#I just... THESE ARE THE THINGS I WONDER LATE AT NIGHT
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'A Fresh Start đ˛*ŕŠâŠâ§âËđ[part i]
After choosing to break the cycle, Jinx [now Powder] tries to find her place in a the countryside away from everything she once knew, drawn to someone who seems to embody everything she's wanted but never deserved. w.c 1.4k playlist!!!
The cottage was quiet, almost too quiet. She had chosen this place for that very reason after all. It was far from everything she used to know. Far from people who might recognize her, far from her past, and most importantly, far from the chaos she had attracted her whole life.
And yet, the quiet unsettled her.
Her days were simple now. Fixing up the cottage, teaching herself how to cook, tending to the purple and orange flowers she had no idea how to take care of. Simple things.
She only went into town when absolutely necessary, and even then, she kept her head down and her interactions short. People didnât pry, but she saw the curiosity in their eyes. They looked at her like she was out of place, as if she wasnât where she was supposed to be.
Except for you. You were different. Powder had noticed that right away.
The first time she saw you, she thought she was just seeing things.
You were at the edge of the farmerâs market, the sun shining down on you, your head tilted back, shoulders shaking as you laughed, your body so... unguarded. As if you weren't constantly looking over your shoulder waiting for something bad to happen. And for a moment, Powder forgot how to breathe. It wasnât just the sound of your laughter or the warmth in your eyes when you spoke to someone who passed by. You had this way of moving like you belonged there, like you were part of the town in a way she couldnât imagine ever being.
Sheâd only meant to grab a few supplies, slip in and out before anyone could try to talk to her. But then there you were, and she couldnât look away.
She didnât approach you. Told herself it was because she didnât want to stand out, didn't want to risk anyone noticing her more than they already had. But deep down, she knew the truth. You made her feel small. The type of small you feel when you're around someone you look up to. A person who represents everything you want to be, someone you want to keep in your life forever. She couldn't just walk up to you so casually, not when you reminded her of everything she wasn't.
And yet she couldn't keep her distance. Because even though you left her feeling small, you also made her want to be something more. You made her hopeful. A feeling that had been so rare to come by nowadays. That maybe, just maybe one day sheâd be as content as you were in this small warm town.
She wanted to know what it was like to feel so at ease, to be... satisfied. Not perfect, not terrible, but enough. And when she saw you, she saw how.
She started seeing you more often after that. Helping at the market, skipping down the dirt paths, stopping to pet the stray cats that wandered by, you took your time with everything you did, like there was no rush, like you had all the time in the world. It wasnât long before she found herself looking for you whenever she came into town.
You were always smiling, always patient with everyone you spoke to. She couldnât help but wonder if this is what being at peace looked like.
She couldnât stop thinking about it. About you. About the way you seemed to fit so perfectly. It made her heart ache, this longing for something she wasnât even sure she could have.
Sometimes, sheâd catch herself lingering for too long, staring as you handed out fresh flowers to some kids or waved goodbye to one of the older shopkeepers. Sheâd duck her head, hoping you hadnât noticed, but part of her wished you would.
Late at night when her little cottage was quiet and cold, sheâd let her mind wander. Sheâd imagine herself laughing like you did, walking through the town with that same easy confidence. Sheâd picture you waving to her. Not out of politeness, but because you knew her. Because she was someone worth knowing, someone you wanted around.
It was a stupid thought. She knew that much. Someone like you, so open and kind didnât belong anywhere near someone like her. But the thought still lingered, no matter how much she tried to push it away.
But for now, she stayed at a distance, quietly admiring you from afar. Wondering if one day sheâd have the courage to find her own place in this town, preferably next to you.
Today, you were at the bakery, carrying a piece of warm bread to the counter. Powder stood just outside the window, watching as you handed a loaf to the shop owner with that signature smile that never seemed forced. Your hair caught the sunset through the glass, and her heart did this stupid little flip that she hated and loved at the same time.
You were everything. Bright, grounded, kind in a way that felt genuine. It was the way people lit up around you, how even the grumpiest of the townsfolk seemed to soften in your presence. Powder found herself wanting to be one of them.
But not today. Today was coming to an end. So as she watched you place your bread in your basket, she took one last glance at your face before turning on her heel, heading home.
At night, when the world was still, she tried to ignore how much of her thoughts were filled with you. She told herself it didnât matter, that this small admiration was harmless.
But as the days passed, it grew harder to ignore. Harder to convince herself that watching from afar was enough.
. . .
You were standing near the fountain in the town square, chatting with a small group of neighbors. The market stalls around you were loud, filled with laughter and conversation. Powder stood by one of the lamp posts, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her worn jacket, and her eyes glued to you.
You were smiling, of course, your face lit up with that same warmth that made her heart skip a beat. It was such a simple scene, one she had seen countless of times before. And yet, today, it felt different.
Her eyes darted to the little group you were standing with, chatting like it was the most natural thing in the world. The way you tilted your head, listening to some old guy ramble about whatever. So patient, so... nice. Powderâs chest clenched, hard.
She shouldnât be here. This wasnât her place. It was yours, with your calm smiles and easy conversations. Meanwhile, her hands were shaking just thinking about standing that close. People like her didnât fit in with people like you. She was jagged edges and scrambled thoughts, and you were everything smooth and steady.
But still, her feet wouldnât move. Not backward, not forward. Just... stuck, staring at the way you chuckled when one of the neighbors cracked some lame joke. She hated how much she wanted to be part of it, part of you.
The thought made her stomach flip in the worst way. She didnât deserve that kind of peace, not after everything sheâd done. Not after all the ways sheâd ruined things.
But then you laughed again, and it hit her like a punch to the face. That sound, that easy, genuine laughter, it made her feel like maybe, just maybe, she could want something good for herself. Even if she didnât deserve it. She wanted it more than anything.
She let out a shaky breath, every part of her screaming to go home and hide. She almost did. But then she looked up, and there you were, smiling, like the world wasnât a mess. Like things could be easy if you let them.
Her feet began to move before she could stop them.
The crowd didnât even notice her no whispers, no stares, just the usual hum of the town square. She kept walking, her heart pounding so loud it drowned out everything else.
And suddenly, she was right there. Close enough to smell your perfume, closer than she had ever been.
You turned your head towards her, mid-laugh.
She shouldâve ran. She shouldâve stayed away, kept pretending this wasnât something she wanted.
But she didnât.
Her voice was quiet, shaky, but it was hers.
âHey.â
You blinked, surprised but not unkind, and Powder swore she saw your smile widen ever so slightly.
It wasnât much. But it was the first step.
. . .
I LOVE SELF-DEPRICATING JINX!!!!! i literally cannot stop writing her like this goly... anyways i loved this idea sm (and am so proud of myself for it like wow im just so smart and amazing) SO I RLLY WANNA WRITE A PART 2 FROM READERS POV WHERE THEY TALK MORE ŮŠ(^á^ )٠´-
also lowkey obsessed with the idea of obsessive stalker jinx but like this is supposed to be fluff so maybe ill write something like that another time...
thanks 4 reading as always!!! XOXOXOXOXO
#purple... *sob sob* and orange... *sob sob* flowers... *sob sob sob*#fav part abt posting will 4eva be making the banners#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#arcane season 2#arcane x reader#jinx#arcane#x reader
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hi!! I came across you and I thought your work is really amazing!! This is my first time asking something like this haha but for everything a first :) I really love figure skating and I was wondering if you could make a oneshot or any headcannons of the reactions of blue lock characters haha (mostly rin nagi and sae)! (sorry if I made some mistakes, English is t my first language)
ice, ice, baby!
âË á˘ blue lock various x figure skater! reader.
⤡ what kind of relationships rin, sae, and nagi (separate) would be in.
itoshi rin
âif youâre going to do something, do it with your entire heart.â
rin met you when he was only ten years old. you were his next door neighbor with a feverish dream to become the best figure skater in the world. although it may have been one of the loftiest dreams anyone might hear, he believed in you the same way you did for him. and together, he will see you perform all over the country, with him in arms waiting.
so when a cold rainy day comes and the two of you were walking home together under a shared umbrella, he wanted to say something. but you beat him to it. standing in front of your door, you turned around and smiled, saying only two things: i will be leaving to russia tomorrow morning to train with a new coach.Â
this first part came as a no brainer to him, of course you would leave. just as sae did a few months ago, you were beginning to flap the wings you were blessed with. however, the second part was what kept him on his toes, heart punching up to his throat: and i love you, rin.
after departing in the morning, he would stay up late to watch your performances on television. even when he had early practice, it was complete habit to see you on screen. your presence on the ice was unmatched by many of your cohorts in russia. cold and calculative, yet free flowing. like a confident stream you graced the fields with a polished play. alongside a perfectly timed quad axel, it placed you right at the top of the world.
the ultimate power couple. when youâre at the kiss and cry, youâll say his name to the camera before blowing a kiss. meanwhile, whenever he scores a goal, heâll raise his fist in a catching motion, bringing it up to his lips as he hides his faint smile behind his hand. your performances will always be dedicated to each other and it drives the press mad (rightfully so).Â
when you return to japan, heâs the first person that you see at the airport. in only a matter of seconds, with his extremely long legs and speed, he is wrapping his arms around you tightly, inhaling your scent as he lays his head on your shoulder.Â
he would immediately take you back to all your favorite places. during your time away, he had taken a multitude of pictures and sent you dozens of instagram reels of cafes. now that you were here in his arms, it made going to them all the more real (or maybe not, with you sitting in front of him, enjoying a mont blanc and latte, it feels like the perfect dream).Â
sleeping in the same bed as him had never felt any better. while you knew him to be a drooler, you would have never expected him to be clingier than a koala. he is keeping you flushed against his chest the entire night. if you think about getting water, he will follow you with arms tangled with yours.Â
itoshi sae
âiâll carve my name into ice while you all watch in awe.âÂ
the only other person with the same amount of arrogance as him was you, a rebellious teenager he found on the streets of spain. you tried to pickpocket him on his first day in the country. instead of reporting you to the police, he asked you one simple question that changed the trajectory of your life: if you had the chance to do anything, what would it be?
some people viewed you as a lost cause in the figure skating world. having started extremely late compared to your other peers, your name was rubbish and caked in dirt. however, it never stopped sae from coming to see you after every practice, watching as you practiced your spins and salchows underneath the dim lights of the arena with a coach heâd hired. to him, you were a diamond in the rough that just needed a push.
he didnât think much about your relationship until it was late at night. you were walking back with him to a hotel, face covered with masks to avoid intruding paparazzi. it started off with small talk, like family and friends (you learned he had a very cocky but sweet brother back in japan), but it quickly diverged into something more intimate that had the two of you walking into his room with intertwined pinkies.
when it came time to perform in the qualifying rounds, you had plunged the stadium with wails and tears. overcoming the countryâs beloved skater by a wide margin, you stood above everyone, head raised high as you pointed up to the cameras, hardening your gaze as you mouthed saeâs name. you must have known he was watching from the corners of the locker room.Â
the world of figure skating was going to change with you, a new generation skater that rose from nothing.Â
sae feels immense pride when it comes with you. even though there were many curve balls thrown in your direction, whether it be from bad press or his persistent fanbase, the smile you hid beneath the covers reassured him that you were going to stick it out. nothing in the world could compare to the happiness you felt when you were with sae. because with him, you knew you could do anything.
dates typically consist of fancy meals or sightseeing trips. he isnât particularly drawn to these activities himself, but what motivates him is the thought of treating you to something new. whether it be a pretty dessert from down the street that costed an arm and a leg, or seeing the stars as you walk along the beach, heâll dedicate a huge chunk of his income to letting you see the world in its fullest.
matching photocards on the back of your phone cases. sae uses a clear one so he can flip his phone around and stare at you before every game. while some think heâs admiring your smile (as beautiful as it is), heâs actually sees you as the perfect rival to his games. although you were both in different sports, the two of you constantly pushed each other to your limits, showing the world what it means to be the very best.Â
nagi seishiro
âthere is no point in anything if you arenât going to have fun.âÂ
he wasnât interested in figure skating until he came across one of your performances on youtube. it was really early into middle school when he started watching you. one of the reasons why he started was because you skated to a lot of his favorite songs from video games he liked. the second reason was because you looked like you were having fun.Â
unlike most figure skaters heâs seen, you made the sport look enjoyable (he thinks everyone else looks extremely constipated when theyâre too focused). with a beautifully confident smile, you danced across the ice, performing triple axels and a perfect biellmann spin. you skated as if you truly loved this sport, and this was the selling point for him (maybe this is when he started to be called a certified fanboy).
when he arrived to blue lock, the first thing he wanted to win back was his phone so he could keep up with your recent uploads. even when you arenât posting something figure skating related, your miniature q&a sessions were entertaining enough to keep him awake for the rest of the night, much to reoâs dismay (he wanted to sleep early for once).
the best thing reo had gifted him were a pair of tickets to see you perform at one of the biggest skating rinks in the country. nagi was almost shaking in his seat in excitement, eyes wider than saucers when you stepped into the arena with the prettiest outfit known to man. you blew kisses and waved to the audience, giving them your signature smile. you suddenly stopped in your tracks to deliver a long kiss in nagiâs direction, something that sent him into an early cardiac arrest.
your relationship with him blossoms after seeing him at the local convenience store. the two of you had awkwardly reached for the same cup noodle. even though you were dressed in a simple, oversized black hoodie and a mask that hid half of your face, he easily recognized you by the sound of your voice. nagiâs phone would have dropped to the ground if it wasnât for you catching it midway. when the screen lights up with a picture of you as his wallpaper, you smile and type in your number, throwing his phone back to him as you take the cup noodle and leave.
you and him would text consistently. after every practice he would immediately rush over to his phone to see if you had left any messages. expect a lot of back and forth photos. nagiâs pictures consisting of things he saw that reminded him of you while you sent him photos of yourself at practice or a recent choreograph.Â
imagine how shocked your youtube fanbase is when you show up with your 6â3 boyfriend who barely shows up on camera because hes too tall for your tripod. youâre teaching him how to ice skate and although he started as a wobbly giraffe, he easily picked up a lot of tricks. he might not be the best at doing jumps but his footwork was impeccable (you like to tease him about switching careers but he lazily replies with his face in your shoulder about how much work itâll be).Â
#âË á˘ ruruumin#âË á˘ letters#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk boys x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi rin x reader#rin x reader#sae itoshi x reader#sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi x reader
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Do I Wanna Know? - Step-Brother Spencer Reid x Reader
About: Itâs not easy fucking for your nerdy and hot step-brother when feelings become involved.
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, step-cest, step brother spencer, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, guilt, shame, unspoken pining, etc.
Word Count: 1702
âHave you got color in your cheeks?
Do you ever get that fear that you canât shift
The type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that youâre in so deep?
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week.â
Your mother married her husband a few months ago. At a time when they had only been together for a few months but they apparently just âknewâ it was meant to be. Who were you to judge, really? If you know, you know. You were just glad that your mother was relatively happy. There was also that added bonus of having a very new step-brother.
Spencer Reid, a profiler for the BAU and now your step-brother, was this nerdy guy. He had an eidetic memory, dressed like a grandpa, and was extremely hot for no reason. The day you met him, you were overwhelmed by his attractiveness. And he was so awkward too, adding to the appeal. You donât see him often strictly due to his work and the fact that he lives in D.C while you live in Las Vegas. But when he does, itâs as though youâre in heaven. And tomorrow, Spencer is flying out to visit.
âHow many secrets can you keep?
âCause thereâs this tune I found
That makes me think of you somehow
And I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep
Spilling drinks on my settee.â
Spencer: I canât wait to see you.
You: I canât wait to have your face buried between my thighs.
Your phone buzzed with another text.
Spencer: That will be divine.
You couldnât help the smirk that traveled on to your face. You remember the first time you ever initiated anything with Spencer. It was a month after the wedding. He had flown back to Las Vegas for a case he was working on and decided to stay at the house rather than in a hotel with his team members. You noticed the way he had looked at you whenever you guys saw one another. Like you were forbidden fruit. But he was always too awkward, too shy to say anything to you. You guys hardly spoke unless necessary.
That was until you cornered him one night after he had gotten back at three in the morning after his case had been concluded. You remember the words you had spoken to him. âI see the way you look at me,â You had said quietly but seductively. That night you had gotten on your knees and gave him the worlds best blow job imaginable. And ever since then, the two of you had a very secret thing going on.
Late night phone calls, sexy photos, videos of one another sent privately. The past few months had been absolutely blissful. The amount of orgasms that you had every week was astounding and you were absolutely never sick of it. Because you got to hear the hot and sexy sounds that Dr. Spencer Reid, your step-brother, make.
As the months had gone on, these late night phone calls would turn into more than just sex. Talks about your days, life, books you both had been reading, the shows youâve been watching. What was supposed to be nothing more than physical was slowly becoming emotional. At least for you. These days you often wonder if Spencer felt a similar way. But that didnât matter as much. You would never allow yourself to cross the emotional territory. Or at least youâd never actively admit it.
â(Do I wanna know?)
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sorta hoping that youâd stay.
(Baby, we both know)
That the nights were mainly made
For saying things that you canât say tomorrow day.â
The day Spencer had arrived, you spent the day teasing him. You wore a red dress that covered just enough to be considered appropriate. But if you bent over in the slightest, which you certainly did, you could see the sexy red lingerie set you wore underneath, Spencerâs absolute favorite on you. He hadnât had the opportunity to see it in person until now. After your family dinner and your parents had gone to bed, you had dragged Spencer to the bedroom, not even bothering to take your time.
Maybe itâs the way his tongue moves around your cunt, lapping up your juices. Or the way Spencer sucks on your clit, doing whatever he can to bring you the most pleasure. All you know is that you have to try your damn hardest to keep quiet, to make sure neither your mother or his father wake up to hear what their children are up to. Spencerâs face is buried in your pussy, tonguing your hole while his nose runs against your clit. If hell were real, you definitely would be going with how much you enjoy fucking your step-brother. And it would be absolutely worth it if you get to live this lifetime underneath Spencer.
When you finish twice from his tongue, Spencer finally removes his face from your cunt. His face glimmering from your juices as he reaches his hands to undo his shirt. You were already naked, something Spencer had done as soon as you closed the door of the bedroom. As he took off his shirt, Spencer licked his lips, looking at you with a look that you couldnât quite interpret.
You knew this was wrong. So ridiculously wrong. He was practically family, at least legally. He was supposed to be your brother, someone you can depend on. Well you certainly depend on Spencer for something. And itâs certainly not for anything family friendly either. Youâve tried calling it quits. Three weeks in, you tried leaving it be by not calling Spencer or texting him. You only lasted a day before you started craving him again.
âCrawling back to you
Ever thought of calling when youâve had a few?
âCause I always do.
Maybe Iâm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.
Now, Iâve thought it through
Crawling back to you.â
With you laying on your back while Spencer pounds into you like his life depended on it, you were absolutely trying so hard not to moan like the slut you know you are. You had a fist to your mouth while you looked at Spencer, who was leaned over you, arms on either side of your head, while his cock was thrusting in and out of your tight pussy.
âYouâre so wet,â Spencer whispered shakily, looking at you in your eyes. âSo tight. I could be buried inside you forever.â
You couldnât help the whimper that escaped your lips as you looked back up at Spencer. The look in his eye. the one you canât quite put a name to, was still there. Lust? Guilt? Love? It couldnât possibly be the last one.
âHave you got the guts?
Been wondering if your heartâs still open
And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts
Simmer down and pucker up
Iâm so sorry to interrupt, itâs just Iâm constantly on the cusp
Of trying to kiss you
I donât know if you feel the same way as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to.â
His lips went to yours, kissing you like you were his last breath and he needed you to hold on for life. His cock plunging into you at a rapid pace. The room was filled with the rhythmic sound of skin slapping skin and the wet sounds of your pussy. Had your mother and his father been awake, theyâd certainly question the noises going on.
â(Do I wanna know)
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sorta hoping that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know)
That the nights were mainly made
For saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (You've had a few?)
'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)
Maybe I'm too (maybe I'm too busy)
Busy being yours (being yours)
To fall for somebody new
Now, I've thought it through
Crawling back to youâ
You could feel the heat building in your abdomen as Spencerâs cock hit your g-spot repeatedly. âOh fuck,â you whisper moaned, breaking off the kiss. âSo close, Spence.â
âGo ahead, sweetheart,â he whispered back. âCum for me like a good girl.â He continued his movements, fucking you to completion.
You let out a whine, trying hard to not be loud as your orgasm grew closer. Spencer reached down between the two of you, rubbing your clit. And you gasped loudly, bringing your hand back to your mouth as your walls tightened around Spencerâs cock. Within seconds you were cumming, hard, spilling your juices onto his cock and onto the mattress. Your back arched as you came, your toes curling from the best orgasm youâve ever had.
Spencer followed you, cumming inside of you with ropes and ropes of his cum, filling you with not a single care in the world. Maybe it was a sick thought on his part. Maybe if he got you pregnant, he could finally claim you as his. Or maybe that was just your fantasy. You were on the pill, it was very unlikely.
Afterwards, itâs the cuddling. The soft words spoken about how beautiful you are and how good you did that make your heart flutter in your chest. The way Spencer looked at you with that same look. And in your heart you absolutely knew what that look was. Love. Adoration. Mesmerized by you. Your step-brother loved you. Just like you loved him.
But youâd never admit it out loud. Neither of you would. Because your circumstances wouldnât allow for such a thing to happen.
So in the shadows you guys remain, caught in your own little bubble where itâs nothing more than sex. But the calls while heâs away become more frequent, more about missing one another and wanting to hear each other. Many words spoken and yet many remained unspoken. Just as it will remain.
#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds smut#spencer reid#criminals minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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youâre not sorry - m.s.
summary: couldâve loved you all my life if you hadnât left me in the cold
warnings: angst, sensitive topics, no happy ending.
{read with caution}
wc: 3k+
Another night.
Another night waiting up for your boyfriend who could never be bothered to let you know when heâd be home; if heâd even be coming home that night.
It was like this for months at this point. Day after day of you waiting up just for him to stumble inside smelling like alcohol and weed, clothes disheveled as he plows through your front door. You didnât even know what had changed, but it had.
Things were so good, beyond good, to the point where you guys were considering marriage, considering a family. Maybe it was all too much for him, but that wasnât your burden to bear.
Your perfect, loving boyfriend had turned into someone you barely recognized, having to look so hard to find pieces of the man you fell for in the man you no longer knew.
You were about to give up and head to bed when you heard keys jingling at the front door, the man outside clearly struggling to unlock it. You stayed planted on the couch, waiting for him to finally come crashing in and make up some excuse about what he was doing out so late. You never believed him anymore.
When the door swung open and your boyfriend stumbled through it, his eyes met yours almost instantly, a small, forced smile appearing on his face. âHey, baby,â he calls out, shutting the door behind him and kicking his shoes off before he made his way towards you, tripping over his own feet once or twice until he sat down next to you.
You let out an aggravated sigh, standing up and walking away from the couch, not wanting to sit next to him and smell the alcohol leeching off of his breath. It was beyond disgusting and if the smell didnât make you sick, the thought of everything would. The thought of your life crumbling in a matter of months was enough to make you cry so hard you threw up on multiple occasions, the depression caused by this man that swore he loved you being the culprit of so many breakdowns you couldnât even count anymore.
âYouâre drunk, Matt,â you grumble, crossing your arms.
His eyes trail up to you, shaking his head quickly. âIâm not drunk, just tipsy, I swear. I stopped drinking a few hours ago.â
Your heart dropped. A few hours ago?
âAnd where have you been in those last few hours, hm?â You question, not really knowing if you wanted to know the answer.
Matt groans, throwing his head back on the couch. âHere we fucking go. All you do is nag on me fucking constantly, why do you think Iâm gone all the time? Iâll tell you. Because you canât fucking shut the fuck up and let me live for two minutes. Youâre always up my ass asking me what Iâm doing or who Iâm with.â
Your heart starts to race in your chest, knowing youâre about to get in another fight with the man you used to never argue with. You used to have perfect communication, always able to work through your issues and things that bothered you, but now it was like a flip switched and he wanted to argue about everything, sober or not.
âI never see you anymore, Matt! Youâre never home to just spend time with me! All I fucking want is to lay in bed and watch a movie with my boyfriend who cuddles with me and tells me he loves me! You act like I donât exist and it hurts and Iâm trying to stay but sometimes I wonder why I do.â Your voice is shaky as you speak, the adrenaline and emotions quickly getting to you. You never were good at fighting without crying.
âWhy?â Matt questions quietly, dropping his gaze to his lap.
Youâre confused. âWhy what?â You ask him dryly, arms still crossed in an attempt to protect yourself, almost like you were protecting your heart.
Heâs quiet for a moment before he speaks. âWhy try to stay? If Iâm so awful?â
Your breath catches in your throat. Was this it? Was this the fight youâve been fearing for the last few weeks? Has everything you both have worked towards finally hit a wall?
âBecause⌠because I keep hoping this is just a phase and youâll snap out of it and love me again,â you choke out, tears filling your eyes. âI donât understand what I did to make you not love me anymore and every day that I sit here by myself and think about it, I canât come up with an answer and you wonât tell me. I would do fucking anything for you and you canât even tell me you love me anymore.â
Matt let out a big sigh, picking at a rip in his jeans absentmindedly. âI do love you, I just⌠I need some time to myself.â
You scoff, crying now and not trying to stop it. âYou donât think I wouldâve given you time? Space? Matt, all you had to say was that you were getting overwhelmed and needed time think about what you wanted, I wouldâve understood that. Do you understand the fucking weight behind that? You have a woman who would let you take a step back from a relationship just because she knows how much you value your own space and time and your own autonomy. You will never fucking find a woman that will treat you the way I treat you. You will never find someone who loves you unconditionally through everything, including this. I swear to god, Matt, you better get your act together before you come home to fucking nothing.â
âMaybe thatâs what I want!â Matt yells suddenly, getting up from the couch to walk over to you. You werenât afraid, you knew heâd never hit you, but heâs also never yelled in your face like this either. âMaybe every fucking night I come home hoping youâve packed up all of your shit and left. Hell, you could pack my shit and Iâd be happy, I donât fucking care, I just want to come home and know that youâve finally given up on me. Donât you get it? Iâm trying to make it easy for you. Iâm trying to be the worst boyfriend I could possibly be and you still wonât leave!â
The moment heâs done speaking you swear you could hear a pin drop. You felt like your world had completely stopped spinning on its axis.
Youâre lightheaded as you stare at Matt, tears flowing freely down your face. He really was completely unrecognizable.
âWhat did I do?â You cried, still wanting nothing more than to feel your boyfriendâs arms wrap around you and tell you everything was going to be okay. But he wouldnât, and it wasnât. âWhy do you hate me so much?â
Matt listened to your cries with a straight face, barely even seeming like he cared. âI just⌠donât want to be with you anymore. Our relationship has run its course.â
You drop your head and let out a broken sob, reaching a hand up to try to wipe away your tears, but it was to no avail, they would just keep coming. âI love you with everything I have, I⌠I need you, Matt, how could you do this?â
Matt is silent, feeling like heâs already said all he needed to say. If he cared at all, he really didnât show it.
You pick your head back up and look at Matt, your own eyes red and puffy, when you see it. You think itâs a shadow at first, but the more you stare, the more you realize your eyes arenât deceiving you. You take a step forward and reach towards Matt, pulling the hood off his head and tugging the collar down, another choked cry falling from your lips.
âIs that a fucking hickey?â You accuse, looking up to meet his eyes. âYouâre fucking cheating on me, too?!â
Matt grabs your wrist and pulls it away from him, throwing your arm back towards yourself before pulling his hood back up. âBack the fuck up, dude, you donât know what youâre talking about.â
You laugh in his face, shaking your head in disbelief. âYou are so fucking pathetic, Matt,â you spit at him. âYou are so much of a pussy that you couldnât even be a man and break up with me, you needed me to do it for you. Do you feel good about yourself? Knowing you cheated on someone who would literally give you the world? God, I canât believe I almost gave you a fucking kid, youâre a joke of a partner. I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with you for the rest of their life.â
Matt clenches his jaw tightly at your words, hating how you knew exactly how to strike a nerve with him. âYou think I feel good about this? I fucking donât but I didnât know what else to do, you wouldâve never listened if I tried to leave you, you wouldâve talked me into staying and I wouldâve been miserable for the rest of my life!â
âYou are the one that said you wanted a family! The one that said you wanted to marry me and buy our own farm and live in the middle of fucking nowhere! You said all of those things, not me!â You wanted to hit him so bad. To shake him, to kick him, to do anything to make him see how none of this made sense to you. How could he say all of those things and turn on you so quickly?
You two were laid in bed under the blankets, neither of you ready to get out of bed for the day just yet. The sun shone through the blind, illuminating Mattâs face perfectly, his blue eyes reflecting the light in a way that had you damn near in a trance, unable to pull your own eyes away from him. âI hope our babies have your eyes,â you tell him quietly, both of you laying on your sides to face each other.
He smiled shyly at you, closing his eyes for a moment. âStop admiring me, it makes me awkward.â He mumbled, making you laugh.
âIâm your girlfriend, Iâm supposed to admire you. Plus, it helps that youâre really hot and easy to admire.â You reach up and brush your hands through his hair that definitely needs a trim, pulling it back from his face to get a better view. âIâm serious, though. Your eyes are so pretty compared to mine.â
Matt opens his eyes and shoots you an annoyed look. âStop it, our kids would be lucky to have any of your features, youâre fucking stunning.â
You giggle and roll over onto your back, staring at the ceiling for a few moments before speaking. âDo you ever think about that? Like what our kids will look like? I think about it all the time. Especially like⌠a little girl, running around with your bright blue eyes and your big smile. I just know if we had a little girl sheâd be so beautiful, Matt.â You turn your head towards your boyfriend to see him already smiling at you.
âI think about it all the time,â he starts, reaching a hand out to rest on your stomach that had been exposed by your shirt riding up, softly trailing his thumb back and forth. âI think about how protective Iâd be if we had a daughter, or daughters. I think about how much of an honor it would be to raise a son with you. I think about what would happen if you got pregnant with twins or, god forbid, triplets.â You laugh at this, knowing it would be an absolute shit show. âI think about our kids, sure, but a lot of times I think to myself, âwow, if I love her so much now, I canât imagine how much Iâll love her when sheâs the mother of my children.â Thatâs what I think.â
Your eyes become glossy and your vision goes slightly blurry as you stare at Matt, seeing the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke to you. âI love you,â you tell him and his face lights up, leaning in to place a small kiss on your lips.
âI love you more.â
âI did,â Matt shrugs his shoulders like it was no big deal. âBut feelings change. People change.â
You shake your head angrily, not believing him. âNo, not like that. Feelings donât change like that, Matt. You met somebody else, didnât you? All this time youâve been seeing someone else.â
Matt groans, rubbing his eyes harshly. âSo what?! It doesnât matter, weâre over now, right? Iâll sleep on the couch and pack my shit tomorrow, can we just go to bed?â
You sniffle, the truth finally setting in that heâs completely given up and there was no getting him back. The Matt you once loved was gone forever and there was nothing you could do about it.
So you decided to land the final blow and make him realize how stupid he really was.
You grab his right hand with your left, facing it palm up as you reach your free hand into your pocket, grabbing the strip of paper you had kept in there, waiting for the perfect moment to drop this bomb on him. You slap the paper into his open hand before taking a step away, crossing your arms again.
âWhat is this?â Matt asks, staring down at the photos in front of him, panic setting in his chest. âBabe⌠babe, what is this?â He looks up at you, eyes wide. You swear you could almost hear his heart pounding.
âItâs an ultrasound, jackass.â You snap at him, completely over his shit.
Mattâs mouth opens, then closes, then opens again, eyes snapping between you and the photos. âYouâre⌠pregnant?â He chokes out. Despite all the alcohol heâs consumed tonight, he feels the most sober he has in weeks, the reality of the situation crashing into him like a truck.
You laugh at his reaction, hating how he suddenly cared about you again. âWas,â you tell him bluntly, shrugging your shoulders like nothing you said mattered. âTurns out never getting any sleep and stressing out over your loser, lowlife boyfriend isnât good for a baby.â
Matt lets out a huff of air like his lungs had collapsed in on him, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. âYou⌠you were pregnant, and now youâre not?â He asks quietly, his own voice now shaking.
âYes, Matthew, I was and now Iâm not. Thatâs how that fucking works.â You walk over and snatch the pictures from him, ignoring his pleas of denial. âWhile you were out doing whatever the fuck or whoever the fuck you wanted, I was here throwing up every day by my fucking self, barely even able to eat oatmeal without getting sick. I was here reading up on how to get through pregnancy or how to be a good mother. I was here shopping for fucking baby clothes and decorations. And I was the one here miscarrying in our bed, by myself!â You have no idea when you started crying again, but you were, and there was no stopping it this time. âI was the one going to doctors appointments and listening to our babyâs teeny tiny heart beating. I was here looking at pictures of her tiny feet and tiny toes, wondering if sheâd look like you or like me. I was here picking up the pieces when I found out her teeny tiny heart had stopped.â
Mattâs eyes had filled with tears now, too, his bright blue eyes only made brighter by the reflection of the lamp lit in the corner of the room. âHer?â He croaked, voice failing him. âIt was a girl?â
You let out a sob, nodding your head weakly. âI found out the day I found out she was gone,â you cry, voice entering a higher pitch from your throat tightening. âI wanted her so bad, Matt, and I was just waiting for you to come around so I could tell you, and⌠you just never did and now weâre over. I went from a girl who wanted nothing more than a family with the man she loves to being a girl whoâs oddly grateful she lost a baby so she doesnât have to deal with looking at her daughter that reminds her of the man that broke her heart.â
Matt reaches up to wipe the tears from his cheeks, releasing a shaky breath out. âIâm sorry,â he whimpers, looking you dead in the eyes. âIâm sorry, if I had known-.â
âIf you had known then what? You wouldnât have treated me like shit? You wouldnât have cheated? That shouldâve been the bare fucking minimum, Matt, and now youâve let down who was supposed to be the two most important girls in your life.â You point your finger at him as you speak, wanting to drive your point home and let him know how badly he had fucked up. âI wouldâve done fucking anything for you, including growing your baby, and you threw that away, not me.â
âI was just scared, it was all happening so fast!â Matt wails, reaching out for you. âI got overwhelmed with the thought of settling down and I freaked out, Iâm sorry.â
You push his hands away, ignoring his pleas. âYou said it yourself, Matt. Itâs over. Besides, I canât bring her back. Iâm always going to look at you and remember how you treated me when I had your baby inside me, and how you treated me when I dealt with the loss of our baby.â
Matt sobbed, placing his head in his hands as his shoulder shook. âI didnât know!â
âYou shouldnât have to know!â You cried, hands flailing in front of you as you spoke, or more yelled. âYou shouldnât have to know Iâm pregnant just to treat me like your fucking girlfriend! I wouldâve done anything for you, including give up my body for nine months to give you a family, and you couldnât even be loyal, and you have to live with that for the rest of your fucking life.â
Matt sunk to his knees in front of you, head resting on your stomach as he wraps his arms around your hips. You just stare down at him, your tears dripping into his hair. âIâm so sorry, please let me fix this,â he sobs into your sweater, hands gripping the back of it. âI fucked up so bad, I see that now.â
The sight of him made you want to crumble. You wanted to give in, to comfort him, to forget these last few months and go back to being the perfect happy couple you used to be. You didnât know how you were supposed to live without him after all this time.
But you deserved better.
âGet up,â you tell him quietly and he turns his head up to look at you, cheeks soaked with his own tears. You reach down and cup his cheek, thumb swiping under his eyes to wipe new tears that fell. âGet up, Matt.â
He sniffles and obliges, standing in front of you once again, closer this time.
âYouâre not sorry you hurt me,â you start, voice surprisingly calm. âYouâre just sorry it backfired so badly.â
Matt grabs your hand that still rested on his face, holding it close and leaning into it. âPlease,â he says, voice raspy. âCan we spend one more night together?â
You break eye contact to drop your eyes to the floor, shoulders shaking with the sob that ripped through your body.
âYes,â you croak out, immediately melting into the arms that wrapped themselves around you like youâd disappear if he let go, your face tucking into his neck that smelled like cheap floral perfume, the scent feeling like a dagger to your heart.
You ignored it, though. Anything for one more night with the love of your life.
-
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#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fic#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#matt x reader#matt x you#angst
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Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and thatâs how her and Logan end up together.
Iâve been wanting to write this myself for a while but havenât had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what itâs like. I would give anything to be that person. đ
Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!
One step at a time
Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!
Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist
People were scared of things they didnât understand, of people that didnât fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.
To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, weâre a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.
Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you werenât useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.
You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.
But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasnât this. It wasnât the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.
Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.
From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.
So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.
It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.
Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.
"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"
You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."
"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.
You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.
Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.
Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.
He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.
And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"
The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.
Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"
And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.
"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."
A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.
"We- you- can do this"
You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.
"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"
You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.
He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.
But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.
You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"
"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"
You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.
"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"
"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"
Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."
He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.
"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.
And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.
#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#deadpool and wolverine#carbonsfics#wolverine fluff#logan howlett fluff#logan fluff#logan angst#logan howlett angst#wolverine angst
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đ°đ˘đđĄ đđĄđ đĽđ˘đ đĄđ đ¨đđ | đŹ. đŤđđ˘đ
đŹđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛: spencer takes care of you after a serious accident.
đđ¨đ§đđđ§đđŹ/đŠđ¨đđđ§đ˘đđĽ đđ°: hospital, rehabilitation, neck and brain injury, nud1ty
đ/đ§: this is one of the potential endings of my fanfiction "with the light off" which officialy remains open up to your own interpretation. this version written to comfort all the hearts i've broken <3
đ°đ¨đŤđđŹ: 11k
Spencer felt embarrassed by how, just an hour after leaving the apartment, he already wanted to call her.
She had already occupied a near-constant presence in the back of his mind, slipping in like a shadowâelusive and playfulâdarting between his thoughts, flitting from one corner to another whenever he tried, even briefly, to forget about her. But now? After that night they had spent together?
Spencer knew a lot about obsession. He understood the weight of the word and was acutely aware of its gravity. Yet he couldnât deny itâhe was obsessed with her. Physical contact had always been a sensitive yet profoundly significant subject for him. He didnât allow many people that close.Â
For him, touch was the ultimate proof of closeness and trust. Intimacy bred attachment. This wasnât about desire in its rawest formâit was something else⌠though he wasnât entirely sure what. He couldnât define the bond they shared.
He felt bored, detached from the world when she wasnât in it, and the only thing keeping him tethered to some semblance of normality was the thoughtâthe imaginingâthat at this very moment, they were breathing the same air.
He was starting to think he might be losing his mind.
He held off on calling her precisely to avoid coming across as a lunatic in her eyes. He managed to restrain himself only once he was at work, where the seriousness of his profession demanded it. In a way, though, he felt lighter. Throughout the day, he was buoyed by the thought of their upcoming meeting, the excitement it broughtâand the nerves. That mixture of emotions was enough to make the entire team glance at him with curiosity.
Garcia was handing out case files, her hair recently dyed a vibrant shade of red. Rossi, instead of opening his folder like everyone else, was watching Spencer from across the table, leaning on his elbow.
âDid you win the lottery or something?â he asked, so unexpectedly that Spencer glanced around at the others, unsure who the question was meant for.
When he realized the question was directed at him, he swallowed hard. Morganâs raised eyebrow seemed to challenge him to a duel.
âNot that I know of. Why?â
âBecause youâre practically glowing, sweetheart,â Penelope chimed in with a sly smile. âDonât think youâre getting away without telling me everything later. Iâll get it out of you, donât you worry. But for now, letâs get startedâŚâ
They immersed themselves in the case, but a few hours later, during a brief moment of downtime, he realized he was looking for an excuse to call her. Was a simple desire to ask what she was up to reason enough?
He wondered if she was still at his apartment. He hoped she was. He knew sheâd eventually have to leave to prepare for the shift she was starting later that afternoon, but he couldnât shake the unease gnawing at him about the whole situation with her roommateâs ex-boyfriend.
Realizing heâd been staring at his phone for far too long and that heâd soon need to get back to work, he made a snap decision and called.
But no one answered.
Logically, he reasoned that mornings were probably her time to sleep. Afterward, he tried sending a text message. But by late evening, when he finally returned to his apartment, he was starting to feel genuinely worried.
The question nagged at him: could it have been about the previous night? Maybe heâd done or said something wrong, something that had put her off completely?
Slowly, he walked into the bedroom, pausing in the doorway as his eyes landed on the perfectly made bed. It definitely hadnât looked like that when he left it.
Then his gaze fell on the slightly ajar safe, and he froze. The combination was incredibly complicated, so he must have left it open when he took out his gun and badge. Besides those items, there was one more thing inside.
He had once again fallen into the trap of keeping Dilaudid close, even though he wasnât using it. Was it possible she found it, and thatâs why she hadnât reached out?
It wasnât that he had lied to her about being clean. She had seen how much effort it took for him to talk about it, so she approached the subject with incredible subtlety, never asking directly, but watching him closely, carefully, yet without pressing.
If she had really found it in his safe, she might have felt betrayed. Or maybe she decided she didnât want to get involved with someone who had such a problem. Perhaps she had seen the whole previous night as one big mistake and then decided to throw him out of her life. Spencer, though it pained him, couldnât help but feel that he deserved it.
He sat on the bed, crushed by his own thoughts. Something didnât sit right with the version of events he had imagined. First and foremost, she wasnât the type of person who would turn him away because of this. Her heart ached to help others; she couldnât ignore someone elseâs troubles. Even if he had hurt her, her immense capacity for understanding would have remained intact. Empathy was imprinted on her, like a deep, unshakable mark.
Driven by a hunch, he reached for his phone to call her again. Thatâs when he noticed two missed calls from an unknown number, just fifteen minutes ago.
He pressed the phone to his ear, his brow furrowing in confusion as he heard the first sound on the other end⌠a sob?
The sound went on and on, and Spencer was too confused to utter a single word.
âWho am I talking to?â he finally asked. Unable to stop himself, he stood up. He didnât even know what was going on or who he was talking to, but he sprang to his feet anyway. His body compelled him, his insides twisting with unpleasant spasms.
It could just as well have been some stupid prank. The problem was, it wasnât.
âH-hey, itâs J-Jude,â a voice came from the other end. Female, shaky, and choked with sobs so severe that if he didnât already know her name, he would never have guessed he was speaking to her roommate. He stopped pacing the room. âI-it was meâŚI called earlier. S-she doesnât have anyâŚany family, and I didnât knowâŚI didnât know who to informâŚI canât handle this on my ownâŚthey just took her away againâŚâ
It wasnât as if the world suddenly came to a halt. It simply became both sharper and blurrier at the same time. Spencer could see that single, bright strand of hair on the pillow with perfect clarity, yet his own legs seemed out of reach. When he looked down, all he saw was darkness stretching below him. Somehow, he was still breathing.
âWhat are you talking about?â he asked. Later, he couldnât explain how his voiceâthose first wordsâhad sounded so composed. âW-who took her⌠where⌠and whyâŚ?
âI have no fucking idea!â she shouted, followed by a long silence during which Jude took a desperate gasp of air. âI mean, I do, I do know! They just brought her in, but... but suddenly they took her back because there was some kind ofâŚbleedingâŚâ
â...ding?â he blurted out, the first syllable swallowed entirely by his panic.
âNo, I donât want anything to calm me down, I am calm, canât you tell?â Her voice grew distant, as if sheâd pulled the phone away from her mouth. Then it came back, clear and pleading. âPlease, come hereâŚâ
She hung up. The phone slipped from his hand as if it burned him. In a frenzy, he bent down to grab it, only to drop it again. Finally, he fell to his knees, managing at last to pick it up. As he stood, he felt as though some substance was spreading through his brainâblack, toxic, and utterly destructive. Its effects left him barely tethered to reality. He could hear and see, but everything was overlaid with Judeâs words, looping in his mind like printed text on a screen.
The next thirty minutes were a blur.
How could it be logically explained that, in a state of complete detachment from the outside world, he somehow managed to figure out, based on the map of the area imprinted in his memory, which specific hospital she was in? How did his panicked, trembling hands manage to cover that distance by car without causing an accident?
The only thing he knew was that he ended up at the nearest hospital, wearing just a shirt with no outer layer. It was shocking that he even had shoes on.Â
He should have been looking for the woman who had called him, demanding every bit of information she had. But somehow, instinctively, his eyes searched for someone elseâa familiar face. He prayed it was all some sort of misunderstanding. Maybe he was fooling himself, hoping to spot her among the people passing by. A part of him simply refused to accept the possibility that anything could have happened to her.
Nothing had happened.
She was fine.
Her blue eyes were soaking in the surroundings, their gaze carrying that faint sparkle that always appeared at night. Maybe there was even a smile on her lips. He couldnâtâwouldnâtâallow himself to imagine what might have happened to her. It felt as though the universe itself should be ashamed for ever entertaining the thought of harming her.
"Are you family?" the man at reception asked. Spencer nodded. "I'm sorry, but I can't provide you with any information,"
"Just tell me, is she alive?"
"I can'tâŚ"
"Just fucking tell meâŚ"
"Theyâre operating on her right now," a voice spoke from behind him. Spencer turned and blinked. Only then did he realize he was in a hospital. Before, heâd only had a goalâan urgent need to get there. The surroundings were just beginning to take shape in his mind. He had never seen this woman before, but he guessed it had to be Jude. Her face was swollen from crying, but she seemed less shaken than during their call. She had probably accepted the sedatives. "Again. First, they spent almost four hours working on her neck⌠they said she was stable, asleep, but then suddenly there was that bleeding⌠I watched them take her out of the room right in front of meâŚ"
âDid you see her?â
Unexpectedly, she hid her face in her hands.
âI didnât know who to call. She mentioned you a few times, and I had your number, and I didnât know what to doâŚâ she began explaining chaotically, as if it mattered at all. âItâs my fault, you know, all of this is my fucking faultâŚâ
They were standing right in front of the receptionist, blocking his access to others who needed help. Spencer snapped back to the moment, pulling her a few steps aside.
âW-what did you say? That they operated on her for four hours?â
âYes, the first timeâŚâ
So, she had been there for at least four hours. Longer, considering the time needed after surgery before visiting a patient. Pain spread across his chest. While he was wondering why she hadnât answered his calls, coming to various conclusions, she had been fighting for her life?
He... had been at work, moving around, talking to others, living, while all of this was happening? He felt as if... as if he had betrayed her. It was absurd, even he knew that. Despite the state he was inâtragic, to be preciseâhe understood just how absurd that thought was. But he couldnât stop the guilt and shame that washed over him every time he tried to imagine her on the operating table while he had been completely unaware of her condition.
âI need to sit down," Jude muttered, and after a moment, they found themselves on narrow chairs lined along the hospital walls. Spencer barely managed to force his knees to bend, his body to settle into the seat.
He was only beginning to adjust to the foreign gravity that was pressing down on him.
In his head, there was only one thought, one resolution, one desire. The only thing that could save him from losing his mind in this waiting room.
"I need to see her."
"We have to wait," Jude replied, pressing her hand to her forehead. More tears appeared in her eyes. She wasnât just terrified, she was completely falling apart. "We... we once gave each other permission to access information about our health. You know, in case of an accident. The doctors told me everything. A neck sprain. A concussion. Two broken ribs and a broken forearm." Although her speech had been unclear earlier, when she listed the injuries, she sounded like a movie announcer.
Spencer quickly realized that these words must have been echoing in her head since they were first told to her. The same thing had been happening to him. Each word was like a blow delivered with full force, and his extensive medical knowledge wasnât helping him avoid panic. He was too aware of the danger and too aware of the suffering her poor body must have endured.
They both squeezed their eyes shut tightly. Spencer felt as though his temples might explode. Waiting. Was there anything worse in the world than waiting? Being stuck in ignorance, teetering between uncertainty, relief, and utter despair? Feeling all of it at once?
"How did this even happen?" he asked the woman sitting next to him.
He was sure he already knew the answer to that question. She didnât even need to say it. It was enough to see how she dropped her gaze, heavy with pain, and how tightly her jaw clenched.
âShe... fell down the stairs.â
Spencer wanted to scoff at the understatement. The real version of events couldnât pass Judeâs lips, but in some way, he considered that a blessing. If Jude had openly admitted that she had been pushed, he might have crumbled under the weight of the fury flooding him. But for now, his anger didnât matter. Only the passing time did.
He felt as if he hadnât taken a single breath since leaving his apartment. Leaning his head back in his seat, he endured what felt like two whole days, then glanced at his watch only to realize that exactly forty-seven seconds had passed.
Timeâa relative concept. In physics and in human perception. Einstein had proven it, and so had that particular moment.
He started to fear that he might never leave the waiting room. Memories and emotions began to blur together. He formed a theory: that he had been trapped there for quite some timeâweeks, perhaps. Back when another loved one had been on the operating table, and heâd been losing his mind in much the same way.
Could it be that, under the strain of this torturous waiting, heâd lost his sanity? That his brain, desperate for relief, had simply imagined everything that followed? The trip to the library that night, finding himself at her door, the string lights on the Christmas tree, the Venus flytrap, the bar, opening the door that night and seeing her on the stairwellâat once flushed from a night spent at the club and chilled from the December air?
And now that illusion had simply shattered, like a fragment of broken glass. He was back in the waiting room again, waiting, hurting too muchâand yet feeling as though he had no right to. His pain was nothing compared to what she was going through. He should be doing something, anything, to make himself useful, to not succumb to the weight of his own helplessness.
When the doctor finally approached them, Spencer almost knocked over his chair in his haste to stand. The doctor, however, focused solely on Jude as he delivered the update, leaving Spencer questioning whether he even existed.
âWe managed to stop the bleeding. Thatâs the good news,â he began, his dark eyes unreadableâat once cool and concerned, with the practiced composure characteristic of people in his profession.
âThank God,â Jude whispered, rubbing her chest as if trying to calm the frantic beating of her heart.
Spencer, on the other hand, felt no relief. Not even a sliver.
"âThatâs good news,â" he repeated the doctorâs words, drawing the manâs gaze to him. âBut⌠but is there something bad?â
That brief moment before the doctor answered felt longer than nearly the past two hours of waiting.
âDue to suspected brain swelling, we had to induce a coma.â
âWhat?â Jude mouthed silently. âHow⌠how could she be in a coma? Why? Was that necessary?â
âThey needed to reduce the intracranial pressure,â Spencer replied, the words spilling from his mouth without him even realizing he was speaking. âThe coma prevents further damage and minimizes the brainâs oxygen consumption. But will she⌠how long will sheâŚ?â
âOnly for a few days,â the doctor assured him, understanding the question he couldnât quite form. âAs long as there are no further complications or additional bleeding. But I can reassure you for now: thereâs no indication of that. Her condition seems stable. She was⌠incredibly lucky. It was a serious accidentâa miracle, a sheer miracleâthat she didnât break her spine.â"
For a moment, he couldnât utter a single word, his throat still tight, and the relief never came. He knew he wouldnât feel it until he saw her, fully conscious and awake. Until that happened, he would grimace every time he heard the word miracle.Â
"When will I be able to see her?" he asked, surprisingly calm and composed. The question was so important to him that his voice didnât tremble even once. In fact, it was the only thing that mattered right now.
"Youâll need to wait a few hours before visiting. We have to make sure thereâs no risk of a sudden deterioration in her condition. Also, only authorized individuals can visit her."
The last part of the doctorâs statement felt almost like a slap in the face.
"How many hours?" he pressed, impatience creeping into his voice. "Two? Four? Six?"
"Please, calm down," the doctor asked, making a gesture with his hand.
âEight?â
His voice grew increasingly sharp, desperately demanding an answer. The doctor opened his mouth to respond, but Jude interrupted with a question.
"As an authorized person, can I, on behalf of the patient, allow him to visit?" she asked, catching Spencerâs gaze for a brief moment before quickly turning away. "She would want this, I know it."
The doctor shook his head in refusal, providing them with a few more details about the surgery before turning to leave. Spencer watched him leave, something in him wavering between a sigh and a snort. So they wouldnât even let him visit her? He understood the hospital procedures and rules perfectly well, but when it came to his own case, he hated them with all his heart. They wouldnât allow him to see someone who meant so much to him, simply because they werenât bound by blood or a ring on his finger. A ring on his finger⌠maybe he should lie and say they were engaged? Although, would it really make any difference in the eyes of the hospital staff?
Before the loose fragments in his mind began to form a plan, he noticed that Jude was staring at him. She had sat down again, pressing her back tightly against the chair's backrest. She hadnât cried for a while now; a certain relief had settled on her face when she heard the surgery had been successful, but then the old devastation returned, stronger than ever before.
"I wonât be able to visit her," she said, her voice hollow. "Not even while sheâs unconscious. And when she wakes up, look her in the eyes. Tell me, how could I do that after everything? After all of this was my fault?"
Spencer turned away and walked off.
He knew that if he didnât, something inside him would break. He couldnât stop the anger he felt toward Jude. From what he knew, she had repeatedly refused to report her ex-boyfriend to the police, perhaps more or less aware of the danger he posed. She had the right to do so, theoretically. But that didnât change the fact that someone else had suffered because of her foolish decision.
In his eyes she deserved the guilt she felt.
Not knowing what to do with himself, he found a place far from her, far from anyone, where he spent the next few hours, hardly moving. Sometimes he observed the relatives of other patients in the hospital, also broken, but he had some selfish feeling that even they wouldnât understand what he felt. He placed himself on some distant, elite orbit of suffering and felt almost embarrassed by it.Â
Pain always makes sure that a person feels as lonely and misunderstood as possible in it. That is when it has the most power over them.
He kept away from the windows, the darkness outside, slowly losing its intensity, putting him into a state of shock and contemplation. Maybe time was a relative concept, but that didnât change the fact that it existed. Somewhere far away, there was light beyond this waiting room.
For some time now, he had been occupied with a certain task. He was aware of the hours passing and how, with them, his desperation grew. He felt he would go mad if he didnât see her. The designated time during which the patient should be ensured complete rest after surgery had ended, yet he knew they wouldnât let him in to see her. But he had a brain for a reason, right?"
He found the room where everything that mattered to him at that moment was. A young doctor was just leaving.
"Excuse me, ma'am,â he approached her politely, trying to appear calm, though his appearance and trembling hands clearly suggested otherwise. âI need to visit this patient.â
âAre you a relative?â
âNo, actuallyâŚâ He knew this was a desperate move and resorting to a lie, but he didnât care. What was morality in his situation? Just a word. He reached for the badge he had with him and cleared his throat. âIâm with the FBI. Iâve been assigned to see this particular patient; itâs a matter that cannot be delayed."
Believe it or not, but people often lost their minds at the mere mention of the FBI. Spencer suspected that such a young doctor might have some gaps in experience and not know what procedures were in place in such a situation.
The surprised woman took a half step back.
âBut sheâs in a comaâŚâ she said uncertainly, turning toward the room. âAre you sure itâs this patient?â
âAbsolutely. And as I said, thereâs no time to waste.â
He didnât put his badge away, still holding it raised, with a serious expression on his face, as if he were interrogating someone. It was clear she was torn with doubt, but fortunately for him, she decided to give in without consulting the decision.
Spencer almost ran into the room, unable to hold back his impatience any longer. At first, he felt as if in a dream, one where you achieve your greatest goal. However, it quickly turned into a nightmare, all because of what he saw.
Whatever he had imagined, he was not prepared for this sight.Â
Especially because before he even noticed her face, the face he was so desperate to see, he first noticed everything else surrounding it. The hospital equipment, the machines and devices monitoring her vital signs. The wide orthopedic collar tight around her neck. The sterile whiteness of it all, obscuring her and making her almost disappear against its backdrop. It wasnât until he approached the bed, his legs weak and unsteady, that he started to look at her, but again, not specifically at her, but at the injuries. The sight of swollen temples, the sunken eyes, pale and dry lips, skin like a sheet of paper. Every injury on her body caused him unimaginable pain, so intense it almost stopped him from breathing. He felt so much anger and injustice that she had to go through this that he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize to her, beg for forgiveness. For what? He couldnât decide. It wasnât a need driven by logic, it was something deep inside him.
And thatâs what he did, even though there was a place beside the bed where he could sit. He slowly knelt down, his hands touching the edge of the bed, but not her body. After all, he wasnât about to risk causing her any pain due to his lack of control. But he had such an overwhelming desire to take her hand, the one whose fingers shyly peeked out from under the cast.
"I should have gone with you," he said, after about five minutes spent in complete silence, undisturbed even by his breath, which he was holding back. "I should have. Walked you to the door and made sure you got inside safely. Iâm sorryâŚ"
He felt that with his pitiful apologies, he was disturbing her peace. She needed it to fully rest. So, he fell silent again, alternating between looking at her with furrowed brows in tender concern and resting his forehead against the edge of the bed whenever the sight became too painful. While before, time seemed to crawl at the slowest possible pace, now it was racing forward wildly.
In his perception, barely a minute had passed when someoneâs presence appeared behind him. He turned over his shoulder, noticing the young nurse who had let him in, and it took him a long time before he even realized it. After all, he had lied to her, saying it was some professional matter, yet she had found him kneeling by the hospital bed.
He quickly got to his feet, nervously rubbing his face.
âFor the patientâs well-being, no visits should last longer than twenty minutes,â the woman said surprisingly gently, leaning slightly against the door with her shoulder. An unidentified expression lingered in her eyes, making them seem...warm.
He didnât answer, just nodded. He no longer felt the need to play that little charade that had helped him get inside. He allowed himself one last long moment, looking at her face, peaceful in sleep. He passed the doctor in the doorway, feeling her eyes turn to him, and he did the same, out of curiosity. She smiled, sadly and with compassion.
"This had nothing to do with any FBI assignment, right?â
Her understanding seemed almost touching. However, Spencer, caught in the moment, quickly withdrew, once again making his way down the hospital corridors, now completely unsure of what to do with himself. He leaned against one of the walls, slowly feeling the fatigue from the entire night spent waiting to see her. He found his phone in his pocket, realized it was already morning, and that⌠Hotch had called him.
It was a quick collision with the outside world. He called back, as nothing else came to mind that he could focus on.
"Reid," the serious voice of his boss came through on the other end. "Why arenât you at work, and why arenât you answering?"
He needed to take a breath before he could respond.
"Sorry, Hotch," he said, trying not to sound weak, but thatâs exactly how he sounded. Weak, a little pitiful, and on the verge of exhaustion. "Something... something really important happened, and... I... I wonât be able to come in today..."
Spencer realized he had no idea how to explain himself in this situation.
"I canât remember the last day you were even late. What happened?" He didnât answer. "Where are you?" Silence. "Spencer."
"Itâs... a personal matter."
There was a brief silence from his boss, and Spencer could almost imagine how he furrowed his dark brows in confusion.
"I understand." His voice was tense, but not with disapproval, which surprised Spencer. More with... concern. Had he managed to read the seriousness of the situation just from his voice? Probably, after all, he was the best profiler Spencer knew. "Youâll need to explain later, but for now... take care of yourself. Do you need any help?â
He assured him insincerely that everything was fine and found an empty chair to sit in, hunched over. A strong pressure formed in his head, amplified by the helplessness and uncertainty about what he should do next. She was in a coma, and according to the doctor, she would be in it for the next few days. And what was he supposed to do during that time? He felt that physically, he could spend another hundred hours on that specific chair. Occasionally stretching his legs. It was his plan, one that seemed more real with every passing minute. At least, until a figure cast its shadow over him.
"Reid," a familiar voice spoke.
He looked up, surprised, at Morgan. His mouth was slightly open in confusion, his forehead deeply furrowed.
"What are you doing here?"
"How... how did you know where I was?" That was the first thing that came to his mind.
"Penelope. How she knew, I have no idea, but Iâm starting to suspect that her joke about having us all chipped wasnât really a joke. But anyway, whatâs going on? Hotch told me you called, and you sounded... unsettling."
His friend was watching him closely. His wrinkled clothes, his tired face.
"So... Hotch sent you to find me?"
"Reid, youâre our friend. Did you really think we wouldnât be worried about you?"
Spencer lowered his head, listening to his words. Derek was silent for a moment, his hands resting on his hips, his tense face scanning the surroundings. After a while, he focused his gaze back on him.
"Who is the person youâre visiting?"
He hesitated before answering, not because he didnât want to share the information, but because he wasnât sure how to refer to her. What should he call her? After all, it wasnât like they were in an official relationship, and the word friend seemed to leave something unsaid.
âSomeone... someone very important to me. She had an accident. She has... a cervical spine injury, and the doctors, suspecting brain swelling, decided to put her into a coma for a while.â
Morgan's eyes widened.
âDamn, Reid. Iâm so... Iâm so sorry.â
He sat down on the empty chair beside him, his face still showing shock. Exhausted, Spencer simply rested his head on his knees, no longer able to keep his posture straight. He felt drained, yet at the same time, he couldnât bring himself to leaveâcouldnât leave herâŚ
Morganâs hand fell onto his back, and finally, then sighed.
âCome here, man.â
With a firm pull, he drew him into an embrace.
Spencer found it hard to admit, even to himself, how much he needed this. No words left their mouths for a long while; only that brotherly, supportive embrace remained between them.
âHave you seen her?â Morgan asked after a while.
He confirmed, but didnât reveal the circumstances. His friend paused for a moment, as if he wanted to say something but hesitated.
âOkay, listen to me. You need to get back to yourself.â
Spencer scoffed and shook his head, ready to argue.
âLet me finish. I know you donât want to leave her right now, but with all due respect, you look like death. You need to eat and get some sleep.â
âI canât,â Spencer replied firmly.
âYouâre going to collapse soon. You said sheâll be in a coma for a few days. You wonât make it sitting here, think realistically. No oneâs asking you to go back to work, you just need to rest.â He looked at him seriously, knowing how hard it would be to convince him. Finally, he sighed once more. âDo it for her, alright? Do you really think sheâd want you to wear yourself out like this?â
He had no ready answer for that. Well, he did, but it sounded like no, she wouldnât want that.
âIâll take you home. For Godâs sake, you came here without even a coat?â
It's a strange feeling to let someone take care of you. Completely. Derek not only drove him to his apartment but also came inside with him. There was no emotional discussion between them, which he found to be a relief. Silent support, he thought.
His relationship with the other team members had been tested after Emily's deathâor at least, that's what he had thought up until now. He had begun isolating himself, not wanting to intrude on their grief or burden them with his own problems. But in realityâsomething he hadnât seen until nowâit had been the opposite. It strengthened their bond.
The next few days revolved mainly around hospital visits. Somehow, he had managed to gain visiting rights, and the time spent by her side filled him with a certain sense of calm. He could see how stable her vital signs were, and he clung to the doctorsâ reassurances that she would regain consciousness in just a few days.
He once read a series of articles and interviews with people who had been in comas. Their accounts sometimes contradicted medical facts and often included embellishments, but a significant number of them mentioned remembering the voices of loved ones and certain sounds.
He didnât want her to remember only the sounds of medical equipment from this period. But he also wasnât sure what he could talk to her about. Would she want to hear about the overly salted carbonara that Garcia had forced an entire pot of on him? Or about the abstract mural being painted across from his apartmentâsomething he was sure she would have liked?
In the end, he decided to read to her, though choosing what to read proved challenging. Sleeping Beauty seemed too ironic, even though she would probably laugh about it later. She had once told him Girl, Interrupted was her favorite book, but its hospital setting made him suspect she might prefer something that let her escape this place, even if only in her imagination. The Silence of the Lambs referenced one of their past conversations, but if a doctor overheard him reading it to her, he would surely be banned from visiting altogether.
âAll right,â he began one day, sitting down in the chair by her bed. âI know youâre not a big fan of fantasy. And yes, youâll have every right to call me out on this when you wake up. But still, I hope youâll like it.â
Arabian Nights was a collection of tales and stories originating from the Middle East, India, and Persia. Somehow, he assumed that the mysterious, often nocturnal atmosphere might resonate with her, even soothe her. After all, night had always been her favorite time of dayâthe backdrop to so much of her life.
That day, as he was about to leave, he leaned slightly over her bed, lowering his voice to a whisper.
"Tomorrow, I'll read you a romance, how does that sound? But Iâll have to go to the bookstore because, despite your beliefs, I donât have any in my collection. I wish Iâd had more time to get to know your reading preferences better."
During none of his previous visits had he touched her, afraid it might disturb her peace in some negative way. Besides... in the state she was in, she looked so fragile and delicate that he feared even the slightest touch could hurt her. But that time, he simply couldnât hold back. After a long internal struggle, he placed a very brief kiss on her forehead.
Spencer couldnât keep his promise. While he did buy a romance novel recommended to him with enthusiasm by a young bookstore clerk, he never had the chance to read it to her.
The next day, he received a message.Â
She had woken up.Â
*
You didnât remember much.
Only fragmented scraps. The memories began with a brief moment of complete physical helplessness, a terrible pain in your neck, and a series of flashing lights mingling with raised voicesâeven shouting. Then came silence, vile and terrifying.
But that wasnât the end. Something came after the silence.
Softly spoken stories. For some reason, they were comforting. In your mind, only a few blurred images remainedâno clear events or words. What you remembered most was that soothing, calm voice. It felt like an embrace, like warm bedding, the first rays of cosmic light piercing through clouds, or the gentle chill of evening air.
It was⌠beautiful. But it couldnât last forever. After an indeterminate amount of time, your body decided to reject that comfort and tried to open its eyes. It was an excruciating effort. You sighed with the strain. The first colors and surreal shapes began to appear before you. Slowly, you started to become aware of your existence, yet at the same time, you felt suspended somewhere outside your body and mindâalone and terrified.
The sensations were both faint and overwhelmingly intense, making you want to hide, to somehow cut yourself off from them. Yet you were equally afraid to close your eyes again. You muttered things that made no sense. You remained in this panicked state until two tiny brown points hovered above you, widening with concern. Only then were you able to calm downâat least enough to stop straining your body with attempts to move. Attempts, because your body seemed entirely unwilling to follow your commands.
The fear buried itself deep within you, drilling into your chest. At first, it suffocated you, but eventually, it began to weaken and fade.
This was how the first hours after waking from the coma unfolded.
Weakness, disorientation, mumbling, pain, discomfort, and light sensitivity.
It took a long time before you regained awareness of being in a hospital. Even more time passed before you remembered why. And then, your own condition and state.
You were so incredibly weak that it filled you with disgust, terrified by how much effort even the smallest movement requiredâlike the twitch of a finger or the blink of an eye. Frustrated by it all, you cried, and he cried too. But his tears were born of relief and joy.
Those two specific emotions reached you the latestâonly after they transferred you to a different ward, and your thoughts began to clear. Relief and joy. Hand in hand with fear and anxiety.Â
It felt so unreal, yet it was realâreal like nothing else, and it held you tightly, exactly the way you needed it to.
*
Spencer was aware that her awakening was just another step in a very long journey.
His medical knowledge, modestly speaking, was fairly extensive, and he understood the gravity of the injuries she had sustained. Their first meeting after she had opened her eyes for the first time was nothing like a scene from a movie. She was confused, still drowsy, and as she slowly started to comprehend everything, she was primarily terrified. Her body, after the time spent in the coma, though brief, was extremely weak, and every little movement exhausted her as though she had just run a marathon.
The fear on her face pierced his chest.
He had the impression that none of the words he spoke, almost whispered in an attempt to calm her, were having any effect.
"I... I can't move," she stammered as one of the first things she said. Her eyes intensely focused on his face, searching for safety in it, and he feared he wouldn't be able to provide it for her.
"It's just temporary," he reassured her gently, leaning over her bed and trying to smile, but it came out uncertain, he was too worried about her condition. "The doctors say so, and that's the truth. Your body is just very weak right now."
"Will... will it be like this forever?"
"No, no, it will pass. I promise, it will pass," he nodded fervently. She hesitated and took a breath, as though discovering an entirely new action. But as soon as she did, out of fear, it became fast and irregular. He was terrified that his touch might cause her pain, but he didn't know what else he could do to help her. Gently, as gently as he could, he placed his hand on her cheek, barely grazing it with his thumb. "You'll feel better soon. Really, it wonât be long now. For now... just donât overexert yourself, please, breathe."
At first, she flinched. He wanted to withdraw his hand as quickly as possible, but then he felt her press her face against it, almost nuzzling into it. A shy tear danced in one of her eyes, barely noticeable.
"Itâs good to see you," she said after a brief silence, a soft sigh escaping her lipsâalmost like a laugh, though it didnât quite make it. Her breath was still shallow and uneven, but with each passing moment, it seemed to steady as he held her close.
And in that moment, seeing her like that, feeling her presence so close, a smile spread across his faceâa smile so genuine, so long-awaitedâand with it came the tears heâd been holding back for what felt like forever.
"I feel the same," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "You have no idea how much."
*
The orthopedic collar pissed you off like nothing else.
It wasnât even the discomfort that bothered you, it was just... the collar was such a painful reminder of your condition, a testament to what you had been through. And you were supposed to wear it for another six to eight weeks.
Two weeks after waking from the coma, preparations for leaving the hospital were beginning. The risk of brain swelling had subsided, the injuries were healing, and the concussion still made its presence known, but the pain was no longer as intense. You could even have a normal conversation, which you seized almost immediately, striking up a chat with the teenage girl in the bed next to you, her sad expression tugging at your heart.
Few people visited you; you preferred that the two most important ones could spend as much time with you as possible, rather than inviting coworkers or acquaintances you hadnât spoken to in months. The two most important people.
Spencer had been with you since the moment you woke up, and as the doctor confessed to you with a small smile, he had also stayed by your side while you were in a coma. You were in shock. Not because he had done itâit made perfect sense, given his caring nature. The shock came from the simple fact that one person could care so deeply about another, about you.
It didnât take long for you to realize that the moments when he visited you became your favorite part of the entire day. And not just because they revolved around checking your condition, tests, and the first, incredibly light rehabilitation exercises. You simply found yourself waiting for the moment he would appear in that doorway again, holding his coat in hand, smiling.
"Hello, handsome stranger," you greeted him one day, the first day you were starting to feel better.
 Spencer stopped at the sound of that term, tilting his head with an even wider smile.
 "How else did I used to call you?" you mused aloud. "Ah, I used to call you Mr. Mysterious. But I suppose that's no longer fitting, you smile too much to seem mysterious."
 "Because I have a reason," he replied, stopping beside your bed and glancing at the flowers placed there, the ones that had greeted you when you woke up that day. "But in that case, 'Handsome stranger' doesnât fit either, since you know me now."
"But you are handsome. Half of it fits, so I have the right to call you that. Who... who sent me these flowers?"
"Better question would be, who didnât send you those?" he muttered, referring to their large number. You could only admire themâthe beautiful, colorful arrangementsâbut you hadnât had the chance to read the notes and messages attached. Spencer glanced at one of them, his smile fading, though not in a bad way... somehow, the expression that appeared on his face was even more pleasing than his smile. "This... this oneâs from my team."
You were simply speechless.
 "They... they even know I exist?"
 "Of course they do, how could they not?" Spencer paused for a moment, looking at you thoughtfully. "They... they were with me the whole time you were in a coma. They helped me keep my head together."
 "Donât exaggerate," you tried to dispel the sudden serious mood. You didnât want to delude yourself into thinking he had been that worried about you during that time.Â
 "Itâs not an exaggeration," he replied briefly and seriously, his face almost motionless.
For a moment, you fell silent, your hands resting on the blanket in front of you.
 "Sorry, Spencer. I just realized Iâve never thanked you for this..."
"What?" he asked, surprised, his brows furrowing. "This isnât something you have to thank me for..."
"But I feel like I have to. This... this isnât some small, silly favor. You really did so much for me... I still donât fully understand why..."
 "You donât understand why?"
"Yeah," you sighed uncertainly, not sure how to put it into words. "Donât get me wrong... Iâm so grateful to you, itâs just... look at it this way. We didnât know each other that long, we saw each other rarely. We slept together once. Itâs not like you wereâŚobligated to help me."
"I didnât have to be obligated to do it," he said after a moment of hesitation, circling your bed and sitting on the edge, just barely touching it. "And I didnât have to know you for years. I just wanted to do it because of how much I cared about you. And if that explanation doesnât convince you... then..." He swallowed hard. "Remember, you were there for me during one of the worst moments of my life."
âItâs not the same...â
 âOh, but it is. For me, it is. But I donât want you to think that I was there for you because I felt like I owed you something. Or that I had to... I donât know... repay you in some way. Thatâs not it at all.â
You didnât answer, something tight gripped your throat. You just tilted your head, overwhelmed with emotion, speechless. The only thing you truly wanted to do was stretch out your arms and drape them around his neck, resting your chin on his shoulder. Spencer sighed, surprised and tense. It wasnât until a brief moment passed that his hands gently touched your back.
âHow much longer are you going to act like Iâm made of glass?â you asked.
You knew his caution was justified, but Jesus. You just really wanted to hug him properly.
âProbably forever,â he replied, to which you rolled your eyes.
He was the one to break the hug, but in compensation, he quickly kissed the top of your head. You leaned back against the bed, feeling a pleasant sensation in your stomach. Spencer returned to the flowers to tell you who had sent them all.
âSo these are from my team,â he picked up the lost thread, pointing to the arrangement of white and pink carnations. He chuckled. âAnd Iâm pretty sure Penelope picked them out, not just because her name is listed first. White represents perseverance and strength. Pink stands for admiration and respect.â
âThatâs really thoughtful. And beautiful. Iâll have to thank them. And these tulips?â
Spencer took the note attached to the mentioned flowers between his fingers.
âFrom... Jerry.â
âWhat? My husband sent me flowers?â
 âWhat?â He jerked his head up in surprise.
You laughed so hard at the look on his face that it made you wince in your ribs.
 âIâm fucking kidding, you fool,â you replied, clutching your side with a groan. âJerry is the librarian. You should know him. He once asked me what flowers he should buy for his wife, and I suggested yellow tulips. By the way, it's so nice of himâ.
You said it affectionately, but it sounded incredibly weak. Along with the pain in your ribs, a headache joined in, and suddenly all the energy you'd had earlier evaporated.
âWhat's happening? Should I call a doctor?â
âNo,â you shook your head in refusal. âI just need to lie down for a moment. Come here.â
Spencer followed your request and sat beside your bed, his body a little stiff, as if in guilt.
"I'm sorry I made you laugh."
"That's probably the strangest thing you could apologize for," you muttered, lying down in the position that was best for your neck, one you almost hated as much as the orthopedic collar. "Well, I guess I could come up with something stranger. Sorry I left that million dollars in your nightstand. It won't happen again."
"I'm not sure if this kind of chatter is particularly good for your condition."
"It helps me mentally, and that's what matters most. Besides, stop complaining."
"How could I possibly dare?"
He fell silent, simply watching you with quiet concern. You closed your eyes for a moment, unsure if you might accidentally drift off. After spending a week in a coma, your sleep routine had become completely erratic. You slept through the nights, mostly because there was little else to do, and you didnât want to disturb the other patients in the ward. During the day, Spencer would visit, and you wanted to be as rested as possible when he was around.
When he wasnât there, you sometimes napped during the day as well. According to the doctors, it was one of the best things you could do for your recoveryâsleep and rest as much as your body needed.
"Is something bothering you?" he asked.
You hesitated for a long moment, because yes, something was weighing heavily on your mind. Had he guessed, or had he read it on your face?
âItâs justâŚâ you began with a sigh. âYou know Jude barely visits me? I mean, she shows up every day, but⌠sheâs so tense and distant when sheâs here. She doesnât say much, and she wonât look me in the eyes.â
"Sheâs blaming herself," Spencer said softly.
âGod, thatâs so stupid,â you muttered.
You had a strange relationship with the accident. You thought about it as little as possible, keeping it at armâs length. You knew Richard had been arrested, but you didnât want to know the details of his sentencing. In no way did you see any of it as Judeâs fault, and it hurt you deeply to think that she did.
You spent a quiet moment together before Spencer leaned over you again, intending to kiss your forehead.
âIâm sorry, but Iâll have to go now,â he said, to which you nodded in understanding.
But then you shifted your head, pulling back just enough to stop him from brushing his lips against your forehead. He looked at you, puzzled, since youâd never minded it before.
This time, though, you wanted him to kiss you on the lips.
He kissed you slowly. You had almost forgotten how he tasted.
After that, you didnât bother opening your eyes again. You let yourself imagine that he wasnât leaving at all, and with that comforting thought, you drifted off to sleep.
*
Spencer had felt strange since the morning.
 Energized and excited. In the absolute best possible way.
That day, he could finally take her home. Well, to his apartment. She needed someone to take care of her, and he felt honored to be that person.
The day before, he had made a very important, yet difficult decision. He invited JJ over and confessed everything to herâabout the past few weeks and his struggles with relapsing into addiction. He needed to rid himself of that burden. Besides, he had promised himself that as long as she was living with him, not even the smallest dose of Dilaudid would find its way inside. Never again.
In his worst moments, he imagined that his friend would react with disgustâpure, painful disgustâand push him away. Instead, her eyes filled with something strange the moment he began to speak about how he had felt after Emily's death. Over and over, she whispered apologies, as though she were the one responsible for it.
He still missed Emily, of course, and he knew he would always miss her. That was just the way of thingsâpeople left, and it was up to you to decide whether you would remember them with heartbreaking despair or with a wistful sigh. In fact, these were merely two ends of the same spectrum, and it was very easy to get stuck at the beginning, unable to move forward.
She was surprisingly quiet in the car and seemed depressed. Actually, it was hard not to blame her. She had spent a long time in the hospital, gotten used to that routine, and the change made her feel lost. Sitting in the passenger seat, she kept her gaze fixed ahead, but not on the road. She couldnât see where they were headed, which made it difficult for Spencer to tell her something⌠at least important.
 When they stopped, she furrowed her brow in surprise.
 âWhy are we here?â
They were parked under his apartment, and she had been under the impression they were heading to her place.
 âSorry, I shouldâve told you earlier, I really apologize,â Spencer blurted out in one breath, chaotically. âI absolutely realize that this is like putting you in a situation you didnât expect, but⌠but when you were in the hospital, Jude found herself a new roommate. She didnât really know how to tell you, but she had to do it because she couldnât afford the rent on her own.â
For a long moment, she stared at him in silence, her face a mixture of shock, followed by understanding. She took a deep breath.
 âOkay,â she muttered. âI understand her, I just⌠I donât understand why she didnât tell me this herself.â
Their relationship still remained deeply complicated, put to the test by guilt. Spencer couldnât say much about it. It was something between the two of them, and he hardly knew Jude at all.
 âIâm also sorry for asking you this so late,â he continued after a moment. âBut⌠you canât live alone, you know that. Someone⌠someone needs to be with you over the next few weeks and⌠Iâm willing to be that person.â
Her lips remained slightly parted for a moment.
âYou want⌠no, wait, you want me to move in with you?â It was clearly a rhetorical question, because before he could answer, she started shaking her head. âSpencer, I canât. I canât be that burden for you.â
âA burden? Youâre notâŚâ
âBut I will be. In the next few weeks, I definitely will be.â
He took his hands off the steering wheel, placing them loosely on his knees.
âCan you⌠can you look at me for a moment?â he asked.
It took a moment before she hesitantly met his gaze. Her eyes were filled with embarrassed tears, tears full of unjust shame. Seeing this, pain spread through his chest.
âIf the accident hadnât happened, would you want to live with me?â
 Her lips remained pressed together, and she sighed.
 âItâs a big decision. Aside from the fact that if it werenât for the accident, I wouldnât even have to consider this optionâŚâ
âI just want to know if you would want to. Don��t think of it as an option, just as⌠a completely normal, life decision. Do you think youâd be able to handle having me around every day?â
She couldnât help it, and her lips curled into a slight smile.
âWe could try,â she finally replied.
Spencer straightened his arms.
âIn that case, letâs go inside.â
 âNo, wait, itâs not that simple! My opinion shouldnât matter; itâs you who needs to think about whether you want thisâŚâ
 âI do.â
She snorted, resigned, not knowing what else to say.
âI canât even tie my own shoes,â she tried one last time.
âIâll gladly do it for you. Whatâs more, I know all kinds of knots. Simple, sailorâs, ChineseâŚâ
âSpencer Reid, youâre impossible.â
For the rest of the day, she tried every possible way to talk him out of his decision. But when she finally accepted it, she struggled to accept his help with tasks she couldnât do on her own.
 It wasnât until later that he realized how much she had been pretending in the hospital. He had only seen her for a fraction of her day, and she seemed so positive then. But this temporary disability had really taken a toll on her mentally. He could repeat and assure her, completely sincerely, that she wasnât a burden to him, but deep down, she still believed otherwise.
So, when two days later, she timidly appeared in the bedroom doorway with the question of whether he could help her wash her hair, Spencer felt like he had won the lottery.
âSure,â he agreed, probably a bit too enthusiastically, jumping to his feet so quickly that he almost tripped.
She pretended not to notice.
In the bathroom, he slowly helped her pull the shirt over her head, careful not to catch it on the collar still around her neck or accidentally cause her any pain.Â
âBe careful not to tilt your head too much, okay?â he asked, wetting her hair with the showerhead. She closed her eyes when a few drops of water splashed onto them. âSorry!â
âFor god's sake, Spencer, you're doing it more carefully than I would have done myself.â
It was true; he was acting as if he were performing some task at work that required absolute precision. He shrugged, massaging the strawberry shampoo into her hair. Foam quickly appeared, smelling sweet.
Suddenly, her hands tightened around the front of his shirt.
âSorry,â she whispered, loosening her grip. âI got a little dizzy.â
Spencer immediately pressed his hands, still covered in shampoo, to her waist, afraid she might fall. He stared at her face for a long moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass.
And just then, her body suddenly went limp, falling forward.
Terrified, he let out a strangled cry.
âHold on, please, donât fall!â he kept repeating, doing everything he could to keep her upright.
Her hands hung limply on his shoulders, the foam and water soaking into his shirt, but he didnât care at all.
âIâm right here, hold on to me as much as you can. C-c-can you hear me at all?â
He wondered whether it would be better to stand her up or lay her down while he could get to the phone and call an ambulance, when suddenly her weak touch grew stronger, and she let out a soft groan.
âSorry.â
âDonât you dare apologizing. Iâm still holding you, can you hear me?â
His heart was pounding incredibly fast as she gently pulled her head away from his chest. He, of course, didnât let her stand on her own, constantly supporting her body, protecting her from a fall that could be disastrous.
Together, they left the shower cabin, her hair still covered in foam.
âAre you aware that this is how itâs going to look now?â she asked seriously.
Completely unfazed, he wiped the foam from her forehead, which was dangerously close to her eyes.
âIâd rather have you lose consciousness in my bathroom, right next to me, than risk⌠I donât know, cracking your head open.â
For a moment, she was silent, the color beginning to return to her pale face, her gaze becoming more alert. He had a strange feeling that she was about to start crying, and since he really didnât want that, he pulled her close again, in his usual protective gesture. Everything around them smelled of strawberries.
âDo you really have to be this good?â
Spencer snorted.
âIâm afraid itâs just my curse.â
*
âAre these people really arguing about whether a cucumber is a fruit or a vegetable?â
Sitting on the couch, you jumped when a voice spoke right behind you. At the last second, you caught your laptop before it slipped off your lap. You had been reading some absurd discussion on an online forum you stumbled upon completely by accident. And yes, these users were indeed arguing about whether a cucumber is a fruit or a vegetable.
âDamn it, Spencer!â you shouted, putting your hand over your heart, which was pounding in an agitated rhythm. You looked at your boyfriend with a scowl. âYou almost gave me a heart attack. How is it possible I didnât hear you come in?â
He shrugged. Leaning his elbows on the back of the couch, the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt revealed the skin of his forearms. In that position, he had a perfect view of the screen on your laptop. He had just returned from work, a rainy July evening, his hair slightly damp.
âI wasnât sneaking around. You mustâve just been lost in thought. Want to tell me whatâs occupying that beautiful mind of yours?â He leaned in to place a kiss on your temple.
âBeautiful mind, huh?â you repeated, raising an eyebrow. âJust a few days ago, you told me that if a 19th-century priest heard even one thought from my head, heâd go into anaphylactic shock. Whatever that was supposed to mean.â
"In a big simplification, what I meant is that even though I love you, sometimes your way of thinking scares me."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"By the way, I bought land for Alexander."
Alexander was your new flycatcher, which had grown so much that it completely prevented the other flowers on the windowsill from growing. Due to its conqueror tendencies, you decided to name it after one of them.
"Do you want to repot it into a new pot now...?"
"No. Now you need to come to me."
You set the laptop aside and waited for him to take a seat on the couch. Before fully snuggling into him, you untied and removed the tie from his neck, then unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, just the way you liked.
You sighed almost instantly; his body was more comfortable than a pillow. Warm, with your favorite scent. You rested your head on his chest as his fingers gently combed through your hair.
In the first few weeks after you were discharged from the hospital, you couldnât even sleep in the same bed. There was a risk that, in his sleep, he might accidentally bump into your neck and cause damage. Spencer enforced that rule strictly, as he did with every precaution related to your health.
Six months had passed since the accident, and for the past four months, you hadnât worn a neck brace or needed help with daily tasks. But that didnât change the fact that, sometimes, when you showered together, he would wash your hair just like he used to. Anyway, you were still attending rehabilitation and would need to for a long time, but despite that, you felt like you had fully returned to normal life.
You lifted yourself slightly to look at his face.
"I was walking to the bar today," you began.
Youâd been considering going back to work for a while now, and the doctors had assured you there was no reason you couldnât. You wanted something to occupy your hands and craved the sense of purpose that came with a task. Youâd mentioned it to Spencer long ago, so he didnât seem surprised when you brought it up.
"And? Will they take you back?"
"No. I mean, itâs not that they donât want to, I just didnât get there. Thatâs why I said I was walking and not that I went to a bar. Are you following?"
"I'm trying."
"So, listen to this. I took the subway and got off at that station near the room I used to rent."
The landlord had asked for the keys back shortly after your accident. Your arrangement had been that, in exchange for using the space, you cleaned it daily. Of course, you hadnât been able to keep up with that anymore.
"...And I don't know, I was overwhelmed by this strange feeling, like I wanted to go back to it. Helping people."
"You help people all the time," Spencer reminded you. "All our neighbors come to you to vent about everything happening in their lives."
"That's true, but I mean, you know, professional help," you said, taking a deeper breath. You couldn't decide whether you were more excited or nervous about the decision. "I've been thinking about going back to uni, Spencer."
He straightened up, almost causing you to slide off his chest. Filled with tension, you watched his reaction closely. Youâd spent the entire day wondering what he might say. Would he share your enthusiasm and support your plans, or would he try to talk you out of it, reasoning that youâd dropped out of school once and might not manage it again?
These thoughts were incredibly silly. Spencerâknowledge-obsessed, ever-curious Spencerâwould never say something like that.
Instead, he pulled you into a tight embrace, whispering how incredible the idea was. You melted into it completely, feeling more elated than ever and unable to stop thinking about the crazy chain of cause and effect that had led to this specific moment, this particular relationship, and above all, this exact happiness.Â
do you accept this overly sweet ending as my apology? :> tagging: @nightfullofparadox @lillaberry @fortheloveofgubler @opheliahotchner @cowboy1ikereid @penelopegarciaismygf
sorry if i forgot about someone!
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x oc#criminal mind#derek morgan#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#dr reid
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scandal (l.c)
pairing: idol!reader x idol!chan
preview: you got into a dating scandal with another idol and chan is not happy. it should've been him, he's your actual boyfriend after all.
tags/warnings: fem reader, mentions of beomgyu and other idols, possessive chan, kisses galore, pet names (pretty, baby, my love, angel), oral (fem.receiving), holding hands while fucking, so much praise, monster cock chan, marking, did i say possessive?, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie
trigger warnings: n/a
wc: 1.8k
song rec for this fic: obsession by exo
a/n: i tried making fake tweets + texts for this how did i do? also i just threw in random female idols to make a fake group lol
you sigh, putting your phone down and rubbing your temples. dating as an idol is so tiring and sometimes you honestly forget why you even try. but you love your boyfriend so much. beomgyu is your good friend and sometimes you fail to remember to be sneaky when hanging out. even small things like going out to eat together makes fans assume youâre madly in love. this isnât the first time youâve been roped into media with beomgyu and youâre certain it wonât be the last.Â
with your swift rise to fame, youâve had many dating scandals in your time. what pisses chan off the most is the fact that itâs never been him that youâve had a scandal with. youâve gone out on many public dates before and no one has ever picked up on the fact that youâre together. he even kissed you in the view of a sasaeng one time and they didnât notice. he wonders if itâs intentional on the mediaâs part or if theyâre seriously just that oblivious.Â
you run your hand through your hair, trying to fathom why the general public knowing about your relationship is so important to him. everyone within the industry knows so why does everyone else have to? relationships can ruin idol reputations and he doesnât seem to care. maybe itâs because youâre both already so big that heâs not worried? or heâs hoping your fans are just accepting enough to be okay with it?Â
your members come wandering into the living room and youâre quick to compose yourself. you donât want them to know youâre having relationship problems again. âyou okay, y/n?â minji asks you, concern spreading on her face. you nod and smile to the best of your abilities. âhmm, i donât believe you but we have schedules so iâm not gonna push,â karina shakes her head before gesturing for you to follow the group out the door. you gather your things and do your best not to think about anything but the late night ahead of you.Â
___________________________________________
after a late night at dance practice you finally get the time to check your phone. you know chan had a fansign today so you decide to check on some of his fan accounts. you smile as youâre met with cute photos of him posing with gifts from fans. you find lots of updates on things he said as well. his current favorite movies, foods, tv shows and⌠songs. of course he mentions you. itâs cute that he listens to your music and likes to promote you to fans.Â
you jump as you realize sana is perched over your shoulder, reading your text messages. âheâs gonna get in trouble when people realize he keeps talking about you,â she comments, clicking her tongue. you sigh dramatically, slouching your shoulders. âthatâs what he wants.â suddenly all your members are gathered around you, confused as to what youâre talking about. âi got into another scandal with beomgyu and chan is jealous that itâs not him. so heâs putting in extra effort to try and get people to assume things.â your members share a weird look between them before turning back to you. âi think you should go on the most public date ever and make sure everyone knows youâre with lee chan of seventeen,â lily smiles brightly at you. this comment shocks you a little but you agree.Â
âwill you guys help me set up a giant celebration at the restaurant under our dorm?â you ask and they all agree excitedly. you all rush to get back to your dorm, eager to plan an extravagant dinner for you and your boyfriend. you talk to the owners of the restaurant and they agree to vacate the restaurant for you. they even promise to make food on the house. your girls help you pick the perfect outfit, hair and makeup for the event. they even âaccidentallyâ tell a well known media outlet that you have plans for tomorrow and they should be there.Â
___________________________________________
you sit in eager anticipation waiting for your boyfriend to show up. you can see a photographer out of the corner of your eye, waiting for something to happen. you hear the backdoor open and chan walks in, confidence filling his every step. your eyes fall on the suit he chose for tonight. he left his blazer undone, showing off that the buttons resting on his chest were begging to burst open.Â
âhello, my love,â he says as he pecks your cheek before sitting down across from you. âwhatâs the occasion for such a fancy dinner?â his face changes to panic for a moment before he speaks again; âdid i miss our anniversary? your birthday?â you shake your head and chuckle just as a waitress comes scurrying out of the kitchen with pre prepared food. you thank her and shoot her a quick wink before turning back to your lover. chan looks at you with an unreadable expression, but you hope itâs positive.
the two of you eat your food happily, the atmosphere feeling very comfortable. your share anecdotes from your lives as idols, laughing that the ridiculousness of your respective companies. before long, your meal is coming to an end. chan gives you a look you know all too well and youâre quick to scurry away, up the stairs and to your dorm. your boyfriend follows swiftly behind you after thanking all the staff.Â
you thank your members mentally as you enter your normally occupied dorm. as soon as the door is closed, chanâs hands are on you. he drags you by your hips, crashing you against him. he kisses you with such aggression that you would think he was trying to eat you. your tongues tangle like snakes, drool spilling from the corner of your mouth. âfuck, baby. youâre so sexy, you know that?â he connects his lips to your jawline, sucking on your skin gently. he sucks dark red marks on your collar bones, taking a moment to lean back and admire his work.Â
âjump,â he mutters as he hooks his hands under your thighs. you hop and he catches you before quickly scurrying towards your room. he lays you down on your bed, pressing your legs wide open. he groans as he realizes you arenât wearing any panties. you bite your lip as he admires you. âstop fucking me with your eyes and fuck me for real,â you demand. chan drops to his knees in front of you, desperation filling his eyes. you lift yourself onto your elbows so you can see him better. he kisses his way up your thighs before meeting his lips with your drenched core.Â
his skilled tongue darts out to circle your clit, small whines escaping from your throat. he grips your thighs, holding you exactly where he wants you. he slurps and drinks you up as you twitch and squirm under him. he focuses his attention on your sensitive clit, rubbing his tongue back and forth over it. âchannie, please please ple-ah,â he silences you with a harsh smack to your inner thigh. âlet me enjoy your cunt. god, i love that youâre mine,â he presses kisses against your slit, licking a fat stripe up it to follow. âfucking mine.â
he grazes his teeth over your clit, drinking in the way you squeak and raise your hips towards his mouth. your hands fly to his hair and drag his mouth back to you. he chuckles before he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it before letting it go with a small âpop.â you grind your core against his face, his nose brushing your clit as you get more and more desperate for release. âyou have the most perfect pussy, baby. could eat you forever.â
a low moan slips from his lips as he watches you clench around nothing at his words. he places one final kiss to your core before rising off his knees. âyouâre so tasty, angel. but i think i might explode if i donât get inside you.â he reaches down to undo his pants and let them pool around his ankles. he aligns himself with your desperate hole before pressing in gently. âmy pretty, pretty girl.â he grabs your hands and intertwines all ten of your fingers with his. a gesture like this always felt so romantic to you.Â
he arms flex in reaction as you clench around him in an eager effort to get him to move. he draws his hips back slowly before returning himself to the hilt. your eyes cross and your back arches off the bed as he repeats this ritual over and over before he canât take the slow pace anymore. he tightens his grip on your hands as he speeds up, the sounds of skin slapping filling the room. he stares between the two of you, watching as he disappears and reappears between your legs.âfuck, baby. youâre all mine. i donât care what the media says. iâm the one fucking you. not beomgyu, me.â you nod your head, panting like a dog in the summer heat. âsay it. who does this pussy belong to?â he thrusts into you faster, as if to make it harder for you to answer. ây-you, chan. fuck, itâs all yours.â
he lets go of your hands and opts to wrap his arms around your waist, pressing his face into your chest. he ruts into you with such vigor you think you might snap in half. he lifts you partially off the bed so youâre kind of sitting in his lap. your grind down on him, desperate for more. âchannie⌠god, need it so bad,â you plead, your orgasm threatening to rip its way out of you. he runs his tongue between the valley of your breasts before pulling back to look at your face.
âkeep eye contact with me while you finish. let me see how fucking good i make you feel.â you nod, digging your teeth into your bottom lip as he connects the pad of his thumb to your clit. you let out a deep sigh and fight your hardest not to throw your head back. the way chan looks at you through his sweaty bangs has you seeing stars. âcumming. oh my god iâm cumming,â you cry out as your whole body spasms. âyeah, thatâs it baby. squeeze my cock like that.â your arms give out and you fall back onto the bed, gripping the sheets until your knuckles turn white.Â
your loverâs orgasm is quick to follow, ropes of cum painting your walls white. he moans and whines out your name like a hymn, gripping your waist so hard you might bruise. you twitch as he rides out the last of his high before stilling completely. he pulls out of you slowly before laying next to you. he pulls you tightly against him, panting slightly as he settles. âi promise i donât care what the media says. i love you."
___________________________________________
Š lomlhwa 2024
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hi sirinn đ
itâs been a rough week. was wonderingâ if i could request some soft simon? maybe helping his so through a tough time?
love you bunches, hope youâre taking care of yourself!
i feel like this week has been rough for a lot of people. i hope you're resting, staying hydrated, and just taking care of yourself dear. i believe in you and so does simon of course âĄ
you seemed to always hold a level head. it was rare for simon to see you falter, if at all. there was always a smile spread wide across your face, the apples of your cheeks pink, a sparkle in your eyes. your laughs would echo throughout your shared home whether it be from something simon had said, or something that you saw on the telly.
but today was not one of those days.
there was no sparkle in those eyes of yours, replaced with a tiredness that left dark bags under your eyes. you were slow moving when waking that morning, not putting much effort into your hair, and grabbing the first thing you found in your closet. your outfit was mismatched with khaki pants and a weird yellow blouse that simon had never seen you wear outside of the house.
your lips sat in a thin line, unmoving as you silently floated about your home like a phantom. there was no noise even as you packed your lunch for the day; not a peep as you slipped your shoes on and stepped out of the house.
and the second you left, simon got to work.
he knew you too well to know that you were just "fine", a word he had expected you to say if he had even dared approach you about the topic. he saw it in the way you slid along the house, slower than a snail as you got ready for work. he saw it in the dull look in your eyes, far too tired to even look up at him and whisper a simple "good morning".
it was late when you returned home. a later night than normal.
stepping inside of your home, you slipped off your shoes, placing them by the front door with a sigh, peeling away your armor piece by piece as you walked towards the living room.
you were met with the sight of a vase of flowers sitting front and center on the coffee table. white lilies to be exact. the smell of detergent hit your nostrils, and you noticed how clean the couch cushions looked from where you stood. the pillows were fluffed and placed in their respected corners.
the wood floors shined from being swept and mopped, reflecting the soft glow of the overhead light. the tv played one of your favorite shows that you always turned on when you wanted some background noise or needed comfort. the bookshelves beside the entertainment center had clearly been dusted, yours and simon's books organized in alphabetical order. just how you liked them.
the subtle scent of garlic hit your senses after a moment, the smell and a voice breaking you from your thoughts.
"welcome home, love."
your widened eyes darted up to meet simon's pools of amber. the corner of his lips were upturned in a slight smile, one meant only for you.
"hungry?"
your mouth opened and closed as you tried to speak, but nothing came out.
truthfully, you were shocked. simon did do chores around the house. he was fairly organized, clean, a simple man who didn't own too much. he always kept his space tidy. but sometimes things got out of hand, and lately it had been hard for you to keep up with the mess. your workload had been tripled. you had personal issues going on in your life that were difficult to discuss, even to simon.
over the course of a few weeks, you felt like you had been backed into a corner. alone and afraid. it seemed like the world had caved in around you, dragging you into a dark abyss that you felt stuck in.
yet despite that darkness there was a light that shined through, and he stood right in front of you, flour dusting his pale cheeks and an apron much too small for him wrapped around his waist.
your lips quivered. your eyes watered so quickly you couldn't hold back the tears that broke through the dam you had built over time.
but before the tears could break through, simon was at your side, wrapping you in the warmth of his body.
you were stubborn. you were independent, believing you could handle anything that came at you alone. however, right now you had to admit to yourself that you did need a shoulder to lean on. even for just a moment. so you leaned into simon's sturdy chest, letting your tears fall freely after all the time you had kept them bottled up.
"shh, love. don't worry. i'm 'ere."
he wiped at your tears. his warm hands glided along the crown of your head, flattening out the strands of hair that had grown messy throughout the day. you were sure you looked a fright, but simon seemed to care less.
"'m sorry," you hiccupped, tears staining his t-shirt.
"the hell ya sorry for, angel?"
"i-i-i shouldn't be crying o-o-over something so stâ"
"'nough of that, yeah?" his gruff voice cut you off, but there was no maliciousness behind it. he loosened his grip on you, looking down into your teary eyes with an expression you had never seen from him.
"sometimes we 'ave bad days. everyone. myself included. we can't act strong all the time. s'alright ta need a shoulder ta lean on. ya don't need ta handle this alone. ya always there for everyone. always takin' the punches for everyone else. now let someone else take those punches, hm?
you felt your bottom lip wobble again, and when you didn't say anything simon hummed, his head tilting closer towards you.
"s'alright to cry. doesn't make ya weak. only proves that ya human. so let out those tears, dove. i'll hold ya until there's not a single drop left."
#so glad this was a req because i also needed this lmao#mental illness can go fuck itself#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod#call of duty mwii#call of duty warzone#simon riley x reader#cod ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x gn reader#simon ghost riley x gn reader#ghost x gn reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#cod mw ghost#cod x reader#cod x you#cod mw#cod modern warfare#ghost call of duty#call of duty modern warfare 3#anon request#anonymous#requests open
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WWDITS S6 - What we thought we knew vs. what we know now
Iâve been struggling to string some words together about this season thus far. I think, with the exception the episode where Laszlo was forced to relive the abuse of his father, every episode has been wonderful. But two episodes I keep rewatching â Nandorâs Army and March Madness. Because in those two episodes, much was revealed about all these characters. Weâre learning that these vampires care, about each other and other things, too. But this season, Nandor has especially been laid bare. No subtext, no wordplay, no wink and a nod.
Hey, Nandor? All those feelings you hide so poorly and hate so much? Too bad, buddy, they are coming out and they are gushing all over the place, like a recklessly pierced vein. Better get a towel because itâs gonna be fucking messy.
The first big thing weâve learned in Nandorâs Army is how devastated Nandor was about losing the janitor job. So much so that the poor guy went a little mad. For over 700 years, Nandor has survived enumerable hardships and setbacks but Guillermo rejecting him is the thing that ruins him.Â
Nandor only took the job at Cannon Capital to be close to Guillermo, to watch over him as he had been doing for 15 years. And that was the second thing we learned about Nandor. He perceived that he had been protecting Guillermo. âRaising himâ were his exact words. And once Guillermo decided against being a vampire and separated himself from the vampire world, Nandor felt abandoned. He lost his purpose and in doing so, he lost his mind.
The confrontation between Nandor and Guillermo in the husk of the Hancock and Sons factory was the most honest theyâve ever had. Usually, itâs Guillermo who makes himself vulnerable and Nandor who pretends like he doesnât care. That night, though, their pent up feelings came spilling out, from both sides. That night, Nandor caved but stay tuned because I donât think that argument is done yet.
Because, then, in March Madness, the truth bombshell dropped. The foundation of and the motivation for the dumb, sometimes cruel shit Nandor has done is finally revealed.
Nandor knows heâs going to lose Guillermo. He is painfully aware of it. For most of their time together, Guillermo believed that all he wanted was to be a vampire. It was his dream from childhood, as Nandor heard umpteen times. But when it finally happened, in the fucked up manner which no one saw coming, Nandor was gutted by the betrayal. But still, he was willing to turn backflips to make sure Guillermo got what he wanted.
But once he did, once Guillermo chose to go back to being a human, Nandorâs future with Guillermo â or what he thought was their future â was gone.
Nandor was always careful about putting the affection he has for Guillermo on display. He kept that under wraps and rarely allowed himself to let it show. He ignored the tenderness he has for Guillermo and judging from solely from his behavior, it seemed like Nandor was just a big, selfish jerk.
But surprise, surprise, it turns out that Nandor is not so much a deeply delusional asshole as he is a secret soft-hearted sap in self-protect mode. Because Nandor knows Guillermo is human and Nandor knows that humans get hurt and eventually die. In 760 years as a vampire, this is what he knows. He tells Laszlo thereâs nothing special about humans. They will leave so a vampire is a fool to get attached to them.
Oh, really? Well, sorry, Mr. Supreme Viceroy/Warlord, youâre too late. That train has already left the station. we know thatâs bullshit because whenever Guillermo leaves him, Nandor is totally lost. Through the Djinn and Marwa, we know that Nandor doesnât know what he would do without Guillermo.
You can run. You can run far because you have those awesome long legs but you canât hide anymore, big guy. The truth is out. The die is cast.
Nandor. Youâre a dead man.
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Still The One
Note - just as a little thank you for being so kind I thought Iâd post something Iâve written lately. Iâll be back in a few days when my heads on straight but i hope youâre all well 𩷠and I miss you guys and my masey
Pairing - Mason Mount Ă Reader
Word count - 1.5k
Warnings - fluff
âSorry guysâ you heard from behind you. The hand that was being placed on your waist squeezing you ever so softly as their hot breath tickled your neck but you knew that voice instantly and you couldnât help but smile. âCould I borrow my wife please?â
The chorus of awwwâs from your little group of friends that you were standing with made you blush but you didnât care. Melting back into Mason's body behind you as he wrapped his arms further around your waist and kissed your shoulder. His skin was hot from embarrassment as his cheek touched your neck and you thought it was the cutest thing ever.
It was the first time heâd referred to you as his wife to other people. The sound making your skin tingle as you couldnât contain you giggles and you just felt yourself radiating joy as your friends mirrored your smile.
âGo on then, y/n. Your husband needs youâ your best friend laughed. Her sending you a wink as he pulled back so you could take his hand and when you turned to face him you felt your heart explode in your chest.
You couldnât believe he was officially all yours.
This whole day had gone by in a flash, time only stopping when you caught eyes with him as he looked back at you tearily down the aisle and it finally hit you that you were actually doing this. Finally marrying the boy of your dreams and cementing the rest of your lives together.
âWhatâs up?â You asked as you followed him. Trying your best you wade through in your huge dress as Mason did his best not to step on it.
âIt's first dance time, are you ready?â He asked. Brows wiggling cheekily at you and you were beginning to wonder if he had something up his sleeve.
âWhat do you mean? We just sway from side to side right?â
âNah, Iâve been working on my movesâ he winked. âJust follow my lead yeah?â
âOh Mase, I donât like the sound of thatâ you laughed, but there was no time to argue. Mason giving the DJ a wave as he led you to the centre of the dance floor and you noticed people had started to gather in a circle around the perimeter. The nerves suddenly hit you that everyone would be looking at you but one look at Mason's kind face let you know everything would be fine.
âLadies and gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Mountâ
When it came to picking the song for your first dance, there was only one option you could think of. The pair of you had never really had a song that was yours before and considering how long youâd been together for you figured you should have had one by now. That all changed around six months ago when you and Mason went on a date night with Rasmus and Laura to see Teddy Swims and Mason pulled you in extra close for one specific song.
Youâd heard the original so many times, but listening to the boy you loved murmur the lyrics softly into your ear was a moment that etched itself right into your brain and as you looked up him right now you felt those same feelings swarm you.
He was so handsome
His hair was styled just how you liked it, him asking you what your favourite look of his was a few weeks before today so he could have it just like that and your chest fluttered at the gesture. His eyes were warm and happy as they creased at the sides but it was your favourite smile in the whole wide world that your eyes were drawn to. The same one you were met with on your first date that made you fall for him in the first place, the same one you woke up to and went to sleep with every night and the same one that you saw when he told you I do a few hours prior.
You were so so in love with him you thought you might burst.
As the start of the song played, Mason took your hand and kissed the back of it causing the butterflies to surge in your tummy. You were so in awe of him itâs like you were floating and when he pulled you in closer by your waist you wrapped your arms around his neck. Letting him sway you ever so gently as his forehead rested on yours.
Looks like we made it, look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way, we knew we'd get there someday
Tears were springing in your eyes almost instantly, looking up into his eyes as you could tell his were a little watery too. His freckled nose pink as he blushed and you had to hold back from pulling him in for a kiss as everyone was watching and and you werenât sure if you could pull yourself away.
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together, still going strong
âI canât believe we finally did itâ he laughed quietly, trying to pull you in a bit closer but the puffy skirt of your dress made it difficult.
âSorry, this dress is bloody massiveâ you laughed. âIâll take it off soonâ
âOh yeahâ he winked and you laughed at the way he couldnât keep things serious ever.
âCheeky, I meant Iâll change into my evening dressâ
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
âHave you had a good day, Mrs Mount?â He asked, not getting tired of hearing that name come out of his mouth and his smile mirror yours as you grinned up at him happily.
âThe best dayâ you beamed. âI love you so muchâ
âI love you tooâ he whispered. Placing his forehead back on yours and shutting his eyes so he could feel the lyrics whilst you looked up at his perfect face.
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss goodnight
Even though today was all about the pair of you, youâd missed him. Since the ceremony youâd been pulled apart to try and speak to everyone that had joined you for your special day but you wanted to be around him more than anything. So you took this opportunity with both hands and held him close. Letting him whisper the words in your ear just had he had that night as he slowly moved you around the dance floor and forgot everyone else that was there. Feeling so full of love as you inhaled his scent and revelled in the feel of him. Knowing you just needed to get through the rest of your day and it would be just the two of you again.
âYou trust me right?â He whispered. His voice teasing and you didnât know why he was asking you that and when you pulled back to look at him his eyes were sparkling with joy.
âI just married you, I can hardly say no can I?
âRight answerâ he laughed, pulling away so he could spin you out to the side of him and you giggled as he pulled you back in so your neck was against his arm and he could dip you back. The whole room cheering as he lent down to kiss you but you couldnât kiss him back properly as you were laughing so it was just a mess of lips and teeth.
As soon as he pulled you back up and into his arms properly again you grabbed his face and kissed him. Not happy with the fact you hadnât kissed him the right way just now and even though everyone was being loud you blocked out the noise and focused on your man as he lifted you up by your waist and spun you around a few times.
âAre these those moves youâve been practising?â You giggled as he settled you back down. Going back to swaying you gently as the song was coming to an end but you wished it would have gone on forever. Knowing as soon as it was over youâd be torn away from him again until later on when you went to bed.
âNah, Iâve got a few more to show you laterâ he winked. Your face turning bright red at the cheeky remark and even though he was joking, in the back of your mind you were hoping there was a lick of truth to it. The pair of you smiling back at each other delight, feeling completely euphoric at the fact you were stood in the middle of a dance floor in the arms of the one you loved more than anything with the rest of your lives to navigate together.
Youâd made it. Made your way through the awkward talking stage, to your first date and then to your first kiss and everything that comes after. Through laughter and tears, fights and apologies and everything in between. Youâd done it together and you knew youâd never be alone again.
I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come, my baby
#Mason Mount#Mason Mount blurb#mason mount fanfic#mason mount one shot#mason mount imagine#mason mount fan fic#mason mount fluff#mason mount angst#Mason Mount smut#mason mount imagines#mason mount fan fiction#mason mount fic#mason mount x reader#mason mount x y/n#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer imagines#footballer imagine#footballer fan fiction
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hii! been obsessed with your writing lately. thank you for sharing with us!!
if it inspires you, i would love to see your interpretation of prompt 46 from the fluff prompt list ("you doodled hearts in my notebook again.") with university! chan.
always excited for your stories, take care!!
ah!! thank you for your kind words and thank you for requesting this!!! ugh university fics always gives me the butterflies đĽ˛
request your own: full prompt list!
check out my masterlist! // chan's m.list
fluff prompt #46: "you doodled hearts in my notebook again."
you had missed a lecture the day before, overwhelmed with assignments and life, and chan, being the helpful seatmate that he was, offered to lend you his notes. it wasnât the first time heâd done it, but this time felt a little different.
you werenât sure why, but when you took his notebook, you felt a little nervous, maybe because you'd always liked chan more than just a friend.
the next day, you returned the notebook, trying to act casual about it. âthanks again for letting me borrow it. i swear, iâll catch up on everything soon,â you said, handing him his notes with a small, apologetic smile.
chan took the notebook with a bright grin, always more than happy to help. âdonât worry about it. you can borrow it again if you need it.â
âyouâre too nice,â you said, giving him a teasing look.
âonly because youâre my favorite study buddy,â he joked, though the words slipped out a little more naturally than he intended.
later that night, chan found himself finally sitting down with the notebook after a long day, eager to check if you had caught up on the material. but when he opened it, he was caught off guard.
there, scattered across the pages, were little hearts doodled around his name.
he let out a breath, half-laughing in disbelief. again?
this wasnât the first time it had happened. months ago, when he had lent you his notebook for the first time, you had drawn hearts around his name, and he had been so embarrassed that he didnât even mention it to you. it seemed like a one-time thing. but now, here it was againâlittle hearts marking his name, just as sweet as before.
chanâs fingers traced over the doodles as his heart began to race. he tried to convince himself that it didnât mean anything. maybe you just liked drawing hearts. but deep down, he wonderedâwas this your way of telling him something?
the next day, chan sat next to you in class, unable to hide his small grin. you sat down next to him, but he was already focused on his notebook, pretending to take notes, though his mind was completely elsewhere.
you looked at him, wondering why he was being so quiet. finally, after a few moments, he spoke up, his voice light but teasing.
âyou doodled hearts in my notebook again,â chan said, his eyes playful as he watched you.
you blinked in confusion. âwhat? i did?â you stammered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
chan nodded, turning his notebook toward you, showing you the page where your hearts were still drawn around his name.
âyou did. and this isnât the first time either,â he added, his voice softer now, like he was trying to understand. âdidnât you do this before, a long time ago?â
your face flushed a bright shade of red. âiâI didnât even realize I did it,â you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. âitâs just... a habit.â
chanâs lips curled up into a soft smile as he watched your nervous reaction. âyou really donât realize it, huh?â he teased gently.
you sighed, trying to laugh it off. ânope, no idea. i just doodle stuff when iâm bored, you know?â
but chan wasnât buying it. he leaned in a little closer, his eyes glinting with curiosity. âare you trying to tell me something with all these hearts? or is it just a coincidence?â he asked, voice dropping slightly.
your heart raced, and you nervously fiddled with the hem of your shirt, avoiding his gaze. âwhat do you mean?â you asked, feigning ignorance even though you could feel your face getting hotter by the second.
chan raised an eyebrow, his playful smile growing. âare you trying to tell me something? like⌠maybe you have a crush on me?â he asked, his voice light and teasing, though there was an edge of curiosity behind it.
your mouth opened and closed as if you were searching for the right words, but nothing came out. the teasing in his tone made you even more flustered, and you struggled to think of something to say.
you managed to mumble, suddenly feeling way too exposed, âitâs just⌠hearts, right? i always doodle hearts. no big deal.â
chan couldnât hold back the laugh that bubbled up inside him. âright, just hearts. everywhere. around my name,â he repeated, his voice a little more teasing this time.
you huffed, clearly embarrassed. âokay, okay! maybe i got carried away,â you admitted, now trying to hide behind your notebook. âitâs just something i do when iâm bored. no hidden meanings, promise.â
chanâs grin softened, and he looked at you with a more genuine curiosity. âare you sure?â he pressed, his voice lowering slightly. âbecause, you know, you can tell me anything.â
you bit your lip, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. âitâs really nothing,â you whispered, but you werenât sure if you believed that anymore.
chan studied your face for a moment, his smile softening into something more tender. âwell, if thereâs something you want to tell me... iâm all ears,â he said, his tone sincere.
you didnât know what to say to that, so instead, you just sat there, lost in his eyes for a moment longer than you should have. but chan could see it all, the way you were looking at him, it was the same fondness he had in his eyes when he looks at you. he wonders if you can see the fondness in his eyes.
âwell,â chan said softly, his smile still there but with a little more sincerity, âmaybe iâll just take it as a sign that you like me too.â
your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened,"too"?
chan watches as the pieces of puzzles slowly click in your head before you let out a small smile
âyou think so?â
chan nodded, his voice playful yet serious. âi think itâs pretty obvious.â
and for the first time, you smiled at him without hiding. maybe there was something more to the doodles after all.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#svt#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen x reader#fanfic#dino seventeen#seventeen dino#dino x reader#dino fluff#dino imagines#dino fanfic#lee chan imagine#lee chan fluff#dino x you#lee chan fanfic#lee chan seventeen#seventeen lee chan#lee chan x you#lee chan x reader#lee chan#chan seventeen#seventeen chan#daisymbin: reqs
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Can you do reader that has SH scars or Them finding out that reader SH's
With Sol & Hyugo..!
But it's ok if you don't do it since its a sensitive topic!
tw: sensitive topics, self harm
a/n: can't decide which format i want to use for these kind of requests. thank you for the request <3
important note: if you're struggling with sh, please tell someone you trust or seek help. i do not know you, but i know that you are not alone in this. i hope things get better for everyone who's reading this:)
SOL:
Reader still does sh:
Oh, he's worried. Extremely worried. How could he not notice all this time? How could he not notice his darling was in pain? He feels horrible. Whether he discovers it accidentally or not, rest assured he won't pressure you into anything. He'll listen to your story and problems when you're comfortable and ready. He'll pull you into a hug while holding back tears. He's been through some shit and he knows how it feels. But he never wants to see it happen to you. If you're doing this because of someone, Sol will make sure they're taken care of. You don't have to worry <3 If it's because of something else and more personal, it's okay. He'll be with you till the end of time. From now on, he makes it his mission to watch over you more closely whenever he can, no matter how unethical. He's more subtle this time, though. He doesn't need you stressing even more.
He's still worried. And also a little upset. That was from a long time, wasn't it? You didn't know him back then. He wonders if he could've comforted you out of it, held you in his arms while you weeped. If only he could turn back time... Alas, there's other things to worry about. He's glad to hear that you're recovering, and you promised to never do it again. He'll help you on your journey. Sol isn't the most mentally stable himself, so I don't think he'll be much help either lol but for you? He's searching and making lists of healthy coping mechanisms he can give you. Thinks your scars are beautiful. He hated how it was made, but now it has faded and all that remains is the symbol of your strength and the fact you've made it this far despite being in an extremely tough situation. He'll kiss you on the forehead and tell you how proud he is. How happy he is.
Reader has sh scars (recovering):
HYUGO:
Reader still does sh:
He's very mysterious. I find it hard to write for him. Hyugo feels a mix of emotions wash over him when he discovers it. Shock, sadness and anger. Shocked, because like Sol, he couldn't believe he didn't notice anything until now. Sadness, because he couldn't imagine the pain you went through to resort to such thing. Anger, at himself and anyone or anything that caused you pain. He knows he can't use jokes or happy things to lighten up the mood like he usually does. Instead, he gently guides you to his arms and wraps you in a warm embrace. He'll whisper comforting words while you tell him things that have bothered you and asked you to promise him you'll never hurt yourself again and in return, he'll help you heal. You're hesitant. You didn't want to feel indebted to him, but he insisted. His determination made you embarrassed so you agreed. Since then, he's been extra caring (but not overbearing) to you and made sure to check in on you every chance he gets. If somehow he doesn't get to see you for the entire day, he'll call you in the middle of the night to ask about your day and it ends up being a long session of late night talks. Or he could just knock on your door and you'd let him in anyway. He knows he can't entirely prevent bad things from happening, but he can help lessen it for you. He'll be your sunshine, where you'll never feel miserable again under his bright smile. Of course, you do the same for him. You help each other out in your own ways eventually
Reader has sh scars (recovering):
When he first saw it, he didn't overreact or give a strong reaction. He smiles softly and grabs your hand, praising you for getting through your problems and even start to recover. It's something not many people are strong enough to do especially in your situation, but you did. And he makes sure to emphasize that. You guys end up sharing each other's experiences and stories (mostly you, he's still secretive and doesn't want to reveal anything bad) and find things you two relate to. He's overall a chill guy to have around. He won't make a big deal out of it if you don't and it's honestly really comforting. You don't notice it but he's secretly a little more cautious and gentle with you. He makes sure nothing hurts you again.
#its 2am again and im writing this knowing i have a busy schedule tomorrow#man do i love procrastinating#i hope this wasn't too weird or sensitive for anyone#i only based this from my personal experience and what I would've wanted to happen if i had someone with me#if there's anything i could improve pls tell me<3#the kid at the back vn#visual novel#tkatb vn#tkatb x reader#male yandere#tkatb_vn#solivan brugmansia#tkatb sol#tkatb hyugo#tkatb hyugo x reader#tkatb sol x reader#tkatb solivan x reader
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prologue- kiss it better (series)
warnings: implied smut (18+ only), mutual pining, sexual talk, cheating
disclaimer: i do not own people or teams mentioned in this story besides the original character(s). this is strictly for fictional purposes only.
a/n: did i get a little carried away with this? maybe. but did i enjoy writing it? absolutely
masterlist đŠ°
word count: 951
erika and joe first met in 2018 when he transferred over to louisiana state from ohio state to have more opportunities to play football. he sat next to her in a lecture during english class, showing up a bit late after struggling to find his classes. as the school year progressed, they had become good friends, being supportive and encouraging of one anotherâs goals and aspirations. they still remained friends after they graduated from college and moved to pursue their different career paths, but whenever they had time to see each other, it was as if time didnât exist. in 2022, a year into her relationship with nicholas, she felt like something was missing within it despite everything going great. she was in cincinnati, visiting joe and attending the bengals home game against the los angeles rams.Â
september 2022
erika and joe sat on his couch as they were watching the hangover after his win earlier that night as they were catching each other up on their lives. he looked over and asked her, âso, howâs it going with you and nick?â she shrugged, taking a swig from her beer before answering, âi donât know. itâs been okay, i guess.â he eyed her curiously, seeing the conflicted look on her face. âjust okay?â she sighed, unsure to describe how she feels about her relationship. âi mean, itâs going great; donât get me wrong. but i just feel like thereâs something missing." he chuckled softly, âwhat? is the sex bad?â the question made her look away, telling him everything he needed to know. âdamn.. that bad, huh?âÂ
erika rolled her eyes at what he said, not outright denying anything. âjoey.. itâs not funny.â joe shook his head; the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings. âi never said it was.â she sighed, âitâs not that itâs bad sex. itâs decent, but after, i just feel so.." she met his gaze; he listened intently as she tried to find the right words. he broke the brief silence, completing her sentence with one word that summed up what she was feeling: âunsatisfied.â she nodded, biting her bottom lip as a wave of guilt flowed through her. he scooted closer next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. his expression softened, pulling her close against his body. âiâm sorry, bunny. i didnât mean to make you feel upset or uncomfortable.â
she shook her head; her heart skipped a beat whenever he called her that since he gave her the nickname in college. âitâs okay; what you said didnât upset me. i feel so guilty for thinking that way, like iâm an awful person for viewing my own boyfriend in that kind of light.â he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. âhey, you arenât a bad person for having that opinion. itâs how you feel; donât downplay it. what makes you feel unsatisfied?â she gave him a small smile; he always knew how to make her feel better and at ease. she leaned into him more, resting her head against his shoulder. âlike after we have sex, he always asks if i came, and of course, i say yes. but i actually didnât.. or i question if i did or not.â
he feels her body warmth as she leaned against him, his heart beating out of his chest. âwell, usually if you have to question it, it means you didnât. maybe he just needs to get to know how your body works more, like what makes you tick, rather than focusing on just his own pleasure.â she let out a short laugh; she wasnât making fun of his response, but having something like that was out of her element. âyeah, iâve never experienced that.â he looked at her in curiosity once more, wondering what she was implying. âwhat do you mean?â she shrugged, a bit self-conscious and embarrassed when she answered his question. âiâve never had a guy make me cum before.â his eyes widened slightly in disbelief, not expecting that to be her answer. âoh shit. are you serious?â
she looked away, her face flushed with embarrassment that sheâs having this conversation with her best friend. âyeah, itâs pretty embarrassing.â he shrugged, and while he understood why she was embarrassed by it, he couldnât help but want to help her out. âi get it. but if iâm being honest, i donât find it embarrassing.â she met his gaze again, feeling a sense of relief. âyou donât? or are you saying that to make me feel better?â his hand moved down her body, giving her hip a gentle squeeze. âi really donât. in fact, your little confession makes me want to help you out.â her breath hitched in her throat when she felt his hand squeeze her hip, her hands falling into place on his chest. âyou want to help me? how?â
his hand moved up to her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. âwant me to show you?â she felt chills run down her spine after he asked, nodding wordlessly. he leaned in, closing his eyes and capturing her lips in a slow, exploratory kiss. immediately kissing him back, her fingers ran through his hair, parting her lips for him. he slipped his tongue into her mouth, as she let his tongue overpower hers. he guided her back onto the couch and parted her legs to feel more comfortable against her body, breaking the kiss. âis this okay?â she nodded, her hands trailing down his chest. âyes, joe.. iâve wanted you for so long.â he groaned at her confession, âfuck, bunny.. iâve wanted you too.â he kissed her again, but this time it was urgent and heated as erika allowed herself to get lost into the pleasure.
a/n: part 1 is still in the works! but i definitely had too much fun writing out this little introduction for yâall :)
#joe burrow#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fic#joe burrow imagine#cincinnati bengals#nfl fic#nfl imagine#Spotify#izzy writes đ
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Hello everyone! I am so excited to finally be able to add something to this AU again! I have a few other installments I have been mulling over for a while that will hopefully see the light of day at some point in the future, but for now, here is a little bit of pining Charles :) This is set some relatively short time after @qwanderer's sickfic and will make the most sense if you've already read that bit <3
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It is a bloody privilege, Charles thinks contentedly, to wake up on a weekend morning buried in a cocoon of blankets on Edwin Payneâs familiar sofa. Of course, Edwin is already awake by the time Charles blearily untangles himself and manages to get upright. The first thing he notices is that the flat smells incredible.
The second thingâ Oh, god. Heâs going to be late for farmerâs market. Mum is going to kill him. Especially if she finds out he overslept at Edwinâs and still hasnât even kissed him yet. âAre you making breakfast?â Charles mumbles through a yawn, making his way through the maze of camera equipment into the kitchen to find Edwin in the middle of a neat pivot away from the fridge with a carton of whipping cream in hand. âWaitâwhyâre you making breakfast? Isnât mum going to kill us? Sâmarket day, innit?â âI took the liberty of asking Aadhya if we could help at next Sundayâs farmerâs market, instead. She very graciously said yes.â Charles raises his eyebrows, impressed. âThatâs some excuse you mustâve had.â Edwin smiles, his cheeks dimpling, and Charles feels his heart do a slow, devoted flip in his chest at the sight of it. âNot at all. She simply agreed, and said she would find someone to cover for us. Your mother is really unduly kind to me, you know, Charles.â âSo⌠you⌠asked for time off? For both of us?â Charles grins, incredulous. âYou all right, mate? Not coming down with something again?â âI am fine, I assure you. It is justâŚâ Edwin coughs delicately. He stares down at the wire whisk he has just got out of the drawer. âWe have not had much time to spend together, lately, have we, what with the show, and ourâŚâ Charles could swear Edwinâs blushing, or are his eyes playing tricks? âMy very silly misunderstanding putting us at such unnecessary odds. I suppose I simply⌠missed you? And wanted to make it up.â He puts down the whisk, which he had started fidgeting with, and sets to the task of measuring cream out into a mixing bowl. Right, Charles thinks. Edwinâs misunderstanding. The one where heâd thought Charles had a blooming boyfriend, when everyone and his mother, everyone but Edwin, knows that Edwinâs the only one Charlesâs been able to think of in ages. He'd got all maudlin and sad-eyed about it, tooâbut that was the fever talking, Charles reminds himselfâand so relieved when Charles'd disproved the whole thing⌠Charles has to wonder⌠well. He has to wonder, doesn't he? Still wonders, sometimes, if heâs totally lost it. Still wonders, when itâs been a long evening, and several hours since his last text from Edwin, if Edwin is texting Monty instead. But then Edwin had him round for Monopoly and takeaway. Edwin trounced him soundly, and Charles laughed harder than he has in weeks. When he admitted defeat he considered upending the game board in a flurry of paper money, in a moment of really awful sportsmanship, but he'd shaken Edwinâs hand instead. Edwinâs grip was firm and sure and... Charles had let himself linger. God, he shouldn't have, but he had. The cool press of Edwinâs palm was heady and perfect, fizzed through Charlesâ blood and buoyed him for the rest of the night. They fell asleep tipped close together on the sofa, Edwinâs hair tickling Charlesâ chin, Charlesâ arm hooked about his shoulders in case Edwin had a nightmare like he does sometimes. And Charles woke up this morning to the smell of caramelized bananas and masala chai, and the ghost of Edwinâs cologne in his nose.
Edwin is making him breakfast, because he'd missed Charles too. Edwin missed him. And nothingâs changed between them, has it, nothing at all; except maybe Charles is even more in love with Edwin than before.
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*Edwin is making Charles Bananas Foster French toast with homemade whipped cream <3
3/? - Restaurant owner / chef Charles / Food critic Edwin AU - continued!
Hello, lovely folks - the restaurant AU continues and has outgrown its last thread, which is amazing! Here's a new reblog chain to reblog from and continue the journey <3 I'll also be updating the masterpost to add this one!
You can read the AU from the beginning here!
The masterpost for the AU is here!
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Joel Takes Your Virginity (yippee)
Havenât done this in a while, so please bear with me!! I also need more ideas for what to write LOL. Thinking about doing some Arthur Morgan stories?? Mayhaps?? I also do angst & fluff YIPPEEE
Pairing: Joel Miller (hbo) x fem!reader (use of she/her, feminine terms)
Word count: 4.3k Warnings & Content: Smut, 18+. Age gap (reader is 19, Joel in his 40s), fem!reader, oral - female receiving, praise, P-in-V unprotected, loss of virginity, slight awkwardness, established relationship, creampie, dom!Joel, marking, sleepy aftercare, veryvery smutty, set in Jackson.
Itâs already been a wonderful eleven months being with Joel. Sure, moving into his house before you two had even crossed a year together was a little bit risky, yet, it felt right; still feels right. Plus, you two had connected before youâd even gotten together, so it wasnât as if it happened completely out of the blue.
Everything was amazing - Joel was the best boyfriend you could ask for; sweet, gentle, yet protective and ready to defend you if it came down to it (and it has, many times). He was thoughtful, and never wanted you to do things yourself, even if it was as simple as making coffee in the mornings. The age gap may earn someâŚquestionable looks from a few randoms here in Jackson, but he never cared. Joel loved you loud, and he was damn proud of it.
On an intimacy level, however, you two hadnât gone past the casual late-night makeout sessions, the hickeys here and there, the occasional groping. But it never went past any of that. It began to frustrate you, even if it was your doing. You stopped things before they went past that line of intimacy, but it was only because you were scared. What if you werenât as good as the other girls heâs had? How many girls has he had, exactly? What if you canât please him the first time-
âThinkinâ hard over there?â Joelâs gruff voice interrupts your thoughts as his large hand comes out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His words ground you back into reality, and suddenly, youâre back on the couch with your boyfriend, watching some cheesy action film on a small TV. âStarinâ off into space like that, you alright?âÂ
Your gaze flickers over to Joel, noticing his hand gently squeezing your thigh in a reassuring manner. He seems to be worried, his brows furrowed, the slight wrinkles on his forehead deepening.
âOh, yeah, Iâm fine,â you quickly brush his worries aside. Your hand reaches out to grab his own, feeling the way his palm and fingers nearly dwarf yours in size. âJust thinking.â
âThinkinâ?â With a grunt, the Texan shifts closer to you, his free hand trailing down to your chin to tilt your head in his direction. God, the man was stunning. Even in his late forties, he looked so full of youth. His brown eyes, deep and intense, met yours, beckoning you to be honest.
A sense of uncertainty fills your brain. Itâs best to be honest, but you feel odd talking about it - intimacy was never your strong suit, even if itâs only because you were so inexperienced. So, you inhale a deep breath, your eyes fluttering slightly as you prepare to express yourself.Â
âI wannaâŚwell,â itâd be nice to turn your head and dodge his eye contact because you can already feel your cheeks heating up, but he keeps you in place. âI just think maybe we, uh, we take things..â Fuck, this was hard.
âI want to have sex. With you. Uhm, right. Yeah.â Jesus Christ, you kick yourself mentally, a palm slapping over your face in embarrassment. That was so awkward you might as well have just jumped his bones instead.
 You can see a wave of surprise rush over Joelâs features. His eyes widen slightly, lips parting to say something, yet he remains silent, only the sounds of his near-silent breaths filling the room. The hand on your thigh tightens just a bit.Â
He then clears his throat, âyou sure, pumpkin? Thatâs a big step. I donât want you to feel like you have to. We can go as slow as you w-â But you cut him off by leaning in just slightly. The air between you thickens with tension, and you can feel Joelâs body tensing with anticipation.Â
âIâm ready,â itâs all Joel needed to grab your hand, leading you up from the couch and towards your shared bedroom upstairs.
 ââââââ
It was a quick mess of clothes being discarded as soon as you two passed the threshold leading into the bedroom. Joelâs arms are tight around your waist, your own clinging to his shirt while your lips fight for dominance; a fight Joel quickly wins every. Single. Time.
Hot tongues slide and tangle against each other while your feet step towards the bed. Joelâs strong arms, marred with scars and scratches from all of his arduous years of surviving, guide you to lay back on the bed.Â
âJust lay back, sweetheart. I wanna make your first time somethinâ special, you hear me?â The older man murmurs whilst slowly crawling on top of you.
Your back sinks into the fluffy softness of the covers, eyes flitting up to meet Joelâs intense ones. His gaze is roving over your body, pupils widening at the sight of every inch; the swell of your breasts, your flared hips, those plush lips and beautiful eyes. He could spend countless hours just ranting about how amazing you are, how special you are to him.Â
How much he loves you.
His lips brush against the shell of your ear, breath warming the skin there whenever he talks. And the way his hand slides up to your stomach, tracing the contours, makes your insides clench. Though things were starting to get steamy, the nerves were starting to take over.
âHey, hey. Darlinâ, breathe,â You tried to keep it together as much as you could, but Joel could see the slight tremble in your body, the way you were unintentionally digging your nails into his shoulder. âAre you sure this is somethinâ you want?â
âYes. It- It is. I know itâŚit doesnât seem like it, but,â a shy laugh escapes your lips, and you loosen your grip. âBut I want this. Iâm serious, Joel.âÂ
At your words, the Texan nods firmly. His touch resumes on your stomach, fingertips trailing up and over your ribcage, feeling the ridges even through the skin. His touch is featherlight, calming even. And then his fingers brush against the bottom of your underwear, earning a gasp from your mouth.
âSomeoneâs eager..â He murmurs, shifting his hips nearly imperceptibly. But you could feel the hot bulge of his arousal pressed to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, the way it twitches through the thin fabric of his boxers.
âI could- could say the same about, uh, you,â It sounded a lot smoother in your head, but not so much when you stutter it out.
But he was right. The soft cotton panties that adorned your hips were damp in the crotch from your arousal, the slickness only growing with each touch, each loving caress from your older lover.
âRemember what I said, pumpkin. Breathe, in and out.â For someone soâŚintimidating, Joel can never help himself from babying you; especially in this moment of pure vulnerability for you, for your relationship.
Taking his advice, you suck in a deep breath, letting the oxygen sit in your lungs for a few seconds before you exhale just as slowly. The nerves are still there, but theyâre calming down, and you can feel yourself enjoying the moment even more.
Joel can tell, too, because his touch becomes bolder. Leaning in, his lips descend upon your neck. He makes sure to carefully nip at the sensitive flesh behind your ear, earning a soft moan. But the acts of affection lower, and he starts to trail down the column of your throat with them, occasionally slipping the tip of his tongue out to taste you.
By the time heâs got you more opened up to the idea of this, youâre squirming under him, trying to press your hips up into his own. He chuckles, the movement making his beard scratch nicely against your jawline.
One of his hands begins to slip down, dipping below the elastic waistband of your underwear. He stops just short of actually making contact with your pussy, his fingers pulling back slightly. Joel leans his head back, only enough to look down at you. He can see the flush on your cheeks and it makes his dick throb.Â
âIs this okay?â He asks with a slight tilt of his head, those weathered puppy eyes staring longingly into yours.
âYeah..â You breathe. The anticipation combined with your arousal is sending tingles up your legs and into the apex of your thighs, amplifying every one of your intense feelings. Your pulse quickens, the steady thrum of your heart filling your ears.
Without hesitation, his fingers finally make contact with your most intimate area. Joel emits a soft groan, while you emit an even softer whimper. His touch is electric, sending jolts of pleasure through your legs and lower stomach, even if he hasnât touched a particularly sensitive area yet.
âYouâre fuckinâ soaked,â he whispers, voice hoarse and full of incredulousness. The older man continues his exploration of your cunt, index finger languidly sliding between your hot folds, feeling the way it glides so easily from your evident need. Youâre too flustered to say anything, so you only look away, wanting to shrink away from his gaze.Â
âHey, look at me. Please.âÂ
You tilt your head back, too weak and in love to ignore his loving plea. A genuine, tender smile curls at the corners of his lips. âI wanna see every emotion on that pretty lilâ face, âkay?â
âFuck-â You gasp again when his digits find your clit, beginning to rub tight circles over the sensitive bud. It throbs under his touch, your legs quivering just a bit while your entrance clenches around nothing, eager to be filled with something. Anything.
âSâalright, let it out.â Joel praises lovingly as he kisses your cheek, continuing his movements that have your hips rocking up and arching to chase that pleasurable feeling.Â
With his thumb now replacing his fingers, Joel pays more attention to your entrance. But before he does anything, he suddenly lifts off of you. You whine at the loss of the pleasurable sensation, but he only gives you a soft âshhâ, reassuring you that heâs nowhere near done working you up.
The older man finally settles between your thighs, his rough hands sliding up to your hips. His fingers curl around the waistband, pulling them off in one easy - or easy-looking - movement. The cool air brushing against your swollen folds makes you shudder, your toes curling on the sheets. Itâd be surprising that you arenât feeling exposed or uncomfortable, yet, youâre with Joel, and you trust him more than anyone.
âGod, look at that,â A soft kiss is pressed to your mound, making you jump a little. âEvery goddamn inch of you is perfect, sweetheart.â he admires.
Itâs like you completely shut out every other feeling when Joelâs tongue comes out, mimicking the way his finger had slid between your folds just minutes ago. You can only focus on the wet, heady feeling of his tongue, of the way it brushes once more against your swollen clit.
Another mousy cry of need escapes you, yet your eyes are trained on Joelâs - you donât want to disobey him. Watching him go down on you for the first time is so fucking erotic. âYou taste even better than I imagined.âÂ
Fuck.Â
Joelâs ministrations become more intense. His tongue flicks and works around your needy bud, not daring to overstimulate you before you two have even begun. Those arms come to wraps around your thighs, keeping you in place as he begins to feast on you like a man once starved.Â
âHoly shit,â Your hands lose themselves in the soft salt-and-pepper locks of Joelâs hair, tugging his face closer to your dripping cunt. This only makes him double down on his efforts, the obscene sounds of his tongue licking and lapping filling the room.
Joel stops for a moment, looking down. His hand pulls away from your thigh, bringing two fingers to his mouth. Then, heâs looking back into your heated stare, sucking them into his mouth, getting them slick enough to slip inside of you.Â
Now, this part was a little intimidating. Sure, youâve touched yourself many a time, yet youâve never put something inside of you. It makes you nervous to think about, but then you stop to think. Heâs never hurt me before.
âPlease be careful.â The words leave your lips before you can stop yourself.
âI wouldnât dream of hurtinâ you, kid.âÂ
The tip of only one digit breaches your small entrance, making you exhale a shaky sigh. It doesnât hurt, but it feels unfamiliar, and your thighs threaten to lock around his head. Joel slides it in slowly, pupils blown wide at the feel of your velvety walls clinging to his finger, trying to pull him deeper. âIâd say youâre already up for a second. Carefully, âcourse.âÂ
Your left hand loosens the grip it had on his hair, coming down to hold the one still around your thigh for support. Joel wastes no time in intertwining your fingers together, offering three comforting squeezes that melt your heart. I love you.
Itâs a little longer of a process for your body to relax enough to let him slip in a second digit. The two inside of you stretch you just a bit, and the sensation isâŚodd. Itâs not painful though, not when Joelâs muttering words of praise and reassurance the entire time.
âI thinkâŚI think you can move now.â You decide.Â
As if on cue, Joelâs fingers begin to slip in and out of your entrance, wanting to get you acquainted with the feeling. And once you do, he curls them up. They brush against your g-spot, feeling the spongy yet hard surface against the tips with each thrust.
Even the slightest touch as your back arched off the bed, a keening moan filling the room. Joel only smiles contentedly, lowering his head to begin suckling at your clit.
Your toes curl once again, and you cry out. âOh my god, Joel-â Each flick of his tongue, each movement of his fingers has you grinding against his mouth, unable to hold back. The flush on your cheeks has bloomed down to your neck, the cutest sight to the older man who absolutely adores you. âThat feels s- so fucking good-â
âLet it out. Be as loud as you need to, baby,â his southern drawl comes out husky with arousal, yet he pushes through. His desires can wait, heâs only worried about making sure you have the best first time. It only comes once, but he wants to make sure you do multiple times tonight.
The praise sets you off, the combination of being fingered and eaten out has you an absolute blissed-out mess. He hums against your cunt, sending vibrations through your entire body. Your hand tightens in his, your head thrown back.
Just another minute or so passes, and you feel the intense tug in your lower stomach. Close, already. Joel can tell as well, seeing the way your walls are fluttering around him as he finger-fucks you with care. His tongue keeps the same steady pace, not wanting to change it up and make you lose the building climax.
âJoel- Joel! Fuck, donât stop, please!âÂ
And just like that, one more flick of Joelâs tongue, one more thrust of his digits, has you tumbling headfirst over the finish line. Your climax is intense, easily one of the most intense youâve had in your short life. Thighs clenched tightly around his head, you cry out in ecstasy as your legs tremble and feel like jelly, walls contracting while your juices spill down to Joelâs palm.
And through it all, the older manâs mouth and hand keeps moving, prolonging your orgasm until you're a writhing, boneless heap on the bed beneath him. Your face glistens with that post-orgasmic glow, chest heaving with each gasp for air.
While youâre still reeling, Joel slowly removes his fingers. He presses kisses up along your body, only stopping when he reaches your lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue - slightly tangy and salty, mixed with something uniquely you. It should gross you out, but it only serves to keep your arousal up, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer.
âYou did so good, so fuckinâ good,â Joel mumbles between kisses. The kisses arenât overly eager; no, theyâre full of adoration and tenderness, and the desire to make you feel the best that you possibly can.
You already feel like a puddle of goo, but the way heâs complimenting you only makes you melt even more. But something snaps you from your thoughts - his length, once again, pressed to your thigh. Itâs as hard as a fucking rock, and you know it has to hurt as this point. One glance down and you can see the wet patch from the pre-cum staining his boxers, and it makes you shudder.
âKeep going..â you murmur, voice weak and slightly husky from the climax. Joel only looks at you with a curious lift of his brow. But you only nod, even beginning to rub your thigh against his bulge.
âAre you sure, pumpkin? I mean- fuck.â The growl deep in his chest makes your pussy wetter, and you can see his hips twitch slightly, wanting to chase that friction. âAlright, alright.â He chuckles.
Pulling back so heâs on his knees, the Texan moves to tug his waistband down.The boxers slip down his muscular thighs with ease, revealing the neatly trimmed forest at the base of his shaft, and most importantly, the seven and a half inch length of his cock. It springs free, slapping against his stomach as he leans back, giving you the full view. Itâs thick, veiny, and clearly in need of release. It twitches once again, the tip an angry pink.
Youâve felt it multiple times during your makeout sessions, and even seen it during showers together, but this was entirely different.
âThis is gonna hurt, isnât it?â You swallow thickly. The nerves rush back, making your stomach drop and clench with anticipation. All you can think is âhow is that supposed to fit in that?â
âI wonât let it,â heâs quick to dispel your fears, once again. âI promise yaâ.âÂ
You watch on in aroused disbelief as Joel spits into his calloused palm before he brings it down to wrap around his shaft. âYouâve got me hard as a damn rock, kid.â His head tilts back, strong jaw clenching under his beard as he starts to stroke it with lazy pumps of his fist. It must be only to lubricate it, because heâs back to hovering his body over yours. âAinât a surprise though, huh?â
With one hand moving to guide his length to your soaked pussy, the other moves back to slide into your own, holding your hand to support you through whatâs going to be your first time having sex.
âYouâre so beautiful,â Joelâs soothing words fill you with ease. He kisses your forehead, pouring every ounce of his true love for you into the action. Heâs not a man of many words, but you melt down that gruff exterior, and he loves you all the more for it. âSo perfect. And all mine, ainât that right?â Itâs possessive, but heâs not mean about it. You nod, and he smiles. âCan you say it for me, pumpkin? Go on, I know yaâ can.â
Trying to gather up the words while Joelâs swiping his cockhead through your folds for lubrication is nearly impossible. Your hand tightens on his, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the task youâve been given.
âI- Iâm all yours, Joel.â You finally breathe, gasping when his tip breaches your entrance. It feels thicker than his two fingers, and thereâs a slight burning sensation that comes with being stretched like that.
Joel grunts, one hand beside your head to keep himself up. His other simply squeezes yours back, grounding you to the situation. âI know, baby, I know. Deep breaths, breathe through it.âÂ
The encouragement is enough, and you start to breathe deeply as he begins to sink inch by inch inside of your tight, wet, velvety heat. Youâve never been stretched so fully - or at all for that matter - it makes you wince, yet clench your muscles around him.
âI love you. I love you so fuckinâ much,â Joel grunts, the pleasure nearly overtaking him. Itâs so fucking tight around his cock, he fights the urge to just start thrusting right then and there. But heâd never hurt you, especially not for some selfish need for pleasure. âSay it back, sweetheart, let me hear those words from your pretty âlilâ mouth.â
It clicks right then and there; heâs distracting you, trying to make you focus on anything other than the feeling of him stretching you wide around his arousal. Itâs so sweet it nearly brings tears to your eyes. In fact, it does. Your eyes fill with unshed tears at the sentiment, and you cling tighter to him.
âI love you.âÂ
The older man finally buries himself to the hilt inside of your cunt, his breathing slightly ragged. He stills to let you work out the foreign feeling for a few moments, leaning down to kiss your cheeks, even kissing away the few tears that had escaped.
âSay it again, kid.âÂ
âF- Fuck- I love you-âÂ
âAtta girl.â Joel encourages warmly, and he begins to piston his hips in gentle, languid strokes. Each thrust has him groaning, mouth pressed against your collarbone, which he begins to mark up with hickeys. Itâs a reminder of the trust you put into him, the trust he wouldnât break for the world. âI love you more.â
Meanwhile, each thrust has you making your own coos of pleasure. The feel of his cock nestled inside of you, each roll of his hips that has his pelvis grinding against your oh-so-sensitive clit, is driving you insane with gratification. With unadulterated need.Â
Your bodies fit and move together like pieces of a puzzle, your legs wrapped tight against his waist as he drives into you over and over. The pain and burn had begun to fade, opening up to extreme pleasure every time the slight curve of his cock pressed against your g-spot.Â
Your noises, combined with the slapping of flesh, fills your ears, making it impossible to focus on anything else; not that youâd want to anyway. And the noises you were making were making Joel inch towards the edge, no matter how hard he tried to fight against it.
âYouâre so fuckinâ tight, my god, pumpkin,â Joel growls. Making sure youâre still holding onto his hand, his other one slips back down - making sure to caress your breasts adoringly on the way - to rub circles into your bud. You mewl, the dual stimulation serving to heighten your pleasure even more. Your walls clamp down on Joelâs shaft, making him let out a strangled moan. It was no secret, you were both so close.
âI want- ah, shit-â The Texan mutters, trying to find his bearings while his hips begin to rut faster, chasing the release he craves. âI want you to cum with me, kid. Let it- Let it wash over yaâ. Deep breaths.â
Joel redoubles his efforts, wanting you to find that wave of ecstasy beside him. He can tell you're close, and with the way his balls draw up tight, he can tell he is too.
âJoel-â Your nails dig into his hand, leaving deep crescent-shaped marks with every step closer you take to the edge. âI- Iâm gonna-â
âShit, darlinâ-â Itâs not long before you both find that much-needed orgasm. Joelâs lips crash against yours, groaning gutturally into your mouth, his hips bucking. Your climax triggered his own, walls keeping him deep inside while his cock twitches and pulses, emptying ropes of thick, hot cum deep inside your womb until heâs spent and panting.
Your legs had locked tight around him, squeezing him while you rode out your own waves of pleasure. Your cries were muffled by his lips, by his tongue. It was somehow even more intense than the previous one, your juices flowing and dripping down his shaft.
Joel carefully collapses on top of you, his hands moving to gather your boneless form into his comforting arms. âThere you go, sweetheart. You did so good. So good for me.â He whispers against your ear, turning your bodies to the side so you were snuggled against the hard planes of his chest instead of laying under him.
âWas it okay?â He asks, genuinely caring about your wellbeing whilst he peppers kisses all over your face. His softening cock slips out of you with a soft pop, a trail of your combined fluids leaking from your well-loved hole and onto the blankets below.Â
âOkay?â You ask in a tired voice, your face pressed against his neck. âThat was...that was fucking amazing.â
Joel chuckles, the deep rumble of it vibrating in his chest and filling your ear. âGood, kid. Iâm glad.â Thereâs a sense of accomplishment in the way he holds himself in this very moment. Heâs proud heâs satisfied you, turned your first time into something youâll never forget. âDonât worry about cleaninâ up just yet. Lemme hold yaâ.âÂ
âMhm..â Youâre so out of it that youâre already falling asleep - and Joelâs kisses arenât making it any easier to stay awake. The scent of him fills your nose, the comforting smell surrounding you in warmth and familiarity. âHowâŚhow was I?â
âThe best I ever had. Ever.â His thick fingers start to trace invisible patterns around your back, his movements reverent - he was being genuine with his words, you could hear it in his voice.Â
âGet some sleep, baby girl. I love you more than anything. And I mean that.â His breath nearly catches, a lump forming in his throat. The man quickly clears his throat, not wanting to get all sappy on you when youâre trying to sleep. Though, he does whisper one last thing before closing his own dark eyes, letting exhaustion wash over him as well.
âAnything, kid.â
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x y/n#the last of us hbo#the last of us tv#joel miller x reader smut#joel takes your virginity#pedro pascal#joel miller fanfiction#tlou fanfiction
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Demon's Desire - Chapter Three: Lustful Wants
Summary: After getting your new wings from felix, who seemed to have left you quiet a lot of things in return. You stared to work on your list along with trying to get other things you'd normally get done but you also had another goal in mind, to find hyunjin and talk to him. Wanting to know how you got caught in that crash to begin with and see what his role was, also seeing how he is once the moon is out.
Word Count: 5.6k
Parts: Teaser, 01, 02
Tags: Demon AU, Demon royalty AU, demon chan, demon felix, demon lee know, demon seungmin, demon han, demon changbin, demon hyunjin, demon jeongin, unprotected sex, male reader, top stray kids with some switches, bottom reader, MDNI, talks or hell, torture, sexual things, possessiveness, obsessiveness, poly! stray kids, poly! chan, poly! felix, poly!hyunjin, Poly!changbin, poly!seungmin, Poly!i.n., Plly
Taglist: @felixneverbadd @gnusihcom @a-short-ass-disappointment
PS: please enjoy this teasing hyunjin who enjoys messing with you, but nonetheless, reminding you of what he could really do if he wanted to. But being more soft towards you durning the late hours of the night, I hope you're enjoying the series so far, Please feel free to ask for a spot in the taglist I promise I will add you into it so you can enjoy the many chapter to come, not sure how many but they will happen. Next in the list will either be Gluttony Changbin or a sloth Hannie just to throw in something a little extra please enjoy and tell me who do you think should be next.
With that being said I decidede to take another darker turn towards the end just a little surprise, sorry it took me a while but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless1
Filling my tub with warm water, bubbles and rose petals like I always do when taking a bath in the morning. Before I did any of that I made myself a drink, nothing too strong as of right now and set it next to the large sunken in tub with soft music playing the background to help me feel more relaxed then not. I grabbed a silk robe from my closet, usually the first one I see and hang it close to the tub with my towel for drying myself along with my bathroom vanity set up, with the wig from yesterday on the mannequin head for me to get ready for that process. I wanted to do that before I did anything else just to see if it was a lost cause or not and I just needed to take time with it and not rush into it. Taking off the rest of my clothes and setting them down to laundry hamper I kept in there near the tub but not close. My actual hair isn't that bad but if I can keep it up while I take a bath I do, and if not I just let it hang free while I do what I need to do and there's nothing wrong with that.
Slowly getting in I let out a relaxed sigh while slowly letting my back rest against the tub, closing my eyes while I let myself relax. This is all I truly wanted when coming home from work after so long. Just relax, eat somethingwhile watching a show and fall asleep hoping I'm not missing anything while getting ready to do more of a lot of things in the morning. All I wanted to do was this, grabbing my favorite bath sponge and soap I began scrubbing while being carerful of some spots, lookiong closely while I saw a small rose on my left side. It made me stop while I remember seeing the same one on felix, though it was intresting since mine was smaller then I think I could see what his was since it was still covered. It was going to be intresting to hide these during shows, makes me wonder what they would do if they saw those roses being covered just so I can keep my money up.
These men have everything in their hands, but I hate just taking it or being given that, I worked my way to get here. Even when I was constantly in pain and wanted to juist disappear and hope for the next life I would have loving people for my family who didn't want to make my life a living hell while I crawl my way to a palce they've been wanting to do for years yet lost. If I was going to get something, I was going to earn it no matter what any of them wanted to tell me or spoil me. I won't accept less or lowballs for it either. Getting out of the tub and letting out the water, I dried myself off with my towel and used my favorite lotion while making sure my face was cleaned since the makeup was ruined. Getting dressed in something casual for me to wear, it dind't matter to me, just as long as I felt comfortable in this moment right now I was ready to know this was going to be a while. Singing what I could just to get through this, having a steamer to get through this is my best friend for all of this. But the hair wasn't getting better, it wasn't the same anymore, I needed something new.
Maybe I can ask felix when I see him later if it's even possible but there's nothing else I could really do about it. Even after trying for hours to make sure I got everything since yet again I refused to just give up without making sure I could do something but not everything can be saved. There is no point on beating myself up over things I have no control over, that just makes everything harder to get through and I'm not here for it. I closed the wig in the bag it came with and looked at the other two felix had given me. One was the same as my last one, just a bit more sparkely then before. The other one was just as long and flowy, something I loved when getting wigs or even letitng my down my actual hair, but it was a dark blue, almost like a midnight blue to give out somethingâŚnew. It was like something emerging from the dark and capturing you're attention just to pull you back in the darkness and giving you an embrace that there was no getting out of. Maybe I could use this one for now, since I needed something new after a while.
I help the bag and walked out of the bathroom over to my closet, the large walk in closet with a wide range of everything. Looking through I knew I needed something casual now, the things I was wearing had some sliver strands stuck on it and I just wanted to get into something else. Maybe just a hoodie with some sweats, I should also just let my natural hair breathe for a while. Letting it down while changing into a comfortable hoodie before walking to my room, walking to my work desk where I tend to keep my credit card, notepad to make sure I tracked everything and knew how much I spent on one store, if I go to any. Sometimes If I know I could afford to spend enough I should be good to go on a shopping spree, maybe that's what I need after a long day, well the start of a second one I could feel it coming and man was I not ready and just really wanted to get things done and come back home just to relax. Though my bedroom needed more decore, it was looking boring still I'm getting done with it by now.
I mainly enjoyed walking since I didn't want to drive, my roadrage was too real and I knew I would hit someone in a road rage or I'd get chased and walking just seems a little bit moreâŚmanageable after this. Grabbing my small bag I walked towards the door, making sure all of my cards were in there along with some cash just in case. Making sure I had my room key I left and locked the door, tapping the card against the keypad twice to make sure it's locked entirely before walking back to the elevator, one thing I forgot to mention that was in here was my earbuds so I can stay focused on shopping and not have to worry about random people calling my name when I don't feel like talking to them and just stay focused on the things I need to do so I can go home earlier and feel more relaxed and not feeling like I was already doing entirely too much for one day. Slipping them on as I pressed teh main floor button, I just played a random song on my playlist and elft it on shufle while waiting to go down the entire way. Walking out and handing over my key before walking out of hte large black steel metal doors to get to the main sidewalk, turning right and just walking down to the main store close to me, wanting to get my food shopping done first instead of just ordering fast food or eating out. I wanted to cook my own food for tonight and call it good.
It wasn't that far, was it always crowded though? Yes, was I used to it by now? Kinda but not entirely either. Grabbing a shopping cart I began walking around, staying on the left side since this closer and knowing me I was going too carry this all home and give it all to a staff member who has access to all the rooms, and would set everything inside my room without a hitch. Should I have bothered Felix back at home? Maybe but I don't know the exact room number he's in since the door closed right as he started to walk pratically since this place also makes sure everyone is safe, especially those who pay for the higher rooms since those cost more to take care of, though they do treat the lower rooms the same since I used to stay there before getting a bigger room like the one I have now. Sure it would take longer sometimes but since they've been able to expand on a lot more things, every floor now has their own keepers to make things a lot more easier. Something I thought was smart to do because it meant no one would try to steal from the higher rooms and get in trouble for it so fair is fair if you ask me.
But overall it was fine, and I was taking my time and felt more relaxed while trying to plan these out. Looking at everything, I felt better knowing I wasn't using that much but overall it was considered a lot. Overall, with everything I had in my cart, I spent just about 58,000 won ($54) in total with everything in bags before walking back to the hotel. My head held up high and kept walking to the front desk, which was a little bit late since of the drag because of the bags, but I was able to hand them over and watch the people walk to the elevator, where I was surprised to see hyunjin leaving in the same outfit he had when he dropped me off here. I titled my head as he flashed me a smile while walking over to me, his smile never wavering as he got closer. âWell look what we have here, whatâs happening right here?â He stood close to me, looking down with his hands still in his pocket while I crossed my arms.
âDidn't feel like getting too dressed up on my day off, what are you doing here?â I asked him, watching him hum and walk around me for a while, almost like he was singing a song in his head anf feeling happy about it and just trying to feel himself. âI wanted to come see what Felix was doing since we have a lot to do tonight. I was about to leave and go to go shopping for some clothes, what were you about to do hm? Cook something and not give me a plate?â I felt my own eyes roll at that statement but I also had a smile on my face despite my efforts to try not to. âI usuaslly go window shopping unless I want something clothes wise, despite my outfit right now, why did you want to try and make up for confusing me when I left after we first met?â I poked a little bear, I could see it in his eyes that he was surpised just a little but and I wanted to keep smirking at the thought it but I didn't. I just kept looking at him while he got closer. I could tell he wanted to reach his arm out like he's been doing almost everytime we've met for now but he stopped himself and honestly I wanted to grab him and walk out since I could tell some people were trying to watch and be nosey about the bussiness that was happening right now but I kept my face as straight as I could.
But he surprised me because he got close enough and leaned down in my ear, his hands coming out of his pockets to hold my sides carefully. âYou're smartt babyboy and I like it, letâs talk more about that away from nosey ears, doesn't that sound like a smart idea?â I could only feel myself nod while fighting the urge to roll my eyes. He pulled away just a bit and once again wrapped his left arm around my waist, walking out of the lobby to find him with a different car. âBMW? This looks more pricey then the ones I see on the special events we tend to have.â âBecause it was custom made a while ago, thought I have her come out for a drive.â He opened the door and let me inside the backside, I didn't want to smile but I could feel myself smiling as I got in and looked at the black and wine red intieror. He knew what he liked and what looked good, I know some who just woudl've gone with the generic red but this was just the right kind of dark red that feel like a luxury to have. I can imagine the features he has for it as well but won't show it to me yet. âAnd don't worry about the drivers, I'mnot supposed to be telling you this so early but given how smart you are, I'm sure you can tell something about the drivers now can't you?â I looked over to him, watching him get in the car and closing the door while just leaning back in his seat, of course he didn't need a seatbelt. I guess overall I didnât need one either but I was used to wearing one everytime I got in a cab just to go anywhere. After all It made sure I somewhat survivedand didn't just go flying out of the car like a fly.
âI thought they were just good at their job and acting like they didn't hear anything as much?â He shook his head, leaning it to the left while humming. âTheir lifeless, we each have our own ones, a maxium of 15 just to throw peoeple off.â âDid you tell yours to get into a crash?â I raised a brow, almost ready to explode on him for getting me in this situation because I truly just wanted to go home and continue with my life and proabably laugh at my sister for making a scene if she ever did. âNo, our leader had that planned out, we just needed to bring one to the car and hoep he or she would be able to make it past the drinking phase. Usually they all burn from the inside out. I wasn't supposed to be there, since I would stand out but Sometimes I don't listen to him, he gets annoyed about it but there's not a lot he can do other then keep me back in the main house for a while till he thinks I've learned my lesson for not listening to him when he says no.â My mind was trying to put the pieces together again, because clearly I'm not supposed to know who this leader is, but by the looks of it he seems more focused on his friends well-being but making sure the rules are being listned to and not ignored to a point of disrespect.
âThe one in the middle? He looks terrifying almost when I met him.â Hyunjin has a habit of tilting his head slightly side to side I can see. Just from the way he's looking now, even when the driver is getting closer to the mall, I can see it from afar and by the looks of it, it's gonna be crowded all over again. Maybe I'll see some coworkers and we can either go on with the day or just talk. Sometimes we do butother times we see a lot of paying customers who used to get violent and try to keep ourselves hidden. Some are just weird but over all it's not my problem nor am I going to carry it like it is. âHe can be like that in public or when we have someone we like. For your case, it's to show that we may tell you stories of him being funny and whatnot, but he also wants you to know he has a say in a lot of things that even I can't cross him in. And there will be nothing that any of us could do about it. But, if he likes you slightly, he might go easy on you.â The car parked in front of the main mall entrance, we could see some people peaking while they were walking, hyunjin got out and held his hand out. I tilted my head before looking down and seeing that my outfit was changed.
I wasn't wearing my laid back clothes, instead I was wearing something more fitting for the mall but it was still loose and laid back. I had a black undershirt on with a large white buttoned up see-tihrough shirtthe buttons were slightly undone, only 3 tops ones were and I now had black slack pants with a sliver chain on my left pocket with a large hoop on the front pocket. The sneakers were a nice pick, I was compleletely fine with this one as well but it confused me while I got out and held his hand. âHow did you change my outfit? I was fully prepared to ignore people for judging my outfit.â His arm and hand went back to their favorite place while we walked to the entrance while we could slightly hear some whispers and still feel some of the stares coming from many angles.
âBecause I'm the type of person that would say something to cause a scene and then ruin their life. Besides think of it as helping getting used to your new life. The main people you have to worry about in public, is our leader obviously, lee know and changbin. Those three take no disrespect when it comes to things like this. And that's not for debate.â
âI'm really worth allof that for 8 men who just met me and decided I was the one?â
I watched him nod his head while we walked and looked around some. There was one outfit I knew Iwanted even if it was for formal events and those are something I rarely attend to unless some of the fancy richer people I know decide to invite me. Even when I know they just need something for me, I charge for that kind of serives because I'm not just going to allow it to happen without someone regretting about it very much.I think hyunjin was just letting me be the guide while he walked along with me. âThese are very high dresses, had a plan to attend something fancy outside of the bar now did you?â I could only shurg some while looking around. Slowly getting away from his wamring touch and looking at the racks before seeing a dark wine dress. âDepends onif any of you tend on inviting me to anything, Can't be surprised only to rely on someone to give me a backup. I like having my own options when we go out.â I would keep lookiong up to see his reaction to it since he seems like the type to enjoy spoiling someone he consideres to like, I have more questions for him, but with most of thios being in public it would draw attention and that would be the last thing I needed or wanted to deal with really.
âBesides look at this one, how could I say no to that?â I wanted to try and keep this conversation as normal as possible since I knew i'd be able to talk to him more later tonight. Even though it felt like it was so far from now, I knew that would be more of a better time since then we'd have no one else to worry about. I think he was able to catch onto my thinking or the fact that I really wanted to talk about something with him but it just wasn't coming out the way we wanted to. Since it would also make things a problem and it would be something none of us wanted to. But going back to the dress, it was more considered a mermaid style of a dress, a dark wine red color that would go well with any formal meetings or gatherings which I can only imagine that the men attened. There was a hand stitched design The top had that of a flower and stem design, left to your imagination of what kind of flower, I would say a rose since the color of the dress. The fabric felt like satin with a lace back style, something I knew I had the perfect boots for. Something I always enjoyed when getting dressed up was doing things like this, after all if I look good in a dress, why let my gender stop me from doing so? Even if my shoulders would show and I could probably tuck in the spaghetti straps on the dress to make it look like it was strapless, something I also liked when wearing something like it.
âWell now that you mentioned it, that girl you claimed to be related to when I picked you up.â Carefully putting the dress back on the rack, I looked over to him while he seemed to be looking at his own versions of a dress or even a suit to look for, since everything was close together and it all just overall seemed to look better. âThere is an event I was invited to, along with felix and some of the others, youâd get to meet our leader for sure. I was going to go alone, but if you want to go with me then we can go together?â I titled my head to the side being curious of it since I wanted to see what else he had to offer. âWell whatâs the attire? How classy or fancy do we have to dress up?â I could see the look in his eyes, he seemed to be happy and excited to be able to get something or the two of us and maybe even making something for the others to see and have something incorporated into the outfit of choice. âLet me surprise you, you can get anything else you wanted from here and I'll handle everything else.â
Hyubjin agreed to have us matching wth some outfits, I let him pickthe outfits from when we lwft and he would come and pikc me up at the time we needed to go, which would be around 7pm, since it was going to be a long drive to somewhere far away from the pearing eyes of those in the city. But that didn't mean there wouldn't be any security. There would be since everyone ahd to verify who they were and who they were going with. Hyunjin promised that he would talk to his leader and get things handled so I could attend with little to no worryandhe would pay for the ticket if he needed to. Which I was sure wa like pocket change for him since he could walk into a store and get things for free but he would still pay the workers mroe then they were getting in most cases since some people would be rude to them after he left. He dropped me off at home, saying he would send the outfit when he was able to get what he knew would be good while I did my makeup.
I didn't go too wild with my makeup, I wanted something simpy but it would still be straight to the point. I decided to stick with black and gold since it just felt right. I didn't want to do the same looks I do for shows, which is just any silver or platinum looks and I wanted to try something different so black and gold it is. The inners of my eyes were a bright gold that would sparkle in any form of light. The outer parts of my eyes faded to a black settled look. To me it was giving a smokey eyed look but I enjoyed it for myself. I added a winged eyeliner just to look more dramatic? In a way but I liked it, my hair was curled, even with it being small {Just in case the reader has short hair} The Sun was started to set when I heard my doorbell ring.
Walking over and opening the door, it was the gift sender from downstairs and held out teh box to me. Smiling to me as I thanked her and walked back inside, setting the box on table and slowly opening it. Gasping in shock as I slowly held it up, It was something I didn't expect from him, this must be a very important event for him to send me something like this. It was a straples dress with a large black flab around my chest area that had a long piece go down the back almost a veil but it was for the back, the front had black jewels with the left side showing the left side of my waist and thigh, but I would have something to cover things no one else was allowed to see. The jewels reminded me of soemthing reaching out like tree roots in the ground. I had just the best pair of heels for these along with a small bag. I got dressed and messed with my hair while making sure everything looked great. Putting on my black heels that had gold on the bottom with a small black bow on hte back and more black jewels on the front. Walking around ym closet I grabbed a small back pruse with a long black string. Inside I would have my favorite cologne, a matching black and gold fan with my favorite birthday cake chapstick with my clear yet sparkly lipgloss.
I almost felt mself wanting to grab my matching black goves just to have something but I felt like I was doing way too much with that so I decided against it, but I did add some black dangling earings with a simple gold necklace with two matching gold bracelets. Looking in the mirror, I looked something new but I was happy with it. I liked the way I looked, how every curse was hugged but it wasnât too tight or lose. Looking at my phone, because yes he made sure I had his number so I could surprise him instead of him waiting for me downstairs with felix since the two of them were going to ride together. I got the text that he was here and after maksing sure everything was locked, my phone was in my pocket. Double checking that everything was right and off, I left my room and locked it. Walking down the to elevator and walking past everyone on the main lobby, handing the front desk and handing over my key, smiling as I walked to the double doors and soon to the gates. Thanking those who looked at me before someone offered to open the gate and there I saw the two men waiting by the luxury limo.
Hyunjin wore a long sleeved white shirt, the shirt having flower and star shaped cutouts from the fabric itself with one long black glove that had a silver braclet. The black tight leather jeans had a black and gold belt around his waist but had some silver chains hanging from some of the belt loops, with the jeans covering the high boots he was wearing, at least I was guessing he was wearing those. He looked at me with a proud smile but he was also had a shokced look on his face while I walked closer. Looking over to felix, who had more of shocked face but was still happy to see me. He seemed to take more a prince look by his outfit. It was pure white, practically the same color as snow, no wonder we had so many people staring. Yet there was still some gold accents to it, the collar covering his neck had a gold stitched in flower with a gold chain going to his right shoulder. On the right side on the white pocket was a gold, I wantt to call it a button but its not. He did have gold buttons on it though, shinning with the light while the left side was covered with a matching clock. If I didn't know any better I would've assumed he was a prince with how he was dressed for such an event. And I can see why the place were going is going to be concsidered private from the public eye and we have to go out of town for it.
âNow Hyunjin look at this, you pratically incorporated everyones outfits into one dress for this handsome man, we're going to be late for this.â Felix wanted to say more, but people were talking and some were starting to pull out there phones to take vides or pictures. So all got into the black limo and comfortably sat as the limo drove off. âWell, minus the mob that was growing, thank you Felix, I told you I was going to try and blow people away.â âYou two looked like you came straight from a fairytale and decided to come look for a bride and decided on a male. You two canât say much when it comes to me.â I joked, seeing hyunjin act dramatically shocked, and felix starting to laugh. âGuessing by the fancy attire we all are wearing, this has to be something very important or something just to be yourself away from the public eye and trying to make the place free from people?â
I was sitting between the pair and could see them looking at each other. I almost wanted to say I could see a faint hint of green and red between the two of them, but I wasn't going to question yet. âWell, I would've explained that when you went to sleep tonight but giving how I've been with you pratcailly all day, you won't see me tonight, since you have to meet someone new to keep you on your toes. Me and felix have been too friendly with you, something out leader isn't too fond of thnking that we're favoring you and not giving you a fairchance. That being said the place that we're going to tonight is more of a close friend of ours, well a close group. They can tell you more then we can if they choose to, but always keep this in mind. If you see their captain, and trust me they make it well known who that is, but be careful of them. The two leaders are more resevered then the others are.â I titled my head while felix explained all of this to me. It was more of an eye opener and a reminder, I'm not a human anymore and there will be poeple that I run into that could either make my experience duriong this and some that could make me regret ever being here. Something I never thought to consider.
I have been more friendly and close with these two simply because Felix lives closer to me, and hyunjin seems to be more social and local in the places I tend to visit. I have 5 more people to meet, with one of them seemingly being the one who can either make a choice go through or put a stop to it quicker then any of us could blink with a snap of his finger. âYou won't like the later part of this event, something we al started to think about later beacuse at the end of it, you'll begin to see more demons and such and what some of us do, speak out about it if you choose to but rememebr this. Me and Felix can only do so much, if we get told no by those stronger then us and there's only one, there is nothing we can do to save you. And you won't like us for a while because of it.â
If I could leave the car I would, because Hyunjin made his eyes glow this mixture of pink and a dark purple while seeminly enjoying the fact that I was confused and slowly putting things together that I don't have much control over what happens. I was so caught up in being treated like nothing was different and not experiencing anything different from what I'm used to that the now reality that the places I could go won't have humans anymore and if I'm not careful something drastic could happen and there is very little some could do. I was staring at Hyunjin but felix seemed to keep his eyes more normal but I could swear I saw the undertone green at the bottom of his eyes. It was something some would have to pay very close attetnion to in order to notice it. But it overall seemed something for them to enjoy, makes sense as to why we're dressed up so fancy for it as well. And why we had to be so far away from people. âWhat happens at these events?â âCan't tell you that, it would ruin the fun of your reaction. Don't worry, you won't be phycailly hurt, but you will hate us for the next oh..couple days?â
We got to the place, stopping at the entrance where there were other luxury cars stopped in the large circle driveway that had those large water fountains in the middle. âDo try to remember, everything we've done was genuine, love.â
#fanfic#fantasy#gayness#stray kids x reader#stray kids x male reader#stray kids smut#straykids#felix#bang chan#seungmin#lee know#han jisung#changbin#hyunjin#jeongin#kpop imagines#kpop x male reader#kpop x male reader smut#demon au#royalty au#sin au
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