#I'm not trying to be all 'well actually grammar and also ur wrong!'
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calcja · 1 year ago
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SAINT OR SLUT
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DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A 18+ POST W SOME NSFW THEMES READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ⚠️
Sypnosis: Here's what i think abt whether bonten characters r virgins or nahhh (ofc they're not minors here)
author's note: EXPECT wrong grammars and spellings bc english is not my first languange but i will try my best 😤 and also
❗️pictures are not mine. Credits to the rightful owners❗️
❗️ this doesnt follow the manga ❗️
• MANJIRO SANO
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• Personally, i'm 50/50 whether if Mikey is a virgin or not, but i'm sure home boi flirts w girls
• Bro is literally stressed out w his life ever since he was a kid and we are all aware that he lost lots of people during his teenage years that led him into becoming a person that he is right now
• He would go to clubs for work or when he's stressed out, looking for some hot chicks to comfort his lonely ass then make out with them later on but it actually depends though if he would be in the mood to do it with someone, he might be "too tired" to have sex or if ever he did it, he would most likely do it just to feel something
• HARUCHIYO SANZU
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• Now come on now
•He's a slut. like a literal slut. the slut of them all. the one and only babygirl.
• He's the guy that when you first look at him, you will say ti yourself immediately that "oh he's a slut" "oh that guy is definitely not a virgin" "he definitely fuck bunch of girls"
• Especially when he's high? oh my god. One thing u expect when this guy is high is hes at the club fucking some girls or getting his dick sucked.
• He doest want makeouts w gropings, home boi always wants a good fuck
•But regardless of being a fuck boy, Sanzu doesnt just easily goes to clubs on his daily basis, when he has work to do especially when it an order from mikey, he would do that first.
• Overall, he's the type of guy who do his works first and surprisingly do it well before he gets his ballsack empty!
• KAKUCHO
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• hmmmm this guy is a.... virgin.
• He's voted for being the best boyfriend at the poll one time so i guess this guy is actually sweet irl or in fanfics (EVERYBODY LOVES THIS GUY HE SOLOS ALL UR FAVES IF UR A HATER OF THIS MAN THEN J ALSO HATE U)
•Moving on, Kakucho goes to clubs only just for work and nothing more. Sure he might get some drinks then that's it. • Unfortunately, it's very rare for someone to come up to him to flirt, not bcs of his scary face but bcs of his calm yet cold personality, voice and aura.
• I think he prefers to train more than having sex when he's stressed
• I just imagine him during his day off in his apartment or house or wherever the fuck he lives to have a calm life, taking care of some plants, relaxing while watching tv, reading books, drinking coffee, training and overall just enjoying little things in life.
• ANYWAYS BUT WHY DO I THINK ABT HIM PLAYING A GUITAR (Izana's old guitar)?!?!???! AND HE LEARNED PLAYING THE GUITAR FOR IZANA???
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angelpuns · 1 year ago
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Ranting anon is v happy to have words in their brain again, so random ASL lesson! Like any other language, it has it's own grammar structure (there are multiple though! So if u see another version, it isn't wrong! Just different) and in my class we learned Time - Noun/subject - Verb - Object (if there is one). I haven't actually been in class for a hot minute but I think that's right! Also your brows should shift depending on if you're asking a yes/no question or a who, what, where, when, etc. For a yes or no question your eyebrows go up, for a WH question they go down. When writing out a sentence in ASL it's supposed to be all caps and in the ASL grammar format as well! That's all for rn :3 still super excited for ur stickers (I want them so badly, TAKE MY MONEY!!!!)
YIPPEPE LEARNING TIME!!!
The writing and structure thing is so helpful you have no idea-
Usually when I'm writing it into comics I just use the last word of the sentence to try and illustrate what they were trying to say, but next time I may try and do a full sentence ( we'll see how that goes, I'll probably end up shortening it for simplicity's sake) BUT YIPPEEE THANK YOU FOR THE ASL LESSON RANTING ANON I LOVE LEARNING
I'm glad you're excited <3333 I have a couple of designs I'm working on that I'll post when I'm finished and if all goes well I probably will end up getting them printed <333
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goatsandgangsters · 7 years ago
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help I have a genuine Gender Grammar Question and I’m trying not to sound like a Mega Pretentious Asshole but I gotta know
...does wlw stand for “women-loving women” or “women loving women”
cause I always thought it was “women-loving women” but now I’m seeing terms for nb people into women / men (respectively) as nblw / nblm, which at first really threw me for a loop, cause it seemed like it should be the other way around
so now I'm genuinely curious about this? is there a consensus? is there not a consensus? do I need a new hobby that doesn’t involve thinking so deeply about hyphenation?
either way works, grammatically (though I’ll admit I have a strong preference for “women-loving women” over “women loving women”). I just... honestly thought it was “women-loving” as an adjective this ENTIRE time, but the advent of nblw / nblm has given me questions
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queenvidal · 2 years ago
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The Girl Who Never Cries
Negan x Reader (Rick's Daughter)
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(Not my gif - found it on pinterest. If it's urs, contact me for proper credit)
Chapter 2: Pissin' Our Pants Yet?
Chapter Summary: A fun target practice with Carl quickly turns into a revealing conversation with the leader of the Saviors, maybe he’s not a monster after all. Despite an almost empty pantry, Negan isn't hostile towards you, quite the opposite and it's unsettling, to say the least.
Wordcount: 4405
Notes: I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes or wrong spellings, English isn't my first language.
- Part 1 of the The One And Only Series - Takes place during the beginning of season 7.
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Chapter Index: Chapter 1 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 (End)
Masterlist / Negan x Rick's Daughter Series
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"Eyes on the target, Carl." You remind your brother, but his head keeps turning towards the gate. It's the Saviors' second visit and it's putting him on edge.
You, on the other hand, are almost calm. Everything you and the other scavengers gathered last week is hidden, safe and sound in the sewers. Rick voiced his concern, but you did not listen. Darly, Michonne and Sasha also got your back and that convinced the rest of the town as well.
And if you really get caught, you'd take the blame without hesitation. If that's what it takes to keep your family safe, you'd do it gladly.
A few items were brought to the pantry, the Saviors have to find something after all, but your actual good stuff will stay with you. The trip to the mall went south pretty much the second you stepped out of your car but you came home, severely injured and about to pass out on the spot but you made it back.
You found enough food to feed the town for at least a few weeks and even got your hands on a few winter coats. Your family won't freeze this winter and this alone will be worth the scars.
Carl turns his attention back to the four green circles you've drawn on an old tree, your makeshift target. With a sigh he goes back into position, raising one of your throwing knives in the air.
"Your elbow needs to be higher." You advise, correcting his posture gently. "Okay, try it now."
Carl rolls his shoulder back before throwing the knife towards the tree. It's hitting the outer circle of the target.
"Nice!" You exclaim, smiling at him proudly. "You're getting better!"
Your brother returns your smile, huffing a laugh. He hurries to retrieve the knife again, eager to continue. He gave up on the training after he lost his eye, thinking he'd never be able to hit anything, but you were stubborn.
His mood got worse and worse after his slow recovery and it was breaking your heart. You pushed him forever until he finally agreed to at least try again. You both had to start from zero again, but you didn't mind. All you cared about was to take his mind off his doubts and see your baby brother happy again.
Carl returns to your side, assuming the same posture you've just shown him. He takes another swing, hitting the second ring of the target.
Jumping you shout out in joy. Ignoring the pain of your bandaged leg you hug him tightly to you. "See?" You ask, smiling from ear to ear. "All you needed was a kick in the ass."
"That's been just a lucky shot." Carl tries to downplay his accomplishments but you won't let him. "Even if that was true, you're far from being a lost call. I'm so proud of you!"
When you two let go, Carl goes back to the tree for the knife. When he turns to come back to you, he freezes on the spot, his eyes focused on something behind you. Starting to get irritated, you turn your head.
Negan.
The head of the Saviors is making his way towards you two, his second in command following him. Carl rushes to your side, taking your hand.
"Look who we got here, Simon? The girl who never cries." Negan chuckles. Carl squeezes your hand tightly, he's scared.
"Good morning", you greet the men, keeping your voice as even as possible. "Our Dad's helping at the pentry."
"Oh, I know, sunshine." Negan takes a few steps closer to you, looking over your bandages. "But I'd rather speak to you."
You turn your attention back to Carl. "Go home, I'll be there in a minute." Carl opens his mouth to argue but you shut him down immediately. "Now!"
Carl glares at you and Negan for a moment before he lets go of your hand. When you take your knife back from him, Negan reaches out for it. "May I?"
You hesitate for a second before you hand it over. Carl rounds you to go for your house, when the guy behind Negan gets moving, too.
You're about to interfere, when Negan steps in front of you. "Don't worry, Simon won't hurt him." He explains to you. "He'll just make sure nothing is hidden at your home."
You watch your brother and the other guy heading for your house until they're out of sight.
"What happened?" Negan's voice makes you turn your head back. He's pointing at your leg.
"Last supply run got ugly." You tell him, crossing your arms. He's still looking at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for you to elaborate.
"I've been to a mall and when I went to a closed off section, I got surrounded by walkers. They were way too many to fight so I booked it. Running would have taken too much time so I slid through a broken glass door. I came home with more shards than cans."
And that's not even a lie. Your jacket shielded your arms and torso but your pants ripped into shreds. All the adrenaline dulled the pain, but once you sat in your car and took off, it was unbearable.
The bigger shards you were able to remove on your way home, but you needed equipment for the small and tiny ones. The two days trip back to Alexandria felt like an eternity. You didn't sleep, nor eat until you've been inside the walls. Carl helped you as much as he could to remove the glass from your flesh. Eventually you blacked out from the pain and woke up with him asleep next to your cot, your leg fully wrapped.
"Is that why the pantry is next to empty?" Negan asks you, sounding somewhat reproachful.
You frown back at him. "Not for the lack of trying."
His expression softens and he lets out a heavy sigh. "Sorry."
Wait, what? It was barely audible but you're sure you've just heard the leader of the Saviors excuse himself for snapping at you.
"You good at it?" He asks, changing the subject and nodding towards the tree.
"I am." you affirm with confidence. You're a good enough shot with a gun, but with your knives you're unstoppable.
Negan smiles at you. "Prove it." 
Within a blink of an eye you remove another knife from your belt and send it towards the target. The man beside you whistles in approval. You missed the bullseye only by a few inches. "Damn!" He turns his head back at you. "Show me?"
With another knife removed from your belt, you show Negan how to stand, one leg out, shoulder rolled back. He mimics you but when he's about to throw you intervene.
"Waitwaitwait." You blurt, preventing him from letting go by grabbing his wrist. "Not there!" You adjust his hold on the blade. "You'll slice your palm that way!"
He looks at you with raised eyebrows and you release his hand immediately. With a faint blush on your cheeks you look at the target. "Learned that the hard way", you whisper.
He lets out a quiet chuckle before throwing your knife. It's landing on the grass far behind the tree. You have to fight a smile, not even Carl managed to miss that badly.
"You gotta be kidding me." Negan curses, looking at the tree in disbelief.
You remove your last two knives, holding one out to him. "Wanna try again?"
He takes the knife without a word. And missed again. You hand him your last knife, unable to fight your smile any longer.
His eyes stay on you for a second before he tries again. This time he's actually hitting the tree but is still way too far from the green rings. "Unbelievable. How hard can it be, when even that one eye gets it done?"
"Lots of practice." You explain. "I've been teaching him for two years now." You go retrieving the knives, so Negan can try again, you can feel his eyes on you the whole way.
Once back at his side, you show him how to stand again. "You're bending your back too much", you explain. "Your foot is too far out and your elbow too low. A good stance for slicing throats but not for far off targets."
Negan tries to correct himself but you see he has trouble finding out what you mean. Without thinking you push against his back, forcing him to stand straight and lift his elbow gently like you did Carl's. Your both eyes meet and you take a step back again, heat coloring the tips of your ears. "Try again."
He does and hits the space between the two outer rings. "Ha!" He shouts, grinning from ear to ear. His hazel eyes look back at you and you feel stupid for even noticing their color. "Not bad", you rasp, clearing your throat awkwardly.
"Ouch," Negan places one hand on his chest, acting hurt. "Where is my cheerleading hug?"
The heat on your ears intensifies and you cross your arms again, trying to play cool. "Reserved only for people with handicaps."
"What a shame", Negan jokes before throwing again. Hitting only slightly lower this time. He seems in a way better mood now.
"Thank you for leaving my room untouched." You hear your voice say before you can stop yourself. The Saviors took a lot of furniture when they first came to Alexandria. Carl's and your fathers bedroom were completely empty, but yours was still the way you left it.
"Figured you had enough shit your way as it is." Negan replies, throwing again. "Despite common belief I'm not a monster."
It's hard to believe but you find yourself wanting to. "Well… thanks."
"See, that's why I like you." He turns his attention from the tree back to you again. "You don't take shit for granted and recognize privileges."
Feeling bold by his compliment, at least you think that's what it was, you look back at him, meeting his hazel eyes. "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot." He says, throwing the last knife.
"Why did you skip me?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You were terrified, your eyes searched for your brother, when one of the Saviors pushed you to your knees. Carl was kneeling next to your father, on the other side of the line. You were held between Abraham and Daryl, both men looked just as scared and defeated as you felt.
That's how it's going to end, you thought, your father's bad decisions are finally catching up on you. You were almost equally angry as you were scared. No matter how vehemently you disagreed with the attack on the satellite station, you were about to die for it regardless.
And then the door of the RV opened, revealing the man your father believed he had killed when attacking the station. "Pissin' our pants yet?"
It got deafening quiet, the only things you've heard were your rapid heartbeat in your ear and the dirt under Negan's boots as he walked the line up and down.
He introduced himself to the group, his baseball bat tightly held in his gloved hand. Your father looked up when Negan stopped in front of him.
"Rick, right?" He asked. "I'm Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool, not cool."
Chills were running down your spine and your blood was running cold, was he about to kill him?
"You have no idea how not cool that shit is." Negan continued. "But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly."
He talked about a new world order and about working for him but you barely catched it, too focused on cursing your father out in your mind. You swore to yourself that if you made it out of this alive, you'd leave the group for good, as you should have done years ago.
Negan kept swinging his bat in front of Rick's face. "You don't really think that you get through this without getting punished now, do you?"
This made your head snap up, paying more attention again.
"I don't wanna kill your people, just wanna make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me, you can't do that if you're dead, now can you?"
Negan started pacing again, swinging his bat dangerously close to everyone's faces. "But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of 'em, more than I'm comfortable with and for that-" His feet came into your field of view. "For that you're gonna pay."
Your stomach dropped and you refused to look up.
"So, now." He started again. "I'm gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you. Let's find out which one of you gets the honor."
Negan crouched down in front of you and out of the corner of your eye you could see Daryl trying to come closer. You signaled him to stop with your hands behind your back and he did.
Your face got lifted by Negan's ungloved hand beneath your chin. He smiled at you. "Any volunteers?"
Despite your broken relationship you still expected your father to at least say something but everyone remained quiet. You never felt more abandoned than in this very moment, with your life at the mercy of a new enemy your father made.
Finally Negan let go of you, slowly pacing down the line. You dared breathing again, your eyes searching for your father.
He looked at you with tears running down his face, sorrow and regret written all over his features but all you could do was glaring at him.
Both of you turned your eyes to Carl, when Negan stopped at him. "You had one of my man's guns." He said, Lucille pointed at him. He also crouched down in front of Carl. "Shit, you're missing an eye?"
You felt your heart drop. Everyone but Carl , you screamed in your head. You'd rather die than to lose him.
"Bet you're quite a burden with an injury like this. Might as well put you out of your misery right now-"
"No!" You screamed in an inhumane voice. Daryl tried to hold you back but you were stronger, it took one of Negan's men to put you back on the ground, kicking you in the stomach.
"Uh-huh, get her back in line." Negan ordered his man, who dragged you back between Daryl and Abraham. "Alright, listen. Don't yall ever do that again, I'll shut that shit down, no exceptions. First one's free." He pointed at you. "It's an emotional moment, I get it."
Carl looked at you with tears in his eyes, you could not tell if they were for you or because he was scared. All you wanted to do was to comfort him but you couldn't.
"That's your kid, right?" Negan asked Rick, gesturing between him and Carl. "Now that's unfortunate-"
"Stop it!" Your father yelled, finally saying something.
"Hey!" Negan yelled back. "Don't make me kill the future serial killer, don't make it so easy on me."
Negan's eyes darted back to you and he paused for a moment. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke again, "I simply can't decide." He came back to you, Lucille on his shoulder. "But I got an idea."
He pointed at you with her. "Eeny."
That's been a bloody joke. You couldn't believe it. Negan made his way down the line and back up to you. He's been about the end of the rhyme and you followed along in your head. Glenn was 'you', Darly would have been 'are', making you the-
"It!" Negan finally exclaimed. You looked up, expecting to see Lucille pointed at you but instead she's in Abraham's face. Relieve and terror washed over you, followed by guilt.
"You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doin' that!" And Negan raised his bat.
You turned your head away, focusing on Daryl, his eyes also not leaving yours. With your heart hammering against your ribcage, you forced yourself to focus on your breathing.
Screams, crying and pleas followed the sound of what you assumed was Abraham's body hitting the ground. You couldn't make out actual words, only the desperation in their voices.
You were shaking, whether from fear or anger you couldn't tell. You tore your eyes from Daryls, when you heard footsteps again.
"Well, shit." Negan's voice cut through your spinning mind. "Look at that."
He leaned down on his dripping bat, forcing you again to meet his eyes with his hand. "Not a single tear?" He looked at you in awe. "Your eyes are not even glossy."
You held his gaze, unwilling to give in. "What's your name?" He asked but you remained silent.
He pointed his bat towards Carl, his eyes not leaving yours. "Y/N." You finally whispered.
"Y/N", Negan repeated, his face splitting into a smile. "You have bigger balls than any of the sorry shits here. How come everyone around here is weeping but you're not?"
You looked around and found everyone crying, Sasha was sobbing violently and that broke your heart. "I don't cry", you whispered again, meeting his eyes.
"Never?"
You shook your head and Negan's smile grew even wider. He let go of you again, chuckling. "Well, fuck me if that's not the most badass shit I've ever heard."
He raised to his feet again and addressed the group. "Now that's fucking awsome. Bet you assholes rely on that girl, don't cha?"
You looked back at Daryl and found fury in his eyes, he was trembling. You shook your head at him, silently pleading not to do something stupid.
Negan noticed Daryl, too, standing in front of him. "Bet you do more than the others, right? What would you do if I took her with me-"
Daryl didn't let him finish, connecting his fist with Negan's jaw. Two men tackled Daryl down to the ground again and you were sure Negan's killing him for it.
He didn't, he killed Glenn instead and after a tour with Rick in his RV, he finally got his men moving and they all left. You hugged your brother for what felt like hours, making sure he was still there. Carl cried into your shoulder and you tried to calm him down. Your father tried to talk to you but you ignored him, until Daryl pulled him away from you two.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You noticed?" Negan's voice is bringing you back from your memories. Fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, you nod.
When you look up, Negan doesn't meet your eyes and you're afraid you've crossed a line. But you need to know, it's been bugging you ever since.
Finally he lets out another heavy sigh, looking back at you. "You would have died for the kid and that didn't sit right with me. Think of me what you want but I don't kill family in front of an kid's eye."
You believe him, you don't know why but his words sound sincere in your ears. It's certainly not what you expected to hear but it's something.
Slowly you make your way to the tree, getting your knives for the next round. You hand them to Negan again. "Now it's my turn for a question."
"Yeah?" You look at him expectantly.
"You really never cry? I'm no expert but that shit gotta be unhealthy." He misses the tree again, cursing under his breath.
"I stopped crying shortly after the dead came back." You remember. "At first to be strong for my brother, he's been just a child back then. But when we had to run from the monsters for the first time, I quickly realized I can't see shit that way. In order to keep Carl alive I forced myself to stop. Haven't cried ever since."
Negan misses again. He's clearly paying more attention to you than the target. "You're brother means a lot to you, doesn't he?"
You nod in conformation. "The only reason I'm still here."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When your group returned to Alexandria, broken, tired and with two people missing, you dragged yourself into your house. You plopped down next to Judith's crib and watched her sleeping.
After an hour you peeled yourself up from the floor again and grabbed the bag under her bed. You made up your mind. Back in your room you started packing. You were so deep in thought that you didn't notice Carl behind you.
"You're leaving?" His voice was full of pain and it hurt you deeply but you didn't turn around, afraid he'd make you stay, like he did last time. When you didn't answer, he knocked your shirts out of your hand. "Y/N, talk to me!"
Finally you met his tearful eyes and your heart sunk to the ground. "I can't stay."
"Of course you can! We need you!"
Shaking your head, you drew a deep breath. "I honestly don't give a shit anymore. Dad's getting more and more people killed and I'm so sick and tired of it!"
Carl crushed into you, hugging you tightly. "We'll figure this out. We always do."
You bit down on your lip, blinking away the wetness in your eyes while clinging to your brother. "I almost got killed and he did nothing."
That hurt you the most, not Abraham's or Glenn's deaths, or the fact that their deaths could have been avoided if your father had listened to you. No, it was the crushing feeling of being abandoned.
"He did!" Carl said, letting go enough to be able to look at you. "He wanted to stand up but I begged him not to."
You didn't believe him. You wanted to but you couldn't. "This shit almost got you killed, too, Carl. I can't, I'm going."
"No! Y/N, please." But you tore yourself away from him. With your bag zipped up you left your room. "I love you", you said without looking back.
With two cans of whatever from the kitchen you made your way to your car. A Mini you bought from your first paycheck. The same car in which you picked Carl up from school, on the day the world went to hell.
You threw your bag in the trunk and got moving. In front of the gate you yelled at Eugene to open it up. He asked you where you were going.
"On a run." You lied. When you were about to hit the gas, the door at the passenger seat opened up.
"Out!" You yelled, when your father took the seat. "Out!"
"Y/N, please listen to me-"
"If you don't get the fuck out of my car-" You growled, shaking in anger. "I swear to God-"
"Hate me as much as you want, but please listen to me, Y/N", Your father begged.
You gripped the wheel with both hands, refusing to look at him. "I give you one minute."
"Please don't leave! I know you have every reason to but I can't do this without you."
Your knuckles are turning white. "Should have thought about that before you attacked Negan's men."
"I know I fucked up, alright? And I have to live with it, but I can't lose you, too. You're my daughter and I love you with all I have."
You shook your head. "Too little, too late. Out."
You drove off and kept driving until the sun went down. You had no idea where you were but you didn't care. Away, that was the only thing you cared about.
But against all your intentions, all your doubts and thoughts, you returned to Alexandria two days later, your car filled with cans and water. Eugene looked at you as if he'd seen a ghost, when he opened the gate for you. You saw Daryl running towards you and it made you smile for the first time in ages.
You just had enough time to stop the engine, before he tore your door open. He pressed the air out of your lungs, when he hugged you to him and out of the car. You let your head fall onto his shoulder, the last bit of anger you felt over the last days finally leaving your body.
Hushed voices and mumbling made you look up, about the whole town was gathering around you. Who didn't look at you in disbelief was smiling.
Your father pushed himself through the crowd. He looked even worse than on the day you've left. His skin was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes.
Daryl let go, so that Rick could reach you but you took a step back. You could see your father's heart breaking again but you didn't care. "I'm doing this for Carl."
He nodded. "He'll be glad you've changed your mind."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You look back at the target, Negan missed again.
"You're brave, you know that?" Negan's voice catches your attention again. "Not many people would do what you did."
You shrug nonchalantly, "Everyone should speak up for their loved ones."
He chuckles at that. "That's why your lover boy punched me?"
Lover boy? You cringe involuntarily at that word. Daryl and you love each other but certainly not in that way. "He's like a brother to me", you explain. "I don't have a lover boy."
"That so?" Negan asks, missing again. "Fucking shit!"
"Negan!" A voice called, both of you turn around to look at the source. "All clear", Simon confirms, coming closer.
Negan's looking back at you with a satisfied expression. "Wouldn't have expected otherwise."
He orders his second in command to get to the gate, before turning back to you. "Listen, I do acknowledge your will on making this shitshow work and your physical exertion doesn't go unnoticed either, so I am not going hard on anyone today."
He steps closer to you, more than you're comfortable with, but you keep your eyes on his, not moving an inch. "But the situation in your pantry is a joke that I can't laugh about. And I can't have that again. I'm doubting you're the only scavenger in this community, so you better make your team work harder and most importantly more efficient."
You nod your head, biting your cheek. "You'll get more stuff next week."
His stern expression morphs into a bright smile again. "That's why I prefer speaking to you, no objections, no excuses. You understand how this shit is working."
When two Saviors pass you, bags full with cans in their hands, Negan turns on his heels. "Till next week, sunshine."
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Chapter Index: Chapter 1 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 (End)
Masterlist / Negan x Rick's Daughter Series
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wisteria-lodge · 2 years ago
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bird primary (in the process of creating a system) + burned snake secondary
Well. I read the fifth draft of all of this. You're a Bird primary, you are, I know you don't like them, but that's because you've got a definition of Bird primary in your head that's just... wrong. I know you're not reading my analysis, but you probably are going to have to read *an* analysis at some point, so pick someone whose style you like, and have fun.
As for secondary, yeah, you're burnt. That's actually the theme of this whole submission. It's in parts, misspelled, very hard to read, and has a whole lead in about why you're not trying and why you don't even care about this anyways. And I think that's actually the point. I expect in your head, there's a bit of 'If I don't try, I can't fail.' Which is too bad really, because you're clearly smart and creative. There's good in here. If it were a little more accessible, people would read it. But you ask me to write a clear paragraph summarizing my thoughts, and that's what I'm doing.
(Oh, and all your fantasies are very Snake secondary fantasies. So I figure that's probably what's underneath everything else.)
~ Wisteria
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Sort me submission. full Version of final Draft. EMAIL me your thoughts please.
Final Draft-Read this whole thing, as it's the last one.Warning: I jump from thought to thought v. quickly, so every sentence may be a different thing.
some stuff, pls sort me if you can but know it will be taken as a guideline. also, pls add me to ur masterlist post smwhere as an ANONYMOUS person.
also sorry but i cant be bothered with grammar or spelling or punctuation or writing full out rn so pretedn this is a text message and it should be easier to decoed, especially with abreviations and punctuation and such stuff. i am really really really really really really sorry in advance for... well i dont really know why. plus one more thing or two actually before getting to it. i dont rlly know how tmblr works, like how do we communicate, can u answer, can i see posts, etc. just a word of warning, this will. no IS a series of ramblibgs and my own thoughts and dissections of my primary and secondaries. i did read your version of sortinghouse chats but i couldnt be bothered to adjusted any of my results accordingly (sorry abt that and no offence meant, i read your article and it was pretty good; i especially liked the way you analysed the different and most common forms each primary and secondayr can take.) Anyway, getting back to it. Just one last note/thing; this is the last thing/note, i promise you: I really dislike labels (im reluctanct to say/write hate bc no one should hate anything without a lot of whys and analysing how it feels, the possible reason for the felt hate and whether there's any other way) bc i feel/think/kbow/believe that they limit who i am and any potential growth. ive categorised primaries and secondaries as which i believe are my actual ones and why and the other three houses in models 1, 2 & 3, bc i connect with all of them in some way.
Finally, let's get to it!
I was really EXTREMELY stuck on primary, until (having read 1st Tiffany Aching Discworld book recentely) and finding my most personally relatable quote from that book online smwhere in pinterest with the Slytherin label and in the sortingchat (i mimssed a word, didn't i?) smwhere i feel inclined to believe that, being the selfish leadership-aspiring and valuing cunning in my top 5 values person i am, slytherin is my primary. however, let me break this dow further. if slytherin is my primary, then i include the whole WORLD in my loyalty bc i have a such deep loyalty and duty to the Earth and everyone in it because they are MINE and i used to be rlly jealous of anyone and anything that would take away MY world but i reason myself out of it now bc thats possessive and mean and cruel and bad but on the other hand this world and planet is MINE to protect and be selfish abt, but i also (sorry abt all the rambling) think ive kicked myself out of my circle of care bc even tho the world and this planet and this environment and these species and humanity and ppl are MINE AND MY OWN TO PROTECCT AND CHERISH aAND BE COMPLETELY SELFISH ABT (but selfishneesss is bad. no ti's not. yes it is. NO. IT'S NOT. It depends ow it's used and potrayed and the entire world is mine, my planet and my selfish spaec. well except myself bc all i ever do are bad things for other ppl), i am a horrible, terrible self-centered person that also smhow have a higher, more close-knit circle that im not in bc selfishness=bad and possesseviness= evil bc ur not allowing the others freedom and choices but i want to protect MINE and be selfish abt it but it's incredibly guilty too and.. im rumbling. too much said abt this, moving on. oh wait; but i could also want so much to be this primary that im ignoring my biases of wanting to have this primary bc it i relate to tiffany's quote so much and it soundsand is kinda cool (uhh, this is rlly hard to make sense of, even for me. sorry abt that. probably not even suited for the trash can, nvm a sophisticated and heartfelt profile like yours. ) ANYWAY i also feel like a gryffindor and hufflepuff primary smtimes, but that stuff comes a bit ater. i would say hufflepuff is my primary model 1 bc fairness is one of top five values and the idea everyone has inherent value because theyre ppl is pretty true. i find that i put myself down if i base my opinions of oteh ppl on how others think of them but have no problem putting them down myself after meeting and de-humanising them. absolutely hypocrtical of me.
according to me, (but i have an insiders perspective which isnt always the most claer. and ooh random thought: well done and thanks and i really like and really appreciate how you say smth nice abt everyone, no matter orting, on ur blog), gryffindor is my primary model 2 because authenitcity and integrity are good but hard to do but i dont think or know if id drop them, just like i dont know if id drop a slytherin's values (which i rlly cannot be bothered listing agin after doing so above. and wow, thank you for letting me rant to you, random person on the internet, in so many ways and on so many topics. anyway, continuing. ) its like yeah gryffindor values are good and maybe i used to feel them rlly well but i dnot think they go 100% with who i am but deinifnetely above 81.6% (not a random number, took time to come to this deliberaion of a decimal/percentage. wow so long and not even finished primaries yet. hmm, rnadom thought: i wonder what id feel and think and how id react if i was reading my own post thing on the internet without me having written it...)
anyawas, i think im done with gryffindor and cant find anything morw to say on it. for ravenclaw its just. no. not at all.
why would you find an external morality, based on sm stupid shit (sorry for the swearing, it just came out but i can change it if u wish) smone else came up with that u havent approved or u dont feel is right and that isnt ur own ORIGINAL "THIS/THESE ARE MINE" idea. like honestly (sorry for non-understanding. ha, one of my values is understanding yet i dont even try to do it with others. ) how can you bear to do that and live with urself? im rlly curious but also extrelemy confused!!??!?!?
okay, now seconds. slytherin doesnt feel rght either but it's the one that feels the most rigth and its weird but i dont why it feels the most right when whoever is reading this is probably thininh lioin but i think i cant do anything right (let's establish early on, my opinion= cheating is bad, v bad; for example like on exams and stuff. but rule-breaking is smtimes necessary and lying is good to stop others seeing u as who u truly are or upending their perspective of you as a perfect figure but it can be bad if it stops u from facing ur issues or managing them and can also be fun- like the time i convinced smone i didnt know brands existed in cars and thought they existed only for other thisgs like clothes and shops and toys and etc and in cars they were names and it was so much fun fooling that person and i still feel slightly proud of it but HOPE TO EVERYTHING desperately THAT THEY WONT READ THIS because that would ruin it and they wudlnt trust whtever i told them after that.) Anyways, im the least observant person on the planet anyways and dont think i could improvise at all in a topic i know onthing abt so maybe rapid-fire bird but im also kindof shy and embarrased of who i am so that factor into it and i have no idea why im telling a random stranger all this stuff but anyways.
secondary model 1- ravenclaw bc i want to imrpoviesse so badly its such a vuluable skill and generally fun and good way to problem-slove but im completely terrible at it and rlly clumsy and not brave enough to actively decide that i should be my authentic self through imrpovisation or competent enough to get the joy of it and then settle into a neutral state that encourages other to assume im anything other than a snake. how did this part end up being abt a snake secondayr rather than a bird? dont know, could know if i bothered to think abt it but dont actually care enough to cotemplate the possibilitiesof reasons why. if im delving into snake, i assuem i dnnt have anything else to say abt ravenclawand its tmie to move into the next model. oh wait one last thing: i want to improvise but am horrible at it so my first plan is to find as many references as possible to the thing i want to do then mesh them together in my own version to create a plan and then improvise and change the plan and its rules based on the outcome or/and situation. and collecting and becoming slightly proficient in different hobbies and info and subjects is kind of fun but also stressful but i nice place to relax and unwind and just search up random stuff im interested in and curious abt but it's more like a coping mechnaism used quite often now.
secondary moel 2- gryffidor bc i find that most times when i dont have enough data, i tend to bluster through it and stick with my cause without backing down but unable to back it up. however ive mostly noticed this either shows as ragged persitence and gulit and sense of failure when i get smth wrong or continuing ot argue for smth, when i dont rlly believe in it or would rather get more data or would prfeer to manipulate us out of this situation but ofc mnanipulation is evil but i...i...i... i likre it and it's the best way and by extension reading each others body language and position others is evil bc it doesnt give the freedom bc im manipulating them into thiking that way but on the other hand i could be a bird bc of specific language uses such as "data" and "fist plan" above, even tho those are only two factors of it. its like i wanna be special, a chosen one but at the same time i konow am not and can never be bc im not good enough or observant enough or socially daptive enough or myself enough or soccially aware enough especially of specific sociopolitical undercurrents that influence most things (not everyone and everytihng because v.few thigs influence absolutelu EVRYTHING) or empatheic enough or clever enough or cunning enough (whats the difference bweteen clever and cunning wanyways, except for cunning having a more negative connotations/misconception?) or too blunt which i know i have to be bc... ... well i dont rlly know, or too tlkative which stops others from voiving theri opininons (and hionesty, good luck with this and sorry for dumping this mess of a text/explanation and my mess as person on you) just generally a person atl all or eeven just human, quite often feling alien.
secondary model 3- i fell like hard work is important and maybe i used to do it but ow its a no can do thing for me nucless it really REALLY important, bc theres other more important values and it would and could be good but am a terible person anyways and ... i guess i show up at things but life is more than just showing up. theres got to be a method to ur madness (and wow, ddi i rlly just say, no, write that?) life is more about taking charge behind the scenes then exploiting it for the good and making everyone see you're their best option for leadership (if it's actually true, bc smtimes it's not and there are others better suited) bc of cunning and bravery and creaitivity and compassion and empathy and logicality in one neat package, when im not being a selfish person who foolishy and mistakenly believes they can take care of all that is MINEEEE! and ive probably maade this very confusinf gor you but dont u worry its evry confusing for myself as well, actually.
tahnk you for reading this and enjoy your ilife and sorry for the absolute mess that is this piece of writing.
ohh, and please list clealry the resullts at the very end of the discussion to reiterate them, if possible bs ive noticed that u dont frequently do that on the masterlist published articles and its annoying bc i find myself having to scroll up and untagle your complicated wordings of stuff which is quite tedious and erllay annoyong smtimes. thanks for crreating this website, and i hope you have whatever dreams you want to have in your sleep tonight and that you follow your real-life ones as well.
update: from reading ur analyses of buffy world i relate to following passage sooooooooooooooooooooo much. :
"Her threat to Ben/Glory is “If she ever comes near me and mine again (but without the me, bc im not worth it but my people are my and my responsibilty alone and i will protect them and be selfish abt them and absolutelu worth it, but i dont know what to do abt it bc the world is so bug and its quite selfish to waste so much time and energy into improving it, and quite hard but. it. is MINE.) and i guess ive kinda kicked myself out??!?!)….” It’s a Loyalist primary talking. Sure Buffy talks about the Slayer destiny like it’s her Gryffindor Cause, but really she’s out there to protect her people. And when those people betray her, it’s like the ground under her feet disappears. Buffy at her lowest is the scarred-up loner from Cordelia’s “Wish” vision: a Petrified Slytherin who doesn’t “play well with others,” waiting for something to kill her. An isolated Buffy is an unhealthy Buffy, so her arc is about the way her inner circle expands. When we first meet her, priorities are self-care (good hair, pretty shoes, cute boys, a place on the cheerleading squad) and maybe her mom. Buffy starts to include the Scoobies, then the Scoobies’ people, then Dawn, until eventually she’s a general leading the Potentials. She’s on her way to deciding that the world is her people, an it’s all her responsibility. "
except im not my responsibility because.. well im a bad person who shoudnt have responsibility to or for myself, rlly.
but the people i used to be... well, most of the wre and still are better versions of me and my future will evolve me as a person until i am the person i could be. - just weird thought that i noted down bc i dont get hoew others think that when you change you remain the same person. you dont. also, its weird but, more generally, the world is in my nner circle but i have levels of relatoponships!!???!?!?? as in not worth knowing, acquitancee, interesting person/want to know/ could know/ could become best friends with because of good mix of similarities and diferences an those in my elevated inner circle that id actually trust and those in my full and complete inner circle that are all my responsibility, that i should try pushing them to improve and beetter myself and that i should protect bc they're mine. not me and mine, just mine, possesively and agressively. p.s. i should probably mention, i think both my primary and secondary are burned, whatver they are bc no primary feels completely natural or smth i should be doing (but slytherin is the closest to feeling right) and i dont think im competent in anything rlly or good at anhthing much, outside of my opinions bc the questions is now to you= how would you sort me? for more information, email me. thanks and & bye. Update: plus one more, hopefully, last thing. i feewhi dont rly know how to write this but is it possible to have the world as in my inener circle but not have all the ppl in it? like have he world itself and select ppl, bc that is what i do much more than having all the world's ppl as well as the world. the part i rlly relate to iabt tiffaniy's quote is the tuurn selfishness into a weapon thing because even tho its bad its a good and essential part of who i am that i dont want to change even tho i can and could if i wanted because selfishness as a weapon as tiffanny uses it is inerehtely extremely powerful and feels right. like inistead of blaming myself for selfishness, keep it and adjust it to who i am so it feels like it should feel. and also maybe hufflepuff mprimary model 1 bc i realise that , yse while i do relate to its fairness, i think the best way, not necessearaley the right way but the best and most practical and applicapale the way ppl will actually listen to and respond is hte hufflepuff primary and i relate to its fairness and inherant value that each person has but its like i know it's ot me but i feel pressured to make that me in a way??!?1!! if that makes sense. thanks a lot and hopefully last update. oh and if ppl not in inner circle leave i dont care (and usually when picking new friends, it means i have observed them for a while and found that i relate to most of what they do and eventually approach them and after a couple of conversations think this mine from now on no one will harm them (or if they do, i find myself thikning of how to get revenge without being caught and if theyre an important enough perosn, evetually accomplishing it. ) and if ppl in inner circle try to annoy me i mostly ignore them if im healthy and in a good place and if they attack mine or am feeling particularly bad that day, then i will call them out on it like its my cause but fairness is mine not a specific cause. bye, thanks, sorry for the many updates and enjoy ur day!!!! P.S- if i was u, I'd wait at least a day before analysing bc i may send more updates as they come into my mind and/or i experience circumstances. also, one time i was remembering the time my dance teacher taught us some history abt the dance, where the all the men soldiers were killed by the enemies and the women self-sacrificed themselves and their children so they would never be forced to go in the enemy's army but even tho i can understand that last part, i cant relate to it bc in their positino i would pretend to be loyal to the enemy and get high enough to be able to kill the metaphorical head of operations and eventually lead a resistance behind the scenes wit all the information i would have gained as a "loyal" prisoner, but that would probably not succeed bc im not a competent
enough actor or that comfortable abt putting on a mask or good enough at sensing undercurrents in social interactions so i would get captured and put to death for treason in that nacient environment and i woudnt have been able to gain revenge for mine who had all self-sacrificed or help whatever left of my people; but when my acquitance asked abt it i said it was a school history project bc i didnt want them to know that i did dancing or was at all much physically active both bc that doesnt suit my cultivated image of an academic-bookworm nd my friend isnt that physically active and bc i like my projected image is good bc it causes others to undersitame me. and idont rlly factor rules into my plans ( hmm, maybe ravenclaw smth?) or in my adjusted on the spot ones or in anth rlly, i break rules when neccessry for smth or think its unimportant compared to why i break it but i dontgo out of my way to do it. anyway thanks again and bye and so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry a gazzilion times over for breaking my promise before and not remembering to copy final version into this and rlly especially sorry or this confusing mess of a ruminating rumble turmoil, clutter, uddle an barely coherent mishmash of thoughts. Update-here was a period of three years when i trusted absoluely no one bc i thought i shouldnt trust anyone since theyre all using me and no one rlly cares anyone and i dont have anything to offee them anyway nor can i let anyone see me or be truly close to me otherwise I'll hurt them or they'll betray me or both. Then i grew curious abt what my sibling was doing woth the neighbour kids and went to see and now after five years i semi-trust them but i dontvknow how or why they care abt me or being my friends since all i can do is hurt them. And we dont interact at school so im rlly lonely there most of the time bc even tho subjects r interesting and the reading and writing and hoework/studying and irganising and other stuff i do at break is absorbing and necessary it would be awesome tk have a companion, someone i could truly open up to eventually, who sees who i am and acceprs it without pity or endorsement. and even tho ive been lycky in the neighbor friends i feel so lonely and removed and isolated and alien everywhere also and im pushing everyone away more intently than that zero-trust-period and i dont know why or how to change that but im so tired of veing lonely so i approached an acquaintance thats on "possible bff", "could make great friend" and "to become froends with somewhen because theyre interesting and have 3+ similarities ans some differences from me " lists and i thought for a whike what the best approach would be but its eight years abd i miss having friends at school and im so tired of being alone and the constant itch of loneliness that i opted for the vlunt apprtoach to see how they react and simply sat down next to them and asked if they wanted to be friends. (last time i used this tool/technique 7yrs ago, everyone on the grp stroll laughed at me when i asked and kept on looking at me with those 'oh that was so cute' glances and pitying looks so i havent been proactive in friendship-making since then.) And it is going well a couple of days later; our conversations are fun and engaging and thought provoking and meaningful and i feel close to that person, like ive weve been conversing for months instead of days even tho i smtimes think the person might hace been better of without me bc i dont know if im at all loyal rlly and truly or if i actually even contribute to the relationship at all but life was generally so much harder and more tiring and flavourless without smone i could hang out with but am u even rlly building thisrelationship for them or just me and my pathetic loneliness? Lifes so much easier and fuller and brighter with close friendships- someone there for u, hoping they stay bc they care and telling them when ur in a bad place or the days not goingvwell and u hope desperately they react... appropriately. Its just so hard to trust when u know they
could be playing or manipulating u without u even knowing and especially when, in my opinion, theres not that much of a reason to maintain a friendahip with me bc i dont thinkni count as a reason, i start to wonder and search for their true motive. Plus if im responsible for that possible friend, i might fail in that responsibility or hurr them or forget smth meaningful to them or something else worse that i cant come up with rn. today, me and that person (friend?) couldn't meet at school's break and i felt so lonely and lost. i did find them afterwards and they explained they were finishing a project but still, such a close attachment from me in that short a time period feels weird and unnatural but the attachment itself feels and is calm, joyful, interesting, happy, engaging, serene, peaceful. still kinda awkward but we're getting there.
Update- A couple of new conclusions/possibilities I could also be a burned gryffindor primary with an extremely strong slytherin model or gryffindor primary with slytheirn ideals because i find myself writing and saying "i feel this" and "I feel that way abt this" and i check to see if things feel/sound right. i could also burned ravenclaw with a strong slytherin model. burned bc of what i think abt that house but i doubt it bc it doesnt feel right or me at all. lastly i could also be burned hufflepuff bc i dehumanise whole grps of ppl but i dont like doing that and dont want to do it, so im slwly stopping bc ppl should be judged on who they are not who others perceive them as and prefer/am comfortable with a small amount of friends and a limited inner circle of humans and tho i dont rlly trust the world it is still mine and i have a responsibility towards it. and yes, i would feel slighlty guilty if i abandoned a stranger in need for a friend in need but i owe mine my loyalty and help and advice and anything i can give or do or sacrifice for them; i also know that friend well so im the one that should and will help them and i'll make time for the stranger in need later, once and if mine are compltetly 100% fine and sorted out. and if anyone ever harms my inner circle of humans that i love (platonically or/and familially), respect, admire, value, trust (tho i dont nkow when that creeped up on me, bc i shouldnt trust others; its an easy way to get hurt or betrayed) and feel responsible for, what i call my "demonic anger" comes out. i named it demonic bc it feels so fiery and dark and pitiless and blazing and mercenary and ruthless and scorching and merciless and fierce that even those who its used for their defense/protection back away and cant bear it to stay friends with me, mocking/deriding/ridiculing me in front or/and behind my back and im afraid of that scorn and jeering but also afraid of trusting and my anger but these past few days of approaching that person at school and actively deciding to choose to trust smone again... they've been heaven on earth. Final. Couple of last thoughts before stop sending updates and wait for you to email me back.
28.3.2022 today, me and that new friend asked each other the question that if your closest person was a murderer that killed 50 ppl and was now badly injured, would you leave them to bleed out? no, i said, i would try to stop the bleeding because yes justice and fairness have their neccesery situations and are all well and good but what about the preson themselves andd how well you know them and ur responsibilty and the way they depend on you for smth/smths and the selfish way that u need them too? and then take them to a hospital anonymously and stay with them and try to reform them and understand why they became a murderer and if it can be helped aand even if they keep murdering others, they must eventually realize it's wrong, correct? and i will encourage thm to stop murdering others and i might call the police but if they are treated badly, iw ill btrak them out. and i think im slowly unburning my slytherin primary bc im gradually trusting my human inner circle of 5 and those who are gradually building up to that inner circle with more quantity and more true info and more accurate info abt me but im still not completely there and generally trust must be earned from the ground up, so i dont trust others the general population. but it can also decrease from zero to negative (dehumanisation or cotmept or dislike). but i know that i dont deserve to be in my inner circle because i often hurt ppl and am not good enough for them anyyways. i want to be a gryffindor bcuz a moral compass is right and morally correct and it's what the other gender is constantly told to be so i break stereotypes if im a gryfindor primary but hufflepuff is good ecause networking is a compulsory tool for my ambitions and if iwant any of my projects to succeed and its fairness is good but unrealisitic and impractical because ti cant and shouldnt be applied equally but to those who you do the following: trust, repect, admire, feel comfortable with, can drop any and all disguises and pretenses whiel with thee, and can and do talk to them about everything including difficult topics and it's almost never awkard and you can just relax and have funu adn allow yourself to hope they wont judge or criticise or betray because if u dont take that first step they wont either, so u have to be strong and brutally honest and just take that first step in trusting smone and showing them the staircase to ur human inner circle where i would hide their crimes and try to understand why if they make it even a third of the way up that staicase and into the first level of trust as a metaphorical staircase landing with a door for them to get out of staircase if, on that first examination they'll undertake, they fail. but that landing's door will become glass through which we can peek into each other's life and knock on to answer the door if they need me for smth bc i still have a slight responsibilty to them but htey have almost nil chance of entering staircase again unless they change dramatically and dont fail a more intense but shorter series of 3+ tests bc theyll almost certainly betray/fail me again.
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youcancallmemeimei · 4 years ago
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hey i wish you are doing well, and thank you so much for your sincere reply ^ㅡ^)/ did you try to make me cry ..?! maybe I'm just a little bit too emo thesedays but wow.. you really do put your emotions into your writings and it just shoots straight to the bottom of my heart like constant thundering and lightening as in a goood way! you must be a natural writer who could write stuff like the actual writers do! meaning your writings are pretty powerful and I could almost feel your breath in it!! Really Impressive.
and about why I didn't want to see a sunlight the other day.. maybe I should tell you some of my personal stuffs so you could better understand of me first but then it will become... like a book literally.. lol so I will try to keep it simple for you, and say I was just bit blue the other day.. ^^ just like everyone gets their time ykno, and thank you so much for the wishes!
and idk why.. but your supermarket example is so on point and makes me smile somehow haha you sound like a very cute and smart person, because you get to learn when you ask things to others and you already know that mechanism so well :) and your cheering words are very touching and bringing positive emotions to me and I much appreciate it for your kindness ^^! and you are right.. I got you! an online buddy :)
and about the hiding things .. and omg haha those LEGO and rocket examples indeed you nailed them again! ^^ and yep you got the good points! and I hope i didn’t confuse you at the same time. Many of these stuffs i was talking about were the things that happened at work because mainly my life is just between home and the work. and as you could imagine some work environment can be very toxical with a lot of politics involved, and because i was in a such role to discuss with other parties that are not my side of the team i had to often times represent my twhole division to discuss and argue with others to defend my team. and It could easily become very muddy, dirty and finger pointing. I’ve got hammered down a few times at work and they became very traumatic for me. i was trying to stay clean and transparent about my stuff so i said thing just as they were, and not giving them what they wanted to hear, and yea. But anyways, i couldn’t agree with you more to ur saying about LEGO (lego in capital letters makes it so much like it lol) and rocket in general. and Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Do you still hold your own small world inside of you? You know those small worlds where you can nurture your own imaginations, dreams, thought processes, ego, self esteem and all that?
winters have come to me about few years ago, and started to shadow over my life a little bit. and I had to make some mess inside of that small world. Funny thing is.. sometimes u get to hate what you used love especially when things go bad around u. it's really irony but that's how strong the perspective plays its role in our life I think. I used to love and care for my small world and built the strong wall around it, but for some reason it became like a very dark gotham city haha not that I'm a batman who tries to save it but more like one of those villains that lives in gotham city who's full of hatred LOL. yeah it sounds bit too stretchy, and yea probably i'm just stretching it to just make it sound funny..^^* LOL. just, there has been some undisclosed paradox in my life which i interpreted things wrongly and things went bad, and i no longer can fully trust my own thoughts or ideas. i'll keep that a short like that because it's not gonna be a good story anyways and i think i already said many bluesy things up there lol. ^^; excuse me for writing such stuff, i’m also slightly venting in here,
Anyways, thanks for the kind and warm words and emotions. And yes i should be happy on my own. And i wish thay they come sooner than later as well, because i’m really barely hanging on in this life haha, desperately need to find some way to gain back those self trusts lol.. well i will just silently wait until then because when i ‘try’ things it don’t go so well, but when i let things just flow as they supposed to be sometimes that work more better. idk lol, i still believe god is there for all of us, might shed me some light on me when the season comes.
and YES i do feel very happy that i could write something like unnecessarily wrong wall of texts with poor grammars and not really organized but you still try to understand and guving me your thought about it is really a small miracle to me indeed :) thanks many times.
i wish we had apple watches so we could give nudges each other LOL , but let’s think.. maybe sharing the apple music playlist? Idk. If you wan i can give you my id. or we could be on a same discord channel and be able to hear each other all through out the day? HAHA omg imagine that i forget to turn it off before going to the bathroom, gosh this is the worst idea.... haha i will try to think aboit that as well.. if you get some better thought do let me know too because whatever that is i think could be helpful and fun :) but just way you suggested this in your writing is somehow very touching to me and thanks for letting me feeling that. Back to think of it, i think i miss those feelings.
Hey Good morning! and in case I don't see ya; good afternoon, good evening, and good night! -🐸
Thank you!! I'm not a writer but i do love to write sometimes, but there's no one to read so....
I'm glad I'm making you feel happy, (i hope so haha) and I'm glad you're no longer in that toxic situation, i mean.... Jobs are usually hard but I've heard people say your job should be like "you're being paid to do what you love" and sometimes were privileged enough to do it but sometimes were not, and when you are in a toxic environment where your mental and physical are threatened you should think about it twice before staying there, but also we should try a little more, because we're not always the victims in bad situations, sometimes it's our fault, what I mean is that we should analyze both parties right? Your side and their side, sometimes were taking things too personal, but others times we should be taking them personal. It's all about balance and knowing were yours boundaries are but also knowing your weak points.
Of course I do have my own little world, and I'm happy to keep a couple of things just for myself. Because at the end of the day I'm all i have, and of course there's situations where our small world is troubled but why should we give our energy to something that doesn't deserve it, idk, sometimes we worry about such little things and we feed them and feed them and feed them just but thinking about it,then they start to be bigger than us when they should've just never existed in first place, something's are not worth it, is not even worth it to be thinking about them, and yeah, sometimes we change our mind and the things that we used to love are not pleasant anymore, that's what growing up is about, but that doesn't make you a villain, that makes you a human, you're not wrong for changing your mind.
Sometimes we push so hard so things to go on our way when we're better how we are, have you heard "go with the flow"? That's what we should do, a sudden situation happens? Let it happen, take the best from it, learn from it and keep going, of course God is there for us, we should look for him, and we'll find him!
I think being in a discord chanel together would be nice!!
So I've done it already, here's the link!
You've got an hour hahaha
https://discord.gg/dQ3b9s5
Good morning!!!! Or night? Afternoon? Evening?
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sosjimin · 7 years ago
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hey, i follow u on twitter, i noticed u sometimes comment on bts' posts in korean and have been wondering abt how u learned ur korean? I've been learning for a almost an year now thru private tutoring and I understand most of what they say, but I'm never confident to say even basic things like "sleep well". I have a hard time formulating answers in general both orally or in writing... did u do any kind of specific exercise/practice to feel comfortable with it? (btw i think ur rl cool)
Thank you so much for thinking i’m cool, if you ever feel like practicing korean, we can even help each other, i would love!! you can dm me on twitter
So, i’m still on the process of learning korean, which it’s not easy, you probably know this too since you’re learning too. It’s a completely different language, many words have similar meanings, or one word can have multiple meanings, it’s also a context oriented language and the list goes on. I’m also not as confident as it seems, i still struggle with some things, but the method that works for me is repetition and also surrounding myself with the language as much as i can, korean friends, following korean people on twitter (like fansites too, it works) and keeping ur eyes open to every single korean sentence u see, try to absorb that, write it down. For me the practice is actually replying to bts’ posts on twitter, studying with some of my close friends that know the language and help me learn too. What i do to feel comfortable with is use the language as much as i can, i probably have said some wrong things here and there, but what matters is the experience. So yes, try to surround yourself with the language as much as you can. As for the pronunciation, korean shows really help, like return of the superman, hello counselor, weekly idol, after school club, those are really simple and nice to watch to understand how formulating phrases, pronunciation and such works!
I’m far from being fluent, but everyday i study and keep korean everywhere near me, post its on my board, korean websites to read, simple articles and news, twitter which is a nice place bc its mostly informal and easy to pick up, i even get some posts to translate for myself, reading everyday is the key! If you know the sentence structure and important grammar you’ll formulate phrases so easily, this post covered the basic and most important korean grammar needed for you to kick start your korean fluency and this pdf of beginner grammar in use is also awesome!
So as far as i can express some of my wishes or even talk about my day in korean, just simple things, i do it, i always try to use the korean i pick up, always, it a never ending learning and practicing with korean, don’t feel embarassed or scared of doing it, maybe you can make a private twitter account for practice?? that’s what i do btw asdfjadf
A website that has been helping me so much because of the amount of free content and how they teach everything, it has rly been helpful for me and i hope it will be for you too, is www.sejonghakdang.org , there you can find the sejong korean books, so far they have 8 posted if im not mistaken, and also extra material like books to help you read, write, understand more the language, videos, classes, all free, a life saver, honestly, my korean is getting so much better because of this site! 
This is another website with free resources and this youtube video has really helped me with their tips for learning
I hope this helps you somehow and that the path to fluency will be easier for you, since you have extra help with private tutoring (which i don’t have unfortunately, and i have to do it all by myself) so kick ass!!! 
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himmel-arsch-und-zwirn · 8 years ago
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afrikaans anon again! do you have any advice for studying multiple languages at the same time? i'm taking a class for french and teaching sign language to myself but my goal is A Lot (i need to make a list, actually) and i'm considering beginning to study greek on my own right now as well (came here from your hp blog)
i’m currently (trying) to study way too many languages right now, so i’ll try my best to share what i’ve learned about language learning in the most concise way possible… imho it’s okay to take it slow when you’re learning multiple languages, take your time and get the basics down before moving on, push yourself but not TOO hard, y’know? Don’t worry about mixing your languages together, for the most part your brain is good at keeping them separate. Also don’t stress about forgetting a language if you have to put it on the backburner for a bit, for the most part there’s nothing that a little review can’t fix.
There’s a lot of seemingly-little things I do to make learning multiple languages easier, I’ll try to keep it simple and list what really helped me:
1. In my experience the closest thing to learning a language by pure osmosis is finding music you like in your target language and listening to it all the time, or being obsessed with some kind of media in that language. (ie a TV show, a band, literature, etc) 
2. MAKE IT FUN! I can’t stress this enough. Love yourself. Making your studies fun and exciting will literally make it so much easier and you’ll learn WAY faster. Don’t force yourself to agonize over memorizing vocab sheets and conjugations. Finding a way to combine something you love with a language will really help and make studying and memorizing a lot less painful; after a while, the technical stuff comes pretty naturally
3. Immersion and consistency are really important, and theres a lot of low-effort ways to do this that really go a long way when you don’t have a class or a group to study with, or a lot of time. Even if you don’t understand anything, just listening to the language—music, watching news, having vlogs playing while you chill on tumblr or do homework will help you start recognizing phonemes and pronunciation, and eventually words, grammar, etc. before long you’ll find yourself understanding what’s being said. You can also set your phone, laptop, facebook, + any social media to your target language which will make sure you’re reading at least a little bit in your target language every day. I have my laptop and Facebook in German and my phone is set in Greek, and it helps so much especially if I’m too busy to sit down and study.
For learning a new alphabet or writing system on your own, it’s a bit more of a hassle and it’s pretty normal to be pouring your soul into it and not seeing results or improvement for months. Learning Greek was intimidating and confusing as hell at first, since it was the first time I’d studied a new alphabet, but luckily learning to read was the hardest part and everything else is a breeze—honestly it took me a couple months on-and-off and I’m still a slow reader. I’m by no means fluent, but I totally recommend studying Greek, especially if you’re a linguistics/etymology nerd or have plans to study Latin or Ancient Greek
For self-teaching, if you’re like me and don’t have anyone in your area to practice with you or any native speakers, here are some things that helped me:
1. Finding texts/books in your target language, and just reading them aloud to yourself will help you get used to pronunciation. Reading books in your target language will also give you a solid idea of your reading comprehension level and what you need to work on!
2. SING!! learn the words to your favourite songs and sing along. Sounds corny but it’s honestly so fun and helps you memorize vocab and pronunciation at the same time
3. Youtube has a ton of resources! Some of my favourite channels for linguistics and language learning in general are LangFocus and NativLang.. For Greek specifically, I’d start off with videos about the alphabet, and move onward and upwards from there!
I know a lot of people who have tried to self teach but gotten frustrated and given up. I think this happens because people try to learn a language through Duolingo alone—Duolingo, Memrise, Mondly, Babbel etc are great resources, but to get the most out of them, I think they’re best used as a supplement to immersion, and not as the only resource. (Right now Duolingo has only released the Greek course online and not through its app, which sucks for me because I only have a Greek keyboard on my phone. -_- )
WHEW. Okay, i think that’s everything. Hopefully I didn’t go overboard, I LOVE talking about languages and i can get a lil bit excited. Also keep in mind I’m just a kid on the internet, I’ve never taken a linguistics course and I’m not a language tutor, what works for me might not work for you, and I may be totally wrong about stuff. Also HIT ME UP if you want a study buddy or someone to practice/share resources with!! (especially if ur here from my hp blog, i need more hp friends…)!! Hopefully my rants help you out somehow, let me know if you need me to clarify anything!! good luck!! 
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