying whats for me and that what i say is enough

So I think i am demisexual and androgynous nonbinary and I think if i ever want to start taking T that'll be my decision and no one elses and i still have to unpack the baggage and the guilt but i can keep moving forward, and if those labels change than thats good too and it wont be because someone else made me feel bad directly or by accident for making a decision

[dontpunchdogs]

thoughts for today ! under a read more bcos it got long. yelling into the void.

ive always been hard to deal with - too sensitive to sounds, lights, temperature, texture, easily hurt by words, easily overwhelmed by other people, easily feeling left out among friends, too annoying, too loud but too quiet, needing too much reassurance, needing to feel wanted, needing needing needing. ive known this a long time. ive heard it from my parents countless times, had friends say they only hung around me out of pity, had partners say i was the most supportive partner theyd ever had; yet i need too much, my feelings are too confusing or too hard to consider, "i knew youd be upset but i didnt want to tell you and make you more upset" again and again and again.

no matter how small i tried to be, how light of a burden i made myself, its really never enough. i dont get what i need, my patience is worn thinner and thinner, and "suddenly" i snap. "suddenly" i disappear. as though there werent signs. as though i hadnt been begging for someone to care. as though i havent put others feelings and comfort above my own for years, been intentional, been thoughtful, been honest (in fairness, honest about everything besides the extent to which id been hurt) and made it clear how i love and how i want my efforts to be reciprocated.

i'm tired of it. i always thought i shouldnt live if nobody cared about me enough to pick me first. thats all ive ever wanted, really. someone to walk in a room full of people they care for and choose me out of everyone. someone who id choose over anything, even my own comfort when reasonable, and to know they'd do the same. just one person, and then i can handle everyone else letting me down, just one person, please, just one, one person, please, for once, just once.

i always find myself so fucking disappointed. maybe my standards are too high - the fact no one can meet me there makes me sad, but the idea of lowering my standards made me sadder. i can take disappointment, a lot of it, and i don't expect perfection. sometimes you cant give even 50% of your energy. sometimes you need to pick someone else. sometimes you need to pick a friend over a partner, or yourself over anyone else. but i cant handle the degree to which people constantly ignore my needs, or disregard them to indulge their wants.

im trying to rewire my brain now! im going to live, whether someone picks me or not. im going to care for others as much as i can, as hard as i can, but im going to limit those who disturb my peace. im going to put myself first, often as i can, or at least as often as id put others. i know what i need, and id do it for someone else - why not do it for me? why continue trying for people who cant be assed? why continue trying when im just difficult and draining?

today i had an overstimulating day at work. i still went to the grocery store, as id planned, because i needed to. when i drove home, i felt like id have a meltdown. instead i made myself laugh by seeing just how many bags i could carry at once. something stupid and simple, but i felt like i was good company. i put everything away. i made my lunch for tomorrow. i tried a new tea that i picked out and actually finally found one i liked. i ran a hot bubble bath. i washed my hair, my back, my body as though i was someone i loved. and i felt loved.

it was really nice. im holding onto that joy.

ive realized just how much pain other people tend to put me through. why, then, should i hinge my right to my life on my relationship with others?

im going to live. fuck anything else. fuck everybody whos ever made me feel like a fucking burden. if its soooo hard dealing with me, imagine fucking being me. i deserve so much better.

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. wonder woman old head lefty eyebag 😅

Ah I am the same way with remembering things. I think I am slowly forgetting a lot of things and I hate it. You remember people's voices? So you can identify it with your eyes closed?

Oh wow. That's impressive. So when you write, the whole thing just flows right away? Like, do you just write everything that pops up in your head as you narrate the story to yourself?

Eh, I'll be fine. I just want my brain to shut up for once haha but thank you, I don't wanna burden you with my problems.

What would you consider an extreme kink?

Let's see, 3 songs about the happiest moments..

1. Only Exception

2. From This Moment/You're still the one (it's a cover mash up)

3. Hero

Okay name 3 songs that you didn't expect to like but then ended up loving.

-CuriousGeorge

Hii corn-punn righty eyebag. sorry for the late reply.. i didnt expect that u r still awake. 😅

Yeah sometimes it sucks when u forget things easily.. 😁

Didnt mean to brag, but yes sometimes i can. I think i can. Haha. For example, when i work at the restaurant, when i pick up the phone for people calling to go order, mostly i know the regular customer who calls just from their hello or the beginning of their calls, n i remember their order. Especially the nice one 😁 or sometimes when i watch movies like animation, or the character have heavy make up, sometimes i could recognize whose voice is that. N i always try to guess it then i google it. N sometimes i guess it right.😅

I also recognize people from their face but in terrible with remembering names or numbers.

N wanna knownsomething funny? Because i recognize voice n faces, i found n noticed my regular customers when i was on vacation on different state or city. It happened 3 or 4 times in different places. 😅🤣 hawaii, lake tahoe, and new orleans. I forgot the other place, i think it was alaska.

Hmm sometimes the ideas or words flow pretty well when i write but sometimes not. Sometimes i have to google synonyms of a bunch of words to avoid using the same words too often.

N yeah mostly i write whatever in my mind n then i will recheck, fix, add, remove or change what ever i need or i have to.

Im sorry, darling. But remember, u will never be a burden. I like to listen to people. When people vent to me, i feel good because it means they trust me enough.

Hmm okay, let me changed, what i meant is like too detailed kink.. i would still put some kinks in it but i wont do it too much.

Extreme kinks to read in fics,hmm.. it's kinda hard to explain. I like reading dom/sub dynamic, i dont mind reading bdsm as long as it's not too much.

My answer probably : age play (like smut littles or people who has age regression) , i dont like if it's too much pet play. I dont like piss kink. Or extreme bdsm that involve pain. Thats all i could think off right now. What about u?.

I can say that i'm pretty open with kinks in fics i read..

Oh okay.. those r nice songs. 😊

3 songs that i didnt expect to like it n end up loving it:

1. Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) by Silento

2. No Limit by G-eazy feat. Cardi B.

3. Favourite Girl by Justin Bieber

What about u?

Next question?

Cheerio!

[t0shii]

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

[gennabi]

i'm not going anywhere

takashi x reader (no prns) • 1.5k

platonic; fluff, slight humour, comfort

ft. takashi x hakkai (romantic), slight chifuyu x reader (platonic)

[ aka taka being a bff n brother figure , reader and hakkai has some sort of bff vs bf rivalry , slight slander to hakkai lol (i love him i promise) , a bathing scene so there's nudity , taka crying n relying on reader bcs yes saur true , luna calls reader "-chan" only to emphasize closeness ^^ ]

🎶 lean on me - seventeen

request :

hay!!! so like i was wondering if you could do a Takashi Mitsuya x reader where like they're SUPER duper close to eachother but doesn't have feelings

this kind of scenario where like they take a bath together, nun else they just chill and talk. PLATONIC FEELINGS ykk?

im sorry if i dont make sense this is like my first req ever T T

SORRY I NOTICED THIS SUPER LATE you accidentally sent it to my submission instead of asks but thats completely fine, ill just off my submission from now on so misunderstandings wont happen again :)

BUTTT YESSSS I KNPW I SQUEALED WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS 😭💖💖 i want bff taka to baby and scold yes you saw that right me so bad :(

dw abt it!! this is my first request here too so im grateful more than anythg :D 💖💞💞

tokyo revenger masterlist | main masterlist

"you forgot your morning coffee."

takashi strides into your class at seven sharp, doing what he's been doing for the past year without fail. you take the canned espresso from him, the cold surface slightly jolting you awake as you smile, "thanks." he looks down to your desk and sees the half-filled worksheet and sighs. "what did you do last night?." his voice similar to the tone he would use whenever luna and mana did a mistake. but he's not your brother so you literally have no reason to hang your head down low.

yet your reply comes in a mutter anyway and takashi frowns, and now you feel like a disappointment (ironic how you're thinking this as if you won't repeat it tomorrow) as you clear your voice. "chifuyu found a link to the jujutsu movie yesterday so...," you trail off as you lift your head, takashi's eyes piercing into yours. you gulp. "yeah.."

the lavender-haired guy heaves out another sigh. then, he sits himself down on the chair opposite you. you blink. turning the book so that it faces him, he begins to do his thing as his hand skillfully circles here and there with the same pen─ your pen ─he's been using for the last month. maybe you should buy him a matching one.

you don't notice you've been staring at him for the past few minutes until he lightly taps your nose with the pen.

"did you even hear what i was saying? honestly, what would you even do without me, y/n?"

"taka-chaannnnnn."

is this why people say they hate rain? you muse to yourself when the white, now-transparent shirt starts to become one with your skin, exposing your body and now, everyone is going to fall in love with you. you would have to shoulder this big burden of being thousands' crush. they're going to think you're effortlessly sexy and-

"don't tell me you forgot your umbrella too."

your bestfriend's voice disrupts your thought process and you reply with a side glance. only then you notice his other best friend standing beside him. you can recognize that almost bald, blue-haired guy anywhere. how dare he took away your position of takashi's fanclub leader. though you're not entirely opposed to it since the guy's been giving your best friend literal heart eyes just for literally breathing. idiots. one of these days, you might as well trip hakkai and make takashi catch him or something.

shaking your head, you pout. "was only waiting for you, taka." takashi purses his lips at that before saying, "sorry y/n, toman has a sudden meeting today."

right. toman.

"then i guess i can't really beg you to change your schedule then," your pout deepens, "toman is important after all." the first division captain slips off his sweater and instructs you to lift your hands before putting it on you. he then taps your cheek as if it'll help comfort you. it helps. "when i'm finished, promise we'll take a bath later together okay. we'll use that bath bomb you dearly love, is that okay with you?" he says this as he looks at you. and it seems to do its magic when your eyelids flutter close and hands reaching out to hug his form. "that, and you better let me hog the blanket tonight." you mumble and he simply nods. (and hakkai in the back is now curving his lips downwards. how dare you take a bath and sleep with taka-chan before he can?)

your best friend unlatches himself from you after a moment, patting your head as a sign of parting. "i have to go now. take care, bub." you wave them off as they continue their walk and you hug the sweater tighter. you won't be looking au de naturel anymore but you suppose it's fine since it's your best friend's clothing covering you.

you were playing fortress with luna and mana when the bell suddenly dings. the three of you rejoice and choruses of "taka-nee is back!!" echoes through the house before the door is opened.

takashi chuckles when his sisters immediately lunges for each of his legs, their tiny hands holding it like there's no tomorrow. he makes an effort to walk into the living room and you immediately reach for his bag to help the trudging guy. and again, takashi's future boyfriend is here. hakkai catches the way your eyes look him up and down and immediately defends himself, "i'm babysitting those two." your expression lightens and you skip to him to whisper, "don't lie, you want to ogle taka's body right? not like you haven't done it though."

when takashi turns and spots his best friend cackling while his other best friend drops to the ground, a soft smile blooms onto his face.

ah. they're getting along well.

"man, i'm so tired~" you whine as you start to discard your clothes meanwhile your best friend checks the water temperature. he makes sure it's slightly warm before filling in the bathtub. you were searching for your favourite bath bomb when he replies, "tell me about it."

"i still don't get why the school insists us to change to our uniforms after p.e." a prompt 'aha!' leaves your lips when you find what you've been looking forward to and you continue, "it's not like you immediately shoo the bad smell away just because you wear another uniform. it just adds the amount of smelly clothes you have to wash! and also the club activities! why did i even join them in the first place.. sure it's fun but i didn't ask for the president position..!" you wail out as you close back the cabinets dramatically.

he lovingly rolls his eyes and begin to unbutton his shirt, "isn't hakkai the vice president though? depend on him a little, i think he's very reliable─", he immediately corrects himself, "no. he is reliable." you take your usual spot on a small chair beside the tub as you wait for the water to reach a certain level. when it does, he gets in and you throw in the bath bomb. "it's mine but you're the one using it first, huh." you jokingly scoff and he chuckles.

you let the silence fills the air then as you start to wash his hair with the shower. you pump out the shampoo before your hands work skillfully through his scalp, massaging every single spot with precision. you have chifuyu to thank this ability for. you don't know how and why he knows how to massage, but you swear he's a jack of all trades.

you thought takashi had dozed off when he suddenly starts, "you have to learn to depend on others you know." and you just had to burst your lungs right there and then because, "say that to yourself then, taka." "this is why i hate you."

"no but seriously," you wash off the shampoo on your hands, "would it be that bad to say 'hey, i'm actually struggling right now'? you know i'm always here, right?"

and it's true. even now, he's asking about you first. right after an important meeting and his first concern is to know how your day went. it's unfair, you think. he's your best friend but you're his best friend too.

he feels the water running through his hair when you continue rambling, "you don't even have to explain if you don't want to. you can just say 'i don't feel good today' and i'll do everything to make you feel better. cuddles, food, even money─ not too much money though, i'm not that rich. but anyway, my point stands. rely on me a bit, yeah?"

you're met with no response so when you stand to get a better look, takashi is immediately ducking his face away from you, "dude, what the f─ shit, you're crying─ oh, um─ fuck what do i do─." in your panic, you try to copy a scene you've seen from a movie in attempt to soothe him. cupping his cheeks so that he looks at you, your fingers delicately brush away his tears.

takashi cries beautifully. not that you want him to ever cry again. but his tears are silent, his sobs contained to himself and himself only. you don't think this is the first time he cried. but you're glad that this time, and the next ones, you'll be there right beside him.

"hey. hey. i'm here. takashi, i'm here."

you stare at him with a heavy feeling in your stomach, watching as he tries to blink the tears away but at your words, he feels like a baby again and those tears fall down faster. "it's alright, come here." you try your best to give him a hug from your position and he immediately caves in.

his hands loop around your neck a little tighter when you whisper for the nth time, "i'm here. it's okay."

bonus:

"why is it so quiet in there?," luna pulls hakkai's sleeve and points to the toilet, "y/n-chan is always baam this and that but it's so quiet today." hakkai softly smiles, "i'm sure they're alright. or y/n-san would've been screaming," and the two little girls laugh at that, nodding their head in agreement.

"now, who wants to watch jujutsu kaisen 0?"

advertising jjk 0 bcs i can

[morbidly-malicious-muffins]

What Kind of Music Slashers Would Vibe to Headcanons♪

This little thing popped into my head. Fyi, the canon timelines are thrown out the window for this so... Yeah.

Bring forth the bop~

RZ Michael Myers

"Let my weapons be your children, let my armies be your damned. Try to suffer on in silence, try to stop me if you can." --- This Cold Black by Slipknot

I think he'd really enjoy metal in general. I can totally see him unknowingly stomping to some Marilyn Manson and Meshuggah, though the lyrics and message probably will just fly over his head.

He listens to some heavy shit, but probably all the more mainstream bands/artists.

The loudness and organized chaos of the genre fills the void in his soul and reflects the state of his mind, despite his stoic and non-verbal outer demeanor.

Someone please do everyone a favor and introduce Michael to some death metal. Admit it, it really fits his aesthetic.

This is just based on speculation, but I suspect a 70% possibility of RZ Michael resonating with Cannibal Corpse. Fight me.

He hates classical music with a burning passion. Back in Smith's Grove, they played Bach's Air Sul G on tap. (its canon in the first movie lmao) He hates it. Mikey no likey.

Freddy Krueger

"No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it, nobody's gonna mess me around." --- Highway to Hell, by AC/DC

Freddy listens to classic rock, period.

This guy is ngl a supporter of music taste discrimination. You listen to pop? Disgusting. You listen to Jazz? Disgusting. Classic rock is the epitome of all music.

He'll call you music-related slurs you never knew existed.

As stubborn adamant as Freddy is, he does harbor some guilty pleasures, including 70's hair metal and glam rock. Pshh. What a heckin hypocrite.

Some of his all time favorites are Guns N' Roses, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, and AC/DC.

(Basic bitch)

*Hip thrust movements to go with his 'The Sprinkler' dance moves, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses blasting in the background*

OG Michael Myers

He doesn't listen to music, but if he did, he would probably enjoy Jazz.

Michael only listens to Miles Davis because he enjoys his music and can't be bothered to discover more artists.

Oml Michael I know Miles Davis is amazing but don't neglect other iconic artists plzzz. Someone please make him listen to some Teddy Wilson and/or Dave Brubeck.

I imagine him sitting stiff-straight on a rocking chair (he just likes how it moves), knife in his lap, rocking and zoning-out relaxing to 'Blue in Green'. (I love that piece)

#AfterHeFinallyKillsLaurie

#RetirementGoals

He also hates classical music because of the same reason as RZ Myers. Seriously, if either of them so much as hears the opening chord of Air Sul G, expect the speaker to be stomped to a pulp in a split second.

Bubba Sawyer

Alright let's all be honest with ourselves... 70's pop and country is Bubba's shit.

Look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't adore ABBA, The Jackson 5, and Dolly Parton. Thats right you can't

Everytime 'Dancing Queen' starts playing on the radio, Bubba will drop everything and start busting down.

Ain't nothing and nobody stoppin him. Drayton is powerless against the supreme sovereignty that is ABBA.

But let's also appreciate the fact that our Bubster can motherfuckin get down. *wipes sweat from forehead + heart eyes*

He would also do passionate lip sync with his heart and soul, to Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You'.

50% chance of him starting to cry right after he finishes his earnest performance.

*Holding Bubba in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back as he bawls hysterically, incoherently babbling on about how much he loves you*

I also feel for some reason he'd really like Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.

Thomas Hewitt

"For one moment, I wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all. Open minded, I'm sure I used to be so free." --- Citizen Erased by Muse

Y'know what I have a hard time imagining the type of music Tommy listens to. Kutos, Mr. Hewitt, you have defeated me.

siKE

(This is where I yeet the timeline out of the window y'all)

Thomas enjoys Muse, Evanescence, and Radiohead. (Fight me)

He just loves how emotional their songs are. He'd have one earbud in as he works away at his projects for hours. The music helps him concentrate, it is also a source of emotional support to him.

Hearing the heart-wretching lyrical content of 'Lost in Paradise' performed so beautifully by Amy Lee's angellic voice is really comforting to him. It's like hearing about another person's experiences. It makes him feel less alone in dealing with his emotional and mental turmoils and burdens.

The first time Thomas heard 'Creep' by Radiohead, he almost cried.

He also listens to My Chemical Romance sometimes. He only knows the Black Parade album, but he loves it. If 'Creep' didn't make him cry, listening to that entire album from top to bottom sure did. He started sobbing half-way through 'Famous Last Words'.

Tommy is emotional boi 🥺

Brahms Heelshire

C l a s s i c a l

No matter how stinky Brahms is, you can't tell me that he's not classy.

Schubert is his bitch. Schubert's style tends to be quite majestic and/or dreamy, (generally) and can change color/sound very abruptly yet appropriately. (This is just my opinion based on experience with Schubert's pieces, but then I only know his piano pieces soo) (let's still cue that maestoso to scherzando transition)

But of course, Schubert isn't the only thing he listens to. He prefers the romantic period, so Mendelssohn, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Shostakovich, Brahms, Schumann, you get the gist, all the staples. Oh yeah Elgar too. To be a proud English lad.

*Brahms swaying in the living room with the grace of a baby giraffe, engrossed in the beautiful melodies in Schumann's Kinderszenen.*

(Oml please check out 'Von fremden Landern und Manschen' and 'Kind im Einschlummern') (For those who play piano, they aren't that difficult too totally recommend) (Ok sorry I'm done now)

Brahms would totally waltz around alone to Chopin's waltzes and nocturnes.

Oh yeah apart from that classy shit, he likes to jam to meme songs.

"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play---"

*cut to Brahms passionately fortnite dancing*

Listens to The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals for a good laugh. (Please, all of his songs are gold)

Vincent Sinclair

He'll have 'emo' and 'classical' with a side of metal, thanks.

I headcanon that Vinny McWaxy is an INFJ, so the boy is likely prone to crippling existentialism. It would make sense for some aspects of his music taste to reflect that.

*cut to Vincent sitting rock-still on his workbench/stool, hands hover in mid-air, staring straight ahead, some John Cage piece playing*

You'll never hear this from Vincent but he enjoys sexy-time music. He has this whole erotic playlist he listens to while working. (Boy likes to feel sexy on the job, I respect that.)

I think its pretty much canon that Vinny loves MCR. (Hello fellow emo piece of shit 👋) His favorites are everything by them really. A hardcore fan. He used to have MCR, P!ATD, and 30 Seconds to Mars posters plastered everywhere in his workshop until he had to remove them all to add to the intimidation factor of his waxy hell for passer-bys. For the record, he is very gay for Frank Iero.

On the metal part of his spectrum is mostly classic metal, groove metal, and thrash/heavy metal.

Rammstein, Pantera, Vildhjarta, new and old Metallica, Dream Theatre, Coheed and Cambria. His bitches.

He also uses music to scare victims when bringing them down to his workshop. *cue horror movie soundtracks*

*KI KI KI MA MA MA*

Is a whore for the dramatics when in a good mood.

*Lacrimosa by Mozart plays as he makes a point to bring the wax painfully slowly down toward a drowsy and petrified victim*

A lament for your upcoming death, pitiful human.

Bo Sinclair

"The day has come for all us sinners, if you're not a servant you'll be struck to the ground." -- Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold

Bastard boy is into dad-music™. (same)

Dad rock, classic rock, pop punk, punk rock, old school pop, his shit.

He listens to a lot of the same bands as Freddy, but Bo (generally) doesn't discriminate and explores a more diverse variety of music.

Its a fandom canon that Bo loves Avenged Sevenfold. I totally agree.

A7x is the perfect amount of cynical, political, and shred for Beauregard, (I hc that ge hates his full name so plz don't ever call him Beauregard)

He listens to the radio whenever he's at work. Whatever that might be.

Will NEVER admit it, but he thinks Vinny's music taste is dope as hell.

He'll turn off the radio just to strain his ears to listen to Vincent's music downstairs. No one will ever know that though. You don't.

Actually likes classical music too. Its not one of his main genres but there's one piece he really likes, Second Movement of Shostakovich Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major.

He never thought he'd enjoy this type of music. Its so.... Calm. He discovered that piece from Vinny's playlist. When he first heard it on his brother's speaker, he fell in love. It was one of the extremely rare cases in which he'd be committed enough to ask Vinny the name of the music.

Tiny shuffle for man-kind, huge fuckin step for Bo. Good job Bo, we're proud of you.

Also pleeeeeaaase message me or request stuff, I'm bored and have little inspiration 🦊

I might do a pt2 of this, since I didn't write many of the boys and gals🤷‍♀️

Also sorry if I've neglected some genres/artists (Like i've neglected non-piano classical pieces.... Bc ya girl is just a pianist), a person can't know everything😗

---Zali 🖤

[akookminsupporter]

Well i never assumed JK is straight because they chose him. What made me doubt wasnt them choosing JK. It was Tae's and Jimin's reaction. You and the anon who tried to explain it to me got me wrong. Besides i know why RM chose JK. That has nothing to do with V choosing JK knowingly. Well like anon said they know more about each other and have inside jokes.

And thats exactly what im talking about.

Because V knows more about JK than us that he chose JK as the one who would be more likely to get married. As soon as NJ translated the question to them, Tae exclaimed JK, like you said, as if he knows smth we don't know. Jimin chose JK, as well. Same goes for popular with ladies question. Tae insisted 'Jk, Jk, Jk'

It might be something else, ofc. Which means it's open to interpret.

And don't get me wrong but it's ironic how you say 'i cant find any other explanation to this' when some suspicious jikook moment happens. But you suddenly have so many possibilites when some not-jikook moment happens. I'm not trying to fight you and i'm pretty sure people will come at me for saying this but i really want to get this out of my chest. 😅😅 (By you i mean not only you but all the poeple in this blog)

mean 0.5 second of Jikook moment is being talked for days without any problem. But when there is a moment that is not-a-jikook moment people say this:

“Somehow the burden of being able to explain every single thing they’ve ever said and done from a relationship perspective seem to fall so much heavier on jikook and jikookers. I wonder why that might be?” I will answer this anon: Because to some of us it sounds biased to explain one second jikook moment in paragraphs but not talk about other kind of moments.

And now in your case it's your blog and you have the right to share whatever appeals you, i can't argue with that. And if you say that 'its my blog i talk about whatever i want' you have all the right and i can't say anything to this, honestly. I will go away and shut up...

I'm glad you were able to get this off your chest.

[kuronanox]

Not enough - Byakuya Kuchiki

It amazed her that thee Kuchiki Byakuya was actually interested in her, it was so surreal. Everything came naturally, their conversations and body language was like they were in tune together. Everyone could see that he was finally finding some type of peace after hisana's passing. Everyone but the royal and noble housing even after hisana's passing they blame it on her being a commoner and now the horrible treatment was getting thrown at (Your Name) now.

No one has ever verbally abused her infront of Byakuya but when he was gone they talked down and degraded her. She would just ignore them and go on about her day. The first few months  were fine because no one knew they were dating but once the relationship started getting serious and she moved into the Kuchiki manor the negative comments came left and right into her head. Of course she didn't tell Byakuya and most of the time she stayed closed to him so she wouldn't have to hear the abusing comments.

It was another fall morning as they strolled around the manor getting fresh air. "What is your favorite season (Your Name)." Byakuya ask calmly as they walked side by side admiring the green plants and flowers turning a beautiful autumn red. "Hmm the time between fall and winter, it's never to cold or hot!" She smiles and grabs his arm gently as she hugs it as they continue striding around the manor. Of course as nobles showing affection wasn't allowed but she didn't care and as long as she was happy Byakuya didn't mind the gesture either. "I see." He replies as it turns to a comfortable silence between them.

"Have you talked to rukia recently?" She brings up looking at him now with worried eyes. "Of course, she's doing fine with the human substitute shinigami in the world of living right now." He answers reassuring her their relationship as gotten better by time.

"Hmm someone has gotten soft." She jokes and squeezes him tightly as he eyes widen a little bit and he softly smiles without her knowing of course, but the hug gets cut short as she sees a few elders walking towards them as she quickly pulls away from the affection and awkwardly bow and stays behind Byakuya. The elders speak to him about important matters about the Kuchiki house and he exchanges a few words. Byakuya looks at (Your Name) and he recently began to notice that her reitsu would fluctuate everytime she was around a royal or noble that didn't allow their relationship. Cutting the conversation short he gently grabs her hands with his and walks past the elders.

She looks at their hands and blushes softly. This was the first time he had ever showed affection towards her infront of anyone. "I'm sorry you don't have to do that... you know. I know the nobles don't like it." She starts loosening her grip now as his tighten. "When has that ever stopped you?" He asks now curious.

Byakuya knew she was always a loud mouth and her manners were certainly not presentable to other nobles. She liked to show her curves, didn't like wearing fancy clothes, did her own chores and curses a whole bunch, but for some reason that made him like her even more when they first met each other. Byakuya liked her because she possessed all the qualities he didn't have or wasn't allowed to do because it was unacceptable for the head of the clan to have.

"I know it's just, I don't want people to talk... you know." She sadly says and walks ahead a few steps before he silently follows her. "Oh I'm going out with Matsumoto tonight, girls night!" She smiles now changing the mood between them now.

"YEAH AND THEN THE OLD BITCH HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME THAT I WAS FAT AND MY FACE WAS TO BIG! AND IM LIKE AT LEAST IM NOT WALKING CLOSER TO MY GRAVE EACH DAY!" (Your Name) screams to Matsumoto, Nanao and Hinamori.

"She didn't!" Hinamori exclaims covering her mouth like a gossip girl.

"She did honey!"

"Ugh nobles, thats why you gotta go for the ugly guys and then you make them hot." Matsumoto shakes her head and pours another shots for them. Nanao facepalms and says "Everytime we meet up they always have something negative to say, why not just tell Kuchiki taicho?"

"Fuck that, I'm so tired of having to filter myself at the manor too! LIKE I WANT TO SCREAM FUCK, SHIT, BITCH BUT I CANT!"

Hinamori just laughs as Matsumoto takes the shot and nods furiously!

"Jesus." Nanao says just giving up.

"But you do anything for the one you love." (Your Name) softly says taking shot number 7. "Same." Matsumoto sulks as they both start crying together.

"So I'm guessing we are walking them home again." Nanao says as Hinamori just happily pour more shots for the two girls sulking across from her.

(Your name) safely gets back to the manor with the help of Hinamori, she was drunk but she was still able to recognize and act like she was normal. "Will Kuchiki taicho be upset that you drank a lot?"

"Nah, he's probably asleep anyways, thank you I'll take my leave now!" She smiles and gets into the manor.

Although it was hard to act sober she took her time to walk into their bedroom. There were still some maids and servants doing some choirs so she avoided them at all cost so she didn't look like a fool to them and ruin Byakuya image. Turning the corner to their room one of the oldest head maid was taking out the tea pot from the place.

"Drunk again I see." She sternly says with hatred in her eyes as (Your Name) just ignores the comment and proceeds to go into the room. The old lady prohibits her from entering. "You won't go in."

"Move or I'll move you myself." (Your Name) threaten to the lady as she doesn't bulge.

"You are only here because Byakuya Sama allows you to stay, but to everyone else in this house you bring disgrace and tarnish our name. You are a vulgar lady with no manners and inconsiderate, rude and foul mouth."

Byakuya stirs in his sleep waking up from talking coming out from infront of his room.

"And? I'm a hundred percent sure he knows how I am already, why do you care how I am. Yes I'm a commoner-" (Your Name) proceeds to argue but the older maids interrupts with a statement that broke her self confidence.

"At least Hisana Sama didn't go around and tarnish the name, she was lady like and knew how to contain herself unlike you."

(Your Name) hesitantly eyes widen she was sadden, no one had ever talked about Hisana. Behind closed door she was always being compared, she knew but no one was going to compare (Your Name) to another person let alone a past lover.

"You know, I get we are two different person but I'm sure she wouldn't have approve of you talking down about commoners because we know the struggle of having to act perfect all the time and keeping a imagine so we don't look bad for the family name. You wouldn't know old lady because you've never been discriminated. I know damn well everyday we tried our best for Byakuya and I'm glad she is in a better place and not down here where she would have still gotten the same treatment as me."

Byakuya had enough of the arguing as he swiftly gets out of the futon and towards the door before he stops when he hears (Your Name) continuing to defend him.

"If you ever wonder why Byakuya always act so cold is probably because he has to act perfect for the family and he carries the burden of our imagine and you guys give him shit for every little thing he does but he sucks it up because he was taught to. You guys don't see the sleepless nights he gets and the fights he put up to protect his people he loves. I won't stand here letting you talk down about me and his relationship when he has been the happiest since the death of his late wife. I won't let you take away his happiness. You guys think you know him but y'all don't know a thing. Weather you like it or not I'm leaving." (Your Name) passionately says to the old women as she angrily spoke up.

"You jus-"

Byakuya roughly opens the door to see a flushed (Your Name) and the head maid standing face to face. The maid not allowing her to enter the room. "That's enough, leave now." He harshly tells the head maid as she bows and apologize as she gives a sour look towards the girl before leaving.

There was an awkward silence in the air as she looks down and speaks. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be talking to the elders like that. I just got frustrated. I'll sleep at Matsumoto place tonight." She offered proceeding to walk away.

Byakuya grabs her hands and place them with his as he kisses her forehead and pulls her into a hug. "Why haven't you told me anything?" He asks as she calmly hugs him back and tears fall down. "You know I would have said something if you would have just communicate to me."

(Your Name) doesn't say anything as he rubs her back and leads her into bed with him. "I fell in love with you because of how you are, you don't have to act anymore." He proceeds to says as she gently nods.

Byakuya softly smiles and kisses her forehead again. "We deal with this together my love."

[looking4purpose]

SO....

My therapist decided to practice reciting facts, I found it a little bit grounding and I thought maybe some of you peeps needed to hear some of it. I like to paraphrase and he would probably shake his head at it haha

So....

here they are, paraphrased :)

These are just my opinions and personal experiences and words. Not those of a professional mental health expert, blah blah, Please don't take offense. If its not for you, its not for you. All that good stuff.

Trigger warning

Self harm can consist of SO many things. Seriously people stop thinking that your wrists need to be slashed in order for ypu to need help and support. EVERYONE deserves support no matter how insignificant it may feel. Self harm can be anything from cutting and starving yourself to scratching a bit too hard. If its hurting you INSIDE, it matters. Hell, maybe you just want to talk to someone.

SELF HARM IS NOT A GENDER SPECIFIC ISSUE!! If you couldn't tell by the caps...this one bugs me. You don't have to be female in order to hurt yourself. Thats the dumbest thing ever....just....no. And if you're female that doesn't make your struggle any less important either! People....everyone hurts. (Yeah... I get points for song reference there.)

Self harm OFTEN means, (not always i guess he said but I'm not buying it) that there's some underlying struggles too. Depression, eating disorders, anxiety, substance abuse, sexual abuse/molestation/etc., abuse, peer pressure, bullying, THE LIST GOS ON AND ON AND ON AND ON (more song reference points). Fact here.... Don't just tell these people to stop hurting themselves. Self harming is often used AS A COPING MECHANISM. Think about it, yes, it's unhealthy, but you rather them/yourself NOT cope with whatever is going on? A LOT of people don't have the resources or help they need and dont have "healthy coping tools" and dammit good for you for coping with all the shit life throws your way. THIS is not in ANY way saying you should hurt yourself, please don't BUT you're not bad or wrong for coping.

Self harm is NOT AN AGE SPECIFIC STRUGGLE OR "PHASE". Good grief if I hear that one more time imma kick some ass. Just because you're not a teen doesnt mean ypu need to be embarrassed to admit you self harm or reach out for help and support. Just because you are a teen, almost teen or young adult, doesn't mean it's just a phase or "age thing" and you shouldnt find help or support. ANYONE hurting inside and out, should be supported, no matter what age you are.

Just because you self harm, have in the past, or experienced anything like that, doesn't mean you're not beautiful. I mean it. Seriously. You're not ugly because of your scars or your weight or anything like that. That does not define who you are, only where you are, where you've been, battles you have overcome and sometimes, that people have let you down, not yourself Scars are not weaknesses, your weight is not a weakness, your personal hurt or struggles are not weaknesses. You are you, and if youre reading this and you personally resonate, than that means you've overcome a lot and you're strong as hell and you deserve everything, NOT AT ALL that you're weak. Work on it for yourself. So you can be happy, not anyone else, dont put yourself down.

You're not alone. Reach out to the right people. Not people who drag you down or make you something you aren't. Not people who trigger episodes or... (Im sorry) need a lot of support themselves UNLESS, that helps you. Reach out to people who can help you cope safely and the right way. Don't be embarrassed to ask for support. Everyone needs it whether they admit it or not. It might not be okay, so I'm not going to say it is and i cant honestly tell you it gets better....but no one is alone, and its not a burden to others if you reach out. Please people, you are loved, i promise, dont ever think you're not.

THERES MORE BUT I DONT WANT TO GET IT TOO LONG!! I know its hard peeps, stay strong and be gentle with yourselves. <3 <3 <3

[grembitc-archived]

Q:Did Chisaki or Nemoto teach her how to shoot a gun? Was the idea of quirk erasure bullets ever brought up? Oh! Seeing as eri is basically chisakis protege would she be the next head of the Yakuza seeing as her grandfather was the original head so by blood she should or not since it is usually males and she is female? Does she have the same view as Chisaki on heroes that they 'need a cure' or have 'a sickness'? Sorry for all the questions I'm just really curious about this take!

whoah thats a lot :'' im not burdened by it just shocked people actually care about my au skdhdjd

1. i feel like nemoto would teach her, since he is trusted by overhaul with the quirk-erasing bullets and actually HIT mirio which means he probably had some training prior, and also eri and shin could really bond in their training sessions

2. since this au only changes events that happen after she encounters deku, then yes. the little box of quirk erasing bullets that kai made still exists, but since they cost a lot to make (from extracting eri's dna to actually making the bullets) he decided to instead focus on training eri to erase quirks herself. and maybe since she's actually got a grip on her quirk, when they do make bullets its easier to extract her dna (the bullets are then given to other trusted precepts members)

3. now while i dont know much about actual yakuza rules and who could lead them, i think eri being the next head of the hassaikai is a fun concept to dabble on. she is directly related by blood to the boss and perhaps the only reason she can't be a leader is her age. she still has a long way to go in terms of quirk training, strength, and general leadership since she is more of the rowdy and rebellious type

4. yes! i mentioned how her personality is similar to kai in a lot of ways, and i think she adopts his views and morals aswell, i mean she herself is both a curse and a blessing. her quirk can easily kill the ones she loves but can also aide her to erase quirks entirely. she remembers all those years ago when the two heroes-in-training chose to ignore her pleads and sobs just so they dont "cause a scene" image is everything to these heroes and she wants to cure them of their hero syndrome

honestly feel free to ask more thoughts you have! i like talking about this au even if i drew it 10 months ago