#I'm not disloyal but I'm finding myself wondering what I'm being loyal to lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I wonder what it is about breaking up with someone and starting new that I find so upsetting. I realize that people also find break ups heartbreaking, but I know I take it to an extreme. I've never liked the idea of having different partners throughout my life. The idea of having an ex has always been something I hated. The type of breakup didn't matter to me. That is to say whether we ended on good or bad terms didn't make the idea of ending a relationship better to me. I'm not trying to be pretentious about it, I'm just being fr about a sentiment I've held for as long as I can remember. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed the idea of hook ups or casual dating. For better or worse, I've always held the belief that romantic relationships should be all in and serious from the beginning.
I think this feeling is definitely exacerbated by the fact that I've been passed up for another person before so I know what it's like to have someone "move on" from you, and it genuinely sucks like all fucking hell lmao. So the idea of "moving on" and being with someone else has been incredibly tarnished for me.
#I've been thinking a lot about my gf and how I thought I'd get my childhood dream#Of my first serious relationship being my ONLY serious relationship#And things are fine with us#But they're JUST fine#I could handle the distance just fine if she was out to her family#And it doesn't sound like she has any plans of ever coming out#I asked her and she gave me a vague answer#And it's like#Bro#It's been 5 years#Surely you can give me something more concrete#Like#I want to be married#Is that ever going to happen?#I'm gonna go visit her soon to get a feel for how things are#But idk#I've been desiring other women a whole lot lately#Like a whole lot#I just miss having the freedom to flirt around#I'm not disloyal but I'm finding myself wondering what I'm being loyal to lmao#A woman who seems determined to not make me a priority?#And it's difficult because she tells everyone else about me#All her friends#A complete stranger was able to recognize me because of how often she posted about me on Snapchat#But I just don't feel like she cares in the way I want her to#I feel like I don't have a future with her#Like our relationship will always have kid gloves#I could talk forever about this
33 notes
·
View notes