#I'm not just looking for Hawkeye coming out to BJ

[thebreakfastgenie]

Thank you, and reblogging for my followers who may be interested!

Something I think is tragically under-explored in terms of queer MASH fan content is Hawkeye having to figure out if BJ is a safe person. We don't see the beginning of Trapper and Hawkeye's friendship, so it's easy to assume they're already comfortable with each other and Trapper is already in the loop. But even if you don't assume that, George makes it clear that Trapper does not have a problem with gay people and there is a delightful read of the tag on that episode being Trapper basically telling Hawkeye "I know, and it's okay."

But when Hawkeye meets BJ in Welcome to Korea he's just lost one of the few people he can totally confide in, and he has no idea if BJ is going to be that. Not to mention, with Henry gone, the new C.O. is either going to be Frank or a total stranger and if you actually want o get into the reality of being queer in Hawkeye's position, that makes him pretty vulnerable. There is a lot of emotional ground, there!

And it can end with BJ being great! It can also end with Hawkeye just not telling him, which I personally find very interesting. But either way, when he meets BJ, as much as he likes him, there definitely has to be a feeling out.

[marley-manson]

So upon rewatching Preventative Medicine I'm even more disappointed with it because they established a legitimate way to make Hawkeye's choice actually morally grey and ultimately pointless, and then completely ignored it during his argument with BJ and the final scene in the Swamp.

BJ assumes they're giving Lacey fake gastritis to keep him in bed for a couple days, presumably so he can't try taking the hill "tomorrow." Unbeknownst to them, Potter has also requested that Lacey be taken off the front lines. Based on the show's usual depiction of the army I think that request is unlikely to be honoured, BUT based on the narrative of this episode one assumes the point of showing us Potter making that call is that it will have an effect.

So what they could've had was an argument about, or at least mentioning, Hawkeye's escalation. BJ arguing that it's enough to buy a day or two of time to figure out a way to dissuade him from trying to take the hill, Hawkeye arguing that it's not enough, he'll go back and kill more boys either way and he has to be stopped for good.

Then for the 'woe it was all pointless ending' Potter could yk, come in all "good news I requested that Lacey be transferred off the front lines and they're taking it seriously. hey btw where is he?"

That would at least like, be a reasonable argument against Hawkeye. But unfortunately, BJ's argument in the scrub room is nonsensical in the actual episode and Hawkeye's angst afterwards is also nonsensical, so imo the episode really dropped the ball here. Hawkeye feeling bad about taking out his appendix would make sense if he knew he was going to lose his command anyway, but he doesn't know that (and neither do we, because it's never brought up again.) He just feels bad arbitrarily, because... he didn't stop the war? I guess? Even though that was clearly not his goal lol?

All that said, I probably still wouldn't like it, just because I don't really like the idea of an episode designed to make Hawkeye seem ~too extreme~ in his attempt to save lives, yk, in terms of evaluating the politics of the show. I'd still side with Hawkeye lol.

And to be fair, maybe the reason they dropped the salient points is that it would've made Hawkeye look worse and much less defensible, whereas this is an ending you can have a debate with your friends about, even if the narrative awkwardly sides with BJ.

But then why bring up Potter trying to get Lacey transferred at all if we're not gonna follow up on that in any way?

And there are still ways to make it more even, like consider: Potter's request to transfer Lacey is refused, but a delay of 2 days so Lacey could recover from fake gastritis would've finished off his attempts at getting the hill. His superior sends him to another area of the front to keep him away from it, maybe, after that phone call where Lacey practically begs to be allowed to throw more men at it lol. So then you have the moral quandary of: BJ's idea would've saved the boys in the short term, but Lacey would still be their leader.

Or maybe BJ gets his way, Hawk doesn't perform the appendectomy bc BJ threatens to tell on him or something, and Lacey misses out on the hlil but remains in charge and Hawkeye is torn between being glad that the boys aren't in immediate danger but knowing Lacey will probably sacrifice them for something else stupid soon enough.

Idk, I think the bottom line is it's sloppy writing, probably due to late-stage rewrites at Mike Farrell's request lol. Maybe they just ran out of time to make sure it was polished and all their ts were crossed.

But like, it's a shame. Could've been a lot more interesting a moral dilemma imo.

[guy-in-a-dress]

Rating the main M*A*S*H crew on their hugging abilities

1. Hawkeye

The hugger of all time

Probably picks you up n hops around with you while yelling about whatever the fuck he's being insane about at the moment

The skinny arms lowkey dig into your everywhere but it's worth it

9/10

2. Trapper

Beefy teddy bear

IDC if he said he's out of shape in that one ep I can see that beef. Muscly ppl are some of the best huggers

WILL spin you. He probably sends the kids that hang around around the camp into orbit when he's in a good mood

10/10

3. BJ

Father figures give the best hugs

Also something about that mustache make him feel significantly huggier idk why

He'd probably jump around like Hawkeye or at the very least shake you like a rag doll

You know you've had a good hug if you feel mildly concussed afterwards

10/10

4. Henry

What did I say about father figures

His office is open for hugs as long as he's not on the phone with his wife

He'd be real confused going into it tho

"Arms over the shoulder- oh no around the waist okay"

Also whatever is in those vest pockets would poke you

8/10

5. Potter

Grandpa. Need I say more

Not to mention he's a horse girl(gender neutral), who are known for being excellent at hugs

Unfortunately he smells like an antique barn but that comes with the job of being your friendly neighborhood horse grandpa

9/10

6. Frank

Unpopular opinion time but I genuinely think he's capable of being a great hugger

Like he needs SOME type of positive trait to balance out his cartoonishly evil persona so I think this is a bone I'm willing to throw

He'd probably be that relative that you let hug you bc you feel kind of bad for him

Then he ruins the moment by saying the most horrifying shit imaginable

That and he always seems to be in a cold sweat no matter the weather

7/10

7. Margaret

A good hugger when it counts

Isn't one for hugging or physical touch beyond sex

However

She will not hesitate to hug a patient or child if she's asked or if she feels it's necessary

If she's in a good mood she'll hug a nurse who's having a hard time

7/10

8. Charles

The repressed of all time

Will not give hugs unless he's mega drunk

Probably wasn't hugged enough as a child

If someone else initiates he'll probably complain but eventually reciprocate like the antagonist-turned-bitchy-roommate he is

Definitely get "disgusting. Do it again" vibes from him esp in later seasons

5/10

9. Radar

Nope

Look I'm definitely a "southerners and midwesterners give the best hugs" truther but this boy is a limp noodle

You'd get an arm around the shoulder if you're lucky

He's probably bad at handshakes too

Won't initiate unless he's on the verge of tears or losing his mind with hype

4/10

10. Father Mulcahy

Since he's a priest I'm choosing to count him as a father figure and by this point you know what I think about dad hugs

He's 100% DTH(down to hug) and won't bring it up again afterwards (he counts hugs as silent confessions)

He'd probably do the 'rocking back n forth' thing too if he thinks it's necessary

11/10

11. Klinger

Fuck yeag

Is a lot like Mulcahy in that he will hug anyone he thinks needs it

Also probably has several handkerchiefs on his person just in case you need to cry

If he's upset he'll probably squeeze you like a stress ball without realizing but that shit's therapeutic

10/10

[laylainalaska]

Still on my MASH nonsense, I watched 8x22 "Dreams" last night and I'm completely full of meta thoughts about it. I don't think I'm going to cut this for spoilers for a 40-year-old episode (unless it gets long) because I figure everyone reading this has probably either seen it or doesn't care.

So I think what fascinated me most is that Hawkeye and Charles were the only people out of the main cast whose great fear was specifically not being able to save people because they weren't good enough. This fascinates me doubly because Hawkeye also dreamed Charles into his dream, trapped in the same hell he's in, and then this is reflected in the finale (I'm watching out of order, I watched the finale recently even though I still haven't seen most of seasons 9-11), when Charles and Hawkeye are the two people with the most visible emotional trauma from the war and specifically about people they failed to save in it.

There were other people whose dreams were clearly about the tragedy of soldiers dying around them (Margaret and Mulcahy in particular) but not in a way that really feels quite so much like they're blaming themselves for it, whereas Hawkeye and Charles's dreams very clearly were about that.

Okay, this did get long, so I'll cut it a bit.

In general, going through the dreams in no particular order:

Potter's been around so much and seen so much that he's not even that affected by what's happening; he just has a fairly nice dream about his childhood. (Though he also got interrupted in the middle, so it's possible things would have gone bad later.)

Margaret has the other most complicated dream next to Hawkeye's; like Hawkeye's, hers is full of symbolic elements and changes. I read Margaret's dream mainly as craving home and family, which the war is constantly taking away from her, leaving her alone with a marriage bed full of dead soldiers and a wedding dress drenched in blood.

BJ misses his wife and blames the war for taking him away from her.

Klinger is simply afraid that the only way he's going home is as a corpse.

Mulcahy is probably the other one who has a dream that's the most similar to Hawkeye and Charles's in terms of sheer guilt; his is about faltering faith, in which even the trappings of the highest office in his faith can't stop him from being splashed with the blood of the dead.

Charles dreams of all his skills and talents as nothing more than empty stage magic that can do nothing to stop a patient from dying in front of him, while everyone stands around judging him and slowly recognizing him for a fraud.

And Hawkeye dreams himself and Charles into the world's most horrifying medical school, in which he (and Charles, more indirectly) are tortured for not paying attention and failing to answer questions correctly.

I think what really gets to me about the first part of Hawkeye's dream is how terrified and hurt they both look.

Their entire body language is that of kids being punished, who are trying to avoid drawing attention and being punished more.

Charles dreamed of failing to save patients as a direct personal failure, with adoration turning to condemnation as people realize he's a fraud. Whereas Hawkeye sees both himself and Charles as victims of an impersonal system that punishes them cruelly for failing - but it's still Hawkeye's failure that leads to punishment.

I actually thought this was going in a slightly different direction with Hawkeye being forced to choose whether to give up his own limbs or sacrifice Charles's; instead it's Charles being ordered to torture him, clearly not wanting to but doing it anyway - I think that there's just a lot to unpack here about how Hawkeye sees himself and everyone around him as being victimized by an unfair system that brutalizes them constantly.

And then he ends up surrounded by the pieces of the people he couldn't save, unable to help anyone because he has no hands to help them with, and the helicopters just keep coming - oh, Hawkeye.

MASH: a comedy.

Tying this to the finale, though, it made me think that after Hawkeye (and Mulcahy, who is similar to Hawkeye in bleeding for everyone who's hurt in the war) Charles probably has the next-highest tendency to get attached to people that he meets as one-offs in various episodes, which is fascinating because you wouldn't think he would be like that, but that's what got to him in the finale, was bonding with people he'd only just met. And he does that off and on throughout the series, too, like in the episode with the injured musician, or the stutterer, or the baby episode.

BJ and Margaret simply compartmentalize better. BJ's entire life is centered back home, where nothing that happens to him out here is really going to affect him as much. And Margaret has a fairly highly developed ability to be empathic in the moment but turn it off later - I'm not saying she's unfeeling, she clearly isn't, but as someone in a profession where she deals with helping injured people with their physical needs and soothing their pain all day every day, she has to.

Charles isn't high-empathy in the same way Hawkeye is, but once he sees his patients as people, he can't really unsee it, and he can't turn it off and on as easily (which I think is the thing both BJ and Margaret can do; they can feel for the people they're helping and then let it go and move on - they're both emotionally healthy enough to recognize that it's not their fault if things turn out badly and let it go). Charles is harder to get emotionally engaged but once he does, he gets really into fixing things for that person, I think.

And Hawkeye can't turn it off at all, poor guy 😭; he bleeds for everyone like that, all the time.

[remyfire]

29 (a kiss to the back of the hand) or 18 (a kiss while laughing) for hawkeye/bj?

This was more fun than it had any right to be :D Thank you for the prompt, anon!! You get both kisses~ It's 2k, oops. I'm still very bad at making these short. Kiss Roulette [AO3 crosspost]

When Hawkeye comes back from taking a leak, practically swimming through the smokiness of the bar, BJ's still there, sipping his beer, staring right where he was when Hawk left. Hawkeye huffs with a crooked smile and shakes his head. Come to California, he said. Get some fresh air, he said. We'll have mindless wild hot sex every night and twice on Sundays with a matinee, he said—well, maybe not quite that, but close enough—and yet even after a year out here with him, BJ's goat is still just as easy to get.

Hawk almost bumps into a couple of college kids with their hands in each other's back pockets. "'Scuse me, fellas." Has to turn sideways to squeeze between two broad, muscular guys who are both somehow half a foot taller than him. "Pardon me..." And by the time he's back at BJ's side, he still hasn't looked away.

"You're not really thinking about it, are you?" Hawkeye asks by way of greeting.

Immediately BJ wraps his arm around Hawk's waist and pulls him flush to his side, then keeps a claiming hand on his hip. "About what?" He casually takes another sip.

"About Blondie over there in the red flannel." When he gets no response, he grabs BJ by the chin and rotates him so they're nose to nose. "Hey."

They lock eyes. BJ's face is perfectly calm but there's a tiny blue flame flickering in his gaze. "He's a dick."

Hawkeye's brows spring upward. "Beej, he hit on me, that's all. What's the big deal? Have you noticed where we are?"

"Yeah, he hit on you even after I kissed you right in front of him." BJ's voice tightens.

Hawkeye stares at him for a moment in silence before he sweeps his arm to the three men currently occupying a table in the back corner, two with their tongues down each other's throats, the other holding one of their hands over the table. "Again, have you noticed? Where we are?"

"Forget it."

Before Beej can turn his head, Hawk catches him again, resting their foreheads together. "Beej, the only thing I'd ever do with that guy is tie him to a chair and make him watch how good you give it to me with your giant horse cock. I could not be less interested in anybody but you. What're you worried about?"

BJ still seems a bit distracted by the chair-tying idea. Well, it wouldn't be the first time Hawkeye awoke something within him. Finally BJ takes a deep breath and bumps their noses together affectionately before pulling back, and this time Hawk lets him. "You wanna know what I've really been thinking about while you were gone?"

"Absolutely." Hawk leans his head against BJ's while finding Blondie near the back of the bar.

"I'm thinking about taking him up on that bet," BJ murmurs.

"You serious? Betting on a pool game?"

BJ shrugs. His fingers wander up and down Hawk's spine in the way they often do when he's plotting, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Focus, Hawk, you can fuck him at home. "What're you gonna do that for? You could be sitting right here with me in your lap, but you wanna go over there and show off your machismo for cash we don't need?" It's a perfect excuse for him to grope BJ's ass. God, he looks good in these fucking pants. "Unless you're trying to tell me you left your wallet at home or something, and if so, I'm very interested in hearing all the dirty details of how you were planning on paying our tab."

"Spending money." He says it so casually that Hawkeye blinks at him. Beej glances his way for only a second. "For when we go to New York next week."

Amusement bursts in Hawk's chest like endless soda bubbles. "You wanna put our vacation money on the table on the slim chance that this guy isn't getting you steamed up so he can hustle you?"

"I could beat him," BJ mutters, voice stung.

Ah, his pride. It's not as easily bruised as it used to be but in moments like this when BJ can fully relax, put his hands all over Hawk if he wants, dance with him at the jukebox in front of everyone, it can open the door to his old hypercompetitive nature. Hawkeye keeps waiting for BJ to figure out that the best way to work all that tension off is simply bending him over the kitchen table and railing him until Hawk loses his voice from moaning like a bitch in heat, but they don't appear to be quite there yet. One day.

"I know you can." Hawk catches Beej's earlobe between his teeth and waits for the rough hum to bubble out of his lover's throat before he puts his arms around his neck and slowly rotates BJ to face him. "You are the cleverest, strongest, sexiest, brilliantest person I know. You've got a great eye." He waggles his eyebrows, smirking. "Amazingly talented hands." And though he can see BJ's still trying to pout, his cheeks are a lovely pink and his gaze has softened. "Okay, you know what? Do it, babe. Go kick his ass. We're gonna treat Sidney to a hell of a meal while we're up there."

BJ's lips twitch. He tries to hide it with that mustache of his, but unfortunately for him, Hawkeye knows his face better than his own now. "Well, if you're gonna insist like that..."

"However..." Hawkeye slides his fingers into Beej's silky hair, giving his scalp a tiny and affectionate scratch. "Just keep in mind that if you lose...I'm not blowing you for a week."

BJ whips his head up, brows rising. He flicks his gaze back and forth between Hawk's eyes like trying to guarantee his sincerity, but Hawk simply watches him with a coy smile, batting his lashes. "And what do I get if I win?"

Tingles ripple through Hawkeye. "I'll take you up to Lovers' Lane...and I'll ride you in the back seat."

Instantly BJ is more alert. "In my—"

"In your varsity jacket," Hawk agrees, nodding.

Beej opens his mouth, closes it, then speaks through what sounds like a strangled throat. "You said you thought you were gonna hit your head on the ceiling."

And he probably still will. He considers a helmet. Maybe just a little one. Something flat like a cushioned trash can lid. But for now, he shrugs, innocently wide-eyed. "What, you don't think your girl's flexible enough for you, Mr. Jock?"

In this moment, Hawkeye knows that he has guaranteed one of two options. The first is that BJ is fueled by passion and takes the win with ease. The second is that he'll be too hard to so much as focus.

It'll probably be fine.

"C'mon, Sir Beej," Hawk teases. "Do it for my honor or something, huh?"

BJ purses his lips and narrows his eyes in thought. Then he downs the rest of his beer and starts to step away. But at the last moment before he's out of reach, he catches Hawkeye's hand behind him. He sweeps into a low bow, then lifts Hawk's fingers to his lips and leaves a warm kiss on his knuckles that sears Hawk straight through like it's their first. "As you command, Princess."

Because he's a bastard, BJ saunters away with a certain spring in his step that has Hawk staring at his legs and chewing on his bottom lip, trying not to groan. Okay, well, he probably deserves the pain in the front of his trousers now too, that's completely fair. He keeps BJ in his sights at first, how he's smiling and laughing with Blondie—but Blondie's not familiar with how Beej's eyes glimmer in a very specific way when he's biting at the bit. That too is impossibly hot.

Hawkeye tells himself that he stays at the counter because if he goes anywhere near that pool table, BJ's gonna clock how hard he is and get too distracted to play well. But really if he's being honest, Hawk can admit it's because the view of BJ potentially leaning to take a difficult shot is way easier to see from here. Every time a couple or more block his view, Hawk's attention floats from the game to people watching to idly chatting with the bartender when he comes over to pour Hawkeye another beer. With the constant visual interruptions, it's hard to track how everything's going just from the placement of the balls on the felt, especially when both men are grinning, joking around with one another, just a little too steely-eyed—reading them isn't gonna help a bit.

He's in the middle of a full plot synopsis for My Fair Lady—Cockney demonstrations included—when a hand slaps down so hard on the bar next to him that he jumps away. "What the hell're you—" But then the hand lifts, revealing a truly impressive fat stack of cash, and Hawk gapes at it for a second before looking up at Beej.

There is a certain kind of smugness that BJ will wear where he's practically whistling everywhere he walks. It's in him now, the upturned lips, the way he cocks out his hip to an overdramatic degree as he leans into the counter, how fluidly his hands move when he folds up the money and puts it in his wallet for safe keeping, leaving a few more bills than he usually might on the bar.

Hawkeye glances over his shoulder but Blondie's nowhere to be seen. He elbows Beej and leans in close. "How'd it go? How bad was it? Did you have a hard time?"

BJ puts his arm around Hawk's waist. "He sunk two whole balls."

"You're kidding," Hawk breathes. BJ shakes his head. "How'd that happen? What the hell was he doing betting in the first place if he knew he was shit?"

"Oh, he wasn't shit. I told him that if he won, you were gonna suck him off in the alley after."

Hawkeye gasps, jaw dropping. "You did not," he breathes in delight.

"Sure did."

"What were you gonna do if you lost, then?"

The smugness floats to the surface once more as BJ cuts a glance toward Hawkeye, then rests his warm finger on his trachea. "I wasn't gonna lose. I told him aaaaall about how well you've trained your throat. He almost broke the cue in half from squeezing it so hard."

For a long moment Hawkeye simply gapes at him, trying to figure out where that fresh-faced, bright-eyed kid he met at an air base in Kimpo went if this naughty little jackass is left in his place. Fuck, why is it so hot when Beej struts his stuff like this? When the cockiness rolls off of him in waves? Suddenly Hawk starts chuckling, thick and low, and he cups the back of BJ's head and pulls him in to kiss him languidly, then hums out another laugh against his lips when he feels BJ digging his hands into Hawk's hips and ass like he's about to rip his pants off and fuck him right here. "You know what I've got in the car?"

BJ shakes his head, trying to catch his mouth again.

Hawk bobs around so he can put his lips to BJ's ear. "I'm gonna sit in the back seat while you drive us home. And I'm gonna take my pants off. And I'm gonna get myself ready for you. And you're gonna keep your eyes on the road and not get distracted because you know the sooner you get us there, the sooner you get to fuck me on the goddamn living room floor."

There are three seconds of silence while BJ processes this. And then he all but drags a cackling Hawkeye out of the bar.

[saucy-mesothelioma]

I wanted to compile a very short list of some of my favorite M*A*S*H scenes and why I love them so much. It's a long post, so everything will be under the cut

Winchester and the Pianist. Season 8, Episode 19, "Morale Victory":

This was the scene that made me truly fall in love with Charles's character. This was his third season on the show, and in my mind he was still "Frank's cooler replacement"- stuck up but not as insufferable. He had his moments of course, but none of them truly got to me like this scene. Stiers puts the perfect amount of subtle passion that Charles has for the fine arts and uses that to not only connect with Private Sheridan, but with the audience as well. Charles, with all of his haughtiness that was very prevalent in his earliest seasons, went beyond caring for Sheridan's physical injuries but also the blows to his sense of purpose. He sees a man with as much passion for the arts as him, and he's determined to show Private Sheridan how much he really is capable of. He wants to keep that passion alive in the face of hardship, and the look on his face when he sits back and listens to Private Sheridan play says it all. He's done more that repair a man in the literal sense, but he's also done so with a man's hope. It was the turning point that made me see Charles as not just Frank's replacement in matters of minor antagonism and subject of Hawkeye and BJ's antics, but truly as his own character with so much more to him.

Father Mulcahy's Interview. Season 4, Episode 24, "The Interview":

This story was based on something a real army doctor that served in a Korean M*A*S*H unit told the writers, and it's such a visceral picture that even rewatching it I have to just stop and take it all in. And it's just a fragment of the horrible conditions that the doctors, the soldiers, the locals, and pretty much anyone in the line of fire in Korea at the time had to deal with. This show might be a dramady showing some of the antics of a fictionalized army hospital, but this is one of those moments where the show really just pulls you into the stark reminder that not everything they talk about or show in this series is fake. Despite all of the jokes and slapstick, at its core M*A*S*H is an anti-war commentary and it makes no attempts to hide it. This episode just happened to be one of the earlier instances where the majority of the comedy was removed in favor of really highlighting the brutality of war. Scenes like this cut deep, and that's exactly what they're supposed to do.

Sometimes You Hear The Bullet. Season 1, Episode 17, "Sometimes You Hear The Bullet":

I'm not afraid to admit that this scene made me cry. Not a full-out cry, but the kind that hits you so hard that you barely even register the fact that you're crying until you're already doing it. Even now I'm having trouble conveying how this scene makes me feel into words. It's another one of those scenes that holds nothing back when it comes to the message that war is a taker of so many lives, and it doesn't discriminate with its victims. Hawkeye's frustration with his disassociation with the deaths of his patients is just heart-wrenching, especially since it's something he essentially has to do because it's his job: "I've watched guys die almost every day. Why didn't I ever cry for them?". You can tell that it's not only the death of his friend that's affecting him, it's the fact that his job has forced him to distance himself to the idea that the people he operates on every day are people with lives, hopes, and dreams. When he's confronted with the death of a friend who died just as so many soldiers before him, Hawkeye is reminded of the fact that the soldiers suffering from unimaginable injuries that he operates on every day were just like him. It's a realization that I couldn't possibly fathom dealing with, and yet it's one that Hawkeye has to deal with every time he's in the operating room.

Through the Wisecracks. Season 11, Episode 5, "Who Knew?":

This episode is the one that hits me hard the most. I think what gets me about this episode is how it reminds me of the people in war who remain forgotten: the nameless soldiers, locals, surgeons, company clerks, and many others. And I think that's the point. We never see Millie. She is a faceless character who we know little to nothing about, and the people at the 4077th know little to nothing about her either. It's only when Hawkeye puts in the effort to learn about her and to read her diary, that Millie is given substance. We learn as Hawkeye learns, and it hurts for both him and the viewer. She almost went forgotten, just another casualty among a million other causalities, but someone took the time to remember her, and that's more than can be said about so many who died in war. Another thing that gets be about this episode is the same lesson Hawkeye learns: to care about each other and let the people you love know you care, because someday it might be too late for that. Millie was too shy to get close to anyone at the 4077th, so Hawkeye never knew that she cared about him until it was too late. Hawkeye reflects on how he hides behind his jokes, and we can see other examples of characters on the show doing the same thing such as Margaret hiding behind her military correctness and Charles behind his haughtiness. But Hawkeye refuses to hide behind his jokes during this moment and tells his friends just how much he cares for them. He knows that especially in their circumstance, the people that he grew to love in the 4077th could be dead tomorrow. So he decides he won't go a second longer without letting them know how much they mean to him. He ensures that not only Millie won't be forgotten, but neither will his friends.

[majorbaby]

commander pierce is a low point for MASH, my personal least favourite episode and here's why:

Regardless of your position on the framing, which i'll get to later, the writing is weak.

It sets Potter up as being a competent, strong leader and Hawkeye learn that being in charge of the base isn't as easy as it looks (which makes no sense for Hawkeye but again, I'll come to that) but then when we cut to Potter at the very important conference he's meant to be attending with some other army brass, we see them getting drunk and later on, just chilling together. He only gets up to leave said conference when he catches Radar's drift that the camp is falling apart without him - we're to assume he would've just continued fucking around until whenever he felt like returning.

These scenes align well with MASH's earlier anti-establishment beat, but it doesn't fit in this pro-establishment episode. Is Potter a responsible leader who is simply misunderstood by the rebellious, immature Hawkeye, or is Potter shirking his duties while the camp suffers? Both, it would seem.

I enjoy Margaret's little mock-salute to Hawkeye because 1) he wouldn't care to be properly saluted (except ?? this episode seems to want me to believe otherwise lol) 2) when are you ever going to see her do a mock-salute otherwise.

But here's the thing, I dislike when this show muddles Hawkeye's distaste for the military with Hawkeye's misogyny. Hawkeye can be anti-establishment and even give her (and other pro-army characters) a hard time without going so far as to sexually harass her. Frank Burns was invaluable as that other "pro-army character", taking the brunt of Hawkeye and Trapper's ire.

Speaking of Frank (affectionate), in addition to saluting him, Margaret adds mockingly, "If only Frank Burns could see you now". He can't, because this episode can't achieve its goal if Frank is there to either applaud Hawkeye's efforts or laugh as he struggles. It would kill the episode's suggestion to the audience that military leadership is admirable or desirable.

BJ's "I don't know Commander Pierce! And I don't know if I want to!" makes me roll my eyes hardcore. I'm not sure if he's annoyed at how Hawkeye is acting or if he's annoyed specifically that he's being a bad leader. Seems like a little bit of both, but my read on BJ based on how he's written thus far and going forward is that it's more likely his pride is hurt when Hawkeye yells at him.

On that note, I could maybe buy that because Hawkeye is so stressed out, he accuses BJ of trying to "play hero" but I don't genuinely believe that Hawkeye's opinion of BJ could be so low or that he doesn't see how BJ dropping everything to save a life isn't, as BJ says, exactly what Hawkeye would've done in his shoes. We've watched Hawkeye do that on multiple occasions.

Or at least if Hawkeye is to be upset at BJ, then let it be for a believable reason, like, hey, BJ, what about all these other patients that came in after you left (altho even then, Radar points out that BJ couldn't have known it would happen), hey BJ, we lost 10 other guys while you were out saving one.

Instead, incredibly, Hawkeye complains that BJ left him holding the bag, and later that he undermined his authority. Generally I'm left with the impression that Hawkeye is at least a little upset that BJ thinks he didn't do a good job as a CO, when Hawkeye didn't even care for the title "Chief Surgeon" at one point, which more accurately describes his role at the camp and could very well describe a role he might eventually have as a civilian someday. To say nothing of s03e03 Officer of the Day which is the episode you should watch if you want to see Hawkeye Pierce in charge instead of a guy who only looks like Hawkeye Pierce in charge.

I said I would come to the framing: it sucks! I guess if you want to see Hawkeye give a shit about having military authority, this episode is for you, but it's hard for me to imagine that any audience member was holding their breath waiting for it to happen.

[soullesscinders]

Hawkeye, oh, Hawkeye. (Remake)

"We're gonna lose him, Beej, I don't wanna lose him." Doctor Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce mumbles in his sleep, a moment before waking with a cold start, drenched in sweat, sitting bolt upright in bed.

He looks around his room, grounding himself, trying to calm his racing heart. He's home, in Maine. He left Korea five years ago, and it doesn't seem that Korea left him. Probably never will.

Three years' worth of meatball surgery, ripped sinew and tissue and somehow, miraculously, making it whole again in the bodies of glorified children, who's biggest worries should have been the girls in their hometowns.

Removing enough metal out of kids half his age to build a Studebaker, enough lead to poison a horse.

No matter how many years he spends home, treating common colds, flu, mumps, measles, warts… Mundane illnesses and conditions he used to yearn for, part of him will always be stuck in Korea.

Hawkeye, is stuck in Korea.

But, part of him came home, too.

The part that remembers.

The part that woke up every day, missing his home. The part that was stuck in survival mode for three years straight.

The part that has nightmares every night. The part that won't respond to BJ's incessant letters.

He wants to forget Korea. God knows he's tried.

But he can't. It sticks to him like a plague, like a monster made of bone and tissue.

He's a doctor, a surgeon. Very few people call him Hawkeye.

His dad does.

He flinches every time.

It was more subtle, when he first arrived home, after almost a week straight in different transports, each moment another mile closer to home.

He merely closed his eyes, and sighed.

Now, though… It's almost violent, and immediately throws him back into the chaos of the operating room, trying desperately to save the children that the Chinese and the North Koreans have done their very best in turning into ribbon-

"Hawkeye!" His father calls. Ben flinches, coming out of the memories.

"What, dad?"

"Can ya pass the salt?" Dr. Daniel Pierce, Hawkeye's father, asks.

Hawkeye nods. "Y-Yeah, sorry, dad." He mutters, looking back at his nearly untouched plate. Succotash and mashed potatoes with a pork chop.

Even the meals sometimes remind him of Korea.

"Y'okay, kiddo?" His father asks. Hawkeye just nods, deep in thought.

"Yeah-" He thinks better of it, than lying to his father. "Actually, no. Could you stop callin' me Hawkeye?"

Dr. Daniel Pierce just looks at his son.

"B-But I've always-" He starts, but Ben cuts him off.

"Yeah, I know, dad, I just- I don't wanna be Hawkeye anymore. It's- It's too much, reminds me of…" He trails off. His father knows all too well, the hell his son suffered in Korea.

"I understand, Hawk- Ben. I understand. Sorry, I'll stop callin' you Hawkeye."

Ben nods. At peace, almost.

He doesn't hear the nickname again until nearly a year later, on his way to work at a nearby Maine medical center.

"Hawkeye?" It's BJ. Ben's lack of responding to his letters have lead BJ to flying across the country from Mill Valley, CA, to visit his best friend. Former best friend.

Ben freezes, eyes widening.

"Hawk, it's me, it's BJ- I- I thought the worst happened to y-" Ben cuts him off.

"You need to leave." His tone is cold, unfeeling, shielding the torrent of emotion and panic and fear and-

"But Hawkey-" BJ tries again. Hawkeye whirls on him.

"I'm not him! Stop calling me that!" He shouts, ignoring that they're in the middle of a city. Ben is angry. Angry that BJ had the audacity to come all this way, lecture him about not answering letters, talk to him, reminisce on the worst years of his life and expect them both to just be hunky dory and okay.

But Ben is far from okay.

"Let it go! Let Korea stay in the rearview! You said goodbye, with the rocks and the helicopter pad, and the- and the chopper, and that god awful motorcycle of yours! We said goodbye and I fucking meant it!" He hollers, stalking close to BJ. BJ hardens.

"Well, sue me for coming and checking on you, Hawk. I thought somethin' happened to you." BJ bites. "I told you I'd see you once we were back stateside, I wanted to see my best friend Hawkeye."

Ben laughs, but there's no humor in it.

"You wanted to see Hawkeye, is that it?"

BJ nods, his face a maelstrom of… unreadable, horrid emotions and uncertainty.

"Hawkeye doesn't exist anymore. I'm not the same guy I was in Korea, Beej. I'm not Hawkeye anymore. I can't go back to reminiscing on what we did in the 4077th. I can't. Because that was three years' worth of I don't even have the words to decribe the horror, and I have no interest in looking back on it. Not those kids we stitched together. Not those Colonels and Generals and Majors we dealt with. We were two dudes in an impossible situation, stitching kids back up who's biggest worry should have been their first kiss, and we got to cut their legs off. Call their times of death. Pull enough fuckin' lead outta some of them to poison a small army. The North Koreans and the Chinese and the Army and all of it, brought you and I into that together, and all I can fuckin' do about it, is leave it behind me." Ben snaps, and stomps away.

BJ doesn't know what to do about this. Any of this.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he's not Hawkeye. Maybe he never was. Maybe he is Hawkeye, and always has been.

One thing is for certain, that while Ben made it out of Korea, he'd do his best to make sure that Hawkeye stayed there. No matter how many times it takes for him to flinch when someone calls him by the nickname from The Last of the Mohicans.

Ben left Korea.

But you can bet, that Korea won't ever leave him.

[seefasters]

oh also I know I've already talked soooo much (more than i expected to!!) but re: that moment I talked about in The Bus. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm implying BJ is bigoted or uncaring about bigotry. I just thought that that interaction was interesting cus it highlights BJ as more socially motivated and Hawk is more ideologically driven. BJ clearly sees mocking Frank as a communal exercise and actively baits him with an antisemetic comment to invite further mockery. It's also a bit of posturing. BJ is still new, hes trying to demonstrate to Hawkeye that he is rejecting Frank and Frank's attitudes- again its a bonding exercise. But its also kind of implicitly predicated on his position as a nonjewish, very all-american seeming dude. In a way its almost two faced- anyone with a brain would notice that its a joke at Frank's expense, but Frank himself thinks he's being bonded with. To Frank, BJ's ironic racism is indistinguishable from actual, earnest racism. Hawkeye no-sells the whole thing tho. He makes his snarky little comments but he seems to draw the line at actually entertaining actively racist talking points, even in an ironic or mocking way. Idk if its the situation or the attitudes expressed that exhaust him so much in this instance but again its a pretty interesting parallel. (also for a similar scenario that I think demonstrates similar character things but shows Hawkeye in a less flattering light and BJ as more correct- that one episode where charles is super angry that honoria is marrying an italian.BJ flips out at Hawk and Charles for bickering at night about it- Charles for his "bigotry" and Hawk for his "sanctimony". I feel like BJ is correct in this instance to question Hawkeye's motivations in this instance cus its p obvious he's just like. in alcohol withdrawal and looking for anything to fight about.) sorry a million words on a very tiny interaction but im thinking about it a lot- sometimes mash is super deft in its subtle character writing

i'm sorry i don't have anything more substantial to add other than 'i agree' but you honestly said it all perfectly

i think mash shines in those subtle character moments and it's really cool that this particular one comes really early in BJ's time on the show bc you very quickly understand him as a person and also it gives you a glimpse into the more chaotic prankster side of BJ we see in the later seasons

[mylittleredgirl]

finally, m*a*s*h update!

season four disc two! ("quo vadis, captain chandler" to "dear ma")

there is a LOT going on in the frank and margaret department

i kind of tipped my hand here when i posted about my new obsession, but even if you are not circling the drain on this doomed ship... the Unresolved Breakup Tension is fuckin WILD in this disc

she literally punches him in the face!!! how was that not a breakup!

but then he buys her something or does something to charm or impress her, and it works! then he blows it again!! rinse and repeat!!!! i am 👀🍿

sam and diane from cheers are still theeee platonic ideal of slap-slap-kiss but these clowns definitely walked so they could run

i literally jumped off the couch when his wife found out, aaaaa it's so juicy

I'M SORRY i realize this doesn't speak well of me as a person, but those long close-ups on her face as she voluntarily eavesdrops on him dismissing their relationship (twice!!) and her heart gets fully crushed??? i could eat popcorn to this all day.

this is the kind of dysfunctional relationship that my artist friends would choose in our youth so that we could Suffer and Make Art, so i really hope margaret is writing terrible poetry about it

anyway, we're peroxide-roots deep into GIRL WHY??!??

and then bj very gently explains to radar that well, see, frank and margaret both kinda suck and we're in the middle of nowhere, so they're all they've got

and i had to spend three or four days staring at the ceiling about it, because YEAH. it's not just that they're each other's only rank-appropriate source of star-spangled orgasms

(and they both care far more about military hierarchy than they do about marital fidelity)

but they are so consistently unkind to everyone around them that they have no other choice for any human connection full stop.

i'm not even talking about their ongoing bullying war with hawkeye and trapper or bj, because that's dirty pool on both sides, but i could count on one hand the number of times either of them have interacted with a subordinate nurse or enlisted man without threatening them. like they literally would not have anyone else to talk to.

but the reveal that she still wants to MARRY HIM? oh god. ohhhh honey. noooo.

that fake proposal prank was so genuinely mean. mostly because they ruined her hot date! 👏 let 👏 margaret 👏 fuck 👏 random 👏 dudes 👏

"isn't general barker the one who wanted you to spank him?" lmaoooo

OKAY i swear i can talk about other things:

hawkeye continues to just NOT pull without trapper here. the nurses are fully dismissing or ignoring his efforts, and honestly is he even trying that hard?? have we seen him get even one date?

i've been trying to come up with an "intricate rituals" joke about hawkeye and trapper but where the rituals are... girls. you get me.

i re-watched the pilot and the desk ep (for frank/margaret reasons DON'T JUDGE ME), and hawkeye and trapper LITERALLY end the pilot handcuffed together, and in the next episode talk about sharing a nurse. how am i supposed to take this???

speaking of nurses, you know that little 🙄 you have to ignore in 2024 whenever the women on m*a*s*h get called honey and sweetheart and baby on the job (though tbh i worked on a construction site and an ad sales office in the 2010's and got the same treatment -- but in the modern day it's done ironically babe)

BUT when potter calls margaret "good girl" after he gets shot??? total opposite feeling. i literally had to pause and take a moment. he's her dad now.

also when he tucks radar in???? everyone's dad actually

in loving memory of radar's other dad though, two important points:

how proud would henry have been of drunk & disorderly radar??

and henry's "i've always wondered if i might be radar's dad" bit is genuinely 900% funnier now that we know radar's mom looks EXACTLY like him.

i don't think i have ever circled back to talk about klinger, who became so so so awesome

it's so funny that in klinger's very first appearance and 30 times since then, he has been told straight up that wearing women's clothes will never work to get him out of the army. there's no explanation for his commitment to this particular form of passive resistance except that he genuinely loves it

the swamp rats built a still and klinger got a sewing machine and learned a craft. he's so good at it!! his looks are 🔥

i feel uncomfortable when i see him in fatigues tbh. it happened a few times in this disc and i would like it to Stop actually

also precious baby father mulcahey... Protect Him.

i LOVE that everyone showed up for his church service when the grand poobah chaplain was in town. they love each other!!! (also the life magazine jeep shoot!!!)

"quo vadis, captain chandler" was really good. i'm still over colonel flagg's whole deal but i now understand why everyone loves sidney freedman, and the guest actor they had playing not-jesus was incredible

bj continues to be the best little brother hawkeye could have asked for

also he maybe invented cpr?

i didn't say much about him here but I LOVE HIM and also his off-screen wife

forward and onward!!!

[serpercival]

HIIII percy

my insane request: beejtraphawk, 32 (a kiss while someone watches)

You say insane like this isn't something I'm thinking about 24/7 with only time off for the holidays

Fairly explicit material under the cut <3

beejtraphawk + a kiss while someone watches

It didn’t seem like there was much of a point to climbing into BJ’s lap to practically kiss off his mustache if Hawkeye wasn’t even going to look.

Well, there was a point. It was that it felt nice, and clearly it felt nice for BJ, with the little gasp Trapper got out of him when he spread his legs further and brought their pelvises flush. He adjusted his grip on the back of the old, gray-upholstered couch so he had enough leverage to grind down. A weak moan was enough of an excuse for Trapper to thread his tongue into BJ’s mouth, then pull back and suck on his bottom lip for a moment before he glanced over at the armchair.

Hawkeye was still fucking knitting.

BJ frowned. “You alright, Hawk?”

Hawkeye looked up. He stood and walked over to the couch, eyes barely brushing over any of the ridiculous number of places where Trapper and BJ were touching. Instead, he picked up Trapper’s reading glasses from where he’d tossed them on the couch cushion, neatly folded them, and put them on the side table. “You’ll break those.”

“Gonna break you if you don’t start appreciating this,” Trapper complained. With the way BJ had started grinding against him, it was too breathy to be a proper complaint. “What’s the point of putin’ on a show if I don’t got an audience?”

“Oh, somebody’s taking top billing?” BJ said. Trapper shifted, threatening to take his weight off, and BJ grabbed his hips to pull him back down. Trapper had to bite his lip not to moan out loud. “And why’s that?”

“Because I’m on top,” Trapper snarked back. He bent in to press another kiss into BJ’s mouth, nuzzling up against his mustache. “And because you ain’t got a membership to the perverts’ club.”

“And who’s fault is that? I’ve got two perfectly good sponsors right here, and yet neither one of you has written me a letter of recommendation.”

The clack of Hawkeye’s knitting needles started back up. BJ groaned, a frustrated little sound rather than anything from the pressure Trapper had put back on his pelvis at that exact moment.

Trapper squinted over at Hawkeye. A longer look. He wasn’t actually knitting. He was sitting there, making little noises with the needles, the sweater or whatever it was he was making draped in just the right way over his lap.

“What the fuck are you doin’?” Trapper asked.

Hawkeye looked up, eyes wide. “What?”

“If you’re enjoyin’ yourself so much,” he ground down against BJ again, more forcefully, pulling a proper groan out of him, “then why don’t you get the hell over here?”

Hawkeye blushed, redder than the wine-dark yarn in his lap. “You two crazy kids are having plenty of fun without me.”

“Sure,” BJ said. Trapper took the opportunity to mouth at his neck and BJ wrang a hand into his curls, gasping. “But it’s better with you.”

Trapper whacked him in the side. “Rude.”

“I’m just saying!”

Hawkeye shimmied further into the armchair, drawing his feet up. “Look, I appreciate it, but this is nice. It’s just– you never used to–” he sighed and shook his head, and Trapper pulled away from BJ’s neck so both of them could actually pay attention. “Sometimes it’s nice to know we’ve come so far, you know? The first… year, maybe year and a half, you never would have tried to make me jealous with each other. I always had to do that kind of thing.”

BJ and Trapper looked at each other. It was one of those quickfire exchanges Trapper had always been able to do with Hawkeye, that BJ had always been able to do with Hawkeye, and that they’d only recently been able to do with each other.

BJ took point, and Trapper bent back down to lick a long stripe along his jawbone before going back to attacking his neck. “You’re enjoying the domesticity of the fact that your boyfriends can fuck without you participating.”

Hawkeye curled his knees tighter to his body and nodded.

“You could at least do us the dignity of watching, then.”

Trapper started sucking a hickey right into the place where BJ’s shoulder and his neck joined. There was a shuffling sound as Hawkeye tucked away his knitting, then a clink as he stretched his legs out and unbuckled his pants.

“Put on a show for your prince, then,” Hawkeye declared, folding his hands over his stomach.

BJ laughed, tightened his fingers in Trapper’s hair, and dragged him up for another kiss.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Wheelers and Dealers is one of BJ's least sympathetic breakdowns--not only to me, but to the other characters in-universe--but it's also probably the episode that most effectively explains his whole deal. That's because Wheelers and Dealers reveals a new piece of backstory: BJ had the chance to dodge the draft. Hawkeye jokes about being an unsuccessful draft dodger and Klinger talks about his various attempts, but BJ had what neither of them did: an actual, for real ticket out.

I could've gotten out of the draft, like Ned Gradinger. Big all American hero from Stanford. Medical deferment, signed by that eminent physician Ned Gradinger, Sr., who offered the same to me, but I was a good guy.

Within this episode, this new detail explains why BJ feels so intensely guilty about his family struggling in his absence. It also explains his anger that people like him because of his "good guy" personality. One level to that is the fear that if he does something selfish or less than good no one will like him anymore. But I think that's secondary to something else:

Everybody wants to play when it's lovable Doc Hunnicutt, gentleman loser. But let me win a few, it's like I committed a crime.

If BJ had "won one" by dodging the draft, he would have committed a crime. I think that's what he's speaking to, here, more than a fear of losing people by expressing human failings. After all, he does express human failings all the time, and he's hardly ever blamed for them. Now, the continuity on MASH is loose at best, so I don't for a moment imagine the writers planned this bit of lore from BJ's introduction, or that intended it to apply retroactively. But let's do that anyway.

What sets BJ apart from Hawkeye and Trapper and even to some extent from other characters is a certain respect for the rules and faith in the institutions of American life. It makes sense for someone from a more comfortable, middle class background to have that attitude. It's why Margaret and Frank set their sights on him initially. Of course, this aspect of BJ is deconstructed as he comes face to face with war and with rules that are transparently arbitrary or even morally wrong. But he really digs in his heels. Just look at Preventative Medicine, where he rigidly adheres to a code of medical ethics and a definition of "harm" that feels almost absurd in a war zone. (Can an army surgeon "do no harm?" Ask Hawkeye in Letters or BJ in Bombshells.)

Of course, this makes a lot more sense when you put it in the context of BJ being drafted because he strictly adhered to the rules, to a rigid idea of right and wrong. Of course BJ clings to the rules; he desperately needs to believe they mean something. If the rules don't matter, if right and wrong aren't so simple, he allowed himself to be drafted for nothing. He allowed himself to be taken from his family, to be made into a soldier, to witness some of the worst things a human being can witness, to get used to the horror, to do things he would never otherwise do, because he believed he was doing the right thing. If doing the right thing doesn't mean anything, he let all that happen for no reason at all. That's a hell of a thing to come to terms with.

Now, what's the big moral argument against draft dodging, if you don't believe in serving your country? If you don't go, someone else will have to go in your place. Now look at Period of Adjustment.

Radar's home, Hawk. I should be glad for him. But I'm not! I'm so torn up with envy, I almost hate him! And I feel the same way about Trapper, and I never even met him.

BJ hates them for being home when he's not. Invoking Trapper here is powerful, because on a meta level and to some extent in-universe, BJ is literally there because Trapper is not. If BJ had taken the draft dodge, someone else would be suffering over here. If he'd won one, he'd have condemned someone else to that fate. Is that some kind of crime, not legally, but morally? Here, BJ is on the other side. Trapper and Radar won a hand: they got to go home. BJ is trying to be lovable Doc Hunnicutt, happy for their good fortune, gracefully accepting that he has to stay. But for once he can't quite do it. This is also one of the only times in the series we see someone really, furiously envious about another character going home, which isn't really relevant here but I thought it was interesting enough to highlight. This fits with how I've described Period of Adjustment from BJ's perspective before, as a shattering of the illusion they all use to get through each day.

Essentially, BJ clings desperately to the rules because all the worst things that have happened to him are things he accepted as consequences of doing the right thing. He accepted them naively, the war is worse than he could have imagined, and the possibility that on top of that, his reason for accepting them was meaningless is kind of unbearable.

[onekisstotakewithme]

Tell People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

tagged by the creator of this game, @mihrsuri, and will in turn say 'anyone who wants to, feel free' but specifically of the westie besties Lil didn't tag, I'm yelling at @claudiajcregg 💜 I've been agonizing over having nothing to publish for ages now 😭

Currently Active:

Close to the Heart, aka MASH noir AU where Hawkeye is still a doctor, and Peg comes to him wanting him to kill her husband.

the west wing post-canon wedding: CJ and Danny try and make it work after CJ decides to stay in the WH, can't make it work, break up... all of which is backstory to the two of them reuniting at Charlie and Zoey's wedding a few months later... and going from there

the "BJ accidentally follows Hawkeye to a gay meet up, learns some things" WIP that I have been agonizing over.

the valentine's day tww discord prompt fulfillment (I know I'm not in the discord but humour me, i did the christmas exchange) that starts during "Manchester".

Things that Should be Active (but Aren't)

the prompt fulfillment for the Josh/Donna Rom-Com exchange in which I Romcomify "Inauguration: Over There" (I have words written for it, but not many. that was a busy week lol.)

President!CJ - you know the drill. I keep calling it president!CJ but the actual name should be "CJ runs for President and Ally rambles her ass off trying to make it happen". Anyone looking for a full time volunteer job as my research assistant to make this story happy, apply within.

The Requiem First Time Smut - it's six thousand words long and contains only one orgasm so far. aka the wednesday night where CJ shows up and they 'don't reallly talk' (except nobody is naked yet because they can't stop fucking talking!)

Random WIPs that can't even be considered in the same realm as active, yes i'm as annoyed about it as everyone else.

tww plane crash au - on the way back from a summit in Japan, AF1 crashes on a small island in the South Pacific. This project is my baby but alas. Featuring bioluminescence, sex cabanas and copious amounts of Repentance.

sperm donor AU - canon divergent in s5 of tww, after slow news day et al, where CJ starts seriously thinking about her life post-administration... and having a kid. Coincidentally, Danny comes back into her life around the same time.

mash triad ski au - BJ and Peg go on vacation over Christmas of 1998, and meet another skiier when they all get trapped on a chair lift together 😉

triad wedding - I include this on every list (sigh) just because a whole draft exists, it just needs to be burned to the ground, chopped up with a machete and started from scratch and I burned out hard wriitng draft one. Anyway, final part of the first "arc" of Home verse. BJ, Peg and Hawkeye get 'married'.

Ambassador Spock - genuinely don't think I've touched this since 2021 but. Kirk is still captain of the Enterprise, charged with bringing the Vulcan ambassadors (Sarek and his son Spock) to a summit, "Journey to Babel" style only with more Spirk.

[wild-lavender-rose]

Hi! If requests are open, i'd like a HawkeyePierceXgn/f!reader where they're a doctor too and friends with bj and hawk. They flirt EVERYWHERE (everyone is sick of it and wishes they would admit their feelings). Reader is worried he won't turn from his player ways. They argue and both get upset and mopey. Bj locks them somewhere until they'll talk again. They confess their feelings. They get together and still flirt and bj almost regrets setting them up. Only write if you're interested of course!

It's so crazy that this has been in my inbox for over a year and I still haven't responded :/ my sincerest apologies, anon. Here is the answer to your request, I wanted to do a kind of mini-series in order to do such a detailed storyline justice :)

Part 1-

You were in line to get food in the mess tent when you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind and pull you close. "Freeze, this is a hold up. You've been charged with simultaneous beauty and intelligence."

"Guilty as charged, officer." You look over your shoulder to smile up at Hawkeye holding you from behind. "You gonna arrest me?"

"I'm gonna arrest both of you and put you in separate cells to cool off." B.J. groaned as he grabbed a metal food tray and cut into line in front of you.

"Ignore the warden, he left his funny bone back in the O.R.." Hawkeye gave your waist a squeeze before letting go, the gesture leaving your heart stuttering.

"We all did." Margaret brushed past you to refill her coffee cup. "Can't you two just grow up and go out?"

"I'm waiting for the right time." Hawkeye said, grimacing at the slop the cook dropped onto his tray.

Your fluttering heart gave a painful twist. Would it ever be the right time? And if it was, and Hawkeye did ask, would you say yes? You glanced over at a table of nurses chattering together. It was no secret that Hawkeye had been out with most of them. You and him were too close. If Hawkeye played you like all the others it would ruin the friendship you had established long before the moment you realized you were in love with him. And that was too precious a thing to endanger, especially in the middle of a war.

"Ya' want gravy?" The cook asked.

"No thanks," you set your empty tray down. "I've lost my appetite."

Part 2-

You were playing cards with B.J. when Hawkeye walked into the Swamp, humming to himself as he regarded the two of you. "Evening, ladies and gents."

"Evening." B.J. returned. You were silent, focusing on your cards even as Hawkeye burst into song.

"Oh what a beautiful night, a beautiful night, a beautiful night for romance!" He danced over to you, holding out a hand. "Dance with me."

"Not tonight." You smacked a card down. "Your turn, Beej."

"Oh come on. The night is young, the girls are pretty, and I am in the mood-"

"Not tonight, Hawk." You repeated.

Hawkeye stopped dancing, his brow furrowed.

"You heard her, Hawk." B.J. placed his card on top of hers. "Even though I don't believe her myself."

"Go find another girl to lead on." You snapped, regretting it the moment it left your mouth.

"What? Is this because of my date with Nurse Foster last week?"

"No, it's not because of Foster or Smith or Julia or Helen," you smacked a card down so hard it fell off the table. "Why should I care about the girls you go out with?!"

"Sweetheart, I don't understand,"

"Stop calling me sweetheart, Doctor Pierce." You got up and threw the rest of the cards down. "I forfeit, B.J. I'm going to bed."

"Hey, wait." Hawkeye grabbed your arm. "What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing." You pulled your arm away, tears stinging your eyes. "Just leave me alone."

And with that you walked out of the Swamp, letting the door swing shut hard behind you.

Part 3-

"But why can't you get them?" You groaned as you walked into the dark supply closet.

"I have to help Radar with his ripped teddy bear." B.J. gave you a pouting face. "You wouldn't want him to be sitting in agony any longer than he has to, would you?"

"Who, Radar or the bear?" You rolled your eyes but gave him a smile. "You owe me."

"Thank you." B.J. grinned as he closed the supply closet door.

You sighed as you consulted the list of supplies on the clipboard in your hand. This was going to take forever.

You had barely started when someone else opened the door. "Hey, Beej, can't we just meet in the Swamp?"

You froze. Hawkeye. You hadn't spoken to him since the night you stormed out of the Swamp.

"Afraid not, Hawk." B.J. stepped back with a grin. "You'll thank me for this later."

And with that, B.J. closed the door and locked it, trapping you and Hawkeye inside. Together.

"B.J.?!" You dropped your clipboard and brushed past Hawkeye. "B.J.!" You banged on the door. "This isn't funny, Beej. Let me out!"

There was no response. You gave the door handle a vicious twist, then kicked the door hard. "Shit, B.J.! I don't want to talk to him."

"Maybe he wants to talk to you." Hawkeye offered.

You tensed, keeping your back to him. "I don't want to do this. Just...just leave me alone."

"Sweetheart,"

"Don't call me that."

"Listen," Hawkeye took you by the shoulders and turned you around to face him. "This is ridiculous. We're surrounded by a hell hole of ridiculousness, the last thing I want is to have any extra ridiculousness between us."

You stared up at him, wanting so badly to just tell him your feelings. But you couldn't, it wasn't worth the price of friendship. But the anger you felt was costing you your friendship as well.

You shook your head, eyes filling with tears. "I can't keep doing this." You hid your face in your hands. "I can't."

Hawkeye whispered your name, drawing you against him. You buried your head into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist as if he was the only thing keeping you upright. Because he was. Hawkeye was your lifeline in this war, and you loved him.

"I love you." He whispered.

Your head jerked up. "What?"

"I love you." Hawkeye's blue eyes glistened with tears as he brushed yours away. "I love you more than anything."

"But, the other nurses."

"I haven't gone out with them for months."

"What?? But the flirting, Nurse Foster,"

"Honey, they don't even want to go out with anymore. Apparently I'm no fun when I'm in love with someone else."

"Hawk." Your mouth opened in shock, followed by a slow smile. "Hawkeye,"

"Can I kiss you?"

You responded by kissing him long and hard, not even noticing the chorus of whistles and applause from the other side of the supply closet door. You would be annoyed at B.J. and everyone else who had put together this scheme. But for now, it was just you and Hawkeye.

Part 4-

You were in line for breakfast when you felt a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap around your waist.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Hawkeye smiled as he kissed you. "What're your plans on this beautiful morning in the pit of hell?"

"I've got post-op duty with B.J. in an hour." You kissed him again before returning your attention to the cook plopping foreign substances on your tray, loving the way Hawkeye kept an arm firmly around your waist. "You?"

"I'm going to be making a certain B.J. Hunnicutt very happy within the next hour."

"Oh yeah? Why?"

"I'm going to trade post-op shifts with him. Spend a little quality time with the woman of my dreams." Hawkeye grabbed a tray and gave it a twirl, making you smile.

"I wish B.J. had never gotten you two together." Margaret grumbled, refilling her coffee cup with a scowl. "You two are worse than before!"

"I'm afraid it's only going to get worse, Margaret." You fiddled with the emerald engagement ring Hawkeye had gotten you from Tokyo, loving the way it sparkled in the sunlight.

"I love you, sweetheart." Hawkeye whispered, kissing the side of your head.

"I love you, Hawk." You whispered back.

I no longer do tag lists. Follow and turn on notifs to see more.

[caffiene-fueled-fuckery]

omg ok sorry for sending in another one of these but i had an idea and i would love to hear your thoughts! (i also loved the drabble you wrote it was so sweet)

what are your headcanons for father mulcahy specifically on his childhood in philadelphia 👀

Okay so the info we're given about his past in the show isn't 100% clear but I have lots of thoughts so...

-I think it's canon that he had a large family growing up? He mentions having to share a bed with his brothers and he writes to his sister, the sister. I'm not sure if we're ever told, but I like to think that Mulcahy was the oldest sibling.

-His parents both drank, which likely put a lot of strain on his relationship with them, especially when they were angry. As the oldest he probably tried to shield his siblings, but as he told that one boxer, he was an easy target. He was small and meek so he was probably also an easy target for his parents as well. Idk if they were abusive, but I definitely wouldn't be surprised.

-Since he had to share a bed with his brothers, its likely that his family was poor. And being poor in a city like Philly probably meant not living in a great area. Hence why he was likely even more of a target to the neighbourhood kids in a rough neighbourhood. Food would be another issue, and I feel like not getting enough food or good food might have been the reason he was so small. I mean he's not small in the show, he just looks short compared to the monsters that are Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles. But idk he gives me smol vibes (affectionately, as if he couldn't knock me out with one punch).

-Mulcahy always seems to be hanging around in the background most of the time, at least in earlier seasons before he really gets close to anyone else. He doesn't draw attention to himself and he seems sort of shy. It makes me wonder if that has to do with being the target of bullying as a kid or if it had something to do with abuse, or if it was part of being in a big family... He just sort of blends in a lot and I like to think that's intentional. Although it could also be because he's trying to do good things and be a support to people without being super obvious? But in general I just think he's shy.

-This kinda goes with the last point but Mulcahy seems to have some self-worth issues. I'm sure a lot of it comes from the pressure of being the Chaplain but he never seems to think he's good enough. And I can't help but feel like that comes from a troubled childhood with neglectful and/or abusive parents. Maybe this is just my inner psych student overthinking though.

My God I have so many more thoughts on this man. I typed this out and idk if it even makes any sense. I can definitely make this much more cohesive later and actually make sense (hopefully) but I felt bad that it took me so long to reply to your ask so... yeah. These are my messily articulated thoughts. I'd love to hear yours!

[remyfire]

hi remy!! another 🎲 for beejhawk perhaps? lol :-)

(FINALLY GETTING BACK TO THESE a little at a time, please forgive me for the wait!

You get! A kiss on the nose! Have some post-war established forties-something men because I keep putting BJ through the blender in everything else. They deserve this)

Hawkeye is dabbing away the last of the shaving cream that got pushed to his neck when something about how he shifts makes the bathroom light hit him at an odd angle, and like a moth to a flame, his gaze skitters right to...it. To be fair, it's almost impossible not to see it, what with it being right there on his face, taking up an unfair amount of real estate, but...it. There it is. Unavoidable.

Nose.

Every day, he seems to be noticing something else about how his body is changing that gives him pause, but there's still a wide array of options that can take his mind off it—maybe even prove that however he's seeing himself in the mirror is completely untrue. Admittedly, a lot of it has to do with the doting attentions of one extremely enthusiastic lover who, once he's told what the trouble is, will go out of his way to demolish Hawkeye's uncertainty with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

Part of that tremendous ease BJ has with Hawk's worries probably has something to do with the decade and a half of experience they have with each other, truth be told. Still feels unreal, when he really considers it. From the minute Rudyard Kipling slithered through the air between them, it felt as if Hawkeye had known BJ Hunnicutt for his whole life. But just like anybody else, they had to fight and claw their way through bickering and misunderstandings and double speak and just downright assholery before they could finally get here, to a charming house in California where, against all odds, they appear to be able to spend the rest of their lives side by side.

They get to be together. They no longer hesitate about sharing the most minute thoughts of affection. God, with the ever shifting landscape around them of free love, how it's permeated down to Castro Street, they're able to even have public dates in a way that Hawkeye had never truly thought would become real. Dates surrounded by people just like them, everybody looking out for each other, smiling as they wander down the sidewalk or into a restaurant by the sheer power of the fact that they can just...hold hands. Kiss. Wrap their arms around each other's waists and claim and know down to their very depths that everyone around them is doing the same.

In a way, it's funny. On nights like this, where Hawk's less concerned about how close he can stand to BJ in public without interlopers starting to whisper, it seems to open up his mind to notice, again, those strange aspects of living in a body that's changing right before his eyes. Love handles. Shiny stretch marks on his thighs. Silvery hair.

And the things that aren't changing, but just becoming more apparent every day. Like...nose.

"How's it coming?" BJ asks as he wanders in from the bedroom, fingers cleverly securing his tie.

Hawk turns his head this way and that, eyes not moving from his face in the mirror. He ponders. Frowns. "D'you think my parents should've named me Rudolph?"

"Like Valentino?"

"No, like..." Hawk blinks and finally turns his attention to Beej. "Really?"

BJ shrugs with a little smile. "Well, yeah, hello." He strolls in and tucks himself up close to Hawk's back, resting the side of head against his. "You seeing what I'm seeing?"

It's all but impossible to look away from BJ's handsome face through the glass, actually, the way his grays have brought out the elegance of his mustache, how deeply the wrinkles at the edges of his eyes sink in when he grins like this. He's so solid. Safe. Sexy as hell. "You know what it does to me when you wear that tie, right?"

As his eyes turn into smoldering diamonds, Beej's lips curve into a lethal smirk. "Sorry. Losing my memory in my old age. You'll have to remind me later."

"You'll be lucky if I let you get out of the car before I'm fucking reminding you," Hawk teases.

BJ keeps his gaze right on Hawkeye's as he leans forward and presses a hot kiss behind his ear, the kind that makes Hawk hum and go a little weak in the knees. "We have a reservation," BJ reminds him, as though he's not touching the small of Hawkeye's back to keep him steady and press him into the bathroom counter all at the same time.

"Fuck you," Hawk murmurs.

BJ laughs, winks, then steps away to let Hawkeye get a deep breath to settle himself. It would be a shame to miss out on some amazing cheesecake when he can just let BJ get through dinner unruffled and then blow him in the front seat, if Hawk's back'll let him.

Maybe it won't. But wouldn't it be fun to try?

Hawkeye hangs up the hand towel, but the moment he looks back at the mirror to check his hair, his stirring thoughts go dead silent. "Really, though." As he lifts his chin, a combination of the lightbulbs they use in the bathroom and his skin, warm from the California summer, makes the very tip of his nose seem even more bulbous and flushed than usual. "Look at this."

BJ hums in question. He settles his hand on his waist as he leans into the counter for a better angle. "At what?"

"This! Are you kidding?" Hawkeye gestures at his nose more grandly than he did that new bike he bought Beej for Christmas the year before last. "Look at it."

"What about it?"

"I swear it's getting redder. Bigger. I don't know." As Hawk screws up his face, his expression briefly reminds himself of a cat, disdainfully analyzing the food that was just set before it.

BJ chuckles. "I really have no idea what you're talking about. It looks exactly the same as it has since the first day I met you."

Somehow that's an even more horrifying thought, that Hawk's gone this long thinking he's some handsome, sexy ladykiller—mankiller? That one doesn't flow as well. Maybe neither of them do. He shakes his head to try and dispel the thoughts before they can go racing away from him. "Okay, sure. Forget it. It's fine." It's not. He's fixating, stuck, compulsively spinning his mind around it so that even when he looks down to grab his bottle of cologne, all he sees in his head is a bright red berry stuck at the end of a crooked hose.

Beej makes a quiet sound—one that Hawk instinctively understands to be his problem-solving hum—before he slides a hand into Hawkeye's back pocket, against all odds managing to get his thick fingers in no matter how form-fitting the trousers currently are. "I think I could pick just about any part of you out of a lineup."

Hawkeye snorts, the corners of his lips quirking despite himself. "Oh, yeah, kind of like weeding out the weird freaky misshapen apple from the bunch."

"Nope."

He cocks his head, considers another angle. "Because when Erin's not visiting, I'm allergic to anything that's not a bathrobe."

"Close," BJ murmurs, his tone shaking only slightly with a repressed laugh.

"Okay, okay, okay." Hawk waves through the air. "I'll bite. Why?"

"Because you ruined any other body for me."

Hawk pauses, still clutching the bottle of cologne, staring hard at the faucet.

"You're not gonna believe me. But try." BJ nuzzles Hawk's cheek, the words inescapable from so close. "When Erin and I swung by SF MoMA the last time she was here—when you were pulling that emergency shift, remember?—I kept having this feeling when I was walking past some of the paintings, the sculptures. I couldn't really figure it out. It's all gorgeous stuff. Erin kept pointing out some of the most incredible details I've ever seen. She's got an eye for it, I swear. But it took me until I got home and came into the bathroom and you were in the tub, and I just...I saw you, and I realized that every person depicted in those masterpieces, yeah, sure, they were objectively lovely, and also they stirred nothing in me. They were some of the most lifelike pieces I've had the pleasure to see, but they were so incredibly fake. They couldn't hold my attention because they weren't you."

All at once, Hawk can't bear to look at him, turns his head completely away. It's strange. It's so fucking weird how they've been together all this time, and yet there are moments where BJ will see him so vividly that Hawkeye half-wonders if he's been walking around in a blur up until then.

But Beej's palm finds his cheek then, and Hawk feels it all the way down to his toes. No, there's nothing fuzzy about life for him. He's been seeing in brilliant clarity since Kimpo.

Slowly, slowly, BJ guides Hawk back around, like a planet rotating toward the sun, and the moment they lock eyes, Hawkeye finds his face so gently cradled in both of BJ's massive hands. Suddenly there's no thoughts of noses, of stretch marks, of sore backs. There's just a silent invitation to look and be looked at in turn.

Hawk can't stop himself from resting his palms on BJ's softening waist as he drinks in the sight of him. It's incredible how impossible it is now to separate the potent reaction he has to the lines on his skin from the way his muscles melt in relief that he's here at all. As Hawk falls deep into his blue stare, his blood sings for him as though they're magnetized. There's so little distinction between the visceral physical attraction and the comfort that he can tell now has only come from time, time, and more time.

BJ thumbs over Hawkeye's skin. "You know what this face reminds me of?" he asks quietly.

Hawkeye considers. A single butterfly begins beating its wings right at the base of his stomach. As desperately as he's trying to flip through his mental rolodex to find a joke, a quip, the combination of BJ's touch and the longing in his gaze stops any playful comments stone dead. "No."

"It reminds me that you're here. You're real. You're not some dream." Those stunning eyes wander palpably all over Hawk's expression, from his forehead to his cheeks to his chin, leaving no part of him unloved. When BJ's fingers brush along the creases at the edge of Hawk's eyes, Beej bites his bottom lip for a moment. "That we made it. That we're living. That no matter who was taken from us, we're still marching forward together. That every day, there's a part of you that changes—just a few dozens of billions of cells—" The casual nature of that number makes Hawkeye chuckle, makes BJ's grin widen. "—but that even when you change, you're asking me to come right along with you. Because you don't need me to stay the same. And neither do you. Because what matters is we're making the choice every day to love the man we see right there, right in that moment, and finding we never want to make another decision but to stay. To learn each other's minds and passions and bodies over and over again."

The fervency of Beej's words pick up the longer he talks, and Hawkeye leans into him, bumping their foreheads together with a shuddering exhale. "You're such a bastard," Hawk finally manages to whisper back, smiling so broadly that his cheeks hurt. "How do I follow up something like that? What am I gonna say, ditto? C'mon. It's not enough that you took all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes, but you've gotta take all the perfect words too?"

"Look who's talking," BJ repeats in a voice that's so lush, so sweet that Hawk could never doubt it.

BJ cups Hawk's cheek more deliberately, and without another thought, Hawkeye closes his eyes and purses his lips, waiting for a millionth kiss from the man he gave up so little for and yet gained so fucking much from. But there's no gentle brush over his mouth. Instead, faint but intimate warmth presses right to the tip of his nose, and Hawk, already at the edge of emotional overwhelm, feels his legs buckle as he gasps and leans his weight into BJ.

Beej catches him, because of course he does, his arms wrapping around Hawkeye's waist in the exact space that was made for them. He busses their noses together, back and forth, and Hawk drags up fistfuls of BJ's shirt over his spine, pulling it out from under his belt, and lets out a whimper.

"I love your nose," BJ whispers, the heat of his words tickling Hawk's face. "I love your grays. I love your wrinkles. I love your figure, all the soft parts, all the knobby bits. I've never felt like this about anybody in my life. And every day, there's something new about you that lights me on fire. So hush. The next time you see something you don't feel like belongs on your body, you just come find me, and I'll make sure it feels plenty welcome, huh?"

Hawk barks out an unexpected laugh. "I love you so much. You asshole. We've got a reservation that you made. We don't have time for me to blubber up with the waterworks."

It's the silence between them that's always been a warning. Hawkeye risks a glance and finds BJ already smirking at him, toothy and dangerous, and just as Hawk's heart starts to flutter, he's already hopping away—but not before BJ finds his ticklish belly and grazes over it.

"No!" Hawk cackles without thought, leaping from one foot to the next in a shot of adrenaline that makes him feel like he's barely thirty again. "Don't you—don't you dare!"

"I'm just making you laugh," Beej taunts as he comes after him. He makes an impressive lunge, but Hawk manages to spin out through the bathroom door and scamper across the carpet. "Aw, c'mon, babe—"

"Menace! Dick! Ass!" When BJ makes another grab, Hawk somehow manages to duck under his arms. "Pri—no!"

As Beej catches his wrist at the last possible moment, he drags Hawkeye in and pins him gently up against the hallway wall with his broad form, kissing his nose, his cheek, his jawline. "Love you," he breathes.

Thoughts of cheesecake rapidly slipping away, Hawk tips his head back with a shivery laugh. "Love you too—" And then cuts off with a squirm the second his evil lover presses fingers into his waist. "Hate! HATE!"