#I'm not above bribery

[tinfoilbutters]

Okay but hypothetically, if I did a drawing for everyone who votes for Butters in the next poll, would anyone be interested?

[bnomiko]

Well, y'all gonna make me do it eh? Okay, so I'm closing in on 500 kudos on "Under the Milky Way" and climbed over 100 kudos on "What's the Story Morning Glory?"

Under the Milky Way - bnomiko - Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series [Archive of Our Own]

So... I was thinking if I hit 500 kudos on the first story plus 190 comments - I'll even combine the comment total from both "Milky Way" and "Morning Glory" to count <3 (achieved!) - I'd do a bonus smut scene since I'm sure that's what people are most hungry for : p How does a fleshed out take on top!Alucard going apex predator on bottom!Trevor sound? I may prefer Alucard on bottom but not going to deny that he needs to flex his muscles (and fangs) sometimes : 3

I'm not above bribing and being bribed, I'm very honest about that...

[andsoforrain]

Patting my knee and making kissy noises trying to get Sleep to sit in my lap

everyone imagines sleep as this really cool scary monster demon looking thing and my brain just goes: sleep is a small black cat. don't ask why my brain associates an ancient eldritch deity with a cat bc i don't know. 😅

[ircnwrought]

it's over for you all when i convince one of you to write cadmus for harmonia

[thehallstara]

hi there's a little less than a day in the first round of the @blaseballshipbracket and i figured i should probably do a round up of what i've promised lmao so!!!

-if BOTH famous/scorpler and nerd/famous win their rounds i'll write a famous pov 12x100 that covers both relationships

-if nerd/famous wins i'll release a [redacted] fic about them that's been sitting in my drafts

-if haruta/bright wins i'll post EVERYTHING i have in my drafts with them

-likewise, if gitajayden win i will do the same

-if you vote for leon/andrew and show me i'll write a 100 word drabble of a player of your choice 🥰

am i gonna regret all this?? maybe!! tylandry and edric/dec/baby don't need the help rn but i do have stuff to offer if they make it through lmao

[zepskies]

This One's For You

Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader || Ben & daughter!OC (Lila)

Summary: Late one night, finding no other recourse, Ben sings to his infant daughter to help her sleep.

AN: Thanks to this request, this one’s set between Until Morning and Green in the BMD-verse.

Word Count: 1.2K

Song Inspo: "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's

Tags/Warnings: Grumpy Ben, established relationship, potential fluff overload.~

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

“Your daughter’s awake,” Ben grumbled into his pillow.

He didn’t need to have sensitive hearing to pick up on the infant’s whining in her crib.

“She’s only my daughter when she has a rough night.” You sighed and turned away from him on your side of the bed. You clutched at your pillow. “It’s your turn, pal.”

His eyes cracked open. He gave you a look of annoyance behind your back.

“I have to get up in three hours for work,” he said.

You didn’t seem to care. You were so tired, he already heard your deeper breaths in sleep. In fairness, you essentially hadn’t slept for three days now. Your daughter was a demanding little thing, with some powerful goddamn lungs.

When another insistent whine and a hiccupping cry reached his ears, Ben released a sound of frustration. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until the house was silent again, so after another beat, he finally peeled back the covers. Sliding out of bed, he padded out on bare feet down the hall to the nursery, wearing his usual pair of sweatpants.

He peered over the side of the crib and found Lila blinking up at him. Her tears clung to her lashes as she wriggled around in upset.

“What’s the matter now?” he asked, as if the baby could answer him.

He reached in with careful hands and picked her up, resting her on his chest. She sniffed and predictably latched onto his hair as she cried.

He checked her in various ways, but she didn’t smell like a full diaper (upon which, he would've handed her over to you). She seemed fine, which meant she was being finicky just for the hell of it.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Come on,” he said as he paced the room with her. “Quiet the fuck down already.”

Still, she wouldn’t stop crying. The whimpers were pitiful, but at least they weren’t ear-splitting wails this time. He just really needed her to stop so he could sleep, expeditiously.

After several minutes with no improvement, however, Ben sighed and dropped down into the rocking chair. He was coming to the end of his tether.

“All right, what’s it gonna take for you to relax?” he muttered. At this point, he wasn’t above bribery. Candy? Money? A new fucking car? Hell, he’d get her a fleet of Ferraris if it’d make her pipe down.

He held Lila in the crook of his arm and tried rocking back and forth in the chair. When that didn’t work, he tried humming a tune—something he’d heard on the radio that now wouldn’t get out of his damn head. The only reason he remembered it was because of his daughter’s name.

“Oh, it’s what you do to me, oh, it’s what you do to me,” he sang softly, deep and baritone, and a little coarse from sleep. (And possibly a little off-key.)

Lila seemed to ease up a little in response to his voice, blinking up at him with those pretty green eyes. Maybe that was the solution.

He cleared his throat in slight embarrassment. He looked in the doorway to make sure he was alone before he kept going with this.  

Okay, what’re the words to the goddamn song…

“H-Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in New York City?” he started, a bit unsure. The baby blinked up at him, holding a little fist in her mouth. Tears continued to stream down her cheeks while she whimpered, but she looked like she was listening, at least. 

“I'm a thousand miles away, but girl, tonight you look so pretty,” Ben continued. He couldn’t help softening a bit, looking down on her. He swept a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“Yes, you do. Time Square can’t shine as bright as you…I swear it’s true.”

Tomorrow he was scheduled for another mission out of New York, with Butcher and the rest of the team. Ben didn’t know how long he’d be gone.

“Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about the distance,” he sang, “I'm right there if you get lonely. Give this song another listen…”

He wouldn’t admit it, but it was hard to leave you and Lila. She was still so small, and he didn’t like the thought of you two being alone, even if Frank was watching out for you.

But Ben had a job to do.

“Close your eyes,” he almost whispered. “Listen to my voice, it’s my disguise. I’m by your side…”

Lila had begun to settle down. He dried her tears as he continued to rock her, continued to hum the melody of the chorus. He couldn’t remember most of the song after that, but there were a few more lines he did have rolling around in his head.

“Hey there, Delilah, here’s to you,” he sang quietly. “This one’s for you…”

 Just then, Ben thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up and found you there, leaning in the doorway. You were holding up your cell phone.

His brows knitted together in a glare.

“What the fuck’re you doing?” he said, sharp and incredulous.

“Shhh,” you reminded him, pointing at the baby. He saw your smirk below the frame of the phone.

Ben looked down and found that Lila was finally asleep. Gritting his teeth, he got up slowly. You were filming him all the while, even with your hair wild in bedhead and your pajama top hanging off your shoulder. Apparently, embarrassing him was more important than sleep.

Ben gently set her back down in the crib. Once he made sure she was safe and settled in sleep, he turned and saw that you were still filming him. He hoped you captured the deathly look of warning on his face.

You bit your lip. Without either of you saying anything, you darted off down the hall. Ben stalked after you.

“Woman, you better get the fuck back here!” he hissed in a coarse whisper. You struggled to contain your laughter.

“You’ll have to catch me first, old man,” you teased.

He chased you around the house—almost knocking over a lamp in the process—until he got ahold of you, and more importantly your phone. He grabbed it out of your hand and held you flush against him with an ironclad arm around your waist.

Ben looked down at you both in satisfaction, and a warning not to try anything else. You laughed and took his bearded face in your hands. You pulled him down to you for a placating kiss.

"You do have a nice voice," you whispered near his lips.

"Shut it. You're on thin fucking ice with me," he groused, with a shake of his head when it only reignited your inane giggling.

His lips reluctantly tugging at a smile, he silenced you with a deeper kiss.

The joke was on him though. While you were running around, you already managed to drop that video into the group chat with Hughie, Annie, and all the rest of your friends at Supe Affairs.

Come the morning, Ben was about to have a very interesting day at the office. 

AN: 😂 Did you enjoy another dose of dad!Ben in the BMD-verse? 💚

Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:

Coming up next, Ben gets his revenge in Lesson Learned:

Summary: There’s only so much teasing Ben is willing to take. He has no choice but to punish you.

▶️ Keep Reading: Lesson Learned

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Break Me Down Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26

@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

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@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420

@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx

[jscrawls]

Widows rest

My take on a Black widow! Reader x Batman and Batfam but with a slight twist, reader doesn't know the Bats but they seem to know them...

Warning: contains avengers infinity war spoilers, black widow spoilers, brief mentions of violence, mentions of death, hospitals, poor writing, possible ooc,

Part 4: Plan of action.

🔹🔹🔹

You're restless, the impromptu visit from your supposed “husband” plagues you as you pick apart every second of it, from the mannerisms of him and the doctor to how he spoke to you. Even all the meds they've got you on haven't knocked you out yet even though it's late, the lights dimmed and the rest of the facility has fallen relatively quiet. Nothing else to do you think, piece out what little you have.

You know you died, jumped to your death on an alien planet far from earth. You remember the feeling, the pain, as quick as it was was unbearable, shock not having time to settle in. Yet you're on earth in a hospital bed, an undetermined amount of time having passed, no mention of aliens or the snap or the heroes you worked under. No Thanos. That's the only part you're thankful for.

But a partner? Kids? Not in your life. Something's wrong.

You stare at the dark ceiling for what feels like hours, the lack of Windows frustrates you since you can't even see what time of day it is, just go off the staff's schedules, the room feels like a choke point, a cell, a little box you're shoved into. You just hope they haven't played with the supersoldier serum again. A noise stirs outside your door, you relax your whole body as you wrap your hand around the syringe, subtly popping the cap off.

The door makes little sound, it's well oiled it seems, if it weren't for the air changing you'd have thought it was just someone walking by, a nurse or something. The fact that they're sneaking is enough for you to act, your eyes closed in feigned rest. the air changes again, above your head to the left, quick as a cat you strike out with the syringe.

🔹🔹🔹

If Tim hadn't hadn't just come off a case he might not have been so jumpy, he might have taken the needle right in the neck. He quickly yet awkwardly grabs at the hand and bats it away before he gets stabbed, his eyes widening under the cowl.

“Woah! Woah calm down! Easy I'm one of the good guys.” He holds his hands up placatingly and steps back, what the hell just happened? You were seemingly asleep a second ago!

“Come on, why does everybody go for the neck?” He grumbles as he eyes the syringe, his eyes quickly meeting yours even though his aren't visible, at least you're awake now?…

“good guys don't sneak up on people in hospitals, who are you and how'd you get in here.” Your voice is steely as you study the man, he sounds young, really likes red and black it seems…is that a cape? A bit dramatic for your taste.

“Wha- hey Gotham heroes do! It's our- Okay let's get back on target here, can we put the needle down? You won't be needing that.” He steps closer slowly, when you don't immediately relinquish the makeshift weapon he stops short of the hospital bed.

Gotham huh, sounds like a made-up name. Your expression doesn't falter. “you didn't answer my questions, name and business here?”

“…I'm red Robin, you remember that?”

Your eyes narrow, he's clearly gotten a hold of your diagnosis somehow, bribery? Impersonating a doctor? Hacking? Maybe they're just all in on it.

“No. Why are you named after a fast food joint?” It's a trip question, throw him for a loop to see how he reacts.

He looks taken aback, his foot sliding back slightly as he tilts his head, offended possibly?

“I'm actually moreso honoring Robin, guess it's a bit in the nose eh?”

He glances at you like he expects something, the silence stretches on, you both staring at each other until it starts to get uncomfortable. His feet shift again, his hands start fidgeting with his pockets.

“…who's this Robin?” you ask blankly, fed up with all the name games already. You pull yourself upright in the bed, the syringe still held close to you just Incase.

“You…. Do you remember Batman?” He sounds genuinely upset for a moment, subconsciously leaning towards you. there's that spark of attachment like with the Wayne, what the hells going on?

“bat-man? Like, Chiroptera family, or a baseball bat?”

It's a fair question in your mind, you're no stranger to literal codenames so maybe it's some man with a wooden bat. another staring contest, silence blankets over the two of you for another uncomfortable moment. If this is an interrogation or assassination attempt it's a poor one.

“…how do you even-okay this is getting out of hand. I just wanted to see how you're doing, how's your head?” He starts to gesture towards you and then stops, clearly still wary of the syringe in your fist.

“don't know. pain meds.” Sounds answer enough in your mind, red Robin nods with a slight grimace on what's visible of his face, seemingly satisfied with that.

He shifts from foot to foot, restless or impatient? Head tilting down as he worries his lip, your eyes narrow as you watch the young man process something.

“…. I'm gonna figure something out to help your memory, okay?” He speaks firmly after an awkward moment of silence, reaching out to Pat your shoulder absentmindedly before flinching back again. What is with the familiarity? The people here are too touchy in your opinion.

He ducks out of the room without another word after that, silence falling over you once again, you're not letting that guy anywhere near your memories, that's for sure.

🔹🔹🔹

That was….a lot, Tim's dealt with a lot of weird shit in his day. people high off fear toxin, mind control, time vortex's, but this was just unsettling. In the GC Bruce described them as off, but mostly just disoriented, dazed maybe. They spoke gently and accepted their situation seemingly well. That's not what Tim saw, they were like a completely different person wearing his parent's face. The body language, the aggression, the tone infliction and way of speaking, that wasn't just a younger brain version of them, Tim's sure of it. Maybe they were more affected by the incident than anyone realized?….

Tim leaps rooftop to rooftop as he tries to puzzle it out, dropping down onto a fire escape and pausing, watching the hustle and bustle of Gothams nightlife. He'll figure out a way to help them, and that's a fact.

🔹🔹🔹

M.list | prev | next

A/n: didn't forget Timmy boi was with Bruce, he just wanted to show up in dramatic fashion, this almost backfired on him spectacularly.

Taglist: @cxcilla @redsakura101 @mercuryathens @dind1n @ninihrtss @let-me-dance @thewitchblue

[megalony]

Helping Hands and Paws

This is an Evan Buckley imagine from an anon request, I loved this idea and am going to do a follow up soon. I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen

911 Masterlist

Summary: Evan isn't too pleased his new neighbour has a dog in the apartment when there are no pets allowed. Until he finds out why. Then he does his best to look out for her in every way he can.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not having this," Evan muttered the words to himself like a mantra to keep him going and egg himself on so he didn't back out at the last second.

He walked out of his flat, cannister cup of coffee in hand while his other hand rubbed up and down his face to wake himself up. He shook his head, rattled this thoughts about and locked the apartment door before he turned and headed in the opposite direction of the stairs.

Tell her straight. It doesn't matter how sweet and innocent she looks.

Evan curled his fingers around his cannister until his short nails were pressing into his palm, creating crescent moons in the pale skin. He could feel the tension building up in his other fist, trying to stop himself from knocking on the door when he reached the neighbouring apartment.

It had to be done. This couldn't continue. Three weeks she had been moved in and at first, it was great.

He didn't know the previous neighbour who lived in the flat next door and Evan didn't know anyone else in the building to lived above or below him. He knew faces who he passed by in the lobby or in the stairwell, he knew them enough to nod to if he ever saw them out on the street, but he didn't know names or personal information.

The new girl had brought him cookies the day after she moved in and Evan thought it was a sweet gesture; he should have known it was some form of bribery.

He had seen her once since then and she had a dazzling yet shy smile that made him grin without meaning to. All he knew about her was that her name was (Y/n) and that was enough. Evan hadn't thought about introducing himself some more or trying to get to know her because he didn't know the previous neighbour. He wasn't like his parents who had become best friends with their neighbours back home, Evan didn't see the point.

He had a busy life, sometimes his personal life was dull but his job was important and kept him busy and on his toes. He didn't have time to get to know the neighbour.

His knuckles rapped on the door and he leaned his forearm against the doorframe, pressing his temple against his arm as he took long, deep breaths to stay calm.

"Oh, has… has there been an accident?"

Her voice dazed Evan and for a few seconds he stood paralysed in front of her with a perplexed expression and narrowed eyes. Why on Earth would that be the first thing to come out of her mouth when she saw him?

Her right hand was curled around the door handle and her left palm pressed into the side of the door that she was leaning on. She almost looked sweet with her head leant on the door and her chest pressed into the edge of the door. If she curled one leg around the lower part of the door she would have looked like she was posing for a photoshoot.

When she didn't receive a response, (Y/n) gingerly looked Evan up and down and pressed her lips together until he got the silent message.

(Y/n) didn't know he was a fireman.

Safe to say, she had been stunned when she first introduced herself to her new neighbour.

She hadn't been expecting a tall hunk to open the door when she went round to see who lived next door. He was a foot taller than her, his shoulders were so wide and broad that if he wrapped her up in a hug, he would likely engulf her small frame.

"No," Evan's lips twitched like he wanted to smile but he forced himself not to and took a deep breath.

He forgot he was in his work uniform, he didn't always get dressed at home, a lot of the time he left his uniform at the station and got changed there. But he had been on a late shift yesterday and didn't want to waste more time changing at the station to do it all again this morning.

Evan was wearing his dark navy blue trousers that felt like cardboard when they had been ironed. And his matching sleeveless button up shirt that was getting a bit too tight around the chest and cutting into his biceps. The fire station logo was printed over the left breast and he realised that was what had shocked (Y/n). He didn't tell her what he did for a living, she hadn't told him her job either.

"Are you okay, Buck?"

"No, I'm not. Look, I don't know how you got it past the building manager, but pets aren't allowed in the building. No cats, no dogs, I doubt he'd even let you keep fish in there. And I know you have a dog."

He watched the way she curled up around the door she was clinging to and he almost felt bad.

Almost.

Pets weren't allowed. If Evan's work schedule was a bit less hectic, he would of loved to have a dog, they were his favourite animal and Hen was always saying he was the embodiement of a labrador. But the building manager didn't allow pets. They could ruin the floorboards and skirting boards, pee on the floor and wreck it, they were a liability and could cause damage to the apartments and they were noisy.

Evan wasn't certain about the rules, he didn't know if people could have pets like snakes or mice or fish, he had no idea. But he did know he had been warned that if he had a dog or a cat living with him, it could get him evicted.

Last week Evan was sure he heard a dog barking but he put it down to someone visiting someone in the building and bringing a dog with them. It couldn't be a dog from the street since they were five stories high and the sound wouldn't travel up this far.

Last night cemented the fact that Evan's new neighbour had to have a dog.

"Now I like dogs, I'm an animal person, but not at three in the morning when your dog starts barking for almost an hour and I have to be up for work. I work for the LAFD, I do day and night shifts and a lot of twenty four hour shifts, I'd appreciate it if I could come home and actually sleep, not listen to the dog you're harbouring in there."

Evan had done a twenty four hour shift, come home for twelve hours to get some sleep and now he was going back for another double shift. He had been woken up early in the morning to a dog barking and it continued for what had to of been an hour, on and off.

He liked dogs, he loved them, but it wasn't fair that (Y/n) had clearly smugged her dog into the building without telling the manager and now said dog was keeping Evan awake when he had to be at work. The rules were in place for a reason and Evan wasn't a rule breaker, he went along with them and he didn't like people ignoring the rules and making his life worse.

"I- I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you'd be able to hear him…" (Y/n) dragged her trembling fingers through her hair and pursed her lips.

She wasn't making a good impression here.

She needed to explain.

"I've gotta go or I'll be late for work. Control the dog please, I don't wanna have to go to the building manager and explain and I'm pretty sure you don't want me doing that either."

A shudder ran down (Y/n)'s spine when Evan turned and stormed down the hall. It was as if he had left a trail of ice in his absence and a thick rush of cold in the air. (Y/n) moved her hands to rub up and down her arms, fighting off a shiver as she winced and closed her eyes. She had made a very bad impression on her neighbour and he was an important person, he was a fireman.

The last thing (Y/n) wanted to do was wake her neighbour up in the middle of the night with Axel and cause Evan annoyance or distress. But it hadn't been her fault, she couldn't help it.

Turning on her heels, (Y/n) shut the door behind her and leaned her head back into the wood as a sigh passed through her lips.

When her eyes landed on the musty cream labrador sat obediently by the stairs, her tired lips quirked into a smile and she felt her heart softening. She let herself slide down the door until she was knelt down on the floor and held her hands out towards him until he came trotting over into her waiting arms.

"Buck isn't too happy with us." She mused quietly as she scratched his ears and fussed him up. "I think we need to tell him you have an important job too, don't you sweetie?"

***

A horrid burning ache blistered down Evan's spine the moment he leaned forward and curved his spine that seemed to want to stay as straight as a board and move in no other direction. He could feel his lower spine give a horrid click when he straightened back up and it made a grimace flood onto his face.

The truck ladder had really done a number on him.

Some new idiot controlling the ladder had moved it too early when Evan was helping a lady out of her burning apartment in the early hours of the morning. The moving ladder caused Evan and the lady to topple and he fell right on his back on the ladder with the lady on top of him.

The locker room mirror showed Evan a lovely view of his back that now had black and blue splotches running up and down the centre, very close to his spine. He was going to need a few days to recover from this.

With a grumble, he hefted his feet up the stairs and leaned on the wall as he shuffled up. Sometimes he didn't like living on the fifth floor, or the fact that he had made a pact with his inner self when he moved in that he would never use the lift unless it was strictly necessary. He had used the lift to get his furniture up and when he had too many groceries to carry- which had only happened once.

Other than that, Evan always walked up the stairs to keep his fitness regime and keep him active. He counted the lift as a lazy way out and he wouldn't use it and at times like these, he hated himself for his stubbornness and the deals he made with himself.

He could of used the lift after a long shift where he only got two measly hours of sleep in the bunker room.

His bed was calling him and he was praying that (Y/n)'s furry friend wouldn't be on a rampage today and wouldn't wake him up during his much needed nap. It had been a week since he went round to talk to her and he hadn't heard one peep from the dog which meant either it was now very well trained on staying quiet and being a fugitive in the flat. Or her furry friend had left the building for good.

Evan didn't know which it was and right now, he didn't care.

"You've got to be kidding me." Rage simmered up in Evan's stomach and bubbled through into his chest that was igniting with adrenaline when he got onto the fourth floor.

Barking.

He wasn't even home yet and he could hear the dog, loud and clear. It was barking and making horrible whining sounds like it was in pain or some sort of distress. What were she and that dog doing now? Did it desperately need to go outside for the toilet and (Y/n) wasn't moving fast enough? Had she locked it outside the door by mistake?

Whatever they were doing, Evan was going to tell her it wasn't on and complain. Again.

"Alright, what are you doing?"

His anger continued when he reached their floor and the barking kept going. Evan's apartment was closest to the stairwell but he walked past his door that was begging for him to get inside and climb into bed. The offer was tempting but he couldn't sleep with a dog barking out like a siren telling him to stay awake and suffer.

His feet stomped against the floor but when he lifted his head and looked towards (Y/n)'s apartment at the end of the dark hall, Evan's steps faltered.

The door was ajar and he could see a labrador's back legs and tail sticking out of the door. The dog was stood in the door way, barking and whining. Had someone broken into her flat? Had (Y/n) had a fall?

"(Y/n)?" The anger simmered down in Evan's voice and changed into concern.

His brows arched and he stopped for a brief second when the dog turned around and poked it's rather lovely head around the side of the door at the sound of Evan's voice. He could see panic in the creature's eyes and it barked at him, let out a deep, unsettling growl, then turned back around and moved behind the door. Evan was sure that if the dog could, it would have shut the door on him in some sort of protest.

"(Y/n)… it's Buck, everything okay?" Evan pressed his palm to the door and pushed it open but his eyes widened when he took one step into the apartment. "Oh shit!"

She was having a seizure.

Evan slumped down to his knees, bashing his feet into the door as he went down beside (Y/n). She was laid on her left side, both arms bent at odd angles in front of her and her legs stretched out straight. All her limbs were trembling back and forth and her feet were bent down like a ballerina standing on her tiptoes which Evan knew would hurt when she came out of this.

"Hey, it's Buck, you're alright everything's okay just try and breathe for me, okay?" His hands shook when he carefully pressed them beneath (Y/n)'s jaw and cradled her neck.

His eyes lifted to lock on the labrador who let out another deep, guttural whine and pressed its chest to the floor with its back end up in the air. It's eyes were locked on Evan, watching him apprehensively as if he was a threat. The dog pressed its nose into (Y/n)'s shoulder and sniffed, then nudged her head a little.

"It's alright buddy, I'm gonna help her,"

He looked back down at (Y/n) and tried to keep her head in place so he could feel her pulse. Her head was jittering back and he could feel just how tense her neck was. If she leaned her head back any further she would do some damage to her neck and muscles.

Her lips were parted enough for Evan to see the inside of them were pink, she was getting enough oxygen which was a relief and she wasn't foaming or spitting blood meaning she wasn't biting her tongue. Her eyes were rolled to the back of her head and Evan winced at seeing the whites of her eyes, it was unsettling even though she couldn't help it.

When he looked her over and ran his fingertips down her arms, Evan realised she had her bag hooked on her left elbow and she was thrashing on it. If anything in there was sharp it would hurt and bruise her.

"Let's move this out the way and get you more settled, hm?" His fingertips slipped beneath her chest and he slowly pulled her bag and unhooked it from her arm. He placed it a few feet away for safety before he shuffled round on his knees until he was knelt behind (Y/n)'s head.

With careful hands, he lifted her trembling head and placed her head on his thighs. She continued to thrash, tensing her head that suddenly jolted forward but stayed on Evan's knees. At least this way, she could lift and bang her head without the risk of concussing herself. And she was laid on her side which was good in case she threw up.

"You're doing great," He whispered encouragingly, moving his hand to her back so he could rub soothing circles up and down her back and hips.

He knew some people were completely unconscious when they had seizures but it depended on what kind they had. Some people were aware of their surroundings and people nearby and on the off chance (Y/n) could hear him, Evan wanted her to know she was okay and he was trying to help.

"There you go, deep breaths." His left hand continued to rub up and down her back while he moved his right hand beneath her chin to cradle her jaw and her neck. He felt her rapid pulse that was in a good range, not too high and no where near being too low. He glanced at his watch, roughly a minute since he had turned up and maybe an extra thirty seconds since he heard the dog barking.

Evan didn't know how long (Y/n) had been laid here but he hadn't heard the dog on the third floor or below. He took a calculated guess she had seized for two minutes, maybe a few seconds more. That was good, five minutes was the danger line and if crossed, paramedics needed to be called. Evan would call them if (Y/n) asked him to.

He had no idea if this was her first seizure or if she had epilepsy and experienced this on a regular basis. He didn't want to call the medics if (Y/n) could handle herself and this was a normal occurence for her.

It was then that Evan looked at the dog who had settled to lay down beside (Y/n)'s back and place it's head on her thigh.

The dog was wearing a harness Evan hadn't noticed earlier.

Service Dog Do Not Stroke

"Shit. Shit! Oh, fuck me!" Evan dragged a hand down his face and covered his eyes, breathing harshly against his wrist to stop himself from growling.

What had he done?

He had been so rude to (Y/n) last week because he was sleep-deprived. He had been a jerk, he was rude and ignorant and full of himself. If he had only hung around she might have explained and he would have understood. Pets weren't allowed in the building, but assistance dogs were different. They were trained to look after their owners and they were trained strictly. No messing around and wrecking the furniture or the floorboards. No weeing on the floor unless strictly necessary. No random barking or growling or jumping at people.

They were always on duty and Evan would bet that the building manager couldn't turn (Y/n) away because of her dog unless he wanted to be called a discriminator.

(Y/n) must have been allowed to have her dog in the apartment with her, she must have gotten permission for this because the dog acted as a carer and could save her life. And Evan had gone and argued with her and acted totally unlike himself without knowing the full situation.

When a quiet murmur left (Y/n)'s lips and Evan looked down to see her blinking and trying to look around, he moved his hands to her shoulders and leaned over her.

"It's Buck, I uh, I heard the dog and tried to help. Let's sit you up, can you tell me if you're hurt?" His hands curved round beneath (Y/n)'s arms and he slowly inched her up and pulled her until her back was curved into his chest. Her head flopped back on his shoulder like it was too heavy to hold up and her trembling arms curled to her chest as the last tremors rattled through her like electric shocks wearing off.

"My neck," (Y/n)'s voice shook and she closed her eyes, trying to take deep breaths through her nose since her jaw was now aching. She had clenched her teeth together during her seizure and all of her neck was throbbing like it had been broken.

"You were straining a bit, but I don't think you've done any damage."

(Y/n)'s breath shuddered when she felt Evan's hand move to cup her neck again. His skin was warm but the pads of his fingers were rough from a lot of hard work and grit. When his thumb brushed against her jaw (Y/n) tried hard not to make a sound or jump back against his chest.

Her limbs weren't properly under her control yet so when she stretched her hand out, her whole arm wobbled up and down like she was fighting an unseen force of nature. She stretched her hand out and managed to curl her numb fingers around Evan's wrist.

He thought she was going to throw his hand away or tell him to get off her, that he was overstepping the mark when he was just trying to help. But she didn't push him away. Her hand gripped his wrist in a fierce embrace and she tilted her forehead into his neck until Evan could scarcely breathe properly.

"Can I move you off the floor?"

She nodded into his neck, tilting her head up until her lips were hovering over his jaw and she could see the deep gulp he took.

Her body went floppy when Evan's arms slid around her back and beneath her knees and her legs flopped and bent easily whereas sometimes she stayed locked in place, straight like a ruler. It surprised (Y/n) how easily Evan picked her up and he didn't huff or strain, not one muscle seemed to quiver when he stood up and his expression was the epitomy of calm and collected. He'd done this before.

He walked further into the apartment, passed the kitchen that mirrored his own and went to the sofa in front of the bay windows. The dog followed dutifully and sat down on the rug in front of the sofa while Evan crouched down and laid (Y/n) on the sofa.

His back was aching from his fall but the adrenaline he felt now consumed every inch of his blood and prevented his back from being in any pain by carrying her. He didn't care. His back could have been screaming out and he would have lifted her anyway and moved her wherever she needed to be and he didn't want her staying on the floor when she could be hurt. She needed to rest.

His eyes darted to the small table in front of the sofa but he doubted that would hold his weight. So Evan settled on perching on the edge of the sofa next to (Y/n)'s waist. He bent his knees outwards and clasped his hands together, resting them between his parted thighs.

"Are you okay? Do I need to call an ambulance or any family to come over?"

"No, I- I'll be okay," She wanted to reach up and rub her bruising neck but she couldn't control herself enough yet. So she settled on flopping her hand across to take Evan's hand.

"I think I'd better stay with you until you're really okay," Evan didn't like the thought of leaving (Y/n) if no one else was going to come and stay with her or check in and make sure she was okay. All the tiredness suddenly washed away and he was left on red alert like when he was on shift.

What if he left and she had another seizure? What if she couldn't walk properly or was sick and needed help? She shouldn't be alone right now.

"Thank you, f-for helping me… I'm sorry," He looked tired. Had she caught him when he was on his way to work or on his way home from work? Was she keeping him from seeing family or getting in the way of plans? She felt bad, ruining Evan's day by him catching her in an indecent state.

"No, I should be the one apologising to you… your dog, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been so crappy to you last week, he's a service dog dog. I should have let you explain."

"He woke you-"

"Oh God, were you having a seizure that night? Is that why he was barking?" Another bout of dread washed over Evan and turned his naturally milky skin into a dark shade of grey. Had she been having a seizure during the night? Did Evan make her feel a whole lot worse by having a go at her when he should have asked if she was alright and let her explain the situation.

"Axel can sense a seizure, he alerts me, sometimes he has to wake me up. He's trained to let me know up to an hour before a seizure if he can and he helps me find a safe place. He stays with me during and after a seizure."

It wasn't always easy for Axel to sense one of (Y/n)'s seizures but he was trained to try and alert her an hour before one happened so she had time to find somewhere safe to stay. He woke her during the night if one was approaching, he stayed by her side when she was in any kind of seizure and he could move her if he really had to. He would alert people by howling if it was a very distressing and dangerous situation.

But mostly he stayed close and waited beside (Y/n) and laid with her until it was all over. He was an essential part of (Y/n)'s life because she couldn't always tell if she was going to have a seizure. He alerted her, he kept her safe, he barked at people if they were trying to help her or hurting her when trying to help because some people didn't always know what to do.

He was a comfort when the seizures were over and he calmed (Y/n)'s anxiety, she needed him which was why she was allowed to rent the apartment with an assistance dog living with her.

"We were taking a walk when he alerted me, so we tried to hurry home," (Y/n) looked down at her hands before she closed her eyes and tried to fight off the headache forming behind her temple.

They had barely been out for half an hour when Axel stopped walking and started pawing at (Y/n)'s thigh and whining. He knew she was going to have a seizure and that meant they had to get to a safe place. Home had only been a ten minute walk and (Y/n) didn't know how much time she had before her seizure would overpower her. She must have looked strange, rushing down the street with Axel leading the way, tail down and ears back in worry.

At least they made it to the apartment. (Y/n) remembered putting her key in the door before Axel pushed in front of her and let her fall down onto him so he could help lay her on the floor.

"Thank God you got past the stairs,"

Evan didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if she didn't make it up the stairs in time. She could have cracked her head open, broken a few bones or fallen down the stairs and gotten a lot of injuries. And if she had her seizure in the lift, she might have been stuck in there, helpless, waiting for someone to hear Axel in distress and find them.

"I'm grateful you helped me, Buck," He could have gone into his own apartment and waited until Axel stopped barking. He didn't have to come over and help. He could have seen her have a seizure and call an ambulance and leave them to look after her. He didn't have to sit next to her now and wait with her to make sure she was okay. But (Y/n) owed him her gratitude for what he had done today.

"You don't have to thank me," Evan rubbed his free hand over the back of his neck, scratching the short hairs for a moment or two. "And Buck is what everyone at work calls me… you can call me Evan, if you want."

***

The fire station. Perfect.

Relief sweltered through (Y/n)'s blood like adrenaline and she tightened her hand around Axel's lead, already feeling the tips of her fingers turning numb. Her legs didn't want to move either, her left leg had all but turned to stone, becoming useless until she was dragging it behind her like it was broken.

Her stomach churned and her throat felt like it was closing up when she hobbled through the open shutters of the fire house.

This was the safest place she could be if she was going to have a seizure. A fire house was just like a police station or a hospital, full of people trained to help and people who would protect her and make sure she was alright.

(Y/n) could of cried when she looked at one of the trucks in front of her. Stuck on the side of the truck in large white numbers was written 118. This was Evan's fire house and he was at work today, (Y/n) knew he was. Since he found her two weeks ago during her seizure, his demanour towards her had changed within an instant.

He started popping by to see how she was, asking if she needed anything and checking she wasn't feeling unwell or had had a recent seizure. He said if he heard Axel barking, he would come over if he was home and check on her and two days ago, (Y/n) gave him a spare key for emergencies.

He had even started to tell her when he was on shift so she knew that if he was at home, she could call round if she felt unwell, unsafe or if she needed him for anything.

"Excuse me, miss? Can we help you… dogs aren't really allowed in here," Bobby advanced towards (Y/n), a tender smile on his face and his hand held out in front of him towards Axel to make his point. This was a fire station and they had cleaning standards and expectations. Dogs weren't supposed to be in here. And Bobby had no idea who this girl was.

He didn't know if she was in some sort of emergency and needed to ask for help, if she was lost or if she was here to see one of the team on a social call.

(Y/n) tilted her head down to look at Axel and let go of his lead when he started to bark. He circled around her legs in a continuous loop, rubbing his back up against her legs to signify that she needed to sit down. Right now.

"I-is Evan here?" Her voice shook and she couldn't keep her eyes on the older man who was quickly approaching her with caution in his steps.

Her hand stretched out to rest on Axel's back as she tried to control her shaking legs. She slumped herself down onto the floor and slouched back until her shoulders were pressed up into the wall behind her as a low tremble settled across her body. She watched Axel sit next to her with his front paw on her thigh and his head close to hers like he would talk her through this if he knew how.

"Buck! Chimney, get down here!"

Evan ran a hand over his face and dragged his fingertips down his neck as his eyes locked with Eddie. What was Bobby calling him for? What was going on? The pair of them shared a look before they threw their towels down on the bench and left the gym, wandering out into the main foyer of the station but as soon as Evan's eyes landed on Bobby, he set off into a sprint.

"Don't touch her- leave her she's having a seizure!" Evan could hear footsteps behind him but he blocked them out and stretched an arm out towards Bobby to try and make him stay clear.

(Y/n) was here. She was at the station. She had found him; she thought being here with him would be a safe space for an oncoming seizure.

He bypassed Bobby, nudging him back a step before he crashed down on his knees on (Y/n)'s left side as she had Axel on her right. His hands reached out and gently but firmly cupped (Y/n)'s face in his palms with his thumbs brushing beneath her eyes to see if she was conscious or not.

His worried eyes looked her up and down. All of her body was trembling back and forth and he could feel how tense her neck was and how she was grinding her teeth together that were chattering like she was freezing cold. But she was responsive. Her eyes narrowed on him and followed him when he leaned from left to right, he could see her attention zoned in on him meaning she wasn't unresponsive.

"Evan," His name slipped past her clenched teeth and slightly parted lips in a small huff but it was enough to make him smile gently at her.

"Cap, what's going on?" Chimney juggled a medic bag on his shoulder that he hastily grabbed from one of the trucks and knelt down beside (Y/n)'s outstretched legs, bumping his knee against Evan.

"She came in looking distressed, Buck seems to think she's having a seizure." Bobby stood to the side with both hands on his hips but his eyes kept wandering from (Y/n) to the dog sat beside her. If he hadn't of seen the writing on the dog's harness, Bobby would have tried to move the dog a few feet away. But he was a service dog, there was a reason he was with (Y/n) in here and they couldn't move him now.

"Her name is (Y/n), she's epileptic. Don't touch Axel," Evan let go of (Y/n) and waved his hand out at Eddie to stop him from trying to take Axel's lead and move him away. "He's her service dog, he's sensed it and got her here. He stays there."

"Okay."

"Pupils are reactive, breathing sounds good, let's check her BP." Chimney flashed a light across (Y/n)'s eyes, felt her pulse and watched her breathing in between looking across at Evan. He was back to tilting (Y/n)'s head up to look at him and he peered into her mouth to check she wasn't biting down on her tongue or that she wasn't choking on it.

Evan never told them he had a friend with epilepsy; Chimney didn't even know his friend knew what to do during a seizure episode.

Both (Y/n)'s arms were stretched out on her thighs and her back was juttering back against the wall as she trembled like shockwaves were coursing through her veins. Tears started to fall and traced onto Evan's thumb making him bite down on his lower lip. He preferred a seizure like this where (Y/n) was awake and responsive rather than having her flailing about on the floor in agony, but this meant she was feeling the effects. And clearly, today, those effects weren't good.

"Hey, it's okay, you're gonna be fine. Just focus on me," Evan brushed a thumb beneath her eye to swipe away a tear but his head snapped back to look at Chimney when he spoke up.

"(Y/n), are you in pain?"

Chimney took off the blood pressure cuff once he got an accurate reading and placed her trembling arm back down on her lap, but his eyes focused on her right arm that he directed Evan's attention to.

Her right hand was digging so deeply into the flesh on her thigh that she was drawing blood. She still had some control over her limbs and movements.

Evan jerked back suddenly when (Y/n) raked her hand up her thigh, pulling the hem of her dress with her until it was scarcely covering her underwear but she didn't care. All she cared about was the shooting pains going up and down her legs. Her left leg was numb and void even though it was bashing up and down against the polished floor, but her right leg was on fire. It felt like a horrific version of pins and needles.

Her nerves were sparking and igniting and it was as if someone was continuously stabbing her leg up and down from her hip down to her knee. It was agony. Her nails scratched up and down her thigh again all the way along the side of her leg until blood stuck beneath her fingernails and bubbling scratch marks appeared on her thigh.

"No, no don't do that sweetheart," Reaching across, Evan grabbed her hand and carefully pulled it away from her leg. He didn't know how stiff her arm was going to feel or if he would hurt her by moving her arm but he couldn't let her sit there and hurt herself.

A burning sob racked through (Y/n)'s chattering teeth and she snapped her eyes closed, trying to push herself forward enough to rest her head on Evan's shoulder. She trembled back and forth against his chest and her head jittered in the crook of his neck but he didn't care. Evan curled his right arm around her lower back to hold her close and kept his left hand tangled with hers to stop her from reaching back out to her thigh.

"I know it hurts, but you're gonna be fine. I've got you," Evan whispered the words against the top of her head and before he knew what he was doing, he pressed a delicate kiss against her hair.

He could feel Axel nudging his head against the back of his hand that was on (Y/n)'s back and it almost made him smile.

After a second or two, Evan moved their entwined hands and gently tugged the hem of (Y/n)'s dress back over her thighs so no one could get a glimpse of her underwear or see the scratches swelling up on her thigh. That was the last thing she needed right now.

A gasp left (Y/n)'s lips and her head jerked forward into Evan's neck before a burning cry left her chapped lips. Then another, and another until she was practically screaming into his neck as her legs jolted up and down, bashing harder into the floor like she was in the ocean, flailing about desperately to reach the surface and save her life.

She tried again to move her shaking arm back to her thigh even though her fingers were locked in the grooves of Evan's hand. She managed to claw her nails along her leg before Evan clamped his hand around hers in a deadlock and forcefully pulled her arm until it was pinned into his chest.

"No sweetheart, we're not doing that." There was an authorative tone to Evan's stern voice that was flooded with care and concern.

"Hurts."

"I know it does… let's try something else,"

(Y/n) didn't know what he was talking about but she was willing to let Evan do anything to take away her pain and make her feel a tiny bit better than this. She trembled against his chest and snapped her eyes closed, coiling both arms to her chest when Evan let go of her hands.

His hands stayed on her arms as he shuffled round on his knees until he was behind her. She could feel his colleague, Chimney, still kneeling by her legs and he pressed his fingers against her tremoring ankle to keep a check on her pulse while he counted how long the seizure was lasting. She knew Bobby was crouching down in front of her in case he was needed for any help and the other man, Eddie, was knelt next to Axel, trying to keep him calm.

Evan sat behind her and stretched his legs out before he tightened his thighs to squeeze (Y/n) between his legs. His arms curved back around her and he let her lean back into his chest while his hands came up to rest over both of hers just in case she tried hurting herself again to distract from the agony she felt. He kept his legs so tense his muscles started to ache and with (Y/n) tremoring in his arms, he was rocking back and forth, but he didn't care.

The pressure seemed to make her feel a little bit more at ease and her body relaxed in Evan's arms while her eyes closed and her face tucked back into his neck.

"There we go, hey, that's better." Evan spoke quietly against the side of her head and dragged his eyes up and down her frame that was starting to calm down.

Her legs stopped thrashing against the floor and calmed down to little tremors which caused her heels to bang and scrape against the floor. And her fast breaths started to pace down to deep huffs but her fingers tightened around his hands as if trying to stop him from daring to let go, As if he would.

"I'll give you a few minutes to settle, then I'll take your vitals again. If your muscles relax and everything seems okay, you shouldn't need to go to the emergency room." Chimney left the medic bag near them before he smiled and moved towards Bobby.

They would have to wait for the effects to wear off and for (Y/n) to calm down before he checked her blood pressure and heart rate again to make sure she wasn't in the danger zone. If she didn't experience any muscle spasms or muscles locking up, she should be okay to go back home. (Y/n) would know what was normal for her and what was dangerous or abnormal. It was up to her whether she thought she needed medical attention or not.

"You did so great," Evan mumbled before he pressed his lips to the side of her head and squeezed his thighs to hold her tighter. "And you came here. You're much safer here than on the street."

Evan was proud she remembered which fire house he worked at and that she and Axel had found their way here instead of going into a nearby store or staying on the street. She was safe here, she was protected and cared for and in safe hands. And Evan was here. He had made a promise to himself that he would look out for (Y/n) and try to look after her if she needed him to and he was so relieved she had come here today.

"You s-said you'd help me," (Y/n) leaned into his touch and slouched down against his chest, smiling lightly. Evan had done so much more than he needed to, he didn't need to help or go above and beyond to care for her but he had anyway and (Y/n) was more than thankful.

She felt Axel rest his head on her and Evan's thighs as he laid down beside them, calm now that (Y/n) was out of her seizure and around someone Axel knew now to be a safe person.

She tilted her head back on his shoulder to look up at him with a dazed smile and blown pupils that could stare no where else but at the man behind her. Even the pain in her leg was starting to dull down and fade into the background with her focus being on Evan instead.

"And I think I know a way you can help me,"

"How?" (Y/n) let her eyes fall closed when Evan curled his right hand to cup the back of her head so he could press a tender kiss against her flushed temple while his lips curved into a smile against her skin.

"Go on a date with me?"

[flurmitcraff]

Half-Foods v Mumbo Jumbo:

Maybe I'm just odd but the whole suit against Mumbo is my favorite ongoing storyline and the one thing I'm most excited for.

Been keeping tabs on its development over the past month or so and what makes it so funny to me is that unlike the previous court case of Cleo v Doc where Cleo was completely innocent and Doc was cartoonishly guilty. BOTH sides of this court case are playing dirty or have ulterior motives for pursuing the case.

It started as a noise complaint and then an environmental pollution complaint and we've seen Mumbo be completely unapologetic, doubling down on the noise and ignoring the contamination. He's throwing bricks through windows! we all know this. His talk with Joel and Scar show he's not above bribery or obfuscating the truth to save his ass.

Meanwhile Xb's been doing everything to get his case going. Opening up customer surveys hoping that just maybe with a little promise of a discount you'll complain about Mumbo's shop? *wink wink*. He chose Doc of all people to be his lawyer, who from the get go saw this case as a way of getting revenge on the legal system for sending him to skyblock prison and (claims to have) just passed the bar in florida for this opportunity. He's determined not to lose this case and has considered planting tnt under the courthouse as a contingency. "If the law fails a baseball bat never does". Keralis is there too and he's in it for the money, which he needs so he can gamble at Doc's underground gambling den. Doc is their lawyer. This isn't a conflict of interests its a car pile-up of interests.

Joe wants to be Mumbo's lawyer (fingers crossed) and is possibly the only one who may be involved who is squeaky clean in this mess.

[thegoldencontracts]

Every Unethical Act Azul Has Committed (And Why None Of Them Were Actually Illegal)

We don't even need this list. I know, I know. But it was funny.

Notes: This may seem a bit redundant but clarification, discourse, and the like are always welcome! I'm not a lawyer, so please tell me if I've made any errors.

Slavery- It's legal based on some very specific technicalities that I will go into if you ask - Basically, it's boiled down to he likely can claim this as an employment agreement with a TRAP clause which is unethical but still technically legal. There's been some movements to make it illegal but none have been fruitful yet (not in the US, at least).

Child Labor and Contracts With Minors - The way he went about it is unethical, yes, but this is legal because 1. They were above the legal working age in most states 2. Crowley seems to have agreed to the Mostro Lounge's work and approved their hours and 3. Contracts signed by minors aren't automatically voided, they simply have an option to be voided with parental approval.

Possession of Property - He rendered the main character homeless, which is deeply unethical, but once again, not illegal. They signed the contract agreeing to give him their home, and he didn't actively threaten them. Crowley could be held liable for child neglect, but Azul's hands are (legally but definitely not ethically) scot-free.

Assault - We've never actually received canon proof that Azul attempts murder. Though other Overblotters are shown doing so, Azul hasn't. Also, the reason we stop the overblotters is for their own safety -they'll die if he don't. His true Unique Magic could still count as assault, though. Here, his defense is automastim, though whether it'd be classified as insane or sane I'm not quite sure.

Blackmail - Wording. Wording is everything. Blackmail is a crime, but Azul's wording makes it so he isn't technically blackmailing anyone.

Bribery - See previous section.

Solicitation - When Azul sends out the twins to harass clients. Wording is once again key here. Azul sent them out, by technicality, to 'assist' in dealing with clients. Add onto this that Jade doesn't usually do much in terms of physical harm and suddenly - Would you look at that? Floyd just happened to harm the client. Look at him, so short-tempered. Tsk. He's the only one with legal issues here, not Azul and Jade! (Side-Note: F in the chat for Floyd)

None of this is meant to woobify Azul. In fact, I believe this serves as a testament to his skill with loopholes <3

[faebaex]

Tangled in Wonderland - Pick Your Poison

author note: next part finally! i enjoyed writing Vil, I've never written for him before and really wanted to do a good job. i thought alot about his values and how to put across his character, so i hope it doesn't seem too ooc, as i have never written him before now! next up is Ignihyde, and i'm planning to get that out before the end of the month! I've had an idea for that chapter for months, and i'm really excited to write it and add a little twist ≧✯◡✯≦ hope you enjoy!!

characters: Vil Schoenheit x GN!Reader

Something was definitely up.

Really, you should be relieved. This is what you had wanted all along, the whole reason that you had kept a low profile in the first place. But for some reason, now you just felt disconcerted. Uneasy, like there was an axe hanging above your head, ready to drop any moment.

Azul had still overblot. It wasn’t unexpected, especially considering you were the one who gave the Heartslabyul braincell duo the hot tip on where exactly they should look to get some leverage on Azul. You had no idea of what Leona’s involvement was in the whole situation, if he was at all, and you weren’t present to witness Azul’s overblot. But that wasn’t the part that had you all shaken up.

No.

The part that disturbed you was that Jamil’s overblot still happened, and you had absolutely no involvement in the events. You made sure you stayed well away from Scarabia, from Kalim, from Jamil. Even when you inevitably ran into him in the cafeteria kitchen when you were feeding the fire fairies, you made sure not to stare into his eyes, staring at his lips or anywhere else instead. You excused yourself as soon as possible, even though you were sure you’d aroused Jamil’s suspicions at least a little bit with your flighty behaviour.

You had wondered what the consequences of this would be. Would Jamil’s initial plan be a success and Kalim would end up ousted from his role as housewarden? Would Jamil take his place and finally be satisfied? Would his overblot be avoided altogether?

Clearly not.

You first noticed that something was up when Grim didn’t return back to Ramshackle one afternoon after the two of you had split up the work of feeding the fire fairies. You had hoped that he was just taking his sweet time, but he didn’t return that evening, or the evening after that. You debated with the idea of going and helping him out, but eventually decided not to. You felt a little bad, sure, but you trusted Grim’s tenacity to get him out of trouble.

When Grim finally returned home, he was practically bursting at the seams to tell you everything that had happened during his absence. Such willingness earned him a can of premium tuna, which you kept on hand for bribery. As you had expected, he had spent the last couple of days playing through the story route for book four. After becoming embroiled in the study hell that brainwashed Kalim was forcing on the Scarabia students, Grim escaped only to fall straight into the arms of Octavinelle. From what Grim had told you, book four played out exactly the same as the game, even without your presence, with Octavinelle’s meddling resulting in Jamil’s plan being foiled and him subsequently overblotting. Grim was particularly proud to tell you that even when Azul and the Leech twins had asked about you, he had not said a single peep about you. You gave him another can of premium tuna for that, hoping that one it was true, and two that he would be more inclined to continue being as discrete in the future.

You wondered if book four had continued as planned without your presence because the main character was more passive during that book then they were in all previous books. It was getting harder to wrack your brain and remember all the finer details of each book, especially considering that actually being in Twisted Wonderland when these events were unfolding was giving you seriously nauseating amounts of déjà vu.

All of these feelings led you to your next plan of action. With the culture fair fast approaching, that meant that book five was also on the horizon. And that meant you would have to deal with Vil Schoenheit. You’d been lucky enough to avoid any interactions with him at all since arriving in Twisted Wonderland, and you wanted to keep that streak going, preferably. You needed to not participate in the SDC at all, and you definitely couldn’t have the NRC Tribe staying at Ramshackle.

So yet again, you kept your head down. You didn’t go to the audition with Ace and Deuce, although you did feel bad enough about ditching them to watch their practices once or twice. When Rook’s message on an arrow summoned you to the Pomefiore ballroom after school with Ace and Deuce, you refused to attend. The Heartslabyul duo were confused at your outright refusal, but you managed to convince them that you had no interest in the SDC and simply wanted to focus all your energy on finding a way home. They both seemed to accept that, even if they found your behaviour a little odd.

That resulted in the Headmage paying you a rare visit in the library a few days later. He had implored you to find ‘enough kindness in your heart’ to share Ramshackle dorm with the SDC members. You had refused, of course, even after he tried to sweeten the deal by promising to pay for renovations to Ramshackle, which you knew were never going to happen. Crowley even had the audacity to promise to increase his exploration in a way home for you, which very almost had you throwing one of the books you had in front of you at him. You didn’t particularly want to upset the library ghosts. You managed to chase off Crowley by using the opening he had given you when he had brought up your home situation, with you pressing the Headmage on what exactly he had been doing this whole time. You were hoping that was the end of it, and if you just kept your head down and refused to cooperate, you could stay safely in the background.

But of course that wasn’t the end of it, because for some reason everyone at Night Raven College wanted to test your patience, even if you hadn’t officially met them yet.

You had left the library late that night, having gotten carried away reading one of the books you had sourced. Whilst the books that you read in an attempt to figure out a way home were often dense and confusing, you often came across interesting sections. You’d never dreamed that you’d be reading textbooks about magic, real magic, so it was so easy to get lost when interesting tidbits about forgotten magical practices or magical artifacts came up. You were startled when one of the library ghosts gave you a not so gentle fright to let you know it was late and you should probably go home, and you didn’t need any more persuading.

You were sure that Grim had probably fended for himself for dinner and you wondered if he would be that upset if you snagged one of his tins of tuna for himself as you crossed over the threshold into Ramshackle. You yawned, not bothering to cover your mouth, and attempting to stretch your stiff shoulders and back as you slowly ambled through the walkway towards the kitchen.

“If you paid more attention to your posture, you wouldn’t be feeling stiff at all.”

You froze in the walkway when you heard that familiar voice that shouldn’t feel familiar.

You doubled back several steps until you were looking in through the doorway towards the lounge, where none other than Vil Schoenheit sat on your couch, demurely sipping from one of your mugs. Your expression must have said it all, because he brought the mug away from his lips and raised an elegant eyebrow at you.

“Must you gawk? It does nothing for your features.”

You hadn’t even realised your mouth was hanging open, and you promptly snapped it shut. “What are you doing here?” You stuttered out before you managed to regain some of your composure, “I told the Headmage I wasn’t interested in hosting the NRC Tribe, so if he told you that—”

“I know what you said. I’m here because I think you should reconsider.” Vil remarked, a certain haughtiness in his tone that told you he thought you were being unnecessarily difficult. He gestured toward a free seat on the sofa, as if it was his lounge, not yours.

You blinked, slightly taken back by the audacity before you leaned heavily on the doorframe, pinching the bridge of your nose as that familiar feeling of frustration that you got when you had to deal with any of characters pestering you began to build in your bones. “Look—” You began.

“No, sit. We will be having a proper discussion about this.” Vil cut you off with an air of authority, one wielded by someone who often got their way, one way or another. Your eyes narrowed, your hand dropping from your face so Vil could feel the full impact of your disdain. “This is my dorm, Schoenheit, you should be treating me with more respect. You can’t order me around here.”

Vil gave you a smile that was as demeaning as it was beautiful. “Of course. But we are both housewardens, and housewardens should treat each other with mutual respect, no? The least you could do is give me the courtesy of a discussion.”

If you never had to deal with another housewarden again, it would be too soon.

You huffed but relented, moving over towards one of the sofas and all but threw yourself down, with elicited another eyebrow raise from Vil. Your phone tumbled out of your pocket on impact, lighting up in all its cracked glory and drawing Vil’s eye. “You should really get that fixed.” Vil commented dryly, and you scoffed whilst flipping it over, hiding it from his critical gaze.

“There is nothing you can say that will convince me to host the NRC Tribe here, so you’re just wasting your breath.” You said bluntly, hoping to end this pointless conversation quickly, but Vil didn’t look phased.

“I thought you might say that, so lets just cut to the negotiations. If you allow the NRC Tribe to stay here until the SDC concludes, Rook and I shall donate our share of the prize to Ramshackle dorm. Should we win, of course.” Vil looked at you expectantly, and you rolled your eyes.

“Crowley already tried to bribe me, and I’m not buying it.” You responded cooly, “I don’t intend to stay at Ramshackle, or even Twisted Wonderland, long enough to enjoy any benefit from allowing the NRC Tribe to stay here.” A bluff, considering you had no new leads on how to get home, but Vil didn’t seem to catch on, “also, all that hinges on the NRC Tribe actually winning the SDC. Not saying I don’t have any faith…” Which of course you don’t, you know the outcome. “… But as I’ve already made clear, I really don’t want to host, especially not out the goodness of my heart.”

To his credit, Vil seemed to be mulling over your words, placing his mug of tea down so he could fold his arms gracefully in front of him. “Ah yes, I see… The Headmage did mention you had been researching quite steadfastly. You know, tenacity is the pillar of Pomefiore…” You swear you could see a hint of respect in his eyes as he looked on at you approvingly, before he continued on with his train of thought, “then how about something more short term to sweeten the deal? Such as…” His eyes darted down to your poor phone. “Perhaps I could arrange for your phone to be fixed?”

You scoffed. “Who are you, Azul?” Vil frowned at that comparison, looking a little affronted. Good.

“How about this, then. The NRC Tribe stays here for the time that we need, and that’ll be it. You won’t be expected to carry out any support duties, nor give us any of your time. Furthermore, I’ll provide groceries for the full duration that we are at Ramshackle, and I won’t tell Crowley about it. Perhaps then you can put your living allowance for that month towards something to help with your research? All you need to do is allow us use of your free rooms and living space for a limited period. And of course, if NRC tribe are victorious at the SDC, I still intend to donate my share of the prize to Ramshackle.”

It was a tempting offer.

What you wanted was to not be involved with the SDC at all, and this allowed you to do that. You wouldn’t be the manager, or support in any form. You wouldn’t even have to see the NRC Tribe if you didn’t want to, you’re pretty sure you could negotiate further with Vil that the members weren’t to disturb you at all during their stay. You had already seen how Vil had ruled with an iron fist during the story, if it got him what he wanted, he would see it done.

But… With the NRC Tribe staying at Ramshackle, there was a risk that Ace and Deuce would gravitate towards you, and then Grim would get dragged in, which would likely end with you getting caught up and… You shook your head, looking towards Vil resolutely. “No, that’s not going to work for me. Sorry, but the NRC Tribe are going to have to find somewhere else for their training camp.”

Vil stared at you for a long moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he was studying you before he sighed, twisting his wrist around elegantly to check the time. “I’ll allow you to sleep on it. We can continue this topic again in the morning. Its time for me to retire for the evening, I don’t want to waste the effects of that herbal tea.”

You crooked an eyebrow as Vil stood, following suit shortly after. He drank a sleep tea in your dorm, even though he had to walk back to his own dorm? Odd, but each to their own. Maybe it was a Pomefiore thing? You did vaguely remember from the game that Vil set strict standards for himself…

You followed him out of the lounge, planning on giving him the courtesy of walking him to the door. Whilst he had invaded your home, he had been civil, which was more than you could say about half the other people on campus who pestered you on campus.

Of course, you had no idea just how deeply Vil had taken root in your home during your absence.

As you left the lounge, Vil turned towards the staircase instead of continuing down the walkway to where the main doors lie. “Uh, Vil. Wrong way. The entrance is this way.” You directed politely, only for Vil to continue walking. As he reached the first stair, he looked over his shoulder at you, with a look you could only describe as coy.

“Didn’t I mention, my dear? I’ve already moved in.”

For the second time that evening, your jaw dropped. Was he serious?!

“Vil—” You began, but he was already continuing up the stairs, clearly unbothered by your surprise and discontent. “I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early to continue our discussion. Sleep well, Prefect.”

You could only watch as Vil climbed the stairs and disappeared deeper into Ramshackle, hearing the creaky sound of the door of the room he had chosen opening and closing as he retired for the night. You were rendered absolutely speechless. You had never anticipated something like this happening. Even without agreeing to having the NRC Tribe stay at Ramshackle for their training camp, you still had Vil Schoenheit staying here anyway?! You scrubbed your hands over your tired face in frustration.

Just what else were you in for?

[teleit]

This show is cursed, I swear

Once I started, I can't stop. Can someone explain to me how exactly Addam managed to ride Seasmoke?

I mean, in canon (I mean the book, it's the only source I'll accept, the show is just a hotd-edition adaptation of "My Immortal"), Addam and Alyn are unconfirmed bastards of Laenor, and Addam being able to ride a dragon supports that theory. Of course, Martin wouldn't be Martin if he didn't also give us Nettles with her dubious origins, leaving us wondering if she really does have a drop of Targaryen blood in her veins, or if she's just a girl who managed to ride a dragon through friendship magic and sheeps bribery.

But the show is actively convincing me that you absolutely need to have at least Ariana Grande as a great-grandmother (or Aeriana Targaryen, I'm not sure, all I remember after Rhaenyra found Steffon Darklyn's fanmade family tree is my hysterical howl) to even look at a dragon, and even then the dragon can have a fetish for handsome black men (I understand you, Seasmoke, Addam is fucking gorgeus), and the dragon chooses its own rider (hello to those who were foaming at the mouth while yelling that Aemond stole Vhagar, I see you and you're annoying me).

Corlys hasn't had Targaryen blood for at least the last 130 years. We've known every Targaryen since the Conquerors, and almost everyone since Daenys and Gaemon. If Lord Velaryon ever married a Lady Targaryen, it was at least 200 years ago.

Was this hint of dragonrider blood enough for Seasmoke? Then why look for dragon seeds with nearest Targaryen parent in family tree, just rake out the entire population of Flea Bottom, every third person will have about the same amount of dragon blood in their veins.

If the purity and quantity of Targaryen blood is not important at all, why this prophecy "from my blood the promised prince will be born"? Why fight so fiercely for the dynasty, when any peasant whose great-great-great-great-grandmother was once graced with the attention of some Maegon Targaryen can mount the Cannibal and go deal with the Night King, especially since their help is not needed, Arya Stark can handle it herself.

What is Rhaenyra fighting so hard for when the show has made it clear that she doesn't want power because power is a dirty toy for despicable men, and she is the Gods-chosen Dragon Queen who is above worldly pleasures and blood doesn't matter if you're pretty, morally simple enough for ten-year-olds to empathize with, and can pose for trailers?

Now I'm starting to sound like a purist, disgusting. But unfortunately, that's how ASOIAF works, so I need answers. Please.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick

[notmorbid]

any other family.

dialogue prompts from any other family by eleanor brown.

who gets to say what it means to be a family?

all perfect moments are comprised of small details, are they not?

there just never seems to be enough time.

i am generally filled with rage, these days.

you can't bullshit a bullshitter.

you're always saying how tired you are. let someone help.

it will all work out. it has to.

it is all so complicated, and it was supposed to be so simple.

don't make me do this again.

why didn't you tell me how bad it was?

i've tried to talk to you dozens of times.

i have never felt so far away from you.

people say we're strange. maybe we are.

i don't understand why you're being so stubborn.

when the universe offers you a gift, you say yes.

i am not yours to rescue.

your hearing is highly selective.

do all parents feel like this?

abrupt change is not helpful for anyone.

this is turning out to be the least relaxing vacation in the history of ever.

i must not have prayed hard enough.

you're a terrible example, but most only children turn out okay.

family and money don't mix.

you can't rescue everyone, okay?

i'll figure it out. i always do.

when you say goodbye to something, you also get to say hello to everything that'll take its place.

you've survived 100% of the changes in your life thus far. odds are, you'll survive whatever comes next.

tonight. not 'later'. tonight.

you need to let ___ go.

what the hell is wrong with me? besides everything?

knowing and feeling are two different things.

the only thing we can do is hold hands and walk into the future together. with hope.

you're the only one i can count on to tell me the truth.

everything you do seems easy.

is this what we've been reduced to?

i have a good feeling about this.

everyone needs something to take care of.

why don't you ever stand up to ____?

one of the most amazing things about being a parent is rediscovering things you forgot were amazing.

we are a family now, whether we like it or not.

isn't it nice having someone to share the load, every once in a while?

you should take up drinking. it has all sorts of side benefits.

i told you [name] was a bitch.

i felt better when we weren't talking about it.

when i am ready for help, i will ask for help.

i am a gordian knot of emotions, and i cannot bear to cut through it.

what are we but the sum of our experiences?

what's the use of living if we can't apply our pasts to our presents?

you always seem so calm and confident.

we're still going to be a family, though, right?

if only parenthood came with scheduled alerts on coming changes and crises.

i didn't have to be your mother, i get to be your mother.

you are smart and silly and amazing and curious, and i love you very, very much.

i would have said yes to anything, to make the pain end.

i'm sad. it sucks. what else is there to say?

i can't imagine going through that alone.

you must be so strong.

i just want to burn it all down.

a relationship is a series of promises.

i am not above bribery.

it's not a family vacation without a few trips to the emergency room.

it's intimidating to be around you.

you probably came out of the womb punching.

it doesn't do us any good to be comparing, does it? we aren't the same people.

i've never been good at crying.

it's amazing how you can be right next to someone and have no idea what they're thinking.

you don't have to do this alone. you don't have to pretend to be okay when you're not.

you have to talk to someone. it's too much to carry if you don't.

i don't need reminders. i think about it every day.

i said ____ could spend the night, not move in.

your eyes are like cartoon saucers.

i'm sorry i didn't realize how unhappy you were.

[tf2occontest]

Dr. Valentina Rosa García, The RED Chemist VS The Courier

(Full matchup list here)

Alright team, here's a recap: This is a contest to determine who amongst you will take the top of the leaderboards and be hired at TFI! Simply put, whoever gets the most votes gets to move on, and whoever doesn't... Well. They'll be put down swiftly and cleanly. :}

So, mann your stations, because here are your next contestants! Vote for your favorite mercenary who you want to win the TF2 OC Contest! - P

OC INFO UNDER THE CUT!

We highly encourage you to take a peek to make your decision!

Dr. Valentina Rosa García, The RED Chemist

@archerwolfposts

Image credit: @/archerwolfposts

The RED Chemist uses her doctorates I pharmaceuticals, toxicology, and biochemistry to explore the limits of the world's chemistry, which includes other people, especially the enemy team. Underneath the mask, the RED Chamist can come across as cheery and passive to a fault as a front to make her appear as non-threatening as possible to her coworkers. While she knows everyone is supposed to be equals, the Chemist is very aware of how she's perceived as just how many odds are stacked against herself. Knowing she may not always be seen as an equal, she would rather not be perceived as an obstacle, lest someone decide to poke around for projects that must stay between the RED Chemist, Miss Pauling, and the Administrator. The RED Chemist is a woman of many thoughs outside of her genius, shrouding the complicated perception of the intersections between her morality, her occupational duty and the cruelty is requires, and her own scientific curiosities. That being said, her scientific curiosities couple well and flourish within her occupational duties, making her more likely to sidestep her moral obligations as a human being for the sake of satiating herself and her higher ups.

The Courier

@sicc-nasti

Image credit: @/sicc-nasti

Do you like receiving your mail on time and your packages in pristine condition - untouched by curious hands and peeping eyes? Do you love when your woefully embarrassing love letters filled with poetry from your soul are delivered with the utmost care and secrecy? Does it fill you with glee when your special snacks you ordered overseas finally make its way into your hands and not a SINGLE piece is missing?

If you said yes to any of these questions then WOW do I NOT have the guy for you!!!!

Instead-

TFI presents you something you didn't know was possible OR legal - weaponized postal services!

Meet your 10th Class-

The Courier!

By intercepting and opening someone else's mail, an individual can gain access to confidential information that can be used for identity theft, fraud, or other illegal activities. And we wouldn’t want that, now would we? That's why our solution to this simple problem is bringing the mail to the battlefield! Courier is equipped with MANN CO approved disposable stackable mail crates for your climbing or shielding needs. Just think of how nice it would be to build a tower to do taunts on or have cover from that enemy Heavy's hail of bullets. Sure it's clunky but nothing shreds paper faster than a bullet - that's science tested and math approved by TFI scientists! And monkeys!

Courier is THE MANN for the job.

If that ain't enough to catch your attention, let's take a peek at the men behind the uniform.

RED’s Courier is a Puerto Rican ex-felon hailing from the greatest place on earth! New York City! With an insatiable appetite for all things fraud, deli meats, and violence - what more could you ask from a guy?

BLU's Courier is a Puerto Rican-Italian ex-con plucked from the greatest place on earth! Jersey City! With an insatiable appetite for all things smuggling, deli meats, and violence - what more could you ask from a guy?

Not enough for a vote?

Well, listen, I'm not above bribery. If you vote for them, Courier promises to not read your mail for like a week and INSTEAD- will write you up a totally not fraudulent marriage certificate to any merc you want!! Just think! Finally legally married to Heavy! Or Engie! How’s that sound for incentive, boss?

THROUGH RAIN, SHINE, BULLET HAIL OR SNOW, THEY’RE YOUR COURIER.

VOTE FOR COURIER IN THIS UPCOMING TF2 OC CONTEST

Maybe there’ll be enough in the budget for a third one!

[euphoricbi]

You mentioned Chris fucking you with flour on his hands? 👀

BASICALLY.. what i was thinking was basically a diff version of the domestic couple fic i did with chris. hes so prettty omf g.

so I'll do like an.. nsfw vers. of it . :3

HEAVY SMUT UNDERCUT

Your eyes began to open as you slowly began to wake up, your eyes adjusting to the light. You felt an arm around your waist making you feel safe, you nuzzled a slight into the supple skin of your lover's pecs.

You heard a soft groan from above your head, causing you to look up, eyes landing on Chris. Chris opened his eyes and looked down at you, a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey, beautiful." He said, yawning afterwards, he raised his hand to your cheek, brushing your skin with his thumb.

"Mnh, morning breath." You mumbled out, leaning upwards to place a kiss on his lips, despite his breath. He chuckles after returning the kiss, "So my breath stinks— And you still decide to kiss me? Must be real love."

Chris let out a small laugh, kissing you again before you spoke, "Do you have work today?" He shook his head no, "No, they're letting me relax for a bit." You smiled, sitting up.

"Okay! We're cooking today. So get up, and get ready." You said cheerfully as Chris gave you a, 'really?' sort of look as you then nodded. Chris sat up stretching his arms, as you got out of the bed, throwing on something comfortable. "Meet you in the kitchen, slowpoke." Grinning, you exited the bedroom making your way to the kitchen, you grabbed the materials to make pancakes and waited for Chris.

It didn't take more than a few seconds as he entered, wearing a gray shirt and matching sweatpants. "Pancakes?" He said as he looked around the kitchen, his strong arms coming to a halt over his chest. You batted your eyelashes at him for bribery reasons, he looked at you stepping closer. "Fine, let's make the batter." He responded, leaning closer to you as he grabbed the flour, which you purposefully put behind you. You grabbed his arm before he pulled away, "I'm mixing it, okay?" Chris would snicker, "Yeah."

You stay there locking eyes for a bit before he pressed the flour to your chest, his other arm gripping the counter behind you. You open the flour, stuffing your hand in, pulling out some and blowing it onto his chest. "Oops."

"Oops?" He questioned as he tried wiping the flour off, getting it on his hands. "You're in big trouble." He raised his hand up, grabbing your throat gently leaning his head closer to you. "Turn. Around."

Chris released you, admiring the flour in the shape of his hand on your neck as you took the time to bend over the counter behind you.

Chris lowered your bottoms and spreading your ass cheeks open, snickering. "So pretty, all for me." You shivered as you looked back, seeing him take out his throbbing cock. Chris spat down onto his member, rubbing the tip on your hole.

"Chr—Chris . . " You sighed out at the friction as you backed your body up a bit, trying to speed him up.

"Hey , don't get impatient." He chuckled, gripping your hips and holding you still as he slowly thrusted in. You both let out sighs of relief as he bottomed out in you.

Chris glanced at your neck again, then placed his flour covered hand on your ass, gripping. He pulled his hips back then thrusted forwards, trying to find a steady pace.

You inhaled sharply, his thrusts knocking the air out of you, "Chris— Feels so.. ngh. So goo—" pausing as a particular thrust caused you to moan out, as Chris leaned forward, knocking over the flour in the process.

The loud and obscene noises of him fucking you clouded your mind as he placed an arm firmly around your stomach, pounding into you.

"F-Fuck.." He groaned out, as your eyes rolled back, cumming for the first time in the day. Chris gasped, as his hips stuttered, "Fuck, did you cum? I want you to cum again..B-But I gotta please myself." He purred into your ear as he shoved his cock fully inside you, emptying his load. He whimpered a slight as you moaned out at the warmth inside of you, feeling his cock twitch as he let out his semen.

Chris slowly backed up, looking down at your body seeing it covered with his flour covered hand prints, causing his cock to twitch.

"You look so hot.." He mumbled.

"Chris? I-I'm tired—" You leaned up a bit, before being pushed down by him, gently.

"No no, I said I wanted you to cum again, didn't I? We're not done yet."

[quinncupine]

Pumpkin Pranks

I thought it would be fun to write a little silly fic featuring teen Eri! and her Halloween pranks.

Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Word Count: 800

QUINN'S MASTERLIST

"Hey Honey," Izuku walked through the door and lazily slipped off his shoes. "I'm home."

Silence greeted him, but he knew that couldn't be the case. You said you'd be home all afternoon, getting everything ready for tonight's party. He could still smell the lingering sweet scent of whatever you had decided to bake.

"Y/N?" He ventured into the kitchen, eyeing the plate of steaming pumpkin cookies that just begged to be eaten. "Hello?"

Still no response. Maybe you stepped out to get some supplies?

His stomach rumbled as he neared the plate. There was no time to eat lunch today because some villain thought it would be a good idea to rob the bank just down the street from his agency. Needless to say, things were handled quickly, but he still had to fill out paperwork over the event during his lunch break.

Those cookies sat there, mocking him, in all their pumpkin spicy glory, just waiting to be eaten by one rather hungry hero. Surely you wouldn't miss just one cookie? A quick glance around the empty apartment and he grabbed one off the top.

A warty goblin's face popped out from behind the cookies with a loud "BOO!"

Startled, Izuku dropped the cookie with a yelp and crashed into the counter behind him.

On the other side of the island was someone wearing a little gremlin mask, cackling. She removed the mask and nearly doubled over as she tried to catch her breath. You popped up next to her, hand over your mouth as you giggled through your fingers.

"Eri!" Izuku sputtered, face red as he tried to compose himself. "When did you get here?"

"Y/N picked me up from school." Eri finally managed to taper down her chortles and grabbed a cookie. "You should've seen the look on your face! And I got it on film! Kota's gonna love that."

As she laughed, you plucked the cookie from her hand. "Ah-ah, no sweets before dinner. Now, go wash up. Mirio and Aizawa are going to be here soon."

Eri pouted but set down the mask and headed for the bathroom. When she passed Izuku, she tackled him in a quick hug and then sprinted down the hallway.

You took a bite out of the cookie with a wink and sauntered around the island where your husband smirked at you.

"So, you picked up Eri?" He grabbed the cookie from your hand, or tried to anyway.

You pulled it out of his reach with a giggle and instead gave a sneaky kiss in its place. His hand snaked around your waist to pull you close and deepen the kiss.

"What happened to no sweets before dinner?" He asked once he pulled away, tasting the slightest bit of pumpkin on his lips.

"Ah, you're right," you sighed, hovering just above his lips and turned away. "No sweets then."

He only tightened his grip on you and tucked you firmly into his arms with a grin. "I suppose I can make an exception." He laughed and kissed you sweetly.

"Hey, is that a cookie!" Eri said behind you, hands on her hips.

Surprised, you both jumped away from each other. She smirked as you both blushed pink from being caught by the teen.

"It is!" She marched over and crossed her arms. "And what exactly were you two getting up to,hmm? In front of a poor innocent child, I might add."

"Innocent my butt," you muttered, not able to hide your exasperated chuckle. "Fine. One cookie. Don't tell Aizawa." You locked your pinky with hers.

She snatched a cookie off the pile and took a large bite. "Bribery? Not very heroic, Y/N."

"Says the one who's eating said bribe. What's with all this hero talk, huh? I thought you wanted to be a doctor or an awesome nurse like me?"

"I haven't decided yet," she chewed thoughtfully. "But maybe if I get another cookie, I could see the possibility of looking into medical school."

"She's been hanging out with you too much," Izuku tittered, glancing between the two of you. "She's turning into a mini you."

You crossed your arms, "And what's so wrong with that?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Eri mimicked, a mock scowl on her face.

He froze as he stared at the double glare leveled at him and raised his hands slowly. "…This is a trap. I'm just gonna go take my shower now."

Izuku escaped before he incurred any more wrath, and as soon as he disappeared, you both broke into laughter.

"Hey, do you think we can scare Mirio when he walks in? Oh, what about Dad?" She picked up the mask with a menacing grin.

"If you can manage to scare Aizawa, then I'll give you twenty bucks."

"You're on!"