#I'm mentally back on my bullshit but my body doesn't want to let me act on it and it's infuriating
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tapintorealities · 1 month ago
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Accepting that I am God is... so fun after a childhood of evangelical religious trauma. 😀
The amount of unhealthily self-effacing shit I was fed as a kid...
Stories teaching me to be "meek like Jesus"
To put myself last; we literally sang a song in Sunday School that went "Jesus, then Others, then You - what a wonderful way to spell JOY", implying that the only way to be happy is to consider yourself at the very bottom of this fictional hierarchy... 😑
That "pride cometh before fall"
That if you get too confident in your own ability, "God" will send you a rude awakening to humble you - so watch out!
Just... Complete and utter bullshit that people in power in those religious circles liked to use to keep their followers feeling small and looking to them as a Higher Authority.
So, I realized earlier that accepting my truest state as Creator, as GOD of my own Reality, felt like a huge No No. Like, in the back of my mind, I was telling myself, "be careful, if you keep believing in yourself like this the REAL God will punish you for your hubris".
Bullshit.
I AM the REAL GOD.
I was lied to as a kid. I was told to seek safety, security, power, happiness, love, etc. OUTSIDE of myself. That I would never be Enough on my own. That I was inherently Evil and needed to be Redeemed. That I would suffer if I relied on my own mind and followed my own desires to plan my life instead of surrendering to the Chr*stian "God"'s plan for me. That I had to give up all control to this particular version of a fictional deity, or perish.
Earlier today, I had to reset a password for something official. To affirm and persist in my newfound realization that I AM GOD, I chose a password that I knew would remind me of this.
And immediately, the website started acting up. It wouldn't let me log in. I panicked for a few seconds, worried that I would have to call customer service and tell them my new password and that they'd judge me for it. I feared I was being punished for my "hubris". I was literally shaking like a chihuahua, y'all. I was rehearsing explaining my password as a "joke".
And then I caught myself. "Wait, didn't I just say I AM GOD? Why am I freaking out? I'm in control, here." I reset my browser and logged back in with no problem, after angrily (yet still shakily, tbh) saying, "Who the fuck are you? You're fucking GOD. Act like it! If you wanna be punished for 'getting too cocky', go ahead and manifest that ig, but you don't fucking HAVE to experience that! Decide what you want and OWN IT."
Anyway, I'm still steadying my breath. Banishing trauma and limiting beliefs doesn't have to be hard, but I'm still working with that mentality. I mean... Nah, fuck that, I'm not accepting any shit like that anymore. I'm literally CREATOR of my own experience. Why would I want to experience shitty stuff??!
Posting this because ik I'm not the only one who's struggled to accept our innate power and gain confidence as the Gods of our own experiences.
Give yourself permission to wake up to your Truest Self; to remember that you are ALL THAT IS, that you are both CREATOR & CREATION, and to ACT like it. 👏✨
You will not be punished for owning your power, unless you accept and persist in the [unwarranted] belief that you should be.
Even if you're shaking as you accept and affirm yourself, keep persisting in that identity. Because your Inner Knowing already knows you are GOD; your physical body/brain will catch up soon.
The more you claim your identity as GOD, the more natural it'll feel. Because that IS your natural state.
You get exponentially more confident in your GODHOOD with every breath.
Assume, affirm, and persist.
You got this; You're literally GOD.
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linaselandbasil · 2 years ago
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You Too, Ezarel?
Ezarel/Lance, oral sex, kinda deranged, okay very deranged, hey look nobody's drunk this time!, it's roughly 2000 words, not that long by my standards but I'll make a part 2
Tw: daddy issues, light physical harm (with consent of course)
The fic is below the cut, but here's the link to it on ao3 anyway.
Have fun, everyone!
...
The key turned in the lock.
His back hit the wall, the fright of being shoved so suddenly caused a weird aching feeling in his limbs. He had no reason to be afraid, Lance wouldn't hurt him. Even if the man acted like he didn't care for others, he's still the same as he used to be.
"Take it off." The elf said, referring to the mask. He really doesn't like the dynamic of being seen by him whilst not being able to see him.
"Hmm." He took the mask off and put it on the shelf next to him. "Nice office you have. It's almost as messy as your room." He hovered over the other man, trapping him against the wall.
Ezarel unbuttoned his shirt as he spoke. "As if your job was any more prim." He reached up to hug Lance's neck, which he took as permission- nay, an invitation to touch the elf. He pulled the hem of his shirt out of his pants and reached up his birthmark filled back. "Careful, I have a bugbite." Lance was barely listening, he was busy pulling the fabric off his shoulder with his teeth. Not in a sexy way, more like he was a feral animal pulling on your pantleg.
"I don't need to know about that." He said, hugging Ezarels thin waist and taking his gloves off behind his back. "So, what were do you wanna do tonight?"
"Bend me over my desk... And how about a blowjob?"
"At the same time??"
"No." He was visibly so done with Lance and his bullshit, but the dick is good so he keeps quiet... and if he complains too much Lance might just beat the shit out of him. "What do you want to do?"
"I donno, I'm too mentally unwell to even know what deranged acts would please me." He cupped Ezarels face in his hands and kissed his soft lips. Let me tell you, the guy has his skincare routine on point. Every inch of his body is silky smooth and well moisturized... on the other hand, Lance hasn't bathed in 28 hours and 43 minutes. "One thing is for sure, I want you to remember tonight." He kissed below his ear." Every time you try to sit down." Ezarel gasped, sarcastically of course.
"Oh how scared I am! Have mercy!" He said as the shirt fell off his shoulders. It's cold, his pale hairs stood straight up.
"You say that like it's not true. Your voice is weak, your palms all sweaty. You think I don't notice?" There's vomit on the sweater already, moms spaghetti.
He looked away. "How do you know my palms are sweaty? You can't possibly feel them through the armor!"
"No, but I can see the frikin paw prints you left on my chest! You nasty little bitch, I literally cleaned it yesterday!" He chuckled and slapped the elf on his rather underwhelming stickbug ass.
"Whatever."
"Whatever?" Lance got closer, roughly shoving him into the wall and kissed him. "You're an ass." Ezarel laughed.
"You're calling me an ass? You? After what you've done- what you're doing to your brother, you call me an ass??" Lance looked at him for a few minutes, seething. With each second that passed, Ezarel trembled more and more in anticipation. This happened every time. He can't ignore his hatred towards Lance, even if he adores the man at the same time. They keep bickering, poking at each other like they used to, but with the elephant in the room it always comes to this. "You've got nothing to say, Lance?" The man took a step back from him.
He teared up from the hard slap that landed across his face. The force of it made him fall over, bumping into the shelf. Lance went closer and pulled his hair to make him look up at him before his anger melted away. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry... Can you do it again please?" Ezarel pleaded with polite words. He was breathing fast, he had a big red mark on his left cheek. This happened every time, he played with fire until he got burned. He was on his knees, cowering under the monster he loved to bring out from his dear Lance.
"If you miss your father so much you could just visit him." He yanked him up by his hair and, pulled him close.
"He stopped beating me when I got taller than him." He said, pushing their foreheads together. "That's why I need you." Lance caressed his sore cheek, making him wince. He almost felt guilty that he enjoyed the fear he saw in his emerald eyes. When the elf got a little more comfortable, he shoved him away and slapped him on the other side to match. Ezarel sure loves symmetry. Lance wrapped him in his arms and rocked him back and forth until he once again felt safe. He then pushed him a little further away from the door, towards another blank wall.
Ezarel didn't dare look at him, but if he did, he'd see a satisfied smirk. "On your knees." His legs were already weak, as he lowered himself he nearly collapsed. Lance slowly walked closer. "Look at me." He made sure to step on the bony fingers of the elf. He didn't put his whole weight on it, but the disrespect is still apparent.
"Lance?"
"Hmm?"
"More?" He rolled his eyes.
"What, you think you deserve it? You're having too much fun."
"Don't make me beg." He pulled his hand out from under the shoe and stood up.
"On. Your. Knees." The way Lance was hovering over him was scaring him. In a good way of course, he's been hard since the first slap.
"M-make me." He backed away as he said it, hitting the wall almost immediately. Lance scoffed and grabbed one of his ears to pull him down with. "Nononono wait, please! Ah!"
"Oops, sorry. I made you beg." He smirked when he had the elf back on the ground. "You wanted a blowjob? Go ahead, but keep your hands on the ground." He unbuttoned his pants and whipped it out. Ballsy move, literally.
"Not exactly what I meant..." Eza drew in a deep breath and took the tip in his mouth. Lance pulled him back by his ears, grabbing them at the base. He hissed, but did nothing.
"No, that's rude. Give him a kiss first." Ezarel was sort of pissed for being micro managed like this, but this is exactly what he needed. He wanted a man to replace his father. (Weird, I know. Shut up.) He gave it a kiss right on the tip and opened his mouth to take it back in. He heard the almost inaudible grunt from Lance. It made him feel so accomplished. He went up and down, trying to relax his throat. "Good job." He pulled the elf away. "Undress."
He complied, working his trembling hands as fast as he could. The shirt dropped to the floor without any effort, the pants he had to fiddle with until he managed to unbutton them. He kicked his lab shoes off and he was finally able to rid himself of his pants. The snake yearns for freedom.
"You look like a fork."
"Excuse me?"
"You." He pointed at Ezarel. "Look like a fork."
"I understood what you said!"
"I know, I just wanted you to hear it again."
Ezarel sighed. "Asshole."
"Watch your mouth, chopstick man." Lance grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down, the cold floor doesn't exactly feel great on his bony knees as he sits on them. "Open up."
He obeys, although he'd like another slap. Too bad he can't aggravate the man with his mouth full. His lips touch the *coughs* staff, he relaxes himself as Lance pushes deeper and deeper without mercy. He feels the strong hands caress his head, strangely caring. Chills went down his spine when Lance lightly scratched his scalp. He enjoyed it until he realized that he's being scratched like a dog. "Hmm!"
"Don't like it?" Lance's rough voice had a barely noticeable tremble in it. The elf is happy to know that he's enjoying himself. He tried to free his mouth to answer, but his partner was not having that. He trapped Ezarel between himself and the wall. He can hardly breathe, and Lance knows that for sure. The hand came to rest on top of his head. No more head scratches sadly.
He tried to shake his head to answer. It's pretty hard with his predicament.... Amongst other things that are pretty hard right now. 💀
"No teeth." He pat his blue head a bit harder than necessary. Ezarel groaned and intentionally nipped the skin. Lance was not hesitant to pull him away and slap the shit out of him, the spit that slid down his chin made it sound somewhat different than before. "Behave." Ezarel grinned like the bastard he is. Even with the state that he's in, he still manages to exert just enough control to be an assertive, annoying, way too confident asshole.
His pale face was a little red from slaps and from how intense his previous activities were, his lips had reddened significantly, he has tears In his eyes. He looks beautiful. Lance lovingly tucked his spit soaked hair out of his face and scratches his scalp again. "You don't hit me as hard anymore."
"And you complain about that? Dumbass."
"That first one was good, the rest were weak. Do better." Lance scoffed, grinning down at this idiot.
"You freak. Get back to work." Ezarel looked up at him, seriously contemplating biting him.
"Make me." Lance didn't look at all amused, but believe me he was.
"Bitch." He grabbed the other man's pristine elven likeness and shoved his dick down his throat. Ezarel was used to it but he still choked from the roughness. He held onto Lance's thighs, he needed something to ground himself. "Didn't I tell you? Hands on the floor." When he was done gagging and let go of his thighs, Lance began thrusting into him. He was surprisingly not wrecking the elf. He moaned, which made Ezarel really happy.
He needs male validation, courtesy of his emotionally unavailable father.
"You doing okay?" He stopped for a second, breathing heavy.
"M-hum!" Ezarel answered, looking up at him through tear soaked lashes.
"Good, I'm impressed, you learned this so quickly." Oh boy, Lance KNOWS exactly what he needs! "You still wanna get bent over?" He pushed Ezarel down on his cock until he couldn't breathe. He nodded, fighting his gag reflex. "Well, whatever. I'm nutting now." What a gentleman.
Ezarel hummed, accepting his grim fate. Lance gathered all of his hair in his hand and held his pretty swan neck in the other, he widened his stance like the true warrior he was and began ramming into the poor elf like he was trying to poke a hole into his skull. It was quite enjoyable for Ezarel, he likes the humiliation. Lance moaned as he pressed against his shaft with his tounge, he was seconds away from the finish line.
The elf was trying desperately to not touch Lance, he wanted to so badly. The man slowed down significantly, he could feel the salty mess on his tounge already. Lance pushed at his chin with his thumb to open his mouth, pulled out and jerked. Ezarel stuck his tongue out to welcome the cum. "Hands." He held his palm out. Ezarel reached up and his bony fingers were guided around the shaft. He milked as much out as he could, mouth still agape. Lance's blue eyes were fixed on him, admiring him. "Good boy." He praised.
"Thank you." He said, sounding strange since he hadn't swallowed. After the way he got chewed out last time he swallowed without permission, he didn't dare to do it again.
"Nah, you did great. Don't thank me for what you deserve." He still firmly held his hair. "Swallow." His throat tightened but he forced it down. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and let out a sigh of relief when Lance sat down besides him. It was fun, but it was intense.
"Lance."
"Hm?" Lance leaned into the wall, resting.
"What about me?"
"Eh, in part 2."
Ezarel sighed. "Okay, fair enough."
...
I'd like to SUMMON THE COUNCIL!!!!
@aide-falls @losyashkakus @lumen-anima
And since this is a Lance fic, I would like to invite an honorary guest: @slowiedrakie
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demcnsinmymind · 1 year ago
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character info sheet.
Name. Aza/thoth
Name meaning. Blind idiot god, nuclear chaos, mindless dreamer, the deep dark et cetra
Alias.( ses ). see above, other fun names people have come up with : parasite, darling (that does turn up a lot somehow lmao), Azzy, demonic hitchhiker, little friend. Really. people are so much friendlier these days!
two pictures you like of your character.
okay, this one is a BIG one, since it pretty much started this entire idea.
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I know I shit a lot on the second movie but this scene from it is just outright pivotal on my blog. The way Sean acted this scene, that second where he seems to realize what he's doing and that it's wrong, but then something instantly changes in his body language and he strangles the kid that much harder, followed by him saying 'he made me do it, I'm sorry' - that was the moment the possession idea was born. So in a way, that is a picture of the entity that's messing Collingwood and Lance right up.
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Second one is not really a picture, but a very flashy video. The first minute of Clark's Winter Linn video has always been the visual representation of what I think this thing 'looks' like. No generic tentacle monster bullshit. But a thing that constantly shifts and changes in 'patterns' that don't make an real coherent sense. But picture that on a scale of a freaking galaxy.
three headcanons you never told anyone.
once again, I feel like I've shared sooo many headcanons already lmao
My version of it isn't your typical muhahaha evil. Hell, at times, it might even do something good, like getting rid of its own cult and such. I play entirely into the concept that it is chaos at its most basic and pure and entirely its own thing, doesn't adhere to any religious or natural law or black and white mentality, really. It isn't even that -smart- and cunning either. Don't get me wrong. It'll make your head spin with its sudden shifts in moods and ideas. It is outright scary how utterly unpredictable it is. It is disastrously flipping gi-normous with incredible power. If it bothered to gain all of them back and develop its full potential and everything that its cult wants, I'm talking universe ending OP type of power and knowledge. But the fun part is that it has no interest in that just yet, if ever. Frankly, it finds almighty power and omnipotence quite fucking boring and utterly predictable. All it cares about is mindless consuming and observing and manipulating. It will kill people and destroy things if it feels like it. But given its psychotic obsessions and the likes, it actually is fairly chill for the most part. Truth be told, it kinda enjoys snacking on powerful villians and evil peops/supernaturals more than your run at the mill normal human 9-5ers, no matter how many of them are really out there. Why go for bulk fast food when you can enjoy a lil well done gourmet diner you get handed in a very secret shady celebrity restaurant?
Once again cannot overstate enough how freaking obsessed this thing is with Lance. Jealous and clingy to the absolute fucking max. I go back and forth on how it'll handle his eventual death. Sometimes I like to think that it 'cares' about him so much it might just let him pass naturally eventually, really let him go so he can be at peace one day. But more and more, I come to the conclusion that it won't. It eventually will try to find a way to literally keep him forever. I'm talking, he gets taken out by a bullet or something, it'll bring him back. And it'll keep bring him back over and over again until there's nothing left to be brought back. That, or it'll go the vampire route with him in the verses I have for that. Meaning that it'll force some vamp to turn him for it so he'll be immortal and stay with it forever.
I just find it generally very interesting how they tick. I make it a big point that this possession isn't forceful or like your typical uncomfortable imprisoned in your own body type of deal. Eventually, it's almost elegant and respectful in a few ways, and obv very tight regardless. It is talking to him all the time. Comments on everything, constantly suggests things or makes fun of them. But it will respect his autonomy and privacy many times as well if he wants for it to be so. Eventually, he'll reluctantly turn it into a two way street and start talking to it a lot more as well, even ask it for its take on things since it knowing literally every last thing he does with the addition of its 'outside' perspectives can paint a pretty fucking accurate and scary picture. That's the point where the lines start blurring and they distort each other. In a way, it's scary how natural it all seems and how well this dance of theirs is choreographed. For the most part, it's because it's genuinely fascinated by the way he ticks and thinks, and because he produces so many struggles and doubts and emotions all by himself. It just has to lean back and enjoy the show. Or he gets to lean back and let it handle the shitty/risky situations without having to fear for his life anymore.
three things your character likes to do in their free time.
people watching 2. talking to people 3. reading. people's minds and the likes. or books. maybe a diary or two.
three people your character loves.
THE BOY
that's it. there are no three people.
two things your character regrets.
1. not stopping the lobotomy. Don't get it wrong, that level of fear and insanity was one of the biggest feasts to date. But the thing is - now that it's with him and ever so obsessed, no matter how much of a constant and easy food supply his trauma from that really is - it doesn't want as much of a scratch on him. It doesn't want him in physical pain. And if you ever get it started on the fact that he almost died on that table and that they almost ruined everything with that. If it wasn't for the fact that that attack and ritual was what made the possession possible, what made him able to host it, then it would absolutely undo that one.
2. Any time it's decided to let him talk to someone for longer than necessary, and where that results in him caring about those people, those caring about him, and them putting doubts in his head about his relationship with it. It's constantly and awkwardly trying to find the right balance between making him happy and getting him to like it more because of that, and keeping him from being too happy and interested in other people than itself.
three phobia's your character has.
losing the boy
that's it. Other than that it eats fear for fucking breakfast.
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drunk-teapot · 1 year ago
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"Yo, Reigen!"
"Ekubo."
"Why the long face? Aren't you happy to see me, your friendly spirit?"
"I certainly haven't seen you for a few weeks or more."
"Exactly! You should be delighted to be graced by my presence again!"
"Ah, 'graced'. I thought the Mob had set you straight and you had stopped your brainwashing act. That shit doesn't even work on me anyways. You would remember that if you were around more. I can smell your bullshit a mile away; you can't butter me up like that".
"Oh, somebody's in a bad mood~ I’ll cut the chase for you. I need you to come with me-"
"Not gonna happen."
"Shush, I'm not finished yet. So, I need your body to go on a date with Yoshioka."
"What? You want to use me as a vessel for what? Come again?"
"I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time I said that. Or are you finally in need of a check-up of your ears?"
"Oh, no. I heard you quite clearly. And I have no idea why you think I would agree to this."
"As far as I remember, you and I are friends~"
"Oh, so we are friends now? How generous to come out of the blue once you need me."
"You consider me your friend, and true friendship doesn't have a time frame! It also means that you ought to give me what I ask of you."
"Oh no, for it to work it should be mutual and I ask the same of you. Besides, I can refuse! So, without further ado, I refuse."
"You seem to enjoy it? What makes you think you have a choice?"
"You are asking me to do this, so it is logical that you need my permission."
"Perhaps, I wanted to be generous and let you join in the action? Reigen, Reigen, don't we both know that if I wanted you to, you would be forced to crawl at my feet already."
"Ha, so you don't want to do it that way! Whatever the reason, you need me to be an active participant, or at least a willing one! Why? What do I have that you can't get from any of the other vessels you've had before? Why are you asking me, even though you know I won't be coming aboard right away?"
"I really don't understand why you don't come aboard right away. Aren't you always lonely? This is a solution for both of us..."
"I am not lonely! If you were around more you would know that! So I don't see any benefit for me here! It's your problem that you can't solve yourself, be it your inability to be honest with Mamoru or other stupid complexes, but don't you dare involve me in your stupid plans! I don't care about him and I definitely don't care about you!"
"Hey! What's got you so worked up?"
"Go away, Dimple. Find someone else to bother, I already told you I am not into your threesome nonsense".
"You won't even be there! Well, not mentally or whatever, I can make you fall asleep, one moment you're here and the next you're here again or wherever you want to be!"
"And I want to be here, all the time. Sitting in this chair, watching this television, and being at peace".
"Exactly, you don't want to do anything useful, so why don't you help your friend?"
"You're so hung up on the 'friendship' act that it sounds pathetic! You don't need a friend for your romantic endeavors! Go and find someone else, you haven't had this problem before! Why do you insist on doing this, for God's sake? Before you touched me or Mob without a body, what stops you from doing the same to  Yoshioka? You've already lived in his skin, a different body won't change anything for you."
"Why should I explain my reasons to you? It is not as if you can understand them when we are the same! Not that we are the same, you are a puny human and I am an almighty entity!"
"I would doubt that last part, as you are mostly attached to the hip – or to the head - of a high school student."
"You are insufferable."
"Didn't you say we're the same?"
"I said you can't compare the almighty ghost with your pathetic self! I regret every moment I wasted on you and every time I saved your life."
"Well, you can't take that back. Live with it. Oh! Wait! Be dead with it."
"You could be more grateful for a change!"
"Or not. You decided to do it yourself because you wanted to help Mob. And me, I hope. Listen. You've been missing for three weeks, and all I knew about you was that Mob wasn't too worried about you, and that Tome had seen you in town sometimes. Suddenly you have decided that I am worth enough to be invited to your honeymoon. Even for you, this is a new low."
"..."
"..."
"I… got caught a moment."
"Good for you. At least say hello to the boy. He misses you."
"Okay."
"Bye, Ekubo."
"You know what. I see you in a couple of hours. I want to discuss some things."
"With pleasure. Down for a drink?"
"No. I think today I'll watch some stupid films with you, like you usually do."
"I could find other hobbies!"
"Sure, you burn through them pretty fast, too, but watching chick flicks is what you always do."
"Action films!"
"If you say so."
"Go away!"
It was an experiment to write a-spec characters and to convey their emotions only through speech. Did I succeed?
some notes about this thing
Ekubo: ace/demi-sexual (he needs Rei who he closely knows to get close to mamoru but not only in a sexual way)
Reigen: ace/slightly sex-repulsive// demi-romantic
English isn't my native language. If there are any major mistakes, please, correct me.
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kpop---scenarios · 3 years ago
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Cravings || One
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Pairing: Vampire! Hongjoong x Reader
Warning: None Yet
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: If you would like to be tagged, let me know!
"Babe, hey babe." Your boyfriend, Chad calls out to you, as you're sitting at the kitchen table, running over over bills again and trying to figure out how the fuck you're going to try to pay everything. You worked damn hard, and barely had anything to show for it. Ever since Chad had moved in a few months ago, without an invitation, you were stressed. Everything had gone up and doubled since he hadn't left, and he also hadn't contributed anything financially towards the household. You paid for rent, utilities, groceries and you even paid when the two of you went out for dinner. Chad worked full time, but where his money was going, you had no fucking idea. He constantly went out with his 'boys' , often coming home obliterated, and just expecting you to have your legs spread open for him when he rolled in, apparently that was your duty as his girlfriend, according to him. As if not contributing and acting like a man child was such a turn on. Not to mention the countless hours he spent on your gaming console, yelling and talking to his friends, leaving you no time to play any games that you like, unless you wanted to wake up a few hours before you had to work to sneak on it. But by the time you got home from work, cleaned up the messes he made throughout the day, made yourself dinner, showered and got into your PJ'S, you were too damn tired to do anything. You knew you had to wake up the next day and do it all over again, so any sleep you got was precious. 
A part of you often wondered why you were in this relationship with him. Maybe you were scared to be alone, maybe you didn't think you could do any better than him, but you stuck with him, because for some reason, you loved the guy. 
"What do you want, Chad?" You sigh, walking into the living room where he's sprawled out on the couch, headset on and his match paused. "I'm trying to figure out bills, you know that thing that keeps us warm, and with light and hot water, that you said you'd help pay and haven't." 
"Yeah, babe, can you go to the corner store and get those Takis, you know the ones I like? The not so spicy ones though babe, cause remember I have acid reflux, and a diet coke." He says, turning back to the screen, laughing at something said through his head phones. 
You could feel the rage building up inside of you, awfully quick, and it was seeping out of you even quicker.
"Are you going to pay for said snacks?" You ask, trying to keep your voice calm. 
"What?" He laughs. "Babe, no, come on. I'm broke. I don't get paid again for two weeks. You know this." 
"You just got paid yesterday." You breathe through gritted teeth. "Where the hell did all your money go?" You ask, your hands balled into fists. 
"You know babe, I had the fantasy football league entry, plus I owed Kyle money for the keg bomber last weekend, and I took the boys out for supper yesterday. Shit adds up." He says, never looking at you, only focusing on the game. 
"And that's my problem, why exactly? Why is it always on me just because you're not financially stable. Grow up, you're 35 for christ sakes!" You yell. You stomp to the kitchen, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes before heading back into the living room. 
"Yeah, she's got her shoes and purse." He laughs. "She's definitely going to get my stuff." 
"You know what Chad? I'm definitely not going to get your snacks, get your own fucking snacks, Chaaad. I'm going for a drink, with my own goddamn money." You spit, storming out of the house. 
You're wandering down the street, like you had been for the last thirty five minutes, and finally you found somewhere that looked decent enough. You walk in, and the lights are on very low, the place is almost dark, had it not been for the red lights swinging above tables, or the string of red lights wrapping around the ceiling. Your eyes wander the open floor of seating as a soft beat vibrates through the building. Every person in here who was sitting with someone was leaning closely to that person, seemingly having an intense conversation. The vibes felt dark and eerie, but you welcomed it, you enjoyed it instead of being around Chad's fuck boy mentality. You walk towards the bar, sliding onto one of the empty bar stools and setting your purse on your lap. Your eyes were looking down when you felt a presence standing in front of you. You look up and see quite possibly the most beautiful man you have ever seen. 
"What can I get for you?" He asks, his voice is deep, yet so smooth and calming.
"Double vodka and coke please, and for the love of god, keep them coming." You sigh. After your comment you see the slightest hint of a smile appear on his lips, disappearing even quicker than it came. 
"Bad day?" He asks, beginning to pour your drink. 
"Bad relationship." You groan. He nods his head as he slides your drink towards you. 
"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, leaning on the bar with his chin resting on his hands as he waits for you to speak. You look into his eyes, and they're so warm and mesmerizing, you felt safe and secure, like you could tell him anything. Which is exactly what you did.
"What's your name?" You ask. 
"Hongjoong." He replies. "You?" 
"Y/N." 
"Okay Y/N, what's bothering you?" 
"My boyfriend, we've been together for just over a year, and well.. he's something, and not the good something like people usually say. He moved in with me, without even asking me if I wanted to, and I just kind of accepted it. He doesn't pay anything, no bills, rent, groceries, nothing. It's all on me, even though he does work full time. He forgot my birthday, went out and got absolutely plastered with his 'boys'. On Valentine's Day, he took me out for dinner, and can you guess who was there?" You ask. 
"His boys?" He answered. 
"You sir, are correct. I was ignored the entire evening, and then he and his boys left, I ended up paying the bill, and I had to uber home because he had driven us there. Not to mention the fact that he assumes I'm just there for his pleasure, expecting me to be spread eagle for him whenever he decides to show up." You finish, chugging your drink as you try not to gag on the strong taste of vodka. 
"Why are you with him then? He doesn't sound like he contributes to the relationship at all, so why do you stay?" He asks. 
'Honestly, I'm not entirely sure." You answer as he slides another drink in front of you.
"Now that's a bullshit excuse." He replies. "There's a reason that you clearly don't want to admit." 
"Do you ever smile?" You ask him. 
"No." He answers. "Now, why won't you leave him?" 
"Because it's safe, I guess? I don't know if I can do any better than him." You shrug. 
"Y/N, you have no idea how much better you could do." He says. 
** 
From the moment Hongjoong had a whiff of the scent that was coming into his bar, he knew that it was the scent of the one. He intensely watched the door, waiting for the one it belonged too to walk through the door. As soon as you did, it was almost as though his heart could have started beating once again, the ice cold blood that ran through his body could have turned warm just by the sight of you. He isn't sure what it is about you, but he had always been told that he would know when he found the one, and having been alive for over a century, he had just assumed that it wasn't in the cards for him, and now he knows why. Because all his life he had been waiting for you. The person that he would do anything for, the person that he would be anything for had finally walked into his life, and for once he felt an ounce of hope, until, you had mentioned the filthy human you were in a relationship with, not to mention one that treated you like absolute garage, and you had assumed that no one better would love you, but shit were you ever wrong. He was standing right in front of you, and though you had just met him, he loved you with everything he had and would do anything and everything to protect you. 
**
"I appreciate your advice, Hongjoong, but it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow." You sigh. "How much do I owe you?" You ask, grabbing your card from your wallet. 
"It's on me." He tells you, grabbing your empty glass.
"Well thank you." You smile. "It was nice meeting you." You tell him as you slide off the stool. 
"You too." He says, watching you walk away from him. 
That night when you got home, you couldn't get Hongjoong off your mind, a smile spread across your face as you walked through your front door, and headed into the living room, then it instantly dropped. Chad had not moved from the spot you had previously left him in a few hours ago. "Oh, babe." He says, sucking the cheeto dust from his fingers. "Kyle brought me some snacks, since you threw a huge temper tantrum about my snacks, you can just venmo or cash app him, k?" He says, going back to playing his game. 
You went to bed that night, dreaming of one man, who was not your man. 
**
Over the next few weeks, you had absolutely no desire to be at home. So you headed to the bar that Hongjoong worked at, everyday after work for a drink, or two, or four. In those weeks the two of you spent an ample amount of time getting to know each other, you were sure he knew you better than Chad ever did.  You didn't want to see Chad, you didn't want to be near him and it was bad enough that he constantly texted you throughout the day, sending you lists of things to buy from the grocery store, as if he wasn't able to do it himself. But much to your surprise, he didn't text you when you never came home with his snacks, he didn't check in with you throughout the day, and honestly it no longer bothered you. 
You felt your feelings for Hongjoong deepen with every encounter the two of you had, every time you saw him it was like nothing you had ever felt with Chad, your emotions were amplified around Hongjoong and you weren't sure how much longer you could keep them hidden. 
"One more." You tell Hongjoong, as you set down your fourth glass. 
You can tell he wants to smile, but he's too good at controlling his emotions. "You've had enough, I'm cutting you off." He tells you. 
You pout, trying to give him your best puppy dog eyes, but absolutely nothing got to the man and it was frustrating as fuck. 
"A bad storm is coming, you should probably get home." He tells you, drying off some glasses. 
"I don't want to go home, he's there." You scoff, just thinking about Chad made you want to vomit. "I guess I could just get a motel room, at that place across the street." You say, pointing over to the run down motel, that had flickering lights, and probably a rat and cockroach infestation. 
"You will do no such thing." Hongjoong replies. "You can stay at my place." He says. "Give me a minute." He walks from around the bar, towards the back of the building, and you can't help but to turn in your stool and watch him walk away, damn he looks good. 
Within seconds he's back, grabbing your bag and scooping you up into his arms as he effortlessly carries you out the door. 
"I can walk." You object. 
"I know." He says, his face stone cold. 
"You're very pale." You tell him, as if he didn't know. 
"I know." He replies, unlocking the door to his car. 
"And you're very cold." You say. 
He sighs. "I know." He finishes as he slides you into the passenger seat of his car. 
As soon as he started his car, the rain began pouring as thunder and lightning jolted the sky. 
"You were right, there's a storm." You say, watching out your window. 
"I know." He replies, this time it sounded different. You turned to look at him, hoping you'd catch him smiling but no such luck. 
He continues driving, taking you out into the middle of nowhere, out of city limits, this was it, this was probably when you died. You panicked slightly but you felt it in your entire body that he was not going to murder you, at least not that night. 
Hongjoong pulls up to a gate, punching in a few numbers to open the gate, which just blocked off a winding road. You squinted as you tried to see where you were going but it was far too dark for you to see anything, until you pulled up to a beautiful mid-century mansion that made your mouth drop. It was absolutely stunning and you couldn't believe that he lived there. 
"Seriously? This is where you live?" You say. 
"MY family, but yeah." He answers, parking the car near the entrance. 
He hops out of his seat, walking towards your side to open the door for you, pulling you inside before you get too wet. He dragged you up a large flight of stairs, not letting you admire the inside of his house. He put you inside a large room, with a large bed and a bathroom ensuite. "There's towels if you want to shower, I'll be back in a bit to check on you." He says, avoiding all eye contact before walking out of the room. 
You let out a deep breath as you take off your heels, unbutton your pants and unhook your bra, placing it all next to the bed. You sit down on the bed in your underwear and t-shirt, wondering what to do, until your phone rings. 
Looking at the caller ID, you didn't want to answer it, but you felt it would be unfair for you to do so. 
"Hello?" You answer. 
"Hey babe, it's me.. it's Chad." He says. 
"I know who it is." You sigh. 
"Look.. I know you've been terrible, oh, wait, I mean I've been terrible in our relationship lately but I want to make almonds." He says. "No idiot, it's amends." You hear from the background. 
"Are you kidding me right now? Do you seriously have Brad over to help you?" You yell. 
"Well yeah, he noticed that we were drifting apart and offered to help me get you back." Chad explains. 
You get up off the bed, pacing on the hardwood floors as you tried to process what he just said to you. 
"The fact that you didn't even notice that we were drifting apart is all that I need to hear. You know what, Chad? I'm done. I'm done with this relationship, I'm done with you. Just get out of my apartment, I'm over it." You yell, hanging up the phone. 
You stand there, taking deep breaths as you replay the conversation you just had, he didn't even care enough to notice that you'd been pulling away. That kind of hurt, but then again it was Chad. He was never very perceptive. 
A knock at the door before it suddenly opens, reveals Hongjoong, walking into the room. He tried to play it cool with the fact that you were practically naked in front of it. 
"I heard yelling. You okay?" He asks as lightning strikes, causing the power to flicker. 
"Chad called, he had his friend Brad over to feed him lines because Brad noticed we were drifting apart." You explain. "But I did it. I ended things." You proudly admit. 
"Good for you." He says, staring at you, while you stare back at him. A crack of thunder hits loudly, making you jump, and within seconds Hongjoong's arms are wrapped around you, like he was protecting you. You look at him and he looks at you, and before you can tell yourself not to, your lips are pressed against him, and he is kissing you back. 
The kiss turns passionate and needy in seconds, both of your desires for one another coming out without any control. He moves you both to the bed, laying you down as he hovers over you, his strong arms keeping him above you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to yours, feeling him near was all you'd wanted. His ice cold fingers touch your stomach as he begins to lift your shirt up, you can feel his cock slowly becoming harder. You begin lifting his shirt, when his phone rings. He stands up, whispering an apology before answering his phone, barely speaking any words. 
"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I have some things to take care of." He says. 
"Oh, yeah, no problem." You say, sitting on the edge of the bed. 
"Get some sleep." He tells you before walking out of the bedroom door, leaving you alone once again. 
You tried to fight the exhaustion you felt, but it was far too hard. You got snuggled underneath the blankets, watching the door, hoping he would come back but your eyelids got too heavy for you to keep open, and you swiftly drifted off to sleep, finally feeling some peace. 
**
The warm sun was shining into the room, waking you up. You let out a little stretch before opening your eyes, only to see five men standing around you. You sit up, moving to the wall, as these men stare at you. You looked at them all, and they all looked similar to Hongjoong. Pale skin, dark eyes, dark head, blood red lips. 
"Who are you?" One of them asks. 
"Y/N." You whisper. 
Another one speaks up, looking at the other four men. "Who the fuck brought a human home?" 
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harringrovsonsworld · 2 years ago
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So I mentioned it in another post but who wants to hear my horrific angst for aus or season 5? No one? TS this is my blog
Long post under the cut
Ok so my thought is very much around how vecna has his victims lined up as trophies in his mindscape. They can't JUST be trophies right? Vecna is a loon but he's too pragmatic to be so vain. They must serve a purpose. He needed 4 of them to open the gates so they must have some significance that his other victims don't.
Which brings me to my theory. Vecna needs his s4 victims to power the gates, like uh totems or human battery packs, that's why he needs them close to hand in his mind and not buried in some forgotten hole like the ones he killed in the lab. So he can keep them trapped in bad memories, keep tormenting them so their misery keeps the gates open. That's why he tormented them first. We know from Kali fear and anger are powerful emotions but from el and Mike we know love is stronger. Henry doesn't understand love, so he's basically using scare power like he's in monsters inc.
SO HERE IS MY HIDIOUS ANGST IF THAT WASNT BAD ENOUGH
Once vecna opens the gates, he's got his first set of 4 victims powering them, but it's not enough. We know El has a longer range wither her powers and even she needed to piggy back on max to reach him. My idea is that to keep his influence spreading he needs to piggy back on others too, more victims to act as human relays. Think some sort of torture based radio tower or the shield of Morty suffering from Rick and Morty.
My idea is that he has people sort of strung up to towers made of flesh like the mind flayer, being kept alive and 'protected' by demogorgons like Will with the tube down his throat in season 1. Vecna is using their nightmares, their mental scapes as pitstops for his abilites. Jump from the upside down where he's safe ,like the creel house scene, into their mind scapes and from then onto whoever he wants.
Next question is, who would he choose as victims? Well I'm glad you asked:
Eddie(maybe)
disclaimer, im more on the side of kas eddie than this but lets just run with it.
Fairly self explanatory, Eddie was a choice of convenience, there's a person, might as well use them. Dying in the upside down, vecna is sure he'd agree to anything to live. Imagine his suprise when Eddie pulls a fuck you and fuck your plan too out of his flack jacket. Now vecna is determined to keep him alive out of spite. If he'd just been good and done as vecna asked maybe he'd give a nice dream to his little human relay but no, now Eddie gets to watch Chrissy and Dustin die over and over until vecnas finally done with him or his body gives out under the strain. i guess if u wanted kas eddie, this could be punishment from vecna for disobeying him . maybe doesnt have the same effect since kas eddie is already dead but hey ho its still not pleasant.
Jason
I think Jason's death was bullshit. Not in the way Eddie's, bobs, or Billy's was bullshit but bullshit all the same. So I'm bringing him back in the worst fuckin way possible. the gate opening doesnt rip him in half so much as it swallows him whole. he lands face first in the upside down creel house just in time to miss steve nancy and robin leaving. hes hurt, thats no short fall he just had so hes kinda stuck there. obviously when hes done licking his wounds vecna comes home and finds him. Jason has zero fucking clue what's going on in Hawkins so for him to be strung up and tortured by vecna just has so many layers to it. Jason would think he'd died and gone to hell and that's a whole new kind of angst for me to work with. Vecna wouldn't even need to make him hallucinate to get the kind of suffering he needs to boost his powers. Just keep him awake and watching and Jason would be out of his mind in minutes. Bonus points for any body horror he might bring to the table: vecna has those vines in his back , maybe he could put some in Jason and turn him into a human security system with tendrils and eyes all over Hawkins. Forces Jason to watch the horror unfold AND when Jason inevitably reacts to the party, cries out to lucas or his friends to help him, vecna will know instantly.
Billy
Ok we know for a fact that billy is still around in vecnas head somewhere. See my other post for proof. Tldr billy is the only hallucination who seems to have real eyes or a soul and consciousness. Susan's eyes go white, Chrissy's moms eyes go white, freds accusers eyes are all white. The reason Billy's aren't is BC vecna has him, he can use the real billy in the hallucination to torment max. I imagine the reason he does this is 2 fold. To scare max yes but moreso to punish billy for daring to stand up to him, for beating his mind games in season 3. When max is in a coma neither vecna or el can reach her, she's safe. So what does vecna do? Take his frustration out on billy by forcing him to help spread the upside down around Hawkins. I see this 1 of two ways.
1. Billy has give up. He is too broken, he doesn't care what happens to him, to Hawkins, to anyone, even max. He is just too exhausted and can't bring himself to fight when he suddenly finds he has a body again. It just means more pain and he just cant take it anymore. i do love me some angst but i think this is a little ooc for Billy.
Or
2.Billy is too tough for vecna to break. He tried it once and it didn't work and all its done is pissed Bills off. Billy is fucking mad so there's no sense in trying to hallucinate him into compliance because hes already gazed into the abyss and spat in its face with the double middle finger salute. Further more, billy doesn't give a fuck about Hawkins, so making him watch shit hit the fan doesnt work either. But what does work, is threatening max. She's the only thing he gives a fuck about and he can't help her like this. "Do as I say and I won't touch her." Vecna says "you could run but you'll never get to her before I do" the noodly bastard is lying through his teeth and praying billy doesnt call his bluff. Nancy did a number on him, his brisk walking days are over. He's just praying billy doesn't find out max is in a coma and essentially untouchable in everything but the physical sense. So billy complies, for now, plotting to grind vecnas face into the concrete with his boot heel. He'll behave for now.
For max.
And since we need 4 I've got 2 choices.
First one is Nancy. Not that I don't love Nancy, even despite her flaws, i still canon that Karen wheeler is Alice creel which would make Henry, Nancy and mike's uncle. There has to be some reason why he picked her to show those visions to. Also I want to see Jonathan robin and Steve panicking BC Nancy is the only one holding the braincell and they all love her deeply. Bonus points if they get half way though saving her and she walks past having saved herself. insert i fear no man but that thing scares me meme of vecna with nancy.
Second one might lose more people but
You know how stranger things is inspired by silent hill? I think the last relay tower human/ victim should be Henry. Or at least, some part of the original Henry creel.
Think about it. Silent hills Alessa separated herself into "dark" and " light" sides. Og alessa stayed in the otherworld/ upside down and Cheryl/heather escaped. No powers but free from the darkness of alessas mind and the other world .why wouldn't vecna try that if he could? He's got trauma, he's got weakness, he may not look human anymore but hes still fallible . imagine if he found out he could just split himself down the middle and send that weak half packing some place else? become the apex predator he clearly wants to be? he'd jump at the chance...well, hobble at the chance. id like to see vecna treat this "weak" part of himself terribly. 'henry' gets the worst treatment from vecna and its just delicious angst and self loathing.
side note i had a thought about vecna using 'henry' as a human blood pouch for vampire eddie. henry using his 'talk to kids in the lab' voice to try and keep eddie calm, eddies sobbing and apologising as he drinks from henry but hes so hungry and in pain and has no control over it, henry just telling him its ok even though its agony.its nearly whumptober lads no one can stop me.
i am a sick and twisted individual. i may rewrite this thought into an actual fic with mungrove or munver, havent decided yet.
so yes, there are all my thoughts tm . i need a nap, maybe if i daydream up anymore suffering for my favorites ill let you all know
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brownflower23 · 4 years ago
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Not My Father
Aaron Hotchner x Reader
*Mature Content Warning*
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Summary: Reader gets arrested at a bar. Her boss comes to save her, but after months of frustration she doesn't get the response she expects. However, she receives much more than she can handle. 
"That pervert is lucky all I did was break his nose" You roll your eyes at officer idiot questioning you. Treating you as some sort of criminal, when in actuality you put the worst of criminals away. "Well we called your supervisor; you can take it up with him" The officer snickered, a lump instantly formed in your throat.
"You called who?" You yell at the dumbstruck officer in front of you, clearly not expecting your panicked response. Just after the words left your mouth, your boss crossed the barrier into the holding room. Your stomach instantly flipped, as if you had been caught by a parent as a child. Your eyes meeting his; he stared with the same scolding glare you were expecting. The same look you'd seen many times; it always gave you chills. However, you had never been the one sitting on this side of the table feeling its full force. He folded his arms tightly over his broad chest, eyes lingering at the cuffs connected to your wrist.
At that moment, you couldn't find words to defend what he was seeing, you could only imagine his thoughts. Your barely appropriate dress, your makeup, unlike anything he had seen at work. He finally peeled his eyes off of you, somehow that making you feel even worse.
"Please remove the cuffs, I can handle it from here. Thank you again for the call." Hotch finally spoke, but only to the officer, nodding to him. He returned the nod and quickly walked over removing your restraints.
"Thanks." You gripped at the idiot who arrested you, rolling your eyes at him again. Hotch shot you a warning glare, causing you to sigh while massaging your wrists. This night was utter bullshit. The officer finally left the room, you stood expecting to follow.
"Where do you think you're going?" His stern voice forcing your body to freeze, sending chills down your entire spine. "Um, I thought I was allowed to leave." You replied without looking directly at him, you didn't think you could handle it right now. "You have nothing to say for yourself?" Hotch scoffed.
"I'm sorry?" You questioned, failing to sound sincere. He doesn't respond this time, after an uncomfortable moment of silence you finally looked to meet his stare. He let out a frustrated sigh "Let's go. Before I change my mind." He cautions before leading us through the police station, again thanking the captain and same officer.
"Where is my car?" You ask once outside after you were returned your phone and I.D. "I'm guessing still at the bar you were picked up at, or by now at a towing company. You can deal with that in the morning, get in." He answers not stopping his strides toward the black SUV. You hurry to enter, afraid he might leave you here, the cool night air sending additional chills over your body, still buzzing from earlier.
The ride has an eerie silence, you had never made Hotch this mad at you, the feeling honestly made you want to hurl. You notice you aren't familiar with the street signs you were passing. "Can I ask where we are going?" You break the silence. "My place." He answers blankly, not removing his attention from the road. "Why?" You dare to question. "Because it is late, and you were picked up from a bar." He shot back gripping the steering wheel tighter, not seeming to give you another option.
After ten more agonizing minutes, he finally pulls into a parking garage. You quickly jump out of the car, following Hotch through a few hallways. You felt a wave of awkwardness once he finally stopped at the door. He quickly unlocked it and opened the door for you. You look at the open door, feeling like it was a threshold you shouldn't enter.
"Look I'm fine, I can call a cab to take me to my car." You insist, still not crossing the threshold. "No. You shouldn't be driving, you can stay here." He replied like it was an order. "We aren't at work." You spat not believing him. "Lower your voice, your yelling will wake others." He corrected you again, you noticing the clenching of his jaw. You groaned pushing past him into the apartment.
"Look I appreciate this but.." you start to continue your previous argument but his deep voice cuts you off. "You're correct agent, we are not at work. Meaning, that I did not have to leave my home in the middle of the night, coming to save you from being thrown in jail. You're lucky Jack is away or you would've been there until Monday." He chastised you again, but this time he was right. Although; still being a dick to you of all people.
"I didn't ask you to, I didn't even tell them I was an agent so don't try to make me feel guilty." You plead your case as he began to walk away. "I'm not trying to make you feel anything, maybe if you had more control of your actions you wouldn't be in this situation." He argues turning back in your direction. You finally noticed his different appearance, no jacket or tie, but jeans with an athletic shirt, his hair not styled but falling casually onto his face.
"I don't even want to be in this situation, I'll just go to my car." You huff turning back walking to the door. You just reached the handle, when a large hand came in your line of sight, pushing against the door.
"I'm not letting you leave like this. I don't know your mental state." You hear spoken close behind you. You spin on your heels, slightly taken back by how close your boss was to you. "I promise I'm fine. I wasn't drunk, and it's been hours." You roll your eyes again. "Obviously not, I have never seen you act like this." His voice was desperately trying to hide his frustration with you for the evening, you could see his chest rising against the fitted shirt.
"What? Not perfectly following your orders? Not everyone is perfect like you Hotch." You were yelling at this point, and you didn't care. You had never seen a person with more patience and composure than Hotch, but you finally broke him. "You allegedly assaulted someone at a bar drunk, get arrested, risk your career, the reputation of the BAU, and my credibility as Supervisor. You honestly think you should go back out right now?" He yelled back shocking you, feeling his minty breath fan across your face.
"You don't even know my side of the story!" You gasp at his assumptions. "How am I supposed to when you wouldn't tell me?" He hisses, still holding his same position, you had never seen such fire in his eyes.
"You are not my fucking father Hotch" You yell again, refusing to let him overpower you.
Your back hit the door with a thud, causing you to groan into his mouth. His hands gripping onto your hips roughly, pulling your bodies as close as possible. One of your hands latching his shoulder to steady yourself, while your other tugged at his soft hair.
"Then stop being a damn brat" He all out growls directly in your face, not missing a beat. Your not sure who moves first, you honestly think it was instantaneous, but before you blinked your mouths clash desperately, hands frantically grasping onto wherever you could reach first.
You purposely tugged harder, retrieving a groan from him, hearing it igniting a hunger in you. His lips slightly parted, so you took advantage sliding your tongue over his, still determined not to be overpowered.
Your control is short-lived, as he shifts his leg up, making you gasp at the contact, your head craning against the cold door. Even on your tiptoes, you couldn't relieve the pressure, perching you upon his thick thigh, causing your dress to bunch leaving only your damp underwear as a barrier.
"Did you think after your little game, I'd let you control me, sweetheart?" He huffs against your ear, in an even deeper tone than he usually held. You had never been affected by a pet name, but just coming from him made your walls clench, further agonizing you. You finally open your eyes, batting up at his dark eyes innocently. "I don't know what you mean" you smirk. You felt a low chuckle in his chest, and then you were swiftly moved, flipping you to face the door.
"I'm having a hard time believing that y/n. You've spent months purposely teasing and frustrating me. This..." he pauses his sentence, using his foot to spread your ankles, gripping your wrist together. "Is exactly what you wanted correct?" He completes the question as a whisper against your ear, making you shutter against him. You weren't giving in that easy.
"I honestly didn't think you had it in you...old man." You further push him, knowing your slight age difference being one of the things you regularly tease him about. He groans lowly at your words, pushing you harder against the door. "I still remember exactly how to handle a brat like you"
He punctuates the end of his sentence by effortlessly ripping your thin underwear from under your skirt, throwing the torn fabric to the floor. You shook at the cool air hitting your core, finally noticing how wet you were. His fingers brush over your center, gently spreading your arousal. You bite your lip to keep in the moans your body desperately want to release.
"Then why are you so wet for me sweetheart, hum?" Hotch hums in your ear, pushing his thick finger slowly into your pussy. You don't bother trying to hold in your moans this time, overwhelmed by the feeling of your muscles clenching around this finger, attempting to take it as deep as possible.
As if a single finger wasn't enough, he added a second stretching you delightfully. You scratch against his hand, as if some sort of plea, but the last thing you wanted was for him to stop as you could feel the pleasure building in your stomach. "Something wrong?" He coos arrogantly, watching your face morphing, as your pants of pleasure increase.
"Nothing" You manage to smart back without it sounding completely of a moan. By this point, you drenched his fingers, coating them entirely, letting him fuck his fingers into you as fast as he pleased. You hear a faint growl come deep from Hotch's chest, almost sounding frustrated. "Don't you lie to me; If you are not honest you don't get what you want sweetheart" "And what do I want?" You laugh through a heavy breath.
He shifts an unoccupied finger up to graze your clit every time his fingers plunge into you, making you gasp against the cold door. He leans down to your neck, tickling your skin with his beard. "To be fucked like you wish those boys you entertain would fuck you." Hearing your boss talk like that sends you spiraling, throwing your head back onto his chest to support you as your legs began to feel weak. Just as you clench around his fingers he retracts them, leaving you dripping down your thigh, craving satisfaction.
"What the fuck?" You yell spinning quickly to face him, he catches you by the neck placing you against the door again. Your breath caught, you felt like you didn't have a voice with his large hand around your throat. The way he was staring at you, like his prey. It made your knees weak.
He lifts his other hand between your bodies, you could see his middle fingers glistening. He keeps his eyes nailed to yours, you still trying to calm your pathetic pants. Your mouth gapes as you watch him take the fingers in his mouth, he groans out twirling his tongue, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment savoring your taste. You were fucked.
He removes his fingers slowly, still watching you staring at him with big doe eyes. Then wiping the edge of his mouth with his hand. "Watch it, sweetheart. I'm not sure if you haven't caught on... but I always give the orders. You will not cum until I allow." You whimper loudly at his declaration, you had never had a man command you like this, but you couldn't deny the effect it was having on your body.
"I'll do what you say." You whisper, barely audible, looking away from his eyes. Loosening his hand on your neck, using it to make you look back up to him. A faint smirk now played at the corner of his lips. "What was that?" He lightly chuckles. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes.
"I said I'll do what you say. Happy?" You return the smirk. "Hmm, honestly I thought you'd be harder to break. I think you're just trying to get what you want." He informs you, moving his face closer to yours. You shrug your shoulders innocently. "Is it working?" You breathe against his lips before gripping onto his shirt pulling him flush against you.
His mouth explores yours again; it's without a doubt the best kiss of your life. He was so skilled in his movements, and how he taunted you with his hands without actually pleasuring you. Maybe you had been dealing with boys before.
Hotch gripping into your hips, lifting you slightly before walking your bodies away from the door. You hardly notice he was moving you until your legs hit the back of a couch. He instantly spun you around making you a bit dizzy, folding you at the waist over the couch.
You couldn't help the smirk that grew on your face hearing the chime of his belt buckle, you were getting exactly what you wanted. "I wouldn't gloat so quickly y/n" Hotch warns. You try to look back to observe but cannot move from him keeping a hand on your neck, pushing your chest into the oversized cushion.
"And I shouldn't because?" You entertain his warning. "Because this" is the only answer he provides, and you then feel the pressure. That of him forcing his cock in you with a single plunge, burying himself to your brim, ripping through any defiance left in you.
"Aaron!" You scream out his first name, gasping for the air he just knocked from your stomach. He was massive, stretching you uncomfortably, you didn't have to see it to know you had never taken a cock this big. You were also sinfully a sucker for pain.
"Fuck" he groans above you, surly your tightness was affecting him also. You knew that he rammed into you purposely, not wanting you to be able to conform to his size before punishing you.
He made the single motion again, burying himself again and stopping, making you cry out again. "What's wrong sweetheart? A brat like you can take it right?" His breathing is labored now, one hand still tightly holding you down, the other now roughly gripping your hip. He repeats the same hard single thrust, you can feel tears building at your lashes. The way he filled you was overwhelming.
"Please" you beg, squirming under him. You weren't sure what you were begging for at this point, you just needed him. Every time he stills you could feel his cock pulsing deep in you, not delivering enough pleasure to relieve you, but only to further drive you mad.
"Oh, now you want to do what you're told huh? Now you beg like a pathetic whore." He responds with another snap of his hips. You couldn't take much more, you felt as if you could combust at any second. "Aaron I can't..please" you cry, feeling the tears stream over your face, he had finally broken you.
"Go ahead baby, call me what you really want. Go ahead." He groans, pulling your head back by a fist full of your hair. He didn't have to say it, you knew exactly what he meant, and he knew you wanted it. So you let everything out, all the months of frustration boiling over.
"Daddy, please...I'm yours...please" You wish you could've recorded the sound that escaped Aaron at that moment, a loud groan mixed with a needy whine. Matched by feeling his cock twitch inside you, struggling to stay composed hearing that name.
He throws his hips into you again, but this time it follows with another quick thrust, over and over, filling the room with a slapping noise and your moans. He keeps your hair pulled back, making your body hold the arch for him to angle deeper, brushing your g spot with each hard thrust.
"Yes yes yes, don't stop" You scream, him finally giving you what you needed. "Can you take it, baby? You're so damn tight" He grunts, you weren't going to last with him calling you baby. "Yes, daddy, harder please" you plea, wanting him to ruin you. He grants your wish, fucking you harder, you gasping feeling it all the way in your stomach. You would certainly be bruised tomorrow, but the pain would be worth it.
"Fuck daddy. So good... so fucking deep." You cry, feeling your body begin to tingle, your legs shaking against him. He groans feeling you tightening "Cum for daddy sweetheart." He encourages through his heavy breaths, and that's all it takes to make your body snap. He slows his motions slightly letting you ride out your orgasm, your walls still fluttering around his thick cock.
He releases your head, you not having the energy to stay upright you letting it hang down against the couch. "Shit that's was amazing" You whisper, causing him to chuckle and slowly begin to move into you again. Your eyes flash open realizing he still hadn't finished.
"Aaron I can't" you whine, your body couldn't possibly take more of this. "Oh I'm not finished, and neither are you" He growls in your ear, you couldn't help but moan out at his tone. "I can't take anymore" You whine again, only fueling him. He releases the hand that was holding you, now gripping onto both of your hips harshly, definitely leaving a mark. There was no reason to restrain you anymore, he knew you were his.
Hotch returns to the same pace he held previously, causing your eyes to roll back as you yelp, grasping onto the couch for dear life it felt. "Don't forget your place sweetheart. You're done when I say brat..." he pauses his sentence, repositioning one of his hands to your front. "And I think you can give me one more." He states as he set fire to your body rubbing fiercely over your clit, steadily pushing himself deep, determined to make you unravel again.
"Daddy" You scream, feeling your body giving in to him, his thrust becoming frantic, his moans become beastly with each thrust. "Give it to me y/n. Ahh... fuck. I know you want to baby." Is his final pleasuring cry to take you with him, as he made a final slap against your body to sheathe himself fully.
"Oh, Aaron" Is all you can cry as the air hitches in your throat. All at once, your body erupts again, feeling him filling you with his seed. Grasping onto him to anchor yourself to reality, uncertain this level if euphoria is real, or if you'll ever get to relive it again.
Drained of any energy, your body collapses into his, feeling his arms catch you and lifting you sweetly into his embrace. Although; unable to open your eyes, you feel him carefully carrying you, and then the soft cushion of a bed. You weren't sure how long he was gone, but your body slightly jumps at the feeling of a wet cloth between your thighs.
"Wha..what are you doing?" You mutter against a pillow and hear him softly laugh at you. "I've got you, sweetheart, just rest" He replies in a very tender voice. He softly wipes your leg, erasing the proof of your shared pleasure. Even half-conscious you had never felt so adored. Following; you feel him slide the heels off your feet, and then tug at the end of your dress to remove it. Your dress is finally off, and you feel it would be silly to care about after the deed you two just committed.
You are only naked for a couple of seconds before he wiggles a soft t-shirt over your body, oversized enough to be a nightgown. It smells strongly of him, which comforted you, but not as much as him pulling you into his bare chest, kissing your forehead just as you slip into an exhausted sleep.
Please let me know if this should be turned into a short series! Thanks loves!
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bakugosbratx · 4 years ago
Note
Hiiii! CONGRATS on your milestone! You really deserve them and many more! I saw that request were open and would like to request some noncon/yandere Bakugou where if the reader doesn't cum in said time he will let her go and if she does he claims every single hole? Feel free to sprinkle in bdsm I like it all and I'm a masochist ^^
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Warning: 18+ content. Sexual intercourse, masturbation, sex toy(s), cursing, yandere tendencies, abuse, noncon, dubcon, degrading, punishment, overstimulation, breeding kink, etc.
Check out my other works here
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A/N: Hello! Thank you so much. I love this idea. Yandere is one of my favorite things to write along with bdsm. I’ve actually been thinking of doing a personal one shot like this so I’m happy you requested it. Hopefully it meets what you’re looking for.
Words: 2,605
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You thought you were so slick, masturbating while the pro-hero was at work. You thought you were so clever buying that vibrator online. It was hidden inside a stuffed animal so when Katsuki glanced over your purchase before hitting submit, he never noticed. He thought it was just another stupid stuffed animal you wanted for your collection.
You kept the toy hidden inside the bear, but once Katsuki left, you unzipped the back to pull out the pleasure device. The amount of orgasms and cum you produced was more than you have in months. This was going to be your little secret and Katsuki will never even think to look. Except, you seem to not have noticed Katsuki had cameras. They are hidden, of course, but they are there.
They saw everything and so did Katsuki.
You’re used to Katsuki coming home in a mood when he had a long day at work and honestly, Katsuki could expect the same out of you. So, when Katsuki arrived home with his usual attitude, you didn’t notice.
“Y/N,” he called as he closed the front door behind him. His work boots were already off and resting by the couch along with his gauntlets, mask, gloves, and any other armor. You jogged over to him, a smile on your face as you approached the man.
“Welcome home, Katsuki!” You greet with enthusiasm, wrapping your arms around his neck and a soft kiss on the cheek. This was no different than your normal act you put on. Katsuki trained you to act this way, after all.
Katsuki’s hands rested on your plump ass, his red eyes clearly not showing the same amount of enthusiasm you held. When your irises met his, your smile dropped into a concern frown.
“Been good while I was away?” He asked as usual.
You nodded, “yes, sir.”
“Is that a lie?” Katsuki interrogated, raising an eyebrow. You started to sweat and tremble within his hold. Sadly, he noticed.
“No, not at all.” You managed to utter out. A little too quick for your own good.
Katsuki chuckled scornfully. “Really? Because,” his fingers reached into the front of your pants to swipe your delicate pussy. You started to become flustered as he pulled out his slick covered fingers, clicking his tongue at his confirmed suspicion. “You’re one wet little girl.”
“I-I,” you stammered, tears welling in your scared eyes. You mentally cursed yourself for not keeping track of the time. You were enjoying time with your new toy when you heard the door unlock and Katsuki call your name. Your whole core is a slick covered mess and Katsuki knows about it.
“Bedroom,” he delivers a hard slap to your ass with one hand while pointing towards the hall with the other, “Now.”
Not pushing your luck, you did as your told. Katsuki was closely behind you, his dark crimson eyes glaring at the back of your skull. You should have known better than to think you were going to get away with this. Now, you have to suffer through whatever punishment Katsuki feelings like handing out tonight.
Walking inside the bedroom, Katsuki examined the room. The only thing out of place was the soaked gray towel laying on the wooden bed frame. You did not have time to hide it. You could lie about the towel, the vibrator? Not so much.
“I-I’m sorry, K-Katsuki.” You whined as he grabbed the towel. He shook his head.
“I’m sure you are. Strip.” He ordered. You did exactly that.
You stood still, the air hitting your soaked cunt. Goosebumps arises on your arms and you shiver slightly. Katsuki eyes your slick covered pussy and thighs.
“Bend over the bed, slut.” Katsuki demands, pointing towards the bed. Tears are streaming down your face as you do as your told. He spreads your legs apart more so your cunt can weep some more. Using the soaked towel, he cleans you up. You let out pathetic apologies and whimpers, but this did not make Katsuki any less angry.
“I’m sorry, Katsuki.” You repeat with a sniffle, hoping he will show you some mercy when he punishes you. You both know he is a merciless man, though. Your apologies are useless.
Giving your ass another hard slap like earlier, you let out a yelp. “Stand up.” Katsuki orders. As expected, you listen. Katsuki retrieves a dry towel from the bathroom and lay it down on the bed. Your heart is racing and you are clearly nervous.
“Lay down on your back.”
You lay down on your back. Katsuki grabbed your wrist and tied rope around it then proceed to attach it to the bedpost. He did the same action with each limb so you are spread eagle on the bed. So many questions raced through your mind. You didn’t dare ask what his cruel mind wanted to do to your exposed body, but his devious smirk and invading gaze did not help you draw good conclusions.
You were too busy in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Katsuki retrieving your teal vibrator. Your eyes grew wide as he shake it in front of your face. All the dots are connecting and now you understand why he is so mad.
“Look familiar?” He chuckled. “Thought you would really get away with it, didn’t you? I’ve done told you I see everything.”
“Katsuki—“
“Shut the fuck up, Y/N. I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses and pathetic apologies for the rest of the night. You’ve done lied to me more than once. I need to teach your lying ass a lesson.” Katsuki scolds.
Turning the sex toy on the highest setting possible, he lays the vibrator on your sensitive clit. You automatically moan and sob. Katsuki snickers.
“Such a selfish whore. Always want your pussy pleased, but never want to pleasure me in return.” He growls them walks closer to you and grabs your chin so you are forced to meet his gaze. “That changes today. I’ll make you a deal. You don’t cum within,” he gazed at his Rolex then back at you,” ten minutes, I’ll let your ass go. If you cum, though, you are stuck with me for good and I’m going to stuff every hole you got. Deal?”
Not giving you much of an option, you nod. You so desperately want to escape Katsuki. You miss normalcy. You miss your friends and family. You miss the freedoms of being a normal human being. This is your ticket out, you better take it.
Gently slapping your cheek, he smirks. “I’ll come back to check on you in a bit. Have fun, cum loving slut. I’ll have fun stuffing you later.”
You watched as Katsuki left the room. Your moans filled the empty space and your pulsating cunt is already begging for dear release. You struggle against the restraints, panting and whining. You wanted out. Katsuki did not tie the rope gently at all. Even if you were strong, these restraints would be hard to escape from.
What was once enjoyable is now being used as punishment. Regrets seep in. You have already overstimulated your poor pussy today. You are exhausted and all you wanted to do is rest, but the loud vibrations are preventing you from doing so. You attempted to withhold your cum. You wanted to so badly. Not only for a chance of freedom, but you will be dammed if Katsuki fills your holes. You did not want that man’s filthy hands anywhere near you let alone his erected cock.
You did your best to wiggle the device off of your clit, but it was no use as an orgasm arise. Gasp escaped your lips as your pussy cried. Your cum covered your cunt, vibratory, and even squirted onto the bed. You began to feel flustered, but your punishment was not over with. You have several more minutes left and Katsuki does not plan on coming in a minute too early. You will be covered in your own arousal by the time he arrives.
Just like he wanted.
You reached your climax again and again, leaving the towel, sex toy, cunt, and thighs soaked. You’re sweating, panting, and out of moans to release. Another orgasm overcame you when Katsuki walked in. A smug grin was plastered on his face as he leaned against the doorframe, watching you meet your next high. This made it even worse.
“I came just in time. I get to see you be a filthy slut in person.” Katsuki teased. You wanted to glare at him, but your eyes are rolling back and any insult came out as incoherent babbles. Your pussy released more cum much to your dismay and Katsuki’s enjoyment. Embarrassment washed over you as Katsuki came over to pick on you some more.
“You done squirtin’ yet?” He snickered. “You soaked the whole damn bed.”
“Katsuki, please,” you whine and struggle against the restraints, “make it stop.”
“Aw, is someone going to cum again, isn’t she?” Katsuki coo’s, faux sympathy clear in his tone. You shake your head no, but by your lewd faces, he can tell your close again. He glances at your whimpering pussy then back at you. “Yeah, you are. Go ‘head and cum for me. I know you got plenty in there.”
You don’t even have the energy to protest anymore. Any fight you have left has vanished as you release, closing your eyes in the process. Katsuki was sure to watch every moment of it, too.
Katsuki removed the vibrator, turning it off. You let out a sigh of relief, but that relief is short lived once you remember the deal. Katsuki is not going to wait until you are ready to be quote-on-quote ‘stuffed.’ No, he is a man with needs that you agreed to meet if you failed your part. You were doomed from the start, in all honesty. There was no way you were going to succeed and you both knew that.
You were untied, sitting up on the towel. You did not enjoy sitting in your pool of cum, but as usual, you have no say in the matter. Your eyes never left Katsuki as he put back the items. Before putting the sex toy away, he looked at you with the slick covered device in his hand.
“We’re keeping this for future use.” Katsuki smirked. You sigh, regretting even buying the damn thing to begin with. It was only a matter of time until Katsuki got his greedy calloused fingers onto it.
Katsuki returned over to you, looking down at you with disgust. That almost felt worse than the punishment itself. Yes, you hated Katsuki, but somehow, you still craved his approval. You did not like making him unhappy. Your body and bones depended on you making him happy.
“Like sitting in your own filth?” He arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms.
“No.” You answer, bowing your head down in shame.
“Why? Don’t like being reminded how much of a disgusting whore you are?” Katsuki tsk. He has always been the degrading type, but when he is angry and trying to prove a point, he is much worse.
“No.” You replied, whimpering slightly. You refused to look at him, but you know he is enjoying this. He enjoys putting you in your place. He enjoys winning.
Katsuki began taking off the rest of his work clothes. His erected cock is already throbbing from watching you bust everywhere. He may not have been in the room physically, but he sure did enjoy watching you downstairs on the flat screen. He didn’t even need to turn on the sound because your moans traveled down to the living room.
“Get in the position I like you in.” Katsuki instructed. Tears stream down your face. You didn’t want to do it. You’re tired and just the thought of Katsuki putting his length deep within you disturbed you emotionally.
“You deaf or somethin’?” Katsuki growls as he grabs you by your hair and gets close to your face. “I said get in the fuckin’ position.”
You scurry to do as your told, Katsuki letting go of your hair so you can do so. Face down, ass up is Katsuki’s favorite position to fuck you in. He loves seeing all of your exposed holes to please and toy with. Call him greedy, but he knows you secretly enjoy it too. At least, that is what he tells himself as he makes you moan out his name.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Katsuki praises as you get into position. He spreads you open more so he can get a nice view of all of you. Your cunt is damp and ready for Katsuki’s length, but he is deciding to be nice. “Which hole you want me to fuck first?”
Neither, you thought.
“Any.” You huffed out, wanting this over with already. Your annoyed tone bought you a hard slap to your ass. You wince in pain.
“I’m sorry, Katsuki.” You cry, instinctively. “My pussy, please.”
Katsuki rubs your ass cheek in approval. His hands hold onto your hips, positioning you the perfect angle to take all of his dick. The tip rest at your weeping entrance then proceeds to slide inside. You cry out in pleasure and pain. No matter how wet you are, no matter how many times Katsuki has sex with you, your cunt will never be able to handle all of his girth. Your tight walls will always hug his length to his enjoyment. Katsuki just can’t get enough.
Katsuki continued his constant rough rhythm, delivering a few slaps to your ass and thighs in the process. He loves seeing your ass bounce as he thrust deep into you. The way you sing him beautiful melodies of moans, groans, and whines just encourages his behavior.
“Katsuki—“ You cry, incoherently, as he hits your ass again.
“What’s the matter? Too much dick for ya?” Katsuki mocks. “Bet that stupid little toy of yours can’t make you feel this good. Look at you, can’t even make coherent sentences. Such a,” he grunts as his dick twitches deep inside you, “dumb fuckin’ slut.”
You grip the bedsheets as Katsuki pushes down on your tailbone to move a slightly different angle. Your breast still bounced though they were pressed against the soaked cotton beneath you. You tried to muffle your moans, but Katsuki will not allow that to happen. He wants to hear you stroke his ego. He wants to be reassured he is making you feel this amazing.
Katsuki continued pumping into your sore cunt until he met his goal. You have no choice but to milk every single drop he has to offer. Once you are nice and full of his cum, he taps your putter thigh.
“Sit up.”
As commanded, you sit up. Your back is pressed against Katsuki’s chest. His hand hugs your neck, squeezing it nicely. You cough slightly, looking up at him.
“Think I better take care of this mouth of yours next. Seems to get you in the most trouble.”
“Please no.” You whisper, more tears falling. Katsuki releases your throat, now holding your chin, and brushes them away with his thumb.
“Don’t want me to stuff your dirty little mouth, hm?”
“I’ll be good, Katsuki.” You swallow the lump that formed in your throat, doing your best to sound small. He liked when you sound weak. “I promise.”
“Y’know better than to make promises you can’t keep. You’ve broken several of them already. Be a good girl for me and get on your knees.”
“Yes, Katsuki.”
©bakugosbratx
All Rights Reserved
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jishyucks · 4 years ago
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Eight Count ‣ lmh
‣ genre: fluff, enemies-to-lovers, hogwarts!au, I think it's a slow burn
‣ wc: 10.8k
‣ summary: "There's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." ; in which fate decides to be an ass and make you and Minho dance partners
‣ an: I'm sosososo sorry @ whoever requested this bc of how long it took. I didn't mean for it to be so long but it kept going and uni is to blame bc all of the work :(( but anyways enjoy !!
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i.
You feel the beat of your heart quicken as you maneuver through the maze of corridors that you had begun to approach. Time was ticking. The first classes of the day had already started about half an hour ago, and here you were, racing down the stone hallways, tardy and a bit dazed.
It had only been a mere five minutes since you had woken up in the dormitories in pure panic, the realization that everyone had left and you were still cuddled up against one of the pillows in your bed driving you to act quick. You could accuse your housemates of not even bothering to check if you were alive, but you soon decided to place the blame on your body's restlessness and inability to go to sleep when you wished. You wouldn't call it insomnia, but your sleeping patterns weren't normal either.
Approaching the dance room with a quiet sigh of relief, you tug at the wooden door and peek in, hoping that you weren't barging in at such a humiliating time.
Scattered around the rather room, students were paired in twos. Each couple's bodies had been facing each other, hands sitting awkwardly in the other's while their faces were turned towards the dance instructors, Professor Shin and Professor Na. By the look on Professor Shin's face, it was evident that she was about to continue speaking, but the door swinging open had caught her attention.
"Ahh Y/N, nice of you to finally join us," she clasped her hands in genuine excitement, passion towards dance obviously bubbling up inside of her.
You grinned crudely and bowed your head, "W-what should I do, Professor?" Spotting your best friend Felix within the group of students, he tried his best to send you a look of 'we were supposed to be partners'. You shot him an apologetic expression back before turning your attention back to both professors.
After a brief pause in thought, Professor Na's face lit up, "Ah yes! Lee Minho lacks a partner as of now!" Following the eyes of your teacher, they brought your line of sight to the far corner of the room where Minho had been sitting. At the mention of his name, he raised his head to see that everyone had been gaping back at him in what seemed like total silence.
A sharp intake of air through your nose had replicated a gasp, eyes growing wide, "P-pardon?" Out of all the boys in the class, an amount you couldn't keep track of with your fingers, you had to end up with Lee Minho? The human embodiment of a wet sock?
Minho was… unbearable, to say the least. It wasn't that he had done something for you to hate him, which made you seem like a bad person, but in all honesty, your guys' personalities didn't seem to match. He was too arrogant, in your opinion. He has this energy that he carries that really didn't sit well with you, and by the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. It was as if you both ended up on the opposite bc end of everything.
It really doesn't help that you're a Hufflepuff, and he's a Slytherin. For some unknown reason, they always loved teasing the people from your house, though Hufflepuffs chose not to return their actions.
"Mr. Lee is the only student remaining with no partner."
You gulped and slowly approached him, only because your professors had motioned you over to him. If you could protest, you would, but what was holding you back was the attention given by the entire class and the teacher's who seemed too excited for their own good.
Minho pressed his tongue against his inner cheek, eyes lighting up in wrongly-fueled happiness. He hopped from the upper bench and down across from you. You blinked back at him dryly, maintaining calm yet trying to speak to him with your eyes.
Crossing his arms, he leaned forward and smirked, "Why the bitter face? You should relish in your luck for ending up with me."
"Stop talking, dead cells are coming out of your mouth… Luck my as–"
"Now! That everyone has a partner, I'd like you all to stick with these individuals until these classes are finished," Professor Shin had announced. It was quickly followed by groans and whining from many of your classmates. Though you hated your partner and wished you had arrived earlier and paired with Felix, you stood quiet, isolating the anger within your chest.
"And before we begin once again," Professor Na added, "I'd like to point out that this is still a class. We will be holding a class particularly focused on evaluation and your grade will be heavily based on participation over the length of this course." Once again, a chorus of grumbles had flooded the room.
You hear Minho curse under his breath, only because he was now two steps too far into your bubble, "This is utter bullshit."
This time it was your turn to taunt, "Why? Are you scared or something? Can't dance? Can't keep up with everyone?"
Narrowing his eyes, he scoffs, "Oh, shut your mouth, bumblebee. Just wait and see."
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ii.
"Get up!" Felix tugged at your arm, voice sounding louder than it actually was. When you hadn't shifted at all in your bed, he sighed and tugged once more, "Y/N!"
"Wha– Felix you're not allowed in here!" You kicked at your blanket and sat up.
"We need to get to dance class," he clicked his tongue, "Let's go~"
"I really don't want to go," you whined, "I'd rather fail a class than hold hands with Lee Minho for an hour and a half." Felix dragged you out of your bed to see that you were already dressed in your robe, only your yellow and black tie had been carelessly tied.
"Wait, did you not change out your clothes from yesterday?" Felix jumped back in exaggeration, alarmed and slightly grossed out. His nose scrunched while he judged you through his eyes.
You glared at him and scoff, "Of course I did, you idiot. And don't act like you haven't done that." You take this as your victory as it was true, Felix had gone two days without changing, and it was a bit nasty considering all the places he's gone to in a day.
This time it was his turn to glare at you, "You shut your mouth! Now let's leave before Snape sees us roaming the halls once class starts."
Minho winced slightly, trying not to let your feet ruin the simple waltz routine that the class had finally run through, "If you step on my foot one more time, I'm shoving yours up your arse." His teeth were gritted in frustration, looking down at you with narrowed eyes.
"Then stop stepping on my feet," you muttered back, hoping that no one else, especially the professors, were hearing you two bicker.
It had only been about two lessons into the class and that amount of times that Minho had purposefully disrupted the routine… as if it were good, to begin with.
The two of you found it difficult to fall in sync with each other. It was always either going too fast or too slow, someone making an 'accidental' mistake, and Minho's favourite, holding your hand and hip with a tight and stubborn grip. It wasn't evident whether he was doing it on purpose, either, but you had pointed it out plenty of times, and he never seemed to loosen them.
"I'm not stepping on them," he pushed you back a little too early in the dance, causing you to stumble on your own feet. This caught the attention of those around you, though they carried on almost immediately after.
"Tell that to my bruised toe," you argued back.
As if you were being blessed, the music had finally come to an end. You promptly retracting your arms and to your body and taking a step back from Minho. He had done the same, going an extra mile to turn away from you and to the professors.
"Perfect! Perfect!" Professor Na's face lit up from excitement, "Now that we have learned this simple routine, next class we are moving on to one of the actual dances done in the Yule Ball as tradition. I hope you all are excited as I am!" Very few students had taken time to let out a "whoop" while everyone else, including you, chose to retrieve their books at the seats.
Felix approached you with a pitiful smile. He already knew what you were going to say, patting your back gently, "So how was it?"
Exhausted, you just shook your head and shrugged. Being partners with Minho honestly had been completely draining for you, mentally and physically, which was unusual as you could often live through such situations without feeling the need to scream.
"What else do you think?"
Felix nodded apologetically and puffed out his cheeks, "Is it as bad as the potions exam we had in fourth year?" He shuddered subtly and led you out of the classroom. Just thinking about that exam made Felix want to claw at his brain. If there was a way to take a particular memory and make it disappear from the chamber of long term memories, he would. Maybe then he'd be able to get a few more hours of sleep.
"Yes," you replied simply. The test was equally as horrible for you, but a test didn't force you to 'create chemistry' with a certain Slytherin.
"You're lying… can't be that bad," Felix laughed lightly.
"Easy for you to say," you sighed.
From behind, you feel someone bump your shoulder and pass by you, "Oops," he snickered, walking backwards to watch your reaction. The only thing he was missing was popcorn.
You turned to see Minho and rolled your eyes, "Ha-Ha, you're so funny, Lee Minho." Such a childish joke and you guys were almost leaving Hogwarts.
Though your reply had been dripping in sarcasm, Minho's wit had dodged it entirely, "Well thank you very much," he bowed, more like a manly curtsy, before he ran off, leaving Felix slightly puzzled at what just happened.
"Don't you see how much of a dingbat he is? He constantly chooses to pick on me just to get a reaction out of me," you utter, "He should be glad I was raised to be patient, if not I'd be hexing him like the world was near its end."
"I see a pattern," Felix hummed. The expression on his face looked as if he had come to an incredible epiphany.
Making a face, you click your tongue, "What do you even mean by that?" What pattern? Green, white, green, white? Minho and his constant need to be the crow to your crops?
Felix patted your head, "You're slow sometimes, you know that right?" He puffed his cheeks up and raised his brows as he looked down at you as if you were a kid.
"Can you just spit it out?" you narrowed your eyes at him before you physically pried his hand off your head.
"Minho does all of that just to get a reaction out of you," Felix presses his lips into a thin line, slowly forming a smile.
Finally arriving at the next classroom, you groaned, "You basically repeated what I said earlier…"
"If you didn't know this already, boys love getting attention from someone they are attracted to," Felix plopped into his seat. You followed right after, "I should know… I'm a boy."
You almost laugh at the tone of his voice. The confidence and the look he gave you to emphasize his statement; was all too funny, "So what you're saying is… Lee Minho has a – and god forbid– crush on me?" Felix nods like a young child, with eyes wide and a tight-lipped smile.
"Bollocks," You burst out laughing, "Felix, I love you, don't get me wrong, but you've never said anything more rubbish in the years I've known you."
"The chances are never zero," Felix put his index finger as if he were saying it in 'a matter of fact'.
You lean forward and sit your chin at your folded forearms. You eyed the teacher as she made her way into the room, "You're right there, Lix, but there's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." You locked that statement in, feeling your words and emotions contradict.
Right?
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iii.
"And then Y/N had the audacity to step on my foot," Minho kicked at the bench across from him, frustration released after what seemed to Seungmin was years of ranting. He didn't mind though, in years of being in the same house as him, he learned how to block him out yet still know what was going on when Minho asked for some sort of reply.
Minho tapped the end of his pencil against his textbook, eyes drifting off elsewhere in the grand hall. Students were clumped at their respective tables, studying for whatever class they had. Minho was trying to do the same, but his state of mind was not in the mood. But he was trying, he was pushing himself, that's what mattered in his opinion.
Turning his attention to Seungmin, who was seated next to him, he jumped, seeing that Seungmin's eyes were wide and directed at him, "What the hell!?"
"What?" Seungmin shifted back forward, facing his own books. In a sense, the scene was hysterical. He acted as if he hadn't done anything wrong or out of the ordinary, but Minho still tried to push an explanation out of him through looks.
"What do you mean what? Why were you looking at me like that?" Minho put his pencil down and closed his book on it.
"I was trying to see something," the boy shrugged and got back to his own work.
Again, Minho furrowed his brows at Seungmin's lack of detail in his response. What in the world was he even trying to do? "Trying to see what? If you don't answer me properly–"
"Okay! Okay!" Seungmin exclaimed a little too loudly, earning looks from other wizards in the room, "You know that saying that if you're in love, you start to glow?"
"No? What type of nonsense are you saying?" Minho scoffed, "Love? Are you sick or something?" Roughly, Minho brought the back of his hand to Seungmin's forehead, which Seungmin had thrown off almost right away.
"You've been talking about Y/N this entire period, you haven't stopped until moments ago," wiggling his eyebrows, Seungmin whispered his reply to Minho, making sure no one would be able to hear him this time.
Minho's face had contorted into one of disgust and confusion, "And?" Where was Seungmin even going with this? He was just relieving stress. It's not that deep.
"My point is that they're the only thing you've been talking about lately," Seungmin scribbles his pen at the top of his paper to get it to work, "Even if I start the conversation, it somehow just shifts to Y/N. Normally I'd be mad, but since you're in love, I'll let it pass."
"In love?" Minho's jaw dropped, a mixture of emotions swimming around inside of him, "In love!?" Trying to find words to perfectly reflect what he was saying, he fails, shoving Seungmin off the bench. Actions spoke louder than words, right?
Seungmin smirked and chuckled, unfazed, "What? Cat got your tongue?" He gets up, dusting his robe off before sitting back down, "It's because I'm right, aren't I?"
Minho gulps, "Will you quit it? You're…"
"I'm…?"
"You're confusing me. Quit it," Minho huffs, gathering all his things as he was planning to return to the dormitories. This was a different way of playing with emotions. There was a zero per cent chance that he liked you, or worse, loved you. That word was way too strong, dangerous like amortentia.
"I take that as a yes!" Seungmin stood his ground, just letting out a genuine laugh.
Minho held a finger up at Seungmin, who still laughed, unbothered. He didn't like you. And if he did, it wasn't wrong to do so. It was an ordinary mortal thing to have feelings. But that didn't matter right now because he didn't like you, not even a tiny crush.
But that slight state of unfamiliar panic in his heart says otherwise.
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iv.
The muscles in your arm were aching from the horrible fact that Minho had been purposefully letting his arm go limp while he was holding your hand, which somehow led to you holding up his arm with your arm. You frowned at him, tempted to let your arm fall in the middle of the routine.
"Can you actually put in some effort?" you whispered through gritted teeth. Squeezing Minnho's hand, you directed a look of annoyance that only returned with an amused look. Underneath his robe, you could tell he had been intentionally dragging his feet, causing the both of you to slowly hold those partnerships behind you up.
"I'm not wasting energy on this," he shrugs quietly, "It's ridiculous."
"What don't you find ridiculous?" you rolled your eyes, "You Slytherins and the lack of interest in anything but yourselves. Where's the excitement in that?" No, you didn't want to generalize the entire Slytherin population, especially since you had family members from that house, but you knew exactly how to rev up Minho's engine. Just by the way his face twisted, you knew damn well you hit the right spot.
"Shut your mouth before I spin you a little too hard…" he said a little bit louder, "I don't find it ridiculous, I just find that us being partners is ridiculous… who in this entire school would want to be partners with you?" Before you could even reply, he had caught you, "That's not from your house."
"Jokes on you, I know plenty of people who would be partners with me," you scoffed, and it was true. There was Jisung who had somehow been sorted into Gryffindor, Hyunjin and their seniors, Bang Chan and Changbin. And there was Jeongin, who was a Ravenclaw. You could list a handful more, but that's beside the point.
"Silence is deadly," he stifled a laugh which had driven you to 'accidentally' stumble over your own feet. This caused him to stumble himself, only he wasn't prepared for it, "I'm blaming you for ending up being my partner. I was hoping someone else would've entered the room. But no, it had to be you."
"You're blaming me? For this?" You shake your head out of disbelief, not noticing that your voice had gone louder. You were catching the attention of those around you and the professors at the front of the room, "You could have found a partner you wanted in the first place but you probably decided to stay back and wait for someone to go up to you. No one wanted to be partners with you, which is why you ended up alone in the first place."
Minho's eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost on fire at what you had just said, "You know what?!"
Before he had been able to continue the banter, Professor Shin had cleared her throat. The glares that they both were sending your way had caused the both of you to stop with the squabbling, "Y/N, Minho, I know we've never talked to the two of you about your constant bickering, but it is simply interrupting the atmosphere of my classroom."
Taken aback, the both of you had stumbled over each other's feet, falling to the ground and causing a domino effect among the rest of the students.
Flustered, you turn to Minho, "That was all your fault, Lee Minho." You huffed and attempted to get up, failing once you noticed that Minho was practically lying on your leg.
"Oh be quiet," he rolled his eyes and dusted himself off, "That was all you! You and your two left feet." The rest of the room was silent, regardless of the incident. All ears and eyes were on the 'love birds,' not entirely sure whether or not they should blame you both on what had just happened.
Sliding out from underneath him, you scoffed, "Don't speak so highly of yourself, Minho."
Minho cackled, "Highly? Of myself?!"
"Stop this instant!" Professor Na had finally mustered up the courage to intervene, anger bubbling in his stomach, "Enough!" The two professors began helping the students up, scolding both of you as they did.
"Five points deducted from your respective houses," Professor Shin said sharply, "And you both are now in charge of polishing the floor every Friday for the following three weeks."
"But professor–"
Minho was cut off, "That, or ten points off for your houses…" And without another word, you both chose to polish the floors after all classes were done for the day.
Day one of polishing the floors was practically the most difficult. Not only did the professors restrict using magic to finish the chore, but the overall idea of doing something alongside Minho aggravated you, which was why you hated dancing with him so much. The comments he'd make, the taunting looks he'd give you, the jokes that were obviously uncalled for, they all were honestly bringing you to the point of near insanity.
At first, both of you had decided to start off on the same side, almost the same corner. But the moment you noticed Minho constantly glancing your way in the corner of your eye, you decided against it, "How about I start at that end."
"Whatever floats your boat," he mumbles, "I don't care."
The tone in his voice hadn't matched yours, which you assumed was polite enough not to spark some type of that energy in him, but it did.
"Whatever," you make your way to the other end, sliding your robe off on the way. You let it hang off one of the benches, making sure it wasn't touching the floor. You rolled up your sleeves and started polishing the further end of the room, a bit relieved that Minho wasn't hovering anywhere within your line of sight. It was better that way.
The second day, you were hoping that you could get through a period of cleaning without hearing Minho's ungodly voice. He had been moving back and forth from one corner to the other, feet squeaking seemingly endlessly against the floor. You wished that the volume of the music could be turned up louder.
"I'm doing more than you are," Minho pointed out. You turned to find that he was standing in the middle of the room, hair messy and beads of sweat lining his hairline. His collar was out of place, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows just as yours were. Did he, for some reason, look attractive, or was it the lack of light in the room? Probably the latter.
"What do you mean you're doing more than I am?" you feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, "I'm doing the same amount of work as you." And you were, but you were working just a bit slower than he was. He had probably sped through his area with the idea that the sooner you both finished, the sooner you were able to leave.
"Just hurry up," he groaned. Minho dragged his feet over to a lone stool, pushing it against the wall before plopping into it. The music continued to play, drowning out the shuffle noises of his feet.
"No," you replied, keeping your speed consistent. It wasn't like you wanted to stay longer. It was the fact that Minho couldn't leave until you were finished that was making you act this way. Maybe if he did his job well, he wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing.
Tile by tile, you continued to carry out the chore given to you, not paying mind to the pair of eyes that were burning holes into your back. You ensured that the areas you had worked on were basically spotless, reflection or not, you assumed that shiny meant clean.
Minho had been humming along to the somewhat catchy tune, foot tapping to pass the precious time he believed you were wasting. Nonetheless, he leaned back and sighed, hoping you could finish in time, so he had time to nap before dinner.
"Why do they even need classes for dancing?" He sighed out. At first, you weren't quite sure if he was speaking to you or if he was just thinking out loud, "I feel like we'd be fine either way…" You turn to look at him, seeing that he was already staring at you down.
"I mean it's going to look nice at the Yule Ball,"
You replied.
"Yeah but not everyone's going… it's a waste of time," Minho had a point, yet you still found it somewhat amusing that the school would want to organize such things.
"I don't see why you don't just skip class if you find it a waste of time," you moved onto another spot and sighed, "No one's stopping you."
"Yeah but who'd be your partner then?"
Not knowing how to react to his question, you keep quiet. Minho decided not to follow up on the problem, thinking that he had said something out of the ordinary.
The sun had reached the horizon when you finished your portion of the room. You stood up to stretch, hearing the joints of your knees and back pop out of exhaustion. It was satisfying to see the difference between the used, scruffy floor and the clean, polished floor.
"Okay Lee Minho I'm finished," without taking a glance at the boy, you made your way over to the record player. You lifted the needle off and picked the record up, slipping it into its sleeve. It didn't occur to you that Minho hadn't shifted in the past thirty minutes, silence filling the room because you turned the music off.
"Minho?" Finally turning to him, you found him sleeping with his head sat back against the wall. His mouth was wide open, practically becoming a makeshift trap for bugs that happened to be flying around. The rest of his body was limp, legs spread out beneath him. It was surprising that he hadn't fallen off yet.
You walked up to his sleeping figure and laughed lightly, wishing you had a camera to capture this moment. It would've been great blackmail. Maybe then he'd start being nice to you. Naturally, your eyes followed the slope of his nose, then to the two front teeth that stuck out from underneath his top lip.
He had bunny-like features, and you didn't mean that in a wrong way. His face was still sculpted nonetheless. Anyone with eyes would have to admit that he was attractive.
"Done staring at me yet?"
You screamed and jumped back, pressing your hand up to your chest as if to calm you down. Looking back at Minho, you find that his eyes were still closed, yet a smirk had replaced his gaping mouth. The number of curse words that threatened to leave your mouth was countless, the embarrassment creeping up to your cheeks. He finally lifted his head to look at you, eyes still a bit droopy from his nap.
"I-I wasn't staring at you," you denied, shaking your head a bit too aggressively, "Well I was… but because I was laughing at how foolish you just looked."
An offended look surfaced Minho's face, scowling at you as he stood, "I have this feeling that you're lying, bumblebee… Anyways, this is where I leave. Finally, after years." He shook his rolled-up sleeves so that the cuffs slid back to his wrists. You let him leave without another word from the two of you, still in a bit of shock at what just happened. You knew he was never going to let you forget that.
You slumped next to Felix as dinner was being served, an expression almost as heavy as your posture. He looked down at you, debating whether or not he should interrupt the mini montage you were probably playing through your head.
"I want to ask you how the cleaning today was but I think I already know just by looking at you," he stated, sliding a piece of roasted chicken your way, "Unless you do want to speak about it. Just eat and the day's over."
You gave him a grateful smile and gestured for him to eat too, eyes lighting up slightly, "I'm actually not tired from cleaning that stupid dance room, but it's just… this thing that happened. It was beyond embarrassing."
Felix snorts and stuffs his cheeks with food. His words came out muffled as he still chose to reply with a full mouth, "What happened this time?"
You glanced towards the Slytherin table, eyes scanning it quickly to get one quick look at Minho before you whispered, "Minho fell asleep waiting for me to finish cleaning. He looked idiotic as he did so I sorta just—how do I say this— stared at him? But it wasn't like I was admiring him, it was more like I didn't want that stupid look on his face to go away. It was amusing."
"And?"
"In the middle of that he went, 'are you done staring yet?' It was like he had a sixth sense or something," you muttered, "Now I feel like he's making fun of me."
"Doesn't he always make fun of you," Felix had yet again stuffed his mouth, so his words were still muffled, "Why does it matter this time?"
"It's different. It's not some useless situation… it was genuinely embarrassing," you poke the food before taking a bite of your own, "He's going to it against me, I already know."
"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll forget it sooner than you will."
"Hey remember when I caught you staring at me?" Minho's voice echoed faintly throughout the room. He stood up to stretch before he crouched back down.
"I never stared at you," you sneered, "And why are you talking about that as if it happened years ago. That was literally last week."
"That's long enough in my book," he retorted, "Good times." A small reminiscing type smile appearing on his lips.
"Can you not start? I sorta want today to be stress-free and you're literally ruining it," you roll your eyes and move onto the next tile on your side. Minho had decided to choose a different record to play today, one the professors had never played in class. It had been hidden behind all the other records being used, and it took Minho a good five minutes to rake through all of them just to get to it.
The songs were more upbeat than the waltz music you were forced to listen to, which was actually much more perfect for cleaning to. It made it a bit more bearable than the last two times you had to clean.
Minho didn't reply, though you didn't see how he switched glances between you and the mechanical polisher in hand. The track had shifted into a faster song, something that was easy to dance to. From where he stood, he could see your knitted eyebrows, eyes dropping from the slight fatigue blanketing over you after a long school day.
Upon awareness that his shoulders were slumped, he straightened himself and sighed. This week had indeed been a long week, and it was evident in some way in both of you. This was the last of the week's labour before he could go and relax while mindlessly saving his homework for Sunday.
The music had been tempting to let go earlier than he should for the week, the steady beat and the catchy melody filling the room.
Putting the polisher and the rag down, he took a few steps towards you, still contemplating whether he should do what he was thinking or not. He was unsure whether it was bizarre for him to pull such a thing. But you did say you wanted a stress-free day, so he thought he should switch up a bit.
He started moving his body to the rhythm of the music, head bobbing as it took over him naturally. It was easier dancing alone than with a partner, that's for sure, but he wanted to invite you.
"Y/N!" He was freestyling, arms flailing and legs bringing him across the room with a swift movement.
You sighed, "What now?" Turning to Minho, you find him in the middle of the dance room, doing what the room was made for. He had a foreign smile on his face, not the usual smirk you'd find him sporting.
"What the–"
"Join me!"
You went through several different emotions in seconds, confusion, amusement, joy, contemplation… how were you supposed to react to a goofy Minho?
"Join me!" He repeated. This time he approached you, hands out in invitation, "C'mon it's fun!"
"Minho, we have to finish this so we can leave, remember?" You tried to keep a stern look on your face, yet you couldn't hold back the smile that had been forcing itself out. Minho suited this look; It was happier and carefree. You didn't know that his eyes would light up when he smiled a somewhat gummy smile.
"I know, but let's take a break," being the impatient boy he was, he took hold of your hands and pulled you up. He led you in a dance that probably wasn't considered a partner dance. He just pushed your arms back and forth like those scenes in the movies.
"Minho!" You finally let out a laugh, feet unable to keep up with his. He was sidestepping left, then sidestepping right, then back and forth, all unplanned. You stumbled, letting out joyful laughter that was rare around Minho. He laughed along with you, eyes disappearing the bigger his smile got.
When your legs had gotten worn out from constant movement, you tripped over one of them, sending you and your dance partner to the ground. Instead of erupting anger that would have usually washed over you, fits of laughter fell in its place, echoing throughout the room.
Before you could ask if he was okay, you hear footsteps enter the room, a confused Professor Shin staring the both of you down, "What are you two doing?! This is not polishing the floors!" The exasperation changed the normal hue of her skin into a shade of crimson.
Quickly apologizing, you get up and return to your so-called 'stations,' not being able to say another word about what had just happened to each other.
You wouldn't admit it out loud, not in front of Minho at least… but that was the most fun you've had in weeks.
Little did you know, Minho felt the same way.
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v.
There was a part of you who had gotten used to Minho's horrible dancing after two weeks of dancing classes. After what happened last week, there was a tiny sliver of toleration that had surfaced from both of you. It was mutual. But obviously, neither of you were going to admit it.
Though Minho was starting to get somewhat bearable, there were still days when he'd begin to act up, smirk pinned tightly on his lips while he mischievously pranced about in the dance room. Today was one of those days.
When Professor had slipped the record onto the play, dropping the needle onto the very edge and starting it, Minho had chosen to let his body go heavy, relying on you to haul him around like a giant, weighted ragdoll. You knew he wasn't tired, just judging by the look in his eyes.
"Give it up," you tugged him roughly in one direction, then again towards another, feet hardly following the steps the class was taught the past few weeks. If Minho let his body grow just a bit limper than it already was, his head would have fallen directly onto your shoulder. If you were being honest, you didn't want any attention from anyone else in the room, "Lee Minho, I'm not in the mood for this today, okay?"
Minho's ears perked at the foreign tone that had slipped from your lips, sensing that you were being serious. You would tell him to quit it most days, but never with that tone; It was no fun if you weren't fighting back. Sighing quietly, he had picked his body up and started to follow the eight-count that Professor Shin was practically yelling out.
This minor change didn't go unnoticed by you, feeling his body grow lighter just moments after you'd ask him to quit it. Did he just…?
Other students in the room were surprised that you two were going more than thirty seconds without arguing like a married couple. Many sets of eyes didn't bother leaving the both of you, watching what would happen next in the twist of events.
Minho's feet carried his body swiftly; for the first time, he was guiding you like he was supposed to, but his eyes were glued to his feet, not wanting it to become weird if he were to make accidental eye contact with you. He didn't like how quiet it was between the both of you. The music didn't even do its purpose by filling the silence.
"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Minho asked awkwardly. He twirled you as part of the dance. He recognized that look on your face which was basically a wordless reply, "That was probably a dumb question." Shaking his head, Minho mentally slapped himself. Never in his life did he fail with words.
"Of course I'm going," you replied rather expressionless, "Why would I not?" You were almost as confused as earlier. Minho trying to make a civilized conversation. Who the fuck was this? It wasn't Minho.
He shrugs, "I don't know… I guess you have a date…?" Minho, what the fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the stone floor would swallow him wholly to take him away from this situation.
As puzzled as you were, you still decided to keep the conversation as it was, "Nope… I think I'm just going with Felix for fun." You tried to keep your tone calm when really you were freaking out. The only thing was you had no idea why you were freaking out, "Y-you?" Facepalm.
"No one."
None of you chose to speak after, not knowing where the conversation was going. The song was slowly reaching the end, which you had wished came sooner. Minho's hands were growing sweaty, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe your hand off. It was getting hot in the room too. Your collar was growing tight, throat itching for water.
Minho's heart was beating a bit too fast for his liking, but it was probably because he was growing tired from the moving. He wondered if you could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. Embarrassing.
"Final counts!" Professor Na called out before the static of the record player replaced the music. The two of the professors had clapped in adoration, overlooking all the students in the room.
Professor Shin had a broad smile on her face, "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Best one so far!" She twirled in place, "Thank you everyone! The Yule ball is in two weeks so I am very pleased with the effort you all are putting into this class! Remember we still have the final class in which you are graded, which I'm sure you all will ace."
"I couldn't care less," Minho mumbled, only so you could hear.
You turn to him, squinting your eyes and tilting your head to express your slight frustration, "You know I'm your partner right?"
"Oh no~ really?," he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "And?"
"And? I don't want to fail this class, even though I'm forced to dance with you," you stated, "So don't you fucking dare fail us both." That tone in your voice was evident once again, catching Minho off guard. The only reason that it had this effect on him was that he was so used to you choosing to fight back. It was like some sort of reminder that everyone around him was getting old, and soon all those around him were expected to be serious.
Nevertheless, Minho shrugs to annoy you, "Whatever."
Instead of answering, you eyed him once more. Your dancing just a few moments ago says otherwise.
You had practically sighed out the total capacity of your lungs as you hung onto Felix's arms on the way out the door.
"What are you sighing about?" He chuckled.
"You already know," you elbowed him.
Felix rolled his eyes and sang, "I saw you guys dancing earlier~."
You pushed him away gently, shock littering your face and posture, "What the bloody hell are you on about now, Lee?"
"You guys actually look cute together when you aren't babbling and all," he grinned innocently. Your heart had the audacity to skip a beat, startling you just as much as Felix did.
"Cute?" You scoffed, "First you said you think he liked me, now this? Are you his wingman or something? Are you trying to get me to like him?"
Felix skipped in his step, "I don't even talk to Minho, Y/N, don't be ridiculous… wait… did you basically just say you're starting to like him?" He gasped, hand slapping over his mouth, which had fallen in shock.
"No," you say flatly.
"Liar," Felix poked at your rib, "Liar. At least confess that you find him less bad."
"Sure, whatever makes you happy, Felix."
When you had fallen out of Felix's line of sight, you let the corner of your mouths turn up slightly. He said we looked cute, you think, only followed by you flicking yourself in the temple.
-
"I thought you were staying here until it closed?" you frown at Felix, who started gathering his stuff. You both had planned on cramming everything in for a test the next day, but plans didn't go as planned when Felix was eager to go back to the dormitories to sleep until the morning.
"My eyes are going to fall out of their sockets if I don't go and sleep, Y/N," he pats your head as if he were talking to a young child, "You can stay if you want. I know how much you hate studying in the common room." He double-checks his area to ensure he hadn't forgotten any of his belongings before patting your head once more. He grins and turns towards the door of the library, leaving you sitting alone at the table.
"Felix ~" You called out quietly, only for him to wave with his back facing you. You sighed and slumped back in your chair, resting your arms on the handles. Libraries were so much better when you had company.
The words in the textbook were starting to turn into blobs of ink, and for a second, you were thinking about following in Felix's footsteps. After moments of consideration, you shook your head and sat up. You'll stay, even if it was against the will of your fatigue self that had been prompting you to leave. This was all your fault anyway. Procrastination was a cruel thing.
Hunching forward, you let your eyes trace over the words, trying to process the information. You rewrote the info you wished to remember carelessly. Your notes resembled chicken scratch, but at this point, you didn't care because it was simply supplementary to your studying. The sun was close to its horizon, and the library was close to empty. It was somewhat more motivating.
Slowly the information had started to get more interesting. It was easier to run through the key terms and ideas listed in the textbook, and you could feel the exhaustion simply leaving your body. I'll finish this one last chapter and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.
Your focus on the book had hindered your peripheral vision that the presence of another wizard floating over your shoulder went unnoticed. It was only until they had sat down next to you when you finally noticed.
You jumped in your seat, eyes growing wide. You had luckily suppressed your scream with your hand, which you had, out of defense, swung forward, slapping the person in the chest.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You don't sneak up on people like that, Minho," you rolled your eyes at the Slytherin, shifting away from him before turning your attention back towards the textbook. He scooches closer with intentions of irritating you, pushing his face towards your book, "What are you doing?"
You push him away and stick one of the thicker books between you both, "What does it look like?"
"Studying?"
"You're smarter than I thought, Lee Minho," sarcasm dripped from your voice as you glared at him. Attempting to continue with the final chapter, you miserably fail when Minho interrupts your concentration by tapping his fingers loudly against the wooden table.
"Don't you have anything better to do?" you say numbly, voice muffled by your robe, "I was literally just sitting here and you decide to do this."
Minho shrugs and uses his arms as a makeshift pillow, "I was bored, saw you, here I am, I'm here to stay."
Your eyebrows furrowed at the fact that Minho decided to 'spend time with you upon seeing you. You had no idea whether to feel flattered or irritated, but you knew you were confused. He could've just gone back to the Slytherin dungeons to sit with his housemates, but he saw you and decided to sit with you.
Staring blankly at the bookshelves across from you, you huffed out the corner of your mouth, blowing a stray strand of hair by your cheek. You did say you wanted company. You just weren't sure if it was Minho's company that you wanted. Glancing down briefly at him, and looked back up to the bookshelves.
"Fine," you say after pondering about the idea.
Minho's ears perked up, raising his brows, "Fine?"
"Just don't be loud."
Minho's head tilts in confusion, though he still complies, sitting next to you patiently. You continued to read through the final chapter, which you had underestimated in length. The chapter was a good half a centimetre in thickness. Though it didn't seem as much at first glance, the pages were practically dipped in ink, words covering it from one corner to the other.
You could feel your eyes grow heavy as you delve deeper into the chapter. Your bed was calling for you, but there was no way you were going to give. Not until this chapter was finished.
The library had been silent except for the occasional click of the pen from the librarian's desk. You had been mentally counting down the number of pages left to skim over, eager to feel that feeling of satisfaction you usually get once you finish a task. It was the same feeling as crossing or checking off a chore on a to-do list.
Minho had settled his eyes on the centre of your book, keeping them steady even as you flipped the pages. He felt the lids of eyes gradually get heavier as each page went by, and by the time you shut the book in delight, he had fallen asleep.
"Again?" You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last time he had fallen asleep in your presence. You darted your eyes away from his dormant figure, not making that same mistake twice, "Minho, wake up."
He stirs right away, head rising from his arms. This time he says nothing, pushing himself off of the library's chair before stumbling over his own feet as he makes his way to your side. He looked like a toddler, and it was admittedly adorable.
"Why didn't you just go straight to the dorms if you were tired," you snorted at his dumbassery. Some students still littered the halls even if curfew was nearing. Instead of parting from your side at the library's entrance, Minho stuck by your side.
"I wanted to spend time with you outside of class," he grumbles. He blinks at the long corridor in front of you two, eyes barely staying open from exhaustion.
Feeling your heart skip a beat, you tried to pick out if he was joking or not, but his tone screamed, 'I'm tired.' Any other emotion was hard to comb out, so you sighed and shook your head, pressing your lips into a smile, "Sleep that cheesiness off, Lee Minho."
Minho continued to walk next to you, silent and confused about what you just had said. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was well aware of what he just said. Nonetheless, he subtly walked you to the kitchen corridor, parting ways with you with an uttered 'goodbye.'
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vi.
Sitting against the stone wall, you watched the rest of the class carry out the dance routine, formation changes and all. You ran through it with them, only mentally as your partner was nowhere to be found, and the class was halfway done.
There were barely any classes left before the final graded run through, and Minho really thought it'd be funny to skip? You would have let it pass if you guys weren't the worst duo in the room, but you guys are the worst duo in the room, which made the situation different.
"Professor Na," You asked quietly, "Has Lee Minho been excused from today's class. Is he ill?" You didn't want to jump to conclusions, keeping in mind that people did have their own reasons. Maybe he had caught a cold or was doing a missed exam that was far more important than dancing.
"No word from Minho, Y/N," the professor hummed back.
You frowned and thanked him, turning back to the main dance floor, students moving in sync. Where was he?
Just as you had finished your train of thought, the door had swung open just like it probably did on the first day of class. Minho stumbled in, hair a mess and a rather sheepish smile stamped on his lips.
"I apologize Professors," he bowed deeply, following the perimeter of the room. He bowed again as he reached the two instructors at the front of the room.
Professor Shin stopped her counting, "No need to apologize to us, apologize to your partner." She gestured towards you, already looking back. Minho nodded and approached you, though when he did reach you, he didn't apologize.
"And?"
"And what?" Minho ridiculed.
"Aren't you going to apologize like what the Professor asked?" You tried not to laugh at how Minho had been acting.
Minho let out a cackle, “No? Why should I? Can you stand up so we can start dancing or something?" His hand was itching to reach out for yours, feeling like he should pull you towards him, but he hindered himself from doing so, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Instead of pushing the apology out of him, you decided against it, not wanting to waste any of your time, "Why are you even late?"
The two of you followed the crowd, joining in at the perfect time. Minho smirked, "Worried about me or something? I know I'm in your head twenty-four seven, but I didn't expect you to be so obvious about it."
Tightening your grip around his hand, you gritted your teeth, "I wasn't worried about you, nitwit."
"Then why are you asking?"
"Because you made me sit, doing nothing for nearly forty-five minutes?" You reply as if you were pointing out the obvious, "So why are you late and coming to class looking like a mountain troll?"
"Wow, ouch," he sighed, "I slept in. Am I going to hell for doing so? Because I can recall you did the same the first day and got us into this mess."
"This is about you, not me," you applied pressure onto his hands, causing him to stumble back slightly, ruining the rhythm he had built up. He furrowed his brows at you and did the same, only you were somehow ready for it.
"Oh please," Minho rolls his eyes, "You've done the same so you shouldn't even be mad at me."
"I'm only frustrated, not mad, there's a difference," you point out, "And I'm frustrated because we have that graded dance next week. If we fail, it's going to be your fault."
"It takes two to tango," he quoted, "And you already know where I stand on that. I don't ca-"
"Shut up, the professors are looking," you warned, flashbacks to the three weeks you had to polish the floors.
Minho laughed slightly, letting air blow out of his nose. He let his eyes drift down at you, keeping them there for a little too long.
"What?"
"Nothing," he shrugged, spinning you along with the other students, "You just looked way too terrified." The next move had the two of you closer than the initial space between you.
"I don't want to be spending an extra three hours with you after classes polishing the floor," you retort sharply. Instead of holding eye contact with him, you stared at the Slytherin crest on his uniform.
"I know you liked spending time with me, don't lie," he rolled his eyes teasingly.
"I'm not lying."
"You staring at me says otherwise."
"Oh hush about that already, I literally told you that I wasn't staring at you," Inwardly cringing, you felt relief once the music had stopped. You stepped back and eyed down the boy in front of you, "Why do keep bringing that up?"
Before Minho could give reasoning, Professor Na had spoken up from across the room, reminding everyone that the next class was the graded class. Though they wouldn't be strict with grading, he still wanted to see the students' effort 'flowing'. After a chorus of groans, class ended, allowing you to avoid Minho and find your way to Felix.
-
Someone tapping your shoulder had woken you up, head jolting up as if you were frightened.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chaeryeong gasped sheepishly. She was hovering over you slightly, eyes wide. She was changed into her nightwear.
You sat up, only now realizing you had fallen asleep in the common room, "It's alright. What time is it?" You didn't even remember how you fell asleep, but you sure did have a good sleep.
"It's almost midnight," she replied, "I needed to grab water from the kitchen, then I saw you here and figured it'd be more comfortable for you to go to sleep in your own bed rather than this tiny couch."
You grinned, "Thanks Chae… I'll probably get something from the kitchen as well."
She nods and mumbles out a quick goodnight before disappearing to the girls' dorms. You return her farewell before standing up, eyes drawn to the wrinkles your nap had made on your robe. Attempting to straighten the robe and yourself out, you stumbled towards the Hufflepuff house entrance, exiting promptly.
The fireplace had been lit, a few house elves roaming about and carrying out their own duties. They paid no mind to you, as midnight snacks weren't out of the ordinary for Hufflepuffs.
You asked for what you needed, then was given it with no delay, "Thank you." The house elf nods before turning away with a grunt.
You sit at one of the tables, zoning out as you stared at the blazing fire across from you. School was getting a bit more stressful than it usually has, which was probably the reason why you had fallen asleep without knowing. You remember coming back from a long library visit. Maybe you collapsed on the couch once you did.
You made mental notes on the work still yet to be done before the following week, spontaneously creating a headache. Standing up, you figured it was best for you to go back to sleep. Slipping the dish into the sink, you started making your way back to the dorms.
You rubbed your temples and shook your head as you closed your eyes. It probably hadn't been a good idea to be wandering with your eyes closed as you had immediately bumped into something firm.
"Y/N?"
Looking up, you came face to face with Lee Minho, who was just as shocked as you were. He had been dressed down in a knitted Slytherin sweater and pyjama pants.
"Minho? What in the world?"
He backs up after noticing how close you were to each other, "Could say the same 'bout you."
"My dorms are right there," you point just down the corridor, "While yours is in the dungeon…"
Minho blinks before he tries to move around you, eyes avoiding yours.
"What are you doing here?" you grab his wrist, eager to find out why he was roaming the halls. It wasn't unusual for students to be breaking the rules, especially Minho, who loved living up to the stereotypes of a Slytherin. He smirks at the skinship, which prompts you to let go of him, heat rising up to your cheeks without warning. You're suddenly glad it's dim around the two of you.
"I was… taking a walk," he successfully pushes past you and into the kitchen, a glass of water already there for him. He thanks the house elf, leaving the glass, before turning back to you. By the looks of it, it seems like he's been doing this before, like a routine.
Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Taking a walk? You're painfully awful at lying." And the pause in his speaking gave that away. You followed behind him, expecting an honest answer as if you deserved to know.
"Weren't you just leaving?"
"But my question is unanswered," you shrugged.
"I answered you, I was taking a walk," he pushed the answer. Putting the cup down, he turned to you, "I have… sleeping problems."
"You just lied again," you nonchalantly, "Just tell me the truth. No judgment. A Hufflepuff's promise." You weren't usually one to push an answer out of someone, but this situation was different.
"You say no judgment but I already know how you're going to react to the truth," he takes another sip of water.
"So you were lying!" You raised your brows, "I knew it!"
"You don't deserve the truth," he sighs. Finishing the cup of water, he starts to make his way out, not even turning to look back.
"Lee Minho!" You groaned. Maybe it was your fatigue self or the fact this felt like some sort of game, but you weren't holding yourself back, "When I said I wouldn't judge, I won't. My mind's open to whatever you're going to say."
Minho spins around to face you, stumbling backward a few more steps before he halts, "I was practicing the dance steps."
No judgment.
The flat expression on Minho's face indicated that he had no intentions of lying this time. He had his hands hiding behind his back, eyeing you just to see if you would live up to your promise. Instead of his expected reaction, he finds you smiling, something he'd only see when you were around your friends.
"Wipe that smile off of your face, bumblebee," he mutters.
"Didn't you say you didn't care about that class?" you quoted, a smirk slowly replacing your smile, "Why are you practicing the steps?"
Minho licked his lips. He was at a loss of words, nothing but the truth occupying his mind… Why the hell not?
"Because you care."
You blinked back at him, lips parting and meeting several times as you tried to find the right words to say. The silence was deafening. "What?"
"Because you care," Minho repeated. He kept his expression still, eyeing you, trying to figure out how you were taking this in.
How would he further explain it? He didn't know. All he knew was that ever since that specific moment between the both of you the other day, he took it upon himself to better his partner dancing. He didn't want anyone else knowing, not you, and especially not his housemates, which was why he chose to stay up late to do this; it was the real reason why he had shown up late to class.
You weren't sure if it was because it was quiet, but you could easily hear your heartbeat as it quickened. You try to cover up the fact that you wanted to freak out, "I don't know whether I should laugh or–"
"Yeah, whatever, shouldn't have told you in the first place," he mumbles. For some reason, he felt his heart lub-dub in a way that it shouldn't. He frowned and sighed, "Just forget it."
"Wait, Minho," you call quietly. He stopped in his tracks and turned, partially facing the wall and facing you. He stared back at you with a vacant look, waiting for you to say something. If you weren't going to be saying something nice, he didn't want to hear it after exposing himself like that.
"'Because you care?'" you frowned, "You can't just say that and leave." You already made up a possible answer to the countless questions through your mind, but it was still unclear whether or not that was it.
"What else do you want me to say?" Minho stuffs his hands into his pockets.
"I just want you to explain it," you reply quietly.
Minho glanced out the window sitting by you both before sitting down on its pane, "Remember that other day… when I told you I didn't care?" You nod and move closer to where he sat, unsure whether or not you should sit next to him or not, "I don't know… you were really serious back then… I guess I wasn't used to that. So I figured…"
There was a quick moment of silence before he huffs, almost sounding defeated.
"Did you know that I genuinely don't dislike you as much as you think I do?" He says out of the blue, throwing you off. You wanted to tell him to sleep it off again—why did moments like this always happen at night?
"I don't either," you say back, "At first I did… but I matured."
"I only ever argued with you out of amusement. You're the only person outside of Slytherin that could out-talk me and it bothered me for some reason," he laughed as if he recalled a memory.
"Me intimidating a Slytherin? Just wait til the others hear about this," you joke. He glanced towards your direction and saw a clever glint in your eye.
"Don't you dare," he holds back a smile before standing up to face you directly, "Or…"
"Or what?" You challenged, "Imagine how Seungmin would react! Donghyuck and Renjun? What about Yeosang and Wooyoung?" You start listing the other well-known Slytherins off of the top of your head, holding back a laugh as you watch Minho's face crumble into an expression that looks far too close to fear.
Minho recollects himself and shakes some sense into himself, "Or I'll make you go to the Yule Ball with me." He hadn't planned on asking you today, but the timing was perfect. It fit with the situation. If you were to react unfavourably, then he could just joke about it.
His question shut you up. Your eyes widened at him as you processed what he had used as a threat, "What if I want to go to the Yule Ball with you?"
Minho takes a step towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips. His confidence was skyrocketing, and you can tell, "Then I guess it's a date?"
Rolling your eyes, you let a smile grace softly onto your lips, nodding, "It's a date."
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Bonus:
"I told you to wear something with gold," you whined jokingly as you were greeted with Minho, who had completely dodged your request. Instead of the black and gold look you were going for, he decided to wear a black suit that had traces of emerald. As much you wanted to match with your date, you had to admit that he still looked as handsome as ever in the attire. He looked like a prince.
"And look like a Hufflepuff? No thanks," he scoffed teasingly. He pulls out a corsage, one that matches the clothes he wore, tying it gently around your wrist, "You look very beautiful."
"Well, you look very handsome."
Minho laughed as he sticks out his forearm, a brow raised in your direction. Music being played by the live band had been spilling out of the ballroom; the voices of everyone attending gave the ball more life. It was exciting.
"Minho!" Seungmin had called. Felix, who had slipped from your side the moment Minho approached you, was standing by Seungmin, smiling brightly. He had been hyping you up the entire night, telling you that there should be nothing to worry about.
He was right.
"Shall we?" Minho asked. It was cheesy, but it worked.
"We shall."
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Hope you enjoyed it! A like would be appreciated <3
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ssa-sugar-tits · 4 years ago
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Don't Call Me Princess.
Request: this one
can you do a spencer x reader one where reader replaces jj as communications liason and while she and spencer are at a press conference a reporter keeps making sleazy comments at her so Spencer tells him off
Request #2: private message
A prompt: "Don't call her princess" and maybe add it to the sleazy reporter request you answered? You don't have to obviously
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Content warnings: a couple of swears, verbal sexual harassment, and a r*pe mention
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From the second you stood at the podium, you saw him and it disgusted you. A reporter in the front row was very obviously mentally undressing you and thinking about god knows what other things, which would normally not have bothered you. You're used to perverts hitting on you, nothing new. But right now, your boyfriend is standing right next you and he has a tendency to get insecure. You've never understood how he could possibly be jealous or insecure, he's amazing and you're all his. There's no competition because of one reason. You love him. He has the best mind and personality. You absolutely love all his quirks and passions and everything about him. He makes you feel happy and safe, something no one else could ever do. And of course he happens to be the most attractive man you've ever met. He doesn't quite seem to believe it but if Spencer Reid doesn't get you going... You can see him eyeing the reporter but he doesn't say a word. He seems off-put, letting his hair fall right in front of his face and gazing down. Wanting to get down and leave as soon as you can, you start to give the profile.
"My name is Agent Y/L/N, this is our initial profile. We're looking for a white male in his early 20s, he's attractive and able to-"
You're cut off by the reporter who was checking you out earlier. His smirk makes you want to smack it right off of his face.
"Sounds like you're describing a guy like me, princess. Why don't I take you to dinner and we see if I'm the guy you're looking for?" His comment earns laughs from the onlooking crowd and even other reporters. You ignore him and clear your throat, not daring to look at your boyfriend. You knew he'd be bothered and it would only sadden you to see it.
"He's able to overpower his victims but we believe he's impotent due to his weapon of choice and-"
The dick cuts you off again. You're going to lose your patience if he keeps doing this.
"Impotent? Okay you lost me there, princess. I'd love to show you just how different we are in that area." Your blood boils and you finally look to Spencer who's fists are clenching, blood rushing to his knuckles. His cheeks are flushing bright red and his eyes are narrowed at the dick reporter. Not being able to continue and ignore his bullshit, you look at him sternly.
"What I'm saying is important. Now can you pay attention? And don't call me princess. Back to what I was saying, he has a menial job and most likely has had many reprimands in the past relating to sexual harassment and possibly assault accusations. If you know anyone fitting this description, contact law enforcement immediately and do not under any circumstances..." You trail off as the reporter scoffs and retorts.
"Sorry princess." Breathing heavy and pissed off, you repeat yourself.
"As I was saying," You say pointedly, irritation shining through. "Do not under any circumstances attempt to-" But this time, you're cut off and it's not by the reporter whose gaze was wandering and scanning your body. It's Spencer who must have also noticed his eyes landing on your breasts and the way he licked his lips.
"You in the first row, keep your damn comments and eye-screwing to yourself." He snaps. "There are women being raped and murdered, no one has time for your sleazy comments or acts right now. The FBI would greatly appreciate it if you did your job and helped us catch this bastard instead of sexually harassing a federal agent while she's trying to do her job. Stop interrupting and I believe she told you, don't call her princess. Have I made myself clear?"
Taken aback at first, he sheepishly nods and avoids eye contact with either of you. Finally giving the rest of the profile uninterrupted, you finish and step off the podium with Spencer. He starts to say something but you grab his hand and interwine it with your fingers before giving him a rough kiss, silencing whatever he was about to say. You fall back a little from the effect of attacking his tongue with yours and smile.
"Thank you Spence."
"You're not upset?"
You blink twice, not understanding what you would possibly be upset about but the look in his eyes tells you he really feels like he did something wrong.
"At you? Of course not, what makes you say that?"
"I interrupted your profile and it was in all fairness unprofessional of me to do that."
A blank stare stood on your face before you broke out in laughter.
"You are the dumbest genius I've ever met. You saved me from a pervert and looked hot doing it, what more could I possibly want?"
A gorgeous grin spread across his face.
"In that case, you're very welcome Y/N."
Pecking his lips again, you smile against his mouth and he shares the same sweet beaming gesture before pulling you in to press more warm kisses on you.
"I love you so much." You say softly.
"I love you too." He returns. Startling him a bit, you pull away, turning your head to look around you. Just like you suspected, the reporter from earlier was glaring at you both.
"I think Dickhead with Channel 7 knows that now too."
Spencer laughs. He pulls you up to his face to caress your lips with his one last time and you take his hand in yours before finally walking back inside the precinct. You're sure the sleazebag knows not to interrupt and especially: not to call you princess.
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xthunderbolt · 4 years ago
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Servamps might be victims of their respective sin - a kind of a [longish] theory
So we've seen how each servamp seems to have a certain quirk, and you'd think that they come from the sin that was assigned to them. Like Hugh acting all high and mighty because he's Pride, Lily stripping because he's Lust, Ildio being hungry because he's Gluttony and so on.
But the thing is that Servamp already showed us that those sins aren't what they seem. All of them came from traumas - or what we were shown till now were, and we might learn about Gluttony now too.
But listen.
What if those sins were assigned to them because they're actually victims of them?
You know like, Kuro is a victim of sloth. Hugh is a victim of pride. Jeje is a victim of envy. Freya is a victim of wrath. Lawless is a victim of greed. Ildio is a victim of gluttony. Lily is a victim of lust.
And their quirks not only come from that thing - that trauma, but what if the reason they persisted was because that was the last thing they felt as humans?
For example look, Kuro is Sloth, yeah? And says he wants to die. It's true that in the last few chapters he didn't say it with words, but look at his body language. He still feels that way. I mean I know that recovery doesn't happen so quickly - and I'm actually happy that Tanaka makes this seem so realistic - but the fact that it's still there it's what matters now.
Sloth, laziness, wanting to die are things that people assign to mental illnesses. Depression especially. And look, I know this shit is wrong, but just ignore what people say about depression, I'm just trying to explain things from everyone's perspective, in as simple words as possible.
So you know how those shitty people always say that depressive people are lazy, yeah? And let's remember that during Kuro's era, when mental illnesses were unheard of and unknown, things were even worse than a simple laziness. Hell, some people were even seen as possessed but whatever, back to our story.
And so maybe Kuro went through those things and died of suicide. And I think that because look at his smile here for a bit, especially his eyes.
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Doesn't it seem sad? Doesn't it look like a sad smile? Or a hurt smile, however you wanna see it. To me it seems like a goodbye smile. It's that kind of smile that says "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me." It's like the kind of smile that people give you before they... kill themselves.
And so Kuro wants to die because that's what he felt in his last moments as a human.
And all these things also go for the other servamps, like...
Hugh, a victim of pride - a child who was victim of pride. If he's really a child and not just some man with a disease that makes him smol. But as a child, maybe his parents were these prideful people who made him feel as if he's never enough and has to always try his best to be better than everyone and reach their expectations. And so this wish, this need of his to be seen and recognized for his worth, or as someone who's strong, transfered into this need to be seen and recognized as someone who makes everyone "tremble and shiver" before him, because that's what he felt until his last breath as a human.
Ildio, a victim of gluttony, is always hungry because that's the last thing he felt as a human - hunger. I don't have enough info about him to theorize a potential lifestyle, but he could even have been starved by an asshole or something similar, who knows?
Then there's Lily, oh dear. Lily, who might be a victim of lust, a victim of sexual abuse, someone who shows his body because in his last moments as a human he didn't care about it anymore. He didn't care about himself anymore. In his last moments as a human he just felt like an object meant to be used and thought "if my body is meant to be used, then I'll give it to you myself". And yes, that's common in rape or sexual abuse survivors. Don't trust those those movies or stories who tell you that they only cry in the shower and don't let people touch them. It's bullshit. You won't even recognize a rape survivor unless you look very closely at their behavior.
But there's also another quirk Lily has. Taking care, protecting, saving children. And I'm sorry if I triggered or will trigger someone with this, but I think that this comes from sexual abuse too. The abuse might have started as a child and so now he wishes to prevent other children from going through what he's been through.
Next.
We don't know much about Jeje yet, but as a victim of Envy, I just hope he wasn't killed because sometimes envy can do that to people. It's also sad to think about.
Freya, a victim of wrath, omg I'm scared to even think about what horrors she might have been through as a victim of wrath. Might have been something so cruel that it turned her into this tenebrous looking woman. Something that took away her light and left her looking ready to murder, when she's in fact not angry, she's cool. She's cool, just hurt.
And all the servamps are just hurt like that and I'm not even surprised that some of them hate the fact that they've been brought back to life so much. They're basically reliving, refeeling, their traumas every single day. And they do it under the label that brought them that suffering. They're like reminders of the nightmares they've lived rather than some fancy, cool titles.
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mellometal · 3 years ago
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Hello. This is really what Dhar Mann decided to do...again. Welp, the first video you did about LGBT people in sports was SO good, right? That you decided to make ANOTHER video about LGBT people and fuck that up too??? Real appropriate timing, Dhar Mann. Because it's the end of Pride Month and tomorrow is the start of Wrath Month.
Let's talk about it, shall we?
Before I begin, this will be talking about homophobia, being forced to come out of the closet, blackmailing, and outing of closeted LGBT people. In my response, it touches on assault, murder, execution, abuse, discrimination, fetishization of the LGBT community, harassment, and how being LGBT was once considered a mental illness. If any of that is triggering for you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, please feel free to scroll to other content that sparks joy for you.
To sum up the video, there is a gay boy (Pete) who's running for president (presumably student body) again, he's handing out flyers, and he's having a grand old time. His boyfriend (Julian) is being ever so supportive. To be honest, I've NEVER seen anyone in school handing out flyers to get elected in the student body. A student body, for anyone not familiar, is basically the group that "speaks for the students". Best way I can describe it.
Then some guy (Frank) comes up to him in the hallway to intimidate him...OVER A STUPID SCHOOL ELECTION. The terribly written, sorry excuse for a bully then takes Pete's flyers out of his hands, sees there's a rainbow on them, and calls them gay before throwing them on the ground. That's after Pete told Frank to give them back. Frank then asks if Pete and Julian are dating. Pete, being closeted, says no, and that Julian is his friend. Frank then leaves after intimidating Pete some more. Julian is offended that Pete referred to him as a friend, despite Pete explaining why he did that...y'know, because he's NOT READY TO COME OUT AS GAY and he was trying to protect himself and his boyfriend. (What the fuck did you want him to do, Julian? Come out when he obviously wasn't ready to just to make YOU happy? Pete was trying to protect you and himself, Julian! I understand that you want to be shown off by your boyfriend, but I really think that your safety is more important than being shown off.)
When Pete and Julian are at a restaurant together, Frank JUST SO HAPPENS to be at that same restaurant. Pete and Julian don't know that until later. Frank takes a picture of them just holding hands...which, why would you do that? I've actually seen posts of REAL PEOPLE taking pictures of their classmates (without their knowledge or consent), posting them online, and shipping them together. It's not a good look. It's fucking gross.
Frank tells Pete that he saw them (he and Julian) at the restaurant, shows Pete that he made flyers of the picture HE TOOK OF THEM, and uses it as blackmail. He threatens to out Pete when he already publicly outed him in the fucking hallway, which brings me back to the dumpster fire that is Glee...because Gary Stu (Finn) outed Santana as lesbian in the hallway WITHIN EARSHOT OF EVERYONE. That where you got your inspiration from, Dhar Mann? If so, it's fitting because Glee is a shitty show, and you're a shitty person. A match made in heaven.
Julian notices Pete is distressed. He says he has to drop out of the race because of Frank threatening to out him to the school if he doesn't.
How does the video end? Well, Frank gives his speech that is just D*n*ld Tr*mp type beat bullshit, Pete pretty much says he has to drop out of the race, the students go wild on Frank because he's a homophobe and called another gay student a fruit, Pete forces himself to come out as gay, the students are going wild, and he's elected as the student body president! WHOOP-DEE-FUCKIN-DOO.
This video is an absolute piece of infuriating shit. Enough said. I'll tear this video to shreds and put my response down.
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I get the message they're trying to go for here, but there's a big issue with this! THERE ARE STILL MANY PLACES AROUND THE WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BE ARRESTED AND EVEN EXECUTED FOR BEING LGBT! DHAR MANN, YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT BEING LGBT AND YOU NEVER WILL BECAUSE YOU'RE A CISHET MAN! DO SOME BETTER RESEARCH IF YOU'RE GONNA DO VIDEOS LIKE THIS, OH MY FUCKING GOD! Not everywhere is like the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, Germany, and other countries where it's safe to be openly LGBT! You don't believe me? Look it up! (Obviously at your own risk. There's A LOT of triggering, upsetting things that happen to LGBT people in other countries.) Getting discriminated against, harassed, assaulted, and murdered for being LGBT? Yes, that all still happens around the world. Even in places where being LGBT is legal and not considered a crime. Like the United States!
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Oh, wow! Taking pictures of people without their knowledge just so you can have some "dirt" on them for a stupid student body election. That'll help. /s Blackmailing an innocent person for who they are? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. Good job! How's that working out for you?
Maybe instead of jacking your raging homophobe self off, you worry about the fact you look like and act like D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son and you fix yourself, Frank. Take the log out of your own eye before you try to pull the twig out of someone else's eye. Just a thought!
Also, I could make a better flyer than a picture with a big red x. So creative. I expected more out of D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son. Fucking top tier. You couldn't top this off if you tried! /s
Onto my response! It's a long one, just fair warning.
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If you're in the closet because it's not safe for you to be out as LGBT where you live, you're so valid and I love you. /p Come out on your own terms. Don't fall for peer pressure. For anyone who's been outed before, I'm so sorry, I feel you, and I know what that's like. I've been there before. It sucks. It's scary. I hope you're doing better, if that's ever happened to you.
Dhar Mann, you will NEVER know what it's like to be LGBT. You will never begin to understand what the LGBT community has gone through and is STILL going through. Don't act like you do just because you probably watched one YouTube video about the LGBT community. You're a cishet man who's also a cringe ass nae-nae baby. Why don't you LISTEN to the real people you're hurting with these videos?
Here are a few suggestions you can do instead!:
Talk to actual people in the LGBT community!
Attend pride events to show support.
Read up on their history.
Support LGBT creators.
Donate to the community.
Happy Wrath Month, everyone!
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago
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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Five [PT. 1]
Part Eighty-Five [PT. 2]
Words: 5.5k
Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse
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NIKKI
My lawyer looks completely unimpressed with my lack of shoes, shirt, and dignity as he leans back in his chair behind his desk, rubbing his temples. 
"It doesn't work like that, Nikki, I'm afraid." He informs me finally, sitting up and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. 
"I was declared dead for two minutes. I died. My wife's technically a widow." 
"You can't annul a four year marriage on the basis of 'I died for two minutes.' Some cases of actual death, it can take an act of congress for widow or widower to have an annulment for a marriage where their spouse is no longer alive, legitimately." He explains and I roll my eyes. 
"So, what, I just get some divorce papers or something?" 
"Unless I declare mental incapacity given that you went through a traumatic series of events within the last twenty-four hours and this could possibly be a very serious lapse in judgement." He argues and I stare at him.
"Stop pulling my dick." 
"I'm not 'pulling your dick.' I just don't want you to make this decision and then regret it when your head clears." 
I managed to wear him down and by the next morning, he left the papers by Tommy's door after Vince mentioned to me that Viv stayed over there with Tommy and Heather.
When I get home, Karen opens the door and looks at me, wide eyed and confused. 
"H-Hey?" She says as I push past her and go to the phone, opting to change my answering machine. 
"Hey, it's Nikki." I say. "I'm not here because I'm dead." 
Karen just looks at me, astounded, and I go to my room, slamming the door. 
I was good and tired and glutton for punishment because I got home that night and loaded up the biggest shot of smack I could muster and pulled the trigger.
I wake up with a sharp pain in the crook of my arm, a needle still in my skin as blood trails my forearm to collect in my palm...Jesus fucking Christ, I've officially lost it. 
I take the needle out and force myself up to trudge to the living room to check my messages. 
Things like, "You're an asshole," and "that's not funny," tend to be the common theme. 
I guess I need to change my answering machine. 
I comb through to see if I have anything from Viv. 
Now would be a good time to hear her bitch me out for almost making her kill herself--because, lets face it, she's gonna blame it on me, anyway. 
Nothing's found, though. 
"Fuck, Vivian." I sigh out, sitting on the carpet in the living room, rubbing my forehead as a new message comes on…
"You fucker, you would be the one to fucking OD and die and then get up right after and file for divorce as if she doesn't have enough shit going on, already." 
I furrow my brows at the voice. 
"Axl the Twat?" I say aloud, confused, as he finishes with, "fuck you, you fucking fuck." 
He hangs up and I raise my brows. 
Did I die and wake up in a parallel universe? Axl defending Vivian? 
Is this hell? 
It cuts to the last message. 
"Hey, umm...I don't know if you'll get this or not or if…" Vanity. "...I don't know what's going on but I heard something terrible on the radio and I suppose it was true--well, kind of, um…" she sighs. "We're not together anymore and I get that I just hope you're o--"
"Fuck that." I grumble, hitting delete. 
I fall back and I look up at myself. 
It's fucked that I bought this fucking house for Viv, and she's not even staying in it anymore. 
I feel like I promised her so much and haven't given a damn thing to her except reasons to want to throw herself off of balconies.
I look down at my arm, dried blood still on my skin. 
I'm fucking tired of this shit. 
I let my complete exhaustion of being sick fuel me to dig through everything I own and throw out all of my rigs, any other drugs in my path, and even pour everything to get drunk off of down the sink--even the fucking cooking-wine. 
Vivian's somewhere catching the holy spirit, probably, just sensing I'm finally fucking done. 
Or she's somewhere in tears over me finally taking the final step to end our relationship. 
I feel like it's dead in every way aside from legal. 
Whisky's laying by the door, whining when I step over him to go throw the big garbage bag out. 
I'd get down there and whine for her, too, but I know this is what needs to be done. 
Our entire relationship has just been one giant clusterfuck, and I don't want to put her through the bullshit of having to try to forgive me and trust me, again. 
I think I've already stolen enough of her peace of mind. 
She'll be happier with Duff, anyway. He's a good guy. A hell of a lot more suited for her than I am. 
My hand rubs the back of my neck and I realize I'm still wearing the small crucifix of her's. 
I'm tempted not to give it back. 
I just sigh and throw the trash out and get back in the house, getting in the shower. 
When I get out, I ruffle a towel through my hair, seeing the light blinking on my answering machine. 
I go over and try to keep myself from getting too excited at the thought of it being Viv before I hit play on my messages. 
"Nikki, it's Doc. I know you feel like horseshit right about now but I need you to come down to the office at 5:00p.m., we're getting you guys together because we need to talk. See you then--preferebly kinda sober and coherent." 
Turns out I'll have my ass chewed by Doc before Viv, after all. 
I know he came down to the hospital and tore Slash and the guys new ones while I was unconscious. 
I'm digging in my garbage for a couple pills to dull down my future shakes that I just know are gonna be coming before sundown. 
Despite being not in shape to fucking drive anywhere, I still go because I know if I don't go, Doc will come here and I don't need him here. 
It's morbid walking into the office to see Vince, Tommy, and Mick sitting and waiting for me while Doc sits behind his desk. 
"Fuck me." I complain out loud, dreading what Doc's about to go on about. 
"Sit." Doc tells me and I plop down beside Tommy, sighing, and Doc waits a minute before saying, "I canceled the European tour."
"What?" Vince asks and Mick furrows his brows. 
"What the fuck, Doc--"
"--Shut the fuck up and listen." He cuts me off while Tommy nervously shakes his leg. "If you bastards go to Europe, one of you will come back in a body bag. And I'm not gonna be the fucking manager that runs Mötley Crüe into the ground." He states harshly. 
"That's a fucking first." I laugh out, meanly, and Doc glares at me. "Guess dead rockstars don't make as much money as alive ones, huh? I coulda told ya that after Razzle--"
"--Nikki." Mick states. 
"Where's my wife?" I snap next. 
"Oh, the one you so stupidly filed for divorce from without giving me a heads up first? Probably with her friends that haven't put her through the ringer and fucked her over time and time again." He states. 
"I didn't know I needed permission to make decisions in my personal life--that have nothing to do with Mötley Crüe." 
"Are you two just gonna argue or are we gonna actually talk about why we're here because I have things to do." Vince grumbles. 
"Tommy came to me and told me he's thinking about rehab." Doc tells us and I glance at Tommy, who's avoiding looking at anybody. "I'm not taking Mötley Crüe on tour again, in a studio, whatever, until you guys get your act together." 
We all look at each other, exhaling, and I rub my lips together. 
"Fine." Vince sighs, and Doc looks at Tommy.
He nods. 
"Nikki?" Doc asks and I just stare at him. 
The guys are gone in a few minutes, leaving just me and Doc and I stand up. 
"I wanna see Viv." I tell Doc as he digs through some files, and he looks up and blinks from behind his desk, 
"She said she's not seeing you until you get help." Doc states. 
"She says that but I bet I could find her tonight and still get her under me in less than three minutes." 
"Assuming she's not still under Duff." Doc says and I tense up. "You think I didn't notice how questionably close they got on tour?" He adds. 
"She's going through a crisis." I reply. 
"Can't imagine why." He mumbles. 
"Just tell me where she's at, Doc." I snap. 
"You look like shit. You need to go home and get some fuckin' rest because you're all checking in tomorrow afternoon." He adds. 
"I'm not going anywhere until I see my wife."
"You mean the wife you filed for divorce from?" He questions and I roll my jaw. "Your wife is resting. You should, too."
1981
I fumble for my key to the apartment, cussing under my breath when I can't get the door opened. 
"Motherfucker." I hiss, finally getting it unlocked and shoving it open…
I slam it shut and toss my keys across the room, hearing Tommy and Vince's room door creak open. 
Vivian crosses her arms, a scowl on her face, her hair tousled from sleep. 
"Could you be any louder?" She snaps, shutting the door behind her, going to the kitchen.
My eyes run up and down her long legs as she heads that way, only in one of Tommy's t-shirts and panties. 
Fuck. Me. 
I go to grab the bottle of Jack on the counter, taking a sip as she gulps some water down, a droplet escaping the glass as she drinks, rolling down her chin to her neck and I watch it, my burning throat getting dry as I try to pull myself together, my prick starting to push against my pants. 
Damnit. 
It's like the sane part of myself is trying to slap the hopelessly horny part of me. 
She's fucking evil, dude, fuck off, I tell myself. 
She's hot. 
You hate each other. 
I wonder what weird shit she's into in bed. 
She's a bitch. You know she's a bitch. Leave her alone. 
Oh, I forgot she's supposedly a virgin.
Go to bed, dumbfuck. GO TO BED. 
That means I get to watch her experience stuff for the first time.
I end up chuckling, amused at the thought of seeing her pretty eyes roll in her head as pleasure bombards her for the first time. 
"What?" She snaps, and I realize I've been staring at her. 
I'm about to answer until I get caught up at the sight of her nipples peering through her shirt...fuck me. 
"Nikki," she shoves at my shoulder, making me take my eyes off of her chest.
She just scoffs. 
"Go touch yourself in the bathroom or something. Jesus." She puts the glass down and walks past me to go back to Tommy's room.
See? Evil. 
I ignore the voice of reason and I catch her wrist and stop her, yanking her closer to me. 
She looks like a deer in headlights for a minute before I'm grabbing at her hair closest to her neck and pulling her to me, kissing her. 
It's a pretty clean kiss, no tongue, no mess, just testing the waters. 
She doesn't push me away or beat me up like I always thought she would do, instead, when I pull away for a moment, she takes a breath, wide eyed, before grabbing me by my jacket, pulling me back in. 
I'm surprised but I don't let it get in the way, taking lead a little to guide her. 
For someone who's never been kissed before (again, allegedly) she's not awful at it like I expected--well, I didn't expect her to be awful because she's never kissed anybody, I expected her to be awful because she's so mean to me. 
Her hands push my jacket off my shoulders and I push my tongue past her lips, coaxing a quiet moan from her. 
Holy shit. 
My hands go to her ass and she grasps at my hair as I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me. 
Just to see if we're on a standard starting basis of common interests, I lift one of my hands and bring it back down, not too hard, but hard enough, and she hums, fucking biting my bottom lip and grinding into me a couple times. 
I have to keep from creaming my pants just by her moving against me. 
You're being stupid, I tell myself, but I can't bring myself to leave her alone now. 
She's been the forbidden fruit or whatever for months now and I just gotta have it. 
I take her to my room and kick the door shut with my foot, taking her to the shitty mattress on the floor. 
I drop her onto it, seeing her in the glow of streetlights. 
"Take your shirt off." I say, lowly, and she rubs her lips together and slowly pulls it over her head, her bare chest exposed and my dick's practically throbbing at this point. 
I take her crucifix in my hand, and she looks down at it as I lick my lips. 
She unfastens it and throws it aside. 
I lean down and kiss her again, trailing down her neck, my tongue against her skin and she gasps out a sharp breath, her hands pulling at my shirt. 
I take it off and she's sitting up and running her palms over my shoulders, down my chest, and I grasp her around her throat, pushing her back to the mattress and I feel a little shiver go up her spine. 
My tongue circles one of her nipples and she lets out bated breaths as I take it between my teeth. 
She moans, loudly, and I move my hand to her mouth. 
"Shh!" I say. "You're gonna wake them up." I add and she nods. 
I do the same to her other breast, with my hand over her mouth, but then I get an idea. 
A glorious, completely selfish idea. 
I take my hand off of her mouth and smirk before kissing the middle of her chest, one of her top ribs, biting into it, hard, making her scratch at my shoulder while covering her own mouth as a sharp moan is forced from her.
I run my tongue over the bite mark and continue down her stomach, stopping at the top of her panties, glancing at her. 
She's still breathing heavy, hands covering her chest, tilting her head to see me. 
I run my hand over her clothed core, a little noise coming from her throat, feeling a big wet spot over her cunt. 
She lifts her hips and starts pulling them down and I take them and discard them, running my fingertips up the inside of her thigh before I rub my thumb around her clit that's slickened wet. 
Her hands jolt to mine between her legs, her back arching, trying her hardest not to be loud. 
I tug her to the edge of the mattress, and grab one of her hands, replacing mine with it before I'm looming over her for a moment. "Touch yourself." I tell her, my lips brushing against hers and I can tell she's blushing under the dark of the room. "C'mon, it's hot, just do what feels good." I add, my lips pressing against hers for a moment before I feel her hand move, a delicate gasp coming from her and I pull my lips from hers to watch her face. 
Her eyes close, her head tilts back while her other hand tangles in her hair. 
I stand up to take my pants off, grabbing at my painfully hard cock when she bucks her hips against her frail fingers. 
"Nikki," she says, eyes still shut, head back, and I rub my hands down my face. 
We haven't even fucked yet and I can already tell she's gonna make me a fucking idiot. 
I get my pants off and run my thumb over my tip and get some precum on it, leaning down and holding it up to her lips. 
"Hold your tongue out," I tell her and she opens her eyes and looks at me, before doing as I say. 
The pad of my thumb rubs it over her tongue and she lets out a satisfied sigh, looking up at me as I lick her spit off my thumb. 
I get back up on my feet for a moment and she gets up and crawls to the foot of the bed, her eyes on my prick, hunger in her eyes…
Nice try, evil bitch, you're not stealing my soul by sucking it through my dick. 
I grab her hair and make her look at me. 
"Lay down." I tell her and doesn't argue, eyes still ravenous…
I kiss up her kneecap to her thigh, sliding up and up until--
"Oh, fuck!" She whimpers out when my tongue swirls her clit around, getting the first taste of Saint Viv. 
My eyes are the ones to roll back, now. 
Holy shit. 
It's good because she's Satan and needs something to trap you with, that little voice comes back. 
Her hands find my hair, her lips find my name and if I don't get ahold of myself, I'll be finding God based on this experience alone.
Apparently she's finding him right now because all she can muster out is, "oh, God." 
I find a good rhythm with my tongue, her pussy starting to grind against my face as teasing, little sultry moans flutter through the room. 
After a minute I feel her body tense up, and I pat myself on the back as she comes, my tongue lapping at her entrance to get drunk off of her, my hands running over her stomach and thighs. 
Vivian claims we just went right into sex without doing anything aside from making out before hand but I distinctly remember going down on her. She must've blacked out once she realized we were about to fool around or something but I remember that happening because it was something I'd dreamed up doing ever since I met her, creepy but honest.
I pry myself from her to grab a rubber behind the head of the mattress, the both of us pulling ourselves up there.
I get it on and turn over, getting on top of her. 
She's already hooking her legs around me before I even line myself up with her. 
She looks like she's high or drunk, eyes nearly shut, her lip between her teeth, her head tilted slightly, exposing her neck. 
I lean down and kiss her neck, her skin damp with sweat and she sighs. 
I rub my tip against her opening and she closes her eyes. 
I push into her, having to coach myself through because fuck her pussy is tight, and she winces, her mouth opening but nothing coming out. I'm about to ask her if she's alright when she speaks first. 
"Take it off." She tells me. 
"What?" 
"The condom, take it off." 
"Are you trying to trap me or something?" I snap at her. 
"I wanna feel you." She tells me softly, and I guess it's kinda sweet, or primal, whatever. 
I pull out of her and take the condom off, dropping it by the bed before I'm pushing back into her. 
We both moan, and I can feel her body stretching to accommodate my entrance, her face showing pain. 
I pullout again, but before I can get out completely, she pulls me back in with her legs, letting out a high pitched breath. 
More of her juices coat over my cock. 
"Fuck, Vivian," I say it, thrusting into her again and she wraps her arms around my back, hugging me to her, and my lips find hers as I push into her again, and again, roughly, the feeling of heaven washing over me each time I go back inside her. 
I make her take every inch, forcing myself to fit the last inch and a half despite her body not having room, and she writhes underneath me. 
"I think I'm bleeding." She tells me breathlessly and I think she wants me to back off or get off her, but when I go to, she says, "No, keep going, it feels good." 
The look on her face is a clear indication that she's into it. 
I'm kind of shocked that churchy Vivian is into the same shit I'm into, and I grab her throat, again, and kiss her, our tongues moving together. 
"I wanna get on top next." She tells me through moans. 
"Why?" I ask. 
"I wanna see it." She says and I furrow my brows for a second before I catch on. 
I'm rolling off of her and onto my back, my hands running up her thighs and waist when she gets on top of me, and I grab myself as she straddles me, pushing it against her before my hands pull  her down onto me. 
She screws her eyes shut, as she sinks down to the hilt, her thighs shaking, and I hit her ass cheek as hard as I can and she gets so tight around me I can't pull out until she relaxes. 
"You can't do that shit." I tell her harshly, biting back my urge to go ahead and come, and she relaxes a little more as my hands hold at her waist, guiding her movements since she's never done this before. 
"Does it feel good?" I ask her, her little moans and whimpers getting me even more hot and bothered. 
"Yes," she nods, tipping her head back. "So good."
I look between us, clear view of her pussy taking it, and I sigh. 
"It looks good, too." I tell her and she leans down over me, her forehead against my chest as she watches me fuck her for a moment before looking at me, kissing me sloppily, her chest pressing against mine making her sigh when her nipples brush against my skin. 
When she pulls away, I'm sticking two fingers in her mouth, taking her by surprise but she starts sucking on them in a second, and I force them down her throat, making her gag, as I start pounding into her, making her nearly shriek out but I gag her with my hand around her throat. 
"You're so pretty." I tell her, spit all down her chin from choking on my fingers, eyes nearly shut, my hand around her throat, and I glance down between us, licking my lips. "That pussy's pretty, too." I add and she cries out when my other hand starts rubbing at her clit. 
I take my hand from her throat and she gasps for air. 
"Nikki, I'm--" 
She can't finish. 
I roll onto her again, getting on my knees and lift her hips, continuing to hammer into her roughly and her eyes go to the back of her head, as her cum soaks the both of us. 
Why the fuck didn't she tell me she can come like that? 
I feel myself reaching my own end and go to pull out but she tugs me onto her, kissing me, her legs snaking around me. 
At first I don't think she realizes I'm about to blow my kids everywhere, then when I try to pullout, she says, "do it in me, I've heard it feels good."
I look at her like she's crazy because it's something I'd never expect her to say. 
"Please, Nikki, let me have it." 
I don't have time to argue because I'm finishing with a grunt and a satisfied smile at the sight of tears of pleasure in her eyes before her lids screw shut, her mouth open as a moan leaves her, her body sparking off with shivers. 
I let her have it.
"You're a slut." I tell her, thrusting into her a couple more times and she hums at my words. 
"Shut up." She says next and I kiss her one last time before rolling off of her. 
She pulls the covers over her chest and closes her eyes, tired, and I watch her for a moment. 
Okay, she may not be a slut, but I know she's gonna be able to get away with murder and I'm gonna let her because she's fucking Vivian. 
I ran myself into my own grave, but heroin and Vivian were major catalysts, but I know I was a catalyst for her own rock bottom, too. We were just too fucking young to know better, I guess. We fell in love and got hooked on playing house without actually stopping to think what all it would look like. Of course, neither of us expected me to be on smack, neither of us expected me to reach the level of stupidity that I reached with Vanity, and neither of us expected her to be conceiving a lovechild while I was next door dying, and I certainly didn't expect to file for divorce first, if at all. I remember that first night together in that shitty apartment got me hooked on her. Not just sex, I actually started listening to what she had to say after that, and wanting to have conversations, and hangout...I fell in love and she made it easy for me to. It was like boiling a frog. Things got worse and worse slowly overtime until BAM! I had Vanity, crack, and junk, and Vivian had Duff and a secret savings account she didn't think our lawyer would get record of. I was pissed, but I knew it was my fault. 
All of it was. 
I had promised her the world and instead stole everything from her like a life-sucking demon. 
She wasn't the evil, manipulative bitch. 
I was.
38 notes · View notes
rnegitsune · 4 years ago
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Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.
I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.
Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one
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After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.
One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.
Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it
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The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.
Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???
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He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.
Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.
The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.
Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.
Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.
I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.
So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.
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theworldsoul · 4 years ago
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Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol
:readmore:
Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.
I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.
I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!
I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.
And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???
What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???
Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?
Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????
I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...
Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...
Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.
And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.
But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????
They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.
Why.
Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!
you wanna know what he made me?
dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?
He made me feel.
That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.
It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"
ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS
Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.
My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.
Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!
Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!
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Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)
.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.
I think I would cry.
Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...
Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???
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liljungie · 5 years ago
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Young Blood | Mafia AU
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▸Pairing : Jimin ↮ Reader ↮ Taehyung.
▸ !warnings!= !mentions of domestic violence!
▸Word count: 3k
▸ Part three : ❝ Ties that bind ❞
▸Masterlist
A/N: can you Please leave me kind messages? I really need it rn...LITERALLY anything.
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You step aside after opening the door for jimin who carefully places your daughter in her carseat."You know where to find me if you change your mind" jimin tells you walking back to the apartment complex leaving you alone with your racing mind without sparing you a glance. You refused his offer. The risk is high and you didn't want to put your daughter's life on the line so you turned jimin down.
You shut the door a bit louder than you intended out of frustration and made your way to the other side of the car to start driving home.
Your phone battery died a long time ago and you started to prepare yourself mentally for taehyung's fight match. But it was only 1 am you doubt that he'll be home this early. Regardless you knew an argument is going to happen because you didn't pick up any of his calls. Although it made you wonder why his guards didn't bust thorough jimin's apartment you had Luna's tracking device on her so surely it altered taehyung on her whereabouts...but maybe that's why he didn't came in like a hurricane.
You reached for the tracking device in the back carefully taking it out of Luna's front pocket to your sheer horror the device battery was dead. You curse under your breath tossing it at the backseat out of anger. Nothing seems to go how you want it to and it was so frustrating. Your driving pace picked up and you were out of the crowded city in a blink of an eye.
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Carrying Luna in one hand and opening the door with the other was a task you couldn't master. Eventually the door opened you didn't know if it was for how you cursed at it or because you kept jamming in the key hoping it works. but it was finally open.
You gently lay her down on her little bed, you take off her shoes and pull the covers tucking her in. You shut her bedroom door and sigh of relief that she didn't wake up at all.
Your little one was getting so big that you were craving a glass of water after carrying her. So you made your way to the kitchen but your walking came to a halt when you saw your husband casually sitting on the couch that faced the staircase. "Welcome home...took you long enough" taehyung remarks you sigh walking down the last few steps that were left. "Taehyung please luna is sleeping let's not do this" you tell him begging him with your eyes that he doesn't start a riot at this hour of the night.
"Where were you and why the fuck is your tracking device still here when you're out God knows where!" He yelled taking you by surprise as he stood up from the seat towering over you with a death stare.
"Relax...we came back in one piece there's no need for any of this" you say walking past him to the kitchen to have that glass of water however he yanks you so you're facing him again "weren't you the one who was afraid of something bad happening and what do you do? You go without the one thing that could bring you back!" He shouts "tell me how the hell am I supposed to know where you or my baby are if something were to happen!" You pull your arm away from his grip "nothing happened so chill out!" You roll your eyes trying to walk away from him "for the record I took Luna's tracking device" you reassure as you fill up the glass with water. You could see steam coming out of his ears. Taehyung was livid "then why the fuck don't I see it on here huh?" He points to his smart watch that he tracks the devices from.
Crap it completely slipped from your mind you swallow the lump in your throat "the battery died" you bite your lip. If taehyung was mad a minute ago now he'll skin you alive. He takes the glass from your hand slamming it in the sink "are you out of your damn mind!" He walks forward and you walk backwards afraid of colliding with him. "What if you or our fucking girl gets kidnapped huh?!...what the fuck will I do then? You'll blame me for it you'll say that I didn't protect her you'll hate me for not being a good fucking father you'll curse me for losing our child you'll blame me for everything! When it's your fucking fault" he snaps you avoid looking in his eyes "I won't blame you for anything! we were just in the city...it's not far away I'm just as careful as you are over her..trust me" you tell him softly.
"What were you doing in the city? for fuck's sake that's where all the other gangs hideouts are" he groans walking away from you while rubbing his temples, you were giving him all different types of headaches...new ones that got on every nerve of his. Deep down you'll admit you were so dumb for not charging Luna's tracking device you didn't know what you'll do with yourself if something happened to her because of your mind slipping.
"Would you Please stop...I went to visit a friend-" you hesitate to speak but you knew taehyung won't get off your back until he's satisfied with an answer "a friend?" He raises his eyebrow tapping his bottom lip with his pointer finger, he sighs while brushing his hair back "a friend?!" He laughs "you're supposed to be dead to them! What fucking friend!" He yells not believing how naively you were acting. Risking your and your daughter's life for seeing 'a friend'.
"It's jimin" you say his eyes snap back up when he hears jimin's name roll out of your mouth  "Luna wanted to see jimin so I took her to h-" he cuts you off "bullshit!" He graps you by your throat slamming you against the wall. You shudder at the suddenness as you choke on your breath. "Tell me what's going on between you and Jimin and this is the last time I ask nicely!" He shouts you squirm in your spot "n-nothing!" He pulls you forward only to slam you against the wall again and you let out a cry "I said tell me!" His voice booms through the mansion making the hair on your body stand.
His grip on your neck was suffocating that your eyes started to roll to the back of your head, you could see death standing behind taehyung's back, lurking.
You found little strength left in you and started to hit taehyung's hand hoping that your punches were strong enough to knock his arm off of you. Tears roll down your cheeks you eyes were going to pop out of their sockets every little vain in them was burning red that taehyung himself saw how your eyes was gonna lose their light if he held you the way he's holding you a minute longer. For a brief second he didn't want to let go "Daddy you're killing her!" A little voice shouted.
Both of your heads turned towards a sobbing Luna standing on the staircase holding out her little arms. Something in taehyung snaps and he pulls away from you too quick that you fall to the floor dying to breathe Luna runs to you crying and whimpering. She calls out your name softly while holding your head in her lap as she wipes away your tears. "Mommy don't leave me please mommy wake up please-" she cries louder when you don't reply to her.
the wind returns to your lungs and you hug your daughter as you cry in her lap and she cradles you in her arms crying with you but of relief.
On the other hand Taehyung never hated himself as much as he do now, seeing his daughter and you in that state, the guilt was eating him up so painfully that he couldn't stay here to hear your sobs or how Luna as little as she is tell you that it'll be okay. She's too young to witness all of this. The last thing taehyung wanted is for his children to live how he lived. In an environment like this. Watching his parents fight and hurt each other and hurting others not to mention running a mafia gang to top it all off. It's all apart of taehyung now it's his roots and it's who he is Although he doesn't want Luna to grow up and be exactly like...him.
After taehyung was out of sight you sat up cradling your daughter in your arms as you wipe away your tears and trying to calm Luna down her sniffles were tugging on your heart strings and it just hurt you a lot you kissed the top of her head while getting up and started walking towards her room you made sure to lock the door then you got in and cuddled with Luna in her tiny bed drifting off to sleep. Hoping to God that you don't relive what you just went through in your dreams.
When your eyes flutter open again the sun was shining through the big window, it was quite and peaceful Luna's short breaths were the only sound you heard along with the chirping birds outside...you wished it was always this peaceful. Just you and your babygirl. No taehyung no mafia no father in law trying to kidnap your baby and no long lost love that was still hanging in the air not knowing if you should follow it or let go. Seems like you were chasing the clouds.
You got up and walked to the little dresser, taehyung's grip colored your skin with deep purple and blue marks you winced when you traced them gently you sigh as you look away from your reflection. Too ashamed to look at who you've become.
Weak. Miserable. You became your worst nightmare and that's when you started crying again. You place your hands on your mouth to muffle the sound of your cries. This is not how you imagined your life would be. This is not the life you worked so hard for. This is not the life you deserved. But then again...you killed. You tortured people you hunted down groups and ambushed places and spilled blood like it was water... like the people you  killed didn't have a family waiting for them to come back home,maybe this was your karma. For all your wrong doings.
But no human could ever bare such burdens. You knew that if you kept suppressing all that hurt all that anger all that sadness all that pain you'd never survive long enough to see Luna's prom dress...hell you weren't sure if you'll be there for when she starts going to school with taehyung's behavior and your relationship with him ripping in sherds and taehyung is catching up with you and jimin...everything is starting to crumble beneath your feet and all you're able to do is sit back and watch.
You couldn't fight back, there's nothing left for you...you care about and love Luna but you're not being a good mother to her or so that's what you're starting to think. You deserved what taehyung did to you last night. how could you forget to charge her tracking device! Why were you that reckless in the first place? is getting to jimin was all that was on your mind? That everything else didn't matter... what would you do if you returned and she wasn't with jimin?
You shake your head when you hear Luna walking around in the room. You need to be strong...just a little longer until you find a way out...an escape...a golden ticket to freedom. For you and your daughter and if you couldn't escape you wanted to save her. You want her to live a peaceful life you want her to marry a man or a woman she's in love with. you want a normal job for her a job that doesn't involve killing and stealing and being the dirts of the earth.
The one thing that you did right was having her. And you're not planning on ruining it.
You splash your face with cold water and head towards your sleepy baby you pick her up and place her in your lap. Brushing her hair behind her ears "good morning princess" you tell her softly kissing her chubby cheeks "mornin mommy" she says in pout making you hold her tighter in your arms. "My cutie...how did I get so lucky!" You kiss her cheeks and forehead and anywhere you can as she giggles in your arms and squirms..her laughter was music to your ears. You felt much better after hearing her laugh and seeing her smile. After last night...the way she was crying made your heart bend and break.
"Don't you want breakfast?" You ask her. She nods furiously "please...I want froothoops" she tells you "frootloops?" You ask giggling "yea that!" She smiles you laugh "let's go prepare it then yeah?" You place her on the ground and she runs to the door waiting for you to unlock it you smile and do so and watch her run infront of you. Too excited to have breakfast. Oh how you miss the day where your biggest problem was what to eat for breakfast...
You pour the milk in and Luna insists that she's a big girl now and can pour the cereal without spilling it all over the kitchen island and you agree after a lot of begging of course. She actually pours it in the plate and not twenty feet away from it. You smile proudly at her and praise her then you place her in her baby chair and go over to start the coffee machine.
While the coffee is brewing and Luna is too busy on her learning apps you hit the call button pressing the phone to your ear.
"Hello?"
"...is the offer still available?"
"What offer?..."
"Jimin...let's runway...you , me and Luna"
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