#I'm mostly a stupid so this is my brain done for the day !!

[inchidentally]

I've got a few asks that are all actually roughly under the same umbrella in terms of my replies - and be aware I've had to get way more serious then usual so pls skip if you're not here for that <3

mmmmm yea you can feel as you want anon but I personally am not going to want to parallel that relationship with Oscar and Lily's. my main cause when it comes to wives and girlfriends is that they all deserve to be protected against rampant, casual misogyny in fandom spaces. but also to not to project any reflected good will onto her boyfriend or husband simply because he's the boyfriend or husband. and there's so much about the 2000s drivers that makes me hope that at least some of their behavior isn't being carried on with the current younger guys on the grid :///

also just as a reminder: I was raised by intersectional feminists and I've witnessed what even supposedly "loving" het relationships can do to people who identify as women* - so I'm never going to be rooting for heterosexual relationships as far as women are concerned. I'm not overly prejudiced and I fully support any woman's choices for herself - and I don't have the smallest delusion that I have a right to an opinion on those choices <3 but equally I'm not going to lie to myself that women don't statistically always lose or sacrifice something of themselves when they become a partner to a man and that the man loses and sacrifices nothing - and if he makes the most basic effort he's praised as a god among men. especially not a man who's career has and will always take priority over his relationship and especially if the woman has to navigate or alter her life to deal with the man's profession, public image or his fanbase. I will always want women to pursue life on their own terms without men in any way dragging them down or altering their lives - that's just my opinion and it's fine if others disagree or hopefully project onto those relationships for any reason. so far, to me, the only driver's relationships that seem at all truly balanced and not negatively affecting or requiring compromises of the women that the man doesn't have to repay, are Lily and Alex and Melissa and Nando - and while I don't know much about them probably Tiffany and Valtteri. those women were already fully adults when they met these guys and would be able to leave the relationships whenever they want without having their own individual lives and incomes affected or altered in any way. I do not see any excuse for a woman to be in a relationship in any other way or with any further sacrifice and especially not because of a man, who will always enjoy economic and social power above hers.

*I know this is a whole unique point but as far as I'm concerned identifying as a woman is how I'm referring to women at any time. TERFs DNI.

-

ok so I've heavily edited these next two bc my blog is not the place to get into All That and I don't want to bring stress and negativity to moots

I think the funniest part of this rumor is how everyone's been asking for a screen recording of this and absolutely no one can produce anything other than one screencap of Rebecca at one brief time offering subscription content with no explanation for what - and that was something all models and influencers did for a while to make some money when a bunch of platforms screwed over their engagement. everyone's just running with this as if it's anyting and wtfff you're saying all she was offering were 'pictures of Carlos from the back' LIKE BFFR what are y'all even saying here ??? who was being robbed what crime was committed how is this even worth remembering ??? the reach being rought!!

but on the serious side, I'm gonna need all of you to sit yourselves in a quiet place and start taking this spontaneous and erratic morality that magically shows up when women are involved and start actually applying it to your pookie bears in F1. because not only does Carlos and the rest of the grid exploit the media, fans and sponsorships for cash, gifts, engagement and popularity - they also endorse and personally directly fund and engage with entire companies and individuals who actively perpetuate and uphold the absolute gutter of amorality and social iniquity that is the foundation of this whole sport !!

like here you guys are hunting for any tiny scrap of something to further the prejudice that these wives and girlfiends are not your ideas of Perfect Pure Sainted Angels - meanwhile you're looking at hugely problematic words and actions from your favorite driver and literally assuming that they've suddenly "had a change of heart" or are "better people now" based on ???? nothing ???? and THEN you start hoping that the girlfriend or wife is "good for him" or that she won't "be bad for him" I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind since when does a girl or woman over the age of 15 think that rich, powerful white men in hugely problematic fields of work are the ones being cruelly corrupted by the women they personally choose to date ??? if these men are shitheads then they did it all on their own babes !!

and I have to assume that even die hard Carlos fans on here are aware of how he's very much not perfect and that anyone sensible has to admit that unless he made the decision to publicly and loudly make a statement to the contrary then all of his opinions and affiliations are the same. you can absolutely compartmentalize these guys - we all do! - in order to like certain things about them or engage in content about them, but nobody should be out here so woman-hating as to take nothing of substance and use it to award these men virtues that have no foundation in reality. all while vilifying their wives and girlfriends over literally the smallest thing or making the most tenuous of connections to try and prove why they shouldn't be with your fave guy. or because while the men can fuck and cheat all they want, you've decided the women they date or marry have to conform to regressive ideas of female purity.

(just to clarify, the stuff I'm referring to "men" or "drivers" as doing is not specifically referring to Carlos or one man in particular but about the wider issue of double standards between drivers and their girlfriends and wives)

so a wife or gf of a man with an all-consuming career that involves her altering her life and plans to go all over the world just to be with him, decides to do exactly what he does and utilize a fanbase and popularity for gain? suddenly she's an evil conniving witch capable of manipulating and controlling poor widdle rich, white, powerful, influential man !! even though he dumps women and cheats on women whenever he wants and doesn't face a single bit of criticism for fans' perceptions of problems in his relationships but oh he's just a helpless hard-working victim who is nobly doing his dream job that his one percenter family and/or social status and/or race and gender made completely effortless for him and how DARE his wife or girlfriend get any of the financial benefit from a field of sports where women are so hated that even the most powerful woman is publicly accused by the highest authority in the sport of collusion based on nothing more than one gossip columnists lie !!

I could go so fucking far about how the women these men date and marry have been socially groomed from birth to be beautiful and silently supportive of their man and told they're not good enough or smart enough to succeed in a "serious" business environment - and that the drivers conveniently always end up with beautiful women who suffer at the hands of his fans who blame women for how men treat them all while he says nothing so as not to upset his base of support - then fuck it, let them all sell you people subscriptions for pictures of the drivers! let them scrape even a tiny fraction off the top of this imbalanced and unfair socioeconomic dynamic compared to the huge, unearned kickbacks and handshakes that make these men so effortlessly successful and rich. you can see those subscriptions as payment on your part for spreading rumors and hate about women and using double standards.

the rich famous man will NOT change his life to either fit your rpf ship - or to stay single so that you can continue your parasocial relationship with him uninterrupted - or choose a woman based on who you deem to be an appropriate self-insert. no matter how many rumors you believe or spread or how often you post content hating on his partner, his choice will not be affected by you. so keep those delusions and misogyny to yourself - or at least away from my blog and inbox !

honestly anon, I've already known the content of all of your messages over the past few months and I'm choosing the least offensive one for a reason to post (edited ofc so no one can accuse me of slander or whatever)

listen: if I was at all saying that Carlos is unproblematic or publicly promoting him in any way then I'd absolutely deserve what you're saying. but for myself personally, Carlos is part of am f1blr specific hyperfixation where I stay on my blog and write stupid narratives using drivers for fun. I'm not contributing anything to his overall fanbase or giving him any of my financial or personal support. I stick to fandom spaces only and not any platform that the drivers or anyone in wider F1 circles use.

and the thing is that not only would it be putting the burden of his problematicness on me if I were to post your asks bc I alone would have to answer for them, it would also probably just be informing people of what's fully and easily available to find elsewhere. everyone I mutually follow and most people I see are fully aware that we're taking these men and for the most part using them for our own fanon rather than their actual reality. so for me to pick one driver and say look at these awful realities then I'd have to do that with all of them, including the drivers who are at all friendly with known problematic drivers and people. so while I totally understand if someone wants to kick all of F1 out of their fandom experience bc Men then jfc absolutely go for it. I'm not at all pretending that what I'm doing on my blog is worth the smallest shit! but me deciding to pick one driver out of all of them to put on blast would do nothing but make me a hypocrite and rightfully have people asking me why I don't talk about this or that driver too.

and quite frankly unless someone never supports with any male-majority content and solely focuses all of their time to intersectional feminist content then there ain't a leg to stand on to blast any other fanbase or focus on one particular person. it's fully fair to be critical! but not to get on a high horse if there's even one cishet man in your list of fandom things. honestly that could even be broadened in some cases to one cis man.

absolutely, take the truth to people who are out there on public platforms trying to claim that any of these drivers are saints and perfect humans where they could potentially be recruiting to a fanbase using false narratives and covering up problematic behavior. but ask yourself if you're time is best spent mostly attacking women and girls in fanbases over this or going right to the comments and tags that squarely target the men themselves.

but on here I've got to kind of assume we all know what the score is and nobody's in denial that these are mere Rich Powerful Men and none of them deserves our actual serious allegiance yk ??? I feel like we're all aware this is us having fun and we're all accepting that while we can block and blacklist tags based on personal preferences, none of us in f1blr who likes a male driver can pretend to be superior to liking a different one. at best they're better at keeping their mouths shut but they also permit and overlook a LOT. and yes, that includes Lewis even though my god he has a gigantic lead on the rest in terms of progressive actions and deeds compared to any other man in F1. and that while he still has unaddressed problematic associations and behavior, all of us white fans need to be fucking vigilant of going after him if we're not fully going ten times harder on the white drivers.

[cosycryptid]

Steve slowly realises way more customers end up actually renting something when he flirts a little with them. So for the sake of making sure he gets the Christmas bonus him and Robin were promised if they hit a certain target, he stops being picky about who he flirts with and starts turning his charm on for literally every adult who walks into the store.

It works surprisingly well. At first he's worried that some of the guys who come in might try to punch him, but he's mastered the art of being subtle with his smiles and compliments. So they mostly just have a pleasant chat with him and leave feeling conflicting emotions and carrying a movie they hadn't planned to rent, but somehow felt compelled to. When Steve and Robin get good feedback from the manager for their consistently improved rental figures, Robin starts encouraging Steve to keep it up.

The only issue is because he's spending pretty much every day flirting with people at work, it becomes second nature to him and he does it in his personal life. Most of the time he does it without even realising, but there are the rare embarrassing occasions where he catches himself saying or doing something that would not be interpreted the way he meant it to be.

One of the worst was when he dropped the kids off at the Byers' place for a sleepover and when Joyce thanked him for getting them there safe, he said, "Anything for you, Joyce," in an unintentionally suggestive tone and winked at her.

He got about half way down the driveway before practically running back to her with a bright red face, apologising profusely. "I'm so sorry, that came out really weird. I just meant that like I think of you as a mom and - no wait, shit, that makes it sound weirder." He had to take a breath to find the words and it came out stiff and unnatural when he said, "I appreciate everything you've done for us all and if you ever need help with anything you can always ask me."

The party witnessed the entire interaction and relentlessly tease him about it and mimic what he said while making kissy faces every time he's scolding them for doing or saying something stupid. They only stop when Will tells them to because that's his mom and he doesn't want to relive that weird, uncomfortable moment where Steve sounded like he was trying to proposition her.

An even worse occurrence happened not long after, when Hopper saw Steve standing around by his car, waiting for the kids to get their shit together and get out of the arcade. Hopper was on patrol, so he called over to him jokingly, "Loitering is a criminal offence, you know."

And Steve, before he could stop it, put one hand on his hip, brushed the other through his hair and said, "Are you gonna cuff me for it, Hop?"

Steve's blood ran cold in the deafening silence that followed where they looked at each other with horrified expressions, but Hopper managed to collect himself quickly. "I'm going to forget you just said that because I know that's not how you meant it to come out."

Steve couldn't look him in the eye when he quietly responded, "That would be really great, thank you."

He also had a weird moment with Jonathan, when he and Nancy walked into Family Video - which to be fair is Steve's main flirting ground - one afternoon later that week.

"So I heard you tried to flirt with both my parents?" Jonathan opened with.

And instead of more blushing and apologising, something unhinged in Steve's brain made him lean forward and say, "You jealous, Jonathan?" and even more wild is the fact that his body thought it would be a great idea to press his index finger to the middle of Jonathan's chest as he said it.

Jonathan looked at him, wide eyed, and only found himself able to let out a blank sounding, "Um."

Nancy, however, stared him down and said, "He's taken, Steve."

Steve pulled his hand away like he'd been burnt as soon as he caught on to what she meant.

And because Steve is a disaster, what was meant to be an assurance that he would never go for Nancy's partner, comes out entirely different.

“Relax, I’m not after your boyfriend. I have much better taste. Like… you, for example." It dawned on him that his tone had been way off as both Nancy and Jonathan stared at him like he had grown an extra head. "That sounded better in my brain. I've moved on, I swear. I meant my past relationships show that my type is not Jonathan. No offence, Jonathan, you are a good looking guy, like you're unconventionally handsome and it's kind of charming... I need to shut up."

He heard himself digging a deeper hole but couldn't make it stop.

"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" Robin said, slapping him on the shoulder. "You're supposed to flirt with customers, not everyone."

"I'm sorry, I was going for reassuring this time. Why does everything I say sound wrong lately?" Steve groaned with his face pressed to his hands.

"If it makes it any better, it totally would have worked on me if I was single and into guys," Jonathan shrugged.

"No, Jonathan. That doesn't make it better." Steve snapped in response.

Eddie is blissfully unaware of this new development, until he invites Steve and Robin to one of Corroded Coffin's shows.

Steve can't keep his eyes off Eddie the entire time, and it seems as if Eddie notices and thinks it's weird because Robin definitely notices and announces to Steve that he's being weird. Also, Eddie's eyes keep flitting over to him and he definitely messed up a note or two at some point, which must mean Steve's weird behaviour is throwing Eddie off. Steve tries his best to stop but he keeps doing it so in the end he just lets himself stare and decides he'll explain it to Eddie later.

Then someone tries to approach Eddie at the side of the stage after their set, looking at him with an expression Steve recognises as one that says 'come home with me'. And he feels awful about it because he should let Eddie have that with someone, especially after all the shit he's been though, but his traitorous feet carry him through the crowd to steal Eddie's attention before the person can get there. Robin's left to follow after Steve like a parent chasing a toddler who's running with a sharp object.

Eddie's got no clue that Steve just ruined some potential action for him as he downs a bottle of water so quickly some of it drips down his shirt. Steve's brain suddenly goes 'wow I wish I was that bottle of water', which he will admit catches him off guard because where the fuck did that thought come from? All the other times he'd behaved like this, it was without any thought at all until after the fact. He's also weirdly satisfied when he notices the person who was coming over to talk to Eddie is walking away dejectedly.

"Hey, you guys made it!" Eddie says, his face lighting up as he notices Steve and Robin standing there.

"Of course we did," Robin smiles.

Eddie gives both of them a hug, but Steve's seems to linger a little longer and Steve has to fight himself not to lean in closer and smell Eddie's hair because that's a really fucking weird impulse, especially since Eddie is all sweaty from performing.

"So, what did you think?" Eddie asks, a slightly nervous tone in his voice.

"You were awesome," Steve says, and mentally pats himself on the back for saying something that sounds normal.

"Really?" Eddie asks hopefully.

Something about the look in his eyes makes Steve's chest feel strange. Which is the only explanation he has for immediately demolishing his winning streak against his flirty tendencies.

He means to compliment Eddie on how talented he is at playing guitar. That's what he tells himself anyway.

What actually comes out of his mouth is, "Yeah, you're really good with your hands, Eddie," and it sounds absolutely filthy with the low tone of Steve's voice and the little lip bite he does after, all while leaning in close and making eye contact. There is no room for interpretation at all, but Steve doesn't feel the usual panic and embarrassment that comes when he accidentally does something flirtatious. Huh.

Even more surprising, when Eddie closes the gap even further, raises an eyebrow at him and says, "You should see what they can do when there isn't a guitar in the way, sweetheart," it doesn't throw Steve off one bit, he only feels a spark of excitement at the challenge.

"Maybe I will," he replies, his gaze darting between Eddie's lips and his eyes. And yeah, he's pretty much realised that he's just intentionally flirting with Eddie at this point. He's hoping he'll leave with him because they can't exactly kiss in front of a bar full of people.

"Oh my God," Robin groans, exasperated, and both boys break apart. "Could you take me home before I have to witness anymore of this? It's bad enough watching you flirt when you don't know you're doing it, Steve."

"Shit, sorry, Robin," Steve apologises. "Yeah, I'll drive you home." Robin thanks him, says goodbye to Eddie and starts walking towards the exit. Steve turns back to look at Eddie. "See you later," he smiles, but when he's about to turn to follow Robin, he feels ringed fingers wrap firmly around his wrist.

"Yeah, you will," Eddie responds, his tone still flirty and his eyes watching Steve with purpose. "Your place or mine, big boy?"

[loveroffemmes]

Picking Sides | Mari Ibarra x Fem! Reader

warning: one-shot with smut, situationship, jealousy, jealous sex, possessiveness, possessive sex, both of your first times, fingering

summary: mari and shauna won't stop fighting and you keep having to break it up. mari's pissed that you don't defend her, she's pissed because she feels like shauna's caught your eye. maybe it's time to talk about the feelings you guys refuse to ever address.

this is my favorite thing that I've written on here!! wooo :)

"I fucking hate her." Mari grumbles. Shauna had tackled Mari and bit her during our 'capture the flag' game; so here I was, kneeled in front of Mari, cleaning her wounds.

"It's just a game." I hum in response, dabbing the blood from Mari's leg.

Mari huffs, "You always take her side! She fucking bit me!"

"I don't always take her side. I can tell she's going through a lot, ever since Jackie died---"

Mari cut me off by shoving me away from her, "Fuck off, (Y/n)! I don't need you to help me. I don't need to hear you excuse her! You're supposed to be my friend, not kissing up to that psycho."

"Mari, I-I'm sorry. I'm trying to not make things worse out here."

"Then, take my side! Oh, my god, (Y/n), fuck the peace!" Before I could respond to her outburst, Mari had already stomped off to her tent. Things have been tense between her and I since then. I wish she could understand where I was coming from. I wish she could understand that I'm trying to protect her. Shauna has gotten worse and worse lately and I understand why, but Mari being the target of it all worries me.

Mari ignored me for the rest of the day, mostly staying in her hut until it was time for our winner's dinner.

I sat next to Mari at the table and she scoffed. Shauna came over to us with Mari's soup in her hand. Mari shot her a sly smirk, "It feels good to be a winner." She gloated and Shauna smirked back at Mari, leaning over the bowl in her hands and spitting in it. Mari's eyes went wide, "Did you just spit in my fucking soup?" She growls, standing up so she's face to face with Shauna. I get up too, already getting in the middle of them. Shauna throws the soup to the ground, her hands reaching for Mari. I put a hand on both of their chests and push them away from each other (stop the fighting!), "She spit in my fucking soup, (Y/n), move!" Mari shouted, her hands reaching to try and hit Shauna.

Natalie and Taissa stood up, rushing to help me break Mari and Shauna apart. Shauna was held back by Natalie and Taissa as Mari walked back to her hut, a string of curse words left in her path. I followed and went into her hut with her, "What the fuck do you want, (Y/n)?" Mari spat.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay--"

"If you actually gave a fuck about me, (Y/n), then you would've done something."

"I did do something, I stopped Shauna from killing your ass!"

"You know that's not what I meant. You should've fucking hit her or at least let me hit her!" Mari yells before sighing, "You...it's like you're taking her side all over again. Before the crash, I remember when that girl shoved me to the ground during a game and you threatened to punch her. I knew you were never going to actually hit her, but you still stood up for me instead of standing between me and her and telling us to stop like you’re doing now."

"That was back then, things are different now, Mari."

"When the plane crashed, I was the first person you looked for. When Coach Ben set the cabin on fire, you made sure I made it out okay. When Lottie was doing her stupid rituals and I was being an idiot and following them, you went with me to make sure I wouldn't get hurt. When I got into that dumb fight with Melissa, you shoved her and told her to fuck off. You were always on my side and now it's like...it's like Shauna's bullshit has seeped into your brain and turned you against me!"

"Mari..."

"No! You don't get to 'Mari' me. You don't get to act like things haven't changed! So, what is it? What is it about Shauna that makes you prefer her?" Mari began to tear up, turning away from me completely so I wouldn't see.

"Prefer her? What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Mari's voice cracked, it was unusual for her to be so unstoic, "Don't make me say it. You know that there's something between us, (Y/n), even if neither of us could ever admit it out loud."

"I don't--"

"Just stop! Don't make me feel crazy, you're the one thing in this place actually keeping me sane. Don't act like those stupid foraging trips we went on together every night alone meant nothing or when we slept next to each other every night in the cabin or when you got drunk at that party and almost kissed me!" Mari was basically shouting at this point, her back still turned to me.

I reached out and touched her shoulder, "Mari, I--"

She wouldn't let me get a word out. She turned around, continuing, "Tell me what it is about Shauna that makes me so easy to throw away!” If there was one thing about Mari that never changed after the crash, it was her stubbornness. 

“Can you shut up and listen to me?!” 

Mari crossed her arms over her chest, childishly tapping her foot, “What?” She demanded.

“I’m not throwing you away! I wasn’t lying when I said I was trying to keep the peace. I was scared of you getting hurt, Mari. I know you act like you can handle whatever Shauna throws at you, but I know you better than that and I know her better than that. You saw what happened to Javi, I am terrified that you’re going to end up…” I didn’t finish my sentence, Mari knew I was right, even if she was too stubborn to admit it. The air was thick and all we could do was stare at each other. 

Mari broke the silence between us, “There’s one thing you forgot to mention…” Mari looked down at her feet, clearly embarrassed, “Us.” Mari and I talked about everything together. We talked about the night on shrooms, we talked about the plane crash, we talked about every feeling or secret we had, but we never talked about us. At least, not until Mari had mentioned it, “I always felt like you protected me because you cared about me, but also because you…liked me.” Mari shook her head, as if to rid herself of her own immature thoughts, “So, to see you protect Shauna, I feel like there has to be something there.” I could tell Mari was getting worked up again, she had an obvious tell; her eyes would never leave yours, her brows would furrow ever so slightly, and SHE NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT, “Your little romance with Shauna is pissing me off and me being pissed off about it has nothing to do with how I feel about you, it’s just that it’s ruining my life!”

“You are so dramatic, Mari, you know I’m not into Shauna!” 

Mari stepped forward, our faces almost touching, “Then, prove it.” She challenged. 

I opened my mouth to question what exactly she meant and Mari had stopped me by doing the one thing neither of us had dared to do before. 

She kissed me. 

Her lips crashed into mine, not caring about knocking teeth or bumping noses. Her fingers dig into my jaw almost like she’s scared that this will end if her grip loosens even a little bit. The kiss isn’t gentle, it’s rough. It’s filled with years of desperation; of looking, but never touching. Of pretending like we’re just friends. Of everything we were scared of because we didn’t want to lose our friendship. Her mouth parts slightly and her tongue is pushing it’s way into my mouth. She presses our lips together harder, not wanting an inch of space between us. She bites my bottom lip — hard. She pulls away, pressing her forehead to mine as she takes a deep breath, “Take off your shirt.” 

“W-What?”

“You heard me, take off your shirt.” Mari says, more firmly this time, “I’m going to make you forget all about that psycho.” I don’t try to disagree with Mari this time, I know she’s far too set in her ways to even listen to reason. Instead, I separate from her and lift my shirt over my head. I can feel the cold wind coming into the tent, I can feel the goosebumps forming along my skin. Mari’s lips ghost over my neck and in an instant, her teeth are sinking into my neck. One of her hands is firmly planted on my hip while the other is entangled in my hair, ensuring that I can’t possibly move away from her. Mari sucks the skin of my neck harshly, making sure that everyone would be able to see the hickeys tomorrow. She sucks until my skin aches, mumbling as she does so, “Everyone’s going to know. That bitch will know you’re mine.” To emphasize her words, Mari bites down even harder and I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips. I can feel Mari’s sly smirk on my skin as she kisses down to my chest, biting and sucking my collarbone. She licks her lips right before she leaves hickies along the edge of my bra, not letting any inch of skin of mine go unmarked. Mari pulls away, staring at her work and smiling like an idiot. 

Mari’s eyes move back to mine, hers are so big and full of adoration that it makes my heart ache, “I like you!” Mari blurts out. 

I blush and smile. My hand moves to her jaw, my thumb brushing over her bottom lip, “I know that, Mari.” I laugh. 

“Well, I just…I think you should say it back…since you didn’t say it before.” Mari sheepishly mumbles. She is so cute, but so dumb. 

“I like you too, Mari.” Mari exhales, her posture more relaxed now as if me letting her leave fifty million hickeys on me was not enough proof that I was into her. 

“Now, time to get that bra off!” Mari not so smoothly says and I drop my hand from her face, shifting it to her shoulder so I can playfully shove her, “Hey! I’m serious.” She pouts. I hate that I find those big, brown eyes to be so irresistible especially since they are attached to the biggest idiot I know. I can’t help but listen to her, I reach my arms behind my back and begin to unclip my bra when Mari stops me, “W-Wait, I want to do it.” My arms drop to my sides and Mari’s hands quickly replace where mine had just fallen from. She unclasps my bra and takes it off, her mouth slightly agape as she takes in the sight in front of her. The sight of me, topless and covered in hickeys left by her. 

Mari’s hands move to my chest; groping, squeezing, cupping any bit of it that she can. Her actions are rough and not at all smooth, but the look on her face is so loving that her rugged movements do nothing but turn me on even more. Mari’s fingers circle my nipples as her eyes watch me, studying every reaction. Her thumb and index finger close around my nipple as Mari watches for what actions makes me moan the loudest, “Fuck, you really sound like that? I must be good at this.” This cocky idiot. I can’t help but roll my eyes causing Mari to pinch once more, her smirk growing bigger as my moans get louder. 

“Mari, I need you.” 

“Y-You want to…go all the way?” Mari hesitantly asks, her eyes lighting up. I nod, too embarrassed to say any more and Mari’s hands drop from my chest, “You have to answer or I won’t know!” 

Liar. She just wants to hear me say it, “I want to have sex with you, Mari.” 

Mari grins, her entire face beaming, “Undress.” She says. I begin removing my shorts and panties as Mari removes the makeshift winner’s cape from her shoulders and sets it down on her bedding, attempting to provide some more cushion to it. Mari turns back to face me, her eyes raking over my body, “Fuck.” Her words are breathless, her hands reaching out to touch any part of me. Her hands land on my waist and she pulls me in, her lips finding mine in the first gentle action of the night. We kissed as we lowered onto Mari’s questionable sleeping arrangements. 

Mari’s hands slide down my stomach, to my thighs, inching up to my center. Her fingers grazed over my folds and she broke the kiss to look at them. She held them up to her face and repeatedly separated her index and middle finger, watching the wetness collected on them string across, “That wet just from me kissing you?”

“You did a lot more than just kiss me!” I argue, my face heating up as Mari giggled. 

Her fingers returned to my thighs and Mari’s breathing faltered, “I don’t…I don’t really know what I’m doing.” Mari nervously admits, embarrassed by her lack of knowledge. 

I blush, stammering, “T-Try doing…what you do to yourself to me.” I suggest and Mari nods, determined. 

Her fingers inch closer and closer and I can feel my body aching for her touch. Her other hand moves to my hip, helping to steady me. Her thumb ghosts over my clit and my thighs shake, “Did…Did that feel good?” Mari nervously asks.

“R-Really good.” 

Mari smiles and her thumb grazes my clit with more confidence, her touch becoming firmer. Her index finger slips lower, her thumb still rubbing my clit, and she slides her finger inside me. I arch into her touch, “Is this okay?” I nod and Mari begins to move her finger. She’s gentle and slow, almost like speeding up would somehow break me. Mari’s lips drift to my neck again; however, this time, she isn’t biting down or sucking – she’s leaving soft kisses along the skin, trying her best to keep me relaxed as she adds a second finger. 

“Mari!” The moan slips from my lips and Mari’s fingers instinctively curl inside me. I jerk against her hand, beginning to grind my hips in sync with her thrusts. Her movements became more and more confident, her fingers moving perfectly inside me – it was hard to believe it was her first time. Mari was more determined than she had ever been, the moans of her name spurring her on as she eagerly fucked me. The only sound echoing in this small tent is my moans and Mari’s wet fingers gliding in and out of me, “Mari, I’m close.” I moan, my hips jerking into her hand even more. I can’t help it, it feels like I need Mari’s fingers more than I’ve ever needed anything. I can feel the heat pooling in my stomach and it doesn’t take long before I’m tightening around Mari’s fingers. Her thrusts slow down, but her thumb keeps a consistent pace on my clit. 

“You look so pretty, (Y/n).” Mari breathes out as she watches me unfold under her. I moan nothing but her name as I come on her fingers. Mari’s movements slow down, helping me ride out my orgasm. Once I finish, Mari slowly takes her fingers out and smiles at me, “You are so hot.” I blush, too out of breath to respond. 

Mari lays down next to me, her arms wrapping around me and pulling my back flush against her, “That was amazing. You’re amazing.” Mari says, kissing my shoulder, “This is where you tell me I’m amazing too.” 

I laugh, as does Mari, “You were amazing too, Mari.” I reply, breathless.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments; both recovering from everything that had taken place today, not only in the last two hours, but this whole day. That was until Mari broke the silence, "We make a way better couple than that psycho and her dumb hat-wearing girlfriend." Mari mumbles, placing another kiss on my shoulder, “We’re basically the it couple of the huts.”

“You did not seriously just say that.” 

“You can’t cringe at the words that leave my mouth now when this mouth was just all over you.” Mari happily responds. 

I roll my eyes, “And since when did we become a couple? I don’t recall you asking me to be your girlfriend.” 

Mari’s eyes widen and her jaw drops, it’s the most shocked I’ve ever seen her look, “You’re really still into Shauna after all of that?! I put my best work into you! Even when my hand started cramping, I didn’t make a single noise!” 

“I am banning you from ever mentioning Shauna again, you idiot.” I turn to face Mari, pecking her lips before continuing, “I am only into you, Mari.” 

I can feel Mari relaxing in my arms, “Promise?” 

Mari lifts up her pinky finger and I interlock it with mine, “I promise.”

“Does this mean we’re dating?” 

“Yes, idi–”

“Stop calling me that! If anything, I’m way smarter than you.”

I smirk, knowing what I was about to say would win this faux argument, “Melissa said you chipped your tooth on your vibrator.” 

Mari gasped, “No way my girlfriend is engaging with gossip about me!” 

“Girlfriend?” 

Mari playfully hit me, “Deny it one more time and I’m spitting in your soup.”

“Fine, I’m Mari Ibarra’s girlfriend.” Mari happily sighs, her arms wrapping around me once more. She felt more relaxed than she ever had, as though that label had managed to fill every single need she ever had. 

Masterlist

[pineapple-downside-up-cake]

Let's Not Make A Big Deal Valentine's Special!

GHOST when you are A Strong Independent Human Who Don't Need No Man.

You just, y'know...want one.

Simom, whether by nature or dubious military nurture, is a lean, mean, left brained freak* of a partner.

Blunt; pragmatic; Simon.

It's not that he's not gentle, or sweet, or doesn't love you to hell and back. He does - oh god does he, and he needs you to know - but classic romance is a notion that has routinely evaded apprehension.

He didn't exactly have stirling examples growing up.

He is, therefore, understandably imbalanced when he forgets valentine's entirely, and Soap and Gaz are the ones to remind him. They spend the whole morning razzing him about how "every partner needs attention for valentine's."

It gets to him.

He powerwalks out to the phone lockers at the first opportunity, to text you and apologize. He's ready to hit send when his thumb freezes and he thinks better of it. He should call you instead, to schedule something for tonight. A make-up session.

And then he remembers he's being stupid, because Soap and Gaz and even Price have been right precisely once when giving him relationship advice - just that first day, when they convinced him to give you a chance after you'd asked him out.

You're already seeing each other tonight, anyway.

He slams the locker shut and twists the dumb little key in the big paw of his hand. You're fine, you and him are fine, he is a big bad emotionally mature man and he's not going to let his teammates make him insecure over a fucking hallmark holiday.

He's not.

But maybe he's relieved, just a little bit, when you kiss him at the door like nothing is wrong, ask him with a smile how his day was.

...Only to have it dashed when he walks past and sees a new floral arrangement on the table, one of those tacky red boxes open next to it.

He stops dead in his tracks, sniper quiet in an instant, an all quiet tension. You have to double back for him when you realize he didn't follow, looking between him and the table, a question in the air.

"I could've done that," he grumbles, looking forlornly at the flowers. He's scowling so hard he's building a unibrow, cursing himself and his team, but mostly himself for failing you.

It takes you slapping a little piece of plastic against his chest to snap him out of it, and even then all he does is stare.

"This is called a credit card, love. I'm big kid who makes real, adult money, and when I want flowers or candy, I take this baby to the store and buy it myself. S'not a test."

You have to remind Simon that he does things. Little things, constantly, that let you know he appreciates you. You can pull a whole list of examples off the top of your head.

In the end, you apologize to him - let him know that you know. And, by the way...you love him, too.

You wouldn't share your hard earned bourbon chocolate cherries with just anyone, after all.

*I love you my left brained people ♡

[percyluvr]

percy jackson x aphrodite cabin counselor!reader summary: valentine's day at chb brings you and your best friend closer than ever wc: 1.4k

Today was your favorite day at Camp Half-Blood, Valentine's Day. Maybe it was cliché considering you were an Aphrodite kid, but there was just something about Valentine's Day that was addicting to you. Maybe it was the weeks leading up to it that you played matchmaker even more than you normally did as counselor of the Aphrodite cabin, or maybe it was the cute and overpriced chocolate that the Stoll brothers smuggled into camp for the annual Valentine's party.

However, one thing was for sure: it was not because you had a valentine or were in love. Well, you were in love but still had no valentine which came as a huge surprise to all of your siblings, but even more so your friends at camp. 

Since you were 14 and made cabin counselor, you always had a date to your own Valentine's party. This year was different though, you'd realized your crush on your best friend at the Christmas party and knew then that you couldn't break another person's heart by taking them as your date to the Valentine's party and then dumping them the next day. After you completed the 'rite of passage' as an Aphrodite kid, you decided that you didn't have it in you to break anyone else's heart, so whoever you dated next had to be it for you. 

Today you'd woken up nearly on cloud nine. You'd gone about your routine as normal and then got to work assigning tasks for your siblings to set up the party. While everyone at Camp Half-Blood was invited to the party, you still liked to make invites, because really, why have a party if you can't make cute pink invites for everyone?

Usually, parties like this for 'minor' holidays wouldn't be allowed at Camp Half-Blood, but Mr. D and Chiron, mostly Chiron, made an exception because of how much it meant to the Aphrodite cabin. Mr. D only let you host it because you somehow convinced the Olympians to let his wife come down to accompany him to the party. 

Now, after assigning your siblings to their task, handing out invites, and making sure the party was ready, you were sitting at your vanity, redoing your makeup and hair, while your best friend, Percy, laid on your bed and juggled your stuffed animals, which you usually would have found weird or annoying, but now you couldn't help but notice just how beautiful he was. His black hair always sat messily atop his head, nearly never fully dry because he couldn't keep himself from jumping into the water whenever he felt like it. Before last year, you would've fixed his hair and chastised him for jumping into the lake because it made his hair all weird, but you just admired it now. 

Not wanting to get caught staring, you turned back to your mirror, not noticing the way Percy stared at you with hearts in his eyes in the back.

"You look so cute," he said mindlessly, his brain immediately yelling at his mouth for always saying things he meant to keep to himself.

"What'd you say?" You ask, mad at yourself for not hearing him and hanging onto his every word.

Percy had never felt relief like that in his life.

"Nothing, I just said you look like a fruit," he said, mentally facepalming. "You look like a fruit," what the hell is my problem?

"That doesn't even make sense, but okay," you say, rolling your eyes. 

"Sure it does, if your mind is as awesome as mine."

If your eyes could roll to the back of your head and stay there, yours might as well have already because of how many times you roll your eyes around this boy, but never out of real annoyance. How can someone who would typically be so annoying with his stupid jokes be so cute.

"No," you say to yourself. If I keep thinking like this, I'm just going to mess up our friendship.

Little did you know, the boy you were thinking about was thinking about you in the exact same way.

"Hey, when are you going to be done? The party is in like 10 minutes."

"Yes, Percy, I know, it's not like I'm hosting the party or anything," you say, feigning annoyance. "You can go on your own if I'm taking up too much of your 'precious time', y'know," you say, hoping but deep down knowing that he wouldn't go without you.

"Oh come on, you know damn well I would never go to a party without you, especially a party you're hosting, we're best friends," he says, immediately regretting the last words he said as soon as he heard himself say them.

Friends. That's all you are to him.

"Right, what am I thinking?" He hears you 'laugh', and if Percy Jackson knows anything about anything, he knows that is not a real laugh, but he doesn't know what to say to make it better. 

"Well, I'm done now, I just need to put on my dress, just stay here," you state, sauntering off into the walk in closet. You choose your cutest red dress to pair with your darling white cowboy boots, but can't manage to tie the straps into bows yourself, so you decide to ask Percy for help.

"Hey, can you come in here? I need your help tying this!"

Percy blushes, but walks in nonetheless, and is immediately astonished at the amount of clothes in just your closet alone.

The sight of your bare shoulder and small manicured hands holding up your dress was enough for him to combust on the spot, but he held himself together. 

The sight of the dark red tint on his cheeks brought a cheeky smile to your face, knowing that your plan was set in motion.

His fingers shakily grabbed the ribbons on the dress and tied a bow on each shoulder, but not without him accidentally touching your shoulders with the pads of his fingers. 

His touch could've lit you on fire, even though he was a son of Poseidon, not Hephaestus. Even the tiniest touch was absolutely intoxicating.

You turned around and grabbed Percy's hand. If touching your shoulders was just the first step of becoming addicted to you, he was fully ready to do anything for you now.

It's not like you two never touched each other, but it was never quite like this. Not when you both had a sneaky feeling that the other felt the same way that you did.

Even when you got to the party, you stayed near each other. When you went up to the front of the party and went over your yearly Valentine’s spiel, he was at your side. When you went to get some of the definitely not spiked punch, he was at your side. 

When the slow dance songs came on, he gently grabbed and moved your hand from his to his shoulder.

The way you looked into each other's eyes could in itself be a public display of affection. The pure love in your eyes for each other shut all of your admirers down without you even having to say anything. Your faces slowly got closer to each other, still staring into each other's eyes.

"Are we about to kiss right now?" he asked, mostly as a joke, but a small part of him still had hope.

What he didn't expect was for you to softly, with your honey-like voice, "I don't know about you, but I definitely hope so."

With your consent, he felt like his lifelong wish was coming true, and he immediately pushed his slightly chapped lips onto yours. 

The feeling of finally getting to kiss each other was like the best thing in the world but 500x better. He tasted vaguely like a weird but good combination of saltwater and cookies. 

The longer you kissed, the more passionate it got, and this was definitely pda now. His sharp teeth gently bit down on your bottom lip, causing your mouth to open, allowing his tongue in. You'd never felt something so perfect in your life.

When the two of you finally split, it felt like when you were a little kid and your parents took away your toys.

"Not sure about you, sugar, but that was singlehandedly the best kiss I've had in my life," he said with a smile.

a/n: book!percy my beloved also happy valentine's day to everyone reading this! <3

[olderthannetfic]

Hey, so I know this is probably something that not many can relate, but I wanted to ask here anyways:

How do you guys do to not feel alone or lonely in fandoms? I'm not mostly active in a small one and almost all of us know each other, but yet seems like I'm an outcast. When I hear that most of the members are DMing one another or creating little creative groups and yet somehow no one tries to dm me and brainstorm ideas... or when some of them have called me their friends yet I try to keep contat and the friendship going and it feels like I'm just being pushy or stupid for trying.

Is funny, because in a way it was some of my fics that rebuilt the community around this fandom, and still it feels like I'm here to churn out fics and that's it. All the fandom interaction I get is minimal and seems like a chore to the others. I haven't felt this alone in fandom communities in the past.

Maybe it's how modern fandom is and I'm being nostalgic for the fandom experience of a decade ago, or maybe it's my brain being stupid. But yeah, just, what do you guys do if you ever feel lonely in fandom spaces? Could use the help. Also, love the blog. Have a nice day :)

--

Okay, first, one hundred percent, your brain is being stupid. I'm having a bad brain day today myself. There could also be some other stuff going on, but let's be real: your brain is being stupid. Not feeling lonely is at least half about general mental health management.

I don't think fandom is necessarily always lonely now. I do find that I've done a bad job of cultivating close friendships lately. I'm trying to finish up some projects, and my kid is entering a phase where it's hard to go to events. I think it's very easy to not have enough energy to make social things happen. It's also easy to not remember how much effort one put in in the past or to not have noticed at the time since one was in a more energetic, excited phase or happened to be in some situation where one ran into potential friends without trying (school or the like).

Now, it sounds like you're already putting in some work trying to connect with people. That's good. That's a necessary, though not always sufficient, step. It's hard to tell from the outside whether other people find it a chore. I'd guess that's more your brain sabotaging you than reality.

I think there's a strong possibility that these DMs you aren't privy to are less awesome than you think. People tend to assume everyone around them is doing better—better than those other people actually are and better than themselves. They seem okay on the surface! They must have their shit together, unlike me! (Spoiler: they probably don't.)

It's certainly possible that you're great at fic but much less good at conversation. If the things you want to chat about just don't mesh well with these other people's style, a DM conversation will grind to a halt. I can give the usual advice about being genuinely interested in others and remembering to ask about them, but it's totally possible there's just a natural mismatch that can't be fixed. It's also possible they all hang out on some discord together that sparks the DM conversations, but you don't like discord and thus aren't there when the conversations break off like that. Substitute twitter or zoom or whatever other divisive format as applicable.

I suppose the times I've really had a good connection discussing meta thoughts on some character or canon have been when I had a beta or someone I was brainstorming with. When you post fics, perhaps you could add a note that you're looking for someone like that, or you could offer to beta for others.

[madridnoora]

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ Forbidden - Homecoming

Fifth instalment of the forbidden au - lsu!joe x oc

Instalments - one, two, three , three.two and four ౨ৎ

a/n: thanks for all the love on this au! I'm going to be writing some shorter blurbs about Joe and Daisy, so if you guys have any requests or asks feel free to inbox me :)

Summary: Joe accidentally breaks rule number two, and people on campus begin to question his and Daisy's relationship which leaves Daisy feeling angry and embarrassed. The LSU Homecoming football game against Florida creates more than one surprise for Joe.

⋆｡˚ word count: 13.0k

18+ Content. MDNI :). Mentions of drinking, smoking and sex. ⋆｡˚

Pale laptop light illuminated the dark room as Daisy sat at her cluttered desk typing away on a political science paper. A clicking sound meshing with the subtle heartbreak playlist that was playing from her phone. It was Wednesday night. Three days since she got back from Austin and she had spent it hiding away in her dorm room.

Cardigan by Taylor Swift came on shuffle. Daisy sat back in her chair, taking a break from the words she furiously typed on the painfully bright white screen. Since seeing Lucas, she felt almost heartbroken again. It was like seeing him had confirmed that they were done, that the last six months of her life were real and that she had in fact lost the one person she had ever loved.

When you are young they assume you know nothing.

It was to describe the complicated feelings that twisted at the organs inside her torso. She felt over Lucas but that in itself was enough to make her feel a cutting sorrow. One that banged at her chest with a deep pulsing pain. Seeing him on that field was like saying goodbye to her teenage self. It was like shutting the chest and locking it with a key, then throwing it in the ocean never to be opened again. That part of her and her life that she once loved now only existed in memories. She was mourning it.

Drunk under a streetlight, I knew you

Hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better

The memories weren't all bad. Lucas and Daisy had a complex relationship, one which took place over some of the most important years of growing up. They were just kids. Kids who were learning how to love, learning how to make mistakes and correct them. In the end, the bad outweighed the good, but that didn't mean the good never existed.

Daisy thought about the times they would dance around in the street after sneaking out to be together. The times they shared when no one was looking and it was only them. Sweet delicate kisses that always felt like the first. The fast beating heart that came with doing things for the first time. She lost her virginity to him. She reminicised on the innocence they had shared with each other, the way Lucas' hand was lightly shaking as he felt under her sweatshirt for the first time. A small smile found itself drawn upon her dry lips.

With a good memory, came a bad one. A way of her brain protecting herself from getting too carried away in romantic thoughts.

Chase two girls, lose the one.

Daisy had always heard rumours about Lucas with other girls. Mostly when they were fifteen. She could excuse that. They were both young and stupid, each of them doing childish things which they regretted. Once they matured, she never heard a single other rumour. Until he went to college. Then they came back. Rumours of him hooking up with girls at frat parties or with the Longhorns cheerleaders. She heard them from mutual friends from high school, people who went to the same college as Lucas. When she would bring it up, he would shut her down defensively. He would shout and scream about her lack of trust, and how she was letting jealous people tear them apart. A small part of her always knew that the rumours were true, but her heart wouldn't let her believe it fully. Her heart wanted to believe her first love. Her heart told her he could never treat her the way people were saying he did. So she stayed. She stayed for way too long. She would have stayed even longer if he never ended things. Maybe breaking up with her was the most loving thing Lucas had ever done.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars, was all we needed.

You drew stars around my scars, now i'm bleeding.

Every thing was so much simpler before they went off to separate colleges. All they needed was each other and no one else in the world mattered. He would make her feel special when no one else could, he would nurture her when she was sick, he would attend every cheer or dance competition he could. She would spend vacations with his family, she would be at every football game, every practice. They would have done anything for each other.

A wet droplet rolled down her warm cheeks. Tears bubbled in her eyes, now threatening to spill uncontrollably.

I knew you's haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long.

She thought about how things would have been if she never came to LSU more than she should have. She got into University of Texas, and it's statistically a better school but it didn't feel right in her gut. Her dad was an LSU graduate and her grandpa. Something in her stomach pulled her to LSU, like it was a magnet and she was metal. Lucas was the most angry she had ever seen him, he didn't speak to her for four days after she told him. He punished her with the cruel silence.

Maybe the whole thing was her fault. Had she have gone to Texas, Lucas wouldn't have been cheating, he wouldn't have got annoyed at her so much, the distance wouldn't have been an issue and they could have been happy. She ruined it.

The what-ifs would haunt her for the rest of her life.

What-if she stayed. Would it be different? or was breaking up always the fate that was written for them.

Tears poured from her eyes as she let herself feel the emotion. She needed this, she needed to let it all out. One last cry at the funeral of her old self.

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired.

and I knew you'd come back to me, you'd come back to me.

Her last thoughts remained on what happened on the field. When the final whistle blew and Joe led LSU to a convincing defeat over Lucas and the Longhorns.

Joe didn't tell her what Lucas had really said. But Justin told Bella.

Bella told Daisy on the flight back.

'and Lucas was all like 'keep your fucking hands off my girlfriend' Bella told her the full explicit details with a lighthearted laugh. Daisy didn't find it funny. It was worse than she expected.

girlfriend.

She hadn't been that in a long time, yet he still claimed her like a possession. Even after it all, his hands lingered over her shoulders holding onto her like a lantern he couldn't let drift into the night sky. He held her down while every one else around her was able to float and fly. Chained her to his grasp.

Did he really miss her or did he miss being in control of her?

Her heart wanted to believe he missed her, but her head now outweighed those feelings. He just wanted control over her. He came back but only for the benefit of his own ego.

She should have known he would.

Lucas was no longer the boy she fell in love with and she was no longer the girl that loved him. They were dead, existing only in past lives.

Daisy took the sleeve of her jumper and wiped away her tears.

She needed this. One last big cry.

Then she broke the chain. The one which had been keeping her tied down and tied to him.

She was free to float.

and their story ended.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Daisy and Bella sat on the grass of campus, soaking up the midday sun. Bags of lays chips, bottles of diet coke and fruit were spread around them as they enjoyed a picnic in their long lunch break. Neither of them having anymore classes for the day.

Daisy had been telling Bella of the new found closure she had experienced last night, how she had woken up feeling like a woman who was ready to take on the world. Bella told Daisy all about the double date she and Cassie went on the night before. It went pretty bad from Daisy's understanding. The guys were not anything like the pictures and also had absolutely no personality. Cassie and Bella had to beg the kitchen staff to let them leave through the back entrance just so they could get away.

'you should go on a date' Bella said nonchalantly and Daisy almost spat out her diet coke. She shook her head profusely. Daisy didn't date, she didn't go on dates, especially with people she had never met before. The whole idea of it made her skin crawl.

'come on, you're single! why not.' Bella tried to convince her.

'nope' Daisy was firm.

'I'm gonna set you up. I just need to find the right guy' Bella ignored Daisy's plea's and begs. Bella was going to set Daisy up with someone, she just had to take a week or two to figure out the right guy. Conduct thorough research and come up with a hypothesis on a man that would be perfect for Daisy.

Daisy went back to her lays chips and crunched them with annoyance until a shadowed figure blocked out the sun.

Both the girls turned to see who it was.

'heeyyyyyy!!'

It was Jada. Daisy breathed a sigh of relief.

'oh my god, hi!' Daisy stood up and greeted her with a warm embrace.

Jada was the captain of the LSU cheerleading team and a good friend from freshman year, one Daisy had been neglecting since the whole quitting cheer and football world.

'I haven't seen you in so long, you look so cute' Daisy held on to Jada's shoulder she looked her up and down. Jada was beautiful, like stupidly beautiful. Her skin so smooth it looked fake, her body built in the most insane way, her hair so curly and volumous, never once had she seen a hair out of place. She was always picture perfect.

'you too! i've missed you so much daisy dukes.' Jada's nose crinkled up as she sounded out the sweet nickname Daisy hated but could never shake. Everyone called her it, except from Cassie, Bella, Justin, Ja'marr and Joe. Most people from high school and back home just called her dukes. She had it coming the summer in tenth grade when she decided to wear nothing other that tiny denim shorts.

'sit. sit' Daisy said pointing the grass.

'okay, just for ten minutes. I have to get ready for practice'

The three girls sat once again on the pale dry grass. Small talk coming from each of them, all catching up about what they had been doing over summer and how the beginning of sophomore and senior year for Jada had been going. Then Jada says something that causes Daisy to stumble and spiral over words and thoughts.

'weird question, are you and joe burrow like hanging out?'

'NO' The word comes out of Daisy's mouth way to quick and way to strongly. Bella side eyes her with a furrowed brow of both concern and confusion. She hadn't forgot about the way Joe reacted to seeing Daisy and Ja'marr dancing in the bar and now this. Something was going on and Daisy wasn't telling her.

'I mean, uh' Daisy clears the nervous lump in her throat. 'We like spoke at a party a few weeks back'

Jada nods her head.

'Why'd you ask?' Daisy quizzes.

'Oh nothing. He like messaged three of the girls from cheer asking if they knew who you were and what your last name was' Jada said as she swatted a hand through the air like it was a nothing statement.

But it wasn't.

Daisy's heart dropped to her stomach. God, how fucking embarrassing. Her old teammates getting spammed by Joe because he wanted to know her last name. Could he be anymore obvious? Now she knew how he really had found her instagram, she had just assumed he had asked Justin like a normal person would. He was such an idiot. Vexation crawled through her veins.

Bella watches Daisy's reaction and what's happening is clear. She would wait until Jada left to bring it up.

'One other thing' Daisy looked to Jada.

Jada's got a nervous smile on her face and it makes Daisy start to feel queazy.

'Erm. I need you.' huh. Jada scratches her back briefly.

'It's the homecoming game next week and all my flyers are either injured or away on a class trip out of state. You're my only option.'

Not a chance. Daisy's face drops in almost horror as she realises what Jada is asking from her. She wants her to step in and cheer at the game next week. Daisy shakes her head quickly and lifts up a finger wagging it in the air.

'No, no. absolutely not'

'Daisy please' Jada gives her best puppy dogs and prayer hands begging her to consider it. 'you were like the best flyer we had. Please. I'll forever be in your debt'

Daisy can't even bring herself to consider it. There was no way she was ever stepping back on a football field to cheer again.

'Nope. I'm sorry Jada, but I can't. Hold some auditions and I'm sure you will find someone good enough' Daisy looks at her friend with sympathy. She felt bad. Homecoming night was the biggest night of the season for them. All the old alumni come to watch but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't want to do it. It was too soon.

'Okay, well it was worth a shot' Jada packs up her things and stands up. The ten minute conversation now over. 'It was nice seeing you Daisy dukes, and you bells'

Daisy and Bella wave goodbye to her.

Bella glares at Daisy.

Daisy's eyes dart around trying avoid the death glare. She felt like a dog that had been found guilty.

'Sleeping with burrow' Bella kisses her teeth and shakes her head. Daisy's cheek flush a crimson red.

'Wow. It's sick truly. Sex with the number one quarterback and head frat boy' Bella continues torturing Daisy.

Daisy brings both her hands over her face and groans a loud groan. Bella is loving watching her squirm.

'God. I know, I know' Daisy says still into her hands.

Bella bursts into a laugh. She pulls Daisy's hands from her face.

'Reeelax. I'm kidding. I think this is good for you. To get out and have fun, as long as it's just sex'

'just sex' Daisy confirmed with a tight lip.

'Actually speaking of him, I need to go see him now' Daisy is reminded of the little texting stunt Joe pulled. Bella nods with a shrug, letting her know she is free to go ahead.

Daisy grabbed her stuff and rushed in the direction of the frat house he lived in. Since they last slept together, Daisy had ignored three of his texts, each one asking if she was up or telling her to come round. She had been hiding herself away in her dorm room in Austin, avoiding the world around her.

But now was done hiding.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

The front room of the frat house was a mess of food wrappers, beer bottles and dirty dishes. The smell was starting to sour, but they were oblivious to it.

Frat brothers sprawled across the stained brown sofa's, half of them taking rips from a bong. Joe sat on the other end next to Ja'marr and their housemate Matthew. They watched as some other brothers played Fortnite on the television screen, all while scrolling on their phones. Some of the brothers talked about the recent girls they had been hooking up with, some talked about classes and some spoke about sports. All of them in a chill state, lazily spending the day doing nothing.

The dramatic slam of the hefty dark wood front door causes them all to jump.

They hear footsteps on the wooden hallway walking towards where they're all sat.

They all look at each other with panicked eyes, none of them knowing who was coming. The boys smoking rush to hide the bong behind the sofa and frantic hands try to waft the smell away.

They hold their breaths.

Every single eye looking at the corner that opened up to the living room.

Their jaws hang ajar when they see who it is.

Daisy.

Her face is scowled. A piercing glare directed at only Joe. Her arms folded across her chest in dismay.

Every other boy in the room looks at Joe. Rule two wasn't exactly going well for the little situation Joe and Daisy had going on. Every single member of Joe's frat and football team knew he and Daisy were hooking up. Joe had to make sure they all knew she was off limits.

Joe keeps his blue eyes on her, and her only. It had been days since he last saw her and she had been ignoring his messages. But now here she was, stood in the front room of his house looking so delicious, even with the grimace look on her face. He didn't know what he had done and he didn't really care all that much. She didn't intimidate or scare him, instead he found the whole tough girl thing she had going on cute.

He checks her out with a arrogant smirk. She's wearing a cropped navy blue striped t-shirt with the neck hem cut so it sat off the shoulder. It exposes a white lace bra strap and a collarbone which looked oh so kissable. On her bottom was a familiar distressed denim miniskirt, the same one she had been wearing when they first met. Her tan legs were bare, some simple nike trainers on her feet. When Joe meets her eyes again she some how looks even more angry.

'are you fucking serious?' Joe is taken aback by her violent words. The boys in the room all hold their breaths, Ja'marr tries not to laugh by covering his mouth and looking at a blank spot on the wall.

'what' is all Joe can get out as his holds his hands up defensively.

'rule two' Daisy uncrosses her arms and places her hands on her hips.

Joe lets out a scoffed laugh and puts his hands out in a questioning manner. He had no idea what she was talking about, he hadn't told anyone he didn't need to.

The frat boys are eating up every aspect of the situation. All of them eating fake popcorn as they watch the argument unfold.

'messaging the whole of campus trying to find my instagram. I've got girls from the cheer team asking me about you, about us.' Daisy spits in exasperated breaths.

A crowd of 'ohhhhhs' and 'ahhhhhhs' sound out from the frat boys around them as Joe had just been exposed in front of them. Ja'marr no longer holds in his laugh, instead he's slapping at his knee in hysterics. Although Joe was his best friend, it was nice to see him get humbled every once in a while.

Joe sits still amongst the now chaotic room. He had asked the cheer girls if they knew her before he ever knew she was on the cheer team. He never thought his desperation to find her instagram would come back to bite him. But here it was, biting him...hard.

Joe doesn't even know how to respond, because quite frankly there is nothing he can say to make the situation better. All he can do is try to save face and dignity in front of his frat brothers and teammates. He goes coolly nonchalant and joins his friends in laughing about the situation.

'my bad, sweetcheeks' He offers her a glance and a shrug before he goes back to the egotistical grin he often wore.

'you're so insufferable sometimes' Daisy says coldly causing the room to quiet and Joe to look back at her.

She turns around and Joe thinks she's leaving, but she doesn't.

Instead, Daisy starts to walk over to and then up the grand staircase. The staircase which leads to where Joe's bedroom is. He gulps, the bottom of her ass cheeks just slightly peeking out from under her short skirt. He feels the blood begin to rush to his crotch. He frowns when he realises all the other boys are looking at her as well.

'look t'fuck away' Joe growls at them as he stands up and rushes to follow her on the stairs. The boys listen, all of them darting their eyes back to the paused Fortnite game on the television.

Joe catches up to her and guides her into his room quickly with a forceful hand on her lower back.

His bedroom door slams.

'Turn the volume up' Ja'marr says to the rest of the boys as he points to the television.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

'What the fuck are you doing?' Joe quizzes her with a demanding tone while she places her bag on the floor of his messy room. LSU training clothes lay around every where, spray canisters of deodorant scattered over his desk. An Ohio state poster hanging crooked on his wall. He navy duvet crumpled up and unmade. Pillows in every direction.

'No. What the fuck are you doing?' Daisy snaps back at him, swirling around to face his frowning face. Joe's jaw is tightening as he huffs and puffs at the little stunt Daisy just pulled. Barging into his house, embarrassing him and then walking up the stairs with her ass out. Daisy's own glare of annoyance back and stronger than ever.

Joe marches close to her and pick her up under the armpit. She yelps out a shriek of surprise. Joe throws her onto his bed, climbing on top of her. Daisy moves the strands of hair that landed on her face from the force of the landing and when she opens her eyes again she meet's Joe's indigo ones. The look she came to be familiar with in his eye.

'You'

Joe presses his lips to hers quickly. Fours days was too long to go without his fix of her. Their sex was rough and fast paced, desperation clinging to every move he made, every kiss, every thrust. Every moan and grunt that passed through each of their lips was one that had been building up in the days they hadn't seen each other. Combined with the anger and irritation in the air between them, it made the sex intense and fiery. They fucked like they hated and loved each other at the same time.

They finished quickly but some how their orgasms were stronger than ever before. The elation and exhilaration more powerful than ever before.

Joe gets up from the bed first and throws her one of the t-shirts he has laying around on the floor. Daisy, once again cleans herself up. Joe watches as she wipes his seed from bare breasts, they bounce a little bit in response. He likes the sight. He likes her bare naked in his bed wiping him off her.

Joe grabs himself some clean boxers and throws Daisy her panties. He then rummages through one of his drawers and chucks something else at her. It hits Daisy in the face, she looks at what it is, holding it up in her hands.

A spongebob t-shirt.

She pulled her hands down, uncovering her face and looking at Joe.

'you can stay tonight' Joe says casually, not really focusing on her and instead setting up the playstation in his room, his eyes scanning for the television remote.

'What if i don't want to' Daisy quipped back with attitude.

'Then get your shit and leave, I won't stop you'

Daisy's eyes widened in disbelief and her mouth hung agape in shock. Joe's words were brutal. Brutal in the sense that they made it very clear he did not care what she did. Joe didn't care whether she stayed the night or left.

Daisy huffed. Reluctantly, putting on the silly shirt he had gave her.

Joe smiled. He clambered back into bed next to her with the remote and a playstation controller.

'knew you'd stay' a cocky jab flew from his lips as he loaded up Fortnite.

That night Joe and Daisy spent a quiet evening together, Joe ordered them so takeout food and played video games while Daisy worked on her paper in bed next to him. They didn't talk much, they didn't need to, the silence was a comfortable one. They did fall asleep beside each other. In the night, they got uncontrollably closer. Joe wrapped one arm over her waist. One he removed hastily before she could wake up and notice it come morning.

The next night she stayed over again, leaving before sunrise on Saturday morning as Joe, Ja'marr and Justin had an early morning flight to Nashville, Tennessee for a game against Vanderbilt.

The departure was an awkward one. Leaving in the clothes she came in two days ago while walking past frat guys still awake from a night of partying. Ja'marr, Justin and a few other teammates stood with their bags waiting for their quarterback to come down the stairs so they could head to the airport.

'Hey texas' Justin gave her a quick hug and she shyly nodded. She assumed Justin knew, but she hadn't been a hundred percent until he had seen them together.

'Joe, we're running late' Justin says with subtle dismay.

'Yeah, I know man, I overslept' Joe's excuse fell flatly, especially since they could hear his bed creaking in an early morning rhythm and Daisy was hot with rose tinted cheeks. Joe was late because of early morning sex and they all knew it.

'I'm gonna head.' Daisy's voice was unusually shy, and slightly raspy. She avoided the eye-line of all the boys, picking at the skin around her nails.

'Have fun' she said and offered a small wave as she turned to walk out of the frat house door. Ja'marr waved back and Justin nodded. The atmosphere was uncomfortable. Justin hated it. The thing between Joe and his friend was ruining his relationship with her.

'Later' Joe didn't even look at her when she left out the door. An unfazed act.

'Just because it's meaningless, doesn't mean you can't look at her when she says bye man' Justin's words are laced with ever so slight disgust for Joe's ungentlemanly actions. Justin picked up his bags and headed out to the cars waiting to take them to the airport.

'What's his problem?' Joe asked Ja'marr.

Ja'marr shrugs and follows Justin out.

They would return from Nashville on a late flight in the evening.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Joe and the LSU football team beat Vanderbilt 66 to 38 in a dominant performance. Ja'marr was the standout player of the game, he caught six passes for 123 yards with two touchdowns. Joe had a heismann worthy performance again and threw for six touchdowns.

Daisy didn't watch the game. Just because she had closed the book on her previous relationship and attended a game this season, didn't mean she wanted to have anything to do with the football world.

She did hear about it though. It was all over social media.

She decided to send Joe a quick message. Nothing to personal or forward, just something casual, something friendly.

daisyymoore

nice game!

About an hour and a half later, she got a response.

@.Joeyb_9 sent you a message

thanks. plane just got in. meet me at my place at 11. Just walk in.

Daisy pondered the message. She had stayed at Joe's two nights in a row, if she stayed tonight it would be the third. That felt too personal, too involved, too not casual. She didn't want to find herself in a complex situation with Joe. It was meant to just be some fun, some fun that was forbidden. Joe was like her dirty little secret, and that was all.

She sent back a text saying she was busy and locked her phone.

Joe never responded.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

From Monday to Thursday of the next week nothing other than the boring usual happened. Daisy would attend class, Joe would attend training. Daisy hung out with Cass and Bella. Joe hung out with Ja'marr and Justin. Daisy would get a text from Joe, she would go round and they would hook up. One night she stayed, the other she didn't. The whole thing was becoming routine. It was beginning to become difficult to imagine the times when she wasn't having casual sex with the quarterback.

Now, it was Friday night.

Daisy, Bella and Cassie all snuggled up under a blanket with a bowl of sweet and salted popcorn watching the fourth episode of Vanderpump rules in a row. A half drank bottle of wine on the floor beside the one they already drank. They were taking mouthfuls every time Kristen Doute did something unhinged.

Being a nineteen year old girl was fun sometimes.

They're laughing at an episode when a knock on the dorm room door startled them. Daisy gets up to answer it with apprehension. No one ever knocked on the dorm room door, not unless it was with a noise complaint.

She clasped her hand around the silver door handle and pulled it open with caution.

Her brows furrowed. There was no one there, at least that's what she thought until she heard a desperate plea from beneath her.

'Please, I'm am coming to you because I have no other option, please Daisy'

Daisy's head turned sharply to the floor. Jada was on her knees doing prayer hands.

'This is the most important game of the season for me, please Daisy. As a friend if nothing else, please be a flyer.'

Daisy gaped in amazement as Jada begged and begged with wide puppy dogs eyes, ones which had panic drawn across them. She was desperate, more desperate than Daisy had ever seen anyone. On her knees humiliating herself all in the hopes of making Daisy change her mind.

'I've asked everyone and you're the only one who knows the routines.' Jada's pleading cries sound out once more. People in the dorm hallways beginning to watch on in confusion. Weird looks being given to both of them.

'I don't even train anymore' Daisy said.

'Yes you do. Coach sees you tumbling in the gym all the time' Daisy got caught out in her lie, it left her feeling bare and exposed.

She looks back to Cassie and Bella for guidance. Bella just shrugs but Cassie nods her head, telling her to do it. Maybe it's the wine she had drank or maybe it was the fact that her friend was in need of saving and she was the only one who could do it. Either way, she knows come tomorrow morning she will regret her decision.

'FINE. Fine. I'll do it, just get up of the floor' Daisy said grumpily. Jada jumped to her feet and smashed into her with a forceful, tight hug. Squealing sounds rang out from both Cassie and Jada. Cassie excited to once again see Daisy cheerleading.

'I'll ask Justin for them spare home game tickets. I have to see this' Bella said with amusement as she pulled up her phone and typed away quickly.

All of a sudden, the red wine begins to wear off and a sinking, sobering feeling manifests itself in the belly of Daisy.

What had she just agreed too?

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

It felt like a nightmare. Like it wasn't real, like it wasn't a choice she actually consciously made last night and that she would wake up at any moment.

But it was real.

She could tell it was real from the purple, yellow and white LSU cheerleading uniform that Jada had dropped off bright and early, along with gel, a comb and hairspray. It hung on the closet door and Daisy glared at it with squinted eyes. It had been almost a year since she last wore one, and she cursed herself for the fact she ever did.

Today was the stupid homecoming football game against Florida.

She felt like she was going to throw up.

Every single aspect of the day made her feel nauseous.

From having to get ready and do her hair just right, to meeting and mingling with her old teammates, some of whom she disliked, to actually having to perform on the field, to the inevitable moment Joe saw her on the sideline. Every single part of today made her feel faint, she just wanted to snap her fingers and have it be done, over with and never thought about again.

'I can do your hair, like old times' Cassie said cheerfully as she finished getting ready for the game herself, way earlier than she needed to be. Bella and her planned on joining in on the tailgate that took place before the game.

'Why did I agree to this?' Daisy groaned as she sat in the chair of her desk facing the mirror and began to do heavier makeup than she usually did.

'Because at one time, whether you believe it or not, you actually enjoyed it. Lucas doesn't have to ruin everything y'know' Cassie said as she began to slick back the top half of Daisy's silky brown hair. Her words make Daisy think about the times she was a cheerleader. It's hard to say she never enjoyed it because before college it was her most passionate hobby, but then she came to LSU and Lucas would always complain about her doing it so she ended up loathing it so much she quit.

I guess tonight she could find out whether she actually did hate it or if she had just been manipulated by an insecure ex boyfriend.

Once her hair and makeup was done, Daisy put on the tight uniform and looked in the mirror, her poms in her hand. She felt indifferent about the way she looked, she didn't love being in the uniform but she didn't hate it either.

'You look so pretty, Daisy. I'll see you at the game later, look for me in the bleachers' Cassie reassured and hugged Daisy, then Daisy left her dorm room to meet with her old teammates.

They had to get their before the game to run some routines and prepare for the fans arriving.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Gunna blared through the speakers of Joe's car as he, Justin and Ja'marr headed to the stadium for the game. He felt ready, determined and fully prepared for the homecoming game ahead. Florida was a top ranked team in SEC meaning it could be a tough night, but he knew he could lead his team to a victory. He had spent hours and hours reviewing game footage and revising the playbooks.

'You know Bella asked me for two tickets last night. Cass and her are coming' Justin dropped the bomb as she scrolled aimlessly through instagram stories. Joe wasn't shocked that Daisy wasn't coming.

'How you feel about that qb? only girl at college who doesn't care about seeing you play' Ja'marr tries to wind Joe up again, thinking that if he kept trying enough Joe would eventually crack and admit that maybe it was something more than casual. But Joe wouldn't admit something that wasn't true.

'I don't care what she does outside of my bed sheets' Joe shrugged nonchalantly, with an air of arrogance. He wasn't lying either, for the most part. He didn't care what Daisy did, where she went or where she didn't go, as long as she wasn't hooking up with teammates, his frat brothers or other football players. He wouldn't miss her tonight, in fact he might not even message her to come over. He might scout for another girl in the after party they were throwing if they won. That seemed like a good plan, he didn't want to get too involved with her. He didn't want her catching feelings for him or anything.

Joe rounded the corner to the stadium and drove into the underground parking. Ja'marr looked out the tinted window of the backseat and saw a sea of people dressed in purple and gold in the distance. The pre-game tailgate already firmly underway. Chants happen in the distance and he can see the cheerleading team amping up the fans. Shakes of poms in the air, and signs which read 'geaux tigers' being broadcasted proudly.

'I got a good feeling about tonight' Ja'marr said as Joe parked up the car and they all made their way to the locker room.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Purple figures started to fill up the bleachers of Death Valley. An hour before the coin toss was scheduled to take place. The atmosphere was charged with an electric anticipation, excitement seeming to hang in every breath.

The LSU football players ran out onto the field to a roar from the existing crowd, Florida ran onto the field with a subtle chorus of boos.

Joe runs throwing drills while Ja'marr and Justin practise routes. All of them coming together for brief moments to stretch out their muscles to avoid injury. Small talk encapsulates conversation. Until, Justin lets them know he was going to speak with Bella and Cassie briefly, just to 'make sure they found their seats'. Joe rolled his eyes as Justin ran down field. He didn't understand why Ja'marr would grill him about Daisy but left Justin alone when it came to Bella. Just because they weren't sleeping together didn't mean they weren't something more than friends.

More fans crammed into the stands of the vast stadium, a hyped music playlist rang around in the speakers. Cheerleaders were practising tumbling along the side lines, while others formed pyramids and did tosses in front of the crowd to get them pumped up for the match.

Joe and the team would always glance at the cheerleaders, they were typical young boys. Most of them members of fraternities, so when you put a bunch of girls in short skirts and tiny tops around them, they were always going to look.

Joe and Ja'marr checked them out. Eyes trailing to women up and down, most of them they recognised but some they didn't. Perhaps they were freshman who had been called up.

Ja'marr slapped Joe on the chest to get his attention. Joe's eyes lingered on a blonde cheerleader who was looking at him with a seductive smirk. He shot her a wink and watched at the blush crept up her cheeks. It could be her tonight.

Ja'marr backhanded his chest even harder. He was looking at something down field, someone standing out in a huddle.

Joe's eyes still remained on the petite platinum blonde girl. She was pretending to stretch, but really she was just giving the star quarterback a show in hopes of getting something more than his attention later.

Ja'marr whacked him once more, this time with enough force to take some of the wind out of Joe, even with all the padding on.

'WHAT MAN' Joe shouted in annoyance as his teammate breaks up the eye fucking he was doing. Ja'marr doesn't respond, his eyes just keep looking down field. Joe let out a disgruntled huff and let his eyes look to the sight that had his best friend so hypnotised.

'holy shit'

'gah damn' Ja'marr lets slip before rushing a hushed sorry.

There, stood in a huddle of other cheerleaders was Daisy and it was like everything was moving in slow motion. Like the world around Joe had paused and she was the only thing playing. The noise of the stadium was now only a dull ringing in his ear, the blonde on the sideline forgotten about in seconds.

Her hair is half up, slicked back and pinned behind with a small purple bow. The rest of it was cascading down her back in perfect curls. The light breeze of the warm Louisiana evening made strands float in the air around her. She brought a delicate hand to her face and swiped away a stray hair. A strange feeling pinches at Joe's stomach.

Olive skin glows under the warm floodlights as she talks with some boys dressed in the LSU mens cheer clothes. She laughing at something they're saying, nodding her head long with them and whatever they were saying. A pom filled hand rests on one of the guys' biceps. A different feeling rattles against Joe's ribcage.

Joe looks at what she's wearing. It's the same as everyone else on the cheer team but somehow she's wearing it differently. The tight purple skirt, which has a gold outline on the hem, clings to her body in different way, it stops on her thighs just below the end of her ass cheeks. It's tightness makes her ass look bigger than it ever had before. Joe swallowed. His eyes rake over her flat and toned torso, one that he knew all too well. Then they stopped on her chest. She was wearing a cropped purple top with a matching gold trim, one which has LSU written across in bold golden yellow lettering. Small diamonds dotted across the words. Once again, it clings to her chest snuggly, her small breasts more pronounced that they ever usually were.

Every moment is in slow motion. Thirty seconds plays like thirty minutes in Joe's mind. Never did he think he would see her here, in Death Valley, let alone dressed like that.

'Gator's incoming' Ja'marr says but Joe doesn't register it, all he can think about is how good she looked in purple.

Joe's jaw stiffens when he understands what Ja'marr meant. There were a few Florida players on their way into to tunnel and heading back to the away locker room. They should have just kept going but they didn't. One of them, a nobody, reaches out a hand and taps on Daisy's bare arm capturing her attention. Joe watches as they engage in a conversation, she's smiling at the nobody, exchanging words that were killing Joe. What did he want? What were they talking about? Why did he touch her? The conversation is over quickly, Daisy waving quickly as a goodbye to the swamp donkey as he runs off into the tunnel. The feeling is no longer just a pinch, it grasps at Joe's insides and twists them viciously. He raggedly breathed through clenched teeth.

Ja'marr looked at him.

'Don't say a word' Joe shot at him, his words stabbing sharply. They head off down into the tunnel themselves. The game would be starting in forty minutes.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Daisy was talking with some of her friends on the team, discussing what had just happened. One of the gator players, who went to high school with her, had come up and said a simple 'hello'. The guy was in the grade beneath her and was on the football team with Lucas. Daisy had also happened to have been friends with his long term girlfriend all throughout high school. They just exchanged some small talk about how small the world truly was, how his girlfriend was and how college was going for each of them. The gator wasn't a starting player this season but he hoped he could be next year.

Her talking get's interrupted.

'you're looking nice tonight miss daisy!' a flirtatious chirp came from behind her.

She turned over her shoulder. Ja'marr's cheeky grin plastered across his face. She didn't think they had seen her, she thought there was a slim chance that maybe, just maybe, they would be so distracted by the game that they would have never known she was on the sidelines but alas, she was wrong.

Joe's in front of him, walking with his head down, one hand gripping his helmet by his side and the other gripping over the padding of his chest. Daisy looks as him after offering Ja'marr a sarcastic smile back.

Joe doesn't look at her, he only glances. He tilts his head up to where she's standing, their eyes meet for only a split second. His face was hard, locked in tense emotion and his eyes are cutting her sharply with a glare she had never seen from him. He continues walking into the tunnel, not saying a word. Ja'marr runs behind, following him. They left behind a confused Daisy, and some even more confused cheer teammates.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

The marching band vibrantly sounded out LSU's signature pre - game song while Daisy and her team performed a routine to the crowd. She could see Cassie and Bella violently waving at her with both arms, trying to get her attention. She can't help but start laughing at them.

Once the routine was over, the marching band had performed and the national anthem had been sang, it was time for the cheerleaders to line the tunnel exit where the football players would be running out from. She stood beside Jada and shook her gold and purple poms in sync with the rest of her team. Nerves clawed at her beating chest. Joe's glare had left her feeling anxious. He had never looked at her like that before, a look which held so much annoyance and disgust.

The trumpets sound, and the smoke begins to pour. The beating of cleats on the pavement turns to crunches on the grass as the players come barrelling out. They're hooting and hollering adrenaline filled fighting words. Daisy can't help but look for his number and his name on the jersey, but she doesn't spot him.

That's when she sees him emerge from the corner of her eye. Not running, or bouncing out the hallway, walking slowly out the mist of smoke. Helmet off, hanging by his side in his hand. Head held up high. An aura of self-confidence and courage swirling around. Daisy's eyes slightly widen, she had never seen this side of him, especially not this close up. The cocky and arrogant frat bro persona was no longer there, and a poised leader stood in his place. It was attractive.

Joe keeps walking but stops in front of where Daisy is stood, only for a brief moment. So brief, that many people wouldn't have even noticed it but Daisy did. Joe's eyes trailed up her body, up her purple uniform before he met her eyes and shot her a look. It was a look she couldn't make out due to how quick it came and went. A fleeting glance with unwritten words that she couldn't read.

Then Joe ran. He ran onto the field placing his helmet on his head and clapping his hands to rally his team. The coin was tossed and the game kicked off.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

The purple filled stands were noisy all throughout the game. The first two quarters were tough, Florida's gators convincingly going toe to toe with LSU's tigers. When the second half came, that changed. Once again, Joe Burrow gave a heismann worthy performance, the stand out moment being when he threw a 53 yard touchdown to the hands of Ja'marr Chase.

Joe remembers when he did it, when he let the ball go from the cannon known as his right arm. It spiralled through the air with force and might. An instant touchdown. The student crowd roaring in happiness, screams leaving their mouths in celebratory glee. His team celebrated down field but he was looking at only one thing; the jumbotron.

Daisy's smiley face flashed upon it.

Daisy had been on it a lot, cheering and pushing a fake cheesy smile. One which made the apples of her cheeks bunch up and her eyes gleam. To Joe, it felt like every time LSU did something it would cut to her. The camera lingering on her for longer than it should have, getting her from every angle it could. Every dance move or cheer, captured in high definition and broadcasted across the nation. Joe knew this happened, cheerleaders going on camera when LSU score points. It happened in every tier of football but tonight it felt more than ever.

Sometimes Daisy would wave to the camera, portraying a sweet and innocent all american girl act but Joe knew she wasn't innocent. Not when she was between his bed sheets arching for him, screaming out moans of euphoric pleasure.

'Why is the cameraman so close' Joe had groaned to Ja'marr after he spotted her on it again. His pale blue eyes darting to see the cameraman in person. It was just some scrawny student media personnel, one with brown thick rimmed glasses and charcoal coloured greasy hair. He was considering going and pushing him away from her, asking what his deal was, but he knew his deal. Clearly, the camera man liked the look of Daisy more than he liked the look of the other cheerleaders.

Joe kissed his teeth.

Cameramen, Football players, Nerds, Male cheerleaders.

Was there anyone Daisy didn't infatuate?

It pissed him off. Joe didn't like the idea of sharing her with others, not because he liked her but because he didn't like the idea of losing. If Daisy went and hooked up with some nerd from her class that meant that he was better than Joe, that's how his mind worked. Never in his whole life had he had a girl not begging to be with him. Daisy made him feel on edge, like their was always a chance he would just be her second choice. Joe wasn't second to anyone or anything.

But he had no right to stop her from meeting other people, just like she had no right to stop him. It was just sex, meaningless and casual.

The game ended LSU 42 - Florida 28.

That meant a party, one that Joe wasn't really in the mood to attend, but he had no choice. It was in his house after all.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Multicoloured strobe lights flashed across the walls of the busy frat house. Heavy rap music boomed from the speakers with a shaking bass, beer pong was set up in the crowded dining room. Beer kegs littered across the deep wood floors. Drunk boys and girls lined every corner of the house. Weed stunk out the place, and vape clouds acted as make shift smoke machines. The kitchen table was crammed with various bottles of liquor, each other them half drunk as the celebration reached it's peak.

Joe was sprawled out on the couch, the petite blonde cheerleader from the field was sat on his knee. Her arm loosely laying around his neck and across his shoulders. Her name was Abby. Every few seconds, Abby would flick the poorly done extensions over her shoulder while she whispered sweet nothing's in Joe's ear, but Joe wasn't listening to or looking at her.

Daisy was standing on the edge of the dance floor, speaking with a guy. He had come up to her around forty minutes after she arrived and they hit it off. His name was Daniel. He was member of a different fraternity down the row of houses, but he studied animal sciences. Kind of a juxtaposition. He was sweet, different from most of the other frat guys she had met. She wasn't that attracted to him or anything but they were getting along really well, both of them sharing the same sense of humour. It was nice, pleasant to just be able to speak and get to someone new.

Joe's eyes narrowed on the interaction taking place. He'd been watching it since the guy first approached her. When he saw it first happen, he turned to his housemate and asked if he knew who the guy was.

'Daniel Kingston, plays lacrosse and lives a few frats down'

Joe grimaced and clicked his teeth in the sound of his disapproval. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed another drink. As he did, he tried to catch Daisy's eye line, but it didn't work. She was too focussed on her conversation with Daniel. Her cheeks flushing as she let out a laugh.

Fine. Joe thought.

and that's when he set off into the crowd to find a play mate of his own. He saw the girl from the field and knew she would be an easy girl to please. A couple flirty exchanges and dark glances later they made it to the couch where they are now, but Joe can't seem to shake the gaze he has set on Daisy.

Dark eyes filled with irritation dance over her body. Joe looks at what she's wearing, no longer was she in the purple cheerleading uniform from earlier. She was in a small black pleated mini skirt, with a simple white cropped t-shirt. Some platform low top Dr.Martins on her feet, white socks poking out up to her ankles lined with a lace frill. He can feel the fabric around his crotch begin to tighten. He distracts himself by looking away quickly and taking another drink of his beer.

Daisy felt holes burning in the side of her body, she felt the lingering eyes of someone across the room. She took a break from her conversation with Daniel and turned her head to the direction they were coming from. She wasn't met with eyes. Instead, for the first time that evening, she saw Joe. He was laid back on the couch, taking a sip of beer and Daisy's old cheer teammate Abby was sat on his lap. Her head resting in the crook of Joe's shoulder, her hand stroking his arm. Her eyes for a brief moment widened in shock, not expecting to see the sight before her. She bit her lip, to hide any emotion from showing on her face.

Daisy couldn't tell how she felt. Joe wasn't doing anything wrong but it felt weird to see him with another girl. Daisy gulped and brought her own red solo cup to her lips, relief in the form of strong sweet liquor. A light burning sensation cascaded down her chest.

She glanced back at Joe. His hand was now rubbing on the thigh of Abby in a way that looked almost comforting, something more than just typical hook up behaviour. She drank another gulp, this time it was bigger than her last. Her green eyes still remained static on the couch.

Joe let himself look back to Daisy, only this time she was looking back. A light frown or a mild scowl was decorating her face. Daniel was still talking to her but it was clear she was no longer listening. Joe felt the smug smile creep back onto his face, his actions with Abby had effected her. Made her notice him and he liked it. He shot her over a wink. One which was cheeky, slightly cruel. He continued stoking the thigh of Abby and brushed some hair from her neck, planting a small peck. He did it just so Daisy would see. When he looked back to see her reaction, a momentary panic set it.

Daisy was no longer stood at the corner of the dance floor and neither was Daniel.

Joe shot up off the couch, ignoring Abby's whining voice asking him what he was doing or where he was going. She called for him to come back but Joe only one thing on his mind -- finding Daisy.

The room was dark, the strobe lights making faces only appear in brief flashes. Hands sway in the air as like a G6 by Far East Movement plays out the speakers. A frat party classic that had already been played multiple times. Slurred drunken voices shout out the lyrics as Joe tries to push his way around the crowd, looking in every direction for a five foot three brunette. His frustration growing and growing with every drunk person that gets in his way, at one point he gives someone a hard shove.

when sober girls around me they be actin' like they drunk

when sober girls around me they be actin'-actin' like they drunk

Every lyric that sounded out of the overplayed song only irritated Joe more. He couldn't see her, not over the stupid flashing lights and clouds of fruity vape smoke.

'Move, move out the fuckin' way' shouting as he pushed people.

He ran a stressed hand through his blonde hair, a sheen of sweat sticking across his tanned skin. The overfilled room creating an unbearably humid heat.

'yo man, y'good?' A hand grabs his bicep, he shrugs it off quickly before looking at the culprit. It's Ja'marr, a deep ruby red haired girl is clinging his his arm drunkenly. Lipstick smudged on her face and around Ja'marr's lips. Usually, Joe would have taken the moment to give Ja'marr a pat on the back, a silent well done for his hookup but he was in too much of a hurry.

poppin' bottles in the ice, like a blizzard.

when we drink we do it right gettin' slizzard.

'You seen Daisy?' Joe shouts over the loud music. Ja'marr shakes his head with a light shrug of his shoulders and a small downward turn of the mouth.

'Daisy Moore?' The red head shouted at Joe over Ja'marr.

Joe nodded quickly, not questioning how the red head knew her name.

'She's over there, near the kitchen' The red head pointed in a direction which Joe didn't hesitate to follow, once more working his way through the warm and sweaty crowd of intoxicated students. Thankfully, at six'four Joe was able to see over most of the crowd. His icy eyes scanning no longer in frustration but anger, an anger which intensified when he finally spotted her in the sea of people.

it's that 808 bump, make you put your hands up

make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up.

Daisy is hanging from the neck of Daniel. Close. Way too fucking close. Daniel's hands are on the small of her lower back, maybe even the top of her ass. It's too dark for Joe to make it out clearly. What he can see, is that their foreheads are almost touching and they're looking at each other as they bounce along and sing to the song.

Daisy pulls her arms from off the boys neck, putting them in the air while she presses her body against his. Slowing rolling her hips up and down. Joe watches as Daniel moves a hand from her ass and instead moves a stray hair from her face, looking longingly into her gleaming eyes. Joe knows what going to happen next, and he won't let it.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

The bright lights of the frat house startled party goers. The once booming music, now cut off at the source. Groans of displeasure and disorientation bounce around the house.

Some frat guy in a backwards cap and a Ralph Lauren three quarter zip stands at the top of the stairs with a bright orange megaphone.

'IF YOU'RE NOT A BROTHER OR WITH A BROTHER, GET THE FUCK OUT'

The party was over.

People rushed around, grabbing their alcohol and belongings from all over.

Daniel grabbed Daisy's hand and led her toward the large double doors at the front of the house. She followed coyly behind him. People stumbled past them, every one pushing their way out the doors as the frat brother on the mega phone told them to hurry up. Daisy kept her head down and looked at her feet, making sure she wouldn't stumble over herself while walking out.

When she stepped outside, the cool air hit her like a refreshing cold drink on a summer afternoon. Clean air filling up her second hand smoke filled lungs. She goes to take another step, still clinging onto Daniel's hand but the feeling of another hand on her forearm hits her like an electric shock.

Joe waited outside by the door to grab her. He saw her walking out behind Daniel as he gave her a hand to cling onto. How kind of him, Joe's sarcastic thoughts only served to piss him off more. He quickly grabbed onto her forearm and pulled her back in to the house.

It all happened so fast. Daisy was disorientated, not understanding what was going on. One minute she was following a new friend out of the frat house, the next she was back inside it by the tug from an unknown hand.

'Bro, she's min-' she heard Daniel's voice argue at the doorway.

'Stop fuckin' talkin.' She recognises Joe's voice and raises her head abruptly. She watches as he shoves Daniel out of the front door with such fierce force that he falls over. Then he slams it shut, a startlingly loud thud echoing in the empty house. Everyone else had left already.

Drunk frat brothers and their girls wobbled to different bedrooms rooms.

'Go to my room' Joe's not looking at her. His toned back, covered by the grey cloth of his t-shirt, still facing her. His tone was harsh, and commanding. His voice low and brooding.

'No' Daisy quietly chirps back, Joe's demeanour was intimidating. So intimidating, she wasn't sure if she wanted to fight him and his words in this moment.

Joe let out a long breath of frustration, his hand rubs over his eyes.

'Get up the fucking stairs now' His tone now somehow even more harsh, his words no longer only commanding but filled with a rudeness Daisy was not fond of.

'N.O...no' Her response is feisty, spelling out the word for Joe in the hopes he would understand it better.

Joe spins around, his muscular arms cross over his chest in agitation. First, she was flirting on the field with some gator football player, then she ignores him all night, then she decided she's going to leave his house with another guy and to top it all off, she was now refusing to do what she was told.

Daisy swallows a lump in her throat as she meets Joe's intense, burning gaze. The air around her being sucked away by an invisible vacuum.

Within a split second, she's in the air. Thrown over Joe's shoulders and he's marching them towards the stairs.

Ja'marr snickers from the couch where he and the red head are sat cuddling, watching the Joe and Daisy show go down with amusement. Daisy starts hitting Joe's back and wriggling as they are halfway up the stairs. Cries to put her down ring out. Joe doesn't falter, he could barely feel the small hits coming from her dainty hands.

When they get to his room he slams the door shut with his foot and put back Daisy down on the ground. Daisy pushes herself away from him, more annoyed by Joe than she had ever been before.

'What was that?' Her chest rises and falls quickly as she gawks at him in utter disbelief.

Joe doesn't reply to her, instead he begins to take off the wristbands that lay colourfully on his forearm. He unclasps the watch he always wears and places it on the cluttered desk in the corner of his room.

'You have no right to drag me around like I'm just some sort of toy you pick and choose when to play with' Daisy's voice is shaky. She was never good with confrontation, but this was something that needed to be said. Joe was hooking up with, or at least kissing the neck of her teammate Abby and that was okay, but the second she talks to a guy he becomes demanding and controlling. He was hypocrite. and a total jerk.

'You're a real fucking headache sometimes, y'know that Daisy'

Joe's words cut through Daisy's stomach like they were a knife. Slicing her open and letting her bleed out. Flashes of her past relationships arguments rattled her mind.

'Me? This is all you Joe. My night was going fine but you ruined it' She spat back at him, a deep loathing crawling up her spine.

'You don't do what you're told' Joe's called back. His jaw set tight and heavy, nostrils lightly flaring.

Daisy's face contorts in confusion. What was he on about? She quite literally did anything Joe asked of her, she stayed away from his teammates, his frat brothers and other football players. She never told anyone about them, she never stopped him from speaking to or hooking up with other women.

'Flirting with that fuckin' gator player.' Venom laces his words.

Daisy looked at Joe again, only becoming more confused. She hadn't spoken to any football players other than him and Ja'marr, she hadn't even spoken to Justin. He vanished somewhere after the game. Likely hanging out with Bella.

'On the sideline, in your little cheerleading uniform' Joe tries to make her remember but he only winds himself up more in the process. Why couldn't people just stay away from her, it would make his life so much easier, so much less stressful if he didn't have to worry about what situations she was getting herself in. He recollects seeing her for the first time, in her purple LSU uniform and watching as some nobody player steals her attention. Joe shakes his head, trying to shake the thoughts away.

The realisation dawns upon Daisy. She has to let out a laugh.

Joe's face contorts in further anger, his nostrils flaring and huffed breaths exhaling from his chest.

Daisy collects herself and lets out a sigh. 'That was just some guy from high school, he was in the grade below. I also happened to be pretty good friend with his girlfriend, the one he's still with. We were talking about her. Dumbass'

The world crumbles around Joe. He's humbled. Standing at six foot four but feeling minature. Joe let his own ego, and his own cockiness control his thoughts and over reacted at something minor.

'and Daniel?' Joe tries to save face by bringing up the other problem from tonight.

'and Abby?' Daisy jabs back. 'You say no teammates but she's on the cheer team'

'Please. You stood in for one game, you're not on the team' Joe tuts with a click of his teeth as he shuts down Daisy's line of argument.

'Is she your type?' Daisy wonders out loud.

'Is Daniel yours?' Joe challenges her question.

Daisy walks over to his bed and sits on it. She folds one leg across the other and begins to untie her shoelaces. She looks at Joe, scanning the emotion behind his ocean eyes.

'No' her word is hushed, almost whispered out into the silent room that surrounds them.

'Are you and Abby hooking up?' Daisy probes for more information almost shyly. She thinks back to seeing them together on the couch, the way Joe stroked her thigh in a manner which looked more comfortable, more friendly than he ever was with her.

'That shit doesn't concern you' Joe shuts her question down quickly.

'I was just wondering' Daisy backs herself up.

'we aren't, but don't ask me shit like that again' Joe answers her when he can tell her face has dropped, when he can tell her shoulders are tenser than usual and her plump lips are pouty.

'You and I, we're friends, dais. That's it. Friends who fuck meaninglessly' Joe clarifies the agreement.

'we're not friends Joey' Daisy speaks frankly but an aura of seduction clung to every word. Her voice soft and sweet like honey. She picks up her shoes and puts them over by a pile of dirty football clothes and a half deflated football before returning to sit on the bed. She leans back, her forearms propping her up. Every movement dripped in sex appeal.

Goosebumps dotted over Joe's skin as he heard his nickname roll off her tongue like a gentle harmony. 'Joey'. Most people called him Joey, but when she said it it sounded different, more delicate, more soft, more sexy. His deep eyes roamed slowly over her body, taking in every detail of her.

we're not friends joey

Her seductive words play back in his head as he studied the curves he was beginning to know so deeply.

Daisy's own piercing stare is looking at him, her eyes darting over his athletic form studying the muscles she was beginning to know so well.

and they're in that place again. The Garden of Eden, in which both of them are a forbidden fruit waiting to be bitten into. The place where the air is so thick with tension, it makes it hard for them to breathe. Pounding heart rates and yearning thoughts control every movement. Green and blue eyes glossing over with a deep hunger that needs to be satiated. They needed each other.

Joe doesn't hesitate, he rips his grey t-shirt over his head and chucks it in any direction. He goes to get on top of Daisy.

She puts her leg up. A pointed foot on his bare chest stopping him from coming any closer.

The pleats of her black skirt fall backwards and can see what was hidden underneath it. A sheer red lace thong was all she had on. His mouth waters at the sight.

'Thought I was too much of a headache for you' Daisy's words are slow and tormenting. She dragged out the insult he had called her only moment prior. She couldn't let him get away with it that easily, she had to see him squirm. Her foot was still placed on his toned chest, right in the center, holding him back from being able to touch what he so desperately desires.

'dais-' Joe starts.

'say you're sorry' Daisy cuts him off. Joe looks at her wide eyed. Daisy was never one to be commanding, especially not in the bedroom. That's where he took control. But now she had switched the roles, and he wasn't sure if he liked it.

'don't play fuckin' games with me' He grumbled.

'say you're sorry' She repeated her words firmly.

'FUCK!' Joe glances at the red lace that is torturing him. An agonising throbbing sensation in his crotch.

'I'm sorry' His words are small, pushed out his mouth unwillingly but it's enough for Daisy to feel accomplished.

'thank you baby' Her soft voice purred, her leg dropped from his chest swiftly and she lefts him have full access.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Ragged breaths ripple through the room. Warm, humid air clings to them. They're naked, skin to skin, pressed against each other as Joe bury's his length inside her with fast thrusts. Her hands grip and tug at his silky hair, soft moans leaving both of their mouths. Joe's head in the crook of her neck, nipping and pinching at her collarbone with his teeth.

The red lace panties long gone, thrown on the headboard of his bed, decorating it like they were a trophy.

Daisy wraps her legs around Joe's waist, bringing him even closer. She wanted to feel every inch inside her. The wooden bed creaked around them sounding out a painfully obvious rhythm. The headboard banged lightly against the white walls.

Joe's teeth nipped at her perky breasts, one hand moving to grab the other, lightly massaging it.

Joe flipped them in a swift manoeuvre. Daisy now perched up on top of him, sitting pretty on his thick length. It was rare she was on top. Very rare. She looked down at him, feeling some slight nerves run through her system.

'ride me cowgirl'

His large hands gripped tightly at her hip bones, tender squeezes which made her feel more reassured.

Slowly she began to circle her hips, ever so slightly moving up and down as he remained inside her. Joe guided her every move. Deep eyes traced her toned figure, her waist small and her hips wide as she straddled him. Her breasts lightly bouncing up and down, hypnotising him. Her abdomen contracting with every whine of her waist, with every drawn out roll of the hips. Her olive skin glowed with sticky dew, a testament to the heat they created in the room. Strands of her brunette hair lay messily around her peach flushed face, bouncing with her every movement. A plump pink lip bitten between her teeth. Her head tossed back in pleasure, eyes closed looking up the the ceiling. Silent prayers to god even when she was sinning.

The strange feeling pinched at Joe's stomach again. He couldn't take his eyes off her, an aura as golden as the summer sun shone around her. She looked ethereal, like an angel sent down to earth from heaven. She didn't look real, she was a sight that seemed too good to be true.

He shook away the thoughts with a couple hard blinks, focussing no longer on the sight of her but the pleasure she was giving him. The transactional, meaningless sex between them.

Daisy picked up her pace, leaning slightly forward. Her open palms pressed onto his strong chest as she bounced on his length, feeling him deeply. Joe smacked her ass leaving behind a harsh red mark and a soft, stinging sensation that sparked an electric thrill within her. Her mouth parted with a subtle whimper, one that makes Joe smirk.

'you like it huh baby?'

Daisy could only nod her head as she continued riding him. Her stamina tiring, and her legs beginning to ache. Joe could tell. He could feel it in her slowing pace, and the ragged breathes she let out.

He curled a warm arm around her and flipped them once again, so he was back on top of her. Her weak legs shaking against his rib cage as she instinctively wrapped them back around his wide abdomen. His gold chain dangled against her chest, a sweet cooling sensation briefly skimming over her burning skin.

'let me make you finish' Joe breathed softly into the sultry air around them. Sloppy wet kisses laid on her chest as he looked up at her through his eyelashes.

'you been so good for me' His words sound almost teasing, almost mocking. A bold playful glint sparkled in his eyes as he watched her squirm beneath his soft touches.

'you want it baby' Joe whispered. The room more silent than it had been all night as their movements paused. Joe still inside her dripping flower.

Daisy whimpered. She hated when he did this. She hated begging for him but he made her feel too good to resist. Her kitty purred for him, pulsating in deep yearns.

'i want it' a shy whisper from her soft, full lips is all it takes.

Joe begins to thrust into her, this time faster and harder. Daisy's nails grip onto his back. Scratching hard as she tried to control the pleasure overtaking her body.

Both of them were close. Their climax's pooling with a strong pressure in the bottom of their torso's.

Daisy reaches it first. Joe places a gentle hand on her mouth as she cries out his name louder than she ever had before. Joe stifles a laugh, a cocky one. If he hadn't covered he mouth, she may have woken up the whole fraternity.

Joe continues pumping into her, his own high coming closer and closer, he's about the pull out when Daisy's words stop him. Hitting him like a cold slap to the face.

'You can finish inside me y'know. I'm on the pill'

Joe looks up briefly to the sky. A silent thank you in his thought. Why hadn't she told him this before?

He pins her leg up as he continues his hard pumps inside her. Jaw clenched, eyes tightly shut as he prepared himself for the ecstasy that was coming.

He came inside her. His toes curling at the feeling.

Tired breaths sounded out softly in the muggy sex filled air. Foreheads pressed against each other as they both came down from the adrenaline of their blissful highs. For a brief moment, their eyes open and meet each others. Daisy's eyes soft and doe like. Joe's gaze a tender one. Unreadable meaning written in each of them. Deafening silence filling up the space around them.

After two seconds, their eyes widen in realisation of their closeness. Joe jumps off her, leaving her bare skin coldly laying in his navy sheets. Daisy, suddenly feeling exposed, grabs the blanket and covers herself. For the first time, she didn't have to clean herself up.

Joe rummaged through the messy middle drawer of his dressing table, grabbing her a pair of his boxers and the same spongebob t-shirt she always wore when she stayed round. He placed them at the end of the bed for her to grab, before he himself grabbed some boxers putting them on.

Daisy shuffled in the bed as she put the clothes on he had given her. The boxers were baggy and the t-shirt fit her more like a dress, but they were comfortable. This was the most aftercare Joe ever offered her, so she took what she could get.

'Pass me your phone' Joe said casually, holding out the palm of his hand.

Daisy did so hesitantly. She watched as he tapped at her screen a few times and typed something in, then tossing it back on the bed beside her.

He'd added himself as a contact.

She looked at him and he could feel her questioning gaze.

'It's easier to message this way and uhh-' Joe said as he scratched the back of his head with a hesitation to his next words. 'just in case you need anything or whatever' He tried to complete his sentence coolly but it wasn't effective. Was this him trying to say he cared about her? Daisy wondered or maybe it was just because it was easier to organise their hookups. Daisy went with the second option.

They slept beside each other once again, underneath the comfy sheets of Joe's bed. This time closer than usual. Her back pressed against his. The warmth of his skin radiating against her all night long.

Sweet dreams softly filling her slumber.

౨ৎ

[wasteddmoondust]

an old diary || remus lupin

pairing: remus lupin x reader 812 words, fluff, remus finds your old diary from this request! a/n: i twisted the request just a teeny bit away from what you might have been expecting. but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! this was so fun to write and the scenario is just too cute hehe

"Hey, Remus?" He hears your voice call from the library . "When you're free, do you think you can help me organise the storage room? There's a load of books from years ago that I need sorted."

Remus doesn't even hesitate on his answer, he knows he'll do anything for you. The both of you have stuck close since your school days, and took care of each other through the war. He feels forever indebted to you especially for that.

And that's how he finds himself in said storage room, the musty smell of yellowing paper wafting around him.

He scans the stacks of books. There's not many, compared to the rest of the library at least. This should just take the afternoon.

He starts to sort each stack, slowly making a system in his brain on how to tackle this task. But as he's on this third pile. a glimmer catches his eye, and he turns towards the direction of it. Underneath a pile, something familiar is sticking out, but he just can't put his finger on it.

He decides to abandon whatever task he was supposed to do and reaches for the book. Carefully, he slides it out of the stack.

The name on the book knocks his breath.

Y/N L/N, 1977.

That's what is was, your old diary from seventh year.

Remus finds himself frozen. That year was wild, to say the least. The bittersweetness of his final year, relishing of how much youth him and his had left. But mostly, it was the prelude to most of the pain he would experience in his life. This book is holding whatever you were feeling in those days.

He knows he shouldn't peek.

He flips the book open to a random page.

15 September, 1977 Today we went out to the lake, and I realised no words can describe the amount of love I have for my friends. To my dearest girls, Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Alice. I hope we are never too far apart. We shall grow old together gossip even as we do now.

Remus' heart swells at the sentiment, knowing each of the mentioned girls' fates. He flips to other pages, which mostly are written about the daily life of a Hogwarts student. However, a glimpse of his own name gets his attention. He stops to read the page.

25 January, 1978 Remus Lupin. Oh the man that you are. You and your stupid jumpers and stupid books and stupid tea you take with milk and two sugars. What I find the most stupid is the way you treat me. It makes me question who I am to you. Your friend? Maybe more? I can only dream. I don't think you'll ever see me that way. I'm perfectly happy where we are as friends. But somehow if I get even the slightest chance I will be taking it. Even if it comes ten years from now.

He's stunned, to say the least. He never knew you harboured these feelings back then, and wonders if you still had them now.

It's funnier especially when after all this time he never found a way to say he has those feelings too.

He knows what he should do. There's a newfound feeling of courage and bravery in him, and quickly finishes his tasks before you leave the library for the day.

"Oh, done already?" you ask, packing your work bag before leaving. "That was quick. Did you have much trouble?"

"No, not at all. Found some pretty good things in there," he says, trying to act casual. He hides the diary behind his back.

"Really? Do tell."

He pulls out the book from behind. You gasp.

"No way!" You grab it from his hold. "That was in there the entire time?"

"Mhm, I took a peak, if you don't mind," He says.

You furrow your brows. "You did?"

He nods slowly.

"And what did you read...?" you ask. He knows that you know what was written in that diary.

He shrugs. "Let's just say..." he looks around avoiding eye contact. "You said ten years, and it's been fifteen. So would you still?"

You frown, but you know exactly what he's talking about. "Still what?"

"Take the chance?"

You groan and cover your face, feeling your cheeks heat up. You hear Remus chuckle. "So is that a yes?"

Your hands leave your face, showing a pout. "I can't believe you read that!" you swat him playfully. "But yes... I would..."

"Brilliant," he says, smoothing your hair down and smiling at you.

"Now what?" you ask. You mentally kick yourself for asking such a question.

Remus grins, the same grin you've grown to love over the years. "I'd like to kiss you now, if it's alright with you."

The both of you lean in. In the library after fifteen years, he's finally yours.

[vellichorsmystique]

The Little Things

⭒ kuroo testsurou, oikawa toru, bokuto kotaro, iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader (all seperate)

⭒ w.c. ~2.1k

⭒ Drabble set that I'm reposting from my old and deleted blog, it's mostly the same I only did some minimal editing at some parts. Established relationships for all of these. Hurt/comfort for a couple but we're mainly focusing on the comfort aspect. Genuinely most of this is like domestic fluff

⭒ No use of y/n...implied spoilers for the time skip in Bokuto's part, Iwaizumi's part takes place during the time skip as well however any concrete details are left to be ambiguous so no spoilers are actually mentioned for him.

⭒ In a world built upon the convenience of communication, and where the testament of love can be waxed poetically with a wide array of synonyms; sometimes you find that it's the actions that speak much louder than the words ever could. Aka it's the little things they do for you.

Kuroo:

It happens when you're sick, muscles and limbs sore, throat raw from sinuses, and a desolate feeling seemingly carved from within your chest. Just sleep it off and skip school for the day is the brilliant plan your ailed brain could conjure at the moment, so you do just that. It’s not like you’ll miss anything important right? 

Wrong- waking up to the sporadic texts from Kuroo, while usually a good thing, instead left your palms slick and mind running wild. Afterall the chemistry class you two shared together had an important lab done today, and it would be featured in your upcoming unit test. Raising the pads of your fingers to your forehead you began to massage your temple, wincing at the oncoming headache. Lamenting over your decision of whether you should email your overworked teacher or just go back to sleep. You find that your pondering is interrupted by the front door slamming open. 

Revealing none other than Testurou himself. His usual insufferable smirk is plastered across his visage, and he seems to be exuding a lackadaisical continence. While giddy you still roll your eyes as he saunters in, and that's when you notice the few bags in his grasp. Before you can even question he’s already setting the contents out, a college ruled spiral notebook is being pushed towards you, and when you open it to the recent notes his usual chicken scratch is actually legible. 

Looking back up you're greeted by the sight of a couple empty glass beakers, some vials of different chemicals, and wait… is that a bunsen burner? Eyes blown wide you look up at Kuroo, downed in a haphazardly placed set of lab goggles, arms crossed across his chest, and a beaming smile revealing pearly whites. 

“Did… Did you steal lab equipment from our teacher?” while a rasp it still leaves your mouth an octave higher than your usual voice. All he does is laugh at your stupefied expression. 

“I wouldn’t call it stealing, more along the lines of borrowing, besides I'm sure she won’t mind…” he trails off, but that stupid smirk is back on his face, and you begrudgingly decide it would not be smart to kiss him– afterall you were sick. So instead you sit up and lean forward, eyes squinted and a mumbled ‘you're an idiot’ leaves your lips. And Kuroo, well all Kuroo does is laugh at the statement, eyes glimmering, and grin stretching impossibly wider, because yeah he may be an idiot, but he’s your idiot.

Oikawa: 

You're on the edge of this mental precipice, eyes zeroed in on the red ink, the bold lettering taunting your very intelligence. You…you failed? How, you had studied so hard though? Hunched over text after text, eyes blurring from the onslaught of study material. But you had pushed through, you were determined that you were going to pass. All that effort was for naught. Snagging your bottom lip between your teeth, you begin to blink slowly as a way to staunch any pesky tears. Breathing deeply you straighten your back into an attentive position, pointedly ignoring the chocolate brown eyes staring at you with concern.  

Of course Oikawa was always too attentive for his own good though, after all one sly glance towards the paper you shielded with your arms and he could see a sliver of red scrawling. So putting two and two together he figures it out. Words would not suffice his point and thinking quickly he settled for his speciality.

 Annoyance Physical affection. As soon as the teacher had looked away he all but melted against you, a heavy sigh, and half lidded eyes pointed in your direction. 

“Toru, get off of me,” it’s a whispered threat as you try to shove him off, yet he just won't budge. As if to pester you further he turns his face towards your cheek, tip of his nose ghosting the flesh, and puffing out his own cheeks he forms an ‘o’ with his mouth and blows. Reactivity you nail him with your elbow, and although he winces he remains undeterred as he nudges your cheek with his nose. Flyaway strands of brown colored hair tickle your own skin, and from your peripheral you can see the goofy expression that Oikawa had fixed onto his face. You can not help but let out a small stream of giggles, and remarkably enough the bad grade isn’t weighing so heavily on your psyche. 

Oikawa finally removes his weight off of you, right before the teacher notices, but he still stares at you. Eyes slightly squinted, lips upturned into a soft smile, and body tilted towards you. While he was successful in his endeavors of cheering you up, that doesn't necessarily mean you’ll not be plagued by it later. So he formulated yet another plan. 

And when you get home to your apartment, only to be greeted with Oikawa in your kitchen, a serving of your comfort food on an outstretched plate, and him dawned in a regifted frilly apron from Iwaizumi (it used to say ‘Best Wing Spiker” but the words wing spiker were now crossed out, and instead placed above it was the word “Setter” in loopy strokes). Well that's only something you and him would need to know. 

Bokuto:

It’s too bright. It’s too loud. It’s too, too much. Nausea rolled around heavily in your gut. All while blinding pain racked across your entire temple. The glaring stadium lights also did not help with your situation, spots of your own sight conjured flashes and random blurbs of black to settle over your vision. You really didn’t want to come to this game… but a promise was a promise. You can practically feel the pitying gazes of the patrons surrounding you, their minds probably chastising you for not leaving yet. But you wouldn’t, dawned in a black jersey with the number “12” printed on it in a bold font, reminded and added to your resolve to stay.

Risking a furtive glance in the direction of the scorekeeper, you thanked every higher power out there that the game had ended. However you quickly took it all back at the resounding buzz that signified the end, leaving you breathless and dizzy. The Jakles won and for that you were happy, after all that would mean the man you came here for would be exhilarated at the results. As much as you wanted to run over to Bokuto, lightheadedness tugged at your lead like limbs, and now your neck was starting to hurt. Plus the unbearable staccato pounding on both sides of your temple wouldn’t let you focus well. So you stayed behind, shoulders hunched, hands desperately trying to magically massage away the pain, all while moisture began building in the corners of your eyes.. 

Time seems to pass agonizingly slow in the monumental stadium, and all you can do is sniffle and wither at the sound of your own quiet whimpers. You aren’t aware of the presence in front of you, at least not until they press their index finger on your arm right below the sleeve of the borrowed jersey. A rhythmic tapping leaving a comforting warmth to convalesce around you. It’s a fleeting touch, and oh, so ever gentle. That momentarily your sniffles pause, and when you finally crane your head up you find yourself locked eyes with golden ones. Although your everything hurts, and though the lights may be too bright, and the sounds may still be too loud you can’t help the giddy smile that stretches across tear stained cheeks. 

“Hi Ko,” the breathless rasp leaves you almost instantaneously, and he hums in response, head dipping in action and streaked hair swaying in sync. For a moment you feel touched after all you knew he would be so giddy and excited to share the thrill that he felt in the form of grandiose gestures and onomatopoeias, but he noticed what you're going through and he’s trying to mitigate it. Gently he encircles his arms around your shoulders, pulling you from your upright fetal-esque position, and the two of you (him basically carrying you) head out of the building. He had said his goodbyes to his fellow teammates already considering you two had just breezed past them to get to the exit. 

And when you two get home, he’s already flipping off the lights, guiding you into a comfortable position on the duvet sheets of your shared bed. When he comes back his hands hold a heat compress (as well as a cold one) and some random soda that had been sitting in your refrigerator. He passes you a Tylenol as well, and you take a sip of the drink. The dark complimented by the blissful silence blankets you and you can feel the migraine recede into baby thumps. Nothing too painful for you to manage. In the dark, you fumble around until your palm finds a warm one near you, grasping it you can practically picture the childish grin he’s wearing. Instead of voicing out your thanks, you instead scooch forward, sitting up right in front of Bokuto you lean your head against his shoulder, hand squeezing his own tighter. And he hums happily in response, chest moving as he lets out the sound. Whatever you need he’ll do it, gestures and all.

Iwaizumi:

When Iwaizumi enters the house, at a time where the stars are high and dancing in the sky, he notices your slouched form on the couch. Laptop toppling dangerously close to the edge of your lap, neck rested uncomfortably on the arm of the couch, and the lights off- minus the tv which had some random cartoon sending flashes of vividly tinted light splashing the room. 

Soft snores spill from your lips, and all he can do is sigh, heavy footfalls nearing your slumbering figure. Warm hands save the laptop from falling off its precarious position in your lap, should you fidget any longer, and he can only squint at the brightness. Of course, falling asleep while working on an assignment…how in character for you. Placing the item down on the coffee table he gradually rises back up, hands resting against his hips as he forms some type of plan. 

A thin line of drool had dribbled across your cheek, and some hair was messily swiped in front of your face, so you seemed to be deep asleep. Hypothetically speaking he could just leave you there- but one more glance at your uncomfortable position makes him wince. So he reaches down grasping at the beaten remote, (months of falling off of various heights has led to its predicament of duck tape keeping it together) before finally clicking the button to promptly shut off the tv. Now bathed in darkness he gathers up the near forgotten laptop, as well as your barely alive phone, the battery symbol showcasing the color red. So he plunders forward, past the empty kitchen the smell of whatever you had cooked to satiate yourself lingering gently in the air, past the hallway filled with different portraits of you and him(as well as his former Seijoh teammates), until finally entering the threshold of your shared room. 

There’s a soft light spilling from the mess that is your desk, probably some random desk lamp you had said you needed when you already had others. But it’s not like he could resist your carefully calculated pouts, so you still ended up getting it anyway. Placing the laptop down softly in a clear spot on your desk, he connected the lonesome charger to its port. Before plugging up your phone as well on the bed side table. 

In his momentary absence, he notes, you had somehow moved from your position on the couch- into haphazardly dangling off the arm of it. Unable to hold back the exasperated snort that leaves his mouth, he finally reaches under you, hefting you up in his hold. A tense silence freezes him from walking when you let out a sudden exhale, but the sigh that leaves you soon after, makes him step forward. 

When he finally gets you both situated in bed he doesn’t expect you to subconsciously wiggle closer towards him, nor does he expect the whispered sigh of his first name to leave your lips. So when he finally goes to sleep, he goes to sleep with a flushed face and you tucked in his chest, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

⭒ end notes: GUYS HAIKYUU IS SO BACK RAHHHHH. Anyways this drabble set was wrote in 2022 (yikes) but I figured what better way to soft launch the fact that I've fallen in the vices of Haikyuu then by posting it on this account. I have another haikyuu piece in the works, but if you all are interested in a part two of this let me know! I quite like this concept of loosely connected vignettes :))

[skibasyndrome]

for the soft smut prompt what if i told you “do you want to take it off of me?” + 🎀wille🎀

Marti-Mausssss, thank you so much for the prompt and I'm SO sorry that I made you wait so long for 🎀her🎀, I've been lacking inspiration and dkgahlkdf if we're honest with ourselves... this one only exists because YOU sent the inspiring insta-post (tshirt with a frog and the words "trans rights"), so. Well. Have my humble and very belated offering of our beautiful transfemme Wille <3 I hope you guys enjoy reading!!!

cw: very mildly nsfw. mostly just. simp-y simon

Most of the time, Simon really doesn't mind that Wille is taller than him. He loves the way some of her dresses make her look like she's all legs, he loves that, by now, she's confident enough, sure enough of herself and who she is to even occasionally bring out some heels. The one time, the only time, he feels a twinge of regret, a stupid and irrational thought that makes him want to shake his head at himself, is when, some mornings, beautiful and naked and in search of a piece of clothing to quickly throw on, Wille doesn't, can't, grab one of Simon's shirts off the pile-chair in their bedroom.

It's fine, of course, it's perfectly okay. Wille doesn't need his girlfriend to wear his clothes. She's wonderful in and out of whatever clothes she wants. And it's not like there was a lot of clothes sharing back in the day, when they were closer in their style of clothing. At least not in that direction. Simon still keeps some of Wille's old sweaters in his dresser. Even wear them, sometimes. But like clockwork the thought returns, quiet and easy to stamp down but still kind of annoying. If he were just little bigger, a little taller, he could watch Wille slip on one of his t-shirts in the morning. Whenever he allows himself to bask in the fantasy, he feels a twinge of wants deep in his abdomen. And then he shakes himself out of it. So when, one fateful Friday evening, he comes home from class to find Wille on their sofa, book in hand, reading glasses on and- wearing an oversized t-shirt that he's never seen in her before, he stops in his tracks. Wille, seemingly unaware of Simon being dragged through all nine circles of hell at the same time, looks up from her book, dazzling smile and floppy bangs framing her face. She puts the book down, stretches her arms, then her legs, and legs they are, bare and somehow looking even longer when the fabric of the shirt slides up her thighs. Simon swallows hard, tells himself to fucking breathe, oh my god, and tries to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. "Hi," he says, and must be failing spectacularly at acting normal. Wille tilts her head to the side a little, eyebrow raised, but deems it better not to ask. She meets him in the doorway of their living room, putting her arms on his shoulders and a sweet and short nice-to-have-you-back-home kiss on his lips and for a moment, way too short and way too fleeting, he gets to run his hands down over her, soft thick fabric and back and waist and hips underneath. She's gone as quickly as she has appeared in front of him, telling Simon to come help with dinner as soon as he's done in the shower. Simon just stays there, for another minute, until his knees are stable enough and his brain isn't just Wille, shirt, thighs, legs, Wille anymore. Simon makes it about five minutes through dinner prep until she calls him out on it. He really thought he was being very casual, has only looked once or twice and tried very hard not to get stuck on that spot there, mid-thigh, where the hem of the dark graphic tee ends and the endless expanse of Wille's pale skin begins, but- okay, yeah. He has to lift his head from staring when Wille says his name.

"Something is up with you," she says, putting down the carrot she was in the process of peeling. It isn't an accusation, not even a question. A simple statement, because she knows him. Simon stares down at the salad bowl in front of him and wills his cheeks to stop burning. He needs to get it the fuck together, he knows what she looks like naked, she's seen her in tiny little lingerie, how the fuck is this t-shirt making him sweat. "Don't know what you're talking about," he lies, pointedly casual, moving the chopped olives into the bowl. And of course she doesn't buy it. "Liar," she says, still painfully matter-of-fact about seeing right through his bullshit. When Simon doesn't react, he suddenly feels a poke in the side of his ribcage. He yelps in surprise, moving away from her tickling. When he looks over to her again, readying himself to fight back should she decide to unleash her full wrath on him, he finds Wille throwing him an exaggerated pout, all puppy eyes and plush bottom lip. And that is somehow worse. "You're being weird," she whines, dragging out the words. Simon has always fashioned himself fairly strong, but when she shuffles closer, chest against his, arms over his shoulders again, Simon thinks he's going to die. She's got him cornered, kitchen counter against his ass - and thank fuck, because his knees feel funny again - and the full length of Wille's body pressed against his front. As if on autopilot, his arms close around here, fingers dipping down to play with the hem of the shirt, brushing up against the back of her thighs. He is done for. He lets out a long groan, hoping that will give him the time to find something normal to say. Something normal and less weird than that she looks small, which she isn't, never is, but especially not when she's towering over him, pressing him against the kitchen counter, and that he's feeling all kinds of stupid, silly ways about the illusion. So, "your shirt", he says. And leaves Wille looking even more confused for a moment.

"My shirt?" she asks, her frown slowly melting into a smile and something that looks suspiciously like recognition. Simon simply nods, feeling caught and silly and still so stupidly, stupidly into her. Because there's nothing to lose and everything to gain, he slips his hands under the fabric, slowly, so she can stop him if she isn't interested. She doesn't, so he slides his fingers higher up, over the soft curve of her ass and the warm silky fabric of her panties, the lace-y hem. All the while, the heavy cotton pools on top of his wrists. Briefly, he wonders if he's got the upper body strength to haul her onto the counter so he can lift the shirt and suck on her nipples. He's afraid he doesn't. But Wille's expression has changed, shifted, no more confusion, just... mild amusement, and some understanding, Simon thinks. "Looks good," he says with a shrug that cannot possibly look casual, and notices that he's definitely sounding a little breathless. And Wille's proximity, the way she's unapologetically continuing to press her hips against his, is definitely not helping. Wille lets her eyes trail over his face, drops them down to his lips. She bites her own, suppressing a grin. "You think so?" Oh, and she is definitely pushing her hips against Simon's. He wonders if she can already feel that he's half-hard, pressed against her thigh, sweatpants and t-shirt between them. He swallows hard, daring to dip his fingers under the waistband of her panties. He runs them over the indents of the lace on her skin, a little bumpy and delicate and god, does he want to sink to his knees and traces them, all around her hips, with his tongue.

"Yeah," he answers. "Very." Which is still an understatement, but it's all he's got right now. Wille is losing the battle against her wide grin, releasing her bottom lip, sinking her fingers into Simon's hair. She leans in, down, bumping her nose against Simon's. If he doesn't get to kiss her right this fucking second, he's going to combust. But Wille is set on destroying him, ruining him, making him weaker than he already is. When Simon tries to lean forward, tries to finally kiss her, she pulls back, just far enough to make her point, all smiley, bright eyes and crooked teeth. Simon only pleadingly digs his fingertips into the squish of her ass. When she leans back in she goes right for Simon's neck, presses a burning kiss to the side of it, trails the tip of her nose along his skin, up, until she's right by his ear. He shivers involuntarily, get bolder, cups both of her ass cheeks in his hands and digs his fingers in. There's just a small hitch in her breath, but she's close enough for Simon to hear it. Close enough for his mind to run wild, wondering if he can get her to keep the shirt on while she's riding him, if he can pull her closer by all that fabric, lift it up in between to flick a thumb over her nipple, make her writhe and shiver and moan and- "Do you want to take it off of me, then?" She nuzzles into the side of his neck. "My panties, too?" Or that. Or anything. Fuck. Simon's knees are still weak when he stumbles after Wille, lets her drag him back to their bedroom.

Feel free to send me some prompts from that list, or just make some up <3 Or read my other ficlets here

also pls let me know what you think <3

[nausikaaa]

Seven Sentence Sunday

thanks for the tags @thewholelemon and @monbons!

i've been in a pretty big writing slump for the past couple of months, so i'm just reading a lot, trying to jumpstart my brain again, and occasionally i will get a flash of inspiration that allows me to write a few disparate paragraphs.

most recently i've gotten stuck in to Emily Hauser's Mythica, which is all about the archeology of women in the Bronze Age and how they tie into the Iliad and Odyssey. i'm really enjoying it, and it has been helping. i've written a few little snippets based on things that stood out to me, like the sheer amount of time and effort that went into weaving!

the chapter that really got to me was the one on Thetis, Achilles' mother. the chapter is all about ancient motherhood, and mostly how dangerous pregnancy, childbirth and infancy was. so yeah, a heads up for that below the cut.

it made me very upset but also very angry, because while some of it was unavoidable, such as a lack of medical knowledge and poor hygiene, some of it felt to me like it was such avoidable loss, done only because heirs were more valued than wives. the people of the past weren't stupid, they could observe cause and effect, and yet still so many mothers and babies died because women were given less food and far less protein than men (so their pelvises didn't grow wide enough, and they couldn't make enough milk to keep their babies well fed and protected from illness with antibodies), getting pregnant too young (again, the pelvises), and having too many back-to-back pregnancies (at a certain point they would just be too exhausted to survive the ordeal). why? because men wanted lots of babies fast, and didn't care if it devastated their wives to lose so many, or killed her just to bring about one son who lived.

of course, there were men who loved their wives, but it would appear from the historical record that far more simply didn't see them as equals, as fully human, and that massively coloured how they were treated.

sometimes i think about the women who must have come before me and the lives they led and i need to lie down, because it seems likely that for me to exist today, some of my ancestors likely led lives they rather wouldn't have, or died in order to bring about the next generation that ultimately led to me.

my novel involves a lot of pregnancy, birth and miscarriage. it's pretty much a given when writing about these characters, when the few sources we have clearly tell us that Andromache had somewhere between one and four more children after Troy fell and Hermione struggled with infertility. knowing the statistics of infant mortality at the time, it's a miracle all four of Andromache's children made it to adulthood, and it's likely some of Hermione's struggles were miscarriages or stillborns. and most of the men i write do care about their partners and children, because i don't want to be too much of a bummer.

so yeah. a character i only touch on briefly is Creusa, a princess of Troy, first wife of Aeneas, and a friend of Andromache, so here's a little bit about her from Andromache's point of view, using what i learned about bronze age infant burials.

When Creusa decided after her first stillbirth that she wanted to keep her lost child close, we did as many women did. She wrapped her baby in a painstakingly woven blanket, so it could know the softness she had intended for it, while I pried up the paving slabs in her small garden. We laid her child to rest there beside the flowers she grew, along with the toys Aeneas had carved in anticipation: small wooden horses, dolls and rattles.

Little did we know how many times we would have to repeat the grim ritual. After eight years, there was now a row of six uneven paving stones.

When Ascanius was born I held my breath, but with each passing day, instead of fading away, he grew stronger, and now he was thriving. I thought of the babies buried in the garden, their lives cut short for reasons we couldn't understand while the seventh child had been spared by the inscrutable will of the gods, the older siblings he would never know but whose graves he would walk over day after day.

Creusa did not survive the fall of Troy. as Aeneas escaped, he carried his elderly father and led his son by the hand, but Creusa got separated and died, though Virgil doesn't tell us her specific cause of death. Aeneas went back for her, but it was too late, instead he found her ghost, who asked him to care for their son. when Aeneas journeyed to the Underworld seven years later, he did not seek her out. Virgil doesn't say why. Andromache later reunited with Aeneas and Ascanius, giving the boy a cloak and asking him to remember her. the boy who lost his mother and the woman who lost her son. she must have looked at him and wondered about Astyanax, they were cousins after all. they were supposed to grow up together.

in my interpretation, her death at least has the bittersweet note that she would remain in the city, where her other children were buried, and find them in the Underworld.

...

jeez, what a ramble! i'll top this off with the news that my final goat, Lucy, had her kid on friday! a lovely little girl i've named Edith! i posted a bit more about it, including a video, here.

Lucy is a little under the weather now, but still being a very attentive mother.

and i tag @forabeatofadrum @cutestkilla @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @prettygoododds @bookish-bogwitch @youarenevertooold @that-disabled-princess @noblecorgi @orange-peony @larkral @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @artsyunderstudy @alexalexinii @hushed-chorus @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @martsonmars @meanjeansjeans @leithillustration @j-trow-95 @blackberrysummerblog @ic3que3n and @bookishbroadwayandblind

[kusakiguzen]

Bts x Reader (8th member)

A/N: Okay hear my tf out. I abolish one of my rules of not writing about human people, I hate being hypocrete hence i'm getting rid of this rule, in which i say i don't write about people (still a lil uncomfy but this fic has been on my mind and it is hindering my writing of other fics). Just sit back and enjoy this bullshit since i haven't read anything like this. One of the scenes were inspired by song like "My R" English version. And other songs too.

Warnings: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, copying,etc idk. I do not condone the behavior done by the reader in this fic. There are events that did happen in real life. If you feel like the doing the shit that the reader did, please contact help as its not healthy. This is mostly fiction and a fragment of my imagination.

You were a normal person, going through a tough time. Depression and stress taking its toll, You took up selfharm, scars littering all over your arms and stomach. Pressure from parents about their expectation getting heavier and heavier.

But then you heard them.... Their song for the first time. BTS or 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan. Their heavenly voice, their goofiness was your comfort in those dark times, you even stopped cutting your self because Namjoon (RM) said he'd shave the eyebrows of people who don't take care of themselves ( and if you don't study, Listen to him people), Laugh with them and be goofy while watching Run BTS, Eat with Jin while watching EatJin. They saved you, helped you, behind the screen, even without meeting them in person. They were you saviors. You even learnt Korean, so you can understand and learn their songs, all 230 of them.

You hated when people judged them for smallest of things, unnessecary hate they got, stupid rumors.... Everything like that. You wished you could protect them like they did to you. But you couldn't.... Its fine All of you and Army together can. So it was fine. They were your escape, Escape form reality and this world.

But you can't escape reality forever. It always catches up, it haunts you. And soon even they couldn't save you from you attempting to take your life. But I guess they did save you by going live when you planed to end yourself. But good things never last. On a particular day, it was too exhausting, you felt numb, lifeless, like a shell with no purpose. While on the end of the side walk, waiting for the light to turn red ( for the cars?) You were picking a song to listen to, you started walking, didn't see the truck coming.

You saw two headlights coming closer by the seconds, your fingers clicked on a song, just before the impact, You heard the lyrics of "I NEED U" and the only thought in your mind was

"Ah shit, I'm gonna die without even going to their concert..... haaaahhh"

And you saw black, and were welcomed by nothingness.

You were in there for what felt like hours, before being welcomed with bright light and the smell of sanitizer and disinfectents. Hissing, you opened your eyes and saw the white ceiling of the hospital, and two people on each sides who noticed your conciousness.

They were calling your name, asking if you were okay, the only problem was

They were speaking Korean

Words came out of your mouth instinctively. Matching the language of the two strangers,

"Who are you?"

Yo were terrified, did you get kidnaped while being unconscious? or is you brain playing tricks since the last thing you heard was Korean?

You saw doctors panic and checking every thing, But before you could say anything your head started spining and you lost consciousness again, The last thing you hear was the sound of doctors and the two strangers telling you to stay with them.

Welcomed by darkness again, but soon something started playing in front of you like a movie. You realised that it was a child's life story. A child who was lonely, isolated and extremely shy. You say the child be bullied, picked on, the two people who were with you in the hospital room dismissing the child. It stopped after you saw her get hit by a truck.

Then it stopped. And you saw the girl crying in what looked like a puddle. You went up to her and you guys talked, laughed and all in all had a fun time.

Then she said something and you again woke up in the hospital.

Please take care of my body and live like you want to in this life, for the both of us...... Don't try to avenge me, Okay Unnie*?

You woke up in the same hospital bed surrounded by the same people. But that girls words just kept spining in your head. What did she mean?

You sat up and saw your hands and dread washed over you, These were hands of a child, specifically the little girl you met the darkness.

You shouted asking for a mirror which the women beside you gve it to you....... No Fucking way, you became a child? The same child you met? Then it clicked, the words of the girl. OH MY GOD! you thought reincarnation only happed in Manhwas or Anime. So Wtf is this? did you get reincarnated in a Manhwa? Anime?

You were utterly shocked, absolutely baffeled. But composed yourself immediately, and asked for the date. It was February 15th 2007. Then you asked your age and were told you were 14, go to Gwaneum Middle School. Why did that name sound so familiar to you?

You were soon discharged and taken back home in Daegu Town, Again it sounded so familiar to you but you brushed it off as it being the body's memory.

After a month your school started and you met him.......... Min Yoongi..

WTF? Huhh? how? wat?? Okay you are probably dreaming, yup this dream.

You walked up to him and introduced yourself to him, but he just looked at you nodded and left, leaving you behind before you could say anything.

'Okay that was awkward' you thought

After that day, you started to befriend him, atleast try to, but he was extremly shy and isolated. But you still stayed, sometimes buying him food to show your sencierity and help him out knowing he didn't have much .

You also wrote all the BTS songs in a diary with a lock. wrote some other songs that were your favorite in another diary, since now you know why you were here. To help and protect them like you wanted and promised. That's right you were going to work a million times harder. Yes For them.

You weren't making progress in breaking down the walls around Yoongi's had built around his heart all of these years, but you weren't going to give up. So you kept trying, and trying. Doing things like joining him for lunch, buying him food and telling him you brought too much and he can have the extra, taking the bus with him and paying for him. Helping him without hurting him.

You finally broke down the walls he created after one incident. Yoongi being shy and unconfrontational stayed out of trouble, So if he'd get bullied he would take it.

One day Yoongi was late for lunch so you went to look for him, found him in the back of school wet with milk, and the carton lying near him, being bullied. He was clutching another one refusing to let go of it. The boy was hitting and slapping Yoongi's head and laughing at him while other boys record.

You saw red, Fucking bitch try to touch your Yoongi? Your SUGA? The kind hearted boy? You started voice recording and approaching them. With a sickly sweet voice you told them to leave Yoongi alone and asked him to come behind you. The boys whose name you didn't even try to get to know started insulting you and calling you names. Going as far as grabbing your shirt and ripping off some buttons. You screamed on purpose and started to "cry" and then the boys stopped recording, Bingo. You sneakily stopped recording yourself and then got up and said

"You Got 5 seconds to apologize."

5....

4...

they started laughing and mocking you

3..

Yoongi telling you to get away from there

2......

the boys again try to touch your chest but....

1.....

Lets just say they will never think of even looking in your direction after that.

You were called to the principal's office for that, and Yoongi wanted to accompany you to testify but you told him its fine and left alone. He never felt so powerless in his whole life. If you didn't know how to fight, who knows what would have happened.

You stood in front of the principal's office and pretended to cry. You guess all the extra curriculars your paents made you take did come in handy. You entered with puffy bloodshot eyes, red nose and cheek. Right of the bat the parents of the boys started accusing you and calling you a bitch and other derogatory names. You calmly told them that what you did was self defence. Again it went right over the parents head and now they were calling you a liar. Okay they refuse to settle this normally, you pulled out the recording from you phone, and placed it in front of them, playing it. They obviously were taken aback but composed themselves, It was the the principal's turn. He started to berate you, and took the recording and broke it.

Okay, so they chose the hard way, hhhaaaaaahhh you hoped they wouldn't be like this but it has to be done.

You fake pouted, looking at them. Looking back at the broken record and just started laughing.... Hard like a mad man. Then said...

"I guess it was real, what they show in all the k-drama. So I have to take revenge like how they do in them... Pity i was hoping to settle this peacefully."

Then you played something else.... The video of them bullying Yoongi.

How do you think your company will fare when they find out about this and the things you said right now? Hmm?

Taking out the recorder that you had kept ON for proof.

You smiled as you saw all their face turn pale. They started begging you, apologizing, While on their knees. Ahhhhh this feels good. You got up and tried to leave, when they asked if you'd forgive them. You looked back and smiled saying...

"Apologize to Yoongi like that and maybe I'll consider it, ne~~"

They did, They apologized to him on their knees making Him extreemly surprised. This is when Yoongi and you became close. After school that day, he grabbed your sleeve gently while you guys were walking to the bus station, you turned around and he was holding the same banana milk carton. He looked at you and then offered you the milk, catching you by surprise. He then said how you mentioned you liked banana milk but kept forgetting to buy it, so he bought one for you. You gently took it from his hand and started drinking it, you said it was the best thing you had tasted/drunk in a while, while a blush coated your face.

Your relationship changed and you both became inseparable, he became more expressive and talkative with you too. This lasted till Yoongi got a girlfriend. She was a sweet girl from your class whom you both befriended, when they announced that they were dating, everything changed. You often found yourself alone while they went on awkward dates, and the girl did tell you to keep a boundary now that he was in a relationship. You understood where she was coming from but you wanted to maintain the friendship.

This caused an argument, and you backed off. You distanced yourself from them to the point you stopped talking to either of them. And during that time you were selected for a compitation to represent Daegu Town. You went to Seoul to compete in it, and thats where you met another member, Kim Namjoon aka Rap Monster, representing Ilsan. The compatition was tough and you lost by 1 point. You and Namjoon did become friends after that and kept in contact. Till the few months Yoongi was dating, you got close to Namjoon. But after a few months Yoongi's girlfriend broke up. And boom a heartbroken and rain soaked Yoongi was standing in front if your door looking absolutely heartbroken.

Without hesitation you let him in, shoved him in the shower while cleaning up the water all over the place, reheating some food for him, You had made rice and Kimchi-guk (kimchi soup) since it was raining. Yoongi came out soon as you plated the food, a towel on his neck, still with the blank face which he made when he tried to hide his emotions. You sat him own on the floor, giving him the food and taking the towel to dry his hair. He was eating quitely but then suddenly spoke up...

"She broke up with me....."

"Huh?"

"My girlfriend.... she broke up with me...."

You knew this would happen but it still hurt to see him like this, you had realised that he didn't want you to press further or feel guilty for his sake. So you just hummed and then got up to get another towel because the one you were using got too wet and wasn't absorbing the water. Just as you were about to get up, his hand grabbed yous and a soft whisper of "stay" came out of his mouth. You wanted to tell him you'll be back but as soon as you turned around you saw Yoongi barely able to hold back his tears.

The towel was long forgotten and you immediately wrapped your hands around him bringing him into a hug, sat in silence while his tears soaked your shirt and you alternating between rubbing his back and playing with his hair. After he calmed down, you showed him to you spare room and made him sleep there since he is not n the right mind to drive or even walk.

After you made sure Yoongi was asleep, you slowly crept out of the room and went into you room. Because today, you and Namjoon were going to talk on the phone. You apologised for being late and explained that your friend had an emergency, he was understanding and you guys talked for hours about music and switching to studied whenever his parents or sister entered the room. You guys had planed to meet in 2 days but you had to postpone because of Yoongi. He said he didn't mind and you scedueled it for the next weekend.

The friendship between you and Yoongi grew even more, which you didn't even know was possible. He never put you second, and tried to redeem himself for the time he lost. On the other hand you visited Namjoon every other weekend and your bond grew stronger with him as well.

Few years passed and nothing really changed much, You life remained the same. Until for your high school trip you all were going to Gwangju Metropolitan City, where you bumped into Jung Hoseok. The world is a really small place. You both apologized and went your own ways, but fate had different plans for you. You separated from you group and strayed away to an unfamiliar area, and your phone was dead, suddenly 2 creeps started questioning you and trying to get you to come with them. That's when you saw Hoseok, and feeling scared you just loudly screamed "There you are!!! I was waiting for you" jogging up to him, he was sharp enough to understand the situation. He grabbed your hand and "reprameneded" you about staying from the group. He started leading you away as your hands trembled, as soon as they were out of sight, you knees gave out, if not for him you would have fallen hard. He was extremly worried. After few minutes you regained your composure and stood up with his help, You both walked to the nearest park where he sat you down, ram to a vending machine and got you a drink.

He gave you his phone so you could call for help but you were still a little shaken up. Absentmindedly you dialed Yoongi's number and gave it to Hoseok so he could talk since she was shaken up.

On the other hand You felt pathetic, at 14 you defended Yoongi from some rich and entitled people and now your trembling because of some random stranger? The reason was because this is an unfamiliar teritory, you don't know anything about this place. You really didn't want think about what could have happened if Hoseok didn't show up.

After Hoseok was done talking to Yoongi about the situation, turned his attention towards you, Yoongi had told him that he called your teacher and asked if Hoseok could keep you company while the teacher arrived, He already planed to do that so he agreed. You teacher came, obviously very worried and took you back not before thanking Hoseok. You handed him a note that had your number telling him how it would be nice to become friends with him.

During that week of your stay there, you met up with Him almost every day. You and him became pretty close and even after you left, you both kept in contact.

A year later, Yoongi told you about how he was going to audition to become a producer, which you encouraged and also told him how you'd accompany him. So in 2010, at the ripe age of 17, he joined the Big Hit Entertainment. You also got accepted, which left you confused but you weren't complaining. You were introduced to Namjoon by Yoongi, expecting you to not know him, but was very surprised to see you give him a hug and tell him how you missed him. You also met Hoseok again, and told Yoongi about him and how you met in the high school trip, and how they both talked. This eased the tension between the members, having a common topic to talk about, YOU.

A year later, you met the younger members during their training, an extremly shy Jeon Jeong-guk, The cute Kim Taehyung. But due to the age difference you couldn't get close to them, which made you sad, but it was understandable. You also met WWH, Kim Seokjin, you didn't get along immediately but still got along fine.

Another year later you met Park Jimin. He got along with Taehyung, as expected. And soon enough another year passed and BTS was formed, with an addition, YOU, L/N Y/N. Which the Hyung line (except Jin) was happy about since they already knew you, you were their back bone, Helping in every way possible, from cooking for them to helping them practice, no matter how tired you were. You always made sure they ate and healthy.

Their first song, "No More Dream" was released. Not getting much attention, which you expected but the others were much more disappointed. But you were there this time, helping them through it all.

And you made a solo album but the twist you copied songs like Labour by Paris Paloma, Alone by Nico Collins, Favorite by Issabel Larosa, and many more. You made sure they will still get the attention in the future.

For years, they worked hard but to nothing satisfying enough to make too much profit. It caused rifts between the member and the mental and physical exhaustion taking a toll on them. You yourself were barely holding it together, with the constant arguments, them neglecting their health. You were practically holding all of them together. But you were only human, during one argument between the members, you snapped, so fucking hard that it scared all of them. Tears rolling down your face, while you voice getting Hoarse from the shouting, after you were done, you felt nothing. And words came out with nothing but a whisper...

"I can't do this anymore...."

And with that you left the apartment, with nothing. When the members recovered from the shock, you were long gone. Yoongi being your childhood friend, ran out the door trying to search for you. It was late at night hence not safe for you to be outside, especially alone. He was soon followed by the others, Shouting your name, running around the neighbourhood, Tears clouding the younger member's eyes, fearing your safety, and about your words before you left. Your words playing in everyone's mind, haunting them.

After an hour of searching with nobody being able to find you, they returned home, hoping, begging for you to come back.

On the other hand, you felt like shit, the last thing they needed was you snapping and walking out on them. You took a walk for a while (like 2-3 Hours) without realizing the time, collecting your thoughts.

Back with the BTS members, they were coming to realization, you cooked for them 3 meals every day. You were up before them and slept after making sure all of them ate and were comfortable. You made sure they get a healthy and nutritious meal 3 times a day, atleast 5-6 hours of sleep, and also made sure to clean the apartment. Fuck, for years you did so much. You held them together. But who held you together? You had their backs but who had yours? You let them unwind in your arms but where did you take out your emotions? You helped them but who helped you? Not them... not anyone... Because you never showed it, Never once... They were too busy dealing with their own emotions to notice yours....

Man they felt like shit. No wonder you left. Who could blame you? They would leave too if they were you, long before this, you held on for soo long.... You were so strong, so amazing. God they couldn't describe what they were feeling in that moment. And their tears started to fall, without them realizing it.

You obviously came back to apologize for your out burst, but met with tear filled eyes of your other members. They were apologizing, with broken voice and sobs. You were surprised and also started to apologize, hugging them, and they compalined how you were still worried about them, to which you laughed and told them its second nature to you at this point.

After that day, they started to help out more around they house, with another rule, you will sleep with one of the members (not like that you unholy little shits), cuddle so they could make sure you get enough sleep too. They soon realized how different you acted when you were calmer. Your bond grew as a team and also this also stopped them from disbanding. They also became very over protective of you. Any signs of discomfort and they were beside you. Which you were grateful for.

But nothing goes as fucking planed, like fate loves to fuck with you, Since you all shared a place means no privacy, just your luck. You had brought your diary with you, the same diary you wrote all their songs in. It was locked obviously but one unfortunate day, it was found, by none other than your Leader. You didn't have to worry about it before since you always cleaned, but things changed and the others started to help out around the house. And everyone got curious when Namjoon brought it out, there were 2 of them, one obviously filled with what looked some pages added. There was one more thing, an old carton of banana milk, Yoongi recognized it immediately and got extremely flustered. Yoongi was unfortunately able to figure out the code, how? It was his birthday 090393, As soon as he started to read it, he felt sick, and vas about to vomit, dread washing over him, it was so sick. What do you mean when you wrote that you had died and woken up in someone else's body? What the actual fuck was this. Yoongi dropped the diary and ran towards the bathroom and vomited all the contents of the lunch. One by one all of them read it, not the whole way just the few pages. But all of them realized something and they needed answers. So they waited for you to come home.

You came home ready to tell everyone to freshen up while you cooked. But the moment you entered, you saw all seven of them sitting on the couch and their lied your diary. You dropped everything you were carrying as their gaze turned towards you, trembling with a face that show how horrified you were, instinctively your hand came to cover your mouth, griping it tightly. They were just looking at you until Jungkook spoke up.

"Noona... please tell me the things in this diary is a joke" looking at you, pleading for you to agree with him, hands trembling. Jin was next to speak up

"Y/N..... answer him... Is it true?" His voice betrayed the face he was making.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE ANSWER HIM!!" Yoongi shouted at you making you and the others flinch since Yoongi never raises his voice. That moment, all eyes were on you, waiting for an answer.

Your voice was soft, they wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't so silent.

"Yes.... Everything in it is true.... I did die and woke up in this body... I- I wanted to tell you guys but...." Your voice was trembling, you were terrified of the changes that will come in your relationship. Shocked and horrified, they just left you there in the living room, to comprehend what you just said. It hit Yoongi the hardest since he knew you for the longest.

Everything changed after that day, they started to avoid you like a plague. No matter how hard you tried, hell they wouldn't even eat the food you made.

You were getting more and more numb as the days passed, this was torture for you. You had made your life's purpose to help them, stay with them... Live for them, but they don't want you there, No reason to live... Right? You reached you breaking point when they excluded you from the song you all were working on. That day you returned home, lay on the bed till it was almost time, thinking about what could have been while waiting for the others to return. Just before the time of their return, you grabbed your phone and left the house. Tonight you were going to end your suffering along with the burden you've been carrying with you.

You didn't know they returned early. Jimin saw you leaving, and his gut had this feeling he couldn't describe it, it could be called dread but it was much worse. So he inform the other members and they understood, and then all of them started to follow you, secrately.

You were out of it while walking to a certain building. You've been watching it, observing the time people left it and when you could access it, without disturbance. You reached the building, it had about 12 story high, so death won't be instant but you could take a few minutes of pain. You took the stairs, slowly making your way up. When you reached the top, you started to walk closer to the edge, there was space on the other side of the railing. You too off your shoes, let your hair down ( if you have short hair ignore this line) and went on the other side and just sat down. Hair flowing with the cool breeze giving you moments of comfort before it was all about to end. You got up, closed your eyes while turning to the roof top, holding the bar, and leaning over the edge and then you let go. Suddenly you felt a hand hold yours, leaving you dangling over the building. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook holding your hand with all his strength while also holding the railing with the other.

He was grabbed by Namjoon, so he let go of the railing and held you using both of his arms. Hoseok also joined him to help while Jin held him. You smiled at them softly and then whispered

"I'm Sorry." And then used your feet to push yourself out of his grip, but Hoseok caught you and Jungkook didn't let go.

When they were finally able convince you and coax you , to pull yourself back up on the roof with their help, you did. And then were met by a slap by Jimin and then hugged by him, speaking incohearent words between his loud and heartbreaking sobs, soon others were also hugging you trembling but Jungkook and Hoseok stood a little far looking at their hands. After the others let go of you, you made your way to the two members standing looking at their hands. How could you be so stupid? Traumatizing a literal child because of your selfishness. Softly you called their name and they snapped out of whatever they were thinking and look at you, back at their hands. Tears now steaming down their face as they tackled you in a hug crying loudly.

After everyone clamed down, They asked you about your past life and you told them, leaving the part out where they were famous because you were scared something might happen to them if you did tell them. They were very curious, and you found that adorable. While you were reminiscing, you casually mentioned about your suicide attempts in your past life, and how they saved you then as well, Traumatizing them further.

The other members then told you that they were avoiding you because they wanted to process things and also ask about the whole back story, Yoongi apologized for yelling, telling you he wasn't angry, Just scared for you and what you went through alone. You understood their reaction, and told them it was fine. This raised even more concerns because you are acting like you didn't just try to kill yourself just a few seconds ago. This was voiced by Yoongi and you told him that you were used to dealing with mental burdens alone. Which RM interrupted and told you you aren't alone like you were in the past life. You have them, everyone nodded at that statement and you chuckled due to how cliche it sounded and how comical they looked nodding like that. That night on that roof, all the secrates you kept to yourself, all out in the open. You felt vulnerable but it wasn't necessary a bad thing.

You were happy that it was now no longer a secrete because, you can express yourself more and not act like everything was okay every time.

Its Okay Not To Be Okay. ( see what i did there?)

After that incident, they never left alone, atleast one member will accompany you, everywhere. You want to cook, let Jin join. You want to paint? Jungkook is ready with supplies. You want to produce music? Suga is waiting for ya. You wanna perfect your choreography? J-Hope and Jimin are waiting in the dance studio. You wanna nap? You can ask anyone. You want to practice your vocal? V is ready to help.

You also released a SOLO called "HEAL" which had 2 songs ' My R' and 'Miss wanna die'. which represented the sucide attempt but also a senario where "what if Jungkook wasn't able to reach you." It stared every members and their grives when it happend, it was raw with feelings. The music video replaying the events of the day with some extra touches. Like a devestating screem of Yoongi as you fell from the roof. and some more emotional stuff. It was there to serve as a reminder to you and the group of what you went through together. You also got a tattoe, a mix of a semicolan and a butterfly sybolising new begining.

Every day was the same until.... You got a call. Caller ID displaying the name "Eomma" (mom). You picked up and greeted her, she returned the greeting and then started to ask about your how your music and stuff was doing, you told her it was going great. To which she replied how happy she is and then told you how your whole family was in Seoul and they wanted to meet. You were suspicious because the last time you saw her or even spoke to her was in the hospital, when you woke up in this body. You reluctantly agreed, She was happy to hear that and told you to wear a pretty dress and look decent and the coming Sunday meet them at the Wangbijib Sicheong Mugyo. You told the other members, Yoongi told you in private that he also has the same suspicions as you and asked if he could accompany you along with Jin. You agreed since it would be more comfortable with them around.

Since it was a fancy restaurant, you made the to males wear tux, and you wore a a Gown (something like this or you can imagine whatever you want). Soon you all reached there and met with the sight of 4 unfamiliar faces along with your family. You made your way to them slowly and after reaching politely greeted them with a low bow. Your mother introduced the women as Ji-eun, the man as Dong-hyun, the boy as Hyun-woo and the girl as Jin-a. You introduced yourself while taking seat and also introduced you band members Min Yoongi and Kim Seokjin.

Your mother asked why you were being accompanied by them to which you replied policy. They understood and stated ordering, while holding a pleasent conversation. The food arrived and everyone started eating. You knew something was up because Hyun-woo kept stealing glances, and Ji-eun was gushing how well mannered you were and how beautiful you looked. Then they came to the point which made you deadpan. Marriage.....

You Parents decided to arrange your marriage with one of their bussiness partner's son. The moment this was brought up Jin choked on his drink while Yoongi's mouth fell open. You calmly wiped your mouth with the napkin provided, and interrupted the two women who were gushing about how you both should get engaged as soon as possible, by saying something that horrified both of them...

"Sorry to burst your bubble but i have no interest in marriage."

I mean why would you wanna marry someone when you have dedicated your whole life to BTS? You planed to stay by their side and marriage or even a relationship will hinder with your plans. So its a big No.

You mother tried to brush it off as you being funny but you interrupted again telling them you were serious. Your mother became furious and started to go on rant about how you need to have a good husband and children before its too late and you should stop wasting time. Your brother who was silent the whole time spoke up saying he respected your choice, infuriating your mother even more.

Jin and Yoongi stayed silent not knowing what to do. Ji-eun started telling you about her son and how successful and hansome he is. You pointed at Jin calling him the most handsome man you've met also using his infamous nickname WWH. This infuriated her and the dinner ended right then and their. Your brother drove you and the guys, telling you that he will always be there for you and not to worry about mother, and he will handle everything. He told you to live your life, which not gonna lie made you a bit emotional.

After your brother dropped you off, you gave him a hug and told him to keep in contact. The two elder members had told the others while you were busy with your brother effectively causing chaos.

Your brother kept his promise and shifted all of you in a bigger home for privacy and comfort, but mainly he didn't like the idea of you sharing a room with hormonal men who can take advantage of your kindness, his words not yours. Life went back to how it was.

Years passed and BTS then blew up, and hate for you started to pour in, about how you were ruining the group. It didn't bother you though, it was natural. But you couldn't say the same for the others. They made a firm statement on every platform, saying any hate towards you is a hate towards all of them, as they were a team.

But one incident where an interviewer had targeted you, bringing up all the hate and rumors to try to fluster you, but even before you could respond, the members got up and started walking away, you were picked up by RM and all of them just walked off. Since it was live the moment they stepped out, all the members reposted the statement and also stated that they will no longer be going to interviews like these.

Everyone soon found your solo album and boom all the haters who questioned your singing and dancing shut up. You don't show off in the band music because you wanted them to shine, but you don't have that restriction when you do solos.

Your other SOLO "HEAL" was also discoverd and people started to hate on you again for writing a song so sensitive without experiencing what those feelings were. You and all the members went live after having enough of the contovercies and reveled your sucidal past. This made people feel very guilty but you understood. You alsi made a statement saying misunderstanding happen and its fine. You were loved more after that.

You also made another solo, This time it had Alan Walkers future songs, You made sure to include him since he did produce so the only thing you did was sing his songs. SUGA was also there to help produce since you aren't allowed to be alone. He wouldn't admit it but he was a little jealous that you went to another producer and not him

That album blew up even more and you got your own fan club like the rest of them. And you were happy. But you didn't consider something..... Their developing feelings for you....

Namjoon was the first to fall for you. For him, it was love at first sight. The day of the competition in Seoul, he saw you and his heart beat increased. The way you'd carry yourself with such elegance and confidence, and during the competition, your voice was smooth but carried authority. Plus he never met someone who could match him like such . He was so sure you would win but you didn't, you lost by a single point. He wanted to congratulate you, who knows maybe get you number..... He over heard you telling someone that since you found him cute and let him win.. He left but then you came up to him and congratulated him and also gave him your number. Overtime, the more you chatted, the more his feeling developed,.......

Yoongi, even after being self aware, did not realise his feeling towards you. After getting a girlfriend, he subconsiously started comparing her to you, never saying it out loud. But all the little thigs you did to spoil him, or when you always hold his his hand while crossing the road or when you both are in crowded places. And after you started to avoid him, he would do the little things only to realize you weren't there. His girlfriend noticed, and decided to end the relationship. Yoongi was a gentleman, but it was you you who made him a better version of himself. She realized and ended it, Of course as expected, Yoongi didn't know, or understand why, She actually felt bad but it had to be done. She did offer they stay friends, He accepted and left, And for some reason it felt right to her. She figured Yoongi went to you. The next time they met alone, it was awkward but she finally told him,

"It was Y/N-nie that you have feelings for, not me. The feeling you felt towards me were just a reflection of what you felt towards her. I can guarenty it since i just know that you went to her after our break up, not that it bothered me since its a habit of yours.... You always go to her in the time of need and you always look relaxed with her... It isn't platonic Yoongi-sunbae.... You love her, more than you realize it. Please think about it."

She then left after giving a shallow bow. Reaching home he laid in his bed wide awake, even when his mind and body were begging him to sleep, her words fresh in his mind 'it isn't platonic...... you love her, more than you realize' . Does he? I mean he finds you absolutely breath taking, he also love all the small quirky habits you had. And god that smile, That smile which lights up his world....... Fuck he really does love you doesn't he.... And after realising it, it just started to grow him. Maybe he might act on them, maybe in the future.

Kim Seok-Jin's feelings were developed the most normal way. It became from friends to crush. He was delighted to find out that you would be a trainee with him, and he also helped you better your pronounciation skills, and you helped him with dancing. And he slowly started to fall for you. He was going to act on it but stopped when you mentioned you aren't looking for a relationship and want to focus on being a better idol. It made him sad but he understood. It also made him fall for you more, you passion and determination.

Jung Hoseok's feelings were complicated due to trust issues and past relationship, where his girlfriend cheated on him. So he prefered platonic since you were also popular with the guys, and you were also best friends with a guy, Min Yoongi, a fellow trainee. He didn't want to make things complicated, even though he belived you both will never be in the same group. He remembers you from when he saved you, and how you dialed Yoongi's number instead of your parents, and you two were practically inseprable even during the training. He had mixed feelings about this since you never talked you the other female trainees (you did but just never showed it). But he couldnt resist your charms, your passion, your hard work..... And your caring nature. He fell, Hard. He knew there will possibly be a love triangle but he didn't mind.. Its not like his rivals will be in the same group right? (lol)

The Maknae line fell for you simultaniously. Taehyung fist, then Jimin and lastly Jeong-guk. Taehyung was a normal teenager who went for looks and you were his type, but he started to truly fall for you when you all became a Band. He remembers you taking care of him, making sure he was alright, but one perticular incident stuck out to him which solidified his feelings for you. When you stood up to the manager about his cloths, Taehyung has cholinergic urticaria, meaning sweat and high body temperature cause hives all over his body, His manger was forcing him to wear tight cloths but you drilled the manager ( since you have a rich brother who was also an investor) and made sure he was comfortable. You also carried a a small electrical fan for him. These small gestures were arrow to his heart, like cupid struck him. As these gestures continued, his feelings also grew.

Park Jimin saw a side of you that only Yoongi had seen until then, It being your clumsy side. You were always careful during your trainee years, and even after the group was formed, but he'd always see you stumble and catch yourself, sometimes even chanting 'don't fall' like a mantra while carrying and walking. He found it absolutely adorable, he noticed your silly quirks and loved them. He also loved how caring you were and also extreemly passionate about your practice. Every time any of the manager would give them a hard time, you would be there to defend them. He loved it, He developed feelings soon after, when one of the manager was giving him an earful for something which was never his fault and he couldn't control, the manger who you later called was on 'power high'. You had shut the manger down so hard that the dude quit. He considered you his and everyone's 'Guardian Angel'

Jeon Jeong-guk, a.k.a Jungkook, joined the Big Hit when he was no older than 13. When he joined, he expected to do everything by himself, and probably not have a childhood. But he was roomed with you due to the lack of space, he was reluctent to share a space with a women much less a pretty one. But all the hesitance vanished the moment he met you. You were so warm and caring, even letting him skip out on chores sometime, but being warm didn't mean you weren't strict. You had always made sure he completed his school work, and kept a balance between spoiling him and disciplining him. You were also very cool in his eyes because of how you defended him and the other younger trainees. He didn't feel any romantic interest till the prank that BTS pulled on his 16th birthday, ( this one, if you haven't seen it). The moment cake came out, you immediately hugged the boy, and he started crying, after a while you were calming down Jungkook with hugs and kisses. Jungkook had then told them that, he was scared that his hyungs and producer were scolding him but the moment you said that you were disapointed in him, he couldn't keep it together and was scared you'd stop spoiling him. He also realised how jealous he got when you'd spoil other members the same way, and then went to Namjoon for advice. To which he found out he was in love.

You trying to kill yourself was a wakeup call for them and they had a meeting on your day off, without you. Every member confessed their feelings for you to each other, and realised it was either they had to fight for your affection or they could share it. They came to the decsion of sharing and protecting you. Since they all loved you, and you care so much for them, You must love the too right?

When they became famous, they kept seeing edits about you and another members, romantic ones. They even started to ship you with the Boys. They had requested their then manager to ask your opinion on it. To which you told him,

"I find them hilarious, I mean have you seen the boys? They are wayyy out of my league. If it were true then damn I'd win the loterry, But it won't happen, cuz I'm like a rock between Diamonds" while laughing.

What...... You think you don't deserve them? How could you? Can't you see how amazing you were? Truth be told they are the ones who don't deserve you....

I guess they have to just show you How important you are to them, Now don't they?

Why don't they recreate some of the fanfics you have been reading hmm....?

You'd like it right....?

A/N: OMFG FINALLYY, My blood, sweat and tears like by god it took too long. At this point i had another idea which i will write and almost dropped this one but i didn't want to keep others who actually look forward to my writing, waiting. Its been more than a month, Which I'm sorry about. I hope you enjoy!!! And wait for part two (it will take a while since i have another fic in mind right now) For right now i kept an open ending but in part two I'll write more about the romantic development in their relationships. Feel free to leave me ideas in the comments and how you thought Y/N ended up with the members?

Masterlist

Stay Safe, Healthy And Hydrated

[transgenderfabianseacaster]

I really like your disabled Bad Kids headcanons! Are there any you have been thinking particularly hard about recently and wish to share?

YAY YIPPEE!!!! i loooove infodumping about my hcs :)))))

i have been thinking a lot about riz and fabian recently ! basically how their disabilities happened, and how they think about them

riz is autistic and adhd and was diagnosed when he was little, and he struggled a Lot with that (he is the energetic audhd kid who doesnt notice social cues At All and is very confused why people dont like him bc hes so friendly all the time) but he wasnt physically disabled till sophomore year. basically it started when he had the kalina curse expelled from his body; he thinks that since he had been born with it and it was very much entwined with his body, removing it did a lot of unanticipated harm. basically he has fantasy multiple sclerosis. its progressive and starts getting difficult to deal with over the night yorb quest; he has trouble walking and moving his legs and hands, as well as muscle spasms and incontinence. he starts using forearm crutches over that summer and a wheelchair by the moonar yulenear, and he wears afo braces

he also has bad brain fog, which is very much me projecting on him lmao. i'm mostly fine with being disabled but its the brain fog that frustrates me the most bc i was never really athletic but i was known as the Smart Kid for most of my childhood. and riz is still very smart ofc but brain fog complicates things a little bit. like me, he's come to terms with being physically disabled but not so much with brain fog... he also Hates asking for help. hes like yeah Other people can ask for help and need accommodations but not me that would be giving up. his friends are helping him with that but its a Process lol

fabian has a similar thing going on where hes frustrated by his disabilities a lot. he was born w fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (as was his sister my oc felicity/lissie who does eventually get to kill hallariel for funsies) and part of that is being more susceptible to ear infections and he ended up hoh from that when he was little, like 4ish. his parents Such Ass so never really helped him with that? like they got him hearing aids and then just sorta ignored it. cathilda taught him some halfling sign language :)) fabian is still more fluent in that than in common sign

and then at the end of freshman year he got Knife To The Eye (by the dreadnoughts) and promptly ignored it for several days. cathilda was off settling bill's will and such and god knows hallariel didnt pay attention to her son :// and yeah his eye ended up getting infected Badstyle. he got orbital cellulitis wwhich ended up spreading to his optic nerve and other parts of his brain, and by the time cathilda returned yeah damage had been done. he was very much passed out by that point lol. but yea he ended up w peripheral vision loss and slight color blindness, as well as epilepsy (which was because he already had some weirdness in his brain from fasd). as of jy he uses a guide cane most of the time. both his cane and his hearing aids are coated in gold lmao

he feels... embarrassed? about his epilepsy bc he tends to have seizures at inopportune times, eg in the middle of a bloodrush game (which happens in my 5+1 wip). he tends to feel guilty that things have to come to a halt for him to recover

fabian also has bpd 🙂‍↕️

basically both fabian and riz are like Other peoples disabilities limit them and thats Fine but when mine does its My Fault and Makes Me A Burden. which ofc is stupid of them but hey neither of them are that good at introspection <333

ok this ended up a Lot longer than i was planning hfjkdhfsdk

[astermath]

The touch starved prompts are making me be in my feels :') If you're still open to requests for them, can I have either "how long has it been since someone hugged or?" or "you don't need to earn my affection, not now and not ever." with Steve? Those two really hit hard for me... :')

omg i almost completely overlooked this ask i'm so sorry! the first one i answered not too long ago with this oneshot, but i'll happily write the second one!

send in some touch starved prompts! ♡

word count: 1K

You’ve been sick for two days already, and frankly, you’ve had enough.

It’s not that you feel bad for missing out on work. Seriously, you could have used a break from 10 hour shifts a long time ago already. And you don’t really have any other commitments you regret not being able to attend either.

No, Steve is taking care of you.

And it’s very conflicting.

On one hand, you love it. He’s your boyfriend, of course he takes care of you. He makes you soup, makes sure you have a blanket and a nice hot water bottle at your disposal, does everything around the house. It’s like heaven. Well, almost like heaven.

Because you can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt about it all.

It’s stupid, you know it’s stupid. You would do the exact same thing for him if he was sick.

But there’s this awful feeling gnawing away at you, making you feel like he’s slaving away for you and that you’re ungrateful, that you don’t deserve it. That he doesn’t even like taking care of you, he just pities you.

That’s why when he comes to sit down next to you on the couch, reaching out for a cuddle, you pull away.

You don’t dare to look his way. You know the expression on his face already, a mixture of confusion and hurt. Mostly confusion. You’re sick, maybe you just don’t want to make him sick as well?

“Come on, we can cuddle, right? I’ve got a strong immune system, I won’t get sick from giving my girl some attention now.” He chuckles, but you don’t give in. It’s starting to concern him now. His sweet girl, not wanting to be enveloped in his arms? Maybe your sickness has gotten to your brain, or he’s done something seriously wrong.

“Hey,” He ducks his head under a little so he can get a look at your face, but you turn away. “What’s up baby? Did I do something?”

That makes you look at him, because you can’t have him thinking your insecurities have anything to do with his actions. He’s perfect, literally the dream boyfriend. And yet you feel like he’s being too good for you right now.

Your eyes are watery, and that you cannot blame on the illness. Steve’s expression softens, and he suddenly feels a lot worse for joking around just now.

“It’s just— you’re being so nice to me, and I… I don’t know…”

“Peach… If I’m doing something wrong, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

“No, it’s— you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just—“ you sigh, sniffling a little. “Feel like I don’t deserve this.” you pause, eyes quickly darting his way and back. “Like I don’t deserve you.”

Steve’s facial expression contorts into one of worry and confusion in a matter of seconds. “Oh, baby… C’mere.”

He reaches out, wrapping a strong arm around your shoulders and pulling you flush to his chest. The warm scent of his cologne overtakes your senses, and you can’t help but feel comforted by it. His large hand rubs over your back, gently, soothingly, and he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Y’know, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.” He mumbles against your hair.

You scoff; why would the Steve Harrington ever feel that way?

“Seriously, like,” he leans back a little, still holding you, “I used to be such an asshole. And you knew me back then, you’ve seen me during my worst times, when my ego was bigger than Hawkins itself, and you still decided I was worth your time. The fact that you stuck with me all that time, that really does count for something.”

You close your eyes to reminisce for a moment. He’s not entirely wrong, he was an asshole, but if anyone is the living proof that a person can change, it’s Steve.

He looks down at you, eyes full of love, glad to see you're starting to come out of your insecure cloud of thoughts.

"You know, even if you're not sick, you don't have to earn my affection."

Your head peeks out of the embrace he has you in, all curled up on his lap. Your eyes are a little glassy from almost crying, and though he hates seeing you sad like this, you do look so pretty.

"Yeah?" you ask, voice a little fragile.

"Yeah," he replies, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, "not now," peck, "and not ever."

You giggle softly, returning the gesture. The kiss deepens by the second, your lips melting together in what you could only describe as "getting lost in each other". And that's exactly what you do, because while his tongue slips past your lips and your fingers slide into his hair, you forget all about the sickness you'd been so tormented by.

Your eyes open suddenly, a soft gasp erupting from you as you pull away. "Wait, no-- no, I'm sick Stevie!"

He simply chuckles in return, pulling you in again before you can protest. "So what?" he mumbles against the plushness of your lips, "if I get sick, you'll take care of me too, right?"

"Duh," the tip of your nose rubs gently over his, "I'll make you chicken noodle soup and everything."

"Good, so," he shifts your positions, laying you down gently under him, your back flat onto the couch, "a bit of kissin' won't hurt."

You grin, the pure love and affection flooding your body making you forget all about being sick. "You're impossible, Harrington."

"You love it." He leans down to peck your lips once more.

"Yeah," your arms wind around him, "you got me there."

tag list ₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚

@palmtreesx3 @inkluvs

[leashybebes]

#in my deeply and thoroughly jossed tommy begins fic which i will get to some day he denies that he's traumatised because he's just #"a messy closet case who's never too far from tears when he's alone with himself" and it's like i wrote that and rewired my own brain

*ears perking up*👀👀👀

I just know this is gonna be so good!!!🩵

(Comes from a person who also denies she’s traumatized)

Ooh, thank you! I have around 5k of it written, but I wrote myself into a corner with the structure and got annoyed with myself. For you, a snippet 💖 (We can also call this fic Tommy Goes To Therapy or Tommy vs. The Trauma Checklist Agenda)

Tommy is twenty seven years old and he is trying. He is twenty seven and he is figuring himself out and he feels like a teenager, like a failure. It's horrible and difficult and mostly it feels like he gets an hour a week to pick over the corpses of his mistakes. But he thinks about the specifics, little things like having someone to drop by the firehouse in the middle of a long shift, like Hen's wife, or Howie's latest ill-advised squeeze. He thinks about not being so fucking careful all the time that he feels like he's going to shatter.

He thinks - he thinks - it will be worth it. So. Tommy is twenty seven and he feels like he's white-knuckling his way through every human interaction, but he is really, really trying.

The first time Zarah names the thing at the root of his fear as trauma, Tommy recoils. Because he's seen what trauma has done to people and he, what? He's a messy closet case who's never particularly far from tears when he's alone with himself. Wow. He knows Zarah doesn't like it when he thinks about himself in that disparaging way, but right now he doesn't care what she likes. It's stupid. He's not traumatized just because he made a shitty decision as a teenager and regrets it now.

He comes around a little when she gives him a couple of checklists to fill out, and when she makes it clear she's not talking about military trauma. Or not just that, anyway. 

One sticks out in particular, a trauma risk checklist, and Tommy remembers the high risk column blurring as he read avoidance coping style and poor self regulation of emotion and poor parent-child relationship. So. So, maybe. Maybe he's at higher risk than average but nothing really - not that nothing happened, Tommy saw shit, did shit, but no more than anyone else. No catastrophic failure, no desert crashes, no more than the usual number of desperate firefights.

"You weren't scared?" Zarah asks, looking interested.

"What?"

"I mean you've said you're scared of someone finding out right now, when you work for an organization which - while regressive in places as you've unfortunately experienced - doesn't have any active regulations against you fully experiencing your sexuality. I'm wondering why that wasn't the case then."

"I - " Tommy is stumped.

[the-quiet-machine]

Some pre-virus Moon

So I'm gonna be real with y'all. This is the first bit of writing that's seen the light of day in over a decade. So please be nice?

---

At just shy of 9.5k words, this went on waaaaay longer than I meant for it to. This is a much expanded, slightly different POV of my other pre-virus Moon post.

Lala just kind of popped into my brain as the kind of minds-their-own-business person who would think Sun and Moon are fascinating but also not want to bother them with their fascination. And I think that's a cute dynamic to have for a quiet friendship with Moon during pre-virus night shifts.

This one is looooong, so most of the fic will be under the cut.

---

Being the night shift security guard for the all-new Freddy Fazbear Pizza Plex™ was an exercise in patience and anxiety.

The bright and exuberant attractions dimmed and shut down, the human staff mostly cleared out, and the main attractions retired to their green rooms for the most part. Only running into the S.T.A.F.F. bots on occasion and getting accidentally accosted by MapBot. Everything got a horror show vibe that made shifts a bit nerve-wracking.

On the other hand, almost nothing ever happened. Everyone knew the weird and potentially litigious history of Fazbear Entertainment, and so very few people wanted to bring down the hammer for the short thrill of breaking in. Just the occasional S.T.A.F.F. bot that got stuck and needed a helping human hand to pull them out. Shifts could feel interminable if they thought about it for too long.

"Hey Greg." Lala nodded to the day shift guard, a gruff older man who made the day-time patrons feel safe. Lala had started on the day shift, but that hadn't lasted long before management had moved them to the night shift instead. No one wanted to admit to anything, but they could recognize that they were a little… small for a security guard.

With the extra pay and quieter shifts? They didn't see any reason not to just take the night shift.

"Crazy day, Lala. Crazy day." He said as he stood from the chair. "Too many birthdays, too many mama bears screaming at employees when somethin' stupid makes their brat cry."

"So just like every other day?" They asked, smirking a bit when Greg waved them off with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, night shift." He clapped a hand on their shoulder as he headed toward the door. "I'll see you in a few days. Splitting shifts now that I've got grandbabies on the way." Lala smiled and settled into the chair he had vacated, quickly finding his silhouette on the cameras. They followed his path on the monitors until he disappeared into the employee locker rooms.

They settled in to the mundane routine of the start of night shift: checking the monitors, reading the incident reports, and signing off on their first round of monitor checks. Only once all the paperwork was complete did they push back from the creaking roll-chair. They patted at their belt, confirming by feel their flashlight, their key ring, their badge, and various pouches they had filled before coming on shift.

Night shift might be routine, but that didn't mean they shouldn't be ready for the unexpected.

All the necessary gear confirmed, they left the main security office to do their rounds. Tucked at the back of the 'plex, Lala had a bit of a walk to get to their usual starting point. Could they shift up their routes to start and end at the main security office? Sure. But that would take away one of the small joys that helped make the interminable night shift a little easier to bare.

When they reached the front of the 'plex, they checked that all the roll doors were properly locked and latched in. Greg had never done a half-ass job a day in his life as far as Lala knew, but it was part of the checklist. They nodded when all the doors stayed in place at their gentle tugging. It was as they were turning toward Glamrock Gifts that they heard it.

Jingle-jingle

They smiled as they swung their flashlight ahead of them. The night shift might have been long and repetitive, but that didn't mean they were alone for the whole thing.

Moon was… skittish, if they had to pick just one word to describe them. Greg had stayed late on Lala's first day on the night shift to introduce them, but Moon had been mostly quiet even then. Staying carefully just out of reach and preferring to crouch on signs or swing from their cable. Lala hadn't pushed, too busy being quietly amazed at the fluidity of their movements.

The protocols were clear: stick to identifying threats and let Moon take care of any actual danger.

It had seemed incongruous at the time. The part of the Daycare Attendant that normally took care of nap time for children was going to be the muscle of a security outfit? But then Greg had tossed his empty energy drink can at Moon. The can crumpled under their darting grasp, and Lala's reservations were soundly put to rest.

They had spent their next few shifts reading what they could understand from the manual they had found buried under old magazines. They were hardly an engineer, but what they could understand of Moon's specifications were amazing, the balance of strength and delicacy mind-boggling.

Lala had kept an eye out while they walked their rounds, learning the rhythm of the Pizza Plex at night. Occasionally, they heard a delicate tinkle, a soft jingle-jangle, from the shadowy eaves. And it had become something of a delight as they settled into a routine. Sometimes they would cross paths with Moon, the quiet jester leaping and crouching and watching from high above the ground level.

They enjoyed those quiet moments, making sure to send a warm smile whichever way the delicate sound of Moon's bells emanated from. Moon never engaged, so Lala respected the existing silence between them.

Still, it was nice to know that they weren't all alone on their shifts. The S.T.A.F.F. bots didn't really count, unable to speak and usually unwilling to engage with people beyond their protocols (though they had accidentally witnessed a dance party with S.T.A.F.F bots and wet floor bots once).

Moon's shifting presence was something to look forward to.

Glamrock Gifts was clear, the metal grate casting minimal shadows into the darkened store. Lala tugged on the grate, nodding when it stayed shut. Another check passed. The jingling started to grow fainter as they stood and turned back to the main lobby. Moon's scan must not have turned up anything interesting.

Lala worked through the rest of their first round with a small smile on their face, ears perked for the chance to hear proof of Moon's presence. When they settled back into the main security office, they were pleased to have heard them at least twice.

They went through the tedious process of confirming that all security checks were passed in the digital log, eyes straining a little in the bright light of the computer after so much time in the dimness of the Pizza Plex.

Once that was finished, they checked all the monitors next. More tedium but it was part of the job. They didn't want to slack and miss something. Lala actually liked this job, despite the wariness that some of their friends had expressed.

On the second to last screen, something moved. Lala snapped to attention, eyes watching the screen intently. They cursed the fact that the cameras didn't move or record in color. The darkness of the Pizza Plex made seeing what had moved difficult.

Frowning, they took note of which camera it was: B1-LD24. It was mostly dark, but the flash of lighter movement had been unmistakeable. They reached for the camera cheat sheet taped to the bottom of the security desk. They had never managed to memorize all the camera codes. They ran their finger down the numbers.

There. First basement level, the loading docks.

Lala frowned. Deliveries usually came toward the end of their shift, close to the time the Pizza Plex officially opened. The basement levels were usually graveyard still during the night shift, save the occasional endoskeleton that got caught on camera. But they knew what a fast-moving endo looked like on camera, and that wasn't what they saw.

They weren't exactly sure what they saw, but it wasn't that. They bit their lip at this disruption to the pleasant routine they had made their shifts. It was their job to check out disturbances. With a heavy sigh, they pushed out of their chair.

Their hands patted their belt, ensuring they had everything: flashlight, key ring, bade, pouches. Before they left the main security office, they headed to the far wall. They fished through their key ring as they approached, pulling out a key they hadn't had to use since their first day when they proved they could operate the lock.

They frowned when they noticed a faint tremor to their hands as they unlocked the cabinet. The patented (they had checked) Fazer-Tazer™ sat, all unassuming, when they managed to open the cabinet.

Lala hated that the Fazer-Tazer™ existed.

Oh, they knew how to use it. They had been trained on it and forced to demonstrate their ability with it during their first week. But seeing the 'volunteer' S.T.A.F.F. bot seize and jitter when the contact points connected with their body had sent Lala's stomach rolling. It was luck that the night shift was so quiet that they had never needed to use it again.

But this was another thing in the rules: always check out disturbances with the proper equipment. Since they weren't sure if this was an endoskeleton or a person, they had to take it.

They handled the weapon delicately, carefully sliding the incongruously Monty-shaped casing into the empty slot on their belt. With uneasy determination, they left the main security office and headed for the stairs that would take them down.

As they trekked back toward the lobby and the staff-only entrance to the basement stairs, they couldn't help but find the previously familiar Pizza Plex unsettling. Shadows that never bothered them before had them squinting nervously into their darkness.

They couldn't help wishing that they would hear the familiar jingle-jingle of Moon in the rafters.

And like some higher power had heard their plaintive thought, a faint jingle reached their ears. They jerked to a stop, head snapping up to scan the dark ceiling. Moon could run dark when they wanted to, optic lights fully off to blend in with the darkness, and they frequently did.

Another delicate jingle reached their ears, and they snapped their head toward where they thought it came from. Straining their eyes, they tried in vain to spot their fellow security.

"M-Moon?" They called out, voice shaking some. They frowned at the obvious tell of their nerves and cleared their throat a bit. "Uh, Moon? I hate to bother you, but… could I ask a favor?" The jingling had stopped, so Lala couldn't be sure that Moon was even still in the area. But they held perfectly still, eyes darting around where they last heard the tell-tale jingle.

"A faaavor?" Came from almost directly above them, and Lala couldn't help the squeak that escaped. Their head snapped up, only to meet Moon's lit optics a few inches away.

Once the shock of Moon being so close passed, Lala felt relief flood their entire body, shoulders slumping and their clenched fists relaxing.

"Oh, you startled me." They chuckled a bit, patting their racing heart. Moon's head tilted, the little puffball on the end of their sleeping cap shifting with the motion.

"A favor?" They repeated, drifting back and up some. Lala nodded, giving them a tremulous smile.

"Would it be possible for you to come with me down to the loading docks?" They tangled their fingers together in front of their body. "I saw something on the monitors, but I wasn't sure if it was an endo or… something else."

It wasn't exactly protocol for Moon to accompany them when checking a disturbance. Moon was an expensive and delicate piece of highly sophisticated machinery and software; if there was no reason for them to be at a disturbance, they shouldn't be called in. This was especially true for the areas where Moon's flight tether couldn't reach. Like the basement levels.

But this was Lala's first real disturbance on the night shift, and something about it was unsettling them more than the ones they had handled during their short time on the day shift.

"Hmm…" Moon's thoughtful hum was surprisingly melodious. "That's not protocol." Lala frowned, biting the corner of their bottom lip. Moon was right, and they both knew it.

"Could you… wait nearby while I check it out?" They hedged, eyes darting to the door marked 'Staff Only' with trepidation. "I would feel better if I knew you were nearby, even if it's nothing." Moon's head tilted the opposite direction, then kept going. Their faceplate twirled a full circle under their sleeping cap.

"Being close wooould mean dealing with intruders faster." They said after a long moment, drifting closer again. To Lala's surprise, they reached back and unhooked themself from their cable, landing surprisingly lightly for a machine weighing hundreds of pounds. "I will stay by the doooooor." Lala blinked in surprise for a moment before a smile flooded onto their face.

"Oh, thank you so much, Moon." They gushed, bringing their tangled fingers up under their chin. "You have no idea how much better I feel knowing you'll be watching." Moon's faceplate did another full twirl, and Lala nodded with conviction. Bolstered by their mechanical backup, they headed toward the 'Staff Only' door with more confidence.

They still weren't looking forward to checking out whatever the disturbance was, but knowing Moon was only a shout away made it less terrifying. The quiet, consistent jingle of Moon's bells behind them was a surprisingly reassuring sound.

Pushing open the door, Lala pulled their flashlight from their belt and turned it on. The beam shone weakly into the darkness of the staircase, just barely illuminating the landing where the staircase turned. What little light shone past their own body decreased more as the larger form of Moon appeared behind their own.

Lala took a deep breath, then let it out in a whoosh. They looked over their shoulder to meet Moon's optics with a small smile.

"I'll yell if I need help." They assured them. Moon gave a little nod, the puffball on their hat bobbing cheerily with the motion. Lala nodded back, then turned back to head down the stairs.

Some of the confidence drifted away as they turned on the landing, flashlight only barely illuminating the basement floor. They swallowed hard, reminded themself that Moon was just waiting for their signal, and descended those final steps.

The loading dock wasn't far from the stairwell, thankfully. They swung their flashlight broadly as they approached the roll doors. Lala stayed alert for the tell-tale sounds of an approaching endo, but the darkness was silent beyond their own footsteps.

When they reached the first dock entrance, they focused their flashlight beam on the lock. It looked intact, and they tugged the roll door handle gently. It clanked against the lock's shank, still securely in place.

One down, five to go.

Lala sighed and stood straight, turning their flashlight down the row of docking doors. In the dim light, none of the locks looked like they had been tampered with. Still, they had to check each one before they could say they determined no one had broken in through them.

They were only two steps away from the next door when a hand clapped over their mouth and something sharp pressed to their side.

"Don't struggle." A deep voice hissed, unsettlingly close to their ear. Lala craned their body to get away from whatever was pressed against them, but it just made keeping their balance more difficult. "I said stop!" It jabbed closer, and they couldn't help the whimper that escaped their throat.

"Be quiet, or I'll stab you." Lala swallowed harshly at the certainty of the voice. They could curse their own idiocy in not checking all the many boxes and shelves around the loading dock before checking the doors. "All right. Go. We're getting the money." Lala nodded, breathing heavily through their nose. The hand over their mouth smelled like dust and sweat.

Arched backward as they were, climbing the stairs was a precarious task. But as they slowly approached the landing, their mind was split.

A huge part of their focus was on not letting what was likely a knife get any closer to cutting through their uniform. But a small, panicking part just kept thinking about how they just needed to get to where Moon could see them.

Moon, the one who would take care of any actual danger. Moon, who would be waiting at the top of the stairs. Moon, who was the big guard dog to their little yappy dog.

They felt their eyes prickling with relieved tears as they stepped onto the landing. Just one more turn and—

Moon was gone, and the door was closed.

Lala blinked in disbelief, their hope sinking like a stone into despair. The intruder behind them didn't care for their sudden stop, finally jabbing hard enough to slice through cloth and into skin.

"Move." He hissed, the hand over their mouth finally shifting some. Lala gasped for panicked air as it left their mouth, though they swallowed hard when it just shifted to their neck.

Their body felt overwhelmed, a mix of pain, shock, and terror mixing into a sensory nightmare. The intruder's hand on their neck made their skin crawl.

They stumbled up the stairs, their legs starting to shake beneath them.

Moon had said… Moon had promised…

Maybe… maybe they were just on the other side of the door? Maybe they just needed to get out of the basement staircase? Moon was always more comfortable in the open air and attached to their cable.

As they reached the final few steps, the hand around their throat tightened and the knife slid across their skin again, a burning pain this time.

Oh, that's not good. That's deeper.

"Open the door, and don't try anything funny." The intruder hissed into their ear, an unsettling blast of air against sensitive skin. Lala nodded frantically, not wanting to think about how their side was starting to feel wet.

Like a gift from the universe, the grip on their neck loosened then fell away completely. It settled on their shoulder, but that was blessedly covered by their uniform. The discomfort of skin-on-skin faded away.

Lala took the final step up to the door, the knife sliding back. They flinched at the way the blade slid over already open flesh, but at least it wasn't pressed so close.

For just a moment, they hesitated, hands hovering over the push bar. What if Moon wasn't there? What if they didn't come when Lala screamed?

Because they would. They would shove the door open and scream and hope that Moon held up their end of the bargain.

The intruder wouldn't be able to open the safe without a passcode, so they couldn't be hurt too badly.

"Move it!" The intruder hissed from behind them. Lala took a deep breath in and shoved open the door with a bang.

"MOON!" They shrieked, louder than they had used their voice in years. They stumbled forward as fast as they could, rushing toward the statue in the center of the lobby. More room for an aerial Moon to maneuver.

"You little—ghrrk!" The intruder's voice cut off in a strangled sound, but Lala didn't stop. Their side throbbed in red-hot pain, but they kept going until they rounded the Freddy statue. Only then did they look back at the door they had fled from.

Barely halfway through the doorway, the intruder was pinned to the ground. Much to Lala's relief, Moon was crouched spider-like over the man, one delicate hand pressing down, down, down on the intruder's neck to hold them to the ground. To Lala's surprise, Moon was… on the other side of the doorway, their hand extending out of the stairwell and into the main lobby.

Lala watched in quiet shock as Moon handled the intruder with a roughness they didn't expect from the quiet daycare attendant, the strength of their hold visible even from so far away. It settled something in them to hear the intruder make quiet, choked noises at Moon's rough handling.

Watching the intruder get tied up with blue ribbons made a smile bloom on their face, though just from the way the intruder's arm bulged they could see the ribbons were wrapped extra tight. Only when the intruder was essentially hog-tied did Moon finally turn their attention away.

Lala felt their body start to shake as Moon stood to their full height, faceplate tilting as they stepped through the stairway door frame. It was easy to forget how much bigger Moon was when they were usually seen at a distance or curled in a crouch. There was no forgetting it as they rounded the statue to approach.

"Eulalia Wrona, you are injured." Lala startled at that, unused to hearing their full name unless they were in trouble with their grandmother.

"I-I… uh, what?" They stuttered, hands twisting together in front of them. Moon's faceplate tilted and bobbed into a full spin.

"You are injured." Their spindly hand pointed down and to Lala's side.

And just like that, the pain of it rushed back. Lala hissed, hands disentangling to untuck their polo. A few inches above their trousers, two slices formed a ragged 'x' in their flesh, both of the cuts dripping blood that soaked into the top of their trousers.

"Aw, fuck." They muttered, eyes beading with tears now that the pain was in the forefront of their mind.

"Language." Moon chided softly, coming closer and squatting down. Their faceplate came almost level with Lala's hips, their optics going brighter for a moment as they examined the cuts. "The authorities have been alerted to an intruder with a knife." Lala bites their lip as Moon's fingers prod delicately around the cuts.

"Th-Thank you, Moon." They mumbled, some of their tears slipping down their face. "I know it's my job to do that." And it was. Protocol said that Moon took care of the threat, but it was the security guard's job to alert the appropriate authorities.

"This will need stitches." Moon pronounced, looking up. Lala frowned.

"I…" They trailed off, thinking of the cost of a visit to the emergency room at this time of night. On top of the cost to replace their sliced polo and clean the blood out of their trousers… "Do they need it? Can't I use some of the butterfly bandages?" The main security office had a first aid kit, used mostly to 'heal' the boo-boos of children who just wanted assurance.

Lala knew there were some butterfly bandages in the non-Fazbear package of bandages. The night shift was usually calm, and they could take it easy during the day…

Moon's faceplate twirled again, and Lala got the distinct impression that they were dissatisfied with Lala's response.

"You will need stitches." They asserted, firmly but quietly. "Buuuut…" Lala sucked in a breath as Moon trailed off.

"But?" They asked, leaning a little closer to the crouched robot.

"But I have a wound stitching and dressing module installed." Lala blinked. Well, that wasn't something they would have expected from a security bot. But then, Moon was more than security, weren't they? They were the nap time attendant, the one to soothe children to sleep.

Children that age would get into all kinds of scrapes, and Moon having advanced medical skills made sense.

"Would… Could I trouble you to stitch it shut?" Lala asked, hoping they were reading the quiet bot correctly.

Honestly, this night amounted to the most they had ever spoken with Moon since they were initially hired.

"Aaaafter he's gone." Moon gestured with surprising violence at the hog-tied intruder. Lala looked back over at the intruder, having almost entirely forgotten about their presence in the face of their injury.

The man's mouth was gagged with more blue ribbon, though his face was contorted in thwarted fury. Lala shivered a little to see it, their eyes dropping to his hands.

His empty hands.

"Where's his knife?" They asked, looking around. Maybe Moon had kicked it away, and Lala just hadn't noticed in their panic?

"Here." Lala jerked their head back around to see Moon spirit the bloody knife from out of their poofy pants. They felt a little queasy as they recognized that it was their blood staining the metal.

"Oh, uh… right." They swallowed heavily and were silently grateful when Moon slipped it back into the pocket they pulled it from. "Um… how long until the authorities get here, again?" They needed something, anything to get their mind off the still throbbing pain of their injury and the image of the bloody knife.

Moon's optics flared brighter for a moment, before their faceplate did another twirl. They seemed to enjoy doing that, the motion surprisingly expressive.

"They're parking now." Moon's quiet statement surprised Lala. Their head snapped toward the main entrance door, still locked and closed with the roll doors.

"Oh, I need to—"

"Sit down." Moon interjected, large hands catching them gently by the shoulders and pressing them down onto the statue pedestal. "IIIIII will do it." Lala blinked up at Moon, surprised at their words. Moon's hands hovered over their shoulders for a moment, before they nodded.

They turned and headed to the doors, leaving Lala staring after them.

Lala hadn't known Moon was so kind, though there had really been no reason to know until now. Their robotic coworker had been skittish before, preferring to stay out of reach and off the ground.

By some magic, Moon unlocked and opened one of the roll doors without the key on Lala's key ring. They watched as Moon waved the officers in. The officers looked visibly uncomfortable with being greeted by Moon, obviously not used to interacting with robots. When Moon gestured toward them, Lala waved weakly. The two officers look relieved to see an actual person.

They took a deep breath, bracing their hands against their knees to stand. In a flash, Moon was by their side and laying a gentle hand on their shoulder.

"Stayyyy seated." Moon chided softly. "I explained you are… shaken." Lala blinked up at the tall robot, the gears of their mind grinding slowly to life.

Oh. So they weren't telling the officers about their injuries. That made sense, if they didn't want to fight with paramedics about going to the emergency room.

A few moments later, one of the officers was standing in front of them, a look of sympathy on his face.

"I'm Officer Touri." He said, crouching to be more level with them. "I'm told you had a rough night. Can I ask you some questions about what happened?" Lala nodded dazedly, glancing up at Moon for a moment. Moon kept their hand on Lala's shoulder, a comforting weight.

"Uh, sure." They said, leaning a little closer to Moon. They would be lying if they said they wanted to talk to a cop, but there was no escaping it now that they were here.

"Great!" The officer gave a smile that was obviously supposed to be reassuring. Lala did not feel reassured. "For the record, can you tell me your name and job title?"

"Yeah. Um… I'm Eulalia Wrona, and I'm the night shift security guard at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Plex." The man nodded at their statement, making no move to write any of it down. Lala frowned a bit. Shouldn't he be taking notes so they wouldn't have to do this again?

"And could you describe what happened? Start from when you first noticed anything amiss." He said. Moon's hand flexed gently on their shoulder, and they peeked up again. Moon's face couldn't really emote, stationary except for the way their faceplate could twirl, but just looking at them settled some of the discomfort of talking to a cop.

"I saw something on one of the cameras when… um, when I was doing my second monitor check." They thought back to what, realistically, had probably only been ten or twenty minutes ago at the most. Strange that it felt like ages ago. "Something had moved near the loading docks, and it's protocol to check disturbances out." The officer nodded.

"I went to look, and I… ran into Moon along the way." Lala gestured up at the robot still standing at their shoulder. "Protocol says they're… not really allowed to enter locations without their cable access without good reason, so I would need to confirm something was wrong before they could go down. They, um, they agreed to stand by the door to wait for me, and they would come down if I yelled for help." Fat lot of good that promise did. They had been muffled and held at knife point faster than they could scream for Moon.

"It was hard to see in the dark. The lights are on a timer, so I couldn't have turned them on. Um. It was hard to see, and my flashlight isn't very bright. I looked around a bit, but protocol says that the loading dock doors need to be checked first." Lala swallowed hard as they thought about the moments before the intruder had caught them. "The, um, the first door was fine. Um.. I… I was, um, I was walking to the—to the second door when… when…" Their voice cracked, and heat flooded their cheeks.

Keep it together, Lala! It's over, and Moon is right there, and they have faster reflexes than any human. The intruder isn't going to get past them any time soon.

"Take your time." The officer reached a hand out but stopped short of touching. Lala eyed his hand warily until he brought it back to hanging between his bent knees.

Again, Moon's hand gave a gentle squeeze, and Lala looked up at them. Again, they drew courage from the familiar shape of their faceplate.

"The intruder grabbed me… um, right before I checked the second door." Lala rushed the words out, wanting to get this over with. "They covered my mouth and… and… they… they…" They suddenly remembered that they were going to be leaving out their injury. Would mentioning the knife be a good idea?

Another gentle squeeze pulled them from their head and brought their attention back to Moon. They gave the tiniest of nods, only noticeable by the way their puffball shifted some.

"They had a knife." Lala said. "And they threatened me. They were behind me, so I couldn't… I couldn't really fight back. Protocol says we're not supposed to use force in disturbances involving humans. That's what Moon is for." The officer blinked a few times, eyes drifting over to the hand on their shoulder. Lala frowned.

"The intruder, um, he… he obviously didn't know about Moon. So he forced me up the stairs. When we reached the top, the door was shut. I think… I think maybe—maybe he thought I would have a partner on the other side? Since… since he pushed me ahead of him. And… Well, the safe needs a key and a passcode to be opened. If he hurt me too much, then… then I—then I wouldn't be able to give him the passcode." They determinedly didn't think about how they felt when they didn't see Moon at the top of the stairs.

Moon pulled through eventually, and that's what mattered.

"When he pushed me ahead, I just ran. Shoved the door open and kept going until… until I reached this side of the statue." Lala blinked a bit bemusedly as they realized that Moon had pretty much taken down the intruder the second Lala was far enough away to not be hurt. They looked back up at Moon again. "And I had screamed for Moon as soon as I had pushed open the door." Moon's faceplate did a full twirl, and it made Lala smile.

"When I finally turned around, Moon had already… handled him." Lala looked back at the officer to see him look over toward the 'Staff Only' door leading to the basement. Though really, he was probably looking at where the intruder was laying, all hog-tied up in blue ribbons that matched Moon's color scheme.

"Moon came and… calmed me down." Lala continued, very aware that this was the part of their story they couldn't fuck up. "They told me they had already called… you guys, and I didn't need to worry."

The officer shook his head a little before looking back to Lala.

"And that's everything?" He asked. "Everything you remember?" Lala frowned.

"Yes." They said, voice curt. Moon's hand squeezed their shoulder again, and they leaned closer to them in response.

They just wanted this to be over. They would still have to write up an incident report for Fazbear's records.

"So where is this knife?" The officer asked, eyes narrowing a little on Moon's hand.

"Heeeere." Moon produced the knife with a flourish, and Lala blinked to see that it was perfectly clean. Not a drop of blood on it. They leaned down to offer the knife to the officer. Lala took a bit of petty satisfaction to see the officer uncomfortable as he took the knife from Moon's much, much bigger hands.

"Ah… thanks." He said awkwardly, eyes only flicking up to Moon's faceplate for a moment before they dropped back to the knife.

"Hey Touri, can you give me a hand?" Lala startled, head whipping around to face the yell. Ah, the other officer. It looked like he was struggling with the intruder, who was bucking hard despite still being tied up in ribbons. "I don't have enough hands to get this one cuffed." Lala looked back in time to see the officer, Touri, sigh and push to standing position.

"If you're sure that's all." He said, sparing them another glance. "We'll be in touch about getting any footage of the incident." With that, he strode off toward his partner and the intruder. Lala let out a shaky sigh, slumping even closer to Moon but straightening with a quiet hiss when that just squashed their cuts.

"Just a little longer." Moon said, hand shifting to help keep them upright. "If you waaaant, you coooould go back to the security office." Lala bit their lip, glancing over to the officers who were struggling to hold the intruder still enough to slip on cuffs.

"It wouldn't be… strange?" They asked, turning to look at Moon. They had crouched since the officer left.

"It caaaaan be for collecting the camera footage." They offered, and relief swamped Lala. They nodded fervently, hands coming up to grab Moon's larger one.

"Thank you so much, Moon." Lala sniffed a bit, beginning to feel overwhelmed now that the worst was over. "I don't… I don't know what I would have done without you." Moon's faceplate twirled once, twice.

"Come. Up, but slowly." They said eventually, shifting one hand under Lala's elbow and the other hovering by their shoulder. Lala took a deep breath, clenched their eyes shut, and forced themself to stand.

The pain was breathtaking, forcing the air from their lungs in a quiet wheeze. Still, Moon's steadying hand under their elbow and against their back helped them stay up through the radiating pain. They panted shallowly for a bit before they finally felt like they could open their eyes without being overwhelmed.

Moon had shifted silently, now bent over and slightly in front of them, ready to catch them if their legs gave out. Lala gave them a tremulous smile.

"That… that wasn't fun." An understatement if they had ever made one. Moon nodded. Their face wasn't made to change expression, always and forever a bright grin, but Lala felt like it conveyed sympathy to their plight.

"Go sloooowly." They advised as Lala turned to face the rest of the lobby. "I will finish heeeeere." Lala gave them a grateful smile before taking their first tentative step.

The pain was very… present. It hurt, took up a huge chunk of their attention, made thinking about anything but putting one foot in front of the other difficult. But it was manageable enough that they were confident as they shuffled away from Moon's supporting hands.

The trip back to the main security office was a blur they managed purely because the route back was practically engraved into their muscle memory. When they finally made it, they stared uneasily at the chair.

Sitting would be painful too, and they didn't think the old thing could hold their weight if they tried to drop into it. With a grimace, they fastened their hands around the arm rests and started the slow process of sitting.

The pain wasn't as blinding as it was for standing, but it still made them feel a little lightheaded when they were finally seated. They took shuddering breaths until the pain receded back to a manageable level.

The monitors were still running, flicking automatically through the feeds. Lala flicked through them manually, pausing when they came to the lobby feeds.

In the time it took them to stumble to the main security office, the police officers had managed to cuff and untie the intruder, though the man was struggling wildly against their hold. Moon was nowhere to be seen in the feed, but that probably meant they had retreated back to the high ground.

Lala felt a warm glow in their chest at the thought that Moon had stayed on the ground just for them.

On the monitor, one of the officers stepped away from the intruder and tilted their head way up, mouth moving silently. Yeah, Moon definitely had gone back to the rafters.

They watched as the officers eventually corralled the intruder out of the Pizza Plex. Only when the door was shut behind them did Moon's spindly form reappear on the monitors. Moon did their magic with the door, somehow locking it despite the key being on Lala's key ring. Once the door was shut and the lock tested, Moon turned and looked directly at the camera. Lala smiled when their faceplate did a twirl before their tether tugged them up and out of sight again.

Lala sighed, wincing as they leaned back in the chair and let the automatic camera flipping resume. Moon would find them… eventually. They would have to see each other on the next round of security checks anyway. They just had to make it to the next round. Luckily, that wouldn't be for another hour, so they had plenty of time to recover in the security office.

A bit listless, they let their head flop in the direction of the old first aid kit. It was in the far corner, hidden in a lower cabinet and probably shoved all the way to the back. Did they really want to go through the pain of getting up, squatting and scrounging for it, then standing and coming back to the chair again?

Hell no.

With a sigh, Lala resigned themself to just hoping the cuts didn't jostle too much until they ran into Moon again.

They turned the chair just enough that they could watch the feeds again. The pain of their injury, now that they were seated, settled to a dull throb. It wouldn't be hard to stay awake during their shift. The pain would keep them alert. They settled in to watching, prepared to avoid thinking about how they'll need to stand once the time for their next round of security checks arrived.

A knock sounded against the main security room door.

Lala's whole body tensed up, the sound strange in the way it broke the routine of being a night shift security guard.

Who—

"Eulalia Wrona." Oh. The tension instantly bled out of their body, though they winced at the way it made their wound throb more insistently. That was Moon's voice. "Come ouuuuuut." Lala sighed before spinning the chair to face the door. The idea of getting up before their schedule round was… unpleasant.

"But I just got settled." They mumble under their breath, hands flexing on the arm rests. They would stand up. They would! It just… they needed the time to work up the guts.

"You neeeeeeed stitches." Moon said, knocking a little more insistently this time. Lala bit their lip and forced themself up all at once. Again, the pain was dizzying, leaving them teetering a little as they waited for the sensation to pass.

"I'm… I'm coming." They called, taking a deep breath. The world settled with it, and they approached the security room door. The ten or so steps felt much more lengthy than normal, but Lala just chalked that up to pain making everything harder.

When they opened the door, Moon's tall figure was almost pressed into the door frame. Lala blinked in surprise, swaying back at the unexpectedly close presence.

"Uh, hi Moon." They said absently. Moon immediately took a large step back and hunched into their more typical crouching pose. It was a little funny to see on the ground instead of from far below. "Time for… uh, time for stitches?" Moon nodded, and Lala noticed their tether flying in, heard the quiet click as it snapped into place. To their surprise, Moon didn't retreat to the rafters.

They rose from their crouch a little, enough to be considered standing at least, though they stayed hunched over enough to almost be eye-level with Lala. Their faceplate did a twirl, then another, before they waved Lala closer.

"Come." They waited just long enough to see Lala start walking before they turned and headed down the long pathway. Lala sighed but dutifully followed after. To their mild surprise, Moon stayed on the ground even though their tether was still attached. Seeing them walk on the ground was as rare as hen's teeth, so Lala made sure to savor the sight.

Moon considerately kept their pace something Lala could match, despite their much, much longer legs. It only reaffirmed the new way they would describe Moon: kind.

They didn't ask Moon where they were going, more focused on keeping their breathing steady to help keep the pain in their side manageable. It made the walk feel both interminable and over before they knew it.

When Moon finally stopped and turned to look at them, they were just outside the doors that lead into the Superstar Daycare. Lala took a few deep breaths, looking at Moon expectantly. Long moments of silence passed.

"Not scared?" Moon asked, something strange in their voice. Lala blinked, their brow scrunching up in confusion.

"Shhhhhould I be?" They asked hesitantly. They couldn't really think of any moments or times that Moon had made them feel unsafe or scared. Even when they first met when Lala was hired, they were more fascinated by Moon's existence than scared. Fazbear Entertainment had a reputation, sure; but that didn't mean that the robots they created weren't wondrous.

"…Noooo." They murmured before pulling open the large door. It wasn't a small door, large enough to soar over even Moon's head, but they made opening it seem easy. The tether unclipped and zipped up into the darkness, while Moon stepped into the deeper darkness of the daycare.

By necessity, there were few lights in the Superstar Daycare. The overheads, legally required, were off and controlled by the timer that controlled the rest of the lights in the building. Only some dim, also legally required, hazard lights and the exit sign lit up the otherwise dark space.

Lala had never been inside before, both day shift and night shift well aware that the daycare was Sun and Moon's domain. Moon might have been the one with explicit access to the security protocols, but Sun had access to them in emergencies. So they had peeked through the glass on their first day but not much else.

That unmemorable peek wouldn't really help with all the lights off.

"Uh, Moon?" They squeaked, taking a few tentative steps in before stopping. "I, uh… I can't really… see in here." In the dark, a pair of optic lights suddenly appeared, glowing a silvery blue in the dark. Lala focused on them intently as they wandered back.

"Haaaand." Moon said when they were within touching distance. Confused, Lala stuck their hand out, squinting a bit to try and see what little Moon's optic lights illuminated on their faceplate. Something took a delicate hold of Lala's hand, making them jump. "Follow meeeee." Oh, it was Moon's hand! Lala happily followed, confident that Moon wouldn't lead them into anything that would cause them more harm.

Moon led them into the far side of the daycare, where a dimly lit security desk sat against the wall furthest from the door. They brought Lala's hand forward until it touched the desk before letting go.

"Sit heeeeere." They said before turning away. The dim lights showed their back for only a moment before they were mostly lost in the darkness again. Shrugging, Lala gingerly leaned onto the desk. Their side still hurt, but the desk was low enough that they didn't have to hop up to sit on it.

The dim lights illuminated the outline of the desk, showing the scattered and messy papers that sat on it as well. Lala hadn't heard that there was a security guard or assistant for the daycare, and they squinted against the darkness to try and see what the paperwork was about.

They carefully picked up a page, angling it so it caught the light better.

To their surprise, a child's drawing appeared in the dim light. A scribble-ridden drawing of what looked like a very loose interpretation of Sun. The big yellow circle with squiggly rays and a scribbled body gave that impression anyway. The dim light and their unfamiliarity with children's writing meant that they had no way of interpreting the scribbles at the bottom of the page.

Lala smiled a bit, gently placing the paper back on the desk. It was adorable that Sun and Moon were keeping the drawings children gave to them. It also made them more and more convinced that Moon was incredibly kind.

"Eulalia Wrona." Lala jumped, hissing when the sudden movement yanked at their wound. They turned with a grimace to see Moon's optic lights were in front of them. "Show meee." Lala blinked, the throbbing pain muddling their head a bit. It took a few moments but they eventually realized Moon wanted them to lift their shirt.

With trembling fingers, they tugged their shirt up to their rib cage, glad for the darkness that made it hard for their human eyes to see what the injury looked like. Lala didn't think they could have handled it well.

"There are no numbing agentssss." Moon said in a low tone, one that made Lala bite their lip. "But you willllll need stitches." Lala nodded once, a motion that felt more determined than they were.

"Can you… can you tell me about the drawings?" They asked as Moon squatted to be level with their injury. "Just… just to keep my mind—my mind off of it?" The blank darkness and distant lights of the rest of the pizza plex didn't give them much to distract themself with.

For a long moment, Moon was silent. Lala bit their lip, wondering if maybe they weren't meant to see the drawings, if they should have just stayed quiet and suffered through.

"The children have drawing time twice a day." Moon said, and Lala felt some of their tension slip away. Like they had timed it, the first jab of the needle pierced through Lala's flesh. Their whole body tensed up again, but they refused to look down. "Quiiiiiiet drawing time if they cannot sleep. Louuuuud drawing time with Sun." Lala felt a smile bend their lips. Moon's preference for the quiet drawing that happened during nap time was clear, even if they weren't the one out when the lights were on.

"Not allowwwwed to have drawings on the walls." Moon explained, and Lala's eyes darted to the closest wall. They could barely make out anything, but there were no outlines as far as they could tell. "Sooooo, keep the drawings here. Children not allowed behind the desk. The drawings are saaaaafe. Weeeee get to see them when the children are away." Lala greatly appreciated what Moon was doing to help take their mind off the pain, but each stab and knot of the stitches was unsettlingly high in their awareness.

"Wh-Who made your—hnnnnng—your favorite one?" They couldn't help the high whine that cut through their sentence, a shudder running through their body as another jab of the needle went through. Lala could feel their breaths coming in shallow pants, but they couldn't bring themself to take deeper inhales.

"Hmmmm, my faaaaavorite?" Moon repeated, voice thoughtful even as their optics stayed turned toward Lala's injury. Lala could just see the top of Moon's sleeping cap in the bottom of their vision, and they didn't dare drop their eyes any lower. If they caught sight of what Moon was doing… well, they wouldn't be awake for the rest of their stitches. "All of themmmm." Lala couldn't help chuckling a little, even if it squeaked out through grit teeth.

"That's… That's fair." They said, blinking rapidly to try and keep growing tears at bay. "Picking a, uh… picking a favorite is—" They squeaked, distracted enough to not expect the next jab. Their mouth watered, and their stomach churned queasily. Ooh, they wouldn't make it much longer.

"Only one morrrrre." Moon said. Lala nodded frantically, then clapped a hand over their mouth. That did not help with their queasiness. They breathed shakily through their nose, a tear finally escaping. Nausea pressed against the back of their throat at the final stab of the needle, and their head felt like it was filled with cotton. "Done." Lala let out a shaky breath, blinking a few times to clear the rest of the tears from their eyes.

The silence was heavy as they tried to take deep breaths to calm their roiling stomach and get through the throbbing pain of their stitched wound.

"You did welllll." Moon said. Their large hand came up and patted with infinite gentleness to pat Lala's head. Lala gave a watery chuckle, sniffling a little.

"Tha-Thanks." They muttered past their hand, cautious in lowering it just in case their nausea came back. When a few moments passed and they didn't throw up, Lala cautiously brought their gaze down to meet Moon's optics. "So uhhh… time to get back to—back to work?" Moon looked at them in silence before their face plate spun.

"Yessss." With that, they rose back to their feet, adopting their usual crouched posture. Lala smiled shakily, still taking deep breaths to handle the residual pain. In the gloom, they could just barely make out Moon extending their hand. They took it with a sigh of relief, and Moon led them back over to the door.

By the time Moon was pushing open the door to the daycare, Lala's pain had become manageable enough that walking wasn't torture. With some reluctance, they let go of Moon's hand and turned to give them a smile.

"Thank you again." They said tucking their still shaking hands behind their back. "I… I don't know what I would have done without you tonight." Moon's face plate spun once, twice, before they nodded slowly.

When Moon didn't respond beyond that, Lala took a deep breath.

"Well, I guess that means it's back to work." They patted their belt, checking that they had everything they needed for the rest of their shift. Maybe they would dig out the old first aid kit anyway, put a band-aid or some gauze over the stitched up wound when they got back to the main security station. When they confirmed they had everything, they looked back up at Moon and gave them one last smile. "I'll see you around, Moon." They gave as jaunty as a salute as they could manage before turning away.

&&&

Moon watched as Eulalia Wrona walked into the dimness of the Pizza Plex, likely heading back to the main security station. She would need to perform the next round of security checks in 32 minutes and 28 seconds.

You're just going to let her go alone? Sun asked, a scolding tone in his voice. What if there's another intruder?? Moon shook their head, calling the tether that had followed them along the ceiling. It hooked into their port with a quiet click, and they were soon floating along the rafters.

From their better vantage point, they began following Eulalia Wrona as she walked on the ground.

Their tether didn't go all the way to the security office, but Moon just made sure to be extra quiet and discreet when they were forced to return to the ground. In the back of their mind, Sun cooed about how sweet it was that they were making sure Eulalia Wrona got back to her station safely.

In the small partition that Moon kept separate from Sun's processors, Moon admitted to themself that they would be keeping a closer eye on their night shift guard in the future.

Intruders in the Pizza Plex were rare, especially violent ones, but they never wanted to feel as helpless as they did when they realized that someone had trapped the security guard that had asked them for assistance.

They had lingered in the doorway to the sub-levels when Eulalia Wrona had descended, listening closely to her progress. When they only heard the sound of one door being tested, they had stepped into the stairwell and let the door silently close behind them.

Eulalia Wrona had never slacked in following the protocols, not once since she had been hired. Using their long limbs, they climbed up the narrow staircase walls to crouch closer to the ceiling, out of sight and away from any light that could shine through the thin door window.

Their caution was vindicated when Eulalia Wrona reappeared in the stairwell before protocol could have been completed, followed closely by someone who had a hand clamped over her mouth. Sun had screeched in their mind about the threat to an employee, but Moon had already been calculating when they could wrench the intruder away.

Sun wailed in their mind as, over and over and over, the calculations came back with an unacceptable margin of error for harming Eulalia Wrona in the process. Moon ignored his dramatics, focused more on keeping the calculations running. The second they could, they would deal with the intruder.

It still strained their control to watch Eulalia Wrona be led up the stairs. As the two passed under Moon, they noticed the glint of something held tightly to her back. Closer inspection revealed that it was a knife, and Sun's histrionics kicked up a notch. Moon's determination just grew, and they watched even more vigilantly as the hand over her mouth shifted to her throat.

And like Eulalia Wrona knew their intention, she shoved the door hard, screaming their name as she fled into the lobby. Moon wasted no time in falling on the intruder like an avenging angel, Sun's encouraging howls echoing in their mind.

It was satisfying to clamp their hand around the intruder's neck like his hand had been clamped around Eulalia Wrona's neck. If they squeezed a little harder than their standard protocols allowed… well, that was between them and Sun. They made sure to tie up the intruder tightly, making sure their hog-tie was as uncomfortable as they could make it while still following protocol.

The trust Eulalia Wrona showed them soothed Sun's vitriol in their mind. The way her eyes softened—she leaned into their presence—was unfamiliar but welcome.

Over and over, Eulalia Wrona showed that she trusted them, following their lead as they… bent the protocols a little to ensure her request of 'no hospital visit' could be accommodated. It sent Sun cooing in their mind, though Moon could admit that they were little better.

As Eulalia Wrona finally entered the main security office, Moon let their face plate twirl once, twice.

Safe and sound! Sun trilled. Moon nodded and turned to head back to the areas of the Pizza Plex that had their tether accessible. Now we just know that we'll have to keep a closer eye on her in the future. And they would.

No intruder would harm Eulalia Wrona as long as Moon was watching over her.

---

Aaaaand scene!

If you got this far, holy cow, thanks?? What a kind human you are.

To get ahead of it, Moon is using she/her pronouns for Lala when we get their POV because I personally don't see Fazbear Entertainment being the kind of company that asks for and saves employee preferred pronouns. They're going on their best guess, since they've never had reason to come in contact with someone whose pronouns differed from their gender presentation. Or at least, never had their assumptions corrected at least.

If I wanted to continue this, I could see doing something about them actually hanging out. Like, Moon would hang around the main security office as much as they could, Lala would share their preferred name and pronouns with Moon, and maybe they would try to get Sun involved some?

And obviously, this would all be on the ticking clock of Vanessa's arrival. But that had my brain spinning down more angst pathways than I wanted to go, so I stopped at them all being friends.

In my AU, everyone lives/nobody dies, capiche?

(Also, please ignore any layout inconsistencies. The game maps hurt my brain, and I had already written a big chunk of this before I thought to check what floor the security office was on.)