#I'm off all day tomorrow and will attempt to get stuff on the queue when the little one goes to sleep for a nap--feel free to send asks

[tacitusauxilium]

[the-wales-5]

"Crazy for this girl" (Chapter 3)

The party of which Fergus was speaking at a rugby match had been organised on a Saturday evening. Prince William preferred to stay at St Salvator's Hall writing some assignments and already attempting to revise stuff before December. He wanted to stay as disciplined as possible. Another reason for his absence was clear: a need to stay alone after days overflowing with irritation towards almost all the students.

A white strap blouse, denim skirt, slightly seen makeup, and natural hair. Although it was not her intent, “beautiful Kate” captivated everyone again.

*

A group of students was standing in the queue to get “Venice and antiquity: the Venetian sense of the past” by Patricia Fortini Brown. Catherine was getting quite impatient as people were moving very slowly in the line. Normally, it would not affect her, but at that moment, she was taking a look at the watch every few seconds.

“I hope this one isn’t going to be as bad as the one about Greece”

Among the maze of quiet words and voices, that one brought her attention for some reason. Prince William just walked past her with a book in his hand “Your advice paid off, thanks”.

“I am glad to see you with the book" she said and smiled a little.

“How was the party? There's no one to tell me details apart from Fergus from whom getting information is quite difficult if a gathering involves alcohol”

Catherine tried not to laugh “Well, it was an average night, full of drinks and dance. Nothing too good, honestly”

“I assumed that. Uhm, I noticed a book in your bag recently”

“A stolen one?” Catherine teased and caused him to chuckle

“No, not this time. One about Chile. It was my gap year destination”

“One of my gap year destinations as well. Florence first, then Chile”

“We could talk about our experiences”

Catherine looked at the people in front of her, then at her watch once more “I do not think it is possible now..”

“Kate! I’ve got two copies, one for you!” Laura Warshaeur approached her at the same moment

“Oh, thank you! That’s so helpful”

“Go. He’s waiting outside for at least ten minutes”.

“Thanks. Oh, and see you tomorrow for our classes, Steve” she said, walking off.

The person waiting for Catherine was Rupert Finch. The 4th-year law student and her boyfriend.

“You like her, don’t you?” Laura said when she noticed that William was looking at their friend

“She’s helped me recently, that’s all”

*

“Where have you been?” Rupert asked his girlfriend right after she hugged him

“In the library, long queue”

“I hope this is the truth, Katie” he said and kissed her on the cheek

“Why wouldn’t it be true?” She rolled her eyes, but then Rupert put his hand around her, and they went to a restaurant nearby where Catherine got a job the week before.

***

November was shaping up to be a tiring time for everyone owing to next month's Martinmas semester exams. Aware of it William wanted to organise a party to help everyone relax but also to make up for the few parties he had missed. He revealed his plans to a circle of friends he had gotten over the last few weeks while they were sitting in the dining hall.

“Will it be a costume one?!” Laura asked

“No, but I was thinking of a themed one, and the most popular thing these days is Harry Potter as I reckon so might be it” William said

“Sounds great, it’s a pity I am unable to be in two places simultaneously” Catherine sighed

“Why?” her friend Olivia Bleasdale asked.

“People from Rupert’s course are organising something on the same day, and he already confirmed our attendance. It is all planned weeks in advance. I'm sorry”

“A lawyer gathering full of snobbism instead of a Harry Potter themed one, that sounds fun” Fergus laughed sarcastically. Kate took a sip of orange juice “This is not my fault that he planned something, right?” She shrugged off.

Laura looked at William at the same moment as she asked “Is your girlfriend coming?”.

The prince had been meeting Carley Massy-Birch, and their relationship was well-known amongst his friends.

“She hasn't given me a direct reply yet, but I think she'll be there” he replied “Anyway, would 7 pm be the right time for a start?”

“Yes, but only if you want us to be drunk as hell by 9pm, Wills. Make it 8 pm at least” Fergus replied

“That way you’ll be drunk as hell by 10 pm” Catherine said, wanting to have revenge on him for his recent remarks about her boyfriend. Everyone burst into laughter.

“Stop making him feel embarrassed. Boyd knows the reality. He'll be drunk yet before the party starts” Olivia said, and that caused yet another wave of laughs.

“You can help me to write down the list of attendees” William said then

“But this is not a royal gathering, Wales”

The prince laughed and rolled his eyes in a playful way. “I just want to make sure that everyone who attends knows to address me as Steve. For security reasons. Stop teasing me and give me a pen instead”

“I haven't got one. They'll address you as Mr ‘writing names down without our consent’? Be careful. We may all boycott your social event before it even begins” Fergus joked again.

“I was about to write yours right now, but it looks like you are the first to be crossed out instead” William chuckled, got hit on the elbow from his friend, and then finally noted down several names on the paper with Catherine’s pen.

**

“Are you busy or going somewhere in particular now?” William asked her as soon as the rest of their friends left the table.

Middleton looked at the phone and noticed no response from Rupert to a text message that was sent by her yet in the morning.

“I thought that we could finally talk about the Raleigh expedition. For some reason, we had no time for that before”

“Some reason being endless hours of lectures” Catherine remarked, and William looked down, awaiting her final reply, assuming that it would be a negative one.

“Yes, sure. We can talk about it now” Catherine replied within seconds as she switched her phone off at the same time. “Share your experience first. You were there before me, right?” She smiled a little.

As it turned out, the Chile gap year was just the first of many topics they touched upon in a conversation that lasted for almost two hours until they decided to return to their rooms.

“It was so nice to talk and to think about something more than our classes, Kate”

“That was nice for me too," she said as she stared at William, who was slowly going upstairs to his room.

“I hope we'll continue this discussion soon” William said and vanished from Middleton's view. He smiled with his eyes closed, thinking how those few hours were so far one of the best times at St Andrews for him. “I need to give her that pen back finally” William thought when he noticed it in his pocket and slowly turned back. Right at that same time, Catherine saw Rupert on the other side of the hall. She was about to ask why he had been ignoring her text messages and felt ready to argue when she realised that he hid a huge bouquet of red roses behind himself and apologised for his behaviour. Catherine smiled and slowly kissed him on the lips. William had been staring at the scene between the two of them from a distance until Middleton closed her door.

*

“Do we really have to attend that party?” Kate asked her boyfriend while they were on a walk moments after William saw them.

“You had no objection to that before. Why do you ask now?” Rupert frowned a little

“Can’t you call it off and for once go somewhere with me?”

“I am often going out with you, Katie”

“I want to have fun yet before exams, not listen to boring conversations between you and other guys wearing a tie even though they're just 24!” she replied, a little bit louder

“Katie, stay calm, please. Now, all you show is that you are simply over-dramatic. Don't you remember? Raisin Weekend and foam fight had taken place not so long ago, and it was fun, wasn't it?”

“Indeed. The thing is, I just want you to think it all over, Rupert” she said, getting lost in her thoughts. She then simply carried on walking and looking at the early evening's sky from time to time.

*

William was overthinking all those small moments such as Middleton helping him with writing a painting interpretation, letting him compare his most important notes with hers, fun they had during Raisin Weekend and now also that simple conversation they had about Chile, sports, and nature. It all replayed in his mind for hours. Being in a relationship and having thoughts about someone else was a thing he thought he’d never experience.

The moment he woke up the next morning and noticed Catherine’s pen on the bedside table, he felt uncontrollable and inexplicable frustration. He avoided having breakfast with his friends, then checked his schedule and found out that he’ll have eight hours of classes and seminars that day. “It can not get any worse than this” he thought, feeling that tiredness mixed with confusion won’t let him focus on that stuff. Despite that, he went on with his morning routine. Right before closing the door, he took a blue pen from the table. “No smiles or conversations” he planned his next meeting with Catherine Middleton meticulously “I'd just give her the pen, and everything will be normal again”.

*

Due to oversleep, Catherine did not attend the first class that day. Rupert wanted her to take a day off and go on a trip with him. She rejected that offer, but her boyfriend insisted on helping her reach the university building.

Right there, Kate noticed William who just went outside during a break between classes.

“Is that actually him?” Finch asked “I thought he’d be hiding in his room when free”

“He’s not as antisocial as you are and your boys from The Poker Team, it seems” Catherine teased her boyfriend, laughing

“It was not a funny joke, Katie,” he said.

Right at the same moment, Carley approached William. “You seem cross about something, Willy” she said “Look at me”

“We need to talk about something. I am organising a party in a few days, and my question is if you are going to attend. It would be amazing if you do, you know?”

“Isn't it obvious?” Carley said as she put her hands around his neck “I thought you would invite me first” she said and almost kissed him, but William pulled himself away and began to search for a notebook.

“What’s the matter?” she asked

“I’m just searching for something” he murmured, and Catherine's blue pen fell off onto the ground at the same moment.

“This perhaps?” Carley picked it up, feeling perplexed “This isn't yours. I gave you a more expensive one three weeks ago. Don’t tell me you’ve lost it somewhere and replaced it with a cheap one from a shop”

“No. It belongs to Kate” William almost snatched it from his girlfriend's hand

“Kate? The beautiful one?” She sneered

“We're on the same course. I was writing a list of people attending, so I had to borrow a pen from her and..” . At that same moment, he noticed Catherine and called her name. “I forgot to give it to you yesterday”

Middleton said with a tiny smile, “Oh, I've got another pen. You could keep it” and walked off. William turned his eyes towards Carley, who said “You seemed nervous. Why is that?”

“It is not true. I am simply trying to focus on things needed for today's classes. It'll be a long day for me, but we can meet with one another in the early evening” he said and kissed Carley on the lips.

*

He escaped the class an hour earlier than planned in the schedule. Fergus followed him and asked him a question that the prince did not actually register in his mind.

“Steve! Are you still here?” Boyd waved in front of the prince's face to get his attention.

“Yes? What is your problem?”

“It is not really mine, but yours as you seemed to be disoriented by half of the day and left earlier than you should, Steve”

“I do not think it matters to someone apart from you” He pulled out his phone

“I am just trying to tell you that your professor might have an interest in that, you know”

William dismissed these words. Carley got a text message from her boyfriend asking her to come to his room almost at the same moment. She was suspicious but soon excited to have intimate time with him, too, and her assumptions turned out to be right.

*

In the afternoon, Catherine finally could talk about her observations on William with Olivia while they both were at the restaurant before Middleton's shift “Don’t you think that there’s something wrong with him?”

“Why do you think so?”

“He seemed unsettled today, as if he didn’t want to be there”

“You know how this stuff works, right? It’s all boring sometimes, and not every day is full of enjoyment, right? He just had it tough today, I guess. There's nothing wrong with that”.

Catherine chuckled a little bit “Yes, but to be completely honest with you, I grew confused when he was ignoring everything, even when we were supposed to work on a sketch interpretation along with two other students”

“And I assume that you are just overthinking”

“He ruined this presentation with his apathy!”

“Oh, stop it. I repeat that you're overthinking. You know what he went through”

“Yes, and I know how it affects a person. I am studying psychology too, remember? Am I over-dramatic? Rupert told me exactly the same thing earlier” she sighed

“Is it a unique day when I agree with Finch for the first time ever? Unbelievable! “.

They both laughed, and Catherine carried on her work.

*

“Why are you acting so weird?” was Carley’s first question when she met with William for the third time in the evening.

“What do you mean?” He sighed

“This. Exactly this. Your annoyance at each word I say. Our meetings are now sporadic, full of tension”

“We're just a step away from Martinmas exams”

“This is not a clever excuse”

“This is not an excuse at all, Carley. This is our reality right now”

“And because of that reality, we are separated most of the time!”

“Are we? We've met one another three times today alone”

“It comes to me as a surprise. Last week, we barely met one another because you closed yourself in your room to concentrate on your studies. Isn't it outrageous that you prefer to spend time alone rather than with your girlfriend?

“Perhaps, but I swear that there is no other reason than my studies and the necessary planning that goes into our relationship”

“And hence there's no stability either!”

“I am truly sorry for ignoring you as you put it, but I promise that we'll figure it out together.

“How? When?”

“Tomorrow. We can arrange our meetings for the next two weeks”

“Why tomorrow? Why not today?”

“I have some other plans for now. A list to that party that I planned to be in two weeks is still open yet, by the way”

“Oh, is that an official invitation for me?”

“You may treat it as one” William said quickly and put his lips on Carley's in a passionate kiss.

***

Chapter 4

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Least Restful Non-Working Day

So that was my day. My day was stupid.

Spent a couple of hours trying to coax a little bit of typing out of the mess of the "central network problem", whatever the hell that was. Managed three, just because the connection kept dying. Eventually logged out and, rather guiltily, went off and ran my errands - mallet meds, mostly. Aat least I didn't quite feel the need for the BIG painkillers.

(Side-note: the mallet meds are co-codamol. The BIG painkillers, for me, are Paramol, which is technically co-dydramol. The BIG painkillers work better in general, but are also way more expensive. So there are a lot of reasons that I'm generally happier when I don't need the BIG painkillers. Not needing the mallet-meds? Well, that's not an option, but at least I only use those at night. My GP is reluctant to actually write me a prescription for this stuff as long as I can manage on the OTC dose, which is fine. Still really wish there was an option to get medicinal marijuana on the NHS, though. I mean, it's legal, but it's one of those things that the NHS almost never offers to patients. I could go private for it, but it's complicated and expensive. I'll probably do it one day, though - it'd be way better than a codeine-paracetamol combo.)

Anyway, came back, switched on the machine ... couldn't log into the remote desktop at all anymore. Emailed the colleague I asked about this situation in the first place, asking if there was an update; got told "it went from bad to worse". By then it was a half-hour to my regular end time, so I just thought, "Fuck this". Let them know I was going to log off for the day and see how things look tomorrow, since I didn't see them fixing things before my regular close of play and sitting there attempting to log in over and over and over and over and over again was driving me batshit.

Four reasons I said I'd see what it looked like tomorrow:

I still had some items in my personal queue before the whole thing shut down. At minimum I have to move those back to the main queue, because we're not supposed to leave things in our personal queues. Just because if we do, no one knows they need to be typed and if we're away for awhile, no one can access them and they get to be late. I just didn't have the option to move them back before everything went tits-up.

The typing queue was already a mess because at least some dictation got done before this mess started.

The typing queue might be even worse, because I have no idea if the doctors' computers were working or if they had a workaround, so they could theoretically have spent all day dictating, and at 300-odd reports a day on top of the 360 or so that were already there? Erm. Yeah.

If they couldn't get any dictation done - or hell, even if they did - odds are good that folks are coming in to do more work tomorrow. As a "getting ahead of things before the holidays" situation.

I'm still not giving up my Sunday or Monday. I'm still not giving up my two days of annual leave just before Christmas. However, I refuse to come in on Tuesday to the kind of mess that I know for a fact will await me no matter what. Best case scenario? There's still 360 bits of typing in the queue. Worst case scenario? We're pushing the 900 mark by Monday. That cannot happen. We are not coming back from that without me spending the holiday period on overtime.

I tried so hard to keep Saturday free. I really did. And we'll see. Maybe if it's a best-case scenario, I'll only have to do a couple of hours. But odds are pretty good that I'll come in to 600 bits of typing and have to spend the entire six and a half hours I would have spent working today making some dent in it.

I wonder if Goblin will do the same.

(I bet she won't.)

Anyway, I wouldn't mind so much if I'd actually had a real break today. But I don't call "attempting to log in all day long with little to no success" particularly restful, even if the attempts were made while I was reading, or playing games on my phone. Still, I'd feel bad if I just didn't try at all for most of the day. If I'm going to work overtime on Saturday, it's going to be overtime, not "makeup work because the main server's got the integrity of a soggy biscuit". Even if no one's watching, I want to feel like I tried. I also wanted to know right off the bat when things were working again, because I was pretty sure that no one was going to email me with updates.

In more cheerful news, my mother went to North America awhile ago and picked me up more Sour Patch Kids. (Yes, I know they have them here in the UK, but again - the texture of both the gummy and the sour-sugar they're dusted in are wrong, and strawberry and blackcurrant do not replace cherry and raspberry for me.) This was just before the mess of overtime started, and we didn't get around to setting up a drop-off, but my stepfather dropped them by to me when he was finished with today's work on the other flat. So I may not have Saturday Shenanigans D&D, but I have proper Sour Patch Kids to have when my Sunday D&D session rolls around.

Gods, please, let this get better in the new year. This entire month so far has been a mess.

[redrocx]

Live Report the Gazette @ le Bataclan 06/14/19

This was meant to be a three sentence post about my feelings for the live but somehow it took on a life on its own, so have my own, amateurish attempt at a live report 笑 I don't even know where to begin.

Our day (us being the lovely @ino-en-blue and me) started at 7:30am. We got up and got ready to leave for the venue. We left at 8am, and arrived at the venue shortly before 9am. We got our numbers for the queue, which a friend kindly reserved for us. We were 47th and 48th in line for VIP. For the first 3h, we just sat in front of the venue. We met up with @kagefumin and other lovely people. Most of the time we just spent chatting, and eating and playing some card games (which Milo won and I was last at 笑). At around 9am, the tour bus with the staff and the musical equipment arrived. They told us to move away from the venue a bit, so they could get everything inside. One staff member also informed us that the Gazette were not on that bus themselves, but that they would arrive in another one at a later time. (At roughly the same time, Kai posted about his troubles with the cup of coffee on instagram 笑.) We also got to sign one of the banners that some lovely fans had prepared (there were two of those banners floating around for fans to sign, but we only left our signatures on one of them.)

At about 1pm, the French fans organizing everything told us that staff required us to leave our waiting area in front of the venue, since we were getting in the way of the adjacent shops and passersby. We grabbed our stuff, and moved across the street to the nearby park. Thanks to the numbering system, we didn't have to worry about leaving our spot at all, since we would be sorted by numbers again in queue later on.

At the park, we waited some more, met some more people, and pretty much just chatted and rested a bit. I spotted two awesome cosplayers, and was really impressed by their costumes and appearances, and the dedication and efforts they put into creating their cosplays. It was also awesome to see some cosplayers in the flesh. At about 2:30pm we left the park for a while to get some food. When we got back, the organizers informed us that they would hand out glow sticks to everyone to ignite and hold up during the ballads (I think we ignited some of them prematurely by having glow stick battles in line 笑 though it was hard to tell in the sun). Then we got asked to line up outside the park by numbers. Heresy members got the chance to pick up the Heresy exclusive gift, a wristband. Then we got back in line, and at 5pm they started to lead the first VIP groups back to the venue, where we waited some more. We also took a bunch of cute pictures while we were waiting. At 6pm, staff finally started to let us into the venue. Security checked both bags and persons, then let us enter the venue. Inside, we were given the chance to drop our bags off at the cloakroom, and we were handed the VIP gift towels (made of microfiber). At the left side of the entrance room, there were boxes for the members' gifts. Staff told us we had to drop all gifts into the boxes, we were not allowed to hand them to the members personally during the meet & greet. We also got informed that the guys were running late, which is probably one of the reasons why the meet & greet was so rushed. It took place before the actual live, which was kinda meh imo, since that also meant the meeting was going to be rushed and very short. In line, we were told only handshakes were allowed, though I later heard a bunch of fans screwed the rules as usual, and asked for hugs nevertheless.

As said before, the m&g was really rushed, which was kinda disappointing, tbh. It started with Uruha, and all I was really able to do was shake their hands and tell them thank you as they also thanked us. They all looked gorgeous, and they were really sweet and polite. Meeting Uruha and Ruki is already a blur for me, I have to admit, but I think they were smiling politely. Kai and Reita were real sweethearts, they were grinning happily and warmly, and they both took my hand in both of theirs. Last was Aoi. Oh boy. He was... stunningly beautiful. I mean, obviously they all were, but the whole "pictures don't do them justice" felt especially true with him. He was simply breathtaking. Also, even though they were all wearing heavy makeup, to me it seemed like he wasn't wearing as much as the others — or it just looked more natural, idk, I can‘t really describe it. He simply looked incredibly handsome. When he saw me... I swear I could read his thoughts off his face & the look he gave me. It was so obvious it was downright cute. Like, I'm not only only 1,50m (4'11") small, I also look very young (people often estimate my age to be around 12-14). So I KNOW that look that people usually give me. And he had the exact same look on his face, "Omg you're a child, what's a child doing here?!" I just could read his surprise & confusion off his face, so I gave him a half knowing, half awkward smile. At that, his confusion disappeared and he smiled back. RIP me.

We managed to snatch second row, in the center, with Ruki's platform right in front of us and Kai's drum set behind. Staff were setting up the technological equipment and the instruments. Luckily, there wasn't much of a line yet in front of the merch store, so we rushed over there and managed to snatch the stuff we wanted to get (though they accidentally messed up sizes for two of our shirts, and my friend Ino ended up with the S I was looking to get for my shirt and I ended up with an L but oh well, we'll manage). Getting back in line was a bit of a hassle, since I think people thought we were trying to cut in line, when we were just trying to get back to our friends 笑. Then we waited some more while some rock music was playing. I was standing behind some Japanese fans, and the guy was sadly fairly tall, which blocked a big part of my view to the stage. In general, I didn't have much space to move around or even place my feet anywhere to stand properly lol. With this uncomfortable position, I waited amongst my friends some more, and we were growing more and more excited as well as impatient. Some time later, they started to let in General Audience. Then, a staff member came on stage. He asked us whether we were ready to see the Gazette, and the whole room just went nuts. He informed us that taking any pictures or videos during the live was strictly forbidden, and that cellphones mustn't be used. At that, most people applauded, though some people of course booed *rolls eyes*. But as far as I know, most people kept to the rule, we didn't see any phones around the first few rows of the audience at all. Finally, quite on time (as far as I could tell), the lights went off and the live started.

99.999 started playing, and the whole audience lost their shit. During the SE, the guys came on stage one after one, starting by Kai (if I recall correctly). Ruki came in last. Falling started and the audience went completely nuts. Most of the performance is just a blur to me now, and I sadly didn't see much of Uruha or Kai from my position, so I won't be talking about each song individually. At first, I barely could see Ruki and Reita from my gap, but as the live progressed, I ended up in a slightly changed position, which gave me less of a view on Ruki but therefore I had Aoi perfectly in sight for the rest of the live. The boys were all in top condition. Ruki's vocals were on point, his screams and growls were to die for. Reita was playful during the entire live, licking his fingers a bunch of times and showing his tongue (similarly to his selfie he posted on Instagram later lol see at the end of the report), or coming to the front of the stage to jam there. Aoi mostly kept in his spot, but he smiled inwardly the whole time. He looked especially happy and proud during the NINTH songs, when the audience went nuts and sang along to them, and I was under the impression it made him really happy how much we responded to their new songs. Ruki made some of his cute little dances, and also touched himself during a few songs (though I couldn't name any of them in hindsight except for Filth in the Beauty), or just tugged at the hem of his purple suit to reveal more of his chest. Overall, he was just being his enthusiastic and dramatic self while performing. They were all extremely on point for most of the live (I only heard someone say Ruki's timing was a bit off during Tomorrow Never Dies and Kai apparently shot him a confused glance, but I myself did not catch that). Sadly, as mentioned before, I barely saw Uruha from my position, and I also focused on Aoi most of the time 笑. I managed to catch a few glimpses of him during some of his solos though, which were absolutely fantastic. I also heard he went down on his knees quite a lot and headbanged often, but I failed to catch any of it.

The first few songs were a blast (I'll post a photo of the setlist down below), though I had difficulties enjoying and focusing on them from time to time since people began to push like crazy from the back, and I had to concentrate quite often on not getting squished. That's why I sadly can‘t say much more to their actual performance onstage (also, the songs involved a lot of headbanging so there was no time to focus on the stage, naturally lol). I did catch Aoi accidentally stepping on the cord of Ruki's microphone, and grinning apologetically before stepping off again. During その声は脆く, people got out their glow sticks and waved them around. Until the first chorus, Aoi was actually sitting down on a stool, I think (at least that's what it looked like from my position). Contrary to what I thought from listening to the song on headphones, they did not actually share the guitar solo, but Uruha performed the solo by himself (which, ngl, I was a bit disappointed about). He did a great job at the solo though! I still would've loved and died if they had shared the solo and switched in between the way it also sounds like if you listen to the song via headphones. I was ecstatic that they played Dogma, and during VORTEX and The Suicide Circus, the audience sang along wholeheartedly (e.g., the 'tick tock' part was sung solely by the audience). During one of the songs (sadly I don't remember which it was, might've been UGLY or Tomorrow Never Dies) when they were firing up the audience, Ruki actually walked along the edge of the stage and held out the microphone to the audience to catch and amplify our shouts. He also gave some fans high fives during one of the songs (sorry, again, I don't actually remember during which song, everything's already a blur OTL). The last song on the main list they played was Filth in the Beauty. Afterwards, they left the stage, and Kai came up to the front of the stage and we cheered on him as loudly as we could.

Between songs, Ruki actually spoke some French phrases (like "Bonsoir", "Ça va" and "Nous sommes the Gazette"), which was really cute and adorable! He also made several 'it's so hot' gestures, like fanning himself and sticking his tongue out.

Then we were waiting for the encore, and boy, I did not have any strength left by then. Other people seemed to be the same, and the encore calls came and went in waves like the tide. I think everyone was struggling with their energy reserves by then, and temporarily, I got worried that our encore calls lacked the energy and enthusiasm which would encourage them to come out again. Alas, apparently it was still enough, and they came out again. I was so happy and relieved. Uruha, Kai and Aoi were wearing some of the World Tour shirts (Aoi's tattoo actually peaked out from underneath his sleeve *drools*), Reita and Ruki were still in their costumes. Reita was carrying the French Gazette flag, he showed it to us, then put it on display on Ruki's platform. Aoi brought out another flag, a fan-made one, which had the dates of the live, the Gazette logo and chibi drawings of the members on it. He showed it around and looked so fucking adorably proud as he did so, I can't even put it into words.

When all of them except for Ruki had come out, we started to sing Happy Birthday for Uruha as a late gift. The other members caught up quite quickly, but he himself seemed rather oblivious at first 笑. It wasn't until Reita and Kai pointed it out to him that he understood the song was actually for him. He pointed at himself in surprise, but in the end bowed and thanked us. Kai yelled "Happy Birthday, Uruha!!" into his microphone, then Uruha pointed at Reita and Kai went "Now do it for him", to which Reita shook his head no almost panicky lol. Kai shouted a few phrases in English at us ("Bring it on!" and "You [yes, he made that cute grammatical error, it was endearing] fucking amazing!" are the ones I recall), then, they started to play Inside Beast. Everyone was firing up the audience, and Aoi and Ruki both gestured at us that we weren't loud enough. Aoi even shook his head in disapproval. At one point during the song, Aoi actually blew the audience a kiss *dies*.

Next up was Shiver. Oh boy. I know there's a lot of people who don't particularly like that song, but it is a true blast live. All songs are, of course, but I feel like this is one of the songs the studio version does no justice at all. It was amazing, and Uruha's solo was on point. Aoi's solo though truly hit me, it was beautiful and perfect, and he looked so happy performing it (yes, I know, I'm biased 笑), it made me wish he got to play more solos; he seemed to really liven up during the solo.

People who have been following me for a while know that I'm a hardcore Aoiki shipper. And I fucking can‘t believe it. It actually happened. Right in front of my eyes. During a live that I attended. At one point during Shiver, Ruki walked over to Aoi, and smacked his butt firmly. Aoi grinned. And I died. I screamed so loudly, I think I caused everyone around me to go deaf. I'm so happy that I actually got blessed with Aoiki fanservice the one time I attended a live. What are the odds? (Even in a non-shippy way, it was a true blessing to witness this kind of interaction between the two members I love the most.)

But to make this night truly unforgettable for me, they closed the live with Tomorrow Never Dies. Again, there are a lot of people who greatly dislike the fact that they play this song a lot, but I was extremely happy. There's just something magical, moving and powerful about the feeling of singing "Don't kill yourself" along with Ruki, it touched me greatly. During the song, he walked over to Uruha to rest his arm on his shoulder. Then, he pretended to readjust his guitar strings to which Uruha shot him a "don't you dare mess with her" glance, before Ruki jammed out to the tunes of his guitar. (Side note: Uruki is my second favorite ship, so to get this cute interaction on top was just the fucking cherry on top!) During the song, Ruki grabbed some bottles of water and sprayed us with them (bless him so much omg we truly needed it), then threw the bottles into the audience. At the end of the song, he spew his fountain of water as usual. At one point during the song, Reita went over to Kai's platform to jam out with him, which was adorable af and made me extremely happy. Uruha's solo was killer, and Ruki's a capella part was to die for, as always.

When the song was over, they thanked us, and Aoi, Reita and Uruha threw their remaining picks into the audience. Sadly, Aoi mostly focused on his part of the stage, I would've loved to get one of his picks. But don't be too greedy, right? I was already beyond happy with the things I did get that night. Kai took a picture of the audience from behind his drum set, then walked up and jumped onto Ruki's platform to be properly celebrated like the king he is. He looked truly stunning up close, up on that platform towering above us, while the others left the stage (if I recall correctly, Ruki wrapped himself into the French flag as he thanked us.) Then, Kai left after the others, and the live was officially over.

We pretty much gathered our things, rested a bit on the floor until staff kicked us out lol. A friend went back to the merch store to change their hoodie to a different size, then we collected our stuff from the cloakroom and left the venue. In front of the venue, we met up with some people again, and chatted some more. We said goodbye to people, and rested in front of the tour bus for a while longer. There was a guy selling posters of the live, and another one (I think he was staff) asked us whether we would wait on the band to come out; which apparently was possible and allowed, but it would've taken 2-3 hours of more wait, and since we were tired and exhausted and drenched af, we decided against it. We changed into some dried clothes (we got from the merch store), and eventually made our way to the subway, and home.

There are some extra things I wanna mention but did not know where to put them in the actual report, so I'll just add them here. As mentioned before, the French fans organizing everything and keeping everything in order were doing an amazing job. I wish there was a way to thank them properly. Also, during the live, staff handed bottles of water around and "fed" us with it to keep us hydrated. Twice, the dude poured the water all over my chin, and I actually got some in my nose as well, which was rather unpleasant. But as such, the water was a true blessing. I just had my whole shirt soaked by it, which was why I was freezing once we got out of the venue. The hoodie I managed to snatch from the merch store and changed into helped keep me warm and comfortable though, bless Ruki!

Also, outside the venue after the live there was a girl just giving away some of her popsicles, which was incredibly generous and thoughtful — not all heroes wear capes!

There was a bunch of shoving and squishing going on during the live to the point I barely had a square meter left to stand and move around, and I had to focus a lot of energy and attention into bracing myself against the shoves from behind while simultaneously trying not to get hit by any body parts from the front (I actually took an elbow to the lip LOL as expected). Other than that, the fans were all really polite and some were truly considerate. The guy next to me actually offered to trade places with me so I could see a bit better, which was extremely kind of him.

During one of the closing songs (it was either Filth in the Beauty or Tomorrow Never Dies), some people threw some stuff onstage, sadly. At the time, I couldn't tell what it had been, I only saw something hit the stage, and Ruki look at the floor in both amusement and a bit of weirded out awkwardness. Later on, I heard it had actually been a glow stick and a shirt that had been thrown onstage (and had been aimed at Ruki). Other than that, there were no remarkable (negative) instances. The guys did look really happy, and I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that they were enjoying themselves. Even with the negative things (e.g. the shoving, etc.) I was still having the time of my life. I never pushed my body to and over its limits like that ever before, and the guys were worth every second of it. I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to see them live, and I'm so grateful for what this band has done for any of us, and me in particular, and that they continue to do for us and give us. They deserve the world, and I'm so happy and grateful I got to be part of theirs for one night. They were simply amazing, and it's true that any studio version, and any report or picture doesn't do them any justice. They're so incredibly talented, and they perform with such professionalism yet passion it's awe-inspiring. Even if I could remember more about their musical performances in depth, I wouldn't even know how to put it into words.

I hope I'll get to experience them live again one day.

I was also overjoyed to meet people I had been friends with for a while online irl for the very first time. You are all so damn sweet and I was so happy to meet all of you in person. And to meet such lovely people for the first time (I'd love to tag you all in this, but most of you don't have a tumblr, I think 笑). I hope to also see all of you again one day!